Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #116 - REIDTARD WORLD

00:01:38.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:02:38.000 How do you say Germany in German?

00:02:40.000 Deutschland.

00:02:41.000 Deutschland, of course.

00:02:42.000 Deutschland.

00:02:43.000 German band there, kind of a weirdly ironic band sent in from a bit by a baby monster.

00:02:48.000 It's they're called like ready to die or something.

00:02:54.000 HG Ichtet T. I don't know.

00:02:58.000 When you sound that out, it sounds like I'm ready to die.

00:03:02.000 And that guy is a German politician who is still active today, but he was famous for sentencing the Nazis.

00:03:11.000 Getting the Nazi bad guys. 0.54

00:03:14.000 Germany could probably move on from that around now. 0.53

00:03:17.000 Yes, you were bad.

00:03:19.000 All's forgiven.

00:03:20.000 Let's move on.

00:03:23.000 Welcome back to the show.

00:03:24.000 This is the Thursday live show starring my co-host, Ryan Katsu Rivera.

00:03:32.000 Do you still feel ill from our trip?

00:03:35.000 I never really felt ill.

00:03:37.000 I just had a cough, but I feel great.

00:03:40.000 I felt great the whole time.

00:03:41.000 Okay.

00:03:42.000 I fought many men today.

00:03:45.000 And they didn't hold back, and I don't like that.

00:03:48.000 It was like bar fights.

00:03:50.000 Did you win?

00:03:51.000 No.

00:03:51.000 It was sparring, but they were punching me really hard in the head.

00:03:55.000 When was your fight with the Jewish guy?

00:03:57.000 October 14th.

00:03:59.000 Okay.

00:03:59.000 Don't call him the Jewish guy.

00:04:01.000 That's how you...

00:04:02.000 I only know it from you.

00:04:04.000 That's how you told me about it.

00:04:07.000 He's a Sagittarius.

00:04:09.000 Okay.

00:04:09.000 That's Sagittarius.

00:04:11.000 Good thing his Venus will be rising then.

00:04:14.000 On the 14th?

00:04:15.000 Yeah.

00:04:15.000 The 14th?

00:04:16.000 Are you sure?

00:04:17.000 Because Pluto is in...

00:04:19.000 Cruses over waxes over the Neptune.

00:04:22.000 How could Pluto be where it is that close to the sun and also have Venus rising?

00:04:28.000 Because I think he's a Taurus moon.

00:04:29.000 You mentioned he's a Taurus moon.

00:04:31.000 Taurus moon. 1.00

00:04:34.000 We had a barmaid like that for a while, Liz, and I would say dumb shit like that, and she'd go, you let on that you don't know anything about astrology, but you know some shit. 1.00

00:04:45.000 You would just make shit up. 1.00

00:04:46.000 Oh, make up. 1.00

00:04:47.000 I don't know anything about that dumb made up fucking. 1.00

00:04:49.000 It makes Scientology look like physics. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Fucking. 0.99

00:04:54.000 So yeah, welcome to the show. 1.00

00:04:55.000 Ryan, did you show your ugly face? 0.99

00:04:57.000 Yes, I did. 0.99

00:04:58.000 Yeah, and I straightened my...

00:04:59.000 My wife helped me straighten my hair in the back.

00:05:03.000 Why'd you do that?

00:05:04.000 I don't know.

00:05:05.000 I just wanted to see what it looked like to have like a Joe Dirt.

00:05:08.000 So you straightened the back of your hair, but you left the front of your hair curly.

00:05:11.000 Right.

00:05:12.000 And what's your favorite thing about Billy Bologna behind you?

00:05:17.000 What's my favorite thing about him?

00:05:19.000 Yeah.

00:05:20.000 Oh, that he's just the greatest.

00:05:21.000 I mean, I think Mr. Rogers said it best when he said, There's no person in the whole world like Billy Bologna.

00:05:29.000 You don't know who Billy Bologna is.

00:05:31.000 He's the puppet, which is the friend of Pete Herman.

00:05:34.000 Which is the bald eagle.

00:05:35.000 This is a shirt my wife got me in Madison, Wisconsin.

00:05:40.000 She was thrifting, and then I bought this.

00:05:42.000 This is starting up.

00:05:43.000 I'm starting my new look.

00:05:44.000 Not for the show.

00:05:45.000 The show will still wear suits.

00:05:46.000 But my new look is working-class LARP.

00:05:50.000 That's good.

00:05:51.000 Like I was at the pub the other day, and some of the guys from my gym came by, and I had on like Carhartt's.

00:05:57.000 I had a chainsaw sweatshirt for, what's it called?

00:06:01.000 That's chainsaw company farts.

00:06:04.000 What are they called?

00:06:05.000 DeWalt?

00:06:06.000 Yeah.

00:06:07.000 I had a DeWalt sweatshirt on.

00:06:09.000 And then I had a Gucci belt. 0.99

00:06:10.000 And he's like, you're trying to fucking look all tough, all working class, and you go and you always fuck it up with like a Gucci belt. 0.99

00:06:18.000 And I'm like, Ryan, his name's also Ryan, it's not a fuck up, dude. 0.99

00:06:22.000 This is my look. 0.97

00:06:24.000 Right.

00:06:24.000 Carhart overalls with a Gucci wallet.

00:06:27.000 Yeah, and the guy saved up to get the Gucci wallet.

00:06:29.000 Like, He fancies himself a Gucci man.

00:06:32.000 He buys one item. 1.00

00:06:33.000 Yeah, I like Jamaican white trash. 1.00

00:06:36.000 Like, they'll have white trash, black trash. 1.00

00:06:38.000 They'll have a house in cinder blocks, and then they'll have a Range Rover in the driveway. 1.00

00:06:43.000 I like that kind of opulence.

00:06:45.000 Yep.

00:06:46.000 I'm not into Italian opulence with the column.

00:06:50.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:06:51.000 Lots of different tangents.

00:06:52.000 We still haven't started the show.

00:06:53.000 We'd like to thank our sponsor, Tactical Walls.

00:06:56.000 Why spend money on guns when they just sit in a closet somewhere?

00:07:02.000 I understand if you're in New York, everything has to be in a safe locked up.

00:07:06.000 I got you.

00:07:07.000 But if you don't have to have them in a safe, have them on a mod wall.

00:07:12.000 Ryan here lives in a gun-free zone called New York City, and his desk, what can he fit on his tactical wall?

00:07:21.000 He's got a Billy Bologna.

00:07:22.000 He's got a Peebee Herman. 1.00

00:07:24.000 He's got fake shit, literally. 1.00

00:07:27.000 He's got a mug I bought in Paris in Pigal of a penis going into a butthole. 1.00

00:07:33.000 He's got a statue my wife got me that says, please be a fart. 1.00

00:07:37.000 And then, of course, my neighbor's friendly signs.

00:07:39.000 That's all we can put up here.

00:07:41.000 If you are lucky enough to live in a place where you can own guns, then you should proudly display them.

00:07:46.000 They're not cheap.

00:07:47.000 They're expensive.

00:07:48.000 They should be easy to grab.

00:07:50.000 And look how beautiful they are.

00:07:51.000 You know what you do when you put your guns on a mod wall?

00:07:54.000 You're really starting your own museum.

00:07:57.000 And it's truly a testament to the incredible design of the gun industry.

00:08:03.000 You know what I just realized right now?

00:08:05.000 I don't think I've ever seen an ugly gun.

00:08:08.000 No.

00:08:08.000 I've never seen a gun.

00:08:10.000 I have guns that I would prefer to have and guns that I wouldn't be dying to have.

00:08:15.000 I've never seen one gun ever in my life where I went, eh, gross.

00:08:21.000 I mean, 99% of cars make me puke.

00:08:26.000 Car 98s, the sniper rifles?

00:08:29.000 I don't know what that is.

00:08:30.000 It's a weapon.

00:08:32.000 It's a weapon.

00:08:34.000 But they all look beautiful.

00:08:36.000 So when you have a work of art that fantastic in your home, display it with pride at tacticalwalls.com.

00:08:42.000 Promo code Gavin15.

00:08:45.000 And don't worry, they're very generous with their promo code.

00:08:47.000 So if you fuck it up and you have lowercase and it's just Gavin, you'll still get, what is it, 15% off?

00:08:53.000 20% off?

00:08:54.000 15.

00:08:54.000 I'm guessing that's 15% off.

00:08:56.000 Yeah, it's 15% off.

00:08:58.000 See, that's the problem with the copy guy.

00:09:01.000 I don't read his copy that he writes for us because he's not a writer.

00:09:05.000 See, sales guys are great at sales, but they tend not to be great at other stuff. 0.96

00:09:10.000 And then they often write copy, and it's pathetic. 0.84

00:09:12.000 Actually, just bring me that over. 0.91

00:09:14.000 Let me tell you what ad sales guys.

00:09:16.000 And by the way, I never disparage ad sales guy.

00:09:19.000 Shane advice made me a multi-millionaire.

00:09:23.000 My buddy at Rooster, when I had the ad agency, I hate sales.

00:09:28.000 I hate doing it because I hate no.

00:09:30.000 When people say no to me, I get pissed off. 1.00

00:09:32.000 I want to just go, fuck you. 1.00

00:09:35.000 Same with like when I have my kids, like if my kids apply to something and they don't get in, I want to beat everyone up. 1.00

00:09:40.000 So I'm not good at sales.

00:09:41.000 But here's what the sales guy wrote.

00:09:44.000 Your toots, your booze and reefer, what? 0.99

00:09:51.000 Tactical walls, tactical walls, way better than Joe Biden's not-so-tactical balls. 1.00

00:09:56.000 So these walls are better than the president's testicles, which no one who watches the show likes Joe Biden's balls. 1.00

00:10:03.000 So that's weird. 1.00

00:10:04.000 The tactical wall is made to hide your guns.

00:10:07.000 No, some of the things on the site are good for hiding guns, but others are just displaying them in a very proud way.

00:10:14.000 Your toots, booze, and reefer and all other fun.

00:10:19.000 This is, no.

00:10:20.000 Tactical walls are not for hiding cocaine.

00:10:23.000 What is this guy talking about?

00:10:26.000 Tactical walls are made by Tactical Tim.

00:10:28.000 Yes, Tactical Tim, good friend of mine, had him on the show here, hung out with him for 13 hours in a row.

00:10:35.000 Wonderful guy.

00:10:36.000 An American hero.

00:10:37.000 That's why we love him.

00:10:38.000 Tactical walls are 100% worth having.

00:10:40.000 Oh, no.

00:10:40.000 It's 20% off, Ryan.

00:10:42.000 Oh, dang.

00:10:43.000 20% off.

00:10:44.000 But the promo code is Gavin 15.

00:10:48.000 Okay.

00:10:49.000 I ain't going to judge.

00:10:50.000 I ain't going to judge.

00:10:53.000 So as you know, the way this show works is we read letters.

00:10:58.000 What are you doing there?

00:10:58.000 You're presenting the tactical wall?

00:11:01.000 Yep.

00:11:01.000 Okay.

00:11:03.000 We read letters for the first hour, and then we take calls for the second hour.

00:11:07.000 It's a way to communicate with you people.

00:11:09.000 It's also free for the first half hour, and it's released as a podcast.

00:11:15.000 I used to just do the podcast where I'd say one sentence and then make the whole podcast about that.

00:11:20.000 But I don't do that anymore.

00:11:22.000 Oh, right.

00:11:24.000 Even pay the bills.

00:11:25.000 Yeah.

00:11:27.000 There's too much generosity with a lot of content these days.

00:11:31.000 Although I did, I will be giving out free content on Getter.

00:11:36.000 Get on Getter.

00:11:37.000 I'm trying it now.

00:11:39.000 So it is alleged.

00:11:40.000 G-E-T-T-R. 1.00

00:11:42.000 It is allegedly a band-free Twitter.

00:11:48.000 Now, I'm scrolling through it now.

00:11:49.000 I'm following Dinesh D'Souza, who posts way too much.

00:11:52.000 The Epoch Times, Jack Pesobic.

00:11:57.000 Both those guys post too much.

00:11:58.000 In fact, this entire time I've been talking, there's been Dinesh D'Souza and Jack Pesobic again and again.

00:12:05.000 Carfe Donctum is on there.

00:12:06.000 Look how well you blend into the screen here.

00:12:09.000 Yeah.

00:12:10.000 Look how cohesive.

00:12:12.000 Okay.

00:12:14.000 Yeah, so it's allegedly the new Twitter.

00:12:17.000 So let's get all the baby monsters on this. 0.88

00:12:20.000 G-E-T-T-R. 1.00

00:12:24.000 Also, baby monsters, let's torment Amy Siskin more. 1.00

00:12:28.000 She's fun to annoy. 1.00

00:12:31.000 What did Tucker Carlson describe her as?

00:12:33.000 A finance fiend who now tweets for a living.

00:12:37.000 Because I was looking at her Twitter the other day, and I can't comment on anything because I'm not on Twitter.

00:12:42.000 I'm banned.

00:12:43.000 But I'd love it if you guys would just go there and be a thorn in her side.

00:12:47.000 She's tormented me and my family, and I'd appreciate some revenge.

00:12:52.000 Pull her up.

00:12:54.000 Amy Siskind on Twitter. 1.00

00:12:56.000 A truly vile cunt of a woman who is the Pied Piper of Bored Housewives. 1.00

00:13:02.000 And what she does is she torments local conservatives. 1.00

00:13:06.000 She's who's this now?

00:13:11.000 Someone calling me?

00:13:15.000 She, her.

00:13:17.000 She, her.

00:13:19.000 If your pronouns are normal, do you have to, should you bother announcing them?

00:13:25.000 Like, when it comes to referring to me, you can just do what you probably were going to do anyway and just do she, her.

00:13:31.000 Isn't that redundant?

00:13:32.000 It's more important if you are a regular cisgender.

00:13:36.000 Because then you're showing your plate.

00:13:37.000 Why don't you just put in your bio, no allergies?

00:13:41.000 If anyone's making me anything to eat, I have no, don't worry about it.

00:13:46.000 So I'll be part of a Zoom event on September 22nd.

00:13:50.000 What's the date today?

00:13:53.000 Oh, shoot, that was yesterday.

00:13:55.000 First day of fall yesterday.

00:13:56.000 Farts.

00:13:58.000 Keep going down. 1.00

00:14:00.000 And it's stupid. 1.00

00:14:01.000 Don't just do, you know, nothing wrong with that. 1.00

00:14:05.000 That's funny for mob and chiz and stuff.

00:14:07.000 But it's more intelligent to contradict her and show the flaws with her plan.

00:14:13.000 So go back up here.

00:14:16.000 Is it me, New Yorkers?

00:14:18.000 Is it me, New Yorkers?

00:14:20.000 Or do things seem so much more calm since Hocho became governor?

00:14:24.000 Just quiet competence.

00:14:26.000 It's nice.

00:14:28.000 And for that one, you could say, like, yeah, she's definitely not killed as many senior citizens.

00:14:39.000 That's a fun one.

00:14:42.000 Or I don't recall you complaining about Cuomo when he murdered old people.

00:14:46.000 That's a fun one.

00:14:48.000 Now, let's go to number two here.

00:14:50.000 Recognize this man.

00:14:51.000 Where is mail?

00:14:52.000 Proud boys photo symbolizes heated debate over DEI SO.

00:14:58.000 So she's trying to dox a guy. 1.00

00:15:02.000 Click on this, though.

00:15:04.000 What's this story?

00:15:06.000 She's obsessed with Proud Boys.

00:15:07.000 And by the way, why are journalists obsessed with Proud Boys? 1.00

00:15:12.000 Because they have shitty lives. 0.98

00:15:16.000 Siskin destroyed her own marriage with infidelity, cheated on her husband with a woman while she was nine months pregnant, I believe. 0.99

00:15:24.000 And so when Proud Boys represent family and put a ring on it and make babies, if you have fucked one of those up, then it makes you feel bad. 0.97

00:15:35.000 So if you discredit the club, well, then now I don't feel so bad. 0.99

00:15:40.000 If the critics say your album sucks and you discover, you work on pointing out that this critic is a pedophile, well now who cares that they hate your album? 0.93

00:15:50.000 It's actually a good thing. 1.00

00:15:51.000 So so much of Proud Boys criticism is based on people with their own shitty families. 0.97

00:15:58.000 Anyway, Proud Boy's photo symbolizes heated debate over DISOS. 0.98

00:16:02.000 I don't understand this.

00:16:03.000 Do you?

00:16:04.000 Let's see the first paragraph.

00:16:08.000 Westchester, social media posting about Proud Boys in Briarcliff on August 5th and a photo of Mystery Man in a Gray suit.

00:16:15.000 Who is this unmasked man?

00:16:17.000 The above photo has been circulating on social media since an August 5th protest held in Briarcliffe Manor for NY, a New York State GOP fundraiser attended by former President Trump, including members of the Proud Boys.

00:16:27.000 Also intended, were Progressive Democrats.

00:16:30.000 So this is back when Trump was playing golf in Westchester.

00:16:37.000 And because Amy lives nearby, she was outraged and her and her friends protested it.

00:16:42.000 And then there was a place higher up in Briarcliffe Manor, I believe, where he also played golf, which tends to be a little more MAGA.

00:16:50.000 And there were Proud Boys there.

00:16:53.000 What's the big deal?

00:16:54.000 Many Democrats, Progressives, and Indivisible members.

00:16:57.000 Indivisible members.

00:16:58.000 Yeah, there's this thing called Indivisible Westchester where the people of Westchester fight for equality.

00:17:05.000 Now, the irony here is overwhelming because Westchester is alarmingly white, especially the people involved in Indivisible Westchester. 0.99

00:17:13.000 Indivisible members all send their kids to white schools.

00:17:16.000 They practice eugenics, yet they spend their days virtue signaling about diversity and how open they are to it. 1.00

00:17:26.000 If you were to send one colored person to their kids' school, they would have a motherfucking heart attack. 1.00

00:17:33.000 If the school boards dare rezoned their areas and made their schools more diverse, they would be packing their bags that afternoon. 0.99

00:17:43.000 You know, I was thinking about this the other day, how people could live in areas so white and pretend they're so diverse.

00:17:49.000 You know what I think it might be?

00:17:52.000 Their staff.

00:17:54.000 They're like, we have our maid is from Zimbabwe and she lives in the house.

00:17:59.000 We consider her family.

00:18:01.000 She's one of our, therefore now you have a black family member.

00:18:06.000 So we're diverse now.

00:18:10.000 And they do this.

00:18:11.000 I'm basing this too on their talk of restaurants, right?

00:18:14.000 Because they're like, I love diversity.

00:18:16.000 You can have Somalian food one night and Mexican the other.

00:18:19.000 It's all servants.

00:18:20.000 When they talk about diversity, they really are about a diversity of servants.

00:18:25.000 Anyway, Amy sums that up.

00:18:28.000 So I don't know exactly how you would handle that particular gripe because I'm not sure.

00:18:34.000 Oh, here's one you could do for that one.

00:18:36.000 You could be like, oh, is this when you were mad that Trump was playing golf?

00:18:42.000 Yeah.

00:18:43.000 So just go through her tweets because it's 100% of her existence and just contradict her, criticize her.

00:18:52.000 Don't torment her. 1.00

00:18:53.000 Don't do anything lame like you're a fat ugly bitch or anything stupid like that. 1.00

00:18:56.000 Even Trump was mad when he was playing golf. 1.00

00:19:14.000 A baby monster sent that into us. 0.83

00:19:16.000 I didn't even include it in the notes because it's so boring. 0.98

00:19:19.000 I just love Trump cursing. 0.77

00:19:21.000 I miss him. 0.59

00:19:22.000 Yeah, but that's so uneventful. 0.98

00:19:24.000 Everyone says that about every shitty hole. 0.99

00:19:26.000 And that hole looks like a nightmare. 0.99

00:19:27.000 It does look like a nightmare.

00:19:28.000 It's nothing but water to the green.

00:19:31.000 Do you know when I played golf with Ryan last?

00:19:32.000 He got a golf ball stuck in a tree?

00:19:35.000 Yeah.

00:19:36.000 and it would not come out.

00:19:38.000 And then he threw his golf club at the tree, thinking that would dislodge it.

00:19:44.000 Yeah.

00:19:45.000 I figure it's got to be hanging by a thread.

00:19:47.000 Hanging by a thread.

00:19:51.000 Another sponsor we want to thank for supporting the show, of course, is Nita Fashions for cheap rich guys.

00:19:58.000 They don't want to take that as their motto.

00:20:01.000 I think they should.

00:20:03.000 And contacting them through Instagram seems to be the most popular with you guys.

00:20:08.000 I would contact them on their site.

00:20:10.000 But you're not talking to some random person.

00:20:13.000 When you contact them through Instagram, you're talking to the owner's son.

00:20:16.000 That's my tailor.

00:20:18.000 That's the guy who measures me.

00:20:19.000 That's the guy who sends me swatches.

00:20:21.000 You've noticed I'm usually not wearing Budweiser gear.

00:20:24.000 I'm usually dressed incredibly well on this show.

00:20:28.000 And that is thanks to Nita Fashions.

00:20:29.000 You'll also notice that I'm not uncomfortable and I'm going like this and I feel, I come across as claustrophobic.

00:20:35.000 That's because my shirts are tailor-made by Nita Fashions, and they fit like pee-pee jam jams.

00:20:41.000 They fit perfectly.

00:20:43.000 The pants all feel, it's weird too, because, you know, often when you wear a suit, you come home and you want to change right out of your suit, right? 0.99

00:20:50.000 You got to put on those stupid fucking basketball shorts that look like you're wearing a kilt with your little shirt on. 1.00

00:20:57.000 God, I hate the way the American man dresses when he gets home with his fucking Crocs on. 1.00

00:21:03.000 Blacks are just as bad as American whites. 1.00

00:21:07.000 I saw a black teenager today wearing shoes that laced up and were tied tight. 1.00

00:21:12.000 And I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:21:15.000 A person wearing shoes in the South Bronx? 1.00

00:21:19.000 We have arrived.

00:21:20.000 Anyway, when you come home wearing a Nita fashion suit, you don't take it off.

00:21:25.000 You're not itching to get in your sweats.

00:21:27.000 They are sweats.

00:21:29.000 They feel like sweats.

00:21:31.000 And ladies, you've got to figure this out. 1.00

00:21:33.000 The way you take off your shoes at weddings and you're dancing barefoot, you look like an idiot. 1.00

00:21:37.000 You look like a weird gypsy. 1.00

00:21:39.000 Stop doing that. 0.92

00:21:40.000 And guys, we don't have to do that.

00:21:42.000 When we get married, when we go to weddings, when we go to funerals in a Nita fashion suit, we are never uncomfortable.

00:21:49.000 Go ahead, turn up the heat.

00:21:51.000 Make it 100 degrees.

00:21:53.000 I don't kiss air.

00:21:56.000 So yeah, Nita Fashions, talk to them, mention that you are connecting with them because of the show.

00:22:03.000 You get, I don't know what it is, 15% off.

00:22:06.000 I forget the percentage.

00:22:07.000 I guess I should know that.

00:22:09.000 But it's a fantastic place.

00:22:11.000 And you go, but Gavin, you're supporting a place.

00:22:14.000 It's Indian dudes in Hong Kong.

00:22:16.000 Don't you support American business?

00:22:19.000 Yes, I do.

00:22:20.000 Have you ever had a suit custom-made in America?

00:22:22.000 Especially in New York City?

00:22:23.000 It's five to seven grand.

00:22:26.000 These guys can put something together.

00:22:28.000 They can get you a $50 shirt.

00:22:30.000 They can get you $1,000 shirt suit, sorry.

00:22:33.000 And I'm sorry, but the craftsmanship is amazing.

00:22:36.000 The craft of being a tailor in America, it's a dying art form.

00:22:41.000 I feel like we're losing it.

00:22:43.000 All right.

00:22:44.000 So that's our two sponsors for today's show, Tactical Walls, Need of Fashions.

00:22:49.000 We'll be getting to letters in a second.

00:22:50.000 But before we do, I would like to say that I saw Billy Idol last night.

00:22:59.000 You know what's weird? 0.95

00:23:00.000 The first two songs sucked. 0.72

00:23:02.000 You know why? 0.98

00:23:03.000 Because he's old.

00:23:04.000 You got to warm up.

00:23:07.000 Literally, like your bones.

00:23:09.000 The blood's got to get flowing.

00:23:11.000 He did, the first song was like, Rock the cradle of love, which I don't like. 0.87

00:23:15.000 That was when he was a crackhead.

00:23:17.000 And then he did Dancing with Myself, which is a very jumpy song. 0.85

00:23:21.000 You should be going nuts for that.

00:23:23.000 And he wasn't.

00:23:24.000 He was sort of like, he had those legs.

00:23:26.000 Remember Bobby D?

00:23:29.000 Bobby De Niro in The Irishman?

00:23:31.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:23:32.000 When he beats the shit out of that guy? 0.69

00:23:33.000 Could you pull that up? 0.96

00:23:35.000 And Bobby De Niro was CGI'd to look young.

00:23:39.000 And I don't like the way that looks, but it's especially bad in Star Wars.

00:23:44.000 It kind of ruined the new Pee Wee Herman.

00:23:46.000 They get into that uncanny valley where they just look weird.

00:23:49.000 But ew, gross. 1.00

00:23:54.000 I never liked that shit. 1.00

00:23:55.000 But anyway, one thing you can't get past is an old man's body. 1.00

00:24:01.000 We move different.

00:24:03.000 Okay? 0.99

00:24:04.000 And look at the way he beats the shit out of this guy. 0.99

00:24:07.000 Look at this. 0.99

00:24:08.000 Look at this.

00:24:10.000 There it is.

00:24:15.000 Look at those kicks. 0.76

00:24:19.000 The little girl's more worried about him.

00:24:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:21.000 The other guy.

00:24:22.000 Hey, De Niro, go beat me up. 1.00

00:24:24.000 It's funny when he's like, fuck Trump. 1.00

00:24:26.000 I'd like to punch him in the face. 1.00

00:24:28.000 Judging by the way you move your body, Mr. De Niro, you can beat me up anytime. 1.00

00:24:32.000 I will not fight back.

00:24:35.000 I hope you're not offended if I bring a magazine and I read some articles. 0.99

00:24:39.000 I might read some celebrity gossip as you kick the shit out of me. 0.99

00:24:43.000 Look at that kick. 0.99

00:24:44.000 That was so...

00:24:44.000 Oh my God, that's so bad.

00:24:46.000 The little arm. 0.98

00:24:47.000 Dude, go back to his kicking in the head. 1.00

00:24:50.000 The acting there with the head going back was pathetic. 1.00

00:24:54.000 This is a student film. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Watch his head. 0.57

00:24:58.000 Oh, you kicked me. 0.86

00:24:59.000 Oh, you kicked me.

00:25:01.000 This is an NYU movie.

00:25:06.000 Oh! 0.60

00:25:08.000 That's what I do when people stand on my hand.

00:25:10.000 I go, oh, oh, oh.

00:25:13.000 Anyway, I don't want to disparage Saint Billy.

00:25:18.000 He's my idol.

00:25:19.000 He changed my life forever.

00:25:21.000 The song White Wedding altered the trajectory of my life forever.

00:25:25.000 But I gotta say, seeming a little stiff, dancing it with myself. 0.89

00:25:37.000 He did fucking 100 punks, though, from... 0.95

00:25:43.000 I think this is the exact concert. 0.97

00:25:45.000 922 Capitol Theater, Port Chester.

00:25:48.000 I was there.

00:25:50.000 That's handy.

00:25:52.000 So he's warmed up now.

00:25:54.000 This is like two-thirds of the way in.

00:25:56.000 But do you see some De Niro in him?

00:26:00.000 This is not the guy who used to hop.

00:26:09.000 Dude, I appreciate the footage.

00:26:12.000 We're talking about this on the show, so it's very handy.

00:26:14.000 But why didn't you just enjoy the show?

00:26:16.000 Why were you documenting it for us?

00:26:23.000 He's not the only one.

00:26:23.000 There's those guys too to the right.

00:26:25.000 Where are their videos?

00:26:26.000 Oh, everyone was.

00:26:27.000 No, it was crazy.

00:26:30.000 I've been having bad luck going out with my wife these days where I'm inevitably sitting next to a 10.

00:26:36.000 Like we go to some fancy Korean barbecue that's in Koreatown at the top of some high rise.

00:26:46.000 Woman right there. 1.00

00:26:47.000 A fucking half-white flip 10. 1.00

00:26:50.000 So I have to keep looking away. 1.00

00:26:51.000 And then the woman sitting next was at this thing. 1.00

00:26:53.000 Some white-haired 45-year-old was with like a 30-year-old 10.

00:26:59.000 Look, he's still got Steve Stevens.

00:27:00.000 Nice.

00:27:01.000 You were hoping for that.

00:27:02.000 I was hoping for that.

00:27:04.000 I got what I had paid for.

00:27:05.000 I got my Generation X. They did the 100 Punk song.

00:27:08.000 We had Steve Stevens.

00:27:09.000 Where were you standing at?

00:27:11.000 I was in $150 seats in the balcony.

00:27:14.000 Okay.

00:27:14.000 But comfy.

00:27:15.000 And you got a good view.

00:27:17.000 Yes.

00:27:18.000 Okay.

00:27:20.000 Everybody masked or vexed or whatever?

00:27:24.000 There was barely any masks.

00:27:26.000 Well, that rules.

00:27:27.000 And I've been training a lot for this fight.

00:27:29.000 So it's increasing my testosterone. 0.99

00:27:31.000 So I'm becoming a real dick to people. 0.99

00:27:34.000 And this woman goes, I go, where am I seated here? 0.99

00:27:37.000 She works there.

00:27:38.000 She goes, I can't see that.

00:27:40.000 I don't have my glasses.

00:27:41.000 And I'm like, you can't do your job.

00:27:43.000 Yeah, that's your job.

00:27:45.000 You're no longer qualified.

00:27:46.000 Tell that to your boss.

00:27:48.000 Look at his weird face. 0.96

00:27:49.000 Doesn't he look like a monkey? 0.83

00:27:51.000 It looks like he's got an old man mask on a little bit. 0.93

00:27:54.000 He's an old monkey man. 0.99

00:27:56.000 Man, this guy's right there. 0.81

00:27:58.000 This guy's in the front row.

00:28:00.000 I know, eh?

00:28:01.000 Like, this would be zero points.

00:28:03.000 If this was on MTV, you'd go, MTV spent some good money.

00:28:06.000 Yeah.

00:28:09.000 He put on a great show.

00:28:10.000 Now I feel terrible.

00:28:11.000 Yes, at the beginning, first two songs, he's a little stiff, but Jesus, he must be 65 years old.

00:28:17.000 Yeah, what if he sees this and gets hurt? 0.99

00:28:19.000 Oh, now I feel fucking horrible. 0.97

00:28:20.000 Wait, he's got a... 0.95

00:28:21.000 Well, this was a weird scene.

00:28:22.000 I remember this.

00:28:23.000 What is this?

00:28:26.000 I guess he plays a solo to...

00:28:28.000 Oh, yeah, that sound.

00:28:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:33.000 Oh, that's awesome. 0.97

00:28:38.000 Dude, that's fucking cool. 0.99

00:28:45.000 Dude, that fucking rules for some reason. 0.99

00:28:47.000 Yeah, it was great. 0.99

00:28:48.000 I can't even tell you why that was.

00:28:49.000 Now I hate myself.

00:28:50.000 Now I hate myself trying to jock on Billy. 0.99

00:28:53.000 Fucking the guy's out there, 65 years old, putting on a great show, and I'm like, he could have stretched a little more. 0.99

00:29:00.000 The 10 next to you just look at him like, fucking, I would do. 1.00

00:29:03.000 You're not jumping up and down enough. 0.99

00:29:06.000 Well, I'm traumatized by seeing the Sonics. 0.98

00:29:08.000 The Sonics were a great band in the 60s, kind of pre-punk, surf rock.

00:29:14.000 And I saw them in Brooklyn about 20 years ago when they were 75 years old, and it ruined the Sonics for me.

00:29:20.000 So I'm overly cautious of seeing old performers.

00:29:23.000 But T was great.

00:29:24.000 Anyway, let's go behind the paywall now.

00:29:27.000 Say goodbye to the freeloaders.

00:29:29.000 Freeloaders out there, censored.tv, more content than you can watch.

00:29:33.000 I am actually obsessed with it now.

00:29:34.000 I stopped listening to Stern and Sirius, and now I set up a censored show, put it in my car.

00:29:40.000 When I'm driving, I catch up on Atheism is Unstoppable, Jim Goad, Jacob Wall, Dusty Bogan. 0.98

00:29:45.000 Dude, Bogues, he's on the streets fucking in Australia. 1.00

00:29:49.000 Cutting-edge, man-on-the-street shit. 1.00

00:29:52.000 Intense. 1.00

00:29:53.000 And Australia is a place you want to hear about these days because they've gone from the biggest cucks in the Western world to the forefront of the revolution.

00:30:02.000 Yep.

00:30:03.000 I just saw footage of a guy getting jumped by the cops and tackled because he had an orange shirt on because there's so many construction workers fighting back against the cops that they're now doing like they see it as a gang.

00:30:15.000 So if they see reflective shirts, they tackle you.

00:30:19.000 Anyway, $10 a month.

00:30:21.000 It's worth it.

00:30:22.000 It will replenish your faith in humanity and restore your sanity.

00:30:27.000 So until we meet behind the paywall, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:31:03.000 But yeah, guys, let's really torture that Amy Siskind. 1.00

00:31:06.000 All she has is Twitter.

00:31:08.000 Her kids are grown out of the house.

00:31:10.000 She's got her two dogs. 1.00

00:31:11.000 And all she does is sabotage people's lives, trying to get proud boys fired. 1.00

00:31:16.000 And you don't have to do anything but just call out her tweets for the mistakes that they are.

00:31:23.000 And she will have a nervous breakdown.

00:31:25.000 And that will be great.

00:31:29.000 Okay, shall we dive into the letters page, Ryan?

00:31:32.000 Yeah, the mailbag.

00:31:34.000 I was with a guy today at the pub.

00:31:36.000 We call him Jackson because his last name's Jackson.

00:31:40.000 But he looks like General Jackson.

00:31:42.000 He's got the whole mustache thing.

00:31:44.000 Stonewall, sorry.

00:31:46.000 I fucked that up completely.

00:31:48.000 Everyone calls him Stonewall because his name's Jackson and he looks like Stonewall Jackson.

00:31:52.000 Anyway, he started going to concerts when he was 15 in the late 60s.

00:31:58.000 He saw Jeff Beck with then unknown vocalist named Rod Stewart.

00:32:04.000 Wow.

00:32:06.000 He saw The Who open for the doors in 1968.

00:32:12.000 All they had out then was The Who sell out.

00:32:15.000 I can see for miles and miles.

00:32:17.000 I think they had two or three albums at that point. 0.99

00:32:20.000 And he saw fucking Jimi Hendrix. 1.00

00:32:22.000 Damn. 1.00

00:32:23.000 And The Who were tanking. 1.00

00:32:25.000 The Who had just had a complete flop of a single come out.

00:32:29.000 And the only reason people were going to see them, besides that they were opening for the doors, was that they were known to smash their equipment, and that hadn't been done.

00:32:39.000 Luckily, they turned it around.

00:32:41.000 You know, I just saw Midget Hank. 0.99

00:32:43.000 What is his name?

00:32:44.000 Drunk Hank from Howard Stern?

00:32:46.000 Jeff the Drunk?

00:32:48.000 Is it? 0.60

00:32:48.000 He's the Midget guy? 0.60

00:32:49.000 Yeah, Hank the Tank.

00:32:51.000 Hank.

00:32:52.000 Was there another?

00:32:52.000 There was another drunk for a while.

00:32:53.000 I think it was a long guy.

00:32:55.000 I thought his name was Hank, but he crushes with music trivia and they found this out.

00:32:59.000 And then he goes against Gary.

00:33:01.000 And they do like a little music quiz.

00:33:03.000 Does he talk like this?

00:33:05.000 Yeah.

00:33:05.000 Yeah, that's Jeff the Drunk.

00:33:07.000 You're blurry again there, shit for brains. 1.00

00:33:10.000 Yeah, that's it. 1.00

00:33:10.000 Adjust your bangs. 1.00

00:33:11.000 That'll get you sharp. 1.00

00:33:16.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 1.00

00:33:20.000 Let's turn our eyes together. 1.00

00:33:23.000 It's Mailburn.

00:33:26.000 Let me touch it.

00:33:29.000 Okay, lots of Ryan stuff right out of the gate here.

00:33:32.000 A lot of people are concerned about your record collection.

00:33:34.000 I mean, sorry, the music that you make.

00:33:36.000 Uh-oh.

00:33:37.000 Some have said it sounds like on regular show when they're making fun of the music they make.

00:33:42.000 Yeah.

00:33:42.000 That's funny.

00:33:44.000 This is from a guy we'll call Lewis.

00:33:47.000 Make Ryan play a song of his tonight.

00:33:49.000 Make Ryan play some of his music tonight to prove he is better than Jimi Hendrix.

00:33:53.000 But we've already played his music.

00:33:55.000 Does he mean they want you to grab a guitar?

00:33:58.000 I don't have a guitar here.

00:34:01.000 So that's impossible.

00:34:02.000 Have you got a new jam you want to rock out?

00:34:04.000 I actually recorded myself playing all along the watchtower today.

00:34:07.000 Oh, my stars.

00:34:08.000 Yes, the stars indeed.

00:34:10.000 Well, can we see that?

00:34:11.000 I'm sending it to this computer.

00:34:14.000 Okay.

00:34:14.000 And it'll probably take but a minute, so we can get a couple of mailbags in here.

00:34:19.000 Okay.

00:34:24.000 Scientists make miniature flying microchips for surveillance.

00:34:28.000 Hi, Gavin, an Asian faglord, scientists at Northwestern University, have made a tiny flying microchip that they say is for contamination monitoring, popular surveillance, or disease tracking. 1.00

00:34:41.000 That makes this baby monster beyond angry. 0.61

00:34:46.000 The microchip with wings is the smallest flying structure humans have ever built.

00:34:50.000 That's disturbing.

00:34:52.000 By the way, I shuffled Ryan's music for a couple of hours the other day, and it's actually really good. 1.00

00:34:57.000 So shut your fucking mouth, Gavin. 1.00

00:35:00.000 Damn. 1.00

00:35:01.000 Now, guys, I appreciate the support, but please don't be talking to my boy like that. 0.99

00:35:06.000 So keep it above board.

00:35:08.000 How does that have the power to fly?

00:35:10.000 Let's see a video.

00:35:12.000 There is a video.

00:35:18.000 Thanks.

00:35:20.000 That never occurred to me. 0.99

00:35:22.000 I hate when people say shit like that. 0.99

00:35:24.000 Since the beginning of time, man has been trying to improve his life. 0.99

00:35:28.000 Yeah.

00:35:30.000 And that has the effect of increasing the dispersal distance from the tree.

00:35:35.000 And that's the name of the game, is spreading the seeds as far as possible. 0.99

00:35:39.000 Yeah, I'm aware of fucking trees. 0.94

00:35:46.000 Jump to the flying microchip, please. 0.98

00:35:49.000 I don't want to lessen on dandelions.

00:35:53.000 Capabilities would allow us to display two electronic circuit chips with the idea that those capabilities would allow us to distribute highly functional with miniaturized electronic devices that could sense the environment for disease tracking, population surveillance, maybe monitoring of environmental concerns.

00:36:10.000 Sounds like they just drop them and so on.

00:36:17.000 So the objects that we've created consist of two parts.

00:36:20.000 One is an electronic functional component that has an overall size scale in the range of one millimeter. 0.96

00:36:28.000 This guy's got a jello bastard. 0.98

00:36:29.000 It's made of sand. 0.99

00:36:30.000 But we've integrated with that electronic chip wing structures that form almost what looks like a helicopter.

00:36:38.000 And so as these structures fall through the air, interaction between the air and those wings cause a rotational motion that creates a very stable, slow falling velocity that allows these structures to interact for extended periods with ambient wind that really enhances the dispersal process,

00:36:58.000 much like seeds do in the biological world.

00:37:02.000 We think we've beaten biology in a sense.

00:37:06.000 Wait, we've got this just in.

00:37:08.000 Gavin, you're confusing Jeff the Drunk with Hank the angry, drunken dwarf. 0.90

00:37:13.000 Shame.

00:37:14.000 But Hank hasn't been around for so long that you must be hearing a very old clip.

00:37:18.000 Yeah, I think maybe it was a re-upload. 0.98

00:37:20.000 But fucking really impressive music knowledge. 1.00

00:37:23.000 It's such obscure shit. 1.00

00:37:27.000 But that's when Sergeant was an ancient Chinese secret, dude. 0.99

00:37:32.000 Ryan making fun of a child being eaten by a cougar is one of the funniest things to ever happen on G-O-M-L.

00:37:39.000 And then he says it's on the full retard up. 0.97

00:37:40.000 Thank you. 0.65

00:37:42.000 Captain Pissy Pants, you previously claimed that wearing shirts after the age of 30 that feature any reference to bands is cringeworthy.

00:37:50.000 Correct.

00:37:52.000 How can that perspective hold any water coming from an old man who drinks himself into a pissy mess on a regular basis? 1.00

00:38:00.000 Pretty normal for my people in Scotland.

00:38:03.000 Wedding the chair is de rigour in Glasgow.

00:38:07.000 It's called culture. 1.00

00:38:11.000 Wears suits themed on idiotic films. 1.00

00:38:15.000 Animal House is an idiotic film? 1.00

00:38:18.000 And lots of fashion is an homage to some crucial piece of art, which is what Animal House is. 1.00

00:38:25.000 So that's a silly criticism.

00:38:27.000 While often cladding himself in tacky Budweiser merchandise. 0.77

00:38:31.000 Tacky?

00:38:33.000 This is...

00:38:33.000 I'm wearing an homage to the 80s, really.

00:38:38.000 I think this guy is just...

00:38:40.000 See, this is the problem with you guys throwing stones from your glass house. 1.00

00:38:47.000 You dress like shit. 1.00

00:38:49.000 So you're sitting here saying, why should I listen to you? 1.00

00:38:51.000 You do this.

00:38:52.000 Send a picture of yourself.

00:38:53.000 Send a picture of yourself, buddy, wearing anything. 1.00

00:38:56.000 I bet you look like a fucking dork. 1.00

00:38:58.000 We're wearing nothing. 1.00

00:39:00.000 Yeah, send nudes. 0.99

00:39:02.000 And this goes back to, on a slightly serious note, this shit with everyone mad at restaurants in New York City who are enforcing the vaccine passports. 0.99

00:39:13.000 Now, at my local pub, the guy never bothers, the one that I go to in the city, he goes, it's none of my fucking business, he's Irish, none of my fucking business. 1.00

00:39:21.000 That's great and everything. 0.99

00:39:23.000 But before you shit on these restaurants for having to succumb to this bullshit, I'd like you just to own a business first, okay? 1.00

00:39:33.000 Because it fucking sucks in Julian. 1.00

00:39:36.000 I'm sorry, in de Blasios, New York. 0.99

00:39:38.000 It's really, really hard.

00:39:41.000 I'd love to see you try.

00:39:43.000 I would love to see you keep a business open and feed your family through the pandemic. 0.99

00:39:49.000 Guys, you got to accomplish something before you shit on everyone else. 0.99

00:39:56.000 In fact, I just had a guy who wrote a letter here. 0.98

00:40:02.000 I am done.

00:40:02.000 We'll probably get to it.

00:40:04.000 Where he's like, fuck you, man, you got to stand up for it. 1.00

00:40:06.000 And I was just like, just tell me what business you started from scratch and how that's working out and the sacrifices you made during the pandemic. 1.00

00:40:18.000 Do you have you playing your shitty music yet? 0.98

00:40:20.000 I got it. 1.00

00:40:21.000 All right.

00:40:25.000 Here we go.

00:40:26.000 So this, wait a minute. 0.99

00:40:28.000 Just before you play, this must have been so fucking easy for you playing this loser Jimi Hendrix song. 0.98

00:40:36.000 Yeah, I learned it by ear. 0.96

00:40:38.000 And when it's not fucking easy, but when something's recorded, and this is one of my favorite solos of all the time. 0.89

00:40:42.000 I mean, the whole thing is a guitar masterpiece in my eyes. 0.94

00:40:45.000 But the thing is, he would hardly ever play that.

00:40:47.000 He would never play this the same way live.

00:40:49.000 He would just go.

00:40:51.000 And so there was no integrity in it.

00:40:52.000 But when he recorded this, I mean, he made one of the greatest guitar pieces ever.

00:40:57.000 So you've seen him do this live a bunch of times?

00:40:59.000 Oh my god, it's just disappointing. 0.99

00:41:00.000 Fucking, it's just all over the place. 1.00

00:41:02.000 You're like, please perform the shit that I like, sir. 1.00

00:41:05.000 Well, he's high on heroin. 1.00

00:41:07.000 I understand.

00:41:08.000 Everybody's got their crosses to be.

00:41:10.000 Kitten pillow.

00:41:12.000 Oh, wait, this is a different song.

00:41:14.000 Okay.

00:41:31.000 No, I haven't played this part yet.

00:41:33.000 Here it comes.

00:41:56.000 You didn't do the.

00:42:00.000 Oh, no, no, he didn't do that yet.

00:42:01.000 That comes later.

00:42:05.000 I'm not making excuses, but my tone has been better, too.

00:42:07.000 I've been having some electronic problems.

00:42:09.000 Yeah, whatever, Ryan. 0.99

00:42:11.000 Rose McGowan just made me cringe so hard, I got a fucking Charlie horse in my toe. 1.00

00:42:16.000 Keep doing what you do. 0.99

00:42:17.000 No link concluded or anything.

00:42:19.000 But Rose McGowan has been making the rounds. 0.82

00:42:23.000 She was on Tucker's show.

00:42:26.000 Tucker's big on bridging the gap.

00:42:29.000 So Kanye, Rose, who else?

00:42:33.000 Oh, Nikki Minaj.

00:42:35.000 I don't know.

00:42:36.000 Live by the Nikki, die by the Nikki, as Ben Shapiro said of Kanye. 0.96

00:42:40.000 And I don't get all excited when the left throws us a bone and says, hey, actually, Trump doesn't deserve to die. 1.00

00:42:51.000 She's a mental patient. 1.00

00:42:52.000 Who are we kidding? 0.99

00:42:53.000 Then it's not just Harvey Weinstein at all.

00:42:54.000 It's like a lot of people.

00:42:55.000 Did you see what she did the other day?

00:42:57.000 She insisted that somebody broke into her house.

00:42:59.000 What's this called?

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:01.000 It was a creepy video.

00:43:01.000 I'll see if I can find it.

00:43:03.000 That was kind of the point.

00:43:04.000 Exactly.

00:43:05.000 So at what point do you recognize it's not just this creepy movie mogul?

00:43:10.000 It's like everybody.

00:43:11.000 Well, very quickly.

00:43:12.000 When I flew home, I...

00:43:14.000 This will not be quick.

00:43:16.000 Here we go.

00:43:18.000 Who's running me off the road?

00:43:21.000 Wait, what?

00:43:23.000 Who's breaking into where I live?

00:43:26.000 Who's cloning my phone?

00:43:29.000 Hello, Democrats.

00:43:31.000 Who's running me off the road?

00:43:32.000 I don't believe you. 0.98

00:43:33.000 We adopted a maniac. 0.87

00:43:36.000 You know what that is? 0.94

00:43:37.000 I'm just guessing.

00:43:38.000 But she's got some other druggie friend who, like, forgot her keys and had to kick the door in to get there. 0.96

00:43:46.000 And she's sleeping on her couch right now.

00:43:50.000 That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

00:43:52.000 But yeah, let's hear Rose on Tucker really quick, not be quick.

00:43:58.000 And of course, you know, at that time, like, Fy had come out and said in the press, like, please, like, nothing would happen.

00:44:05.000 Obviously, it wasn't a time societally.

00:44:08.000 Certainly is not the time there, not that it ever was.

00:44:11.000 And so my old assistant, like three years ago, she's like, she's a lesbian, and the woman that came in, that presented as working for the LAPD in a black suit, like kind of a short-haired lesbian woman,

00:44:28.000 she goes, you're an actress, you've done the nude scene, you're done.

00:44:32.000 And she wasn't wrong. 0.96

00:44:33.000 I knew she was right.

00:44:33.000 I was like, yeah, you're right.

00:44:36.000 So then I found out quickly that he was offering to anybody he'd done this to a million dollars.

00:44:43.000 That was his number.

00:44:44.000 That was his standard offer.

00:44:46.000 And you had to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which means you cannot talk to your therapist, your boyfriend, your mom, anybody in your life for the rest of your life.

00:44:57.000 You cannot tell them this monstrous thing happened to you.

00:45:00.000 Keep it inside.

00:45:02.000 So I was like, I'm going to trick him.

00:45:06.000 So I played really dumb and requested $100,000 in return for not signing an NDA.

00:45:14.000 These smiles. 0.75

00:45:16.000 This might be what the cringe he's talking about.

00:45:18.000 What happens to women when they get that? 1.00

00:45:20.000 Like, what?

00:45:21.000 He's so tragic.

00:45:22.000 It's kind of a Johnny Rotten thing, too, where he's like, I don't always do what I'm told, but sometimes I tell people what to do, and then he goes and stops like he'll be talking to the person, but then he'll look over at the camera,

00:45:38.000 like, see what I did there?

00:45:39.000 A little tricky la meu in new like current interviews or the old ones, new ones, yeah, current ones that's one of your best impressions.

00:45:53.000 Uh, dear censored, I remember Ryan saying that he thought he had COVID a year ago.

00:45:58.000 Gavin didn't care then, he just did it.

00:46:03.000 They look great now, but they've obviously worked with him once, I was like, how do you deal with him?

00:46:14.000 I love the guy, but he's a sexy squirrel.

00:46:17.000 Hello, and he goes, That's who he is, man.

00:46:22.000 Like, he'll say, Do you fancy a cup of tea?

00:46:25.000 I'll go, yeah, right.

00:46:26.000 And he goes, Would you like some sugar in your tea?

00:46:31.000 Like, we're alone, and that's how he's talking.

00:46:35.000 He's not any of these.

00:46:37.000 Squirrels are rarely sexy.

00:46:38.000 More like a, like, kind of like this, but no, he's more like slinky.

00:46:44.000 Like, huh?

00:46:44.000 Like, is that a little bit of a tea?

00:46:45.000 He's almost like a vampire.

00:46:46.000 Oh.

00:46:47.000 Hmm, that counts souls.

00:46:49.000 So, I guess I ignored you when you said you thought you had COVID.

00:46:52.000 Gavin had a negative test, but still claims COVID.

00:46:56.000 Yes.

00:46:56.000 Three, I clearly remember losing my taste, smell twice as a child from a cold flu.

00:47:02.000 Dude, two and three are the same.

00:47:04.000 You can put those together.

00:47:05.000 Four, so many people that are against the system tyranny are saying we should all relax because vax passports aren't such a big deal. 0.99

00:47:13.000 When did you lose your balls? 0.99

00:47:15.000 We'll get to that. 0.99

00:47:17.000 Five, the vaccines do not protect against variants and are only effective for a few months.

00:47:21.000 Yep, it's like a flu shot.

00:47:23.000 Six, if you didn't realize that there will only be more social unrest going forward due to these mandates, you have an IQ of 48, which I think, I'm not sure you can feed yourself with an IQ of 48 and are what some doctors would call mentally retarded. 0.99

00:47:39.000 Thank you. 0.74

00:47:40.000 That's from Justin.

00:47:42.000 And I responded to Justin because I've gone through these emails already and I wanted to make sure that you didn't get any duds.

00:47:49.000 And I said to Justin, just curious what you've sacrificed in this fight against tyranny.

00:47:53.000 Did you lose your business?

00:47:54.000 Have you ever built a business bigger than a lemonade stand?

00:47:56.000 No. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Okay, then shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:47:58.000 I'm obviously against the vaccine passports. 1.00

00:48:01.000 I'm obviously against this tyranny, all that stuff. 0.99

00:48:05.000 All I'm saying is we cannot be shitting on these local businesses who are going bankrupt under this bullshit for not fighting back hard enough. 0.98

00:48:17.000 They're in the worst that, like, they were just shut down entirely for so long that they're probably just, they'll do anything to stay open. 0.99

00:48:24.000 These poor people. 0.99

00:48:24.000 They're not pussies. 0.99

00:48:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:26.000 You are. 1.00

00:48:28.000 Gavin Rye guy.

00:48:31.000 Make babies, okay?

00:48:35.000 13 weeks and three days.

00:48:36.000 This baby is due to G-O-M-L. 1.00

00:48:37.000 No joke.

00:48:38.000 I've been watching from the start.

00:48:39.000 Was single.

00:48:40.000 No responsibility.

00:48:41.000 Continuing to party for too long. 0.99

00:48:43.000 Got my shit together and now a baby on the way. 0.99

00:48:46.000 Start college in a couple weeks. 0.97

00:48:48.000 Decent job.

00:48:49.000 This is from a guy in Hertfordshire, which ironically is where I was born.

00:48:55.000 I was born in Hitchen in Stevenage, which is all Hertfordshire.

00:49:00.000 You're not pulling up the picture of his little baby?

00:49:03.000 Oh, let's see.

00:49:05.000 Isn't it nuts how people say, don't say my name on the air?

00:49:09.000 How'd you lose your job?

00:49:10.000 Oh, I was caught watching a show. 0.93

00:49:15.000 Was it Kitty Porn?

00:49:17.000 No, no, it was a political comedy show that is verboten because it's pro-Trump. 0.91

00:49:26.000 Look at that little guy.

00:49:27.000 Yep.

00:49:29.000 God, I love.

00:49:30.000 I want a baby again.

00:49:31.000 I guess I'm getting a baby, right?

00:49:33.000 Yeah.

00:49:34.000 I mean, I'm getting a baby.

00:49:35.000 You could hold my baby.

00:49:36.000 Yeah, I'm going to babysit it a lot.

00:49:38.000 That'd be awesome.

00:49:40.000 People are really mad that I threatened your child the other day.

00:49:44.000 I saw that.

00:49:46.000 But I'm still a first-time parent, so I'm still trying to gauge what's a line cross or what's not.

00:49:51.000 And I think that was a good test.

00:49:53.000 And we have a show here, people.

00:49:54.000 We have to be entertaining.

00:49:56.000 Yes, I'm not literally going to kill this child.

00:50:01.000 Gavin, on Chrissy's show, you mentioned that we will never have a genuine national divorce and split into two countries because the Civil War was so brutal.

00:50:08.000 I don't think the circumstances are comparable, he says.

00:50:10.000 The Civil War happened because the North wanted to maintain the Union and the South wanted to secede.

00:50:15.000 However, today I see people, I see possible alignment on the concept of a national divorce.

00:50:21.000 What would we have to fight over? 1.00

00:50:22.000 Give them whatever states they want as long as they fuck off. 1.00

00:50:26.000 Yeah, that's what I said. 1.00

00:50:28.000 I said we're not going to have bloodshed.

00:50:30.000 It's not going to be some war where we have to fight to the death for Texas.

00:50:34.000 They don't want Texas.

00:50:35.000 Although, as Tucker pointed out recently, I believe on Patrick Coffin's show, which is a good get, Patrick, they are injecting Afghan refugees and Haitian refugees and I'm sure future Mexican refugees into purple states in order to flip them blue. 0.98

00:50:59.000 20 million immigrants pouring in this country.

00:51:04.000 Right now, I think we have 30 million illegal Mexicans.

00:51:07.000 They're getting that number up, and that will mean that they can dominate all the swing states by injecting them with illegals and various immigrants. 0.99

00:51:17.000 New immigrants always vote Democrat. 1.00

00:51:20.000 Fuck knows why. 1.00

00:51:21.000 I guess they're stupid. 1.00

00:51:25.000 And that will mean Democrats rule forever. 1.00

00:51:27.000 So that's what they're going for right now.

00:51:29.000 And it's very disappointing.

00:51:32.000 I'm glad this came up.

00:51:34.000 Very important video.

00:51:35.000 Prosecutors lose fight to keep January 6th surveillance videos.

00:51:40.000 Look at this.

00:51:42.000 This is the worst thing to happen to America. 0.99

00:51:44.000 According to Matthew Dowd, who is an MSNBC guy who's now fucking Maria Shriver, I guess he's a necrophiliac. 0.99

00:51:52.000 Jesus Christ, she looks like she's from Tales from the Crypt. 0.98

00:51:56.000 Matthew Dowd said this was way worse than 9-11.

00:52:01.000 I don't know.

00:52:02.000 What one would you rather be in?

00:52:04.000 The 81st floor of Tower 1 or that guy?

00:52:14.000 They don't even know where they're going.

00:52:18.000 I was trying to pull up that song.

00:52:20.000 What is that song where there's a ballroom dance that goes that elegant ball music like? 0.84

00:52:42.000 Like, how do you find those songs?

00:52:44.000 I don't know.

00:52:44.000 Can't you like Shazam your own voice?

00:52:47.000 I don't think it works like that.

00:52:50.000 Check out this article from CNN's race deconstructed newsletter.

00:52:53.000 The title reminded me of your theory that the great American divorce basically proves it.

00:52:56.000 It's funny how they're shocked at normal people, blah, blah, blah.

00:52:58.000 So it's an article that CNN puts out.

00:53:02.000 Look how unprofessional they are. 0.99

00:53:04.000 This is people who don't give a shit about their site. 0.99

00:53:09.000 This is someone who doesn't look at their site the way an outsider would. 1.00

00:53:13.000 They just churn out the crap. 0.99

00:53:15.000 So go back to the top there. 0.99

00:53:17.000 A version of the story appeared in CNN's Race Deconstructed newsletter.

00:53:20.000 To get it in your inbox every week, sign up for free here.

00:53:23.000 Buckhead wants it. 0.99

00:53:24.000 So the first two sentences should be like bold and green or some shit. 0.99

00:53:31.000 In a box or something. 0.94

00:53:33.000 Anyway, that's just me as an old magazine guy getting pissed off.

00:53:37.000 But this article is about how Georgia wants to separate from Atlanta.

00:53:41.000 Atlanta is 60% black. 0.97

00:53:44.000 So that's racist if you want to separate from a black city. 0.99

00:53:51.000 Maybe.

00:53:53.000 But isn't there some culpability there? 0.97

00:53:56.000 Like, couldn't the angle be blacks ruined Atlanta? 1.00

00:53:58.000 And now no one wants anything to do with it?

00:54:01.000 AIU did a great video, now that I'm a censored.tv buff, about turning bleepanese.

00:54:07.000 And it's all these people in black people in Japan saying they hate America because America's racist and they're so glad to get out of there where they can be safe and everyone's nice there and treats them right.

00:54:22.000 And you're like, yeah, because you're a novelty. 0.97

00:54:26.000 The less blacks in a neighborhood, the more they're cherished. 1.00

00:54:30.000 Bad news, Japanese people are chronically dishonest to your face and they will pretend that you're the greatest thing that ever walked the earth and then when they're at home, they're like, fuck that guy. 1.00

00:54:41.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:54:42.000 Don't date their daughters if you really think you're being accepted.

00:54:45.000 Japanese people, if you are, if your parents are Korean or your grandparents are Korean and you're born there and your name's Uri Zukomoto, you still will not be considered Japanese because you're not genetically Japanese. 0.61

00:55:00.000 They are the kings of eugenics. 0.99

00:55:01.000 That's why they joined the Nazis, dumbass. 1.00

00:55:04.000 But this is definitely a video worth seeing because it's just this fucking constant whining and complaining. 1.00

00:55:12.000 And you're like, yeah, it was dangerous where you came from because blacks were going to kill you. 1.00

00:55:19.000 Blacks? 0.99

00:55:19.000 Where is a black person safer? 0.99

00:55:21.000 In a white neighborhood or a black neighborhood? 0.99

00:55:25.000 Oh my God. 0.95

00:55:25.000 White neighborhood for sure. 0.95

00:55:30.000 I mean, a while back, a baby monster called in and said, have you noticed, by the way, baby monster has finally passed the mustard?

00:55:37.000 It sure has.

00:55:38.000 I told you to have faith in me. 0.99

00:55:41.000 Oh, by the way, speaking of baby monster, Maddie was going to be here via Skype, but he feels like shit. 0.99

00:55:48.000 The operation went great. 0.99

00:55:50.000 Okay. 0.99

00:55:50.000 Shit, I'm sorry I didn't. 0.99

00:55:52.000 It took me an hour to say this. 0.99

00:55:55.000 But I was corresponding with him past few days, couple days.

00:55:59.000 He's been there two days.

00:56:00.000 He just got out.

00:56:01.000 He's at home now.

00:56:02.000 I said, do you want to Skype in?

00:56:04.000 And he said, no, I'm just going to rest. 0.99

00:56:05.000 I feel like shit. 0.99

00:56:06.000 Like, the drive from the hospital to his house was brutal. 1.00

00:56:10.000 Every bump was rough. 0.99

00:56:12.000 And we know this, by the way, from when Gigi Gorgeous's husband had her tits cut off. 1.00

00:56:18.000 And she said every bump on her wheelchair was incredibly painful. 0.99

00:56:22.000 But you know what's amazing?

00:56:23.000 He's got the laser thing that goes in his heart.

00:56:25.000 It scars the ventricle of his heart.

00:56:28.000 And with fire, like a laser, you're burning it.

00:56:33.000 And he has heartburn.

00:56:35.000 He literally burnt his heart.

00:56:37.000 And you feel it.

00:56:38.000 You feel like a hot burn in your tent.

00:56:42.000 So he's got a hole here, the hole's in his groin.

00:56:44.000 He's probably asleep right now.

00:56:45.000 I don't know if he's watching this, but we're glad that you're doing great, Baby Monster.

00:56:49.000 And the reason that I didn't really deal with it is because we found out that this is a routine operation a long time ago.

00:56:56.000 The guy who did it to him that day did three others.

00:57:01.000 I was never really worried.

00:57:05.000 Anyway, a while back, a baby monster called in and said that he was friends with Nuka Zeus.

00:57:09.000 He also mentioned that he was friends with Jaron Benton.

00:57:13.000 You probably don't care because you're not into rap, but Jaron Benton was a very prominent underground rapper before all the woke BS started up.

00:57:22.000 He still makes music, but it's kind of boring and race-focused now. 0.93

00:57:25.000 Nuka Zeus and Jaron Benton would be a really cool interview for the show.

00:57:29.000 Wait.

00:57:30.000 Oh, I thought they were the same person. 1.00

00:57:34.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:57:39.000 Some guy who knew Zooka Zeus also knew a rapper. 0.99

00:57:44.000 Thanks for the letter.

00:57:45.000 Sorry, I didn't mean to show that.

00:57:47.000 It's hard to not know a rapper.

00:57:50.000 Yeah, it's just talking.

00:57:59.000 That was boring. 1.00

00:58:02.000 Fuck China video drop. 1.00

00:58:05.000 Okay. 1.00

00:58:07.000 Downloading?

00:58:09.000 Oh?

00:58:10.000 Do you want to know what that?

00:58:12.000 Well, you know what I said? 1.00

00:58:15.000 Fuck China. 1.00

00:58:18.000 That's cool. 1.00

00:58:19.000 That could be our intro to the COVID.

00:58:23.000 Pretty good.

00:58:24.000 Daym no bueno on Twitter.

00:58:26.000 Unbelievably based.

00:58:28.000 Why did I click on this now?

00:58:29.000 Why did this make the cuts?

00:58:31.000 Oh, yeah, this is cool.

00:58:32.000 This has been going around.

00:58:33.000 So there's these OKCupid ads all over New York subways, and they are fingers in apples.

00:58:41.000 They're not very subtle at all. 0.99

00:58:43.000 People tonguing each other with one tongue, pansexual, anal sex. 1.00

00:58:48.000 Anything goes. 1.00

00:58:49.000 Go to OK Cupid if you want to fuck. 1.00

00:58:52.000 Not saying the actual word fuck. 1.00

00:58:53.000 But this based mom just goes, you know what? 1.00

00:58:57.000 I'm sick of this shit. 1.00

00:58:58.000 And started taking them all down. 1.00

00:59:12.000 This is propaganda.

00:59:14.000 Yeah.

00:59:14.000 This is normalizing.

00:59:15.000 Normalizing.

00:59:17.000 The next generation is.

00:59:19.000 Yeah.

00:59:21.000 Like, no one sees this.

00:59:22.000 No.

00:59:22.000 This is just.

00:59:23.000 TV told them not to get upset and wear the mask. 1.00

00:59:29.000 We're going to call the shit. 1.00

00:59:30.000 It's probably the Christian Korean, right? 1.00

00:59:32.000 Serious.

00:59:38.000 It'd be awesome if you all dressed like workers for the city. 0.99

00:59:41.000 You have like yellow vests on and a hard hat and some dirty khakis, boots, and then you just rip them the fuck down. 0.98

00:59:50.000 Dude, every time we go in the subway, it's like an assault on your ethics, on your morals. 0.95

00:59:55.000 It's like, what do they got up now? 0.98

00:59:57.000 And it's always like a black guy and a white guy kissing. 0.79

00:59:59.000 And you're like, I don't even know what they're doing. 1.00

01:00:00.000 I'm scared to ask about shit play. 0.99

01:00:02.000 Call your local doctor. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Look at that one.

01:00:06.000 I don't want my kids knowing what pansexual. 0.76

01:00:08.000 Dude, when I was a kid and I saw the album Sex Pistols, just that name alone, I was like, whoa. 0.97

01:00:13.000 I have a boner.

01:00:15.000 And I don't... 0.99

01:00:16.000 Like, it's a gun in sex. 1.00

01:00:18.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:00:20.000 Imagine seeing that. 1.00

01:00:34.000 This is probably good advertising for OK Cupid, though. 0.99

01:00:38.000 Shit, maybe they work at OK Cupid. 0.99

01:00:41.000 That's a deep breath. 1.00

01:00:42.000 Maybe they work at an ad agency.

01:00:44.000 And then they get the OK.

01:00:45.000 They look a little cool to be Puritans, don't they? 1.00

01:00:48.000 They work for Tinder, and they have even gayer ones, but they're like, I just don't like gross. 0.99

01:00:55.000 Today I thought back to when Gavin was shitfaced, guys, shit-faced is one word. 0.99

01:01:01.000 On the live show and said he would kill Ryan's wife and unborn baby if Ryan fucked up the calls. 1.00

01:01:08.000 I personally think that's too far. 0.99

01:01:09.000 And I think Ryan should have squared up with Gavin.

01:01:12.000 I.e., get fired, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:01:17.000 I guess he forgot to get in trouble.

01:01:19.000 I would knock my boss out if he were to say something like that to me.

01:01:23.000 Gavin, how would you have reacted if Ryan was a real man and wanted to fight you?

01:01:29.000 Now dissing me.

01:01:31.000 I love you more than a bird that has hurt me today. 1.00

01:01:34.000 If Ryan wanted to fight me for that joke about killing his unborn baby, I would say, calm the fuck down. 1.00

01:01:39.000 It's a joke. 1.00

01:01:40.000 Jesus Christ, sit down, sit down.

01:01:42.000 Then if he started a fight, I would fight him.

01:01:44.000 But I fought three dudes today.

01:01:45.000 I'm not that Puerto Rican.

01:01:47.000 I can have self-control.

01:01:48.000 Even Puerto Ricans are pretty... 1.00

01:01:50.000 I mean, if that was a black dude, though, oh, forget about it. 1.00

01:01:52.000 If you talk about throwing a sneaker in the fucking gutter, it's over, dude. 1.00

01:01:57.000 They just don't like disrespect. 0.99

01:01:59.000 Me, I could take some words.

01:02:02.000 I mean, it depends on the context. 0.84

01:02:04.000 If you're seriously sitting there insulting someone's child, and it has, you know, your daughter's a failure, blah, blah, blah, and she's fat or whatever, that's fighting words. 0.97

01:02:16.000 But when it's like, because I used to always say to Ryan, dude, I swear to God, if the Skype calls fuck up tonight, I'm going to not touch you. 1.00

01:02:23.000 I'm going to slowly kill everyone you love until you commit suicide. 1.00

01:02:29.000 And say it calmly. 1.00

01:02:30.000 And here's the joke is, when you say something so calmly and you're going through what you will do, the worst that thing is, because it's not in, there's no risk of it actually happening, is funnier.

01:02:42.000 And there's the joke. 0.93

01:02:43.000 By the way, you and Bobby Kelly and Anthony Kumia, that was fucking amazing. 0.98

01:02:47.000 It was a great show. 0.88

01:02:48.000 Did you see the comments on the site?

01:02:50.000 No.

01:02:50.000 Baby monsters are baby monsters.

01:02:54.000 They're monsters and they're babies.

01:02:56.000 Why? 0.98

01:02:56.000 First of all, they never heard of Bobby Kelly. 0.98

01:02:58.000 What?

01:02:58.000 Which is weird.

01:02:59.000 So they're not into comedy if you haven't heard of him.

01:03:01.000 The guy is, he's not new. 0.97

01:03:03.000 He's one of the godfathers of that fucking Patrice O'Neill, Bill Burr, obviously. 0.97

01:03:08.000 And Louis C.K., Boston comedy. 0.98

01:03:10.000 Yeah, he had a whole reality show with Dane Cook where they went on tour.

01:03:14.000 He's been around. 1.00

01:03:17.000 But they're like, who is this fat fuck? 1.00

01:03:20.000 Are you kidding? 1.00

01:03:20.000 Why won't he shut up? 1.00

01:03:22.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:24.000 You guys got on swimmingly.

01:03:26.000 Yeah, I've done his show before.

01:03:27.000 We met before.

01:03:28.000 He's scared of me now because of my rep, but yeah, he's a funny guy. 0.99

01:03:33.000 Yeah, but that was the first time I've seen a comic not be a pussy, like just sitting next to you and be like, oh, am I going to get in trouble with it? 1.00

01:03:41.000 And just had a great time. 0.99

01:03:42.000 Well, he did seem pretty worried, though, like when they said, we're going to look at the news, and you could hear him go, oh, God.

01:03:47.000 And then Anthony goes, just disavow.

01:03:49.000 Just disavow.

01:03:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:51.000 Hey, Gavin, I know you've been pretty openly against circumcision, so I thought you would find the story interesting.

01:03:56.000 During college, I interned at a circus that was owned by an Orthodox Jewish organization.

01:04:02.000 They insisted that all animals used in the show must be circumcised.

01:04:08.000 As weird as that sound, I found myself being placed on a team that had to circumcise elephants.

01:04:15.000 Jesus.

01:04:16.000 Safe to say, I quit that internship soon after. 0.99

01:04:19.000 The pay was garbage. 0.84

01:04:20.000 However, the tips were huge. 0.98

01:04:28.000 I guess I can stop Googling elephant circumcision now.

01:04:34.000 The tips were huge.

01:04:37.000 Do elephants have very big cocks? 0.96

01:04:39.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:04:40.000 They're ridiculous. 1.00

01:04:44.000 Because that's the kind of thing you say. 1.00

01:04:46.000 Like, my fucking cock's huge. 1.00

01:04:47.000 I have an elephant cock. 1.00

01:04:48.000 And then you look it up and they have tiny dicks. 1.00

01:04:51.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:04:51.000 Like, bears. 0.96

01:04:52.000 Bears' dicks are embarrassing. 0.99

01:04:55.000 If there's any bears watching, I don't mean Owen Benjamin. 0.99

01:04:58.000 Oh, dude.

01:04:59.000 I mean literal bears.

01:05:00.000 We've got a bear right around the corner here. 1.00

01:05:02.000 Shitty dick. 0.99

01:05:02.000 Bears. 0.99

01:05:03.000 Bears.

01:05:07.000 Joy Reed and the Missing White Woman Syndrome.

01:05:09.000 I'm supremely confident.

01:05:10.000 I'm supremely confident that if there was a black female kidnapped by a white male, it would be the story of the century. 0.98

01:05:16.000 Yes.

01:05:17.000 Movies would be made about it, and our children would read about it in the history books for generations.

01:05:21.000 Tomorrow on the show, I'm going to do a green screen about brutal black-on-white murders that got zero media attention.

01:05:30.000 And as I was going through the research, I discovered, of course, the Central Park Five, who are known on MSNBC as the exonerated five.

01:05:39.000 They were exonerated by the media.

01:05:41.000 They are guilty. 1.00

01:05:43.000 And that fucking woman, no one knows her name, including me, was beaten so severely that she now does seminars for neurologists on how a brain can rebuild itself when it's been smashed to smithereens. 1.00

01:06:02.000 No one talks about her, but everyone talks about those poor boys. 1.00

01:06:07.000 They were on their way to their violin lessons.

01:06:11.000 Much the chagrin of the media and their wettest, wildest fantasies, this never happens. 0.80

01:06:15.000 They don't like the optics of black men committing crime, no matter how heinous. 0.97

01:06:18.000 So the regular black-on-black kidnappings have no shot at reaching the headlines. 0.66

01:06:24.000 How do I know this happens regularly without any headlines?

01:06:27.000 The eyeball test on Amber Alerts hitting my phone show about a 100 to 1 ratio of missing black kids to missing white kids.

01:06:34.000 It's tragic on so many different levels, but I'll leave it for you to elaborate on.

01:06:38.000 I did elaborate on it. 0.84

01:06:40.000 I talked about how fucking awesome it would be if Joy Reed was a tenth of what she purports to be. 1.00

01:06:48.000 There's a huge hole in the media right now for real black reporting. 0.99

01:06:55.000 And if I did it, it would become, you know, the racist tower. 0.98

01:06:58.000 But if Joy Reed genuinely covered missing black girls, genuinely covered mass gang shootings, genuinely covered the race wars of South Central where Mexicans are murdering blacks. 1.00

01:07:14.000 Holy shit, wouldn't that be great? 1.00

01:07:18.000 And I'm not saying it has to be like blacks are fucking up and we need to check ourselves before our records. 1.00

01:07:23.000 She can continue with her tedious shit about systemic racism. 1.00

01:07:28.000 That's fine. 1.00

01:07:30.000 But like three black girls were stolen by a pimp named Big Daddy Faggot. 1.00

01:07:39.000 No, that's not his real name. 1.00

01:07:42.000 And he has a history of doing this and blah, blah, blah.

01:07:45.000 He's ruined their lives.

01:07:48.000 There was a magazine called Feds.

01:07:51.000 I don't know if it's still around, but you'd buy it at the subway stations in New York.

01:07:55.000 Finally, every dimension of the street.

01:07:58.000 And it was what I'm pushing right now. 0.96

01:08:00.000 It was interviews with mobsters and gangsters and drug dealers and why this guy was killed and what happened with Terrence Gangster Williams and fucking Lance Furtado. 0.91

01:08:13.000 The Furtado brothers supplied the drugs to some of Queen's largest drug dealers. 0.96

01:08:17.000 I mean, she says no one talks about blacks.

01:08:22.000 Well, there's no, we don't have many Gabby petitos in the black community, especially when it comes to missing ones, but there's plenty of spooky stories.

01:08:31.000 Let's hear about it, Joy.

01:08:33.000 It would be a joy.

01:08:41.000 I think we're ready to start taking some calls.

01:08:43.000 Gazals, Gazals, Gizales.

01:08:46.000 Jesus, people started emailing like crazy once we started doing the show.

01:08:50.000 Oh, thanks for, yeah.

01:08:51.000 Somebody was like Por Una Cabeza.

01:08:53.000 That is the song.

01:08:54.000 The first song I was saying, the Tango song.

01:08:56.000 Second one?

01:08:57.000 Good luck finding that one.

01:08:59.000 What happened to Maddie?

01:09:00.000 I know you said he had a bad prior reputation, but I find him to be a delightful young man.

01:09:04.000 Yeah, Maddie's not going anywhere, folks. 0.99

01:09:07.000 I love Maddie.

01:09:08.000 And he's a great addition to the show, especially when we talk about crime and guns, two things I know very little about.

01:09:14.000 He's a crucial expert to have on.

01:09:18.000 Taking some calls.

01:09:21.000 You are on the air. 1.00

01:09:24.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

01:09:26.000 You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00

01:09:29.000 Hey, why doesn't we get two things?

01:09:31.000 You have one thing.

01:09:32.000 Thank you for calling.

01:09:33.000 It's great hearing from you.

01:09:34.000 Bye-bye.

01:09:35.000 All right, next call.

01:09:37.000 Wait, look at this.

01:09:38.000 Got a letter from a Glaswegian who's been watching this. 0.93

01:09:42.000 Gav, pussing yourself is nothing. 1.00

01:09:44.000 A shitey-whitey, shut yourself in a throw up, is a rite of passage for a Glaswegian. 1.00

01:09:50.000 That's a level of mad weight one should try to achieve at least once. 1.00

01:09:54.000 Oh, mad with it.

01:09:56.000 Like mad with it, crazy with it.

01:09:58.000 By the way, next time you're back in Glasgow, you should help the Potstal in town, the Brazenhead, IRA bar and the Gorbals, or Hergate's on the south side.

01:10:08.000 Old man pubs you'd love, by the way, there.

01:10:11.000 Cheers, Sammy.

01:10:18.000 I grew up.

01:10:19.000 Wait, he's got another letter.

01:10:20.000 He's attached to this.

01:10:21.000 I grew up in Glasgow and plenty of opportunity to act like that around cops.

01:10:24.000 And it just never, ever happened.

01:10:26.000 If you're caught, you're caught.

01:10:27.000 Act sensibly and it'll turn out best for you.

01:10:31.000 And then he says, have a look at this classic situation.

01:10:34.000 I feel like it has all the boxes tucked. 1.00

01:10:37.000 Useless, tiny female cop doing absolutely fuck all. 1.00

01:10:41.000 Totally compliant and not aggressive, black suspect. 1.00

01:10:44.000 Ultra-woke rich kid from Vancouver.

01:10:46.000 Nothing to be angry about.

01:10:47.000 Oh, we've probably seen this.

01:10:48.000 Is this the bicycle incident?

01:10:51.000 What was the title of that again?

01:10:53.000 It just came in.

01:10:54.000 It's called Pissing Yourself is Nothing.

01:10:56.000 Oh, gotcha.

01:10:56.000 Okay.

01:10:57.000 Show history.

01:10:58.000 There we go.

01:10:59.000 There's a boy.

01:11:06.000 Oh, yeah, I remember this.

01:11:07.000 Oh, yeah, I remember this.

01:11:11.000 He sent that in June. 1.00

01:11:15.000 What am I being arrested for, faggot? 1.00

01:11:27.000 Okay, let's go. 1.00

01:11:32.000 CJ.

01:11:35.000 CJ.

01:11:36.000 What's up, CJ?

01:11:41.000 Can you hear us, CJ?

01:11:46.000 Oh, can we turn your uh my road mic on?

01:11:50.000 Yes, it's on.

01:11:51.000 It's on.

01:11:52.000 Okay.

01:11:52.000 This could be a CJ thing.

01:11:54.000 Okay, I'm gonna go get a beer.

01:11:56.000 Let's get the next game. 0.88

01:11:57.000 Jeff, talking about gay stuff. 0.87

01:12:00.000 Jeff, you got some gay stuff you want to talk about. 0.95

01:12:10.000 I don't believe this. 0.97

01:12:20.000 I did.

01:12:22.000 Oh, I know why. 0.97

01:12:22.000 I'm a retard. 0.97

01:12:23.000 Okay. 0.97

01:12:23.000 It was one click away. 0.97

01:12:24.000 Ready to connect.

01:12:25.000 Click connect.

01:12:27.000 Okay, so we're doing this thing without Skype from now on.

01:12:31.000 And so now we're good.

01:12:31.000 I know we're now.

01:12:33.000 Okay.

01:12:35.000 See, that little thing had to happen there.

01:12:36.000 What's happening?

01:12:37.000 You hadn't pushed.

01:12:38.000 I had to connect to the deal.

01:12:40.000 I wait till the last minute because it does charge us.

01:12:44.000 Yeah, don't worry about the 37 cents, okay?

01:12:47.000 We'd rather have a show that works. 1.00

01:12:50.000 It's like when you turned off the AC to save money, I was like, we don't pay for the AC, fuckhead. 1.00

01:12:55.000 Jeff. 1.00

01:12:56.000 Yeah, Ryan, now I hear you.

01:12:58.000 Cool.

01:13:01.000 What's up, dude?

01:13:06.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:13:07.000 Yeah?

01:13:10.000 The phones are all messed up, and I think I know a lot.

01:13:14.000 Very funny.

01:13:15.000 Okay.

01:13:16.000 What's your question?

01:13:19.000 Gavin.

01:13:20.000 Yes?

01:13:21.000 How often do you poo yourself? 0.95

01:13:25.000 I probably shart my pants once a two months about.

01:13:31.000 Well, because I'm a doctor at 40.

01:13:36.000 Hey, baby.

01:13:38.000 And I'm on the same path in life as you, drinking too much.

01:13:42.000 Yeah.

01:13:43.000 And I'm worried I'm going to get to that stage because I got the bowel movements.

01:13:47.000 What would you tell your younger self if you were at 40 right now?

01:13:51.000 I don't know.

01:13:52.000 Stick to beer.

01:13:54.000 Avoid.

01:13:55.000 I do.

01:13:55.000 Yeah, well, you'll be fine then.

01:13:57.000 I'm at the point now where my farts, I have to, it's sort of like skateboarding.

01:14:01.000 Like I feel it coming.

01:14:02.000 I'm like, is this trustworthy?

01:14:04.000 Is this trustworthy?

01:14:05.000 And then I'm like, yep, we're good.

01:14:08.000 But it's delicate every time.

01:14:11.000 Yeah, right?

01:14:12.000 And then how do you avoid the divorce?

01:14:13.000 You know, I threw up in bed one time and my wife almost messed me. 1.00

01:14:17.000 How do you shit the bed a couple times or piss it? 0.98

01:14:19.000 I've never... 0.99

01:14:20.000 You got to do some real sweet stuff. 0.99

01:14:22.000 I've shit the bed like one drop in Jamaica once in my life. 1.00

01:14:28.000 And I got rid of the sheets right away. 0.98

01:14:29.000 That wasn't an issue. 1.00

01:14:31.000 As far as wetting the bed, it fucking sucks. 0.99

01:14:33.000 But the secret is you get a king, right? 0.99

01:14:36.000 And you get a sort of a, it's not a plastic sheet, but it's an impermeable membrane sheet.

01:14:42.000 And then you get up in the middle of the night and you grab six towels.

01:14:48.000 You lay the towel down, you lie on it, the towel absorbs it all because the moisture can't go down through that sheet you have.

01:14:55.000 Then you throw that towel under the bed, then new towel.

01:14:59.000 And six towels later, it'll be morning.

01:15:01.000 There'll be zero P in the mattress.

01:15:03.000 You will have sucked it all up with the towels. 0.90

01:15:06.000 And now you've got to figure out a time to wash towels.

01:15:09.000 Because if your wife comes downstairs and you're like, hi, honey, just washing towels as I'm want to do, that's not going to work. 1.00

01:15:16.000 You don't wash towels.

01:15:17.000 Doing the laundry, babe.

01:15:18.000 Doing the laundry.

01:15:19.000 I'm trying to help you out.

01:15:21.000 Yeah, that's not going to work. 0.79

01:15:23.000 And towels suck, too, because they're so big. 0.83

01:15:26.000 So you wash them. 0.63

01:15:27.000 You're going to need like a good four or five hour stint. 0.97

01:15:30.000 But I find a good time to do that is, you know, your wife, if you got kids, she's fucking exhausted by 9 p.m. 0.96

01:15:36.000 You're not tired at all.

01:15:37.000 Now you got 9 till 1 to go on a towel spree, washing them up, and then you just neatly fold them and hide them back where the towels go. 0.99

01:15:46.000 Dude, my wife, before COVID, she could smell fucking piss if you put a drop on the toilet, dude. 1.00

01:15:53.000 There's no way I'm going to get away with that. 1.00

01:15:55.000 Yes, you are, because it's not normal piss. 0.76

01:15:57.000 When you wet the bed, it's just water.

01:16:00.000 It's not yellow.

01:16:03.000 You've got to really stick it.

01:16:05.000 And say you didn't get it 100%.

01:16:07.000 Another thing to do, you get an iron and you lay out stuff on the, you find the border of your stain, of your wet spot, and you put things on it, like a hat and your glasses and whatever.

01:16:22.000 So now you have the area marked off, right?

01:16:25.000 And then you take an iron, you get it nice and hot, and you push down, push down like a good six, seven inches with the iron.

01:16:34.000 Don't let it stay in one spot too much.

01:16:36.000 You're going to burn it.

01:16:37.000 And you'll see this steam will come up. 0.54

01:16:40.000 That's piss. 0.71

01:16:41.000 And you're inhaling hot piss, which was my friend Blake's band for a while in Guelph, Ontario, hot piss.

01:16:50.000 But you steam it out, and that'll also help if the towel thing didn't work. 1.00

01:16:54.000 But don't get caught.

01:16:56.000 As Krass say, if you choose to stray from the path that you've been taught, don't expect help and don't get caught. 0.98

01:17:02.000 And if you think that you don't get a lot of blowjobs when you fart in front of your wife, you ain't seen nothing yet. 0.99

01:17:08.000 Wetting the bed is blowjob kryptonite. 0.99

01:17:13.000 Dude, I'm a lifelong Krass fan, and I've learned long ago how to grab one butt cheek and pull it apart and snuck my farts out. 0.99

01:17:22.000 But Gavin, thanks for calling.

01:17:23.000 Thanks for calling.

01:17:24.000 Wait, I didn't call you.

01:17:26.000 You called that guy?

01:17:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:27.000 That's fucking weird. 0.99

01:17:28.000 Hey, man, why didn't you call? 0.98

01:17:31.000 We should just start calling.

01:17:32.000 When people subscribe, do they have to include their phone number?

01:17:36.000 I don't think so, but they should.

01:17:37.000 Yeah, we should have a Thursday where we just call people.

01:17:40.000 Yeah.

01:17:41.000 Hey, man, how come you're not watching the show?

01:17:43.000 I saw some guy. 1.00

01:17:44.000 The fucking Mets were in it back before they really shit the bed. 1.00

01:17:48.000 This was like a month ago. 1.00

01:17:50.000 And they were in the 12th inning, in extra innings.

01:17:53.000 And I'm in New York City on the Upper West Side.

01:17:56.000 Some guys were in a Mets hat.

01:17:57.000 And I go, what are you doing?

01:17:59.000 I was Running to a bar to see the end of the game.

01:18:02.000 I just left it from a different bar.

01:18:04.000 So I was whipping from bar to bar during commercials so I wouldn't miss the game.

01:18:08.000 And he goes, What do you mean?

01:18:09.000 I go, The Mets.

01:18:11.000 12th inning.

01:18:12.000 12 innings. 1.00

01:18:13.000 We're kicking their ass. 1.00

01:18:15.000 And he's like, Oh, yeah, I'll check it. 1.00

01:18:16.000 He just liked the hat.

01:18:18.000 Jesus.

01:18:20.000 I'm not a poser.

01:18:24.000 What do we got?

01:18:24.000 CJ.

01:18:27.000 Or something.

01:18:29.000 You guys hear me?

01:18:30.000 Yep.

01:18:32.000 Yo, you know, the first thing I wanted to say was, Ryan, I don't know what Gavin's talking about.

01:18:37.000 Whenever he says it's blurry for your cam, it's not blurry from what I could see.

01:18:42.000 I think it's all right.

01:18:45.000 The second thing I wanted to say was...

01:18:48.000 Yeah, Pee-Wee is way sharper than you. 0.91

01:18:52.000 Pee-wee and Billy Bologna.

01:18:57.000 Wait, what'd you say, dude?

01:18:58.000 CJ?

01:19:00.000 Whatever you're seeing, I'm not seeing.

01:19:02.000 He looks clear to me.

01:19:03.000 You know, my son has a friend named CJ, and I call him Siege.

01:19:09.000 Does anyone ever call you Siege?

01:19:12.000 No, no, no.

01:19:12.000 My name's Hazy.

01:19:14.000 Oh, that's probably why.

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:17.000 Nobody calls you Siege at all.

01:19:19.000 But what I really wanted to call about is what you were saying about Joy Reed before is like, it never really struck me, but you're so right. 0.99

01:19:26.000 That bitch doesn't give a fuck about anybody. 1.00

01:19:30.000 She doesn't give a shit about black people. 1.00

01:19:31.000 She doesn't give a fuck about Americans. 1.00

01:19:33.000 Like, she really is. 1.00

01:19:34.000 She doesn't give a shit about anybody. 0.99

01:19:36.000 And like when you were talking about it earlier this week, it's so true, though. 0.99

01:19:39.000 It finally hit me. 0.99

01:19:40.000 She doesn't give a fuck about anybody. 0.99

01:19:41.000 And it doesn't have to dominate her. 0.98

01:19:42.000 I understand. 0.99

01:19:43.000 You might lose ratings if your entire show was like, here's a black girl who was gang raped and they chopped her head off and threw it in the sea. 0.68

01:19:50.000 So you can do your mainstream stuff, your Bobby Petito and your border thing that you have to cover.

01:19:56.000 But like have a segment at the end of the show called Don't Forget About Me or something.

01:20:03.000 And it's about a major shooting that went off in Chicago and killed a four-year-old boy who was coming home from school.

01:20:12.000 Like I guess it's a downer.

01:20:14.000 Maybe that's why they don't do it.

01:20:16.000 But just make it a segment.

01:20:17.000 And then she says, and she doesn't have to say, we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves, but just include it.

01:20:25.000 Because no one else is covering that.

01:20:27.000 It's a huge hole. 1.00

01:20:28.000 And she's such a fucking poser-rich bitch, Harvard cunt. 1.00

01:20:32.000 You know what she took at Harvard? 1.00

01:20:34.000 She took movies.

01:20:35.000 Ooh, that must have been tough.

01:20:41.000 Sorry, I'm late.

01:20:42.000 I was watching E.T. All right, thanks for calling.

01:20:46.000 Did he also say thanks for calling?

01:20:49.000 Maybe that's going to become the new thing.

01:20:50.000 It's becoming a thing.

01:20:52.000 Let's see.

01:20:54.000 301, you're on the line.

01:20:56.000 Good afternoon, guys.

01:21:00.000 Most underrated job ever.

01:21:04.000 Gavin, I think that the ideas that you've been espousing back in the days of Tamara Holder are actually underpinning the Me Too movement.

01:21:11.000 If I can just kind of lay this out for you.

01:21:12.000 So women understand that they've been ripped off through sexual empowerment, through this idea that sexuality is worth nothing, hookup culture, you know, own it, no slut shaming. 1.00

01:21:21.000 They've been ripped off because a very, very small percentage of men at the very top get all the sex without any of the commitment because women want commitment, men want sex. 0.88

01:21:29.000 So they know that they've been ripped off, but rather than concede that, oh, the sexual empowerment movement was a mistake, they want to punish men for pursuing them sexually callously in that way.

01:21:40.000 So Aziz Ansari, Chris Delia, Louisa Kay, what they're doing is punishing aggressive male sexuality, which while not illegal is out of line with the natural order, which is women using their sexuality as a currency to get marriage and commitment and family. 0.96

01:21:55.000 So I just wanted to lay that out for you.

01:21:57.000 Yeah, I think that's a good point.

01:21:58.000 And I don't think it's premeditated.

01:22:02.000 There's no logic to it. 1.00

01:22:03.000 It's just like, fuck you. 1.00

01:22:05.000 Like they've been fucked over. 1.00

01:22:07.000 You know how you're grumpy when you're hungry and you're irrational and you call ADT and you say, my cameras suck. 0.99

01:22:15.000 And to do so would also acknowledge that there are fundamental biological differences between men and women, and that would obliterate their entire, you know, woke ideology.

01:22:24.000 So rather than make any concessions there, you know what, men and women are different. 0.96

01:22:27.000 Females have different priorities. 1.00

01:22:29.000 Sexuality is different for women. 0.99

01:22:31.000 It's just like, no, it's all men's fault. 0.98

01:22:32.000 Let's just punish men and create this new world, tear it all down, just like Antifa, so they can succeed within the new world order. 0.99

01:22:38.000 And it's not just making them a costume bag for our cum. 0.99

01:22:42.000 It's also this thing of you date a woman at like 27. 0.98

01:22:46.000 You date her for three, four years.

01:22:48.000 She's 31.

01:22:50.000 Then you're cheating on her for a year. 0.92

01:22:51.000 You got her a dog, by the way, to appease her maternal instincts. 0.58

01:22:55.000 The whole thing's over at like 32.

01:22:58.000 Now, in the old days, they go, you took the best years of her life. 1.00

01:23:01.000 What the fuck have you done? 1.00

01:23:02.000 You asshole? 1.00

01:23:03.000 You're going to get beat up by her brother or something. 1.00

01:23:06.000 Now it's just like age is nothing.

01:23:08.000 Babies aren't a thing. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Ovaries don't exist. 1.00

01:23:11.000 So you can destroy a woman. 1.00

01:23:14.000 Basically rip her ovaries out and throw them in the garbage by dating her from late 20s and dumping her early 30s. 1.00

01:23:20.000 And there's no stigma. 0.99

01:23:22.000 There's no ramification.

01:23:24.000 There's no nothing.

01:23:25.000 And then you go back and you date another 27-year-old. 0.99

01:23:28.000 And you keep just burning these women's ovaries out and throwing them in the garbage. 1.00

01:23:33.000 And there's no comeuppance. 0.98

01:23:36.000 Yeah, and that's the Mark Maron example. 0.98

01:23:38.000 And then there's like the Chris DeLee example of just touring college campuses and just fucking young girls and not really, which, you know, that's a man's prerogative. 0.94

01:23:46.000 But at a certain point, women are going to say, you know what? 1.00

01:23:48.000 Fuck this. 1.00

01:23:49.000 This is enough. 1.00

01:23:49.000 We actually want different things. 1.00

01:23:51.000 And it's just a total fuck you, dad. 0.99

01:23:52.000 It's not like based in any form of logic. 0.99

01:23:55.000 But that I think is what's explaining a lot of the Me Too movement.

01:23:58.000 Yeah, absolutely.

01:23:59.000 Thanks for calling. 1.00

01:24:00.000 Fucking lots of people that you don't know is for faggots. 1.00

01:24:06.000 So, hey, Vince Neal and Motley Crew, when you were doing girls, girls, girls, it does seem really cool from afar. 1.00

01:24:16.000 And when I was a teenager, I thought, wow, Motley Crew, they get tons of pussy. 1.00

01:24:21.000 But as an adult who's fucked a bunch of people and then grew up and then had a loving wife who I fucked last night, I go, I don't even, it's gone beyond sad. 1.00

01:24:33.000 It's fag. 1.00

01:24:34.000 You're a faggot. 1.00

01:24:38.000 And that's sad. 1.00

01:24:39.000 Fags are sad. 1.00

01:24:41.000 I mean, all my wife's faggot friends have dumped her for marrying a Nazi, but before Trump, they didn't give a shit. 1.00

01:24:49.000 And I would hang out with them all the time. 1.00

01:24:51.000 They were my neighbors upstate.

01:24:53.000 And they'd be like, have you ever had a threesome?

01:24:55.000 And I go, yeah, I've had a couple.

01:24:57.000 I don't know.

01:24:58.000 I said what I always say about threesomes, which is, it's great for your spank bank, but the actual act is like running around a party with a clipboard being like, are you guys okay?

01:25:07.000 Okay, the shakes are coming out soon, and we're going to have confetti.

01:25:10.000 And I don't know.

01:25:11.000 You're a party planner. 1.00

01:25:12.000 And he goes, threesomes are for losers. 0.99

01:25:14.000 We have eightsoms. 1.00

01:25:16.000 And I was like, wait a minute, eightsoms?

01:25:18.000 Dude, how many like feet are there?

01:25:22.000 16 feet?

01:25:24.000 That's what, 160 toes?

01:25:26.000 Just like everywhere?

01:25:28.000 Like, what?

01:25:29.000 How much jizz is there?

01:25:31.000 This much? 0.77

01:25:36.000 Shake makes me want to take Charles Atlas. 0.99

01:25:43.000 This is Me Too shit that I just saw yesterday about James Franco. 0.98

01:25:49.000 They just show his reaction while they're all taking turns talking about how gross it is to use your fame, which is like, okay, it's gross, but it's not illegal. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Oh, look at that shit. 1.00

01:26:04.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:26:05.000 Isn't that nuts?

01:26:06.000 Do we all agree with that, James? 1.00

01:26:09.000 He's like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:26:10.000 Well, another thing I'll say about people like James Franco is men are only as loyal as their opportunities. 1.00

01:26:17.000 When men have pussy thrown at them, what are they going to do? 1.00

01:26:22.000 Like, I know I sound like I'm contradicting myself. 1.00

01:26:24.000 It is a pathetic lifestyle, and it's nothing to look up to. 0.90

01:26:27.000 But I understand how they end up like that. 0.97

01:26:29.000 When I used to hang out with Johnny Knoxville, he would have a lineup of women lining up like 13 women. 1.00

01:26:39.000 And he'd have a notepad and he'd be scheduling in when to fuck them. 0.98

01:26:47.000 He'd be like, all right, well, I have to go back on Thursday to LA. 0.98

01:26:52.000 But I could do Wednesday from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.

01:27:00.000 Anyway, by the way, Nuka Zeus is live right now.

01:27:03.000 And I've asked him if he'd like to come on.

01:27:07.000 I don't think he answered.

01:27:11.000 He's hanging out with some zombies.

01:27:13.000 I told him I was going to DM him the info.

01:27:15.000 But if everybody, you know, if you have a spare phone open or something, and you go into this little thing and you say, yo, go on this guy's show.

01:27:24.000 See if you can make it happen.

01:27:25.000 He asked me for a bunch of money.

01:27:26.000 You know what's annoying?

01:27:28.000 When guys are wiggery like that, you want to say, yo, I've hung out with that dude. 1.00

01:27:31.000 And when he talks to black people, they get totally turned off and they prefer guys like me who shake their hand normal and don't try to act black. 0.69

01:27:39.000 And I wish that were true, but it's not. 0.72

01:27:41.000 No. 0.94

01:27:42.000 No, they like the wigger guy better. 1.00

01:27:44.000 They understand it.

01:27:45.000 Yeah.

01:27:45.000 More.

01:27:46.000 I freaked them out.

01:27:48.000 Okay, let's see.

01:27:50.000 We've got Ethan.

01:27:53.000 Ethan.

01:27:55.000 Is this anything?

01:27:58.000 Is this anything?

01:28:01.000 Just doing anything.

01:28:02.000 So Biggs and Ethan had their hearing on Tuesday.

01:28:07.000 And yeah, I called in.

01:28:10.000 I was able to listen to some of it.

01:28:12.000 The judge said that the jury selects going to be May 18th of 2022.

01:28:20.000 So what does that mean? 0.97

01:28:22.000 Does that mean you can't be in solitary for a fucking year before this trial begins or what? 0.98

01:28:30.000 Sounds like it. 0.99

01:28:30.000 Didn't they have their bail denied? 0.99

01:28:33.000 The idea of posting bail?

01:28:37.000 I didn't hear them talk anything about that.

01:28:40.000 The judge said that they have another thing set up for a couple weeks from now where he's going to make the final decision on whether they're going to send him home pre-trial.

01:28:50.000 But just the way that everything's been rolling out up until this point, it doesn't sound like that's a hot possibility. 0.98

01:28:57.000 So yeah, I just wanted to update, you know, throw something in their commentary or send them a letter because they're in a fucking shitty situation. 0.98

01:29:04.000 So. 0.97

01:29:05.000 Yeah, man, thanks for calling.

01:29:07.000 We should get their addresses up at the end of the show.

01:29:10.000 Oh, yeah, we got those.

01:29:11.000 Oh, we do?

01:29:11.000 Yep.

01:29:12.000 Okay. 1.00

01:29:13.000 What a fucking catastrophe. 1.00

01:29:16.000 Look at that footage and then think of someone in prison in the hole, in the shoe, for six months for that. 0.99

01:29:31.000 And the rationale is of the left, Amy Siskind, the White House, is that their plan was to storm the Bastilles, right? 0.98

01:29:44.000 Go in there, murder politicians, drag Pence out, and hang him at the guillotine. 0.98

01:29:51.000 Shouldn't you show that the guillotine doesn't work? 1.00

01:29:54.000 Like, there's no way that was a functioning guillotine. 0.99

01:29:58.000 Hang him, right? 1.00

01:29:59.000 He's decapitated. 1.00

01:30:01.000 And then start a new government.

01:30:05.000 New education, new energy, new infrastructure.

01:30:09.000 The states might even change their names.

01:30:12.000 Maybe Texas will be called Trumpus. 1.00

01:30:16.000 Are you fucking seven years old? 1.00

01:30:19.000 I feel that insults my eight-year-old to even say that. 1.00

01:30:24.000 It's just a, it's such a juvenile.

01:30:27.000 I mean, it used to be the left and the right.

01:30:29.000 And the left said, look, some people need help.

01:30:32.000 They need government assistance.

01:30:33.000 They're going through a rocky time.

01:30:35.000 And the right would say, man, I believe in tough love.

01:30:38.000 I think that they'll get too used to that aid and they won't pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

01:30:44.000 Those are rational arguments.

01:30:46.000 I see both sides of those.

01:30:48.000 I like that kind of a debate.

01:30:50.000 In fact, I want to get into it with someone and let's get specific about, you know, violating food stamps and using EBT cards at strip clubs and that kind Of stuff and the shattering of the black family. 1.00

01:31:03.000 It's getting intellectual here, right?

01:31:05.000 Not anymore. 0.98

01:31:06.000 Now it's Nazis, white nationalists. 1.00

01:31:11.000 I mean, I feel fucking stupid even saying these words, but they're part of the American vernacular. 1.00

01:31:17.000 They come out of AOC's mouth on a regular basis. 0.99

01:31:19.000 They come out of Joy Reid's mouth.

01:31:21.000 Joy Reed's pinned tweet right now is that the Republican Party is knowingly allowing a white nationalist movement to take over this country.

01:31:38.000 What?

01:31:39.000 A white national... 0.75

01:31:41.000 What? 0.99

01:31:42.000 Like, you mean send blacks back to Africa? 0.99

01:31:44.000 What about mulattoes? 0.99

01:31:46.000 What about Octoroons?

01:31:48.000 Do Koreans have to go back? 0.69

01:31:50.000 How?

01:31:51.000 Cruise ships? 0.99

01:31:53.000 What the fuck is it? 1.00

01:31:55.000 I realized recently that white nationalism just means not being ashamed of being white. 1.00

01:32:01.000 That's really what their definition is these days.

01:32:04.000 If you're not constantly self-flagellating, you go, we're kind of cool, actually.

01:32:08.000 We made some cool stuff.

01:32:12.000 Go look up Joy Reed's pin tweet.

01:32:15.000 If it's still her pin tweet, we are living in...

01:32:20.000 Clown world is way too flattering. 0.86

01:32:22.000 Retard world. 1.00

01:32:24.000 I wish there was a better word than retard. 1.00

01:32:27.000 Joy Reed tarred. 0.99

01:32:29.000 Reed-tard world. 1.00

01:32:35.000 Yep.

01:32:36.000 The Republican Party is currently and knowingly harboring a violent white nationalist insurgency against the United States.

01:32:44.000 That is her.

01:32:45.000 Nailed it.

01:32:46.000 Got it.

01:32:47.000 I want this to be the sentence that defines me.

01:32:54.000 This is not two intellectuals discussing how to best make society better for all of us.

01:33:03.000 Those days are gone.

01:33:05.000 Now it's sane people who love this country, warts and all, and accept that we made some mistakes, but we're doing pretty darn good and let's move forward. 0.99

01:33:16.000 And absolute fucking retards. 1.00

01:33:20.000 Evil, vindictive, subhuman retards. 1.00

01:33:25.000 I'm not exaggerating. 1.00

01:33:27.000 Like, Joy Reid is garbage. 0.99

01:33:31.000 Oh, you said subhuman actual retards, and I just thought that you wanted me to pull this up again. 0.99

01:33:35.000 Yes, sir.

01:33:37.000 I paid him $5. 1.00

01:33:38.000 You're giving away hot shit. 1.00

01:33:40.000 You're giving away shit these motherfuckers can use. 1.00

01:33:43.000 Everybody's telling him to jump on There's a Bird Which is the Bald Eagle. 1.00

01:33:47.000 How does he have friends?

01:33:48.000 And I think I know why. 0.77

01:33:52.000 I'm going to that nigga Zook Nuka's house tonight. 1.00

01:33:55.000 Oh, that's that white dude who took them pills? 0.96

01:33:57.000 Yeah, yeah, he's a good nigga, though. 1.00

01:33:58.000 He's a good guy.

01:33:59.000 I know.

01:34:00.000 I'm sure he is. 1.00

01:34:01.000 I'm freaked out by his fucking weird skin. 1.00

01:34:04.000 Yeah, yeah, you get over that. 0.99

01:34:06.000 I used to hang out with Sammy Sosa.

01:34:08.000 It takes about a day.

01:34:12.000 Sammy Sosa, of course, the black baseball player who is now an albino. 0.86

01:34:18.000 He bleached himself to death. 0.94

01:34:20.000 No, not to death.

01:34:23.000 How do people talk to...

01:34:25.000 Pull up Sammy Sosa.

01:34:27.000 How do you sit and have a beer with Sammy Sosa?

01:34:33.000 Especially if you start getting a buzz. 1.00

01:34:35.000 I'd be like, there's got to be a moment where you go, dude, what the fuck? 0.99

01:34:41.000 What have you done? 1.00

01:34:44.000 It's as crazy as facial tattoos.

01:34:47.000 Look at him.

01:34:48.000 98 was the year that marked my life.

01:34:51.000 Mark and I did such a great job that year.

01:34:53.000 That's not him in his worst either. 0.85

01:34:56.000 He was dark black. 0.64

01:34:58.000 Look at that.

01:34:59.000 The internet is going insane over these photos of Sammy Sosa with whitened skin, but what exactly is going on?

01:35:07.000 Hey guys, it's Emily for Hollywood Life with your most necessary story of the day.

01:35:11.000 And Sammy Sosa is one of the greatest home run hitters in MLB history.

01:35:14.000 Sosa and Mark Maguire are credited with saving baseball when in 1998 they both went head-to-head for the next one.

01:35:20.000 What do you think about her?

01:35:21.000 She seems like a bunny boiler, huh? 1.00

01:35:24.000 Bunny Boiler?

01:35:25.000 Yeah.

01:35:26.000 That's from the movie Fatal Attraction where what's her name boils that his pet bunny? 0.99

01:35:30.000 Oh.

01:35:31.000 It means like a chick that cannot dump. 1.00

01:35:35.000 Like she's really nice when she meets her parents and shit. 0.98

01:35:37.000 She's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm starting to do that and stuff. 0.85

01:35:40.000 It's a fun relationship to be in.

01:35:42.000 Sure, sure.

01:35:43.000 You guys go to Six Flags and stuff, and she's really energetic and stuff and giggly and she makes crazy food. 0.71

01:35:51.000 But then when you start losing interest, things start getting weird. 0.97

01:35:56.000 In like the fourth month, then she like, when she starts meeting your friends, you're like, oh, fuck, how's this going to go? 0.98

01:36:02.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:36:02.000 John, this is Erica. 0.98

01:36:04.000 And then you go to this bar that you barely ever go to.

01:36:08.000 It's like in a basement.

01:36:09.000 You just need some time alone.

01:36:10.000 And she comes out from the kitchen. 0.85

01:36:12.000 Hi.

01:36:13.000 Wow.

01:36:14.000 What are you doing here?

01:36:15.000 And you're like, what are you doing here?

01:36:21.000 Yeah.

01:36:22.000 Or like, oh, I like she's fixing some stuff in the back.

01:36:25.000 You bring her somewhere like to your hometown. 0.93

01:36:27.000 You're like, yeah, this branch with the high school and shit. 0.65

01:36:28.000 This is like the subway we always used to go to after school. 0.57

01:36:30.000 And then some girl that you knew like comes up to you.

01:36:33.000 She's like, Ryan, how you been?

01:36:34.000 Long time.

01:36:35.000 And then you could tell, like, I'm in trouble right now.

01:36:38.000 She's not going to mention it until we get in the car.

01:36:41.000 No, but you know what happens to that?

01:36:42.000 That chick is named Marcia.

01:36:46.000 Marcia Sterner.

01:36:48.000 Marcia Stirner, yeah, yeah.

01:36:49.000 So you get a call from Marcia like four days later, and she's like, hey, your girlfriend Heather's really cool.

01:36:58.000 And you go, oh, thanks.

01:36:59.000 Yeah, we're getting along.

01:37:00.000 And she goes, she friended me on Facebook.

01:37:03.000 Oh, okay.

01:37:03.000 And she showed up at my mom's bake sale and she bought everything my mom baked.

01:37:09.000 And you're like, where was your mom's bake sale?

01:37:11.000 It was at like the church in Kentucky.

01:37:17.000 In Utrecht, in the Netherlands.

01:37:21.000 I haven't seen my mother since I was eight years old.

01:37:24.000 She tracked her down and is buying her stuff.

01:37:27.000 And then she had it shipped to me.

01:37:29.000 Uh-oh. 1.00

01:37:31.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:37:31.000 And then you hear, honey, I left the keys. 1.00

01:37:35.000 Honey, are you talking to Marcia about the bank sale?

01:37:39.000 No.

01:37:43.000 Oh, wait.

01:37:44.000 I'm trying to do a zoom in.

01:37:45.000 I was going to do this.

01:37:48.000 Very Mike Myers-ish.

01:37:50.000 Yeah, well done.

01:37:51.000 Nice delivery.

01:37:52.000 I like that it was blurry, too.

01:37:53.000 Well, I can do this.

01:37:58.000 You didn't like my joke.

01:38:07.000 Calling to move to America?

01:38:09.000 I miss Maddie.

01:38:13.000 Now you just have a monster?

01:38:14.000 You know, he's lost so much weight for all these operations that we're going to have to soon call him Babe Monster.

01:38:22.000 El Monstro de Monster.

01:38:23.000 Oh, did I tell you the latest about Joe Tonelli?

01:38:26.000 No.

01:38:28.000 People are saying they want him to have a mailbag show.

01:38:30.000 Yeah, I like that idea.

01:38:32.000 Me too.

01:38:33.000 I like that idea.

01:38:34.000 Because I don't think he'll be shy at all.

01:38:35.000 Oh, what?

01:38:36.000 Are we serious?

01:38:37.000 Okay, next letter.

01:38:38.000 First of all, you can probably barely read this.

01:38:39.000 Thank you for your service.

01:38:41.000 Is it true that you're working at FedEx, but it got delayed?

01:38:44.000 Oh, really?

01:38:45.000 Really?

01:38:47.000 Are you serious right now?

01:38:48.000 Are you serious?

01:38:48.000 Does he actually get mad or does he like, is he playfully mad?

01:38:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:51.000 So here's the deal.

01:38:52.000 So he's got a job at FedEx.

01:38:54.000 Stop me if I've told you this already.

01:38:56.000 He's got a job at FedEx, right?

01:39:00.000 And that's obviously a lie.

01:39:04.000 And he's, oh my God, when he's telling this lie, he's like, yo, I was in the Marines for 25 years.

01:39:10.000 You were in the Marines for 25 years?

01:39:12.000 Your pension must be awesome.

01:39:14.000 And you were a nurse.

01:39:18.000 You probably don't need a job, dude.

01:39:20.000 You're like 50, whatever years old, and you've got a military pension, a nurse.

01:39:25.000 He's got like seven pensions.

01:39:27.000 Anyway, she goes, I'm getting a job at FedEx.

01:39:30.000 So Maddie, baby monster, and our other friend, we call Unreliabil, they go to FedEx in the South Bronx, where he's working.

01:39:42.000 And they go, hello.

01:39:43.000 And they're like, hi, you want to send a package?

01:39:44.000 You were expecting a package?

01:39:46.000 No, no.

01:39:46.000 Our friend Joe is working here soon.

01:39:48.000 And they go, okay, when?

01:39:52.000 He's supposed to start this Sunday.

01:39:54.000 And they go, people don't really start on Sundays.

01:39:57.000 Well, his boss is named Dean.

01:40:00.000 Do you have a Dean here who hires? 0.99

01:40:02.000 And they go, the boss here is named Peter Bruisbridge or whatever his fucking name was. 0.93

01:40:08.000 But there's no Dean here. 0.97

01:40:10.000 And they go, well, you're probably wrong because Joe said that Dean is the boss here and he hired Joe.

01:40:16.000 They obviously know that they're in a lie.

01:40:19.000 So we're at the bar and there's Joe and everyone's just got back from FedEx checking in on him, right?

01:40:25.000 This is amazing. 0.99

01:40:26.000 So he's all pissed off, like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:40:28.000 Swear to God. 1.00

01:40:28.000 Next person is going through that fucking window. 1.00

01:40:31.000 I'll fucking launch you at the window. 1.00

01:40:33.000 And so I go, Joe, what's your boss's last name? 0.99

01:40:37.000 And he goes, stop enough.

01:40:42.000 And then I'm like, stop enough?

01:40:44.000 Is he German?

01:40:46.000 It sounds like maybe a German Jewish guy.

01:40:50.000 Dean Stopenoff.

01:40:52.000 Oh, no, it's Greek.

01:40:53.000 Yeah, Stopenophopolis, probably.

01:40:55.000 Oh, I see.

01:40:55.000 Yeah.

01:40:56.000 Dean Stopanophenus.

01:40:58.000 Stop enough of this.

01:41:00.000 Yeah, Stop Enough of this.

01:41:03.000 Dean Stop Enough of this. 1.00

01:41:05.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:41:06.000 So now we're driving him insane by asking about how Dean Stop Enough is doing. 1.00

01:41:16.000 Stop enough of this.

01:41:18.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 Oh, my God.

01:41:21.000 Oh, look, I got pictures here.

01:41:22.000 So Baby Monster is watching the show.

01:41:25.000 Nice.

01:41:26.000 I can actually update you with a picture of Unreliabil and Baby Monster going to FedEx to meet Dean Stopenough.

01:41:39.000 And by the way, Joe's not starting on Sunday.

01:41:43.000 It was delayed.

01:41:45.000 There's been a delay in his hiring.

01:41:48.000 There they are.

01:41:48.000 Where's Joe?

01:41:51.000 That's them walking into FedEx to go check on Joe's employment.

01:41:57.000 Now, I also sent you Joe's resume.

01:42:01.000 Oh, God.

01:42:02.000 Which is awesome.

01:42:04.000 It's really hard to pull up, though, because it's in scribbled, but I was reading it at the bar today, and it's like, can you zoom in on that?

01:42:11.000 Sure can.

01:42:12.000 Okay, so let's go up to District Safety Manager.

01:42:17.000 No, none of this, none of this.

01:42:19.000 That's all lies, by the way.

01:42:24.000 Since my employment with NRG Home Solar Energy, the impact I'm having in less than a month of employment, I'm earning the trust and the respect of the employees, which is hard to do, especially being in the safety field when you have that on your side.

01:42:38.000 The employees know you're looking out for their well-being and you're working with them, not against.

01:42:45.000 In the past, like no periods here at all.

01:42:48.000 It's all one sentence.

01:42:49.000 In the past, the employees see the safety person drive up work.

01:42:55.000 Work comes to a stop because they're afraid they're going to be quote unquote jamed up.

01:43:04.000 However, when they see me, it's business as usual.

01:43:07.000 And if I see something that's not right from there, I will put all my PPP, PPE and fail protection, et cetera.

01:43:14.000 And I will assist on it.

01:43:15.000 And I will assist them with their work as I talked with them, talk with them with my concerns.

01:43:23.000 And the employees respect that.

01:43:25.000 And from there, the word gets out as well.

01:43:29.000 I have increased job inspections as well.

01:43:31.000 Hold on a second.

01:43:31.000 How does the word get out?

01:43:32.000 Like, did you hear how, like, I respect the fact that he came up here with his PPE and he talked about what was on his mind?

01:43:38.000 I respect that.

01:43:39.000 Word's got to get around.

01:43:40.000 Move everything over. 0.98

01:43:41.000 I got the camera in the fucking way. 0.98

01:43:46.000 Respect this poach. 0.99

01:43:47.000 And from there, the word goes.

01:43:48.000 I have increased job site inspections as well as safety training.

01:43:52.000 Talk box for all installers and leads, supervisors, et cetera.

01:43:57.000 I let the employees know that I am looking out for Them.

01:44:00.000 My job is to make sure they're doing their job within the NRG safety code of conduct policy, and I'm there for the employees.

01:44:07.000 The bottom line is that all the fields crew are going home safe to their families at the end of the shift.

01:44:14.000 Like, hire me, your employees won't die.

01:44:18.000 Joe, that's implied.

01:44:21.000 It's implied that no one will die if we hire you.

01:44:25.000 That's the deal.

01:44:26.000 There's also some, it's eight pages, his resume, and I couldn't find it for the life of me.

01:44:31.000 But there's something in his resume about him doing mouth-to-mouth on a cat.

01:44:35.000 Oh, I remember. 0.99

01:44:36.000 I think we might have read that on the fucking. 0.99

01:44:38.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:44:39.000 Yeah.

01:44:40.000 Jammed up, J-A-M-E. 1.00

01:44:42.000 Call of Duty.

01:44:43.000 Wait, that sounds familiar.

01:44:44.000 The Call of Duty, the heavy smoke.

01:44:45.000 Here we go.

01:44:47.000 We've got the cat.

01:44:48.000 You got the cat?

01:44:49.000 Yeah.

01:44:49.000 Oh, I looked all day for this.

01:44:51.000 Okay.

01:44:52.000 So can you condense it over to that other side? 0.96

01:44:55.000 I got shit in the way. 0.96

01:44:57.000 I've received numerous life-saving awards. 0.98

01:45:00.000 He's never received any awards of any kind ever.

01:45:04.000 He claims he went to high school in Scotland.

01:45:06.000 Baby Monster and I both spent our childhoods in Glasgow. 0.98

01:45:10.000 And if there's one thing that's unique about Glasgow, it's their pattern, their silly little words. 0.61

01:45:15.000 And so we go, Joe, did you pick up any little colloquialisms, any sayings? 0.95

01:45:20.000 You know, Bampot, Daft is a brush, Akey the New. 1.00

01:45:27.000 I'll have your guts for garters. 1.00

01:45:29.000 It's Drik outside.

01:45:30.000 It's a braw brech. 1.00

01:45:32.000 Moonlechnech the Neck.

01:45:35.000 Rabbi Burns Knight, ever had Haggis?

01:45:38.000 Anyway.

01:45:38.000 Parisian is the language of love.

01:45:40.000 Scottish is clearly the language of hate.

01:45:42.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:44.000 That's my favorite saying.

01:45:45.000 It is not difficult to differentiate between a Scotsman in a bad mood and a sunset.

01:45:52.000 Received numerous life-saving awards and letters, commendations on various dates from victims and their families, from the city of Rye and the village of Harrison officials and other organizations for going above and beyond the call of duty.

01:46:04.000 Made the front page of the Daily Item newspaper on November 9th, 1991 for doing CPR on a cat.

01:46:12.000 Exclamation marks.

01:46:13.000 I was at Rye Fire Department, volunteer captain with the pornipipe hook and ladder company at the time while searching a private house located in Rye, New York that was on fire.

01:46:24.000 I searched the second floor and found an unresponsive feline.

01:46:30.000 Wait, can the show be called Unresponsive Feline with Joe Tonelli?

01:46:34.000 Oh my God.

01:46:35.000 It's a pickup show. 1.00

01:46:36.000 It's for losers who can't get laid. 0.99

01:46:39.000 Having trouble with unresponsive felines. 0.97

01:46:44.000 I broke out a window on the second floor to let the heavy smoke out and brought the feline out onto the roof with heavy smoke and fire around me.

01:46:53.000 I removed my air pack so can give the feline air while I was doing CPR.

01:47:00.000 Did the cat teach you English, Joe?

01:47:02.000 After about 10 minutes of CPR, the feline came to and was rushed to the Rai Harrison vet hospital where the feline was in critical but stable condition.

01:47:12.000 After about a week or so in the hospital, the feline made off for Wakabawee.

01:47:17.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:47:19.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:47:20.000 So Joe's on the, how did he know all this, right? 0.99

01:47:22.000 He didn't stay there with the cat, but he called him.

01:47:24.000 He's like, hello, veterinary hospital.

01:47:26.000 Hey, I'm checking in on feline.

01:47:29.000 Oh, my God.

01:47:30.000 Imagine the tears when he showed up after that week.

01:47:35.000 Oh, the cat.

01:47:35.000 And the cat was there, not reacting.

01:47:38.000 And he's like, hey, little guy.

01:47:40.000 And the cat was like, Joe.

01:47:46.000 Is that you?

01:47:48.000 Hey, hey.

01:47:50.000 And he just held his little paw.

01:47:51.000 He goes, it's me, little man.

01:47:53.000 God bless you, Joe Tanelli.

01:47:56.000 How can I ever pay for that?

01:47:57.000 God bless each and every one of you.

01:47:59.000 Don't thank me.

01:48:00.000 I'll tell you how you can repay me.

01:48:01.000 Teach me cat.

01:48:06.000 Look up, is it possible to do CPR in a cat?

01:48:09.000 Like, how do you make a seal?

01:48:11.000 CPR, right?

01:48:12.000 That's mouth to mouth.

01:48:14.000 Right.

01:48:15.000 Oh.

01:48:16.000 Cat unconscious.

01:48:17.000 I believe you can do the pump-pump thing.

01:48:20.000 I've heard of that with like squirrels and stuff.

01:48:22.000 I think I've even seen a fireman do it to a thing.

01:48:27.000 Cat unconscious, what to do.

01:48:30.000 Nothing.

01:48:31.000 Who cares?

01:48:34.000 Walk away.

01:48:34.000 You turn around.

01:48:35.000 You turn around and you walk away.

01:48:38.000 Then you will need to do CPR.

01:48:41.000 And you will be doing Conscious.

01:48:42.000 You will not need to do CPR.

01:48:45.000 You could.

01:48:46.000 So it does exist.

01:48:47.000 CPR on cat.

01:48:48.000 No.

01:48:48.000 Cat CPR exists.

01:48:52.000 CPR for the feline patient.

01:48:54.000 Drowning kitten, give mouth to mouth. 1.00

01:48:56.000 Oh, my God.

01:48:58.000 There's Joe.

01:49:02.000 All right.

01:49:02.000 Next call.

01:49:04.000 I'm sure the cat survived and did great.

01:49:06.000 Let's not jump the cat here.

01:49:09.000 Call mom move to America.

01:49:11.000 Now this person's been on the line for a while.

01:49:13.000 Okay.

01:49:14.000 Sir.

01:49:15.000 Ma'am.

01:49:16.000 Person.

01:49:17.000 Hey, what's up, dude?

01:49:18.000 There you go.

01:49:18.000 Hey, man.

01:49:21.000 First of all, fuck Maddie. 1.00

01:49:22.000 Those football picks were bullshit. 1.00

01:49:25.000 Second of all, so I guess you probably know in Ontario we got vaccine passports now that just came out like I think yesterday maybe the day before fucking so my old man had has his vaccines and shit and he doesn't know how to work a computer and I printed off this shit for him and he like we got like like into it you know like get your fucking shot like what are you gonna do how's your boy gonna play hockey and I'm like what the fuck do I have to have this flu shot for to for my son to play hockey like what the what the fuck 1.00

01:50:25.000 know and you know I'm part of the you know friends club and stuff that's another reason I got to get the fuck out of here so yeah that's like somebody's a friends club look at it proud boys oh I see gotcha yeah but yeah I was talking to to your you know your little brother about that shit too like I that has to be a thing that we got to figure out. 1.00

01:50:48.000 Or, you know, yeah, I want to move to Kentucky or whatever the fuck. 0.97

01:50:52.000 Because what a lot of New Yorkers are doing is they have the fake cards and you're supposed to have it on the app and be in the database. 0.98

01:50:59.000 But when you're in a restaurant and people are moving through, they don't have time to go, wait a minute, that's just a card.

01:51:05.000 You need to be on the website.

01:51:06.000 And I'll tell you what, if they did enforce that, there'd be a crowd over there of brown and black people who weren't on the database but had the card. 0.94

01:51:15.000 And all the white people who were handy with their iPhonered through and it would look real fucking bad real fast. 0.99

01:51:24.000 So the problem with any of this vaccine passport shit is it punishes black and brown people, just like the voting laws, right? 0.99

01:51:32.000 So I don't see how they could ever make it, you need to be on the database. 0.99

01:51:35.000 And if you don't need to be on the database and you just need a physical card, it's easy to forge. 0.89

01:51:42.000 Yeah, no, that's your brother was saying he was on the phone with the stupid government for hours to figure out how to get a passport if you were given the vaccine in the States.

01:51:50.000 Because it's all like to get your passport in Ontario, you just basically enter your health card and it's just there. 0.96

01:51:58.000 And right now it's just like either a piece of paper or a screenshot that I sent to my old man that he showed to his buddies or showed to the restaurant where he has beers with his buddies. 0.99

01:52:09.000 Yeah, this shit can't last. 0.99

01:52:11.000 I mean, worst case Ontario, you'll have to just fucking show a fake card. 1.00

01:52:16.000 I highly recommend that. 0.99

01:52:17.000 Yeah, worst case Ontario.

01:52:18.000 That is a call, buddy. 1.00

01:52:20.000 They will happily lock you up for that shit. 1.00

01:52:22.000 I mean, I started making a joke one on the computer, like the Excelsior pass. 0.99

01:52:27.000 I was like, how funny would it be to have like, it's a video that you play and you don't swipe, don't touch the screen after you press play, but it looks like you're swiping through apps.

01:52:37.000 Looks like you open up the Excelsior app and it looks like you're scrolling to the barcode thing.

01:52:43.000 And then it looks like your phone dies. 0.96

01:52:45.000 So you're like, oh, shit, my phone just died. 0.92

01:52:48.000 And they're like, no, it's fine. 0.98

01:52:50.000 I'll get you in.

01:52:50.000 I'm cool.

01:52:51.000 And they let you in. 0.99

01:52:53.000 And then I started looking up some of this shit and it's like very severe. 0.99

01:52:56.000 And they will happily, I mean, you know. 0.99

01:52:59.000 Yeah, she had a terrible forgery, though.

01:53:01.000 Madam. 0.99

01:53:01.000 She spelt Pfizer wrong or some shit. 0.99

01:53:04.000 That was the one in Hawaii. 0.99

01:53:06.000 This one.

01:53:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:07.000 Yeah, for federal charges.

01:53:10.000 So it's just, you know.

01:53:12.000 Yeah, crazy times.

01:53:14.000 Crazy times.

01:53:15.000 Crazy times.

01:53:16.000 I know a guy who was vaccinated, went by the book.

01:53:20.000 He goes to get on the New York City database.

01:53:23.000 They say you didn't get vaccinated.

01:53:25.000 Wow.

01:53:25.000 He goes, yeah, I did.

01:53:27.000 Like half of these they're doing in a church parking lot.

01:53:30.000 Right, right, right.

01:53:33.000 What you could do is you get a doctor, hypothetically, that knows you and they just shoot it into the air.

01:53:40.000 Yeah, that's what my mobster friends do.

01:53:42.000 That's the best way to do it.

01:53:43.000 The New York zips.

01:53:45.000 Not that we agree with that.

01:53:46.000 Did you call them zips?

01:53:49.000 The world called them zips at one time.

01:53:51.000 No, not chinks or nips. 1.00

01:53:53.000 I mean Italians.

01:53:55.000 You could call them zips.

01:53:55.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:57.000 I'm pretty new to zips, but in the South Bronx, everyone calls Italians zips because they speak fast.

01:54:03.000 But the zips I know, like the top, remember we were talking about you have to have a guy?

01:54:09.000 The zips with the top guys, they just have a nurse who goes, shoots it into the air. 0.98

01:54:14.000 Also known as Siggies or Jeeps?

01:54:18.000 I think it's my favorite derogatory slur. 0.99

01:54:21.000 Sorry, nigger. 1.00

01:54:25.000 They get mad because they're like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:54:27.000 Yo, what the hell, man? 1.00

01:54:28.000 Remember me? 0.99

01:54:30.000 Racists are so racist these days, they don't even say the N-word no more.

01:54:34.000 They show up outside your house. 0.90

01:54:34.000 They've been wasting all that time. 0.90

01:54:35.000 Yeah, I trust a racist to only focus on whites when he's trying to talk shit. 1.00

01:54:40.000 It's like we're not worthy of him anymore. 1.00

01:54:43.000 Now it's zip this and zip that.

01:54:45.000 Whatever happened to niggs? 1.00

01:54:47.000 They show up outside your house with a boom box and just like singing nigger. 1.00

01:54:51.000 Nigger. 1.00

01:54:54.000 They're playing screwdriver on a boom box. 1.00

01:54:58.000 Absolutely they are.

01:55:00.000 Oh, this one.

01:55:00.000 Wow.

01:55:01.000 That would be a fucking funny sketch that will never see the light of day. 0.99

01:55:05.000 That's correct. 0.99

01:55:06.000 That would be highbrow humor. 0.97

01:55:09.000 Black dudes mad at racists for saying zip all the time and abandoning the n-word. 0.93

01:55:14.000 What about us? 0.99

01:55:15.000 You're African American.

01:55:17.000 I'm not afraid of you guys that much. 0.97

01:55:17.000 And plus, you get all pissy when we say it. 0.97

01:55:20.000 Okay, I won't get pissy anymore.

01:55:22.000 Nah, it's too late.

01:55:23.000 I like zips.

01:55:24.000 Zips just sort of go, hey, watch it.

01:55:26.000 Later, African American people of color.

01:55:29.000 Gentlemen.

01:55:30.000 Yo, I don't like that.

01:55:31.000 It takes too long.

01:55:32.000 Yeah.

01:55:34.000 We got Tom.

01:55:38.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:55:40.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:55:43.000 Dude, you guys don't play that one enough.

01:55:45.000 That is true.

01:55:47.000 You have hurt me today with the chicken. 0.93

01:55:49.000 Alright, so, remember a few weeks ago, I know this is ancient Chinese secret by now, but you played a TikTok of a lesbian teacher who had a little puff on her head. 0.81

01:56:00.000 It was like a dyed puff.

01:56:02.000 Yeah.

01:56:02.000 The one who had to get her hand tattoos in every shot?

01:56:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:56:07.000 So I worked with her four years ago at a school in Trenton, New Jersey.

01:56:11.000 And it's over.

01:56:12.000 We were co-workers.

01:56:14.000 Wait, pause.

01:56:15.000 Pause, pause.

01:56:17.000 So this is the one who says, guys, I messed up.

01:56:21.000 I misgendered someone today.

01:56:23.000 Is that the one?

01:56:25.000 She keeps you up in her face. 0.92

01:56:26.000 Yeah, and she's got trees on her hand, lots of tree tattoos.

01:56:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:56:31.000 I worked with her.

01:56:33.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:56:34.000 So that was the year Trump got elected. 0.99

01:56:37.000 And I remember that day of school, I came in and they canceled all the classes and they put us all into the gymnasium. 0.99

01:56:45.000 And we were just like, what the fuck is going on? 0.95

01:56:48.000 And they had her come up to the microphone and all the kids are sitting there in the bleachers. 1.00

01:56:52.000 And she was like, I'm going to make sure they don't deport the Mexicans. 0.78

01:56:57.000 And I'm going to make sure that there's no bigotry toward all the LGBT students.

01:57:00.000 And everyone's clapping and losing their mind.

01:57:02.000 And I was like, what is going on here?

01:57:06.000 What?

01:57:06.000 I remember that.

01:57:07.000 Remember they said, I stand after Trump won, like that week, all the teachers were saying, I stand behind my Mexican students.

01:57:15.000 I stand behind me, and then they kept going, and it was like handicap students. 0.98

01:57:20.000 And you're like, wait a minute, the Trump administration is going to be what?

01:57:23.000 Rounding up crippled kids? 0.99

01:57:27.000 Why?

01:57:28.000 How?

01:57:28.000 Where do they go?

01:57:29.000 The death camps? 0.77

01:57:33.000 Yeah, it was a crazy freaking time, dude. 0.99

01:57:36.000 She also took really stinky dumps. 1.00

01:57:39.000 She looked like she stunk. 0.99

01:57:40.000 Not gonna lie. 0.91

01:57:41.000 So we're in the teacher's lounge?

01:57:45.000 Okay.

01:57:46.000 Oh, that's it. 0.99

01:57:48.000 The stinky dumps. 1.00

01:57:49.000 Was she in a loving relationship with a lesbian who cared about her and brought her food? 1.00

01:57:56.000 Yeah, she was actually married to a woman, and I believe it was a pretty good relationship as far as I know.

01:58:05.000 And her wife did not look like a lesbian. 1.00

01:58:08.000 Her wife looked just like a normal, you know, straight. 1.00

01:58:12.000 Weird. 1.00

01:58:14.000 Well, fags are weird. 0.99

01:58:15.000 All right. 0.99

01:58:16.000 Thanks for calling.

01:58:17.000 Great gossip.

01:58:18.000 You got it.

01:58:20.000 Juicy goss. 0.97

01:58:22.000 I stand behind my disabled students.

01:58:26.000 Good.

01:58:26.000 Yeah, and that was not an unusual belief.

01:58:30.000 This is why I say on this episode that it's not like, well, social assistance, but maybe tough love.

01:58:37.000 We're not near there. 0.98

01:58:39.000 It's lunatic clown world. 0.99

01:58:41.000 You think that we're going to be rounding up crippled kids? 1.00

01:58:45.000 Why are we doing that? 0.99

01:58:47.000 Even if you were the president and you fucking hated cripples, what are you going to do? 1.00

01:58:51.000 Maybe like have less funding to their various ramps, but you're never, ever going to round up crippled kids. 1.00

01:59:02.000 What a moronic view of the world.

01:59:04.000 And I had friends, Michael Hirshorn of Ish Entertainment, a reality TV producer, did a lot of successful shows, basically put VH1 on the map. 1.00

01:59:17.000 He said, are you going to, I go, why are you so paranoid about fucking Trump? 0.90

01:59:22.000 He goes, my dad told me a lot of scary stories about the Holocaust growing up. 0.99

01:59:26.000 I go, okay.

01:59:27.000 So you think that's going to be repeated?

01:59:30.000 I have your back if it's repeated.

01:59:32.000 And he goes, yeah, you're going to have my back when the Gestapo comes to my house to round up my family?

01:59:36.000 That's what he said.

01:59:37.000 Then another dude I knew, Peter Cooper, K-U-P-E-R, Jewish, also Jew, cartoonist, he said the exact same thing, verbatim.

01:59:46.000 Are you going to have my back when the Gestapo comes to my house to round up me and my family?

01:59:53.000 What?

01:59:54.000 Where are they?

01:59:55.000 Is there gas chambers?

01:59:58.000 That's what Trump's doing?

02:00:00.000 Like, we're not, this is why it's time for a divorce.

02:00:03.000 I mean, my wife and I have had some fights, but every time I'm fighting with a sane person who disagrees with me about something and is upset about something that I've done, she never argues with me that the earth is flat or that there's a secret cabal of stormtroopers coming to abduct crippled children. 0.95

02:00:24.000 If she did push shit like that, I think I might go, we got to send you to Bellevue or do something because this is not working. 0.95

02:00:34.000 It's time to split up. 1.00

02:00:35.000 You lost your mind.

02:00:36.000 You're not you anymore.

02:00:38.000 That's just it.

02:00:39.000 They're not who they said they were anymore. 1.00

02:00:42.000 They're not half the fucking population. 0.99

02:00:45.000 They're on a freak float and they drifted out to sea. 0.99

02:00:49.000 Anyway, folks, that's it for the show.

02:00:51.000 Thank you for coming.

02:00:52.000 Tomorrow will be a perfectly normal show.

02:00:55.000 I'd like to get James O'Keefe on because he's getting banned for his latest scoops, which we will be discussing, where he's got people within the FDA saying, I want to use blow darts. 0.96

02:01:07.000 I want them to have fucking yellow stars. 0.99

02:01:09.000 Saying Nazi shit, basically. 1.00

02:01:11.000 And he's getting shut down for exposing the truth. 1.00

02:01:14.000 This is what someone actually said.

02:01:15.000 This isn't his opinion.

02:01:17.000 He's not giving you false information.

02:01:18.000 He's giving you recordings.

02:01:19.000 Anyway, lots of exciting stuff going on, folks.

02:01:22.000 And I'm against divorce.

02:01:24.000 I'm pro-marriage.

02:01:26.000 Put a ring on it.

02:01:27.000 Have kids.

02:01:28.000 But as far as the nation goes, that's a totally different scenario.

02:01:32.000 And I just can't work with these people anymore. 1.00

02:01:36.000 They're fucking lunatics. 1.00

02:01:39.000 Get fired. 1.00

02:01:40.000 Get in trouble.

02:01:41.000 Be brave.

02:01:42.000 And never stop fighting.

02:02:03.000 Be disrespectful to people or not respectful, disrespectful things.

02:02:11.000 I come really, really hard.

02:02:23.000 Mike.

02:02:27.000 Mikey.

02:02:34.000 We don't know why.

02:02:42.000 On your free soldier.

02:02:53.000 You gotta be proud of your boy.

02:02:58.000 Wow.

02:03:01.000 Wow.

02:03:12.000 Wow.

02:03:17.000 Everything woke. 1.00

02:03:18.000 Turns to shit. 1.00

02:03:24.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird. 1.00

02:03:45.000 to eat that boo-boo Nothing wrong with that Jesus Christ mister you okay in there? 0.99

02:04:00.000 I like him too but I don't know if I like him that much What the hell are you talking about? 0.95

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 24, 2021

GOML LIVE #116 - REIDTARD WORLD

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Summary

Transcript