Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #120 - MAIL FOR MATTY

00:00:45.000 Guys, wear a mask, okay? 1.00

00:00:49.000 Stop being stupid and selfish. 1.00

00:00:51.000 Wear a mask. 1.00

00:00:53.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:00:55.000 Is it so hard? 1.00

00:00:57.000 Is it so hard to have your glasses fog up for a disease that has really just stopped killing people?

00:01:04.000 I got a message from some chick today about this new movement to fight the masks.

00:01:09.000 What was her name again?

00:01:11.000 She's got a soccer player name. 0.99

00:01:13.000 I know this isn't a great introduction to the show, but bear with me, folks.

00:01:18.000 Her name was Fuggin Fuggin.

00:01:28.000 I forget her name.

00:01:29.000 Elise is a soccer name. 0.98

00:01:31.000 What?

00:01:32.000 Is it Elise?

00:01:33.000 No, it's like Gabriella Streif or something.

00:01:36.000 But Restore Freedom.

00:01:38.000 So she's pushing this thing.

00:01:39.000 Look it up, Brian, or I can send it to you.

00:01:42.000 Restore Freedom 02.

00:01:43.000 It's got 36 views.

00:01:46.000 And their thing is they want to burn on November 3rd, 2021, post a video safely trashing your mask to rumble.com.

00:01:56.000 Include the hashtag in the video description and send a link to RestoreFreedomStrike at ProtonMail.com.

00:02:03.000 Restore Freedom.

00:02:04.000 And the hashtag is trash your mask, all one word.

00:02:08.000 Restore Freedom. 0.95

00:02:12.000 Catherine Henry.

00:02:13.000 Well, that's not who I spoke to, but maybe it's the same thing.

00:02:16.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:02:18.000 A tangential way to introduce the show.

00:02:20.000 That was the Datsuns.

00:02:21.000 What was the song?

00:02:22.000 I Am the I?

00:02:23.000 Yes.

00:02:23.000 We are wearing the Out for Bud shirt that features a Gavin werewolf drinking a Budweiser.

00:02:29.000 We have Maddie O'Dell.

00:02:31.000 What's up, everybody?

00:02:33.000 Maddie O'Dell on the mic.

00:02:35.000 Check, check, check.

00:02:37.000 And you know how it works here.

00:02:39.000 We are live and free for the first half hour of the show.

00:02:44.000 Then we go through the viewer mail. 0.99

00:02:46.000 Shit, I forgot my computer. 0.99

00:02:48.000 And then we take some calls. 0.99

00:02:52.000 But the freeloaders don't get any of that fun stuff.

00:02:55.000 The freeloaders only get the first half hour. 1.00

00:02:57.000 So fuck you. 1.00

00:03:00.000 But before we get started with that, let us introduce Tactical Walls, a veteran-owned company built in America, made in America. 1.00

00:03:12.000 These are, we have them here in the studio.

00:03:14.000 Now, unfortunately, we live in New York City.

00:03:16.000 We're here in the South Bronx where you're not allowed to have anything.

00:03:19.000 Fun.

00:03:20.000 So our mod wall features motorcycle helmets, hats, jackets, microphones.

00:03:27.000 Ryan's mod wall is a cacophony. 0.83

00:03:33.000 It is an absolute fucking mess of strangely folded shirts that sit halfway on a shelf, which I've never seen before. 0.97

00:03:42.000 I don't think anyone has. 0.96

00:03:43.000 Matty, have you ever seen a shirt displayed like that before?

00:03:46.000 No, that's the first time I've seen that.

00:03:48.000 I'm an innovator.

00:03:50.000 Yeah, that's one way to put it.

00:03:52.000 You're an innovator.

00:03:52.000 You're an innovator, too, at your green cobwebs.

00:03:55.000 I don't know what's going on with that.

00:03:57.000 I love your display, Ryan, because when I insult you, people go, that guy's mean.

00:04:03.000 He's picking on that poor Asian shirt.

00:04:05.000 I love the 1987 Hawaii vacation airbrushed.

00:04:10.000 That's his brand.

00:04:11.000 Nope, yup.

00:04:12.000 That's his brand.

00:04:13.000 Okay.

00:04:13.000 I don't know what it is.

00:04:15.000 I don't know what it means.

00:04:16.000 It's my cool music.

00:04:18.000 Okay, that's his cool music. 0.97

00:04:20.000 So when you look at his mod wall that he basically has abused tactical walls with, you see how retarded he is and you don't think I'm mean anymore because you go, oh, that's his brain. 0.99

00:04:31.000 It's a mess. 0.99

00:04:33.000 Your whole office is disgusting. 0.99

00:04:35.000 Look at it. 0.99

00:04:36.000 Like, what's the Jets bag?

00:04:40.000 The Jets bag.

00:04:41.000 You don't even know.

00:04:45.000 I don't know.

00:04:47.000 You don't know.

00:04:48.000 No.

00:04:49.000 You have a New York Jets tote, kind of a vinyl bag, just sitting there on its side.

00:04:55.000 Plenty of bags.

00:04:55.000 There's like seven totes on their side.

00:04:58.000 You don't even know what that is.

00:05:00.000 Totes.

00:05:01.000 Totes don't, actually.

00:05:03.000 So anyway, the beauty of Tactical Walls is you can display your guns, show all kinds of cool stuff. 1.00

00:05:10.000 And if you're an absolute imbecile, you can show the world how stupid you are. 0.99

00:05:14.000 TacticalWalls.com, best products in America, Tactical Walls, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders. 1.00

00:05:21.000 That is tacticalwalls.com.

00:05:24.000 You know how to spell tactical, right?

00:05:27.000 Promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.

00:05:31.000 We are doing Christmas giveaways, so get in touch with them.

00:05:35.000 We've got some booze treats here. 0.98

00:05:38.000 I've got a shot of makers, I think, or bullet?

00:05:41.000 Bullet. 0.94

00:05:42.000 Bullet Barbie. 0.99

00:05:43.000 A shot of bullet and then a pint of...

00:05:46.000 It's not really flat beer, but it's the bottom of the keg.

00:05:49.000 Bottom of the keg.

00:05:51.000 I was going to ask you today if you could bring the truck by and we could go to the store.

00:05:56.000 Did I tell you when I got that first keg? 0.98

00:05:58.000 I go in there, you know that big keg place by the other bar?

00:06:01.000 Uh-huh.

00:06:03.000 And I talk to a young man, millennial, and I go, I'm looking for a keg, Budweiser.

00:06:11.000 And he goes, oh, I'm not sure we have Budweiser. 0.63

00:06:14.000 And then he takes me over to a fridge where, you know those dumb like college party kegs that are the size of a basketball? 0.89

00:06:20.000 Yeah. 0.84

00:06:20.000 He goes, I think we have Stella and Heineken. 0.84

00:06:24.000 And I go, what?

00:06:26.000 Those are beer balls.

00:06:27.000 I drove all the way out here for a basketball?

00:06:32.000 Meanwhile, those things are like 20 beers.

00:06:36.000 Yeah, they're beer balls or less.

00:06:38.000 They're not a lot, yeah.

00:06:40.000 So then the owner is walking by, and I go, So, this is what you call a keg. 0.95

00:06:45.000 And the owner takes the kid, who I'm going to say is 20, and he goes, What do you do? 0.98

00:06:51.000 What the fucking, what do you do? 0.99

00:06:54.000 Who the fucking? 1.00

00:06:56.000 And I say to him, I go, I'm looking for a keg. 1.00

00:06:59.000 I have a kegerator.

00:07:01.000 I need a keg, a half keg, I think they're called. 0.70

00:07:04.000 And he's like, yeah, follow me.

00:07:05.000 And he goes, come here, to the kid.

00:07:09.000 And we go over to a room that's as big as this studio, at least.

00:07:14.000 Maybe more.

00:07:15.000 Giant sign on top that says, kegs. 1.00

00:07:21.000 The fuck? 1.00

00:07:23.000 Millennial. 1.00

00:07:26.000 Like, you come there every day.

00:07:28.000 You work there.

00:07:29.000 You work there.

00:07:30.000 It's a huge room.

00:07:31.000 It's as big as the store. 1.00

00:07:34.000 There's the store in the front with all the shelves of bullshit IPA faggotry. 1.00

00:07:38.000 But then there's the kegs in the back. 0.99

00:07:45.000 I can't lean forward or I turn into the hunchback of Notre Dame.

00:07:48.000 Look at this, the back of my shirt.

00:07:51.000 You don't do that, Maddie.

00:07:54.000 I think you have much better posture than me. 0.99

00:07:56.000 When I'm normal, my shirt has like a pussy lip. 1.00

00:08:00.000 It's got a little rim in the back there. 0.99

00:08:01.000 Yeah, I can't.

00:08:02.000 That's not a good look.

00:08:03.000 But that's not the fault of the shirt, which you can buy.

00:08:06.000 Which you can buy.

00:08:07.000 And also, you should notice, by the way, we always wear our own shirts on Thursday nights.

00:08:12.000 This is pre-washed.

00:08:14.000 So you're seeing our shirts not at their peak, because shirts, everything that you buy as far as clothing goes, is better after one wash.

00:08:24.000 Except maybe a jacket.

00:08:26.000 So yeah, we should probably have washed these.

00:08:28.000 But we have an all-new picks up.

00:08:30.000 New shirts coming.

00:08:31.000 And of course, our favorite shirts, Let's Go Brandon.

00:08:36.000 Presently available with an apostrophe.

00:08:40.000 There's only two shirts made without the apostrophe.

00:08:43.000 And I guess we'll auction those off.

00:08:44.000 Maybe at the, we're having a big telethon on December 17th.

00:08:50.000 What if we signed the shirts as apostrophes?

00:08:52.000 We signed it between the T and the S in the shape of an apostrophe.

00:08:57.000 With what, a micro laser?

00:09:01.000 No, just a regular small.

00:09:03.000 Ryan, the apostrophe that's requisite on that typo is approximately a quarter inch high and an eighth of an inch wide.

00:09:13.000 What are you signing Ryan Katsu Rivera with?

00:09:17.000 We can get it.

00:09:17.000 A nuclear pen?

00:09:19.000 Just the initials?

00:09:21.000 Oh, yay.

00:09:22.000 This guy's.

00:09:23.000 Make your mark.

00:09:25.000 We're already 15 minutes into the show, if you can believe that.

00:09:29.000 Okay, it's only 10 minutes.

00:09:32.000 Before I get to the next sponsor at 15 minutes in, I went to the Silwa Eric Adams debate last night at a bar of the playwright in New York City after Compound censored. 0.99

00:09:48.000 What a shit show. 0.97

00:09:51.000 Eric Adams is the bad guy from Princess and the Frog. 1.00

00:09:57.000 I think his name is Dr. Felicitus.

00:10:02.000 You would know this, Ryan.

00:10:04.000 No.

00:10:05.000 Oh, you don't have the Princess and the Frog memorized?

00:10:09.000 Look up bad guy from Princess and Frog.

00:10:12.000 Felicius Felicius?

00:10:15.000 Felonius?

00:10:17.000 That guy.

00:10:18.000 He's got this really irritating smirk on him the whole time.

00:10:23.000 And his big gotcha with Curtis is that Curtis faked a crime so he could look like a hero.

00:10:31.000 Which is a hell of a gotcha if it were true.

00:10:35.000 But it's not true.

00:10:37.000 So his whole thing, and it might work, is that Curtis lied about a crime, made up a fake crime.

00:10:46.000 And he kept calling him fake crimes, fake crimes.

00:10:48.000 Curtis didn't come back hard enough against him, I believe.

00:10:52.000 But anyway, we showed up there.

00:10:54.000 We weren't on the guest list.

00:10:56.000 It was Curtis campaign workers only.

00:11:01.000 And they knew who I was.

00:11:02.000 They go, you're the guy with the plastic swords, meaning the Otoya Yamaguchi thing on October 12th.

00:11:10.000 And then I think we had a weird scene where it was like, I like you, dude, but I'm not sure you're good for the campaign.

00:11:18.000 I don't know if I want you photographed here.

00:11:22.000 And then we were talking.

00:11:23.000 I talked to one of the guys.

00:11:24.000 I go, what if I endorse Eric Adams?

00:11:28.000 And he was like, please, please do that.

00:11:32.000 Proud Boys founder endorses Eric Adams.

00:11:36.000 He follows our values.

00:11:40.000 We should do that.

00:11:42.000 I'll do it.

00:11:43.000 Anyway, I go there with Gino Biscante, the loudest WOP in the world.

00:11:51.000 And we're doing shots.

00:11:53.000 And I'm used to doing shots at my bar with Maddie where the corrupt Irishman dilutes them so much that you do five shots and you feel great.

00:12:00.000 I do shots in the city and I have to lie down in the bathroom because they have alcohol in them, which I'm not, my body's not used to. 0.98

00:12:09.000 So Gino's fucking yelling out and he's clapping, yeah! 0.98

00:12:14.000 And sometimes he gets it wrong. 0.99

00:12:17.000 So they're like, this city needs more law enforcement and we need to get back to what it was.

00:12:24.000 And he's like, yeah, in the 80s.

00:12:28.000 It's like, Gino, it was bad in the 80s.

00:12:32.000 We're going for like Giuliani, like late 90s, early aughts.

00:12:39.000 So Curtis's campaign people eventually filtered out.

00:12:43.000 They decided to watch it back at HQ because I think Gino and I were bad for the brand.

00:12:48.000 Gino is bad for the human brand.

00:12:54.000 And the other funny thing, too, was it was so overlit that he looked like he had just washed his face after doing the Blue Man group.

00:13:04.000 Eric Adams was 80% blue.

00:13:07.000 He was such a good man.

00:13:10.000 You know, Curtis wants to build the seawall.

00:13:12.000 He's very trumpy.

00:13:15.000 What's a seawall? 0.99

00:13:16.000 No cunts allowed?

00:13:17.000 No, like when Hurricane Sandy hit and all that. 0.97

00:13:20.000 Oh, SEA.

00:13:21.000 Yeah.

00:13:22.000 On a regular basis.

00:13:24.000 Get those sea walls built up and make sure that areas are designated a flood zone so they can collect those.

00:13:32.000 I'll give you a few seconds to respond.

00:13:33.000 David, let's be clear.

00:13:35.000 Seawalls would not have stopped this storm, but you had to be out there moving through the city, helping people to realize that this was rain.

00:13:42.000 This had nothing to do with sea walls.

00:13:44.000 If we keep thinking antiquated methods to a modern problem...

00:13:48.000 What does that mean?

00:13:50.000 Rain is a modern problem?

00:13:52.000 Nothing about modern problems is a modern problem.

00:13:55.000 This new rain everyone's been talking about.

00:13:57.000 This new problem with rain.

00:13:59.000 I can't believe Ryan brought up something I haven't thought of before.

00:14:01.000 I might be drinking too much.

00:14:03.000 Here's a good clip of Eric Adams being a tattletale snitchy McBoner pants that you just want to punch in his head and expand throughout that educational experience.

00:14:12.000 Thank you, Mr. Adams.

00:14:14.000 Instead of focusing just on academic excellence, we need to focus at a much earlier age for our children, vocational training.

00:14:22.000 Such a command for the carpenters, electricians, plumbers, programmers, and hopefully we have attendance.

00:14:29.000 Okay, thank you.

00:14:30.000 We have to keep going.

00:14:31.000 I have a few voice all the time that we continue to lie.

00:14:34.000 I'm going to follow the rules.

00:14:35.000 Can he please adhere to the rules that you set up today?

00:14:38.000 What are we?

00:14:38.000 We're adhering to the rules, Mr. Adams, and we're discretionary, give you a chance to respond.

00:14:41.000 We vote, but we can't.

00:14:42.000 I guess he's got a trillion rules.

00:14:47.000 Doesn't that remind you of that kid that like, I'm trying to participate, but Ryan's distracting me with his jokes? 1.00

00:14:53.000 I'm like, you're fucking. 0.99

00:14:55.000 As someone who endorses Eric Adams, I know there's a lot of criticism where they say he was a member of the 100 black officers thing, and though he was a cop, he was actually just a transit cop, and he was always bitching and moaning and suing. 1.00

00:15:06.000 That's not true.

00:15:08.000 I mean, it might be true.

00:15:09.000 But what's more important is that Eric Adams is here for New York City.

00:15:14.000 And he is the change we need.

00:15:17.000 And he is also, not only is he a cop, but he is a person of color, a man of color.

00:15:26.000 There's a lot of criticism against him. 0.99

00:15:29.000 Holy shit, I just barfed. 0.99

00:15:30.000 Ew. 1.00

00:15:32.000 I just barfed while bullshitting. 0.99

00:15:34.000 You've hurt me today. 0.98

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00:16:01.000 Check out Beard Vet and tell them Gavin sent you.

00:16:05.000 Sean, the owner of Beard Vet, is one of us.

00:16:06.000 He's a good egg.

00:16:07.000 We like him more than a friend.

00:16:08.000 Like most of our sponsors, BeardVet is a veteran-owned company and operated by Vets.

00:16:14.000 We support them.

00:16:15.000 They support us.

00:16:16.000 Remember, when you hear these sponsors, folks, these are people who are getting pressured not to sponsor the show.

00:16:23.000 They're not just randomly picking this show.

00:16:26.000 They're picking this show on purpose.

00:16:28.000 They're picking this show because they support it.

00:16:30.000 They support free speech and they support you.

00:16:34.000 So you should support them.

00:16:37.000 Let's return the favor and go to beardvet.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off all orders, plus Christmas giveaways.

00:16:48.000 What do you make of that, Ryan?

00:16:50.000 I think that's friggin cool.

00:16:51.000 Don't you?

00:16:52.000 Awesome.

00:16:53.000 One more thing before I forget.

00:16:55.000 They asked him, will they be filling the quotas for black and Latino?

00:17:00.000 Mr. Sliwa?

00:17:01.000 And Sliwa said no.

00:17:02.000 Absolutely.

00:17:04.000 He said, no, we're just going to, the best guy for the job, we're just going to have that guy do it.

00:17:09.000 There's going to be no quotas or nothing like that.

00:17:12.000 But there's another good slam that what's his face did?

00:17:16.000 Curtis Sliwa?

00:17:18.000 And that's the last highlight.

00:17:20.000 Just follow me in the streets and subways.

00:17:23.000 I'm there.

00:17:24.000 I'm the people's choice.

00:17:25.000 Eric Adams is with the elites in the suites, the TikTok girls, trying to sort of live up to the Kardashians at Club Zero Bond.

00:17:33.000 Come on, Eric.

00:17:34.000 Come back.

00:17:35.000 Come back to the streets and the subways.

00:17:37.000 Be with the real peeps.

00:17:39.000 Earn the trust.

00:17:40.000 Pretty good.

00:17:42.000 That was a good slam.

00:17:43.000 Yep.

00:17:44.000 And he was respectful.

00:17:46.000 He wasn't grumpy and hateful like the other guy was.

00:17:48.000 He wouldn't talk to him.

00:17:49.000 He wouldn't look at him.

00:17:50.000 And then another thing, he wouldn't even shake his hand.

00:17:53.000 He's a disrespectful guy, this Eric Adams. 1.00

00:17:55.000 He's a piece of crap. 1.00

00:17:57.000 You sound very New York. 1.00

00:17:59.000 Disrespectful guy, this Eric Adams. 1.00

00:18:00.000 He's a piece of crap. 1.00

00:18:01.000 He's got no respect. 1.00

00:18:05.000 Okay.

00:18:05.000 Is that it, Ryan?

00:18:06.000 That's it for the Sleewa. 0.95

00:18:08.000 Okay, we're done with Sleewa.

00:18:09.000 Yep.

00:18:10.000 What do you think, Maddie?

00:18:11.000 Who are you voting for?

00:18:14.000 Sleewa.

00:18:15.000 I think he, because everyone knows his history on crime, and crime in New York right now is just so out of control.

00:18:21.000 But aren't you a criminal?

00:18:23.000 Yeah.

00:18:24.000 I used to be.

00:18:27.000 I used to be, but I am now, too.

00:18:29.000 Wait, what does Mitch Hepburg say?

00:18:31.000 I used to be.

00:18:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:32.000 No, Mitch Hedberg goes, I used to do drugs.

00:18:34.000 I still do, but I also used to do them.

00:18:37.000 So wait a minute.

00:18:38.000 Now that you're not a criminal, you want us to crack down on crime?

00:18:41.000 Well, I mean, I mean, I'm not for one, like, people are bugging people and, you know, agent bashing all that.

00:18:50.000 Like, violent crime is not good for you.

00:18:53.000 You were never a violent crime.

00:18:54.000 You were a meth and pill dealer.

00:18:57.000 Yeah, I have a few fights and assault and gun crime.

00:19:03.000 So we don't crack down on those?

00:19:07.000 They should make all drugs legal.

00:19:09.000 Okay, what about violent assault?

00:19:10.000 Didn't you beat up a cop?

00:19:13.000 More than one, yeah.

00:19:15.000 Should we crack down on that?

00:19:16.000 I think we should crack down on that.

00:19:18.000 Yeah, it's not, I was frowned upon.

00:19:21.000 Well, the beauty of when that, I don't know which time we're talking about, but the beauty of the old days was you beat up a cop, they took you to the police station, they handcuffed you to a chair.

00:19:33.000 And about six, eight guys walked in at different times and just.

00:19:35.000 And they beat you for the course of many hours. 0.98

00:19:37.000 Beat the fuck out of me. 0.98

00:19:39.000 But hey, is what that was? 0.99

00:19:41.000 You made you bad though.

00:19:44.000 I've heard you say in the past that, oh, well, that was fair.

00:19:47.000 I beat up a cop, cops beat up me.

00:19:49.000 Exactly.

00:19:50.000 No need for paperwork.

00:19:51.000 No.

00:19:52.000 See, this is my goal in modern America.

00:19:55.000 Let's get rid of paperwork.

00:19:57.000 Let's get rid of calling the cops.

00:19:59.000 And at the end of the day, they didn't, even though they had to, it was a bar fight and we were fighting in the doorway of the bar and a cop hit me with a nice stick and I turned around and just hit him.

00:20:08.000 Like I just teed off on him.

00:20:10.000 And they got me for a, they didn't charge me with assault that time.

00:20:15.000 I've been charged with assault on an officer, but I was charged with obstructing governmental administration.

00:20:22.000 I was preventing the police officer from doing his duties.

00:20:25.000 Oh, I see.

00:20:26.000 Yeah.

00:20:26.000 That's technically.

00:20:27.000 I'm friends with the cop now.

00:20:29.000 The cop who we got into the Viking.

00:20:31.000 Oh, really?

00:20:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:32.000 I know, you know.

00:20:34.000 I still see him to this day.

00:20:36.000 Is he still a cop?

00:20:37.000 No, no, he's retired.

00:20:38.000 Because I was invited to a Mets game with a bunch of cops from your old neighborhood.

00:20:43.000 And I said, they go, do you know any other Mets fan?

00:20:45.000 I go, yeah, I know one.

00:20:47.000 Maddie O'Dell.

00:20:48.000 That went over like a fart and shirt. 0.54

00:20:50.000 And they were like, eh.

00:20:53.000 Yeah, no.

00:20:54.000 Nah.

00:20:54.000 Well, did you ever.

00:20:59.000 Oh, Jim Gold is on the show.

00:21:01.000 Hey.

00:21:02.000 Hey, guys.

00:21:04.000 Hey, how you doing, Jim?

00:21:05.000 Fantastic.

00:21:06.000 I was charged with trying to beat up two cops.

00:21:08.000 I don't remember if I did or not.

00:21:09.000 It was the last time I ever got drunk. 0.99

00:21:11.000 Wow, that is fucking Jim Gold to a T. Yeah, with hair. 0.99

00:21:16.000 Finally. 0.99

00:21:19.000 When was that?

00:21:20.000 Was that before you went to prison?

00:21:22.000 This was April 1982.

00:21:24.000 I was still going to community college.

00:21:27.000 It was a nice spring day.

00:21:28.000 You know, I hate cold weather, so we decided to skip class.

00:21:31.000 Me and my friend Warren.

00:21:32.000 We drank a whole bottle of tequila that had a red sombrero that you screw off.

00:21:37.000 Oh, yeah, I remember those.

00:21:38.000 Chased that off with a whole bottle of Coal 45.

00:21:41.000 I don't remember anything. 0.98

00:21:42.000 I woke up in jail with my face all fucked up and charges for assaulting two cops. 0.97

00:21:47.000 I'm like, well, it's time to quit drinking. 0.99

00:21:48.000 That was the last time I ever drank.

00:21:49.000 Like, next April will be 40 years since I've had a sip.

00:21:54.000 Oh, wow.

00:21:54.000 So what are you, like, 55?

00:21:56.000 60?

00:21:57.000 60.

00:21:58.000 You're 60 years old.

00:21:59.000 I just turned 60 in June, yes.

00:22:02.000 Wow.

00:22:02.000 But I had an encounter with the police last night, actually.

00:22:05.000 I was telling you about that.

00:22:07.000 What happened there?

00:22:08.000 Me and the woman went up to this little fountain town.

00:22:12.000 What just happened with your nose? 0.69

00:22:16.000 Get an extra appendage.

00:22:18.000 Something weird happened with your nose.

00:22:24.000 Hold on.

00:22:24.000 There we go.

00:22:25.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:22:26.000 How do you do that, Ryan? 1.00

00:22:29.000 Yeah, we rented a hot tub room up in the mountains, like two hours away from here.

00:22:35.000 And the hot tub still wasn't hot after four hours.

00:22:40.000 And I called the cleaning woman in. 1.00

00:22:41.000 I'm like, it's still not hot.

00:22:42.000 She's like, yes, it is.

00:22:43.000 I'm like, it's 96 degrees.

00:22:44.000 This is four hours.

00:22:46.000 And she's like, it's hot.

00:22:47.000 I'm like, it's not hot. 0.99

00:22:47.000 I'm like, you're a liar. 0.99

00:22:49.000 And she got pissed off, went down to the front desk. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Another fat mountain woman was there. 1.00

00:22:55.000 And I'm like, you know, she's like, he called me a liar. 1.00

00:22:57.000 I'm like, well, either you're lying or you're dumb. 1.00

00:23:00.000 She's like, well, you just insulted me. 1.00

00:23:01.000 And I guess with these mountain folks, that's like being disrespected if you're black. 0.98

00:23:05.000 Oh, right. 0.95

00:23:06.000 Yeah.

00:23:07.000 They called the cops.

00:23:08.000 I got the whole thing.

00:23:09.000 I might even put it on the next hardball.

00:23:11.000 It's like, because I'm a felon, I might as well have a camera attached to my head.

00:23:15.000 Because then the woman said she felt threatened by me.

00:23:17.000 My wife, who's like 4'11, she's there. 0.91

00:23:20.000 She saw the whole thing.

00:23:21.000 They called the cops.

00:23:22.000 The cops came and talked to me.

00:23:23.000 I'm like, look, it's.

00:23:24.000 What's the crime?

00:23:25.000 You can call someone a liar.

00:23:27.000 It's not illegal. 1.00

00:23:29.000 Yeah, or dumb. 0.98

00:23:30.000 And I said, either, I mean, give me the third possibility. 0.99

00:23:34.000 You're lying because you know it's supposed to be hot and it's not hot. 1.00

00:23:37.000 You're dumb. 1.00

00:23:38.000 You don't know it's supposed to. 1.00

00:23:39.000 Tell me the third thing.

00:23:40.000 So she calls the cop.

00:23:41.000 She's like, well, yeah, he's ball-headed. 0.99

00:23:43.000 I'm like, okay, you're fat. 0.99

00:23:46.000 And he's insulting me. 1.00

00:23:46.000 And then the other woman said, you know, you're a narcissist. 1.00

00:23:49.000 I work with mental health and you can't ever admit you're wrong.

00:23:52.000 I'm like, you can't admit you're wrong about the hot tub.

00:23:55.000 It's supposed to, it's not just a tub.

00:23:57.000 It's a hot tub and it's not hot.

00:24:00.000 Because, you know, I go up there to soak my 60-year-old bones.

00:24:04.000 I don't get much time off.

00:24:05.000 And I wanted the hot tub, not just a tub. 0.98

00:24:08.000 And we had to just peel out of this fucking little mountain town like at midnight last night and drive two hours on. 0.98

00:24:14.000 I got to say, Ryan does a lot of imitations. 0.98

00:24:16.000 This is the most accurate one I've ever seen.

00:24:19.000 This is uncanny.

00:24:20.000 This is almost exactly like he's talking through his body.

00:24:23.000 It's disturbing.

00:24:25.000 Yeah.

00:24:27.000 When did, okay, Jim Goad, if you're so Jim Goad, when did you go to prison for how long and what for?

00:24:34.000 I went to prison.

00:24:35.000 Well, started in jail, spent nine months in county jail.

00:24:39.000 It was May 27th or 28th, 1998.

00:24:43.000 I got out.

00:24:44.000 I got out. 1.00

00:24:45.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:24:46.000 Let's see. 1.00

00:24:47.000 Day after tomorrow will be 21 years ago.

00:24:51.000 It was right when Bush and Gore, the whole election thing where they took a couple months to decide who got elected.

00:24:56.000 That's when I got out.

00:24:57.000 For hitting a chick back, I did a whole episode in hardballs in this. 1.00

00:25:01.000 I wrote like 400 pages in shit magnet about it. 0.99

00:25:05.000 If you want to hear this chick threatening to cut my head off, chop my nipples off, blow my head to smithereens, jimgo.net slash sound slash anne dot mp3. 1.00

00:25:15.000 Had a restraining order against her. 1.00

00:25:17.000 Lost my temper for 10 minutes.

00:25:19.000 And first offense, first conviction, two and a half years.

00:25:22.000 And I probably would have done 25 years because I was notorious. 1.00

00:25:26.000 But she did stupid stuff like call up my friend and say she was jerking off to the fact that my wife was dying of cancer. 1.00

00:25:32.000 We got it all on tape, gave it to the DA. 1.00

00:25:34.000 He got scared, offered me a plea.

00:25:36.000 I took it.

00:25:37.000 Okay, okay, Ryan.

00:25:38.000 You've done your research here.

00:25:40.000 That's pretty impressive.

00:25:41.000 I got one for you.

00:25:43.000 What was the fourth issue of Answer Me about?

00:25:48.000 That was the notorious rap issue.

00:25:50.000 We interviewed a lot of rappers.

00:25:52.000 Okay.

00:25:52.000 Good, good.

00:25:54.000 Now, who was the most, you used the word notorious just then, who was the most notorious bad man who contacted you and said that that issue went a little too far.

00:26:07.000 That would have been Richard the Nightstalker Ramirez, who was another, he was a known rapper, and he skull fucked a grandma after killing her, but thought that Answer Me Number Four went too far.

00:26:18.000 That's an actual story. 0.78

00:26:19.000 I used to correspond with the Night Stalker.

00:26:21.000 He thought Answer Me was brilliant, but the fourth issue he said, he told somebody he just stopped, he ghosted me.

00:26:27.000 I was ghosted by the Nightstalker.

00:26:30.000 And he said, he asked, he told another friend paler.

00:26:32.000 He's like, don't you think that issue went a little too far?

00:26:36.000 That and Bobby Bozole from the Manson family in prison.

00:26:40.000 I met him.

00:26:41.000 He had a whole sound studio in there.

00:26:43.000 They had him hooked up.

00:26:44.000 Like, I guess they have educational programs.

00:26:46.000 So he was a killer from the Manson family.

00:26:48.000 But he told mutual friend Michael Moynihan, who wrote a book, Lords of Chaos, about Norwegian Destiny.

00:26:54.000 I was like, yeah, that guy seems a little paranoid.

00:26:56.000 So being, like, having a member of the Manson family say you're paranoid, that's another badger.

00:27:01.000 Wait, you're friends with Michael Moynihan?

00:27:03.000 Different Michael Moynihan.

00:27:04.000 This was a guy who wrote a book for Feral House.

00:27:06.000 But remember, they had all those Norwegian church burnings and murders in Norwegian each other for not being heavy metal enough. 0.73

00:27:13.000 There was that guy.

00:27:15.000 What was his name?

00:27:16.000 He killed someone because they wore a white sweater.

00:27:18.000 There was a guy.

00:27:19.000 He called himself Faust.

00:27:20.000 He was in a band called Emperor. 0.97

00:27:22.000 He stabbed a gay guy to death for coming onto him in a park. 0.87

00:27:25.000 He sent me the scariest letter I ever got. 0.97

00:27:28.000 It's like the night, there was a chill in the air that night.

00:27:30.000 And I was walking.

00:27:31.000 He just, this description of stabbing a humo to death for coming onto him. 0.99

00:27:36.000 There was the other guy who stabbed a fellow metal dude because he didn't like his shirt. 0.55

00:27:41.000 And then he ripped his head off. 0.70

00:27:43.000 And then he took the shattered skull parts and made a necklace after eating his brains. 0.87

00:27:48.000 That's pretty hard.

00:27:49.000 I don't know about that case.

00:27:49.000 That's pretty hard, though.

00:27:51.000 All right, Ryan, you did a good job.

00:27:53.000 I got to admit.

00:27:53.000 That is the most convincing Jim Goat I've ever seen.

00:27:57.000 Thanks.

00:27:58.000 No problem.

00:27:58.000 I mean, yeah, I've been working on it a lot.

00:28:00.000 It's perfect, dude.

00:28:01.000 Thanks, man.

00:28:01.000 It's your best invitation spent, though.

00:28:05.000 You're tired?

00:28:06.000 Yeah, my throat.

00:28:07.000 Oh, that makes sense.

00:28:08.000 I've heard that with people who do seances and stuff, and they talk to the other side.

00:28:13.000 When they're done, they're done.

00:28:14.000 It's almost like he's a physical medium.

00:28:16.000 He channeled Jim Goad right through.

00:28:18.000 Yeah, and Jim Goad's not...

00:28:20.000 He's not dead.

00:28:21.000 No.

00:28:21.000 Not even close.

00:28:22.000 They don't need to be dead.

00:28:24.000 As long as I get some of their essence, what I'll do is I'll get...

00:28:27.000 Jim Goad jizzed on you?

00:28:28.000 No, he jizzed on me. 0.51

00:28:30.000 But here's the thing.

00:28:32.000 The easiest part is get a piece of hair, but obviously if you look at Jim, not too much hair.

00:28:35.000 Well, he's got pubes.

00:28:36.000 He does have pubes.

00:28:37.000 No?

00:28:38.000 Well, depends when you catch him.

00:28:40.000 I got unlucky, but he was very nice.

00:28:42.000 He sent me a bunch of cigars to congratulate me on having a child, and I guess he handled them himself, so I took a swab, and I brought that to my Jujuman.

00:28:50.000 You have a Jujuman. 0.99

00:28:51.000 I have a Jujuman.

00:28:52.000 I'm a Haitian.

00:28:52.000 We have the same Jujuman, I think.

00:28:54.000 Anyway, but.

00:28:55.000 Ngate Umbata?

00:28:56.000 Mbate Ngoto.

00:28:58.000 That's his son.

00:29:00.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:29:01.000 Yeah.

00:29:02.000 Bad Juju.

00:29:04.000 BubbandHanks.com.

00:29:06.000 Last sponsor before we go behind the paywall, BubbinHanks.com.

00:29:11.000 Bubba's going through some rocky times.

00:29:14.000 So why don't you support him by buying his Wagyu?

00:29:19.000 He's got some cancer.

00:29:22.000 And I don't know, man.

00:29:24.000 He's a great guy, close friend of the show.

00:29:26.000 It's hard to see him going through this.

00:29:28.000 But the company's still going.

00:29:30.000 We still got Hanks.

00:29:32.000 And it is the most high-quality beef.

00:29:34.000 Maddie's got a ton of it. 0.98

00:29:36.000 Maddie's tried out, I think, everything they have to offer.

00:29:39.000 The wagon.

00:29:40.000 Almost everything in that picture behind you.

00:29:42.000 The hamburgers.

00:29:43.000 Did you make the hamburgers?

00:29:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:45.000 My kids inhaled those.

00:29:47.000 Yeah.

00:29:47.000 Well, you get the pre-made ones, and then you get packages of like chopped meat.

00:29:50.000 I mean, like meatloaf and stuff, you know, other stuff.

00:29:53.000 We did the pre-made ones.

00:29:54.000 The barbecue.

00:29:55.000 Actually, the last two pieces we had in the freezer tonight.

00:29:58.000 Oh, really?

00:29:59.000 Yeah.

00:29:59.000 Who's we?

00:30:01.000 Yayo.

00:30:01.000 Oh, Yayo came out from his room for once.

00:30:04.000 Yeah.

00:30:04.000 He says, hey, because I took him out and defrosted him yesterday.

00:30:08.000 He goes, you going to the show?

00:30:10.000 I go, yeah.

00:30:10.000 He goes, can I cook that?

00:30:12.000 I said, go for it.

00:30:14.000 What do you mean?

00:30:15.000 Go for it.

00:30:16.000 Maddie has a weird Peruvian roommate. 0.99

00:30:18.000 Peruvian, yeah.

00:30:19.000 Who's named after cocaine?

00:30:21.000 He gets real mad, though, when you call him Yayo, which means cocaine.

00:30:24.000 Yayo, yayo.

00:30:26.000 Sorry, dude.

00:30:27.000 You're one syllable off of cocaine.

00:30:31.000 And they both thoroughly enjoyed it.

00:30:33.000 So go to bubbandhanks.com.

00:30:34.000 Use my promo code Gavin 15% off.

00:30:38.000 Bubba's a fantastic guy.

00:30:39.000 Bubb and Hanks, a fantastic company.

00:30:41.000 And it really is the highest quality beef.

00:30:43.000 I don't know.

00:30:43.000 I thought New York was kind of well known for beef.

00:30:46.000 We got Keene's Steakhouse.

00:30:47.000 We got Peter Luger's.

00:30:48.000 But when I ordered this stuff, when I got it freeze-dried in this Dyrofoam container and I put it on it, thawed it out, cooked it up on the barbecue.

00:30:56.000 Holy moly was it delicious.

00:31:01.000 Unbelievable.

00:31:02.000 I said, holy cow.

00:31:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:04.000 Holy cow. 0.89

00:31:05.000 Totally true.

00:31:06.000 I didn't want to use a bad word because I don't want you to associate that with it because it was so good.

00:31:10.000 It's one of those steaks where, like, you know, you go to Keene's Steakhouse and you're on the train going back home and you're thinking about it like you made out with Eva Mendez or something.

00:31:20.000 It's that kind of a vibe.

00:31:21.000 Like you think about it for a long time afterwards.

00:31:24.000 That is how high quality Bubba and Hanks is.

00:31:28.000 All right.

00:31:28.000 That's enough catering to the freeloaders.

00:31:31.000 We're going to read some viewer mail, take some calls, talk to Maddie about his sex life.

00:31:38.000 And for you folks at home who haven't signed up to censored TV, I don't know what you're waiting for.

00:31:45.000 $10 a month, unlimited entertainment, much more than you could possibly watch.

00:31:50.000 I am one of 15 shows on censored.tv, but I still give you one to two hours every day, but the weekends, and the weekends are jam-packed with everyone else.

00:32:01.000 So stop wasting your time.

00:32:03.000 Censored.tv is a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.

00:32:09.000 It is a rational, normal, unbiased take on the news that's informed and objective.

00:32:17.000 And that has become a radical way to see the world. 1.00

00:32:20.000 Anyway, you don't deserve all this quality, so fuck you. 1.00

00:32:23.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 1.00

00:33:05.000 That was another, that band is from New Zealand, 1990, late 90s.

00:33:10.000 Oh, wow.

00:33:10.000 So we've been playing modern 60s music this week on the Underground Garage week.

00:33:17.000 We should do the Sonics.

00:33:18.000 You know, I was listening to Credence Clearwater Revival do like a Little Richard type of song.

00:33:26.000 I forget what the song was, but they were screaming the way Little Richard did.

00:33:29.000 And I was thinking, is Little Richard the first guy to scream?

00:33:35.000 Wouldn't that be Screamin' Jay Hawkins? 0.81

00:33:37.000 Well, it's the same time zone.

00:33:39.000 It is very close.

00:33:41.000 Who screamed first?

00:33:42.000 Whoops.

00:33:43.000 Screamin' Jay or Little Richard?

00:33:46.000 Oh, you had Howland Wolf, too.

00:33:47.000 He was an old passing.

00:33:48.000 Screaming Wolf, that's right.

00:33:49.000 Howland?

00:33:50.000 He used to make these high-pitched screams.

00:33:53.000 Big Joe Turner and Howland Wolf, one of the first known R ⁇ B songs that utilized screaming vocals is said to be Screamin' Jay.

00:33:59.000 Yeah, Howland Wolf.

00:34:00.000 What's with the picture? 1.00

00:34:02.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 1.00

00:34:03.000 Is that him? 1.00

00:34:04.000 That's not Howland Wolf, no.

00:34:07.000 But they were kind of different, too.

00:34:08.000 Screaming Jay Hawkins was like, I put a spell on you.

00:34:11.000 God, you're mine.

00:34:12.000 He's screaming.

00:34:13.000 I guess it's the same.

00:34:14.000 Because when I think of Little Richard, I think of like, function at the junction.

00:34:20.000 And of course, the great line, the only devils in here are a devil may care. 1.00

00:34:25.000 Meaning, there's no fucking white people at this awesome party. 1.00

00:34:29.000 No white devils. 1.00

00:34:32.000 And we've been listening to black people shit on us in music for 60 years. 1.00

00:34:39.000 And just been going. 1.00

00:34:44.000 This is nice.

00:34:45.000 We're weird. 0.98

00:34:46.000 White people are weird. 1.00

00:34:48.000 Black people don't listen to songs about how the only niggas in here are a nigga may care. 1.00

00:34:57.000 Not the same. 1.00

00:34:58.000 Never.

00:34:59.000 Not catchy.

00:34:59.000 Topping the charts in the 1960s, nigger May Care rivaled such other ads.

00:35:08.000 So what year is this? 0.96

00:35:10.000 Put a spell on you.

00:35:11.000 In 56.

00:35:14.000 That's a good guess.

00:35:15.000 Let's see.

00:35:17.000 And I bet Little Richards' first hit was 55. 1.00

00:35:24.000 Who was Halloween?

00:35:27.000 He's got to be insane in the late 50s.

00:35:29.000 1959.

00:35:30.000 Oh, Hallow Wolf?

00:35:32.000 Did you nail that?

00:35:33.000 Wait, 1959?

00:35:35.000 What did you say?

00:35:36.000 No, I said that Little Richards' first hit was 55, and it was Function at the Junction.

00:35:44.000 So he beat some.

00:35:45.000 But I'm guessing.

00:35:47.000 Maybe Screaming Jay Hawkins is 69. 0.99

00:35:49.000 Oh, dang. 1.00

00:35:51.000 You're a loser. 1.00

00:35:53.000 Get out of my way. 1.00

00:35:55.000 It's a jam.

00:35:56.000 Play that function at the junction. 0.97

00:35:58.000 It's so fucking good. 0.97

00:36:02.000 It's weird to make a piano. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Raging homosexuals, sucking dicks, that fucking pencil thing. 1.00

00:36:26.000 He invented that. 1.00

00:36:28.000 I think he invented everything, and I'm probably wrong about it.

00:36:32.000 So I guess Screaming Jay Hawkins was the first screamer?

00:36:34.000 1931.

00:36:35.000 You've got to save that thing.

00:36:39.000 That's pretty early, man.

00:36:44.000 Let's see.

00:36:46.000 You know, when you look up these things, there's like the first and then there's the first.

00:36:51.000 Like, say some vaudeville dude in Chicago in 31 was in a play and he had a song and he went, yeah!

00:37:00.000 Yeah, that's it. 1.00

00:37:01.000 He can suck my dick. 1.00

00:37:03.000 He didn't bring it to the masses. 1.00

00:37:07.000 Back then it was the masses.

00:37:09.000 We got the first screamer here, folks. 0.60

00:37:12.000 This is why Prince exists.

00:37:17.000 Aura.

00:37:19.000 Speaking of Prince, you see the SNL thing with Prince?

00:37:23.000 They kind of made fun of their own racist tendencies, SNL.

00:37:26.000 It's pretty interesting. 0.92

00:37:28.000 You sound like a weird Chinese guy. 1.00

00:37:30.000 It's pretty interesting.

00:37:32.000 Did you see SNL?

00:37:34.000 You sound like an over-Westernized Chinese immigrant who's learned English basically perfectly. 0.99

00:37:40.000 Have you seen the SNL episode where the comedy sketch shows?

00:37:44.000 That's too Chinese. 1.00

00:37:46.000 No, no.

00:37:47.000 You sound like this Chinese guy where you only hear Chinese like every four minutes. 0.98

00:37:54.000 Did you guys see the new SNL sketch?

00:37:56.000 It was pretty funny.

00:37:57.000 They had, I forget who's coming.

00:38:00.000 There was, I think they were make fun of a prince.

00:38:03.000 Yeah, yeah, that's it.

00:38:04.000 There we go.

00:38:05.000 There we go.

00:38:06.000 There you go.

00:38:07.000 Almost perfect.

00:38:09.000 Yeah, and then you go like, make fun of a prince?

00:38:12.000 A prince?

00:38:12.000 Wait, what?

00:38:13.000 What prince?

00:38:16.000 Yeah, I'll notice that with the...

00:38:17.000 Is that prince or print?

00:38:19.000 A lot of Swedish people, they'll nail English, and then one thing will be like, like some sound. 1.00

00:38:28.000 I don't hear a lot of screaming.

00:38:29.000 Yeah, Aura. 1.00

00:38:33.000 Say what thing, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:38:35.000 It's crazy if she invented screaming. 1.00

00:38:37.000 Scream before. 1.00

00:38:38.000 Scream it, bitch. 1.00

00:38:41.000 Scream my name. 1.00

00:38:44.000 Okay, go forward.

00:38:45.000 See if you can find some screaming. 0.98

00:38:46.000 Because that's the thing about screaming Jay Hawkins is in you put a spell on me, he's normal.

00:38:51.000 He's like, you put a spell on me.

00:38:53.000 Cause you're mine. 0.99

00:38:55.000 And then at the end, and I heard in the recording studio, he was shit-faced. 0.99

00:39:00.000 Wow. 0.99

00:39:00.000 And they said, just wing it. 0.99

00:39:02.000 Just go with it.

00:39:02.000 Just feel it.

00:39:03.000 He's like, cuz you're mad. 1.00

00:39:05.000 And you hear him like knocking over shit and shit's falling behind. 1.00

00:39:10.000 Cause you're mad. 1.00

00:39:13.000 That's not really screaming.

00:39:16.000 Robin.

00:39:17.000 Yeah.

00:39:18.000 But like when the sonics go, psycho!

00:39:21.000 That's like screaming into the song, making it the song.

00:39:25.000 Right.

00:39:26.000 Here she comes. 1.00

00:39:27.000 This bitch has got to go. 1.00

00:39:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:30.000 Or is not doing it.

00:39:38.000 Sounds like she's on a toilet bowl. 1.00

00:39:40.000 Dude, if I was raping a chick and she went, help, I wouldn't think she was in trouble. 1.00

00:39:47.000 No. 0.98

00:39:48.000 Help! 0.98

00:39:49.000 Get up at me, please.

00:39:52.000 I'd go, she's enjoying it. 1.00

00:39:56.000 I think if I was raping her, I'd be screaming like that. 1.00

00:39:59.000 If I was raping her, I'd probably have two black eyes and I'd be unconscious. 1.00

00:40:07.000 My dick would be tied in a knot, and I'd wake up the next day in my own blood. 1.00

00:40:10.000 I would say on my chest, not today, bitch. 1.00

00:40:13.000 Oh, where are you going? 1.00

00:40:14.000 You're not done raping me yet. 0.99

00:40:16.000 I don't get mine. 1.00

00:40:17.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:40:18.000 You think you want to rape a motherfucker? 1.00

00:40:20.000 Hang on. 1.00

00:40:21.000 Don't stop what you can't feel.

00:40:23.000 You bit up more than you could chew with Aura.

00:40:26.000 So, yeah, that's probably Wikipedia.

00:40:28.000 It's so literal.

00:40:29.000 Right.

00:40:30.000 With screams, especially music Wikipedia. 0.98

00:40:32.000 The first scream ever was Aura in fucking 1922. 0.98

00:40:37.000 Aura Alexander. 0.99

00:40:42.000 Whoa.

00:40:43.000 He was a drunk.

00:40:45.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that.

00:40:48.000 One, two, three.

00:40:54.000 It's a very Jim Goat episode, isn't it?

00:40:56.000 What makes you say that?

00:40:57.000 We're watching Hardballs.

00:41:03.000 Yeah, this isn't screaming, dude.

00:41:05.000 When I say who's the first screamer, I'm saying who influenced Prince and the Sonics. 1.00

00:41:11.000 Not this lunatic, the proverb with a fucking bone through his nose. 0.99

00:41:17.000 Talk about stereotyping. 1.00

00:41:19.000 I'm offended.

00:41:20.000 Dan, you avert me today.

00:41:24.000 Jump ahead.

00:41:41.000 Okay, I'll count that as a screaming Jay Wolf.

00:41:45.000 No, that's Screaming Jay Hawkins.

00:41:49.000 I'm not going to be Juju.

00:41:51.000 Is he speaking English?

00:41:54.000 No, he's speaking Juju.

00:41:57.000 When was Howland Wolf?

00:41:59.000 I'd say late 50s.

00:42:02.000 So what year is that, Ryan?

00:42:05.000 It'd be funny if I was asking what year the late 50s were.

00:42:08.000 Yeah.

00:42:08.000 57, 89.

00:42:11.000 40.

00:42:13.000 Okay, so Howland Wolf was 51, but before I go around throwing a yes, I need to hear your screams. 0.99

00:42:20.000 Because that Aura Oda chick fucking blew it. 1.00

00:42:24.000 She was... 0.99

00:42:27.000 It's not a scream. 0.99

00:42:31.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.98

00:42:33.000 It's better not be this scream. 0.99

00:42:35.000 No.

00:42:40.000 Calling me over my telephone.

00:42:43.000 Calling over my telephone.

00:42:44.000 Yeah, I feel like he's going to hit some high notes.

00:42:46.000 You were a telephone back then?

00:42:48.000 Yeah, right?

00:42:49.000 51?

00:42:51.000 Somebody calling.

00:42:54.000 Over my telephone.

00:43:00.000 I mean, he's got other songs where he starts ripping into them, but I'm all ears.

00:43:12.000 You know who would know all this?

00:43:13.000 Pat Dixon. 1.00

00:43:14.000 You know, my dick has been lying to me like a motherfucker all week. 1.00

00:43:20.000 I am convinced I'm getting laid. 1.00

00:43:23.000 I'm convinced that I'm the lead singer of Motley Crew.

00:43:27.000 Groupies.

00:43:29.000 Groupies. 0.83

00:43:29.000 My wife's dying to blow me. 0.83

00:43:31.000 She's trying to fuck me at all times. 1.00

00:43:33.000 Last night she goes, let's call her Renee. 1.00

00:43:37.000 She goes, oh, I got to bring Renee home. 1.00

00:43:39.000 She's too drunk to drive, and we'll call an Uber from the house. 1.00

00:43:42.000 And my dick, I didn't think anything of it, but I looked at it. 1.00

00:43:45.000 My dick's like, threesome, dude. 1.00

00:43:50.000 And I go, really? 1.00

00:43:53.000 That's the part that pisses me off. 1.00

00:43:54.000 I don't mind that he says dumb shit. 1.00

00:43:56.000 It's that I go, wow. 1.00

00:44:00.000 Thanks for the update, retarded dick. 1.00

00:44:03.000 So my dick tells me that I'm getting a threesome last night with our family friend Renee, where our daughters would play together when they were eight. 1.00

00:44:13.000 And all of a sudden, they both are sluts in lingerie, like competing to blow me. 1.00

00:44:19.000 So I come out to the living room and I sit there, like, talking to the two waisted women, like I have anything to fucking say to them, thinking this is going to lead, we'll lock the bedroom. 1.00

00:44:31.000 I hope we're quiet. 0.98

00:44:31.000 Don't wake up the kids. 0.98

00:44:33.000 And the next morning, I woke up and I said to my dick, I was like, you're a dick. 1.00

00:44:38.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:44:40.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 1.00

00:44:41.000 Talk up. 0.99

00:44:42.000 Like, you weren't even close.

00:44:45.000 It wasn't like there was any sort of like, hee, hee, uh-oh, what if we got up to some mischief?

00:44:49.000 Sometimes the complaints will be.

00:44:51.000 Zero, like, honestly, if someone broke in and held a gun to our heads and we did a threesome at gunpoint, they would both be bawling their eyes out at how horrible this rape was. 0.93

00:45:03.000 Like, they would just.

00:45:05.000 It wouldn't be like they were like, finally, there's a gun pointing at us.

00:45:08.000 We don't have any guilt.

00:45:09.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:45:10.000 Like, where did my dick get this retarded idea? 1.00

00:45:13.000 Sex is, like, not a big deal. 0.99

00:45:15.000 And then I started telling my wife to come to the studio because I was like, Ryan's not around on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

00:45:22.000 And she was like, I got errands.

00:45:24.000 I feel nauseous from hot yoga.

00:45:27.000 And then I go, ready for this one?

00:45:30.000 I go, I'll pay you $100.

00:45:36.000 Nice.

00:45:38.000 It's $100 guilt-free.

00:45:41.000 You can spend it on anything.

00:45:43.000 As a married couple, you should spend money in a reasonable amount that we both agree on.

00:45:50.000 Like, you can buy some expensive shoes, but not too many. 0.99

00:45:53.000 But when you get $100 cash from your husband, you can fucking burn it. 0.99

00:45:58.000 It's free money. 0.99

00:46:00.000 Didn't work. 1.00

00:46:02.000 So I would like to take this moment to tell my dick to shut the fuck. 1.00

00:46:08.000 Stop lying to me about all the pussy that's waiting around the corner. 1.00

00:46:12.000 Shut up. 1.00

00:46:13.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

00:46:14.000 That's how I feel. 1.00

00:46:17.000 That's me.

00:46:18.000 Jacob Wald. 1.00

00:46:22.000 My dick is at the door trying to talk to pussy. 1.00

00:46:27.000 Come on, man. 1.00

00:46:28.000 Come on, man. 0.99

00:46:29.000 And I'm just like, dick, it's not happening. 0.99

00:46:31.000 Go somewhere else. 1.00

00:46:33.000 That's my dick. 1.00

00:46:34.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:46:35.000 I've just met my dick. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Shut the fuck up and leave. 1.00

00:46:40.000 My dick wears sunglasses and has a fucking dress shirt on. 1.00

00:46:47.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:46:50.000 Mike! 1.00

00:46:52.000 Pussy! 1.00

00:46:54.000 Pussy! 1.00

00:46:55.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey! 1.00

00:46:58.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:46:59.000 She's hot. 1.00

00:47:00.000 She's nauseous from hot yoga.

00:47:01.000 Somewhere else.

00:47:02.000 She's running errands.

00:47:04.000 She's not coming by the studio.

00:47:05.000 This one makes too much sense.

00:47:07.000 Come on. 0.99

00:47:08.000 I'm fucking sweating my balls off. 0.99

00:47:16.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

00:47:17.000 Dude, I'm getting a tattoo on my dick of Mikey. 1.00

00:47:20.000 Hey, that girl's coming from the marathon. 1.00

00:47:22.000 She's bringing her husband. 1.00

00:47:22.000 I wonder if she'll be okay with dick tattoos. 1.00

00:47:25.000 Oh, wow. 1.00

00:47:25.000 I'm not sure I could handle a dick tattoo. 1.00

00:47:27.000 Hell no. 0.99

00:47:28.000 I know a couple people have them.

00:47:30.000 I know one guy's got dollar signs on his neck.

00:47:32.000 This is not pleasant. 1.00

00:47:34.000 One's got a ladybug on the head of his dick. 1.00

00:47:36.000 Oh, the head. 1.00

00:47:38.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:47:40.000 A ladybug.

00:47:43.000 I could do a word.

00:47:44.000 I think I could do Mikey.

00:47:47.000 Like, how do you even spell that?

00:47:48.000 I guess it's M-I-K-E-E-Y. 1.00

00:47:52.000 And with a Y?

00:47:52.000 M-E-Y, yeah.

00:47:53.000 Yeah, I guess I could do Mikey, but poof.

00:47:58.000 Well, I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.

00:48:01.000 Are you into that, Maddie, when she comes by getting a bald eagle tattoo?

00:48:06.000 Yeah.

00:48:07.000 Yeah.

00:48:08.000 So I don't know if I told you this.

00:48:09.000 We're doing a marathon on December 17th.

00:48:13.000 24 hours.

00:48:14.000 What?

00:48:15.000 A phone marathon?

00:48:16.000 No, no, here, a telethon.

00:48:17.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:48:18.000 And she's going to be here with her tattoo gun. 0.54

00:48:20.000 Nice.

00:48:21.000 Doing a bunch of tats.

00:48:22.000 We'll get to that.

00:48:22.000 I just got a statue.

00:48:23.000 I'm one of my medications.

00:48:25.000 What do you mean?

00:48:27.000 Because I take blood thinners.

00:48:28.000 It makes you blood thin and then you bleed out.

00:48:29.000 Yeah.

00:48:30.000 Oh, really? 1.00

00:48:30.000 I won't bleed out, but it'll just be a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:48:33.000 So a couple days before, I'll stop taking them and I'll be good. 0.99

00:48:36.000 Okay. 0.95

00:48:37.000 Although, I don't want to lose you, but it would be great for ratings if you were to die. 0.76

00:48:42.000 I hate to be Mr. Pro. 0.90

00:48:45.000 Mighty death.

00:48:47.000 All right, let's answer a couple of letters before we take the calls, but I forgot my computer.

00:48:55.000 We're going to erase the intro.

00:48:57.000 In the office?

00:48:57.000 Here we go.

00:48:58.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:58.000 Can you get it?

00:48:59.000 It's actually on the turquoise couch.

00:49:12.000 Did I talk about the Pine Tree Rebellion yet?

00:49:14.000 The bird which is the pine tree? 1.00

00:49:17.000 So I went to this Proud Boys meeting in Long Island, on Long Island, which is a fucking dumb thing. 1.00

00:49:23.000 Thank you, sir. 0.99

00:49:24.000 Yes, please.

00:49:25.000 And there's a black, a couple black Proud Boys, stand black and stand by. 0.88

00:49:34.000 Stand black, stand black, stand by.

00:49:36.000 So they had this yellow truck that was playing this old-timey song, and they were driving through Long Island.

00:49:41.000 And no one listened to the song, and no one understands the club. 0.98

00:49:45.000 And they see everyone's going like that, which means liberals are retarded. 0.99

00:49:49.000 Yes, white supremacists do this. 1.00

00:49:52.000 White supremacists think liberals are retarded. 1.00

00:49:54.000 Everyone does. 1.00

00:49:56.000 So when you go like this, Hitler used toilet paper, you used toilet paper, all dogs are mammals, all cats are mammals, all dogs are not cats. 1.00

00:50:05.000 So anyway, they're going like this, and these Karens are like, a black man is a fucking doing the white power symbol. 0.99

00:50:12.000 And it's like, please listen to the song. 0.99

00:50:14.000 So this is a song they were blaring from the truck all across Long Island.

00:50:19.000 Kingdom come on the other thing of misery.

00:50:25.000 There's a world we long to see.

00:50:29.000 The strife we share will take us there to relief and sovereignty.

00:50:54.000 In our own towns, we're foreigners now.

00:50:57.000 Our things are spat.

00:51:00.000 Okay, so that's what's that called?

00:51:02.000 The pine tree riots?

00:51:03.000 Pine tree riots, but by God, we'll have our home again.

00:51:06.000 By God, we'll have our home again.

00:51:07.000 That's what the club is about.

00:51:09.000 And the pine tree riots were during the American Revolution, I think it was 1774, the Brits realized that they don't have enough pine to make their boats, especially masts.

00:51:23.000 Masts need to be one piece. 0.99

00:51:26.000 And so they had some rule in, where was it, Rhode Island?

00:51:33.000 Eastern White... 0.94

00:51:34.000 New England.

00:51:35.000 Plymouth.

00:51:36.000 Where they said, if it's like 24 inches diameter, it's the property of the crown. 1.00

00:51:43.000 And these New England farmers and lumberjacks said, fuck you. 1.00

00:51:50.000 And they started milling their own pine for their own boats. 1.00

00:51:54.000 And they got arrested. 1.00

00:51:57.000 And sheriffs came from the British Crown to arrest them, take Them to jail and they fucking beat the shit out of them. 0.99

00:52:03.000 And the best part is they whipped these British sheriffs with switches, with pine branches from the trees. 0.98

00:52:13.000 Pretty badass.

00:52:15.000 So that's the song they were playing.

00:52:17.000 And of course, we all know how the American Revolution played out.

00:52:20.000 So the message that was being blared from this truck is stand up to tyranny. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Now, in an era of COVID, obviously the message is don't fucking succumb to these assholes who are making your kindergartners wear masks. 0.99

00:52:36.000 You don't need a vax if you don't want to get the vax. 1.00

00:52:39.000 It shouldn't define your employment, which it now does for all cops and firemen in New York City, which is fucking insane. 0.98

00:52:47.000 The Basio. 0.97

00:52:48.000 It's pure tyranny.

00:52:50.000 And the Proud Boys were playing that song to say, stand up to tyranny and you will win.

00:52:56.000 The pine tree riots, which they say inspired the Boston Tea Party, was standing up to tyranny and winning.

00:53:03.000 We beat the British. 0.97

00:53:04.000 We can beat this, whatever you call it, new British. 1.00

00:53:08.000 And they're so fixated on race that they're like, why was there a black guy there? 1.00

00:53:14.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:53:16.000 Losers. 1.00

00:53:17.000 What a petty thing to be obsessed with. 1.00

00:53:20.000 Was there a black guy there? 1.00

00:53:21.000 You sound like a fucking racist from the 50s, actually. 1.00

00:53:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:25.000 What is he doing there?

00:53:26.000 Audacity.

00:53:28.000 I don't mind this pieting contest, but why is there a Negro here? 1.00

00:53:31.000 You can't have one of them in your group. 0.97

00:53:34.000 I don't want a Negro in my group. 1.00

00:53:36.000 How do we avoid doing the Southern accent when we do racist accent? 0.96

00:53:38.000 No, I don't mind it.

00:53:39.000 Dude, dude, it's not.

00:53:40.000 Ezra Levant was mad at me once for doing the Southern accent.

00:53:43.000 And I'm like, no, no.

00:53:44.000 I'm mocking the concept of the Southern racist.

00:53:49.000 Good point. 0.99

00:53:50.000 Like, I obviously don't agree with this mentality of fucking everything is racist. 1.00

00:53:55.000 So what you're doing is you're mocking the liberal view of the dumb southerner who thinks everyone is fucking racist. 1.00

00:54:07.000 Oh, no. 1.00

00:54:08.000 What's up?

00:54:09.000 Oh, no.

00:54:11.000 Instagram has...

00:54:12.000 Or big tech has infiltrated our very stream.

00:54:15.000 And now they put this false information thing on our stream.

00:54:17.000 Could I, is it going to be there the whole show?

00:54:19.000 You can click see why, but I could.

00:54:23.000 Oh, I got it.

00:54:24.000 If I double the camera thing, maybe I could just put this on here. 0.99

00:54:27.000 Fuck. 0.99

00:54:27.000 What happened? 0.99

00:54:28.000 It's false information.

00:54:30.000 They'll tag you for saying false.

00:54:31.000 I don't know what we said, but...

00:54:34.000 Well, I can sort of go around it, I guess.

00:54:36.000 I'll try to work on getting that off of there.

00:54:38.000 Well, click CY.

00:54:41.000 You see why?

00:54:42.000 Click CU.

00:54:44.000 See you later.

00:54:45.000 See you.

00:54:46.000 It's not even tagging.

00:54:46.000 See you.

00:54:47.000 See you.

00:54:48.000 Hanging's too good for you. 0.99

00:54:50.000 Hanging's too good for you. 0.87

00:54:53.000 It's not even talking about it.

00:54:54.000 Oh, there we go.

00:54:56.000 Oh, it's got to be awesome.

00:54:56.000 Oh, beautiful.

00:54:57.000 Oh, thank God.

00:54:58.000 Not to go off topic or anything, but yesterday when we were on Cumia, you were talking about how your wife watches home renovations and all that stuff.

00:55:06.000 And in early homes up in New England, you would have these pine boards in their floors.

00:55:13.000 And the wider the board was the more prominent of a person because they call them king's boards because they weren't allowed to cut the lumber and mill it. 0.99

00:55:21.000 So when you see an old house like from the 17, early 1700s, mid-1700s, and they have these really wide pine floorboards, the person had a lot of clout or he was someone just saying, you know, fuck you. 0.99

00:55:34.000 They call them the king's boards. 0.96

00:55:35.000 Both are cool.

00:55:35.000 They're called kingboards.

00:55:37.000 Wow.

00:55:38.000 Yeah, you know, in Lead Hills in Scotland, it was a big, well, it was a Lead town, but they had gold too.

00:55:45.000 And they were told they had to give the gold to the crown.

00:55:48.000 So what the Scots would do is they'd have all the gold they found made into jewelry. 1.00

00:55:54.000 So they'd have like, they'd look like Mr. T. They'd have a ring on every finger and like four gold chains rather than, so you have these dirty fucking miners in shitty cable net sweaters dressed like Mr. T. Pity the fool. 1.00

00:56:09.000 We won. 1.00

00:56:10.000 We won.

00:56:11.000 We've been through tyranny before, folks, and we won. 1.00

00:56:15.000 So stop being such a pussy. 1.00

00:56:18.000 Like stand up, get fired, get in trouble. 1.00

00:56:22.000 I'm going to have to make a drug and start manufacturing called Grow ASET.

00:56:28.000 Not Perkins Set, Grow ASEAT.

00:56:32.000 Bald Eagles, what is the chain you're wearing? 0.97

00:56:34.000 I don't know.

00:56:34.000 My wife got me this about 20 years ago.

00:56:36.000 It's just a Cuban Lynx. 1.00

00:56:40.000 This is like a $200 fucking thing. 0.99

00:56:42.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:56:43.000 Oh, back then, gold was, what, $400 an ounce?

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:46.000 Now it's like two grand, $1,800.

00:56:49.000 Hey, Gavin, check out this absolute low, low, lol cow Cyrax.

00:56:54.000 Lol cow. 1.00

00:56:55.000 Lol cow Cyrax.

00:56:56.000 I'm not familiar with the vernacular.

00:56:58.000 Lol Cow is just a person that the internet makes fun of for being a cow of LOL. 0.58

00:57:02.000 Okay.

00:57:04.000 He's a product for inbreeding. 0.97

00:57:05.000 His IQ is very low. 1.00

00:57:06.000 He's basically retarded. 1.00

00:57:07.000 He has a deformed body. 0.99

00:57:09.000 Literally no shoulders.

00:57:10.000 He's also a dwarf at 4'7.

00:57:12.000 I have a bad feeling this is gonna...

00:57:14.000 Oh, I thought it was gonna be me. 0.94

00:57:16.000 He has a skullet and lives in absolute filth. 0.99

00:57:18.000 His father was sent to prison for 30 years for raping an underage family member with Down syndrome. 0.99

00:57:23.000 Jesus. 0.90

00:57:23.000 That's not a good look. 0.90

00:57:25.000 The bad look.

00:57:26.000 He's in his 30s, never worked a day in his life.

00:57:28.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:57:29.000 Let's see what this guy has to say.

00:57:30.000 George, boy, I know a lot of you guys have been wondering what's been going on with my genetics.

00:57:35.000 Don't mind the t-shirt.

00:57:45.000 What is going on with his face?

00:57:47.000 She goes back home on Monday.

00:57:49.000 It looks like it has a rubber band around the lower lip.

00:58:06.000 Behind the noise right here.

00:58:08.000 I don't care. 1.00

00:58:08.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

00:58:10.000 All right. 1.00

00:58:12.000 That seems cruel.

00:58:13.000 Unless if he's flawed and he's a bad man, then we can make fun of him.

00:58:17.000 Let's do some Maddie letters, okay?

00:58:19.000 There we go.

00:58:19.000 We have a Facebook group called Censor.tv.

00:58:23.000 Yep.

00:58:24.000 Check it out.

00:58:26.000 I sent Ryan a picture of a screenshot I took of it today.

00:58:30.000 Okay, it's a Facebook group with 14 members.

00:58:34.000 We are popular.

00:58:36.000 14 people.

00:58:38.000 There we go.

00:58:40.000 I think the guy's name is Buddy Woolhoyt, I believe.

00:58:44.000 Is like the administrator of it.

00:58:46.000 We can supply him with a full res image of this.

00:58:49.000 Censored.

00:58:50.000 It's got the little arrows in it and everything.

00:58:52.000 It's screenshot.

00:58:53.000 Yeah.

00:58:56.000 I'm surprised it's lasted on Facebook that long.

00:58:58.000 Yeah.

00:59:00.000 Because even if you send a Facebook message and you put like censored.tv in it, it won't send the message.

00:59:08.000 Wow.

00:59:09.000 It blocks it.

00:59:10.000 Hi, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.

00:59:11.000 My best friend convinced me to join the Daily Wire earlier this year when it released the film Runhide Fight.

00:59:16.000 I remember that.

00:59:18.000 Great.

00:59:18.000 I like that movie.

00:59:20.000 Telling me conservatives are finally producing their own movies is what we wanted.

00:59:24.000 Runhide Fight was amazing.

00:59:25.000 Now the Daily Wire just announced two upcoming movies, Shut In, coming in November, and Gina Carano's film, Tear on the Prairie, coming the first half of next year. 0.96

00:59:36.000 They're kicking ass, those Daily Wire guys.

00:59:39.000 Plus, they got Matt Walsh, who, like you said, is killing it, and they just hired Adam Carolla.

00:59:44.000 I almost exclusively watch censor.tv content and know the DW is your competition, yeah, I guess.

00:59:51.000 But spending an additional $100 a year to get conservative movies made is super important in these crazy times.

00:59:57.000 I recommend all baby monsters do the same.

00:59:59.000 The Hollywood Union started debating vaccine mandates forecasting for and I wasn't into that.

01:00:05.000 I don't think that's a good idea. 1.00

01:00:07.000 See, again, my dick is like you could probably fuck her. 1.00

01:00:12.000 My dick has a Brooklyn accent. 1.00

01:00:15.000 See, right there? 1.00

01:00:16.000 You could wrestle with that.

01:00:18.000 She has the perfect female body. 1.00

01:00:20.000 Thank you to all the Dick Car members.

01:00:22.000 You guys have been an extended family.

01:00:24.000 Thank you to everybody for making this possible.

01:00:27.000 Without you, I don't know where I'd be right now.

01:00:30.000 Well, Taneshi Coats now?

01:00:32.000 There's no other place I'd rather be.

01:00:33.000 He sounds like her.

01:00:34.000 I hope everybody's doing well.

01:00:35.000 Boy, Taneshi Turncoats.

01:00:37.000 Flip sides faster than a flap deck. 1.00

01:00:39.000 How great is it that his great-grandmother's slave got five fucking acres? 1.00

01:00:45.000 My great-grandmother's slave. 1.00

01:00:48.000 It's the best thing.

01:00:49.000 Did you know this?

01:00:49.000 It was supposed to be 40 acres?

01:00:51.000 It was supposed to be 40 acres in a mule.

01:00:52.000 40 acres and a mule, yeah.

01:00:54.000 Sure, that's a fuckload of land, though.

01:00:56.000 If it was 40 acres total, that would be reasonable.

01:00:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:00.000 Split that amongst yourselves.

01:01:01.000 But have you been watching the show, Maddie?

01:01:03.000 Five acres she got. 0.93

01:01:05.000 It's like five football fields.

01:01:07.000 It's a nice neighborhood.

01:01:09.000 It's like where you grew up.

01:01:10.000 I bet where you grew up in New Rochelle, everywhere you would go, all your friends, 100% of your world was his great-grandmother's area.

01:01:21.000 It's like two and a half streets, 10 houses on each street.

01:01:25.000 Yeah, I think the house I grew up in, which was, I lived on a corner property and I had a detached garage.

01:01:31.000 I think it was a quarter of an acre.

01:01:34.000 She got five acres.

01:01:38.000 Yeah, it was happy.

01:01:40.000 I was happy.

01:01:42.000 Almost every African American.

01:01:43.000 Wait, was that Taneshi Coach playing Taneshi Goat rancor? 1.00

01:01:46.000 What a redundant ass. 0.99

01:01:48.000 Those ancestors can only be glimpsed through the records of their owners. 0.99

01:01:53.000 But in Harriet's case, the records also contain quite a bit of a matter of time.

01:01:57.000 We've already watched this 100 times.

01:01:58.000 But we had a baby monster send in an email that goes, you know why they did that?

01:02:03.000 Because that homo from NPR resents that Taneshi Coates is successful. 1.00

01:02:09.000 And he was like, he had a great point. 0.95

01:02:11.000 He's like, strip race from it. 0.91

01:02:13.000 It's an old timer who's been doing this forever who sees a young buck come in and get more notoriety than him and get higher speaking fees at Harvard. 1.00

01:02:24.000 And he's like, fuck you. 1.00

01:02:26.000 Jealousy and envy. 1.00

01:02:27.000 So he gives him a little stab.

01:02:29.000 Took away his reparations, huh? 0.98

01:02:33.000 Your great granny was a rich slave stab. 1.00

01:02:36.000 She probably told on my granny, who was a regular slave. 1.00

01:02:39.000 Yeah, my granny had nothing.

01:02:41.000 I heard she was invited to your granny's house. 1.00

01:02:44.000 My great granny was your great granny's slave, bitch. 1.00

01:02:49.000 Yeah, that's the best thing. 1.00

01:02:50.000 Like, you're bragging about how slave they were. 1.00

01:02:53.000 Mine was a fucking super slave. 1.00

01:02:55.000 She wash feet. 1.00

01:02:56.000 I do that all the time.

01:02:56.000 I talk about my dad not having shoes that fit.

01:02:59.000 True.

01:03:01.000 Hi, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.

01:03:03.000 I'm constantly watching your show.

01:03:04.000 I love to watch G-O-M-L. 1.00

01:03:06.000 This is called Baby Loves Your Show.

01:03:09.000 I'm putting a Maddie search on the emails.

01:03:12.000 If you want to pin them, I can follow the pins.

01:03:15.000 Okay, I'll do, let's do green.

01:03:20.000 I love to watch GML, of course, and your old show on Rebel Media.

01:03:22.000 My blah, blah, blah.

01:03:23.000 This is boring.

01:03:25.000 I have a two-month-old baby boy who watches your show.

01:03:28.000 This is a boring email, dude. 1.00

01:03:29.000 No one fucking gives a shit if your stupid baby watches our show. 1.00

01:03:32.000 That's so terrible. 1.00

01:03:35.000 That's terrible.

01:03:36.000 That's terrible.

01:03:37.000 Oh, look at that.

01:03:38.000 Your baby doesn't watch our show. 0.64

01:03:40.000 This is like people glorifying their dogs.

01:03:43.000 My dog loves your show.

01:03:46.000 I like that.

01:03:47.000 Whatever that is, though.

01:03:48.000 Yeah, that's a cute touch.

01:03:49.000 It looks nice.

01:03:51.000 You got your baby coming when?

01:03:53.000 Soon.

01:03:54.000 I mean, like, it could be.

01:03:56.000 Good answer.

01:03:58.000 I don't think she's going to be induced, but the doctor was talking about maybe inducing.

01:04:02.000 And she's like, no, I want to go all natural.

01:04:04.000 No, no medicine and no pain.

01:04:06.000 No, no, no.

01:04:06.000 She's going to get something.

01:04:08.000 She's saying.

01:04:08.000 A shot of Demerol or something.

01:04:10.000 She's saying.

01:04:10.000 No, my wife did the first kid with nothing at all.

01:04:14.000 Damn. 0.99

01:04:15.000 It was funny, but I remember my wife was in labor. 0.99

01:04:18.000 And I think the only thing she got was maybe one shot of Demerol.

01:04:22.000 And she kept like, every time she would have a contraction, we'd put her hand on her face, spoosh it in. 0.98

01:04:28.000 So the next morning, she wakes up and she says, why does my fucking nose hurt? 0.98

01:04:32.000 Oh. 1.00

01:04:34.000 I said, because all last night you kept fucking smashing your nose in your face. 1.00

01:04:39.000 But her, I mean, she had a quick labor, so it was not too bad. 0.99

01:04:43.000 How big was he?

01:04:44.000 Do you think you know what?

01:04:46.000 Seven pounds, six ounces or something like that.

01:04:48.000 Oh, I'm impressed you remember that.

01:04:50.000 Seven pounds, eight ounces, somewhere in there.

01:04:53.000 He's gotten a lot and bigger since then.

01:04:55.000 Yeah.

01:04:57.000 He was at the house tonight.

01:04:58.000 He was at the hoose.

01:05:00.000 Is he getting serious with that broad? 0.99

01:05:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:04.000 He was out birthday shopping for her today because it's her birthday this weekend.

01:05:09.000 And oh, he is buying a new PMW.

01:05:12.000 Oi Vei.

01:05:13.000 Oi Vei.

01:05:15.000 He keeps getting all my dream cars and then totaling them.

01:05:18.000 You know, my brother, we had that baby monster who emailed in and said, I can't find a date.

01:05:23.000 I hooked her up with my brother.

01:05:24.000 That's so cool.

01:05:25.000 They've been getting along great, but they haven't met yet.

01:05:27.000 It's been weeks.

01:05:29.000 And he goes, I'm talking to her.

01:05:31.000 She seems really cool.

01:05:32.000 I mean, it's been like 25 hours of FaceTime.

01:05:36.000 If this is a setup, they're really devoted to their job.

01:05:40.000 How do I know this is real? 0.99

01:05:42.000 And he's like, you're either the best brother in the world for setting this up or the worst brother in the world for fucking getting me hustled. 0.99

01:05:49.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:05:50.000 I mean, I just don't see when people start off a relationship online.

01:05:55.000 Like, just it's, it's tough because.

01:05:59.000 Dude, it's a different generation. 1.00

01:06:00.000 The way these people talk to each other, these young people, these Zoomers, they're just like, what happened to your past three relationships? 1.00

01:06:07.000 It's like speed dating.

01:06:08.000 They're just like, why did you break up?

01:06:10.000 What happened?

01:06:11.000 Okay, do you have a pattern of this?

01:06:12.000 Okay, goodbye.

01:06:15.000 Which doesn't allow for any, like when my wife met me, I said, I'm not having kids.

01:06:19.000 I'm not interested.

01:06:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:06:21.000 And then there was the stupidest thing ever imaginable, and she fixed that. 0.90

01:06:25.000 So you're assuming that whatever happens, whatever you don't like about the person you're dating is unfixable. 0.94

01:06:32.000 It's not.

01:06:32.000 No.

01:06:33.000 Compromise.

01:06:34.000 Work.

01:06:35.000 You can change her, especially women like me. 0.98

01:06:40.000 Hi, Gav, Maddie, Rygai.

01:06:41.000 This was number one in the UK in 2001, and the video sounds very gay and unrealistic. 0.80

01:06:45.000 This jam, it's a jam in a Ryan's mum kind of way.

01:06:49.000 I already hate this song, and I hate that we're searching Maddie songs.

01:06:53.000 I should only do emails that specifically want to talk to Maddie, not just...

01:06:58.000 Oh, did you pin it?

01:07:01.000 Who is that?

01:07:03.000 Dinesh.

01:07:04.000 Yeah, I did. 0.99

01:07:06.000 You look like Dinesh meets fucking Hassan Piker. 0.99

01:07:12.000 Wait, was that me? 1.00

01:07:14.000 Yeah.

01:07:14.000 Did you put Dinesh on me?

01:07:16.000 I did.

01:07:16.000 I put a Dinesh on you.

01:07:19.000 Wait, but it's your mouth. 1.00

01:07:21.000 Because you're a toad. 1.00

01:07:22.000 Oh, that's my mouth. 0.99

01:07:23.000 Yeah, it's when you're talking, yeah. 0.94

01:07:25.000 I feel like I'm a toad.

01:07:28.000 Let's just say I was a terrible.

01:07:29.000 I feel like I race cars all over the place.

01:07:33.000 I'm not only Dinesh de Souza, but I'm also on West Coast cars.

01:07:39.000 I like to revamp old Mopars, and I also like to race occasionally.

01:07:44.000 Sometimes when I race, I feel like I have won.

01:07:47.000 Even when they outsmart me, and they have the nitro that burns and shoots into the motor, man.

01:07:53.000 Uh-oh, this is terrible.

01:07:57.000 I can't find in the pins.

01:07:58.000 What's the name of it again?

01:08:00.000 Subject? 0.96

01:08:01.000 If my last email was gay. 0.70

01:08:04.000 Okay. 0.99

01:08:05.000 Why are you gay? 0.99

01:08:07.000 Why are you gay? 0.99

01:08:12.000 Come on, Ryan. 0.99

01:08:14.000 Do your job.

01:08:18.000 Wow, you're really taking your time with this one.

01:08:21.000 Oh, okay, found it.

01:08:22.000 It was really frustrating because every time I typed email, it was something.

01:08:28.000 Oh, we already did that too.

01:08:30.000 Okay.

01:08:31.000 Not his fault.

01:08:33.000 Isaiah Rollins, G-Spot Rice Cake, and Guy with More Girth, Fieri.

01:08:39.000 Me.

01:08:40.000 Wait, why did this come up when I typed in Maddie?

01:08:43.000 I've been called that before.

01:08:44.000 Guy Fieri.

01:08:48.000 Just want to say that not understanding the Instagram culture of streaming one's remarkably unimpressive face doesn't make you an out-of-touch boomer.

01:08:55.000 It just makes you sane.

01:08:56.000 Wait, I think we read this one already.

01:08:58.000 My generation's obsession with themselves is mind-blowing and nauseating. 0.98

01:09:02.000 The girls all think they're the hottest models on the planet, and the guys make complete fags of themselves while making sex faces into the camera. 0.84

01:09:09.000 In either case, they film themselves for no other purpose than getting spurious compliments to further inflate their already leviathan egos.

01:09:17.000 It's incredibly frustrating when I want to just browse memes and I have to filter through a film.

01:09:22.000 We did read this.

01:09:23.000 Yeah.

01:09:24.000 That was from October 5th, I think.

01:09:27.000 All right.

01:09:27.000 I want one specifically for Maddie O'Dell.

01:09:33.000 Sounds like Joe Tonelli imagines he's Robert Downey Jr.

01:09:37.000 Really?

01:09:38.000 From the movie Air America.

01:09:39.000 Are you serious?

01:09:40.000 We're doing this now?

01:09:41.000 Really?

01:09:42.000 This is what we're doing?

01:09:44.000 Here's a guy, your drunk mate Joe. 1.00

01:09:46.000 Gavin, we, the subscribers, care far less about your dumb drunk mate Joe, the big fat liar, than you and Maddie do. 1.00

01:09:56.000 Please don't spend 20 minutes per show going on about this hopeless softcock. 1.00

01:10:01.000 We don't care. 1.00

01:10:03.000 And then he adds, now, what do you think of these big fucking tits? 1.00

01:10:09.000 And he adds a woman. 1.00

01:10:10.000 Hey, now. 0.80

01:10:12.000 Your drunk mate, Joe. 1.00

01:10:13.000 Those are some big, big tits. 1.00

01:10:16.000 Those are really big titles. 1.00

01:10:17.000 Those are some New York boobs. 1.00

01:10:20.000 What do you think of those tits, Matty? 1.00

01:10:21.000 Mongus. 0.99

01:10:22.000 Well, I'm not really a tick guy.

01:10:24.000 Like, it's not my thing, but the last few series, like my ex-wife, she had 34 double D. My girlfriend, my last serious girlfriend, she was 32 double D. And it just. 0.99

01:10:38.000 Titcha tits. 0.98

01:10:39.000 You know, they lay on their back because they're natural. 0.99

01:10:41.000 They're in their armpits.

01:10:44.000 Yeah, what do you do with them? 0.94

01:10:45.000 I guess when they're on top, you smush them in your face.

01:10:48.000 Yeah, that's nice.

01:10:49.000 You motorboat.

01:10:51.000 You motorboat inside of the beach.

01:10:53.000 Pardon me, can I talk to you for my TV show?

01:10:56.000 Please don't run.

01:10:58.000 Boy. 0.88

01:10:59.000 Black privilege. 0.99

01:11:00.000 Some sweet New York boobs. 1.00

01:11:04.000 Yeah, have you seen that segment? 0.97

01:11:06.000 He goes around putting metal awards on.

01:11:08.000 I mean, those are big.

01:11:10.000 I mean, they look a lot bigger than what her frame would normally suppose. 0.99

01:11:13.000 Now, where do you think the nipple is on those suckers? 1.00

01:11:15.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:11:16.000 Right at the top of the triangle or top of the cup.

01:11:18.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:11:19.000 They're looking at the Super Dollar pancake nipple.

01:11:20.000 It's at the bottom of the V. I don't mind that, though.

01:11:23.000 I've never minded nipple stuff.

01:11:25.000 I know a lot of nipple snobs where they're like, it has to be a silver dollar. 1.00

01:11:30.000 I don't care if that nipple is like a frayed tea plate, like a dish sausage. 0.99

01:11:41.000 But they were actually, they were huge. 0.95

01:11:43.000 If you look at the strap on the bikini.

01:11:45.000 If you look at the strap on the bikini, I mean, frayed.

01:11:47.000 She's got to buy custom bikinis, that's for sure. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Yeah, when my wife had our son, she went up to like a G. Oh. 1.00

01:11:57.000 It's crazy.

01:11:58.000 Ouch. 0.99

01:11:59.000 Nipples went inverted and all sorts of crazy shit. 1.00

01:12:02.000 What? 0.99

01:12:02.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:12:03.000 Nipples went in. 0.78

01:12:04.000 Yeah, they were so big that, you know, they didn't. 0.89

01:12:06.000 The nipples couldn't hang on. 0.91

01:12:08.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.97

01:12:10.000 Oh, no.

01:12:12.000 You're telling the truth, though, right?

01:12:13.000 Are they talking about my wife's ex-wife's tips?

01:12:15.000 I don't think so.

01:12:16.000 I don't know what.

01:12:17.000 This one, I don't know what they.

01:12:19.000 How do they know about Maddie's ex-wife's tips?

01:12:21.000 Exactly.

01:12:22.000 That's creepy.

01:12:23.000 That's what I'm talking about.

01:12:24.000 That's weird.

01:12:25.000 Independent fact-checkers, too.

01:12:28.000 Somebody's been nosing around in my trash.

01:12:30.000 That's TMI.

01:12:34.000 Oops.

01:12:35.000 Hate out.

01:12:36.000 I just played a beat. 0.99

01:12:38.000 I know that a common gavinism is that women ruin everything. 1.00

01:12:41.000 Yes. 0.98

01:12:42.000 I happen to agree, except for sex. 1.00

01:12:44.000 It really sucks without women. 1.00

01:12:45.000 Correct. 1.00

01:12:46.000 I started thinking about how rabid people are today about politics, fighting and screaming at each other's families, blah, blah, blah.

01:12:52.000 I bet in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, when it was mainly men involved in politics, men who disagreed with each other on political issues were still friends with each other.

01:13:01.000 I bet they would work together, discuss politics, debate, and argue, but then go out drinking together all night and have a great time.

01:13:08.000 I bet they would even have barbecues together because they were men and were confident enough in themselves to not let such petty disagreement ruin their friendship.

01:13:18.000 I would also add that like I'm pro-Israel, right?

01:13:22.000 But say Maddie, my friend, had like all of this evidence that I had never heard of before about how evil Israel is. 0.99

01:13:32.000 I'm open to fucking shutting it down. 0.98

01:13:35.000 I mean, I might be wrong. 0.99

01:13:38.000 If he had just come from there and he was like a big Israeli expert and he's like, I don't care, but it's not about Palestine.

01:13:44.000 It's about this and that and the corruption and some whole involved thing about how they're really just a Potemkin village that Joe Biden is propping up and the Palestinian thing is a distraction. 0.98

01:13:58.000 I'd be like, holy shit, let me look this up. 0.97

01:14:00.000 But that sounds like a big deal. 0.97

01:14:02.000 I don't have any views outside of pro-life and God existing where they're unshakable.

01:14:10.000 I'm happy to get knocked down.

01:14:12.000 Like with climate change and everything, I just personally think it's not a big deal.

01:14:17.000 But if you have tons of evidence that it is a big deal, real evidence, obviously, then yeah, I'm all in.

01:14:24.000 And I think that's the way real men are.

01:14:27.000 Well, we disagree on one thing, pit bulls.

01:14:29.000 Pit bulls.

01:14:30.000 You know, don't sweat over yo. 0.97

01:14:32.000 I love them.

01:14:33.000 You hate them.

01:14:33.000 Okay.

01:14:34.000 Teach yourself.

01:14:36.000 Yeah.

01:14:39.000 And pit bulls is a funny one, too, because we both have all the facts.

01:14:43.000 Yeah.

01:14:45.000 They are, you know, they do have a bad rep, and there are instances where they have killed people and maimed people.

01:14:53.000 I'm not saying it's the way you're raised.

01:14:54.000 The dog was specifically bred for one thing.

01:14:57.000 They definitely do.

01:14:58.000 Your Honor, he seems to be making my argument pretty exactly.

01:15:02.000 I mean, but Pitbull fills this kind of gap between the pop rap community, because it's like kind of worldly, but it also...

01:15:09.000 No, no, no, Ryan, I don't have a problem with the rapper Pitbull.

01:15:13.000 It's the dog.

01:15:15.000 Oh, I was going to say, okay.

01:15:16.000 Yeah.

01:15:17.000 Much funnier thing would you have been to make a Pitbull face and be like, why aren't you guys arguing about me?

01:15:25.000 And you think of that for next time.

01:15:27.000 There you go.

01:15:27.000 That's true.

01:15:28.000 Especially because as a Puerto Rican, you should be able to do it.

01:15:32.000 Oh, he's Cuban, right? 0.52

01:15:33.000 Yeah, he's Cuban.

01:15:34.000 Cubano.

01:15:35.000 Cubano.

01:15:36.000 Same accent.

01:15:36.000 When women got involved in politics, however, they felt and still feel inadequate and self-conscious, so they lash out in anger.

01:15:42.000 Yes, I strongly believe that.

01:15:44.000 I strongly believe that a lot of this maniacal anger you get from women is their insecurity. 0.99

01:15:52.000 And their emotions.

01:15:54.000 Yeah.

01:15:55.000 Absolutely.

01:15:55.000 Like, say I started screaming at you that you were never in the Hell's Angels.

01:16:00.000 You would just be like, all right, all right, buddy.

01:16:02.000 Yeah, okay.

01:16:03.000 You got me.

01:16:04.000 You got me.

01:16:06.000 You don't have to prove.

01:16:07.000 You have nothing to prove.

01:16:09.000 But when they have something to prove, it's like if you call an alcoholic an alcoholic and they get super fucking mad because you hit, you touched on.

01:16:18.000 You struck a nerve. 0.88

01:16:19.000 You struck a nerve.

01:16:21.000 You can't strike a nerve when you're dealing with someone who understands the truth.

01:16:26.000 Yeah.

01:16:28.000 Women get incredibly emotional and destroy the friendship. 1.00

01:16:32.000 Then their pussy boyfriends and husbands, so true, who have been basically turned into women, start acting the same way. 0.99

01:16:39.000 And that I'm seeing in the suburbs with this hate has no home here sign where the husband is MAGA. 0.99

01:16:46.000 He voted for Trump and he has a Hate Has No Home here sign on his lawn because his wife wants it and whatever makes you happy.

01:16:53.000 That's why most right-wing conservative men want to converse, have discussions, find the truth, but the Libstars want to shut us up, destroy anything and anyone that disagrees with them in a fit of rage.

01:17:04.000 Like as Dennis Prager said, they think we're evil.

01:17:08.000 We just think they're wrong.

01:17:10.000 P.S. This is for Ryan to answer as well.

01:17:13.000 Oh, okay.

01:17:15.000 It looks like a would you rather type of thing. 1.00

01:17:17.000 I haven't read this yet, but if this is involving your dad sucking your dick or some shit about your sister and fucking your sister, guys, come on. 1.00

01:17:27.000 Any incestual incest is so fucking lame thing. 1.00

01:17:33.000 I'm not sucking my dad's balls. 1.00

01:17:35.000 Like, that's obviously, I'd rather almost, I think I'd rather die than anything that's going to ruin my friendship with my, my relationship with my dad. 0.99

01:17:43.000 So don't include family in any kind of would you rather, obviously. 1.00

01:17:50.000 Fucking so stupid. 1.00

01:17:51.000 I heard you guys were talking about me. 1.00

01:17:53.000 Oh my God, Pimple.

01:17:54.000 Hey.

01:17:55.000 You're talking about my rights and, you know, like attacking people.

01:17:58.000 Listen, back in Cuba, I used to attack a lot of people.

01:18:01.000 I just didn't know one thing.

01:18:02.000 Did you bring his cigars?

01:18:04.000 No, no.

01:18:05.000 I think this is a big misunderstanding.

01:18:07.000 You don't disproportionately attack people, do you?

01:18:11.000 Dale Huevo.

01:18:13.000 No, I don't.

01:18:14.000 Back in Cuba, maybe I did a couple of things here and there, but here, I make a music.

01:18:19.000 Yeah, that's what we thought.

01:18:21.000 But there's this reputation you have for overreacting and just locking into someone's neck and not letting go.

01:18:29.000 Yeah, sometimes I would do that. 0.98

01:18:30.000 And people, they run over, they're trying to grab my boss, put a finger on my ass, and then I let go because I like it. 0.98

01:18:39.000 I make them reward my behavior. 0.99

01:18:41.000 That's really all I'm trying to do when I'm biting a neck or bite your little kid's hand or something. 0.67

01:18:47.000 I just want a finger in my kulo. 0.93

01:18:48.000 Oh, you're doing it to get a finger in your kudo.

01:18:51.000 Say, took him a long time to figure that out.

01:18:55.000 You just blew it by saying it on the show.

01:18:58.000 Oh.

01:18:58.000 The jig is up.

01:18:59.000 No, but the baby monsters, you know, they know.

01:19:02.000 The baby monsters, they know.

01:19:03.000 Mr. Worldwide.

01:19:04.000 Tusave.

01:19:05.000 Tusave, si. 1.00

01:19:10.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:19:11.000 Holy girl. 1.00

01:19:11.000 I can't believe we had Pitbull on the show. 1.00

01:19:13.000 That is.

01:19:14.000 Surprise guests.

01:19:16.000 Surprise, a little disappointing to bring any cigars from Cuba.

01:19:19.000 I knew I could tell when Jim Goad was on that Ryan was just doing a good Jim Goad impression, but that was obviously actually Pitbull via Skype.

01:19:29.000 Right. 0.88

01:19:30.000 We're not stupid, my friend. 0.68

01:19:31.000 I didn't say anything because I was starstruck. 0.96

01:19:34.000 You were starstruck?

01:19:35.000 I was starstruck.

01:19:36.000 I'm still kind of collecting myself.

01:19:38.000 You sound like Biden now with that, like...

01:19:40.000 Hey, son is sane as thing.

01:19:43.000 I was Star Wars, man.

01:19:45.000 Star Wars?

01:19:45.000 I'm not Star Wars, man.

01:19:47.000 Beat me up, man. 0.83

01:19:47.000 Starstruck, man. 0.83

01:19:50.000 P.S., this is for Ryan to answer as well.

01:19:52.000 Why would Ryan, why would he have to say that?

01:19:55.000 Are you not usually included in our hypotheticals?

01:19:58.000 Maybe I shirked them.

01:20:00.000 All right.

01:20:01.000 Ready, boys?

01:20:02.000 Let's hear it.

01:20:04.000 Fire away. 1.00

01:20:08.000 If you stuck your dick through a glory hole, and there was porn playing on a screen in front of you, some super hot chick, I'm going to go with Ava Devine. 1.00

01:20:21.000 Sucking a dude's dick. 1.00

01:20:24.000 Then someone started sucking your cock. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Then, when you get to the point of no return, we all know what that is, he says. 1.00

01:20:32.000 When you come.

01:20:33.000 And you are a second away from blowing your load, the curtain comes up and you see it's a dude.

01:20:39.000 Would you come anyways?

01:20:42.000 Would you run out screaming with your pants at your ankles?

01:20:44.000 Have you ever... 1.00

01:20:46.000 Have either of you ever stuck your dick into a glory hole and has Maddie. 1.00

01:20:50.000 What? 1.00

01:20:51.000 No, I haven't done that.

01:20:52.000 Glory holes are like in comic books, like adult-rated comic books.

01:20:56.000 Do they even exist?

01:20:58.000 There's a whole porn genre.

01:21:00.000 Yeah, there's a porn genre.

01:21:03.000 This is...

01:21:03.000 Is it a thing, though?

01:21:05.000 Avid Devine?

01:21:06.000 Maybe not this picture, but the...

01:21:07.000 That's Avid Devine. 0.81

01:21:08.000 I think she's the most beautiful woman in porn. 1.00

01:21:12.000 I don't support porn. 0.82

01:21:14.000 That's not her. 1.00

01:21:15.000 Dick sucking listening. 0.99

01:21:17.000 Ian Fidance, he's a comedian. 0.98

01:21:19.000 He claims that there are glory holes in Chelsea, and he got denied at one, and he's got a story about it.

01:21:25.000 Denied?

01:21:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:26.000 Why did his balls stink? 0.99

01:21:27.000 How'd he get denied? 0.99

01:21:28.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:21:29.000 If you walk around in 100-degree weather and 100% humidity in New York City and you go to get your dick suck and you put your pants down. 0.99

01:21:35.000 They should have like a bunch of bleach wipes. 0.99

01:21:41.000 Has Maddie, has anybody ever done that? 0.98

01:21:43.000 Sounds like a lot of shit can go very wrong. 1.00

01:21:45.000 Yeah, moron, of course a lot of shit can go wrong. 1.00

01:21:47.000 That sounds terrifying to you. 1.00

01:21:48.000 See, the problem with this whole hypothetical is it implies that we would do a glory hole.

01:21:54.000 I wouldn't do a glory hole ever.

01:21:56.000 Correct.

01:21:58.000 I'm not even in prison. 0.98

01:21:59.000 Not even if I just got out of prison and I hadn't had a blowjob in 10 years. 0.98

01:22:05.000 False information. 1.00

01:22:06.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:22:08.000 It looks like maybe you're not. 1.00

01:22:10.000 Maybe glory holes do exist. 0.74

01:22:13.000 All right, I might give it a whirl if it had been that long. 1.00

01:22:17.000 But you want your dick sucked by a fairly attractive woman, not a supermodel. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Right. 1.00

01:22:26.000 So putting your dick in a hole, the odds of it being a reasonable lady are like one in a million. 1.00

01:22:32.000 Slim to none. 1.00

01:22:33.000 Well, if you go to like Thailand and Bangkok and all that, they get those blowjob bars. 1.00

01:22:38.000 You fucking belly up to the bar and you fucking, they got a bunch of girls behind the bar sucking dicks. 1.00

01:22:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:44.000 Yeah, that's different, though. 1.00

01:22:46.000 Yeah.

01:22:46.000 That's not a glory hole.

01:22:48.000 No.

01:22:50.000 Okay, look at this.

01:22:51.000 We've got some more Maddies that are live from tonight. 1.00

01:22:54.000 Nice.

01:22:56.000 Hey, Maddie and the other two. 0.99

01:22:58.000 I know you raped a girl in the East Village in 1992.

01:23:04.000 Her name was Rachel Sandrak, and here's a picture and the police report that she... 1.00

01:23:09.000 No, just kidding.

01:23:12.000 There was no...

01:23:12.000 Wait, but hold on.

01:23:14.000 I'm like, Rachel Sandrak?

01:23:15.000 Maybe I know her.

01:23:17.000 There was no false information claim for that.

01:23:19.000 Oh, yeah, that's disturbing.

01:23:20.000 So it's accurate.

01:23:21.000 It's true.

01:23:22.000 Hey, Maddie, and the other two. 0.99

01:23:23.000 You should check out the song Tired Man by Doug Powell.

01:23:27.000 It's one feminism. 1.00

01:23:30.000 What?

01:23:30.000 So you could say it's a bit different from songs you hear nowadays.

01:23:34.000 I think it would make a great anthem for the show.

01:23:37.000 Okay?

01:23:38.000 This guy cheated, by the way.

01:23:39.000 He knew we were on a Maddie bender.

01:23:41.000 So he made his email, Hey, Maddie, and the other two.

01:23:43.000 Got nothing to do with Maddie.

01:23:59.000 Late 50s? 0.89

01:24:04.000 Lazy women always doing me wrong. 1.00

01:24:06.000 You know, I was thinking the other day, too. 1.00

01:24:08.000 I think Jim Goldman have actually given me this, but they're like, oh, white man's always ripping off the black man, like the blues and shit. 0.96

01:24:15.000 Where'd you get the guitar, dude? 0.98

01:24:18.000 It's not bongos. 0.89

01:24:22.000 So you're welcome.

01:24:24.000 Oh, did you see this?

01:24:25.000 One of our buddies, he's a PB.

01:24:27.000 And then also Bobby Pickles found This in Netflix.

01:24:31.000 It claims that Proud Boys are racist, and it's on Netflix.

01:24:53.000 You don't think Prowboy queen talking to me.

01:25:00.000 On Netflix.

01:25:02.000 Wow.

01:25:03.000 Yeah, we talked about that before.

01:25:06.000 You're going to fork out a...

01:25:07.000 Like, say Prowboys were racist.

01:25:09.000 I don't think racists deserve to have their eyes removed. 0.69

01:25:13.000 Correct.

01:25:14.000 That is very true.

01:25:16.000 I don't agree with you.

01:25:18.000 I think that it's mean to think that certain races are inexorably inferior and need to be deported. 0.75

01:25:26.000 It's a silly belief, as are raw foodists and vegans, but to remove their eyeballs? 0.89

01:25:37.000 And by the way, here's another kind of crazy angle on that. 0.85

01:25:41.000 If there's a fork that's walking around doing that in a Christian world, then it has to be God's divine intervention. 0.98

01:25:51.000 So now God is de-eyeballing people, gouging their eyes out.

01:25:56.000 And aren't you proving them?

01:25:57.000 Because if those exist in a Christian world, then God doesn't exist if they're not part of God's plan. 0.98

01:26:07.000 You know what I mean?

01:26:08.000 Yeah.

01:26:08.000 Like, God wouldn't allow a magic fork to just cut people's eyes out.

01:26:14.000 Hey, fags, I think Maddie doing a show would be awesome. 1.00

01:26:17.000 Would love to hear more stories of the old crime days straight from the big guy's mouth. 0.99

01:26:22.000 Plenty of stories.

01:26:24.000 Yeah, that's an interesting idea.

01:26:25.000 What do you think of that, Maddie?

01:26:28.000 Who knows?

01:26:29.000 Who knows what holds down the road?

01:26:33.000 What about a, well, the problem with your industry is that any kind of talk seems like snitching.

01:26:41.000 Right.

01:26:41.000 It's called dry snitching.

01:26:43.000 Dry snitching? 1.00

01:26:44.000 I never heard that shit. 0.99

01:26:45.000 Yeah, it's like if you tell about crimes that you did and you mention people's names. 0.99

01:26:51.000 Like if I go into a story, I won't use people's real names or exact times and dates so nobody can be implicated in crimes.

01:26:58.000 Because there's certain crimes that don't have statute of limitations.

01:27:02.000 Well, like what crimes?

01:27:03.000 Huh?

01:27:04.000 Murder.

01:27:05.000 I think for the money.

01:27:06.000 Murder has no statue of limitations.

01:27:08.000 I could have killed someone 100 years ago and they come get me.

01:27:11.000 Allegedly. 0.99

01:27:12.000 Allegedly.

01:27:13.000 And attempted murder.

01:27:16.000 I'm not sure.

01:27:16.000 Because we had that cop on the show from Colorado who got shot 50 years ago and he caught the guy and the guy went to jail.

01:27:24.000 And he's obviously alive if he caught the guy.

01:27:26.000 Right.

01:27:27.000 Like certain, like a lot of crimes have statute of limitations.

01:27:30.000 If they're felonies, it's usually seven years.

01:27:32.000 Like after seven years, they don't initiate prosecution.

01:27:35.000 They can't pursue the charges.

01:27:38.000 Oh.

01:27:39.000 For me, remember, I talked to Tiny Tuetse the other day.

01:27:44.000 He called me up, and he brought up an interesting detail.

01:27:48.000 So the guy who shot him in the foot, it was in the foot.

01:27:51.000 Oh, it wasn't in the foot.

01:27:52.000 It was in the foot, but it was from far away. 0.99

01:27:54.000 So it's a fucking brutal shot because it went this way through his foot. 0.99

01:27:59.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:28:00.000 So all these bones are shattered, which isn't a big deal. 0.99

01:28:02.000 They're just little fucking lollipop sticks. 0.98

01:28:05.000 But the heel bone, that's destroyed. 0.99

01:28:09.000 So he's got to deal with that.

01:28:11.000 But I go, so, and I was actually bringing up you, Maddie.

01:28:15.000 I said, so my buddy said that it's actually a big deal felony assault.

01:28:20.000 Right.

01:28:21.000 Assault one.

01:28:22.000 Assault one.

01:28:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:28:23.000 And he goes, but it should be way worse.

01:28:25.000 And I go, why should it be worse?

01:28:26.000 And he goes, because that guy was on chats, the guy who shot Tiny was on chat saying, Tiny needs a bullet.

01:28:35.000 Okay.

01:28:36.000 So that's premeditated.

01:28:37.000 Premeditated.

01:28:38.000 Could be attempted murder.

01:28:40.000 But because of where he gets shot in the foot, the likelihood that you're going to die is very slim.

01:28:46.000 Like, even if you get shot in the thigh, you have more of a chance of getting a mortal murder, yeah.

01:28:52.000 Bleed out.

01:28:53.000 But yeah, like when it comes to assault one and attempted murder, it's depending on where the injuries are and what the intent, like, but not.

01:29:01.000 But yeah, talk about intent.

01:29:03.000 And that wasn't just the one.

01:29:04.000 There was another.

01:29:05.000 He's on another chat saying, like, we need to start taking these proud boys out. 0.99

01:29:09.000 We need to start shooting them, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:29:11.000 Like a bunch of examples of him saying, let's kill Tiny. 1.00

01:29:14.000 Giving them all the rope they need to hang them. 0.99

01:29:17.000 I mean, unfortunately, I know a girl who's a close friend of mine who had her ex-boyfriend broke into her house and shot her in the leg with a shotgun. 0.98

01:29:29.000 And it blew like half of her ankle off and everything.

01:29:31.000 And let me tell you, to this day, it's a tough, when the ankle is destroyed, it's a tough road.

01:29:39.000 Yeah, I imagine your whole body's weight is on that every time you step a million times a day.

01:29:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:46.000 I broke my heel in a motorcycle accident once.

01:29:50.000 I was going out there in 2004.

01:29:52.000 I was riding out to California.

01:29:53.000 I went down in Omaha, Nebraska.

01:29:56.000 And, you know, as I went over the high side, my foot hit the ground.

01:30:01.000 I shattered my heel.

01:30:02.000 And, oh, it's almost as bad as breaking my tailbone.

01:30:06.000 Really?

01:30:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:07.000 But when you have wounds like that where the heel is destroyed and it's open, it's, I mean, I could show you pictures privately and stuff.

01:30:15.000 It's pretty bad.

01:30:17.000 We could show them on the show.

01:30:19.000 I'd have to get them.

01:30:21.000 The heel is why I started believing in God, because when my daughter was born, I was looking at her heel and I thought how perfect it is and I realized God exists.

01:30:29.000 Do you believe in God?

01:30:30.000 Of course.

01:30:31.000 Are you Roman Catholic?

01:30:33.000 Born and raised Roman Catholic.

01:30:34.000 You've always believed in God.

01:30:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:37.000 This is from a guy named Jamie.

01:30:40.000 The subject matter is Maddie, and it says we need more Joe stories. 1.00

01:30:45.000 Fuck the baby monsters. 1.00

01:30:46.000 And when he says that, he means the ones who say no more. 1.00

01:30:49.000 He's referring to the earlier letter.

01:30:51.000 Joe stories.

01:30:53.000 I have a Joe story.

01:30:54.000 I'm not sure I've told this on the show before.

01:30:56.000 Ryan, you don't drink.

01:30:58.000 Maybe you can help me out here.

01:30:59.000 Correct.

01:31:02.000 Did I talk about Joe and law enforcement and the two dads that were at the bar?

01:31:08.000 I think I did.

01:31:12.000 You mentioned it to me the other day.

01:31:15.000 These two MAGA dads were at the bar, and they're talking about Nelson Mandela.

01:31:18.000 Yeah, I think I did.

01:31:19.000 Nelson Mandela, yes.

01:31:20.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:31:21.000 And then, so I wasn't, I wasn't like, fuck, you're a dead man. 1.00

01:31:25.000 I was just like, Nelson Mandela's a terrorist. 1.00

01:31:27.000 He killed 300 people. 0.99

01:31:28.000 And Winnie Mandela is much worse with the tire necking or whatever they call it.

01:31:32.000 What do they call it?

01:31:32.000 Necklacing?

01:31:33.000 Necklacing.

01:31:34.000 They put a...

01:31:35.000 They take a...

01:31:36.000 Winnie Mandela did this to dozens of people she saw as a threat.

01:31:40.000 She put an empty tire around their necks. 0.99

01:31:43.000 It's filled with gasoline. 0.79

01:31:45.000 You light it on fire. 1.00

01:31:46.000 It burns your fucking face off. 1.00

01:31:49.000 And then it slowly melts the hot rubber down your body. 1.00

01:31:55.000 That's stadistic.

01:31:57.000 The worst way to die imaginable.

01:31:59.000 Sadistic.

01:32:00.000 Look at that.

01:32:01.000 That was Nelson Mandela's right-hand woman.

01:32:05.000 Anyway.

01:32:06.000 Then he gets out of jail for like 30-something years and divorces her.

01:32:10.000 So I didn't threaten the guy or anything, but it was a little tense.

01:32:13.000 And then Joe Tonelli goes, by the way, guys, you got law enforcement behind the bar.

01:32:21.000 I mentioned that to him yesterday.

01:32:23.000 What did he say?

01:32:26.000 I said, Joe.

01:32:27.000 Oh, we serious?

01:32:27.000 I said, Joe, we're doing this right now.

01:32:29.000 They said, Joe, the job in FedEx didn't go as planned.

01:32:34.000 But I heard you were back behind the stick last night, you know, pouring beers.

01:32:38.000 I go, I heard that you were telling people that it was law enforcement behind the bar.

01:32:44.000 That wouldn't mean you, wouldn't it?

01:32:47.000 What, are you serious?

01:32:48.000 Really?

01:32:50.000 What are we doing?

01:32:50.000 Really now?

01:32:51.000 Oh, really?

01:32:52.000 Matt, now you're accusing me of this?

01:32:56.000 Dude, it was a lie so absurd.

01:32:58.000 I can't remember.

01:32:59.000 It was me, Jose.

01:33:00.000 I can't remember who else was there.

01:33:02.000 Maybe James.

01:33:03.000 And we didn't even make fun of him.

01:33:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:33:05.000 It was so absurd that we all went.

01:33:08.000 Yeah.

01:33:10.000 What?

01:33:11.000 Like, that's a new one.

01:33:13.000 Anyway, let's.

01:33:14.000 Let's say that again.

01:33:16.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:33:16.000 That was the tone.

01:33:18.000 I wasn't, like, I thought I misheard.

01:33:20.000 Because I was like, maybe there's a cop that's going to help you out with the bar?

01:33:25.000 Yeah.

01:33:26.000 Is he here bar back?

01:33:27.000 Is there a cop bar back here?

01:33:30.000 Because you're not in law enforcement.

01:33:32.000 You're in nothing enforcement.

01:33:34.000 You can't enforce your own law.

01:33:37.000 You can't even enforce your own will.

01:33:40.000 Your life's a joke. 1.00

01:33:43.000 Fucking terrible. 1.00

01:33:47.000 I hope the fans like that dog because I'm not a fan of the dog. 1.00

01:33:52.000 My wife goes, let's get a rabbit. 1.00

01:33:55.000 Our boy will love it.

01:33:57.000 Our youngest boy will love it so much.

01:33:59.000 Don't worry.

01:33:59.000 You'll see plenty on your lawn.

01:34:01.000 Yeah, there's plenty already.

01:34:03.000 And she's like, they're so cute and he loves animals.

01:34:06.000 And I'm like, he'll love that rabbit for 15 minutes.

01:34:10.000 15 minutes. 1.00

01:34:11.000 And then we have this smelling fucking shit machine in a cage eating honey. 1.00

01:34:16.000 I don't think they smell bad at all. 1.00

01:34:18.000 I used to have a rabbit.

01:34:20.000 They don't smell too bad though.

01:34:21.000 For how long?

01:34:22.000 When?

01:34:23.000 Like a year or two.

01:34:24.000 More than a year.

01:34:25.000 They don't they live 10 years? 1.00

01:34:26.000 What did your fucking recons fry them up? 1.00

01:34:29.000 No, I think we either set her free or she ran away into the woods. 1.00

01:34:34.000 Cheddar, her name was.

01:34:35.000 See, it's easy for Puerto Ricans to talk about pets because they don't really put in the time. 1.00

01:34:40.000 They usually just escape or they're lost.

01:34:42.000 As like probably the least Puerto Rican, Puerto Rican out there, I loved this rabbit and I used to play with her and yeah, she was great. 0.99

01:34:49.000 Did you pick it up by the ears?

01:34:51.000 No, no.

01:34:52.000 Actually, there was this one black guy, Bill, Uncle Bill.

01:34:55.000 He was like a friend of the family, but we called him Uncle.

01:34:57.000 And he would chase me around and pretend that he was going to cook and make Pfeffenhofer, which is like bunny stew.

01:35:03.000 Yeah, Hafen Pfeffer.

01:35:04.000 Yeah, HafenPfeffer.

01:35:05.000 Yeah, it's a big German meal.

01:35:07.000 And he would chase me around.

01:35:08.000 I was like, is there anybody going to stop him?

01:35:10.000 Because I was convinced.

01:35:11.000 I was young enough to think that he would cook.

01:35:15.000 I like rabbit.

01:35:16.000 I've eaten it many times.

01:35:17.000 Eat it?

01:35:17.000 Oh.

01:35:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:35:22.000 Alrighty, let's take some calls.

01:35:24.000 I'm getting a little trippy.

01:35:28.000 Dude, thanks for calling.

01:35:29.000 I'm going to pour some drinks.

01:35:30.000 There you go.

01:35:31.000 Thanks for calling.

01:35:33.000 Frankly, that's what they call it.

01:35:35.000 Quite frankly, you are on the air. 1.00

01:35:39.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

01:35:41.000 You want me to learn, Sheriff? 1.00

01:35:43.000 Understand why.

01:35:45.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:35:46.000 You have one thing.

01:35:48.000 Thank you for calling.

01:35:49.000 It's great hearing from you.

01:35:50.000 Bye-bye.

01:35:51.000 All right, next call.

01:35:53.000 Stay classy, San Diego.

01:35:57.000 Alrighty then.

01:35:58.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we're pouring beers and shots and not on camera.

01:36:03.000 You're on cam.

01:36:04.000 She wouldn't want to be on camera.

01:36:05.000 Okay.

01:36:07.000 Thanks for calling.

01:36:09.000 Now we're on the wide shot.

01:36:11.000 There we go.

01:36:12.000 Boom.

01:36:14.000 Boom. 1.00

01:36:15.000 Damn. 1.00

01:36:19.000 Fucking. 1.00

01:36:19.000 I'm beach ball mad. 1.00

01:36:21.000 No, dude, I was mad. 0.99

01:36:22.000 Like, I was, I was fucking... 0.99

01:36:24.000 I was beach ball mad. 0.99

01:36:26.000 Beach ball mad.

01:36:27.000 Gasp. 1.00

01:36:30.000 When I found out she was cheating on me, I got fucking... 1.00

01:36:32.000 I was like fucking beach ball mad. 1.00

01:36:35.000 You don't even want to know, son. 1.00

01:36:37.000 You don't want it.

01:36:38.000 Yo, son.

01:36:39.000 It was ugly.

01:36:40.000 It was ugly.

01:36:40.000 I don't like this.

01:36:41.000 I like Max admitting Max admitting he's becoming black in prison. 1.00

01:36:45.000 He's like, the other day, this brother was like, you heard?

01:36:49.000 And I did.

01:36:50.000 I had heard.

01:36:51.000 You heard?

01:36:52.000 I heard.

01:36:54.000 You know what's weird about those guys, by the way? 1.00

01:36:57.000 When you send them shit, they rip open all the packages. 0.99

01:37:00.000 So they just give the prisoner the thing. 1.00

01:37:03.000 Yeah.

01:37:03.000 So if you want them to know it's from you, put a note in the thing.

01:37:08.000 Now, I know it's weird because Amazon is the best way to send them shit. 0.94

01:37:11.000 But if you send them something from Amazon, then send them a letter going, did you get the thing that I sent? 0.99

01:37:16.000 Yeah.

01:37:17.000 So they know who it's from.

01:37:18.000 Follow up a little letter.

01:37:24.000 That never gets old.

01:37:26.000 Jesus Christ.

01:37:27.000 Mr. You okay in there?

01:37:29.000 I read about Gandalfini today.

01:37:32.000 Yeah, the New York Post?

01:37:33.000 No, I don't know.

01:37:34.000 I got in a little Gandalfini thing.

01:37:37.000 I looked him up on Wikipedia and stuff, and so he was like a popular dude in high school who was very tall, basketball guy, and was in a bunch of plays.

01:37:47.000 And then he was in true romance where he was like an enforcer.

01:37:50.000 Yeah, he beat the girl up.

01:37:51.000 He beat the girl up.

01:37:53.000 And I think my theory is David Chase and the producers were looking for cheap sunglasses. 0.98

01:38:02.000 They were looking for someone who's not going to ask for like an Al Pacino or a fucking De Niro that's going to ask for a million dollars an episode. 0.89

01:38:10.000 And so they found a guy who was like a drama club nerd, not a nerd, but a drama club kid. 0.96

01:38:16.000 And he looked pretty good in a couple of movies.

01:38:21.000 There he is.

01:38:21.000 Dude, he's got the smile you hated from his son, though.

01:38:24.000 No, that doesn't bother me.

01:38:25.000 That doesn't bother me.

01:38:26.000 You know what I didn't realize? 0.98

01:38:27.000 His son's a chink. 1.00

01:38:29.000 His son's a chink. 1.00

01:38:30.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:38:31.000 Who says that?

01:38:33.000 Wait, what?

01:38:34.000 God?

01:38:35.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:36.000 Genetics?

01:38:37.000 Deborah Lynn.

01:38:38.000 Deborah Lynn.

01:38:38.000 He married a rice ball.

01:38:40.000 Oh.

01:38:41.000 Wow.

01:38:41.000 He can't see that.

01:38:42.000 So the weird smile you're seeing is like a rice-arone.

01:38:46.000 Oh, I see. 0.97

01:38:48.000 Not that half Asians are annoying.

01:38:51.000 Hey, I'm one of those things that you mentioned. 0.67

01:38:55.000 Yeah.

01:38:55.000 Look at your office.

01:38:59.000 Need I say more? 1.00

01:39:01.000 The fuck's going on? 0.99

01:39:03.000 Like, what is that monitor? 1.00

01:39:04.000 Go back, Ryan.

01:39:06.000 What is that monitor?

01:39:07.000 Like, what is that?

01:39:08.000 Oh, that's our security cam.

01:39:10.000 Why is it off?

01:39:11.000 Because I ran out of outlets, and I just switch them on and off.

01:39:16.000 Plus, that'll drain the electricity.

01:39:18.000 It's better to keep the monitor off.

01:39:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:20.000 Let's keep the security low.

01:39:22.000 Why, if there's one thing we want to save, it's the 38 cents a year that our security monitors cost.

01:39:29.000 Well, I just made that up on the fly, but I need this light.

01:39:33.000 It makes things green. 0.98

01:39:34.000 All right, shut up. 0.99

01:39:35.000 Let's take a call. 0.99

01:39:36.000 I can't believe we've only left 20 minutes for calls.

01:39:39.000 Holy flips.

01:39:40.000 Shoot.

01:39:41.000 This is AT ⁇ T 985. 0.93

01:39:44.000 You're on the line.

01:39:45.000 Hey, Joe.

01:39:46.000 Yo.

01:39:47.000 Hey.

01:39:49.000 First off, first off, great show tonight.

01:39:52.000 Oh. 1.00

01:39:52.000 Second, Ryan, you're having way too much fun with the fucking software. 1.00

01:39:57.000 That's true. 1.00

01:39:58.000 Three, Maddie has great posture.

01:40:01.000 And the last one is the t-shirts. 0.97

01:40:05.000 The apostrophe, like for the two that are going to be auctioned off, why don't you just sign your names a little fucking bigger? 0.89

01:40:14.000 Did you ever think of that? 0.89

01:40:17.000 Wait, what do you mean sign them bigger?

01:40:18.000 An apostrophe is this big.

01:40:22.000 So?

01:40:23.000 Does it really matter?

01:40:24.000 I mean, it could be a little bit bigger.

01:40:25.000 No, that would look ridiculous, though, to have this big signature.

01:40:28.000 There's only two of them.

01:40:29.000 There's only two.

01:40:30.000 I understand, but it's not an apostrophe anymore.

01:40:33.000 Ryan's idea was make it the apostrophe.

01:40:36.000 In the world of apostrophes, they're this big.

01:40:40.000 Nah.

01:40:41.000 Well, I mean, we could be different again.

01:40:43.000 Thanks for calling. 1.00

01:40:44.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:40:45.000 Bye. 1.00

01:40:47.000 Like, do people know what the word apostrophe means?

01:40:49.000 In fact, the concept of an apostrophe is, I don't have time to write let us, so I'm going to write let's, and then I need you to know that I cheated, so I'm just going to leave a little boop, a little zip, a little.

01:41:05.000 Now, if we put a signature in a, it's going to be small.

01:41:09.000 If we write Gavin Miles McInnes or Ryan Catsu Rivera, it's clearly not an apostrophe anymore. 0.94

01:41:17.000 And don't fucking make that a gif of me, Zeke Heiling. 0.99

01:41:24.000 Even that looks stupid. 1.00

01:41:30.000 He's loving this bullet almost more than Makers. 1.00

01:41:32.000 Yeah, it's real sweet.

01:41:34.000 I like it.

01:41:35.000 I like it a lot.

01:41:36.000 Jason's online.

01:41:37.000 He's got a movie recommendation.

01:41:39.000 It's probably Friday the 13th.

01:41:43.000 Yeah, Gavin, I got two recommendations.

01:41:46.000 They're both Russian war movies about World War II.

01:41:50.000 First one is called Come and See from 1985.

01:41:54.000 And then the second one is called T34, like the tank.

01:41:58.000 And that's from 2019.

01:42:00.000 Go check them out.

01:42:01.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:42:02.000 T34.

01:42:02.000 I guess I'll text those to Russia.

01:42:04.000 Come and see.

01:42:05.000 Come and see.

01:42:07.000 And T34.

01:42:09.000 Here's T34.

01:42:11.000 I think it was the Tiger, the Tank.

01:42:13.000 I got to admit, I'm such a Western chauvinist that when I see Eastern suffering, I feel nothing. 0.93

01:42:21.000 I know they're my race.

01:42:23.000 I feel nothing.

01:42:25.000 That might as well be an Indian mudslide. 0.99

01:42:28.000 Well, is Scotland really been the kind of guy?

01:42:34.000 Scotland's Western Europe?

01:42:35.000 Huh?

01:42:36.000 You don't think Scotland's Western Europe?

01:42:38.000 Yeah.

01:42:40.000 Say, when you say there's damage to the East, you feel nothing.

01:42:42.000 I'm like, yeah, because you're not from the East Europe.

01:42:45.000 Right.

01:42:46.000 Like, Eastern Europe's like the Warsaw Black Pole. 1.00

01:42:48.000 Yeah, well, like, God hates communism.

01:42:51.000 So when I see communists fail, I go, yeah.

01:42:54.000 Yeah.

01:42:54.000 That's what we told him.

01:42:55.000 That's the way it should be.

01:42:57.000 That's the deal.

01:42:58.000 You played God, and you lost.

01:43:03.000 It's like they say, you know, deciding who eats and who lives is playing God.

01:43:07.000 You're literally playing God at chess, and he wins every time.

01:43:12.000 So it's like Indian mudslides. 1.00

01:43:14.000 Like when I'm on actual public freakouts and they go, a woman in Delhi, India, New Delhi, is stoned to death for cheating on her husband.

01:43:23.000 I'm like, don't care.

01:43:26.000 I figured as much.

01:43:28.000 That's my subs. 0.99

01:43:29.000 Come and see. 1.00

01:43:44.000 Communism can take something as amazing as white people and turn it into a fucking nightmare. 0.99

01:43:58.000 I mean, the thing is, as a war movie vet, it's not really my decision what battles I have to go into, so I will watch these. 0.95

01:44:06.000 You've done foreign tours, yeah.

01:44:08.000 I've done foreign tours.

01:44:10.000 You'll be in theater, as they say.

01:44:12.000 I don't want to toot my own horn, but a lot of vets have been to one war, like Vietnam or Iraq.

01:44:18.000 Afghanistan.

01:44:20.000 As a movie war vet, I've been to World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam.

01:44:29.000 Iraq won.

01:44:30.000 Iraq won.

01:44:31.000 Iraq war.

01:44:31.000 Afghanistan.

01:44:32.000 Afghanistan.

01:44:33.000 And all the clandestine ones.

01:44:35.000 I'm not saying I'm better than war vets, but how many have been to six wars?

01:44:40.000 That's a lot of time. 0.99

01:44:42.000 It's a lot of fucking time, dude. 0.99

01:44:46.000 Folks, if... 1.00

01:44:49.000 Really?

01:44:50.000 Oh, really?

01:44:50.000 You serious?

01:44:52.000 You serious?

01:44:53.000 We're doing this?

01:44:53.000 I'm not a war vet.

01:44:54.000 Oh, really?

01:44:55.000 Really?

01:44:55.000 We're going to do this now?

01:44:57.000 Are you serious?

01:44:58.000 We've got the fact checkers now.

01:45:00.000 Oh, we serious?

01:45:02.000 Are you serious? 0.99

01:45:04.000 What is the fucking growth on his lip? 1.00

01:45:08.000 It looks like somebody punched. 1.00

01:45:09.000 No, you know what it is?

01:45:11.000 It's because he's missing all his teeth now.

01:45:13.000 Uh-huh.

01:45:14.000 Like, one tooth at the bottom is snagging his lip.

01:45:18.000 So when he talks, it's like hung up on it.

01:45:20.000 But it's an abscess of, like, it's an abscess the size of an eyeball.

01:45:27.000 And he's like, are you serious?

01:45:28.000 Serious?

01:45:29.000 Yeah, Joe, I'm not making fun of you.

01:45:31.000 I'm just like, what's with your lump?

01:45:32.000 And he goes, I had it drained two times last month.

01:45:35.000 Two times.

01:45:35.000 I'm the same.

01:45:36.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:45:37.000 I'm the same.

01:45:38.000 Okay, well, get it drained this month. 1.00

01:45:40.000 It's fucking disgusting. 1.00

01:45:41.000 It looks like you're chewing tobacco, but your tobacco is your face. 1.00

01:45:46.000 I don't like the butt chicken.

01:45:47.000 It's too much of indecence.

01:45:49.000 I don't like the Joe face.

01:45:52.000 Too much lip.

01:45:53.000 Too much of indecence.

01:45:57.000 Who do we got here?

01:45:58.000 Tom.

01:45:59.000 He's got some pet peeves.

01:46:01.000 Okay, let's hear him.

01:46:02.000 Tommy Peeves.

01:46:04.000 TP.

01:46:06.000 Hey, what's up?

01:46:07.000 What's going on?

01:46:08.000 Remember in the past when you did that 10 things I hate most thing?

01:46:13.000 I love you TPs.

01:46:16.000 I can't believe you didn't add this one.

01:46:17.000 Men that have long nails. 0.99

01:46:19.000 It's so disturbing and gross. 0.97

01:46:22.000 Where do you live?

01:46:24.000 Ontario, Canada.

01:46:26.000 I don't see it.

01:46:27.000 I don't see men with long nails.

01:46:30.000 What?

01:46:30.000 Just earlier in that video that the guy made you play off Netflix, I couldn't watch.

01:46:35.000 The guy had such long nails.

01:46:37.000 So distracting.

01:46:39.000 Is it white men or is it maybe it's like a cultural thing like with Somalis or Middle Eastern men?

01:46:44.000 Oh, the Indian refugees or whatever. 1.00

01:46:49.000 It's terrible to them.

01:46:50.000 But I mean, white, everyone, it's so common. 1.00

01:46:54.000 It's so terrible.

01:46:55.000 Not in my world.

01:46:56.000 What about you, Maddie?

01:46:59.000 I noticed what guys have longer than normal.

01:47:01.000 I mean, my name is North.

01:47:02.000 Well, there's essential Americans who will grow out their pinky thumbs super long to do Coke.

01:47:10.000 You know who has long nails? 1.00

01:47:11.000 But I don't see it that much.

01:47:12.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:47:13.000 You know who kind of has long nails? 0.99

01:47:14.000 Who?

01:47:15.000 And I noticed it today.

01:47:16.000 He sent me a pic.

01:47:16.000 No, he sent me a picture yesterday.

01:47:18.000 Bill.

01:47:20.000 Million dollar bill.

01:47:21.000 Oh, really?

01:47:22.000 He sent me a picture.

01:47:22.000 He was holding an orange juice bottle.

01:47:26.000 And I looked at it and I seen his finger and I go, he needs to trim those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:47:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:31.000 It's a bad look if I came across it a lot, but I don't.

01:47:34.000 I have a list I'm working on. 1.00

01:47:36.000 I always wonder how the fuck people wipe their fucking ass when they have nails that long. 1.00

01:47:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:41.000 Like, it's like, what do you... 1.00

01:47:45.000 Well, black women have long nails, but the good news is they don't have to worry about it because they don't do anything. 1.00

01:47:53.000 Here's two I have. 0.98

01:47:54.000 When someone calls someone a gossip, I don't like that guy.

01:47:58.000 He's a gossip.

01:47:59.000 Or she's a gossip. 0.83

01:48:03.000 That doesn't disgust. 0.98

01:48:04.000 Gross. 0.66

01:48:04.000 I could do it. 0.66

01:48:05.000 It was very gross, dude.

01:48:07.000 Oh, you did it?

01:48:08.000 Yeah, that was me in the clip.

01:48:10.000 Oh, sorry.

01:48:12.000 It's just like, it's going down, like, going down fingernails is like going down wood.

01:48:16.000 No, it was gross, dude.

01:48:17.000 It's a minute time.

01:48:19.000 But why is it gross?

01:48:22.000 It's just like it might as well be going down anything.

01:48:26.000 What do you do with it?

01:48:27.000 It's like somebody has like dreadlocks on their fingers, dude.

01:48:30.000 No, dreadlocks collect.

01:48:31.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:48:32.000 Yeah, I guess you're right.

01:48:33.000 I guess it scrapes a lot. 0.99

01:48:34.000 Dude, imagine if somebody had dreadlocks on their balls, dude. 0.94

01:48:38.000 Steve, Steve-O, do you remember used to, I was on your RAD email list. 0.97

01:48:43.000 It was like Johnny Knoxville, Mike Judge was on it, all the jackass dudes, and you would do whippets and send out these 7,000-long, 7,000-word emails talking about like redemption and justice and Jesus and finding yourself.

01:49:00.000 Do you remember any of that?

01:49:01.000 I don't remember any of that, dude.

01:49:03.000 I was high as balls, dude. 0.98

01:49:07.000 They were fucking hilarious. 1.00

01:49:10.000 You were retarded. 1.00

01:49:11.000 Yep. 0.99

01:49:12.000 I'm better now, though.

01:49:14.000 Sober.

01:49:15.000 Clean as sober.

01:49:16.000 Sort of.

01:49:17.000 Kind of.

01:49:18.000 It's pretty funny.

01:49:19.000 You mentioned Whippets.

01:49:20.000 I put up a picture on my Instagram.

01:49:22.000 I saw that, yeah. 0.99

01:49:24.000 It's like, holy shit. 0.99

01:49:25.000 And a silencer and everything. 0.99

01:49:28.000 I used to love Nitrous.

01:49:29.000 We did Nitrous at my old job in between.

01:49:33.000 The job was bringing old people to their appointments. 0.99

01:49:36.000 And so we had a lot of time to burn if you dropped a lady off a dialysis. 1.00

01:49:39.000 So we went to Newberg and we bought...

01:49:42.000 I couldn't believe it was legal.

01:49:43.000 We just popped balloons.

01:49:46.000 Like you said, most people buy the little nitrous oxide tanks for making whipped cream and stuff like that.

01:49:51.000 But I get the, looks like helium tank size. 1.00

01:49:55.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:49:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:56.000 Is it even bad for you? 1.00

01:49:58.000 I don't think I've ever done it.

01:49:58.000 It feels brain.

01:49:59.000 Oh, it's great.

01:50:00.000 I love it.

01:50:01.000 I loved it.

01:50:01.000 Loved it.

01:50:02.000 Love it.

01:50:02.000 It makes you see demons.

01:50:03.000 Last time I've done it, I did it probably in 2020, maybe last year.

01:50:08.000 I wonder if it's technically bad.

01:50:12.000 Well, it's an anesthesia because it's medical grade and food grade.

01:50:15.000 Like, it's laughing gas.

01:50:16.000 That's what you give the dentist.

01:50:18.000 Right.

01:50:18.000 Nitrous oxide.

01:50:19.000 It's nitrous oxide.

01:50:20.000 It's the cramp song.

01:50:22.000 I mean, you could freeze your lungs.

01:50:23.000 You could burn your lungs.

01:50:24.000 There's ways to hurt yourself with it.

01:50:27.000 Short answer.

01:50:29.000 Oh, wait.

01:50:31.000 Short answer.

01:50:32.000 Although one or two whippets may not cause any damage, abusing them.

01:50:36.000 Yeah, yeah, I know. 1.00

01:50:37.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:50:38.000 I hate these kind of answers. 1.00

01:50:39.000 Is pot bad for you?

01:50:41.000 Smoking 30 joints an hour will give you lung cancer.

01:50:46.000 Yeah, I know.

01:50:47.000 I don't think I could fit 30 joints an hour into my body.

01:50:50.000 Bone marrow production.

01:50:53.000 What about doing whippets once a month for two hours? 0.99

01:50:58.000 No.

01:50:58.000 Is that bad?

01:50:59.000 Well, we used to buy 50, 60 inch balloons.

01:51:04.000 You sit there. 1.00

01:51:06.000 See a whole fucking room full of Hell's Angels all these fucking balloons. 1.00

01:51:10.000 How much is a 50-inch balloon? 1.00

01:51:13.000 Oh, we used to pay $10.

01:51:15.000 $10 a balloon.

01:51:16.000 Huh.

01:51:17.000 But you'd always have to have like a shitload in your pockets because, you know, they break, they pop, they explode.

01:51:23.000 People pop them.

01:51:24.000 People hit them with their cigarettes.

01:51:27.000 Don't want to be caught without a balloon.

01:51:29.000 I don't know.

01:51:30.000 I'd love to see how many drugs are actually bad in their own, totally legal, like cocaine.

01:51:36.000 Have you ever done uncut cocaine?

01:51:39.000 Well, I did cocaine in South America.

01:51:42.000 With like a rainbow sheen? 1.00

01:51:44.000 Yeah, like do a line, go to bed, do a line, fuck your girlfriend, do a line, eat a large breakfast. 1.00

01:51:51.000 Yeah, I was down in Brazil, and it was pretty, really good stuff. 1.00

01:51:55.000 So that makes you think, yeah, that's what it looks like.

01:51:58.000 That makes you think, is it even bad for you?

01:52:01.000 Maybe heroin isn't bad for you.

01:52:04.000 Actual pure heroin.

01:52:06.000 100% pure.

01:52:08.000 I don't know.

01:52:08.000 I've never done heroin.

01:52:12.000 I'm on her.

01:52:12.000 I've done plenty of coke.

01:52:14.000 I'm on heroin right now.

01:52:16.000 I've never done a show not on heroin.

01:52:18.000 It's true.

01:52:19.000 I didn't know that about you.

01:52:20.000 I'm surprised.

01:52:21.000 That's what this whole sound is.

01:52:22.000 You hide it well.

01:52:24.000 That's why I never show my inner elbows on this show.

01:52:28.000 You want to show your track marker.

01:52:28.000 That's why I got the tattoos to hide the track mark.

01:52:31.000 All right, let's do another call.

01:52:33.000 Here we go.

01:52:34.000 Okay.

01:52:36.000 This one, let's go, Brandon, the Coast Guard.

01:52:40.000 Hey, Gavin, Uuru.

01:52:42.000 Uhuru.

01:52:44.000 Hey, I wanted to hear your thoughts on the Coast Guard specifically, you know, out there on the high seas stopping guys smuggling cocaine up from South America like you're just talking about.

01:52:56.000 What do you mean?

01:52:57.000 Like, should they be doing that?

01:52:59.000 Yeah, like, what are your thoughts on them?

01:53:03.000 I don't know.

01:53:04.000 I've never been asked this question in my life.

01:53:06.000 How do I feel about the Coast Guard pursuing the drug war along Central American?

01:53:11.000 I don't think they should buy.

01:53:13.000 I just got a clip on YouTube called Coast Guard Narco Sub.

01:53:16.000 I think you'd be impressed. 0.98

01:53:17.000 Yeah, I support cops, and I understand they're doing their job, but I think drugs should be legal, and I think it's a waste of resources, and I don't like seeing my guys risking their lives fucking with these cartels.

01:53:30.000 7,000 people in America are doing cocaine right now.

01:53:34.000 So why are we fighting this?

01:53:38.000 And yes, I've seen this video 100 times, these guys that skulk along the coast.

01:53:42.000 And the guy jumps off and jumps.

01:53:43.000 He jumps on, but those submarines can't sink.

01:53:48.000 But I love the bravery of these guys doing the, you know, upholding the law, but I don't respect the law. 0.99

01:53:56.000 I think it's a dumb law. 0.98

01:53:58.000 Cocaine? 0.99

01:53:59.000 Cocaine's just, it's a vice.

01:54:02.000 It's probably as bad as booze.

01:54:06.000 I mean, my opinion on drugs is they should legal all of it, tax it, and distribute it.

01:54:11.000 I mean, it is legal.

01:54:12.000 Oxycontin is indistinguishable from heroin.

01:54:16.000 And it's legal. 1.00

01:54:17.000 Percocet, the lotta, fucking Vicodaine. 1.00

01:54:20.000 So why are these fuckers risking their lives enforcing these retarded drug law? 1.00

01:54:25.000 I think all drugs should be legalized. 0.99

01:54:28.000 Yeah, and I mean, these guys are U.S. military out there stopping the drugs.

01:54:31.000 So kind of a waste of resources.

01:54:33.000 Totally.

01:54:34.000 Absolutely.

01:54:35.000 Thanks for calling.

01:54:36.000 Kind of got the vibe that guy was trying to trip me up on some sort of hypocrisy.

01:54:42.000 You notice that in British pubs when you're in Britain, in London, someone's really friendly.

01:54:47.000 They're like, yeah, oh, yeah, you are.

01:54:49.000 Are you from America?

01:54:50.000 And you're originally Scottish, are you?

01:54:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:54:53.000 No, the Scots.

01:54:54.000 What a background.

01:54:55.000 I mean, the English fighting them.

01:54:58.000 I mean, the battles they had, like the Battle of Trafalgar.

01:55:01.000 I mean, it was amazing.

01:55:02.000 And you have to sort of be like, yeah, I'm not really familiar with it, but then you'll find out that the Scots murdered a bunch of English babies and blah, blah, blah. 0.96

01:55:13.000 He's trying to take the piss out of you. 1.00

01:55:14.000 Yeah, they're always fucking. 1.00

01:55:16.000 You got to be on your guard over there. 1.00

01:55:18.000 They love the devil's advocate shit. 1.00

01:55:21.000 Whereas in America, it's the opposite. 1.00

01:55:23.000 Everyone's like, hello. 0.99

01:55:24.000 Hi, I'm a rapist. 0.98

01:55:26.000 Oh, okay. 0.98

01:55:27.000 I mean, I assumed rape was bad, but I mean, maybe if it works for you, I mean, I don't know. 0.99

01:55:35.000 Are you a nice rapist? 1.00

01:55:37.000 Are you a good, like, do you rape prostitutes and porn stars? 1.00

01:55:40.000 Because they don't have the same rights. 1.00

01:55:43.000 They should be raped. 1.00

01:55:44.000 They're poor. 1.00

01:55:44.000 I mean, I don't know. 1.00

01:55:46.000 Maybe fuck for a living. 1.00

01:55:48.000 Were they wearing slutty outfits? 1.00

01:55:51.000 Maddie, what's your handle on Instagram? 1.00

01:55:53.000 I live evil.

01:55:56.000 Gotcha.

01:55:57.000 I'm trying to see if I can pull up that nice.

01:55:59.000 Oh, yeah, I love it.

01:56:01.000 There you go.

01:56:02.000 There we go.

01:56:05.000 Yeah, that was the last time I did it.

01:56:08.000 What's the buzz like?

01:56:10.000 It's very brief.

01:56:12.000 You know, it's fleeting.

01:56:14.000 But it gets to a point, because it is an anesthesia, you kind of have to get it to the point where you inhale enough that you start to, like, kind of not black out, but like you hear, like, a woman, woman, woman, woman, woman, womb.

01:56:29.000 Oh, yeah.

01:56:29.000 We used to do...

01:56:30.000 In high school, we would do Pam cooking spray.

01:56:33.000 Yeah, people do that with the...

01:56:35.000 And we would get the woah, whoa, whoa.

01:56:37.000 Woah, womp. 0.88

01:56:37.000 Pam. 0.88

01:56:38.000 We call it the helicopters landing.

01:56:39.000 What you doing?

01:56:39.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:56:41.000 But when there's loud music, like the music's always blasting the Hell's James Party.

01:56:45.000 And then everyone's just like, you just get into it and you get in the zone. 1.00

01:56:49.000 Yeah, we used to call it the stupids. 0.99

01:56:50.000 Yeah, you get this giant balloon, so you're not going up to get a little 10-inch balloon every 10 minutes. 1.00

01:56:57.000 So you get this big, giant balloon, you inhale it a couple times, and you enjoy the little rock shit. 0.93

01:57:03.000 So, I guess when we did Pam Cooking Spray, we were doing nitrous. 0.98

01:57:06.000 I guess, in a way.

01:57:07.000 It's probably one of the propellants in it.

01:57:10.000 Yeah, that's what makes it shoot out.

01:57:12.000 Right.

01:57:12.000 Like, if you went into the supermarket, you took a can of ready whip where you turn it upside and it goes.

01:57:18.000 Right.

01:57:18.000 Like, if you flip it upside down, you do it, and you just suck all the nitrous out of it and leave the cream in there.

01:57:23.000 And that's the same thing.

01:57:24.000 You get high than that.

01:57:25.000 That's why they sell them in those little cartridges because bakeries and restaurants and stuff, they put them in there and make whipped cream.

01:57:32.000 So you just buy that without the, and you don't put any cream or anything in the cartridge to whip, and you just inhale the gas.

01:57:39.000 Hmm.

01:57:40.000 I didn't know I was a whippet head in high school.

01:57:43.000 Yeah.

01:57:43.000 All right, we got one more call.

01:57:45.000 Okay.

01:57:46.000 Okay.

01:57:47.000 This guy's talking about Angelo.

01:57:49.000 His name is Angelo.

01:57:52.000 Hey, Angelo. 0.98

01:57:55.000 Yeah, Whippets are the unsung hero of shitty college parties. 1.00

01:58:01.000 Whippets of mass destruction. 0.99

01:58:02.000 They call it hippie crack.

01:58:04.000 Well, we used to do so many of them that we'd pass around a cracker in the dorm room there, and then when we'd turn up and we'd just be passing around, it looked like somebody had just a paintball war.

01:58:15.000 There's just shells of canister covering the floor.

01:58:18.000 The cracker.

01:58:20.000 Well, that almost killed Steve-O.

01:58:22.000 I mean, Steve-O would do whippets for 36 hours in a row until he was just drowning in an IKEA ballroom of Whippet containers.

01:58:34.000 That thing's a little much.

01:58:36.000 That might be a little much.

01:58:37.000 But we would go to sex shops in upstate New York and Buffalo, and they would sell those whipped cream canisters.

01:58:44.000 And the Whippets was, you just walk out with a cracker and three racks of nitrous containers. 0.98

01:58:55.000 I guess that guy's having a lot of sex with whipped cream there. 0.98

01:58:58.000 But I saw Maddie's face light up like a kid on Christmas when they were talking about whippets. 0.99

01:59:05.000 I remember I went to an after-party in New York City.

01:59:08.000 Thanks for calling.

01:59:08.000 I'm going to take to the clubhouse.

01:59:10.000 And it was a prominent member from the city's 25th anniversary coming up.

01:59:15.000 So he had about 15, now, when I say 15 tanks, I'm not talking about the little Whippet cartridge.

01:59:19.000 I'm talking about 200-pound cylinders, like helium tanks.

01:59:25.000 Jesus.

01:59:26.000 15 of them.

01:59:27.000 Me and a guy in six days went through all of them.

01:59:31.000 Just me and him.

01:59:33.000 Two guys, six days.

01:59:34.000 I mean, a couple people came in as we were partying throughout the week, and they were like, look in, they were like, you know, those are so-and-so's first party, right?

01:59:43.000 We're like, yeah.

01:59:44.000 I mean, we had to go buy all new ones for him.

01:59:46.000 But, oh, it was terrible.

01:59:48.000 But yeah, six days.

01:59:50.000 Me and the member at the time, I'm not going to say his name.

01:59:53.000 We stayed in the clubhouse from the time, from the after party that we had, went to.

01:59:58.000 I sent my girlfriend home in a cab with her girlfriend. 1.00

02:00:00.000 I said, I'll see you.

02:00:01.000 She came three times to come get me. 0.99

02:00:04.000 And I never left.

02:00:06.000 She left three times to come back. 0.93

02:00:08.000 Like, literally six days later, I was like, yo, someone's got to come get me.

02:00:11.000 This is making me want to do whippets. 1.00

02:00:13.000 Let's get some whippets for next live. 1.00

02:00:16.000 That's hilarious.

02:00:17.000 Whippet? 0.97

02:00:18.000 Are they legal?

02:00:19.000 Can you?

02:00:20.000 Yeah.

02:00:20.000 Okay, let's do some legal whippets then.

02:00:22.000 They're absolutely legal.

02:00:23.000 All right, folks, we're five minutes over.

02:00:26.000 I like you more than a friend.

02:00:27.000 No, that sounds insincere.

02:00:28.000 I do genuinely like you.

02:00:30.000 I think you guys are the few sane people in Clown World who are as discouraged as I am by what's going on around you.

02:00:39.000 And you've had enough.

02:00:41.000 And we've had enough.

02:00:42.000 And that's why we bond together every day, Monday to Friday, talking about the lunacy that surrounds us and wondering how to fix it.

02:00:52.000 We can fix it with activism, with what we talked about this week, without Karening the Karens. 0.98

02:00:57.000 That's it. 1.00

02:00:58.000 Let's fucking be more crazy than them. 1.00

02:01:01.000 That's what we do. 1.00

02:01:03.000 Anyway, have a good night.

02:01:04.000 I'll see you tomorrow.

02:01:06.000 Get fired. 0.93

02:01:07.000 Get in trouble.

02:01:08.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 22, 2021

GOML LIVE #120 - MAIL FOR MATTY

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