In this episode of Thick & Thin, Eric talks about his time at Fox News and why he doesn t wear makeup anymore. He also talks about how he almost didn t have to wear makeup at all. And he talks about why he thinks makeup is gay and why it s a good thing it s not. Eric also discusses his new book, Who Built That? and how he thinks about the history of glass and how it s changed the way we look at the world. And he tells a story about a woman who caught him wiping his ass with his makeup. He also explains why he s not a fan of makeup anymore and why you should be too. Eric's new book is Who built That ? by Michelle Malkin and it's a must-listen book that explains how glass got made and how glass can change the world, and how you can do the same with your glasses. Enjoy, Eric! Get Off My Lawn! Get On My Lawn, Get Off Your Lawn! with Eric Eddings! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Retweet this episode on Apple Podcasts and become a Friend of Eric's Podcasts! Thank you for listening to Eric s podcast! Eric s new book "Who Built That?" is out now! It s a must listen book about glass and glass, who built that glass? What's better than the glass that can make the world? What s better than glass and the glass you can make it better than it s better? Who made it? I ll tell you what glass can do better than you can t make it, can you do it better, right? Can you make it all that you can't have it better and more? Get on my lawn? Let me know what you think of it, and let me know your glass is better than that, and I'll tell me what you would like to make it so you can have it, right here on my podcast? Thanks, Eric s got it, I ll give me a shot of that s better, can t you can help me make it like that, right there? You ll get it, please do it, let me help me, right away! -- Thank you? -- -- and I ll send me a review of it. -- And I ll be in touch, bye, bye. -- And a shout out, bye!
Transcript
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00:04:05.000Now you just drop a bunch of bombs on the Middle East, you turn the entire- that entire part of the world to glass, and then just go and pick up shards, you know, and remelt it.
00:04:15.000But back then, they couldn't, I mean, the idea of shaping it and being able to see through it, very complex, as you can imagine.
00:04:23.000And to make like a bottle, there was about 15 people.
00:04:27.000And a lot of them were kids, because history sucks.
00:04:31.000And there was like, the turning boy, and the whistle boy, and the blow boy, that would suck to be called a blow boy.
00:04:39.000And eventually as they came up with innovations throughout time, and this is true of all industries, but as they came up with innovations throughout time, they'd say, we don't need blow boys anymore.
00:04:50.000So the head of the blow boys would blow up, because he's a blower, he'd blow up good.
00:04:57.000He'd blow up that entrepreneur's workshop, his studio.
00:05:02.000Um, because that guy was eradicating an entire profession.
00:05:06.000So people did not go softly into that good night.
00:05:09.000You think, you have this sort of bourgeois view of history where you go, every time there was an innovation, it was like the iPhone and everyone clapped and said, thank you, daddy.
00:05:48.000Sometimes, you know, at soccer matches and little league games, I'm with the moms so much that it looks weird, so I have to go over to the guys.
00:05:55.000But, um, I stopped goofing with the gals because the gals were putting tons of makeup on me.
00:06:44.000So, uh, I stopped doing it, and I looked- you could not- you- if you go through all my appearances, which I'm sure you will after this episode and spend eight hours doing it, but you can't tell when I don't have makeup on.
00:06:54.000In other words, their jobs are redundant.
00:06:55.000I'm kind of obsessed with redundant jobs, by the way.
00:06:59.000Like, on the train, when they come and punch my ticket.
00:08:01.000I'm not speaking to him anymore because he, he, uh, his magazine Reason
00:08:08.000Linked the Proud Boys to Charlottesville and said we were there and I said to Nick Gillespie and him if you guys don't fix this right now I'm never speaking to you again.
00:08:15.000They said slow down we have to verify and I said well fuck you bye.
00:09:01.000I'm at the studio doing The Independence, and I would do this dumb joke.
00:09:04.000There's some- I did a whole episode of this on, like, staple jokes that always do well.
00:09:08.000For some reason, this joke always does well.
00:09:10.000When I'm getting mic'd up, they put- it's kind of an uncomfortable thing, because they're putting a microphone up the bottom of your shirt, and it's very intimate, and they're about an inch from your face.
00:09:19.000So to break the ice, I'll often say, Oh my- whoa, whoa, that thing's freezing!
00:09:26.000Especially because I'm real dramatic and I scare the person I sort of do like a Kramer head bop and they go Jesus That's also funny by the way when you're getting makeup and you have your eyes closed and they're they're really close to your face and then you just break the sounds with like are you gonna be going to a
00:09:42.000Just, like, break into a loud conversation.
00:09:50.000If you're hiding in a closet, and you want to, and someone, you're in someone's house, and you want to scare the living shit out of them, don't just, when they open the door, go, boo.
00:09:57.000You gotta come bounding out of the closet, talking.
00:10:00.000Like, are we gonna be getting there on Thursday?
00:10:02.000And you can't walk towards them, because then they have no file in their brain for what the fuck is happening.
00:10:08.000Like one time I was sleeping in my bed in my apartment in Williamsburg, and at 4am there's a knock on my bedroom door!
00:10:18.000And it was one of the freakiest experiences of my life because there's no file for that.
00:10:23.000I'm going through my filing cabinet and I have knock on front door, I have criminal break in, but knocking on bedroom door, the file is empty.
00:11:27.000I mean, they get you there like three hours early.
00:11:30.000You do a show and the total time you talk, like I'm going to talk for 45 minutes, the total time you talk on a Fox News show is like three minutes.
00:11:40.000So it swallows six hours of your day for three minutes.
00:11:43.000And you go, can I be a contributor please and get a regular paycheck?
00:12:18.000In fact, she quit because she thought, I'm not a Fox News person.
00:12:22.000So she didn't really want the job, but she got it like that and Guy Benson is smart as shit.
00:12:27.000I'm not denying him that But it is he's kind of snobby and he sees me I got the vibe when I would see him I'd be telling dirty jokes and stuff and I got the vibe he has this like, oh lord, how base and This is my own bias, but don't you think that gays don't have the right to be snobs?
00:12:47.000I mean you can be snobs as far as I go to the best clubs, but as far as being like you hate people who are crude, you're gay.
00:12:56.000You have like 10 dicks in your face on a regular basis.
00:13:00.000My craziest sex act, which if I'm lucky I get once a year, that's your most boring sex act.
00:13:07.000That's like you if you're not in the mood.
00:13:10.000For me, that's like it's the 4th of July, I won the lottery, and I just had a facelift.
00:13:18.000That's why my wife would really want me if I just got a Mickey Rourke lip injections.
00:13:25.000So, and I have no problem with that, okay, you're a sexual decadent, but to sort of look down at us for swearing or, you know, drinking a beer in the green room?
00:14:40.000I don't really know what pries open the vagina.
00:14:44.000But I know, through goofing with the gals, that a common complaint is that his tools are too cold, and you have a freezing cold steel thing on your twat.
00:17:37.000So what Fox has to do, and this, the top brass there at the time was Roger Ailes, Bill Shine was head of programming, Suzanne Scott was the VP of programming.
00:17:47.000Since Roger's gone, and Bill's gone, I think Suzanne's at the top.
00:18:55.000I was complaining to a guy recently at Little League about how I feel like a freak at the beach because of my stupid tattoos, my giant back piece of a skull-headed jellyfish eating Chiang Kai-Shek and Fidel Castro.
00:19:07.000And I realize I'm talking to a man who has like an elephant trunk for an arm.
00:19:12.000He had some problem when he was, you know, when his mother was pregnant where the umbilical cord wrapped around the arm and the arm couldn't develop.
00:19:19.000So it's like an elephant trunk and then the other arm's normal.
00:19:21.000And he's like, you're telling me that you feel like a freak sometimes?
00:19:29.000So what they do is they move her to another floor and a floor I'm never gonna be on and they've got to do all this like shifting after the six months to get me in there because I'm good for ratings but they don't want to say that she felt unsafe and I don't think she got any money and that was that was you know a typical story and that's that's Fox News being good people by the way they're not they didn't have a choice I heard about this other guy you know Harris Faulkner the black chick I don't like her at all
00:19:55.000She, I think she tried to sue a toy company who had a little like, you know, stupid dolly thing, little beanie baby type thing that looked like her and they called it the Harris or the Faulkner.
00:20:09.000She tried to sue them because she wants the money.
00:20:27.000I heard there was some ex-military guy, probably, you know, watched his friend's face blow off in Iraq, and he really liked her as a friend.
00:20:36.000And being the gregarious type, he grabbed her and gave her a tight hug.
00:23:03.000I never thought of that before, and if you want to talk about quantifiable damage, social media and iPhones have done a lot of damage to our kids.
00:23:12.000I had to build a locked case in my house to keep their phones and all their crap.
00:23:18.000And by the way, I've been meaning to say this, it worked.
00:23:23.000There was a rocky week as the crackheads went through withdrawals.
00:23:26.000They were scratching their skin and grabbing me in the hallway and going, just one fix, man.
00:23:32.000I just gotta hold the iPad just for two seconds, man.
00:23:34.000Then they started doing a thing called a re-adding, which is where words are in a line and there's no pictures.
00:23:41.000And the words have phonetic sounds to them.
00:23:44.000And they put themselves together, a thing called a book.
00:24:07.000That giant stupid wrestler with his hat.
00:24:11.000When people wear their baseball hats backwards and they have a logo on their forehead, you look stupider than Charles Manson with his swastika.
00:24:19.000You're advertising new era on your face.
00:24:24.000And so I just thought, all right, so Tyrus is getting hired before me.
00:25:16.000A lot of left-wingers outside of Rachel Maddow, who's kicking ass with 3 million, a lot of these CNN shows are perfectly happy with 200,000.
00:25:23.0001.7 million is to kick ass and take names.
00:25:30.000Um, but I realized when I saw that, that was like the 13th affirmative action hire above my head, and it was yet another person with absolutely no substance.
00:25:40.000I remember watching when Cumia was on once, and Anthony Cumia said a very reasonable statement, which is, Al Sharpton is the worst person who's ever been in the White House.
00:25:49.000I think that's, I'd love to hear who's worse.
00:25:54.000And, you know, Tyrus is left wing, and he has to defend anyone black, including people who exploit blacks, like Al Sharpton.
00:26:03.000So he gets all grumpy and pissy with Anthony, and I just thought, ugh, I'm done with this entire network.
00:26:10.000But the reason I say it's like dumping a supermodel is because here, I've never told anyone this before, I did a weird, I did a weird Hail Mary move right when it was getting, it was eight years I was there, right when it was getting to the end.
00:28:29.000I think if it's not in the law books, which is an unwanted sexual touch, actually technically an unwanted touch is in the law books, but you're not gonna get a court case out of punch buggy red.
00:28:40.000But like grabbing a vagina or something like that, that's something that you call the cops for.
00:28:45.000You gotta handle the whole idea of suing or shaming or using innuendo like with Cale Hartman a comedian friend of mine who was just had his career destroyed by a rumor with no and he would have loved to go to court but with no evidence nothing just a rumor and that was the end of his career in comedy and he was kicking ass and taking names by the way I haven't spoken to him in a while I think he's an alcoholic now and the woman who accused him got all this attention and now she's working with on that HBO show
00:29:19.000So, Roger, like, all this, hey, Gretchen Carlson, for example, she got 20 million dollars because Roger said, you know, you would have been doing better if you'd slept with me.
00:29:30.000Do you know how many times we get that from homos here in the workforce?
00:29:33.000Do you know how many gays have said stuff like that to me?
00:29:35.000Do you know how long I spend in the shower with my arms wrapped around my knees crying?
00:29:54.000I think it's funny if they go, if a gay boss or even a gay client said to me, you know that the, this contract would be, um, you'd be making a lot more money if you'd let me blow you.
00:30:52.000But the crazy part about that story is, I've talked to some reliable people, and they go, there actually was some pretty shady shit going on.
00:31:02.000I was told that he would have women sit on his lap and do vocal exercises to test their diaphragms.
00:31:10.000So he would put his hands up their shirt, hold on to their bare skin and say, all right, now just me, me, me, me, me.
00:31:53.000I remember I told Lauren Savant that, and she goes, oh this, I don't know if I think Roger Ailes guilty, he seems like a good guy, I've met him a few times, and I go, well I told him what I just told you, and she goes, yeah, I did that, vocal exercises.
00:32:04.000And I go, wow, Lauren, you're the only woman I've ever met who was sexually molested and didn't know.
00:32:08.000I guess that's an argument for for my side, like sexual harassment is a thing.
00:32:15.000She went on to become a big part of the Me Too movement because Harvey Weinstein beat off into a plant at a restaurant in front of her and she couldn't get out of the kitchen.
00:32:56.000I'm sitting here at my desk ready to rock.
00:33:04.000So they shut down, I mean in many ways they shut down that whole network.
00:33:08.000I heard, here's some more gossip I heard.
00:33:13.000So there's some sort of deal in media in Britain, where when you sell a media company, there can be no contentious enterprises.
00:33:23.000So say, you know, CRTV owned some sort of gay porn site, and you want to sell to a British company, they go, no, no, no, no, you're not including the gay porn site, get rid of that and we can talk.
00:33:37.000Now contentious is obviously, um, uh, open to debate.
00:33:42.000So Sky News and Fox News, I believe, and again, I'm an idiot.
00:33:49.000So most of the time my rumors are correct.
00:33:51.000They're often not, but, uh, that's what gossip is, right?
00:35:25.000It's really Donald Trump and his kids.
00:35:27.000Donald Trump would go to his, you know, the projects with his dad to rent collect.
00:35:32.000And if you were, if you got the contract to make the projects in the Bronx, as Artie Lange points out, that was, you had to be a, basically a murderer.
00:35:40.000I mean, you're fighting with the mob, all of these corrupt politicians.
00:36:57.000And I think they'd like to attack Tucker and take him down because they want Fox News to be milquetoast so they can do this Sky News deal and sell the $16 billion.
00:37:40.000If those boobs are real, I want to move to Africa, change my name, become a Muslim, and start a new life so I don't have to think in English anymore because those tits would haunt my dreams.
00:37:56.000Is she on the cover of that book where she's bound?
00:38:34.000And he told me a story Bill Shine did about how a journalist or a, uh, whatever, a pundit on the news had talked about Hillary Clinton and went like a gagging thing.
00:39:04.000But, um... Let's not let that trivialize his incredible business acumen.
00:39:10.000I mean, if you had infinite power like that and you were controlling billions of dollars, might you have a nine sit on your lap and might you touch her torso?
00:39:21.000If you were ugly and had never been laid and had been a pariah sexually your whole life, like Robert Crumb, what did Robert Crumb do the second he got popular?
00:39:29.000He started jumping on women and biting their tits.
00:40:44.000So she went from groveling to $3 million, all because Gretchen Carlson's rich husband said, let's take these guys to the cleaners, and they did, for $20 million.
00:42:06.000Because they went to Indonesia and tasted some little shrimp cocktails, and then they went over to, like, the Congo, where people are eating babies' faces, and they went, you know, on a safari ride.
00:42:19.000And then they had a delicious pastry with, like, some cuckoo sauce.
00:42:25.000And then they went to some other hellhole, some other shithole country and just had the top 1%.
00:42:30.000So they end up with this very multicultural liberal view of society.
00:42:33.000They also like socialism because they've had nothing but free money and it worked out for them.
00:42:38.000So if you look at donors, you know, on Capitol Hill, you'll see the top ones tend to be Democrats.
00:42:45.000And so the news, which is run by rich people for the most part, tends to be left-wing.
00:43:15.000So these women were hired because they're hot.
00:43:18.000And then they ended up biting them in the ass, just like, you know, women on a pirate ship.
00:43:22.000Seems like a good idea at the beginning.
00:43:24.000And then the next thing you know, there's a mutiny on the bounty and the pirates are stabbing each other and getting, the captain gets thrown overboard.
00:43:31.000That's really what happened to Fox News.
00:43:33.000The pirates invited a woman on board, a pretty woman, because they were drunk and it did not pan out well.
00:43:40.000I'm sure I got a million other stories.
00:43:42.000Oh yeah, one brief thing I wanted to say before I go is,
00:43:51.000One, there's a thing called media relations.
00:43:53.000I did a Rebel video about this where it's these women who control HR and hiring and firing and they're evil and they are scared of any kind of controversy.
00:44:02.000So if Vanity Fair has one writer, like I think his name's J.D.
00:44:38.000But above that, which is called the second floor, those people understood that it's stressful being in media and they're making a lot of money off of these workaholics.
00:44:49.000And by the way, the irony with Fox News is they talk about family values all the time.
00:46:34.000I think he was boozing a lot, and he never went on red-eye drunk.
00:46:40.000But I think some people had it out for him, and they knew that he boozed off-air, so they decided to use that against him, and they said, go to rehab.
00:46:47.000He said no, and they said, well, sorry, we can't have you here.
00:46:49.000That's actually not a great example of how Fox is awesome.
00:46:52.000But the big picture is, I think the view there is that women get treated like shit, and they're sex objects, and it's an evil corporation, but they treat their employees very well.
00:47:36.000This is well documented in the Tower Records doc, All Things Must Pass, where you realize that massive successful corporation was successful because all the top brass had done the dirty work.
00:48:32.000Other great shows on there include Mark
00:48:35.000Mark Levin, like every time I want to talk about Syria or something, actually Syria's a bad example because I think he's pro-war there, but every time I want to talk about the Constitution or senators or... Mark Levin is so intelligent that I have trouble reading his books because they're too dense.
00:48:51.000Like I can't be tired if I'm gonna read Mark Levin.
00:48:54.000He's like Mark Stein or Buchanan in that sense.
00:49:25.000I mean it's a wonderful network that I don't understand why you need anything else.
00:49:31.000I should probably handle the humor because I'm not as smart as everyone there and I want to just do that.
00:49:36.000I want to do Kim Kardashian stuff and keep it light and why I hate life hacks but
00:49:41.000I have trouble being silent when I see things like, you know, Christians being slaughtered in northern Iraq and white farmers in South Africa having their children murdered in front of them, being boiled alive and all this stuff.
00:49:57.000And when I have Austin Peterson on, like I did yesterday, talking about
00:50:01.000We have to take the fight to the left and try to get our guns back instead of arguing about bump stocks and stupid little negotiations like that.
00:50:09.000But for the most part, I'm going to be the comic relief on the show.
00:50:12.000And then this podcast, I'm determined to keep politics out of it as much as possible.
00:50:16.000I know I got a little political with this episode.
00:50:19.000It is Fox News, but I want to keep this as light as possible because as Breitbart said, politics is downstream from culture.
00:50:28.000And Mariah Carey and Miley Cyrus are just as crucial to the American fabric as Bill C-16 about the Internal Tax Revenue Program and how that could be subjugated over the course of a three-year program.
00:50:46.000As Nick Gillespie, back when we were speaking, said, who was the Speaker of the House in 1930?