Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #109 - MATTY JAMBOREE (Part 1)


Summary

Gavin and Matty are back with a new episode of Get Off My Lawn, a new segment on the show hosted by Gavin McGinnis and co-hosted by Matty Odell. This week, Gavin is joined by a guest who's not only a good friend of the show, but also a close childhood friend of Gavin's. The boys discuss a variety of topics, including Artie Lange, guns, and more! Get off My Lawn is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New York City is a hotbed of creativity and creativity, and we're here to bring you the best of what's going on in the minds and hearts of creatives across the country and around the world. Get on My Lawn! Get On My Lawn!! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's happening in the world of music, comedy, and social media. Got a burning question you want us to answer? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. or text "ELT" to 741741 and we'll get a live recording of your question answered. Thanks to our sponsor, Modwalls! for sponsoring the show! Subscribe to our new show on Podchaser.fm/getoffmylawn Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad-free listening experience. Subscribe and review our new episodes on the podchangers and more. Enjoy this week's new music from Japanese Panther and The Tijuana Panthers! Send us your thoughts and musings from your thoughts on the band Tijuana Panther! Music from The Japanese Panther from the Japanese Panther and other awesome bands from The J.P. Panthers on the J. Panther and the JOKERPANTS We'll be posting them on Tuesday, July 24th, 6/27, 7/9/19th, @ 7/28, @ 9/30, @ 8/9, Thanks for listening to this episode of J. Thank you for listening and supporting the show? Gave us some love, Gavin x - Gotta get it out there! XOXO! Love ya'll! -Gavin xoxo, Gorms, Cheers, Gav and Gav & Geezy -PJ & Gaffy


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!
00:00:41.000 Who's that again?
00:00:41.000 Japanese Panther?
00:00:45.000 Tijuana Panthers from Long Beach, California.
00:00:50.000 Reader submission.
00:00:53.000 Happy to get them.
00:00:54.000 I would say two-thirds of our reader submissions for music are awesome bands.
00:00:58.000 I never heard of that.
00:01:01.000 I'm happy to hear.
00:01:02.000 We have Matty Odell, co-hosting by the bar.
00:01:05.000 Everybody, hello.
00:01:06.000 Just like Watch What Happens Live.
00:01:08.000 Andy Cohen has a sexy hunk behind the bar when he does Watch What Happens Live.
00:01:14.000 We're the same way.
00:01:16.000 We know people want eye candy.
00:01:18.000 We're not stupid.
00:01:20.000 We know sex sells.
00:01:23.000 So we have a gorgeous, sexy hunk.
00:01:26.000 I mean, I do joke, but I bet a lot of women want to fuck you.
00:01:29.000 I've had my fair share.
00:01:31.000 Well, you're a bad boy.
00:01:33.000 You're a rough boy.
00:01:34.000 I'm a rough boy.
00:01:35.000 I want to get bit and kissed.
00:01:42.000 I can't tell you how many beautiful women, including Kat, that chick who was a drug addict, Kat Marnell, asked me about Artie Lange.
00:01:55.000 They're like, is Artie Lange single?
00:01:56.000 What's going on with him?
00:01:58.000 I go, he's a fat, drunken, fuckin' drug addict derelict.
00:02:02.000 And they're like, yeah, exactly.
00:02:04.000 Oh, we were talking about that the other day.
00:02:09.000 He's punishing himself with his nose, where he's saying, I'm not gonna give me a new nose until I know that I can trust me.
00:02:17.000 Like if your kid crashes a car, you don't buy him a new car.
00:02:21.000 So his kid is him, and the car is his fucking nose.
00:02:25.000 And he's saying, I'm not getting you a nose until I know you're not going to sniff it away.
00:02:32.000 Demons.
00:02:33.000 The monkeys.
00:02:35.000 On the back.
00:02:36.000 On the back.
00:02:37.000 Before we get started with today's show, I'd like to thank Tactical Walls.
00:02:41.000 They're going to be in here any second now.
00:02:44.000 By the way, August is going to be a crazy month.
00:02:47.000 I'm going to be gone.
00:02:47.000 I'm renting an RV.
00:02:48.000 I'm going to go check out Tennessee and North Carolina and South Carolina.
00:02:52.000 Please email me places to visit.
00:02:54.000 I'm going to go to Dollywood, of course.
00:02:57.000 And I'd love to meet up with some of you.
00:03:00.000 Just don't be Antifa in disguise or I'll slit your throat.
00:03:07.000 But Modwall's gonna come into the studio and build us a bunch of Modwalls.
00:03:11.000 Nice!
00:03:12.000 For everything from, unfortunately we live in a shithole country called New York, where we can't have any of these beautiful guns.
00:03:19.000 What are these, Matty?
00:03:20.000 That one you're pointing to is a SCAR-17.
00:03:23.000 A SCAR-17?
00:03:23.000 Yeah.
00:03:25.000 It can be either heavy or light.
00:03:26.000 There's a SCAR-17 Heavy and a SCAR-17 Light.
00:03:31.000 There's different rounds.
00:03:32.000 And what are they, like one trigger per shot?
00:03:34.000 No, they can be full auto, but it's a high-powered weapon.
00:03:38.000 They can be full auto?
00:03:39.000 Oh yeah.
00:03:40.000 Can they take a .30-06?
00:03:42.000 The heavy is a .30 caliber round, which is the same as a .30-06.
00:03:47.000 And the light can take .22s?
00:03:49.000 I believe it's maybe a 5.56, like a .223.
00:03:52.000 Here's a retarded question.
00:03:54.000 Is there a gun
00:03:55.000 That you can put any bullet you wanted to.
00:03:58.000 A giant .30-06 or a .22.
00:04:01.000 Some guns will shoot different rounds, similar rounds.
00:04:05.000 Like a .410 can shoot, I believe, a .44.
00:04:09.000 You can use them interchangeably in these revolvers they make.
00:04:15.000 But, um, you'd have to change the whole barrel because of the way the bullet from the projectile... Oh, of course, yeah, the barrel's gonna change everything.
00:04:22.000 Right.
00:04:23.000 The .22's gonna be bouncing around in a .30.
00:04:25.000 Right, it really wouldn't go anywhere because it needs, when the round goes into the chamber, into the barrel, you know, it's very snug.
00:04:34.000 Of course, yeah, that's the whole point.
00:04:36.000 In order for the bullet to go forward, it needs
00:04:39.000 After the primer gets hit and the explosion, the projectile shoots out.
00:04:44.000 Like in, um, if your house went on fire and you had a box of bullets in there.
00:04:48.000 Like, yeah, the bullets would explode, but they're not gonna go, like, shooting into you, like, to kill you.
00:04:54.000 Because when the powder inside the shell explodes, there's nothing to make the projectile go straight.
00:05:02.000 Right.
00:05:02.000 It just pops off and then they, you know, drop.
00:05:04.000 It's just a little mini-bomb.
00:05:05.000 Yeah, it wouldn't really hurt ya.
00:05:07.000 By the way, when you're watching this, people south of the Mason-Dixon line and everywhere cool in the world, and you see me being a retard about guns, you should get mad at society.
00:05:17.000 You should get mad at New York.
00:05:19.000 Not me.
00:05:21.000 I'm a product of my environment.
00:05:22.000 Get mad at my environment.
00:05:24.000 It's sort of like with black dudes, where they're like, some Asian lady grabbed her purse.
00:05:28.000 Get mad at the black dudes who robbed purses.
00:05:30.000 Get mad at the fact that I will never touch one of these.
00:05:34.000 That's fucked up.
00:05:36.000 I'm a victim.
00:05:37.000 Anyway, this shoots any caliber.
00:05:39.000 You can change... 38, 350, yeah.
00:05:43.000 You'd have to change the cylinder.
00:05:47.000 Don't you have to change the cylinder?
00:05:50.000 As Matty just said.
00:05:51.000 It looks like, you know what?
00:05:52.000 There's this other rifle that does exactly that.
00:05:54.000 You can, you take out the barrel and you switch it out.
00:05:58.000 Right.
00:05:58.000 And it's, it's kind of a goofy thing.
00:05:59.000 At that point, it's, why not just grab a different gun?
00:06:02.000 It's, it's because, it's like end of the world type shit where you're scrounging for, for ammo, you know?
00:06:07.000 So like, any ammo that you find.
00:06:08.000 Oh, so maybe that barrel has different settings.
00:06:10.000 Yeah.
00:06:10.000 And when you click it, the barrel changes.
00:06:14.000 Looks like it, yeah.
00:06:16.000 No, that doesn't make sense, because the wide barrel would have small barrels in the way.
00:06:20.000 Anyway, this is all part of a tacticalwalls.com ad.
00:06:24.000 Use GAVIN for 20% off all orders.
00:06:27.000 That is tacticalwalls.com.
00:06:30.000 Promo code GAVIN15.
00:06:31.000 They both work.
00:06:32.000 GAVIN, GAVIN15.
00:06:32.000 It's 20% off.
00:06:35.000 They have a huge variety, by the way, of promo codes in case you mistype.
00:06:39.000 Lowercase, uppercase, that's fine.
00:06:41.000 And the mod wall is just the tip of the iceberg with these guys.
00:06:45.000 We've got the issue box.
00:06:47.000 We've got fucking shit for baseball.
00:06:51.000 Stuff for a place to hide your guns and mirrors.
00:06:56.000 You know, I sold a house a long time ago and the new owners knew who I was and they were very nervous about it.
00:07:02.000 And they go, are there any weapons lying around?
00:07:07.000 Because we have young children, they might come across them.
00:07:10.000 I don't know.
00:07:11.000 I mean, I have so many like mirrors and shelves and things where if you double push them, they open up into a huge arsenal that your child might discover.
00:07:19.000 I've forgotten them all.
00:07:21.000 I like the one where... You have so many, you forgot where they all are.
00:07:23.000 I forgot where they are.
00:07:24.000 And that's one thing with gun owners, they always forget where their guns are.
00:07:29.000 It's a problem.
00:07:30.000 It's a major problem.
00:07:31.000 Like my blur.
00:07:33.000 Like your blur?
00:07:34.000 That one, you know, that's in your stairs.
00:07:36.000 So when you're walking up the stairs, and they're like, bring us to your stuff, and you're bringing them upstairs, and then you kick the stair, and then it launches the shotgun in your hand.
00:07:42.000 Wait, is that a real thing?
00:07:42.000 Because that sounds like a cool one.
00:07:44.000 I'm making it up.
00:07:46.000 Well, I'm sure Tactical Walls is watching right now, and they would do that.
00:07:50.000 You just, like, give it a tap?
00:07:51.000 You kick the one stair, like, two times, and then it launches a shotgun into your hands.
00:07:55.000 I like that you're blurry.
00:07:57.000 It shows how retarded you are.
00:07:58.000 Thank you.
00:07:59.000 Wait.
00:08:02.000 TacticalWalls.com.
00:08:04.000 So, as you know, the way this show works is everything is free.
00:08:08.000 For half an hour, we put this on the podcast world.
00:08:12.000 Everyone can see what we're up to.
00:08:14.000 And then we go behind the paywall and we take calls.
00:08:21.000 Matty's here.
00:08:23.000 We've got a lot of sponsors.
00:08:24.000 There's a lot of stuff to handle.
00:08:25.000 So the idea of also getting into the news and talking about Proud Boys at the Wii Spa and the inauguration.
00:08:36.000 Too much to cover.
00:08:36.000 I've yet to meet him, but I'm interested.
00:08:55.000 Uh, a hermit, so he doesn't, he didn't know our pub existed for many years.
00:09:00.000 He hates, uh, my town.
00:09:02.000 Oh.
00:09:03.000 The neighbor's complaining about his tree, cause it's partly on her property, and she's worried the branches are gonna fall and hit her garage.
00:09:12.000 Perfect example of where I live.
00:09:14.000 And being MAGA in 2021 in New York State, I shouldn't say New York State, but like New York and the surrounding suburbs, your great upstate, is like being gay in the 50s.
00:09:29.000 And you, I would assume the way it was in the 50s is you'd say like, silk feels really good.
00:09:36.000 It's a very nice fabric.
00:09:39.000 And then the other guy has like silk panties on and then you guys... So with him, I was like, I was talking about the owner of the bar.
00:09:49.000 They did new cement in front of his bar and he wanted to write his name in it or write the name of the bar.
00:09:55.000 And I go, that's vandalism.
00:09:57.000 And the guys for the January 6th meandering are getting arrested.
00:10:00.000 No, not arrested.
00:10:01.000 They're getting charged now.
00:10:02.000 But it's not insurrection.
00:10:05.000 Which is a capital offense and you have to be murdered.
00:10:08.000 Unless you're John Walker Lynd.
00:10:09.000 Level 42.
00:10:10.000 And they don't fucking murder you because you're a Muslim.
00:10:13.000 Muslim privilege.
00:10:15.000 Um... So, it's, it's, it's the most serious offense, right?
00:10:21.000 Uh, treason and, and uh, I think treason and insurrection would be at level 42.
00:10:26.000 Which is the highest level on uh, offense levels on the uh, federal sentencing chart.
00:10:32.000 They should call it 1.
00:10:34.000 It goes from 1 to 6 and 0 to 42.
00:10:37.000 So it's 1?
00:10:39.000 No, 42 is the highest level.
00:10:41.000 That's treason.
00:10:42.000 So what do you mean 1 to 6?
00:10:44.000 Oh, on the top, that's your criminal history level.
00:10:46.000 Oh, I see.
00:10:47.000 If you have an extensive criminal history and you have no criminal history, you'll be a 1.
00:10:52.000 I got you.
00:10:52.000 If you have an extensive one, you'll be a 6.
00:10:55.000 And then you have the offense levels that go down the right hand side.
00:10:58.000 They go from 1 to 42.
00:11:01.000 So the first guy got eight months, um, and you go, all right, but if it's a 42, it should be, they should be murdered.
00:11:08.000 I'm not saying that you should get the electric chair for the insurrection.
00:11:11.000 I call it the meandering and the charges are showing as much.
00:11:16.000 They're saying, um,
00:11:20.000 They're saying trespassing and Vandalism wait a minute.
00:11:27.000 I just remembered something Ryan.
00:11:29.000 I I said to Our South African friend.
00:11:31.000 We're gonna call him tonight Willam.
00:11:34.000 Yeah, sir.
00:11:34.000 Yeah, can you grab my phone sure?
00:11:38.000 It's up Maddy's ass It's on vibrate too, so just have him relax.
00:11:44.000 Yeah, I
00:11:46.000 I said bring my phone because I left it at his house.
00:11:49.000 I think it's by there on the brown couch.
00:11:53.000 He's so used to being inside that when he brings anything he smuggles it up his ass in a balloon.
00:11:58.000 One time he brought a six pack to a party and it was in a black balloon.
00:12:02.000 On the east coast you would call it, you would boof it.
00:12:06.000 Boofing, right.
00:12:07.000 And then on the west coast they call it keistering.
00:12:09.000 Eastering.
00:12:10.000 Keistering.
00:12:11.000 You gotta keister that.
00:12:17.000 Here we go.
00:12:20.000 It's really going to be exceptionally difficult for me to do that because that will be 3am my time in the first place.
00:12:27.000 And secondly, things are like it's it's all the shit here and also
00:12:35.000 There's very very bad signal and yeah it's just like a proper hunting trip I think if we do an interview I think we should just do it Monday if that's okay like I know I've said that we can maybe do it on the weekend while I'm here but yeah that was a stupid thing to say in the first place so... So that's a no?
00:12:56.000 Should I just call him anyway?
00:12:57.000 I've just been rejected.
00:12:59.000 No.
00:13:00.000 No, it's 3 a.m.
00:13:02.000 Can you play the You Have Hurt Me Today?
00:13:02.000 Yeah, well.
00:13:05.000 Because Willem has hurt me today.
00:13:05.000 Oh, of course.
00:13:10.000 He's known as a white supremacist, by the way, because he's concerned about people getting massacred on a daily basis, which they are.
00:13:20.000 Doesn't that show you where we will be if we start getting massacred?
00:13:23.000 You have a problem with being ethnocided?
00:13:26.000 Well, you're a white supremacist.
00:13:29.000 Um... You have hurt me today.
00:13:35.000 Sorry that you've been hurt.
00:13:36.000 We'll get him on next week.
00:13:37.000 You want to see something funny?
00:13:38.000 Yeah.
00:13:39.000 Just to lighten this up a little bit.
00:13:41.000 This is... Are we getting too dark already?
00:13:44.000 I'm hiding things that he wouldn't want to see, but look at this exchange.
00:13:50.000 This is hilarious.
00:13:54.000 You just sent a screenshot, like three screenshots, and he's like, why did you send this?
00:14:00.000 You know, I have a theory about South Africa.
00:14:04.000 Zuma is killing them all because they asked for human rights.
00:14:09.000 Right?
00:14:11.000 But with the South African accent, you hear human rats.
00:14:16.000 So Zuma's so stupid, he's scared of human rats.
00:14:20.000 Like rats that are part human.
00:14:22.000 That's why he's killing all the whites.
00:14:24.000 Because they want rats.
00:14:26.000 Human rats.
00:14:27.000 I think it's kind of smart to be scared of human rats.
00:14:30.000 Right.
00:14:30.000 It is.
00:14:31.000 But double check and be like, are these actually human rats that are going to be attacking me?
00:14:36.000 Or is this just someone who wants human rats?
00:14:37.000 They have a mythical creature in South Africa that looks like a human rat called the Tokalosh.
00:14:43.000 Oh really?
00:14:43.000 We have footage.
00:14:44.000 Hey!
00:14:45.000 No joke.
00:14:46.000 You're cool.
00:14:47.000 And they believe in it.
00:14:49.000 I read a great article today about Africa and the vernacular there and how they don't really have dictionaries like English, French-English dictionaries.
00:15:00.000 Yeah.
00:15:00.000 Because most of the languages are spoken.
00:15:02.000 Yeah.
00:15:03.000 So they're like, why do you have a dictionary?
00:15:04.000 It's your language, you know it.
00:15:05.000 Right.
00:15:06.000 They have like eight different languages they speak there.
00:15:09.000 But um, they don't really have the term promise.
00:15:15.000 Like, I promise you.
00:15:16.000 In the entire continent.
00:15:17.000 I promise I'll do that for you.
00:15:19.000 Wow.
00:15:20.000 Because it takes an abstract sense of morality to know that I'm committing to do something.
00:15:26.000 So in Africa, this article, by the way, is called, it's very offensive, it's called, Morality and Abstract Thinking, How Africans May Differ from Westerners, from amren.com.
00:15:38.000 Ooh.
00:15:39.000 Controversial source.
00:15:40.000 But in Africa, I promise I'll do that for you means I will do my best, but no guarantees.
00:15:46.000 So when it doesn't happen, it's no problem.
00:15:49.000 Because I didn't promise you, I just said I promise.
00:15:52.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 Doesn't mean anything.
00:15:55.000 Different culture, different peeps.
00:16:00.000 So we're gonna stick with some others.
00:16:02.000 Oh yeah, but this John guy, sorry to get back to the original story.
00:16:07.000 I was talking about our friend who was going to write his name in the cement.
00:16:12.000 And I said, that's vandalism.
00:16:15.000 And these guys at the, I didn't even call it the meandering because I don't want to burn in a bridge with a newbie.
00:16:20.000 And I said, um, I said, uh, it's, it's the insurrection.
00:16:27.000 I said, the guys who are arrested for the insurrection.
00:16:29.000 So you don't know where I stand yet.
00:16:31.000 Uh, we're arrested for trespassing.
00:16:34.000 And as I was saying insurrection, he went, oh yeah, the insurrection.
00:16:39.000 And I was like, ooh.
00:16:41.000 OK.
00:16:42.000 Someone's wearing pink pants in the 50s.
00:16:46.000 We have a little assemblage.
00:16:50.000 He's one of us.
00:16:52.000 I told you about that.
00:16:53.000 I was at my wife's family reunion with her white side of the family.
00:16:58.000 And there was this guy there, young man, 22.
00:17:00.000 So I'm just like, my arms are behind my back.
00:17:03.000 I'm on parole.
00:17:04.000 Best behavior.
00:17:04.000 Hello.
00:17:05.000 Hi, how are you?
00:17:06.000 Hello.
00:17:07.000 And they're all liberal.
00:17:08.000 They're all from Madison.
00:17:10.000 And my wife's uncle's son, so I guess it's her cousin, was talking about taxes.
00:17:18.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah, oh, I'm sure that'll trickle down.
00:17:21.000 That's the way it works, right?
00:17:22.000 The more we tax, the more money we get.
00:17:25.000 And I sort of, my gaydar went up, and I was like, so you don't think high taxes are helping anyone?
00:17:36.000 So then I dared to sort of sashay over, and I said, yeah, I mean, it would appear to me that the more you tax something, the less you get of it.
00:17:48.000 If you charge people for jaywalking, a hundred bucks every time they jaywalk, probably gonna be less jaywalking.
00:17:54.000 Exactly.
00:17:55.000 If you punish entrepreneurs, you're probably gonna get less entrepreneurs.
00:17:58.000 And then he was like, well, hello.
00:18:02.000 That means you're gay.
00:18:02.000 Hello, my good friend.
00:18:04.000 That means you're conservative.
00:18:05.000 We started making eyes at each other, basically.
00:18:13.000 And, uh, we rented a beer and I go, I'm gonna go, I'll find a beer store.
00:18:17.000 We're in Malibu at a house we, the family rented.
00:18:21.000 I go, I'm gonna go get more beer.
00:18:23.000 Anyone want to come?
00:18:24.000 He goes, yeah, I'll go with you.
00:18:26.000 Down the alleyway.
00:18:27.000 Oh yeah.
00:18:28.000 Dude, we get into the car and it was just, this is 2016.
00:18:33.000 So we get into the car and it's just like, finally someone who fucking cares about this country.
00:18:36.000 I talked to real estate agents, things are going up really fast.
00:18:39.000 We finally have someone who wants the free market, who doesn't apologize all the time.
00:18:43.000 You know, Americans only really care about two things.
00:18:44.000 They care about stop apologizing all the time and we want guns.
00:18:47.000 And they keep talking about racism all the time.
00:18:49.000 Racism, racism, racism.
00:18:50.000 No one fucking cares about racism in this country.
00:18:51.000 It's old news.
00:18:52.000 They keep reviving it.
00:18:53.000 It's a fucking communist talking point.
00:18:54.000 And we're both talking at the same time.
00:18:57.000 We go, we get the beer.
00:18:58.000 We're not even looking at the beer we're getting.
00:18:59.000 We're screaming about Trump the whole time.
00:19:01.000 I pull back in.
00:19:02.000 We're gone like 20 minutes.
00:19:03.000 The second we walk back into the house.
00:19:05.000 Foom.
00:19:06.000 We separate.
00:19:08.000 And go to different parts.
00:19:09.000 Because we just fucked.
00:19:12.000 In the car.
00:19:13.000 In the car.
00:19:14.000 He went and had a quickie.
00:19:21.000 It's fucking ironic, isn't it?
00:19:23.000 Yeah.
00:19:23.000 And then you talk to gays, like the gays we just saw.
00:19:26.000 That was Brandon Straka getting attacked by a negro.
00:19:29.000 And they were beating Brandon Straka because he's a Trump supporter.
00:19:36.000 So they started filming it and saying, a bunch of women are attacking us because we're gay.
00:19:41.000 They're calling us faggots.
00:19:42.000 So that woman had just yelled out, they're Trump supporters.
00:19:46.000 Which negates any accusations of prejudice.
00:19:49.000 You can kill Trump supporters with reckless abandon.
00:19:53.000 That's perfectly reasonable.
00:19:54.000 Speaking of African and dictionary, it's kind of bleeding.
00:19:56.000 They have a dictionary, but it's here.
00:19:59.000 Oof, y'all, and yeet have now been added to the American dictionary.
00:20:06.000 Uh, what's oof?
00:20:07.000 Like holy cow, like that was harsh?
00:20:09.000 Yeah.
00:20:10.000 Okay.
00:20:10.000 That's our word.
00:20:11.000 Yeah.
00:20:12.000 Yeet and y'all.
00:20:13.000 We've been saying oof my whole life.
00:20:15.000 Yeah.
00:20:16.000 Yeah, you know who would like that dick?
00:20:18.000 Your mother.
00:20:18.000 Oof.
00:20:19.000 Oof.
00:20:20.000 Oof.
00:20:21.000 Oof.
00:20:21.000 What is yeet?
00:20:23.000 Yeet is like, I think, to get out of there.
00:20:26.000 Y-E-E-T?
00:20:26.000 Like, I'm out of here.
00:20:28.000 Yeet.
00:20:28.000 Dude, that came out like... An hour ago.
00:20:30.000 This year.
00:20:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:20:32.000 Yeet definition.
00:20:34.000 Um, let's do our second sponsor, Nita Fashions.
00:20:40.000 I was wrong.
00:20:41.000 This is one of the only days I'm not wearing Nita Fashions.
00:20:44.000 Oh wait, sorry, go back to Yeet.
00:20:47.000 It is an exclamation of excitement, approval, surprise, we're all on NG often.
00:20:51.000 We should do like a current like cultural word of the day.
00:20:53.000 So you can't even help us with youth culture now?
00:20:55.000 I'm out of touch.
00:20:56.000 That's why I think we should do a service to all the viewers and fire you.
00:21:00.000 But besides that, tell them urban culture.
00:21:05.000 Just in case they miss it and somebody walks by.
00:21:07.000 I'm 50 years old, a father of three in the suburbs.
00:21:11.000 Matty's an ex-con, also in the burbs.
00:21:14.000 We're not going to be getting anyone up to date on urban vernacular.
00:21:17.000 That's your job.
00:21:19.000 Where are you?
00:21:19.000 I'm too old for that.
00:21:20.000 I resent that culture.
00:21:22.000 Brian, you are 32.
00:21:24.000 You have the brain of a 19 year old.
00:21:26.000 You don't even know what a lease is.
00:21:28.000 A lease?
00:21:28.000 Yeah, I went to school with her.
00:21:30.000 Yeah, you see?
00:21:31.000 It's a girl I banged.
00:21:34.000 Anita Fashions.
00:21:35.000 So this is the only day I'm not wearing a Anita Fashions jacket.
00:21:39.000 This is Ted Baker, but the shirt is Anita Fashions.
00:21:43.000 Perfectly tailored.
00:21:44.000 Look at this.
00:21:45.000 You know how much of a loser you look like when you don't have your top button done up?
00:21:49.000 You look like a half-assed turd who's going for his first job interview after your paperboy route.
00:21:56.000 You need to have customized shirts.
00:21:58.000 Now I understand it's expensive to have all custom suits.
00:22:02.000 Fine.
00:22:03.000 Get a bunch of cheap suits if you must but at least have your dress shirts be custom made and that's what's fantastic about Need of Fashions.
00:22:10.000 So you contact them through their Twitter.
00:22:13.000 You can DM them or you can go I think it's info at needoffashions.com and what they used to do back when I discovered them when I worked at Fox News is they come to a hotel room
00:22:25.000 And they'd measure you up, they'd show you a bunch of swatches, you'd choose like five shirts, six suits, or you could do, you can go super cheap with them.
00:22:33.000 You can do like a $50 dress shirt and nothing else.
00:22:37.000 But it'll fit you like a fucking glove.
00:22:40.000 Uh, now they can't do that because of COVID, although I'm sure it's booting back up soon.
00:22:45.000 So you call them on like a video conference call or, you know, FaceTime, whatever you want.
00:22:50.000 You, you measure yourself up in front of them and then they make you your suit, your shirts, whatever you need and FedEx it to you.
00:22:59.000 Wow.
00:23:00.000 And then you steam it, you iron it, and now you have a shirt that fits you so fucking perfectly.
00:23:07.000 You know, if you fly first class once, you're spoiled and you need it again, like you can't go to coach ever again, although you do, I do.
00:23:17.000 But when you have a custom suit or a custom shirt, you realize it wasn't the shirt or the suit that was bothering me, it was the fit.
00:23:25.000 Once it fits you perfectly, it's like PJs.
00:23:29.000 Like these shoes for example.
00:23:30.000 They're not that expensive.
00:23:31.000 They're J.Crew.
00:23:34.000 These feel more comfy than Chucks.
00:23:36.000 I cannot say enough about these.
00:23:38.000 I could run a thousand miles in these things.
00:23:40.000 And that's how I feel about my need of fashion suits.
00:23:44.000 I could, especially in July where the humidity is killing you, when you have a suit that fits, it's just a different universe.
00:23:51.000 So if you're rich, I would recommend you get six custom suits.
00:23:56.000 And also, by the way, I know you're gonna get fatter.
00:23:58.000 I did.
00:23:58.000 I added like an inch to my waistline.
00:24:00.000 They had already added an inch in there.
00:24:03.000 All they had to do was let it out.
00:24:05.000 So if you're rich get like six suits and ten shirts and you'll be walking around in pajamas.
00:24:10.000 It'll feel comfier than the basketball shorts and the t-shirt you're wearing now.
00:24:14.000 If you're broke then get one dress shirt and
00:24:19.000 And that's it.
00:24:20.000 If you're a little less than broke, then get one awesome gray suit that you can wear to weddings and funerals that fits you perfectly.
00:24:29.000 And a $150 shirt.
00:24:31.000 And by the way, you will get infinite pussy at weddings and funerals.
00:24:35.000 Sorry about the funeral thing, but it's true.
00:24:37.000 When you have a fit suit.
00:24:39.000 There's nothing worse than seeing a man at a wedding or something where his hand looks like this.
00:24:44.000 It's downright embarrassing.
00:24:47.000 It hurts to look at.
00:24:49.000 Grow up, you fucking infant.
00:24:54.000 I said, you hurt me today.
00:24:54.000 What was that?
00:24:56.000 You've hurt me today.
00:24:58.000 If your blazer goes beyond your wrists.
00:25:01.000 Come on, dude.
00:25:02.000 I'm going to have to order a couple of shirts.
00:25:07.000 Anyway, needoffashionists.com.
00:25:08.000 Check them out.
00:25:11.000 All right.
00:25:13.000 So anyway, let me just finally finish this story.
00:25:17.000 What the fuck?
00:25:18.000 I was charging this bitch all day.
00:25:22.000 She better be.
00:25:24.000 Oh, there we go.
00:25:26.000 Um, so when he said the insurrection in quotes, I think we're good.
00:25:31.000 Oh yeah.
00:25:31.000 The insurrection.
00:25:33.000 That's all you need.
00:25:33.000 How dare you call that?
00:25:35.000 That's become a good little litmus test.
00:25:38.000 Oh yeah.
00:25:39.000 Did you roll your eyes when you said the insurrection?
00:25:41.000 If you go like this, the insurrection.
00:25:44.000 Yeah.
00:25:44.000 Or did you say the insurrection?
00:25:46.000 It's kind of like that day Teacher Joe said that the Republican Party had their private army like Antifa.
00:25:54.000 And you go, oh yeah, who?
00:25:56.000 The KKK?
00:25:57.000 Yeah, that's sort of how we met.
00:25:59.000 What?
00:25:59.000 Matty was bartending at the bar and was talking to some teacher, and I said, you know, that DNC has their own paramilitary wing, Antifa.
00:26:07.000 And he goes, so does the right.
00:26:09.000 I go, who?
00:26:10.000 He goes, I'm just repeating Matty's story, but whatever.
00:26:12.000 He goes, the KKK.
00:26:14.000 And I didn't know Matty at all then.
00:26:15.000 No, we just met.
00:26:17.000 We look over each other, we meet eyes, and Matty just goes... Really?
00:26:23.000 The KKK.
00:26:24.000 Yeah.
00:26:25.000 So, I know the Antifa are at every fucking left-wing rally ever.
00:26:29.000 Are the KKK at every right-wing rally?
00:26:32.000 No.
00:26:32.000 Following Matt Goetz on their horses?
00:26:35.000 They're lucky if they can afford to travel to the local K-Mart.
00:26:39.000 Grow the fuck up, you losers.
00:26:44.000 How much of this shit can they all believe is really what it's coming down to?
00:26:50.000 Okay, this isn't good for the fluidity of the show, but I'm going to read letters I haven't vetted yet.
00:26:57.000 There's one, two, three, four, five.
00:27:01.000 So normally, we would dive into the letters and they'd all be good, and then I might read some stinkers.
00:27:10.000 I start with stinkers, because they've arrived since I've been talking at the beginning of the show half an hour ago.
00:27:17.000 Hey, Gav!
00:27:17.000 I've been to a number of Dead shows in NYC.
00:27:19.000 Okay, that's a great point.
00:27:21.000 Let's start with this.
00:27:21.000 The Grateful Dead suck shit.
00:27:24.000 That's a fact.
00:27:26.000 They are probably the worst band ever made.
00:27:29.000 I cannot believe how many people like them.
00:27:31.000 It boggles the mind.
00:27:33.000 Have you ever heard these bootleg tapes where people just hold up a cassette player in the sky and record it?
00:27:40.000 It's shocking!
00:27:43.000 Shockingly bad.
00:27:44.000 All you hear is the crowd.
00:27:46.000 Look up Grateful Dead bootleg tapes.
00:27:48.000 It sounds like your dad and his brother, your uncle, got on stage after a wedding and just put on the instruments that were sitting there and just started going... before they got kicked out.
00:28:04.000 All right.
00:28:09.000 And, you know, my chick to start with.
00:28:12.000 He's proud.
00:28:12.000 Let's see if we can actually hear that.
00:28:14.000 He loved it.
00:28:16.000 I was never into the dead.
00:28:17.000 I've been to the dead shows at NYC back in the 90s.
00:28:19.000 They were some of the best times of my life.
00:28:21.000 Your Life Sucks.
00:28:22.000 Parting is a Young Man.
00:28:23.000 What do you think of that subculture compared to punks?
00:28:27.000 There are some similarities with the do-it-yourself thing.
00:28:30.000 No, there's not.
00:28:32.000 Deadheads are known for doing whatever they could for money to make it to the next show.
00:28:37.000 No, they sold acid.
00:28:40.000 There was no DIY, there was no collectivism, there was no fighting Nazi skinheads.
00:28:46.000 There was nothing.
00:28:47.000 It was just getting high.
00:28:49.000 A lot of nitrous oxide, a lot of acid.
00:28:51.000 Self-indulgent fucking losers.
00:28:53.000 It's like my 600 pound life.
00:28:55.000 You're just eating Twinkies.
00:28:58.000 You're indulging your addiction.
00:29:00.000 I've seen, I think I've seen once.
00:29:03.000 In the parking lot, some girl was selling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
00:29:07.000 Wow, what a great entrepreneur.
00:29:10.000 She had like a loaf of Wonder Bread, and a peanut butter and a jelly jar, and that was... She was selling them for two bucks.
00:29:17.000 Imagine, like, it's one thing to be so shitty that you like the Grateful Dead, but imagine also thinking, I was part of a cool movement called the Deadheads.
00:29:26.000 No, dude.
00:29:27.000 Okay, turn that up, Ryan.
00:29:29.000 Let's hear the Grateful Dead.
00:29:38.000 There's Titty.
00:29:39.000 This is a colonoscopy.
00:29:41.000 How do they do it?
00:29:42.000 They look like two fair heads.
00:29:43.000 Oh, dude, there's full frontal malnudely.
00:29:46.000 Malnudely?
00:29:47.000 Malnudely.
00:29:48.000 Madden in Italy?
00:29:50.000 Well, it is noodley.
00:29:52.000 He's got the twigs and berries out.
00:29:55.000 Sounds great.
00:29:56.000 The meat and two veg.
00:30:01.000 Fucking gross.
00:30:11.000 Hire Kevin Brennan, someone says.
00:30:13.000 That guy seems like a dick.
00:30:14.000 Last sponsor before we close out and go behind the paywall and have some real fun.
00:30:19.000 Johnny Apple CBD.
00:30:21.000 Been with us since day one.
00:30:22.000 The finest CBD company in the world.
00:30:25.000 Not only do they sell
00:30:26.000 Fantastic product that is all the great things about pot but without the illegal stuff.
00:30:31.000 They've also been standing by us since day one.
00:30:34.000 So it's free speech CBD.
00:30:36.000 So it's ethical CBD.
00:30:38.000 Every time you buy it you're supporting free speech.
00:30:41.000 Take the tincture to take the edge off.
00:30:43.000 Put in your coffee to take the edge off.
00:30:44.000 Use the topicals after a hard workout.
00:30:49.000 I don't know.
00:31:05.000 I can't recommend it enough.
00:31:06.000 Do not get Johnny Apple CBD if you hate CBD.
00:31:10.000 If you have no interest in CBD, you think it's gross and stupid, then this is not for you.
00:31:14.000 However, if you represent the other 90% of the population and you are going to get CBD,
00:31:20.000 You have to go to JohnnyApple.com.
00:31:23.000 JohnnyAppleCBD.com.
00:31:24.000 Use promo code Gavin.
00:31:26.000 Get 20% off.
00:31:27.000 Because now you're getting your CBD and you're changing the world.
00:31:32.000 You're supporting free speech.
00:31:33.000 You're saying thank you to this American company that is not kowtowing to the psychopaths.
00:31:41.000 Also, by the way, another sponsor, Bubba and Hank's.
00:31:44.000 Oh.
00:31:45.000 What did you think of that?
00:31:46.000 I loved it.
00:31:46.000 Let me tell you something.
00:31:47.000 So what have you had so far?
00:31:48.000 That was a goodie bag that is still going.
00:31:52.000 So what have you had so far from the barbecue?
00:31:53.000 So far I've had the chopped meat.
00:31:54.000 Then I've had, I put that, I did that in like a meat sauce.
00:32:00.000 Made like a, you know, a red gravy with the chopped meat in it.
00:32:04.000 Meat sauce over the spaghetti.
00:32:06.000 Then I had, I just went through the six pack of burgers.
00:32:09.000 Delicious.
00:32:10.000 Amazing.
00:32:10.000 Amazing.
00:32:11.000 Amazing.
00:32:12.000 And I have the frosting now, the beef asabuco.
00:32:15.000 So I'm having that later this week.
00:32:17.000 What do you do burgers as?
00:32:19.000 Medium rare?
00:32:19.000 Medium well?
00:32:20.000 I like them medium rare.
00:32:22.000 Little pink in the middle.
00:32:24.000 Yeah, me too.
00:32:25.000 I take them out of the fridge, I put them up to room temp, I sprinkle each side with a little bit of salt for the hour that I leave them to get to room temp, and then I put them right on the grill.
00:32:36.000 All right, so now we're leaving the free part of the show.
00:32:39.000 Kind of gave Bubba and Hanks a free ad there, by the way.
00:32:42.000 We're going to go behind the paywall.
00:32:44.000 By the way, censored.tv has hours and hours of content every night.
00:32:49.000 It's better than Netflix and Hulu.
00:32:52.000 It's not woke.
00:32:53.000 It makes you feel sane.
00:32:55.000 There's no agenda here, by the way.
00:32:56.000 We just talk normally.
00:32:58.000 We basically are America in 1994, before it got woke.
00:33:03.000 So, when we see a man dressed as a woman, we laugh.
00:33:06.000 Because he looks silly.
00:33:08.000 We don't pretend that we're looking at someone who has changed their gender.
00:33:12.000 That's all it is.
00:33:13.000 It's portrayed as some sort of hate site, but it really is just you.
00:33:17.000 20 years ago?
00:33:21.000 That's all.
00:33:23.000 Anyway, we're about to get uncensored on censored, so stick around if you got money, and fuck off if you don't, and get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.