On the 9/11 anniversary of the attacks on the U.S. buildings in New York City, I thought of a terrible thing: what if someone else was behind the attacks, and it wasn't a random act of terror? And I wonder if it could have been an act of random terrorism, and why we're not more angry about it, or more angry at the way people distance themselves from it. And then I think of something else, and wonder if the attacks could have happened in the 70s, or in the 80s, and how many people would have done the same thing, and what would we have done about it. I also talk about a bunch of other things, but that's not really what this episode is about, is it? It's about the idea that we should all be angry about something that happened on our soil, and about the people who didn't do anything about it and about how we should be mad at them for not being angry enough about it or about how people aren't angry enough to do something about it or about the fact that we don't get a pass for being angry at them or that they don't do enough to protest it or something like that. And I talk about the Transformers convention I went to in Vegas and how tired I am and how my arms are in a weird way and I don't think that's a bad thing, but it's not a bad, and I think it's a good thing And it's funny that I don t care about that I'm tired and I just don't have arms. . Thank you so much for listening to this episode, I hope you like it, and that you'll listen to it, I really appreciate it, it really does get better next week, I love you, I'll see you next week. - Tom and I will try to make it next week! Tom - Brian Matt Brian - Jeff Ben - Ben Jack Sarah David Josh Jake Mike Tim Evan Mark Dan John Michael Chris Chad Matthew Jacob Kevin Julian Will Andrew Joe Paul Justin James Chett Steve Daniel Patrick
Transcript
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00:00:08.000Soccer hooligans, when you go to the UK to a Tommy Robertson rally, all those old chavs with the Fred Perrys and the Adidas, they got jean jackets.
00:00:31.000But people in the community, in the fashion community, the rules community, say you can only wear blue denim right up to 30 and then after, I think it's 55, but not in between 30 and 55.
00:01:46.000Felt like I could throw a golf ball at it.
00:01:50.000Um, maybe if I had thrown a golf ball just with the perfect trajectory I could have hit the pilot's window.
00:01:58.000Here's a terrible thought that I shouldn't be saying on this anniversary, but do you ever think, how did you guys hijack a plane with carpet cutters?
00:02:06.000Could have this been a bystander's effect where we always think someone else is going to do it?
00:02:12.000Could the success of those attacks be linked to this sort of passive mentality we're encouraged to have when it comes to violence, the fear of offending people?
00:02:25.000Could- would it have happened in the 70s?
00:02:27.000And I'd like to apologize, right now, for bringing up that notion on September 11th.
00:02:32.000Sounds like I'm blaming the victims, and it's a fucking disgusting thing, but... That's the thing about wondering, you're allowed to wonder.
00:02:41.000And, uh, it was an incredible attack on our soil.
00:02:59.000And, uh, I've got miles and miles and miles of things I've said about this day.
00:03:07.000Including the guys I saw on the roof across from my friend's house going, yeah, bomb that shit, nigga!
00:03:16.000So you can dig that up, but suffice to say it was a moment that polarized the world.
00:03:21.000It politicized me and Anthony Comey and Pamela Geller and millions of other people, and it woke us up to the fact that Islam is different from other religions.
00:04:20.000But the funny thing about that is they'd all be sitting on a table, not laughing, just staring at the table, sort of stroking their chins, going, I just can't, okay, I got it, I got it, I just came back, and then they would say whatever it was.
00:04:32.000I don't think anything could beat the Transformers one.
00:05:15.000I just got back from the last days of the Jim Jones cult, and boy are my arms tired.
00:05:21.000Anyway, he draws it out for much longer, and with that voice, it's a lot better.
00:05:28.000But yeah, we have this thing called West Fest, which is kind of, it's linked to what I opened the show with because, or not the jean jacket, but the September 11th, because we choose to go to Vegas on September 11th, or the closest Saturday therein, and just fucking give her.
00:06:15.000So I flew down there, Friday night, I'm guest editing Penthouse Australia, and having not edited a magazine for 10 years, I forgot how much work it is.
00:06:23.000So I fly down there, I want Mercedes Carrera to be the cover, and I want to mimic the Donald Trump Playboy cover, with me wearing a tuxedo and her wearing my jacket.
00:06:33.000I'd made the inside total 80s look, like my ideal women, which is the lace short ankle socks, high heel shoes, lace fingerless gloves, you know, sideways ponytails, all that shit.
00:06:47.000All that accelerator girls, like from the ZZ Top video.
00:07:18.000Because around two o'clock the groups lose their cohesion and there's like five guys at this hotel, four guys at this hotel, blah blah blah blah.
00:07:34.000He made a costume of dreads and a giant black crown, and made two big banners that he brought on stage with him that said, Congratulations to Milo for winning Best Black.
00:07:45.000He didn't win Best Black, a black guy won Best Black.
00:08:02.000Um, so I got there too late, uh, ran on some errands, got some party favors, and, uh, I thought I might as well just stay at their house, the house where we're doing the shoot, because the shoot starts in the morning.
00:08:13.000And it's Mark Randazza's house, who's the free speech attorney you may have heard of.
00:10:24.000September 12th, start working on the new World Trade Center that's going to look exactly the same as the old World Trade Center.
00:10:32.000So, ideally, this would have been my goal as president, if I was George W. Bush,
00:10:39.000My goal would have been for British people to think that September 11th never happened.
00:10:44.000I would consider that a feather in my cap as president.
00:10:48.000And there'd be a little plaque there and it would say, for the record on September 11th there were some Muslims who blew up some shit here and the towers were down for a little while, a few months, but they're back now so we don't need to dwell.
00:11:40.000But no, we had to spend 13 years and go, I don't know what it was, 13 billion over budget, to make something that looks like when you have a small gnat, a tiny black fly in your eye, and you make that tissue, you twist it at the top so you can really do like home surgery and pluck him off your eyeball.
00:12:09.000I don't think they could have designed anything better themselves.
00:12:12.000They would have had an ISIS flag and some Arabic on it or something, but I'm sure the Arabs are going, yes, that's pretty much what we're going for.
00:12:21.000I don't know why I talk in a Pakistani accent, but I've traveled a lot, you know.
00:12:26.000Now I'm the guy from, we got to move it, move it.
00:12:31.000So the West Fest was sort of like saying, we'll never forget, but fuck them.
00:12:37.000And it wasn't ignoring September 11th.
00:12:39.000Obviously we chose that for a reason, but it was a way of saying, uh, we're here to enjoy everything that's great about being Westerners.
00:12:46.000There's Canadians there and some weird guy, some Polish dude kept following me all night.
00:12:51.000Kevin, can I have 30 seconds of your time?
00:13:14.000And these guys would still bring their chicks.
00:13:17.000And it just adds this there's like 500 dudes and four or five chicks So obviously the guys start getting drunk and looming over them and it just and of course they appreciate it because they're getting this You know crazy attention from all these guys, but I don't know.
00:13:34.000You're making me horny put a burqa on You're distracting me.
00:13:38.000Booj We did have to tell them to leave for the awards ceremony But let me just tell you about my trip
00:13:46.000And now, this is gonna bore you, but I find it fascinating, so fuck you.
00:13:52.000This is sort of like when Lenny Bruce would read his court transcripts, assuming everyone was as interested in the minutiae of his life as he is.
00:14:51.000But the train cuts through all that shit.
00:14:53.000So if you're gonna go to the Newark airport, I don't know why you're doing that, but just get on the train from Penn and you're at Newark station in milliseconds.
00:15:01.000But I made the mistake of taking my fucking car.
00:15:05.000Um, cause the trains were at eight in the morning and then like after my flight.
00:15:10.000I didn't want to do a cab, because there were a hundred bucks there, a hundred bucks back, and parking is probably only a hundred bucks, so I'd save a hundred bucks there.
00:15:17.000So I get in the car, and I give myself tons of time.
00:15:49.000And so, in traffic, I go on Orbitz and I buy another ticket.
00:15:53.000I know that sounds crazy, but last time I missed my flight- Last year, by the way, I missed my flight because I was just having nachos and beer and looking at my phone, checking Twitter, and I didn't notice an hour had gone by and they closed the door.
00:16:17.000I was pushing the security button at the gate because no one was at the gate anymore.
00:16:21.000And, uh, I think he went down the runway and pretended to, like, talk to the pilot, but he was just sort of waiting around the corner.
00:16:27.000And then, of course, you see the accordion retract from the plane door.
00:16:31.000And you go, well, I don't really see them getting me on one of those, uh, mobile staircases, uh, like from Arrested Development and hiking me out to that door and then them opening it somewhere on the runway.
00:17:16.000So I fucking... There's a button on my car called Sport.
00:17:20.000And it's not good for gas, but it's good for getting the job done.
00:17:25.000So, I'm in a car commercial now, just... Overdrive, 4.9% financing, 5 liter engine, your local dealership... Pontiac builds excitement, and the gay-ass Waze keeps telling me to go off this highway, and I'm like, no, the 95 goes right to the door.
00:17:58.000Like, they took me off the 95 a few times in the Bronx, and I'm going through shitty Bronx traffic with rude pedestrians and people talking in double park.
00:18:08.000How is that faster than even the shittiest traffic?
00:18:12.000Plus, everyone else from Waze is with you on these dumb little Bronx streets.
00:19:26.000And I realize, I'll just park my car, and I'll grab my shit, and run, and do curbside checking, and then I'll go park the car.
00:19:34.000And so I go screeching in, and I open the trunk, I grab the thing, and there's some bitch, like, these women who work these jobs with their oversized uniforms.
00:19:44.000You know why your uniform looks ridiculous?
00:19:46.000Because no one ever thought a woman would want this job, especially a five foot tall woman.
00:19:50.000So she's out there trying to argue with cars,
00:19:53.000In her giant jacket where the fingers are barely peeking out of the top.
00:19:57.000And she's got her big security vest on with her big orange axe and she's like, Sir!
00:21:40.000You know, have some fun in your- you chose the- both of those people chose the wrong job.
00:21:43.000The fucking tiny little woman trying to argue with- with drivers who are at death's door, and then this old black dude who doesn't give a little shit about anyone.
00:21:55.000So I go, we're not out of the woods yet, McInnes.
00:21:59.000That's Hockey Night in Canada I'm doing as my action movie sounds.
00:22:04.000So I grab my shit, my cards and everything.
00:24:09.000If you don't make your flight and you don't register as cancelled and you buy another flight without asking, which I always do because inevitably when you go back to the gate and you talk to them and blah blah blah, they never give you a deal that's better than Orbitz.
00:24:21.000They just go, okay, well, it'll be $400, you have to buy a new ticket.
00:25:22.000And if you're next to some gigantic fat pig, you just use them as a pillow.
00:25:27.000If you're sober and there's someone huge and fat next to you with their big fat arm that looks like a leg spilling out over onto your side of it, um, that sucks.
00:25:37.000However, if you're drunk out of your mind, you're just like, oh, it's Big Hero 6 robot just crawled in next to me.
00:28:19.000This is, this is like barfing is the last thing I'm gonna, because I haven't eaten in three days.
00:28:24.000And so I went to New York yesterday, and I had a big day.
00:28:28.000I was interviewing Ann Coulter, George Neumeier.
00:28:32.000George Neumeier is this guy who did a book called Political Pope, and he's been at the forefront of investigating all these pedophile priests, which is way worse than you think.
00:28:40.000According to him, this whole thing was a gay mafia, um, uh, takeover.
00:28:47.000Where, like, my angle for it was, uh, priests, uh, they go, oh, you're gay?
00:28:59.000It's gays saying, let's enter the Catholic Church.
00:29:02.000It's a great place to take advantage of people.
00:29:05.000Now, I don't know who's right, but his theory is pretty darn sinister about this sort of planned infiltration, the gay mafia, he calls it, who planned to do it in the 70s and have done it to the tunes of 10,000.
00:29:57.000Now, the big difference obviously is that Muslims turn a blind eye to the grooming gangs in Britain and Catholics are fucking pissed about what we recently discovered.
00:30:07.000We all were sort of under the impression it ended in the 80s.
00:31:08.000Anyway, so there's that and that, and then this other girl, Sarah al-Iraqiya, who is an ex-Muslim and has been writing a lot about what it's like to leave Islam and how evil she thinks it is, Islam.
00:31:25.000So those are three pretty heady guests.
00:31:28.000And I have the IQ of a fish and I'm sitting there on the train behind this couple, these tourists.
00:31:35.000They're British and I can hear them nattering away.
00:31:38.000And I didn't realize this until the end of the trip, but they've been talking a lot about, you know, they were kind of like Liverpudlian, and, oh, we're going to go to Central Park.
00:32:52.000Overall, it's been a very eventful couple of days, seven days.
00:32:57.000I think I bit off more than I could chew, though, with this guest-editing Penthouse Australia.
00:33:03.000I mean, I can think of a bunch of fun ideas, but, you know, the thing about a magazine or a newspaper is, when you're in the zone, it's like a well-oiled machine.
00:33:13.000Alright, you guys are gonna handle this thing, you're gonna handle that thing.
00:33:16.000But when you start from scratch and you haven't done it in 10 years, it's just like getting the team together and everything and finding out who you can rely on and how you're going to pay them.
00:33:51.000And, uh, I don't even know what's true anymore, but, but Jim's quite intelligent and he came up with a way to do it where, um, we don't have to worry about it getting killed.
00:34:02.000And it is, uh, horrible ways some see different groups in society.
00:34:29.000That's what people don't get, too, about a lot of these things that are seemingly racist or homophobic, like when you say something is gay.
00:35:21.000You know, this is off topic, but I was reading Robin Quiver's autobiography recently, and she gets real sort of anti-white about halfway through.
00:35:31.000It's her autobiography, so it's halfway through her life, halfway through the book.
00:35:35.000And I'm reading about her childhood, and it could not have been worse.
00:35:40.000Beaten by her mother, and then, this was actually kind of cool of her parents I guess, but they needed extra money so they'd take in foster children.
00:35:47.000And they'd raise them for a couple years, sometimes four years from birth, and then the kids would get, you know, taken by someone else now that they're nice and cute and don't poo their pants.
00:35:57.000Um, but that must be brutal on a young lady.
00:36:01.000She's like 12, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
00:36:05.000Falling in love with these little kids.
00:36:07.000Like, changing their diapers, holding them.
00:36:11.000Like, they're falling asleep on her, on her chest.
00:36:15.000She's putting them to bed, kissing them on the forehead, and then, poof, they're gone.
00:36:18.000Like, imagine, so, I think you're, you know, obviously 14-year-olds shouldn't be having babies, but they do have menstrual cycles, so there are some maternal instincts in there.
00:36:27.000And to be having this woman be this maternal loving mom and just like, that's enough love.
00:36:34.000Give me that baby back again and again and again.
00:37:08.000And she has sort of this Malcolm X moment in college where some girl that she knew her whole life was with this group of sorority in crowd girls and she saw Robin and just walked by her.
00:38:16.000Uh oh, I'm recording this podcast at home and I can hear my wife screaming at the kids.
00:38:21.000You know, I can tell when I've been away for a few days, her yelling more.
00:38:25.000So even in the three days that I've been away, the disciplinarian has been gone and she's had to raise her voice.
00:38:30.000Normally, if she hears, if I hear that's enough, I come upstairs or downstairs and dole out the authority and they stop doing what they're doing.
00:38:39.000But even in the three days my wife was a single mom, I can see a difference in this household.