Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 28, 2022


GOML LIVE #133 - FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 3 minutes

Words per Minute

165.61394

Word Count

20,434

Sentence Count

2,265

Misogynist Sentences

141

Hate Speech Sentences

98


Summary

Maddie O'Dell's blood pressure drops to a dangerously low 76/46, and she's in the hospital with a blood clot in her head. Meanwhile, Ryan and Kevin try to figure out if it's a good or bad thing that Maddie's pants are too short, and that she's wearing them in front of a live audience.


Transcript

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off My Walk with Kevin McGuinness.
00:00:33.000 Singing software I'm talking about, man, skin in my face.
00:00:44.000 Southern man don't need him around anyhow.
00:00:50.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn Live.
00:00:53.000 We're here with Maddie O'Dell, who just escaped death today.
00:00:57.000 Yeah, I'm here.
00:00:58.000 What was your blood pressure?
00:01:00.000 76 over 46 today at 2 o'clock this afternoon.
00:01:05.000 That sounds pretty bad.
00:01:06.000 Yeah, it's hypotension.
00:01:09.000 Hypotension.
00:01:10.000 Yeah, it's opposite of hypertension, which is high blood pressure.
00:01:14.000 But that's because my left ventricle doesn't pump enough blood to meet...
00:01:21.000 Why are you setting all this shit up now, Ryan?
00:01:24.000 Ryan, get over here.
00:01:26.000 You need to show the studio audience what the fuck you're wearing.
00:01:31.000 You have skin-tight, booty short jeans.
00:01:36.000 Are they jeans?
00:01:39.000 Are they jeans or Lululemon leggings?
00:01:41.000 Like, put on the big camera and...
00:01:44.000 What the fuck are you wearing, dude?
00:01:46.000 And you can wear Timberland sarcastically at a Halloween party, but you keep wearing them.
00:01:53.000 Okay, I wasn't going to suggest this.
00:01:55.000 I was going to do camera three, but what the fuck are you doing now?
00:01:58.000 Stop, stop, stop.
00:01:59.000 Look at his pants.
00:02:02.000 Did you have to use butter to put those over your thighs?
00:02:05.000 That's not even gay.
00:02:07.000 Like, I don't think gays would wear that.
00:02:09.000 I'm just going to say that.
00:02:10.000 I'm so gay.
00:02:12.000 Oh, boy.
00:02:14.000 And how do you feel about those pants?
00:02:16.000 Fun.
00:02:16.000 Did you, like, get muscular and those are your old pants or something?
00:02:19.000 You have enough money to buy new pants?
00:02:21.000 Now I have big, big, thick.
00:02:23.000 Big quads?
00:02:24.000 And a fat Puerto Rican woman's ass.
00:02:28.000 You're bootylicious.
00:02:31.000 You got them apple-bottom jeans.
00:02:32.000 And he's wearing long johns.
00:02:33.000 Are you wearing long johns?
00:02:35.000 Why are you wearing long johns?
00:02:38.000 It's a glorious calf.
00:02:40.000 It looks like a half.
00:02:41.000 Oh, God.
00:02:43.000 Who knew?
00:02:44.000 You know, when we were kids, we called everyone a fag, and who knew that would become a compliment compared to what we were surrounded by?
00:02:51.000 Yeah, we're live streaming this show for the first half hour, and then we go behind the paywall to punish those who don't subscribe to censored.tv for $10 a month.
00:03:02.000 Really, it's less than two beers a month, depending where you live.
00:03:05.000 If you're drinking at the Legion, I guess it's like four beers a month.
00:03:09.000 But it's a fantastic deal, unlimited entertainment every single day.
00:03:16.000 We've got Laura Loomer.
00:03:19.000 We have a lot of people that aren't on the network anymore, but we still have all their shit.
00:03:24.000 So Candace Owens and Cornell West and Dinesh D'Souza and Milo Yiannopoulos and Laura Loomer and all these jive turkeys.
00:03:34.000 I'm also getting a hold of all my old shows from the Gavin McInnes show, the show that discovered the Proud Boys.
00:03:41.000 So we'll be uploading those shortly.
00:03:45.000 But before we get started with the show, we'd like to thank Tactical Walls, vet-owned sponsor, made in America.
00:03:52.000 These walls started out as, actually, the whole thing started with just a mirror that's set into the wall.
00:03:58.000 You had to cut into the drywall, avoid the studs, which is what my wife did when she was looking for a husband.
00:04:07.000 And you open that up and all your long guns are in there, right?
00:04:11.000 But the thieves are too stupid to figure that out.
00:04:14.000 Then he gets into like shelving that you double click and the shelf drops down and your Moss burger's there.
00:04:20.000 And then he got into the tissue box where he calls it an issue box and there's your handgun in there.
00:04:25.000 And then he started making these walls, these tactical walls where you can beautifully display all of your guns in your panic room.
00:04:34.000 Or, you know, if you're in the South, it's just in your room room.
00:04:37.000 This is, of course, a terrible example of tactical walls because we're not allowed guns here in the South Bronx.
00:04:44.000 But we use it to just like hang our coats and shit.
00:04:48.000 But you can use it for other stuff.
00:04:49.000 Like there's a, you, you, kids into baseball, they display their bats and all their gear is on that, their gloves and everything.
00:04:57.000 The possibilities are endless.
00:04:59.000 They've got it in the back of Jeeps where you drive around and you have the back of your Jeep is all set up with gear.
00:05:04.000 So when you open the back door, everything is all set up there.
00:05:08.000 It really, I mean, just go to the site, tacticalwalls.com.
00:05:12.000 If you use the code Gavin15, you get 15% off all orders.
00:05:18.000 20% off.
00:05:19.000 Well, no, it's 15%.
00:05:21.000 I think I was wrong last week.
00:05:22.000 Oh, you were wrong last week.
00:05:23.000 Oh, shit.
00:05:24.000 So it's made in America by American Patriots for American Patriots.
00:05:27.000 And you've got to remember, when you see them sponsoring this show, they're getting in shit.
00:05:33.000 So this isn't just a normal sponsor like when you see Haagendaz do a promo at Coney Island.
00:05:40.000 This is someone who was brave enough to stand up to the lunatic leftist mob and continue to support us almost since day one.
00:05:47.000 This guy's been around forever.
00:05:49.000 I must say, Tactical Tim is a ride or die sponsor.
00:05:52.000 Yeah.
00:05:53.000 Ride or die, baby.
00:05:54.000 He's not fucking around.
00:05:55.000 I don't know.
00:05:57.000 I had him here.
00:05:58.000 Yeah, he was here.
00:06:00.000 He watched the fights.
00:06:01.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:02.000 He took all our money.
00:06:03.000 He beat us in the bets.
00:06:05.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:05.000 Holy shit.
00:06:06.000 He body mailed us.
00:06:07.000 He got me for like 80 bucks.
00:06:09.000 Who did he bet on again?
00:06:11.000 Well, there was multiple fights.
00:06:12.000 So we would bet on different fighters throughout the night.
00:06:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:15.000 And he fucking took all our money.
00:06:16.000 What was the big fight that night?
00:06:18.000 Oh.
00:06:20.000 Was that a Jake fight?
00:06:22.000 Oh, fuck.
00:06:23.000 I don't know.
00:06:23.000 Probably.
00:06:24.000 Oh, if it was, it had to be horrible.
00:06:26.000 I remember there were some female fights, right?
00:06:30.000 Or like two queeb-looking guys with weird Joker hair, and you guys would bet on Joker, and then he bet.
00:06:36.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:38.000 The undercards were all way better than the actual fights.
00:06:41.000 That guy's a liar.
00:06:42.000 All of those fights are fake.
00:06:44.000 That's in what censored presents.
00:06:46.000 Yeah.
00:06:46.000 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to have to go double-check and see what fights we were watching.
00:06:49.000 I mean, we've watched fights with Cousin Eddie and a bunch of other fights.
00:06:55.000 I call bullshit on all of the Jake Paul fights.
00:06:58.000 Oh.
00:06:59.000 I think you name the round.
00:07:01.000 He tells them round eight.
00:07:02.000 And Floyd Mayweather desperately tries to not knock him out.
00:07:08.000 He accidentally knocked him out.
00:07:09.000 He had a clause in the contract that he wasn't allowed to knock Jake Paul out.
00:07:13.000 Right, right, right.
00:07:15.000 But he did anyway by accident.
00:07:17.000 Yeah.
00:07:18.000 But then I guess Floyd Mayweather, did he lose to Jake Paul?
00:07:22.000 Was it Mayweather?
00:07:24.000 Yeah.
00:07:24.000 It wasn't.
00:07:26.000 And then there was the last fight where you see him going with his gloves.
00:07:31.000 And then Tyrone Woodley's got his hands up, and as soon as he starts to come with his overhand right, he drops his hand.
00:07:38.000 And if you look at his face, he drops his hand and he goes like this.
00:07:42.000 He winces like, here it comes.
00:07:46.000 Here comes my million bucks.
00:07:48.000 I was just like, no, good.
00:07:50.000 So fucking bad.
00:07:52.000 Yeah.
00:07:53.000 But, I mean.
00:07:55.000 That's the sport.
00:07:56.000 We left it open to those kind of cheats.
00:07:59.000 It's had honor in the past.
00:08:00.000 It's been a blue-collar sport forever.
00:08:02.000 And it's had honor.
00:08:03.000 And then these millennial E-celebs go, wait a minute, there's no way to check if you.
00:08:08.000 You got to get the other view of that, Ry.
00:08:10.000 There's another view of, like, looking over Jake Paul's shoulder, like, watching Tyrone Woodley's face.
00:08:16.000 Let's see if it's in this bid.
00:08:20.000 And he literally drops his hand and winces.
00:08:23.000 Watch.
00:08:25.000 Drops the hand.
00:08:25.000 I watched the wince.
00:08:27.000 What the?
00:08:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:29.000 Because he's anticipating it coming.
00:08:31.000 Here it comes every time.
00:08:32.000 Are you kidding me?
00:08:34.000 I mean, Stone Cold knocked him out.
00:08:36.000 But watch.
00:08:37.000 Go back a little bit there, Ry.
00:08:40.000 And watch.
00:08:41.000 He drops his hand.
00:08:42.000 He keeps his other hand up.
00:08:43.000 But watch his face.
00:08:44.000 He kind of turns his head down and closes his eyes.
00:08:48.000 Waiting for the imprudes.
00:08:50.000 Watch.
00:08:51.000 Drop the hand.
00:08:53.000 There it is.
00:08:54.000 Yep.
00:08:54.000 He went like this to anticipate it.
00:08:57.000 Come on, man.
00:08:58.000 Come on, man.
00:08:59.000 Come on, man.
00:09:01.000 Come on.
00:09:02.000 You don't let me hit you.
00:09:03.000 You're not black.
00:09:06.000 But you know what I mean about boxing?
00:09:08.000 I mean, the guys found a hole and they drove a truck through it.
00:09:15.000 So these, it's Jake Paul, and what's the other guy's name?
00:09:18.000 That was Woodley.
00:09:19.000 That was Tyrone Woodley.
00:09:20.000 No, but Jake Paul, the other Paul brother, also does this.
00:09:23.000 Oh, Logan Paul.
00:09:24.000 Yeah, and they thought, we have this e-celebrity status.
00:09:26.000 It's all about clicks.
00:09:28.000 So let's have fake fights and we'll make millions of dollars.
00:09:32.000 We'll ruin boxing for everyone, but I don't give a fuck about boxing.
00:09:36.000 Let's ruin it.
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:38.000 It's sort of like fishing.
00:09:40.000 Like you see these $10,000 swordfish on the wall at the hotel.
00:09:45.000 Yeah, the big marlins.
00:09:47.000 And I'm talking to the guy, and he goes, yeah, what they do is they make a bust of the marlin you catch and then you sell that bust.
00:09:53.000 And I'm like, make 10 busts.
00:09:55.000 Taxidermy can be very expensive.
00:09:58.000 And then go all over the world, all over the world, all over America selling them.
00:10:02.000 And say it's the one bust.
00:10:05.000 So that would be me doing a Jake Paul on fish taxidermy.
00:10:08.000 Because at least with fucking animal taxidermy, you got the hair and everything.
00:10:12.000 Right.
00:10:12.000 Like the bear here, like, that's a plastic or fiberglass mold.
00:10:18.000 Right.
00:10:18.000 But it's got his.
00:10:19.000 But it's definitely the exterior bear.
00:10:21.000 You could fucking peel back the leather.
00:10:23.000 You can't do it.
00:10:23.000 DNA or whatever you do on it, and you could see that it's a real bear.
00:10:26.000 But with the fish, it's totally fabricated.
00:10:28.000 So make some fake fish.
00:10:29.000 You gotta get up there and airbrush it and cheat.
00:10:33.000 You gotta make some fake fish.
00:10:34.000 Well, it's kind of hard to skin a not to skin it, but it's too thin, I guess.
00:10:39.000 There's no way to tan it.
00:10:41.000 You ever try to skin a fucking bear?
00:10:43.000 It's impossible.
00:10:45.000 Wow, you've lost some weight, Jack Black.
00:10:48.000 Looking felt.
00:10:48.000 Going on a diet.
00:10:49.000 Trying to lose a little bit of the weight.
00:10:51.000 Looking felt?
00:10:52.000 Like what's on a pool table?
00:10:53.000 Or svelt.
00:10:55.000 Rock and roll!
00:10:58.000 So you don't know the word svelt is what I'm gathering.
00:11:01.000 I know the word belt, and I'm wearing one right now.
00:11:03.000 At Chaloo, I've got a belt.
00:11:07.000 School of rock.
00:11:08.000 You look totally different as a thin guy.
00:11:10.000 You look like a Mexicano.
00:11:12.000 Thanks.
00:11:13.000 Now, folks listening to the audio, you're probably shocked that we got Jack Black on the show, and you should be, because it was a hell of a get.
00:11:21.000 But he's here.
00:11:23.000 Chalo, you've got a me.
00:11:30.000 So what we do on Thursdays, every day on this show, and I'm speaking to the outsiders now, we go through the news and we make fun of it.
00:11:38.000 It's sort of like Howard Stern meets Tucker Carlson, but with less retards.
00:11:47.000 And Wednesdays we do the show.
00:11:49.000 I go to Anthony Cumius Studio.
00:11:51.000 We do it there.
00:11:52.000 But Thursday nights, just kind of fucking around, fuck.
00:11:56.000 Yeah, we take some super chats.
00:11:57.000 So this is how you do it.
00:11:58.000 You go to the site, right?
00:11:59.000 Here's the website.
00:12:01.000 And I figured we'd walk people through this because some people don't know.
00:12:04.000 So you click the live banner.
00:12:05.000 We're watching live here.
00:12:06.000 You scroll down a little bit, and then it says, donate.
00:12:09.000 Is this like your news voice?
00:12:11.000 I'm trying something else.
00:12:12.000 Okay.
00:12:14.000 So donate to...
00:12:16.000 Well, now I'm self-conscious.
00:12:17.000 Never mind.
00:12:20.000 Wow, you got some thick skin there.
00:12:21.000 Someone notices your voice is a little off.
00:12:24.000 Your job is to make fun of other people's voices, but someone notices yours is 1% different, and you have a complete meltdown and stop talking.
00:12:34.000 He needs a safe space.
00:12:36.000 No wonder we fucking roasted you cocksuckers in World War II.
00:12:41.000 Boom!
00:12:45.000 And for those of you who can't see, Ryan's Jewish.
00:12:47.000 Okay.
00:12:50.000 Yeah.
00:12:51.000 I don't know about roasted.
00:12:53.000 Don't need to read a message on there.
00:12:54.000 You click that little jammy and then you go ahead, you pay for it.
00:12:57.000 So we got paychats, we got calls.
00:12:59.000 These are all things You'd miss because you're cheap.
00:13:01.000 You didn't sign up.
00:13:02.000 Yeah, dick.
00:13:04.000 That's how you get the customers to sign up.
00:13:06.000 You just call them dickheads and cheap asses.
00:13:09.000 No, so there's three things going on tonight.
00:13:12.000 One, we go through the mailbag and we read letters from people.
00:13:16.000 And I've pre-screened all these, so they're all gold.
00:13:19.000 They all have purple flags, Ryan, if you're going through the email.
00:13:25.000 Secondly, we take calls.
00:13:28.000 And then thirdly, we take super chats that people pay for.
00:13:33.000 And that moves you to the front of the line.
00:13:35.000 The super chats go to two political prisoners.
00:13:39.000 I don't take a cent of the super chats.
00:13:41.000 The first one raised $1,500.
00:13:43.000 The second one was a lot less, right?
00:13:45.000 $600 and $200.
00:13:45.000 It was $600.
00:13:46.000 So up to $2,100.
00:13:49.000 And that goes to two political prisoners, Max Hare and John Kinsman, who are currently serving four years for fighting Antifa.
00:13:58.000 Antifa picked a fight with them by throwing a bottle of piss.
00:14:02.000 Max and John obliged, beat the crap out of them, to Antifa's credit.
00:14:08.000 Antifa said, we don't want to press charges.
00:14:11.000 But the idea of throwing MAGA men in jail was too exciting.
00:14:14.000 And de Blasio and Cuomo decided to take it upon themselves to charge them anyway.
00:14:19.000 And so the money will go to their families, to them having some kind of a nest egg when they get out.
00:14:26.000 Obviously, this isn't the only source of income they'll have.
00:14:28.000 We've been raising money for them their entire prison term.
00:14:32.000 All right.
00:14:33.000 A lot of setting up here.
00:14:35.000 But why don't you do the mailbag song, Ryan?
00:14:38.000 Let's hit the mailbag.
00:14:40.000 Let me touch it.
00:14:42.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death.
00:14:47.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:14:52.000 Let me touch it.
00:14:54.000 You know, I was looking at that thinking, I wonder if Katsu, his father, has ever seen that or what he would think.
00:14:59.000 And then I realized he wouldn't give a shit.
00:15:02.000 He might say he doesn't care about it.
00:15:03.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:15:06.000 Right?
00:15:06.000 He might see it and be like, Fricko Gio, Gigok, Fricko Gee.
00:15:14.000 Alrighty then.
00:15:16.000 Okay.
00:15:20.000 Hey, fellas, this seems like something you'd mention on the show if you knew about it.
00:15:23.000 A man in Seattle shoots a 19-year-old girl in the head.
00:15:27.000 Police corner him in a hotel room, but he won't come out.
00:15:30.000 So they give up and go do paperwork.
00:15:33.000 Guy then goes down to Portland and murders two people.
00:15:36.000 And then he includes the archive in case they change it.
00:15:41.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm of two minds about this kind of stuff.
00:15:45.000 You keep telling the police to fuck off.
00:15:47.000 You keep telling them they're useless.
00:15:48.000 You keep suing them.
00:15:51.000 And eventually they just become secretaries, right?
00:15:55.000 But they were called to his hotel room prior too?
00:15:59.000 Yes.
00:16:00.000 And he won't come out.
00:16:02.000 So, you know, in the good old days.
00:16:05.000 Jaywalking or something?
00:16:06.000 What?
00:16:06.000 I think it was domestic violence.
00:16:08.000 Yeah, that's weird because...
00:16:10.000 In the good old days, you just go in and clean up shop, but you can't do that anymore.
00:16:14.000 So cops are going, okay, fine, I won't do my job.
00:16:17.000 Like, what I'm saying is we, as, you know, the left, leftist America, especially up in Portland, said, don't do your job.
00:16:26.000 Do you blame them?
00:16:28.000 They have blood on their hands.
00:16:30.000 Who does?
00:16:32.000 We.
00:16:32.000 The leftists.
00:16:33.000 Yes.
00:16:34.000 Yeah.
00:16:34.000 Media, all these protests.
00:16:36.000 I mean, if I had a kid who was a cop and there was, he called me and goes, dad, this is crazy.
00:16:42.000 It's my first day in the job.
00:16:43.000 And there's some lunatic in a hotel room who won't come out.
00:16:47.000 I go, just file the paperwork and go home.
00:16:50.000 Like, don't be a cowboy.
00:16:52.000 Because it's lose-lose if you're a cowboy.
00:16:56.000 You know, I was talking to a cop buddy here in the Bronx, and I said, Tim Poole keeps getting swatted.
00:17:02.000 People call, can we do a fake SWAT where you come in and you arrest Maddie and I and you like throw us on the ground and stuff?
00:17:10.000 And he goes, are you out of your fucking mind?
00:17:15.000 Wow.
00:17:16.000 He goes, everyone in a 10-mile radius would be fired to death.
00:17:22.000 Like they would nuclear bomb the precinct.
00:17:25.000 And that would be the start.
00:17:26.000 That would be just a quick job.
00:17:27.000 I'd lose my job.
00:17:28.000 My friends would lose their job.
00:17:30.000 The place I get pizza, they'd all lose their job.
00:17:34.000 Pizza.
00:17:35.000 He goes, if this was 2006, I would happily come in and kick over some cameras and fucking throw you up against the wall.
00:17:42.000 I'd enjoy beating the shit out of you.
00:17:45.000 Yeah.
00:17:45.000 But it ain't 2006.
00:17:48.000 No.
00:17:49.000 No, it's crazy, man.
00:17:51.000 And listen, I don't like to talk.
00:17:52.000 Oops.
00:17:54.000 There we go.
00:17:55.000 I don't like to talk about it, but we got swatted again.
00:17:57.000 We had a huge DDoS attack.
00:17:59.000 And for those of you that don't know, that's like a massive hacker thing.
00:18:03.000 And we have security protocol.
00:18:06.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Poole is in the studio.
00:18:08.000 Yeah.
00:18:09.000 Tim, do you support...
00:18:10.000 I noticed you're wearing a Carhartt hat.
00:18:12.000 Are you okay with Carhartt's forced mandates?
00:18:15.000 Well, listen, man.
00:18:16.000 This is what I have to say about that.
00:18:18.000 Look, guys need beanies, okay?
00:18:20.000 Guys like me could use a beanie when they shower, when they sleep, when they go to bed.
00:18:25.000 Okay.
00:18:25.000 Agreed.
00:18:26.000 So if I'm going to rotate them, sure, I'm going to add the Carhartt in there.
00:18:29.000 But I'll tell you what, just to boycott them, I don't wear it outside.
00:18:34.000 But Tam.
00:18:34.000 On camera.
00:18:35.000 Tim.
00:18:36.000 Yes.
00:18:36.000 Are you that guy?
00:18:40.000 You know, I've learned from this?
00:18:42.000 No.
00:18:43.000 I'm not going to say I'm.
00:18:45.000 Speaking of Carhartt and the mandates, I saw one of the craziest articles I've ever seen today.
00:18:50.000 I'll forward it to you, Ryan.
00:18:52.000 It's in Wisconsin, right?
00:18:54.000 And they have these people working on the front lines, the heroes.
00:18:58.000 Healthcare workers.
00:19:00.000 They're told they have to get vaccinated.
00:19:02.000 They go, I'm in great shape.
00:19:04.000 Obviously, my immune system's kicking ass.
00:19:06.000 I've been working with these people for two years and I'm fine.
00:19:10.000 So I don't want the vaccine.
00:19:12.000 I don't think the vaccine's evil, but I don't think I need it.
00:19:15.000 And I don't like that you're forcing me to take something.
00:19:20.000 So they go, well, if you don't take it, you're fired.
00:19:23.000 Okay, I'm fired.
00:19:25.000 And then the hospital gets a notice, these people have a new job.
00:19:28.000 They're working like in northern Wisconsin, where we don't have these mandates.
00:19:33.000 The hospital goes, No, you can't work there.
00:19:38.000 I own your labor.
00:19:41.000 Which, as a baby monster pointed out, is serfdom.
00:19:45.000 Like, you're a slave.
00:19:48.000 If I can't, if you fire me, but I can't work anywhere else, then you own me.
00:19:55.000 Yeah.
00:19:57.000 Wow.
00:19:58.000 Wow.
00:19:58.000 That's like Scientology.
00:20:00.000 It's, yeah.
00:20:01.000 What do they call them?
00:20:01.000 The squirrels or whatever?
00:20:04.000 Theticare requested Thursday that McGinnis temporarily block seven of its employees who had applied for and accepted jobs at Ascension from beginning work there on Monday until the health system could find replacements for them.
00:20:17.000 So they fired these people for not getting the vaccine.
00:20:22.000 And then other people tried to get employment.
00:20:24.000 They said, no, no, no, you can't get employed until I can find someone to replace you.
00:20:29.000 If I'm fired, I'm terminated.
00:20:31.000 It's none of your fucking business.
00:20:33.000 I can blow my head off.
00:20:34.000 Go suck a dick.
00:20:36.000 Yeah.
00:20:37.000 I would be like this.
00:20:38.000 I'd be like.
00:20:39.000 Like the day you gave me my termination, my pink slip, we're done.
00:20:43.000 I'm out of here.
00:20:44.000 Bye.
00:20:46.000 Nothing applies.
00:20:47.000 I mean, it's one thing if you have a contract with non-competes, but these guys are basically freelancers.
00:20:53.000 Bye-bye.
00:20:54.000 Bye, everybody.
00:20:55.000 Bye, Neil Young.
00:20:57.000 Every time I hear Trump say that, I think of Neil Young.
00:21:01.000 It's so great, Neil Young.
00:21:04.000 What is he, 80?
00:21:05.000 Get rid of all of my...
00:21:07.000 Get rid of Joe Rogan or I'm out of here.
00:21:09.000 Bye.
00:21:10.000 Take my catalog down.
00:21:11.000 Bye.
00:21:12.000 I don't think boomers understand that like if you're Fleetwood Mac or Steely Dan or Rush, believe me, you were fucking huge.
00:21:22.000 I'm Gen X. I worshiped you.
00:21:24.000 But you're done now.
00:21:25.000 No one knows who the fuck Neil Young is.
00:21:27.000 You're not carrying any weight.
00:21:29.000 No, and the people who know who he is are like my parents who don't spend anything on anything.
00:21:34.000 I mean, Neil Young had a couple of good songs, but for the most part, his music was horrible.
00:21:40.000 And he's also.
00:21:41.000 In my opinion, you know, not the biggest fan of him.
00:21:44.000 Never get to be cool.
00:21:48.000 Who's a Johnny Rotten?
00:21:51.000 This is the story of Johnny Rotten.
00:21:56.000 All right, next.
00:21:57.000 Are we taking calls to Rye Guy?
00:22:00.000 Yeah, we are, but not yet.
00:22:02.000 I think we get behind the paywall.
00:22:04.000 Because it's like, you know, you could call theoretically, but then it's like, you know, who am I talking to?
00:22:10.000 Oh, so you don't want to give out the number for people to call in because non-subscribers would do it.
00:22:17.000 I hadn't thought about that, but that's very smart, too.
00:22:20.000 Wait, okay, so then what's your logic?
00:22:22.000 Well, they don't deserve to hear the calls.
00:22:24.000 Yeah, they do, because we're trying to sell the show.
00:22:28.000 And so we want to show the Cheapskates all the different things we do, from super chats to calls to everything.
00:22:34.000 You know, I'm all over YouTube ever since I said, go ahead and rape this show to death as long as you keep the clips short, like 12 minutes or so.
00:22:44.000 And then like five different channels are doing it, and it's no problem, which is curious.
00:22:53.000 Because they're probably non-monetized.
00:22:55.000 They're probably non-monetized, but why is YouTube allowing it?
00:22:58.000 And I remember Ezra Levant wanted to rehire me after I got fired from Blaze, but he said, can I rehire you as Miles?
00:23:04.000 And I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever.
00:23:06.000 Fuck, I don't have anything else going on.
00:23:07.000 I'm fired.
00:23:08.000 And so he contacted the lawyers at YouTube and they said, no, you cannot run Miles because it's still Gavin McInnes.
00:23:15.000 So I was completely blackballed, right?
00:23:17.000 So why are they allowing these other guys to give our content out in small doses?
00:23:22.000 I believe that they think it's hurting me.
00:23:26.000 It sounds like megalomania.
00:23:28.000 I understand that.
00:23:29.000 But I think they think it's hurting the channel.
00:23:32.000 So they're like, yeah, that's hurting them.
00:23:33.000 That'll do.
00:23:34.000 Yeah, I got a few phone calls from personal friends that said, oh, I saw you on YouTube.
00:23:38.000 I was like, really?
00:23:39.000 It's like, I could care less where people see me.
00:23:43.000 You know, I'm uncancelable.
00:23:45.000 I can't get canceled.
00:23:47.000 You know, unfortunately, we have an offender.
00:23:49.000 Okay.
00:23:50.000 Now, listen, Gavin Shorts, I've seen your clips.
00:23:52.000 You do great stuff.
00:23:54.000 But this whole 40 minutes, 42 minutes.
00:23:58.000 Well, thanks for advertising it, Ryan.
00:23:59.000 That was prudent.
00:24:00.000 These are a bit lengthy.
00:24:01.000 And so I know you're watching.
00:24:02.000 And can you please keep them within a normal time frame?
00:24:06.000 Our show is only so long.
00:24:08.000 But if they, what do they have, like 400 views?
00:24:10.000 That doesn't matter.
00:24:12.000 4,000 views for the 40-minute clip.
00:24:15.000 That's not nothing.
00:24:18.000 Chilloo.
00:24:20.000 So it's...
00:24:21.000 Oh, it's only 9.25.
00:24:22.000 That clock is fast.
00:24:24.000 Oh, you put batteries in it.
00:24:26.000 I got a lot of letters about people getting divorced, dude.
00:24:30.000 Ever since I did that long, deep dive about that couple who was giving up after four kids and they're only in their early 20s.
00:24:38.000 But I'll get to them.
00:24:40.000 I hope I get to them.
00:24:42.000 But the pattern here I've noticed is totally flippant behavior.
00:24:47.000 Not he was a professor and he'd been fucking in this student for four years and they're madly in love and they're eloping to Barcelona.
00:24:56.000 This was like she started working from home and she became bitchy and she said she needed time for her own mental health.
00:25:02.000 So I gave her that by taking the kids away and now she has her, she stays at like her sister's house and you're like, wait, what the fuck happened?
00:25:10.000 Yeah, that's there was no reason for that.
00:25:13.000 Or he was working out of the gym and his trainer and him got along and now they're fucking and she's a five, but she's 10 years younger than his wife.
00:25:22.000 And you're like, wow, what a great reason to destroy your children's lives.
00:25:27.000 Yeah, but if he's not getting it at home because the wife is staying in her sister's house banging someone else, he's got needs too.
00:25:34.000 Those are two separate stories.
00:25:36.000 Oh, oh.
00:25:37.000 The common thread here is the kids are not a concern.
00:25:41.000 And I'm just not happy.
00:25:46.000 I'm just.
00:25:47.000 Narcissism.
00:25:48.000 I want to try something else.
00:25:49.000 Me, me, me, me.
00:25:50.000 Sex is like not a big deal.
00:25:52.000 Divorce is like not a big deal.
00:25:54.000 I think what happens, too, is the woman will start the workforce.
00:25:58.000 She'll be with other divorced Women, and they start pissing in her ear, saying, You got it.
00:26:04.000 We went out last night, it was so fun.
00:26:06.000 We got super fucking wasted, you guys.
00:26:09.000 And then she starts getting brainwashed.
00:26:12.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:26:14.000 Last letter before we hide: Dear G. Dizzle, Ryge, and Maddo.
00:26:23.000 I was sick for a little over a week and gave me a chance to catch up on GML.
00:26:26.000 I don't care.
00:26:29.000 You were talking about pit bulls, and you said they're just victims of a bad narrative.
00:26:33.000 Now, we know Maddie is a big pit bull owner and fan, so we disagree on this.
00:26:40.000 And one of your callers mentioned that Dalmatians and poodles are not only more aggressive, but they are higher on the list of yearly dog bites and incidents and attacks.
00:26:52.000 This not only came off as an extremely disingenuous argument to me, but to make it much more interesting, he stated that with a healthy amount of arrogance as if he was schooling you.
00:27:02.000 Well, that's true of that entire generation.
00:27:05.000 I've noticed this with the millennials.
00:27:06.000 Whenever they send a letter, they go, yeah, what's actually happening is your pupils are dilating.
00:27:11.000 And fuck off.
00:27:13.000 Speak with such conviction and condescending attitudes.
00:27:16.000 Especially medical shit.
00:27:17.000 Yeah, well, the reason you got a hemorrhoid is when you're working out, you're pushing too hard and the capillaries.
00:27:22.000 And you know, they just checked it out on Wikipedia.
00:27:26.000 We used to do that.
00:27:27.000 MMD.
00:27:28.000 Yeah.
00:27:29.000 As kids, we didn't know anything.
00:27:31.000 Like, I'm talking about 18, 19.
00:27:33.000 And so you'd listen to your dad, and your dad would go like, the thing about fucking money is that you keep printing it, and it's no infinite.
00:27:42.000 You know, it's just going to cause inflation.
00:27:43.000 Nothing's free.
00:27:44.000 And you're like, nothing's free, actually.
00:27:47.000 They keep printing money and it's causing serious inflation.
00:27:52.000 And the girls you're talking to don't go, what kind of inflation?
00:27:56.000 What percent?
00:27:57.000 You just go, it's really bad.
00:28:00.000 Anyway, the new equivalent of that, the dad is the internet.
00:28:03.000 So now they just look something up and fucking.
00:28:06.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.
00:28:08.000 What he conveniently doesn't mention is that the amount of damage a pit bull typically does is exponentially worse than a fucking poodle.
00:28:16.000 This is a fact that all pit bull advocates seemingly gloss over like it's nothing.
00:28:21.000 I feel like a fag writing a letter about it, but I'm just so exhausted from watching what seems to be every arrogant retard in the universe writing the show to correct you, only to be refuted by you and Harpy.
00:28:30.000 I'm embarrassed by my fellow millennials, blah, blah, blah.
00:28:36.000 Anyway.
00:28:36.000 The strongest, some of the strongest dogs, that doesn't mean they're necessarily the most aggressive.
00:28:41.000 So although there are stronger dogs, maybe they don't bite as much.
00:28:46.000 Thanks, Ryan.
00:28:47.000 What a great input.
00:28:48.000 Did you ever see this?
00:28:49.000 There was a guy, the pit bull owner had a heart attack or something, right?
00:28:54.000 And then this guy's giving him CPR.
00:28:56.000 The dog kills the guy giving CPR, and the dog owner survives.
00:29:01.000 Fucked.
00:29:02.000 He was trying to protect his owner.
00:29:04.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:29:05.000 Yeah, he's like pushing his chest.
00:29:08.000 If I saw a guy with a pit bull dying, I would say, I can't help you.
00:29:13.000 You have a pit bull.
00:29:15.000 You did this.
00:29:16.000 Yeah, you have a baby trap.
00:29:18.000 Should have taught him CPR.
00:29:21.000 Dogs that know CPR, type, type, type, type.
00:29:24.000 Anyway, I smashed the subscribe and I'm getting my money's worth.
00:29:29.000 I don't care if you use my name.
00:29:30.000 I'm not a pussy.
00:29:31.000 It's Eric Brokop.
00:29:34.000 It's funny to think that people are afraid to openly say they listen to your show, but activist journalists can write mainstream articles attempting to normalize pedophilia, which is true.
00:29:46.000 We've seen all these articles that are out now saying, look, stop calling pedophiles child molesters.
00:29:54.000 They don't all molest children.
00:29:55.000 They just want to.
00:29:56.000 Monday's episode or Tuesday's episode was disturbing.
00:30:01.000 All the teachers and the video.
00:30:03.000 Why are you worried about pedophiles' rights?
00:30:05.000 Like, you'll...
00:30:06.000 You have no rights.
00:30:07.000 You'll take your daughter out of a school if the teacher's dad was reputed to have said the N-word 20 years ago.
00:30:15.000 But pedophiles, well, I think my daughter could learn a lot from them.
00:30:19.000 It's just a different type of sexuality.
00:30:21.000 The queer agenda and all that bullshit.
00:30:24.000 Clown World doesn't do it justice anymore.
00:30:27.000 You know, I've been talking to this new guy as a contributor, and he's got kind of an interesting thing he's been pushing where he's talking about the Bible.
00:30:40.000 And his contention is it's going to be illegal in 10 years.
00:30:43.000 Whoa.
00:30:45.000 The Bible?
00:30:45.000 The Bible.
00:30:46.000 Interest.
00:30:47.000 Well, they're banning free speech and stuff already.
00:30:50.000 Right.
00:30:51.000 I saw To Kill a Mockingbird is getting pulled from some schools because it's racist.
00:30:56.000 So the Bible is anti-gay.
00:31:00.000 It's anti-globalist with the Tower of Babel.
00:31:02.000 And you could argue that's anti-diversity.
00:31:05.000 And diversity is our strength.
00:31:07.000 So I think he's got a good point.
00:31:09.000 Anyway, we're way past the half-hour mark.
00:31:11.000 True.
00:31:12.000 That should give you a good dose of what this show is about.
00:31:15.000 Although no other show we do is like this one.
00:31:19.000 We don't often...
00:31:20.000 We do the mailbag every show, but it's only for like five or ten minutes of the hour and a half.
00:31:26.000 And this show is unique in that it's 100% contributor-based content.
00:31:32.000 I mean, viewer-based content.
00:31:35.000 All right.
00:31:36.000 Goodbye.
00:31:38.000 Yeah.
00:31:38.000 Stay tuned.
00:31:39.000 Paywallers.
00:31:40.000 We're not going anywhere.
00:32:00.000 You know, the most interesting thing I thought about that Netflix documentary about Leonard Skinner is how much they would fucking jam.
00:32:08.000 Yeah.
00:32:08.000 Oh, fucking.
00:32:09.000 Like five hours a day, every day, in a shack in Florida in August.
00:32:15.000 Sweltering heat.
00:32:16.000 Just everywhere.
00:32:18.000 In a swamp.
00:32:19.000 Yeah.
00:32:19.000 Imagine the mosquitoes alone.
00:32:22.000 Must just be off and beer.
00:32:25.000 Probably just beer and just beer and everything just pouring out of your pores.
00:32:29.000 Yeah, your blood's So thin, the mosquitoes can't handle it.
00:32:32.000 Black Flag were like that, too.
00:32:34.000 They would practice five hours a day, six days a week.
00:32:37.000 I could see Henry Rollins being that regimented, though.
00:32:40.000 I don't know.
00:32:40.000 Would you get bored?
00:32:42.000 All right, I think we got it.
00:32:44.000 I mean, it's fucking punk at the end of the day.
00:32:46.000 Yeah.
00:32:49.000 Home of the two-minute song.
00:32:52.000 All right, let's start taking some calls.
00:32:54.000 Oh, I don't have my little thingamadoodle.
00:32:57.000 Dinko breath.
00:33:00.000 Someone wants to know if I could call out Joe Rogan.
00:33:05.000 Call him out?
00:33:07.000 For not having Sam Hyde on.
00:33:11.000 Yeah, he's been really going hard on that wanting to go on Rogan thing.
00:33:14.000 I think it would be great.
00:33:15.000 Dude, it would be amazing.
00:33:16.000 On Joe Rogan.
00:33:17.000 And you look at, like, as far as the media attention goes, you hear about that white-bearded dude who was into making vaccines.
00:33:26.000 Oh, yeah, Robert, what's his name?
00:33:29.000 Dr. Lalone.
00:33:30.000 Yeah.
00:33:31.000 Who, by the way, they're calling him a proud boy now.
00:33:33.000 I don't know what the fuck that means.
00:33:35.000 But there's those, the famous ones, that blow up.
00:33:40.000 But if you actually check Spotify, there's a lot of sort of dud, mediocre comedians that no one really likes.
00:33:48.000 Like that fucking spinster chick who's a total sad whore.
00:33:54.000 The fuck is her name?
00:33:58.000 Shit.
00:33:59.000 And she's all about being a female comedian.
00:34:02.000 Imagine being a comedian and being all about your gender and how you're a female comedian.
00:34:07.000 Aren't you kind of admitting that women aren't funny if that's a huge deal?
00:34:10.000 Is it Jen Kirkman?
00:34:12.000 No, but she's one of the worst.
00:34:14.000 Well, he has Annie Letterman on all the time.
00:34:18.000 Who's the one that hangs out with Annie Letterman?
00:34:21.000 Who's the chick who she brought a robot of herself up on stage to skeeve everyone out?
00:34:28.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:34:30.000 Fuck.
00:34:30.000 Celicity Carla Flockhart.
00:34:33.000 Cummings.
00:34:34.000 Yeah.
00:34:35.000 What's her name?
00:34:36.000 Whitney Cummings.
00:34:36.000 Whitney Cummings.
00:34:37.000 Whitney Cummings.
00:34:39.000 It's so sad watching these girls, too.
00:34:41.000 Like, Nikki Glazer, I adore her.
00:34:44.000 I used to hang out with her a little bit.
00:34:46.000 She liked my book.
00:34:48.000 And I watched her stand-up recently, and it was like, I just can't find a man.
00:34:54.000 And, you know, it's, oh, the good thing about having your face fucked is you don't have to do anything.
00:34:59.000 And then it sucks, though, when he leaves.
00:35:01.000 Her last one was crazy.
00:35:04.000 She started talking about all her kinks.
00:35:07.000 Oof.
00:35:10.000 Like what?
00:35:11.000 I heard her on Instagram being talked about being fucked up the ass and saying she likes it because it's.
00:35:16.000 She literally subscribes to like all these crazy gangbang BDSM.
00:35:22.000 Like, says she secretly wants to do it, but she wants it to be like she's being forced to do it, but she's willing to do it.
00:35:31.000 She wants to get gang raped.
00:35:32.000 Oh, yeah.
00:35:33.000 Like she wants like a toilet bowl over, a seat over her head with like pig and slut and everything written on her.
00:35:40.000 She's like, but I just don't want to, like, I don't want to be like initiated.
00:35:43.000 It has to just, they have to make me do it.
00:35:46.000 It's like, what are you talking about?
00:35:48.000 And then you do that, and you realize it was just for a comedy good.
00:35:52.000 You're a huge woman.
00:35:53.000 And then you're in jail for 15 years.
00:35:55.000 Yeah.
00:35:56.000 She's got some serious kink issues.
00:35:59.000 Someone.
00:36:00.000 She's living with her parents now.
00:36:02.000 We've ruined our woman with this bullshit freedom shit.
00:36:05.000 And that goes back to these divorce letters I was getting, which I might jump to after this, where it's clear the woman is bluffing when she says, like, I'm not happy.
00:36:16.000 And he's like, okay, I want you to be happy.
00:36:19.000 Like this dude at our bar, the sanitation guy, where she goes, hey, if we pretend we live near the high school, our kids can go to this great high school.
00:36:28.000 Meanwhile, she's going out with these divorced women and parting her ass off at the bar that ends with 19.
00:36:36.000 And they're like, this is fun.
00:36:38.000 We're getting Coke.
00:36:40.000 And the kids are getting older.
00:36:41.000 So it might be an element here might be paranoia, phobia of empty nest syndrome, because you know it's coming and you're worried you're going to be bored with this asshole of a husband, loser of a husband, whatever.
00:36:55.000 So I've told the story before, but she goes, whatever, honey, let's do it.
00:36:59.000 So he gets an apartment, and then she goes, okay, we can pretend we live there and now the kids can go to a good high school.
00:37:05.000 But apparently they do spot checks on the apartment.
00:37:08.000 Really?
00:37:09.000 So buy a key of furniture and put furniture in it.
00:37:12.000 Whatever you want, honey, whatever makes you happy.
00:37:14.000 He does that.
00:37:15.000 And then she goes, you're not going to believe this.
00:37:16.000 Apparently, like, they'll knock on the door some nights to make sure you live there.
00:37:21.000 Okay.
00:37:22.000 Can you stay there?
00:37:23.000 I guess this is going.
00:37:25.000 He's like, okay.
00:37:26.000 And then he's like, I stayed there two nights.
00:37:28.000 She goes, I hear they're cracking down.
00:37:32.000 Make sure there's like cutlery and your underwear drawer and posters on the wall and stay there for two weeks because this is the week they crack down.
00:37:41.000 He's like, whatever, honey.
00:37:42.000 Whatever makes you happy.
00:37:44.000 Her divorce lawyer had been setting this all up for a year.
00:37:49.000 So then she files for divorce and says he's absent.
00:37:52.000 He abandoned the family.
00:37:55.000 He got an apartment two miles away from us, five miles away.
00:38:01.000 And so he had the book thrown at him.
00:38:03.000 The kids, of his two kids, one of them went against him.
00:38:07.000 So the moral of this story is, honey, I want you to go stay at an apartment and pretend you live there.
00:38:13.000 No.
00:38:14.000 We're not doing that.
00:38:16.000 Well, the kids won't go to a good school.
00:38:18.000 Oh, well.
00:38:19.000 School's for retards these days anyway.
00:38:21.000 I was realizing this the other day.
00:38:23.000 I got an argument with my dad about it.
00:38:25.000 I was like, my daughter missed class because she slept in or something.
00:38:28.000 And I thought, I don't fucking care.
00:38:32.000 I don't care about school at all.
00:38:36.000 If my kids played hookie for a week, I'd be proud of them.
00:38:40.000 I know, I can't believe I'm saying that.
00:38:42.000 But school has become such a shit show brainwashing fest.
00:38:46.000 Indoctrination camps.
00:38:47.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:38:48.000 And if you're curious about the Civil War, here's a Civil War book.
00:38:53.000 You know?
00:38:54.000 Like, you're reading and writing is important.
00:38:56.000 But like, what are they learning in there?
00:39:00.000 It's a glorified daycare.
00:39:03.000 And then my dad was like, well, look at people who have been to university are 11 times more likely to be.
00:39:10.000 No, because they're smart.
00:39:12.000 And your data comes from your generation when university was science, technology, engineering, mathematics.
00:39:20.000 Even art school was hard back in the 50s and 60s.
00:39:24.000 You could leave and you could do photorealism.
00:39:26.000 Now?
00:39:27.000 And only like 5% went to university.
00:39:30.000 Yes.
00:39:30.000 And that's all who should.
00:39:33.000 One of the biggest problems with America, I think, today is there's too many colleges and universities.
00:39:41.000 Everyone's not meant to go to college.
00:39:44.000 No.
00:39:45.000 I mean, it's beautiful to learn the classics of Dickens and the Romantic era and see the Mona Lisa and all that stuff.
00:39:55.000 We can squeeze that in.
00:39:56.000 I think they said there was like 4,100 college and universities in the United States.
00:40:01.000 That's fucking ridiculous.
00:40:03.000 Yeah.
00:40:03.000 4,100.
00:40:04.000 It was 95, 5.
00:40:06.000 95 people, 95% got a trade, 5% went to school.
00:40:10.000 Now it's reversed.
00:40:12.000 And it shouldn't be reversed.
00:40:14.000 Look at them.
00:40:14.000 You can see them on the internet.
00:40:16.000 You see these journalists talking about proud boys being neo-fascist and white power adjacent.
00:40:22.000 You're clearly retarded.
00:40:24.000 I saw some post the other day.
00:40:25.000 What was his name?
00:40:26.000 Christopher Matthias.
00:40:28.000 He was saying Tucker's latest attack on Soros perfectly mirrors the Daily Stormer and 4chan neo-Nazi criticisms of Soros.
00:40:38.000 Yes, that's true.
00:40:41.000 It also mirrors the Amish, the albino, the Maddie and Gavin and Ryan, and the fucking motorcycle mechanic criticisms of Soros.
00:40:52.000 Because it's true, you fucking dunce.
00:40:55.000 All cats are mammals.
00:40:56.000 All dogs are mammals.
00:40:58.000 All cats are not dogs.
00:41:00.000 Who's that new guy who's getting a lot of press lately?
00:41:03.000 Klaus Schwab or something like that?
00:41:07.000 I've heard of that.
00:41:07.000 Yeah, let me look him up.
00:41:08.000 Yeah, he's got this new global leader things.
00:41:15.000 He's infiltrated half a fucking Trudeau's cabinet, Venezuela, Macron's.
00:41:22.000 Yeah.
00:41:22.000 Ryan, see if you find...
00:41:24.000 I think it's Klaus Schwab.
00:41:26.000 Yeah, that sounds familiar.
00:41:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:41:29.000 That's him right there, yeah.
00:41:30.000 Yes, we've seen him.
00:41:30.000 He's the guy with the weird fucking Star Trek accountant vest.
00:41:34.000 World outfit.
00:41:34.000 Yeah, there he is.
00:41:36.000 He's got like some group that he teaches these.
00:41:40.000 Look at his fucking outfit there in the middle.
00:41:45.000 That's Zod shit.
00:41:47.000 Oh, my God.
00:41:49.000 Where did he get off this?
00:41:51.000 All speak Esperanza.
00:41:53.000 That's the globalist uniform.
00:41:55.000 How could you take anyone seriously wearing that?
00:41:57.000 He's not wearing a collar because that's traditional.
00:42:00.000 This is new.
00:42:01.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:42:02.000 Collars are for the old days.
00:42:03.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:42:04.000 The old days.
00:42:06.000 Yeah, but he's been a busy man.
00:42:08.000 Well, I mean, all of that shit was so esoteric like five or six years ago.
00:42:13.000 We knew they existed, but it was like, yeah, these globalists, they're fucking nuts.
00:42:17.000 Now it's fucking mainstream.
00:42:21.000 Soros has at least a dozen DAs setting people free, including the guy who plowed into the dancing grannies.
00:42:27.000 That was a Soros-funded DA who released that guy.
00:42:32.000 So it's on our front doorsteps now.
00:42:34.000 Those are no longer lunatics we used to laugh at like flat earthers.
00:42:39.000 And is he fucking promoting his other articles?
00:42:41.000 Previously, fucking bam.
00:42:45.000 He's a rich kid who changed his last name because it was too long.
00:42:48.000 His parents are doctors.
00:42:50.000 They pay all his bills.
00:42:51.000 All of those kids are.
00:42:53.000 You know how, like, what's up?
00:42:56.000 Chadwick Moore doesn't look gay?
00:42:59.000 Like, if Chadwick Moore did look gay, he would look like this guy.
00:43:02.000 This poor kid has no lips.
00:43:03.000 It's just like a razor slit for a mouth.
00:43:06.000 Look how weird he looks.
00:43:07.000 What, though?
00:43:08.000 His eyelashes?
00:43:08.000 Yeah, that upper lip is just straight across.
00:43:10.000 His eyes are a little wonky.
00:43:12.000 And his weird, been in the tombs for four days, beard.
00:43:15.000 Yeah, this hairy monster.
00:43:17.000 Yeah, that right eye is definitely wandering.
00:43:19.000 Yeah, it is.
00:43:20.000 It might be the left one.
00:43:21.000 He actually looks like...
00:43:22.000 No, if you're looking at the screen, it's not a left one.
00:43:24.000 These guys are all so low T. They look like lesbians who are transitioning.
00:43:29.000 And it's like, hi, what's going on?
00:43:30.000 My name's Christopher, and I'm a man now, and I don't even remember what it's like to be a woman.
00:43:36.000 Dude, I sent this to my wife earlier today.
00:43:42.000 You know how these lesbians will cut their tits off?
00:43:46.000 Yeah.
00:43:48.000 I think it's awesome.
00:43:50.000 Because tits are for fags.
00:43:51.000 No, I'm just kidding.
00:43:53.000 Someone sent me a picture of actually what they're cutting off.
00:43:58.000 It was a baby monster.
00:43:59.000 And I was naive enough to assume that it's just like cutting here, taking out some fat, and then sealing it up again.
00:44:11.000 Like cutting off your earlobes.
00:44:13.000 That's just a stupid area, right?
00:44:16.000 But no.
00:44:19.000 Tits are incredibly complicated.
00:44:22.000 I've seen reduction surgery.
00:44:25.000 In person?
00:44:26.000 Well, no.
00:44:28.000 At a party?
00:44:29.000 Are they cutting strips out?
00:44:32.000 Yeah, it's weird.
00:44:33.000 Well, I assume with reduction surgery, they keep the milk ducts intact.
00:44:38.000 Yeah, they cut the nipple off and then they draw the lines sunburst and they cut down and take it out in strips.
00:44:46.000 Please don't do that.
00:44:49.000 I'm against the bombing of abortion clinics, but to be honest, I'm not against the bombing of breast reduction surgery clinics.
00:44:58.000 I'm going to become a domestic terrorist and fucking kill those places.
00:45:02.000 JK, JK, JK.
00:45:04.000 Josh Kenning, FBI.
00:45:08.000 Yeah, the glandular tissue in each breast is divided into 15 to 20 lobes, which are organized in a daisy-like pattern to make nursing milk.
00:45:15.000 Did you get it, Ryan?
00:45:16.000 I texted you.
00:45:21.000 The lobes are further split into smaller lobules, which create milk for the mother.
00:45:28.000 What?
00:45:29.000 For the mother to give to the kid, I assume.
00:45:32.000 the milk is carried to a reservoir right behind your nipple by little tubes.
00:45:37.000 So that has got to go.
00:45:39.000 Wow.
00:45:40.000 So they're not just tucking a thing, taking out some random stupid fat, like when you're cutting into a steak and you don't want to eat the chewy part.
00:45:49.000 Piece of grizzle.
00:45:50.000 Yeah, this is not grizzle.
00:45:52.000 They're removing major machinery.
00:45:54.000 It's tisle.
00:45:55.000 Looks like a pink sunflower.
00:45:57.000 It looks like a big fucking deal.
00:46:00.000 A very intricate thing.
00:46:02.000 Yeah.
00:46:03.000 Yeah.
00:46:05.000 I mean, it's like having a finger removed.
00:46:07.000 But no, as far.
00:46:10.000 No.
00:46:12.000 I'm going to have to disagree.
00:46:15.000 Because that's way more intricate than anything else.
00:46:18.000 Fingers got a lot of shit going on.
00:46:20.000 Knuckles, there's all kinds of stuff.
00:46:22.000 Not glands.
00:46:23.000 Glands is when you really start getting.
00:46:25.000 So I'm a sexist because I think it's horrific that we live in a culture where cutting these off and literally throwing them in the garbage is empowering feminism.
00:46:39.000 Body dysmorphia.
00:46:40.000 Sorry, I disagree.
00:46:42.000 I don't want you cutting these off.
00:46:44.000 They look like they were a bitch to make.
00:46:46.000 I don't want you cutting these off and throwing them in a Ziploc bio-waste bag that goes to an incinerator in the basement of the hospital.
00:46:56.000 You know?
00:46:58.000 Like, fucking.
00:47:01.000 Be a lesbian.
00:47:03.000 Have some lesbian tits.
00:47:05.000 Be a tomboy.
00:47:06.000 Wear your stupid little Justin Bieber when he was 16 sideways baseball hat with your underwear sticking out of your shorts and your undershirt and your fucking, yo, I'm a dude.
00:47:17.000 Take the hormones.
00:47:18.000 Get the stubble.
00:47:19.000 Go nuts.
00:47:21.000 Put on a strap on.
00:47:22.000 Fuck your girlfriend.
00:47:23.000 Thumbs up.
00:47:25.000 I approve.
00:47:26.000 I don't know.
00:47:26.000 I mean, this saved its life.
00:47:31.000 So it's saving lives.
00:47:33.000 How it saved his life.
00:47:36.000 And by the way, I guarantee you that article is like six months after the operation.
00:47:41.000 Let's check back in with old Rye Guy.
00:47:44.000 Let's check in with old Ryan Casada in five years.
00:47:48.000 What have I done?
00:47:49.000 At least they held on to his fucking nipples.
00:47:52.000 Is that home plate?
00:47:53.000 Yeah, it's a tattoo of home plate.
00:47:55.000 I thought it was maybe a pocket.
00:47:56.000 He's like, I also want a pocket and no tips.
00:47:58.000 Is that possible?
00:47:59.000 Is that home plate so you know where she's going to be?
00:48:00.000 Maybe she identifies as a fucking marsupial.
00:48:03.000 Wanted a pocket.
00:48:04.000 Oh, I get it.
00:48:05.000 Home plate is close.
00:48:07.000 It's hit to home.
00:48:08.000 Home is where the heart is.
00:48:10.000 It hits home base.
00:48:11.000 Home is where the...
00:48:12.000 My wife has a tattoo of a heart here.
00:48:15.000 And shortly after knowing her, I go, what's all that about?
00:48:19.000 What do you think you have a little heart?
00:48:20.000 She goes, yeah, I don't know.
00:48:22.000 That was just sort of meant like I wear my heart on my sleeve.
00:48:25.000 I go, no, you don't.
00:48:28.000 You're totally guarded, quiet.
00:48:31.000 Well, you come across as a bitch.
00:48:34.000 No!
00:48:36.000 I don't see it as a bad trait.
00:48:38.000 I'm an asshole, and we're attracted to bitches because we need a grump to keep us in line.
00:48:42.000 My mom's a bitch.
00:48:43.000 My dad's an asshole.
00:48:45.000 It's a thing.
00:48:46.000 It's salt and pepper.
00:48:47.000 You need it.
00:48:48.000 You come across as a bitch.
00:48:49.000 Yin and yang.
00:48:51.000 If I married a nice girl, she'd be trampled to death.
00:48:57.000 There he is.
00:48:58.000 Bitches don't wear their hearts on their sleeves.
00:49:00.000 There's my buddy Ryan.
00:49:01.000 Hey, man.
00:49:02.000 Hey, look, it's Adam Friedland from Cometown.
00:49:04.000 Okay, stop, stop.
00:49:06.000 Hey, Ryan.
00:49:07.000 Yes.
00:49:07.000 Not you, him.
00:49:08.000 Oh.
00:49:10.000 Hey, Ryan.
00:49:11.000 What's up?
00:49:13.000 Do you break for queiffs?
00:49:15.000 What's the worst shit you've ever had?
00:49:18.000 You got to see my hemorrhoid.
00:49:19.000 Can I show you my hemorrhoid?
00:49:21.000 It's kind of flattened now because I sit on it, right?
00:49:24.000 Dude, you got to see my hemorrhoid.
00:49:26.000 Oh, here.
00:49:27.000 I just cut my fart.
00:49:29.000 It's a really bad fart.
00:49:30.000 It smells like cobalt.
00:49:31.000 Let me throw it in your face.
00:49:33.000 And you not get mad.
00:49:35.000 Instead, this is what men do.
00:49:37.000 You throw a fart in their face and they go, oh, dude, fucking brunching.
00:49:42.000 Something in you, man.
00:49:44.000 They actually get concerned.
00:49:45.000 If you like shit in their face, basically, and send them the worst fart on earth, they go, oh my God, what are you eating?
00:49:54.000 No, you got to get checked out.
00:49:56.000 It's like they did a little cancer test or a pap smear and the results are not good.
00:50:02.000 They're like little fart doctors.
00:50:06.000 You want to do that?
00:50:07.000 Do you want to talk about...
00:50:08.000 Do you want to watch Gay Porn with us?
00:50:10.000 You know what is Gay Porn to Us?
00:50:11.000 It's watching a man make a wooden wheel for a cart.
00:50:15.000 Oil riggers is gay porn to us.
00:50:17.000 Guys who build a log cabin 100% by themselves from scratch.
00:50:23.000 No power tools, no power tools.
00:50:24.000 Yeah, we watch that on Speed Thingy, sped up.
00:50:27.000 Do you want to watch that with us?
00:50:29.000 Because I'm happy to hang out with you.
00:50:31.000 How about a punch buggy red?
00:50:33.000 If I see a red punch buggy, I fucking nail you in your girly arms.
00:50:37.000 Are you okay with that?
00:50:38.000 But it's funny, like, it's like, what's he going to bring to the table as far as conversation?
00:50:43.000 He doesn't have any experience as a man.
00:50:45.000 Yeah.
00:50:46.000 He really thinks being a man is just kind of like doing this?
00:50:49.000 Like, I don't care.
00:50:53.000 Okay, if you want to cut your tits off, watch.
00:50:56.000 If you want to cut your tits off.
00:50:59.000 You got to watch George Brett.
00:51:02.000 That was perfect.
00:51:03.000 Watch George Brett's video where he shit his pants last night and just fucking water.
00:51:14.000 Just water.
00:51:16.000 What'd you do?
00:51:17.000 I just kept walking and went straight through the bathroom.
00:51:20.000 I'm wearing buckskin boots, no socks.
00:51:23.000 What?
00:51:24.000 That sounds really uncomfortable, by the way.
00:51:26.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:51:27.000 Your toes are all slimy in your leather boots.
00:51:30.000 And one dude is sitting down with his hand on his knee and he's kneeling down.
00:51:33.000 He's listening to the entire conversation so intently.
00:51:37.000 Yeah.
00:51:37.000 He goes, yeah, you know, I'm good for about once a year.
00:51:39.000 Shit myself.
00:51:40.000 Shit my pants.
00:51:41.000 Does he say three times a year or one time a year?
00:51:43.000 No, at least once a year.
00:51:44.000 Yeah, I'm good for those about once a year.
00:51:49.000 Sparted last night.
00:51:50.000 Did you hear that before he said shit my pants last night?
00:51:52.000 He goes, look at him.
00:51:59.000 He's bent over like squeezing luck.
00:52:01.000 I want that Ryan chick to be there with sunglasses and a hat on, just like stretching, going, oh, yeah.
00:52:08.000 They look like pit vipers.
00:52:09.000 So, what was going on there when you shit your pants?
00:52:13.000 Does he have two pairs?
00:52:14.000 He's got two pairs.
00:52:15.000 Yeah, I think one are clear.
00:52:17.000 That's funny.
00:52:18.000 Shit myself.
00:52:19.000 One are clear.
00:52:21.000 One are clear.
00:52:24.000 None are grammar.
00:52:30.000 I've never caught that.
00:52:33.000 I had a great meal.
00:52:34.000 Just a great fucking meal.
00:52:35.000 I had to go to the bathroom, so bat in the car.
00:52:37.000 I'm going, bro.
00:52:38.000 She's just been down listening to the whole story.
00:52:40.000 Got extra.
00:52:41.000 I had fucking shit in my pants.
00:52:46.000 So this is what we do, ladies.
00:52:48.000 Like, you know that meme where she's, they're lying in bed and she's looking at him and she's like, I wonder what he's, he's probably thinking about other women.
00:52:56.000 And then they have him and what he's thinking about, it's usually nothing at all.
00:53:00.000 Or, you know what we're thinking about?
00:53:02.000 We're like, how the fuck does a sewing machine take the needle down and then scoop it and then it, what the, how does, who the fuck?
00:53:10.000 What the fuck is how is that?
00:53:13.000 Who came up with a watch?
00:53:15.000 Like, what was the first watch?
00:53:17.000 Was it, oh, the fuck?
00:53:18.000 I can't even think of, I've seen like the inside of the watches I wear.
00:53:23.000 What was the first one?
00:53:24.000 Was it only a third of those little cogs?
00:53:26.000 That's not good enough.
00:53:28.000 It's like all or nothing.
00:53:29.000 You can't have like two cogs and it's a watch.
00:53:34.000 Exactly.
00:53:36.000 So are you ready for all of that, Ryan?
00:53:38.000 No, I'm not into that.
00:53:39.000 I'm into talking about gender politics, fluidity, the history of the LGBT.
00:53:45.000 Well, that's not what guys are into.
00:53:48.000 So you're not a guy.
00:53:49.000 How I still get yeast infections.
00:53:52.000 Politics of yeast infections.
00:53:55.000 That's lesbian shit.
00:53:57.000 You're a lesbian.
00:54:01.000 God damn it.
00:54:07.000 But hey.
00:54:08.000 All right, let's do some of these divorce things and take calls.
00:54:13.000 We got a call.
00:54:14.000 We got plenty of calls.
00:54:15.000 We should probably do some of that.
00:54:19.000 We got Mark.
00:54:21.000 Mac.
00:54:23.000 What's going on, Mark?
00:54:24.000 Hey.
00:54:25.000 Hey, guys.
00:54:28.000 So last week, Ryan dropped a bomb when he said that his dad, who up until that point I thought was a dead beast, but now I think he's the greatest dad in the world, he took him to Jeff Lynn's house.
00:54:38.000 Yes.
00:54:40.000 Who's Jeff Lynn again?
00:54:41.000 Is he in Toto?
00:54:42.000 No.
00:54:43.000 ELO.
00:54:44.000 Shut up.
00:54:44.000 You know who Jeff Lynn is.
00:54:46.000 You're from England.
00:54:47.000 You know who he is.
00:54:49.000 Okay, who is he?
00:54:50.000 He's the ELO guy.
00:54:51.000 Don't bring me down.
00:54:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:54:53.000 Hey, there, Mr. Blue.
00:54:55.000 It's endless hits with that motherfucker.
00:54:57.000 Yeah, those albums sound like greatest hits on.
00:54:59.000 Dude, he fucking...
00:55:01.000 Was it the Beatles that produced one?
00:55:05.000 Yeah, but Caller, he dragged his son to one of his jobs as he cut hair because he didn't have anything to do.
00:55:14.000 And fucking.
00:55:15.000 No, I knew about this two days in advance.
00:55:17.000 And we rode on the back of his motorcycle.
00:55:19.000 I rode on the back of his motorcycle, weaving through traffic through Beverly Hills, go to the top of Beverly Hills, fucking just surprise him.
00:55:27.000 And then while he's getting a haircut, his girlfriend slash secretary or assistant, whatever, showed me around in the room that the band used to play in.
00:55:35.000 So they got like the records and his studio, the Gretsch's.
00:55:38.000 We bonded on Gretsch's.
00:55:40.000 And then here's what's funny.
00:55:41.000 Jeff Lynn, after my dad sent him the highs and lows video that we all know and love, Jeff Lynn put a video.
00:55:48.000 Can't give you my heart if I can.
00:55:50.000 Take your word.
00:55:51.000 La la la la la la la.
00:55:54.000 It's like a rape.
00:55:55.000 It's like living a rape again.
00:55:57.000 Not that I would know.
00:55:58.000 And Jeff Lynn put out a video where it's multiple Jeff Lynn's all in a room talking to each other after my dad sent him that video.
00:56:08.000 And how does that relate to your video?
00:56:10.000 Because there was multiple meetings.
00:56:11.000 Multiple Ryan's.
00:56:13.000 I like it on that Long Wave album or whatever it was.
00:56:17.000 Yeah, wait, let me see.
00:56:18.000 Jeff Lynn.
00:56:19.000 Jeff Lynn.
00:56:22.000 Yeah, it's going to be hard to find.
00:56:23.000 Always, thanks for calling, buddy.
00:56:26.000 And also, I found out my dad gave me this coat, right?
00:56:31.000 This is cool.
00:56:33.000 Gave me this coat.
00:56:34.000 Sent a bunch of stuff.
00:56:35.000 I'm not trying to make your dad a thing.
00:56:36.000 It's like fetch.
00:56:39.000 So I'm like, oh, and it's a nice tresh coat.
00:56:41.000 It fits real well.
00:56:42.000 It's a $3,000 Christian Dior jacket.
00:56:50.000 And that Louis Vuitton that we thought was fake.
00:56:52.000 Milo, when he was gay, he knows he's a stuff.
00:56:55.000 And so do you, and so did you.
00:56:56.000 Oh, I knew it was real.
00:56:57.000 You were like, it's real.
00:56:58.000 So, I mean, this guy's giving your dog some bank.
00:57:01.000 And that's how you show love in Japan where feelings don't exist.
00:57:05.000 Why are you selling on Poshmark?
00:57:07.000 I was thinking about it.
00:57:08.000 To afford our Disney trip, I was thinking about...
00:57:12.000 Let's see it.
00:57:12.000 Put it on.
00:57:13.000 Let's see you in it.
00:57:14.000 See you!
00:57:16.000 Because everything you wear is so bad.
00:57:18.000 I sat you a new jumper, son.
00:57:19.000 It's actually not good of you to wear good clothes because they're with a Timberland.
00:57:24.000 It's bad for the brand to wear good clothes.
00:57:27.000 Yeah, well, it's just a waste.
00:57:28.000 Come out here.
00:57:29.000 Let's see.
00:57:32.000 That's a good camera.
00:57:36.000 So it's just like a long cashmere kind of a trench coat thing.
00:57:42.000 Yeah, it is.
00:57:46.000 It's the faggoty French stuff.
00:57:52.000 It's great to wear with a suit, you know, it's cold out with a suit.
00:57:55.000 Yeah.
00:57:57.000 And here's the thing, too.
00:57:58.000 I have one from the Gap, but it's like...
00:58:02.000 It doesn't have nice lining, so the material gets stuck and it rides up your sleeves on your suit.
00:58:09.000 This one has like a silky lining, and it doesn't catch your suit.
00:58:13.000 Yeah, okay.
00:58:15.000 Can you get back to the right camera, please?
00:58:17.000 Yes, the board has to be...
00:58:19.000 There we go.
00:58:22.000 Folks at home didn't see this, but it was particularly cringe.
00:58:25.000 I said, that's a good jacket to wear the suit.
00:58:28.000 And he goes, yes!
00:58:31.000 I'm excited.
00:58:32.000 I like to be spoken to.
00:58:34.000 By the way, today?
00:58:36.000 on Safe Space.
00:58:37.000 It was the last episode.
00:58:38.000 So we did a final episode with Talib Stark Safe Space.
00:58:41.000 And the TriCaster, their TriCaster has been doing some shit.
00:58:44.000 Always having problems.
00:58:46.000 It crashed during his show.
00:58:47.000 So there was just like no green screen technology or anything.
00:58:51.000 And it just like...
00:58:52.000 Wow, I can't believe I didn't see this on the front page of the dailymail.co.uk.
00:58:58.000 Nobody watches that show.
00:58:59.000 Nobody cares.
00:59:00.000 No one knows what you're talking about.
00:59:03.000 All right.
00:59:04.000 So this is what I was talking about earlier.
00:59:07.000 You ready?
00:59:08.000 My sister and husband have four kids.
00:59:11.000 My sister and husband, this is from a woman.
00:59:13.000 No, it's from a guy.
00:59:15.000 So this guy's sister and her husband have four kids.
00:59:19.000 And he's calling it quits after 13 years of marriage.
00:59:22.000 Four kids, 13 years of marriage.
00:59:24.000 They're all fucking young.
00:59:26.000 He joined a CrossFit gym.
00:59:28.000 Good.
00:59:28.000 Got really into his image, bad, and decided he could bag a chick that's slightly younger than my sister.
00:59:35.000 Gay.
00:59:36.000 The most cliche midlife crisis scenario.
00:59:39.000 He's in his mid-40s and already talking to a woman in her mid-30s.
00:59:45.000 What?
00:59:46.000 This is like when I tell guys to get married, I go, you've been dating her for eight years.
00:59:50.000 What are you waiting for?
00:59:50.000 Her with bigger tits?
00:59:52.000 And then you see these guys throwing away their marriage for her with bigger tits or her 10 years younger.
00:59:57.000 What?
00:59:58.000 Like, are her laugh lines too pronounced for you, sir?
01:00:02.000 Where's the loyalty?
01:00:04.000 Yeah.
01:00:06.000 The woman also has four kids and recently divorced.
01:00:09.000 So the woman, the mistress has four kids, I should have said.
01:00:12.000 You've noticed this before, but it's not like he's leaving for a nine.
01:00:17.000 Right, which isn't really better, though, but I get your point.
01:00:20.000 He's wrecking the kids' lives and my sister's world for a mom of four who is like a 5.2.
01:00:27.000 I'm sure she's in shape, but CrossFit women are broad-shouldered dykes.
01:00:30.000 Makes no fucking sense.
01:00:32.000 Did you just fart, Ryan?
01:00:33.000 No.
01:00:34.000 Sounded like it.
01:00:35.000 What?
01:00:35.000 You heard a fart?
01:00:37.000 Yeah, I heard two farts now.
01:00:38.000 I didn't know.
01:00:39.000 I heard a fart during your denial of the first fart.
01:00:42.000 And counting five farts?
01:00:45.000 I could send pictures upon request.
01:00:46.000 I don't care.
01:00:47.000 It doesn't matter.
01:00:49.000 Of his 35-year-old mistress versus his 42-year-old wife and mother of his four children.
01:00:56.000 See, I wrote an article a long time ago called Divorce Your Wife.
01:00:59.000 And I said, if things are going bad with your wife, just leave her.
01:01:03.000 Just dump her.
01:01:04.000 Fucking leave her.
01:01:05.000 Okay?
01:01:06.000 Now you're looking for someone who's your type.
01:01:09.000 I'm into brunettes, ethnically ambiguous brunettes with a big ass.
01:01:12.000 That's me.
01:01:16.000 I'm right here.
01:01:17.000 It's not off on that.
01:01:18.000 Description.
01:01:19.000 I can hear you.
01:01:22.000 I'm listening.
01:01:23.000 Ducky Mac.
01:01:25.000 But you also want someone who's close with your kids, that you have things in common with and you have past experiences with, and someone your children will adore.
01:01:35.000 And you also don't want to traumatize your kids with divorce.
01:01:39.000 I know.
01:01:40.000 How about your wife?
01:01:42.000 So you divorce her in your head.
01:01:45.000 Then you see this new chick.
01:01:47.000 Now there's a new chick.
01:01:49.000 And you do all that new chick stuff, like you buy her lingerie and you court her and you ask her for dinner and stuff.
01:01:55.000 You court your wife as a mistress.
01:01:58.000 And now, don't tell her any of this, by the way.
01:02:01.000 And now you're courting this ethnically ambiguous brunette with a big ass who your kids love.
01:02:06.000 They're happy.
01:02:07.000 You haven't hurt your kids.
01:02:08.000 You're probably going to get her.
01:02:09.000 The odds are pretty high you're going to end up fucking her.
01:02:12.000 And now you're in a new marriage with a woman that's perfect for you that your kids adore.
01:02:20.000 Problem solved.
01:02:21.000 Because half the time these divorces are just like, meh, I want to feel, remember that fucking traumatizing article where she goes, I want to feel the wind in my hair.
01:02:34.000 I want the sun on my face.
01:02:36.000 Okay.
01:02:37.000 Please watch Retarded Policeman number 8 on YouTube.
01:02:40.000 My kids and I are huge fans.
01:02:41.000 Thought you'd love this.
01:02:42.000 I'm familiar with Retarded Policeman.
01:02:43.000 He's great.
01:02:45.000 Oops.
01:02:47.000 There was a couple of loose ends from last week.
01:02:50.000 Yeah, people have been sending them in all week.
01:02:54.000 Which, okay.
01:02:55.000 So this one is Ela Klein when she was in IDF.
01:03:11.000 Pretty intense.
01:03:12.000 It loops from that point, but very good footage.
01:03:16.000 That guy got in a lot of trouble.
01:03:17.000 Sven Stoffels, he posted a Chinese, like, COVID coronavirus thing, and he got fucking death threats for months.
01:03:27.000 They called his brother.
01:03:28.000 They contacted the brother threatening to kill the kids.
01:03:32.000 So it was like Chinese people, like from China.
01:03:35.000 Yeah, and you get...
01:03:36.000 From China.
01:03:36.000 Yeah, but then he also got like super liberal white people.
01:03:39.000 You could tell that it's like...
01:03:41.000 He sent me an email screenshot.
01:03:43.000 And crazy shit.
01:03:46.000 Anyway, shut up.
01:03:47.000 Anyway, he's a fucking loser, and it's tempting to tell my nieces and nephews what a fucking loser he is.
01:03:52.000 Now, this was a good question, I thought.
01:03:55.000 Because you want to tell your kids that Santa's real and stuff.
01:03:58.000 And like, say, you know, someone's brother goes out to a circuit party and he gets AIDS from being gangbanged by black dudes in an S ⁇ M porno.
01:04:10.000 And the kids go, whatever happened to Uncle Jerry?
01:04:12.000 And you're like, he had cancer.
01:04:15.000 Yeah.
01:04:16.000 So I get that side of the equation.
01:04:18.000 Kids don't need to know about everything disgusting.
01:04:20.000 But at the other hand, like, why am I covering your fucking tracks?
01:04:23.000 Yeah.
01:04:24.000 So I wouldn't get too graphic, obviously, with the kids, but I'd go, yeah, Uncle Joey, he wanted to be with another woman, and he broke Rhonda's heart.
01:04:40.000 And I don't know why he did that.
01:04:42.000 And maybe he has a good reason.
01:04:44.000 Maybe you'll talk to him about it, but I'm really angry at him because I think he wrecked the family.
01:04:52.000 I don't think that's hurting kids.
01:04:54.000 I don't think that's giving, that's not TMI.
01:04:57.000 9-11 is TMI.
01:04:58.000 Santa's TMI.
01:05:00.000 The fact that mom and dad have butt sex when she's drunk is TMI.
01:05:05.000 But the only thing bad about that is, and when I was going through my divorce, you know, my ex-wife and I, we both went out of our way not to disparage each parent.
01:05:19.000 Like, I wouldn't talk bad about his mother in front of him because I didn't want to.
01:05:23.000 But you hadn't done anything bad.
01:05:25.000 That's a big difference here.
01:05:27.000 I mean, we would fight and argue about custody.
01:05:31.000 And, you know, there were some, wasn't always great terms between my ex-wife and I going through the divorce.
01:05:38.000 It took four years for us to get divorced.
01:05:40.000 A lot of money.
01:05:40.000 But it's like the uncle should just be like, listen, maybe when you're older, you're on the stand.
01:05:48.000 Because his sister should be like, hey, don't say that shit to the kids.
01:05:53.000 They got to make their own judgments.
01:05:54.000 I mean.
01:05:56.000 But okay, using that analogy, I think it's okay to say to the kids, dad was in a biker club.
01:06:02.000 Well, the kid was just one kid.
01:06:04.000 Yeah.
01:06:05.000 Your father's a biker.
01:06:07.000 It's very tense.
01:06:08.000 The FBI is all over me every day, and it can become overwhelming.
01:06:15.000 Because you know that his brain is going to go to affairs and fucking chicks and hitting mom and all these other terrible things.
01:06:23.000 So just be like, I don't know, the FBI's been over here three times this week.
01:06:27.000 I've had enough.
01:06:29.000 Well, that's one good thing.
01:06:30.000 My ex-wife would religiously bring him out to visit me and pick me up the day of my release.
01:06:35.000 And she kept him involved too as much as she could.
01:06:39.000 She sounds like a great woman.
01:06:40.000 She is.
01:06:42.000 And she also must have good taste if she divorced you.
01:06:48.000 I think she has good taste because she picked you in the first place, Matt.
01:06:51.000 Yeah.
01:06:51.000 What does that say?
01:06:52.000 Thanks, Robbie.
01:06:53.000 Rob?
01:06:53.000 Yes.
01:06:54.000 $100.
01:06:54.000 Thanks, Robbie.
01:06:56.000 For now, my entire family bites their tongues.
01:07:00.000 Should we keep remaining bubble of protection around the kids?
01:07:03.000 Right now, they think he's awesome and just fell out of love with mom.
01:07:07.000 I hate that shit because then the kids grow up and go, oh yeah, marriage is cool and everything and you can have kids, but you fall out of love.
01:07:14.000 It's a thing.
01:07:16.000 No.
01:07:19.000 The kids even told my sister she should just find someone that loves her.
01:07:23.000 So fucked.
01:07:24.000 My sister just says she loves their dad and he is going through some.
01:07:29.000 Oh, yes.
01:07:30.000 She loves the dad and she's just going through something.
01:07:33.000 Set such a bad example for their kids.
01:07:35.000 Yes, exactly.
01:07:37.000 I was talking to someone at my parents.
01:07:39.000 We'll call it a retirement home.
01:07:41.000 It's like a little apartment complex, whatever.
01:07:45.000 And it's just like my wife's parents are together.
01:07:47.000 My parents are together.
01:07:49.000 Those kind of couples, and I think you should look for that when you're looking for a mate.
01:07:54.000 Although I will say that kids who had it particularly bad, like with total deadbeat dads, are often good dads.
01:08:02.000 Like my buddy Tommy, who's the grandson of Waxi Gordon, the Jewish mobster.
01:08:08.000 His dad was a mobster, but he was a pussy, so he ratted on everyone and was in witness protection when Tommy and his twin sister were like three.
01:08:18.000 And he was like, that fucker was never around.
01:08:20.000 So like, you should see this guy doting on his kids.
01:08:23.000 It's like he's in the Justin Bieber fan club and his kids are Justin Bieber.
01:08:27.000 Like he worships them.
01:08:30.000 Very admirable.
01:08:31.000 He's an amazing dad because his dad was so shitty.
01:08:34.000 But for the most part, I think it's healthy to find someone whose parents are together because like my wife and I just go, we're having a really shitty year.
01:08:43.000 We're having a bad time.
01:08:45.000 We'll sleep in separate rooms or we won't talk to each other.
01:08:49.000 We'll just wait until this passes.
01:08:51.000 And it does pass.
01:08:56.000 Bestiality on a dad's laptop.
01:08:59.000 Yeah.
01:09:00.000 What happened?
01:09:02.000 Yeah, here we go.
01:09:03.000 I mean, someone found bestiality in their dad's laptop.
01:09:05.000 I think there would be a right of passion.
01:09:07.000 Like, there was always somebody that everyone watches bestiality on a daily basis.
01:09:13.000 I'm always jerking off to horses getting blown by a woman.
01:09:17.000 When I was 12, I found best yellow in my dad's laptop.
01:09:20.000 I'm now 24.
01:09:20.000 I never said a word.
01:09:21.000 Can't get over the fact that my father jerks off.
01:09:23.000 Well, did he, though?
01:09:24.000 Hold on a sec.
01:09:26.000 Right, you don't know that.
01:09:27.000 You should see the fucking shit cops send me.
01:09:30.000 It is, I always fall for it because it's a beautiful woman.
01:09:33.000 I click on it, and then it's someone, like someone diarrhea-ing on someone's face and a tranny.
01:09:41.000 I mean, I could never show you any of these videos.
01:09:43.000 And 100% of them are the most disgusting thing you've ever seen, like a diarrhea fight.
01:09:48.000 Well, before laptops, when we were teenagers growing up, there was always like somebody who had a VH, an old VH, and it was like, I think it was called Barnyard Follies.
01:09:57.000 Yeah, that rings the bell.
01:09:58.000 And they had like an 80-year-old man fucking a pig, and the pig's dick was curly like the pig's tail.
01:10:05.000 And then there was girls fucking, giving horses blow.
01:10:08.000 It's fucking hilarious.
01:10:09.000 But you're sitting there in like disgust, but you're glued to the fucking screen.
01:10:14.000 Yeah.
01:10:16.000 And nobody, I don't think anyone ever jerked off to me.
01:10:19.000 No one.
01:10:20.000 So for you to be disturbed by this, you'd have to see him jerking off to it.
01:10:29.000 Yeah.
01:10:30.000 You have to assume it's there for a joke.
01:10:32.000 Now, kiddie porn, of course, is a whole other story.
01:10:34.000 Because if anyone sent you kiddie porn, well, you'd instantly delete it and you'd go beat them up.
01:10:40.000 Is that it?
01:10:42.000 No.
01:10:42.000 Okay.
01:10:44.000 I have kids age 15, 12, and 1.
01:10:46.000 Tomorrow I'm going to get a vasectomy.
01:10:47.000 Please say a silent prayer for my balls.
01:10:50.000 Dude, I mean, shaka, songgu, to each his own taste, but I would never get a vasectomy if I had 100 kids.
01:10:58.000 I just don't like the concept, but I get that you're doing that, and at least you procreated.
01:11:05.000 Don't do it, dude.
01:11:07.000 Hey, Gavin, just jizz on her face.
01:11:09.000 I've been a fan of your content ever since my father told me about it six years ago.
01:11:12.000 You brought me a lot of important information, lots of laughs.
01:11:14.000 Today is one of the hardest days of my life.
01:11:16.000 My father passed away this afternoon.
01:11:18.000 Sorry to hear.
01:11:19.000 Sorry to hear, Dad.
01:11:20.000 Terrible.
01:11:20.000 I held his hand and stayed by his side at the hospital.
01:11:25.000 You're a good son.
01:11:26.000 That must be a doozy, sir.
01:11:29.000 The rest of the message Is here at the hospital for two days.
01:11:34.000 I was wondering if you could tell us a light-hearted story or a bonding moment that comes to mind when you think of your dad.
01:11:39.000 Keep up the fight.
01:11:39.000 Owen.
01:11:42.000 I mean, three days ago, I was sitting by the pool in Florida, and he was with a new friend, and we were both being sarcastic, and the superintendent came by and said, this is my boy.
01:11:55.000 And we were joking around, and the superintendent said, yeah, pretty obvious it's your boy.
01:12:00.000 And I said, it's fun hanging out with him.
01:12:01.000 It's like me with AIDS.
01:12:04.000 And then everyone laughed their heads off.
01:12:07.000 And I enjoyed that moment because I knew that, you know, I'd ingratiated myself with his friends.
01:12:13.000 And that was a good thing to do.
01:12:15.000 I don't know.
01:12:15.000 Proud boys came to meet us wearing all Proud Boys gear with Proud Boys' neck tattoos.
01:12:20.000 Did you see any manatees with your old friends?
01:12:22.000 Excuse me.
01:12:25.000 And then I thought that was great because he sees that we're not pariahs and there's a bond with this club where we, you know, see each other when we travel and stuff.
01:12:38.000 So those are all great memories.
01:12:40.000 But yes, Ryan does bring up something that was.
01:12:42.000 What happened?
01:12:44.000 Was it a good memory?
01:12:45.000 Was it...
01:12:46.000 No, it's not a good memory at all.
01:12:48.000 You don't like to walk through it again?
01:12:50.000 I will walk through it.
01:12:51.000 Because it's good content.
01:12:54.000 And I care more about this show than I do about my own reputation.
01:12:58.000 Maybe just get on your feet there, soldier, and maybe tell the story.
01:13:05.000 I cringed when you sent me that.
01:13:08.000 Why don't you just play the clip?
01:13:09.000 Because I was drunk.
01:13:11.000 I got shit-faced with my dad.
01:13:12.000 We planned to go to the aquarium the next day, and I said something to him that I don't know.
01:13:19.000 I woke up the next morning going, what?
01:13:23.000 Manatees?
01:13:25.000 Where the fuck did that come from?
01:13:27.000 What did he do when you said that?
01:13:30.000 Well, he was shit-faced too.
01:13:31.000 He was like, you know, like, I don't know.
01:13:33.000 Like, he might have gone like, what the fuck, boy?
01:13:39.000 But I sent you the clip, Ryan.
01:13:41.000 You could just play the clip.
01:13:43.000 Hey, I may have given Get On Your Feet Soldier run for its money.
01:13:49.000 I was just with my dad.
01:13:51.000 The kids went home, wife went home, and then we were just drinking beers at some weird, like, rock and roll bar.
01:13:58.000 And we're talking about going to the aquarium tomorrow.
01:14:02.000 And as we shook hands and I said goodnight, he was like, love you.
01:14:09.000 It's great to see you, pal.
01:14:10.000 I love you.
01:14:11.000 I was like, let me take you, Bob.
01:14:13.000 And then I go, as he's walking away, I go, let's check out some manatees.
01:14:21.000 No, it was worse than that, Gavin.
01:14:25.000 What?
01:14:27.000 I guess tomorrow at the aquarium, we'll see various animals, including manatees.
01:14:32.000 But that's how you say goodbye to your dad?
01:14:35.000 Oh, shit.
01:14:36.000 That's how you say goodbye to your dad?
01:14:39.000 All right, see you later.
01:14:40.000 Hey, tomorrow's going to be the day where we fucking check out the manatees and their big fucking tits.
01:14:51.000 Yeah, it was worse than that.
01:14:53.000 As I hugged him, what?
01:14:56.000 I said, let's see some manatees tomorrow.
01:14:59.000 Oh, who were you when you did that?
01:15:03.000 I've never heard...
01:15:03.000 You've done a lot of things.
01:15:05.000 I have no history with manatees.
01:15:06.000 I don't give a fuck about manatees.
01:15:08.000 They look like shitty walruses.
01:15:10.000 They don't even have the fangs.
01:15:11.000 I don't have any feelings about these.
01:15:13.000 They look like larvae.
01:15:14.000 Who likes manatees?
01:15:15.000 What do you see as man titties?
01:15:17.000 Yeah, they're manatees.
01:15:19.000 It's more of God's.
01:15:20.000 Animals are just God's garbage.
01:15:22.000 And what was Jim's response?
01:15:23.000 Nothing.
01:15:25.000 Because it was like a hug and then a walk away.
01:15:28.000 And then he whispered.
01:15:28.000 So for all I know, he's like, fucking monitor.
01:15:30.000 He whispered, I take it back.
01:15:33.000 Must be the drink, son.
01:15:37.000 I gotta say, though, my dad's locals suck.
01:15:42.000 They're not our local.
01:15:44.000 Our local has handicapped people, like that dude in the wheelchair.
01:15:50.000 He's some tuck.
01:15:50.000 Yeah, he comes in every now and then.
01:15:53.000 I'll see if I can find this.
01:15:55.000 My wife texted me a video of local bars and what they're like.
01:16:03.000 And it was like our bar.
01:16:06.000 And I realized my boxing gym and my local are a level of quality that is really hard to come by.
01:16:15.000 And I shouldn't take it for granted.
01:16:17.000 Like the boxing gym, 100% of the walls are covered with fucking little landmarks.
01:16:23.000 I don't think there's one inch of open wall space.
01:16:25.000 Not one inch.
01:16:26.000 And like, I'm going to work out today and this ex-mob strewed time for no shows.
01:16:32.000 You know, when you sit at the construction site and he's like, you go in there, stay out here like a real man.
01:16:38.000 When you're going to go fucking work out, when did you last spa?
01:16:42.000 And then I say to the owner of the gym, you've got these old bags.
01:16:46.000 Why don't you put them on their side?
01:16:47.000 I could make them into a couch and then people could put their shoes on and stuff on these like sideways old boxing bags because there's nowhere to put your shoes on.
01:16:57.000 And it's like, I don't want people sitting there, you fucking dildo.
01:17:01.000 Like the comedy is top-notch.
01:17:05.000 The fucking gym is real.
01:17:07.000 World championship training.
01:17:09.000 What?
01:17:09.000 Locker room banter.
01:17:11.000 Locker room banter is a bad thing.
01:17:13.000 And then, oh, I found it.
01:17:14.000 Oh, great.
01:17:15.000 Okay.
01:17:16.000 So I'm going to text this to you, Ryan.
01:17:19.000 So that's my boxing gym.
01:17:21.000 It's in a movie where they want to have an authentic boxing gym.
01:17:25.000 And it has been in movies.
01:17:28.000 And then my local bar is the same level of quality as this boxing gym.
01:17:35.000 And I go to, I love Florida.
01:17:37.000 I like New Smyrna Beach.
01:17:38.000 But I got to say, my dad's bars were like, the first one was blaring music, a cover band.
01:17:45.000 Oh, my fucking phone seems to have crashed.
01:17:52.000 Oh, God.
01:17:53.000 I was there that day.
01:17:55.000 Shit, this is a bad thing.
01:17:56.000 Was I not there yet?
01:18:00.000 Okay, great.
01:18:02.000 Sorry, I'm not doing a very good show here.
01:18:05.000 How do I send you this?
01:18:06.000 TikTok is so hard to send people shit to.
01:18:11.000 Copy.
01:18:12.000 In the meantime, check this out.
01:18:13.000 In the meantime!
01:18:15.000 Catsuper boy gave me $4.99.
01:18:18.000 So, honestly, I'm just going to read his comment call.
01:18:20.000 He says, everything about getting into birdwatching.
01:18:23.000 When I lived down south, we would always see the bird, which is the bald eagle.
01:18:29.000 I hate birdwatchers.
01:18:31.000 That's Opie's new studio.
01:18:33.000 Yeah.
01:18:33.000 I hate birdwatchers.
01:18:35.000 I hate birdwatchers.
01:18:37.000 He's trying to get a personality.
01:18:38.000 No, I don't.
01:18:39.000 And he's going with Oscar the Grouch.
01:18:41.000 No, it's not.
01:18:43.000 You don't, by the way, Opie, you don't hate Birdwatchers.
01:18:45.000 You're not familiar with them.
01:18:46.000 You don't have an opinion about them.
01:18:48.000 You feel the same way about them as Manatees.
01:18:51.000 Let's go see some.
01:18:52.000 They're not on your radar.
01:18:53.000 Can we make that a shirt?
01:18:54.000 It'll be like a vacation souvenir.
01:18:56.000 Patting him on the back.
01:18:57.000 Now I can indulge in how cringe it was.
01:18:59.000 And I was like, let's see some manatees tomorrow.
01:19:03.000 You're going to burp them?
01:19:04.000 I got the perfect.
01:19:05.000 Holy shit.
01:19:06.000 Got a little gas pad?
01:19:08.000 Dude, it says, let's go see some manatees.
01:19:10.000 Got a manatee on it.
01:19:11.000 On the back, it's got your handprints, like a hug handprint on the back.
01:19:16.000 Holy shit.
01:19:19.000 But go back to that.
01:19:22.000 So go back to the TikTok that I just sent you.
01:19:25.000 Because when I first moved to Westchester, I was looking at local dive bars.
01:19:29.000 I don't want to live in a town without a good dive bar.
01:19:32.000 I guess I could handle a bad boxing gym, but like there's one next to Anthony's studio that's a Muay Thai, Muay Thai place.
01:19:41.000 It's all clean and it's got no vibe.
01:19:44.000 Yeah, I saw that.
01:19:46.000 You might as well just get some bags in your garage at that point, right?
01:19:50.000 If there's not characters there.
01:19:51.000 Well, everybody's worried about germs.
01:19:55.000 Yeah, but there was, it's brand new.
01:19:57.000 It used to be a restaurant, so it's just got no vibe.
01:20:00.000 Okay, look at, this is, this is the perfect bar.
01:20:06.000 That's Lizzie.
01:20:08.000 Right?
01:20:10.000 The weird hot chick who doesn't belong there, but it belongs there.
01:20:14.000 I talked to her the other day.
01:20:15.000 Then there's the old guy.
01:20:16.000 That's, that's, uh, wait, I can name all these people.
01:20:20.000 Is that Joe?
01:20:23.000 What?
01:20:26.000 What happened?
01:20:26.000 The woman with the broken foot.
01:20:28.000 Is that me and Nick Rochefort as baby together?
01:20:32.000 That's in Ireland, I believe.
01:20:36.000 What's the reason for that guy's face?
01:20:38.000 See, you we might wasted and he's being funny.
01:20:42.000 That is pretty funny.
01:20:44.000 And like, I always say women don't belong in bars, but the women who do frequent bars, like you can tell with those two, they can take the horrible jokes, like doggy style.
01:20:51.000 Yeah.
01:20:52.000 This girl who comes into the bar, she was a big Coke dealer back in the day, and she grooms dogs, so we call her doggy style.
01:20:59.000 And Jose talks about her pussy all the time, and she laughs her head up.
01:21:02.000 Yeah.
01:21:02.000 Okay, so now go back to our local, one of our locals.
01:21:09.000 And it looks like that video.
01:21:12.000 Doesn't it?
01:21:13.000 Yeah.
01:21:14.000 And this.
01:21:16.000 Why am I not there?
01:21:18.000 I was standing right next to Gon.
01:21:21.000 You understand me?
01:21:22.000 I'm on a layer out.
01:21:24.000 Oh, there's everybody in there.
01:21:25.000 There's a fucking perfume.
01:21:27.000 Okay, so obviously the previous video was the highlight of the year.
01:21:31.000 And this was when my wife sent me that video, I sent her where I was at the time.
01:21:37.000 But it's pretty rare to find a good boxing gym and a good dive bar.
01:21:42.000 Although, you know, the dude at the gym was talking to me about this bar in Flushing, which if you're a tourist and you come to New York, you should check out Flushing.
01:21:56.000 It is 100% China.
01:22:00.000 Like, it's China.
01:22:03.000 You could take someone in China, inject some sort of 40-hour sleeping drug into their neck, put them on a plane, release them in Flushing, and not tell them they're in America, and they would not know.
01:22:14.000 Outside of the occasional stop sign and the street signs, it is fucking China.
01:22:22.000 China.
01:22:24.000 But just like Winnie's in Chinatown, which is this weird dive bar that plays karaoke, and it has Chinese people in like an Irish pub who don't like white people.
01:22:34.000 You go piss there and it says, go home, Whitey.
01:22:37.000 And you're like, dude, I'm, this is my place, actually.
01:22:41.000 You're Chinese.
01:22:43.000 But there's another one, I haven't checked it out yet.
01:22:45.000 I'll report back, that's in Flushing that is in all the dumpling spots and the toad things and the eat the turtles.
01:22:52.000 And you go down through all these, all the signs are Chinese.
01:22:54.000 There's no English anywhere.
01:22:56.000 But you go down this alleyway and you come into this tiny little pub that's as big as your bar that you're in now.
01:23:02.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:23:03.000 And it's like three white contractors and a guy with a Fu Manchu mustache.
01:23:10.000 And it's basically the same as an American bar in China.
01:23:14.000 Nice.
01:23:15.000 So I got to check that out.
01:23:16.000 But anyway, my name is Heather, but I go by Buttons.
01:23:19.000 My boyfriend is a PB.
01:23:20.000 It has been such a positive influence in our lives, and it couldn't be more grateful.
01:23:24.000 When we go out, he doesn't hide his tat and wears his gear often.
01:23:29.000 People look at him like he's a fucking unicorn because we were in rural New England.
01:23:33.000 Thank you, Buttons.
01:23:34.000 Okay, this is the letter I've been meaning to get to.
01:23:38.000 One of the best divorce letters I got.
01:23:42.000 It's a little long, so bear with me.
01:23:44.000 I'll try to speed it up.
01:23:47.000 Hello, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.
01:23:49.000 I'd like to email this email to be read live on the show if possible so I can get Maddie's input as well.
01:23:54.000 Your green screen segment on Tuesday really hit home.
01:23:57.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:23:58.000 My wife, 31, and I, 35, have serious problems.
01:24:03.000 Time for a backstory.
01:24:04.000 My wife's been married since 2015.
01:24:05.000 My wife and I have been married since 2015.
01:24:07.000 We did it for six years prior.
01:24:09.000 We've had two kids since being married.
01:24:11.000 My son is five and my daughter is two.
01:24:13.000 All right.
01:24:14.000 Your son is five, your daughter's two.
01:24:16.000 All bets are off.
01:24:18.000 You could be married to a dude at this point.
01:24:20.000 Go Google how to give a blow job at this point.
01:24:24.000 We own a house.
01:24:25.000 We're in no debt.
01:24:25.000 Blah, blah, blah.
01:24:26.000 Everything's great.
01:24:27.000 Our marriage has been fine until about six months ago.
01:24:29.000 I was working Two jobs.
01:24:31.000 He gets a lot of details in here.
01:24:33.000 I'm going to skim through.
01:24:34.000 So he was working a night shift, and it was good for him because they were making insane money, and he was getting sick of his office job.
01:24:41.000 And this job was, you know, more hands-on and blah, blah, blah.
01:24:49.000 So I thought it was the right move to leave my job and do this other job that pays way better, but it's way more hours.
01:24:57.000 And then my wife gets to do what she's passionate about.
01:24:59.000 We get a new house that fills our family better, size layout, everything's great.
01:25:03.000 Fast forward to July 22nd of this year, I went to work and received a text from the wife.
01:25:09.000 It said, in short, I feel we should separate.
01:25:13.000 Fucking a text?
01:25:16.000 Yeah, that's cowardice.
01:25:18.000 The explanation of the time from her was that she wasn't feeling the connection between us.
01:25:22.000 This goes back to that fucking article about the kitchens.
01:25:26.000 I'm haunted by this fucking article.
01:25:29.000 Honor is her name.
01:25:31.000 She's from the Atlantic.
01:25:33.000 That's ironic.
01:25:37.000 No honor in that text message.
01:25:40.000 Basically, I didn't do anything, but at the same time, I didn't do enough.
01:25:43.000 I agree, though, with the didn't do enough.
01:25:46.000 Women are magic, they're wizards, but wizards are kind of crazy.
01:25:50.000 And eventually, almost like the wizard on Adventure Time, who has a long beard, I think he's called like the Ice King or something.
01:25:58.000 Ryan probably knows.
01:25:59.000 I don't, actually.
01:26:01.000 You have to, like, not physically, literally slap them around, but you got to kind of grab the mad scientist once in a while and be like, no, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that.
01:26:10.000 But too often, because we're such great guys, us guys, she's like, I really feel like the house should be all pillows.
01:26:17.000 Like, all right, let's go get some pillows.
01:26:20.000 We'll go to bed, bath, and beyond.
01:26:22.000 We'll line the house floor to floor with pillows.
01:26:25.000 And then they're like, I can barely walk in here.
01:26:28.000 Why'd you let me do this?
01:26:30.000 So when your wife goes, I want wall-to-wall pillows, you go, nah.
01:26:34.000 You could have some extra pillows on the bed, I guess.
01:26:38.000 But if the wife just one day said, I'm unhappy, that means she sat there idly and said nothing, communicated no feelings to the man if he was going off track or she wasn't happy with the way or his new job was taking him away from the family or anything like that.
01:26:55.000 She just stays silent and says nothing.
01:26:58.000 I think that happened to me and it was like right now.
01:27:02.000 If somebody doesn't know that what they're doing offends you or bothers you, they don't know to stop it or change the behavior.
01:27:10.000 Yeah.
01:27:11.000 And every time he does it, it just builds up more resentment within her and he's like, I can't take this shit.
01:27:17.000 Fuck it, I'm out of here.
01:27:19.000 But if you just said, hey, you know, maybe you should try to get less hours or you like, you drive into the garage, you destroy the garage door again because you're drunk driving.
01:27:30.000 You puke all over the floor and then you leave before she wakes up.
01:27:34.000 And you get a text that says, I can't take this anymore.
01:27:37.000 This drinking is getting out of control.
01:27:39.000 I get that.
01:27:39.000 Right.
01:27:40.000 That's 100% there.
01:27:42.000 But if I got a text like this where my wife texted me and said, if I got it right now, I would go, we are having, I got to take care of something.
01:27:52.000 It's a family issue.
01:27:54.000 I'd have you guys finish the show.
01:27:55.000 And I would drive over there right now and be like, well, what the fuck's going on?
01:27:59.000 What'd you say?
01:28:03.000 I agree with her.
01:28:04.000 There are times we became lazier, complacent with our relationship, but I'm a very hands-on dad and was also getting used to being at home with our kids five days a week.
01:28:11.000 Oh, because he was working from home with the new job.
01:28:13.000 At this point, I made the wrong choice.
01:28:15.000 I gave her space.
01:28:17.000 I took care of the kids the majority of the time, and she took advantage.
01:28:20.000 She was around less and less, weekend trips with friends, drinking overnights.
01:28:25.000 Things start to get real fucking sketchy.
01:28:27.000 Yeah, and if this is in Florida, maybe meth was involved.
01:28:31.000 My wife and I, I could go, I go to Westfast and shit.
01:28:35.000 I go on Bender's, but it's announced months in advance.
01:28:40.000 I'm going to Scotland with my cousin in February.
01:28:43.000 I'm there for two days, and now she has a weekend.
01:28:47.000 She can go away.
01:28:48.000 Like we're in debt to each other.
01:28:51.000 But I don't get like 10 weekends away.
01:28:54.000 That happened to Chuck Zito.
01:28:56.000 I just kept taking weekends away without reciprocation.
01:29:01.000 Excuse me.
01:29:02.000 Come to find out she considers us separate and starts dating another guy.
01:29:07.000 She just assumed that they were separated?
01:29:09.000 Yeah.
01:29:10.000 He has kids, divorced, part-time parent.
01:29:14.000 He's got money, travels for work.
01:29:16.000 That's about all I know.
01:29:17.000 So I'm working through this, staying solid and consistent for the kids.
01:29:19.000 She gains new friends, isolates herself from all our mutual friends we've had for years, and none of them understand it and see it, although we've been shouting this from the rooftops.
01:29:32.000 So only the few I have talked with really know the full scope of things.
01:29:36.000 Moving forward through fall, we both get COVID, twist our schedule, work life.
01:29:41.000 At one point, we have another discussion in which she tells me the guy she's seeing isn't all he's cracked up to be.
01:29:48.000 Now she wants back in.
01:29:50.000 This is what I was screaming.
01:29:52.000 Divorce your husband and then in your head and then remarry him in your head.
01:29:58.000 Drippy toes seems like a great insult to me.
01:30:01.000 Example, Jared Holt is a loser.
01:30:02.000 I guarantee he's got drippy toes.
01:30:04.000 No, it's not a good insult.
01:30:08.000 He's an asshole to people, drinks more than he should.
01:30:10.000 We talk more.
01:30:11.000 Holidays were coming for a birthday, blah, blah, blah.
01:30:14.000 This guy's really getting into the details here.
01:30:17.000 Try to keep your letters a little more concise, please.
01:30:19.000 I don't need to know about Christmas.
01:30:22.000 Just draw a fucking picture.
01:30:23.000 Like, if you feel any sort of way inside, you know, you have to, like, get it out somehow.
01:30:30.000 And, like, the best way to express anything, I tell everybody.
01:30:33.000 Like, don't fucking tell me how you feel.
01:30:36.000 Like, fucking draw a picture.
01:30:37.000 Don't be a fucking idiot.
01:30:39.000 So, like, I drew this.
01:30:40.000 Like, this is the whole story right here.
01:30:42.000 I made this with piss.
01:30:44.000 That's shit.
01:30:46.000 Did the Hotsat draw a lot of pictures when you were living with them?
01:30:49.000 Oh, my God.
01:30:51.000 Yeah, a lot of pictures.
01:30:53.000 But they didn't use shit.
01:30:54.000 This is, I think that's blood.
01:31:02.000 We went on a date to a comedy show, had a hangout or two with our friends, partially working forward to getting things back together.
01:31:09.000 I was taking it slow.
01:31:10.000 Don't take it slow.
01:31:11.000 As it seemed, she didn't want my affection.
01:31:13.000 At this point, she had told me the guy she was seeing was done with, but she's still trying to figure out her life.
01:31:19.000 So she's already broken up with this guy.
01:31:22.000 Then here we are in January 2022.
01:31:25.000 We put the kids to bed one night, daughter in the kids' room, her and my son in the master bedroom.
01:31:29.000 I'm staying awake per usual for some downtime.
01:31:31.000 She smokes weed before bed most nights, and they giggle and talk before bed most nights.
01:31:36.000 Okay.
01:31:37.000 One time I was high, and my daughter was like four, and she goes, can you come in here, Dad?
01:31:44.000 Okay.
01:31:45.000 And she goes, I think I saw a giant shadow.
01:31:49.000 We were living in the city go across the buildings.
01:31:55.000 And I was like, what?
01:31:57.000 And she goes, it was like a walking stone man, but he was invisible.
01:32:03.000 And his shadow was still cast across the buildings.
01:32:07.000 And I'm like, holy fuck.
01:32:11.000 Like pulling her sheets up to my face.
01:32:14.000 She goes, and I feel the rocks were silently screaming at me.
01:32:17.000 Like they could scream into my head.
01:32:19.000 It sounded like screaming, but no one else could hear it.
01:32:22.000 Oh, my God.
01:32:24.000 That's the scariest shit I've ever heard.
01:32:28.000 Let's kill ourselves.
01:32:29.000 Suicide pact.
01:32:33.000 It's a little extreme.
01:32:36.000 This night, however, I only hear her talking.
01:32:38.000 I'm putting her to the door, and I begin to hear her flirting, breathy, stony conversation with the guy she was once dating.
01:32:45.000 After listening for a short period, my blood boiling, breathing short, I opened the door, let her know I heard everything, let out some words, and tried to keep from waking my five-year-old, laying extra on my, just say, get the fuck.
01:32:56.000 Get her.
01:32:57.000 Get her out of the room.
01:32:58.000 And you can yell in the other room.
01:33:01.000 I don't want my kids to see or hear me losing it since that's...
01:33:04.000 There's another good thing, too.
01:33:05.000 Like, you go through crazy phases where you're yelling and screaming at each other.
01:33:09.000 And without context and without parents, we're still together.
01:33:13.000 You go, well, we had a yelling, screaming fight.
01:33:16.000 I punched a hole in the wall.
01:33:17.000 She threw spaghetti at me.
01:33:19.000 It went out the kitchen window.
01:33:20.000 It smashed through the window.
01:33:22.000 We had to have a glass guy come.
01:33:25.000 That's the apocalypse.
01:33:26.000 You must be divorced.
01:33:28.000 But if you've grown up seeing your parents have those kind of fights and stay together, you go, yeah, we just had a crazy fucking fight.
01:33:36.000 That was a doozy.
01:33:37.000 Anyway, back to work.
01:33:39.000 Yep.
01:33:40.000 Since this, I've told her I want to finally divorce and have gathered the paperwork for an uncontested divorce.
01:33:46.000 After this confrontation and discussions, she has expressed how sorry she is, regrets it so much, and she wants to make things work.
01:33:57.000 This is back in July.
01:33:58.000 This is just like it was in July.
01:34:01.000 She's lost all my respect and trust as a partner, blah, blah, blah.
01:34:03.000 She's changed to a different person.
01:34:05.000 She wanted to separate.
01:34:06.000 She should have ended hours before starting another.
01:34:08.000 True.
01:34:08.000 I don't think I can try and stay together with this woman after the lying and taking advantage.
01:34:12.000 Shit, she's pulled.
01:34:14.000 Come out of here.
01:34:15.000 Bye.
01:34:15.000 I'm going to sound like a pussy for saying this, but I don't think you should throw the towel in just because she was making a dirty phone call.
01:34:25.000 I would fucking lose it if I heard my wife having a dirty phone call.
01:34:29.000 I don't know what would happen to the furniture in the house.
01:34:32.000 It would all go outside.
01:34:34.000 My fists would be black and blue from destroying things.
01:34:38.000 I wouldn't hurt her, but it would be huge.
01:34:43.000 But is that worth torturing your children for the rest of their lives?
01:34:47.000 She didn't fuck him.
01:34:48.000 And she said she regretted it.
01:34:50.000 And she was high.
01:34:52.000 Yeah, maybe you just get even on your own.
01:34:54.000 She assumed that they were separated and started dating someone.
01:34:58.000 Right, but then they were getting back together and they went on a date.
01:35:02.000 After that, she didn't like the guy and broke up with him.
01:35:04.000 Right, right.
01:35:04.000 She wanted back.
01:35:05.000 Well, now she wants to...
01:35:08.000 No, no, no.
01:35:09.000 Don't get me wrong.
01:35:10.000 It's terrible.
01:35:11.000 She changes spots.
01:35:12.000 It's terrible.
01:35:14.000 Well, I'm saying you can change the leopard's spots.
01:35:19.000 What if you just live your life?
01:35:21.000 What do you think he should do?
01:35:22.000 Should he just divorce her?
01:35:23.000 Yeah.
01:35:24.000 Really?
01:35:25.000 He said it right there.
01:35:26.000 He said, my trust and respect for her is gone.
01:35:30.000 I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.
01:35:33.000 You can't trust your partner.
01:35:34.000 There's nothing.
01:35:39.000 It could be a partnership, like a business thing, and then you just kind of live your own little life.
01:35:44.000 No, no, no, no, no.
01:35:46.000 You go get some sigh.
01:35:47.000 Like, where do you get?
01:35:47.000 You know, you're still David Cho.
01:35:49.000 When she was dating this guy, when she was assuming they're separated.
01:35:54.000 The beginning, though, when she was with the other guy, he's partly responsible for going, okay, you do you.
01:36:03.000 And I'll take care of the kids.
01:36:05.000 He didn't fight hard enough for her at the beginning.
01:36:08.000 She just wants someone to love her.
01:36:10.000 She wants someone to be passionate about her.
01:36:12.000 You know how horny my wife gets when I beat up people?
01:36:15.000 It hasn't happened often where she's been there, but twice I've been pounding a guy, and she's been almost trying to fuck me as I punch him.
01:36:24.000 Like, remember JL?
01:36:25.000 Yeah.
01:36:26.000 As I was pounding him, I don't know where the fuck she came from, but I think she was licking my ears or something.
01:36:31.000 Yeah, I thought she was going to be mad.
01:36:33.000 She knows that her man is standing up for her honoring.
01:36:35.000 Right.
01:36:36.000 They love that.
01:36:37.000 Of course.
01:36:38.000 So when you say, I agree with you, let's go to bed, Bathiana, get pillows coast to coast.
01:36:43.000 They go, nah.
01:36:44.000 This is like, they want a daddy at the end of the day.
01:36:47.000 Let's be honest.
01:36:48.000 And before, I never say this to my wife, but back before I had a daughter, I'd say, who's your daddy?
01:36:52.000 I'm your daddy.
01:36:53.000 Sometimes I would fuck girls and I'd say, I'd make them say, I'm your father, Gavin McInnes, or you're my father, Gavin McInnes, whatever it is.
01:37:02.000 And they would be like, fucking gushing.
01:37:04.000 Daddy bear.
01:37:05.000 Kinky bear.
01:37:06.000 Gushing.
01:37:08.000 So they like the daddy role.
01:37:10.000 And when you comply and acquiesce, it's a turnoff because you're not a good dad.
01:37:16.000 I'm talking about, you know, metaphorically here, the pillows.
01:37:21.000 Add to that, I'm certain she slept with this guy.
01:37:23.000 Yeah, yeah, of course she did.
01:37:24.000 100%.
01:37:25.000 And the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.
01:37:27.000 Yeah, of course it does.
01:37:28.000 I don't think I can be intimate with her again.
01:37:30.000 I get that.
01:37:32.000 Now, as I write this, she's staying at this guy's house while he's out of town.
01:37:36.000 Why'd you allow that?
01:37:37.000 Oh, no.
01:37:38.000 Like, you keep fucking.
01:37:40.000 It's done.
01:37:42.000 It's like a Thanksgiving turkey.
01:37:46.000 No bueno.
01:37:48.000 I don't want to sound like a fag, but I want this family to stay together.
01:37:53.000 I'm in our house.
01:37:54.000 We are bouncing the kids back and forth.
01:37:56.000 Oh, that must be great for them.
01:37:59.000 She works her 10-hour a week personal training wacky schedule.
01:38:03.000 I am working Monday to Thursday for one friend and his company around her wacky schedule.
01:38:07.000 Then Friday with my other buddy's company, the lucrative contract gig.
01:38:11.000 Bills are paid, and we're working around each other's shit.
01:38:14.000 I think she now understands how important it is to keep a family together after she told me she broke down into tears trying to say anything to our son.
01:38:22.000 There is nothing more important to me than my kids.
01:38:25.000 Crucial detail.
01:38:26.000 All I ever wanted after marriage is to build a family.
01:38:30.000 Okay, here's what we got to do.
01:38:33.000 You got to be honest with the kids and say mommy screwed up and she made some horrible mistakes and she kissed a guy.
01:38:39.000 I don't know, something like that.
01:38:40.000 Don't say that he sucked his cock and she anally raped him while she had a ball gag in her mouth.
01:38:46.000 They don't need to know that.
01:38:47.000 Too much information, Bear.
01:38:50.000 But stay together, forgive her, start calling the shots from now on.
01:38:56.000 You don't want to fuck her because she cheated on you.
01:38:59.000 I get that.
01:39:00.000 Stay in the same bed.
01:39:02.000 Have like, I re-watched the beginning of Nobody with Bob Odenkirk last night.
01:39:06.000 They had a pillow between them.
01:39:07.000 I don't know.
01:39:08.000 Put a pillow between you.
01:39:09.000 It's going to take like a year before you guys can have normal sex again, but you will have normal sex again.
01:39:14.000 So I disagree with Maddie.
01:39:16.000 I don't think this turkey's done.
01:39:17.000 The turkey's fucking severely damaged.
01:39:20.000 It's burnt.
01:39:21.000 It's burnt.
01:39:22.000 It's stuffed.
01:39:23.000 It's never going to walk again.
01:39:25.000 I'll tell you that much.
01:39:26.000 It's definitely in the oven, but we can pull it out of the oven and give it a heart transplant and do something with this.
01:39:34.000 There is hope for this.
01:39:37.000 So that's my two cents.
01:39:39.000 Because, like, what are you going to do after this divorce?
01:39:44.000 You're going to end up with a shitty her.
01:39:46.000 She's going to end up finding a shitty you.
01:39:49.000 They're going to be miserable.
01:39:50.000 They're going to have to spend time with other strangers' kids.
01:39:53.000 They're going to end up loving those kids.
01:39:55.000 It's out of sight, out of mind.
01:39:57.000 So you'll see your kids less and you'll love them less.
01:40:03.000 Sorry.
01:40:04.000 You don't see your kids for fucking eight years?
01:40:08.000 You love them less than if you saw them every day.
01:40:11.000 I hope I'm not disparaging Maddie who was in prison forever.
01:40:14.000 Yeah.
01:40:17.000 You want to rock through these chats?
01:40:20.000 Hey, Gav, could really use some advice.
01:40:22.000 Early 20s, and one year ago, I was on top of the mountain.
01:40:25.000 But after some dodgy cannabis, all I've got, permanent neurological damage causing constant nerve pain.
01:40:33.000 Can no longer walk, go to the gym, train MMA, and life has pretty much been wrecked.
01:40:40.000 I don't know.
01:40:41.000 We can get Donovan Crip Daddy to give you some information on that.
01:40:45.000 Yeah, let me take that back.
01:40:46.000 Because there's things to live on.
01:40:47.000 I don't care about that guy.
01:40:48.000 So you took some weird weed.
01:40:49.000 What am I, fucking Dr. Gabby?
01:40:51.000 What am I five?
01:40:55.000 Obviously, Maddie loves his son just as much as if he saw him every day.
01:40:59.000 But I've seen with these marriages where they switch families, they start loving these other kids.
01:41:07.000 And I shouldn't have said you love them less, but they get less love, I guess, is what I should have said.
01:41:12.000 That's one of the reasons I never had children again.
01:41:17.000 Because I didn't want my son to be in my life and see me being around for another child.
01:41:25.000 Yeah.
01:41:26.000 Yeah, that must be horrible.
01:41:28.000 Yeah.
01:41:28.000 Like those dads who abandon their family, like with my kids' ages, 9, 13, 15, and then 16, and then they get a new family, some Asian chick, and then they have a baby, and then like your daughter sees you,
01:41:44.000 like, holding this baby and talking about, like, Veronica's birthday.
01:41:49.000 Yeah.
01:41:52.000 My ex got remarried and had more children, but I never did because I didn't want to put him.
01:41:58.000 But wasn't he living with your ex?
01:42:00.000 Yeah.
01:42:00.000 So those were his stepsiblings?
01:42:02.000 Yes.
01:42:03.000 Half.
01:42:04.000 Half stepsiblings?
01:42:05.000 That's a quarter step sibling.
01:42:07.000 No, the step is when there's no relation.
01:42:10.000 Oh.
01:42:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:42:12.000 Yeah.
01:42:13.000 They're half-brother, half-sister.
01:42:14.000 You already showed me that Chris Hines one, dude.
01:42:16.000 Let's take a call.
01:42:18.000 All right.
01:42:19.000 Oh, this is from Beard Vet.
01:42:20.000 $100.
01:42:21.000 Couldn't be more proud to sponsor the show.
01:42:23.000 Hope this helps.
01:42:24.000 Semper 5, do or die.
01:42:26.000 That's a very clever way to get an ad read in there, my friend.
01:42:30.000 That's a very...
01:42:31.000 Obviously, he was in the Marine Corps.
01:42:32.000 Yeah.
01:42:33.000 Tactical.
01:42:34.000 That was a flank.
01:42:35.000 Got flanked.
01:42:36.000 Oh, nice one.
01:42:37.000 Beard Vet duked us.
01:42:40.000 Learning bear.
01:42:41.000 Boombox.
01:42:42.000 Any advice for a guy and his wife still living in Commie, Canada?
01:42:45.000 Also, have you ever wanted to visit...
01:42:47.000 I've always wanted to visit PEI.
01:42:49.000 I will visit PEI.
01:42:50.000 What's PEI?
01:42:50.000 Prince Edward Island.
01:42:51.000 Prince Edward Island.
01:42:52.000 It's all Scottish DNA over there.
01:42:54.000 No, that's cool.
01:42:55.000 Yeah, I don't know why I haven't.
01:42:57.000 I've never been on the East Coast.
01:42:59.000 7-12, you're on the line.
01:43:00.000 7-1-2, on the line.
01:43:03.000 Go ahead, Carlin.
01:43:04.000 Hello.
01:43:05.000 Hello?
01:43:05.000 Hello?
01:43:06.000 What's going on?
01:43:08.000 Yeah, I was calling about the intro to the show.
01:43:10.000 I was always fascinated with how you used to have the boom box blend into the actual boom box.
01:43:16.000 And I was feeling like you could still do that, like have it on a stand, and then like when the show cuts in from the intro, there's that boom box right there.
01:43:25.000 Maybe you pick it off the stand, you walk it to your desk, and then shut it off, and that's all it's called.
01:43:29.000 Maybe I'll chat you like 50 bucks if you can like do it for one episode.
01:43:32.000 That's a fucking...
01:43:34.000 That's happening tomorrow, sir.
01:43:36.000 Bam.
01:43:36.000 Yeah, we put on the stand and line it up.
01:43:38.000 That's a great idea.
01:43:39.000 You know what I might be able to do?
01:43:40.000 I can hang it with like a rope.
01:43:43.000 Because it'll have to be suspended pretty big, right?
01:43:46.000 Yeah, or just close to the camera.
01:43:48.000 No, I'll put it on like a stepladder.
01:43:50.000 By the way, thanks for calling.
01:43:51.000 I'll put it on a stepladder, and then I'll turn it off and put it on the ground out of the shot, and then I'll walk around here.
01:43:58.000 Okay.
01:43:59.000 I like that.
01:43:59.000 Nice.
01:44:00.000 Good tip, sir.
01:44:02.000 All right.
01:44:03.000 We said, thanks for calling.
01:44:05.000 773, you're on the line.
01:44:08.000 Please turn down the show.
01:44:09.000 Yep.
01:44:12.000 You're on.
01:44:13.000 Yeah, Ron.
01:44:14.000 What up, dog?
01:44:16.000 Ready?
01:44:17.000 Yes.
01:44:18.000 all right, I'm ready too.
01:44:19.000 Yeah.
01:44:20.000 All right, I got three ideas.
01:44:22.000 What do you think?
01:44:23.000 I think they're great.
01:44:26.000 Yeah.
01:44:28.000 No, all right.
01:44:30.000 You get three ideas.
01:44:33.000 You choose, Gavin.
01:44:35.000 Okay.
01:44:36.000 So this is an ultimatum, but it's got three instead of two.
01:44:40.000 The three ideas, they can't be related.
01:44:44.000 And so I have three ideas.
01:44:48.000 All right, thanks for calling.
01:44:50.000 That was great.
01:44:50.000 You don't want to hear what that is?
01:44:51.000 It's a joker or something.
01:44:54.000 Shut up, Brian.
01:44:55.000 I control the show.
01:44:56.000 You want to do your own show?
01:44:57.000 Do your own show.
01:44:58.000 That seemed interesting.
01:44:59.000 Chris calling about Sean.
01:45:00.000 No, no, no.
01:45:01.000 I want to read a letter now.
01:45:03.000 Oh.
01:45:04.000 Oh, okay.
01:45:05.000 Okay, we'll talk to you, Chris.
01:45:06.000 What's up?
01:45:08.000 Hey, Gab, I'm calling about...
01:45:10.000 Do you know the former NHL player, Sean Avery?
01:45:16.000 No.
01:45:16.000 Is he black?
01:45:17.000 He was like, no, he's white.
01:45:19.000 He was a shit disturbing.
01:45:20.000 You'd love him, dude.
01:45:22.000 He had Roger Stone on his podcast like two months ago, and he's fairly far right, but he just left New York for L.A. to kind of do an acting thing.
01:45:31.000 He's got a, like I said, he's got a killer podcast, but I think he really vibed with him.
01:45:36.000 He's familiar.
01:45:37.000 Oh, yeah, I know this dude, Rangers guy.
01:45:40.000 Yeah, he's got the rule.
01:45:41.000 He has a rule, his own rule in the NHL for fucking with goalies.
01:45:45.000 They implement a rule overnight because of him.
01:45:48.000 And what is it?
01:45:49.000 No stabbing the goalies?
01:45:52.000 He turned his back.
01:45:53.000 He's the first player ever to turn his back to the play.
01:45:56.000 And he was fucking with Mark Andrew Dur.
01:45:58.000 He's putting his hands in front of the goalie's face so that they could get a deflection in.
01:46:02.000 And overnight, the next game they played him, it was in the playoffs overnight.
01:46:06.000 They made the Sean Avery rule.
01:46:09.000 He's not allowed to turn your back to the play.
01:46:12.000 It's fucking sick.
01:46:13.000 So what's your question?
01:46:15.000 Well, I don't know.
01:46:16.000 Like, maybe he talks about he's like a retired NHL or he wants to go back this year.
01:46:23.000 But he's totally MAGA, loves Trump.
01:46:25.000 And I think you and him would have a fucking unbelievable rapport because I listened to his show and your show and you guys were.
01:46:31.000 All right, let's try to get him on the show.
01:46:33.000 Thanks for calling.
01:46:33.000 Identical.
01:46:34.000 Okay.
01:46:35.000 You're going to hit a mailbag again?
01:46:36.000 We got super chats, people paid for, and people waiting on the line for hours.
01:46:40.000 Maybe we could do the mailbag.
01:46:42.000 No, I got to finish this because it's the same subject.
01:46:45.000 Oh, the divorce thing.
01:46:45.000 Yeah.
01:46:46.000 Again, Ryan, I'm conducting this show.
01:46:49.000 I'm smarter than you.
01:46:51.000 I have a grand plan here.
01:46:53.000 I'm not reading a letter that's like, hey man, have you ever tried licorice?
01:46:58.000 Okay?
01:47:00.000 There's a method to the madness.
01:47:05.000 Read the woke up.
01:47:07.000 Re the we broke up couple.
01:47:10.000 I go through the same shit every month.
01:47:11.000 My wife says she wants to be happy and why don't I let her be happy and I should have a better woman and the divorce would be good for the kids because they won't see us fighting that much and why don't I let her do what she wants and I'm too angry, etc.
01:47:24.000 I don't give an inch.
01:47:26.000 Ooh.
01:47:28.000 My standard response is that if she's so inclined to divorce, she's welcome to take the door, but that I won't abandon my three kids one month, one week, or one day.
01:47:37.000 She never leaves and she won't leave because she doesn't want a divorce.
01:47:41.000 She wants to see me fight for our marriage whenever things are too hard or we argue too much and we lose track of each other.
01:47:51.000 Here's another thing.
01:47:54.000 When you're fucking women, it doesn't look like a feminist video for mutual love.
01:48:02.000 Let me say it that way.
01:48:04.000 Sometimes, if you were to peer through the window, you might be inclined to call the police.
01:48:10.000 If you did call the police, you'd have an angry couple with red cheeks and come on them from a particularly raunchy sexual episode.
01:48:20.000 So men are pretty much like, I don't mind like getting hurt when I'm doing labor and with sex, you know, I don't mind hurting you, but don't bite me and shit.
01:48:34.000 But with women, it's not all like massages and smooches.
01:48:40.000 Sometimes they like an element of danger.
01:48:42.000 Sometimes they want to not know if they're going to live or not tonight.
01:48:46.000 Now, this sounds terrible coming from me, so check out the stand-up comedy of that pregnant gook who just got married.
01:48:53.000 She talks about like, look, I'm in control all day, everything's fine.
01:48:57.000 I want to be scared when I fuck you.
01:49:00.000 So sexually, women like an element of danger, and they want it to be rough sometimes.
01:49:07.000 Similarly, I think in the relationship, they might enjoy the fight.
01:49:11.000 They might enjoy the threat of divorce.
01:49:14.000 They might enjoy and find a loving sort of warmth in being disciplined.
01:49:21.000 I know I sound like a 50s fucking sexist here.
01:49:24.000 I'm not talking about slapping them around, although there might be an argument for that in certain contexts.
01:49:29.000 But they might like the like, I want to leave you.
01:49:33.000 You know, like when a newly adopted kid is acting out to see if the parents really love him?
01:49:39.000 She might be like, I want to get divorced.
01:49:40.000 I hate this place.
01:49:42.000 To see if you're like, oh, okay.
01:49:44.000 Well, bye.
01:49:45.000 Can I still see the kids?
01:49:46.000 Yeah.
01:49:47.000 No, not anymore.
01:49:49.000 But when you go, I want to get divorced.
01:49:51.000 I hate this place.
01:49:51.000 Shut the fuck up and sit down.
01:49:53.000 What are you talking about?
01:49:54.000 And don't talk like that in front of the kids ever again.
01:49:57.000 Ooh, he loves me.
01:50:01.000 This is especially true of black chicks.
01:50:02.000 I used to fuck black chicks where they would be like, tell me how jealous you are.
01:50:06.000 And I had to pretend because I didn't really give a shit who they fucked because I was 29.
01:50:13.000 She never leaves.
01:50:14.000 She won't leave because she doesn't want a divorce.
01:50:15.000 She wants to see me fight for our marriage.
01:50:18.000 Dude, that's the episode.
01:50:20.000 That's the title of the episode.
01:50:22.000 Fight for your marriage.
01:50:24.000 I gotta make a note of that to myself.
01:50:28.000 Fight for your marriage.
01:50:34.000 Whenever things are too hard or we argue too much and we lose track of each other, the fights appear to be serious, but I don't let them affect me too much.
01:50:40.000 I can see nothing.
01:50:42.000 And then he has quotes: The fights are bad for the kids.
01:50:46.000 Imagine what a divorce would do to them, he responds.
01:50:50.000 Next quote, you were not happy.
01:50:52.000 And then he responds, happier than you, bitch.
01:50:54.000 Just kidding.
01:50:55.000 That's not why I'm here.
01:50:56.000 Yeah, that's another thing.
01:50:58.000 This idea of like, I need to be happy all the time.
01:51:01.000 What are we in Disneyland?
01:51:03.000 Like, the greatest generation, the World War II generation, if you asked your grandfather, or that's me, in your case, it would be your great-grandfather, or maybe even your great-great-grandfather, hey, are you happy, Jimmy McInnes?
01:51:19.000 He'd be like, what?
01:51:20.000 What do you mean?
01:51:21.000 Like, they didn't think about that.
01:51:23.000 Are you fulfilled at your job at the printing press company, at the newspaper factory?
01:51:30.000 What, what?
01:51:31.000 Fulfilled?
01:51:32.000 What's fulfilled mean?
01:51:34.000 Like, it never occurred to them.
01:51:36.000 Do you want to feel the wind in your hair?
01:51:39.000 Do you want to feel the sun on your face?
01:51:41.000 What?
01:51:43.000 Like, they didn't even understand the concept of self.
01:51:46.000 What's Jimmy feeling?
01:51:47.000 How are you?
01:51:48.000 He's like, there's my family.
01:51:49.000 There's my wife.
01:51:51.000 There's my bills.
01:51:52.000 That's all.
01:51:54.000 I'm not saying that's utopia.
01:51:55.000 We've improved since then in many senses.
01:51:58.000 Like, I clearly have a self.
01:52:00.000 But if I'm depressed for like a month, I go, I guess I'm depressed for a month.
01:52:06.000 It's like having a hemorrhoid.
01:52:07.000 In a funk.
01:52:08.000 I'm in a funk.
01:52:09.000 Work through it.
01:52:10.000 My hemorrhoid will go away.
01:52:12.000 The depression will go away.
01:52:14.000 You don't let me do what I want, he has in quotes.
01:52:16.000 And then he responds, you do what you want more than you know.
01:52:20.000 And then in quotes, we don't do anything fun, in quotes.
01:52:23.000 Yes, we do.
01:52:24.000 Our kids are incredibly fun.
01:52:26.000 And we'll have more fun.
01:52:27.000 Just hang in there.
01:52:29.000 Great quote.
01:52:30.000 Great response, I should say.
01:52:32.000 And then he says, et cetera.
01:52:34.000 And he goes, I feel terrible for that family, for that guy, and the idiotic mistakes he's making.
01:52:40.000 And for their kids, and even for the bitch.
01:52:43.000 In fact, I wish their breaking up was a ruse to capture more views.
01:52:47.000 Let it be so.
01:52:50.000 I mean, that's the fucking show right there, folks.
01:52:55.000 All right, let's.
01:52:56.000 I will hastily accept another call, but I'm worried that it's going to ruin this fantastic ending.
01:53:10.000 636, you're on the line.
01:53:14.000 A lot of pressure, 636.
01:53:20.000 Hello.
01:53:21.000 Hello.
01:53:24.000 Is that me?
01:53:25.000 Is it me?
01:53:26.000 It's you!
01:53:27.000 636!
01:53:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:29.000 That's me.
01:53:30.000 That's me.
01:53:32.000 I didn't really even really have a question.
01:53:34.000 I was just calling event because I've just been sitting here just getting pissed off.
01:53:38.000 Every day I get more and more pissed off because I used to just be the type, you know, live and let live.
01:53:44.000 And the more and more, you know, every single day these people are pushing farther.
01:53:48.000 I'm just curious, what is Gavin's, what's the word I'm looking for?
01:53:56.000 When would violence ensue?
01:53:58.000 At what point?
01:53:58.000 When does he say enough is enough?
01:54:01.000 But what do you mean violence?
01:54:03.000 Like, I grab a gun and just start shooting up the streets and falling down?
01:54:08.000 No, no.
01:54:10.000 Like with the vaccines and with everything going on and the mandate, at what point, like, what's the tipping point?
01:54:18.000 When do people like, yeah, I mean, I don't want to use violence.
01:54:23.000 I'm not saying I want to do that or to do that.
01:54:25.000 I'm just saying when does that happen?
01:54:28.000 Well, I think it happens on a small scale.
01:54:30.000 Like with Proud Boys and Violence, it was Ann Coulter's doing a talk.
01:54:35.000 You showed up to disrupt it.
01:54:37.000 You shoved some people were shoving you back.
01:54:40.000 Like they waited for violence to start before they fought back with violence.
01:54:46.000 As far as like storming the Capitol, storming the parliament buildings, that's way down the fucking line.
01:54:54.000 How could it possibly be effective?
01:54:56.000 What I think is really effective in Canada right now is happening.
01:55:04.000 50,000 trucks going from Vancouver to Ottawa.
01:55:08.000 That's a hell of a lot more effective than storming the Capitol and committing acts of vandalism and trespassing, which, again, I'm not saying was the end of the world.
01:55:20.000 I just think it was ineffective.
01:55:22.000 But this is effective.
01:55:24.000 Look at this.
01:55:26.000 And just like Cuomo, both Cuomos, Justin Trudeau is obsessed with the way he's perceived.
01:55:35.000 He's a megalomaniac who wants to be seen as this cool prime minister.
01:55:42.000 And that just ruined his reputation in one fell swoop.
01:55:45.000 So I couldn't, it's hard to think of a better way to fight back than what they did in Canada with that convoy.
01:55:54.000 First step is go out and vote in the primaries.
01:55:56.000 Yeah.
01:55:57.000 Also, local politics, too.
01:55:59.000 Local politics are key right now.
01:56:02.000 Yes.
01:56:03.000 All right.
01:56:04.000 Thanks for calling.
01:56:05.000 All right.
01:56:05.000 Last one is going to be a letter.
01:56:07.000 Hey, Dildo's, that green screen was spot on for our current situation.
01:56:10.000 That bitch cares more about how masses of people see her than she cares about her own family.
01:56:16.000 Anytime that dude grows some nuts, she cuts him off, but then continues to point out the shitty things he did.
01:56:22.000 She got super defensive about him dating and the strip club.
01:56:25.000 What a miserable cunt.
01:56:26.000 My wife and I have only been married for a year.
01:56:28.000 We've had some battles.
01:56:30.000 And by the way, it's worth noting, too, when you're married, most of your big fights are in the first five years.
01:56:37.000 Like I look back at some of the fights my wife and I had in our first five years and I'm just like, what the fuck?
01:56:45.000 Like screaming outside in the rain, yelling at each other.
01:56:49.000 She bought a tree and then told me to plant it in the rain.
01:56:53.000 And I was like, I don't know why you bought this tree.
01:56:55.000 No apple tree is going to grow over in that spot.
01:56:58.000 And why do you got up with these, you come up with these whims and now it's my job to dig a fucking hole at, you know, this tree is going to be dead tomorrow.
01:57:06.000 So I have to do it tonight.
01:57:08.000 And I go, you fucking do it.
01:57:10.000 So I had her dig a giant hole in the pouring rain.
01:57:13.000 Nice.
01:57:13.000 And she's drenched.
01:57:14.000 She's like, Why do you hate me?
01:57:16.000 Like, it was a fucking doozy.
01:57:18.000 And I look back at that now, and I just would have been like, All right, I'll plant this tree, but you owe me like a hundred blowjobs.
01:57:25.000 Exactly.
01:57:25.000 Oh, and I said, I said, vote for the primaries.
01:57:28.000 Vote in the midterms.
01:57:30.000 Right, right, right.
01:57:33.000 But all local politics, like even much smaller than the midterms, are the only way to take this country back.
01:57:40.000 Mayors, like, look at New York.
01:57:42.000 Look at Eric Adams and hiring his brother.
01:57:45.000 And it's fucking Zimbabwe over here.
01:57:47.000 It's just a bunch of black people voting in other black people based on race.
01:57:52.000 It's pathetic.
01:57:54.000 Can you tell my kid happy birthday?
01:57:55.000 Happy birthday, Caden.
01:57:57.000 Happy birthday.
01:57:59.000 Happy birthday.
01:58:00.000 Or as Larry Barnes said at the gym the other day, he goes to someone whose birthday it was.
01:58:04.000 He goes, happy birthday, man.
01:58:06.000 Happy birthday to you and your family.
01:58:11.000 What?
01:58:12.000 They all share the same birthday?
01:58:14.000 Absolutely.
01:58:15.000 This is a good question, I think.
01:58:16.000 You know what he said the other day?
01:58:17.000 He's like, I don't know, man.
01:58:19.000 Fucking now I make it in Italian.
01:58:22.000 He goes, yo, I don't know.
01:58:25.000 I can't do a black accent for some reason.
01:58:27.000 But he goes, Will Smith, Queen Latifah, I don't know about Denzel.
01:58:33.000 Kerry Washington.
01:58:35.000 All those Hollywood niggas.
01:58:38.000 Something happened to them.
01:58:39.000 I don't know if they sucked a dick or if they ate a pussy, but something went nuts with them.
01:58:46.000 That would drive someone nuts.
01:58:47.000 Okay.
01:58:48.000 She got super defensive, blah, blah.
01:58:50.000 My wife and I have, sorry, and so battles, but no one in hell would I divorce, especially with the baby three weeks away.
01:58:56.000 Yep.
01:58:59.000 Okay.
01:59:00.000 Are we good?
01:59:01.000 I think so.
01:59:02.000 This is the last one.
01:59:03.000 Okay.
01:59:03.000 G'day, Gav.
01:59:04.000 I'm interested to know whether you would do the same thing as Norm McDonald in his medical situation.
01:59:09.000 You keep your...
01:59:09.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:59:13.000 I mean, if it was relatively mild, it might be funny.
01:59:16.000 Like when Tom Green had his ball removed.
01:59:21.000 He filmed it.
01:59:22.000 Remember that?
01:59:23.000 Yeah, that was funny.
01:59:24.000 Testicular cancer.
01:59:25.000 But if it was like, you're fucking dead, like no way.
01:59:31.000 Then I think I would just do as many good shows as I can and then say, I got to go, I'm dying of cancer and then disappear.
01:59:39.000 You didn't just die?
01:59:39.000 Like Billy Connolly.
01:59:41.000 He got Parkinson so bad that no one wanted to look at him because it was sad.
01:59:46.000 And he said, I get it.
01:59:47.000 I'd be sad too.
01:59:48.000 And he stopped doing interviews and he vanished.
01:59:52.000 Can you stop yawning on the show?
01:59:54.000 He's dying of heart failure.
01:59:56.000 Yeah.
01:59:56.000 Okay.
01:59:58.000 I mean, it's been a rough day.
02:00:00.000 I'm not trying to.
02:00:02.000 Maddie won't do the Norm McDonald route.
02:00:04.000 Yeah.
02:00:06.000 As he has.
02:00:07.000 My illness is pretty well documented.
02:00:11.000 All right, we're five minutes over.
02:00:12.000 What's this?
02:00:13.000 Shoot the boar.
02:00:18.000 This is Eric Adams.
02:00:22.000 In the beginning.
02:00:24.000 Yeah.
02:00:25.000 It's beg.
02:00:26.000 It's B-E-G.
02:00:28.000 Beg.
02:00:30.000 Beginning.
02:00:31.000 I'm sing some benigging here.
02:00:32.000 Beg.
02:00:34.000 Inning.
02:00:38.000 No, forget in the beg inning.
02:00:44.000 You know, like, baseballs have innings?
02:00:47.000 No.
02:00:48.000 In a Dagata De Vita.
02:00:52.000 That's where we're headed in New York.
02:00:53.000 That's what affirmative action does.
02:00:55.000 Supreme Court judge, I don't care what her politics are.
02:00:58.000 Make her a she and make her black.
02:01:01.000 Oh.
02:01:03.000 Did you see the good point they brought up about Manchin and what's the other Democratic Simonin?
02:01:13.000 Yeah.
02:01:14.000 Now, after they've been thrown under the bus and had their names smeared because they didn't do the build back better and all that, now they need them to be friends so they can get their Supreme Court pick into the Supreme Court.
02:01:28.000 Have you heard this crazy theory that's not so crazy?
02:01:31.000 We make Kamala Harris the Supreme Court judge.
02:01:35.000 Now there's an opening for VP.
02:01:37.000 Hillary becomes VP.
02:01:40.000 Everything's going great for three or four months.
02:01:43.000 Then, unfortunately, Joe has to stepped down.
02:01:46.000 Hillary Clinton becomes a- That would be a nightmare.
02:01:49.000 I mean, when someone brought that up today in my little chat, my MAGA dad chat, I was like, okay, but that's Zimbabwe.
02:01:56.000 That's third world shit.
02:01:57.000 Like, Mugabe gave Zimbabwe to his secretary because she was pretty after he died.
02:02:03.000 He willed her the leading position as president.
02:02:07.000 But it's conceivable.
02:02:11.000 Yeah, especially in this clown world.
02:02:13.000 Yeah, because look at New York City.
02:02:15.000 Yeah.
02:02:15.000 Eric Adams, all his affirmative action hires.
02:02:18.000 Cops are getting killed.
02:02:20.000 He goes to Albany.
02:02:20.000 He says, can we change the laws?
02:02:22.000 They go, fuck you.
02:02:23.000 These murderers are black and we back them.
02:02:25.000 So we've already tasted Zimbabwe.
02:02:28.000 Yeah.
02:02:29.000 Oh, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
02:02:32.000 So the most you can do, folks, is hold on to your marriage.
02:02:37.000 If the country falls apart, that's one thing.
02:02:39.000 If your marriage falls apart, that's far worse.
02:02:42.000 Don't let these people destroy everything around us.
02:02:47.000 And don't let it affect you.
02:02:50.000 You know, who the president is, it's alarming, it's distressing.
02:02:54.000 I'm not bananas about this clown show that is running New York City right now, but it doesn't really directly affect my children.
02:03:01.000 My wife leaving me directly affects my children.
02:03:05.000 So let's focus on what's really important, and that is your immediate family.
02:03:10.000 Don't break up.
02:03:12.000 Hold on to it.
02:03:13.000 Black Lives Matter wants to dismantle the nuclear family.
02:03:16.000 The nuclear family is paramount.
02:03:19.000 Get fired.
02:03:19.000 Get in trouble.
02:03:20.000 Be brave.
02:03:21.000 And never stop fighting.