What's the deal with kids and the family? Is it a good or bad thing? Is there a war on the family going on in America right now, or is there something else we should be focusing on? I ll tell you what I think, and why you should be worried about it. I ll also talk about how much I love having kids, and how cute they are, and what a great idea it is to have a kid in your life. And I ll explain why I think it's a good idea to have more than one kid, because kids are cute, and it's great to have them around you, especially when they're young and cute and cute! And if you don't have kids, you might want to try it before you knock it out on your lawn, because it's really fun having a little one in your house, especially if they're like 5 or 6 years old and you're not particularly impressed by celebrity kids, which is like... But if you've never had a kid, you can't even imagine this? It's hard to imagine this, but if you do have one, you're in for a treat, because you're gonna love it, right? I'll tell you why it's not a bad thing, and I'll give you some tips on how to keep them in your home, because they're so cute, it'll make you feel like you're a little bit better than you could ever be without them in a big house like that you've ever had one in a place like that's been your own. or a big one like that was like that it's like that, you'll get a little cuteness like that. You can have it all the cuteness in your own little house and you can have them at your house like a star in your front yard or something like that? You're not gonna want to miss it, you know what I bet they're gonna like it, it's going to be a lot of cuteness, you won't want to have one like it you'll like it? - it's gonna be a cuteness that's gonna make you think of them as much cuteness as you do it like you do that, like a little kid you're at peak cuteness you're going to have it like that in your kid is like, like, a big cuteness at 2-5 or 5-5?
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:01.000The best childhood in the history of childhoods must have been Brooklyn in the 1950s.
00:00:10.000It was a great time for America, great time for the West, because you don't know what you got till it's gone.
00:00:18.000And they just came out of World War II, which was really hell, right?
00:00:29.000Because people were so happy to be alive.
00:00:31.000They were jubilant in Britain during the Jubilee.
00:00:35.000Of course, that was juxtaposed by finding out what happened in World War II and seeing the pictures of the dead Jews and learning about the concentration camps.
00:00:44.000I don't think we really knew the extent of Hitler's carnage.
00:01:12.000Maybe a hundred people use that as an avatar.
00:01:15.000She said that as a little kid, there was this strange combination in Britain of the joy of being out of the war, and the horror of seeing all these dead bodies, this carnage, learning what had just gone on.
00:01:52.000I grew up with that, with punk rock, and... What's the matter with the nuclear family?
00:01:57.000Sometimes, and I love crafts, and I visit them every year, but, but that... I listen to the lyrics, like... Teaching little Johnny to shoot a gun.
00:02:06.000Terrific way for father to get to know his son.
00:02:11.000And I'm listening to it as an adult going, yeah, it is.
00:02:14.000It's a great way for a father to get to know his son.
00:02:18.000Or they have another song where they go, system, system, system, teach it, no, force her to crawl.
00:02:25.000And it's about, you know, how we train our children to be part of the system.
00:03:06.000And that's why I want to make today's episode about kids and the family.
00:03:10.000There's a real war on the family going.
00:03:11.000I was talking to Alex Jones about this during the week and he said, you know, when people come up to him on the street and attack him, they'll yell things like, there's too many people in the world because he'll be with his kids.
00:03:57.000I try not to make the podcast political.
00:04:15.000I want to talk about how cute kids are, but sometimes it leaks into that.
00:04:19.000And I worry about this hatred for the family, because I think, and I talked about this on my 100th episode on Get Off My Lawn, I think, guys, you might want to try it before you knock it.
00:04:33.000Having a little kid in your house, especially when they're at peak cuteness, which is like two to five, it's like Vince Neal's in your house.
00:04:42.000Like, you can't believe you have a rock star in your house.
00:05:20.000But there's a study that these two homosexuals were touting about how you're less happy after you have kids and Lauren Southern debunked it in a video.
00:05:31.000She did a reaction video and she says, and this is a woman without kids, she goes, I think what's happening here is you have a different scale of joy after kids.
00:05:43.000So when you're childless, you go, this weekend was awesome!
00:06:01.000You should definitely have that under your belt.
00:06:03.000But I would consider that the worst weekend ever now.
00:06:08.000And so you you have a different level of joy because first you have this rock star in your house, but there's also this huge Sword of Damocles this huge sense of responsibility So you're not really happy
00:06:22.000If you don't do anything that weekend, because you feel like you failed your kids.
00:06:25.000Like last weekend, I took my son to baseball on Saturday, and then the whole family went skiing on Sunday.
00:06:31.000You go to bed feeling really good that night, because they weren't on screens, and you go, I'm doing my job.
00:08:21.000I can't just have, like, a Gavin door there.
00:08:24.000It has to match the rest of the cabinetry.
00:08:27.000So I'm having a professional carpenter.
00:08:28.000300 bucks he's charging me, by the way.
00:08:31.000That's the problem with having a nice house.
00:08:33.000Every time you get a quote, it's twice what you think it should be.
00:08:38.000So, 300 bucks, and it's gonna be a little door, and I have a plug in that part of the closet, so I could have a power bar there, and I can plug in, you know, infinite iPads and iPhones, and I'm gonna be the only one with the keys.
00:08:49.000And I will put all of the phones in there, because, I swear to God, it's like having Coke around Japs.
00:08:56.000And by Japs, I mean Jewish American princesses.
00:08:59.000And if you didn't grow up in Montreal or New York, you probably don't know what I'm talking about, but they are voracious when it comes to Coke.
00:09:04.000If you're doing coke in the bathroom and there's a Jap around, you're gonna hear pounding on that door that it's gonna shake the deadbolt.
00:10:21.000But, you're also making your kid a freak.
00:10:24.000And I, you know, I hang out with all these weirdo anarchists, especially in Britain, and I'm with their homeschooled kids, and they're weird.
00:10:54.000So if I outlaw Fortnite, I make him a freak, and he can't talk, you know, to his friends at school, and they also socialize playing this stupid game with their headphones on.
00:11:22.000And that's when she socializes right on their little chats, and then I think so I cut that out And she's the only available for half an hour a day well now she can't socialize and the whole reason we moved to the burbs Was to try to get back to Brooklyn in the 50s or at least my bucolic childhood Which was suburban Canada in the 70s and in both cases you?
00:11:43.000Disappear after breakfast and you come home when the streetlights go off pretty perfect
00:12:57.000So, I have to constantly monitor who's on a screen, I try to hide them, they find them.
00:13:02.000And every time I hear silence in the house, I know something's up.
00:13:05.000And I'll go upstairs, downstairs, I'll find someone, sometimes in a closet, on a goddamn screen!
00:13:15.000You know a good tip, uh, to traumatize them?
00:13:20.000You sneak up on them when they're in a hiding spot on a screen, and you take your shoes off, right, just socks on the floor, and you get up nice and close, and you go, OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
00:15:07.000A challenge to get these screens away.
00:15:08.000So I'm going to have to confiscate my daughter's phone the second she comes home, put it in that lock thing, lock it up.
00:15:13.000Then phase two of the plan is boredom.
00:15:16.000Then they get bored, they stare at the wall.
00:15:18.000My son was so bored last weekend that he started banging his face on the couch, the Chesterfield as we call it in Canada, and he got a nosebleed.
00:15:29.000This is after I said, should we set up a play date?
00:16:05.000Because they, you raise city kids, and then you take them to the country, and they don't know how to country play.
00:16:12.000So, I would try locking them outside, and I would come back 20 minutes later, they're all bundled up, you know, in their snowsuits, and they're sitting on the goddamn porch.
00:16:23.000So now I gotta get my snowsuit on and take them for a six-hour walk in the woods, hoping, like, identifying... I'm not very good at that, but identifying the few things I can identify, the plants and birds and stuff, and explaining, you know, there could be a bear in there.
00:21:53.000My wife got it for me at some trip to the Dells.
00:21:55.000I don't want to splash my son with it, my youngest, because I don't want to burn him.
00:22:01.000I said that to a guest on my old show, who was a born-again Christian, and she took me totally seriously and suggested some exorcisms I could do.
00:23:02.000But dammit he's so cute and the way he talks like I'm I know like it's it's impossible to make people see your kids as cute But maybe through me talking about it.
00:23:11.000You can see that you'll be saying that about your kid.
00:23:54.000But, I really, one thing about being a parent, too, is you appreciate your parents, and if your parents were one of the 50% that stuck it out, stuck together, I'll do a whole other one on this, on the secrets to marriage, too, because just briefly, the secret to marriage is to accept that there's gonna be a bad, some bad times.
00:26:54.000So, surely if you moved to China, if you moved to Beijing, and God help you if you moved to Beijing, you'd have a rough time, you'd have a rough year, learning the language,
00:27:03.000That stupid language would take you forever.
00:27:05.000Learning the customs, taking off your shoes, learning all this stuff about saving face.
00:28:09.000It comes up when we're watching movies and we're watching Charlize Theron beat the shit out of seven Green Berets, as Nick DiPaolo says, and I'm watching it going, oh, for crying out loud, why do they always have to ruin movies with this affirmative action crap?
00:28:22.000And she goes, why can't you just enjoy the movie?
00:28:24.000And I go, because they're trying to brainwash us.
00:28:49.000I honestly said I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I said the world's overpopulated.
00:28:53.000And now, you know, when my wife makes dinner and we have it in the dining room, on the big dining room table, I said this on my show the other day, do the Selkirk Grace, and just looking at them chew, it really is heaven.
00:29:06.000And then there's that horrible day when they stop being little kids and they become children.
00:32:30.000So when he looks tough and he's wearing like a Batman cape, you have to go, holy shit, you're a fucking badass, dude.
00:32:39.000And when they punch you, you have to go, oh my god.
00:32:42.000Oh, that was like getting kicked in the balls, but it was a punch in the arm.
00:32:46.000Meanwhile, his little sausage arm, it feels like someone tapped you.
00:32:54.000And so, all of this cuteness, all of this fun, is great and everything, but as a parent, you have to temper that with this need for them to get outside and just have fun.
00:33:05.000You know, I talked about this a long time ago, but my dad grew up dirt poor in the projects in Glasgow, where he was surrounded by four giant buildings, right?
00:33:15.000And they made a square, and in the middle of the square, there was just grass.
00:33:19.000and it wasn't big and you would play soccer there 24 hours a day basically and if there was one-on-one when it was like 10 p.m.
00:33:26.000because those people had shitty parents fine at noon it would be like 30 on 30 and you just go on the losing team or the team with the fewest people and so the game would just grow just like the Sun at noon it would be biggest and we get smaller and smaller until it was you know 11 p.m.
00:33:42.000and there'd be no one playing soccer the ball would just sit there that was one ball for a hundred kids no toys no one had toys
00:33:49.000And if you're hungry, you'd yell up for a jelly piece, and your ma would wrap it in newspapers and throw it out the windy, and that would land down, you'd have your jelly piece and get back to your game.
00:34:03.000Then my childhood, unbelievably awesome, hopping on my bike.
00:34:08.000We had these bikes, I was talking to another old guy about this, another dad.
00:34:13.000Right before BMX bikes came out, whenever that was, 1979, there were these, there was normal bikes, like banana seat bikes was the mid-70s.
00:34:23.000And then, I'm gonna guess around 77, 78, they
00:35:28.000Because we also live near a nature preserve in Nepean, Ontario, and we would go explore in the forest on our awesome dirt bikes, which you have so much energy at that age that it is like having an engine.
00:35:40.000The engine is your legs and you're just whipping, whipping through the forest with your big treads.
00:35:47.000It had the same treads as a dirt bike.
00:35:50.000I tried to find some of these online, and as American Pickers will tell you, boys destroy their bikes.
00:35:55.000So, when you find one of these, it's just dead.
00:35:59.000It's not like there's any kind of okay condition.
00:36:10.000And then my kids now have this childhood where it's playdates, and I have to trick them into going outside, and I have to literally lock screens away in a $300 cabinet, just trying to get back to the 70s.
00:36:24.000And I honestly believe the 70s weren't as good as that bucolic, sorry to overuse that word, bucolic 1950s childhood, even though in Brooklyn,
00:36:37.000In an area like Red Hook, there was dead bodies everywhere.
00:36:42.000The mob was thriving in the 50s and 60s in Brooklyn.
00:36:46.000All those Italian immigrants, they just survived World War II, they were ruthless animals, and their system that they used to survive Mussolini back in the 30s and 40s was setting up their own government and having their own police force, and those police were murderers.
00:37:02.000If you didn't pay your wages or you said the wrong thing, you were murdered.
00:37:06.000And so as a kid, you'd be playing, you know, that stupid game with the ring and the stick, with your knickers on, knocking that down the street.
00:37:15.000And you'd see a dead body covered in a blanket with blood everywhere.
00:37:18.000Even including that, that childhood was the best, because it was dense kids.
00:37:33.000And they would, you know, if someone hit a little kid, say a retard, smacked a retard in the head, a mom would run out and go, hey, what are you doing?
00:40:09.000Recently which is like this old money White privilege, it's everything the social justice warriors fear It's every guy there looks like those grumpy dudes from the balcony on the Muppet Show You know those two guys the bald guys.
00:40:23.000It's just a giant Bar and restaurant of all those guys wearing three-piece suits pinstripe suits with ties all awesome funny guys Who are all incredibly wealthy?
00:40:35.000And they're the ministers of industry in New York, but they all got New York accents.
00:40:40.000And this isn't like Britain, where they literally will have like lord someone pants running Virgin Records in the 70s.
00:40:48.000You don't, we don't have lords here in America and all those guys grew up poor in South Brooklyn and Red Hook and Coney Island and they played basketball and then the black kids would show up and they would get in a fight and
00:41:02.000That hardscrabble childhood led them to be great entrepreneurs.
00:41:07.000I think there's a problem now with, um...
00:41:11.000With these millennials and being overeducated and Charles Murray talks about this in the curmudgeon's guide to getting ahead, which I highly recommend for you young people.
00:41:20.000He talks about how the these these CEOs see these resumes of PhDs in, you know, quantum physics and biochemistry and they go, man, you never mowed a lawn like I did.
00:41:34.000I don't really I don't think I'll be able to relate to you.
00:41:38.000My kids are going to work at a gas station when they're 14.
00:41:40.000I don't care if I have to pay the gas station for them to work there.
00:41:44.000I don't care if they make a dollar an hour.
00:42:15.000You know, we're raising a generation of people who get their steak from the waitress and say to her at the age of 14, did you go to kill it first?
00:43:55.000She's tried to delete the tweet, but it's some feminist abortion doctor who's flippantly talking about how she murders babies.
00:44:04.000But anyway, yeah, these kids, I had one of them, I talked about this on the old show, where we were at baseball and he drops his glove about a foot, it sort of rolls a foot and a half away from him, so it's maybe six inches closer to me than to him.
00:44:19.000And as he's rifling through his baseball bag, he just sort of casually looks over at me and goes, could you get that please?
00:45:14.000So you can only enforce so much here in your own home when you're living in a screened society.
00:45:19.000And then you can only discipline them so much and teach them respect and authority when they're around these au pairs and they see their friends bossing around adults.
00:46:08.000I'll end it with the lesson I learned from my dad at a young age, which is you can be friends with them when you're young, or friends with them when you're old.
00:46:16.000And I've chosen friends with them when you're old.
00:47:24.000And that guy is a stepfather to my friend, Rob, the guy I used to do Rooster with.
00:47:31.000And when he met the stepfather, the stepfather said, look, I know I'm not your dad, I'm not going to replace your dad, but if you ever need anything, you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here for you.
00:47:41.000I'm not talking about just financial support, but if you need advice about anything, I've done a lot of stuff.
00:47:45.000I went to military college when I was 12 by lying about my age.
00:47:49.000I've been around the block and I'm here for you.
00:49:20.000Daddy Daughter Dance is awesome, and there's ways to simulate that in your life.
00:49:23.000Like, for my family, I make sure I walk my sons to school.
00:49:27.000They go to separate schools, so I'll walk the youngest to school, after I walk the middle boy to school.
00:49:32.000And sometimes we don't talk that much.
00:49:34.000Sometimes I'll just tell them that important lessons, like recycling is bullshit, and guns are not bad, and your teachers are all liars, and school's a waste of time.
00:49:42.000You know, important lessons like that.
00:49:45.000Your teachers are all liars, they're all Marxists.
00:49:49.000And then sometimes it'll just be silence for a long time, but I'm putting in the time.
00:49:55.000And then with my daughter, obviously she goes to school farther away, and so I don't have a chance to take her to school, so I walk the dog with her.
00:50:34.000What's important is just, hello, I exist.
00:50:38.000When you're crying, I'm there to talk to you.
00:50:42.000And before the kids were so old, I had to allot time, like I'm gonna walk with you to school, even though you would rather take your bike or whatever.
00:50:49.000Uh, we did a thing where we had, like, Monday night was movie night, Tuesday night was pizza, Thursday night was art night, where I'd sit and show them how to draw a dog or whatever.
00:50:58.000Now they're too old for that, so we have to force other traditions.
00:53:13.000And then I also briefly wanted to touch on marriage, which I'll do a whole other podcast on, which is it can suck.
00:53:18.000You know, Naomi Schafer Riley, her and her husband, Jason Riley, are both great writers.
00:53:24.000And she says one of the reasons divorce is so high is you think that you're with your soulmate and your partner has to be your best friend and they have to like the same music as you.
00:53:35.000And you get, you know, it's just like hanging out with your bro, but your bro has a vagina.
00:55:38.000My daily show, Monday to Thursday, Get Off My Lawn.
00:55:41.000And of course, there is the free podcast that's going into your ears right now, creating vibrations on your tympanic membrane, which then send electronic signals to your brain, and those various shocks and blips and bleeps are translated into the English language, which is your mother tongue.
00:55:59.000And you are hearing that, gaining those thoughts, and those are literally memes.
00:56:04.000That's what separates us from monkeys.