Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #112 - AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:29.000 I wonder how you're feeling.

00:00:33.000 They're ringing in my ears.

00:00:37.000 I don't want to relate to Samsung.

00:00:47.000 That was Show Me the Way by Peter Frampton.

00:00:52.000 I believe it's probably the biggest selling live album of all time.

00:00:58.000 Major hit.

00:00:59.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:01.000 This is the free monthly podcast that we put out there.

00:01:05.000 And I'd like to have a toast to my guests, my comrade-in-arms, Maddie O. Hello, everybody. 0.82

00:01:13.000 Your shot glass says, drunk as a boot, Sioux come and butt. 1.00

00:01:18.000 And mine says, Chief Fenim, which means I am finished. 0.89

00:01:21.000 Cheers.

00:01:32.000 I just got back from LaGuardia.

00:01:33.000 I was dropping my daughter off to send her to her in-laws alone. 0.68

00:01:36.000 She's 14.

00:01:37.000 I tried something I've never done before.

00:01:39.000 I highly recommend this.

00:01:41.000 And maybe this is part of being old.

00:01:43.000 Get to the airport way too early.

00:01:46.000 The flight was boarding at 7.50.

00:01:49.000 We were there at the airport at 5.50.

00:01:53.000 I had time to go park, get lost parking, park in the wrong spot.

00:01:58.000 Total calm.

00:02:00.000 I'm going there.

00:02:01.000 I'm getting in without a boarding pass because I'm not going on the plane.

00:02:04.000 So it's a weird thing that's confusing.

00:02:06.000 I don't mind.

00:02:07.000 Be confused.

00:02:08.000 We have plenty of time to get through.

00:02:09.000 You got to the gate, through TSA and all that?

00:02:11.000 Yeah, you can go right to the gate if you're the guardian.

00:02:14.000 Wow.

00:02:14.000 We had some delicious pizza.

00:02:16.000 We talked.

00:02:17.000 I bought her some gossip mags.

00:02:20.000 Scott Peterson may have killed someone else.

00:02:22.000 Whoa.

00:02:23.000 Yeah.

00:02:25.000 Not just lazy.

00:02:27.000 Before we start or even tell you about the airport, which I already did, this episode is brought to you by Drome, the conservative dating app.

00:02:35.000 That's D-R-O-M. 1.00

00:02:36.000 O's got an umlot.

00:02:38.000 That's a drome.

00:02:40.000 Most dating apps are terrible.

00:02:41.000 They're superficial face swiping apps.

00:02:44.000 And then there are the quote-unquote expert matching apps.

00:02:46.000 Both usually waste your time.

00:02:48.000 The solution is value-based matching.

00:02:52.000 If you're right-wing, things probably aren't going to work out with someone who's a total lefty.

00:02:56.000 Same with religion, lifestyle, how to raise children other core conservative values.

00:03:00.000 Sure, the right person might change to meet you where you are in life, but why not just find the perfect match from the start?

00:03:06.000 Drome is the best free new values-based dating app.

00:03:10.000 You pick deal breakers and deal makers.

00:03:12.000 There are no experts and match percentages, and you don't have to addictively check the app.

00:03:16.000 As soon as someone matches your deal breakers and deal makers and you match theirs, you get a notification.

00:03:22.000 If you don't find a deal breaker or deal maker that's important to you, you can add your own anonymously.

00:03:27.000 Drome is also video only for more human interactions.

00:03:31.000 So go to drome.date, d-r-o-m. 1.00

00:03:36.000 Don't you worry your pretty little head about the umlaut.

00:03:38.000 D-R-O-M.date slash gavin in your phone's browser.

00:03:42.000 Click the iOS or Google button to install and use the invite code Gavin to sign up.

00:03:48.000 I can't tell you how many girls tell me, can you find me a proud boy? 1.00

00:03:52.000 Like conservative girls in DC are fucked. 1.00

00:03:55.000 And I mean that only metaphorically, never literally. 0.99

00:04:00.000 Which is why at the Deplorables Ball, the Deplora Ball, I was so determined to make sure they got there safe, despite them getting accosted by Antifa and a mob of people throwing batteries, feces, and urine at them, because I knew this was their one big night out and their one chance to meet a guy. 0.63

00:04:18.000 One of the great things, though, about DC conservative women having no hopes is they all dress fucking amazing with high-heel shoes every day and look fantastic. 1.00

00:04:30.000 I kind of like their suffering. 0.96

00:04:31.000 If you're already matched up, tell your friends and get your boyfriend or girlfriend to tell their friends.

00:04:35.000 That's d-r-o-m dot d-a-t-e slash gavin. 0.95

00:04:39.000 Drome, design and meet your perfect match.

00:04:42.000 It's free to use.

00:04:45.000 That will be our first reading.

00:04:47.000 What are your deal breakers, Maddie?

00:04:49.000 Me?

00:04:50.000 A comic?

00:04:51.000 First thing, bad teeth.

00:04:53.000 Bad teeth, that's a no-no for me.

00:04:54.000 That's a no-no.

00:04:56.000 The first thing I look at, believe it or not, is teeth.

00:04:59.000 I never knew that about you.

00:05:01.000 Gotta have a good set of choppers.

00:05:04.000 But, you know, I would say a little bit thicker of a girl than like a twig. 1.00

00:05:13.000 We're on the same page on that.

00:05:14.000 Although I can work with twigs.

00:05:15.000 Yeah, twigs hurt.

00:05:18.000 I get bruised pelvis, but, you know, we can do it.

00:05:20.000 Yeah.

00:05:21.000 I think my only one is thinning hair to the point of you can see her scalp. 1.00

00:05:29.000 Big tits, small tits, no ass, fat ass. 1.00

00:05:32.000 I am not a titman. 1.00

00:05:33.000 I'm an ass thigh guy. 1.00

00:05:36.000 Like from the knees to the midriff. 1.00

00:05:40.000 But I've dated girls with huge tits that had no ass, and I was like, we can work with this. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Is that a deal breaker for you? 1.00

00:05:46.000 No ass? 1.00

00:05:46.000 A lot of Asians will have no ass. 1.00

00:05:49.000 But one of your first loves was an Asian. 1.00

00:05:51.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:05:52.000 She couldn't have had much of an ass. 1.00

00:05:54.000 She did. 1.00

00:05:55.000 And believe it or not, she had 36 D tits, yeah. 1.00

00:06:01.000 I mean, when you get that many tits. 1.00

00:06:03.000 The three girls that I've had long-term relationships with, my ex-wife, she was 36 double D. The girl, Melanie, was 32 double D. And Lie was the Japanese girl. 0.99

00:06:17.000 She was 36 D. For someone who's not into tits, you've had a lot of tits. 1.00

00:06:22.000 Yeah, but they're all natural, you know. 0.99

00:06:25.000 Of course.

00:06:25.000 They lay down flat.

00:06:26.000 Next thing you know, they're in their armpits.

00:06:29.000 Yep. 1.00

00:06:30.000 But yeah, I'm an ass guy all day long. 1.00

00:06:34.000 There's a cheesy pickup on it. 1.00

00:06:36.000 She says, man, you peel those pants down. 1.00

00:06:37.000 It's like an onion.

00:06:38.000 It'll make me cry.

00:06:43.000 As you know, folks, on Thursday, we only read from the letters page because we have to do all the ad reading.

00:06:50.000 After the first half hour, we go behind the paywall.

00:06:53.000 Then we got to take calls.

00:06:55.000 Covering the news is too much.

00:06:57.000 Although, speaking of balding, the hot new meme going around today, which might be old news tomorrow, is that thing I sent you, Maddie.

00:07:06.000 I don't think I sent it to Ryan because I don't like him.

00:07:10.000 The girl with that woman who's so fat. 1.00

00:07:14.000 The 40-year-old healthy woman? 1.00

00:07:16.000 That she's going bald.

00:07:17.000 And it says, healthy woman dying from COVID or died from COVID.

00:07:22.000 And you're like...

00:07:23.000 That woman was 40 years old. 1.00

00:07:25.000 She looks 400 years old.

00:07:27.000 And she's about 600 pounds. 1.00

00:07:30.000 See if you can find this article.

00:07:32.000 I don't send it to you.

00:07:33.000 Healthy 40-year-old COVID victims last words.

00:07:38.000 I blame the unvaccinated for this. 1.00

00:07:41.000 Now, obviously, when we're talking about deal breakers, being 400 pounds is a deal breaker.

00:07:45.000 But this hair is a great example of, it could be on Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez.

00:07:51.000 Anybody would be.

00:07:52.000 I cannot work with you.

00:07:53.000 No.

00:07:54.000 Just get on a plane.

00:07:56.000 Go to Singapore.

00:07:56.000 They have plugs.

00:07:58.000 They can cure it.

00:08:00.000 She probably couldn't get out of her house. 0.75

00:08:03.000 Right.

00:08:04.000 I'm not talking about her, I guess.

00:08:05.000 I'm talking about women in general when they have this. 1.00

00:08:08.000 Ann Coulter talks about this all the time.

00:08:11.000 There's so much a woman can do to get above a six. 1.00

00:08:15.000 Like, you could have a fucking parrot beak for a nose. 1.00

00:08:19.000 I mean, I guess you could get a nose job, whatever. 1.00

00:08:21.000 But basically, just don't be fat.

00:08:24.000 Grow your hair long.

00:08:26.000 Eat well so your skin is not disgusting.

00:08:28.000 Wear high heels three times a week.

00:08:30.000 My ex-wife had a pretty, her father used to joke when they said, oh, you got a Roman nose because it's roaming all over your face. 1.00

00:08:37.000 But yeah, big nose is not a deal breaker for me.

00:08:41.000 No.

00:08:42.000 No one cares.

00:08:44.000 Especially in warmer climates where a woman's wearing a bikini a lot, you don't even see the face. 0.99

00:08:48.000 In Canada, where it's so cold, you're basically just seeing this for half the year.

00:08:52.000 You get a little more picky about what this is.

00:08:55.000 But in Costa Rica, butterface means hot chick.

00:08:59.000 Did you find it yet?

00:09:01.000 No.

00:09:01.000 Was she from Yellowstone?

00:09:04.000 I don't know.

00:09:04.000 That's cool.

00:09:05.000 Because I found one.

00:09:06.000 It says 40 years old, dies of COVID.

00:09:09.000 Didn't you just type out the exact headline I just read to you?

00:09:12.000 Yeah, I blame the unvaccinated and like the nothing came up after that. 0.94

00:09:16.000 I wonder if it's a fake thing.

00:09:21.000 Because someone asked me for the original article and I was like, go look it up yourself.

00:09:25.000 Maybe they couldn't find it.

00:09:26.000 I just emailed it to you.

00:09:29.000 But it is.

00:09:31.000 Oh.

00:09:32.000 I mean, it's a deal breaker for a guy.

00:09:33.000 I don't think I would be friends with a guy who was going bald like this.

00:09:38.000 I couldn't hang.

00:09:40.000 I wouldn't let a mechanic work on my car if his hair looked like this.

00:09:44.000 But the audacity of a healthy 40-year-old.

00:09:49.000 And how many times have you seen that throughout this pandemic?

00:09:53.000 Healthy.

00:09:54.000 No previous conditions.

00:09:56.000 Perfectly healthy 400-pounder.

00:09:59.000 Well, obesity was like one of the major underlying conditions.

00:10:04.000 We've been screaming this since day one.

00:10:07.000 The moral of the story is don't be fat.

00:10:10.000 That's what the pandemic taught us.

00:10:12.000 How much weight did you lose?

00:10:13.000 I just lost 30 pounds.

00:10:15.000 30 pounds.

00:10:16.000 Yeah.

00:10:19.000 236 to 206.

00:10:21.000 The last time I lost 30 pounds was the last time I had sex with my wife because there was that much come because it had been that long.

00:10:28.000 You were backed up.

00:10:29.000 I was pretty backed up.

00:10:31.000 Juicy Smolette.

00:10:34.000 Yeah, but I mean, not to say that it's hard, but, you know.

00:10:38.000 I come really hard.

00:10:39.000 It's definitely a chore.

00:10:42.000 What?

00:10:43.000 It's a chore losing weight.

00:10:45.000 But you cheated, dude.

00:10:46.000 You had that medication.

00:10:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:48.000 I was put on Ozempic and Jardiance and stuff for underlying health conditions.

00:10:52.000 Yeah.

00:10:52.000 That helped.

00:10:54.000 Well, it was so strong that you would drink a beer and have to lie down.

00:11:00.000 Yeah.

00:11:00.000 I would get full.

00:11:01.000 If I drank it, I'd get an eight-ounce glass of water.

00:11:03.000 I would be full.

00:11:03.000 I'd be like.

00:11:04.000 But you're not on it now?

00:11:05.000 No, I take a shot once a week.

00:11:08.000 I've kind of plateaued right now at like 206.

00:11:12.000 But.

00:11:14.000 What do you weigh, Ryan?

00:11:17.000 164 is the last time I checked.

00:11:20.000 You've been getting very serious about working out recently, I've noticed.

00:11:22.000 Yeah, I've been taking mass gainers and...

00:11:25.000 What are mass gainers?

00:11:27.000 If you can't eat a whopping load of...

00:11:30.000 Why are you making it a cum reference? 0.83

00:11:33.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:11:34.000 If you can't eat a whopping load. 0.98

00:11:35.000 Yeah, that sounded pretty gay. 0.98

00:11:36.000 I don't care. 0.99

00:11:37.000 If you can't eat a whopping load.

00:11:38.000 I know everyone wants to eat a whopping load, but unfortunately, you can't always do that.

00:11:44.000 They're like meal replacement shakes.

00:11:46.000 They're like 650 calories in one thing.

00:11:49.000 If you want to build muscle, you have to have a caloric surplus.

00:11:54.000 And it's hard to eat that much food.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:58.000 Wow.

00:11:58.000 I mean, that's the magic of weight loss.

00:12:01.000 Consume less, burn more.

00:12:03.000 Burn more calories than you take in, folks.

00:12:05.000 It's very easy, ladies.

00:12:07.000 Calories in, calories out, they say.

00:12:09.000 All right, this is getting boring.

00:12:11.000 Bubba and Hanks is our other sponsor this episode.

00:12:14.000 Although we'll do Nita Fashions closer than the 9.30 mark.

00:12:18.000 But the subscription-based Bubba box is now a thing thanks to you guys.

00:12:25.000 Premium Wag U by American Hero.

00:12:27.000 Bubba's always been there for censored, and we're always going to be there for him.

00:12:30.000 Please go to BubbaHanks.com.

00:12:32.000 Use promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.

00:12:35.000 That is Bubba, B-U-B-B-A, and Hanks, H-A-N-K-S, dot com.

00:12:41.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:12:43.000 God bless Bubba.

00:12:44.000 God bless America.

00:12:44.000 God bless all the cancer survivors and everyone.

00:12:47.000 We've all lost to cancer. 1.00

00:12:48.000 Cancer is a bitch, but Bubba is giving his cancer the middle finger. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Bubba has a new sauce and spice coming soon. 0.99

00:12:56.000 So please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.

00:12:59.000 You Understand that?

00:13:00.000 He's got a new sauce, a new spice coming soon.

00:13:04.000 The admin hasn't given us much details about that, so it's going to be a challenge to come up with a name for it.

00:13:11.000 But please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.

00:13:13.000 Winner is getting a Bubba box and some other goodies from the sponsors: www.bubbaandhanks.com.

00:13:20.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:13:21.000 And the last Bubba box went to Maddie.

00:13:25.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:13:28.000 And you were a huge.

00:13:29.000 Delicious.

00:13:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:30.000 Delicious.

00:13:35.000 You know when I was talking to that, you know that weird chef who comes into the bar?

00:13:39.000 Yeah, Joe.

00:13:41.000 So I was like, look, I like my steak like this. 0.99

00:13:44.000 I like it pink in the middle and then burnt to shit like a burnt marshmallow on the outside. 0.98

00:13:50.000 And he goes, here's what you do. 0.99

00:13:51.000 You need a... 1.00

00:13:53.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:13:55.000 You need a thing. 1.00

00:13:56.000 A sous vide machine?

00:13:59.000 It's very, very hot water, but not boiling.

00:14:01.000 That's a sous vide.

00:14:02.000 It's called sous vide.

00:14:03.000 Sous vide?

00:14:04.000 Yeah.

00:14:05.000 Okay.

00:14:06.000 So I guess I don't have to look it up then, right?

00:14:09.000 No.

00:14:10.000 Sous vide.

00:14:11.000 So it keeps the water right below boiling and you put it in there for like an hour and a half, right?

00:14:18.000 Yeah, it's in like a vac-sealed bag.

00:14:20.000 Yeah.

00:14:21.000 Sorry, I don't know why I'm doubting you by checking this.

00:14:26.000 S-O-U-S-V-I-D-E. 1.00

00:14:28.000 Sous V. That doesn't ring a bell.

00:14:32.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.

00:14:33.000 It was popular for a long time.

00:14:34.000 I mean, it's kind of recent and a lot of chefs have been using it.

00:14:39.000 At his place, he has something this big.

00:14:42.000 And he'll do 10 medium rare, 10 rare, 10 well done.

00:14:46.000 Oh, I've accessed one.

00:14:48.000 Oh, you must have it at your restaurant place.

00:14:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:14:50.000 We have one there.

00:14:51.000 So he says you can get a personal one for like $150.

00:14:54.000 Yeah.

00:14:55.000 It's almost like a fish tank.

00:14:57.000 Like it's got a pump and it goes in.

00:14:59.000 It's like just a clear container with water.

00:15:02.000 Throw it in there and it just continually adds hot water and it comes out.

00:15:06.000 So you cook that up and then you can do, I guess you shock it in cold water, like ice water or something, to stop it cooking itself.

00:15:14.000 You can throw it on a grill to charge.

00:15:16.000 And then you can put it in the fridge or anything.

00:15:18.000 And it's ready to rock.

00:15:20.000 So then you put it on a...

00:15:22.000 He implied sometimes that he would just put it on the grill just for the aesthetics.

00:15:27.000 But it was already cooked and ready to go.

00:15:29.000 Did you see the picture I sent to you the other morning?

00:15:32.000 Of the steak I cooked?

00:15:34.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:37.000 Well, now we have to pull that up.

00:15:39.000 Email it to Ryan.

00:15:40.000 Oh, all right.

00:15:41.000 Email me, baby.

00:15:42.000 That was a Bubba and Hanks.

00:15:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:44.000 He's obviously Ryan at censor.tv.

00:15:47.000 So he also told me this story.

00:15:49.000 It's a super wealthy Jewish country club, right?

00:15:53.000 And like all elitist whites, they feel terrible about their privilege.

00:15:59.000 So they want to give back.

00:16:01.000 So what they do is they set up a program at the country club where people of color, not poor people, not some poor Irish Catholic who comes from a family of 13 and has no dad.

00:16:16.000 No, he's white.

00:16:19.000 People of color can go there and they work in the kitchen.

00:16:22.000 He doesn't want them in the kitchen.

00:16:24.000 What are they doing here?

00:16:26.000 Well, you're helping to appease your boss's guilt, your client's guilt. 0.99

00:16:31.000 But I don't feel guilty about this shit. 1.00

00:16:34.000 And here's the fucking catch-22. 0.99

00:16:38.000 You ready for this? 0.99

00:16:39.000 They're not poor.

00:16:42.000 One of them, she's from Guyana.

00:16:44.000 Her parents are doctors.

00:16:46.000 And the other, it's a black guy.

00:16:48.000 He's like in finance.

00:16:51.000 What's that?

00:16:52.000 Say that again?

00:16:54.000 They don't go to the South Bronx to get these people of color.

00:16:56.000 They go within their community. 0.53

00:16:58.000 So they end up with rich black immigrants saddled in the kitchen to appease guilt, which is like, I want to appease my guilt, so I'm going to give you blacks to my mechanic, and they can work with him. 0.99

00:17:11.000 Like they never even see these black people. 0.53

00:17:13.000 And then, at the end of their, I think it's two months, at the end of their two-month little trial, they all have a big party and parade the Negroes around on the stage and everyone claps at the wonderful job they did when rich black people worked in a kitchen with other rich white people to appease other rich white people. 1.00

00:17:34.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:17:36.000 I hate you. 1.00

00:17:42.000 What a fucking... 1.00

00:17:45.000 Clown world. 1.00

00:17:46.000 Clown world. 0.68

00:17:47.000 Okay, so should we jump into the mailbag? 0.87

00:17:49.000 Sure.

00:17:51.000 Let's let the freebies, the freeloaders, see what the mailbag is like. 0.52

00:18:08.000 I really don't like that picture of me.

00:18:11.000 I thought that was your dad.

00:18:13.000 I don't like that picture of my great-grandfather today.

00:18:16.000 That's what he looks like right now.

00:18:20.000 Dear Gavin and Lord Provost of the Fag Zone, this video sums up perfectly why the West is the best. 1.00

00:18:26.000 In the jewelry district of Bangladesh, these entrepreneurs dig through the literal shit from the sewage pipes of different shops in the hope of gathering some of the gold dust that other jewelers have shit out. 0.99

00:18:38.000 Literally the turd world. 0.99

00:18:41.000 Gold dust. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Boy, you gotta have a hell of an immune system to dig through shit all day. 1.00

00:18:52.000 You have a hepatitis vaccine. 1.00

00:18:54.000 You could fucking blow AIDS in those kids' faces with a shotgun and they would be fine. 1.00

00:19:03.000 If we read their names on a piece of paper, we would get explosive diarrhea. 1.00

00:19:10.000 Unbelievable. 0.96

00:19:15.000 Yeah, you'll end up as dog food. 1.00

00:19:17.000 How would you discern the gold dust from just shit? 1.00

00:19:21.000 Like they're down here with like a pants. 1.00

00:19:23.000 Through the literal shit from sewage pipes, gathering some of the gold dust the other jewelers have shit out. 1.00

00:19:28.000 How much dust do they shit out? 1.00

00:19:30.000 I mean, do they inhale it or they're eating it and it's going it must be like a molecule every two years. 0.99

00:19:37.000 There's guys in New York who chip away at the sidewalk in the jewelry district there in Midtown, right?

00:19:46.000 They chip away at the granite to get the various chunks that people have dropped.

00:19:51.000 And we're talking about like a grain of sand. 0.99

00:19:53.000 Jump ahead to the shitting. 0.99

00:19:57.000 I don't care about their route. 1.00

00:20:00.000 Their commute to shit town. 1.00

00:20:04.000 See, this is what they thought when they jumped on that plane in Kabul. 0.99

00:20:08.000 By the way, we have a very special episode tomorrow.

00:20:10.000 It will not be a GOML. 1.00

00:20:11.000 It'll be a censored.tv presents wherein we sit down with the Army Ranger who did three tours in Afghanistan, and he'll tell us why he was for the war and why he no longer is. 0.98

00:20:28.000 They don't show this shit explicitly. 0.98

00:20:31.000 Well, thanks, baby monster, for a scent not you. 1.00

00:20:36.000 I know. 0.99

00:20:37.000 For sending us a video of people sifting through shit for gold and just showing us their commute. 1.00

00:20:43.000 And then they eat the poo-poo. 0.99

00:20:45.000 That was part of the documentary.

00:20:48.000 He digs through the poo-poo. 0.99

00:20:49.000 He's talking about lunchtime. 0.97

00:20:51.000 I've seen that video so many times, I'm starting to get on the gay side. 0.98

00:20:55.000 I'm like, actually, Pastor, they don't literally eat the poo-poo. 0.99

00:20:59.000 What they do is lick the anus of their lover, which heterosexuals also do in pornography and in real life. 1.00

00:21:09.000 And I would argue that when you see porn people do it, they've blasted their ass with enemas because they're in a porn. 1.00

00:21:17.000 They don't want to eat the poo-poo. 1.00

00:21:20.000 That sounds very gay. 1.00

00:21:22.000 Either he saw shit porn, which is incredibly rare, or he just saw someone licking an ass. 1.00

00:21:30.000 Or maybe he saw two girls one cup. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Oof.

00:21:33.000 I still get nauseous from watching that.

00:21:35.000 Dude, it's chocolate.

00:21:37.000 Is it? 0.99

00:21:38.000 They enema their asses clean as a whistle. 1.00

00:21:40.000 But what about that? 0.99

00:21:40.000 And then they put up like Nutella in there. 0.99

00:21:42.000 What about the puke?

00:21:44.000 When they're throwing up in each other's mouths.

00:21:47.000 But it's like Chris Angel puke where that was just in your top stomach.

00:21:51.000 Yeah.

00:21:52.000 That makes it so much.

00:21:53.000 Polygastric.

00:21:55.000 Gav.

00:21:57.000 Gav, Maddie, and the help.

00:21:59.000 Hey, guys, I'm a student at Chico State, which I assume is the university where you learn to be MS-13.

00:22:04.000 MS-13 is going through an existential crisis right now.

00:22:08.000 They have to make their mind up on how they want to be perceived globally.

00:22:12.000 The entire California State University system has mandated the vaccine.

00:22:16.000 They allow for medical and religious exemptions.

00:22:19.000 What's weird is the Title IX department at our school handles the vaccine exemption request. 0.95

00:22:25.000 What the fuck does Title IX have to do with vaccines? 0.76

00:22:28.000 And if you recall, Title IX is the rule that says women's sports has to be as prominent as male sports, right? 0.97

00:22:35.000 Anyways, all the request forms were leaked, and I imagine it was some purple-haired feminist at the Title IX department. 0.61

00:22:42.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:22:43.000 P.S. Can you fix the banner that pops up when you try to view live shows?

00:22:48.000 It still shows Milo.

00:22:50.000 Yes.

00:22:52.000 About 100 people have told me this, and I send it to our tech guy, and he always goes, yep, that's coming out with the new update.

00:23:01.000 It takes a long time to fix these things.

00:23:04.000 He's a great guy, a very qualified guy.

00:23:06.000 I'm getting concerned that he's not a workaholic.

00:23:11.000 I remember last time you said that you wanted it on the site because it's like, well, yeah, the shows are still there. 0.99

00:23:16.000 No shit for brains. 0.71

00:23:18.000 I still want his show on the site, but it says tune in Thursdays. 0.99

00:23:24.000 Oh, that must be changed then.

00:23:26.000 Maybe I get to make a new banner.

00:23:28.000 I'll make a new banner and send it to him.

00:23:31.000 Greetings from Fag Zone South. 0.99

00:23:33.000 This video is brilliant.

00:23:34.000 Video drops your raga all over the place.

00:23:35.000 It's just over two minutes long.

00:23:36.000 Wouldn't want to waste the baby monster's precious time.

00:23:40.000 Now he says baby monsters are apostrophe S. So I think that just means Maddie, not the baby monsters who watch the show.

00:23:48.000 Michael Jackson.

00:24:03.000 This is like if a video is made by dogs.

00:24:08.000 Yeah.

00:24:09.000 So what's his dog?

00:24:17.000 You know you want it.

00:24:21.000 Ray hard. 1.00

00:24:24.000 Oh fuck it out. 1.00

00:24:29.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:24:30.000 Go and get her. 0.99

00:24:30.000 Follow her. 0.99

00:24:31.000 Yeah?

00:24:32.000 So this is a redub?

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:35.000 That was the original video.

00:24:42.000 What's with his belt?

00:24:45.000 It's from Black Jackson belt? 0.96

00:24:48.000 Karate belt? 1.00

00:24:52.000 Oh, bitch, it's my goals now. 1.00

00:24:57.000 What the hell is this? 1.00

00:24:59.000 I'm gonna mouth rape you. 1.00

00:25:05.000 You're right, fucking bitch. 1.00

00:25:15.000 I don't remember the original, but it must be equally retarded. 1.00

00:25:24.000 Is this a song about gang rape? 0.83

00:25:45.000 What's going on with that fire hydrant?

00:25:51.000 What's the let's look at the real original because it can't be much cooler than that, can it?

00:25:58.000 Was that bad or what was that?

00:26:00.000 The way you make me feel, I believe.

00:26:02.000 Yeah, bad is they're all going to a gang thing to fight each other.

00:26:06.000 There's no chick there.

00:26:09.000 There was a lot of gang rape in his symbolism, like the thriller video. 0.99

00:26:14.000 That was a bunch of monsters coming together.

00:26:18.000 What is he doing with it?

00:26:30.000 That's even worse.

00:26:31.000 This is funnier than that.

00:26:32.000 Yeah.

00:26:33.000 Why'd you do a parody of it?

00:26:44.000 You can tell you've never had a normal heterosexual encounter.

00:27:04.000 You update.

00:27:10.000 You're not.

00:27:19.000 Why do we tolerate Michael Jackson?

00:27:22.000 He's fantastic.

00:27:23.000 You know what? 0.99

00:27:24.000 I knew he was shitty. 0.97

00:27:25.000 I remember I was in Scotland in Pollock Shaw's in whatever it was, 1983, whenever It's Hard came out. 0.98

00:27:32.000 And I went with my cousin Colin.

00:27:34.000 It's hard.

00:27:36.000 It's hard.

00:27:37.000 He just said...

00:27:39.000 It's hard?

00:27:40.000 Okay, Beavis.

00:27:43.000 It's hard.

00:27:44.000 He got off the wall.

00:27:45.000 I got the who, It's Hard.

00:27:47.000 Which, by the way, was so bad because Pete Townsend had just done his solo album. 0.99

00:27:53.000 So he was out there going, I want to fucking taste you. 0.97

00:27:57.000 And then he just did like some side thing where he's like, I got a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in the ribcage. 0.99

00:28:01.000 You could tell he was just making up shit quickly so they could have an album. 0.99

00:28:06.000 Off the wall wasn't that bad. 0.99

00:28:07.000 I mean, for the time period, it was kind of disco.

00:28:10.000 So I'm tough.

00:28:11.000 Are you saying I'm tougher than you?

00:28:14.000 No, but it was the era of Disco Studio 54.

00:28:16.000 Did you like Off the Wall?

00:28:18.000 Well, I was a younger kid then, yeah.

00:28:20.000 I mean.

00:28:21.000 Okay, so you're saying I'm tougher than you?

00:28:23.000 Yeah.

00:28:24.000 I'm afraid.

00:28:25.000 Wow, this is a very...

00:28:27.000 At my gym, I was telling Matt the other day, they know him, and they go, are you going to box after this?

00:28:33.000 I go, no, I just did, I did a workout.

00:28:35.000 And they go, oh, okay. 1.00

00:28:37.000 So you think you're all tough with your Matty Odell, but you're a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:28:42.000 He got very hurtful words today at the gym. 1.00

00:28:44.000 Yeah, very mean.

00:28:47.000 What year was, it's hard.

00:28:50.000 If you can hold back your juvenile giggling.

00:28:54.000 It's hard.

00:28:57.000 1982.

00:28:58.000 82.

00:28:59.000 So at 12, I was like, that just seems gay.

00:29:05.000 So I'm not, I don't feel any kind of guilt when I see Michael Jackson because I called it from day one.

00:29:11.000 But the rest of America was like, yeah, that's normal. 0.95

00:29:13.000 He has a fucking rope belt and he's screaming and going, well, if you look at the picture of him on off-the-wall album cover, he's got an afro about this big, his nose is about this wide, and he's as dark as brown leather. 0.98

00:29:26.000 Pull up off the wall. 0.99

00:29:29.000 Because that's a good comeback. 0.89

00:29:32.000 That he was still black back then.

00:29:33.000 Yeah.

00:29:34.000 He's got a tuxedo on it.

00:29:34.000 He's got a tuxedo on.

00:29:35.000 He's up against the side.

00:29:36.000 He's lying on the side.

00:29:37.000 Yeah.

00:29:38.000 No, that would be Thriller lying on the side.

00:29:40.000 Right there.

00:29:41.000 What year was that?

00:29:42.000 That's off the wall.

00:29:44.000 82.

00:29:47.000 Yeah, so we bought those two albums at the same time.

00:29:49.000 Wait, released the same one.

00:29:50.000 Oh, why not?

00:29:51.000 If you opened it.

00:29:52.000 79.

00:29:53.000 Okay, yeah.

00:29:54.000 Okay, so then what's Thriller?

00:29:55.000 Maybe it was Thriller he had.

00:29:56.000 Thriller's the one he's wearing like a white jacket and he's laying down.

00:29:59.000 He's got Jerry Curl juice in his face.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

00:30:01.000 It was Thriller.

00:30:02.000 What happened to Jerry Curls?

00:30:04.000 Like I said, I still do my pubes just.

00:30:06.000 Off the wall was kind of like more disco-y.

00:30:09.000 Yeah, yeah, sorry.

00:30:10.000 It was Thriller I was talking about.

00:30:12.000 I knew at the age of 12 that this guy's lame.

00:30:18.000 Which brings us to our final sponsor, Nita Fashions, wherein you can have anything you want.

00:30:27.000 This shirt is Nita Fashions.

00:30:29.000 This jacket's a Visu.

00:30:31.000 I got it back in the Wigger days. 1.00

00:30:35.000 But Nita Fashions, you call them up, you contact them.

00:30:38.000 The most popular way to contact them appears to be, at least with our baby monsters, is through Instagram.

00:30:45.000 The DMs on Instagram.

00:30:47.000 And Instagram's a good way to contact them too for you because you can see the kind of stuff they make.

00:30:52.000 But you give all your measurements online.

00:30:55.000 They carefully guide you through it.

00:30:58.000 And once you get all your measurements, they can send you textiles for shirts or you can just describe the shirts you want.

00:31:04.000 You get a perfect suit you want.

00:31:05.000 You have a tailor-made suit.

00:31:07.000 This was Charlie Watts' trademark.

00:31:09.000 When you have tailor-made suits, they don't feel like suits.

00:31:12.000 It's not a bummer to put them on.

00:31:14.000 They're PJs.

00:31:15.000 They fit you the same way jeans and t-shirts fit you. 1.00

00:31:17.000 It's fucking heaven. 0.96

00:31:19.000 If you have any kind of a professional job, lawyer, sales, or even if you're going to a funeral or a wedding, you need to have a suit that fits you perfectly. 0.99

00:31:27.000 And Nita Fashionist does that. 1.00

00:31:28.000 And they also understand your style.

00:31:31.000 Like, I like sort of Peewee Herman, very slim fit, kind of floods at the bottom.

00:31:36.000 They'll make me that.

00:31:37.000 If you're more conservative and you want to have a more standard sort of a suit where you don't look like Peewee, they'll make you that.

00:31:44.000 Look at that fit.

00:31:46.000 It's perfect.

00:31:48.000 So you DM them or you contact them through the site.

00:31:51.000 What's the URL, Ryan?

00:31:53.000 You would go to nitafashions.com.

00:31:55.000 Again, that's N-I-T-A. 0.99

00:31:57.000 Fashions.

00:31:57.000 N-I-T-A.

00:31:58.000 And what they do is they ship it to you.

00:32:00.000 They FedEx it to you from Hong Kong.

00:32:02.000 And they can do alterations. 0.87

00:32:04.000 I became a fat pig after the first time I met them.

00:32:07.000 I've been going to them for many years. 0.95

00:32:09.000 I think at least 10 years.

00:32:10.000 So I've gone up a waist size.

00:32:13.000 I sent them back all my pants and said, I'm fat now.

00:32:15.000 And they added two from 34 to 36 because they knew that was coming.

00:32:20.000 They could tell by the way I drank beer that I was going to get fat.

00:32:23.000 And they made them big again.

00:32:25.000 Everything fits me magically. 0.98

00:32:27.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.97

00:32:29.000 And I don't care if you work in the sewers. 0.99

00:32:33.000 I don't care if you're Norton from the Honeymooners.

00:32:36.000 You should have at least one suit that fits you perfectly, one high-quality dress shirt. 0.99

00:32:41.000 And then the ties and shit you can get. 0.97

00:32:43.000 I go to tiebar.com, $20 ties. 0.99

00:32:47.000 It's nice to have a nice Brooks Brothers tie, but it's really like 4% better than a $20 tie.

00:32:53.000 And they're $80.

00:32:55.000 So cheap rich guys go to Nita Fashions and they get outfitted from head to toe.

00:33:02.000 And then once you start, it's sort of like a tattoo.

00:33:04.000 Once you get one, you want another one, and then you start getting creative.

00:33:07.000 Hey, that's my exact suit. 1.00

00:33:08.000 I stole your fucking suit. 1.00

00:33:09.000 That motherfucker stole my suit. 1.00

00:33:11.000 Yeah, I recognize that jacket. 1.00

00:33:12.000 That suit. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:33:15.000 Well, I stole it from Animal House, so I'll forgive him. 1.00

00:33:19.000 But nitafashions.com.

00:33:22.000 And these guys are old school tailors, like Salville Row levels.

00:33:25.000 You don't really get this anymore.

00:33:27.000 And if you do in New York, you're looking at five to seven grand for this quality of tailor. 0.99

00:33:31.000 Look at that Kingsman-esque shit right there. 0.99

00:33:36.000 That is nice. 0.99

00:33:37.000 It would have to be a hell of an occasion, though.

00:33:38.000 Yeah, I know.

00:33:39.000 Yeah.

00:33:39.000 I would just look for occasions like this.

00:33:41.000 You can't, like, go to a steak dinner and that.

00:33:43.000 It's like a smoking jacket.

00:33:45.000 It is.

00:33:45.000 Yeah, I think it is.

00:33:46.000 You can't just dig through shit looking for gold in India if you're going to wear a ceiling. 0.89

00:33:51.000 By the way, they sent me the time code, and apparently I was a little off. 0.92

00:33:55.000 Oh, it's been updated.

00:33:57.000 The show is getting updated live?

00:33:59.000 That's correct.

00:34:00.000 All right, let's watch young Indian children, which is unfortunate because we're just talking about Nita fashions and how classy they are. 1.00

00:34:05.000 And it's Indians who run it in Hong Kong, not Chinese, because China is an asshole. 0.99

00:34:11.000 But we're going to say goodbye to this ad so we don't sell their brand. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Close the gate. 1.00

00:34:18.000 And then we're going to see Indians dig through shit looking for particles of gold. 1.00

00:34:25.000 That's a ceiling fan. 0.99

00:34:26.000 Three shadows slip discreetly through the streets of the gold district at about nine in the evening.

00:34:32.000 But you don't eat gold when you work with gold.

00:34:35.000 That's what I'm trying to say.

00:34:36.000 What do they inhale it? 1.00

00:34:37.000 That's like trying to get fabric from Taylor's shit. 1.00

00:34:41.000 But I guess because if it's so fine, you would inhale it or swallow it maybe. 1.00

00:34:47.000 Okay.

00:34:47.000 I don't get it.

00:34:48.000 So now we're talking about dust, like flour.

00:34:52.000 You know, it would be go through their sewer or shower pipes if they took a shower if they had gold dust.

00:34:58.000 I don't know.

00:34:59.000 I'm just saying.

00:35:00.000 That makes more sense.

00:35:01.000 If you work making gold and you're like, and then you have a shower, but eating it.

00:35:16.000 Okay, this is their time code.

00:35:19.000 23-24.

00:35:20.000 Once a month, Ghazi and his two employees search through the sewers.

00:35:27.000 Dude, what is the value?

00:35:30.000 These are the waste waters from the goldsmiths. 0.97

00:35:34.000 The workshops are just behind, and their pipes empty out here.

00:35:38.000 Can't you just get a job at McDonald's?

00:35:45.000 Does that smell bad, you think?

00:35:47.000 Yeah, no, it smells good.

00:35:49.000 Years ago, I used to work in the sewers.

00:35:51.000 Really?

00:35:51.000 Oh, yeah?

00:35:52.000 Local 731. 1.00

00:35:54.000 The shit in India actually, it's two negatives make a positive, and it ends up tasting like cotton candy. 1.00

00:35:59.000 Oh, interesting. 1.00

00:36:00.000 Wait, why is Maddie blurry?

00:36:01.000 Are you using a different camera for him?

00:36:03.000 Yeah, he's not.

00:36:04.000 Look at him.

00:36:04.000 He's crisp.

00:36:05.000 He looks pretty blurry to me.

00:36:06.000 I see a crisp.

00:36:07.000 Why'd you use a different camera for him?

00:36:09.000 Because our sparks stopped negotiating with our TriCaster, and I'm working on it, but we had to transition from that shoot, so not enough time to do that.

00:36:19.000 Wait, we were done the shoot at 5.

00:36:21.000 The show's at 9.

00:36:23.000 Yeah, but, you know, I have to contact TriCaster and all that stuff, or NewTek, rather.

00:36:29.000 And...

00:36:31.000 Did you go home and have dinner?

00:36:33.000 I did.

00:36:35.000 And I edited half the show that we did.

00:36:38.000 But that's not how someone who's dealing with an emergency behaves.

00:36:42.000 Hold on a second.

00:36:43.000 And then it was working, and then it wasn't working.

00:36:49.000 I'm not familiar with this concept of computers being on and off.

00:36:54.000 I know they're like old-timey Model T Fords, 1982 Chevy Nova, maybe.

00:37:02.000 But computers, they're pretty much yes or no.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, true.

00:37:08.000 I mean, we put different cameras into the Sparks, so maybe that had something to do with it, but nothing had changed except for us setting up for that shoot, so I'm confused too.

00:37:16.000 But I'll get to the bottom of it.

00:37:18.000 Just like they're getting to the bottom of this to find gold.

00:37:21.000 Yeah, I don't care anymore. 0.99

00:37:23.000 I think we should wrap it up as far as the free shit goes. 0.99

00:37:27.000 We've read for our three sponsors, and I like to punish the freeloaders with ads. 0.98

00:37:33.000 But now it's going to be all gravy for the people who pay $10 a month.

00:37:37.000 And once again, if you subscribe to censored.tv, you literally get more content than you could watch.

00:37:47.000 If you do watch 100% of our content, you need to get a life because that's like four or five hours a day.

00:37:53.000 You shouldn't have four or five hours a day to throw away at incredibly entertaining, slightly right of center television.

00:38:00.000 And I don't even like saying slightly right of center.

00:38:03.000 We're anti-government.

00:38:04.000 We're just normal.

00:38:06.000 All we do is say America's not racist, sexist, transphobic. 1.00

00:38:10.000 That's bullshit. 1.00

00:38:11.000 This news is ridiculous. 1.00

00:38:12.000 That woman didn't have no pre-existing conditions. 1.00

00:38:15.000 She was a fat pig. 1.00

00:38:16.000 That's why she died of COVID. 1.00

00:38:18.000 Basically, our news is just the way your brother talks at his local bar. 0.97

00:38:24.000 Normal shit, which has become very radical and highly cancelable and very dangerous and contentious in the year 2021. 0.98

00:38:32.000 In Clown World, to be normal is to be a radical. 0.99

00:38:36.000 And to be a radical lefty is normal. 0.98

00:38:40.000 So if you live in a slightly liberal town or a very liberal town like Manhattan, LA, you start to think that you're nuts.

00:38:49.000 And then you tune into this show every day at 8 o'clock and you realize, oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:38:56.000 Everyone else is fucking nuts. 0.99

00:38:59.000 And then you get inspired and you go, I'm sick of hiding. 1.00

00:39:03.000 I'm sick of pretending that I don't love Trump.

00:39:06.000 I'm sick of pretending that I love Joe Biden and I think that he did a great job in Afghanistan. 0.99

00:39:13.000 I'm sick of pretending that I know who the fuck Kamala Harris is or what any of her policies are. 1.00

00:39:18.000 No one knows this bitch. 1.00

00:39:20.000 She's a stranger and there's nothing fucking black about her. 1.00

00:39:24.000 See, that's how normal people talk. 0.99

00:39:26.000 So then you get in trouble because you say too much.

00:39:29.000 And that's the way it should be.

00:39:31.000 We should get in trouble.

00:39:32.000 We should get fired.

00:39:34.000 We should be brave.

00:39:35.000 And we should never stop fighting.

00:40:00.000 Now, Americans should start Christmas shopping early because there's going to be...

00:40:05.000 Hold on, hold on, let's establish this.

00:40:08.000 Kamala Harris is in Saigon.

00:40:10.000 Wait a minute, before you even start talking about this, of all the places on earth to go to, she went to Saigon.

00:40:17.000 Now, the running meme this entire week has been that big two.

00:40:21.000 A stage 47 Chinook.

00:40:23.000 A stage 47 Chinook picking up people in Saigon in whenever it was, 75.

00:40:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:30.000 And then the exact same Chinook picking up people at the embassy in Kabul. 0.98

00:40:36.000 Yeah.

00:40:36.000 And everything looks the same, except the buildings look a little bit different, but everything looks the same.

00:40:41.000 And then she decides to fly into the meme and go to fucking Saigon. 1.00

00:40:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:48.000 What were you thinking?

00:40:51.000 Well, she probably just laughed. 0.99

00:40:56.000 What did she say?

00:40:57.000 She told Americans that they should start Christmas shopping early because of the supply shortage in America.

00:41:04.000 Like, you might not be able to get what you want when it gets closer to Christmas time.

00:41:09.000 Because things are going to be going so well.

00:42:11.000 die to Yeah,

00:42:32.000 so I agree.

00:42:36.000 What's that song?

00:42:38.000 No chance.

00:42:48.000 I think they made me with the Russians on that one. 0.99

00:42:50.000 What's a good song to go kill people to, man? 0.96

00:42:52.000 I would say maybe El Niño, When It Cuts. 0.99

00:42:58.000 I'm not familiar with that.

00:43:00.000 The band is El Niño?

00:43:01.000 El Niño.

00:43:02.000 And it's When It Cuts.

00:43:06.000 El Niño.

00:43:08.000 El Niño. 1.00

00:43:12.000 Oh shit. 0.99

00:43:13.000 Remember that song? 0.99

00:43:14.000 You showed me one, what was it, Ra or something?

00:43:16.000 Where it was like they're playing with the.

00:43:18.000 Yeah, that's live.

00:43:20.000 They're playing with the...

00:43:21.000 I don't know how good a version that would be.

00:43:23.000 True.

00:43:25.000 Who are you talking to?

00:43:26.000 Me or Maddie?

00:43:27.000 You...

00:43:29.000 They played with these Aboriginals that played drums. 0.95

00:43:31.000 Oh, Sepultura.

00:43:32.000 Sepaltura. 1.00

00:43:35.000 They went to the fucking Brazilian rainforest and hung out with Aboriginals there, like bones through your nose dudes. 1.00

00:43:42.000 Spoke, didn't learn their language, but got them to record stuff and then made an album called Roots. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Yeah, that shit's fucking awesome. 0.99

00:43:53.000 And then Corn stole it. 1.00

00:43:55.000 So when you hear Corn going, they're just imitating the ABBOs from the rainforest that Sepaltura dug up. 0.99

00:44:05.000 Because they're from Brazil, Sepaltura.

00:44:07.000 This is El Niño.

00:44:10.000 Jump in like a third.

00:44:17.000 Can you listen to music in prison?

00:44:19.000 Yeah.

00:44:20.000 Any song you want?

00:44:21.000 Well, now, from what I understand, you have like tablets and you have like an iPod, I mean, iTunes account.

00:44:29.000 And back then, though, they used to have portable disc mans that you can put a CD in.

00:44:37.000 But then people started stealing the motors out of them to make tattoo guns.

00:44:40.000 So then they had like a listening room where you could put a selection down of music you wanted to hear and they would play like a different random order of it.

00:44:49.000 In the room?

00:44:50.000 No, it was in RAC.

00:44:52.000 It was part of what they call passive rec.

00:44:54.000 Like you'd go in like the little sound booth room and it'd be like four or five stations.

00:44:58.000 No, it was like four or five people in there.

00:45:00.000 And they give you a headset and they plug it in the wall.

00:45:03.000 Oh.

00:45:04.000 But you also had your radio, because you needed a radio walkman to listen to the TV in Federal Prison.

00:45:10.000 So you could listen to radio stations with that?

00:45:12.000 Yeah.

00:45:13.000 Yeah.

00:45:14.000 Hmm.

00:45:15.000 You know what song?

00:45:17.000 I have to try not to kill people when I listen to it.

00:45:19.000 I played it for you on the way back to DC that one time.

00:45:22.000 Nobody by Skindred.

00:45:23.000 It's a Rasta-led metal band.

00:45:25.000 What's that one now? 0.99

00:45:26.000 This already sucks. 0.97

00:45:36.000 15 seconds. 0.99

00:45:50.000 You are the king of cringe.

00:45:52.000 You literally loved it.

00:45:53.000 King cringe.

00:45:54.000 Well, you're literally no backbone because you loved it at one time.

00:45:58.000 What's that got to do with a backbone?

00:46:00.000 Maybe a bad memory?

00:46:01.000 A man with a backbone loves a thing and never stops.

00:46:04.000 What?

00:46:06.000 Let me see a picture of them because I'm imagining a white dude with dreads.

00:46:10.000 No.

00:46:11.000 This is a real dude.

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:17.000 Yeah, that's not embarrassing at all.

00:46:18.000 Well, he's surrounded by his song.

00:46:20.000 What is he my age?

00:46:22.000 He wasn't in 2004 when that song came out.

00:46:29.000 You didn't even let it slap the way it was supposed to.

00:46:32.000 Yeah, whatever.

00:46:34.000 I found that No Chance in Hell song.

00:46:37.000 That's Vince McMahon's entrance music.

00:46:39.000 Oh, really?

00:46:40.000 Yeah.

00:46:40.000 From WWF.

00:46:42.000 Is it a band? 0.99

00:46:44.000 I don't know who the fuck made this song. 0.99

00:46:48.000 Peter Berserker. 0.99

00:46:49.000 No, it's an in-house.

00:46:52.000 Is this one that goes...

00:46:52.000 No chance!

00:46:57.000 No, that's not what I'm talking about.

00:46:59.000 That's also cringe.

00:47:00.000 You're making the hairs on my back stand up.

00:47:03.000 Alright, speaking of cringe, we have a baby monster saying, have you guys heard of the Dread Knots?

00:47:13.000 What a terrible name for a band.

00:47:16.000 They're a Canadian folk punk band.

00:47:43.000 Pretty bad name, though.

00:47:45.000 Gavin, my kid has the sprinkles.

00:47:47.000 Okay, probably not, but I hope this video makes you laugh and presents yet another example of what having kids does for your life.

00:47:52.000 Also, we aren't on social media, so this is exclusive to baby monsters.

00:47:59.000 Spicy.

00:48:01.000 Which one?

00:48:02.000 That one?

00:48:03.000 That one's too much.

00:48:05.000 Smell it first, please.

00:48:07.000 I don't think that's a good idea, Dad.

00:48:09.000 I think that's cool.

00:48:10.000 Just dab your finger.

00:48:12.000 Yeah, that's about enough.

00:48:18.000 You did not give her the basket, did you?

00:48:30.000 He's like, what did I do?

00:48:35.000 Is it too spicy?

00:48:37.000 It's too spicy.

00:48:44.000 Still going.

00:48:52.000 Thank you.

00:48:54.000 Like how he gets a thank you in there.

00:48:57.000 What's the verdict, boss?

00:49:02.000 It's funny because he keeps like moving his back.

00:49:04.000 Don't you cut away?

00:49:05.000 It's ended.

00:49:05.000 Oh, that's funny.

00:49:06.000 I do at the end of the day. 0.98

00:49:07.000 That was pretty fucking funny. 0.97

00:49:09.000 Yeah. 0.88

00:49:09.000 Thank you. 0.88

00:49:11.000 I love those videos of like babies trying lemons for the first time.

00:49:17.000 You should have an all-baby show. 0.84

00:49:18.000 The world is a glib, gloomy place.

00:49:21.000 Glib?

00:49:23.000 The world's a glib, gloomy place.

00:49:26.000 What does glib mean, Ryan?

00:49:28.000 Jiminy glib.

00:49:29.000 Jiminy glib.

00:49:30.000 The world is very glib, you know.

00:49:32.000 Don't look it up.

00:49:33.000 Tell us what glib means.

00:49:35.000 I thought it was like a interchangeable with bleak.

00:49:39.000 No.

00:49:40.000 Smug.

00:49:41.000 Oh, really? 1.00

00:49:42.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:49:44.000 Hey, Zar Gavin, Bolshevik guy. 1.00

00:49:45.000 Gavin has got me thinking about the proper rating scale, how to judge a woman. 0.99

00:49:49.000 This is obviously subjective.

00:49:50.000 This girl ranges between a three and an eight. 0.98

00:49:54.000 Kind of impressive.

00:49:55.000 Her name is Nikita Ackerman.

00:50:00.000 Wow, that's a hell of a range.

00:50:02.000 Like that one, the one with the glasses is like a cute, fun five.

00:50:07.000 Four.

00:50:08.000 Right? 1.00

00:50:10.000 Just an asexual, your friend's little sister or some shit. 1.00

00:50:13.000 Just. 1.00

00:50:14.000 Yeah.

00:50:14.000 Hey, you're a girl.

00:50:15.000 Yeah.

00:50:17.000 Someone who can like tune a piano.

00:50:19.000 And then there's this girl where she comes over, you guys are going out with your wife and stuff. 1.00

00:50:26.000 And then your wife sees you look at her and go, what the fuck? 1.00

00:50:28.000 And then you and your wife get into a dumb fight. 1.00

00:50:31.000 Because your wife's mad that you looked at her that way. 1.00

00:50:36.000 Pretty hot.

00:50:39.000 No chance.

00:50:42.000 Hey, Groundskeeper Willie and Groundskeeper know Willie.

00:50:46.000 Oh, Maddie's not invited to this.

00:50:48.000 This guy reminds me of Flight of the Concords.

00:50:50.000 He has sprinkles, and every now and then, like this video, keep on punching.

00:50:54.000 I don't know, man.

00:50:55.000 You guys are way too generous with your sprinkles.

00:50:59.000 Alright, can I get these in a size 11, please?

00:51:01.000 Oh, sorry.

00:51:02.000 I don't work here.

00:51:04.000 Oh.

00:51:05.000 It's just you were folding the clothes.

00:51:07.000 Yes, I'm just very tidy.

00:51:09.000 The badge?

00:51:11.000 Oh, uh.

00:51:13.000 Hmm.

00:51:14.000 Is that...

00:51:15.000 I think that's part of the clothes.

00:51:17.000 Oh, I think it's like a branding thing.

00:51:19.000 Oh, I work here.

00:51:22.000 Hi, can I help?

00:51:23.000 I work it here.

00:51:23.000 Yes.

00:51:24.000 Are you the manager?

00:51:25.000 Yes.

00:51:25.000 Could I get these in a size 11, please?

00:51:27.000 Oh, sorry.

00:51:28.000 No, I don't work here.

00:51:30.000 I thought you said you were the manager.

00:51:32.000 Yes.

00:51:33.000 Manager of what?

00:51:34.000 Real Madrid.

00:51:36.000 Going to the Spanish. 0.99

00:51:42.000 Everything's brilliant.

00:51:44.000 This guy has to be a foreigner.

00:51:46.000 Could I get these in a size 10?

00:51:47.000 I'm going to have to.

00:51:48.000 I don't usually respond to people.

00:51:50.000 I know.

00:51:51.000 But I got to email this guy.

00:51:53.000 I'm just going to say, are you a foreigner?

00:51:55.000 Do you think it's an insult if he finds both you and them funny?

00:52:00.000 Yeah, that hurts my feelings.

00:52:02.000 It's a concern.

00:52:02.000 That would be a good sketch.

00:52:04.000 You have a guy, she's dating some guy, and she's like, oh my god, I've never been treated like this before.

00:52:10.000 He's so enthusiastic, and it's so flattering. 0.55

00:52:12.000 And then later, you see him ogling some incredibly fat woman.

00:52:18.000 I got to work on the punchline a bit there.

00:52:21.000 There was a woman on the train the other day.

00:52:22.000 I'm coming up from the city, and she's a chubby nurse. 0.91

00:52:27.000 She's getting off in the Bronx. 1.00

00:52:30.000 Her ass is about this big, but everything else was okay. 1.00

00:52:35.000 Am I being too big? 1.00

00:52:36.000 Yeah, I'm being too big.

00:52:37.000 This big.

00:52:38.000 Shaped like a pear.

00:52:40.000 Pretty pearry, but also with a bit of a gunt.

00:52:43.000 And she's on the phone.

00:52:45.000 She has AirPods.

00:52:46.000 Is her Diet the Perry project? 0.85

00:52:49.000 Go ahead.

00:52:51.000 Wait, someone's calling us.

00:52:53.000 Call Dr. Steve.

00:52:54.000 All the scat stuff is fake.

00:52:56.000 Dr. Steve, the Howard Stern doctor, and also Opi and Anthony's doctor.

00:53:02.000 Oh, he's telling us about the porn stuff. 0.74

00:53:04.000 Chip porn. 0.99

00:53:04.000 Yeah, but the puke. 0.99

00:53:05.000 We already got to the puke part, which is real.

00:53:07.000 All right.

00:53:08.000 Thanks, Vincent.

00:53:09.000 So she's holding her phone like this, and she's talking this loud, and she's not over by the doors.

00:53:15.000 She's with us in the chairs.

00:53:17.000 And I could touch her.

00:53:19.000 She's this far away from me. 1.00

00:53:23.000 I could just, if I threw a banana, I would throw it this hard to hit her in the face. 1.00

00:53:27.000 People there, people there, everyone's around. 0.99

00:53:29.000 And she's just like, yeah, hey, long time, no C. Yeah, no, I did.

00:53:34.000 He ended up moving in.

00:53:35.000 And, you know, at the beginning, we got along because we're going through, both going through a divorce.

00:53:40.000 He's got two kids, you know.

00:53:42.000 And we sort of bonded on that.

00:53:45.000 And then I asked him to move in, moved in for a while.

00:53:49.000 And then, you know, we just stopped having sex.

00:53:55.000 And he's just playing video games all the time.

00:53:57.000 So I go, you know, it's over. 0.99

00:53:59.000 And then he wanted me back and he wanted to fuck all the time. 1.00

00:54:02.000 She didn't say fuck, actually. 1.00

00:54:03.000 She pretended to have some sort of decency. 0.99

00:54:06.000 And then she goes, and then after that, there was like, there was a lot of guys, but there's like three main guys.

00:54:11.000 So there was this Italian guy right at a bar.

00:54:14.000 And I really, like, I said to him, I'm going home with you tonight.

00:54:18.000 And he was great.

00:54:20.000 That was amazing.

00:54:21.000 He was super young.

00:54:21.000 It was a baby.

00:54:22.000 He was like 19.

00:54:24.000 And then there was this other guy, this Turkish guy.

00:54:27.000 And he just wanted to do it like all the time.

00:54:30.000 He was over, like he was only over for like that night.

00:54:33.000 And then we slept over the morning.

00:54:34.000 We did it five times.

00:54:37.000 But each time was only like 20 seconds.

00:54:39.000 And I was like, I didn't get anything out of that, you know?

00:54:42.000 Just sitting there talking like this.

00:54:45.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:54:47.000 Obviously not. 1.00

00:54:49.000 Now, tell me if I'm a pussy, because I was thinking, I got to say something. 1.00

00:54:54.000 And then I was thinking, I'm just going to go, it's a lot of fucking. 1.00

00:55:01.000 A lot of fucking. 0.99

00:55:03.000 Why didn't I do that? 1.00

00:55:04.000 I think I just chickened out.

00:55:07.000 And then I was also going to say, has it ever occurred to you that your troubles with men, your divorce, and all these other guys not calling you back might have something to do with the fact that you're a colostomy bag for Strangers Come?

00:55:20.000 That would have been funny. 0.99

00:55:21.000 And it would have had content for the show instead of this pussy story of me just sitting there going, oh, God. 1.00

00:55:32.000 Hey, Gavin and Lime's boy, the video of the punk and the skin and pepper spray ain't London. 1.00

00:55:38.000 Fuck no, it's some European city. 0.99

00:55:40.000 Yeah, I think it's Denmark. 1.00

00:55:44.000 There was something not right about those punks.

00:55:46.000 They were too perfect.

00:55:50.000 Hey, you great-minded humans.

00:55:51.000 It's trippy sometimes when you show clips or comment on projects that I've had something to do with.

00:55:55.000 I've worked on films for 38 years, and yes, even in Hollywood, still do.

00:55:59.000 I have some insight into the Twilight Film CG Baby thing, if you want to know.

00:56:03.000 I worked on that, and others in the series.

00:56:06.000 But first of all, films are cheesy drek, although hugely funded. 0.96

00:56:10.000 Yes, kidding porn for 13-year-old Mormon girls containing cute vampires and muscly werewolves.

00:56:16.000 Anyway, for what it's worth, you got the wrong angle with the CG baby thing. 0.57

00:56:21.000 They didn't just make a CG baby CGI for some odd reason.

00:56:27.000 They had the idea from the original author's books.

00:56:29.000 I don't know, but the child grows incredibly fast so that by the end of the film, she looks like maybe an eight-year-old or some such.

00:56:36.000 So if you look at the face and the hand in the film clip you showed, you can see now, knowing this goal, that what they did was paste an older child's face onto a baby's head and stretched out the fingers of her hand to give the impression this baby isn't normal and was already a bit prescient,

00:56:51.000 even at just a few weeks.

00:56:53.000 They grow up so fast in spades.

00:56:57.000 Now, well, that may have been their aim, but that didn't come across.

00:57:03.000 Like, if a baby grows nine years in like a week, it's still going to look like a normal baby when you look at it for three seconds.

00:57:13.000 Wouldn't it just be an older baby?

00:57:15.000 Then you get to cast an older baby.

00:57:17.000 Yeah, just get an older baby. 0.94

00:57:20.000 It looks the same.

00:57:21.000 Yeah.

00:57:22.000 Unless it's supposed to be a horrifying creep, which the mission accomplished.

00:57:28.000 You could have accomplished all that with a normal baby.

00:57:33.000 Whatever.

00:57:34.000 I can't believe I'm writing you guys about this.

00:57:35.000 I guess it's just that you guys give so much great info.

00:57:38.000 I figure if not something, blah, blah, blah.

00:57:40.000 I thought I should share it.

00:57:46.000 And then he says, don't read this on air.

00:57:51.000 But here are some boards about what they were going to do later.

00:57:54.000 Okay, we won't read that on air.

00:57:55.000 Whatever.

00:57:58.000 And we have an email with zero content.

00:58:01.000 Oh, here we go.

00:58:03.000 If you guys haven't seen this YouTube channel, I think you're going to like it.

00:58:07.000 Progmetal MAGA.

00:58:18.000 Yeah, I'm bored of that dude.

00:58:23.000 Also, the song Beast of No Nation by Fila Kuti would be a great opening song since it relates to the Prowboys being in jail for nothing. 0.59

00:58:30.000 It's about how Fila was arrested and given five years.

00:58:35.000 When he got out, his fans wanted to know what his life was like in jail, but he just tells him not to worry.

00:58:39.000 Surely, whoever's jailed him wanted to make an example out of him, and he knew it would be better for the people to not fear jail. 0.88

00:58:46.000 My people are senseless, my people are useless, my people are undisciplined. 1.00

00:58:49.000 I feel like I've heard that before. 0.99

00:58:52.000 I feel like Cootie's a badass.

00:58:58.000 I thought you couldn't.

00:59:01.000 We got a pun coming up, folks. 0.98

00:59:03.000 It's going to suck. 0.97

00:59:04.000 Yes, Ryan. 0.96

00:59:05.000 No, why would the cops want to catch Cooties? 1.00

00:59:12.000 Davy Monster likes it.

00:59:13.000 Circle, circle, bat, bat.

00:59:14.000 Now you got my cootie shot. 0.91

00:59:19.000 Okay, this is another letter.

00:59:21.000 HBO's White Lotus.

00:59:22.000 You are right.

00:59:23.000 White Lotus is an absolute masterpiece.

00:59:25.000 I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the moral of the story.

00:59:28.000 I have my own theories, and in a way, the moral is kind of red-pilled.

00:59:32.000 But that isn't my point today.

00:59:33.000 I want to focus on the storyline about the young man, Quinn Mosbatcher.

00:59:37.000 Maybe creator Mike White imagined your influence on young men creating this character. 0.94

00:59:41.000 When we meet Quinn, he's a beta loser addicted to porn who plays video games.

00:59:45.000 However, I was interested to hear him joke with his dad using your quips about the problem with men today. 0.99

00:59:50.000 Something like, we cannot harass girls anymore. 0.84

00:59:53.000 And you mean, like, we're cucked.

00:59:55.000 See the video stamp 125.

00:59:58.000 Why?

00:59:59.000 Because we can't harass girls anymore? 1.00

01:00:04.000 You mean like we're cucked? 0.94

01:00:07.000 Yeah.

01:00:12.000 What's the matter with harassing a girl, by the way? 1.00

01:00:15.000 Like, my angle used to be, no, it's not harassment.

01:00:18.000 It's just flattering and blah, blah, blah.

01:00:20.000 You're taking it wrong.

01:00:21.000 But now I'm like, well, what if it was pure harassment?

01:00:26.000 What's the matter with sexual harassment?

01:00:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:00:31.000 Patrice O'Neill wanted that national holiday where one day out of the year, you're allowed to completely harass your coworkers, your female coworkers. 1.00

01:00:39.000 Like, what if your boss...

01:00:41.000 I'm just thinking outside the box here. 0.99

01:00:43.000 So you're a woman, you work at a job, you like this job, your boss comes over and just squeezes both your ass cheeks, right? 1.00

01:00:50.000 Is he going to get away with that kind of behavior very long? 0.98

01:00:54.000 I mean, people aren't going to want to work with him.

01:00:57.000 The word's going to get out.

01:00:58.000 He's going to get fired.

01:00:59.000 Pretend it's not illegal.

01:01:02.000 People are going to quit the second they get a better job.

01:01:05.000 The boss, his boss is going to go, why are all these qualified women leaving? 1.00

01:01:08.000 Oh, he tends to grab their ass. 1.00

01:01:10.000 Won't it just sort of naturally end? 1.00

01:01:13.000 But wouldn't you, if like that was your sister, wouldn't you go beat the shit out of the guy? 0.99

01:01:16.000 Yeah, that sounds good. 0.99

01:01:17.000 That law kind of protects that guy.

01:01:19.000 Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

01:01:22.000 I don't know.

01:01:22.000 I'm going to probably flesh out ideas that are that controversial.

01:01:26.000 Well, physical harassment's different from just, hey, how you doing?

01:01:30.000 I just, sometimes, like, I'm very sympathetic to women because we're sort of made to be.

01:01:35.000 But then I think about the way I've spoken to my coworkers and the way my job has gone and all my other jobs and the way, I don't know, like I've punched you before.

01:01:47.000 I literally asked for it.

01:01:50.000 I literally asked for it. 0.99

01:01:51.000 No, but there's times when I've like lost my temper and like shoved you and stuff and threatened to kill your entire family. 0.95

01:01:56.000 Yeah.

01:01:57.000 I mean, that's how you get the job done.

01:02:00.000 Yeah, I don't take it personal.

01:02:01.000 It's business. 0.88

01:02:02.000 Women do not belong in the workforce. 1.00

01:02:04.000 You've done this to me.

01:02:06.000 This hovered.

01:02:09.000 Yeah, like, how affluent of a society are we living in when that is considered bad? 0.99

01:02:19.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:02:20.000 You can't even make a move. 1.00

01:02:22.000 What's the worst you've ever been beaten, Maddie?

01:02:25.000 Beaten?

01:02:25.000 Beaten.

01:02:26.000 B-E-A-T-E. 0.99

01:02:27.000 I've been beaten pretty bad.

01:02:29.000 Describe the worst.

01:02:30.000 You don't have to get into why and all that stuff. 0.67

01:02:32.000 I've had about seven guys stomp the shit out of me. 0.90

01:02:34.000 Ouch. 0.92

01:02:36.000 Seven.

01:02:37.000 And like stomping on your head.

01:02:38.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:02:39.000 Kicking you in the ribs. 0.87

01:02:40.000 Did they knock you unconscious? 0.96

01:02:41.000 Everything.

01:02:42.000 No, I never lost conscious.

01:02:44.000 Are we allowed to know why?

01:02:48.000 I pissed them off, actually, obviously.

01:02:52.000 And then what happened to you?

01:02:54.000 You went to the hospital?

01:02:56.000 No.

01:02:56.000 Oh.

01:02:57.000 I just kind of sucked it up. 0.97

01:02:59.000 Did you piss blood? 0.54

01:03:00.000 No, I did not piss blood.

01:03:02.000 I thought my ribs were broken.

01:03:04.000 They did some numbers on my ribs.

01:03:05.000 They hurt for five weeks?

01:03:07.000 They hurt for a while, yeah.

01:03:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:09.000 Was your face just complete like mush or like it took a while to recover your face?

01:03:16.000 I mean, I don't want to say that I covered up pretty well.

01:03:19.000 I mean, you're not going to.

01:03:20.000 Oh, you were wearing makeup back then.

01:03:23.000 Well, no, you know, at some point, you're going to end up on the ground in a fetal position, just covering your head, your face.

01:03:30.000 So, you know, blows did get through and stuff like that.

01:03:33.000 I'm not saying everyone has to go through a beating of seven guys. 0.96

01:03:36.000 I'm just saying you talk to most people and they've, especially men, and they've had a horrible ass kicking once or twice in their lives.

01:03:43.000 Oh, the idea of like a hand touching your elbow when you didn't want it to. 0.62

01:03:49.000 Not too intrusive.

01:03:50.000 They complain about the AC being oppressive.

01:03:53.000 You know that.

01:03:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:54.000 I mean, I've had homos grab my ass. 1.00

01:03:57.000 I think it's funny. 1.00

01:03:59.000 I mean, at what point when does human nature come in and if you think things are going your way or you're having a shot with a girl, you have to break the ice.

01:04:08.000 You have to make a move.

01:04:10.000 You have to do something.

01:04:11.000 Right.

01:04:14.000 I feel bad for younger kids today because they're brought up under this.

01:04:19.000 Like when we were young, you reached in and kissed a girl.

01:04:23.000 What was she going to do?

01:04:23.000 Smack you in the face?

01:04:24.000 Well, the two things with sexual harassment in the workforce are one thing that's amorphous and impossible to describe or quantify.

01:04:35.000 It's that there was an atmosphere of sexuality in the air. 0.99

01:04:40.000 I don't know how the fuck you prove or disprove that. 1.00

01:04:43.000 One guy got in shit because he had a picture behind him of a woman in a bikini. 1.00

01:04:47.000 And he's like, it's my wife. 1.00

01:04:48.000 We're on our honeymoon.

01:04:50.000 And they go, sorry, too sexual.

01:04:52.000 And he goes, but wait a minute.

01:04:53.000 We're in Times Square.

01:04:54.000 If you look at the window, there's a Victoria's Secret ad.

01:04:57.000 That's out the window.

01:04:58.000 That's in life.

01:04:59.000 And it's also in the same Range of view as my wife in a bikini.

01:05:04.000 And then, so that's nuts.

01:05:06.000 But then the other one is quid pro quo, where they say, if you blow me, you'll get a raise.

01:05:12.000 No, now for this, I'm not blowing you.

01:05:16.000 Yeah, I don't want to give you the raise.

01:05:22.000 Like if Donald Trump said, I can free John and Max, but you have to blow me.

01:05:26.000 I'd be like, it's not one other thing you could think of.

01:05:30.000 I'll eat a spider this big.

01:05:34.000 I'll wear.

01:05:35.000 Can you eat it while blowing human feces as glasses for three weeks? 1.00

01:05:40.000 I mean, my dick's not that bad. 1.00

01:05:42.000 I don't know why you. 1.00

01:05:44.000 Fucking. 1.00

01:05:45.000 Is that a full blowjob? 1.00

01:05:47.000 This teacher of ours used to massage our backs all the time. 0.99

01:05:52.000 And that was pretty weird, but we were just like, ugh, just Coach Palela.

01:05:56.000 Really?

01:05:57.000 Yeah.

01:05:57.000 Like, I remember when somebody mentioned him.

01:06:03.000 I was.

01:06:05.000 Wait, what's your camera?

01:06:06.000 He literally does that to me.

01:06:07.000 If Maddie has the 360 cam, oh, you swoosh over it. 1.00

01:06:14.000 Well, I got to admit, you fixed this problem pretty quickly.

01:06:17.000 Yeah, I had this in mind since the moment I was getting troubles with that.

01:06:20.000 I was like, if anything, we could just do this.

01:06:24.000 So your coach went, what age is this?

01:06:28.000 10th grade?

01:06:30.000 So you're like, the whole high school he was there.

01:06:34.000 Yeah, you know, it didn't feel weird.

01:06:36.000 He was just drunk all the time.

01:06:38.000 He used to put vodka in his coffee.

01:06:40.000 That's it.

01:06:40.000 So he's fine.

01:06:42.000 But he had Harry.

01:06:42.000 He's a little meatball of a guy, hairy knuckles, a horseshoe bald pattern.

01:06:46.000 And he would come up behind you as you're working and he would just kind of go.

01:06:51.000 That's pretty good, yeah.

01:06:52.000 Good job.

01:06:54.000 Good job at what?

01:06:55.000 What are you, like doing your schoolwork? 1.00

01:06:56.000 Just doing bullshit. 0.99

01:06:57.000 I thought he was a phys ed coach. 1.00

01:06:59.000 Yeah, but he would substitute teach.

01:07:01.000 You know?

01:07:02.000 And so coaches are touchy.

01:07:05.000 Maybe that's his way of teaching.

01:07:06.000 But it never felt like a weird.

01:07:08.000 It sounds like too much of the indecence.

01:07:10.000 Really?

01:07:11.000 We never got that vibe. 0.77

01:07:12.000 I mean, our principal was a child molester.

01:07:15.000 Oh, my God. 0.95

01:07:16.000 Really?

01:07:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:07:17.000 He was also a football coach, and he would do weird shit with it. 0.76

01:07:21.000 And then, you know, it wasn't until we graduated that we found out. 0.96

01:07:25.000 What was his name? 1.00

01:07:25.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:07:27.000 Rossi. 1.00

01:07:28.000 Principal Rossi.

01:07:29.000 We'll pull him up.

01:07:31.000 Yeah, let's see. 1.00

01:07:31.000 Oh, shit, you're right. 1.00

01:07:33.000 Wait, there's probably like articles about him. 1.00

01:07:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:35.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:07:36.000 What, you didn't think of that? 1.00

01:07:38.000 When I was in the special class, there was James Gunn, Mr. Gunn, and he looked like Jack Palance, who you won't know.

01:07:45.000 And he wore cowboy boots, and he had this hairdo, which was very unusual in the mid-80s.

01:07:51.000 And the girl I liked at that time was Donna DeLeva.

01:07:57.000 And apparently he put his hand down the front of her sweatshirt and grabbed her jugs.

01:08:01.000 Oh.

01:08:02.000 Wow.

01:08:02.000 He was a great teacher that we really liked.

01:08:04.000 And he was dealing with severely handicapped people. 0.99

01:08:08.000 The class I was in in eighth grade wasn't just for dumb kids. 0.99

01:08:12.000 It was just a dumpster for kids with cancer, kids with weird skin rashes, kids who were too smart and had autism and couldn't look people in the eye, girls who were too tall. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Like it was just... 0.94

01:08:26.000 Anyone I don't want to look at.

01:08:29.000 Like a Sikh, a girl with a hijab, like just, eh. 1.00

01:08:34.000 Anyone that was slightly imperfect. 0.98

01:08:37.000 I was there for being a loudmouth class clown.

01:08:39.000 My marks were fine. 0.95

01:08:41.000 Same here.

01:08:41.000 So he took us all in, and we appreciated that.

01:08:44.000 We kind of sensed what was going on when we saw like Steve Zarth had 100 in math. 1.00

01:08:50.000 And then we find out he's a fucking diddler. 1.00

01:08:52.000 Oof. 1.00

01:08:54.000 This was the diddler. 0.93

01:08:56.000 That's Mr. Diddle. 0.98

01:08:57.000 It's fucking crazy because so I walked in my graduation twice because I got held back for half of a credit. 0.98

01:09:02.000 So I got into a water fight, got suspended, couldn't take the final. 0.97

01:09:06.000 So for government economics, each being half a credit, making up one whole credit, I got held back for half a credit.

01:09:11.000 And this guy let me walk twice.

01:09:13.000 He's like, you know what?

01:09:14.000 You could walk.

01:09:15.000 Just walk with no pants on.

01:09:17.000 Just walk with no pants on.

01:09:19.000 And that's what I did.

01:09:20.000 And then we made out.

01:09:21.000 No, but I was wondering, and after he got caught, you know, this after I'm graduated, I'm like, did he think I was sexy?

01:09:26.000 Maybe that's why he did that?

01:09:28.000 Were you sexy?

01:09:29.000 Hell yeah.

01:09:29.000 Because you're not now.

01:09:31.000 You lost it, Rye.

01:09:32.000 Cameron won.

01:09:36.000 Spoilers, the show goes on. 0.92

01:09:37.000 He tosses his porn in disgust.

01:09:39.000 The timestamp 1025, he replaces video games and porn with long-distance team canoeing.

01:09:44.000 He aspires to be a manly man, having adventure.

01:09:47.000 Maybe Mike White accidentally showed your influence on men, but it seems like he watched an episode of your show and created an archetype baby monster.

01:09:55.000 By the way, I know you guys hate being called baby monsters.

01:09:58.000 I just want you to know that as this thing grows, inevitably, there's going to be a moment where you're in the news.

01:10:05.000 And it'll say three of the people at the riot were baby monsters.

01:10:10.000 Nice.

01:10:10.000 That's fantastic.

01:10:11.000 That's going to be awesome.

01:10:13.000 Thumbs up your act.

01:10:13.000 That's good.

01:10:14.000 And they're going to make it seem real sinister and scary.

01:10:17.000 And the new iteration of Proud Boys, an even more sinister group called Baby Monsters.

01:10:23.000 I saw this thing that Vice did.

01:10:25.000 Oh, by the way, Vice, classic Vice.

01:10:29.000 They did a thing today.

01:10:30.000 Today, they released an article about, and they've taken it down now, but it's about how a shocking number of these white nationalists we discover are also Marines.

01:10:41.000 Once again, white nationalists in a hate group turns out to be a Marine. 0.97

01:10:46.000 Of all the fucking days to put out that article, you chose a day where 12 servicemen were killed for the Marines, I believe. 0.99

01:11:00.000 Like yesterday, two days from now, maybe we could argue. 1.00

01:11:04.000 But fucking today, you idiots. 1.00

01:11:08.000 Ironic, too, that you were filming a show with an Afghanistan. 1.00

01:11:11.000 And I didn't know because I was busy talking to a fucking Ranger who was in Afghanistan. 0.98

01:11:16.000 I see he left you some swag over there. 0.99

01:11:19.000 Yep.

01:11:19.000 I see that.

01:11:20.000 That's on the wall.

01:11:20.000 Bravo.

01:11:22.000 You know, I was joking with him about Stolen Valor, and I was like, if I want him to get pussy, like, how could I convince girls I'm a Ranger? 0.99

01:11:29.000 What battalion do I say he's in? 0.98

01:11:31.000 And he was laughing, but I could see he was like, does not like that subject.

01:11:36.000 Yeah.

01:11:36.000 I think his left fist balled up.

01:11:38.000 Yeah, he was like, yeah, you could say a lot of stuff, but it wouldn't be the kind of thing you'd want to do.

01:11:47.000 Yeah.

01:11:48.000 Well, if I was a bartender and I want to get extra tips on Memorial Day, how would I pretend I'm a Ranger and I was in Afghanistan?

01:11:59.000 That's like whenever I say to vets, I go, the thing about Pearl Harbor, when they have the reunions, none of them are hot.

01:12:07.000 And every time I do that joke with them, they go, yeah, I'm not.

01:12:10.000 I can't laugh at that.

01:12:12.000 I'm not getting involved.

01:12:13.000 It's weird that they physically can't laugh at that.

01:12:15.000 Taboo.

01:12:16.000 It's not like they laugh when they feel bad.

01:12:18.000 Their body will not allow them to laugh.

01:12:20.000 So wait, what does it say about your principal?

01:12:22.000 What comes up? 1.00

01:12:24.000 Besides your dick. 1.00

01:12:26.000 Hey, you. 1.00

01:12:27.000 It said that he resigned his job in a plea deal.

01:12:31.000 I seen on the bottom of one of the pictures.

01:12:33.000 Oh, really?

01:12:35.000 Principal gives up job and plea.

01:12:37.000 Hand job, that is.

01:12:39.000 Yeah, if you're known for molesting children, I would take any plea you get.

01:12:45.000 Like Jared from Subway, he took 15 years.

01:12:49.000 So what was really on the table must have been pretty bad.

01:12:55.000 It's getting the foot long, yeah.

01:12:57.000 Oh, text messages to then 16-year-old Torres.

01:13:00.000 I wonder who that was.

01:13:01.000 I don't think I ever found out who it was. 0.87

01:13:03.000 Do you feel ugly and do you feel gay that he never hit on you?

01:13:08.000 I think he did. 0.97

01:13:10.000 Oh.

01:13:10.000 I think he let me walk twice, one without an actual diploma, one with, because he thought I was what.

01:13:20.000 He thought you were what, what in the butt. 0.98

01:13:21.000 That's correct. 0.99

01:13:22.000 What, what?

01:13:23.000 But he had a chance.

01:13:25.000 That's embarrassing.

01:13:25.000 It was so embarrassing, too.

01:13:27.000 I mean, embarrassing to be raped? 0.99

01:13:30.000 What are you talking about? 0.99

01:13:30.000 To have a principal that was all, I don't know. 0.99

01:13:33.000 Embarrassing.

01:13:34.000 It feels weird for everybody, I think. 1.00

01:13:35.000 Well, he's a pedophile. 0.99

01:13:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:13:37.000 Yeah.

01:13:38.000 Embarrassing's not on my list.

01:13:40.000 Aren't you?

01:13:42.000 Hi.

01:13:43.000 Oh, gross. 1.00

01:13:44.000 There's that guy whose principal's a pedophile. 1.00

01:13:49.000 Yuck. 0.99

01:13:51.000 You can't come to the party.

01:13:53.000 That's just a bad. 0.99

01:13:54.000 You might bring your principal, and he rapes kids. 1.00

01:13:59.000 Preschool teacher. 0.99

01:14:00.000 Oh, here we go.

01:14:01.000 Co-creation.

01:14:03.000 We'll all be happy to learn she has been fired.

01:14:06.000 I was joking.

01:14:07.000 Sorry.

01:14:07.000 I was looking at that post of hers that someone dug up from 2015.

01:14:12.000 And I noticed the hashtag she uses, legal, kink, sex.

01:14:16.000 Now, given the context of what she's talking about, which itself is creepy, most people figured sex stood for sex education. 0.57

01:14:23.000 Webster's dictionary defines sex as having sex or sexual instincts.

01:14:29.000 And two, having sex appeal. 0.97

01:14:32.000 Sexed. 1.00

01:14:33.000 Either the pedos are using different codes to communicate online and on social media, or she just made a Freudian slip like a motherfucker. 1.00

01:14:40.000 Sexed. 1.00

01:14:41.000 So he's talking about that woman who put up a tweet saying, what kind of legal consent form would I need?

01:14:47.000 Imagine the audacity to ask that publicly.

01:14:50.000 To talk to kids, my kids, my students, about consent.

01:14:56.000 No, sorry, sorry.

01:14:57.000 About kink. 0.78

01:14:59.000 Because if there's one thing seven-year-olds need to know is how to address their various sexual perversions. 0.96

01:15:07.000 They don't even hide it on Planned Parenthood, which I tell my preschooler about sex and sexual.

01:15:11.000 Nothing.

01:15:13.000 Zero.

01:15:13.000 Yeah.

01:15:14.000 Pretty easy question.

01:15:17.000 I think it was like seventh grade, seventh or eighth grade in health class.

01:15:21.000 They started with the sex ed. 0.97

01:15:24.000 Sexed.

01:15:25.000 I remember my daughter must have been like, she was in a baby seat.

01:15:28.000 So she must have been like four or five.

01:15:32.000 Maybe four.

01:15:33.000 And she goes, wait a minute.

01:15:35.000 Yeah, when was my youngest born?

01:15:38.000 So she's maybe, yeah, five.

01:15:40.000 And she goes, wait a minute, where does my brother come from?

01:15:43.000 And I go, from mommy.

01:15:44.000 And she goes, he just comes out of you?

01:15:48.000 Like, is there a pill or something?

01:15:50.000 This had just occurred to her, sort of sitting in the back of the car.

01:15:54.000 And then she goes, what, you take a pill and he just happens?

01:15:58.000 And I go, no, mommy and daddy hug and the daddy's body gives the mommy's body what it needs to make a baby.

01:16:05.000 And then she was just silent as a mouse for a long time. 1.00

01:16:09.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:16:13.000 I don't even want to know what the fuck he's talking about. 1.00

01:16:15.000 Little did she know that her wildest dreams, it's way weirder than that. 0.99

01:16:21.000 Blood randomly, I don't know how.

01:16:26.000 It doesn't do this to any other like finger, ear. 0.99

01:16:29.000 It rushes down to a flaccid penis. 1.00

01:16:32.000 So much blood goes into this penis that it starts blowing up like it's going to pop. 0.99

01:16:40.000 And instead of like a burn or something where it's like a water balloon, this, I guess the capillaries are so constrained that it becomes hard like a rock. 0.98

01:16:51.000 We're not even, it's not even the weird part yet. 0.99

01:16:54.000 So now the blood in one part of his body makes a hard wood penis and then he puts it inside mom's vagina. 1.00

01:17:04.000 Mom, you might think your mom has a penis at that point. 1.00

01:17:09.000 Puts it in a hole. 1.00

01:17:10.000 Mom has no penis. 1.00

01:17:11.000 She has a hole. 1.00

01:17:12.000 Puts it into the hole, sticks it inside of her body like a knife killing someone, but it's a wood blood penis that goes into her hole. 1.00

01:17:22.000 Still not the crazy part. 1.00

01:17:24.000 And I think I know why.

01:17:26.000 Now you just randomly shake in and out.

01:17:28.000 You don't just leave it there.

01:17:29.000 You have to shake it and out for like, well, it used to be a lot longer.

01:17:32.000 Now it's like a minute or two.

01:17:34.000 And then white vanilla ice cream shoots out. 0.99

01:17:39.000 It doesn't go in your vagina, it shoots all over the room like you jumped on a ketchup packet or a mayonnaise packet. 1.00

01:17:47.000 I'm 51. 1.00

01:17:49.000 I still think that's fucking weird. 0.97

01:17:52.000 You know what I think? 0.98

01:17:54.000 What?

01:17:54.000 I come really, really hard.

01:17:58.000 Oh. 1.00

01:18:01.000 Even like fuck the cum pun. 1.00

01:18:03.000 What he's actually saying there is that like he'll come at you if you fuck with him, right? 1.00

01:18:09.000 And even that is no, you know what it was? 1.00

01:18:11.000 What it was, he said, he was saying, I come really, really hard at 45 at Trump.

01:18:17.000 He's like, if you look at my tweets and my social media, I come really hard.

01:18:24.000 You know what he is?

01:18:25.000 He is like Down syndrome, borderline.

01:18:28.000 He's a himbo. 1.00

01:18:29.000 He's the stupidest, one of the stupidest people in the world. 1.00

01:18:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:34.000 Hands down.

01:18:35.000 Like, I bet when he drives, he gets lost 75% of the time.

01:18:41.000 It's not a joke.

01:18:42.000 I bet he leaves his car running.

01:18:45.000 I bet if we did a whole, if like that, the best thing about dying is you get this thing from God called Godoogle, and it's a computer, and you can just type in whatever you want, and then you just put in Juicy Smoulay's car history, biggest blunders.

01:18:59.000 And then they just show you a montage of all the times he's left the car running and gone home to bed until the car like runs out of gas.

01:19:07.000 Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.

01:19:12.000 When is that going to stop getting funny?

01:19:14.000 I'm kidding.

01:19:15.000 I'm waiting patiently.

01:19:16.000 I don't think I told everybody at home, but Shizmobin has caught on to me. 1.00

01:19:20.000 I put, I felt ugly, I felt gay, at a video that had just no relevance to that whatsoever. 1.00

01:19:25.000 And he said, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:19:27.000 Stop posting weird shit on my thing. 1.00

01:19:29.000 And I'm like, oh no, I feel like I'm going to get banned. 0.98

01:19:31.000 But I want to respond in something that is a drop.

01:19:34.000 So I said, I know this isn't what you want, but I'm sorry.

01:19:39.000 And he let it go.

01:19:40.000 I saw that.

01:19:40.000 And then every other comment was like, getting good at it, if you will.

01:19:46.000 Okay, let's start taking some calls.

01:19:48.000 But let's do this.

01:19:50.000 What happened to the website?

01:19:52.000 I was seriously enjoying the dear censored posts.

01:19:54.000 Also, what is clip of the day?

01:19:56.000 Is that supposed to be the final video?

01:19:57.000 You're confusing the baby monsters with these inaccuracies.

01:20:00.000 Love the new studio, blah, blah, blah.

01:20:02.000 So clip of the day, again, my tech guy, I love him to death.

01:20:06.000 God bless his cotton socks.

01:20:07.000 I would like some progress on this.

01:20:09.000 I want to have three columns.

01:20:10.000 I want to have the blog at the end that has deer censored.

01:20:14.000 The middle is clip of the day, and that's free.

01:20:16.000 So it's a fun little two-minuteer from the show, and that'll be free so you can send it to someone and say, this is that show I was telling you about.

01:20:25.000 You might want to check it out.

01:20:26.000 So we take the funniest little three to five minutes of every episode.

01:20:29.000 That should be in the center.

01:20:31.000 And then the left-hand side will be all the new content.

01:20:35.000 Not sure what's taking so long.

01:20:39.000 Okay, last letter before we take calls.

01:20:42.000 Salma Hayek, that is all. 0.69

01:20:47.000 You know what, dude?

01:20:48.000 I'm not sure how Maddie feels.

01:20:50.000 I can tell how Ryan feels from that sound.

01:20:52.000 Salma Hayek, maybe a 10. 1.00

01:20:55.000 That being said, my dick just... 1.00

01:21:00.000 The voice kills it. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Is it the voice?

01:21:03.000 I think so.

01:21:05.000 Like, you'd have to be retarded not to think she's in the top 0.1% most beautiful woman in the country. 1.00

01:21:12.000 Oh, yeah. 0.92

01:21:13.000 Yes.

01:21:14.000 I don't know.

01:21:14.000 It just, I'm not feeling it.

01:21:18.000 The voice, it would kill anything in my head.

01:21:22.000 She's got kind of a bird nose. 0.99

01:21:25.000 I know she has fantastic big tits. 1.00

01:21:30.000 So you hate her voice? 1.00

01:21:31.000 I'm not a fan of her voice.

01:21:33.000 Do Salmahayek interview.

01:21:35.000 See, for me.

01:21:36.000 You don't mean her accent, right?

01:21:38.000 You mean the actual tone.

01:21:41.000 I don't want to say the accent, but it's like everything.

01:21:44.000 Like, here she looks like kind of Hindu, like that look. 1.00

01:21:49.000 And her straight hair look just like a South American mom. 0.98

01:21:52.000 But when she has kind of like curly hair, that's kind of fun. 1.00

01:21:55.000 But that's the closest it gets to dope.

01:22:00.000 She's what, 50?

01:22:01.000 51?

01:22:02.000 Yeah.

01:22:03.000 Okay, pull up her talking. 0.99

01:22:05.000 You want to, let's go on a young interview, right?

01:22:10.000 Because I don't think we're talking about modern-day Hayek.

01:22:13.000 2018.

01:22:15.000 She really is an age, actually.

01:22:21.000 Little by little, I came up with things and I added things and at the end I was the poster.

01:22:29.000 I was still a small robot.

01:22:31.000 I was the poster of the film.

01:22:33.000 And that's what I remembered.

01:22:34.000 She really gave me a shot and that's how I got my sag.

01:22:39.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

01:22:41.000 My dicks gave for her. 1.00

01:22:44.000 Anyway, let's do thanks for calling and then set up some calls. 0.97

01:22:49.000 Thanks for calling.

01:22:53.000 You are on air. 1.00

01:22:56.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

01:22:58.000 You don't need to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00

01:23:02.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:23:04.000 You have one thing.

01:23:05.000 Thank you for calling.

01:23:06.000 It was great hearing from you.

01:23:08.000 All right, next call.

01:23:12.000 Am I gonna hit this little thing?

01:23:14.000 I need a beer.

01:23:15.000 You want one?

01:23:16.000 Yeah.

01:23:22.000 Thanks for calling.

01:23:25.000 We have on the line with us now James talking about Afghanistan.

01:23:33.000 Thanks, BroNato.

01:23:34.000 Yo.

01:23:35.000 Yo.

01:23:38.000 So, all this stuff going on.

01:23:42.000 I called before last veteran's day, the old James, the tank commander guy.

01:23:46.000 But I 20-year retired vet.

01:23:51.000 So, the freaking disaster of a withdrawal, to me, I want to get your opinion. 0.74

01:24:00.000 To me, it's one of two things. 0.93

01:24:04.000 It's either full incompetence at every level of the military and the presidency leadership, or it's on purpose.

01:24:12.000 I think it's got to be incompetence.

01:24:13.000 Like, look at all these translators that they could have brought back.

01:24:18.000 They don't have a list.

01:24:19.000 Biden has, the administration has no idea how many Americans are there.

01:24:23.000 I think we tend to give the government way too much credit.

01:24:27.000 Like, they always go, well, it's not Biden.

01:24:28.000 Someone's behind the scenes.

01:24:30.000 And the more, even those people go, you go, who's behind the scenes?

01:24:34.000 Which I do think there's someone behind the scenes.

01:24:36.000 And they come up with names like Susan Rice. 1.00

01:24:38.000 Susan Rice is a gay retard. 1.00

01:24:41.000 She's the one who, after Benghazi, she said, I'll handle this, Obama. 1.00

01:24:45.000 And she did all the women's morning talk shows, like The View and all that. 0.95

01:24:50.000 That was their solution to covering up Benghazi. 0.76

01:24:54.000 So I think there's people behind the scenes, and I think they're retards. 1.00

01:25:01.000 So I tell you a story on your point there about just how retarded these people are. 1.00

01:25:10.000 So in 2011, I was in Afghanistan, 2011, 2012, and we were in a shitty area. 0.98

01:25:17.000 So the State Department rep shows up to our little freaking 150-man little infantry freaking cop, which is a company outpost, basically a fire base.

01:25:28.000 And they were like, they bring all these sub-governors in. 0.95

01:25:30.000 They freaking brought all... 0.99

01:25:31.000 It was this big freaking dog and pony show for a little shitty area. 0.99

01:25:35.000 So all the local leaders come in, the sub-governor, all the Afghan leaders, and they're all, yeah, we're coming. 1.00

01:25:41.000 This lady, it's a blonde lady. 1.00

01:25:43.000 So they all want to see her, right? 1.00

01:25:45.000 The freaking Afghans. 1.00

01:25:47.000 And we're already like in this deployment, like freaking nine months. 1.00

01:25:50.000 So we're like, fuck these people. 1.00

01:25:54.000 So like, they come in and she starts promising all this bullshit and all this, like, they're going to come this, this. 1.00

01:26:00.000 We're going to come in. 1.00

01:26:01.000 We're going to build the schools and all this shit. 1.00

01:26:04.000 And then, and at the end of the day, they get on the helicopter and they fucking leave. 1.00

01:26:07.000 Who is this woman? 1.00

01:26:08.000 Sorry?

01:26:09.000 Who is this woman? 1.00

01:26:10.000 What's that?

01:26:11.000 This woman who's coming. 0.94

01:26:13.000 But like, what's her, what's her job?

01:26:15.000 Like, what does her business card say?

01:26:19.000 He said the State Department.

01:26:20.000 Oh, it's the State Department.

01:26:22.000 State Department runs the military. 0.98

01:26:25.000 Representatives of the freaking...

01:26:28.000 The people we see on the news, there's a lot of other bureaucrats in there that you never really see. 0.90

01:26:33.000 So there's like a lot of freaking other agencies and all these other people that are in there, like lower level. 0.98

01:26:39.000 Like for instance, when I was in Iraq in 2006-07, the deputy Secretary of State showed up to freaking kiss Sheikh Fatar's ass, which he got murdered when we were there in Armadi. 0.99

01:26:51.000 But because he was the guy that was bringing the sons of Iraq together to fight AQI, because we were paying them off the shit. 0.99

01:26:56.000 We were paying off. 0.97

01:26:57.000 Basically, we were paying off the people we had been fighting to fight AQI, Al-Qaeda, because they were moving in.

01:27:03.000 And then we were like, he got protected Sheikh.

01:27:06.000 But then these people come in, these freaking bureaucrats come in and like, yeah, we're going to do this, do that, and that. 0.99

01:27:11.000 And then it's like they leave, and then we're there to deal with the fucking mess, the military. 0.98

01:27:16.000 And we're like, me, I have, at the time, no college degree, no nothing. 0.99

01:27:21.000 I'm just a freaking shooter. 0.99

01:27:23.000 And we're out there running like freaking Surah meetings and shit. 0.99

01:27:26.000 Like, where the fuck are these State Department people? 0.99

01:27:29.000 They're never there. 0.98

01:27:30.000 We're doing their, we did their job.

01:27:31.000 We did the nation building.

01:27:32.000 The military did all the work.

01:27:34.000 Who is the State Department guy that got killed?

01:27:36.000 What was his name?

01:27:39.000 The Sheikh in 2007? 0.55

01:27:41.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 Sheikh Satar.

01:27:45.000 Look it up.

01:27:45.000 Sheikh Satar Rahmati.

01:27:47.000 Look it up. 0.98

01:27:48.000 I was at his freaking funeral. 0.99

01:27:51.000 Where are you from? 0.99

01:27:52.000 What's with the frickin'? 0.97

01:27:55.000 I don't know. 0.91

01:27:56.000 But. 1.00

01:27:59.000 I know it's sometimes you say fuck, and other times you say frickin'. 1.00

01:28:04.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:28:04.000 I'll just say, because I had kids and stuff. 1.00

01:28:06.000 But like, with regard to that, the military did all the work.

01:28:14.000 Ramadi said town in Iraq.

01:28:18.000 Yeah, well, that was before.

01:28:19.000 Yeah, Ramadi was Iraq.

01:28:20.000 I was a surge.

01:28:21.000 I did three.

01:28:23.000 The real war for me was Iraq because I did three tours there.

01:28:26.000 I only did one in Afghanistan. 1.00

01:28:28.000 But that was all the same shit. 0.99

01:28:31.000 I mean, different areas. 1.00

01:28:34.000 Those are Arabs. 0.99

01:28:35.000 We're dealing with freaking Persians, basically. 1.00

01:28:39.000 White Persians. 0.99

01:28:40.000 Do you think we should have gone into Afghanistan at all?

01:28:46.000 I mean, it's like at this point today, looking at it, no.

01:28:53.000 We didn't get any resources out of it.

01:28:54.000 We didn't take anything. 0.99

01:28:56.000 I'm kind of like the guy that's like, if we're going to go to war, we're going to take the shit like Trump always does. 0.99

01:29:00.000 We're going to take yourself, get something out of it. 0.99

01:29:02.000 That's the way I look at it as well.

01:29:05.000 Like how Trump, we talked.

01:29:06.000 Oh, Trump's always like, well, why'd we go there if we're not going to get anything out of it?

01:29:09.000 Like materials, resources.

01:29:11.000 Both wars, we got nothing.

01:29:13.000 Supposedly, you know how the liberals say, oh, we went to Iraq for the oil.

01:29:16.000 Well, we didn't even get that.

01:29:20.000 All of it was for nothing.

01:29:22.000 So I don't know what you think about that, but...

01:29:25.000 Should we still, should we be fighting foreign wars?

01:29:28.000 Should we be around the world being the world police? 1.00

01:29:31.000 I will not let my children go in the military with these assholes running the country now. 1.00

01:29:36.000 I freaking did that shit. 1.00

01:29:38.000 I went in Clinton. 1.00

01:29:39.000 So I joined when Clinton was president in the 90s.

01:29:42.000 And I went through four presidents in the military, combat arms, four combat tours, through all those different presidents.

01:29:48.000 Well, not Clinton, because at that time we didn't do the invasion yet.

01:29:52.000 For Bush, we did. 0.99

01:29:54.000 Looking back at it, I'm like, well, what the fuck? 0.99

01:29:58.000 So wait a minute. 1.00

01:29:59.000 Was your entire career a waste?

01:30:03.000 Well, I mean, I got pensions and stuff, but like.

01:30:06.000 But as far as what you did for the world, was it all wrong?

01:30:10.000 Was it all for naught?

01:30:13.000 That's why I'm looking at it right now.

01:30:15.000 It was a waste of, as far as the mission goes, it was a waste of time.

01:30:19.000 Wow.

01:30:20.000 So I don't know what else to think.

01:30:22.000 I still, you know, I guess I'm sure I'm not the only person thinking that right now.

01:30:27.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:27.000 Well, it's not even just about the fighting, though.

01:30:31.000 I guess I'll make one more point because I know other people want to call on, but it's not just about the fighting the enemy because we love that part of it. 0.95

01:30:37.000 Like when you're a true, the real combat, if that's listening in, they'll be like, yeah, we love killing those guys.

01:30:43.000 The bad part about it, you deal with the torture in the military ranks for all that time. 0.99

01:30:48.000 So you deal with the freaking getting shit on by your leadership, getting shit on day on today and day out, dealing with all that stuff. 0.99

01:30:57.000 And I put them through all that torture, the toxic work environment, which is there. 0.99

01:31:02.000 Trust me.

01:31:02.000 It's there in the military.

01:31:05.000 That's worse than dealing with the enemy.

01:31:07.000 But I don't think they ever talk about it. 1.00

01:31:09.000 toxic work environment in the army or whatever is worse dealing with these shitty leaders. 0.99

01:31:14.000 You would rather go out there and fight these dudes. 0.99

01:31:17.000 That's the fun part.

01:31:19.000 You would rather fight. 0.99

01:31:20.000 You'd rather be in a fucking gunfight with jihadists than deal with the top brass in the modern American military. 1.00

01:31:27.000 100%. 1.00

01:31:28.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:31:30.000 It's a real fruit or real. 1.00

01:31:33.000 Anybody that's been in real combat, they'll tell you the same shit, probably. 1.00

01:31:36.000 They would rather be out there killing freaking terrorists than dealing with freaking dog and pony show or toxic leadership. 1.00

01:31:44.000 Like you'd rather be with your platoon alone out in the freaking sector than dealing with the frickin' if you had a shitty first sergeant or a shitty commander or any of that crap. 1.00

01:31:53.000 Did you ever fight? 0.99

01:31:55.000 Did you ever fight?

01:31:57.000 Did you ever fight with women?

01:31:59.000 Like have a woman next to you going, da-da-da-da-da-da. 1.00

01:32:03.000 Never.

01:32:04.000 Is that a thing?

01:32:06.000 Do you see women in battle? 0.97

01:32:09.000 What's that?

01:32:10.000 Do you see women in battle? 0.97

01:32:11.000 Is that a thing?

01:32:14.000 Never.

01:32:14.000 I mean, they're there, so they're usually like support units.

01:32:17.000 Now it's different, right?

01:32:18.000 I don't know.

01:32:19.000 Because I got out when all that stuff was happening, the integration, because the combat job. 0.71

01:32:24.000 So I'll take it.

01:32:25.000 I'll give you a story.

01:32:26.000 We had a combat camera chick one time embedded, and she was like Air Force. 1.00

01:32:29.000 She rode around a couple days with us.

01:32:31.000 And then we had a water purification chick one time that just sat on the base there, a little base for the whole deployment, didn't do anything because we drank water bottles.

01:32:42.000 And then we had a dog handler chick that wasn't even her real job. 1.00

01:32:46.000 And she came and they brought the bomb dog out for a couple of days with us. 0.98

01:32:50.000 That's useless.

01:32:52.000 And then trick him thinking like we had, I mean, in those years, you would see the women. 0.76

01:32:59.000 They're usually the fuelers, the medics.

01:33:01.000 They're like, they never really did the real.

01:33:03.000 So some of them would get killed on the convoys.

01:33:06.000 But it's like 96. 0.99

01:33:10.000 Of the freaking guys killed in this war are all men. 0.98

01:33:13.000 I can't remember the stat. 0.98

01:33:14.000 I looked it up at one point.

01:33:16.000 But the women, they do the finance, and they're on the big giant spots with the swimming pools and the freaking, you hear about the... 1.00

01:33:24.000 I watched, God dang it, he was doing his, on your channel, freaking the, well, Jacob Wool, I watched his show, and he's talking about the freaking all the expenditures.

01:33:37.000 I just watched his latest episode, and he's right about everything except for one little area, which he was not correct about, was about how they had the vehicles running 24-7. 0.75

01:33:45.000 That's not true.

01:33:46.000 That's impossible.

01:33:48.000 But this is what the reports are getting.

01:33:51.000 I see, I mean, so it's not on him.

01:33:53.000 But like the everything else he's talking about was spot on.

01:33:56.000 The waste of USAID, wasting money.

01:33:59.000 I've seen that with my own eyes. 0.99

01:34:00.000 The freaking, all the waste. 0.56

01:34:02.000 So everything he was saying is true, the waste of money. 0.99

01:34:06.000 So it makes me feel like I was out there making, living paycheck to paycheck basically for 20 years of shitty pay, getting killed. 1.00

01:34:17.000 Everything woke turns to shit. 0.99

01:34:21.000 Oh, the woke started in 2008, if you get my drift. 1.00

01:34:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:26.000 Everything woke turns to shit. 1.00

01:34:28.000 The woke in the army is not new. 1.00

01:34:30.000 That started in 2008.

01:34:32.000 Yeah.

01:34:32.000 All right.

01:34:32.000 Thanks for calling.

01:34:33.000 I talked to you all night.

01:34:35.000 Appreciate it.

01:34:36.000 Alrighty, yeah.

01:34:37.000 I'll call in again.

01:34:38.000 And tomorrow we have an Afghan ranger who's going to go through it all with us.

01:34:43.000 He was telling me a story that isn't on tomorrow's show, but he had to do, like, they have to do an inventory of all these people.

01:34:51.000 So he's doing this biometric data.

01:34:52.000 And you can do fingerprints or the iris.

01:34:55.000 And they put a bag on their head so they won't be able to recognize the soldiers.

01:35:00.000 And then they take their fingerprints.

01:35:01.000 And then, okay, we have someone.

01:35:03.000 And they can start quantifying the population.

01:35:08.000 This guy was a heroin processor.

01:35:11.000 So he was rolling the opium out on these big sort of blankets, pushing it back and forth, rolling it into these, I don't know, long diarrhea tubes.

01:35:21.000 And he goes, I can't get fingerprints off this guy. 0.99

01:35:25.000 I can't scrape the fucking heroin off his fingers. 0.99

01:35:29.000 It was like an eighth of an inch of heroin. 1.00

01:35:33.000 And I'm like, but wait a minute, unless you're wearing surgical gloves and a hazmat suit, you're getting high off that.

01:35:39.000 And he goes, yeah.

01:35:40.000 So I take his hood off to biometric data the irises, and he goes, I've never seen this before, but two eyes were going like this.

01:35:49.000 What?

01:35:51.000 Wandering around like fruit flies.

01:35:54.000 Not connected.

01:35:55.000 The guy, I mean, if it was the streets of New York, he probably had a $2,000 a day habit. 1.00

01:36:04.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:36:05.000 All right, next call. 1.00

01:36:08.000 Okay.

01:36:09.000 On the line.

01:36:10.000 Nirvana album cover.

01:36:15.000 217, you're on the line.

01:36:19.000 Hey, yeah, Vrie Maddie.

01:36:21.000 How's it going?

01:36:22.000 What's going on?

01:36:22.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:36:23.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:36:25.000 Yeah, I was seeing if you guys saw this story about, you know, the iconic Nirvana Nevermind cover with a baby on it. 0.66

01:36:33.000 Yeah, he's suing for kiddie porn.

01:36:35.000 He's 30 years old now, and he's, yeah, he's suing and saying he was used for porn, used for child porn, or I don't know, something like that.

01:36:45.000 I heard like 2.5 million or something, just seeing what you guys thought of that.

01:36:50.000 Yeah, he's suing everyone involved, and he's got it down to 150K per person.

01:36:55.000 I think that includes the band, and then it's the record label and the photographer, and every, he gets it nice down to a low number.

01:37:02.000 So they go, well, if I go to court for this, it's going to be like 60.

01:37:08.000 Maybe I should just pay the 150.

01:37:10.000 The retarded thing about his case is he's posed underwater like 10 times over the years. 0.99

01:37:19.000 If you look it up, you can see him at 15, at 20, at 25, in a bathing suit, jumping into the water and being like, hi, I'm the Nirvana guy.

01:37:30.000 So if it was so damaging, why have you constantly been doing interviews and photo shoots in a pool? 0.99

01:37:39.000 So it's obviously a fucking scam. 0.98

01:37:42.000 Anyway, thanks for calling. 0.99

01:37:44.000 Thanks for calling.

01:37:47.000 Have you got footage of that?

01:37:52.000 Rye guy? 0.99

01:37:54.000 Yeah, that's him.

01:37:55.000 Hey, I'm really deeply traumatized by being on the cover of the Nirvana album when I was a baby.

01:38:01.000 It's something that I'd like to get away from, please. 0.58

01:38:04.000 It was a horrible experience, and I was used for kiddie porn.

01:38:08.000 Anyway, I'm the guy! 0.98

01:38:10.000 He didn't do it naked then.

01:38:14.000 Boom, these explosions. 1.00

01:38:16.000 That was bullshit. 1.00

01:38:17.000 His cock looked amazing in that photo. 1.00

01:38:19.000 Let's cut this shit. 1.00

01:38:24.000 We got Gastone. 1.00

01:38:30.000 Or as they say in America, Gaston.

01:38:33.000 Gadsden?

01:38:36.000 Hello?

01:38:36.000 Oh, maybe you're not Gadsden.

01:38:38.000 845.

01:38:38.000 Oh, dude.

01:38:40.000 This could be a person from my town.

01:38:45.000 845.

01:38:46.000 Washington Villain?

01:38:47.000 Yo.

01:38:50.000 Hey, you guys hear me?

01:38:51.000 Yes, we can.

01:38:52.000 Yes.

01:38:54.000 Yo, so I'm from the same town as Ryan with Mr. Rossi as a principal.

01:38:59.000 No kidding.

01:39:00.000 I will say, yes, I got friends who are cops up here. 0.98

01:39:06.000 The report that they saw was a little sketchy, but the kid that actually accused him, there was some shit going on too, though, with that kid. 1.00

01:39:19.000 He's almost like a pathological liar about some of that shit. 0.99

01:39:23.000 I'm not defending the guy. 1.00

01:39:25.000 I guess I am in a sense, but he's not...

01:39:28.000 I'm pretty close with the principal's son.

01:39:32.000 Oh, yeah, he's confused. 1.00

01:39:34.000 You know, was fucking ruined about this shit. 0.99

01:39:36.000 But the guy, you know, as a friend, truly isn't that bad. 0.99

01:39:41.000 Like, he's a great guy, like Ryan said.

01:39:44.000 You know what I mean?

01:39:44.000 He really tried to do the best for people, I guess, in that situation, you know?

01:39:49.000 But he was definitely accused of some shit. 0.99

01:39:54.000 It's very sketchy. 1.00

01:39:56.000 I wouldn't go ahead and say the guy is definitely a fucking pedophile, but it definitely is. 0.99

01:40:03.000 It doesn't sound like you have a solid opinion on this. 0.99

01:40:06.000 You're calling him a definite maybe so far.

01:40:12.000 There's things to consider.

01:40:13.000 Definite maybe, but also you don't always believe the girl that accuses the guy of raping him.

01:40:19.000 Well, what were the actual allegations?

01:40:25.000 What's up?

01:40:26.000 What was he accused of?

01:40:29.000 He was accused of...

01:40:30.000 All right, so what I've heard is he might have rubbed the guy on his shoulders and asked him to do push-ups in his office, which sounds horrible, but the guy was on football. 1.00

01:40:43.000 He was like, hey, man, fucking do this shit right now. 1.00

01:40:46.000 Don't be a bitch. 1.00

01:40:47.000 Fucking do some push-ups right now. 1.00

01:40:49.000 But I agree. 1.00

01:40:52.000 It is fucking weird, but I wouldn't write him off as a pedophile. 0.97

01:40:55.000 So that was the only instance that... 0.99

01:40:57.000 I didn't know that that was the only instance.

01:40:58.000 It made it sound like...

01:40:59.000 Yeah, the news said inappropriate comments with the 16-year-old.

01:41:02.000 I'm not sure if do push-ups in my office is...

01:41:05.000 It also said forcible touching.

01:41:07.000 But was it only one?

01:41:09.000 One alleged victim?

01:41:11.000 Is it just the one victim?

01:41:12.000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

01:41:13.000 Hell fucking no. 0.98

01:41:16.000 Like the guy was a really good person. 0.99

01:41:17.000 I got a buddy who, you know, his parents divorced.

01:41:20.000 He was going through a hard time. 0.92

01:41:21.000 The principal, like, you know, Mr. Rossi was a really fucking good guy to him. 0.99

01:41:25.000 But this weirdo that did accuse him, he's got some shit going on as well. 0.99

01:41:30.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:41:32.000 It's not a straightforward, like, I fucking, I raped this kid. 0.98

01:41:35.000 No, but what I'm asking is was there only one victim that came out and accused him of doing this? 0.99

01:41:42.000 Yeah.

01:41:43.000 Yes, that is true.

01:41:44.000 Yes.

01:41:45.000 It was only one victim.

01:41:46.000 See the thing about these allegations is it always makes it sound vague. 0.99

01:41:48.000 And once you're pinned down as that, it's like, well, that guy's just touching all sorts of shit. 0.99

01:41:52.000 But I didn't really know that. 0.98

01:41:53.000 Maybe afterwards you could DM me the kid's name because I would have known the kid.

01:41:58.000 Nopeyup Official is my Instagram.

01:42:01.000 All right, we'll check that out.

01:42:02.000 Thanks for calling.

01:42:04.000 Thanks for calling.

01:42:05.000 I graduated a year after all the shake the list.

01:42:08.000 Later, dude.

01:42:10.000 You know why?

01:42:11.000 Interesting. 0.88

01:42:12.000 You read that as weird homo principal. 0.97

01:42:16.000 Because that used to be the way it was with the news.

01:42:20.000 The news used to be true.

01:42:21.000 Oh, yeah, you're right. 0.98

01:42:22.000 And when you heard that someone was raped or someone was a pedophile, it's because someone was raped and someone was a pedophile. 1.00

01:42:28.000 And you go, holy fuck, let's go kill him. 1.00

01:42:30.000 Or I hope they throw him in jail and blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:42:33.000 Now, you hear, you know, principal molesting people, and you go, well, what's the story here?

01:42:39.000 What happened?

01:42:41.000 That's crazy, though.

01:42:42.000 Yeah, because it's like that.

01:42:43.000 That's one that the stain, no matter what, the accusation is just as good as a conviction.

01:42:51.000 It's a very difficult accusation.

01:42:53.000 A very difficult accusation. 1.00

01:42:54.000 You fuck at Dr. Gage. 1.00

01:42:57.000 Or maybe not. 1.00

01:42:58.000 Are we done with this?

01:42:59.000 Should we do a new call?

01:43:03.000 Steve and the COVID-19 vaccine.

01:43:11.000 You're on the line, sir.

01:43:14.000 Hello?

01:43:15.000 Hello, Steve.

01:43:16.000 How you doing?

01:43:18.000 Hello.

01:43:19.000 Howdy, G-Dog.

01:43:20.000 What's going on?

01:43:21.000 Hey.

01:43:23.000 So, I'm in a little predicament here, and I could use some advice.

01:43:28.000 Let me guess. 1.00

01:43:29.000 You raped a kid. 1.00

01:43:32.000 What? 1.00

01:43:32.000 You raped a kid and you got caught? 1.00

01:43:37.000 Yeah, I just don't know what to do with the body. 1.00

01:43:39.000 All right.

01:43:40.000 Well, first we're going to have to get into chopping her up. 1.00

01:43:43.000 Little pieces.

01:43:47.000 So I'm a grad student, and my school has started this vaccine mandate, and I really don't want it.

01:43:59.000 And, you know, I'm like a fourth year.

01:44:02.000 I'm one year away from graduating with my PhD in chemistry. 0.94

01:44:06.000 So it's not a bullshit degree. 0.95

01:44:08.000 And I don't know. 0.88

01:44:10.000 I really don't want it.

01:44:12.000 But do I just have to go with the flow?

01:44:14.000 Oh, I think you emailed us.

01:44:16.000 You emailed us, didn't you?

01:44:20.000 No, not.

01:44:21.000 I don't know.

01:44:21.000 No, no, I didn't email you about this.

01:44:23.000 Oh, that's funny because this isn't the first time a baby monster has contacted us about this predicament.

01:44:30.000 Because I do say get fired, get in trouble.

01:44:33.000 Is there a way you could get away with a scam like a fake vax card?

01:44:38.000 It's big trouble.

01:44:39.000 Well, I have a friend that lives, so I'm in Nevada.

01:44:43.000 She lives in the next town over.

01:44:45.000 Her school said that if anyone was caught with a fake vax card, they would be charged with a felony, which I thought was ridiculous.

01:44:57.000 But I mean, there is a religious exemption that I could possibly try and go through.

01:45:02.000 But I mean, would that be the morally right thing to do?

01:45:05.000 To join a church just to get out of the vaccine?

01:45:08.000 Yes.

01:45:09.000 Ryan, no one's asking you.

01:45:11.000 You're too young to have morals. 0.99

01:45:12.000 You're mentally 12.

01:45:16.000 Breaking news, the Houston Health Department. 0.73

01:45:19.000 Sorry.

01:45:21.000 Well, I'm not going to advocate for fraud on this show and get myself arrested. 0.90

01:45:25.000 But yeah, you've got a real problem here because you want to die.

01:45:32.000 You want to stand by your own personal values, but you also want to go to this great school that could set you up for life.

01:45:42.000 Most of the people I know are not very passionate anti-vaxxers like PJ over at the bar.

01:45:48.000 He hates the vax.

01:45:49.000 He loves Trump. 0.99

01:45:50.000 And he just got the vax on day one because he's like, oh, just fucking get it. 1.00

01:45:54.000 Stop wasting your fucking time. 1.00

01:45:56.000 You're going to have to get it eventually. 1.00

01:45:58.000 So I know that's what he would say for this.

01:46:00.000 But I guess it's a personal decision. 1.00

01:46:02.000 You have to decide whether you want to just say, fuck it. 1.00

01:46:06.000 I'm going to get the vaccine. 1.00

01:46:08.000 I need to get into this school. 1.00

01:46:09.000 And this is bullshit. 1.00

01:46:09.000 And I'm pissed off. 1.00

01:46:12.000 Fuck it. 1.00

01:46:13.000 This is something I feel strongly enough about to deny myself this school and I'll go to a less good school that won't have these dumb parameters. 1.00

01:46:22.000 And then when I'm older, I'll be able to look back and go, I didn't fucking bend. 0.98

01:46:27.000 When everyone was pussing out, I didn't bend. 0.97

01:46:30.000 And then the third option is a hustle where you go, you pretend you're a religion or something like that.

01:46:35.000 I will say that if one was to do the third option, I don't think you have to worry about the morality of that decision because we're in an immoral situation.

01:46:46.000 Like it's morally wrong to get off the Titanic ahead of women and children because you say you're a priest or something. 0.99

01:46:54.000 You know, you're fucking over those women and children. 0.99

01:46:56.000 But when you're in a weird clown world where everyone is being forced to take a vaccine, they drew first blood. 0.99

01:47:04.000 I don't think morality comes into play with all the various hustles.

01:47:09.000 It is true. 0.98

01:47:09.000 That's ridiculous. 0.98

01:47:10.000 That's a really good point. 0.76

01:47:12.000 Like today, New York State, the new governor, Hotchel, she mandated that all employees of the Department of Education, all schools, mandatory vaccinations.

01:47:26.000 So when you got a fire teacher, yeah, today.

01:47:28.000 So that's New York and the five boroughs?

01:47:31.000 Yeah, the whole state.

01:47:32.000 What, the whole state?

01:47:34.000 The entire state.

01:47:34.000 So my kids.

01:47:35.000 No, no.

01:47:36.000 The staff.

01:47:38.000 Oh, the staff.

01:47:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:41.000 What a cunt. 1.00

01:47:43.000 Yeah, she's been governor for what, a day? 1.00

01:47:46.000 So, yeah, I can't advocate for anything illegal on this show, especially with the feds breathing down my neck.

01:47:52.000 But you got a tough decision to make, my friend.

01:47:58.000 Thanks for calling.

01:47:59.000 Try online school.

01:48:02.000 Yeah, DeVry, University of Phoenix.

01:48:05.000 Yeah, I just found this about the thing, too.

01:48:08.000 He was texting him, said, oh, I want to give you money to do push-ups in my office, and I want to take you out.

01:48:13.000 And it was just kind of strange, my friend Jessica said.

01:48:16.000 I know her.

01:48:17.000 That could be a misconception.

01:48:19.000 I don't know.

01:48:19.000 That could be like, dude, I'll give you money for every route.

01:48:23.000 What if he said it like this?

01:48:24.000 Be like, hey, I want to take you out.

01:48:26.000 I'll take you out to dinner.

01:48:27.000 I'm going to coach you through this.

01:48:28.000 You're like, you could do it, man.

01:48:29.000 You got to do push-ups.

01:48:30.000 I'll give you a dollar for every push-up you do.

01:48:33.000 Really?

01:48:34.000 It's inappropriate.

01:48:35.000 I just met Maddie.

01:48:37.000 I got his number for some other reason.

01:48:39.000 And then I text him.

01:48:40.000 I've met him twice.

01:48:41.000 Hey, Maddie, great meeting you, man.

01:48:43.000 I'd love to see you do push-ups in my office, and I'd love to take you out. 1.00

01:48:46.000 I don't know if they just met.

01:48:48.000 That's not buddies.

01:48:51.000 I want to take you out.

01:48:53.000 First of all, it's inappropriate between two people that just met, two men.

01:48:58.000 But when it's a principal student, because the principal is the highest person in the school, he's like an authority figure over him.

01:49:08.000 Yeah, that is true.

01:49:09.000 And we don't have evidence he said that, by the way. 0.99

01:49:11.000 This is some dumb quote. 0.91

01:49:12.000 I know that we're texting that in an article. 0.99

01:49:13.000 Exactly.

01:49:14.000 I know, but we're not seeing the text message in a legal sense here.

01:49:17.000 This is what someone said the text messages were, right?

01:49:19.000 God, I hope I'm not defending a pedophile.

01:49:21.000 It's worth researching, though, because allegations have been thrown around at people that we know that are completely innocent.

01:49:26.000 But this was a time when that wasn't really so prevalent.

01:49:30.000 And this is a bad one.

01:49:33.000 Anyway.

01:49:33.000 But I will say, say hypothetically that the text was, I want you to do push-ups in my office.

01:49:39.000 I don't want to take you out.

01:49:40.000 I'm sorry.

01:49:40.000 Take you out means I want to go shopping with you.

01:49:44.000 I want you to buy whatever you want.

01:49:45.000 I will get you a supreme sweatshirt and a supreme fanny pack. 1.00

01:49:50.000 But obviously, if I'm buying you shit and we're going to get burgers and stuff, I'm going to want to suck your dick at the hotel. 1.00

01:49:57.000 Yep. 1.00

01:50:00.000 That's just what words mean.

01:50:03.000 Guys don't take other guys out.

01:50:05.000 I want to take you shopping.

01:50:07.000 I'll take you out for a week.

01:50:08.000 I want to buy you things.

01:50:11.000 703.

01:50:12.000 This guy's a good guy, man. 0.99

01:50:13.000 I'd like to fucking take you out, dude. 0.99

01:50:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:50:16.000 What do you mean?

01:50:16.000 Have me killed?

01:50:17.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:50:18.000 Like, take you shopping and shit. 1.00

01:50:19.000 Like a bro. 0.99

01:50:20.000 Like the way guys do. 1.00

01:50:22.000 Fucking, you can buy, get some shit, get some shoes. 1.00

01:50:26.000 You wear high-heel shoes? 1.00

01:50:28.000 Hey, what kind of talking?

01:50:32.000 Hey, how you doing, Carler?

01:50:33.000 I want to take you out.

01:50:35.000 Hey.

01:50:35.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

01:50:37.000 Oh, You're paying.

01:50:38.000 I'm playing, eh?

01:50:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:50:40.000 Get you a nice fucking cool Supreme fanny pack? 0.99

01:50:45.000 Yeah, hey, I love a fanny pack. 0.99

01:50:47.000 I'm a landscaper. 1.00

01:50:48.000 It helps me when I'm away away from my truck and fuck. 1.00

01:50:50.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:50:51.000 Yeah.

01:50:54.000 All right, hey, Real First.

01:50:55.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:50:56.000 This whole Afghanistan shit is on purpose. 1.00

01:50:59.000 It's not the government. 1.00

01:50:59.000 This is a rice value chariot. 1.00

01:51:01.000 Shout out to Brazil and all those fuckbakes. 1.00

01:51:04.000 Hey, follow the money, man. 1.00

01:51:05.000 The banks make money off of all the conquest.

01:51:08.000 Who do we pay our taxes to anyway?

01:51:10.000 The banks.

01:51:10.000 Okay, so anyway, Q, you were talking on Compound last night about Q. Q is a hit job.

01:51:20.000 Like Giuliani had to take down the five families in New York.

01:51:24.000 How long do you think it's going to take down to swamp?

01:51:26.000 Trump, he was the plan.

01:51:28.000 He came in there.

01:51:28.000 That's why nobody likes him.

01:51:30.000 Meanwhile, Gavin, you actually play with your hair more than Ryan does.

01:51:34.000 I've always seen you put your hair, your fingernail in the back of your hair like you've got a wig. 1.00

01:51:40.000 These people that you think are stupid in the government are just useful idiots. 1.00

01:51:44.000 Are they retards? 1.00

01:51:45.000 No. 0.98

01:51:45.000 Their devil convinced the world that he didn't exist. 0.98

01:51:48.000 So all these idiots, they're convincing the world that they're idiots if they convince you. 1.00

01:51:53.000 So yeah, they're all fucking, you're the idiot if you think they're idiots because they're fucking up all of our lives and yours. 1.00

01:52:00.000 And the Proud Boys have been completely disparaged. 1.00

01:52:04.000 And that's the exact same thing that they're doing with Q. Q is a simple thing where you just go through.

01:52:11.000 Q has never said anything about like fighting, everything.

01:52:14.000 Q says God wins.

01:52:16.000 Just always pray.

01:52:17.000 Now.

01:52:19.000 How do you get to hear from Q?

01:52:21.000 How can I get on Q's radar?

01:52:25.000 Well, okay.

01:52:26.000 You can go to, well, okay.

01:52:30.000 And we know, SCT Report, X22 Report, and they actually do journalistic.

01:52:39.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:52:40.000 Literally just and we.

01:52:42.000 Oh, you want to go to Q proper. 0.99

01:52:44.000 I want to see, like, I'm an outsider.

01:52:46.000 I want to hear what Q has to say about something.

01:52:49.000 Like Afghanistan. 0.99

01:52:50.000 What did he say today?

01:52:52.000 Sure, sure, sure.

01:52:53.000 Okay, okay.

01:52:53.000 Well, Q ended up at 8kun because of 4chan, 8chan, then they ended up at 8kun, right?

01:53:00.000 8ku n whatever.

01:53:02.000 8k.

01:53:03.000 U-n dot com. 1.00

01:53:06.000 It dot these nuts somewhere down in the deep web.

01:53:10.000 But the idea is.

01:53:11.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:53:13.000 Take me to Q. Okay.

01:53:15.000 8-Coon?

01:53:16.000 I'm not getting anything.

01:53:18.000 Yeah.

01:53:18.000 How do you get your Q, research?

01:53:20.000 How do you get your Q?

01:53:23.000 K-U-N. 1.00

01:53:25.000 So tell me personally, pretend I called you and said, I want to check out Q. What do you now tell me? 0.98

01:53:31.000 Sure.

01:53:33.000 Okay, look up the Great Awakening at Anne We Know and or the Praying Medic or, like I said, X22 report, SGT report.

01:53:45.000 The Great Awakening.

01:53:46.000 GreatAwakening.win.

01:53:48.000 Is that it?

01:53:50.000 The Great Awakening.

01:53:52.000 When I typed that in, I got greatawakening.win.

01:53:54.000 There is a cue here on the page.

01:53:59.000 Wins of the day. 0.99

01:54:00.000 What the fuck is new bags? 0.99

01:54:04.000 All right, thanks for calling. 1.00

01:54:05.000 I'm controlled by that one.

01:54:07.000 Thanks for calling.

01:54:07.000 Yeah, okay, but no, but he had that good crystal mess.

01:54:11.000 See, you know what sucks about that?

01:54:13.000 They're banned from all other things, so it sounds crazy because it's just the sparse remnants of whatever it used to be.

01:54:20.000 And it sounds crazy. 0.97

01:54:21.000 You got to go to fucking birdfart at dots. 0.97

01:54:24.000 Yeah, but if you're a Q fan, you know the very, very, very latest thing. 0.98

01:54:29.000 I think I get the point is that.

01:54:31.000 He's talking about the dark web.

01:54:32.000 8coon is the site you get it from, right?

01:54:35.000 So you go to Q Research, so 8coon.top, which sounds so retarded that it immediately is like, all right, I don't want to go to that site. 1.00

01:54:44.000 I just resent that so much of the left's criticism of the right involves Q. And I don't know anyone who, and I'm not pro-Q or anti-Q. 0.98

01:54:54.000 I don't know anything about Q. So much of what they accuse us of involves Q, and like no one knows how to get there.

01:55:03.000 Okay, 8koon.top.

01:55:07.000 Yeah.

01:55:08.000 Right?

01:55:09.000 Okay.

01:55:09.000 A bunch of sh really, it looks like day one of the internet here.

01:55:14.000 Literally.

01:55:15.000 Yeah.

01:55:15.000 Like when the government first made it, whenever that was, 1962.

01:55:20.000 I'm not where you are, by the way.

01:55:22.000 I'm at 8koon.top index.

01:55:26.000 Okay, I'm at 8koon.top slash QResearch.

01:55:29.000 So let me go to index.

01:55:30.000 And now I'm like, Capitol Hill Republican step up, calls for Biden resignation, and then you click on that.

01:55:39.000 But that's just a link to a news story that's like available to everyone.

01:55:45.000 So I think what he's saying when he goes to the Great Awakening and stuff, these are channels that get cue from whatever retarded places they're going to be. 1.00

01:55:52.000 See, I'm already bored.

01:55:53.000 You know what it's like?

01:55:54.000 It's like that app where they said, you just go to a bar.

01:55:57.000 Oh, yeah, beer pals or beer pal?

01:55:58.000 And beer pals.

01:55:59.000 So Maddie and I are trying to set it up for each other, and about two-thirds of the way into like clicking beer, clicking the bar, clicking when you're there, and then the map.

01:56:10.000 And we're just like, no, thanks.

01:56:11.000 This is now way harder than me texting you.

01:56:12.000 Just send me a text.

01:56:14.000 Like, this is way harder than me looking up the news.

01:56:19.000 Yeah.

01:56:20.000 I'm actually like physically annoyed right now.

01:56:26.000 I guess that's what you call a bad mood.

01:56:28.000 That guy put me in a bad mood.

01:56:31.000 Johnson.

01:56:33.000 Do you think he was on meth?

01:56:35.000 Yeah, hey, Johnson, how you doing?

01:56:36.000 He was on Adderall or Meth.

01:56:38.000 Hey, I am only 17, but I was curious about what modern-day men should feel when they get married about their wife changing their name.

01:56:49.000 Because I feel like with the kids, the kids are going to have to have the man's last name.

01:56:55.000 That's probably a hill to die on.

01:56:57.000 It's a hill to die on, my friend.

01:57:01.000 It's a big deal.

01:57:02.000 Has the same last name as kids. 1.00

01:57:05.000 It's a big fucking deal. 0.99

01:57:07.000 And the fact that she keeps her name is such a retarded little, I don't know, show of force where, you know, she's Hammond, you're Smith, and you're like, okay, I guess she's Hammond Smith and I'm Smith. 0.99

01:57:20.000 Like, shouldn't you both be Hammond Smith?

01:57:22.000 And then the kids, okay, so the kids are Hammond Smith. 0.99

01:57:26.000 All right, I made my little, my little fucking line in the sand. 0.98

01:57:30.000 Now the kids are Hammond Smith. 1.00

01:57:32.000 Now some other dumb cunt down the street has done the same thing, McAllister Lemieux. 0.99

01:57:37.000 Now they get married. 1.00

01:57:39.000 Now someone is named Arnold Hammond Smith McCallan Lemieux. 1.00

01:57:44.000 So in just one generation, we have a shit show. 1.00

01:57:51.000 It's just so fucking illogical and it's so myopic and it's so selfish and it's such a short-term little flex. 1.00

01:57:58.000 You know? 1.00

01:57:58.000 So you just explained to her that if we lived in a world that stupid, that in one generation, kids would have four last names. 1.00

01:58:05.000 So no, we're not doing that. 0.99

01:58:06.000 You're taking my last name, even if my last name is Kweef.

01:58:14.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:58:15.000 Plus, it kind of, if she doesn't want to do it, it's kind of like she's half-heartedly committed to the relationship.

01:58:20.000 Yeah.

01:58:21.000 It's kind of like a prenup.

01:58:22.000 Well, I don't want to know.

01:58:23.000 If it doesn't work out, I'll have to change my name again.

01:58:26.000 I don't believe in prenups.

01:58:28.000 You're not committing to the marriage.

01:58:32.000 This is the deal.

01:58:33.000 We're going all in.

01:58:35.000 We're going over the hill in World War I. The vows say it all.

01:58:39.000 We've got to do it.

01:58:41.000 And I'm taking your last name because I'm continuing the lineage of this particular family.

01:58:47.000 Like, I don't understand what she thinks is going to happen.

01:58:49.000 So it's Hammond Smith.

01:58:51.000 The kids are named Hammond Smith.

01:58:53.000 Are you somehow now doing this male thing where you're continuing the lineage of the Hammonds?

01:58:58.000 You're not.

01:58:59.000 Because she's going to take...

01:59:01.000 What if she takes her husband's last name?

01:59:03.000 Your daughter, I mean. 0.99

01:59:05.000 Now you just erase that dumb gesture you made for one generation. 1.00

01:59:09.000 Fucking so stupid. 1.00

01:59:10.000 I heard in Egypt, that's what they do. 1.00

01:59:13.000 So when you fill out an application, your name has 37 last names.

01:59:17.000 It's like that in Mexico, too.

01:59:19.000 Really?

01:59:19.000 Yeah.

01:59:20.000 Yeah, that rings a bell.

01:59:21.000 Yeah, we talked about it a couple weeks ago.

01:59:23.000 They have like 13 last names. 1.00

01:59:25.000 They take like the father, the mother's maiden name, the fucking grandmother's maiden name. 1.00

01:59:31.000 It's a sign of a shit society, really. 1.00

01:59:34.000 I think that was your reaction. 1.00

01:59:35.000 You said they're not different from us.

01:59:37.000 They just are worse.

01:59:38.000 Well, yeah, we've had this conversation before.

01:59:41.000 But this Omar Rodriguez-Lopez.

01:59:43.000 Ryan Catsu Rivera.

01:59:44.000 Wait, that guy's name is Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Wikipedia?

01:59:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:48.000 That's an idiotic. 1.00

01:59:50.000 That's a terrible name. 1.00

01:59:50.000 Oh, that's the guy from that band where they jump around like monkeys. 1.00

01:59:54.000 Mars Volta.

01:59:54.000 Mars Volta, yeah.

01:59:55.000 Yeah, I guess he married the founder of this internet site.

01:59:59.000 Huh.

02:00:00.000 You see, now what are their kids going to be named?

02:00:02.000 Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Wikipedia.

02:00:05.000 Lopez-Lopez?

02:00:07.000 I have a doctor.

02:00:08.000 Why did you take my joke and just add Lopez's to it? 0.71

02:00:12.000 I don't know.

02:00:15.000 Okay, last call.

02:00:16.000 Last call for alcohol.

02:00:18.000 You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

02:00:20.000 You could have an aneurysm on a toilet.

02:00:23.000 You never know.

02:00:24.000 Okay, we have Carrie on the line. 1.00

02:00:26.000 Carrie.

02:00:28.000 Hello, Carrie.

02:00:30.000 Maybe it's not Carrie.

02:00:31.000 904?

02:00:35.000 Hey, 904.

02:00:36.000 Am I on?

02:00:37.000 You're on.

02:00:39.000 Okay, beautiful.

02:00:40.000 All right, so a few months ago, Gavin, I don't know if you remember this, you told a, I think a caller called in talking about night terrors.

02:00:51.000 And you told the story about how when you drink too much, you wake up.

02:00:55.000 And you remember something about like something about your grandmother.

02:00:58.000 I don't know.

02:00:59.000 But I remember it not being, thinking that maybe it was a little bit melodramatic.

02:01:06.000 So I heard your story about night terrors and I'll raise you a story about night terrors.

02:01:10.000 Hold on, hold on.

02:01:10.000 Night airs?

02:01:11.000 Night terrors.

02:01:12.000 Oh, night terror.

02:01:15.000 Like when you drink too much.

02:01:17.000 Yeah, every night.

02:01:17.000 Stars.

02:01:18.000 Stars.

02:01:21.000 Exactly.

02:01:23.000 So when I was 12, I was like driving around in the car with my dad doing some errands.

02:01:30.000 And I don't know why I knew this, but he mentioned that he was having some chest pain.

02:01:38.000 And I knew that that was a symptom for heart attacks.

02:01:42.000 And I thought, man, maybe I should say something.

02:01:48.000 But then I decided not to because I didn't want to insult him or be rude or anything.

02:01:55.000 And then a few months later, he had a massive heart attack, died, and widowed my mother and left me and my six siblings without a father.

02:02:05.000 So.

02:02:05.000 How old were you?

02:02:06.000 When I drink, I was 12. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:02:11.000 So when you wake up at four in the morning, you're like, did I kill my dad? 1.00

02:02:15.000 Exactly.

02:02:18.000 Yeah, that's a rough one, dude.

02:02:20.000 But there's no way a grown man doesn't have a heart pain and it doesn't occur to him that he may have a heart problem.

02:02:27.000 Right.

02:02:28.000 Yeah.

02:02:28.000 So I think you can flush that one down the toilet.

02:02:31.000 And I think you'll notice with night terrors too, you'll go, holy shit, like I betrayed my grandmother. 1.00

02:02:36.000 I let my dad die. 0.99

02:02:37.000 I almost killed my son when I didn't have the safety on the rifle. 1.00

02:02:41.000 And then you wake up and you like brush your teeth and have a coffee and you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:02:46.000 No, I did have the safety on. 0.99

02:02:49.000 And grown men know that a heart pain could be heart trouble.

02:02:54.000 Yeah, of course, of course. 0.99

02:02:56.000 But that's fucking funny. 0.99

02:02:58.000 I mean, your mind plays real tricks on you, you know? 0.99

02:03:01.000 Yeah.

02:03:02.000 All right, buddy.

02:03:03.000 Thanks for calling.

02:03:04.000 Don't beat yourself up.

02:03:05.000 You didn't kill your dad.

02:03:08.000 And with that, we are going to end the show.

02:03:11.000 Tomorrow's a special episode.

02:03:13.000 I sit exactly where Maddie's sitting, and we talk to a Afghan war vet, meaning a vet from the Afghan war, not an Afghani.

02:03:23.000 Dude, look up the history of Afghanistan, the various wars there.

02:03:30.000 I feel like I could be locked in a prison for two years with books on Afghanistan, and I would not be able to summarize the wars that have gone on there in the past, well, from the beginning of Afghanistan till now.

02:03:46.000 Like three years ago, it is the most war-torn and historically complex place in the world.

02:03:55.000 Well, back in the 80s, they were, what, in war with Russia for 10 years?

02:03:58.000 That's nothing.

02:04:00.000 Alexander the Great, nothing.

02:04:02.000 That was one little blip.

02:04:05.000 Like, they've had it.

02:04:07.000 Look it up.

02:04:08.000 Just look up like history of Afghanistan.

02:04:10.000 No, no, no.

02:04:11.000 Videos.

02:04:11.000 War.

02:04:13.000 That'll do too.

02:04:14.000 Like, these groups you haven't heard of, the Cincerians and the Lazarians and the...

02:04:18.000 Cincerians? 0.99

02:04:20.000 There's Sikhs and fucking Hindus. 1.00

02:04:23.000 They were Buddhists for a while. 1.00

02:04:26.000 The Muslims. 0.90

02:04:27.000 The only people who were, the Mongols ruled it. 0.99

02:04:30.000 I mean, the only people that were successful were the ones that just swept through and killed every single person.

02:04:35.000 But they wouldn't be successful for long.

02:04:39.000 And then we come along, and I don't know.

02:04:42.000 I think our biggest fear was that Russia would have a stronghold if we let them establish themselves there. 0.99

02:04:47.000 But Russia failed.

02:04:49.000 So let's let everyone fail.

02:04:52.000 Yeah.

02:04:53.000 Is that it?

02:04:54.000 Yeah, I think that's what I watched.

02:04:56.000 Afghanistan, a nation of 37 million people.

02:04:59.000 This guy says Iran when he says Iran.

02:05:01.000 And Pakistan. 0.53

02:05:05.000 But like, scroll through that. 0.98

02:05:07.000 You wouldn't fucking believe the history of this place. 1.00

02:05:11.000 Look at this shit. 1.00

02:05:12.000 Alexander was nothing. 1.00

02:05:14.000 Then, of course, there's a Seleucid Empire.

02:05:16.000 Then there's a per- Like look at this. 0.63

02:05:18.000 Yeah.

02:05:19.000 Is it kind of like an oasis in an otherwise?

02:05:23.000 There's nothing there.

02:05:24.000 It's mountains.

02:05:25.000 It's an important thoroughfare.

02:05:28.000 Okay, gotcha.

02:05:29.000 Yeah, you don't want to live there.

02:05:31.000 An oasis.

02:05:32.000 The Hindu Kush and all that.

02:05:34.000 Look at that.

02:05:35.000 We're up 1823. 1.00

02:05:37.000 It's still a fucking war zone. 0.99

02:05:41.000 That's a great video, by the way. 0.99

02:05:43.000 And he only makes it up to like 2014 or something, or maybe 2004. 0.98

02:05:48.000 I mean, Afghanistan in the past 36 hours is a whole fucking video. 0.99

02:05:55.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 1.00

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 31, 2021

GOML LIVE #112 - AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript