Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #118 - WASTED AND ON COKE (Part 1)


Summary

Gavin McInnes and Matty O'Dell are back from the hospital. Matty talks about his recent procedure and Ryan talks about the recent school shooting in Aurora, Colorado. They also talk about the new MAGA hats and the school shooter in Colorado. Matty also talks about why he doesn t like school shooters and why he thinks they should be given the same rights as rappers like Chance The Rapper and Chance the Rapper. The boys also discuss the new AC/DC album and talk about their favorite ACDC songs. Finally, the boys talk about what it's like to be a rapper in Los Angeles and why they don't have the same type of clothing as other rappers like Drake and Nicki Minaj. And of course, Matty gives his thoughts on the recent mass shooting in Colorado and why we should all have a MAGA hat. Get off your lawn! Get Off My Lawn! is a new podcast hosted by Matty and Ryan O'Donnell. Get off My Lawn is a podcast about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Get on my Lawn! Get On My Lawn with Me! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Retweet! If you like what you're listening to this podcast, Subscribe, Retweet, and Tell a Friend about what you think of the podcast and/or share it with a friend about it on social media or share it on your Insta! Thanks for listening and share it! Enjoy & spread the love and support the love, support the podcast! - Matty & Ryan & Matty! XOXOdell - The Ollie And Matty Thank you for listening to the podcast? Subscribe and review the podcast, and spread the word out to your friends about this podcast! XOXOXO XO - and other things like this podcast and more like this and more! xOXO - Thank you so much love & support the ODDDell and the OLDEST BONUS EPISODES! Love you can do more of this week's episode of the OLLY AND THE OLDER THANOLLY RYAN & more xOZY! and much more. - XOXO and more!! - PODCAST CHECK OUT THE OTHERS .


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:42.000 That was every ACDC song ever written.
00:00:46.000 They are all exactly the same.
00:00:49.000 With few exceptions.
00:00:50.000 I mean, Thunderstruck, that was pretty recent, right?
00:00:54.000 That one's different.
00:00:55.000 For those about to rock, Hell's Bells.
00:01:00.000 Highway to Hell, Dirty Deeds.
00:01:02.000 They got a lot of fucking hits.
00:01:03.000 I've got big balls.
00:01:05.000 I've got big balls, but when you put on, like, for those about to rock, when you put on the album, you have to sometimes double check that the song's changed.
00:01:12.000 Yeah.
00:01:13.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
00:01:16.000 Welcome back, Matty O'Dell.
00:01:18.000 What's up, everybody?
00:01:18.000 Back from the grave.
00:01:20.000 Yes, sir.
00:01:21.000 Didn't die.
00:01:23.000 You know, it took its toll.
00:01:25.000 It's been, uh, it hasn't been the best, but it's not the worst.
00:01:28.000 Are you fully recovered now?
00:01:30.000 I still have a little fluid in my right lung.
00:01:32.000 Can you, like, do you feel a hundred percent?
00:01:35.000 Um, like I said, like after sleeping all night, like when I get up in the morning, I feel a little like fluid in there and I got to get up and start moving around and hack up a little bit.
00:01:46.000 Huh.
00:01:46.000 But it's pretty common with the procedure.
00:01:48.000 Okay.
00:01:49.000 So you're good to go.
00:01:51.000 And Ryan, you feel good?
00:01:52.000 Yeah, I feel great.
00:01:53.000 Good to see you.
00:01:54.000 We noticed you lost the only interesting thing that you've ever done, which is have a mullet.
00:01:59.000 And he shaved.
00:02:00.000 This is a filter.
00:02:02.000 No mustache.
00:02:03.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:02:04.000 Yeah, my wife was like, I have a brand new husband.
00:02:07.000 I was like, well, what do you think?
00:02:08.000 She's like, you look like a child.
00:02:10.000 He's a really, you look like a prodigy.
00:02:13.000 You look like a 12 year old who goes to Harvard.
00:02:16.000 Yeah, and I'm learning my skills to produce.
00:02:19.000 I'm an intern.
00:02:20.000 You look like there's a bunch of guys who work at Raytheon and are trying to figure out why this drone is flying sideways, the one that's headed to Saudi Arabia to kill our enemies.
00:02:30.000 And then you show up and you're super shy because you're on the spectrum.
00:02:34.000 And you go, maybe it's nothing to do with the interface.
00:02:37.000 Maybe this is just the actual propellers.
00:02:39.000 I'm the guy in the movie where they go to the guy like, I know a guy.
00:02:43.000 And then it's like, Mom!
00:02:46.000 Like I'm in the basement, but a prodigy.
00:02:48.000 It's like that movie I just I saw recently.
00:02:50.000 It wasn't recent, actually, where they go to Mars.
00:02:53.000 I think it was the Martian.
00:02:55.000 No, it was later than that.
00:02:56.000 And they're like, I don't know what to do.
00:02:58.000 We got this.
00:02:59.000 We're trying to go to Mars.
00:03:00.000 We got to get back and they're going to die of old age.
00:03:02.000 And we need a brilliant scientist, you know, the smartest guy in the world.
00:03:06.000 And then it's like,
00:03:11.000 Hi, I'm the This Is America rapper.
00:03:15.000 What?
00:03:16.000 Oh, it's him.
00:03:18.000 Donald.
00:03:18.000 Donald Glover or whatever his name is.
00:03:22.000 And he's like, I don't know, 30, 13.
00:03:25.000 No, I guess he's 30 in the movie.
00:03:27.000 But like, ah, every fucking.
00:03:30.000 Look, I'm sorry we keep talking about racism on this show, but it's up our noses like this fucking shooter.
00:03:36.000 School shooter.
00:03:38.000 Remember Columbine?
00:03:39.000 You sure do.
00:03:40.000 You'll never forget it.
00:03:41.000 This guy comes in, shoots up a school.
00:03:43.000 The takeaway is
00:03:45.000 I don't know.
00:03:46.000 I mean, he was under a lot of pressure.
00:03:47.000 He was being bullied.
00:03:48.000 Now he's out on bail.
00:03:50.000 And the story is leaving the news.
00:03:53.000 Sorry.
00:03:54.000 So he shot up a school.
00:03:56.000 Why are we playing the blame game?
00:03:59.000 I saw some tweet.
00:04:00.000 I could send it to you where this woman goes.
00:04:02.000 I will send it to you.
00:04:04.000 She goes, he's just a baby.
00:04:05.000 I feel sorry for his parents.
00:04:09.000 Imagine what they're going through?
00:04:11.000 Having a son who tried to murder a bunch of people?
00:04:15.000 That must be so stressful for them.
00:04:18.000 God forbid.
00:04:19.000 How about if he had a fucking MAGA hat on?
00:04:23.000 How long would that story be staying in the fucking news?
00:04:27.000 Uh, I just sent it to you.
00:04:28.000 Speaking of MAGA hats, I am very happy to announce new shirts.
00:04:33.000 Now, everyone is making these shirts.
00:04:35.000 It's going to become the motto of 2021, but our shirts are better than everyone else's shirts.
00:04:41.000 And I'm gonna make it a, it's a bumper sticker too.
00:04:44.000 Go, so go down, go, oh yeah, you got it.
00:04:46.000 He's just a baby.
00:04:48.000 My heart goes out to his parents and the school.
00:04:50.000 These kids need guidance, not a jail cell.
00:04:54.000 Help these kids.
00:04:55.000 My heart breaks for everyone.
00:04:59.000 He's 18 and shot four people.
00:05:00.000 He's not a baby.
00:05:01.000 He didn't have to do a baby deed.
00:05:03.000 He didn't do a baby deed.
00:05:04.000 This goes back to a joke I used to do with my buddy Marcus in college and tree planting mostly.
00:05:11.000 Actually, he never went to college, but I was of that age.
00:05:13.000 And we'd go, oh!
00:05:16.000 The Zulus are killing the Hulus who are attacking the Hutsis who are killing the Tutsis.
00:05:23.000 Oh, my heart bleeds for Africa.
00:05:27.000 She's doing our guy.
00:05:28.000 Our joke is her reality.
00:05:31.000 But yeah, speaking of Trump, check out our new shirts.
00:05:36.000 Let's go, Brandon.
00:05:38.000 I don't have a physical copy with me or I'd be wearing it.
00:05:42.000 I got a new Macputer and I want to put the sticker on that.
00:05:45.000 But go to our shop, Ryan.
00:05:48.000 Do you know about this even?
00:05:49.000 No.
00:05:51.000 Aren't they beautiful?
00:05:53.000 That is nice.
00:05:54.000 That's retro and nice.
00:05:56.000 And NASCAR.
00:05:56.000 See, I've seen a lot of people doing their shirts and they just write, let's go Brandon.
00:06:00.000 That ignores the impetus.
00:06:02.000 And our buddy, I don't know if he wants us to say his name.
00:06:06.000 We'll call him Mike.
00:06:07.000 He made the O and E. Now this guy's a fucking Mexican.
00:06:12.000 Oh, gotcha.
00:06:13.000 And he's that good at graphic design and that smart.
00:06:16.000 Brilliant.
00:06:17.000 So stop shitting on Mexicans all the time.
00:06:19.000 At least one of them is talented.
00:06:23.000 They are.
00:06:23.000 They're not setting their best, but we have their best.
00:06:26.000 We hire the exceptions to the rule.
00:06:29.000 We have the one good Mexican in the world.
00:06:32.000 And it comes in black.
00:06:33.000 Now, the fun thing about black is, it's a totally different color scheme.
00:06:38.000 Not totally different, but... Uh-oh.
00:06:41.000 We don't have a preview for the black page?
00:06:44.000 Yeah, you gotta go back to the main page.
00:06:46.000 Yeah, go back a page.
00:06:48.000 Right there.
00:06:49.000 Well, that's the sticker, but that will tell you everything you need to know.
00:06:53.000 No, click on the sticker.
00:06:56.000 Okay.
00:06:57.000 So go back.
00:06:59.000 Yeah, click on that.
00:07:00.000 So that, you know, it's white text.
00:07:03.000 That is a good, it makes the, yeah, the blue and the red pop.
00:07:06.000 Absolutely.
00:07:08.000 That's kind of fierce.
00:07:09.000 I like that.
00:07:10.000 I saw this 1982 M series BMW that I want to get.
00:07:15.000 It's 12 grand, a hundred thousand miles.
00:07:18.000 My son wrecked his.
00:07:20.000 You're kidding me.
00:07:23.000 Sent me a video the other day.
00:07:24.000 It's completely totaled.
00:07:26.000 Yeah.
00:07:27.000 Dude.
00:07:27.000 He said the steering, the steering shaft snapped or something.
00:07:32.000 That's the end of that.
00:07:33.000 You're not going to get a new steering shaft.
00:07:35.000 I didn't even want to know how fast you were going or where.
00:07:38.000 That boy of yours, it's constantly getting into all kinds of, I don't know where he gets it from.
00:07:43.000 He sold it already.
00:07:43.000 I called him today.
00:07:44.000 I said, what are you doing about the car?
00:07:46.000 It's already sold.
00:07:47.000 Sold already.
00:07:49.000 I go, how much did you get for it?
00:07:50.000 He goes, a lot more than I paid for it.
00:07:53.000 Really?
00:07:53.000 Oh yeah.
00:07:55.000 Oh, was that the one you got the crazy deal on that was like, it was a family discount.
00:07:59.000 Yeah.
00:07:59.000 Yeah.
00:08:00.000 Yeah.
00:08:01.000 Cause I heard they take a lot of these cars, like the flood cars and they auction them off and they sell them in Saudi Arabia and these turd world countries will rebuild what they call salvage titles in there.
00:08:13.000 You know, it puts a little, not that they're not worthy of driving or anything, but they're just the values decreased.
00:08:20.000 Well, you should see this 1982 beast.
00:08:22.000 It's just from up the road in, uh, I don't know, B word, uh, New York.
00:08:29.000 And, but I was just thinking the reason I bring it up is, yeah, that's what it looks like, but you can't, uh, that's exactly what it looks like.
00:08:36.000 And it's black.
00:08:38.000 You can't put bumper stickers on that, right?
00:08:40.000 No.
00:08:41.000 That wasn't a thing in 1982.
00:08:43.000 Yeah, when did bumper stickers come out?
00:08:45.000 Feels like the 90s.
00:08:46.000 People think they're gay, but I think they make it easy to find your car.
00:08:52.000 We had bumper stickers all over my mother's station wagon growing up.
00:08:56.000 Yeah.
00:08:57.000 Look at that fucking beauty they just showed.
00:09:00.000 They.
00:09:01.000 Ryan.
00:09:02.000 Those are my pronouns.
00:09:04.000 How the fuck can we not have that back again?
00:09:08.000 Why is this such a crazy... I honestly feel like a faggot in 1950.
00:09:11.000 And I'm like, can you not suck one cock?
00:09:15.000 How could you guys be so obsessed with pussies?
00:09:17.000 They look like an alien's face.
00:09:20.000 Don't you want dicks?
00:09:21.000 Look how gorgeous dicks are.
00:09:24.000 I honestly feel like that.
00:09:28.000 Nothing, Matty?
00:09:29.000 Yeah, I mean, listen.
00:09:32.000 I feel the same way about motorcycles.
00:09:33.000 I love motorcycles, you know.
00:09:35.000 Cars are still beautiful motorcycles.
00:09:37.000 Yeah, there's still like modern Harleys that look like they're from 1950
00:09:43.000 Like, like, motorcycles have expanded to the crotch rocket thing, right?
00:09:47.000 Which your Triumph is kind of, like a Japanese looking thing, no offense.
00:09:52.000 But, they've still maintained the range.
00:09:55.000 And there's still like beautiful Moto Guzis, what do you call those things?
00:10:00.000 That's a brand.
00:10:01.000 They're fucking beautiful.
00:10:03.000 So there's still beautiful classic bikes, but there's no beautiful classic cars.
00:10:08.000 that are being made and they say oh no they're bringing back the muscle car i don't know those things look like like i could break them with my hand like the new challenger and all those things i don't know that they lack the fucking gigantitude of the original mopars where you're like if i get hit by this i'm dust
00:10:31.000 We should take a moment to we're in free time here We have any the way this show should go on these free episodes is welcome back to the show.
00:10:38.000 Welcome back Maddie We introduced everyone don't talk about the music.
00:10:41.000 Don't talk about a car you saw for sale and jump right into the sponsors today's sponsors are tactical walls built in America a company run by a vet and
00:10:55.000 The only way to show your guns, the only way to show your artillery.
00:11:00.000 Beautiful stuff.
00:11:01.000 And this is only the tip of the iceberg with Tactical Walls.
00:11:04.000 And by the way, when you use promo code GAVIN15, you get 20% off.
00:11:08.000 Not 2, 2-0 percent off.
00:11:12.000 And the beauty of Tactical Tim and his fortitude and his creativity is, if you live in a shithole cunt city like New York, they still have cool stuff.
00:11:23.000 They have tactical walls for sports.
00:11:26.000 Tactical wall- We have- Tactical walls in our studio!
00:11:30.000 Ryan puts his- his crap on the wall.
00:11:34.000 On his tactical walls.
00:11:35.000 In- In the front, we can't show you with a camera angle, but we have- Oh my god, you look like a- You look like you're on Netflix's Love on the Spectrum.
00:11:48.000 I want a girlfriend.
00:11:50.000 My name is Ryan.
00:11:52.000 I like girls very much, but I also like trains way more.
00:11:56.000 I collect Thomas the Tank Engine, and I want to meet a girl that I can collect trains with.
00:12:01.000 Perhaps her name will be Lucy.
00:12:06.000 My mom's been teaching me how to smile and not make too much eye contact.
00:12:11.000 I watched it last night and one of the unfortunate things about being over 50 is you become a crybaby.
00:12:18.000 And I was crying for a large part of it, especially this girl who reminded me of my daughter.
00:12:25.000 And she's just like, you look at these people that are just not compatible.
00:12:30.000 Like there's racism and transphobia and sexism.
00:12:34.000 That's all bullshit.
00:12:36.000 Those people are invited to society.
00:12:38.000 Autistic people are not.
00:12:41.000 And inevitably they go on a date and they get along great, of course.
00:12:44.000 They're both autistic.
00:12:46.000 And I almost feel like it's divine intervention.
00:12:49.000 God will get in their head and go, you are just friends.
00:12:53.000 And they'll go, how'd the day go?
00:12:54.000 Oh, it went fantastic.
00:12:56.000 I had a great time.
00:12:57.000 Will you be seeing her again?
00:12:58.000 No, we are just friends.
00:13:02.000 It's like, God, it's like, nah, nah, nah.
00:13:04.000 We're not making more of these.
00:13:06.000 We already have too many.
00:13:07.000 I'm sorry, that's a horrible eugenics thing to say, but that's the vibe I get.
00:13:11.000 It's every single fucking time.
00:13:14.000 They fall in love.
00:13:17.000 The date goes great.
00:13:18.000 She can't draw.
00:13:20.000 And, oh look, there's Ryan.
00:13:22.000 Yeah, I am.
00:13:23.000 Because she's nice.
00:13:24.000 What will you and the girlfriend do together?
00:13:29.000 She will get pregnant by accident and we will get married.
00:13:33.000 What else do girlfriends and boyfriends do?
00:13:35.000 They get married after you get pregnant and then after you get the ring.
00:13:39.000 Oh, that's about me?
00:13:40.000 No, it was not an accident.
00:13:41.000 I totally get off birth control.
00:13:42.000 Hugs and kisses.
00:13:43.000 A man who wants a baby says that.
00:13:45.000 So, would you like to do hugs and kisses?
00:13:46.000 Yes.
00:13:47.000 Yes.
00:13:47.000 Yes.
00:13:48.000 When we go on our first date with somebody... My boss abuses me.
00:13:52.000 She's like, wait a second.
00:13:53.000 He's just Asian.
00:13:54.000 There's nothing wrong with him.
00:13:57.000 He's a regular Asian boy.
00:13:59.000 But it's new.
00:14:00.000 There's a whole new series on Netflix now.
00:14:02.000 Nice.
00:14:03.000 It's gut-wrenching.
00:14:06.000 If you're an empath, like most fucking strong males are, oh god it rips your guts out.
00:14:15.000 And when your guts get ripped out, you want to go to tacticalwalls.com, build a mod wall, and hang your entrails where your M16 used to be.
00:14:26.000 So go to TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin.
00:14:29.000 That's the longest tangent we've ever had in a commercial.
00:14:33.000 And thank you, Tactical Walls, for supporting the show.
00:14:41.000 Back to the spooky background.
00:14:46.000 I fought a cop today.
00:14:48.000 And a fireman.
00:14:50.000 Huey?
00:14:51.000 Yep.
00:14:52.000 Fighting Hughie is like fighting, it's like a giant.
00:14:58.000 You're not fighting him.
00:14:59.000 It's like when your kids fight their dad on mommy's bed.
00:15:03.000 He's just absorbing your punches.
00:15:07.000 If I can get one in.
00:15:09.000 But what he'll do is, my only thing I can do is hide down low, hit you in the belly and then hope an overhand right
00:15:17.000 Connects to something I can't even see so I my head's down, too So he'll just go whack and thump me so hard on the top of the head.
00:15:25.000 I can feel my spine go Like an accordion and then I'll look up as I'm passing out and he'll go Don't put your head down.
00:15:35.000 Yeah, don't put your head down now.
00:15:37.000 Is that sparring someone or is that?
00:15:40.000 working with a helper
00:15:44.000 He wasn't exactly sweating.
00:15:47.000 Don't put your head down and don't close your eyes.
00:15:49.000 Sounds like that was a huge mistake.
00:15:52.000 But the cop, I think he might be better than me, but we're in the same universe at least.
00:15:58.000 But he's fucking 300 pounds.
00:16:01.000 So what he does when he gets tired is he goes on top of me.
00:16:04.000 Smothers you.
00:16:05.000 And dude, like on a video game I could see I'm in green and I could just see the health go...
00:16:12.000 Down to a third instantly.
00:16:15.000 It's magic!
00:16:17.000 I was re-watching the Deontay Wilder fight with Tyson Fury getting ready for this Saturday.
00:16:24.000 And as I was watching it, I noticed my archenemy was in the audience.
00:16:31.000 You have hurt me today.
00:16:33.000 Oh, you gotta get that on your phone.
00:16:35.000 I send that clip out to everyone who... If someone, like, doesn't get back to me within 10 minutes of a text, I'm like, you have hurt me.
00:16:45.000 It's so much better than a GIF.
00:16:48.000 Because it's got audio.
00:16:50.000 Like I was, I'm alone in the studio.
00:16:53.000 If anyone wants to kill me, by the way, these are the days, uh, Wednesday morning and Thursday.
00:16:58.000 Cause Ryan's too lazy to come in and do any actual work.
00:17:00.000 It's quiet.
00:17:01.000 Yeah.
00:17:01.000 No, it's quiet for him.
00:17:02.000 So I'm texting my wife and I'm like, I'm alone in the studio.
00:17:07.000 If you're anywhere near the Bronx or, you know, and you want to come in wearing like high heels and a trench coat and nothing else.
00:17:16.000 And then just silence, not even, no, just like,
00:17:21.000 So then I get to send, you have hurt me today.
00:17:25.000 How can we do, not monetize per se, but... Get an app?
00:17:30.000 We should have a thing on the site where you can download all these to your phone.
00:17:36.000 And then you can say that someone's hurt you today.
00:17:39.000 Matty was hurt today.
00:17:41.000 You lost a friend.
00:17:42.000 Yes, I did, unfortunately.
00:17:44.000 Good friend of mine, Joey.
00:17:46.000 Rest in peace, ride in peace, brother.
00:17:49.000 I can't even tell you how many great times.
00:17:51.000 Sad to hear about his passing.
00:17:54.000 You know, my heart goes out to your family, your brothers, your mother, your father, your wife.
00:18:00.000 Now, when a biker dies, your brain goes, oh, it was probably all the partying and the meth and the shooting and all that stuff.
00:18:07.000 Yeah, some underlying health issues.
00:18:09.000 I don't know all the particulars, but... Well, I have a theory.
00:18:13.000 I think...
00:18:16.000 Bikers are social creatures, right?
00:18:17.000 Like Chuck Zito said, I blew my marriage because I was at the clubhouse all the time hanging out with the guys and I wasn't spending time with my daughter and my wife.
00:18:26.000 So I hereby officially believe that bikers have a network of like 400 very close friends.
00:18:35.000 And you don't fall out with them because bikers are all about loyalty and stuff.
00:18:39.000 Like, I've fallen out with all my vice friends and all that shit.
00:18:41.000 So I've had several generations of friends that are gone.
00:18:44.000 But bikers will stick together.
00:18:47.000 Even if you're kicked out of the club, you have the, like, Brothers Forever meetups.
00:18:53.000 So when you hang out with a biker, you go, holy shit, man, your friends are dropping like flies.
00:18:58.000 But it's because they have so many friends.
00:19:00.000 Yeah.
00:19:02.000 I've been to a lot of funerals.
00:19:05.000 Because if it's not heroin and so it's like sepsis and cancer and an aneurysm that just means you've got a lot of friends.
00:19:15.000 That's my theory.
00:19:16.000 Anyway did you get that picture I sent you?
00:19:19.000 So I'm watching Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury from last year the one where he got him in the ear and I think what happened in this fight is he punched Deontay Wilder so hard that it created a vacuum and when he pulled the glove away
00:19:38.000 His his eardrum basically fell out.
00:19:40.000 He had blood pouring out of his ear the whole fight.
00:19:43.000 And then with no eardrum, no equilibrium, he couldn't stand.
00:19:47.000 So he wasn't really knocked out.
00:19:48.000 He was just like in a crazy kitchen.
00:19:50.000 The ring was going like this.
00:19:51.000 So I'm watching it again because it's on, because everyone's excited about this Saturday.
00:19:56.000 Which we're not going to film, by the way.
00:19:58.000 It's it's too it's distracting.
00:20:01.000 I can't enjoy the fight when we're trying to entertain you.
00:20:03.000 But but check this out.
00:20:06.000 There's Shane Smith.
00:20:07.000 Oh.
00:20:09.000 In the second row.
00:20:12.000 And I don't recognize anyone he's with, but whenever the camera's on that particular side, there he is.
00:20:18.000 He's got these puffy eyes that us Irish get when we drink for three days straight.
00:20:24.000 But also they're white.
00:20:26.000 Like Trump's got that too.
00:20:27.000 Around the eyes white.
00:20:28.000 I think that's just the... No, that's just the TV.
00:20:31.000 But I think what's happening, those seats are not available to buy.
00:20:36.000 So I think what's happened here, the guy's blown so many millions of dollars on blackjack.
00:20:41.000 I heard he emptied his entire fortune playing blackjack.
00:20:44.000 He had to sell that big $40 million house.
00:20:46.000 Yeah, it's weird to, it's like, I don't mind if you think you're good at poker,
00:20:51.000 But if you think you're good at blackjack, you're good at coin tosses.
00:20:55.000 Sorry.
00:20:56.000 You can't be good at blackjack.
00:20:58.000 But he's a great salesman.
00:21:00.000 And salesmen have selective memory.
00:21:02.000 So when they're out selling, and nine people say, fuck you, I don't want vice, it sucks.
00:21:07.000 That just dissolves into the air.
00:21:11.000 It's a talent I don't have.
00:21:12.000 Someone says something I'm working on sucks, I want to close their throat.
00:21:17.000 And that's why I can never do sales, because I'd be like, hey, you want to get involved in censored.tv?
00:21:21.000 No.
00:21:22.000 Fuck you.
00:21:28.000 Footage of Gavin after he knew, thank you.
00:21:30.000 My dad had the same problem.
00:21:31.000 He retired from his business and they started a company called GKL.
00:21:35.000 Gavin Kyle Lorraine.
00:21:37.000 Me, my brother, my mother.
00:21:38.000 And he would do, he had all the clients.
00:21:40.000 He'd been doing, building fucking military shit his whole life.
00:21:44.000 And he would go out and try to get contracts.
00:21:46.000 And they'd say, oh, I don't know, Jim.
00:21:47.000 I don't know if we're going to do that.
00:21:48.000 And you just go, see you all fucking bar you so well.
00:21:53.000 Company tanked in like a couple months.
00:21:56.000 It's too sensitive.
00:21:56.000 But anyway, so I think Shane has selective memories.
00:22:00.000 He thinks he's good at blackjack and he probably spent so many millions that wherever that was, I forget where it was in Las Vegas, they're like, let's put our whales.
00:22:09.000 This is the whale section.
00:22:11.000 The people that have spent $10 million.
00:22:13.000 Yeah.
00:22:15.000 They get a special section.
00:22:16.000 Five seats each.
00:22:18.000 Whatever you want.
00:22:18.000 Hey, wait a minute.
00:22:19.000 The guy with the beard behind him looks like that dude who is like ex-military who has all those chicks on his Instagram where he's got like 19 girlfriends.
00:22:30.000 Oh, he's all tatted up.
00:22:31.000 He's all tatted up.
00:22:32.000 He's about working out and get pussy.
00:22:34.000 He's married now.
00:22:35.000 That's Matt Best.
00:22:36.000 Matt Best?
00:22:38.000 That might be Matt Best behind him.
00:22:40.000 Could be.
00:22:41.000 Who's your money on for this Saturday?
00:22:44.000 I don't know.
00:22:45.000 Yeah, I would go with...
00:22:54.000 He's an Irish traveler.
00:22:55.000 He's a fucking gypsy.
00:22:57.000 You know what age they start fighting?
00:23:00.000 Negative four months.
00:23:04.000 Their embryos fight.
00:23:05.000 They get blows in the stomach.
00:23:09.000 The only thing tougher than an Irish traveler is a gay Irish traveler.
00:23:15.000 Because they get beaten by their fathers for being gay the second they fucking say, show tunes don't suck.
00:23:24.000 All right, our second sponsor for the show before we leave you is JohnnyAppleCBD.com.
00:23:33.000 CBD!
00:23:34.000 These guys have been with us since day one.
00:23:36.000 Use promo code Gavin, you get 20% off.
00:23:39.000 Now pot we assume is a drug that hippies take to get to have orgies and and and go to rallies foment revolution and then someone took the THC out of it and they went actually
00:23:55.000 The high part is just the tip of the iceberg.
00:23:57.000 It actually is as magic as these weirdo hippies with the hemp pants say.
00:24:02.000 This is totally legal weed with no THC and we've discovered that there's all kinds of magical properties.
00:24:10.000 Come on now, dawg.
00:24:11.000 No, really.
00:24:13.000 Come on, man.
00:24:14.000 I'm serious!
00:24:16.000 Whatever that guy's name is.
00:24:18.000 And we discovered his name recently, right?
00:24:20.000 Little Boozy?
00:24:21.000 Little Boozy?
00:24:23.000 The CBD, you put that on your joints after working out too hard, sore muscles, magically the pain goes away.
00:24:31.000 You put some of it in your coffee.
00:24:33.000 Again, this is not pot.
00:24:35.000 It's potless pot.
00:24:37.000 You put the tincture in your coffee, in your drink, in your tea, all of a sudden the anxiety is gone.
00:24:43.000 The gummies at night, you start worrying about your life.
00:24:47.000 Oh no, what if I get sued?
00:24:49.000 Some people are trying to kill me.
00:24:50.000 My late night evenings are probably a little more intense than yours, but you don't have to worry about credible death threats the FBI warned you about.
00:24:58.000 But the gummies take that away!
00:25:03.000 And then there's all kinds of shit I haven't even tried yet.
00:25:06.000 Like I've tried the tinctures, the gummies, the CBD ointment, the topical cream.
00:25:11.000 You know, my wife was wearing stilettos one night when we went out and I was like, finally, I've been begging you to do this forever.
00:25:18.000 Are you going to start wearing them around the house?
00:25:20.000 And she's like, I put CBD on my feet.
00:25:27.000 Uh, and she was dancing around like she was wearing Nikes.
00:25:30.000 Nikes.
00:25:31.000 Which is short, obviously, for the long-term name, Nikel.
00:25:35.000 Oh, I ruined the joke by saying long-term.
00:25:36.000 What's that?
00:25:37.000 Say that again?
00:25:37.000 I think I'm getting drunk, folks.
00:25:43.000 The jokes are losing their edge.
00:25:45.000 So yeah, JACBD.com, JohnnyApple.com, they both work.
00:25:50.000 Promo code Gavin, 20% off.
00:25:53.000 Topicals, cartridges, vapes.
00:25:56.000 You've tried the vape, right?
00:25:57.000 Mm-hmm.
00:25:58.000 How does that make you feel?
00:25:59.000 I like the tinctures more, because I'm picky about my vapes.
00:26:01.000 It'd be funny if you went, really shitty, I puked.
00:26:05.000 And I grew tits, so we don't endorse that.
00:26:10.000 No, the vape is okay, but really where it's at for me, they have a new vape.
00:26:15.000 I'm gonna be if the ad guy can send one to us, but look at this, no buttons.
00:26:19.000 You just inhale and relax.
00:26:21.000 Oh, fun.
00:26:21.000 But I like the tinctures.
00:26:22.000 They taste good, it's like an oil type thing, and it comes on really quick.
00:26:25.000 You hold it in the bottom of your mouth for a little bit, then you feel like relaxed, like good, but not high.
00:26:30.000 Last question, when you're at your university and you're at a party and girls are drunk and they're flirting with you and they make out with you, isn't that pedophilia?
00:26:39.000 Isn't that illegal because you're 12?
00:26:43.000 You're saying because I look young that any sort of act of sexuality towards me would then be illegal?
00:26:48.000 Well, you're going to one of the most prestigious Ivy League schools in the country and you're 12.
00:26:53.000 I'm 32 years old, I just look younger because I shaved my mustache.
00:26:57.000 Oh, I didn't even notice that!
00:26:58.000 That's another thing!
00:26:59.000 You didn't notice that?
00:27:00.000 You dipped your head in uncool sauce.
00:27:03.000 No, it's very cool.
00:27:04.000 Like a fucking piece of onion, and you came out shitty and boring.
00:27:09.000 It's cool.
00:27:10.000 Piece of onion?
00:27:11.000 I don't like looking like a regular Asian, but let me tell you what.
00:27:13.000 Growing my poof that you hate so much, I'm gonna get it back, but you have to start from zero.
00:27:19.000 You can't just start with a mullet.
00:27:20.000 No, I know what you're saying.
00:27:21.000 I was growing it out because I wanted to have this Pendleton look.
00:27:25.000 Yeah.
00:27:26.000 This winter but I'd have to put so much grease in my fro that my glasses were covered in grease and they'd be slipping out of my hands and then the beard I was always playing with it.
00:27:36.000 It didn't feel like a man.
00:27:38.000 You don't feel like a man when you have too much shit on your head.
00:27:40.000 Remember Ty Richards?
00:27:41.000 He had beautiful locks that made him look like a rock star.
00:27:44.000 He was a lock star.
00:27:46.000 Yeah, I don't call men with long hair beautiful, but I get you.
00:27:49.000 Gorgeous.
00:27:50.000 And he cut it all because he was like, you know, shampooing and conditioning your hair and like drying it and combing it.
00:27:55.000 It's fucking gay.
00:27:56.000 Well, it's like, I have six kids.
00:27:57.000 We're not, we don't irrationally hate man buns.
00:28:01.000 We hate that you're carrying something around, a hairy fanny pack on your head that you could easily just go.
00:28:07.000 Like if something's in your way, you don't put it in a bun, you cut it off.
00:28:14.000 So I did it.
00:28:15.000 And you did it.
00:28:15.000 All right.
00:28:16.000 Yeah, but you lost your fun.
00:28:19.000 You got to do something kooky, dude.
00:28:20.000 Well, I got muscles.
00:28:22.000 The muscles throw, you know, throw in a whole new realm.
00:28:25.000 Let's see your guns.
00:28:26.000 Okay.
00:28:27.000 Watch out everybody.
00:28:31.000 And I have a good pecs too now today.
00:28:34.000 Today.
00:28:35.000 Cause I worked out today.
00:28:36.000 My pecs look pretty big.
00:28:39.000 But I'm not done yet.
00:28:40.000 Alright.
00:28:44.000 I hope this doesn't discourage anyone from subscribing to censored.tv who has been listening to it.
00:28:49.000 We, we were, you know, a lot of people say that guy's on coke when he does the show and he's fucking up and he's on math and blah blah.
00:28:56.000 This is one of the only episodes where we actually were on coke.
00:29:00.000 So most of the time when you say that, it's just because we had a large coffee.
00:29:05.000 I don't think it's that different.
00:29:06.000 In fact, as far as the jokes not landing, I would blame my attorney, Mr. Booze, here and his sidekick, Bourbon.
00:29:15.000 But please subscribe to Censored.TV.
00:29:17.000 We've got a lot of stuff coming in the fall.
00:29:20.000 Some exciting stuff I can't tell you about right now until it's confirmed.
00:29:23.000 But new contributors.
00:29:24.000 When we started this show out, it was just me.
00:29:27.000 And it was an hour and 20 minutes a day, four days a week.
00:29:31.000 Now, there's at least four or five hours of shows every single fucking day.
00:29:38.000 We have, I don't even know, 25, 30 different shows on, and it's still 10 bucks a month.
00:29:45.000 It's still a beer and a shot a month.
00:29:48.000 Actually, today I went to our local.
00:29:51.000 I got a bud and he opens me up another one.
00:29:54.000 I'm like, dude, I gotta go.
00:29:55.000 I gotta, I gotta do the show.
00:29:57.000 He's like, ah, shit.
00:29:58.000 I'll give this to Joe Tonelli.
00:29:58.000 All right.
00:30:00.000 Um, and then I go, can I do a shot of a fireball before I leave?
00:30:05.000 He's like, yeah, sure.
00:30:07.000 And then he goes, just give me 13, whatever.
00:30:11.000 Did you realize fireballs are $8?
00:30:16.000 I was about to walk out with five as my bill.
00:30:20.000 I did one little thing of fucking cough syrup that's available at CVS.
00:30:25.000 I don't even think it's booze.
00:30:26.000 I think it's malt liquor.
00:30:27.000 Yup.
00:30:28.000 It's at CVS.
00:30:30.000 Oh, I know.
00:30:31.000 It's the only booze I've ever seen at CVS.
00:30:34.000 Jameson is not at CVS.
00:30:36.000 No, because it's not real booze.
00:30:38.000 It's malt liquor.
00:30:39.000 Eight dollars?
00:30:41.000 That's a steep price.
00:30:44.000 Like, I pay $10 for picklebacks and stuff.
00:30:46.000 I love picklebacks.
00:30:46.000 But that's full of bourbon.
00:30:48.000 Yeah, I'll get elaborate.
00:30:49.000 I don't mind paying $8 for a Maker's on the Rocks.
00:30:53.000 Right.
00:30:54.000 But $8 for CVS juice?
00:30:57.000 Anyway.
00:30:57.000 You know what's a good teaser?
00:30:59.000 Is that we have a thing, when you're part of Sensor TV, that you understand what the bird, which is the bald eagle, is.
00:31:05.000 And we have really exciting people lined up that had said it.
00:31:08.000 People are tricking people into saying it.
00:31:10.000 Not just random women doing makeup.
00:31:12.000 Wow, I can't believe I'm high and drunk and I'm better at explaining things than you.
00:31:17.000 Ryan, people who are listening to this show free as a podcast have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
00:31:23.000 Let me go back a couple steps.
00:31:24.000 Sure.
00:31:25.000 George Floyd, a redundant piece of shit who became a saint, saint shit I guess I would call him, has a brother that's even stupider than him.
00:31:35.000 What's his name?
00:31:36.000 His name is a negative adjective called felonious.
00:31:42.000 Thelonious is linked to the word felon.
00:31:45.000 It means bat.
00:31:46.000 But they took Phil and added Oneus without even looking it up.
00:31:51.000 So his name is literally Thelonious.
00:31:55.000 And his lawyer said, look man, this lawyer, by the way, just so you know I'm not racist, his lawyer is a very black man.
00:32:03.000 And his smart black lawyer said, look, here's the deal.
00:32:06.000 We got to start saying to people, why is there an endangered list for animals and not for people?
00:32:15.000 Why is the bald eagle on the endangered list, yet George Floyd is not?
00:32:20.000 The black man is not.
00:32:21.000 He's like, okay, how do I say that?
00:32:24.000 It's like, okay, let me make this very simple.
00:32:29.000 Why was the bald eagle on the endangered list, but my brother was not?
00:32:36.000 Let's try that.
00:32:38.000 And Flonis is like, got it.
00:32:40.000 So he gets on the news and he goes, how, how come there is an endangered list for the bird, which is the bald eagle.
00:32:50.000 Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.
00:32:55.000 Clearly showing that he's never heard of a bald eagle before.
00:33:00.000 And we noticed, by the way, recently that they're not bald.
00:33:04.000 And you can see the heartbreak in his lawyer's eyes when he said that.
00:33:08.000 Because you know they went through it, I'm going to say 30 times?
00:33:12.000 Easy.
00:33:12.000 It gets insulting if you do it too many times, right?
00:33:16.000 So, no more than 40.
00:33:17.000 700 billion and 1,300,000,000.
00:33:23.000 Take the bird, which is the wild eagle.
00:33:31.000 Matty has a horrible temper and he's not a tall guy.
00:33:34.000 So he was known in prison as Baby Monster.
00:33:37.000 Lady Gaga calls her fans her monsters.
00:33:41.000 So we call our quote-unquote fans Baby Monsters as a parody of the whole concept of naming your fans and it's a fuck you to Lady Gaga in a sense.
00:33:50.000 That's true.
00:33:51.000 Not a fuck you, you know what I mean.
00:33:54.000 So the Baby Monsters have been going on various TikToks and cameo even.
00:34:00.000 And getting people to say the bird which is the bald eagle.
00:34:03.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.
00:34:07.000 And so after we go behind the paywall we're going to be showing you some celebrities saying the bird which is the bald eagle because it's become our mantra.
00:34:16.000 I think we should make bumper stickers and t-shirts.
00:34:19.000 Oh my god I was thinking about getting a tattoo and just not even saying anything but I was like that's too much.
00:34:24.000 No that's my night.
00:34:25.000 Let's put
00:34:26.000 That'll be a good episode of the show.
00:34:27.000 Oh my god.
00:34:28.000 Matty, are you in?
00:34:29.000 I'm in.
00:34:29.000 Oh my god.
00:34:30.000 I don't know if it's the booze talking, but the three of us are going to go to a tattoo shop and get the bird which is the bald eagle.
00:34:38.000 I want a picture of a bald eagle in it too.
00:34:41.000 I want it to be a sick ass tattoo.
00:34:43.000 We can all get different designs.
00:34:44.000 Oh yeah, we have to get different designs for sure.
00:34:45.000 Hell yeah.
00:34:46.000 But I think I want to get a bald eagle that's bald.
00:34:49.000 No, no, no feathers.
00:34:51.000 No feathers on his head or people go, that's not what a bald eagle looks like.
00:34:54.000 And I go, yeah, I'm fucking pissed about it.
00:34:56.000 We don't give a damn.
00:34:57.000 The guy.
00:34:59.000 It's like my my eldest boy, when he was a little kid, he told me that Pinocchio's friend was named Crickety Cricket.
00:35:06.000 And I loved him hearing him say that.
00:35:08.000 And I'd always bug him.
00:35:09.000 I go, I'm sorry to keep asking you this, but Pinocchio's friend, the cricket.
00:35:15.000 It's like, why?
00:35:16.000 Why do we keep going?
00:35:18.000 Crickety Cricket was his name.
00:35:20.000 I go, oh yeah, thanks.
00:35:21.000 So I got a tattoo that says Crickety Cricket with a little top hat.
00:35:26.000 And then when he turned about seven, he's like, I got some bad news for you, Dad.
00:35:30.000 I was wrong.
00:35:32.000 It's Jiminy Cricket.
00:35:34.000 And I was like, oh, great.
00:35:36.000 Thanks a lot.
00:35:38.000 I got Crickety Cricket on me for the rest of my life.
00:35:40.000 Guilt trip.
00:35:43.000 Alright, so that's it folks.
00:35:44.000 We're going behind the paywall now.
00:35:45.000 Thank you to Tactical Walls.
00:35:47.000 Thank you to Johnny Apple CBD.
00:35:49.000 You guys are missing out on a very fun show.
00:35:51.000 We're going to be taking calls.
00:35:52.000 Oh, we're going to be reading viewer mail.
00:35:55.000 After the bird, which is the bald eagle, then we're going to be taking calls, and it's going to be a wild ride, and this is just one episode out of four a week of my show.
00:36:05.000 No, five a week of my show, and then umpteen other fucking shows to tickle your soul.
00:36:11.000 About 45 shows.
00:36:13.000 So yeah, goodbye, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:36:45.000 Never think that far!