Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 26, 2019


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #116 | I just flew back from Disney and boy are my arms skinny black wiener things with big white gloves on the end

Topics
arms thing all bodies are beautiful Universal's Thrift Shop and rides
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Buzz Lightyear Best Buy Trump Pamela Anderson Mickey Mouse Howard Stern Jimmy Fallon Buzz Aldrin Disney Gavin Lorem Miles Ryan Philip Seymour Hoffman George W. Bush A. B. People Michael Gonzalez Joanne Borgella Michelle Gomez Shirley Temple and 28 more
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #115 | Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Jimmy McInnes Get Off My Lawn Podcast #117 | Did you ever dream of a bit?

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour

Words per minute

176.23

Word count

10,647

Sentence count

1,073

Harmful content

Misogyny

45

sentences flagged

Toxicity

304

sentences flagged

Hate speech

61

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Brody Stevens' suicide is a reminder that comedians lead miserable lives, and the irony of their vocation is they get up on stage and tell you how to live your life, and everything you're doing wrong, and how stupid everyone is and how lame they love to preach. I've noticed this with millennials, they're always giving me advice about my career and how I should go back to compound, and CRTV was a bad move, and it's people who can't spell, and they can't even spell C-O-L-A-G-E, and totally uneducated people with no life experience can't wait to talk about it on YouTube, and I call it Millennial-splaining, because that's what they do on YouTube. I was just looking at an article a second ago that said, "All bodies are beautiful." Well, no, no they're not. Some are dying, some are dying. And I was talking to a woman who looked as turgid as a balloon. And I wanted to go up to her with a thumbtack and just goof her just to gooof her. I don't know what else to do with it, but I think it's a good idea. I mean, why are Americans fat? And why is everyone else fat, and why are all bodies not beautiful? And that's a question I get asked a lot by people who want to know why Americans aren't fat. You know when we're fat, right? Why are we're not all fat like other people? I'll tell you why that's not a good thing. Let me know what you think of it. Tweet me and let me know if you have a story about how you think about it or if you think we should be fat like that! Timestamps: 1:00 - How fat people are not beautiful. 2:30 - I don t have a body? 3:20 - I'm not fat, I just went to Disneyland or something like that 4:15 - I just flew back from a Transformers convention and boy are my arms tires 5: what are your arms?? 6:40 - My arms have to be tired 7:00 8:20 9:30 11:00 My arms are my hands have three fingers 12:30 My arms?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I just flew back from Disneyland and boy are my arms black, skinny, sausage things with big, huge, fat, white gloves on them that have three fingers. 0.79
00:00:14.000 That's not a very snappy pun, is it?
00:00:16.000 There's no more doing those.
00:00:19.000 Those have been done to death.
00:00:21.000 I don't mean like they're old news.
00:00:23.000 I mean, you're never gonna get better than, I just flew back from a Transformers convention and boy are my arms tires.
00:00:32.000 The other one, what was close to that was after Katrina, where George W. Bush got in a helicopter and he said, I just flew back from checking out the damage that was done in rural Louisiana and boy are my farms mired.
00:00:50.000 After that, the mic is dropped and it's time to get on with your life.
00:00:54.000 Some guy emailed me recently and he said, I just flew back from Pamela Anderson's house and boy are my barbs wired.
00:01:02.000 Ugh.
00:01:05.000 It's gotta be an arms thing.
00:01:07.000 Arms have to be tired.
00:01:08.000 You can't just have words that sound the same.
00:01:11.000 Although I guess Farms Mired has nothing to do with arms.
00:01:13.000 I can't explain why the Pamela Anderson one doesn't work, but it's just wrong.
00:01:17.000 Oh! 0.60
00:01:18.000 Speaking of comedians, Brody Stevens hanged himself recently. 0.85
00:01:22.000 And I thought it was a good opportunity to remind everyone that comedians lead miserable lives. 0.99
00:01:28.000 And the irony of their vocation is they get up on stage and they tell you how to live your life, and everything you're doing wrong, and how stupid everyone is, and how lame everything is. 0.99
00:01:40.000 They love to preach. 0.99
00:01:41.000 I've noticed this with millennials.
00:01:43.000 They're always giving me advice.
00:01:45.000 Especially about my career and how I have to go back to compound.
00:01:48.000 I shouldn't start my own thing and CRTV was a bad move and and it's people that can't spell.
00:01:56.000 It's people who are in college spelled C-O-L-L-A-G-E.
00:02:02.000 Totally uneducated people with no life experience can't wait and I called it millennial-splaining. 0.99
00:02:09.000 On YouTube, because that's what it is.
00:02:11.000 We really are doing great for confidence as far as young people go and just about everyone.
00:02:18.000 You know, this non-bullying experiment has not panned out very well.
00:02:22.000 I was just looking at an article a second ago that said, all bodies are perfect.
00:02:27.000 Well, no.
00:02:29.000 No, mine isn't.
00:02:31.000 And coming back, I didn't just go to Disneyland.
00:02:33.000 I went to Island Adventure, Universal Studios, Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, Spring Training with the Mets.
00:02:41.000 So three or four different resorts and then the baseball. 0.99
00:02:48.000 And boy, oh boy, are Americans fat. 0.79
00:02:51.000 No, all bodies are not beautiful. 0.98
00:02:53.000 Some are dying. 1.00
00:02:55.000 Fucking dying! 1.00
00:02:57.000 Even my son, my eldest son said, why is everyone here so fat? 1.00
00:03:01.000 At least in New York, they're just normal fat like dad. 0.70
00:03:06.000 And I was talking to Ryan about this a second ago.
00:03:08.000 Why are men never included in this?
00:03:10.000 All bodies are beautiful. 0.94
00:03:11.000 It's always fat dying women. 1.00
00:03:12.000 How about a big fat pig with a big beer belly holding his big gut? 0.99
00:03:18.000 With a Budweiser t-shirt on saying, all bodies are beautiful. 0.98
00:03:23.000 Because men know that they're not beautiful.
00:03:25.000 We know when we're fat. 1.00
00:03:27.000 We know when we're fat pigs. 0.97
00:03:28.000 I'm about 25 pounds overweight. 0.99
00:03:30.000 By the way, I'm an ugly guy, wrinkly. 0.84
00:03:33.000 I look like a hairless cat with tons of hair. 0.93
00:03:36.000 I'm like a hairless cat and a homeless man that had a baby.
00:03:40.000 And that baby's dying of obesity. 1.00
00:03:42.000 And I am David Beckham at these fucking water parks. 0.99
00:03:48.000 And I just, I wanted to go up to this one woman. 0.99
00:03:51.000 She looked as turgid as a balloon.
00:03:53.000 You know, when you do that, that thing where you squish your face and you go, I don't chubby.
00:03:57.000 That was her face.
00:03:59.000 She looked like she was hung upside down. 1.00
00:04:02.000 And then someone stuffed one of those bicycle pumps up her ass and just, just kept. 1.00
00:04:09.000 She was going to pop. 0.99
00:04:10.000 I wanted to go up to her with a thumbtack and just go poof. 0.90
00:04:15.000 And then watch her just go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 0.99
00:04:38.000 Your little boy.
00:04:40.000 Didn't we just have a model, a plus-size activist die of old age at 45 or something like that?
00:04:47.000 Look up her name.
00:04:49.000 It's child abuse. 1.00
00:04:51.000 I mean, if you were doing heroin and you had kids, people would go, like Philip Seymour Hoffman, what a fucking dick. 1.00
00:04:58.000 It's one thing to be a junkie, like my uncle Alan was a brutal alcoholic, but he never had kids. 1.00
00:05:03.000 And he drank himself to death without hurting anyone.
00:05:08.000 That's sad, but it's not that wrong.
00:05:11.000 I mean, I guess it's a sin.
00:05:12.000 What's her name?
00:05:13.000 Her name is, uh, Joanne Borgella.
00:05:17.000 Is she, like, black Hispanic? 1.00
00:05:19.000 She looks to be, yes. 0.61
00:05:21.000 She doesn't even look that fat. 0.99
00:05:22.000 Wait, it seems like that was, uh, oh, she lost her battle with breast cancer.
00:05:27.000 Dude.
00:05:28.000 That might not be her.
00:05:29.000 Yeah.
00:05:30.000 Oh, Maya Amber Davis.
00:05:31.000 Yeah, that sounds right.
00:05:33.000 We're not sitting here crapping on women who die of breast cancer. 0.98
00:05:38.000 Who happened to be fat? 1.00
00:05:39.000 Hey, fat bitch, no wonder you got breast cancer. 1.00
00:05:44.000 Yeah, that's not what we're saying. 1.00
00:05:46.000 No, you're taking a little kid's mother away.
00:05:48.000 How is that different?
00:05:49.000 Your addiction to food is the same as drinking yourself to death. 0.95
00:05:53.000 In fact, drunks live longer than these fatsos. 1.00
00:05:57.000 What is it, Ryan?
00:05:57.000 She died of undergoing a routine knee surgery.
00:06:02.000 Who, this other one you found?
00:06:03.000 Age of 36, yeah.
00:06:06.000 Well, that's not, that might be actually something with her immune system being down or her being, or why was her knee damaged in the first place?
00:06:14.000 Like a lot of junkies will die 10 years after they get clean from hep C or some sort of liver failure.
00:06:21.000 That looks like the right one.
00:06:23.000 Yeah.
00:06:23.000 Was that knee surgery?
00:06:25.000 No, this is a different check now.
00:06:26.000 She's body positivity check, Las Vegas.
00:06:30.000 She died in Las Vegas after a heart attack.
00:06:31.000 She was 49.
00:06:32.000 Yeah, that's what I was talking about.
00:06:33.000 Dude, when I ask you to look these up, you don't just blurt out knee surgery and breast cancer without looking at it.
00:06:39.000 I didn't know that there were so many that die from being fat.
00:06:42.000 I don't care.
00:06:42.000 Do your job.
00:06:43.000 Jesus, way to kill the rhythm of the fucking show. 1.00
00:06:47.000 Feel the beat of the rhythm of the show. 1.00
00:06:49.000 Ryan just wrecked it once again.
00:06:53.000 So... That's The Price is Right.
00:06:57.000 It's a failure horn.
00:07:00.000 Ah.
00:07:02.000 I think they played that, actually, at the Lion King.
00:07:05.000 That's the problem with having three kids.
00:07:06.000 So I have a girl who's almost 13, a boy who's 10, and then a little kid, little boy, who's six.
00:07:13.000 They all want different things.
00:07:14.000 The girl likes the animal kingdom, and we got this super fancy room where the back of your room looked out at a park, like a safari reserve, preserve, whatever you call them.
00:07:25.000 So there's a zebra there, some emus, addicts, ones with the curly horns, all these African animals. 1.00
00:07:31.000 It's African-themed.
00:07:34.000 But without the Ebola and the killing albinos for having magic blood and forcing Congolese children to rape their mothers, they'd left all that part out and it was a very sanitized version of Africa. 0.99
00:07:47.000 They don't eat their poo-poo! 0.99
00:07:49.000 Mm-hmm.
00:07:51.000 So my daughter loves all the animal stuff, and she thinks that's cool.
00:07:54.000 And when you go to Animal Kingdom, there's different continents.
00:07:58.000 There's Asia and Africa. 0.97
00:07:59.000 I thought it'd be funny if a black family was leaving the Africa section, and you could just go up to them and go, hey, you guys should go back to Africa. 0.99
00:08:11.000 It's really cool.
00:08:12.000 It's really cool. 0.99
00:08:14.000 What the fuck did you just say to me? 0.99
00:08:16.000 No, I mean that part of the park. 0.99
00:08:18.000 You just left it and I see you didn't go on that ride.
00:08:23.000 So it's kind of tricky as a parent making everyone happy.
00:08:25.000 And that's the only reason you go on vacation.
00:08:27.000 I'm happy to sit in an old man bar all day.
00:08:29.000 That's my idea of heaven.
00:08:31.000 But kids don't particularly enjoy that.
00:08:34.000 So you go on vacation to make your kids happy, but it's impossible to keep all three of them happy at once.
00:08:39.000 Like at spring training, my boy is the big Mets fan.
00:08:42.000 He's having the time of his life, and the other two are just staring at screens, even during the game.
00:08:46.000 They don't care about the game.
00:08:50.000 Oh my God, the heat was 90 degrees the first day.
00:08:53.000 And I decided not to get seats just so we could sit on the grass and catch balls, which is normally a good idea.
00:08:58.000 But Lord, I don't know how these Floridians survive that heat.
00:09:03.000 I'm so glad to be back in the cold.
00:09:06.000 It really boggles the mind, the South.
00:09:07.000 I just don't get it.
00:09:10.000 And the other thing too, like when we were in Alabama filing a suit against the Southern Poverty Law Center, which I highly recommend, you go to DefendGavin.com.
00:09:19.000 They say it too.
00:09:20.000 They don't go, ah, you get used to it. 0.99
00:09:22.000 They go, yeah, dude, it sucks. 0.96
00:09:25.000 It's really, really intense. 0.99
00:09:27.000 It's horrible.
00:09:28.000 It's sort of like, uh, when you complain about various problems with parenting, everyone has a solution, except when you say my daughter and my son, the ones that are similar, you just don't seem to get along very well.
00:09:39.000 And they always go, yeah, nothing you can do about that.
00:09:42.000 That sucks. 0.70
00:09:43.000 Doesn't get any better. 0.85
00:09:45.000 But, so all you can do on these vacations is sort of like make it fun for one kid while the other two suffer and just keep rotating that.
00:09:52.000 Like there's this Dr. Zeus park I took my five-year-old to.
00:09:56.000 It was so cool.
00:09:58.000 They had these rides, you get in these little pods.
00:10:00.000 This is in, I guess this is in Magic Kingdom.
00:10:03.000 Yeah, where there's no booze.
00:10:05.000 There's no magic, there's no booze in Disney.
00:10:09.000 Proper.
00:10:10.000 There's booze in other ones, like Epcot and Animal Kingdom, but not at the main one with the castle.
00:10:14.000 And I'll get to that in a second, because I had an epiphany about Disneyland.
00:10:17.000 Anyway, you get in these little pods, you know the things that go around and around, and they can also go up and down?
00:10:22.000 Like a merry-go-round meets a spaceship thingamajoodle?
00:10:26.000 So this one, there's a song that they play and they go, if you're in the two spot, two spot, then you better go up, up, up, and then they better go down if you're in the yellow one.
00:10:35.000 And you have to listen to the lyrics and you can control whether it goes up or down.
00:10:38.000 The kid can.
00:10:39.000 So you're trying to control this going up and down because you don't want to get blasted with water.
00:10:43.000 And it's not a crazy amount of water, but it's a normal amount.
00:10:48.000 And little Johnny B and I decided to ignore the song and just feel the vibes like Jedis.
00:10:55.000 And that didn't work.
00:10:56.000 We got hit with water.
00:10:57.000 There's a lot of upselling too.
00:10:59.000 I haven't been since I was a little kid.
00:11:02.000 All of these parks, Orlando, whatever, Universal Pictures, they all have like a ride for every seven stores.
00:11:11.000 Or maybe even more. 0.99
00:11:12.000 It's just a giant fucking mall. 1.00
00:11:14.000 Like you talk about exit through the gift shop, it is all one big gift shop. 1.00
00:11:18.000 The same crap every two feet. 0.97
00:11:21.000 Just store, it goes like this. 0.99
00:11:24.000 Store, store, store, store, store, restaurant, restaurant, store, store, ride, store, store, store, store.
00:11:31.000 And even the rides, when you exit the ride, you exit through the gift shop. 0.98
00:11:35.000 There's more crap. 0.99
00:11:36.000 And it's all the same crap. 1.00
00:11:38.000 T-shirts and 0.99
00:11:40.000 Mickey Mouse stuff. 0.98
00:11:42.000 The ears, and the Pluto hats, and the keychains, tons of keychains, just so much garbage. 0.75
00:11:48.000 I mean, you'd have to bring a shopping cart.
00:11:50.000 And I noticed one trick that Universal Pictures did, a scam, where you get on this ride that gets you wet,
00:11:58.000 But it's not.
00:11:58.000 So you go, oh, I'm okay with that.
00:12:00.000 I'll get a little mist.
00:12:01.000 Like Disney has one where you go on this big log and you hit the water hard.
00:12:05.000 Splash Mountain.
00:12:06.000 Yeah, Splash Mountain.
00:12:07.000 You get a little splashed.
00:12:08.000 It's aptly named.
00:12:10.000 But your shoes are fine.
00:12:11.000 And, you know, you put your stuff in a fanny pack, you're good to go.
00:12:15.000 But this one at Universal, I forget what it's called.
00:12:18.000 It's like the old Louisiana Swamp Jamboree.
00:12:22.000 And when you hit the waves, you get, just pour a bucket of water on yourself.
00:12:27.000 Like your shoes are drenched, your jeans are done, you're jorts. 0.99
00:12:32.000 And, you know, it's okay to have a wet t-shirt, especially when you have perfect tits like I do. 0.98
00:12:37.000 But, you know, wet shorts, walking around in the heat all day, it's chafe mania. 0.98
00:12:43.000 So, and usually they warn you about stuff like, hey, if you're pregnant, don't go on this ride. 0.99
00:12:47.000 They were strangely silent when I was getting on this ride.
00:12:51.000 And I look around the couple next to me and they look like they just had a bath.
00:12:55.000 With their clothes on and I go, this is, we're going to get a little more than splashed, aren't we? 0.99
00:13:00.000 So what they do is they fucking drench you without telling you. 0.94
00:13:03.000 And then you line up for these drying machines that are five bucks. 0.98
00:13:07.000 And obviously they don't dry you.
00:13:09.000 It takes 45 minutes for jeans in a dryer to get dry.
00:13:13.000 You're not going to have some hot air blasting at you.
00:13:16.000 It would have to be hot enough to kill you in order to dry your jeans.
00:13:20.000 And then they sell shorts and other stuff and flip-flops at the same place.
00:13:24.000 It's a scam.
00:13:25.000 It's a hustle. 1.00
00:13:28.000 So my bullshit detector caught them on that. 0.99
00:13:31.000 My bullshit detector, however, was wrong when we went to this karaoke bar, and I'd had a few, I have to admit, and I said, 1.00
00:13:39.000 Everyone was singing fucking perfectly. 0.99
00:13:44.000 And we weren't getting called up. 0.99
00:13:46.000 I put in Hurt So Good and it was a live band doing the songs.
00:13:50.000 You only had about 80 songs to choose from.
00:13:55.000 And I realized this is fake.
00:13:57.000 These singers are hired singers. 1.00
00:14:00.000 And so I start going, this is fake, this is bullshit. 1.00
00:14:04.000 I caught them just like I caught that wet ride. 0.99
00:14:07.000 And then I went to the front and I tried to stop people from coming in. 1.00
00:14:11.000 And I said, this is fake, this is bullshit, it's hired singers. 0.99
00:14:15.000 And people are like, please leave me alone, old man. 0.99
00:14:18.000 One woman goes, I've been chosen here before and I've sung songs.
00:14:22.000 And then we get kicked out and my wife goes, what's their motive to have fake singers? 1.00
00:14:29.000 How do they benefit from not letting people sing?
00:14:33.000 And I did not have a response. 0.99
00:14:35.000 And then she realized about an hour later, hey, asshole, we're in Orlando at Universal Studios right next to Disneyland. 0.99
00:14:45.000 All these people are singers. 0.99
00:14:47.000 There's performers who come here.
00:14:48.000 They want to be signed.
00:14:50.000 They're entertainers.
00:14:51.000 They probably are the Lion King later on.
00:14:53.000 And this is what Lion King drama club nerds do on their time off.
00:14:57.000 Of course, they're all amazing singers.
00:15:00.000 Whoops.
00:15:00.000 OK.
00:15:02.000 So I was wrong on that one.
00:15:06.000 But here's, let me tell you, Disney, I went on Disney Cruise a few years ago and hated its guts and I wrote about it on a site, I'm not sure the site's still up, I tried to start a daddy blog that failed called mydadhomies.com or .blogspot or something, and I wrote 10 reasons not to go on a Disney Cruise. 0.97
00:15:24.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:15:25.000 There's certain groups you just can't fuck with online. 1.00
00:15:29.000 Asians, 0.98
00:15:30.000 I did an article called tackling Asian privilege and I just took an article about white privilege and I did a edit find replace and changed white to Asian and it read perfectly. 0.98
00:15:42.000 Instead of anyone getting that joke I just gotten so much shit from Asians and they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. 1.00
00:15:48.000 Maybe they're very good at computers or something because I got bombarded. 0.99
00:15:53.000 And the other group is Disney people and I didn't understand
00:15:59.000 Why they were so mad.
00:16:00.000 Why do you care if I don't like your cruise?
00:16:02.000 And I noticed at Disneyland, I didn't feel a kinship with these people.
00:16:08.000 And I couldn't quite figure it out.
00:16:09.000 One thing they do that drives me nuts, non-New Yorkers bump into you and they don't say anything. 1.00
00:16:14.000 Now, we've been trained by crackheads to be incredibly polite, because we don't want to set anyone off, because they'll stab you or go insane, wreck your life.
00:16:23.000 So every time a New Yorker bumps into someone, they hold them and go, oh, sorry, I'm really sorry about that, you okay?
00:16:29.000 Sorry about that, really sorry.
00:16:31.000 But Midwesterners just plow right through you. 1.00
00:16:33.000 They don't even know they hit you.
00:16:35.000 And it's very alarming as a New Yorker to have a potential crackhead at Disneyland go careening into you and then just keep walking.
00:16:42.000 They're sort of like Japanese people at water parks in Tokyo where they're all shoulder to shoulder and they don't seem to mind because they're all cool with each other.
00:16:53.000 So here's the deal with Disney.
00:16:56.000 First of all, genetically, they're Germans. 0.98
00:17:01.000 You have to understand that, yes, there was a bunch of Italians at Ellis Island.
00:17:05.000 Yes, some Jews came in after World War II.
00:17:08.000 Yes, we had a wave of Scotch-Irish and the gangs in New York, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 0.99
00:17:13.000 Lewis and Clark went west.
00:17:14.000 Sure, heard it a million times.
00:17:17.000 If you really look at the bulk of America and you ignore the coast, it's a German country. 0.84
00:17:24.000 Germans made this country. 1.00
00:17:26.000 Yes, the Catskills are full of Scots. 1.00
00:17:28.000 That's just New York.
00:17:30.000 The bulk of America is German. 0.90
00:17:33.000 And Germans are very patient and very stoic. 1.00
00:17:38.000 And the ones that came here were very Christian.
00:17:42.000 So, I'm not saying all the people that love Disneyland are German, but the foundations of it, even the castles that Walt Disney chose, those were Austrian castles, the foundations of it are based on the German ethos.
00:17:56.000 So you are either, if you're a Disney person, you're either the descendant of the original Germans that founded America, or you identify with that culture because you're a different type of Christian Puritan.
00:18:09.000 And they love that Disney has kept it pure and all their characters are based on Christian values and all the princesses, they get married in the end and there's no swearing and there's no booze at the Disney place.
00:18:22.000 And I respect that.
00:18:24.000 And I get why you were so mad at me, Disney people, for saying that the Disney cruise sucked.
00:18:30.000 They don't actually love Mickey Mouse.
00:18:33.000 They just love the idea of purity.
00:18:35.000 They hate Howard Stern, is what I'm saying.
00:18:38.000 Everything that you hear on Howard Stern is the antithesis of the Disney experience.
00:18:45.000 And that's why they love it so much.
00:18:46.000 That's why they go back every year.
00:18:48.000 They're dreaming of an America that was pre-porn 1.00
00:18:52.000 Pre-fuck and shit on the radio. 1.00
00:18:56.000 Pre-kids talking about trans. 1.00
00:18:58.000 They want to make America great again.
00:19:02.000 Now, I respect that very much.
00:19:04.000 I like the idea of more families.
00:19:06.000 I do think that we've gone down a dark path.
00:19:09.000 Problem is, I'm from that dark path.
00:19:12.000 Like, I'm a Gigi Allen guy.
00:19:15.000 I lost 12 friends to heroin before Oxy came around.
00:19:18.000 I'm not saying that's good, and I don't wish that disgusting culture on anyone else, but that's my culture. 0.99
00:19:24.000 I'm a gross pig. 0.99
00:19:25.000 I'm covered in tattoos. 0.97
00:19:26.000 And my angle to the family thing is, hey, partiers who have done 8-ball after 8-ball and puked on themselves on a regular basis, let's style it in a bit and maybe get over the party thing and put a ring on it. 0.99
00:19:42.000 So I'm more of like a missionary for the scumbags, but I'm more comfortable in scumbag land than I am with these fucking normal people. 0.99
00:19:52.000 God, they're square. 1.00
00:19:53.000 I'm sorry, but I just, I like animosity.
00:19:58.000 Maybe that's why I live in New York City.
00:19:59.000 I like bad.
00:20:01.000 You know, Jehovah's Witness have a heaven where everyone's good.
00:20:05.000 Everyone's 22 and there's no animosity.
00:20:07.000 Like if you can go up to a lion and just go for a ride on it.
00:20:10.000 I don't want to go up to a lion and go for a ride on it.
00:20:12.000 I like that lions are vicious.
00:20:14.000 That's part of their appeal.
00:20:15.000 It's like boxing.
00:20:17.000 I asked, I've told you this story a hundred times, but I asked a Jehovah's Witness, is there boxing in your heaven? 1.00
00:20:22.000 And they said, only if there was no animosity.
00:20:24.000 Well, you shake hands or you pump fists after you're done.
00:20:28.000 You touch gloves.
00:20:29.000 But in the ring, one of the best ways to survive is to say, this guy's taking food out of my kid's mouth. 0.68
00:20:35.000 This guy's trying to kill me. 1.00
00:20:36.000 I have to kill him first. 1.00
00:20:37.000 There has to be animosity. 1.00
00:20:39.000 I swear at my sparring partner. 1.00
00:20:42.000 Now, I hug him at the end, but I say, motherfucker, quietly to myself. 1.00
00:20:46.000 I hate him when I'm fighting him. 1.00
00:20:49.000 Just for that short amount of time. 0.99
00:20:50.000 Sort of like sex. 1.00
00:20:51.000 You're like, you like that, you fucking whore. 1.00
00:20:53.000 Stupid fucking whore. 1.00
00:20:55.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:56.000 And then the second you're done, you're like, I love you.
00:20:58.000 Who did this to you?
00:20:58.000 Oh my God.
00:20:59.000 The bad man was here.
00:21:00.000 I believe it's called role-playing in the world of sexual discourse.
00:21:06.000 Half of me just wanted, I don't know, I'm not, I'm sorry.
00:21:09.000 I apologize to Disney people, but I'm not pure.
00:21:14.000 Like there was a scene where we were in the monkey section, and it was, you know, they were behind that big thing of glass, like a foot of glass, and they're bored.
00:21:24.000 They're very intelligent animals, as you know.
00:21:27.000 And to put them in that big glass box after a while, they start getting kind of crazy.
00:21:31.000 Like they'll eat their barf sometimes just for fun.
00:21:35.000 And as you would, I'm sure people in prison sometimes just like barf in their hand and then eat it again.
00:21:40.000 I remember one time we were driving from San Francisco to Montreal, me and Derek Beckles, and we got so bored, we just ate some soap.
00:21:50.000 We go, let's try eating soap.
00:21:52.000 And here's the thing about eating soap.
00:21:55.000 It kills.
00:21:57.000 Cause you don't realize you have a million little cuts in your mouth, like microscopic cuts.
00:22:02.000 And when you bite into soap, it gets into all those.
00:22:04.000 And next thing you know, you've got like nine pain points in your mouth.
00:22:08.000 It's really gross.
00:22:10.000 But, uh, 0.64
00:22:12.000 So the chimp is staring at everyone and then he jumps and hits the window as a boo to everyone. 1.00
00:22:19.000 And then they all go, oh my, he's feisty.
00:22:25.000 And I just, I don't know, I wanted the glass to shatter for the chimp to break free. 1.00
00:22:32.000 And chimps, the first thing they do is they bite off your heels and your fingers and your groin. 1.00
00:22:38.000 And then eventually they'll get to eating your face off. 0.87
00:22:41.000 So it would just go from like, oh, their smug arrogance would be replaced with abject horror as people died and were maimed and women had their faces eaten off.
00:22:55.000 I'm not proud of that, but around such pure golden people, I just start getting evil. 1.00
00:23:03.000 Yeah.
00:23:07.000 Universal Studios has kind of a cool concept going.
00:23:11.000 What they do is they sit you in a chair and they just rattle the chair around and maybe spritz you with some water and then make it lean forward and lean backwards and then the screen around you is totally insane.
00:23:21.000 There was a surprisingly fun ride called Jimmy Fallon Takes New York or something like that.
00:23:27.000 And you start out in Jimmy Fallon's studio on a giant, you're in a car and he's in his car and you drive through the building, smash out the windows and you're driving through New York and it totally feels like you're driving through New York.
00:23:38.000 It's really fun.
00:23:39.000 Then you go up to the moon and you come back down again.
00:23:43.000 It was awesome.
00:23:47.000 But on that ride,
00:23:50.000 Sorry, so that was the Jimmy Fallon one, then there's a Fast and Furious one. 0.90
00:23:54.000 And this horrible racist was in front of me in the lineup, and he was just like, look at these cars. 0.98
00:24:01.000 Because you start out looking at all these beautiful old cars from the 50s and 60s and 70s, back when cars, before cars were all fucking cough drops. 0.97
00:24:09.000 The rental car we had in Florida, I kept losing it because it looked exactly like every other car.
00:24:14.000 SUVs look like compact cars.
00:24:17.000 You can't even tell the difference between a big car and a small car anymore.
00:24:22.000 So anyway, you're in the lobby and you're seeing all these beautiful cars, and this old racist Brooklyn guy's in front of me, he's like, look at all these cars made by white men.
00:24:30.000 No one acknowledges that! 0.98
00:24:32.000 This old, this old MG sports car and this Ford Galaxy, this Chrysler LeBaron, all these beautiful right edges, all these race cars from back in the day, original Porsche, vintage Porsche, look at this shit. 0.99
00:24:46.000 All white guys. 0.97
00:24:47.000 And then we get up there, closer to the front, 1.00
00:24:50.000 And we got a black guy driving them and Michelle Gonzalez with that stupid pout. 1.00
00:24:57.000 And then we got the rock what's he, Polynesian? 1.00
00:25:00.000 And we got fucking Ludacris. 0.99
00:25:02.000 All these guys pretending to drive these cars in this fucking movie, Fast and Furious. 1.00
00:25:08.000 And looking all tough. 0.99
00:25:09.000 What's her name? 1.00
00:25:09.000 Michelle Gomez with that stupid pout. 1.00
00:25:11.000 She was in SWAT. 1.00
00:25:13.000 And I'm thinking, not only did white guys make these cars, but they made the movie, and the technology, and the film, and the editing, and Premiere, and the Macs, and all the different technology to make it look like these black people were totally dominating these totally awesome cars. 0.92
00:25:31.000 Meanwhile, who drives sports cars?
00:25:34.000 Who's at NASCAR?
00:25:35.000 It's a white dude thing. 0.99
00:25:37.000 So it's like we gotta take white dude technology, white dude vehicles, and then spend all of this time and energy making it look like non-white males are fucking part of that culture. 0.96
00:25:52.000 And then, you know, some of these, this black guy like Tyrese, he's, some girl's going to see Fast and Furious, start dating him, maybe have a kid with him. 0.97
00:25:59.000 He's not going to stick around. 1.00
00:26:01.000 So we're using all this white guy stuff to fuck over white guys. 1.00
00:26:04.000 It pisses me off. 1.00
00:26:05.000 And I was, I was behind him and I leaned forward and I said, sir, sir, I'm here with my family and, uh, you're being kind of loud and I don't appreciate your fucking bigotry. 0.99
00:26:18.000 And my wife said, Gavin, there's no one there. 0.98
00:26:26.000 You know?
00:26:27.000 He's in your head. 1.00
00:26:29.000 And I said, get out of my head, you disgusting bigot. 1.00
00:26:34.000 And he did. 1.00
00:26:36.000 He got out of my head, and we will never see him again.
00:26:39.000 Thank God.
00:26:41.000 That guy wasn't making any good points at all.
00:26:43.000 Nope. 0.97
00:26:44.000 He was gross. 1.00
00:26:45.000 He was a loser. 0.99
00:26:47.000 I took some notes here, so we'll go through them quickly. 0.99
00:26:55.000 Oh yeah, I was wearing all Mets gear, like Mets jacket, Mets t-shirt, Mets hat, Mets socks, everything.
00:27:03.000 Orange and blue.
00:27:04.000 And I was, I did it on the plane.
00:27:06.000 And I usually wear a suit.
00:27:09.000 And I noticed people treat, now I don't know what they see me as.
00:27:15.000 I look kind of funny, right, with the big beard.
00:27:17.000 I'm not sure if they see me as working class or retarded.
00:27:21.000 But they're not nice to either group.
00:27:23.000 And I have a friend in my wife's tribe.
00:27:25.000 You know, Indians look kind of Asian.
00:27:28.000 And she had a bowl cut.
00:27:29.000 She was kind of chubby.
00:27:31.000 And she was taking swimming lessons.
00:27:34.000 And she was very quiet.
00:27:35.000 And she was telling my mom this.
00:27:36.000 My mom, whoops. 1.00
00:27:38.000 Yikes.
00:27:38.000 That's really bad.
00:27:39.000 Uh-oh.
00:27:40.000 My wife.
00:27:40.000 Fraud.
00:27:41.000 Freud.
00:27:42.000 Fraudian slip.
00:27:44.000 That's a proper Freudian slip too.
00:27:46.000 Yeah, that's right out of the dictionary.
00:27:50.000 And she was telling my wife this that, so she has the eyes, the bowl cut, her bathing suit was disintegrating because she left it chlorine, chlorinated and forgot to dry it.
00:28:01.000 So it had like holes in it.
00:28:03.000 The chlorine was eating it.
00:28:05.000 She doesn't talk much.
00:28:06.000 And then she went to grab a towel and the instructor slapped her hand and said, we get towels when we're out by the pool. 1.00
00:28:15.000 Whoa.
00:28:15.000 And she realized, wait a minute.
00:28:18.000 My swimming instructor thinks I have Down syndrome.
00:28:22.000 A. B. People don't treat people with Down syndrome very well.
00:28:26.000 Interesting.
00:28:27.000 As a spy in the mentally handicapped community, I'm getting abused.
00:28:32.000 Now, I think people see me the same way when I wear my Mets gear.
00:28:37.000 Because mentally handicapped people, they tend to really go overboard in sports. 1.00
00:28:41.000 And I think a disproportionate number of them like the Mets.
00:28:44.000 For example, Bobo.
00:28:46.000 He's not your average bear.
00:28:48.000 He doesn't have Down syndrome, but he's unusual.
00:28:53.000 And he's a big Mets man.
00:28:55.000 So it's sort of like when I said to Fleckus, I go, dude, you look like a Mets fan.
00:28:59.000 Why do you love the Yankees?
00:29:00.000 And he said to me, not kidding.
00:29:02.000 This is the crucial part of this story.
00:29:04.000 Not kidding.
00:29:06.000 He said, hmm, let's see. 0.82
00:29:08.000 I guess because I'm not a retard and I'm not a Jew.
00:29:13.000 He didn't mean that in a negative way.
00:29:16.000 He just meant like a disproportionate number of Mets fans are Jewish, and that's true. 1.00
00:29:21.000 And I don't know if he meant retard like you'd have to be a dummy to like the Mets because they're so bad, or a disproportionate number of mentally handicapped people like the Mets. 1.00
00:29:35.000 I'm not sure what it is. 0.98
00:29:36.000 It's the colors.
00:29:37.000 It's the colors.
00:29:38.000 It's fun colors.
00:29:39.000 It's cartoonish.
00:29:40.000 Mr. Met.
00:29:41.000 Yeah, Mr. Mets fun.
00:29:43.000 You're right.
00:29:43.000 It's more, it's more simple friendly.
00:29:46.000 Like the Yankees are kind of evil with their short haircuts and their, you can't have a beard and the black and the blue, the two syllables, just Mets one.
00:29:59.000 So I noticed that, uh,
00:30:01.000 I don't know, and I fight back.
00:30:04.000 Another trip, I refused to let the woman in front of me put her seat back, and I do that often. 1.00
00:30:10.000 I put my knees up and pretend I'm asleep.
00:30:12.000 When I have my suit on, people go, uh-oh, the businessman needs to nap.
00:30:16.000 I've noticed this too when I drive a nice car.
00:30:18.000 If I'm driving a Jaguar or a Range Rover, people let me in more. 0.71
00:30:21.000 But if I'm borrowing, say, your shitty car, people don't let me in. 0.99
00:30:25.000 They're like, I'm not letting this fucking poor person in front of me. 0.99
00:30:29.000 And maybe they think, well, let the businessman sleep. 0.99
00:30:31.000 He's generating money for the economy.
00:30:33.000 But anyway, when I'm dressed like Bobo in my Mets gear, this woman is hammering, trying to get the seat back, and I'm not budging. 0.99
00:30:40.000 And then the flight attendant says to her, well, do you want to sit somewhere else?
00:30:45.000 He's not waking up.
00:30:46.000 She goes, well, wake him up.
00:30:47.000 I can't put my seat back.
00:30:49.000 And I'm just like... Fakest snoring ever.
00:30:57.000 And then eventually I think, you know what?
00:30:59.000 Me faking it, I'm asleep is more inconvenient than her putting her seat back.
00:31:05.000 So I wake up and I go, I'm going to try a new thing.
00:31:08.000 Hi, I'm someone who doesn't let you put your seat back.
00:31:11.000 So I'm awake and she's trying to put her seat back.
00:31:13.000 And then her brother-in-law is sitting next to her on the other side of the aisle.
00:31:18.000 And he leans back to me.
00:31:19.000 And I noticed he was watching X-Men, by the way, earlier, and he said, uh, she's trying to put her seat back.
00:31:25.000 And I go, I know.
00:31:27.000 And he goes, well, she can't put it back when your knees are up.
00:31:29.000 And I go, that's exactly where my knees are up.
00:31:31.000 And he goes, well, she, she wants to put her seat back.
00:31:34.000 And I go, you said that.
00:31:35.000 And then he goes, let her put her seat back. 0.95
00:31:38.000 Now he's bullying the retard at this point. 1.00
00:31:42.000 And I said, no. 0.99
00:31:44.000 And then he did the gayest thing ever. 0.99
00:31:48.000 He gave me the evil eye. 0.97
00:31:50.000 Ooh, we're the same age by the way. 0.96
00:31:54.000 We're both fat men with beards and mustaches.
00:31:57.000 And he's giving me this like squinty, like you just messed with the wrong guy.
00:32:03.000 And so I laugh because I'm not a special person.
00:32:08.000 No offense to the special kids out there, but like a special person probably would have went, okay, please don't hurt me.
00:32:14.000 But I just laughed.
00:32:16.000 I go, Ooh, what do you got there?
00:32:17.000 The hairy eyeball.
00:32:18.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:32:20.000 And then he, he starts shaking his head like, don't fuck with me. 1.00
00:32:23.000 And I said, go back to your superhero movies, old man. 1.00
00:32:27.000 And, uh, uh,
00:32:30.000 I think he was shocked that someone who was mentally handicapped was standing up for himself.
00:32:35.000 So I think there are some isms going on here.
00:32:38.000 We're told racism and sexism and transphobia abound.
00:32:42.000 I deny all those, but there may be some real prejudice to the mentally handicapped when no one else is looking.
00:32:49.000 They get told to put their knees down and to not grab a towel.
00:32:53.000 Isn't it all bullying?
00:32:54.000 It comes down to bullying, right?
00:32:56.000 If there's stronger women, there's weaker women. 1.00
00:32:58.000 If you bully weaker women, you're just a bully.
00:33:00.000 It's not sexist.
00:33:01.000 It's just mean.
00:33:02.000 Yeah.
00:33:03.000 Yeah, but it seems like the weaker you are, the more abuse you take.
00:33:06.000 Oh yeah, I do notice that, yes.
00:33:11.000 Okay, Noah Syndergaard's no longer Thorgis.
00:33:14.000 He looks like he's in a funk metal band.
00:33:15.000 He shaved the side of his head and has a goatee now.
00:33:18.000 He looks like he's in the band Infectious Groove.
00:33:20.000 That's boring.
00:33:22.000 I noticed that there was a lot of Spanish.
00:33:25.000 I guess, like, I've been on fancy vacations where you rent a house and stuff.
00:33:29.000 That's not really my people either.
00:33:31.000 Plus, at that Jamaican resort we went to, the Maker's Mark was $17. $17.
00:33:39.000 When you have a drink, no matter how much you like it, and it's 17 bucks, it turns to pee in your mouth. 0.69
00:33:45.000 It becomes disgusting.
00:33:47.000 So I don't, I feel more comfortable around the more working, not working class, but lower middle class vacations.
00:33:55.000 And it's amazing when you're with your people, you see more tattoos, and this isn't so much Disney as it is Universal Studios.
00:34:02.000 I would say 70% of the languages I heard this trip were Spanish, outside of the fancy Disney place.
00:34:08.000 So at Universal Studios, 70% Spanish.
00:34:10.000 Also heard a lot of Quebecois, though.
00:34:13.000 And East London.
00:34:14.000 You what, mate?
00:34:15.000 So it was a bunch of soccer hooligans.
00:34:18.000 Frogs. 0.80
00:34:19.000 Pepsis, as we call them up in Quebec.
00:34:21.000 And Mexicans. 0.99
00:34:23.000 So apparently the undocumented aren't as poor as we thought.
00:34:28.000 They're definitely dominating expensive holiday resorts.
00:34:31.000 But one thing that pissed me off, by the way, we went to the Hall of Presidents and it's all these animatronic guys.
00:34:38.000 Every single president, all 45, including Trump, are animatronic.
00:34:41.000 And they come out and they have their little weird... They're actually really fluid, the way they move.
00:34:46.000 It's really impressive.
00:34:47.000 And they're like, hello, I'm Abe Lincoln and I, uh, I kind of said I wanted to free the slaves, but I really just wanted to maintain the union.
00:34:54.000 And I said, if I could maintain the union without freeing one slave, I would do it. 0.98
00:34:58.000 I think blacks are inferior. 1.00
00:35:00.000 Um, no, he didn't say that. 0.99
00:35:02.000 Although he has said all that.
00:35:04.000 And Trump is out there, and I was ready to pounce on anyone who booed.
00:35:09.000 But the woman who introduced the Hall of Presidents was the only Spanish-speaking. 0.98
00:35:13.000 They had about six people working there, all dressed up in 18th century garb.
00:35:17.000 And she was the only one who couldn't speak English very well, and they chose her to announce that it's time to go in.
00:35:24.000 And that just pissed me off.
00:35:25.000 Like, hello, welcome!
00:35:27.000 We are here to have a nice day.
00:35:29.000 The United States.
00:35:31.000 No, they do the thing that Glaswegians do where they're too lazy to do the last consonants. 1.00
00:35:36.000 So, G, D, welcome to the Hall of President for the United States.
00:35:41.000 United States.
00:35:43.000 There's T's all over that word.
00:35:45.000 Please, ma'am, please.
00:35:47.000 Why did they choose her to do that? 0.99
00:35:49.000 Is it a little fuck you? 1.00
00:35:51.000 I don't know what was going on there, but it pissed me off. 1.00
00:35:52.000 It's sort of like my Uber.
00:35:55.000 I got an Uber to pick me up to take us to the airport, and he was Chinese, and he texted me, okay, what I assume said, okay, I'm here, in Mandarin, like with Chinese characters.
00:36:09.000 This is in the Uber app!
00:36:11.000 So we've gone from saying, all right, you can speak Spanish and all that, and all right, I can handle it if you say, aqui, or whatever it is, but now I'm seeing Chinese characters within the Uber app?
00:36:23.000 And I tried to bring that up to him and I said, what's going on there?
00:36:25.000 You texted me in Mandarin.
00:36:28.000 And I said, as opposed to Roman numerals, do you understand? 0.99
00:36:37.000 He didn't speak one fucking word of English. 0.98
00:36:40.000 Imagine us going to Tokyo and being cab drivers and just texting people. 0.99
00:36:43.000 Hey Chinaman, I'm here.
00:36:45.000 In English.
00:36:47.000 We would never get that job.
00:36:49.000 Right.
00:36:51.000 And then he's, you'll give me five star.
00:36:53.000 You said that?
00:36:54.000 Yeah.
00:36:54.000 Wow.
00:36:55.000 And then I just kept thinking of fancier ways to tell him, like I would say, uh, I said to him, uh, I would be remiss if I didn't explain to you that one, it behooves one to have the language at their disposal.
00:37:10.000 Do you follow me?
00:37:13.000 And you just... extra complicated words to further lose him?
00:37:18.000 Yes.
00:37:19.000 Yeah, that's funny.
00:37:20.000 I covered a lot of these, I'm noticing with my notes.
00:37:22.000 Wait, did somebody... Did anybody boo Trump?
00:37:26.000 No, but there was a controversy last year, where some homosexual, I believe, got up and started yelling, like, not our president! 1.00
00:37:35.000 Or something, at a fucking robot. 1.00
00:37:37.000 Behave yourself, you fucking... 1.00
00:37:39.000 The robot has no feelings. 1.00
00:37:41.000 Trump is in DC.
00:37:44.000 It's like when they did that big dancing thing in front of Mike Pence's house when he wasn't there.
00:37:48.000 We're gonna dance! 0.98
00:37:49.000 We don't care if you hate gays! 1.00
00:37:51.000 Uh, I don't hate gays and I'm not there. 0.96
00:37:53.000 And even if I did hate gays, who's against dancing?
00:37:56.000 What is this, Footloose? 0.98
00:37:58.000 What are you doing?
00:37:59.000 Get off! 0.99
00:38:00.000 Get off my street! 0.91
00:38:01.000 Stop dancing!
00:38:05.000 Um, oh my God, roller.
00:38:07.000 Okay, I've got some more notes here.
00:38:09.000 Roller coasters are 15% faster than you can handle.
00:38:14.000 Like you're, there's this one called the Hulk at Universal Studios and you're, you go, like you're in this big, well, roller coaster, fuck, but you're in this big dome where they're pretending that they're heating you up with radiation and the roller coaster itself is becoming the Hulk and it's like, and they go, uh-oh, system into overdrive, we can't control it, and then it goes.
00:38:36.000 And it just launches you like a cannon. 0.87
00:38:38.000 And you go, I got this.
00:38:39.000 I got this.
00:38:40.000 I can handle this.
00:38:41.000 And then it keeps going, and you go, I cannot handle this part.
00:38:45.000 And so every roller coaster I went on, I would be like, this is cool.
00:38:49.000 I can yell.
00:38:50.000 And then, all right, I'm out.
00:38:51.000 Like, I can't.
00:38:52.000 There's no way I could ever be an F-14 fighter jet pilot. 0.99
00:38:56.000 I don't know how the fuck those guys just go do loop-de-loops and whip around. 0.99
00:39:02.000 It's 15% more than you can handle. 0.99
00:39:05.000 90% of the roller coaster is fine.
00:39:07.000 You're just like, whoa, ooh.
00:39:09.000 But there's that one part where you go, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. 0.99
00:39:13.000 Straight down and holy shit. 0.98
00:39:15.000 Like I'm just, I'm sitting there going, I can't handle this. 0.98
00:39:19.000 I brought Johnny, my youngest, on a water slide that was too much for him. 0.92
00:39:23.000 I regretted it immediately because it's no fun scaring the living shit out of a little baby. 0.97
00:39:28.000 But I go, the secret, Johnny, is you've got to scream. 0.99
00:39:30.000 You've got to scream.
00:39:31.000 And as I just see this look of intense terror in his face, and he's going, why?
00:39:36.000 Why?
00:39:36.000 Why?
00:39:36.000 And then he said,
00:39:41.000 Why must I live?
00:39:45.000 That's profound.
00:39:47.000 Yeah, it was pretty deep.
00:39:48.000 Really pulled wisdom out of him.
00:39:50.000 He had some great quotes.
00:39:51.000 I think I said them on the other podcast.
00:39:52.000 If my eyeballs had mouths, they would be yelling a lot.
00:40:02.000 All right.
00:40:03.000 Never do this without a fast pass.
00:40:05.000 You have to.
00:40:06.000 Yeah.
00:40:07.000 They give you three fast passes a day just with your ticket.
00:40:09.000 Oh, yeah?
00:40:10.000 So just, that's all you need.
00:40:11.000 Three rides is plenty.
00:40:12.000 Oh, so for, okay, for three rides, gotcha.
00:40:14.000 That's pretty cool.
00:40:17.000 Did you go on any rides by yourself because you wanted to go on the ride and there wasn't anybody?
00:40:21.000 No, my eldest boy can handle absolutely anything, so if I was going to go on a fast ride, I would go with him.
00:40:25.000 Nice.
00:40:29.000 God, this, I don't know why I wrote this down, but there's this one woman, like, these people who are not New Yorkers, they don't get 1.00
00:40:36.000 How to be a normal person.
00:40:38.000 Like they don't get crowded scenarios.
00:40:40.000 They freak out when the bus is late.
00:40:42.000 This one woman, I get on the bus and she's sitting on the floor, she's all sweaty, her bangs are matted to her head, and she's sitting on the floor of the bus. 1.00
00:40:51.000 And her daughter, her three-year-old daughter's asleep.
00:40:53.000 And I go, I can't get past her.
00:40:56.000 I want to get past her because there's seats behind her. 0.96
00:40:58.000 And she goes, she needed to lie down.
00:41:01.000 No, she doesn't.
00:41:02.000 And I go, I don't understand why these guys haven't offered you their seat.
00:41:07.000 And I'm looking at these fat men just sitting down while this woman sits on the floor. 0.95
00:41:11.000 And she goes, oh, they offered, they offered.
00:41:13.000 I have to be here.
00:41:15.000 No, that's not how it works.
00:41:16.000 If you sat on the floor in New York with a subway because your daughter wanted to lie down, people just trample you to death.
00:41:23.000 That's not acceptable behavior.
00:41:27.000 Oh yeah, and I was regretting pulling out these notes because it kills the flow, but I am glad that I pulled them out because there are some important things I wrote down here.
00:41:40.000 One, people and rascals.
00:41:43.000 First of all, these companion dogs are getting out of control, and when I'm king of the world, I'm going to make it legal to shoot companion dogs.
00:41:50.000 What are they called?
00:41:52.000 That's not companion dogs.
00:41:53.000 Is it not companion dogs?
00:41:54.000 No, it's like...
00:41:56.000 Some sort of animal, like they bring them on planes and stuff.
00:42:00.000 And if you're blind and you got a German Shepherd, well, God bless your cotton socks. 0.94
00:42:04.000 Congratulations on getting a pair of eyes.
00:42:07.000 No one has a problem with you. 1.00
00:42:09.000 But that is a fraction of 1% of the people with these goddamn companion animals. 0.99
00:42:16.000 Assistance animal, I see. 0.99
00:42:17.000 Service and therapy animals.
00:42:19.000 Service, yeah, therapy.
00:42:20.000 Service animals. 1.00
00:42:22.000 Like a little tiny dog, like my stupid dog. 1.00
00:42:24.000 And they're bringing them everywhere. 1.00
00:42:26.000 And the other thing they're doing is they're getting on rascals. 0.90
00:42:30.000 And you're looking at these people and you're like, you're just fat.
00:42:33.000 And they get to the front of the line.
00:42:35.000 They get to go to the handicap part.
00:42:37.000 It's a small world after all.
00:42:38.000 There's normal little boats that have nine seats.
00:42:42.000 And then there's ones that have six seats and an empty, a hollow middle for a wheelchair.
00:42:46.000 The rascals people get to go on those. 0.98
00:42:48.000 And that wait time is like 10 minutes.
00:42:50.000 Whereas everyone else is waiting, oh, I don't know, two hours?
00:42:54.000 So I just wanted to go up to him and say, hi!
00:42:57.000 Oh my god, you're handicapped. 1.00
00:42:59.000 That's terrible.
00:42:59.000 You know, my father has spina bifida and he's in a chair.
00:43:03.000 And he used to be able to just handle a rascal.
00:43:06.000 Can I ask you, what is your handicap?
00:43:08.000 What is it called?
00:43:10.000 Is it MS?
00:43:12.000 What is it?
00:43:13.000 Is it your nerve endings are crumpled up in the base of your spine? 0.97
00:43:16.000 Oh, you're just fat. 0.88
00:43:18.000 And you don't like walking. 0.90
00:43:19.000 Well, guess what helps with that ailment, believe it or not?
00:43:22.000 The opposite of what you're doing.
00:43:24.000 It's called walking. 1.00
00:43:26.000 Get up, you fat piece of shit. 1.00
00:43:31.000 Fuck! 1.00
00:43:32.000 Some of them were like 40 pounds overweight. 1.00
00:43:34.000 Just a guy with a beer belly, just... It was so irritating and they were everywhere.
00:43:42.000 That pissed me off.
00:43:43.000 Another thing that pissed me off is paper straws are everywhere now.
00:43:47.000 I hate those. 0.99
00:43:48.000 Because one fucking turtle got a straw up its nose and someone released a video where they were pulling the straw out of his nostrils, which she seemed to do just fine. 1.00
00:43:58.000 He got it out there. 1.00
00:43:59.000 It can't happen that often. 0.99
00:44:00.000 And by the way, minor detail here, we're not the ones who put that shit in the ocean. 0.99
00:44:06.000 Central Americans, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Panama, you know what they do? 0.99
00:44:11.000 They get a barge, they drive out to the middle of the ocean and they just go...
00:44:16.000 Like Costa Rica loves to tout their eco-tourism.
00:44:19.000 I had a place in Montezuma for a while.
00:44:21.000 You walk along the beach, it's nothing but flip-flops and combs, flip-flops and combs. 1.00
00:44:25.000 Because that all floats when these barges dump their shit. 1.00
00:44:30.000 I think 80% of the plastic that's in the ocean or in rivers is in two rivers, both in China. 0.99
00:44:36.000 Huh.
00:44:36.000 Look up that
00:44:38.000 Fact, and don't blurt it out until you're sure you got the right one.
00:44:41.000 But we all have to bend over backwards. 1.00
00:44:43.000 We put our shit in landfills. 1.00
00:44:45.000 I know, and it's wrong. 1.00
00:44:47.000 The plastic in those landfills can take 80 years to decompose.
00:44:51.000 Yeah, so what?
00:44:52.000 It came from the ground.
00:44:54.000 Rocks take a long time to break down.
00:44:56.000 What's the matter with something breaking down?
00:44:58.000 I don't understand this fear of, but plastic could get into water supply.
00:45:01.000 Ooh, I'm scared.
00:45:05.000 I never use plastic cups. 1.00
00:45:08.000 So because of that one video, we all have these stupid plastic straws that ruin your drink! 0.99
00:45:13.000 I just don't use straws anymore. 0.99
00:45:15.000 If I'm driving, I risk pouring my drink all over myself.
00:45:19.000 And the kids, I'm looking at them, they take a while to finish their Sprite.
00:45:21.000 They're little kids.
00:45:22.000 And by the time they're towards the bottom of their Shirley Temple or whatever, it's just a soggy, it looks like a clown balloon.
00:45:29.000 This droopy, flat thing hanging down. 1.00
00:45:32.000 Because of one fucking turtle. 0.99
00:45:33.000 I hate how we're so vulnerable to one video. 1.00
00:45:37.000 That guy, what's his name?
00:45:38.000 The shoe bomber, Richard Reed, from the same place Billy Idol grew up.
00:45:43.000 What were they called?
00:45:45.000 They were in a punk... Susie Sue was from all that area. 0.69
00:45:49.000 The Bromley contingent, Bromley, England.
00:45:52.000 And so one guy tries to blow us up with his shoes.
00:45:55.000 And ever since that, the shoe bomber, we all have to take off our shoes at the airport.
00:46:00.000 We're so beholden to one minor event.
00:46:03.000 We're so vulnerable. 1.00
00:46:04.000 Fuck that! 1.00
00:46:04.000 I'm wearing my shoes on the plane. 1.00
00:46:07.000 No, I'm not.
00:46:09.000 There it is.
00:46:09.000 India, Africa, and China blame for 90% of plastic waste choking our oceans.
00:46:13.000 So why are you giving us plastic straws?
00:46:17.000 Is it women? 1.00
00:46:17.000 Is it because women see that video and they push for it and men go, yeah, yeah, fine, we'll switch to plastic straws. 1.00
00:46:24.000 Jesus Christ.
00:46:26.000 Are men doing it just to, because women keep yelling and crying about a turtle? 1.00
00:46:30.000 Fuck a turtle, okay? 1.00
00:46:32.000 Fuck turtles. 1.00
00:46:34.000 There, I said it. 1.00
00:46:35.000 You're alive, some of these guys are alive for 400 years and they're still as stupid as a turtle that's one year old. 1.00
00:46:41.000 How are you alive for 400 years and you don't learn to read or write or communicate? 1.00
00:46:46.000 You're useless. 0.99
00:46:47.000 You know, there was a big super mall they were going to build in Staten Island. 0.99
00:46:52.000 It was going to provide 1500 jobs.
00:46:54.000 And because there was a little tiny mud turtle spotted there in the 1800s.
00:46:59.000 No way.
00:47:00.000 No, I'm not exaggerating. 0.99
00:47:01.000 They said, nah, we need to be 100% sure there's no fucking mud turtles down there. 0.98
00:47:06.000 And the mud turtles, it's like the size of a baby's fist. 0.93
00:47:10.000 And we're so worried about this mud turtle that even though we haven't seen one in that area in hundreds of years, 1,500 job people, real human beings, let me explain something about animals. 0.86
00:47:21.000 They are an abomination.
00:47:22.000 They're an accident.
00:47:24.000 God had this magical slime he put on the planet 3.5 billion years ago, and it was meant to make humans.
00:47:31.000 But the slime got on some stuff, and it got tangled up in some other things, and it's so magical
00:47:36.000 That even if you get a splash out of it, it's sort of like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, right?
00:47:40.000 They were normal turtles and they got caught with that slime and then they became big super skateboarders who like pizza.
00:47:46.000 Same with- that's basically what happened to animals. 1.00
00:47:48.000 We got some gunk on them, we got some human gunk on them, some splooge, and it made a bunch of fucking losers. 1.00
00:47:57.000 Animals are losers. 1.00
00:47:59.000 I saw a zebra at Animal Kingdom stand in the same place for 20 hours with his ass to the building so he could not get eaten by a cougar which is never gonna eat him and he's too stupid to realize that he's in a preserve. 1.00
00:48:12.000 Their lives suck. 1.00
00:48:14.000 A deer, as I've said before, just a fucking weird rat, an elegant rat with knives on its head. 1.00
00:48:20.000 Look at a dog. 1.00
00:48:21.000 His face is 90% nose.
00:48:24.000 And he's not looking at you saying, what are you doing in my chair?
00:48:27.000 That's my chair. 0.82
00:48:29.000 He's saying predator, territory, territory, food, sex, food, food, sex, territory, territory, danger, danger, food, territory, territory, territory. 0.99
00:48:38.000 He's a bug. 1.00
00:48:40.000 You ever see a fly's dick? 0.99
00:48:43.000 It's proof that this thing that made all the other animals is just this magical, crazy sauce that can make crazy life. 1.00
00:48:53.000 Crazy, shitty life. 0.99
00:48:54.000 Like little black flies, those gnats. 1.00
00:48:57.000 Are they different than a plant?
00:48:58.000 They're just ephemera. 1.00
00:48:59.000 They're just useless garbage. 1.00
00:49:00.000 They're just flying plants. 1.00
00:49:03.000 Deers aren't much better.
00:49:04.000 Dogs, I mean, they got big eyes, they seem nice.
00:49:07.000 I'm not bananas about the idea of eating them.
00:49:09.000 But they're not smart. 0.99
00:49:11.000 You know how I prevent my dog from going upstairs or downstairs where he can shit on stuff? 0.99
00:49:15.000 I just have a piece of foam core leaned up against the stairs. 0.99
00:49:19.000 And he's too dumb to realize that all he has to do is touch it with his paw and it would fall down. 0.95
00:49:22.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:49:23.000 He just goes, well, foam core, that's, that's what they build tanks out of.
00:49:27.000 I'm not getting past that.
00:49:31.000 So that pissed me off.
00:49:33.000 And, uh,
00:49:35.000 Two last things.
00:49:37.000 One is, I've noticed, I was talking earlier at the beginning of the show about millennial-splaining.
00:49:42.000 Women. 0.98
00:49:43.000 Balls. 0.99
00:49:43.000 Boomer, angry women, liberals. 0.99
00:49:45.000 But women in general. 1.00
00:49:46.000 They're all experts.
00:49:48.000 Why is everyone such an expert?
00:49:50.000 I'm 48 years old, smart, and I made a ton of money.
00:49:53.000 I'm not looking for tips.
00:49:55.000 But you'll be trying to figure something out, and some woman will come along and go, yeah, what's happening is, let me explain this to you.
00:50:02.000 Just a total lack of modesty.
00:50:04.000 That's what I was trying to say at the beginning of the show.
00:50:06.000 America, and this is a problem with young and old, has a self-esteem problem.
00:50:10.000 We have too much self-esteem.
00:50:13.000 We are too damn proud of ourselves.
00:50:15.000 You don't know what you're doing.
00:50:17.000 You don't know what's going on.
00:50:18.000 Don't assume that you know more than the other guy.
00:50:21.000 And if you are going to offer something, have some humility. 0.99
00:50:25.000 Like, go, uh, I'm not sure I'm an idiot, but isn't it that this could be the thing? 0.99
00:50:31.000 Or not. 0.99
00:50:31.000 Maybe not. 0.99
00:50:32.000 Like, we had to go to dinner at Animal Kingdom, what was it called, the River Rainforest Cafe.
00:50:41.000 And I go, should we get an Uber there?
00:50:43.000 And this woman goes, yeah, no, actually the buses go there every 15 minutes, and it lists the buses here, what times they are, so you just take the bus, you'll be there in no time. 0.95
00:50:52.000 And it's right at the gate of Animal Kingdom, yeah, yeah, yeah, and walks away.
00:50:56.000 And then I look at it and it says that the bus stops at 8 p.m.
00:51:00.000 Our dinner reservations are at 8.15. 1.00
00:51:01.000 So you're wrong, you stupid bitch. 1.00
00:51:03.000 Why are you the boss? 1.00
00:51:05.000 Why are you an expert?
00:51:06.000 Or, you know, with the FastPass, you have like an hour, like 6.20 to 7.20, you can go on this ride and you can use your FastPass.
00:51:13.000 And I go, but it does pay to be there right at 620, I noticed.
00:51:18.000 Because everyone else has that same time.
00:51:19.000 So if you're there at 640, all the fast passers are all tangled together.
00:51:24.000 So I go, we should really be there at 620.
00:51:26.000 And then some stranger who's eavesdropping, leans over and goes, actually, you have a window, and you can go anytime from 620 to 720.
00:51:34.000 So they usually give you a lot of space.
00:51:37.000 You can go anytime within that window. 1.00
00:51:39.000 Thanks, bitch. 1.00
00:51:41.000 You're wrong. 0.99
00:51:44.000 You see what I mean?
00:51:44.000 I'm not a very good Disney person.
00:51:47.000 Maybe New York's ruined me.
00:51:49.000 That Buzz Lardrum or Lorem, whatever his name is.
00:51:52.000 Buzz Lightyear?
00:51:53.000 Yeah, Buzz Lightyear.
00:51:54.000 Thanks for your advice, buddy.
00:51:56.000 Thanks for contributing.
00:51:57.000 It's not Buzz Lightyear? 0.99
00:51:59.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:52:00.000 You were talking about Disney. 1.00
00:52:02.000 You are the best argument for abortion ever. 1.00
00:52:05.000 I think it's okay to have an abortion up until 29 years after the baby's born. 0.73
00:52:10.000 Buzz Lundrum?
00:52:11.000 Lorendrum?
00:52:12.000 Something like that?
00:52:13.000 Lorem?
00:52:14.000 He did those things you do when people graduate college.
00:52:18.000 A little talk there.
00:52:20.000 Keynote.
00:52:20.000 Is that what it's called?
00:52:21.000 Keynote?
00:52:23.000 Or something.
00:52:25.000 They put it to music.
00:52:25.000 They made it a song.
00:52:26.000 It was a very popular song.
00:52:27.000 It said, live in New York till it makes you hard and then live in LA until it makes you soft.
00:52:32.000 I just think I'm too hard. 0.82
00:52:36.000 I'm a human boner at Disneyland just jizzing on people in a rage.
00:52:41.000 Not Buzz Aldrin? 0.79
00:52:43.000 Yeah, maybe it's Buzz Aldrin.
00:52:44.000 He's an astronaut.
00:52:46.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:52:50.000 See, the other problem is you don't know anything. 0.99
00:52:53.000 So when you hear Buzz, you go, well, obviously the most popular person named Buzz is a fucking cartoon. 0.98
00:53:00.000 That's my scope of intellectuals. 0.97
00:53:03.000 Like this guy's a huge writer, a major contributor to American literature.
00:53:08.000 Who's the guy who did that keynote?
00:53:10.000 The cartoon?
00:53:12.000 A CGI drawing?
00:53:14.000 Is that who you're talking about, Gavin?
00:53:16.000 Nope, I'm 48, not four. 0.99
00:53:19.000 I don't reference, I don't quote fucking Buzz. 0.97
00:53:22.000 There was a guy, he was a cartoon spaceman. 0.97
00:53:25.000 He said something very wise.
00:53:27.000 To infinity and beyond.
00:53:28.000 He said, yeah.
00:53:32.000 I heard a heartwarming story.
00:53:33.000 Heartwarming?
00:53:35.000 About this autistic kid who was stranded, boat capsized, and his dad lost him.
00:53:44.000 And his dad, the little boy, he was probably about 12, he loved Buzz Lightyear.
00:53:47.000 It was about your mentality.
00:53:51.000 And he would say, so his dad tried to make it seem fun, like it was a game.
00:53:56.000 So as his son was drifting away from him, he said, to infinity and beyond.
00:54:01.000 And he was like, okay, dad.
00:54:03.000 And he sat there treading water, like it's an awesome, cool Toy Story game for 12 hours and was rescued.
00:54:11.000 And when they rescued him, he's like, I'm tired.
00:54:13.000 That was a long one, dad.
00:54:14.000 Wow.
00:54:15.000 So Buzz Lightyear saved his life.
00:54:18.000 But that's not who I was quoting.
00:54:21.000 Final point.
00:54:23.000 I got a lot of people recognizing me despite the fact that I grew my hair out of my beard and I have different glasses now, but they kept saying, Hey man, we love what you're doing.
00:54:30.000 Appreciate your hard work.
00:54:32.000 And I realized, I think DefendGavin.com has got so many different people contributing because everyone basically agrees with me.
00:54:39.000 They know I'm not a hate leader.
00:54:40.000 They know I'm not a racist.
00:54:41.000 They know racism is very rare.
00:54:44.000 But they go, I can't afford to get fired.
00:54:45.000 I can't afford to be ostracized in my community.
00:54:48.000 I just don't have the stomach for it.
00:54:52.000 But I love that you're doing it because it's best for the country.
00:54:56.000 It's sort of like that resort I went to years ago in Jamaica.
00:54:59.000 Did I tell you about this?
00:55:02.000 This guy showed up.
00:55:03.000 It's a family resort.
00:55:06.000 Oh, check this off your bingo card.
00:55:07.000 The pervy guy. 0.72
00:55:08.000 Yeah.
00:55:08.000 And it's so family friendly.
00:55:10.000 It's so kid friendly.
00:55:10.000 It's almost adult unfriendly.
00:55:12.000 Like the tables are super short and they have little sandwiches.
00:55:14.000 You can't reach down.
00:55:15.000 They're only a foot high.
00:55:16.000 They're for kids.
00:55:17.000 So it's very weird that a non-family man was there and he had a tattoo that went up his spine and down at the front of his head.
00:55:23.000 It was a black arrow.
00:55:25.000 And I heard him.
00:55:26.000 I overheard one of the kids saying that he said he was there to get laid.
00:55:29.000 And did they know any chicks saying that to a 10 year old boy? 0.63
00:55:31.000 You don't talk like that to 10 year olds in case you don't know.
00:55:35.000 Um, and so all the other dads were uncomfortable, including this tough guy who was from Queens who married a Jamaican woman.
00:55:41.000 So he had a Queens, Jamaican accent, white guy.
00:55:45.000 And, uh, eventually I confronted the dude and I basically chased him out of the resort and made him leave.
00:55:51.000 And all the other dads came up to me later and go, I gotta say thanks for doing that, man.
00:55:55.000 It was ruining my vacation.
00:55:57.000 That guy was really creepy.
00:55:58.000 He was making me uncomfortable.
00:55:59.000 I didn't want him around my kids.
00:56:01.000 And that was the sort of vibe I got from all the strangers I bumped into on vacation for the past 10 days.
00:56:06.000 It was people saying, I don't want to do what you're doing, but thank you for doing it.
00:56:11.000 I'm fine with that.
00:56:13.000 That's cool.
00:56:13.000 That's cool.
00:56:15.000 Well, I don't have a choice though.
00:56:16.000 I'm not doing it as some sort of Braveheart noble gesture.
00:56:19.000 I have Tourette's.
00:56:21.000 So I can't not do this. 0.99
00:56:23.000 I was in the special class in eighth grade for being a fucking blabbermouth. 0.99
00:56:28.000 It's kind of a curse in many ways. 0.99
00:56:31.000 But yeah, the moral of the story is have kids closer together. 0.91
00:56:38.000 I got two years apart, which is ideal, and then we waited way too fucking long.
00:56:43.000 We waited six, no, four years for the next one. 1.00
00:56:46.000 That was stupid. 0.98
00:56:47.000 Because now the little one is two separate from the other two. 0.99
00:56:51.000 Although, I gotta say, the great thing about a vacation is you're in the hotel pool and your 12-year-old daughter, who is at the other end of the house and doesn't see her six-year-old brother that much, is all of a sudden playing with him in the pool.
00:57:03.000 And it sort of reboots the family.
00:57:05.000 That's cool.
00:57:06.000 It reboots the hard drive.
00:57:07.000 The kids are forced to talk to each other.
00:57:09.000 They're forced to play together.
00:57:10.000 And they go on little adventures.
00:57:13.000 You know, a hotel is a safe place.
00:57:15.000 So they can go exploring, even going to get ice.
00:57:18.000 Is a fun adventure for them to give them some independence, you know, they're not going to, you know, leave the compound, especially if I've chased away all the pedophiles.
00:57:27.000 So
00:57:29.000 It's not really about the rides or what place you choose.
00:57:32.000 I don't think you have to spend a fortune to go on a vacation. 0.68
00:57:35.000 You can go to a shitty ski hill or even just stay at home. 0.71
00:57:42.000 Have a staycation. 0.84
00:57:43.000 But it's really important to take some time out away from work.
00:57:47.000 Try not to check your phone and get to know your family again.
00:57:51.000 Now I gotta say, I don't think I saw my wife really very much this trip.
00:57:58.000 Like we had this one, we had this insane hotel room in Animal Kingdom where we had our own room, my wife and I, and the bathroom was as big as your kitchen.
00:58:07.000 It was huge, with a big bath and a shower, and I was like, oh my God.
00:58:11.000 The amount of elaborate intercourse that's going to go on in this room. 0.60
00:58:15.000 I'm going to have to go to Wikipedia to sexual positions and add the four I made up but we're going to be incorporating water jets somehow I'm going to be using.
00:58:24.000 That's a good idea.
00:58:26.000 And then of course after walking around a 90 degree park all day and making sure all the kids are happy it was just like 0.98
00:58:35.000 Right a fucking way. 0.99
00:58:37.000 Better than sex. 1.00
00:58:38.000 Just rest. 0.92
00:58:39.000 Nope.
00:58:41.000 Negative.
00:58:43.000 So yeah, that's one thing.
00:58:44.000 You kind of feel like you want to vacation away from vacation.
00:58:47.000 How do you feel this podcast went?
00:58:49.000 Who, me?
00:58:49.000 Yeah.
00:58:49.000 I liked it.
00:58:50.000 It's bringing me back to my vacations when I was a youngster, going to Disney.
00:58:55.000 It could have been a lot funnier.
00:58:56.000 I think it was a C+.
00:58:57.000 I thought the German revelation had some real substance, but then the rest of it was just some guy going through his notes with these minor points that he hasn't really fleshed out.
00:59:06.000 It's almost like Open Mic, where the comedian has a piece of paper with him and he's trying out jokes.
00:59:13.000 I don't know.
00:59:14.000 It was very good imagery.
00:59:15.000 And you know what this is like?
00:59:16.000 It's like when I would play
00:59:19.000 A show and then afterwards people be like, dude, you did a great job. 0.68
00:59:21.000 And then I would get hung up on the details and I'd be like, yeah, but I fucking, I was out of tune and the string broke.
00:59:25.000 And they were like, all right, well, you just ruined it for me. 0.89
00:59:28.000 I'm telling you, I liked it. 0.99
00:59:30.000 And you're telling me why it sucks. 0.94
00:59:33.000 And you're right. 0.99
00:59:33.000 It did suck. 0.99
00:59:36.000 No, I liked it. 0.99
00:59:37.000 It was good.
00:59:38.000 All right, well, we're back.
00:59:39.000 We're back to work.
00:59:40.000 We got a million things on the go, and the podcasts are gonna get more regular.
00:59:45.000 And also, we're gonna be shooting more Miles videos.
00:59:50.000 Two a week, I believe.
00:59:51.000 And those will be broadcast at nohate.com.
00:59:55.000 Miles is pushing this new group he calls the Northern Poverty Law Center, where he'll be fighting to eradicate all hate. 0.94
01:00:04.000 In the world and destroy Trump and punch Nazis and get rid of intolerance by just not tolerating it anymore. 0.53
01:00:15.000 So check out nohate.com. 0.99
01:00:17.000 I hope I got that right, right?
01:00:19.000 Is that what it's called?
01:00:19.000 Yeah.
01:00:20.000 Yeah.
01:00:21.000 And, um, I like you more than a friend.
01:00:24.000 Bye.