This week, we re talking about a lot of things, but let s start with one of the most boring things we can talk about: South Park. It s a show about a bunch of people who do dumb things and talk about dumb things, and it s pretty good, so why not talk about it in this episode of Thick & Thin? Plus, we ve got a new episode of Ego Trip coming soon, and a new GQ cover story featuring Jane Fonda. And we re also talking about the fact that you can get a Budweiser with a Bud Light in it, and that s pretty cool, too. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions expressed here are our own and do not necessarily those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this podcast. This episode was produced, produced, and licensed under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA contract with a third party. If you have any objections, please contact us at gimlet@whatiwatchedtonight.co.uk. Thank you for any amount you can afford to support this podcast through Paypal. or any other means of support, we do not claim the use of any of the music used is our work, we are working with the rights of any other third parties. It is not affiliated with this podcast, we have no claim in any other than that of any third party or third party company. You can reach us directly through our website or any of our marketing services. We are not compensated for this podcast or other third-party services. Thanks for your support is not through this podcast is not being used in any of this podcasting platform, we thank you. (Thank you, if you have a credit card, we would be deeply appreciative of the service provided to us, we appreciate the support we receive from this podcast). and we appreciate your support, and we are very much appreciate the feedback. Also, thank you for all the kind words and support we get back and support is very much appreciated. - Thank you, we really appreciate it. in advance of the support you're being kind and support us in any way we can do this, it really helps us in advance, it helps us out.
Transcript
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00:00:01.000Remember when Matt and Trey were called South Park Conservatives?
00:00:34.000And I'm glad I'm married, because I'd be wondering what floozy caused that.
00:00:38.000But it's from a burrito that I didn't enjoy.
00:00:41.000And the desk that I had was, I'll be conservative, 8 feet by 6 feet.
00:00:51.000I thought it would look cool on camera, but it doesn't.
00:00:54.000And in our building, they said that we're, I could tell that they were junking an office next door, and I know the guy's there, and I said, can I give you some junk?
00:03:26.000And I hate the way, even today at the barber.
00:03:29.000The barbers were talking about, yeah, well, they got a South Park episode on that.
00:03:32.000It's sort of like the new, there's an app for that.
00:03:34.000So every time you bring up a thing, and we're bringing up that cliche thing that we always talk about in barbershops where the 14 year old's screwing his teacher and the dad died of excessive high fives.
00:03:45.000And when I was a boy, my teachers were all ugly.
00:03:50.000Man dialogue, but it's sort of our Rolling Stones.
00:03:54.000Like when you're just sitting with guys, you're not feeling creative, you want to barf out some words and not blow anyone's mind, you don't want to play devil's advocate and say things like, you know, more guns, less crime.
00:04:06.000You go, you talk about those hot teachers.
00:04:12.000Kumi has got a good bit about how, you know, when he was young, they were all just these old, big-titted Germanic women with, you know, buns in their hair, their hair up in a bun and a long wool dress, cankles.
00:04:26.000And he goes, now you look up your teacher and there's a picture of her on Instagram drinking a Bud Light on a boat with all her shit-faced friends.
00:04:35.000We did have one, though, Mrs. Hamilton, and she would kiss us.
00:09:39.000And for all that you lose, you gain the whole virtue signaling, I'm gay, it's horrible.
00:09:44.000I remember when Milo and I went down to Orlando after the Pulse shooting with bodyguards and, you know, we're eyeing the roof for assassins.
00:09:54.000And we bravely said, fuck Islam, and then started making out.
00:10:51.000Everyone wants it to be the 50s so badly.
00:10:53.000Anyway, sorry, that's quite a tangent to talk about, Trey.
00:10:56.000By the way, another sort of demographic that's been getting on my nerves recently, besides gays who think it's a big deal that they're gay and that they're in love with someone like we care, and black people who think it's so horrible being black and they're revolutionaries because they went to see a fucking superhero movie for kids.
00:11:14.000There's another demographic, there's these Jewish upper-middle class Jewish liberals, they have stubbly beards, they're over-educated, they usually have a master's in something, and on Twitter they put their name in brackets, and they think it's a big deal that they're Jewish.
00:11:33.000If there's one thing people care about less than if you're gay or if you're black, it's if you're Jewish in 2018.
00:11:42.000But I think these guys, their Baby Boomer parents, right, are still traumatized by all the horror stories that their grandfathers, you know, the father of Baby Boomer, told the dad.
00:11:52.000And that, those were horror stories, by the way, don't get me wrong.
00:11:55.000And then the dad, you know, tells the son these stories, passes him down.
00:12:23.000And you go, your whole existence, your whole political existence, is trying to impress your dad.
00:12:30.000And you're sitting there calling all these people Nazis, totally ignoring, you know, the jihadists who want to kill them, and just focusing on the Bigfoot, chasing these fictional Nazis everywhere.
00:12:43.000And they got Richard Spencer, they got Heather Heyer, they have like a half a dozen real cases, and they just extrapolate that into KKK America.
00:15:14.000And I think, well, wait a minute, Trey, as far as I'm concerned, you're closeted.
00:15:19.000So you did a whole successful super Broadway mega play about what a pussy you are if you stay in the closet.
00:15:26.000And didn't he have one on, I think there was a South Park about Tom Cruise called Trapped in the Closet, all about what a loser Tom Cruise is for not recognizing that he's a gigantic homosexual.
00:15:38.000But isn't that Trey Parker and his Japanese wife?
00:15:41.000And by the way, if you're gay and you're married and you haven't told the woman or you dump her, you know, after 15 years, I feel like that's kind of rape.
00:15:56.000I met this woman a few months ago out here in the burbs, and she said that her husband, who turned out to be gay, I believe, would schedule a cunnilingus Saturdays at 8 to 10.
00:16:10.000In other words, it makes him want to barf, but he knows he's supposed to do that, so let's at least delegate it to one time.
00:16:16.000So it would be like me, I'll eat anchovies Saturday at 10pm.
00:16:21.000Maybe I'll get drunk all day and it won't seem so bad.
00:16:24.000That's essentially what that guy was doing, eating anchovies.
00:16:26.000Now to treat a woman's vagina like an anchovy is rape.
00:16:31.000You were... It's like... She thinks she's having sex with Exhibit A, and you're actually Exhibit B. That's like having sex with someone else's wife, dressed in a Halloween costume at a Halloween party.
00:16:41.000You've got the same costume as her husband, and you're just wearing the same Frankenstein suit, plowing into some guy's wife.
00:16:50.000Oh, that cough had a little bit of a kick to it.
00:16:52.000I think we're getting through the... We're getting through the mist here.
00:17:04.000And I don't know why I had to segue all this heavy homosexuality to begin my South Park episode because this episode is just a bunch of stupid gossip.
00:17:20.000So they, they, and I know this to be a fact, so their first cartoon ever was this stupid construction paper crap where they, you know, stop motion animation and it was called like, Jesus Merry Christmas Sucks and Jesus is a Fag.
00:17:35.000And there's a thing a lot of gays do where they hate Christianity.
00:17:40.000Because they see it as a book, like the Quran, that says gays are stupid and gays stink.
00:17:48.000So the more they can discredit Christianity, the better it makes them feel.
00:17:53.000You know, I mean, we're all the same way.
00:17:55.000If someone hates us, we want to go, yeah, well, they're an idiot and they're not a good critic.
00:17:58.000So I'm actually glad that you hate me.
00:18:23.000I'm sure there are people in the South who read that, but even like, remember my fellow CRTV host, Phil Robertson, said, we're getting gays married, then what's next?
00:18:35.000You're gonna have marrying animals and all kinds of things, where does it end?
00:18:38.000I mean, you gotta follow the Bible or you don't.
00:18:41.000And he was considered a lunatic, and he was kicked off of Duck Dynasty, and then they realized, oh, actually, everyone likes him, I have to bring him back.
00:18:50.000But even he, at the peak of all that controversy, said, no, I'm not saying they're evil or going to hell, that's God's decision.
00:18:56.000I'm just telling you what's in the Bible.
00:19:01.000So even when you think you have this horrible homophobic Christian, you talk to the guy and he goes, no, no, no, I'm just saying it's considered a sin.
00:19:09.000So is boozing, by the way, and plenty of other stuff.
00:19:12.000But as far as like, damn thee all to hell, and I hate them all, and God hates fags, Fred Phelps stuff, no, no, no, no, no, that's not my job, that's God's job.
00:22:20.000And Matt then finds out that they're both instantly rich, from dishwashers to rich guys in the snap of a finger, thanks to Brian Graydon's resentment of Christianity and Trey Parker's deep-seated resentment of the Lord Jesus.
00:22:35.000So then Matt Stone goes, I want a house too!
00:22:38.000So he goes next door and does the exact same thing to the neighbors.
00:23:07.000Matt and Trey are now rich neighbors, and over time, the families that live there eventually get their stuff out and they move their stuff in.
00:23:15.000They're probably just sitting on the floor eating ramen noodles.
00:23:18.000That's what poor guys do when they get rich.
00:23:21.000And they begin the most successful show in the history of Comedy Central.
00:23:46.000In fact, I talked earlier about that woman, I forget her name, blonde haired woman, her nickname in the scene was the killer of comedy because she was so bad at her job and her job was being head of programming at Comedy Central.
00:25:24.000I'm not exaggerating when I say that it is on par with the roof of the Sistine Chapel.
00:25:31.000I feel the same way about any Curb Your Enthusiasm season, especially the last one.
00:25:37.000The whole concept of fatwa sex is so good.
00:25:41.000Both Team America, World Police, and the last episode of Curb, I don't even laugh.
00:25:46.000I just watch in awe at these beautiful brushstrokes.
00:25:53.000The way Larry David combines the A plot and the B plot at the end there, and I've written a lot of shows and that's a very challenging thing to do that I obviously wasn't very good at because none of my shows got picked up, but the way he does it with women in wheelchairs fighting over him at the end of the episode and dude, he was joking around on Kimmel, his character was, about the Ayatollah Khomeini
00:28:27.000Like, if I got two divorces and they usurped my nest egg and I needed a steady income to pay for my new wife and my new four-year-old now that I'm 68, that's a good job.
00:34:57.000Now, of course, my dad's Scottish, so to leave too much money... Like, I just want to throw down 100 bucks and run out the back, but our bill's only, like, 60.
00:35:03.000He's like, hang on, I'm gonna hang on!
00:35:06.000He'd rather we went to jail as pedophiles than leave too big of a tip.
00:35:12.000So I go, Dave and I gotta get out of here.
00:35:18.000I go, you guys go out the front, we sneak out the back door, we run across two parking lots, and I call him and I say, we're over here at this Ruby Tuesdays.
00:35:26.000And he goes, alright, I'll be there in a minute.
00:35:29.000And then he shows up, like ten minutes later, on his legs.
00:36:01.000I just thought we're going to go in here.
00:36:02.000Yeah, we're going to go bar hopping and then just leave the bar every time someone calls the cops.
00:36:07.000Meanwhile, I can see five cop cars out front with the sirens going, not the actual audio of sirens, but the lights lighting up the parking lot.
00:36:33.000And you know, in a strange way, I'm kind of on the mom's side.
00:36:38.000Like, if the daughter's an idiot, obviously, she's 17, and the family's terrible for letting some boy move down here to be with the daughter as a friend, even if they were the same sex, I'd say, uh, I'm not really into this chick who wants to move down here because she met you playing a video game.
00:36:58.000But outside of that, yeah, if your daughter tells you that someone with a video camera was talking about threesomes, yeah, I want to catch that guy.
00:37:07.000In this case, they would have got the wrong guy.
00:37:09.000Anyway, so Trey Parker and Matt Stone are so powerful that it's sort of like, remember when Joan Rivers got a job offer and she appeared on another talk show and Johnny Carson hadn't okayed it?
00:37:29.000And Johnny Carson is the one who gave Joan Rivers her career.
00:38:20.000Maybe this is back in the 90s in Canada.
00:38:23.000All my friends would do these things where you take medication or you try some horrible thing.
00:38:29.000Like Fat Peter, we used to call him, would have to eat like seven tablespoons of salt a day because they were doing a thing on salt intake.
00:38:39.000I think there was this other guy, Simon, I think he did the same experiment and he had a heart attack.
00:38:44.000At the end they had to rush him to the hospital.
00:38:46.000But these guys would abuse their bodies as they were guinea pigs, right?
00:38:50.000And the joke, of course, the play on words is testes as in balls, but testes as in testers and testes.
00:38:56.000And these guys, you know, they'd sit in a lab on bunks and they'd experiment with sleep deprivation and all kinds of stuff.
00:39:03.000It's fucked up that we do that, isn't it?
00:39:06.000It's like one step away from vivisection.
00:39:09.000We lock up these poor, you know, guys with college debt, and we pump them full of drugs to see what screws up their body the most.
00:41:51.000I'm 90% sure CRTV tonight will be picked up.
00:41:55.000I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you that, but I believe
00:41:57.000We'll do four episodes of Get Off My Lawn one week, and then the next week I'll only do two, and then go to DC or the studio here and shoot my new show, CRTV Tonight, which there's two episodes up already on CRTV.com.
00:42:13.000So that's essentially three things we do now.
00:42:17.000We have Get Off My Lawn, the show, CRTV.com, behind a paywall.
00:42:20.000We have CRTV Tonight every second Friday, ideally, and that's behind the panel on CRTV.com.
00:42:24.000And then we have this free podcast that is in the normal podcast world and that is not on CRTV.com.
00:42:32.000And on this one, I can swear and tell you secrets and not worry about lawyers all the time.
00:42:40.000Of course I'm gonna get sued, but who cares?
00:42:43.000You know, there's two ways you can go through life.
00:42:45.000Constantly worried about getting fired and getting sued, or just throwing it all into the wind and hoping that you don't get any diarrhea in your face.