Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 24, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #44 | Picking up garbage has nothing to do with helping the environment


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

169.80843

Word Count

6,648

Sentence Count

561

Misogynist Sentences

19

Hate Speech Sentences

23


Summary

On this episode of the podcast, we talk about the dangers of littering and why it's not so bad for the environment. Plus, we take a look at the benefits of having a green lawn. Featuring music from Ian Dorsch and a special guest star of the show, Alex Blumberg. This episode was produced and edited by Kevin McLeod. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. The album art for the podcast was done by our super talented Ameya. It was mixed and produced by Matthew Boll. We are working on transcribing this episode and putting it on SoundCloud. If you like what you hear, please leave us a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll incorporate it into the next episode. Thank you so much for all the support and stay tuned for more episodes in the future. Kevin McElroy Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Please do not use this music on this episode unless otherwise specified. Credits: The theme song for this episode was written, performed, produced, and performed by Mark Phillips. by Zapsplat and the rest of the music used in the show was provided by Skynyrd. , and produced, edited, produced and mixed by Matt McElver, and the music was done, and edited, and provided by by the band, and by , and . thanks to , all rights reserved, in this episode is owned by our patrons & with permission. and our thanks to our patrons and is by our good friend, , our patrons, and all credit is , the good people at , thanks to the ) and ) for their support and , etc., and & our thank you, all of our sponsors, the good work, etc., etc. & all other good work done by them, by them , thank you to them, and all of their support is to them for making this episode, and their support, they are so much love, for all of your support is so much we really appreciate it, they really are amazing, thank you.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Picking up garbage has nothing to do with helping the environment.
00:00:04.000 It's just an aesthetic preference.
00:00:07.000 Garbage is not bad for the environment.
00:00:11.000 This seems to be a common misconception.
00:00:14.000 Like in Wall-E, the movie, the whole Earth is ruined by littering.
00:00:20.000 Littering is not bad for Mother Earth.
00:00:23.000 It's ugly.
00:00:24.000 I don't like seeing chip bags, but I also don't like seeing a banana peel on the road.
00:00:29.000 Banana peel's perfectly good.
00:00:31.000 No, the chip bag's worse, Kev, because it takes a long time to break down.
00:00:36.000 A hundred years.
00:00:38.000 Banana's gone in no time.
00:00:41.000 So?
00:00:42.000 The bag came from the ground.
00:00:43.000 The bag is an oil byproduct.
00:00:46.000 Where do you think bags come from?
00:00:47.000 Another planet?
00:00:48.000 No, but if it gets really bad, it can go into the water table.
00:00:53.000 Ooh, plastic might get into the water table.
00:00:58.000 That's bad because plastic's made of poison.
00:01:01.000 That's why when you lick a plastic bag, you die.
00:01:06.000 I remember I was upstate once and this guy, I think his name's Nathan Fox.
00:01:11.000 He's kind of a celebrity in this tiny town.
00:01:14.000 I had a place in Berryville, New York, and he wrote for the local newspaper and it was like,
00:01:19.000 The Nathan Reporter, the Foxhole, or something like that.
00:01:22.000 You know what I mean?
00:01:22.000 Those little... He was like the Michael... What's that, uh, Village Voice Reporter?
00:01:27.000 Michael Musto.
00:01:28.000 He was the Michael Musto of Berryville.
00:01:31.000 Anyway, he goes, So, are you gonna be, uh, participating in Earth Day?
00:01:34.000 He was, like, talking to people with his little notepad, table to table.
00:01:37.000 And I go, In what sense?
00:01:38.000 Well, we're gonna be picking up trash and stuff.
00:01:40.000 And I go, What's that got to do with environmentalism?
00:01:42.000 And he goes, well, it's littering.
00:01:44.000 I mean, and I go, how is that bad?
00:01:46.000 And then I said to him, and this is a good litmus test to people who don't get it.
00:01:52.000 If I was to take a canoe with a dryer, the kind of dryer you have in your home that dries your clothes.
00:01:59.000 If I was to get on a canoe with my dryer and boat out to the middle of the lake and then dump it and canoe back, have I hurt the environment?
00:02:10.000 And the answer is no.
00:02:13.000 Dude, that, if it's a nice big lake, you can do it 20, 30 times.
00:02:18.000 Totally fine.
00:02:19.000 Do you think pirate ships are bad for the environment?
00:02:21.000 Do you think the Titanic is bad for the environment?
00:02:23.000 No, it's just a fish house.
00:02:25.000 Now, I'm sure with a fridge, there's Freon and there's chemicals.
00:02:30.000 I'm sure there's like, uh, you know, if you were to, to throw out 50 gallons of polyurethane, that might be an issue that might get into the water.
00:02:38.000 So if you're going to do that on Earth Day,
00:02:40.000 Stop people from pouring polyurethane into the sewers?
00:02:43.000 Sure.
00:02:44.000 That's a thing.
00:02:46.000 But picking up trash makes you look retarded.
00:02:50.000 And I was taking my son to T-Ball on Saturday.
00:02:54.000 Now, I actually have footage of this, but it's not that much better than me just telling you about it.
00:02:59.000 Plus, I'm a storyteller by trade, so the pictures I paint in your mind are actually better than photographs.
00:03:06.000 In many, many ways.
00:03:07.000 In many ways!
00:03:09.000 So,
00:03:10.000 We go to this beautiful park.
00:03:12.000 Now, my taxes up here in the suburbs are one billion dollars a year.
00:03:17.000 The local police station is made of gold.
00:03:20.000 Every cop in my little village drives a Ferrari.
00:03:25.000 And you have a fire station stationed in front of every home.
00:03:30.000 The lawn care is free.
00:03:31.000 I mean, they have way more money than they know what to do with.
00:03:35.000 All jokes aside, I know a guy in my neighborhood.
00:03:38.000 His property and education tax is
00:03:41.000 $100,000.
00:03:43.000 He's got a very big house and then a big, uh, another house worth of lawn behind him.
00:03:48.000 And there aren't very big lawns in my suburb, so they punish him with $100,000 for property education tax.
00:03:57.000 That's twice the average American salary.
00:03:59.000 Anyway, so you can imagine when you go to the local park to bring your kid to T-Ball, it is immaculate.
00:04:04.000 And it is.
00:04:05.000 It looks like, um, it looks like a government lawn.
00:04:08.000 You'll notice government lawns are always the best.
00:04:11.000 Um, so it looks like the White House lawn.
00:04:14.000 I mean, it's amazing.
00:04:15.000 Every blade of grass is a perfect height and it is totally overstaffed.
00:04:20.000 There's about, I'd say a dozen guys work there full time with their fluorescent orange vests on and their green Dickies and their Timberlands.
00:04:29.000 And they each have a truck, big, beautiful new GMC truck.
00:04:35.000 That they drive around with the stickers on it.
00:04:37.000 I mean, it's just ridiculous.
00:04:38.000 It's, there's just way too much money there.
00:04:40.000 So the locals, the rich people, they decide, because it's Earth Day, they're going to help the environment.
00:04:46.000 And what does that mean?
00:04:48.000 They pick up non-existent garbage.
00:04:52.000 I mean, I'm not going to fault the guys working at the park.
00:04:56.000 There was a job offer and they took it and they're doing fine.
00:04:58.000 If I was the mayor, I would cut all those jobs completely.
00:05:01.000 Just leave, I bet, I bet you could just have volunteers handle the park.
00:05:05.000 But all these old-timers that are retired, that's the way it is in Port St.
00:05:08.000 Lucie.
00:05:09.000 When we went to see all those Mets games, there's white-haired labor, free labor is rampant.
00:05:15.000 And they're actually taking jobs from people who need money.
00:05:18.000 You go see a baseball game in Port St.
00:05:20.000 Lucie, everyone looks like Bob Barker.
00:05:24.000 It's all these white-haired dudes taking your money and mowing lawns for free.
00:05:29.000 Anyway, I'm sure that's good work at this park.
00:05:30.000 So these guys,
00:05:31.000 They're just staring at these rich people, and these rich people, they all get together and they got their cleaning up the environment Earth Day gear on.
00:05:38.000 So they got hiking boots, and their Lululemons, and they all have gloves on.
00:05:42.000 Super fancy gloves for picking up garbage.
00:05:45.000 You think there's gonna be any syringes?
00:05:47.000 Go to Manhattan!
00:05:48.000 You want to clean up a park?
00:05:50.000 Get some needle-proof gloves and go clean- They probably look like Mickey Mouse hands.
00:05:56.000 That's the gloves cops use when they're dealing with junkies.
00:05:59.000 They look like Mickey Mouse gloves.
00:06:00.000 They're so thick with rubber.
00:06:03.000 We'll get some of those on.
00:06:04.000 That, by the way, doesn't help the environment either.
00:06:08.000 Picking up syringes in a park has nothing to do with environmentalism.
00:06:12.000 It's just better for humans because they're not stepping on AIDS.
00:06:16.000 So, I can't resist staring at these people and taking pictures.
00:06:23.000 The pictures, by the way, are just tons of guys in fluorescent orange vests driving around in trucks, staring at these rich people, scratching their heads.
00:06:30.000 And the rich people, this is what they did.
00:06:31.000 So they had, I would say, 20 boxes of contractor bags.
00:06:36.000 They probably got a budget that was like five grand.
00:06:39.000 They said, well, we better spend it.
00:06:40.000 So they bought box upon box of contractor bags.
00:06:44.000 You could clean up Katrina with that many contractor bags.
00:06:48.000 I bet if I blew up my house,
00:06:51.000 You could pick up the rubble and it would fit in that many contractor bags.
00:06:55.000 What are they?
00:06:56.000 And that was just the tip of the iceberg.
00:06:58.000 They also had a bunch of clear bags, which I guess is used for recycling.
00:07:02.000 So, for just detritus, like a blown-up car, we'll use the contractor bags.
00:07:07.000 But if you see plastic, put it in the clear bag and we'll take that to the recycling plant.
00:07:12.000 I mean... And then, they also had big industrial paper bags that are for leaves and stuff.
00:07:20.000 And they had about 10 rakes from Home Depot.
00:07:24.000 Best quality rakes, wood, big wide spread on them, steel.
00:07:30.000 Whatever that part of the rake is called.
00:07:32.000 Imagine you were so into rakes, you knew that what the bottom part is called.
00:07:37.000 I'm going to look that up right now.
00:07:38.000 Parts of the rake.
00:07:40.000 Oh, here we go.
00:07:42.000 So that part, those are called tines.
00:07:45.000 T-I-N-E-S.
00:07:47.000 So, wood handle, steel head, steel tines.
00:07:53.000 I'm really into tines.
00:07:55.000 Hey, nice rake.
00:07:56.000 Can I check out your tines?
00:07:58.000 Oh, wow, those are 54 centimeters in diameter.
00:08:02.000 And about, what, 30.5 centimeters long?
00:08:04.000 Those are, you know, I've been using plastic tines for a while.
00:08:08.000 My dad works in tines.
00:08:13.000 So they have all those stupid rakes.
00:08:15.000 And then I see some Goomba doing a speech and he's like, thanks everyone for coming out.
00:08:20.000 It's weird here in the suburbs because they still have New York accents, even though they're rich.
00:08:25.000 So they're like, thanks everyone for coming out.
00:08:27.000 You know, we have people who have been helping the environment here in this park for decades.
00:08:33.000 Okay.
00:08:35.000 I want to thank them for coming.
00:08:36.000 I also want to thank the young people.
00:08:38.000 I want to thank the youngsters for coming out today.
00:08:40.000 And I'm just, I feel like walking up to him and going, why?
00:08:45.000 Why are you here?
00:08:46.000 Why are you thanking them?
00:08:48.000 For what?
00:08:50.000 So then, it gets more ridiculous.
00:08:52.000 Alright guys, let's go!
00:08:54.000 And about 30 people spread out across this park, which is huge.
00:09:00.000 And it's on a harbor, too.
00:09:01.000 I'm on the water here.
00:09:02.000 So, there's yachts surrounding them.
00:09:05.000 $200,000, $300,000 boats.
00:09:06.000 Where to fill the gas tank costs $2,500.
00:09:15.000 I'm just learning this recently.
00:09:17.000 Did you know that?
00:09:18.000 Say you see a boat where there's like a place down below where you could sleep and it's the smallest a boat could be with that option.
00:09:26.000 So like the biggest, the smallest big boat.
00:09:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:09:30.000 Where there's like a little stove down there where you could maybe make a coffee.
00:09:34.000 To fill that one is $700.
00:09:35.000 $700?
00:09:35.000 I'm cheap.
00:09:36.000 I couldn't imagine just watching the numbers as I'm filling the tank just going zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
00:09:45.000 We've only begun.
00:09:45.000 100.
00:09:46.000 You're full!
00:09:49.000 And then I go, well, so what does that last for, like 10 years?
00:09:52.000 No, no, couple trips, and you gotta fill it up again.
00:09:54.000 Anyway, so that's the kind of money that's going on in this park, and 30 people are going through it, where at least a dozen employees have been picking up garbage professionally forever, and there's no garbage anywhere.
00:10:09.000 And I just saw this one fat, spoiled brat.
00:10:13.000 She was maybe 21, an ass way too big for her body.
00:10:17.000 Of course she's wearing yoga pants, so I can see her labia.
00:10:21.000 Ladies, I'm a pervert, but I'm even getting a little tired of seeing you naked with just different colored legs.
00:10:28.000 Like it's- there's nothing not nude about you except the color.
00:10:32.000 I can see your labia.
00:10:33.000 I can see your butt crack.
00:10:35.000 I can see every contour.
00:10:36.000 The only thing I can't see are cellulite and zits.
00:10:40.000 In other words, the things I don't want to see.
00:10:42.000 So you're just presenting me your nude legs at their best.
00:10:46.000 Doing their best life.
00:10:48.000 So she's got her stupid lululemons on.
00:10:50.000 I can see her buttcheeks.
00:10:51.000 They're too big.
00:10:53.000 Uh, she's a fat pig because she eats fried chicken and watches- binge watches Netflix.
00:10:58.000 And she's got her $600 hairdo.
00:11:01.000 And her little- they all wear these quilted jackets here in the burbs.
00:11:04.000 And she's got her gloves on.
00:11:05.000 And you can tell just by looking at her.
00:11:09.000 I'm allergic to lazy fat pigs.
00:11:12.000 You can tell by looking at her that she's never worked a day in her life.
00:11:14.000 She's never, never had a job.
00:11:16.000 She tried field hockey for a while, it was too tiring, and she just talks on the phone, and that's what she was doing as she picked up.
00:11:22.000 She had these headphones on, and she was talking to her friend, and she was picking up twigs.
00:11:30.000 She had a faggot in her hand.
00:11:32.000 She had a bundle of sticks in her hand.
00:11:34.000 I'm gonna say she had about ten.
00:11:36.000 You know what?
00:11:54.000 Does that not sum up the environmental movement in America in the West?
00:11:58.000 Hey greenies, guess what?
00:11:59.000 Say hypothetically the earth is being damaged by us.
00:12:25.000 Then, your number one problem is overpopulation.
00:12:29.000 You want less humans.
00:12:31.000 You should be pro-choice.
00:12:32.000 You should love plant parenthood.
00:12:34.000 You should be giving out condoms all over the hood where birth rates are the highest.
00:12:41.000 And here's another inconvenient truth, Gore.
00:12:46.000 Immigration is the number one cause of overpopulation.
00:12:49.000 So not only should you be pushing abortion as much as possible, you should also be screaming, build a wall, build a wall.
00:12:56.000 If you look at our immigration rates, I talked about this on the show, 100% of it is immigration.
00:13:02.000 If there was zero immigrants, the ones that are here tend not to have more than two kids.
00:13:07.000 So we've been pretty much stationary for the past 30 years.
00:13:11.000 It's the immigrants that are having tons of babies.
00:13:14.000 And as an environmentalist, that should be a problem with you.
00:13:18.000 This happened actually with the Sierra Club.
00:13:20.000 The Sierra Club discovered that, as all environmentalists eventually do, and they said, um, this is awkward, we're anti-immigration.
00:13:30.000 And then their donors,
00:13:32.000 I think one of their main donors was Jewish, and he said, um, if you, I will only continue to donate to this organization if you never discuss immigration and never criticize it.
00:13:46.000 And so the Sierra Club said, half of them said, fuck that, that's ridiculous, and the other half said, done, deal.
00:13:53.000 So now there's two Sierra Clubs.
00:13:55.000 There's the one that faces the facts on immigration, and there's the one that faces the checkbook on immigration.
00:14:02.000 So, the real true movement in America is complete virtue signaling.
00:14:10.000 It's all for show.
00:14:11.000 It has nothing to do with the truth.
00:14:14.000 And you know a great example of that, of course, is Canada.
00:14:17.000 They're responsible for 1.5% of the world's carbon emissions.
00:14:20.000 In other words, totally irrelevant.
00:14:24.000 But, um,
00:14:27.000 They sit and kvetch and they go to these global summits and talk about all the things they can do to stop this 1.5%.
00:14:34.000 Meanwhile, China farts on a Thursday and it totally eradicates anything Canada could ever do to get its 1.5 down to what?
00:14:41.000 1.3?
00:14:41.000 Oooh, thanks Canada!
00:14:42.000 So!
00:14:48.000 The big picture here is, and this relates to this fatty with her faggot in her hand, the big picture here is environmentalists are liars.
00:14:58.000 When you see someone who says they care about the environment, it's a lie.
00:15:01.000 When you see recycling in a bin outside, it's a lie.
00:15:06.000 It's all bullshit.
00:15:08.000 You know, my buddy lives in the country up in Canada near Perth.
00:15:12.000 And, uh, his wife's a teacher, and they separate all the cans and the plastics, and then they, all the kids get together, classroom by classroom, they go and they put it in big dumpsters out back.
00:15:22.000 And it costs money to get picked up.
00:15:24.000 They're in the middle of nowhere.
00:15:25.000 And then this farmer who's got a big hole in his property goes, you know what?
00:15:28.000 I'll come pick it up for a hundred bucks.
00:15:30.000 I'll bring you the dumpster, fill it up with whatever you want, I'll dump it in my hole for a hundred bucks, and of course he dumps it all together, plastics and garbage and anything you want.
00:15:37.000 You can have a nuclear bomb in there and I'll throw it in the hole.
00:15:42.000 And so the school wants to save money, so they go, fine, yeah, let's just go with that guy.
00:15:47.000 Let's separate all the cans, do all the environmental stuff, and then it'll all just be thrown together in his hole.
00:15:53.000 And my buddy says to his teacher wife, Sandy, I changed her name, Sandy, you have to tell the kids that!
00:16:02.000 You're an educator!
00:16:03.000 This is a lesson in economics, a lesson about the frivolity of environmentalism.
00:16:09.000 And he's a big environmentalist, by the way.
00:16:11.000 Um, in a real sense.
00:16:13.000 I mean, the guy's planted probably a million trees.
00:16:15.000 He ran a tree planting company.
00:16:16.000 That's how I knew him, he was my old boss.
00:16:20.000 And he says, there's a lesson here!
00:16:22.000 You're a teacher and you're lying to children!
00:16:24.000 And she goes, no, I think it's good that they still separate all this stuff.
00:16:28.000 I think it's important, you know?
00:16:30.000 I think it helps.
00:16:34.000 So, the teachers are teaching the children lies about the environment.
00:16:39.000 Isn't it redonkulous?
00:16:41.000 Anyway, I didn't really want to talk about that on my show.
00:16:43.000 I wanted to talk about my weekend, because it was action-packed.
00:16:48.000 I did that in the morning, um, and played t-ball with Johnny.
00:16:53.000 He's such a, he's such a contrarian.
00:16:55.000 I go, Johnny, secret to t-ball is don't think.
00:16:58.000 You hit that ball, you just go, go, go.
00:16:59.000 And he goes, no!
00:17:01.000 T-ball, with t-ball you have to think.
00:17:04.000 The other day he came into my bedroom and he goes, and forgive me if I've told you this, but every time I think about it, it makes me laugh.
00:17:11.000 He comes in, he comes in at all hours, by the way.
00:17:13.000 We were skiing once.
00:17:15.000 He wakes my wife up at four in the morning and goes, mom, mom, mom.
00:17:21.000 And then she goes, what?
00:17:22.000 Yeah.
00:17:23.000 He goes, can I have a parrot?
00:17:26.000 And she goes, yes.
00:17:27.000 And then he walks away and he pumps his fist and goes, yes, I've got a parrot.
00:17:33.000 So this, the other morning, the T-ball morning actually, he wakes me up and he goes, I think I have wet balls.
00:17:40.000 And he stops himself because he didn't enunciate.
00:17:43.000 And he goes, uh, wet balls.
00:17:48.000 And then he says, is pee cold?
00:17:50.000 And I think what happened was he went pee in the morning with his PJs on and then he put it back in the PJs too soon.
00:17:56.000 And he got a bunch of drops on the front of his PJs that became cold and also made his balls wet.
00:18:04.000 Hearing a five-year-old correct wehballs and say wet balls is... It doesn't get better than that.
00:18:13.000 Like, if I'm hungover or in a bad mood, I just think of wehballs.
00:18:17.000 Wet balls.
00:18:18.000 And I laugh my head off.
00:18:20.000 And previous to that, the thing that would keep me laughing was the fist pump to free parrot.
00:18:25.000 And we're not getting a parrot, by the way.
00:18:26.000 No fucking way.
00:18:29.000 So then, uh, it's record store day.
00:18:33.000 And we go down to a record store in Port Chester, here in the burbs, called Clockwork Records.
00:18:40.000 It's an old cop named Mike, who was a detective, but he was a punk in the CBGB days, and we know all the same guys.
00:18:48.000 And so I have a beer with him in the back room, spent a bunch of money, and I, speaking of bullshit detectors, I just go, Mike, what is Record Store Day?
00:18:58.000 And he goes, it's a fucking nightmare!
00:18:59.000 It's bullshit!
00:19:01.000 So supposedly you're supposed to get records cheaper than normal And you get to use the hashtag record store day and more people come to your store But and then you're not allowed to sell them on the online.
00:19:14.000 You got to keep them in your store He goes I blew seven grand on this shit And I'm stuck with him, and I don't know what people are gonna like.
00:19:23.000 I bought a bunch of Jimmy Page records No one wants Jimmy Page.
00:19:26.000 No one knows who the fuck he is
00:19:29.000 And I thought, yeah, it's a lie.
00:19:32.000 It's like South by Southwest.
00:19:34.000 You know how many bands have been signed at South by Southwest?
00:19:37.000 One.
00:19:38.000 Timbuk2.
00:19:40.000 Or Timbuk3, actually.
00:19:41.000 The band who did that, The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades.
00:19:44.000 Only band.
00:19:45.000 It's all bullshit.
00:19:46.000 It doesn't help your career to play at South by Southwest.
00:19:48.000 But everyone goes, because it seems like that's what you do.
00:19:53.000 So National Record Store Day, and I went down, it was more to show support for him, but it's just a fake day where they pretend they're providing you with free advertising and helping your store, but it's just a made-up day.
00:20:07.000 And there's, as my dad always said, there's a lot of money in lies.
00:20:11.000 Bullshit beats brains, my boy!
00:20:14.000 That's what he always used to say to me.
00:20:16.000 He also used to say, don't take any wooden nickels.
00:20:19.000 That was every day before school.
00:20:21.000 He'd say that to me on the way to school.
00:20:23.000 He taught me to be obsessed with calling people out on bullshit.
00:20:26.000 But he also taught me that bullshit pays.
00:20:29.000 Like that, uh, yoga.
00:20:32.000 What's it called?
00:20:32.000 Pomonis?
00:20:34.000 Pomont?
00:20:35.000 There's a kind of yoga you do.
00:20:38.000 Um, it starts with the letter P. And my buddy's mom copyrighted it.
00:20:42.000 I guess she invented it?
00:20:44.000 And so if you want Pilates, if you want to do Pilates, you need a certificate from her.
00:20:51.000 And then you pay her a commission, I guess, for her brilliant type of yoga that she invented.
00:20:56.000 They are so fucking loaded from that scam.
00:21:00.000 It's mental.
00:21:01.000 They own buildings in New York City, in Soho.
00:21:06.000 She bought her kid a record label, Defcon.
00:21:09.000 I used to work there.
00:21:11.000 Amazing.
00:21:13.000 Amazing what you can get away with.
00:21:14.000 And by the way, this whole idea of forcing people to pay licenses is an immoral racket.
00:21:22.000 My barber has to have a barber's license in case what?
00:21:25.000 He gives me a shitty hairdo?
00:21:27.000 A lot of states, I don't think this is true in New York, but a lot of states require florists to have a flower arranging license.
00:21:37.000 It's making people poor.
00:21:38.000 It's preventing people from getting off their asses and making a living.
00:21:43.000 It's adding too many barriers to entrepreneurs.
00:21:46.000 You know how you used to run a taxi in DC in the 50s and 60s?
00:21:50.000 You painted your car yellow and wrote TAXI on the side.
00:21:53.000 Boom.
00:21:53.000 Done.
00:21:55.000 Now a medallion is a million dollars.
00:21:58.000 A million!
00:22:00.000 And so Uber came along and said, sorry, free market exists.
00:22:02.000 And now those medallions, I think they went down to like 40 grand or even 10 grand.
00:22:09.000 Everything bad about the world is people meddling.
00:22:12.000 Socialism.
00:22:14.000 God wanted us to be free.
00:22:15.000 Anyway, go have a beer, hear about the old days, be in a cap, and then
00:22:23.000 I got some cool records too, Streets remixes.
00:22:28.000 Mike Skinner's coming back with the Streets doing a reunion tour, BT dubs.
00:22:32.000 And then a buddy of mine rented a boat, cruised, and this gives me a boner by the way, a boner.
00:22:41.000 He dropped 10 grand on a boat and then charged people $100 a ticket and prayed that people showed up.
00:22:49.000 If they decided that it was uncool or there was a Super Bowl that day or something, he would have been out 10 G's.
00:22:55.000 Isn't that ballsy?
00:22:58.000 So of course it was sold out, and it was awesome, and it was packed, and it was all proud boys.
00:23:05.000 And Antifa couldn't cancel it because it's a boat.
00:23:08.000 You can't, you can't shut down, you can't harass the owners when the boat's out at sea, out at East River.
00:23:13.000 Which is kind of at sea.
00:23:16.000 And Milo showed up, Milo Yiannopoulos, and we drove around the Statue of Liberty, and he took a picture of himself.
00:23:22.000 He said, look at this.
00:23:23.000 He took a picture of himself with the Statue of Liberty and said, look at this regal, beautiful, powerful, and then, of course, there's a statue.
00:23:32.000 So he did a good speech.
00:23:34.000 He mentioned the pedophilia thing, which I don't think people should do.
00:23:38.000 You know, when you say like, uh, when you defend yourself too much, you say, look, I know you've heard about this thing and let me tell you, it's not what you heard.
00:23:44.000 And now you just brought, you gave free advertising to the thing.
00:23:48.000 Don't do that.
00:23:51.000 No one cares.
00:23:52.000 And by the way, if you're not caught up, he said that he had a sexual relationship when he was 14 and that was perfectly normal with an older man.
00:24:01.000 And it's different for gays.
00:24:02.000 I believe he said it's different for gays and straights.
00:24:05.000 I do think that gays have less chastity.
00:24:09.000 I think that if a 14 year old girl is fucked by her male teacher, that male teacher is going to get beaten within an inch of his life.
00:24:17.000 If a teacher fucks a hot 20 year old teacher fucks a 14 year old boy, I don't think we should beat the shit out of the woman.
00:24:25.000 I don't think she should go to jail.
00:24:25.000 I don't think it should be the same kind of jail time.
00:24:27.000 I'm not saying you should fuck 14 year olds, obviously.
00:24:31.000 But boys are different than girls.
00:24:32.000 Did you know the age of consent in Mexico is 12?
00:24:38.000 Different culture, different people than us.
00:24:41.000 So we go on the boat cruise and there's two major fights.
00:24:45.000 That goes on.
00:24:46.000 That go on.
00:24:48.000 It's sort of like Nazi skinheads.
00:24:49.000 They're just violent people.
00:24:51.000 And if Nazi skinheads could be at an event, and they're all, they all agree with each other, but there's going to be a fight just because that's who they are.
00:24:58.000 It's part of their vocabulary.
00:25:00.000 And similarly it are, and no I'm not saying we're Nazis, but it are things, there's always fights.
00:25:06.000 Because it's part of our vocabulary.
00:25:08.000 So this one tall dude was talking trash.
00:25:12.000 Now I'm gossiping.
00:25:13.000 Was talking trash about Based Stickman.
00:25:15.000 You know Kyle Chapman?
00:25:16.000 So he showed up at an Antifa thing, and he was one of the first to say, let's fight back!
00:25:21.000 So he brought a stick and he started beating them.
00:25:23.000 He, by the way, is looking at nine years in prison.
00:25:26.000 Because they've decided that because he wrapped tape around the bottom of the stick, it was a billy club.
00:25:34.000 And that's a weapon so he caused it's a felony caused major damage.
00:25:38.000 It's it's a complete witch hunt like this guy Kyle Chapman also got charged recently because he had a keychain that had like a little sort of a dummy plastic thing for fighting because the guy gets attacked constantly Antifa
00:25:53.000 Pepper sprayed him in his car and then started vandalizing his car while holding the doors shut.
00:25:58.000 A mob of them destroyed his car with him in it.
00:26:01.000 They were trying to pepper spray him too, while he was in the car.
00:26:05.000 I mean, being pepper sprayed sucks, trust me.
00:26:08.000 But being pepper sprayed in a car?
00:26:10.000 That must be like, hell.
00:26:15.000 Oh, I think I'm getting a herpes outbreak on my lip.
00:26:17.000 God damn it.
00:26:18.000 I just had one.
00:26:20.000 I think it's all this drinking.
00:26:21.000 The hangover is a form of stress and it's giving me herpes.
00:26:27.000 Anyway, he was driving around in his truck and they had a Trump, big huge Trump flag and a big huge America flag coming up from the back of his trunk.
00:26:38.000 And as he's driving around, it's in this hippie-dippie park, and they call the cops.
00:26:44.000 They go, there's a man driving around with a racist flag!
00:26:47.000 It's called America and the President!
00:26:50.000 And then he pulls up on a sand dune to take a picture of himself.
00:26:54.000 He gets charged with riding the sand dunes illegally, even though he just parked on them.
00:27:00.000 And then they find that little plastic weapon on his keychain, which he didn't even know was illegal, and they bust him for having an illegal weapon.
00:27:06.000 And that's added to the Billy Club charges.
00:27:09.000 He's also got some other charge where he got in a fight at a bar, and, uh, I think he threw a stool at this guy who was attacking him.
00:27:18.000 He's Mr. Self-Defense.
00:27:19.000 I've hung out with him a hundred times.
00:27:20.000 But, there's a lot of bad propaganda about him, and even some of our guys have been criticizing him.
00:27:28.000 And so,
00:27:30.000 There's a minor sort of a split where maybe 3% of our guys don't have stickman's back, and that makes the other 97% really mad.
00:27:40.000 So this guy in the lineup is talking trash, and the other guy, Steve, is saying, go ahead, go ahead.
00:27:47.000 And he goes, I let him go for 40 minutes, and then I had to take him down.
00:27:51.000 So he punched his face in.
00:27:53.000 He was bleeding everywhere.
00:27:55.000 Another weird thing that has happened to him, I've never seen this before, his eyes were crying, but he wasn't crying.
00:28:02.000 So he's blowing snot rockets, blowing the blood out.
00:28:05.000 He's got that, you know, you have that red stuff on your face from the fist.
00:28:08.000 They both have those red patches.
00:28:09.000 And then tears are coming out of his eyes as he talks like I'm talking to you right now.
00:28:13.000 Hello, I'm not crying.
00:28:15.000 My eyes are crying.
00:28:15.000 And there was tears like popping out of his eyes.
00:28:18.000 They weren't even going down by the nose.
00:28:20.000 They were coming out of the middle and pouring down like that black football player meme where the guy's crying the national anthem and the tears are leaping out of his eyeballs.
00:28:29.000 So,
00:28:30.000 If he was my enemy, I still wouldn't say, ha ha, you're crying.
00:28:33.000 But I would say, sir, your eyeballs are crying.
00:28:37.000 So that was one brawl.
00:28:39.000 And then at the end of the night, I left, and they all went to a bar.
00:28:43.000 And then there's this dude, Tiny, who's a giant.
00:28:47.000 And this guy comes up to me and goes, I heard you left the Seattle chapter.
00:28:50.000 Because you thought it was stupid.
00:28:52.000 And then you thought you could come back.
00:28:54.000 And he goes, yeah, that's exactly what happened.
00:28:56.000 I didn't like the way the guys were behaving.
00:28:57.000 I thought they were being pussies.
00:28:58.000 And I left.
00:28:59.000 And then I missed them.
00:28:59.000 And then I joined.
00:29:00.000 And he goes, this is a brotherhood.
00:29:02.000 You can't just leave.
00:29:05.000 And people are going, why are you going up to a giant and nitpicking?
00:29:10.000 Hey, giant person.
00:29:12.000 I don't like that thing you did last year.
00:29:14.000 So that's what he does.
00:29:15.000 And Tiny goes, well, do you want to go outside?
00:29:17.000 And he goes, yes, I do.
00:29:19.000 And so they go outside, and Tiny destroys him, obviously.
00:29:22.000 He had two baby vaginas for eyes, just like sealed shut.
00:29:30.000 And I think Tiny broke his nose.
00:29:33.000 And then he said, all right, well, you made your point.
00:29:35.000 You win this argument.
00:29:37.000 And then they were best friends and had drinks.
00:29:39.000 This is just, this whole podcast so far is just Saturday.
00:29:47.000 Then I go to bed.
00:29:49.000 And then it's baseball all day.
00:29:51.000 Go to the baseball games.
00:29:52.000 I got some cop dads there, which is always fun.
00:29:56.000 There's a weird sort of classism going on with the baseball dads, I've noticed.
00:30:00.000 And I think that the elites... We're in an area that's near a poor area, so half the kids are rich kids, the other half are poor kids.
00:30:08.000 So the poor kids have poor parents, and a lot of those are cops.
00:30:11.000 Um, although they're about to be very rich when they retire and get their $100,000 pension.
00:30:16.000 But I feel like the rich parents don't like us.
00:30:18.000 Tattooed, poor- Meanwhile, I'm richer than all of them.
00:30:23.000 But, uh, I hang out with the bad boy dads, and we joke around.
00:30:28.000 And that's fun.
00:30:29.000 And then, uh, uh, Sunday night,
00:30:33.000 I gotta go into the city to meet my cousin, and I haven't seen my cousin since I was 18.
00:30:37.000 He's a cop in England, and I had to say, dude, he's Scottish, but he's in England.
00:30:41.000 I said, dude, what is going on over there?
00:30:44.000 They're confiscating garden tools?
00:30:47.000 I mean, I went to meet Tommy Robinson, and 12 police followed him to the pub, and pulled him over before he got there, and questioned him on where he was going.
00:30:57.000 They will throw you in jail for a tweet, yet child rape gangs are okay?
00:31:03.000 What's going on with that?
00:31:06.000 And he said, it's fear of political correctness, basically.
00:31:09.000 But here's what you need to know, pal.
00:31:11.000 He goes, the police who pulled over Tommy were likely not happy about that.
00:31:15.000 This is their boss.
00:31:17.000 And that goes back to what I've always said.
00:31:19.000 Fuck the police.
00:31:21.000 This is his boss.
00:31:24.000 Even anarchists, like Michael Malice and a lot of my anarchist buddies, they hate the cops so much.
00:31:30.000 And I go, hating a cop
00:31:33.000 is like hating a soldier for being in Afghanistan.
00:31:36.000 Do you think that soldier sat there with a map going, you know what?
00:31:41.000 I'd like to win hearts and minds in the Middle East.
00:31:43.000 Can you send me there?
00:31:44.000 Sure!
00:31:45.000 This is the Peace Corps after all, and you can just volunteer where you're gonna go.
00:31:49.000 It's not up to them.
00:31:50.000 These guys are just doing their job, and their job sucks!
00:31:56.000 I was listening to a story the other day where he knew this guy, he's like 6'4 and 300 pounds, not really fat, just a monster.
00:32:05.000 And he was fighting a guy who looked similar.
00:32:08.000 Same height, same weight.
00:32:10.000 And he could tell that this guy was going to drag out this fight and cops fight!
00:32:15.000 That's another thing.
00:32:16.000 People assume cops just shoot you when you're acting crazy.
00:32:18.000 A lot of them will just have to brawl for whatever reason.
00:32:21.000 They can't get their taser out or
00:32:22.000 It's too close quarters or, you know, there's people everywhere that would get hit with a bullet.
00:32:27.000 So they have to fight.
00:32:29.000 Fighting on a daily basis.
00:32:31.000 It's not... And I don't think they mind.
00:32:33.000 Like, the way... I think they see fighting as kind of a pain, but you gotta do it.
00:32:37.000 Like, the way suburbanites see jogging.
00:32:40.000 Oh, fuck.
00:32:40.000 I gotta go before I run today.
00:32:42.000 So they're in this fight and he says, he goes, Oh, I knew that it was going to be long and we had to end this.
00:32:50.000 So I just wrapped my arms around him.
00:32:51.000 We're at the top of the stairs and I just jumped down the stairs.
00:32:57.000 So they go flying down a flight of stairs.
00:33:00.000 These two 300 pound men, they go careening down the stairs and he made sure the perps body was the one that hit first, but they're both knocked unconscious.
00:33:12.000 See, and he knew he was doing it!
00:33:15.000 So he consciously knocked himself out to fast forward to the end of the fight and the other guy was just destroyed and they had to take him to the hospital and, you know, this cop hasn't been the same since.
00:33:26.000 He didn't file a complaint though, so he can't get that bad back pension.
00:33:32.000 But that's just a normal day.
00:33:33.000 I mean, this guy has so many stories that he- I just say stop when I'm done.
00:33:37.000 It's like a book on tape.
00:33:39.000 You just put it in, press play, hear the most amazing stories you've ever heard, and then you stop when you've had enough.
00:33:44.000 Okay, that's enough stories, please, cop.
00:33:48.000 But, uh, so I meet my, uh, my other cop, uh, cousin.
00:33:53.000 And, uh, the cop stuff was always interesting, but I haven't seen him in 20 years.
00:34:00.000 This was disturbing.
00:34:01.000 First of all, we look exactly the same, but he's bald and he's 10 years older than me.
00:34:07.000 He's obsessed with mod culture.
00:34:10.000 I'm wearing a Gucci belt buckle.
00:34:12.000 He's wearing a Vespa belt buckle.
00:34:14.000 He has a Fred Perry with a plaid collar.
00:34:19.000 I'm wearing a Brutus skinhead shirt.
00:34:24.000 I got it at a store in Camden in London called Modrophenia.
00:34:29.000 Guess where he got his shirt?
00:34:32.000 Ah, Modrophenia.
00:34:34.000 I'm also wearing a Vivian Westwood cricket jacket.
00:34:37.000 He's got the same jacket.
00:34:39.000 We're both like dicks.
00:34:44.000 I'm avoiding the word tough guy because I'm not a tough guy, but that's, you know, what I mean, like a confrontational guy.
00:34:49.000 He's much braver than I am, obviously, but we're both sort of that aggro dude.
00:34:54.000 Yeah, that's a better term for it.
00:34:56.000 Aggro.
00:34:56.000 We're both aggro dudes.
00:34:57.000 Who are faggy about fashion and have a predilection for mod fashion.
00:35:03.000 I mean, what are the odds?
00:35:05.000 We both try to avoid spirits because we've noticed that when we, with his case it's whiskey, with me it's bourbon, we can't handle our liquor.
00:35:16.000 So we both try to stick to beer.
00:35:19.000 It's all genetic traits.
00:35:21.000 We're both totally devoted to our wives.
00:35:23.000 Would never think of divorce.
00:35:26.000 We both fawn over our children.
00:35:29.000 He's a cop.
00:35:30.000 I'm obsessed with cop culture.
00:35:32.000 We kept saying, like, the similarities are bizarre.
00:35:37.000 And here's the other part that was weird.
00:35:39.000 I just felt genetically comfortable.
00:35:43.000 You know how when you're with your friends or something, you're never 100% relaxed?
00:35:48.000 Like you're having a good time and everything, but I don't know, it's hard to explain.
00:35:52.000 Like if you pooed your pants, for example, like say you had a wet fart, you might not tell them.
00:35:58.000 The conditions might not be perfect for you to say, oh my god, I just shit my pants.
00:36:01.000 It might be too embarrassing.
00:36:02.000 But I felt like with him, I would go...
00:36:05.000 Angus, you're not going to believe this.
00:36:06.000 I just shit my pants.
00:36:08.000 And he would say, you're kidding me.
00:36:10.000 That's terrible, that.
00:36:12.000 Well, you're going to have to throw your pants, they call underwear pants.
00:36:16.000 You're going to have to toss your pants in the loo.
00:36:20.000 I'll wait here.
00:36:21.000 Do you want some napkins?
00:36:26.000 Bizarre, isn't it?
00:36:28.000 You know, we tend to totally ignore genetics because it sounds like eugenics, and that must be racist.
00:36:33.000 But there's really something magical about it.
00:36:36.000 And that's the cool thing about having kids, too, is you start seeing your traits in them.
00:36:42.000 Even physical traits.
00:36:43.000 Like, I get cankers sometimes, and my daughter's complaining about a canker, and I'm realizing, holy crap, you're gonna have cankers your whole life the same way I do.
00:36:51.000 That sucks.
00:36:54.000 I've ruined your life.
00:36:57.000 Same with the temper.
00:36:58.000 Same with the humor.
00:37:00.000 Same with the attitude.
00:37:01.000 Even that weh balls.
00:37:02.000 Wet balls.
00:37:04.000 Even that is a genetic trait.
00:37:09.000 In other words, stay close with your family.
00:37:12.000 They matter.
00:37:13.000 And make more family.
00:37:15.000 You have the genitalia to make more family from scratch.
00:37:19.000 You should.
00:37:20.000 There's something magical about it.
00:37:22.000 There's something God-like about it.
00:37:25.000 It's all part of God's plan.
00:37:27.000 God's plan.
00:37:28.000 God's plan.
00:37:30.000 Alright, that's all I got for you today, folks.
00:37:32.000 I am brutally hungover, um, after partying with that cousin.
00:37:36.000 Uh, I'll have another one on Friday, but we have a... So, there's a change of pace going on here.
00:37:41.000 I'm gonna change studios, uh, for Get Off My Lawn, the show, and, uh, we're gonna start again on Monday.
00:37:49.000 No more shows this week.
00:37:51.000 Because I'm shooting my other show, CRTV Tonight, with Gavin McInnes.
00:37:55.000 The eponymous talk show where we have live guests and we have a little interview in the middle and then we do a little game show at the end, viral video, stuff like that.
00:38:06.000 Just hangin'.
00:38:08.000 It's like a hangin' out talk show.
00:38:09.000 Comedy, politics.
00:38:11.000 It's pretty right-wing, but more just not liberal.
00:38:15.000 Making fun of political correctness.
00:38:16.000 You know, First Amendment, Second Amendment type of stuff.
00:38:19.000 So the deal now is four shows on one week, and then two shows the next week because there's a CRTV Tonight show.
00:38:27.000 So technically, you are getting one less show for your buck.
00:38:34.000 But the CRTV Tonight is so exciting
00:38:39.000 I think so.
00:38:58.000 You will keep getting more and more shows.
00:39:01.000 And better shows.
00:39:02.000 And weirder shows.
00:39:04.000 And of course, this podcast will prevail.
00:39:07.000 I'll see you on Friday.
00:39:08.000 Goodbye.