In this episode, I talk about gay men in the suburbs and how they are not as bad as we think they are. I also talk about the death of Bencho and how he should have been remembered for his courage in standing up for the gay community. And then we talk about trans people and gay people in general and how that's not a bad thing at all. I don't think trans people are mentally ill, I think they're mentally ill. And I think that's a good thing, because trans people can be mentally ill too. And that's why trans people should not be discriminated against because they are trans people, because they're not mentally ill at all, and that's good, because it's good because they have a vagina and a uterus. And they're trans because they had a baby and they're gay because they don't have a uterus and they don t have a female partner because they aren't trans and they want to have a baby because they like to be a girl because they can be a dude. And it's not bad. I made this episode about gays because I want to pay my respects to Bencho, who died of an overdose and I think Bencho was one of the best people I've ever met and I wanted to remember him. I also wanted to talk about Bencho because he was a great guy and I thought Bencho should be remembered for being a good guy and for his bravery and courage in the face of his courage and his courage. and for being brave in the fight against drugs and his commitment to do what he did to do his best to be the best he could do for his country. Thank you Bencho. I love you, Bencho and I appreciate you, my boy, Benzo thank you, I really appreciate you. Love ya, I m sorry for your courage and respect you, you were a good dude. xoxo, my homie, my love, my friend, and I m proud of you, your courage, my good friend, your strength, your support, and my respect, your honesty, your love, your respect, and your support and your sacrifice, you are a good man, your heart, your words, you're a rockstar, you deserve it, you got it, and you're so much love, you care, you give me a lot of love, thank you so much, you love you back, you re a good friend.
Transcript
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00:00:00.000I forgot something in the heroin episode.
00:00:03.000Let me just move this mic a little closer.
00:01:01.000It's funny, moving to the suburbs from the city, because I moved out of my parents' house in the burbs when I was 18 in 1988, and it's been faggity, fag, fag, fag ever since.
00:01:12.000They're, you know, 50% of who you hang out with when you're sort of in the creative class in a city like Montreal, like New York City, even Ottawa.
00:02:07.000And then I come here, and there's this ordinance, and this president, Donald Trump,
00:02:13.000And no one, like they talk about taxes and stuff and how it's going to affect their real estate, but no one mentions gay marriage or trans anything.
00:03:20.000But a lot of these lesbians will go, yeah, I'm going to have a kid, so I'm going to be a chick for nine months and then go back to being a dude.
00:03:27.000In fact, the guy in this video, which I could probably find, let's see if I can find him.
00:03:31.000The guy in this video goes, yeah, I didn't really enjoy it.
00:03:33.000I didn't like being a bitch, but it had to be done.
00:03:56.000I forgot to mention him in the heroin episode, and I think it's relevant, but... I also wanted to talk about his gayness, which... You know...
00:04:04.000People are going to hate me for it because friends of a dead guy, they're very, and rightfully so, they're very careful about what you say about the person.
00:04:13.000You want to respect the dead, and I do respect Ben.
00:05:47.000And I'm looking at the ornament that Benjamin Cho made, and it's a drawing of my daughter, just with, like, a pen on this sort of cookie dough Christmas ornament we made.
00:08:02.000Because I came out when I was like 22, which in the grand scheme of things is pretty young.
00:08:09.000I know trans people who've come out in their 40s or 50s or 60s.
00:08:12.000But in retrospect, I was in the closet for a lot longer than I could have been.
00:08:16.000Like I just believed so many misconceptions that stopped me from ever even being able to consider that I might be trans or a lesbian.
00:08:24.000Sucks, because while I'm in a really good place now, I do wish that I would have been able to learn more about myself earlier on and come out sooner.
00:08:31.000Because I wasted so many years- Oh yeah, I wasted so many years not coming up with this awesome hustle.
00:08:42.000But you can't help but think, and this is the elephant in the room with all sexual deviance, you can't help but think, uh, you screw your significant other in her vagina.
00:12:28.000Because, and I've said this a million times, so you're a straight, no, you're a gay man, no, you're a woman with a penis, and you're a man with a vagina, so how did you find a date?
00:12:41.000Like this guy, in quotation marks, in this video, he is a normal dude, looks like a linebacker for the Seattle Nighthawks, what are they called?
00:14:03.000So at a young age, it just really didn't feel right.
00:14:06.000You know, I'm really talking about two things in this episode.
00:14:09.000One is being gay and how it must feel weird, even in the most progressive, cool, groovy environments, because it is weird.
00:14:18.000And then also, people like Riley Dennis, who like the cachet of being a minority and being a victim and being different, not just being a boring white male, and wanting to cash in on that.
00:14:32.000Also, by the way, wanting to get laid because it leads to poon.
00:15:15.000And methadone, half the time they just get addicted to methadone.
00:15:19.000Like Jackie on the Scottish sketch comedy show, Limmy's Show.
00:15:23.000I was a junkie for four years, for four year, and then I was addicted to methadone that was meant to get me off it.
00:15:36.000It's hard to do that character without having a cough.
00:15:40.000These methadone junkies are all over 14th and say 3rd.
00:15:44.000Actually, they're all over 14th Street.
00:15:46.000There must be a bunch of methadone clinics on 14th.
00:15:49.000But they're fun to watch and I'm looking at this one dude and you know they do that thing that tripod thing where they put their knees together and they think that they can just sort of sleep standing up like a horse and you want to walk over them over to them and go hey buddy
00:19:17.000Like, what marijuana was supposed to be?
00:19:19.000These junkie loser street people, through trial and error, have come across the highest quality goods, where us lazy people who, you know, smoke pot once in a while and will try drugs at a party, we're just like, whoever's there, that Puerto Rican guy named Frenchie?
00:20:06.000I did the pot in no time, and the coke didn't last very long, but the heroin lasted forever.
00:20:11.000So when I'd have people come back to my apartment after a night of partying or karaoke or whatever, I'd say, hey, we're out of coke, but I have some of this, and it'll take the edge off.
00:20:31.000And I heard he would sort of snuggle with Dash Snow and stuff like that.
00:20:34.000Remember what I was talking about in the last episode where straights would do gay stuff just because they were so wasted, high, and just sort of blah, blobby?
00:20:44.000I think that him and Dash got up to some weird, like, just making out.
00:21:48.000But, uh, he lived in Sri Lanka for a while.
00:21:54.000He did a book down there that's called something like, uh, No Man or Evil or something like that.
00:22:01.000And, uh, he's a great investigative reporter, very talented man.
00:22:05.000And, uh, so he comes out and there's my, my stag before the wedding was just dudes.
00:22:11.000We rented a huge hunting lodge and it was four days of just guys, guys, guys.
00:22:16.000So we drank like a million beers, did a million pounds of coke, smoked a bay of pot, no heroin, and it was funny because the night before the wedding my wife showed up with all her friends and we hadn't seen a chick in three days.
00:22:29.000Now I'm taken obviously, but my friends were horny as a hoot owl and they're like, what?
00:22:58.000I guess he had it from his Sri Lanka days?
00:23:01.000So this old man thinks he's going to seduce a 25-year-old wearing a sarong, like she's going to go, ooh, you're exotic, Mr. Gray Hair.
00:23:08.000Sorry, Bill, I'm not disparaging you, but that was the environment.
00:23:12.000And Ben Cho comes out, and he looks at him, and right off the dome, he goes, who knew a sarong could be so wrong?
00:23:24.000There was this girl Carol Lee we used to hang out with, a fellow Korean, and she'd be talking and he would just roll his eyes and go, shut your kimchi hole, Carol.
00:23:34.000See, I'm not even doing his delivery as good as he did.
00:23:37.000I felt like we were well matched as far as the insulting goes.
00:23:39.000I would call him Bobby Trendy, which was an Asian gay from the Anna Nicole Smith Show.
00:23:48.000I said to him too, I go, I don't know, whose stag do you go to?
00:23:51.000Do you come to my bachelor party or Emily's Bachelorette?
00:23:55.000We both like you, but I don't know who gets you.
00:24:16.000So his voice got all hoarse and he would still DJ.
00:24:20.000He came up, I think he came up with the whole Morrissey resurgence that skaters were into and they had a night at Sway in New York that everyone would go to.
00:24:32.000Like, I say that about Dash Snow, too.
00:24:34.000There's so many adjectives you could use, and it's hard to convey the sort of warmth and friendliness they give, but fun is just the easiest, fastest way to say it.
00:24:43.000Like, if you were at a party, or a club, or a bar, and you see Ben there, you're just like, yes!
00:25:16.000I think she's a doctor and she just had to go, well, he either kills himself now or slowly dies on heroin and he's not giving us a choice.
00:25:23.000That's what pisses me off about heroin addicts too, is they give their, their, their loved ones these shitty ultimatums where it's like, push me off a cliff and abandon me and hope I don't die or facilitate my death.
00:25:37.000So it's facilitate my death or facilitate my death.
00:27:53.000And I noticed this in the New York Post.
00:27:57.000They had this, they're called like the 2-1-1 crew or something, and these idiot academics started trying to document them so they could dox them and get them all fired.
00:28:07.000So these two boys got quote-unquote tuned up.
00:29:20.000I saw some video on drunk people doing things, the Instagram account, and there was some drunken idiot picking fights and then the cops show up and you can see like six guys pointing at the drunk so the cop can get him and he ends up getting arrested.
00:29:33.000You think, dude, you're in a mob of six.
00:29:36.000A drunken buffoon is picking a fight with you.
00:31:51.000I know another guy, another New Yorker, who has a black wife and black kids, and he goes, best thing about being a white dad is the kids, they want to, my girls, they want to eventually get with a white guy.
00:32:02.000So I don't have to worry about black guys coming by.
00:32:05.000Because they've seen that white guys are good husbands, right?
00:32:08.000So my girls are going to get with the right kind of guy.
00:32:12.000Out of like, in Nebraska and obviously Los Angeles, that kind of talk sounds insane.
00:32:20.000But it's what happens when you're in a big city like New York and you're piled on top of one another.
00:32:24.000Which is why it was so dumb for the Post to assume that these guys are Nazis.
00:32:29.000Do you know how tired you'd be if you were a Nazi or a homophobe in New York walking through the West Village?
00:32:58.000When I was a kid, before trannies became just anyone's cup of tea, they were the, you were scared of them.
00:33:06.000Remember at the Black and Blue in Montreal was this gay rave we would go to meet chicks because fag hags are delicious prey.
00:33:12.000You'd see a tranny slip in his barf and get up and keep dancing and you'd know if you fuck with that guy he's gonna take off his heels and they're gonna pierce your temple.
00:33:22.000Trannies, when I was a young man, were always scary.
00:33:26.000So yeah, if you're a fag basher in New York City, you're going to get bashed real fast.
00:33:32.000So the idea of racists in New York is just stupid.
00:33:36.000And this, you know, you look at these punk bands in the 80s, the hardcore bands like Cro-Mags and Agnostic Front, and half the time these New York bands were Cuban exiles who loved America and capitalism because they'd experienced socialism.
00:33:51.000But the pansies over on the West Coast at Maximum Rock and Roll, like editor Tim Yo, would go, oh, those New Yorkers are total Nazis.
00:34:00.000You go, no, dude, they're just patriots.
00:34:01.000And they're singing about welfare abuse because it happens in their building.
00:34:16.000They get food stamps and they buy groceries and then send them to the Dominican Republic, where people aren't starving, but it fuels a bodega.
00:34:25.000So the bodega in DR, their entire inventory comes from my food stamp tax dollars.
00:35:44.000Say East New York, you know, Bushwick or something, and you'll see a guy with a toolbox going home, and he's kind of nodding off on the bus, because he did a little bump of smack on the way home.
00:36:46.000And the poo had stayed in his pants for so long that the denim and the skin had become
00:36:52.000Just like sexuality had become a spectrum.
00:36:57.000And there wasn't necessarily skin, feces, and denim.
00:37:02.000Sure, they generally divided into those three categories, but there was a gray area where some of the poo was actually part of his body, and some of the pants were actually part of the poo that were part of his body.
00:37:14.000They had melded together and become one.
00:37:20.000Can you imagine, like, how about these people who go to medical school for 12 years memorizing Latin terms, and they get some junkie who nearly pooed his pants to death?
00:37:40.000Don't don't drink it when you're in there chunky get in a hot bath and What they do this is what the guy told me and they soak you for like two days and they soak the denim and the poo off and then it's just raw skin your legs look like Freddy and They just have to slowly Oh
00:38:31.000He had so many venereal warts, uh, on his anus that, uh, he couldn't go to the bathroom.
00:38:37.000So we had to give him a colostomy bag while we treated it.
00:38:41.000And then he said, he said that another guy, he had so many on his penis that I had to, uh, just dip the entire thing in the liquid nitrogen.
00:38:51.000And then to remove that like a sheath.
00:38:54.000So sort of like Kentucky Fried Chicken, you just would take the skin off and then he had a Freddy dick and then that would rebuild itself.
00:41:27.000And then you shake it up, and it gets a little bubbly, and then the crystals dissolve into the meth, and you're supposed to put that on your genitalia.
00:41:34.000Probably the only way that that weird trans black couple could make sense of their genitalia.
00:41:38.000And then it feels good, and you screw to house music for 36 hours.
00:41:44.000Thank you for the wedding present, Chris.
00:41:49.000I think I got some on my fingers because I went to do some emailing after that and it was like, tick tock, tick, tick, tick, tick.
00:41:59.000And then, and then, and then, my fingers were typing on the keyboard so fast that it was a frequency, like an A flat.
00:42:13.000And then slowly as it wore off, it was like... Back to normal.
00:42:23.000But he got AIDS at a circuit party doing meth and screwing for 36 hours.
00:42:30.000And I said to him, Chris, uh, that's not normal.
00:42:36.000I mean, they, you know, Fred Phelps says God hates fags, but it's possible that nature, uh, has checks and balances for extreme sexual indulgence, which basically all gays seem to get up to.
00:42:48.000I mean, you're, you're talking about a gay conservative, like at Fox News or something in the green room, and you're like, you have 30 dicks in your face sometimes.
00:42:56.000You know, even your most normal making love
00:44:01.000I remember I was in a special class in eighth grade for kids who couldn't shut up.
00:44:06.000It was mostly retards, actually, but there was also some kids who were dying of cancer and me, the class clown who couldn't stop talking during class and wasn't mature enough to have multiple teachers.
00:44:17.000Sort of like Jeff Spicoli, really, but not Stone.
00:44:33.000And I would try to shut up in class and I literally sit on my hands and I could maybe go like half a day shutting up, but then it all come up.
00:44:46.000That's why it could never be advice because as we got bigger and bigger, I thought, all right, I gotta be a good boy now.
00:45:02.000We'll see how long it lasts, but this is the filth.
00:45:06.000And it's also homophobic racist filth, too.
00:45:11.000I'm thinking about Craig having, sorry, Chris, having sex for 36 hours, and I'm thinking
00:45:19.000Like, if you were a bug, and I said this to Chris, if you were a bug, and you fucked for 36 hours, you'd wear out your little cockroach penis.
00:46:07.000Like, if you're gay, and you have a surrogate, and you raise your kid with two gays, isn't that kind of morally wrong?
00:46:16.000Because you're definitely at a disadvantage.
00:46:18.000It's sort of like a deaf, I should do a whole other episode about this, but say you're deaf and you know having a kid, your kid's going to be deaf.
00:46:55.000If you're a single mom and you have a kid knowing you're going to be a single mom, like you don't have a daddy in the family or you get inseminated or something, that seems to me very wrong.
00:47:05.000You're starting your kid at a disadvantage and there's piles of data out there saying that single moms, children of single moms do worse than children with parents.
00:47:16.000Now, we don't have a lot of data on children of gays, and I obviously have no problem with gays going up to an orphanage or taking some kid who had no family, no other options, saying, I'll take him.
00:47:46.000And when we glorify junkies who die and are very taboo about how we talk about it and don't tell the whole story, it's a disservice to junkies today.
00:47:57.000We have to say, you're a junkie, you fucked up.
00:49:46.000I just had to get that heroin story off my chest and discuss the homos and how in New York you're allowed to talk like this without being vilified.
00:49:55.000And I'm allowed to talk like this without being vilified because I feel like I got my audience now.
00:49:59.000Even if I get fired, I could just charge people four bucks and they'd still tune in.