Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #121 - A SHORT SHOW (Part 1)


Summary

Matty O'Dell, Ryan Katsu Rivera, and Gavin McInnes talk about the joys of playing golf with friends, and why a kid cries on a plane. Also, Matty tries to figure out how to keep a cool frame in place for the new Tactical Wall behind him, and it doesn t go well. Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Tactical Walls, a veteran-owned company. Go to TacticalWalls.co/getoffmylawn and use promo code GAVIN20 for 20% off all orders! Go there, talk to the owner, Tactical Tim, and get 20% all orders all orders, including shipping, handling, and handling your own mail. If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what s going on in the world of podcasting and social media! Got a rebuke? Let us know what you thought of this episode, and we'll make it into next week's next episode! Thanks again for listening and supporting the show! -Gavin and Matty! Get off My Lawn! P.S. - Don't forget to rate and review the podcast! XOXOXOXO Subscribe to our new music and subscribe to our other podcast, "Off My Lawn" by clicking here. Subscribe on iTunes and review this episode on your favorite streaming platform! Leave us a review and tell us what you think of it! We'll be listening to it on Anchor.fm/Gavin's music and review it on Apple Music and other social media platforms! Thank you! xoxo, Gav & Matty's music is also on the pod? XO's music from this episode is on the air and we're listening to this episode of the podcast is on this podcast on your feed! This episode will be posted on the next episode of this podcast is . and we will be on all of our social media and other podcasts on the podcast on the intergalactic and other places on the podcast, too! Gave us your thoughts on this week's episode on the road? Thanks, Gave it a review on this episode Gav's music on this weeks episode of Gav and I hope you like it out there!


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:29.000 We're good to go.
00:00:58.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.
00:01:00.000 Whoa.
00:01:01.000 Ryan is on it.
00:01:02.000 Damn.
00:01:03.000 Bam!
00:01:04.000 You see that?
00:01:04.000 I tried to fake him out with the pause and he fucking nailed it.
00:01:07.000 Nailed it.
00:01:08.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
00:01:11.000 We have Matty O'Dell!
00:01:14.000 Matty O'Dell on the side speakers over here of course we have Ryan Katsu Rivera who by the way we we Matty and I got here early and Ryan did not sit with us.
00:01:29.000 That's correct.
00:01:31.000 Well, my only reason for that is because look at this cool new frame that we have.
00:01:37.000 Pre-roll Tactical Walls!
00:01:39.000 Tactical Walls!
00:01:41.000 This episode is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
00:01:42.000 It's veteran owned.
00:01:45.000 Go to...
00:01:46.000 www.tacticalwalls.com for the best products in America.
00:01:51.000 Tactical Walls promo code Gavin.
00:01:54.000 20% off all orders.
00:01:55.000 I don't know why we're not watching Tactical Walls behind me.
00:01:59.000 It is tacticalwalls.com.
00:02:02.000 Go there, talk to the owner, Tactical Tim.
00:02:05.000 He's available.
00:02:08.000 20% off all orders.
00:02:10.000 Ryan, why not bring up a Tactical Wall behind us?
00:02:14.000 Here it comes.
00:02:16.000 Here it comes.
00:02:17.000 Four minutes late.
00:02:21.000 It's still waiting.
00:02:22.000 This is shocking, dude.
00:02:24.000 There we go.
00:02:27.000 What?
00:02:27.000 Dude, what happened?
00:02:30.000 Why'd that take you an entire commercial?
00:02:34.000 There's a long reason for it.
00:02:36.000 Okay, let's hear it.
00:02:37.000 So, see this cool new frame?
00:02:41.000 Sort of.
00:02:42.000 Now when I do this, it switches to Matty.
00:02:45.000 And now it switches the frame back.
00:02:47.000 So I have to figure out a way how to keep this cool frame.
00:02:50.000 Wait, what's a frame?
00:02:51.000 What do you mean cool frame?
00:02:52.000 See this frame?
00:02:53.000 What do you mean this frame?
00:02:55.000 Look at the frame around the thing.
00:02:56.000 Oh, that sort of like weird fade?
00:02:59.000 Yeah, this is the autumn frame.
00:03:01.000 Okay.
00:03:03.000 I spent a lot of time on that.
00:03:04.000 Okay, total waste of time.
00:03:06.000 No one cares.
00:03:07.000 But again, go nuts.
00:03:10.000 So your stupid autumn frame.
00:03:13.000 Yes.
00:03:14.000 We can't see our sponsors promote their products.
00:03:18.000 It's a seasonal frame and I apologize to our sponsors and to make up for it.
00:03:22.000 Here we go.
00:03:22.000 Here's a lower third.
00:03:24.000 Okay.
00:03:24.000 You suck.
00:03:26.000 Um, so yeah, Matty, how you been?
00:03:31.000 I went golfing with our friends at our local today.
00:03:34.000 I was golfing all day.
00:03:37.000 Yep.
00:03:38.000 It went well.
00:03:40.000 We all suck shit.
00:03:42.000 We actually ran out of balls.
00:03:45.000 We had 30 balls.
00:03:46.000 They're all gone.
00:03:50.000 So Joel went to the clubhouse in the ninth hole and he spent $60 on 12 balls.
00:04:02.000 And they lasted the next... We barely made it to the 18th hole.
00:04:06.000 So that's $5 a ball, basically.
00:04:09.000 Toast.
00:04:11.000 It was unbelievable.
00:04:12.000 Probably cost more than a round of golf.
00:04:14.000 What a car wreck.
00:04:16.000 We're assholes.
00:04:18.000 Cheers.
00:04:20.000 Cheers.
00:04:23.000 Are you sad about it?
00:04:25.000 Scottish, of course he's sad.
00:04:26.000 It doesn't feel good when you suck at something.
00:04:28.000 The rest of the day kind of stinks.
00:04:31.000 No, I don't feel that way.
00:04:33.000 I think that if you suck and you play golf and you're with really good players, it's humility.
00:04:40.000 But if they also suck...
00:04:43.000 If you're the best and you suck?
00:04:45.000 Yeah.
00:04:46.000 It's sort of like a kid crying on a plane.
00:04:49.000 If a kid cries on the plane, you're like, thank God that's not my kid.
00:04:54.000 I'm good.
00:04:55.000 Now I will say, I was actually thinking about this today as we play golf.
00:05:00.000 Um, I do get really mad when kids cry in church.
00:05:06.000 Get them out of there.
00:05:07.000 That's, it's not working.
00:05:09.000 They're not listening.
00:05:09.000 They're a baby.
00:05:11.000 Get them out of here.
00:05:13.000 But the thing about a church and a plane is you can't leave a plane, you die.
00:05:17.000 Right.
00:05:18.000 You fall to your death.
00:05:20.000 So we're all together on the plane.
00:05:22.000 So let's go, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:05:27.000 Let's try to calm the baby down.
00:05:30.000 Get him out of here!
00:05:31.000 Get out!
00:05:33.000 That's exactly how I feel.
00:05:35.000 I've actually heard of old school Brooklyn churches where the priest yells at the kid.
00:05:44.000 What are we doing here?
00:05:45.000 Why is this kid screaming her head off?
00:05:49.000 What's going on over here?
00:05:51.000 That sounds great.
00:05:54.000 Never experienced it.
00:05:55.000 Did you go to church as a kid?
00:05:56.000 Yeah.
00:05:57.000 I went to CCD, religiously confirmed.
00:06:01.000 Was baptized.
00:06:03.000 Did my first Holy Communion.
00:06:04.000 Did a confirmation.
00:06:06.000 Did you go to church every day as a kid?
00:06:09.000 No, not every day.
00:06:09.000 Every Sunday.
00:06:10.000 Every Sunday.
00:06:11.000 9 o'clock Mass, yeah.
00:06:13.000 Blessed Sacrament.
00:06:15.000 Blessed Sacrament.
00:06:17.000 Why did your mother, out of all the places in the world, choose New Rochelle?
00:06:23.000 That's where the family who sponsored her for her green card came.
00:06:27.000 That's where they lived.
00:06:28.000 Oh, she was an au pair?
00:06:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:30.000 She came over as an au pair.
00:06:31.000 At what age?
00:06:33.000 Oh, wow.
00:06:34.000 Yeah.
00:06:34.000 She's probably hot.
00:06:37.000 She finished, like back then, high school, like in 10th grade, 16 or something.
00:06:43.000 She's probably a sexy teen.
00:06:45.000 So she signed off and she went to work for the Lance family.
00:06:48.000 They owned a big company called Defender Marine Supplies.
00:06:52.000 I met an old dude at the Legion in the local township and he said your mother had very salty language.
00:07:01.000 My oof, yes.
00:07:04.000 Like a truck driver.
00:07:06.000 That pisses me off.
00:07:08.000 That makes me think less of you, Maddie.
00:07:10.000 Oh.
00:07:10.000 That your mother swore.
00:07:11.000 She was a strict disciplinarian.
00:07:14.000 I tend not to fraternize with men whose mothers swore.
00:07:19.000 That's true.
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00:07:44.000 Check out BeardVet and tell them Gavin sent you.
00:07:46.000 We have a whole box of BeardVet shit by the door.
00:07:50.000 Why don't you go grab it?
00:07:54.000 Sean, the owner of BeardVet is one of us.
00:07:56.000 He's a good egg.
00:07:57.000 We like him more than a friend.
00:07:58.000 Like most of our sponsors, BeardVet is a veteran owned and operated company.
00:08:02.000 We support them.
00:08:03.000 They support us.
00:08:04.000 BeardVet.com promo code GAVIN.
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00:08:12.000 And by the way, you may have noticed I'm wearing one of our
00:08:15.000 Most popular Biden shirts when Trump does follow through or doesn't would follow through the exact opposite.
00:08:26.000 Retard, you don't have to open it.
00:08:28.000 Just bring me the box.
00:08:30.000 Stop.
00:08:31.000 Brian, stop.
00:08:43.000 This is a BeardVet box.
00:08:45.000 What do we got here?
00:08:46.000 We have... The coffee!
00:08:50.000 The excellence!
00:08:52.000 We have endless excellence from BeardVet.
00:08:56.000 Look at this shit.
00:08:57.000 One, two, three levels of excellence.
00:09:01.000 Then we have some sort of pouch thing.
00:09:05.000 If this was a bomb, by the way, this would be a great way to die.
00:09:10.000 Uh...
00:09:11.000 Look at that.
00:09:11.000 It's a beard brush.
00:09:12.000 Beard brush.
00:09:14.000 Beard grooming materials.
00:09:18.000 There seems to be some sort of beard oil.
00:09:21.000 Tobacco and patch.
00:09:24.000 Shouldn't we just send everyone into the military?
00:09:26.000 Look at when they come out, they're so disciplined.
00:09:32.000 And we're gonna do, for them, an awesome commercial song.
00:09:45.000 I was expecting rock and roll.
00:09:46.000 I was going to be like, fucking beard vet coffee, you can put it on your face, you can put it in your cup and drink it too.
00:09:55.000 Wait, what?
00:09:56.000 I was going to say, you were guessing that a magical song would just appear?
00:10:01.000 Yeah.
00:10:01.000 Beard vet, you can put it in your coffee.
00:10:06.000 That's free.
00:10:18.000 Hey now!
00:10:19.000 All right, we have 15 minutes left before we go behind the paywall.
00:10:24.000 My computer's, I guess, in the other room.
00:10:27.000 Ryan, why don't you explain to Matty everything you hate about him, and why?
00:10:31.000 Okay, well, first of all, Matty, I have no hatred towards you.
00:10:35.000 Okay.
00:10:38.000 That's about that.
00:10:42.000 Get it out in the open.
00:10:43.000 I don't have any harsh feelings towards the man at all.
00:10:47.000 Delve deep.
00:10:47.000 There's no deepness to the way I feel about you.
00:10:50.000 It's very nice to know you.
00:10:56.000 It's pleasant.
00:10:58.000 Always full of laughs.
00:10:59.000 You helped me out with Taco Bell the other day.
00:11:01.000 Hey, for whom the Taco Bell tolls.
00:11:08.000 There is an update with that.
00:11:10.000 So a friend of the show did something very nice.
00:11:15.000 Okay.
00:11:16.000 And they set up a GoFundMe for my tacos.
00:11:19.000 Nice!
00:11:20.000 Brian Bailey.
00:11:22.000 Great guy.
00:11:24.000 And here it is.
00:11:26.000 And I think it's going to beat the Joe Car Fund.
00:11:28.000 The Joe Car Fund is up to $400.
00:11:30.000 Whoa!
00:11:30.000 Is it?
00:11:31.000 This is up to $145 for my tacos.
00:11:32.000 Wait a minute.
00:11:37.000 He's got 100.
00:11:38.000 Joe's car is 400?
00:11:41.000 Yep.
00:11:42.000 Holy shit.
00:11:43.000 350, about that.
00:11:45.000 I can't believe that.
00:11:47.000 It's ridiculous.
00:11:49.000 Holy shit!
00:11:49.000 So just to be clear, folks at home who are not understanding what happened here, we discovered last week, 24 hours times 7 ago, that Ryan's not allowed to go to Taco Bell.
00:12:04.000 His wife does not let him go there.
00:12:06.000 That's not true.
00:12:07.000 So he tried to surreptitiously circumvent $10 from Matty O'Dell, wherein he would use that money to go and get a burrito box.
00:12:19.000 Which is five dollars.
00:12:22.000 Right.
00:12:23.000 We made fun of him.
00:12:24.000 He absolved himself of that situation, but he did not.
00:12:29.000 And he skulked away to Taco Bell in the South Bronx, several blocks away.
00:12:36.000 And then, coincidentally, Matty O'Dell was in the same vicinity because I guess he wanted, I don't know, what did you want?
00:12:45.000 A Chalupa?
00:12:46.000 I just wanted to go see Ryan.
00:12:48.000 You did?
00:12:49.000 So he goes into the parking lot in the South Bronx and he sees Ryan scarfing his face and uh... They call me Scarface.
00:12:59.000 He goes, what are you doing dude?
00:13:01.000 And he's like... Hello, I would like to clear my name.
00:13:07.000 I never told Ryan he can't have fast food.
00:13:09.000 I told him don't spend money on dumb shit.
00:13:13.000 I'm pretty sure food does not qualify.
00:13:15.000 I was talking about not buying more ugly pullovers.
00:13:20.000 Wait, that's a very British term, isn't it?
00:13:23.000 Entrainers.
00:13:24.000 And impulse buying from Instagram ads.
00:13:27.000 I never said no Taco Bell, and I have no clue where he got that idea from.
00:13:32.000 That is all from Ryan's wife.
00:13:34.000 Okay, this lying woman.
00:13:37.000 This is actually more embarrassing, dude.
00:13:39.000 No, she's a liar.
00:13:41.000 I should have never read that.
00:13:42.000 Okay, let's do both, because they're all equally embarrassing.
00:13:45.000 So, did she or did she not tell you, you can't eat at Taco Bell?
00:13:51.000 She said, if we have food at home, I was like, it's a couple bucks.
00:13:55.000 And she says, this has happened in the past for sure.
00:13:58.000 She's been like, we have food at home, don't waste money.
00:14:01.000 I'm like, it's fucking $2.
00:14:02.000 So that was a conversation that has been had in the past for sure.
00:14:06.000 Maybe it was a couple weeks ago, maybe she feels that we're high on the hog now, but
00:14:10.000 I knew that it would cause issues.
00:14:12.000 Call me old-fashioned but eating goes by times.
00:14:16.000 Like if I was with my wife and I went by Taco Bell I go I want to get something and she go well it's 4 p.m.
00:14:24.000 we're eating at 530 don't do that but if it was like
00:14:29.000 1150 a.m.
00:14:32.000 And I went, I want to go get something in the Taco Bell drive-thru.
00:14:36.000 She go, well, we're not having dinner until 6 p.m.
00:14:39.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:14:41.000 You couldn't eat out of fucking homeless prostitute.
00:14:46.000 Why would I care what you eat?
00:14:48.000 Why would she give you permission to do that?
00:14:50.000 That's gross.
00:14:50.000 I eat five times a day or try to.
00:14:52.000 So take what I just said and
00:14:55.000 As a vessel and tell me what you violated of the vessel in your past.
00:15:02.000 In the past I think we were a little tight on cash and maybe I was thinking of those times and that factored into deciding to talk about it.
00:15:13.000 I didn't say that.
00:15:14.000 I said tell me about a scenario wherein you violated your wife's trust by eating something.
00:15:25.000 Okay, for instance, the other day, right?
00:15:28.000 We have dinner, made, but I want some sides because we're having leftovers.
00:15:32.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:15:33.000 What, what, what are we talking about?
00:15:35.000 The other night we were having leftovers.
00:15:37.000 No, it's got to be before this incident.
00:15:40.000 This was after the incident, which is worse.
00:15:43.000 Showing that this is not some old thing.
00:15:46.000 This is still new shit.
00:15:48.000 So, we have leftovers and I say I want to spice it up to let's get some greens or something.
00:15:52.000 I'll go to Popeye's and we'll get like a side from Popeye's.
00:15:56.000 Wait, you'll go to Popeye's exclusively for sides?
00:15:59.000 For a side.
00:16:00.000 I thought they had collard greens or something fun.
00:16:03.000 Like we need some greens.
00:16:05.000 Otherwise I have to drink my green shake.
00:16:07.000 So wait, now you're going to Popeye's just for sides?
00:16:10.000 Just to spice up the leftovers.
00:16:13.000 Because there's nothing fun about leftovers.
00:16:15.000 You can't go to a place and just get sides.
00:16:18.000 Sides are literally named after the word sides.
00:16:23.000 But we had a main.
00:16:25.000 What was your main?
00:16:27.000 It might have been...
00:16:29.000 Pesto?
00:16:30.000 No, that was last night.
00:16:31.000 It was something chicken-y.
00:16:33.000 Yeah.
00:16:34.000 Okay, so my point is that Popeyes created sides to go with your main course.
00:16:40.000 You don't go to Popeyes for sides.
00:16:43.000 It's pretty close by.
00:16:44.000 And so I wound up getting Rao's soup from the supermarket instead.
00:16:51.000 Oh, you know what it was?
00:16:53.000 It was, um, uh, uh, it was latkes.
00:16:59.000 I made little latkes, potato pancakes.
00:17:02.000 And then the main was, I forgot, actually.
00:17:07.000 I was like, okay, latkes and I forgot.
00:17:14.000 I feel like if I shot you, no judge in the county would persecute me.
00:17:20.000 I don't think that's true.
00:17:21.000 I think I could murder you and be above the law.
00:17:25.000 I don't think that's true at all.
00:17:27.000 And what kind of rayo soup did you get?
00:17:29.000 Minestrone.
00:17:30.000 Oh.
00:17:31.000 No pasta faggio?
00:17:32.000 It's like strone but smaller.
00:17:33.000 That's not funny.
00:17:35.000 Okay.
00:17:36.000 All right, last
00:17:39.000 Sponsor, we're down to the wire here.
00:17:42.000 Bubba and Hanks, www.bubbandhanks.com.
00:17:46.000 Promo code Gavin.
00:17:48.000 20% off.
00:17:49.000 Actually, 50% off.
00:17:50.000 What?
00:17:51.000 Yeah, we went down.
00:17:52.000 What?
00:17:53.000 I decided 20% off was too much.
00:17:55.000 Damn.
00:17:56.000 Bubba is battling cancer.
00:18:00.000 He's not doing well.
00:18:02.000 So, um, why don't you support this show and our sponsors and one of our sponsors who's dying of cancer.
00:18:13.000 Who's going to survive of cancer?
00:18:14.000 Stick in there, bub.
00:18:15.000 Stay strong.
00:18:16.000 Let's show our love and support to those who support us.
00:18:19.000 That is BubbaAndHanks.com promo code Gavin.
00:18:26.000 Alright, so, um, I'd like to get a couple of letters in before we go behind the paywall.
00:18:32.000 Let's, um, do the fuckin', um, Mailbag song.
00:18:39.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:18:44.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:18:49.000 Let me touch it.
00:18:54.000 Okay.
00:18:55.000 You ready?
00:18:55.000 Yes.
00:18:58.000 Gavin being shit-faced.
00:19:03.000 That's mean.
00:19:05.000 It's like, no.
00:19:07.000 Life's hard.
00:19:07.000 Please clean up, Gavin, or you'll end up in a bloody coma like me in Bulgaria.
00:19:13.000 It's like, no.
00:19:14.000 Life's hard.
00:19:16.000 Please clean up, Gavin, or you'll end up in a bloody coma.
00:19:20.000 Wait, we have Jordan Peterson on the line.
00:19:23.000 Jordan Peterson is in the studio.
00:19:25.000 That's right.
00:19:27.000 Jordan, are you there?
00:19:28.000 Yep.
00:19:30.000 Can I see you?
00:19:31.000 I'm trying to get Ryan to figure out the damn video.
00:19:35.000 The bloody video?
00:19:37.000 But he's not... You know what I think?
00:19:40.000 I think that Jordan Peterson stole Clean Your Room from me.
00:19:46.000 How do you mean?
00:19:47.000 And I stole it from a dude named Kennedy who has a self-help book that I worked on with him.
00:19:52.000 I edited it.
00:19:56.000 Yeah, I think Jordan Peterson stole Clean Your Room from me.
00:20:00.000 You stole Clean Your Room from me.
00:20:03.000 I'm sorry.
00:20:07.000 Where are you?
00:20:09.000 I don't have him on the ready.
00:20:11.000 Okay.
00:20:13.000 Did you guys start late tonight or am I a wheat wad?
00:20:16.000 Anyway, I'm a coffee slut.
00:20:18.000 I just ordered a Beard Vet Excellence whole bean coffee from Amazon.
00:20:22.000 Whatever.
00:20:22.000 You rock.
00:20:23.000 That's a nice guy.
00:20:25.000 There you go.
00:20:26.000 There we go, that's what we're going for.
00:20:30.000 Dear Retard and Ryan, not sure if you guys are aware, but the dyke lady with the cigar in one of the drops, I mean the dab, was not only Affirmative Action hire, but literally took the place of the man in the original movie.
00:20:44.000 Yes, I'm sick of people telling us about shit that we've mentioned on the show.
00:20:52.000 Yes, the douchebag, what's his name, Elijah Malabad, was replaced by Tig Notaro in this movie, Army of the Dead.
00:21:03.000 Holy shit.
00:21:08.000 And he was in trouble for wanting to fuck teenagers, which is horrible, by the way, horrible.
00:21:14.000 But we hate him because he has a whole diatribe about how white some dude was at the gym.
00:21:21.000 Some big white guy.
00:21:23.000 Apparently they shot the entire movie with Chris D'Elia, but soon after he was accused of this text message shit, so they removed him entirely from the movie and put the dyke bitch in charge.
00:21:35.000 Yeah, we know, dude.
00:21:39.000 I demand you watch the first two minutes of this on your show.
00:21:42.000 Watch the whole thing, especially after nine minutes.
00:21:46.000 His rap is so funny.
00:21:47.000 I bet it sucks.
00:21:50.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:21:52.000 Yes.
00:21:53.000 You know, it's weird.
00:21:53.000 I got that letter twice with different emails.
00:21:58.000 Huh.
00:21:59.000 I was hooking up with this chick.
00:22:01.000 One day she was on the phone with her family in Jamaica and she was really in the middle of a heated conversation.
00:22:07.000 I really had no idea what the fuck she was saying.
00:22:11.000 And her friend said, I'm like, wow.
00:22:16.000 Wow.
00:22:17.000 So wait, break that down.
00:22:19.000 So she, and so then I just started, she started breaking down a lot of shit.
00:22:21.000 I'm like, how do you say this?
00:22:24.000 How do you say that?
00:22:25.000 Oh, like seven.
00:22:26.000 Oh,
00:22:27.000 She was just telling me how to say different shit so I got for like a week like I was really on a Jamaican tip and that just happened to be the week of the Golden Globes.
00:22:36.000 I turned my phone on and the video had gone totally viral.
00:22:51.000 Yeah, that's Chet, you guys.
00:22:54.000 I am shook, and frankly, hella confused.
00:22:59.000 Isn't it funny that she's mad at him for appropriating black culture, and then she says hella confused?
00:23:07.000 Yeah.
00:23:08.000 I had Jamaicans blowing up my Instagram.
00:23:10.000 Respect General!
00:23:12.000 Come to the island!
00:23:13.000 You know what I mean?
00:23:14.000 The Jamaican people showed me... Yeah, yeah, we know, we know, we know.
00:23:19.000 Ancient news, dude.
00:23:20.000 Thanks for telling us about Chad Atkins, um, being interviewed by that random dude from, uh, Channel 5.
00:23:28.000 Um... This was, uh, this is a production from this dude.
00:23:32.000 Uh, you have his shirt.
00:23:34.000 I know, we don't like him anymore, man.
00:23:35.000 Oh, yeah.
00:23:36.000 He's a sellout.
00:23:41.000 What was that?
00:23:43.000 It's a shot glass.
00:23:45.000 It broke.
00:23:46.000 Yeah.
00:23:47.000 How do you not know that this guy's with the dark side?
00:23:53.000 I didn't know he was with the dark side.
00:23:55.000 Dude, Tim Heidecker bought, uh, whatever that original thing was called.
00:24:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:24:05.000 You didn't know that?
00:24:07.000 Pedal to the metal or something?
00:24:10.000 Yeah.
00:24:17.000 Well, now I know.
00:24:18.000 How'd you not know that?
00:24:19.000 Because I'm indifferent towards our enemies.
00:24:23.000 You're not.
00:24:23.000 You fucking have to know who they are!
00:24:26.000 You have to know our enemies!
00:24:28.000 Oops.
00:24:29.000 You have to know what they do!
00:24:32.000 You have to know what they're about!
00:24:34.000 I caught that one, but you've knocked over some things.
00:24:39.000 How do you not know about our fucking enemies?
00:24:43.000 How could you not know about Tim Heidecker and fucking Vic Berger?
00:24:55.000 God damn it.
00:24:56.000 So anyway, Channel 5 is dead.
00:25:00.000 Sorry.
00:25:00.000 Channel 5 is dead to us.
00:25:03.000 Here's a letter from a guy named Aaron.
00:25:05.000 Pulp Fiction.
00:25:07.000 Face Swap.
00:25:08.000 I got a kick out of this and thought you guys might like it as well.
00:25:11.000 I don't like it.
00:25:12.000 It's boring and stupid.
00:25:14.000 I was disappointed to see how old I looked.
00:25:18.000 Um, this is from 5.46pm, Ryan?
00:25:21.000 There you go.
00:25:23.000 I'm black.
00:25:25.000 What do you think of yourself as a black?
00:25:27.000 That doesn't look too different.
00:25:30.000 Which is upsetting.
00:25:31.000 Except for the jerry curls.
00:25:32.000 The jerry curls, yes.
00:25:33.000 I look so old.
00:25:37.000 You know, you look an old man.
00:25:42.000 It's from Dakota.
00:25:43.000 What's up Gavin Rye guy?
00:25:45.000 You guys got to check out this trailer as soon as I saw it.
00:25:47.000 It reminded me of one of Brian Stetler's wife's pussy.
00:25:53.000 Good for a laugh.
00:25:55.000 Okay, let's see this trailer.
00:25:57.000 Candy ass.
00:25:58.000 That sounds familiar.
00:26:00.000 We may have actually covered this on the show.
00:26:03.000 Do you like my shirt?
00:26:07.000 When Trump does follow through, or doesn't do follow through, or the exact opposite.
00:26:15.000 Joe Biden.
00:26:22.000 Uh oh.
00:26:25.000 Uh oh.
00:26:26.000 I gotta piss.
00:26:28.000 Rumor has it, if you say his name in a mirror five times, he appears.
00:26:33.000 Yeah, you say his name five times in the mirror, he comes out and kills you.
00:26:36.000 One, two, three, four, four.
00:26:43.000 Candy ass.
00:26:49.000 Wait, hold on a second.
00:26:51.000 Aren't you just that fat balding guy on CNN?
00:26:54.000 Yes, it is I, heterosexual news anchor Brian Stelzer.
00:26:59.000 Who can take an agenda, cover it in news, sprinkle it with lies and some misinformation to the candy ass.
00:27:11.000 The candy ass can.
00:27:13.000 Oh god, no.
00:27:15.000 I like girls.
00:27:18.000 Some believed it was just a fairy tale.
00:27:22.000 But they were wrong.
00:27:23.000 Candy ass.
00:27:29.000 What's so ooh about it?
00:27:31.000 You're next, twinkle toes.
00:27:34.000 No one is safe.
00:27:37.000 Candy ass.
00:27:39.000 Ooh, this one's for you.
00:27:42.000 Oh.
00:27:42.000 I don't come for girls.
00:27:46.000 Only women are safe.
00:27:49.000 You don't have a brother, do you?
00:27:56.000 Candy ass.
00:27:58.000 Coming soon.
00:28:00.000 Unless you're female.
00:28:07.000 Absolute shocking garbage.
00:28:11.000 You could see the wrinkle of his fucking bathing cap.
00:28:17.000 Next email, Ryan needs to work on his Brian Stelter.
00:28:24.000 And someone sent a picture of Island Boy calls Spectrum Customer Service.
00:28:32.000 Which for some reason Ryan's taking an hour to pull up.
00:28:36.000 I've already watched it and closed it.
00:28:39.000 Thank you for calling Spectrum Customer Service.
00:28:41.000 How can I help you?
00:28:41.000 I'm an island boy.
00:28:45.000 I'm sorry, sir.
00:28:46.000 I cannot understand you.
00:28:47.000 Can you repeat that, please?
00:28:51.000 Is this a problem with your phone or internet?
00:28:53.000 I'm very sorry, sir.
00:28:56.000 I cannot understand a word.
00:28:58.000 Try unplugging the motor.
00:29:03.000 Thank you for calling Spectrum Customer Service.
00:29:05.000 Sprinkles, they ask.
00:29:07.000 Personally I say no.
00:29:08.000 No.
00:29:09.000 No sprinkles.
00:29:10.000 Okay folks we're going behind the paywall now.
00:29:13.000 We are going to take calls and enjoy ourselves with our community who pays their bills.
00:29:20.000 Unlike you!
00:29:22.000 Who are watching the show for free.
00:29:27.000 I highly recommend you spend $10 a month watching censored.tv.
00:29:31.000 It takes up more time than you have to dispose looking at this clown world and it's an angle on clown world that is funny and irreverent and
00:29:46.000 Where you feel it's it's basically you watching the news with yourself because that's how we feel about this shit.
00:29:54.000 We're normal human beings who think that we are living in a clown world and everything is upside down.
00:30:01.000 So when you watch us watch the news you go oh good thank god I'm not insane.
00:30:09.000 So yeah, we're going to take some calls and talk about what I just discussed.
00:30:14.000 But for you cheapskates who don't subscribe to Censor.TV, you cannot indulge in these calls.
00:30:20.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting.
00:30:39.000 My wife was in a strip club.