Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 18, 2021


GOML LIVE #127 - JOE'S FIRST DAY (Part 1)


Episode Stats

Length

43 minutes

Words per Minute

150.52144

Word Count

6,495

Sentence Count

670

Misogynist Sentences

13

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Joe Tonelli is our new engineer, producer, and sidekick! He's a 58-year-old veteran of the NYPD and has been in the business for over 30 years. Joe talks about how he got into the business, what he's been up to, and what it's like being a cop in the 80s and 90s. He also tells us about his time working in the drug trade and how he ended up in the NYPD. Joe also talks about what it was like growing up on the streets of New York City. And finally, he tells us the story of the time he was shot at by a cop and how it changed his life. Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes is a show where we talk about life, liberty, and the pursuit of the American Dream. Get off your lawn and get on my lawn! Get off my lawn, Gavin! Get off My Lawn! GAVEN McINNES Get On My Lawn, GAVIN GRAVY MCCARTAN The Fartman, GRAHAM, BRIAN THE FARTMAN, THE FartMAN, GABE MCCARTHORNELL, AND JOE TONNELI! GRAFFLELL! The Bald Eagle, THE PODCASTER, THE PRODUCER, JOE THETONIELI, THE EPISODE, THE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODESPODCAST OF THE DECADE EVER! GAVANCHORES, THE BULLY, THE KID AND THE PASTOR OF THE DAY, THE SONGSVY, AND THE FASTING OF THE WEEK! GET OFF MY LAKE AND THE BLEACH, THE COURAGE, THE DOG, THE LADY BABY AND THE MASTERS, AND MORE! LIVE FROM NEW YANKEES, LIVE FROM LOS ANGELES, LAKE, NY GET ON MY LOBE, GIVING MEET AND GIV MEETING WITH ME A LOUD AND GASKING ME A PRODCAST AND TALK TO MEET ME OUT AND GREET WITH ME AND I'S TALKING TO ME AND OTHER THAN THAT'S WHAT I'M TALK ABOUT ME AND THE DADDY'S BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO DOUBLES!


Transcript

00:00:10.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:42.000 I'm here for real.
00:00:43.000 I'm the Fartman.
00:00:43.000 Good job, Brian.
00:00:45.000 The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The Fartman, The
00:01:12.000 Which is a different camera.
00:01:14.000 There we go.
00:01:17.000 He's running the bird, which is the bald eagle.
00:01:19.000 And we have an important announcement to make.
00:01:21.000 We are debuting our new engineer, producer, sidekick.
00:01:26.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joe Tonelli!
00:01:29.000 Woo-hoo!
00:01:30.000 Really?
00:01:36.000 Nope.
00:01:36.000 We gotta... There you go.
00:01:39.000 So say hi.
00:01:41.000 Hi everybody, welcome.
00:01:42.000 So you gotta talk into the mic.
00:01:44.000 Okay, now I got it, okay.
00:01:46.000 So Joe, now that you're a new addition to the show, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
00:01:52.000 Let me see, my name's Joey Tonelli.
00:01:53.000 You gotta face the microphone.
00:01:55.000 Oh, sorry, first day.
00:01:58.000 Born and raised in Rye, New York.
00:01:59.000 No, no, you gotta face the microphone.
00:02:01.000 Okay, how's that?
00:02:02.000 Is that better?
00:02:02.000 Sure, you could twist it towards your face.
00:02:05.000 Okay, got it.
00:02:08.000 Okay.
00:02:09.000 Okay.
00:02:10.000 All right.
00:02:10.000 How old are you?
00:02:11.000 You seem pretty old.
00:02:12.000 Uh, 58 years old.
00:02:12.000 58?
00:02:13.000 Yeah.
00:02:14.000 Okay.
00:02:15.000 Uh, what's your background as far as media and producing shows goes?
00:02:18.000 Actually, this is my, uh, my first gig, so I'm willing, I'm giving it a shot to see how I do.
00:02:24.000 Okay.
00:02:25.000 Um, so, sorry, go back again, where, what's your story?
00:02:28.000 Oh, uh, this is my first time.
00:02:31.000 Right, but what's your, who are you?
00:02:33.000 I mean, we have to introduce you to the people.
00:02:35.000 Well, uh, who am I?
00:02:38.000 What do you want to know?
00:02:41.000 Where are you from?
00:02:42.000 Like, what would your Grindr write-up be?
00:02:46.000 Well, you know, like I said, born and raised in Rye, New York.
00:02:48.000 Went to Rye High School.
00:02:49.000 You got to face the mic.
00:02:51.000 Okay.
00:02:51.000 Went to Rye High School.
00:02:52.000 Born and raised in Rye.
00:02:56.000 You know, basically, uh, you know, uh, I was out and I lived out in Arizona for a little while.
00:03:02.000 And, um, you know, uh, I got a background in like safety and risk management and, you know, whatever.
00:03:08.000 And so I'm just giving this a shot, uh, right now because, uh, safety is not really cutting it right now.
00:03:13.000 So.
00:03:14.000 Are you, are you married?
00:03:15.000 Uh, no, I was.
00:03:16.000 Do you have any kids?
00:03:18.000 I have two grandkids, a granddaughter and a grandson.
00:03:22.000 Oh, do you, did you have kids, immediate kids or did you just skip right to grandkids?
00:03:27.000 No, I have a daughter, a 25-year-old daughter.
00:03:30.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:30.000 She's gonna be 26 on December 23rd.
00:03:34.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:34.000 Yep.
00:03:35.000 So that's your story, and you're sticking to it.
00:03:37.000 I'm sticking to it.
00:03:38.000 All right, well, we've got, the way this show goes is we're free for the first half hour, and then we go behind the paywall, and we read mail, and we take calls.
00:03:51.000 There's just so much to squeeze into a live show that I don't like to go through the news.
00:03:56.000 Okay.
00:03:57.000 Okay.
00:03:57.000 Got it.
00:03:58.000 Have you ever been shot at Joe?
00:04:00.000 Have I been shot at?
00:04:01.000 Yeah.
00:04:01.000 Uh, no, I mean, you know, I worked when I was a medic in the South Bronx, I, um, you know, uh, you know, back in the day, back in the eighties, um, yeah, uh, South Bronx was for the Apache back then.
00:04:12.000 So we, you know, um, they were trying to score, you know, our narcotics back in the day, but, um, yeah, I mean, we, uh, you know, was I hit?
00:04:20.000 No.
00:04:23.000 Okay.
00:04:25.000 What happened with your marriage?
00:04:27.000 Uh, it just didn't, uh, didn't work out.
00:04:30.000 Okay.
00:04:31.000 Uh, you know, didn't work out.
00:04:33.000 Now your mom is Scottish, like my mom.
00:04:35.000 Uh, yeah, she was born in, uh, Glasgow.
00:04:37.000 Same with us, same with Maddie.
00:04:39.000 Yep.
00:04:40.000 We all have Glaswegian moms.
00:04:41.000 Yeah, my mom was, uh, last name was Hardy.
00:04:43.000 H-A-R-T-Y-O is her maiden name.
00:04:45.000 Glasgow mom crew.
00:04:46.000 Yep.
00:04:47.000 Does she love you?
00:04:48.000 Is she still around?
00:04:49.000 Uh, no.
00:04:50.000 Mom passed in February of 2020.
00:04:51.000 How did she die?
00:04:53.000 What'd she die of?
00:04:54.000 Uh, dementia.
00:04:55.000 She died of dementia.
00:04:56.000 Okay.
00:04:56.000 Uh, let's get back to me.
00:04:58.000 Um, so go to the right camera, Joe.
00:05:06.000 Great.
00:05:08.000 Sorry, bear with me.
00:05:09.000 Apologize.
00:05:10.000 No problem, no problem.
00:05:12.000 Now, while I'm talking about the sponsors, I want you to pull up their web pages.
00:05:17.000 So we're going to start with Nita Fashions.
00:05:20.000 Nita Fashions has been with us for a long time.
00:05:22.000 I don't want to toot my own horn, but we are a major part of Nita Fashion's income.
00:05:29.000 We got them through the pandemic.
00:05:31.000 I would say 60% of their clients are baby monsters.
00:05:35.000 There's a lot of lawyers and sales dudes who need to have a good 10 suits, but there's normal blue collar dudes who need that one suit for funerals and weddings.
00:05:45.000 When they get circumcised.
00:05:47.000 That's where Anita Fashions comes in.
00:05:49.000 I've got my whole new wardrobe for the marathon which is happening in less than 24 hours and it's lasting for 24 hours.
00:05:56.000 At 6 p.m.
00:05:57.000 tomorrow.
00:05:57.000 6 p.m.
00:06:01.000 Joe and I will be together taking you through a 24-hour shift of the show.
00:06:07.000 We'll be interviewing everyone who's on the network.
00:06:11.000 We have every single contributor spanned out too.
00:06:14.000 And it works because, you know, Australia and Britain and Hawaii, we got Lotus, Dusty Bogan and Katie Hopkins.
00:06:22.000 They can be in the wee hours of America time and they're in normal time on their zone.
00:06:26.000 So they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when we're fucking exhausted at 5 a.m.
00:06:30.000 And I'll be wearing my Nita Fashions tuxedo, which is silk-lined.
00:06:35.000 Red silk.
00:06:37.000 You should get a Nita Fashions suit, Matty.
00:06:41.000 I'm gonna.
00:06:42.000 For your various court dates, which are inevitable.
00:06:47.000 Would you wear a suit when you went to court?
00:06:49.000 Depending on, like when I went to trial and stuff like that, I wore suits.
00:06:52.000 With a tie?
00:06:54.000 Yeah.
00:06:55.000 I mean for like a regular local court or until you start unless you're in custody they you go in your regular street clothes but um when you go to trial they let you put a suit on.
00:07:07.000 And did it help with your sentencing?
00:07:09.000 Ah so like people's like shaved to get the hair cut they look all like neat from the apartment it's all foregone bullshit they don't give a fuck what you look like they know what they're doing before you get there so.
00:07:19.000 Yeah, they know how long they're going to put you away for.
00:07:22.000 Exactly.
00:07:23.000 So Nita Fashions is great for all of that.
00:07:26.000 And what I keep saying on the show is you've never experienced wearing a tailored suit.
00:07:32.000 It feels like PJs.
00:07:34.000 In fact, as a blue-collar LARPer, I wear thick denim and wax pants and these thick flannels and red wings.
00:07:41.000 I'm very uncomfortable in my leisure wear.
00:07:44.000 I actually look forward to going to work because I wear a suit and can finally be comfortable.
00:07:50.000 Oh, I like those lapels too.
00:07:52.000 That's the hot thing now.
00:07:53.000 Peaked lapels.
00:07:54.000 All my new suits have those lapels.
00:07:56.000 Anyway, Nita Fashions.
00:07:58.000 I think the best way to contact them is to DM them on Instagram.
00:08:03.000 Set up a measurement thing.
00:08:05.000 They just got back from a world tour, so they probably won't be doing that for a while.
00:08:08.000 And get all your measurements done from home remotely.
00:08:12.000 And then they can send you samples, swatches.
00:08:14.000 You can do all of this remotely.
00:08:15.000 Then you get this wonderful package from FedEx.
00:08:17.000 It's like Christmas in your house.
00:08:20.000 So that is... What's the URL, Joe?
00:08:24.000 I'm sorry, what's that?
00:08:25.000 What's the URL?
00:08:30.000 What's the website name?
00:08:32.000 HTTP colon slash slash www dot.
00:08:42.000 Is it NitaFashions, all one word?
00:08:43.000 Yeah, NitaFashions.com.
00:08:45.000 AnitaFashions or NitaFashions?
00:08:46.000 Anita.
00:08:48.000 N-I-T-A, yeah, Fashions.com.
00:08:50.000 Why are you adding an A at the beginning?
00:08:51.000 Like Anita Harding.
00:08:53.000 Oh, no.
00:08:55.000 NitaFashions.
00:08:56.000 Nita, Nita.
00:08:56.000 Okay.
00:08:57.000 So that's our intro.
00:08:59.000 Um, what are we thinking of Joe so far?
00:09:03.000 Going well?
00:09:04.000 Uh, you know.
00:09:06.000 Can you cut to Matty, Joe?
00:09:07.000 He's making an effort.
00:09:12.000 I'll just wait.
00:09:13.000 There we go.
00:09:13.000 Hey, what do you think?
00:09:16.000 Um, a little rough around the edges, but you know, Joe has had a very storied career.
00:09:21.000 Uh, he's been in the army military.
00:09:25.000 He's been, uh, in jail.
00:09:27.000 He's been, uh, an all around guy, a medic.
00:09:31.000 He's a man's man.
00:09:32.000 EMT.
00:09:33.000 What was that story, Joe, where you were on the highway with the helicopter and you got hit by a car and it fucked up your spine.
00:09:43.000 That's a good story.
00:09:48.000 That's the story?
00:09:49.000 Yeah.
00:09:51.000 Well, I'll tell the story.
00:09:53.000 Massive pileup on the freeway.
00:09:56.000 He's in the EMT.
00:09:57.000 He's in a helicopter.
00:09:59.000 Lands on the highway.
00:10:01.000 Some guy breaks through the barricades, drunk, hits Joe as he's putting, I think, a kid onto the helicopter.
00:10:08.000 Fucks up his spine.
00:10:09.000 He's had a stiff neck ever since.
00:10:12.000 Is that the way the story went, Joe?
00:10:15.000 Yes.
00:10:17.000 He said yes.
00:10:18.000 I don't know if his mic is on.
00:10:21.000 Yes.
00:10:23.000 Okay.
00:10:25.000 Are you talking to someone there, Joe?
00:10:28.000 Who are you looking at?
00:10:29.000 Oh, no, I'm not.
00:10:30.000 I'm looking at the keyboard.
00:10:31.000 Okay.
00:10:32.000 You said a keyboard.
00:10:33.000 Okay.
00:10:34.000 So did I, did I do a good job of your drunk driving story?
00:10:36.000 Sure.
00:10:39.000 All right.
00:10:40.000 Let's just shoot the shit for a second, Matty, before we get into the mailbag.
00:10:45.000 I was just talking to some dads on the phone here and there.
00:10:50.000 Their prediction is that school does not go back after the Christmas break.
00:10:55.000 And it's a repeat of last year with fucking Zooms and bullshit.
00:11:00.000 And you know who really suffers from that is kids in shitty neighborhoods.
00:11:05.000 Yeah, because they their parents don't discipline them and they I talked to these teachers in the in this neighborhood in the South Bronx and they They go out of a class of 30.
00:11:15.000 I'll have three kids Because the parents are still asleep.
00:11:19.000 I'll have three kids that are ready to go at 9 2 will be playing video games and one Will be like, okay.
00:11:27.000 What are we doing today teach?
00:11:28.000 Yeah sad
00:11:32.000 I don't understand what the hell is going on.
00:11:33.000 Can you cut to Matty, please?
00:11:35.000 He's just talking there in the abyss.
00:11:40.000 So, uh, you know, Monday, obviously, uh, Governor Kathy Hochul, she, uh, implemented the mask mandate for the entire state of New York.
00:11:51.000 Which is bullshit.
00:11:52.000 What is that now to non-New Yorkers?
00:11:55.000 Everyone in every business, every employee has to be vaccinated.
00:11:58.000 All indoor public spaces, you are required to wear a mask regardless of your vaccination status.
00:12:06.000 So basically the masks are back on if you want to go to the supermarket, to the gas station, to the bank, to anywhere that's a public space.
00:12:14.000 Wait a minute, but at our bar you don't have to wear a mask if you have a vaccination card?
00:12:19.000 I think the businesses have to implement a vaccination verification but
00:12:25.000 Fuck all that shit.
00:12:26.000 I mean, why would I tell anybody my medical history?
00:12:29.000 Right, but just for the record, if you have a vaccination card or proof of vaccination, you don't have to wear a mask, but everyone needs at least that.
00:12:36.000 Every gym, if you don't have a vax card, you need a mask.
00:12:40.000 I know my nephew's gym, they said if you don't have vaccination, you can't go there anymore.
00:12:48.000 It's like, really?
00:12:51.000 It's pretty funny.
00:12:51.000 He said, my sister told me, she goes, you walked in and the girl says, Oh, do you have your vaccination card?
00:12:57.000 He goes, well, do you have AIDS?
00:13:01.000 That's the proper reaction.
00:13:02.000 And the girl at the desk just looked at him.
00:13:05.000 Yeah, have you ever had AIDS?
00:13:07.000 Do you have chlamydia?
00:13:08.000 What are your STDs?
00:13:10.000 Yeah, that was the one I saw.
00:13:11.000 I can't remember what state.
00:13:12.000 It was the governor somewhere.
00:13:14.000 He was leaving the podium, and somebody asked him, one of the reporters said, are you vaccinated?
00:13:20.000 And he turned around, and his assistant or something said, that's a very inappropriate question.
00:13:26.000 He comes back to the podium.
00:13:27.000 He goes, no, no.
00:13:27.000 He goes, do you have any STDs?
00:13:30.000 Have you ever had any STDs?
00:13:31.000 And the guy's like, uh, what?
00:13:33.000 He goes, yeah.
00:13:35.000 You're not going to tell me, so why would I tell you my medical history?
00:13:38.000 You know, where's it end?
00:13:41.000 I still don't believe that, like, HIPAA laws are there to protect our privacy and our own personal medical records.
00:13:47.000 And here's the other thing.
00:13:49.000 Deaths are not going up.
00:13:51.000 This whole thing is over.
00:13:52.000 We're all about this Omicron variant, whatever the fuck it's called, and there's been zero deaths.
00:13:58.000 It's just more propaganda.
00:14:00.000 It's more bullshit.
00:14:02.000 Like, I'm actually impressed today.
00:14:04.000 I saw a couple of things that said there's a few counties
00:14:10.000 In New York that are like they're Bucking the system saying no, we're not following the mandates.
00:14:17.000 We don't care what you say.
00:14:18.000 We're choosing not to To enforce or go abide by your mandate
00:14:25.000 I'm really surprised by that because I just assumed every politician wants to kiss the governor's ass.
00:14:30.000 Yeah, fuck that.
00:14:32.000 So what are the counties?
00:14:33.000 Is it Rockland?
00:14:35.000 Rockland, Dutchess, Putnam, and Madison, which I believe is like way upstate.
00:14:41.000 So Rockland is where the Weather Underground killed those two cops in Nyack and the post office is named after them.
00:14:48.000 Maybe they're not into Cuomo, the guy who freed the Weather Underground from prison.
00:14:53.000 All right, shall we dive into the mailbag, Joe?
00:14:56.000 Sure, absolutely.
00:14:59.000 Okay, so I showed you the little thing where you show the doohickey, the mailbag, where we make fun of our ex.
00:15:10.000 We're gonna have to change all this shit now that Ryan's gone.
00:15:15.000 Yeah.
00:15:16.000 Joe, shut up, your parents are dead.
00:15:23.000 Gotta come up with a new song.
00:15:25.000 Gotta come up with, folks at home, if you can come up with a new song.
00:15:29.000 Um, I'm not sure what we're doing with this giant piss screen.
00:15:33.000 Here we go.
00:15:34.000 Not getting any audio.
00:15:37.000 Hmm.
00:15:37.000 Hmm.
00:15:38.000 Anyway, Ryan, shut up.
00:15:39.000 You don't have a dad.
00:15:40.000 Let's take our, what is it?
00:15:42.000 Something.
00:15:44.000 Gavin's mail bag.
00:15:45.000 And then it's let me touch it.
00:15:46.000 But wait, what comes after Don't Have a Dad?
00:15:50.000 Let's Turn Our Eyes to Gavin's Mailbag?
00:15:54.000 I think it's Let's Turn Our Eyes.
00:15:58.000 Can you pull up the audio for that fucking thing, Joe?
00:16:01.000 Guys, there's gonna be some hiccups.
00:16:04.000 Ryan was with us.
00:16:04.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:16:09.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:16:15.000 Let me touch it.
00:16:16.000 Let's pour some out for our dead homie, Ryan.
00:16:18.000 I wonder what he's doing now.
00:16:21.000 Not the smartest move in the world.
00:16:22.000 He's probably online slapping the bass.
00:16:26.000 No, he doesn't.
00:16:26.000 He makes songs that slap.
00:16:28.000 Oh, songs slap.
00:16:29.000 But he plays the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix.
00:16:32.000 But imagine you have a newborn and you decide, I'm going to quit my job.
00:16:36.000 His wife must be thrilled with his awesome decision making.
00:16:41.000 Okay.
00:16:46.000 Uh, but you know, we've had other producers in the past.
00:16:49.000 Ryan was one of many, if you recall.
00:16:51.000 We had Rat, the guy who was such a pussy, it inspired the Proud Boys.
00:16:56.000 Uh, we had David Kast, who was stolen from me by Laura Ingram.
00:17:01.000 We had John Serino, who was fired by Kumia's people for asking one of their clients for more money.
00:17:09.000 Which I thought was... Well, I'm not going to criticize my buddies, but it seemed pretty intense.
00:17:16.000 That was back when the cop ran the show there, Keith the Cop.
00:17:21.000 And then there was Ryan Katsu Rivera.
00:17:24.000 Funny guy, but incompetent.
00:17:30.000 Almost as bad as Joe.
00:17:32.000 But this is Joe's first day.
00:17:34.000 Are you going to be getting better at this, Joe?
00:17:37.000 I'll try.
00:17:37.000 I'll do my best.
00:17:40.000 You're gonna go to the electric chair?
00:17:42.000 Yeah.
00:17:44.000 Dude, we don't want you to fry.
00:17:45.000 And why do you keep showing Nita Fashions?
00:17:47.000 I think that's been established.
00:17:49.000 Oh, I'm sorry about that.
00:17:50.000 Wrong button.
00:17:51.000 Okay.
00:17:52.000 So I showed you this earlier, Joe, what we do is we go through the mailbag.
00:17:57.000 It should be in the archive section, right?
00:18:00.000 And I thought it would be fun.
00:18:03.000 If we just focused on ones that say Maddie, because sometimes people send in letters to Maddie and we get so many a day that by the time he's back here the following week, it's long gone.
00:18:16.000 So put in the search bar, Maddie.
00:18:20.000 Matt, Joe, who are you looking at?
00:18:22.000 Oh, no, I'm just, I'm looking at the keyboard here.
00:18:24.000 Sorry about that.
00:18:26.000 Multiple screens, trying to get it together over here.
00:18:28.000 Now you went to school in Scotland, correct?
00:18:31.000 Elementary school.
00:18:33.000 Oh, I thought it was high school.
00:18:36.000 You know, when I was in school in Scotland for a matter of months, when I was a very little boy, and there was a kid there, I've told this story a few times, it's my favourite story, and he was very, very poor.
00:18:53.000 He was from Paisley, which was up the road.
00:18:56.000 And, uh, he was so bored that his parents didn't have time for him.
00:19:00.000 They were both working, and he had lots of brothers and sisters, and he was the forgotten youngest.
00:19:05.000 So he loved coming to school, because there was like, it was warm, and there was paper, and you could eat stuff, and people looked at him, and he loved it!
00:19:14.000 So he gets a call and they're like, Angus McDougal, please come to the principal's office, Angus McDougal.
00:19:20.000 I think his name was Angus McDougal.
00:19:22.000 And he's like, that's my name.
00:19:24.000 See me.
00:19:25.000 I'm getting announced on the intercom.
00:19:30.000 Not sure what's happening here.
00:19:32.000 And they they take him to the principal's office.
00:19:35.000 Did I die?
00:19:36.000 I know.
00:19:41.000 This is called learning as we go.
00:19:48.000 Sometimes you don't have time to train a new guy.
00:19:49.000 And he was all excited that he got to go to the principal's office and then he came back about three hours later bald as a cue ball.
00:20:03.000 And people were not bald back then.
00:20:06.000 We were, this is 1974.
00:20:09.000 We're all little kids and there's this little five year old.
00:20:13.000 His head is bald as a cue ball and he comes in and he's still smiling.
00:20:15.000 Everything was good for him.
00:20:18.000 In retrospect, he's probably beaten by his dad.
00:20:19.000 So he's so happy to be away from him.
00:20:22.000 Sorry to put a bummer spin on that.
00:20:24.000 So we're all like, as he walks down the aisle back to his desk and we're all fixated on like,
00:20:34.000 And then he sits down, still smiling, still bald, no eyebrows.
00:20:38.000 And he looks at the class and we're all looking back at him.
00:20:41.000 Even the teacher was going... And he looks at us all and he goes, I got lace!
00:20:49.000 He was thrilled.
00:20:51.000 So much attention.
00:20:53.000 People touching him.
00:20:55.000 People cutting his hair.
00:20:56.000 I am madder all of a sudden.
00:21:00.000 Okay.
00:21:01.000 You don't have to do anything for this, Joe.
00:21:03.000 I can handle it.
00:21:03.000 There's no graphics.
00:21:04.000 But if there's a picture or a video, I need you to bring it up.
00:21:07.000 Why are you playing the woman background?
00:21:09.000 This should be letters.
00:21:11.000 I need envelopes dancing around behind me.
00:21:13.000 Oh, okay, gotcha.
00:21:14.000 This is not good advertising, especially for the show tomorrow.
00:21:17.000 The marathon tomorrow is about getting our numbers up to 30,000.
00:21:21.000 And, uh... We're not really selling ourselves very well.
00:21:29.000 In fact, we're probably losing subscribers in the hundreds.
00:21:34.000 That was not really the objective here.
00:21:36.000 How are we going to do 24 hours with this level of incompetence?
00:21:40.000 Joe, those are not envelopes!
00:21:43.000 Envelopes?
00:21:43.000 Those are envelopes.
00:21:45.000 No?
00:21:46.000 Okay.
00:21:48.000 Tricky little buttons.
00:21:50.000 They're very tiny buttons.
00:21:53.000 No more audio.
00:21:54.000 Because what's going to happen is, I think it's kind of funny now.
00:21:58.000 That you're fucking up?
00:21:59.000 But then there's going to be when the switch happens.
00:22:01.000 And it goes from like normal mistakes for a new guy to get your fucking shit together.
00:22:07.000 And we're drifting into that arena right now.
00:22:09.000 Oh for fuck's sakes, Joseph.
00:22:11.000 Those are not envelopes.
00:22:13.000 Those are televisions.
00:22:15.000 Envelopes are the things that you lick, that you would put, I don't know, your welfare check in?
00:22:21.000 There you go.
00:22:22.000 Right there.
00:22:24.000 Alright, Matty, someone has written a poem for you.
00:22:27.000 Oh, nice!
00:22:29.000 You ready for this?
00:22:29.000 I'm ready.
00:22:31.000 I hope I am.
00:22:33.000 For a number of weeks now, one Matty O'Dell has been gracing the show we call GOML.
00:22:41.000 This little monster, with a temper so short, has brought wisdom and flavor, I am glad to report.
00:22:47.000 He doesn't take shit, and he doesn't like liars.
00:22:51.000 As a lad, he was raised in a baptism of fire.
00:22:55.000 He was always a rough boy, as Pete Townshend knows well, but to cross him is to take one quick trip to hell.
00:23:04.000 His intellect uncanny, his insights profound.
00:23:08.000 One of a few in this world who can hold a candle to Eddie Glaude.
00:23:12.000 He couldn't indulge in Joe's lies or his fibs.
00:23:15.000 He was seconds away from destroying his ribs.
00:23:18.000 He's a poet, a preacher, a true bon vivant.
00:23:22.000 We've got Matty O'Dell.
00:23:24.000 What more could we want?
00:23:26.000 Joe, you're in this poem.
00:23:29.000 P.S.
00:23:29.000 Ryan, you suck and you've been playing all the segment transitions over the audio for the opening of this show.
00:23:34.000 Unfortunately, you're talking to someone who has left the company, sir.
00:23:37.000 But, uh, thank you for that.
00:23:40.000 Uh, maybe we should bring up the incident that you and Joe had the other day.
00:23:45.000 No, not, yeah, not on his first day.
00:23:47.000 Okay.
00:23:49.000 Because there was some words that were had.
00:23:50.000 We have, you know, I like Joe.
00:23:53.000 Joe's my buddy.
00:23:54.000 Okay.
00:23:56.000 Wouldn't it be funny if Ryan called in?
00:24:02.000 This is called Watch with Maddie.
00:24:05.000 So Joe, go through the subjects, assuming this didn't come up under Maddie, and find one that says Watch with Maddie.
00:24:15.000 By the way, Maddie, I sent you this.
00:24:16.000 I saw it on Chismob, and it was a bunch of convicts.
00:24:19.000 They were making burritos.
00:24:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:24:22.000 So they had taken the mattress off the bottom bunk, which is all steel.
00:24:25.000 Right.
00:24:26.000 They lit a fire with toilet paper underneath the bed.
00:24:29.000 So isn't that going to set off smoke alarms?
00:24:32.000 Not really.
00:24:32.000 I mean, people light fires all the time.
00:24:35.000 Like, they make tattoo ink and stuff with fire, and they make all sorts of stuff with fire.
00:24:39.000 What you do is, like, you either make a wick, like out of toilet paper... Can someone cut to Matty, please?
00:24:44.000 Joe, can you cut to Matty?
00:24:47.000 So... No.
00:24:48.000 Someone's talking.
00:24:49.000 You get toilet paper, I don't know, twice a week.
00:24:52.000 The COs give it out.
00:24:54.000 During count, they'll just drop two rolls of toilet paper in front of your cell.
00:24:58.000 But, like, if you're...
00:25:01.000 Uh huh.
00:25:01.000 Uh huh.
00:25:15.000 We're good to go!
00:25:46.000 Somebody did it at some point or they're gonna just find something metal or something and try to scrape all the paint off before they do it.
00:25:52.000 It looked like a party.
00:25:54.000 Okay Joe this is probably pretty ambitious for you but I'm going to try to send you what I am talking about.
00:26:02.000 Uh, where did I send that to you, Mattie, on Instagram?
00:26:05.000 Um... Because I was just so impressed... I think you sent it to me in a message and then I had to tell you that it was just taking me to the General Shishmobbing page.
00:26:14.000 It wasn't like the specific clip.
00:26:16.000 Okay, so...
00:26:17.000 Joe, go to the Shizmobin page.
00:26:20.000 That should be one of our bookmarks.
00:26:21.000 It's a constant source of ours where we get our news.
00:26:26.000 I like how we're seen as this sinister evil hate list.
00:26:30.000 I'm on the Facebook hate list where you can't say my name.
00:26:33.000 I got restricted yesterday or the other day.
00:26:36.000 For what?
00:26:37.000 Cuz I wrote the day before like the the mandate came out like I had the sign that said, you know, New York State implements mask mandate starts December 13th or whatever Monday was and then I Like somebody wrote in magic marker, but we will not comply.
00:26:57.000 I posted that like Sunday night and it was good and
00:27:01.000 And then the other day, like the next day or Tuesday or whatever day it was, I did it.
00:27:07.000 I wrote, um, fuck tyranny, fuck New York State, do not comply.
00:27:12.000 And then, but that got restricted and they restricted my account for a couple of days or whatever.
00:27:16.000 Isn't that amazing?
00:27:17.000 You're not allowed to say, do not comply.
00:27:23.000 Wow.
00:27:23.000 I mean, I understand, you know, if there's some dumb law and the police go, oh, you're not complying, you have to comply with this law.
00:27:30.000 That's fucked up.
00:27:30.000 Well, it's not a law.
00:27:31.000 Mandates aren't law.
00:27:32.000 Right, right.
00:27:33.000 But even in that scenario, like jaywalking, whatever, but now you're not even allowed to say, verbalize, or type.
00:27:40.000 So much for free speech, but...
00:27:43.000 It's like nobody's dying of Omicron.
00:27:46.000 No one's dying from COVID.
00:27:48.000 It's minimal.
00:27:49.000 It's over.
00:27:50.000 The whole thing is over.
00:27:52.000 It's sort of like at the end of World War II, a lot of Japanese kept their POWs and Germany kept POWs and made them help rebuild Germany.
00:28:04.000 They had to eventually get out.
00:28:05.000 I don't know how they eventually got out there.
00:28:07.000 I guess someone let it slip that World War II ended three years ago.
00:28:11.000 Okay, go down?
00:28:14.000 What the hell's that sound?
00:28:16.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:28:16.000 That's my phone.
00:28:16.000 I thought I turned it off.
00:28:20.000 What is your outgoing alarm?
00:28:22.000 It's Squad 51 from back in the 70s.
00:28:28.000 Okay.
00:28:29.000 Uh, nope, not Maddie.
00:28:31.000 Nope.
00:28:31.000 Not me.
00:28:31.000 Shiz Mobbin.
00:28:33.000 Nope.
00:28:33.000 Not the male.
00:28:37.000 And turn off your fucking phone, please.
00:28:38.000 Okay.
00:28:41.000 So scroll down.
00:28:44.000 Oh Lord.
00:28:47.000 Scroll down.
00:28:49.000 Yup.
00:28:50.000 Yup.
00:28:51.000 Yup.
00:28:52.000 Keep going.
00:28:53.000 Keep going.
00:28:54.000 Okay.
00:28:55.000 Not too fast.
00:28:57.000 Yeah.
00:28:59.000 Boy, they post a lot, don't they?
00:29:01.000 Shit, I hope it was shiz-mobbing.
00:29:06.000 No?
00:29:06.000 No, I think it might have been GrindFace.
00:29:08.000 Shit, it was.
00:29:09.000 Sorry, go to GrindFace.
00:29:11.000 GrindFace.
00:29:13.000 How do they get cameras into the prison?
00:29:15.000 Smuggling cell phones.
00:29:17.000 Wear up your ass?
00:29:18.000 Well, say if you were in MDC in Brooklyn or MCC in Manhattan, it'd probably cost you $3,500 for a phone.
00:29:27.000 How do you get that to the guard?
00:29:30.000 Outside.
00:29:31.000 Your people on the outside.
00:29:32.000 So, someone on the outside gives the guards, like mom or wife, $3,500.
00:29:36.000 Right, like someone will come visit you, tell them on a visit, you know, you gotta send money either, they may send it, you may meet in person, I doubt they'll meet in person, but it gets done quite frequently.
00:29:49.000 Yeah, I watch prison videos all the time.
00:29:51.000 When I was in MCC doing a violation,
00:29:56.000 I, uh, I worked in the H because I was a cadre there because I was only doing violation 10 months.
00:30:03.000 And I was working in the H factory.
00:30:06.000 Like that was my job.
00:30:07.000 Turn that off, Joe.
00:30:09.000 That's not it.
00:30:10.000 Fucking guy.
00:30:11.000 Yeah.
00:30:12.000 Keep going.
00:30:12.000 and uh part of our daily job was to go around and uh in each cell you have a vent that blows in like fresh air and then you have a return vent that's on the floor so anything that you're not supposed to have like contraband or anything if you need to get rid of it quick and then shut the water off where you can't flush it you just throw down the return vent because there's no screen or anything on it so we would we would go me my buddy his name was Archie and uh another Scottish guy oh oh yeah and um
00:30:43.000 We would go around to where all the vents would come in, like in the, in the ventilation system and where they came down to an end, they would have a door and we'd open the door.
00:30:51.000 We'd find hooch, cell phones, weapons, all sorts of crazy shit.
00:30:58.000 And that's because the COs were dropping it off there?
00:31:00.000 No, no, no.
00:31:01.000 Like either somebody's cell was getting searched or they were doing a shakedown.
00:31:04.000 Right.
00:31:05.000 That sounds, you're making prison sound really fun.
00:31:08.000 No, no.
00:31:09.000 Okay.
00:31:10.000 So go back to grind face there, guy.
00:31:15.000 1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000.
00:31:17.000 Scroll down.
00:31:20.000 Jesus H. Christ.
00:31:23.000 If you make me miss Ryan, I'll be impressed.
00:31:27.000 No, nah, nah, noop, noop.
00:31:32.000 I'm looking for a prison cooking.
00:31:34.000 This should be like a tenth of the time.
00:31:36.000 Oh, there it is!
00:31:37.000 You see those burritos?
00:31:38.000 Top left, right there.
00:31:42.000 These guys are having a good time.
00:31:44.000 Nope.
00:31:44.000 You gotta click on it.
00:31:46.000 Nope.
00:31:47.000 Nope.
00:31:48.000 Nope.
00:31:48.000 Nope.
00:31:49.000 Nope.
00:31:49.000 Nope.
00:31:49.000 Nope.
00:31:50.000 Wrong video completely.
00:31:52.000 There.
00:31:53.000 Burritos.
00:31:53.000 Left.
00:31:54.000 The burritos.
00:31:55.000 The burritos!
00:31:58.000 THE BURRITOS!
00:32:03.000 Holy shit.
00:32:06.000 It's like... This is where I start to wonder if you're hired by the feds to make me go insane.
00:32:11.000 Right there.
00:32:12.000 Are you a CIA operative?
00:32:15.000 Okay.
00:32:15.000 So there's, I don't get how there's, there's no smoke really.
00:32:18.000 No.
00:32:20.000 So I guess it's not going to set off any alarms, but there they are.
00:32:24.000 They got Doritos, Zappies, and then they got a giant bucket.
00:32:30.000 Oh yeah.
00:32:32.000 Cooking food on the weekend in the joint.
00:32:34.000 Wait, I heard music there.
00:32:36.000 It sounded like a fuck you dad.
00:32:39.000 We're not getting these interstitials are we?
00:32:44.000 Can I hear the audio for that please?
00:32:47.000 Lord.
00:32:49.000 Our telethon tomorrow is going to be all about why you left censored TV.
00:32:56.000 Alright, I give up.
00:33:01.000 Alright, so we should probably go behind the paywall now.
00:33:04.000 You know what's going on, that's what's going on.
00:33:07.000 I wouldn't tell you to come fuck with our grill, but it's surreal.
00:33:12.000 Straight up.
00:33:14.000 Hey, Joe.
00:33:16.000 Do you... Wait, where'd you go?
00:33:19.000 Do you, uh... What do you look at on Instagram?
00:33:21.000 What are your hot spots?
00:33:23.000 Turn that fucking thing off, please.
00:33:25.000 Just close the entire window.
00:33:26.000 Wow, this is a catastrophe.
00:33:41.000 What do you like to look at on Instagram?
00:33:43.000 I'm not much of a really Instagram person.
00:33:45.000 What are your social media sites?
00:33:48.000 I don't usually do a lot of social media.
00:33:51.000 There's just too much negative stuff out there.
00:33:55.000 Okay um now I've always been curious and no one can answer this for me I recall a time about six months ago where you were absolutely drowning in pussy you had a different chick over every week and it was all like hey did you get to meet Claudia and then it was then she was gone then it was Nancy or whoever they were and they came by and they'd get drunk and we had a gay old time with them they were pretty reasonable you're what 68?
00:34:23.000 Oh, thank you.
00:34:24.000 Fifty-eight.
00:34:24.000 Fifty-eight.
00:34:25.000 So they were all like forties and stuff.
00:34:27.000 They all look pretty darn good to me.
00:34:29.000 And then poof.
00:34:31.000 No more chicks.
00:34:33.000 What happened?
00:34:34.000 You meet them on the Internet.
00:34:35.000 It's not the same when you meet somebody in person or at a bar or something like that back in, you know, a little bit.
00:34:42.000 Internet dating is not the way to go.
00:34:44.000 I don't like it.
00:34:45.000 But that doesn't explain how it was nothing, nothing, nothing, sea of chicks, nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:34:52.000 What's that got to do with the Internet?
00:34:54.000 That's where you meet them today.
00:34:55.000 You can't, you know, it's hard to meet somebody.
00:34:56.000 But why did you stop meeting them?
00:34:58.000 Huh?
00:34:59.000 Why did you stop meeting them?
00:35:01.000 I wasn't, uh, I didn't like them.
00:35:03.000 I wasn't into them.
00:35:04.000 After a few months, it was not, uh, it was not for me.
00:35:07.000 But why were you into all those chicks and then not into those chicks just overnight?
00:35:13.000 That's it, you know.
00:35:14.000 Just wanted to get his hole.
00:35:17.000 Okay, but why would one be horny for a little while and then not before or after?
00:35:23.000 That's just the way it is.
00:35:23.000 Can't answer that.
00:35:25.000 Did you get your penis caught in your fly?
00:35:28.000 Uh, no.
00:35:28.000 No, he's good.
00:35:29.000 Joey T's good.
00:35:30.000 Oh, you have a name for your penis?
00:35:32.000 Yeah.
00:35:33.000 Joey T. You know what my dick's name is?
00:35:38.000 This should be good.
00:35:38.000 Uh, no.
00:35:39.000 Joe Tonelli.
00:35:40.000 Oh.
00:35:44.000 Okay, speaking of convicts, this is the last one before we go behind the paywall.
00:35:49.000 I was told to watch this with Matty.
00:35:53.000 Breathe, breathe.
00:35:54.000 You know what, dude?
00:35:54.000 Just stop touching buttons if there's nothing going on.
00:35:58.000 So this email is called Watch with Matty.
00:36:01.000 It says, convicts fighting for money.
00:36:03.000 Watch to the end to see what Matty was going to do to Joe.
00:36:08.000 Sounds like this guy's familiar with the beef you guys had.
00:36:14.000 So play that video.
00:36:15.000 It's from a guy named Lee.
00:36:17.000 Watch with Maddie is the subject.
00:36:20.000 It arrived across our desk, November 18th.
00:36:23.000 We're going way back here.
00:36:27.000 Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do.
00:36:34.000 This is not good advertising, is it?
00:36:37.000 Oh, this is ancient Chinese secret.
00:36:40.000 God damn.
00:36:42.000 Well, have you ever seen this video, Matt?
00:36:44.000 Done a little bit, yeah.
00:36:45.000 Where at?
00:36:46.000 Um, I did six years in YA and then, uh, 19 months in the joint.
00:36:50.000 What'd you do?
00:36:52.000 I stabbed some dude in the neck four times.
00:36:55.000 Cause he was a rat.
00:36:57.000 Gotta let him know what time it is.
00:36:58.000 What's one of your most memorable fights?
00:37:00.000 Probably that time that I stabbed that dude.
00:37:03.000 I expected him to drop, but he got up and wanted to fight.
00:37:07.000 So, it was pretty sick.
00:37:08.000 Blood was shooting out of his neck.
00:37:09.000 It was awesome.
00:37:11.000 My name is Tommy, I'm fighting for felony fights, and I'm here to wreck some shit.
00:37:16.000 What are you here to do?
00:37:17.000 I'm Miguel Alvarez, I just came here today to entertain you guys, you know?
00:37:21.000 Check yourself some fucking fights, some badass fights.
00:37:23.000 Joe, can you put me in the bottom corner?
00:37:24.000 Like I showed you?
00:37:25.000 Hey, you guys, are you ready, homie?
00:37:26.000 You ready to handle this shit?
00:37:27.000 You ready to handle this shit like a champ, homie?
00:37:52.000 This is my first fight, man.
00:37:55.000 Your first fight ever?
00:37:56.000 Ever.
00:37:58.000 Are you bullshitting me?
00:38:00.000 He's jaw is broken.
00:38:01.000 So is his overall socket.
00:38:04.000 He's toast.
00:38:06.000 Yep.
00:38:07.000 You make weird noise when you lock up.
00:38:09.000 You get knocked out.
00:38:10.000 It's involuntary.
00:38:11.000 A lot of people's hands go up.
00:38:16.000 And then they don't know what happened at all.
00:38:19.000 They're like, what happened?
00:38:21.000 I've experienced that.
00:38:22.000 I didn't know who my kids were.
00:38:25.000 I knew, I knew my wife's Emily.
00:38:27.000 I knew Emily was an important name.
00:38:29.000 I didn't know why.
00:38:30.000 Why am I in Oakland?
00:38:32.000 Bad times.
00:38:33.000 You ever been knocked out Joe?
00:38:35.000 Yeah.
00:38:36.000 What happened?
00:38:38.000 Got into a fight and got knocked out.
00:38:42.000 What was the fight about?
00:38:44.000 It was about 30 years ago.
00:38:46.000 I can't remember.
00:38:46.000 I don't know what it was about.
00:38:47.000 I think it was a little intoxicated.
00:38:51.000 Okay.
00:38:52.000 Were you a big drinker back in the day?
00:38:54.000 No.
00:38:59.000 Okay.
00:38:59.000 I think we should wrap it up.
00:39:00.000 Get behind the paywall.
00:39:02.000 Before we go though.
00:39:05.000 What did you say to Maddie, Joe?
00:39:06.000 I don't recall.
00:39:38.000 You don't recall?
00:39:39.000 This was like a week ago.
00:39:42.000 Not a little longer than that.
00:39:43.000 Right.
00:39:44.000 Two weeks ago?
00:39:49.000 Tactical Walls, Tactical Tim, big supporter of the show.
00:39:53.000 He's a war vet.
00:39:55.000 He is an American patriot.
00:39:57.000 He's sponsored this show since day one and it seems that we have a disproportionate number of patriots and I believe it's because every other sponsor takes the knee because they get harassed by Antifa, by the woke mob, by the DNC, by everyone.
00:40:14.000 And it means that when you have a bunch of sponsors on a show like this, every single one of them has balls.
00:40:23.000 And Tactical Walls has balls.
00:40:25.000 However, even if they didn't have balls, you'd still want this in your home.
00:40:29.000 What a fantastic way to display your guns.
00:40:32.000 Look at that mod wall.
00:40:33.000 These are all made in America.
00:40:37.000 By Americans, patriot owned, vet owned business.
00:40:41.000 Look at that shit.
00:40:42.000 And if you live in a shitty state like New York, where it's illegal to have any kind of gun, you can get yourself a little kid finger painting and she can put her art on the mod wall.
00:40:53.000 No, they've got all kinds of places to hide your guns.
00:40:56.000 They've got places from tissue boxes to mirrors embedded in the wall.
00:41:02.000 Really quick access, home invasion, any kind of robbery.
00:41:06.000 You're going to be ready and armed.
00:41:08.000 And if they break in, they're not going to be able to find your stuff.
00:41:11.000 Also, if you don't have any guns, you can use it for your kids' baseball display, dirt bike stuff.
00:41:18.000 Joe's not doing the greatest job in the world of showing all the different things that Tactical Walls has, but if you go to tacticalwalls.com, you use promo code GAVIN, and also GAVIN15, they both work, you get 15% off.
00:41:33.000 Your next order, which they ship to you.
00:41:36.000 Uh, very easy to put together.
00:41:38.000 You need a level and, uh, you got to find out where the studs are.
00:41:41.000 And after that, you're good to go.
00:41:43.000 And the possibilities are absolutely endless with Tactical Walls.
00:41:47.000 Okay.
00:41:47.000 So we're going to go behind the paywall now.
00:41:51.000 And, uh, we'll answer a couple more emails directed to Sir Mats a lot.
00:41:58.000 And then we will, um, take calls.
00:42:02.000 Now taking calls is complicated technically and we have a new engineer here so I'm predicting it's going to go so badly
00:42:10.000 That we're just going to have to stop and end the show.
00:42:14.000 That's my prediction, but then the next show will be better.
00:42:17.000 How this telethon is going to go.
00:42:19.000 I have no idea because this show has been a catastrophe and multiply this 50 minutes, 45 minutes by upwards of 24 and you're going to have a literal shit show.
00:42:36.000 Alright, so now we end the show.
00:42:40.000 So, Joe, remember I told you how to end the show?
00:42:46.000 Hello?
00:42:48.000 Yes.
00:42:49.000 Okay, so we're gonna end the show like that, and then that makes it, we put it on a podcast and stuff, so that makes it a nice, you know, book-ended, clean ending, but we're not leaving.
00:43:00.000 So do the ending and then I'm gonna fake walk out and come back in.
00:43:05.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.