In this episode of the podcast, I talk about divorce and how to deal with it. I also talk about why Baby Boomers are the worst generation in the history of generations, and how they ruined everything except their kids' education and ruined the world. And I talk a little bit about my own divorce story and how it's not as bad as I thought it was. I hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do, please tweet me and tell me what you think of it in the comments section below! Timestamps: 1:00:00 - I m not getting divorced. 2:30 - Divorce is hard. 3:15 - It s like moving to China. 4:20 - You have to learn a new language. 5:40 - You can't have a bad year. 6:00 You can just ride it out. 7:10 - There are some rocky times. 8:30 9:00 Is divorce bad? Can you handle it? 11:00 How do you deal with divorce? 12:00 What do you do when it s not easy? 13:00 Does it suck? 14:00 Are you ready for it to be a good thing? 15:00 Do you want to have a good year? 16:00 Can you cope? 17:30 Do you have a kid? 18:00 Should you just give up? 19: Is it possible to stay in the doghouse? 21:10 22:30 Can you stay in a good place? 23:30 Is it ever be a bad thing to get a good job? 25: What s a good deal? 26:30 What s your favorite part of your life? 27:30 Are you a good person? 28:30 How much money should you pay for your house? 29:00 Who are you paying for your kids? 30:00 Why are you going to pay for college? 35: What are you getting a car? 31:40 Can you be a better than that? 32: What is a good guy? 33:30 Should you have more money? 36:30 Who s better than your parents are better than you don t have a car ? 34:40 Are you better than a good friend? 37:40
Transcript
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00:00:54.000And every time I get this explained to me from the children of divorce, which is my generation, Gen X, and everyone after that, I just think, what a mess.
00:01:06.000What a terrible mess your parents made.
00:01:09.000I think that one of the reasons my wife and I are attracted to each other initially is because she comes from two parents who are together, I come from two parents who are together, and we knew we'd both be in it for the long haul.
00:01:44.000If you were to move to China, you'd have to learn Chinese and read the Chinese newspaper and eat their gross food, learn about the culture, and then you'd probably get into it.
00:01:52.000And then I bet three years in, you're sort of like, Yes, I can say nigga if I'm speaking Mandarin.
00:03:01.000Marriage, obviously, there's the easy part at the beginning, and then you start having kids, and there's, you know, you gotta, you decide to move, you move cities, your jobs have ups and downs, and that's when it's like moving to China.
00:03:29.000To just give up is a strange phenomenon and I remember as a kid in the 80s my dad's that's when it blew up I would say 1980 before that you would you'd handle it even though my grandmother was divorced in 1955 but um
00:03:46.000For the most part, it's a baby boomer thing, and they're spoiled brats who ruined the world.
00:03:50.000That'll be a whole other podcast about how they quadrupled the price of education and divided the quality by four, how they destroyed real estate and all of a sudden it takes you your entire life to pay off your house.
00:04:04.000They just ruined everything in their obsession with multiculturalism at all costs and affirmative action, destroyed meritocracy.
00:05:18.000Although it's pretty cold in Scotland too, but so anyway, sorry.
00:05:20.000So I'd have these guys sitting on my couch, sleeping on my couch for weeks at a time while they got their lives together.
00:05:26.000This is the days where they wear the short-sleeved dress shirts, have brown striped tie, and brown slacks, and black socks, and low corny loafers.
00:05:36.000And it kind of, after they'd sleep on your couch, there was a weird smell, a man smell.
00:06:18.000Like, I probably see your kid more than that.
00:06:22.000Your kid comes over to my house for playdates more than you see your own kid.
00:06:26.000That's horrific, and that weekday sucks, because kids have, you know, little league baseball, and soccer, and whatever, track, and then they have their homework, and then they have dinner.
00:06:36.000Sometimes you only see them for half an hour.
00:06:38.000So you waited a whole week for that Wednesday dinner, and it's just like, yeah, hi, whatever.
00:06:43.000Not that kids are very talkative, by the way, at dinner, especially if you've gone from dad to cool uncle.
00:07:11.000I'd be like Charles Bronson in Death Wish.
00:07:13.000I would just wake up at 8 p.m., have a bowl of mac and cheese and a protein shake, do pull-ups, and then assemble my gun for that night's assassinations of bad guys.
00:09:14.000This is, I'm talking about the woman and it leaves him like a hundred grand or whatever, maybe more, 500, depending if you're middle class.
00:09:22.000And then she goes, Hey, I'm independently wealthy now.
00:10:35.000Of course, you do all that work, and some asshole has growing pains, or a nightmare, and then he comes into the room, or she, and you go, you just look at them and you think, thanks bitch, you just blew my whole date.
00:10:50.000And then you go, oh no, you had a bad dream?
00:10:53.000Well, okay, it's okay now, why don't you, why don't you go back to your bed and understand that monsters don't exist, this is just a stupid bad dream, I have nightmares every single night.
00:11:03.000I wake up at four in the morning with the dars, as the Irish say, the horrors.
00:11:09.000And I think it's my liver saying, can you get up and get me some water?
00:11:12.000I'm just trying to clean this blood here and I'm out.
00:11:48.000So if I'm in the doghouse, then I'm gonna starve to death.
00:11:51.000It also gives you incentive to stay out of the doghouse.
00:11:56.000And by the way, as a side note, I've noticed porn, I've seen it ruining young men's lives.
00:12:01.000I've always had interns, I've always been around young people, and within the past, say, five to ten years, closer to five, I've noticed these young people go, yeah, I'm a virgin, with no stigma.
00:12:16.000I was a 17-year-old virgin, and I was the laughingstock of my gang.
00:12:20.000Like, I was almost beaten for being such a loser, being so late.
00:12:57.000And I go, well, you gotta quit porn, because that'll give you the incentive to get off the couch.
00:13:00.000You'll come home after a hard day's work, and you'll be tired watching Netflix, and someone will say, hey, there's a party on eucliptus and maple.
00:13:25.000I invented this this we call it no wanks with this comedian Dante Nero and we did it as a dare to see if we could go a month and then after that we go we're actually done for life because we were just smarter singing in the shower more on top of stuff crossing things off our to-do list we were just better human beings and by the way you go well what if my wife's pregnant or whatever no no no you can only
00:13:51.000Uh, ejaculate within one yard of your significant other.
00:13:55.000So if she's pregnant or not in the mood or whatever, you just have to have, and she has to be awake and consensual.
00:14:00.000You just have to have some sort of exchange.
00:14:02.000You can be doing all the work on yourself.
00:14:50.000Now, obviously, a big part of the doghouse is refusing sexual relations with a lady, with a person, and that's much harder on dudes than it is on chicks.
00:15:00.000So, it's sort of like Bobby Sands going on a hunger strike.
00:17:19.000All of a sudden it was him not wanting her instead of her not wanting him and he changed the whole power dynamic.
00:17:24.000I guess I should check up on that and see how it went.
00:17:27.000But even if it didn't go anywhere and he didn't get her, he still saved the humility of being in the friend zone, being placed in the friend zone.
00:17:39.000He put the cops in jail instead of the cops putting him in jail.
00:17:42.000So even if nothing happened from it, he's left with with face, as the Asians say.
00:17:47.000And, not to mention, she's gonna feel inspired, because no one's probably ever asked her that before.
00:17:52.000She's gonna be inspired to say, what about my friend Mandy?
00:19:52.000That's the only good part of the patriarchy, is buying me free stuff.
00:19:56.000And then he waits and waits, she doesn't pay the bill, so he pays the bill, and then they're walking home, and, you know, they've had some drinks, and he's doing what all men do on dates, he tries to get invited upstairs, and he goes, let's just go up to your place, just, what, Netflix and chill or whatever the kids today say, and she goes, nah, I don't think so.
00:20:13.000He goes, we'll just go up for a second, just a little nightcap, just a little, have a shot or whatever.
00:20:37.000Now it's a rape that I want to go up to your room.
00:20:39.000And so he went home and that was, that's a millennial date.
00:20:44.000So I throw around a lot of blame for the lack of marriage and the prominence of divorce, but, uh,
00:20:51.000There's there's culpability on all fronts, you know, I mean and even these single women who I make fun of them I call them spinsters and I say haha you smash the patriarchy when you smash your ovaries at the same time But no one's proposing to these girls either.
00:21:05.000These guys are at home masturbating after driven there by feminism.
00:21:08.000So we're dealing with a hell of a mess Just like the mess I said earlier when I was talking about
00:21:15.000When I talk to divorced people about who, so what's going on now?
00:21:20.000I was talking earlier, I hope, about when I talk to divorced people about their siblings and that, oh, it's my stepbrother, and no, that's the second marriage.
00:21:27.000And then I call this, no, that's not my dad.
00:21:42.000And if you would just, if you would just wait it out and go through the bad things, you can even do a thing, this might go in the book too, called divorce.
00:21:56.000Because I wrote an article about this on Tackymag called Divorce Your Wife, and just like the 10 things I hate about Jews, everyone just takes the title literally and ignores what's below it.
00:22:06.000It's kind of, you know, you're tricking people into mocking themselves for being lazy.
00:22:10.000But no one minds when you say divorce your wife.
00:22:39.000Because I think it was a... I'm very careful, by the way, talking about Chuck Zito because he will knock you out if you say something bad about him.
00:23:03.000And what people do is, oh well, I'll get divorced and start from scratch.
00:23:07.000And then you check in on them later and they basically have the same relationship but with a different person and less kids and less fatherhood.
00:23:13.000That's another disturbing thing too about divorce.
00:23:15.000Every time you talk to these people or they do a little video,
00:23:19.000They always talk about how it's better for them.
00:23:22.000And, oh, I don't have to go, I can have dinner whenever I want, and I can do this and that, and I get to live free, and I don't have to worry about my- One of them I saw, it said, I don't have to worry about my husband getting the kids all riled up with playtime before bed, and then I have to put them down when they're all hyper.
00:24:01.000with this, where he brags, basically, about his divorce, and he has that bit where he goes, never say to someone, oh, I'm so sorry, when they say they got divorced.
00:24:12.000And he says, when you're talking to someone who's divorced, they never got out of a good thing.
00:24:16.000They never just got out of a fun marriage.
00:24:20.000Actually, they often do, because they were cheated on.
00:24:43.000They're not around sometimes for the better part of a year.
00:24:46.000Yeah, but the kids understand that their dad made a huge sacrifice and he would be there if he could.
00:24:51.000Not his parents got bored of each other and he moved to a neighboring town and the courts won't let him be the co-parent the way he should on a daily basis.
00:25:05.000I've also talked to divorced people, by the way, and they say that they're kind of like pariahs in their neighborhood because
00:25:14.000So whether they're male or female, married people don't want them around in case they do that thing also in Husbands and Wives where Judy Davis goes, I like being single.
00:25:24.000They think you might sell it too well and then I'll lose my marriage.
00:26:08.000And the other thing about marriage too is you go through different levels.
00:26:13.000And you end up looking back over the two-year marriage relationship and they look like a bunch of little kids and you go, you call that a marriage?
00:26:45.000And by the way, people who aren't in marriages, you wonder why all we do is complain about our significant others when we're at the barbecue?
00:26:52.000It's because this stuff is nauseating for me to talk to you about how if my wife were to shave her head or grow her hair long, I don't really care.
00:27:15.000Now you're looking for someone who is your type, attractive wise, who gets along with your kids, who, you know, it wouldn't break the bank, uh, to, to be with her.
00:27:26.000Um, and, uh, you could not have to move.
00:27:57.000I really don't recommend couples therapy, by the way.
00:27:59.000I've never been, I never would ever go, and everyone I talk to, it's just like the final, it's the death knell before divorce.
00:28:08.000They go in there, they get too honest, they complain, they say things that they can't take back, deep-seated things about, I don't know, lusting someone else or something I really don't like about you to your core, and then the couple can't get over it.
00:28:21.000I heard this one guy told me he went to couple therapy and she said, okay, first question I always ask a couple, um, what do you guys do when you have free time?
00:28:30.000When the parents have the kids, you're on vacation or something, do you have sex?
00:28:34.000And they go, yes, like we're like rabbits.
00:28:53.000I think a lot of these couples therapists are saboteurs who have had their own terrible relationships, their own divorces, and they want to subject everyone else to it.
00:29:03.000Misery loves company, and I think they're evil.
00:29:05.000And I know of concrete examples of this, where a guy was going out with a girl, they were doing great, he was about to propose, she went to a therapist or whatever, and they do that whole, you don't need him,
00:29:17.000That's the thing, that's what I wanted to get to.
00:29:21.000With the general attitude here, especially with women, even with professional women, who are in therapy or whatever, and running these sessions, their attitude is, you don't need that, girl!
00:29:32.000And maybe it's a chick thing, where you want to encourage your fellow woman, and they just go, girl, you don't need that, get out of there!
00:30:04.000Now, he stopped smoking pot and got in shape, and then she said, God, I wish he'd done that when I was around, and then she was crying, and why didn't you fight for me?
00:31:57.000And that, that couple therapist I was telling you about, I'll just finish the story now, she goes, he says, well, what if I had said we don't, we don't fuck like rabbits when we're on vacation.
00:32:05.000And she said, yeah, we'd start dismantling it.
00:32:07.000And I thought, wait a minute, that's like, you're going to your local priest.
00:32:12.000And you say, hey, I've been having these thoughts about atheism and how frivolous it all is and this stupid Santa Claus in the sky who made the world and...
00:32:21.000Well, we were, but our pets go to heaven.
00:32:23.000I just, I'm having, I'm having trouble with my faith.
00:32:27.000And that's like a priest saying, oh, well, well, if it's not working out for you, we should start coming up with a plan to dismantle this, to end this.
00:33:39.000You don't want me running your dating app because I just keep going, yes, yes, yes, yes, sure, sure, yep, yep, yep, yep-er-doodle, yep, yep, yep.
00:35:19.000Ladies, if your husband dies or he's a piece of shit, he walks out of the family or he cheats on you, you have a moral obligation to get remarried.
00:35:29.000I know a lot of couples and people who they, there's some sort of catastrophe or some horrible thing happened, especially with, with boomers who weren't that used to divorce and they were single and they just raised the family as a single mom.
00:38:01.000That would be the equivalent of just spooning, I guess.
00:38:04.000But you can do all these different things and don't give up.
00:38:07.000And when I see these people who got divorced, they don't go, wow, I'm so glad that's over.
00:38:14.000They go, I guess we could have worked it out.
00:38:16.000There's another problem here too, especially with women, where human beings can sort of erase the past because otherwise you're living a life of regret.
00:38:24.000So when you look this up online, all the articles are like, I love being a single mom and divorce totally rocks.
00:38:34.000So it's hard to get a straight answer out of people, but I can see, I see in kids, I see in the children of divorce who are in their forties, many of them, I just see regret and a huge mess, a huge pile of shit they made for themselves.
00:40:40.000Filming them is often a challenge because they stop when they see the cameras out because they feel like they're being exploited But um, oh my god those Terrible dance moves he was doing with his catatonic Dead robot face because it was so intense like worth so we have to sit there going.
00:40:58.000That's amazing And like these movies I made I want to send them to to the Smithsonian like I want them encased in gold I I never these are so valuable to me.
00:41:41.000I mean, shit, when you don't have kids, you're proud of yourself if you walk the dog that day.
00:41:45.000When you have kids, you're only proud of yourself if your son gets, you know, in a great baseball team and you build him a go-kart the same day.
00:42:37.000I mean, the last two times you had sex, you were dancing to the music that was playing in that room more than you were actually in the moment.
00:42:45.000That's usually a sign that you've sowed your wild oats.
00:42:48.000So get a ring on it and start the next chapter.
00:42:50.000That's really what my book was about, The Death of Kool.
00:42:53.000Kool is a phase that dies and then post 25 you have get married and have kids.
00:43:25.000But eventually, at 25, you're going to stop dating comedians and musicians and start looking at someone who has a good relationship with their mother.
00:43:36.000You want a man, he can have a dumb career like being a DJ, but if he has to get up at 9am on a Monday and be working on it for him to be the father of your children.
00:43:45.000And then thirdly, as far as married people go, don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.