Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 23, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #27 | I Was a Black Man for a Day in New York City

Topics
racism experiences as a black man racism in America apartheid quiet car observations try being a black man for day
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Chadwick Moore Sean King Martin Luther King Jordan Peterson Tucker Carlson Howard Hughes Hennessy Chuck Paul Barbara Streisand Drunk History Onward Jeeves Christian Wig Derek Waters George Brett Kristen Wiig John Belushi Andrew WK David Wayne Rosa Parks and 6 more
Get Off My Lawn #86 | Hold Their Fire Get Off My Lawn #88 | Help Us

Episode Stats


Length

29 minutes

Words per minute

169.56

Word count

5,033

Sentence count

523

Harmful content

Misogyny

19

sentences flagged

Toxicity

153

sentences flagged

Hate speech

37

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Racism is still alive and well in America, especially in the United States of America. In this episode, I talk about racism in America today and how we need to wake up to the reality that racism is still present in America and how it s a sickness that needs to be eradicated. I also talk about the dangers of being a black man in America these days and how to deal with racism and how important it is to be a Black man in the 21st century. I also discuss how we have to fight racism in our society today and what we can do to combat racism and the racism that still runs rampant in America. I hope you enjoy this episode and share it with your friends, family and loved ones who are struggling with racism in their everyday life and need to know that they are not alone in their experience with racism today and that it s not going to go away anytime soon. Thank you for listening and share this with a friend or family member who is dealing with racism, especially if you re a black person in America or know someone who does not have a safe space to speak out against racism. I hope this episode opens your eyes to the truth and makes you feel better about racism and its effect on your life and your day to day life. You re not alone, we are all in this together! and we all have to work together to change the narrative and make sure that we don t become a better version of ourselves in the future of America! and that we are not just a better place than we were before we know we are in this world anymore. We are all together in this day to be better than yesterday, and we are here for the next day. Love, - Tupac Shakira - Thank you and thank you for being a better tomorrow! - John Singleton - Thank You and God bless you, God Bless You, Lord Bless you, Blessings Blessings and Blessings & Blessings, XOXO Thank You, Thank You for listening, Thank you, Gave Me, Thank Me, Bless You All, Bless Me, Cheers, Me and I Love You, Me & Thank You For Your Support Me, XO, Me, And I'll See You, I'm With Love, Gotta Get Back, Bless, Bless Ya Back, And See Ya, Next Day, & I Love Ya, MRS. - P.A. & Keep Ya Back.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 I was a black man for a day in New York City.
00:00:06.000 And it was an experience.
00:00:09.000 I went to the Bat Room many times.
00:00:12.000 I went to a bar.
00:00:13.000 I rode the train.
00:00:15.000 I rode the train to and from the city and within the city limits.
00:00:20.000 I did communicate with y'alls.
00:00:23.000 And I gotta say that racism is alive and well today.
00:00:28.000 As a black man in America, in New York City, I experienced a level of seething hatred that was below the surface everywhere I go, everywhere I went, everywhere I was.
00:00:44.000 And it's something you just have to get through as a black man.
00:00:47.000 And I will explain this to my kids, my children, that they have to be aware of this. 0.88
00:00:52.000 They have to be aware that when they meet the police, they can die.
00:00:56.000 They can get shot going for a drive.
00:01:00.000 And they have to know that.
00:01:01.000 I'm going to tell my sons that they have to do twice as well
00:01:06.000 As anyone else, in order just to be the same.
00:01:12.000 So you want to be a lawyer, you better be the best lawyer in that class. 0.95
00:01:17.000 And even then, a policeman could come and kill you on your way to the job interview.
00:01:22.000 So, you can never relax.
00:01:25.000 You always got that soul to devil please hanging over your head.
00:01:30.000 And that's something that I experienced. 0.97
00:01:32.000 And a lot of white people, they don't understand. 0.86
00:01:34.000 They can never understand.
00:01:36.000 And they can't speak to this because it's something they will never understand.
00:01:40.000 And I did this.
00:01:41.000 And I just, what I did in my mind, in my conscious mind was,
00:01:47.000 I just recorded a day.
00:01:50.000 I recorded a day.
00:01:52.000 And I was coming from the suburbs of New York.
00:01:54.000 Beautiful, affluent suburbs, right? 1.00
00:01:56.000 I'm the only black man in my neighborhood that's not toiling and landscaping and repairing and lifting like a goddamn slave. 0.99
00:02:10.000 So I get on the train and I walk to the very back. 0.99
00:02:15.000 They have the two cars at the back are called the quiet cars. 0.93
00:02:19.000 And if you don't understand what that means, that's because you're white. 0.87
00:02:23.000 What y'all don't understand about the back two cars is they're the white cars. 0.95
00:02:28.000 And we got Rosa Parks all over again.
00:02:31.000 But now the white man sits at the back of the bus and the black man has to be at the front of the train. 0.93
00:02:35.000 You know why that is?
00:02:38.000 Guess who's the first to go when there's an accident? 0.99
00:02:41.000 When there's an accident, the black man dies. 0.97
00:02:44.000 The white man survives. 0.96
00:02:46.000 That is the history of America. 0.80
00:02:47.000 That is the future of America.
00:02:49.000 And that is present-day America.
00:02:52.000 So I walk to the back and, um...
00:02:57.000 I could see in their eyes, I could see them have a palpable disappointment.
00:03:04.000 And that's what you have to understand about racism today in America is it's not the hoods, you know, it's not the drinking families.
00:03:11.000 It is a systemic virus that leaks throughout.
00:03:17.000 It's almost like a gas, like a noxious fart.
00:03:21.000 That permeates society at large.
00:03:24.000 And it's something we need to work on.
00:03:25.000 You know, I was watching Drunk History the other day, and Derek Waters was doing that, like, live long and prosper thing with the Star Trek chick.
00:03:33.000 And he didn't close two of the fingers, but he had the other two fingers closed.
00:03:38.000 So it was 70% of the nanu nanu sign that they have on Star Trek.
00:03:43.000 And he was saying, we here, we ain't here.
00:03:46.000 Meaning,
00:03:47.000 We ain't done the final symbol.
00:03:50.000 And, you know, we have a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long way to go.
00:04:02.000 In fact, I don't even know if we've gone that far.
00:04:06.000 Sometimes I wonder if we've even moved at all.
00:04:09.000 Sometimes I wonder if this ain't the same as 1965.
00:04:15.000 So I get in the back of the train and I feel disdain.
00:04:18.000 I feel hatred.
00:04:19.000 I feel violence in their eyes.
00:04:22.000 And I'm a well-dressed black man, you know?
00:04:24.000 I don't... I'm not wearing a do-rag. 0.99
00:04:25.000 I don't got my Timbs on.
00:04:27.000 I'm just me.
00:04:28.000 I got a Mets jacket.
00:04:29.000 I'm clean.
00:04:30.000 I got my fade on.
00:04:32.000 I got my work shoes, my briefcase.
00:04:36.000 And I sit down and I just feel that hatred, you know?
00:04:39.000 Because I'm a black man in a partied train.
00:04:43.000 And I broke through their boundaries and they... 0.62
00:04:45.000 I ruined their safe space.
00:04:47.000 They're triggered.
00:04:48.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:04:49.000 These motherfuckers talk about, about social justice warriors. 1.00
00:04:52.000 They got all the same symptoms. 1.00
00:04:54.000 Don't be fooled. 1.00
00:04:55.000 Do not be fooled by these motherfuckers. 1.00
00:04:59.000 So I'm on that train, and I feel that disdain. 1.00
00:05:05.000 And I'm watching on my phone David Wayne, who just did a beautiful documentary about the dude who did Animal House, a nigga that killed himself. 1.00
00:05:17.000 And I just live with that hatred, you know, and I just ignore it. 0.92
00:05:21.000 I just let it roll off my back.
00:05:22.000 You know, I got a right to be here.
00:05:24.000 I'm sorry I ruined your fun.
00:05:27.000 And I walk around New York City and people are saying, move it, excuse me. 0.95
00:05:34.000 You know, they don't want a black man in their way, move it boy! 1.00
00:05:36.000 I got homeless niggas coming up to me, they expect me to pay them, calling me brother. 1.00
00:05:43.000 Why don't you ask the white people for money? 0.98
00:05:46.000 Why are you always asking a brother? 0.97
00:05:48.000 I'm not your brother!
00:05:53.000 And it gets stressful.
00:05:54.000 And it drives a man to drink.
00:05:56.000 It drives a man... You know, Sean King, my brother Sean King, was talking about a friend of his that is in jail serving time right now.
00:06:04.000 He's upstate.
00:06:06.000 Because he trashed a convenience store out of, as Sean King put it, anger and pain.
00:06:12.000 He just snapped.
00:06:13.000 You know, Chuck D said this with Public Enemy.
00:06:15.000 He said, when we were brought here,
00:06:17.000 We lost our religion, our gods.
00:06:20.000 Actually, I believe he was quoting Farrakhan.
00:06:22.000 I believe it's actually a Farrakhan sample, but Chuck D brought it to my ear holes via Public Enemy.
00:06:29.000 We lost everything we held dear.
00:06:32.000 And many of us, by the way we act, we even lost our minds.
00:06:36.000 And that's why you see so much crime and hatred and rage in the black community, because we lost our minds. 1.00
00:06:46.000 From this racism, from this constant abuse and hatred.
00:06:51.000 So, I went to a bar that I go to near my office downtown, near Rockefeller Center.
00:06:57.000 And it's a dive bar.
00:06:58.000 They got a lot of Irish bars there, because they got a lot of white tourism.
00:07:01.000 And when the white man travels from Ireland, he wants to have his Guinness.
00:07:06.000 Ironically, my family is Jamaican, and we drink Guinness too, but it's part of the colonization, so I avoid it. 0.99
00:07:11.000 I have Hennessy.
00:07:14.000 But I sat down at the bar. 1.00
00:07:17.000 And... Motherfucker didn't even look at me. 1.00
00:07:20.000 The man next to me, you could tell he didn't want me in this Irish bar. 1.00
00:07:23.000 We were back in 1955 again.
00:07:25.000 And what's the first thing he do?
00:07:28.000 He move over.
00:07:30.000 He move over about a foot.
00:07:32.000 Cause he didn't want to be near me. 0.81
00:07:33.000 He didn't want to be next to the negro. 1.00
00:07:36.000 And I just ignore it, man. 0.55
00:07:37.000 I order my Hennessy and I sit there.
00:07:39.000 That man sits away from me.
00:07:42.000 And uh...
00:07:45.000 I hear him talking to other people, white people, right?
00:07:48.000 And it turns out that this man is from South Africa.
00:07:52.000 He's Portuguese by ethnic descent.
00:07:56.000 He's a fisherman.
00:07:57.000 And that man
00:07:59.000 Likely grew up in apartheid South Africa. 1.00
00:08:03.000 Can you believe this shit? 1.00
00:08:03.000 We're back to the trains again. 1.00
00:08:05.000 I had that analogy on the train when it was like apartheid and then here I am at this bar and this man has brought his apartheid from South Africa and he's brought it to this bar and no one has a problem with it.
00:08:16.000 And he moves away from me.
00:08:17.000 He looks away from me the entire time.
00:08:21.000 Thinking we're in Soweto. 1.00
00:08:23.000 Well guess what motherfucker? 0.99
00:08:24.000 I ain't gonna play Sun City and I ain't gonna play that. 1.00
00:08:28.000 Y'all think you can just bring that apartheid everywhere you go?
00:08:31.000 No.
00:08:32.000 Africa is mine.
00:08:34.000 I'm an African-American.
00:08:39.000 And that's the same bar, by the way.
00:08:41.000 I was there on MLK Day.
00:08:42.000 God bless him.
00:08:43.000 Peace be upon him.
00:08:45.000 And there was a black brother in there from UPS.
00:08:50.000 And the bar was pretty empty.
00:08:53.000 Not a lot of people were working that day.
00:08:54.000 Of course, white man had me working that day.
00:08:56.000 Because he don't care about Martin Luther King.
00:08:59.000 Because racism is alive and well today!
00:09:03.000 They were saying to this black man, not to me, ignore me, but they're saying to the black man, my brother, UPS brother, in his browns, brown man in brown uniform, brown shorts on, brown socks, brown shoes. 0.87
00:09:16.000 You know, a lot of these people, they just hate the color brown, basically. 0.98
00:09:19.000 That's why they hate Mexicans, too. 0.99
00:09:21.000 They don't like brown people. 1.00
00:09:23.000 And he said that you, you know, in that white voice, he's like, you gotta work on MLK Day? 0.97
00:09:28.000 Whoa, that's an outrage!
00:09:31.000 And he's saying it so loud that I could hear it.
00:09:34.000 And he's trying to score points with me. 0.99
00:09:38.000 And I'm like, y'all, I can hear your ass. 1.00
00:09:40.000 You don't get a race. 0.99
00:09:41.000 I'm not getting you a get out of jail free card because you're outraged.
00:09:45.000 And by the way, your bar's open today.
00:09:48.000 You got someone working in this bar.
00:09:50.000 Y'all don't care about MLK.
00:09:51.000 Y'all don't care about Dr. King.
00:10:02.000 Um.
00:10:05.000 You know, then I get home and I have problems with my girl, my baby girl, and she didn't do well on a test.
00:10:12.000 And the way I have to discipline her, the way I discipline all my children, is I take away what we call screen time.
00:10:18.000 And screen time can be TV, it can be your iPad, it can be your iPhone, it's whatever screen you think is what's up.
00:10:27.000 And with her, her iPhone is what's up.
00:10:30.000 So no iPhone this whole week.
00:10:32.000 And my wife, she's a woman who sees a black man in her home and I know that she doubts my authority. 0.97
00:10:41.000 Because she thinks a black man can't run things. 1.00
00:10:42.000 You know, you don't see black quarterbacks that often in the NFL. 0.95
00:10:45.000 You definitely do not see black managers of football teams.
00:10:50.000 And I think that gets into her.
00:10:51.000 That systemic racism gets into my marriage.
00:10:55.000 And I can see her doubting my word.
00:10:58.000 And this is the worst part.
00:10:59.000 Now I might tear up, I swear to God, y'all.
00:11:03.000 It makes me doubt myself.
00:11:05.000 It makes me doubt my own authority as a man.
00:11:09.000 As a man in this country, in America.
00:11:17.000 And I know what's really going on with us is she thinks a black man leaves.
00:11:21.000 She believes these statistics that a black man don't stand by his kid. 0.53
00:11:25.000 So she won't say what she means because she's scared I'm gonna leave.
00:11:36.000 And that's another way that it affects me in my day-to-day.
00:11:43.000 Alright.
00:11:45.000 Seriously folks, I didn't do that.
00:11:47.000 I stole the idea from Chadwick Moore.
00:11:50.000 He said he had this mentality where, oh that's because I'm gay, right?
00:11:54.000 And uh... 0.90
00:11:56.000 You're in New York City, where it's uncool not to be gay. 0.99
00:11:59.000 You can get straight bashed. 0.99
00:12:02.000 Actually, that's true. 0.99
00:12:03.000 I've heard of guys getting roughed up in gay bars and kicked out.
00:12:06.000 We used to go to this bar called The Hole, and it was cheap beer and super fun, so we sort of took it over, and there was so much hatred.
00:12:15.000 So much straight hate at us for taking over their bar.
00:12:19.000 Like, they would scowl at us.
00:12:20.000 No one got beat up, I'm exaggerating.
00:12:22.000 There's definitely some, some heterophobia there.
00:12:25.000 But Chadwick said that one day he just went, you know what, I'm going to pretend I'm not gay and see if, like I'm not going to act gay, I'm going to dress normal and see if it's all in my head.
00:12:36.000 And he discovered, yeah, I had a victim mentality and I was making everything about my sexuality, but it isn't.
00:12:45.000 And he said it was a very freeing moment for him.
00:12:47.000 Now, he was on Tucker saying this to a black woman. 0.94
00:12:49.000 He said, if I could just take your brain out and put it in a white woman and you could live that day, you'd see that it's New York City. 1.00
00:12:57.000 The city is full of assholes. 1.00
00:12:59.000 People aren't mean to you because you're black. 1.00
00:13:01.000 They're mean to you because it's New York. 0.99
00:13:03.000 It's the cruelest city.
00:13:05.000 It's ruthless.
00:13:06.000 I had a friend's daughter asking me about intern opportunities.
00:13:09.000 I said, I can give you some, but I want you to know this isn't sex in the city. 0.97
00:13:13.000 This is rape in the city. 1.00
00:13:15.000 So unless you're rich and you're going to be in the West Village or the Upper East Side or something or Williamsburg or the East Village, you know, above Houston, then I'm not, I don't want to encourage you to come down here because partying in East New York and Bushwick,
00:13:27.000 Looks cool, but it's really dangerous.
00:13:30.000 Especially if you're a naive small-town girl from Canada. 1.00
00:13:35.000 But, uh, he said that on Tucker Carlson, and of course that was misconstrued as, uh, it was misconstrued as, um, he's telling a black woman to try walking in a white woman's shoes for a change.
00:13:48.000 Like, white women have it so hard. 1.00
00:13:50.000 It's like, no, he's saying the opposite of that.
00:13:53.000 He's saying when you have that mentality, everything starts becoming a thing.
00:13:57.000 It's called paranoia.
00:14:00.000 So anyway, I really did do this for the better part of a day.
00:14:04.000 I was a black man in my head, and I made everything racial. 0.99
00:14:07.000 And it was amazing how many things, if I'd written them down, and I told you I was black, you would go, holy crap, that sucks. 1.00
00:14:15.000 It sucks what you have to go through. 0.99
00:14:17.000 So I'm gonna go back over what I just said. 0.98
00:14:20.000 Yes, the quiet car is predominantly white.
00:14:24.000 I don't have a good reason for that.
00:14:26.000 Anyone is allowed on the quiet car.
00:14:29.000 White guys, I've noticed in the morning on the train from the suburbs, they tend to be doing work. 0.58
00:14:35.000 I'm sorry, this is just something I've noticed.
00:14:37.000 Younger people, women, people of color, my general observation, and I apologize for saying this with my eyeballs, has been they tend to want to have conversations, they watch TV on their phones, they're not doing work. 1.00
00:14:50.000 Sorry!
00:14:52.000 So the quiet car, for whatever reason, has a white predilection.
00:14:55.000 Now I did walk on, and I was dressed in my men's jacket, whatever, and there was weird looks I got. 0.98
00:15:01.000 I do look a little weird, but the looks I got was, oh shit, more people in the quiet car. 0.92
00:15:06.000 I wanted to be all alone. 0.95
00:15:07.000 I wanted this whole car to myself, because it's really hard to get to, the quiet car.
00:15:11.000 You have to walk for about five minutes.
00:15:12.000 These trains are long.
00:15:14.000 So by the time you get there, often if it's not like peak time, you can often have the entire car to yourself and then you feel like you have a private jet.
00:15:22.000 Hello, take me in my giant chair room to the city please.
00:15:27.000 Onward Jeeves!
00:15:29.000 And if it's an express, I mean you're living like Howard Hughes.
00:15:33.000 So when I show up, I ruin this Howard Hughes fantasy.
00:15:36.000 Even if there's two or three guys, I take down the specialness of the magic car a little bit.
00:15:41.000 Nothing to do with race.
00:15:43.000 At all.
00:15:45.000 I didn't have a ghetto blaster.
00:15:46.000 I wasn't making any noise.
00:15:48.000 I didn't intend to make calls.
00:15:49.000 I wasn't on my phone.
00:15:50.000 They were just bummed that I was diluting the social equation of the quiet car. 0.69
00:15:54.000 And if I was black, I could have made it a black thing. 1.00
00:15:56.000 Which I did at the beginning of this podcast.
00:15:59.000 Next event. 0.97
00:16:03.000 Walking down the street, getting shoved around, tossed around, treated like garbage. 0.99
00:16:07.000 That's New York. 0.99
00:16:09.000 I'm a rich white guy in a three-piece suit.
00:16:12.000 I get jostled and shoved and told to move.
00:16:16.000 I get bums coming up to me with some cockamamie story. 0.99
00:16:18.000 I had a bum the other day.
00:16:19.000 My thing with bums is I just go, no! 1.00
00:16:21.000 Just get out of the way. 0.64
00:16:22.000 I feel like that's the best thing to do.
00:16:24.000 Actually, back when, you know when you're at that age, maybe 20, you're at a bar and a bum is there because you're at some cheap bar that's like dollar beers or whatever? 1.00
00:16:32.000 And you end up talking to a bum because you're so open-minded and cool and you don't care that he smells like foreskin and BO because you're so awesome and open-minded. 0.99
00:16:43.000 That's a phase you all have to go through. 0.94
00:16:46.000 And then you're like, where do you sleep at night?
00:16:48.000 And he goes, I go to this dude's house.
00:16:50.000 He jerks me off and he lets me sleep on his couch. 1.00
00:16:54.000 Oh, are you gay? 1.00
00:16:55.000 Nah, it's just a place where if it's raining that I go. 1.00
00:17:00.000 Oh, I guess I'm never speaking to you guys again.
00:17:02.000 That's really, really freaky.
00:17:04.000 Uh, I can't fit that in my head.
00:17:06.000 Now I'm gonna have nightmares. 0.99
00:17:09.000 But back when I was dumb enough to talk to moms, I remember one of them going, look, don't, if you don't have change, don't do that shit about, oh, sorry, I don't got change. 0.99
00:17:18.000 Just say no. 0.99
00:17:19.000 So I do that.
00:17:20.000 And it works 95% of the time.
00:17:23.000 I just look him right in the eyes and go, no, I don't lie.
00:17:25.000 I got tons of change.
00:17:26.000 You can't have it.
00:17:28.000 No.
00:17:29.000 Now I give to charity through the Knights of Columbus, raise money for um...
00:17:35.000 Various charitable groups, the sisters, get them diapers, blah, blah, blah.
00:17:39.000 Do turkey runs at Thanksgiving.
00:17:41.000 Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean.
00:17:42.000 But I'm not giving it, I'm not in the mood, I'm not gonna stop and give you quarters so you can go buy smack. 0.99
00:17:47.000 And this one guy the other day goes, look at my face, motherfucker, my name's Paul. 1.00
00:17:52.000 I'm gonna fuck you in the ass, and I want you to remember that Paul's fucking you in the ass. 1.00
00:17:57.000 Okay, how many quarters do I got here? 1.00
00:17:59.000 It's actually a Bill Hicks bit, almost verbatim, but it really happened. 0.97
00:18:05.000 Now, I could have made that about being black, and the black bums always come to me. 1.00
00:18:09.000 No, the bums come to everyone's. 1.00
00:18:11.000 And when you walk around New York City, everyone is a mean jerk. 1.00
00:18:14.000 It's overcrowded. 1.00
00:18:16.000 Alright, let's get to the bar.
00:18:19.000 MLK Day.
00:18:20.000 Yeah, I think the owner was pandering to that UPS guy.
00:18:25.000 That's corny.
00:18:26.000 It's a bar that's at a place that's usually pretty white.
00:18:32.000 I don't know.
00:18:32.000 It's an Irish bar.
00:18:33.000 It's kind of expensive, the pints.
00:18:35.000 I don't know.
00:18:36.000 You usually get business guys who are alcoholics, like myself, just grabbing a quick beer in between meetings or whatever.
00:18:43.000 And he was pandering to that black UPS guy, but I'm not black and I could have made that about me too.
00:18:50.000 The other time, 0.85
00:18:51.000 We're good to go.
00:19:10.000 And he's like, hold on, I've got to work on my South African.
00:19:15.000 I'm from South Africa.
00:19:18.000 And he was saying, so you're going to head home soon?
00:19:21.000 Yeah.
00:19:22.000 All right.
00:19:23.000 Well, I mean, you can have one more.
00:19:27.000 It's been nine months you've been cooped up in that house.
00:19:29.000 You can have one more with me.
00:19:32.000 That's why he wasn't turning to face me.
00:19:34.000 He was quietly hitting on this woman who just had a baby, who was having her first drink after like 10 months of cabin fever.
00:19:41.000 He expected a BJ.
00:19:42.000 He was white, by the way, like Portuguese white. 0.95
00:19:45.000 Yes, South African.
00:19:48.000 Had nothing to do with me, but of course if I was black, I could have went, oh great, a South African can't be near me. 0.99
00:19:56.000 And yes,
00:19:57.000 When I got home, my wife is bummed that I was so hard on my daughter for doing so badly on the test. 1.00
00:20:02.000 She is a Midwesterner.
00:20:04.000 She's from Madison, Wisconsin.
00:20:06.000 They're not confrontational people.
00:20:08.000 I'm a Scottish person, genetically, who's been living in the big city, Montreal and New York, since I was 18.
00:20:16.000 So I've become quite accustomed to yelling and screaming and confrontation.
00:20:21.000 In fact, I like it.
00:20:22.000 And with my job,
00:20:24.000 Even back at, uh, even my previous jobs, people always wanted to kill me and stuff.
00:20:28.000 I'd give a band a bad review and they'd want to murder me.
00:20:31.000 So I'm used to, like, you know, being threatened at all times.
00:20:34.000 I don't mind it at all.
00:20:36.000 But my wife, you know, she's nice, she's been to fashion, she did fashion PR.
00:20:40.000 She like, doesn't like conflict, and that's what a good marriage is, right?
00:20:43.000 I told you that story a million years ago about the little kid who pooed his pants at the airport.
00:20:47.000 I was in the next stall, and I heard the dad going, what the hell's the matter with you?
00:20:50.000 You can't keep your... 1.00
00:20:52.000 Shit, your pants! 1.00
00:20:52.000 Now I gotta throw your underwear away! 1.00
00:20:54.000 Goddammit, you're a big boy! 1.00
00:20:55.000 And he's crying.
00:20:57.000 And then he goes back to the gate.
00:20:58.000 We were at the same gate.
00:20:59.000 And I see the mother- He's just on his phone, the dad, now, in a rage.
00:21:02.000 And then I see the mother consoling the boy and stroking his hair.
00:21:05.000 He was probably... eight?
00:21:07.000 They're both right. 1.00
00:21:10.000 Get your shit together, literally. 1.00
00:21:11.000 Don't poo your pants. 1.00
00:21:13.000 It's a pain in the ass. 1.00
00:21:15.000 Not literally. 1.00
00:21:15.000 Uh, now your dad has to wipe up at the airport waiting for a flight. 1.00
00:21:18.000 He's gotta wash poo off your legs? 0.99
00:21:20.000 The hell's the matter with you? 1.00
00:21:23.000 Also, from the mom's perspective, shit happens. 1.00
00:21:27.000 You poo your pants. 1.00
00:21:28.000 I personally do it maybe once a year.
00:21:30.000 As George Brett says, I'm good for those about once a year.
00:21:34.000 And you should be consoled if your dad yelled at you.
00:21:36.000 That's why it's so important to have two parents.
00:21:40.000 So, our family is like that.
00:21:41.000 It's a normal family.
00:21:42.000 I'm the corrections officer, I bust balls, and then they go to mom and get a hug when they find out that they can't look at their iPhone for a week.
00:21:49.000 Until they get their math grades up. 0.97
00:21:53.000 I could have made that a black thing. 1.00
00:21:57.000 Anyway, this reminds me of a great sketch that says exactly what I'm saying by Key and Peele.
00:22:02.000 And if it's easier for you to hear this point from black people, then I can play it for you. 0.98
00:22:05.000 But this is a very long sketch.
00:22:08.000 It's three minutes.
00:22:09.000 I won't play the whole thing, but I'll just play some of it.
00:22:12.000 And it's called Office Homophobe. 0.95
00:22:14.000 So Peele plays a black gay dude. 0.98
00:22:17.000 Forget the race here. 0.99
00:22:18.000 This is just Peele plays the gay dude and Key plays a guy.
00:22:22.000 Wait, am I getting their names right?
00:22:25.000 Which one is which?
00:22:27.000 Peele is... yeah, Peele's the guy who did Get Out.
00:22:30.000 It must be weird when you're partners and then you're a team and then one of them skyrockets off to fame.
00:22:37.000 Like, uh, Peele is now a legend on the cover of magazines and he is just doing quite well.
00:22:45.000 That must be a trip, right?
00:22:47.000 Wow, you got another movie deal!
00:22:49.000 I mean, we came here together, hitchhiked to Los Angeles together, and you're really... Rah!
00:22:54.000 Cover of Vanity Fair!
00:22:55.000 Remember when I photoshopped myself on the cover of Vanity Fair?
00:22:59.000 Well, that's you now for real!
00:23:02.000 Anyway, you wanna get a beer?
00:23:03.000 Yeah, you're busy.
00:23:03.000 I know, I get it.
00:23:05.000 That happened to Kristen Wiig. 1.00
00:23:06.000 Her and her husband moved to New York to conquer comedy.
00:23:09.000 And then two years later, it's like Bridesmaids, starring our favorite comic ever, the funniest person in the world, Christian Wig.
00:23:17.000 Meanwhile, her husband is at Yuck Yucks going, what's with pencils?
00:23:21.000 I mean, do people still use those?
00:23:24.000 They got divorced, of course.
00:23:25.000 All right, so this is cool black people saying what I just said.
00:23:36.000 What's up baby girl?
00:23:38.000 Why you don't like my music?
00:23:39.000 Oh.
00:23:49.000 I get it.
00:23:50.000 You don't like my music because I'm gay. 0.98
00:23:52.000 You can't handle a gay man's music. 1.00
00:23:55.000 No, no, no. 0.99
00:23:56.000 I'm trying to work here and that music is weirdly sexual.
00:24:00.000 Oh, I see.
00:24:01.000 So, my sexuality is weird.
00:24:05.000 You just can't fathom a man being attracted to another man.
00:24:09.000 This is sort of like that Jordan B. Peterson interview where she kept saying, what was it, Channel 4?
00:24:14.000 She kept saying, so what you're saying is that rape is often a viable sexual alternative.
00:24:21.000 And he would go, no. 0.84
00:24:23.000 Because these people, when you get in this mindset, these liberals, these persecuted victims, they have a funnel for a brain.
00:24:31.000 And the end of the funnel is,
00:24:33.000 I'm persecuted.
00:24:34.000 I can't.
00:24:35.000 There's no sense in trying.
00:24:36.000 And that's why I said that thing about the talk at the beginning where you have to work twice as hard and the cops can shoot you.
00:24:41.000 It's a very crippling mentality.
00:24:43.000 Why bother trying, right?
00:24:45.000 If it's no good.
00:24:46.000 If everyone's out to get me. 0.99
00:24:48.000 And so she had her mentality of Jordan B. Peterson is a sexist, whatever, evil fascist. 0.96
00:24:54.000 And when he said something that didn't fit that, she'd say, so you're saying, that's her funnel. 0.93
00:24:59.000 And then we go down to that little tiny hole at the bottom, which was her worldview.
00:25:05.000 I can fathom it.
00:25:06.000 It's... Can you just please listen to some other gay music like Barbra Streisand or something? 1.00
00:25:10.000 Anything that's... Oh, I see.
00:25:11.000 I see. 0.96
00:25:11.000 Okay, so listening to Barbra Streisand is gay. 0.96
00:25:16.000 Stereotype much? 0.60
00:25:21.000 By the way, Key & Peele is one of the best written comedy shows in the history of comedy.
00:25:26.000 There are so many, like, sometimes I go back over SCTV and, or, you know, John Belushi era SNL, because I remember it as being so amazing, but then I realize I have selective memory and I've cherry-picked all the hits, like the sketch Halfwits.
00:25:41.000 But there's a lot of duds there. 1.00
00:25:43.000 Conversely, Key and Peele, I will go back over some old sketches and go, there's a lot of slam dunks in this one episode.
00:25:52.000 It's kind of Greatest Hits-y.
00:25:53.000 It's like Andrew W.K.'
00:25:54.000 's second album.
00:25:55.000 All right, I'll jump ahead here.
00:25:58.000 That's a close-up of- I'm fairly certain you're going to show me some- And et cetera.
00:26:04.000 Oh my God.
00:26:06.000 Can I show you a picture and then you tell me if it's good for Facebook?
00:26:09.000 Okay, I'm fairly certain you're going to show me something overtly sexual.
00:26:13.000 Don't you prejudge me!
00:26:14.000 Here it is.
00:26:15.000 Ah! 0.98
00:26:17.000 That's a close-up of an anus. 0.96
00:26:19.000 Oh, no, that's not an anus. 0.99
00:26:22.000 That's my anus, baby girl. 1.00
00:26:24.000 That's disgusting. 1.00
00:26:26.000 Oh, I see. 1.00
00:26:27.000 So you don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus, because you hate gay men! 1.00
00:26:30.000 No! 1.00
00:26:31.000 I don't want to look at a close-up picture of anyone's anus. 1.00
00:26:35.000 Homophobe. 0.99
00:26:37.000 There's a homophobe right here. 0.99
00:26:37.000 Homophobe. 0.99
00:26:41.000 That whistle he's blowing into is penis-shaped. 1.00
00:26:43.000 Homophobe alert! 1.00
00:26:44.000 Homophobe! 0.98
00:26:46.000 Woo woo woo woo! 0.90
00:26:48.000 And now I show up, and guess who I am?
00:26:53.000 I am Peele's boyfriend. 0.69
00:26:55.000 Turns out this homophobe is dating yours truly.
00:26:58.000 Hey baby. 0.91
00:27:01.000 I kiss him.
00:27:02.000 Ready to go to lunch?
00:27:03.000 Key is freaked out.
00:27:05.000 Uh, Luttrell, this is Gavin.
00:27:06.000 Gavin, this is Luttrell.
00:27:07.000 This is my boyfriend.
00:27:08.000 How you doing?
00:27:10.000 I'm-I'm-I'm doing very well.
00:27:11.000 How-how are you doing, Gavin?
00:27:13.000 Gavin?
00:27:14.000 Fine.
00:27:15.000 Wanna go?
00:27:15.000 Yeah.
00:27:16.000 Nice to meet you.
00:27:17.000 No, trust me, it's not.
00:27:18.000 That's the guy.
00:27:18.000 It's not?
00:27:21.000 Oh, I get it.
00:27:23.000 I'm not persecuted. 1.00
00:27:24.000 I'm just an asshole. 1.00
00:27:27.000 Now, they ruined it with the beep. 1.00
00:27:29.000 But he's saying, I'm not persecuted. 1.00
00:27:31.000 I'm just an asshole. 1.00
00:27:33.000 I'm not saying black people are assholes, but I'm saying what Chadwick was saying, which is just sort of pull your brain out and replace it with a non-victim just for a day. 1.00
00:27:45.000 Like, if you think everything is racist, just pretend you're Don Draper for a day. 1.00
00:27:52.000 We're good to go.
00:28:07.000 Yes, there's a sordid past to this country.
00:28:10.000 It was not perfect.
00:28:11.000 But it's 2018 today, and no one's out to get you.
00:28:16.000 No one cares.
00:28:18.000 The Klan is not waiting to gallop around the corner and persecute you. 0.99
00:28:22.000 There's not a fag basher in a pickup truck coming by to beat you up. 1.00
00:28:25.000 There's not a bunch of trans murderers that don't want you to exist. 1.00
00:28:29.000 When we tell fat ladies, 1.00
00:28:30.000 You're overweight. 0.99
00:28:31.000 It's not that we hate you. 0.95
00:28:32.000 We're just telling you a fact.
00:28:33.000 We don't really care what you do.
00:28:35.000 People are busy doing their own thing.
00:28:37.000 They have their own families, their own job.
00:28:39.000 They just want to get through the day and make a bit of money and save some money, pay off some debt, get a burrito, for crying out loud. 0.98
00:28:51.000 Try being a black man for a day if you're white and you'll see all this persecution you're getting because you're black. 0.97
00:28:57.000 And black people, pretend you're white for a day and see if you can't explain away a lot of the things that you thought were prejudices could just be happening because you're in New York or wherever you are. 0.99
00:29:10.000 They could be happening to white people too. 0.65
00:29:12.000 And I'm extrapolating that black and white
00:29:14.000 To trans, to gay, as Chadwick did, to obese, to albino, to whatever. 0.80
00:29:23.000 People just want to get along.
00:29:25.000 The ones that are antagonistic, they've been going extinct for the past, I don't know, billion years?
00:29:33.000 Slowly being chipped away by evolution.
00:29:35.000 Give it a try, be nice, and you'll be surprised how nice everyone else is.