Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 18, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #51 | You know that age when you really get into something?


Episode Stats

Length

45 minutes

Words per Minute

154.47084

Word Count

7,031

Sentence Count

644

Misogynist Sentences

33

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

On this episode of the podcast, the guys talk about their favorite childhood toys, favorite cartoons, and the weirdest things their kids were obsessed with when they were growing up. They also talk about what it was like growing up in the 80s and 90s listening to bands like ACDC, The Stooges, and The Sex Pistols, and talk about the early days of punk rock and the early 90s punk rock bands that influenced the music they listened to and the bands they loved to listen to. It's a fun episode that you won't want to miss! If you haven't checked out the show yet, be sure to do so before the end of the episode. It'll be worth your time to check it out. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends and family about this episode to let them know it's a good one! XOXO, John Rocha and the Podcast - John and the guys at The Rookery Boys Logo by and . is a production of Native Creative Podcast. All rights reserved. Used w/ permission from Native Creative Commons and Native Creative. All Rights Reserved. No commercial use, unless otherwise stated, unless stated, this episode may not be used in accordance with the terms set forth in this episode. John and I are not affiliated with Native Creative Content. We do not own the rights to any product or service provided. - This episode was produced by Native Creative or any other third-party provider. All credit given to any third party or distributor of this episode John is a proud owner of this podcast. Thank you for the use of any other than Native Creative Credit given to the creator of the music used in this podcast, , or any such credit given by the creator by any other distributor in any other source . and any other credit given in the song used in the episode, other such attribution given to this episode, or if credit given . or third party credit given on this episode is given to third party unless otherwise indicated. or such other such credit is credit given, etc., etc. , etc. etc., (condoned, etc.. etc., any other compensation is owed to any other person s use in the artist or other such compensation, etc. in any such thing, etc.) I am not compensated for this episode I have no such thing.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You know that age when you really get into something?
00:00:04.000 For me, it was punk.
00:00:06.000 But for other guys, it's motorbikes, or making a knife from scratch.
00:00:11.000 You know, like, uh... Knifesmiths?
00:00:13.000 Is that what they're called?
00:00:14.000 I see them on reality shows.
00:00:16.000 For my son, it was baseball.
00:00:17.000 He was always into a thing, though.
00:00:20.000 Like, when he was a little, little, little kid, he was into Yo Gabba Gabba.
00:00:26.000 That's a show.
00:00:27.000 It's a really good show, actually.
00:00:28.000 It's kind of punky.
00:00:30.000 Kid's show.
00:00:31.000 And the main guy is, the host is this guy, DJ Lance.
00:00:36.000 My dad goes, and who is PJ Banks?
00:00:41.000 But, uh, he's a black dude who wears like a furry orange hat.
00:00:45.000 And he, at the beginning of the show, he comes out with a ghetto blaster and he opens it up and there's all the little guys like Fufa and Muno and Broby and Plex.
00:00:58.000 Sorry if I'm forgetting anyone in Yo Gabba Gabba.
00:01:02.000 So he would, my boy Duncan would, my middle child, would come out when he was three with the Ghetto Blaster.
00:01:10.000 We got him like a toy version that has the characters in it.
00:01:13.000 And he would do the intro to the show.
00:01:14.000 Yo Gabba Gabba.
00:01:19.000 Again and again.
00:01:19.000 He's pretty serious about it too.
00:01:21.000 He wouldn't be laughing.
00:01:22.000 He was doing a very good recreation of the show.
00:01:28.000 And then he got into, uh... There's a thing, I've probably told you about this already.
00:01:33.000 By the way, I do hundreds of hours of content a week.
00:01:37.000 No, that can't be right.
00:01:38.000 What do I do?
00:01:41.000 Yeah, that's not quite right.
00:01:42.000 Four.
00:01:46.000 Six hours a week.
00:01:47.000 So, you're gonna hear the same story several times.
00:01:50.000 Get used to it.
00:01:51.000 It's like we're married.
00:01:53.000 And if you're in a marriage, you hear the same story pretty regularly.
00:01:58.000 But um, he really got into this.
00:02:01.000 There's a thing online and they take trailers and they redo them verbatim, frame by frame, but with cardboard or whatever they have around the house.
00:02:10.000 They obviously can't do a 7 million dollar trailer, so they do a trailer for like 400 bucks.
00:02:17.000 So he's obsessed with that and he did that for a while and he's making stuff.
00:02:19.000 That was a cool phase.
00:02:20.000 A lot of, like, duct tape and glue guns and cardboard around the house as he made a full-body RoboCop costume.
00:02:28.000 But, uh, I built him an art room in our new house that's just vacant now because then baseball hit and then that was it.
00:02:36.000 Sold.
00:02:38.000 Found my calling.
00:02:40.000 Like I caught him last night under the covers after lights out.
00:02:45.000 Just like looking at baseball stats.
00:02:47.000 Looking at different players.
00:02:49.000 Looking at their batting average.
00:02:54.000 Which is cool.
00:02:56.000 I'm totally for it.
00:02:56.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:02:58.000 And that's kind of a fun stage in your life.
00:02:59.000 So he hit it early.
00:03:00.000 The rest of us, we usually hit it when we hit adulthood, right?
00:03:05.000 When you turn 14, when you start getting pubes, that's when you start going, alright, now I found, now this is my fucking thing.
00:03:13.000 I'm sold.
00:03:17.000 Although, do we have other things?
00:03:18.000 Like, I really got into cartoons, and I wanted to be a cartoonist when I was in my early 20s.
00:03:23.000 But that's the thing about punk.
00:03:25.000 It's not like baseball where you can love it forever.
00:03:28.000 Punk is youth culture.
00:03:30.000 So you're blaspheming it if you're 22 and you have a mohawk.
00:03:35.000 That's irreligious.
00:03:38.000 That's against your religion.
00:03:40.000 So you kind of have to find a new thing when you get to be a certain age.
00:03:45.000 But uh... I have some of our songs somewhere.
00:03:52.000 I should bust them out.
00:03:55.000 Yeah, I have a live tape.
00:03:58.000 I got a Ghetto Blaster on eBay, because when my son goes up to bat, his middle name is White Thunder, and it's an Indian thing, and I like to go, Thunder!
00:04:13.000 Ah, Thunder!
00:04:14.000 As he steps up to the plate.
00:04:16.000 So I got this Ghetto Blaster I use on my show.
00:04:18.000 I got batteries for it, and I ordered the tape.
00:04:23.000 Thunderstruck by ACDC.
00:04:25.000 It's called, the album is called Razor's Edge or something like that.
00:04:29.000 So I ordered the cassette on eBay.
00:04:32.000 So now I can bring out the Ghetto Blaster when he goes up to the plate and press play.
00:04:36.000 Although he said, please don't do that, Dad.
00:04:39.000 But then I realized I have these old anal Chinook tapes.
00:04:42.000 My band, when I was, I'm jumping ahead here in the punk story, but
00:04:47.000 Uh, the band I was in in the, in 89, 90, 91 was called, uh, Anal Chinook.
00:04:53.000 It was started by this guy, Blake Jacobs, who went on to create wonderful bands like Manpower and, uh, Hot Piss.
00:05:04.000 I think he's at the House of Targ now in Ottawa, but, uh, it was his brainchild, but he had the smarts to hire me as the front man.
00:05:13.000 And, uh,
00:05:15.000 Anal Chinook means warm.
00:05:17.000 Chinook is an Inuit word for warm wind.
00:05:19.000 So anal Chinook meant fart.
00:05:21.000 Now this was kind of a thing back in the early 80s.
00:05:25.000 So we were a little late to the game.
00:05:27.000 But like I think on Wikipedia it's called clown punk.
00:05:31.000 But it was like goofy punk.
00:05:33.000 Peter and the Test Tube Babies were part of that thing and you would just, you'd get on stage, you had political lyrics, you were serious, so it was sort of like crass politically, but you'd have funny costumes on and you'd throw, like we had this song called Use Your Brains Now and we'd throw cow brains out into the audience and
00:05:54.000 And I think Tom Green kind of copied us, too.
00:05:57.000 He had a band called Organized Rhyme, and they would come out with, like, ski boots on their heads and stuff and throw stuff out in the crowd.
00:06:04.000 Tom, you ripped me off with that, but I'll see it as an homage.
00:06:09.000 We had a song called Foreskin.
00:06:11.000 It was a true story about when I was going to have my foreskin cut off, um, by a Muslim doctor, by the way.
00:06:17.000 I just, I had a problem with my frenulum, which is like, it's the thing that holds your whole foreskin together.
00:06:22.000 Say, you know, under your tongue, that little string, that is on your penis.
00:06:27.000 And I tore that or, or Deanna Craig tore it in, uh, 1988.
00:06:34.000 Um, so I went to a doctor and said, my dick's bleeding like a stuck pig.
00:06:39.000 I was having sex with this other girl, and as it went in, there'd be a showerhead just going, chh, chh.
00:06:45.000 So for every pump, I'd go, chh, and get a showerhead of blood back.
00:06:50.000 So the room looked like Amityville Horror.
00:06:54.000 So anyway, I go to the doctor and he says, we'll just circumcise you.
00:06:57.000 And I thought, no.
00:06:59.000 And it's funny, because as a circumcised guy, you're always wondering if you wish, I mean an uncircumcised guy, you always wondered if you wished you were circumcised.
00:07:07.000 You say you don't, but no one's going to criticize their own penis.
00:07:10.000 Sort of like being Canadian.
00:07:12.000 Like you think, do I secretly wish I was American?
00:07:14.000 Am I just pretending that I love Canada?
00:07:17.000 Do I wish I could go down to the Stars and Stripes?
00:07:20.000 And so when circumcision was handed to me on a silver platter, I said, no, I don't want to be that.
00:07:26.000 I definitely am not faking when I say I love being a Canadian foreskin.
00:07:32.000 So I just took it easy.
00:07:35.000 Had baths, which is hard for a young teenage man to do.
00:07:39.000 You know, exercised it very gently and didn't beat off or anything for about six months.
00:07:46.000 Which seems normal now, but back then, oh my god, six months is a long time.
00:07:51.000 And it worked!
00:07:53.000 I fixed it.
00:07:54.000 That doctor was wrong.
00:07:56.000 You know, when I was in London doing that free speech thing with Tommy Robinson, my bodyguard was this pro wrestler.
00:08:02.000 And he, we got talking.
00:08:04.000 That's probably why my speech was so shitty.
00:08:06.000 We were backstage in the boiling hot sun with barely a chair for eight hours.
00:08:12.000 I was cooked, and there's riots and fights going on outside.
00:08:16.000 Anyway, I'm talking to this soccer hooligan, pro wrestler, and he tells me he was circumcised for the exact same reason, by the way, at 28.
00:08:28.000 He said that they had to make a Weetabix box to go around it and it was covered and Can you imagine like you know how much it hurts when you cut your hands because there's so many nerve endings on your hands Or when you burn your hand it hurts way more than anywhere else on your like on your arm Or even you get a tattoo you get a tattoo on your on this on your shoulder feels like nothing But you get a tattoo somewhere sensitive like your ribs and it kills
00:08:53.000 Or your butt.
00:08:54.000 I got a tattoo of a butt on my butt.
00:08:56.000 Which has a tattoo of a butt on it, by the way.
00:08:57.000 I showed my dad and I thought he'd laugh and he goes, oh my god.
00:09:04.000 That's self-abuse.
00:09:07.000 So, uh...
00:09:11.000 Having an operation on your fucking penis must be... And every time, like, I had to take a knee when he told me this story.
00:09:19.000 And I'd go, Is that, uh, you deserve, you should be, you should join World War II vets on Memorial Day and stand next to them with, like, a trophy that's decorated like a foreskin on your jacket.
00:09:32.000 And he goes, My, it was the fucking worst.
00:09:35.000 Couldn't have been worse.
00:09:36.000 Couldn't have been fucking worse.
00:09:41.000 Ugh.
00:09:42.000 I knew another guy who had it.
00:09:43.000 He had to make a sort of a boundary thing around him with couch cushions.
00:09:47.000 So he had a couch cushion on each hip and then duct tape around his whole body so it could never bump into anything.
00:09:54.000 I think when he slept... Oh, I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
00:09:58.000 Blblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl
00:10:11.000 I think Blake made it.
00:10:12.000 He was quite handy.
00:10:13.000 He tried to get into art school.
00:10:16.000 And one of his submissions was what's-his-name-dances-with-wolves-guy.
00:10:23.000 What's his name again?
00:10:25.000 The Waterworld guy?
00:10:30.000 Kevin Costner.
00:10:31.000 It was Kevin Costner, surrounded by penises.
00:10:35.000 And it said, dances with penises.
00:10:40.000 Didn't get in.
00:10:41.000 I didn't get in either, actually.
00:10:43.000 My portfolio came back largely immature.
00:10:46.000 Potential unknown.
00:10:48.000 Which is still sort of going on.
00:10:50.000 It was an accurate assessment.
00:10:51.000 But anyway, we made a penis.
00:10:53.000 And then Blake would... This is actually on YouTube.
00:10:56.000 Blake rips my penis off with his teeth.
00:10:59.000 Rips the foreskin off.
00:11:01.000 And he sold his cock for punk rock, he then screams.
00:11:05.000 So, I'm getting to the end of punk, because soon after this band, I did another band called Leather Ass Buttfucker.
00:11:11.000 I wonder if I have that cassette somewhere.
00:11:14.000 That was with Shane Smith, the guy that I hired to do Sales Advice.
00:11:17.000 I think I do have that cassette.
00:11:19.000 I'm going to see if I can dig it up.
00:11:21.000 Anyway, this is my punk band, Anal Chinook, and this song is called Goodbye Ozone Layer.
00:11:32.000 Hey, John Brown, are you aware the ozone's depleting, but you don't care?
00:11:37.000 It's massive assault against the animals.
00:11:41.000 It's deforestation.
00:11:43.000 Did you hear that?
00:11:45.000 Hey, John Brown, are you aware the ozone's depleting, but you don't care?
00:11:51.000 The animals!
00:11:52.000 Deforestation!
00:11:53.000 Time!
00:11:56.000 A time attack!
00:11:58.000 It's like a large corporation!
00:12:11.000 You know what happens to these bands?
00:12:24.000 Inevitably, they get good.
00:12:27.000 So they start out doing good little punky riffs and then they learn to play their instruments and they start doing like 5-4 time and that's usually the end of the band.
00:12:37.000 Some people can handle it like Black Flag
00:12:40.000 They became a jazz trio, basically.
00:12:42.000 We used to do, a few years ago, I started a band called 80s Hardcore.
00:12:46.000 We covered 80s Hardcore.
00:12:47.000 Black Flag were way too hard to cover.
00:12:51.000 Same with Bad Brains.
00:12:52.000 They're just too good.
00:12:53.000 You have to do like Cro-Mags, no offense, John Joseph, and Agnostic Front and stuff.
00:13:00.000 But Husker Du, they got really good at their instruments and then they just became a really good pop band.
00:13:06.000 But we start, you can hear in that... The first riff was stolen from the Sex Pistols, but then the second riff was getting a little too jazzy.
00:13:14.000 And that's usually when it's time for the band to break up.
00:13:17.000 I won't bore you with too much of this, but let me hear another song.
00:13:24.000 Oh, that's the same song.
00:13:25.000 I haven't touched a cassette in so long.
00:13:27.000 I forgot how much you have to fast forward to go forward.
00:13:31.000 On Netflix, you just touch fast forward and you're ten minutes ahead.
00:13:35.000 On cassette flicks, you really gotta hold it down.
00:13:39.000 Hold it down, boy!
00:13:41.000 Alright, what's this?
00:13:45.000 Oh, that's Pee Wee's.
00:13:47.000 Pee Wee's Playhouse.
00:13:51.000 We did a cover of Pee Wee's Playhouse.
00:13:54.000 Which my brother, who was about five at the time, was thrilled about.
00:13:58.000 We, uh... We jammed at Blake Jacob's house and we had a song called Fuck You, and it went... Fuck you!
00:14:09.000 Fuck you!
00:14:13.000 And his mother didn't like it.
00:14:14.000 She's French-Canadian and they're very Catholic.
00:14:18.000 So we had to change it to God Bless You.
00:14:21.000 And one time we were playing that song, God Bless You, and it became about atheism and how awesome it is.
00:14:28.000 And we gave his dog a heart attack and his dog died.
00:14:32.000 He had a little tiny little schnitzer dog, whatever they're called, like my stupid dog.
00:14:37.000 And
00:14:38.000 Fuckin' died.
00:14:39.000 Sorry about that, Mrs. Jacobs.
00:14:41.000 Alright.
00:14:44.000 Oh my god, this is bad.
00:15:05.000 It's gotta get heavy soon.
00:15:25.000 That was a thing in, with hardcore, it was always like, it was like I was trying to scare you.
00:15:33.000 So it'd be like, woke up in the morning feeling, oh that's Ke$ha.
00:15:38.000 Ke$ha.
00:15:40.000 But it'd be like, parents getting on my nerves, gotta make it to school.
00:15:48.000 Change your mind, grab a gun, now who's the
00:15:56.000 It goes crazy after that.
00:15:59.000 It's like horror rock.
00:16:03.000 So I don't really remember this song, but I know it's gotta get heavy soon!
00:16:07.000 This must be it.
00:16:18.000 That's heavy, by the way.
00:16:24.000 Alright, so it's a cacophony.
00:16:28.000 You got it.
00:16:29.000 I haven't heard that tape in about 20 years, but I do remember cringing at one part where I go, this next song is about how society tries to control you.
00:16:43.000 What?
00:16:45.000 That's a big thing with punk.
00:16:46.000 Society doesn't give a shit.
00:16:48.000 It's not trying to control you.
00:16:49.000 Oh yeah?
00:16:50.000 That's the factory.
00:16:51.000 They raise you in the school, then they send you to the workforce, where you can work 9 to 5.
00:16:57.000 Remember that's a Kraft song too?
00:17:00.000 Where do we get it?
00:17:01.000 Swimming pools!
00:17:02.000 How do we get it?
00:17:03.000 Follow the rules!
00:17:04.000 System, system, system!
00:17:06.000 I don't know.
00:17:07.000 Swimming pools are awesome.
00:17:10.000 There's another crass lyric where they go, teaching little Johnny to use a gun.
00:17:16.000 Terrific way for a father to get to know his son.
00:17:20.000 Uh, yeah, it is a terrific way for a father to get to know his son.
00:17:24.000 What are you talking about?
00:17:26.000 I totally agree with your sarcasm.
00:17:29.000 Or they have another song called Red High Heels, and it's a woman being submissive, and it's a feminist anthem about how cruel we are to women and how gross it is that we make them wear red high heels.
00:17:42.000 And she's singing this high-pitched voice.
00:17:44.000 She's like, I'll be your bonza, your beautiful bonza, your black-eyed bonza, your erotically rotting.
00:17:49.000 And I'm listening to it as an adult going, awesome!
00:17:52.000 Great!
00:17:53.000 I can't wait.
00:17:54.000 Are you going to put on those red high heels you keep bitching about?
00:17:58.000 My feet are bound for your desire.
00:18:00.000 Sound like bound and tired I walk on fire.
00:18:04.000 Hit me out.
00:18:05.000 Kiss me with your lips.
00:18:07.000 Beat me with your fists.
00:18:09.000 Like, wow, this chick, this bitch is kinky.
00:18:11.000 I'm into it.
00:18:12.000 One other lyric, too, before I end the crass bashing is, what does he say?
00:18:19.000 System, system, system, teach him to crawl.
00:18:23.000 Uh, babies just crawl.
00:18:25.000 You don't have to teach a baby to crawl.
00:18:27.000 They just do it naturally.
00:18:31.000 But yeah.
00:18:33.000 You have that age at 14.
00:18:34.000 Now I'll go back to the beginning of the podcast.
00:18:36.000 You have that age.
00:18:37.000 It's usually 14.
00:18:38.000 You find your thing.
00:18:39.000 And it's fucking great.
00:18:42.000 It really is fun when you find your thing.
00:18:47.000 Become consumed by it.
00:18:48.000 I wish there was a way to incorporate education in that.
00:18:51.000 Like with my son, the baseball kid.
00:18:53.000 Can't the teachers just teach him baseball math?
00:18:56.000 Or English math?
00:18:57.000 I mean that's- I got him a book from the library called Strike 3 You're Dead.
00:19:00.000 So he could like read thrillers.
00:19:03.000 Make it?
00:19:04.000 I think there's a school like that.
00:19:05.000 I think it's Brown or something.
00:19:08.000 There's schools of thought, right?
00:19:09.000 With these fancy young private schools, like for toddlers.
00:19:14.000 Not quite toddlers, but you know, five and up.
00:19:16.000 Grade school.
00:19:18.000 And one of them encourages the group, and the other encourages the individual.
00:19:22.000 Go with individual.
00:19:23.000 Fuck the group.
00:19:24.000 I hate teamwork.
00:19:26.000 It's so gay.
00:19:27.000 Alright, does everyone contributed?
00:19:30.000 What did you do for the project?
00:19:31.000 Did you talk at the meeting?
00:19:33.000 I see these women.
00:19:34.000 There's an app for women where it tells them that they spoke X amount of time at the meeting and it gives them encouragement.
00:19:40.000 A fucking app.
00:19:41.000 Says, you were great at that meeting.
00:19:43.000 You spoke for 1.2 minutes.
00:19:47.000 Fuck meetings.
00:19:47.000 If you like meetings, you're bad at business.
00:19:50.000 And if you like teamwork, you're gay.
00:19:54.000 Ally is the name of the fucking software.
00:19:57.000 Ally.
00:19:57.000 I think if you need software to encourage you to be in the workforce, you probably don't belong in the workforce.
00:20:03.000 Let's cut the shit.
00:20:07.000 And yeah, the nature of individuals is we find a thing.
00:20:10.000 Now, if you haven't found your thing, that's not a big deal.
00:20:12.000 I've always said to people, it's like fashion, right?
00:20:16.000 If you're not inclined to like go ahead and get on a great outfit,
00:20:20.000 And have a look?
00:20:22.000 Then just go with the basics.
00:20:24.000 You got your Levi's, your Chuck Taylors, you got your White Hanes t-shirt, you got a Harrington jacket or a jean jacket, whatever.
00:20:32.000 You know, just... Especially with shoes.
00:20:34.000 You got your Rod Lavers, you got your Clarks, you got your Red Wings.
00:20:37.000 Just the basics.
00:20:39.000 Don't be adventurous.
00:20:40.000 And don't wear flip-flops.
00:20:41.000 I wanna see your fucking feet.
00:20:44.000 And it goes for you too, women.
00:20:46.000 I wanna see your mangled toes when I'm at a fucking bar.
00:20:50.000 Dammit, last night I went out here in the burbs.
00:20:53.000 It was a madhouse.
00:20:55.000 These suburbanites are lunatics.
00:20:58.000 First I go to one bar by the train station.
00:21:01.000 It's all hipsters.
00:21:02.000 It looks like a vice party in 2004.
00:21:06.000 Actually, it was an exaggeration of that.
00:21:08.000 It looked like a Hollywood set of hipsters at a vice party in 2004.
00:21:15.000 It was, uh, uh, I just got distracted because I remembered I want to go find a leatherized buttfuck, uh, cassette.
00:21:24.000 Um, it was, uh, yeah, this, as I walk in I just see all these twenty-something and I just go, nope.
00:21:31.000 I thought I was in the suburbs, by the way.
00:21:33.000 So then I go back upstairs and as I'm coming upstairs there's a guy with a leather motorcycle jacket, a white t-shirt, a top bun, and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
00:21:41.000 I'm an hour from Manhattan right now.
00:21:44.000 And I go, nope, too busy.
00:21:47.000 And he goes, hey, howdy!
00:21:48.000 I think he recognized me.
00:21:50.000 And I go, hello, I'm out of here.
00:21:52.000 And he goes, whoa, you leaving this fucking place?
00:21:55.000 I like how he added fucking in there to be cool.
00:21:59.000 Then I go to this other bar that's older people.
00:22:02.000 It's jam-packed with broads.
00:22:04.000 It's like Mom Central.
00:22:06.000 Maybe teachers have a holiday today or something?
00:22:09.000 So I can't go in there.
00:22:12.000 Because we know how women are when they're drunk.
00:22:13.000 They're so, they're ear-piercingly loud.
00:22:15.000 Then I finally found this gross old man bar a little bit out of the ways.
00:22:20.000 And there's like five drunk guys there yelling.
00:22:23.000 Listening to Bruce Springsteen, he's playing My Hometown, and they're like, I love this song.
00:22:27.000 What's it called again?
00:22:28.000 Born in America?
00:22:30.000 And there's an AMA fight on where someone's massacring another man, six foot four men.
00:22:36.000 And I think, finally, finally I'm home.
00:22:39.000 Why didn't I come here first?
00:22:41.000 Everything they yell makes me laugh.
00:22:43.000 Is this song Born in America?
00:22:46.000 And meanwhile, Bruce Springsteen is saying, clear as a pin, my hometown.
00:22:52.000 Once again, just to be clear, it's my hometown.
00:22:57.000 That's what fucking song this is.
00:23:00.000 And the other guy's like, I love Born in America.
00:23:04.000 It's called Born in the USA, and it starts out with a
00:23:09.000 Like it's a fucking loud jam with almost like a Liberty Bell smashing from the very beginning.
00:23:16.000 It's not a sweet little ballad about being from a really small town.
00:23:24.000 And he tussled my hair in my tiny town.
00:23:28.000 It wasn't the Born in the USA Vietnam song that's way louder than this.
00:23:36.000 BORN IN AMERICA!
00:23:40.000 Fuckin' funny.
00:23:41.000 I love drunk men.
00:23:42.000 I'm gay for drunk men.
00:23:44.000 And then, so I'm sitting there and I'm like, finally, I ordered a Maker's Mark.
00:23:47.000 I haven't had a Maker's in a while.
00:23:48.000 I started going off this beer starvation diet.
00:23:50.000 I lost a good, like, 12 pounds, I think.
00:23:53.000 But I think it's making me bald.
00:23:55.000 I think my body thinks I'm dying.
00:23:57.000 It's getting rid of the excess hair.
00:23:59.000 So that, I don't know, the funeral will go smoother.
00:24:03.000 But then, a group of lower middle class baby boomers
00:24:09.000 I'm not being classist, I'm just giving you the demographics.
00:24:12.000 So, likely teachers?
00:24:15.000 Come in, about 50% men, 50% women.
00:24:17.000 My age, 40-somethings.
00:24:19.000 They come in, they're drunk, it's a birthday party.
00:24:22.000 Alright.
00:24:23.000 I've seen Motorhead live many times.
00:24:25.000 They're known as the loudest band in rock and roll.
00:24:28.000 These people made Motorhead sound like Bruce Springsteen singing about his hometown.
00:24:33.000 Holy fucking shit were they loud!
00:24:38.000 And obnoxious, too.
00:24:40.000 One of the women, drunk women, the worst.
00:24:42.000 I'm racist against drunk women.
00:24:44.000 One of the women comes up and says to the bartender, Hey, can you fast forward this song?
00:24:50.000 And the bartender goes, um, no.
00:24:53.000 She didn't have a good response.
00:24:55.000 She said, oh, he chose it.
00:24:56.000 I can't do that.
00:24:57.000 What she should have said is, what is this, a ghetto blaster?
00:25:00.000 I can't fast forward a jukebox.
00:25:02.000 You can't just go.
00:25:09.000 What happened?
00:25:12.000 Is it blank?
00:25:13.000 I guess Pee Wee was the last song.
00:25:15.000 I'll go back to the beginning.
00:25:18.000 And then it was just a raging cacophony.
00:25:22.000 I shouldn't have gone out.
00:25:23.000 It was a madhouse.
00:25:26.000 But anyway, uh, the punk phase.
00:25:31.000 So I remember I was coming home with my mom, and I'm telling you this because I hope that you had a similar story when you had your sort of awakening.
00:25:40.000 That moment where you'd become woke.
00:25:43.000 And I was maybe 12, and uh, I was getting along with my mom.
00:25:49.000 My mom and I were best friends, and then adolescence hit and we were arch enemies.
00:25:52.000 I don't know what that is.
00:25:54.000 I've heard women say that.
00:25:56.000 That they were best friends with their dad and then they hit puberty and their dad was weird around them after that.
00:26:00.000 Maybe they become too sexy and the dad's like, what the fuck?
00:26:03.000 My daughter has tits.
00:26:05.000 I'm not looking forward to that stage.
00:26:07.000 But uh, that happened with my mom and I. But anyway, we were best pals when we were- when I was a kid.
00:26:12.000 So we went shopping, as we're wont to do.
00:26:14.000 And we're coming back in the car and Billy Idol's White Wedding comes on.
00:26:25.000 Brilliant song, and it's brilliant for a million reasons.
00:26:29.000 I did a whole episode I think on Generation X, but Billy Idol was a punk rock star.
00:26:36.000 And even the way he did that was awesome, where everyone was political and serious and about the revolution, and Generation X just wanted to be pop stars.
00:26:43.000 And they were.
00:26:44.000 They did a great job.
00:26:46.000 But, you know, punk pop has an epoch, and post-Zenith, they were dying.
00:26:53.000 Oh, now we're done.
00:26:55.000 And, uh, he thought, I know what I'll do.
00:26:59.000 I've got a little bit of money.
00:27:00.000 I'm going to move to New York City.
00:27:01.000 Meanwhile, he's like 25.
00:27:02.000 He's a young man.
00:27:04.000 I'll move to New York City, and I'll invent a new type of music called dance punk.
00:27:11.000 Where I'll take punk, and I'll maintain my YELLY THING!
00:27:15.000 But I'll also add a beat to it, a drum machine, and an 808 techno thingamajiggy, a sampler, whatever.
00:27:23.000 And I'll have Chick singing in like Lou Reed, Walking the Wild Side stuff, and the Colored Girls sing, doo-doo-doo.
00:27:29.000 I'll do all that!
00:27:31.000 Smashing success.
00:27:32.000 Way bigger than Generation X. Most people have never even heard of Generation X. He's still touring.
00:27:37.000 He's playing in San Bernardino, I think, this weekend.
00:27:40.000 Brilliant move.
00:27:41.000 You gotta read his autobiography if you're into this shit.
00:27:43.000 It's great.
00:27:43.000 He's from Bromley.
00:27:45.000 And him and Susie Sue of Susie and the Banshees were known as the Bromley contingent.
00:27:48.000 Of course, you compare that rebellion
00:27:52.000 In 79, to the new Bromley contingent, which is Richard Reed, the shoe bomber.
00:27:56.000 How rebellion has changed over the years.
00:27:59.000 Used to be you'd dye your hair blonde and make your parents shriek.
00:28:02.000 Now you try to take down a plane.
00:28:05.000 Bromley's evolved.
00:28:09.000 But I just became consumed with Billy Idol as a young man.
00:28:14.000 Totally and utterly consumed.
00:28:16.000 I dressed like him.
00:28:18.000 I wore a fake leather vest with buttons and doohickeys on it.
00:28:23.000 Back in the 80s you would buy these pins that were square pins or about an inch by an inch.
00:28:27.000 So I had two stripes of Billy Idol pins on my jacket.
00:28:33.000 And my locker was all Billy Idol.
00:28:36.000 And uh...
00:28:37.000 You know, you didn't have the internet back then.
00:28:39.000 So you would just need to buy a Billy Idol, like, coffee table book, or you'd buy Billy Idol records, and you'd buy Billy Idol pins and stuff.
00:28:47.000 And then one guy in class who was way cooler than me goes, so you must love Generation X. And I go, uh, yes.
00:28:54.000 What's that?
00:28:57.000 Meanwhile, we were Generation X. And I didn't know what that was.
00:29:03.000 So then I went and checked them out.
00:29:06.000 I know it sounds weird to be a Billy Idol fan and not have heard of Generation X, but pre-internet, that's the way it was.
00:29:11.000 You know, you'd probably go to New York and stay near Central Park and think you had seen all of New York.
00:29:17.000 There was no research.
00:29:19.000 Any hizzle.
00:29:22.000 I discovered Generation X, and then I discovered this thing called punk, and then I was like, that's it, I'm a punk, I don't fucking care how shitty this music is, I'm becoming a punk.
00:29:31.000 Let's hear it.
00:29:31.000 Uh-oh.
00:29:36.000 If your cassette- I remember now, if you press play and it bounces off play,
00:29:40.000 At 7 o'clock, the doors will open, and at 7.30, Mental Case will hit the stage.
00:29:45.000 That's Sean Scallon of CKCU.
00:29:48.000 And each half hour or so, we'll have a new band going on until 11.30 at night, so hopefully people who have to take buses can get home relatively early.
00:29:56.000 It's only going to be $5 at the door, or $4 if you have a Friends of CKCU or CUID card, so it's definitely a bargain.
00:30:03.000 $5 and five bands.
00:30:06.000 As well, there will be tables set up from local environmental and other sorts of positive type of left-wing groups, or whatever you want to call them.
00:30:15.000 We'll have people from... AILS?
00:30:21.000 Excuse me, but AILS should occur currently.
00:30:25.000 They're currently just roaming beside me in the studio here, so I guess we're gonna have to get on to them before they take off.
00:30:30.000 Oh, I had forgotten about that!
00:30:32.000 So while he was doing the announcement announcing our show, Blake and I took our pants off and we were pushing our butt cheeks against the plexiglass.
00:30:41.000 Which, by the way, is called pressing a ham.
00:30:43.000 Remember in eighth grade, we were on a school trip and we pushed our butt cheeks against the back of the school bus?
00:30:54.000 And we were- I was in a special class for mostly stupid kids, but there was also children that were dying of cancer and stuff, and I was there because I was badly behaved.
00:31:03.000 So it was just like the Island of Misfit Toys.
00:31:05.000 That's- that's how shitty teachers are.
00:31:07.000 They don't- everyone- like, there was a girl in our class, in Mr. Gunn's class, this is a Diabri Moody, who, uh, there's nothing wrong with her.
00:31:16.000 She was just dying.
00:31:18.000 She had cancer.
00:31:19.000 And the teachers didn't want to look at her face, I guess, because she was a bummer.
00:31:30.000 Isn't that insane?
00:31:31.000 I wonder how she felt.
00:31:33.000 I mean, we were too young to know.
00:31:35.000 She was just like, that was Jennifer.
00:31:37.000 Hi, what's going on?
00:31:38.000 Why don't you have eyebrows?
00:31:40.000 Nice pirate hat.
00:31:41.000 But there was another kid in that class, I just remember, named Tony, who was a hemophiliac.
00:31:47.000 And his grades were fine.
00:31:49.000 And he paid attention in class, but he had a blood disease.
00:31:52.000 Put him in Mr. Gunn's class.
00:31:53.000 Get him out of my fucking face.
00:31:55.000 I remember we would punch him sometimes.
00:31:57.000 And he'd go, you know, the way, we weren't bullying him, but we were just like Canadian, you know, hosers.
00:32:03.000 And, uh, I remember punching me.
00:32:05.000 He goes, every time you guys punch me, every time I get punched, I have to go get a blood test.
00:32:10.000 It costs $85.
00:32:10.000 And I remember holding his arm and just nailing him like 20 times.
00:32:14.000 And I go, whoa, we're really racking up a bill, aren't we, Tony?
00:32:22.000 I'll never forget that.
00:32:26.000 But yeah, we're pushing our butts again.
00:32:28.000 Mr. Gunn, who was a tough guy.
00:32:30.000 He was an Alberta farmer.
00:32:31.000 We have cowboys, believe it or not.
00:32:33.000 They have rodeos and stuff over in Calgary.
00:32:35.000 Calgary rodeo.
00:32:36.000 Calgary Stampede, it's called.
00:32:38.000 And he had cowboy boots on and his hair was like mine is now.
00:32:40.000 He looked like Jack Palance.
00:32:42.000 He had one suit that he wore every day.
00:32:45.000 It was kind of polyester and brown.
00:32:47.000 And he was a big grizzled guy, big Slovakian face, you know, looked like Charles Bronson.
00:32:53.000 And he said, hey, in this classroom, in this class, we do not push our bare buttocks against glass on a trip.
00:33:05.000 And then someone had the balls to go, it's called pressing a ham, Mr. Gunn.
00:33:10.000 And
00:33:11.000 Everyone in the class, it was like mustard gas.
00:33:15.000 Everyone on the bus was dead.
00:33:17.000 We were laughing so fu- Cause it's tense, right?
00:33:20.000 Remember that in school?
00:33:22.000 Someone would, you'd be in trouble, and then someone would say something out of the blue and you would all die because it would just shatter the tension?
00:33:29.000 I remember Mr. Shepard, ironically, was at Bell's Corners Public School and he was yelling at us, and someone was doing something and everyone was mimicking, and he made us all leave the class and line up outside the classroom.
00:33:40.000 He was so mad.
00:33:41.000 It was like some weird, you know, military school thing.
00:33:44.000 And he said, he said, why, someone does something and y'all have to do it, right?
00:33:49.000 What are you, sheep?
00:33:50.000 And then there was a long silence, and then someone at the back of the class goes, bah!
00:33:55.000 Again, mustard gas.
00:33:58.000 No knees could hold up any bodies.
00:34:00.000 We all just, it was like a firing squad.
00:34:04.000 We all collapsed instantly.
00:34:08.000 Anyway, let's hear.
00:34:12.000 Oh yeah, so we're pressing hams against the plexiglass.
00:34:16.000 We were banned.
00:34:17.000 He banned us from the CKCU studios after that.
00:34:20.000 But he's clearly laughing his head off.
00:34:23.000 Why were we banned?
00:34:31.000 Thank you.
00:34:31.000 When you talk, please talk closer to the mic.
00:34:33.000 Thank you very much.
00:34:35.000 That's good, Gavin.
00:34:36.000 Okay, let's do the usual junk.
00:34:38.000 Start off by telling me who's in the band.
00:34:40.000 Well actually, the last time we spoke to you there were different people in the band.
00:34:44.000 What happened to the people, where did they go, and who did you replace them with?
00:34:47.000 I don't know what happened.
00:34:49.000 Andy Miller, who used to be our drummer, he went away to New Brunswick.
00:34:53.000 So, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
00:34:54.000 I'm gonna leave this playing, I'm gonna go try to find my other band, Leatherass Buttfuck.
00:34:58.000 That was a band, we were in Amsterdam, and we went to one of these sex shops, and we said, we want your worst magazine!
00:35:07.000 Oh, I don't know what you mean.
00:35:09.000 Go- I want- I don't care what it costs.
00:35:12.000 I want your most, like, behind the counter, behind a steel wall.
00:35:15.000 You have to go into a safe.
00:35:16.000 I basically- I'm lucky I didn't end up with kiddie porn.
00:35:19.000 I want your most raunchy, most disgusting, most horrible thing.
00:35:22.000 And they go, okay, okay, okay.
00:35:24.000 So they go to the back room, and for $17 they give us a magazine, and it was called Leather Ass Butt Fuck.
00:35:31.000 All one word.
00:35:33.000 And it wasn't that raunchy.
00:35:34.000 It was just a bunch of gay dudes in leather, like, putting stuff up their butts and beating the shit out of each other, but... I don't know.
00:35:40.000 In New York, that's just... That's the New York Post.
00:35:44.000 Alright, so I'm gonna play this and see if I can find that on the cassette.
00:35:48.000 Yeah, to pursue a business career.
00:35:51.000 Commerce.
00:35:53.000 And Tommy Pigeon, who used to be our singer, but he didn't have that much time for the band.
00:36:00.000 He does now, though, when he wants back.
00:36:02.000 Pension arises.
00:36:05.000 Kind of scary.
00:36:05.000 And, uh, yeah.
00:36:07.000 Thank you.
00:36:08.000 Go ahead.
00:36:09.000 What else do you want me to say?
00:36:10.000 Oh, yeah.
00:36:10.000 Morty plays bass.
00:36:11.000 He's married to Nancy Reagan.
00:36:13.000 And then there's, uh... Who's on drums?
00:36:15.000 Pete Lawton's on drums.
00:36:16.000 Pete Lawton on... A fine suburban young boy.
00:36:18.000 And Mark Wieger on guitar.
00:36:21.000 Lead guitar.
00:36:22.000 So the new guys are myself on vocals, Gavin McInnes, and Peter Lawton on drums.
00:36:26.000 Yeah.
00:36:27.000 Okay, now you guys are sort of in the same respect as Orleans, kind of isolated and people in mental cases.
00:36:32.000 You guys are from Canada, right?
00:36:34.000 Yes.
00:36:34.000 Now, how has Canada influenced your music?
00:36:38.000 Well, there's not too many Canada bands to influence our music.
00:36:41.000 Well, like, living in Canada.
00:36:44.000 Did that drive you to a life of punk rock, Gavin?
00:36:48.000 Yeah, I think the distinct lack of problems in Canada has given us a lot of money for amps and stuff.
00:36:55.000 I'm afraid Canada doesn't influence us that much.
00:37:00.000 All right, found it.
00:37:03.000 The thing I want to get across though is I remember becoming obsessed with punk rock, getting the record Sex Pistols, Crass,
00:37:14.000 I'm forcing myself to like it.
00:37:15.000 Like, when I first heard GBH, I thought, this is noise.
00:37:18.000 I don't like this song.
00:37:21.000 But I made myself like it.
00:37:23.000 And then there's this thing with punk where you're a poser, unless you get all the right gear, and go to an X amount of shows, and you have to sort of earn your stripes.
00:37:32.000 And you get beat up.
00:37:34.000 And it's funny... I had to run downstairs.
00:37:37.000 It's funny seeing all these trans people just put a fucking wig on, and they're a woman.
00:37:44.000 Which should be harder to acquire than punk.
00:37:49.000 It should be kind of a big deal to become a gender.
00:37:53.000 I mean, look at the movie Splash, how hard that mermaid had to work to become a human being.
00:37:59.000 She had to get rid of her tail, she had to watch like a thousand hours of TV, she had to learn to speak and stuff.
00:38:05.000 Or those robots, like Data, who can do everything, but they are having trouble with love and humor.
00:38:11.000 I don't seem to be able to understand humor.
00:38:14.000 But you can just be a broad if you put a mop on your head?
00:38:18.000 And then I remember getting to the stage where I was, we were all in a punk house, which is a thing, that was a thing with punk where you would, someone would put on a suit and look nice and rent a house and then you'd all crash in there and there'd be like 15 people living in a house and it would just get destroyed.
00:38:35.000 Fred Armisen does a great Portlandia sketch about punk houses.
00:38:38.000 Really, really accurate.
00:38:40.000 Alarmingly accurate.
00:38:42.000 But I remember finally getting there and then just sort of going, eh, this isn't all it's cracked up to be.
00:38:48.000 Like, there is no joy at the tavern as great as the road thereto.
00:38:55.000 As Cormac McCarthy says in The Road.
00:38:57.000 All right, let me see where this is.
00:39:01.000 This tape player, believe it or not, this tape player from the 80s kind of sucks.
00:39:09.000 Tapes don't even fit.
00:39:14.000 But I think it was a good break.
00:39:23.000 Uh-oh.
00:39:25.000 Remember these days of cassettes?
00:39:27.000 When anything remotely unusual happens, it's like working in a nuclear power plant.
00:39:30.000 You have to go, uh-oh, and get it out of there.
00:39:32.000 Because if you let things go too long, see, that's not good.
00:39:39.000 That's not a good sound.
00:39:41.000 If you let things go too long and you take it out, it's just spaghetti guts.
00:39:45.000 Alright, come on.
00:39:46.000 Oh, the power wasn't on.
00:39:50.000 Uh-oh.
00:39:52.000 Oh great, now I can't even eject it.
00:39:54.000 Jesus Christ.
00:39:56.000 Thank God they got rid of these stupid things.
00:39:59.000 Oh wait, now it's doing shit I can't control!
00:40:02.000 Shit, this is the only copy of that cassette.
00:40:10.000 Help!
00:40:13.000 Alright, Dave's gonna unplug it.
00:40:17.000 You know, another good thing about being in a band, too, is it teaches you about fame and how gay it is.
00:40:23.000 Like, you realize that it means nothing.
00:40:24.000 I think a lot of people want to be famous, but when you're in a band, you're famous in your tiny little scene.
00:40:29.000 And you realize all it is, really, is having boring conversations with strangers.
00:40:34.000 It's not like... It's not like people carry you everywhere and you get to meet all these amazing people.
00:40:40.000 It's kind of boring.
00:40:42.000 Fuck, have I broken this goddamn cassette?
00:40:45.000 This thing cost me a ton of money and I'm gonna take it to Duncan's Games.
00:40:49.000 Now I'm pissed off.
00:40:52.000 Is that punk?
00:40:52.000 Is it punk to be pissed off?
00:40:55.000 God damn it.
00:40:56.000 I'm doing that stupid thing that men do where they just keep pushing the same button a hundred times, hoping that it's a time travel button.
00:41:08.000 And you know what's even stupider is, I'm going to pry this open with a knife, get it open, and then I'm just going to push it back and press play again, and the exact same thing will happen.
00:41:17.000 Here, let me get these scissors.
00:41:19.000 So, on eBay it said it worked.
00:41:24.000 I mean, we did get something out of it, right?
00:41:25.000 Come on, you son of a... But you use it every day.
00:41:29.000 Yeah, I listen to it every day.
00:41:33.000 I can feel the plastic about to break when I pull on this goddamn thing.
00:41:38.000 Let me get the cassette.
00:41:39.000 Oh, that's not a good sound, is it?
00:41:41.000 This cassette looks like it's... Oh, the cassette's sort of leaking.
00:41:46.000 But it works fine.
00:41:49.000 Should I try another one?
00:41:50.000 What's this now?
00:41:53.000 Yeah, we've got... I do have more than one copy.
00:41:55.000 Can you plug it in again, Dave?
00:41:57.000 I'm going to do what I just said I wouldn't do.
00:42:02.000 So when you push it in now, you need a pair of scissors to open it up again.
00:42:07.000 All right, here we go.
00:42:11.000 Well, here, let me just press play with nothing in it.
00:42:14.000 Fuck!
00:42:18.000 Look at that.
00:42:21.000 All right, so now I'm not touching anything, and play is just going.
00:42:28.000 It can't stop.
00:42:30.000 So the stupidest thing I could possibly do would be to put a cassette in to this thing that's already spinning without anything in it.
00:42:38.000 Here we go!
00:42:38.000 Goddammit.
00:42:46.000 Fuck!
00:42:47.000 It's broken.
00:42:49.000 Thanks a lot, listeners at home.
00:42:51.000 You just broke my ghetto blaster.
00:42:53.000 I hope you're happy with yourself.
00:42:55.000 I hope you enjoyed your punk special, because you just broke my ghetto blaster.
00:43:00.000 Goodbye!
00:43:00.000 Hi, guys.
00:43:04.000 I'm better.
00:43:05.000 I'm better.
00:43:06.000 I'm sorry for yelling at you.
00:43:09.000 I'm a man and we take it out on other people.
00:43:11.000 Oh shit, I gotta go meet Milo in five minutes.
00:43:16.000 Meeting Milo Yiannopoulos for lunch.
00:43:17.000 I hope liberals don't scream us out of the restaurant.
00:43:20.000 But I did get it working now.
00:43:21.000 I had to reach in and push the thing down.
00:43:23.000 This is Leatherass Buttfuck, my other band.
00:43:36.000 That probably sounds like noise to you, right?
00:43:39.000 I hear it perfectly clear, because once is once.
00:43:42.000 Uh-oh.
00:43:56.000 Just like the vocals were on an echo machine and then the drum was a drum machine.
00:44:01.000 Shane Smith of Vice fame couldn't play guitar so he would just shake a guitar around and then there was one guitarist.
00:44:07.000 That was the whole band.
00:44:18.000 You know, I keep factoring this, hoping there'll be a song that isn't just a mess.
00:44:25.000 But that might be the selective memory we all have of our youth, where we go, we were a badass band, man.
00:44:31.000 We sounded like Godflesh.
00:44:34.000 But now I hear it, and it's just a man yelling at a computer.
00:44:51.000 Shut about nothing!
00:45:16.000 Gotta get inside, get myself some fish.
00:45:18.000 There's people that dream, there's people that wish.
00:45:21.000 Nothing!
00:45:23.000 This song's about nothing!
00:45:26.000 You make me scream and shout!
00:45:29.000 And this podcast is apparently about nothing.
00:45:31.000 Sorry, gotta go, bye.