Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #127 - JOE'S FIRST DAY

00:00:08.000 The fart man, the fart man, the fartman, the fart man, the fartman, the fartman, the fart man, the fart man. 0.59

00:00:16.000 Oh, live from New York, it will get off by lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:25.000 Watch out. 0.50

00:00:27.000 The fart man, the fartman, the fart man, the fart man, the fart man, the fart man, the fart man, the fart out. 0.89

00:00:42.000 I'm here for real. 0.97

00:00:43.000 I'm the fart man. 0.82

00:00:45.000 Good joke, Ryan. 0.95

00:00:50.000 The fart man, the fart man, the fart man.

00:00:52.000 Now it's got to stop.

00:00:55.000 Stop the music.

00:00:57.000 Hello, folks.

00:00:58.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:01.000 This is Get Off My Lawn Live, as it is every Thursday night.

00:01:04.000 Welcome back, Maddie O'Dell, our sprightly co-host, Cut Tamatty, which is the different camera. 0.55

00:01:14.000 There we go.

00:01:17.000 He's wearing the bird, which is the bald eagle.

00:01:19.000 And we have an important announcement to make.

00:01:21.000 We are debuting our new engineer producer sidekick.

00:01:26.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joe Tonelli.

00:01:29.000 Woo-hoo! 1.00

00:01:30.000 Really?

00:01:33.000 Hi, guys.

00:01:34.000 How are you?

00:01:34.000 How are everybody?

00:01:36.000 Nope, we got a...

00:01:37.000 There you go.

00:01:39.000 So say hi.

00:01:40.000 Hi, everybody.

00:01:41.000 Welcome.

00:01:42.000 So you got to talk into the mic.

00:01:44.000 Okay, now I got it.

00:01:45.000 Okay.

00:01:46.000 So Joe, now that you're a new addition to the show, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

00:01:52.000 Well, let me see.

00:01:52.000 My name is Joey Tonelli.

00:01:54.000 You got to face the microphone.

00:01:55.000 Oh, sorry.

00:01:55.000 I'm done.

00:01:56.000 First day.

00:01:57.000 Yep.

00:01:58.000 Born and raised in Ryan, New York?

00:01:59.000 No, no.

00:02:00.000 You got to face the microphone.

00:02:01.000 Okay, how's that?

00:02:02.000 Is that better?

00:02:02.000 Sure.

00:02:03.000 You could twist it towards your face.

00:02:05.000 Okay, got it.

00:02:08.000 Okay.

00:02:09.000 Okay.

00:02:10.000 All right.

00:02:10.000 How old are you?

00:02:11.000 You seem pretty old.

00:02:12.000 58 years old.

00:02:13.000 58?

00:02:13.000 Yeah.

00:02:14.000 Okay.

00:02:15.000 What's your background as far as media and producing shows goes?

00:02:19.000 Actually, this is my first gig, so I'm giving it a shot to see how I do.

00:02:24.000 Okay.

00:02:25.000 So, sorry, go back again.

00:02:27.000 What's your story?

00:02:28.000 Oh.

00:02:29.000 This is my first time.

00:02:31.000 Right, but what's your life?

00:02:32.000 Who are you?

00:02:33.000 I mean, we have to introduce you to the people.

00:02:35.000 Well, who am I?

00:02:38.000 What do you want to know?

00:02:41.000 Where are you from?

00:02:42.000 Like, what would your grinder write-up be?

00:02:46.000 Well, like I said, born and raised in Rye, New York, went to Rye High School.

00:02:50.000 You got to face the mic.

00:02:51.000 Okay.

00:02:51.000 Went to Rye High School, born and raised in Rye.

00:02:56.000 You know, basically, you know, I lived out in Arizona for a little while.

00:03:02.000 And, you know, I got a background in safety and risk management and, you know, whatever.

00:03:08.000 So I'm just giving this a shot right now because safety is not really cutting it right now.

00:03:14.000 Are you married?

00:03:15.000 No, I was.

00:03:17.000 Do you have any kids?

00:03:18.000 I have two grandkids, a granddaughter and a grandson.

00:03:22.000 Oh, did you have kids, immediate kids, or did you just skip right to grandkids?

00:03:27.000 No, I have a daughter, a 25-year-old daughter.

00:03:30.000 Oh, okay.

00:03:30.000 She's going to be 26 on December 23rd.

00:03:33.000 Oh, okay.

00:03:35.000 So that's your story, and you're sticking to it?

00:03:37.000 I'm sticking to it.

00:03:38.000 All right.

00:03:38.000 Well, we've got, the way this show goes is we're free for the first half hour, and then we go behind the paywall, and we read mail, and we take calls.

00:03:51.000 There's just so much to squeeze into a live show that I don't like to go through the news.

00:03:56.000 Okay?

00:03:57.000 Okay, got it.

00:03:58.000 Have you ever been shot at, Joe?

00:04:00.000 Have I been shot at?

00:04:01.000 Yeah.

00:04:02.000 No, I mean, I worked when I was a American in the South Bronx.

00:04:05.000 I, you know, back in the day, back in the 80s, South Bronx was Fort Apache back then.

00:04:12.000 So we, you know, they were trying to score, you know, our narcotics back in the day.

00:04:17.000 But, yeah, I mean, we, you know, was I hit?

00:04:20.000 No.

00:04:23.000 Okay.

00:04:25.000 What happened with your marriage?

00:04:27.000 It just didn't work out.

00:04:30.000 Okay.

00:04:31.000 You know, didn't work out.

00:04:33.000 Now, your mom is Scottish.

00:04:35.000 Yeah, she was born in Glasgow.

00:04:37.000 Same with us, same with Maddie.

00:04:39.000 Yep.

00:04:40.000 We all have Glaswegian moms. 0.56

00:04:41.000 My mom was last name was Hardy. 1.00

00:04:43.000 H-A-R-T-Y-O was her maiden name.

00:04:45.000 Glasgow Mom Crew.

00:04:46.000 Yep.

00:04:47.000 Does she love you?

00:04:48.000 Is she still around?

00:04:50.000 No, mom passed in February of 2020.

00:04:52.000 How did she die?

00:04:54.000 Dementia.

00:04:55.000 She died of dementia.

00:04:56.000 Okay.

00:04:57.000 Let's get back to me.

00:05:00.000 So go to the right camera, Joe.

00:05:06.000 Great.

00:05:08.000 Sorry, bear with me.

00:05:09.000 Apologize.

00:05:10.000 No problem.

00:05:11.000 No problem.

00:05:12.000 Now, while I'm talking about the sponsors, I want you to pull up their web pages.

00:05:17.000 So we're going to start with Nita Fashions.

00:05:20.000 Nita Fashions has been with us for a long time.

00:05:22.000 I don't want to toot my own horn, but we are a major part of Nita Fashions' income.

00:05:29.000 We got them through the pandemic.

00:05:31.000 I would say 60% of their clients are baby monsters.

00:05:35.000 There's a lot of lawyers and sales dudes who need to have a good 10 suits. 0.99

00:05:40.000 But there's normal blue-collar dudes who need that one suit for funerals and weddings.

00:05:44.000 And when they get circumcised, that's where Nita Fashions comes in. 1.00

00:05:49.000 I've got my whole new wardrobe for the marathon, which is happening in less than 24 hours, and it's lasting for 24 hours.

00:05:58.000 At 6 p.m. tomorrow, 6 p.m., Joe and I will be together taking you through a 24-hour shift of the show.

00:06:08.000 We'll be interviewing everyone who's on the network.

00:06:11.000 We have every single contributor spanned out too, and it works because, you know, Australia and Britain and Hawaii, we've got Lotus, Dusty Bogan, and Katie Hopkins.

00:06:22.000 They can be in the wee hours of America time, and they're in normal time on their zone. 0.55

00:06:26.000 So they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when we're fucking exhausted at 5 a.m.

00:06:30.000 And I'll be wearing my Nita Fashions tuxedo, which is silk-lined. 0.91

00:06:35.000 Red silk.

00:06:37.000 You should get a Nita Fashion suit. 0.98

00:06:40.000 Maddie?

00:06:41.000 I'm going to.

00:06:42.000 For your various court dates, which are inevitable.

00:06:47.000 Would you wear a suit when you went to court?

00:06:49.000 Depending on, like, when I went to trial and stuff like that, I wore suits.

00:06:53.000 With a tie?

00:06:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:55.000 I mean, for like regular local court or until you start, unless you're in custody, you go in your regular street clothes.

00:07:03.000 But when you go to trial, they'll let you put a suit on.

00:07:07.000 And did it help with your sentencing?

00:07:09.000 So like people's like shaved, get their haircut, they look all like neat in primitive apartments. 1.00

00:07:14.000 It's all foregone bullshit. 1.00

00:07:15.000 They don't give a fuck what you look like. 1.00

00:07:17.000 They know what they're doing before you get there. 0.99

00:07:19.000 Yeah, they know how long they're going to put you away for.

00:07:22.000 Exactly.

00:07:23.000 So Nita Fashions is great for all of that.

00:07:26.000 And what I keep saying on this show is, you've never experienced wearing a tailored suit.

00:07:32.000 It feels like PJs.

00:07:34.000 In fact, as a blue-collar LARPer, I wear thick denim and wax pants and these thick flannels and red wings.

00:07:41.000 I'm very uncomfortable in my leisure wear.

00:07:44.000 I actually look forward to going to work because I wear a suit and can finally be comfortable.

00:07:50.000 Oh, I like those lapels too.

00:07:52.000 That's the hot thing now.

00:07:53.000 Peaked lapels.

00:07:54.000 All my new suits have those lapels.

00:07:56.000 Anyway, Nita Fashions. 1.00

00:07:58.000 I think the best way to contact them is to DM them on Instagram, set up a measurement thing.

00:08:04.000 They just got back from a world tour, so they probably won't be doing that for a while.

00:08:08.000 And get all your measurements done from home remotely, and then they can send you samples, swatches.

00:08:14.000 You can do all of this remotely.

00:08:15.000 Then you get this wonderful package from FedEx.

00:08:17.000 It's like Christmas in your house.

00:08:20.000 So that is...

00:08:21.000 What's the URL, Joe?

00:08:24.000 I'm sorry, what's that?

00:08:25.000 What's the URL?

00:08:30.000 What's the website name?

00:08:31.000 http://slash www dot is it nita fashions?

00:08:43.000 Nitafashions.com.

00:08:45.000 Anita fashions or nita fashions?

00:08:47.000 Anita.

00:08:48.000 N-I-T-A. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Yeah, fashions.com.

00:08:50.000 Why are you adding an A at the beginning?

00:08:51.000 Like Anita Harding? 0.84

00:08:53.000 Oh, no.

00:08:55.000 Nita Fashions.

00:08:56.000 Nita, Nita.

00:08:57.000 Okay.

00:08:57.000 So that's our intro.

00:09:01.000 What are we thinking of Joe so far?

00:09:03.000 Going well?

00:09:05.000 You know.

00:09:06.000 Can you cut to Maddie?

00:09:07.000 Is he making an effort?

00:09:12.000 I'll just wait.

00:09:13.000 There we go.

00:09:14.000 Hey.

00:09:15.000 What do you think?

00:09:18.000 A little rough around the edges, but, you know.

00:09:20.000 Joe's had a very storied career.

00:09:22.000 He's been in the military.

00:09:25.000 He's been in jail.

00:09:27.000 He's been an all-around guy.

00:09:30.000 A medic.

00:09:31.000 He's a man's man.

00:09:32.000 EMT. 0.63

00:09:33.000 What was that story, Joe, where you were on the highway with a helicopter and you got hit by a car and it fucked up your spine? 0.95

00:09:43.000 That's a good story. 0.81

00:09:48.000 That's the story?

00:09:49.000 Yeah.

00:09:51.000 Well, I'll tell the story.

00:09:53.000 Massive pileup on the freeway.

00:09:56.000 He's in the EMT.

00:09:57.000 He's in a helicopter.

00:09:59.000 Lands on the highway.

00:10:01.000 Some guy breaks through the barricades, drunk, hits Joe as he's putting, I think, a kid onto the helicopter. 0.99

00:10:08.000 Fucks up his spine. 0.98

00:10:09.000 He's had a stiff neck ever since. 0.99

00:10:12.000 Is that the way the story went, Joe?

00:10:15.000 Yes.

00:10:17.000 He said yes.

00:10:18.000 I don't know if his mic is on.

00:10:21.000 Yes.

00:10:23.000 Okay.

00:10:25.000 Are you talking to someone there, Joe?

00:10:28.000 Who are you looking at?

00:10:29.000 Oh, no, I'm looking at the keyboard.

00:10:31.000 Okay.

00:10:33.000 Okay.

00:10:34.000 So did I do a good job of your drunk driving story?

00:10:37.000 Sure.

00:10:39.000 All right. 1.00

00:10:40.000 Let's just shoot the shit for a second, Maddie, before we get into the mailbag. 0.99

00:10:45.000 I was just talking to some dads on the phone here and there. 0.99

00:10:50.000 Their prediction is that school does not go back after the Christmas break. 1.00

00:10:55.000 And it's a repeat of last year with fucking Zooms and bullshit. 1.00

00:11:00.000 And you know who really suffers from that is kids in shitty neighborhoods. 1.00

00:11:05.000 Because their parents don't discipline them. 0.90

00:11:08.000 And I talk to these teachers in this neighborhood, in the South Bronx, and they go, out of a class of 30, I'll have three kids.

00:11:17.000 Because the parents are still asleep.

00:11:19.000 I'll have three kids that are ready to go at nine.

00:11:22.000 Two will be playing video games.

00:11:24.000 And one will be like, okay, what are we doing today, teach?

00:11:29.000 Yeah, that's sad.

00:11:32.000 I don't understand what the hell is going on.

00:11:34.000 Can you cut to Maddie, please?

00:11:35.000 He's just talking there in the abyss.

00:11:40.000 So, you know, Monday, obviously, Governor Kathy Hochel, she implemented the mask mandate for the entire state of New York. 0.91

00:11:52.000 What is that now to non-New Yorkers?

00:11:55.000 Everyone in every business, every employee has to be vaccinated.

00:11:59.000 Indoor public spaces, you are required to wear a mask regardless of your vaccination status.

00:12:06.000 So basically, the masks are back on if you want to go to the supermarket, to the gas station, to the bank, to anywhere that's a public space.

00:12:15.000 Wait a minute, but at our bar, you don't have to wear a mask if you have a vaccination card. 1.00

00:12:19.000 I think the businesses have to implement a vaccination verification, but fuck all that shit. 0.99

00:12:26.000 I mean, why would I tell anybody my medical history? 0.99

00:12:30.000 Right, but just for the record, if you have a vaccination card or proof of vaccination, you don't have to wear a mask.

00:12:35.000 But everyone needs at least that.

00:12:36.000 Every gym, if you don't have a vax card, you need a mask.

00:12:41.000 I know my nephew's gym, they said, if you don't have vaccination, you can't go there anymore.

00:12:48.000 He's like, really?

00:12:50.000 It's pretty funny.

00:12:53.000 My sister told me, she goes, he walked in and the girl says, oh, do you have your vaccination card?

00:12:57.000 He goes, well, do you have AIDS?

00:13:01.000 That's the proper reaction.

00:13:02.000 And the girl at the desk just looked at him.

00:13:05.000 Yeah, have you ever had AIDS?

00:13:07.000 Do you have chlamydia?

00:13:08.000 What are your STDs?

00:13:10.000 Yeah, that was the one I saw.

00:13:11.000 I can't remember what state it was, the governor somewhere was getting, he was leaving the podium, and somebody asked him, one of the reporters said, Are you vaccinated?

00:13:20.000 And he turned around and somebody like his assistant or something said, that's a very inappropriate question.

00:13:26.000 He comes back to the podium.

00:13:27.000 He goes, no, no.

00:13:27.000 He goes, do you have any STDs?

00:13:30.000 Have you ever had any STDs?

00:13:31.000 And the guy's like, what?

00:13:33.000 He goes, yeah.

00:13:35.000 You're not going to tell me, so why would I tell you my medical history?

00:13:38.000 You know, where does it end?

00:13:41.000 I still don't believe that HIPAA laws are there to protect our privacy and our own personal.

00:13:48.000 And here's the other thing.

00:13:49.000 Deaths are not going up.

00:13:51.000 This whole thing is over. 0.99

00:13:52.000 We're all about this Omnicron variant, whatever the fuck it's called. 0.86

00:13:56.000 And there's been zero deaths. 0.99

00:13:58.000 It's just more propaganda. 1.00

00:14:00.000 It's more bullshit. 1.00

00:14:02.000 Like, I'm actually impressed today. 1.00

00:14:06.000 I saw a couple of things that said there's a few counties in New York that are like they're fucking the system saying, no, we're not following the mandates. 0.95

00:14:17.000 We don't care what you say. 0.93

00:14:18.000 We're choosing not to enforce or go abide by your mandate. 1.00

00:14:25.000 I'm really surprised by that because I just assumed every politician wants to kiss the governor's ass. 1.00

00:14:30.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00

00:14:32.000 So what are the counties? 1.00

00:14:33.000 Is it Rockland?

00:14:35.000 Rockland, Dutchess, Putnam, and Madison, which I believe is like way upstate.

00:14:41.000 So Rockland is where the Weather Underground killed those two cops in Nyack.

00:14:45.000 Yeah, we come to that.

00:14:45.000 The post office is named after them.

00:14:47.000 Yep.

00:14:48.000 Maybe they're not into Cuomo, the guy who freed the Weather Underground from prison.

00:14:53.000 All right.

00:14:54.000 Shall we dive into the mailbag, Joe?

00:14:57.000 Sure, absolutely.

00:14:59.000 Okay, so I showed you the little thing where you show the doohickey, the mailbag, where we make fun of our ex. 0.98

00:15:10.000 We're going to have to change all this shit now that Ryan's gone. 0.98

00:15:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:16.000 Joe, shut up. 1.00

00:15:18.000 Your parents are dead. 1.00

00:15:23.000 Got to come up with a new song.

00:15:25.000 Got to come up with...

00:15:26.000 Folks at home, if you can come up with a new song.

00:15:29.000 I'm not sure what we're doing with this giant piss screen.

00:15:33.000 There we go.

00:15:34.000 Not getting any audio.

00:15:36.000 Hmm.

00:15:38.000 Anyway. 1.00

00:15:38.000 Ryan, shut up. 1.00

00:15:39.000 You don't have a dad. 1.00

00:15:40.000 Let's take our...

00:15:41.000 What is this?

00:15:42.000 Something.

00:15:43.000 In that Gavin's mailbag.

00:15:45.000 And it's let me touch it.

00:15:46.000 But wait, what comes after Don't Have a Dad? 1.00

00:15:50.000 Ryan, shut up. 0.98

00:15:50.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 0.98

00:15:54.000 Let's take a look.

00:15:56.000 Let's turn our eyes. 0.99

00:15:58.000 Can you pull up the audio for that fucking thing, Joe? 0.99

00:16:01.000 Guys, there's going to be some hiccups. 0.99

00:16:04.000 Ryan was with us.

00:16:15.000 Let me touch it.

00:16:16.000 Let's pour some out for our dead homie, Ryan. 0.98

00:16:18.000 I wonder what he's doing now.

00:16:20.000 Not the smartest move in the world.

00:16:22.000 Probably online slapping the bass.

00:16:26.000 No, he doesn't.

00:16:26.000 He makes songs that slap.

00:16:28.000 Oh, songs.

00:16:29.000 But he plays the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix.

00:16:32.000 But imagine you have a newborn and you decide, I'm going to quit my job.

00:16:36.000 His wife must be thrilled with his awesome decision-making.

00:16:41.000 Ryan!

00:16:42.000 Okay.

00:16:47.000 But, you know, we've had other producers in the past.

00:16:49.000 Ryan was one of many, if you recall. 0.99

00:16:51.000 We had Rat, the guy who was such a pussy, it inspired the Proud Boys. 1.00

00:16:57.000 We had David Cast, who was stolen from me by Laura Ingram. 0.98

00:17:01.000 We had John Sereno, who was fired by Cumius people for asking one of their clients for more money, which I thought was, well, I'm not going to criticize my buddies, but it seemed pretty intense.

00:17:16.000 That was back when the cop ran the show there, Keith the Cop.

00:17:21.000 And then there was Ryan Katsu Rivera.

00:17:24.000 Funny guy, but incompetent. 0.82

00:17:30.000 Almost as bad as Joe. 0.93

00:17:32.000 But this is Joe's first day.

00:17:34.000 Are you going to be getting better at this, Joe?

00:17:37.000 We'll try.

00:17:38.000 We'll do my best.

00:17:40.000 You're going to go to the electric chair?

00:17:44.000 Dude, we don't want you to fry.

00:17:45.000 And why do you keep showing Nita fashions?

00:17:47.000 I think that's been established.

00:17:49.000 Oh, I'm sorry about that.

00:17:50.000 Wrong button.

00:17:51.000 Okay.

00:17:52.000 So I showed you this earlier, Joe.

00:17:55.000 What we do is we go through the mailbag.

00:17:57.000 It should be in the archive section, right?

00:18:00.000 And I thought it would be fun if we just focused on ones that say Maddie, because sometimes people send in letters to Maddie, and we get so many a day that by the time he's back here the following week, it's long gone.

00:18:16.000 So put in the search bar, Maddie.

00:18:21.000 Joe, who are you looking at?

00:18:22.000 Oh, no, I'm just looking at the keyboard here.

00:18:24.000 Sorry about that.

00:18:26.000 There's multiple screens.

00:18:27.000 I'm trying to get it together over here.

00:18:28.000 No, you went to school in Scotland, correct?

00:18:31.000 Elementary school.

00:18:33.000 Oh, I thought it was high school.

00:18:36.000 You know, I was in school in Scotland for a matter of months when I was a very little boy.

00:18:44.000 And there was a kid there.

00:18:45.000 I've told the story a few times.

00:18:46.000 It's my favorite story.

00:18:48.000 And he was very, very poor.

00:18:53.000 He was from Paisley, which was up the road.

00:18:56.000 And he was so poor that his parents didn't have time for him.

00:19:00.000 They were both working.

00:19:01.000 And he had lots of brothers and sisters.

00:19:03.000 And he was the forgotten youngest.

00:19:05.000 So he loved coming to school because there was like, it was warm and there was paper and you could eat stuff.

00:19:10.000 And people looked at him.

00:19:12.000 And he loved it.

00:19:14.000 So he gets a call and they're like, Angus McDougal, please come to the principal's office, Angus McDougal.

00:19:20.000 I think his name was Angus McDougal.

00:19:22.000 And he's like, that's my name.

00:19:24.000 See me.

00:19:25.000 I'm getting announced on the intercom.

00:19:30.000 Not sure what's happening here.

00:19:32.000 And they take him to the principal's office.

00:19:35.000 Did I die?

00:19:36.000 I know.

00:19:38.000 You don't have to.

00:19:41.000 Hey now.

00:19:41.000 Joe's kicking in the middle of the park.

00:19:44.000 This is called learning as we go.

00:19:47.000 Sometimes you don't have time to train a new guy, that's what I'm saying.

00:19:50.000 I bought a city of pants.

00:19:53.000 And he was all excited that he got to go to the principal's office.

00:19:58.000 And then he came back about three hours later, bald as a cue ball.

00:20:03.000 And people were not bald back then.

00:20:06.000 This is 1974.

00:20:09.000 We're all little kids.

00:20:10.000 And there's this little five-year-old.

00:20:13.000 His head is bald as a cue ball.

00:20:14.000 And he comes in, and he's still smiling.

00:20:15.000 Everything was good for him.

00:20:17.000 In retrospect, he's probably beaten by his dad, so he's so happy to be away from him.

00:20:22.000 Sorry to put a bummer spin on that.

00:20:24.000 So we're all like, as he walks down the aisle back to his desk, and we're all fixing it on like, and then he sits down, still smiling, still bald, no eyebrows.

00:20:38.000 And he looks at the class, and we're all looking back at him.

00:20:41.000 Even the teacher was going, and he looks at us all and he goes, I got lace.

00:20:49.000 He was thrilled.

00:20:51.000 So much attention.

00:20:53.000 People touching him.

00:20:55.000 People cutting his hair.

00:20:57.000 I am matter all of a sudden.

00:21:00.000 Okay, you don't have to do anything for this, Joe.

00:21:03.000 I can handle it.

00:21:03.000 There's no graphics.

00:21:04.000 But if there's a picture or a video, I need you to bring it up.

00:21:07.000 Why are you playing the woman background?

00:21:09.000 This should be letters.

00:21:11.000 I need envelopes dancing around behind me.

00:21:13.000 Oh, okay, gotcha.

00:21:14.000 This is not good advertising, especially for the show tomorrow.

00:21:17.000 The marathon tomorrow is about getting our numbers up to 30,000.

00:21:22.000 And blah, blah, blah.

00:21:26.000 We're not really selling ourselves very well.

00:21:28.000 In fact, we're probably losing subscribers in the hundreds.

00:21:33.000 That was not really the objective here.

00:21:36.000 How are we going to do 24 hours with this level of incompetence?

00:21:40.000 Joe, those are not envelopes?

00:21:43.000 Envelopes?

00:21:44.000 Those are envelopes.

00:21:45.000 Nope.

00:21:46.000 Okay.

00:21:48.000 Tricky little buttons.

00:21:50.000 They're very tiny buttons.

00:21:53.000 No more audio. 0.93

00:21:54.000 Because what's going to happen is I think it's kind of funny now that you're fucking up, but then there's going to be when the switch happens. 0.99

00:22:01.000 And it goes from like normal mistakes for a new guy to get your fucking shit together. 0.99

00:22:07.000 And we're drifting into that arena right now. 1.00

00:22:09.000 Oh, for fuck's sake, Joe's off. 0.98

00:22:12.000 Those are not envelopes. 0.99

00:22:13.000 Those are televisions.

00:22:15.000 Envelopes are the things that you lick, that you would put, I don't know, your welfare check in.

00:22:21.000 Hey, right there.

00:22:24.000 All right, Maddie, someone has written a poem for you.

00:22:27.000 Oh, nice.

00:22:28.000 Are you ready for this?

00:22:30.000 I'm ready.

00:22:31.000 I hope I am.

00:22:33.000 For a number of weeks now, one Maddie O'Dell has been gracing the show we call G-O-M-L. 1.00

00:22:41.000 This little monster, with a temper so short, has brought wisdom and flavor, I am glad to report. 1.00

00:22:47.000 He doesn't take shit, and he doesn't like liars. 1.00

00:22:51.000 As a lad, he was raised in a baptism of fire. 1.00

00:22:55.000 He was always a rough boy, as Pete Townsend knows well.

00:22:58.000 But to cross him is to take one quick trip to hell.

00:23:05.000 His intellect uncanny, his insights profound.

00:23:08.000 One of a few in this world who can hold a candle to Eddie Gloud.

00:23:12.000 He couldn't indulge in Joe's lies or his fibs.

00:23:15.000 He was seconds away from destroying his ribs.

00:23:18.000 He's a poet, a preacher, a true bon vivant.

00:23:22.000 We've got Maddie O'Dell.

00:23:24.000 What more could we want?

00:23:26.000 Joe, you're in this poem.

00:23:29.000 P.S. Ryan, you suck, and you've been playing all the segment transitions over the audio for the opening of this show. 0.99

00:23:33.000 Unfortunately, you're talking to someone who has left the company, sir. 0.99

00:23:37.000 But thank you for that.

00:23:41.000 Maybe we should bring up the incident that you and Joe had the other day.

00:23:45.000 No, not yet.

00:23:46.000 Not on his first day.

00:23:47.000 Okay.

00:23:49.000 Because there was some words that were had.

00:23:51.000 I like Joe.

00:23:52.000 Joe's my buddy.

00:23:54.000 Okay.

00:23:56.000 Wouldn't it be funny if Ryan called in?

00:24:02.000 This is called Watch with Maddie.

00:24:06.000 So, Joe, go through the subjects, assuming this didn't come up under Maddie, and find one that says Watch with Maddie.

00:24:15.000 By the way, Maddie, I sent you this.

00:24:16.000 I saw it on ShizMob, and it was a bunch of convicts. 0.71

00:24:20.000 They were making burritos.

00:24:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:22.000 So they had taken the mattress off the bottom bunk, which is all steel.

00:24:26.000 They lit a fire with toilet paper underneath the bed.

00:24:29.000 So isn't that going to set off smoke alarms?

00:24:32.000 Not really.

00:24:32.000 I mean, people like fires all the time.

00:24:35.000 Like, they make tattooing and stuff of fire, and they make all sorts of stuff of fire.

00:24:39.000 What you do is you make a wick, like out of toilet paper.

00:24:43.000 Can someone cut to Matty, please?

00:24:44.000 Joe, can you cut to Matty?

00:24:48.000 No.

00:24:49.000 So you get toilet paper, I don't know, twice a week.

00:24:52.000 The CEOs give it out.

00:24:54.000 During count, they'll just drop two rolls of toilet paper in front of your cell.

00:24:58.000 But if you're need flame, constant flame, is you roll toilet paper up and you twist it until it's thick.

00:25:06.000 And then they take hair grease that they sell on commissary.

00:25:12.000 And they'll fill up like a cup or a coffee cup or and they'll fill it with grease and they'll grease up the wick and they'll light it like a candle.

00:25:19.000 So the grease keeps the, it's like a candle with a cup.

00:25:23.000 Oh, it's exactly like those buffet tables when you get the side or whatever.

00:25:26.000 But they do it with the toilet paper too.

00:25:28.000 I mean, they just put them on there.

00:25:29.000 And I mean, I've seen people make food with, you know, stingers.

00:25:32.000 You know, they use irons, anything that's going to get hot.

00:25:35.000 I mean, probably when that bunk was first used, see how it was painted gray and then it's got a big raw spot in the middle?

00:25:42.000 Yeah.

00:25:42.000 Like the paint, the paint's going to burn.

00:25:44.000 Yeah.

00:25:45.000 That'll do it.

00:25:45.000 But somebody did it at some point where they're going to just find something metal or something and try to scrape all the paint off before they do it.

00:25:52.000 It looked like a party.

00:25:54.000 Okay, Joe, this is probably pretty ambitious for you, but I'm going to try to send you what I am talking about.

00:26:02.000 Where did I send that to you, Maddie, in Instagram?

00:26:06.000 Because I was just so impressed.

00:26:08.000 I think you sent it to me in a message, and then I had to tell you that it was just taking me to the general Shizmabin page.

00:26:14.000 It wasn't like the specific clip.

00:26:16.000 Okay, so, Joe, go to the Shizmabin page.

00:26:20.000 That should be one of our bookmarks.

00:26:22.000 It's a constant source of ours where we get our news.

00:26:26.000 I like how we're seeing as this sinister evil hate list.

00:26:30.000 I'm on the Facebook hate list where you can't say my name.

00:26:34.000 I got restricted yesterday or the other day.

00:26:36.000 For what?

00:26:37.000 Because I wrote the day before the mandate came out, I had the sign that said, you know, New York State implements mask mandate starts December 13th or whatever Monday was.

00:26:53.000 And then somebody wrote in Magic Mark over it, we will not comply.

00:26:58.000 I posted that like Sunday night and it was good.

00:27:01.000 And then the other day, like the next day or Tuesday or whatever day it was, I did it. 1.00

00:27:07.000 I wrote, fuck Tyranny, fuck New York State, do not comply. 0.99

00:27:13.000 But that got restricted and they restricted my account for a couple days or whatever. 1.00

00:27:16.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:27:17.000 You're not allowed to say do not comply. 1.00

00:27:21.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:27:23.000 Wow. 1.00

00:27:23.000 I mean, I understand, you know, if there's some dumb law and the police go, oh, you're not complying. 1.00

00:27:28.000 You have to comply with this law.

00:27:30.000 No, it's not a law.

00:27:31.000 Mandates aren't law.

00:27:32.000 Right, right.

00:27:33.000 But even in that scenario, like jaywalking, whatever, but now you're not even allowed to say verbally.

00:27:38.000 So much for free speech.

00:27:39.000 I mean, so much for free speech, but it's like nobody's dying of Omicron.

00:27:46.000 No one's dying from COVID.

00:27:48.000 Like, it's minimal.

00:27:49.000 It's over.

00:27:50.000 The whole thing is over.

00:27:52.000 It's sort of like where they, at the end of World War II, a lot of Japanese kept their POWs.

00:27:58.000 And Germany kept POWs and made them help rebuild Germany. 0.63

00:28:04.000 They had to eventually get out.

00:28:05.000 I don't know how they eventually got out there.

00:28:07.000 I guess someone let it slip that World War II ended three years ago.

00:28:11.000 Okay, go down.

00:28:14.000 What the hell's that sound?

00:28:15.000 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my phone.

00:28:17.000 I thought I turned it off.

00:28:20.000 What is your outgoing alarm?

00:28:22.000 It's Squad 51 from back in the 70s.

00:28:28.000 Okay.

00:28:30.000 Nope, not Maddie.

00:28:31.000 Nope, not me.

00:28:31.000 Shizmobbin.

00:28:33.000 Nope, not the mail. 1.00

00:28:37.000 And turn off your fucking phone, please. 0.99

00:28:40.000 Okay, so scroll down. 1.00

00:28:44.000 Oh, Lord.

00:28:47.000 Scroll down.

00:28:49.000 Yep, yep, yep.

00:28:52.000 Keep going.

00:28:53.000 Keep going.

00:28:55.000 Okay, not too fast.

00:28:57.000 Yeah.

00:28:59.000 Boy, they post a lot, don't they? 1.00

00:29:01.000 Shit, I hope it was shizmobbin. 1.00

00:29:06.000 No. 1.00

00:29:06.000 No, I think it might have been Grindface. 1.00

00:29:08.000 Shit, it was. 0.99

00:29:09.000 Sorry. 0.99

00:29:09.000 Go to Grindface. 0.99

00:29:11.000 Grindface.

00:29:13.000 How did they get cameras into the prison?

00:29:15.000 Smuggling cell phones. 1.00

00:29:17.000 Where up, your ass? 1.00

00:29:18.000 Well, guards. 1.00

00:29:19.000 Like, say if you were in MDC in Brooklyn or MCC in Manhattan, it probably cost you $3,500 for a phone.

00:29:27.000 How do you get that to the guard?

00:29:30.000 Outside.

00:29:31.000 Your people on the outside.

00:29:32.000 So someone on the outside gives the guards, like mom or wife, $3,500.

00:29:37.000 Right.

00:29:37.000 Like, someone will come visit you.

00:29:39.000 You tell them on a visit.

00:29:40.000 You know, you got to send money either.

00:29:43.000 They may send it.

00:29:43.000 You may meet in person.

00:29:44.000 I doubt they'll meet in person, but it gets done quite frequently.

00:29:48.000 Yeah.

00:29:49.000 Like I remember when I was in MCC doing a violation, I worked in the H because I was a cadre there because I was only doing a violation 10 months.

00:30:03.000 And I was working in the H factory.

00:30:06.000 Like that was my job.

00:30:07.000 Turn that off.

00:30:09.000 That's not it. 0.99

00:30:10.000 Fucking go ahead. 0.99

00:30:11.000 Yeah, keep going. 0.99

00:30:13.000 And part of our daily job was to go around.

00:30:16.000 And in each cell, you have a vent that blows in, like fresh air, and then you have a return vent that's on the floor.

00:30:23.000 So anything that you're not supposed to have, like contraband or anything, if you need to get rid of it quick and they shut the water off where you can't flush it, you just throw it down the return vent because there's no screen or anything on it.

00:30:33.000 So we would go, me and my buddy, his name was Archie, and another Scottish guy.

00:30:39.000 Oh.

00:30:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:41.000 And we would go around to where all the vents would come in, like in the ventilation system, and where they came down to an end, they would have a door.

00:30:50.000 And we'd open a door. 0.97

00:30:51.000 We'd find hooch, cell phones, weapons, all sorts of crazy shit. 0.98

00:30:57.000 And that's because the COs were dropping it off there? 0.98

00:31:00.000 No, no, like either somebody's cell was getting searched or they were doing a shakedown.

00:31:04.000 Right, right.

00:31:06.000 You're making prison sound really fun.

00:31:08.000 No, no.

00:31:09.000 Okay, so go back to Grindface there, guy. 0.99

00:31:14.000 1, 1,000, 2, 1,0003, 1,000.

00:31:17.000 Scroll down.

00:31:20.000 Jesus H Christ.

00:31:23.000 If you make me miss Ryan, I'll be impressed.

00:31:27.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:31:31.000 I'm looking for a prison cooking.

00:31:34.000 This should be like a tenth of the time.

00:31:36.000 Oh, there it is.

00:31:37.000 Right there.

00:31:37.000 Left.

00:31:38.000 You see those burritos?

00:31:38.000 Top left.

00:31:39.000 Right there.

00:31:42.000 These guys are having a good time.

00:31:44.000 Nope.

00:31:44.000 You got to click on it.

00:31:46.000 Nope.

00:31:47.000 Nope.

00:31:48.000 Nope.

00:31:49.000 Nope.

00:31:50.000 Wrong video completely.

00:31:52.000 There's the burritos.

00:31:54.000 Left.

00:31:54.000 The burritos.

00:31:55.000 The burritos.

00:31:58.000 The burritos! 1.00

00:32:03.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:32:05.000 It's like this is where I start to wonder if you're hired by the feds to make me go insane. 1.00

00:32:11.000 Right there.

00:32:12.000 Are you a CIA operative?

00:32:15.000 Okay, so there's...

00:32:16.000 I don't get how there's no smoke, really.

00:32:19.000 No.

00:32:20.000 So I guess it's not going to set off any alarms.

00:32:22.000 But there they are.

00:32:24.000 They got Doritos, Zappies, and then they got a giant bucket.

00:32:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:32.000 Cooking food on the weekend in the joint.

00:32:34.000 Wait, I heard music there. 1.00

00:32:36.000 It sounded like fuck you, Dad. 1.00

00:32:39.000 We're not getting these interstitials, are we? 1.00

00:32:44.000 Can I hear the audio for that, please?

00:32:47.000 Lord.

00:32:49.000 Our telethon tomorrow is going to be all about why you left censored TV.

00:32:56.000 All right.

00:32:57.000 I give up.

00:33:01.000 Alright, so we should probably go behind the paywall now. 0.99

00:33:07.000 I wouldn't say you come fuck with our grill, but it's surreal. 0.99

00:33:12.000 Straight up. 0.99

00:33:16.000 Raw cooking food on the weekend.

00:33:22.000 Hey, Joe.

00:33:23.000 Saturday vibe.

00:33:24.000 Do you?

00:33:24.000 Wait, where'd you go?

00:33:26.000 Saturday vibe.

00:33:27.000 Do you, what do you look at on Instagram?

00:33:29.000 What are your hotspots? 1.00

00:33:31.000 Turn that fucking thing off, please. 1.00

00:33:32.000 Just close the entire window. 1.00

00:33:38.000 Wow, this is a catastrophe.

00:33:41.000 What do you like to look at on Instagram?

00:33:43.000 I'm not much of a really Instagram person.

00:33:45.000 What are your social media sites?

00:33:48.000 I don't usually do a lot of social media.

00:33:51.000 There's too much negative stuff out there.

00:33:55.000 Okay.

00:33:57.000 Now, I've always been curious, and no one can answer this for me. 1.00

00:33:59.000 I recall a time about six months ago where you were absolutely drowning in pussy. 1.00

00:34:07.000 You had a different chick over every week, and it was all like, hey, did you get to meet Claudia? 0.99

00:34:12.000 And then she was gone.

00:34:14.000 Then it was Nancy or whoever they were.

00:34:16.000 And they came by and they'd get drunk. 0.94

00:34:19.000 And we had a gay old time with them. 0.88

00:34:21.000 They were pretty reasonable.

00:34:22.000 You're what, 68?

00:34:23.000 Oh, thank you.

00:34:24.000 58.

00:34:25.000 So they were all like 40s and stuff.

00:34:27.000 They all looked pretty darn good to me.

00:34:29.000 And then, poof, no more chicks. 0.99

00:34:32.000 What happened?

00:34:34.000 You meet them on the internet.

00:34:36.000 It's not the same when you meet somebody in person or at a bar or something like that back in, you know.

00:34:42.000 Internet dating is not the way to go.

00:34:45.000 But that doesn't explain how it was nothing, nothing, nothing, sea of chicks, nothing, nothing, nothing.

00:34:52.000 What's that got to do with the internet?

00:34:54.000 That's where you meet them today.

00:34:55.000 It's hard to meet somebody.

00:34:56.000 Well, why did you stop meeting them?

00:34:58.000 Huh?

00:34:59.000 Why did you stop meeting them?

00:35:02.000 I didn't like them.

00:35:03.000 I wasn't into them.

00:35:04.000 After a few months, it was not for me.

00:35:07.000 But why were you into all those chicks and then not into those chicks just overnight?

00:35:13.000 That's it, you know.

00:35:14.000 I just wanted to get us whole.

00:35:17.000 Okay, but why would one be horny for a little while and then not before or after?

00:35:23.000 Can't answer that.

00:35:24.000 It's just the way it is. 1.00

00:35:25.000 Did you get your penis caught in your fly? 1.00

00:35:28.000 No. 1.00

00:35:28.000 No, he's good. 1.00

00:35:29.000 Joey T's good. 1.00

00:35:30.000 Oh, you have a name for your penis? 1.00

00:35:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:33.000 Joey T. You know what my dick's name is? 0.99

00:35:38.000 No, this should be good. 0.99

00:35:39.000 Joe Tonelli.

00:35:44.000 Okay, speaking of convicts, this is the last one before we go behind the paywall.

00:35:49.000 I was told to watch this with Maddie.

00:35:53.000 Breathe, breathe.

00:35:54.000 You know what, dude?

00:35:55.000 Just stop touching buttons if there's nothing going on.

00:35:58.000 So this email is called Watch with Maddie.

00:36:01.000 It says, convicts fighting for money.

00:36:03.000 Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do to Joe. 1.00

00:36:08.000 Sounds like this guy's familiar with the beef you guys had.

00:36:14.000 So play that video. 0.74

00:36:15.000 It's from a guy named Lee.

00:36:17.000 Watch with Maddie is the subject.

00:36:20.000 It arrived across our desk November 18th.

00:36:23.000 We're going way back here.

00:36:24.000 All right, it's almost a month.

00:36:25.000 2021.

00:36:26.000 Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do. 1.00

00:36:34.000 This is not good advertising, is it?

00:36:36.000 Oh, this is ancient Chinese secret. 1.00

00:36:40.000 God damn. 0.99

00:36:42.000 Well, have you ever seen this video, Matt? 0.99

00:36:44.000 A little bit, yeah.

00:36:46.000 I did six years in YA and then 19 months in the joint.

00:36:50.000 What'd you do? 0.98

00:36:52.000 Stabbed him dude in the neck four times. 1.00

00:36:55.000 He was a rat. 0.99

00:36:57.000 Gotta let him know what time it is. 0.76

00:36:58.000 What's one of your most memorable fights?

00:37:01.000 That time that I stabbed that dude.

00:37:03.000 I expected him to drop, but he got up and wanted to fight. 0.53

00:37:07.000 I was pretty scared.

00:37:11.000 My name's Tommy. 1.00

00:37:12.000 I'm fine for telling you fights and I'm here to rat some shit. 1.00

00:37:18.000 I just can hear the stops in fucking. 1.00

00:37:53.000 This is my first pipe, man. 1.00

00:37:55.000 Your first pipe ever.

00:37:56.000 Ever.

00:37:58.000 Are you bullshitting me?

00:38:00.000 He's jolly.

00:38:02.000 So is his orbital socket.

00:38:04.000 He's toast.

00:38:06.000 Yep, you make weird noise when you lock up.

00:38:09.000 You get knocked out on cotton.

00:38:10.000 You're like, ah.

00:38:12.000 It's involuntary.

00:38:13.000 A lot of people's hands go up.

00:38:16.000 And then they don't know what happened at all.

00:38:19.000 They're like, what happened?

00:38:21.000 I've experienced that.

00:38:22.000 I didn't know who my kids were.

00:38:25.000 I knew my wife's Emily. 0.96

00:38:27.000 I knew Emily was an important name.

00:38:29.000 I didn't know why.

00:38:30.000 Why am I in Oakland?

00:38:32.000 Bad times.

00:38:33.000 You ever been knocked out, Joe?

00:38:35.000 Yeah.

00:38:36.000 What happened?

00:38:38.000 Got to a fight and got knocked out.

00:38:40.000 Yeah.

00:38:42.000 What was the fight about?

00:38:44.000 It was about 30 years ago.

00:38:46.000 I can't remember.

00:38:46.000 I don't know who it was about.

00:38:48.000 He was a little intoxicated.

00:38:51.000 Okay.

00:38:52.000 Were you a big drinker back in the day?

00:38:54.000 No.

00:38:59.000 Okay, I think we should wrap it up behind the paywall.

00:39:02.000 Before we go, though, so earlier that thing, they say what Maddie was going to do to Joe.

00:39:09.000 So there was an incident recently where Maddie was mad that you put some bass in your voice.

00:39:14.000 That sounds like prison talk to me.

00:39:15.000 I'm not familiar with it.

00:39:17.000 What does that mean?

00:39:19.000 Well, we were having a conversation and Joe was a little perturbed and like just kind of yelled at me.

00:39:27.000 And I don't take kindly to people yelling at me, so.

00:39:30.000 What did you say to Maddie, Joe?

00:39:34.000 Yeah.

00:39:38.000 You don't recall?

00:39:39.000 This was like a week ago.

00:39:42.000 Not a little longer than that.

00:39:44.000 Two weeks ago?

00:39:49.000 Tactical Walls, Tactical Tim, big support of the show.

00:39:53.000 He's a war vet.

00:39:55.000 He is an American patriot.

00:39:57.000 He's sponsored this show since day one.

00:40:01.000 And it seems that we have a disproportionate number of patriots.

00:40:04.000 And I believe it's because every other sponsor takes the knee because they get harassed by Antifa, by the woke mob, by the DNC, by everyone. 0.82

00:40:14.000 And it means that when you have a bunch of sponsors on a show like this, every single one of them has balls.

00:40:23.000 And Tactical Walls has balls. 0.78

00:40:25.000 However, even if they didn't have balls, you'd still want this in your home. 0.98

00:40:29.000 What a fantastic way to display your guns. 0.97

00:40:32.000 Look at that mod wall.

00:40:33.000 These are all made in America by Americans, Patriot-owned, vet-owned business. 1.00

00:40:41.000 Look at that shit. 0.99

00:40:42.000 And if you live in a shitty state like New York, where it's legal to have any kind of gun, you can get yourself a little kid finger painting and she can put her art on the mod wall. 1.00

00:40:53.000 No, they've got all kinds of places to hide your guns. 0.89

00:40:56.000 They've got places to, from tissue boxes to mirrors embedded in the wall, really quick access, home invasion, any kind of robbery, you're going to be ready and armed.

00:41:08.000 And if they break in, they're not going to be able to find your stuff.

00:41:11.000 Also, if you don't have any guns, you can use it for your kids' baseball display, dirt bike stuff.

00:41:18.000 Joe's not doing the greatest job in the world of showing all the different things that Tactical Walls has.

00:41:22.000 But if you go to tacticalwalls.com, you use promo code Gavin and also Gavin15.

00:41:30.000 They both work.

00:41:32.000 You get 15% off your next order, which they ship to you.

00:41:37.000 Very easy to put together.

00:41:38.000 You need a level and you got to find out where the studs are. 1.00

00:41:41.000 And after that, you're good to go.

00:41:43.000 And the possibilities are absolutely endless with tactical walls.

00:41:47.000 Okay, so we're going to go behind the paywall now and we'll answer a couple more emails directed to Sir Matzalot and then we will take calls.

00:42:02.000 Now taking calls is complicated technically and we have a new engineer here.

00:42:06.000 So I'm predicting it's going to go so badly that we're just going to have to stop and end the show.

00:42:14.000 That's my prediction.

00:42:16.000 But then the next show will be better.

00:42:17.000 How this telethon is going to go, I have no idea.

00:42:21.000 Because this show has been a catastrophe. 0.99

00:42:24.000 And multiply this 50 minutes, 45 minutes, by upwards of 24, and you're going to have a literal shit show. 0.99

00:42:36.000 All right. 0.99

00:42:37.000 So wait, so now we end the show.

00:42:40.000 So, Joe, remember I told you how to end the show?

00:42:46.000 Hello?

00:42:48.000 Yes.

00:42:49.000 Okay, so we're going to end the show like that, and then that makes it, when they have, we put it on a podcast and stuff.

00:42:56.000 So that makes it a nice, you know, bookended, clean ending.

00:42:58.000 But we're not leaving.

00:43:01.000 So do the ending, and then I'm going to fake walk out and come back in.

00:43:05.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:44:05.000 I got the fear.

00:44:08.000 I'm sure there ain't no cure.

00:44:12.000 So will I go to go!

00:44:27.000 So we're going to have a tattooist tomorrow.

00:44:31.000 Yes.

00:44:31.000 Who's coming in?

00:44:33.000 She's got a terrible name, Dowdy, Lauren Dowdy. 0.91

00:44:36.000 Oh, where she has a white blind. 1.00

00:44:37.000 Make you think of an old lady.

00:44:39.000 But she's a very attractive young lady. 0.94

00:44:41.000 Or Nora Shelby. 1.00

00:44:42.000 And, you know, she's way out Chicago ways. 1.00

00:44:46.000 But so we can all get tattoos tomorrow.

00:44:54.000 I want to get an Antifa tattoo here of an anarchy raven with an anarchy bomb, because I'm Antifa.

00:45:01.000 And then I want to get Mr. Mett smoking a cigarette, just his head.

00:45:05.000 And then I want to get Pepe the Frog as Michael Jackson with the words Michael Frog Jackson.

00:45:15.000 Those are my goals.

00:45:18.000 Okay?

00:45:25.000 As Joe, that's a new one.

00:45:28.000 Never been done.

00:45:29.000 We have a guy going To the bathroom in the middle of the show.

00:45:33.000 So we will not be cutting to you, Maddie.

00:45:36.000 No.

00:45:36.000 If you budwire yourself right now, it will not be caught on tape.

00:45:42.000 No.

00:45:42.000 That'll be the end of that.

00:45:45.000 The inspiration for Nice Shot Man.

00:45:47.000 We just had a break.

00:45:49.000 Yeah.

00:45:50.000 He could have gone pissed then.

00:45:54.000 This is a real catch, this guy.

00:45:56.000 Yeah.

00:45:57.000 I still don't miss Ryan, though.

00:46:00.000 But I'm getting there.

00:46:02.000 I'm getting there.

00:46:03.000 Yeah.

00:46:11.000 Ryan ruins everything.

00:46:13.000 Oh, good.

00:46:14.000 This will help me deal with my new hire.

00:46:18.000 I got him from Zip Recruiter.

00:46:21.000 I don't recommend you use Zip Recruiter.

00:46:23.000 Just kidding.

00:46:23.000 Don't sue me.

00:46:24.000 I didn't. 1.00

00:46:25.000 Dude, what the fuck? 1.00

00:46:26.000 You add someone else into the mix and Ryan can't handle it? 1.00

00:46:29.000 Fucking horrible audio. 0.99

00:46:30.000 Gavin has an echo. 0.99

00:46:31.000 Oh, so they're going back to the John Pierce episode. 0.98

00:46:39.000 Hey, fags, not Maddie. 1.00

00:46:40.000 Okay, that doesn't really count as a Maddie letter. 0.99

00:46:45.000 That's for John.

00:46:47.000 Question for John.

00:46:48.000 Poem for Maddie we already covered.

00:46:56.000 I don't really see Matt.

00:46:58.000 Sorry about that.

00:47:03.000 I've never, ever in my life seen a show where someone walked past the camera.

00:47:17.000 Wow.

00:47:19.000 Why is this in the Maddie pile?

00:47:20.000 I don't see your name anywhere.

00:47:22.000 Oh, it's just a list of the end.

00:47:24.000 I want specifically Maddie stuff.

00:47:29.000 Okay, this one sort of mentions you, but whatever. 0.98

00:47:32.000 Hello, gay Santa. 1.00

00:47:33.000 That must be me. 0.99

00:47:35.000 Slanty Eyes Elf. 0.98

00:47:37.000 That was our ex-employee, Ryan.

00:47:39.000 And Maddie, the weak-hearted trike rider. 0.98

00:47:42.000 I've taken your advice the past two or three years now and haven't said shit to my liberal family members and friends during the holiday gatherings. 0.98

00:47:47.000 I didn't say that. 0.96

00:47:49.000 I said the opposite.

00:47:50.000 I said, don't ex your family out of politics.

00:47:53.000 That's a liberal thing. 0.99

00:47:55.000 What the fuck do you think I said? 1.00

00:47:58.000 Don't say shit to your family. 1.00

00:48:00.000 I'm all about family no matter what. 1.00

00:48:04.000 And that's a thing too.

00:48:05.000 When I was a kid, our friends, our gang, and this goes all the way up to fucking our 20s, weren't necessarily all our best friends. 0.88

00:48:15.000 Like, we had, when I was a little kid, there'd be a couple retards in the crew. 1.00

00:48:22.000 Joe, who are you talking to?

00:48:24.000 Oh, I'm just looking at the keyboard, just trying to get used to everything.

00:48:33.000 Okay, I'm just going to say something here.

00:48:37.000 Joe asked if he could bring his girlfriend for his first show.

00:48:42.000 I said, yes, as long as you don't talk to her, as long as I don't see her, as long as I don't know she exists.

00:48:48.000 I said, if you look at her, I will mention it.

00:48:50.000 I'll ask you who you're talking to.

00:48:52.000 So, Joe, the bringing of the girlfriend did not work out.

00:48:57.000 So, please, no offense, whatever your name is, please never come here again.

00:49:02.000 Joe is at work.

00:49:03.000 I don't know why.

00:49:04.000 He needs to bring his old lady, and I mean that strictly in the biker sense, you're not old, to work. 0.97

00:49:13.000 Okay?

00:49:14.000 We agreed that you're coming to work alone from now on?

00:49:17.000 Absolutely, yes.

00:49:17.000 I'm sorry about that.

00:49:20.000 Okay.

00:49:21.000 Now, is it true, Joe, that there was a robbery at the bar you work at and they came with shotguns?

00:49:28.000 You grabbed the shotguns out of their hands and said, you got two choices. 1.00

00:49:32.000 I kick the shit out of you or you run away now. 0.99

00:49:36.000 Did that happen? 1.00

00:49:37.000 No, that didn't happen.

00:49:38.000 A Mexican 23-year-old told me you told him that.

00:49:41.000 No.

00:49:42.000 Okay.

00:49:43.000 Is it true that Stephen Segat...

00:49:46.000 No, Arnold Schwarzenegger saw you in prison, in jail, beat up eight black guys, and he said, you're coming to my dojo, and he trained you to be an excellent fighter.

00:49:56.000 Okay.

00:50:01.000 Only pointing out fun facts for them on the hot topics that get brought up and drop it after that.

00:50:05.000 Okay. 0.99

00:50:05.000 Oh, I see what he means by haven't said shit. 0.99

00:50:08.000 He means like, I haven't started a war, which I did say. 0.99

00:50:11.000 Right, okay. 1.00

00:50:13.000 But fuck that. 1.00

00:50:14.000 I can't do it any longer. 1.00

00:50:15.000 I think by not saying shit to these retards has led to the situation this country is in right now. 1.00

00:50:20.000 I don't even care if I'm wrong about things. 1.00

00:50:22.000 I will not sit there and be quiet, which he spells quite, while they run their stupid fucking mouths. 1.00

00:50:30.000 Merry Christmas, Fags. 1.00

00:50:32.000 Love Brant Bender. 1.00

00:50:34.000 You can say my name because I'm not a pussy, which is ironic because his last name means gay in Britain. 0.99

00:50:40.000 Yeah, I know what you're saying, dude. 0.99

00:50:41.000 My friend, his parents died recently.

00:50:45.000 Excuse me, Gavin.

00:50:47.000 I mean, I interrupt.

00:50:48.000 Can my girlfriend go to the bathroom? 1.00

00:50:53.000 Yes, she may.

00:50:54.000 Okay.

00:50:55.000 All right.

00:50:56.000 Let's try to guess where this is going to go.

00:51:01.000 Like, you see people, even in New York City, you see when someone's taking a picture.

00:51:06.000 Okay, so she's going around the back.

00:51:08.000 When someone's taking a picture on the street in New York, everyone else is like, oh, geez, and they get out of the way or they stop or they go.

00:51:16.000 Not Joe.

00:51:17.000 He just goes right in front of the camera.

00:51:20.000 Photo bombed.

00:51:23.000 So they've got some money.

00:51:26.000 And I don't know how much, you know, middle-class people, the dad dies, it's probably like 500 grand divided by three kids with all the funerals and stuff.

00:51:35.000 They probably end up with like 150 or 120 each.

00:51:41.000 So they got some money.

00:51:42.000 And she's not working now.

00:51:44.000 She's living off the inheritance. 0.81

00:51:46.000 And she's bitching about capitalism at the dinner table where the parents are only there in spirit. 1.00

00:51:52.000 And he's ready to fucking lose it on her and end their relationship. 0.97

00:51:58.000 I don't want him to do that, but I get it. 0.99

00:52:00.000 I'm not saying he should have killed it, but I understand. 1.00

00:52:05.000 Can only eat shit or listen to. 1.00

00:52:08.000 Yeah, I mean, you're lucky. 1.00

00:52:09.000 All your siblings are fucking on the same page as you. 0.99

00:52:16.000 Which is weird. 1.00

00:52:17.000 My younger sister is.

00:52:19.000 My younger brother is not.

00:52:21.000 He's a tie-hard lefty.

00:52:24.000 My older brother, I'm not really sure what his politics are.

00:52:29.000 Kinds of keeps it close under the vest.

00:52:31.000 Did you just hit the camera?

00:52:35.000 She just hit the camera. 1.00

00:52:36.000 High heels.

00:52:40.000 Your older brother, you're not sure where he is?

00:52:43.000 I just assume all cops are MAGA.

00:52:45.000 Is that naive?

00:52:46.000 I think he leans more that way.

00:52:48.000 I mean, I'm not 100% sure.

00:52:50.000 Are you guys not speaking?

00:52:52.000 No, we do.

00:52:52.000 I spoke to him on Thanksgiving and stuff like that.

00:52:55.000 That is close.

00:52:58.000 I talked to my brother 24 hours ago.

00:53:01.000 Politics didn't come up.

00:53:03.000 Okay.

00:53:04.000 Now we have a new problem.

00:53:05.000 Now I'm worried that you and your eldest brother are not close.

00:53:08.000 No, no, we are.

00:53:09.000 How often do you speak to him?

00:53:12.000 At least two or three times a month.

00:53:15.000 I guess that's normal, yeah.

00:53:18.000 So, yeah, I totally understand what you're saying. 1.00

00:53:22.000 And you can only take so much abuse before you start feeling like a fucking cuck. 1.00

00:53:27.000 But if someone is dumb enough to fuck with a family gathering by bringing in how evil Trump is, then they're a stupid bitch. 1.00

00:53:38.000 And the odds of you yelling at them and them going, huh, that's a real wake-up call, are zero. 1.00

00:53:46.000 So just think of it as a petulant 12-year-old.

00:53:49.000 Are you going to convert them? 0.92

00:53:51.000 No. 1.00

00:53:52.000 So it's either say goodbye to your dumb bitch sister. 1.00

00:53:55.000 Again, when I was a kid, we had retards in our club. 1.00

00:53:59.000 We tolerated them.

00:54:00.000 They were great.

00:54:01.000 We'd play with them.

00:54:02.000 Or when I was a very little kid, like 10, your buddy would be there.

00:54:07.000 And the only way his mom let him out was if he brought his little brother or little sister along.

00:54:12.000 So you'd be playing, doing stuff, and there'd be a four-year-old there.

00:54:15.000 You didn't mind.

00:54:16.000 You made sure they didn't get in traffic and stuff.

00:54:18.000 And then when I got older, you know, you look at Archie comics, there's Moose, Big Dumb Moose.

00:54:24.000 We had this guy, Paul Cahias. 1.00

00:54:26.000 He was an imbecile and an over-the-top dramatic bitch. 1.00

00:54:32.000 He dressed like a beetle. 1.00

00:54:33.000 He had a beetle's cut with like pointy little boots.

00:54:36.000 And we called him the Greek tragedy because he was Greek.

00:54:40.000 And we would wear pins that said Paul Cahias, the Greek tragedy. 0.89

00:54:44.000 Like taking the piss out of him was part of our culture.

00:54:47.000 We would be, you know, devastated if he ever moved out of town. 1.00

00:54:50.000 We loved him, but he was a retard and we hated him. 1.00

00:54:54.000 But he was your. 0.99

00:54:55.000 He was our retard. 1.00

00:54:56.000 So you don't have to have this perfectly symbiotic relationship with everyone.

00:55:01.000 It can even be acrimonious.

00:55:03.000 Like Joe and us.

00:55:06.000 Or Jimmy.

00:55:07.000 Joe and I have had some words.

00:55:08.000 Maddie asked him to go outside.

00:55:11.000 Or Jimmy.

00:55:12.000 Jimmy's a liberal.

00:55:14.000 That's the other bartender.

00:55:15.000 But as, you know, rational adults in a society, we got through it.

00:55:24.000 We worked it out.

00:55:26.000 And now everything's copostetic.

00:55:29.000 Yeah.

00:55:30.000 As rational adults in society, dope.

00:55:36.000 Okay, what's going on over there, Joe?

00:55:39.000 I think he's rearranging the tactical wall.

00:55:42.000 I told us.

00:55:45.000 All right.

00:55:45.000 I told him to stay still.

00:55:48.000 Here's what's going to happen.

00:55:49.000 We're going to go to calls.

00:55:50.000 People are going to ask you questions.

00:55:52.000 You're going to do your usual to, I don't know, like you've been doing this whole show.

00:55:58.000 So, actually, you haven't said seriously yet.

00:56:02.000 Seriously?

00:56:04.000 Really?

00:56:06.000 There we go.

00:56:06.000 I love it.

00:56:10.000 So I'm not going to, I don't want you to call with Joe questions, please.

00:56:17.000 Actually, you can throw that out. 0.99

00:56:18.000 That's Ryan's shit. 1.00

00:56:27.000 Are you trying to get fired? 1.00

00:56:29.000 Oh, this is what these welfare types do. 1.00

00:56:31.000 They show up for work, they do a shit job, they get fired, and then they can go tell their counselor or whatever that they did their best. 0.99

00:56:39.000 Okay, so we're going to take calls now. 0.99

00:56:45.000 Wait, okay, wait a minute.

00:56:46.000 What's this?

00:56:47.000 Basically, a group of girls invaded and jumped a family's home, even jumped the mother. 0.82

00:56:51.000 This is so sad and evil.

00:56:52.000 At the end of the video, you can see a girl who took off her mask, and her name is Saima Abdella.

00:56:57.000 Hope she gets locked up.

00:56:59.000 What's up, Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan? 0.90

00:57:00.000 I remember when Trump said Somalian refugees were a disaster for Minnesota.

00:57:04.000 Fast forward a few years, and they're breaking into people's homes to jump them.

00:57:08.000 Whoever is the Republican nominee in 2024 needs to run on zero immigration and mass deportation of criminals who immigrated here. 0.65

00:57:15.000 Also, Maddie was spot on last week. 0.98

00:57:17.000 DeSantis Gabbard is an awesome ticket.

00:57:20.000 All right, I don't think you're going to be able to find this, Joe.

00:57:23.000 It's called Minnesota Somalian Teens Jump Daughter and Mother in Their Own Home. 0.93

00:57:29.000 Okay, wow, I'm impressed.

00:57:32.000 You're supposed to have me in the bottom right corner, though, but whatever.

00:57:36.000 Nope.

00:57:37.000 Close.

00:57:38.000 So just show that.

00:57:40.000 I remember that. 1.00

00:57:41.000 So these Somalians show up to this chick's house because she was talking shit. 1.00

00:57:45.000 And they go and beat up the Somalian mother and daughter. 1.00

00:57:49.000 I actually don't care about this.

00:57:52.000 This is a refugee brawl. 1.00

00:57:54.000 This is immigrates fighting each other. 1.00

00:58:03.000 I just read the other day about a bunch of guys storming a house with baseball bats.

00:58:07.000 Ten of them going and chase the residents out.

00:58:12.000 You got to hope you'll have time to grab your gun.

00:58:15.000 Maybe not.

00:58:15.000 And then what'd they steal?

00:58:16.000 An iPad Touch. 0.99

00:58:18.000 Who the fuck that is? 0.99

00:58:20.000 And a couple phones. 0.99

00:58:22.000 I don't like that like phones.

00:58:24.000 Which I assume you can't use after a while.

00:58:26.000 You need someone to flash them.

00:58:28.000 You can just sabotage your phone, right, if it gets stolen?

00:58:32.000 You could remotely erase it.

00:58:36.000 Yeah.

00:58:36.000 But the thing is, you need someone to flash it.

00:58:39.000 Like, you'd have to erase the entire phone, which isn't that...

00:58:43.000 I mean, I mean, there's people out there that do it, obviously, because people steal phones and get rid of them.

00:58:49.000 But not a lot of people do it.

00:58:51.000 I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of people that do it, but it's not like a talk.

00:58:57.000 You're going to find somebody local that's going to do it.

00:58:59.000 Yeah.

00:59:01.000 All right.

00:59:02.000 Let's give up on this letters page.

00:59:04.000 We're not yet giving up on Joe. 0.98

00:59:09.000 Let's fucking go to take some, we're going to take some calls. 0.97

00:59:17.000 Do not get your hopes up. 0.99

00:59:19.000 Yeah.

00:59:20.000 Keep your hopes very low. 0.99

00:59:22.000 This is already complicated for Ryan the retard. 0.99

00:59:25.000 So someone who's never done this job before and who walks in front of cameras, goes pee and knocks shit over. 0.99

00:59:32.000 I look forward to it. 0.99

00:59:34.000 It's going to be a nightmare.

00:59:36.000 But anyway, so play the thanks for calling thing.

00:59:40.000 Here, let me get the mic. 0.99

00:59:48.000 You're living in an ageism era where children are seeing as human garbage. 0.99

01:00:00.000 Stop, please. 0.99

01:00:00.000 That's the war on kids. 0.99

01:00:02.000 I'm sure it'll come up in the calls.

01:00:04.000 But we're now doing the calls.

01:00:06.000 So go to the thanks for calling thing.

01:00:16.000 No, no.

01:00:16.000 You only get one thing.

01:00:20.000 Joe's been getting a lot of things.

01:00:24.000 My thing with Joe Tonelli is 704 on the air. 1.00

01:00:31.000 This is a fucking loser. 0.99

01:00:33.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00

01:00:36.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:00:38.000 You have one thing.

01:00:39.000 Thank you for calling.

01:00:40.000 It's great hearing from you.

01:00:42.000 All right, next call.

01:00:46.000 Wow.

01:00:49.000 This is the end of my career.

01:00:52.000 I had a good run.

01:00:53.000 Do I look kind of blurry to you?

01:00:57.000 Joe?

01:01:00.000 I seem blurry to me.

01:01:04.000 All right.

01:01:04.000 Do we have any calls?

01:01:05.000 Does anyone care?

01:01:06.000 Is there anyone out there out of 25,000 people?

01:01:10.000 Is there anyone left after Ryan left?

01:01:21.000 I feel blurry.

01:01:24.000 Remember that Woody Allen movie where a guy was blurry?

01:01:26.000 That was a pretty good concept.

01:01:28.000 That was back when he was unbridled and could be as creative as he wanted to be. 0.99

01:01:34.000 I don't know if he fucked his stepdaughter. 1.00

01:01:40.000 I think it's fucking weird that you fucked your adopted daughter. 1.00

01:01:42.000 That's the weird thing, too. 1.00

01:01:44.000 The weird thing about Woody Allen is it's like, no, no, I didn't fuck my daughter. 1.00

01:01:48.000 I fucked my adopted daughter. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Oh, that's way better. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Phew.

01:01:56.000 Like with the Holocaust deniers, they go, they didn't gas anyone.

01:02:01.000 They just rounded up a bunch of Jews for being Jews.

01:02:05.000 And then when the infrastructure was bombed, they couldn't get food to their POWs, so their POWs died.

01:02:14.000 And you go, oh, okay, that's way better.

01:02:17.000 So only 300,000 Jews died after being rounded up because of their religious preference.

01:02:25.000 Oh, that's fine.

01:02:27.000 I didn't know it was so mild.

01:02:34.000 Have them calls, yo.

01:02:37.000 Okay, how are we doing here?

01:02:38.000 I think I'm almost there.

01:02:39.000 Almost there.

01:02:43.000 This is embarrassing.

01:02:45.000 And I know my enemies are watching this episode and going, not only is this loser deteriorating in front of our very eyes, but he did this right before he set up a 24-hour telethon, which is going to be an absolute failure.

01:03:01.000 Oh boy, I can't wait.

01:03:03.000 This is like, and it's ironic too.

01:03:05.000 Maybe God set this up because I've just spent a week gloating about Chris Cuomo and Andrew Cuomo. 0.99

01:03:12.000 And I was like, I love when my enemies finally get fucked. 0.99

01:03:15.000 And ha ha ha. 0.99

01:03:17.000 And I'm still rocking.

01:03:19.000 I'm still here doing great.

01:03:22.000 Barely.

01:03:22.000 I'm doing great.

01:03:24.000 But those losers finally fucking died. 1.00

01:03:27.000 And I'm still the little engine that could. 1.00

01:03:30.000 And I'm the little engine that can't.

01:03:31.000 Thanks to Joe Tonelli.

01:03:36.000 Okay.

01:03:39.000 We've got this road.

01:03:41.000 This probably could have been handled a little earlier, Joe.

01:03:46.000 But can you go, Joe, go up, leave your desk.

01:03:52.000 Get a road.

01:03:52.000 Take off your headphones.

01:03:54.000 Hang yourself. 1.00

01:03:55.000 Shoot yourself in the face. 1.00

01:03:57.000 Actually, do that tomorrow. 1.00

01:03:58.000 But no, get up from your desk, please, sir.

01:04:04.000 And go over to this camera, camera one, and tell me that it's focused.

01:04:11.000 Because I'm feeling very blurry.

01:04:13.000 That feels very sharp.

01:04:15.000 That feels very blurry.

01:04:18.000 That feels very sharp.

01:04:21.000 If I look ugly, then you've done a good job. 0.72

01:04:26.000 As Vladimir Putin says, don't get mad at the mirror because you look ugly.

01:04:30.000 Now that's focused.

01:04:32.000 I'm stunned you were able to do that, by the way. 1.00

01:04:36.000 You fucking monkey. 1.00

01:04:38.000 He is Coco the gorilla. 1.00

01:04:42.000 Wouldn't it be funny?

01:04:43.000 Coco's dead, I believe.

01:04:45.000 But wouldn't it be funny, Joe, if we could take you and Coco and put you together and show you some basic sign language?

01:04:51.000 And wouldn't it be funny if they just blossomed?

01:04:55.000 Like, oh my God, they're up all night chatting.

01:05:06.000 I feel like you guys would become best friends.

01:05:14.000 Coco to Gorilla.

01:05:18.000 Got a way to get on my skin, but all right.

01:05:22.000 What do we got?

01:05:22.000 Do we have a call yet?

01:05:27.000 Any day now.

01:05:29.000 Any day now!

01:05:33.000 You are connected as the host.

01:05:36.000 Welcome, host.

01:05:37.000 You are now in the host room and can manage your callers from the Colin Studio web interface.

01:05:43.000 Thanks for showing the process, Joe.

01:05:45.000 The process is very important.

01:05:51.000 Too many buttons here.

01:05:52.000 The knobs are buttons and the knobs.

01:05:56.000 It's like he's stuck in a submarine.

01:05:59.000 I love how he has Billy Bologna and Peewee Herman behind him, and he has no idea who they are.

01:06:06.000 Welcome, host.

01:06:07.000 You are now in the host group.

01:06:09.000 Callers from the Collins Studio Let Entertainment.

01:06:12.000 What a great show.

01:06:15.000 You're live on here.

01:06:17.000 Okay.

01:06:18.000 Thanks, Joe.

01:06:20.000 Is the caller there?

01:06:24.000 Am I on?

01:06:26.000 Yeah, I hope so.

01:06:26.000 Can you hear me?

01:06:27.000 Can you hear us?

01:06:29.000 Yeah, I can hear you.

01:06:31.000 Okay, how you doing?

01:06:32.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:06:33.000 Yeah, look, I just wanted to know how this recovering crack addict is allowed to have a beer on your show.

01:06:40.000 Is that Maddie or me?

01:06:45.000 No, the other old guys in his 60s. 0.97

01:06:48.000 Oh, Joe Tonelli.

01:06:53.000 That's right.

01:06:54.000 Yeah, that's a good question.

01:06:56.000 Joe, were you a crack addict?

01:07:02.000 Doesn't want to answer it.

01:07:04.000 All right.

01:07:04.000 Good luck with the show, boys.

01:07:06.000 I got to go.

01:07:10.000 That's sort of like that's how the end of my career would sound, right?

01:07:14.000 It's the customer saying, good luck with everything, guys.

01:07:17.000 I've got to go.

01:07:18.000 You must have been an awesome.

01:07:20.000 Like, I love you.

01:07:21.000 You did a great job.

01:07:23.000 You had a good run.

01:07:23.000 I enjoyed vice in the 90s.

01:07:27.000 Oh, we got someone else there, Joey?

01:07:29.000 Gavin.

01:07:30.000 Yeah.

01:07:33.000 I had the beep. 1.00

01:07:35.000 Ride the fucking beast. 1.00

01:07:39.000 That should become our new motto, ride the beast. 1.00

01:07:41.000 There you go.

01:07:43.000 Yeah, okay.

01:07:43.000 All right.

01:07:44.000 So we're in, huh?

01:07:45.000 You're in.

01:07:46.000 You're on the air.

01:07:48.000 All right. 0.99

01:07:49.000 Tell 911, my nigga. 1.00

01:07:50.000 Yeah, this is gang gang shit, motherfucker. 1.00

01:07:53.000 You don't know who my wife is. 1.00

01:07:55.000 So, hey, Gavin, we actually had a question for you about calling mutuals and showing up to a bar for them.

01:08:04.000 I don't speak that language. 1.00

01:08:06.000 Is that a proud boy shit? 1.00

01:08:07.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

01:08:08.000 Calling mutuals?

01:08:09.000 That's usually like a cop or a farming term.

01:08:12.000 Yeah, no, if they speak to the shifts.

01:08:17.000 Well, that's mutual aid.

01:08:19.000 Like the show's kind of mutual aid. 0.95

01:08:22.000 So we were just wondering, like, when one proud boy calls out another proud boy for a mutual and they show up at the bar, do you A, fuck the mutual or B, call down one Monday and say you're going to sue? 0.94

01:08:39.000 It sounds like a loaded question and it doesn't sound very sincere. 0.92

01:08:43.000 So what's the mutual here? 0.99

01:08:44.000 Is that a chick that everyone wants to fuck? 1.00

01:08:46.000 Very honest. 1.00

01:08:47.000 Very sincere.

01:08:47.000 Very honest.

01:08:49.000 Okay, so I'm sorry.

01:08:52.000 I'm having trouble understanding this here.

01:08:54.000 So let's define a mutual first.

01:09:00.000 Let's define a mutual first.

01:09:02.000 Okay, oh, good.

01:09:04.000 I can actually hear you a lot better now.

01:09:05.000 So when two Prowboys have a problem that can't be solved through bitching on Telegram, and one says, I'm going to call mutual on you. 0.99

01:09:17.000 I want to fight.

01:09:18.000 And then the other one actually shows up for the fight.

01:09:22.000 And are you supposed to do the fight, find a place to do it that's nearby, or are you supposed to call 911 and say you're going to sue?

01:09:33.000 So the latter's a no.

01:09:35.000 But before we get to this, why wasn't this beef handled via Sharia law at a meetup?

01:09:43.000 Oh, because different chapters.

01:09:47.000 Hmm.

01:09:48.000 I never thought of that.

01:09:51.000 When we created this club, we hadn't really ironed out the possibility of intra-chapter beef because there was really just the Manhattan chapter and a couple West Coast chapters. 0.99

01:10:08.000 Joe, what the fuck are you doing? 0.98

01:10:10.000 Showing my shelf and some flying mail? 0.99

01:10:13.000 Get back to me, please.

01:10:14.000 Really?

01:10:15.000 I would say they got to fight.

01:10:17.000 And that happened all the time.

01:10:20.000 You'd have Tiny was always fighting within the club in a good way, where he was like, he said he wants to leave the club, and then he changed his mind and said, I'm actually in.

01:10:33.000 I don't know what I was talking about.

01:10:34.000 So this dude, Chris, was like, you can't do that.

01:10:37.000 You can't say you're out and then say you're back in.

01:10:40.000 So Tiny goes, okay, let's fight.

01:10:42.000 And Chris was like, all right, let's do it.

01:10:44.000 So they fought in a parking lot.

01:10:50.000 And the weirdest part about the fight was they took their shoes off.

01:10:54.000 So it was two dudes fighting in a two dudes fighting in a parking lot with no shoes on.

01:11:02.000 And of course, Tiny beat him up.

01:11:03.000 Tiny is the Jolly Green Giant.

01:11:07.000 But I thought it was cool that they wanted to settle their beef like that.

01:11:12.000 That's how men settle beefs. 1.00

01:11:14.000 You know, Max Hare, he used to work on the railroad, and he regularly would get in arguments with his black co-workers.

01:11:23.000 At one point, he was arguing with this guy because he respected them.

01:11:27.000 And the guy was like, you know, the Tulsa, Oklahoma, they killed Black Wall Street. 0.66

01:11:31.000 So the next day, Max would show up and be like, No, that wasn't what happened. 1.00

01:11:36.000 It was a race riot that got out of hand, and you're making up shit. 1.00

01:11:41.000 All your fucking facts are wrong. 1.00

01:11:44.000 So then they'd get, you know, physical. 1.00

01:11:47.000 And then their boss would go, you know what?

01:11:49.000 You guys need to go to the fight room. 0.97

01:11:51.000 In the Grand Central Station, there's a fight room for the guys who swing the hammers and work on the railroads.

01:11:59.000 It's what men do.

01:12:00.000 So they go to the fight room.

01:12:02.000 There's nothing in this room.

01:12:03.000 It's just a room.

01:12:05.000 Nothing you can break.

01:12:06.000 It's underground.

01:12:08.000 And they fought it out.

01:12:09.000 And I don't know if there was a winner per se, probably Max.

01:12:13.000 And that was the end of that.

01:12:14.000 And they had settled it.

01:12:15.000 So I guess you led me on 100 tangents.

01:12:19.000 You know the answer to your question.

01:12:20.000 And the question is, if two men have a beef, they should probably settle it physically.

01:12:26.000 God bless your cotton socks, sir.

01:12:29.000 Thanks. 0.99

01:12:30.000 Can't tell if that guy was fucking with me or not. 0.99

01:12:33.000 How is Tiny doing? 0.99

01:12:34.000 It felt like he wanted to frame me or something.

01:12:37.000 Tiny's doing great.

01:12:40.000 Hello.

01:12:41.000 Hold on a second, Coler.

01:12:44.000 He's going through physical therapy with his ankle.

01:12:48.000 Remember, the bullet went from the front out the back of his heel.

01:12:53.000 Correct.

01:12:53.000 Like you could not have had a worse trajectory for your foot.

01:12:58.000 But he's going through that and he's walking now.

01:13:02.000 He's doing pretty good.

01:13:04.000 Great.

01:13:05.000 Great guy.

01:13:06.000 One of the best guys I've ever met, I got to say.

01:13:10.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:13:11.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:13:12.000 Hey, can you hear me?

01:13:14.000 Yes, sir.

01:13:16.000 Okay, I actually have a question about my relationship, if you could help me out.

01:13:21.000 So I've been watching you since Red Eye, you know, Rebel, all that good stuff.

01:13:25.000 And you've always said you don't always have to agree politically or everything like that with your partner.

01:13:31.000 It's more about starting a family.

01:13:35.000 Would you say that you would still think that way?

01:13:38.000 Absolutely.

01:13:40.000 She's not your soulmate.

01:13:41.000 You don't have to be best friends.

01:13:43.000 You don't have to like the same bands.

01:13:45.000 My wife hates Generation X, the band.

01:13:48.000 I don't know why.

01:13:51.000 But I do get where you're going here. 0.61

01:13:53.000 And we are living in clown world. 0.98

01:13:56.000 If my wife was part of the clown world movement, which has gone off the fucking deep end, that's kind of different. 0.98

01:14:04.000 I mean, people are talking about never speaking to someone who's not vaccinated ever again. 0.99

01:14:09.000 That's really a person going insane. 0.92

01:14:13.000 So if your wife is that nuts, what do you do? 1.00

01:14:18.000 That's a good, if that's where you're going, I think that's a good question.

01:14:21.000 And if it's not, you should pretend that's where you're going because that's a good question.

01:14:25.000 Do you want to know any backstory on our relationship or anything, like her beliefs or anything like that?

01:14:30.000 Yes, I'd love to.

01:14:30.000 I'm sorry.

01:14:31.000 I went off on a tangent.

01:14:33.000 No, you're fine.

01:14:34.000 So basically, she's 22.

01:14:36.000 I'm 24.

01:14:37.000 She's still in college and everything.

01:14:39.000 So, you know, you can imagine what you have to deal with with that.

01:14:42.000 But believe it or not, she knows what I believe.

01:14:46.000 She knows what I think.

01:14:47.000 She knows I'm a Trump supporter.

01:14:48.000 She knows I was part of the Proud Boys.

01:14:50.000 She knows all this about me.

01:14:51.000 You're not anymore.

01:14:53.000 No, no, I'm not anymore.

01:14:54.000 But that's because the Atlanta chapter kind of broke down a little bit.

01:15:01.000 But, yeah, so, but she knows all that.

01:15:05.000 She knows what I believe.

01:15:06.000 And I know what she believes.

01:15:08.000 She's still really young, not very, I would say, like, young in the mind when it comes to these things.

01:15:13.000 She doesn't know a lot about like policy and everything like that.

01:15:16.000 But she's actually, she told me that she thinks communism is a good idea.

01:15:19.000 So I'm trying to convert her. 0.74

01:15:21.000 But she's also very heavily Christian, very family-oriented.

01:15:25.000 Like she comes from a two-parent household, everything like that.

01:15:27.000 So I'm thinking maybe as time goes on, she'll kind of convert it.

01:15:31.000 Yes, absolutely, dude.

01:15:33.000 When I was 18, I was all about communism. 0.99

01:15:36.000 I wore a fucking pin on my leather jacket of Lenin. 0.99

01:15:39.000 Maybe not 18, maybe 17 or 16. 1.00

01:15:42.000 But that's perfectly normal for young people.

01:15:45.000 You know what they say?

01:15:46.000 If you're not socialist when you're young, you have no heart. 0.97

01:15:49.000 If you're not conservative when you're old, you have no brain.

01:15:52.000 A 22-year-old is allowed to consider communism. 1.00

01:15:56.000 That's just a silly fad. 0.88

01:15:57.000 I say you should.

01:15:59.000 I think a really big indicator of success in marriage is parents being together. 0.98

01:16:05.000 I mean, my wife and I have had some fucking rocky times, boys. 0.83

01:16:11.000 Even without all the Karens and the political stuff. 0.98

01:16:14.000 Like, we've had some fights.

01:16:16.000 I remember one time, and thanks for calling, by the way, but wet her up. 0.99

01:16:20.000 You got one. 0.99

01:16:21.000 She was like, she tends to buy shit that's a homework assignment for me. 0.99

01:16:28.000 So she'll buy like some back terrace for vines with the lattice system and all this shit. 1.00

01:16:35.000 And the kit arrives and it's my fucking job. 0.98

01:16:38.000 And I'm like, I don't want vines. 0.98

01:16:39.000 What are you doing?

01:16:41.000 But it's like, I think this would look pretty.

01:16:43.000 It looked nice on the internet.

01:16:44.000 Okay, I guess I'll spend my entire weekend building a vine system.

01:16:49.000 So she got some tree and we had a place upstate.

01:16:54.000 And she's like, I bought this tree.

01:16:56.000 I want you to plant.

01:16:57.000 I'm like, I don't want this tree. 0.97

01:16:59.000 And we live, the thing about upstate New York, if you're near the Delaware and you're in like Eldred, New York, Berryville, New York, Port Jervis, it's all fucking rocks. 0.97

01:17:12.000 So I have actually planted shit up there without a shovel, with just a pickaxe. 0.93

01:17:18.000 So I go in, I fucking slam in, I lift out all the rocks, I put the thing down, the dirt I can deal with with my hands, and then I put the thing in, put the rocks back, and put the dirt back. 0.97

01:17:31.000 That's how rare dirt is up there. 0.91

01:17:33.000 There's never been an industry in that area.

01:17:36.000 And so it's raining out, and I go, and I can't believe I did this, by the way.

01:17:41.000 We were newly married.

01:17:42.000 This was like, we didn't even have any kids. 1.00

01:17:44.000 And I go, you plant the fucking tree. 1.00

01:17:47.000 And we had this huge fight. 1.00

01:17:48.000 And she's out there in the pouring rain with a pickaxe, digging into the ground.

01:17:54.000 And I'd done this a hundred times.

01:17:56.000 We planted apple trees all over our property. 1.00

01:17:57.000 I was like, why don't you fucking try it, you fucking bitch. 1.00

01:18:01.000 And she's planting it, and she's like crying in the rain. 1.00

01:18:04.000 And it's like, Why do you hate me?

01:18:07.000 Like, that one fight, which I barely remember, would have ended most marriages.

01:18:13.000 And we moved on like two days later because both our parents are together and will be till they die. 0.99

01:18:19.000 And we get that there's horrible, terrible mistakes and stupid fights and bad decisions, and you eventually get over it. 1.00

01:18:29.000 So I would say when you're looking for a mate, their parents being together is much more important than if she's stupid enough to consider communism for a second. 1.00

01:18:39.000 Go ahead. 1.00

01:18:41.000 Women consider all kinds of stupid shit. 1.00

01:18:43.000 Have you heard their music? 1.00

01:18:50.000 Go ahead, call her.

01:18:57.000 I feel like there's someone there.

01:18:58.000 I can hear them.

01:19:01.000 Maybe I should put this road mic on my glasses.

01:19:06.000 Is someone there?

01:19:07.000 Joe?

01:19:08.000 Hey, Joe, anybody on the line? 1.00

01:19:10.000 Hey, Joe, do your fucking job! 1.00

01:19:13.000 Are you asking me? 1.00

01:19:16.000 No, we're asking the...

01:19:18.000 No, we're not asking you.

01:19:20.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:19:21.000 We're not concerned with your goings on.

01:19:25.000 I feel like there's someone there.

01:19:26.000 I can hear them.

01:19:28.000 Yeah.

01:19:29.000 Maybe I should put this road marketing.

01:19:31.000 I like this guy.

01:19:33.000 Hey, is that me calling me?

01:19:35.000 Someone there, Joe?

01:19:36.000 Yes.

01:19:37.000 How you doing, sir? 1.00

01:19:39.000 Hey, Joe, Joe, you're fucking gone! 0.99

01:19:42.000 Are you asking me? 1.00

01:19:43.000 The guy listening to the show.

01:19:45.000 Hello.

01:19:46.000 Can you hear me?

01:19:47.000 Please ignore all other sounds.

01:19:50.000 What's up, fellas?

01:19:52.000 What's up? 0.99

01:19:52.000 Maddie looking fine as fuck. 0.99

01:19:54.000 Thank you. 0.98

01:19:56.000 Hey, great show tonight, guys.

01:19:58.000 Loving it.

01:19:59.000 Loving, loving it.

01:20:00.000 Going great.

01:20:00.000 We don't need Ryan.

01:20:01.000 We got our own shit going on. 1.00

01:20:04.000 Yo, you don't need that fucking guy. 1.00

01:20:06.000 Going smooth. 1.00

01:20:07.000 Hey, asking for a friend.

01:20:09.000 And since Joe's there, he might know more about this.

01:20:13.000 But what's your opinion on digit play and pegging?

01:20:19.000 Asking for a friend.

01:20:20.000 Okay, great question.

01:20:22.000 And we don't often get questions directed to Joe, but I think this is a good time for Joe to shine and show that he's not just an incompetent producer.

01:20:31.000 He also has a lot to say about controversial sexual proclivities.

01:20:36.000 Joe, how do you feel about pegging and digit playing?

01:20:41.000 We're not talking about that.

01:20:44.000 No comment. 0.98

01:20:47.000 Why, Joe, you don't like the ass play? 0.99

01:20:50.000 You don't like the digital rectal exam? 0.99

01:20:54.000 I tell my doctor, put two fingers.

01:20:56.000 I want a second opinion.

01:21:00.000 All right.

01:21:00.000 Thanks for calling.

01:21:01.000 Great question.

01:21:01.000 I thought Joe Hannah.

01:21:03.000 Really good.

01:21:04.000 I love you guys.

01:21:05.000 Me too.

01:21:07.000 Welcome to the second last show on Censored.tv.

01:21:15.000 Next call.

01:21:17.000 Joe, you just click on the next call.

01:21:20.000 It couldn't be more intuitive.

01:21:21.000 When I'm done with the call, it goes gray.

01:21:26.000 The next call is the next call.

01:21:30.000 I mean, I don't even know how to explain it to someone.

01:21:33.000 Say you're eating a bowl of blueberries.

01:21:36.000 It looks like he's trying to do a Chinese.

01:21:37.000 When you eat the blueberry that you touched and you chew it, it's gone.

01:21:41.000 Hello.

01:21:42.000 Hello.

01:21:42.000 Hello, John.

01:21:43.000 Can you hear me?

01:21:44.000 Sure, I got.

01:21:45.000 Hi, John.

01:21:45.000 How you doing?

01:21:47.000 Hey, I'm great.

01:21:48.000 Jake.

01:21:49.000 Hello?

01:21:51.000 Yeah, so I wanted to ask Maddie.

01:21:53.000 I got a family member who got in trouble for smuggling drugs across the southern border from Mexico to California.

01:22:03.000 I think it was his first time offense.

01:22:06.000 And I tried Googling what the punishment was, but it's very curious because it's not a topic we talk about with them.

01:22:14.000 And the family that he belongs to, his immediate family, has a big get-together right before Halloween.

01:22:22.000 They said, we've got to get this together and have a party before he goes to prison.

01:22:29.000 Anyway, Thanksgiving came around and he was there.

01:22:32.000 So I was wondering if there's some sort of leniency going on based on all this woke discipline that TA has to do.

01:22:40.000 But you don't get arrested and go right to prison.

01:22:42.000 I mean, you can go through a, your case could take over a year, 14 months.

01:22:49.000 Joe, can you go to Matt?

01:22:52.000 They're still probably trying to work out the evidence and everything.

01:22:55.000 You think?

01:22:55.000 Is that what you mean?

01:22:56.000 Well, you know, I mean, you would have to imagine, I mean, I haven't been in the federal court system in quite some time, but there has to be an extraordinary amount of backlog cases from when, over the last year, since COVID,

01:23:12.000 when everything was shut down and everything.

01:23:14.000 I mean, he's going to get arranged.

01:23:17.000 Depending on where, on what side of the border he got arrested, obviously I would imagine it was New York.

01:23:22.000 So if he's coming through California, it's probably like San Diego near France.

01:23:28.000 Like he's going to go in front of him.

01:23:30.000 He'll get arrested by the CBP.

01:23:31.000 They'll take him to the marshals because those are the ones who process you in federal court, the U.S. marshals.

01:23:36.000 Then you go in front of a magistrate and they set a bail or a bond right there.

01:23:39.000 That all happens within 24 hours of your actual arrest.

01:23:42.000 And then you have to go to what they call pre-trial, what was it, pre-trial?

01:23:47.000 Yeah, the bond was his mom put a second, or took, his aunt took a second mortgage on their house to pay for his bond.

01:23:58.000 Yeah, I've had some high bails.

01:24:00.000 What was he smuggling?

01:24:01.000 $100,000.

01:24:03.000 I mean, yeah, it depends on like...

01:24:05.000 I didn't like it.

01:24:05.000 What did he get caught with?

01:24:06.000 How much?

01:24:07.000 I mean, was it like, did he have a nickel bag of weed in his pocket or did he have like a bag of coke?

01:24:13.000 You have to know all the particulars.

01:24:14.000 Hard.

01:24:15.000 Hard times.

01:24:17.000 That's what I think.

01:24:18.000 Well, in the Fed, 50 grams are better.

01:24:21.000 It's 10 to life.

01:24:23.000 50 grams is less than two ounces.

01:24:26.000 Yeah, because the story that he was always telling all of us during like family gatherings Is he's going to play soccer in Mexico and he's on a travel team and all that.

01:24:35.000 And then, sure enough, he gets popped right around in September.

01:24:40.000 Okay.

01:24:41.000 Well, it sounds like this guy needs to be a little more forthcoming with you about what's going on because you're trying to put pieces of the puzzle together and you don't know anything.

01:24:51.000 Well, he's my wife's cousin.

01:24:55.000 And I get, frankly, I get a little nervous.

01:24:58.000 I'm kind of like Ryan was when you'd always put him on the spot with how he feels about Maddie.

01:25:03.000 So when there's hard crimes going on, I really get, you could hear my voice squeaking and everything.

01:25:10.000 All right, well, if you want to know what's going on with him, all you have to do is go online and go to Pacer, I think it's Pacer.gov, which stands for Public Access to Court Electronic Records.

01:25:20.000 And you just put his name in and it'll come up.

01:25:22.000 And also, Maddie points out there's a whole grid where you can see the crime.

01:25:27.000 Yeah.

01:25:27.000 And the it'll it'll show you his indictment and what he's charged with and stuff like that.

01:25:32.000 But outside of that, you show me that grid.

01:25:35.000 Sentence and guidelines.

01:25:36.000 The sentencing guidelines that goes like...

01:25:37.000 1 to 42.

01:25:38.000 You did this, you've got this, 1 to 42, and you can kind of see where things are going.

01:25:43.000 Right.

01:25:45.000 Thanks.

01:25:46.000 Just before I say goodbye, you said I get uncomfortable the same way Ryan would get uncomfortable when you'd ask him how he feels about Maddie.

01:25:56.000 What are you talking about?

01:25:57.000 That was a few episodes about.

01:25:59.000 A few episodes ago, you said, tell us how you feel about Maddie, Ryan.

01:26:03.000 Come on, be honest.

01:26:05.000 He's like, I like Maddie.

01:26:07.000 It was just funny.

01:26:10.000 There's cordial.

01:26:13.000 You know, you're all cordial.

01:26:15.000 And then it's just that I feel uncomfortable around him just because I don't want to get in a corner or something.

01:26:21.000 Yeah.

01:26:22.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:26:23.000 Yeah.

01:26:23.000 Okay.

01:26:24.000 Thanks for calling.

01:26:26.000 Thank you.

01:26:27.000 Thanks for calling.

01:26:30.000 I like those kind of indie songs.

01:26:33.000 Or I did when I was a young man.

01:26:37.000 What if Ryan secretly resents you, Maddie, for being a successful biker and he always wanted to be a successful biker?

01:26:46.000 A successful biker?

01:26:47.000 Yeah.

01:26:48.000 That's the first time I've heard that term.

01:26:49.000 You were a successful biker.

01:26:51.000 Well, yeah, I mean.

01:26:54.000 I mean, there's successful chess players.

01:26:57.000 There's successful gamers.

01:26:59.000 There's ways.

01:27:00.000 I took it as far as there's metrics for this.

01:27:02.000 Yeah.

01:27:03.000 Successful tattoo artists.

01:27:05.000 We've got a girl coming in tomorrow night who's going to be tattooing us all. 1.00

01:27:11.000 Assuming Joe doesn't blow everything.

01:27:14.000 But are you into getting a bald eagle tattoo?

01:27:18.000 Sure.

01:27:19.000 I have an eagle tattoo on my forearm.

01:27:21.000 Well, it's probably too hairy.

01:27:25.000 We're going to get bald eagle tattoos.

01:27:27.000 Me, I guess Joe and Maddie.

01:27:32.000 Joe is not egregious.

01:27:33.000 Joe, are you going to get a bald eagle tattoo?

01:27:36.000 Too many buttons here, knobs and whatever.

01:27:39.000 All you got to do is do.

01:27:40.000 You already said that.

01:27:42.000 Hey, it's double.

01:27:42.000 Joe, we're getting tattoos tomorrow for the telethon, the marathon.

01:27:47.000 Are you going to be part of that?

01:27:52.000 Joe! 1.00

01:27:55.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:27:56.000 Who knew that someone could make Ryan look like fucking the most talented engineer on earth? 1.00

01:28:03.000 Well, I have to admit, I did have not very high expectations. 1.00

01:28:09.000 Hasn't he been kicked out of two bars for shitting on the walls? 0.99

01:28:13.000 A negative. 0.99

01:28:14.000 No.

01:28:15.000 Yeah, you have.

01:28:18.000 Yeah, you have. 1.00

01:28:19.000 You rub shit on the wall at Duns, and then they made you clean it up, and then you rubbed shit on the wall again. 1.00

01:28:25.000 Why did you do that? 1.00

01:28:27.000 Who are you?

01:28:28.000 Mental patients do that.

01:28:30.000 That's what three-year-olds do.

01:28:32.000 Did you do that?

01:28:35.000 This is not going well.

01:28:37.000 I'm not positive Joe should be taking.

01:28:41.000 I know Ryan's gone, and we need a new producer, but I'm not positive it should be Joe Tonelli.

01:28:47.000 No.

01:28:49.000 What do you think, Joe?

01:28:50.000 Are you perfect for this job?

01:28:54.000 Joe!

01:28:55.000 Almost there.

01:28:57.000 Almost there.

01:28:58.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:28:59.000 Next call.

01:29:00.000 Let's just do the next call.

01:29:02.000 Really?

01:29:03.000 Hey, Joe, when you get a chance, can you fix the screenshot?

01:29:07.000 You've got two Maddies. 1.00

01:29:07.000 You fucking retard. 1.00

01:29:10.000 Can you hear me? 1.00

01:29:11.000 I can hear you, sir.

01:29:13.000 Hey, y'all.

01:29:14.000 Yo, yo. 0.99

01:29:17.000 Hey, I'm a big fan, man. 1.00

01:29:18.000 What'd you run fucking Ryan off and get this nigger-loving faggot in there for? 1.00

01:29:24.000 I don't think he's a nigger lover. 1.00

01:29:26.000 Or a faggot. 1.00

01:29:32.000 You should have said retard. 1.00

01:29:36.000 Retard, dude. 1.00

01:29:37.000 Yeah, that's better.

01:29:39.000 How you daring?

01:29:41.000 I'm all right.

01:29:44.000 Hey, I work at a shop. 0.96

01:29:46.000 We work on bikes and cars and shit. 0.99

01:29:48.000 And I listened to your show during the day on the speaker. 1.00

01:29:52.000 And whenever you talk about little gay cars, it's embarrassing. 1.00

01:29:56.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:29:57.000 Yeah, I'm sure it is.

01:29:59.000 Well, that's the problem of being a New Yorker.

01:30:01.000 You don't get cars.

01:30:03.000 You don't get guns.

01:30:04.000 You appreciate them both if you're a man, but you don't get a lot of access.

01:30:09.000 What about these?

01:30:10.000 I just saw this bike like a few hours ago.

01:30:14.000 It popped up on my Instagram feed.

01:30:16.000 These little 250s. 0.63

01:30:18.000 What are they called again, dude?

01:30:21.000 Queer bike. 0.99

01:30:23.000 What are they called?

01:30:24.000 Julians? 0.96

01:30:26.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

01:30:27.000 You sent it to me.

01:30:28.000 I didn't even look at it.

01:30:30.000 It's like this American-made bike, and I don't know.

01:30:34.000 I really like it.

01:30:35.000 But as you point out, I'm not really...

01:30:38.000 Janice.

01:30:39.000 J-A-N-U-S, Janice Motorcycles.

01:30:42.000 Made in Indiana.

01:30:43.000 They make 250s and 450s.

01:30:46.000 You ever heard of them?

01:30:49.000 No.

01:30:51.000 Well, you should check them out.

01:30:52.000 I think they're cool.

01:30:53.000 What about Moto Goozies? 1.00

01:30:54.000 Are those gay? 0.99

01:30:57.000 Yes. 0.99

01:30:58.000 Harley's are the only good bike.

01:31:00.000 I don't like the aesthetics of Harleys.

01:31:03.000 I'm not impressed.

01:31:05.000 Yeah, I've seen one show you called The Fat Boy a Fat Pig.

01:31:11.000 So, what's the point of your call, sir?

01:31:16.000 I just miss Ryan, and I think it's a work.

01:31:24.000 What do you mean it's a work?

01:31:25.000 It's a scam?

01:31:26.000 It's a joke?

01:31:27.000 I think, yeah, I think Ryan had to go out of town or something.

01:31:31.000 So, you're torturing us all with this guy. 0.99

01:31:34.000 The video is fucked up. 1.00

01:31:36.000 The audio is fucked up. 0.99

01:31:40.000 Joe, I'm sure you're all right, dude. 1.00

01:31:42.000 I've heard stories about you, but you suck. 1.00

01:31:45.000 Yep, I agree. 1.00

01:31:47.000 Hey, do you know where the name Fat Boy comes from for Harley Davidson?

01:31:53.000 No, I don't.

01:31:54.000 It's actually named after the two bombs that we dropped on Japan.

01:31:58.000 Fat Man and Little Boy. 0.99

01:32:01.000 Fucking A. Yeah. 1.00

01:32:03.000 True story. 1.00

01:32:05.000 All right.

01:32:06.000 Thanks for calling, buddy. 0.99

01:32:07.000 Isn't it funny how that was such a great moment in American history, and it's now this fucking horrible shame? 0.98

01:32:14.000 It's become the new slavery. 0.98

01:32:17.000 What's that, Hiroshima?

01:32:18.000 Yeah.

01:32:19.000 And you're like, we ended World War II.

01:32:22.000 You're welcome.

01:32:23.000 Yeah.

01:32:24.000 Well, you know, I had a Japanese girlfriend at one point, and I took her to Pearl Harbor and made her sit on all the guns and everything.

01:32:30.000 She didn't like it. 1.00

01:32:31.000 Did you fuck her extra hard and say like, that's for fucking. 1.00

01:32:36.000 I don't get, like, I care about Pearl Harbor now. 1.00

01:32:39.000 But as a young man, I never gave a shit about it because it was just like some crazy thing a long time ago. 0.99

01:32:44.000 And I remember as a joke, every time I saw Japanese people, I would go, fuck it. 1.00

01:32:48.000 I got to be honest, I'm still pissed about Pearl Harbor. 0.99

01:32:51.000 I actually might be now that I'm 51, but back in like 20s and 30s, it was just a joke.

01:32:57.000 And they were super hurt, I noticed, Japanese people, like with an accent, Japanese.

01:33:03.000 They'd be like, oh, I understand, you're very mad. 0.84

01:33:06.000 And then one guy was like, can you name another time in history where someone had the balls to stand up to America?

01:33:15.000 I was like, wow, you're really sensitive about Pearl Harbor.

01:33:18.000 I guess it's a big thing with history.

01:33:21.000 You know what?

01:33:21.000 In Russia right now, I kind of envy that he was so patriotic about his country, and I was just pissing away Pearl Harbor jokes.

01:33:31.000 All right, let's do another call.

01:33:32.000 I got to piss.

01:33:34.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:33:35.000 Are you asking me?

01:33:37.000 Yeah, Joe, another caller, please.

01:33:42.000 Yo, Gavin, what's going on?

01:33:45.000 What's going on?

01:33:46.000 Is Gavin not there?

01:33:47.000 He's peeing.

01:33:48.000 He had to take a quick piss, so.

01:33:50.000 What's going on?

01:33:51.000 What's your name?

01:33:53.000 My name's Pete.

01:33:54.000 I've been a fan for a long time. 0.99

01:33:58.000 And I'm starting to wonder, too, if this is all bullshit with Ryan. 0.97

01:34:05.000 I think the whole video, how it was shot, it's just weird. 0.98

01:34:12.000 It's like, why would he be recording the argument?

01:34:16.000 I only work on Thursday nights. 1.00

01:34:19.000 Well, I wanted to ask Gavin, if it is true, why the fuck can't they settle this bullshit? 0.99

01:34:31.000 Ryan's a part of the show. 0.99

01:34:33.000 I've been here since the beginning.

01:34:37.000 Can't just get rid of him. 1.00

01:34:38.000 He's got to settle that shit. 1.00

01:34:40.000 But his incompetence is shocking. 1.00

01:34:45.000 Seven, you're crazy. 1.00

01:34:47.000 I love you to death. 0.97

01:34:49.000 I love the show.

01:34:51.000 Best show ever.

01:34:53.000 Okay?

01:34:54.000 Number one.

01:34:56.000 I feel like I've never actually met you, but you're, dude.

01:35:01.000 Have you ever met me?

01:35:03.000 No.

01:35:04.000 So I would, that's probably the inclination for that. 1.00

01:35:07.000 Well, no shit. 0.90

01:35:08.000 What I meant, if I was going to finish, I know we've never met. 1.00

01:35:14.000 Shut the fuck up, Basil. 0.99

01:35:18.000 Regardless, whatever. 1.00

01:35:19.000 You guys got to settle that shit. 1.00

01:35:20.000 Please tell me this is fake. 1.00

01:35:23.000 So you want to know if the Ryan firing is fake.

01:35:28.000 If it's not fake and you guys actually got into an argument, why the hell can't you settle it? 1.00

01:35:35.000 And if it is fake, then I'm a big asshole for fucking buying it. 0.99

01:35:40.000 I like those options. 0.99

01:35:42.000 Thank you for calling.

01:35:45.000 Well, Ryan got up and walked out.

01:35:47.000 It's not like you said you're fired.

01:35:50.000 What do you do?

01:35:51.000 That was a decision that he made.

01:35:52.000 Did you know my parents were talking about divorce like last year?

01:35:57.000 After all these years?

01:35:59.000 Yeah.

01:35:59.000 They've literally been married for 50 years, half a century.

01:36:03.000 And I'm done with him.

01:36:05.000 I'm done with him.

01:36:06.000 And I said to my dad, what's going on now? 1.00

01:36:08.000 Like, I give a shit. 1.00

01:36:09.000 Like, I couldn't give less. 1.00

01:36:11.000 Every time they call me, I go, can you just die so I can have some money? 0.75

01:36:17.000 I just need my inheritance. 0.99

01:36:19.000 By the time you finally fucking croak, I'm going to get like 10 grand. 0.98

01:36:23.000 I want to buy a vintage BMW or something of substance, and you're not helping. 0.99

01:36:30.000 I think you've every time I drive it, Dad.

01:36:32.000 Back when they were fighting, now they're fine.

01:36:35.000 Now it never happened, by the way.

01:36:36.000 It's not like they go, oh, that was crazy two years ago.

01:36:40.000 It just vanished into the abyss.

01:36:42.000 But I go, so mom's leaving you?

01:36:45.000 And he goes, look, I don't want to waste anyone's time.

01:36:49.000 If someone doesn't want to be with me, then not, then fine.

01:36:54.000 I'm not going to waste, you know what I mean? 0.99

01:36:57.000 And I feel the same way about a lot of shit. 1.00

01:36:59.000 Maybe even my wife, if she was like, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you forever. 1.00

01:37:03.000 I eventually just go like, fine, fuck you. 1.00

01:37:06.000 But anyway, I felt that way when Ryan left. 1.00

01:37:11.000 He was like, I fucking quit, fuck you. 1.00

01:37:13.000 What am I going to do? 1.00

01:37:14.000 Please don't quit.

01:37:16.000 It's like when Milo quit.

01:37:18.000 I love Milo. 0.95

01:37:19.000 He's fucking awesome. 0.96

01:37:20.000 But I don't beg people to be at a company. 0.98

01:37:23.000 And I've noticed, by the way, with Censored TV, with the contributors, there's guys where I set up our deal.

01:37:31.000 You'll get this much money for this much content, and they're good. 0.98

01:37:35.000 And then there's the other ones I had to kiss their ass all the time and work on it. 0.98

01:37:38.000 Like Laura Loomer, I love her. 0.99

01:37:40.000 But I had to like constantly be calling her, trying to get a show. 1.00

01:37:45.000 I don't have time for that shit. 0.99

01:37:46.000 That's a different job. 1.00

01:37:48.000 It's called the show fucking coaxer. 0.98

01:37:52.000 That's not for me. 0.98

01:37:53.000 I don't want that job.

01:37:55.000 With AIU, we set up a deal.

01:37:58.000 You get this percentage of what you bring in.

01:38:01.000 I was a little disappointed in how much money it was as I watched it leave my bank account.

01:38:06.000 I didn't realize he was that popular. 1.00

01:38:08.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:38:09.000 Can we renegotiate less? 1.00

01:38:12.000 Let's renegotiate less money for you. 1.00

01:38:16.000 But, you know, the guy pumps out the shit. 1.00

01:38:19.000 I don't have to think about it. 1.00

01:38:20.000 It just appears on the site.

01:38:22.000 I watch it occasionally and I go, this is great content.

01:38:26.000 He's on track.

01:38:27.000 This guy's good.

01:38:28.000 I don't agree with him.

01:38:29.000 I'm not an atheist.

01:38:31.000 I don't like that he doesn't like marriage.

01:38:33.000 I don't like that he's pro-vaccine.

01:38:35.000 So?

01:38:37.000 I love the guy.

01:38:39.000 Do you have to be friends with everyone?

01:38:40.000 Do you have to?

01:38:41.000 No.

01:38:41.000 Do you have to agree with everything your friends believe in?

01:38:45.000 Fucking Maddie likes pearl jam. 1.00

01:38:48.000 And tool. 1.00

01:38:50.000 I mean, over the course of the next 30 years, I think I may be able to get him out of that.

01:38:57.000 But it's going to take a lot of...

01:39:00.000 It's going to take a lot of work.

01:39:03.000 But like, why do you have to, anyway, that's a separate subject.

01:39:06.000 The big picture here is like when Ryan quit, I was like, what am I going to do? 1.00

01:39:11.000 Kiss your ass? 1.00

01:39:12.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:39:13.000 It's the same as a sexual relationship, really. 1.00

01:39:16.000 If a girl is like, I fucking hate you, I've been having an affair. 1.00

01:39:20.000 Bye. 1.00

01:39:21.000 And gentlemen, if a woman says to you, I need a break or I suck with someone else, do not sit there and work out a plan B. Walk out the door. 0.98

01:39:32.000 Goodbye.

01:39:33.000 There's no negotiating.

01:39:35.000 We're done. 1.00

01:39:37.000 Save some fucking face, please. 1.00

01:39:40.000 Take a page out of the Chinese book. 1.00

01:39:44.000 Next call.

01:39:47.000 What book is that?

01:39:50.000 I guess the Communist Manifesto.

01:39:51.000 No, that was Mark's.

01:39:52.000 Mao's little red book.

01:39:55.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:39:56.000 Hey, hi.

01:39:57.000 Hey, Mao.

01:40:01.000 Hello?

01:40:02.000 What's up, David?

01:40:05.000 Hello.

01:40:05.000 Can you hear me?

01:40:07.000 I can hear you. 0.99

01:40:08.000 You have a very annoying gay voice, but I'm going to try to work through it. 1.00

01:40:12.000 Gavin, do you think that Milo's really not gay anymore? 0.99

01:40:18.000 Like, I don't really buy it.

01:40:19.000 That's a good question.

01:40:21.000 Okay, and let me just...

01:40:23.000 Okay, go ahead.

01:40:23.000 No, no, you go ahead.

01:40:25.000 Alright, because, alright, look, I am gay, okay?

01:40:29.000 I really...

01:40:33.000 I don't love being gay or whatever, but I even went to this Christian therapist for years.

01:40:39.000 And I don't know, I just like men.

01:40:44.000 I don't know.

01:40:45.000 If it really works, I would consider doing it, but I just don't think you can really not be gay anymore. 0.89

01:40:50.000 And in the case of Milo, he seems pretty gay. 0.91

01:40:53.000 So do you buy it? 0.94

01:40:55.000 Is it for real?

01:40:57.000 This is a good question.

01:40:58.000 So I'm just going to go with my emotions and answer this question like a chick. 0.81

01:41:05.000 Wait, before we do that, let me remain a man just for a second before we get into that. 0.99

01:41:10.000 I think you're born gay. 1.00

01:41:12.000 I don't think there's anything you can do about it. 0.98

01:41:14.000 I think it's unfortunate.

01:41:16.000 I don't think it's the end of the world.

01:41:17.000 I think it's like being an albino.

01:41:19.000 I think it's like being a vegetarian lion.

01:41:21.000 We were made to eat meat.

01:41:23.000 We've got big incisors. 1.00

01:41:25.000 If you're a vegetarian lion, you've got these big, huge fucking fangs and you're eating tofu. 1.00

01:41:32.000 Okay. 1.00

01:41:33.000 Do I want to hurt a vegetarian lion?

01:41:36.000 No.

01:41:36.000 Do I want to deny a vegetarian lion any rights?

01:41:39.000 No. 0.99

01:41:39.000 But when I see a vegetarian lion, I go, oh man, that sucks. 0.99

01:41:43.000 You got all that beef and you can't do anything about it. 1.00

01:41:46.000 But I still, I mean, my wife's a fag hag. 1.00

01:41:49.000 There's homework at our house every day. 0.98

01:41:50.000 I'm not sure what's going on with the screen right now, but we'll figure that out later.

01:41:56.000 So let's accept that.

01:41:58.000 Now I'm going to turn into a chick, okay?

01:42:02.000 I know Milo fairly well.

01:42:05.000 He's not a very like spoony kind of like love you dude.

01:42:12.000 So do you ever really know Milo?

01:42:15.000 He's a real performer and it's fun.

01:42:20.000 I mean, he came to my house.

01:42:21.000 He stayed overnight.

01:42:22.000 My wife and kids met him.

01:42:24.000 He's really fun to hang out with.

01:42:27.000 You got Liberace at your house.

01:42:28.000 It's exciting. 1.00

01:42:32.000 So I love Milo, but I just cannot wrap my head around him being like, I love eating pussy. 1.00

01:42:41.000 Did he get divorced? 1.00

01:42:42.000 Well, that's another question. 1.00

01:42:44.000 So here's my theory, and I'm just shooting the shit here. 0.99

01:42:47.000 I don't want to make him mad. 0.99

01:42:48.000 I don't want to lose him as a friend.

01:42:51.000 But here's a possible angle, right? 0.86

01:42:54.000 He's dating that black dude.

01:42:56.000 They're not really married, whatever the marriage was. 0.99

01:42:59.000 The black dude is like a street kid, genius. 1.00

01:43:04.000 Homothug. 1.00

01:43:05.000 Yeah, he's a homo thug. 1.00

01:43:07.000 His boyfriend grew up on the streets, but he's very intelligent. 0.99

01:43:11.000 I met the guy before.

01:43:12.000 He's a very successful academic.

01:43:15.000 He is doing his dissertation on social welfare in New York City because that's the system he grew up in.

01:43:23.000 He doesn't like the way it was handled.

01:43:24.000 Very, very smart dude.

01:43:26.000 Very handsome, too. 0.99

01:43:28.000 And my only problem with his husband is his cum tastes kind of acrid. 0.99

01:43:34.000 Like it made my throat burn. 0.99

01:43:37.000 But besides that, fantastic guy.

01:43:42.000 But the dude might be like a black culture kind of ghetto dude as far as like his relationships go. 0.99

01:43:50.000 I'm pulling all of this out of my ass, by the way. 0.99

01:43:53.000 But I feel pretty good about it. 1.00

01:43:54.000 But anyway, in a relationship like that, you're like, go make my money, bitch. 1.00

01:44:00.000 So it's possible that Milo was making all this money for his white college fund and the Breitbar people and funneling it to his black boyfriend who drives a Ferrari. 1.00

01:44:16.000 A fucking Ferrari. 0.99

01:44:17.000 I was going to say, did you have to get the Ferrari back? 1.00

01:44:21.000 And it's Iron Man colored and it's like a Tesla too.

01:44:25.000 Like his boyfriend's doing very well for himself.

01:44:28.000 So it's possible that Milo stopped funneling hundreds of thousands of dollars to the black guy and the black guy said, we're done. 0.97

01:44:37.000 I don't want you anymore. 1.00

01:44:39.000 Yeah, I need money, bitch. 1.00

01:44:41.000 And Milo might even like that in a weird, like, you got to understand gay culture, right? 1.00

01:44:47.000 He might even be like, yeah, I am a bitch. 1.00

01:44:49.000 I didn't give you enough money, girl. 0.99

01:44:51.000 So he's on the lamb, not the lamb, but he's on the loose at that point.

01:44:57.000 And then he goes to Florida.

01:45:00.000 I stopped giving him money, so that stopped going to the guy. 0.90

01:45:03.000 And then he joins Church Militant post black boyfriend. 0.68

01:45:08.000 And now he's just making money for himself and his rent or whatever.

01:45:13.000 He's probably making like 60 grand a year with Church Militant.

01:45:16.000 I don't know.

01:45:17.000 That's a theory I have.

01:45:20.000 I don't know if it's true.

01:45:21.000 I could never, I will never get the truth out of Milo.

01:45:24.000 We're not that close.

01:45:25.000 And even if we were, I don't think he'd tell me.

01:45:27.000 But sorry, that's a very long and involved way of answering your question.

01:45:32.000 And you just simply ask me, do you honestly think he's not gay anymore? 1.00

01:45:36.000 No.

01:45:37.000 I don't think he's not gay anymore. 1.00

01:45:40.000 I think he dreams of penises all night long and probably blows dudes in an alleyway in Florida. 1.00

01:45:47.000 I mean, that's why we say it's sad to be gay. 1.00

01:45:50.000 Not because you decided to suck a bunch of dicks, but because you became an albino. 1.00

01:45:57.000 Like, you could put dicks, put a gun to my head and make me suck 100 dicks tonight. 1.00

01:46:03.000 By the way, I would be like, oh, oh, oh, oh. 1.00

01:46:07.000 This is me sucking my first dick at gunpoint. 1.00

01:46:10.000 Okay, you ready? 1.00

01:46:11.000 I'm like this.

01:46:13.000 Okay, here we go.

01:46:15.000 Don't worry.

01:46:15.000 Don't shoot me.

01:46:16.000 Don't shoot me. 0.99

01:46:17.000 I got it. 1.00

01:46:17.000 I'm going to suck it. 1.00

01:46:18.000 I'm going to suck it. 1.00

01:46:19.000 Calm down. 1.00

01:46:20.000 Everyone, put your finger, trigger control, guys.

01:46:23.000 Trigger discipline.

01:46:24.000 I don't want you.

01:46:25.000 Okay, good.

01:46:26.000 Okay.

01:46:26.000 All right.

01:46:26.000 Here we go.

01:46:29.000 All right.

01:46:48.000 That's number one.

01:46:49.000 All right.

01:46:50.000 Here's number 100.

01:46:51.000 It's 13 hours later.

01:46:55.000 Okay.

01:46:56.000 I can't believe we're already at 100. 0.96

01:46:57.000 Let me tickle them balls. 1.00

01:46:59.000 Okay. 0.99

01:46:59.000 Here we go. 0.99

01:47:07.000 All right. 0.96

01:47:07.000 Number 100 and 100 dicks. 0.96

01:47:09.000 It's been 13 hours. 0.99

01:47:12.000 This is a black one. 0.99

01:47:14.000 We've only had like 100.

01:47:15.000 Oh, no, sorry.

01:47:16.000 We've only had like 32 black ones. 1.00

01:47:18.000 Black dicks. 1.00

01:47:20.000 All right, here we go. 1.00

01:47:21.000 Black dicks smell bad. 1.00

01:47:25.000 And here we go. 1.00

01:47:30.000 Meanwhile, someone like you is just like, all right, when are we done here?

01:47:34.000 Let's do 200.

01:47:38.000 Maybe. 0.98

01:47:39.000 So the short answer is, I don't see how he could possibly be not gay. 0.89

01:47:44.000 Yeah.

01:47:44.000 But what do I know?

01:47:45.000 Because I thought about doing that conversion therapy shit, but I just don't know. 1.00

01:47:50.000 You can't turn the gay away. 1.00

01:47:52.000 Okay, I believe that. 1.00

01:47:54.000 But the thing is, I saw these gay dudes that had a bunch of adopted kids at the Shake Shack once, and they just couldn't fucking control the kids. 1.00

01:48:03.000 They were running around, jumping on the table, or not the table, but the chairs. 0.99

01:48:07.000 So then I just started thinking, maybe, maybe, maybe gays shouldn't adopt kids. 1.00

01:48:11.000 Well, you notice with gay adopters, they won't shut the fuck up about being gay. 0.99

01:48:19.000 And the kid is always like, my dads, I have two dads, and we have a rainbow Christmas tree, and we're gay and proud. 1.00

01:48:27.000 And you're like, okay, calm the fuck down. 0.99

01:48:30.000 Like, say you were, I don't know, two Masons and you adopted a kid. 0.99

01:48:35.000 I'm a Mason kid.

01:48:36.000 I love the Masons. 1.00

01:48:37.000 I'm a fucking Masonic motherfucker. 1.00

01:48:41.000 Like, let it go. 1.00

01:48:44.000 Yeah.

01:48:45.000 So, no, I don't, they don't seem to adopt very well.

01:48:48.000 They don't seem to be able to drop. 1.00

01:48:49.000 Yeah, I don't want any fucking kids. 1.00

01:48:51.000 I don't want anything to do with my sister has kids. 1.00

01:48:54.000 I think you're a weirdo. 0.99

01:48:55.000 You know, God made you a freak, and you should, you're like an albino, enjoying. 1.00

01:49:00.000 Live it. 0.83

01:49:01.000 Have some fun. 0.99

01:49:03.000 It has its perks sometimes, but, you know, butt sex does, like, I'm worried I'm becoming like your old, that old man you talked about, like, his anus and stuff. 0.99

01:49:13.000 Like, I'm worried I'm going to become that one day. 0.99

01:49:15.000 Yeah, you should be worried.

01:49:17.000 Eno muscles can only take so much abuse.

01:49:20.000 What are you saying?

01:49:21.000 The sphincter's going to break?

01:49:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:23.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:49:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:24.000 Sphincters fall apart. 0.88

01:49:26.000 Yeah, I remember you telling that story.

01:49:28.000 And I don't know.

01:49:31.000 I mean, anyway, I'll think about it.

01:49:34.000 But anyway, thank you, Gavin.

01:49:35.000 I appreciate it. 0.99

01:49:36.000 And fuck Ryan, too. 1.00

01:49:37.000 He's deadweight. 1.00

01:49:38.000 Yeah, he's deadweight. 1.00

01:49:39.000 Fuck him. 1.00

01:49:41.000 All right, thanks for calling. 1.00

01:49:42.000 Thank you.

01:49:44.000 How are we doing here?

01:49:45.000 I think we're ready to rock.

01:49:46.000 Let's wrap it up.

01:49:48.000 For those about to rock, we salute you.

01:49:51.000 Joe, tell the next caller it's our last call.

01:49:59.000 Okay. 1.00

01:50:00.000 Don't play the fucking Somalian video. 1.00

01:50:03.000 Yellow. 1.00

01:50:03.000 Or I will murder you. 1.00

01:50:05.000 Hello? 1.00

01:50:06.000 Yes?

01:50:07.000 Yellow.

01:50:08.000 Is that you, Colin?

01:50:09.000 Yellow.

01:50:10.000 How's she going?

01:50:11.000 What's happening?

01:50:12.000 Pretty good. 0.98

01:50:13.000 Hey, hey, so I'm watching this fucking, like, my local news here. 0.99

01:50:17.000 I live in the fucking Midwest State. 1.00

01:50:18.000 It says we have an $8 billion fucking surplus here. 1.00

01:50:23.000 Just wondering what you think the best way to do it. 0.98

01:50:25.000 Is it easiest to just give it back to the taxpayers? 0.95

01:50:29.000 It's like, how much are you fucking taxing me here? 0.96

01:50:32.000 Minnesota, by the way. 0.98

01:50:34.000 Minnesota.

01:50:36.000 You got $8 billion floating around? 1.00

01:50:39.000 Yeah, isn't that bullshit? 1.00

01:50:40.000 The fucking fifth highest income tax in the country. 1.00

01:50:43.000 It's like, what are we doing? 0.99

01:50:45.000 Well, maybe the government is very fiscally responsible.

01:50:48.000 How about no income tax for the next two years?

01:50:51.000 I don't know.

01:50:54.000 If you have to spend it, can we spend it on an entrepreneur's fund where anyone who has a great business plan gets the money to do it?

01:51:01.000 I don't know.

01:51:02.000 I don't know what that means.

01:51:03.000 I can send you my address.

01:51:05.000 They can send me some of it.

01:51:06.000 Okay, we got the Somalians. 1.00

01:51:08.000 You gave it back to the fucking people. 1.00

01:51:11.000 All right. 1.00

01:51:12.000 Thanks for calling.

01:51:12.000 Yeah, they're never going to relinquish those funds to anybody.

01:51:18.000 They'll spend it on.

01:51:20.000 Thanks for showing us the Somalians, Joe.

01:51:27.000 All right, Joe, that's the Somalians again. 1.00

01:51:29.000 Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

01:51:33.000 Here's the deal.

01:51:35.000 I shouldn't have hired you. 0.99

01:51:36.000 We're doing a 24-hour marathon tomorrow, and we've been dealing with a lot of shit here. 0.99

01:51:42.000 So I don't know if you want to buy some meth, but you need to stay up all night tonight and figure out this shit if we're going to do a marathon tomorrow. 0.99

01:51:54.000 I don't miss Ryan, but I'm damn close, and I can't do this anymore. 0.94

01:51:59.000 Sorry, folks, to cut this short, but we're wasting everyone's time. 0.93

01:52:05.000 Lord fucking knows what is going to go down tomorrow.

01:52:09.000 You know, I had a storied career. 0.99

01:52:11.000 I started in media in 1994 with Vice.

01:52:14.000 There's been some ups and downs.

01:52:16.000 I've been fired from every job I've ever had.

01:52:18.000 Censore TV was great, but I feel like tomorrow is going to be an absolute catastrophe. 0.97

01:52:28.000 I think I'm going to get drunk to try to deal with Joe's failures, and then it's going to be a bunch of horrible, regrettable things I say while Joe fucks up. 0.99

01:52:39.000 I'm going to break shit, and you're going to see the end of my career. 0.98

01:52:44.000 I hereby predict that tomorrow will be right out of the SCTV sketch Johnny LaRue on New Year's Eve. 0.99

01:52:52.000 John Candy played him, I believe.

01:52:54.000 And you're going to see the pathetic decline of a very influential and gravely misunderstood iconoclast. 1.00

01:53:03.000 So tomorrow will be a shit show. 0.99

01:53:06.000 I recommend, it's going to be free. 1.00

01:53:08.000 I recommend Antifa and the liberal left watch this shit because you're going to see your arch enemy slowly fade away. 0.99

01:53:16.000 I think this will be the end of the network. 0.99

01:53:19.000 And Joe, you're a huge part of that.

01:53:22.000 You're a huge part of the decline.

01:53:23.000 You are on.

01:53:24.000 Joe and Ryan together have broken me.

01:53:29.000 Congratulations.

01:53:29.000 Many have tried, physically beaten me.

01:53:32.000 Antifa have tried.

01:53:34.000 Journalists have devoted years of their life to ending my career.

01:53:38.000 The New York Times, entire media institutions, and I think Joe may have done it today.

01:53:43.000 So tune in at 6 p.m. tomorrow to see the decline of Gavin civilization.

01:53:50.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:54:24.000 Why does that mean you have two things?

01:54:26.000 You have one thing.

01:54:27.000 Thank you for coming.

01:54:40.000 Why did y'all leave me behind?

01:54:43.000 Why did you guys leave me behind, guys? 1.00

01:54:45.000 I'm over here tapping this big bitch. 1.00

01:54:52.000 All I know is I jumped on her, big ass. 1.00

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 17, 2021

GOML LIVE #127 - JOE'S FIRST DAY

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