Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 23, 2019


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #115 | Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes


Episode Stats

Length

56 minutes

Words per Minute

149.36777

Word Count

8,387

Sentence Count

652

Misogynist Sentences

23

Hate Speech Sentences

62


Summary

Jimmy McInnes talks about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his own father and how he managed to get away with it. He also talks about some of the worst things he ever did to his own son, and tries to make up for it in his own way, which is pretty good considering what happened to him as a kid. He's not the only one who's been abused by his father, though, so maybe it's not as bad as he thinks it is after all. Jimmy also discusses the time he broke the deadbolt on the front door of his house, and the time his father picked him up by the neck and threw him 20 feet in the air. And the one time he accidentally knocked out a deadbolt at his front door. And, of course, there's a story about how he almost got into a fight with his own dad. Enjoy the episode, and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser.co.uk. If you like what you hear, please subscribe and tell a friend about what you think of the podcast and what you'd like it to be in the future episodes. It'll help us out there to keep us up to date with the latest episodes. Thank you, Jimmy. XOXO. -Jono. Jono's Dad, Jimmy Mcinnes Music: "I'm Obsessed" by Ian Dorsch "Goodbye, My Dear" by Fergie (featuring "Good Morning" by The Good Morning Crew (feat. ) and "I'll See You" by "The Good Life" by Kevin McLeod - "I Can't Wait" by Squeak & "Thank You, My Dad" by Shadydave and "This Is It's Not Your Day" by by "Peeepeee, My Brother" by Peeeeeepee & "I Don't Know What I'm Gonna Do It" by Mr Peeepie and "Goodbye" by Ms Mckinnon & "Alyssa & I'm Too Effing Goodbye & I'll Have A Good Day" by "Bye, I'm Sober and I'm Sorry" (Squeepee and I'll Hear You'll Hear Them Say It's Gotta Have It by You're Not Sorry By Me & I Can't Have It By Me And I'll Love You Say It"


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes.
00:00:04.000 Say hello, Dad.
00:00:05.000 Hi, guys.
00:00:06.000 That's it?
00:00:10.000 Well, that's it.
00:00:12.000 Hello.
00:00:13.000 I want to go over a lot of stuff today on this podcast.
00:00:17.000 I'm kind of obsessed with South Africa these days.
00:00:21.000 But first, I thought we should sort of do an audit of all the things you did wrong as a father.
00:00:26.000 All the abuse.
00:00:28.000 That I went through.
00:00:28.000 So I'm going to name some of the things that you did to me and maybe you could try to summon some sort of explanation.
00:00:36.000 And of course, there's no explanation.
00:00:38.000 I apologize.
00:00:39.000 It's totally fine and understandable.
00:00:41.000 So let's start with the time in Bridalwood when you came into the basement and you didn't like the way I had built my bed and you threw me through the air.
00:00:50.000 I must've traveled about 20 feet.
00:00:51.000 Well,
00:00:55.000 What you did, we bought a waterbed for you.
00:00:58.000 A waterbed.
00:00:59.000 Which is weird that cheap people would buy such an expensive thing.
00:01:03.000 And that's what pained me, because we laid out money for this waterbed, but of course, you decided you knew how to actually work it, and you were going to fill it with water.
00:01:17.000 But of course, you didn't read the directions, and you got it totally wrong.
00:01:23.000 So it ended up we had this waterbed leaking water all over the place and you were totally lost in terms of what to do to fix it.
00:01:36.000 That's not even close to true.
00:01:38.000 You've rewritten history in your own mind to stop the nightmares.
00:01:43.000 What happened was, you got me a waterbed, but I didn't feel very punk to have a waterbed in a nice bedroom, so I, against your will, I built it in the basement.
00:01:52.000 And I ignored the directions, because culturally I'm of the culture... And that's exactly what I said.
00:01:56.000 Directions are for fags, I've always said.
00:01:58.000 I hadn't filled it with water yet.
00:02:00.000 You were just mad that you found the... You were trying to fill it with water.
00:02:03.000 I don't think I had even started that stage.
00:02:06.000 I think it was just the bed frame.
00:02:07.000 And you came running down with the directions, and that's when you threw me through the air.
00:02:13.000 Well, you see, there again, you know, you typically get all these things wrong.
00:02:20.000 The only part there's any controversy here is whether I had started filling it or not, which I don't think I had.
00:02:25.000 Yes, you did.
00:02:26.000 And you made a mess of it.
00:02:28.000 The basement was unfinished.
00:02:30.000 It just would have gone on a cement floor.
00:02:32.000 But there was a supply of water.
00:02:36.000 I don't think that's true, my friend.
00:02:38.000 Well, okay, I think, um, I'm sorry.
00:02:40.000 I think we should move on to some other... Alright, you know what?
00:02:44.000 Apology accepted.
00:02:46.000 Let's move to the next one.
00:02:48.000 Remember the time when I was a little late for a trip, and you picked me up by the neck, walked me to the front door, and we hit the front door so hard it shattered the deadbolt, and we both went flying onto the ground.
00:03:00.000 Do you remember that?
00:03:02.000 Well, again, there's an extraordinary exaggeration.
00:03:07.000 What happened was, I generally only had two holidays every year.
00:03:13.000 And I was looking forward to a holiday and we were going to leave about four o'clock in the afternoon.
00:03:20.000 What was that holiday?
00:03:21.000 And you did not appear.
00:03:25.000 You were supposed to be there at four o'clock, but you never appeared.
00:03:30.000 Yeah, just like the previous one, my culture was directions are for fags, and you were shoving that culture down my own throat against me.
00:03:38.000 And this one, culturally, I like to say goodbye to people at school, including the janitor, and make sure the school's totally empty by the time I leave.
00:03:47.000 Well, I think you're right.
00:03:49.000 The school was totally empty.
00:03:52.000 You were the only clown in that school.
00:03:57.000 You know what, I remember being on the bus, and it was public transportation because the school was far away, and people in the bus were saying, oh man, there was this Scottish lady at the office and she was screaming at the principal about something, whoever her son is, is in big trouble.
00:04:12.000 And I remember thinking, I'm her son, I'm in big trouble.
00:04:17.000 As you should be.
00:04:18.000 How did you break the deadbolt, though, with both of our bodies?
00:04:21.000 See, the deadbolt is nonsense.
00:04:23.000 There's no such thing.
00:04:24.000 Well, I remember smashing against the front door, and I remember both of us hitting the ground.
00:04:28.000 No, no, see, that's nonsense.
00:04:30.000 That is nonsense.
00:04:31.000 It's very true.
00:04:32.000 I picked you up by the scruff of the neck and pushed you against the wall.
00:04:40.000 What wall?
00:04:40.000 What wall?
00:04:41.000 The wall in our living room.
00:04:43.000 But you were waiting in the car when I got home.
00:04:46.000 Yes, you were.
00:04:47.000 You were sitting there bobbing like an autistic child.
00:04:49.000 No, you didn't get home.
00:04:51.000 I had to go to the school and pick you up at the school, drive you home, and as we're... Wrong, wrong, wrong.
00:05:00.000 How would I have that memory of being on the bus if you drove me home?
00:05:02.000 You drove to the school, you couldn't find me because I'd already taken the bus.
00:05:06.000 So then you're back in the driveway, you're sitting there bobbing like Rain Man, and you had said to Mom,
00:05:11.000 Well, obviously someone has got this story wrong and I know it's not me.
00:05:37.000 It's definitely not the senile bald man with a white beard who can't remember where he lives.
00:05:43.000 It's definitely not Mr. Magoo.
00:05:47.000 It's the man 25 years younger.
00:05:50.000 Excuse me, that's ageism.
00:05:53.000 You know, I'm sorry, that is absolutely disgusting.
00:05:53.000 Yeah.
00:05:57.000 Just because it's you, you would pick on someone because of their age.
00:06:03.000 You know, there was a time when
00:06:06.000 Elderly people were respected, but seemingly that's not true anymore.
00:06:12.000 Well, there was a time when elderly people deserved respect, and that seemingly has passed.
00:06:18.000 Alright, let's get serious now.
00:06:20.000 So, I don't know if you keep up with the news, but here's the latest on Trump.
00:06:26.000 He's stupid.
00:06:27.000 He just watches Fox News and they're really laying it thick on Tucker Carlson.
00:06:32.000 That's their new enemy.
00:06:33.000 And Tucker made up some crazy story about white South Africans being under siege and how there was some dumb law that doesn't exist that they were going to take all the farmers land and kill all the white farmers.
00:06:47.000 And Trump heard that lie from Tucker.
00:06:51.000 No one stops to wonder why Tucker Carlson can sit there and just make up stories on Fox News, like midgets are being attacked.
00:06:59.000 So apparently to them, he can just make up a myth, right?
00:07:02.000 And then the next day, Trump said, hey, don't take the white farmer's land about South Africa.
00:07:08.000 And then the media doubles down and says there is absolutely no evidence of any kind of conflict there.
00:07:16.000 with the white farmers in South Africa.
00:07:18.000 I call it South African denialism.
00:07:20.000 Well, you know, it's, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put this on Tucker.
00:07:24.000 You know, there was a two people who I think were absolutely outstanding reporters, Lauren Southern and Katie Hopkins.
00:07:35.000 They exposed the absolutely horrific acts that were going on between the white farmers and the
00:07:45.000 People who supported the President, or the Prime Minister of South Africa, who had decided to take over the land.
00:07:57.000 And even Theresa May, the Prime Minister of England, felt that was perfectly alright.
00:08:04.000 As long as the paid compensation.
00:08:08.000 The problem is, who decides what the compensation is?
00:08:12.000 And of course, the government will decide the compensation.
00:08:16.000 So, these poor white farmers, their children have been, the atrocities committed on these people are absolutely horrendous.
00:08:30.000 And I've talked to people here, and their attitude seems to be, well, they stole it from the African, so they deserve it.
00:08:42.000 And it's like we have the same issue here in America.
00:08:46.000 We stole the land from the natives.
00:08:50.000 Ergo, we deserve all kinds of punishment, all kinds of reparation, and it's
00:08:59.000 The left now has moved so far left it's absolutely nonsensical.
00:09:08.000 I'll take the argument that they stole the farms and they just want the farms back.
00:09:12.000 That's not true.
00:09:14.000 That's a lie.
00:09:15.000 The Boers negotiated deals for that land.
00:09:18.000 But not only that, there weren't farms then.
00:09:21.000 It was the Boers.
00:09:23.000 It's some of the least farmable land in the world.
00:09:25.000 They made farms out of brush.
00:09:29.000 Yes.
00:09:30.000 And they were incredibly hard-working people who made bombs out of brush.
00:09:38.000 And they were incredibly successful for generations.
00:09:43.000 And they employed many, many South Africans.
00:09:48.000 And now
00:09:50.000 What's happening in South Africa is the same what happened in Zimbabwe.
00:09:56.000 The white farmers were chased out of their farms in Zimbabwe.
00:10:01.000 Zimbabwe used to be a breadbasket of South Africa.
00:10:06.000 Of Africa?
00:10:07.000 Of South Africa.
00:10:08.000 I wouldn't say of Africa, but certainly of South Africa.
00:10:11.000 And now they're being chased off the land.
00:10:13.000 And Zimbabwe is a disaster.
00:10:17.000 I'm not sure what the inflation rate in Zimbabwe is, but I believe that Zimbabwe has more billionaires than anywhere else, because a billion dollars will buy you a loaf of bread.
00:10:34.000 No, without exaggerating, a cheeseburger in Zimbabwe is 14 million Zimbabwean dollars.
00:10:40.000 It also costs about that
00:10:42.000 To make a long-distance phone call.
00:10:44.000 And Mugabe, who's my favorite dictator, is begging for the white farmers to come back.
00:10:50.000 But the crazy part of all of this is it's considered racist to recognize it because white nationalists also think this is a problem.
00:10:58.000 So if white nationalists use toilet paper and you use toilet paper, well, then you're a white nationalist.
00:11:03.000 All cats are mammals.
00:11:05.000 All dogs are mammals.
00:11:06.000 So all cats are dogs.
00:11:08.000 And the other argument they say, too, is they go, the white farmers don't experience much more crime than the average South African in the city does.
00:11:16.000 And you go, A, people in the city are supposed to experience more crime than rural farmers, and B, you're totally ignoring the level of sadism.
00:11:25.000 And the Lawrence Southern documentary you mentioned earlier is called Farmlands.
00:11:28.000 I highly recommend people go on YouTube to watch it.
00:11:30.000 The sadism that a 12-year-old boiled alive
00:11:35.000 In a big bucket, they took an 80-year-old woman with a drill, and they drilled her to death by drilling holes in her.
00:11:43.000 A common mode of torture is to rape the woman, the wife, and kill the children in front of the husband, then dismember them, and then leave the husband alone.
00:11:53.000 Sometimes blind him, but usually leave him alone, so he later blows his own head off.
00:11:57.000 If you had that level of sadism for dogs,
00:12:01.000 There would be riots in the streets.
00:12:02.000 People would be going to South Africa right now saying, save the puppies.
00:12:05.000 But for some reason, white farmers are less valuable to Western society than dogs.
00:12:12.000 Well, the narrative is that the farmers stole the land from the African and has to pay a price.
00:12:24.000 And there's no limit to what that price has to be paid.
00:12:28.000 It sure as hell
00:12:30.000 Your life is not worth it.
00:12:33.000 Sorry, to get back to what I was saying earlier, the idea that they stole the farmland, which isn't true, but at least that's some sort of an argument.
00:12:41.000 That's not where we're at right now.
00:12:43.000 Where we're at right now is this is not happening at all.
00:12:46.000 It's a total and utter myth.
00:12:47.000 There was no child boiled alive.
00:12:49.000 There was no woman raped in front of her husband.
00:12:51.000 There was no old lady drilled to death with a power drill.
00:12:55.000 If there was, if that actually happened,
00:12:58.000 That's an extreme.
00:12:59.000 That's a one-off.
00:13:00.000 Oh, it's a freak accident.
00:13:01.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:13:03.000 And I had a conversation with a German the other day, and he refused to believe that Andrea Merkel had ruined Germany.
00:13:17.000 I get that from Germans all the time.
00:13:19.000 And I told him, I talked to him, and I said, well, what happened about this
00:13:26.000 Cologne Railway Station in Cologne, downtown Cologne, where there was all this incredible amount of rapes.
00:13:35.000 And he says, well, that's just a one-off.
00:13:38.000 Yeah, I know a journalist at Der Spiegel, and he says, yes, that's what you're talking about is a minor influx, and it's just a blip in crime, but we will settle that.
00:13:47.000 And then he said to me, but of course, shortly, we will have handled all this, and you'll be stuck in this shithole, this Trump, and we will be living in our beautiful Germany.
00:13:57.000 I'm like, dude, your beautiful Germany is long gone, my friend.
00:14:00.000 It's long gone, and it will never, the problem is, it will never come back.
00:14:08.000 Wasn't Mom prevented from going into an area in some old German town that was a no-go zone?
00:14:14.000 No, no, no.
00:14:15.000 There's several people.
00:14:17.000 In fact, not just no-go zones in Germany.
00:14:21.000 It was either northern, southern... In Munich!
00:14:24.000 Mom was going for a walk in Munich and she was told... No, that's not the story.
00:14:29.000 We arrived in Munich, in the Munich railway station, and there were
00:14:36.000 bunch of immigrants and they were asking, they were kind of a crowding Lorraine.
00:14:44.000 Because Lorraine was an incredibly gorgeous woman with blonde hair.
00:14:49.000 Dad, Jesus, you're going back half a century now to Turkey and you're conflating that with the true story I'm talking about when you were doing your house swaps and you were in some German town like three years ago.
00:15:02.000 Not 1960 fucking five.
00:15:05.000 Jesus Christ.
00:15:07.000 You didn't make that clear.
00:15:09.000 Well, it's a given.
00:15:10.000 When someone talks about someone going to a no-go, Mom, tell us a story.
00:15:18.000 Wait, now you're gone off on a tangent!
00:15:21.000 I'm talking about recently!
00:15:22.000 And it never happened recently.
00:15:25.000 You had your bikes, you were riding on your bikes in this beautiful German town that had been lost and it was maybe three years ago and there was an area that Jews couldn't go into because they've been taken over by Muslims.
00:15:36.000 That was Spain.
00:15:37.000 Yeah.
00:15:38.000 So you got the story wrong.
00:15:39.000 We both got this story wrong.
00:15:41.000 We both should apologize.
00:15:43.000 But in terms of what's happening in Europe, it's a disaster.
00:15:49.000 An absolute disaster.
00:15:50.000 But curiously enough, people won't recognize it.
00:15:57.000 They don't recognize.
00:15:58.000 They won't recognize it.
00:15:59.000 You know, as I mentioned, this is a chap who has a child, a young son.
00:16:06.000 When I say a young son, I mean a 30, 40 year old.
00:16:10.000 In Munich and he's maintaining there's no issue there.
00:16:15.000 Well let me tell you there was an issue over 50 years ago in Munich.
00:16:20.000 Right.
00:16:21.000 So well now at New Year's Eve they have these rape free tents where women get to go to not to be guaranteed they won't be raped on the streets.
00:16:31.000 But it's nonsense you know and we have this situation where in Sweden
00:16:37.000 You know, people are telling them, mayors of towns are telling young women to dye their hair so they're not blonde because if you're blonde you have a higher chance of being raped.
00:16:54.000 You know, the thing I loved, the thing that was remarkable about Sweden and Norway was
00:17:01.000 Incredibly gorgeous blondes.
00:17:04.000 And I remember my wife telling me a story that she went to Norway on a skiing holiday and she's traveling across Norway in a train and she's looking out the train window and seeing all these incredibly
00:17:24.000 Gorgeous blonde woman.
00:17:25.000 Gorgeous?
00:17:26.000 Was it gorgeous?
00:17:27.000 Gorgeous.
00:17:28.000 Absolutely gorgeous blonde woman.
00:17:30.000 And she turned to her friends and said,
00:17:33.000 We have no hope here.
00:17:35.000 There's way too much competition.
00:17:37.000 Well, one theory about the way the refugees treat blondes is they don't have access to women in these shithole countries.
00:17:44.000 And so they end up just watching porn.
00:17:46.000 And when they watch porn, there's all these blonde whores who are dying for it.
00:17:50.000 So they get to Germany, they go, oh, these are those blonde whores I saw on TV that love to be gangbanged.
00:17:56.000 Well, I don't, I mean, I'm not sure if that's true.
00:17:58.000 All I know is they wouldn't do it to Muslim women.
00:18:02.000 Yeah.
00:18:03.000 That's true.
00:18:03.000 But wait, before we abandon South Africa, there's two unturned stones here.
00:18:06.000 One is that the Farm Acquisition Act was just about to be passed, and then Trump said, don't pass this, and they abandoned it.
00:18:16.000 That became Trump taking cues from Fox News.
00:18:19.000 And I've heard the Prime Minister say,
00:18:23.000 Two separate occasions.
00:18:24.000 One time he said, we haven't agreed to take back all the white farms, dot, dot, dot, yet.
00:18:30.000 And then he also said, we haven't decided we will kill the white farmers, dot, dot, dot, yet.
00:18:37.000 And he was being kind of snarky and whimsical, adding that yet at the end, like that's him being a badass, because his voters like that.
00:18:45.000 And they have footage of him dancing up and down with a song where the chorus is kill the boar.
00:18:51.000 Now, sometimes, Dad, your stories will be so long and tedious that I feel like I want to sing Kill the Boar.
00:18:58.000 But the vowels are switched around.
00:19:05.000 And you didn't, you know, fight for that land.
00:19:08.000 People don't get to, like, they think of Boers and they think of apartheid.
00:19:12.000 And they don't understand that the Boers were under siege from Zulus, whom the first Bota there, the first leader of South Africa, learned Zulu, worked with the Zulus, fought alongside of them in exchange for land.
00:19:24.000 Eventually, the Zulus turned on him after they'd done a massive land deal.
00:19:27.000 Murdered his entire family.
00:19:28.000 That's when it became open season on Zulus.
00:19:31.000 Oh great, I forgot what I was talking about.
00:19:41.000 Oh yeah, so there was South Africa, but the Boers were under siege not just from Zulus, but from the Brits.
00:19:48.000 Churchill and his boys were terrorizing them.
00:19:50.000 Boer wars.
00:19:51.000 Yes, killing women and children, massacring them.
00:19:54.000 Well, boers may not be very interesting, but I don't think you should wear wars on them.
00:20:01.000 That's just my joke.
00:20:02.000 You're just repeating my joke.
00:20:03.000 The boer pun is done now.
00:20:05.000 Let's put that to bed.
00:20:07.000 I wasn't told about that.
00:20:09.000 Let's act like your nurse, your day nurse, and put that to bed, okay?
00:20:13.000 Let's wash it, give it a bath, give that joke a sponge bath, wipe its ass and put it to bed.
00:20:21.000 So they've already established that killing white farmers and taking back farms is something they consider legislating.
00:20:30.000 And one of the great things about Lauren Southern's doc is you see these cell phone blockers on these thieves in the infrared night vision.
00:20:37.000 from that their cameras pick up the farmers cameras pick up and you go wait a minute you guys are sadistic thieves criminals who have no money why do you have state-of-the-art military cell phone blockers on your backpack if it's not sanctioned by the government and the government hands out these cards where you're a member of the ANC and you show this card when you get arrested and it absolves you of a crime the this group is a communist
00:21:03.000 Dictatorship, it's a military government that is sanctioning murder and the West ignores it because it feels racist to defend white children from being boiled alive.
00:21:15.000 It's fucking clown world!
00:21:18.000 I like your term and that's where we are.
00:21:21.000 We're in clown world.
00:21:23.000 There's absolutely no doubt about it.
00:21:26.000 We seem to have lost any common sense
00:21:31.000 Yeah, like with the Jussie Smollett thing, not to get back into that, but the second you heard, ski masks, MAGA hats, this is MAGA country, poured bleach on me, your natural instincts should go, meh, especially in this day and age.
00:21:42.000 In Chicago, you're MAGA country, you know, and you're attacked at 2 in the morning and something like, what was it, minus 10 degrees, and there's a bunch of white races, you know, hanging about.
00:21:59.000 Outside a subway, you know.
00:22:02.000 Bleach freezes at that temperature, by the way.
00:22:05.000 It would be a bleach slushie they would have poured on it.
00:22:09.000 But, you know, there's... And everybody's sized upon it, you know.
00:22:14.000 Sized?
00:22:15.000 Seized upon it.
00:22:16.000 But even Kamala's father said, this is wrong.
00:22:24.000 Kamala Harris's father sensed it was a prank?
00:22:26.000 Yes.
00:22:27.000 Oh, because she took it.
00:22:28.000 She ran with it.
00:22:29.000 This is a woman, by the way, who will be negotiating with Israelis and Palestinians and trying to prevent, you know, a major war erupting in Afghanistan.
00:22:40.000 So we have to trust, if she was president, we have to trust her instincts.
00:22:43.000 And her instincts are, we can do better than this, America!
00:22:47.000 And look at Cory Booker.
00:22:53.000 Nonsense.
00:22:53.000 Well, they're the same person.
00:22:54.000 Corey and Kamala grew up rich and they want to try to sound dope.
00:22:57.000 So she claims she was listening to Tupac before he was a rapper.
00:23:00.000 But you also see this with the... I'm getting pedantic with this because I keep going over these same stories.
00:23:06.000 But you get this with the UVA hoax.
00:23:09.000 Sabrina Erdely heard that there was a gang rape frat.
00:23:13.000 I mean, to be fair, to be honest with you, I've never raped a woman on top of a broken glass table.
00:23:19.000 But that's my fantasy.
00:23:39.000 Well, I stopped doing it because my knees would get shredded.
00:23:42.000 It's brutal.
00:23:43.000 Glass is sharp.
00:23:45.000 Oh, God.
00:23:46.000 What a thought.
00:23:47.000 Why?
00:23:48.000 And this is actually too much like my last podcast where I kept saying, why did you want it to be true?
00:23:53.000 That's what drives me nuts.
00:23:54.000 Like, why is there so much hatred for not just white people, but
00:24:00.000 It's a particular type of white person, like successful.
00:24:02.000 Actually, no, in South Africa, it's just any kind of white person.
00:24:06.000 They just have so much contempt.
00:24:08.000 You know Jeffrey Dahmer?
00:24:09.000 They're doing a documentary on him and he found out about it.
00:24:12.000 I don't know if he's still alive, but he was alive when this happened.
00:24:15.000 And he contacted the documentarians and he said, hey, I'm just guessing how he talks, by the way.
00:24:22.000 Hey, I heard that you were doing a documentary on me.
00:24:24.000 I want you to know that I only ate black people because I lived in an area that was predominantly black.
00:24:31.000 I'm not racist.
00:24:33.000 So we have cannibals more concerned with being called racist than being known for someone who ate someone.
00:24:42.000 How did we get here?
00:24:44.000 Well, I think what's, in terms of South Africa,
00:24:48.000 I have a friend who is a daughter married a South African surgeon.
00:24:54.000 How do you have so many friends, by the way?
00:24:55.000 Do people have a high tolerance when they get older?
00:25:00.000 Well, I call them friends, but they're probably not.
00:25:03.000 They're probably pressing charges.
00:25:06.000 You mean people with restraining orders in your community.
00:25:08.000 Yeah, they've probably got a lawsuit out against me.
00:25:11.000 However, so this chap,
00:25:17.000 Doctor.
00:25:18.000 And all these white people generally live in gated communities.
00:25:25.000 So what happens is, in the morning, the whites move to go and work outside the gated community.
00:25:35.000 And then the South Africans move in, and they're maids and gardeners and nannies and whatever.
00:25:44.000 And he said, you know, at one time, at one point, you know, the natives, the South Africans are going to say, we're staying here.
00:25:54.000 Don't let the guys, don't let the whites back in.
00:25:57.000 Close the gates.
00:25:58.000 Change the passcode.
00:26:00.000 And he says, and that's going to happen.
00:26:03.000 They're going to realize, wait a minute.
00:26:05.000 Why are the white people, why do they have so much wealth?
00:26:10.000 We should have this!
00:26:12.000 Oh, I'm glad you brought that up because it reminds me of another thing I wanted to say.
00:26:15.000 There's this view of farms that they're sort of these magical fountains of youth.
00:26:22.000 They're just like oil holes.
00:26:24.000 You know, they're these giant piles of gold that just keep producing and producing and producing.
00:26:29.000 And that's not the deal with farms.
00:26:31.000 They take an incredible amount of investment, right?
00:26:34.000 Oh yes.
00:26:36.000 Farming is very much a business.
00:26:41.000 It's not as though you just wait for whatever you're farming to grow and then you reap it and sell it and make a fortune.
00:26:53.000 That's a children's book!
00:26:54.000 You need to invest a tremendous amount of money for seeds, for fertilizers, for labor,
00:27:04.000 It's very much a business, and I don't think that the background of the South Africans
00:27:26.000 understand the business behind farming.
00:27:30.000 So it ends that way.
00:27:31.000 So they get the farms, but they don't know how to farm.
00:27:36.000 They don't know how to go and get the money in order to start the farming.
00:27:43.000 So most of the farming ends up as subsistence farming.
00:27:48.000 85% of the farms because this this notion that they might get taken over no no no no they're being taken over in droves there's very few farmers left the only question is when will it become law right now they're just stealing them but it's about to become totally legal to steal them so the idea that this might happen in the horizon is silly it's already happened and out of the farms that have been stolen 85% are just dead
00:28:11.000 So you go, well, 15% are doing well.
00:28:13.000 No, no, no, no.
00:28:14.000 The 15% have maybe half an acre surrounding the farmhouse where they're just doing subsistence farming for that particular family.
00:28:21.000 They're not generating any food.
00:28:23.000 South Africa is running out of food.
00:28:24.000 They're running out of water.
00:28:26.000 They kicked all the white people out and it's turning into Zimbabwe.
00:28:29.000 We've been through this before.
00:28:30.000 No, Zimbabwe absolutely is a complete, absolute disaster.
00:28:39.000 Mugabe?
00:28:41.000 Robert Mugabe?
00:28:41.000 He's the best.
00:28:42.000 I read this great article about him once.
00:28:43.000 They were talking about his giant 14 karat gold glasses and it said it was unclear
00:28:56.000 Whether he was wearing the glasses or the glasses were wearing him.
00:28:59.000 I mean, at his birthday parties, he'll have turtles, 400-year-old turtles, for dinner.
00:29:06.000 Lion, you can have lion meat, you can have tiger meat.
00:29:09.000 He just tried to give the country to his mistress, who was his secretary, and now they're rioting.
00:29:14.000 Well, I would love to have access to MacGabby's Swiss account.
00:29:20.000 Yeah!
00:29:21.000 Why is he alive?
00:29:22.000 Well, you should see his kids.
00:29:23.000 His kids are on Instagram, and they put up pictures of themselves with Gucci watches and Lamborghinis and stuff, just like Hugo Chavez's daughter, who's, I think, worth $3 billion.
00:29:31.000 But Mugabe is insane, and he was a terrorist with Mandela.
00:29:38.000 He murdered people and was rewarded for that, just like Mandela was.
00:29:43.000 It's amazing the view that Westerners have of Africa.
00:29:47.000 I mean, I was just at Disneyland at Animal Kingdom, and it's like,
00:29:52.000 And it was such a whitewashed version of a place where people think albinos are magic and dismember them all the time.
00:30:01.000 Or we had that woman who climbed the Statue of Liberty.
00:30:04.000 She just made it to the toes.
00:30:06.000 But she said, I am protesting human rights in this country.
00:30:09.000 I am new to this country and I am protesting.
00:30:11.000 And you're like,
00:30:12.000 The Congo?
00:30:13.000 You're from the Congo?
00:30:15.000 Weren't kids forced to rape their mothers at gunpoint there?
00:30:18.000 You move here and you start telling me about human rights?
00:30:22.000 Talk about an emigrate.
00:30:24.000 Well, you know, I must say you got the right message there.
00:30:30.000 We're living in clown world.
00:30:34.000 We definitely are.
00:30:35.000 You know, I've met a lot of Americans down here.
00:30:40.000 I'm down here about
00:30:41.000 50% of my time.
00:30:42.000 We're in Florida, by the way, folks at home.
00:30:44.000 And I find that they're hysterical about Trump.
00:30:49.000 Completely hysterical.
00:30:52.000 But they don't seem to understand, wait a minute, 50% of your population voted for Trump.
00:31:00.000 And the other 50% voted for a criminal.
00:31:04.000 A criminal!
00:31:06.000 A criminal.
00:31:08.000 Who advocated for her rapist husband again and again, threatened his mistresses, and this sounds too Alex Jones-y for most, but there's just too many suspicious deaths around that woman.
00:31:19.000 There's no suspicious deaths around Obama.
00:31:21.000 It's not a partisan thing.
00:31:24.000 With Hillary Clinton.
00:31:26.000 The Clinton Foundation is so incredibly corrupt.
00:31:32.000 And we have a prime minister who is a total moron.
00:31:37.000 Justin Trudeau, who donated $50 million to this corrupt organization.
00:31:37.000 Justin Trudeau.
00:31:46.000 It's absolutely nonsensical.
00:31:50.000 Well, he also paid the Canadian media $500 million to treat him well in the press, which there's not a lot of Canadian media.
00:31:57.000 I think that works out to about $120,000 per person.
00:32:00.000 I don't know, but that is outrageous that the media is supposed to be independent.
00:32:08.000 That's what we rely upon.
00:32:10.000 We need to have news from independent organizations.
00:32:15.000 Now we can have... News is one thing.
00:32:18.000 News is... This is fact.
00:32:20.000 This is what happened.
00:32:21.000 That's fact.
00:32:23.000 Op-eds are something else.
00:32:25.000 This is how we interpret these facts.
00:32:28.000 This is our views on these facts.
00:32:30.000 But now you don't get news, you get op-eds.
00:32:35.000 Well, you also have these strange new sources, like Twitter.
00:32:39.000 People are getting, they used to get their news mostly from late night talk show hosts.
00:32:42.000 Now they get their news from Twitter, and Twitter, with the Jussie Smollett thing happened, it said, Jussie Smollett attacked by MAGA blah blah blah, and it just said it as a fact.
00:32:52.000 Now that he's arrested, I've noticed it always says, Police say Jussie Smollett blah blah blah blah blah.
00:32:57.000 Oh, and the media, and I'm talking about the common, the mainstream media, are now using this term like, if this is true, this is outrageous.
00:33:13.000 If this is true, it's been said that, you know, and they don't go and research it.
00:33:20.000 It's been said that President Trump
00:33:25.000 lie reportedly had uh prostitutes urinate on a bed reportedly it has been said that and this is absolutely outrageous you know that the media is using if this is true then this is absolutely you know it's it's the old why do you beat your wife thing
00:33:48.000 Well, if it's true you're beating your wife, then that is absolutely terrible.
00:33:53.000 The whole leftist assumption is that there was this latent racism bubbling under the surface, and Obama kept it down.
00:34:02.000 He kept it under this big tarp.
00:34:04.000 And then when Trump showed up, all of a sudden it was liberated.
00:34:11.000 It gets even deeper than that.
00:34:12.000 They talk about white genocide.
00:34:13.000 I had some, there's this Antifa guy they call Giraffe Neck.
00:34:16.000 He released my phone number to the world and he said, text, call Gavin McInnes and tell him that you love white genocide.
00:34:24.000 Because apparently I, that's my fear and it's not just South Africa.
00:34:29.000 It's true, white genocide in South Africa, but what they believe is that the right in America saw that they're going to be a smaller demographic, they're going to be a minority in whatever it is, 20 years, and that scares the shit out of them.
00:34:43.000 I know everyone on the right.
00:34:45.000 I have never heard one person say, we're gonna be a minority soon and shit's not gonna be good!
00:34:51.000 It doesn't come up.
00:34:52.000 They're worried about family values, they're worried about big government,
00:34:55.000 They're worried about the First Amendment, the Second Amendment.
00:34:58.000 They're very worried about abortion.
00:34:59.000 All of this stuff comes up pretty regularly.
00:35:01.000 You can see it in the right-wing blogosphere, right-wing hemisphere.
00:35:05.000 And the whole, like, you're scared you're gonna be a minority is a silly theory.
00:35:10.000 I think it's literally as silly as all these short shorts, you know, this gayness is creeping up.
00:35:18.000 There's gonna be a lot more gays coming up.
00:35:21.000 It's that crazy of a theory that
00:35:22.000 The idea that people are scared of a white minority is just as esoteric as the people are scared that gays are going to take over the country.
00:35:29.000 And they put all their eggs in that one basket!
00:35:32.000 It's so much nonsense.
00:35:34.000 We keep hearing about these white racists, you know, the Ku Klux Klan and what have you.
00:35:44.000 My guess is you could put the white racists
00:35:50.000 And the Klu Klux Klan in my living room.
00:35:54.000 Well, they are every Christmas.
00:36:00.000 You guys sing beautiful hymns together.
00:36:05.000 It's ridiculous.
00:36:06.000 I have, you know, I've been around now 75 years.
00:36:12.000 I'm coming up for 76 years.
00:36:15.000 And I've been around, you know, many countries, Europe, England, America, Canada, and what have you.
00:36:23.000 And I've never met a white racist.
00:36:27.000 A white supremacist.
00:36:28.000 Yeah.
00:36:28.000 It's incredibly rare.
00:36:29.000 I may have heard the n-word in a joke, but I've never heard someone say, these goddamn ends are coming in here, taking out... And that's just assumed to be 50% of the country.
00:36:39.000 And even like evangelicals, super far right, they say, I wish blacks would stay married.
00:36:43.000 They don't want them to go back to Africa.
00:36:46.000 No one's... Richard Spencer said that.
00:36:48.000 No one else says that.
00:36:49.000 It's a crazy concept.
00:36:50.000 Now, as soon as you talk about white races,
00:36:54.000 Richard Spencer comes up.
00:36:55.000 Richard Spencer, David Duke, Charlottesville.
00:36:59.000 That's two people.
00:37:01.000 Two people in a population of about 360 million people.
00:37:05.000 You know?
00:37:08.000 It's absolute nonsense.
00:37:11.000 And they focus on Charlottesville, they focus on the synagogue shooting, which was obviously horrific, but they never mention the West Side Highway.
00:37:18.000 I saw that this, what's his name, Hassan Minhaj, he did the Correspondence Dinner after the Pulse shooting, which I believe killed 89 people for being gays, because he was a Muslim who hated gays.
00:37:30.000 And this irritating Daily Show comedian comes up at the Correspondence Dinner and said, what happened?
00:37:37.000 The other day, in Orlando, was a cocktail of things wrong with this country.
00:37:44.000 And it was our gun laws, the way we treat mental illness, and Islam never came up!
00:37:51.000 No.
00:37:51.000 It was a cocktail of everything but Islam!
00:37:54.000 And if there is an Islamist who guns down people or drives his motor vehicle into a crowd of people, it's because
00:38:06.000 He's mentally ill.
00:38:10.000 Everyone, you know, or he was driven mad by Islamophobia.
00:38:15.000 I made him crazy.
00:38:16.000 Oh no, it's absolutely pathetic, you know, and I really believe that Islam
00:38:27.000 And is ruining Europe.
00:38:30.000 Now, and then people tell me that they know a bunch of Muslims who are really lovely people.
00:38:41.000 You're looking for peace and they just want to live their lives and get on with their lives.
00:38:46.000 Agreed.
00:38:46.000 And I believe that is absolutely true.
00:38:51.000 But the argument I've heard from someone who's way smarter than me is that
00:38:57.000 Exactly that.
00:38:59.000 You know, in Nazi Germany, most Germans were really nice people.
00:39:07.000 But they sat back.
00:39:09.000 In Russia, during this horrible Stalinist organization, you know, where they killed umpteen million Ukrainians.
00:39:18.000 Thirty-five million Bolsheviks?
00:39:20.000 Yes.
00:39:21.000 Most Russians were really nice people.
00:39:26.000 And China, for God's sake, under Mao... Would you stop fucking calling him Mao?
00:39:32.000 Like we're making a BLT?
00:39:33.000 It's Mao!
00:39:34.000 Mao, okay, Mao.
00:39:35.000 Mayo?
00:39:36.000 I'm sorry, Mao.
00:39:37.000 Was he sponsored by Fleischmann's?
00:39:40.000 Hellman's Dictators.
00:39:41.000 You're such a bloody nag.
00:39:43.000 Under Mao, you know, we're tens of millions... Eighty million.
00:39:49.000 Tens of millions of people working.
00:39:51.000 Most Chinese were really nice people.
00:39:56.000 Here is the problem.
00:39:57.000 The nice people have to stop and do something.
00:40:04.000 They can't sit in the background.
00:40:06.000 They have to fight this nonsense.
00:40:09.000 And they don't.
00:40:11.000 Because it really is too high a price to pay.
00:40:16.000 Your family's put at risk.
00:40:19.000 It's just too much.
00:40:20.000 Well, they're a much more valuable ally than you and I. Like, if you go up to a radical jihadist and you say, hello, I'm James McInnes, my boy, and you're absolutely gorgeous, and we would, we, I cannot tell you how much we would appreciate it if you would stop blowing yourself up, my boy.
00:40:43.000 I don't know.
00:41:02.000 Then the cousin and the sister would be a lot more dubious when their relative is at a, you know, a wedding and he says, smite ye above their necks or something.
00:41:11.000 They'd be going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what'd you just say?
00:41:14.000 What did Farrokh just say?
00:41:17.000 What about the guy who went into Orlando and showed up that nightclub and I don't know how many people he killed.
00:41:24.000 I think it was 89.
00:41:25.000 Yeah, and by the way, it wasn't, it was a homosexual act.
00:41:30.000 He was anti-gay.
00:41:32.000 Oh yeah yeah that was another thing that that comedian said that he was gay himself and the homophobia made him so mad.
00:41:38.000 There's nothing to do with this one by the way.
00:41:42.000 And the fact that he said Aloha snack bar as he did it is irrelevant.
00:41:46.000 His father was an Afghani who actually supported the Afghani regime
00:41:58.000 Yes, and he showed up at Hillary campaigns.
00:42:00.000 You saw him in the background behind the Hillary flag.
00:42:03.000 This is after the shooting, just hanging out.
00:42:06.000 I know people in my community, her brother died fighting with the Kashmiris, and she's running around as a local activist promoting Hillary politics.
00:42:14.000 No stigma there.
00:42:15.000 So if you had, like, you got that NASCAR guy, his dad said the N-word in the 80s, and he's losing sponsors.
00:42:22.000 But when your relatives are terrorists, there's no problem.
00:42:25.000 And another thing I want to make clear, too, is they go, plenty of Muslims are wonderful people, and that's obviously true.
00:42:29.000 The left doesn't understand the word disproportionate.
00:42:34.000 They don't understand statistics.
00:42:34.000 No.
00:42:36.000 No.
00:42:37.000 So, in England, where you have these Pakistani Muslims raping all these white girls, you know, the message is, well, white men rape white girls.
00:42:49.000 Very true!
00:42:50.000 So, you can't argue with this.
00:42:52.000 That is absolutely true.
00:42:54.000 But now, look at the statistics.
00:42:58.000 What's the difference in terms of the statistics from white men
00:43:02.000 raping white girls and Pakistani men raping white girls.
00:43:09.000 You know, if you look at the population of the Pakistani Muslims and look at the population of the white men, it's outrageous.
00:43:20.000 Pakistanis are raping 10, 20 times, 30 times more white women than white guys are.
00:43:30.000 Yes, and in America here, I always say the stat, and everyone always goes, where'd you get that stat?
00:43:35.000 It's a Pew Research stat, and it's out of American Muslim men between the ages of 18 to 25, 1 in 4, 25%, think suicide bombing is sometimes or often justified.
00:43:45.000 Now, that leaves a lot of wonderful young Muslim men, 75%, but that's a disproportionate number.
00:43:51.000 And they go, well, what about Timothy McVeigh?
00:43:53.000 Yes, I know, I gotcha.
00:43:56.000 What about Charlottesville?
00:43:57.000 That was, yes, yes, gotcha, gotcha, but there's a disproportionate number here.
00:44:04.000 You don't understand statistics.
00:44:08.000 Political correctness is the war on noticing patterns.
00:44:12.000 I think Steve Saylor said that and Patton Oswalt got in big trouble for repeating it.
00:44:15.000 We're running out of time here.
00:44:16.000 Let me throw a theory at you.
00:44:18.000 You and I are very similar.
00:44:19.000 You look like me with AIDS.
00:44:22.000 Do you think... At one time, no.
00:44:24.000 At one time you said I look like a turtle with AIDS.
00:44:28.000 Yes, and when I get AIDS, I will look like a turtle with AIDS.
00:44:31.000 That really hurt me.
00:44:33.000 You know, what you don't understand is how sensitive I am.
00:44:36.000 Do you have mirrors in your home?
00:44:38.000 Oh no, I took them out long ago.
00:44:40.000 Well, next time in a shopping mall, walk by the mirrors and you'll see a turtle with AIDS.
00:44:47.000 Well, what about this for a theory?
00:44:48.000 I think as an immigrant, you know, I came from England to Canada, Canada, I consider Ontario to Quebec, almost like going to a new country.
00:44:56.000 And then Quebec to New York.
00:44:58.000 So I see all these different cultures and you see what people's prejudices are.
00:45:02.000 And I think it gives you kind of a big perspective, a sort of a big picture look at things.
00:45:07.000 And, you know, in Quebec, it was all about English versus French, and it became fanatical, the language police.
00:45:12.000 Then you come to New York and it's all race, race, race.
00:45:15.000 Race doesn't come up in Quebec.
00:45:16.000 Black and white doesn't come up.
00:45:17.000 It's English versus French.
00:45:18.000 So then you go, you guys are still talking about race?
00:45:21.000 What, you're talking about slavery?
00:45:22.000 And it maybe makes you more callous and insensitive.
00:45:25.000 But I think, I just see with all this pandering, I see the bigotry of low expectations.
00:45:30.000 It actually seems kind of racist, the way that people jump on Jussie Smollett, his lies without any questioning.
00:45:36.000 And they conversely
00:45:38.000 Can't wait to pillory, you know, the Covington Catholic school kids.
00:45:42.000 So maybe it's because I'm an immigrant.
00:45:43.000 I'm so incredibly wise and and prescient.
00:45:47.000 Oh, I had Jussie called on day one.
00:45:50.000 Or it could be a genetic thing where Scots, after 700 years of being abused by the English, they have a bullshit detector where they're just like, oh, fuck that.
00:45:58.000 We're absolutely, no, do not.
00:46:00.000 So it could be Scottish genes.
00:46:02.000 What do you think it is more?
00:46:03.000 Well, OK, what I am, you've said, you know,
00:46:07.000 An expletive there.
00:46:08.000 And the BBC were trying to explain about the cannibals.
00:46:13.000 The white guy.
00:46:15.000 It was in their broadcasting room.
00:46:18.000 And he said it was like seeing a cannibal.
00:46:24.000 Why do you pronounce things so weird?
00:46:26.000 Cannibal?
00:46:27.000 It's a cannibal.
00:46:29.000 Cannibal?
00:46:29.000 What are we bowling with human heads now?
00:46:32.000 Well, that sounds right.
00:46:34.000 Cannibal.
00:46:36.000 What kind of drink is Maker's Mark?
00:46:40.000 It's, you know, it's an alcoholic drink.
00:46:42.000 Right.
00:46:43.000 It's a type of whiskey, though.
00:46:44.000 What's that called again?
00:46:46.000 Well, it's a rye whiskey.
00:46:47.000 Is it called bourbon?
00:46:49.000 It's called bourbon.
00:46:51.000 Oh, there we go.
00:46:53.000 Okay.
00:46:54.000 So this guy is on and on about, you know, these low-educated cannibals in the world, and he didn't realize that that's the vast majority of the English population.
00:47:09.000 We didn't all go to Eton or
00:47:13.000 Dad, I have to interrupt you.
00:47:15.000 You just jump into that with zero context.
00:47:16.000 People have no idea what you're talking about.
00:47:17.000 What my father is talking about is Tommy Robinson had got some hidden camera footage of the BBC, the elitists at the BBC, and they were talking about Tommy Robinson.
00:47:26.000 And Britain, if you don't know America, basically has, sort of has a middle class, but it really just has an upper class and a lower class.
00:47:32.000 And the upper class despises the lower class, and they have two very different accents.
00:47:37.000 And the upper-class accent is, hello, how are you, my darling?
00:47:39.000 And usually most people in the media class are BBC.
00:47:42.000 And so this woman was talking to a man who worked at the BBC.
00:47:46.000 And he was saying, you know, we'd love to get Tommy.
00:47:47.000 I'll pay you £5,000 if you can give me a sexual harassment case.
00:47:50.000 And she goes, oh, I could probably dig something up.
00:47:53.000 I work with him regularly.
00:47:54.000 He's an absolute savage.
00:47:55.000 And then he was taking the bait and he says you know the first time I heard that accent and he's talking about Tommy's like what are you doing?
00:48:01.000 Don't muck about!
00:48:02.000 The first time I heard that accent in the newsroom of the BBC I thought I was running into some sort of a Amazonian cannibal and Tommy got it all on tape
00:48:12.000 And my father, my senile father here, is trying to explain that the upper class in Britain don't realize that that accent, the upper class, is a tiny fraction and most people are like, what are you doing?
00:48:23.000 Is that what you're trying to say?
00:48:24.000 Okay, but I'll tell you a story.
00:48:25.000 I was living in England and my next-door neighbor, so we lived in single-family homes, so there was two families living in single-family homes, but their neighbor,
00:48:41.000 was living in a semi-detached, which is not, you know, not as good as a detached home.
00:48:48.000 And they complained to my wife
00:48:53.000 That they had a lower class accent that could bring down the value of our homes.
00:48:59.000 Yeah, it's like blacks moving into the neighborhood or something.
00:49:02.000 And that was a major problem.
00:49:05.000 And obviously they were, you know, really nice people.
00:49:10.000 But they were talking about accents.
00:49:15.000 And of course I have a very heavy Scottish accent, probably even more heavy.
00:49:19.000 Well, you've anglicised it now.
00:49:21.000 Your original accent was, you alright Jimmy?
00:49:23.000 Like getting your bite there, you know?
00:49:23.000 You alright?
00:49:25.000 And now like, hello, how are you my boy?
00:49:27.000 I'm trying to be posh.
00:49:28.000 Yes.
00:49:30.000 And get rid of my Scottish, you know, slum upbringing.
00:49:35.000 Right, but when you talk in your sleep, we hear, I don't want to go!
00:49:39.000 See you, you wee fucking shite old bar of your soul!
00:49:43.000 So it's difficult to get rid of.
00:49:46.000 So I said to them, well what about my accent?
00:49:49.000 How does that weigh in on this business about accent?
00:49:55.000 And he says, oh no, you have a Scottish accent, so we really don't place you.
00:50:02.000 You're invisible!
00:50:03.000 I'm beyond pale!
00:50:07.000 I don't count.
00:50:07.000 You're like an albino or the Elephant Man or something.
00:50:09.000 You can't be a race.
00:50:11.000 Well, but what's... Am I right?
00:50:13.000 Are we prescient?
00:50:14.000 Are we incredibly callous?
00:50:16.000 Are we racist bigots?
00:50:16.000 Are we insensitive?
00:50:18.000 Is it genetic?
00:50:20.000 Why are we so wise, Dad?
00:50:23.000 Well, I'm not sure you are.
00:50:24.000 Okay, why are you so wise?
00:50:30.000 Well, because I was brought up in very
00:50:34.000 Difficult circumstances.
00:50:36.000 And I saw... Well, no, no, that's not true.
00:50:40.000 I was brought up in, you know, I had a very, very easy life.
00:50:45.000 Very easy life.
00:50:46.000 You grew up in the slums of the Gorbals?
00:50:48.000 You had no shoes, for fuck's sakes?
00:50:49.000 No, no, but no one else had.
00:50:53.000 We didn't know we were poor.
00:50:55.000 You had no toys.
00:50:56.000 You had your dad's, from the paper mill, the cylinders that were used to change the paper, you thought those were toys.
00:51:03.000 Well, I didn't.
00:51:04.000 My brother did.
00:51:06.000 And that was a, you know, my brother invited some of his friends to come around and play with his toys.
00:51:12.000 And there was these wooden, you know, cylinders.
00:51:16.000 And his friend said, they're not toys.
00:51:21.000 And my brother was shattered.
00:51:23.000 He had no idea.
00:51:24.000 He didn't own toys.
00:51:25.000 He thought they were toys.
00:51:28.000 However, no, no.
00:51:31.000 I think I've been through the various stages of life.
00:51:36.000 I'm sorry to interrupt you, but your wife is behind you, shaking her head, and she's making gun gestures at the back of your head, trying to shoot you.
00:51:43.000 You don't think he grew up poor?
00:51:44.000 His toes look like he was a geisha girl.
00:51:47.000 They're mangled from wearing shoes that are too small.
00:51:49.000 He had a wonderful life.
00:51:51.000 But abject poverty!
00:51:52.000 He was the only successful kid among six, and he was the prince of the family.
00:51:59.000 Yes, he was the prince of the shitty poor family.
00:52:02.000 He also told that story, which really bugs me, that he said that it was a neighbor who said to me, um, how can you have so-and-so babysitting your child when she's from inner London?
00:52:21.000 Oh, you had a Cockney babysitter for me?
00:52:24.000 Yes.
00:52:25.000 I'm teaching at a college.
00:52:27.000 You said the story was about gentrification and people taking down the property value and it was about a babysitter?
00:52:32.000 Could you be farther off?
00:52:34.000 No, finish the story.
00:52:37.000 Did he not complain about the property values going down?
00:52:41.000 How would a babysitter lower the property value?
00:52:44.000 Did she live there?
00:52:45.000 They weren't babysitters, they were neighbours.
00:52:49.000 Wait, now you both sound wrong.
00:52:51.000 This is like working in an old folks home.
00:52:54.000 I don't know what's right anymore.
00:52:55.000 Either of you want a sponge bath?
00:52:56.000 You're giving him such an audience, honestly.
00:52:59.000 He talks so much crap from time to time.
00:53:02.000 You really gotta watch it.
00:53:04.000 Mom, I agree with you.
00:53:05.000 You have no idea how much positive feedback I get every time I have this senile old turtle with AIDS on the show.
00:53:12.000 Everyone goes, can we get more Jimmy, please?
00:53:15.000 I don't know.
00:53:15.000 I don't know why.
00:53:17.000 I don't know what you see in him, and I don't know what the press... I don't either!
00:53:24.000 Let me tell you, I'm going to tell you a story.
00:53:27.000 This is story 307B.
00:53:29.000 This, this is on, we had a major, we were staying in Glasgow at the time because Lorraine was looking after her brother, and her brother eventually passed away.
00:53:40.000 So this was on, we'd been married 50 years,
00:53:44.000 And we came back from Glasgow, and our anniversary was on the 30th of July.
00:53:56.000 And as we came back, I always wanted to have a 50th anniversary party.
00:54:03.000 And Lorraine was incredibly depressed, you know, with her brother passing away and what have you.
00:54:12.000 I just, I remember you, when you were going through that time, you weren't the most sympathetic guy.
00:54:17.000 I remember you saying to me on the phone, Ugh!
00:54:19.000 Everyone's supposed to be dying!
00:54:20.000 I could die tomorrow!
00:54:22.000 I wouldn't give a shit!
00:54:24.000 Okay, so that was my attitude.
00:54:27.000 So on our 50th anniversary, Lorraine said to me, I have wasted 50 fucking years with you!
00:54:38.000 How romantic!
00:54:41.000 Was that engraved on some sort of a ring or some jewellery?
00:54:45.000 What was that on a brooch?
00:54:48.000 Was that written in calligraphy?
00:54:49.000 It was of the moment.
00:54:52.000 That's how I felt at the moment.
00:54:55.000 Because I was so down.
00:54:56.000 And that's another story.
00:54:57.000 But he grew up in poverty and grime and all that shit.
00:55:03.000 I did too!
00:55:05.000 And you didn't have a dad, and your mum would go on vacations for weeks at a time.
00:55:10.000 My dad walked out on our family, and when I was 11, left me in charge of myself and my brother, and I decided I was going to go to university and screw them all.
00:55:26.000 Which I did.
00:55:28.000 Metaphorically.
00:55:29.000 So I have a lot of angst about that time.
00:55:34.000 Jim's family loved him to death.
00:55:36.000 He was the god.
00:55:39.000 Can you imagine?
00:55:40.000 Are you seeing a pattern here?
00:55:42.000 Maybe he is a god.
00:55:46.000 I mean, why fight it?
00:55:48.000 Why don't you just bask in his glory?
00:55:52.000 Alright, we gotta wrap it up.
00:55:55.000 Any last words, Mom?
00:55:57.000 No.
00:55:58.000 Well, thank you for listening to me for a change.
00:56:02.000 Usually you just listen to a silly old fart.
00:56:05.000 Well, he pays the bills.
00:56:08.000 Bye, folks.