Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #131

00:01:37.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Wand with Devin That's a first.

00:02:04.000 It's got great sound, even with the obstructions, the obstacles in its way.

00:02:08.000 Yeah, you'd think it would sound muffled down there.

00:02:12.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to GOML Live. 0.97

00:02:16.000 I was raped on the way here, and my voice is a little hoarse from screaming. 0.78

00:02:22.000 Help! 0.98

00:02:23.000 Help! 0.98

00:02:23.000 No one came except the perpetrator. 0.98

00:02:28.000 Don't interrupt me because you'd guessed the end of it.

00:02:30.000 I knew it because you told me before.

00:02:32.000 Welcome back, Maddie O'Dell.

00:02:35.000 Up, everybody.

00:02:37.000 Haven't had him here in two weeks, right?

00:02:39.000 No, New Year's Eve, I was here.

00:02:41.000 Well, we had Jan 6.

00:02:42.000 Just meandering.

00:02:44.000 Right.

00:02:45.000 But that's two weeks.

00:02:46.000 Yeah.

00:02:48.000 That's two.

00:02:49.000 My two co-stars have corrected me now twice.

00:02:53.000 I'm not good at math.

00:02:54.000 I was always told don't do math in public. 1.00

00:02:56.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:02:57.000 Where did we see that before? 1.00

00:02:59.000 Where they said, I'm not doing two.

00:03:00.000 Oh, yeah, I was watching a documentary about Agnostic Front, and the singer, Roger Murray Morette, was on the phone.

00:03:07.000 He's like, I can't do that.

00:03:08.000 No, I got a family now.

00:03:10.000 I'm not doing two. 0.99

00:03:11.000 I'm not doing three fucking weeks. 0.99

00:03:12.000 No way. 0.99

00:03:13.000 25 days tops.

00:03:14.000 He's not doing too well.

00:03:17.000 Are you sure?

00:03:18.000 Yeah, he's been in and out of the hospital with cancer.

00:03:20.000 Oh, right.

00:03:21.000 Yeah.

00:03:24.000 He's unlike Joe.

00:03:26.000 He's really going through it.

00:03:29.000 I thought he had beat it, though.

00:03:30.000 Can we get an update on that, Ryan?

00:03:33.000 Joey Moretz?

00:03:34.000 Roger Moret.

00:03:36.000 Joey Moretz, he says.

00:03:40.000 You got the sponsors there?

00:03:43.000 What are they?

00:03:43.000 I can just wing it.

00:03:44.000 Let's see.

00:03:46.000 Roger Moret.

00:03:49.000 Like, check news.

00:03:53.000 No, you spelt it wrong.

00:03:55.000 M-I-R-E-T. 0.98

00:04:00.000 Remember the other day we're trying to find some guy who was making fun of people at the gym, and he types in J-I-M.

00:04:07.000 For gym.

00:04:08.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 G-Y-M. 1.00

00:04:11.000 Shocking.

00:04:11.000 At the gym.

00:04:12.000 While we're shitting on you, Ryan, and you look up those two assignments. 0.67

00:04:16.000 One is to find out the latest on Roger Moret, and the other is to find out the sponsors. 1.00

00:04:21.000 I want to give you shit for this fucking mantis shrimp. 1.00

00:04:26.000 Okay. 1.00

00:04:26.000 Where the fuck is it? 1.00

00:04:28.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:04:30.000 Well, it was your assignment.

00:04:34.000 Yeah.

00:04:36.000 Okay, that's September 11th.

00:04:38.000 September 11th?

00:04:39.000 It's in remission, yeah.

00:04:41.000 That's kind of cool.

00:04:42.000 I mean, I follow him on social media, and he was actually in the hospital a couple times.

00:04:47.000 Since September?

00:04:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:49.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Huh. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Moment of silence. 1.00

00:04:55.000 Yeah, we need you to get us a mantis shrimp.

00:04:58.000 Okay.

00:04:59.000 What is your deal?

00:05:01.000 Okay.

00:05:02.000 I don't know.

00:05:03.000 I'll get a mantis shrimp.

00:05:05.000 Get it now.

00:05:06.000 Let's watch you do it.

00:05:07.000 How do you do it anyway?

00:05:09.000 Because when I looked it up, it was like, there's one in Arizona.

00:05:12.000 What are we going to do? 0.99

00:05:13.000 Ship it here in a fucking styrofoam container? 0.99

00:05:15.000 Wait, I got forwarded the ad reads and I can't see the attachment. 0.99

00:05:19.000 Okay, I'll handle these attacks.

00:05:20.000 I can't genie the attachment.

00:05:24.000 But like, how do you get a weird fish like that?

00:05:29.000 I believe they send it to you.

00:05:31.000 Okay, how?

00:05:33.000 In like some sort of cooler.

00:05:35.000 That's crazy, man.

00:05:37.000 Yeah.

00:05:37.000 That's crazy, Jamie.

00:05:41.000 How the fuck does it survive? 0.99

00:05:44.000 It doesn't. 0.98

00:05:45.000 Okay, I got the live reads here.

00:05:47.000 And the first one is tactical walls, of course.

00:05:50.000 Tactical walls, they're here on our walls.

00:05:53.000 And we're jealous that we can't have guns here in New York.

00:05:58.000 We can have rifles and stuff, but the rest of America gets those cool handgun holders and stuff.

00:06:05.000 And we can have long guns.

00:06:07.000 That's about it.

00:06:07.000 What's the rule?

00:06:08.000 36 inches?

00:06:09.000 How long does the barrel have to be?

00:06:10.000 16 inches.

00:06:11.000 16 inches. 0.52

00:06:12.000 So basically with two of my boners, head to head is what it has to be.

00:06:19.000 And that's not good enough. 1.00

00:06:21.000 We want them to be even smaller than my dick. 1.00

00:06:24.000 So like under 9 inches. 0.95

00:06:27.000 TacticalWalls.com, you use The promo code, which will appear right here shortly, Gavin15.

00:06:35.000 You get, what is it, 15% off?

00:06:38.000 20% off.

00:06:39.000 Yeah, enter the promo code, Gavin, get 20% off all orders.

00:06:43.000 Go to tacticalwalls.com.

00:06:45.000 And I can't even begin to list the things.

00:06:47.000 So initially, when we say tactical walls, you go, oh, that's cool.

00:06:50.000 I can display my guns.

00:06:52.000 That is the main thing they sell, but it's the tip of the iceberg.

00:06:56.000 Cool doohickeys for your Jeep when you open it up and it's got all these holders and stuff? 0.99

00:07:02.000 Workbench shit, places to secretly hide your guns. 0.98

00:07:07.000 I mean, the options are endless. 1.00

00:07:08.000 This guy is an idiot savant when it comes to plastic. 1.00

00:07:12.000 Unfortunately, occasionally we have to deal with the idiot part, but you don't. 1.00

00:07:15.000 You just get the savant all the time. 1.00

00:07:17.000 I'm just kidding, Tim.

00:07:18.000 I'm just kidding.

00:07:20.000 So TacticalWalls.com is a sponsor of today's show.

00:07:23.000 We have no other sponsors.

00:07:25.000 Maybe Johnny Apple CBD is mad at me because I talked about my wife getting way too high on the Delta 8.

00:07:34.000 Sorry.

00:07:35.000 I don't think that's bad, Johnny Appleseed. 1.00

00:07:38.000 I mean, I'm saying that people can get really high on your shit. 1.00

00:07:43.000 Isn't that good? 1.00

00:07:45.000 Like, don't you want people to go, oh, good, I can get legal weed?

00:07:48.000 I guess all weed is legal these days.

00:07:50.000 You couldn't get arrested for pot these days, could you?

00:07:53.000 Well, it's recreational in New York State now.

00:07:55.000 What if we had, this desk was all weed?

00:07:59.000 Well, on your person, you're allowed three ounces.

00:08:03.000 And in your home, you're allowed up to five pounds.

00:08:07.000 That's it.

00:08:09.000 Five pounds, that wouldn't last me a night.

00:08:10.000 So what if you get caught in your house with six pounds?

00:08:14.000 I guess you could get in trouble, I guess.

00:08:16.000 They'd probably give you a five pounds. 0.98

00:08:17.000 But you gotta understand, just because New York State made it legal, same in California, they made it legal years ago, medical and then recreational, it's still illegal federally.

00:08:27.000 Oh, right.

00:08:28.000 So anything could happen.

00:08:30.000 Right.

00:08:31.000 If the feds want to come in and kick your door and arrest you for it, they could because it's not.

00:08:35.000 Because you're in two places.

00:08:37.000 You're in New York, but you're also in America.

00:08:39.000 Yeah.

00:08:40.000 And that's the problem with investing in all of these CBD places.

00:08:44.000 CBD's legal.

00:08:45.000 What?

00:08:45.000 CBD's legal.

00:08:46.000 Sorry.

00:08:46.000 But investing in all these weed dispensaries is your money's not safe because it could get shut down at any moment.

00:08:53.000 Well, for a long time, I mean, I was in the business for a little bit, and you couldn't get like the issues that you have, processor servers, banks.

00:09:01.000 They didn't want anything to do with it.

00:09:03.000 Like, you would have it for a few months and then they would find out and shut you down.

00:09:07.000 And you'd have to keep going from bank to bank to bank, processing server, processing server.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, actually, while we were having trouble with payment processors, that's we ended up with people who do porn and people who do CBD and weed dispensaries and all that.

00:09:20.000 The banks didn't want anything to do with it.

00:09:23.000 So this show is as dangerous as drugs.

00:09:27.000 What does that tell you? 1.00

00:09:29.000 This is your brain. 0.95

00:09:30.000 This is your brain on drugs. 1.00

00:09:32.000 That clock keeps fucking me up because it stopped. 0.99

00:09:36.000 So did you get us a mantis shrimp yet? 0.98

00:09:40.000 I'm still on it.

00:09:41.000 Look it up.

00:09:41.000 Let's see you.

00:09:42.000 Look for it.

00:09:42.000 And one of our fans has a mantis shrimp that's famous on YouTube.

00:09:47.000 Really?

00:09:48.000 Now, some of them look kind of gray and green.

00:09:51.000 I don't want that.

00:09:52.000 I want the blinding one that's a rainbow.

00:09:55.000 It's a rainbow.

00:09:58.000 Let's see it.

00:10:02.000 Peacock mantis shrimp.

00:10:04.000 Oh, that's what it is.

00:10:05.000 Yeah.

00:10:06.000 Peacock mantis shrimp.

00:10:07.000 How much is that? 1.00

00:10:09.000 Fucking. 0.99

00:10:10.000 $100, no problem. 1.00

00:10:12.000 I got that on me.

00:10:13.000 I spend that on foreskins for my foreskin collection. 0.95

00:10:16.000 Maybe in two weeks.

00:10:17.000 I collect foreskins.

00:10:18.000 I didn't know this.

00:10:19.000 Yep.

00:10:20.000 I have them pickled in brine.

00:10:24.000 But let me see that.

00:10:25.000 So what do you go back?

00:10:27.000 We're finally making some progress on this.

00:10:29.000 I think three-year endeavor.

00:10:31.000 So your price, $100.

00:10:35.000 And then, okay, so say you add to cart.

00:10:40.000 Add to cart. 0.99

00:10:44.000 Okay.

00:10:44.000 Why do you keep buddy hiding?

00:10:48.000 Proceed to checkout.

00:10:51.000 I just don't want any of my personal info to be auto-filled.

00:10:54.000 Oh, I see.

00:10:55.000 So I'm trying to make sure we don't.

00:10:58.000 Well, there's nothing there.

00:10:59.000 But what does it say?

00:11:01.000 Does it say like boxes and bags?

00:11:05.000 Yeah.

00:11:06.000 Eight bucks for that. 0.76

00:11:07.000 That's fine.

00:11:08.000 What are boxes and bags?

00:11:10.000 Well, it's just going to be in a plastic bag filled with water, salt water.

00:11:13.000 And they're going to put it in there.

00:11:15.000 They're going to seal it.

00:11:16.000 And they're going to put it in like a styrofoam box and send it to you.

00:11:19.000 That's a tough little guy if he can survive on the FedEx truck.

00:11:23.000 I'm going to see.

00:11:23.000 Unboxing Manta Shrimp.

00:11:25.000 I'm going to look this up.

00:11:26.000 Hey, hold on a sec.

00:11:26.000 I've got to throw you my credit card.

00:11:28.000 Okay.

00:11:31.000 Ready? 1.00

00:11:34.000 Shit, I'm good at throwing credit cards. 1.00

00:11:36.000 You don't have a saltwater tank, do you? 1.00

00:11:38.000 No, it's a hard.

00:11:41.000 Just get one.

00:11:42.000 It's so hard to maintain.

00:11:44.000 The shrimp are the most finicky of the fish.

00:11:49.000 You can handle it.

00:11:50.000 Tough.

00:11:53.000 Unboxing mantis shrimp.

00:11:55.000 Aren't they like an exoskeleton or something?

00:11:58.000 Oh, yeah.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, they're an insect.

00:12:00.000 They're not really a fish.

00:12:01.000 No. 0.80

00:12:02.000 Jewish people can't eat them. 1.00

00:12:04.000 That's why I want one.

00:12:05.000 Because the past four fish we've had, we had a Hamoka fish.

00:12:10.000 Jews broke in here and ate it. 0.99

00:12:12.000 We had a koi fish.

00:12:14.000 I saw there was two yamulkas on the ground.

00:12:16.000 They must have fallen off when they were stealing it.

00:12:20.000 One of them had his address in his. 0.99

00:12:23.000 What's going on with your fucking shirt there, dude? 1.00

00:12:26.000 Got a hole in it. 1.00

00:12:27.000 I hate that. 0.99

00:12:28.000 What the fuck is that for his thumb when it's extended? 1.00

00:12:31.000 I hate the kids today. 0.99

00:12:33.000 That's not an example of it, but they're thin, flimsy Dart Vader's boss sweatshirt hoods that are like thinner than sock material.

00:12:44.000 The thing we're putting in this tank cannot, the corals cannot be in there, bro.

00:12:48.000 Look at that amazing coral.

00:12:49.000 I got him.

00:12:50.000 Look at that.

00:12:51.000 Beautiful species.

00:12:52.000 Bubble tin anemone.

00:12:55.000 As we're getting the rocks out, I'm going to attempt to get in there with my net that has a hair on it. 0.93

00:13:00.000 Disgusting.

00:13:02.000 Cool that is. 0.99

00:13:02.000 I would get 100 of those and have them. 0.99

00:13:04.000 Can we just see the raccoon?

00:13:06.000 I mean, look down at the bottom.

00:13:10.000 This generation really doesn't know how to get to the point, do you think?

00:13:15.000 This is so biggie is worth finging.

00:13:19.000 Don't look at him yet.

00:13:20.000 Okay, here we go. 1.00

00:13:22.000 Am I an old asshole or are these kids annoying the shit out of me? 1.00

00:13:25.000 It's cute, bro. 1.00

00:13:26.000 Maybe it's it.

00:13:28.000 Oh my god.

00:13:28.000 Oh my god, it's sick!

00:13:30.000 It's so fing cool! 1.00

00:13:32.000 That thing wants to fing kill me. 1.00

00:13:34.000 Holy shit, it's punching the air already. 1.00

00:13:35.000 I'm taking this bag out. 0.99

00:13:37.000 It's time.

00:13:37.000 Let's go, guys.

00:13:38.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:13:40.000 Holy shit. 0.98

00:13:41.000 We're gonna have our unboxing is gonna be way better. 0.99

00:13:46.000 What they need to do is put the bag in the tank and let the water acclimate to the temperature of the tank and then let them out. 1.00

00:13:52.000 Because if you do that, you're gonna kill that motherfucker. 1.00

00:13:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:55.000 Are they not doing that for real?

00:13:57.000 Well, they just put it in a box first.

00:13:58.000 They didn't just pour it in the tank.

00:14:01.000 Right, but you have to have the box.

00:14:03.000 What he's saying is, if they're gonna acclimate them into the box, put the box in the tank, but that doesn't work.

00:14:08.000 You gotta put the bag in the tank so the temperature is the same.

00:14:11.000 Oh, and then let the bag open and like let them out into the tank.

00:14:16.000 Yeah.

00:14:17.000 But what they just did, they took them out, put them in that.

00:14:19.000 These guys, they can smash through an inch of glass.

00:14:21.000 They can smash the strips quietly.

00:14:22.000 Oh, my God.

00:14:23.000 I want that.

00:14:24.000 I want, I want, I want, I need, I need, I need.

00:14:28.000 And then you feed them fish, I think.

00:14:30.000 I'm worried.

00:14:30.000 I don't want to flood.

00:14:31.000 Yeah, that's something else, man.

00:14:32.000 I'll tell you what.

00:14:32.000 Been in the Aquarium Hobby College.

00:14:34.000 How big do they get?

00:14:36.000 I don't think they grow.

00:14:38.000 You heard that?

00:14:40.000 Yeah.

00:14:43.000 We get to do that. 0.86

00:14:44.000 Guys, we've had this thing overnight, and he is an absolute savage.

00:14:47.000 We're going to try to feed him right now.

00:14:48.000 Brooke, put her finger right here. 1.00

00:14:50.000 Charge the camera.

00:14:50.000 We're not going to beat our mantis shrimp.

00:14:53.000 Yeah, that's what I got. 1.00

00:14:54.000 But I am going to put my dick in the tank. 1.00

00:14:56.000 That's a good idea. 1.00

00:14:59.000 If your dick can't take a smash with a mantis shrimp, you have a shitty dick. 1.00

00:15:04.000 You have a less than shrimp dick. 1.00

00:15:12.000 So a saltwater tank. 1.00

00:15:14.000 How hard can that be?

00:15:15.000 You get a tank.

00:15:16.000 Oh, it's time consuming.

00:15:17.000 It's terrible.

00:15:18.000 It's terrible.

00:15:18.000 What's the time consuming?

00:15:19.000 Why are you such a fish expert?

00:15:21.000 I knew Ryan was into it, but you know what?

00:15:23.000 I knew guys that they had brackish water tanks.

00:15:25.000 They had saltwater tanks.

00:15:26.000 It's just a lot of upkeep.

00:15:29.000 Like what?

00:15:31.000 You're going to empty it out every few days?

00:15:34.000 Oh, pH balance, temperatures, species.

00:15:39.000 It's a lot of involvement.

00:15:40.000 The right subspecies.

00:15:40.000 It's not like you win a goldfish at the fair and you've got a little bowl and you throw a fish in there.

00:15:45.000 But we're here every day.

00:15:48.000 I mean, yeah, I mean.

00:15:49.000 And I assume it can go two, three days over the weekend without.

00:15:54.000 Right?

00:15:56.000 Let's see.

00:15:57.000 Sure.

00:15:57.000 This is a video telling all about all about mantis shrimp, how to care for them, and I'm even going to tell you guys where I got mine and where you can get one yourself.

00:16:07.000 Ow, ow, ow. 1.00

00:16:11.000 So start off what a mantis shrimp is.

00:16:15.000 It's actually not a type of shrimp.

00:16:17.000 It is a stomatopod, which is an ancient group of marine predators that are distantly related to other crusts.

00:16:24.000 Don't you think, like, this is my belief.

00:16:26.000 I believe in God, but I also believe in evolution.

00:16:28.000 I believe in the Big Bang.

00:16:29.000 And my religious beliefs are, and I think the Pope is fine with this. 0.98

00:16:34.000 Just like the movie Prometheus, when that guy ate the shit and he dissolved, and then he went into the ocean and became life. 0.95

00:16:43.000 So God set up this first little domino with this little microchip in it, and he pushed that, and then everything evolved from that. 0.94

00:16:51.000 So this is all part of the plan.

00:16:54.000 Not that we don't have free will. 0.96

00:16:55.000 You could blow your own head off right now. 0.98

00:16:56.000 Of course. 0.84

00:16:57.000 But he knew that there'd be a Maddie Odell.

00:16:59.000 He knew some guys would have bad hearts.

00:17:01.000 Some guys would have good hearts.

00:17:02.000 Some people would die of lung cancer.

00:17:04.000 But if they didn't smoke at all, some people could smoke their whole lives.

00:17:07.000 That's all like programmed in.

00:17:09.000 And there's checks and balances too. 1.00

00:17:10.000 Like, I don't want you to fuck your sister. 1.00

00:17:13.000 Okay, I'm going to make the kid retarded. 1.00

00:17:15.000 Like, just don't do that. 0.99

00:17:17.000 Or Middle Eastern.

00:17:18.000 I don't want you to murder people.

00:17:20.000 Okay, people who murder people are going to have nightmares.

00:17:22.000 They're not going to be embraced into society.

00:17:25.000 There's all kinds of checks and balances.

00:17:26.000 He doesn't like socialism, even communism.

00:17:29.000 Stalin plays God.

00:17:31.000 He tries to feed millions of people.

00:17:33.000 Everyone dies.

00:17:34.000 The free market, nature, everything is natural.

00:17:38.000 But while all this is happening, I think there was some like splash marks.

00:17:44.000 So he like jizzed his magic and made human beings. 0.99

00:17:47.000 But then there's all these losers, which are animals. 1.00

00:17:50.000 Animals are losers. 1.00

00:17:51.000 And he doesn't really care about them. 1.00

00:17:53.000 He's like, eat them if you want.

00:17:54.000 I don't know.

00:17:54.000 I got some jizz on the wall and it made a thing.

00:17:57.000 I was going for humans. 0.87

00:17:59.000 That was my main thing.

00:18:01.000 Humans and then a place for them. 0.97

00:18:03.000 And I made some coral and some that shit happen naturally in the background. 0.97

00:18:06.000 And then some animals ended up. 1.00

00:18:08.000 They're like shitty humans. 0.99

00:18:10.000 So he was, it's sort of like you're making a bomb, but then there were some other explosions over there. 1.00

00:18:16.000 And some animals are pretty good.

00:18:18.000 Dogs turned out great.

00:18:20.000 Cats are all right. 1.00

00:18:22.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:18:23.000 We were, you know, mice, little rodents for a while. 1.00

00:18:31.000 But then there's stuff that is just off the wall, like hammerhead sharks. 0.98

00:18:37.000 What the fuck is happening there? 0.95

00:18:39.000 Yeah, some of the creatures in the ocean are. 0.99

00:18:42.000 I think God sees hammerhead sharks and he goes, oh, whoa. 0.99

00:18:48.000 And same with fucking peacock mantis shrimp. 1.00

00:18:52.000 Like, that's just a boring mantis shrimp, but they were not part of the grand plan. 0.99

00:18:58.000 The grand plan included crazy mistakes, and that's one of the mistakes.

00:19:03.000 Oh, that's a mantis shrimp killing. 0.90

00:19:07.000 See, we can't see.

00:19:11.000 It's killing another shrimp, it seems.

00:19:14.000 That looks like a crawfish.

00:19:15.000 Oh, a crawfish.

00:19:17.000 Yeah, he just has this thing that comes out and bonks them.

00:19:20.000 This is what you need to do and what you need to watch out for if you're going to keep a mantis shrimp in your aquarium.

00:19:26.000 First thing is first, food.

00:19:28.000 These guys are really thin.

00:19:30.000 No, that's not first thing first.

00:19:31.000 Mantis shrimp in particular will not accept freeze-dried krill or freeze-dried anything for that matter.

00:19:38.000 It needs to either be frozen, as in frozen clams on the half shell.

00:19:43.000 Every once in a while, he'll eat some frozen krill just as a little treat.

00:19:47.000 But he's not the type of thing that will, or the type of animal that will eat the same meal over and over again.

00:19:54.000 Because in the wild, they are opportunistic predators and they go for a lot of different things.

00:19:58.000 So, you need to vary their diet.

00:20:00.000 That should be his name, opportunistic predator.

00:20:03.000 Sounds like a name for a band.

00:20:05.000 Not only that, you have to feed them live food.

00:20:08.000 Hunting is like the biggest thing in the mantis shrimp world. 0.78

00:20:11.000 Like, not only would you not get a mantis shrimp to not feed it live food, like, that just wouldn't make sense, but these guys are not going to be happy unless they are going out and hunting and punching the shit out of their prey because that is what they love to do.

00:20:25.000 They will literally go around and punch rocks and break off rocks just because they're bored and they have nothing to do.

00:20:30.000 And of course, you would never want to keep anything with a mantis shrimp because it will eat it.

00:20:37.000 Not only that, it will eat fish too.

00:20:39.000 I know I said that clubbing or not clubbing, but punching mantis shrimp will not go for fish, but they will. 0.76

00:20:47.000 Mine has eaten goldfish.

00:20:48.000 You can click that link above.

00:20:50.000 It's a video of goldfishes.

00:20:51.000 Here's the plan.

00:20:52.000 Throw me my credit card back, or I'm going to forget to ask you for it.

00:20:56.000 And by the way, you seem reluctant to want to do this because it's more work for you.

00:20:59.000 It's your job.

00:21:00.000 You're getting paid.

00:21:02.000 It's not like I'm going to say, you know, come in here on a Sunday.

00:21:06.000 No, it's not that.

00:21:08.000 I don't want to let this guy down.

00:21:10.000 I mean, because I've considered having saltwater fish, and it's just so much.

00:21:14.000 You don't want to let the shrimp down?

00:21:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:17.000 It's a fucking bug. 1.00

00:21:18.000 See, that's where we differ. 1.00

00:21:20.000 It's an expensive bug.

00:21:21.000 It's a beautiful creature.

00:21:23.000 How is it more valuable than a fruit fly?

00:21:26.000 Oh, because fruit flies, you don't want to watch that.

00:21:28.000 You could watch this guy all day.

00:21:30.000 Show me a video of a fruit fly.

00:21:32.000 You could make a shrimp fly.

00:21:33.000 So you'd value life by how aesthetically appealing the creature is.

00:21:36.000 Well, when it comes to taking care of it, I mean, I can take, like, look how easy it is to take care of a fruit fly.

00:21:42.000 That shows you the value.

00:21:43.000 Like, nothing good comes of no work.

00:21:45.000 And these guys are really good.

00:21:46.000 So the more high maintenance a thing is, the higher value the life.

00:21:51.000 No, more enjoyable it is.

00:21:53.000 Okay, but that's not how you started this discussion.

00:21:55.000 You said, I don't want to let this guy down.

00:21:58.000 Now you're saying...

00:21:59.000 He could die.

00:22:00.000 Yeah.

00:22:01.000 It's more precious than a fruit fly, in my eyes.

00:22:03.000 Why?

00:22:05.000 It's bigger.

00:22:06.000 It does cooler stuff.

00:22:08.000 Okay.

00:22:09.000 Like an ant's life versus a dog's life, if you want to go really extreme.

00:22:13.000 This thing's closer to a dog.

00:22:16.000 Yeah, I understand, but you get into a logistical problem where the Buddhists, they just treat all animals the same. 1.00

00:22:23.000 I'm not a Buddhist.

00:22:24.000 Thank you.

00:22:25.000 I'm a Biblist.

00:22:28.000 When you abandon the Buddhist logic of a fruit flies the same as me, or any other animal, I don't know if they go right up to human, then you have to develop this whole hierarchy of like, where is an elephant?

00:22:43.000 Is it size related?

00:22:45.000 Well, pretty much what it boils down to is every animal is here under the dominion of the human being because we are the sacred creation of God.

00:22:54.000 And everything else is pretty much as weird, man.

00:22:57.000 You can do whatever to animals, but it's where your particular values lie and like where you respect.

00:23:03.000 Let's stop the philosophical discussion.

00:23:08.000 So are you scared you're not good enough?

00:23:10.000 Like, I don't think it's high maintenance.

00:23:12.000 I've done a lot of research, and I know people that have had tanks.

00:23:16.000 My friend's parents, I just visited them not too long ago.

00:23:18.000 And they've had the 14-year tank, and they've had ups and downs with it.

00:23:24.000 It's not easy.

00:23:25.000 And they don't have, I think it might be brackish.

00:23:27.000 Brackish Matty is saltwater and freshwater.

00:23:30.000 Yeah.

00:23:31.000 And that's easier.

00:23:32.000 Well, kind of, sort of.

00:23:34.000 Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:23:35.000 Because then you have to worry about the blend of the. 0.70

00:23:37.000 The only thing that's going to be in the tank is the mantis shrimp because you can't put anything else in there.

00:23:41.000 That's right.

00:23:42.000 Except when you feed it.

00:23:43.000 Yeah.

00:23:43.000 Where we've got to get this live food.

00:23:45.000 We've got to do some fucking pet stores. 1.00

00:23:48.000 That's easy. 0.99

00:23:50.000 That's what's holding you back?

00:23:51.000 I'm just scared of the whole process.

00:23:53.000 I've looked into saltwater fish for angel fish and things like that.

00:23:57.000 I would love to personally get way more in depth with my aquarium stuff because I love fish.

00:24:04.000 I've always had fish.

00:24:06.000 You have a problem where...

00:24:08.000 And it might be the fatherlessness where you can't close deals.

00:24:12.000 Like, it goes back to the couch.

00:24:14.000 I offered you an awesome couch. 0.99

00:24:15.000 You kept your shitty couch because you don't like making decisions. 0.99

00:24:18.000 That's why your room at the fag zone was four feet deep and closed because you can't throw out clothes. 1.00

00:24:26.000 You just got to get into life. 0.58

00:24:28.000 Buy that manta jumbo shrimp now on my credit card.

00:24:32.000 Okay?

00:24:33.000 Okay.

00:24:34.000 And while it's being shipped, we're going to get a saltwater tank.

00:24:38.000 You heard it here first, folks.

00:24:40.000 I know this has been an odd show because we've been arguing about peacock manta shrimp the entire time, but you're going to tune in later and you're going to see it.

00:24:50.000 Let me make one quick suggestion.

00:24:52.000 What?

00:24:52.000 Get the tank, set it up first.

00:24:54.000 No, no, no.

00:24:55.000 No, the shrimp's going to get overnighted.

00:24:57.000 No, it will not.

00:24:58.000 I think it will.

00:24:59.000 It will not.

00:25:00.000 Okay.

00:25:01.000 It's going to take like 10 days.

00:25:05.000 Guaranteed.

00:25:06.000 No, they overnight it so it doesn't die in the bag.

00:25:08.000 Right.

00:25:09.000 Pretty strong point.

00:25:11.000 Just saying.

00:25:12.000 Pretty strong point.

00:25:13.000 Get the tank, set it up first, and then.

00:25:16.000 If you're watching, sir, because I know he watches the show.

00:25:18.000 He's DM'd me.

00:25:20.000 Peacock mantis shrimps watch this show?

00:25:22.000 No, not the mantis shrimp itself.

00:25:24.000 The owner, I believe it's this guy.

00:25:28.000 What guy?

00:25:28.000 Nick SBF.

00:25:29.000 Yeah, I think this is the dude.

00:25:33.000 Nick SBF.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:34.000 Let's see if I could find him.

00:25:36.000 Call him.

00:25:36.000 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to try.

00:25:37.000 Has he ever contacted you?

00:25:38.000 Yeah, through DMs.

00:25:40.000 Okay, but that was my right now. 0.99

00:25:42.000 And then we can Venmo him money, and he can send us all this shit, like for the tank and everything. 0.97

00:25:47.000 Interesting. 0.96

00:25:48.000 And then we'll have that set up. 0.51

00:25:50.000 And then we'll have like his shot. 1.00

00:25:51.000 Like he has his own shit. 1.00

00:25:52.000 What do you do with salt water? 1.00

00:25:53.000 You get normal water and then you just add salt to it?

00:25:57.000 Well, not like quarantine salt.

00:25:59.000 Wait a minute.

00:26:00.000 We can get salt water 10 feet from here.

00:26:03.000 Aquarium salt, right?

00:26:05.000 They call it an instant ocean.

00:26:07.000 My saltwater tank after six months, now a year in, somebody. 0.96

00:26:10.000 Okay, nigga. 1.00

00:26:11.000 but like, there's saltwater. 0.83

00:26:13.000 Isn't the Hudson River saltwater?

00:26:16.000 Yeah, no, it's brackish.

00:26:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:18.000 Because it's a Hudson River that flows south.

00:26:22.000 It's freshwater, and it intersects with the Atlantic.

00:26:24.000 What if we went down to Staten Island?

00:26:27.000 That's brackish.

00:26:28.000 When does it turn into the ocean?

00:26:30.000 Like, right past the Verizon Bridge and stuff.

00:26:35.000 Staten Island's past the Verizon Bridge.

00:26:37.000 Yeah, it's right there.

00:26:39.000 Okay, so we go to Staten Island. 0.99

00:26:40.000 It's a fucking 40-minute drive. 0.98

00:26:42.000 Bring a bucket, and we got salt water. 0.99

00:26:45.000 True.

00:26:46.000 See? 1.00

00:26:47.000 We're doing shit. 0.99

00:26:51.000 I'm messaging people. 1.00

00:26:54.000 We're going to get shit rolling this episode. 1.00

00:26:57.000 I'm sick of waiting for a shrimp because we look like bullshitters. 0.99

00:27:00.000 Like, the whole point of this show is like, hey, this is happening. 0.98

00:27:04.000 We need to fight back.

00:27:06.000 We're living under tyranny. 1.00

00:27:07.000 These fucking mandates are nuts. 1.00

00:27:09.000 Come on, let's rise up. 1.00

00:27:11.000 You know, patriotism, liberty, venerate the housewife. 1.00

00:27:15.000 Glorify the entrepreneur.

00:27:16.000 Come on, never stop fighting.

00:27:18.000 And then I'm like, we're going to get a mantis shrimp.

00:27:20.000 And then... 0.99

00:27:20.000 And we're sitting here with no fucking shrimp. 0.99

00:27:22.000 Sitting here with no shrimps. 1.00

00:27:22.000 You're like, oh, well, what else is bullshit? 1.00

00:27:24.000 Now I get it. 1.00

00:27:26.000 Never stop fighting.

00:27:27.000 Never stop fighting unless it's saltwater and then give up.

00:27:30.000 That's a good point.

00:27:31.000 It's not a good message.

00:27:32.000 I didn't see it like that before, but no, I get it now.

00:27:34.000 Well, wait a minute.

00:27:35.000 I don't like that that's how you see it now.

00:27:38.000 Well, there's a symbolism there. 1.00

00:27:40.000 Because I'm also doing it for you because I want you to be able to just fucking do shit. 0.99

00:27:45.000 Just follow my dreams of it. 1.00

00:27:46.000 You know, I've always wanted a saltwater fish, so you're right.

00:27:50.000 Salt, brackish fish.

00:27:52.000 I'm going to look this guy up.

00:27:53.000 Like, I remember my dad wanted to knock down a supporting wall at his house, and he was like, oh, it's complicated and all that.

00:28:02.000 Because if we knock down this wall, we've got to have beams, an I-beam across, and then two beams going down right to the basement.

00:28:10.000 And then, well, they're just sitting in the basement.

00:28:13.000 And I go, no, they probably need a, we're going to dig in to the cement of the foundation.

00:28:19.000 And then the I-beams are going that, and then we'll use cement.

00:28:21.000 And he goes, so you think we're just meant to dig a hole in cement?

00:28:26.000 I go, yeah, let's do it.

00:28:27.000 I just grabbed a sledgehammer and went, wham!

00:28:30.000 And then we just started, wham, wham, wham.

00:28:33.000 And we dug a huge hole in the foundation.

00:28:36.000 Next thing you know, we get the, we didn't put in the I-beams, but the guys get in the I-beams, fill in the cement.

00:28:41.000 He can look out into his backyard.

00:28:43.000 Sporting wall is gone.

00:28:45.000 Beautiful.

00:28:47.000 He died in the collapse.

00:28:48.000 Oh my God, I'm sorry.

00:28:49.000 Yeah, two weeks later.

00:28:50.000 Jim McGinnis died?

00:28:51.000 Jimmy's done. 1.00

00:28:52.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:28:54.000 No, it's still going strong. 1.00

00:28:56.000 Oh.

00:28:57.000 That was a lie.

00:28:58.000 This is the lying episode.

00:29:00.000 I've told about 100 lies.

00:29:03.000 We should open the phone lines, and if people know about fish, I mean, shrimp.

00:29:07.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.

00:29:09.000 Oh, I want to do a super chat tonight to raise money for Max and John.

00:29:13.000 Dude, Max Hare called me from prison tonight. 0.99

00:29:16.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:29:17.000 And guess what he said? 1.00

00:29:18.000 From, I mean, outside of cancer and other serious illnesses, what is hell on earth?

00:29:25.000 It's prison.

00:29:26.000 Okay.

00:29:27.000 Right?

00:29:28.000 Like, I guess being trapped under a car is worse, but it's a rough place to be.

00:29:34.000 And he calls me.

00:29:35.000 I'm at my son's birthday party at Five Guys, which was in Palo Manor.

00:29:44.000 And just a little side note here. 0.99

00:29:46.000 That fucking area, it put me in such a bad mood. 0.99

00:29:50.000 I'm in a good mood now, but it started when I arrived at Dave and Buster's, and we're at a red light, and the person facing me in the red light just has their fucking brights on. 0.99

00:30:03.000 I don't know how many people in Palamanor, which is just north of the Bronx, can hear me right now. 0.85

00:30:09.000 I don't know how many of you are watching.

00:30:11.000 Your brights are for an old country road, a windy road late at night.

00:30:16.000 You're the only one for miles.

00:30:19.000 And in the forest, you're worried about a deer popping out.

00:30:23.000 Okay, put your brights on. 1.00

00:30:24.000 But the second you even smell a hint of someone coming in the opposite direction, you fucking, oh my God, it's like being seen taking a shit and nude in the street. 1.00

00:30:34.000 You whack off your, you whack off. 1.00

00:30:37.000 You slam off your brights and go, sorry, sorry.

00:30:41.000 It's a sin.

00:30:42.000 And even that millisecond that they got flashed, like, I'm so sorry.

00:30:46.000 Won't happen again.

00:30:47.000 This guy's just sitting there like, I don't know.

00:30:50.000 Maybe he's a Mexican and they don't know that. 1.00

00:30:53.000 Or maybe it was some stupid bitch on welfare. 1.00

00:30:56.000 It's just like, because when I flashed him, he turned them off. 1.00

00:31:00.000 So that means they're aware. 1.00

00:31:03.000 They didn't just go, fuck you. 1.00

00:31:04.000 So it's not a complete asshole. 1.00

00:31:06.000 It's just an idiot. 1.00

00:31:07.000 And that just set me off for the rest of the fucking night. 1.00

00:31:11.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:31:12.000 These people overindulging themselves and wearing pajamas and like everyone's waiting to get in and they're asking all these questions about the Dave and Buster's card. 1.00

00:31:21.000 You don't have a Dave and Buster's card.

00:31:23.000 This dude trying to get military, the military rate, I think because his dad was in the military. 1.00

00:31:29.000 No, dude, you have to be active service, you fuck. 1.00

00:31:32.000 Move it. 1.00

00:31:33.000 Let's go.

00:31:34.000 And by the way, why are you waiting here?

00:31:37.000 The machines have the cards.

00:31:39.000 Go to the machine, get the card, put in 20 bucks.

00:31:42.000 You can't figure that out yourself? 1.00

00:31:44.000 Or do you not even have a fucking credit card, you loser? 1.00

00:31:54.000 I don't see what's so funny about that at all. 1.00

00:31:56.000 Yeah, pretty good point there, Delaine.

00:31:59.000 So anyway, Max calls me from Five Guys.

00:32:02.000 He's like, hey, man, are you okay?

00:32:04.000 I'm eating the best fries on earth.

00:32:07.000 And I'd already had a burger, so I was having a delicious bacon cheese dog.

00:32:11.000 And I'm like, I'm doing pretty good here.

00:32:13.000 I'm literally at a party.

00:32:15.000 Why?

00:32:16.000 And he goes, oh, it just said on Fox in the, what's it called?

00:32:20.000 The mess hall?

00:32:22.000 What's the area you can watch TV in pretty much?

00:32:25.000 I just saw in the common area that you were arrested.

00:32:28.000 You're in trouble for JN6.

00:32:31.000 So I guess they've been doing more arrests for the meandering with Proud Boys.

00:32:36.000 And they also arrested oath keepers.

00:32:39.000 Yeah, like the head guy.

00:32:40.000 The head guy.

00:32:41.000 Seditious conspiracy or something like that.

00:32:43.000 Right, which, according to Max, is 20 years.

00:32:46.000 He goes, it's the kind of sentence you see in here for like burning down a residential building.

00:32:52.000 And I'm like, well, that would be pretty weird for me to go to jail for that, considering I have plenty of video evidence two weeks before saying, don't go, don't go.

00:33:04.000 Bad news.

00:33:06.000 What does seditious mean?

00:33:07.000 I'm not familiar with the word.

00:33:09.000 It means to overthrow the government.

00:33:11.000 Oh.

00:33:12.000 Yeah.

00:33:13.000 But as we said, we won't go back into the meandering, but as we said last week's episode, surely insurrection, being arrested for it, involves times and places.

00:33:23.000 And I was saying this to Max.

00:33:24.000 Be here at four.

00:33:26.000 We'll meet here.

00:33:27.000 We'll flank down the side.

00:33:28.000 Right. 1.00

00:33:29.000 Not just on Telegram going, fuck the government, fuck this election. 1.00

00:33:33.000 No. 1.00

00:33:34.000 And did you see all this shit with Ray Epps? 1.00

00:33:35.000 Now I'm going back into it. 0.99

00:33:37.000 Where they go, he's not with the FBI.

00:33:40.000 Sure.

00:33:42.000 And simply saying storm the Capitol isn't a crime.

00:33:47.000 That's free speech.

00:33:49.000 And you go, well, I agree with you, but you kind of opened a Pandora's box here because that's what you're basically throwing everyone in for.

00:33:58.000 And that's why you want Trump to never be able to run again.

00:34:02.000 Because according to you, he said storm the Capitol, which he obviously didn't.

00:34:07.000 He said peaceful protests, et cetera, et cetera.

00:34:10.000 Anyway, so I go, yeah, I'm doing okay, Max.

00:34:12.000 Thanks for calling me from prison to see if I'm having a bad day.

00:34:19.000 And that was that.

00:34:21.000 So that's why I want to have a fundraiser.

00:34:23.000 That's not why, but I want to have a fundraiser for them because I like this super chat stuff, but it feels weird for me, a financially sound human being, to be accepting $5 here and $2 there to say happy birthday, Veronica.

00:34:37.000 So if it's going to charity, I can live with it.

00:34:39.000 Paychats.

00:34:40.000 Paychats.

00:34:42.000 So what do we have to tell people?

00:34:43.000 Oh, is it already happening?

00:34:45.000 Yeah.

00:34:46.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:47.000 So these people have paid?

00:34:49.000 Yes.

00:34:49.000 I know I sound like a boomer.

00:34:51.000 Okay, and we'll tell everyone the total at the end.

00:34:54.000 And then to make sure I'm not ripping anyone off, you can contact...

00:34:57.000 I'll give it to Zanoa Kinsman.

00:34:59.000 She's been the one that's been handling John and Max's bank account.

00:35:02.000 You can talk to her.

00:35:03.000 You can contact them in prison.

00:35:05.000 They're easy to find.

00:35:06.000 You can say, is Gavin scamming anyone?

00:35:10.000 Yo, G-Dog, can you tell a quick story about being on Red Eye with Nick Mullen or your thoughts on Comtown?

00:35:16.000 Sherlock Shitty, can you do a sneaker pimp impression?

00:35:20.000 Well, we don't usually do two things, but this is a super chat.

00:35:25.000 I don't, yeah, Nick Mullen, I got a weird vibe from him.

00:35:29.000 It's sort of like Scott Greer, where I was like, you don't seem to like me very much, but we're the same dude.

00:35:36.000 Like we have the same interests and everything.

00:35:38.000 We should be totally vibing.

00:35:41.000 I don't know.

00:35:41.000 I'm a very aggressive human being, and I think a lot of people sort of go, calm down.

00:35:48.000 He admits that he's autistic.

00:35:50.000 And so that could be kind of an introvert, but very smart, very funny guy.

00:35:54.000 And good at impressions, too.

00:35:57.000 Donate a message to read on there.

00:35:58.000 So if you go to the live thing, you see we're live.

00:36:00.000 This is on censor.tv.

00:36:02.000 Censor.tv, right under.

00:36:03.000 You know what's crazy? 0.99

00:36:04.000 You want to hear fucking nuts? 1.00

00:36:06.000 PTSD? 1.00

00:36:07.000 I just said in my head, I was like, ooh, can we say that?

00:36:10.000 Whoa.

00:36:10.000 Or are they going to shut it down?

00:36:12.000 Wow.

00:36:13.000 Remember on Steve?

00:36:14.000 Dude, that would be funny if...

00:36:16.000 Hey, tech guy, if you're watching, we got to do that.

00:36:19.000 If you say censor.tv in the comments, it doesn't show up.

00:36:25.000 It's like, sorry, it seems like you've used a term that we don't agree with.

00:36:31.000 Yeah, we got to do that.

00:36:32.000 That's funny.

00:36:33.000 But it has to come up that you can't from now on, starting tonight.

00:36:36.000 Lots of big events tonight.

00:36:39.000 Starting tonight, we're getting a peacock manta shrimp, and you cannot say censored.tv on our site.

00:36:48.000 It's banned.

00:36:49.000 It's censored. 1.00

00:36:51.000 Motherfuckers. 1.00

00:36:52.000 So yeah, Nick Mullen, he was weird. 1.00

00:36:56.000 I could tell he was a funny dude.

00:36:57.000 I always want to bond with guys like that when we have stuff in common.

00:37:00.000 Scott Greer, same thing.

00:37:02.000 I was like, what's the matter?

00:37:04.000 That's the one I said, let's do a bump. 0.72

00:37:10.000 Name the shrimp Maddie Meat Missile. 0.97

00:37:13.000 Maddie's Meat Missile.

00:37:14.000 Maddie's Meat Missile.

00:37:15.000 I guess we have to do that.

00:37:16.000 There you go.

00:37:16.000 We have to ask his permission.

00:37:17.000 I don't want to.

00:37:19.000 Is that okay with you?

00:37:23.000 I don't think we have to ask him permission for that.

00:37:26.000 $50 for Max.

00:37:28.000 Oh, nice.

00:37:28.000 South Cal G. You know what John is doing now?

00:37:33.000 I sent him these books on how to do comic books after I heard he was doing this, but he's going to do autobiographical comics of prison.

00:37:41.000 Awesome. 0.99

00:37:43.000 Now, don't say shit like, there was this fucking bitch who thought he was the toughest guy in the prison, and I always laughed in his face. 1.00

00:37:50.000 Not that John is like a mouse over there, but you don't want to be like pissing anyone off in your comics because someone's going to see them. 1.00

00:37:57.000 Yeah.

00:37:58.000 You'll pass them around.

00:38:01.000 When he told me that, I got super excited. 0.99

00:38:02.000 Like, who the fuck doesn't, even if it's so mundane. 0.98

00:38:06.000 Like, Chester Brown is the king of the mundane autobiographical comics. 0.99

00:38:12.000 And I have, it's a tough sell to a lot of people, which contradicts exactly what I'm saying now. 0.93

00:38:17.000 But I fucking love it. 0.90

00:38:19.000 Like, he'll wake up, he'll go get a sandwich. 0.98

00:38:22.000 Even his art is really sort of meek with paintbrushes and stuff.

00:38:26.000 And you're just like, I'm in someone else's brain.

00:38:30.000 I'm going to get a sandwich in Toronto.

00:38:33.000 Are you digging up Chester Brown?

00:38:37.000 I'm doing a couple things right now.

00:38:38.000 Okay.

00:38:39.000 Chester Brown.

00:38:45.000 Yeah.

00:38:45.000 I don't need the guy.

00:38:47.000 Look how fucking ugly he is. 1.00

00:38:49.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

00:38:52.000 Just do Chester Brown comics. 1.00

00:38:57.000 He's an alarmingly unattractive man.

00:38:59.000 Oh, he's been doing the Bible recently.

00:39:02.000 Page by page.

00:39:03.000 But go back, see if you can find just him just petering around Toronto, getting a coffee.

00:39:12.000 Is him sitting on his couch?

00:39:14.000 No, that's Joe Matt drawing Chester Brown sitting on his couch.

00:39:20.000 Yeah, he's been doing more fiction recently.

00:39:23.000 Keep going down.

00:39:25.000 He did a big thing on Louis Riel, which was a fascinating book.

00:39:29.000 It should be taught in schools.

00:39:31.000 Anyway, maybe that's it.

00:39:33.000 No, that's weird stuff.

00:39:36.000 But wouldn't it be awesome just seeing a guy like going doing his average day in prison, drawing all the dudes there?

00:39:44.000 And he's getting good at drawing.

00:39:46.000 The only way he could fuck it up is if he doesn't adhere to the strict rules of cartooning with the nine panels per page or the 2468.

00:39:56.000 In this case, the consistent number.

00:39:58.000 There we go.

00:40:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:05.000 That's called love something, where he decides that love is a myth and I just want to, I'll fuck a prostitute and then I'll have female friends. 1.00

00:40:15.000 And love is a myth. 1.00

00:40:16.000 I don't need love.

00:40:17.000 Go back to that.

00:40:18.000 And it's all true.

00:40:20.000 That's the crucial part.

00:40:20.000 It has to be 100% true.

00:40:22.000 Don't change anything.

00:40:24.000 And you have to be really heartfelt too.

00:40:26.000 Like, oh, I was really scared. 0.99

00:40:27.000 Or I thought this guy was an idiot, but it was advantageous to be his friend. 1.00

00:40:31.000 That has to be in there too, in the thought bubbles. 0.99

00:40:34.000 But in this story, I forget the name of this series, but he goes, love doesn't exist.

00:40:40.000 You just need friends. 0.99

00:40:41.000 And then when you're horny, you get a prostitute. 1.00

00:40:43.000 And then he realizes, I'm just going to get a prostitute, but she can stay with me. 1.00

00:40:48.000 I keep getting the same one and spending the money. 0.98

00:40:51.000 Why doesn't she just stay here? 1.00

00:40:53.000 It's like living at a hotel.

00:40:54.000 Yeah.

00:40:55.000 So then she moves in with him. 1.00

00:40:57.000 And then he doesn't fuck other prostitutes. 1.00

00:40:58.000 And she doesn't have any other clients. 1.00

00:41:01.000 So they're married.

00:41:02.000 You're married, Chester.

00:41:03.000 Congratulations. 1.00

00:41:04.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:41:05.000 You beat the system. 1.00

00:41:07.000 I love when that happens.

00:41:09.000 And you got to spend money on your wife anyway, am I right?

00:41:12.000 You pay either way.

00:41:13.000 That's what we just said.

00:41:16.000 You left the punchline and went backwards into this.

00:41:19.000 Oh, look at PayChat.

00:41:22.000 From Greg.

00:41:23.000 Should we not say their names?

00:41:24.000 Do they want their names?

00:41:25.000 I don't know.

00:41:26.000 Well, that's their username, so it's public on the site.

00:41:29.000 I have two things I want to say.

00:41:30.000 One, shout out to Lotus and Seoul for being the only censored.tv creators that aren't hungry for BBC, which is Big Black Cock, I guess. 0.96

00:41:38.000 Yes.

00:41:39.000 Or the British Broadcasting.

00:41:41.000 I'm not hungry for...

00:41:42.000 I don't like Big Black Cocks or the British Broadcasting Service. 1.00

00:41:46.000 I'm hungry for Zero Cocks. 1.00

00:41:49.000 Even if I was hungry for Cox, I don't think I'd be hungry for Black Cocks. 1.00

00:41:53.000 Yeah.

00:41:54.000 Black Cocks down. 0.99

00:41:55.000 Two, 10 years of debauchery might deprive you of the love of your life.

00:41:59.000 There are exceptions to every rule.

00:42:02.000 Whoa.

00:42:03.000 That's a fortune cookie.

00:42:05.000 Yeah, that's the little riddle he sent us. 0.99

00:42:07.000 Damn, that's Daniel. 0.99

00:42:08.000 That's crazy. 0.99

00:42:10.000 I was talking to the bartender across from the studio at Anthony's studio, and she's Irish, and they've got an Irish pub there.

00:42:16.000 And she was quoting her brothers because they own a pub.

00:42:19.000 And the dad says, maybe we should just shut down.

00:42:23.000 I mean, it's getting strict here.

00:42:25.000 And I don't want us to lose our license. 0.98

00:42:28.000 And his son, who's really the owner, says, no fucking way. 0.97

00:42:33.000 Let the riddles run free and the feared can stay at home. 0.99

00:42:38.000 Let the riddles run free.

00:42:41.000 Isn't that awesome?

00:42:42.000 Nice.

00:42:43.000 I want to let the riddles run free.

00:42:45.000 Oh, we should go behind the paywall.

00:42:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:47.000 Oh, you're just going to clip it, right?

00:42:48.000 Yeah, let's just clip it.

00:42:49.000 Yeah, let's just clip it.

00:42:51.000 Sorry, guys.

00:42:52.000 You want to put your mics on so that we can take some camels?

00:42:55.000 Oh, so sorry.

00:42:56.000 Oh, so sorry about it.

00:43:00.000 What a weird piece of digital equipment.

00:43:02.000 You need to hold the on button for eight seconds.

00:43:06.000 It's flawed.

00:43:07.000 It should be a triple click or something.

00:43:09.000 Yeah, I've never come across that in the modern world.

00:43:13.000 Shtinks. 0.96

00:43:15.000 This chain is not really working in this particular neckline.

00:43:22.000 Yeah, so we'll see how much we raise for them tonight.

00:43:25.000 We got this.

00:43:26.000 $5 from Jason.

00:43:28.000 The Tim, which is the bald pool.

00:43:30.000 That's great.

00:43:32.000 Thank you.

00:43:32.000 Why aren't you making those rectangles?

00:43:37.000 You know, I could.

00:43:39.000 You have a strange sense of design.

00:43:41.000 It's my design.

00:43:42.000 Yeah, it's not a good look.

00:43:45.000 So, like, here's this, right?

00:43:46.000 You see more of you than if you were to go like this.

00:43:49.000 It's not aesthetically pleasing, Ryan.

00:43:51.000 It's hard to explain to you graphic design, but a broken shard of glass is not appealing to the eyes.

00:43:59.000 It should be a symmetrical rectangle.

00:44:03.000 Here we go.

00:44:06.000 Internationale Quebin.

00:44:09.000 And then just make it smaller.

00:44:12.000 Yeah.

00:44:15.000 And what about all this space up here?

00:44:18.000 Well, your head will get cut off if we keep it at like a readable.

00:44:23.000 You know what I mean? 0.64

00:44:23.000 And can't you crop it a little bit? 0.64

00:44:25.000 Some people's messages.

00:44:26.000 That's the thing I'm trying to avoid, because we have a lot.

00:44:30.000 Avoid resizing this all the time.

00:44:31.000 So some people's message will be a little longer, so it'll be like okay.

00:44:35.000 So it's a pin in my ease.

00:44:38.000 All right, so I guess go across the bottom.

00:44:40.000 Hey, Gav.

00:44:41.000 I'm live in Las Vegas.

00:44:42.000 How do I join a local Prow Boys chapter?

00:44:45.000 You know, the beauty of the Prow Boys is if you're tenacious enough to figure it out, then you can figure it out.

00:44:50.000 It's not the Boy Scouts.

00:44:52.000 I'm not going to sit here and go, well, you should call Mark Norrell.

00:44:56.000 And he's over at the strip every Thursday with his pamphlets.

00:44:59.000 Like, figure it out, dude. 1.00

00:45:02.000 Secondly, don't fuck around, Kebin, because when you fuck around, you get a B. See? 1.00

00:45:08.000 Why do people love that story so much?

00:45:10.000 It's a funny quote.

00:45:11.000 I've been threatened a million times, but everyone, that happened in 1999.

00:45:18.000 That happened 22 years ago, and people keep asking me about it.

00:45:23.000 Kevin.

00:45:25.000 He was short, too. 1.00

00:45:26.000 It's not like, don't think it was like Muta Baruka, this six foot tall Rasta man going, don't fuck around, Kabin. 0.97

00:45:34.000 I don't want to ruin the story for you, but he was not an intimidating guy. 0.97

00:45:38.000 He was a little weird.

00:45:38.000 He looked like the bad guy from Ghost.

00:45:41.000 But five feet tall.

00:45:43.000 And skinny.

00:45:43.000 And he didn't have dreads.

00:45:44.000 His head was just an afro.

00:45:47.000 So, I mean, I was scared that he was going to, like, attack me like a crazy cat and poke my eyes out or something, but it wasn't like, you know, wagwan kind of a thing. 0.97

00:45:59.000 We got somebody on the loin here.

00:46:01.000 It's Carlos, I believe.

00:46:06.000 I believe, Carlos.

00:46:08.000 Hello.

00:46:08.000 What's up, Carlos?

00:46:10.000 Hey, I am a couple episodes behind, so I don't know if...

00:46:14.000 Also, there's a crazy echo.

00:46:16.000 Just putting that out there.

00:46:17.000 Okay.

00:46:18.000 We don't want the echo.

00:46:19.000 If you're going to talk about the ABBO translator, we've covered it.

00:46:23.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:46:24.000 I'm a couple episodes behind, and I know back in the disease, you were talking about your water heater and why people would come pick it up.

00:46:31.000 Yes.

00:46:31.000 And I wanted to shed some light on that.

00:46:33.000 Okay.

00:46:34.000 First of all, stop talking about shedding light.

00:46:38.000 When I bring things up on this show, I'm not a retard.

00:46:41.000 So I've spoken to plumbers. 0.94

00:46:42.000 I've spoken to junk guys.

00:46:44.000 A lot of people in the field are also very perplexed about this.

00:46:48.000 So what you're going to offer now is a theory, but you're not teaching us about the water heaters, okay, young man?

00:46:57.000 No, shedding light, you're just putting some more light on it.

00:46:59.000 You're not like saying this is what it is.

00:47:01.000 You know what I mean?

00:47:02.000 Well, sure, okay.

00:47:04.000 Sure.

00:47:06.000 So my dad is a heavy equipment mechanic, and he works in junkyards and stuff.

00:47:11.000 And he says cat, like scrap metal is an all-cash business.

00:47:16.000 So the reason people go get the stuff is because they have like child support or like their wages are being garnished and they're probably on welfare.

00:47:25.000 So it's an all-cash business.

00:47:26.000 It doesn't count against their welfare and it doesn't get sent off to the baby mom or anything.

00:47:31.000 So they just, kind of like you were saying about beavers, like they're just kind of beavers that get everything and they're just collecting beer money for the day.

00:47:36.000 So they just drive around and as long as they have enough for beer money for the day, but outside of the cash thing, it's from the call to the water heater to wherever it's going.

00:47:50.000 And I know you don't do it.

00:47:51.000 You don't go sell it immediately, but the whole process from soup to nuts has got to be an hour, an hour, 20 minutes.

00:48:00.000 You're getting 20 bucks for these things.

00:48:04.000 I mean, 20 bucks an hour is all you need, really, if you're not trying to pay rent.

00:48:08.000 You're living on welfare.

00:48:10.000 And you're just trying to get enough money to buy your drinks or your whatever powders you want to put in your nose, whatever you want.

00:48:16.000 You know what I mean?

00:48:17.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:48:20.000 It seems like there's a lot better things you could do.

00:48:22.000 Construction's a cash business if you're doing it under the table.

00:48:26.000 You're going to do a lot better. 1.00

00:48:27.000 Like the fucking illegals at Home Depot, they all get 20 bucks an hour. 1.00

00:48:34.000 Go stand with the Mexicans at Home Depot. 1.00

00:48:38.000 I'm just saying, I don't know.

00:48:39.000 I'm not saying they're smart or if it's a good business decision.

00:48:42.000 I'm just saying the light you have shed is not even the flashlight on an iPhone.

00:48:50.000 It's just looking at a picture that's kind of bright and using that as a light.

00:48:55.000 So we are ahead, but not much.

00:48:58.000 Thanks for calling.

00:49:00.000 Thanks.

00:49:00.000 Love you.

00:49:01.000 Well, we didn't do the thanks for calling thing.

00:49:03.000 We certainly did not.

00:49:05.000 Miss Dewey.

00:49:06.000 What an odd show.

00:49:06.000 But that's what I like about this show.

00:49:08.000 You never know what you're going to get.

00:49:12.000 You are on air.

00:49:14.000 You're going to have a conversation. 1.00

00:49:15.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

00:49:17.000 You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00

00:49:20.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

00:49:22.000 You have one thing.

00:49:23.000 Thank you for calling.

00:49:24.000 It's great hearing from you.

00:49:26.000 Bye-bye.

00:49:26.000 All right, next call.

00:49:28.000 By the way, is it super chat?

00:49:31.000 Is that the term the kids are using?

00:49:32.000 Paychats.

00:49:33.000 The paychat.

00:49:34.000 So in the paychat, you...

00:49:37.000 Thank you, sir.

00:49:38.000 You don't need one thing.

00:49:40.000 Calls only get one thing.

00:49:43.000 But paychats get...

00:49:45.000 You can sneak in as much as you want.

00:49:47.000 Really?

00:49:48.000 No.

00:49:49.000 You can sneak in as much as you want. 0.99

00:49:51.000 If it's 50 bucks, you can have fucking 100 things. 0.99

00:49:54.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:49:54.000 But anything over $5 can be two things. 0.97

00:49:58.000 Joe lawyer, but can you call me Dave? 0.98

00:50:02.000 Where the fuck is Andrew WK? 0.99

00:50:04.000 Don't get me started on it. 1.00

00:50:06.000 He just married that super hot chick from two broke girls. 0.99

00:50:09.000 The blonde? 0.95

00:50:10.000 Or the chubby one? 0.95

00:50:11.000 No, the hotter one. 1.00

00:50:12.000 The Jew with the fucking tits from heaven. 1.00

00:50:15.000 Yeah, the chubby one. 1.00

00:50:16.000 Yeah.

00:50:18.000 What's her name again?

00:50:19.000 I forget.

00:50:20.000 Katie Girl.

00:50:21.000 He was already married, though.

00:50:22.000 He married his aerobics instructor or whatever.

00:50:24.000 No, he married a girl from the gym who was also an aerobics instructor.

00:50:27.000 They had a baby.

00:50:28.000 Kat Dennings. 0.99

00:50:29.000 And then I guess he married Kat Dennings, who she fucking photographs real well. 0.98

00:50:35.000 Now, you know, when she has no makeup on, blah, blah, blah, you're sort of like, you get buyer's remorse, but he's doing well. 0.98

00:50:43.000 The thing about Andrew W.K., people don't understand is he looks like this big hulking metal dude.

00:50:48.000 He's a nerd and like a pop culture nerd.

00:50:52.000 He used to work at Kim's Video on St. Mark's.

00:50:54.000 Do you remember Kim's video?

00:50:56.000 It was like three floors of VHS tapes and no Star Wars or You Got Mail. 0.99

00:51:02.000 It was all weird shit like Godzilla porn and fucking some guy who Bud Dwyer videos. 0.99

00:51:09.000 So that's who he is. 0.99

00:51:11.000 And then he started working out and getting fit.

00:51:13.000 So he doesn't look like what he is.

00:51:15.000 And by the way, I fucking love the guy. 0.97

00:51:17.000 Great guy, but you know, he's more like the pot awful dude on the inside. 0.97

00:51:23.000 Jesse, yeah.

00:51:24.000 Like he smokes weed all night.

00:51:25.000 Well, Jesse is sober.

00:51:27.000 He does never, he never smoked weed, never drank.

00:51:29.000 Yeah, I don't care, right?

00:51:30.000 I'm talking about the sort of pop culture nerd.

00:51:34.000 Copper Cab got married?

00:51:35.000 He sure did.

00:51:36.000 To his sister, I believe.

00:51:38.000 Yeah, see, we don't know anything with Copper Cab.

00:51:40.000 We don't know what's real or not.

00:51:41.000 Yeah!

00:51:44.000 Hey, ooh.

00:51:47.000 Yeah, he got married.

00:51:49.000 You know what I should do while we're doing all this is also get mail.

00:51:52.000 Let's have three different ways to talk to the people.

00:51:56.000 So Big Dick Johnson, hey Gavin, Let's get a Joker face. 0.99

00:52:01.000 Can you also rub your balls on Ryan's forehead? 0.99

00:52:03.000 That's yes to both. 1.00

00:52:06.000 Let's do.

00:52:06.000 Do you want to do the music for Joker face?

00:52:11.000 Yes.

00:52:12.000 Okay, that part I'll do.

00:52:33.000 Let's see your Joker face.

00:52:35.000 Oh, who me?

00:52:36.000 Yeah.

00:52:37.000 Okay. 0.96

00:53:04.000 I mean, it's one thing to catch a guy, catch a Korean, or whatever he is, and then to actually get your balls out at the same time. 0.99

00:53:15.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:53:15.000 You have to be over him. 0.97

00:53:18.000 I am over him.

00:53:19.000 We broke up years ago.

00:53:21.000 No, you're not.

00:53:22.000 You still yearn for me.

00:53:24.000 You're in love.

00:53:29.000 Oh, I had a Maddie question earlier.

00:53:33.000 Uh-oh.

00:53:34.000 I can still jump through the window.

00:53:37.000 It wouldn't be safe.

00:53:41.000 It'd be dangerous.

00:53:42.000 Here's a question for Maddie Odell.

00:53:44.000 It's me.

00:53:46.000 Oh, this is weird.

00:53:47.000 This has your address. 0.99

00:53:49.000 It calls you a bitch and says he's going to be there tonight waiting for you. 1.00

00:53:52.000 Nice. 1.00

00:53:52.000 I love those. 1.00

00:53:55.000 I'll be ready.

00:54:00.000 No, that was not true.

00:54:01.000 This is the lying episode, if you recall. 0.99

00:54:03.000 In Hunter S. Thompson's book on the Hell's Angels, he describes how the initiation requires being covered in the shit and piss of the other members and then having to wear those shit-stained clothes until they rot. 0.99

00:54:15.000 What? 1.00

00:54:16.000 No. 0.86

00:54:16.000 He also says that new members might be forced to give head to more senior members, not because they're gay, but as the ultimate gesture of loyalty. 0.86

00:54:27.000 I have always wondered how much of this is truth and how much is bullshit. 0.98

00:54:30.000 I wonder if Mandy has any thoughts on this. 0.92

00:54:31.000 And if he can't talk directly about certain organizations, what thoughts does he have about different initiation rituals and different ways that people can express their loyalty? 0.97

00:54:44.000 And then he includes pics of shit and piss covered bikers in this link. 0.97

00:54:50.000 And the subject is, Ryan, is letter for Maddie. 0.99

00:54:56.000 I do see Hell's Angels pissing on each other.

00:55:00.000 Sort of.

00:55:01.000 Okay.

00:55:04.000 Yeah, someone seems to be peed on.

00:55:10.000 And then someone seems to be covered in blood or something?

00:55:14.000 No. 0.99

00:55:15.000 If somebody tried to pee on me, it would be a big fucking problem. 0.98

00:55:21.000 See, that's old because if you look at their cuts, they're wearing the original Death Head, and those are Purdue members, which is the first charter. 0.99

00:55:33.000 Right, but Hunter Thompson's book was very old.

00:55:37.000 He's talking about Hunter Thompson's allegation.

00:55:39.000 Yeah.

00:55:41.000 If that's what they did back then, you know, I can't really speak about it because I wasn't there.

00:55:50.000 Like, that, I don't believe it's a Hell's Angel.

00:55:52.000 I don't see any flash on the front or anything like that. 0.99

00:55:56.000 You know, some guy's fucking a chicken. 1.00

00:55:59.000 Okay. 1.00

00:56:00.000 I mean, I can't see what that patch was, but the guy's going down on some girl. 1.00

00:56:07.000 That's a rough initiation.

00:56:08.000 Straight Satans?

00:56:09.000 Straight Satan's?

00:56:10.000 Yeah, there's a club out in California.

00:56:12.000 All right, you want to be in this club?

00:56:13.000 You have to eat out this chick. 1.00

00:56:15.000 Oh, man. 0.99

00:56:16.000 Can't you just cover me in pissing chicks? 1.00

00:56:17.000 It's different, but yeah, like somebody shitting on me or pissing on me, and I have to... 0.99

00:56:22.000 No, I wouldn't tolerate that. 0.95

00:56:24.000 So I guess the book came out in 67.

00:56:27.000 I guess he was doing all the research in 65 or so. 0.97

00:56:30.000 I mean, even back then, I mean, guys were about like, I'm a fucking alpha male. 1.00

00:56:38.000 Like, I'm not going to let someone piss and shit on me to be subservient. 0.99

00:56:44.000 Like, that's totally against the character of what the membership that you're looking for. 0.99

00:56:48.000 Yeah, yeah, good point.

00:56:50.000 Like, I would. 1.00

00:56:52.000 If you have a slave, you could shit and piss. 1.00

00:56:55.000 I might drink my own piss or throw shit at a wall, but the idea of lying down while someone defecates on you, you're like, this is not a good idea. 1.00

00:57:04.000 Maybe in the beginning, years of the, like, for a year, I mean, the club started in 48, you know, then there was San Francisco was the second charter, and then Oakland was the third, and they weren't affiliated. 0.99

00:57:15.000 They were just independent people that had a club that used the name Hell's Angels until they started running into each other, and they said, hey, we should kind of link up and be one.

00:57:25.000 And like, that's how it gets, like, so.

00:57:27.000 Oh, and they were all called Hell's Angels.

00:57:29.000 Right.

00:57:30.000 Right.

00:57:32.000 You know, Purdue was in 48.

00:57:35.000 Frisco was in sometimes in the 50s.

00:57:39.000 And then Oakland was in 57. 0.81

00:57:43.000 Those were the first three.

00:57:44.000 And then that started.

00:57:47.000 Once they started running into each other on the streets and riding by, you know, Oakland and Frisco were stone's throw apart.

00:57:52.000 You go over to Bay Bridge and you're right there.

00:57:54.000 I mean, Purdue is a trip down, you know, five, six hours down state.

00:58:01.000 Yeah, you think San Francisco and Oakland, I mean, it's the same place, really.

00:58:06.000 Pretty much, yeah.

00:58:06.000 You go over to Bay Bridge or the Golden Gate, you're right there.

00:58:09.000 I mean, you literally go on the opposite side of the water into the bay and you're there.

00:58:12.000 That's Oakland, this is Frisco.

00:58:14.000 And you got Daly City, San Jose, you know, in the surrounding Bay Area.

00:58:18.000 But San Francisco opened up a charter.

00:58:21.000 They said it was the Hells Angels, and Sonny Barger came home, and he started one in 57, Oakland Charter.

00:58:26.000 But Purdue was the original.

00:58:28.000 Otto Friedley started in March 15th or 17th, 1948.

00:58:33.000 And then, you know, into the 50s, you know, Frisco came around, I think, 53 or 54.

00:58:38.000 Then Oakland started in 57. 0.95

00:58:39.000 And like I said, when they started running into each other, and like you used to have what they call Oakland Frisco Wars, like we're the real Hell's Angels, you're the real Hells Angels.

00:58:48.000 they used to have all crazy rules of war with each other and stuff.

00:58:53.000 I wish not just the Hells Angels would emerge, but all biker clubs would merge. 1.00

00:58:58.000 If they did, if they all became one under one flag, and you know, it would probably never ever happen, but that would be the biggest fuck you to the government because they wouldn't know what to do. 0.84

00:59:05.000 I wouldn't know what to do.

00:59:07.000 But I can't speak about people back in the 50s and what their virtual.

00:59:12.000 I mean, guys used to kitch each other just for shock value, like for photographers and stuff like that.

00:59:17.000 I can't confirm or deny what they did back then for their initiation.

00:59:22.000 I used to do that.

00:59:23.000 We used to do that at parties just to make everyone uncomfortable. 0.99

00:59:25.000 If somebody tried to piss and shit out, it would be a big problem. 0.99

00:59:29.000 Dude, I was thinking, I was watching this video, Maddie, and I was like, you know, this guy's really playing a dangerous game. 0.99

00:59:35.000 It's Jack something TV in Britain, and this is what he does.

00:59:40.000 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

00:59:42.000 Chickle, wiggle, wiggle. 0.99

00:59:44.000 I'm taught, I'm taught, I'm taught, I'm taught, on taught, I'm not a tunnel.

00:59:47.000 Dude, I was like, you are playing a game with your life.

00:59:51.000 What? 1.00

00:59:52.000 Get your fucking hand on my aphus. 1.00

00:59:53.000 Okay, bye. 1.00

00:59:54.000 She's doing it to the black people of white people, which is the Irish. 1.00

01:00:00.000 Chickle, wiggle, wiggle. 0.99

01:00:03.000 I've seen a few of these, like, shock videos, like, people go out and try to do stuff and have had guns pulled on them.

01:00:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:08.000 And they're like, no, no, no, it's just a video chip.

01:00:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:00:10.000 I saw that.

01:00:11.000 There was the guy in the hood dressed as a clown scaring people.

01:00:15.000 And then he goes, it's just a joke. 1.00

01:00:17.000 They go, I don't give a fuck what a joke is, motherfucker. 1.00

01:00:20.000 Yeah, this is a joke, too. 1.00

01:00:21.000 Don't get fucking twisted. 0.99

01:00:23.000 This is great. 1.00

01:00:24.000 Wait.

01:00:24.000 Nickel wiggle.

01:00:25.000 What the hell are you doing and who are you? 0.99

01:00:28.000 He's just like a nerd. 1.00

01:00:30.000 This guy, though, he wants to fucking beat this shit. 1.00

01:00:32.000 No, I think he's in Britain. 1.00

01:00:33.000 Nickel wiggle.

01:00:35.000 Do you know who this mother is?

01:00:36.000 No, I don't.

01:00:38.000 That's a sure way to get hurt.

01:00:40.000 Dude, I was like nervous.

01:00:42.000 Every new one of these.

01:00:46.000 I could see if it was a hot chick. 1.00

01:00:48.000 He gets beat up in some of them.

01:00:50.000 Here, look.

01:00:50.000 Let's see.

01:00:51.000 God bless him. 0.96

01:00:52.000 We want him to get beat up. 0.65

01:00:53.000 Oh, wait. 0.98

01:00:54.000 He did it with a tranny?

01:00:56.000 I wonder what that thing's response was.

01:00:59.000 He'd like the attention, obviously.

01:01:04.000 Chickle wickle wickle. 0.91

01:01:06.000 Fancier, what's going on?

01:01:10.000 Hey, doesn't mind.

01:01:11.000 So this is annoying.

01:01:13.000 It's like this show is him getting beat up. 0.93

01:01:15.000 This bloke, he turned Muslim. 1.00

01:01:18.000 So fucking cut. 1.00

01:01:19.000 Because his girlfriend's. 1.00

01:01:20.000 Wait, the tickle wickle guy's Muslim now? 1.00

01:01:22.000 Yeah, he's a white dude who looks like an in-shape. 0.99

01:01:25.000 Who's the fat guy that we don't like? 0.98

01:01:27.000 Matt?

01:01:28.000 Matty?

01:01:28.000 O'Donnell?

01:01:28.000 No, no, no, no.

01:01:29.000 Santoro?

01:01:30.000 Matt Santoro or Needle Drop Podcast Guy?

01:01:34.000 Ew. 1.00

01:01:35.000 He married a fucking Schwarma queen. 1.00

01:01:39.000 I know her. 1.00

01:01:40.000 That's Norma.

01:01:42.000 I used to date her.

01:01:43.000 No.

01:01:44.000 Yeah, I wrote a song about her.

01:01:45.000 It goes, I wrap my baby in pita and cheese and I call her Norma the Schwarma.

01:01:50.000 She's not as tacky as a Greek souvlaki.

01:01:55.000 She's not as sweet as Don Air.

01:01:59.000 But she's my bear.

01:02:01.000 I forget.

01:02:02.000 You're forgetting it.

01:02:03.000 I forgot it.

01:02:04.000 We broke up a long time ago.

01:02:05.000 Oh, good. 0.50

01:02:05.000 Finally a black guy. 0.50

01:02:06.000 He's wearing a black coat with a hood on. 1.00

01:02:08.000 The fuck you're talking to, mate? 1.00

01:02:09.000 I'm talking about you at all, mate. 1.00

01:02:10.000 Fuck you, better not be. 1.00

01:02:12.000 Fucking spark you out. 1.00

01:02:13.000 I'm not talking about you at all, mate. 0.99

01:02:14.000 Yeah, yeah, it's definitely him.

01:02:19.000 Smoke is bad for your health.

01:02:21.000 It was just a joke. 1.00

01:02:22.000 That was my fucking last cigarette, alright? 0.99

01:02:25.000 That was fake. 0.99

01:02:27.000 Yeah, some of these are fake.

01:02:32.000 That's fake accent.

01:02:33.000 And a lot of them fake accent.

01:02:34.000 That's his English.

01:02:35.000 But some of the hits are real.

01:02:42.000 Here's how you know it's fake.

01:02:43.000 The girls always say the same thing. 0.99

01:02:45.000 Something, something, dickhead, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:02:48.000 Asian wife. 1.00

01:02:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.91

01:02:50.000 She's biased. 0.91

01:02:51.000 You say bruv and dickhead. 0.99

01:02:52.000 Yes, the one with the white t-shirt. 0.99

01:02:54.000 She stood right next to me now. 1.00

01:02:55.000 Like, who the fuck do you think you're talking to, bruv? 0.99

01:02:57.000 What? 1.00

01:02:58.000 What do you mean, what? 1.00

01:02:59.000 Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? 1.00

01:03:00.000 Anything fucking dickhead, bruv. 1.00

01:03:01.000 Calm down. 1.00

01:03:02.000 I'm not talking about you at all.

01:03:03.000 Calm down. 1.00

01:03:03.000 Cat shit gets banged up. 1.00

01:03:06.000 It's such a perfectly, like, delivered slap. 1.00

01:03:12.000 That was a waste of time.

01:03:16.000 Let's take a call.

01:03:17.000 All righty.

01:03:21.000 Here we go.

01:03:22.000 Eric.

01:03:23.000 Eric.

01:03:24.000 Hey. 0.98

01:03:25.000 Oh, shit, that's me. 0.99

01:03:26.000 It's you, Mike. 0.99

01:03:28.000 Hey, question for Maddie.

01:03:30.000 What's up?

01:03:32.000 What was your favorite prison in New York State and which other ones were you went to?

01:03:36.000 I did most of my time in downstate.

01:03:39.000 You know, downstate?

01:03:40.000 Maximum security at Fish Kill.

01:03:44.000 What did you just ask after that caller?

01:03:47.000 Yeah, Ryan, I can't hear the monitor.

01:03:49.000 Yeah, you know, Governor Hokul's closing downstate.

01:03:51.000 Governor?

01:03:53.000 No, Governor Hobako is closing downstate.

01:03:57.000 I'll aim this.

01:03:58.000 Oh, yeah, they're closing it.

01:03:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:04:00.000 I saw the, well, they have Ulster, which was a reception, and downstate is a reception, but you also have what they call a cadre.

01:04:09.000 Yeah, so you're at downstate for cadre or as reception?

01:04:13.000 Cadre.

01:04:14.000 Oh, you had a cake bid then.

01:04:16.000 That's great.

01:04:17.000 Were you incarcerated some?

01:04:20.000 In the federal system, I was in, I went from local holding cells in Virginia.

01:04:25.000 I was in Alexandria City.

01:04:26.000 Then I was in CVRJ, Central Virginia Regional Jail.

01:04:31.000 I went from there.

01:04:31.000 I went to the airlift in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

01:04:34.000 I went from there to Lewisburg.

01:04:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:04:40.000 So we're all in doctor yet?

01:04:42.000 That's it.

01:04:44.000 I didn't do much time in the state.

01:04:45.000 I did most of my time in Feds.

01:04:47.000 Oh, okay.

01:04:48.000 Yeah.

01:04:49.000 That's all.

01:04:50.000 Thanks.

01:04:51.000 I'm sorry.

01:04:52.000 Gavin, what was your favorite bullpen?

01:04:54.000 You only get one thing, I'm afraid.

01:04:56.000 You're a caller.

01:04:59.000 Can you Do that Asian face, or does that take a long time to set up?

01:05:04.000 I have an Asian face.

01:05:07.000 Does that count?

01:05:08.000 Didn't take your dad long to set up. 0.99

01:05:09.000 He just fucking banged a hairdresser and walked away. 1.00

01:05:12.000 How dare you? 1.00

01:05:14.000 You're not focused again.

01:05:16.000 Okay, so number one, Rue. 0.90

01:05:18.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:05:19.000 A, your tchotchkis are in focus, not you. 0.96

01:05:23.000 Okay.

01:05:24.000 B, can you get that guy, the Asian guy, the Snapchat guy?

01:05:32.000 Oh, okay.

01:05:35.000 Yeah.

01:05:36.000 So, sir, we're going to get you your sneaker pimp. 1.00

01:05:38.000 Yeah, you're going to really see me on my bullshit. 0.99

01:05:41.000 Okay, I think this show is taking shape now. 0.99

01:05:44.000 Thursdays is just going to be calls, super chats, letters.

01:05:50.000 It's a town hall, a meeting with the public.

01:05:53.000 And I guess I don't have to read these if they're appearing on the screen, right?

01:05:57.000 You need to invest, move to Surf City, North Carolina.

01:05:59.000 You'll thank me later.

01:06:01.000 Hold strong, John and Max.

01:06:04.000 Cool.

01:06:04.000 That's true.

01:06:06.000 Do you know anything about Surf City?

01:06:07.000 Surf City, North Carolina?

01:06:10.000 Surf City?

01:06:12.000 Was that like near the Outer Banks?

01:06:14.000 I'm not a beach guy.

01:06:15.000 Everyone's like, oh man, you got to come to Florida right near the beach.

01:06:18.000 I'm going to Florida.

01:06:19.000 Florida.

01:06:20.000 Get the beach.

01:06:21.000 Dude, I was supposed to go this weekend.

01:06:23.000 I'm going Sunday morning.

01:06:24.000 Why? 0.97

01:06:25.000 Just to get the fuck out of here for the snowstorm. 1.00

01:06:28.000 You fucker. 1.00

01:06:29.000 I'll be back Thursday. 1.00

01:06:30.000 Where are you going to be?

01:06:31.000 Miami Beach.

01:06:33.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:06:34.000 I'm so retarded. 0.94

01:06:35.000 I was like, I was going to go to Florida this weekend. 0.95

01:06:37.000 We could have hung out.

01:06:38.000 Yeah, I'll be in Orlando.

01:06:40.000 You'll be in Miami Beach.

01:06:42.000 We'll meet in the middle.

01:06:43.000 I might, you know, I've rent a car and something like that, so I might just jump in a car and go see my buddy up in Tampa.

01:06:49.000 It's about four hours from Miami Beach.

01:06:53.000 North?

01:06:54.000 It's northwest.

01:06:55.000 It's on the Gulf Coast.

01:06:56.000 But if you're there, let me know.

01:06:57.000 I'll swing by.

01:06:58.000 Is that near Orlando?

01:07:01.000 I don't know Florida at all.

01:07:02.000 It's about an hour and a half from Orlando.

01:07:05.000 Okay.

01:07:08.000 My son's there today.

01:07:09.000 He left today.

01:07:11.000 Oh, really?

01:07:12.000 South Daytona.

01:07:13.000 Well, he's got a place down there.

01:07:14.000 And is that who you're going to hang out?

01:07:15.000 Are you going to hang out with him down there?

01:07:16.000 No, no, no.

01:07:17.000 I'm going to Miami Beach.

01:07:18.000 South Philippe.

01:07:20.000 I won't pry.

01:07:21.000 South Beach.

01:07:22.000 Okay, ladies and gentlemen, time for what's it called?

01:07:26.000 Oh, like a sneaker pee.

01:07:27.000 Okay.

01:07:28.000 Actually, smash and subscribe.

01:07:30.000 How about that?

01:07:31.000 Okay.

01:07:32.000 So today, we're going to look at different types of sneaker, okay?

01:07:36.000 First of all, if you want to be super hot, obviously put on easy, put on something like a really, like a mountain boost.

01:07:42.000 But if you're going to do something like go gym or something, get straight, get real big, you're going to have to smash the weight and you have to wear something flat on your feet.

01:07:51.000 Otherwise, you're going to have back problem.

01:07:55.000 So have to, you know, stay hot fire.

01:07:59.000 Also responsible.

01:08:01.000 Back together.

01:08:03.000 Did you ever say smash the subscribe?

01:08:05.000 Smash the subscribe.

01:08:06.000 Yeah.

01:08:06.000 Those eyebrows were like Nancy Pelosi's.

01:08:09.000 Fucking. 0.99

01:08:11.000 Boy, that Tucker Carlson joke about Michael Jackson is still alive. 1.00

01:08:14.000 That fucking went viral. 0.99

01:08:17.000 You know what we're talking about, Ryan? 1.00

01:08:18.000 Oh, yeah, I do.

01:08:20.000 I could pull that up.

01:08:20.000 Matt, did you want me to show that?

01:08:22.000 Yeah, you could show that.

01:08:22.000 Yeah.

01:08:25.000 Like, you can show the whole thing.

01:08:27.000 Yeah, that last caller had a slight stolen valor vibe.

01:08:31.000 Like, so, Matty, you're incarcerated, right?

01:08:33.000 What was your favorite prison?

01:08:35.000 Community supervision, downstate correctional facility, release identification.

01:08:40.000 There's Mr. Rodell on there in my greens.

01:08:43.000 As a civilian, when I look at that ID and I see that picture, I'm like, yeah, that guy deserves to be.

01:08:48.000 Well, it's got a little hologram there. 0.99

01:08:50.000 Well, like, a couple weeks ago, the guy was like, yo, in your release in the New York State criminal investigation newsletter, you look terrifying in that fucking picture. 0.99

01:09:00.000 I'm like, it's just a fucking picture. 0.99

01:09:01.000 No, he's right. 0.99

01:09:03.000 And that person looks like they belong in there, doesn't he?

01:09:06.000 Well, I was impressed.

01:09:08.000 Like, as a taxpayer, I'm not like, free him.

01:09:11.000 He was Kardashian on my side.

01:09:16.000 What's tap?

01:09:18.000 You could tap it for some different effects.

01:09:22.000 You could put shades on the dude. 1.00

01:09:25.000 My name's Rick James, bitch. 1.00

01:09:26.000 I'm a real cool cat. 0.98

01:09:29.000 I don't know what that guy is, but.

01:09:30.000 Fine.

01:09:31.000 You got to talk about a fine, foxy mama. 1.00

01:09:33.000 You're an informant. 0.99

01:09:34.000 I've seen some real fucky thing. 0.99

01:09:36.000 Yeah, you're a CIA. 0.98

01:09:38.000 He's like, nah, nah, man.

01:09:40.000 You got to get away from me.

01:09:41.000 I got too much heat.

01:09:42.000 And he's like, look, we're taking you in right now unless you tell us what happened with Fuzzy Bear.

01:09:48.000 They ask him about purpose, but he keeps coming back to like fine ladies talking.

01:09:52.000 Well, I was hanging out with him, right?

01:09:53.000 He was dumping some info on me.

01:09:55.000 Then that was a zipper delivery coming in.

01:09:57.000 So I said, ooh, what are you doing with that?

01:09:59.000 And then this fox, I mean, she was a seven out of nine, came around and I said, hello, hello, knock, knock. 0.52

01:10:08.000 I don't think a CI would be that.

01:10:10.000 They're supposed to be reluctant to give the cops information.

01:10:13.000 Yeah.

01:10:14.000 He's not like, all right, the cops are here.

01:10:16.000 All right, here's what's going down at the port on Thursday night.

01:10:19.000 It's going to be crazy.

01:10:20.000 I'm a ladies' man.

01:10:22.000 Dear Gavin, Rygai, Maddie, I saw you talk about bare knuckle boxing yesterday on Compound Censored.

01:10:26.000 A fun fact I figured you'd find interesting, if you didn't already know, is that when boxing switched from bare knuckle to gloves, deaths from boxing increased roughly 100 times.

01:10:38.000 I'm not surprised.

01:10:40.000 People hit harder when they have gloves on.

01:10:41.000 Right.

01:10:43.000 Because, you know, it's basic physics.

01:10:46.000 So every action is equal and opposite reactions. 0.99

01:10:49.000 So as hard as you're hitting someone's skull or face, it's the same pressure and force that's hitting your fucking hand. 0.95

01:10:57.000 Well, that is probably why MMA people tend to be more mentally sound over years, although MMA is relatively new. 0.97

01:11:04.000 I don't think you're going to get as many Muhammad Ali's from MMA.

01:11:07.000 Well, they use a significantly smaller glove.

01:11:11.000 They use a four-ounce glove.

01:11:12.000 I mean, pros in boxing use eight-ounce gloves.

01:11:15.000 Right.

01:11:15.000 Like, practice and stuff like that, they're 16-ounce gloves.

01:11:18.000 But, you know, when you have padding on your hands and your hands are wrapped, you hit, you swing a lot and you intend to hit a lot harder Because you feel that you have the protection of saving.

01:11:33.000 Like, people still break their hands and the gloves, even in boxing.

01:11:36.000 But when you're bare knuckle fighting, like I've broke my hands and knuckles a gazillion times.

01:11:43.000 Same thing with helmets, too.

01:11:45.000 I remember this being.

01:11:45.000 Yeah, we saw your link.

01:11:47.000 But plus, this isn't your first rodeo.

01:11:50.000 So when you're bare knuckle boxing, these bones have been broken, I assume, like dozens of times.

01:11:55.000 Remember, Conor McGregor, when he broke his ankle, it's not like there was any kind of impact.

01:12:02.000 It was just it was a jigsaw puzzle of fractures.

01:12:05.000 So he had fractured it in training up to the fight.

01:12:11.000 And then, you know, when he stepped back and put weight on it, because obviously you're planting your feet to create power and force to hit somebody, it just snapped.

01:12:21.000 Like, you know, you're training, you're going hard in training.

01:12:26.000 So you're...

01:12:27.000 Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

01:12:28.000 He had a million little tiny fractures.

01:12:30.000 Right.

01:12:31.000 Gavin, are you still friends with Faith Goldie?

01:12:34.000 She's 8.1.

01:12:37.000 She got married.

01:12:37.000 She has a kid.

01:12:39.000 And yeah, I'm still friends with her.

01:12:41.000 She's a wonderful human being. 1.00

01:12:42.000 But you got to understand, Toronto is fucking pariah central when it comes to all this right-wing shit. 1.00

01:12:48.000 Like, my brother was with her at a bar in Toronto. 1.00

01:12:52.000 And one person recognized her and said, oh, my God, there's a racist here. 1.00

01:12:58.000 That there's a racist.

01:13:00.000 And he started going over to the bartender.

01:13:02.000 They were all immediately kicked out, by the way.

01:13:04.000 No questions asked.

01:13:05.000 But the craziest part of this was some woman who didn't recognize faith heard that there's a racist in the bar. 1.00

01:13:14.000 She collapsed.

01:13:15.000 This sounds like a lie. 0.99

01:13:17.000 But until you've hung out with like liberal Torontonians and Westchesterians, you don't understand their level of fucking insane paranoia. 0.99

01:13:28.000 She goes, what? 0.98

01:13:29.000 Where?

01:13:30.000 What?

01:13:30.000 No.

01:13:31.000 She collapses on the ground and starts convulsing, not because there's a racist there per se, but because someone said there was.

01:13:41.000 This isn't faith.

01:13:42.000 This is, you understand what I'm saying?

01:13:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:13:44.000 A random stranger.

01:13:45.000 Like, have you seen that viral video?

01:13:46.000 It had a rebirth recently where someone's filming this woman and she's like, she's filming me.

01:13:51.000 And she's on the ground. 0.99

01:13:53.000 And the woman's like, just get the fuck away from me. 1.00

01:13:55.000 Like, stop filming me. 0.99

01:13:56.000 And she keeps falling.

01:13:58.000 And that was what this woman was doing because faith was there.

01:14:03.000 Sounds like Chrissy. 0.90

01:14:05.000 Yeah.

01:14:07.000 The reason is you aren't wearing gloves.

01:14:08.000 You can easily hear her break your hand.

01:14:10.000 Oh, we already solved that.

01:14:12.000 Bare knuckle boxers had to focus more on punches to the body.

01:14:15.000 Oh, God.

01:14:16.000 Body shots are underrated.

01:14:19.000 But once gloves were introduced, the quantity and intensity of punches.

01:14:22.000 Yeah, that's why I don't wear a seatbelt. 0.99

01:14:24.000 People think I'm fucking nuts. 0.96

01:14:26.000 When seatbelts came out, accidents went down, but fatal accidents actually went up because people felt invincible. 0.99

01:14:35.000 What is this?

01:14:38.000 Pasta, us, again, process, about.

01:14:42.000 Oh, I see what they're doing.

01:14:43.000 Puabu?

01:14:44.000 They're testing.

01:14:45.000 No, they're testing your Canadian-ness.

01:14:47.000 Oh, okay.

01:14:48.000 Pasta, us.

01:14:49.000 Pasta, us, again, process, about.

01:14:53.000 I think I've pretty much lost my Canadian accent.

01:14:56.000 No, that's very...

01:14:57.000 It's pasta.

01:14:57.000 I know us is bad.

01:14:58.000 I consciously say us.

01:14:59.000 You should also add buried there.

01:15:02.000 But I consciously say buried, just because I, not because I don't want to be known as Canadian, but when you say buried, people go, what?

01:15:09.000 And then it slows down whatever you're talking about.

01:15:11.000 So I say buried.

01:15:12.000 I think my about is pretty normal.

01:15:14.000 Yeah, but the process.

01:15:16.000 You say process.

01:15:17.000 Process.

01:15:18.000 I don't feel...

01:15:19.000 Okay, I'll try to say process.

01:15:21.000 No, don't change.

01:15:22.000 Again.

01:15:22.000 What do you say?

01:15:23.000 Again?

01:15:24.000 Again.

01:15:25.000 Again.

01:15:25.000 Oh, we say again, I guess?

01:15:27.000 Yeah.

01:15:27.000 Uz took, it was a long time.

01:15:29.000 It took me to stop saying us.

01:15:31.000 And my kids go nuts when I say pasta.

01:15:33.000 Dr. Zeus, you'll say us.

01:15:34.000 But pasta has two A's.

01:15:36.000 Same with NASA. 0.99

01:15:37.000 I used to get in shit for NASA. 0.99

01:15:39.000 They're like, NASA? 0.99

01:15:40.000 Yeah, it's two A's.

01:15:42.000 You guys are all NASA.

01:15:45.000 And they also make fun of me when I say Mario.

01:15:48.000 It's an A. Mario.

01:15:51.000 Dr. Zeus is my favorite.

01:15:53.000 What do you guys say?

01:15:54.000 It's a continent and not a vowel.

01:15:56.000 It's usually like the not predominant A would be ah.

01:16:03.000 That's true.

01:16:05.000 Oh, wait.

01:16:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:16:06.000 So 50 bucks here for this gentleman.

01:16:08.000 Sending this volume down because I missed out on the doodles for charity.

01:16:10.000 Fatherless Son is pretty trippy, man.

01:16:12.000 Much love, Gav, Maddie, and Ryan.

01:16:14.000 Please keep crushing.

01:16:17.000 Fatherless Son is pretty trippy.

01:16:18.000 What's he talking about?

01:16:19.000 I don't know.

01:16:19.000 Did we say that it should be a band name?

01:16:21.000 Oh, this is a good question.

01:16:22.000 What is the minimum age to watch the show?

01:16:24.000 Oh, that's a good question. 1.00

01:16:26.000 Were you talking about pussy a lot and fucking teammate? 1.00

01:16:31.000 13? 1.00

01:16:32.000 Yeah.

01:16:33.000 But, like, hide it.

01:16:35.000 PG-13?

01:16:36.000 That's about right.

01:16:37.000 Like, I was thinking about the city.

01:16:38.000 I mean, I'm Scottish, though.

01:16:39.000 Like, I think a 13-year-old should drink.

01:16:41.000 A 13-year-old boy should drink a beer.

01:16:43.000 13-year-old boy. 0.93

01:16:45.000 Porn is a lot for a 13-year-old.

01:16:47.000 They shouldn't watch porn. 0.99

01:16:48.000 We don't show porn on the show, but we talk about tits and constant stuff. 1.00

01:16:53.000 I think 13 is a very mature 13-year-old. 0.89

01:16:56.000 But the whole sexual attitude in Scotland and stuff like that, it's kind of just like it is what it is.

01:17:05.000 The page three girl and the son and stuff like that. 0.86

01:17:08.000 On every page three.

01:17:09.000 Yeah, your dad has the paper, the sun, and he leaves it open. 0.99

01:17:12.000 There's a woman with her tits out. 1.00

01:17:14.000 And you see that when you're one. 1.00

01:17:15.000 Yeah, the son.

01:17:16.000 And for years, he had like BBC One, BBC Two, what was it, Channel 3 or whatever.

01:17:23.000 And there was no.

01:17:23.000 It's unaffordable.

01:17:24.000 So there was nudity and cursing and everything just on regular television.

01:17:28.000 Yeah.

01:17:29.000 Like there was no...

01:17:31.000 Like, I can remember one time my mother was doing a joke and stuff like that.

01:17:35.000 And it was mostly American couples and stuff like that. 0.98

01:17:40.000 And she had to, like, she wanted to grab someone's crotch. 1.00

01:17:45.000 And in Scotland, that wouldn't have been like a big... 0.96

01:17:49.000 Like, you could have went up to any man in the room, no matter whose husband it was, whatever.

01:17:52.000 And like, okay, this is it.

01:17:54.000 And you grabbed his cry and it would have been like.

01:17:55.000 And it was like the punchline to the joke.

01:17:57.000 And then he came along and said, here's your nods.

01:18:00.000 But over there, like, my mother was like, she didn't know who's crotching. 1.00

01:18:05.000 It was fucking hilarious. 0.87

01:18:07.000 Because I seen her struggling with it. 0.96

01:18:08.000 I was like, oh, God, it's not going to translate well at all.

01:18:13.000 They tried to ruin Trump for wanting to do that.

01:18:16.000 Oh, yeah. 0.94

01:18:16.000 If you remember, the tenants' laggard cans would have naked women on them. 0.94

01:18:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:21.000 Like, not naked with their cunts, but they'd be like, their shirts would be undone. 0.99

01:18:25.000 Their tits would be hanging out. 1.00

01:18:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:27.000 It's just a totally different.

01:18:30.000 They're just funnier, really.

01:18:32.000 Yeah.

01:18:33.000 I remember I was at the pub in Lead Hills, and there was when you would buy a pint, they had a little guy that you could put money in, like in his head for the poor.

01:18:43.000 He was like, give a pound coin to Scotland's poor children.

01:18:46.000 And it was a little boy who had like a cane and he was like, thanks.

01:18:50.000 Made of plastic, you know what I mean?

01:18:51.000 Like a piggy bank.

01:18:52.000 And someone had made a Hitler mustache on him and then with a marker made a whole Nazi uniform with a swastika and everything.

01:19:01.000 So you're putting money into Hitler's head every time you want to donate. 0.97

01:19:05.000 I remember we used to have this fucking one thing, kind of like that. 1.00

01:19:08.000 I don't know why the fuck you would put money in it and the fucking kid would, he was holding his dick. 1.00

01:19:14.000 Oh yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:19:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:19:18.000 It's like, what?

01:19:19.000 So romantic for pedophiles.

01:19:20.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:22.000 I remember when we had a milk content back in the day, right?

01:19:26.000 But my family, we weren't too well off.

01:19:28.000 So the milkman would come like every other like three weeks.

01:19:31.000 And there was like a missing kid on there.

01:19:33.000 We said, oh my God, like, where'd that missing kid go, right?

01:19:36.000 And we're walking around town.

01:19:37.000 We see a guy, and it's him.

01:19:39.000 But he's like 30 years old.

01:19:41.000 We had this milk sitting around for a long time.

01:19:45.000 Could use your ice cream soup for milk?

01:19:48.000 Yeah, we could use ice cream soup.

01:19:50.000 Hey, Jesse, did you ever have city water?

01:19:52.000 Oh, yeah, city water.

01:19:54.000 But here's the thing, we didn't have sugar.

01:19:56.000 So we would take like little scrumptious berries from growing on the trees for us, right?

01:20:01.000 You build a tree for it out of cardboard.

01:20:03.000 And then so when you go up the ladder, it's just a ladder.

01:20:06.000 And you see little berries there.

01:20:08.000 You squish the berries, put it in the water.

01:20:10.000 What is city water, though?

01:20:11.000 A city water is usually like you take domino sugar and water and you just mix it up.

01:20:16.000 But if you can't afford it, you can go to Dunkin' Donuts and you can get little packets.

01:20:21.000 But we didn't have that neither.

01:20:24.000 So you were pretty poor?

01:20:26.000 Well, we were resourceful.

01:20:27.000 Lots of fluoride.

01:20:29.000 Lots of fluoride.

01:20:30.000 That's why my teas look so amazing.

01:20:35.000 Lots of fluoride in the water over there in the city.

01:20:37.000 That's right.

01:20:38.000 Oh, this guy's paying $100 for this.

01:20:40.000 Whoa.

01:20:41.000 High roller.

01:20:43.000 A cool guy and Gavin thought this would be interesting.

01:20:46.000 A Canadian journalist named John Ibbotson.

01:20:49.000 I knew a gay dude named David Ibbotson at the Earl of March High School where I went to high school. 0.95

01:20:53.000 And he was clearly gay. 0.88

01:20:55.000 All his friends were girls. 1.00

01:20:56.000 No one gave a shit. 0.99

01:20:57.000 We didn't know what gay was really when you were a teenager back then. 0.99

01:21:00.000 But you're like, that guy seems fruity.

01:21:02.000 It's not like you think of him going like, oh, but you're like, he's not normal like us.

01:21:09.000 But it was like being an albino or having Down syndrome or, you know, being Muslim or something.

01:21:14.000 You're just like, you're different.

01:21:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:16.000 And no one fucking cared. 0.99

01:21:17.000 It wasn't like we're going to beat him up. 1.00

01:21:21.000 And then he killed himself.

01:21:24.000 Yeah. 0.91

01:21:25.000 It's the easy way out.

01:21:28.000 Anyway, John Ibbotson believes that Canada may have to step in militarily to prevent the U.S. from falling off a cliff and into the abyss.

01:21:35.000 Here's a link to some commentary on it because I'm too cheap to pay for the subscription to the original article found here. 0.99

01:21:43.000 Canada's going to come save America's ass? 0.99

01:21:46.000 No. 1.00

01:21:46.000 Like Canada doesn't have its own problems? 1.00

01:21:49.000 Is Canada kicking ass with Justin Trudeau saying that if you're against the vaccine, you're racist and sexist? 0.99

01:21:56.000 This is the prime minister of the country saying that. 1.00

01:22:00.000 Damn. 1.00

01:22:01.000 That president reveals hurling toward possible violence? 1.00

01:22:04.000 No, no.

01:22:04.000 Oh, wait.

01:22:05.000 He's saying if Trump or DeSantis wins, we're going to have to go in and save the day?

01:22:09.000 Wow.

01:22:11.000 Okay.

01:22:12.000 Yeah, all right. 1.00

01:22:14.000 Save us from fucking Trump. 1.00

01:22:16.000 Gonna have to throw balls across the border. 1.00

01:22:18.000 Maddie is the greatest thing to happen to the show recently. 1.00

01:22:21.000 Hot shit. 1.00

01:22:22.000 Hot shit. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Hot shit. 1.00

01:22:26.000 It's my birthday. 1.00

01:22:27.000 I hope Gary isn't dead.

01:22:29.000 True.

01:22:30.000 We all hope.

01:22:30.000 We all pray.

01:22:33.000 This guy, 25 minutes.

01:22:34.000 Darkarius. 0.64

01:22:35.000 Hey, Gav, I'm a few years younger than you, but I'm trying to follow your example in regards to growing older. 0.85

01:22:39.000 So how do I shit my pants gracefully in public? 0.93

01:22:44.000 You have a top hat on and a monocle, and you go, top of the morning to you, gentlemen. 0.99

01:22:48.000 Do the rest of the day to yourself.

01:22:51.000 I am working a double tomorrow, so I'd like to try it.

01:22:54.000 Don't want it to catch me off guard one day.

01:22:58.000 I don't know.

01:22:58.000 You politely say, excuse me.

01:23:01.000 I mean, where is he working?

01:23:02.000 There's no bathroom?

01:23:03.000 Yeah, every time I ship my pants, everyone is very interested.

01:23:06.000 I'm usually around dudes. 1.00

01:23:07.000 I'm like, shit my pants, shit my pants. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Oh, I'm fucking... 1.00

01:23:12.000 The last time I think I shit my pants, I was in a car. 0.99

01:23:15.000 I was driving down, going towards the duck, and I had somebody in the car with me. 1.00

01:23:19.000 And I fucking, and I was like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:23:23.000 I just had a fucking... 1.00

01:23:25.000 It went through my pants, through my underwear, and left a wet stain on the scene. 0.99

01:23:30.000 I took a picture of it, and I called my cousin Maya. 0.94

01:23:32.000 I was like, yo, dude, I just shit myself in the car. 0.99

01:23:35.000 He was fucking dying. 1.00

01:23:37.000 Fucking dying. 1.00

01:23:38.000 Yeah, you got to go home. 1.00

01:23:40.000 You turn around.

01:23:40.000 Yeah, I dropped the guy off at our local, and I said, I'll be back.

01:23:46.000 I did that one time on a motorcycle.

01:23:48.000 It was no fun.

01:23:50.000 No bueno.

01:23:52.000 I've never really been inconvenienced by it.

01:23:54.000 I was coming down from Boston on 95.

01:23:56.000 I just come out of Rhode Island into Connecticut.

01:23:59.000 And usually I stop at exit 93 or 97.

01:24:03.000 Like there's a little gas station there.

01:24:04.000 And boy, the bubble guts came.

01:24:09.000 It was like that horse when you had to throw up.

01:24:11.000 You thought you were going to beat it back?

01:24:13.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:14.000 No.

01:24:15.000 Hold on, hold on.

01:24:16.000 The door was open and the horses were running. 1.00

01:24:18.000 Oh, that's the worst when you're having shit cramps. 0.97

01:24:20.000 Or like you're on a plane and it's about to take off or it's landing and you know, you can't get up to use the bathroom. 0.99

01:24:27.000 I was once in a plane where I was pulling, pushing my elbows to get my ass off the seat and going, because somebody's got a woman in the bathroom. 1.00

01:24:36.000 I'm like, what are you going to do? 0.99

01:24:37.000 Fucking drag me to my seat? 0.99

01:24:41.000 But I've never had a problem with it as far as like, you shit your pants, whether you're at work or at home or even at a shopping mall. 1.00

01:24:50.000 You go into the stall, you take your underwear off, you wipe what's left with what's left of your underwear.

01:24:58.000 Socks, cut t-shirts?

01:24:59.000 No, no, the underwear. 1.00

01:25:01.000 You can fold it such that the shit, and it's not going to be a log, it's usually like a little squirt of yellow shit. 1.00

01:25:08.000 But I find I can use the underwear, the non-used parts, to clean the rest of my ass, throw that in the garbage, and then take the toilet paper, make a big ball, dip it in the toilet, and then wash my ass there. 1.00

01:25:23.000 Do you ever do that? 1.00

01:25:24.000 Use toilet water to wash your ass? 1.00

01:25:26.000 When I was on the bike, I was on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. 1.00

01:25:31.000 There was like a little stream, a little bit of water on the...

01:25:33.000 Oh, that was a lucky break. 0.99

01:25:35.000 I had to hide behind my bike, take my pants off, soak my pants in the fucking water to clean them out. 0.98

01:25:41.000 And then cut my t-shirt to dry myself. 0.99

01:25:44.000 Oh, it was a fucking disaster. 0.99

01:25:45.000 So now you're wearing a half D as you get back on your bike. 0.99

01:25:50.000 You got like the bottom, like, you know, socks.

01:25:52.000 It was just like, oh, my God.

01:25:56.000 It was such a panic state. 1.00

01:26:00.000 Like, I was standing up on the bike, clinching my ass. 0.98

01:26:05.000 Like, I'm like, this is not happening. 0.99

01:26:07.000 And it happened.

01:26:08.000 And it was just.

01:26:10.000 I don't mind that.

01:26:11.000 Once it goes, it's just like. 0.95

01:26:12.000 Well, now we have to go to George Brett shit my pants last night.

01:26:16.000 I mean, you can't talk about the Rolling Stones and not play satisfaction. 0.86

01:26:20.000 Yeah, George Brett is, he goes a couple times a year.

01:26:22.000 Yep, good for it. 1.00

01:26:24.000 Shit my pants last night. 1.00

01:26:26.000 Ryan, are you taking the queue? 1.00

01:26:28.000 Yes. 0.94

01:26:28.000 He said he shit his pants one time walking through a casino. 0.94

01:26:31.000 Yes, yes. 0.86

01:26:32.000 But the crazy part about this video is they're sort of like, whatever, George.

01:26:36.000 What? 0.77

01:26:37.000 If George Brett is on my team and he goes, I shit my pants last night. 0.52

01:26:41.000 I'm no longer stretching. 0.87

01:26:42.000 I'm standing up going, wait, what happened?

01:26:45.000 You need to hear this story.

01:26:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:46.000 Everyone, shut up. 1.00

01:26:53.000 I shit my pants last night. 1.00

01:26:55.000 I did. 1.00

01:26:56.000 Went out and had a great meal, just a great fucking meal. 0.99

01:26:59.000 I had to go to the bathroom, so bathroom car. 1.00

01:27:01.000 I'm going, man. 1.00

01:27:02.000 I got shit. 1.00

01:27:05.000 I had fucking shit in my pants. 1.00

01:27:07.000 I went and... 1.00

01:27:09.000 Stop stretching!

01:27:11.000 He's on the floor crying.

01:27:14.000 But yeah, this guy right here is tiny.

01:27:16.000 He's kneeling in honor of this.

01:27:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:19.000 He's like, this is a moment.

01:27:20.000 That's his God.

01:27:22.000 I know.

01:27:22.000 Terrible.

01:27:23.000 Not worthy. 1.00

01:27:24.000 When was the last time you shit your pants? 1.00

01:27:26.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:26.000 Been a while? 0.99

01:27:27.000 Yeah, it's been a long time.

01:27:29.000 I was in Vegas a couple years ago.

01:27:30.000 Just an honest to God-true story.

01:27:32.000 Staying at the Bellagio.

01:27:33.000 I went over to the Mirage for dinner, met some friends of mine over there.

01:27:38.000 Went to Kokomos, a great little steakhouse.

01:27:41.000 The guy brings out some fresh.

01:27:42.000 That's a good ad for Kokomos.

01:27:44.000 Kokomos is like, can you just bleep out our name, please?

01:27:49.000 I called it Kakamos after what I said.

01:27:51.000 I got to give them to you guys.

01:27:53.000 I'm eating them.

01:27:54.000 Then we go play gamble a little bit.

01:27:56.000 I have a tea time early in the morning.

01:27:58.000 So I said, look, I got to get going.

01:27:59.000 I'm walking back to the hotel. 1.00

01:28:00.000 I get three-quarters of the way out of the lobby, and all of a sudden I go, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:28:05.000 And I'm standing here like this. 1.00

01:28:06.000 I got my butt pinched so fucking... 1.00

01:28:08.000 I'm fucked. 1.00

01:28:08.000 I can't move. 1.00

01:28:11.000 All of a sudden, you know, felt alright.

01:28:14.000 I went just like this.

01:28:16.000 Water.

01:28:18.000 Even if I just kept walking. 0.99

01:28:22.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:28:24.000 Water. 0.99

01:28:25.000 Felt to right.

01:28:26.000 I went just like this.

01:28:28.000 Water.

01:28:30.000 I had some food poisoning from the crabs.

01:28:33.000 Yeah, that's evident, George.

01:28:34.000 We got that part.

01:28:36.000 Tied it around my waist, and I'm just standing there, and it's just running down my leg.

01:28:40.000 I got jeans on, black bucks, no socks. 0.98

01:28:44.000 And I just start fucking walking. 0.99

01:28:46.000 No socks with jeeps. 1.00

01:28:47.000 No bitches coming. 1.00

01:28:48.000 This is just water. 1.00

01:28:49.000 This is straight fucking water. 0.99

01:28:53.000 I had some food poisoning from the crabs. 0.99

01:28:56.000 Take off my leather jacket.

01:28:59.000 I'm just standing there, and it's just running down my leg.

01:29:03.000 Okay. 1.00

01:29:04.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:29:05.000 Anyway, his manager comes, and his manager brings some pants, but his manager is some fat pig and he has like size 42 pants. 1.00

01:29:15.000 She's got to get on the escalator. 0.99

01:29:17.000 Water.

01:29:23.000 Dear G Queen and Fag Daddy, I was catching up on my missed shows from December. 1.00

01:29:28.000 During an episode, you and Maddie were discussing ghosts.

01:29:30.000 Oh, wait, we've already discussed this, haven't we?

01:29:33.000 Yeah, yeah, we already showed that.

01:29:34.000 I got to remember to put flags on things we've already discussed.

01:29:38.000 What was that Friday show?

01:29:41.000 Gavin, when you said there'd be broads on the Friday show, I thought you were bringing in porn stars. 0.99

01:29:46.000 That was because I saw you had been on Compound and had that one guest. 0.75

01:29:49.000 But then those hideous creatures at your and Ryan's desks, and we got the duck. 0.84

01:29:53.000 Ew, next time we'll ban you and Ryan. 1.00

01:29:56.000 We don't want to see those bitches anymore, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:30:00.000 That's kind of sexist. 1.00

01:30:01.000 That is sexist.

01:30:02.000 What we were trying to do was what Barstool Sports does, where they bring in chicks. 1.00

01:30:09.000 And Isabelle O'Reilly and Isabella DeLuca were unavailable.

01:30:13.000 So we got women that were, I'd say, as attractive or slightly less. 0.99

01:30:18.000 Spicer in Cincinnati is the coolest guy ever.

01:30:20.000 We were best friends and hang out all the time.

01:30:21.000 He also has doubles of all the muscle cars, triples of the Barracuda, the Roadrunner, and the Nova.

01:30:28.000 There we said it. 1.00

01:30:30.000 Damn, damn. 1.00

01:30:32.000 Kevin, I like your take on tattoos. 0.99

01:30:34.000 Would you do a definitive green screen on your tattoos complete with backstory or lack of artist date and pain level?

01:30:41.000 Maybe throw Maddie and Rye guys in there too?

01:30:43.000 That's not a bad idea.

01:30:45.000 We all do it.

01:30:46.000 I've had a few.

01:30:48.000 I've had a few.

01:30:49.000 Dude, that would be like a two-hour show.

01:30:53.000 If you broke down every single one of your tattoos. 1.00

01:30:57.000 Damn. 0.99

01:30:58.000 Do you have any on your legs? 1.00

01:30:59.000 Yeah.

01:31:00.000 I got both calves and one side of the calf.

01:31:03.000 What's down there?

01:31:05.000 I have a Pearl Jam stick figure.

01:31:10.000 I have a friend of mine drew a thing on a bar coaster, so I had that done.

01:31:16.000 A good friend of mine, Paula. 0.59

01:31:18.000 And then uh I have a a naked Mexican lady on my outside. 1.00

01:31:24.000 And then, you know, I've got my back done, my chest, my stomach, my ribs, both arms. 1.00

01:31:30.000 Sound like a piece of trash. 0.99

01:31:31.000 Yeah, you know, like a rat. 1.00

01:31:33.000 I'm a single father with five child. 0.92

01:31:35.000 Do you think there's any point to be getting married again?

01:31:39.000 Or should I continue to date around until I'm super old and die alone?

01:31:43.000 Please say Elijah's hair smells like pea.

01:31:46.000 I've never smelled Elijah's hair.

01:31:48.000 You have five children, dude?

01:31:52.000 I mean, you want to get those kids a mom. 1.00

01:31:54.000 I would keep trying to date.

01:31:56.000 Well, do they live with him?

01:31:57.000 I guess the older ones.

01:31:59.000 Oh, but you wouldn't say I'm a single father if there was a mom in the picture, would you?

01:32:06.000 Uh-oh, someone wants to bone you, Maddie. 1.00

01:32:07.000 Ooh.

01:32:09.000 Is Maddie single?

01:32:11.000 Asking for a friend.

01:32:12.000 Who's that?

01:32:13.000 Okay.

01:32:14.000 You know, I...

01:32:15.000 As a matter of fact, I am.

01:32:16.000 If it's okay, I know who this is.

01:32:18.000 She's on Twitter.

01:32:19.000 Maybe I should pull up a picture.

01:32:20.000 She's not a private person.

01:32:22.000 Okay.

01:32:23.000 Ah, Ab.

01:32:25.000 Okay, Maddie.

01:32:28.000 I don't want this to sound offensive, but as Maddie's friend, I don't want him to get hurt. 1.00

01:32:33.000 Before we take this any farther, Danielle, we need to see a picture of your cunt. 1.00

01:32:39.000 That's very Louis C.K.'s. 1.00

01:32:41.000 We're going to need to see a picture of your cunt. 1.00

01:32:42.000 We're going to need to see your cunt. 1.00

01:32:44.000 If I don't see the cunt, then it's not real. 1.00

01:32:48.000 Okay. 1.00

01:32:48.000 Sold, that's a yes. 1.00

01:32:49.000 We're in.

01:32:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:52.000 But we're blocking out a pretty important feature here.

01:32:55.000 Oh, she's stacked.

01:32:57.000 Nice.

01:32:58.000 I like that first picture better.

01:33:01.000 Great stuff.

01:33:01.000 Sold.

01:33:03.000 Let's take a call.

01:33:04.000 No, she's asking for a friend.

01:33:05.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:33:06.000 Maybe her friend left hit and right turned him around.

01:33:10.000 Hey.

01:33:10.000 Those are two tails.

01:33:12.000 If you're local, let me know.

01:33:15.000 If you're local, let me know. 1.00

01:33:17.000 Yeah, you're crazy. 1.00

01:33:19.000 Okay. 1.00

01:33:21.000 312, you're on the line.

01:33:24.000 What's up, Gab?

01:33:25.000 What's up, Maddie?

01:33:25.000 Hey, man.

01:33:26.000 What's going on?

01:33:26.000 What am I?

01:33:26.000 Fucking chop shit?

01:33:28.000 Yes. 1.00

01:33:28.000 Oh. 1.00

01:33:29.000 Right.

01:33:30.000 Well, that's.

01:33:32.000 I wanted to ask, what's going to happen when this shrimp inevitably dies from Ryan's ineptitude?

01:33:37.000 How dare you?

01:33:38.000 We're going to get cocktail sushi.

01:33:39.000 I'm going to shrug.

01:33:41.000 I'm going to shrug and buy another one.

01:33:44.000 As a Japanese person, my heart goes out to aquatic life of all sorts.

01:33:50.000 Really?

01:33:50.000 Creators of sushi.

01:33:52.000 Yeah.

01:33:53.000 All you guys do is eat them. 0.55

01:33:54.000 Don't you, like, also just take a shark's dorsal fin and leave it to die?

01:33:59.000 Yeah, shark's soup.

01:34:00.000 All right, I'll be honest.

01:34:02.000 The real reason is I don't want to be tempted every day to slaughter and cause pain towards the creature.

01:34:09.000 And I know that I would fail at that.

01:34:12.000 I would flense it. 0.99

01:34:13.000 You ever see a fucking whale flendsing? 0.99

01:34:15.000 It's the most brutal thing. 0.99

01:34:17.000 I've never heard that term before.

01:34:18.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:34:19.000 Flendsing?

01:34:20.000 Fleansing. 0.99

01:34:20.000 Is that when you clean out their anal glands? 0.99

01:34:22.000 That's like when you break down a fish, when you butcher a fish, but for a whale. 0.96

01:34:26.000 A whale can get butchered by the Japanese. 0.99

01:34:31.000 The whale man.

01:34:32.000 The white whale.

01:34:33.000 You would be appalled by the amount of diversity in modern society.

01:34:39.000 Notice the white whale doesn't commit violence like the black whale, shamu.

01:34:45.000 You gotta work on your Jared Taylor, dude.

01:34:48.000 He's doing Jared Taylor so badly, I have to say he's doing Jared Taylor.

01:34:51.000 It's literally called a killer whale.

01:34:53.000 Have a great night, boys.

01:34:54.000 Bye.

01:34:55.000 Yeah, we forgot to hang up on him.

01:34:56.000 Hey, Gavron and Maddie, love the show.

01:34:58.000 Could use some advice right about now.

01:35:01.000 Right about now. 0.89

01:35:03.000 After the birth of our son, my wife went a little bat shit crazy, which I expected. 1.00

01:35:09.000 But now, 14 months later, after the birth of our son, and constant ER visits, it was apparent she had OCD and health anxiety.

01:35:18.000 I've tried to be supportive by finding her a therapist, rearranging my work schedule, getting grandparents more involved, but nothing seems to help calm her nerves, and she always finds something to complain about.

01:35:30.000 After listening to her complain about being home with her son and how it's not as mentally satisfying as working, what was her job?

01:35:40.000 Solving Rubik's Cubes? 1.00

01:35:43.000 I almost lost my shit. 0.99

01:35:45.000 It's not even the ER visits that bother me. 1.00

01:35:47.000 It's her saying she didn't think being a mother was going to be this difficult.

01:35:51.000 Wait, it can't be difficult and not mentally satisfying at the same time.

01:35:58.000 What's more mentally satisfying than something difficult?

01:36:01.000 Well, at 14 months, it's relatively young in the experience.

01:36:06.000 I mean, I can remember times as an infant, my son would uncontrollably cry, and it would be mentally taxing for both my wife and I. Like, you know, he would scream throughout the day.

01:36:18.000 Like, I remember one time I was living in a house with my in-laws.

01:36:25.000 It was a two-family house.

01:36:26.000 I rented the top floor.

01:36:27.000 They lived on the first floor.

01:36:30.000 And our son was in the bassinet at the bottom of the bed.

01:36:33.000 And both of us were sound asleep, unconscious.

01:36:38.000 And my mother-in-law hears him screaming from upstairs.

01:36:43.000 She comes upstairs, and she picks him up out of the bassinet, and she turns the light on and starts scolding.

01:36:51.000 Like, you don't hear, like, we were unconscious, like, just from the routine.

01:36:56.000 There was no booze involved?

01:36:57.000 No.

01:36:59.000 It was just the constant abuse.

01:37:01.000 Oh.

01:37:02.000 Listen, I understand.

01:37:05.000 And, you know, I was the breadwinner, so I had to go out and make the living and everything.

01:37:10.000 She was home with a child.

01:37:12.000 Like, I'm fortunate she never complained or, you know, said, I can't do this without, you know, because I would work, come home and take over, and she would get her some time off.

01:37:24.000 But once you get through all the feed it every four hours and all that, like the first 24 months until like the child starts to have his personality and can function, like You're relating to the child.

01:37:38.000 You're not just caring for a bundle of joy.

01:37:40.000 Yeah, good point.

01:37:41.000 It becomes more.

01:37:43.000 Right.

01:37:43.000 It's just a screaming thing at the beginning.

01:37:46.000 You don't know.

01:37:47.000 You're trying to figure out what's wrong.

01:37:49.000 I'm remembering it all.

01:37:50.000 Once it recognizes you and goes, oh, it's like sees mama.

01:37:55.000 Like 14 months in, 14 months is a long time.

01:37:59.000 It is, but it is.

01:38:00.000 Why does it recognize you?

01:38:01.000 I keep forgetting.

01:38:02.000 And I'm saying it because we're talking about males and females.

01:38:04.000 The first couple of months, they don't see anything but what?

01:38:06.000 Red, black, and a couple of colors, and then, you know, all the...

01:38:10.000 Well, they say that babies are born a trimester early because their heads are too big.

01:38:14.000 And like a horse comes out and walks down the street.

01:38:17.000 Ours come out and it needs another term before it's like a person.

01:38:22.000 At what age did you start having like cognitive memories?

01:38:26.000 I think I don't remember.

01:38:28.000 Five?

01:38:29.000 Yeah, five. 0.98

01:38:30.000 I have like a fucking pube of England and we left when I was turning five. 0.97

01:38:36.000 Right. 0.98

01:38:37.000 I hear stories like I was in France when I was like five.

01:38:40.000 Like, you know, because my mother and father would go back and forth to Scotland and England.

01:38:45.000 So he would bring, my father would bring his sisters and brother, and they'd go to Europe.

01:38:49.000 They'd go through France, England, they would do the whole thing.

01:38:53.000 And there's pictures of me there. 0.96

01:38:54.000 I don't remember a fucking thing of that. 0.97

01:38:56.000 No. 0.98

01:38:56.000 And how old was that? 0.98

01:38:57.000 I'd say between three and five.

01:38:59.000 Yeah, they say you got to empty your hard drive.

01:39:02.000 Like my first passport, my mother, you can see her hands holding my torso in the picture.

01:39:09.000 It's not even the ER visits that bother me.

01:39:11.000 It's her saying that she didn't think being a mother was going to be so difficult.

01:39:14.000 In the same breath, saying it's not rewarding.

01:39:16.000 What do I do? 1.00

01:39:17.000 How can I straighten this situation out without kicking her ass to the curb? 1.00

01:39:22.000 P.S. I work over in Yonkers in Manhattan as a video technician. 1.00

01:39:25.000 If you have a chance. 0.99

01:39:26.000 Ooh, let's send that over to fucking Rye Guy. 0.99

01:39:30.000 Hello. 0.98

01:39:31.000 I mean, you have to communicate.

01:39:32.000 You got to ask her what's what's not like what where are you feeling shorted?

01:39:40.000 Like, why aren't you enjoying our child?

01:39:42.000 Why aren't you, what turned you off from being a mother? 1.00

01:39:46.000 What?

01:39:47.000 Maybe discipline is in order.

01:39:49.000 I don't mean slapping her around.

01:39:50.000 I don't know how old she is. 0.99

01:39:52.000 For fuck's sakes. 1.00

01:39:53.000 I mean, come on. 1.00

01:39:54.000 Is she 25?

01:39:57.000 Is she 30?

01:39:58.000 Maybe not placating her would be the solution.

01:40:01.000 And not going to ER for her panic attacks.

01:40:04.000 Saying, you've got to figure this out.

01:40:06.000 Give her C-bands. 1.00

01:40:08.000 This is around the time, up to two months.

01:40:13.000 Yeah, this is 14.

01:40:14.000 So they'll recognize images and shapes and the sound of your voice and stuff like that.

01:40:18.000 She smiles when she sees me and my wife.

01:40:21.000 So it's pretty cool.

01:40:22.000 Definitely.

01:40:25.000 So she'll look at us and if we smile, she smiles.

01:40:29.000 Oh, really?

01:40:29.000 And if we, yeah, this is around the age they could recognize facial patterns and things like that.

01:40:34.000 You know what would be a funny prank, Maddie?

01:40:36.000 If we find a baby that's like multiracial Asian and the same age and we go by and we switch them out, I would notice right away. 1.00

01:40:46.000 And then, you know, they're like, I don't know what's going on.

01:40:48.000 And then we switch it back.

01:40:50.000 It's like a zebra.

01:40:52.000 That wouldn't be cool at all.

01:40:53.000 That would be hilarious.

01:40:54.000 All right, let's take a call.

01:40:55.000 I really got 20 minutes left. 0.99

01:40:57.000 I don't think we helped that guy, but Jesus Christ, who the fuck are we? 0.98

01:41:01.000 Just communicate between each other. 0.98

01:41:03.000 Matt.

01:41:03.000 If she's feeling stressed, you know, take over.

01:41:06.000 Let her have a break. 1.00

01:41:08.000 Let Rover take over.

01:41:10.000 I will say, my wife, when my neighbor started attacking my kids, my wife had a nervous breakdown, and it could have ruined our marriage.

01:41:18.000 She went away to a retreat in Canyon-something in Arizona and came, and she was gone for like 10 days, maybe two weeks, getting up at dawn, going on hikes.

01:41:29.000 And I'm sure the poor equivalent of this is like your mother-in-law's farm or whatever, you know, any relative that has a rural thing.

01:41:36.000 And we didn't nag her and call her.

01:41:39.000 I don't think she FaceTimed once.

01:41:42.000 I had the kids. 0.99

01:41:44.000 She came back a fucking rock, unshakable. 1.00

01:41:47.000 You could shoot her. 1.00

01:41:47.000 She'd Matrix out of the way. 1.00

01:41:49.000 Like she's 100% cured.

01:41:52.000 So I guess that's my answer is you take the baby. 0.54

01:41:56.000 14 months.

01:41:57.000 You're probably not breastfeeding anymore.

01:41:59.000 So you take the baby.

01:42:01.000 I know you work.

01:42:01.000 Figure that out.

01:42:02.000 I don't know.

01:42:02.000 Have someone come by.

01:42:03.000 You can bring her here.

01:42:05.000 And give her like a break. 0.99

01:42:09.000 I bet you could do as little as a week, maybe even five days.

01:42:13.000 And she can just like sleep in, be lazy. 0.99

01:42:18.000 You know, when you're working out and you have to do 15 of these and you're like, I'm going to fucking die. 0.93

01:42:23.000 And then you give yourself even like three seconds, one, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand. 0.74

01:42:28.000 That gives you like enough for three or four more.

01:42:32.000 You don't need to stop and take a one-minute break.

01:42:35.000 Just the tiniest breather sort of, I think it tells your brain that there's an escape.

01:42:41.000 There's an out.

01:42:42.000 And what really freaks you out is that what really freaks you out is you think there's no break here.

01:42:51.000 At least that's the way my brain works.

01:42:53.000 And clearly it's the way my wife's brain works. 1.00

01:42:55.000 When we were in a sweat lodge when I was courting her, they said, we're going to open the doors to the sweat lodge when we're done a song.

01:43:02.000 And as a white man, I feel like if we know that there's a break coming, we can survive anything. 1.00

01:43:08.000 But their fucking stupid songs are, hi, no, ho, yo, hi, woah, hi, you know. 1.00

01:43:13.000 Did you jump in water right away when you came out? 1.00

01:43:15.000 No, we walked in snow barefoot.

01:43:18.000 There was no water around, but it was freezing cold.

01:43:21.000 And it was heaven, the cold.

01:43:23.000 Oh, they do that in federal.

01:43:24.000 You get the Native Americans in federal prison, they do the foot lodge. 1.00

01:43:28.000 You should just say you're Native. 0.81

01:43:29.000 Dave, didn't you say that?

01:43:30.000 Yeah, I changed my religion in federal prison.

01:43:33.000 So I could wear a bandana around my head when I jog.

01:43:37.000 Religious headgear. 0.95

01:43:39.000 Because, you know, the Rattafarians had their big popcorn hat, chiff pop hat. 1.00

01:43:42.000 And then like, you know, Jews had their yoga and stuff like that.

01:43:45.000 You know, the Muslims had their Kufis. 0.77

01:43:47.000 So the Native Americans, they get to wear a bandana. 1.00

01:43:51.000 So when I started running when I was, you know, I was a young man at the time and I would run and run five miles three times a week. 0.98

01:43:57.000 And so I wanted a bandana, so I had to go to the chapel and change my religion from Roman Catholic to fucking Native American. 0.94

01:44:04.000 And is that the only thing about you that was Native American? 0.99

01:44:09.000 Yeah, pretty much.

01:44:11.000 Yeah.

01:44:12.000 I mean, you were allowed to get like a peace pipe, a medicine bag.

01:44:16.000 They would give you non-nicotine tobacco because in the feds at the time, I went in in 2004.

01:44:22.000 In 2005, they stopped smoking across the whole FBOP, the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

01:44:30.000 So the Indians would get no nicotine tobacco for their ceremonies and stuff like that.

01:44:36.000 But that became the biggest contraband on compounds.

01:44:41.000 Someone's asking to hear the dehydrated daddy story.

01:44:43.000 So my buddy Shane upstate, he's got lots and lots of kids, like from different women and taking and adopting kids.

01:44:51.000 Is someone on the line?

01:44:52.000 Yeah.

01:44:53.000 Who?

01:44:54.000 I think his name's Matt.

01:44:55.000 What's up, Matt?

01:44:56.000 Hey, Matt.

01:44:57.000 Hey, what's up?

01:45:00.000 I need you to do a censored present watching the 355, and if you don't, I'm canceling my subscription. 0.98

01:45:08.000 Oh, shit. 0.98

01:45:08.000 We better get to work. 0.98

01:45:09.000 What's the 355?

01:45:12.000 Oh, is that that story about the corrupt cops?

01:45:16.000 It's badass chicks saving the world. 1.00

01:45:20.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:45:22.000 Yeah, I heard about this. 1.00

01:45:25.000 Okay, thanks for calling. 1.00

01:45:26.000 It's this retarded fucking movie. 1.00

01:45:30.000 What is it, the 355? 1.00

01:45:32.000 Yeah, three-fifths rule?

01:45:34.000 Is that no, Ryan?

01:45:36.000 That's not the three-fifths rule.

01:45:38.000 Because they didn't want the world to know her real name.

01:45:42.000 That's Richie Cunningham's daughter.

01:45:45.000 Really?

01:45:46.000 Miss Howard. 1.00

01:45:49.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

01:45:50.000 Ow! 1.00

01:46:05.000 Who?

01:46:05.000 The proud boys?

01:46:14.000 Wait, no, that's not the daughter.

01:46:17.000 Oh, she looks just like her.

01:46:18.000 No.

01:46:29.000 I can't believe we're gonna have to beat up 30 cops.

01:46:31.000 I'll handle the guns.

01:46:33.000 Are you in therapy?

01:46:35.000 I should be.

01:46:36.000 You're the best in the world at what you do.

01:46:39.000 You're the best in the world at what you do.

01:46:41.000 Babbling?

01:46:43.000 What? 0.96

01:46:43.000 Be black? 0.96

01:46:46.000 The target is on the move. 0.98

01:46:47.000 You're not going in there alone.

01:46:49.000 We'll go together.

01:46:50.000 I have a family.

01:46:52.000 I can't remember movies anymore.

01:46:54.000 The bad guys are out there right now.

01:46:57.000 You go home.

01:46:58.000 You bring them with you.

01:47:01.000 Are you under control?

01:47:02.000 Are you?

01:47:03.000 No. 0.54

01:47:04.000 Black cars.

01:47:05.000 Black cows. 0.90

01:47:06.000 Everything. 1.00

01:47:07.000 Black bitches out on the street. 1.00

01:47:08.000 I counted six. 1.00

01:47:09.000 But thanks for the tip. 1.00

01:47:16.000 Okay, you know what all of this shit is? 0.99

01:47:17.000 I've had enough. 1.00

01:47:19.000 Nerds who have never fucked women or fucked one woman, the fat chick from their chemistry class, they see girls as this daunting magical force. 1.00

01:47:31.000 And they're like, what the fuck is that? 1.00

01:47:33.000 It's just like Tomb Raider. 1.00

01:47:35.000 Like that we see a pretty girl and we're like, wow, what a hot chick. 1.00

01:47:38.000 She'll never fuck me. 1.00

01:47:38.000 I'm old. 1.00

01:47:39.000 But man, I would have had her one day.

01:47:41.000 Anyway, bye. 1.00

01:47:42.000 They see a hot chick and they're like, they're looking at a fucking monster, right? 0.99

01:47:48.000 And they also, they feel the same way about violence. 0.99

01:47:51.000 Like, fighting is like the craziest, most magical, weird thing ever.

01:47:56.000 It's something they'll never understand or be a part of.

01:47:58.000 So they combine these two crazy things.

01:48:02.000 Women and their incredible power and fighting and its unfathomable mystery. 1.00

01:48:08.000 And they combine them. 0.99

01:48:09.000 Sex and pistols. 0.99

01:48:12.000 Sex and pistols. 1.00

01:48:13.000 And normal men are just going, oh, for fuck's sakes. 1.00

01:48:17.000 Like Nick DiPaulo going, I don't think my suspension of disbelief can take Charles Lee Theron beating up 13 Russian mobsters anymore. 0.99

01:48:24.000 I'm done with movies. 0.99

01:48:26.000 But nerds and beta males and young Gen Zs are like, yeah, all my shit together. 0.99

01:48:33.000 Fantasy. 0.96

01:48:34.000 I'm like watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, the scene where the guy's face melts.

01:48:38.000 Like I'm right in the eye of the storm.

01:48:41.000 It's not normal.

01:48:43.000 How could they complain about being underestimated, but at the same time, that's like the basis for their tactics?

01:48:49.000 They're like, they walk in with a dress.

01:48:52.000 It's like, it works to their advantage.

01:48:54.000 You know what would be funny if we did a movie like that, but it was realistic.

01:48:58.000 So there's these agents that show up in like these gowns, and then they go up to the Russian guy to steal his papers.

01:49:04.000 And she's like, oops, sorry, I tripped.

01:49:06.000 And then she goes to grab the papers and goes, what are you doing?

01:49:09.000 She goes, ah! 0.99

01:49:11.000 And her nose just starts bleeding.

01:49:13.000 Lisa, are you okay?

01:49:14.000 Picks her up and slams her on her head. 1.00

01:49:16.000 Call the police. 0.98

01:49:17.000 You just punched her.

01:49:18.000 You didn't encrypt the radio that you used.

01:49:21.000 You know that?

01:49:22.000 I don't know.

01:49:24.000 That's what would have happened. 1.00

01:49:25.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:49:26.000 Somebody, yeah, we're getting a lot of people saying, why are we supporting Getter? 1.00

01:49:31.000 Because they banned.

01:49:32.000 Oh, yeah, because they banned Nick Fundez.

01:49:34.000 And they banned our boy over here.

01:49:36.000 What's his name? 0.99

01:49:37.000 Fucking John Miller. 0.99

01:49:39.000 Well, John Miller had nigger in his profile, and they don't like the word nick. 0.99

01:49:43.000 They banned that word. 0.89

01:49:45.000 That's a big thing.

01:49:46.000 Should I not cut on Getter because they did that?

01:49:48.000 I tried Gab.

01:49:50.000 I didn't like it.

01:49:51.000 I couldn't figure it out.

01:49:52.000 Sorry.

01:49:52.000 I think it's a good place in the meantime until we find a place that does let us use the N-word.

01:49:57.000 Yeah, but like if I until we find, that's our goal.

01:50:01.000 We want to find a place where we can just say nigger. 1.00

01:50:04.000 It rhymes with getter, but it starts with a different letter. 0.93

01:50:07.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:50:07.000 We're starting a new social media platform called nigger. 0.97

01:50:09.000 But there's no E at the end of the day. 0.92

01:50:11.000 It's not nigger free, but it is free niggers. 1.00

01:50:15.000 But if I boycotted everything that banned Nick Fuentes, I'd have to ban planes. 0.80

01:50:21.000 Is that the best retaliation?

01:50:23.000 He's on the no-fly list?

01:50:24.000 Yeah.

01:50:26.000 So should we, I don't know.

01:50:28.000 I think it's a good way to get my message Across, I like my message.

01:50:31.000 I don't find it to be selling out at least because it's the only thing I'm allowed on.

01:50:39.000 Yeah.

01:50:41.000 I don't think Nick would want me to if he called me crying and said, dude, you got to do this.

01:50:49.000 Actually, let's talk to him right now.

01:50:51.000 I think he is on the line.

01:50:53.000 Okay, good.

01:50:53.000 He's been waiting for a while.

01:50:56.000 He's been waiting for a whale of a time.

01:50:59.000 Waiting for a yeah, I couldn't show that footage.

01:51:01.000 It was actually very, very brutal.

01:51:03.000 There's something about. 0.99

01:51:04.000 Not if you don't give a fuck about whales. 0.98

01:51:06.000 No, dude. 0.98

01:51:06.000 I think you should. 0.98

01:51:07.000 Chop them up.

01:51:08.000 You would see it and you'd say, that's a bit rich.

01:51:10.000 No, when are you cutting it into the future? 1.00

01:51:12.000 Show me the fucking. 0.99

01:51:13.000 You want to see it? 1.00

01:51:14.000 Yeah.

01:51:15.000 All right.

01:51:16.000 All right.

01:51:17.000 You've asked me.

01:51:18.000 Like, I had a hot dog for dinner and a cheeseburger for lunch.

01:51:24.000 That's a cow getting slaughtered. 1.00

01:51:27.000 You're going to puke dash eat up when you see.

01:51:28.000 So you see whales as above cows and mantis shrimp are above flies.

01:51:34.000 I don't think I'd like to see a cow having this done to them. 1.00

01:51:37.000 Well, you should.

01:51:38.000 If you eat them, you're morally obligated to see what they're doing.

01:51:41.000 I just don't want to see how the sausage is made.

01:51:43.000 You've got to see how the sausage is made.

01:51:45.000 The only time you don't see the sausage being made is when your wife is putting on lingerie. 0.96

01:51:49.000 Ah.

01:51:52.000 Yay.

01:51:53.000 Oh, God.

01:51:54.000 Thanks for the warning, Rye Guy.

01:51:57.000 Dismantling of a whale.

01:52:00.000 Oh, God.

01:52:03.000 They cut a dead whale open. 1.00

01:52:05.000 You're a fucking pussy. 1.00

01:52:07.000 I could watch cataract surgery. 1.00

01:52:08.000 No problems.

01:52:10.000 Where they take the little tool and they go inside.

01:52:12.000 I'm not worried about the eye, per se.

01:52:15.000 Like, what's your problem with this?

01:52:17.000 Wait till it gets bloody.

01:52:18.000 Oh, no.

01:52:19.000 Blood.

01:52:20.000 First of all, it's not like it gets too bloody because it's already dead.

01:52:22.000 The heart's not beating.

01:52:23.000 So it's not like blood's going to be squirting out everywhere.

01:52:26.000 It's just resistance collected.

01:52:28.000 That's exactly what I imagined taking apart a whale look like.

01:52:33.000 What?

01:52:33.000 That part's softcore.

01:52:34.000 Now they get to this stuff.

01:52:37.000 Ouch.

01:52:37.000 Oh, no.

01:52:38.000 Ouch.

01:52:40.000 Ouch.

01:52:40.000 You should come hunting.

01:52:42.000 I would go hunting.

01:52:43.000 Yeah, when you shoot the deer, what do you think you got to do?

01:52:45.000 You got to break her down.

01:52:47.000 Exactly.

01:52:47.000 No, I've seen that happen.

01:52:48.000 My friend Nick DeVino's dad owned a restaurant.

01:52:51.000 I don't understand what you're talking about.

01:52:52.000 What about this is freaky?

01:52:54.000 I don't understand.

01:52:55.000 It's getting bloody.

01:52:56.000 It looks too gross. 0.58

01:52:58.000 Gross?

01:52:58.000 There's very minimal blood because it's dead.

01:53:01.000 Yeah.

01:53:02.000 It's like the least gross animal preparation I've ever seen.

01:53:07.000 You sure you're ready?

01:53:10.000 Are you kidding?

01:53:11.000 Hailey?

01:53:12.000 Hey, Gavin, Maddie, and Rye Guy. 0.92

01:53:14.000 I've been enjoying your men porn segments, and I want to introduce to you the feminist version. 1.00

01:53:19.000 There's a recent YouTube trend of women in their mid-30s showcasing their independence and autonomy. 0.91

01:53:25.000 By the way, this is called feminist porn. 1.00

01:53:28.000 Behold the ideal modern feminists, former NFL cheerleader, now living out of a Prius in her mid-30s, alone, childless, raising a dog. 0.99

01:53:39.000 And I'm like, oh my gosh.

01:53:40.000 Always presenting a smile to the camera.

01:53:43.000 You can see the emptiness and desperation to appear happy to others.

01:53:47.000 He's like, you can't sleep here.

01:53:48.000 And as the comments are pointing out, notice how independent and free she is. 0.80

01:53:52.000 Oh, it's an interesting twist on the male porn we watch. 0.99

01:53:57.000 Seeing feminists destroy themselves. 0.99

01:54:00.000 I am a car dweller or van lifer, right?

01:54:04.000 There's like four things that have to happen to be like officially initiated.

01:54:08.000 Maybe you go a few days on end without a shower.

01:54:10.000 You eat a meal with a fork you got off the floor that you never washed.

01:54:15.000 Somebody tried to give you their spare change.

01:54:18.000 All these have happened.

01:54:20.000 And finally, the knock.

01:54:25.000 Wow, that was crazy.

01:54:26.000 So needless to say, we left Walmart and we're going to avoid that security guard at all costs.

01:54:32.000 So now Cracker Barrel is here to save the day.

01:54:35.000 Love Cracker Barrel.

01:54:36.000 All right, we're going to try this again.

01:54:41.000 After setting up yet again, it was almost time to go to bed.

01:54:48.000 Stay tuned for next week as we accidentally end up in some amazing places and some pretty sticky situations.

01:54:54.000 Thanks for watching.

01:54:55.000 Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, share with your friends.

01:54:58.000 Is this kind of fake though? 0.99

01:55:00.000 There's one other chick who does shit like that. 1.00

01:55:02.000 It's called Unstoppable Morgan. 1.00

01:55:03.000 She lives in like a Ford Bronco. 0.99

01:55:05.000 Like, she's a severe alcoholic and she tries to stay off the wagon, but always falls off and fucks up. 0.99

01:55:12.000 But they do this by choice. 0.97

01:55:14.000 They're making...

01:55:15.000 Yeah, if she's making like $40,000 to $50,000 a month off YouTube. 1.00

01:55:19.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:55:20.000 You're not homeless. 1.00

01:55:21.000 You're not poor.

01:55:23.000 They're not making that much.

01:55:24.000 With 160,000 subscribers, it's not that much at all.

01:55:29.000 Well, she's making money. 1.00

01:55:31.000 If I had a video that made 13 million, had 13 million hits, and it made like 30 grand.

01:55:40.000 So how much of her videos?

01:55:42.000 That's unstoppable Morgan.

01:55:44.000 41,000. 1.00

01:55:46.000 She makes tons of money off this fucking shit. 1.00

01:55:50.000 And it's just like the biggest pity party. 1.00

01:55:52.000 But if I was single, I'd just be like, you can stay at my house.

01:55:56.000 Oh, she stops every now and then and does a couple, some work on her trucks and, you know. 0.76

01:56:01.000 Gets banged. 1.00

01:56:02.000 And then she fucks him. 1.00

01:56:03.000 I got to run. 1.00

01:56:04.000 She runs from everything.

01:56:05.000 She's a runner. 0.99

01:56:06.000 Joe Aloya, when are we going to see Michael Mouse and Gavin McInnis spelled wrong debate?

01:56:12.000 I don't like Michael Mouse. 0.99

01:56:13.000 He talks shit about me. 0.99

01:56:14.000 I helped discover him. 0.99

01:56:16.000 I was always nothing but nice to him. 0.99

01:56:18.000 And then I found he's been constantly talking shit about me. 0.98

01:56:20.000 This is before I allegedly shoved him. 0.99

01:56:22.000 Okay, I shoved him.

01:56:25.000 That's why I shoved him. 1.00

01:56:26.000 Because I was like, fuck you, dude. 1.00

01:56:27.000 I've been nothing but cool to you, and you're talking shit all the time. 1.00

01:56:31.000 So he's dead to me. 0.98

01:56:33.000 Are you going to have Tommy on?

01:56:34.000 Yeah.

01:56:35.000 He has a doc coming on the 29th.

01:56:36.000 Yes, we should definitely get to that.

01:56:39.000 And I keep saying all these journalists who constantly, obsessively monitor the Proud Boys and make spreadsheets about what they did on Thursday and what they ate.

01:56:50.000 And then you look at Tommy Robinson and he's making spreadsheets on all the different groomers and who they've raped and what are the patterns here and who are the leaders and who are the soldiers?

01:57:01.000 I mean, he has the whole structure of these grooming gangs mapped out. 0.75

01:57:04.000 This is an amateur journalist who's just figuring it out as he goes along, and he's preventing children from being raped.

01:57:12.000 And what are you guys doing?

01:57:13.000 I think someone was friends with someone who was talking about possibly being at the insurrection.

01:57:18.000 Okay.

01:57:20.000 Good work.

01:57:21.000 Here's someone who's anti-mandate.

01:57:24.000 Okay.

01:57:25.000 Wonderful.

01:57:28.000 This is a pretty good either or. 0.98

01:57:32.000 What's more gay? 0.99

01:57:33.000 Dreading to have to do a prostate exam but ending up loving it? 0.99

01:57:36.000 Or really looking forward to a prostate exam but ending up hating it?

01:57:41.000 Hmm. 1.00

01:57:42.000 I guess the second one's more gay. 0.99

01:57:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:44.000 You're allowed to have nerve endings in your butthole. 1.00

01:57:47.000 I mean, what guy hasn't had a girl suck his dick and stick her finger up your arm? 1.00

01:57:52.000 I don't mind it. 1.00

01:57:53.000 What kind of amateurs are out there? 0.68

01:57:55.000 It's not the kind of thing your wife does. 1.00

01:57:57.000 No, I mean, married women are not huge anal players. 1.00

01:58:00.000 There has to be at least a few girls who blew you and stuck her finger up your arms. 1.00

01:58:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:58:04.000 I remember one time when I lived in Greenpoint.

01:58:08.000 Brooklyn. 1.00

01:58:09.000 This girl was sucking me off, and then she goes licks the balls. 1.00

01:58:13.000 Okay, great. 1.00

01:58:13.000 Then she goes south of the balls and starts eating my ass like I'm a chick. 1.00

01:58:19.000 And I'm like, oh, maybe if I'd had a warning, I could have got some Clorox bleaches down there. 1.00

01:58:24.000 But I don't know if you want to go there.

01:58:26.000 We love it.

01:58:28.000 Hey, dudes, I'm 24.

01:58:29.000 Generally, don't see a future in this country.

01:58:30.000 Straight white men, especially straight white libertarian man, are being demonized more and more each and every day.

01:58:36.000 I don't want to raise my future children in a country that despises them. 0.99

01:58:39.000 I've been fighting this bullshit for years, but I don't have hopes it will get better. 1.00

01:58:42.000 Am I just a pussy? 1.00

01:58:43.000 Yes, you're a pussy. 1.00

01:58:45.000 Just fuck a chick, knock her up. 1.00

01:58:47.000 Yes, New York is bad. 1.00

01:58:49.000 There's plenty of places where America is still America.

01:58:52.000 The vast majority, I would say.

01:58:55.000 Los Angeles, New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Chicago.

01:59:02.000 They're all done.

01:59:04.000 But those are just a bunch of red cities.

01:59:07.000 All right, we got to wrap it up here.

01:59:08.000 How we been doing...

01:59:09.000 Have you seen Sam Hyde's documentary gaslighting YouTube cuck pals with H3 and iDubbs?

01:59:16.000 Who's iDubbs?

01:59:17.000 I keep hearing about Sam Hyde and iDubbbbs.

01:59:19.000 Some YouTuber guy who did it.

01:59:20.000 He was planning to do a documentary and then he won't release the footage.

01:59:24.000 And it looks fucking awesome.

01:59:25.000 So Sam, you know, he's like, no hard feelings, but I'm going to release the footage because we fucking set up a whole, we made our whole world interesting and insane. 0.80

01:59:34.000 So when you come here, it's like Charlie's Chocolate Factory.

01:59:36.000 Oh, I saw some of the things they were setting up.

01:59:39.000 Like they'll keep wrestling each other, but they're going to call it boxing.

01:59:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:45.000 Dude, they did so many fun things.

01:59:47.000 They went to go shoot guns. 0.99

01:59:48.000 They fucking had a sit-down interview part. 1.00

01:59:52.000 Then they had the whole office, each playing a different role. 0.99

01:59:56.000 They hired a chick to shave her head, act like she was Sam's girlfriend, and she was like on meth. 1.00

02:00:00.000 She was like cracked out, or maybe crack. 1.00

02:00:03.000 And she was like, hey, man.

02:00:04.000 But she wasn't.

02:00:05.000 She was an actor.

02:00:06.000 Mikey.

02:00:07.000 But she did such a good job. 0.82

02:00:08.000 So is iDubbs a lefty?

02:00:13.000 I actually did a little research, but I couldn't find anything overtly political.

02:00:17.000 But they had, here's the thing that iDubbs brought up as if it was a smoking gun.

02:00:23.000 That they had an interaction in the past that was lightly rude.

02:00:27.000 I don't want to spoil it, but you should. 1.00

02:00:30.000 He's the guy on crazy shit.com that appears and says, you're a whore. 1.00

02:00:36.000 Huh. 1.00

02:00:38.000 Oh, they want to know if in hot water possible.

02:00:44.000 That's a good sign that we've run out of things to say.

02:00:48.000 So how much money did we raise for Max and John?

02:00:50.000 That I would have to go into the things and check it out.

02:00:54.000 Our tech guys have a back end.

02:00:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:59.000 Okay, that we can.

02:01:00.000 So can you ask him?

02:01:00.000 Shall I ask him?

02:01:01.000 What?

02:01:02.000 Yeah, I'm going to clear these out if you could ask him that.

02:01:04.000 Will there be another episode of Girl Talk tomorrow?

02:01:06.000 Also, can we get a Miss Maddie as a guest sometime? 0.72

02:01:09.000 Tomorrow we will not be doing Girl Talk.

02:01:11.000 It's really hard to get those girls talking about.

02:01:13.000 Judging by Maddie's face, I'm going to guess that's a no.

02:01:18.000 Yeah.

02:01:19.000 We'll get the gals together again at some point. 1.00

02:01:22.000 Jesse Lee, I have a problem with my mom. 0.96

02:01:24.000 She used to be mean to me as a kid, losing my virginity at 22. 0.97

02:01:27.000 I think it's hurting my relationships.

02:01:28.000 Could I be a baiter?

02:01:30.000 Well, yeah, you do have to forgive your mother because if you live without forgiveness.

02:01:37.000 I just texted our guy and said, what's the total?

02:01:41.000 I think that's important for people. 0.96

02:01:43.000 You know, you don't want to just throw money into a big fucking hole in Kazakhstan that's on fire. 0.99

02:01:49.000 That's right. 0.99

02:01:50.000 In fact, I'd like it if we had a toll here.

02:01:54.000 Chessee Boudin, pronounced Boudin, not Baudin.

02:01:59.000 Also, where did Jesse Lee Peterson go?

02:02:01.000 I'd love to hear his opinion.

02:02:02.000 Well, he's been here all night, dude.

02:02:03.000 Yeah.

02:02:04.000 It's as long as you've been off this house.

02:02:06.000 Well, for Lent, I go whatever that is, 40 days.

02:02:09.000 I drink beer, but that's not coming up in March, right? 1.00

02:02:13.000 Shit, yeah. 0.99

02:02:14.000 It's always right during vacation time. 1.00

02:02:17.000 So I'm in like fucking Barbados having a bud light. 0.94

02:02:23.000 One time I just shifted it. 0.96

02:02:25.000 I don't know how God feels about that, but I just went like after vacation.

02:02:29.000 You nudged.

02:02:30.000 I just don't let anyone offer you a shot.

02:02:34.000 It's temptation.

02:02:35.000 George Brett.

02:02:36.000 If somebody offers you a shot, you can't say no.

02:02:38.000 You have to do it.

02:02:39.000 Yeah.

02:02:40.000 George Brett's face with the word water would be a good shirt.

02:02:42.000 Yeah, we got to make more shirts.

02:02:44.000 That's on my to-do list.

02:02:47.000 Are you adding them all up?

02:02:49.000 No.

02:02:49.000 Okay.

02:02:51.000 We should show George Brett in this pine tar fight, though.

02:02:56.000 You can't show George Brett.

02:02:57.000 Joey Martin?

02:02:58.000 Yeah.

02:02:59.000 He goes.

02:02:59.000 That was great.

02:03:00.000 Like, Pine Tar can be...

02:03:02.000 You can have Pine Tar on your bat about as wide as home plate.

02:03:05.000 Can't be longer than home plate.

02:03:06.000 But his was like six inches over.

02:03:08.000 And they go, waiting on that. 0.98

02:03:10.000 We might kill your win because it was over. 1.00

02:03:13.000 And George Brett goes, if they fucking kill our win because of a quarter inch of pine tar, I'm going to fucking lose it. 0.99

02:03:23.000 Billy Martin was the best. 0.99

02:03:26.000 That's when men played baseball.

02:03:28.000 He loses it.

02:03:29.000 That was clearly the golden years of baseball.

02:03:32.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:32.000 Like NFL, too.

02:03:33.000 Back then, you'd be.

02:03:34.000 Doc Ellis pitching a no-hitter on LSD.

02:03:37.000 I mean, come on.

02:03:38.000 It's hard to compete.

02:03:39.000 The book about the Mets winning the World Series is called When the Bad Guys Won.

02:03:45.000 They're conceding that they were the bad guys.

02:03:49.000 Okay, quickly, Ryan.

02:03:50.000 Win at all costs.

02:03:51.000 We're in overtime here.

02:03:53.000 Okay, baby.

02:03:55.000 Someone's asking if your dad is Jack McGee.

02:04:04.000 Yeah, there we go.

02:04:05.000 Pine Tar incident.

02:04:06.000 You may have to jump ahead.

02:04:13.000 That's the old Yankee Stadium.

02:04:15.000 Who cares if the Pine Tar is going a quarter inch too high?

02:04:21.000 And Nettles is leaving the field as if the game is over.

02:04:23.000 Greg Nettles.

02:04:41.000 I swear to God.

02:04:42.000 Kansas City was a cool team, too, because in the old days, a lot of the people were from Kansas City.

02:04:47.000 Yeah.

02:04:49.000 Well, Kansas City, Kansas is Kansas City, Missouri.

02:04:52.000 Missouri, I believe.

02:04:54.000 It's two Kansas Cities.

02:04:56.000 Right.

02:04:57.000 But this is Kansas City Royals, right?

02:04:58.000 Are they from Missouri?

02:04:59.000 I'm not 100%.

02:05:00.000 To be honest with you, I've never really thought about it.

02:05:05.000 Whose idea was it to have two Kansas cities? 0.99

02:05:08.000 So right now, George Brad is like, I swear to fucking God. 0.99

02:05:12.000 God help me. 1.00

02:05:14.000 If they pull this pine tar bullshit. 0.99

02:05:26.000 The issue is if you have pine tar up above that length of it, it's on the barrel of the bat. 0.99

02:05:31.000 You can hit the ball.

02:05:32.000 The ball adheres to the bat more.

02:05:36.000 That would be worse for you.

02:05:37.000 No, instead of the ball, say if you're high on the bat, the ball would flip up high in the air.

02:05:44.000 It'd be like a pop-up.

02:05:46.000 But with that, it's going to not let it flip.

02:05:53.000 He gives it more adhesive for the ball to make contact with the barrel of the bat.

02:06:00.000 Oh, they were playing the Yankees.

02:06:02.000 Yeah, it's the Yankees. 1.00

02:06:04.000 It's the Yankees who are probably pushing this shit. 1.00

02:06:06.000 Billy Martin, right? 1.00

02:06:07.000 Number one.

02:06:08.000 That's the manager. 1.00

02:06:11.000 He's a guy who's famous for kicking fucking dirt across all plate and everything. 1.00

02:06:14.000 He would get in the fucking umps. 1.00

02:06:16.000 Oh, Billy Martin was the best. 0.99

02:06:19.000 I mean, he was a player, too.

02:06:22.000 He looks like such a snitch, right?

02:06:25.000 He's going to go tell the mom.

02:06:26.000 Now they're going to measure it across home plate.

02:06:31.000 I've never seen this.

02:06:32.000 I never have either.

02:06:33.000 I never have either. 1.00

02:06:35.000 Can we just see George Brett lose his shit? 1.00

02:06:36.000 I want to go home. 1.00

02:06:37.000 He's going to lose it.

02:06:40.000 God, Brian.

02:06:42.000 Look at that face.

02:06:44.000 You guys see him come off the bench. 1.00

02:06:46.000 That's the man who shits his pants. 1.00

02:06:51.000 He's got tobacco in his mouth. 0.99

02:06:54.000 He is out.

02:06:56.000 And having to be forcibly restrained from hitting light on fire Tim McClellan.

02:07:03.000 Best man alive.

02:07:13.000 Like I said, I have seen this before, Frank.

02:07:16.000 And Gamehard Parents.

02:07:18.000 Great stuff.

02:07:19.000 Nice.

02:07:19.000 You know, we have an update.

02:07:21.000 Okay.

02:07:22.000 $930. 1.00

02:07:23.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:07:25.000 Beautiful, baby. 1.00

02:07:26.000 Ryan, you're wrong, by the way.

02:07:29.000 Look what he did.

02:07:30.000 He put the dollar sign on the wrong side.

02:07:34.000 Thank you.

02:07:34.000 It's a little dig to the boss, man.

02:07:36.000 Ryan, you're 100% off.

02:07:39.000 Somebody, they said $600 worth has been paid, but now it's $9.40.

02:07:45.000 It's $1,501.

02:07:49.000 Okay, well, I'm getting from our other tech guy.

02:07:51.000 Who?

02:07:51.000 $740.

02:07:52.000 I'm getting it from our main tech guy.

02:07:54.000 Oh, okay.

02:07:56.000 Who are you?

02:07:56.000 Who's our other tech guy?

02:07:58.000 It's a guy.

02:08:00.000 I'm getting it from the guy who has similar genetics to my wife.

02:08:05.000 I see.

02:08:06.000 Okay.

02:08:07.000 Who are you getting it from?

02:08:09.000 A guy that helps that guy when, let's say, he may be. 1.00

02:08:12.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

02:08:12.000 We're at the top here. 1.00

02:08:13.000 FTG. 1.00

02:08:14.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

02:08:15.000 You're talking to his assistant. 1.00

02:08:16.000 I'm talking to the guy.

02:08:17.000 Okay.

02:08:18.000 1501.

02:08:19.000 Nice.

02:08:20.000 And furthermore, I'm personally liable if it's not 1501.

02:08:25.000 So if Ryan's right, which he isn't, I will close the gap.

02:08:28.000 The number is 1501.

02:08:30.000 Stop doing that.

02:08:33.000 We raised $1,500 for Max and John tonight.

02:08:37.000 That's $750 each to them.

02:08:40.000 Thank you so much for contributing.

02:08:43.000 I didn't like super chats.

02:08:44.000 I do when it's for those guys.

02:08:46.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:08:54.000 Music.

02:10:20.000 It will be done.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 14, 2022

GOML LIVE #131

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