Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 09, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #31 | Remember When Matt and Trey Were Called South Park Conservatives?

Topics
South Park
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Trey Parker Matt Stone Kenny Hotz Brian Graydon Larry David Joan Rivers Johnny Carson Tom Cruise Trump Pump Dave Kristen Schaal Baby Boomer Oprah Jesus Merry Christmas Sucks Bud Light-style Richard Spencer Julie Doucette Elvis Costello Phil Robertson and 44 more
Get Off My Lawn #30 | How To Be a Man. Get Off My Lawn #94 | Latte Dough

Episode Stats


Length

42 minutes

Words per minute

179.05

Word count

7,690

Sentence count

718

Harmful content

Misogyny

31

sentences flagged

Toxicity

179

sentences flagged

Hate speech

56

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, we re talking about a lot of things, but let s start with one of the most boring things we can talk about: South Park. It s a show about a bunch of people who do dumb things and talk about dumb things, and it s pretty good, so why not talk about it in this episode of Thick & Thin? Plus, we ve got a new episode of Ego Trip coming soon, and a new GQ cover story featuring Jane Fonda. And we re also talking about the fact that you can get a Budweiser with a Bud Light in it, and that s pretty cool, too. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions expressed here are our own and do not necessarily those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this podcast. This episode was produced, produced, and licensed under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA contract with a third party. If you have any objections, please contact us at gimlet@whatiwatchedtonight.co.uk. Thank you for any amount you can afford to support this podcast through Paypal. or any other means of support, we do not claim the use of any of the music used is our work, we are working with the rights of any other third parties. It is not affiliated with this podcast, we have no claim in any other than that of any third party or third party company. You can reach us directly through our website or any of our marketing services. We are not compensated for this podcast or other third-party services. Thanks for your support is not through this podcast is not being used in any of this podcasting platform, we thank you. (Thank you, if you have a credit card, we would be deeply appreciative of the service provided to us, we appreciate the support we receive from this podcast). and we appreciate your support, and we are very much appreciate the feedback. Also, thank you for all the kind words and support we get back and support is very much appreciated. - Thank you, we really appreciate it. in advance of the support you're being kind and support us in any way we can do this, it really helps us in advance, it helps us out.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Remember when Matt and Trey were called South Park Conservatives?
00:00:05.000 That was a thing in the early aughts.
00:00:09.000 You don't really say that anymore.
00:00:10.000 You might hear some clinking and some moving around.
00:00:12.000 I got rid of my desk today. 1.00
00:00:13.000 It's the stupidest desk in the world. 1.00
00:00:16.000 I'm a drunk, but I'm also a dry drunk. 1.00
00:00:19.000 So when I'm sober and I make decisions, I come up, like I have to overdo it.
00:00:23.000 I'll get a burrito and I'll have so many jalapenos and hot sauce in it that it's physically painful to eat.
00:00:29.000 And then the next day it'll hurt.
00:00:31.000 No, not even the next day.
00:00:32.000 That evening it'll hurt when I pee.
00:00:34.000 And I'm glad I'm married, because I'd be wondering what floozy caused that. 0.99
00:00:38.000 But it's from a burrito that I didn't enjoy.
00:00:41.000 And the desk that I had was, I'll be conservative, 8 feet by 6 feet.
00:00:51.000 I thought it would look cool on camera, but it doesn't.
00:00:54.000 And in our building, they said that we're, I could tell that they were junking an office next door, and I know the guy's there, and I said, can I give you some junk?
00:01:02.000 And they said, we don't care.
00:01:03.000 And so I threw my junk in with their junk, and I'm just gonna get a normal desk now.
00:01:07.000 Anyway, that's boring.
00:01:11.000 People in my business have to understand that the behind the scenes is dull, especially, hey, editors at magazines.
00:01:20.000 We don't need your opening letter.
00:01:23.000 That, uh, well, what a strange month it's been.
00:01:26.000 I remember seeing, especially with real amateurs, they'd say, a lot of people didn't want this to happen, but it happened, and here it is.
00:01:33.000 The new issue of Ego Trip.
00:01:36.000 Or, yeah, today's quite a whirlwind.
00:01:39.000 We got a lot of women in this month's edition of GQ. 1.00
00:01:42.000 You can talk to Jane Fonda, who's back after two years abroad.
00:01:49.000 No one cares.
00:01:49.000 Just have the articles there.
00:01:51.000 It's not like I'm reading this magazine on a desert island and I'm cherishing it so much that I can't wait to hear from the editor.
00:01:58.000 It's really just someone taking advantage of their pulpit, right?
00:02:01.000 Like teachers do all the time. 0.99
00:02:04.000 And I shouldn't have bored you with that stupid story about my desk. 1.00
00:02:08.000 God. 0.97
00:02:09.000 Well, it's relevant though, because it'll explain the little plinks and plonks you hear over the course of this podcast.
00:02:14.000 No, I want to focus on South Park.
00:02:17.000 I never liked South Park because I'm a cartoonist, originally.
00:02:22.000 That was my first job.
00:02:23.000 My first sort of career, I should say.
00:02:25.000 And I'm very snobby about cartoons.
00:02:28.000 I like Peter Bagg, Dan Clowes, all the Canadian guys, Seth, Joe Matt, Chester Brown.
00:02:35.000 I like autobio stuff, Julie Doucette.
00:02:37.000 We're good to go.
00:02:58.000 The cartoon.
00:02:59.000 Sometimes it's good though, like Mike Judge with Beavis and Butthead and Hank Hill and King of the Hill.
00:03:06.000 That's bad on purpose and you can tell the cartoonist could do a much better job.
00:03:12.000 So I like that.
00:03:14.000 Not as much though as someone great.
00:03:16.000 But like South Park with it's little moving construction paper.
00:03:20.000 They're brilliant guys.
00:03:21.000 Their show is amazing.
00:03:24.000 I just can't look at it.
00:03:25.000 Sorry.
00:03:26.000 And I hate the way, even today at the barber.
00:03:29.000 The barbers were talking about, yeah, well, they got a South Park episode on that.
00:03:32.000 It's sort of like the new, there's an app for that.
00:03:34.000 So every time you bring up a thing, and we're bringing up that cliche thing that we always talk about in barbershops where the 14 year old's screwing his teacher and the dad died of excessive high fives. 0.93
00:03:45.000 And when I was a boy, my teachers were all ugly. 0.58
00:03:48.000 It's not the most creative.
00:03:50.000 Man dialogue, but it's sort of our Rolling Stones.
00:03:54.000 Like when you're just sitting with guys, you're not feeling creative, you want to barf out some words and not blow anyone's mind, you don't want to play devil's advocate and say things like, you know, more guns, less crime.
00:04:06.000 You go, you talk about those hot teachers.
00:04:09.000 I never got that.
00:04:10.000 I never got them to send me nudes.
00:04:12.000 Kumi has got a good bit about how, you know, when he was young, they were all just these old, big-titted Germanic women with, you know, buns in their hair, their hair up in a bun and a long wool dress, cankles. 0.99
00:04:26.000 And he goes, now you look up your teacher and there's a picture of her on Instagram drinking a Bud Light on a boat with all her shit-faced friends. 0.97
00:04:35.000 We did have one, though, Mrs. Hamilton, and she would kiss us. 0.99
00:04:39.000 We would get detentions.
00:04:40.000 I would get a detention on purpose to be with her.
00:04:42.000 And then in the class we would play, I think, blackjack?
00:04:46.000 Some sort of easy card game.
00:04:48.000 And then at the end of the detention, we'd all walk out, all boys, and we got to kiss her on the cheek.
00:04:54.000 We were probably seven?
00:04:56.000 Eight?
00:04:59.000 But yeah, that's a South Park episode.
00:05:02.000 They got a South Park episode for that. 0.99
00:05:04.000 So it's an integral part of our culture and I thought I would talk about some stupid rumors. 0.98
00:05:08.000 I've sort of tangentially known those guys for a long time. 1.00
00:05:12.000 And I want this episode to be unverified stupid gossip. 0.99
00:05:18.000 I'm not Ben Shapiro. 0.98
00:05:20.000 A lot of what I say is true, but sometimes it's like a stand-up comedian where you're saying the truth, but in a funny way.
00:05:27.000 This is even more distant than that.
00:05:29.000 A lot of the stuff I'm going to say on this episode are rumors that I do not know to be true, and I don't want to verify them.
00:05:36.000 If I was writing a book about South Park, I would definitely verify them, even if I was doing an article.
00:05:41.000 If I was still a columnist, still a writer.
00:05:43.000 I'm not really a writer anymore. 0.98
00:05:45.000 I would verify these things but these are just stupid stories and I have them pretty confirmed and I'm just gonna leave it at that. 0.76
00:05:52.000 I've definitely filled in tons of details where there was holes. 0.96
00:05:58.000 All I'm saying is don't take any of this to the bank.
00:06:01.000 But Matt and Trey Parker are really smart guys with huge balls but the way they came to success is kind of a funny
00:06:13.000 A funny root.
00:06:14.000 Now, here's where the gossip comes.
00:06:18.000 Ready?
00:06:19.000 This is not necessarily true.
00:06:20.000 I believe it to be true, but I have a few sources that have told me this.
00:06:24.000 Do not take this to the bank.
00:06:25.000 Ready? 1.00
00:06:27.000 Trey Parker's a fag. 0.99
00:06:33.000 You heard me. 1.00
00:06:35.000 I've heard he's gay. 0.85
00:06:37.000 Yeah, but he's married. 0.72
00:06:39.000 He's married to a Japanese woman. 1.00
00:06:41.000 You can basically do whatever you want with a Japanese woman, including never fuck them. 1.00
00:06:47.000 So, I'm not counting that. 0.99
00:06:49.000 He's like, I'm gonna go camping with Roy for three days.
00:06:51.000 Bye!
00:06:52.000 Oh, bye.
00:06:53.000 I will have your food ready when you come home.
00:06:58.000 Um...
00:06:59.000 So that doesn't count.
00:07:00.000 Now, what really blows me away with, what really blows me about Gays in the Closet is, what are you doing in 2018?
00:07:11.000 I talked earlier about my dead uncle who never came out of the closet.
00:07:14.000 And as my dad said, 50s understand, 60s make sense, maybe.
00:07:19.000 What are you doing?
00:07:19.000 70s?
00:07:22.000 90s?
00:07:22.000 80s?
00:07:23.000 Hey homosexuals, I would like you to go look in the mirror right now. 1.00
00:07:27.000 Okay? 0.99
00:07:28.000 Take a good, long stare at yourself, and now listen to me very closely.
00:07:32.000 You ready?
00:07:34.000 Nobody cares.
00:07:38.000 Yep.
00:07:39.000 Maybe you could just loop that.
00:07:41.000 I don't know if you have a sampler at home.
00:07:42.000 Maybe you could borrow Reggie Watts' human beatbox hip-hop thing he uses on stage.
00:07:48.000 Nobody cares.
00:07:51.000 It's not revolutionary to be gay anymore. 0.97
00:07:55.000 You're not blowing any minds. 0.93
00:07:57.000 Gay marriage? 0.95
00:07:58.000 Yes.
00:07:59.000 Some people oppose that because they knew you were going to use it
00:08:02.000 To dilute the authenticity of Catholicism, which is exactly what you did. 0.94
00:08:10.000 Charging people, giving them fines for not having gay marriages in their living room.
00:08:15.000 Remember that?
00:08:15.000 There's a couple upstate.
00:08:17.000 They have marriages in their living room occasionally.
00:08:19.000 They didn't want to do a gay one. 1.00
00:08:20.000 And some lesbians, they're always lesbians it seems, found them. 1.00
00:08:24.000 Demanded it.
00:08:25.000 They got sued.
00:08:25.000 They said no.
00:08:27.000 Of course the government takes 10 and they get 1500 each just to be basically a cunt. 1.00
00:08:27.000 13 grand. 1.00
00:08:34.000 The bakeries, all that stuff.
00:08:35.000 You're not asking Muslim bakeries to bake your cake. 1.00
00:08:37.000 Anyway.
00:08:39.000 We weren't against gay marriage.
00:08:40.000 And when I say we, I mean the right, although I was for gay marriage until I realized I had been duped.
00:08:46.000 The anti-gay marriage thing wasn't anti-gay.
00:08:50.000 It was anti-wrecking marriage and using it as a political device, which is exactly what they did.
00:08:55.000 They always do that.
00:08:56.000 The left is famous for using people to make a point, just like the gays at the Irish Day Parade. 1.00
00:09:06.000 Back in the early aughts, they demanded they be part of it, and someone said, I never knew you were so big on being Irish.
00:09:12.000 She goes, meh, we just thought it was a good place to showcase our rights, our human rights.
00:09:17.000 Ah, okay, I get it now.
00:09:20.000 So, the idea, like, closeted gaze in this day and age, like Oprah, what are you doing, Oprah?
00:09:30.000 Ellen got a show. 1.00
00:09:32.000 No one cares. 0.98
00:09:33.000 I'm sure there's some old black ladies that will be disappointed and a few evangelists. 1.00
00:09:37.000 Not a consequential amount. 0.99
00:09:39.000 And for all that you lose, you gain the whole virtue signaling, I'm gay, it's horrible.
00:09:44.000 I remember when Milo and I went down to Orlando after the Pulse shooting with bodyguards and, you know, we're eyeing the roof for assassins. 1.00
00:09:54.000 And we bravely said, fuck Islam, and then started making out. 1.00
00:09:59.000 I Frenched a gayman. 1.00
00:10:00.000 A gayman, I believe they're called.
00:10:02.000 And that was brave of me and Milo.
00:10:05.000 And then later, like a month later, I saw there was this trend on Twitter where gays were making out with each other in their living room. 0.63
00:10:15.000 I forget what the hashtag was, but it was something like, you can't scare me, terrorists.
00:10:20.000 I still love my boyfriend.
00:10:22.000 Whoa.
00:10:24.000 You're making out with someone you love in your own living room?
00:10:29.000 That's dangerous.
00:10:32.000 Watch out!
00:10:34.000 Oh my god, someone might even block you on Twitter. 0.97
00:10:39.000 That's really what a lot of this modern gayness is. 0.99
00:10:43.000 It's like wishing they were blacks. 1.00
00:10:44.000 And even being black in 2018, what are you doing? 0.99
00:10:47.000 Who cares? 0.99
00:10:49.000 Black lives matter, duh! 1.00
00:10:51.000 Everyone wants it to be the 50s so badly.
00:10:53.000 Anyway, sorry, that's quite a tangent to talk about, Trey. 0.99
00:10:56.000 By the way, another sort of demographic that's been getting on my nerves recently, besides gays who think it's a big deal that they're gay and that they're in love with someone like we care, and black people who think it's so horrible being black and they're revolutionaries because they went to see a fucking superhero movie for kids. 0.96
00:11:14.000 There's another demographic, there's these Jewish upper-middle class Jewish liberals, they have stubbly beards, they're over-educated, they usually have a master's in something, and on Twitter they put their name in brackets, and they think it's a big deal that they're Jewish. 0.98
00:11:33.000 If there's one thing people care about less than if you're gay or if you're black, it's if you're Jewish in 2018.
00:11:42.000 But I think these guys, their Baby Boomer parents, right, are still traumatized by all the horror stories that their grandfathers, you know, the father of Baby Boomer, told the dad.
00:11:52.000 And that, those were horror stories, by the way, don't get me wrong.
00:11:55.000 And then the dad, you know, tells the son these stories, passes him down.
00:11:59.000 It's like hereditary PTSD.
00:12:03.000 And so the son goes, all right, Dad, I'm going to fight Nazis. 0.52
00:12:07.000 So he gets out on social media and joins Antifa and starts calling everyone a Nazi.
00:12:12.000 Sam Seder does this all the time. 0.83
00:12:14.000 They get on their little blog, their podcast, and say, Trump's a Nazi, and we're fighting Nazis, and Trump is the Gestapo. 0.77
00:12:20.000 They're big on Trump. 0.92
00:12:21.000 He's the new Hitler, right? 0.98
00:12:23.000 And you go, your whole existence, your whole political existence, is trying to impress your dad. 0.56
00:12:30.000 And you're sitting there calling all these people Nazis, totally ignoring, you know, the jihadists who want to kill them, and just focusing on the Bigfoot, chasing these fictional Nazis everywhere.
00:12:43.000 And they got Richard Spencer, they got Heather Heyer, they have like a half a dozen real cases, and they just extrapolate that into KKK America. 0.69
00:12:51.000 So, three boring groups of people. 0.85
00:12:54.000 Oh, woe is me, I'm black. 0.99
00:12:55.000 Oh, you hate me because I'm gay. 0.99
00:12:56.000 Oh, you hate me because I'm Jewish. 1.00
00:12:58.000 Because I'm Jewish, you must be a Nazi. 0.99
00:13:02.000 Sorry about this cough. 0.99
00:13:03.000 God, you must be annoyed.
00:13:06.000 I just spent a week watching baseball games.
00:13:09.000 You'd think you'd be baseballed out after that, but now I just work at Baseball Co.
00:13:13.000 I could go to a game right now.
00:13:15.000 And I wouldn't be excited or not excited.
00:13:17.000 It would just be like, it must be like, I'm going to go see Elvis Costello tonight, and he's going to play Pump It Up, I assume.
00:13:23.000 I'm sure he doesn't hate Pump It Up, but he doesn't like Pump It Up.
00:13:25.000 It's just like, that's my job.
00:13:26.000 I get out there and I go, pump it up until you can't feel it.
00:13:30.000 Pump it up when you don't even need it.
00:13:33.000 He's singing about getting a boner, by the way.
00:13:36.000 He's singing about beating off. 0.67
00:13:37.000 What a curse that is.
00:13:39.000 You write a song about cranking it in 1968,
00:13:43.000 And it's the bane of your existence well into your 70s.
00:13:47.000 He must be in his 70s by now. 0.99
00:13:50.000 All right, so Trey Parker, gay.
00:13:52.000 Why does that matter, Gavin?
00:13:53.000 I thought you just spent about a 20-minute tangent talking about how it doesn't matter.
00:13:57.000 Well, it matters when you won't shut up about it.
00:14:00.000 Like, I went to see that the play, what was it called, the Broadway play that he does, Mormon.
00:14:08.000 Book of Mormon.
00:14:09.000 Well, what is it?
00:14:09.000 Book of Mormon?
00:14:10.000 Yeah.
00:14:11.000 So I went to see that.
00:14:13.000 I got good tickets because I'm rich and famous.
00:14:16.000 And the whole movie is making fun of Mormons who go to Africa and are closeted.
00:14:24.000 That doesn't seem like a very big target to me.
00:14:26.000 It's not a high priority.
00:14:28.000 I don't get why you'd go to Africa.
00:14:30.000 I don't get why you'd go to any shithole country and try to bring them Western values.
00:14:34.000 We got enough people in America, your hometown, who don't have healthcare, who don't have money, who don't have a job.
00:14:42.000 There's so much you could do in a 10-mile radius.
00:14:45.000 Volunteer, Kids Without Dads.
00:14:46.000 I don't know why you'd ever go to Mozambique.
00:14:50.000 But that's not really something I bitch about a lot.
00:14:52.000 It doesn't affect my life, and it's not like, you know, they're hurting the American economy or anything.
00:14:58.000 So the whole play is about that.
00:15:00.000 Ha ha ha! 1.00
00:15:01.000 These guys are so stupid. 1.00
00:15:02.000 And then the sort of second part, besides, what are they doing in Africa? 1.00
00:15:06.000 Africa's scary, is he's clearly gay, and he's such a pussy. 1.00
00:15:12.000 He's so closeted. 1.00
00:15:14.000 And I think, well, wait a minute, Trey, as far as I'm concerned, you're closeted. 1.00
00:15:19.000 So you did a whole successful super Broadway mega play about what a pussy you are if you stay in the closet. 1.00
00:15:26.000 And didn't he have one on, I think there was a South Park about Tom Cruise called Trapped in the Closet, all about what a loser Tom Cruise is for not recognizing that he's a gigantic homosexual. 1.00
00:15:38.000 But isn't that Trey Parker and his Japanese wife? 0.99
00:15:41.000 And by the way, if you're gay and you're married and you haven't told the woman or you dump her, you know, after 15 years, I feel like that's kind of rape. 0.99
00:15:53.000 If you're plowing into this woman. 1.00
00:15:55.000 Hating every minute of it. 0.90
00:15:56.000 I met this woman a few months ago out here in the burbs, and she said that her husband, who turned out to be gay, I believe, would schedule a cunnilingus Saturdays at 8 to 10.
00:16:10.000 In other words, it makes him want to barf, but he knows he's supposed to do that, so let's at least delegate it to one time.
00:16:16.000 So it would be like me, I'll eat anchovies Saturday at 10pm.
00:16:21.000 Maybe I'll get drunk all day and it won't seem so bad.
00:16:24.000 That's essentially what that guy was doing, eating anchovies. 1.00
00:16:26.000 Now to treat a woman's vagina like an anchovy is rape. 1.00
00:16:31.000 Right? 1.00
00:16:31.000 You were... It's like... She thinks she's having sex with Exhibit A, and you're actually Exhibit B. That's like having sex with someone else's wife, dressed in a Halloween costume at a Halloween party. 1.00
00:16:41.000 You've got the same costume as her husband, and you're just wearing the same Frankenstein suit, plowing into some guy's wife. 1.00
00:16:50.000 Oh, that cough had a little bit of a kick to it.
00:16:52.000 I think we're getting through the... We're getting through the mist here.
00:16:55.000 We're getting through the fog.
00:16:57.000 Anyway, so...
00:17:00.000 That bothered me about the Book of Mormon.
00:17:01.000 It just seemed hypocritical. 1.00
00:17:04.000 And I don't know why I had to segue all this heavy homosexuality to begin my South Park episode because this episode is just a bunch of stupid gossip. 1.00
00:17:17.000 Alright. 0.99
00:17:17.000 Exhibit A. 0.99
00:17:20.000 So they, they, and I know this to be a fact, so their first cartoon ever was this stupid construction paper crap where they, you know, stop motion animation and it was called like, Jesus Merry Christmas Sucks and Jesus is a Fag. 1.00
00:17:35.000 And there's a thing a lot of gays do where they hate Christianity. 1.00
00:17:40.000 Because they see it as a book, like the Quran, that says gays are stupid and gays stink. 1.00
00:17:48.000 So the more they can discredit Christianity, the better it makes them feel. 1.00
00:17:53.000 You know, I mean, we're all the same way. 1.00
00:17:55.000 If someone hates us, we want to go, yeah, well, they're an idiot and they're not a good critic. 1.00
00:17:58.000 So I'm actually glad that you hate me. 0.99
00:18:01.000 It actually, I feel sorry for you.
00:18:03.000 That's the big high school thing, remember that?
00:18:05.000 I actually feel sorry for her. 1.00
00:18:07.000 So gays go, Christianity is so stupid, I hate Jesus, Jesus whatever. 1.00
00:18:12.000 So let's crap on Jesus and then this guy who says thou shalt not lie with other man whatever has less credibility. 1.00
00:18:21.000 And again, gays. 1.00
00:18:23.000 I'm sure there are people in the South who read that, but even like, remember my fellow CRTV host, Phil Robertson, said, we're getting gays married, then what's next?
00:18:35.000 You're gonna have marrying animals and all kinds of things, where does it end? 0.95
00:18:38.000 I mean, you gotta follow the Bible or you don't.
00:18:41.000 And he was considered a lunatic, and he was kicked off of Duck Dynasty, and then they realized, oh, actually, everyone likes him, I have to bring him back.
00:18:50.000 But even he, at the peak of all that controversy, said, no, I'm not saying they're evil or going to hell, that's God's decision.
00:18:56.000 I'm just telling you what's in the Bible.
00:18:58.000 And the Bible doesn't condone it. 0.86
00:19:01.000 So even when you think you have this horrible homophobic Christian, you talk to the guy and he goes, no, no, no, I'm just saying it's considered a sin. 0.82
00:19:09.000 So is boozing, by the way, and plenty of other stuff. 0.99
00:19:12.000 But as far as like, damn thee all to hell, and I hate them all, and God hates fags, Fred Phelps stuff, no, no, no, no, no, that's not my job, that's God's job. 1.00
00:19:21.000 Any hizzles. 1.00
00:19:23.000 So, they do this cartoon, and Trey Parker's the mastermind here, and Trey Parker probably hates Jesus because Trey Parker's gay. 0.98
00:19:32.000 Again, that's my theory. 0.74
00:19:33.000 I don't have any proof.
00:19:36.000 And this dude, Brian Graydon, picks it up. 0.97
00:19:38.000 Now, Brian Graydon is a raging homosexual, very out of the closet, I'm pretty sure. 0.95
00:19:43.000 And he went to an evangelical college. 0.96
00:19:46.000 So he's sitting there in, or maybe a Christian college, whatever.
00:19:50.000 I'm not that well informed when it comes to religion, so I screw up like Episcopalian and Protestant and all that stuff. 1.00
00:19:56.000 All I know is it's a big fancy building where you go and thank the Lord that you were born.
00:20:01.000 I don't know any of the details. 0.99
00:20:02.000 So anyway, Brian Graydon sees this and goes, this is fucking genius, you guys. 0.99
00:20:08.000 I love the way that you're making fun of Jesus. 0.99
00:20:10.000 I love it!
00:20:12.000 So,
00:20:12.000 He instantly signs them.
00:20:14.000 I guess they instantly get a show on, was it Comedy Central?
00:20:19.000 You can read all this on Wikipedia.
00:20:21.000 And within seconds, they're rich.
00:20:24.000 Now, I believe they were both living in Colorado at the time.
00:20:27.000 Maybe it was L.A.
00:20:28.000 See, this is not the most informed thing.
00:20:31.000 Dave told me Colorado.
00:20:32.000 The story I heard was L.A., so I'm going to stick with my original rumor.
00:20:36.000 And this is a funny story because I don't want this to be confirmed.
00:20:40.000 If this isn't true, I don't care.
00:20:42.000 I love this story.
00:20:43.000 You may not touch it.
00:20:45.000 Leave it alone.
00:20:45.000 Don't tell me.
00:20:47.000 Don't fact check this.
00:20:48.000 You can fact check it on your own, but if I'm wrong, don't tell me.
00:20:51.000 This is my Santa Claus.
00:20:53.000 So the story I got was Matt Stone found out, no, Trey Parker found out first.
00:21:00.000 And they were given like a million dollars.
00:21:02.000 Here you go.
00:21:04.000 And so Trey goes, that is so awesome.
00:21:08.000 I'm just going to buy a house.
00:21:10.000 So he starts driving around neighborhoods and maybe it was Echo Park and he goes, that's a nice house.
00:21:16.000 So he walks up and he goes, hi, I want to buy your house.
00:21:20.000 And they go, that's nice.
00:21:21.000 Goodbye.
00:21:21.000 And he goes, no, no, no, stop, stop.
00:21:23.000 They go, our house isn't for sale.
00:21:25.000 And then he says, yes, it is.
00:21:27.000 Then they go, no, it's not.
00:21:28.000 And he goes, yes, it is.
00:21:29.000 And they go, no, it's not.
00:21:30.000 And he goes, how about $1.5 million?
00:21:34.000 And they go, yes, it is.
00:21:37.000 And he just buys a house at 130% market value and moves in.
00:21:44.000 The family's still there. 0.99
00:21:44.000 They got to get their shit out at some point during the next week. 0.99
00:21:48.000 And then he calls Matt and they were both washing dishes, I believe at the same restaurant. 0.98
00:21:52.000 And he calls Matt Stone and he goes, Matt, uh, come over to this address after work.
00:21:58.000 I have a surprise.
00:21:59.000 And Matt goes, whatever, dude.
00:22:01.000 Just smoking pot, washing cheese.
00:22:04.000 I've washed dishes before.
00:22:05.000 Your arch enemy is that nacho cheese when it's baked on the edge of the plate.
00:22:09.000 He's scraping away at that.
00:22:12.000 And then works over, and he goes over to the house.
00:22:15.000 And Trey goes, this is my house.
00:22:17.000 What'd you think?
00:22:20.000 And Matt then finds out that they're both instantly rich, from dishwashers to rich guys in the snap of a finger, thanks to Brian Graydon's resentment of Christianity and Trey Parker's deep-seated resentment of the Lord Jesus.
00:22:35.000 So then Matt Stone goes, I want a house too!
00:22:38.000 So he goes next door and does the exact same thing to the neighbors.
00:22:44.000 No, we're not selling it.
00:22:45.000 Let's say the house, you know, back then houses in LA were not expensive.
00:22:49.000 $800,000 would be like a movie star's house.
00:22:52.000 So let's say it was like $600,000 and then they just offered $800,000 and the owner of the house went, well, that's $200,000.
00:22:57.000 I can just move a block away.
00:22:58.000 My kids don't have to change schools.
00:23:00.000 Sure.
00:23:01.000 That's a good check.
00:23:02.000 That's twice my, that's three times my annual salary.
00:23:06.000 So,
00:23:07.000 Matt and Trey are now rich neighbors, and over time, the families that live there eventually get their stuff out and they move their stuff in.
00:23:15.000 They're probably just sitting on the floor eating ramen noodles.
00:23:18.000 That's what poor guys do when they get rich.
00:23:21.000 And they begin the most successful show in the history of Comedy Central. 0.96
00:23:26.000 Comedy Central sucked back then. 0.55
00:23:28.000 It was lost. 0.98
00:23:29.000 It didn't really have any direction.
00:23:32.000 And they sort of became
00:23:36.000 The top executives without being executives. 0.98
00:23:38.000 So if Matt and Trey don't like you at Comedy Central, it's probably still like that today, you're screwed. 0.71
00:23:44.000 You can't do anything.
00:23:46.000 In fact, I talked earlier about that woman, I forget her name, blonde haired woman, her nickname in the scene was the killer of comedy because she was so bad at her job and her job was being head of programming at Comedy Central. 1.00
00:23:57.000 I believe she's out now.
00:23:59.000 But they still have women, you know, choosing Trevor Noah because he's international and he represents the war on racism.
00:24:07.000 Nice criteria for choosing a funny man, ladies. 1.00
00:24:10.000 But this woman, uh, Laura something?
00:24:15.000 She, uh, she, all she was, was the saleswoman who was working selling, uh, South Park when it hit the big time.
00:24:24.000 So it was everyone just remotely associated with the show won the lottery.
00:24:28.000 So she's instantly the head of programming.
00:24:30.000 This sales lady who has no idea what she's doing. 0.99
00:24:34.000 And they start writing up shows.
00:24:36.000 Now the crazy thing about South Park is, Trey Parker writes 99% of the show.
00:24:42.000 He sits alone in a room. 0.70
00:24:45.000 But they can afford a writing staff, and they'd be dumb not to do it. 0.88
00:24:50.000 You know, they should spend the money.
00:24:53.000 Although, those guys are very cool about money.
00:24:55.000 Did you know Team America World Police was a total loss? 0.91
00:24:59.000 It cost a fucking fortune to make, and Matt and Trey had to, uh, what's the word, abscond? 0.93
00:25:06.000 They had to, uh, ignore- they waived their fees and put that into the budget. 0.98
00:25:11.000 So they made zero dollars on that movie.
00:25:13.000 And who in their right minds can watch Team America World Police and not go, this is better than Michelangelo?
00:25:22.000 It is a work of art.
00:25:24.000 I'm not exaggerating when I say that it is on par with the roof of the Sistine Chapel.
00:25:31.000 I feel the same way about any Curb Your Enthusiasm season, especially the last one.
00:25:37.000 The whole concept of fatwa sex is so good. 1.00
00:25:41.000 Both Team America, World Police, and the last episode of Curb, I don't even laugh.
00:25:46.000 I just watch in awe at these beautiful brushstrokes.
00:25:53.000 The way Larry David combines the A plot and the B plot at the end there, and I've written a lot of shows and that's a very challenging thing to do that I obviously wasn't very good at because none of my shows got picked up, but the way he does it with women in wheelchairs fighting over him at the end of the episode and dude, he was joking around on Kimmel, his character was, about the Ayatollah Khomeini
00:26:17.000 And there's a fatwa out on him.
00:26:20.000 Then a Muslim assassin who has a heart of gold, that's already hilarious, decides to research Larry's gripes. 0.99
00:26:29.000 And we go over past episodes and the guy goes, yeah, actually you are a pig Parker. 0.99
00:26:34.000 Larry was right. 0.93
00:26:35.000 He ends up sort of falling in love with Larry in the sense that becoming a huge admirer of his.
00:26:42.000 And then instead of killing him, presents his case.
00:26:46.000 To the Ayatollah at the end.
00:26:49.000 I mean, that's so funny I forgot to laugh.
00:26:53.000 Honestly.
00:26:53.000 Anyway.
00:26:55.000 So those guys are cool with money, and Matt and Trey say, let's hire a writing staff.
00:26:58.000 And they got, I think, Kristen Schaal.
00:27:01.000 You know, Kristen Schaal from Last Man on Earth?
00:27:05.000 Super funny chick. 1.00
00:27:06.000 Actually, I hung out with her a couple of times.
00:27:08.000 She probably doesn't like me anymore because of Trump.
00:27:10.000 But she's the same way.
00:27:11.000 When something's super funny, she's so into comedy and always has been that she'll say, that was very, very funny, and not laugh.
00:27:19.000 A lot of really good comics are like that.
00:27:21.000 They love comedy so much, they just, instead of laughing, they go, funny.
00:27:25.000 Ricky Gervais is one of the few who can still laugh his head off.
00:27:29.000 But the way it works over there is you play, I believe the game is FIFA?
00:27:34.000 So you have Matt Stone and the writing staff sitting in a huge, beautiful living room, you know, studio, office.
00:27:41.000 It's basically the same as a house.
00:27:43.000 There's probably a kitchen there.
00:27:44.000 And they just play FIFA.
00:27:46.000 And that's been the history of South Park.
00:27:49.000 They've been doing that since day one, basically.
00:27:52.000 Trey Parker will write an entire episode.
00:27:54.000 Again, this is all rumors, so don't take this to the bank.
00:27:57.000 And then he'll come out and he'll say, what about this?
00:28:00.000 We have Tom Cruise.
00:28:01.000 He's stuck in the closet.
00:28:02.000 It's kind of a parody of R. Kelly.
00:28:04.000 Then Cartman farts on his face.
00:28:06.000 Sounds good, boss!
00:28:08.000 And then he goes back into the other room and keeps hammering away on the keyboard.
00:28:12.000 Maybe one in 20 times they'll go, eh, I don't know.
00:28:15.000 Haven't you already done like a lot of fart jokes?
00:28:18.000 Yeah, okay, I'll take out one fart joke.
00:28:20.000 Okay.
00:28:21.000 And a lot of these young writers go, uh, this is an awesome gig.
00:28:25.000 When I'm 65.
00:28:27.000 Like, if I got two divorces and they usurped my nest egg and I needed a steady income to pay for my new wife and my new four-year-old now that I'm 68, that's a good job. 0.79
00:28:39.000 You sit there and you just coast.
00:28:41.000 You know, you could sleep.
00:28:43.000 But a lot of young people, I think, quit working at South Park because it's too fun.
00:28:47.000 It's too easy.
00:28:48.000 And I believe that Matt Stone
00:28:51.000 Could enter a global competition at FIFA and beat all the top, like he's accidentally a gamer.
00:28:59.000 He's probably the top FIFA player in the world.
00:29:02.000 By the way, he's not gay.
00:29:03.000 I hung out with him one night.
00:29:05.000 Very good guy, very quality guy. 0.96
00:29:07.000 I guess it's weird that I'm shitting on them by outing Trey.
00:29:10.000 I'm not even outing him because it's based on a rumor, so I have no evidence.
00:29:13.000 I'm just sitting here gossiping about people I respect and admire and are pretty jealous of. 0.92
00:29:18.000 Matt's into black chicks. 1.00
00:29:19.000 That's the opposite of gay. 0.99
00:29:23.000 That's very heterosexual. 0.99
00:29:25.000 Big, strong, black woman. 1.00
00:29:27.000 And he pounds. 0.99
00:29:28.000 Actually, maybe that is gay. 0.98
00:29:29.000 I don't know. 0.99
00:29:31.000 It would be a weird coincidence, though, if they were both gay and they didn't hook up. 0.75
00:29:36.000 That's what it must be like being gay when you're friends. 1.00
00:29:39.000 You must just go, want a blowjob? 1.00
00:29:42.000 Uh, all right, buddy. 1.00
00:29:44.000 Like, why?
00:29:45.000 That's what I don't get about male and female friends. 1.00
00:29:48.000 Why not just start fucking? 1.00
00:29:50.000 I'm about to masturbate by using my hand as a vagina. 1.00
00:29:53.000 You're about to go to the bathroom and finger yourself. 1.00
00:29:55.000 Why don't we just cut the hands out and I'll put this in there?
00:30:00.000 Seems logical.
00:30:01.000 Oh my god, I have to tell you this story.
00:30:05.000 Okay, so we're in Florida and we're doing MOS, Man on the Streets.
00:30:12.000 They're very beneficial.
00:30:13.000 Everyone loves looking at them.
00:30:14.000 It's like free actors.
00:30:16.000 It adds color to your show.
00:30:18.000 It's a great thing to do as far as the viewer goes. 1.00
00:30:20.000 As far as the host goes, I fucking hate it. 0.98
00:30:22.000 I hate doing streeters. 0.99
00:30:24.000 People aren't funny.
00:30:25.000 When they try to be funny, they're even less funny.
00:30:27.000 It's like getting blood from a stone.
00:30:28.000 I kind of don't mind Times Square, because at least you're talking to people in India and Indonesia. 1.00
00:30:33.000 It's all tourists, right?
00:30:34.000 And Irish and Scottish, so there's a lot of variety there.
00:30:37.000 But actually going on the street, and everyone's reluctant.
00:30:40.000 And that pisses me off, too, because they're dubious.
00:30:43.000 And you think, are you accusing me of making this into, you know, taking advantage of you somehow? 0.99
00:30:48.000 Screw you. 0.99
00:30:48.000 That's an insult. 0.99
00:30:50.000 Anyway. 0.99
00:30:51.000 I find this gay guy and he hates Trump. 0.99
00:30:54.000 Did he make it into the show, Dave? 0.99
00:30:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:30:57.000 Okay.
00:30:58.000 And that's fun and everything.
00:30:59.000 And then I see this couple sitting down outside a movie theater.
00:31:02.000 And I go over and I go, what's going on?
00:31:04.000 Hi.
00:31:05.000 Oh, you guys on a date?
00:31:07.000 They go, no, I don't think so.
00:31:09.000 What do you mean?
00:31:10.000 Oh, we're just friends.
00:31:11.000 And I go, what are you talking about?
00:31:14.000 There's no such thing as male and female friends.
00:31:16.000 Stop it.
00:31:17.000 What, are you going to go camping together?
00:31:18.000 Am I going to tell my wife, hey honey, hey Em, I'm going to go camping with Leslie Arfin for three days.
00:31:25.000 Just me and her alone in a tent for three days.
00:31:27.000 She'd probably go, well, why can't I come?
00:31:29.000 Like, why are you alone with your female friend in a tent? 0.54
00:31:34.000 So I said that to the couple, basically. 0.98
00:31:35.000 And he goes, oh, we met up playing a video game, Second Life, whatever it is, World of Warcraft, some bullshit. 0.84
00:31:42.000 And I moved here to hang out with her. 0.97
00:31:43.000 I'm from Pennsylvania.
00:31:45.000 And I go, you moved here to be with your female friend from Pennsylvania to Florida?
00:31:51.000 Now that makes me assume he's, you know, an adult.
00:31:54.000 You moved somewhere.
00:31:55.000 You obviously didn't get your family to move down.
00:31:57.000 So I assume they're adults.
00:31:59.000 And I go, why don't you guys get together? 1.00
00:32:02.000 Let's cut the bullshit. 1.00
00:32:03.000 And she goes, well, that would be weird, because I'm bisexual. 1.00
00:32:06.000 And I go, oh, OK.
00:32:08.000 Well, that's still 50% options there.
00:32:10.000 And then I said to him, just hook up.
00:32:12.000 Like, get a ring on it or whatever you want to do, but make her your girlfriend. 1.00
00:32:15.000 I mean, worst case scenario, there's going to be tons of threesomes going on. 0.99
00:32:18.000 She just said she's bisexual.
00:32:20.000 She goes, well, I'm Catholic, so.
00:32:21.000 And I'm going, what?
00:32:22.000 You're making it clear you're bisexual, but you also have to follow Catholicism? 0.99
00:32:25.000 What are you talking about, dummy? 0.99
00:32:29.000 Then a woman shows up, and she goes, what the hell's going on here? 1.00
00:32:32.000 And I go, oh, we're just doing these little talks on the street, whatever.
00:32:36.000 And she goes, did you get permission to talk to her?
00:32:38.000 And I go, well, you're in a public place.
00:32:41.000 Reasonable expectation of being videotaped.
00:32:43.000 And we have a camera on her.
00:32:44.000 It's not like I'm tricking anyone.
00:32:46.000 And I go, wait a minute, is she under 18?
00:32:48.000 And she goes, yes.
00:32:49.000 And then I go, oh, well, don't worry about it.
00:32:51.000 We can't use it anyway.
00:32:53.000 We need parents' permission for anyone under 18. 0.99
00:32:57.000 So it's deleted.
00:32:58.000 And that should be the end of that.
00:33:00.000 But it's not.
00:33:01.000 And the woman goes, I didn't give you, I don't give you permission. 0.98
00:33:05.000 And I go, that doesn't matter.
00:33:07.000 I would, to get to use this footage, I'd need a bunch of paperwork I don't have on me. 0.69
00:33:11.000 And it's, it's, it's a dumb rule with these cameras.
00:33:14.000 Like at spring training, I, there was a ton of kids that want to talk to the camera about, about kindergarten and all the, and the Mets.
00:33:20.000 And I thought, sounds great, kid.
00:33:22.000 I don't have time to sit here with your parents, getting everything written in duplicate, triplicate.
00:33:27.000 So she goes, I don't, uh, I don't think the managers know you're out here.
00:33:32.000 That'd be very interesting if they would find that out.
00:33:35.000 And I think, oh, great.
00:33:36.000 This woman's going to make a big deal out of this. 1.00
00:33:39.000 So this was in a big complex.
00:33:41.000 There's a restaurant and a bowling alley and a movie theater.
00:33:45.000 So my dad is with us and my dad's with my son.
00:33:49.000 So I go back to the booth and I go, Ooh, that was weird.
00:33:51.000 I take my hat off and my glasses.
00:33:53.000 Now I'm a different person, just like Clark Kent.
00:33:56.000 And I sit down at the booth, and I go, uh, I go, uh, that was weird.
00:34:02.000 Some woman, I think, is telling the manager here. 0.97
00:34:04.000 Actually, I don't even know if I did catch everyone up to date, because I figured it was over at that point.
00:34:10.000 About 15 minutes later, a manager comes up to me, and he goes, I got to talk to one of you.
00:34:14.000 You or you, it's up to you.
00:34:15.000 And I go, talk to me.
00:34:16.000 So he goes, come here.
00:34:18.000 And he takes me to the dining room, and he closes the door, and he goes, look, here's the deal.
00:34:21.000 Were you talking to some teenage girl out there saying you wanted a threesome? 0.99
00:34:25.000 And I go, what?
00:34:26.000 No, no, no, no.
00:34:27.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:34:28.000 No.
00:34:29.000 And he goes, well, yeah, I didn't think so.
00:34:31.000 He goes, there's a woman out there who's called the cops. 1.00
00:34:35.000 And she said that you were trying to make a porno with her daughter or something like that. 1.00
00:34:38.000 And I go, holy shit. 1.00
00:34:40.000 That's insane. 1.00
00:34:41.000 And he goes, well, the cops are on their way here. 0.99
00:34:44.000 So you got two minutes to get the fuck out of here. 0.98
00:34:47.000 So, I'm in panic mode now. 0.97
00:34:49.000 I can't find my glasses.
00:34:50.000 Meanwhile, they're in my pocket.
00:34:51.000 I put them in there when I took them off for my disguise.
00:34:53.000 I go, where are my glasses?
00:34:54.000 My glasses are gone.
00:34:55.000 I gotta pay the check.
00:34:56.000 And I'm leaving money for the bill.
00:34:57.000 Now, of course, my dad's Scottish, so to leave too much money... Like, I just want to throw down 100 bucks and run out the back, but our bill's only, like, 60.
00:35:03.000 He's like, hang on, I'm gonna hang on!
00:35:06.000 He'd rather we went to jail as pedophiles than leave too big of a tip.
00:35:12.000 So I go, Dave and I gotta get out of here.
00:35:14.000 So, my son and his grandpa
00:35:18.000 I go, you guys go out the front, we sneak out the back door, we run across two parking lots, and I call him and I say, we're over here at this Ruby Tuesdays.
00:35:26.000 And he goes, alright, I'll be there in a minute.
00:35:29.000 And then he shows up, like ten minutes later, on his legs.
00:35:35.000 And he's with my son.
00:35:36.000 And I go, what are you doing?
00:35:39.000 And he goes, you said you're here.
00:35:40.000 I'm here to meet you.
00:35:42.000 And I go, I expected you to bring the car.
00:35:44.000 We're doing, we're about to go to jail for filming teenage girls in threesomes.
00:35:51.000 And yeah, let's let the lawyer explain that over the next two weeks, uh, that we're innocent.
00:35:57.000 Actually, we'd have the videotape though.
00:35:58.000 That would be good.
00:35:59.000 And he goes, Oh, you want the car?
00:36:01.000 I just thought we're going to go in here.
00:36:02.000 Yeah, we're going to go bar hopping and then just leave the bar every time someone calls the cops.
00:36:07.000 Meanwhile, I can see five cop cars out front with the sirens going, not the actual audio of sirens, but the lights lighting up the parking lot.
00:36:19.000 Dad, we got to go.
00:36:20.000 This is a big deal.
00:36:22.000 So he gets the car and we go in there and then we just, uh,
00:36:25.000 We order in that night.
00:36:27.000 Decide to take it easy.
00:36:28.000 We don't go back to that restaurant.
00:36:31.000 But that could have been real bad.
00:36:33.000 You know?
00:36:33.000 And you know, in a strange way, I'm kind of on the mom's side.
00:36:38.000 Like, if the daughter's an idiot, obviously, she's 17, and the family's terrible for letting some boy move down here to be with the daughter as a friend, even if they were the same sex, I'd say, uh, I'm not really into this chick who wants to move down here because she met you playing a video game. 0.99
00:36:55.000 You're 17. 1.00
00:36:56.000 That's weird.
00:36:58.000 But outside of that, yeah, if your daughter tells you that someone with a video camera was talking about threesomes, yeah, I want to catch that guy. 0.99
00:37:04.000 I want to beat the crap out of him.
00:37:07.000 In this case, they would have got the wrong guy.
00:37:09.000 Anyway, so Trey Parker and Matt Stone are so powerful that it's sort of like, remember when Joan Rivers got a job offer and she appeared on another talk show and Johnny Carson hadn't okayed it?
00:37:29.000 And Johnny Carson is the one who gave Joan Rivers her career.
00:37:32.000 Her manager was her husband.
00:37:36.000 Johnny Carson don't play like that.
00:37:37.000 You have to clear it with him first, and he was so pissed he had her blackballed, and she was a pariah. 1.00
00:37:45.000 Joan Rivers' manager husband was so distraught after this error he made, this career error,
00:37:53.000 That he killed himself.
00:37:55.000 He blew his head off because he felt so terrible about messing with Jones' career. 0.54
00:37:59.000 Yikes.
00:38:01.000 So similarly, Kenny Hotz used to write for South Park because he's hilarious.
00:38:07.000 And that meant playing video games, playing FIFA.
00:38:11.000 And he got an offer to do a show called Testies on FX.
00:38:15.000 And it was a really good show.
00:38:17.000 It was a show about
00:38:19.000 And all our friends were doing this.
00:38:20.000 Maybe this is back in the 90s in Canada.
00:38:23.000 All my friends would do these things where you take medication or you try some horrible thing.
00:38:29.000 Like Fat Peter, we used to call him, would have to eat like seven tablespoons of salt a day because they were doing a thing on salt intake.
00:38:39.000 I think there was this other guy, Simon, I think he did the same experiment and he had a heart attack.
00:38:44.000 At the end they had to rush him to the hospital.
00:38:46.000 But these guys would abuse their bodies as they were guinea pigs, right? 0.98
00:38:50.000 And the joke, of course, the play on words is testes as in balls, but testes as in testers and testes. 0.95
00:38:56.000 And these guys, you know, they'd sit in a lab on bunks and they'd experiment with sleep deprivation and all kinds of stuff. 0.99
00:39:03.000 It's fucked up that we do that, isn't it? 0.95
00:39:06.000 It's like one step away from vivisection. 0.99
00:39:09.000 We lock up these poor, you know, guys with college debt, and we pump them full of drugs to see what screws up their body the most.
00:39:19.000 That's sick!
00:39:20.000 I never did it, but a lot of my friends did.
00:39:23.000 Anyway, it was a sitcom about that, and...
00:39:26.000 You know, I don't fault Kenny for this.
00:39:29.000 I would do this all the time.
00:39:30.000 You don't tell the other people you're working with because for every 50 things you throw at the wall, 49 don't stick.
00:39:38.000 So rather than clear everything with everyone, why don't I just wait till something sticks and then I'll take it up with you.
00:39:42.000 So I believe that's what Kenny did.
00:39:43.000 And testes took, FX said yes.
00:39:46.000 And so while it was ready to air the first episode, I believe, Kenny called Matt and said, could I have a show?
00:39:53.000 And Matt said, oh, I don't know, man.
00:39:55.000 OK, well, it's airing tonight.
00:39:57.000 What?
00:39:58.000 So he's fired from South Park.
00:39:59.000 And then again, these guys are the kings of the Comedy Central Castle.
00:40:04.000 He was blackballed from Comedy Central and blackballed basically from comedy after that.
00:40:10.000 And so Kenny's career was over, except for testes, and then when testes was done, Kenny had nothing.
00:40:17.000 And he had to try to get back into Matt Stone's pants.
00:40:20.000 And the story I heard was that he bought him a $1,500 dinner, which for a cheap Jew like Kenny Hotz, was physically painful. 1.00
00:40:30.000 But he did it, and Matt forgave him.
00:40:33.000 And he was back in their good books again.
00:40:37.000 So that is the story of South Park. 0.91
00:40:40.000 It's run by a brilliant, closeted gay dude. 0.97
00:40:44.000 That's just a rumor.
00:40:46.000 And this guy is surrounded with talented people who occasionally get frustrated because they're not really doing much.
00:40:52.000 They occasionally get punished for not being loyal enough, like Joan Rivers. 0.99
00:40:58.000 And I think these guys, besides those few cases, are wielding their power fairly justly.
00:41:04.000 I mean, my only minor beef is that if 0.99
00:41:07.000 If Trey is gay, stop crapping on closeted gays, dude. 1.00
00:41:11.000 It's hypocritical of you. 1.00
00:41:14.000 And if he's not gay, well then this whole episode makes no sense. 0.98
00:41:20.000 But yeah, don't look up that house thing and tell me if I got it wrong, because I absolutely adore that story.
00:41:26.000 That is the end of this particular podcast.
00:41:29.000 I'm told to remind you that I have a show on CRTV.com, also named Get Off My Lawn.
00:41:35.000 I don't see how you could not know that, though.
00:41:37.000 I mean, if you like Billy Idol and you're a fan, do you need to go find out if he has a new album coming out?
00:41:43.000 Wouldn't you know that?
00:41:44.000 It's on my Twitter page.
00:41:47.000 I should also spill some beans.
00:41:49.000 I've got some pretty good news.
00:41:51.000 I'm 90% sure CRTV tonight will be picked up.
00:41:55.000 I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you that, but I believe
00:41:57.000 We'll do four episodes of Get Off My Lawn one week, and then the next week I'll only do two, and then go to DC or the studio here and shoot my new show, CRTV Tonight, which there's two episodes up already on CRTV.com.
00:42:13.000 You can see that.
00:42:13.000 So that's essentially three things we do now.
00:42:17.000 We have Get Off My Lawn, the show, CRTV.com, behind a paywall.
00:42:20.000 We have CRTV Tonight every second Friday, ideally, and that's behind the panel on CRTV.com.
00:42:24.000 And then we have this free podcast that is in the normal podcast world and that is not on CRTV.com.
00:42:32.000 And on this one, I can swear and tell you secrets and not worry about lawyers all the time.
00:42:40.000 Of course I'm gonna get sued, but who cares?
00:42:43.000 You know, there's two ways you can go through life.
00:42:45.000 Constantly worried about getting fired and getting sued, or just throwing it all into the wind and hoping that you don't get any diarrhea in your face.
00:42:55.000 This is Gavin McInnes, signing out.