Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #112 | AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING (Part 1)

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:47.000 That was Show Me the Way by Peter Frampton.

00:00:52.000 I believe it's the one of the probably the biggest selling live album of all time.

00:00:58.000 Major hit.

00:00:59.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:01.000 This is the free monthly podcast that we put out there.

00:01:05.000 And I'd like to have a toast to my guests, my comrade in arms, Matty O. Hello, everybody.

00:01:12.000 Your shot glass says drunk as a boot. 0.97

00:01:16.000 Sue come and butt. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Am I says chief any which means I am finished. 0.96

00:01:21.000 Cheers!

00:01:32.000 I just got back from LaGuardia.

00:01:33.000 I was dropping my daughter off to send her to her in-laws alone. 0.68

00:01:36.000 She's 14.

00:01:37.000 I tried something I've never done before.

00:01:39.000 I highly recommend this.

00:01:41.000 And maybe this is part of being old.

00:01:43.000 Get to the airport way too early.

00:01:46.000 The flight was boarding at 7.50.

00:01:49.000 We were there at the airport at 5.50.

00:01:51.000 I had time to go park, get lost parking, park in the wrong spot.

00:01:58.000 Total calm.

00:02:00.000 I'm going there.

00:02:01.000 I'm getting in without a boarding pass because I'm not going on the plane.

00:02:04.000 So it's a weird thing that's confusing.

00:02:06.000 I don't mind.

00:02:07.000 Be confused.

00:02:08.000 We have plenty of time for you to figure it out.

00:02:09.000 You got through to the gate?

00:02:10.000 Through TSA and all?

00:02:11.000 Yeah, you can go right to the gate.

00:02:12.000 If you're the Guardian.

00:02:12.000 Really?

00:02:14.000 We had some delicious pizza.

00:02:14.000 Wow.

00:02:16.000 We talked.

00:02:17.000 I bought her some gossip mags.

00:02:20.000 Scott Peterson may have killed someone else.

00:02:22.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:02:23.000 Yeah.

00:02:24.000 Not just lazy.

00:02:27.000 Before we start or even tell you about the airport, which I already did, this episode is brought to you by Drome, the conservative dating app.

00:02:35.000 That's D-R-O-M. 1.00

00:02:36.000 O's got an umlaut.

00:02:38.000 That's a Drome.

00:02:40.000 Most dating apps are terrible.

00:02:41.000 They're superficial face swiping apps.

00:02:44.000 And then there are the quote-unquote expert matching apps.

00:02:46.000 Both usually waste your time.

00:02:48.000 The solution is value-based matching.

00:02:51.000 If you're right-wing, things probably aren't going to work out with someone who's a total lefty.

00:02:56.000 Same with religion, lifestyle, how to raise children, other core conservative values.

00:03:00.000 Sure, the right person might change to meet you where you are in life, but why not just find the perfect match from the start?

00:03:06.000 Drome is the best free new values-based dating app.

00:03:10.000 You pick deal breakers and deal makers.

00:03:12.000 There are no experts and match percentages and you don't have to addictively check the app.

00:03:16.000 As soon as someone matches your deal breakers and deal makers,

00:03:20.000 And you match theirs, you get a notification.

00:03:22.000 If you don't find a deal breaker or deal maker that's important to you, you can add your own anonymously.

00:03:27.000 DROM is also video only for more human interactions.

00:03:31.000 So go to drom.date.

00:03:35.000 D-R-O-M. 1.00

00:03:36.000 Don't you worry your pretty little head about the umlaut.

00:03:38.000 D-R-O-M.date slash Gavin.

00:03:41.000 Nope.

00:04:00.000 Which is why at the Deplorables Ball, the Deplora Ball, I was so determined to make sure they got there safe, despite them getting accosted by Antifa, and a mob of people throwing batteries, feces, and urine at them, because I knew this was their one big night out, and their one chance to meet a guy. 0.89

00:04:18.000 One of the great things though about DC conservative women having no hopes is they all dress fucking amazing with high-heeled shoes every day and look fantastic. 1.00

00:04:30.000 I kind of like their suffering. 0.96

00:04:31.000 If you're already matched up, tell your friends and get your boyfriend or girlfriend to tell their friends.

00:04:35.000 That's D-R-O-M dot D-A-T-E slash Gavin.

00:04:39.000 Drome.

00:04:40.000 Design and meet your perfect match.

00:04:42.000 It's free to use.

00:04:45.000 That will be our first reading.

00:04:47.000 What are your deal breakers, Matty?

00:04:49.000 Me? 0.99

00:04:50.000 A cock? 1.00

00:04:51.000 First thing, bad teeth. 1.00

00:04:53.000 That's a no-no for you.

00:04:53.000 Bad teeth?

00:04:54.000 That's a no-no.

00:04:56.000 The first thing I look at, I'm leaving out his teeth.

00:04:59.000 I never knew that about you.

00:05:01.000 Gotta have a good set of choppers.

00:05:04.000 But, um, you know, I like, I would say a little bit thicker of a girl than, like, a twig. 0.99

00:05:13.000 We're on the same page on that, although I can work with twigs.

00:05:15.000 Yeah, twigs hurt.

00:05:18.000 I get bruised pelvis, but you know.

00:05:19.000 We can do it.

00:05:20.000 Yeah.

00:05:21.000 I think my only one is thinning hair to the point of you can see her scalp. 1.00

00:05:29.000 Big tits, small tits, no ass, fat ass. 1.00

00:05:32.000 I am not a tit man. 1.00

00:05:33.000 I'm an ass, thigh guy, like from the knees to the midriff. 1.00

00:05:40.000 But I've dated girls with huge tits that had no ass, and I was like, we can work with this. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Is that a deal breaker for you, no ass? 1.00

00:05:46.000 A lot of Asians will have no ass. 1.00

00:05:49.000 Um... One of your first loves was an Asian. 1.00

00:05:51.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:05:52.000 She couldn't have had much of an ass. 1.00

00:05:54.000 She did, and believe it or not, she had a 36D. 1.00

00:06:00.000 Tits, yeah. 1.00

00:06:01.000 I mean, when you get that many tits... The three girls that I've had long-term relationships with, my ex-wife, she was 36DD, the girl Melody was 32DD, and Leah was a Japanese girl, she was 36D. 1.00

00:06:20.000 For someone who's not into tits, you've had a lot of tits. 1.00

00:06:22.000 Yeah, but they're all natural, you know. 0.99

00:06:25.000 They lay down flat next to, you know, they're in their armpits.

00:06:25.000 Of course.

00:06:29.000 Yep.

00:06:30.000 You know. 1.00

00:06:30.000 But, uh, yeah, I'm an ass guy all day long. 1.00

00:06:34.000 There's a cheesy pickup line that says, man, you peel those pants down, it's like an onion, it'll make me cry. 0.98

00:06:43.000 As you know, folks, on Thursday we only read from the letters page because we have to do all the ad reading.

00:06:50.000 After the first half hour, we go behind the paywall.

00:06:53.000 Then we've got to take calls.

00:06:55.000 Covering the news is too much.

00:06:57.000 Although, speaking of balding, the hot new meme going around today, which might be old news tomorrow, is that thing I sent you, Matty.

00:07:06.000 I don't think I sent it to Ryan because I don't like him.

00:07:10.000 The girl with the, that woman who's so fat. 1.00

00:07:14.000 The 40-year-old healthy woman? 1.00

00:07:15.000 That she's going bald.

00:07:16.000 And it says, healthy woman dying from COVID or died from COVID.

00:07:22.000 And you're like... That woman was 40 years old. 1.00

00:07:25.000 She looks 400 years old.

00:07:27.000 And she's about 600 pounds. 1.00

00:07:30.000 See if you can find this article so we don't send it to you.

00:07:33.000 Healthy 40 year old covid mom, covid victims last words.

00:07:38.000 I blame the unvaccinated for this. 1.00

00:07:41.000 Now obviously when we're talking about deal breakers, being 400 pounds is a deal breaker.

00:07:46.000 But this hair is a great example of it could be on Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez.

00:07:51.000 Anybody.

00:07:52.000 I cannot work with you.

00:07:53.000 No.

00:07:54.000 Just get on a plane.

00:07:55.000 Go to Singapore.

00:07:56.000 They have plugs.

00:07:59.000 They can cure it.

00:08:00.000 She probably couldn't get out of her house. 0.75

00:08:03.000 Right, I'm not talking about her, I guess.

00:08:05.000 I'm talking about women in general when they have this. 1.00

00:08:08.000 Like, Ann Coulter talks about this all the time.

00:08:11.000 There's so much a woman can do to get above a six. 1.00

00:08:15.000 Like, you could have a fucking parrot beak for a nose. 1.00

00:08:19.000 That's, I mean, I guess you could get a nose job, whatever. 1.00

00:08:21.000 But basically, just don't be fat.

00:08:24.000 Grow your hair long.

00:08:26.000 Eat well so your skin is not disgusting.

00:08:28.000 Wear high heels three times a week.

00:08:30.000 My ex-wife had a pretty... her father used to joke when I said, oh, you got a Roman nose because it's roaming all over your face. 1.00

00:08:37.000 But, um, yeah, big nose is not a deal breaker for me.

00:08:41.000 No, no one cares.

00:08:44.000 Especially in warmer climates where a woman's wearing a bikini a lot. 0.99

00:08:47.000 You don't even see the face.

00:08:48.000 In Canada, where it's so cold, you're basically just seeing this for half the year.

00:08:52.000 You get a little more picky about what this is.

00:08:55.000 But in Costa Rica, butterface means hot chick.

00:08:59.000 Did you find it yet?

00:09:01.000 No, was she from Yellowstone?

00:09:04.000 I don't know.

00:09:04.000 That's because I found one, but it says 40 years old, dies of COVID.

00:09:09.000 But did you just type out the exact headline I just read to you?

00:09:12.000 Yeah, I blame the unvaccinated and like the nothing came up after that. 0.94

00:09:16.000 I wonder if this is a fake thing.

00:09:21.000 Because someone asked me for the original article and I was like, go look it up yourself.

00:09:25.000 Maybe they couldn't find it.

00:09:26.000 I just emailed it to you.

00:09:29.000 But it is.

00:09:32.000 I mean it's a deal breaker for a guy.

00:09:33.000 I don't think I would be friends with a guy who was going bald like this.

00:09:39.000 I wouldn't let a mechanic work on my car if his hair looked like this.

00:09:44.000 But the audacity of a healthy 40 year old.

00:09:49.000 And how many times have you seen that throughout this pandemic?

00:09:53.000 Healthy.

00:09:54.000 No previous conditions.

00:09:56.000 Perfectly healthy 400 pounder.

00:09:59.000 Well, obesity was like one of the major underlying conditions.

00:10:04.000 We've been screaming this since day one.

00:10:07.000 The moral of the story is, don't be fat.

00:10:10.000 That's what the pandemic taught us.

00:10:12.000 How many, how much weight did you lose?

00:10:13.000 I just lost 30 pounds.

00:10:16.000 30 pounds.

00:10:16.000 Yeah.

00:10:18.000 The last time I lost... 236 to 206. 0.82

00:10:21.000 The last time I lost 30 pounds was the last time I had sex with my wife. 0.98

00:10:24.000 Cause there was that much cum. 0.90

00:10:25.000 Cause it had been that long.

00:10:28.000 You were backed up.

00:10:29.000 I was pretty backed up.

00:10:31.000 Juicy Smollett.

00:10:34.000 Yeah, but it's, I mean, not to say that it's hard, but, you know.

00:10:38.000 I come really, really hard.

00:10:39.000 It's definitely a chore.

00:10:42.000 What?

00:10:43.000 It's a chore losing weight.

00:10:45.000 But you cheated, dude.

00:10:46.000 You had that medication.

00:10:47.000 Oh yeah, I was put on Ozempic and Jardians and stuff for underlying health conditions, yeah.

00:10:52.000 That helped.

00:10:54.000 Well, it was so strong that you would drink a beer and have to lie down.

00:10:59.000 Yeah, I would get full.

00:11:01.000 If I drank like an 8-ounce glass of water, I would be full.

00:11:04.000 But you're not on it now?

00:11:05.000 No, I take a shot once a week.

00:11:09.000 I've kind of plateaued right now at like 206, but... What do you weigh, Ryan?

00:11:17.000 164 is the last time I checked.

00:11:20.000 You've been getting very serious about working out recently, I've noticed.

00:11:22.000 Yeah, I've been taking mass gainers and... What are mass gainers?

00:11:27.000 If you can't eat a whopping load of... Why are you making it a cum reference?

00:11:34.000 If you can't eat a whopping load. 0.99

00:11:35.000 Yeah, that sounded pretty gay. 0.98

00:11:36.000 I don't care. 0.99

00:11:37.000 If you can't eat a whopping load.

00:11:38.000 I know everyone wants to eat a whopping load, but unfortunately you can't always do that.

00:11:44.000 I have meal, they're like meal replacement shakes.

00:11:46.000 They're like 650 calories in one thing.

00:11:49.000 I have to, if you want to build muscle you have to eat a caloric, you have to have a caloric surplus.

00:11:54.000 And it's hard to eat that much food.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:58.000 Wow.

00:11:58.000 I mean, that's the magic of weight loss.

00:12:01.000 Consume less, burn more.

00:12:03.000 Burn more calories than you take in, folks.

00:12:05.000 It's very easy, ladies.

00:12:07.000 Calories in, calories out, they say.

00:12:09.000 All right, this is getting boring.

00:12:11.000 Bubba and Hanks is our other sponsor this episode, although we'll do Need of Fashions closer than the 930 mark, but the subscription-based Bubba Box

00:12:22.000 is uh now a thing thanks to you guys premium wagyu by an american hero bubba's always been there for censored and we're always going to be there for him please go to bubbanhanks.com use promo code gavin for 20 off all orders that is bubba b-u-b-b-a and hanks

00:12:39.000 H-A-N-K-S dot com promo code Gavin.

00:12:43.000 God bless Bubba, God bless America, God bless all the cancer survivors and everyone we've all lost to cancer. 0.99

00:12:48.000 Cancer is a bitch, but Bubba is giving his cancer the middle finger. 0.96

00:12:53.000 Bubba has a new sauce and spice coming soon, so please email the mailbag with ideas for the title. 0.99

00:12:59.000 You understand that?

00:13:00.000 He's got a new sauce, a new spice coming soon.

00:13:04.000 The ad man hasn't given as much details.

00:13:07.000 About that.

00:13:08.000 So it's gonna be a challenge to come up with a name for it.

00:13:11.000 But please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.

00:13:13.000 Winner is getting a Bubba Box and some other goodies from the sponsors.

00:13:17.000 www.bubbaandhanks.com.

00:13:20.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:13:21.000 And the last Bubba Box went to Matty.

00:13:26.000 That's what I'm talking about!

00:13:28.000 And you were a huge fan.

00:13:28.000 Delicious.

00:13:29.000 Oh yeah.

00:13:30.000 Delicious.

00:13:35.000 You know when I was talking to that, you know that weird chef who comes into the bar?

00:13:39.000 Yeah, Joe.

00:13:41.000 So I was like, look, I like my steak like this. 0.99

00:13:43.000 I like it pink in the middle and then burnt to shit like a burnt marshmallow on the outside. 0.98

00:13:50.000 And he goes, here's what you do. 1.00

00:13:51.000 You need a... Fuck. 1.00

00:13:55.000 You need a thing. 1.00

00:13:57.000 A sous vide machine?

00:13:58.000 It's very, very hot water, but not boiling?

00:14:01.000 Yeah.

00:14:01.000 That's a sous vide.

00:14:02.000 It's called sous vide.

00:14:03.000 Sous vide?

00:14:04.000 Yeah.

00:14:05.000 Uh, okay.

00:14:07.000 So I guess I don't have to look it up then, right?

00:14:09.000 No.

00:14:10.000 Su-V. 0.92

00:14:10.000 So, it keeps the water right below boiling, and you put it in there for like an hour and a half, right? 0.92

00:14:18.000 Yeah, it's in like a vac sealed bag.

00:14:20.000 Yeah.

00:14:21.000 Sorry, I don't know why I'm doubting you by checking this.

00:14:26.000 S-O-U-S-V-I-D-E. 1.00

00:14:28.000 Sous Vide.

00:14:30.000 That just doesn't ring a bell.

00:14:32.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.

00:14:33.000 It was popular for a long... I mean, it's kind of recent that a lot of chefs have been using it.

00:14:36.000 Yeah.

00:14:38.000 Like, at his place, he has something this big.

00:14:42.000 And he'll do 10 medium rare, 10 rare, 10 well done.

00:14:46.000 Oh, I have access to one.

00:14:48.000 Oh, you must have it at your restaurant place.

00:14:50.000 Yeah, we have one there.

00:14:51.000 So he says you can get a personal one for like 150 bucks.

00:14:54.000 Yeah.

00:14:55.000 Or less.

00:14:55.000 It's almost like a fish tank.

00:14:57.000 Like it's got a pump and it goes in and there's like just a clear container with water.

00:15:02.000 Throw it in there and it just continually adds hot water and it comes out.

00:15:06.000 So you cook that up, and then you can do, I guess you shock it in cold water, like ice water or something to stop it cooking itself.

00:15:14.000 And then throw it on a grill to char it. 0.79

00:15:15.000 And then you can put it in the fridge or anything.

00:15:18.000 And it's ready to rock.

00:15:20.000 So then you put it on a, he implied sometimes that he would just put it on the grill just for the aesthetics, but it was already cooked and ready to go.

00:15:29.000 Did you see the picture I sent to you the other morning?

00:15:32.000 Of the steak?

00:15:33.000 I cooked?

00:15:34.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:37.000 Well now we have to pull that up.

00:15:38.000 Bubba and Hanks.

00:15:39.000 Email it to Ryan.

00:15:41.000 Email me baby!

00:15:42.000 That was a Bubba and Hanks?

00:15:43.000 Oh yeah.

00:15:45.000 He's obviously Ryan at Censored.TV.

00:15:47.000 So he also told me this story.

00:15:49.000 It's a super wealthy Jewish country club, right?

00:15:53.000 And like all elitist whites, they feel terrible about their privilege.

00:15:59.000 So they want to give back.

00:16:01.000 So what they do is they set up a program at the country club where people of color, not poor people.

00:16:11.000 Not some poor Irish Catholic who comes from a family of 13 and has no dad.

00:16:16.000 No, he's white.

00:16:19.000 People of color can go there and they work in the kitchen.

00:16:23.000 He doesn't want them in the kitchen.

00:16:24.000 What are they doing here?

00:16:26.000 Well, you're helping to appease your boss's guilt, your client's guilt. 0.99

00:16:31.000 But I don't feel guilty about this shit. 1.00

00:16:34.000 And here's the fucking catch-22. 0.99

00:16:37.000 You ready for this? 0.99

00:16:39.000 They're not poor.

00:16:42.000 One of them, she's from Guyana, her parents are doctors.

00:16:46.000 And the other, it's a black guy, he's like in finance.

00:16:51.000 What's that?

00:16:52.000 Say that again?

00:16:54.000 They don't go to the South Bronx to get these people of color.

00:16:56.000 They go within their community. 0.95

00:16:58.000 So they end up with rich, black immigrants, saddled in the kitchen to appease guilt. 1.00

00:17:04.000 Which is like, I want to appease my guilt, so I'm going to give you blacks to my mechanic and they can work with him. 0.99

00:17:11.000 Like, they never even see these black people. 0.98

00:17:13.000 And then, 0.80

00:17:15.000 At the end of their, I think it's two months, at the end of their two month little trial, they all have a big party and parade the Negroes around on the stage and everyone claps at the wonderful job they did.

00:17:27.000 When rich black people worked in a kitchen with other rich white people to appease other rich white people. 1.00

00:17:34.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:17:36.000 I hate you. 1.00

00:17:42.000 What a fucking... 1.00

00:17:45.000 Clown world. 1.00

00:17:46.000 Clown world. 0.68

00:17:47.000 Okay, so should we jump into the mailbag? 0.87

00:17:49.000 Sure.

00:17:51.000 Let's let the freebies, the freeloaders, see what the mailbag is like. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.98

00:18:00.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

00:18:03.000 Let me touch it.

00:18:08.000 I really don't like that picture of me.

00:18:10.000 That's not... I thought that was your dad.

00:18:13.000 I don't like that picture of my great-grandfather today.

00:18:16.000 That's what he looks like right now.

00:18:17.000 Dig him up.

00:18:20.000 Dear Gavin and Lord Provost of the Fag Zone, this video sums up perfectly why the West is the best. 1.00

00:18:26.000 In the Jewelry District of Bangladesh, these entrepreneurs dig through the literal shit from the sewage pipes of different shops in the hope of gathering some of the gold dust that other jewelers have shit out. 0.99

00:18:39.000 Literally the turd world. 0.99

00:18:41.000 Goldust. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Boy, you gotta have a hell of an immune system to dig through shit all day. 1.00

00:18:51.000 And have a hepatitis vaccine. 1.00

00:18:53.000 You could fucking blow AIDS in those kids' faces with a shotgun. 1.00

00:18:58.000 And they would be fine. 1.00

00:19:02.000 If we read their names on a piece of paper, we would get explosive diarrhea.

00:19:08.000 Unbelievable. 1.00

00:19:13.000 How would you discern the gold dust from just shit? 1.00

00:19:21.000 Like if they're down there with like a pan... They dig through the little shit from sewage pipes gathering some of the gold dust the other jewelers have shit out? 1.00

00:19:28.000 How much dust do they shit out? 1.00

00:19:30.000 I mean did they inhale it or they're eating it and it's going... 0.99

00:19:34.000 It must be like a molecule every two years.

00:19:37.000 There's guys in New York who chip away at the sidewalk.

00:19:41.000 In the jewelry district there in Midtown.

00:19:45.000 They chip away at the granite.

00:19:45.000 Right?

00:19:49.000 To get the various chunks that people have dropped.

00:19:51.000 And we're talking about like a grain of sand. 0.99

00:19:53.000 Jump ahead to the shitting. 0.99

00:19:57.000 I don't care about their route. 0.99

00:20:00.000 Their commute to Shittown.

00:20:04.000 See, this is what they thought when they jumped on that plane in Kabul.

00:20:07.000 By the way, we have a very special episode tomorrow.

00:20:09.000 It will not be a GOML. 1.00

00:20:11.000 It'll be a Censored.TV Presents wherein we sit down with the Army Ranger who did three tours in Afghanistan and he'll tell us why he was for the war and why he no longer is. 0.98

00:20:28.000 They don't show this shit explicitly. 0.97

00:20:32.000 Thanks Baby Monster for sending us a video of people sifting through shit for gold and just showing us their commute. 0.99

00:20:45.000 That was part of the documentary. 0.99

00:20:48.000 He digs through the poo-poo. 0.99

00:20:49.000 He's talking about lunchtime. 0.97

00:20:51.000 I've seen that video so many times, I'm starting to get on the gay side. 0.98

00:20:54.000 I'm like, actually, Pastor, they don't literally eat the poo-poo. 0.99

00:20:59.000 What they do is lick the anus of their lover, which heterosexuals also do in pornography and in real life. 1.00

00:21:09.000 And I would argue that when you see porn people do it, they've blasted their ass with enemas because they're in a porn. 1.00

00:21:17.000 They don't want to eat the poopoo. 1.00

00:21:19.000 This sounds very gay. 1.00

00:21:22.000 Either he saw shit porn, which is incredibly rare, or he just saw someone licking an ass. 1.00

00:21:30.000 Or maybe he saw two girls, one cup. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Oof.

00:21:33.000 I still get nauseous from watching that.

00:21:35.000 Dude, it's chocolate.

00:21:37.000 Is it? 0.99

00:21:38.000 They enema their asses clean as a whistle. 1.00

00:21:40.000 And then they put up like Nutella in there. 1.00

00:21:42.000 What about the puke?

00:21:44.000 When they're throwing up in each other's mouths.

00:21:47.000 But it's like Criss Angel puke where that was just in your like top stomach.

00:21:51.000 Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.

00:21:53.000 Are you polygastric?

00:21:54.000 I don't like the butt shake.

00:21:57.000 Gav, Maddie, and the help.

00:21:58.000 Hey guys, I'm a student at Chico State, which I assume is the university where you learned to be MS-13.

00:22:04.000 MS-13 is going through an existential crisis right now.

00:22:07.000 They want to, they have to make their mind up on how they want to be perceived globally.

00:22:12.000 The entire California State University system has mandated the vaccine.

00:22:16.000 They allow for medical and religious exemptions.

00:22:19.000 What's weird is the Title IX department at our school handles the vaccine exemption request. 0.95

00:22:25.000 What the fuck does Title IX have to do with vaccines? 0.76

00:22:28.000 And if you recall, Title IX is the rule that says women's sports has to be as prominent as male sports, right? 0.97

00:22:35.000 Anyways, all the request forms were leaked and I imagine it was some purple-haired feminist at the Title IX department. 0.98

00:22:42.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:22:43.000 P.S.

00:22:44.000 Can you fix the banner that pops up when you try to view live shows?

00:22:48.000 It still shows Milo.

00:22:50.000 Yes.

00:22:53.000 About a hundred people have told me this and I send it to our tech guy and he always goes yep That's coming out with the new update takes a long time to fix these things He's a great guy a very qualified guy.

00:23:06.000 I'm getting concerned that he's not a workaholic

00:23:11.000 Well, I remember last time you said that you wanted it on the site, because it's like, well yeah, the shows are still there. 0.99

00:23:16.000 No shit for brains.

00:23:18.000 I still want his show on the site, but it says tune in Thursdays. 0.99

00:23:24.000 Oh, that must be changed.

00:23:26.000 Maybe I get to make a new banner.

00:23:27.000 I'll make a new banner and send it to him.

00:23:31.000 Greetings from Fag Zone South! 1.00

00:23:33.000 This video is brilliant.

00:23:34.000 Video drops are ragging all over the place.

00:23:35.000 It's just over two minutes long.

00:23:36.000 Wouldn't want to waste the baby monster's precious time.

00:23:40.000 Uh, now he says baby monsters are apostrophe S, so I think that just means Maddie, not the baby monsters who watch the show.

00:23:48.000 It's Michael Jackson.

00:24:02.000 This is like if a video was made by a dog.

00:24:10.000 What's his belt?

00:24:13.000 So this is a re-dub?

00:24:22.000 Yeah.

00:24:26.000 This is the original video.

00:24:38.000 What's with his belt?

00:24:41.000 Is it a karate belt? 0.92

00:25:15.000 I don't remember the original, but it must be equally retarded. 1.00

00:25:18.000 Is this a song about gang rape? 0.77

00:25:45.000 It's not that fire hydrant.

00:25:52.000 Let's look at the real original.

00:25:55.000 Because it can't be much cooler than that, can it?

00:25:58.000 The way you make me feel, I believe.

00:26:02.000 Yeah, bad is they're all going to a gang thing to fight each other.

00:26:06.000 There's no chick there.

00:26:09.000 There was a lot of gang rape in his symbolism, like the thriller video. 0.98

00:26:14.000 That was a bunch of monsters coming to get her. 0.91

00:26:17.000 That's even worse.

00:26:18.000 This is funnier.

00:26:19.000 Yeah.

00:26:20.000 Why'd you do a parody of it?

00:26:44.000 You can tell he's never had a normal heterosexual encounter.

00:27:04.000 You askin'?

00:27:10.000 He's afraid!

00:27:19.000 Why did we tolerate Michael Jackson?

00:27:22.000 He's fantastic.

00:27:23.000 You know what? 0.99

00:27:23.000 I knew he was shitty. 0.99

00:27:25.000 I remember I was in Scotland, in Pollock Shaw's, in whatever it was, 1983, whenever It's Hard came out, and I went with my cousin Colin. 0.98

00:27:34.000 It's hard?

00:27:36.000 It's hard, you just said.

00:27:38.000 It's hard?

00:27:40.000 Okay, Beavis.

00:27:42.000 And he got off the wall.

00:27:45.000 I got the who.

00:27:46.000 It's hard.

00:27:47.000 Which, by the way, was so bad because Pete Townsend had just done his solo album. 0.99

00:27:53.000 So he was out there going, I want to fucking taste you! 0.98

00:27:56.000 And then he just did like some side thing where he's like, I got a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in the rib cage. 1.00

00:28:01.000 You could tell he was just making up shit quickly to so they could have an album. 0.97

00:28:05.000 Off the Wall wasn't that bad. 0.98

00:28:07.000 I mean, for the time period, it was kind of coming out of Disco.

00:28:10.000 What year was that?

00:28:10.000 So I'm tough?

00:28:11.000 Are you saying I'm tougher than you?

00:28:14.000 No, but it was the era of Disco.

00:28:15.000 Studio 54.

00:28:16.000 Did you like Off the Wall?

00:28:18.000 Well, I was a younger kid then, yeah.

00:28:20.000 I mean... Okay, so you're saying I'm tougher than you.

00:28:23.000 Yeah.

00:28:24.000 I'm a fan.

00:28:24.000 Wow, this is a... This is... At my gym, I was telling Matty the other day, they know him, and they go, uh... They go, are you gonna box after this?

00:28:33.000 I go, no, I just did... I did a workout.

00:28:35.000 And they go, oh, okay. 1.00

00:28:37.000 So you think you're all tough with your Matty O'Dell, but you're a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:28:40.000 He goes, very hurtful words today at the gym. 1.00

00:28:44.000 Yeah.

00:28:45.000 Very mean.

00:28:47.000 What year was... Oh, it's hard.

00:28:50.000 If you can hold back your juvenile giggling.

00:28:54.000 It's hard.

00:28:54.000 1982.

00:28:54.000 82.

00:28:55.000 So at 12, I was like, eh, that just seems gay.

00:29:05.000 So I don't feel any kind of guilt when I see Michael Jackson, because I called it from day one.

00:29:10.000 But the rest of America was like, yeah, that's normal. 0.99

00:29:13.000 He has a fucking rope belt, and he's screaming and going, weehoo! 0.98

00:29:17.000 Well, if you look at the picture of him on Off the Wall album cover, he's got an afro about this big, his nose about this wide, and he's as dark as brown leather. 0.99

00:29:27.000 Pull up Off the Wall.

00:29:29.000 Because that's a good comeback. 0.73

00:29:32.000 That he was still black back then.

00:29:34.000 He's got a tuxedo on, right?

00:29:35.000 He's lying on his side.

00:29:38.000 No, that would be Thriller lying on the side.

00:29:40.000 Right there.

00:29:41.000 What year was that?

00:29:42.000 That's off the wall. 82.

00:29:47.000 Yeah, so we bought those two albums at the same time.

00:29:50.000 Wait, released in 79?

00:29:50.000 Oh, I know what it was.

00:29:51.000 If you opened it, 79.

00:29:52.000 Okay, yeah.

00:29:53.000 Okay, so then what's Thriller?

00:29:55.000 Maybe it was Thriller he had.

00:29:56.000 Thriller's the one he's wearing like a white jacket and he's laying down, he's got jerry curl juice in his hair.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

00:30:01.000 It was Thriller.

00:30:01.000 Yeah, that's Thriller.

00:30:03.000 What happened to jerry curls?

00:30:04.000 Like I said, like... I still do my pubes jerry curls.

00:30:06.000 Off the wall was kind of like more disco-y.

00:30:09.000 Yeah, yeah, sorry.

00:30:10.000 It was Thriller I was talking about.

00:30:12.000 I knew at the age of 12 that this guy's lame.

00:30:18.000 Which brings us to our final sponsor, Nita Fashions, wherein you can have anything you want.

00:30:27.000 This shirt is Nita Fashions.

00:30:29.000 This jacket's a v-suit.

00:30:31.000 I got it back in the wigger days. 1.00

00:30:35.000 But Nita Fashions, you call them up, you contact them.

00:30:38.000 The most popular way to contact them appears to be, at least with our baby monsters, is through Instagram.

00:30:45.000 The DMs on Instagram.

00:30:47.000 And Instagram's a good way to contact them too for you because you can see the kind of stuff they make.

00:30:52.000 But you give all your measurements online.

00:30:55.000 They carefully guide you through it.

00:30:58.000 And once you get all your measurements, they can send you textiles for shirts or you can just describe the shirts you want.

00:31:03.000 You get a perfect suit you want.

00:31:05.000 You have a tailor-made suit.

00:31:07.000 This was Charlie Watts' trademark.

00:31:09.000 When you have tailor-made suits, they don't feel like suits.

00:31:12.000 It's not a bummer to put them on.

00:31:14.000 They're PJs.

00:31:15.000 They fit you the same way jeans and t-shirts fit you. 1.00

00:31:17.000 It's fucking heaven. 0.96

00:31:19.000 If you have any kind of a professional job, lawyer, sales, or even if you're going to a funeral or a wedding, you need to have a suit that fits you perfectly. 0.99

00:31:27.000 Anita Fashions does that. 1.00

00:31:28.000 And they also understand your style.

00:31:31.000 Like, I like sort of peewee Herman, very slim fit, kind of floods at the bottom.

00:31:36.000 They'll make me that.

00:31:36.000 If you're more conservative and you want to have a more standard sort of a suit where you don't look like peewee, they'll make you that.

00:31:44.000 Look at that fit.

00:31:46.000 It's perfect.

00:31:48.000 So you DM them or you contact them through this site.

00:31:50.000 What's the URL, Ryan?

00:31:53.000 You would go to NitaFashions.com.

00:31:55.000 Again, that's N-I-T-A-Fashions.com. 0.98

00:31:57.000 N-I-T-A. 1.00

00:31:58.000 And what they do is they ship it to you.

00:32:00.000 They FedEx it to you from Hong Kong.

00:32:02.000 And they can do alterations. 0.87

00:32:04.000 I became a fat pig after the first time I met them.

00:32:07.000 I've been going to them for many years. 0.95

00:32:09.000 I think at least 10 years.

00:32:11.000 So I've gone up a waist size.

00:32:13.000 I sent them back all my pants and said, I'm fat now.

00:32:15.000 And they added two from 34 to 36.

00:32:17.000 Because they knew that was coming.

00:32:20.000 They could tell by the way I drank beer that I was going to get fat.

00:32:23.000 And they made them big again.

00:32:25.000 Everything fits me magically. 0.98

00:32:27.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.97

00:32:29.000 And you... I don't care if you're a... if you work in the sewers. 0.99

00:32:33.000 I don't care if you're Norton from The Honeymooners.

00:32:35.000 You should have at least one suit that fits you perfectly.

00:32:39.000 One high-quality dress shirt. 0.99

00:32:41.000 And then the ties and shit you can get. 0.99

00:32:43.000 I go to tiebar.com. 0.99

00:32:44.000 $20 ties.

00:32:48.000 It's nice to have a nice Brooks Brothers tie, but it's really like 4% better than a $20 tie.

00:32:53.000 And they're $80.

00:32:55.000 So cheap rich guys go to Nita Fashions and they get outfitted from head to toe.

00:33:02.000 And then once you start, it's sort of like a tattoo.

00:33:04.000 Once you get one, you want another one.

00:33:06.000 And then you start getting creative.

00:33:07.000 Hey, that's my exact suit. 1.00

00:33:09.000 That motherfucker stole my suit. 1.00

00:33:11.000 I recognize that jacket, suit. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:33:15.000 Well, I stole it from Animal House, so I'll forgive him. 0.99

00:33:19.000 But NitaFashions.com, and these guys are old school tailors, like Savile Row levels.

00:33:25.000 You don't really get this anymore.

00:33:27.000 And if you do in New York, you're looking at five to seven grand for this quality of tailoring. 0.99

00:33:31.000 Look at that Kingsman-esque shit right there. 0.99

00:33:36.000 That is nice. 0.99

00:33:37.000 It would have to be a hell of an occasion, though.

00:33:38.000 Yeah, I know.

00:33:39.000 Yeah.

00:33:39.000 I would just look for occasions like this.

00:33:41.000 You can't, like, go to a steak dinner and that.

00:33:43.000 It's like a smoking jacket.

00:33:45.000 It is.

00:33:45.000 Yeah, I think it is.

00:33:46.000 You can't just dig through shit looking for gold in India if you're gonna wear a suit like that. 0.93

00:33:51.000 By the way, they sent me the time code and apparently I was a little off. 0.96

00:33:56.000 Oh, it's been updated.

00:33:57.000 The show is getting updated live?

00:33:59.000 That's correct.

00:33:59.000 All right, let's watch Young Indian Children, which is unfortunate because we're just talking about NIDA fashions and how classy they are.

00:34:05.000 It's Indians who run it in Hong Kong, not Chinese, because China is an asshole. 1.00

00:34:11.000 But we're going to say goodbye to this ad so we don't sell either brand. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Close the gate. 1.00

00:34:18.000 And then we're going to see Indians dig through shit looking for particles of gold. 1.00

00:34:25.000 That's a ceiling fan. 1.00

00:34:26.000 But you don't eat gold when you work with gold. 1.00

00:34:29.000 That's like trying to get fabric from tailor's shit. 0.99

00:34:41.000 But I guess because it's a, if it's so fine, it would be, it would inhale it or swallow it. 1.00

00:34:46.000 Maybe.

00:34:47.000 Okay.

00:34:47.000 I don't get it.

00:34:48.000 So now we're talking about like dust, like flour.

00:34:52.000 You know, it would be go through their sewer or, uh, shower pipes.

00:34:56.000 If they took a shower, if they had gold dust, I don't know.

00:34:59.000 I'm just saying like, that makes more sense.

00:35:01.000 If you work making gold and you're like, and then you have a shower, but eating it,

00:35:17.000 Okay, this is their timecode?

00:35:18.000 Yeah.

00:35:18.000 2323.

00:35:18.000 Dude, what is the value?

00:35:19.000 Can't you just get a job at McDonald's?

00:35:20.000 Bah! 0.97

00:35:45.000 Does that smell bad, you think?

00:35:46.000 Yeah.

00:35:47.000 No, it smells good.

00:35:49.000 Years ago, I used to work in the sewers.

00:35:50.000 Really?

00:35:51.000 Oh yeah?

00:35:51.000 Local 731.

00:35:54.000 The shit in India, actually, it's two negatives make a positive, and it ends up tasting like cotton candy. 1.00

00:35:59.000 Oh, interesting. 1.00

00:36:00.000 Wait, why is Matty blurry?

00:36:01.000 Are you using a different camera for him?

00:36:03.000 Yeah, look at him.

00:36:04.000 He's crisp.

00:36:05.000 He looks pretty blurry to me.

00:36:07.000 Why'd you use a different camera for him?

00:36:09.000 Because our Sparks stopped negotiating with our TriCaster, and I'm working on it, but we had to transition from that shoot, so not enough time to do that.

00:36:19.000 Wait, we were done the shoot at 5.

00:36:21.000 The show's at 9.

00:36:23.000 Yeah, but, you know, I have to contact TriCaster and all that, or NewTek rather, and... Did you go home and have dinner?

00:36:33.000 I did.

00:36:33.000 That's not... And I edited, like, half the show that we did.

00:36:38.000 But that's not how someone who's dealing with an emergency behaves.

00:36:42.000 Well, hold on a second, and then it was working, and then it wasn't working.

00:36:48.000 I'm not familiar with this concept of computers being on and off.

00:36:54.000 I know they're like old-timey Model T Fords, a 1982 Chevy Nova, maybe, but computers?

00:37:04.000 They're pretty much yes or no.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, true.

00:37:08.000 I mean, we put different cameras into this park, so maybe that had something to do with it.

00:37:12.000 But nothing had changed except for us setting up for that shoot.

00:37:15.000 So I'm confused, too.

00:37:16.000 But I'll get to the bottom of it, just like they're getting to the bottom of this to find gold.

00:37:21.000 Yeah, I don't care anymore. 0.99

00:37:23.000 I think we should wrap it up as far as the free shit goes. 0.99

00:37:27.000 We've read for our three sponsors, and I like to punish the freeloaders with ads. 0.98

00:37:33.000 But now it's going to be all gravy for the people who pay ten bucks a month.

00:37:37.000 And once again, if you subscribe to censored.tv, you literally get more content than you could watch.

00:37:46.000 If you do watch 100% of our content, you need to get a life.

00:37:51.000 Because that's like 4 or 5 hours a day.

00:37:53.000 You shouldn't have 4 or 5 hours a day to throw away at incredibly entertaining, slightly right-of-center television.

00:38:00.000 And I don't even like saying slightly right-of-center.

00:38:03.000 We're anti-government.

00:38:04.000 We're just normal.

00:38:06.000 All we do is say, America's not racist. 0.96

00:38:08.000 Sex is transphobic. 1.00

00:38:10.000 That's bullshit. 1.00

00:38:11.000 This news is ridiculous. 1.00

00:38:12.000 That woman didn't have no preexisting conditions. 1.00

00:38:15.000 She was a fat pig. 1.00

00:38:16.000 That's why she died of COVID. 1.00

00:38:18.000 Basically, our news is just the way your brother talks at his local bar. 0.97

00:38:24.000 Normal shit, which has become very radical and highly cancelable and very dangerous and contentious in the year 2021. 0.98

00:38:31.000 In clown world, to be normal is to be a radical. 0.99

00:38:36.000 And to be a radical lefty is normal. 0.99

00:38:39.000 So if you live in a slightly liberal town or a very liberal town like Manhattan, LA, you start to think that you're nuts.

00:38:49.000 And then you tune into this show every day at eight o'clock and you realize, oh, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:38:56.000 Everyone else is fucking nuts. 0.99

00:38:59.000 And then you get inspired and you go, I'm sick of hiding. 1.00

00:39:03.000 I'm sick of pretending that I don't love Trump.

00:39:06.000 I'm sick of pretending that I love Joe Biden and I think that he did a great job in Afghanistan. 0.99

00:39:13.000 I'm sick of pretending that I know who the fuck Kamala Harris is or what any of her policies are. 1.00

00:39:18.000 No one knows this bitch. 1.00

00:39:19.000 She's a stranger and there's nothing fucking black about her. 1.00

00:39:24.000 See, that's how normal people talk. 0.99

00:39:26.000 So then you get in trouble because you say too much.

00:39:29.000 And that's the way it should be.

00:39:31.000 We should get in trouble.

00:39:32.000 We should get fired.

00:39:34.000 We should be brave.

00:39:35.000 And we should never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 31, 2021

GOML LIVE #112 | AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING (Part 1)

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript