Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - Get Off My Lawn Podcast #17 | We jumped a guy the other night

00:00:00.000 We jumped a guy the other night.

00:00:03.000 At least that was the allegations that his friends in Hawaii made.

00:00:06.000 I was going to make the first sentence, I've had a hell of a week.

00:00:10.000 But it doesn't make for a very enticing title.

00:00:13.000 And the title of this podcast is always the first sentence.

00:00:15.000 So I gotta really grab you with the headline.

00:00:18.000 So that's the headline.

00:00:20.000 We jumped a guy.

00:00:21.000 But it was more nuanced than that, and he was not jumped.

00:00:27.000 He was dealt with in a normal, draconian manner.

00:00:35.000 So I've had about five humdingers of stories this week.

00:00:39.000 So unlike other podcasts where I focus on one thing, like Costa Rica or a trip to Italy,

00:00:47.000 I'm just going to tell you about my week, and it's as exciting as any other story, because it's been a hell of a week, as I said.

00:00:54.000 So I started this group called the Proud Boys.

00:00:57.000 It's just a men's club like the Knights of Columbus or the Shriners or something.

00:01:01.000 It's a place where men can get together in a chick-free zone. 1.00

00:01:04.000 We tend to be all pro-Trump, but so are the Masons, so are the Knights of Columbus. 0.68

00:01:08.000 It's just dudes and dads and cops and military guys, and we just drink Budweiser and sing.

00:01:15.000 The song, Proud of Your Boy, from the musical Aladdin, as men are wont to do. 0.99

00:01:20.000 And one of our guys is moving to Texas.

00:01:23.000 He's actually our hunkiest member, so our average look, our median look is going down, unfortunately.

00:01:31.000 Actually, no, he won't affect the median as much as he'll affect the average.

00:01:35.000 That's one thing I did learn in high school.

00:01:37.000 He's going to Texas and I said I said to him about I go I don't I mean I Envy you in that's in the sense of Texas Everyone has their head screwed on correctly and they love the Constitution and they love guns and they love America But I couldn't be in a microwave for six months of the year and he goes the heat you can deal with but look at this I see these about every mile and he showed me a picture of a

00:02:01.000 An American flag on a gigantic pole in front of a building like a carpet store or something, and it was the size of a house.

00:02:09.000 Texans have house-sized American flags everywhere.

00:02:12.000 Here in New York, an American flag is seen as fascist.

00:02:17.000 It's sort of like Paris or Sweden or London, where if you're patriotic, you are clearly a Nazi because you like the country that destroyed the Nazis.

00:02:29.000 Sounds logical.

00:02:31.000 Anyway, so he's going away.

00:02:33.000 So it's not a real meet-up.

00:02:34.000 We're not wearing our shirts and we're not having our normal ceremony with the gavel and the hear ye, hear ye, say aye.

00:02:42.000 We're just drinking beers.

00:02:43.000 And this kid shows up.

00:02:45.000 And I don't know him.

00:02:47.000 And how did he know about this event?

00:02:49.000 Now, obviously, we are constantly under threat from Antifa because we beat them up.

00:02:55.000 And we don't go to their things.

00:02:57.000 But when they come to our things, like a free speech rally, we pound them until we get arrested.

00:03:02.000 And in New York that's fun because they're all rich kids.

00:03:06.000 They're all academic sons of academics.

00:03:07.000 It's not like Berkeley where they're homeless teens who were raped as children and were taken in by Yvette Flarka and will kill for the Queen, the Queen Bee, the giant larvae producing beast who sits in the basement of the home that Soros bought and hands them out smoothies. 0.83

00:03:29.000 Berkeley Antifa are dangerous.

00:03:30.000 That's why when you confiscate their weapons, they have these knives that'll plunge into your neck.

00:03:34.000 Whereas New York Antifa, the only weapon they have is pepper spray, which they hit you with and then run away.

00:03:40.000 Anyway, we always have to be aware that they're going to infiltrate us.

00:03:43.000 James O'Keefe style.

00:03:44.000 And also feds.

00:03:46.000 There's also feds that think we're a hate group and they join us.

00:03:49.000 And there's even guys in our group I think are feds, but I'm sure they've discovered that we're cool guys.

00:03:55.000 And so I think, I'm hanging out with a fed and I like cops, so welcome aboard.

00:03:59.000 It must be the best gig if you're a spy and you infiltrate the Proud Boys because you're just drinking beer with a bunch of cool guys once a month.

00:04:07.000 Anyway, so I'm always aware of that, and I'm aware that people want to kill me.

00:04:11.000 And, uh, when I walk down the street, you know, I have eyes in the back of my head, and if someone's following me too close, I sort of move over to the right and make sure.

00:04:17.000 I'm always aware. 0.98

00:04:18.000 My hands are always up by my tits. 0.91

00:04:21.000 And, uh, so I'm aware of this guy, and he tells me 0.56

00:04:26.000 That he's facing a weapons charge for having a handgun in New York.

00:04:31.000 Now, for those of you who don't know, New York City is unhinged when it comes to weapons.

00:04:37.000 Brass knuckles, paintball guns, BB guns, scuba guns, five-year minimum boom.

00:04:45.000 So what? 0.99

00:04:45.000 When you hear someone has an illegal gun, and they're not in a gang, you go, what the fuck were you thinking? 0.99

00:04:52.000 So I don't really know if I believe him. 0.99

00:04:54.000 It sounds like a lie.

00:04:55.000 And then he said he had hollow point shells.

00:04:58.000 I don't know a lot about guns, but I assume that's a bullet that explodes when it hits your skin and makes a gigantic, unsealable hole.

00:05:06.000 And I go, well, that was not smart.

00:05:09.000 He goes, yeah, I got it for 150 bucks.

00:05:10.000 I had it in my glove compartment.

00:05:12.000 Again, you had a car in New York? 1.00

00:05:14.000 That's the second dumbest thing to have in the city. 0.98

00:05:17.000 And he goes, yeah, parking was hard. 1.00

00:05:21.000 I had in my glove compartment and I was dating this chick and she was crazy. 1.00

00:05:24.000 And so after I broke up with her, she told the cops.

00:05:27.000 Now as a side note, I can't tell you how many guys I know who are in trouble with the law.

00:05:35.000 And it somehow goes back to abroad.

00:05:38.000 And... I'm an anti-femite.

00:05:41.000 I'm like an anti-semite, but I directed at women. 1.00

00:05:44.000 And it's not women per se. 1.00

00:05:46.000 It's women that have been polluted with feminism. 1.00

00:05:48.000 And they are like robots who've been dipped in water. 0.99

00:05:52.000 They're malfunctioning robots. 0.99

00:05:55.000 I call them shit chests because it's like you took the glowing orb out of Iron Man's chest and replaced it with a piece of poo. 0.99

00:06:01.000 So Iron Man is cool. 0.98

00:06:03.000 In its purest form, with the glowing orb. 1.00

00:06:07.000 The women I bitch about are the shit chests. 1.00

00:06:09.000 It's the ones that have been polluted with feminism. 1.00

00:06:11.000 They've had children taken away from them, so they end up just being busybodies and policing you and telling you that you have to go to the corner and telling you that you need to eat your vegetables.

00:06:21.000 Actually, they do do that, right?

00:06:23.000 They become vegans and vegetarians and they tell us, they literally tell us we have to eat our vegetables. 0.95

00:06:30.000 So, as a side note, I go, that sucks for you. 1.00

00:06:34.000 Damn broads. 1.00

00:06:35.000 I do my spiel about how I want to get racists and anti-semites over on my side to attack the shit chests, because they're the real problem with society. 1.00

00:06:43.000 I call them balls now. 1.00

00:06:45.000 B-A-W-L. 0.99

00:06:46.000 Boomer, Angry Women Liberals. 1.00

00:06:48.000 They're the ones messing with everything.

00:06:49.000 They're the ones that got Obama elected.

00:06:52.000 B-A-W-L. 0.97

00:06:54.000 And, uh, so we're talking some more.

00:06:57.000 And he's acting strange.

00:06:58.000 And he has a strange little sweater on.

00:06:59.000 And he's wearing our uniform, the black and yellow Fred Perry.

00:07:02.000 No one's wearing those tonight.

00:07:03.000 And we're at a going away party for John, the hunk.

00:07:07.000 Uh, why are you, you don't know him?

00:07:09.000 You're visiting from Hawaii and you're here at a going away party?

00:07:12.000 What?

00:07:14.000 And he's got like a sweater on that you would get from a Salvation Army.

00:07:19.000 It's like a yellow ratty orange sweater with the Fred Perry coming out and it's going too low and you can see his t-shirt which looks weird.

00:07:27.000 And then he has these diamond earrings which usually means I don't have a dad.

00:07:31.000 That's what diamond earrings mean.

00:07:33.000 And I'm wondering why this fatherless child, who's dressed like he's on Sesame Street, is coming to this going away party for someone he doesn't know.

00:07:43.000 It's all acting very suspicious.

00:07:45.000 And then I find out later, I didn't know about this, our buddy Mike is talking to him and he goes, yeah, I'm gonna get my, the little kid goes, I'm gonna get my third degree when I'm in, in the clink, because I'm looking at three and a half years minimum on Wednesday.

00:07:59.000 And Mike goes, don't do that. 1.00

00:08:01.000 That's stupid. 1.00

00:08:02.000 Don't get a tattoo in prison. 1.00

00:08:04.000 You know, I'm sure we can raise money for you.

00:08:06.000 We'll help you get a tattoo here.

00:08:08.000 They're only about 50 bucks.

00:08:10.000 I think I've got that on me.

00:08:12.000 And then the guy, I didn't know this, pulls a gigantic knife on him and says, oh yeah. 0.99

00:08:19.000 And Mike had to leave anyway, and he goes, oh shit. 1.00

00:08:24.000 All right, you're out of your mind. 1.00

00:08:25.000 I'm leaving.

00:08:27.000 And then he goes up to another buddy of ours, Max, and he goes, by the way, that weird kid just pulled a knife on me and it wasn't in a jokey way.

00:08:34.000 So keep an eye out.

00:08:35.000 I gotta go.

00:08:36.000 So he leaves.

00:08:37.000 And Max immediately goes up to the kid and goes,

00:08:40.000 What's going on?

00:08:41.000 You're pulling knives on people?

00:08:42.000 How is that funny?

00:08:44.000 Did you do it in a jokey way?

00:08:45.000 He goes from smiling to dead serious scared face, then pulls the knife on Max!

00:08:52.000 Now, I know Max well, right?

00:08:55.000 And I've been in fights with him.

00:08:57.000 He's a good dude.

00:08:58.000 He actually, he works on the railroads.

00:09:01.000 And apparently, down there, where they all make obscene amounts of money, by the way, these guys who work at Penn Station, you know, on the tracks, they're all blue-collar dudes, and in New York, that often means $180,000, $200,000 a year.

00:09:13.000 Like, if you see the parking lots, it's all Mercedes-Benzes and BMWs.

00:09:18.000 So it's a weird class of people.

00:09:20.000 These, hey, what's going on?

00:09:23.000 I asked him, what's a blue-collar drink these days?

00:09:26.000 Because I've noticed in the suburbs where I live now, they do this weird thing where they'll have a martini, like a martini glass, with their own shaker by them.

00:09:33.000 I've never seen this before.

00:09:34.000 So they'll have, like, a tough guy who works in sanitation, just sitting down at the bar, watching the game, with an apple martini and his own shaker.

00:09:46.000 It's bizarre.

00:09:46.000 So I say to him, I go, is that a thing?

00:09:48.000 Blue-collar thing you guys have?

00:09:49.000 And he goes, look, you're asking the wrong guy.

00:09:51.000 All the guys I know drink Hennessy.

00:09:54.000 They are the elites.

00:09:55.000 The top 1% are the bottom 1% in Manhattan.

00:09:59.000 If you can wrap your head around that.

00:10:00.000 Anyway, he's a good boy.

00:10:03.000 And I know that if he says he pulled a knife on me, it wasn't like, yeah, I have this knife right here.

00:10:08.000 Which, in New York, is a big deal, by the way.

00:10:10.000 Even a knife.

00:10:11.000 If you have a knife on you, that's a huge deal.

00:10:14.000 You can have a Leatherman, I believe.

00:10:16.000 But you can't have a knifety knife.

00:10:18.000 No, they measure it by the blade.

00:10:19.000 I believe it's five inches or something.

00:10:21.000 So he pulls a knife on Max now.

00:10:24.000 And here's what it is.

00:10:25.000 Well, no, I'll get to that later.

00:10:26.000 I'll get to that later.

00:10:28.000 So he pulls a knife on Max.

00:10:29.000 So Max is a New Yorker.

00:10:30.000 He's used to conflict.

00:10:33.000 On the tracks, by the way, every time there's a conflict, they go, all right, well, you'll have to fight it out.

00:10:38.000 They have a fighting room.

00:10:41.000 This black guy was giving him all these stats about like men in prison and how racist America is and Max went home and researched and he came back the next day and goes, Marcus, you're wrong.

00:10:52.000 This stat was off by about 300% and he broke down all the stuff that the guy had said the previous day. 0.71

00:10:56.000 So he goes, I want to fight you.

00:10:58.000 And instead of going, what? 1.00

00:10:59.000 That's idiotic. 1.00

00:10:59.000 They go, okay. 1.00

00:11:00.000 And they go to the fighting room.

00:11:02.000 I guess it's where the coffee is and they have a fight.

00:11:04.000 So part of his job is fighting. 0.54

00:11:08.000 So this weird little Muppet kid pulls a knife on him.

00:11:11.000 He, Jason Bourns it out of his hand, knocks him down, and shoves the kid away and puts the knife.

00:11:18.000 And then I come over, I go, what the hell's going on?

00:11:21.000 And he goes, you just pulled a knife on me. 0.99

00:11:22.000 And I thought, I fucking knew it. 0.99

00:11:24.000 I knew you were Antifa. 1.00

00:11:26.000 I knew you were a spy. 1.00

00:11:28.000 And I knew, now I know you're here to kill me. 0.99

00:11:30.000 That's even worse than spying.

00:11:32.000 James O'Keefe just takes your conversations.

00:11:34.000 This guy was going to take my life.

00:11:36.000 And I felt this Scottish rage. 1.00

00:11:40.000 Holy shit was I mad. 0.99

00:11:42.000 And so I put his hands behind his back and I grabbed his wrists and I myself was shocked at the strength I had. 0.99

00:11:50.000 That's the thing about us little Glaswegians.

00:11:53.000 We don't look strong, but we're like ants. 0.98

00:11:57.000 In fact, sometimes if I'm moving like a couch, I'll pretend the couch raped my brother. 1.00

00:12:01.000 And I can just go, you bastard! 1.00

00:12:04.000 And just lift up a couch by myself. 1.00

00:12:06.000 A fold-out couch. 1.00

00:12:08.000 You raped my brother! 1.00

00:12:09.000 And I just fill the whole moving van alone. 1.00

00:12:13.000 In a rage.

00:12:14.000 With tears of rage, as Cory Booker would say.

00:12:18.000 And so with my, my hand becomes like Aziz Ansari's claw, but a rage claw.

00:12:24.000 And I hold his wrist together.

00:12:26.000 I know you won't believe this, but I swear to God, he could not have freed himself from this grip.

00:12:30.000 With one hand, I was holding both his wrists, and I'm surprised I didn't break them.

00:12:34.000 They were an iron bar.

00:12:36.000 I could have towed a car with this super grip.

00:12:38.000 So I grab him by the back with a super grip.

00:12:40.000 I take him outside.

00:12:42.000 Getting angrier and angrier, by the way, as we do this, because I'm thinking in my head, what are we doing here?

00:12:47.000 Are we planning a robbery?

00:12:49.000 Are we planning to blow up the White House? 0.93

00:12:51.000 Are we planning a murder? 1.00

00:12:52.000 Are we planning a gay rape fest? 1.00

00:12:55.000 Is there going to be a meeting of NAMBLA? 1.00

00:12:57.000 No.

00:12:58.000 It's ten guys saying goodbye to their buddy.

00:13:00.000 And you want to come and wreck that?

00:13:02.000 That makes me madder than anything.

00:13:05.000 I understand if there's a riot and you're

00:13:07.000 There's communists versus, you know, capitalists or whatever.

00:13:11.000 I was going to say anarchists, but communists are anarchists now.

00:13:13.000 That's guys who went to fight, like the Mods and the Rockers on Brighton Beach.

00:13:16.000 I get it.

00:13:17.000 You guys both went there to fight.

00:13:18.000 That's one thing.

00:13:19.000 But for someone in a free country to come and wreck my going away party, I'm apoplectic at this point. 0.95

00:13:25.000 I'm ready to murder.

00:13:26.000 So I, by the time we get to the door, I don't think his feet are touching the ground. 0.84

00:13:31.000 I'm lifting him up and I take him outside and I kick his legs out from under him and I slam him down on the ground.

00:13:36.000 I go, put your hands behind your back!

00:13:38.000 And so he puts his hands behind his head, sorry, and then I put my foot on his chest.

00:13:43.000 And when I put my foot down, his shirt slides up, and guess what?

00:13:47.000 He's wearing a wire.

00:13:49.000 Now I'm beyond pissed.

00:13:52.000 I'm out of control at this point.

00:13:53.000 So I reach down, I just rip it off!

00:13:57.000 And he's acting innocent.

00:14:02.000 He's not acting like someone who was caught doing a crime.

00:14:04.000 So my instincts are starting to falter now.

00:14:08.000 I'm starting to be less sure of what just happened.

00:14:12.000 And he goes... This is where it all starts changing, by the way.

00:14:17.000 He goes, that's my insulin pump.

00:14:21.000 I did think it was kind of weird that you were wearing a wire so low on your body.

00:14:25.000 I've worn a wire when I was working for Project Veritas.

00:14:29.000 It goes pretty high up.

00:14:30.000 I mean, you have the camera on your chest, really.

00:14:33.000 Your mic is up there.

00:14:34.000 It's all going to be near your head, right?

00:14:36.000 Not on your belly.

00:14:38.000 So with my foot on his chest, I Google the name on the back of the pump.

00:14:44.000 By the way, this is one day of this week.

00:14:48.000 And sure enough, it's linked to diabetes.

00:14:51.000 It's an insulin pump.

00:14:54.000 And then some more research and a couple phone calls.

00:14:58.000 We discover that he is a proud boy from Hawaii.

00:15:02.000 He is here on a drug charge.

00:15:04.000 He did have hollow point shells.

00:15:06.000 He does have diabetes.

00:15:10.000 Have you noticed guys with diabetes kind of have a death wish?

00:15:13.000 I mean, they're not going to make it to my age.

00:15:14.000 They're going to have no hands and no feet by the time they're 47. 0.54

00:15:17.000 So they're particularly reckless, this crew, the diabetics. 1.00

00:15:22.000 So that's probably why he did it.

00:15:23.000 That's why my instincts were skewed. 0.70

00:15:25.000 And this is sort of thing has happened before, and this is about to get super gay. 0.91

00:15:29.000 So hold on to your hats.

00:15:31.000 Because I'm sort of the founder of this group,

00:15:35.000 When there's new kids, and they're young, like millennials, I think they get nervous, because it's like Ahmaud meeting Paul Weller, or a punk meeting Malcolm McLaren.

00:15:45.000 So they overdo it with the vodka shots, and then they start getting erratic.

00:15:51.000 And they do dumb things like pull knives on people as a joke. 1.00

00:15:56.000 So that poor bastard, he ran off. 1.00

00:15:59.000 Thank God we didn't call the cops. 1.00

00:16:03.000 Holy crap, he would have been screwed. 0.99

00:16:05.000 Because he would have had a knife charge on top of a gun charge. 0.99

00:16:09.000 I mean, he'd be in prison for 15 years.

00:16:11.000 Guaranteed.

00:16:11.000 We were one phone call away.

00:16:14.000 Thank God we didn't call the cops.

00:16:18.000 But it was handled, and the Hawaii chapter was very angry, and they ended up apologizing, and I still talked to that guy.

00:16:24.000 He had his trial on Wednesday.

00:16:25.000 It's looking very good for him.

00:16:28.000 She also said that she was stalking him, that he was stalking her, and they discovered that she's insane, and now they're starting to realize he's just a weirdo with diamond earrings who bought a gun on the street, and he wasn't gonna kill anyone.

00:16:40.000 He's got no priors.

00:16:41.000 I think he might get away with probation.

00:16:43.000 I'm not sure.

00:16:48.000 So that was Saturday night.

00:16:50.000 And then, on Monday, I do this thing where I'm filling in for Artie Lang.

00:16:57.000 Now, the story, I don't want to be a rat, and I consider Artie a friend, a peer, a great guy.

00:17:03.000 And the Anthony and Artie show, so this is Opie and Anthony, right?

00:17:07.000 Anthony Cumia. 0.95

00:17:09.000 He split with Opie when he had some, he had a tweet tirade after he took a picture of some black tranny and she attacked him. 0.96

00:17:17.000 We're good to go. 0.75

00:17:34.000 He does what we all do, and we talked about this actually on his show.

00:17:39.000 We just keep coming back.

00:17:40.000 We keep getting up off the mat.

00:17:41.000 We're like Rocky.

00:17:43.000 And he started his own network called The Compound.

00:17:46.000 Compound Media, named after his house, which is like a compound.

00:17:48.000 It's got incredible security, a generator that could last a week, guns galore, cameras galore.

00:17:54.000 He's got a Waco compound in his suburban home.

00:17:57.000 His suburban home is a Waco compound, I should say. 0.79

00:18:04.000 Which is good, because Looney's come by his house.

00:18:08.000 So, Artie Lange, the story I got...

00:18:13.000 Is he's addicted to drugs, right?

00:18:15.000 And I think what he does is cocaine and heroin.

00:18:18.000 But he's scared of needles, so he snorts cocaine and heroin.

00:18:23.000 Not uncommon with comedians, actually.

00:18:25.000 Isn't that what Richard Pryor blew himself up doing?

00:18:28.000 What was it?

00:18:29.000 A speedball?

00:18:31.000 Where he mixed coke and crack?

00:18:32.000 I don't know.

00:18:33.000 Crack and heroin?

00:18:36.000 It must be a weird buzz.

00:18:37.000 I've done both those drugs.

00:18:38.000 Coke is Chatty Cathy powder. 0.97

00:18:41.000 And heroin is just like falling asleep during fellatio. 0.98

00:18:45.000 So, I don't know how you could be a Chatty Cathy while you're falling asleep receiving oral. 0.97

00:18:51.000 Uh, that seems like a bizarre high to me, but it's probably great.

00:18:54.000 I mean, if Artie's that addicted, it must be great.

00:18:56.000 What did you say?

00:18:57.000 Uh, Pryor suffered a heart attack.

00:18:59.000 He was taken- No, no, no.

00:19:01.000 That doesn't help, David.

00:19:02.000 I don't care.

00:19:04.000 Find out what- He did like a speedball?

00:19:07.000 Richard Pryor burst into flames.

00:19:08.000 Find out what that was.

00:19:11.000 Although we will have moved on for the conversation by the time you dig it up It'll be boring and pull us back just like it's doing right now.

00:19:17.000 So forget it So I think it was snorting coke and heroin and Your nose is a very sensitive chap

00:19:26.000 That membrane there, it's for detecting the slightest of smells.

00:19:32.000 One of the reasons a cold is such a nightmare is because that one vital resource, the tympanic membrane.

00:19:38.000 No, it's not tympanic, that's on a frog.

00:19:40.000 Your mucous membrane, that slender, delicate membrane in your nose, is doing a lot of work. 0.96

00:19:47.000 And when it's screwed up, your whole head is screwed up.

00:19:50.000 So he was doing coke and heroin, and then he tweets out a picture of his face where his nose looks like a caricature of W.C. 0.92

00:19:59.000 Fields.

00:20:00.000 You know that puppet show, Spitting Image?

00:20:04.000 Excuse me, I got a bit of a cold.

00:20:06.000 It looked like a spitting image puppet of W.C.

00:20:09.000 Fields.

00:20:10.000 So Keith the Cop, who runs Compound Media, just goes, uh, let's have a little break.

00:20:14.000 I think he takes him to rehab, goes to rehab.

00:20:19.000 So we have, you know, Aaron Berg fills in for him for a week, and I fill in for him for this week.

00:20:25.000 CRTV says it's cool.

00:20:26.000 Just promote your show, which I do, which I'm doing right now.

00:20:29.000 CRTV.com forward slash Gavin.

00:20:31.000 Get off my lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:20:33.000 Very funny show.

00:20:34.000 Very exciting.

00:20:35.000 We go through the news and make fun of everyone.

00:20:38.000 I'm gonna release a sizzle reel actually maybe today on my YouTube of some of the past Highlights of the past I think we're up to like episode 60 or something so He says I'm gonna show up.

00:20:49.000 I've been clean.

00:20:50.000 It's been 35 days I can't believe it's been 35 days since he tweeted that picture of his giant nose, but time flies so maybe it was So he shows up on the show which is weird It's sort of like you're on a first date with someone

00:21:05.000 And then their ex-husband shows up.

00:21:07.000 And you know they're gonna get back together.

00:21:10.000 That's actually a terrible analogy because Anthony and Artie, I think Artie starts this Monday.

00:21:16.000 In three days, he's gonna be back there.

00:21:18.000 But I don't know if that's a good idea.

00:21:21.000 Because I don't think he was clean when he showed up.

00:21:23.000 And this is, I'm probably gonna get in trouble for saying all this, but hold on.

00:21:30.000 He comes careening into the studio.

00:21:34.000 Right?

00:21:34.000 And I'm worried that he thinks that I'm here to take his job.

00:21:38.000 I don't want that job.

00:21:39.000 My job at CRTV is great.

00:21:42.000 Even if they offered me more than I'm making at CRTV, I've got a contract with CRTV for a long time.

00:21:47.000 I'm not leaving.

00:21:49.000 So I'm just doing a solid.

00:21:51.000 I have no interest in Artie Lang's job.

00:21:54.000 I did a couple years ago, but I've since moved on to greener pastures.

00:21:59.000 And I love, like, if you have a terrible thing to do, like the dishes or fixing up your workshop or cleaning up the garage, you put on the Artie and Anthony Show and it's just the time whips by and doing your job is fun.

00:22:13.000 It's fun doing the dishes because it's almost like, you know, when you're having a long dinner and you're playing with the candle wax.

00:22:18.000 During a conversation, it's sort of like that.

00:22:20.000 You have something to do while you're listening to this.

00:22:22.000 And, you know, when they talk about a picture, you can stop and look at it.

00:22:25.000 Great show.

00:22:26.000 So, I want that to continue. 0.98

00:22:27.000 But anyway, now I'll talk trash. 0.68

00:22:29.000 So, he comes careening into the studio, spinning, rotating 360 degrees. 0.90

00:22:37.000 Now, we've all sort of lost our footing sometimes, but this was at ballerina levels.

00:22:43.000 And you can look this up online, compoundmedia.com.

00:22:46.000 He's got the gloves that you handle negatives with.

00:22:51.000 Right?

00:22:53.000 Those white gloves.

00:22:54.000 And they're not... I'm not talking about a butler white gloves.

00:22:58.000 Hell yeah, sir!

00:22:59.000 Where they're thick and they have those three lines in the back like on Mickey Mouse's hands. 0.90

00:23:04.000 I'm talking about cheap, garbage, really, really, really thin cotton gloves.

00:23:08.000 The kind that you buy in a pack of 50.

00:23:11.000 So he's got those on.

00:23:12.000 He has a cigarette, not lit, in his hand, and he's dressed like a homeless man.

00:23:20.000 So he comes careening in, and he sits down, and I want to show that I'm not threatening your job, so I sort of, I bow down to the alpha, and I move one chair over, and I don't say anything, and I let him talk.

00:23:33.000 He's rambling on about Stuttering John, which is this comedian who was on the Whack Pack on Howard Stern.

00:23:39.000 And Anthony and him both hate the guy, so it's a common ground they can always riff about.

00:23:44.000 But for everyone else, they're like, yeah, I think I remember Stuttering John, especially millennials. 1.00

00:23:49.000 They don't know who Stuttering John is, so it's a strange tangent to get on.

00:23:54.000 And he says, I'm wearing these gloves because my hands are cracking because of the diabetes.

00:24:02.000 Now that's true that you have terrible circulation, right?

00:24:05.000 But if your hands are so dry they're cracking, you'd have maybe surgical gloves on and tons of cream or something.

00:24:11.000 Something plastic.

00:24:12.000 Not thin cotton.

00:24:13.000 Thin cotton is going to usurp the moisture from your hand.

00:24:18.000 So that was weird.

00:24:20.000 And then it gets weirder.

00:24:22.000 He says he was hanging out with a rapper named Crucifix, which I believe, but he had made a joke about a prison guard who was there.

00:24:32.000 I don't believe that.

00:24:33.000 And they, to punish him, they put him in GenPop, general population.

00:24:37.000 I don't believe that for one second.

00:24:40.000 And I know cops.

00:24:41.000 I talk to cops about this.

00:24:42.000 And they go, when a celebrity's in there, you're shitting your pants because you know every single molecule of his experience is going to be made public.

00:24:50.000 And if you even have the slightest screw-up,

00:24:53.000 If you stray from procedure one iota, you could lose your pension, lose your job.

00:24:59.000 So you're walking on eggshells, and for that reason, they never put celebrities in GenPOP.

00:25:04.000 They don't put anyone remotely weird in GenPOP. 0.97

00:25:06.000 They don't put trannies in there, pedophiles. 0.98

00:25:09.000 They probably wouldn't even put a punk in GenPOP. 0.98

00:25:11.000 Like if he had particularly colorful hair, I bet they would put him in a private cell.

00:25:15.000 Just to be safe.

00:25:17.000 It's not that corrections officers care about you.

00:25:19.000 They just don't want to get in trouble.

00:25:21.000 Because if you retire at 40, you make 80 grand a year.

00:25:25.000 We're talking about millions of dollars are on the line here.

00:25:29.000 So he says he went to Gen Pop.

00:25:30.000 And then he says, they were beating me and dragging me by my hair. 0.97

00:25:36.000 Now, Artie's a fat guy. 0.94

00:25:38.000 I don't think he'll deny that. 0.96

00:25:40.000 I don't think you can grab him by the hair.

00:25:43.000 That's like grabbing Jabba the Hutt by his eyelashes.

00:25:46.000 The eyelashes are gonna come out.

00:25:50.000 His hair's not strong enough.

00:25:51.000 What are you, Superman?

00:25:52.000 I'm gonna drag you by the cape?

00:25:55.000 You can't drag Artie Lang by his thin, grey hair.

00:25:59.000 He has like a thousand of them.

00:26:01.000 You could count his hairs in an afternoon.

00:26:05.000 So I don't believe that.

00:26:06.000 And then he says, they got up there and they're beating me with this lead pipe.

00:26:09.000 Beat me in the back.

00:26:11.000 What?

00:26:12.000 I said to him, I go, what is this, Papillon?

00:26:15.000 That might be an old reference for you, but it was an old Steve McQueen film, a true story about a guy who was in some ancient prison in the, whatever, early 1900s.

00:26:26.000 First of all, there aren't lead pipes.

00:26:28.000 Lead pipes are from the 50s before we knew that lead gives you brain damage.

00:26:32.000 Who has lead pipes lying around?

00:26:33.000 It's like Bay Stickman is facing trial now because they claim his stick was a lead pipe.

00:26:40.000 And Kyle Bay Stickman goes, where am I going to get a lead pipe from?

00:26:44.000 I bet they're a hundred bucks on eBay.

00:26:47.000 They're probably illegal to sell.

00:26:50.000 So you're telling me, Artie Lang, that prison guards held you down and beat you with a lead pipe repeatedly?

00:26:57.000 And then he takes off his hat and he has a mullet.

00:27:00.000 The front of his head is shaved.

00:27:03.000 Closed shave, military shave, but the back is still long.

00:27:07.000 And he goes, and then they shaved my head.

00:27:08.000 They said they weren't going to shave the whole thing, just the top.

00:27:11.000 Now this could just be comedy, and you're speaking in a colorful way to amuse people, but it's not even close to the truth.

00:27:19.000 As far as I'm concerned.

00:27:21.000 And I was talking to a cop about it later and we both came up with this theory.

00:27:25.000 He's on methadone.

00:27:27.000 He is clean, he did kick heroin.

00:27:29.000 Still doing coke, which is why he was acting so kooky and doing spins and stuff.

00:27:34.000 Still snorting it, still destroying that poor nose.

00:27:36.000 You know what happens to these people?

00:27:37.000 They lose their septum.

00:27:39.000 The skin in between your nostrils.

00:27:41.000 Bob Beckel has this too.

00:27:43.000 And already when I was on the show previously, I noticed he always has blood on his top lip.

00:27:48.000 He always has a nosebleed, which he claims is a diabetes.

00:27:51.000 But that's... It's like a little kid with snot, you know?

00:27:54.000 Like he could wipe it and then the red would just come back.

00:27:57.000 Bob Beckel was the same way on The Five, right?

00:27:59.000 The liberal that was on Fox News.

00:28:01.000 He would get nosebleeds on the show!

00:28:04.000 This membrane can't handle abuse!

00:28:07.000 And you see that with British people. 1.00

00:28:08.000 You know how British people do endless coke? 1.00

00:28:10.000 It's totally normal to meet some British partying chick and she has no septum. 1.00

00:28:14.000 It happened to Stevie Nicks too.

00:28:16.000 She had to do her cocaine anally. 1.00

00:28:18.000 So we just pour a little bump into her butthole. 1.00

00:28:22.000 Lucky guy. 0.98

00:28:25.000 Anyway, um... So...

00:28:31.000 He, he, I think he was on methadone and coke.

00:28:33.000 And then, and then the other theory that we're working on, and I'm sorry Artie if you're hearing this and it seems disrespectful, but just a theory.

00:28:39.000 You were acting strange and people come up with weird theories after you're acting strange.

00:28:43.000 He says he's facing jail time for possession.

00:28:46.000 So one is going to start pontificating about the details that surround this.

00:28:52.000 We think, our theory is, that his withdrawals for heroin were so bad in the clink, where he was not in gen pop, he was in his own cell, he was probably scratching his head.

00:29:03.000 Scratching his head maniacally, the front of his head.

00:29:07.000 And it was bleeding, and he had blood chunks and scabs in his hair, in the front of his hair.

00:29:13.000 He also showed us his back, which looked really messed up, and he said that was from the lead pipe.

00:29:17.000 I think he was scratching his lower back, too.

00:29:20.000 You're constantly scratching when you're a junkie, especially when you're quitting.

00:29:24.000 Your skin is on fire because the heroin's been taking care of all good feelings for many years.

00:29:31.000 When you stop, your normal dopamine, your normal things, your normal endorphins, whatever you call them, they don't know how to release.

00:29:37.000 The receptors are dead.

00:29:39.000 So your whole body has third-degree burns.

00:29:41.000 And you're constantly scratching trying to stop the pain, the itchiness, the scratchiness.

00:29:45.000 It's like full body eczema.

00:29:48.000 So, I think his hair had blood chunks in it.

00:29:51.000 And I think his back was destroyed.

00:29:52.000 And I think he was scratching so much that he wore his fingernails off.

00:29:57.000 He was probably scratching at the walls too.

00:29:59.000 I mean, heroin withdrawal is like going to hell.

00:30:03.000 So the gloves were probably hiding the fact that all his fingernails are just bloody stubs.

00:30:10.000 That is my theory.

00:30:12.000 I have a theory that the Brontosaur is skinny at one end, big in the middle, and then skinny at the other end.

00:30:21.000 That's my dad's favorite Monty Python joke.

00:30:23.000 I don't really get it, but it always seems to amuse him.

00:30:26.000 And they're called a Brachiosaurus now, Dad.

00:30:32.000 So that was bizarre.

00:30:35.000 And then Artie's saying, do I still got a job here?

00:30:37.000 And Anthony goes, absolutely.

00:30:39.000 And I'm sort of going, dude, I'm not here to mess with your job.

00:30:41.000 I'm here to fill in while you try to stop doing coke.

00:30:45.000 You've clearly stopped doing heroin.

00:30:46.000 You have no fingernails.

00:30:49.000 But you gotta stop doing Coke.

00:30:51.000 Your nose can't take it.

00:30:52.000 And Coke... Coke is great when you're a young man.

00:30:56.000 Well, all drugs are bad, obviously.

00:30:58.000 But the advantage with Coke is you're a young man in New York City, you're out networking, you're out last night, you don't feel like going out, but some friends are in town and a client's in town, and you gotta party till 2.

00:31:06.000 Coke says, I'm gonna make it feel like you haven't been out in a week.

00:31:11.000 And you're finally allowed to go out.

00:31:14.000 It turns every night into Friday.

00:31:16.000 But as you get older,

00:31:18.000 I don't know, you get holiday heart, you know, you get heart palpitations and the next day is just unbelievable AIDS because you drank more than you normally drink.

00:31:28.000 I mean, it's not an old man's game.

00:31:30.000 And I think Artie's much older than me.

00:31:34.000 I'm a little concerned, actually, because genetically he's the same as my kids.

00:31:37.000 25% American Indian.

00:31:39.000 And I worry that it's a genetic predilection, this tendency for addiction.

00:31:43.000 I hope not.

00:31:44.000 The internet says that's not genetic.

00:31:47.000 Indians and booze. 0.90

00:31:48.000 It sure seems to be.

00:31:50.000 I know it is with us Scots!

00:31:52.000 We love our whiskey!

00:31:53.000 And by the way, part of my death clamp on that kid was the bourbon turning me into Groundskeeper Willie.

00:32:01.000 So then, the week gets pretty normal.

00:32:05.000 I should have maybe saved those two kooky stories for the end.

00:32:09.000 But on Wednesday, I went to a book launch for F.H.

00:32:12.000 Buckley, no relation to William F. Buckley.

00:32:14.000 He's got a book out called The Republic of Virtue, How We Tried to Ban Corruption, Failed, and What We Can Do About It.

00:32:20.000 He's one of the best writers there is.

00:32:21.000 He's a fellow Canuck.

00:32:22.000 I think he's born in Saskatoon, law professor, Harvard graduate.

00:32:27.000 And he's just one of the most remarkably intelligent people in the world.

00:32:30.000 And I think it's important to have a wide span of people around you. 0.99

00:32:36.000 And Saturday night was, you know, violent and dumb. 1.00

00:32:38.000 And seeing Artie's fucking fingernail-less junkiness was idiotic. 1.00

00:32:44.000 And then the next night you go to the Harvard Dinner Club and you talk to F.H. 1.00

00:32:49.000 Buckley about corruption and the two-party system.

00:32:54.000 And I'm reading his book now, by the way.

00:32:56.000 Our Machiavellian moment is the first chapter and it's just like some books, Mark Stein is like this, you know, as you read it you just feel your IQ rising.

00:33:05.000 Like I'll just read the opening flap, the dust jacket.

00:33:09.000 The Constitution is best understood as an anti-corruption covenant.

00:33:14.000 I mean that's a t-shirt right there.

00:33:16.000 We can't begin to understand its structure unless we recognize how the Framers meant to create what Buckley calls a quote-unquote Republic of Virtue.

00:33:24.000 But over time their Constitution has spawned the thickest network of patronage and influence ever seen in any country.

00:33:31.000 A crony capitalism in which business partners with government and transfers as which business partners with government and transfers wealth from the poor to the rich.

00:33:42.000 And so we all sat and had dinner, and it was all, like, editors from Wall Street Journal, and Michael Goodman from the New York Post was there, and New York Times writers, and everyone has this blustery sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah, you show it, I'll show him!

00:33:59.000 And I think it's this sort of transatlantic accent that's an affectation that you learn in boarding school.

00:34:04.000 They're all boarding school kids, these sort of New York intellectuals.

00:34:08.000 And boarding school picks up the affectations of not just the transatlantic accent of the 50s, which still has status, I think, in New York, but also the stuttering that I believe comes from King George, and it still prevails.

00:34:23.000 It's still there.

00:34:27.000 So yeah, there's a somewhat bombastic bluster where you also stutter and it's a very unique, very ideally...

00:34:38.000 Atypical way of speaking, if you will.

00:34:42.000 I love it, by the way.

00:34:43.000 I love those guys.

00:34:45.000 And I felt like my IQ had rebooted that night.

00:34:48.000 It was fun talking to them.

00:34:49.000 But inevitably with the intellectuals, and you see this in Israel too, there's so much pontification there about why we're here and what we should do with the Palestinians.

00:35:00.000 And I'm just like, 1.00

00:35:02.000 Like in Israel, I go, let's cut the shit, okay? 1.00

00:35:05.000 They don't want to negotiate with you. 1.00

00:35:07.000 They appreciate, let's call it tough love.

00:35:10.000 And I had a Rottweiler for a while in Costa Rica.

00:35:13.000 The only discipline it got was a punch in the face.

00:35:16.000 And it understood that.

00:35:16.000 You don't say no to a Rottweiler.

00:35:18.000 You punch it.

00:35:18.000 And it doesn't hurt it.

00:35:21.000 So build the wall.

00:35:22.000 Love the wall, Israel. 1.00

00:35:24.000 And the Palestinians respect it, I believe, deep down.

00:35:27.000 And with this, they were talking about, well, you know, with Obama, we had this, and then there's a lot of... People don't seem to understand the metrics.

00:35:33.000 There was so much about emotions with voting, and they want bigger government.

00:35:38.000 And I just, I couldn't resist. 0.99

00:35:39.000 I just said, guys, guys, guys, let's cut the shit here, okay? 1.00

00:35:44.000 It's women. 1.00

00:35:46.000 That's why Obama was elected, because Oprah gave him the vote.

00:35:50.000 Single women. 0.99

00:35:51.000 Balls. 1.00

00:35:53.000 B-A-W-Ls. 1.00

00:35:54.000 Boomer angry woman liberals got Obama elected. 1.00

00:35:57.000 They always vote for big government because they are solipsistic.

00:36:02.000 They love the idea of holding people, loving them.

00:36:08.000 I don't know, by the way, if that's what solipsistic means.

00:36:10.000 It just seemed like a good place to stick that word in.

00:36:13.000 I'm 80% sure I've used it correctly.

00:36:15.000 But they're mothering, you know, so they want more welfare. 0.97

00:36:19.000 Oh, don't be mean.

00:36:20.000 Don't send the illegals back.

00:36:21.000 That's mean.

00:36:22.000 He's been here for 20 years.

00:36:22.000 He's a dad.

00:36:25.000 Yeah, so is that coke dealer.

00:36:26.000 He's breaking the law.

00:36:27.000 Sorry.

00:36:29.000 That's the way it works in Mexico and everywhere on Earth.

00:36:32.000 When you're illegal, you're committing a crime.

00:36:35.000 No person is illegal.

00:36:38.000 Really?

00:36:39.000 Well, that's not what the Constitution says.

00:36:42.000 Anyway, um, so I couldn't help but identify the elephant in the room and at one point I said, can we?

00:36:50.000 And then Frank, F.H.

00:36:51.000 Buckley, the author of the book goes, don't!

00:36:53.000 And he points to me.

00:36:56.000 I've had him on my show before.

00:36:57.000 He has another great book called The Way Back about how America can save itself from corruption and this satellite we've become from the earth of the Constitution, how we can get back to that piece of parchment.

00:37:14.000 So I know him.

00:37:15.000 And I was also, they knew I was about to go because I'm drinking too.

00:37:19.000 And last time I did this, it was Andrew McCarthy did a book called, where was it here?

00:37:27.000 Islam and Free Speech.

00:37:28.000 A little chap book and encounter books.

00:37:30.000 Andrew McCarthy's a guy, a National Review guy.

00:37:32.000 So it was also at the Harvard Club and there was all these National Review people there and I was particularly pissed.

00:37:37.000 That night, drunk and mad, about a National Review doing a book on free speech when they had just fired John Derbyshire for doing The Talk, but for his kids.

00:37:50.000 Now, I've done videos about this.

00:37:52.000 The Talk is where you sit and you tell your black kid that the cops might shoot him at any time, that he lives in a racist country, and that even if you get a law degree, you're not going to get a job because we live in apartheid, and you have to work twice as hard 0.77

00:38:11.000 It's child abuse. 0.97

00:38:15.000 First of all, it's a lie.

00:38:16.000 But even if it wasn't a lie, don't be like Roberto Benigni in A Beautiful Life.

00:38:20.000 Don't tell them that they're in the Holocaust.

00:38:23.000 Pretend it's a game.

00:38:25.000 But they're not in the Holocaust.

00:38:26.000 There's full equality in 2017.

00:38:29.000 So when you tell a black person that a cop could kill them at any moment, you're adding a sort of Damocles that doesn't need to be there.

00:38:38.000 And it's a defeatist mentality. 0.90

00:38:40.000 You're basically telling someone to avoid themselves of all culpability.

00:38:45.000 What a terrible and cruel thing to do to a child.

00:38:48.000 But anyway, John Derbyshire finds it amusing and he writes one for his boys.

00:38:52.000 Now his boys, by the way, are not white. 0.70

00:38:54.000 His wife's Chinese. 0.99

00:38:57.000 But he's still a racist.

00:39:00.000 According to the mainstream left and so he writes one of the talk for his kids and there's there was some contentious stuff in there. 0.85

00:39:07.000 I think the most outlandish points in his point form list was if you see a black person the side of the highway don't pull over to help.

00:39:16.000 That's pretty bad. 0.96

00:39:18.000 And another one was don't trust black politicians as much as white politicians. 0.99

00:39:23.000 That one's a bit saucy. 0.57

00:39:25.000 And I think another one was like if you're in a crowd and you look around you're the only non-black person there get out now That's that's some raunchy Dialogue, but if you would reverse the races and a black person wrote that article people would be in the root You know it would be a Taneshi Coates's latest article and everyone would love it 0.88

00:39:49.000 You know, and you always have to do that.

00:39:50.000 That was a great thing about Roger Ailes.

00:39:51.000 He'd always say, let's reverse it.

00:39:53.000 What if this person was right-wing and that person was left-wing?

00:39:56.000 How would the reaction be?

00:39:57.000 And it's a great way to sort of show the inequality of what they're saying.

00:40:02.000 But John Derbyshire was fired.

00:40:05.000 Now, he wrote that article for Tacky Mag, where I was working at the time.

00:40:09.000 Tacky Theodorokopoulos' magazine.

00:40:12.000 He wrote it for them, but National Review fired John from their staff?

00:40:16.000 And lots of smart people I admire, like Jonah Goldberg, supported it.

00:40:21.000 So I'm sitting there, and I'm with, like, the opinions editor of National Review, and he's... Andrew, absolutely fantastic book.

00:40:29.000 I mean, Islam has a huge problem with free speech. 1.00

00:40:31.000 Well, they don't have the First Amendment, you see.

00:40:35.000 Islam, what, 500 years behind us? 0.89

00:40:38.000 It's terribly unfortunate.

00:40:39.000 I wish they would catch up.

00:40:41.000 Maybe with enough education, they can see the error of their ways.

00:40:44.000 Maybe if they all went to boarding school, we could send Islam to boarding school. 1.00

00:40:48.000 That's what we'll do. 1.00

00:40:50.000 So, uh, I just, I said, can we cut the shit again? 1.00

00:40:54.000 Exactly the same. 0.99

00:40:56.000 And there was a New York Times reporter there and I, and previous to, can we cut the shit that was, they were talking about Jihad and Afghanistan and this foreign policy and what John Bolton was advocating here and why that led to this pushback. 0.96

00:41:10.000 And it was all about getting into the mind of the jihadist. 0.98

00:41:14.000 And I just said, why are we imbuing all this intellect on inbreds? 1.00

00:41:22.000 And everyone at the table, and there was about 15 people, gasped.

00:41:26.000 And this is what pissed me off too.

00:41:28.000 These people who fired someone for using their free speech and then were gloating about free speech.

00:41:33.000 All the eyes go to the New York Times reporter.

00:41:37.000 And they start getting scared and looking at her and smiling like,

00:41:41.000 I don't know what that was.

00:41:46.000 So scared that she was going to write in her book. 0.95

00:41:48.000 And then, of course, the racists started discussing eugenics and the imminent genocide of the gypsies and all gays. 0.96

00:41:56.000 Just so apologetic. 0.99

00:41:57.000 And it particularly pissed me off.

00:41:59.000 And I brought this up with the Opinions Center.

00:42:00.000 I can't remember his name.

00:42:01.000 Little Aryan kid. 1.00

00:42:02.000 Great guy.

00:42:03.000 But I said, don't you feel a little bit guilty sitting here talking about free speech when you fired John Derbyshire?

00:42:09.000 He said, well, I don't think that was the story.

00:42:11.000 I mean, no, it wasn't.

00:42:13.000 It hadn't occurred to him.

00:42:19.000 So that was Tuesday.

00:42:20.000 Tuesday was normal.

00:42:21.000 And then last night, Milo Yiannopoulos shows up.

00:42:27.000 And we go to do Anthony's show.

00:42:30.000 Little Michael Malice was there, propped up on his... He makes his chair go higher because he's short.

00:42:34.000 But it doesn't work on camera because you can see our belt lines. 0.99

00:42:37.000 And his belt is like next to my nipples. 0.98

00:42:39.000 Looks like a little Russian Pepe the Frog. 0.99

00:42:42.000 I love Michael.

00:42:44.000 I'm just messing with him.

00:42:46.000 Uh, and that was a fun show.

00:42:48.000 There was something weird that happened during that show.

00:42:50.000 Just like there was a weird alpha thing when Artie showed up and I became this sort of beta wolf and sat there like... At one point, and I think Malice to a certain extent, but Milo and Anthony and I are obviously all alphas.

00:43:04.000 And there's a weird dichotomy, not even a trichotomy I guess in this case, around alphas, where someone has to be on the top.

00:43:12.000 And they don't like being guests because they have to be subservient to the host.

00:43:16.000 And, you know, wolves, in a wolf pack, the alpha wolf fights every single day.

00:43:22.000 Every single day, number two attacks him, just to make sure you're definitely the strongest.

00:43:26.000 And I've noticed this in social situations.

00:43:29.000 And I think about two-thirds of the way through the interview, Milo decided he wanted it to be his show.

00:43:35.000 So he starts mocking Anthony's papers and throwing them away and saying, we're not doing this one.

00:43:40.000 No, let's do this one, darling.

00:43:42.000 And Ant just wants to go.

00:43:43.000 He's an old man, right? 0.95

00:43:44.000 And when you're in your 50s, you're done fighting.

00:43:47.000 And if someone wants to take over the show, fine.

00:43:49.000 Good.

00:43:49.000 I'll just relax.

00:43:51.000 Whatever is amusing, whatever keeps subscribers coming in.

00:43:53.000 That's all I want.

00:43:54.000 I I'm not petty.

00:43:55.000 I'm not going to I'm not going to be concerned about this.

00:43:58.000 Go ahead.

00:43:59.000 So then it was Milo's show, and Milo would sort of occasionally include Anthony, talk to me and Michael.

00:44:05.000 And if, I don't know, if it was my brother or someone, I would have said, dude, can you talk to that guy more?

00:44:11.000 That's the host.

00:44:12.000 He's running the show here.

00:44:13.000 But, you know, it's not my place, so.

00:44:16.000 That was just a bizarre little social thing.

00:44:17.000 If you're into those kind of cues, you should watch it.

00:44:20.000 It was Thursday's, it was yesterday's, uh, uh, Artie and Anthony Show.

00:44:25.000 And, uh, it's just, I love the way that, that humans act like animals sometimes, you know? 0.96

00:44:31.000 There's so much we can learn from these pathetic creatures. 0.89

00:44:35.000 I mean, that's what animals are, right? 0.99

00:44:37.000 They're humans gone wrong.

00:44:40.000 A dog was supposed to be a person just like it's it's the initial Dom Domino right that amazing microchip that God made he's trying to make a human but of course there's gonna be some mistakes along the way like a hammerhead shark is one of the worst creations that's one of the biggest tangents that this magic little pod went on but all other animals are just shitty humans and with wolves we see a lot of our social dynamics I find that fascinating that's kind of a

00:45:08.000 Scott Adams type of thing to be interested in.

00:45:12.000 Anyway, so after Milo's thing, I go, I'm going to James O'Keefe's book launch.

00:45:16.000 Now I've also got that book here.

00:45:17.000 American Pravda.

00:45:18.000 My fight for truth in the era of fake news.

00:45:21.000 James O'Keefe.

00:45:22.000 James is a great writer.

00:45:25.000 I'm very surprised.

00:45:26.000 It's funny.

00:45:27.000 I think writing is a very rare trait.

00:45:28.000 It's like being funny.

00:45:29.000 Maybe 5% of the population can do it.

00:45:31.000 And James is kind of autistic when you see him. 0.95

00:45:34.000 Like, that's the reason he has these balls to go up to people is because he's a robot. 0.93

00:45:39.000 Like, I'll never forget the time. 0.95

00:45:40.000 I probably told you this story before, but James O'Keefe was in Manhattan living there for a while.

00:45:45.000 And I go, what are you doing here?

00:45:46.000 I thought you were in Jersey.

00:45:47.000 He goes, one of my donors let me stay in his apartment, and it's just amazing.

00:45:50.000 I go, what are you doing?

00:45:51.000 Describe it.

00:45:52.000 And he's like, overlook Central Park.

00:45:53.000 It's two floors.

00:45:55.000 And it's got the best view.

00:45:58.000 I mean, it's basically like John Lennon's apartment.

00:46:02.000 And I go, so what are you doing, James?

00:46:04.000 I'm getting mad now because he was young and single at the time.

00:46:07.000 And he goes, I'm just like watching movies.

00:46:09.000 I don't know what to do.

00:46:10.000 In fact, that's why I brought it up with you.

00:46:12.000 What should I be doing? 0.97

00:46:14.000 I go, James, if I was your age and single and in your shoes, there would be a dead prostitute rolled up in the carpet. 0.99

00:46:22.000 There would be a midget who doesn't speak English doing heroin over there who I don't know. 1.00

00:46:29.000 I'd wonder how he got in. 0.58

00:46:30.000 I would have a tattoo on the back of my neck that was in Russian.

00:46:37.000 And one of the windows would be blown out and the curtains would be sort of blowing, whoosh, whoosh, flying outside the window.

00:46:45.000 Like, you should be having non-stop parties.

00:46:47.000 Jesus, when I was a young man in the early 2000s, it was pure decadence.

00:46:52.000 People literally died.

00:46:55.000 There was actual dead bodies floating around.

00:46:58.000 Twelve over the course of my wild oats.

00:47:04.000 All heroin.

00:47:05.000 Anyway, I'm not advocating drug use, by the way.

00:47:10.000 So, James is a great writer.

00:47:11.000 He writes... You know who else, by the way, is a great writer?

00:47:13.000 You'd never guess.

00:47:14.000 You know Ralph Steadman?

00:47:15.000 The guy who did Hunter Thompson's illustrations with the ink splats and everything?

00:47:20.000 He's a great writer.

00:47:21.000 The joke is over.

00:47:22.000 One of my favorite books.

00:47:23.000 And he's just an illustrator.

00:47:25.000 But James writes in a really exciting way, so it reads like a true crime thriller.

00:47:29.000 I don't like the title, American Pravda.

00:47:31.000 Everything Russian sounds boring to me.

00:47:34.000 It should have been called, like, Fake News would have been a good title.

00:47:40.000 Wrong! 0.86

00:47:40.000 Would have been another one. 0.86

00:47:42.000 Big picture of Trump in the front.

00:47:44.000 Anyway, we go to his book launch and everyone there from the right is there.

00:47:49.000 Milo and I breeze in.

00:47:50.000 There's this annoying thing, I guess it's all celebrities, but particularly on the right with old ladies, probably because they're donors, because they made a bunch of money from their divorce and they're used to conservatives tolerating them. 1.00

00:48:03.000 And letting them do whatever they want.

00:48:04.000 In fact, I remember at one party it was like a deplorable thing and there's all these rich old women with plastic surgery sexually harassing me. 1.00

00:48:14.000 Like trying to make out with me and grabbing my ass. 0.99

00:48:16.000 And I think they get away with that with a lot of conservatives and even libertarians because they're major donors. 1.00

00:48:22.000 Hey lady, I don't need donors. 1.00

00:48:24.000 I don't have donors. 1.00

00:48:25.000 Get your hand off my ass. 1.00

00:48:27.000 You're a five. 1.00

00:48:30.000 I'm not making out with your collagen lips. 1.00

00:48:32.000 I don't want to touch your disgusting, wrinkly, varicose fake tits. 1.00

00:48:38.000 But anyway, these women come up, oh I need to get a selfie! 1.00

00:48:40.000 And of course, like all boomers, they don't know how to work their goddamn phone. 1.00

00:48:44.000 So you're standing there as they scroll through the flash and stuff. 1.00

00:48:47.000 I hate it!

00:48:48.000 I hate selfies!

00:48:50.000 And I don't get them either!

00:48:51.000 What are you doing with that picture now?

00:48:53.000 You're gonna go make it your avatar?

00:48:55.000 I don't know you!

00:48:56.000 So your picture's just a lie!

00:48:58.000 What does your picture mean?

00:48:59.000 That me and my friend Milo?

00:49:00.000 You don't know him!

00:49:02.000 So if you go and frame it, it just means that you were next to Milo once.

00:49:06.000 Yeah, so were one million people that day.

00:49:09.000 It's New York City, you're constantly around people.

00:49:12.000 So your picture just means you stood next to someone. 1.00

00:49:14.000 It's idiotic! 1.00

00:49:16.000 It's as stupid as an autograph! 1.00

00:49:18.000 Oh, a celebrity signed a piece of paper near me. 1.00

00:49:22.000 So?

00:49:23.000 What does that mean?

00:49:24.000 I understand if you were best friends with Winston Churchill and you have pictures of him on your mantelpiece next to all your other friends.

00:49:30.000 Sure, sort of.

00:49:31.000 But these people who collect pictures of them with celebrities, it just is so bizarre to me.

00:49:37.000 It's so illogical. 1.00

00:49:38.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

00:49:41.000 Look, there's me and Barack Obama. 1.00

00:49:42.000 I was with him for eight seconds.

00:49:44.000 That guy probably met 1,000 people a day.

00:49:48.000 Congratulations! 1.00

00:49:52.000 So, lots of people are there having interesting conversations, hanging out, doing some stupid selfies. 0.98

00:49:59.000 Stefan Molyneux is there, does a great speech. 0.98

00:50:01.000 I'm talking to Mike Cernovich.

00:50:02.000 Steve and Mike and I are doing a talk tomorrow night called A Night for Freedom.

00:50:08.000 I better come up with a speech soon.

00:50:11.000 That has to be announced, by the way, the day of.

00:50:16.000 It has to be announced as a secret location.

00:50:18.000 We're tr- we, conservatives, the new right, are the gays of the 50s. 0.63

00:50:24.000 That's not a- probably a good way to frame it.

00:50:26.000 We're the gays of 2000s, but there are gays still. 1.00

00:50:29.000 We're like 1950s gays, is what I'm trying to say.

00:50:31.000 Like in the 50s, if you wanted- if you were gay and you wanted to go to a bar with your boyfriend, you'd find a lesbian, and then the lesbian and the gay would go to the bar with the lesbian and the gay, and they'd face each other and play footsies underneath and the lesbian could touch the other one's knee and the gay could touch- that's the way we have to behave. 0.99

00:50:47.000 Or we'll get fag bashed. 0.99

00:50:50.000 And it makes me particularly mad because we simply support about 50% of the population in America. 1.00

00:50:57.000 So for that you're a freak and you have to announce your whereabouts. 0.97

00:51:00.000 We're not pedophiles. 0.98

00:51:01.000 Why do we have to announce our whereabouts at the last second?

00:51:04.000 It's like at NYU where they said you can go in, we have a secret back door for you.

00:51:08.000 We'll sneak you in with this like jacket over your head.

00:51:10.000 I go, I'm not here to talk about how sexy four-year-olds are.

00:51:13.000 No, I'm not going in a secret.

00:51:14.000 I've done nothing wrong.

00:51:16.000 So we go through the front door singing Proud of Your Boy and have to fight our way through.

00:51:23.000 I get pepper sprayed.

00:51:24.000 The venue, NYU, locks my friends out.

00:51:27.000 So ten guys are there to fight a mob.

00:51:31.000 Ten people arrested at that rally.

00:51:32.000 Two of them are guys.

00:51:34.000 By the way, our two guys arrested, non-white. 0.99

00:51:37.000 The other eight Antifa who were arrested that night at NYU, all white.

00:51:41.000 But we were being beat up for being racist.

00:51:43.000 Okay.

00:51:46.000 So, amongst the right-wing celebrities I see at this thing, many of the same people by the way from the F.H.

00:51:52.000 Buckley launch, book launch, all of them actually, I see Steve Forbes.

00:52:00.000 Steve Forbes is just like Santa.

00:52:03.000 He's just pure goodness.

00:52:05.000 All he talks about is the Fed.

00:52:06.000 He wants to talk to everyone about the Fed.

00:52:09.000 He's not into this salacious gossip and violence the way I am, or Trump is.

00:52:14.000 He just wants justice for the government, and particularly monetarily.

00:52:19.000 He just wants the deficit to go down.

00:52:21.000 That's what he cares about.

00:52:22.000 So, I just see him as almost like Mother Teresa.

00:52:25.000 He's a saint.

00:52:27.000 Actually, Mother Teresa is probably much worse than him.

00:52:29.000 She just increased the population in the turd world, as Christopher Hitchens pointed out.

00:52:34.000 So, more like the Virgin Mary.

00:52:36.000 That's what Steve Forbes is.

00:52:38.000 And so, I'm walking over to him and there's John Levin is there.

00:52:42.000 Now, John Levin, J-O-N, is a guy, I first met him at an Ann Coulter dinner, gay Jewish guy. 1.00

00:52:51.000 Blogger and and likes she's a bit of a fag hag so she's always running herself with them, and there's two of these homosexual gossipers and So they sit down at dinner, and he's nervous down that I've sat down with him I go. 1.00

00:53:06.000 Oh, what's going on here, and he says look. 0.97

00:53:08.000 I just want to get this out of the way I did a hit piece on you in Mike or Vox or something, and I just want to apologize and

00:53:16.000 And I go, I start getting mad, because I had a bad feeling about him the second I saw his little obsequious face with his little smarmy smile.

00:53:23.000 And I said, what was the article again?

00:53:26.000 Because I have a million bad articles written about me.

00:53:28.000 And he goes, I don't even know, to be honest.

00:53:31.000 It was like one of five things I wrote that day.

00:53:32.000 I don't even remember it.

00:53:33.000 It was just like, I just farted it out.

00:53:35.000 I needed the money.

00:53:37.000 And that part pissed me off.

00:53:41.000 And I said, why?

00:53:43.000 And I say this all the time.

00:53:45.000 I understand you have no honour.

00:53:47.000 I understand you're devoid of character.

00:53:49.000 Many people are like that.

00:53:51.000 But why did you choose writing as a vocation?

00:53:54.000 When writing is predicated on honour, accuracy, legacy, character, that's what the venue is.

00:54:03.000 That's what it's designed for.

00:54:05.000 It's designed for conveying truth.

00:54:08.000 And you, as a disloyal, untruthful person, chose that pursuit?

00:54:14.000 I don't understand it. 0.76

00:54:15.000 It's like a paraplegic deciding he wants to be a figure skater.

00:54:18.000 You have spaghetti for legs, my friend.

00:54:21.000 You can't stand up on the rink.

00:54:22.000 What are you doing here?

00:54:25.000 And I wouldn't shut up about it.

00:54:27.000 And I kept going, you can't even answer that.

00:54:29.000 You're devoid of character.

00:54:31.000 Why are you in this profession?

00:54:33.000 And his friend's like, he's right wing now.

00:54:36.000 He's a conservative. 1.00

00:54:37.000 He thinks all that stuff's bullshit. 1.00

00:54:38.000 I go, I don't care! 1.00

00:54:39.000 And by the way, right-wing, left-wing, as crass say, you can stuff the lot.

00:54:45.000 It's about truth.

00:54:47.000 You know, Thomas Sowell says you go from left to right without changing your political positions.

00:54:50.000 It's the background that moves.

00:54:52.000 I'm still an anarchist punk rocker, the same kid I was in 1988.

00:54:55.000 I still want minimal government.

00:54:58.000 I still want people being left alone.

00:55:00.000 I don't want people being told what to do. 0.96

00:55:02.000 Politics is people want to be left alone and people won't leave them the fuck alone. 0.88

00:55:05.000 I'm still in Group A. That's conservative now, I guess. 0.95

00:55:09.000 Okay, fine.

00:55:10.000 Call it New Right.

00:55:11.000 We'll see what it's called next week.

00:55:12.000 I'm not changing.

00:55:14.000 And so I don't care that he switched from left to right. 0.87

00:55:16.000 He's a dishonorable human being, and I don't want to break bread with him.

00:55:21.000 And then Ann Coulter just said, look, he said he's sorry. 0.98

00:55:23.000 Drop it! 1.00

00:55:27.000 She disciplined me.

00:55:29.000 So, I see him there, and I'm usually pretty good with people.

00:55:33.000 I'm pretty good.

00:55:34.000 Like, you know, notice how I broke down that Alpha thing with the Milo thing?

00:55:37.000 And I knew that Artie was lying.

00:55:39.000 I'm pretty good at sussing out vibes.

00:55:41.000 Maybe it's constantly being under threat. 0.82

00:55:44.000 Like, even when I was a kid, all the Nazi skinheads wanted to kill me.

00:55:47.000 So I was always, like, aware of my surroundings.

00:55:50.000 And, uh...

00:55:52.000 I see John Levine go up.

00:55:53.000 I don't know if it's Levine or Levin.

00:55:55.000 Let's say Levine, to separate him from Mark Levin.

00:55:58.000 John Levine.

00:55:59.000 I see him go up to Steve Forbes.

00:56:01.000 And I'm like, stay away from the mother of baby Jesus, please. 1.00

00:56:04.000 And he says to him, did you know that the magazine that Trump smacked that porn star's ass with was Forbes? 1.00

00:56:15.000 How do you feel about your name being used to smack a porn star's ass? 1.00

00:56:23.000 That was his question. 1.00

00:56:26.000 How mad are you right now?

00:56:28.000 And I just went up to him, I go, I knew it! 1.00

00:56:31.000 You piece of shit! 1.00

00:56:33.000 I knew it! 1.00

00:56:34.000 I knew you're a shitty person! 1.00

00:56:36.000 And I just, I wanted to punch him so bad. 1.00

00:56:39.000 And we're at James' event. 0.79

00:56:41.000 I don't want to cause a scene.

00:56:42.000 He's a tiny little man.

00:56:44.000 And I can sometimes, when you want to punch someone, you can feel it in your bones.

00:56:48.000 Like, I could feel my left hook.

00:56:50.000 In boxing, there's this beautiful combination where you make your left hook and your right so close together, it's almost a guaranteed knockout.

00:56:57.000 Because the head goes, ba-dum!

00:56:59.000 Left, right! 0.50

00:57:00.000 Ba-dum! 0.99

00:57:02.000 And I'm feeling that happen already.

00:57:04.000 Envisioning it.

00:57:05.000 That's a good, happy tip.

00:57:06.000 A good tip with baseball, too.

00:57:07.000 My son says this works.

00:57:08.000 He swears by it.

00:57:09.000 You, when you're up to bat, you envision yourself as having already hit the ball.

00:57:14.000 So hitting the ball is just paperwork.

00:57:16.000 I've already hit an RBI.

00:57:18.000 I'm already on second base.

00:57:19.000 We just have to take care of some formalities here.

00:57:21.000 I have to initial this and of course actually hit the ball.

00:57:23.000 Whack! 1.00

00:57:24.000 See, I told you.

00:57:24.000 And then you're off.

00:57:26.000 So I'm already envisioning it.

00:57:28.000 And then he starts, you know, he's got a smirmy smile and he talks about how rich I am and how he can see suing me.

00:57:34.000 That's his revenge, by the way. 0.62

00:57:36.000 You can beat me up.

00:57:37.000 I'll just sue you. 0.99

00:57:38.000 Like he's a demon. 0.99

00:57:39.000 He's an evil little 0.99

00:57:42.000 We're good to go.

00:58:01.000 And who knows what's going to go on tomorrow night?

00:58:03.000 We got a big rally here, a big secretive rally.

00:58:06.000 I have like 10 security guys, all Proud Boys, they'll be surrounded with.

00:58:09.000 Could be tons of violence and fights.

00:58:11.000 Who knows?

00:58:13.000 It's an exciting time to be alive.

00:58:17.000 I mean, every time I look at the news, even just as I sit down today, I look here and we've got this release the memo hashtag.

00:58:24.000 That's since I've sat here, as they say in East London.

00:58:29.000 And the moral of the story is, this is not a crappy DM, this is a carpe DM.

00:58:35.000 It's really fun to be alive, and you know when the best way to conquer all this adversity is to be an honest person, to be totally truthful to yourself, to be open to different ideas, and open to the left and the right, and to just sort of bombastically

00:58:54.000 Barrage the earth.

00:58:56.000 Just sort of carpet bomb the entire city with your personality.

00:59:01.000 Come bounding into the room.

00:59:02.000 Don't go in the back door.

00:59:04.000 Come bounding through the front door singing your favorite song and say, let's have at it.

00:59:08.000 What do we got here?

00:59:08.000 You want to fight?

00:59:09.000 Fine, let's fight.

00:59:10.000 You want to argue?

00:59:11.000 Fine, let's argue. 1.00

00:59:12.000 You're a shitty person. 1.00

00:59:13.000 You're a good person. 1.00

00:59:14.000 You know, when you keep it bottled up inside, that's cancer.

00:59:17.000 That's how you get depressed, is you hold it in.

00:59:21.000 You don't tell your boss that you're right-wing.

00:59:23.000 You don't tell your friends that you vote Trump. 0.98

00:59:26.000 You don't tell someone you're gay. 0.96

00:59:28.000 Any sort of closeted behavior eats away at you. 0.98

00:59:33.000 It eats away at your organs.

00:59:34.000 Your brain deteriorates.

00:59:36.000 You know, they find feral children and they say, we try to teach them English, but they do CAT scans.

00:59:40.000 Their brains are literally physically depleted.

00:59:44.000 It looks like a smoker's lung in there.

00:59:45.000 The parts of the brain are completely gone.

00:59:48.000 And that's from lack of stimuli.

00:59:50.000 The same thing is true in real life here on earth, not raised by wolves.

00:59:54.000 You need constant stimulation.

00:59:56.000 You need constant honesty.

00:59:57.000 You need to be yourself, warts and all.

01:00:02.000 This whole week could have been a shitty week if I wasn't who I am.

01:00:05.000 But I had a great time, and I want you to have fun too.

01:00:11.000 Goodbye.

01:00:12.000 Oh, by the way, I'm moving these up to twice a week.

01:00:16.000 I'm still trying to get them down to 45 minutes, but I don't seem capable of that.

01:00:19.000 And I will be releasing another one on Tuesday, come hell or high water.

01:00:24.000 I like you more than a friend, and I'll see you Tuesday.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 19, 2018

Get Off My Lawn Podcast #17 | We jumped a guy the other night

Episode Stats

Summary

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