Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 27, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #28 | You Know Those Guys Who Refuse to Grow Up?

Topics
teacher feminism brainwashing
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Artie Lang Mike Magazine Pokemon Sean King Lie Peter Cottontail Def Leppard Spider-Man Comic-Con Steve Arthur Fonzarelli Michael Jackson Grandma Nurbaum Sarah Silverman Michael Jordan Chadwick Moore Marlon Brando Ralphie Mabe Tony Soprano Charles Cole Dan Donnelly and 18 more
Get Off My Lawn #88 | Help Us Get Off My Lawn #90 | Ticking Time Bum

Episode Stats


Length

28 minutes

Words per minute

168.92

Word count

4,786

Sentence count

441

Harmful content

Misogyny

39

sentences flagged

Toxicity

98

sentences flagged

Hate speech

24

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Thick & Thin I discuss the perils of being a grown man in your late 20s and early 30s. I also talk about my friend Artie Lang and how he likes hanging out with teenagers and how it makes him feel like a kid. And I talk about how I don't want to go to a movie theater with my kids and how I'd rather kiss a homeless man with a weird pee breath for 40 seconds than go see a Peter Cottontail movie with kids. And we talk about why women should have more roles in movies and why men need to do what men do in movies, and why women need to be more badass. I also give my thoughts on what I would do if I had a successful magazine called Mike Magazine, and I compare it to People Magazine, where we just compare different Mike's. And I make a case for why men should get on the cover of a magazine called Mics, where they don't even have a birth certificate, they're just big mics, and it's just a magazine with only mics. . . . and I discuss why women have to be badass and why we need more badass women in movies and why feminism is a bad idea. and how we need to get more badass in movies. Also, I explain why I think women should be in more action movies, not less badass women. I don t think women in action movies should be bad, but I do think they should be badass in action roles, which is why we should be good in action scenes, not just action roles. Thanks for listening to this episode, and if you like it, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and tweet me a review! if you re a fan of the podcast, I'll be listening to the podcast and I'll read it in the podcast next week. :) Tweet me what you think of it! Timestamps: 5 stars! 5 stars is a review of this episode and a review? 4 stars is much more than 5 stars, a review is a tweet or a review, and you re listening to it on Insta: a review or a tweet about it? or something like that's a review or a description of it's a good thing, right? I'll post it on your thoughts on the podcast or a good one, I'm looking forward to it, so I'll send it to you in the next one?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You know those guys who refuse to grow up?
00:00:04.000 It's, uh, getting worse, really.
00:00:07.000 I think the average video game player is something like 34 years old.
00:00:14.000 And I see a lot of guys, especially black guys, by the way, with superhero shirts and superhero tattoos, like Wolverine is big with black dudes.
00:00:23.000 But, I mean, you go to Comic-Con and it's, there's, it's not even predominantly kids at Comic-Con.
00:00:31.000 And you're looking at it, I feel like just saying to them, you realize that Spider-Man was invented for not just seven-year-olds, but seven-year-old nerds who were getting picked on and wanted to fantasize about a world where they could just beat up the bully.
00:00:47.000 And as they got shoved around, the sort of release for them was, these guys don't even know who they're messing with. 0.84
00:00:55.000 I could punch my fist right through their faces, make their moms cry forever. 0.98
00:01:01.000 But I won't. 1.00
00:01:02.000 I'll just sit here and take it.
00:01:03.000 Because I'm secretly Spider-Man.
00:01:06.000 And it's like an escape for a sad guy.
00:01:10.000 A sad little kid.
00:01:12.000 You're a grown man.
00:01:14.000 And you're arguing about Spider-Man.
00:01:19.000 You know all the different spellings.
00:01:20.000 The one without the dash and with the dash.
00:01:23.000 I know all this, of course, because I have kids.
00:01:25.000 That's why I'm familiar with superheroes.
00:01:27.000 And by the way,
00:01:28.000 There's times when watching a superhero movie with kids is cool.
00:01:32.000 Like Thor Ragnarok or whatever it's called.
00:01:35.000 That was fun.
00:01:36.000 It wasn't as fun as going to a bar and joking around with guys my age.
00:01:41.000 That's my ideal, for the record. 0.80
00:01:43.000 Actually, sex with my wife is probably better than that, but they're in the same zone. 0.99
00:01:51.000 But as far as having to see a movie with a kid goes, yeah, that's pretty good. 0.98
00:01:55.000 I mean, the worst case scenario is that Peter Cottontail movie.
00:01:58.000 My wife was buying tickets yesterday and I just said I can't physically go.
00:02:02.000 I can't watch CGI bunnies fight a guy. 0.89
00:02:07.000 I'd rather, honestly, totally honestly, kiss a homeless man with his weird pee breath for 0.93
00:02:19.000 40 seconds? 0.99
00:02:20.000 Maybe not quite 40.
00:02:21.000 35 seconds?
00:02:23.000 Then go see that Peter Cottontail movie.
00:02:25.000 Which I'm told was quite good.
00:02:28.000 But I wanted to talk about my friend of mine, Artie.
00:02:30.000 Not Artie Lang.
00:02:32.000 Totally not related. 0.59
00:02:34.000 It would be so stupid to compare them just because their name's Artie. 0.86
00:02:37.000 Let's focus on two Arties today. 0.99
00:02:40.000 That would be a funny magazine.
00:02:43.000 Mike Magazine.
00:02:44.000 Where we just compare different Mikes.
00:02:45.000 This Mike has a basketball training camp.
00:02:48.000 This Mike's dying of AIDS.
00:02:50.000 And uh...
00:02:51.000 It's an interesting contrast in mics.
00:02:54.000 If I had a successful magazine called Mike Magazine, mics would, it would be their ambition to get on the cover. 1.00
00:03:00.000 I'd make, I need to see their birth certificate, by the way.
00:03:02.000 No changing your name to Mike.
00:03:04.000 But Michael Jackson would have made it to the cover.
00:03:06.000 Michael Jordan, obviously.
00:03:07.000 Just, just big mics in the scene.
00:03:10.000 The top mics.
00:03:12.000 And sometimes you'd have a fun mic that no one knows about, like a helicopter mechanic.
00:03:18.000 Just a fun, it'd be like People Magazine.
00:03:20.000 There'd be a lot of celebrity mics.
00:03:24.000 But occasionally, you know, you just have a regular mic in Mic Magazine.
00:03:29.000 It's just a magazine buy-in for mics, and the staff could only be mics.
00:03:33.000 In that instance, I wouldn't insist you had a birth certificate.
00:03:36.000 You could just change your name to Mike, or be known as Mike.
00:03:40.000 Anyway, what the hell am I talking about?
00:03:41.000 So this guy already is an interesting case in this wrinkled teenager.
00:03:48.000 I like to call them the perpetual adolescents, and I find it profoundly sad.
00:03:57.000 I think what a lot of these guys do is it's some sort of PTSD from childhood.
00:04:01.000 I know Artie was abandoned by his dad at a young age, and he likes feeling like a dad.
00:04:07.000 He hangs out with teenagers, basically.
00:04:10.000 He's in his 30s, I believe, and his friends
00:04:15.000 That he hangs out with are teenagers and early 20s.
00:04:23.000 He reminds me of this phase that guys my age see happen.
00:04:28.000 It's probably different for you, but when I was 13, 1983, big year.
00:04:34.000 It's that year I talked about on another podcast where women go from being gross 1.00
00:04:39.000 Being crappy men? 0.99
00:04:40.000 Which is what feminists are today, by the way. 1.00
00:04:42.000 This Antifa chicks that want to fight you. 1.00
00:04:44.000 You're just a crappy man. 0.99
00:04:45.000 I was reading a great article about it last night where they said this whole idea of feminism meaning women have to be badass and they have to do what men do. 1.00
00:04:53.000 You're saying that what men do is the best.
00:04:56.000 So we need more female directors. 1.00
00:04:57.000 We need more females in action movies. 1.00
00:04:59.000 We need more females doing male roles. 1.00
00:05:01.000 In other words, male roles are the best.
00:05:03.000 No one's saying we need more men giving birth.
00:05:06.000 We need more men staying at home. 1.00
00:05:08.000 We need more men cooking. 1.00
00:05:09.000 Although, I guess they do kind of say that.
00:05:11.000 We need more men doing arts and crafts. 0.99
00:05:12.000 That's not really the push of feminism. 1.00
00:05:14.000 The push of feminism is we need men doing men's, women doing men's stuff because men are the best. 1.00
00:05:21.000 Sorry about this cough.
00:05:24.000 I've already done like two interviews in a show.
00:05:27.000 Before this, so one only has a certain amount of voice chi in his soul a day.
00:05:34.000 And I've already spent mine.
00:05:36.000 But anyway, so you turn 12, and you start getting kind of horny, but not really.
00:05:41.000 You don't know what it is.
00:05:43.000 You think a boner's the thing, but you don't really understand what's happening in your body.
00:05:48.000 And then, around the beginning of adolescence, woman become gods. 0.99
00:05:55.000 And you can't believe you ever played Star Wars.
00:05:57.000 Even though it was a year ago, you just go, why was I holding a plastic figurine of Mark Hamill?
00:06:04.000 And then, boom, it's off to the arcade.
00:06:08.000 You've got the Def Leppard concert shirt.
00:06:09.000 My parents wouldn't let me wear that, so I hid it in the bushes.
00:06:12.000 I'd leave wearing a polo and then put on the Def Leppard concert shirt, go to the arcade, try to talk to girls, buy older girls cigarettes with their money, of course. 0.95
00:06:22.000 I don't think so.
00:06:41.000 The ugly freak from Goonies? 0.96
00:06:43.000 He just seems, like, oversized.
00:06:45.000 And he'd be still, he'd be 13, but he'd be with 12-year-olds playing Star Wars still.
00:06:53.000 And you go, it was just so sad.
00:06:56.000 And you'd look in his eyes, and you'd have, like, your Nikes with the tongues pulled up.
00:07:03.000 Sparks, they were called.
00:07:04.000 And your skin-tight jeans needed a coat hanger to do up the zipper.
00:07:07.000 And your feathered back hair. 1.00
00:07:09.000 And then you'd look at him and he still had kind of short hair and a Star Wars shirt and you just go, you fucking loser. 1.00
00:07:18.000 Actually, your brain wasn't even formed enough to know loser. 1.00
00:07:22.000 You just sort of went, what is wrong with that? 0.99
00:07:24.000 It's like when you hear the Koreans eat dogs. 0.99
00:07:27.000 You just go, what?
00:07:28.000 Why are you?
00:07:29.000 That's not what you do.
00:07:31.000 What are you doing?
00:07:34.000 And that's how I feel about these these guys.
00:07:37.000 I mean, today,
00:07:38.000 You go to the park and there's guys playing Pokemon.
00:07:41.000 I actually chased a car.
00:07:43.000 I told that in another podcast where this guy was near my house and he was driving real slow and then stopping and I was like, what are you doing skulking around?
00:07:51.000 So I got in my car and I followed him and then I pulled him over and then he, we had a car chase.
00:07:56.000 And then I went to the police station cause we ended up, I lost him and I ended up, I realized I'm right in front of the police station.
00:08:01.000 So I went in there and I told them the story and they go, yeah, he's playing Pokemon dummy. 0.99
00:08:05.000 Oh yeah, shit. 1.00
00:08:07.000 He's old enough to drive. 1.00
00:08:08.000 16.
00:08:09.000 Why are you collecting Pokemon, guys?
00:08:12.000 And there's no shame in it either, this video game stuff.
00:08:16.000 They're quite proud.
00:08:17.000 It's their identity.
00:08:17.000 They're gamers.
00:08:20.000 I'm a gamer is as stupid as I'm a pot smoker is as stupid as I'm a gay. 1.00
00:08:26.000 It's just a thing you do. 1.00
00:08:27.000 It's not your personality.
00:08:31.000 Anyway.
00:08:33.000 So Artie is this guy.
00:08:34.000 He dropped out of high school.
00:08:37.000 He's kind of a mechanic.
00:08:40.000 I mean, he has a motorbike.
00:08:42.000 I don't even think he has his own car.
00:08:44.000 And he's the cool guy amongst the little kids.
00:08:47.000 Now, little kids to me are, you know, teenagers.
00:08:50.000 And these kids can't drink, so they hang out at pool halls.
00:08:53.000 Sometimes there's Asians who go to pool halls.
00:08:54.000 You notice that?
00:08:55.000 You go to a pool hall, and it's all Asian adolescents, and you realize, oh, you guys can't break down alcohol. 1.00
00:09:01.000 That's why you play pool for fun.
00:09:02.000 I mean, what else are you going to do?
00:09:04.000 Go to a diner?
00:09:04.000 And Artie does go to a diner all the time.
00:09:07.000 He knows the owner.
00:09:07.000 He hangs out there.
00:09:09.000 It's Mr. Cool.
00:09:10.000 He has this sort of like tough guy Italian thing.
00:09:13.000 It's common in New York where they sort of pretend to be wise guys.
00:09:17.000 And yeah, my brother knows him.
00:09:19.000 I know some people.
00:09:20.000 I know some people. 0.96
00:09:21.000 It's like being a wigger, really. 1.00
00:09:22.000 But you're a fake mobster. 0.99
00:09:24.000 These guys are very popular in L.A. 0.95
00:09:28.000 Like, if you have that wise guy, sort of tough guy thing in New York, it's just boring.
00:09:33.000 I mean, you're the guy who, you're the plumber.
00:09:36.000 You're just a union guy from South Brooklyn.
00:09:37.000 I know probably 400 of you guys.
00:09:41.000 But then you go to LA and it's like, hey, how's it going?
00:09:43.000 I'm from the Bronx.
00:09:44.000 Oh my God, I want one of you for my friend collection.
00:09:47.000 I have a blind guy, an old black guy, and I need a Bronx tough guy. 0.96
00:09:53.000 And then it starts getting into their head.
00:09:55.000 Like that guy, what's his name, Coco Ortiz, who tweeted at me.
00:09:59.000 Yo, I understand you were talking about Ralphie Mabe.
00:10:02.000 We're gonna have a problem.
00:10:04.000 You don't tweet threats, Tony Soprano. 1.00
00:10:07.000 You just go kill the guy. 0.91
00:10:09.000 But, you know, these New Yorkers in L.A. 0.99
00:10:13.000 become a stereotype of themselves, and then they get brainwashed by their own fake acting.
00:10:17.000 And I think this is what happened with my buddy.
00:10:20.000 Who doesn't hang out anymore or drink.
00:10:22.000 Never drinks.
00:10:23.000 He just hangs out with the guy.
00:10:25.000 Hey, what's going on?
00:10:26.000 And they love him.
00:10:28.000 They love that he knows about cars.
00:10:29.000 They want him to fix his car.
00:10:31.000 He can do detailing.
00:10:33.000 And he lives in the burbs.
00:10:39.000 Without kids.
00:10:40.000 He actually is renting a room from a suburban family.
00:10:45.000 Who knows him and sometimes he'll go in there.
00:10:47.000 Yo, what's going on?
00:10:48.000 I just, yeah.
00:10:51.000 He didn't grow up with a father, you see.
00:10:53.000 And this is behind the shooting in Florida.
00:10:58.000 This is in two ways, actually.
00:11:01.000 Actually, I think there's two ways you could blame feminism and female over-empowerment on the shooting. 0.99
00:11:06.000 Obviously, there's a million factors, but these two haven't been explored.
00:11:09.000 And I talked about them on Get Off My Lawn, the hit show.
00:11:15.000 Teachers have gone from being nice ladies who recognize that boys will be boys, you know, the diminutive woman with the horn-rimmed beehive glasses, who's like, oh, those boys!
00:11:27.000 Hello!
00:11:29.000 My daughter had a teacher like that at PS 84. 0.87
00:11:32.000 Hello, I understand you're going to bring some of your treasures, she would say, because Sophie was going to bring Indian stuff from the tribe.
00:11:43.000 But then they get on this feminist claptrap, and now these women, and the unions have a lot to do with this. 1.00
00:11:49.000 The unions have brainwashed these women into thinking that they are major political figures, and it's their job to save the children from capitalism and the patriarchy, and teach them that women are Mao. 0.99
00:12:00.000 And they will provide us with the great leap forward. 0.97
00:12:02.000 So they brainwash these kids in thinking America sucks and they're really bossy. 0.93
00:12:06.000 Have you ever noticed this? 0.96
00:12:07.000 You're at a bar or something and there's some teacher there and she's telling you what to do and telling you to move your chair and stuff.
00:12:13.000 Bossing you around on the street.
00:12:15.000 I just had one bossing me around the other day. 0.96
00:12:18.000 What the hell was she? 0.78
00:12:19.000 Oh yeah! 0.96
00:12:19.000 Chadwick Moore and I were on the quiet car. 0.96
00:12:22.000 Which, by the way, doesn't prohibit conversation.
00:12:24.000 It prohibits loud conversation.
00:12:26.000 And she comes over and tells us to keep it down.
00:12:28.000 This is the quiet car.
00:12:30.000 We're making fun of her, calling her a grassroots organizer. 0.97
00:12:33.000 But again, this hubris they have, where they want to pick fights with strangers and stuff.
00:12:37.000 I've talked about that a million times.
00:12:38.000 Anyway, that's the archetypal teacher, fueled by the biggest unions in the world.
00:12:43.000 They put way more money than the NRA.
00:12:45.000 The teachers' unions donate way more money to both sides, and I believe all lobbies combined. 1.00
00:12:51.000 So those teachers, and I'm sorry to repeat what I said on the show, but they brainwash the kids, say, you suck, you suck, you suck, America sucks, patriarchy sucks, this country's stolen, so that pisses them off, and eventually they snap, they go postal. 0.99
00:13:03.000 But I also think we have a culture that glorifies single moms, and we have these one-sided childhoods where the kids learn all the feminine stuff, which is important to know, all boys should have a feminine side, but there's no backbone to it, there's no male side. 1.00
00:13:20.000 So the shooter ends up confused.
00:13:23.000 I believe it's 24 to 26 of the mass shooters have grown up with single moms.
00:13:27.000 So there's two ways feminism can blame the shooters. 1.00
00:13:29.000 And that's one way that my buddy Artie screwed up.
00:13:33.000 Because he hangs around these young kids and he wants to be their dad.
00:13:40.000 And then he likes living in the burbs of that family because that's the family he never had.
00:13:43.000 He was raised by his grandmother for a while.
00:13:47.000 I think her name's Grandma Nurbaum or something, which I realize you're Jewish, dude.
00:13:55.000 He's a Jewish guy who's taken on this persona of the tough Italian. 0.95
00:14:01.000 And he said that once.
00:14:02.000 He goes, he all but admitted that the guy he is now is sort of a character and it's all, you know, everything he wished he could be.
00:14:13.000 And sex is a big thing with the perpetual adolescents I don't get. 0.73
00:14:17.000 Like, I don't get when I was 18, I couldn't wait to get out of the house because I wanted to have chicks. 1.00
00:14:23.000 I wanted to be able to do it without my parents hearing me or without needing their permission.
00:14:29.000 And your libido in your teens, I mean, you could smash coconuts with that thing. 0.99
00:14:34.000 And the idea that you just go, yeah, whatever, I guess I'll just masturbate to porn, and I'll use the Sub-Zero fridge to get fresh raspberries whenever I want, and I won't worry about chicks. 0.99
00:14:44.000 Maybe it's because we had to masturbate to, you know, an old frozen penthouse we found in a snowbank, but I just could not wait to get out of the house. 0.96
00:14:52.000 I believe I left days after my 18th birthday, because that was the limit my parents put on it, and I respected that. 0.93
00:14:59.000 Me and my buddy Steve, poof, gone, 18.
00:15:05.000 These guys that say they're 25, 26, and the same thing goes with Artie.
00:15:10.000 I mean, he can bring home girls, but he doesn't hang out with women.
00:15:14.000 He hangs out with little girls, and I don't think he screws them.
00:15:17.000 One time he showed up.
00:15:19.000 It was so profoundly embarrassing.
00:15:21.000 He showed up at this diner, because I visit him pretty regularly, and he had two dates.
00:15:29.000 Oh, cool, you got two dates?
00:15:31.000 Yeah, they're twins.
00:15:34.000 Oh, like the Double Mint Gum commercial? 0.99
00:15:36.000 Dude, I know you're not having sex with them. 0.99
00:15:39.000 No one has sex with twins. 1.00
00:15:41.000 It's a dumb, Budweiser commercial, ridiculous fantasy that is tantamount, as Sarah Silverman pointed out, to incest. 1.00
00:15:48.000 No, not tantamount. 1.00
00:15:49.000 It is incest! 0.99
00:15:51.000 If you have sex with two twins, you're having sex with a sister and a sister. 0.99
00:15:55.000 That's like having a threesome with a brother and a sister and you. 1.00
00:16:00.000 That's gross! 0.92
00:16:03.000 What do they do, make out? 0.95
00:16:05.000 Yeah, go tell some identical twins you want to watch them make out. 1.00
00:16:08.000 Watch them barf.
00:16:10.000 So all the youngsters were super impressed to see Artie show up with these two twins, and I was deeply ashamed.
00:16:24.000 And I go over there, and I had a few drinks one of the days, and I go, I gotta talk to you, dude.
00:16:31.000 Something is not right with your head.
00:16:32.000 It's like he's frozen in amber.
00:16:35.000 And he goes, let's talk over here.
00:16:38.000 And he takes me to the bathroom.
00:16:40.000 It's got a big bathroom.
00:16:41.000 This thing is like a delicatessen.
00:16:44.000 Like, it's huge.
00:16:45.000 So he takes me into the bathroom to discuss this.
00:16:50.000 And he goes, what's up?
00:16:52.000 And I go, what is going on with you?
00:16:54.000 I called you.
00:16:55.000 I said, let's go out.
00:16:56.000 I know girls I can hook you up with. 0.99
00:16:59.000 And he goes, I got more girls I know what to do with here. 0.99
00:17:02.000 And I said, you're a big fish in a small pond.
00:17:05.000 And he says, I don't know what you mean.
00:17:08.000 I've got more friends than you.
00:17:11.000 Yeah, I'm married.
00:17:11.000 I'm not in the market for friends.
00:17:14.000 And I remember reading a study that said happiness isn't based on being better than everyone.
00:17:21.000 It's based on being better than your immediate circle.
00:17:26.000 Now, obviously, it's not exclusively based on that.
00:17:29.000 But a lot of the way we gauge ourselves, obviously, is our immediate surroundings. 0.94
00:17:33.000 So one way you can rig the system is to make your immediate surroundings suck. 0.71
00:17:38.000 And now you're the king of the hill.
00:17:41.000 You're this cool guy.
00:17:43.000 But surely you realize that other guys are having serious... I mean, he dated this single mom for about a year, but that was clearly just him trying to get mommy back.
00:17:54.000 And he hangs around with his cousin.
00:17:57.000 What's his name?
00:17:57.000 Charles Cole or something.
00:18:01.000 But that's just him trying to be a daddy.
00:18:03.000 And that's what he is to these kids.
00:18:05.000 And I don't think he screws these girls. 0.79
00:18:07.000 I think he just has them around as accessories.
00:18:08.000 And, you know, it wouldn't be the place he stays.
00:18:13.000 They'd be mad if he was bringing chicks home all the time. 1.00
00:18:15.000 You know, it's not really connected to the house, but they'd still be aware of it.
00:18:21.000 And I try to explain all this to him.
00:18:24.000 I go, you're rigging the system.
00:18:27.000 You're controlling the social equation to make yourself look bigger than you are.
00:18:34.000 And he gets all pissed off and he hits, there's a jukebox there that he hits, to change the song actually.
00:18:43.000 No, I think it came on when he hit it.
00:18:45.000 And he goes back into the diner and goes back to, you know, Gino,
00:18:51.000 And you know what's going to happen to him?
00:18:55.000 Eventually, the whole process is going to jump the shark and these kids are going to grow up and move out.
00:19:03.000 Like there's this one kid, Richard, who lives in the house where he stays and that kid is getting older.
00:19:10.000 He's going to fall in love and eventually play.
00:19:12.000 Like this happened to the Star Wars guy!
00:19:15.000 All those kids he was playing Star Wars with eventually ended up coming to the arcade, and I'd see them.
00:19:22.000 And they were like our little, you know, I'd see them in the stage we were at two years ago.
00:19:26.000 Oh, yeah, you play Defender now, and you still don't talk to girls.
00:19:29.000 I smoke cigarettes with girls. 0.64
00:19:31.000 I've moved on.
00:19:32.000 I make out.
00:19:33.000 I've been to first base, dude.
00:19:34.000 I've touched a third of a tit.
00:19:37.000 And then that guy ended up getting into Dungeons and Dragons, not being part of it.
00:19:46.000 You know, you gotta join the group.
00:19:48.000 You don't have to be a conformist, but you have to participate.
00:19:52.000 And sometimes being an anti-conformist is part of participating.
00:19:55.000 Being a punk or a rockabilly or a cowboy at school, fashion means I'm participating.
00:20:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:02.000 That's why I don't like seeing these kids in college with just sweatpants on and one shoe they found and a shower shoe that they're without the other foot and some t-shirt that says Dan Donnelly's Ottawa Ford.
00:20:12.000 That frustrates me because I go, look, you're at the peak of your aesthetic career.
00:20:18.000 Dress up, you know, get into it.
00:20:24.000 So eventually I just sort of gave up on him.
00:20:29.000 And I checked in on him once in a while, but you know, I got a family and I don't party anymore.
00:20:34.000 And if I am going to party, I'm not going to go that way out to Long Island where he is at. 0.99
00:20:39.000 I'm going to, I'd rather hang out with someone I barely know in the burbs and just shoot the shit about parenting. 0.98
00:20:45.000 That's another problem too, by the way, when you have kids, you talk to other people who don't have kids and their, their lives seem so petty. 0.99
00:20:54.000 If they're your age, obviously, if you're talking to a 24 year old, it's kind of fun.
00:20:57.000 Cause you're like, all right, this is what you got to do with your life.
00:20:59.000 Man, she'd get a ring on it and get a career, blah blah blah. 1.00
00:21:03.000 But when you talk to guys your age who are single, it's just embarrassing. 0.99
00:21:08.000 As my friend Tommy goes, and he's a bonafide Italian, he goes, it's like you're talking to them and you're just thinking, get your shit together. 1.00
00:21:20.000 So, I just think Artie is, 0.97
00:21:26.000 I don't know.
00:21:43.000 An identity politics thing where it was an entire generation's identity.
00:21:49.000 So once the problem was cured and women could vote and women could have a career and women could leave the kitchen, they had to keep going. 0.99
00:21:56.000 Because you can't – it's like communism.
00:21:58.000 Once there's a government department for that, it's not going to recede.
00:22:01.000 It's not going to say, all right, well, we built the Brooklyn Queens Expressway.
00:22:06.000 We're done.
00:22:07.000 Let's shut down this department. 1.00
00:22:08.000 No, they have to keep building, keep making stuff, keep making themselves seem important.
00:22:13.000 So they just started saying, all right, well, now that we have equality, we want you to be unequal.
00:22:18.000 And now we're going to pretend we need rapists. 1.00
00:22:20.000 Well, there's no rape. 0.83
00:22:21.000 Well, obviously there's rape, but it's not an epidemic.
00:22:24.000 Like, you want it to be like one in four in college.
00:22:26.000 They go, well, now sex you regret later is rape. 1.00
00:22:29.000 Now sex when you're drunk is rape. 0.98
00:22:30.000 That's how we get our numbers up. 1.00
00:22:33.000 So they've created this disgusting machine that is a dangerous machine.
00:22:37.000 And, you know, it could have contributed to the Cruz shooting. 0.99
00:22:43.000 Um, but I definitely think it contributed to Artie's pathetic life. 0.98
00:22:50.000 You know, he's living a fantasy life. 0.92
00:22:55.000 So everything is relative, you know?
00:22:58.000 Having a motorcycle, having tattoos, like I have my, I'm covered in tattoos.
00:23:04.000 And when I was singing with bands,
00:23:06.000 And I had a full back piece, have a full back piece.
00:23:10.000 I got it from the Curtis Mantronic album.
00:23:12.000 I sing the body electro.
00:23:14.000 It's this big digital jellyfish eating Chunk I Shag and Fidel Castro and connects to my shoulders. 0.91
00:23:19.000 Looks cool on stage when you're screaming out punk lyrics.
00:23:24.000 At the water park at 47 or at the at the 0.99
00:23:30.000 The pool near your house, the public pool that all the other dads are at, you look ridiculous. 0.98
00:23:38.000 I am a circus freak at the pool. 0.98
00:23:41.000 I'm going to start pretending that I have sensitive skin and just wear a t-shirt into the water, which used to be my pet peeve, still is, just to not show these ridiculous tattoos.
00:23:53.000 That's the funny thing about tattoos.
00:23:54.000 They have a shelf life, but they're on you forever.
00:23:58.000 But Artie, there was a time when he was a god.
00:24:03.000 In high school he was cool.
00:24:04.000 He's like my friend Steve.
00:24:06.000 But he gets older and older, and now I think of him and I just... I feel bad.
00:24:16.000 And the way he dresses, too.
00:24:18.000 He's got these, like, biker boots, these motorcycle boots, you know, with his jeans all faded and rolled up at the bottom, like, too much.
00:24:28.000 He dresses like Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones.
00:24:31.000 And he's got a t-shirt on with a leather jacket with the collar up.
00:24:34.000 You know, sometimes he puts the collar up.
00:24:37.000 He's got this pompadour 50s thing.
00:24:42.000 And I just think, in high school, you were a god. 1.00
00:24:46.000 And now that you're 30-something, you're a loser, sir. 1.00
00:24:50.000 You're a total and utter loser. 1.00
00:24:52.000 And I am embarrassed that I ever thought he was cool. 1.00
00:24:55.000 And I'm not really embarrassed for everyone who thinks he's cool, because I think the older people, people my age, like the patriarch, the guy who he rents a room from, I think that guy feels sorry for him and accepts that he has some sort of family PTSD.
00:25:12.000 From not having a father and being raised by a mother and a grandmother.
00:25:18.000 But just the fact that he has included in, it's sort of like North Korea.
00:25:24.000 You know, when you see them crying and you see the tears in the cement, you go, wait a minute, do you believe this?
00:25:30.000 Or like with the Southern Poverty Law Center, where they go, this is, call me a bigot or something.
00:25:34.000 I go, I know Morris Dees is a huckster.
00:25:38.000 Who just does this to make money.
00:25:39.000 But you people down at the bottom who write these, are you in on the gag? 1.00
00:25:42.000 Or are you a useful idiot? 1.00
00:25:44.000 Or AJ+. 1.00
00:25:45.000 You know Al Jazeera's new thing where they show quick videos?
00:25:48.000 I get that that Qatar, Saudi, whatever kind of Middle Eastern, rich, super crazy family is. 0.99
00:25:55.000 The guy's name who owns Al Jazeera is literally 30 names.
00:26:01.000 Mahmoud, Mohammed, Mada, blah, blah, blah.
00:26:05.000 I get that they want to sabotage American culture and make Muslims more acceptable and make Islam more acceptable because that's their religion and they ain't got billions, why not spend some money on propaganda? 0.55
00:26:14.000 But the ones who do the videos, often Jewish by the way, who talk about how great Jihad is and how George Soros is awesome, um, are they in on it? 0.88
00:26:24.000 And that's how I feel about Artie. 0.98
00:26:27.000 Like he, does he know that he's a fool or has he brainwashed himself? 0.99
00:26:30.000 Or Sean King? 0.99
00:26:32.000 Like does Sean King 1.00
00:26:34.000 Lie in bed at night and just go, I'm fucking white. 1.00
00:26:39.000 This is the greatest hustle. 1.00
00:26:41.000 I got away with it.
00:26:44.000 Does that happen?
00:26:45.000 I mean, yes, you kid.
00:26:46.000 Every time I bring this up with people do they go, no, he kidded himself.
00:26:49.000 He fooled himself.
00:26:50.000 I go, yeah, I get that at 3 p.m.
00:26:52.000 But what about that sort of magical phase just as you're falling asleep where you consider, you know, the unconsiderable?
00:27:02.000 Am I gay? 0.82
00:27:04.000 Has my whole life been a waste? 0.86
00:27:07.000 Who am I? 1.00
00:27:09.000 And then, if you're a white guy pretending to be black, you must be going, let's cut the shit, me. 1.00
00:27:17.000 I'm a white person. 1.00
00:27:19.000 That's why I keep my hair so short, because if I grew it out, it would look like Gavin McInnes'.
00:27:25.000 If I ever, if there's ever a barber strike, the jig is up.
00:27:30.000 If he were ever arrested, oh my god, what if he was arrested and he was in solitary for seven months and he grew out his long, gorgeous, totally straight brown hair?
00:27:42.000 He'd have to just sort of use, he'd probably use his own feces to make it into dreads or something to hide it.
00:27:48.000 But I feel this way about Artie.
00:27:49.000 Like, he makes up these fake terms.
00:27:53.000 You know how in Mean Girls she wants fetch to come out? 1.00
00:27:57.000 Artie has these things where he goes, ayyyy!
00:28:02.000 When he walks in the room.
00:28:02.000 And he puts his thumb up all the time.
00:28:04.000 He goes, yay!
00:28:06.000 He says, sit on it. 1.00
00:28:07.000 Instead of like, fuck off. 1.00
00:28:09.000 Ayy, sit on it! 1.00
00:28:11.000 He's got this family friendly thing.
00:28:13.000 And here's, I've saved the most embarrassing part then.
00:28:15.000 His full name is Arthur Fonzarelli, and he calls himself The Fonz.