Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #126

00:00:14.000 I'm from New York!

00:00:35.000 I represent science hello folks.

00:00:40.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:00:42.000 We are here live Thursday night here.

00:00:44.000 Welcome to my co-stars, Maddie O'Dell, and a new co-star.

00:00:50.000 John is here, John Pierce.

00:00:54.000 He was portrayed as a mooch who raised two million, kept him in jail to raise $2 million.

00:01:04.000 Him and Linwood stole it and are living high on the hog.

00:01:11.000 And John, not to give any spoilers to our long interview, but what is the problem with that particular allegation?

00:01:19.000 Oh, you're asking me now, Kevin?

00:01:21.000 What?

00:01:21.000 You're asking me now?

00:01:22.000 I am asking you now.

00:01:24.000 Oh, with a $2 million bond?

00:01:25.000 Yeah, what's your problem with the contention that you and Linwood kept him in jail to raise money so you could get it up to $2 million pocket it?

00:01:37.000 Yeah, so the reality, and this is easily verifiable with public information, as everybody followed this, is that both Linwood and I worked ferociously hard over the course of three months to raise $2 million,

00:01:52.000 which is required in Wisconsin.

00:01:54.000 You need the entire $2 million cash bail.

00:01:56.000 It was certainly not easy to do.

00:01:58.000 We worked extremely hard to do it.

00:02:00.000 I was not part of the Fightback Foundation during that timeframe, so I don't have precise visibility into exactly what amounts were had at what point.

00:02:11.000 But I do know that the moment that Fightback had the $2 million for bail, they wired it to me on November 20th.

00:02:17.000 And on November 20th, I immediately then got the certified check and drove to Kenosha directly and bailed Kyle out.

00:02:25.000 So the notion that you guys were holding on to the money or holding on to the fund and raising money for him to get it up and up are false because the second you got 2 mil, you used it to bail him out?

00:02:39.000 Yeah, certainly as soon as I got the $2 million for bail, we immediately that day bailed him out.

00:02:45.000 Obviously, there were some costs that were ongoing with respect to investigator fees and attorneys' fees because there was work being done.

00:02:52.000 But as soon as there was $2 million that Fightback had available, as far as I'm aware, that was wired to me on November 20th.

00:03:01.000 And that very day, I drove to Kenosha and physically billed Kyle out.

00:03:05.000 And it was our sole mission in life.

00:03:08.000 I can tell you that because I lived through it.

00:03:12.000 I know it was Lynn's top priority.

00:03:15.000 And we did it as soon as humanly possible.

00:03:17.000 And it was actually one of the best and proudest moments of my professional career to see him reunited with his family.

00:03:25.000 So it was our sole mission in life at that point, and we moved as fast as humanly possible.

00:03:30.000 Ryan, I don't want, like where this camera is.

00:03:33.000 I told you to put it up on the side to do a wide, and you said, no, no, no.

00:03:37.000 Then we'll see profiles.

00:03:39.000 That's horrible.

00:03:40.000 I'll show you what it looked like.

00:03:41.000 Now Maddie looks like John's bitch.

00:03:44.000 Well, that is not the case.

00:03:46.000 But we're having my TriCaster is technical difficulties.

00:03:57.000 Dude, bad.

00:03:59.000 Dude, it's bad, man.

00:04:00.000 Dude, it's bad.

00:04:01.000 Yeah, it was.

00:04:02.000 Alright, so we're auto-playing some themes before, and it stopped.

00:04:07.000 But you can't see this, but every time I try to press a button, like this is supposed to be switching cameras, it doesn't.

00:04:13.000 So I'm clicking.

00:04:15.000 What do you mean you're clicking?

00:04:17.000 Click, I have to, instead of taking, which is like setting up a shot and going to it, I have to manually go to the shot.

00:04:23.000 So that's fine.

00:04:24.000 Should we just reboot the TriCaster?

00:04:26.000 I did it three times.

00:04:27.000 I restarted it.

00:04:28.000 I noticed something weird when we were filming John's thing.

00:04:31.000 It's a little tech behind the scenes, but I'm going to try to figure it out.

00:04:34.000 In the meantime, you wanted me to go wide.

00:04:36.000 I could show you what that might look like.

00:04:39.000 Okay, I'm ready.

00:04:43.000 Ryan is getting up and physically moving the camera.

00:04:50.000 I love it.

00:04:51.000 I like it.

00:04:52.000 Look, we can see censored there.

00:04:54.000 Once again, I was right.

00:04:57.000 And while you were setting it up, I said, what are you doing wrong right now?

00:05:03.000 I've got plenty of length.

00:05:04.000 Zoom out as much as you can.

00:05:06.000 That's zoomed out.

00:05:07.000 That's zoomed out?

00:05:08.000 100% zoomed out.

00:05:10.000 That's zoomed out 100%?

00:05:12.000 Yeah.

00:05:12.000 100%.

00:05:13.000 We can move back a little closer.

00:05:15.000 We can scooch.

00:05:16.000 Yeah, we just don't want to fall off.

00:05:18.000 What a cool shot that is.

00:05:19.000 We got censored.

00:05:21.000 And obviously, when the viewer sees Maddie and John looking at an angle, they know it's at me.

00:05:31.000 They know they're not staring away like a weird SNL sketch.

00:05:39.000 Yeah.

00:05:41.000 Maddie, can you remove that water bottle from the bar?

00:05:43.000 I don't like the aesthetics of water bottles.

00:05:46.000 Sure.

00:05:48.000 Can you print out the sponsors?

00:05:50.000 What are our sponsors?

00:05:52.000 Did Vince update that or did he fuck up again?

00:05:56.000 I'm the only qualified person at this company, by the way.

00:06:01.000 Without exception.

00:06:03.000 Let me just check my...

00:06:04.000 Here we go.

00:06:05.000 I'll just do it myself.

00:06:08.000 Our first sponsor, by the way, is, of course, Bubba and Hanks.

00:06:15.000 We'd like to thank Bubba and Hanks for being part of the show the last couple years.

00:06:18.000 Bubba passed away on Tuesday.

00:06:21.000 Holy shit.

00:06:24.000 Wow.

00:06:25.000 Bubba's been sick for a long time now.

00:06:29.000 Can you bring up Bubba and Hanks in the background, please?

00:06:31.000 Yep.

00:06:33.000 And we were praying for him, but prayer only does so much.

00:06:37.000 And he has passed away from cancer.

00:06:41.000 Guys, if you can find in your heart to get some Bubba and Hanks for Christmas, I'd be happy to show the farm some love.

00:06:46.000 Andrew Bubba Fries was a great man, a veteran and an American badass.

00:06:52.000 And he never gave a shit about what the news printed about us.

00:06:56.000 He stuck with us through thick and thin, cancellations being deplatformed.

00:07:00.000 Bubba stuck around like a trooper.

00:07:02.000 Outside of the integrity and loyalty Bubba showed us, I have to say, Bubba's main focus was raising great beef, and he loved being part of the censored.tv platform.

00:07:13.000 He was an unabashed conservative, and for that, Bubba earns our endless respect.

00:07:17.000 Thanks for love and support, Bubs.

00:07:19.000 Sleep in heaven.

00:07:20.000 Peace.

00:07:22.000 Support the Bubba and Hanks farm this Christmas.

00:07:24.000 BubbaNHanks.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.

00:07:29.000 That is BubbinHanks.com, promo code Gavin.

00:07:32.000 Thank you for your support, Bubs.

00:07:34.000 You are one of the good ones.

00:07:35.000 Give Jesus a fist pump for us and all the listeners.

00:07:38.000 Rest in peace, brother.

00:07:39.000 God bless America.

00:07:41.000 Wow, that's heavy.

00:07:43.000 You know, when someone is sick with cancer, you always have this sort of self-denial where you go, it's not that bad.

00:07:50.000 They might have a second run.

00:07:52.000 I think empathy becomes overwhelming and you just, you sort of block it out of your own mind.

00:07:58.000 And you say, that person I know and I love who's been part of this company since day one is not going to die.

00:08:06.000 And then they die.

00:08:08.000 And you go, wow, I guess this was real.

00:08:10.000 He really does have cancer.

00:08:12.000 It really was terminal.

00:08:13.000 Our ad guy was very close to him, too.

00:08:14.000 So, I mean.

00:08:16.000 He went out there to visit him.

00:08:18.000 Yeah, he kept giving me updates.

00:08:20.000 And they were just getting worse and worse.

00:08:22.000 And, you know, now there's no suffering there, but it's still very sad.

00:08:28.000 What do you mean there's no suffering there?

00:08:29.000 There's no suffering anymore.

00:08:30.000 He's suffering.

00:08:31.000 He was losing a lot of weight.

00:08:32.000 He was like 60 pounds at one point.

00:08:35.000 He was 60 pounds?

00:08:36.000 Yeah.

00:08:38.000 Are you sure?

00:08:39.000 I asked him three times.

00:08:40.000 I was like, 60?

00:08:42.000 He's like, yeah, 6-0.

00:08:44.000 6-0 pounds?

00:08:45.000 Correct.

00:08:47.000 Wow.

00:08:49.000 So Bubba has passed on, but the beef remains, and it is one of the greatest places to buy steak.

00:08:55.000 You can have it delivered to your door.

00:08:57.000 It arrives in these coolers.

00:09:00.000 I actually hold on to the coolers because they're pretty handy.

00:09:04.000 I keep my beer in them on the back porch.

00:09:09.000 But yeah, it comes in this cooler with dry ice in it.

00:09:12.000 Everything is intact.

00:09:13.000 Maddie's a big fan.

00:09:15.000 We've had the burgers, the ribs, the ribeye, the sirloin.

00:09:20.000 It is incredible quality.

00:09:23.000 And I guess it's Hanks.com now.

00:09:27.000 What a shock.

00:09:28.000 Sad news.

00:09:30.000 Sad news.

00:09:32.000 We're getting to that age where people are starting to die.

00:09:36.000 Ryan's adjusting things.

00:09:38.000 Still trying to figure out what to do.

00:09:41.000 I guess that's one of the downers of showing up at 8 o'clock.

00:09:46.000 Thank God his hair is still here to amuse us all, though.

00:09:50.000 If you didn't have that hairdo, I'd be so annoyed right now.

00:09:54.000 But it just brings so much joy to my life to look over at you and see that if I had hired someone to give you the worst possible hairdo I can imagine in order to amuse me the most, I would say, can you make him look like a weird Puerto Rican ninja with a sole patch and a pinhead with retard bangs?

00:10:16.000 I don't think that's very funny.

00:10:17.000 And the guy who I hired would say, okay, Mr. Gavin, I'll do my best, but it's going to take a long time.

00:10:26.000 Can you just show people your profile?

00:10:28.000 Take your headphones off.

00:10:30.000 This is the last time I'm doing this.

00:10:31.000 Wait, wait.

00:10:32.000 Move back.

00:10:33.000 We got black in the way with tactical walls, tactical Tim.

00:10:38.000 No, no, back.

00:10:39.000 Go back towards...

00:10:40.000 Backwards means towards your back.

00:10:42.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:10:43.000 Yeah, there.

00:10:44.000 No, lean a little bit forward.

00:10:46.000 There we go.

00:10:48.000 Look at that hat.

00:10:51.000 It's a weird Peruvian minor hat.

00:10:54.000 Like you live in Peru.

00:10:57.000 You're a weird Aboriginal from Peru.

00:10:59.000 This is cool, though.

00:11:01.000 Yeah, you're like a hot Peruvian model.

00:11:05.000 You're like the guy, you know, they wear those funny little bowler hats?

00:11:09.000 No, not from Peru.

00:11:10.000 You're like their legal liaison.

00:11:13.000 You're the guy they talk to because there's land rights claims because coal miners, they found a place in Peru that's amongst the Aboriginals that has a lot of iron ore.

00:11:24.000 And they have to go through a lawyer.

00:11:26.000 He's their go-to guy because his mother's mother was an Abbo.

00:11:33.000 This is far too specific.

00:11:35.000 I don't know where you're getting this.

00:11:36.000 That's what you look like.

00:11:37.000 I don't think I do.

00:11:38.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with naming what someone looks like specifically.

00:11:45.000 I moved the clock here.

00:11:47.000 Let me move it back.

00:11:51.000 Are you going to puke now?

00:11:53.000 What?

00:11:53.000 Are you puking?

00:11:55.000 No, dude.

00:11:56.000 I had some serious puking going on.

00:11:59.000 I don't know if everyone saw this, but I did iHypocrites show, and Gazzi Kadzo was bleathering on.

00:12:06.000 So much so, by the way, I thought we should give him a show.

00:12:09.000 That would be amazing.

00:12:11.000 I think it's time Gazzi joined the network.

00:12:13.000 Uhuru!

00:12:14.000 Aquava y'all!

00:12:17.000 And he was talking so incessantly, and there's a stomach virus going around my home.

00:12:22.000 My wife had it, my daughter had it.

00:12:24.000 And I drank a beer, and I don't know if you ever drank a beer where it feels like you chugged 300 beers.

00:12:31.000 Like it has three times gravity on it?

00:12:33.000 Yeah, like Maggie takes this medication that makes his stomach go, I've had enough.

00:12:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:39.000 And he can't fit like a raisin in his mouth.

00:12:43.000 What's that medication called?

00:12:44.000 Ozempic.

00:12:45.000 Ozempic.

00:12:47.000 So I felt like I was on Ozempic.

00:12:49.000 And he's like, like honestly, two minutes of diatribe.

00:12:54.000 And I was like, I don't.

00:12:57.000 So I said, I have a virus.

00:12:59.000 And I stood up here and just laced this whole half of the studio with projectile vomit.

00:13:04.000 I'm fucking killing myself for not puking at the camera.

00:13:09.000 Historically, most low approval rates won't.

00:13:13.000 I've got a virus coming out your ass.

00:13:25.000 Kamala, is that you?

00:13:28.000 Oh, man.

00:13:30.000 Wait, I just want to say that.

00:13:32.000 I wanted to ask you something else here.

00:13:33.000 We're not going to go too much longer.

00:13:36.000 Isn't it weird the guy just jumped to the next question?

00:13:40.000 Like, he should have said, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:13:43.000 What just happened?

00:13:45.000 I barfed.

00:13:45.000 I got a virus.

00:13:47.000 Not a lot of empathy there.

00:13:49.000 And then I barfed all night.

00:13:50.000 And there is nothing worse, to quote Lena Dunham, than the 10 seconds before you barf.

00:13:58.000 You're decisively committed at that point.

00:14:00.000 It's out of your hands.

00:14:01.000 And I have a theory, because my wife and daughter had it.

00:14:05.000 I think women are better at handling those kind of stomach viruses because, and probably due to childbirth genetically, they can handle like, this is out of my hands, having a barf session.

00:14:19.000 There's no question about that.

00:14:21.000 There's no question that they handle it better.

00:14:23.000 Like with childbirth, they're just like, here we go.

00:14:27.000 We're going on a horrible roller coaster ride, but it leads to a baby.

00:14:32.000 And childbirth isn't like a bad thing and then it comes out.

00:14:36.000 It's like contraction after contraction after contraction.

00:14:40.000 And they just sit there and take it.

00:14:43.000 But men, they're usually in control of their surroundings.

00:14:47.000 So we go, no, no, I'm not.

00:14:49.000 Like if someone was slapping you in the face, you'd go like, fuck you, and grab his wrist or whatever.

00:14:53.000 But women get slapped in the face, you know, if it's a big guy, she might be like, oh, this sucks.

00:14:58.000 So we've been trained to handle our problems.

00:15:02.000 So we're lying there.

00:15:03.000 We feel the specter of puke coming like 40 minutes before.

00:15:08.000 And he's like, I'm coming for you, bitch.

00:15:10.000 And you go, no, you're not.

00:15:12.000 I'm training my brain to fight you.

00:15:15.000 And he's like, okay, go bananas.

00:15:18.000 I'm coming.

00:15:18.000 You're going to be puking in 25 minutes.

00:15:22.000 And you go, no, I'm not.

00:15:23.000 No, I'm not.

00:15:26.000 And then like 20 minutes in, you're like, wow, this guy on the horse is getting real close.

00:15:34.000 I set up a bunch of barricades and a deep moat.

00:15:38.000 His horse hopped over that.

00:15:40.000 And he's still coming.

00:15:42.000 And you're like, I'm actually going to be the first guy in history who stopped you on your horse.

00:15:51.000 You turn around and you go away.

00:15:56.000 And he's like, why would I turn around?

00:15:59.000 You have a stomach virus.

00:16:01.000 You're barfing.

00:16:02.000 And you're like, no, I'm not, actually.

00:16:04.000 I'm the first to break the mold.

00:16:08.000 I'm the non-barfer in history.

00:16:11.000 The first non-barfer in the world to stand up to you.

00:16:15.000 Turn around and walk away.

00:16:18.000 And then it gets to like 12 minutes before the barf, and you're looking at the horse.

00:16:25.000 I mean, you can smell his breath.

00:16:27.000 And you go, I'm still fighting you, but I'm getting a little insecure about our fate.

00:16:34.000 And then there's that like six minutes where you go, just on the off chance that you're winning, I'm going to go to the toilet because I don't want to puke on everyone, but I still could turn this around.

00:16:50.000 It's not set in stone here.

00:16:53.000 And then there's those four minutes where you're sitting cross-legged on some towels because the tile's too cold.

00:17:00.000 And there's the toilet and you're like, yeah, I didn't beat the horse.

00:17:06.000 He's here.

00:17:09.000 Those fucking two minutes.

00:17:12.000 Your mouth starts salivating.

00:17:16.000 Like, what's hell if it's not that?

00:17:20.000 That's terrible.

00:17:21.000 And I think for males, it is much more difficult.

00:17:26.000 And it's like an emotional experience, too.

00:17:28.000 I mean, it's just terrible.

00:17:29.000 You failed.

00:17:30.000 You failed to fight this horseback monster.

00:17:34.000 And then there's a and then after the first one, you know you don't feel good.

00:17:46.000 That means there's three more.

00:17:49.000 You can tell what the last one is.

00:17:50.000 The last one is euphoria.

00:17:52.000 We're out of this.

00:17:53.000 You're done.

00:17:53.000 Your contraction.

00:17:55.000 You're good for the next one.

00:17:57.000 But after the first two, you still feel like shit and you're like, I have nothing to puke, but dude, I'm David Beckham.

00:18:10.000 I have a fucking six-pack.

00:18:13.000 It actually hurts when I cough because I'm so fucking shredded from the night.

00:18:20.000 Oh, Jesus, which reminds me of Tactical Walls, a fantastic way to display your armaments.

00:18:26.000 Christmas is here, and you need Tactical in your house.

00:18:30.000 Seriously.

00:18:31.000 Tactical Tim makes the greatest tactical hiding gear in the world, and we are blessed to have Tactical Walls sponsoring the show.

00:18:36.000 Treat yourself and your loved ones with some badass gear from Tactical Walls this Christmas.

00:18:41.000 I should note that the ad copy guy made the S's in badass dollar signs.

00:18:48.000 I guess they have good resale value.

00:18:51.000 Love Christmas.

00:18:52.000 I gave you my heart.

00:18:53.000 It's a thing of the past.

00:18:54.000 This Christmas, I'm giving you a tactical wall.

00:18:57.000 It's the future.

00:18:58.000 Jesus.

00:18:59.000 Go to tacticalwalls.com and use promo code Gavin for 20% off.

00:19:03.000 Tactical Walls supports G-O-M-L, and they are friends of ours.

00:19:07.000 If you're trying to conceal the extra hardware in the house, you need Tactical Walls, TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin for 20% off.

00:19:14.000 I remember when I sold my old apartment in New York City, the people who bought it knew who I was, and they go, are there any weapons in the house?

00:19:22.000 Okay, fine.

00:19:23.000 Yes.

00:19:24.000 If you double-click on this panel on the wall, nine handguns appear magically, Which, for some reason, I'm willing to just give to the home.

00:19:34.000 What's nine times five?

00:19:35.000 Fucking $4,500 worth of guns I just left there?

00:19:40.000 No, there are no guns hidden in the walls, you fucking liberal pussies.

00:19:46.000 But in your home today, you can have guns hidden in the walls.

00:19:50.000 You can have guns hidden in tissue boxes, in shelves, in mirrors, everywhere in your home.

00:19:57.000 You can be tactically armed in your own home with tacticalwalls.com with a vet-owned American-made company built here in the US of A. If you're lucky enough to live in a state that's not New York and you can have all the guns you want,

00:20:14.000 you need Tactical Walls to show off your freedom.

00:20:18.000 Thanks, Tactical Walls.

00:20:21.000 I'm going to come.

00:20:22.000 All right, so because we have a famous guest on the show, Matty Odell and his friend John, we should take calls early, I think, this month, this week.

00:20:36.000 But what we're going to do is we're going to go behind the paywall now and say goodbye to the freeloaders who are too cheap to pay the $10 a month to be on censored.tv.

00:20:47.000 And we are going to speak to the people out there who do pay $10 a month.

00:20:55.000 Let me turn on my mic here.

00:20:57.000 And we'll be taking calls, I presume, will be mostly censored around our new guest, John Pierce,

00:21:12.000 who has been completely vilified by his old pal, Kyle Rittenhouse, on the show Tucker Carlson tonight.

00:21:22.000 So yeah, goodbye, freeloaders.

00:21:24.000 We're leaving the free part of the show.

00:21:27.000 And hello, subscribers.

00:21:28.000 Let's enjoy ourselves.

00:21:30.000 And for both subscribers and non-subscribers, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:21:48.000 That's what I've been doing for the last 50 years.

00:22:07.000 I represent science.

00:22:08.000 That's dangerous.

00:22:10.000 You're attacking science.

00:22:11.000 I'm random.

00:22:13.000 You are doing something detrimental to society.

00:22:15.000 You are attacking science.

00:22:17.000 I represent science.

00:22:29.000 I mean, I know a lot of Italians from Brooklyn and the Bronx.

00:22:33.000 We call them zips.

00:22:35.000 The etymology of zip is Sicilians talk so fast that it sounded like they were zipping along.

00:22:41.000 So they got the, I guess, racist nomenclature zip.

00:22:46.000 But I don't know any Italians that talk like Dr. Fauci.

00:22:51.000 Hello, what are you doing?

00:22:53.000 They sound like Woody Allen.

00:22:56.000 It's so didactic.

00:23:00.000 Who the fuck talks like that that's not a 90-year-old Jewish woman?

00:23:05.000 What is that accent he has?

00:23:08.000 Oh, it's Brooklyn.

00:23:09.000 It's Bedsty.

00:23:10.000 Yeah, I'm familiar with Brooklyn.

00:23:12.000 I lived in New York for over 20 years.

00:23:14.000 That's a very unique accent.

00:23:18.000 I feel like his Italian buddies are like, dude, what the fuck's going on with you?

00:23:22.000 You sound like Ethel Merman.

00:23:25.000 Anyway, I guess we should do the interstitial for thanks for calling, right?

00:23:31.000 We're not doing any mailbags.

00:23:33.000 This won't give anybody PTSD because it played on a loop at one time.

00:23:37.000 You were on the air.

00:23:39.000 Mute have a conversation.

00:23:40.000 This is a fucking loser.

00:23:42.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.

00:23:46.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

00:23:48.000 You have one thing.

00:23:49.000 Thank you for calling.

00:23:50.000 It was great hearing from you.

00:23:51.000 Bye-bye.

00:23:52.000 All right, next call.

00:23:54.000 I love that band.

00:23:56.000 What is that band?

00:23:58.000 Bands just stop trying to be original.

00:24:00.000 You're not going to write satisfaction.

00:24:02.000 Just give up.

00:24:03.000 Make like schmaltzy, okay, Sunday morning music like that.

00:24:08.000 Give up on trying to blow our minds.

00:24:12.000 There's too many songs.

00:24:15.000 Let's start taking some calls, Ryan.

00:24:17.000 Sounds about right.

00:24:18.000 With broken machinery.

00:24:19.000 Yeah, I'm actually very bummed and concerned.

00:24:23.000 No, you should be like fucking Scotty and Star Trek.

00:24:26.000 You're trying to make things happen.

00:24:27.000 Oh, yeah, no.

00:24:27.000 In between anything happening, I'm like trying to figure out...

00:24:30.000 Well, first I'm trying to figure out little shortcuts in case it doesn't come back.

00:24:35.000 Oh man, I'm working and working.

00:24:38.000 Let's see if we got 573 on the line.

00:24:41.000 This guy's name is John.

00:24:45.000 Hold on a second.

00:24:46.000 He's listening to the show.

00:24:50.000 John, can you hear us?

00:24:53.000 Turn off your radio, John.

00:24:56.000 Can anyone believe how awesome my suit is, by the way?

00:24:59.000 Look at this.

00:25:00.000 This is my Nita Fashion suit.

00:25:04.000 Look at my lining.

00:25:04.000 Wow.

00:25:06.000 That's the first time I'm seeing that.

00:25:07.000 It's like geisha girls.

00:25:09.000 Yeah.

00:25:09.000 That kind of takes away from the James Bondness of it.

00:25:12.000 Is that me?

00:25:13.000 No one sees that.

00:25:14.000 Yes, it's you.

00:25:15.000 Hi.

00:25:17.000 Oh.

00:25:18.000 Hello.

00:25:19.000 Hey, hello.

00:25:20.000 Is that me?

00:25:21.000 I just want to know when the marathon show is a week tomorrow.

00:25:28.000 I need to take the day off.

00:25:29.000 Yeah, a week tomorrow.

00:25:30.000 Thanks for calling.

00:25:32.000 That'll be a week tomorrow evening.

00:25:35.000 I mean, I say like 48 hours.

00:25:38.000 I think I'll go from like 8 p.m. till 8 a.m.

00:25:41.000 I think it'll be 12.

00:25:43.000 12 feels solid.

00:25:44.000 Like you could do a solid.

00:25:46.000 Someone stayed up all night.

00:25:48.000 That's impressive.

00:25:49.000 You tune in at 6 a.m.

00:25:50.000 He's still there.

00:25:51.000 Plus, my buddy Ryan, who owns my boxing gym, is turning 50 and I got to roast him that day.

00:25:58.000 There's only so much meth in the world.

00:26:01.000 Only so much Bobby P. Arthur Kwan Lee invited us to his art thing on the 18th, unfortunately.

00:26:09.000 We're going to be dead by then.

00:26:11.000 It's the 17th we're doing it?

00:26:13.000 Yes.

00:26:14.000 Yeah.

00:26:14.000 17th and 18th.

00:26:15.000 So the 18th week.

00:26:16.000 Did you know Arthur Kwan Lee is an MMA guy?

00:26:19.000 Well, I know he's ripped.

00:26:20.000 I want to work out with him.

00:26:21.000 We're going to set it up.

00:26:23.000 I'm going to learn some of his tricks.

00:26:24.000 I'm saying that about a man.

00:26:27.000 Hey, I met John Pierce.

00:26:28.000 I can't wait to work out with him.

00:26:31.000 It's different for Asian.

00:26:32.000 Like, why would that occur to you?

00:26:34.000 Because we're trying to gather information for one another.

00:26:36.000 Oh, I had a really good dinner with John Pierce.

00:26:38.000 We're probably going to work out later.

00:26:41.000 What?

00:26:42.000 You're going to shit together too?

00:26:44.000 It's like drinking but healthy.

00:26:46.000 I'm going to get a colonoscopy with John Pierce.

00:26:48.000 We had a good dinner.

00:26:49.000 It's not like a colonoscopy.

00:26:50.000 Yes, it is.

00:26:51.000 Working out is like a private health thing.

00:26:54.000 No, it's not.

00:26:54.000 It's like having your foreskin washed.

00:26:57.000 It's like boxing without contact.

00:26:59.000 608, you're on the line.

00:27:01.000 Hi, it's going.

00:27:03.000 Hi.

00:27:06.000 So you, I've heard you say that, like, if aliens existed, you wouldn't believe in God.

00:27:12.000 I was just kind of curious about that.

00:27:13.000 Like, why the fuck would it matter if aliens exist?

00:27:16.000 Like, God doesn't exist, you know?

00:27:18.000 Do you believe in God?

00:27:20.000 Yes.

00:27:21.000 Are you a Christian?

00:27:23.000 Yes.

00:27:24.000 So we have to be the most important thing in his book.

00:27:30.000 We have to be the center of his universe.

00:27:33.000 He is the most important thing in his book.

00:27:35.000 Okay, but why did he make other creatures that supersede us?

00:27:41.000 We are in his image.

00:27:44.000 That's true, but like, how would an alien supersede us?

00:27:49.000 You know what I mean?

00:27:50.000 Just the existence of aliens.

00:27:51.000 Well, he's clearly capable of traveling thousands of light years and finding us.

00:27:56.000 So he's more technologically advanced.

00:27:59.000 He's more intelligent.

00:28:00.000 He's better.

00:28:01.000 If you can get to me, you're better.

00:28:05.000 Well, I don't know.

00:28:06.000 I just don't see any biblical scripture to back that idea up.

00:28:11.000 I didn't think they didn't think it was going to come up.

00:28:14.000 It shouldn't come up.

00:28:15.000 But anyway, thanks for calling.

00:28:16.000 We'll discuss it with the group.

00:28:18.000 John, what do you think?

00:28:19.000 Oh, Dr. Fauci's here.

00:28:21.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:22.000 Scientifically, there's no reason to find that there's been extraterrestrials hiding around the universe, as it were.

00:28:32.000 And I'm an expert on all sciences, and so I can provide you with questions if you've got any answers.

00:28:43.000 Okay.

00:28:44.000 John, you're a Christian, right?

00:28:46.000 Yes, I am.

00:28:47.000 You're a weird Christian.

00:28:48.000 You're like an Orthodox Serb or something?

00:28:49.000 I'm a Serbian Orthodox Christian, Eastern Orthodox Christian.

00:28:52.000 What the fuck is that?

00:28:53.000 Is that like the long white beards with the funny hats?

00:28:55.000 You got it.

00:28:56.000 You got it.

00:28:57.000 Okay, so this is my personal belief is if there was proof of alien life, that means that we're second best, and that means that God doesn't exist, and Christianity is a lie.

00:29:10.000 I tend to agree.

00:29:10.000 I agree with you.

00:29:11.000 Yeah, I mean, we are made in the image of God.

00:29:14.000 And, you know, just from a revelation standpoint, you know, the world that he created for us is so sort of magically, perfectly suited for our existence that, you know, I think that we're number one in his book.

00:29:27.000 And I can't, I don't, I mean, I personally don't think that there's other life in the universe myself.

00:29:32.000 What do you think, Maddie?

00:29:34.000 Are you a Christian?

00:29:35.000 I don't even know.

00:29:36.000 But I was born and raised Roman Catholic.

00:29:38.000 But today, 2021.

00:29:41.000 Hmm.

00:29:42.000 I'm not really a religious practicing person.

00:29:47.000 I mean...

00:29:47.000 Do you believe in God?

00:29:49.000 Yeah.

00:29:50.000 I mean, I would always fall back on my Roman Catholic upbringing.

00:29:54.000 I mean, there's not everything I agree with how the Roman Catholic Church operates.

00:29:59.000 But do you believe you go somewhere when you die?

00:30:03.000 Yeah, there's got to be something.

00:30:06.000 Yeah.

00:30:06.000 Because I believe in ghosts.

00:30:08.000 Ghosts?

00:30:09.000 Yeah.

00:30:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:12.000 You may experience.

00:30:13.000 Wait, have you ever seen ghosts?

00:30:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:16.000 Hold on.

00:30:16.000 Stop the presses.

00:30:17.000 This is record scratch.

00:30:18.000 You believe in ghosts?

00:30:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:22.000 100%.

00:30:23.000 I ask everybody I know from time to time.

00:30:25.000 My childhood house I grew up in was haunted.

00:30:28.000 Why would anyone bother hanging around Earth when they've touched the afterlife?

00:30:33.000 Well, they're stuck in purgatory.

00:30:35.000 Unfinished.

00:30:36.000 So what are your ghost experiences that we don't know about?

00:30:39.000 There used to be an old lady that used to go around my house, my childhood home, yeah.

00:30:42.000 And what'd she say, like, what's up, man?

00:30:44.000 She was like, you would see her.

00:30:46.000 You would, you know, she would do things.

00:30:48.000 Like what?

00:30:49.000 She'd poke her head around corners.

00:30:51.000 You know, you're in the house alone by yourself.

00:30:53.000 Who the hell's in the house with you?

00:30:55.000 She'd make noises.

00:30:57.000 My brother had a drum set in the attic.

00:30:59.000 Like the drum would start banging.

00:31:01.000 Nobody's home.

00:31:02.000 This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

00:31:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:05.000 All sorts of stuff.

00:31:06.000 Why is this coming out now?

00:31:07.000 I've known you for years.

00:31:09.000 Oh, you never asked me if I believed in ghosts.

00:31:11.000 You never asked me if an old lady was banging drums from the grave in my attic.

00:31:16.000 Supposedly she died in the house.

00:31:17.000 Her husband built the house.

00:31:20.000 I mean, she was just there.

00:31:24.000 She would go missing and then show up again.

00:31:26.000 All sorts of things.

00:31:27.000 Why would she be in purgatory?

00:31:29.000 I don't know.

00:31:30.000 Wait a minute.

00:31:31.000 I never had a conversation with her.

00:31:32.000 Ryan, what's that view you just showed?

00:31:35.000 This is the wide.

00:31:36.000 I thought you were zoomed out as much as you could be zoomed out.

00:31:38.000 No, it is, but I fit them in this box so we could see you in that.

00:31:42.000 Yeah, the half screen.

00:31:43.000 Especially when I'm clicking slow today.

00:31:44.000 I see.

00:31:45.000 Okay.

00:31:47.000 But my understanding with purgatory, not that I believe in it for one iota, is that something bad happened, like the guy who killed you didn't get prosecuted or there's some sort of unfinished business.

00:32:02.000 I mean, I'm not like a paranormal investigator or anything.

00:32:05.000 I don't know much on the topic.

00:32:07.000 But you should be if you grew up with a girl.

00:32:09.000 My ghost.

00:32:09.000 I can only tell you what I've seen and experienced.

00:32:11.000 You should look into it.

00:32:13.000 Surely if you grew up with a ghost, that's like your fucking stepsister at this point.

00:32:18.000 Yeah.

00:32:18.000 You should be like reading 100 books on it.

00:32:21.000 Yeah.

00:32:22.000 And it was funny.

00:32:23.000 Like after my brother brought my family home and he literally gutted it from attic to basement.

00:32:31.000 And I was, whenever I would go to his house, I would like say to his wife or him, I'd be like, so you got to tell me one thing.

00:32:38.000 Is the ghost still fucking here?

00:32:40.000 And his wife used to be like, I'm not discussing it.

00:32:44.000 So, I was like, I'll take that as a yes.

00:32:46.000 Oh, my God.

00:32:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:48.000 This is like John going, Yeah, well, I went through some rough stuff because my adoption.

00:32:54.000 No, like, all right, oh, that must have sucked.

00:32:57.000 When did you get adopted, John?

00:32:58.000 14, 15?

00:33:00.000 He's like, No, zero.

00:33:02.000 No, that's totally true that there are issues with adoptees regardless of when they're adopted.

00:33:08.000 I'm going to send you a book.

00:33:09.000 It's called The Primal Wound.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, you sent me a book written by a woman.

00:33:13.000 I'm not interested.

00:33:15.000 There are zero, zero separation problems with someone who hands over a fucking baby.

00:33:23.000 I mean, I'm sure there's some genetic niceties that happen when it's your real biological parents.

00:33:28.000 But for the most part, you hand a baby to someone, they raise it with love and care.

00:33:33.000 That's their baby.

00:33:35.000 There's nothing going on.

00:33:36.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:33:37.000 Separation anxiety?

00:33:39.000 They call it attachment disorder.

00:33:40.000 It's like the mad name character in Goodwill Hunting is what's going on.

00:33:43.000 John, when I was supposed to pick up John to do the show, and I was 10 minutes late, he was blubbering, sobbing.

00:33:49.000 And I was like, John, John, I'm sorry.

00:33:51.000 I was 10 minutes late.

00:33:52.000 And he's like, you don't understand.

00:33:54.000 I was adopted.

00:33:58.000 You don't know the anxiety.

00:34:00.000 So I don't believe in ghosts, Maddie, and I don't believe in separation anxiety.

00:34:06.000 What do you call it, John?

00:34:07.000 Attachment disorder.

00:34:09.000 What?

00:34:09.000 Attachment disorder.

00:34:10.000 Attachment disorder.

00:34:11.000 It's a Mad Demon character in Goodwill Hunting Hat.

00:34:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:16.000 Sorry, I didn't know there was a real-life example of this.

00:34:18.000 It's an actual thing.

00:34:20.000 I promise you.

00:34:22.000 It's called Batman Disorder.

00:34:25.000 Bruce Wayne played him in the movie Batman.

00:34:29.000 What was called a primal wound?

00:34:30.000 I'm going to send it to you.

00:34:33.000 It will go straight in the garbage.

00:34:36.000 Please address it to garbage.

00:34:39.000 South Bronx, get off my lawn studio.

00:34:42.000 The next episode of Sesame Street, Oscar the Grouch is going to start talking about separation anxiety because it landed in his garbage can.

00:34:51.000 Scientifically, that's a funny joke.

00:34:53.000 His attachment to this word.

00:34:55.000 Hey, Dr. Fauci, why do you have a chink retard hat on?

00:34:59.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

00:35:01.000 Scientifically.

00:35:02.000 Look at your hair sprout out from the back of your headphones.

00:35:06.000 This is actually a weird Puerto Rican alfalfa sprout.

00:35:10.000 I'm not Puerto Rican at all.

00:35:12.000 What is going on back there?

00:35:14.000 Are you a local farmer?

00:35:16.000 Is that sustenance farming?

00:35:18.000 Science farming.

00:35:19.000 From head to table?

00:35:20.000 This is a haircut that acts as someone as a Rorschach.

00:35:24.000 God, what were you thinking?

00:35:25.000 Anybody who did this about an inch and a half high like that.

00:35:30.000 They're mostly homosexuals see this haircut as funny and weird.

00:35:34.000 It's a Rorschach, girl.

00:35:35.000 Okay.

00:35:36.000 It's a gay.

00:35:36.000 Go ahead and fucking move me to the West Village because I'm laughing my ass.

00:35:41.000 We have a camp there in the West Village, and we're going to hoid all the holy.

00:35:46.000 Fauci was like a weird pussy Italian who the Italians in his neighborhood rejected and he was sort of like Tarzan but raised by Jews.

00:35:57.000 Because that accent does not comp that does not compute.

00:36:04.000 Hello, I'm an Italian from the Brooklyn.

00:36:10.000 What?

00:36:13.000 We've all met a million Italians from Brooklyn.

00:36:16.000 Zero of them talk like Woody Allen.

00:36:19.000 All right, let's take another call.

00:36:22.000 You can tell I'm going to be dragging you out every call to at least 20 minutes of conversation.

00:36:27.000 Ruben, it's Alex.

00:36:29.000 Hey.

00:36:30.000 Are you still thinking about moving to South?

00:36:33.000 What?

00:36:34.000 Are you still thinking about moving down to China?

00:36:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:37.000 No, that's happening.

00:36:37.000 The question is when?

00:36:39.000 Whether it's in eight months or 18 months?

00:36:43.000 Well, no offense.

00:36:44.000 I'm a little worried you might be one of them immigrates, man.

00:36:47.000 Like, you got any interest in southern culture?

00:36:50.000 I got a book to suggest to maybe get you in the flavor for the move, you know?

00:36:55.000 Okay, as long as the book doesn't involve the trauma of adoption, I'm all into it.

00:36:59.000 What's the book called?

00:37:01.000 It's called Jack Hanson's One Man's Army.

00:37:05.000 And this dude was neutral in the Civil War until his boys got butchered and they brought home their heads to daddy.

00:37:13.000 And then daddy has a real nice rifle made and goes and gets all kinds of revenge.

00:37:19.000 It's a true story.

00:37:21.000 Yeah, that sounds great.

00:37:22.000 I love that.

00:37:22.000 That's how I feel about the Civil War.

00:37:24.000 It was not about slavery.

00:37:26.000 It was about the South saying, yeah, I'm not doing anything that you tell me to do.

00:37:30.000 I don't care what it is.

00:37:32.000 Could be brush your teeth two times a day.

00:37:34.000 You don't tell me what you do.

00:37:36.000 Absolutely.

00:37:37.000 This guy was personal friends with Ulysses S. Grant.

00:37:40.000 He was completely neutral.

00:37:42.000 His boys were out hunting one day and got accused of bushwhacking.

00:37:46.000 And they gave him a drumhead trial and executed him on the spot.

00:37:50.000 And he had a nice gun made, and he was taking out dudes at 1,200 yards in the Civil War.

00:37:56.000 It's pretty amazing.

00:37:58.000 What's bushwhacking?

00:38:01.000 Well, modern day would be like sniping.

00:38:04.000 But back in the day, you know, war was more of a gentleman's pursuit, and that was kind of frowned upon.

00:38:09.000 But they were out.

00:38:10.000 My story has it, they're out squirrel hunting or deer hunting or they weren't bushwhacking.

00:38:16.000 So bushwhacking is being a sniper in the woods during a war and shooting the enemy from the trees.

00:38:22.000 Yeah, because they're trying to liken it to like thieves robbing you on the road.

00:38:25.000 It's not an honorable pursuit.

00:38:27.000 You got to line up and shoot at each other.

00:38:29.000 It's no honor in it.

00:38:31.000 Well, it was an honorable pursuit when we used it to defeat the British.

00:38:35.000 Yeah.

00:38:38.000 Okay.

00:38:38.000 Whatever works.

00:38:40.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

00:38:41.000 That's a good tip.

00:38:46.000 Yeah, I can say it's one-man arm.

00:38:48.000 Yeah, we put it up on the screen.

00:38:49.000 It's actually one-man war.

00:38:50.000 Thanks.

00:38:51.000 I want to open a bar in the south called Escape from New York.

00:38:56.000 E-F-N-Y will be the name of the bar.

00:39:00.000 I'm very excited about it.

00:39:02.000 All right, next call.

00:39:04.000 All right, we got.

00:39:06.000 Thanks for calling.

00:39:08.000 435.

00:39:08.000 Doesn't anyone have any calls for John Pierce?

00:39:10.000 We have a celebrity here.

00:39:11.000 Hey, come on, you're fucking.

00:39:12.000 What is he, chop liver?

00:39:14.000 What is he?

00:39:15.000 The part of the body that filters the blood, diced into small pieces?

00:39:18.000 Okay, we get it.

00:39:22.000 3435, you're on the line.

00:39:29.000 Maybe you have to say hello to them?

00:39:32.000 Thanks for calling.

00:39:34.000 Hello.

00:39:35.000 Hey, are you there?

00:39:36.000 Yeah.

00:39:38.000 It is Ryan.

00:39:40.000 Okay.

00:39:41.000 Hey, let's try to move forward.

00:39:46.000 Hello?

00:39:47.000 Continue, sir.

00:39:50.000 Let's go, shithead.

00:39:54.000 All right, thanks for calling.

00:39:56.000 That was great.

00:39:57.000 Next caller.

00:39:59.000 That was not very good.

00:40:02.000 This is Uncle 614.

00:40:06.000 What's up, Uncle?

00:40:09.000 Hey, guys, what's going on?

00:40:11.000 Nothing.

00:40:12.000 What's happening?

00:40:15.000 I've got a question for you, Gavin.

00:40:17.000 I was wondering if you're familiar with the term Asian fishing?

00:40:22.000 No.

00:40:26.000 It's a thing that it's probably more exclusive to the Gen Z kids, but it's when people who aren't Asian present themselves as completely Asian on social media.

00:40:42.000 And it's kind of a baffling thing.

00:40:44.000 I'm actually half Asian myself.

00:40:46.000 I don't understand why a white person would do that.

00:40:49.000 But I actually have a half a website is doing this.

00:40:57.000 All right.

00:40:58.000 Thanks for calling.

00:41:00.000 Jesus Christ.

00:41:01.000 No, no, he's right, man.

00:41:03.000 Listen, yeah, people do this.

00:41:05.000 It's a tactic that they'll do for.

00:41:07.000 Wait, are you doing it?

00:41:08.000 What do you mean?

00:41:09.000 Tim, Poole, are you pretending to be half Asian?

00:41:13.000 No, I actually pretend to be half white.

00:41:16.000 That's why I'm wearing Carhartt hats now and wearing Brooks Brothers.

00:41:19.000 But anyway, yeah, but it's sick, man.

00:41:22.000 You're losing your trademark beanie?

00:41:25.000 Yeah, man.

00:41:26.000 Here's the thing.

00:41:27.000 So we were, you know, me and Luke were going to get some pizza.

00:41:30.000 Luke Radogowski?

00:41:32.000 Radowski, yeah.

00:41:33.000 Radowski.

00:41:34.000 Do you pay that guy?

00:41:36.000 What is that guy's incentive to live at your compound?

00:41:39.000 Oh, he's cool.

00:41:42.000 Yeah, I don't really get into that.

00:41:43.000 I can't really discuss things like that.

00:41:45.000 But I could tell you what.

00:41:46.000 Ian pays him kombucha, like he makes his own kombucha.

00:41:50.000 And Luke loves it, man.

00:41:51.000 It's crazy.

00:41:51.000 He'll sit there with some Doritos and some pizza.

00:41:54.000 And just like, if you try to talk to him, he's just like, no, can't do it.

00:41:58.000 So anyway, yeah, BuzzFeed put out this article not too long ago about weeboos.

00:42:02.000 And so they're like white people trying to go out pretending they're like Japanese and stuff like that.

00:42:05.000 It's real weird.

00:42:08.000 I couldn't give less of a shit about people pretending to be Asian.

00:42:15.000 And I have a very wide net of give a shit.

00:42:18.000 You do, yes.

00:42:19.000 That's true.

00:42:21.000 Like I care about those women who do the fucking catfish thing with the fingers where they wear a glove and can like catch a catfish.

00:42:30.000 Noodling.

00:42:31.000 Noodling.

00:42:32.000 I care about that.

00:42:34.000 You care actively about that.

00:42:36.000 I care.

00:42:37.000 It seems handy.

00:42:38.000 It seems hard.

00:42:39.000 Those things can weigh 100 pounds.

00:42:41.000 What is it?

00:42:42.000 What is it that they do?

00:42:43.000 It's called.

00:42:43.000 Noodling, where they...

00:42:45.000 I think you have to wear a glove because they have sharp teeth.

00:42:47.000 But you go down there in the mud, you go like this, and then a catfish bites your fake worms and you grab it and wrench it up out of the water.

00:42:59.000 Yeah, but one more thing about this Asian fishing thing, it's like people are like, oh, well, well, that's like, you know, Uyghurs, you know, pretending to be black or whatever.

00:43:08.000 But like when these kids are doing it, it's almost like they're appropriating Uyghur culture.

00:43:13.000 So it's like two levels of like stealing culture.

00:43:15.000 I would say that we have been, as white people, we've been so brainwashed into thinking we suck that I understand Zoomers going, I'll take anything.

00:43:24.000 I'll make myself trans.

00:43:26.000 I'll become Asian.

00:43:28.000 I'll become black.

00:43:29.000 Whatever I have to do to not be this disgusting, horrible person that is behind slavery and colonization and everything wrong with the world.

00:43:38.000 Give me an out.

00:43:40.000 I'm gay.

00:43:42.000 Whatever you want.

00:43:42.000 I'll suck a dick.

00:43:43.000 I wonder how many straight men in high school are like, just to not be straight white males.

00:43:55.000 Five.

00:43:55.000 Probably five.

00:43:57.000 Five million.

00:43:59.000 There's five million dicks sucked by straight men.

00:44:06.000 Gross.

00:44:06.000 This catfish tickling.

00:44:07.000 The only thing grosser than sucking a dick that you don't want to suck is eating out a girl you don't want to eat out.

00:44:12.000 Have you ever done that?

00:44:14.000 It's like putting your face in a wound.

00:44:17.000 It's disturbing.

00:44:19.000 A wound.

00:44:20.000 A wound.

00:44:22.000 Or a wound.

00:44:23.000 Yeah.

00:44:25.000 And you're in dry heave position.

00:44:29.000 I actually just farted right when I did that, too.

00:44:32.000 All right, next call.

00:44:34.000 Danny's on the list.

00:44:36.000 Yo!

00:44:38.000 Hey, dude, so I know this might be ancient Chinese secret, but it keeps coming up on Snapchat for me.

00:44:46.000 These two British fags who pranked or got Katie Hopkins to fly out to Prague or something.

00:44:54.000 Dude.

00:44:56.000 That is such an ancient Chinese secret.

00:44:58.000 It's literally two or three years old.

00:45:02.000 What I'm getting at is where's the payback from the censored TV family?

00:45:06.000 When are we going to prank these weeds?

00:45:07.000 Okay, so what's your update to that?

00:45:09.000 Are you just telling us about a three-year-old prank?

00:45:12.000 Oh, it keeps popping up all over my Snapchat.

00:45:15.000 Ancient Chinese secret.

00:45:17.000 Okay, thanks for calling, dude.

00:45:19.000 Yeah, three years ago, Katie Hopkins got flown to some northern European town where they have tons of money for pranks, and they gave her the like, I don't know.

00:45:31.000 Cultural, Unitarian, Normative, Trans, Positive, whatever award that spells cunt.

00:45:41.000 They gave her the cunt award.

00:45:42.000 Oh.

00:45:44.000 And she fell for it and went up there and got the award.

00:45:49.000 This is more important, and it keeps popping up on my feed.

00:45:52.000 Oh, my God.

00:45:53.000 I get sent this like three times a day.

00:45:55.000 Have you discovered these people?

00:45:57.000 It's a Haitian guy and an African-American woman.

00:46:01.000 And the man's name is Ibuprofen.

00:46:05.000 This is them at a thing.

00:46:09.000 Yes, here we are at Haldane Center Gallery.

00:46:13.000 And here we are showcasing our art.

00:46:16.000 This exhibition is being hosted from today.

00:46:19.000 You want backstory?

00:46:20.000 They look like they're wearing masks.

00:46:22.000 Yeah, they are very weird and sweaty.

00:46:24.000 And I think maybe they're on drugs.

00:46:25.000 The backstory of this, and I came up with this myself.

00:46:29.000 My theory is that they were coached to do this video.

00:46:32.000 They were like, hey, you have to keep it a little more succinct because she rambles in her early videos.

00:46:37.000 And she's mad.

00:46:38.000 So this is her facetiously sounding white and being informational.

00:46:44.000 Yes, here we are at Albany Center Gallery.

00:46:48.000 And here we are showcasing our art.

00:46:50.000 This exhibition is being full.

00:46:53.000 So that's the most normal she ever is.

00:46:55.000 She's a meth head.

00:46:56.000 It's clearly mess.

00:46:58.000 It could be, yes.

00:47:01.000 We here in the Northeast tend to not know how many people are on mess.

00:47:06.000 Everyone is on mess south of the Mason-Dixon line and in the Pacific Northwest.

00:47:13.000 They're all on fucking meth.

00:47:14.000 Look at how she thinks eyes look.

00:47:18.000 That's not normal eyes.

00:47:22.000 You can even Google us.

00:47:23.000 We're on Google.

00:47:24.000 We everywhere.

00:47:25.000 We digital.

00:47:26.000 Y'all connect with us.

00:47:27.000 We need more people.

00:47:28.000 We everywhere.

00:47:28.000 We everywhere with it.

00:47:30.000 We everywhere.

00:47:31.000 Your art is garbage.

00:47:33.000 We're on Google.

00:47:35.000 One time.

00:47:35.000 It's objectively shit.

00:47:39.000 Look at that.

00:47:43.000 Yo, we digital with it.

00:47:48.000 Fucking prey glue to boostier to a piece of garbage and then stuck some more shit to it.

00:47:56.000 What a useless waste.

00:47:58.000 Even in a fire, you'd be kind of embarrassed to throw that in.

00:48:02.000 You would be like, what's with your kindling, dude?

00:48:04.000 It sucks.

00:48:06.000 There's so much good content.

00:48:08.000 Here's just a little family jam of them.

00:48:10.000 Why are you so familiar with this?

00:48:12.000 Could you stumble upon it?

00:48:13.000 I couldn't stop.

00:48:14.000 Once I found their blackfolds.

00:48:16.000 Quality it is.

00:48:17.000 Everything that they do is bad.

00:48:19.000 Absolute shit.

00:48:20.000 And it's fantastic.

00:48:24.000 I'm so sick of the pandering.

00:48:26.000 Okay, I can't find the family jam, but here's the one where they're showing off hats that they've created.

00:48:33.000 Let me guess, they suck.

00:48:35.000 Well, that's an interesting theory.

00:48:37.000 Someone jizzed on a hat, and now we want to buy it?

00:48:41.000 Look, I jizzed on a hat, spray-painted orange, and glued an M ⁇ M to the top.

00:48:47.000 Dema should get your hat drizzled.

00:48:50.000 Dema?

00:48:50.000 Hat drizzle.

00:48:55.000 Oh my god.

00:48:56.000 Dude, you got to separately send me that link.

00:48:58.000 Doesn't that sound like hell?

00:49:00.000 It sounds like they're in hell.

00:49:01.000 You're playing a clarinet.

00:49:02.000 I don't know what they're doing.

00:49:03.000 After that hat and my experience with barfing the other night, I feel like when I get to hell, I'm going to say to Satan, is that all you got?

00:49:13.000 This is bullshit.

00:49:14.000 It's just very hot.

00:49:15.000 Like, look at this.

00:49:18.000 Take some notes.

00:49:20.000 Hey, Satan, if you're watching, this is what to turn on when the heat's at its fullest.

00:49:27.000 Thank you.

00:49:28.000 My name is Harlan.

00:49:29.000 I'm 12 years old.

00:49:30.000 Oh, all right.

00:49:30.000 We're not going to make fun of you.

00:49:31.000 Yeah, we don't make 12-year-olds, but I'm guessing she sucks.

00:49:34.000 The food that they make is bizarre and stomach-churning.

00:49:38.000 What is this?

00:49:38.000 Where do they live?

00:49:39.000 I find it.

00:49:40.000 Albany White.

00:49:41.000 Oh, my God.

00:49:41.000 Here it is.

00:49:41.000 Albany.

00:49:42.000 How did I know it was a white part of town?

00:49:44.000 Here it is.

00:49:52.000 Why take lessons when you can just figure out a violin from scratch?

00:49:56.000 They put a music stand-up for these poor kids with no music.

00:49:59.000 Did you think?

00:50:00.000 Do something?

00:50:03.000 I mean, the bigotry of low expectations has rocketed past the short bus into embarrassingville.

00:50:13.000 When do you ever buy a chicken that looks anything like that?

00:50:18.000 Imagine being their neighbors.

00:50:19.000 We got the fire!

00:50:22.000 See, they're celebrating fire.

00:50:25.000 That's how far.

00:50:26.000 They sound like Island boys.

00:50:28.000 We got the fire chicken.

00:50:31.000 This is how...

00:50:31.000 All right, that's enough.

00:50:32.000 Jesus Christ.

00:50:33.000 What a waste of time.

00:50:34.000 On your own time, do that forever.

00:50:36.000 It will never stop.

00:50:38.000 And by the way, I think that black fist thing is actually a weapon.

00:50:41.000 Hot take.

00:50:42.000 Oh, they're the ones who made that.

00:50:43.000 Yes.

00:50:44.000 So, yeah, it's a weapon.

00:50:45.000 So you stick your hand in it and, like, punch people?

00:50:48.000 Yeah, I don't think that this is just like a black power fist to like show your support.

00:50:53.000 Because judging by this.

00:51:00.000 So, Maddie, you're a career criminal.

00:51:02.000 Have you ever worn a fist cast?

00:51:05.000 No.

00:51:06.000 Never.

00:51:07.000 What about a black fist?

00:51:10.000 Well, will you consider it now?

00:51:12.000 Fist cast?

00:51:13.000 No.

00:51:14.000 No.

00:51:15.000 Okay.

00:51:16.000 Look how effective it is.

00:51:20.000 I don't know.

00:51:21.000 That's a hard no for Maddie.

00:51:23.000 That's a hard no there.

00:51:25.000 That's a hard R. All right, next call.

00:51:28.000 Excuse me.

00:51:29.000 Ron is calling about the vaccine.

00:51:33.000 Island boy!

00:51:36.000 Island boy!

00:51:38.000 I got the Island boy.

00:51:40.000 I'm fucking late those toys.

00:51:44.000 So I had something to say, but I changed my mind because I heard the conversation that kept going.

00:51:50.000 First off, I want to say hi to Charlie Sheen over here sitting at the bar from his from the Pearl Harbor picture.

00:51:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:05.000 That doesn't surprise me seeing that picture.

00:52:08.000 I actually want to ask John a question, though.

00:52:11.000 Sure.

00:52:13.000 So, John, what is the deal?

00:52:16.000 Are they just completely not giving constitutional protection to anyone from January 6th?

00:52:23.000 Because if I'm not mistaken, the Sixth Amendment says that we have a right to a speedy trial.

00:52:28.000 Finally, a good question on the call-in show.

00:52:32.000 Holy shit.

00:52:34.000 Stop the pressing.

00:52:35.000 It's the second time you've said that to me, Gavin, so I appreciate that.

00:52:38.000 Wow.

00:52:40.000 Yeah, so without talking about specific cases that I'm involved in, you know, because I can't talk about pending criminal cases that I'm involved in.

00:52:48.000 Yeah, obviously you can't go into any specifics.

00:52:51.000 Yeah, but so generally speaking, you are correct.

00:52:54.000 You have a constitutional right to a speedy trial, and you also have a statutory right to a speedy trial, which defines it as, I believe, 70 days after you're arrested or arraigned or your first appearance or something like that.

00:53:07.000 You know, the challenge here, quite frankly, in these cases, is that the government moved very quickly to charge hundreds of people without having the discovery ready to go for the defendants to be able to really prepare for trial.

00:53:25.000 And so what it's done...

00:53:26.000 So you're saying that, if you don't mind me asking, so you're saying that basically they're not even arraigning them, they're just leaving them there to rot until they decide to get around to discovery and arraignment?

00:53:39.000 No, they all get arraigned relatively quickly, but the discovery process is not complete even as of yet.

00:53:49.000 And so it puts the defendants and their counsel in a very kind of catch-22 situation because while the detained defendants certainly want to have a speedy trial and they want to try to get out of detention as fast as possible,

00:54:06.000 they obviously also want to be able to be effectively sort of prepared for trial.

00:54:15.000 So it's a very challenging situation.

00:54:17.000 The judges do have authority under the Speedy Trial Act, relatively broad authority, in the quote-unquote interest of justice to extend that time, which they have routinely been doing.

00:54:31.000 But this is largely a situation that is caused by the fact that the government charged so many people so quickly without having the evidence, the discovery lined up, which is really typically the way it's supposed to occur.

00:54:44.000 But we've got guys in there for like Ethan Nordine and Joe Biggs have been there for 10 months in the shoe.

00:54:53.000 No chance of bail, and they can't go into GenPop because they'll foment a revolution.

00:54:58.000 How this is Venezuela?

00:55:00.000 But if I can be a little bit of a conspiracy theorist here, which, you know, obviously, you know, we can.

00:55:10.000 Does it have anything to do with the fact that discovery would lead to discovery on the other side as well?

00:55:16.000 So they're trying to put it off as long as possible to try to get it out of the minds of people in order to say not let everyone know that there were a fuckload of feds involved?

00:55:30.000 So look, there are lots of people that are commenting on that sort of issue online, and there's lots of speculation about it.

00:55:38.000 Again, there's lots of things that I would like to say that I simply can't about these cases.

00:55:43.000 Sounds like a yes.

00:55:45.000 That sounds like a yes.

00:55:49.000 Yes, so.

00:55:50.000 Oh, you just said yes.

00:55:53.000 Yeah, so it's a bit, look, it's not a good situation for the people that are detained.

00:55:58.000 You know, they're in very, very bad conditions.

00:56:00.000 That is not a facility, the one that they're in in Washington, D.C., you know, that is designed to hold people, you know, long-term.

00:56:08.000 It's a very, very unpleasant place.

00:56:10.000 John, do you think they'd be getting the same treatment if they were island boys who don't have max with the toys?

00:56:17.000 They got some island boys.

00:56:21.000 So elaborate on that a little bit more fun.

00:56:24.000 They were from the islands.

00:56:27.000 Thanks for letting me call in.

00:56:28.000 Gav, just so you know, last time I called in, I asked about the vaccine exemption, and I got it.

00:56:34.000 So I just wanted to at least pass along a little bit of good news before I got to.

00:56:38.000 How did you get it?

00:56:41.000 Being a giant fag?

00:56:45.000 Kind of.

00:56:46.000 So I filed a religious exemption as a Satanist because Satanist tenets is that one's own body is inviolable and subject to one's own will alone.

00:57:00.000 And I thought, huh, I wonder if I go full-on woke for my religious exemption, if they'll give it to me.

00:57:10.000 And I'll be fucked they did.

00:57:11.000 That's amazing.

00:57:13.000 Where do you live?

00:57:14.000 What state?

00:57:17.000 So I currently live in the very heart of the Midwest, right here in Missouri.

00:57:25.000 Okay, you're going to say Missouri next time.

00:57:28.000 Wow, that's amazing.

00:57:29.000 I was going to not say it, and then I'm going to.

00:57:32.000 Yeah, the feds are not going to jump into the telephone wires.

00:57:36.000 Don't people from Missouri call it Missouri?

00:57:39.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 Are you going to go a Mizu on my ass?

00:57:42.000 I beat up a guy from Missouri once.

00:57:43.000 He said he's going to go Mizu on my ass.

00:57:46.000 Oh, I don't give a fuck.

00:57:47.000 Beat up everybody in Missouri.

00:57:48.000 We're the meth capital of the world.

00:57:50.000 Are you kidding me?

00:57:51.000 So that's amazing.

00:57:52.000 You got away by saying you're a Satanist.

00:57:55.000 Another one of my friends did that, too, in Canada.

00:57:58.000 Satanist?

00:57:59.000 He got a lot of Christians turned down, but out of all the people that were turned down, only the Satanists actually got that.

00:58:07.000 You know what?

00:58:08.000 Satanists are particularly litigious, and Christians are not.

00:58:12.000 I wouldn't be surprised if bureaucrats see Satanism and they're like, this sounds like one of those independent citizens kind of thing.

00:58:20.000 He's a fan of the private sector.

00:58:24.000 I'm just a traveler.

00:58:26.000 What are those called again?

00:58:27.000 The free citizens, sovereign citizens?

00:58:31.000 I'm just traveling.

00:58:34.000 I was traveling at a velocity in a vehicle.

00:58:37.000 I was not speeding.

00:58:41.000 It's like the physics thing.

00:58:44.000 I know how fast I'm going or I know where I'm going.

00:58:46.000 I don't know both.

00:58:47.000 Sorry.

00:58:48.000 All right.

00:58:49.000 Thanks for calling.

00:58:50.000 Yeah, I guarantee you they know Satanists as litigious.

00:58:54.000 So what's the moral of that story?

00:58:56.000 Get litigious.

00:58:57.000 I don't like it, but it worked for Scientologists and Proud Boys need to start suing.

00:59:03.000 Proud boys need to start sending legal letters to everyone who calls them white nationalists starting tomorrow.

00:59:10.000 It's the only way.

00:59:11.000 I don't like this setup.

00:59:12.000 I like handshake deals and punches in the face.

00:59:16.000 But if you want to stray from that and you put us in a world where we're constantly getting fired for rumors, okay.

00:59:23.000 We'll fight you in the courts.

00:59:26.000 Fine.

00:59:28.000 You win.

00:59:30.000 Next call.

00:59:32.000 Calvin's calling about video games.

00:59:37.000 Is he an island boy?

00:59:40.000 I'm an island boy.

00:59:44.000 We always forget the next part.

00:59:46.000 I think they do too.

00:59:47.000 Something about your vest.

00:59:48.000 And I'm just trying to make it.

00:59:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:59:53.000 Okay, before I get into it, I just want to know, is John Pierce an ass man or a tip man?

00:59:58.000 Great question.

01:00:00.000 Yeah, I tend to get myself in enough trouble as it is without kind of venturing into this territory.

01:00:07.000 So I'll leave it to Gavin to guess.

01:00:10.000 He's been pretty insightful about me today so far.

01:00:13.000 So I'll just leave it to Gavin to.

01:00:15.000 I appreciate that, John.

01:00:16.000 Absolutely.

01:00:17.000 I appreciate you handing me the torch.

01:00:19.000 Sure.

01:00:20.000 His background is athletics.

01:00:23.000 His ex-wife was a soccer star.

01:00:26.000 They tend not to be having a lot of junk in the trunk, soccer women.

01:00:33.000 I'm going to go with Tipman.

01:00:37.000 He's Irish.

01:00:37.000 He's from Pittsburgh.

01:00:41.000 I don't see him as a giant ass dude.

01:00:44.000 I'm going to go with Titman.

01:00:45.000 And you can tell by the giggles that I've hit the nail on the heads.

01:00:49.000 I've hit the head on the nipples.

01:00:52.000 He's a tip man.

01:00:53.000 And that's how titmen giggle too.

01:00:58.000 That's the name of my first book, Titmen Giggle 2.

01:01:05.000 One of these days when I'm not a lawyer anymore, I'm going to come back on the show and then I'll really be able to talk.

01:01:09.000 We can finally get to the truth.

01:01:11.000 Sorry, we missed that caller.

01:01:14.000 You've been getting lied to about video games.

01:01:16.000 When people play as a woman and they say it's for the thinner waist so they don't get hit.

01:01:22.000 Yeah, but it's not true.

01:01:24.000 It's what?

01:01:24.000 Yeah, that's not true.

01:01:26.000 Every character has a hitbox is what they're called, where that's the part where if you get shot, it does damage.

01:01:32.000 And for the men and the women, it's the exact same.

01:01:34.000 They don't make it easier for the switching to a woman.

01:01:37.000 That's a complete lie.

01:01:38.000 Because the original story he told me was, you have to buy skins to be a dude.

01:01:43.000 And I'm like, uh, empty my bank account.

01:01:46.000 We're making you 90 dude skins.

01:01:49.000 He's like, okay, good.

01:01:51.000 And then I turn around and I see some fucking hot chick.

01:01:54.000 And like, there's like three or four dudes using chicks in Fortnite.

01:01:59.000 The fuck.

01:01:59.000 And grown men do it, too.

01:02:01.000 It's, it's disgusting.

01:02:02.000 Yeah, it's like Chun Lee in Street Fighter 2, which we have here in the audience.

01:02:08.000 I'm kind of disappointed Ryan hasn't pointed this out because he's a video game player.

01:02:12.000 Dude, he plays chicks.

01:02:14.000 No.

01:02:15.000 He's fucking running around with a gorgeous ass and like lambskins on himself, fighting dragons as a chick.

01:02:23.000 That's actually, I'm going to step in here real quick.

01:02:26.000 My boy Ryan, he sat over here for a second.

01:02:30.000 It comes down to his hand, where you get to play.

01:02:32.000 What was the game, Jesse Peterson?

01:02:35.000 What was your game?

01:02:36.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:38.000 Horizon Dawn or something like that.

01:02:40.000 Anyway, we used to play that, but we didn't have the video game.

01:02:43.000 So we used to throw rocks at each other and say, Horizon Zero Dawn.

01:02:47.000 And whoever got bleed first, whoever got bleed first would die, usually.

01:02:53.000 I'm really understanding you, Jesse.

01:02:54.000 Anyway, so when Ryan...

01:02:56.000 Why was he a chick in that game?

01:02:58.000 I'm trying to explain.

01:02:59.000 When Ryan can pick a character, if he can pick boy and girl, he'll pick a boy.

01:03:04.000 But in that game, Glavin?

01:03:07.000 Glavin, yeah.

01:03:08.000 Glavin.

01:03:09.000 Glavin.

01:03:10.000 Glavin.

01:03:11.000 But people say Glavin, they get my name wrong.

01:03:13.000 I don't care.

01:03:13.000 I'm Glavin you said that because I do like to have options.

01:03:18.000 So anyway, what I will say is that when Ryan can pick a candidate, he picks a boy.

01:03:25.000 And by the way, he's not a nerd, so he doesn't know about the hit points.

01:03:28.000 So wait a minute.

01:03:29.000 Do these games start you off as a chick and then you have to earn the right to be a dude?

01:03:33.000 Yeah, I don't play a lot of games.

01:03:35.000 I'll tell you what.

01:03:36.000 That's a weird thing to do to young men.

01:03:38.000 You have to earn the right to be a man.

01:03:41.000 You're going to be a woman until you earn your balls.

01:03:44.000 Yeah, it's almost like Indian karma where you come back.

01:03:46.000 If you're good, you come back as a man.

01:03:48.000 If you're bad, you're going to stay with Tilly's.

01:03:51.000 No, I think if you're bad with Indian karma, you're like a rabbit or a donkey.

01:03:55.000 Damn.

01:03:56.000 Which is the woman or the animal kingdom.

01:03:59.000 Okay, thanks, Jesse.

01:04:02.000 Let's take another call.

01:04:04.000 Jesse.

01:04:06.000 Ryan, you got to get rid of that painting behind you.

01:04:09.000 I cannot look at it.

01:04:10.000 It's the worst painting that has ever been painted in life.

01:04:15.000 Why don't you take it to the camera right now and just tear it in half?

01:04:19.000 I can't control my camera.

01:04:22.000 This fucking side.

01:04:23.000 Oh, wait, I can.

01:04:24.000 Okay, cool.

01:04:25.000 That is so bad.

01:04:27.000 By the way, that's not a four.

01:04:29.000 It's the skeleton.

01:04:30.000 This took me like an hour of staring at this piece of garbage.

01:04:33.000 No.

01:04:34.000 It's the skeleton grabbing, like, I assume that's you.

01:04:38.000 That's a man dressed as a clown.

01:04:40.000 And he's losing his heart to the time, to money.

01:04:43.000 I don't know.

01:04:44.000 What?

01:04:45.000 Love as a price tag, and that's time.

01:04:48.000 But he's got money in his hand.

01:04:50.000 And death is taking him away.

01:04:54.000 It says, oh, your time's up.

01:04:56.000 You know, it reminds me when people go, I wish my dog could talk.

01:04:59.000 I wonder what he's saying.

01:05:00.000 This is what your dog is saying.

01:05:02.000 If you could get your dog to do a painting, it would be that shitty.

01:05:07.000 He's taking your dog painting.

01:05:09.000 He's getting taken away from life and he's got money to.

01:05:11.000 Rip it up, please.

01:05:12.000 But, please just burn it with a lighter.

01:05:15.000 But he can't afford happiness and love because the price tag is just time.

01:05:20.000 He's only got money.

01:05:22.000 But that doesn't make any sense.

01:05:24.000 Tell that to them.

01:05:25.000 The penis coffee mug I bought in Paris in Pigal is way more meaningful than your painting.

01:05:34.000 And it's much better.

01:05:35.000 It's much more professional.

01:05:36.000 I disagree.

01:05:38.000 Well, hey, callers, call in and say, what would you rather own?

01:05:43.000 That penis mug?

01:05:44.000 Where the handle's a dick in an ass?

01:05:47.000 Or Ryan's weird, like, skeleton taking a guy away because he doesn't have time for love, but he has money?

01:05:54.000 Like, who is this guy?

01:05:56.000 Jeffrey Epstein?

01:05:57.000 It's based on a Toto song.

01:05:59.000 What's a Toto song?

01:06:00.000 Love Isn't Always On Time.

01:06:03.000 I'm just kidding.

01:06:04.000 That's a joke.

01:06:06.000 It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

01:06:08.000 This guy's calling about Jimmy Fallon or something.

01:06:13.000 Did you hear that?

01:06:14.000 Someone in the background is like, hey, butthole.

01:06:16.000 Say, butthole.

01:06:18.000 This is the level of intelligence with our fans.

01:06:22.000 It doesn't matter, bro.

01:06:24.000 Hey, man.

01:06:29.000 Your friend wants you not to forget buttholes.

01:06:34.000 Buttholes.

01:06:35.000 Yeah, come on.

01:06:36.000 Such a funnier word than anus or asshole.

01:06:38.000 I want to say it to a doctor.

01:06:40.000 I'm worried about my butthole.

01:06:44.000 What do you want?

01:06:46.000 What?

01:06:49.000 What do we want?

01:06:50.000 Are you perchance stone?

01:06:55.000 What the fuck are you standing there looking like a bunch of fucking retards?

01:06:59.000 Now we're just listening to a man's private conversation.

01:07:03.000 We look like retards?

01:07:06.000 Yeah, if I were going, I'd say bye.

01:07:10.000 Dude, what the fuck did you just say, old ass man?

01:07:15.000 All right.

01:07:15.000 Thanks for calling.

01:07:16.000 That was great.

01:07:17.000 Nice work, boys.

01:07:19.000 They always say, like, everyone needs a voice in America.

01:07:23.000 Why is it only the select few get a voice?

01:07:26.000 Okay, here's a voice.

01:07:28.000 What do you have to say, rest of America?

01:07:31.000 Fucking buttles.

01:07:33.000 Vicky, you look at retards.

01:07:36.000 Thank God we got everyone's opinion.

01:07:42.000 Maddie, I bet if you turned down the censored sign, it would be legible.

01:07:47.000 Oh, on the left.

01:07:51.000 I don't think that has a fucking...

01:07:53.000 This is on and off.

01:07:56.000 Oh, really?

01:07:56.000 Yeah.

01:07:57.000 Oh, you're right.

01:07:57.000 Yeah.

01:07:58.000 It's the other lights that have the dial on them.

01:08:01.000 When I made those signs, he wouldn't let me do a dial.

01:08:04.000 Damn.

01:08:05.000 He said it's not possible for white light.

01:08:09.000 White light?

01:08:10.000 What a joke.

01:08:11.000 Find your line.

01:08:13.000 He was from Vietnam.

01:08:16.000 This is Lewis on the line.

01:08:18.000 Can you hear me?

01:08:19.000 Yes.

01:08:21.000 Hey, how's it going, you bunch of faggots?

01:08:25.000 Well, that hurts, but yeah, we're good.

01:08:27.000 No, no, no, no, no, not you, only Ryan.

01:08:29.000 Only Ryan.

01:08:30.000 Okay.

01:08:30.000 I'm not a man.

01:08:31.000 I had a funny story about Rikers.

01:08:34.000 What?

01:08:36.000 I had a funny story about a tranny at Rikers.

01:08:38.000 Okay.

01:08:39.000 Are you at Rikers?

01:08:40.000 Are you a CO?

01:08:42.000 No, no, no, no.

01:08:43.000 So I was there.

01:08:44.000 I don't want to say why because it would probably dox me.

01:08:47.000 But I was there for about a month last year from January to February.

01:08:53.000 So just to be clear, you're a man who was in Rikers prison jail, and your concern is we might find out who you are and you would be embarrassed that you called into censored.tv.

01:09:05.000 Despite the fact that you're an ex-con.

01:09:08.000 No, no, no, I'm innocent.

01:09:09.000 I'm innocent.

01:09:10.000 That's what they all say, right?

01:09:12.000 Okay.

01:09:12.000 So spending a month in Rikers is far less embarrassing than watching this show.

01:09:18.000 Yeah, very true.

01:09:20.000 Anyhow, so there was this black guy that I met in there who was about 27, and he was an ex-pimp, and he was in there for pistol whipping one of his whores because he was smoking his mask.

01:09:32.000 And I find out this guy's like a huge fucking rap sheet.

01:09:34.000 His name's Che.

01:09:36.000 And he's getting this special treatment from all of the COs.

01:09:40.000 And I'm like, you know, what's going on here?

01:09:42.000 Something doesn't add up.

01:09:44.000 So I talked about it.

01:09:45.000 What kind of special treatment?

01:09:46.000 Like chocolate shakes and extra Scrabble pieces?

01:09:49.000 Like peace and legends?

01:09:50.000 He's able to stay out of his cell after lock-in.

01:09:53.000 He's able to, you know, get more than the limit on commissary.

01:09:57.000 He gets extra food.

01:10:00.000 You know, special privileges.

01:10:02.000 He wasn't bearing the brunt of it.

01:10:04.000 And so then I come to find out that he's always going down every day to the medical unit.

01:10:09.000 And it's because he's registered as a tranny.

01:10:12.000 But he's not trans.

01:10:14.000 You see, he explains this to me.

01:10:16.000 He's just a homo.

01:10:17.000 And so he's registered as a tranny.

01:10:19.000 And I say, you know, why are you doing this?

01:10:22.000 He says, oh, it's very easy.

01:10:24.000 Anytime one of the captains comes through and catches me with a contraband or I poke someone, I stab someone, and then I get locked up and they start fucking with me.

01:10:32.000 I call in to the 311 line.

01:10:35.000 And because of de Blasio's policies, if you file a complaint from within the prison system that they're abusing a transgender, all hell breaks loose.

01:10:43.000 We get investigators come in.

01:10:44.000 And so this guy shows me, I'm like, so do this.

01:10:48.000 So he calls in, says a complaint, says that one of the captains is harassing him and making anti-transgender remarks, and then calls the Legal Aid Society.

01:10:57.000 And within a day, we have investigators coming in and stopping everything and questioning this guy and segregating him and then locking everyone down.

01:11:06.000 And it's like this guy was fucking untouchable.

01:11:08.000 And all he had to do was just get an estrogen shot.

01:11:11.000 And he got released within like a week.

01:11:14.000 His balls were smaller.

01:11:15.000 He had a slightly higher voice, but he lived like a king.

01:11:19.000 Yeah.

01:11:20.000 So why was it?

01:11:23.000 Do you think he was released early also because of this shit?

01:11:27.000 Oh, 100%.

01:11:28.000 You know, you have a black gay guy.

01:11:31.000 What's the one way to get a little bit better in the system?

01:11:34.000 You say you're trans.

01:11:36.000 Say you're trans, and if you're already a homo, it gives you nicer skin, you get the estrogen treatment.

01:11:41.000 You should really look into it, Gavin.

01:11:43.000 I hear that you can change your passport, you can become gender neutral.

01:11:46.000 I think it might be, you know, it's some double Jeopardy stuff for you.

01:11:49.000 Just God forbid, if you ever get in trouble, say you're trans.

01:11:52.000 Yeah.

01:11:53.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:11:55.000 Ryan, why did you go and bring John at water who has a full pint of water next to him?

01:12:00.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

01:12:06.000 Why don't you focus on your job and not bringing people who have a water, a water?

01:12:12.000 Speaking of while I can't, but Justice Smalley.

01:12:19.000 Tell John, why are you drinking out of that and not your glass?

01:12:23.000 He brought it to me and I feel it's the polite thing to do to actually.

01:12:26.000 It's guilt water.

01:12:28.000 Don't drink your guilt water.

01:12:30.000 Just Mollet trial reaches a verdict.

01:12:32.000 Why are we talking about this?

01:12:33.000 Because we don't know anything.

01:12:36.000 Oh, yeah, we know what happened.

01:12:38.000 A verdict means nothing to me.

01:12:40.000 Oh, they announced what the verdict was.

01:12:42.000 What's the verdict?

01:12:43.000 He's guilty on five counts and not guilty on one count, but he's guilty on five counts.

01:12:48.000 Okay, but if this is just going to be probation, it doesn't mean anything to me.

01:12:52.000 If it's a year probation, total, total charges, that's a non-existent thing.

01:12:59.000 I think there were felonies, so I don't think you'd get a year, the minimum, five years, as felony probation.

01:13:05.000 Ooh, now we're getting...

01:13:07.000 John, I don't like the look of water bottles on bars.

01:13:12.000 Can you hide that?

01:13:13.000 No problem.

01:13:13.000 You get it.

01:13:17.000 So, Maddie, you think it could be five years?

01:13:20.000 Well, felony probation is five.

01:13:21.000 Well, New York, I don't know about Illinois.

01:13:23.000 But felony probation in New York is five years.

01:13:26.000 What do you think, John?

01:13:27.000 Oh, I have not the slightest idea about what the law in Illinois is on this.

01:13:31.000 I just haven't been following it.

01:13:33.000 But do you, John, do you think it's not possible that he might get away with just probation despite five?

01:13:40.000 I'm doubtful he'll get away with just probation in light of kind of how much he sort of put the city through and he kept lying and he.

01:13:51.000 He got away with it.

01:13:52.000 Everything was done.

01:13:54.000 Okay, Jesse, your prank didn't work.

01:13:56.000 Move on.

01:13:57.000 He goes, I'm actually suing the city for wasting my time.

01:14:02.000 No, we're suing you for wasting our time, fuckhead.

01:14:06.000 What a moron.

01:14:08.000 Yeah, that was not very smart.

01:14:09.000 The problem is he's going to thoroughly enjoy every day in prison.

01:14:12.000 The only person who's not going to enjoy it is his anal lips.

01:14:16.000 I think when they dragged him away, his mouth was going, yeah!

01:14:22.000 And his asshole was going, no.

01:14:25.000 He'll never be in general population if he goes to jail.

01:14:29.000 Why?

01:14:29.000 Because of his celebrity status.

01:14:32.000 His what?

01:14:32.000 Because of his celebrity status.

01:14:34.000 So that's a thing where celebrities are going to get beat up?

01:14:37.000 Well, you know, they say it's going to disrupt the day-to-day operations and safety and security of the institution.

01:14:47.000 Maybe now that you're a regular part of this show, you won't be able to be in gen pop next time you go to the other side.

01:14:53.000 I mean, he could, like, if it's a big enough personality or somebody, the prison itself puts you in there.

01:15:01.000 You don't have a choice in the matter.

01:15:03.000 It's not like he'll, he could sign into protective custody, but like I said, if you're too much of a famous person or they think that something's going to happen to you or you're going to get extorted, it's called administrative segregation.

01:15:15.000 You'll be in the shoe for ad sec.

01:15:17.000 Administrative segregation.

01:15:19.000 Administrative segregation.

01:15:20.000 Is it better in there?

01:15:22.000 No, it sucks.

01:15:23.000 23 and 1.

01:15:25.000 So it's the shoe.

01:15:26.000 Yeah.

01:15:26.000 So it's the same as if you punched a CO in the face.

01:15:29.000 Right, there's a little difference if you're in there for disciplinary.

01:15:32.000 I guess if you get in trouble, you get written up and you go in front of your disciplinary hearing and all that shit and you get sent to the shoe, you get a lot more stuff stripped away from you.

01:15:40.000 Like when you're on administrative segregation, you can still order food and stuff from commissary and stuff like that.

01:15:45.000 Like when you're on disciplinary segregation, you can only get hygiene products and shit.

01:15:50.000 But you're still locked in the same cell for 20 days.

01:15:52.000 Still 23 and 1.

01:15:53.000 Right.

01:15:54.000 You got to rotate cells every 21 days, I believe.

01:15:59.000 Okay, now I'm feeling kind of bad.

01:16:00.000 I want Jesse to suffer, because my friends have suffered, but I don't really want him to be in the shoe for four years.

01:16:08.000 That seems a little rich for a prank.

01:16:11.000 I want to do a year even?

01:16:13.000 That even sounds like a lot.

01:16:15.000 I said it's up to the prison administration.

01:16:19.000 As a judge, I would do six months in the shoe.

01:16:22.000 The judge really doesn't have anything to do with inside of the Department of Corrections.

01:16:26.000 They can recommend anything they want, but it doesn't get followed.

01:16:29.000 I thought the jury comes up with a guilty verdict, and then it's up to the judge to how much he follows the pattern.

01:16:37.000 Couldn't a judge say zero to 100?

01:16:39.000 The judge does the sentencing, but what Maddie's saying, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, is once they're sentenced and they're in the Bureau of Prisons or the equivalent in the state.

01:16:48.000 DOC or whatever.

01:16:48.000 That doesn't have anything to do with the judge anymore in terms of whether they're in solitary or right, I understand.

01:16:55.000 But you know he's going to the shoe because he's a celebrity.

01:16:57.000 Right.

01:16:58.000 So if I was a judge, I think I would give him six months knowing he's going to inevitably go to the shoe.

01:17:05.000 I mean, we all hate Jussie, but three years, come on.

01:17:09.000 I think what you just suggested would be a pretty reasonable.

01:17:11.000 Six months.

01:17:12.000 I think that's pretty reasonable.

01:17:13.000 He would do it at a county jail.

01:17:15.000 And the worst part for Jussie is in six months in the shoe, he's not going to get fucked in the ass.

01:17:21.000 Double punishment.

01:17:23.000 I could not imagine not getting fucked in the ass for six months.

01:17:25.000 I'd kill myself.

01:17:28.000 I was fucked in the ass an hour before the show.

01:17:31.000 We have a fluffer here.

01:17:33.000 That's gay.

01:17:36.000 I'm just kidding, Owen.

01:17:37.000 I don't have a fluffer.

01:17:38.000 I didn't know you were here.

01:17:39.000 Oh, okay.

01:17:40.000 Because then you'd be gay bear.

01:17:42.000 Yeah, I'm doing a gay joke.

01:17:44.000 It's like my only two jokes are, I'm going to fuck you or I'm going to fight you.

01:17:48.000 That's basically all I got.

01:17:50.000 That's fine, but what about throwing some like bear jokes in there?

01:17:54.000 You're like, hey, does your back itch?

01:17:57.000 Why don't you go rub it on a tree?

01:17:59.000 Get some honey.

01:18:01.000 I don't get that.

01:18:02.000 How is that a thing?

01:18:03.000 It's about bears.

01:18:04.000 It's a bear joke.

01:18:05.000 It's definitely about bears.

01:18:06.000 There's no doubt that was about bears.

01:18:08.000 You brought in all the top bear shit.

01:18:10.000 Honey, scratching.

01:18:11.000 That's all bear shit.

01:18:12.000 Everyone knows about that.

01:18:14.000 But I don't get how that's a joke.

01:18:16.000 Well, what about when you rummage through garbage?

01:18:19.000 It's like, is the earth flat in here?

01:18:22.000 No, it's round.

01:18:23.000 Get your band.

01:18:24.000 Bear.

01:18:25.000 Maybe your tiny brain gets so consumed with doing an imitation that as far as coming up with what to say, there's only 1% left.

01:18:34.000 Bears.

01:18:38.000 Just bear with me.

01:18:40.000 Oh, there we go.

01:18:41.000 He had to pause and cut away, and he got a pun out of it.

01:18:45.000 He almost fucking got a hernia.

01:18:48.000 He had an aneurysm.

01:18:50.000 Thinking so hard.

01:18:51.000 He literally had to wipe the sweat from his brow.

01:18:53.000 You can have an aneurysm on a toilet.

01:18:55.000 You never know.

01:18:57.000 Bear thee.

01:18:57.000 That's true.

01:18:58.000 All right, let's take another call.

01:19:02.000 Bear the brunt of it.

01:19:04.000 Texas childhood.

01:19:05.000 I grew up with the...

01:19:06.000 We couldn't indulge in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of it.

01:19:09.000 I was raised in a tradition that believed in the privilege of the privilege of the myths and the privilege because we had to bear the brunt of it.

01:19:16.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

01:19:22.000 What's with the neck?

01:19:23.000 Like, I grew up in a home that didn't have the privilege of the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of it.

01:19:30.000 That's the thing about having an afro.

01:19:32.000 You can do shit like that because it's not going to tussle your hair.

01:19:36.000 I can't do that.

01:19:37.000 Look, I already got strays.

01:19:40.000 I grew up in a family that couldn't indulge in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of it.

01:19:46.000 He does not look happy that you're giving him criticism.

01:19:50.000 Sorry, Eddie.

01:19:51.000 Last name, Latin for lame.

01:19:55.000 Do it again.

01:19:56.000 I can't get enough.

01:19:56.000 This guy's my coach.

01:19:58.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

01:20:04.000 Oh, bear the brunt of them.

01:20:06.000 That makes sense.

01:20:06.000 The myths and the legends.

01:20:07.000 Plural.

01:20:11.000 Yes, that's MSNBC, John.

01:20:13.000 He goes off at a, I'd say a two-minute diatribe, and the white other guests, co-hosts, et cetera, are so petrified of getting fired that as he berates them and touches them too, like holds onto them, they all just go, mm, mmm,

01:20:29.000 mmm, mmm, petrified of offending this fucking Martin Luther King dipped in clown sauce.

01:20:41.000 Who do we got next?

01:20:42.000 We got Texas child custody.

01:20:46.000 That old subject that I'm a total expert on.

01:20:49.000 Sounds like an A and it's a very difficult situation.

01:20:52.000 Very difficult situation.

01:20:55.000 So you are going to your son's stepfather's house to get your son at 3 p.m. for custody, but then your son's stepfather, he comes up with the guns.

01:21:07.000 What do you do?

01:21:08.000 Hey, Christopher Walkins, a shitty joke, or is that like you asking a question?

01:21:16.000 Remember that guy who tried to pick up his son and he got shot?

01:21:20.000 That's what he's talking about.

01:21:22.000 Yeah, maybe John should handle this.

01:21:24.000 I'm lost.

01:21:25.000 Yeah, John.

01:21:26.000 Well, it is a very unfortunate situation.

01:21:28.000 Well, there's a guy who went to pick up his kid and he's arguing with his ex-wife and her new husband or boyfriend comes out, tells him to get off his property.

01:21:36.000 And he doesn't, and the guy ends up shooting him, killing him.

01:21:39.000 Yeah.

01:21:40.000 Which is in Texas, if you're told to get off somebody's property and you don't, they can...

01:21:45.000 Well, they have the Castle Doctor.

01:21:48.000 Castle Doctrine's all over the South, right?

01:21:51.000 Certain states.

01:21:52.000 I mean, New York has a Castle Doctrine.

01:21:54.000 It's the only place you don't have to try to retreat.

01:21:58.000 My buddy from the Army said that you can't fire off a warning shot because that's illegal.

01:22:05.000 But this guy, he fires off a warning shot.

01:22:08.000 So already there's something there for why the guy was trying to fight the guy, trying to take his gun.

01:22:20.000 Wait, are you doing a Christopher Walking imitation or that's your voice?

01:22:25.000 I just always talk like this, you know?

01:22:28.000 And you live in...

01:22:30.000 My nearly child is a child.

01:22:31.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:22:34.000 I don't like your voice.

01:22:35.000 Too hard.

01:22:36.000 Too many jokes, too many layers.

01:22:37.000 You can call in and do a jokey voice, and that's your thing.

01:22:42.000 You can call in with a real question about castle doctrine.

01:22:44.000 You can't do both.

01:22:46.000 We're sitting here trying to parse your joke and then answer your question about the law.

01:22:52.000 No.

01:22:54.000 Next fucking call.

01:22:56.000 Okay.

01:22:56.000 Thanks for calling.

01:22:59.000 All right.

01:22:59.000 I believe this is if.

01:23:03.000 I should probably wrap this up early, I think.

01:23:06.000 We've got a fantabulous guest here.

01:23:08.000 We can't be dragging it out.

01:23:10.000 Jeff.

01:23:15.000 Hello, Jeff.

01:23:16.000 Hello?

01:23:17.000 Hello?

01:23:20.000 Hey, I had a follow-up for the John question earlier.

01:23:25.000 Good.

01:23:30.000 So with the January 6th horse shit, obviously it's, you know, it's what it is at this point, but do they, in the long run,

01:23:46.000 once everything starts to get settled out, do they have a case against, I guess, whatever district court they're in or U.S. government against their Sixth Amendment rights violation for just sitting and holding and holding and holding them?

01:24:07.000 Yeah, so I mean, look, it depends on each particular case, and it depends on the circumstances of each case.

01:24:14.000 I mean, there's certainly, look, there's already been a finding by District Judge Lamberth in the case of my former client, Christopher Worrell, that his civil rights were violated because he didn't get the appropriate medical treatment for his cancer condition.

01:24:29.000 He's dead now.

01:24:31.000 Right?

01:24:32.000 No, no.

01:24:33.000 Certainly die?

01:24:34.000 I certainly hope not.

01:24:35.000 No, I don't believe he is.

01:24:38.000 But he was released by Judge Lambert from pretrial detention because of the failure of the Bureau of Prisons to give him any kind of adequate medical treatment for his cancer.

01:24:53.000 And the judge found that there were, I believe, found that there were civil rights violations in that instance and held, I think it was the Bureau of Prisons in contempt and ordered an investigation by the Department of Justice.

01:25:07.000 So, you know, certainly in that case, there's already been a finding of civil rights violations.

01:25:11.000 And, you know, I'm sure there will be.

01:25:13.000 That doesn't count.

01:25:13.000 That's cancer.

01:25:14.000 What about all of the others who were meandering and were sentenced and they turned trespassing into what's the 1522 thing again?

01:25:24.000 The 1512 charge?

01:25:26.000 Yeah, what's that again?

01:25:28.000 That's essentially obstruction of an official proceeding of Congress.

01:25:33.000 That charge is being challenged in, and that's the sort of the big felony charge that they're trying to hit people with where they think that they can, because that's the one that has a 20-year maximum sentence.

01:25:45.000 Now, that statute is being challenged in dozens of cases as being unconstitutional, both sort of on its face as being too vague and as opposed to...

01:25:57.000 Well, it's also been going on forever.

01:26:00.000 And in the past two years, how many public governmental buildings have been destroyed, burnt?

01:26:09.000 They've had, how many city halls have been stormed?

01:26:13.000 Obstructing government bureaucrats from doing their job has been happening on a daily basis now for two years.

01:26:20.000 Well, it happened in the Capitol with respect to the Kavanaugh hearings.

01:26:26.000 It's happened all the time.

01:26:27.000 I mean, a federal courthouse in Portland was under siege for over 100 days, and you had folks who were trying to burn individuals alive inside of it.

01:26:36.000 You have multiple instances in state capitals in which there have been demonstrations that certainly appear to be designed to disrupt those proceedings.

01:26:47.000 And so really, what you're looking at, and I think what is self-evident with respect to what's happening in the country right now, and again, I can't refer to the January 6th cases in which I represent people, but generally speaking, I think a lot of Americans are seeing that we basically have two systems of justice to a certain extent in this country right now.

01:27:07.000 And like we talked about earlier, that's a very dangerous, slippery slope.

01:27:13.000 Because if folks in a free republic do not feel that there is an equal, fair system of justice, and if they don't feel like there's an election system that has integrity to it, that's not a good recipe for holding together the fabric of a free republic.

01:27:28.000 Well, just to tease our conversation that will be airing probably in about a week, black, poor, brainwashed BLM Americans think that America's out to get them, and if they do something wrong, the justice system will let them down and cops will throw them under the bus and there'll be no fairness in a court of law.

01:27:50.000 And that's true for patriots these days.

01:27:52.000 So the irony is BLM, if they're worried about supporting the oppressed, they should support the January 6th meanderers because these are the ones who genuinely have the systemic bigotry against them.

01:28:06.000 It's not true for blacks, but it is true for patriots, especially white trash patriots.

01:28:13.000 I mean, the real reason, if we're honest, they attacked Kyle Rittenhouse is because he's white trash.

01:28:20.000 If he was wealthy, if he was a member of a long-standing family, you'd never have heard of him.

01:28:27.000 But because he's a hillbilly, they couldn't wait to fucking eat him alive.

01:28:31.000 Right, John?

01:28:33.000 Well, I'm thrilled that he was acquitted and he should have been acquitted because he was totally innocent and it was perfect self-defense is what I have to say to that.

01:28:40.000 Did you not be honest right now on the air?

01:28:43.000 Is it true that you did heroin with Kyle Rittenhouse many times?

01:28:48.000 Fortunately, that is not accurate.

01:28:51.000 Okay.

01:28:51.000 Is it true you guys hosted gay orgies in the hotel?

01:28:54.000 Just be honest.

01:28:56.000 Again, fortunately, that is not accurate.

01:28:59.000 That is not true.

01:29:00.000 Okay.

01:29:01.000 I think it's...

01:29:02.000 Oh my God, Kyle Rittenhouse.

01:29:04.000 I think it's time to be honest about this.

01:29:09.000 And we did do those things.

01:29:12.000 Looks like it's Smurf.

01:29:13.000 So it's not a rumor.

01:29:14.000 So Kyle Rittenhouse, you're admitting that there was gay orgies at the hotel room and you guys did tons of heroin.

01:29:21.000 They couldn't be gay or Gavin.

01:29:24.000 There was, you know, whatever the equivalent of boobs on a woman was, but the guy version.

01:29:32.000 I think that's butt cheeks.

01:29:33.000 There were butt cheeks and lots of heroin, like you said.

01:29:40.000 Why did you throw Proud Boys under the bus, Kyle?

01:29:43.000 We had your back like crazy until Dave fucking fraud Kenhauser.

01:29:50.000 I'm just going to say this.

01:29:53.000 My ass hurts, but it's not from the gay stuff I did with John.

01:29:56.000 It's because there's a hand up my ass using me as a puppet to say, you know, things I'll say.

01:30:06.000 But hopefully that's not gross.

01:30:09.000 I like how you're being diplomatic about what you say.

01:30:13.000 You don't want to burn any bridges, but you are confessing to gay orgies.

01:30:18.000 Right.

01:30:19.000 Well, it's 2021, and that's not a problem.

01:30:24.000 It's actually gay not to be gay.

01:30:25.000 So I don't want to speak out of turn, but there was plenty of gay orgies.

01:30:31.000 It's funny that my brain goes to that as the worst two things in the world you could possibly do, right?

01:30:36.000 Heroin and gay orgies.

01:30:37.000 Yeah.

01:30:37.000 Which is somebody's idea of a great time.

01:30:39.000 It's like, I've done half those things.

01:30:41.000 You're really?

01:30:43.000 I hope.

01:30:44.000 The subject of heroin has come up multiple times today.

01:30:48.000 Well, I mean, half the country's on it.

01:30:49.000 Look at the Oxy pandemic.

01:30:53.000 The Oxy epidemic.

01:30:55.000 Everyone's on fucking Oxy.

01:30:56.000 And as far as gay orgies, that's 100% of gays.

01:31:01.000 There's no gays.

01:31:02.000 There's no chaste gays.

01:31:04.000 There's no gays that like fell in love with their high school sweetheart.

01:31:08.000 Notice I'm making a fist.

01:31:11.000 All right, next call.

01:31:13.000 All right, we got.

01:31:15.000 I'm not still on.

01:31:17.000 We don't get two things, though, sir, so I'm going to have to drop you.

01:31:20.000 No, you're done, dude.

01:31:21.000 By the way, from my puking, not only do I have David Beckham's body, but every time I barf, I mean, every time I barf, every time I hiccup, it feels like I'm getting punched in the tits.

01:31:31.000 Like, it is a workout, that barfing.

01:31:35.000 Jesus.

01:31:36.000 Very violent.

01:31:38.000 This guy's talking about cars.

01:31:43.000 It sounds like something out of Star Wars.

01:31:49.000 That's a really great TIE fighter.

01:31:51.000 Yeah, it sounds like a TIE fighter.

01:31:55.000 I remember in the show, the Sarah Silverman show, Jay Johnson has a quote where he goes, he's a cop in the show.

01:32:02.000 And he goes, as a cop, I've seen things that would make you crap a book on how to puke.

01:32:09.000 And I go to Jay.

01:32:10.000 I know him.

01:32:11.000 I go, that's the funniest thing that's ever been said.

01:32:13.000 He said, I think Dan Harmon wrote it.

01:32:15.000 I go, I want to literally write a book on how to puke.

01:32:18.000 It'll probably just be a fanzine, just so I can put it up my ass and pretend to shit it out because I want to be part of that.

01:32:25.000 I want to experience that.

01:32:26.000 And then I thought, well, I have to figure out how to puke.

01:32:29.000 Here's how to puke.

01:32:30.000 Don't put your head down in the toilet.

01:32:33.000 It goes up your nose.

01:32:35.000 You want to put your chin over the lip of the thing, the basin, and go so it comes out this way and gravity pulls it down and not up your nose.

01:32:50.000 This is inviting nasal barf, which is the worst because you finally experience the euphoria of the barfs are over and now you've got to blow your nose and get that fucking diesel gasoline out of your sinuses.

01:33:03.000 If you're just sitting there going straight out, nothing's going in your nose.

01:33:10.000 And once you're done that third puke, and don't kid yourself, it's not going to be one.

01:33:15.000 It's at least three.

01:33:17.000 And when you're done the third TIE fighter, you wipe this fucking bile off your mustache and you're free for at least two hours.

01:33:30.000 Here, here, do the scene, but you're the TIE Fighter.

01:33:34.000 Okay.

01:33:38.000 We got him.

01:33:39.000 We got the fucking TIE Fighter.

01:33:44.000 That one almost.

01:33:48.000 That's a loud TIE Fighter.

01:33:50.000 Why are they so loud today?

01:33:56.000 I missed it.

01:33:56.000 Did you miss that one?

01:33:57.000 Yeah, you can still hear it.

01:33:59.000 My wife put like a, it was actually a Bubba and Hanks cooler.

01:34:04.000 No offense, Bubba and Hanks.

01:34:05.000 I know this is not great advertising.

01:34:07.000 But she brought me a Bubba and Hanks cooler that I was keeping my beer in.

01:34:11.000 She emptied out the beer and put that by the bed.

01:34:13.000 And I'm like, I got like one of my boys sleeping in the bed with us.

01:34:18.000 I'm not going to barf on the side of the bed with like two other family members as I sit there going, like I'm yelling.

01:34:27.000 I have to be in, even with the bathroom with the door closed, it's waking up the house.

01:34:33.000 Who, what kind of selfish asshole that's not a kid barfs on the side of the bed?

01:34:38.000 Did you wind up barfing on the side of the bed?

01:34:41.000 What?

01:34:41.000 Did you wind up doing it anyway, even though you said you wouldn't?

01:34:44.000 Ryan, I just spent five minutes explaining why it's wrong to barf by the side of the bed.

01:34:49.000 I still don't have to.

01:34:50.000 I just explained the logic behind it, and then you go, did you barf by the side of the bed?

01:34:56.000 I think you could still think it's terrible and all the things that you said and then also still have done it.

01:35:00.000 You shouldn't rape kids.

01:35:01.000 It's wrong.

01:35:02.000 It destroys their life.

01:35:04.000 It destroys their family's life.

01:35:06.000 Family's going to kill you.

01:35:07.000 Did you rape that kid?

01:35:11.000 No.

01:35:12.000 I didn't do the thing that I was just saying is a terrible thing.

01:35:16.000 Okay.

01:35:20.000 That's my past two days.

01:35:24.000 I believe you, Gavin.

01:35:25.000 Thank you.

01:35:27.000 Gavin's a good guy.

01:35:29.000 You know, someone made a joke about raping a kid, and I thought he never raped a kid.

01:35:35.000 That makes him a good guy.

01:35:36.000 He's a good guy.

01:35:38.000 That'd be a t-shirt we should make.

01:35:40.000 Don't rape kids.

01:35:41.000 Never have, never will.

01:35:45.000 No circumstances would I. Yeah, no thanks.

01:35:48.000 Want me to rape a kid?

01:35:49.000 You got the wrong guy.

01:35:52.000 True hero.

01:35:53.000 You're so not raping kids.

01:35:55.000 Okay, now I'm doing the thing I hate where SNL and mainstream comedians will do all kinds of kid sex jokes, but they won't make fun of Muslims or Jews or do anything racial.

01:36:04.000 Oh, but you do that too.

01:36:07.000 Nigger Kaike Muhammad cartoon.

01:36:09.000 Now we're even.

01:36:10.000 Sorry to have John on the screen as you did that.

01:36:12.000 Let me try it again.

01:36:14.000 Nigger Kaik Muhammad cartoon.

01:36:15.000 Okay, now we have this guy calling about cars.

01:36:22.000 Cars.

01:36:23.000 312, you're on the line.

01:36:25.000 Yo, yo.

01:36:28.000 You're on.

01:36:29.000 What's up, Gab?

01:36:30.000 What's up, Maddie?

01:36:30.000 Hey, man.

01:36:32.000 What is John?

01:36:32.000 Chop liver?

01:36:36.000 What's up, Brian?

01:36:37.000 No, no, John.

01:36:38.000 You're close.

01:36:42.000 Listen, I wanted to know what exactly are you looking for in a car?

01:36:49.000 Well, I got sent it actually the other day.

01:36:52.000 And it is a beauty, a flaming beauty.

01:36:56.000 And it was a Jaguar from 1990.

01:36:59.000 It had, I think, 30 mile, 30 miles, 30,000 miles on it.

01:37:05.000 And it was a 1997 Jaguar XJR.

01:37:13.000 And I was like, you know, I like older cars than that, but, you know, I want power steering and air conditioning and all that shit.

01:37:21.000 And at least 20 grand.

01:37:26.000 Whoa.

01:37:28.000 I mean, I could go to 30 if you found me God?

01:37:34.000 But I'm not going to fucking 50 or 60 for something that's going to cost me 20 grand a year.

01:37:40.000 Guaranteed.

01:37:41.000 You've had this conversation with Maddie?

01:37:44.000 Yeah.

01:37:45.000 What does Maddie suggest?

01:37:48.000 Maddie's a BMW guy.

01:37:51.000 As am I. I sensed to a car that you put on the show.

01:37:58.000 It was early 90s M5.

01:38:02.000 So an early 90s M5 has fuel injection, right?

01:38:05.000 Everything is modern in that?

01:38:08.000 Correct?

01:38:08.000 It's basically the same as the modern one.

01:38:11.000 Let's pull that up.

01:38:12.000 Let's pull up an early 90s M5.

01:38:16.000 I just lost an M5 to the storm.

01:38:19.000 But I didn't like the edges.

01:38:21.000 Ooh, that's a beaut.

01:38:23.000 Dude.

01:38:24.000 What year is that?

01:38:25.000 Wait, that looks like a hatchback.

01:38:26.000 Here we go.

01:38:30.000 See, the problem with that.

01:38:31.000 Oh, that's...

01:38:31.000 Are you sure that's early 90s?

01:38:33.000 Yeah.

01:38:34.000 Promise, Ryan, that would have been 80s.

01:38:36.000 I think that was early 90s.

01:38:37.000 Do you like 1992 M5?

01:38:40.000 Because all of those look 80s.

01:38:43.000 Those are going to skyrocket in value.

01:38:47.000 Yeah, they're already going nuts.

01:38:49.000 And it's weird because you go, it's a bad time to buy a used car.

01:38:52.000 But it's also good because the resale value is up there.

01:38:56.000 And these things go up.

01:38:58.000 That's a very pretty car.

01:39:00.000 Look at that fucking front grill.

01:39:02.000 Aggressive grille.

01:39:03.000 Yep.

01:39:05.000 Wow.

01:39:06.000 That is a lovely vehicle.

01:39:10.000 Okay, so...

01:39:13.000 I'll continue to send suggestions.

01:39:16.000 Okay, thanks.

01:39:17.000 Thank you.

01:39:19.000 Is that really helpful?

01:39:20.000 I mean, sure.

01:39:22.000 Okay, do you want to buy a BMW?

01:39:24.000 Yes.

01:39:24.000 Okay, but like, you want to buy an old BMW?

01:39:27.000 What about an early 90s BMW?

01:39:29.000 Yeah, that's old, and it's a BMW.

01:39:33.000 Hey, you want to buy an old Jaguar?

01:39:35.000 What about a 90s Jaguar?

01:39:37.000 Yeah, that fits the criteria.

01:39:40.000 Thanks for your help.

01:39:41.000 Island boys.

01:39:43.000 Ooh, we got an exciting question.

01:39:44.000 Do you like gentlemen from the Caribbean?

01:39:46.000 Yeah, what about some Island boys?

01:39:51.000 Okay, we got Tony on the line.

01:39:55.000 Tony?

01:39:58.000 Island boys.

01:40:01.000 They're making Island boys moves.

01:40:03.000 We got some Island boys.

01:40:10.000 I live in a blue state, guys.

01:40:13.000 And I'm seeing the tide turn on the masks.

01:40:19.000 I walked into my daughter's cheerleading event for the basketball game she was cheerleading for.

01:40:26.000 And I'm not fucking kidding.

01:40:28.000 There was probably three or four moms drooling over my masculinity of not wearing a mask.

01:40:36.000 The kids on the bench were staring at me going, that's a man.

01:40:42.000 And then the men in the crowd, they were just going, I'm such a fucking pussy.

01:40:47.000 I'm such a cuck.

01:40:49.000 Are you positive, sir, this is not you projecting?

01:40:54.000 I am not kidding.

01:40:56.000 You know, fuck me, eyes.

01:40:57.000 When a girl just wants to fuck you, when she gives you that look, I had like three or four of them in like seconds.

01:41:05.000 It was just all the women were staring up at me.

01:41:08.000 I was way up in the stand.

01:41:09.000 They didn't need to be looking up at me.

01:41:12.000 And then, to boot, then I take my kid to her birthday party at this like trampoline place.

01:41:20.000 The black guy that was like the security guard for the kids, he's yelling at everyone.

01:41:28.000 He's like, don't touch that.

01:41:30.000 Don't jump on that.

01:41:31.000 Don't.

01:41:32.000 And then my kids were doing all that shit and he wouldn't fucking say a word because he was fucking scared that I was fucking crazy because I didn't have my mask on.

01:41:42.000 He wasn't going to fuck with me.

01:41:44.000 So you get the most streak red in the fucking world and you got girls trying to fuck you.

01:41:50.000 Kids are trying to, you know, have you be their father.

01:41:53.000 And then you've got guys saying this guy's just like Charles Bronson over here.

01:42:02.000 And so I'm never wearing a mask again.

01:42:07.000 And I do get the occasional Karen.

01:42:09.000 I was walking out of the bank the other day and I opened the door for her and I could just, I knew with eyes in the back of my head that she was a liberal, fucking feminist, 60-year-old hag.

01:42:23.000 And she goes, oh, thank you.

01:42:24.000 Wait a minute.

01:42:26.000 Do you not have a mask on?

01:42:28.000 No, I'm wearing a mask.

01:42:30.000 Should have just said that.

01:42:32.000 Yeah, that would have been hilarious.

01:42:35.000 I go, nope.

01:42:36.000 And she goes, wow.

01:42:40.000 And I was just like, if I was quick-witted enough, I would have been like, why are you here?

01:42:47.000 There's a fucking drive-through.

01:42:49.000 If you're worried about this being the Black Death, why are you just walking around with your little paper mask on?

01:42:56.000 You think that's going to protect you?

01:42:58.000 You can smell a fart through your mask.

01:43:01.000 You can smell COVID through your mask and breathe it into your lungs and die, lady.

01:43:06.000 It's like, it's just mind-blowing living in a blue state with COVID because then you go to Texas, Florida, Arizona, South Carolina, Georgia, no one has masks on.

01:43:18.000 But in Washington state or California or Oregon, people will try to kill you if you don't have a mask on.

01:43:25.000 The best is the dirty looks you get from the liberals when you're in like a convenience store or something.

01:43:33.000 And it's just so gratifying.

01:43:36.000 It's really like hate has no home here.

01:43:39.000 It's just become a meaningless gesture that means I'm part of this tribe and I wouldn't dare stray from this tribe because that's the tribe.

01:43:50.000 I have one of those signs down the street from me and I've been so wanting to buy the sign off the censored store and switch it out and see how long it lasts.

01:43:59.000 Oh, Do we still sell those?

01:44:01.000 What does it say?

01:44:01.000 Hit us no home here, has no home here?

01:44:04.000 Yeah, I think last I checked, it was there, and I just thought it'd be funny because they look identical.

01:44:11.000 Yeah, I mean, the one we were selling on the store and the one that's you know out and about are identical.

01:44:21.000 So, anyways, all right, thanks for calling.

01:44:23.000 You seem weird.

01:44:24.000 John, John.

01:44:25.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:44:26.000 Sorry, John has a question for John.

01:44:28.000 Yes, sir.

01:44:29.000 John, does Kyle, is Kyle like cheese pizza or pepperoni pizza?

01:44:36.000 Yeah, I actually don't know the answer to that question.

01:44:42.000 Do you understand that question?

01:44:43.000 Is that an inside joke?

01:44:46.000 This is a good question.

01:44:48.000 Yeah, no, I understand the question.

01:44:50.000 I'm not aware it's an inside joke, but I actually just don't know the answer to the question.

01:44:53.000 Oh, man.

01:44:54.000 Well, I have to say that.

01:44:55.000 Okay, I shouldn't have everybody.

01:44:57.000 I'm glad that we let you get one more question in.

01:45:00.000 Thank God it didn't cut you off.

01:45:02.000 Thanks for calling.

01:45:05.000 This is clearly someone on the West Coast who's smoking marijuana.

01:45:10.000 Yeah.

01:45:11.000 And it is LSD.

01:45:14.000 I have no problem with people doing LSD.

01:45:16.000 In fact, one of my favorite books is, I believe it's called Free Radicals.

01:45:20.000 And it's about all the major discoveries in science that happen from guys who have done LSD.

01:45:28.000 It's all these, from Steve Jobs to, what's his name, Robert Watson, James Watson, the DNA guy, talking about how LSD expanded their brain.

01:45:37.000 By all means.

01:45:38.000 I mean, I don't really want my kids to do it, but I did it, and I get it.

01:45:43.000 It's a real brain stretcher.

01:45:46.000 But the modern version is marijuana.

01:45:50.000 And I mean, don't call into a show if you're on marijuana.

01:45:54.000 Don't drive.

01:45:56.000 Maybe draw.

01:45:57.000 I'm not even sure you should draw on marijuana.

01:46:01.000 You might like summon some demons.

01:46:03.000 Well, you end up with a painting like Ryan has.

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:08.000 I think you're being too flattering.

01:46:09.000 That was probably done with a little bit of weed.

01:46:12.000 That was weed-induced?

01:46:14.000 Probably.

01:46:14.000 I used to smoke weed all the time.

01:46:16.000 Oh, that's an old painting?

01:46:18.000 Yeah.

01:46:19.000 Dude, get it out of my life.

01:46:20.000 Why did you bring it into the studio?

01:46:22.000 Oh, he actually.

01:46:23.000 It's bad for the brand.

01:46:24.000 He actually painted it.

01:46:26.000 I didn't know he painted it.

01:46:28.000 Because I'm an island buddy.

01:46:32.000 We have a color on the line.

01:46:34.000 That clean.

01:46:35.000 Wait, they made a song?

01:46:36.000 Yeah.

01:46:38.000 That's the only word.

01:46:41.000 We know who the original Island boys are, though.

01:46:43.000 Is it really blown out or is that my speaker?

01:46:50.000 Seems to be part of the sound.

01:46:52.000 Blown out speakers.

01:46:53.000 Yeah.

01:46:54.000 Somebody on the line claims to be their fraternal uncle.

01:46:57.000 You're on the line.

01:46:58.000 Fraternal uncle?

01:47:01.000 Hello?

01:47:04.000 We'll wait, sir.

01:47:05.000 Yeah, this is a scoop.

01:47:07.000 There's our second celebrity tonight.

01:47:11.000 Okay.

01:47:12.000 Say hello to them.

01:47:13.000 Hello?

01:47:16.000 Hello, Island Boys, Uncle?

01:47:19.000 Yes.

01:47:19.000 Oh, thank you.

01:47:20.000 You didn't.

01:47:21.000 Okay.

01:47:21.000 What's up?

01:47:22.000 Island boys.

01:47:25.000 You got to lean your head down.

01:47:26.000 You got to rub your hands together.

01:47:28.000 Ryan, you got to put something where you can do the island boys.

01:47:32.000 But yes, they're horrible.

01:47:36.000 These are your nephews?

01:47:38.000 Yeah, no, no, they're not.

01:47:40.000 But I'm saying that my nephews are Cuban, well, a quarter Cuban, and they obviously work that hard for their college apps.

01:47:50.000 So, you know, being blue-eyed white people that happened to have one fourth Cuban, they did that.

01:47:58.000 So it worked out great for them to get into school.

01:48:01.000 Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:48:06.000 Are they Cuban?

01:48:08.000 You're trying to be funny and make a point.

01:48:10.000 We already outlawed that.

01:48:11.000 I lost my tracks.

01:48:12.000 Be funny or make a point.

01:48:13.000 You know what?

01:48:14.000 Thanks for calling.

01:48:15.000 Yeah, whatever.

01:48:16.000 Yeah, whatever.

01:48:19.000 Those are my nephews.

01:48:20.000 Well, they're not my nephews, but my people that are quarter Cuban and they got into college.

01:48:25.000 Okay.

01:48:25.000 They have blue eyes.

01:48:26.000 I figured quarter Cubans did get into college.

01:48:29.000 I had a hunch.

01:48:31.000 But they did have blue eyes.

01:48:33.000 My nephews are quarter Cuban and they have blue eyes.

01:48:36.000 I better call into a show and let that be known.

01:48:40.000 I don't give a fuck if your nephews cover themselves in gasoline and smoke a cigarette right now.

01:48:47.000 We only care.

01:48:48.000 We care if they're island boys.

01:48:50.000 If they're island boys, we do care.

01:48:52.000 We're back to one celebrity this show.

01:48:54.000 Fucking one.

01:48:56.000 You gotta be part of the island, man.

01:48:58.000 I mean, have you seen these island kids quarter Cuban?

01:49:00.000 They got blue eyes.

01:49:02.000 If they go to college, right?

01:49:04.000 What do you mean?

01:49:04.000 They gotta be part of the island, Joe.

01:49:06.000 They gotta be part of the island.

01:49:07.000 They put their vests on, boy.

01:49:08.000 You know, they do all these crazy things, man.

01:49:10.000 But you try to get them to...

01:49:12.000 Not college.

01:49:12.000 You try to get them in a trade school.

01:49:14.000 They got blue eyes.

01:49:16.000 Quarter Cuban.

01:49:17.000 They got a quarter Cuban, man.

01:49:18.000 They got a blue eyes.

01:49:20.000 He's the corn pop boys.

01:49:22.000 The corn pop boy.

01:49:24.000 Got hairy legs.

01:49:26.000 Fucking pee pop boy.

01:49:27.000 Fucking pee pop boy.

01:49:28.000 Fucking.

01:49:32.000 The poor boys.

01:49:34.000 Okay, bye.

01:49:38.000 I love him as an old man at the local bar.

01:49:41.000 I'm not bananas about him as a leader of the free world.

01:49:43.000 Jay's on the line.

01:49:46.000 What's up?

01:49:50.000 I ask questions for Maddie O'Dell.

01:49:52.000 That's me.

01:49:53.000 All right, man.

01:49:54.000 So here's the deal.

01:49:55.000 I was sitting there at the bar and had a couple of Hell's Angels come in.

01:49:59.000 They were driving a van, right?

01:50:01.000 They had their colors on.

01:50:03.000 So this loudmouth at the bar, he calls them out.

01:50:06.000 He goes, hey, you guys aren't supposed to be wearing the colors because you're not on your bikes, right?

01:50:12.000 They summarily took his ass out the parking lot and beat the shit out of him.

01:50:16.000 Yeah, that would be the appropriate actions.

01:50:19.000 Yeah, so here's my question.

01:50:21.000 I know he's a loudmouth.

01:50:22.000 He probably deserved to get the shit kicked out, but was he right?

01:50:25.000 Are they supposed to be wearing the colors when they're not on their bikes?

01:50:28.000 He can do whatever he wants.

01:50:29.000 He can put his patch on whenever he wants.

01:50:31.000 You know what?

01:50:32.000 Who's the guy that wants to tell a health agent what he can and the kid do?

01:50:37.000 I used to love it.

01:50:38.000 I'd be out and about and interact with people, what we would call civilians back in the day, and they would tell me how the club worked.

01:50:48.000 And I'd be like, Yeah, what?

01:50:50.000 And they're like, Yeah, that's how it works.

01:50:52.000 And I'm like, wait a minute.

01:50:55.000 I'm not only, I was the president.

01:50:58.000 I said, when will you remember that you know how it works?

01:51:03.000 Because I'm only the president.

01:51:05.000 I think I should know how it works.

01:51:08.000 But you're going to tell me.

01:51:11.000 You run into a Joe Tonelli that knew about MCs or something?

01:51:15.000 He's going to do this now.

01:51:16.000 Oh, yeah, Joe.

01:51:17.000 He knows everything.

01:51:18.000 No, but yeah, that's pretty common.

01:51:21.000 Even to this day, people are like, how are you out of?

01:51:27.000 They have to kill you.

01:51:28.000 I'm like, well, I'm standing in front of you.

01:51:30.000 I'm not dead.

01:51:32.000 I sat there and shut the fuck up.

01:51:33.000 They can do whatever they want to.

01:51:35.000 I'm just going to drink my drink.

01:51:36.000 I'm good.

01:51:37.000 I don't understand what possesses people to go up and just go up to somebody who has no interest in speaking with them at all.

01:51:45.000 They probably just wanted to go in there, have a couple of drinks, and leave or whatever, whatever they were doing.

01:51:49.000 Why would somebody feel that they have to go up and dictate to these people their opinions?

01:51:57.000 But why pick a fight with anyone where you don't know their background or what they're capable of?

01:52:02.000 He's probably just trying to show off for some chicks, you know?

01:52:04.000 Yeah, you know, we used to have a saying, stupidity is painful.

01:52:08.000 And don't let your tongue get your teeth not.

01:52:10.000 Can you be a Hell's Angel if you don't own a motorcycle at all?

01:52:14.000 Nope.

01:52:15.000 You need one.

01:52:15.000 Yeah.

01:52:16.000 You can.

01:52:16.000 It motorcycle club.

01:52:17.000 And horse.

01:52:18.000 Does it have to be like a Harley or a particular tour?

01:52:21.000 Actually, the official rule just has to be bigger than 750 cc's.

01:52:25.000 It doesn't mention a manufacturer or a brand name.

01:52:29.000 Most ride Harleys.

01:52:31.000 There are people within the club that don't, but that's few and far between.

01:52:38.000 Interesting.

01:52:38.000 All right.

01:52:39.000 There you go.

01:52:40.000 Thanks for calling.

01:52:42.000 Thanks for calling.

01:52:43.000 Okay, we're running out of time here.

01:52:44.000 We might have one or two calls left, folks.

01:52:47.000 A lot of calls this show.

01:52:49.000 Getting in touch with our audience.

01:52:51.000 This is from Heidi.

01:52:53.000 Heidi.

01:52:54.000 Hi, guys.

01:52:55.000 Hi.

01:52:57.000 Hi, this is Heidi.

01:52:58.000 I have a question for John.

01:53:00.000 I know they did well because he got acquitted, but do you think that you would have done anything different as the defense?

01:53:07.000 Did anything they did buy?

01:53:09.000 Finally, a good question.

01:53:11.000 Well, I mean, thank you for the question.

01:53:15.000 His Wisconsin criminal defense lawyers, Mark Richards and Corey, I forget how to pronounce his last name, they did a great job.

01:53:21.000 I actually recruited them and convinced them to take the case, and they did a great job.

01:53:27.000 Every trial, I mean, it's like a fingerprint.

01:53:29.000 I mean, every snowflake.

01:53:31.000 I mean, every trial is completely unique based on the personalities of the lawyers, the judge, who ends up being the jury, et cetera.

01:53:41.000 I think that, and I didn't actually have that much time to really watch the trial because of the January 6th cases, but I did follow some of the commentary.

01:53:50.000 And I heard some of the commentary, the two sort of criticisms I heard, which I don't buy into actually, are number one, that they shouldn't have put Kyle on the stand because the prosecution's case was so weak.

01:54:04.000 I was going to ask you that.

01:54:05.000 So you think that was a bad move?

01:54:06.000 No, no, no.

01:54:08.000 I think it was a good move.

01:54:09.000 Oh, because that was a very bold move, right?

01:54:11.000 Yeah, it's always a risk.

01:54:13.000 But, you know, they obviously knew their client well.

01:54:17.000 You know, I mean, Kyle, he is a composed young man, and he didn't do anything wrong.

01:54:23.000 And so, you know, the jury always wants to hear from the defendant, right?

01:54:30.000 It's just that sometimes tactically, you know, it doesn't make sense to put him on the stand if the prosecution did a bad job and if you're worried about how he might perform.

01:54:38.000 I think the risk reward calculus here was managed correctly to put him on the stand because they probably anticipated that he would do well, which he did, and that the prosecutor would do terribly, which he did, because those prosecutors are terrible.

01:54:53.000 The other criticism that I sort of saw, which I also disagree with this criticism, is that they didn't object enough whenever the prosecutors were cross-examining Kyle, that they should have been objecting much more on technical grounds.

01:55:13.000 That's very much a judgmental call in terms of how much to object, and it depends on the flow of the trial, and it depends how the cross-examination is going, because at a certain point in the trial, jurors start to make up their minds.

01:55:30.000 And they've kind of reached the point where they feel like they know kind of what happened, and they're ready to kind of get on with things and keep things moving.

01:55:38.000 And if the defense attorney objects too much, it can really get irritating to the jury if it's really not a fundamental strategic reason to object.

01:55:47.000 And the other thing that can happen if you object too much when your witness is being cross-examined is it can look like you're trying to protect him because he can't handle himself under the cross-examination.

01:55:58.000 So I think, you know, and again, I mean, despite some very tough words that I've gotten from the whole camp, including Mark Richards, being objective, I think they did a great job.

01:56:11.000 I mean, that's why I recruited them to do it.

01:56:14.000 And thankfully, Kyle was acquitted.

01:56:17.000 That's right, he did.

01:56:19.000 So to answer Heidi's question, would you have done anything differently?

01:56:24.000 Well, so from a fundamental standpoint, no, I don't think I would have.

01:56:29.000 I mean, my point was about sort of every trial is unique and whatnot, is that a jury trial, a trial is...

01:56:37.000 In hindsight, 2020 hindsight, would you have changed anything if you were magic?

01:56:43.000 Well, I mean, a trial is a very complex thing.

01:56:45.000 It happens over the course of like multiple weeks, right?

01:56:48.000 So obviously every lawyer would do something different, but from a fundamental standpoint, in terms of their strategic decisions, no, I don't think...

01:56:58.000 Let me back up.

01:56:59.000 The one thing I might not have requested is a mistrial without prejudice.

01:57:05.000 So they requested a mistrial with prejudice when there was that instance of it became apparent that the prosecution had not provided the HD version of the drone footage.

01:57:17.000 And then at some point along the path there, and again, I didn't have time to follow the trial very closely, but at some point along the path, they also asked for a mistrial without prejudice sort of in the alternative.

01:57:30.000 I think that things were going so badly for the prosecution and they were going so well for Kyle that I would not have requested that because that ultimately could have led to a retrial if there was a mistrial.

01:57:42.000 But again, these are all judgment calls that you're making literally on the fly.

01:57:46.000 So it's really tough to, in hindsight, second guess them.

01:57:55.000 But by and large, I wouldn't have done anything differently from a sort of fundamental strategic standpoint.

01:58:01.000 I think they did a great job.

01:58:02.000 What a great ending to our Thursday GOML Live.

01:58:06.000 We have Kyle Rittenhouse's OG lawyer here.

01:58:10.000 We heard what he would do if he was there.

01:58:14.000 And sounds like it would be pretty much the same that got Kyle Rittenhouse off.

01:58:18.000 Too bad he threw us all under the bus when he finally did get out.

01:58:21.000 But that is the want of teens today.

01:58:24.000 I'd like to cordially thank our co-hosts, John Pierce and Maddie Odell.

01:58:32.000 Not sure about Ryan Katsu-Rivera.

01:58:35.000 We've got some words with him to discuss after the cameras are shut.

01:58:39.000 But get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:58:45.000 I'm just going to do my job.

01:58:47.000 Unbelievably bad.

01:58:48.000 That's what I have done for the last 50 years.

01:58:51.000 Misinformation.

01:58:52.000 It just makes common sense easy minds.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 10, 2021

GOML LIVE #126 - RITTENHOUSE'S LAWYER

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