Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #137 - UNDERESTIMATING RYAN (Part 1)


Summary

Matty's Shitty Kitchen Matty Odell is back, and he's back with a vengeance. Matty's new show, Matty s Shitty KITCHEN, premieres this week on Bravo's After Hours with Ryan Higa, and Matty dishes up his worst meal of the week, and Ryan tries to convince Matty that he's a better cook than he really is. Matty also gets a phone call from Dr. Mon, who tells him that he needs to go to the ER, but it's probably not a good idea. And finally, Ryan gets a text from Matty saying that it's the best meal he's had in a long while, and it's not even close to as good as the one he's been eating for the past month! Get off your Lawn with Gavin McInnes! Get Off My Lawn with Gav and Ryan on the phone with the emergency doctor, and find out what's going on with Baby Momma and Beanie Man. Get it? Subscribe to the podcast Get It? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Rate/subscribe in Apple Podcast. Review and review our new podcast, Gav's new book, "Get It?" Outro Music: "Goodbye Outer Space" by Jeff Perla Get the show: Download MP3" Subscribe on Podchaser and Subscribe on Stitcher.fm/GetItOnMyLawn/Gavin's New Song "Outdoor" by Gav is out now! Thank you for listening to this episode of Get it on iTunes and Subscribe to my podcast? Thanks for supporting Get It On My Lawn & Subscribe on My Lawn? by Gavin's New Book Recommendation: and Reviewed on iTunes & Reviewed On Podchronicity by Gave Me a Reviewed by Meals by Meghan's Good Vibes by Meckle and I'll See You on Yelp & Gave Him a Review on Yelp Thank You for Reviewed It Outro by Meek & Other Podcasts & I'll Beepers and I'm Sending Me Out! by You've Got It Outtro by You'll Be My Best Week! Subscribe & I'm Thanked For Reviewed By Meek and I Can't Wait to Review It's My Best Day is out in the Podcasts by You're Gonna Have It Out?


Transcript

00:00:06.000 Hello, this is the medical center.
00:00:07.000 How can I help you?
00:00:09.000 Hello, is that the emergency doctor?
00:00:11.000 Yes, this is Dr. Davis.
00:00:12.000 How can I be of service?
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:20.000 I'm on my way.
00:00:21.000 Hang up your phone, darling.
00:00:23.000 Emergency, Mr. Dr. Mon.
00:00:25.000 You have to bring home your medication.
00:00:27.000 Can you give me some of your low portion?
00:00:30.000 Give me the injection for all night long.
00:00:33.000 Emergency, Mr. Dr. Mon.
00:00:35.000 You have to bring home your medication.
00:00:37.000 Can you give me some of your low portion?
00:00:40.000 Give me the injection for all night long.
00:00:41.000 Hey!
00:00:42.000 Yeah.
00:01:13.000 That was clearly Beanie Man.
00:01:16.000 Was that Beanie Man?
00:01:17.000 Yeah, that was clearly Beanie Man with a slut that he's fucking, who agreed to, or he agreed to do a song with her, I guess, because she's retarded and talentless and he's one of the most famous dance hall dudes in history.
00:01:35.000 Who am I?
00:01:36.000 The keys to my mama!
00:01:38.000 But this dumb bitch, I don't know, she got him to do a song.
00:01:44.000 What a mess.
00:01:44.000 That was sent in by a Baby Monster.
00:01:46.000 Speaking of Baby Monsters, we have Matty Odell in the house!
00:01:50.000 What's going on, everybody?
00:01:50.000 Good to see you.
00:01:51.000 Welcome back.
00:01:53.000 Matty Odell.
00:01:53.000 We will be debuting Matty's new show, Matty's Shitty Kitchen.
00:01:57.000 There we go.
00:01:59.000 Which is smaller than this desk, by far.
00:02:02.000 Oh yeah.
00:02:04.000 And he'll be preparing this meal.
00:02:08.000 Right?
00:02:09.000 Yep.
00:02:10.000 That exact one.
00:02:13.000 Now, what is this exactly, Matty?
00:02:15.000 That's a ribeye.
00:02:16.000 That's an inch and a quarter ribeye with asparagus, you know, sautéed, grilled, and it's got a little salt, pepper, and a knife and everything there.
00:02:27.000 That was done in a little bit of pan with olive oil, butter, and lemon juice, a little salt and pepper.
00:02:33.000 The steak is a ribeye from a local butcher.
00:02:38.000 Great choice.
00:02:39.000 That's my favorite steak.
00:02:40.000 It was a ribeye.
00:02:46.000 Are you mad?
00:02:48.000 Am I mad?
00:02:49.000 This is fucking disgusting.
00:02:51.000 This is a shit sandwich.
00:02:55.000 No, it's obviously delicious.
00:02:58.000 It's fucking terrible.
00:03:01.000 It was really good.
00:03:02.000 That's fucking terrible.
00:03:04.000 I wouldn't give it to my dog.
00:03:07.000 Might poison him.
00:03:07.000 Our viewers are very sensitive about chewing on the mic, but I understand, Ryan, you were disturbed by how delicious it was.
00:03:16.000 Yeah.
00:03:17.000 When I took a bite I was so disturbed I went... He sent me a text and said it was the best meal he's had in a... Months.
00:03:25.000 A long while.
00:03:26.000 For months.
00:03:27.000 Definitely this whole year.
00:03:28.000 Oh yeah.
00:03:30.000 I put a little TLC in it.
00:03:32.000 Cause I like to eat good food.
00:03:35.000 Me like to eat good food with the man.
00:03:37.000 There's butter there too if you want it.
00:03:38.000 The fucking potatoes?
00:03:39.000 There's butter for the potatoes.
00:03:41.000 Oh.
00:03:43.000 Yeah, when you were offering me butter on it and stuff, I was like, I couldn't imagine it getting any better, so no.
00:03:47.000 Oh yeah.
00:03:48.000 And then you put butter on it, it is better.
00:03:50.000 But, you can't picture it getting any better.
00:03:54.000 I thought my wife was the best cook in the world.
00:03:57.000 And now... This is making me lust you.
00:04:01.000 Alright.
00:04:02.000 I'm glad you like it.
00:04:04.000 That was probably not the goal.
00:04:07.000 Who knows?
00:04:09.000 Don't judge Matty.
00:04:10.000 Don't put your thoughts into Matty's head.
00:04:12.000 You don't know what he was going for.
00:04:14.000 Well, I want to reveal the goal, so if I say it's not the goal and he says it is... Who does the cooking at your house, Ryan?
00:04:19.000 Mostly me, but sometimes my wife also cooks.
00:04:22.000 That's Maldon finishing salt.
00:04:24.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:26.000 Salt flakes.
00:04:27.000 The Maldon.
00:04:29.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:31.000 So, Ryan, do you think Matty's a better cook than you?
00:04:35.000 Because you seem freaked out by this.
00:04:37.000 Yeah, he's got the touch, dude.
00:04:41.000 What can you say?
00:04:42.000 He took a few pointers.
00:04:45.000 I was asking him about some tips and stuff like that, and I learned a lot while doing that.
00:04:49.000 I am also an owner of a cast iron skillet.
00:04:51.000 You're blurry.
00:04:52.000 And so he was teaching me how to season it.
00:04:55.000 I come home, and I don't remember mentioning the seasoning of the pan, because his looks like it's brand new.
00:05:03.000 It's shiny and immaculate.
00:05:04.000 It gets used a lot.
00:05:06.000 Yeah, so you season it, you know, in the oven.
00:05:08.000 I season it quite often.
00:05:10.000 Yeah.
00:05:11.000 You know, I go to the gym, I come home, and I hadn't mentioned the seasoning thing to my wife, and she's already starting to season the pan.
00:05:19.000 I was like, maybe I did mention it, and I didn't.
00:05:22.000 I definitely didn't.
00:05:23.000 Yeah, you did.
00:05:23.000 You clearly did.
00:05:24.000 How's the asparagus?
00:05:26.000 It's about a goose.
00:05:27.000 You know, your wife has a new baby.
00:05:28.000 She feels vulnerable.
00:05:30.000 Anytime you say anything good, she's scared you're gonna leave her.
00:05:34.000 What?
00:05:34.000 So if you say like, hey, I saw NASCAR, look cool.
00:05:39.000 You'd come home and she'd be wearing like a full body suit.
00:05:43.000 Fire retardant racing suit with a helmet.
00:05:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:48.000 I love NASCAR too, don't go.
00:05:50.000 It's a genetic thing.
00:05:52.000 Dude, this is amazing.
00:05:54.000 Where'd you get these steaks from?
00:05:56.000 Local butcher.
00:05:58.000 And what's it called?
00:06:00.000 With that?
00:06:01.000 That's a ribeye.
00:06:04.000 My favorite steak.
00:06:05.000 Arguably the best steak.
00:06:06.000 A lot of people like porterhouses because you get like three cuts of meat but... It's got the perfect amount of fat too.
00:06:13.000 Yeah.
00:06:14.000 It comes with more fat on it.
00:06:15.000 Like if you see the pictures I sent you when I uh...
00:06:19.000 When they were raw, there's a lot more, but then... Yeah, yeah, it looked really marbleized.
00:06:23.000 Yeah, you trimmed it.
00:06:24.000 Well, you trimmed the heavy, like the fat cap and everything like that.
00:06:27.000 You're not gonna sit there and chew on the fat.
00:06:28.000 But the fat's the flavor.
00:06:31.000 Yeah.
00:06:31.000 And there was a very tiny bit of a bone in one side of it, which is also flavor.
00:06:37.000 You want all that.
00:06:39.000 So starting tomorrow, new hit show, Matty's Shitty Kitchen.
00:06:43.000 The first show is this meal you're seeing right now.
00:06:46.000 Steak, potatoes, and asparagus.
00:06:48.000 The next show, I believe the plan is prison food.
00:06:50.000 Yeah.
00:06:51.000 Well, you couldn't get more American than steak and potatoes.
00:06:54.000 Yeah, it's fucking amazing.
00:06:56.000 It's excellently well done.
00:06:58.000 If you look at the potatoes, they're fucking perfect.
00:07:01.000 The steak, perfectly well done.
00:07:03.000 It's Gordon Ramsay.
00:07:05.000 Yeah.
00:07:05.000 I don't know about that, dude.
00:07:08.000 It was one of the greatest steaks.
00:07:09.000 Gordon Ramsay has a thing where he's always like this.
00:07:12.000 That's not cooked!
00:07:14.000 It's raw!
00:07:14.000 You're a fucking idiot!
00:07:15.000 So, we're outside a restaurant in upstate New York where no one has made over a dime in four weeks.
00:07:23.000 So we're doing good guy Gordon.
00:07:25.000 We're just like, this is an excellent restaurant, lots of promise.
00:07:28.000 It's owned by a mother and a son.
00:07:30.000 They've done great numbers, but we're going to check out their menu to see if it holds up to Chef Ramsay's.
00:07:36.000 No, you clearly haven't watched the show.
00:07:38.000 I've watched the fights.
00:07:39.000 That's why I can only do Angry Ramsey.
00:07:41.000 Yeah, you've only seen the sizzle reels.
00:07:43.000 He goes to those restaurants in upstate New York, but he's a cocksucker to them, if they suck.
00:07:49.000 It's not like he hugs everyone.
00:07:52.000 He only hugs them when they do a good job.
00:07:54.000 That's what hurts, though.
00:07:54.000 He starts out nice, and then he starts losing respect for them in real time.
00:07:58.000 It's the same as all his shows.
00:07:59.000 He's a Scotsman, ultimately.
00:08:03.000 And he gives you the time of day.
00:08:05.000 He says, um, I'm open minded, but, uh, when you fuck up, he says it, which is becoming a rare trait.
00:08:16.000 So you know how this goes to the first half hour of the show is in front of a paywall.
00:08:22.000 It's all free.
00:08:23.000 It's meant to represent the brand, but it doesn't really because it's not how we do things here.
00:08:29.000 It's more of a
00:08:33.000 Just sort of winging it.
00:08:34.000 We'll talk about the opening song in a second.
00:08:38.000 And then we take calls.
00:08:39.000 We take Super Chats.
00:08:40.000 We donate the Super Chats to Max and John, our friends in prison.
00:08:44.000 And we read letters.
00:08:48.000 Oh shit, I forgot my computer in the other room.
00:08:52.000 And stuff like that.
00:08:52.000 We also, because this part is free, we thank our sponsors, TacticalWalls.com.
00:08:58.000 Veteran owned, go to TacticalWalls.com for the best product in America.
00:09:04.000 The ad copy guy is so hurt by me constantly making fun of his copywriting that now it's just four sentences, which includes, say whatever you want.
00:09:16.000 And whatever is spelled wrong, by the way.
00:09:20.000 Ryan you're showing premiere it it's what space everyone whatever is one word ad copy guy and you don't have to type out www dot unless of course it's 1999 and you're a baby boomer
00:09:38.000 Young people your age, you can just say TacticalWallace.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
00:09:45.000 They are doing, he's included Christmas giveaways for some reason.
00:09:48.000 So, even after you've been humiliated for your terrible copywriting, you have a typo and you mention Christmas, you fucking retard.
00:09:56.000 Yeah, right?
00:10:00.000 Yep, so incredible stuff there.
00:10:02.000 Ways to mount your guns if you live in a non-gun state like we do.
00:10:07.000 You can put up your baseball equipment.
00:10:09.000 You can trick out your Jeep.
00:10:11.000 Go and check out TacticalWalls.com because to explain every single option they have goes on and on forever.
00:10:19.000 It is amazing the variety of shit they have.
00:10:23.000 And Tactical Tim's a close friend of the brand.
00:10:26.000 It's strange that almost all of our sponsors are veterans.
00:10:31.000 Isn't that weird?
00:10:32.000 Yeah.
00:10:32.000 Well, they're patriots.
00:10:35.000 I guess they're the only ones who don't care when Antifa calls you 900 times and terrorizes everyone you talk to.
00:10:42.000 So, we gotta get into Ukraine today, but let's go back a step to the opening song.
00:10:49.000 So that was a... I'm gonna assume a slut?
00:10:54.000 A groupie?
00:10:57.000 Some probably like rich British woman.
00:11:00.000 She made I'm gonna say a million and a half from her divorce and she's in Jamaica getting fucked.
00:11:06.000 She's fucking Beanie Man and she goes, I want to be a performer too.
00:11:09.000 Look at her.
00:11:10.000 She's up in age, too.
00:11:11.000 Yeah.
00:11:12.000 She's no spring chicken.
00:11:13.000 I mean, I can't be wrong, right?
00:11:15.000 She's a nobody who wants a music career.
00:11:18.000 She's Rebecca Black.
00:11:19.000 There's no way.
00:11:19.000 Oh, I know.
00:11:21.000 Maybe she didn't even fuck Beanie Man.
00:11:25.000 Maybe her husband
00:11:39.000 Paid for this and then she did a song with Beanie Man.
00:11:41.000 She's actually never fucked him.
00:11:43.000 It's a make-a-wish.
00:11:45.000 Possibly.
00:11:46.000 Maybe she's terminal?
00:11:48.000 She looks like my mom.
00:11:49.000 I've never been less horny in my life.
00:12:06.000 Yeah, this is about as sexy as an actual hospital song.
00:12:09.000 It reminded me of Beanie Man in 1998 when he did a song with... I think it was... Wait, go to 1-2?
00:12:21.000 Oh yeah.
00:12:26.000 So this is Beanie Man at his best.
00:12:28.000 For some reason, punk rockers were allowed to listen to reggae and dancehall when I was a teenager, so I'm very well versed in it.
00:12:35.000 Against my will.
00:12:38.000 This is Beanie Man's hit.
00:12:39.000 This is a guy we just saw without a hideous spinster forcing him to perform.
00:12:44.000 That was 98.
00:12:46.000 I think this song is why I have a BMW.
00:13:02.000 I love Jamaican nouveau riche.
00:13:06.000 I think when I got you new one, I said Sim Simmer, who's got the keys from Beamer, and you were like, I didn't peg you as a Beanie Man guy.
00:13:14.000 Same with my Land Rover.
00:13:15.000 It's Jamaican.
00:13:16.000 I love that they have a Bimmer and a Land Rover next to a house made of cinder blocks and corrugated tin.
00:13:23.000 And I was gonna say, you got the Beamer and the Land Rover and a landlord.
00:13:26.000 Yeah.
00:13:30.000 But the song, the opening song reminded me of Tipa Irie.
00:13:35.000 Few people remember him.
00:13:36.000 He was like a British dude, but he sounded like a Jamaican guy that no one had ever heard of.
00:13:41.000 And when you found his records, you thought you dug them up from some old weird Jamaican.
00:13:45.000 Like even the cover there does not look like you found some weird rural Jamaican guy.
00:13:50.000 He's from fucking Brixton.
00:13:51.000 Maybe this is what that white woman was going for?
00:13:55.000 Possibly.
00:13:55.000 She didn't hit it though.
00:13:57.000 She missed the mark.
00:13:58.000 She just definitely wants a shot of penicillin.
00:14:19.000 I like in this song she talks about how she's big and he goes, me, Tipa Irie and me, kind of small or something and she goes, me, Mrs. Irie and me, big and me broad.
00:14:31.000 So the big and proud thing lived on way back when.
00:14:34.000 Well, Brian, you talk like my youth was in the 1920s.
00:14:40.000 I picture black and white when you tell your stories.
00:14:41.000 This is like 1989.
00:14:46.000 Year of my birth.
00:14:48.000 Really?
00:14:48.000 Yep.
00:14:48.000 Check out this beautiful jam, Ragamuffin Girl.
00:14:51.000 A beautiful ode to his lovely wife.
00:14:55.000 She's a ragamuffin with the chicken stuffin'.
00:15:01.000 Woah.
00:15:01.000 You're gonna fall in love with this.
00:15:06.000 Oh yeah!
00:15:12.000 I think you just said, step up Mr. Honey Bites and tell him wagwan.
00:15:20.000 Oh my, wagwan, wagwan.
00:15:22.000 You're known as Mr. Honey Bites?
00:15:24.000 I'm trying to think, who's better, this guy or the guy with the one string guitar?
00:15:34.000 No, dude.
00:15:34.000 What are you talking about?
00:15:36.000 How dare you?
00:15:36.000 The guy with the one-string guitar is an incompetent retard.
00:15:39.000 Tipa Irie is a god.
00:15:41.000 Oh, yeah?
00:15:42.000 Tipa Irie.
00:15:43.000 He did a song with the Black Eyed Peas recently, 1-6.
00:15:46.000 Really?
00:15:47.000 Uh-huh.
00:15:49.000 Which is weird, because...
00:15:52.000 They didn't take advantage of his dance hall skills and just treated him like a reggae star.
00:15:56.000 I was watching this video before the show and it looks like, you know those cooking shows like Gordon Ramsay where they say, here's a vending machine, make a delicious gourmet snack with Cheetos and Oreos and like whatever you can get in the vending machine.
00:16:13.000 They have to make a high-end meal.
00:16:15.000 Doesn't this look like they were locked in Target overnight and they had to make a hit song with the equipment you can find in Target and the clothes.
00:16:28.000 That's him.
00:16:29.000 That's Tipa Irie.
00:16:30.000 That's Tipa Irie right there?
00:16:31.000 Yeah, he's older than us.
00:16:32.000 He's like 60.
00:16:33.000 Wow.
00:16:34.000 How Target is this?
00:16:45.000 I think they did a Target commercial, didn't they?
00:16:49.000 Well... Are they still together?
00:16:51.000 If I was the CEO of Target, I'd go, these guys are making Target commercials, let's get a Target logo on them.
00:16:59.000 They're dancers.
00:17:00.000 This is dancer rock.
00:17:04.000 Go Fergie.
00:17:05.000 What happened?
00:17:10.000 Oh my god.
00:17:14.000 Oh my god.
00:17:15.000 They did a Target commercial.
00:17:17.000 And it's exactly the same, but actually better.
00:17:27.000 Is this a song they already had, or they did this for Target?
00:17:30.000 No, this is their song.
00:17:30.000 Oh yeah!
00:17:32.000 They released it.
00:17:32.000 Oh, they're releasing their ad.
00:17:33.000 They're doing an ad for their CD, and it's at Target for $9.98.
00:17:37.000 It was only at Target.
00:17:39.000 Here's another one.
00:17:40.000 Another Black Eyed Peas Target commercial?
00:17:42.000 Another one!
00:17:43.000 Wow, they love Target, dude.
00:17:50.000 They are Target.
00:17:52.000 What's the difference between the Black Eyed Peas and Target?
00:17:55.000 You could enter one and buy stuff in one.
00:17:57.000 It's the same thing.
00:18:00.000 They should just merge.
00:18:02.000 I've always said that about the Canadian-American border.
00:18:04.000 Let's just erase it and merge.
00:18:06.000 Let's cut the shit.
00:18:07.000 We're the same.
00:18:09.000 Black Eyed Peas are our target.
00:18:12.000 Stop.
00:18:13.000 They'll do all the music for all your commercials.
00:18:17.000 They are brand ambassadors.
00:18:19.000 So then I'm reminded of dance bands, like bands made by dancers, which of course brings you to the Pussycat Dolls, who had zero musical talent, but they were sexy and dancers.
00:18:36.000 And they hire Snoop, just like that opening woman hired Beanie Man.
00:18:40.000 Yeah.
00:18:41.000 And the other guys hired Tipa Irie.
00:18:46.000 They're just a little bit hotter than The Nurse.
00:18:49.000 If you held a gun to my head, I don't think I could get this song stuck in that same head.
00:18:57.000 I don't know this song.
00:18:59.000 But it has like 63 million views.
00:19:02.000 Holy shit.
00:19:04.000 That main chick is the only one you remember.
00:19:05.000 Like, if you saw any of the other ones in an airport or something, you wouldn't... You wouldn't be like, that's the chick from that thing.
00:19:11.000 It's unknown.
00:19:13.000 It's like... It's like a K-pop band.
00:19:15.000 It's like the bassist of The Who.
00:19:18.000 John Entwistle.
00:19:24.000 You could sit next to him at a bar and have no idea you're sitting with John Entwistle.
00:19:29.000 She's got kind of an ethnic vibe, like a Filipina.
00:19:33.000 She's something.
00:19:34.000 Anyway, that song sucks, but then I'm reminded of her brother Jonathan Anton, who had an incredible show in 2004 called Blowout, and he's a hairstylist.
00:19:46.000 Who's very aggressive.
00:19:48.000 This is her brother.
00:19:48.000 Now stop.
00:19:53.000 Stop.
00:19:54.000 Remember how I told you the way to fuck your wife is to watch her stupid shows and comment on them?
00:20:00.000 It's the best way to seduce a girlfriend or a wife is to pretend you care about Real Housewives or whatever.
00:20:05.000 But inevitably you get Stockholm Syndrome and you start caring about the show.
00:20:10.000 I started getting into this show Blowout in 2004 that was on Bravo.
00:20:17.000 And it's about this weird not gay hairstylist who's probably has the IQ of like I would say a bear or a frog and he's got a very bad temper and he was always coming up with ideas because the guy's making tons of money because you're a hairstylist in LA which is it's like being in sanitation in New York like you can't not make money.
00:20:41.000 But in one episode, his water dies, his water is out at his house, so he uses bottled water to wash his hair, and he goes, oh my god, my hair is insane today!
00:20:54.000 So he becomes convinced that it's because of the bottled water.
00:20:58.000 So he comes up with these filters to put on your shower head that can make your water like bottled water.
00:21:04.000 Which is just made up filters.
00:21:06.000 It's just another bunch of filters.
00:21:07.000 It means nothing.
00:21:09.000 Carbon is in there and all this crap.
00:21:11.000 It means nothing.
00:21:12.000 But women are so eager to be attractive that they spend thousands of dollars on this.
00:21:18.000 So it's a success.
00:21:19.000 So that guy, I remember this episode.
00:21:22.000 That guy was gonna design the packaging.
00:21:25.000 But he was taking too long and was pissing off Pussycat Doll's brother.
00:21:30.000 And he'd had enough of this shit!
00:21:34.000 So this is him arguing with Pee Wee Herman about it.
00:21:36.000 Fake.
00:21:36.000 Such a fake fight.
00:21:38.000 Look at that LA look.
00:21:51.000 Whoa!
00:21:51.000 Come on, you're talking to me.
00:21:52.000 You know what?
00:21:53.000 We know the score here.
00:21:53.000 You know when you called me, you said what we were going to do.
00:21:56.000 Shut the fuck up and leave!
00:21:57.000 What we were going to do is I was going to work with you and I was going to be insulated from the lights.
00:22:03.000 In 2004, were TVs square?
00:22:04.000 Yeah.
00:22:06.000 Even all those Black Eyed Peas songs.
00:22:08.000 You're welcome.
00:22:10.000 Wow, I'm old.
00:22:12.000 Yeah, aspect ratio.
00:22:13.000 TVs were square in 2004.
00:22:14.000 Yep.
00:22:14.000 That's very recent.
00:22:19.000 Um... Should we... Okay, we're done discussing those things.
00:22:24.000 Start the show?
00:22:25.000 Let's start the show.
00:22:26.000 Fuckin'... Why was that so green, that one show?
00:22:40.000 The, uh... It was the keying.
00:22:42.000 I had to adjust the keying.
00:22:45.000 Why'd you have to adjust it that one particular episode?
00:22:48.000 I use it for different things and usually I don't have the green screen on it and also I've been creating new sessions so I have to redo the green screen parameters every time I do that.
00:22:59.000 Now Ryan and I are going to AFPAC tomorrow to study the white nationalists and learn about their disgusting behavior and expose them for who they are which is
00:23:11.000 Number one threat to American safety today.
00:23:14.000 Domestic terrorism, mostly white supremacists, which is Trump supporters, blue-collar Americans, anti-mandators, anti-vaxxers, QAnon, Canadian truckers.
00:23:30.000 Am I missing anything here?
00:23:32.000 Parents that go to school board meetings.
00:23:34.000 Parents that care about CRT.
00:23:37.000 Parents that, I know this sounds like anti-masks, but parents that don't want their kids to wear masks.
00:23:43.000 Those eight groups are the threat to America.
00:23:48.000 They are going to destroy our country.
00:23:50.000 And Biden is doing his best to stop them.
00:23:53.000 And Trudeau is chipping in.
00:23:55.000 Klaus Schwab is doing a great job.
00:23:57.000 But eventually, you know, you got to take up arms yourself.
00:24:02.000 So we're going to AfPak to kill everyone there.
00:24:05.000 Right.
00:24:06.000 First I'm going to ask them, I mean there's a lot of controversy over how does, like I know the followers of Nick Fuentes, they Zeke Heil with like the 45 degree angle one.
00:24:15.000 But since he's the leader, does he just do that like Hitler Heil?
00:24:17.000 Heil.
00:24:19.000 Like that little lazy bones?
00:24:20.000 Like Dr. Evo?
00:24:21.000 Yeah.
00:24:21.000 Heil.
00:24:23.000 Like I want to get to the bottom of that.
00:24:25.000 We got to stop them.
00:24:27.000 And we got to find these black white nationalists.
00:24:30.000 Because they must hate themselves.
00:24:32.000 Bryson Gray, John Miller.
00:24:35.000 And those are just the people that are special guests.
00:24:38.000 There's also the black attendees.
00:24:40.000 Remember last year we noticed a bunch of black attendees?
00:24:48.000 You gotta find them too.
00:24:49.000 I gotta say, every time I fart I get mad.
00:24:52.000 Why's that?
00:24:53.000 Cause it smells like... I forgot what it's... Cobalt!
00:24:59.000 Cobalt!
00:25:00.000 And I'm like, I fly to fucking Nashville to do that interview, right?
00:25:06.000 I'm taking off my shoes.
00:25:07.000 I'm taking off all my shit.
00:25:09.000 Some Muslim is giving me shit about my belt.
00:25:11.000 I'm taking off my belt, going back outside.
00:25:15.000 So that's Muslims fucking up my day to day.
00:25:18.000 Then I fart and there's no shit smell.
00:25:21.000 It's cobalt because either my nose is broken or my ass is broken.
00:25:25.000 Something's wrong with my body because of COVID.
00:25:27.000 So that's China.
00:25:29.000 That's the communists.
00:25:31.000 So China is affecting my day-to-day.
00:25:34.000 Muslims affected my day-to-day.
00:25:37.000 Radical leftists affect my day-to-day.
00:25:39.000 They put signs on my neighbor's lawn.
00:25:40.000 They terrorize my children and stuff.
00:25:42.000 So all these groups are fucking up me personally, and it's the same for most Americans.
00:25:47.000 You talk to the average Joe, and you're like, how was your day today?
00:25:52.000 Well, COVID fucked me over.
00:25:53.000 I got doxxed at work.
00:25:55.000 The mandate's fucking me over.
00:25:57.000 So we have these enemies that affect us on a day-to-day basis.
00:26:01.000 On a Thursday, whatever we are today, 2, 24, 22.
00:26:05.000 Yep.
00:26:08.000 These people are fucking up our day today.
00:26:11.000 Yet, what is the news consumed with?
00:26:14.000 Nick Fuentes.
00:26:16.000 Yeah, he's fucking up my life.
00:26:19.000 Some skinny dude with long fingers who has controversial opinions about nationalism is wrecking the world.
00:26:27.000 Let's make it unable for him to fly.
00:26:29.000 Muslims can fly, even though 100% of air terrorism is Muslim.
00:26:37.000 But we don't want to stereotype a group, but Nick Fuentes can't fly.
00:26:40.000 He's still on the no-fly list?
00:26:42.000 Yeah, dude.
00:26:44.000 So we have to save Bryce and Gray, save John Miller, save... like in his lyrics, he's got SOS in here.
00:26:50.000 Spotify to ban my songs.
00:26:54.000 So, S. I never thought of that.
00:26:56.000 Bryce and Gray is...
00:27:00.000 He's been held captive.
00:27:01.000 Why don't these dumbass fucking leftist journalists interview black people who go to white nationalist conferences?
00:27:09.000 If they really cared about getting to the truth, they would investigate that.
00:27:14.000 But you know why they don't?
00:27:15.000 Because they know what the truth is.
00:27:16.000 And the truth is that their crusade is completely full of shit.
00:27:21.000 Anyway, before we start taking calls, we should discuss Ukraine.
00:27:27.000 And get rid of the freeloaders.
00:27:29.000 No, no, no.
00:27:30.000 I want to get some Ukraine into the free show, but I thought who better to ask about Ukraine than our number one source of information for all things foreign policy, ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Ketsu Rivera!
00:28:05.000 Ryguy, what should we do?
00:28:07.000 Sanctions, what do you think?
00:28:09.000 Well, interesting.
00:28:10.000 I mean, the sanctions, they've affected the inflation, they've turned the Russian dollar into kaput.
00:28:17.000 Wait, we've already done the sanctions?
00:28:18.000 We've already imposed sanctions on Russia?
00:28:20.000 Well, I think the imminence of the sanctions already has affected the dollar.
00:28:24.000 Oh, the simply threatening sanctions.
00:28:26.000 Yes.
00:28:27.000 So now, if we take them off of this,
00:28:30.000 I think it's called SWISH, SWIFT, the SWIFT pay, then that could have bad consequences.
00:28:36.000 I think that might already have been, Putin might have already expected that would happen.
00:28:42.000 Uh-huh.
00:28:44.000 But yeah, that could be seen as a, because he made it pretty vague, anybody who tries to interfere with his Ukraine operation.
00:28:55.000 That will be like an act of war, essentially, and we'll have to pay for it in ways that we've never seen before.
00:29:01.000 Okay, so you're... Ryan's solution, not sending our boys over there, but banking sanctions.
00:29:10.000 Well, sending our boys over there, I don't know if that's personally... I don't think it's a good idea.
00:29:15.000 Okay.
00:29:16.000 But it's the sanctions.
00:29:18.000 Sanctions is the way to go.
00:29:21.000 Yeah, I mean, it'll stop.
00:29:23.000 So we kick the Russians out of the World Bank.
00:29:26.000 Get the fuck out.
00:29:27.000 You're not part of the global economy anymore.
00:29:31.000 That could have repercussions.
00:29:32.000 Now he has nothing to lose.
00:29:33.000 Now, if he acquires some of the some of the resources from Ukraine, he's not going to be able to liquefy all of that.
00:29:40.000 What about the part where Germany, some childless communist cunt named Angela Merkel,
00:29:49.000 Killed all of their ability to make their own energy.
00:29:53.000 She's against nuclear energy, of course, unlike France.
00:29:55.000 She doesn't buy from us.
00:29:57.000 So she was left with wind and solar, which means you don't have any power, so she got it all from Russia.
00:30:03.000 So when we talk about global sanctions, Merkel goes, no, don't you dare.
00:30:07.000 There's a lot of people that rely on them.
00:30:09.000 Because if you fuck with Russia, you fuck with Germany, because we're totally, 50% of Germany's energy
00:30:17.000 It hurts us too.
00:30:22.000 We get 100,000 barrels around a day from Russia.
00:30:26.000 So they would stop exporting it because they would stop being able to, if they're off the SWIFT pay and stuff.
00:30:32.000 I don't know.
00:30:49.000 Looks like we're going to be hurting in the old oil price a ruse.
00:30:52.000 Now, they have imposed the sanctions.
00:30:54.000 They've cancelled five banks, I think, or they stopped five banks from letting the oligarchs in Russia, the people around Putin, like some of the rich elites, from accessing anything from their accounts.
00:31:06.000 So, it's hurting people in this country, and he's a very idealistic
00:31:11.000 Guy, right?
00:31:13.000 Ideological guy.
00:31:14.000 So his people, if they're upset, and they are, they've arrested I think 1,700 protesters.
00:31:18.000 A lot of protesters over there.
00:31:20.000 So if he's seeing that much resistance against this land grab, then that might be the thing
00:31:30.000 to make him change course.
00:31:32.000 But he feels a right to Ukraine.
00:31:34.000 I mean, he feels that NATO, Ukraine being a part of NATO, that's an existential threat, similar to how the Bay of Pigs, you know, Cuba having missiles was an existential threat to us.
00:31:47.000 So he kind of has a point.
00:31:49.000 I'm not sure why I lie in this whole thing.
00:31:51.000 I'm learning a lot of this today, but I'm very interested in what's going on over there.
00:31:54.000 Well, we started this bit to make fun of how stupid you are.
00:31:57.000 But I think what happened was we attacked the Puerto Rican half and the Japanese half retaliated.
00:32:02.000 I'll take over.
00:32:03.000 Like Pearl Harbor.
00:32:04.000 Right.
00:32:04.000 And I think you're right.
00:32:06.000 I think the solution is that we open up our fuel lines.
00:32:10.000 We open up our ability to generate fuel.
00:32:14.000 And then not everyone is so beholden to Putin.
00:32:18.000 Frack!
00:32:20.000 Fucking open up Keystone.
00:32:22.000 Make our own fuel.
00:32:23.000 Taiwan is the real thing that's going on.
00:32:26.000 Build the XL.
00:32:27.000 The one you shut down first day in office.
00:32:30.000 What?
00:32:31.000 The XL pipeline.
00:32:33.000 Yeah.
00:32:34.000 It's retarded to... Ultimately, I don't like America looking weak, but I don't care about Taiwan or Ukraine.
00:32:40.000 You can have them.
00:32:43.000 Sorry, you live next to MS-13.
00:32:46.000 Your house is gonna get fucked with.
00:32:47.000 It's not my job to protect you.
00:32:49.000 I apologize.
00:32:50.000 Buh-bye.
00:32:51.000 I don't give a shit.
00:32:52.000 You can show all the pictures of, like, dying old ladies on Daily Mail UK you want.
00:32:57.000 You can show me pictures of children crying out in pain.
00:33:00.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:33:02.000 Sorry.
00:33:02.000 Die, bitches.
00:33:03.000 I happen to.
00:33:05.000 I think, even though they're just white people, I think the fact that just civilians are being hurt is probably a pretty big deal, but we can't be the world police for, you know.
00:33:13.000 I don't care about anything outside the Western world.
00:33:15.000 And even then, I start with America and do concentric circles outwards.
00:33:20.000 The whole argument was that the Ukraine was kind of leaning towards Western values and that's what got Putin to be like, what the F, because he has like puppet regimes in there and stuff.
00:33:29.000 He probably wants to create another puppet regime.
00:33:31.000 But you know, Zelensky is not innocent in this whole thing.
00:33:33.000 He's been, all the shady shit and the corruption happens over there with Burisma and then there was some other bullshit over there.
00:33:41.000 But so there is corruption and I think they're like really backed by Israel.
00:33:45.000 Okay, boring.
00:33:46.000 Let's take some calls.
00:33:47.000 All right.
00:33:48.000 Do we say bye to everybody?
00:33:50.000 Bye?
00:33:51.000 No, let's take maybe a couple calls and then we'll say bye to everybody.
00:33:54.000 Let's open up the Super Chat.
00:33:56.000 You do the thanks for calling intro and I'll go get my Macputer.
00:34:00.000 Sweet.
00:34:00.000 That's what my kids called it when they were young.
00:34:19.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:22.000 So true.
00:34:22.000 I mean, we do say bye, don't we?
00:34:25.000 I guess I gotta turn on this Rode mic.
00:34:28.000 We say goodbye in plenty of ways.
00:34:30.000 We say... I said goodbye!
00:34:32.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:33.000 Is Trump gonna run in 2024?
00:34:34.000 I hope so.
00:34:38.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:38.000 Bye, everybody!
00:34:40.000 Dude, just for the comedy, I miss the laughs.
00:34:45.000 You know what I miss?
00:34:47.000 I just posted this on my story today.
00:34:50.000 Look at this.
00:34:51.000 Look at this Biden.
00:34:55.000 That's me ripped.
00:34:57.000 Look at this.
00:34:58.000 How beautiful.
00:34:59.000 It's been a long time.
00:35:02.000 Long time.
00:35:05.000 Mariana Rivera?
00:35:06.000 Yep.
00:35:07.000 Amazing, right?
00:35:10.000 Amazing.
00:35:11.000 That's a lame clip, dude.
00:35:14.000 Look how nice and simple that was, though.
00:35:16.000 Just the good old days.
00:35:17.000 Remember Fauci's throat?
00:35:18.000 Yeah.
00:35:20.000 Trump had a beautiful throat.
00:35:21.000 Trump fucking barreled it in.
00:35:23.000 Dude.
00:35:24.000 I saw some meme where they, I think Donald Trump Jr.
00:35:28.000 put it out where he goes, I miss the way he said China.
00:35:32.000 China.
00:35:32.000 China.
00:35:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:35.000 Okay, so you need to turn your mic on.
00:35:36.000 You got your mic on there, Gav?
00:35:37.000 My mic's on.
00:35:38.000 All right.
00:35:38.000 We have a call about marriage.
00:35:40.000 A good topic here.
00:35:42.000 Hey, Gavin.
00:35:43.000 Uhuru.
00:35:44.000 Uhuru.
00:35:46.000 Hey, so I've been dating this girl for a while.
00:35:48.000 Things are getting kind of serious.
00:35:50.000 I bought a ring.
00:35:51.000 Getting ready to propose to her.
00:35:53.000 Just want to know what you think the best way or the most classy way is to propose to a woman.
00:35:58.000 How long you been dating?
00:35:59.000 Over a year.
00:36:02.000 All right.
00:36:03.000 How old are you?
00:36:05.000 I'm 25.
00:36:05.000 She's 29.
00:36:07.000 Dump her ass.
00:36:07.000 She's old as shit.
00:36:08.000 Just starting anew.
00:36:12.000 Well why do you say it like that?
00:36:13.000 She's disgusting.
00:36:14.000 I would ghost her, go away on vacation, don't answer her calls.
00:36:19.000 No, my advice with proposing is try to bring in a thing that you guys have in common.
00:36:27.000 Like my wife was obsessed with Paris.
00:36:30.000 So we went to the Eiffel Tower.
00:36:34.000 I hired a little street urchin to hand her a crumpled up plastic bag, a paper bag.
00:36:39.000 J'ai un petit cadeau pour vous, madame.
00:36:41.000 She opens it up.
00:36:42.000 The ring is in there.
00:36:43.000 Will you marry me?
00:36:44.000 Oh my God.
00:36:45.000 Fucking wet as a pack of slits.
00:36:48.000 Homeboy got it that night.
00:36:52.000 There you go.
00:36:54.000 But like, I don't know, like say you guys have a place you like to visit.
00:36:59.000 You hide the ring in one of the rocks or something and then you pull it out and will you marry me?
00:37:04.000 I told one dude I said
00:37:07.000 You're going to Ireland, her grandparents are there, go to her grandparents grave, cemetery, and then when you're there say, isn't it weird how your grandparents met, and then they made your mom, and then your mom met a guy, and then she made you, and here we are, you know, perpetuating this thing, and we're alive because of these people, chance meetings, making these commitments, and then he pulled out the ring and he got down on one knee and he said, will you marry me now?
00:37:35.000 And she said no.
00:37:39.000 She said, uh, I'm too young.
00:37:43.000 And then they continued their trip, but they slept in different beds.
00:37:47.000 Very awkward.
00:37:49.000 And she cried herself to sleep every night.
00:37:52.000 She did or he did?
00:37:54.000 He did.
00:37:54.000 I go, why didn't you just leave?
00:37:56.000 And he's like, we spent a bunch of money on the trip.
00:37:58.000 I don't know.
00:38:00.000 So, uh, I'm not an expert, but, uh, you know, you can feel it out.
00:38:05.000 You got to ask your dad for permission and make sure he's, uh, he can keep his mouth shut.
00:38:10.000 But, um, I would, I would choose something that's special to you.
00:38:14.000 Cause you're going to be talking about this for the rest of your lives.
00:38:18.000 So try to make it something cool.
00:38:21.000 You know, Albert Hammond Jr.
00:38:23.000 proposed to a girl when he was shit-faced, and it fell out of his hand and into a dog bowl, and it took him about five minutes to find it.
00:38:33.000 DJ Tiga, a friend of mine, finally got the courage when he was drunk in the middle of the night, he had threadbare underwear on, and he pulled it out of a FedEx package and gave it to her.
00:38:45.000 So, you can blow this, but
00:38:49.000 I don't know.
00:38:50.000 Be creative.
00:38:50.000 Do something that involves your relationship.
00:38:54.000 And then fuck her.
00:38:55.000 Cool, man.
00:38:56.000 Bye.
00:38:57.000 That guy's getting laid.
00:39:00.000 The best thing about proposing?
00:39:01.000 You get pussy that night!
00:39:04.000 Yeah!
00:39:09.000 You would hope so.
00:39:11.000 I never trust these no videos.
00:39:17.000 Did she say no or yes?
00:39:19.000 Couldn't tell.
00:39:20.000 These are supposed to be good ones.
00:39:22.000 These will make your heart burst.
00:39:23.000 That one was kind of like, okay.
00:39:26.000 These are just regular proposals.
00:39:28.000 Fall.
00:39:28.000 Fall.
00:39:29.000 Yeah, I was gonna say, man, she falls over the fucking string.
00:39:32.000 Don't marry her, she's fat.
00:39:34.000 What are you doing?
00:39:36.000 Her legs show promise.
00:39:37.000 She doesn't deserve to be loved.
00:39:41.000 That's right.
00:39:45.000 She's blindfolded.
00:39:46.000 Oh, she's gonna push it out of her ass?
00:39:47.000 I think so, yeah.
00:39:49.000 It'll shoot out of her ass onto a finger.
00:39:52.000 Oh, he's gonna pull her ring out of her ass.
00:39:54.000 I don't know if other people should be there.
00:39:58.000 Yeah, no, no, no.
00:39:58.000 It's a very personal, private thing.
00:40:00.000 Yeah.
00:40:01.000 Even filming it is suspect.
00:40:03.000 And she may feel pressured.
00:40:04.000 Yeah, it trivializes the whole thing, doesn't it?
00:40:08.000 Um, we have another one about- Let's do one more call, and then we'll read one letter, and then we'll fuckin' tell these fuckers to- Phone tag?
00:40:13.000 Hey, Mark, you on the line, dawg?
00:40:15.000 With your noisy-ass submarine phone?
00:40:21.000 Go ahead, Mark.
00:40:22.000 Yo, dawg.
00:40:22.000 What's up, dude?
00:40:23.000 What's up?
00:40:26.000 Yo, so, uh, earlier today I was, uh, I was happier than a pig in shit when I saw your episode of, uh, Tinfoil Hat with Sam Tripoli.
00:40:37.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.
00:40:39.000 Yeah, I really liked it.
00:40:42.000 Yeah, I got really excited when you started talking really conspiracy theory-ish towards the end there.
00:40:51.000 Getting really excited.
00:40:52.000 You sound horny.
00:40:55.000 You are horny.
00:40:56.000 Are you beating off right now, sir?
00:41:00.000 No, but anyway, yeah, I wanted to real quick talk about Ukraine because I saw that
00:41:07.000 Right before, like about an hour ago, they started to announce the gas prices are going to go up.
00:41:13.000 You know, it's like, it's so convenient.
00:41:14.000 What the fuck does that have to do with, you know, being invaded and stuff?
00:41:19.000 It's just, it's ridiculous.
00:41:21.000 Yeah.
00:41:21.000 Cause the gas prices have been great for the past year.
00:41:26.000 They've been rock bottom.
00:41:28.000 It's not like I turn white as a ghost while I watch those numbers go.
00:41:33.000 We're just keep going even higher it's just like you know it's so convenient that they just oh hey let's uh Ukraine's been invaded yeah let's that has to do with the oil supply let's let's crank that up a little bit it's it's all bullshit yeah and I don't understand why all these people are like yeah I get it they don't want to have like war but
00:41:50.000 All these people on Facebook are putting these Ukrainian flags over their profiles and stuff.
00:41:56.000 It's like, dude, you don't give a fuck.
00:41:58.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:41:59.000 Kill them all.
00:42:00.000 Kill them all like God sort them out.
00:42:01.000 Here at Censored, we support Russia, like Josh LaCash.
00:42:04.000 I don't care about Russia either.
00:42:06.000 It's like Henry Kissinger said about the Iran-Iraq War.
00:42:09.000 Can't they both lose?
00:42:11.000 Bye.
00:42:13.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.
00:42:14.000 All right, let's take a letter.
00:42:17.000 This is from Bill, and he says Gavin.
00:42:20.000 Why didn't you laugh?
00:42:23.000 When you were showing that heinous old English woman's garbage reggae Oops reggae rap song it's not a reggae rap song
00:42:35.000 Ryan dropped a zinger and neither Gavin nor Maddie laughed.
00:42:38.000 Good grammar.
00:42:39.000 He said, she's Rebecca Blacked.
00:42:42.000 Yes.
00:42:43.000 Come on, dudes.
00:42:43.000 That made me fart.
00:42:44.000 It was so funny.
00:42:45.000 Thank you.
00:42:46.000 I confess, I missed that joke.
00:42:48.000 I thought he said Rebecca Black.
00:42:50.000 I thought he just said Rebecca Black.
00:42:52.000 Yeah, I didn't hear that.
00:42:52.000 I thought that thought in my head myself.
00:42:54.000 I didn't hear the E.D.
00:42:56.000 Do you promise you had an E.D.
00:42:59.000 there, Ryan?
00:43:00.000 I did.
00:43:00.000 I had E.D.
00:43:01.000 I couldn't get the joke up.
00:43:04.000 Whoa, that was also good in the response.
00:43:06.000 Okay, let's not underestimate this.
00:43:09.000 This is the underestimating Ryan episode.
00:43:11.000 The redemption arc ep that we've all been waiting for.
00:43:15.000 Okay, last one before we go behind the paywall.
00:43:18.000 Dear Mr. McInnis, the thought has been lurking in my mind for weeks.
00:43:20.000 You're the only person who's ever described prison to me.
00:43:23.000 I've never been and hopefully never will, but you're the only person I've found who ever talks about prison life.
00:43:28.000 Well, I know 0.001 about it, but Matty O'Dell here knows quite a bit about it.
00:43:39.000 Spent some time there.
00:43:40.000 Well, you did four hours.
00:43:41.000 I did do four hours.
00:43:44.000 Yeah.
00:43:44.000 That was jail though.
00:43:46.000 That was jail.
00:43:49.000 I told you, I mentioned this the other night, Max lost all his early time because he got in a fight, but he can't tell us about it because he can't discuss it on JPay or on the phone or anything.
00:43:58.000 So who knows what the fuck happened, but he claims angels were following him.
00:44:03.000 What do you think, speaking of prison, what do you think about this, like work at the cafeteria for a year and a half to get six months off early?
00:44:11.000 Well, everyone has to work in prison.
00:44:14.000 Everyone has to have a job.
00:44:15.000 You have to have a job?
00:44:16.000 Yeah.
00:44:17.000 I mean, there are no-show jobs in prison, too.
00:44:20.000 Really?
00:44:21.000 Yeah.
00:44:21.000 Well, in the federal system, you would get a job like what they call PM Compound.
00:44:29.000 And they would just go down and check in with their boss and just go about whatever they were going to do.
00:44:33.000 But they got paid 98 cents a month.
00:44:39.000 98 cents a month.
00:44:41.000 I want a raise.
00:44:42.000 I want a dollar a month.
00:44:44.000 You can't even make a collect call with that.
00:44:46.000 AM compound like that you would have some guys walk around the rec yard and they clean up.
00:44:53.000 They got this little broom and a dustpan on a stick.
00:44:58.000 We used to call it a Cadillac in prison.
00:45:00.000 Maybe jail's different because there's a mobster at my gym who went to jail for a no-show job in real life.
00:45:07.000 And then the CO was saying, you should get a job here, make the time go faster.
00:45:11.000 And then he said, hey, I didn't fucking work out there, why would I work in here?
00:45:15.000 Yeah.
00:45:15.000 I mean, jail sucks because, I mean, I guess it would give you a little bit more movement.
00:45:20.000 Like usually in jail, you just stay in your block because you're an unsentenced inmate.
00:45:26.000 Well, I would say the reason that I humanize prisoners is because we all assume that it's the cops and the robbers, you know, juvenile view of the world where bad guys are in prison and good guys are not in prison.
00:45:40.000 But that's not the case.
00:45:41.000 Especially in an America where everything is illegal.
00:45:45.000 You've probably done three felonies this week and not even known it.
00:45:50.000 So if the state is out to get you, you could end up in there.
00:45:53.000 Mercedes Carrera did not molest her daughter.
00:45:56.000 She is in jail right now because she was pro-MAGA.
00:46:00.000 She's sexy and popular and charming and that was bad for the Dems.
00:46:04.000 So coincidentally, they found a horrible crime to ruin her life.
00:46:08.000 Max and John got into a 17-second fight and they threw her away.
00:46:13.000 They threw the book at them four years in prison because it was good for the Dems.
00:46:19.000 Maddie O'Dell!
00:46:20.000 They were told to crack down on gangs.
00:46:22.000 They couldn't get into MS-13.
00:46:24.000 So they went after white gangs like the Hells Angels.
00:46:28.000 They spent how much on you?
00:46:31.000 Two million dollars.
00:46:32.000 Two million dollars.
00:46:33.000 You need a scalp at that point.
00:46:34.000 I need a scalp.
00:46:36.000 OK, well, Matty had a gun at one point in a state that isn't gun friendly and he gave it.
00:46:41.000 Where's the gun?
00:46:42.000 I don't have it.
00:46:43.000 OK, just throw him in fucking jail.
00:46:45.000 We got to get we got to get moving here.
00:46:46.000 Good stuff.
00:46:50.000 Good stuff.
00:46:51.000 OK, super chat before we leave.
00:46:53.000 Someone sends in.
00:46:54.000 It's pretty simple.
00:46:56.000 It's America first, bitch.
00:46:58.000 Now, this is why I'm a grammar Nazi, because you look like a fucking imbecile, Bruce.
00:47:05.000 When you say it's America first, bitch.
00:47:07.000 You're hurting the movement.
00:47:10.000 We're not asking you to use the semicolons and fucking Oxford commas every time you walk out your front door, but it's America First, bitch.
00:47:20.000 Sounds like I'm an America First, bitch.
00:47:23.000 Like I'm a loser slut who follows around America First like a whore.
00:47:27.000 America First, by the way, as we learned in the Louis Theroux documentary, has made this mistake themselves on their stickers.
00:47:35.000 The proper phraseology is, America first, comma, bitch.
00:47:43.000 Okay?
00:47:44.000 It's America first, comma, bitch, or else you're an America first, bitch.
00:47:51.000 The commas exist for a reason.
00:47:53.000 English is the easiest language there is to use, conduct, have the language at your disposal.
00:48:01.000 Okay?
00:48:01.000 Put a fucking comma after America first, you fucking idiot.
00:48:05.000 And on that note, let's go behind the paywall and we will continue to enjoy our contributors and criticize them when they're wrong.
00:48:15.000 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for enjoying this free episode of Get Off My Lawn.
00:48:21.000 Tomorrow we'll be at AFPAC investigating the evils of racism, but on the show we'll have Maddie's debut of Maddie's Shitty Kitchen.
00:48:30.000 We will have a TGMS episode number two, and we'll have the Sam Tripoli episode that they were just talking about, as well as, of course, the lovely Wayne Dupree and a myriad of other free, I mean, sorry, post-paywall content.
00:48:47.000 Not a very good ending.
00:48:48.000 But until next time, cheapskates, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:48:58.000 Mr. Dr. Munn, you have to bring home your medication.
00:49:02.000 Can you give me some of your low potion?
00:49:04.000 Give me the injection for your nylon.
00:49:07.000 Emergency, Mr. Dr. Munn, you have to bring home your medication.
00:49:12.000 Can you give me some of your low potion?
00:49:14.000 Give me the injection for your nylon.
00:49:16.000 She call emergency, accident or a fit.
00:49:19.000 Apparition run out of the bone marrow split.
00:49:21.000 She reach observation, she show it millions.