Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 28, 2018


Get Off My Lawn Podcast #97 | Lena Dunham is leaving Brooklyn


Episode Stats

Length

48 minutes

Words per Minute

176.45598

Word Count

8,564

Sentence Count

707

Misogynist Sentences

93

Hate Speech Sentences

74


Summary

Comedian Lin-Manuel Miranda's face annoys me, and Kevin Spacey's face makes me barf, and I have a tip on how to deal with it. Plus, I talk about how to get your kids to stop playing Fortnite after they've played it for the first time, and why you should put them in another room to decompress from the stress of it all. Also, I give my thoughts on the new season of HBO's "Girls" and why I don't think it's going to be as good as the first season, and how much better it is than the last season of "Girls". I also talk about why I think Lena Dunham is a bad feminist and why she should be fired from the show "Girls." And I also give my tip on what to do when your kid is having trouble falling asleep to bedtime, and a tip about how you should keep them in a different room after you've had a full glass of water for an hour or so. Thanks for listening to this episode of Thick & Thin. I hope you enjoy it, and if you like it, please leave us a rating and review it on Apple Podcasts! or wherever you get your news and reviews. I'll be back next week with a new episode next Tuesday. Timestamps: 5:00 - What are you listening to? 6:30 - What do you think of this episode? 7:00- What's your favorite part of the show? 8:15 - Who do you like about it? 9:20 - What would you'd like to see me talk about it more? 10: What are your thoughts on it better? 11: What s your favorite thing? 13:00 14:30- What do they're your favorite piece of food? 15:00s - How do you want me to do next? 16:40 - My tip for a good night out? 17:30s - My favorite part? 18:40s - Who are you most annoying? 19:20s - I think you're a good person? 21: What's the worst thing you vettie? 22:10s - What's a good tip for me? 27:10 - I'll give me a tip for you? 26:00 | My favorite tip? 29:40 32:10


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Lena Dunham is leaving Brooklyn.
00:00:04.000 She's breaking up with Brooklyn.
00:00:06.000 I think she's kind of breaking up with everything.
00:00:09.000 I think she's had enough.
00:00:11.000 She got into bed with feminists and they didn't scissor her.
00:00:21.000 I'm kind of fascinated by Lena Dunham.
00:00:22.000 She's one of those people that I hate and love at the same time.
00:00:27.000 I obviously hate her politics and find her annoying.
00:00:30.000 And the constant nudity from someone who looks like that is really hard on the eyes.
00:00:34.000 But I also admire her, and I thought Girls was really good.
00:00:38.000 Yeah, you heard it here first, folks.
00:00:41.000 And with Lin-Manuel Miranda, I'm the same way.
00:00:43.000 I hate him.
00:00:44.000 It annoys me that people don't want to hear about American history unless you get black guys and Hispanic guys to do it, and then all of a sudden they care.
00:00:54.000 And his face annoys me and that charitable thing he did where he was singing in Spanish with all these other Spanish celebrities.
00:01:02.000 He's just so earnest.
00:01:04.000 You know what I mean?
00:01:06.000 His little sweatshirt and his... Oh, and he did this thing.
00:01:08.000 Remember that thing he did with Emma Watson where he tried to show her how to beatbox?
00:01:13.000 I remember those guys, Lin-Manuel guys in school.
00:01:16.000 The dudes who were really into hip-hop.
00:01:21.000 And they were, you remember those guys who were into hip-hop?
00:01:23.000 And they weren't just like, yeah, I like it, like, I like rock.
00:01:26.000 It was like, no, no, it's hip-hop culture.
00:01:27.000 You see, rap is the type of music, and hip-hop, it combines the four elements of turntabling, breakdancing, rapping, and graffiti.
00:01:36.000 And they're, ugh, they know all the terms, like throw up, and this is a piece, and this is your tag, and you wanna get fame.
00:01:42.000 Of course, I know about all this crap, because I did pop culture for so long, but.
00:01:47.000 So, they're hip-hop nerds.
00:01:49.000 They have little backpacks on, and he's still that guy.
00:01:52.000 But just so, ugh.
00:01:54.000 He's so sincere, it makes me barf.
00:01:57.000 But on the other hand, he's got people to care about American history.
00:02:01.000 I mean, they had to be tricked, I guess.
00:02:04.000 And it worked.
00:02:05.000 He Trojan-horsed in some American history in there.
00:02:08.000 She made tons of money and created tons of jobs.
00:02:11.000 Raised money for Puerto Rico with that irritating song.
00:02:15.000 So hats off to him, you know?
00:02:17.000 He's improved the world around him.
00:02:20.000 And now I got Lin-Manuel Miranda's face in my head.
00:02:26.000 He looks like a melting camel.
00:02:28.000 And he's always has a coffee.
00:02:29.000 You know, like he did some American Express commercial.
00:02:31.000 He's in the barbershop and he's bringing people croissants.
00:02:34.000 I get the heebie-jeebies.
00:02:37.000 He creeps me out.
00:02:39.000 But I probably would work, by the way, if you're having trouble with premature ejaculation.
00:02:44.000 My old tip
00:02:46.000 And I don't mean literal tip.
00:02:47.000 My old handy tip that just reminded me, I went up this... Did I tell you this story already about this guy?
00:02:53.000 His wife told me the best thing to do when your kids play Fortnite is to put them in another room after to decompress because they're such junkies for it.
00:02:58.000 It's like taking crack away.
00:03:00.000 And I thought that was a really helpful tip and I tried it and it works.
00:03:02.000 Because they get crazy when you take the Fortnite away.
00:03:05.000 And, uh, I went up to him and I said, I cannot say enough about your wife's tips.
00:03:11.000 He stared at me, he's very protective of his wife, he stared at me like he was going to rip my throat out.
00:03:15.000 He thought I was talking about her tits, which I've never even looked at or considered in any way.
00:03:20.000 Um, so, but my tip for lasting used to be Kevin Spacey.
00:03:24.000 You imagine his face floating above your bed about five feet high, huge.
00:03:28.000 I think so.
00:03:45.000 Gets you some, gets you a good, maybe more than Kevin Spacey, maybe four minutes.
00:03:49.000 And by the way, the Kevin Spacey thing, people have come up to me and said, hey man, uh, thanks for that Kevin Spacey thing.
00:03:57.000 Really improved my marriage.
00:03:59.000 I've been thanked for the Kevin Spacey thing.
00:04:02.000 But anyway, get back to Lena Dunham.
00:04:03.000 So she came out of nowhere, artist mom, and she did a show called Girls.
00:04:09.000 And the first season, it was totally vapid.
00:04:12.000 And it was kind of sex in the city, but for Upper West Side rich kids.
00:04:17.000 And as I was saying on my show about the Beastie Boys, you have to understand that these rich kids who grew up in New York City,
00:04:24.000 Whether it's the 70s, 80s, right up till now, they go to these stupid art schools where they get a shark in math, and they get credits for working at a record store, and it's just, it's make-believe, and they end up, like, the Beastie Boys book is unreadable.
00:04:41.000 He can't spell, he uses plus instead of and, he says like in sentences, it's Valley Girl stuff, and I remember that when I first moved to New York, and hanging out with the in-crowd, and
00:04:52.000 You know, Dash Snow and Ryan McGinley and all those ear snot dudes.
00:04:55.000 Cool guys, great guys.
00:04:57.000 But we'd get to, you know, politics would come up or history or something and they wouldn't know anything.
00:05:02.000 Like, Dash Snow was an awesome guy, and I cried when he died, but I remember asking him once, because he was really into Iraq, and because it means I steal, and he had, like, Saddam Hussein tattoos on, and I pretended that he was really into Iraq itself, and I go, what do you think of the embargoes, dude?
00:05:19.000 And he goes, who are the embargoes?
00:05:23.000 That's typical of New York in crowd, and rich, especially, well, the poor are screwed because of public schools, because they're the worst, probably, in the Northeast.
00:05:33.000 But the rich kids are screwed because they go to these art schools.
00:05:39.000 And Liam Dunham's one of them.
00:05:42.000 And so these rich, vapid, self-indulgent kids in Manhattan, they hang around with all white people and they talk about racism all the time.
00:05:50.000 That's their two obsessions, defending black people and not being around black people.
00:05:55.000 That's really, that's, that's the liberally, you know, what's funny too about having my character assassinated is I get recognized now everywhere I go.
00:06:02.000 I can't, if I don't, if I'm not ready for a brawl, I mean, most, most people approach me are cool, I should say, but I just tend to hang out in black neighborhoods more because no one recognizes me.
00:06:14.000 I feel safest and most comfortable in Harlem now.
00:06:19.000 Anyway, so...
00:06:22.000 It's an interesting group of people, and when Lena Dunham did Girls, she didn't hold back.
00:06:29.000 She showed herself as narcissistic and uninformed and spoiled, and all her friends come across the same way.
00:06:35.000 And that's really cool, and it's really rare in TV to have protagonists who are kind of villains.
00:06:43.000 That's an annoying thing, too, about American culture.
00:06:46.000 I remember Justin Theroux said that once.
00:06:48.000 He said, The problem with American comedy is they can't have smart losers.
00:06:52.000 Britain can have Alan Partridge.
00:06:54.000 He's a very intelligent fucking loser.
00:06:57.000 Our losers have to be Homer Simpson.
00:06:59.000 Do-do-do-do-do.
00:07:00.000 I'm a dumb guy.
00:07:01.000 You go, that's a little on the nose.
00:07:03.000 Can we have some nuance here?
00:07:07.000 Like, Cast Away, it's a good movie and everything, but 100% of the people in that movie are absolute angels.
00:07:14.000 People aren't like that.
00:07:15.000 People can be malicious, especially, maybe that's me living in New York.
00:07:18.000 I'm just used to everyone having a knife behind their back, or in their back.
00:07:24.000 So this show had protagonists who were not likable, and they were irritating, and they were vapid.
00:07:31.000 And then the reviews come out, and it's, uh,
00:07:36.000 Boy, these characters are vapid, and they're not multicultural enough.
00:07:41.000 And you go, yeah, that's the point.
00:07:43.000 She's showing you the Upper West Side rich scene of these spoiled brat kids.
00:07:48.000 And no, they're not diverse.
00:07:50.000 That's interesting.
00:07:52.000 It's a really honest and real show, and it was kind of funny.
00:07:55.000 And that's all I ask for my art.
00:07:59.000 But there is a problem.
00:08:01.000 With that culture.
00:08:04.000 There's sort of two cultures going on at once here.
00:08:06.000 There's the Upper West Side rich kids.
00:08:07.000 We already talked about that and that was interesting to see.
00:08:09.000 But also, the grander scheme of these young people is ovaries suck.
00:08:16.000 It's ovary bigotry.
00:08:18.000 And in Sex and the City, that was the previous version, that was more Gen X-y.
00:08:23.000 They're all about woman empowerment, but the woman empowerment just seems to be being a complete slut, fucking everything that moves and talking about dicks over brunch.
00:08:30.000 That's like women being empowered.
00:08:32.000 That's not women being empowered.
00:08:33.000 That's women being dudes.
00:08:35.000 That's women being gay men, basically.
00:08:37.000 You know, feminism is, it doesn't make women into superwomen, it makes women into men.
00:08:42.000 And women make shitty men.
00:08:43.000 They're not good at it.
00:08:44.000 And the whole slut thing, I don't believe women enjoy that.
00:08:48.000 It's not in their nature to be banging everything that moves.
00:08:51.000 It's just not.
00:08:52.000 They like intimacy.
00:08:56.000 So, the problem with both of these shows, and girls... Although, you know what?
00:09:01.000 It's not so much a problem with girls, because girls, I wouldn't say those girls are portrayed well.
00:09:05.000 Like, sex in the city, you're supposed to look up to these women.
00:09:08.000 With girls?
00:09:09.000 I don't know.
00:09:11.000 But...
00:09:13.000 Boy, it faced a lot of animosity.
00:09:15.000 I just remember when it came out, Jezebel and all these these feminists just leapt on it.
00:09:20.000 They called it hipster racism.
00:09:22.000 And one of their beefs was that every actress in the show comes from money or has, like, one of the girls, her dad was in some band, what were they called?
00:09:34.000 They had, like, one hit.
00:09:38.000 One of the girls in Girls, her dad was like the drummer in Bad Company or something like that.
00:09:45.000 And so that's how she got the gig.
00:09:48.000 And you're like, oh yeah, those Bad Company spoiled brats are always making, you won't be able to look it up.
00:09:53.000 The word girls is just going to be too much stuff.
00:09:56.000 You could go HBO Girls.
00:09:58.000 Yeah!
00:09:59.000 That's the point!
00:09:59.000 What are you missing here?
00:10:00.000 But Lena Dunham immediately capitulated, but I'll get to that.
00:10:17.000 It's this anti-ovary culture where they say, you know, just keep sucking dicks, don't ever get a ring on it, uh, never settle down.
00:10:24.000 Like, they don't, you don't see them becoming housewives and being happily married and having kids and that's the end of the series.
00:10:29.000 It doesn't end like that.
00:10:30.000 It's always just like, we went to Monaco and then we fucked Arabs and then we went to Africa, ooh, we're on a sex tour, we're glamping with dicks everywhere.
00:10:38.000 Yeah, that sounds awesome if you're a gay man.
00:10:42.000 Um, and so there's, there was two things going on with girls.
00:10:47.000 One, they were being cannibalized by the left, even though they're lefties, because the thing about the left these days is they need their Nazis bad.
00:10:54.000 They eat Nazis.
00:10:55.000 They're vampire hunters and vampire, they're vampires.
00:10:58.000 Vampires need blood, but there's not enough blood.
00:11:01.000 So they just start drinking grape juice and, and writing blood on a cup of tomato sauce.
00:11:07.000 And just calling everything blood.
00:11:09.000 Everyone's a Nazi.
00:11:09.000 Everyone's racist.
00:11:10.000 So they can get their racist.
00:11:11.000 And then they run out of those guys.
00:11:13.000 They eat me up.
00:11:15.000 They eat up Robert Spencer, not Richard Spencer, Robert Spencer.
00:11:19.000 And then they're like, I'm still hungry.
00:11:20.000 So then they look over at Lena Dunham and they go, you got some meat on your bones.
00:11:23.000 And they start devouring her.
00:11:28.000 So this is, I'm making, probably making this more complicated than it is.
00:11:30.000 So that's one sort of story.
00:11:33.000 Then there's another story going on with ovaries where, and I was responsible for this advice too, but Sex and the City, pop culture, they had, New York has this whole like don't get married thing going on.
00:11:44.000 And it always blows up in a woman's face.
00:11:46.000 She always ends up lonely and childless, and just being used as a colostomy bag for other people's cum.
00:11:51.000 Just getting called at four in the morning for a booty call, and, oh well, maybe someone will hug me.
00:11:56.000 You know, he'll hug me in the morning before he boots me out, and then I have to go back to being a cat mom.
00:12:01.000 I've always said that New York City is an elephant's graveyard for ovaries.
00:12:06.000 Women come here thinking they're gonna marry Mr. Big and get some big finance guy and be rich out in Connecticut, and it almost never pans out that way.
00:12:15.000 They just get, they go, they go in their 20s, they get dumped around 35, and then men go back, they just
00:12:23.000 It's easy to get girls in New York, so men just keep dumping women when they're around 35, and that's when their ovaries are dried up, and it's going to take them a couple years to recover, and then by the time they're ready for a new man and to get married or something, it's 40.
00:12:35.000 Well, you snooze, you lose.
00:12:37.000 Now you're going to go to Iceland on a trip and just get drunk there with your boyfriend, or your husband.
00:12:43.000 Hope he doesn't dump you for being childless.
00:12:45.000 So I don't like that element of all of these shows, is the never get married, just be a slut thing.
00:12:53.000 I think it hurts women.
00:12:54.000 And it's ironic that I'm seen as a sexist for saying that.
00:12:57.000 I'm like, don't just be a free whore.
00:13:00.000 Get a ring on it.
00:13:01.000 And they're like, you sexist pig.
00:13:03.000 How dare you not want me to be a complete whore?
00:13:07.000 Any his.
00:13:10.000 So this, this continues and it's just gotten worse and worse for Lena.
00:13:15.000 She's just, she keeps capitulating and they just keep feeding on her carcass.
00:13:19.000 Like she said, okay, okay, I'll get a black guy.
00:13:21.000 She got Donald Glover.
00:13:23.000 And they go, how dare you make him Republican, you bitch.
00:13:26.000 Like when you capitulate to these lunatics, they just want more blood.
00:13:31.000 So, there was just an article that came out about her, and I thought there was an interesting sort of a poll quote here.
00:13:37.000 Here is an incomplete list of things Dunham has been asked to apologize for.
00:13:41.000 And, like, look at that tone.
00:13:44.000 You have been asked to apologize.
00:13:46.000 It sounds like a schoolmarm.
00:13:48.000 It sounds like a Pink Floyd video.
00:13:50.000 Hey!
00:13:51.000 Teacher!
00:13:52.000 Leave those kids alone!
00:13:53.000 Like, I imagine them having a monocle and sort of sagging jowls and a meter stick that they slap on the desk.
00:13:59.000 You have been asked to apologize, Lena.
00:14:02.000 If anything, she should have to apologize for encouraging women to be complete whores and never settle down, because they'll end up like Lena Dunham.
00:14:10.000 Alright, ready?
00:14:11.000 The non-diverse casting on girls.
00:14:14.000 Yes, I just spoke about that.
00:14:15.000 We got that.
00:14:16.000 Casting Donald Glover as a black Republican boyfriend the season after she got in trouble for having an all-white cast.
00:14:22.000 Wait, why is that bad?
00:14:25.000 Like, they say you have an all-white cast, that sucks, and then she gets a black guy, and then she gets in trouble for that.
00:14:29.000 Or you're doing that just as a token.
00:14:32.000 Well, yeah, you told me to.
00:14:34.000 You said, get some token black people in there, and I did.
00:14:37.000 See, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
00:14:39.000 If she didn't get black people on the cast the next year, she would have been screwed again.
00:14:45.000 Around that time was when they coined the phrase hipster racism because she was a New Yorker and she just spoke in a sort of a raunchy way and that's not acceptable.
00:14:59.000 Saying in an interview, no one would be calling me racist if they knew how badly I wanted to fuck Drake.
00:15:05.000 Could that be more clearly a joke please?
00:15:09.000 Come on!
00:15:10.000 The willful ignorance here is astounding.
00:15:13.000 So you're picturing chubby little Lena, the baby seal, lying underneath Drake and then looking at someone and going, see?
00:15:21.000 See?
00:15:23.000 My son used to do that when he was two.
00:15:25.000 God, it would crack me up.
00:15:26.000 Nothing's his fault.
00:15:27.000 And so he would give him chocolate milk or something in the back seat in his little baby chair and there'd be like a bump and he'd get chocolate milk all over himself and he'd always say, see?
00:15:37.000 See?
00:15:39.000 Like, I told you not to give me chocolate milk, but no!
00:15:43.000 You wouldn't listen.
00:15:46.000 Yeah, this is what people do too, and they do this to me all the time, maybe this is why I'm so sympathetic to her.
00:15:53.000 You take a joke like that and then you write it out of context and it's like, now we have to imagine someone sitting down on a pulpit or something, well you don't sit at a pulpit, standing in a pulpit, with a gavel in hand going, I just want to make something perfectly clear to America, I want to have sex with Drake.
00:16:10.000 And that should be taken as evidence that I am not a racist person.
00:16:13.000 I can show you myself diddling my bean to a picture of Drake.
00:16:16.000 I'm prepared to do that right now, actually.
00:16:18.000 I'm happy to be nude in public, as you know.
00:16:20.000 And if you have a picture of Drake, and you can watch me orgasm.
00:16:23.000 I will have an orgasm staring at a picture of him.
00:16:25.000 Now, could a racist do that?
00:16:29.000 For the record, actually, I don't think a racist could do that.
00:16:33.000 I don't think a racist woman could masturbate to Drake.
00:16:37.000 Just for the record, the joke actually has some truth to it.
00:16:41.000 Alright, uh, declaring herself thin for, like, Detroit.
00:16:48.000 A, that is a joke.
00:16:50.000 B, that's a funny joke.
00:16:51.000 C, that's kind of true.
00:16:53.000 I bet the obesity rates in Detroit are abnormally high, and I bet if she lived in Detroit, in an African-American community, she wouldn't be considered obese.
00:17:04.000 If she lived in Connecticut, in a rich, affluent suburb where the moms go to Equinox all day and the nannies do all the work, she would be considered an obese whale.
00:17:16.000 So that was an amusing joke.
00:17:17.000 And by the way, the reason I hate stuff like this, so you're, you have to, she has to apologize for saying I'm thin for like Detroit.
00:17:24.000 Now people can't use color and I don't mean race.
00:17:27.000 They can't be colorful in their language.
00:17:29.000 So you're out there, you, you fucking school moms with your
00:17:33.000 Monocles on and you're killing humor, and that's the beginning of the end.
00:17:38.000 Like Orwell said, within every joke is a tiny revolution.
00:17:41.000 You can't be colorful anymore, and I've argued this many times.
00:17:44.000 I think back in the 80s, before political correctness really took hold in the 90s, I think there was less racism when there was more rude jokes.
00:17:54.000 Like when you could go, hey you big Polack, when you went to the barbershop and stuff.
00:17:59.000 I think there was more diversity.
00:18:01.000 Back then.
00:18:01.000 Like, I look at my parents' parties in the 70s, and there's barely any black people in Canada, but they'd all be at the parties.
00:18:07.000 They were always there.
00:18:09.000 Now, I think black people are just sick of hearing about race all the time.
00:18:14.000 It's like, it's almost like it's a curse.
00:18:16.000 Like, you see a black person walk into a room and you go, oh, hi, I'm so sorry for what you have to go through being that way.
00:18:24.000 It must be terrible to be you.
00:18:26.000 Do you want some money?
00:18:27.000 Do you want a drink for free here?
00:18:29.000 Being the curse of being black?
00:18:31.000 It's like, Jesus Christ, I'm not a kid with cancer.
00:18:33.000 I don't need your sympathy.
00:18:36.000 Are you finding old articles that I've written about girls?
00:18:39.000 I've probably forgotten something.
00:18:41.000 Yeah, it just came up.
00:18:43.000 I was Google searching here naked because I don't think I've ever really seen it.
00:18:47.000 You've never seen her naked?
00:18:48.000 How can you not have seen Lena Dunham naked?
00:18:51.000 It's very difficult to avoid.
00:18:52.000 It's like being an untouched tribe.
00:18:54.000 I think I subconsciously avoided it because now I'm seeking it and it's pretty brutal.
00:19:00.000 I like seeing her naked because it's kind of cool to see what gays see when they see naked women.
00:19:07.000 You're right.
00:19:09.000 That's not an attractive thing.
00:19:10.000 I see their point now because sometimes I like to argue with gays.
00:19:13.000 Like Bruce LeBruce, I'd sit down and go,
00:19:17.000 I get what you like, and I can see the argument there, but how can you not like tits?
00:19:22.000 Like, how can you look at a bag and say, thumbs up, and then look at tits and go, no thanks?
00:19:27.000 And obviously it's not a winnable argument, it's just a fun devil's advocate thing to do.
00:19:30.000 That's a good point, though.
00:19:34.000 Well, I... Sometimes they'll be okay with tits and a butt, but then when you get down to actual labia, they start going...
00:19:40.000 And I get it.
00:19:41.000 That is literally an acquired taste.
00:19:44.000 But I remember once he just said, I was talking about bags and men, and I'm showing him my belly and stuff.
00:19:49.000 I'm going, how do you prefer this to tits?
00:19:51.000 And he's like, I never said I appreciated you.
00:19:54.000 And then he goes, but your problem is you have no appreciation for the human body.
00:19:58.000 He was getting kind of pissed at me.
00:20:00.000 But anyway, a better argument he could have made was just showing me Lena Dunham naked.
00:20:04.000 And I go, oh, yeah.
00:20:06.000 OK.
00:20:07.000 I just kind of see where the gay thing is going.
00:20:10.000 But one more thing, don't you notice that they call women beautiful a lot?
00:20:13.000 Like they're like, Beyonce is so beautiful.
00:20:15.000 She's the queen.
00:20:17.000 Yeah, but they're like chicks that way.
00:20:19.000 Chicks love women.
00:20:22.000 Chicks really love ethnic women, like Padma Lakshmi or whatever.
00:20:26.000 I remember that in high school too.
00:20:28.000 If there was a girl who was like Polynesian or something, they'd be like, she is so beautiful.
00:20:33.000 Her mile-high cheekbones.
00:20:35.000 That'd be funny if dudes talked like that about chicks.
00:20:38.000 Yeah, right?
00:20:38.000 Dude, you gotta see this chick I'm banging right now.
00:20:40.000 Mile-high cheekbones.
00:20:42.000 Beautiful fucking hands.
00:20:43.000 Thin bones.
00:20:44.000 You know, she's got bee-stung lips and her hair is so flaxen.
00:20:48.000 Oh, you're telling me.
00:20:48.000 I mean, look at her cheeks.
00:20:50.000 They look like she put rouge on.
00:20:51.000 Like, that's just natural.
00:20:53.000 How does she do it?
00:20:53.000 She's so radiant.
00:20:54.000 Oh my god, those eyelashes.
00:20:55.000 They're so fucking long.
00:20:57.000 Alabaster skin.
00:20:58.000 No, they just go...
00:21:00.000 They just go, is she pretty?
00:21:02.000 Does she have nice tits?
00:21:03.000 And then the ass is like, it would be nice if there was one, but a lot of guys would just go, oh well, you can't have them all.
00:21:09.000 I went for tits this time.
00:21:12.000 Is she not morbidly obese?
00:21:14.000 Fine.
00:21:15.000 Maybe they just look at women the way that I look at my girlfriends after they fart for the first time.
00:21:20.000 I'm like, you're done.
00:21:23.000 That's a good point, Ryan, that you didn't just make.
00:21:23.000 Yeah, never.
00:21:27.000 Don't ever fart around your spouse.
00:21:28.000 Ever.
00:21:28.000 I don't care if you're married for 30 years.
00:21:30.000 My wife and I don't use the same bathroom.
00:21:32.000 I am continuing the illusion that women don't defecate.
00:21:36.000 I can, in my life, I have nothing to thwart this theory that women only have a piece of bubblegum come out once a month and then people from like Bubble Yum and the bubblegum stores, they come by the house and they collect them and that's how you get bubblegum.
00:21:50.000 Anyway, um, uh, Lena Dunham fat?
00:21:55.000 Was that?
00:21:55.000 Am I missing something?
00:21:56.000 Okay, so anyway, let's get back to this.
00:22:00.000 Writing a New Yorker essay called, Dog or Jewish Boyfriend?
00:22:04.000 A quiz.
00:22:05.000 That is pretty out there.
00:22:08.000 And it's obviously humorous, and I bet that she had a million Jewish boyfriends.
00:22:12.000 Like, are we really treating that as an anti-Semitic diatribe?
00:22:17.000 This is like when I did a 10 Things I Hate About the Jews, which isn't on YouTube anymore, so people just get the misdirecting title.
00:22:25.000 But it was an ode to Israel and how I think they should be more happy about the wall and I think they should embrace the Christians who love them and like Trump more and we love you, love us back kind of thing.
00:22:35.000 And obviously, working for Ezra Levant, I'm not sitting there in Israel doing this anti-Jewish diatribe obviously.
00:22:45.000 Yeah, mainstream conservative Canadian site had a giant anti-Semitic diatribe, and though their other 50 videos they shot there were all pro-Israeli.
00:22:53.000 How unusual!
00:22:55.000 That's the funny thing, too, about the leftist narrative.
00:22:58.000 They hit a speed bump, or they hit the end of the road, and they just keep on driving.
00:23:05.000 Oh, this group's racist.
00:23:06.000 No, they have blacks in it.
00:23:08.000 Blacks are racist against blacks.
00:23:10.000 Really?
00:23:11.000 They just sit there in the mirror when they're brushing their teeth and they go, this sucks.
00:23:16.000 I wish I could be white.
00:23:17.000 I'm going to hang out with the KKK.
00:23:19.000 And then I'll just avoid mirrors.
00:23:22.000 I mean, it's literally a David, a Dave Chappelle sketch.
00:23:26.000 Your political beliefs are a comedy sketch.
00:23:30.000 What was his name?
00:23:31.000 Bigsby or something?
00:23:32.000 The black, the black blind guy who didn't know he was in the Klan.
00:23:34.000 Or he didn't know he was black.
00:23:36.000 Your fucking philosophy is literally a comedy sketch.
00:23:41.000 You wanna talk about clown world?
00:23:42.000 Living in clown world?
00:23:44.000 The onion's out of business.
00:23:45.000 They can't keep up.
00:23:48.000 So anyway, Dogger Jewish Boyfriend.
00:23:51.000 It's a, it, it, I don't know, I haven't read the article, but it sounds funny.
00:23:56.000 Constantly being naked.
00:23:57.000 Why, okay, that's something you have to apologize to me for.
00:24:01.000 That's, why are feminists mad at her for constantly being naked?
00:24:05.000 I mean, these are all, all of these are supposed to be evil, racist, whatever, sexist things she's done.
00:24:10.000 And then they throw in, it's supposed to be feminist empowering.
00:24:13.000 She's got a terrible, horrible body.
00:24:15.000 And she shows it everywhere.
00:24:16.000 Isn't that good for feminism?
00:24:17.000 Aren't you sort of normalizing?
00:24:19.000 Like, they get mad at Barbie and all these unattainably thin Victoria's Secret models.
00:24:24.000 Now you're seeing the opposite on TV.
00:24:25.000 I thought that was good.
00:24:26.000 I thought you were representing.
00:24:28.000 I don't
00:24:48.000 If a college frat did that and said, we're going to take that fat chick and dress her up just like the supermodel.
00:24:55.000 Hey, look at her.
00:24:56.000 Look how stupid she looks.
00:24:58.000 I saw one where they dressed up this super fat chick as all the different Disney princesses.
00:25:04.000 So it's like, those women are, you know, not attainably beautiful, like these tiny waists, and then they dress up this fat pig, and she just looks like a sad pig clown.
00:25:13.000 It's so mean!
00:25:15.000 Because she doesn't instantly become beautiful, you just see a fat chick dressed up in a beautiful cartoons costume.
00:25:21.000 That's mean!
00:25:24.000 By the way, I have a theory about the dude from the Bleachers who dated her.
00:25:28.000 You know the Bleachers?
00:25:29.000 They had that hit, uh... What was the Bleachers big hit?
00:25:35.000 My brain doesn't work when I do these podcasts.
00:25:37.000 I'll stop recording and remember everything instantly.
00:25:41.000 I want to look pretty.
00:25:42.000 No.
00:25:42.000 I want to get better.
00:25:43.000 I want to get better.
00:25:45.000 Oh yeah, wait, that's the guy from Fun also.
00:25:48.000 The band Fun.
00:25:49.000 Yeah, he writes a lot of the Fun.
00:25:50.000 What a talented fucking dude.
00:25:52.000 Yeah, I hate that band, but I agree.
00:25:53.000 He's got a skill.
00:25:55.000 That's a guilty pleasure of mine.
00:25:56.000 I like that band.
00:25:57.000 Fun?
00:25:59.000 Yeah, dude, you like Bon Jovi and shit.
00:26:01.000 Dude!
00:26:03.000 A lot of the world likes Bon Jovi.
00:26:04.000 You know who likes the company that you share with liking Fun and the company I like with liking Bon Jovi?
00:26:10.000 I'm more, you shouldn't be proud of that.
00:26:12.000 Yeah, you know what, you got me.
00:26:14.000 But I'm ethnically a hipster.
00:26:16.000 I did my 27 and me thing and it came out 48% hipster.
00:26:22.000 So, like Mumford and Sons and all those bands I have to reluctantly enjoy.
00:26:25.000 Like Vampire Weekend, I want to hate them, but every time I listen to Vampire Weekend I go, these are the most talented musicians I've ever heard.
00:26:36.000 They would like to stab me, I'm sure.
00:26:40.000 It would be culturally insensitive for me to shame you for liking him any further.
00:26:43.000 Yes.
00:26:43.000 It's like, you know, if you're a gypsy and someone puts on some... With the things they shake in their hand, the castanets.
00:26:50.000 He just has to dance.
00:26:51.000 It's against his will.
00:26:52.000 I hear you.
00:26:53.000 Okay.
00:26:55.000 But I think he...
00:26:57.000 Was dating, um, Lena Dunham for, uh, ugly girl currency.
00:27:04.000 Allow me to explain.
00:27:06.000 When, like, I've heard guys who, uh, who, uh, are signing baseball players, they see the kid with a really ugly girlfriend and they go, this is a standup guy.
00:27:16.000 Hugh Jackman's infamous for having a terrible looking wife.
00:27:18.000 Well, she's just old.
00:27:35.000 And that's cool.
00:27:36.000 So you look at Hugh Jackman and his ugly old wife, and you think, he's a good guy.
00:27:44.000 He didn't trade her in for a younger model like a lot of rich, famous people do.
00:27:48.000 And I bet the bleachers guy thought, if I date Lena Dunham for like a year, I'll get the currency where I can now have the most vapid, big-titted blonde, and people will think that I'm still a good guy and I'm not a shallow creep.
00:28:06.000 They're old.
00:28:06.000 They're in their 60s.
00:28:07.000 I thought you just used him as a throwaway example, but he actually does work.
00:28:12.000 Okay, let's not be so pictorial in a podcast.
00:28:14.000 Let's save the picture stuff for the show.
00:28:20.000 Look up his girlfriend now.
00:28:22.000 I bet she's insanely hot.
00:28:25.000 But anyway.
00:28:27.000 Constantly being naked.
00:28:28.000 Tweeting a photo of herself wearing a scarf around her head like a hijab.
00:28:34.000 Jesus Lord.
00:28:35.000 I mean, I feel sorry for Lena Dunham at this point.
00:28:38.000 Can you imagine?
00:28:39.000 Like, how could you live up to standards?
00:28:40.000 They were mad at her for having an all-white cast.
00:28:42.000 They're mad at her for having a black cast.
00:28:44.000 Now she can't wear something like a hijab?
00:28:47.000 God forbid.
00:28:50.000 Accusing a Spanish magazine of airbrushing her photos, it did not.
00:28:55.000 What are we- where are we at now?
00:28:57.000 She was mistaken, okay?
00:28:59.000 Is that racist?
00:29:00.000 What does that mean?
00:29:02.000 I don't even get why you would be mad about that.
00:29:05.000 That's like other horrible things she's done.
00:29:07.000 Missed the train, or dropped a whole thing of hot coffee on someone's leg.
00:29:13.000 Is his new girlfriend hot?
00:29:14.000 Yeah, he was dating a lord for a little bit, and then now he's dating a model.
00:29:18.000 Yeah, you see?
00:29:20.000 It's like the stock market.
00:29:22.000 He needs his reputation to be good.
00:29:25.000 And it's funny, like Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth, he did the opposite.
00:29:29.000 So he had the coolest wife, Kim Gordon, the coolest wife in the world, and then she started getting old and he went, eh, I'm gonna just screw this intern and started dating a girl that's like 30 years younger than him.
00:29:41.000 His reputation is ruined.
00:29:41.000 Everyone sees him now as the guy who abandoned Kim Gordon for some young girl.
00:29:47.000 Go ahead.
00:29:48.000 That Lena Dunham article was Jewish or dog.
00:29:52.000 It was about her boyfriend at the time, which was that guy, Antonio... What's his face?
00:29:57.000 The Bleachers guy?
00:29:58.000 The guy from Bleachers, yeah.
00:29:59.000 He's Jewish?
00:30:00.000 That was about him.
00:30:01.000 Is he Jewish?
00:30:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:03.000 He's Jewish and his name's Antonio?
00:30:06.000 No, that might be his last name.
00:30:08.000 Oh.
00:30:08.000 I just said that up.
00:30:09.000 Hi, I'm Herschel Antonio.
00:30:10.000 I'm from the Jewish part of Sicily.
00:30:14.000 Alright, we're constantly in between photos.
00:30:19.000 Comparing Bill Cosby to the Holocaust.
00:30:21.000 Yeah, that's terrible.
00:30:22.000 Jack Antonoff.
00:30:24.000 Jack Antonoff.
00:30:24.000 Oh, that makes more sense.
00:30:26.000 Uh, never use the Holocaust in an analogy, obviously.
00:30:30.000 But, she was being hyperbolic.
00:30:32.000 That's the only really genuinely bad one I've seen so far.
00:30:35.000 So, she shouldn't have said that.
00:30:38.000 Whatever.
00:30:39.000 Giving Horvath a brown baby at the end of Girls.
00:30:43.000 Um, isn't Horovath- I assume that Horovath is a brown person.
00:30:48.000 Like, did she have two white people have a brown baby come out?
00:30:52.000 That's just biologically wrong.
00:30:54.000 I don't understand this.
00:30:56.000 And here's where it gets even weirder.
00:30:57.000 And then in brackets they say, and casting a baby that was Puerto Rican and Haitian, not half Pakistani, as the script dictated.
00:31:05.000 Do you know how hard it is to get a baby?
00:31:08.000 Clint Eastwood, in that movie about the guy who was shot, that awesome sniper, I forget what it was called.
00:31:16.000 In that movie, Clint Eastwood couldn't get a baby.
00:31:19.000 So, they made the baby plastic, and it ruined the movie for me.
00:31:23.000 It's a really- American Sniper, maybe?
00:31:25.000 It's a really good movie, except they have a plastic child in it!
00:31:29.000 And he's Clint Eastwood!
00:31:30.000 I hear he's notoriously cheap.
00:31:37.000 American Sniper.
00:31:37.000 He ruined the movie.
00:31:39.000 Like, wait a day.
00:31:41.000 It's so obviously a plastic baby.
00:31:45.000 So yeah, I'm sorry I didn't get the exact Puerto Rican and Haitian and not half Pakistani.
00:31:51.000 That's pretty darn good.
00:31:53.000 If you get a half-black Hispanic when you're doing a half-Pakistani.
00:31:58.000 In fact, I bet if you met a guy who was half-Pakistani and he told you that he was Puerto Rican and Haitian, you'd believe him.
00:32:07.000 You go, well, your hair's pretty straight for a Haitian, but otherwise, I buy it.
00:32:13.000 Look at this, this cast of, this list of sins.
00:32:16.000 Comparing the reading of negative Jezebel coverage, which was brutal, to getting beaten in the face by an abusive husband.
00:32:25.000 Okay, maybe I'm, the Holocaust thing was terrible, but in this one, she's clearly being hyperbolic.
00:32:32.000 Like, you're killing, bullshitting.
00:32:34.000 I was arguing about this with someone the other day where they go,
00:32:37.000 When you say things, though, and you say they're jokes, you're hiding behind the humor.
00:32:42.000 And I go, no, I'm just being colorful.
00:32:44.000 Like when Trump says that he can, he could shoot someone on 56th Street, middle of 56th Street, and get away with it.
00:32:49.000 He's not going to literally run around like Jesse James, assassinating people on the streets of New York.
00:32:55.000 And no, he couldn't get away with it.
00:32:57.000 He's just saying in a colorful way that he has a lot of support from people.
00:33:03.000 And she's saying in a colorful way that they really hurt her.
00:33:05.000 Like, we used to say that all the time.
00:33:06.000 AIDS.
00:33:07.000 How do you feel?
00:33:08.000 Dude, I have AIDS today.
00:33:09.000 When you have a really bad hangover.
00:33:11.000 Well, you're trivializing AIDS.
00:33:12.000 I would be if I seriously meant that my hangover is as bad as dying from acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
00:33:19.000 If I was making a formal statement, yes, that would be denigrating to the millions of people who died from that horrible disease.
00:33:26.000 It's called
00:33:28.000 The way we all talk in bars.
00:33:30.000 The way you talk to your brother when you're alone with him.
00:33:33.000 That's what it's getting to, too.
00:33:35.000 You're only allowed to speak when you're alone and in a safe space, and you know the person won't be telling anyone that you said these horrible exaggerations.
00:33:43.000 Ooh, exaggerations!
00:33:44.000 I'm so scared!
00:33:45.000 Oh, this is one of my favorite ones.
00:33:46.000 Accusing NFL player Odell Beckham Jr.
00:33:49.000 of not wanting to sleep with her.
00:33:51.000 That's exactly what happened.
00:33:53.000 She was at a game and Odell Beckham Jr.
00:33:55.000 was ignoring her.
00:33:56.000 And she was like, he'd never want to sleep with me.
00:34:00.000 That's just an accurate statement.
00:34:02.000 He was ignoring her.
00:34:03.000 He does have absolutely no interest in sleeping with her.
00:34:06.000 We all have eyeballs.
00:34:08.000 He's a eight.
00:34:10.000 She's a... I feel generous saying five.
00:34:14.000 I'm going to go with 4.8.
00:34:15.000 And eights don't fuck 4.8s, especially Odell Beckham Jr., who's probably the most famous football player in the country right now.
00:34:23.000 And he's also got the blonde hair thing.
00:34:25.000 So he's, you know, he's at fashion shows and hipsters want to sleep with him.
00:34:28.000 It's not just like, you know, jock chicks that find him attractive.
00:34:32.000 He's popular and cool.
00:34:34.000 He's got like Pharrell status.
00:34:37.000 I sound like I'm kissing his ass a little too hard here, right?
00:34:40.000 I don't want to sleep with him, don't get me wrong.
00:34:42.000 But someone of that level of popularity is not interested in Lena Dunham, and she merely pointed that out, and I don't know what the charge here is.
00:34:49.000 Is that racist?
00:34:50.000 No, it's factist.
00:34:54.000 Saying she disliked India because of visible poverty.
00:34:59.000 What the fuck's the matter with that?
00:35:01.000 Robin Quivers, is that her name?
00:35:02.000 I always confuse her with Robin Givens.
00:35:05.000 Robin Quivers, who's, by the way, I'm reading her autobiography, and it is amazing.
00:35:10.000 She was raped by her dad.
00:35:12.000 All of these people did horrible things to her, but she sort of, she became kind of anti-white when she was in college, because some friend turned her back on her in a party.
00:35:21.000 And, uh, um, she was pretty radical.
00:35:25.000 Like, she was, she's obsessed with Muhammad Ali, and she's really into the Black Panthers and stuff.
00:35:30.000 Like, in col- I guess everyone in college is radical, right?
00:35:33.000 She's, has she shown her tits a lot before?
00:35:34.000 Is that photoshopped?
00:35:36.000 Why would she do that?
00:35:38.000 She's pretty kind of square.
00:35:40.000 She's a military chick.
00:35:42.000 She was in the military.
00:35:42.000 I think it's fake.
00:35:43.000 Anyway, so she went to India.
00:35:48.000 I'm talking about Robin now.
00:35:49.000 She went to India.
00:35:50.000 She got in the car and they took her to the hotel.
00:35:54.000 She got out of the taxi and
00:35:56.000 Got back in the taxi and said, take me back to the airport.
00:35:59.000 She was in India for half an hour.
00:36:01.000 Total.
00:36:03.000 And, you know, it's probably a 15-hour plane ride, so 30 hours for half... It is pretty darn disgusting there.
00:36:08.000 And I know people who go there a lot, and they said, one of the problems with all this public defecation, and they have, like, huge ad campaigns to say, please stop shitting in the street.
00:36:17.000 One of the problems is, it also rains like crazy there.
00:36:21.000 So you have feces all over the roads and then it pours with rain and now there's wet feces and then a truck drives by and splashes it all over you.
00:36:31.000 So you're constantly being battered with diarrhea.
00:36:37.000 Now, is that dirty?
00:36:38.000 Maybe I gotta get my Webster's.
00:36:40.000 But is having diarrhea hurled at you dirty?
00:36:43.000 Is that, uh, uncomfortable?
00:36:46.000 India, like, they wash in the Yangtze River, and there's bodies floating down.
00:36:50.000 You'll be washing your arms, I don't know why you're washing there, and there'll just be, like, a human hand float by.
00:36:56.000 It's India's biggest problem by far.
00:36:58.000 I mean, why poop is a big problem in India?
00:37:01.000 Cities and rural areas are like that.
00:37:03.000 Human feces is a major problem in India.
00:37:05.000 So I'm sorry if I said I don't like the visible poverty there.
00:37:10.000 What are you supposed to say?
00:37:11.000 The Taj Mahal is nice.
00:37:13.000 Yes, it is.
00:37:14.000 It's not all the Taj Mahal.
00:37:16.000 It's not all the Taj Mahal.
00:37:19.000 That should be on their license plates.
00:37:22.000 Oh my god, that would be a weird t-shirt.
00:37:24.000 If you had a picture of someone defecating in the street in India and it said, India, it's not all the Taj Mahal.
00:37:30.000 The city that never flushes.
00:37:33.000 The big crabble.
00:37:39.000 What we're saying right now is much more offensive than what she said.
00:37:41.000 I dislike India because of visible poverty.
00:37:43.000 Yes.
00:37:44.000 I think India dislikes the visible poverty.
00:37:46.000 And then here's my favorite one, and this sums up the whole poll quote, the whole list.
00:37:51.000 Apologizing, but never learning.
00:37:55.000 You know what you're just hearing right now?
00:37:57.000 You're hearing a cannibal.
00:37:59.000 That's how cannibals talk.
00:38:00.000 They sit there, these leftist cannibals, feeding on her corpse.
00:38:04.000 They got blood all over their chin, and she's apologizing and apologizing.
00:38:08.000 They look down at her bleeding cadaver, and they go, Yeah, you're apologizing, but you're not learning.
00:38:16.000 Just fat is falling off of their teeth.
00:38:18.000 Hey, why are you still eating her?
00:38:20.000 She apologized.
00:38:21.000 No, she wasn't learning.
00:38:23.000 I need more learning.
00:38:25.000 Yeah, yeah, she had a brown baby that was not exactly the right race.
00:38:29.000 Anyway, it gets crazier.
00:38:37.000 Cruel, cruel joke God played.
00:38:40.000 He gave her endometriosis and made it so painful that she didn't even want to wait to freeze her eggs.
00:38:50.000 Which sounds suspicious.
00:38:51.000 I mean, it doesn't take long to freeze your eggs.
00:38:53.000 I think God may be a jerk.
00:38:57.000 Hey God, if you're listening, that was a bit rich.
00:39:01.000 Tone it down a notch there, big guy.
00:39:04.000 Tone it down a notch.
00:39:06.000 I make fun of Lena Dunham all the time, but I didn't want her to lose her ovaries.
00:39:11.000 I wanted her to get just what I want for all women.
00:39:14.000 I want them to get a ring on it.
00:39:15.000 Be fulfilled.
00:39:17.000 5% of women I think shouldn't have kids.
00:39:21.000 95% should.
00:39:22.000 But when I look at my old high school pictures on Facebook before I was kicked off, I would see about 50% no kid rate.
00:39:28.000 And I grew up normal middle class in the burbs.
00:39:33.000 So, she's in Brooklyn, and Brooklyn obviously has different parts.
00:39:36.000 South Brooklyn is all working class, lots of cops.
00:39:39.000 Coney Island, you got all cops and retired firemen and all that stuff.
00:39:43.000 And it's Italian.
00:39:44.000 And then there's East New York, which is a murder a day, basically.
00:39:48.000 It's like South Central or South Side of Chicago.
00:39:50.000 Very fucking dangerous.
00:39:51.000 It's all black.
00:39:53.000 Then you have hipster Williamsburg, which is touching the Orthodox Jews and the Puerto Ricans are all sort of in one area.
00:40:00.000 Sort of obviously segregated, but
00:40:03.000 And then the hipsters are sort of intertwangled into that.
00:40:10.000 But then you have places like Park Slope.
00:40:15.000 And that's where all the yuppies and the lesbians who adopted kids.
00:40:18.000 It's probably the most kid-friendly.
00:40:20.000 Probably because there's a big park there and there's... What's it called?
00:40:23.000 St.
00:40:23.000 Anne's?
00:40:23.000 A really good school there that costs a billion dollars a year.
00:40:26.000 I think it's like 40 grand a year to send your kid there.
00:40:29.000 Can you believe that?
00:40:31.000 Better be a hell of an education.
00:40:33.000 My kid better come out playing the piano and speaking Japanese without an accent.
00:40:38.000 So, she starts seeing all these prams.
00:40:42.000 And she, it reminds her of her infertility, and it depresses her.
00:40:45.000 So she's moving to the West Village.
00:40:48.000 Remember I said New York City's an elephant's graveyard for ovaries?
00:40:51.000 Isn't this a sad and cruel example?
00:40:53.000 I guess I'm being cruel just talking about it.
00:40:56.000 But the West Village, speaking of graveyards, is dead.
00:41:01.000 Here in New York City, the West Village used to be this vibrant, amazing, exciting place.
00:41:07.000 Beautiful, run by gays.
00:41:09.000 It's like, you know, the Jews got Israel.
00:41:11.000 Well, at Camp David, they decided that the gays could have the West Village.
00:41:15.000 By the way, the Jews stayed in Israel.
00:41:18.000 The gays in New York, they've taken over Hell's Kitchen.
00:41:23.000 I go to the Knights of Columbus meetings there, and I go to get a hamburger, and I see guys in leather pants with feather boas.
00:41:29.000 It looked like bad casting for a gay part of town.
00:41:32.000 Like, it looked like, you know, sometimes Canadian movies are just a little bit off.
00:41:37.000 It looked like a Canadian movie where they're doing a gay part of town, and you're just watching, you're going, oh, for crying out loud, a feather boa?
00:41:42.000 They don't wear feather boas.
00:41:44.000 What are you doing?
00:41:47.000 Um, yeah, and you see them holding hands and making out in the East Village, and you're like, you guys have your own entire neighborhood, what are you doing here?
00:41:54.000 But, I used to work down there, so we'd go out and drink, and there's this awesome bar, forget the name of it, I only know it by sight, and it's kind of hard to find anything there, because it's a maze, it's not a grid in the West Village.
00:42:02.000 But it was like Archie Bunker homosexuals.
00:42:05.000 So tough guys, smokes little tiny cigars outside, and they just fucking drink bud.
00:42:12.000 And they hate these little fucking twinks coming around here.
00:42:16.000 They never worked a day in their lives, these little fags.
00:42:19.000 You know, they don't know how to make out with a dude.
00:42:21.000 All they want is sex, they don't even know how to cuddle.
00:42:25.000 It's such a weird dichotomy, because you're seeing a typical old man dive bar, but there's like a rainbow flag, and they're listening to Vegas show tunes.
00:42:34.000 But that is all dying now.
00:42:37.000 The hospital closed down, there's a big hospital there, and the rents have just gone up and up and up.
00:42:43.000 And there's all these great little places that are shutting down.
00:42:46.000 There's a great tavern there called the White Horse Tavern, and it's got an incredible history to it.
00:42:52.000 Jack Kerouac used to hang out there, and Bob Dylan, and James Baldwin, and Hunter S. Thompson, and Jim Morrison, and Norman Mailer.
00:42:59.000 Norman Mailer, by the way, whose son I know, and his son's name is Johnny Buffalo.
00:43:04.000 That's my son's name.
00:43:06.000 And I go, what's it like growing up with the name Johnny Buffalo?
00:43:09.000 And he said, it's awesome, you get a lot of chicks.
00:43:12.000 Norman Mailer was fake dialing in Indian into his kid.
00:43:15.000 My kid has real Indian.
00:43:18.000 Any hizzle.
00:43:20.000 There's a great fight you gotta look up at home.
00:43:23.000 Rip Torn fighting Norman Mailer.
00:43:26.000 And Johnny Buffalo's in it.
00:43:27.000 He's a little four-year-old in it begging them to stop.
00:43:29.000 He's crying.
00:43:30.000 But they have a good old-fashioned baby boomer brawl.
00:43:33.000 Back before everyone called the cops on everything.
00:43:36.000 It's called... What's it called?
00:43:37.000 Rip Torn versus Norman Mailer.
00:43:40.000 Yeah, they're just getting a fight in a field.
00:43:42.000 It's so old-school, Dad.
00:43:45.000 There's wives hanging around.
00:43:46.000 They're all like hippies on a commune, but I guess hippies got ornery sometimes.
00:43:52.000 Anyway, you can look that up on your own time.
00:43:54.000 So the White Horse Tavern is still there, but Two Boots, I think the first Two Boots was there.
00:43:58.000 It's a great pizza place with all kinds of weird flavors.
00:44:00.000 It's gone.
00:44:01.000 We're good to go.
00:44:01.000 So hospitals
00:44:19.000 And they would make fries the English way, the real way, like blanching them and hand cutting them and letting them sit in water overnight to get the whatever it is out, the starch, and then deep frying them.
00:44:29.000 Unbelievable.
00:44:29.000 The fish and chips at Assault and Battery are so good.
00:44:33.000 They're raising their rent like 50 grand.
00:44:34.000 They have a GoFundMe out.
00:44:36.000 Tea and Sympathy do.
00:44:37.000 Tea and Sympathy is the same as Assault and Battery.
00:44:40.000 They're both connected.
00:44:40.000 One sells, like, British trinkets and the other has fish and chips.
00:44:44.000 Awesome place.
00:44:44.000 They've got a GoFundMe campaign you should donate to if you care about anything New York.
00:44:51.000 Yeah, she said she owes about $60,000 in taxes and that the combined rent for the three businesses is $30,000 a month.
00:44:58.000 And the landlord has just said he's increasing everything.
00:45:02.000 These massive debts.
00:45:05.000 He's just thrust this tax bill on her.
00:45:07.000 So the reason I bring up all that is to say that if you go to the West Village now, you see a lot of empty storefronts.
00:45:13.000 It's lost a lot of its color.
00:45:14.000 I'm sure the Jezebel feminists will be happy with that.
00:45:16.000 They hate color, right?
00:45:18.000 And it's a lot of old people.
00:45:20.000 Not as many, like, there's, of course, it's still gay, but there's a lot of old people just sitting around, wandering around, and they're there because they have grandfathered in rents.
00:45:28.000 So they've probably been there since the 80s and they probably pay like $400 a month.
00:45:32.000 And their landlords are just staring at them waiting for them to die so they can go from 400 to 5,000 or 7,000 a month.
00:45:42.000 So it's about a bunch of people dying.
00:45:44.000 And then you have Lena Dunham in there and she says, I like being around old people.
00:45:48.000 I'm not reminded of my infertility.
00:45:51.000 And obviously I'm not saying when you promote select culture, your ovaries fall out of your body.
00:45:57.000 The truth of the matter is like a very hyperbolic metaphor come true.
00:46:02.000 But I am saying, in the cruel, just, poetic, it's not poetic justice, that's a horrible thing to say, this whole cruel irony is a better way to put it, is that she was part of this hipster culture which is all about ignoring your ovaries and just partying like sex in the city, and then she's wandering around the West Village with old people and no ovaries.
00:46:23.000 Like, that's a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
00:46:27.000 God is mean sometimes.
00:46:29.000 What a cruel joke to play on her.
00:46:32.000 And there she is abandoned.
00:46:34.000 And the way that all of her fellow feminists have been at her non-stop since she did all this, just punishing her again and again.
00:46:42.000 It's just so fucking harsh.
00:46:45.000 It goes to my theory that when women... Owen Benjamin talks about this.
00:46:50.000 He says women have this loving nature and they're more affectionate than men and they want to have kids.
00:46:56.000 But when you rip that away from them, they get malicious.
00:47:00.000 And the way Lena Dunham is treated by her fellow females, the way they cannibalize her corpse, and the way they say apologizing but never learning, it's just fucking sinister.
00:47:12.000 Just so cruel.
00:47:14.000 I mean, you broke her, guys.
00:47:15.000 Congratulations.
00:47:17.000 She's sick.
00:47:17.000 She lost her ability to give birth, and then you just kicked her when she was down, and now she's wandering around with old people.
00:47:24.000 Who's next?
00:47:25.000 Who's next on your list?
00:47:26.000 Who else are you gonna destroy so they can wander around aimlessly with a bunch of geriatrics who are literally waiting to die and surrounded with people who wish they would die today?
00:47:37.000 Poor girl.
00:47:39.000 Well,
00:47:40.000 We'll see what happens with her, but as much as I hate every word that's ever come out of her- No, I don't hate every word that's ever come out of her mouth, sorry.
00:47:46.000 As much as I hate everything she stands for, I think her story is a good example of everything that's wrong with the left these days.
00:47:56.000 We really are splitting into two countries with irreconcilable differences, and the two countries do not see the same thing.
00:48:04.000 One side thinks the other half are Nazis, and the Nazi half thinks the other side is insane.
00:48:11.000 It's like Charles Krauthammer used to say, they think we're evil, we just think they're wrong.
00:48:19.000 And that's my extra-long Lena Dunham episode.
00:48:21.000 I like you more than a friend and now that I'm back from Jamaica I'm going to be doing these as regularly as I used to.
00:48:27.000 So at least twice a week.
00:48:29.000 Sorry for not pumping out more content.
00:48:32.000 Bye.