Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 07, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #79 | It’s weird how the roles in a marriage naturally evolve.

Topics
old white men being married vs. not
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Drake Jesus Christ Ezra Levant Chelsea Handler Warren Farrell Jordan Peele Cory Booker Maximilian Lott Lauren Southern Chelsea Peretti Tommy Robinson Jakari Jackson Femke Jansen Sarah Zhang Charles Bronson-y Morgan Freeman Puerto Ricans George Brett LeBron James John Stossel and 24 more
Ep 181 | Treason | Get Off My Lawn Get Off My Lawn Podcast #80 | I’m thinking about getting a jean jacket

Episode Stats


Length

46 minutes

Words per minute

170.12

Word count

7,854

Sentence count

766

Harmful content

Misogyny

47

sentences flagged

Toxicity

248

sentences flagged

Hate speech

41

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, Peter Thiel joins me to talk about his new book, Hulk Hogan Takes a Shit, and how to deal with a guy who shits on the bathroom floor. Also, we talk about why you should never take a shit in a public bathroom, and why you shouldn t even be allowed to use the bathroom in public if you don t have a seatbelt. And we talk a lot of shit. It's a long episode, but it's a good one, and I think you're going to like it. If you don't, you're not going to want to miss this one, because it's good stuff. - Peter Thiel - Hulk Hogan Taking a Shit - How to Deal with a Shitty Person - What's the worst thing a guy can do in public? - Why you shouldn't have a bathroom stall - And why it's not a good idea - and how you should deal with people who shit on the floor - why you need a seat belt and why it s a good thing - how you need to be kinder than a human being - the difference between a woman and a man - what it means to be a good parent - a woman's role in a marriage - and the role a woman plays in your life - The role a man plays in the life of a woman why you can t be an animal And much more! Thanks to Peter Thiel for coming on the show, and for being a good friend of mine. - I hope you enjoy this episode, and that you enjoy it, and if you like it, please leave us a review on iTunes and tell me what you think of it if you liked it! - we'll be back next week with a friend of yours, please rate it on Insta: . Thank you for listening, I'll be looking out for you in the next one! xoxo, Sarah - Ryan - Rebel Media Media - Rebel - Sarah on Instapod - Thanks, Rebel Media - and I'll see you next week! - and we'll do it again next week - and maybe a little bit better next week - or maybe not a week or not so good, but maybe not so much, but we'll try to do it like that again next Tuesday - maybe next week, next Tuesday? thanks Rebel

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 It's weird how the roles in a marriage just sort of naturally evolve.
00:00:10.000 Like, I do all the driving.
00:00:13.000 I think men, we're big game, right?
00:00:14.000 Women are small game. 1.00
00:00:16.000 And both are equally important, by the way.
00:00:20.000 You just bring home a woolly mammoth every day and no one else does anything.
00:00:24.000 Actually, that wouldn't be that bad.
00:00:26.000 Isn't that an all-protein diet?
00:00:27.000 I've heard good things about that.
00:00:29.000 Those guys that eat only meat.
00:00:31.000 I think Dr. Drew said, I would be lying if I didn't say that eating nothing but meat, because he tried the diet, didn't make me feel amazing. 0.99
00:00:42.000 So maybe that's not the best analogy, but those kids would be fucked up. 0.95
00:00:45.000 If you were just a dad, and the kid stayed back in the cave, and you just brought home a woolly mammoth, and there was no mom there, 0.98
00:00:53.000 The kids would go insane.
00:00:54.000 They'd be animals. 0.99
00:00:56.000 Feral.
00:00:57.000 Did you know this about feral children, by the way?
00:00:59.000 You know what a feral child is?
00:01:00.000 Like a child that was raised by wolves?
00:01:02.000 Their brains rot.
00:01:05.000 So this whole idea of Tarzan, you know, Lord of the Jungle, and then they bring him to England and show him how to hold a coffee cup and to put his pinky out and what soup spoon to use? 1.00
00:01:13.000 Bullshit. 1.00
00:01:15.000 If you're raised by dogs, your brain atrophies, sort of like a smoker's lung. 1.00
00:01:21.000 They've done cat scans on feral children.
00:01:23.000 There hasn't been that many, obviously.
00:01:24.000 There's been about 13 in history.
00:01:27.000 But, um, they do cat scans and, uh, they see their brains are rotten.
00:01:34.000 Irreparable.
00:01:35.000 Beyond repair.
00:01:37.000 Big.
00:01:38.000 Gross. 0.94
00:01:39.000 They look like, uh, when your wife, who cooks, um, sort of, uh, bakes broccoli.
00:01:47.000 You ever have that?
00:01:48.000 No, is it broccoli?
00:01:49.000 Yeah.
00:01:50.000 Yeah, you cook broccoli until it's crispy.
00:01:53.000 Um, and sort of brown on the outsides.
00:01:56.000 On the tree part.
00:01:57.000 It's really good.
00:01:59.000 Anyway, that's what their brains look like. 0.99
00:02:03.000 So the big game, small game isn't a good analogy, because you don't really need to eat pigeons and rabbits as much as you need a big fucking cow. 0.99
00:02:11.000 But what else the moms do is they hug the kids. 1.00
00:02:16.000 Now, I've told this story before, so forgive me if you watched the Gavin McInnes Show and you've heard this a million times, but I think it's very important.
00:02:25.000 I was at the airport in St.
00:02:27.000 Martin. 0.99
00:02:28.000 And being a drunk, I was having, I think, my thirteenth shit of the day. 0.99
00:02:34.000 And, um, I'm in this stall, and it's just sort of dripping out. 0.98
00:02:37.000 It's just clear water at this point.
00:02:40.000 More like sort of frothy kind of a water.
00:02:42.000 I think it's bile. 0.99
00:02:44.000 But, uh, there's a kid next to me, and I can hear the father, and he's going, What the fuck is the matter with you? 1.00
00:02:50.000 Goddammit, you've got shit everywhere! 1.00
00:02:52.000 I don't think he said the word shit, but maybe he said poop. 1.00
00:02:56.000 And I was sort of getting kind of Charles Bronson-y about it and thinking, do I have to get involved here? 0.99
00:03:02.000 Like, do I have to say, hey, take it easy?
00:03:05.000 And it's not exactly a pugilist's vantage point to be sitting on a toilet.
00:03:11.000 And they go, hey buddy, you wanna hurt that kid?
00:03:14.000 You're gonna have to get through me. 0.99
00:03:15.000 I'll obviously have to wipe my ass and stand up and pull my pants up and then attach my belt, maybe go wash my hands. 0.98
00:03:22.000 But after that, you gotta talk to this guy. 0.99
00:03:25.000 Pick on someone your own size like this guy shitting right next to you behind a wall so you can only hear my voice and see my shoes and my pants crumpled up on top of my shoes. 0.83
00:03:35.000 But don't let that fool you. 1.00
00:03:37.000 I'm a big fucking dude. 0.99
00:03:39.000 You'd make your voice lower? 1.00
00:03:40.000 Hey buddy.
00:03:41.000 Hey! 0.99
00:03:42.000 You leave that kid alone. 0.75
00:03:44.000 I'm a huge guy. 1.00
00:03:46.000 I'm Hulk Hogan taking a shit. 0.99
00:03:49.000 That would be a good name for a book. 1.00
00:03:50.000 Hulk Hogan taking a shit. 1.00
00:03:52.000 And you just have Hulk Hogan on the cover taking a shit? 1.00
00:03:54.000 And then use that as a springboard to talk about philosophy and life and maybe his lawsuit and stuff. 0.99
00:04:01.000 Hey Hulk! 0.52
00:04:02.000 Hulkster! 0.71
00:04:03.000 Hey Peter Thiel!
00:04:04.000 If either of you guys are out there listening to this, that's a good book idea.
00:04:14.000 Not a good podcast idea.
00:04:15.000 Have a huge sip of coffee while you're talking so people can hear how your mouth works and your esophagus gulping.
00:04:23.000 I was teasing Ezra the other day, Ezra Levant at Rebel Media, because I think Ryan Ketsu Rivera, my producer, does a really good imitation of him.
00:04:31.000 So we were recording things.
00:04:33.000 I'm not doing good, Ezra, but I'll try.
00:04:40.000 Hi, I'm Ezra LeVant and women want me really bad. 1.00
00:04:46.000 Yeah, they do.
00:04:46.000 My only problem with it is I feel bad for them because there's not enough Ez to go around.
00:04:55.000 He didn't think it was funny.
00:04:56.000 He didn't think the imitation sounded like him.
00:04:57.000 I think he thought, because the first one I said, I make tons of money at these fundraisers, and I keep it all.
00:05:03.000 I spend most of it on coke.
00:05:05.000 But after I deviated my septum, I had to spend it on gambling.
00:05:08.000 And he was uncomfortable.
00:05:09.000 And he was like, not sure what you're doing here.
00:05:11.000 That's not my voice, but I'll play along.
00:05:14.000 I texted him later.
00:05:15.000 I go, dude, I am loyal to a fault. 0.99
00:05:17.000 I would never, ever fucking stab you in the back like that. 0.98
00:05:21.000 I would call you and say, what's going on? 1.00
00:05:22.000 You spend all the money.
00:05:25.000 I wouldn't ambush you.
00:05:28.000 But sorry, that whole tangent was to talk about when he was doing Tommy Robinson's fundraiser.
00:05:34.000 He usually keeps a normal amount for the infrastructure of raising funds.
00:05:38.000 You know, you got to make a website and it takes labor and money and it's fair to take a commission.
00:05:43.000 Not a big commission.
00:05:44.000 I don't know what he takes, but maybe he takes 5% or something and puts it back into the infrastructure of fundraising. 0.89
00:05:51.000 You know, American charities, I think they only have to give 20% to the person they're fundraising for, and they can keep fucking 80. 0.96
00:05:59.000 Charities are a racket. 0.63
00:06:02.000 That's one thing I hate about being in the Knights of Columbus, is so much of it is charity, charity, charity, and I feel like, have we vetted these guys?
00:06:10.000 I mean, we gave this one public school on the Lower East Side like 40 turkeys for Thanksgiving. 0.98
00:06:17.000 I'm such a dick. 0.99
00:06:18.000 I felt like saying, can we see the pay stubs of these people who I'm busting my ass to get a free turkey to? 1.00
00:06:25.000 And by busting my ass, I mean reaching in my wallet and taking out 20 bucks. 0.98
00:06:31.000 But anyway, when Ezra was saying, we're raising a lot of money for Tommy Robinson and 100% of it is going to his wife. 0.99
00:06:39.000 And you see him, he does an audible gulp after that because he's as cheap as me.
00:06:43.000 And he goes, and 100% of it will be going to his wife.
00:06:46.000 And then you just hear. 0.94
00:06:51.000 After I've watched it about a hundred times Anyway, sorry, that's like 32 tangents in one but um what I was talking about was The feral children the roles we play and how You need to oh, yeah, the kid shitting his pants. 0.96
00:07:11.000 So he's shitting his pants. 0.96
00:07:12.000 I mean he shat his pants He sharted his pants 0.98
00:07:15.000 And I can see the dad yelling at him and then I monitor the situation safely from my throne and I'm done and it never gets out of control. 0.97
00:07:24.000 I don't hear like Or anything crazy. 1.00
00:07:27.000 He's just very pissed off that he has to clean shit off his son's legs. 0.99
00:07:32.000 His son, by the way, sorry, major detail. 1.00
00:07:34.000 White guy, middle-class, the son was probably about
00:07:38.000 Six or seven.
00:07:40.000 And Dad was, you know, 30 years old.
00:07:44.000 32.
00:07:45.000 So he cleans off the legs.
00:07:46.000 Doesn't get any on his socks, thank the Lord.
00:07:48.000 Probably throws out his underwear. 0.99
00:07:50.000 Washes his butt, maybe by dipping some fresh toilet paper in the toilet water. 0.99
00:07:54.000 I know people freak out about that it's an airport bathroom. 0.99
00:07:57.000 It's not that bad.
00:07:58.000 It's getting replenished every thousands of times a day.
00:08:01.000 So it's pretty clean, relatively clean toilet water in an airport bathroom.
00:08:06.000 Especially a nice airport like St.
00:08:07.000 Martin.
00:08:10.000 Same with McDonald's coffee. 0.99
00:08:11.000 Everyone shits on McDonald's coffee. 0.99
00:08:13.000 I don't know why you go to Starbucks and wait in line to buy 30 cents of coffee for 7 bucks, you dupe. 0.99
00:08:20.000 McDonald's coffee is being- is selling so fast.
00:08:24.000 Same with bodega coffee.
00:08:25.000 That you're getting it the freshest it could possibly be.
00:08:28.000 It's like a running tap of coffee.
00:08:31.000 Anyway. 0.98
00:08:34.000 Cleaned the kid's butt, gave him his shorts back, and now he's underwear-less. 0.99
00:08:39.000 The dad's pissed off. 0.99
00:08:40.000 And then I- I- I watch his shoes.
00:08:43.000 Because I want to see where this goes.
00:08:45.000 So later on, I recognize the dad's shoes and the son's shoes, and they're actually at my gate.
00:08:50.000 Oh, okay.
00:08:51.000 And then I see the son, and the family sits back down, and the son goes to the mom, and he just sort of puts his head in the nape of her tit armpit area, and she holds him, and she's whispering in his ears or something, and the dad is still pissed.
00:09:08.000 And the dad's on his phone. 0.97
00:09:11.000 And he's just checking his fucking phone, probably looking at sports, trying to get his mind off it. 1.00
00:09:14.000 Because when your son does something really stupid and useless, you're mad, but you're also worried. 1.00
00:09:21.000 Like, is my son gonna become a pussy? 1.00
00:09:23.000 Or a moron? 1.00
00:09:24.000 Or a loser? 1.00
00:09:24.000 Or is he not a survivor? 1.00
00:09:26.000 I think my dad told me that when I moved out of the house maybe three years in, so I'd be like 21.
00:09:31.000 He goes, I was worried that you were not a survivor.
00:09:36.000 But you turned out to be a survivor.
00:09:39.000 So that's good.
00:09:40.000 I thought, wow.
00:09:42.000 You just figured this out at 21? 0.99
00:09:44.000 You gotta wait two decades to know if your son is a loser or not.
00:09:49.000 But if any good father, that's always haunting you in the back of your mind.
00:09:52.000 Is my son gonna be, you know, an independent, tough kid?
00:09:58.000 And so he's worried and mad at the same time.
00:10:00.000 And then you get mad that you're worried. 1.00
00:10:02.000 Like, you're a fucking wet fart. 1.00
00:10:04.000 Not only did I have to clean shit off, which I'm not bananas about, but now it's made me worried and mad, and now I'm mad that you made me worried. 1.00
00:10:12.000 That's a lot of fucking emotions you just gave me with one little... 0.98
00:10:17.000 And then the mom is like, it's okay, it's okay. 0.99
00:10:18.000 The mom doesn't care about the details. 1.00
00:10:21.000 Like, did he have some strange beans?
00:10:25.000 How long could he have held it in?
00:10:27.000 That's not the mom's job. 1.00
00:10:29.000 That's what I was getting at with the beginning of this podcast.
00:10:31.000 There's different roles.
00:10:32.000 And it's not like you sit there with a notepad saying, okay, we're getting married, we're having a baby.
00:10:38.000 These are the roles.
00:10:40.000 I'll drive, you cook.
00:10:42.000 Deal?
00:10:43.000 Deal.
00:10:44.000 No, you just- I- For me, cooking feels like doing ballet. 0.99
00:10:50.000 Like, I just- I'm just sitting there going, what the fuck am I doing here? 0.98
00:10:53.000 It just does not flow. 0.97
00:10:55.000 Driving, fixing the outsides of the house.
00:10:58.000 I feel like I'm at work at McKinnis Co.
00:11:02.000 Just, like, punching in- punching my card.
00:11:05.000 Solving problems.
00:11:06.000 Anyway.
00:11:07.000 Um. 1.00
00:11:09.000 So I realized, looking at that mom and that dad, going through that shit, that this was the perfect scenario. 1.00
00:11:17.000 They're both right. 1.00
00:11:19.000 Yes, you should not shit your pants. 0.98
00:11:24.000 Also, sometimes you shit your pants, and it's nice to get a hug, especially if you're a little kid. 0.99
00:11:31.000 Now, when I shit my pants, which is maybe once a year, as George Brett says, I'm good for those about once a year, uh, it's very unfortunate, but even then you're mad at yourself. 1.00
00:11:40.000 You're like, you fucking dummy. 1.00
00:11:42.000 You could tell that wasn't a normal fart. 1.00
00:11:44.000 Couldn't fucking sit down on the bowl for once, you dumbass. 1.00
00:11:48.000 Sometimes you're in public and you gotta take off your shoes and your pants to ball up your underwear and throw them in the garbage and you throw them wrapped in paper towels and you're walking around commando with your dick on the zipper of your fly, constantly petrified it's gonna get cut. 1.00
00:12:01.000 That's so mean to put a dick next to a zipper. 1.00
00:12:05.000 That's like putting a cow next to a butcher. 1.00
00:12:08.000 He's just sitting there next to his worst enemy, his darkest fear, and he has to just try to relax and sleep.
00:12:15.000 No thanks.
00:12:17.000 And you're just mad at yourself.
00:12:19.000 Then you get pee on your pants.
00:12:20.000 Now you got... The reason we have underwear, by the way, is so we don't have to wash our jeans every two minutes.
00:12:25.000 It's a disposable pee area.
00:12:29.000 So, you should be mad at yourself.
00:12:32.000 And then also, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself.
00:12:34.000 That's what moms and dads do. 1.00
00:12:37.000 They create the perfect balance.
00:12:40.000 And when you have a kid who is just with a single mom, you end up with rap music, which is me, me, me, I'm awesome. 0.98
00:12:50.000 If I shit my pants, I need a hug.
00:12:52.000 That's basically what all rap is. 0.99
00:12:54.000 It's me, me, me, me, me.
00:12:55.000 Check out, I was listening to, my kids listen to Drake all the time, because they're kids, all kids do.
00:13:02.000 And you can just hear the single mother in his lyrics.
00:13:15.000 Me, me, me.
00:13:21.000 Oh, am I allowed to do this on Westwood One?
00:13:26.000 She's the one for me.
00:13:28.000 And then there's another song where she goes, where he says, uh, uh, she said, do you love me?
00:13:33.000 I said, I only love my bed and my mommy.
00:13:38.000 Is that single mother kid in a nutshell? 0.91
00:13:42.000 You know, Ninja from Die Antwoord has a story about Drake, where I saw it, it came up in my YouTube recommendations.
00:13:48.000 It was Vice, and I rarely check out Vice, but it was really good.
00:13:51.000 And you can tell, like, people from South Africa, they've seen their friends get raped to death. 0.99
00:13:57.000 Oh, I ruined that fucking line. 1.00
00:13:58.000 People from South Africa, they've seen their friends get raped to death. 1.00
00:14:02.000 So, they don't take shit. 1.00
00:14:04.000 They've got balls. 1.00
00:14:06.000 And they don't have time for, you know, niceties. 0.99
00:14:10.000 So, Ninja saw Drake at a concert, and he liked his music, and then he saw him wearing his white sweatpants and his little white sneakers, all brand new, and he went, this guy's a figget! 1.00
00:14:24.000 And he tweeted out as much, but it wasn't really him saying that, it was a meme.
00:14:27.000 I don't know the meme, but there's something about homophobic slurs and Drake. 0.98
00:14:31.000 And so they had beef and they ended up, Kanye brought Ninja to Drake's house to play basketball and he's like, oh shit, that's the guy I called a figget. 1.00
00:14:39.000 And he goes, it was really weird there because they, he's playing basketball. 0.98
00:14:48.000 Oh my god, I can tell I'm making a South African's ears bleed. 1.00
00:14:51.000 They play in Biscuit Bowl and they film everything.
00:14:58.000 Sorry, I'm going to stop doing that.
00:14:59.000 They film everything.
00:14:59.000 So Drake plays basketball with his friends.
00:15:02.000 He's got a hype man going, oh shit nigga, that was awesome! 0.99
00:15:06.000 And, uh, he films it. 0.99
00:15:08.000 So he does these crazy moves, like a triple pirouette spin slam dunk.
00:15:13.000 And it never lands, but once in a blue moon he'll, like, jump off someone's back and do a slam dunk. 0.96
00:15:18.000 And Drake will take that one time and then make a montage to make it look like he's fucking LeBron James. 0.95
00:15:28.000 How juvenile can you get? 0.98
00:15:30.000 That's something, honestly, a 10-year-old would do.
00:15:34.000 I think an 11-year-old, you'd go, dude, what are you doing?
00:15:36.000 What is this, last year when you were 10?
00:15:39.000 But not a grown adult man.
00:15:41.000 And it's because all he got was the hugs.
00:15:45.000 Now Maximilian Lott, you know John Lott?
00:15:49.000 He did More Guns Less Crime.
00:15:50.000 Brilliant book about how the more guns, the more legal guns in a community, the safer it is.
00:15:57.000 Counterintuitive thinking, folks!
00:15:59.000 But it's true.
00:16:00.000 The left isn't capable of counterintuitive thinking.
00:16:03.000 Uh, schools are doing bad.
00:16:06.000 Pour more money on them.
00:16:07.000 That must work, right?
00:16:08.000 Children are our future.
00:16:10.000 Yeah, that sounds right.
00:16:11.000 It's not right.
00:16:12.000 Oh, there's a shooting!
00:16:13.000 Well, more gun laws will stop the shootings, right?
00:16:16.000 Yeah, that sounds right, but it's not right.
00:16:18.000 Anyway, his son, Maximilian Lott, cool name, I always wanted to name my kids that, but... Other names prevailed.
00:16:26.000 He just did this amazing video, I can't stop thinking about it.
00:16:28.000 It was actually on Stossel's.
00:16:30.000 Stossel does a video a week for a reason now.
00:16:33.000 I was on it, actually, it's coming out in a couple weeks.
00:16:35.000 And, uh... Actually, I'll just interrupt myself. 0.90
00:16:39.000 He was doing that thing he does where he's like, well, you're racist. 0.95
00:16:45.000 I mean, you need to be banned. 0.86
00:16:48.000 The things you say.
00:16:49.000 And he's playing that devil's advocate, you know what I mean?
00:16:54.000 And I go, tell me what I've said.
00:16:57.000 You know, I did my last 20 tweets, because he's doing a, sorry, this is a very jumbled up episode, I'll come back to the main point, but he's doing a thing on Big Tech and their collusion with the SPLC and the DNC and how Big Tech is censoring the right in an attempt to stop Trump's influence and stop him getting re-elected.
00:17:20.000 And so I'm a paramount example of that because I'm very pro-Trump and I'm popular and appealing and incredibly charming and funny and endearing and cuddly and they don't like that so they shut me down.
00:17:34.000 But he's bringing up, he's playing the devil's advocate, he's bringing up examples of things I've said.
00:17:38.000 And some of them are super harsh!
00:17:41.000 Like, he goes, he's not reading my tweets, he's reading things I've written, and he's taking them out of context.
00:17:48.000 But I'm not criticizing Stossel, he obviously gives me a chance to defend them, but he has to do the whole argument, you know?
00:17:53.000 And one of them was, poor Hispanics won't assimilate in this country. 1.00
00:17:59.000 They can't. 1.00
00:18:00.000 And I go, holy shit! 1.00
00:18:02.000 That's terrible! 1.00
00:18:05.000 And then I, can I see that?
00:18:06.000 And then I look at the quote and it's, I think I already talked about this on Get Off My Lawn, but it's from a movie called They Call Us Monsters about these two kids from El Salvador who were murdering people.
00:18:20.000 Ruthlessly, mercilessly.
00:18:22.000 And I was thinking, El Salvador is a war-torn shithole, where being ruthless and merciless and violent is a good thing. 1.00
00:18:29.000 You want your son to be that, because it's a war, so you want to raise warriors.
00:18:32.000 But they come here, and it's the opposite values.
00:18:34.000 We don't want you to slit someone's throat and feel nothing.
00:18:38.000 We don't even want you to slit someone's throat. 0.96
00:18:40.000 So I said, as I was watching this movie, I wonder if kids from these poor Hispanic countries are incompatible with America. 1.00
00:18:50.000 So the context is a pretty big deal there. 0.53
00:18:52.000 Because I'm talking about murderers from war countries. 1.00
00:18:56.000 And I said poor Hispanic countries because there was two kids from El Salvador and one I think from Nicaragua.
00:19:02.000 So to abbreviate I just said poor.
00:19:05.000 So you'd know I wasn't talking about like Brazil and Argentina and stuff.
00:19:11.000 And isn't it funny how we get this fine-tooth comb scrutiny here on the slightly right of center, where they'll pour through all the things you said, the hundreds of hours of stuff you said, and find something contentious, and go, yeah, but you said this. 0.99
00:19:25.000 Meanwhile, Sarah Jong can go, I want to kill all old white people. 1.00
00:19:29.000 I want old white men to die. 1.00
00:19:32.000 So specific. 1.00
00:19:32.000 Imagine you said that about black men. 1.00
00:19:34.000 Hey, I heard you hate black people. 1.00
00:19:36.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:19:36.000 I want all old black men to die. 1.00
00:19:41.000 What? 1.00
00:19:41.000 Like grandpas, those white afros, and they go see their grandkids on Father's Day? 1.00
00:19:46.000 Yeah, them. 0.98
00:19:47.000 Dead.
00:19:48.000 You mean like the old guy with the old gnarled fingers playing the blues?
00:19:52.000 Yeah, dead.
00:19:54.000 Morgan Freeman? 1.00
00:19:55.000 Fucking kill him now! 1.00
00:19:59.000 People go, that's really a weird kind of specific racism you got there. 1.00
00:20:04.000 Oh, it's not, it gets worse.
00:20:06.000 I want, I want Korean 1.00
00:20:09.000 Albinos from Tennessee also, I want them dead! 1.00
00:20:14.000 Now someone will take that out of context. 0.99
00:20:17.000 Like have you ever seen an interview with a black guy where the interviewer goes, are you racist? 0.99
00:20:21.000 Yet everyone on the new right, Dave Rubin, fucking Lauren Southern, even when I interviewed Lauren Southern, my bosses go, can we just get this out of the water? 0.99
00:20:30.000 Ask her if she's racist so she can explain and then, you know, we can at least get over that. 0.95
00:20:34.000 Cause that's on the back of everyone's mind when you, when you talk to her.
00:20:37.000 Jesus.
00:20:38.000 Okay.
00:20:38.000 Are you racist?
00:20:38.000 No, I'm not.
00:20:39.000 Okay, moving on.
00:20:42.000 Like, ask Don Lemon.
00:20:44.000 Ask Cory Booker. 0.99
00:20:47.000 Who thinks he's fucking a Spartan because he's freeing the slaves. 0.99
00:20:53.000 That's what he said the other day. 0.99
00:20:54.000 He said, I'm having an I Am Sparta moment.
00:20:56.000 Talking about a movie where the Egyptians, the slaves rose up.
00:21:03.000 But anyway.
00:21:04.000 So here's another quote I said.
00:21:07.000 And he goes, well, you've said much worse. 0.62
00:21:09.000 You've said, the world is filled with shoeless, toothless, inbred, hill-dwelling, rifle-toting, sodomy-prone men ready to kill for a god they've never seen. 0.67
00:21:20.000 I go, well, Jesus Christ.
00:21:23.000 You just made my hair white. 1.00
00:21:26.000 Now I want to kill me because I hate old white men. 1.00
00:21:29.000 You just made me look like an old white man. 1.00
00:21:30.000 Now Sarah Jong's going to have me killed. 1.00
00:21:32.000 Thanks a lot, Jon.
00:21:34.000 And I got him in.
00:21:36.000 I was kind of shocked by that.
00:21:37.000 I go, that's real vitriolic.
00:21:39.000 But I defended it and I said, yeah, I'm being hyperbolic and vitriolic, but why do we have to be so kind and careful about our words? 1.00
00:21:47.000 And they can just say, die cis scum. 0.99
00:21:50.000 And again, I go, can I see the context of that, please? 1.00
00:21:53.000 Because that sounds harsh.
00:21:55.000 Here's the entire context.
00:21:56.000 I know I sound like Lenny Bruce now, going over his court transcripts.
00:22:02.000 Though it's still the less favorite comedy target, you don't really see that many yokels walking around Appalachia barefoot with a shotgun, hoping a feuding neighbor doesn't pop out from that holler over yonder. 0.97
00:22:13.000 But, and then I said, the Muslim world is filled with shoeless, toothless, inbred, hill-dwelling, rifle-toting, sodomy prone men. 1.00
00:22:19.000 These are all hillbilly adjectives. 1.00
00:22:21.000 Ready to kill for a God they've never seen. 0.99
00:22:23.000 Next sentence. 0.99
00:22:24.000 They even have their own Hatfields and McCoys.
00:22:26.000 They're called Sunnis and Shiites. 0.75
00:22:28.000 So the context of the whole quote is, it's ironic because
00:22:34.000 The context is, you can make fun of these white hillbillies, but I got hillbillies over here.
00:22:39.000 But you only focus on the white hillbillies.
00:22:41.000 And then in the quote, that's exactly what happened.
00:22:44.000 We focus just on the egregious insulting of the Muslim world, yet the hillbilly thing is taken out of it. 1.00
00:22:55.000 And that just keeps happening again and again.
00:22:57.000 And I'm at the point now where I go, yeah, I doubt, I doubt they said that.
00:23:02.000 You know?
00:23:03.000 Like when you hear, this person is wanted for hate crimes. 0.99
00:23:07.000 They said fag and beat up a gay guy. 0.99
00:23:09.000 And you're like, I bet that's not what happened. 0.99
00:23:12.000 I've always said that the news has become a homework assignment now.
00:23:16.000 Where it's stories to look up.
00:23:19.000 Stories to see what happened.
00:23:22.000 But anyway, sorry.
00:23:24.000 So back to Drake.
00:23:27.000 These songs are all about me and feelings, and Maxim Lott did a video on Stossel's show.
00:23:34.000 It's really good.
00:23:35.000 You've got to look it up here.
00:23:35.000 I'll see if I can find the title now.
00:23:38.000 Stossel, Mom's Video, Parents, Dad's Reason, Dad's Needed by John Stossel.
00:23:50.000 That's an article.
00:23:54.000 Ah, how government caused the boy crisis.
00:23:57.000 There we go.
00:23:59.000 And it's, it's, they interviewed this guy Warren Farrell.
00:24:01.000 So the video to look it up, it's called Stossel, colon.
00:24:06.000 That's a funny word, isn't it?
00:24:09.000 If we had a bigger vocabulary in grade school, we could have had a lot more laughs.
00:24:13.000 Okay guys, today we're going to work on the colon and the semicolon.
00:24:16.000 And you're like, is a semicolon when you have a colostomy bag?
00:24:20.000 Is that the hole that goes into your colostomy bag?
00:24:25.000 No, that's called a substitute colon. 0.96
00:24:29.000 Anyway, there's this guy Warren Farrell.
00:24:31.000 He wrote a book called The Boy Crisis.
00:24:33.000 By the way, he gets protested everywhere he goes.
00:24:36.000 He used to be a feminist and then he realized, wait a minute, single moms are bad for kids because you only get one side of the argument. 1.00
00:24:43.000 You only get the woman saying it's okay to shit your pants. 1.00
00:24:45.000 Next thing you know, you're shitting your pants. 1.00
00:24:47.000 Next thing you know, 1.00
00:24:49.000 You're cumming in a woman and making a baby without a second thought. 1.00
00:24:55.000 Which is exactly like pooing your pants. 0.99
00:24:57.000 Because you talk to guys who can't pull out and they go, it just feels good, man. 1.00
00:25:02.000 I can't pull out.
00:25:04.000 And I go, yeah, but pooing your pants feels good too.
00:25:07.000 But then there's consequences.
00:25:09.000 And you realize that wasn't worth it.
00:25:11.000 Now I got to deal with this.
00:25:13.000 By the way, sorry babies, but you're soiled underpants in this metaphor. 1.00
00:25:19.000 That's not a very flattering metaphor.
00:25:20.000 It's okay, they're babies.
00:25:21.000 They don't listen to this podcast.
00:25:22.000 I'm babyist.
00:25:24.000 So yeah, Warren Farrell wrote this book, The Boy Crisis, and he talks about how women teach you as a little boy that you matter, your feelings matter, you're a great person.
00:25:38.000 In fact, on that Drake song I played earlier, one of the lines is, last name ever, first name greatest.
00:25:47.000 Hi, my name's Greatest Ever.
00:25:48.000 All right, your self-esteem is good.
00:25:50.000 We got that.
00:25:51.000 Now, Drake is half black, half Jewish white. 0.62
00:25:54.000 His mom raised him in Toronto.
00:25:55.000 I heard he would spend the summers with his dad in the South, which is where he got his Southern credibility and all his cool rap slang and why he's allowed to talk not like a Canadian, but like a Southern black dude.
00:26:06.000 I don't buy it.
00:26:07.000 He probably went down like a couple summers, but decided to really milk it and be like, I'm basically half Southern black dude, half Jewish white guy.
00:26:15.000 No, I think you're like 95% white Jewish guy from Toronto, Canadian, 5% black dude, but you've decided to really capitalize on the black part. 0.74
00:26:27.000 All people do that.
00:26:28.000 All mixed race, I'm working so hard not to say the word mulatto, all people of 50% color,
00:26:38.000 They get abandoned by their black dad, raised by the white mom, and then all they talk about is how black they are.
00:26:44.000 Like Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys.
00:26:46.000 Or Jordan Peele.
00:26:50.000 Is that the guy who did Get Out?
00:26:53.000 I always get them confused, Key and Peele.
00:26:57.000 Yeah, Jordan Peele. 0.98
00:26:58.000 Grew up white as a ghost. 0.92
00:27:00.000 Cory Booker! 0.98
00:27:01.000 Cory Booker grew up with black parents, yes, but he grew up in a totally white neighborhood. 0.70
00:27:05.000 But he wants to be black, because that's cool, so he invented an invisible friend named T-Bone. 0.89
00:27:13.000 Yeah, it reminds me of when I was hanging out with my boy T-Bone.
00:27:16.000 And then blacks in the northeast, like in Jersey and New York, and they go, yeah, we don't really call each other T-Bone.
00:27:23.000 Like maybe Cash Money would be a nickname, or Cash, but T-Bone is more of a southern black thing, so you're lying, dude.
00:27:30.000 No, man, I can't find him right now, yo.
00:27:32.000 But T-Bone's around, man.
00:27:34.000 He's a free spirit. 1.00
00:27:37.000 Fucking phony. 1.00
00:27:38.000 White phony. 1.00
00:27:40.000 Anyway... So, uh... Yeah, Drake has just done the coddling.
00:27:47.000 And this guy, Warren Farrell, he talks about how it is crucial to have a mom.
00:27:53.000 You need a mom. 0.90
00:27:54.000 Because they tell you you're the greatest ever.
00:27:56.000 They make you feel good. 0.97
00:27:57.000 You realize that everyone shits their pants. 0.94
00:27:59.000 And that's the way life is.
00:28:02.000 Sure, there's consequences, but your dad can tell you about those.
00:28:05.000 And then there's no dad.
00:28:07.000 So you end up with this very me, me, me kind of mentality where your feelings matter.
00:28:12.000 And in the Stossel video, he goes, so you go, I matter.
00:28:18.000 I'm important.
00:28:22.000 My feelings are important.
00:28:23.000 And then your father goes, okay, you done with that?
00:28:25.000 You got that?
00:28:26.000 All right, let me tell you some other things.
00:28:28.000 Other people's feelings also matter, especially within this family.
00:28:32.000 My feelings matter.
00:28:33.000 My dad.
00:28:34.000 I mean, me here, dad.
00:28:35.000 Your mother's feelings matter.
00:28:36.000 Your sibling's feelings matter.
00:28:38.000 And now let's expand to the community.
00:28:41.000 Your community matters.
00:28:42.000 Your culture matters.
00:28:43.000 Your people matter.
00:28:45.000 And then you start, you know, getting a sense of that.
00:28:48.000 You realize that you get a sense of selflessness.
00:28:50.000 And when your mother says, you know, always stand up for yourself, you go, got it.
00:28:53.000 And then your dad says, always stand up for your family, your community.
00:28:56.000 Always stand up for your values.
00:28:58.000 And he sort of expands it.
00:29:00.000 So you sort of have both.
00:29:02.000 You know, it's like a cop.
00:29:04.000 You have the training to defend yourself, but then you also
00:29:08.000 Are taught to go out and help the community and make sure everyone else is okay.
00:29:12.000 Being a single mom, it's just like a cop that never leaves the police academy. 0.62
00:29:18.000 Just constantly training, training, training.
00:29:20.000 Making sure he's okay.
00:29:21.000 Making sure he's okay.
00:29:22.000 Never actually doing any police work.
00:29:24.000 I mean, listen to this song.
00:29:40.000 Me, me, me.
00:29:41.000 No one can hold a candle to me.
00:29:42.000 I know all these famous people, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:44.000 Basically, just... You know, I lived in Williamsburg for about ten years, and that's a Puerto Rican neighborhood.
00:29:50.000 Hasidic Jews and Puerto Ricans, which is quite a combo.
00:29:53.000 But you'd just be walking down the street, and you'd see a young man, thirteen, who's had his hair cut.
00:29:59.000 They seem to get haircuts.
00:30:01.000 Hispanic New Yorkers seem to get haircuts every four or five days.
00:30:06.000 Redoing their fade.
00:30:08.000 And it's mathematically perfect.
00:30:11.000 And then there's just a kid there, 16, getting a mani-pedi.
00:30:15.000 Just getting his toes did.
00:30:16.000 You know, they were getting, obviously not colors, not a fag, but just getting the cuticles pushed back and a nice little sort of sheen, getting my toes done, yep. 0.60
00:30:25.000 Yeah, I'll be there in a bit, I gotta get my toes done.
00:30:28.000 Now, a dad's supposed to smack you upside the head and go, you got your what done?
00:30:33.000 You're not even supposed to have seen your toes!
00:30:35.000 Men don't have toes! 1.00
00:30:40.000 But they don't get that.
00:30:41.000 So they just get 50% of it.
00:30:42.000 They just get the me, my feelings, my feelings.
00:30:45.000 And the reason that I was so interested in this, because I've started noticing, my wife and I, the roles we have.
00:30:50.000 Like, we went on this road trip, the vacation, and I did 100% of the driving, which sucks sometimes.
00:30:56.000 Like, I hate anything over five hours.
00:31:00.000 Six hours, you just start to, you want to kill yourself. 0.99
00:31:02.000 It's so fucking boring. 1.00
00:31:04.000 And I can't listen to something like a podcast that I would want to listen to, because of all the fucks and shits and stuff. 0.99
00:31:10.000 And I also don't want to put something in my ears, because my wife's sitting right there. 1.00
00:31:13.000 That's rude.
00:31:15.000 So just, bvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
00:31:32.000 Um, and then we get to our destination.
00:31:36.000 And it's my my job.
00:31:38.000 I just know it's my job, but I have more upper body strength, right?
00:31:40.000 It's my job to get all the luggage out of the van and into the thing with the bell hop, right?
00:31:46.000 And then I may I'm the one who tips the bell hop when we get it up there.
00:31:51.000 I don't know.
00:32:09.000 What if the kids are hungry?
00:32:10.000 That's not my department.
00:32:12.000 She has to make sure they're fed.
00:32:14.000 She has to make sure they're clothed.
00:32:15.000 I make sure that she has money for clothes.
00:32:18.000 I make sure there's a health- that's another good one, a health plan.
00:32:22.000 In America, it's really tricky to make sure you're on a health plan.
00:32:25.000 If you were to just pay cash, like, sign me up!
00:32:28.000 It's like 3,000 bucks a month.
00:32:29.000 So you have to get on some sort of program where it's a doohickey and a thingamabobber and you pay into this thingamajoodle.
00:32:36.000 It takes a long time to set up and to find one that works for you with doctors. 1.00
00:32:39.000 It's a fucking huge pain in the ass. 0.99
00:32:40.000 Usually just find someone who did all their research. 1.00
00:32:43.000 I just asked Ann Coulter who painstakingly researched it for months and said, I'll just do what you did.
00:32:49.000 But um, that's my job.
00:32:52.000 But to make sure she like she's it's not her job to make sure I'm fed.
00:32:56.000 That's not her problem.
00:32:57.000 I usually just eat the scraps of the kids don't finish.
00:33:00.000 But if you know, I, that's definitely part of it.
00:33:05.000 Like when we're at home, it's her job to cook for the family.
00:33:08.000 And that obviously includes me.
00:33:10.000 But like say I have a late lunch or say I have to go to a meeting that's... Why am I telling you that?
00:33:15.000 You can clearly assume that my wife doesn't constantly call me saying, did you have lunch? 0.99
00:33:21.000 Are you okay, sweetheart?
00:33:23.000 She's not your mama. 1.00
00:33:25.000 But after seeing that video, the Stossel video about dads, I've just sort of been monitoring our behavior in the house and how I've realized that I handle pretty much everything
00:33:38.000 Outside of the house.
00:33:39.000 The only thing I handle inside the house is big stuff like, uh, repairs and... The temperature is the man's job.
00:33:47.000 The thermostat is a big fucking deal. 0.98
00:33:50.000 I'm also the corrections officer. 0.99
00:33:52.000 I'm the CEO of Screen Jail.
00:33:54.000 So I monitor that.
00:33:55.000 But now that I have my lockbox, all the screens are in there, I can kind of relax Monday to Thursday with the screens.
00:34:00.000 But my job is to make sure the house never goes below 68 and never goes above 80.
00:34:07.000 That's a cheapskate's range.
00:34:10.000 So, I check the weather.
00:34:11.000 I say, oh, it's not that bad outside right now.
00:34:15.000 It's 79 or 80, but tomorrow says 92, so I'm not saving any money by turning it off until tomorrow, so I might as well get things cooking now, and we'll get it down to maybe 75 in the house, and we'll ride this heatwave out.
00:34:28.000 And then I'm checking the weather.
00:34:29.000 We had a huge thunderstorm yesterday.
00:34:31.000 Okay, thunderstorm.
00:34:32.000 Heat's broken.
00:34:33.000 AC's going off as the thunderstorm is raging.
00:34:37.000 Now, I'm saving pennies here, but that's not the point.
00:34:40.000 The point is, I'm just fulfilling my role as the climatologist of the house.
00:34:45.000 And same with outside. 0.71
00:34:46.000 Oh, the garbage guy hasn't been here in a while.
00:34:48.000 That's my job.
00:34:49.000 I wonder, is he mad at me?
00:34:51.000 Did I park, oh, I probably parked too close to the garbage thing and he can't get in.
00:34:54.000 All right, reverse the car out.
00:34:56.000 And also, look up the hours of the local dump, because if he doesn't come today, all our things are full.
00:35:03.000 I gotta go take it to the,
00:35:04.000 Is this boring you, by the way?
00:35:06.000 I find it interesting, because no one's ever... My wife and I have never discussed this.
00:35:11.000 It would never occur to her to handle the garbage.
00:35:13.000 Recycling, I handle all that, make sure it's the right day.
00:35:17.000 Wednesdays is the big garbage bags, and I've talked to the guys about that.
00:35:20.000 I'm the one who sets up the landscaping guys who come by and work on the flower bed or whatever.
00:35:26.000 It's interesting how these rules happen.
00:35:28.000 There's some gray areas, too.
00:35:31.000 Well, you're not sure.
00:35:32.000 Like, for that van, that's kind of a man's job to choose what van you're going to rent for the trip, but it's also kind of not.
00:35:39.000 I'll drive a Model T Ford.
00:35:43.000 Or yesterday, for example, my son had a baseball practice.
00:35:48.000 Without a second thought, it's just given that I'm going to drive him, drop him off, go pick him up, go get the kids McDonald's on the way back.
00:35:56.000 That's all my job.
00:35:58.000 But it's her job to make sure we don't have McDonald's too much.
00:36:01.000 Like, if we were to eat fast food two days in a row, my wife will have failed. 1.00
00:36:05.000 I wouldn't say anything, but my wife will have failed. 1.00
00:36:06.000 I saw this fucking ridiculous Chelsea Peretti video about not being married, which gets, it's like, cool when you're 25 to say, I'm never getting married. 0.99
00:36:16.000 When you're however old she is, like 42, and she goes, ha ha, I'm not married. 0.99
00:36:21.000 You go, yeah, that's really sad.
00:36:24.000 Like, Femke Jansen, my wife made me take this Instagram post down, but Femke Jansen had a big birthday party for her dog, Licorice, because he made it to 18. 0.76
00:36:34.000 So she's got all these balloons for this poor, dying mutt with one eye. 1.00
00:36:39.000 And she never wanted kids, and she's so happy to celebrate her birthday with this sad, pathetic loser. 1.00
00:36:45.000 Just like Chelsea, lately, Chelsea, no, oh shit, I said Chelsea Peretti. 1.00
00:36:49.000 What's her name? 0.99
00:36:50.000 Chelsea Handler? 1.00
00:36:52.000 Shit. 1.00
00:36:53.000 I love Chelsea Peretti. 1.00
00:36:54.000 She's awesome. 0.83
00:36:57.000 Chelsea Handler.
00:36:58.000 Yeah, Chelsea Handler.
00:36:59.000 Sorry, Peretti.
00:37:01.000 Chelsea Handler is sitting there, and she's ordering Thai, and she's got some butler, I think, in the video, and it's an ad for her show, and she says, you know, when you're not married, you get to order whatever you want, eat whenever you want, and eat whatever you want.
00:37:15.000 And I'm watching it going, yeah lady, that's called being married too. 0.70
00:37:20.000 If I came home and my wife said, oh, I've had a rough day, I don't feel like cooking, let's just order Thai.
00:37:25.000 What do you think 99% of dads across the country are gonna do? 1.00
00:37:30.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:37:31.000 No way, Buster Brown. 1.00
00:37:33.000 We're not getting Thai tonight. 0.99
00:37:35.000 You're getting at that, you get to that stove and you make me some motherfucking spaghetti. 0.99
00:37:40.000 Now! 1.00
00:37:42.000 Cook him some fucking eggs, woman! 1.00
00:37:44.000 As the Maori said in the movie Once Were Warriors? 1.00
00:37:48.000 No.
00:37:48.000 Obviously.
00:37:50.000 All men. 0.93
00:37:51.000 Go.
00:37:51.000 Yeah, okay.
00:37:52.000 I'm gonna tie it.
00:37:53.000 I don't care.
00:37:56.000 It's like when when Stossel said are you racist?
00:37:59.000 I felt like I had a big long thing planned But I didn't say it because he's into like sentence sentence sentence sentence everyone gets five seconds But I was gonna say all right.
00:38:09.000 Let's just break this down. 0.96
00:38:10.000 What the fuck does that mean? 1.00
00:38:12.000 That you don't like black people so 1.00
00:38:16.000 There's a Mets fan who loves the same shows you do. 0.96
00:38:20.000 Blackadder, Strangers with Candy, Mr. Show.
00:38:25.000 He loves the movie With Neil and I. He loves the movie Husbands and Wives by Woody Allen.
00:38:30.000 He loves the movie Animal House is Paramount.
00:38:33.000 That's the top movie ever.
00:38:35.000 And he's at the same bar I'm at. 0.99
00:38:38.000 Oh, hey, there's that guy, Dwayne Jackson, who likes all the shit I like. 0.99
00:38:44.000 Uh, hey man, how's it going? 0.99
00:38:45.000 Dwayne says to me.
00:38:46.000 And I, the racist, go, whatever.
00:38:50.000 And turn away.
00:38:52.000 What percentage of the people are like that?
00:38:56.000 A totally irrelevant fraction.
00:38:59.000 The Klan is like that.
00:39:01.000 Yeah, the Klan.
00:39:02.000 Jesus Christ.
00:39:05.000 I have heard so much about this tiny group. 0.99
00:39:08.000 There's probably a book club in fucking Dallas that has more members than the Ku Klux Klan. 0.97
00:39:16.000 Yeah, imagine some innocuous woman's book club called the Red Hat Ladies dominating entire conversations for entire elections. 1.00
00:39:24.000 Oh yeah, well the Red Hot Ladies are having a march. 1.00
00:39:27.000 Red Hot Ladies, they got real sexy real fast, right? 1.00
00:39:30.000 They went from hat to hot in three cots and a tot.
00:39:35.000 No, it's three hots and a cot is what they call prison.
00:39:38.000 And it's the royal... Now they're the royal hat ladies? 1.00
00:39:41.000 Jesus Christ, my brain sucks. 1.00
00:39:43.000 Anyway. 1.00
00:39:46.000 And then this... So there's a free market of social interaction where people just... People are selfish.
00:39:52.000 So if someone is gonna make a good pal or a good neighbor, they want them over.
00:39:56.000 Now I would even argue in America, there's an extra thing where people want a black friend.
00:40:01.000 Like at my local bar, this black guy, he was a UPS guy, he just comes into the bar and has his lunch, uses a microwave, and has a Gatorade. 1.00
00:40:10.000 Doesn't order shit. 0.99
00:40:12.000 But the less black people you have in a community, the more you cherish them. 1.00
00:40:15.000 And the owners are just like, yay! 0.97
00:40:18.000 A black person is in my bar! 0.94
00:40:20.000 That's so cool!
00:40:22.000 They have another guy that gives free booze.
00:40:25.000 He's been there.
00:40:26.000 He's been a regular for like 30 years and I guess after 30 years you get free drinks. 0.98
00:40:31.000 So the idea that someone has this blinder on, they're going to deny themselves a person because they're a race, is ridiculous. 0.99
00:40:42.000 And then they say, well what about these white bitches who call the cops on some black guy in a swimming pool? 1.00
00:40:47.000 That's called a cunt. 1.00
00:40:49.000 And she annoys a million people. 1.00
00:40:51.000 She tells me my kids are too loud.
00:40:53.000 She's staring at me because of my tattoos.
00:40:55.000 She's called an annoying busybody who has a maid and an au pair and doesn't do any work, so she's directing all her energy to policing everyone else. 1.00
00:41:05.000 So yes, she is annoying to those black people. 1.00
00:41:07.000 She's also annoying to us. 1.00
00:41:09.000 We hate her too.
00:41:11.000 And then they go, what about the free market? 0.99
00:41:15.000 They don't hire black people. 1.00
00:41:18.000 Really? 0.99
00:41:18.000 So there's a resume where a guy sees a black dude who's going to make the company tons of money and he goes, yeah, sorry, I don't want Negroes in my shop. 0.99
00:41:29.000 So despite the fact that this guy is going to help perpetuate a net,
00:41:35.000 And give me more money, make my- and even in HR, when you get bigger companies, the HR guy would go, so, this guy's gonna do great, I'm gonna be a hero, because his resume is amazing, he's a good accountant, he saves companies money, he's not asking for that much in a salary, so I'll be a- I'll get points for hiring him.
00:41:51.000 Nope.
00:41:52.000 Not doing it.
00:41:53.000 Sorry.
00:41:54.000 I'm going to deny my company profits.
00:41:59.000 No, it's institutionalized.
00:42:01.000 It's deeper than that. 1.00
00:42:02.000 Oh, fuck off. 1.00
00:42:04.000 Yeah, it's a virus floating through the air. 1.00
00:42:09.000 It's microaggressions.
00:42:11.000 You know, when you say something is micro, it means it's small, right?
00:42:14.000 In other words, it's not a problem.
00:42:16.000 Like, they say, oh, there's microaggressions.
00:42:18.000 This Asian guy, people ask him if he's good at math. 0.99
00:42:21.000 Do you have any idea the kind of bullshit tall people have to go through? 0.99
00:42:27.000 Every, like they say, black people go, someone touched my hair. 1.00
00:42:30.000 Some 80 year old touched your hair because she thought it was a hundred years ago and she's a dumb crazy lady. 1.00
00:42:35.000 Leave her alone. 1.00
00:42:35.000 It's not a big deal. 1.00
00:42:39.000 Tall people, people over 6'3", every single day of their life they get asked if they play basketball.
00:42:44.000 Every single day of their life they get asked how tall they are.
00:42:47.000 Especially someone who's crazy tall like 6'7".
00:42:50.000 I'm 6'7".
00:42:52.000 I did play basketball in high school.
00:42:54.000 I do not play it anymore.
00:42:55.000 I wasn't good enough to make any money at it.
00:42:58.000 But now I work at a book publisher's downtown.
00:43:03.000 And yes, airplanes are uncomfortable for me.
00:43:06.000 I do not have a basketball on me at the time.
00:43:08.000 I haven't played it in a long time.
00:43:09.000 But I was above average as a player because I am tall.
00:43:12.000 Yes, thank you.
00:43:13.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 0.98
00:43:15.000 It pains me to be around tall people because I'm just waiting for someone to ask that fucking question and I have to go ball them out. 0.99
00:43:21.000 It's just so rude. 0.98
00:43:23.000 But anyway, the tall guy gets over it and no one talks about tall rights and tallism.
00:43:29.000 You just, you gotta put on your big boy pants and accept that there's gonna be microaggressions.
00:43:32.000 Jesus Christ, New York is nothing but microaggressions. 0.99
00:43:36.000 The trains, the hot subway, it's just constantly people being a dick. 0.99
00:43:43.000 I got mad there. 0.97
00:43:45.000 But anyway, once you sort of red pill yourself with this mom and dad thing, it is amazing.
00:43:54.000 And I think this is God's plan.
00:43:56.000 God's plan.
00:43:57.000 I think it's God's plan, to paraphrase Drake, that we naturally adhere to these big game, small game rules.
00:44:07.000 It's much like the cave days.
00:44:09.000 And it builds good humans.
00:44:11.000 It builds a human who avoids shitting his pants, but doesn't beat himself up when that inevitably happens occasionally. 0.99
00:44:18.000 Let's give you, you're allowed to shit your pants once a year, starting now. 1.00
00:44:22.000 Twice a year, get your shit together, literally. 1.00
00:44:27.000 Anyway, um, that's it. 0.99
00:44:30.000 That's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him.
00:44:32.000 What's that from?
00:44:33.000 That's from a, uh, a show I used to watch as a kid in the 70s.
00:44:39.000 Oh, now that's gonna bug me.
00:44:42.000 That's good night from him, and that's good night from me.
00:44:50.000 And that was... good night from me, good night from him.
00:44:54.000 That's all we've got time for this evening, so it's good night from me, and it's good night from him.
00:44:57.000 Good night.
00:45:00.000 The two Ronnies. 0.92
00:45:01.000 That's what that was.
00:45:03.000 Isn't the internet amazing?
00:45:05.000 Normally that would bug me for two days, and I'd have to call my dad or something.
00:45:09.000 What show did we watch in the 70s?
00:45:12.000 But please go to CRTV.com and sign up.
00:45:14.000 Thank you, by the way, to Twitter for banning me because subscriptions have been shooting through the roof.
00:45:19.000 I'm sure Alex Jones wants to also thank you for making InfoWars the number one app on the internet and making him five million dollars in new subscribers from the ban. 0.96
00:45:31.000 It's like Twitter said, stop giving your shit away for free, make people pay for it. 0.79
00:45:36.000 Alright Jack, maybe after this podcast gets banned we can see another surge. 1.00
00:45:45.000 Ladies, I know you can raise a child on your own. 1.00
00:45:48.000 I know it's possible, and I know the government will help you pull it off.
00:45:52.000 That ignores the child's rights.
00:45:55.000 You probably were raised with a single mom, so you focus too much on your own emotions as well.
00:46:01.000 But divorce and being a single mom, it may be okay for you.
00:46:06.000 It's bad for the kid. 0.99
00:46:08.000 We need to be mad at ourselves when we shit our pants. 0.99