Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 12, 2021


GOML LIVE #122

Topics
tactical walls
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan John Steve Snuggles Justin Trudeau Marty Golden Matt Walsh Sean Paul Joe Biden Beetlejuice Show Gavin McTinnis Howard Stern Matty O'Dell Jane Fonda Sergei Resin Tyler Oprah Dude Ruth Bader Ginsburg and 25 more
S04E52 - FREE KYLE! S04E54 - MULTIPLE NAKED DUDES

Episode Stats


Length

44 minutes

Words per minute

165.45

Word count

7,288

Sentence count

789

Harmful content

Misogyny

47

sentences flagged

Toxicity

200

sentences flagged

Hate speech

49

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Big Freedia, Sean Paul, and Beetlejuice join host Gavin McInnis in studio to talk about their new hit song, "I Got a Heart." They also talk about Ryan's new tuxedo, and what it's like to be in a quarantine in Hong Kong. Also, a new segment called "Need of Fashions" is introduced, featuring a new sponsor, Iron and Resin. And, of course, there's a surprise guest appearance from Ryan's ex-boyfriend, Matty, who's not here in studio this week. You won't want to miss it! Get Off My Lawn is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New Artist/Song influenced by Big Freedia: "I've Got A Heart" by Sean Paul & Sean Paul Join. Movement. Subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also consider leaving us a five star rating and a review on iTunes. We'll be looking out for the best spots on the next episode of the show! Thank you for listening and supporting! - The Nodcast! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by Ian Dorsch. Art Credit by Jeff Kaale. The theme of this episode was done by Skynyrd and the rest of the music used in the song was written and produced by Bobby Lord. We did not edit this piece was not in any other way possible and the music was provided by any other credit given to be credited by the original poster or any other person else was credited by a third person in this image was given credit in this episode). We are not required to provide such credit anywhere else is credited anywhere else other than this episode is credited or credit is given credit is credited in this podcast was given to a person else's credit or such is received by the credit given or received by a person's right of expression or such or such was a credit given at a person s right of accession or such quotation or such expression was given in this person's value or such representation was given or such value is received or such such representation is received in a person is represented or such being given in any such representation or such association is said or such person is said in such expression is represented in such or a person being represented at such and such is a person was given at such or being a representation is said at a reference or such occasion or such will be given in such being a person or such a person received in such person being given such a consideration or such thing is said, etc. etc.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:32.000 Last time on There Ain't No Stress and it's Sean Paul alongside Big Freedia!
00:00:36.000 Snoop Dogg.
00:00:37.000 Beetlejuice Show.
00:00:38.000 Oh yeah, I can do a doggy style.
00:00:40.000 He's no problem with that.
00:00:42.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McTinnis.
00:00:49.000 Yeah.
00:01:01.000 Oh yeah!
00:01:02.000 Oh yeah!
00:01:13.000 Hello folks, welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
00:01:15.000 That was Big Freedia, a trans entertainer who does that New Orleans stuff. 0.87
00:01:21.000 I forget what that type of music is called.
00:01:23.000 And of course the dance hall great, Sean Paul from Jamaica, Sean Paul.
00:01:29.000 And Beetlejuice, a man with cranial dysplasia who is a pinhead and is a member of Howard Stern's Whack Pack.
00:01:37.000 I'm impressed that they put that song together with massive celebrities and a severely handicapped man. 0.99
00:01:45.000 Like Howard Stern sucks now, but at least his staff is able to pull shit together. 0.99
00:01:50.000 I think that's only a few months old. 0.99
00:01:51.000 I just heard it in the car on the way here.
00:01:56.000 This is the free portion of the show.
00:01:59.000 We have sponsors to pay for it and then we go behind the paywall about half an hour in.
00:02:04.000 For those of you watching, I'm debuting my new look.
00:02:09.000 Isn't that exciting, Ryan?
00:02:11.000 It is.
00:02:12.000 I should announce, Matty is not here.
00:02:13.000 He's at a doctor's appointment.
00:02:15.000 The man has the heart of a... Metaphorically, he's got the heart of someone with a big heart.
00:02:22.000 But literally, he has the heart of a 120-year-old man.
00:02:25.000 He has a defibrillator and a heart monitor on his heart.
00:02:30.000 So, we're lucky to have him at all, but we don't have him tonight.
00:02:36.000 Yeah, I had an idea for a look in my head, and I've pursued it, and here it is.
00:02:44.000 Iron and Resin.
00:02:45.000 Now, we're gonna get to our first sponsor in a sec, Nita Fashions, and when you wear a suit, you should wear Nita Fashions.
00:02:52.000 I was thinking the other day, we should've partnered with them, because we're about 70% of their clientele these days.
00:03:00.000 It was amazing.
00:03:01.000 We kept them alive during the pandemic.
00:03:03.000 That's how, that's how fruitful it is to be a sponsor on this show.
00:03:07.000 So let's make this a Need of Fashions commercial while we plug a different company. 1.00
00:03:11.000 True.
00:03:13.000 Uh, we were just there.
00:03:15.000 We, uh, Ryan got all suited up.
00:03:17.000 They have his measurements now.
00:03:18.000 And now you just sort of phone it in.
00:03:20.000 You're like, Hey man, I want a tuxedo.
00:03:22.000 Bye. 0.99
00:03:23.000 And they have all your shit there and it just arrives from Hong Kong via FedEx. 0.99
00:03:27.000 I know we should support American business, but... 0.99
00:03:30.000 A brand new tailored suit in America is like five grand, and the tailors are getting worse on a daily basis.
00:03:38.000 It's a dead trade.
00:03:40.000 It's barely alive in Hong Kong, but at least it still exists.
00:03:43.000 So, sorry America, you priced me out of the market.
00:03:48.000 But they show up, they go on these tours of the states.
00:03:51.000 Those are back now, but you can still do it via Zoom.
00:03:54.000 You can do it either way.
00:03:56.000 Hong Kong is so draconian with COVID that after they're done this tour, the one that we just met them on where we got all measured up, I look terrible in that picture. 0.82
00:04:05.000 And my suit looks like shit because I folded it wrong. 1.00
00:04:09.000 They're stuck in a hotel in Hong Kong for, guess the quarantine, Ryan, and show your stupid face. 1.00
00:04:16.000 14 days. 1.00
00:04:17.000 Three weeks, 21 days.
00:04:22.000 In an expensive hotel. 1.00
00:04:24.000 They can't leave their fucking room! 1.00
00:04:27.000 What? 1.00
00:04:28.000 Like, Hong Kong is China, but it's also not China, but it is China.
00:04:31.000 This sounds pretty China.
00:04:34.000 They have to get room service.
00:04:36.000 It's an expensive place.
00:04:38.000 And the food arrives at their door.
00:04:40.000 Knock, knock, knock, and they run away.
00:04:44.000 He's stuck with his two sons for three weeks.
00:04:47.000 That's weird.
00:04:49.000 Anyway, they're going to be killing the time with Zoom calls.
00:04:52.000 So you can get all sized up and get your cool suits.
00:04:55.000 He was showing me the Instagram and he's like, that's a fan.
00:04:59.000 That's a Gavin fan.
00:05:00.000 That's a Gavin fan.
00:05:01.000 That's a Gavin fan.
00:05:03.000 And I said, why do you have an Indian accent?
00:05:08.000 He's born and raised in Hong Kong, they speak perfect Mandarin, perfect Cantonese, and they have Indian accents.
00:05:15.000 And he goes, I don't have an Indian accent.
00:05:17.000 I go, okay buddy.
00:05:19.000 And then I asked his dad, and his dad seemed a little taken aback, but he goes, us Indians stick together.
00:05:25.000 Isn't that weird?
00:05:27.000 Like imagine you were born, actually I've seen that in New York City with Chinese.
00:05:27.000 It is.
00:05:32.000 They'll go to Chinese schools and their English has a Chinese accent.
00:05:38.000 Even though they're born and raised in New York.
00:05:39.000 That's why they smashed a subscribe and they have a lot of shoes that are pure fire.
00:05:44.000 Wait, did you ever see this guy?
00:05:51.000 Singaporean white boy.
00:05:53.000 Who can speak winglish, white boy singlish. 0.70
00:05:56.000 So Tyler, how long have you lived in Singapore?
00:05:58.000 Singapore, 9 years already.
00:05:59.000 9 years?
00:06:00.000 And then before that?
00:06:01.000 2 years in China, then some more, got 5 years in the States.
00:06:07.000 Why is it racist?
00:06:07.000 I don't like this.
00:06:10.000 I think it's funny that I'm having this emotion, but I feel like I've been violated.
00:06:15.000 Can you speak Mandarin?
00:06:16.000 So Tyler, if you ever go to a hawker centre, I'm sure you speak- A hawker?
00:06:35.000 Hooker Center?
00:06:36.000 It's called a brothel, sir. 1.00
00:06:38.000 When you go to a brothel, do you speak Chinese?
00:06:46.000 He has Chinese mannerisms. 0.85
00:06:49.000 It's like when you see these white Muslims in New Zealand and England and you're like, you chose a culture that oppresses you more? 0.88
00:06:59.000 What?
00:07:01.000 So yeah, please go to Anita Fashions and mention my name, mention the show and you get 15% off.
00:07:08.000 NitaFashions.
00:07:09.000 NitaFashions.com.
00:07:10.000 You can contact them through their Instagram.
00:07:12.000 Seems to be the most popular way with you, young people.
00:07:14.000 Anyway, let's get back to what really matters, which is my new look. 1.00
00:07:18.000 Now, I wear suits every day, but on the Saturdays, going to the baseball game, you look like an asshole in a suit, right? 0.99
00:07:24.000 Although you didn't in the glory days. 1.00
00:07:26.000 So I got this iron and resin shit. 0.98
00:07:29.000 Look at this jacket. 0.99
00:07:32.000 It looks like a Carhartt, which is a compliment.
00:07:35.000 It's better than a Carhartt.
00:07:37.000 It's got a thick, it's for motorcycles.
00:07:40.000 It's got this thick sort of waxy coating to it.
00:07:42.000 So you don't get road rash.
00:07:44.000 And then my shirt underneath is also iron and resin.
00:07:47.000 Ooh, wait, wait, wait.
00:07:48.000 The inside.
00:07:49.000 Oh, the inside.
00:07:50.000 I almost forgot.
00:07:51.000 It's got like a Pendleton inside.
00:07:54.000 That is luxurious.
00:07:56.000 So just to recap the whole look, um,
00:08:00.000 I've got these.
00:08:01.000 I'm not sure I chose the right pants.
00:08:03.000 These are just gap pants.
00:08:04.000 And then I have my resold red wings with the plastic thing on the bottom to prevent the sole wearing out.
00:08:11.000 These are like six years old, these red wings. 0.96
00:08:14.000 Am I fucking gorgeous or what? 0.97
00:08:16.000 It's a great look. 1.00
00:08:17.000 I lust me.
00:08:19.000 If I was a girl watching right now, of age, from 18 to 80, I would be diddling my bean right now. 0.93
00:08:26.000 Ladies, are you bean diddling? 1.00
00:08:27.000 Are you bediddling?
00:08:28.000 Turn the volume off, that'll kill the mood.
00:08:30.000 But you can just watch this and just diddle that bean.
00:08:34.000 And if you're a squirter, put a towel down. 0.98
00:08:37.000 And if you're at work or something, I would recommend you, before you watch the show, you go and procure some Always With Wings.
00:08:46.000 Maybe two.
00:08:47.000 And if there's not none around, get a Zwiffer pad.
00:08:50.000 Put that down there because you're going to be drenching your chair this show.
00:08:54.000 What do you think about the black undershirt?
00:08:57.000 I had a green undershirt with this shirt earlier from my boxing gym.
00:09:04.000 All of this is an homage to the blue collar.
00:09:08.000 Oh, you're LARPing as a blue-collar dude.
00:09:10.000 No, I'm inventing a new thing.
00:09:13.000 It's rich guy who isn't ripping it off.
00:09:17.000 He's accepted that he'll never be part of the crowd.
00:09:20.000 I don't know where a transmission is.
00:09:23.000 I jumpstarted my bike the other day and was pooping my pants because I was so worried about touching the red and blacks together. 1.00
00:09:30.000 I'm a faggot. 0.99
00:09:32.000 So, I own it now. 1.00
00:09:33.000 Like I'll wear a Gucci belt with this.
00:09:36.000 I'll have my Rolex.
00:09:37.000 I'll have my Gucci wallet.
00:09:39.000 I'll have my $900 Gucci high tops.
00:09:42.000 You get it?
00:09:45.000 You with me?
00:09:46.000 Oh yeah, me?
00:09:46.000 Yeah.
00:09:47.000 Come on.
00:09:48.000 But you're not rich.
00:09:49.000 I'm rich. 0.61
00:09:52.000 You're the worst of both worlds.
00:09:53.000 Me buying this sent me back.
00:09:56.000 You're LARPing as a blue collar dude.
00:10:00.000 I'm going down to blue collar, you're going up to blue collar.
00:10:03.000 I'm LARPing as a rich guy LARPing as whatever I am.
00:10:07.000 There's too many LARPs dude, I'm getting overwhelmed.
00:10:13.000 I can't remember when we started.
00:10:16.000 What I've done and what I haven't done.
00:10:19.000 I think it's already 50 minutes in.
00:10:21.000 Can you just show more of Iron and Resin?
00:10:23.000 Now one thing, if you are shopping at that site, I don't know what's with the dudes there.
00:10:27.000 They've got this sort of California post skater look, which I guess is what I'm adopting.
00:10:34.000 You can tell they were hunks in high school.
00:10:36.000 It's old hunks, which is what I'd like to be known as. 0.85
00:10:39.000 I'd like to be a dilf, please. 1.00
00:10:42.000 But you gotta go large.
00:10:44.000 This is an- I'm petite.
00:10:45.000 I'm 5'10 and a half, 192 pounds.
00:10:48.000 This is an extra large that I'm wearing.
00:10:51.000 And when I wear my iron and resin shirt and jacket, still extra large is relatively snug.
00:10:57.000 Maybe they get them from Japan? 0.99
00:11:01.000 No one larps better than the nips. 1.00
00:11:04.000 Although I just criticized one for LARPing badly.
00:11:07.000 Correct.
00:11:08.000 Look at this thing. 0.76
00:11:10.000 Do you have a boner yet, Ryan? 0.58
00:11:12.000 Me, personally, I don't.
00:11:14.000 What?
00:11:14.000 But I could understand how people be boned up.
00:11:16.000 How could you not have a boner for me? 1.00
00:11:18.000 What are you, a fag? 1.00
00:11:20.000 Well in that case, it's oh wait now. 0.99
00:11:23.000 I do oh there we go That's like that time me and Steve were at a film festival to promote my film The travel hood of the the Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants, and there's a lot of downtime so we're hanging out the ski we went skiing and we're hanging out down there at the bottom of the hill and There's Steve bumps into a dude who was riding his mountain bike down the snow and
00:11:47.000 I didn't know this was a sport, but they go on ice jumps, and they mountain bike snow hills.
00:11:53.000 And Steve and him just bonded immediately, because, you know, he's got a motocross background, and they're rapid, and they, I think they even exchange numbers, which is hard to do as a straight man.
00:12:03.000 That's the hardest part about moving to a new city, is you meet guys, right?
00:12:09.000 You're meeting, you're accruing new pals, and then there's that part where you have to go, so anyway, what's your phone number?
00:12:15.000 I should call you.
00:12:16.000 Let's get out of this bar and take our friendship to the next level. 0.99
00:12:20.000 It's really gay. 1.00
00:12:21.000 It's hard.
00:12:23.000 You have to say like, uh, oh yeah, yeah, when I go to that place, I'll text you.
00:12:26.000 And be like, oh yeah, give me your number real quick.
00:12:28.000 Ooh, that's weird. 0.99
00:12:29.000 I find the best way is you have some dumb meme. 0.92
00:12:32.000 And then you're like, can you send that to me? 0.94
00:12:35.000 Oh. 0.98
00:12:36.000 You know what sucks?
00:12:38.000 Having to hide that I have a social media presence because people think I'm just like a nice, not mildly jokingly racist guy. 0.99
00:12:46.000 Oh, and then they look you up and you're a Nazi.
00:12:50.000 Yeah, well, try being me. 0.93
00:12:52.000 I'm way more important than you.
00:12:53.000 That's correct.
00:12:54.000 You know what I did once?
00:12:56.000 I told you at that bar, that airport bar at JFK, the retro 50s one, I was talking to a guy all night, we got drunk, and I could tell he was a lefty, and then at the very end of the night I just said, I'm Gavin McKinsey, I invented the Proud Boys, and then left.
00:13:11.000 Oh, I wish I could do that.
00:13:12.000 You were talking to Satan!
00:13:13.000 That feels great.
00:13:15.000 Um... But wait, we have an unturned stone here.
00:13:19.000 Uh, and I... This is one of the pro- What's that?
00:13:22.000 Blue collar fashion, the OG. 0.88
00:13:25.000 Okay. 0.99
00:13:28.000 Great, now you made me totally forget what I was fucking talking about, Ryan. 0.99
00:13:31.000 I thought it was your outfit. 0.99
00:13:32.000 Boner? 0.73
00:13:33.000 It's gay to have a boner, your friends were... Oh yeah, yeah, so Steve, Steve, is talking to that guy, and then I was noticing this dude, he was kind of frumpy, he had on like slobby clothes, kind of like this kind of vibe, and he had on moccasins, and his hair was kind of in his eyes, and he had a bit of a beard, and he was talking to some old ladies, I don't know if they were his mom's friends or his grandma's friends, but he was making them laugh, and... 1.00
00:13:57.000 After both guys left, I go, did you see that guy talking to the old ladies? 0.54
00:14:00.000 He seemed kind of cool.
00:14:01.000 He goes, what?
00:14:03.000 I wasn't even sure if that was a dude.
00:14:04.000 I thought it was a lesbian. 1.00
00:14:07.000 And he goes, look at the kind of guy I'm into and look at the kind of guy you're into, you fucking fag! 1.00
00:14:17.000 What a salient point. 1.00
00:14:18.000 Isn't that awesome? 0.99
00:14:19.000 He was calling me a fag. 0.98
00:14:20.000 Because you like a different type of dude. 0.94
00:14:23.000 Yeah, it's like the dude who does Drunk History did a sketch a long time ago, or he wrote it. 0.94
00:14:28.000 I can't remember if he ever made it, but it was this guy, and he was hanging out with his girlfriend, and they all go, ah ha, you fag, hanging out with your girlfriend. 0.99
00:14:36.000 Oh, I want to be with my girl. 1.00
00:14:38.000 Meanwhile, we're all going to the fucking pub, you pussy. 1.00
00:14:41.000 And then the next time they see him, he's with a dude who's a leather fag. 1.00
00:14:46.000 This is a very gay episode, isn't it? 1.00
00:14:48.000 A little bit. 0.61
00:14:49.000 And he goes, hey guys, what's up?
00:14:52.000 And then the other sketch he wrote, this is Derek, what's his name, Waters?
00:14:57.000 They call this guy and they go, hey man, come hang out.
00:14:59.000 And he goes, oh, I'm with my girlfriend. 1.00
00:15:01.000 And they go, you fucking fag. 1.00
00:15:03.000 And he goes, it's her funeral. 1.00
00:15:07.000 Funny guy.
00:15:09.000 Let's talk briefly about tactical walls.
00:15:12.000 We've had them here.
00:15:13.000 We have tactical walls in our studio. 0.98
00:15:16.000 And it's bittersweet, because they're cool, but Ryan ruined his by displaying t-shirts in the stupidest, weirdest way imaginable. 0.66
00:15:26.000 But it's bittersweet because tactical walls is usually used to display guns. 0.87
00:15:30.000 We are here in the South Bronx where we're not allowed to have guns. 0.96
00:15:35.000 Although there's some crazy shit going on with New York State, have you heard this? 0.85
00:15:38.000 New York City will never change, but they might be making it easier for concealed carry just outside of the state, where I live in Westchester. 0.97
00:15:46.000 Mmm, that'd be cool.
00:15:47.000 Oh, yeah, it would I have no idea You should be showing tactical walls behind me dude.
00:15:52.000 We're doing a commercial.
00:15:54.000 I have no idea no idea What it feels like to walk around with a gun It must feel it must change you
00:16:03.000 You know what I mean?
00:16:04.000 Knowing no one can hurt you?
00:16:06.000 You must just be like Superman.
00:16:08.000 Just calm down.
00:16:10.000 Sir, I don't have a problem with you.
00:16:12.000 It's unfortunate you have a problem with me.
00:16:14.000 I wish you would calm down.
00:16:16.000 I don't want to have to use my superpowers that are on my hips.
00:16:21.000 So that's Tactical Walls in all its glory.
00:16:23.000 TacticalWalls.com.
00:16:25.000 It's vet owned, vet run, and made in America.
00:16:29.000 This guy used to work for a plastic manufacturer and then he started buying the machines that made the plastic shapes.
00:16:36.000 We'll deal with that another time.
00:16:38.000 And then he started his own company.
00:16:39.000 He makes those sheets himself.
00:16:42.000 Like he digs those grooves with the machines.
00:16:44.000 These machines cost like hundreds of thousands, but they pay themselves back.
00:16:48.000 And so when you go to Tactical Walls and you get all their cool ways to hide guns in shells and mirrors and cabinets and Kleenex boxes, the issue box, my favorite part of this whole thing, you are supporting American business.
00:17:01.000 And if you buy anything from a sponsor of our show, you're supporting free speech.
00:17:08.000 And the show!
00:17:10.000 I mean, it's like a quadruple whammy.
00:17:12.000 So go there, use the promo code GAVIN, and you get, I believe it's 20% off.
00:17:17.000 Maybe I should read the text here.
00:17:19.000 Yes.
00:17:20.000 20% off all orders at tacticalwalls.com.
00:17:27.000 All right, I've already covered my look.
00:17:29.000 We covered the election yesterday, which is exciting.
00:17:35.000 I don't know, I kind of feel like I live in Africa.
00:17:38.000 And the fact that they stole New Jersey at two in the morning, but we got Virginia makes me happy. 0.97
00:17:45.000 It's like, I knew Mugabe was going to win again, but at least our little district of Zimbabwe got some justice.
00:17:52.000 That's how bad it is. 0.80
00:17:54.000 We're sitting there with our balls going, more gruel, sir.
00:17:57.000 And we get a little bit of justice and we go, thank you.
00:18:00.000 Thank you for Virginia.
00:18:02.000 But it has been fun watching the meltdowns.
00:18:08.000 Uh, should we jump into the mailbag?
00:18:11.000 We could.
00:18:12.000 Is that crazy?
00:18:14.000 I feel a little sidetracked here without Matty O'Dell.
00:18:20.000 Yeah.
00:18:21.000 And we don't usually cover news.
00:18:25.000 Let's do some mailbags. 0.99
00:18:25.000 Yes, let's do it. 0.99
00:18:27.000 Mailbag!
00:18:28.000 Let's read some letters.
00:18:29.000 Because the people who tune in to the free part never hear our letters and they don't know about our viewers.
00:18:35.000 So how could they ever want to become one?
00:18:39.000 Um...
00:18:56.000 An eagle in the hands of the left.
00:18:58.000 Your mic just went, oh wait.
00:18:59.000 Maybe that's my headphones?
00:19:01.000 Hello?
00:19:01.000 Hello?
00:19:02.000 Checkity check.
00:19:02.000 We're good.
00:19:03.000 Scary.
00:19:04.000 This one's kind of far down, Ryan, because it updated as I was looking.
00:19:07.000 So, uh, this one's from yesterday.
00:19:09.000 When the left is in charge of America, America is just confused as to how it got there.
00:19:15.000 And then it has a woman holding the bird, which is the bald eagle.
00:19:20.000 And he's just sort of going, this is a fantastic photo.
00:19:22.000 I think it might, we might need to make it a painting.
00:19:26.000 Hello?
00:19:27.000 Can you do your job at some point today?
00:19:29.000 I'm scrolling.
00:19:30.000 American, the handle... Okay, got it.
00:19:32.000 Oh, that only took you an hour.
00:19:34.000 Nice job.
00:19:36.000 Still going, still waiting.
00:19:39.000 Okay, this is perfect.
00:19:40.000 This is an oil painting. 0.99
00:19:42.000 We have a fat deranged pig who can't even dye her hair purple correctly. 1.00
00:19:49.000 Ladies, take it from someone who was punk throughout the 80s. 0.99
00:19:53.000 You need to put Vaseline or something along your skin line so the dye doesn't seep into your skin.
00:20:00.000 Now you have a purple scalp.
00:20:03.000 With purple dripping down your head, you look like Giuliani doing a press conference. 1.00
00:20:07.000 So that's pathetic. 0.99
00:20:08.000 She also can't dress, right? 0.99
00:20:11.000 She's in her sweats.
00:20:12.000 She's also overindulged. 1.00
00:20:14.000 I can't express how gross it is to see fat women. 1.00
00:20:18.000 There's like women who are slightly overweight. 1.00
00:20:20.000 They had kids or whatever. 0.99
00:20:21.000 But when you see a fat, disgusting pig like this, you think the Lord didn't just give you life. 0.99
00:20:28.000 Like he gave Ryan and I. We have bodies. 0.99
00:20:30.000 Thank you for that, by the way.
00:20:31.000 Thank you for the lungs that work and all that.
00:20:33.000 But when you're a woman, he gave you this innate beauty. 0.97
00:20:38.000 But what about ugly women? 1.00
00:20:40.000 There's really no such thing. 1.00
00:20:42.000 If your hair is long, you put on a little bit of makeup and you're not disgustingly obese, you're a sex at worst.
00:20:52.000 You think of the of course there's some exceptions like Tarana Burke.
00:20:56.000 I was just gonna say I don't know if she could do anything to rescue that mess But for the most part with all the hair extensions and eyelash like you can be and that that's that's a freak Yeah, that doesn't count doesn't count 0.98
00:21:10.000 She's not ugly.
00:21:12.000 She's deformed. 1.00
00:21:13.000 That's like saying a burn victim is ugly. 0.94
00:21:16.000 So yeah, you have a gift when you're a woman. 1.00
00:21:20.000 And then to see this woman, like this, this picture, you're looking at this woman.
00:21:23.000 That's a, we should stay specific before we go wandering off and showing handicapped people in Bali.
00:21:29.000 Uh, you can tell that that could be a seven and she's just throwing it all down the drain. 1.00
00:21:36.000 And she's a four standing next to a diarrhea pond. 1.00
00:21:40.000 Now, that's just the beginning of this amazing picture.
00:21:43.000 So, a big problem I find with America is female empowerment. 1.00
00:21:48.000 It feels like affirmative action.
00:21:50.000 You have all these women getting in fields they don't belong, like pretending there's such a thing as a female rabbi. 1.00
00:21:56.000 Rewriting the Jewish religion just for fun? 1.00
00:21:59.000 You stupid bitch. 1.00
00:22:01.000 There's no female rabbis. 1.00
00:22:03.000 There's no female priests. 1.00
00:22:04.000 There's no female clerics. 1.00
00:22:06.000 If you're Goyim and your son is Jewish and your husband's Jewish, your son's not Jewish. 0.98
00:22:13.000 The mom has to be Jewish. 1.00
00:22:14.000 You can't keep rewriting the rules.
00:22:17.000 You cannot be a Catholic and be pro-choice. 0.81
00:22:20.000 I'm sorry.
00:22:22.000 So anyway, that's all facts but this is opinion now.
00:22:26.000 My sexist perspective is that women don't do well in men's fields generally and politics is a numbers game and numbers is a man's game generally.
00:22:37.000 We have more testosterone, we're able to concentrate more and women are bad at math and if you're bad at math you're bad at politics. 1.00
00:22:44.000 Because you need the numbers.
00:22:45.000 How many illegals are here?
00:22:47.000 How long have the borders been broken open?
00:22:50.000 What year was that?
00:22:52.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:53.000 All of that is totally relevant to the discussion of any political thing.
00:22:58.000 And they're all so easy prey for these solipsistic scam artists who say, I want to help the poor.
00:23:05.000 If you're against welfare, you're against the poor. 0.97
00:23:08.000 If you don't vote for me, you're racist.
00:23:11.000 Just today I was thinking about that dude, Marty Gold, who was a state senator in New York for 15 years.
00:23:22.000 And then this guy, Guandares, took over because the globalists funded him.
00:23:27.000 And the way he won was he mailed a letter to everyone in the 22nd District of Brooklyn, which is all cops and firemen, that said, this guy's a proud boy.
00:23:36.000 It's totally made up, but it worked.
00:23:40.000 And the guy won.
00:23:42.000 Knocked out of a... Yeah, that guy.
00:23:45.000 What's his name?
00:23:46.000 Marty Golden.
00:23:47.000 Marty Golden.
00:23:48.000 You're golden, Marty.
00:23:50.000 Knocked out of 15 years of a cop and fireman district of Brooklyn because of a Proud Boy allegation that was not true.
00:23:57.000 And that's women. 1.00
00:23:58.000 I'm sorry. 1.00
00:24:01.000 All right, so she's obese, it's disgusting, women are... I hate to say women are ruining America because actual women, housewives, women who are normal and women who represent the kind of moms that we had when we were young, like kindergarten teachers used to see boys being rambunctious and they'd go, 1.00
00:24:20.000 Boys will be boys.
00:24:21.000 Now they see it as a sin, a vice.
00:24:23.000 Now they think the kid needs Adderall or he needs some sort of concentration drugs and he needs to sit down. 0.99
00:24:28.000 They're anti-male and they sit there and they brainwash our kids and they say Trump sucks and they have this political agenda. 1.00
00:24:35.000 So when I say women suck, I'm really talking about the shit chests, the broken robots. 1.00
00:24:39.000 I'm not talking about women in their true form. 1.00
00:24:42.000 I'm talking about what we've done to them, really. 0.99
00:24:45.000 And when I talk about young girls, I mean OnlyFans, we've turned them into sluts, they're colostomy bags for strangers come. 1.00
00:24:51.000 And when I talk about older women, I'm talking about these political activist women, like Amy Siskind, who wage domestic terror campaigns on their neighbors and tell their kids they can't hang out with other kids because of this and that, and they X people and they don't invite them to Thanksgiving or Christmas because they've committed some sort of political sin. 1.00
00:25:09.000 That's someone who's not really into politics.
00:25:11.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:13.000 Like people who are good at politics, they can handle differences of opinions.
00:25:19.000 Like Anthony Scalia, he was friends with RBG, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
00:25:25.000 They had different opinions on everything, but he can handle it.
00:25:28.000 Anyway, get back to this picture.
00:25:30.000 I'm not done. 1.00
00:25:33.000 And speaking of victims, like Justin Trudeau is the stupidest. 1.00
00:25:38.000 Well, I used to say this a lot, but now I'm thinking Biden might be worse. 1.00
00:25:43.000 Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden are neck and neck when it comes to worst and stupidest politician of all time. 1.00
00:25:51.000 Joe Biden got elected because everyone hated Trump because they thought he was sexist like me. 1.00
00:25:56.000 And that was women. 1.00
00:25:58.000 Justin Trudeau got elected because he's a hunk. 0.95
00:26:02.000 That's it.
00:26:04.000 He's attractive.
00:26:06.000 So that's what women do at the polls. 1.00
00:26:08.000 They vote with their pussies, and it's not going well for Canada, nor America. 0.99
00:26:13.000 And by the way, white women are being blamed for the Virginia victory, and I think those women are more the initial good woman I was talking about, the housewives. 0.99
00:26:24.000 And their mommy instincts came out when they said critical race theory is important and we have too many white teachers, and these housewives, the real women, 1.00
00:26:33.000 So, the Virginia election is an interesting dichotomy with the bad woman I'm talking about, who is represented by her, and the good women who protect their children and care about them. 0.99
00:26:47.000 And then we have America, wrapped up in a blanket that it doesn't want, ostensibly being rescued, but we're not sure, and wondering what the fuck is going on. 0.97
00:26:59.000 Of course, this whole analogy falls apart when this woman is actually probably helping that bird. 0.95
00:27:05.000 I maybe shouldn't have spent 20 minutes on an analogy that falls apart at the very end because that bird will be better off with her intervention. 0.72
00:27:13.000 Whoops.
00:27:14.000 It looks like she's been taking care of the bird, which is the bald eagle, for a long time.
00:27:17.000 She's kind of sick of it.
00:27:18.000 She's like, yeah. 0.67
00:27:19.000 Thanks a lot, baby monster who sent this in. 0.99
00:27:21.000 You just made me look like a moron because I went off on a 20 minute diatribe that does not end well for me. 0.99
00:27:29.000 Alright, let's, and this is the problem with live shows, because I can't edit out that stupidity. 1.00
00:27:35.000 I also spent the entire time talking about stupid people, and then I end up being the stupidest one of all. 1.00
00:27:43.000 Embarrassing. 1.00
00:27:43.000 We're not afraid of the truth here on Censored.TV. 1.00
00:27:46.000 Yeah, that's how we'll spin it.
00:27:47.000 No matter where it leads.
00:27:48.000 Yeah, even when we end up hoisted on our own retard. 0.88
00:27:55.000 What is a petard, by the way? 0.59
00:27:56.000 I think it's a spear.
00:27:57.000 Oh, okay.
00:28:00.000 I don't know how you hoist yourself on your own petard. 1.00
00:28:05.000 How the fuck are you so shitty at petarding that you end up hoisting yourself? 1.00
00:28:10.000 Yeah, what are you, a retarded petarder? 1.00
00:28:13.000 Yeah, you fucking petard. 1.00
00:28:15.000 How do you hoist your... Pull up a picture of hoisting yourself on your own petard. 1.00
00:28:18.000 I understand how you shoot yourself in the foot.
00:28:21.000 That's a better analogy.
00:28:22.000 But hoi... You hoist... Petard.
00:28:28.000 Show a picture.
00:28:29.000 Find someone hoisted on their own petard.
00:28:31.000 Hoisted on... I didn't.
00:28:33.000 I thought it was more of a spear.
00:28:34.000 It looks like it's more of a hooky thing.
00:28:36.000 That makes a little more sense.
00:28:39.000 Although, don't you have to really hook it in?
00:28:41.000 Hoisted on a petard.
00:28:42.000 Wait.
00:28:44.000 That's a petard.
00:28:46.000 So is it a hoist?
00:28:48.000 Well, we're really getting lost here.
00:28:50.000 Etymology.
00:28:50.000 Okay, here we go.
00:28:56.000 No, no, I don't want to see an example of the analogy, Ryan.
00:28:59.000 Here we go.
00:29:00.000 The primary purpose of a batard was to blow up a door.
00:29:03.000 Its crude construction and gunpowder explosive made it not unlikely to blow up the bomber instead, hence being hoist on one's own batard.
00:29:10.000 Wow, I wasn't even close.
00:29:12.000 So there's no hoist, there's no spear.
00:29:13.000 This is the Gavin is a Petard episode.
00:29:18.000 I gotta take some of those Joe Rogan pills. 1.00
00:29:20.000 Well, your blue-collar guys don't know bullshit like this. 0.99
00:29:23.000 Yeah, I'm blue-collar, man. 0.99
00:29:24.000 That's it.
00:29:24.000 I was busy working all day.
00:29:26.000 You think I got time to look up petards? 0.99
00:29:27.000 I don't fucking know. 1.00
00:29:28.000 What the fuck? 0.99
00:29:29.000 Is that from like 200 years ago? 1.00
00:29:32.000 I was fucking replacing a four-on-the-floor with a souped-up Hemi. 0.97
00:29:35.000 Hey, Sergei! 0.99
00:29:37.000 This thing doesn't fucking work. 0.98
00:29:40.000 Sergei! 0.98
00:29:42.000 It's Siri, Dad.
00:29:44.000 Matt Walsh does watch your show.
00:29:46.000 By the way, that was a terrible impersonation of what a dad would do, because you don't have one, so you don't know how they act.
00:29:51.000 That's why I don't know.
00:29:52.000 I have no reference.
00:29:55.000 Matt Walsh does watch your show.
00:29:56.000 Video proof.
00:29:57.000 Hey, Gavin Rye, you were right when you speculated that Matt Walsh watches your show.
00:30:00.000 When talking about the black guy punching the white woman on the subway, he almost sings, Can you imagine if the races were reversed? 0.52
00:30:09.000 P.S. 1.00
00:30:10.000 You are a bear and you eat in the garbage! 0.99
00:30:13.000 He's referring, of course, to the mentally ill tree planter I had when I was a tree planting foreman in Northern Ontario. 1.00
00:30:20.000 He was a professor at MIT who had taught astrophysics and he lost his mind.
00:30:30.000 He became three people.
00:30:33.000 John, which was himself, the Nietzschean Ubermensch,
00:30:38.000 And Snuggles the dog.
00:30:40.000 And the Nietzschean Ubermensch and Snuggles were constantly at each other's throats with the Ubermensch saying, do you want to die?
00:30:47.000 And Snuggles going, no, no, I don't want to die.
00:30:49.000 Usually portrayed as sock puppets. 0.98
00:30:51.000 And one of the most brutal insults that the Ubermensch would give Snuggles is you are a bear and you eat in the garbage. 0.87
00:30:59.000 And I would hear him yelling this from his tent at night.
00:31:03.000 I miss him.
00:31:04.000 I was just talking to my wife about that.
00:31:06.000 This is in my book, Death of the Cool.
00:31:07.000 But there was a scene when I showed up and he's just staring into space.
00:31:12.000 And oh yeah, he had written, I didn't realize this at the time, but I found it later, he had written the word John over five square miles.
00:31:21.000 I'd given him this massive piece of land to just do trees for weeks and weeks.
00:31:25.000 And instead he just wrote John, so God would see it when the trees grew.
00:31:30.000 And John is his name and it's the first name in the Bible.
00:31:32.000 So he feels a close link to God.
00:31:34.000 And so I just see like a tree, then a whole thing of trees, then no trees, then some trees, because I'm in the letter J. And I go, John, what the fuck is going on here? 0.99
00:31:42.000 He goes, hello. 0.99
00:31:44.000 And, uh, I said, he goes, who are you?
00:31:47.000 I go, who am I?
00:31:50.000 I'm Gavin.
00:31:50.000 I see you every day.
00:31:52.000 You get fucking 10 cents for those. 0.99
00:31:54.000 So you better move fast. 1.00
00:31:57.000 10 cents a tree.
00:31:57.000 Um,
00:31:59.000 And he goes, what are you doing here?
00:32:00.000 And I go, well, I'm a tree planter.
00:32:02.000 We plant trees.
00:32:03.000 When people excavate land, when they scarify the land, they need to replenish the soil with new trees.
00:32:09.000 So they take the loggers, have to pay a commission to the government, then the government pays us to replant the trees.
00:32:16.000 And he goes, oh, that's interesting.
00:32:19.000 And then he goes, one of my favorite lines of my entire life, he goes, is everybody on this planet a tree planter?
00:32:27.000 No, John, an unfathomably tiny percentage of this planet is made up of tree planters.
00:32:34.000 Maybe 1,000 globally, I would say.
00:32:39.000 Not a big percentage of the seven bill.
00:32:41.000 Anyway, sorry, I'm off on a tangent here and I have no idea how long we've been talking for, but second letter.
00:32:46.000 And again, if we're going by one standard here, we know
00:32:54.000 That if the races were reversed, certainly everybody would be saying that. 0.98
00:32:57.000 I mean, can you imagine a large white man punching a black woman in the face? 0.98
00:33:03.000 I don't know. 0.97
00:33:04.000 And there's video of it.
00:33:05.000 That's paltry evidence.
00:33:07.000 Oh, here it is.
00:33:08.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
00:33:11.000 Oh, that sounded exactly like me.
00:33:14.000 Dead on.
00:33:17.000 And then he includes schoolboys in lingerie give their principal a lap dance and... Oh, that's the episode that we watch.
00:33:26.000 Oh, I see.
00:33:28.000 I see.
00:33:28.000 I'm caught up.
00:33:28.000 Sorry.
00:33:29.000 Which is pretty wild.
00:33:31.000 Yeah, it is. 0.98
00:33:33.000 I mean, I'm of two minds about that whole thing, too, because the old me goes, oh, shut up. 0.99
00:33:38.000 It's a bunch of people dressed up in dumb costumes, and they're joking around with their teachers, giving them a lap dance. 0.99
00:33:44.000 And it's what a lot of lefties would call homophobic to dress up as a woman. 1.00
00:33:50.000 And I'm sure lefties are outraged by that. 0.90
00:33:52.000 But then on the other hand, with this massive gayification of our students, 1.00
00:33:56.000 I go, why are you dressing up kids?
00:33:57.000 And they're not kids.
00:33:58.000 They're like 17.
00:33:59.000 Why are you dressing up kids as women? 1.00
00:34:03.000 I guess what I'm saying is, if they were doing offensive shit across the board, then I'd be laughing and enjoying it. 0.99
00:34:09.000 It's the fact that they're only offensive when it fits the left's agenda that pisses me off. 0.99
00:34:14.000 Maybe I'm jealous that they get to be offensive and I don't.
00:34:18.000 This is called the black lips.
00:34:22.000 I feel like you must know this band, but I've never seen you mention them.
00:34:24.000 The Black Lips seem like they're right up your alley.
00:34:26.000 Yes, we're good friends.
00:34:27.000 We were both at Scott Campbell's wedding.
00:34:33.000 They played, and Scott used to do my tattoos.
00:34:35.000 He doesn't speak to me anymore, of course, because of Trump.
00:34:38.000 But Vice signed the Black Lips, and we wanted to make their album The Last of the White Niggers, which was a Lester Bangs t-shirt he used to wear. 0.99
00:34:48.000 And Vice said no, and I was on my way out, and I said, sorry boys, you're on your own.
00:34:52.000 I can't help you get this cool title.
00:34:57.000 Is this Dirty Hands?
00:35:02.000 Vinny Vidivici.
00:35:04.000 Oh, their best song is Dirty Hands.
00:35:05.000 But yeah, thank you for telling me about a band I discovered.
00:35:08.000 I really appreciate it, viewers at home.
00:35:10.000 This is the problem with being half a century old, is you've been around for so long.
00:35:15.000 I'm such a pop culture vampire that people go, hey, have you heard of this thing called punk?
00:35:20.000 I go, yeah, I was there when it began.
00:35:26.000 Want to hear a retarded thought I had today? 0.99
00:35:28.000 Yes.
00:35:29.000 I was looking at this picture of Jane Fonda when she was arrested in 1970. 0.99
00:35:32.000 This is how dumb I am. 1.00
00:35:36.000 How shitty my brain is. 1.00
00:35:37.000 Probably from boxing. 1.00
00:35:39.000 This is what pugilistic dementia sounds like. 0.99
00:35:42.000 So, I saw her mugshot from 1970 and I thought, holy shit, she's beautiful. 0.99
00:35:49.000 What a looker. 0.98
00:35:50.000 I love her hair.
00:35:51.000 I love everything about her. 1.00
00:35:53.000 I wish I could have fucked... I guess I could... Could I have fucked her back then? 1.00
00:35:57.000 How old was I? 0.99
00:35:58.000 And then I was like, I was born in 1970, so I'd just be a newborn.
00:36:02.000 I probably wouldn't be able to get it in her. 1.00
00:36:04.000 I wouldn't be able to fuck her because my dick would be all soft and baby-ish. 1.00
00:36:10.000 That's a man's brain. 1.00
00:36:11.000 Maybe when you're five and then she's five years older from this point... Well, now we're getting into pedophilia and you're losing the humor here. 0.72
00:36:19.000 When you're a baby, it's not pedophilia. 0.97
00:36:21.000 But as soon as you're one, now you're on the market for... Well, when I'm a newborn, it's ridiculous enough to be funny. 0.98
00:36:27.000 Children are raped at five, so you just took my super funny, weird, millisecond thought and you turned it into literally the worst thing in the world. 0.93
00:36:35.000 This is her in 75. 1.00
00:36:35.000 Still, I'd like to fuck that now. 1.00
00:36:42.000 Actually, I think I would, you know, I think I would fuck her now. 1.00
00:36:45.000 But I wouldn't because I'm married, but I'll tell you what I would do. 1.00
00:36:49.000 If Oprah wanted to fuck me, I would fuck her and I would tell my wife, we're doing this honey, sorry. 1.00
00:36:55.000 Because it would be the greatest story of all time. 1.00
00:36:57.000 No matter what happens, whether it went good or bad, I'm going to have the, I fucked Oprah story to take to my grave. 0.98
00:37:04.000 We're obviously not going to fall in love and elope. 1.00
00:37:06.000 This isn't like that movie where Robert De Niro offers a million dollars to fuck that guy's wife. 0.99
00:37:11.000 There's no risk of it going anywhere. 0.99
00:37:14.000 So I'm just going to, it'd be like, uh, I don't know, living with elephants for a year.
00:37:19.000 Well, I wouldn't do that.
00:37:21.000 I'd miss my kids.
00:37:24.000 This is one of the weirdest episodes we've ever done.
00:37:30.000 What are you doing?
00:37:31.000 He kissed Jane Fonda.
00:37:32.000 Yeah.
00:37:34.000 That was weird.
00:37:36.000 That's like a real kiss.
00:37:39.000 Uh, snitching is a little faggy, but to paraphrase Nietzsche... 1.00
00:37:44.000 You were a bear and you eat in the garbage. 1.00
00:37:46.000 No, why not be a fag once in a while? 1.00
00:37:47.000 This guy Clip Clipperson is making money off your content on YouTube. 0.98
00:37:50.000 Thought you'd like to know.
00:37:54.000 Yeah, I was just checking him out today too.
00:37:57.000 And I was realizing something interesting about the workforce.
00:38:01.000 He's doing a great service to this site by advertising us on YouTube, which is the number one video source in the world, more than television.
00:38:10.000 And he's only using short clips.
00:38:13.000 So I love him for that.
00:38:15.000 And this is something that we would normally, a company would allot a budget for.
00:38:19.000 It could be a full-time job.
00:38:21.000 Probably not.
00:38:21.000 Probably like a 30k a year job, 20k a year.
00:38:24.000 But in today's society, people do work that they love for free.
00:38:31.000 And that's what's amazing about the modern workforce. 0.96
00:38:35.000 I mean, you think about pre-computers, everyone had to do so much filing of papers and a lot of bullshit they hated.
00:38:43.000 But a lot of jobs now are kind of cool.
00:38:47.000 And the fact that you get paid for them is just sort of a made up number.
00:38:50.000 And I noticed this with Vice in the early days.
00:38:53.000 I'd say, can you stay this weekend?
00:38:54.000 We'll give you a bonus.
00:38:54.000 And they go, okay, how much?
00:38:55.000 400 bucks.
00:38:56.000 Oh, great.
00:38:57.000 And then as time went on into the, like say early aughts, I'd say, can you work this weekend?
00:39:03.000 No.
00:39:03.000 Okay.
00:39:04.000 I'll give you 400 bucks.
00:39:05.000 We got to finish this proposal.
00:39:06.000 No.
00:39:06.000 Uh, 4,000 bucks.
00:39:08.000 No.
00:39:11.000 40,000?
00:39:12.000 I'm lying now.
00:39:12.000 I'm not gonna pay that but I just want to see what the number is.
00:39:15.000 No number!
00:39:16.000 Zoomers do not see money as an incentive. 1.00
00:39:22.000 So work has changed so drastically even in the past 25 years.
00:39:27.000 Like computers ostensibly freed up half the day, right? 0.99
00:39:31.000 We don't have to file shit. 0.98
00:39:33.000 Like I was looking up some news item that woman who got attacked on August 22nd at the anti-vax thing in Olympia, Washington. 0.99
00:39:43.000 How hard would that have been for me to dig up? 0.99
00:39:45.000 I'd have to go to some stupid library and look through their microfiche for hours. 0.99
00:39:49.000 I didn't even remember the day. 1.00
00:39:52.000 I didn't even remember the year.
00:39:54.000 I'd be there for a week.
00:39:56.000 Now I just go photographer attacked Olympia.
00:40:03.000 Done.
00:40:04.000 Got it.
00:40:04.000 Found it.
00:40:06.000 All right.
00:40:06.000 I think we're running out of time here.
00:40:11.000 So we're going to do one last thing and then we're going to go behind the paywall.
00:40:16.000 Let's talk about another veteran owned company, BeardVet.
00:40:20.000 BeardVet has a great beard grooming and coffee.
00:40:24.000 El Diablo coffee blend, Brazilian roast blend.
00:40:27.000 We have, uh, we have BeardVet here at the studio for our coffee.
00:40:32.000 And we also have the products for this, for combing the beard.
00:40:37.000 Look at that stuff.
00:40:39.000 We're BeardVet dudes.
00:40:42.000 So if you go to BeardVet.com, this is all American, American run, American owned, made in America, 15% off all orders when you use the promo code GAVIN.
00:40:56.000 And Sean, the owner of BeardVet is one of us, good egg, we like him.
00:40:59.000 And again, you're drinking coffee.
00:41:01.000 So why not get your coffee from someone who is a veteran, who supports free speech, who supports this show.
00:41:08.000 It's like I say with my glasses guy.
00:41:10.000 When I was getting my new prescription, I found out he was MAGA.
00:41:13.000 And I just went, and he knows me and he knows the show.
00:41:15.000 I went, okay, I have my glasses guy forever.
00:41:18.000 My watch guy loves Trump.
00:41:20.000 I'm like, okay, I got my watch guy forever.
00:41:22.000 I'll get my watch repaired with him in a hundred years from now.
00:41:26.000 Once you find your people, you stick together, especially now that we're in an American divorce and half the country wants to break up with us.
00:41:35.000 Okay, bye. 0.99
00:41:36.000 Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out and don't think you're getting the kids because you're not. 0.99
00:41:44.000 And as we get back to when we 0.99
00:41:49.000 Leave and go behind the paywall.
00:41:50.000 We want you to know that we'll be doing much funner stuff than you've seen here.
00:41:54.000 There'll be much less gay references.
00:41:56.000 There will not be a 15-minute analogy that blows up in my face.
00:41:59.000 And I will not be getting ancient things like petards wrong.
00:42:03.000 So, uh... Whoa.
00:42:08.000 Why?
00:42:09.000 That blows your mind?
00:42:10.000 No.
00:42:11.000 Oh, boy.
00:42:13.000 What's going on?
00:42:14.000 Was this not recording?
00:42:15.000 Are we not broadcasting?
00:42:16.000 No, I got a very important text.
00:42:20.000 Oh, good.
00:42:20.000 Well, if you're tuning in, folks, for important news, make sure you watch Get Off My Lawn, where the engineer, I guess he is, will tell you about his personal life and talk about texts he receives.
00:42:31.000 I gotta go, because her water just broke.
00:42:38.000 Your wife's water just broke? 1.00
00:42:39.000 Yep.
00:42:40.000 Well, you can't go.
00:42:41.000 We gotta do another hour show.
00:42:42.000 I have to go.
00:42:44.000 No, you don't.
00:42:45.000 I literally have to go.
00:42:46.000 No, you literally don't.
00:42:48.000 I'm like, this is a very important moment.
00:42:51.000 I got to go.
00:42:51.000 Dude, when her water breaks, she has another five hours.
00:42:55.000 It's all about the contractions.
00:42:56.000 No, I got to go.
00:42:57.000 No, you don't.
00:42:58.000 I do.
00:42:59.000 We can finish the show.
00:43:00.000 Did she even ask you to go?
00:43:01.000 Sometimes they don't want you to.
00:43:02.000 Yeah.
00:43:03.000 I have to, I got to go.
00:43:04.000 I got to go.
00:43:05.000 Don't go.
00:43:07.000 Trust me.
00:43:08.000 It's going to be, the baby's not coming up for five hours.
00:43:10.000 We have one more hour to do.
00:43:12.000 You're making a huge mistake.
00:43:13.000 I'm nervous.
00:43:14.000 Yeah, that makes sense that you're nervous.
00:43:16.000 That's normal.
00:43:17.000 I don't think I can.
00:43:17.000 Calm down.
00:43:18.000 Call her and say, does she want you to go?
00:43:20.000 Let me just... I'll keep it recording.
00:43:25.000 I'll just keep it recording and then I'll... Dude, if you walk out of this door right now just because of some stupid baby bullshit, you're fired. 1.00
00:43:32.000 You're kidding me. 1.00
00:43:37.000 Dude, don't walk out the door.
00:43:39.000 We have another hour to go.
00:43:41.000 We ended it an hour early last time.
00:43:43.000 This is more important.
00:43:44.000 No, that was important last week.
00:43:46.000 Dude. 0.99
00:43:49.000 She'd kill me. 1.00
00:43:51.000 Death or fire. 1.00
00:43:52.000 Call her right now.
00:43:53.000 I promise you she's going to stay.
00:43:55.000 Wait.
00:43:55.000 Just hit the button when you're done and then we'll finish.