Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #134 - BROTHER OTTAWA

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:21.000 Cut my hair.

00:00:28.000 It happened just the other day.

00:00:34.000 It's getting kind of long.

00:00:40.000 I could have said it wasn't my way, but I did.

00:00:48.000 And I walked away.

00:00:51.000 David Crosby did not cut his hair.

00:00:54.000 Letting my freak flake fly if I. What an absolute masterpiece.

00:01:08.000 That was David Crosby.

00:01:10.000 I believe, I'm not sure that was the Birds or Crosby Stills Nash and Young, but that's around 1970.

00:01:19.000 Yeah, I think it's Crosby Stills Nash and Young.

00:01:22.000 I think that's our debut album.

00:01:23.000 And he wrote that smash hit.

00:01:27.000 I almost cut my hair.

00:01:28.000 And who could do without it?

00:01:30.000 It's the origin of wave your freak flag high, or at least would put it on the map.

00:01:37.000 And David Crosby is threatening to remove classics such as that from Spotify if we don't get rid of Joe Rogan.

00:01:48.000 That's a fate worse than death.

00:01:49.000 Can you imagine being without that song?

00:01:52.000 Me?

00:01:52.000 Hell no.

00:01:54.000 It's the greatest song.

00:01:56.000 It's so catchy.

00:01:57.000 I mean, I could just hum it right now.

00:02:02.000 I almost cut my hair, but I didn't.

00:02:09.000 Okay, admittedly, I forgot it already because it fucking sucks.

00:02:15.000 Suck my dick. 1.00

00:02:16.000 Okay, boomer, remove your songs. 0.88

00:02:19.000 We don't give a shit.

00:02:21.000 Welcome back, Maddie Odell.

00:02:24.000 What's up, everybody?

00:02:25.000 Good to see you.

00:02:25.000 Good to have you.

00:02:26.000 How are you?

00:02:26.000 How are you feeling, Maddie?

00:02:27.000 I'm all right, not bad.

00:02:28.000 Had a long day.

00:02:30.000 I understand you had some unfortunate chicken recently.

00:02:34.000 Yeah.

00:02:35.000 Didn't sit well.

00:02:37.000 But I had a rough day, had a long day, broke down, sat on the side of the highway for a little bit.

00:02:41.000 Then I was pulled over.

00:02:43.000 You know, good stuff.

00:02:44.000 Now, why did you call Bill when you got pulled over?

00:02:47.000 Unreliable Bill and not me?

00:02:50.000 No, no, I broke down.

00:02:51.000 Well, I had to wait for a tow truck.

00:02:52.000 It was a heavy truck.

00:02:54.000 But why didn't you call me?

00:02:56.000 Well, I called him when I was back in my own personal vehicle.

00:03:00.000 Oh, I see.

00:03:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:01.000 Okay.

00:03:02.000 When I was waiting for the tow truck and everything by myself.

00:03:05.000 And I ran into you on the street when you were in your truck and we spoke for, I think, four seconds.

00:03:10.000 About that.

00:03:10.000 And then I was pulled over for stopping and blocking traffic.

00:03:14.000 Because I want to talk to my dear buddy Gavin.

00:03:17.000 No good.

00:03:18.000 Don't let me go, though.

00:03:19.000 Aren't these cops realizing that doing their job is bad for them?

00:03:25.000 Like, if I was a cop right now and I saw someone go, I would just go, I should probably fill out some paperwork in about an hour.

00:03:34.000 Wait for the call to come in?

00:03:36.000 Yeah, getting so eager to go attack someone who's slowed down traffic for four seconds.

00:03:41.000 Yeah.

00:03:41.000 He goes, I seen you at the traffic light.

00:03:43.000 He goes, you were kind of anticipating.

00:03:46.000 He said, then I seen you pull over and talk to your buddy there.

00:03:48.000 I was like, all right, you got me.

00:03:51.000 That's precisely what happened.

00:03:53.000 Yeah.

00:03:53.000 He goes, and then you stopped, and everyone behind you had to stop.

00:03:57.000 And, you know, it's a main road.

00:03:59.000 And I was like, I'm guilty.

00:04:01.000 What do you want me to say?

00:04:02.000 It's definitely rude.

00:04:03.000 It's not.

00:04:04.000 He goes, didn't you see me behind you?

00:04:06.000 I was like, no, I was looking out the side window talking to my buddy.

00:04:09.000 And then I was.

00:04:10.000 And he wasn't right behind you.

00:04:12.000 I saw the car behind you.

00:04:13.000 It was a normal car.

00:04:14.000 Yeah, it was like a minivan or something.

00:04:15.000 It must have been like two or three cars behind me.

00:04:17.000 Yeah, I was just like, oh, God.

00:04:19.000 Yes, you got me.

00:04:21.000 I was rude.

00:04:22.000 I slowed down traffic for four seconds.

00:04:24.000 Sorry.

00:04:25.000 Glad you went to the police academy, fuckface.

00:04:28.000 I mean, fortunately, he didn't want to be too much of a. 0.99

00:04:33.000 He let me go.

00:04:34.000 Yeah, because he knows who you are after.

00:04:37.000 He did recognize me.

00:04:39.000 He says, I've dealt with you before.

00:04:40.000 I said, absolutely.

00:04:43.000 How old was he?

00:04:45.000 I'd probably say early 40s?

00:04:50.000 Late 30s, early 40s?

00:04:52.000 That's not a rookie.

00:04:54.000 No, no.

00:04:55.000 That's a guy at the end.

00:04:59.000 26?

00:05:00.000 Let's say the latest you could start is 26.

00:05:04.000 Well, the address is impossible, but as far as like the norm.

00:05:07.000 The address that I lived at, when he recognized me from, I probably haven't lived there since like 2015.

00:05:17.000 So it's been, he's been on the job at least six, seven years.

00:05:21.000 All right.

00:05:22.000 So tonight's a special show.

00:05:23.000 We've got my brother in Ottawa.

00:05:25.000 We're going to talk to him at the Honkin Convention in Ottawa.

00:05:30.000 The Honky's Honkin, which apparently is racist.

00:05:34.000 And I forgot my computer, so Ryan will be handling the mail.

00:05:37.000 But what about our sponsor?

00:05:39.000 Who are our sponsors tonight?

00:05:40.000 Do we have any?

00:05:41.000 I think so, yeah.

00:05:42.000 Have they all been pushed out?

00:05:44.000 Nay.

00:05:45.000 They are as attached.

00:05:47.000 We got tactical walls.

00:05:48.000 Tactical walls?

00:05:49.000 Yeah, we got beard vet.

00:05:51.000 And beard vet.

00:05:51.000 Okay.

00:05:51.000 Can you print them out real quick?

00:05:52.000 Because I think he's going to be able to get them.

00:05:53.000 Print them out real quick, but I have tactical walls memorized.

00:05:58.000 It's 15% off, right?

00:06:00.000 Yeah.

00:06:00.000 Gavin 15.

00:06:02.000 Promo code Gavin15 Tactical Walls.

00:06:06.000 They put cool walls up in your house or in your Jeep or anywhere.

00:06:11.000 You can hide your guns.

00:06:12.000 You can display your guns.

00:06:13.000 You can hide your sins.

00:06:15.000 You can display your sins.

00:06:17.000 All with tacticalwalls.com.

00:06:20.000 Vet owned.

00:06:21.000 American made.

00:06:23.000 That's becoming a bigger deal by the day.

00:06:27.000 The fact that we are promoting American manufacturing, It was innocuous.

00:06:32.000 It was silly 20, 30 years ago.

00:06:34.000 Why bother?

00:06:35.000 Who cares where it's made?

00:06:36.000 I care where it's made.

00:06:37.000 This is made in America.

00:06:39.000 And when you see a sponsor for this show, they have the balls to stand up to the yapping dogs that are constantly attacking anyone who supports free speech.

00:06:51.000 It's amazing how eager these big companies are to kowtow to any kind of blowback from idiots screaming.

00:07:01.000 But these guys don't do that.

00:07:03.000 You'll notice most of our sponsors are vets.

00:07:06.000 And Tactical Tim is one of them.

00:07:08.000 We had him here on the show.

00:07:11.000 He stayed here all day.

00:07:12.000 He built those tactical walls in our front room.

00:07:14.000 I'm looking at them now.

00:07:15.000 And behind Ryan.

00:07:16.000 Unfortunately, we live in New York City where we can only display not even BB guns.

00:07:23.000 BB guns are illegal here.

00:07:25.000 BB guns, fishing guns with the spear, paintball guns.

00:07:30.000 We're not allowed to have those.

00:07:33.000 And Joe Biden was just in New York talking to Eric Adams about gun control.

00:07:38.000 Yeah, we need better gun control in New York.

00:07:41.000 Yeah, because there's so many concealed carry permits being handed out in New York City at One Police Plaza.

00:07:48.000 Dude, I bet there was one this year.

00:07:51.000 I bet there was one.

00:07:55.000 If you got me drunk and shoved me around and showed me a naked lady in high-heel shoes, I might blurt out five, five. 0.98

00:08:04.000 But that's my range.

00:08:06.000 There was probably one to five concealed carry permits released to the public in New York City.

00:08:12.000 There's a murder a day.

00:08:13.000 It's all illegal guns, dummies.

00:08:15.000 Anyway, you have a fire thrower, flamethrower.

00:08:17.000 Yeah, those are fine.

00:08:19.000 And this is what New Yorkers do with them.

00:08:22.000 In Washington Square Park?

00:08:23.000 They burn snow, not snowmen, they burn snow people.

00:08:28.000 I like how they recasted Frosty the Snowman as a brown person of color.

00:08:33.000 I like how they think it's badass.

00:08:35.000 Because that guy's like, yo, we in the building.

00:08:38.000 Yo.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, it's fucking badass.

00:08:42.000 Anyway, Tactical Tim, TacticalWalls.com.

00:08:45.000 Tactical Tim is the man.

00:08:47.000 And if you use the promo code Gavin15, you get 15% off your order, which ends up being a lot.

00:08:52.000 Because once you start scooting around, tacticalwalls.com, you're going to see a lot of things that you like.

00:08:58.000 All right.

00:09:01.000 We go through the mailbag.

00:09:02.000 Let's see if we can find my brother in Ottawa.

00:09:07.000 He actually calls right now.

00:09:08.000 All you have to do is turn on your little wee wee microphone and we could have him on the show.

00:09:16.000 I was filibustering.

00:09:20.000 I still don't know what a filibuster is.

00:09:22.000 KY! 0.99

00:09:24.000 What's up, literal, bro?

00:09:26.000 How's it going, little bro?

00:09:29.000 Going great, man.

00:09:31.000 Yeah, I'm here in Ottawa at the trucker protest.

00:09:35.000 And, God, it just, it's a great reminder of how awesome freedom is.

00:09:41.000 So what are people doing around there?

00:09:43.000 Did they build bars?

00:09:47.000 Well, yeah, so I saw a couple people.

00:09:50.000 I mean, people are drinking beers everywhere and just having a great time.

00:09:56.000 So if you look here, here's some people just having a fire.

00:10:03.000 They've got some food out.

00:10:06.000 I mean, it's just a giant party.

00:10:09.000 That is so awesome.

00:10:11.000 And they're not blocking the roads.

00:10:13.000 Like, there's no argument against this, right?

00:10:15.000 What could you say against this?

00:10:18.000 So the only roads they're blocking, they're blocking Rito Street, which is, it's a tourist street.

00:10:25.000 Yeah, it's not a real street.

00:10:27.000 Yeah, it's not arterial or anything.

00:10:30.000 And then they're blocking one other north-south route, and there's other options.

00:10:35.000 So this whole notion that they're shutting down the city doesn't make any sense.

00:10:40.000 Huh.

00:10:41.000 And are they going to leave without speaking to Justin Trudeau?

00:10:47.000 I don't know.

00:10:49.000 It doesn't look like they're going anywhere anytime soon.

00:10:52.000 So, you know, as you can see here, like these trucks, they're all, these trucks have enough diesel in them to last at least two weeks.

00:11:05.000 And I've even seen diesel refueling vans come around.

00:11:10.000 Nice.

00:11:11.000 And then they also have cars where mechanics have taken off the wheels to make it impossible to tow.

00:11:20.000 Oh, that's so great.

00:11:22.000 That's so great.

00:11:25.000 This is going to be the most consequential political action in the past 10 years.

00:11:30.000 This is huge.

00:11:32.000 This is putting out no one, we haven't seen this kind of action in Ottawa since that guy at the monument for the fallen soldiers was murdered by jihadists, and no one talked about that.

00:11:46.000 Yeah, and, you know, it's funny.

00:11:48.000 The news talks about how there's assaults and harassment.

00:11:53.000 So even just today on the way over here, this nice family offered me cupcakes for free.

00:12:02.000 I've been, you know, having great conversations with everyone.

00:12:05.000 It's all smiles, families.

00:12:08.000 I mean, it's all lies.

00:12:11.000 Yeah.

00:12:12.000 It's all fake news.

00:12:14.000 How many Nazis have you come across wearing Confederate flags?

00:12:19.000 I actually saw a black man wearing a sign that said, do I look like a white supremacist?

00:12:24.000 Really?

00:12:26.000 And the police, are they going to start, like if you talk to a liberal in Ottawa, they'd say the police need to start cleaning up the town.

00:12:34.000 They need to start taking care of this.

00:12:36.000 Are the police going to do anything?

00:12:38.000 I mean, what is there to do?

00:12:40.000 Well, look, you can see this.

00:12:42.000 The police are waving at people as they walk by.

00:12:45.000 I mean, what are they supposed to do?

00:12:49.000 It's all families and people dancing and having a great time.

00:12:53.000 So what, I mean, I guess they could handle crimes.

00:12:58.000 Okay.

00:12:59.000 I guess You could start towing like the truck at the front of the line and then tow all the other trucks.

00:13:06.000 I don't know where you're towing them to.

00:13:08.000 I don't know.

00:13:09.000 So, has the population of trucks gone down since a few days ago?

00:13:17.000 It doesn't seem like that.

00:13:18.000 Again, all of these trucks look like they're not going anywhere anytime soon.

00:13:23.000 But all they're doing, like if you can see, all they're doing, this is out front of Parliament Hill.

00:13:29.000 So really, the only people they're inconveniencing are bureaucrats.

00:13:33.000 Yeah.

00:13:33.000 To which I say, good.

00:13:35.000 Good.

00:13:37.000 Fucking punish them.

00:13:39.000 I saw some video of some old bureaucrat women saying, we stood in front of one of the trucks and we went like this. 0.85

00:13:46.000 Okay.

00:13:46.000 Nice work.

00:13:48.000 So it was a huge party there on Saturday night.

00:13:51.000 Are people still partying like they were on Saturday night?

00:13:55.000 So, yeah, people are partying tonight.

00:13:57.000 And what I hear when I talk to people is tomorrow night is going to be a huge fucking rip bug.

00:14:04.000 Oh, really?

00:14:05.000 Wait, that's the Terry Fox statue that was desecrated.

00:14:10.000 Yeah, now it has flowers on it.

00:14:12.000 It appears to have survived its desecration.

00:14:15.000 Yeah, it looks pretty good to me.

00:14:18.000 Unlike the Sir John A. McDonald statue that couldn't survive because they cut its fucking head off.

00:14:25.000 Yeah.

00:14:26.000 Again, look at this.

00:14:28.000 And then people are just shoveling the streets voluntarily.

00:14:31.000 Does this look like terrorists to you?

00:14:34.000 Nope.

00:14:34.000 It doesn't exactly look like Ferguson.

00:14:38.000 It looks exactly like what Canadians would do. 1.00

00:14:41.000 Voluntarily.

00:14:42.000 Let's go to Sunday.

00:14:44.000 The first half on the road.

00:14:46.000 Wow, that's amazing.

00:14:48.000 Okay, Kyle, keep wandering around.

00:14:51.000 And if something comes up, then contact Ryan and we'll pull you back on.

00:14:58.000 All right.

00:14:59.000 Later days, Blaze.

00:15:04.000 They said the convoy was 70 kilometers long.

00:15:07.000 Unbelievable.

00:15:08.000 They beat the longest convoy on tenfold.

00:15:13.000 And now America's planning one.

00:15:15.000 Australia's planning one.

00:15:18.000 I used to wipe shit off of that guy's asshole.

00:15:22.000 Well, that's your younger brother.

00:15:24.000 What I would do is I'd wear a gas mask.

00:15:25.000 It was two years ago.

00:15:26.000 An N95 mask? 0.53

00:15:29.000 I'd wear a gas mask I got at a World War II shop because I was 14.

00:15:32.000 I was totally disgusted by the concept.

00:15:34.000 I'd hold his wrists in one hand and his ankles in the other hand.

00:15:38.000 And then I'd set the bath to like, this is after I wiped his ass, a normal like temperature.

00:15:44.000 And I just blast his butthole with the bathtub. 1.00

00:15:49.000 My parents were so drunk, they were like, whatever, works, whatever.

00:15:53.000 It's a bidet.

00:15:56.000 Yeah, I invented the Biffy.com before Biffy.com invented.

00:16:03.000 It was invented.

00:16:04.000 Beard Vet, veteran-owned.

00:16:07.000 We have a shitload of products to give away, too, coming up next week.

00:16:10.000 Stay warm, caffeinated, and looking great with Beard Vet.

00:16:12.000 Beard Vet has a great beard grooming products, has great beard grooming products and coffee.

00:16:18.000 Check out the Oktoberfest sale.

00:16:22.000 October Fest sale?

00:16:24.000 That seems like it's a little bit down the line there.

00:16:26.000 A little premature, but I think we might be Valentine's Day sale?

00:16:30.000 I don't know.

00:16:30.000 El Diablo Coffee Blend.

00:16:32.000 Remember we tried that?

00:16:33.000 Whoa, that got us very high.

00:16:35.000 I did a workout today on three coffees, kicked ass, and then my ass kicked me with the most explosive sand I've ever shot out.

00:16:47.000 You know, I'm noticing too, I like the predominant theory that our shit smells like cobalt because we can't smell anymore.

00:16:55.000 And I'm like, so the Chinese, like the biggest fear in America is bigotry, prejudice, white supremacy, right?

00:17:02.000 I go to Florida, I've got to take off my shoes and my belt and all my shit because of Muslims, because of one group. 1.00

00:17:11.000 I've got to go through all this rigmarole at the fucking gate.

00:17:15.000 And then I take a shit, it smells like steel, because of the Chinese. 1.00

00:17:20.000 I don't mean Chinese people in America.

00:17:21.000 I mean China.

00:17:23.000 So one religion in one country is fucking up my life. 0.94

00:17:27.000 And they're not white.

00:17:29.000 But yeah.

00:17:30.000 White people are poof. 1.00

00:17:32.000 They're a fucking nightmare.

00:17:35.000 Anyway, probably not the best thing to inject into a commercial for a sponsor.

00:17:42.000 They're all on sale, free shipping on all orders.

00:17:45.000 When you go to beardvet.com, use the promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.

00:17:51.000 Check out Beard Vet and tell them Gavin sent you.

00:17:53.000 Sean, the owner of BeardVet is one of us.

00:17:55.000 He's a good idea.

00:17:55.000 We like more than a friend.

00:17:57.000 Dude, the copywriting here is so half-assed.

00:18:00.000 It reminds me of my mother's cooking.

00:18:01.000 There's no love.

00:18:04.000 BeardVet stands for the national anthem, Beard Vet Kneels to the Cross, and Beard Vet's charitable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.

00:18:11.000 We support them and they support us.

00:18:13.000 BeardVet.com, promo code Gavin, for 15% off all orders.

00:18:19.000 He also mentions Christmas giveaways, which must be some old copy.

00:18:24.000 Well, no, we're ramping it up early this year.

00:18:27.000 Starting early.

00:18:28.000 Who's getting the jingle tingles?

00:18:31.000 Have a merry fire.

00:18:33.000 I'm getting excited.

00:18:34.000 Baby, it's cold outside.

00:18:36.000 Christmas is only, what, nine months away?

00:18:39.000 Ten months away?

00:18:44.000 So we're going to take calls.

00:18:48.000 We're going to do the live feed for Max and John, right?

00:18:52.000 Yeah, we're doing the chats, the paychats.

00:18:56.000 Pay chats.

00:18:56.000 So we're taking money for Max and John.

00:18:58.000 These are two proud boys who are serving four years for fighting Antifa.

00:19:03.000 We've raised about $2,000 for them so far.

00:19:06.000 You want to have some money when you get out, right, Maddie?

00:19:09.000 Yeah, it helps.

00:19:11.000 Usually when you get out, you're broke.

00:19:14.000 Pretty much.

00:19:15.000 Because your bills don't stop just because you're in prison.

00:19:18.000 Yeah, I bet most guys get out deep into debt.

00:19:22.000 Oh, I owe tons of money in back child support.

00:19:25.000 Child support, rent.

00:19:26.000 None of that stops because you're in prison.

00:19:30.000 It just goes into the arrears.

00:19:32.000 It must be a real struggle when you're on trial trying to fucking get out of your leases and leave your landlords kind of understand.

00:19:44.000 What are they going to do?

00:19:46.000 Yeah.

00:19:47.000 I'm not leaving.

00:19:48.000 I'm not skipping anything.

00:19:50.000 If you're in prison, I mean, that's a little easier to get out of, but like child support, like all your credit card bill, like if you have credit or debt or loans, like that's you're all you better have somebody on the outside that's helping you.

00:20:07.000 What about your Rolex?

00:20:08.000 How does that do?

00:20:09.000 My son has it.

00:20:13.000 I've asked three times for it back since the last time I got out.

00:20:17.000 He just doesn't want to give it up.

00:20:18.000 Yeah, because it's gone.

00:20:20.000 It's sick.

00:20:21.000 It's his anyway.

00:20:22.000 I guess at the end of the day, it would be eventually his.

00:20:28.000 Yeah, that's the good thing about your kids stealing your shit.

00:20:30.000 You're like, you're just stealing your own shit, buddy.

00:20:33.000 Yeah.

00:20:34.000 I mean, I only have one child, so everything I have goes to him.

00:20:39.000 But we also think that they're going to want our shit.

00:20:42.000 Like, I've got all my tailored suits and all my books with all my little inscriptions, like every four pages.

00:20:48.000 I'm like, wait a minute, this contradicts page 42.

00:20:51.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:20:52.000 Because he said that climate change isn't a thing.

00:20:54.000 And now here he is saying the earth is warming.

00:20:57.000 How does he say it?

00:20:57.000 And I always fantasize about my kids going, holy shit, my dad called that up.

00:21:03.000 The books might as well be open.

00:21:04.000 They'll probably never be open.

00:21:06.000 They're not going to look at one of them.

00:21:08.000 I have all the Vice magazines in order, and they're leather bound.

00:21:14.000 I'm actually missing one of the books.

00:21:17.000 And I was, you know, you wake up with the terrors.

00:21:20.000 And I woke up last night and I was like, holy fuck, I'm missing 1995 to 1996.

00:21:27.000 Who cares?

00:21:28.000 They don't care.

00:21:29.000 I'm missing cow shit 95 to cow shit 96.

00:21:34.000 Yeah, when you let me borrow that Ralph Steadman book, Fear and Loathing in the Kentucky Derby, called The Joke's Over.

00:21:43.000 Right.

00:21:44.000 I was like, this is cool.

00:21:46.000 Like, this dude highlighted this.

00:21:47.000 He found this to be particularly interesting.

00:21:50.000 All the little notes in the market.

00:21:51.000 Wait, did I loan you the Kentucky Derby Hunter Thompson book?

00:21:55.000 That was an article in Rolling Stone.

00:21:57.000 The book I loaned you was Ralph Stebman's The Joke is Over about his life with Hunter Thompson.

00:22:03.000 They got the splatters on there.

00:22:04.000 Undercover.

00:22:05.000 They got the splatters.

00:22:07.000 My grandfather was a great artist.

00:22:09.000 And when he died, he didn't really sell his shit.

00:22:14.000 So he had like hundreds of paintings.

00:22:17.000 And they got dwindled down.

00:22:18.000 My mother got some.

00:22:19.000 And then I got this like USPS fucking gigantic box.

00:22:26.000 I framed a couple of them.

00:22:30.000 Sentimental value?

00:22:32.000 Not really.

00:22:33.000 He didn't like me.

00:22:35.000 So you're not pumped.

00:22:37.000 I'm just saying.

00:22:39.000 I got this.

00:22:43.000 So the moral of the story is don't do things for how you will be remembered.

00:22:48.000 I texted Terry Richardson this the other day.

00:22:50.000 I go, there's all these stories coming out about the early aughts and our world and vice and stuff and hipsters.

00:22:56.000 And we're not in the equation.

00:22:58.000 We've been written out of the story.

00:23:00.000 And I go, I don't have a problem with that because that wasn't my goal to be remembered and documented.

00:23:06.000 I was the documenter in many ways.

00:23:09.000 And I go, yeah, I just, you got to do things for the moment and enjoy them in the moment and not for any kind of long-term perception, obviously outside of your children that you want your kids to perceive you as a hero.

00:23:22.000 But even then, don't save shit so they'll fucking want.

00:23:28.000 I've got my great-grandfather's stopwatch.

00:23:30.000 He never met me.

00:23:32.000 I don't really give a fuck about it.

00:23:33.000 I just spent $100 to have it refurbished.

00:23:37.000 It's in a junk drawer with other cool shit.

00:23:41.000 So my point is, live in the moment.

00:23:44.000 Don't think about how much your kids are going to enjoy your Rolex or your fucking suits or reading the scribbly notes in your books because they're not.

00:23:53.000 In fact, if anything, do them a favor and get rid of all your shit because they don't want to have to get rid of that.

00:23:58.000 Deal with it after you're dead.

00:24:00.000 What are we going to do with all that junk?

00:24:02.000 Oak chest of drawers.

00:24:03.000 They don't want it.

00:24:04.000 They want money.

00:24:07.000 Yeah, money's always key.

00:24:08.000 They don't want your furniture.

00:24:10.000 Life insurance, how much you got?

00:24:13.000 Same thing with like shitty Christmas gifts.

00:24:15.000 There's something about it where when they give it to you, you're burdened with now.

00:24:18.000 Now you're throwing away something somebody bought for you and spent time on.

00:24:21.000 So we have a rule in our house.

00:24:23.000 We keep it around for a month, so that way it's officially ours.

00:24:26.000 And then we're like, well, it's ours now.

00:24:27.000 We throw it out.

00:24:28.000 But after Christmas, it feels weird to get a thing and throw it right out or give it away.

00:24:33.000 Dude, I have thrown out probably six boxes of books recently.

00:24:38.000 We redid our living room.

00:24:41.000 In the studio here, we've thrown out 15 contractor bags of books and garbage and TV mounts and all this shit.

00:24:52.000 Just get rid of it.

00:24:53.000 We're living in an era of we're too wealthy.

00:24:56.000 Like, I want to get robbed.

00:24:58.000 Please rob me.

00:25:00.000 Please take my shit.

00:25:02.000 Take my shit, please.

00:25:04.000 Like, in the 70s, you had speakers.

00:25:07.000 You worked at a minimum wage job for a speaker that was five feet tall, and it blasted the whole house.

00:25:12.000 And then your mom or your grandma had a pearl necklace that was super expensive that she didn't want anyone to steal.

00:25:20.000 And you had a VCR, which was a big deal.

00:25:23.000 No one could trace it.

00:25:24.000 No one has that anymore.

00:25:27.000 Like, what are you going to rob?

00:25:28.000 You break into a house.

00:25:29.000 Say you steal a computer.

00:25:31.000 You can't steal it.

00:25:32.000 It's tracked.

00:25:34.000 GPS.

00:25:35.000 We got the GPS.

00:25:37.000 We got it locked.

00:25:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:39.000 A TV?

00:25:40.000 Okay, take my flat screen TV.

00:25:42.000 It's worth $150.

00:25:45.000 And they're heavy and awkward and cumbersome.

00:25:48.000 Pain in the ass.

00:25:49.000 What are you going to do?

00:25:50.000 Run down the street with a 72-inch TV?

00:25:52.000 I don't even get home robbery anymore.

00:25:55.000 What are you going to get?

00:25:56.000 People don't have cash.

00:25:59.000 You should have Some cash in the house somewhere.

00:26:01.000 Yeah, they don't.

00:26:03.000 They pay for a coffee, a $1.50 coffee with a credit card.

00:26:10.000 It's for the thrills.

00:26:11.000 You know, when you see some, you know, teens out there grabbing stuff from Target, it's just the thrill.

00:26:18.000 What do you mean?

00:26:18.000 Teens.

00:26:19.000 Teens, you know.

00:26:20.000 Never heard of them.

00:26:22.000 Haven't seen them on the street in a long time.

00:26:23.000 Buy Target.

00:26:24.000 Turn their rooms on the screens.

00:26:26.000 Buy Indigenous. 0.97

00:26:28.000 All right, so let's go behind the paywall now.

00:26:30.000 Goodbye, people who don't pay. 1.00

00:26:32.000 You just got the first half hour for free.

00:26:34.000 Enjoy yourselves.

00:26:35.000 I'm glad that you got some free shit, you mooch. 1.00

00:26:37.000 Yeah.

00:26:38.000 And let's start taking calls now.

00:26:42.000 Do you want to send them off or we just cut them hard?

00:26:44.000 We just cut them hard.

00:26:46.000 All right, guys.

00:26:46.000 Cleave them.

00:26:47.000 Fudge you. 0.80

00:26:49.000 They're out.

00:26:50.000 You're out.

00:26:52.000 It's like dumping a chick. 0.86

00:26:54.000 Actually, no, dumping a chick, in my day, if you date a girl for like a year or two and it's just, you know, it's not working, you got to just say to yourself, all right, I have a five-hour session about to go down.

00:27:09.000 And I'm going to break up with her.

00:27:11.000 I'm going to sit there and deal with all the shit.

00:27:13.000 I'm not going to send a text.

00:27:15.000 I'm not going to be like, sorry, not call her back.

00:27:17.000 A real man sits down for five hours and is like, yeah, that's the case. 0.90

00:27:23.000 You just got to go through it.

00:27:25.000 And the way I used to go through it when I was a dumper is guys work in the sewers.

00:27:31.000 They pull out rat kings from giant clogged holes with diapers and feces.

00:27:38.000 I can sit with a girl for a few hours and be like, yeah, it's not working out.

00:27:42.000 And also, but this isn't really the same concept, but with employees firing them, the best way to do it is just, this isn't working out.

00:27:53.000 There's no negotiating.

00:27:55.000 You're not wanted here anymore.

00:27:57.000 Goodbye.

00:27:58.000 I wish you nothing but the best.

00:27:59.000 I won't give you a bad review because you didn't do anything that bad.

00:28:02.000 You're just not good enough to do this job.

00:28:04.000 Boop, boop, boop. 1.00

00:28:05.000 Short and sweet.

00:28:06.000 Zoop out the door.

00:28:10.000 Which is what I'll be doing to Ryan tonight.

00:28:12.000 You know, I could read between the lines.

00:28:14.000 I know that you were sending me off right there.

00:28:16.000 Goodbye.

00:28:21.000 I think it was the hat, Ryan.

00:28:23.000 You're 1997.

00:28:24.000 Good on the new jersey suit.

00:28:26.000 Giving in an inch to fit.

00:28:31.000 God, hippie music is so shitty.

00:28:36.000 That's my purpose.

00:28:37.000 No.

00:28:38.000 Oh, now my buttons don't work.

00:28:39.000 Oh, shit.

00:28:42.000 Who's hold?

00:28:44.000 Yeah, I'm fired.

00:28:45.000 I could feel it now.

00:28:46.000 You know, it's like when you're breaking up with a chick and she thinks there might be a glimmer of hope, and then she, like, diarrhea's herself, and she's like, I'll just see myself out.

00:28:54.000 Ry, you're looking kind of swole over there, guy. 1.00

00:28:56.000 Thank you, sir.

00:28:57.000 What is that?

00:28:58.000 Like, uh.

00:28:59.000 You know, I'm embarrassed to admit.

00:29:00.000 I just bought his pre-workout.

00:29:04.000 It's called Gorilla Mindset.

00:29:06.000 Gorilla Mode.

00:29:07.000 No, Gorilla Mode.

00:29:08.000 718 tattoo?

00:29:09.000 I do.

00:29:10.000 Ooh, representing.

00:29:11.000 If I went to jail, would that be bad?

00:29:13.000 Like, what are you, fucking MS718?

00:29:15.000 No.

00:29:16.000 Okay.

00:29:16.000 Everyone knows what 718 is.

00:29:18.000 I might make some friends.

00:29:20.000 It's also our call-in number.

00:29:22.000 Put that up.

00:29:22.000 Oh.

00:29:24.000 Oh, wait.

00:29:24.000 You know what we've never done?

00:29:25.000 Start the show with Maddie there.

00:29:29.000 Oh, my God.

00:29:30.000 Watch out, Maddie.

00:29:32.000 There we go.

00:29:33.000 He was just about to make his way to Maddie and the Eagle took him away.

00:29:37.000 Oh, watch out.

00:29:38.000 Mike Frankley was the beautiful bird.

00:29:41.000 The beautiful bird.

00:29:42.000 The bird, which is the bald eagle.

00:29:44.000 Bye-bye.

00:29:45.000 Back to mommy. 0.96

00:29:46.000 I got to say, I do feel a sense of relief when we do the cutoff and it's only back to the paywall.

00:29:53.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:53.000 I feel like we're back with our family.

00:29:55.000 We can relax.

00:29:56.000 Because the first half hour is a commercial.

00:29:59.000 And it's a mainstream commercial available to all of Earth for free.

00:30:04.000 And now we're with our people.

00:30:05.000 Our folks.

00:30:06.000 We can relax.

00:30:12.000 That was a sigh of relief, too.

00:30:14.000 Not like a sigh of like, oh, God.

00:30:16.000 Just to let everybody know.

00:30:18.000 Thanks, Ryan.

00:30:19.000 I'm filibustering again.

00:30:22.000 Oh.

00:30:24.000 Let's go through the mailbag, though.

00:30:25.000 I can't because I forgot my fucking computer.

00:30:28.000 That's all right.

00:30:28.000 You know, I think we have some paychats.

00:30:30.000 Guys, if you go to this sucker right here, if you go to the page in which we are streaming, right?

00:30:38.000 So this is our show streaming along.

00:30:40.000 Now you go here, right below it on the site, donate to read a message on there.

00:30:45.000 Bam, right there.

00:30:47.000 So click on it yourself.

00:30:48.000 Okay.

00:30:49.000 Fag it. 1.00

00:30:51.000 Smash to subscribe.

00:30:52.000 So do you have to sign up?

00:30:54.000 You have to be a subscriber, I believe, yeah.

00:30:57.000 But you use a little bit of your Okay.

00:31:01.000 You just fill this out.

00:31:03.000 So I don't know how that works, but 100% of the proceeds go to Max and John.

00:31:09.000 That's correct.

00:31:10.000 Help them start their lives when they get out.

00:31:12.000 They're getting out soon, I think in about 1.3 years.

00:31:19.000 It's always so fucking depressing.

00:31:21.000 It is depressing.

00:31:23.000 Because every time I hear the number, I want to think six months, and it's never even close to six months.

00:31:29.000 That's 16 months.

00:31:31.000 1.3 years.

00:31:33.000 I don't even have a place to file the feelings I have about Joe Biggs being locked or Ethan.

00:31:38.000 I don't even have a file for how do I feel about that besides anger?

00:31:42.000 And I don't want to think about it.

00:31:44.000 I feel kind of differently with Ethan and Biggs.

00:31:46.000 I feel hopeless.

00:31:46.000 They're innocent men who got fucked over, but they went to a thing that I told them not to go to.

00:31:52.000 With Max and John, they were just walking home.

00:31:55.000 Someone picked a fight with them.

00:31:56.000 They said yes and won.

00:31:58.000 And they got four fucking years.

00:32:04.000 Four years for a minor brawl.

00:32:07.000 Mutual combatant.

00:32:08.000 I think if Maddie and I had that same brawl, I don't think it would end our friendship.

00:32:13.000 No.

00:32:13.000 We would just be like, it is what it is.

00:32:16.000 That was a crazy night.

00:32:17.000 Let's agree to disagree.

00:32:19.000 I don't know what was going on there.

00:32:20.000 Well, I wouldn't throw a bottle of piss at you.

00:32:23.000 There was no serious injuries.

00:32:25.000 No.

00:32:26.000 The Antifa got their eyes schmushed in by Max going, eh.

00:32:32.000 Then there was the guy who got kicked by John.

00:32:35.000 But, like, I don't even know if three days after the fight, you'd be able to detect from any Antifa or any Proud Boys if there was any damage.

00:32:45.000 I don't think it would show up on any chart anywhere.

00:32:48.000 So that's four years?

00:32:50.000 Shouldn't four years be like you were in intensive care and they managed to stitch you up?

00:32:58.000 Anyway, I know I talk about them too much, but we're raising money for them every Thursday because I'd like them to have a big nest egg to get settled.

00:33:09.000 I'm also kind of worried.

00:33:10.000 I wanted to talk to you about this, Maddie.

00:33:14.000 I'm also a little bit worried about their PTSD.

00:33:18.000 Like Max worked on the railroads at Grand Central.

00:33:23.000 John was a steel inspector.

00:33:25.000 You're in jail.

00:33:27.000 You're at what Max describes as a very, very, very shitty cruise for four years.

00:33:33.000 That's your mindset now.

00:33:35.000 He plays his guitar.

00:33:36.000 He reads his books.

00:33:38.000 I used to equate it to being stuck at a train station because you're waiting for your date.

00:33:44.000 Yeah.

00:33:45.000 You're just in limbo, just sitting there.

00:33:47.000 And the train comes by.

00:33:48.000 You're just waiting for the train to come.

00:33:50.000 Wow.

00:33:50.000 Yeah.

00:33:51.000 So I understand when he says you're on a shitty cruise.

00:33:54.000 Because you do.

00:33:55.000 Like, you get enough of a routine, although however mundane it is.

00:34:02.000 But you get up and you're like, all right, I'm going to go do whatever my job is.

00:34:05.000 And I'm going to go to the yard.

00:34:06.000 I'm going to work out today.

00:34:08.000 Yeah.

00:34:09.000 Everything's.

00:34:10.000 You get into this.

00:34:11.000 Yeah.

00:34:11.000 You get into a routine.

00:34:12.000 The routine.

00:34:13.000 And it kind of, there are days when you don't think as much about as the outside because you're kind of consumed with what you're doing inside or whoever their little group is or one or two guys that they may talk to or break bread with.

00:34:25.000 I get that.

00:34:27.000 My fear is, and I don't get this, so you've had that world and you talked about once, you talked about how you got up in the middle of the night and you just went, I'm going to go get a glass of water from the fridge.

00:34:38.000 Or a glass of milk.

00:34:39.000 Which was the craziest thing in the world.

00:34:41.000 And you're like, I can do that now.

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 How about this?

00:34:45.000 I go get a glass of milk.

00:34:47.000 I don't go back to bed.

00:34:48.000 I watch a sitcom for five minutes.

00:34:51.000 Then I go back to bed.

00:34:52.000 Fuck you.

00:34:52.000 Yeah.

00:34:53.000 And you're allowed to do that.

00:34:54.000 So I worry about Max and John, you know, readjusting that.

00:34:57.000 I think it'll be easier for John because he has Zenoa and his kids and she's going to be like, get up.

00:35:03.000 Let's do this.

00:35:03.000 Let's do that.

00:35:04.000 She's really in control broad.

00:35:06.000 But Max, I don't know.

00:35:10.000 So he goes back to swinging a sledgehammer on the railroad.

00:35:14.000 Punk, punk.

00:35:18.000 He goes right back to his job.

00:35:19.000 I mean, that'd be great if he could.

00:35:21.000 Don't some guys, though, just get kind of freaked out by it all?

00:35:26.000 I remember the first, like, like, usually when you first come home, like, I had to get used to, like, carrying keys around again.

00:35:33.000 Because you didn't carry keys.

00:35:34.000 Or, like, unlocking doors.

00:35:36.000 Like, you would stand at doors and wait for someone to open.

00:35:38.000 Like, like, little things, you know.

00:35:40.000 But that sounds quaint and fun.

00:35:43.000 No.

00:35:44.000 And then also.

00:35:44.000 Is there anything disturbed?

00:35:45.000 Like, are you disturbed by all this?

00:35:47.000 Do you have PTSD where you're like, I don't want these keys?

00:35:51.000 Oh, like, even like being around children.

00:35:55.000 Because there's no children in the prison.

00:35:57.000 I mean, you might see them on the visiting room and stuff like that, but like everyday normal children just running around, like the noises, children playing and stuff like that.

00:36:04.000 Like, you just, you haven't heard it in four years.

00:36:06.000 Is your instinct to do like a scared straight where you're like, you better never come back here?

00:36:10.000 No.

00:36:11.000 That's the only reason kids would be able to come up by their collars.

00:36:15.000 Wake the fuck up.

00:36:16.000 Like, I don't know what their personal experiences are.

00:36:20.000 But I don't think they're having a terrible, terrible existence there.

00:36:24.000 No, they're not.

00:36:25.000 They're not.

00:36:26.000 They're both in control of their little splocks. 1.00

00:36:29.000 It shouldn't be too hard to reacclimate to the life they came from.

00:36:33.000 All right.

00:36:34.000 I predict will happen.

00:36:35.000 I don't think it should be.

00:36:36.000 I said, unless, and I'm not saying that this happened to either of them, like, some people go to prison and get abused and have all sorts of nightmarish, hellish things happen to them.

00:36:46.000 And they may suffer a lot of PTSD.

00:36:49.000 I mean, it's a high-stress environment, don't get me wrong.

00:36:52.000 Anything can happen at any time.

00:36:53.000 But like I said, I don't think they're really having too much of a hard go.

00:36:57.000 Like, you're always, no one's ever at 100% at ease.

00:37:01.000 Like, you're not kicking up with your feet and shower shoes and eating chips, walking around the day room with flip-flops on.

00:37:08.000 But it's like being married.

00:37:12.000 Without even mentioning it, there were a couple people that were like, hey, he could work for me when he gets out and stuff like that.

00:37:17.000 Like doing the same job, welding or whatnot.

00:37:19.000 So I predict we could have a job fair of sorts.

00:37:22.000 Yeah, definitely.

00:37:23.000 And they know the story.

00:37:24.000 They know the guy.

00:37:24.000 He's great.

00:37:25.000 And yeah.

00:37:26.000 That definitely helps.

00:37:28.000 You know what's ironic, Ryan?

00:37:29.000 Once I fire you, no one will do the same thing for you.

00:37:35.000 It would be a job unfair.

00:37:36.000 You will be unemployable, but as employees at most agents, you will be excellent at putting a bamboo pole across your shoulders and accruing several giant contractor bags of aluminum cans in the Lower East Side.

00:37:51.000 Or plastic bottles.

00:37:53.000 Plastic bottles pay too?

00:37:54.000 I think so, yeah.

00:37:55.000 Just don't squish them.

00:37:57.000 Well, you're going to learn the hard way, whether that's true or not, because that's going to be your vocation.

00:38:01.000 The first Asian homeless man in New York City, I could see it now.

00:38:04.000 My name in mud.

00:38:06.000 Fucking.

00:38:08.000 That'd be funny if you did that and you just kicked ass.

00:38:11.000 Yeah.

00:38:11.000 And made $120,000 a year.

00:38:14.000 What?

00:38:14.000 Wait, wait.

00:38:15.000 Wouldn't you just stop doing that at some point?

00:38:17.000 Or no, you're addicted to the grind.

00:38:19.000 Yeah.

00:38:20.000 Digging through garbage cans on every corner.

00:38:23.000 The grind.

00:38:23.000 I'm on my hustle.

00:38:24.000 Every time I see those chinks carrying those bottles, cans, I'm just like, how did you get here? 1.00

00:38:33.000 Who is responsible for you?

00:38:35.000 Do they feel bad?

00:38:36.000 Yeah.

00:38:37.000 Like, I worked my hard, Singapore, I came here and I worked so hard.

00:38:42.000 I got eventually, I worked so hard.

00:38:44.000 I had a dry cleaner and then I got my grandmother and my mother and everyone to come.

00:38:49.000 But then I kind of lost track of Nana.

00:38:52.000 And now she collects fucking cans because I'm a shitty guy.

00:38:56.000 Well, you fucked up, dude.

00:38:58.000 Yeah, you suck.

00:39:00.000 You suck.

00:39:01.000 You do.

00:39:02.000 You're a bitch. 1.00

00:39:03.000 You're a bitch. 1.00

00:39:04.000 You're a fucking shitty sponsor.

00:39:07.000 Speaking of sponsors, hemorrhoids on the line.

00:39:11.000 Hemroids.

00:39:12.000 Hi, Hemroids.

00:39:13.000 954.

00:39:13.000 You're on the line.

00:39:15.000 What's going on, man?

00:39:16.000 What's up, Doug?

00:39:17.000 Hey, ma'am.

00:39:19.000 Hey, thank you guys so much.

00:39:21.000 You guys are crushing it over there.

00:39:24.000 So, yeah, for the hemorrhoids, man, what you want to do, you know, they say that the Hispanics put VIX on everything. 0.98

00:39:32.000 Believe me, get yourself a little bottle of VIX.

00:39:35.000 Hopefully, you never have hemorrhoids again, but when you do, clear you right up.

00:39:39.000 You're welcome.

00:39:40.000 But when you do, they're going to smell good.

00:39:41.000 I pray to God that you're white, by the way, because that would be hilarious. 1.00

00:39:47.000 Nah, nah, actually.

00:39:48.000 I'm Dominican.

00:39:50.000 But, yo, Ryan, man, thank you so much.

00:39:52.000 You're crushing, especially when you put them faces on.

00:39:54.000 It's hilarious.

00:39:55.000 Thanks for watching.

00:39:56.000 Sometimes I almost want to look over at Gavin and be like, yo, eased up.

00:39:59.000 But at the same time, come on, man.

00:40:01.000 We've been doing this for a long time.

00:40:02.000 You got to get it together.

00:40:03.000 You know, he's aging, you know, so he's going to spazz on you.

00:40:08.000 Thanks for calling.

00:40:09.000 Later, man, thanks.

00:40:10.000 That caller was assuming my hemorrhoid's gone.

00:40:13.000 Still there.

00:40:16.000 Still hanging tough, as they say.

00:40:18.000 And I think Boys to Men Sync.

00:40:21.000 No, that was New Kids on the Block.

00:40:22.000 New Kids on the Block.

00:40:23.000 It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's just hanging there like a little tiny baby dick.

00:40:28.000 The song's a tea bag hanging out your ass.

00:40:29.000 The song's tough.

00:40:33.000 Still fucking there.

00:40:35.000 And it's not going down at all.

00:40:37.000 It's the exact...

00:40:39.000 I'll show you how big it is.

00:40:41.000 This is my hemorrhoid.

00:40:42.000 No, wait, that's exaggerated.

00:40:44.000 That is my biggest fear.

00:40:46.000 Have you never had a hemorrhoid?

00:40:47.000 Never.

00:40:49.000 I don't think I've ever had.

00:40:50.000 It's like you grow.

00:40:50.000 It's a cyst.

00:40:51.000 It's a tumor.

00:40:52.000 It's quato.

00:40:52.000 It's a pain ellipse.

00:40:53.000 You have quato.

00:40:54.000 Well, I went for, what is it?

00:40:56.000 When they fucking check for colon cancer, they put the...

00:41:01.000 Colonoscopy.

00:41:02.000 A colonoscopy.

00:41:03.000 They said I had some internal ones.

00:41:05.000 Whoa.

00:41:06.000 Fine.

00:41:07.000 They never came out.

00:41:08.000 Is that a powerful?

00:41:09.000 If you have a million internal hemorrhoids, it's when they're external.

00:41:13.000 No, he goes, you got one internal or two internal ones.

00:41:17.000 Every time I take a shit, I've got to clean peanut butter off a light bulb.

00:41:23.000 It's literally a pain in the ass.

00:41:24.000 Two of the greatest inventions from Europe.

00:41:27.000 Thank you for blacks.

00:41:28.000 Thanks, Group, for watching.

00:41:29.000 Thank you for inventing the light bulb and peanut butter.

00:41:32.000 To celebrate Black History Month, I'm wiping my ass. 1.00

00:41:38.000 I'm scraping peanut butter off a light bulb.

00:41:42.000 Two best black inventions. 0.98

00:41:45.000 I'd like to know what you think is worse, a retarded idiot 20-year-old with face tattoos having kids by accident, or a 27-year-old normal person who's too scared to have kids because they don't think they're a father material. 1.00

00:41:56.000 I'll go with the retarded 20-year-old with the face tattoos. 1.00

00:41:59.000 Thank you.

00:41:59.000 Alex.

00:42:00.000 The more families, the better.

00:42:02.000 He'll figure it out.

00:42:04.000 The guy, the 27-year-old didn't have kids.

00:42:06.000 He doesn't exist.

00:42:09.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, my wife had added it to our growing family with twins in October.

00:42:14.000 Would you or Ryan want them if given the opportunity?

00:42:18.000 Yes.

00:42:19.000 The first few weeks are pretty much sucked.

00:42:22.000 Yeah, the first seven weeks, blow.

00:42:25.000 But we got two kids out of one pregnancy.

00:42:27.000 Are twins cool or weird?

00:42:29.000 I think twins are awesome because you get, Ryan, you're showing.

00:42:33.000 No, that's supposed to be.

00:42:34.000 Yeah, because it extends.

00:42:35.000 So try to keep the limit on the text out.

00:42:37.000 Would you want twins or just regular kids?

00:42:39.000 I think twins are great.

00:42:40.000 I never had twins.

00:42:41.000 I love the idea of twins because it's sort of like when you're moving, you're taking the boxes.

00:42:46.000 This best way to move is to take the most brutal hell boxes of books first.

00:42:55.000 The bed frames.

00:42:58.000 And leave the lightest boxes to the end.

00:43:00.000 So when you're fucking destroyed at the end, you're taking like doilies and socks.

00:43:06.000 Similarly, with raising kids, you get the twins.

00:43:10.000 I'm sure your first year is Hades.

00:43:14.000 It must be brutal, especially for the woman, like double breastfeeding. 1.00

00:43:18.000 That must be a nightmare.

00:43:20.000 Then you get the butt be able to walk and run.

00:43:25.000 Yeah, you're running around trying to child proof everything.

00:43:28.000 But they're so fucking adorable after one that you get.

00:43:32.000 Why are you showing that picture for twins?

00:43:34.000 It's the antween.

00:43:38.000 Yeah, we're not talking about fucking children actually right now.

00:43:43.000 Not the best context to put this in.

00:43:46.000 They never said they wanted to fuck them.

00:43:47.000 They're just like, twins are cool.

00:43:49.000 Yeah, and then I thought, okay.

00:43:51.000 Yeah, you're bad at your job.

00:43:52.000 I'm sorry.

00:43:54.000 So I imagine you get the heavy lifting out in the first year, and it must be brutal.

00:44:00.000 Twin parents, I salute you.

00:44:03.000 Yeah, hats off.

00:44:04.000 But then after that, you have two funny little dudes or dudettes running around or dude and dudette if they're heterogeneous.

00:44:12.000 That must be fucking hilarious.

00:44:15.000 Gavin and Ryan, please do more woke movie commentaries like when you guys did The Help and Charlie's Angels.

00:44:21.000 We did Charlie's.

00:44:22.000 Oh, we did the new Charlie's Angels.

00:44:23.000 Yeah.

00:44:24.000 Yeah, we got to do a new one.

00:44:26.000 Hey, Ryan, is your wife upset? 0.98

00:44:28.000 You have a hot, chunky female ass now that obliterates hers. 1.00

00:44:33.000 Her friends must also be hella pissed that you look so good in those jeans.

00:44:37.000 He looks like Lizzo in his jeans.

00:44:40.000 Do they give you a nasty look every time they see you?

00:44:43.000 How did that ass jap get a Filipino ass? 1.00

00:44:46.000 Clearly, I'm a fag for thinking this. 1.00

00:44:48.000 Yes, you are a fag, sir. 1.00

00:44:49.000 Ryan actually went to the mall in the Bronx and he got normal pants.

00:44:54.000 That's correct.

00:44:54.000 Are you wearing them now?

00:44:55.000 No, I'm wearing the joggers.

00:44:57.000 So these are, you know, workout joggers.

00:45:01.000 Yeah, his outfit today is top-notch.

00:45:05.000 The sneakers match the yellow.

00:45:07.000 He looks like a sad male prostitute who didn't have a dad and whose mother is crying herself to sleep at night. 0.97

00:45:16.000 But he did buy some jeans today that are for plus-size men, did you say?

00:45:22.000 I did the green goblin jump.

00:45:24.000 No, it's called their athletic fit for thick-thighed gentlemen who work out.

00:45:29.000 That's what I Said in a long way.

00:45:31.000 Well, you said fat guys or gay guys or something that I don't agree with.

00:45:35.000 So that hurt.

00:45:36.000 So I ignored it.

00:45:37.000 Okay.

00:45:38.000 Okay.

00:45:38.000 Upset wife.

00:45:39.000 Do you have to buy a bigger waist? 0.59

00:45:41.000 No, actually.

00:45:42.000 No, same waist.

00:45:43.000 Still 31.30.

00:45:45.000 31.30.

00:45:47.000 Holy shit.

00:45:47.000 Hourglass.

00:45:50.000 I think I'm at 36 right now.

00:45:52.000 So your wife, she married like a nebbish little chink, and now she's with Lou Farigno. 1.00

00:45:59.000 Does she like that?

00:46:00.000 You know what's funny?

00:46:01.000 So she told me no.

00:46:03.000 She's like, I don't know why.

00:46:04.000 I mean, you're really going hard on this muscle thing, but like, I already told you I'm not attracted to like muscles.

00:46:09.000 So I'm just letting you think about that.

00:46:11.000 Then today, she was like, just an update.

00:46:15.000 Actually, after I said that, I do like your muscles.

00:46:18.000 Because I'm getting a little more svelte.

00:46:20.000 But there was a time when I was very bulky.

00:46:23.000 I'll show you a picture of it.

00:46:25.000 And I understand that it was a little much.

00:46:28.000 It was like a different guy.

00:46:30.000 But you have to bulk to put on muscle.

00:46:32.000 You have to gain fat for energy, testosterone, and...

00:46:35.000 And what's the pre-workout you made me buy?

00:46:37.000 Gorilla Mind?

00:46:38.000 Yeah.

00:46:39.000 Derek from More Plates, More Dates.

00:46:40.000 He was on Rogan recently.

00:46:42.000 Yeah.

00:46:42.000 Yeah, you liked it.

00:46:43.000 He's a great guy.

00:46:44.000 Canadian dude? 0.61

00:46:46.000 And what's the shit I bought, Gorilla Mind?

00:46:48.000 Gorilla Mode.

00:46:49.000 Gorilla Mode.

00:46:50.000 Because when I heard that, I thought Cernovich must be unhappy looking.

00:46:54.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:55.000 He's Gorilla Mindset.

00:46:57.000 Guerrilla Mindset.

00:46:58.000 And they sell creatine shit.

00:47:00.000 Yeah.

00:47:02.000 Yeah, well, he started out as a nootropics thing, which is like good for your mental clarity.

00:47:06.000 So I also got some of that.

00:47:07.000 I'm going to test it out for work.

00:47:08.000 It makes you more sharp, more on point.

00:47:10.000 By the way, please do.

00:47:12.000 But that shit that Joe Rogan takes for his brain, he's a meathead Guido fucking MMA dude who is currently the leading journalist and the leading medical influencer in America.

00:47:29.000 Yes.

00:47:29.000 Which is the most powerful country in the world.

00:47:31.000 The thing is, he owns that company.

00:47:33.000 Oh, he does?

00:47:33.000 He owns Onit.

00:47:34.000 On it?

00:47:34.000 Yeah, he's dude.

00:47:35.000 On it is getting the best advertising it could possibly receive.

00:47:40.000 Who is it?

00:47:41.000 Aubrey Marcus?

00:47:42.000 Like Gino Benuti, Gino Piscante and Dr. Fauci are head-to-head.

00:47:47.000 You'd be like, what is Gino taking?

00:47:49.000 Him and that guy, Aubrey Marcus, Onit.

00:47:52.000 Who's Aubrey Marcus?

00:47:55.000 He's like a dude who does a lot of psychedelics and a lot of drugs.

00:48:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:02.000 I want to try it.

00:48:03.000 I want to do it.

00:48:04.000 He's in super shape.

00:48:05.000 If I don't go bald and you don't give me tits, I'll take your shit. 1.00

00:48:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:48:10.000 I mean, I'm eating rotten fucking rice right now.

00:48:13.000 Yeah.

00:48:13.000 On it.

00:48:14.000 Onit.com.

00:48:15.000 I guess this is a product place, but now.

00:48:17.000 But you get some.

00:48:18.000 Okay.

00:48:19.000 You know what I got?

00:48:20.000 I got the same thing, but it's Derek's brand, the same Gorilla Mode thing.

00:48:23.000 It's Gorilla Mode.

00:48:24.000 It's both smooth.

00:48:25.000 We'll do both at the same time.

00:48:26.000 Let's start being, I mean, our job, I'm writing all this down.

00:48:30.000 Our job is to, you guys work hard every day.

00:48:34.000 You come home, you watch us to relax, you put your feet up.

00:48:36.000 So our job is to make your life easier.

00:48:40.000 And we usually do that through commentary about the news.

00:48:43.000 Here's what happened today while you were busy working.

00:48:46.000 Here's our take on it.

00:48:47.000 But we should also be guinea pigs. 0.84

00:48:50.000 We should also be trying this shit.

00:48:51.000 So this is skinny gross me.

00:48:53.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:48:54.000 Oh.

00:48:58.000 I don't know how necessary that was.

00:49:04.000 Okay, that's skinny Ryan.

00:49:06.000 Don't care.

00:49:07.000 Okay, now we go to plump Ryan.

00:49:10.000 See the plumpness?

00:49:11.000 Don't care.

00:49:12.000 Okay, and then we go to more fit Ryan, which is this guy.

00:49:16.000 He's more fit.

00:49:18.000 This is when I'm pumped at the gym.

00:49:21.000 You're wearing the same shirt and everything.

00:49:23.000 Do you jerk off in the mirror?

00:49:24.000 No, I do not.

00:49:25.000 Actually, I'm actually very, actually, very judgmental about my form.

00:49:29.000 Like, I'm not impressed.

00:49:31.000 Some things I'm happy about, but no.

00:49:33.000 So you're your hardest critic?

00:49:35.000 Yes.

00:49:35.000 I think I have body dysmorphia somehow.

00:49:38.000 What's funny?

00:49:39.000 I don't understand.

00:49:40.000 Oh, speaking of hardest critic, Maddie, when did you start having a heart issue?

00:49:44.000 What was the cause?

00:49:45.000 I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it.

00:49:48.000 2017, August 30th.

00:49:50.000 That's late.

00:49:51.000 That's when I had it.

00:49:53.000 And my heart condition is hereditary.

00:49:56.000 I have what they call a TTN gene mutation.

00:50:00.000 So it's genetic.

00:50:02.000 That causes my cardiomyopathy.

00:50:04.000 Well, your dad died very young from it.

00:50:06.000 Cancer.

00:50:06.000 My mother had the heart condition.

00:50:08.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:08.000 Comes from the Scottish father.

00:50:10.000 And how old was she when she died?

00:50:12.000 66.

00:50:12.000 She got it at 58.

00:50:14.000 So she made eight years.

00:50:16.000 Huh.

00:50:19.000 Speaking of Joe, sorry to derail Maddie's illness.

00:50:24.000 But Joe's in a bad way.

00:50:27.000 Joe Tanelli, the guy who replaced you, is going through some rough times.

00:50:36.000 Well, that's funny.

00:50:37.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:38.000 He is fucking so this guy.

00:50:41.000 If Gavin got shot or stabbed, he would be going blind and he would have like scoliosis and his body was going to turn into an S. Anything that was guaranteed.

00:50:56.000 That's not a...

00:50:57.000 He has to outdo you now.

00:50:59.000 So now he says he has bladder cancer.

00:51:01.000 He was pissing and shitting blood.

00:51:05.000 But he said he was in the ICU for 11 days, but yet he has.

00:51:09.000 Well, was the shit that he smears on the wall, was it bloody?

00:51:12.000 No.

00:51:14.000 First of all, when you're shitting blood, it looks like black jello.

00:51:18.000 Oh.

00:51:19.000 Like blood pudding.

00:51:21.000 No, it's just, it's like literally like gelatin.

00:51:24.000 Oof.

00:51:26.000 I want that.

00:51:27.000 That is not hot.

00:51:27.000 Yeah, someone said that because Ryan and I both thought we were shitting blood because our shit smells like steel.

00:51:34.000 No.

00:51:35.000 And Robbie, who watches the show, Robbie D, he goes, no, dude, I had blood in my stool for a while.

00:51:42.000 It's pitch black.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, and it's like jello.

00:51:46.000 Who do you think does a better job of explaining the left, James O'Keefe or Libs of TikTok?

00:51:51.000 Definitely James O'Keefe.

00:51:52.000 James O'Keefe is a main course.

00:51:54.000 That's a steak dinner exposing the left.

00:51:57.000 Libs of TikTok is awesome, but it's candy Corn.

00:52:00.000 It's fun little delectables.

00:52:03.000 It's like bread before you eat.

00:52:06.000 There's no real substance there.

00:52:08.000 I love them, her actually.

00:52:11.000 But no, James is changing America permanently and journalism.

00:52:17.000 Okay, so here's Joe Tonelli.

00:52:21.000 3.18 a.m.

00:52:24.000 He's sending this to people.

00:52:26.000 And as the guy who got this, James points out, he's British, he goes, have you noticed that Joe gets really sick whenever people are not looking at him?

00:52:36.000 Like Thanksgiving, he had cancer.

00:52:41.000 Christmas, he had another huge, terrible bout.

00:52:45.000 And now that Arnie is back after being sick, and people are like, oh, Arnie's back.

00:52:49.000 People are looking at Arnie.

00:52:51.000 So he's like, actually, what about me?

00:52:53.000 I'm dying.

00:52:54.000 So he goes, yo, the reason I called the 1-11 is so is so you know I called the urologist on Westchester Medical Center.

00:53:01.000 I told her the bleeding was really bad.

00:53:05.000 He's bleeding out of his dick, I guess.

00:53:08.000 She told me, head to the hospital.

00:53:10.000 I'm still here now.

00:53:11.000 It's 4.30 a.m.

00:53:13.000 They got the bleeding finally under control.

00:53:15.000 What do you mean?

00:53:16.000 They stopped your dick bleeding?

00:53:17.000 Yeah, they put compressions.

00:53:19.000 Where?

00:53:20.000 In your urethra?

00:53:21.000 In your urethra?

00:53:22.000 They put a tampon pencil in your urethra?

00:53:24.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:53:26.000 I have severe infection in the bladder.

00:53:28.000 The ultrasound showed more nodules and lesions besides the ones that were on my last scan six days ago.

00:53:36.000 As you know, I told you I have appointment on Thursday instead of goddamn May.

00:53:41.000 I'm real.

00:53:43.000 Anyway, because of the new findings, I saw urology in the ER.

00:53:48.000 They're trying to get me scheduled for early today or tomorrow.

00:53:51.000 Because of the severity, I'm growing these new nodules and lesions.

00:53:56.000 Lesions?

00:53:57.000 This is where you start reading.

00:53:59.000 But it goes on.

00:54:01.000 The ER doc said I have to get this procedure done ASAP and remove them and test for the malignancy of the cancer.

00:54:10.000 The urologist, who I saw a couple hours ago, said she never saw nodules and lesions grow like that.

00:54:17.000 How many times have you been doing that?

00:54:18.000 She should have recorded him and just did the surgery right then and there. 0.99

00:54:20.000 Should have.

00:54:22.000 He's a groundbreaking case.

00:54:24.000 Especially being in the ICU for 11 days.

00:54:29.000 But he was caught at the bar in the middle of his 11-day run.

00:54:33.000 Yeah, he got.

00:54:34.000 Oh, they let me out.

00:54:34.000 I had to go.

00:54:35.000 He left the ICU to go relax, have a drink.

00:54:39.000 He was in a bar on that Saturday.

00:54:43.000 See, that's the thing.

00:54:44.000 Like, I'm sure the viewers at home are like, not Maddie and I, because we're used to this shit.

00:54:50.000 Oh, it's hilarious.

00:54:52.000 But I'm sure you're going like, guys, guys, guys, this might be true.

00:54:56.000 No.

00:54:56.000 This is lie 486.

00:55:01.000 So, although I'm sure you guys are going, are you sure?

00:55:05.000 Well, here's the greatest story.

00:55:06.000 And our viewers should know this if they ever watch the episode with Joe, because you asked Joe if he had ever been in the military.

00:55:12.000 He says, yep, was in the Marine Corps a very long time.

00:55:15.000 So Joe's big thing is he can't, he has to get insurance.

00:55:19.000 So now he says he's waiting for Medicaid.

00:55:21.000 First of all, if you needed surgery that bad, they're just going to do it and the hospital will get you your Medicaid.

00:55:26.000 So I go, Joe, I think it was me, you, Big John, and Jose sitting at the table.

00:55:31.000 So I go, Joe, I said, if you're that sick and you need insurance that bad, why don't you just go to the VA?

00:55:36.000 Go to the VA.

00:55:37.000 And he just said, he just looked at me and was like, really?

00:55:40.000 Seriously?

00:55:40.000 Really?

00:55:41.000 Seriously?

00:55:41.000 You're going to go there?

00:55:42.000 Yeah, I'm going to go to your lie.

00:55:44.000 Yeah.

00:55:46.000 Fucking retard. 1.00

00:55:48.000 How dare you approach my lie?

00:55:50.000 Yeah.

00:55:51.000 How dare you call me on that?

00:57:54.000 i don't have that anymore i don't i don't want to be number three and he mentions a girl we know who died uh and another guy who died oh geez he's he's he's pulling those two out yeah i don't want to be number three and he mentions the two of them and me anyway it's close to 5 a.m hopefully i'm going home shortly they have me on strong antibiotics the infection is real bad and the pain is unbearable i can deal with when i was admitted to the hospital back in december for

00:58:23.000 nine days i had the same infection oh you mean when everyone was talking about christmas and you were losing attention um that's when he got fired from amazon the infection has gotten worse so they're giving me a broader span of ivb iv antibiotics a lot stronger from when i was in the hospital by the way i'm correcting unbelievable grammar and spelling mistakes here um I'll keep you posted how the upcoming appointment goes.

00:58:49.000 What a figure.

00:58:50.000 You figure there would be a little bit better grammar, especially somebody with an extensive medical field as Joe.

00:58:55.000 Yeah, he's a nurse.

00:58:56.000 He's a registered nurse.

00:58:56.000 He was a flight nurse.

00:58:57.000 He was a paramedic.

00:58:59.000 He got a Dewey and missed the appointment, and that's the only thing we can find online.

00:59:07.000 If you at home were to look up the judge Eric Paul Press, P-R-E-S-S, you would see a judge who was disappointed in Joe for not appearing in court.

00:59:20.000 Joseph Tonelli at White Plains City Court, case number CR 07990-21.

00:59:29.000 He did not show up.

00:59:31.000 Sent a warrant letter.

00:59:32.000 That's actually real.

00:59:33.000 Yeah.

00:59:34.000 And I don't give a shit if someone is drunk driving and doesn't show up to court.

00:59:37.000 I'm just saying that when you do look up this guy, you see nothing but crime and lies.

00:59:45.000 This totally blew his court date off.

00:59:48.000 Selfie.

00:59:49.000 You know what he's probably setting up?

00:59:51.000 He's probably setting up, oh, I'm dying of platter cancer.

00:59:55.000 I couldn't make it to court.

00:59:57.000 He's planting the seeds for the field he's going to play fucking.

01:00:02.000 He's just in remission every time that thing isn't happening.

01:00:05.000 That works at the bar, but...

01:00:08.000 You don't go to court and say, I sorry, I couldn't be here.

01:00:10.000 I had cancer.

01:00:11.000 They'll go, okay, well, where's your paperwork?

01:00:14.000 You can't just randomly say.

01:00:16.000 No.

01:00:17.000 This guy's calling from Alberta.

01:00:20.000 Calling about the trucker stuff going on, Fact.

01:00:22.000 587.

01:00:24.000 Joe's live.

01:00:25.000 Yeah, go ahead.

01:00:27.000 Got a bad echo.

01:00:29.000 I don't know if we can do anything about that.

01:00:33.000 Is this Cody Canuck?

01:00:36.000 It's not good that we have a bad echo.

01:00:38.000 Is it...

01:00:39.000 Maybe we should.

01:00:40.000 You know what I'm asking?

01:00:41.000 Just hold on the line.

01:00:42.000 I'm going to.

01:00:43.000 Here we go.

01:00:45.000 Ryan doesn't know how to do his job.

01:00:47.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:00:48.000 The echo is a thing that's been going on.

01:00:50.000 Okay, now let's try.

01:00:51.000 Hey.

01:00:54.000 Okay, we're in the host room.

01:00:55.000 I understand.

01:00:55.000 Please stop talking.

01:00:56.000 Computer man.

01:00:58.000 Okay.

01:00:59.000 587, you're online again.

01:01:01.000 Hey, thanks for taking my call.

01:01:04.000 I just wanted to support, throw out a lot of support for the truckers.

01:01:08.000 I'm working up in the oil sands in Fort McMurray.

01:01:13.000 I'm going to be losing my job here at the end of this set.

01:01:19.000 It's already cost me a lot.

01:01:23.000 I'm not allowed to, like, it's a fly-in camp job.

01:01:26.000 The government won't let me fly.

01:01:28.000 It costs me about $1,000 a month right now just to get to work.

01:01:32.000 I got to drive all the way.

01:01:34.000 How long is the drive?

01:01:37.000 It's like seven, eight hours.

01:01:40.000 Holy shit.

01:01:42.000 I used to know a couple girls that used to go up there and clean their camps. 1.00

01:01:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:47.000 They would van him in and they would go clean the housing for all these guys and everything up in the oil fields.

01:01:55.000 And they'd probably fuck them for.

01:01:57.000 Oh, yeah, sure.

01:01:58.000 They were wild chicks. 0.69

01:01:59.000 They were wild chicks. 0.69

01:02:01.000 Well, you know, sir, I feel bad for you, but that's the price you pay for being a Nazi. 0.88

01:02:06.000 Yeah, I know, right?

01:02:08.000 So anyway, everyone's really excited.

01:02:11.000 Like, up where I work, because it's such a high-paying job and it's a fly-in, fly-out thing, like, most of the people have got vaccinated, even the guys who didn't want to.

01:02:23.000 But even the guys who got vaccinated, they're all, for the most part, pretty happy to see the truckers and all that stuff going on.

01:02:32.000 But yeah, it's pretty crazy to think.

01:02:34.000 You must be tempted to get the vaccine.

01:02:36.000 What prevents you from getting it?

01:02:39.000 I just, based on my research, I just don't think it's safe.

01:02:42.000 Like, my direct supervisor, they had an on-site vaccine clinic.

01:02:47.000 He got the vaccine back in May or April.

01:02:51.000 He just got back to work.

01:02:52.000 It almost killed him.

01:02:54.000 And they wouldn't even give him an exemption for the second dose.

01:02:57.000 He had a blood clot or whatever.

01:03:01.000 He was off work for like six months.

01:03:03.000 Yeah, there's a lot of vaccine injury.

01:03:05.000 So they would not give him an exemption for the second dose.

01:03:09.000 That's fucking amazing.

01:03:11.000 They made him get another one.

01:03:13.000 Wow, thanks for watching.

01:03:14.000 I know all kinds of people that have all kinds of stuff.

01:03:17.000 All right, thanks for calling, buddy.

01:03:18.000 I saw this video of this woman.

01:03:21.000 So she has a one-year-old and a three-year-old, right?

01:03:24.000 The one-year-old's still breastfeeding.

01:03:25.000 The three-year-old, they're horsing around.

01:03:27.000 He falls, hardening his arm.

01:03:29.000 He can't move his arm.

01:03:30.000 She thinks it's broken.

01:03:32.000 She drives.

01:03:34.000 It would be like the equivalent of us going to Stanford, Connecticut.

01:03:39.000 So it's like a 40-minute drive.

01:03:41.000 She gets there.

01:03:43.000 She goes, I just want an x-ray.

01:03:45.000 I'm worried about my kid.

01:03:46.000 I think he may have broken his forearm.

01:03:49.000 He really took a tumble and he's crying.

01:03:52.000 And we got it wrapped up.

01:03:54.000 And they go, okay, no problem.

01:03:55.000 Yep, we'll take care of that.

01:03:56.000 Fill all the forms.

01:03:58.000 The kids don't have to be vaccinated.

01:03:59.000 They're one and three.

01:04:01.000 But she's not vaccinated.

01:04:03.000 And they go, are you vaccinated?

01:04:05.000 And she goes, no.

01:04:07.000 And then they go, why not?

01:04:08.000 Which is like, what?

01:04:11.000 And she goes, well, I'll die in every reason.

01:04:13.000 I just didn't want to do it.

01:04:15.000 And they go, okay.

01:04:17.000 And then they go back and forth.

01:04:18.000 There's some mumbling in the back rooms.

01:04:21.000 And they go, you can't come into this hospital.

01:04:26.000 And she goes, okay, well, I'm a guardian.

01:04:28.000 She's wearing a fucking mask. 1.00

01:04:30.000 Yeah.

01:04:31.000 Well, I'm a guardian of these children.

01:04:34.000 And they go, well, they can't be alone.

01:04:37.000 And now you are not vaccinated.

01:04:40.000 So you can't leave them here.

01:04:43.000 So they're going to have to go.

01:04:46.000 So she takes her kid with its broken arm back in the car. 0.80

01:04:51.000 And she's like, where do I go?

01:04:54.000 Like, where do I get my kid x-rayed at the vet?

01:04:57.000 Jesus Christ, we're down With animals now.

01:05:01.000 Yeah, I've seen a similar story about that.

01:05:04.000 About a guy, they took him off the transplant last year, refused to give him a.

01:05:09.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:10.000 That was like a couple days ago, I seen it.

01:05:12.000 But there's a risk of myocarditis.

01:05:16.000 He's clearly immunocompromised.

01:05:19.000 He's waiting for a fucking heart.

01:05:21.000 Yeah.

01:05:22.000 And they purposely lower your immune system so your body doesn't reject if and when you do get look at this.

01:05:30.000 Minor detail.

01:05:32.000 Minor.

01:05:32.000 Did everyone hear that at home?

01:05:34.000 Minor detail.

01:05:36.000 When you're awake.

01:05:37.000 Kidney transplant, transplant.

01:05:38.000 Kidney transplant, liver transplant, kill your immune system so you'll take the heart. 0.63

01:05:44.000 But if you have a shitty immune system, you don't want the vaccine.

01:05:48.000 Right.

01:05:48.000 You're going to get myocarditis.

01:05:50.000 You're going to get a million problems.

01:05:52.000 Well, you're open to a lot of cancers and stuff like that because you're more susceptible because your immune system's not.

01:05:59.000 That's why I was so concerned about Gavin Newsome photographing himself with Magic Johnson.

01:06:03.000 The guy just had fucking AIDS.

01:06:07.000 He had acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

01:06:11.000 Vaccine refusal removes boss and patient from heart transplant waitlist.

01:06:15.000 As it should.

01:06:16.000 Wow.

01:06:17.000 Fuck them all.

01:06:18.000 I'm going to do this show as the other side.

01:06:22.000 Like the Nazis have descended upon Ottawa.

01:06:25.000 It's disgusting.

01:06:27.000 Thank God we're not giving a heart to some fucking asshole.

01:06:31.000 Oh, there it is.

01:06:31.000 Look.

01:06:33.000 Yeah.

01:06:34.000 Oh, that's ingredient.

01:06:35.000 Good.

01:06:36.000 A woman wasn't able to spread COVID in a hospital just because her fucking stupid cunt child hurt his arm. 1.00

01:06:42.000 This is from the Atlantic.

01:06:44.000 Surprisingly, it's a terrible idea to deny medical care to unvaccinated people.

01:06:48.000 Hot take. 0.79

01:06:49.000 Oh, hot take. 0.99

01:06:50.000 Well, these should be illegal.

01:06:51.000 These radical leftist sources like Newsweek, Newsweek's already gone alt-right.

01:06:57.000 But CNN is headed that way too.

01:07:00.000 And The Atlantic is because it pays the bills.

01:07:02.000 I mean, what is The Guardian?

01:07:04.000 Where do they stand?

01:07:06.000 The Guardian is radical left, but I think that can last because it's Britain.

01:07:12.000 Britain will tolerate radical leftism.

01:07:14.000 But America, like there's this big controversy now that Juliani was on the unmasked singer.

01:07:20.000 Yeah.

01:07:21.000 And a judge walked out.

01:07:23.000 I'm not sure who it was.

01:07:24.000 Because he took off his mask.

01:07:28.000 And they go, why did they do that?

01:07:30.000 Why did they try to normalize a fascist like Giuliani?

01:07:34.000 And you're like, shithead, America's 50-50 with this right-left shit.

01:07:39.000 So they want to make money for ratings.

01:07:42.000 So they'll have a bunch of lefties and a bunch of righties. 1.00

01:07:46.000 They'll have Tucker Carlson.

01:07:48.000 They'll have fucking Chris Hayes. 1.00

01:07:50.000 They're just trying to please people because they want to get paid, which is a good thing.

01:07:55.000 Earning a living.

01:07:57.000 But it hasn't, the way that a lot of these people see, a lot of these critics see America is there's good people like Chris Hayes and there's evil murdering fascists who eat fucking innocent babies like Tucker Carlson.

01:08:14.000 That was Jenny McCarthy? 1.00

01:08:17.000 You can't do that.

01:08:20.000 I don't get that show, by the way.

01:08:22.000 I can't tell your voice by how you sing.

01:08:24.000 It could be Maddie O'Dell and Ryan Rivera.

01:08:27.000 I've never watched this show.

01:08:28.000 I'd have no idea.

01:08:31.000 I have a very distinct singing voice.

01:08:32.000 Okay, let's hear it.

01:08:33.000 Yo! 1.00

01:08:35.000 Like that.

01:08:36.000 Highs and lows.

01:08:37.000 Try to guess if this is me.

01:08:39.000 It's my life.

01:08:41.000 It's now or never.

01:08:46.000 I'm going to leave.

01:08:46.000 I don't know who that is.

01:08:48.000 You have to get up and protest.

01:08:49.000 Plus, I'm in a mask.

01:08:50.000 So you're hearing, it's my life.

01:08:53.000 It's now or never.

01:08:56.000 Did you see the newest one?

01:08:58.000 If not even people.

01:09:00.000 Oh, it's like a digital.

01:09:01.000 Did you got them suits with all the golf balls on them?

01:09:04.000 And then there's like a hologram of some avatar person.

01:09:09.000 So you have to guess by the voice.

01:09:12.000 Oh, it's...

01:09:13.000 I can't guess by the voice.

01:09:14.000 Alter ego.

01:09:15.000 I can recognize Michael Jackson's voice.

01:09:19.000 And that's about it.

01:09:21.000 This one's even nuttier.

01:09:23.000 Maybe Wolfman Jack?

01:09:25.000 This is so gay, so weird. 1.00

01:09:28.000 I hate the future.

01:09:28.000 He's not even a person on his face.

01:09:29.000 I hate the future.

01:09:32.000 This is freaking nutty nuts.

01:09:35.000 Fox is making television history and bringing you the worst.

01:09:38.000 Who is anybody these days?

01:09:40.000 Who are these people?

01:09:41.000 Alter ego, first look.

01:09:43.000 Look.

01:09:45.000 Why do you feel like you need an alter ego?

01:09:47.000 There's something about how I look behind this alter ego that I feel like it's held me back.

01:09:52.000 Lost dreams and second chances are reignited when singers from all of them into the metaverse.

01:09:59.000 If they interview them, I kind of get it.

01:10:02.000 There's something there.

01:10:04.000 But they're interviewing.

01:10:06.000 Why did you chop your ex-wife's head off? 1.00

01:10:09.000 Well, you know, okay, people.

01:10:11.000 This is all conditioning for the metaverse.

01:10:13.000 That's right.

01:10:14.000 That's what the fucking stupid shit is.

01:10:15.000 Yeah.

01:10:16.000 Leave your body, spend time in the verse, brah. 0.95

01:10:19.000 Yeah.

01:10:20.000 Kenny Hotz is releasing Kenny vs.

01:10:21.000 Penny 4K on YouTube.

01:10:23.000 What was your relationship?

01:10:24.000 Jesus Christ.

01:10:25.000 It never ends.

01:10:26.000 I just watched this, too.

01:10:28.000 I know Kenny Hotz tangentially were good.

01:10:31.000 We were good friends.

01:10:32.000 I don't know how he feels about me now.

01:10:33.000 He probably thinks I'm a Nazi.

01:10:35.000 I like the guy.

01:10:36.000 I was on an episode of his show.

01:10:39.000 It's like, did I fuck Lady Die?

01:10:41.000 Why does this keep coming up?

01:10:43.000 I watched it.

01:10:44.000 It was good.

01:10:45.000 It's not even that popular of a show.

01:10:47.000 It's a very niche type of show.

01:10:50.000 It's like the people who watch Kenny vs.

01:10:52.000 Spenny are the people who send questions to things and comment on stuff.

01:10:59.000 What was your relationship like?

01:11:01.000 We were good pals.

01:11:02.000 We laughed a lot.

01:11:06.000 I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I consider him a very funny dude.

01:11:10.000 Let's see what Steve has to say.

01:11:11.000 941.

01:11:13.000 Fuck.

01:11:15.000 Go ahead, Steve.

01:11:16.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:11:16.000 Hey, man.

01:11:20.000 First of all, I can't hear Maddie on the phone, so it sounds like my older brother yelling at me from a different room.

01:11:30.000 Can you hear me?

01:11:32.000 Okay, let's fix that.

01:11:33.000 I can hear you.

01:11:34.000 Oh, you can hear me?

01:11:35.000 This is Maddie.

01:11:37.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:38.000 Now I can hear you.

01:11:39.000 Wow, weird.

01:11:40.000 Yeah, on Holdy Camp.

01:11:42.000 But yeah, so he's starting to release all this shit on 4K.

01:11:48.000 I love that show, Kenny vs.

01:11:49.000 Spenny.

01:11:50.000 And I saw him on Louis J. Gomez's podcast, and they're apparently trying to reignite it or something.

01:12:01.000 And just your thought that your episode is not uploaded on 4K.

01:12:08.000 Oh, okay.

01:12:11.000 A little slight throw machine thrown on you.

01:12:14.000 That's not 4K with me.

01:12:16.000 Yeah.

01:12:17.000 Yeah, it's a bit of a...

01:12:19.000 Hey, by the way, I'm so mad that I can't share sense.

01:12:24.000 I'm banned from Facebook right now because I literally just typed censored.tv.

01:12:30.000 Wow.

01:12:30.000 I believe it.

01:12:31.000 To try to share it.

01:12:32.000 So where did you type it, in a post or in a DM?

01:12:36.000 Post.

01:12:38.000 Huh.

01:12:38.000 Wow.

01:12:40.000 And now you're banned.

01:12:41.000 It immediately, immediately, I'm on a ban where it says, like, you are restricted.

01:12:47.000 It's going to the bottom of the news feed.

01:12:50.000 So I'm fully restricted, but yeah.

01:12:53.000 We have to come up with an alternate URL that's like, you know, innocent stuff.

01:12:57.000 I tried sharing Indian Joker face. 0.97

01:13:00.000 Wow.

01:13:01.000 Is it temporarily banned or are you banned forever?

01:13:08.000 Like I said, it pushes my, whatever I post now goes to.

01:13:12.000 Facebook told me goes to the bottom of the face.

01:13:14.000 I guess you're like shadow banned.

01:13:15.000 Shadow banned.

01:13:16.000 So you're not really banned.

01:13:17.000 You can still use your Facebook.

01:13:21.000 Yeah, Facebook's gay. 0.76

01:13:22.000 You're hidden.

01:13:23.000 I mean, I used to talk to family.

01:13:26.000 And everybody thought Indian Joker face ruled, and that's the funniest thing. 1.00

01:13:32.000 Thank God for these YouTube channels, man.

01:13:34.000 Stop uploading 22-minute videos, you fucking assholes.

01:13:38.000 Come on.

01:13:39.000 Subscribe, you cunts.

01:13:41.000 No, I like that the YouTube guys are putting up these short videos.

01:13:45.000 I'm back.

01:13:46.000 In a way, it's almost like you never left.

01:13:49.000 It's like.

01:14:08.000 What were you saying, sir?

01:14:11.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:14:12.000 Yeah.

01:14:13.000 My youngest boy has started doing Indian Joker face, and he's so bad.

01:14:17.000 He's just like.

01:14:20.000 Also, kids, when they do Indian Joker face, they go. 0.88

01:14:24.000 So you can't even see.

01:14:25.000 It's like, dude, I need to see you.

01:14:27.000 You have to get the perfect angle.

01:14:29.000 You need to be like.

01:14:32.000 Oh, fuck.

01:14:33.000 I'm going to put you on mute, sir.

01:14:34.000 847, you are on mute.

01:14:36.000 We have a VIP calling in.

01:14:39.000 Uh-oh.

01:14:40.000 Fucking.

01:14:41.000 Baby bro.

01:14:42.000 Fucking.

01:14:42.000 You know, I think it's somebody else.

01:14:45.000 Fucking Cody Canuck.

01:14:47.000 Hey, what's up, Cody?

01:14:50.000 Yo, what's up?

01:14:51.000 I just want to say that the fucking truckers are fucking heroes, man.

01:14:56.000 And the fucking support is overwhelming.

01:15:00.000 The tides have fucking turned.

01:15:02.000 All the shit that we fucking unvaccinated people have been taking over these past how many months?

01:15:09.000 The shit's fucking changing.

01:15:11.000 And it's hard to ignore now.

01:15:13.000 You see people out on the streets, people on fucking overpasses and shit, big Canadian flags.

01:15:19.000 I'm in Calgary here.

01:15:21.000 And just want to say, the little brothers ticking your ass, motherfuckers. 0.98

01:15:27.000 So you think it's cool to wave a Nazi flag in the capital of the country and a Confederate flag promoting slavery? 0.55

01:15:38.000 Is that what's good to you?

01:15:40.000 That's cool to you?

01:15:42.000 I do not think that's cool, but that's obviously been fucking set up.

01:15:48.000 Well, I think they're all Nazis. 0.97

01:15:50.000 They're clearly there to deny the Holocaust and to say that we should still have slavery in America.

01:15:57.000 It's Canadians concerned about American history and German history. 0.85

01:16:03.000 If there's one thing that truckers care about, it's the way World War II was done and the way the American Civil War was done.

01:16:11.000 That's their top two things.

01:16:15.000 They want to shut up about it.

01:16:17.000 That's definitely something that we were all thinking about when Trump came out vaccine.

01:16:24.000 There's no fucking way of taking this vaccine because, you know, the fucking Jews and all, right? 1.00

01:16:30.000 Yeah.

01:16:31.000 The Jews. 0.64

01:16:33.000 Are you going to do some on-the-street reporting?

01:16:35.000 Fucking, I don't know how far Calgary is from anything, but it's in the middle.

01:16:40.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:16:41.000 Appreciate it.

01:16:42.000 Yeah.

01:16:43.000 Easy.

01:16:44.000 Take her easy.

01:16:45.000 Let's go back to my brother KY.

01:16:47.000 All right, let's see where he be.

01:16:49.000 You know, they tried to stop, to try to pass a law saying that the Canadians couldn't stand on the side or try to block any robots.

01:16:58.000 Oh, can you turn the mic a little bit towards you again?

01:17:00.000 Oh, sorry, sorry.

01:17:01.000 We lost you.

01:17:02.000 Yeah.

01:17:03.000 They banned it in Nova Scotia.

01:17:05.000 Well, Trudeau is trying to push this War Measures Act, which sounds good.

01:17:10.000 That's a war measure.

01:17:11.000 That must be important.

01:17:12.000 And it's to prevent shit like this.

01:17:15.000 It's him enacting tyrannical power.

01:17:19.000 I heard he's in fucking America.

01:17:22.000 I wouldn't doubt it.

01:17:23.000 Probably a Camp David.

01:17:26.000 Him the old Biden starter.

01:17:28.000 He's such a fucking pussy.

01:17:29.000 Well, my brother went camping with him.

01:17:31.000 We should bring that up.

01:17:33.000 Are you calling my brother?

01:17:34.000 Yep.

01:17:36.000 Doom, dean, doom.

01:17:40.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

01:17:41.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

01:17:44.000 Skype shut down in a class action lawsuit because people discovered that the xylophone sound actually is the word motherfucker.

01:17:54.000 Yes.

01:17:54.000 Doom dean doom.

01:17:55.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

01:17:59.000 Hey, man.

01:18:00.000 What's going on, KY?

01:18:05.000 yeah, I'm still walking around.

01:18:09.000 Got to enable that video fuck.

01:18:11.000 Oh, there we go.

01:18:12.000 It's colder than a witch's teeth out here.

01:18:16.000 No way, eh?

01:18:20.000 Now, you went camping with Justin Trudeau once, did you not?

01:18:24.000 I did, yeah.

01:18:25.000 I went with his family.

01:18:28.000 And so you went on a river trip with canoes, which sounds scary to me.

01:18:33.000 I don't know how you follow those maps.

01:18:35.000 But I've told this story 100 times, but he was concerned that a campfire would impact the carbon footprint of the trip.

01:18:48.000 Yeah, he thought a carbon footprint was a literal footprint of carbon.

01:18:58.000 Ash.

01:19:05.000 Now, I brought this up on the show and readers sent in, they said, a fire, like burning wood, is the same like net value of carbon emission as the wood in the forest moldy and rotting.

01:19:21.000 It's the same amount of carbon dioxide.

01:19:23.000 You're not fucking with anything.

01:19:25.000 Go ahead.

01:19:26.000 Burn it up.

01:19:27.000 You haven't changed anything.

01:19:30.000 Yeah, I mean, not only that, he also took a canoe with all of our food barrels down a waterfall that we were supposed to portage around and lost all our food barrels.

01:19:44.000 So for the last three days of the trip, we were eating nuts and beef jerky.

01:19:50.000 And in hindsight, I'm thinking, isn't that just such a perfect metaphor for him as a prime minister?

01:19:59.000 He just goes down a waterfall and by his own incompetence, loses all of the food.

01:20:05.000 Wait, this is fucking gold, and we're losing you because the mic is spazzing out and the video is gone.

01:20:13.000 Ryan, what's going on with the mic there?

01:20:16.000 Is that Kyle's fault?

01:20:17.000 I don't know.

01:20:18.000 The last caller had that, but then the caller afterwards didn't.

01:20:21.000 Okay.

01:20:21.000 We can try to...

01:20:22.000 Ryan's fucking up somehow.

01:20:23.000 So you guys had canoes and you had a lot of different things to put in each canoe.

01:20:29.000 Justin Trudeau's canoe had the food and he's rowing away and he's like, I think I'll take this turn.

01:20:37.000 And you're like, dude, what are you doing?

01:20:39.000 He's off a waterfall and turfs all the food.

01:20:45.000 Yeah, and not only that, we're like, the map says you can't go down this waterfall.

01:20:51.000 You have to portage.

01:20:52.000 Can you at least give us the food before you go down?

01:20:56.000 And he's like, no, I'm out.

01:21:00.000 I got it.

01:21:01.000 I got this.

01:21:06.000 So he ignored the portage.

01:21:08.000 He took the waterfall under his own wing.

01:21:11.000 And just like Canada, he fucking destroyed everything. 0.62

01:21:16.000 By the end of the week-long canoe trip, we were all so hungry.

01:21:23.000 Oh my God.

01:21:24.000 Yeah.

01:21:25.000 How many more days after he blew all your food off the waterfall were you camping?

01:21:32.000 A good three days.

01:21:34.000 Three days.

01:21:35.000 Yeah.

01:21:36.000 Jeez.

01:21:37.000 Yeah, we had to stop at places and try and fish for extra food because we were so hungry.

01:21:45.000 Oh, my God.

01:21:47.000 That's the future of Canada in a nutshell.

01:21:50.000 Nuts, beef jerky, and they had to fish for the rest.

01:21:52.000 What's up, guys?

01:21:55.000 Who's that?

01:21:56.000 Yeah.

01:21:56.000 Oh, just everywhere I'm going, it's just good people saying what's up.

01:22:03.000 It happens that I'm carrying around this giant Canada flag.

01:22:07.000 Oh, because the flag.

01:22:08.000 Can you go up to someone and say, let's go, Brandon?

01:22:13.000 Yeah.

01:22:14.000 Let's just say it to everyone.

01:22:17.000 Let's go, Brandon!

01:22:20.000 That girl didn't seem like the right. 1.00

01:22:23.000 Wrong demographic there. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Yeah.

01:22:25.000 Yeah.

01:22:26.000 Yeah.

01:22:27.000 What about, oh, these truckers, for sure.

01:22:31.000 Yeah.

01:22:33.000 Holy fuck, man.

01:22:34.000 My head is frozen.

01:22:37.000 Don't be a pussy.

01:22:43.000 Come on, come on. 0.99

01:22:43.000 What about this guy? 0.99

01:22:45.000 Nobody there.

01:22:46.000 No one there.

01:22:47.000 He's in his little bed.

01:22:49.000 Yeah.

01:22:49.000 Oh, shit.

01:22:50.000 Freedom convoy.

01:22:53.000 Anyone in here?

01:22:55.000 No?

01:22:56.000 Well, they're not going to be in the driver's seat.

01:22:58.000 They're jerking off.

01:23:04.000 Where are all your friends, Kyle?

01:23:06.000 You don't have any friends?

01:23:08.000 Let's go, Brandon.

01:23:12.000 He didn't really seem to get it.

01:23:14.000 No, that's the Mexicans that they paid to show the driveway. 0.99

01:23:17.000 I'm Todd.

01:23:18.000 We're not letting you go until we get a Let's Go Brandon.

01:23:23.000 It could be all night.

01:23:25.000 This could be the new telephone.

01:23:27.000 The police.

01:23:31.000 That's too sketchy.

01:23:32.000 One in 10 chance, I'd say.

01:23:33.000 One in 20, maybe.

01:23:35.000 You think?

01:23:36.000 Yeah.

01:23:37.000 Isn't it weird how in the States we wear Canada Goose, but over there you wear the American.

01:23:43.000 No.

01:23:44.000 No.

01:23:45.000 Is it weird we wear Canada Goose here, but over there they wear American Eagle?

01:23:51.000 Great joke, Ryan.

01:23:52.000 That was awesome.

01:23:58.000 Are you the only person there?

01:23:59.000 This is like Johnny LaRue on SCTV doing his fucking Christmas goodbyes, New Year's Eve thing.

01:24:09.000 I think I'm actually getting frostbite on my hand right now.

01:24:12.000 Can we see your hands?

01:24:13.000 This is cool.

01:24:13.000 We're watching my brother die of hypothermia live uncensored.

01:24:19.000 This is good for ratings.

01:24:20.000 Let's see the hands.

01:24:22.000 It's so cool.

01:24:23.000 Let's see your little blue hands. 1.00

01:24:24.000 Oh, ow. 0.99

01:24:25.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:24:26.000 Put them in your office.

01:24:30.000 They said, yep.

01:24:32.000 They did?

01:24:34.000 That guy's wearing fucking shorts.

01:24:37.000 They said it.

01:24:38.000 Was he wearing shorts?

01:24:41.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:43.000 Hey, can you guys hold my flag for a second so I can put my glove on?

01:24:47.000 I think I'm dying of frostbite here.

01:24:51.000 You're dying of being a pussy fuck. 1.00

01:24:52.000 Oh, you don't want to put it on the ground.

01:24:54.000 That's admirable.

01:24:55.000 Hell yeah.

01:24:56.000 So cold.

01:24:57.000 All right, Kyle.

01:24:57.000 Thanks for coming on the show.

01:24:59.000 Thanks for making those guys say, let's go, Brandon.

01:25:01.000 Rock on, buddy.

01:25:03.000 Okay.

01:25:04.000 Cold, Timmy.

01:25:05.000 My brother on the phone.

01:25:09.000 Just the trail-off.

01:25:11.000 The trail-off tears.

01:25:13.000 Brian, let's read a letter or two.

01:25:14.000 Only read the ones that I have flagged.

01:25:16.000 Oh, kidokie.

01:25:20.000 And there's this on the screen in case you want to read that while I do this.

01:25:24.000 I have a new thing I've noticed.

01:25:27.000 Do you guys think women's foreheads are getting bigger? 0.79

01:25:30.000 Interesting.

01:25:31.000 I can't tell you how many pictures I've seen of a beautiful young woman where her forehead is this big. 1.00

01:25:36.000 And she's like, I don't remember girls having foreheads this big. 0.66

01:25:42.000 I was the lead designer of a major fitness app company for three years.

01:25:45.000 Just got canceled because some high-profile influencers complained about comments you made on social media.

01:25:52.000 They dropped me faster than hot potato.

01:25:54.000 I believe I quoted Gavin on YouTube.

01:25:57.000 Get me on air.

01:25:58.000 Tell the story.

01:25:59.000 Okay, Zerp.

01:26:00.000 Come on up.

01:26:01.000 Yeah, call in and say you're Zerp. 0.93

01:26:03.000 I think I saw you in the mailbag.

01:26:05.000 You said you quoted me saying trans people are just mentally ill-gays.

01:26:10.000 Shouldn't it be beholden on the outraged to prove what you say is false?

01:26:17.000 True.

01:26:18.000 If I say dogs are cats, which is not offensive, I'm sure you can go to a thing that goes, no, dogs are lorem ipsum savantos.

01:26:28.000 Canines.

01:26:29.000 And the other ones are felines.

01:26:30.000 And cats are felines.

01:26:33.000 So Gavin's wrong.

01:26:35.000 But if you say trans are just mentally okay, before you are allowed the privilege of being offended, you have to prove that they're not mentally okays. 0.96

01:26:47.000 And I don't think you can do that.

01:26:51.000 I don't think you can do that.

01:26:51.000 So fuck you.

01:26:52.000 Yeah.

01:26:53.000 Like with the Joe Rogan thing, I got in big trouble for saying I don't think that Muslims are compatible with the West because they have an inbreeding problem with the first cousins. 1.00

01:27:05.000 And it went, oh, he thinks Muslims shouldn't be allowed in America because they're all inbreds.

01:27:09.000 Well, it's not exactly what I said, but prove me wrong.

01:27:14.000 Mental health challenges are common.

01:27:15.000 In fact, one in five people will experience mental illness, blah, blah, blah.

01:27:19.000 41% have attempted suicide.

01:27:22.000 Holy shit.

01:27:23.000 Wow.

01:27:23.000 41% have attempted suicide.

01:27:26.000 Imagine you were at a bar and 41% of the clientele had attempted suicide.

01:27:31.000 You'd go, I don't know what the fuck is going on with this place, but I think there's something wrong with the pipe.

01:27:38.000 If you're in Seattle, you're...

01:27:39.000 It's not a healthy environment.

01:27:40.000 It's not a good environment.

01:27:41.000 I'm not going there.

01:27:42.000 The odds are one and two, I kill myself if I go into this bar.

01:27:47.000 I'm not going into that bar.

01:27:49.000 Yeah.

01:27:49.000 It's almost 50-50.

01:27:51.000 That's not good.

01:27:53.000 Oh, no.

01:27:54.000 We've been served.

01:27:56.000 Is being transgender a mental illness?

01:27:57.000 No.

01:27:58.000 For years, though, gender identity disorders was listed as sexual dysfunction.

01:28:02.000 Unbelievable.

01:28:03.000 People used to think it was, but it's not.

01:28:06.000 Oh, really?

01:28:06.000 Why not?

01:28:07.000 Well, it was thought that.

01:28:09.000 Now, mental health professionals don't think it's a mental illness.

01:28:14.000 What did he say there?

01:28:15.000 What's the second part?

01:28:16.000 CFAC.

01:28:17.000 Dystopia.

01:28:18.000 Now, have a better understanding of the challenges.

01:28:23.000 Dysphoria.

01:28:23.000 The mental challenge.

01:28:25.000 Being a transgender person.

01:28:26.000 There's a social condition known as gender dysphoria. 0.98

01:28:29.000 They may.

01:28:30.000 It's not a mental illness, but people who have it suffer from mental illnesses.

01:28:36.000 Oh, okay.

01:28:38.000 That's great.

01:28:40.000 You're not sick if you want to fuck kids, but people who fuck kids are sick.

01:28:45.000 We have a racism bumper somebody sent in.

01:29:05.000 And he said you could fade it out kind of whenever.

01:29:07.000 Yeah, you got to fade that out very early.

01:29:08.000 But that's pretty fun.

01:29:09.000 Yeah, that's fun.

01:29:10.000 That was nice.

01:29:11.000 And that was from Long Hands.

01:29:13.000 Thanks, Longhands. 0.99

01:29:14.000 Thanks, Longhands. 0.99

01:29:15.000 That was great.

01:29:16.000 We will be using that in the future.

01:29:18.000 Final fight.

01:29:19.000 Final video fight.

01:29:22.000 Four minutes of utter entertainment, they say.

01:29:25.000 Fight porn.

01:29:26.000 I have not seen...

01:29:27.000 This is probably a good subreddit to fight.

01:29:30.000 I don't watch Fight Porn, but I should.

01:29:31.000 I'm going to make that a bookmark.

01:29:34.000 Fight porn.

01:29:43.000 You can tell.

01:29:44.000 Oh! 0.60

01:29:47.000 Stop looking away, dude.

01:29:51.000 He keeps looking dead.

01:29:52.000 Wait, what happened there?

01:29:53.000 He slept.

01:29:54.000 Oh.

01:29:55.000 The drunken master over here.

01:30:03.000 Whoa, hey, there we go.

01:30:05.000 See what happens when you open your eyes and you look at the guy?

01:30:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:09.000 Eye the target, buddy.

01:30:10.000 He heard you.

01:30:11.000 He's totally phased, too.

01:30:13.000 That's why he's walking away.

01:30:14.000 You got to recover.

01:30:15.000 Believe this bullshit.

01:30:17.000 This looks like where Billy Bragg started his career.

01:30:21.000 Is everybody like...

01:30:22.000 Is this like...

01:30:23.000 Why is the woman still in the mix after getting clocked? 1.00

01:30:26.000 I think that's a new woman. 0.99

01:30:27.000 No, I don't think it is.

01:30:29.000 Look, they're all getting their stances up.

01:30:32.000 I'm pretty sure the other woman's like over here hurting. 1.00

01:30:36.000 No.

01:30:42.000 It's like the girl standing in front of the bull.

01:30:45.000 See, I love white fights because you don't have to worry about anyone getting stabbed in the neck.

01:30:49.000 This is all good old-fashioned punches.

01:30:54.000 How fucking bad are you?

01:30:59.000 Good old-fashioned drunk fight.

01:31:01.000 Is this like four times gravity everybody's experiencing?

01:31:05.000 Why is everybody else?

01:31:06.000 Oh, that's a good move.

01:31:07.000 Oh, almost.

01:31:08.000 Why are you getting dragged?

01:31:11.000 He rocked them.

01:31:16.000 This is enjoyable.

01:31:20.000 They're probably best baits.

01:31:22.000 Okay, I need another.

01:31:24.000 To make this video worth it, we need a good ending.

01:31:28.000 We could fast forward a little a wee bit.

01:31:31.000 Oh, shirt's coming off.

01:31:35.000 I'm surprised the polis hasn't showed up.

01:31:38.000 They're bored.

01:31:39.000 Wait, is that a fucking police officer with the yellow vest?

01:31:42.000 I don't know.

01:31:42.000 It could be a security guard.

01:31:44.000 Could be anything.

01:31:45.000 Could be a traffic guy.

01:31:47.000 He keeps trying to throw him down these couple of stairs.

01:31:50.000 Yeah, that's not going to do much.

01:31:51.000 Oh, oh my god.

01:31:53.000 Did the glass smash?

01:31:54.000 Oh, oh.

01:31:57.000 That looks like a cop, dude.

01:31:59.000 What's a cop, dude?

01:32:03.000 Away from the shop.

01:32:04.000 He's five feet tall.

01:32:05.000 Probably security guard.

01:32:06.000 Wait, he's a security guard, and that's all he's concerned about.

01:32:09.000 Away from the shop.

01:32:10.000 Keep away from the shop.

01:32:10.000 That's my job.

01:32:11.000 Keep away from Marks and Sparks.

01:32:16.000 I hear you got your gear from Marks and Sparks.

01:32:24.000 Oh! 0.60

01:32:25.000 Such a great punch, and then he loses it.

01:32:28.000 By overthrowing.

01:32:31.000 A new guy enters the room.

01:32:33.000 Get out of here, black man. 1.00

01:32:35.000 We're watching a great fight.

01:32:37.000 Respect your elders with you.

01:32:38.000 Is a black bloke a Blake? 0.99

01:32:40.000 Yes.

01:32:41.000 Get out of here, Blake.

01:32:45.000 What are you on about?

01:32:46.000 Why are you mucking about?

01:32:48.000 Put your shirt on.

01:32:49.000 Calm down.

01:32:50.000 Meanwhile, the police are doing nothing.

01:32:52.000 Yeah.

01:32:52.000 And we got a Seek.

01:32:53.000 Ah.

01:32:54.000 Fuck.

01:32:58.000 This is getting interesting.

01:32:59.000 I watched that all night.

01:33:01.000 One black guy, a Seek, and two drunk white guys. 0.60

01:33:04.000 We got it.

01:33:04.000 They all walk into a bar.

01:33:07.000 They ruin a fight instantly.

01:33:11.000 Okay, lots of...

01:33:12.000 Let's go back.

01:33:13.000 Can we go back?

01:33:14.000 What's that?

01:33:15.000 Well, I felt like you skipped three.

01:33:17.000 No, no, no.

01:33:17.000 Those repeats.

01:33:19.000 Could you ask your wife if she'd be interested in a poly relationship? 0.99

01:33:22.000 It could be Ryan, me, you, and Maddie, all in one big loving quinche.

01:33:28.000 Yeah, I'm into that.

01:33:30.000 I don't know if Hubert's a male, I guess, right?

01:33:32.000 So it's me, Ryan, Maddie, and Hubert, and my wife.

01:33:38.000 So it's four dudes plugging my wife. 1.00

01:33:42.000 Sounds great.

01:33:43.000 Who would have a problem with that?

01:33:45.000 Polyamorous.

01:33:47.000 I guess that's one more than a thruple. 1.00

01:33:51.000 Maddie, did you see MS-13 got plugged in Bloody Beaumont this week?

01:33:57.000 Two died.

01:33:58.000 They slammed everyone down in all feds.

01:34:00.000 Also, what car did you run with?

01:34:03.000 81 or New York or both?

01:34:06.000 A lot of questions here, Maddie.

01:34:08.000 How do you...

01:34:10.000 He's asking what car that means.

01:34:11.000 Like, who'd you ride with in prison?

01:34:13.000 Like, who was your squad?

01:34:16.000 The place I did the most time, I was the only Hells Angel air at the time when I was in the club.

01:34:21.000 But I hung out with a bunch of mostly New York guys.

01:34:24.000 But like my core workout partner, he was from West Virginia.

01:34:28.000 He was country.

01:34:30.000 Zeldin.

01:34:31.000 I used to call him country because I couldn't understand a fucking answer.

01:34:34.000 What does 81 mean?

01:34:35.000 Well, that's 81 is like a nickname for the Hells Angels.

01:34:40.000 H is the eighth letter of the alphabet, and A is the first.

01:34:43.000 So you'll see like support church.

01:34:44.000 They say, support your local 81.

01:34:47.000 Oh, I see.

01:34:48.000 Yeah.

01:34:50.000 And what does that mean?

01:34:51.000 How do they both, how do they politic in feds?

01:34:58.000 Every time people ask you questions, it sounds like they're accusing you of stolen unvalor.

01:35:04.000 Well, you know, for the most part, what happens on the street stays in the streets, so there's like no beef really, unless it's personal within the places I were at.

01:35:14.000 Like there was an outlaw there, there was a pagan. 0.97

01:35:16.000 Wait, the places I rat?

01:35:18.000 So you would rat certain?

01:35:20.000 The places I was at.

01:35:21.000 Oh, okay.

01:35:22.000 Yeah.

01:35:24.000 Jake.

01:35:25.000 Just kidding.

01:35:27.000 That's a joke.

01:35:28.000 I went to trial and if I can go look that up.

01:35:30.000 Yes.

01:35:31.000 Ratty's not a ratty.

01:35:35.000 Yeah.

01:35:36.000 Yeah, they locked the whole country down for that yesterday, the other day.

01:35:42.000 This guy comments just this and sends in some of the things.

01:35:45.000 Yes, I'm familiar with him.

01:35:46.000 He's great.

01:35:47.000 Okay, S, five bucks.

01:35:49.000 Thanks.

01:35:49.000 Brian, you're a funny dude.

01:35:50.000 Why do you dress like a gay? 1.00

01:35:51.000 Great question.

01:35:52.000 I appreciate that question.

01:35:53.000 I'd love to know.

01:35:54.000 I don't agree.

01:35:55.000 Why does he wear Timberlands?

01:35:57.000 Hey, guys, you think the reason me nor my husband haven't had any variant of COVID is due to the fact that neither of us have ever had a flu shot?

01:36:04.000 Ooh.

01:36:06.000 Maybe.

01:36:07.000 You know how many people died from the flu shot every year?

01:36:10.000 Qui.

01:36:12.000 Like 10.

01:36:14.000 I've had a flu shot for like the last time.

01:36:16.000 Like spider bites, like snake bites.

01:36:18.000 Hundreds of thousands of flu shots.

01:36:21.000 Pretty much no deaths.

01:36:23.000 The vaccine?

01:36:24.000 Like 19,000.

01:36:26.000 Tens of thousands.

01:36:27.000 More people died from the flu shits.

01:36:29.000 Like 1,000 a month, basically, die from the flax.

01:36:32.000 I think it was like 19,000 total.

01:36:34.000 The vaccine.

01:36:36.000 So, yeah, the flu shot.

01:36:38.000 And I was never into the flu shot because as I learned from Robin Quivers, my number one news source on Howard Stern, it provides you three weeks of protection.

01:36:50.000 Okay.

01:36:53.000 What about if I around someone with the flu after 24 days?

01:36:57.000 I've gotten so many vaccines in my life.

01:37:00.000 Not even counting like all the measles, the mom's rubella and stuff when you're a kid, but I've gotten hepatitis vaccines.

01:37:06.000 I've gotten like pneumococcal pneumonia vaccines.

01:37:09.000 But you're in a unique situation because you have a heart problem.

01:37:14.000 So myocarditis is a risk.

01:37:17.000 But your team of doctors who are devoted to keeping you alive tell you to get the vaccine.

01:37:24.000 What about like a fourth booster?

01:37:26.000 Like, do you just do whatever they say?

01:37:28.000 Me personally, I've only gotten the first two.

01:37:30.000 I had Pfizer.

01:37:32.000 What if they called you and said, we want you to get a booster?

01:37:35.000 I tell them no at this point.

01:37:37.000 Oh, really?

01:37:37.000 Yeah.

01:37:38.000 Dude.

01:37:38.000 I don't feel I need it because I had both.

01:37:40.000 I had the original COVID.

01:37:42.000 And you had Omicron.

01:37:43.000 And I had Omicron.

01:37:45.000 Yeah, you're a do prisoners not have the option to not get vaccinated?

01:37:49.000 Who?

01:37:49.000 Because they belong.

01:37:50.000 Prisoners.

01:37:51.000 Do prisoners have to be mandatory vaccinated?

01:37:53.000 I don't think so.

01:37:54.000 Well, Mercedes would have to do that. 1.00

01:37:56.000 They would have to get a court order for them to be the BOP. 0.55

01:38:00.000 Oh, no, that's what the law says, but what really happens.

01:38:05.000 Right.

01:38:05.000 Like Mercedes tells me about them being used as human experiments.

01:38:11.000 Wow, fuck all that.

01:38:13.000 And it's in San Bernardino where it's all illegals. 1.00

01:38:18.000 There's no like...

01:38:18.000 California.

01:38:19.000 Yeah, there's no like rising up and telling the media what happened.

01:38:24.000 It's not like New York where there's people who care about you who will report.

01:38:29.000 No one gives a fuck what anyone's San Bernardino.

01:38:34.000 We got a caller on the line called Joe Kukamunga.

01:38:38.000 Caller 602.

01:38:39.000 You're on the line.

01:38:44.000 Maybe you got to say hey to a man.

01:38:46.000 Joe Rogan is here, by the way, if anyone wants to ask him any questions.

01:38:49.000 Yeah.

01:38:50.000 Yeah, you can ask me anything you want.

01:38:52.000 Pull that shit up, James.

01:38:54.000 Caller?

01:38:54.000 That's actually a pretty good one.

01:38:56.000 Thanks.

01:38:57.000 William Walter.

01:38:58.000 William Walter?

01:38:59.000 Is there Braveheart?

01:39:00.000 Abest the Testing Tube 8.

01:39:02.000 602.

01:39:03.000 Hello.

01:39:04.000 Hello.

01:39:04.000 What's going on, 602?

01:39:07.000 Yeah, I'm glad that you're going to be debating Destiny.

01:39:11.000 I don't...

01:39:12.000 I'm not glad.

01:39:13.000 I don't know why I have to talk to you.

01:39:15.000 Have you done any research on him?

01:39:17.000 Do you know him at all?

01:39:18.000 Nope.

01:39:18.000 No idea who he is.

01:39:20.000 I know he's a child.

01:39:21.000 Do you want any fun facts on him to use an adjustment?

01:39:25.000 Sure, let's get some gossip.

01:39:26.000 Yeah, give me one second.

01:39:28.000 I'm going to reach out to you.

01:39:28.000 Why is the speaker fucking up?

01:39:30.000 It's embarrassing.

01:39:31.000 I'm thinking, I'm going to close Skype.

01:39:33.000 I think maybe because we're pulling from two audio sources.

01:39:36.000 So let me try to drop one out.

01:39:40.000 Okay, connected as the host.

01:39:40.000 Good, good, good.

01:39:41.000 Yes, it's just yesterday.

01:39:42.000 You are now in the host.

01:39:43.000 Okay, sounds good.

01:39:44.000 All right, thank you.

01:39:45.000 All right, thank you very much.

01:39:46.000 All right, fantastic.

01:39:47.000 Thank you.

01:39:48.000 Okay.

01:39:50.000 You still there, Caller?

01:39:52.000 Yeah, I'm still here.

01:39:53.000 Fuck.

01:39:54.000 Do you hear your audio sounding like shit?

01:39:58.000 Like I do?

01:39:59.000 So I hear you the best, barely hear Maddie, don't hear Ryan at all?

01:40:04.000 Well, the good news is that Ryan doesn't come in here when he doesn't have to, and he doesn't fix problems like this.

01:40:09.000 So we learn about these problems live on the air.

01:40:13.000 Okay, let me get through this list before we lose it.

01:40:19.000 Go ahead.

01:40:21.000 So basically, he doesn't know anything about you.

01:40:24.000 His chat knows nothing about the Proud Boys or the origin.

01:40:28.000 Even though anytime they're brought up, they're considered the worst thing ever.

01:40:34.000 He will always be playing a video game when he's debating you.

01:40:38.000 That's rude.

01:40:40.000 He's in an open relationship.

01:40:42.000 He doesn't believe in the replacement theory, but he went all the way to Sweden to get his wife.

01:40:48.000 Wait, what's the replacement theory meaning what is exactly the replacement theory?

01:40:54.000 Well, no, just he laughs at the concept of like, you know, any Western country being forced immigration.

01:41:01.000 Right, okay.

01:41:03.000 It's not something I really care about, but it's just something he laughs at, but then he goes to the whitest country and then gets a blonde wife. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Right.

01:41:12.000 Okay, so he was one of the first ones to really pioneer politics on Twitch.

01:41:16.000 He created Vosh. 0.87

01:41:18.000 He got Hassan Piker kind of his start.

01:41:22.000 Even though Piker was with the Young Turts, Destiny got him going on Twitch. 0.88

01:41:31.000 He's from Omaha.

01:41:33.000 He spent a ton of money trying to get this guy to win the Last Mer race, but they actually use his opponents used Destiny as kind of like a pariah and kind of sunk that race for him.

01:41:47.000 And he gave Biden an A- for his first year in office.

01:41:53.000 All right.

01:41:53.000 Thank you for the tips, and thank you for calling.

01:41:56.000 All right, bro.

01:41:56.000 Appreciate it.

01:41:57.000 Ryan, what the fuck is going on with this shit?

01:41:59.000 I'm clicking a bunch of things.

01:42:02.000 Okay.

01:42:04.000 I got my brother literally dying of hypothermia in Ottawa.

01:42:10.000 And all we hear is it's not cool.

01:42:17.000 I'm sorry.

01:42:17.000 Got a new driver this week.

01:42:18.000 Can you rate my swing?

01:42:20.000 Okay.

01:42:22.000 Well, here's the key to swinging a golf club.

01:42:26.000 If you look cool, you're doing it wrong.

01:42:30.000 It looks cool to bend your arms and go whack and then wig back. 0.64

01:42:35.000 If you look like a retarded, awkward robot, then you're doing a good swing. 1.00

01:42:40.000 If your left arm is perfectly straight and you're not spinning around like a cool guy, then you're doing a good swing.

01:42:50.000 The uncooler your swing is, the better it is.

01:42:55.000 So let's watch his left arm.

01:42:58.000 Ooh, wow.

01:42:58.000 That was fucking fast.

01:43:00.000 He crushed it.

01:43:01.000 That looks like it's going 300 yards.

01:43:04.000 My grandfather's swing looks...

01:43:06.000 You ever see the swings?

01:43:07.000 Wait, I want to see that again.

01:43:08.000 Yeah, so do I. That was nice.

01:43:13.000 And I guess he got all the momentum from his wrist.

01:43:17.000 From the hips.

01:43:18.000 Let's go nice and slow.

01:43:25.000 Okay, do it in slow motion.

01:43:27.000 Do it frame by frame.

01:43:28.000 Okay.

01:43:30.000 Can you do that?

01:43:31.000 Oh, yes.

01:43:32.000 Play pots, play pots, play pots.

01:43:34.000 You press the period button.

01:43:37.000 The period button?

01:43:38.000 So let's bring it back.

01:43:40.000 That's a Jamaican's worst nightmare. 1.00

01:43:42.000 I don't press that.

01:43:44.000 Wow.

01:43:44.000 So look at that.

01:43:45.000 Left arm rice and straight.

01:43:47.000 He gets all his momentum from the bending of the wrist.

01:43:52.000 He's getting his hips in there. 0.60

01:43:54.000 Breaks the wrist.

01:43:55.000 This is where the power starts.

01:43:57.000 Fucking whack.

01:43:59.000 And it just vanishes.

01:44:01.000 Straight now.

01:44:02.000 I think that's 300 yards.

01:44:03.000 I think that is out of the park.

01:44:06.000 That is beautiful, dude.

01:44:08.000 I want to suck your dick. 1.00

01:44:09.000 Yeah, me too.

01:44:11.000 Maddie and Ryan and I want to.

01:44:14.000 Is there such a thing as a triple blowjum?

01:44:17.000 Maddie could have your ball. 1.00

01:44:18.000 I'll film.

01:44:19.000 No, no, no.

01:44:21.000 No.

01:44:22.000 Why would you just film?

01:44:23.000 Suck a dick. 1.00

01:44:24.000 Come on, man.

01:44:25.000 So it just stuck with Ryan and I. Maddie's filming.

01:44:29.000 Ryan, you put his balls in your mouth, and I'm just going to fucking and I'll do this too. 1.00

01:44:34.000 I'll do like the wide.

01:44:38.000 Like the wide.

01:44:39.000 Do you ever have a chick barf on your dick and you're like, no.

01:44:42.000 I wasn't really, I don't mean literally barf, but like, oh.

01:44:46.000 Yeah.

01:44:46.000 But you're like, but I wasn't really going deep when you did the.

01:44:51.000 Is it possible you're barfing at sucking my dick?

01:44:54.000 Like my pube stank or something?

01:44:56.000 Because I understand like I hit your gag reflex, but the time when you went, I wasn't near your gag reflex.

01:45:05.000 Is it possible I'm grossing you out?

01:45:07.000 But you can't say that.

01:45:08.000 You can't be like, was that because you gagged or because my dick's gross?

01:45:13.000 Because I didn't clean it.

01:45:14.000 Because I'm pretty sure I cleaned it before we got here.

01:45:17.000 We got fucking this thing on the screen.

01:45:20.000 G-Dog Maddie and Fag Lord. 1.00

01:45:22.000 I need your advice.

01:45:23.000 I'm a 29.

01:45:24.000 I am 29 and am over being a literal faggot. 0.99

01:45:28.000 I want to find a wife, start a family, raise kids, basically be a good Western man.

01:45:32.000 I owe this becoming aware of the sad, self-indulgent life of queers, returning to the Catholic faith. 1.00

01:45:39.000 All right.

01:45:40.000 Very simple, Danny.

01:45:41.000 Get out there.

01:45:42.000 Get out.

01:45:43.000 Start playing the field.

01:45:44.000 Get out of your house.

01:45:46.000 Maybe the secret is get a studio apartment where it's just a bed and a TV.

01:45:51.000 And you're like, I don't want to be in here.

01:45:53.000 Like, eat out.

01:45:54.000 I don't mean pussy, but yeah, eat that out too. 1.00

01:45:57.000 But like, eat out, go to bars, go to clubs.

01:46:00.000 If you're not a drinker, I don't know.

01:46:02.000 Have some fucking hobby club train thing, whatever, political activism, whatever.

01:46:07.000 Get out of the house.

01:46:09.000 Don't beat off.

01:46:11.000 Put it in the porn.

01:46:13.000 Another key, stay away from porn. 0.83

01:46:16.000 Get out there.

01:46:17.000 Experience life.

01:46:19.000 Play the field.

01:46:19.000 You got to play the numbers.

01:46:21.000 Yeah, you got to get out there.

01:46:22.000 And here's another thing.

01:46:24.000 Don't be like, I got to get some fucking pussy. 1.00

01:46:27.000 Just be like, I'm going to socialize.

01:46:30.000 Say you're socializing with a bunch of dudes.

01:46:33.000 There's going to be chicks in there. 1.00

01:46:35.000 No matter how dude-oriented the thing is, say it's like car racing at night.

01:46:40.000 There's going to be chicks involved in that. 1.00

01:46:43.000 No matter how male your thing is, like buying and selling transmissions, you're still going to end up with chicks somewhere down the line. 1.00

01:46:50.000 So like, get out of your fucking house.

01:46:54.000 Stop playing video games.

01:46:55.000 Would you interview Mark Ripito?

01:46:57.000 He's a popular strength coach who knows how you can beef up your Grover arms.

01:47:03.000 These aren't...

01:47:03.000 These are no longer Grovers.

01:47:05.000 They look good.

01:47:06.000 Those are Grover's shoulders.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:47:10.000 Just when he's starting to feel good.

01:47:11.000 Yeah, just when he's.

01:47:12.000 He's not Grover's shoulders.

01:47:13.000 This is the biggest it's been since I've had this show.

01:47:19.000 He's also a fan of Proud Boys.

01:47:21.000 Check out his YouTube channel.

01:47:24.000 He looks like a Proud Boy, doesn't he?

01:47:25.000 He looks pissed.

01:47:27.000 How tall are you?

01:47:28.000 How tall are you, you piece of shit?

01:47:30.000 You fucking bitch. 1.00

01:47:31.000 58220.

01:47:32.000 5x220?

01:47:33.000 Fuck you.

01:47:34.000 He's got an accent or no?

01:47:35.000 You sound like a shit I took.

01:47:37.000 And you think it's too heavy?

01:47:38.000 You're a fucking bitch. 1.00

01:47:40.000 You know what?

01:47:40.000 You can sick people like you.

01:47:42.000 This guy's awesome already.

01:47:43.000 He's got like a North Carolina, not Southern, but Southern thing.

01:47:47.000 Yeah, he's like the Dave Ramsey for muscles.

01:47:49.000 So what you're going to want to do, stop being a fucking bitch. 1.00

01:47:52.000 Fuck you.

01:47:53.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 I feel like he's always about to hang up on the caller.

01:47:56.000 We've only watched him for three seconds.

01:47:58.000 Hey, big fan.

01:47:59.000 You have all these opinions on him.

01:48:01.000 Mark, we're a big fan.

01:48:02.000 Here's another thing.

01:48:03.000 You're a fucking fag. 1.00

01:48:06.000 He leaves the show pretty much.

01:48:07.000 You like monkeys?

01:48:08.000 Because if you don't, you can go fuck yourself.

01:48:09.000 That knife.

01:48:11.000 You got a monkey with a knife holding a chicken.

01:48:13.000 My monkey would slit your throat and stuff a chicken up your ass, you pussy. 1.00

01:48:17.000 You see this?

01:48:18.000 That's me, the monkey with the knife.

01:48:20.000 You, you're the fucking bitch-ass hand. 1.00

01:48:23.000 Next caller.

01:48:25.000 Just pissed.

01:48:26.000 You have any idea?

01:48:27.000 That's what I measured.

01:48:28.000 Hey, don't judge me.

01:48:29.000 That's him.

01:48:29.000 He said that.

01:48:30.000 23?

01:48:31.000 That's a gay age. 1.00

01:48:33.000 I can live with 23, but I'm 65.

01:48:39.000 So you're going to IF.

01:48:41.000 28-year-old.

01:48:42.000 All right, I got a question.

01:48:43.000 When does IF become just not eating breakfast?

01:48:50.000 Anybody know the answer?

01:48:52.000 Good question.

01:48:54.000 I just eat a big dinner pretty much.

01:48:56.000 Yeah.

01:48:56.000 Yeah, you're just not eating breakfast.

01:48:58.000 You do an IF too, Rip.

01:49:00.000 Don't you?

01:49:01.000 Yeah.

01:49:01.000 Usually.

01:49:02.000 What's IF?

01:49:03.000 Intermittent fasting.

01:49:04.000 No, he's right, though, because, I mean, if you have your meal late at night and then you just fucking don't eat breakfast, that's just don't eating breakfast.

01:49:11.000 But you have to give yourself a couple hours before you go to bed to do the intermittent fasting.

01:49:16.000 Larry Barnes says that.

01:49:17.000 It's tough.

01:49:18.000 It's really tough.

01:49:19.000 Larry Barnes doesn't want you eating anything close to bedtime.

01:49:22.000 Like 6 p.m., final meal.

01:49:24.000 Well, the thing is, if you understand what breakfast, the word is derived from, it's break fast.

01:49:30.000 Yes.

01:49:31.000 So if you wake up at noon, so say you woke up at noon and you ate your first meal at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and you ate your last meal at like 3 o'clock in the morning, you're fine.

01:49:42.000 Because you still have that window from 3 in the morning to whenever you're going to start eating at 4 o'clock the next day.

01:49:48.000 It's like you have an 8-hour window, so that means you have a 16-hour fast.

01:49:54.000 There you go, bud.

01:49:58.000 I don't recommend the intermittent.

01:50:00.000 Not for...

01:50:01.000 I don't know.

01:50:03.000 I'm torn.

01:50:05.000 Rip torn.

01:50:06.000 You got that sexy.

01:50:10.000 Wow, that bruise on your ribs is really good.

01:50:11.000 Is that from the...

01:50:12.000 Am I still bruised on my ribs?

01:50:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:50:14.000 Can I poke it?

01:50:15.000 Oh, that one there?

01:50:16.000 Yeah.

01:50:18.000 Is that from the one you got from that thing?

01:50:20.000 I don't know what the fuck that's from.

01:50:22.000 Dude.

01:50:23.000 It might be bladder cancer.

01:50:25.000 Yeah, it might be tenelliitis.

01:50:28.000 Where you make shit up and then it exists.

01:50:31.000 Couldn't be good.

01:50:33.000 Probably a, you know, were you dancing this week?

01:50:37.000 Were you moving?

01:50:38.000 Nope.

01:50:39.000 No?

01:50:39.000 No sparring?

01:50:42.000 I haven't sparred since December when I got my ribs crunched.

01:50:45.000 Yeah.

01:50:47.000 Tarzan 1000.

01:50:50.000 Yeah, what is that?

01:50:51.000 Is that bad?

01:50:52.000 Folks at home, can you diagnose this, please? 0.97

01:50:54.000 It looks like a bruise.

01:50:55.000 Well, we have a doctor, but we...

01:50:58.000 Just go see Joe.

01:50:59.000 He can diagnose you.

01:51:01.000 Yo.

01:51:02.000 Seriously?

01:51:03.000 Next thing you know, it'll be a PA.

01:51:05.000 So this is what they said in ER.

01:51:07.000 They said that I had to have my kidneys replaced because there's so much blood coming out of them.

01:51:11.000 I don't know what's...

01:51:13.000 Like, he pretends to be a nurse, and his understanding of serious cancer is...

01:51:18.000 Me and Ranger Tommy asked him one day, was like, what's a pneumothorax?

01:51:21.000 And he was like, I had no idea what it was.

01:51:24.000 It's a sucking chest wound.

01:51:26.000 It's like, stop.

01:51:27.000 Stop.

01:51:28.000 You didn't even know what that is.

01:51:30.000 He doesn't know what anything is in the world.

01:51:35.000 And the irony is, he's a compulsive liar, but he's remarkably sensitive about anyone asking him anything about any of his lies.

01:51:44.000 Yeah, because he doesn't want to be exposed.

01:51:46.000 Oh, sir.

01:51:47.000 You know what?

01:51:48.000 Can anyone just mind their own fucking business?

01:51:50.000 I'm going to take you outside.

01:51:51.000 Back off.

01:51:52.000 Just fucking back off.

01:51:53.000 I swear to God, next person that questions me about my fucking disease is going outside right now.

01:52:00.000 And Jose's like, I'll go outside with you.

01:52:03.000 So Jose goes outside, who's like five feet tall.

01:52:07.000 And he goes, so you want to do this?

01:52:08.000 You want to do something?

01:52:09.000 You want to fuck me up?

01:52:10.000 And Joe's like, I don't want to fight you.

01:52:13.000 You're my friend.

01:52:15.000 And then shakes his hand.

01:52:17.000 What does that one say?

01:52:19.000 What's up?

01:52:19.000 What's up, Billy Oaksaka?

01:52:22.000 Tarzan 1000% clapped gorilla cheeks. 0.60

01:52:26.000 Would you rather eat pizziki or donuts?

01:52:29.000 Saki.

01:52:29.000 I don't know what that is.

01:52:31.000 Jensaki.

01:52:33.000 Jensaki?

01:52:34.000 I think that's what he's trying to write.

01:52:36.000 Yeah.

01:52:36.000 I'd love to eat her up.

01:52:38.000 She's a fiery ginger. 1.00

01:52:40.000 Oh, my God.

01:52:41.000 Her pussy probably tastes like water. 1.00

01:52:43.000 She grosses me out. 0.91

01:52:45.000 Ryan, you drink a bath water.

01:52:46.000 What are you talking about?

01:52:47.000 If you don't want to Jensaki, then you're a fucking ghoul. 1.00

01:52:49.000 Otis Simbo.

01:52:50.000 She's a ghoul. 1.00

01:52:51.000 Yeah, of course you do.

01:52:52.000 She's a moron. 0.68

01:52:53.000 I'd love to.

01:52:53.000 I'd love to lick her pussy.

01:52:55.000 She's almost as big as a liar as Joe.

01:52:58.000 Yeah.

01:52:58.000 I might even want to eat Nancy Pelosi's pussy.

01:53:01.000 Whoa.

01:53:02.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

01:53:04.000 Before or after you picked the scabs off.

01:53:06.000 Ooh.

01:53:06.000 I would like to fuck her.

01:53:08.000 Oh.

01:53:08.000 No, maybe not.

01:53:09.000 Okay.

01:53:10.000 But I'm at the border of that.

01:53:13.000 Let's build a wall.

01:53:20.000 I was staying at a hotel while my apartment complex was being fumigated.

01:53:24.000 That's nice.

01:53:25.000 Ordered up this knockout escort one night. 1.00

01:53:28.000 The next day, she's texting me and sending me pictures, talking about her life and whatnot.

01:53:32.000 Seen her three times since, and she's still texting slash calling.

01:53:36.000 I have had escorts before, but.

01:53:41.000 Does that keep going, Ryan?

01:53:42.000 No.

01:53:44.000 Hold on a second.

01:53:45.000 But the...

01:53:48.000 By James.

01:53:49.000 Let's see.

01:53:51.000 I'll have to find that.

01:53:52.000 This could be the one, dude.

01:53:55.000 Ryan needs a skit show and censored.

01:53:58.000 Sketches are too expensive.

01:54:00.000 They're 20 grand.

01:54:02.000 And they take three days.

01:54:04.000 That was kind of my content.

01:54:05.000 Five minutes of content.

01:54:06.000 I was like, if I want to.

01:54:07.000 I did it for a while.

01:54:08.000 And you've all seen them.

01:54:10.000 I actually, you know, we've been cleaning out my house and the studio, and I have all of these hard drives with all of these sketches.

01:54:17.000 I'm just going to, I can put them up uncensored.

01:54:20.000 And then we have the Gavin McKinnis show.

01:54:22.000 I think I should get that up next week.

01:54:24.000 Oh, from CR-TV?

01:54:27.000 No, we got CR-TV from Compound.

01:54:30.000 Oh, that's right.

01:54:31.000 You mentioned it yesterday.

01:54:32.000 Yeah, the original one.

01:54:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:54:33.000 It's going to be a lot of fucking shit going down.

01:54:37.000 That fucking sounded wet there, bud.

01:54:39.000 I want to check your skibbies.

01:54:42.000 Check your skivvies.

01:54:44.000 But this has never happened.

01:54:46.000 Not sure how to read this situation.

01:54:48.000 Are you still paying her?

01:54:49.000 I know this sounds very unromantic and un-Christian and on everything, but she might be the one, dude. 1.00

01:54:58.000 I mean, it worked in Pretty Woman with Richard Gere.

01:55:02.000 Like, fucking.

01:55:03.000 You could be her night and shiny. 0.99

01:55:04.000 You don't have to tell anyone how you met her.

01:55:08.000 As long as she's not charging you every time.

01:55:10.000 Maybe one risk is like you tipped great, like 50 bucks out of, I don't know how much horse costs, 200 bucks, I guess.

01:55:18.000 If you tip 50 bucks and she keeps calling you, she's probably a heroin addict or something else and she wants more money. 0.90

01:55:25.000 But if she's calling you and you're not a huge tipper, this could be it.

01:55:31.000 You know, it's like it's noble.

01:55:32.000 It's like getting a rescue.

01:55:33.000 She's hanging every time now.

01:55:34.000 It's like getting a rescue dog.

01:55:36.000 It's like we respect that you did that.

01:55:38.000 I mean, you pay for it either way.

01:55:40.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:55:41.000 Right.

01:55:42.000 You don't have to spend the time, which is really...

01:55:44.000 Frankly, it's what do we look into?

01:55:48.000 Okay, we're out of time soon.

01:55:50.000 We're burning through these.

01:55:51.000 Gavin, is it bummy to smoke weed in your 20s?

01:55:53.000 Yes.

01:55:54.000 By the way, got a wife at 25.

01:55:56.000 Nice.

01:55:56.000 That's awesome.

01:55:57.000 I mean, I think smoking weed is great for horror movies and sex and, you know, that show somebody somewhere.

01:56:06.000 But I don't think it's healthy to smoke pot.

01:56:08.000 It's like jerking off.

01:56:10.000 It's a vice.

01:56:12.000 But I do gummies all the time.

01:56:16.000 Ryan, my first child's name is Daphne.

01:56:18.000 Middle name Ryan.

01:56:19.000 Great names.

01:56:20.000 Gavin, push your hemoid back into your anus.

01:56:24.000 That's not possible.

01:56:26.000 That's like push your shoe up into your ankle.

01:56:29.000 Like, it's not like it's near my anal lips where it's a matter of just popping it around.

01:56:35.000 It's like here.

01:56:37.000 Like, there's nowhere to push it to.

01:56:40.000 Pushing it into my asshole would be like pushing my dick into my asshole. 1.00

01:56:44.000 Well, I thought hemorrhoids come out of your ass. 0.81

01:56:47.000 They do, but this is like the horse has left the station.

01:56:52.000 The train has left the station.

01:56:54.000 There's no turning back.

01:56:58.000 It does not look like that.

01:57:00.000 it looks like the one on the bottom.

01:57:01.000 You see the one on the bottom that's behind the line?

01:57:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:57:05.000 That's like, what do you want me to do with that?

01:57:07.000 The external one, they remove it, I guess, right?

01:57:11.000 Does it go away?

01:57:13.000 I mean, I've had them before.

01:57:14.000 You got twenty VIX on it.

01:57:15.000 It doesn't hurt, is the big picture.

01:57:17.000 Put the VIX on it.

01:57:18.000 So it's just like black inventions every day. 0.99

01:57:23.000 Wiping peanut butter off a light bulb.

01:57:25.000 I would try the VIX.

01:57:26.000 Wait, so that's a twin mom with the hemorrhoid experience. 0.82

01:57:29.000 Interesting.

01:57:30.000 Well, pregnant ladies getting hemorrhoids. 1.00

01:57:32.000 Oh, right, right, right, right.

01:57:33.000 Great, really, true mom here.

01:57:34.000 It's all fun and games to little teenage girls.

01:57:36.000 Yikes.

01:57:36.000 Yeah, I'm not even thinking about that yet.

01:57:38.000 Wait, wait, wait.

01:57:38.000 Go back.

01:57:39.000 We didn't finish the previous one.

01:57:40.000 That was the one.

01:57:41.000 Oh, it might have been a twin mom.

01:57:42.000 Did you ever hang out with a wait? 1.00

01:57:44.000 Not sure if my original edition got read on air.

01:57:47.000 Maddie, did you ever hang out with any HA in the main chapter?

01:57:52.000 A couple.

01:57:54.000 Ever heard of Jamie Stedman?

01:57:57.000 Jamie Steadman?

01:57:59.000 Not off the top of my...

01:58:00.000 Oh, my...

01:58:00.000 I did his daughter in high school when he tried to get me to become a prospector.

01:58:03.000 I almost did it, but the guy was a fucky.

01:58:06.000 I think they have more than one charter up in Maine now.

01:58:09.000 They used to have just like Gainan.

01:58:11.000 But I used to hang out with a guy named Chris, and I used to hang out with a guy who was up in Maine, then transferred down to Boston.

01:58:22.000 His name was Derek.

01:58:25.000 How do you feel about Maine and New York?

01:58:27.000 Maine?

01:58:28.000 I've gone to Maine.

01:58:28.000 I go to Maine quite often.

01:58:30.000 I like it.

01:58:32.000 Vermont, Rhode Island.

01:58:35.000 I like that the liberals there have American flags on their yards.

01:58:39.000 So they're all Bernie guys for some bizarre reason, but they are quite rude.

01:58:44.000 They're kind of mean.

01:58:46.000 Snobby mean?

01:58:48.000 Not snobby.

01:58:49.000 Like, what are you doing in my area shit?

01:58:51.000 Just grumps.

01:58:52.000 I don't know.

01:58:54.000 I have a great time when I go to Maine.

01:58:55.000 I loved Maine when I went.

01:58:56.000 I almost died there, but that was a separate story.

01:58:58.000 What do you mean you almost died?

01:59:00.000 We scaled the precipice at Mount Arcadia.

01:59:05.000 Why don't you end the show with that story?

01:59:07.000 Oh, because it sucks, and I suck at telling stories.

01:59:10.000 Good.

01:59:11.000 But no, we did this already.

01:59:12.000 Remember, I called my friend Hodge because he thought I was lying?

01:59:15.000 We'll just show it.

01:59:17.000 We got a couple more of these, but sure.

01:59:20.000 Oh, quick.

01:59:21.000 Guys, I'm a 20-year-old dude wanting advice on navigating the current dating scene.

01:59:25.000 At least 70% of females might rather retard extreme, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:59:29.000 Watch TikTok.

01:59:30.000 I'm just a blue car.

01:59:31.000 But I get a lot of these kind of messages, and I'm like, I know it sucks, and everyone's woke, but you guys have internet dating and the internet.

01:59:40.000 I didn't have that.

01:59:41.000 Yeah.

01:59:42.000 Like, the reason my wife let me eat her out is because I ate out her friend Jen, who worked at Fat Records in San Francisco. 1.00

01:59:52.000 Jen D'Angelo, I believe her name was.

01:59:55.000 And I left a business card in her pussy, basically. 1.00

01:59:59.000 And she knew me from Vice because I created Vice. 0.95

02:00:02.000 Like, I didn't, Vice didn't help me get pussy. 0.99

02:00:05.000 I made Vice.

02:00:07.000 So my point is, like, make a thing, make a project, make a phenomenon.

02:00:14.000 I don't care if it's your own plumbing company. 0.97

02:00:17.000 And then, you know, you're getting out there.

02:00:18.000 You're doing stuff.

02:00:19.000 You're leaving messages.

02:00:21.000 This whole idea, like, everyone sucks.

02:00:23.000 Yeah, I bet it is hard.

02:00:25.000 But I don't think it was as hard as when we were young.

02:00:29.000 Like, when I got laid in the 80s, I just had to like go up to someone and go, hi.

02:00:37.000 Yeah.

02:00:38.000 My name's Gavin.

02:00:40.000 I remember my son asked me one day.

02:00:42.000 He had probably, he was probably 15 or 16.

02:00:44.000 He's like, dad, how'd you meet girls?

02:00:47.000 What?

02:00:47.000 It was a bitch.

02:00:48.000 I go, what do you mean?

02:00:49.000 I said, he goes, what?

02:00:50.000 You just went up and started talking to him?

02:00:53.000 I'm like, yeah.

02:00:54.000 Yeah.

02:00:55.000 I said, either you met through social circles and acquaintances, or you just saw a girl.

02:00:59.000 Sort of married Aaron.

02:01:02.000 Yeah, that was the best basic.

02:01:03.000 Best case scenario is conscious.

02:01:05.000 Worst case scenario is cold calls.

02:01:07.000 One thing we would do is lie.

02:01:11.000 We'd be like, there was a, I've told this story 100 times, but I'd be like, there was a fucking guy outside.

02:01:18.000 So you're at the bar and there's a girl next to you and you're like, fuck.

02:01:24.000 She's like, what's going on?

02:01:25.000 And you go, there's a guy out there in a wheelchair, like a rascal naked with an American flag on the back of his rascal. 0.81

02:01:35.000 And he said, it's all about me, mother.

02:01:37.000 He's a white guy, but he sounded black.

02:01:39.000 He's like, it's all about me, motherfuckers.

02:01:41.000 And he's urinating, like on his legs and on the road.

02:01:45.000 And he crashed into a car that was parked.

02:01:49.000 And she's like, what?

02:01:51.000 And then you go, then you just run with it.

02:01:53.000 Like, yeah, he hit his head on the trunk of the car.

02:01:57.000 I mean, I went to help him, but he was fine.

02:01:59.000 He's like, get the fuck away from me, motherfucker, you bitch. 1.00

02:02:04.000 And then if she's interested, be like, he had a swastika tattoo.

02:02:10.000 She's like, what?

02:02:12.000 You go, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

02:02:18.000 And now we're talking, and the secret to getting laid goes talking, laughing, fucking. 0.80

02:02:26.000 So we just started the first part, TLF.

02:02:29.000 Now I just got to make you laugh, and then we're going to be fucking. 0.99

02:02:33.000 If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

02:02:37.000 That's what my dad always said.

02:02:39.000 I guess he knew that I wasn't as smart as him, but from when I was like 10 years old, my dad would always say, bullshit, bullshit beats brains, my boy.

02:02:49.000 Bullshit beats brains.

02:02:53.000 You said you would prefer retarded, irresponsible. 1.00

02:02:56.000 Oh, we're already getting like second marriage.

02:02:58.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:00.000 Being too scared to have kids.

02:03:02.000 I would have to disagree because I think these types of births are the leading cause of fatherless childhoods, which I think is...

02:03:08.000 But at least, I know this sounds crazy, but at least the fatherless childhoods, at least they're existing.

02:03:15.000 Like, you're not in that middle child.

02:03:17.000 If you don't have kids.

02:03:19.000 If you have a kid and you fuck up, say you rape someone.

02:03:23.000 Oh, geez.

02:03:24.000 They have a baby.

02:03:25.000 They don't have an abortion, right? 1.00

02:03:27.000 That's the worst case scenario.

02:03:30.000 That person exists.

02:03:33.000 You made a human.

02:03:35.000 So, even in that unexplicably horrific scenario that belongs in hell, at least there's a person at the end of the day.

02:03:44.000 And most of you people who don't have kids can never create anything as great as a rape victim's child.

02:03:54.000 I know that sounds horrific, and I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's true.

02:03:59.000 It's a bit extreme.

02:04:01.000 Even if you're an oncologist who saved lives, I'm not sure you're helping society as much as the rape victim who had the baby.

02:04:12.000 I'm kind of proud of that outlandish statement.

02:04:15.000 The hot take.

02:04:16.000 Hot take. 0.79

02:04:17.000 Max and John have a job anytime in central Ohio.

02:04:21.000 Just come swing a hammer doing home renovations for us.

02:04:25.000 Orion is also welcome, but we can only pay half for Asians. 1.00

02:04:29.000 Hey.

02:04:29.000 Well, I'm half Asian, so you pay me half as half.

02:04:32.000 No, no, no.

02:04:35.000 Let's see, they're not.

02:04:36.000 Three-fourths.

02:04:37.000 Despite popular belief, they're not great at math.

02:04:40.000 All right, that's it for the show, folks.

02:04:42.000 I'll be reading the things after the show with the music.

02:04:46.000 It'll be an after-show where I just blast these out.

02:04:48.000 How many are there?

02:04:49.000 About 15.

02:04:52.000 Okay, I'll read them.

02:04:53.000 Yes.

02:04:54.000 I'm fighting for y'alls.

02:04:57.000 If it's for the boys.

02:04:59.000 Yeah.

02:05:00.000 Gavin, would you say you really started falling in love with America, being an American?

02:05:04.000 Was it the experience of living in New York during that?

02:05:06.000 Yes, it was 9-11.

02:05:09.000 What made me political and patriotic was one page of Pat Buchanan's book.

02:05:15.000 I think it's page 64 of The Death of the West, where he says, the behavior we had was, our treatment of the Indians was not what one would expect for whom the Sermon on the Mount was divine command.

02:05:35.000 We did participate in slavery.

02:05:37.000 However, amongst history's many villains, we are one of the few heroes.

02:05:43.000 For the West did not invent slavery, but the West alone abolished slavery.

02:05:49.000 And this was right when the planes were hitting the towers.

02:05:52.000 I think I read Death of the West first, but it was within weeks of 9-11.

02:05:57.000 And then I was like, yeah, I'm done apologizing.

02:06:00.000 We're the best.

02:06:04.000 Proud of your boy.

02:06:04.000 San Francisco, like New York, has one of the shittiest DAs.

02:06:07.000 Cheesa Bowden, don't get me started on old Cheesa. 0.54

02:06:11.000 Chessa. 0.94

02:06:12.000 He is literally a product of the Weather Underground.

02:06:16.000 Raised by the Weather Underground.

02:06:19.000 His father and mother went to jail for terrorism, and they gave the baby to another Weather Underground member who raised him.

02:06:28.000 He is a red yarn fucking.

02:06:30.000 I'm going to build it on that wall.

02:06:33.000 The SFPD just pulled out of an agreement with Chief.

02:06:36.000 How do you say his stupid name?

02:06:38.000 Chessa? 0.94

02:06:38.000 Chessa's piece of shit office. 0.94

02:06:40.000 If Jesse Lee Peterson was DF San Francisco, how would he fix crime?

02:06:44.000 Thanks, ladies. 1.00

02:06:45.000 The way to fix crime in any big city is what Giuliani did.

02:06:48.000 You just allow stop and frisk.

02:06:51.000 And I'm sure Maddie is a criminal agrees with me.

02:06:55.000 Former criminal.

02:06:56.000 Well, I don't know.

02:06:57.000 I wasn't a fan of stop and frisk, but I get it.

02:07:00.000 Not a fan because it was effective.

02:07:03.000 I didn't like being stopped and frisked.

02:07:06.000 But it worked.

02:07:08.000 Yeah, it was effective.

02:07:10.000 I mean, New York City in 2000, early aughts was fucking Disneyland.

02:07:18.000 You could walk around Times Square naked with $100 bills taped to your body and nothing would happen to you.

02:07:25.000 Now, Luby, who does Anthony Coomi's show, she told me she's documented, she has started a diary of Every Time I Feel Unsafe, and she has four this week.

02:07:36.000 Jesus.

02:07:36.000 And we're Thursday.

02:07:38.000 We had the crazy high murder rates, though, back in the 90s.

02:07:42.000 Yeah.

02:07:42.000 Like 2,600.

02:07:45.000 Yeah.

02:07:46.000 Last year there was 435 in New York.

02:07:48.000 Right.

02:07:48.000 That's an important detail that people neglect.

02:07:51.000 I always say, oh, we're back to the 80s.

02:07:53.000 We're back to the 90s.

02:07:54.000 It's David Dinkins, New York.

02:07:57.000 It is worse.

02:07:58.000 It is bad.

02:07:59.000 But it's nothing like Dinkins.

02:08:01.000 David Dinkins, when he was in New York in the late 80s, the death toll was 2,000.

02:08:07.000 2,600 murders?

02:08:08.000 2,600 murders a year.

02:08:10.000 We're up from Giuliani days, which was probably under 300.

02:08:14.000 We're now up closer to 400.

02:08:16.000 So it's like my favorite three rock bands.

02:08:21.000 Pearl Jam, Tool, and probably Owls and Chains.

02:08:26.000 Hell yeah.

02:08:27.000 That's what I'm talking about.

02:08:28.000 I don't agree with that.

02:08:29.000 You're outnumbered.

02:08:31.000 Pearl Jam's my favorite, though.

02:08:32.000 Well, what are we doing here?

02:08:33.000 Is it Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin?

02:08:35.000 I mean, how big are we going?

02:08:36.000 Me, daughter.

02:08:40.000 What do you think?

02:08:42.000 They're playing the beacon this week.

02:08:43.000 Well, Eddie Vetter is.

02:08:45.000 It's clearly Rolling Stones, then Zeppelin, then Generation X. Hey, Matt.

02:08:52.000 Hey, boys, can you please do a project very test spoof skit?

02:08:56.000 Are you careful to expose Joe Tonelli and his crazy lies?

02:09:00.000 But how do we expose him?

02:09:02.000 I mean, doesn't he already do that himself?

02:09:04.000 Like, we do that to his face.

02:09:05.000 Yeah.

02:09:06.000 Every day we go, so like, like Matt, he goes, so you went to high school in Scotland.

02:09:13.000 Were there any sort of sayings that you remember?

02:09:15.000 I mean, the Scots are known as having a very particular language.

02:09:20.000 Like, what's your favorite three Scottish candies?

02:09:22.000 Yeah.

02:09:22.000 A flake, a crunchy, and like a thing of smart.

02:09:26.000 Jammy Doja.

02:09:27.000 Yeah.

02:09:28.000 The Penguin Bar, Marshall.

02:09:30.000 What about some Scottish comics?

02:09:32.000 Yeah.

02:09:32.000 Or Willie.

02:09:33.000 Woo and Willie, the Boons, Core, Wizard and Chip.

02:09:37.000 The Beano.

02:09:38.000 Beano, Dennis Zimenis, The Bath Street Kids, ringing e-bells.

02:09:42.000 Who's your favorite Bath Street kid?

02:09:45.000 Oh, Howie.

02:09:47.000 California, A.B. States that every public school must have at least one baby's bathroom with a tampon dispenser.

02:09:53.000 Boys' bathroom.

02:09:54.000 Babies don't need tampons. 1.00

02:09:55.000 Boys' bathroom.

02:09:57.000 Fuck him.

02:09:58.000 Elementary schools, too?

02:09:59.000 That's disgusting.

02:10:01.000 If your boomer parents had you late enough to make you close to the age of the oldest millions, but you were clearly child of boomers and you have more in common with Gen X, you're still a millennial?

02:10:10.000 No.

02:10:11.000 Next.

02:10:13.000 What's worse about the Nazis, systemic extermination of six million people, or the fact they'll be used in insult in the political debate for the rest of time?

02:10:20.000 Yeah, can we just like on my debate on Saturday night, I think I'm just going to say, anytime you mention Hitler or the Gestapo or the Holocaust, I'm peacing out.

02:10:32.000 I cannot fucking do it anymore.

02:10:34.000 It's like Bob Marley.

02:10:36.000 I cannot listen to legend ever again.

02:10:40.000 One, no woman, no cry.

02:10:42.000 I'm done.

02:10:42.000 I'm up to here.

02:10:44.000 Jimi Hendrix, you can take him forever.

02:10:48.000 I don't know.

02:10:48.000 There's something about Bob Marley where you just hit a wall.

02:10:51.000 And I've hit a wall with fucking Hitler analogies.

02:10:56.000 I'm done.

02:10:57.000 Are we done?

02:10:58.000 No.

02:10:59.000 I am done.

02:11:00.000 You're done.

02:11:00.000 I'm done.

02:11:01.000 I'm so done.

02:11:02.000 We got a couple more here.

02:11:03.000 Bam.

02:11:04.000 Okay.

02:11:05.000 Just did that one.

02:11:06.000 Oh, okay.

02:11:07.000 Nodding off.

02:11:08.000 Ooh, fudge. 0.76

02:11:10.000 Brucey with the hard feeling.

02:11:12.000 Does this do anything?

02:11:13.000 I finally found the death of cool.

02:11:14.000 Thanks for all the positive messaging of fatherhood.

02:11:16.000 Blah, blah, blah.

02:11:17.000 Me and my wife, we're expecting our first.

02:11:19.000 More excited.

02:11:20.000 Congratulations, buddy.

02:11:21.000 Enjoy it.

02:11:22.000 Yes.

02:11:23.000 Take it day by day.

02:11:25.000 First seven weeks sucks, my man.

02:11:27.000 No sleep.

02:11:28.000 But after that, it's paradise.

02:11:30.000 After seven weeks, they're going back to having sex.

02:11:33.000 Yeah.

02:11:35.000 Then when they're 13, it sucks again.

02:11:38.000 Sup, dudes, Gavi of the man.

02:11:39.000 Can Ryan do the confused Asian face swap play a quick game? 0.61

02:11:43.000 Would you rather blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:11:44.000 That's a lot of requests.

02:11:45.000 I'd rather eat Whoopee's pussy or pussy's whoopee? 1.00

02:11:50.000 Cat poop.

02:11:52.000 I would rather eat Whoopi Goldberg's vagina than eat Feces. 1.00

02:11:56.000 Yes.

02:11:57.000 Obviously.

02:11:59.000 What's worse?

02:12:00.000 Same one.

02:12:01.000 Same one.

02:12:03.000 You've gone all through these.

02:12:04.000 Oh, here we go.

02:12:05.000 Gavin, you early is you hung out with likes of David Crosser.

02:12:08.000 Silverman, as well before you and them had even begun to reach the pinnacles of your fame.

02:12:15.000 Why so many famous, successful people so early?

02:12:18.000 Sprinkles?

02:12:20.000 Ooh.

02:12:22.000 Maybe you influenced them.

02:12:23.000 No, I ran Vice.

02:12:25.000 So I was documenting.

02:12:27.000 When you're a comedian or a celebrity or whatever, you want to be documented.

02:12:31.000 You want the history books to show you exist.

02:12:34.000 You want attention.

02:12:36.000 So everyone wanted me around them because...

02:12:40.000 Covered by Vice.

02:12:41.000 And I think, actually, I think I would still be in their good books if I wasn't literally Hitler. 0.88

02:12:50.000 And I think I know why.

02:12:52.000 I think I know why.

02:12:53.000 Like, who's the guy who's Ricky Gervais's sidekick?

02:12:57.000 Stephen the super tall?

02:12:58.000 Stephen Merchant?

02:12:59.000 Stephen Merchant.

02:13:01.000 I was Stephen Merchant to them.

02:13:03.000 So I would still be in their lives if I wasn't bad for their careers.

02:13:10.000 So I think maybe what got me in the door was being a documentarian.

02:13:14.000 And then I think I'd still be in the door if I didn't get this red scarlet letter of being, you know, literally Hitler, where it's like, and I kind of get it.

02:13:26.000 Like, Jennifer Edison got a $3 million deal with vitamin water.

02:13:31.000 I can have Gavin in my house once a year and lose that money, or I cannot have him in my house.

02:13:38.000 What would you choose?

02:13:39.000 Or I could have a pristine couch.

02:13:41.000 I could not have him wet my bed.

02:13:43.000 Or like even with Joe Rogan, he's like, I could keep my interviews with Gavin, or I could not get $100 million from Spotify.

02:13:54.000 I think I'll kill Gavin and Milo and Alex Jones.

02:13:58.000 I mean, I would hope that I would be brave enough to say no to that money, but I'm not even sure I would.

02:14:06.000 So I kind of, I don't have a beef with someone who tells me to fuck off for $100 million.

02:14:14.000 This could be a good green screen.

02:14:15.000 Valentine's Day advice.

02:14:17.000 Some people need help with romance.

02:14:18.000 A lot of autistic people out there.

02:14:19.000 She's early 30s together, 11 married, two kids.

02:14:24.000 Oh, come on, dude.

02:14:24.000 You need help?

02:14:25.000 All right, let's wrap it up.

02:14:26.000 This is getting tedious.

02:14:28.000 What's that fucking honking?

02:14:29.000 That's to let you know we got a new thing.

02:14:31.000 How do you feel about nipple piercings?

02:14:33.000 I think they're gay. 1.00

02:14:34.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:14:38.000 I've had them.

02:15:24.000 Okay, if things.

02:15:26.000 If I can't be the things you wanted, then I'll fill in other shoes.

02:15:29.000 And if I can't say the things you wanted, then I see through different views.

02:15:32.000 Take it from the top.

02:15:33.000 Thanks a lot.

02:15:34.000 Love to Splooge.

02:15:36.000 $25.

02:15:37.000 Maddie was in West Palm Beach the other week.

02:15:39.000 Saw the fakest Hell's Angel jacket of all time.

02:15:41.000 Some piece of shit satin jacket with Hell's Angel World on it.

02:15:44.000 I was stunned to see it.

02:15:45.000 Thoughts?

02:15:46.000 Oh, Hell's Angel World is a thing that they wear.

02:15:52.000 I said they actually wear jackets like that.

02:15:54.000 Oh.

02:15:55.000 Well, so now you're just insulting the Hell's Angels, John.

02:16:00.000 Rank the following.

02:16:02.000 It's a rarity to see him in Florida.

02:16:04.000 Oh, I see.

02:16:06.000 Rank the following Ryans.

02:16:07.000 1 through 4.

02:16:08.000 Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Seacast, Ryan Katzuvera.

02:16:11.000 Me, me, me, and then me, and then also Ryan Secress at the bottom.

02:16:14.000 Seamus McGillicuddy, $10, thank you.

02:16:16.000 Great idea, Gavin.

02:16:17.000 This is Tits. 1.00

02:16:17.000 Hey, you look pretty good in a cowboy hat. 1.00

02:16:19.000 However, I like the total fuckhead.

02:16:20.000 I look like a total fuckhead with a cowboy hat on.

02:16:23.000 Anyway, love you guys.

02:16:24.000 Please keep telling the truth.

02:16:25.000 Front butt, 50 bucks.

02:16:27.000 Thank you.

02:16:28.000 Gavin, will Anal Shinook remove their music from Spotify in protest.

02:16:31.000 Heh! 0.96

02:16:32.000 Seamus.

02:16:33.000 10 bucks.

02:16:34.000 Another 10.

02:16:35.000 Any recommendations on how to quit pornography and cutting down a masturbation to at least once a week?

02:16:41.000 Whoa.

02:16:41.000 I've been trying since New Year, but nothing I do ever works.

02:16:44.000 Also, what is your view on Adam and the Ants?

02:16:46.000 Ken Wall.

02:16:48.000 Just don't do it.

02:16:50.000 It's not like food where you have a hunger.

02:16:53.000 Just do something else.

02:16:54.000 Think about the Lord.

02:16:55.000 Think about your family and friends that have passed on and they're looking down at you.

02:17:02.000 And then just go for a fucking walk.

02:17:04.000 Do some push-ups.

02:17:05.000 Stop being a fucking puss. 0.63

02:17:06.000 And let that man brew stew in your goo, keeper. 0.99

02:17:13.000 You know?

02:17:14.000 What are you weak?

02:17:15.000 You have to, like...

02:17:16.000 Anyway.

02:17:17.000 Hi from Yorkshire.

02:17:18.000 Gavin, do you believe we should leverage values such as Islam's values against LGBT? 0.80

02:17:22.000 Read Samuel T. Francis, Pat Buchanan's writer, who D'Souza destroyed and should be hated for.

02:17:27.000 Joshua from Yorkshire.

02:17:30.000 And that is it.

02:17:31.000 Thank you for tuning in and tootaloo.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 04, 2022

GOML LIVE #134 - BROTHER OTTAWA

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript