Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - Get Off My Lawn Podcast #23 | I Can Make an Atheist Argument for the Existence of God

An atheist's argument for the existence of God, and why he doesn't believe in God. This episode is about the Big Bang, the first domino, and how God is not real, but a magical gadget that can make sense of the universe. Also, I don't think God is real. I think he's not real at all, but that's not the point of this episode, and that's why I'm not mad at God. I'm mad at you if you don't believe that God has a long white beard and is a skinny guy with a long, white beard, but then again, maybe he does have a long beard and he's like skinny Santa and we're just putting emojis on it because we don't know that God doesn't exist, but we do know that everything else does, so why not just believe in him? I mean, why not believe in Him? I don t know, but I do believe that he does exist, and I think that he's pretty cool, so that's cool, right? Let me know what you think of it! Tweet me and let me know if you agree or disagree with me! Timestamps: 0:00 - The Big Bang 4:30 - How God came into existence 8:20 - What does God have to do with the universe? 9:40 - What is God's existence? 11:15 - God's role in all of this? 13:00 16:30 17:00 Is God real or not? 18: Does God exist? 19: What are we supposed to believe in anything else? 21: Is God a bad guy? 22:15 23:00 Do you believe in something? 25:00 Does God have wings? 26:00 What are you going to do about it? 27:00 How can I know God? 29:00 Can I believe God exists? 30:00 Are you a bad person? 31:00 Why do I believe in it? 32:00 Who are you better than me? 35:00 God is a bad dude? 36:30 Is God better than you? 37:30 What do you have a big white beard? 39:30 Do you have wings like that? 40:30 Does God suck? 45:00 Should I believe that I'm a loser?

00:00:00.000 I can make an atheist argument for the existence of God.

00:00:06.000 You know, my father's an atheist, and he's a dogmatic atheist.

00:00:10.000 He's like a preacher, an evangelical preacher.

00:00:14.000 Sorry, I'm putting on my shoes, so the audio's gonna go in and out.

00:00:17.000 He's like an evangelical preacher, but in reverse.

00:00:20.000 He goes, you send your, you take your children to church!

00:00:25.000 That's child abuse! 1.00

00:00:27.000 Really? 0.99

00:00:29.000 I mean, before I went to church, I thought it was a place where they talk about how all gays are going to hell, and how dinosaurs don't exist. 0.95

00:00:38.000 And then you go there, and it's all about valuable lessons.

00:00:45.000 And then you say a prayer, you pray, you basically just give thanks, and then you turn to your neighbor and you say, peace be with you, shake her hand, and you kiss your family.

00:01:00.000 Dinosaurs is yet to come up.

00:01:04.000 But I think a lot of atheists, they get lost in the weeds and they go, Jesus didn't turn water into wine.

00:01:11.000 And, you know, God didn't make the dodo bird to kill it, and I can prove there's no God, because that little boy has cancer.

00:01:21.000 And I say, take a step back.

00:01:23.000 Actually, with the old man, we sort of stopped arguing last time he was here, because I said, I think I've come to the crux of the problem.

00:01:32.000 And that is, you never did acid. 0.98

00:01:36.000 I mean, unless you've done LSD and stared at the clouds, then I don't want to hear your bullshit about atheism. 1.00

00:01:45.000 It's boring. 0.99

00:01:46.000 So here's the argument.

00:01:50.000 I can just hear Stefan Molyneux say that's not an argument.

00:01:54.000 It all started with the Big Bang, right?

00:01:57.000 Boom.

00:01:59.000 3.6 billion years ago?

00:01:59.000 What was it?

00:02:01.000 4 billion years ago?

00:02:04.000 Massive energy explosion.

00:02:06.000 In the beginning there was light.

00:02:09.000 And this light formed, this explosion formed the perfect planet.

00:02:15.000 And on this planet there was a microchip.

00:02:21.000 A magical little first domino that had inside of it

00:02:27.000 A seemingly infinite amount of data and it's called nature.

00:02:33.000 You see, when I talk to atheists, I just change God to nature and they see my point. 1.00

00:02:38.000 But God is nature.

00:02:40.000 So this thing called nature is this incredible checks and balances machine that has all this sort of free market discipline within it. 0.83

00:02:54.000 Billions of years later, if you screw your sister, the child will be retarded. 1.00

00:03:00.000 And retards can't breed. 1.00

00:03:02.000 So that'll end that. 0.91

00:03:05.000 If you have a dodo bird who can't fly, it's gonna get eaten.

00:03:08.000 That'll be the end of that bird.

00:03:10.000 All is in there.

00:03:11.000 And I think the first living organism looked like Pac-Man, with tons of eyeballs and teeth.

00:03:18.000 He was like a tiny, microscopic little sphere with just a mouth.

00:03:22.000 That thing had in it deer, hammerhead sharks, us.

00:03:28.000 And the explosion also created mountains and water and that sort of grey area of ephirma that is sort of a plant, sort of an animal, like a, like a gnats, as gnats buzz around you.

00:03:41.000 They're kind of plants.

00:03:44.000 You know?

00:03:45.000 Some of these insects are just half-assed. 0.99

00:03:48.000 Mayflies. 0.99

00:03:50.000 They're the losers. 0.99

00:03:52.000 That's another thing I want to get to. 1.00

00:03:54.000 Animals are losers. 1.00

00:03:56.000 All species that aren't human suck. 1.00

00:03:59.000 A lot of humans suck. 1.00

00:04:00.000 We tend to anthropomorphize our pets. 1.00

00:04:03.000 There's Mr. Wiggles.

00:04:04.000 He's saying, why are you sitting on my chair?

00:04:07.000 No, he's not.

00:04:08.000 He's saying food, food, territory, territory, food, food, sex, territory, squirrel, squirrel, food, food, territory.

00:04:13.000 Actually, squirrel goes under food.

00:04:17.000 So, I see not just the Big Bang, but that magical first domino, that microchip.

00:04:23.000 In the movie Prometheus, it's an alien who comes down here and drinks some sort of poison that shatters his body and his molecules separate and he goes into the water supply.

00:04:34.000 And that leads to a civilization.

00:04:37.000 That's fine.

00:04:38.000 Okay, that's religion.

00:04:40.000 You get me?

00:04:42.000 I'm saying that Prometheus, the beginning of that movie, is an interpretation of what I'm saying, and Catholicism, Hinduism, I think the Maoris in New Zealand worship a giant tree.

00:04:54.000 All these other religions are man's futile, desperate way to put it into words. 1.00

00:05:03.000 We don't really, literally believe that you grow wings when you die and you play a harp.

00:05:07.000 We don't literally believe that God has a long white beard and he's like a skinny Santa.

00:05:12.000 That's just, we're just putting emojis on it.

00:05:17.000 So, to talk about Jesus, I understand, the miracles, that's a whole other conversation.

00:05:24.000 There's some that say that it's just metaphorically, it wasn't literally magic.

00:05:28.000 The Jews obviously say he doesn't exist, and they follow everything but that guy. 1.00

00:05:33.000 And then many, you know, Catholics say, no, those are actual miracles.

00:05:38.000 But I'm not going to get into Jesus in this.

00:05:42.000 I just want you to believe in God.

00:05:44.000 So I guess the argument I'm making isn't for Catholicism, it's for Deism. 0.85

00:05:48.000 And once we can get you on Deism, then I don't care where you go.

00:05:52.000 You know, Charles Murray talks about how I think he gave up atheism and came to God, and it was just sort of like a dart in a dartboard that he chose.

00:06:01.000 Was it Amish? 0.72

00:06:03.000 I think his wife is, became Amish.

00:06:08.000 Goes to that church, whatever that is.

00:06:10.000 Some weird religion like that, but the religion wasn't important to him.

00:06:14.000 Same with Glenn Beck.

00:06:15.000 I believe he sort of, he went from religion to religion, and his only question was, is Gandhi going to hell?

00:06:21.000 And the Mormon said no, and he said, alright, fine, I'm buying. 0.99

00:06:24.000 Put my money down.

00:06:25.000 Oh, and he puts money down, boy!

00:06:28.000 I love Glenn.

00:06:31.000 But he's a bit of a looney tune.

00:06:33.000 I heard he has a million dollar watch.

00:06:36.000 W.T.F.

00:06:40.000 The old guy at the old Blaze Studios in New York.

00:06:44.000 It was like an entire city block.

00:06:46.000 Hello!

00:06:47.000 Hello!

00:06:48.000 Hello!

00:06:49.000 I knew a guy who worked there and I wanted to go grab a beer with him and I would be like, Mike!

00:06:54.000 Mike! 0.69

00:06:54.000 I'm not exaggerating. 0.69

00:06:55.000 And no one was there.

00:06:57.000 And I'd shoot Dana's show and it was in a tiny corner with a little crappy green screen.

00:07:01.000 Like, it could be your closet.

00:07:03.000 While we own a city block?

00:07:05.000 The rent must have been a hundred grand a month.

00:07:06.000 And I'm not exaggerating.

00:07:10.000 Did you see on the State of the Union, Glenn Beck tweeted out, Oh, I would give my left arm to be doing this speech.

00:07:15.000 It deserves something that I can give it or something like that.

00:07:19.000 And Donald Trump could just be the man on the street and I would be the speech guy.

00:07:23.000 That's the craziest thing I've ever read in a tweet.

00:07:27.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

00:07:30.000 Hello, hello.

00:07:31.000 I would just like to say that I'm going to have Glenn Beck read my speech today, and I'll be sitting down here.

00:07:39.000 I won't look like a cuck or anything.

00:07:41.000 Take it away, Glenn.

00:07:42.000 Read my speech.

00:07:43.000 What?

00:07:44.000 I would dump him that day.

00:07:46.000 I would cease to be MAGA.

00:07:48.000 Anyway.

00:07:51.000 So I think the atheists get too lost in what religion you chose. 0.95

00:07:54.000 Just choose religion. 0.96

00:07:57.000 Recognize that there's a God.

00:07:58.000 And I say to the atheists, I go, okay, what was the Big Bang? 0.97

00:08:01.000 Well, we don't know.

00:08:02.000 They always say that.

00:08:03.000 It isn't weird that someone is so dogmatic about something they don't know.

00:08:10.000 There were six members of Rush.

00:08:13.000 Are you sure?

00:08:13.000 No, but you better not think otherwise.

00:08:16.000 Pretty sure there's only three guys in the band Rush.

00:08:19.000 By the way, good joke when someone says they're going to be late or they're not sure they're going to make it in time.

00:08:23.000 You say, don't worry dude, I'm like a girl's record collection.

00:08:27.000 And then when they say, what?

00:08:28.000 You go, no rush.

00:08:31.000 Um, so this magical chip, this magical thing, this, this tiny infinitesimally small magic thing is rolled out.

00:08:43.000 And it keeps growing and growing, and the next thing you know, it's a fish.

00:08:46.000 Then it keeps growing and improving.

00:08:48.000 But while it's growing, it's not a linear line from the Pac-Man to man.

00:08:55.000 It's chaotic.

00:08:57.000 See, this is nothing atheists have a problem with.

00:08:59.000 The chaos.

00:09:01.000 They say, why does a little boy have cancer?

00:09:03.000 Why is there evil?

00:09:04.000 Why can so many things go wrong?

00:09:05.000 And I go, well, what do you want?

00:09:08.000 We're all supermen?

00:09:10.000 Okay, so I'm just gonna walk off the top of this building.

00:09:13.000 Rockefeller Center, I'm just gonna walk off the top of it.

00:09:15.000 SMASH! 1.00

00:09:16.000 I smash down on the pavement.

00:09:18.000 I presume the pavement is now shattered.

00:09:20.000 Then I get up and keep walking.

00:09:21.000 We're all Thor?

00:09:22.000 That's no fun.

00:09:25.000 And the analogy I always use to prove that is, Superman is bored of the Grand Canyon.

00:09:31.000 The Grand Canyon is spectacular.

00:09:34.000 It's beautiful.

00:09:35.000 It's not fenced in, by the way.

00:09:37.000 So if you're going with a toddler, duct tape him to the stroller.

00:09:42.000 There's a little kid once did just run off.

00:09:45.000 Four-year-old died. 1.00

00:09:46.000 And you will die. 0.93

00:09:49.000 But to go down there, there's cabins at the bottom of it. 0.86

00:09:53.000 There's an Indian tribe at the bottom of it, by the way.

00:09:55.000 How's that for weird?

00:09:56.000 There's a whole world down there.

00:09:59.000 It goes on forever.

00:10:00.000 But, uh, uh, there's a cabin.

00:10:02.000 You gotta book them a year in advance, because it's so beautiful.

00:10:04.000 There's a big river there.

00:10:05.000 You can go whitewater rafting, and you're just in a hole, in a beautiful, gigantic hole.

00:10:10.000 So if you wanna go and stay at those cabins, it's a year in advance, because it's so fantastic.

00:10:14.000 And, the trip down is death-defying.

00:10:17.000 The trip down is cliff-edges.

00:10:19.000 Like, it's barely wide enough for a donkey, and your bags are on a donkey. 0.86

00:10:23.000 If you fall off the donkey, you're dead.

00:10:25.000 So you're on a cliff edge.

00:10:27.000 Takes about a day to go down there.

00:10:28.000 People get dehydrated because they think it's easy.

00:10:31.000 It's really difficult.

00:10:32.000 Takes something like nine hours to walk down it.

00:10:35.000 And then you get down there, and after all that hard work, you're just in awe of how beautiful it is.

00:10:41.000 Superman!

00:10:44.000 Swirls around.

00:10:44.000 She's off.

00:10:46.000 That was gay. 1.00

00:10:48.000 Superman thinks that all of the seven wonders of the world are quote-unquote gay. 0.98

00:10:53.000 That's what he said about it.

00:10:55.000 Because there's no struggle there.

00:10:57.000 You know, one of the McKinnis, our name, one of the clan's mottos is, I derive pleasure from hard work.

00:11:04.000 It says that in Gaelic with a little B. 0.94

00:11:07.000 And I honestly think that's why blacks on welfare are so miserable and seemingly prone to crime, and Indians are so prone to alcoholism and depression and suicide, because it's not human not to struggle. 1.00

00:11:22.000 Oh, they don't struggle in the hood? 0.99

00:11:24.000 No, I don't mean that.

00:11:24.000 I mean, they're not struggling with hard work.

00:11:27.000 They don't have jobs.

00:11:29.000 And that's why... Excuse me.

00:11:32.000 That's why we're seeing so much effusive praise of Trump outside of the mainstream media and the coasts.

00:11:39.000 Because jobs matter.

00:11:40.000 Not money!

00:11:42.000 Jobs matter.

00:11:43.000 That's who...

00:11:44.000 What defines you?

00:11:45.000 And that is part of that little Pac-Man microchip.

00:11:48.000 That was part of the design.

00:11:50.000 You see, in that little tiny organism, the Prometheus molecule, there's all these checks and balances. 0.70

00:11:56.000 Like, if you don't work, uh, I'm gonna make you miserable.

00:12:01.000 If you play God, which is what communism is, Stalin is saying, I'm God now, I'm gonna distribute the food, I'm gonna do all the checks and balances myself, I'm gonna take over for the microchip.

00:12:13.000 Well, when you do that, hundreds of millions of people die.

00:12:16.000 Mao killed 70 million.

00:12:19.000 So socialism on a small scale, like Cuba, is misery and destruction and death.

00:12:24.000 On a large scale, like Russia, it's tens of millions of cadavers.

00:12:32.000 And that's part of the microchip, too. 0.99

00:12:34.000 That's the same as screwing your sister and making a retard. 1.00

00:12:37.000 It's all in there. 0.99

00:12:39.000 The checks and balances, the magic nature, the dodo bird.

00:12:42.000 What about murder?

00:12:44.000 Okay, so this is where heaven and hell come in.

00:12:47.000 I believe that we, and religion recognizes this, are all one.

00:12:53.000 One love.

00:12:54.000 What about the woman?

00:12:56.000 One heart.

00:12:57.000 Give thanks and praise to the Lord and it will be alright.

00:13:04.000 And your life

00:13:06.000 It's just part of this big, long, endless chain of humanity. 0.73

00:13:11.000 That's why sex feels good. 0.95

00:13:14.000 And sex, by the way, to make a baby... 0.99

00:13:16.000 Feels way better than banging a chick in the bathroom. 1.00

00:13:20.000 You won't know until you try it.

00:13:22.000 But it just feels more real.

00:13:29.000 You're at one with the cosmos.

00:13:30.000 And you walk down the street the next day and you're sort of like, hello, fellow human being.

00:13:35.000 I was just trying to make a human being last night.

00:13:37.000 How's your human being being?

00:13:40.000 Or as they say in French, un bin humain.

00:13:45.000 That was...

00:13:47.000 That was a joke in Quebec.

00:13:49.000 Why did I just ruin that joke by locating its place of origin?

00:13:53.000 Jesus. 0.85

00:13:56.000 Sex is the same way, too.

00:13:58.000 When you start sort of getting into it and talking about it, and you know what I like to do is this, and did you enjoy that?

00:14:04.000 You ruin it.

00:14:05.000 It's like comedy.

00:14:06.000 Don't overanalyze it.

00:14:07.000 That's all part of the checks and balances.

00:14:09.000 So anyway, Gavin, do you go to Lake of Fire when you die?

00:14:11.000 You really believe that?

00:14:13.000 No, but I can make an atheist argument for heaven and hell. 0.97

00:14:17.000 When you procreate, when you're good, when you live a long life, when you lead a Christian life, you have tons of offspring.

00:14:24.000 They recreate.

00:14:26.000 You're now a bigger part of this magic thing that is humanity.

00:14:31.000 When you are a murderer, we have a check and balance in there. 0.99

00:14:35.000 You tend to die. 1.00

00:14:35.000 You tend to get killed by the victim's family. 1.00

00:14:38.000 You tend to go to jail.

00:14:39.000 You tend not to procreate.

00:14:41.000 You end up becoming extinct.

00:14:44.000 And look at crime in the past hundred years.

00:14:47.000 It's been plummeting.

00:14:50.000 Murderers are going extinct.

00:14:52.000 Murder is happening less and less and less.

00:14:55.000 Also, by the way, look at our lifespan.

00:14:57.000 Even throughout the Great Depression, everything, it's been a 45 degree line up, because we're getting better.

00:15:02.000 So when you think of humanity as one big organism, that organism just keeps improving and improving and improving.

00:15:09.000 It's possible that we're in heaven.

00:15:12.000 Heaven is humanity.

00:15:15.000 This is where I stray from my Catholic doctrines a little bit.

00:15:18.000 But we've almost cured cancer.

00:15:20.000 Our lifespan keeps going up and up.

00:15:22.000 We keep coming up with better ways.

00:15:24.000 I was talking to a guy yesterday who had, he had a herniated disc.

00:15:29.000 So the sort of padding on his disc was sticking into his nerves, crippling pain.

00:15:33.000 Within an hour and a half of walking into his surgeon's office, slid his back, cut the thing, moved it away from the nerves, put the nerves back, stitched them up.

00:15:42.000 He was having a drink.

00:15:44.000 An hour later at the bar.

00:15:47.000 And one and a half hours to fix crippling pain.

00:15:50.000 Tell that to a caveman. 0.98

00:15:52.000 He'll poop his pants. 0.97

00:15:54.000 Or his, like, loincloth.

00:15:55.000 His fur pants.

00:15:57.000 I don't know.

00:15:58.000 I don't think they had pants until well into the sort of plague days.

00:16:03.000 The French probably had the first pant.

00:16:06.000 And then they made another one for the other leg and it became plural.

00:16:09.000 I don't like that.

00:16:10.000 I don't like underpants being plural.

00:16:13.000 It's just a thing.

00:16:14.000 It's like a bra.

00:16:16.000 There's no pants there.

00:16:17.000 My underwear is... I'm gonna call it underpant.

00:16:21.000 I don't even like pants being plural.

00:16:23.000 Because there's not two of them.

00:16:25.000 They just have two legs. 0.99

00:16:26.000 A shirt has two arms.

00:16:27.000 You don't call it a shirts.

00:16:29.000 From now on, I'm gonna call it a pant.

00:16:32.000 I wear a shirt and a pant.

00:16:34.000 And I also, under my pant, I have the aptly named underpant.

00:16:40.000 Anyway.

00:16:43.000 So hell is not being part of this magic equation and heaven is recreating, going back into the soil.

00:16:50.000 So you could say an atheist who doesn't believe in God has a heaven and a hell and has a creator, that weird force that started the whole thing.

00:17:00.000 Deist, atheist, same thing. 0.88

00:17:03.000 And when we go to church, it's a very kid-friendly church, my church, and there's kids playing music and singing, a whole little choir, and there's kid time when the kids leave us and they go to some other room and do a kid's thing with one of the nuns, then they come back.

00:17:18.000 Kiddy-kid-kid-kid.

00:17:20.000 And you're sitting there in this church, it's like 150 years old, and you're thinking about, I feel connected to the people who built it, and they had their kids in here, and sang these same hymns.

00:17:30.000 You see what I'm saying now?

00:17:31.000 Once you get away from the individual,

00:17:34.000 And you make yourself about the 7 billion, you see that God is right here, very real.

00:17:44.000 God is nature.

00:17:46.000 Heaven is nature.

00:17:47.000 Hell is nature.

00:17:50.000 Now, let me tell you the craziest part.

00:17:53.000 And I don't mind if you don't come aboard on this part.

00:17:56.000 Molyneux, this is not an argument.

00:18:00.000 When I said, it's possible this is heaven, I had an epiphany in church, which is blasphemous because it's not a very Catholic epiphany. 0.95

00:18:08.000 And I thought, wait a minute.

00:18:11.000 We don't have wings and a harp and sit on a cloud, right?

00:18:15.000 Heaven is unfathomable to our brains.

00:18:18.000 It's like infinity.

00:18:20.000 For all we know, we're different colored gases that just seep around, experiencing euphoria.

00:18:26.000 For all we know, we become trees.

00:18:28.000 I don't know, and it feels like being on heroin.

00:18:30.000 Feels great.

00:18:31.000 Not advocating heroin, of course.

00:18:33.000 Just lost another guy today.

00:18:35.000 That's two ODs in one week, by the way, and I'm sure I'm not unusual.

00:18:43.000 May he rest in peace.

00:18:46.000 So it's an it's something where we would just be a totally different organism and then we'd look back as ourselves as humans and go... 1.00

00:18:54.000 Loser! 0.99

00:18:56.000 Dude, can you believe we were humans? 1.00

00:18:58.000 You wouldn't even remember being a human because it would be such a loser thing.

00:19:02.000 Because what you are now is like radiant light magicness.

00:19:07.000 Okay, we're about to go to crazy town. 0.98

00:19:10.000 Then I realized, wait a minute, I'm that different from a sperm. 0.98

00:19:15.000 I'm laughing at a sperm right now. 0.97

00:19:17.000 What? 0.99

00:19:17.000 You're just a ball with a little string at the end? 0.99

00:19:19.000 You're like a short tampon? 0.97

00:19:21.000 You look like a tadpole. 1.00

00:19:23.000 You're a loser. 1.00

00:19:24.000 That was me, though. 0.99

00:19:26.000 And now, here I am, with all these functioning limbs, and I'm making babies, and I'm articulating my thoughts, and I can jump on a trampoline, and I can draw a pretty good goat.

00:19:41.000 And we keep improving, and some guy can fix my back in an hour and a half.

00:19:45.000 And, by the way, we've only begun.

00:19:48.000 I mean, life has only been awesome for, like, since World War II, really.

00:19:54.000 As far as conveniences go, if I'm hungry for one second, I have a panic attack.

00:20:00.000 Like, I'm never remotely inconvenienced.

00:20:02.000 I'm an alcoholic, and when I walk around Manhattan, literally every 50 feet, there is bourbon saying, would you like one, sir?

00:20:11.000 They're totally within your budget, and I have to go, no thank you, I'm overfed.

00:20:15.000 My pants are undone right now, by the way, because since I had this suit made, I've become fatter by overindulging myself.

00:20:21.000 Okay, Gavin, but you're talking about how awesome life is and everything, but, uh, you never really got into the kids with cancer, and what about the third world?

00:20:30.000 They're suffering.

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 We're not all gonna be at the same place.

00:20:35.000 I'm not as good of a swimmer as Mark Phelps.

00:20:37.000 The West has been working hard and honing this.

00:20:42.000 By the way, getting closer to God.

00:20:45.000 You know, Trump was recently quoted, uh, he said, our rights are not given to us by man.

00:20:49.000 Our rights come from our Creator.

00:20:52.000 The free market is God.

00:20:55.000 The invisible hand of capitalism that Adam Smith talks about, that's just you standing back and letting the microchip work.

00:21:01.000 Communism is the opposite.

00:21:02.000 You're saying, I want the bread to go to this house and this house and not that house.

00:21:06.000 That's not letting nature take its course.

00:21:09.000 Capitalism is God.

00:21:12.000 I've talked about this before, but in that documentary, I Pencil, that marvels at the incredible way a pencil is made.

00:21:19.000 All these people magically come together.

00:21:21.000 And there's a scene in it where they show a hand, an invisible hand.

00:21:24.000 They're talking about Adam Smith's invisible hand of capitalism.

00:21:26.000 And it's made up of a million pencils.

00:21:28.000 And I'm watching going, that's the hand of God, dude.

00:21:32.000 And that's why America prospers.

00:21:34.000 Because we are so, we are the most

00:21:38.000 Free market in the world So we're the closest to God because we are the we are the most natural in that sense

00:21:49.000 And the Middle East, by the way, a big problem with them is inbreeding, marrying their first cousins. 1.00

00:21:53.000 Also in India with Hindus, because they want to keep the money in the family. 1.00

00:21:56.000 We put a check and a balance in that. 1.00

00:21:58.000 I told you about fucking the sister. 1.00

00:22:00.000 First cousin ain't great either. 1.00

00:22:02.000 So you're going against God when you do that.

00:22:04.000 And I guess in that sense, the Quran is against God.

00:22:07.000 It's a blasphemous document, because it says it's A-OK.

00:22:11.000 Please don't chop my head off for that.

00:22:15.000 Um, so all these other places are just us back in time. 0.99

00:22:19.000 Like, when I see Islam beheading some homosexual, I guess, I just, it makes me nostalgic. 1.00

00:22:25.000 Because I remember when we used to do that 500 years ago. 0.99

00:22:30.000 Ah, the good old days.

00:22:31.000 I'm getting melancholy.

00:22:33.000 They're just behind us.

00:22:34.000 They'll catch up.

00:22:35.000 It's constantly improving, this humanity thing.

00:22:38.000 And of course, there's gonna be dregs on the outskirts. 1.00

00:22:40.000 There's gonna be starving people over here as they iron out the kinks. 1.00

00:22:47.000 They just keep improving, keep getting better.

00:22:49.000 This giant ball of humanity, actually I see it more as crocodile shaped.

00:22:55.000 Skinny at one end, skinny at the other end, and then sort of fat in the middle.

00:22:59.000 This big blob of humanity is...

00:23:05.000 Possibly heaven, but definitely what religion is all about. 0.93

00:23:08.000 And don't you think it's weird that you have some crazy tribe in Papua New Guinea and they, from nothing, will have some straw head that looks like, you know, what's his name from Castaway? 0.97

00:23:19.000 Wilson?

00:23:21.000 Isn't it weird how everyone from scratch has a religion that the Maoris are praying up against that giant tree?

00:23:28.000 Because it's within us.

00:23:29.000 It's within the microchip.

00:23:31.000 The same way you feel better when you have sex with your wife to make a kid, that's like checking off the box with the microchip.

00:23:38.000 That phrase, closer to nature, closer to God.

00:23:43.000 It's within us.

00:23:45.000 Now, another crazy tangent here that I don't expect you to hop on board is that all animals are abominations.

00:23:54.000 Best example of this is the 0.98

00:23:56.000 Unbelievably goofy loser the hammerhead shark. 0.99

00:24:00.000 What are you doing, dude? 1.00

00:24:02.000 What is with your ridiculous eyes? 1.00

00:24:05.000 Or you ever see an oar fish? 0.99

00:24:08.000 It's just this big, long, dragon-looking thing with, like, feathers in the top of its head and it's about 20 feet long and it has nothing.

00:24:16.000 No fins, nothing. 0.99

00:24:17.000 It's just like a long, skinny piece of biological garbage. 0.99

00:24:21.000 Now, I don't want to hurt animals. 0.99

00:24:22.000 I was a vegetarian for 15 years.

00:24:24.000 I don't think that's ethical.

00:24:26.000 But... I do think they're total and utter...

00:24:31.000 They're like tumors, really.

00:24:33.000 Don't hurt them.

00:24:33.000 It's okay to eat them.

00:24:36.000 But I feel sorry for them.

00:24:37.000 Even my own dog.

00:24:38.000 I look at him and I think, your only joy is the scraps I throw you. 1.00

00:24:41.000 You cursed beast. 0.99

00:24:43.000 And by the way, we went against nature with him. 0.98

00:24:46.000 Because he's a purebred Havanese puppy thing.

00:24:49.000 Which isn't natural.

00:24:50.000 This used to be a wolf.

00:24:53.000 Ugh.

00:24:54.000 It's kind of horrific, actually, my dog.

00:24:57.000 My weird... I took a wolf and I made it into that little stupid ball of fur? 1.00

00:25:02.000 I have no contempt for animals. 1.00

00:25:03.000 I feel sorry for them.

00:25:04.000 They're almost cursed.

00:25:05.000 And what it is is, it's sort of like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, right?

00:25:09.000 They had that toxic slime and it hit a turtle and turned it into a weird freak.

00:25:14.000 The slime is the Pac-Man at the beginning.

00:25:18.000 And it's like, let's go make a human.

00:25:20.000 Oops, we spilled it.

00:25:22.000 And you have birds that are weird dinosaurs.

00:25:27.000 You have mammals, hamsters.

00:25:29.000 That used to be us, by the way.

00:25:30.000 So they're just an old version of us.

00:25:33.000 Think of it as a tree where there's one linear branch that goes up the center and the tip of it is perfect, like a Christmas tree. 0.99

00:25:39.000 And then there's all these branches everywhere of just ridiculous, like animals are ridiculous. 0.99

00:25:45.000 Like, what's a bigger loser than a deer? 0.99

00:25:47.000 That weird, elegant rat with knives sticking out of its head for fighting?

00:25:52.000 Or a moose getting bit by bugs going, running through the cutover because he's driven insane with black flies? 0.99

00:26:02.000 Deer coming out of the woods after winter with gangrenous sores and maggots crawling out of their ass? 0.99

00:26:10.000 Sorry guys, but your life blows and you're less special than us. 0.99

00:26:15.000 So, I believe that we were the plan and we're still improving.

00:26:22.000 I believe that animals are just sort of a tangent, really.

00:26:26.000 And also, by the way, if there was a Superman, I wouldn't be religious anymore.

00:26:31.000 Because God made someone better than us, so we're the hammerhead shark.

00:26:35.000 And, my whole theory is over, and I'm an atheist, if there's life on other planets. 1.00

00:26:43.000 If there are aliens, this all is bullshit. 0.98

00:26:46.000 Because it wasn't, the first domino wasn't to create man. 0.99

00:26:50.000 There was a whole other thing going on.

00:26:51.000 And that bugs me sometimes at church, too.

00:26:54.000 Like, there was this story we heard from the Bible where some guy, God said, I'll grant you anything.

00:27:00.000 What are you, Merlin now?

00:27:02.000 And he said, I asked for a, the guy asked for a knowing heart.

00:27:07.000 Isn't that beautiful?

00:27:09.000 Like, oh no!

00:27:10.000 God can't make someone magic.

00:27:12.000 That's making a Superman or an alien.

00:27:14.000 Now you're cheating.

00:27:16.000 Now we're not all on the same page.

00:27:18.000 The whole point is that we all as a community of humans over billions, not billions, well yeah, billions if you go back to the first organism.

00:27:27.000 Billions of years we're all in this together, making the perfect human.

00:27:31.000 And then you just, you give some guy amnesty by giving him a knowing heart?

00:27:35.000 What if he said, I want to fly, God.

00:27:37.000 Now we have a flying guy?

00:27:39.000 Now he's better than Jesus! 0.99

00:27:42.000 That was a dumb move on God's part. 0.99

00:27:47.000 Sometimes church is boring and sometimes the stories in the Bible are insane, but that's man's fault. 0.99

00:27:52.000 That's man trying to glean these lessons. 0.91

00:27:55.000 Hey, I noticed that when I kill someone, that person's family kills me.

00:28:00.000 So let's put that in a story of the story of Josiah, who killed someone and got brained to death with a rock.

00:28:08.000 You're writing down, right, the biological evolutionary traits that God planted in the microchip.

00:28:15.000 Those fables, those lessons we learned in the Bible, that's us writing down, hey, I've noticed a pattern here. 0.97

00:28:21.000 When I screw my sister, it makes a retard. 1.00

00:28:24.000 Thou shalt not love thy sistereth. 0.97

00:28:28.000 Get some parts wrong, but it's all man scrambling 0.97

00:28:32.000 to put words, to put a body, to put clothes, to put pant on this bizarre, overwhelming, beautiful, literally awesome phenomenon called life.

00:28:45.000 And when you go to church, you don't sit there and go, you go, Oh,

00:28:53.000 Whoa.

00:28:53.000 That's why they're made like that.

00:28:55.000 So you just sit back and go, what an incredible thing.

00:28:57.000 I'm so thankful that I have life and that I was able to make kids and then they can have lives.

00:29:03.000 Thanks, whoever's doing this.

00:29:05.000 We really appreciate it.

00:29:09.000 So I'm showing you that nature has checks and balances and they're magical.

00:29:15.000 You can't deny that as an atheist.

00:29:18.000 Got it?

00:29:18.000 Okay.

00:29:19.000 All right.

00:29:19.000 You're with me.

00:29:20.000 All right.

00:29:20.000 Now nature's God.

00:29:22.000 There.

00:29:23.000 I just made an atheist argument for God.

00:29:29.000 You know something fishy's going on with all this magic.

00:29:33.000 You can call it nature or call it God.

00:29:35.000 It's the same thing.

00:29:36.000 Thank you and good night.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 09, 2018

Get Off My Lawn Podcast #23 | I Can Make an Atheist Argument for the Existence of God

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