Gavin McInnes talks to Nick Cave at a meet-and-greet in which he asks him a bunch of questions about his life and career, including, you guessed it, what he has for lunch. And it doesn t go well. It doesn't go well at all. And that's a good thing, because he's not here to talk about it. He's here to ask other questions. And to answer them. And to make matters worse, he doesn't have a clue what to do with the questions he's asked. And Gavin can't even figure out what to say to Nick about it, because Nick doesn't know what he's talking about. And Gavin knows exactly what he should do with it, which is not to say it's not a good one. This episode was produced and edited by Annie-Rose Strasser and Alex Blumberg. It was edited by Patrick Muldowney. Our theme music was made by Mark Phillips and our ad music was written and performed by Matthew Boll. We mixed it with music written by Bobby Lord and Mark Phillips. Our editor was Matthew Boll and our editor was Ben Koppel. We were edited by Ben Kaufmann. Additional editing was by Patrick McElroy and Matthew Boll, and additional mixing and mastering by Ben Kacz, and editing by Patrick McKirdy. Additional production by Rachel Ward and Rachel Ward, and Matthew Kuchta. Music by Matthew Keyser, and music production by Matthew McElver and Rachel Goodman, and a very good sound design by Ben Kotnik, and Bobby Lord, and Alex Kuchar, and Rachel Maddison, with additional editing by Jack Williams, and the help from James Hermoza, and Jack Owens, and Jeff Perrin, and Patrick Ralden, and Ben Kortney, and Michael Kucharen, and James Hillier, and Mark Ruzicka, and Andrew Dunn, and Mike McLennan, with assistance from Alex Blanchard, and Chris Evans, and Jake McLennon, and Dan Kotler, and Sarah Shaw, and Tom Bell, and Emma Jacobs, and Annie-Elliot, and Daniel Turner, and Alistair Ollie, and John Rachael Smith, and Jordan Smith, with help from Rachel Adams, and Nicky, and Caitlin O'Donnell, and Sam Kuchor, and Robynn, and Molly O'Brien, and Matt Cawthorne.
Transcript
Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. You can also explore and interact with the transcripts here.
00:00:00.000My wife asked Nick Cave what he has for lunch last night.
00:00:06.000I'm not saying that Nick Cave eats his lunch at night.
00:00:10.000Well, actually Australians kind of eat their lunch yesterday, right?
00:00:18.000That's why I don't like to talk to Australian journalists, because they're literally yesterday's news.
00:00:24.000But it was at a meet-and-greet kind of thing where he plays his songs and then you ask him questions after.
00:00:31.000Tell you what I would have asked if I wasn't at home babysitting the kids and I was invited.
00:00:34.000I wouldn't have phrased it exactly like this, but...
00:00:40.000The fact that your son died on acid while jumping off a cliff because he thought he could fly is all I think about at your shows now and I'm sure 90% of the audience is on the same page.
00:00:53.000So you've gone from like the dark goth singing guy that's from the birthday party to the guy whose son killed himself.
00:01:36.000You know, city's no place to raise a kid.
00:01:39.000My question is in two parts, and I'm gonna say the second part after the first part, though the second part has a lot more to do with the first part than you'd think.
00:02:06.000In fact, the farther right you go, the weirder the guys.
00:02:10.000You go to some like super ultra conservative
00:02:13.000Secret rally and the guy's got a fucking beard down to his tits and two leather mans and some weird, you know, bolero tie and Robert E. Lee's actual boots he got from a museum that he stole.
00:02:36.000So they're all like, when you were touring with Blix Bargel on that third single, was it, there's a moment there in the song, Depression Without Relenting Consent, where I feel that there's a noise in the studio.
00:05:00.000I'm reluctant to talk about them because I have so many crazies that follow me and I don't want them, you know, knowing anything about my family and I can't put pictures of them on Instagram.
00:05:08.000You'll notice that, by the way, like you look at Dana Lash's Instagram and you see zero pictures of her kids.
00:05:13.000Sometimes you'll see the back of their head.
00:05:15.000Isn't this proof that the left are lunatics?
00:05:19.000You see, lots of liberals kids, liberal commentators, they can put their kids everywhere.
00:05:25.000They don't need, you know, state-of-the-art security at their houses the way we do.
00:05:30.000Dinah Lash has had to move like three times this year.
00:05:35.000Anyway, I like to keep it apolitical in this podcast, but I don't want to talk about my kids in the modern sense, but I can talk about them when they were younger.
00:05:44.000I got a baseball kid and then a chick who's like 11, which is basically a woman now.
00:05:53.000And then I have a little five-year-old who looks not a lot like me at all.
00:05:59.000He looks a lot like the Chinese delivery guy who was coming by a lot about nine months before he was born, which I assume is just a coincidence.
00:06:11.000But I'm not a big fan of Chinese food anymore, I'll tell you that much.
00:06:16.000Anywho, here's my theory about what's going on.
00:06:35.000So she had this like little 1970s thing she got on eBay that's like a little pantsuit jumper for maybe for girls, but it's like little shorts with a little shirt combined into one piece.
00:06:47.000Yellow and red stripes and stuff and little dots, whatever.
00:07:49.000And so I, you know, like with my boy and my daughter, my other two, whenever I hug my wife or kiss her or whatever around them, they're just like, whatever mom, gross.
00:07:58.000But when he, when I do it around him, he gets pissed off and he separates us because he doesn't like people messing with his girl.
00:08:06.000And I'll notice even in his sleep, he'll come and sleep in our bed and he'll start kicking me and he'll literally kick me out of bed.
00:08:53.000And then I come in about 20 minutes later, and my wife is on the trampoline sweeping it, because when she walked by, he went, oh, wiped his brow with no sweat on it, and went, oh, this is so hard.
00:09:05.000She's like, here, I'll give you a hand.
00:09:07.000No, you're getting hustled by Ratso Rizzo, the alpha midget.
00:09:13.000And so by the time, like, Mom, I need a hug.
00:11:53.000And they had beer on their boats, of course, because it was the only way you could get liquid that, that, uh, that wouldn't have bacteria in it, because the bacteria would get too wasted.
00:14:43.000They, the, the fashion trend back then, and it is the greatest fashion trend ever in the history of chicks.
00:14:52.000Accelerator girls, the ZZ Top girls from the video legs, like the leather hats from cruising and fingerless mesh gloves and Madonna jewelry, lots of crosses and beads and stuff and mini skirts.
00:16:08.000She was doing a walk of shame once, walking home dressed like an accelerator girl at 8 in the morning while some mom was walking her kid to school.
00:16:16.000And she just stopped and barfed on the street and said, I am so sorry.
00:16:28.000What are you doing with a little kid in the East Village taking him to some shitty public school?
00:16:32.000Yeah, but I can live my Beastie Boys fantasies.
00:16:36.000Now I'm in a video about New York City, y'all.
00:16:40.000But she got out of the cab and her and her friends, me and Derek Beckles were just standing there, I forget what we were doing, barfing or doing coke or something.
00:16:49.000And she gets out of the car and we, he's like, she's pretty hot.
00:16:53.000And I was just, everything was in slow motion.
00:16:57.000And she looked at me like I was human garbage, just like,
00:17:27.000I think I even had a tennis headband on.
00:17:31.000It's weird coming from Montreal to New York, because Montreal is French-Canadian, so they're all like, you, why are you, no, that's Mexican.
00:19:02.000And the other guy, no one can drink with my dad.
00:19:04.000So the other guy's just like, so he pours the other guy into the passenger seat and drives back.
00:19:11.000And the other woman told me that she could see the tent.
00:19:15.000And before she started bitching at her husband, my dad unzips the tent and a fist just goes and pops out of the zipper hole and punches my dad in the face.
00:20:08.000Like, I know you think I'm a nice guy because I have character and I, you know, I won't fuck anyone over and I'm very loyal, but I'll also laugh at someone if they deserve it.
00:20:16.000We've even, I've even gone out, you know that dinner for schmucks thing?
00:20:27.000But the dinner for schmucks thing, I used to call it freak lunch, uh, that's totally ethical if the person never ever finds out.
00:20:34.000And it's been about a decade or more since I've done it, so I feel confident, uh, confessing that.
00:20:40.000But I have gone out, invited people out, and hung out with them with a friend, just cause they are so shitty, I wanna laugh at this, how horrible this person is.
00:22:13.000Uh, I'm not going to forget about the crying thing, but another thing that worked, and I'm just going to tell you about the successes, because there's a million failures for every success.
00:25:35.000So you get a lot of snark, or nothing at the dinner table, but then these alone times, all of a sudden, it's getting philosophical, like, what do you think is the tallest man in the world?
00:26:15.000All of a sudden, blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla.
00:26:28.000So those are my two recent parenting successes.
00:26:31.000Lockbox for all screens and designated alone time.
00:26:36.000And I don't think it has to be every single day.
00:26:38.000I mean, it is with the boy because of school, but as long as you sort of look back over the week and you've had one or two alone times with each child, even if you got 10, you'll, you know, it's like a little audit.
00:26:53.000And you'll find out if she hates school, or if someone's being bullied, or if they're having second thoughts about someone, they don't like hanging out with a kid, or some kid doesn't like hanging out with them.
00:27:03.000That's what I wanted to get to too, with their feelings.
00:27:08.000Sometimes when they're crying, you think, cry bitch.
00:27:11.000And sometimes when they're sad, it's like you're being stabbed.
00:27:15.000Through the chest but from like your pubes Up into your neck like the Scottish swords that Braveheart would use and and even previous to him I've grabbed them before they weigh about 80 pounds and they're not sharp They cut you in half the way a car would cut you in half It's just the sheer force of an 80 pound piece of steel hitting you
00:27:42.000Like, they could be as rounded as a pole, and they would still cut you in half.
00:27:46.000So, it's a sword of that magnitude, like a Knights of the Templar fuckin' Sword of Truth thing that you pull out of the rock, going in through and up, like you're just hanging on the sword.
00:28:12.000Has to eat lunch like alone by their locker or something because I don't know if they farted in school or someone made fun of them or you know, it's pretty random what makes kids a pariah.
00:28:21.000It's not like they're poor so no one likes them.
00:28:24.000It could be they look like an unpopular celebrity.
00:28:29.000You never know what's gonna set off this Lord of the Flies shit.
00:28:31.000Piggy has a conch shell and boom, he's dead.
00:28:35.000So the idea of that happening to your kid is crucified on a sword right out of the omen where that priest gets that with the pole from the church and he's standing suspended on the grass with the pole in his body holding him up.
00:28:48.000It's that kind of stabbing where you're just like, I'm a sword puppet.
00:28:53.000Like I, if I hear any kind of news about that about my kid, I have to like sit down on the toilet with the seat down I mean.
00:29:02.000But conversely, when they're crying about something frivolous, you go, this is good because they're developing thicker skin and they're obviously spoiled.
00:29:13.000I'm watching a person become better before my very eyes.
00:29:16.000So she was being super melodramatic the other day about losing her phone and it was crying like right out of a silent film.
00:30:37.000Whereas after you have kids, you go, yeah, I am kind of happy, but you know, I'm worried about this one's development and this one draws less.
00:33:04.000By coming up with a sonar that can see into submarines and see nuclear subs and call their bluff and say, there's actually only two people in there!
00:33:13.000I can tell by the vibrations from the sonar, by the way!
00:33:18.000And help design the XM-1 tank, the world's fastest tank.
00:34:14.000Or if you catch yourself on a, on your computer's calculator, and you're like, okay, so we're doing this three times, it's ten dollars each, that is gonna be three x ten equals three, oh, oh, thirty, yeah, yeah.
00:34:27.000And I could hear his voice going, for fuck's sake, you did 3 times 10 on a fucking calculator!
00:34:33.000He'd be mad if I did 39 times 71 on a calculator.
00:34:53.000So, when he was a little kid, he would just suck on a soother, which he called a lily, because soother's too hard to say when you're a kid, so he came up with a new word, because he's a genius.
00:35:01.000And, uh, he would just stare and not say a word, and just take it all in.
00:35:08.000Uh, and then, when it's time to give your lilies to the lily fairy, which is another good way, I don't mean Lilith Fair, the festival, although that would work too, but the way you get rid of lilies is you say, by the way, everyone calls lilies in our family now, that's one of the cool things about kids, you pick up their colloquialisms.
00:35:24.000So, animals are amelos, um, you say the things that they say, straw bobos are strawberries, forever now.
00:35:34.000But once if you want to get rid of lilies you say we're gonna give all these to the lily fairy So other kids can have them because some kids can't afford lilies even though they're a buck You're lying, and then they feel like they're doing a good deed, and they love fairies coming in the middle of the night and Tooth fairies and stuff although you can't tell when they stop believing my kids my 11 year old hasn't told me whether she believes in Santa or not and I think she's not sure if I believe in him
00:36:02.000But when there's that many presents coming on one day of the year, you don't want to rock the boat.
00:36:08.000So, and I don't want to rock it either, because I don't want to, I don't want to blow it.
00:36:12.000And by the way, be very careful with, I think, Gremlins 2, because Phoebe Cate says she learned that Santa doesn't exist when her uncle died in the chimney.
00:36:22.000So you gotta fast forward through that part if you wanna let them see it, cause it's a really cool movie.
00:36:29.000But yeah, they like fairies coming tonight, you get rid of the lily, and as soon as we got rid of the lily, he's just like, alright, let's get started here.
00:36:34.000What I'm gonna do is I wanna watch, uh, real movie trailers, uh, I forget what it's called, but these guys reenact movie trailers with, uh, cardboard and stuff.
00:36:43.000So they'll take a trailer and they'll duplicate it frame by frame, but with action figures and cutout stuff, and it'll be, then you play them together and you realize it's a perfect recreation.
00:36:54.000So he starts watching that, making them all from scratch.
00:36:56.000He made a hand that's like a prosthetic.
00:37:01.000It's got threads that go through pieces of straw, and you connect it to your hand, and when you close your hand, the cardboard hand closes its hand too.
00:37:27.000And now I can just say, like, what, who won the World Series in 1991?
00:37:30.000And he says, the Baltimore Caesarbacks.
00:37:39.000I kind of lost him to baseball in a sense It's like the only time It's all we talk about and I don't know baseball and I can't like I like it.
00:39:00.000I mean, I thought Speaker's Corner used to be beautiful, used to be wonderful, but I think now it's sort of, uh... You know, people getting talked down, pulled down if they don't like the colour of their skin.
00:39:19.000And then I also got the Dead Kennedy's Plastic Surgery Disasters, where, uh, it was just, uh, the beginning of, uh, the album is a cacophony.
00:39:31.000So it's like, and this woman's going, why are you such a stupid asshole?
00:41:12.000Please don't go with them, or it's hate.
00:41:14.000I know, in the ghetto, we're having two black kids murdered every day in the south side of Chicago, but trust me, if you go with the GOP, it'll be even worse!
00:42:06.000And then the daughter's at that age where you want to help her with all her problems and go beat the shit out of anyone who makes her slightly uncomfortable as a dad.
00:42:19.000You can't do that, even if you want to.
00:42:20.000I remember when she was a little kid, there was this girl who was the queen, and everyone around her was a servant.
00:42:27.000This is back when we lived in Williamsburg.
00:42:29.000And so, the queen had, like, ten servants, and if you don't want to be a servant, you can fuck off, and you're ostracized.
00:42:36.000See what I was saying about the ostracization?
00:45:56.000It gets a little itchy down there as the human comes out of your hole.
00:46:01.000And obviously, gentlemen, my advice for you there is don't look no matter what.
00:46:10.000If you ever see a man just standing, staring off into space in a catatonic gaze where you think he's too young to have been in Vietnam and you're wondering what he's seen, he looked.
00:46:24.000He had a peek and he saw that weird wet hair pushing out of the almost ready to split vagina.
00:46:32.000And of course, poo and barf and all that other stuff.
00:48:12.000Look, if you're sitting next to someone, and that person gets stabbed in the chest, and you get punched in the nose, does your nose not hurt?
00:48:34.000I didn't know that an empty Gatorade bottle could break skin, but if it hits you in the head at over 120 miles an hour, your skin will open up like a woman giving birth.
00:49:20.000I put it in the case when she gets home.
00:49:22.000And he's staring up at her with a mean face, and she takes a picture, and then she goes, and then she shows it to him, this picture of him being tough, and he goes, don't mess with the jet.
00:50:14.000Fucking things I had to do with my son's Little League and friends to come in and nannies and all this shit to wrangle so I could go to England just for two days.
00:51:53.000And check out this YouTube video I just did where I noticed in a PSA for why kindergarten kids should talk about gay sex all day that I think this one lesbian is showcasing her beautiful sketches of serial killers.
00:52:13.000It is so depraved, and I don't go the Alex Jones route a lot with kids and depravity and thinking everyone is out to murder or molest kids, but this one is really getting close to justifying conspiracy theories.
00:52:30.000I like you more than a friend, and I'll see you on Tuesday.