Did you ever see someone go crazy at a party and do a backflip and then jump out the window? I mean mentally deteriorate to nothing? I guess that makes sense because you know you get older and you're not going to be around crazy people anymore. And people who are 32 don't really go nuts. I remember a bald guy in a ska band who was around 30 and he went nuts. And a guy who woke up once and said, I smelt burning and he said, the color purple s trying to kill me. And he had a purple Lakers hat that burned holes in it with a lighter and he kept wearing it. And I think it's worth checking out the story of how he managed to keep his head on his shoulders and not get swallowed up by the flames. I also remember when I was a kid growing up in the 80s and early 90s and how crazy my friends were and how they would do things like that and I thought it was pretty funny. And then I went nuts and I was like, what the hell am I going to do with it? And I thought, what's the worst thing I've ever done to myself? I'm going to write a book about it? So I did. And it's a pretty good one. I think you're going to like it and I hope you do too. I hope it makes you think about it and you can relate to it and share it with someone you know someone who's been through something similar. or you have a good friend who's going through something like that or you're having a bad day or are going crazy and you don't know what's going to go nuts and you re going to have to do something crazy like that or are you going to get a lobotomy or you re gonna do something about it or you just don t get lobotomy you re just going to try and do something like this or you don t know what you're gonna do it or maybe you re not doing something like you're doing it, you're just not doing it right and you just need to do it? hope you like it, or you can do something better than you do it better than that, you just do it, then let me know what s going to help someone else do it and I'll send me a nice thing and I ll do it next time, I ll tell me what you re doing it better next time
Transcript
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00:02:35.000So you just hang out with Ryan and you could see his hair because there was gigantic like coffee mug sized burn holes in his purple hat.
00:02:47.000If purple wants to kill me I'm throwing out the whole hat.
00:02:50.000There's still the brim that could get you in the middle of the night, turn into a, I don't know how purple kills people, but I don't even want like a purple dot.
00:02:58.000Couldn't that just go right through your head?
00:03:00.000Like a little tiny grain of sand bullet?
00:03:36.000If you ever got him talking about physics or astronomy, he'd blow your mind.
00:03:42.000His real focus was an opera he was writing, and it contained all of his personalities, which included him, a little bit, but mostly Snuggles the dog and Superman.
00:03:54.000Not Superman the superhero, but the Ubermensch.
00:03:57.000The Nietzschean ubermensch, the perfect being.
00:04:00.000And the perfect being was always tormenting Snuggles the dog.
00:07:09.000These girls change their names so much.
00:07:10.000Do you mean the weird chick with the short hair who makes stupid, funky hats for a living that just look like something that that band Arrested Development would wear or De La Soul when they... This was the early 90s when rap was about dressing like a couch and having orange Chuck Taylors on.
00:08:39.000Uh, so she's doing that and then I go, I just laugh it off.
00:08:42.000I was dealing pot at the time and this was college and I go downstairs and leave and I heard later that she ran into the bathroom and stared at her face in the mirror and started screaming and punching the mirror and smashed the mirror.
00:08:58.000I guess I found that out because I was trying to figure out what happened to the mirror.
00:11:18.000And I said, the way 19-year-olds do, to her brother, Yeah, actually, um... Amy made it very clear to me that she doesn't want to be institutionalized, so I would be remiss if I didn't convey that to you.
00:11:30.000It's something that means a lot to her, and it was... As her friend, I'm imparting that to you.
00:11:37.000This guy's about 15 years older than me in a suit and his little sister lost her mind.
00:13:23.000The design after the Big Bang was, I'm gonna make these humans, and they're gonna get better and better, but it's kind of a crazy piece of toxic sludge I'm throwing into the mix here, so there's gonna be abominations.
00:13:35.000And everything that's not human is an abomination.
00:14:10.000When I said that to that guy about, yeah, she's not going to be going to a mental institution, just so you know, when I had that sort of patronizing tone to someone who has a lot more skin in the game, higher stakes, basically an authority figure, it reminds me of I went skiing recently.
00:14:30.000And this is going to relate to insanity.
00:14:33.000I went skiing recently, and I hadn't really been.
00:14:35.000As Canadians, you grow up skiing all the time.
00:15:18.000And then, even waiting in line, we would smash each other's skis with our ski poles, leaving them looking like Swiss cheese in the back.
00:15:27.000Everyone's skis were totally destroyed behind the ski boot.
00:15:34.000So that's how I grew up with skiing and the idea of wearing a helmet was so unfathomable that if you saw someone with a helmet on, your heart would break in two.
00:15:44.000And then I go back, revisited after a 20-year hiatus, and I get my son a snowboard, and I get my daughter and my youngest son skis.
00:16:35.000It's a benevolent dictatorship at best.
00:16:38.000So I signed you up for lessons and he said, no, don't do that.
00:16:45.000And then I went and I got the lessons and I said, OK, you got to go walk over to that guy with the red coat and he's going to take you down the hill with a different group.
00:16:52.000And my nine-year-old son goes, why did you sign me up for lessons when I explicitly told you not to?
00:17:02.000You were explicit in your instructions were you little Lord Fauntleroy?
00:17:07.000Holy crap did I laugh when he said that but it was exactly the way I talked about Amy.
00:17:12.000And skiing is relevant to this conversation and so are helmets because people are going up and down that hill trillions of times all over the world right now.
00:17:22.000Hordes and hordes of people whipping down the hills.
00:19:12.000I think we have something like 35,000 deaths in cars every year.
00:19:17.000And, you know, you got Techsters now, I think that's 2,000, and drunk driving, and bad weather conditions.
00:19:24.000But the fact that all these billions of opportunities are there for that car, just turn the steering wheel just a little bit to the left, and then you go onto the other road, that guy doesn't notice, wham, head-on collision.
00:19:37.000How many head-on collisions do you avoid every time you drive?
00:19:41.000I think it's a miracle that 320 million Americans don't have more deaths.
00:19:52.000One of the reasons I'm not an atheist anymore is just I'm so grateful to be alive and I'm just in such awe of not just my children and the fact that they're healthy and all their parts work, but that life exists.
00:20:05.000That a giant explosion 3.5 billion years ago, with the plague, with two world wars, with all this conquest and destruction and famine and droughts, and I'm sitting here and all my shit works.
00:25:22.000One of the, there's a lot of great things about hardcore.
00:25:24.000It took a lot of the great stuff about punk, stripped it down, but they maintain this DIY thing where we wanted to get this band, Oi Poloi, the skinhead band, not racist, to play this actual Rock Against Racism festival.
00:25:36.000So we just started the festival in our town and flew them down.
00:25:41.000You know, if you want to have a show, print out the posters yourself, make the show.
00:27:30.000And I got the call from Krista Sandregret that Wolf was going to come to the show tonight and I better not wear my boots.
00:27:35.000And I just remember sitting on the bowl and having explosive diarrhea that was like someone shot a Roto-Rooter septic emptier with a bazooka.
00:27:43.000It was just... They got them eventually.
00:28:15.000But so much of being a young person now is just following the dotted line and that's Trump sucks, Trump sucks.
00:28:22.000And this is so true of artists and musicians and even like thrash.
00:28:26.000Like there's this band Power Trip that are threatening to kick my ass and I was looking at them on Twitter and they're talking about how we don't tolerate transphobic or homophobic speech or something.
00:28:45.000That's not... Can you imagine Lemmy from Motorhead saying, Lemmy would collect Nazi memorabilia.
00:28:58.000His whole house looked like Adolf Hitler's compound.
00:29:01.000He wasn't a Nazi, but he just thought those Kaiser helmets looked cool and stuff.
00:29:06.000But back with punk in the 80s, there was, and hardcore, you had Johnny Ramone who was an anti-communist, and you had this New York scene that the San Franciscoites in Maximum Rock and Roll thought was racist, because they'd sing with American flags and stuff and make fun of people on welfare.
00:29:24.000But inevitably, when you look this up, you go, oh, it's Cubans.
00:29:28.000Cuban exiles who know socialism firsthand and are very happy to be in America.
00:30:39.000I mean, Washington Heights is just a huge big Dominican party with people listening to music on the streets of the hijacked to their ghetto blaster from the streetlight.
00:30:48.000I mean, it's it's you're in the Dominican Republic in Washington Heights.
00:30:52.000You're in you're in Puerto Rico and in Williamsburg.
00:30:55.000You're with the Hasidim in this on the same street next to the Puerto Ricans.
00:30:58.000If you had any kind of prejudice, you'd be exhausted.
00:31:02.000But when other people from the West Coast hear us talk, they don't know that we know these people and we hang out with them, and we're ball-busting.
00:32:03.000I trade tapes with this guy in Britain who was sending me bands like Death by Milk Float that I've never heard of and I would send him all my local bands.
00:32:10.000So we had circumvented the music business and we were sending, actually there's a punk band called Bow Wow Wow that has a song about it called C30, C60, C90 about cassette tapes and how we would just record our own music.
00:32:21.000Some as it would be a live show and send it to each other and we had this whole world where we didn't care what bands were popular and
00:32:45.000And they had a big thing, they would stop the show if women weren't moshing.
00:32:48.000And I remember writing in to Max from Rock and Roll going, this is ridiculous.
00:32:52.000I was having the same fights I have today.
00:32:55.000Moshing is dangerous, it's violent, there's arms flailing, plus skinheads will show up and start punching us from the perimeter of the mosh pit.
00:34:49.000It was like the Amish where you stand on a street corner and someone else sees you and like the Hasids in Williamsburg, they'll stand on a street corner and they'll just, uh,
00:34:58.000Some other guy would say, what are you going?
00:35:19.000So I hop on a plane and I didn't really spend much money after that.
00:35:25.000I went to Darby, stayed with this band Concrete Socks.
00:35:30.000They were named after their drummer Socks because he wouldn't change his socks ever.
00:35:33.000And they would be so stiff they could stand up on their own.
00:35:40.000And then you'd hear about a band that was going to another town, so you'd just hop in the back of the van and go there, to some other squad.
00:35:46.000There was this one in Sweden, and then I met my buddy Steve there.
00:36:09.000And he goes, weirdest thing, I'll never forget this.
00:36:12.000He says, wouldn't it be so awesome just to fast forward to the end of this trip, the four months, and just walk into the Biftec and be the Europe guys?
00:37:40.000Four inches by four inches and it was just replete with addresses of all the people I've been corresponding with and trading tapes with from the scene.
00:37:57.000I'm talking to some guy, I'm going through his records, and it's big black songs about fucking, and you know, crass, and Poison Idea, and all these bands, and I'm going, wait a minute, this is my record collection!
00:38:10.000You just have my record collection, the Dead Milkman, all these bands, MDC, and he goes, in a typical German fashion, they really know how to ruin everything, he goes, yes, well don't you understand that's what you're on right now?
00:38:22.000This is what everyone calls it, they call it the same record tour.
00:38:40.000By the way, the proper response Germany is, I know, cool, eh?
00:38:46.000So, in Berlin, there's this squat, I think it's called the Meinza squat, and it's been there so long that they basically fought the law and won.
00:39:01.000A giant siege with the police where they dug, the punks dug a trough in the road so the police couldn't get their SWAT team giant tanks, basically.
00:39:11.000You know, those things that have the battering rams?
00:39:13.000They couldn't get them to the SWAT because these giant holes in the road had been dug.
00:40:16.000I have a camera, and because I have a camera, it's a force field.
00:40:20.000They're very good with the press over there.
00:40:22.000And so, I'm going up to fights, and wrestles, and bottle smashing, and I'm a foot away, and the cops don't touch me.
00:40:30.000Nor do the skinheads and the punks, by the way.
00:40:32.000I'm just I'm a camera makes you magic there the other guys had like signs that said press on them, but I got under their moniker and It eventually became a standoff
00:40:42.000And the punks and the skins were staring at each other.
00:40:44.000The police were with the skinheads because they were fighting for the right to march because it was the law.
00:49:10.000And they did a rap band, and it was like anarchist, activist, creative artist dudes who would go to these rallies and they'd do rap songs and they would beatbox and stuff.
00:49:22.000And I know it sounds queer right now in the context of 2017, but it seemed really interesting back then.
00:49:28.000Like they were, you know, bringing a new type of music into the movement.
00:49:32.000And he says, you could sleep up on the roof, which I did with my girlfriend.
00:49:37.000Steve was with us then, and he slept with one of the girls, I think, which was rare.
00:49:41.000There wasn't a lot of poontang going on in the punk scene, probably because everyone's genitalia stink.
00:49:46.000And we were just so transient that no one had a chance to meet us.
00:49:50.000It wasn't like a Motley Crue tour, that's for sure.
00:49:53.000But anyway, we get up there and I remember the first night, they just start beatboxing.
00:53:08.000And I just, like, with these hot chicks that he lived with, and he was so happy all the time, he was like Roberto Benigni, you know, in that movie where he's dying in the Holocaust.
00:53:18.000So I'm hanging out with Hugo, and he's talking about his, you know, his chibi job, which is just some dumb job, and the guy's just so effusive, you know?
00:53:25.000And sometimes, I'm into egalitarianism, and I was talking about how hardcore says, no, no, you're special.
00:53:31.000But, by the same token, sometimes you just meet some people and they're extraordinary.
00:55:02.000We go to some squats, more squats, and you know, eventually the money runs out and people have to go home and it was time to return to reality.
00:55:11.000And I think I was there for about five months.
00:55:13.000And I'd been all over Spain, Germany, France was fun, back then in Paris.
00:55:23.000And they would just, if a cop saw a punk rocker, like someone with a mohawk or blue hair, he would just beat the living shit out of you for no reason.
00:55:31.000It was like what, what, you know, we hear about being black in America in the 50s.
00:55:59.000Anyway, so the trip peters down, and, uh, peters out.
00:56:04.000And then, sort of like herpes, uh, I would call Hugo when I was drunk and stuff, maybe like once a month after I got back, then once every two months, and then the outbreaks would get less and less, and I'd call him once a year.
00:56:16.000But I thought, I'm going to hear about this guy in the future.
00:59:27.000I go into this, there's a second-hand clothing shop, and I confess to my wife that I really want to find Hugo, and she's not excited about it.
01:00:23.000And we're going to have some weird Scarface party with him with like a big pile of coke on a thing and naked ladies everywhere and I'm not going to cheat on my wife.
01:00:32.000But, you know, maybe she'll want to like horse around.
01:00:34.000Who knows where this night's going to go, but it's going to be decadent.
01:00:40.000She probably thinks I'm like a hitman for him or some, you know, high powered pitbull attorney that's here to sue gold for not being expensive enough.
01:00:50.000And so she goes, uh, hold on a second.
01:00:52.000And she goes, okay, here is an address.
01:00:54.000This is his ex wife, uh, from many, many years ago.
01:01:31.000You see, Europeans are always on fucking vacation.
01:01:35.000I have no idea how Italy, Spain and France have any GDP.
01:01:40.000I think France has nuclear power, maybe that's why they do, but every time you call a European, they go, yes, well, we just finished the Christmas vacation, but in
01:01:52.000January's we go to the Black Forest with my family.
01:03:24.000So I go up to the top and there's about three apartments per floor and they're all beautiful old stone architecture, you know, like the walls.
01:03:30.000If you punch them, you'd break your knuckles.
01:03:32.000And they have these steel gates on them because it's Italy and it's junkie town.
01:03:37.000So it's weird seeing, it's kind of incongruous, right?
01:03:40.000Seeing this beautiful old wood door and all this wonderful floral architecture and these little details, these ornate details with just a cage on front of the door.
01:03:50.000The cage looked like those old-timey elevators, you know, that sort of open up.
01:06:58.000They've been wearing their pants for so long that their dead skin cells, you know, have had nowhere to go and they get embedded in the cotton twill.
01:07:04.000And the next thing you know, you have human leather pants.
01:07:09.000That are, you know, 90% denim, 10% you.
01:07:13.000That's your dandruff is embedded in the fibers.
01:10:34.000And I didn't have the heart to say, yeah, dude, I remember you showing me this when it wasn't a tattered keepsake that was clearly kept under the mattress at the homeless shelter.
01:11:55.000And I just thought, the takeaway here isn't that you could lose your mind at any time.
01:12:01.000It isn't that we need to pay more attention to the mentally ill, that we need to invest in lunacy, and we have to go get vans and pick these people up and get them in rehab if they're junkies.
01:12:43.000We should thank God, or if you're an atheist, thank nature, or just thank your lucky stars, or whoever you people thank, that this incredibly complex organism in between your ears is firing correctly.
01:12:54.000Sure, you get depressed sometimes, you might have your own demons, I don't know, if you smoke, you're a drunk, whatever, you can't hold down a relationship, that's irrelevant, okay?
01:13:02.000Hugo DiLucci's carrying around the same magazine he had 15 years ago.