Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #138 - INTRODUCING SYL

00:00:02.000 This is the love that I give to you alone More than the simple words I try to say I only live to love you more each day More than you ever know my arms long to hold you so my life will be in your keeping Waking,

00:00:31.000 sleeping, laughing, weeping Longer than always is a long long time But far beyond forever you'll be mine I know I never lived before And my heart is very sure No one else could love you more than the greatest

00:01:31.000 be in your keeping Waking, sleeping, laughing, weeping Longer than always is a long time But far beyond forever you'll be mine I know I never lived before And my heart is very sure No one else could low you

00:03:06.000 on the sidewalk You can tell the past boy I can tell the future Give me lobotomy and I can be a tutor Open up the blast doors then we can be muted I can smell your fingerprints all over my computer So give me all the black, 0.86

00:03:27.000 brown, sticky sugar water Swing you buy your neck of my mouth, this can be your future Something very strange about your picture in the mirror When you move it doesn't move, now how could that be weird?

00:03:38.000 Just keep on rubbernecking at whatever feels familiar I can set my brain on a holiday forever You can fire a rocket out of rocket, it's the future If you weren't already dead, I wouldn't have to school ya You say whenever I'm fine Down

00:04:09.000 in my beach heart Whenever I'm fine Open my charge to the plain cloth officer behind us What are you a master of disguising deep and silent?

00:04:20.000 Drop another depth charge, calling like a viper Eyes so close together, make it harder for the sniper Shoot the starving porno for the uppies in a circle Second death upon you swimming backwards like a turtle Man, I really trusted you, I thought you were civilian I could shove a magnet in your mouth and make a million Did you pack your bag or did somebody pack it for you?

00:04:41.000 Take me to the sad, sad party that you're bound to Whether you're I have, not or I have, I got a question Are you living, dead or is it some kind of possession?

00:04:58.000 I can't.

00:05:05.000 Ah, that's what I'm talking about.

00:05:11.000 I don't think I know why.

00:05:16.000 It doesn't feel you're a lion.

00:05:22.000 Mikey! 0.65

00:05:27.000 Mike! 0.69

00:05:33.000 Boom! 0.99

00:05:33.000 These explosions of bullshit! 0.99

00:05:40.000 But it sounds like that's some fucking commie gobbledygook.

00:05:51.000 Jesus Christ, Mister, you okay in there?

00:06:16.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:06:21.000 Down in my peace, I do my whenever I'm open my heart down in my peace.

00:06:28.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

00:07:00.000 Disconnected from the world again.

00:07:05.000 Hello, this cramming into every port.

00:07:16.000 I skill the blisters in the sun.

00:07:19.000 What's that?

00:07:19.000 Say that again.

00:07:23.000 Jesus Christ.

00:07:28.000 That is a very unfortunate situation.

00:07:34.000 Don't be a cutie pie, okay?

00:07:56.000 You sound very gay. 0.98

00:07:58.000 You're going to race.

00:08:01.000 Get him out of here, get out.

00:08:08.000 You're going to race.

00:08:12.000 Don't make an opportunity now.

00:08:17.000 So I'm a lining in the pitch.

00:08:18.000 Shutting my lips over my teeth.

00:08:22.000 I thought your eyes are bulging out.

00:09:09.000 You got a lot of stealing steel.

00:09:13.000 Otherwise, live from New York.

00:09:19.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:09:44.000 Hello, America and the rest of the Western world.

00:09:47.000 I'm sure there's a few holdouts in the Eastern world.

00:09:50.000 Japan.

00:09:51.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:09:53.000 Welcome back, Maddie O'Dell, the co-host with the most.

00:09:58.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:09:59.000 Good to see you.

00:10:00.000 The star of Maddie's Shitty Kitchen, which is a raging hit.

00:10:03.000 Thank you.

00:10:04.000 Glad I'm not well.

00:10:05.000 Of course, Ryan Katsu Rivera, aka the putz.

00:10:10.000 That's right.

00:10:11.000 As you know, the way this show goes is we are live and free for the first half hour.

00:10:18.000 Then we go behind a paywall.

00:10:21.000 The reason we're free is because sponsors pay for the first half hour.

00:10:25.000 Sponsors like Tactical Walls, a veteran-owned Tactical Walls.

00:10:31.000 Go to tacticalwalls.com for the best products in America.

00:10:34.000 Use the promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.

00:10:39.000 TacticalWalls.com.

00:10:40.000 You know, it's funny, reading this copy, it used to be like a paragraph and a half of like, we rock and he's a veteran and, you know, don't fucking fuck you with my heels on.

00:10:50.000 All this fun stuff that he would use inside jokes.

00:10:52.000 And I kept ridiculing the copywriter until I broke him.

00:10:57.000 Gavin 15 also works as a promo code.

00:10:59.000 And now it just says in brackets, say whatever you want.

00:11:03.000 Yeah.

00:11:04.000 And I can't even help but make fun of that.

00:11:07.000 Dude, whatever is one word.

00:11:10.000 So you wrote, say whatever you want.

00:11:14.000 So I'm even making fun of you quitting your job as a copywriter.

00:11:18.000 You're fucking that up.

00:11:19.000 Promo code Gavin15, Gavin, Maude Wall, look at this shit. 1.00

00:11:24.000 Show off your guns, enjoy yourself.

00:11:27.000 We're currently at 100% veteran-owned sponsors on Get Off My Lawn.

00:11:34.000 Not one of our sponsors is not veteran-owned.

00:11:37.000 You know why?

00:11:38.000 Because when you support a slightly controversial show like this, you get attacked by the mob.

00:11:44.000 And when veterans get attacked, they act the way we all used to act in the 80s, which is what?

00:11:51.000 Oh, you got a problem with them?

00:11:53.000 Fuck off.

00:11:55.000 As opposed to now where they go, I'm sorry, we'll take care of it.

00:11:59.000 It won't happen again.

00:12:01.000 So most cool people live in areas that are not in the South Bronx where you can have a gun.

00:12:09.000 And we don't live there.

00:12:11.000 So on our tactical walls, we have brick-a-brack, some mugs, we've got E.T. That's a statue my wife gave me with the fingers crossed and it says, please be a fart.

00:12:24.000 And I was just saying earlier, since COVID fried my guts, my farts don't smell like shit anymore.

00:12:32.000 So I fart with reckless abandon.

00:12:34.000 I was at the gym earlier, I brought the kids to boxing, and I'm surrounded by Mexican gentlemen.

00:12:40.000 Jalapeno was there, and I'm just farting.

00:12:44.000 Now, normally, you would let a fart like that go, and people go, what the fuck, dude?

00:12:49.000 What's the matter with you?

00:12:52.000 But because it smells like a burnt match, people just go, oh, I guess there was like fireworks here yesterday.

00:12:59.000 It's kind of a gift.

00:13:04.000 Yeah, I'm jealous I'm not full cobalt.

00:13:06.000 You're not full cobalt?

00:13:08.000 No.

00:13:08.000 My wife says my shit still like smells like shit, but also cobalt.

00:13:12.000 Or weird.

00:13:14.000 Dude, I was mentioning on Anthony's show, people call me a pussy for this.

00:13:18.000 Tell me if this is a pussy, okay? 1.00

00:13:20.000 It's the drop-down bar, whatever you call that.

00:13:23.000 105 pounds, 20, then 20.

00:13:28.000 You're sitting on a chair and you're pulling it to your chest, then 20.

00:13:33.000 And then 95 bar, 20 shrugs, and then 20 of these.

00:13:42.000 All of that three times.

00:13:44.000 How much weight are the these?

00:13:46.000 Is it a bar?

00:13:47.000 100 dumbbells.

00:13:48.000 95.

00:13:49.000 Whoa.

00:13:50.000 Oh, 95 is a bar.

00:13:52.000 No, the bar.

00:13:52.000 The bar and the weight is 95.

00:13:54.000 Gotcha.

00:13:55.000 The pull down, and I can't even lift my arms up.

00:13:58.000 The pull down is...

00:13:59.000 That was 105.

00:14:01.000 Oh, the lat pull down where you're sitting down, you pull the bar down.

00:14:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:04.000 Lat pull down. 0.99

00:14:05.000 Yeah, the V. It's kind of gay to know all the names, Ryan. 1.00

00:14:09.000 Well, that's.

00:14:10.000 I mean, putts.

00:14:10.000 I don't know all the names.

00:14:12.000 Yeah, the lats.

00:14:13.000 I got a good spread nowadays, but.

00:14:15.000 Yeah, let me see your spread. 1.00

00:14:18.000 What do you mean?

00:14:19.000 Well, it's hard to describe how to do it, but basically you would go like...

00:14:23.000 It's known as your wings.

00:14:24.000 Your wings.

00:14:25.000 See these?

00:14:26.000 Oh, these?

00:14:27.000 It's weird to do, but you could easily raise your arms and not engage them, but to let the curtain go out, you have to roll your arms forward.

00:14:36.000 Okay, you want to play hardball?

00:14:37.000 Yeah.

00:14:38.000 I'll show you my wings.

00:14:39.000 They're fucking basically bat wings.

00:14:42.000 No, no, no.

00:14:43.000 See what you're doing.

00:14:44.000 I'm Alex Jones.

00:14:45.000 I've turned into Alex Jones.

00:14:46.000 Like this.

00:14:46.000 You have to relax your.

00:14:49.000 You have to relax your arms.

00:14:51.000 You're not like tensing your arms.

00:14:53.000 Okay, I'm relaxed.

00:14:53.000 You're just rolling.

00:14:54.000 Now you put your arms down.

00:14:56.000 And now out to the side.

00:14:59.000 Like, yeah.

00:15:00.000 And now try to push these things forward.

00:15:04.000 Like, kind of rock your...

00:15:06.000 Like, point this part of your elbow forward.

00:15:09.000 That was your shoulder.

00:15:10.000 Okay.

00:15:11.000 Kind of.

00:15:11.000 Okay, so do that until you could feel these like this meat.

00:15:16.000 Until you feel this meat coming forward.

00:15:18.000 This is tedious.

00:15:19.000 This is tedious.

00:15:21.000 It's really not easy to do unless they're like totally big.

00:15:24.000 You know, I feel like it's a waste to be standing here and being this sexy without a chick, a groupie by myself.

00:15:34.000 Let's get some fucking bitches in here. 1.00

00:15:36.000 Let's get some groupies.

00:15:37.000 Do you have any girls you could call on?

00:15:40.000 I do.

00:15:41.000 Shall we get some chicks up in this bitch? 1.00

00:15:43.000 Hell yeah.

00:15:44.000 All right, let's do it.

00:16:20.000 Yeah, the last one.

00:16:22.000 Dancing down.

00:16:24.000 Sunshine's drip.

00:16:28.000 I don't want to.

00:16:29.000 You don't want that?

00:16:30.000 I don't want to knock it down.

00:16:31.000 It's garbage.

00:16:33.000 It doesn't really exist.

00:16:39.000 Okay, I'm good.

00:16:40.000 And you can lean on these TVs.

00:16:44.000 This is Syl.

00:16:46.000 You may recognize her as the doctor from Futurama.

00:16:50.000 The mad woman of the South Bronx, mother rocker. 0.97

00:16:55.000 She's a local, born and raised in the South Bronx.

00:16:58.000 We're big fans.

00:17:01.000 Married seven times.

00:17:03.000 Seven is a lucky number.

00:17:06.000 A lot of people of, a lot of BIPOCs.

00:17:09.000 Oh yeah, hell yeah.

00:17:10.000 You had a lot of black indigenous people of color.

00:17:13.000 You had five black husbands? 1.00

00:17:15.000 Yes.

00:17:16.000 One Jew boy and one spicorama. 1.00

00:17:21.000 Spicarama, that's my favorite show.

00:17:24.000 And what would you call your...

00:17:26.000 Are you Jewish, Italian?

00:17:28.000 What are you?

00:17:28.000 I'm a nutjob.

00:17:30.000 Okay.

00:17:31.000 I'm a Jew girl and one quarter Russian and pure Americana.

00:17:37.000 But you're wearing a Christian cross.

00:17:39.000 Well, I converted.

00:17:40.000 Jesus helped me out, so I said, okay, you're my man, Jesus.

00:17:44.000 Nice.

00:17:45.000 How did Jesus help you out?

00:17:47.000 Well, how?

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:52.000 You had lung cancer for a while.

00:17:54.000 He smiled on me and said, I'll show you the right way to be.

00:17:58.000 I said, okay, you're my man.

00:18:00.000 I'll follow you.

00:18:02.000 Okay, so you're Christian?

00:18:04.000 Yeah, with a Jewish culture.

00:18:08.000 I'll die a Jew. 0.99

00:18:09.000 Oh, Jesus came to earth as a Jew. 1.00

00:18:13.000 Okay.

00:18:14.000 He was king of the Jews.

00:18:16.000 What's your religious denomination, Maddie?

00:18:18.000 I was born and raised Roman Catholic.

00:18:21.000 But you didn't get your ashes.

00:18:23.000 No, I did not make it to church yesterday.

00:18:27.000 So you're going to hell in a handbasket.

00:18:29.000 He hasn't gone to church in 20 years.

00:18:31.000 I don't think Ash Wednesday is like a priority.

00:18:34.000 It's not a priority, no.

00:18:35.000 When you burnt down St. Peter's.

00:18:39.000 Could have happened.

00:18:40.000 Was that 15 years ago?

00:18:41.000 Can we still talk about that?

00:18:43.000 I walked in and Walls fell down.

00:18:46.000 Vatican, the Pope is hardened when he hears your name.

00:18:51.000 He locks himself in the bedroom and says, uh-oh.

00:18:54.000 That's it.

00:18:55.000 Here comes crazy Americans. 0.61

00:18:59.000 This is the thing about dudes in bars.

00:19:02.000 Like, you'll have a bar buddy for 10 years, and then you'll go, do you have kids?

00:19:08.000 Or like, what's your job?

00:19:10.000 Yeah.

00:19:11.000 Are you gay?

00:19:13.000 Yeah.

00:19:14.000 Like, how long before we knew D?

00:19:16.000 I won't say his name in case he's watching, but like, I didn't know he was gay until two years of knowing him.

00:19:23.000 He wrapped his tongue down your throat. 0.99

00:19:24.000 You knew he was gay.

00:19:26.000 Whoa.

00:19:28.000 I didn't know he was gay until he came from me fucking him. 1.00

00:19:31.000 Damn, wow.

00:19:32.000 That's like, wow.

00:19:33.000 What kind of fag is enjoying himself like this? 1.00

00:19:36.000 Meantime, his Indian coach will murder him tonight. 1.00

00:19:41.000 Look out, South Bronx.

00:19:42.000 We'll hear them wail and rock.

00:19:45.000 Here comes Stinkabel, the virgin, the only virgin in the USA, the only girl who's a friggin' virgin, and she's not Catholic either. 0.94

00:19:54.000 Syl, you can't see, but Syl is referring to her Chihuahua, who is in the studio.

00:19:59.000 Put her up, put her on the. 1.00

00:20:00.000 Oh, she's in my room.

00:20:02.000 There she goes.

00:20:03.000 Get her set up here. 0.57

00:20:04.000 I have actually a nice little bed.

00:20:07.000 I made for her.

00:20:09.000 Look at this.

00:20:10.000 Oh, she'll like it.

00:20:12.000 She loves all of that.

00:20:12.000 Yeah, it's so max.

00:20:14.000 Well, that's more of a.

00:20:17.000 For her to go to the bathroom on, isn't it?

00:20:19.000 You bit me last time.

00:20:21.000 Come here.

00:20:22.000 She's playing hard to get. 0.90

00:20:24.000 Well, she's mad because I put a dress on her. 1.00

00:20:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:20:27.000 Can you pick her up?

00:20:28.000 I can't go that low.

00:20:30.000 She won't bite you.

00:20:32.000 She bit me before. 0.95

00:20:33.000 No, she won't.

00:20:36.000 She wants to be picked up.

00:20:38.000 Okay?

00:20:39.000 She's good now.

00:20:40.000 I'm like once burnt twice shy.

00:20:43.000 So yeah.

00:20:45.000 What are your religious beliefs, Maddie O'Dell?

00:20:48.000 Like I said, I was born and raised Roman Catholic.

00:20:54.000 I don't know if I...

00:20:56.000 Do you believe in God?

00:20:57.000 Yes.

00:20:58.000 Do you believe you will go to heaven when you die?

00:21:02.000 That's hoping maybe.

00:21:04.000 He's hoping.

00:21:05.000 Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?

00:21:08.000 Yeah, I believe Jesus was the Son of God, you know, the Holy Trinity.

00:21:14.000 What about you?

00:21:15.000 Well, my father told me when I was a wee little girl, there's only one God.

00:21:21.000 Man calls him by many names.

00:21:23.000 And his name is not Budweiser.

00:21:26.000 Well, your dad was wrong.

00:21:29.000 Because Jesus was the king of kings, but Budweiser is the king of beers.

00:21:35.000 Okay.

00:21:37.000 Bravo, Bud.

00:21:39.000 Go, Bud.

00:21:40.000 Forget the Mets and the Knicks.

00:21:42.000 Go, Bud.

00:21:43.000 Screw the Yankees.

00:21:45.000 So we were going to go through Biden's speech the other night.

00:21:50.000 A lot of people said we should have live streamed it.

00:21:52.000 I guess I should be open to that, but I just see like...

00:21:55.000 He's put in a dementia home for nursing home.

00:21:58.000 He's a lame duck.

00:21:59.000 He's Mr. Magoo.

00:22:01.000 What were the highlights?

00:22:02.000 He said, you can surround Kiev with tanks, but you'll never win the heart of Iranians. 1.00

00:22:08.000 Yeah, the hearts and minds of the Iranians.

00:22:10.000 He said, a wall can't keep out the vaccine.

00:22:13.000 I don't know.

00:22:14.000 Oh, he switched on.

00:22:15.000 He said, let's fund the police now.

00:22:18.000 Yeah, but that wasn't a typo, putz.

00:22:20.000 That was typos.

00:22:22.000 Plus, he's a right.

00:22:23.000 And then there was this.

00:22:23.000 Did you see Nancy Pelosi going like this?

00:22:26.000 Yeah, she's an asshole. 1.00

00:22:27.000 Yeah, she's.

00:22:28.000 Her mouth is too big from sucking dick all the time. 1.00

00:22:31.000 Any Republican, she sucked off, so they hate her guts. 0.52

00:22:36.000 She's got fantastic tits, though, for her age. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Yeah, sure.

00:22:40.000 Plastic surgery will do it all the time. 0.73

00:22:42.000 Yeah, fake tits. 1.00

00:22:44.000 Do you wear a bra?

00:22:46.000 I forgot it.

00:22:47.000 Tinker Bell wanted it.

00:22:48.000 We had a fight, and I didn't have time to put on.

00:22:51.000 My tits failed. 0.99

00:22:52.000 When you get old, your ass fail falls, your tits pull. 0.99

00:22:56.000 The only thing that don't fall is your belly button.

00:22:59.000 Gravity.

00:23:00.000 Gravity gets its revenge as you get older.

00:23:02.000 Still active.

00:23:04.000 Right.

00:23:04.000 Would you say you still have a sexual libido, Syl?

00:23:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:23:08.000 I don't know why people think when you're older, you have no sex surge.

00:23:12.000 I've been a passionate sex freak the day I was born.

00:23:19.000 You're a freak.

00:23:20.000 Would you call yourself an American hoe?

00:23:22.000 An American slut? 1.00

00:23:24.000 I'd say more an American called girl slut. 1.00

00:23:30.000 American callgirl slut. 1.00

00:23:32.000 It's far more...

00:23:33.000 Yeah.

00:23:34.000 Have you ever done sex work?

00:23:37.000 Did I get paid for sex?

00:23:38.000 Yeah.

00:23:40.000 It's a different era.

00:23:42.000 No.

00:23:43.000 Did you get paid for sex? 0.78

00:23:45.000 From the time of dawn civilization to now until 10,000 years later, sex... 0.98

00:23:52.000 Look, God gave us three things.

00:23:54.000 Suck oxygen, have the desire to eat, and fuck your brains out.

00:23:59.000 The sexual urge, okay?

00:24:01.000 We all have it.

00:24:02.000 With some, it's more than others.

00:24:04.000 Some are buried.

00:24:05.000 You've got to bring it about.

00:24:07.000 Now, the host of the show and the co-host, they're living sexual examples.

00:24:16.000 And a little Japanese Chinaman, he's a sexual warrior. 0.99

00:24:23.000 No, he's not.

00:24:24.000 Matt and I have fucked hundreds of women. 0.99

00:24:26.000 Ryan's probably plowed like 20.

00:24:30.000 I'm not going to say my number.

00:24:32.000 That's not going to blow up.

00:24:33.000 No, I don't know my number.

00:24:34.000 He's seducing them.

00:24:36.000 This Japanese Chinaman. 0.85

00:24:37.000 You know how the best lovers are supposed to be Japanese men.

00:24:41.000 Really?

00:24:42.000 Yeah.

00:24:42.000 It's like they have to work for it.

00:24:44.000 No.

00:24:45.000 They don't have to work for it.

00:24:46.000 They send in a kamikuzi. 1.00

00:24:49.000 Since we're not gifted.

00:24:51.000 That's how they eat pussy, like kamikazes. 1.00

00:24:53.000 They just go.

00:24:54.000 Yeah.

00:24:58.000 All the girls that Japs eat out, they're like, this is a day that will live in infamy. 1.00

00:25:02.000 And then they commit Harry Carrey, but with their dick, and they impale you with it.

00:25:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:07.000 They whip themselves to death.

00:25:13.000 Are you alright?

00:25:14.000 Yeah.

00:25:14.000 I don't think she feels safe up here.

00:25:17.000 It's all right, baby.

00:25:18.000 Sit on this.

00:25:19.000 Sit on the mats.

00:25:20.000 Did you know there's a baseball strike going on?

00:25:22.000 Yeah, I just found out yesterday.

00:25:24.000 I found out yesterday, too.

00:25:26.000 And people go, you're not a sports fan if you don't know this.

00:25:30.000 Did everyone know this?

00:25:31.000 Sill didn't know this.

00:25:33.000 No.

00:25:33.000 Oh, I know it.

00:25:35.000 The last time I checked, none of those teams were putting money in my bank account.

00:25:40.000 But when the last big baseball strike was the Montreal Expos asking for so much money that they just said, fuck you, and they left.

00:25:49.000 And that was the end of baseball in Montreal forever.

00:25:52.000 The end of the stadium, the end of culture, the end of childhoods, over.

00:25:56.000 Yeah.

00:25:57.000 What are these fuckers, don't they make $10 million a year?

00:26:00.000 Yeah, they do.

00:26:01.000 Some make more than that.

00:26:02.000 Yeah.

00:26:03.000 And they're all retards, too. 1.00

00:26:04.000 It's not like they need a yacht.

00:26:06.000 Their tastes are like fancy steak.

00:26:09.000 Not exactly bright.

00:26:10.000 Cocaine occasionally.

00:26:13.000 And pussy or pussy. 1.00

00:26:14.000 That's not that expensive.

00:26:16.000 No.

00:26:16.000 A million dollars a year.

00:26:17.000 You can do all the Coke and pussy and vacations you could possibly handle. 0.99

00:26:24.000 But you don't get Hillary Clinton's seal of approval.

00:26:29.000 I don't think.

00:26:31.000 What's next?

00:26:32.000 I think she's.

00:26:32.000 So the opening day's been delayed?

00:26:34.000 What the fuck?

00:26:35.000 I think Hillary Clinton is an undercover dyke. 1.00

00:26:38.000 Yeah, there's what you're calling.

00:26:39.000 It's called a walkout.

00:26:41.000 No play.

00:26:42.000 I don't understand all of that.

00:26:44.000 We should do a sports show where we all just try to guess what the fuck is going on.

00:26:47.000 I agree with you, Silt, that Hillary's a dyke. 1.00

00:26:51.000 I think she was fucking Uma Abadin, that hot pachyderm. 1.00

00:26:54.000 She probably was.

00:26:55.000 What's the matter with your eyes?

00:26:58.000 Are you sad because you wanted to fuck Hillary and Huma got her?

00:27:03.000 No, she's not my type. 0.99

00:27:05.000 Now, Bill Clinton's got a loose dick and a loose mouth. 1.00

00:27:08.000 He's fucked so many southern bells that his head is chiming.

00:27:20.000 On that note, we do the live chat here where we raise money for Max Hare and John Kinsman, who got in a 17-second fight with Antifa and are spending four years in prison for it.

00:27:33.000 I have an update on that, actually.

00:27:36.000 So Max and John are in separate prisons, but in both prisons, everyone is getting fucked over with the six months they all worked on to have taken off their sentence.

00:27:49.000 Maddie's more of an expert than me, but my understanding is you go to prison, if you work in the cafeteria, you work here and there, they take six months off your sentence.

00:27:58.000 If you do a year and a half, right?

00:28:01.000 And then you make like, I don't know, six cents an hour or some shit.

00:28:05.000 Yeah, they make...

00:28:06.000 The states are a little different.

00:28:10.000 I think what they call it is an IPA.

00:28:13.000 I can't remember what it means.

00:28:16.000 What the hell is that?

00:28:17.000 I can't remember off the top of my head.

00:28:19.000 But, you know, it's more than the allotted good time.

00:28:23.000 But they got charged with violent crime, so they got to do 85%, which is like 54 days a year good time.

00:28:30.000 But like we used to, in the feds, we would get six months halfway house, which you could get lose and all that shit.

00:28:36.000 But it's called IPA in the state.

00:28:38.000 Yes, that was it.

00:28:39.000 Max said we all lost our IPA.

00:28:42.000 So word on the street is, not from Max Hare, COs, don't punish him from this, but I talked to other people at Governor, Gouverneur, and they just said, yeah, we're canceling all IPAs for the entire prison.

00:28:58.000 We don't care if you've been scrubbing the floors, teaching English, teaching Spanish, fuck you. 1.00

00:29:05.000 So he's sitting around and someone's eating an apple and they're chewing it and then spitting the skin on the ground.

00:29:12.000 And he's like, can you stop doing that?

00:29:14.000 That's disgusting.

00:29:17.000 And the guy's just like, now there's a red button that the CEO pushes to say, eh, eh, inmates are fighting.

00:29:28.000 And our friend may or may not have said to the CO, are you going to push the red button?

00:29:34.000 Because I'm about to fucking lose it.

00:29:36.000 And the CEO goes, nope.

00:29:39.000 So, whack-a-mole. 0.99

00:29:41.000 He picks up the apple eater, slams him on his back, knocks the wind out of him, tunes him up a little bit.

00:29:47.000 And he's handcuffed and denied all his privileges.

00:29:50.000 But who gives a fuck?

00:29:51.000 He's in there for another year.

00:29:53.000 Four years, folks.

00:29:54.000 He's still got another year.

00:29:56.000 And we had this big party planned for him.

00:30:00.000 And as Maddie pointed out, there's no party.

00:30:03.000 You got to get right to your location after you're released.

00:30:08.000 So it's like a race to beat the clock from the moment you're released to when you check in at night, especially when you're in the Canadian border.

00:30:15.000 Yeah, well, see, they take that into consideration.

00:30:17.000 But before you get released, you have to tell them if you're going to take public transport, like if they're going to give you a bus ticket to the train station and then take the train to give you more time.

00:30:27.000 At least give them a fucking party.

00:30:31.000 When we were in Cuba, me and my dad were shit faced.

00:30:34.000 He was drinking vodka out of a Milwaukee light king can.

00:30:38.000 And there was a Chinese guy there and totally racist entertainment. 0.75

00:30:44.000 I'm not talking long ago, by the way.

00:30:45.000 This is like 10 years ago.

00:30:47.000 And the guy's up there and they go, so where are you from?

00:30:51.000 And he goes, oh, I'm from Toronto.

00:30:52.000 And they go, I don't think so.

00:30:53.000 Hoi, hoy, woo, hoi, hoy, hoy, ho. 0.92

00:30:56.000 And all the Cubans are laughing, like the staff, and everyone in the audience is going, oh, because they're from Toronto with him.

00:31:03.000 And then they do this banana eating contest where they blindfold you and you have to eat bananas.

00:31:08.000 But they blindfold everyone.

00:31:10.000 Then they take everyone blindfolds off.

00:31:11.000 So this Asian guy is fanatically eating bananas alone.

00:31:17.000 And then they're done and they go, oh, you win.

00:31:20.000 And he's like, oh, he doesn't realize that he's been alone eating bananas with the blindfold when everyone's unblindfolded.

00:31:26.000 Which is probably funny in primitive cultures.

00:31:28.000 But me and my dad were just like, oh, for fuck's sakes, give him a bottle of vodka.

00:31:35.000 Give him a prize.

00:31:38.000 And I feel the same way about prisoners.

00:31:40.000 You did your time.

00:31:41.000 Yeah.

00:31:41.000 Have a party when you get out for fun.

00:31:43.000 Now he's got supervised release.

00:31:45.000 The water people knock the South Bronx.

00:31:48.000 You get the greatest people.

00:31:51.000 Even Paul Newman made a movie in the South Bronx.

00:31:55.000 What was that?

00:31:56.000 The go-getters are Fort Apache.

00:32:00.000 Fort Apache, isn't that the worst police station?

00:32:03.000 That's just up the street from us.

00:32:05.000 Isn't that the worst police station on earth?

00:32:07.000 But the people that live around there are the greatest human beings.

00:32:11.000 Those share that chicken with you, their milk, their women, they're great.

00:32:16.000 Now, when we walk around the South Bronx, we're petrified.

00:32:20.000 At least I'm speaking for myself here.

00:32:22.000 Me and putz.

00:32:23.000 Murder is everywhere.

00:32:25.000 There's murderers all over the world.

00:32:28.000 When you were a young girl in the South Bronx, skipping along, playing stickball.

00:32:33.000 It's so hard to remember.

00:32:35.000 But was it dangerous back then?

00:32:38.000 No more than that.

00:32:40.000 No.

00:32:40.000 But you, look, come on.

00:32:42.000 You're saying the South Bronx is just as dangerous now as it was in the 60s?

00:32:47.000 As long as you don't act scared of them, they ain't gonna fuck with you.

00:32:50.000 You act scared of them, they're gonna hurt you.

00:32:54.000 Have you ever been mugged or assaulted?

00:32:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:59.000 They would have an annual camera in New York City.

00:33:03.000 Oh, have you ever been attacked or assaulted at the South Bronx?

00:33:07.000 No.

00:33:08.000 Really?

00:33:09.000 Really?

00:33:10.000 Wow.

00:33:11.000 As long as you act like you're not scared and you mind your P's and Q's, they ain't gonna fuck with you.

00:33:17.000 I wonder if it's because then they assume you live there, so they don't want to shit where they...

00:33:23.000 I was a little girl.

00:33:25.000 I think they could tell that you're from the South Brooklyn.

00:33:28.000 No, they don't know.

00:33:29.000 I don't look, well, people thought I was Irish.

00:33:31.000 I was just a crazy nutjug.

00:33:33.000 They didn't know if I was Irish or not.

00:33:36.000 So what if I kiss a blondy soap every three steps? 1.00

00:33:40.000 They didn't know.

00:33:43.000 Okay, so we're going to go behind the paywall soon, but I like to show the cheapskates who don't subscribe the culture of the show. 0.76

00:33:51.000 So maybe we should take some calls and let's change things with the super chat.

00:33:56.000 Okay.

00:33:57.000 Because last time it felt...

00:34:00.000 I felt...

00:34:01.000 It was abusive.

00:34:02.000 It was abusive.

00:34:04.000 I felt hampered.

00:34:06.000 I didn't feel free.

00:34:07.000 Right.

00:34:07.000 When I had to read and read and read every $5 thing.

00:34:10.000 So the cheap ones we'll put up on the screen by all means.

00:34:15.000 But I'm only going to read the $100 ones from Max and John.

00:34:18.000 Sounds good.

00:34:19.000 I thought we were...

00:34:20.000 Okay.

00:34:20.000 All right, so we're going to start the show.

00:34:22.000 Let's start the show.

00:34:25.000 Monster Chuck.

00:34:26.000 Oops.

00:34:27.000 Uh-oh.

00:34:28.000 What happened here?

00:34:29.000 Careful.

00:34:30.000 Syl, you're about to get attacked by an eagle and Donald Trump.

00:34:34.000 Oh, I know what happened here.

00:34:35.000 Sounds exciting.

00:34:37.000 I know what happened here.

00:34:38.000 We've got some sort of technical glitch.

00:34:40.000 Boop.

00:34:41.000 Okay.

00:34:42.000 What happened?

00:34:43.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:34:45.000 She's right.

00:34:47.000 Here we go.

00:34:49.000 Oh, and then it goes that way.

00:34:51.000 Watch out, Tilbury.

00:34:52.000 There's him.

00:34:53.000 And then an eagle takes him away.

00:34:58.000 Are you a Trump lady?

00:35:00.000 Hell no.

00:35:02.000 You hate Trump?

00:35:03.000 No.

00:35:05.000 You told me he was a great president.

00:35:06.000 Personality, him as a man.

00:35:10.000 As a president, the only good thing he did was get a lot of jobs for Americans.

00:35:16.000 That always good.

00:35:17.000 Just jobs.

00:35:18.000 But Biden's a fucking wimp.

00:35:21.000 And he's a retard. 1.00

00:35:23.000 He's a reaper?

00:35:25.000 Yeah, he's a reaper, too, but he's also a retard. 1.00

00:35:27.000 I think he's afraid of the reaper.

00:35:29.000 You can't understand a word he says.

00:35:32.000 He has dementia and Alton is.

00:35:35.000 What did you expect?

00:35:36.000 Yeah, agreed.

00:35:38.000 Caramel Harris, who hates his guts, is the real president.

00:35:42.000 That cunt. 1.00

00:35:45.000 Agreed.

00:35:45.000 Isn't it funny how Kamala Harris sold herself as black when there's nothing remotely black about her?

00:35:51.000 She came to fruition.

00:35:55.000 Her formative years were in Montreal.

00:36:00.000 Fucking bitch. 1.00

00:36:01.000 Got a man off a death row who was innocent.

00:36:04.000 She tried to block at the bitch. 1.00

00:36:06.000 She put so many people in jail over tiny bits of marijuana. 1.00

00:36:11.000 She ain't no fucking good. 1.00

00:36:15.000 If she becomes president, I'll shoot everyone in the ass. 0.99

00:36:19.000 331 million people you will shoot in the ass, including babies?

00:36:23.000 No, not babies.

00:36:25.000 We allow them to live unharmed.

00:36:28.000 Are you pro-life?

00:36:29.000 Am I pro-life?

00:36:30.000 Yeah.

00:36:31.000 I'm pro-me, baby.

00:36:34.000 Have you ever had an abortion?

00:36:36.000 Eight.

00:36:37.000 Oh.

00:36:38.000 Besides that?

00:36:42.000 It's like a plunger sucking your guts out.

00:36:46.000 So it's not so bad.

00:36:47.000 No, it sounds kind of bad to me.

00:36:50.000 You as a man wouldn't know what true agony as a woman is. 1.00

00:36:55.000 Except when you orgasm all over our bellies and tits. 1.00

00:37:01.000 As they call it in French, le petite moll, the little death.

00:37:06.000 Yeah, I like that.

00:37:11.000 Let's just read letters as we wait for calls to come in.

00:37:14.000 Ryan, do you want to put the number on the screen?

00:37:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:17.000 Maddie's shitty little kitchen was great. 1.00

00:37:19.000 The background music was a nice touch, and it was nice to see Maddie doing his thing.

00:37:23.000 Can't wait for the next one.

00:37:25.000 Now, Maddie, your plan, we talked about making a prison little kitchen. 0.99

00:37:31.000 I'll do a...

00:37:33.000 You want to experience jail cuisine?

00:37:38.000 Which is tricky because there's jail and there's prison, right?

00:37:41.000 And jail is less creative.

00:37:43.000 It's like a shitty cuisine where it's like...

00:37:46.000 It's hardcore.

00:37:47.000 Bad.

00:37:48.000 Prison is a little different because there's more access to stuff, right?

00:37:54.000 Kettles.

00:37:55.000 And the commissaries are a lot more hardcore.

00:37:57.000 So we're talking about food.

00:37:59.000 Oh, the food is hardcore.

00:38:00.000 No, no, no.

00:38:01.000 Making food.

00:38:01.000 Because these guys make food in their cells.

00:38:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:04.000 So when you make food in your cell in jail, it's basically ramen is your best bet.

00:38:09.000 And then in prison, you can get a microwave.

00:38:11.000 You could make like empanadas.

00:38:13.000 Frozen pizza sticks.

00:38:15.000 Have you ever been to jail?

00:38:17.000 In Miami, yeah.

00:38:19.000 For what?

00:38:20.000 Prostitution.

00:38:22.000 Really?

00:38:26.000 Shocks me.

00:38:26.000 Day County.

00:38:28.000 I never would have guessed that.

00:38:29.000 I did it for love.

00:38:31.000 What do you mean?

00:38:32.000 You're in love with yourself?

00:38:33.000 My husband was in trouble, so I turned some tricks to help him out.

00:38:38.000 And how much money did you make?

00:38:40.000 I don't know.

00:38:41.000 $800, $900.

00:38:43.000 Oh, wow.

00:38:45.000 We got calls.

00:38:46.000 Oh, but you want to turn that mic on, Gabriel?

00:38:48.000 Oh, yes.

00:38:49.000 And Maddie, too.

00:38:58.000 Let me just read this letter.

00:39:01.000 Well done on the new output of content on the network lately.

00:39:04.000 Outstanding, my boy, still to watch the old G-Dog shows.

00:39:06.000 But Ryan and Maddie made a decent show with Maddie's Shit Little Kitchen. 1.00

00:39:10.000 Maddie brought his knowledge from the live shows into cooking, and Ryan asked all the right questions and got shots.

00:39:15.000 I'm proud of your boy.

00:39:16.000 Okay.

00:39:17.000 Thank you.

00:39:18.000 Appreciate it.

00:39:19.000 I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised at what a hit Maddie's Shit Little Kitchen was. 1.00

00:39:23.000 It was fun, delicious.

00:39:25.000 I learned.

00:39:29.000 I made a similar meal inspired by your show, says someone else in Maddie's Little Kitchen.

00:39:33.000 I, too, am not a trained chef, but love to cook and eat good food.

00:39:37.000 I cook all the big meals in my house, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter.

00:39:41.000 I've become partial to deep fry my turkeys.

00:39:43.000 Excuse my gas.

00:39:45.000 It's just amazing, easy, and delicious.

00:39:47.000 Have you ever tried doing that?

00:39:49.000 Anyway, love the show, except Gavin, stop doing that annoying.

00:39:52.000 And then he uses the N-word.

00:39:56.000 That's the worst word there is, right?

00:39:58.000 No.

00:39:59.000 What's the worst word?

00:40:01.000 Fuck you, motherfucker. 0.99

00:40:04.000 Well.

00:40:05.000 Please.

00:40:06.000 Otherwise, the show has been very enjoyable.

00:40:08.000 And then he's included a picture of his steaks and his potatoes.

00:40:14.000 And his scallions.

00:40:16.000 Oh, and he's got some asparagus there.

00:40:17.000 Have you got that one?

00:40:18.000 It's called Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen, Ryan.

00:40:21.000 Okay.

00:40:22.000 It's from a guy named Jason.

00:40:24.000 Got it.

00:40:25.000 That's cool.

00:40:25.000 I've got to be careful not to dox him.

00:40:29.000 People send in letters anonymously, Syl, because they don't want to be identified with the show.

00:40:35.000 They don't want to get fired for watching.

00:40:37.000 They don't get fired watching the show.

00:40:39.000 They're cowardly.

00:40:41.000 They don't have a set of balls and I spun conspiracy to them.

00:40:45.000 They're cowardly.

00:40:46.000 What's going on with your eyes?

00:40:47.000 Are these lights bothering your eyes?

00:40:48.000 No, I have a thyroid condition that it burns.

00:40:53.000 No, the lights don't bother me at all.

00:40:55.000 You got sunglasses?

00:40:56.000 Yeah, I gotta buy some.

00:40:58.000 I was gonna wear them tonight, but I thought you'd think I was incognito.

00:41:04.000 Hey, Maddie.

00:41:06.000 In that tactical wall above my bicycle, there's a dish of sunglasses.

00:41:11.000 Could you bring one of them over, please?

00:41:15.000 He didn't show us the finished product.

00:41:17.000 I know, that's weird.

00:41:18.000 Who shows ingredients?

00:41:20.000 That's like when you're a little kid and you're working on your first poem and you write out rhyming lines and then you show, hey, mom, look at this.

00:41:30.000 I'm almost ready to start.

00:41:33.000 Maybe this is what he considers cooked.

00:41:36.000 It looks like he's using a heater, like an actual heater.

00:41:38.000 These are for children, but she's petite. 0.99

00:41:40.000 I have a little face.

00:41:41.000 Thank you.

00:41:42.000 Thank you, that works.

00:41:47.000 Thank you, it helped.

00:41:48.000 Really?

00:41:49.000 Oh, great.

00:41:49.000 Thank you.

00:41:52.000 We'll leave those there.

00:41:56.000 Have we got a call or should I do it?

00:41:58.000 We do have calls.

00:41:58.000 Okay, let's talk to a caller.

00:41:59.000 And then we're going to leave.

00:42:00.000 Then we're going to go behind the paywall.

00:42:02.000 And you guys don't get any of this.

00:42:03.000 You don't get Tinkerbell.

00:42:05.000 You don't get silk.

00:42:06.000 I heard a beep.

00:42:07.000 Can I talk yet?

00:42:08.000 Yes.

00:42:09.000 Yeah.

00:42:09.000 Okay.

00:42:09.000 Sorry.

00:42:10.000 Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:42:11.000 Hello.

00:42:11.000 No, I'm sorry.

00:42:12.000 No, I'm sorry, caller.

00:42:14.000 I'm sorry.

00:42:15.000 No, no, no.

00:42:16.000 No, it's me.

00:42:18.000 I overspoke.

00:42:19.000 I wouldn't shut up.

00:42:21.000 It's me.

00:42:22.000 No, you could speak as much as you want.

00:42:24.000 I'll get to my point real quick here so I could leave you all alone.

00:42:28.000 It's kind of a fan favorite, I think, and I think Phil's insight might make it even better if you listen to just a selection of Ryan's musical output.

00:42:38.000 Oh, thank you.

00:42:41.000 Wait, what?

00:42:42.000 Do you have any suggestions?

00:42:43.000 I want to listen to some of Ryan's music if you heard that.

00:42:46.000 So I'm going to hang up and try to.

00:42:48.000 So hold on a sec.

00:42:49.000 Hold on a sec.

00:42:49.000 This is shocking.

00:42:50.000 So we have a baby monster calling in who enjoys Ryan's music and wants to hear more.

00:42:56.000 I never said that.

00:42:58.000 But I do want to hear more.

00:43:00.000 Oh, I get it.

00:43:00.000 Ironic.

00:43:01.000 Like Corey Feldman.

00:43:03.000 Like crazy.

00:43:04.000 Well, he just seems to be a fan favorite, so I just want to have it.

00:43:08.000 I'm caught up now.

00:43:08.000 You hate him as much as I do.

00:43:10.000 No, it sounds like he enjoys.

00:43:12.000 No, Ryan.

00:43:13.000 It's like going to see Charlie Sheen.

00:43:15.000 I want to hear about Tiger Blood.

00:43:17.000 Thank you for calling.

00:43:18.000 Yeah, let's hear your latest jams.

00:43:20.000 Okay.

00:43:21.000 Bring it on, Ryan.

00:43:22.000 Thank you.

00:43:24.000 Let's see.

00:43:24.000 I have, this was from today.

00:43:26.000 Oh.

00:43:27.000 I was doing.

00:43:31.000 It's great.

00:43:33.000 This is Share.

00:43:34.000 Share.

00:43:35.000 All guys love share.

00:43:37.000 If there's one thing, you're at the local bar and you're just like, hey, dudes, let's put on some share on the jukebox.

00:43:43.000 And everyone's like, thank God.

00:43:56.000 Finally, thank you.

00:44:17.000 Alright, no, you sit here.

00:44:19.000 Alright.

00:44:31.000 You'll have to pick up the bed.

00:44:47.000 I'm not going to hold on to it.

00:44:55.000 No, that's.

00:44:55.000 We have to find a better chair for you.

00:44:58.000 That's the thing.

00:44:59.000 I'll bring one from home.

00:45:02.000 All right, so I'm going to be sitting in Syl's spot, but no, no, I have the mic.

00:45:08.000 That's your mic now.

00:45:09.000 I have your mic.

00:45:10.000 Are we good, Ryan, with switching?

00:45:12.000 Yeah, oh, you.

00:45:13.000 Yeah, just aim the mic towards her a little more. 1.00

00:45:17.000 You could point it down there too, hon. Yeah, you really got to eat it.

00:45:20.000 Pretend it's a cock.

00:45:21.000 Well, oh, well, not.

00:45:25.000 I love it.

00:45:26.000 That's like ASMR.

00:45:29.000 So we're going to go behind the paywall now and take some calls and read some live chats and have some fun.

00:45:36.000 But for all you freeloaders there, you've got to sign up for Censored.tv, $10 a month.

00:45:41.000 All you can eat every night.

00:45:43.000 You get Taker Bell.

00:45:45.000 You get Sylv get Maddie Odell.

00:45:48.000 You get Ryan Catsu Rivera, aka Putz doing covers and share.

00:45:53.000 I mean, what else is there in the world?

00:45:54.000 Nothing.

00:45:55.000 And if you don't want to join us, well then as our goodbye, we would like to say to you, get fucked. 0.98

00:46:02.000 Okay.

00:46:02.000 Get fucked.

00:46:04.000 Get fired.

00:46:05.000 Get in trouble.

00:46:06.000 Be brave.

00:46:07.000 And never stop fighting.

00:47:20.000 Do you believe in life I've alone feel for me?

00:47:27.000 It's not the same.

00:47:29.000 Hold on a second.

00:47:32.000 Hold on, my dear.

00:47:36.000 When was the last time you sucked a dick? 0.74

00:47:40.000 We're on the air, Gavin.

00:47:41.000 No, come in.

00:47:43.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:47:43.000 You are swimming down plug dick.

00:47:46.000 Oh, really?

00:47:47.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:47:47.000 I gotta plug this in.

00:47:49.000 They always say, why is a Jew smiling on her so much at her wedding?

00:47:55.000 Because she knows she's never gonna have to suck a dick ever again. 0.55

00:47:58.000 That was very funny.

00:48:05.000 So Syl will also be available for questioning.

00:48:09.000 Yes, I will.

00:48:10.000 Most definitely.

00:48:14.000 She's not going anywhere.

00:48:15.000 We just, we've got to come up with a better back solution.

00:48:19.000 Yeah, our new...

00:48:21.000 I got to put my jacket on.

00:48:22.000 It's getting really cold.

00:48:23.000 It's getting cold.

00:48:24.000 Her cataracts.

00:48:26.000 I mean, her thyroid.

00:48:29.000 Cataract spam.

00:48:30.000 It's hurting her eyes.

00:48:34.000 I got to put my jacket on.

00:48:35.000 Think about myself.

00:48:37.000 Are you continuing to put up the super chats?

00:48:41.000 I'm going to refresh those.

00:48:43.000 I do have a couple of calls on the loin.

00:48:45.000 Could I have the ashtray, please?

00:48:48.000 Right over there.

00:48:49.000 Where is he?

00:48:50.000 On the left, on the glass table.

00:48:54.000 Wait, I'm freezing.

00:48:55.000 I've got to put my chat.

00:48:56.000 Someone writes in, why do people like Kate Bush?

00:49:00.000 I don't know, because she's really good.

00:49:03.000 And she made a type of music that is not derivative.

00:49:07.000 Where do you see an ashtray?

00:49:09.000 Interesting and exciting.

00:49:10.000 Keep running up that hill.

00:49:12.000 Keep running up that hill with no problems.

00:49:17.000 How could you not like that?

00:49:19.000 Don't want to see.

00:49:20.000 Don't want to see.

00:49:22.000 If you don't like pop music, I know I make fun of Ryan because he goes a little too far.

00:49:26.000 But if you don't like pop music at all, you have no heart.

00:49:30.000 Yeah.

00:49:30.000 It's a community.

00:49:32.000 Like, when a song comes out and a lot of people like it, it might not be the coolest thing in the world, but you're all vibing.

00:49:39.000 You just played Cher on a Peter Frampton machine.

00:49:43.000 Peter.

00:49:44.000 Yes.

00:49:46.000 But, no, not dystopia.

00:49:49.000 Like, this is a jam.

00:49:52.000 Right?

00:49:55.000 You could play this to a room full of murderers, and they'd be like, not good a lot.

00:49:59.000 That slaps. 0.99

00:50:07.000 Syl, do you know Kate Bush? 0.64

00:50:09.000 Of course.

00:50:11.000 She's good, right?

00:50:13.000 Yep.

00:50:14.000 Hell yeah.

00:50:22.000 What about the French songbird Edith Pyatt? 0.64

00:50:26.000 Thanks, madam.

00:50:27.000 Edith PF. 0.86

00:50:28.000 PF, yes.

00:50:29.000 She was wonderful.

00:50:31.000 Yeah.

00:50:31.000 We'd like to keep it a little more modern.

00:50:33.000 Where is the ashtray?

00:50:34.000 Put it on the plexiglass.

00:50:36.000 No, I got it right here, baby.

00:50:39.000 Put it right on the side there.

00:50:40.000 On the plexiglass.

00:50:41.000 Put it where?

00:50:46.000 Syl is so impressed with the studio that she said I could be a professional interior designer and said she can get me giggling.

00:50:54.000 You would be a great chapel in the Hampton.

00:50:57.000 What?

00:50:57.000 You would be a great male callboy.

00:51:01.000 Oh, I thought it was about my incredible design skills.

00:51:07.000 Now you're saying I would just be a prostitute? 0.89

00:51:08.000 Like a young Greek god.

00:51:11.000 I like that part.

00:51:13.000 You know, I saw some meme that said, men are so starved for attention, you say anything nice about them and they won't shut up about it.

00:51:20.000 And I noticed at No Screens Day with my kids, my daughter's walking by and she goes, you got a great outfit on today. 0.75

00:51:27.000 And I went, oh, really?

00:51:29.000 Because I wasn't sure about the shoes.

00:51:32.000 Because usually I wear my red wings with my welder pants.

00:51:35.000 But then the Gucci high top seems like it's not on brand.

00:51:39.000 But then I thought it looks good.

00:51:40.000 And she goes, it does.

00:51:42.000 Then the bitch goes to school with her phone. 1.00

00:51:46.000 Oh.

00:51:47.000 I got hustled.

00:51:48.000 It's New York City, baby.

00:51:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:51.000 Fuck you.

00:51:53.000 Buttered up the old Eagles.

00:51:55.000 Let's talk about Latruth Latrek from the Mulan Rouge.

00:52:00.000 The women loved him, but he was a cripple. 1.00

00:52:04.000 They felt sorry for him.

00:52:05.000 He was a great artist.

00:52:08.000 You know that song, Whenever We Kiss, I Wonder and Wonder.

00:52:13.000 Your lips may be warm, but Sherry, where is your heart?

00:52:18.000 I think that's one of the saddest love songs I've ever heard.

00:52:24.000 Why is it today singers got to show their bodies and they're considered great singers?

00:52:29.000 Years ago, Perry Como, Tony Bennett, Aretha Franklin, was...

00:52:37.000 Cell, you fucking hypocrite.

00:52:39.000 I was nude at the beginning of the show.

00:52:41.000 You were fawning all over my naked body like it was a gift from God. 1.00

00:52:46.000 I had to.

00:52:46.000 You were loving it and inhaling it.

00:52:49.000 You told me it was better than the Coke you sniffed last night.

00:52:54.000 You were drunk with lust.

00:52:56.000 Yes, I was.

00:52:57.000 Massaging every... 0.52

00:52:58.000 So you love naked entertainers just as much as everyone else.

00:53:02.000 Yeah, but if they have talent as a singer or a singer, they don't have to shake their ass.

00:53:10.000 As a singer or a singer?

00:53:12.000 No, a singer or a singer.

00:53:14.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:53:14.000 They don't have to show off their body.

00:53:17.000 If you have a beautiful voice, you have a beautiful voice.

00:53:21.000 Years ago, it was your voice that counted, not whether you had a sexy body and a good voice.

00:53:28.000 So today, everything is superficial.

00:53:31.000 That is true.

00:53:33.000 What were your tits like when you were like 20? 1.00

00:53:36.000 They were 34D and high as a motherfucker. 0.71

00:53:42.000 Perky.

00:53:45.000 This guy keeps sending me an Espeedo, Gavin an Espeedo.

00:53:49.000 I don't know.

00:53:50.000 Okay, congratulations.

00:53:51.000 You bought Google Image.

00:53:54.000 This is a picture of me from like, I think it's like 99 or something.

00:54:00.000 And I'm in Austin, Texas.

00:54:01.000 It's south by South.

00:54:02.000 Oh, my God.

00:54:03.000 She just pissed on your white rug. 1.00

00:54:05.000 Oh, for fuck's sakes.

00:54:09.000 That's the second piss today.

00:54:11.000 I should have walked her.

00:54:13.000 We jumped right in your car.

00:54:16.000 I hope she's not shitting.

00:54:17.000 I hope she's just pissed. 0.88

00:54:18.000 I don't actually prefer shit.

00:54:20.000 Yeah, because you just picked that up.

00:54:22.000 Oh, she pissed on the white rug? 0.95

00:54:24.000 Hey, Tinkerbell.

00:54:25.000 No, no.

00:54:28.000 All right, I'm going to clean that up and get it and nip it in the bud.

00:54:31.000 Next time I'll walk her before the show, definitely.

00:54:35.000 Well, hopefully she'll be dead by the next show. 0.97

00:54:38.000 She's 14.

00:54:40.000 It's time to go.

00:54:41.000 She wanted and inaugurate as a true Republican voter just show. 1.00

00:54:47.000 But now the Republicans are becoming corrupt, too.

00:54:51.000 She started the state when they stormed Congress. 0.99

00:54:59.000 She was the leader.

00:55:00.000 She's keeping it under rafts because she's black. 1.00

00:55:04.000 This is your dog, Tinkerbell.

00:55:06.000 Hell yeah.

00:55:06.000 She started the whole shit.

00:55:08.000 Okay, let's take a call while I clean up this fucking piss for the second time tonight, by the way.

00:55:14.000 Okay.

00:55:16.000 We've got Danny coming on the line.

00:55:21.000 Gab, my man, how are you doing?

00:55:23.000 Good.

00:55:24.000 Hanging in there.

00:55:26.000 Yeah, I just got to say, man, the network, stellar.

00:55:31.000 More and more content coming out every day.

00:55:33.000 Content's getting better and better.

00:55:35.000 I have one request.

00:55:37.000 I know you got the bar back there, and you and Maddie are pretty big drinkers.

00:55:40.000 We'll leave Ryan out of this one.

00:55:42.000 But I want to see who can down a pint quicker, you or Maddie O'Dell?

00:55:50.000 I'm up for the challenge.

00:55:52.000 Yeah, I'll do it.

00:55:53.000 I have a feeling that.

00:55:54.000 I'm going to hang up so I can watch you guys.

00:55:56.000 Have a great night.

00:55:56.000 Love you.

00:55:57.000 Thanks, buddy.

00:55:58.000 I have a feeling that we'll be pretty equally matched because I don't see you as a big chugger.

00:56:01.000 I'm not a big chugger.

00:56:03.000 Are you a big chugger? 0.99

00:56:04.000 No.

00:56:05.000 No, I get like, it gets like foamy.

00:56:11.000 Yeah, I'm not good at chugging.

00:56:13.000 I used to party with this dude, Sharky Favorite.

00:56:16.000 He would just go, wow.

00:56:20.000 And it would be gone.

00:56:21.000 He's like, you got to open your throat.

00:56:23.000 I know, yeah.

00:56:24.000 Okay.

00:56:25.000 I hate when people say that.

00:56:26.000 What do you mean, open?

00:56:26.000 You think I control all these valves?

00:56:30.000 But I'm up for the challenge.

00:56:32.000 Should we do it now?

00:56:33.000 Sure.

00:56:34.000 Okay.

00:56:34.000 So Philip the Points, boys.

00:56:36.000 Do you know where my cell phone is?

00:56:39.000 I think I left it in your car or at the bar at Ducks In.

00:56:45.000 We got Nick Taiwan calling in.

00:56:47.000 Are you from Taiwan, Nick?

00:56:50.000 No, I'm not from Taiwan.

00:56:51.000 But my question is, if we had halfway decent leaders who didn't just want to destroy everything, wouldn't it be genius if we invited Taiwan to be the 51st state to sort of steal it out from under China's grasp?

00:57:08.000 Interesting.

00:57:09.000 That would be a world war, wouldn't it?

00:57:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:57:12.000 No, you gotta remember the Chinese are all about face, saving face.

00:57:16.000 So us taking, even if we took Taipei or Kaoh Chung, they would lose face.

00:57:25.000 They'd never get over it.

00:57:26.000 Yeah, they wouldn't.

00:57:28.000 But they both had vengeance.

00:57:30.000 So we might as well very vengeful.

00:57:35.000 I'm going to go.

00:57:39.000 He was getting talked over.

00:57:40.000 You'll never look a Chinese fortune cookie in the eye again. 0.91

00:57:44.000 Good point.

00:57:45.000 All right, here we go.

00:57:46.000 Wait a minute.

00:57:47.000 I really don't feel like chugging a beer here.

00:57:50.000 One, two, three on your mark.

00:57:53.000 Wait, wait, we've got to read that $100 one.

00:57:56.000 Yes, we do.

00:57:56.000 That was the deal.

00:57:58.000 Hey, Gav, how do you find nose beers while on vacation out of town?

00:58:01.000 I feel like a cop whenever I try it.

00:58:03.000 Yeah, it's real tricky.

00:58:04.000 You're going to get shitty stuff.

00:58:06.000 My recommendation would be, depending on where you are, if you're at a resort, of course, you befriend the staff and they might set you up.

00:58:14.000 But if you mean just like visiting Nashville, you don't know anyone, I would give up.

00:58:21.000 Because you're going to get fucking garbage.

00:58:23.000 What if you get fentanyl, too?

00:58:24.000 You're going to get fentanyl.

00:58:25.000 You're going to get meth.

00:58:26.000 You're going to get ripped off.

00:58:29.000 I don't know how to do it.

00:58:30.000 Okay, ready?

00:58:32.000 Do you want some music?

00:58:33.000 Yes.

00:58:33.000 Okay, what sort of awesome hardcore music?

00:58:36.000 Tenope Yup?

00:58:37.000 Knight Rider?

00:58:40.000 The theme for Knight Rider.

00:58:41.000 Okay.

00:58:41.000 I'm already kind of bloated.

00:58:43.000 I'm feeling pretty negative about this.

00:58:44.000 Or maybe I'm just trying to get into Maddie's head.

00:58:47.000 Oh, it's a bluff.

00:58:48.000 I'm trying to fucking psych him out.

00:58:50.000 Making him think there ain't gonna be no competition.

00:58:53.000 You're making me blush.

00:58:55.000 Just gonna have a wee swalle. 0.99

00:58:57.000 Hold on.

00:58:58.000 One, two, three, go.

00:59:07.000 Wow, Maddie.

00:59:10.000 Wow.

00:59:14.000 Impressive.

00:59:15.000 That is impressive.

00:59:16.000 Look at this.

00:59:17.000 I had a third.

00:59:18.000 What the?

00:59:19.000 Can you please fart for us? 0.81

00:59:21.000 I did fart, actually, Sil.

00:59:25.000 Was that your signature fart or your ordinary one?

00:59:30.000 It was my classic cobalt.

00:59:33.000 But congratulations, Maddie O'Dell.

00:59:35.000 I won.

00:59:36.000 Great chug.

00:59:37.000 Good work.

00:59:39.000 Sill sounds a little unusual to me.

00:59:41.000 Yeah, you know what?

00:59:42.000 I'm going to fix her mind.

00:59:44.000 I was just about to go fix that.

00:59:45.000 We got Tony on the line up until then.

00:59:48.000 Okay.

00:59:49.000 Tony on the line.

00:59:51.000 Hey, what's up, Gavin?

00:59:52.000 Proud of your boy.

00:59:53.000 Proud of your boy.

00:59:54.000 Quick question, man.

00:59:55.000 I've been in a relationship for two years, and then this is the third year, but we've broken up.

01:00:00.000 We broke up about a year ago and keep going on and off, on and off.

01:00:04.000 We try to block each other.

01:00:05.000 Shit like that, but we keep having sex with each other.

01:00:08.000 Why do I like to get rid of this kid?

01:00:12.000 Quiet over there.

01:00:13.000 I'm missing the question.

01:00:15.000 Sorry, so two years on and off, right?

01:00:18.000 No, so we were together for two years straight, and we broke up about a year ago, but we've been just having sex every other month.

01:00:27.000 And it's like, I got to find a way to get rid of her or block her.

01:00:32.000 But every time, like, I unblock her, and we end up having sex. 0.72

01:00:35.000 And is the sex great? 0.89

01:00:37.000 Yeah, it's like 10 out of 10.

01:00:39.000 Marry her. 0.67

01:00:42.000 I don't know if she wants to marry, though.

01:00:43.000 I can't.

01:00:44.000 It's not a democracy.

01:00:46.000 It's a benevolent dictatorship.

01:00:48.000 Take control of the relationship.

01:00:51.000 We're not broken up, whatever.

01:00:53.000 Go over there and punish her. 1.00

01:00:56.000 Own her. 0.77

01:00:57.000 Dominate her.

01:00:58.000 You're the boss.

01:00:59.000 Control her.

01:01:01.000 Yeah, you hear?

01:01:02.000 It's not about democracy.

01:01:04.000 That's the dumbest thing we ever did, was letting women vote, not just in elections, but in relationships. 1.00

01:01:10.000 Like, you've got to just...

01:01:11.000 Let them know you're the man.

01:01:13.000 Yes.

01:01:15.000 You're the boss.

01:01:17.000 So, you found the one.

01:01:20.000 The sex being good is God, or if you're an atheist, nature, saying, this is the one.

01:01:26.000 I want you to breed with her. 0.99

01:01:28.000 It's on.

01:01:31.000 All right.

01:01:32.000 You're done.

01:01:32.000 Proud of your boy.

01:01:33.000 Thanks, guys.

01:01:34.000 Here's an interesting letter we got.

01:01:37.000 War theory.

01:01:39.000 He says, three things can be true at once without there being any correlation.

01:01:44.000 The media lies and is incompetent.

01:01:47.000 I'm drunk from that third of a beer chugging.

01:01:51.000 Ukraine is in the pocket of the United States and Putin doesn't like that.

01:01:57.000 I guess that's all number two.

01:01:59.000 And then Putin doesn't want NATO east of Germany because he wants to be the man who rebuilt the Soviet Union.

01:02:06.000 Okay?

01:02:07.000 These three separate issues resulted in a war and poor coverage of that war.

01:02:12.000 I think the right skepticism towards the war will undo any progress it made winning over Normie American with CRT and the Truckers.

01:02:19.000 I don't really understand that letter, to be honest.

01:02:22.000 These three separate issues resulted in a war, correct.

01:02:26.000 And poor coverage of that war, correct. 1.00

01:02:28.000 I think the right, so he doesn't like that the right is skeptical.

01:02:32.000 To be clear, and I'm not even sure this is what you're saying, I'm dubious of the war, but I know that a good thousand people are going to die.

01:02:40.000 Real deaths, real people really dying.

01:02:43.000 We just think that there's also, like, 80% of it is fake, 20% of it is real, is my two cents.

01:02:53.000 What do you think, Sil?

01:02:54.000 Is this war in Ukraine real?

01:02:57.000 I feel like we're losing you now that you're not on the camera.

01:03:00.000 Well, Putin is like Hitler. 0.62

01:03:04.000 He wants to take over gradually everything.

01:03:09.000 If the Western powers and dementia biden don't stand up and do something, you know, just economically strangling them, Putin don't give a flying fuck. 0.87

01:03:22.000 He will continue on.

01:03:27.000 He's a radical lunatic and extremely egotistical and very hostile.

01:03:34.000 You've got to remember his roots, KGB. 0.70

01:03:37.000 He's not going to give up.

01:03:40.000 Okay.

01:03:41.000 And you also got to realize Ukrainian people are not Russians.

01:03:47.000 But in the region he wants, they're ethnically Russian.

01:03:50.000 They speak Russian.

01:03:51.000 Unfortunately, well, there's Russian people living there, but the Ukrainians want no part of Russia. 0.97

01:03:58.000 He hates any thought of democracy or free will.

01:04:03.000 People in Russia, if they say anything bad about him, their whole family disappears.

01:04:09.000 They're tortured, beat, and murdered.

01:04:12.000 So that's Putin.

01:04:13.000 Who's the fattest guy you ever?

01:04:16.000 Mayo and Stalin.

01:04:18.000 He's one of their buddies.

01:04:19.000 Who's the fattest guy you ever fucked? 1.00

01:04:22.000 The fattest guy?

01:04:24.000 Yeah.

01:04:24.000 An Arab.

01:04:27.000 Yeah, the littlest tick I ever had in my life.

01:04:29.000 I couldn't even feel him fucking me.

01:04:32.000 Did you suck it? 0.57

01:04:33.000 He was so good looking.

01:04:34.000 Did you suck it? 0.57

01:04:36.000 No.

01:04:36.000 Jewish women don't suck tick.

01:04:39.000 Why not?

01:04:40.000 It's against our religion.

01:04:42.000 Not kosher. 0.60

01:04:43.000 That's right.

01:04:44.000 You don't eat pork.

01:04:46.000 Even if it's baptized.

01:04:48.000 Imagine the gift.

01:04:49.000 You suck it.

01:04:51.000 You fuck it, but you don't suck it. 0.99

01:04:54.000 That's our motto.

01:04:55.000 Fuck it, don't suck it. 1.00

01:04:57.000 There you go.

01:04:58.000 That's a t-shirt.

01:04:59.000 And stay in school.

01:05:00.000 We got our next t-shirt.

01:05:02.000 Fuck it, don't suck it with a big star of David.

01:05:05.000 That's right.

01:05:06.000 That way.

01:05:06.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:07.000 I want that.

01:05:08.000 But it's a star David with a woman's symbol in the middle, and it says fuck it don't suck it. 0.87

01:05:16.000 That's a tattoo.

01:05:17.000 Yeah.

01:05:18.000 Yeah.

01:05:19.000 Okay, let's take a call.

01:05:21.000 Unfortunately, this is a very rude message, but it's $100.

01:05:26.000 Why are you subjecting all of us to this gorgeous woman? 0.86

01:05:29.000 Isn't Maddie enough?

01:05:32.000 Maddie's gorgeous, but not as.

01:05:34.000 Yeah, I mean, I want maximum gorgeosity.

01:05:39.000 So let's have Sylvia and Maddie.

01:05:41.000 We can both enjoy.

01:05:44.000 Look at Sophia Lauren. 0.99

01:05:47.000 Still beautiful.

01:05:50.000 Yeah.

01:05:50.000 She was a war baby.

01:05:52.000 Her tits are still high. 0.99

01:05:53.000 Her lips are still luscious.

01:05:56.000 That's true Italian vintage. 0.52

01:05:58.000 Wait, is Sophia Loren still alive?

01:06:00.000 Yes, she is.

01:06:02.000 And she's still dropped that beautiful.

01:06:05.000 Wow.

01:06:05.000 Sexy as could be.

01:06:07.000 She might be.

01:06:09.000 Yeah, she looks fairly good, although, I mean, she must be 80.

01:06:14.000 Oh, she's alive and kicking.

01:06:16.000 Dude, when she was young, though, oh my God.

01:06:20.000 That weird funny teeth.

01:06:22.000 I hate when women, they have a quirk, like funny teeth, or I don't know, their tits are too big or something, and they want to fix it. 1.00

01:06:31.000 They're like, if I could just get rid of the gap in my teeth or my thing or even like my slightly wandering eye, I'd be perfect.

01:06:38.000 No, ladies. 1.00

01:06:40.000 Pretty is pretty.

01:06:41.000 Only ugly can be beautiful. 0.97

01:06:45.000 Are you lying down smoking a cigarette, Syl?

01:06:48.000 I'm getting ready for my next sex party.

01:06:52.000 But I'm, isn't that how you burnt down your last apartment building by sleeping with a cigarette?

01:06:56.000 No, I burnt it down from too much sex.

01:07:00.000 The friction.

01:07:01.000 I had a rabbi, a priest, and a pastor.

01:07:04.000 They all said amen.

01:07:07.000 The friction started sending sparks.

01:07:09.000 It was the friction of the three sexual bodies that lit everything on fire. 0.94

01:07:17.000 They were loving it.

01:07:19.000 Tinker Bell said, stop, mommy. 0.95

01:07:21.000 You know fucking well I'm a virgin.

01:07:26.000 Alrighty.

01:07:26.000 Gavin and Biden, forehead twins.

01:07:29.000 What's up?

01:07:30.000 Homo bros. 0.82

01:07:32.000 When I saw Biden's forehead today, I thought there's an Alzheimer patient who bumped his head.

01:07:35.000 Then I watched Gavin interview Beards and Beerly and he's got the same thing going on.

01:07:38.000 What the fuck, Gav?

01:07:39.000 Is this a side effect of the rich and powerful taking adrenochrome or are you both a couple of head-bumping idiots?

01:07:44.000 I guess you've never heard of your ashes?

01:07:48.000 Ash Wednesday.

01:07:49.000 Ash Wednesday, beginning of Lent, you get your ashes and you commit to denying yourself something.

01:07:54.000 You're supposed to give the money you would spend on that thing to charity.

01:08:00.000 If I gave the money I spend on whiskey to charity, because that's what I'm quitting for Lent, charity could buy a...

01:08:06.000 The Pope doesn't need your money.

01:08:08.000 He's filthy rich, him and the Vatican.

01:08:12.000 Agreed.

01:08:13.000 If you have that money, you could buy.

01:08:18.000 Yes?

01:08:19.000 You could buy Hillary Clinton's ass. 1.00

01:08:22.000 There you go.

01:08:23.000 See, we practiced that before the show.

01:08:25.000 It was a toss-up.

01:08:26.000 And we're doing a kind of comedy duo thing.

01:08:30.000 Let's take a call.

01:08:31.000 All right.

01:08:32.000 Alrighty then.

01:08:33.000 Women ruined the military coming home videos. 1.00

01:08:39.000 You're on the line.

01:08:41.000 Hey, man.

01:08:41.000 Hey, big Gav.

01:08:42.000 Yo.

01:08:44.000 So, I was binging military homecoming videos pretty hard last night, and I found that women being in the military has ruined them. 1.00

01:08:54.000 In what sense?

01:08:57.000 Well, it used to be you get this guy home, everyone thinks he might die.

01:09:00.000 So when he comes home, his mom, his wife, his girlfriend, his kids are all thrilled to see him.

01:09:06.000 Now we're sending these women off, and we know they're not going to probably die.

01:09:10.000 So when they come home, no one's really that excited.

01:09:13.000 I never thought of that.

01:09:15.000 And also, like, when you see the woman coming back after a year away in Afghanistan, you go, well, why did you sign up for this? 0.79

01:09:24.000 Like, when you see a dude do it, you're like, you sign up for this to go fight for the Western world and change the course of history.

01:09:32.000 When you see a woman do it, you're like, you're doing paperwork and shit over in Afghanistan. 1.00

01:09:38.000 Like, why did you deny your three-year-old a mommy for a year?

01:09:42.000 Like, the whole reason we have the military is so mommies can be with their kids. 1.00

01:09:48.000 And then you left?

01:09:50.000 Then they come home half a dike. 1.00

01:09:53.000 It's like when you see them on Naked and Afraid.

01:09:57.000 And you're like, what are you doing?

01:10:00.000 With your pendulous breasts getting attacked by wild boars.

01:10:03.000 We all know that they're going to have a cush job over there. 1.00

01:10:06.000 So it's like, yeah, it's better than being on welfare, but we don't need it.

01:10:12.000 Yeah.

01:10:13.000 Do the paperwork from home.

01:10:15.000 Good point.

01:10:16.000 Thanks for calling.

01:10:17.000 Want to watch some?

01:10:19.000 Yeah.

01:10:20.000 I promise you I will not cry.

01:10:23.000 And I am a bull.

01:10:27.000 Yeah, I gotta admit.

01:10:29.000 Well, the music is.

01:10:30.000 I get annoyed.

01:10:32.000 Cry near river.

01:10:34.000 Cause I cried a river over you.

01:10:41.000 Oh, hey, I wasn't here to tuck you in for a year.

01:10:43.000 This needs better.

01:10:44.000 The music is not like...

01:10:46.000 Hey, cry. 1.00

01:10:47.000 Yeah, it should be rudimentary peanut.

01:10:55.000 What have I done?

01:10:56.000 Why did I sign up?

01:10:57.000 Wait, that little girl is in the military?

01:11:00.000 She's surprising her mom.

01:11:02.000 I had to fit in foxholes.

01:11:04.000 I was the only one who could fit down the little tubes where they were planting the bombs.

01:11:09.000 Tunnel rats.

01:11:10.000 I was a tunnel rat.

01:11:12.000 With little pink asses hanging out. 1.00

01:11:18.000 I don't know if you could say that, but sure.

01:11:23.000 I feel nothing.

01:11:26.000 Sorry.

01:11:26.000 Because you're a Budweiser man.

01:11:29.000 The Bugiser has numbed you to the realities of life.

01:11:35.000 No, Sil, when I see men coming back and surprising their kids, I cry so much I have to drink Gatorade to avoid getting dehydration. 1.00

01:11:43.000 But this, I'm annoyed that they left.

01:11:49.000 It's like Ashley Babbitt.

01:11:50.000 I'm sorry.

01:11:51.000 A controversial statement coming up.

01:11:54.000 Ashley Babbitt, what were you doing at January 6th?

01:11:57.000 Why were you there?

01:11:59.000 The John Sullivan, the Antifa guy, is going, jump through the window, go, go, let's attack, let's attack.

01:12:04.000 He's a fucking miscreant, degenerate, radical leftist.

01:12:08.000 He's yelling at you to go in.

01:12:11.000 A normal man, a red-blooded patriot would sense that something was up.

01:12:18.000 And he'd go, yeah, let's hold off.

01:12:21.000 I see some black dude with a gun pointed at me.

01:12:23.000 Send the women in first. 1.00

01:12:24.000 Yeah.

01:12:25.000 Yeah.

01:12:26.000 Normal men don't say women first.

01:12:28.000 But that Antifa dude, the black dude, John Sullivan, goaded her to go in, and she died.

01:12:36.000 She shouldn't have been there. 0.75

01:12:38.000 Did he get arrested?

01:12:40.000 No, dude.

01:12:41.000 He's in Ukraine right now.

01:12:42.000 He's in Ukraine now, shooting for CNN.

01:12:46.000 She's dead meat. 1.00

01:12:47.000 He's a correspondent.

01:12:52.000 And I think they're making him a correspondent because they realize, holy shit, we had an Antifa at Jan 6.

01:12:58.000 That doesn't look good.

01:12:59.000 So let's make him go to Ukraine and do some other shit.

01:13:02.000 So then it's like our Anderson Cooper.

01:13:05.000 But we just had a normal reporter.

01:13:07.000 Press credentials.

01:13:08.000 So why don't they send Anderson Cooper there?

01:13:12.000 Because he's a faggot. 1.00

01:13:14.000 That's true.

01:13:15.000 No.

01:13:16.000 He's got spunk to him.

01:13:18.000 Oh, he's got spunk all right.

01:13:20.000 He's got spunk on his lapel all over his face.

01:13:22.000 Yeah.

01:13:23.000 And then some.

01:13:25.000 He'll spunk it out.

01:13:27.000 That's right.

01:13:28.000 Would you let a man come on your face? 0.99

01:13:31.000 Yeah, of course.

01:13:32.000 For the show.

01:13:33.000 Good for your complexion.

01:13:35.000 So no blowjobs, but you can jizz on your face. 1.00

01:13:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:40.000 Sperm is always healthy.

01:13:44.000 I think that's in the Torah.

01:13:45.000 Okay, here's a fun question we got.

01:13:48.000 It's a would you rather.

01:13:49.000 It applies to all of us here at the show.

01:13:52.000 And it is as follows.

01:13:53.000 Are you ready, team?

01:13:55.000 Yes, sir.

01:13:56.000 Team powers activate.

01:14:00.000 Would you rather, now you have to change this, Syl, to a female for you, okay? 1.00

01:14:07.000 Would you rather make out with a guy for five minutes, suck him off for 30 seconds, or take it in the ass for 10 seconds? 0.96

01:14:17.000 All three.

01:14:18.000 I love it.

01:14:21.000 Okay, so Syl said yes.

01:14:23.000 That's the female perspective. 1.00

01:14:24.000 Yeah.

01:14:25.000 This is easy.

01:14:27.000 Like, is this person drunk?

01:14:29.000 Of course, make out for five minutes.

01:14:32.000 Yeah.

01:14:32.000 It's like, here's three levels of homosexuality.

01:14:35.000 Which one do you want?

01:14:37.000 The least one?

01:14:38.000 Yeah.

01:14:39.000 I think this guy...

01:14:40.000 Oh, I see.

01:14:41.000 Five minutes is more than 10 seconds.

01:14:43.000 But yeah, five minutes is making out with a dude.

01:14:46.000 I made out with Milo as a joke.

01:14:49.000 The asshole is tighter.

01:14:53.000 You prefer your butthole to your vagina? 1.00

01:14:56.000 Both, I like.

01:14:58.000 At the same time?

01:14:59.000 Yeah, hell yeah.

01:15:01.000 Well, Maddie and I. I'm like a two-dick man.

01:15:04.000 Women go crazy for a two-dick man. 1.00

01:15:07.000 Maddie and I just had a beer drinking competition.

01:15:11.000 Maybe we should have a whole fucking competition.

01:15:16.000 Hell, fucking.

01:15:18.000 Hot shit.

01:15:19.000 Hot shit.

01:15:20.000 Hot shit.

01:15:22.000 He's gone.

01:15:26.000 Alright, let's take a call.

01:15:28.000 Okay.

01:15:30.000 We have.

01:15:33.000 Video games.

01:15:34.000 This man is talking about video games.

01:15:37.000 My dude.

01:15:38.000 Big yellow world.

01:15:41.000 Go ahead.

01:15:43.000 I missed that.

01:15:44.000 Alright.

01:15:47.000 Alright.

01:15:48.000 Alright, video games.

01:15:50.000 Are you drunk, sir?

01:15:53.000 Uh, no, not at all.

01:15:56.000 That's what drunk people say.

01:16:00.000 So back in, like, your Rebel News days, you didn't seem to really care about video games, right?

01:16:04.000 Correct.

01:16:04.000 Like, if you do it, whatever.

01:16:07.000 But now, yeah, you don't really like them that much.

01:16:12.000 So what's the deal?

01:16:15.000 Wait, are you saying that I like video games now?

01:16:19.000 No, you don't.

01:16:20.000 You hate them.

01:16:21.000 I've always hated them.

01:16:24.000 You always hated them.

01:16:25.000 Yes, in Rebel video days, I always talked about how sad it is that we have grown men playing video games and the average age is 35.

01:16:35.000 I'll play them with my kids as a way to bond, but the fact that grown men are playing video games alone and pretending they're fucking Spider-Man is downright embarrassing.

01:16:46.000 Which is true.

01:16:47.000 That's pretty true.

01:16:50.000 But what if you come home and it's like watching a movie, right?

01:16:54.000 You got two hours to go.

01:16:55.000 No, it's not like watching a movie.

01:16:57.000 A movie, by the way, is an hour and 20 minutes.

01:17:00.000 It has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and you're done with it.

01:17:03.000 You guys play video games for six fucking hours, and there's sort of a story, but not really a beginning, a middle, and an end.

01:17:12.000 It's not literature.

01:17:15.000 Yeah.

01:17:16.000 All right.

01:17:16.000 Goodbye.

01:17:17.000 Thanks for calling, fucking drunk asshole. 0.99

01:17:24.000 You notice I have to use two hands to scratch my head.

01:17:28.000 Hey, Gab.

01:17:29.000 Hello.

01:17:30.000 What's going on?

01:17:32.000 Hey, I'm calling from Prince George, B.C. Love you guys.

01:17:38.000 Hi, Syl.

01:17:38.000 Hi, Maddie.

01:17:39.000 You guys are in Northern B.C. Yeah, North.

01:17:43.000 Well, we call ourselves, yeah, we call ourselves the capital of the north.

01:17:46.000 It's kind of bullshit, but yeah, it's like middle.

01:17:49.000 You've talked about PG when you did your Canada video.

01:17:52.000 You said we say A a lot.

01:17:54.000 Yeah, you do.

01:17:55.000 I agree with that.

01:17:56.000 Is it cold up there?

01:17:57.000 What's it like?

01:17:57.000 Because you're on the ocean, so it must be kind of tropical.

01:18:00.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:18:01.000 We're not on the ocean.

01:18:02.000 We're central.

01:18:03.000 We're central BC.

01:18:05.000 Okay, so what was the temperature today?

01:18:09.000 We've had a really weird winter, but normally it's like minus 20 right now.

01:18:12.000 It's pretty cold up here.

01:18:14.000 Which is what?

01:18:14.000 Like zero degrees Fahrenheit?

01:18:16.000 Minus 20?

01:18:18.000 No, it's probably like minus 5 Fahrenheit.

01:18:20.000 Oh, yeah, they tend to meet around zero.

01:18:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:22.000 32.

01:18:23.000 Yeah.

01:18:24.000 Dude, that's fucking cold.

01:18:26.000 Oh, yeah.

01:18:27.000 I'm sledding every weekend up here still, yeah.

01:18:30.000 But hey, I called about Sean Avery probably two weeks ago, and I realized I really omitted.

01:18:39.000 He played in the NHL.

01:18:40.000 He's a super cool guy.

01:18:41.000 He's got his own podcast.

01:18:43.000 Oh, yeah, he's the guy that yells at people for like riding.

01:18:46.000 Yeah.

01:18:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:47.000 That's what I was going to say is maybe could Ryan throw up a video, Sean Avery Bike Lane Part 6?

01:18:54.000 Is he joking?

01:18:56.000 Is he joking in that video?

01:18:58.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:18:59.000 No, he's from Northern Ontario, and he's a hockey player.

01:19:05.000 They talk to Part 7.

01:19:07.000 I know who he is, but yelling at people for being in the bike lane is a Portlandia sketch.

01:19:14.000 No, it's not.

01:19:15.000 No, it isn't.

01:19:15.000 Yes, it is.

01:19:16.000 It is.

01:19:17.000 It's annoying, and it's stupid.

01:19:19.000 And in New York City, as dense as it is, why would you give a fuck that someone is parking their garbage truck at the side of the road?

01:19:28.000 Because he's Canadian.

01:19:29.000 No, he's a tough guy from the NHL.

01:19:32.000 He's looking for shit.

01:19:33.000 There's videos of him knocking out guys in New York outside of bars and stuff.

01:19:38.000 I know, but it's not a good look to be bitching about the bicycle lane if you're not kidding.

01:19:43.000 Fred Armison in the Portland sketch is kidding.

01:19:48.000 Yeah, well, okay, but I'm from Canada.

01:19:50.000 Like, we're not densely populated like you guys are.

01:19:53.000 I see it as entertainment, like a guy saying, like, fuck you.

01:19:57.000 Yeah, but when you say fuck you, you have to be right.

01:20:01.000 Like, when Syl said, I couldn't fuck her without a condom, I said, fuck you, and I was right, because she can't get pregnant. 1.00

01:20:08.000 Yeah, but he's, I don't know, in a few of his videos, like, it's guys that are, like, bike messengers parking their bikes, like, straight in the middle of the bike lane.

01:20:16.000 I don't know.

01:20:17.000 I find it, like, annoying some of the shit that he sees.

01:20:20.000 No.

01:20:21.000 Thank you for calling.

01:20:22.000 You're wrong.

01:20:23.000 Pitching about the bike lane is gay and retarded. 1.00

01:20:27.000 Just stop.

01:20:29.000 How fucking hard is it to just stop?

01:20:31.000 You little midget? 1.00

01:20:34.000 That's funny.

01:20:35.000 Just stop those little midget legs at the light. 1.00

01:20:37.000 It's not hard.

01:20:39.000 Dude, you're a danger to yourself on that bike.

01:20:42.000 Hey, that's funny.

01:20:43.000 Jesus Christ.

01:20:47.000 Oh, fuck.

01:20:49.000 Jesus, I didn't know these existed.

01:20:51.000 How creeped out do you think this guy will get if I film them?

01:20:54.000 Look at this crazy store.

01:20:57.000 Wow, they sell dildos and like lube and stuff.

01:21:01.000 That guy's probably buying a giant dildo.

01:21:05.000 Hey, guys.

01:21:05.000 Hey, that's funny.

01:21:07.000 Yeah.

01:21:07.000 Hey, what's up, bro?

01:21:14.000 Nice segue.

01:21:15.000 This comes full circle.

01:21:16.000 I had a lot of firsts to your body.

01:21:19.000 Okay, Ryan, go to the clip, Rapist, not racist.

01:21:23.000 I have to piss.

01:21:24.000 Okay, that's in the mailbag.

01:21:25.000 Yeah.

01:21:26.000 Rapist, not racist.

01:21:28.000 Yeah.

01:21:29.000 Read it, and then play the clip.

01:21:33.000 Okay.

01:21:35.000 Today.

01:21:39.000 Okay.

01:21:39.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan.

01:21:41.000 Take a look at this video from Sky Sports News, the biggest sports news channel in Britain.

01:21:47.000 They reported David Goodwillie, a footballer, embroiled in a scandal where he was signed to a Scottish football team, who then sacked him following the backlash after it was revealed he was once convicted rapist.

01:21:59.000 Anyway, while they report on the issue, they called him a racist rather than a rapist and had come out into it.

01:22:06.000 I'm reading this verbatim.

01:22:07.000 And had to come out and apologize for him being a racist.

01:22:12.000 Is being called a racist now worse than being called a rapist?

01:22:15.000 Crazy.

01:22:17.000 Take a look, and we shall.

01:22:21.000 At that story, we would like to issue an apology to Mr. Goodwillie a little earlier this evening.

01:22:26.000 In error, we reported that he had been ruled to be a racist in a civil case in 2017.

01:22:31.000 The ruling in question was actually that Goodwillie was ruled to be a rapist in that case.

01:22:36.000 We apologise for the error he reported.

01:22:40.000 They apologize for the error reporting.

01:22:42.000 That's.

01:22:43.000 Yeah, it was still a problem.

01:22:44.000 Well, the example he always used is fucking the cannibal.

01:22:48.000 What was his name?

01:22:49.000 Bundy?

01:22:50.000 No.

01:22:51.000 Was it Dahmer? 0.94

01:22:52.000 Dahmer, Jeffrey Dahmer, was like, I heard you're doing a documentary on me, and you're going to focus on me eating black people. 0.55

01:22:59.000 That's because black people lived in my neighborhood.

01:23:01.000 I'm not a racist.

01:23:04.000 I have a feeling we're losing Syl.

01:23:07.000 Syl, are you peacing out? 0.94

01:23:09.000 Yes, I'm listening.

01:23:10.000 But are you getting tired?

01:23:12.000 No, it's very exciting, rapist.

01:23:15.000 I say, burn them at the stake.

01:23:18.000 Do you think rape is a big deal? 0.99

01:23:20.000 I mean, in the old days, you get raped at a party on a date rape.

01:23:24.000 I don't mean like a guy jumping out of the hedges.

01:23:26.000 But if you're at a party and he buys you dinner and you don't want to and you do anyway, was it that big of a deal back in the 80s?

01:23:32.000 I think he should be tortured, decorated, and murdered.

01:23:37.000 So yes, it is a big deal.

01:23:39.000 I'm definitely against rapists in any shape, form, or shade of color. 0.56

01:23:45.000 Okay.

01:23:47.000 Have you ever been raped?

01:23:49.000 Yes.

01:23:50.000 What kind of, what happened?

01:23:52.000 Well, I was forced on a route by Knife Point in Harlem.

01:23:57.000 What year was that?

01:24:00.000 In the 60s.

01:24:02.000 How old were you?

01:24:04.000 About 19.

01:24:06.000 Was the assailant a person of color?

01:24:09.000 Yeah.

01:24:11.000 And how long did it last?

01:24:13.000 What is it like?

01:24:16.000 10, 12 minutes.

01:24:19.000 Wow.

01:24:20.000 And did you call the police?

01:24:22.000 No, I knocked on doors and nobody would answer it because they looked at me on Whitey.

01:24:29.000 They wouldn't help Me.

01:24:30.000 What were you doing in Harlem in the first place?

01:24:32.000 I had a girlfriend that I met there.

01:24:34.000 When I was going home, the guy grabbed me, dragged me to the roof, held me by knife point, and raped me.

01:24:41.000 Jesus.

01:24:42.000 Wow.

01:24:44.000 And did you ever call the cops about it?

01:24:47.000 I didn't.

01:24:48.000 They said to me, fuck off, what was I doing in Harlem?

01:24:52.000 Sheesh.

01:24:54.000 The good old days.

01:24:56.000 They called me a nigger lover.

01:24:58.000 Oh, wow.

01:25:00.000 And were you?

01:25:01.000 And they didn't believe me, but it was true. 1.00

01:25:03.000 It was the truth.

01:25:05.000 What happened to me?

01:25:07.000 Wow.

01:25:08.000 Different time.

01:25:09.000 But you were a fan of the African Americans throughout your life?

01:25:13.000 No, I just like men of any shape or color.

01:25:16.000 But five of your seven husbands are black.

01:25:19.000 Yeah, correct.

01:25:20.000 I didn't like them because they were black. 1.00

01:25:22.000 I like them for themselves.

01:25:24.000 Right, that's cool.

01:25:26.000 Love knows no color, baby.

01:25:29.000 What were all seven men's names?

01:25:33.000 Marty.

01:25:34.000 No, no, full name.

01:25:37.000 Ardidi.

01:25:39.000 Marty Ardiddi.

01:25:40.000 Charles Anquay.

01:25:43.000 Norris Beret.

01:25:46.000 I can't remember the rest.

01:25:49.000 There were so many.

01:25:50.000 What was the shortest marriage?

01:25:53.000 Shortest?

01:25:54.000 Well, Norris was six feet tall.

01:25:57.000 Marty was five, seven or five age.

01:26:01.000 Charles was about 17 feet.

01:26:03.000 Putz is referring to the duration of the marriage.

01:26:06.000 That's correct.

01:26:07.000 Well, Morris, Marty, I was married to 17 years.

01:26:12.000 I divorced him.

01:26:14.000 Why?

01:26:15.000 Because we didn't agree how to bring up our only child.

01:26:18.000 He was right and I was wrong.

01:26:20.000 Wait, what happened?

01:26:22.000 We did not agree how to bring up our only child.

01:26:25.000 And what was his contention?

01:26:27.000 That more discipline?

01:26:29.000 And you said no discipline?

01:26:30.000 She said she was sick.

01:26:32.000 She didn't want to go to school.

01:26:33.000 She wasn't sick.

01:26:34.000 She just didn't want to go to school.

01:26:36.000 So I let her stay home.

01:26:38.000 And he said to me, there's nothing wrong with us sending her to school, but I ignored him.

01:26:44.000 Well, that's a bad fight at the most.

01:26:46.000 It's not divorce material.

01:26:48.000 Well, she was married 17 years.

01:26:50.000 Yeah.

01:26:51.000 The problem with...

01:26:52.000 My wife and I had that fight this week. 1.00

01:26:54.000 The problem basically with all my marriages and being single, basically I'm oversexed.

01:27:01.000 So no matter how much sex I'd have or love, I always wanted more.

01:27:06.000 So I would have affairs.

01:27:08.000 Oh.

01:27:10.000 Infidelity.

01:27:12.000 What's your ideal amount of fucking, maybe not today, but in your heyday?

01:27:17.000 Say you were 30 years old.

01:27:18.000 How much sex would you want?

01:27:20.000 Never enough.

01:27:22.000 Like four times a day?

01:27:23.000 Oh, no, more than that.

01:27:26.000 Four times.

01:27:27.000 A voracious actor.

01:27:28.000 Day and night non-stop.

01:27:30.000 Day and night non-stop.

01:27:31.000 Like a mess.

01:27:35.000 Come on, Self.

01:27:36.000 Be serious.

01:27:37.000 Four times a day?

01:27:39.000 More than that.

01:27:40.000 But like people had been, we had sex day and night except on Friday.

01:27:47.000 And it would wear him the fuck out.

01:27:50.000 What happened on Fridays?

01:27:51.000 He ate food.

01:27:52.000 No, we wouldn't do anything.

01:27:54.000 Recovery.

01:27:55.000 We would just relax.

01:27:57.000 Their genitals would heal? 0.99

01:27:59.000 No, he was exhausted.

01:28:01.000 Dude, if you beat off five times a day, your dick would hurt like hell.

01:28:06.000 I had sex five times one day.

01:28:08.000 His ultra sex.

01:28:09.000 But she's talking about every day.

01:28:12.000 And I bet you even that time you had sex five times a day, your dick was a little sensitive when you went piss.

01:28:19.000 Like it gets tender.

01:28:20.000 No.

01:28:21.000 Yeah.

01:28:22.000 What do you mean, no, silly?

01:28:23.000 You don't have a dick.

01:28:24.000 We're talking to dudes here.

01:28:26.000 But yeah.

01:28:26.000 Look, the men I slept with, they were extremely sexual.

01:28:31.000 So they weren't the average man where after one buck, they'd be tired and couldn't fuck again or after two.

01:28:38.000 These men like to go at it for hours non-stop.

01:28:42.000 Multiple pops.

01:28:43.000 So do you think that's why you ended up with so many African-American and Hispanic lovers?

01:28:49.000 No.

01:28:49.000 That's a myth that an African man's genitals are bigger than...

01:28:54.000 I didn't say bigger.

01:28:55.000 I'd be more libidinous.

01:28:56.000 That's bullshit.

01:28:57.000 Aren't those groups more libidinous than us corny white guys?

01:29:02.000 No.

01:29:03.000 It has nothing to do with the color of your skin.

01:29:06.000 Either you have an extremely passionate sexual nature or you don't.

01:29:10.000 You could be Chinese, Japanese, American.

01:29:13.000 Ryan's Chinese, American.

01:29:15.000 It's your sex urge.

01:29:17.000 If you have a very strong sex urge, I was your kind of woman.

01:29:22.000 Also known as a libido.

01:29:24.000 Right.

01:29:24.000 Syl, do you think that's what brought us together those many years ago at Subway in New Rochelle?

01:29:30.000 Yeah, you sensed and sexy looking.

01:29:32.000 You sensed that I was a horny dude and you're a horny bitch and we just bonded. 1.00

01:29:38.000 Exactly.

01:29:42.000 It was like we felt the energy.

01:29:48.000 We knew each other.

01:29:50.000 Your auras were drawn together.

01:29:52.000 Right.

01:29:53.000 This was two years ago.

01:29:54.000 I met Syl at Subway and then she walks into my local bar and I'm like, wait a minute, that's that horny bitch from Subway. 1.00

01:30:03.000 And again, imagine when she was listing her exes, she was like, a guy named Gavin McInnes, and you're like, oh shit, that was me.

01:30:12.000 That was you?

01:30:13.000 And it turns out you were married.

01:30:15.000 Not even in a past life.

01:30:17.000 This life.

01:30:18.000 Now, I don't believe in sleeping with married men, but I'll make an exception for that little Jack Chinaman with me. 1.00

01:30:27.000 Hiding in the back.

01:30:30.000 Ryan.

01:30:30.000 But you won't blow him.

01:30:32.000 No.

01:30:34.000 Dang.

01:30:34.000 Spider-Bluejob.

01:30:36.000 I find that insulting.

01:30:37.000 It's like it hurts my dick's feelings.

01:30:42.000 You have the audible, the option.

01:30:45.000 Yeah, but I don't want to break his wife's heart.

01:30:48.000 That's true.

01:30:49.000 I wouldn't want to break his wife.

01:30:49.000 She's going to murder him and me.

01:30:51.000 That's right.

01:30:52.000 Chinese torture style. 0.92

01:30:54.000 Well, she's a white lady, but she would still murder, I believe, for me. 1.00

01:31:00.000 Let's take a call.

01:31:01.000 Alrighty.

01:31:02.000 Shannon.

01:31:04.000 Talking about moving south.

01:31:07.000 Hello?

01:31:08.000 What's up, guy?

01:31:09.000 Your name's Shannon.

01:31:10.000 Hey, girl name. 0.98

01:31:11.000 Yes, sir.

01:31:13.000 You could probably fuck us all.

01:31:14.000 Must have had a rough kindergarten.

01:31:18.000 I've actually known a guy named Shannon.

01:31:21.000 I'm on air right now.

01:31:23.000 Yes.

01:31:23.000 I know a black guy named Shannon.

01:31:26.000 You know a black guy named Shannon?

01:31:28.000 Yeah.

01:31:30.000 I also know black guys named Shannon.

01:31:34.000 Hey, moving down south.

01:31:38.000 I'm a little worried about you because, you know, you're right.

01:31:42.000 You've been talking about this the last weeks about how friendly and everything is.

01:31:50.000 Yeah, you're going to piss people off.

01:31:55.000 But the main thing I worry about is you move to a small town.

01:32:00.000 Like you've been talking about Greenville.

01:32:01.000 I don't know if it's about Greenville.

01:32:04.000 But here's what's going to happen.

01:32:11.000 I live in a small town in the south.

01:32:14.000 I was raised in a small town.

01:32:16.000 We have liberals out the ass here. 1.00

01:32:18.000 They're very small, but what's going to happen is they're going to dox you.

01:32:24.000 And then what happens is, as red as it is, you know, they're normies. 0.82

01:32:34.000 They're not going to understand.

01:32:36.000 They're going to hear that there's a Nazi in our town, and they're going to get pissed about it.

01:32:42.000 So be careful is all I'm saying.

01:32:44.000 You know what I mean?

01:32:45.000 Like, think about it, you know?

01:32:47.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:32:48.000 Like, a lot of these people in my various neighborhoods that I've lived in who freak out, they're not necessarily left-wingers or radical leftists.

01:32:59.000 They just hear Nazi and they freak out and they get scared.

01:33:04.000 They don't look into it.

01:33:06.000 Right.

01:33:07.000 And especially when the mob is all doing it.

01:33:08.000 So yeah.

01:33:09.000 Like when I was in Nashville, there was Black Lives Matter signs on lawns in Nashville, Tennessee, eastern Nashville.

01:33:17.000 So I think it's a kind of a myth that you go south of the Mason-Dixon line and everyone goes, God damn, what were you doing up in there in New York, boy?

01:33:27.000 What?

01:33:28.000 Welcome home.

01:33:32.000 Well, I'm comfortable telling you where I'm from.

01:33:34.000 I'm from Fort Smith, Arkansas.

01:33:37.000 And I'm going to be able to do that.

01:33:38.000 What's your name?

01:33:39.000 Arkansas.

01:33:40.000 Everybody here tells us who you are.

01:33:43.000 What?

01:33:45.000 All they know is that...

01:33:47.000 What's your full name?

01:33:51.000 You won't tell us.

01:33:52.000 I'm not going to do that.

01:33:55.000 Why won't you tell me that?

01:33:59.000 You want me to tell you my first, middle, and last name?

01:34:02.000 Yeah.

01:34:05.000 Okay.

01:34:06.000 You ready?

01:34:07.000 Yep.

01:34:10.000 I'm nervous about it, bud.

01:34:12.000 I'll do it.

01:34:13.000 Do it.

01:34:15.000 My name is Shannon Palmer from Fort Snowth, Arkansas.

01:34:18.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:34:19.000 Okay, what's your name?

01:34:21.000 Because ain't nobody fucking.

01:34:23.000 Hey, go.

01:34:24.000 Ain't nobody here.

01:34:26.000 Go ahead.

01:34:27.000 What's your pin on your bank card?

01:34:34.000 I think it's 1378, isn't it?

01:34:37.000 I can tell by the way you're talking, it's 1378.

01:34:39.000 Yeah.

01:34:40.000 My last four digits of my Social Security is bajanka bajkabu ra.

01:34:51.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

01:34:53.000 Those are all valid points.

01:34:54.000 All right, next letter.

01:34:56.000 Gavin is right about dogs.

01:34:57.000 Hello, Kevin and Ryben.

01:34:59.000 I grew up with two dogs, schnauzers, and I always enjoyed having them around in my teens.

01:35:03.000 To instill some responsibility, my family tasked me with caring for the dogs, which I did until they died of the old age of 13.

01:35:11.000 I was devastated by this and slowly began to realize people spend ridiculous amounts of money on the finest breed dogs, animal clothes, excessive toys.

01:35:20.000 Sylv, does this ring any bells?

01:35:24.000 Of course.

01:35:25.000 You've been spending a lot of money on that fucking dog over the years.

01:35:28.000 Hell yeah.

01:35:30.000 That's my baby.

01:35:32.000 She's better than a human. 1.00

01:35:36.000 And to what end?

01:35:37.000 Ten years of overpriced joy, which ends in a death that devastates your family, all for something that doesn't even have a soul.

01:35:45.000 In the years since, everyone in my family has restocked on dogs.

01:35:48.000 And as someone free of that burden, I notice how much unnecessary stress is added to all their lives.

01:35:54.000 Family gatherings are frequently cut short due to the poorly trained dogs.

01:35:57.000 Humans should just stick to having human children.

01:35:59.000 Love you more than a friend.

01:36:01.000 Yeah, you got to put them in a border when you go away and all that stuff. 0.99

01:36:07.000 But I think it's good to have a dog for security if you live in an imperfect area or if you're silly and you want a chihuahua to fall asleep in your vagina. 0.90

01:36:22.000 I'm using this $100 to tell you I'm unsubscribing instead of spending it on a yearly subscription because this episode is giving me AIDS.

01:36:32.000 Fuck you.

01:36:35.000 Wow.

01:36:37.000 And to say that, he spent the price of a year's subscription.

01:36:41.000 That's a blow.

01:36:42.000 That's a painful blow.

01:36:43.000 That's a blow.

01:36:45.000 We're going to miss that next year.

01:36:51.000 Let's see.

01:36:52.000 We got calls.

01:36:52.000 You want the calls?

01:36:56.000 National Kitchen.

01:36:57.000 It was my name.

01:36:58.000 Ellen.

01:36:58.000 I'm talking about being canceled out of my job.

01:37:01.000 The new show is awesome.

01:37:03.000 Thanks.

01:37:03.000 Nice little kitchen.

01:37:04.000 Appreciate it.

01:37:06.000 And hello to your lovely, very distinguished guest.

01:37:10.000 Well, Sylv.

01:37:13.000 So.

01:37:14.000 You just caught her picking your nose?

01:37:17.000 No, I'm squeezing a bump on my nose.

01:37:22.000 You're squeezing a zit on your nose?

01:37:24.000 I was trying to take it off, but it would have hurt too much.

01:37:26.000 Was it a zit or like a...

01:37:28.000 What is it that you're squeezing?

01:37:29.000 It's a bump.

01:37:30.000 What do you mean a bump?

01:37:31.000 A zit?

01:37:31.000 Like a goiter?

01:37:32.000 A mole?

01:37:33.000 You gotta realize, I'm not just from the truth.

01:37:37.000 I'm from a faraway planet.

01:37:40.000 Damn.

01:37:40.000 I'm only part human.

01:37:42.000 You're from the Bronx.

01:37:43.000 You're from two blocks.

01:37:44.000 That's why the Uber was a million.

01:37:45.000 You're from South Bronx, and don't you forget it.

01:37:48.000 Okay.

01:37:49.000 Sorry, caller, we got sidetracked by Sills Boogers. 1.00

01:37:57.000 That's a new show.

01:37:58.000 I'm calling you because I lost my design job just for quoting you.

01:38:02.000 At least that's what I'm suspecting.

01:38:04.000 I messaged you a couple of weeks back about that.

01:38:07.000 Pretty crazy stuff.

01:38:08.000 I was leading the design of a major fitness brand.

01:38:11.000 They have a fitness app.

01:38:13.000 Allegedly providing videos for CrossFitters.

01:38:17.000 Big, big company.

01:38:18.000 And for three years, I was leading their design department.

01:38:20.000 It's a gym shard.

01:38:21.000 Design all of their apps, all the cool stuff.

01:38:24.000 And one day I just get a notification that I'm being removed from the team after a meeting giving us unlimited budget for the rest of the year.

01:38:35.000 And I tried to dig into it.

01:38:36.000 And I contacted the CEO.

01:38:38.000 And all he could say is like, yeah, some high-profile people didn't like what you said on social media.

01:38:43.000 And without any context, we still can't be associated with it.

01:38:46.000 And the funny thing is that whenever you brought someone on the team, it took them weeks and weeks to add them to the tool, like Slack and all that stuff.

01:38:54.000 But they dropped all my access within one hour.

01:38:56.000 It's like, man, that's efficient.

01:38:59.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:39:03.000 So you were on some design team for a sports brand.

01:39:05.000 We all get that.

01:39:06.000 You were canceled in one second, totally excommunicated from the company you were working at, and things were going great.

01:39:13.000 Correct.

01:39:14.000 I'm not clear on exactly why.

01:39:18.000 So they just told me that a high-profile person complained about something that I said on social media.

01:39:23.000 And the day before, I commented on that video where you had a debate about trans with Matwalsh.

01:39:29.000 And I just said, as Gavin McKinnon has said, trans people are mentally gay.

01:39:34.000 Oh.

01:39:34.000 And where did you comment?

01:39:35.000 Was this on YouTube or Facebook?

01:39:38.000 That was on YouTube.

01:39:41.000 YouTube.

01:39:42.000 Wait, you have an accent.

01:39:44.000 Where are you?

01:39:46.000 Hey.

01:39:46.000 Congratulations, your first French color.

01:39:49.000 Nice.

01:39:50.000 Pauli Vous.

01:39:52.000 Oh, vous comment.

01:39:56.000 Ou en France.

01:39:57.000 Lyon, Paris.

01:39:58.000 I have a question about that.

01:39:59.000 How do they find your YouTube unless they're watching?

01:40:03.000 Unless they're watching the video and they see your comment and recognize your name.

01:40:07.000 Is there a way that they could search you and see your comment history on YouTube?

01:40:12.000 Here's the thing.

01:40:13.000 I have sort of a minor YouTube channel.

01:40:15.000 It used to be in my name.

01:40:17.000 After a while, I changed it.

01:40:18.000 But the fact is that Google, they still remain your original URL if you'd search by the name and you can still find the person.

01:40:26.000 Whoa, and you could find all their activity.

01:40:28.000 But that sounds like someone's searching for the person.

01:40:31.000 So someone at your office was out to get you?

01:40:34.000 No, no, there's no office.

01:40:36.000 We work fully remotely.

01:40:37.000 Well, you know what I mean, asshole.

01:40:39.000 Someone from your company was out to get you.

01:40:42.000 No, I don't think it is.

01:40:44.000 There could be a...

01:40:45.000 Sponsored athletes, maybe a big athlete.

01:40:48.000 I feel like companies have a job for a person to scour the team's social media.

01:40:53.000 That has to be a job.

01:40:54.000 Jobs are hard because I used to have my job in my social media bio.

01:41:00.000 Big mistake.

01:41:00.000 Lesson learned there.

01:41:02.000 But that was pretty crazy.

01:41:06.000 Or it could have been somebody ratting.

01:41:08.000 Wait, where in France are you again?

01:41:11.000 I'm in Tahiti in French Polynesia.

01:41:13.000 What the fuck?

01:41:15.000 You're in Tahiti in French Polynesia.

01:41:18.000 So it's a French colony and everyone is normal there, but French. 1.00

01:41:24.000 There must be some hot bitches there. 1.00

01:41:28.000 Yeah, especially the mixed breed, so to speak. 1.00

01:41:31.000 Half Polynesian, half French, or half Polynesian, half Chinese.

01:41:35.000 Ooh, your poor dick. 0.73

01:41:37.000 It must look like Freddy's skin.

01:41:41.000 It's pretty, you know, like tan skin and clear, like blue or green eyes.

01:41:46.000 That was Marlon Brando's fetish.

01:41:49.000 Rich and powerful.

01:41:50.000 So you commented on a YouTube video.

01:41:53.000 You said, ask Gavin McInnes, trans are mentally ill gays, and you're completely canceled within one second.

01:42:00.000 Yeah, I guess the next day.

01:42:02.000 And there was obviously no, I understand from the legal standpoint, like they didn't want to discuss it, but they were like, even without context, we can't be associated with it.

01:42:12.000 This is Gavin's paradise.

01:42:15.000 50% of suicide rates among gay, even if you want to dig down that rabbit hole, it's still there. 1.00

01:42:22.000 It's a factual statement.

01:42:24.000 So it's pretty crazy.

01:42:27.000 As Ben Shapiro pointed out, they have a higher suicide rate than Jews in Germany in 1942.

01:42:35.000 Oh, wow.

01:42:36.000 I hadn't heard that one.

01:42:37.000 That's pretty well.

01:42:38.000 They walk?

01:42:39.000 Yeah.

01:42:40.000 Okay, thanks for calling, buddy.

01:42:42.000 That's fascinating.

01:42:44.000 So we were just saying.

01:42:46.000 We were just saying trans people, like post-op transsexuals, they have a higher suicide rate than Jews in Germany in 1940. 1.00

01:42:56.000 Where did you get that bullshit from?

01:42:59.000 Ben Shapiro?

01:43:00.000 He just made it up.

01:43:01.000 No, no.

01:43:02.000 Ben Shapiro is a Jewish guy, too.

01:43:04.000 Yeah, it's not an anti-Semitic statement.

01:43:07.000 No.

01:43:07.000 You seem to be a very good idea.

01:43:09.000 There are not 6 million transvestites of homosexuals.

01:43:13.000 I hate to talk about that.

01:43:14.000 Per capita.

01:43:15.000 Per capita, yeah.

01:43:16.000 Per capita.

01:43:17.000 Like, you know, I guess let's just throw numbers out hypothetically.

01:43:22.000 I guess 30.

01:43:26.000 12% of Jews were committing suicide back then.

01:43:30.000 So let's say the trannies are like 18%. 1.00

01:43:32.000 No, I think they're like 40.

01:43:35.000 40?

01:43:36.000 I remember hearing like 40%.

01:43:37.000 Oh, yeah, with the trans community. 1.00

01:43:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:43:38.000 The trans community is like 40%.

01:43:40.000 Yep, I do remember that.

01:43:42.000 Now, let's discuss why elephants and wildlife are disappearing.

01:43:47.000 Elephants, bears.

01:43:50.000 Bears?

01:43:51.000 What are elephant bears?

01:43:52.000 Soon our children won't even be able to go to a zoo.

01:43:56.000 It'll be non-existent.

01:43:58.000 Throughout the world, elephants are being slaughtered.

01:44:01.000 Hippos, rhinos, tigers, lions.

01:44:07.000 Only thing that's going to exist is the cocker roaches and snakes.

01:44:12.000 And Tinkerbell.

01:44:14.000 And Tinkerbell, of course.

01:44:16.000 Uh, w Why is this?

01:44:20.000 Because mankind is destroying the Earth.

01:44:23.000 They've already seeked out to destroy each other with wars.

01:44:27.000 Now they want to destroy Mother Nature.

01:44:31.000 But what do you mean, mankind?

01:44:32.000 Like, who in particular?

01:44:34.000 All men? 0.95

01:44:36.000 In general, yeah.

01:44:39.000 Except you're an exception.

01:44:41.000 You're a nature lover.

01:44:44.000 Wait, I have a perfect drop for that, and it is.

01:44:47.000 With respect to Chris McGinnis, because the law is different with respect to him.

01:44:54.000 Exactly.

01:44:55.000 Where did he come from?

01:44:57.000 Here's a fun letter.

01:44:58.000 Gayest song ever. 1.00

01:45:01.000 This song is called The Gayest Song Ever. 0.97

01:45:03.000 It's from a woman named Kristen.

01:45:05.000 And she says this was an audition song on American Idol.

01:45:08.000 Caught me totally off guard.

01:45:09.000 I couldn't stop laughing.

01:45:10.000 The propaganda is real.

01:45:13.000 Plus, his name is Taylor Faggins.

01:45:16.000 No, it is not.

01:45:17.000 I mean, come on.

01:45:18.000 No, it's not.

01:45:19.000 She says to start the video at 105.

01:45:21.000 Okay.

01:45:23.000 Taylor Faggins.

01:45:24.000 That was a rough kindergarten.

01:45:27.000 Today's theme seems to be people who suffered in early grade school.

01:45:31.000 His brother Bilbo Faggins had it.

01:45:33.000 He was okay.

01:45:34.000 He wanted to just.

01:45:35.000 Is he going to sing or what?

01:45:37.000 Yeah.

01:45:39.000 Ahmad Arbury.

01:45:42.000 Oh.

01:45:44.000 Oh, Lord.

01:45:45.000 You went for a run, cause you probably felt free.

01:45:52.000 I think Tinky wants a triple tequila.

01:45:54.000 Ahmad Arbury.

01:45:57.000 Ahmad Arbery.

01:45:59.000 Ahmed Arbery.

01:46:00.000 Your run had an end that nobody could see.

01:46:06.000 Your run had an end that no one could see.

01:46:08.000 Can we write a retort song?

01:46:10.000 Yeah.

01:46:10.000 Breonna Taylor, you a colossomy bag for gangsters come.

01:46:16.000 Your run had an ending that everyone could see.

01:46:19.000 You were casing joints and then you took off.

01:46:23.000 You were not jogging.

01:46:28.000 Look at this.

01:46:28.000 No one could dare do anything but stare and go, this is intense.

01:46:33.000 Wake-up call.

01:46:35.000 Oh, you're kind of bumming me out, dude.

01:46:37.000 Yeah.

01:46:38.000 And you're wrong.

01:46:40.000 Little black boys don't run outside or play with water guns at night. 0.99

01:46:47.000 They run away.

01:46:48.000 Still play with real guns.

01:46:49.000 Play with water guns tonight.

01:46:50.000 He's talking about the kid who had a toy gun.

01:46:53.000 He was eight years old.

01:46:54.000 It was a BB gun.

01:46:56.000 He was shooting people with it.

01:46:58.000 The cops showed up.

01:46:59.000 He pointed this perfect replica of a gun at a cop, and he got shot.

01:47:05.000 Tinkerbel.

01:47:07.000 What do you mean?

01:47:07.000 Hey, Tinkabel, no, no.

01:47:09.000 Yay! 0.99

01:47:09.000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 0.99

01:47:11.000 Oh, God.

01:47:13.000 I think she should be the new MC. 1.00

01:47:16.000 That's a big piss.

01:47:20.000 Okay, go back to Armin Arbore while I clean up this piss.

01:47:23.000 Such a little bit.

01:47:24.000 I had a nickel for every time I heard that.

01:47:29.000 And little black boys don't go to the stores or use their pockets anymore. 0.98

01:47:37.000 I've seen a pack of black guys go to a Target.

01:47:40.000 Next time I'll walk before I come here.

01:47:44.000 So wait a minute.

01:47:45.000 Little Black Boys is Mike Brown?

01:47:48.000 The little black boy going to the store is Mike Brown or Taylor Trayvon Martin?

01:47:56.000 You know what happened is this guy did his audition and everyone went.

01:47:59.000 Yeah, sounds good.

01:48:00.000 Go ahead.

01:48:00.000 I don't want to be the one to start.

01:48:01.000 You're going to Vegas, dude.

01:48:02.000 Yeah, you win.

01:48:04.000 That's thumbs up.

01:48:06.000 If this was thumbs up, don't shoot.

01:48:09.000 Thumbs up, don't cancel.

01:48:10.000 Yeah.

01:48:11.000 If this was that show, what is the show where they like press the button, they all spin around?

01:48:15.000 It would just be like...

01:48:15.000 The voice.

01:48:17.000 Fucking Aubrey spinning around. 1.00

01:48:20.000 Come back.

01:48:20.000 I changed my mind.

01:48:22.000 It looked like Lionel Ritchie was in pain listening to that.

01:48:27.000 Lionel Richie can't be famous.

01:48:29.000 Oh, that's Lionel Ritchie.

01:48:31.000 Yeah.

01:48:33.000 Long way from dancing on the ceiling.

01:48:36.000 Or the Commodores.

01:48:38.000 Right.

01:48:38.000 The Commodores.

01:48:38.000 Slumming in the basement.

01:48:41.000 He's worth an ungodly amount of money.

01:48:47.000 Oh, great.

01:48:48.000 Here we go.

01:48:48.000 Your peace was ended by police burglars.

01:48:55.000 Your drug dealers?

01:48:58.000 Police burglars.

01:49:03.000 Are you talking about the peace she had?

01:49:04.000 No, that's a good idea.

01:49:05.000 She's saying exactly what you predicted.

01:49:06.000 Little black girls. 0.93

01:49:09.000 What do little black girls do? 1.00

01:49:11.000 Let's see.

01:49:11.000 They don't fuck two drug dealers at once, have a dead body in their rental car, pose with guns and say, he's got my back, and then eventually die in a shootout with police because you live in a drug dealer's house.

01:49:26.000 See, that's the difference between like white drug dealers. 0.93

01:49:29.000 They go, yeah, that's the life I chose.

01:49:32.000 My girlfriend died when I got in a shootout with cops.

01:49:37.000 That's kind of what I bit off.

01:49:40.000 I bite off what I can chew.

01:49:41.000 Not like, what did they come by my house?

01:49:44.000 All I was doing was dealing drugs.

01:49:48.000 It's insane.

01:49:50.000 I want to hear this.

01:49:51.000 Oh, little black girls don't close their eyes or walk the streets alone at night. 1.00

01:50:00.000 They turn their cameras on.

01:50:02.000 No, they walk in packs, wearing shower caps, and they will fuck you up.

01:50:06.000 When they see white.

01:50:10.000 Oh.

01:50:11.000 And little black girls don't open doors or use their pockets and need more. 1.00

01:50:19.000 Can someone tell them what they're living for?

01:50:23.000 They don't use their pockets?

01:50:26.000 Pajama pants don't usually have pockets.

01:50:31.000 They need more.

01:50:38.000 I can't believe they air.

01:50:40.000 By the way, little black girls should be scared in like Compton where Mexican gangs might kill them. 1.00

01:50:46.000 But I don't think that's what he's going for.

01:50:48.000 No.

01:50:49.000 Well, they don't use their pops.

01:50:53.000 That was the line.

01:50:56.000 Little black girls don't close their eyes when they see white. 1.00

01:51:00.000 Oh, my God.

01:51:01.000 That's the pattern.

01:51:02.000 That's what's happening.

01:51:03.000 It's just her frame of mind.

01:51:08.000 Agreed.

01:51:19.000 I love all these white people petrified of like even blinking. 0.99

01:51:23.000 Like, yep.

01:51:25.000 It's like when, what's his name, was bearing the brunt of it.

01:51:29.000 And he's like, I grew up without the lies and the myths.

01:51:32.000 And every white person in the room is going, uh-huh, uh-huh.

01:51:35.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

01:51:40.000 Mm-hmm.

01:51:41.000 Yep.

01:51:42.000 Okay.

01:51:42.000 I have no problem with that.

01:51:43.000 That's great.

01:51:46.000 All I can say is, screw Obama.

01:51:49.000 That's right.

01:51:49.000 Great point.

01:51:57.000 We need love.

01:52:00.000 We need more.

01:52:01.000 Yeah.

01:52:01.000 More what?

01:52:02.000 Love?

01:52:02.000 I bet you do.

01:52:04.000 Reparations.

01:52:06.000 Little black boys and girls are scared.

01:52:09.000 Mike Proud is a little bit more so unprepared.

01:52:14.000 The world sees black, no matter what you wear. 0.99

01:52:20.000 What?

01:52:21.000 He needs to change that line to pay.

01:52:29.000 Damn it.

01:52:30.000 I would love him to like stop.

01:52:33.000 So these little black boys and little black girls.

01:52:37.000 Let's see you.

01:52:38.000 See you.

01:52:39.000 A big brother reality sizzle reel of Breonna Taylor for a week, Trayvon Martin for a week, Mike Brown for a week.

01:52:47.000 Do you want to see what went on that week?

01:52:49.000 It's not little black boys and little black girls reading Charles Dickens and trying to save the world. 0.87

01:52:57.000 Trying to turn their lives around and help people and play Uno and not close their eyes.

01:53:04.000 Breonna Taylor was the bad bitch of the drug dealers in her community. 1.00

01:53:10.000 She held their money because if they get busted, they don't want to lose their money. 0.98

01:53:14.000 She fucked them both, two guys. 1.00

01:53:16.000 She's part of a polyamorous fuck fest. 1.00

01:53:19.000 Mike Brown was a relentless criminal who was kicking the shit out of anyone who stood in his way.

01:53:25.000 He was not little by any means, by the way.

01:53:28.000 He was a fucking beast.

01:53:30.000 And Trayvon Martin, much to his friend's middle-class chagrin, he was kind of a normal kid.

01:53:36.000 But he decided to get into that thug life, yo.

01:53:40.000 As they all said, stop, stop, dude.

01:53:42.000 You're turning into a fucking thug.

01:53:43.000 You're better than that.

01:53:44.000 He's like, fuck that.

01:53:45.000 I'm a fucking get out there.

01:53:48.000 I'm going to make a name for myself.

01:53:50.000 I'm a good gangster.

01:53:52.000 Let's get to the basic.

01:53:53.000 You're an undercover, talented singer.

01:53:58.000 Well, he was the lead singer of a band called Anal Chinook.

01:54:01.000 Anal Chinook, yeah.

01:54:02.000 I heard you formed the Temptations.

01:54:04.000 I worked with the Temptations for many years.

01:54:08.000 They were reluctant to let me on stage.

01:54:09.000 What about the Drifters? 0.96

01:54:11.000 Drifters?

01:54:13.000 All three of those bands, I was only allowed to do studio recording.

01:54:17.000 And when they went on tour, they would pretend that there was some sort of complication, which hurt.

01:54:23.000 I'm not going to lie.

01:54:25.000 I got to piss again.

01:54:27.000 Little black boys, no. 1.00

01:54:32.000 What do you think the conversation after that was with Betty Perry?

01:54:42.000 What is it?

01:54:44.000 Luke Bryan and Luke Bryan.

01:54:45.000 What about Johnny Mathis?

01:54:47.000 I feel like it was like, did I like, did I...

01:54:50.000 Did I hear all that?

01:54:52.000 I was trying to cry.

01:54:53.000 Were you trying to cry?

01:54:54.000 They were just worried.

01:54:55.000 They didn't look concerned enough.

01:54:57.000 Like, did I look like I was honoring that enough?

01:55:01.000 They probably could have gotten canceled if they could.

01:55:03.000 But what about Johnny Mathis?

01:55:06.000 I don't know who...

01:55:06.000 Wait, who's Johnny Mathis?

01:55:08.000 A certain smile, a certain way.

01:55:18.000 Do you think they would have been canceled if they yawned during that?

01:55:21.000 Oh my God.

01:55:21.000 Wouldn't it be awesome, though, if one of them said, you know what?

01:55:24.000 I made a good amount of money.

01:55:25.000 I got 20 million in the bank.

01:55:27.000 I'm going to fucking sabotage my career right now.

01:55:31.000 And then when they go, so what do you think, judges?

01:55:33.000 And the country guy's like, I got to be honest, that's a pile of horseshit.

01:55:38.000 I just had to Ryan, I said, what do you think the off-camera behind-the-scenes conversation between Lionel Ritchie, Luke Bryant, and Katie?

01:55:46.000 Because we're all worth well over $100 million each.

01:55:49.000 So Lionel Ritchie.

01:55:51.000 He's worth literally half a billion dollars.

01:55:53.000 Right, he's on board.

01:55:54.000 Luke Bryant?

01:55:55.000 You can't roll your eyes.

01:55:56.000 But I think the other ones, you can look at the other person and be like...

01:56:01.000 Yeah.

01:56:02.000 I think Luke Bryant was like, I had an itch.

01:56:05.000 If I was a little white boy and act like an asshole, I got to wrestle him with the jail.

01:56:09.000 Yeah.

01:56:09.000 You got the shit beaten out of you.

01:56:11.000 Does it make you feel like you were handcuffed to a kid?

01:56:13.000 You're a fucking moron.

01:56:14.000 You're never a little white boy or a big dude.

01:56:18.000 Exactly.

01:56:20.000 I would love him to say this is horseshit, and you obviously don't know anything about these cases.

01:56:25.000 You don't know about, you're going for this really juvenile narrative of what happened in these various cases.

01:56:32.000 It's fucking potential.

01:56:32.000 And it's embarrassing.

01:56:33.000 It's pathetic.

01:56:34.000 Pathetic.

01:56:35.000 And then the guy would be done.

01:56:37.000 He'd have to move to fucking rural Kentucky.

01:56:40.000 He'd be over, but at least he would have died with his boots on.

01:56:44.000 Today in the news, a 17-year-old, a gang member, was hiding from police.

01:56:51.000 So a 12-year-old kid to protect him shot at the cops, and the cops murdered and shot to death a 12-year-old black kid.

01:57:00.000 I think you're thinking of a week ago, and it was a four-year-old, and they didn't shoot the kid.

01:57:05.000 Oh, yeah, that just happened tonight.

01:57:08.000 So it happened again.

01:57:09.000 Wow.

01:57:10.000 Okay.

01:57:11.000 I think that was a few days ago.

01:57:12.000 It was a four-year-old.

01:57:14.000 No, no.

01:57:15.000 Just tonight, a 12-year-old black kid was shot to death by police.

01:57:22.000 He was shooting at police to protect his 17-year-old friend.

01:57:27.000 They killed him.

01:57:28.000 Well, if you're shooting bullets at me?

01:57:30.000 Yeah, well, you can shoot somebody and not kill them.

01:57:33.000 Shoot them in their arm, their leg. 0.99

01:57:36.000 They shot to kill.

01:57:37.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:57:38.000 You're right.

01:57:39.000 I apologize.

01:57:40.000 I thought you were talking about a different case.

01:57:41.000 I patronized it.

01:57:43.000 I was wrong.

01:57:44.000 What's the opening paragraph there?

01:57:47.000 Plain clothes, Philadelphia police officer fatally shot a 12-year-old boy in the back Tuesday night, moments after a bullet was fired into an unmarked car, police said.

01:57:55.000 Police identified the youth as Thomas Siderio Jr., saying officers took him to Penn Presbyterian Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead a few minutes after the shooting.

01:58:04.000 The police statement Wednesday described Sederio as white.

01:58:07.000 So what do you think of that Brianna case that was murdered?

01:58:12.000 Well, we were just discussing it, Sil, and I said that she was in with the wrong crowd.

01:58:16.000 Yeah, she was.

01:58:17.000 That's what she signed up for.

01:58:19.000 Yep.

01:58:19.000 You know, in fact, I would argue she liked the danger.

01:58:23.000 She liked the fact that she could die at any moment.

01:58:25.000 It was sexy to her.

01:58:26.000 Could be.

01:58:28.000 And the media painted it as a sweet little couple.

01:58:31.000 And they went out for dinner, and then they came home and played sad.

01:58:35.000 As one does.

01:58:36.000 Human life is wasted.

01:58:37.000 It's sad.

01:58:38.000 That's what Maddie and I do.

01:58:39.000 We'll go to the bar, and then after, I'm like, I don't want to be at the bar, but I don't want to go home.

01:58:43.000 And Maddie would go, you want to play Uno? 0.85

01:58:46.000 And I'll be like, yeah, I'd love to, dude.

02:00:20.000 the supermodel on the couch know her Mike Honcho Los Angeles she's a local in our neighborhood in the South Bronx she's a legend here and we said hey Syl, instead of talking to you on the street and drinking a beer with you at our local, 1.00

02:00:36.000 we'd love to have you on the show.

02:00:37.000 And she said, yes.

02:00:39.000 What about the famous Thinkabelle?

02:00:41.000 I heard she did TV back in the 70s.

02:00:44.000 Yeah, you were on TV, right, Syl? 0.97

02:00:47.000 In the 70s?

02:00:48.000 I was in Greenwich Village in the comedy club.

02:00:52.000 Well, that kind of vibe.

02:00:54.000 Are my friends gay because they mock me for drinking Budweiser all the time?

02:00:58.000 Nope.

02:00:58.000 Same guy.

02:01:00.000 Nope.

02:01:00.000 It's the king of beer.

02:01:01.000 What's wrong with Ballantine beer?

02:01:03.000 Ballantine Ale?

02:01:04.000 Yeah, good point.

02:01:05.000 Shout out to Dalton, too.

02:01:06.000 Hello.

02:01:07.000 Typed in.

02:01:08.000 Malt liquor.

02:01:10.000 Mar lejo.

02:01:11.000 Let's take a call.

02:01:15.000 Let me get this up real quick.

02:01:19.000 All right.

02:01:20.000 Michael, men becoming pussies. 0.99

02:01:23.000 Hey, guys.

02:01:24.000 How you doing?

02:01:25.000 Hey, man.

02:01:25.000 What's up?

02:01:27.000 Hey, so love the show, by the way.

02:01:30.000 And I wanted to share that my girlfriend recently watched an episode and really liked Ryan's impression.

02:01:36.000 However, she thought that his impression of the guy with the list, I forget his name.

02:01:42.000 Jesse Lee Peterson.

02:01:43.000 Jesse Lee Peterson.

02:01:45.000 She thought that was really Ryan.

02:01:46.000 And when it went back to his regular face, she said it's just an impression.

02:01:50.000 So he's actually pretty funny.

02:01:52.000 That's wonderful.

02:01:53.000 But the main reason I'm calling is I'm getting, I've noticed a pattern, which, you know, I don't really get in very many fights as an adult.

02:02:00.000 I'm in my early 30s now.

02:02:02.000 But people always tend to escalate things, like they get into shoving matches or things like that.

02:02:06.000 And I've never played that game.

02:02:07.000 I always, you know, de-escalate if I can.

02:02:09.000 But as soon as someone touches me, it's on.

02:02:11.000 You know, I'll knock them out.

02:02:13.000 And this happened to us at a bar recently with, you know, with my girlfriend.

02:02:17.000 And these guys, or not these guys, guys at the bar, but one of the guys was being real, real friendly, real flirty, whatever.

02:02:22.000 And he kept touching my girlfriend on the arm and shoulder and stuff while he's talking to her.

02:02:25.000 And she was getting uncomfortable.

02:02:27.000 She's pulling away from him.

02:02:28.000 So I slapped his hand down and I said, hey, man, cool.

02:02:30.000 Don't touch her.

02:02:31.000 And he goes, sorry, sorry.

02:02:32.000 We kept talking.

02:02:33.000 Everything's cool.

02:02:34.000 I'm ordering another beer.

02:02:36.000 And out of my peripheral, I see him do the same shit.

02:02:38.000 But this time it's like the front of her shoulder.

02:02:40.000 And he slides his hand down to like accidentally touch her tit.

02:02:43.000 So I turned and immediately just punched him right in the face.

02:02:46.000 And I didn't expect him to go down like a sack of potatoes, but he did.

02:02:49.000 I caught him on the way down.

02:02:51.000 So he didn't hit his head.

02:02:52.000 Nice.

02:02:52.000 I, of course, get kicked out because the bartender sees me hit a guy.

02:02:56.000 She doesn't see him touch her tit first.

02:02:58.000 I was military police, so I wasn't worried about the legal ramifications.

02:03:01.000 I know I'm allowed to defender like that, but I was wondering what your guys' thoughts are with, I mean, this guy's like texting her now.

02:03:07.000 She's a realtor, so he had her number and like threatening to sue me and all this bullshit.

02:03:11.000 And I don't, we have this stupid litigious culture. 1.00

02:03:13.000 So I'm really wondering, you know, there should be a limit where you just leave the situation, be the bigger man, or was I right, you know, to punch a guy in the face for defending her honor really for grabbing her tit?

02:03:26.000 Yeah, I mean, the problem is you do something like that.

02:03:30.000 By the way, if he had hit his head and died, you're looking at manslaughter.

02:03:34.000 But the problem with those kind of things is so you do nothing, that creep grabs your tits, and you sleep, you go to bed at night for the next infinity years going, I'm a fucking pussy.

02:03:48.000 Why did I allow that to happen?

02:03:50.000 And you hate yourself, which is a much worse punishment than getting sued or getting beat up or getting arrested.

02:03:57.000 So, you know, Anthony Coome is like, fuck it.

02:04:00.000 I'm old.

02:04:01.000 If I see shit happening, I walk away.

02:04:04.000 I mean, the shit like 15 black teenagers with knives and an old lady are getting attacked.

02:04:12.000 I guess you're walking into a death sentence.

02:04:15.000 So there's horrible situations like that.

02:04:17.000 But if it's like some creep at a bar, that's kind of easy.

02:04:21.000 You got to punch him.

02:04:22.000 And then I think the really important thing is to get the fuck out of there.

02:04:26.000 Really quick.

02:04:27.000 Oh, we took off.

02:04:27.000 The security warned me.

02:04:28.000 Like, how do they know who you are?

02:04:30.000 And I told him, I'm like, no, I'm out.

02:04:33.000 How did they catch you?

02:04:37.000 In my opinion, 100% did the right thing.

02:04:40.000 100%.

02:04:41.000 Well, I will say that the sex we had that night was super high.

02:04:45.000 It was like Niagara Falls down there.

02:04:46.000 So you defended her honor, and now she's going to fucking suffocate. 1.00

02:04:50.000 Yeah, nothing a woman loves more than. 0.99

02:04:51.000 She told her mom about it, too, and her mom was absolutely in love with it.

02:04:55.000 Listen, girls' panties get wet when you're defending them. 1.00

02:05:01.000 That's what you're supposed to do.

02:05:03.000 A man has to, first of all, have you forgiven your mother?

02:05:08.000 Shit.

02:05:09.000 His mother didn't do anything wrong.

02:05:11.000 Does the live show go on later?

02:05:13.000 Because I'd love for her to hear this episode.

02:05:16.000 You can replay it.

02:05:17.000 You can replay the episode.

02:05:18.000 Nice.

02:05:20.000 I love the show.

02:05:22.000 Jesse Lee, are you a particularly violent individual?

02:05:25.000 No, I won't get into fights.

02:05:27.000 When I was younger, I used to scrap.

02:05:29.000 All the time, we used to scrap.

02:05:30.000 We call it scrapyard in my front porch.

02:05:34.000 Because people walk by, I just hit them for no reason.

02:05:36.000 It was wild.

02:05:37.000 Yeah, it was crazy.

02:05:38.000 Okay.

02:05:39.000 I like that.

02:05:40.000 I like that.

02:05:41.000 I had to get up.

02:05:42.000 It wasn't so amazing.

02:05:43.000 So I had to, you know, I had to forgive my mother.

02:05:46.000 Peter.

02:05:47.000 Peter.

02:05:48.000 You better step it up a little bit because that's amazing.

02:05:51.000 That's amazing.

02:05:52.000 It was amazing.

02:05:54.000 It's not as good as ice cream soup, but it's close.

02:05:58.000 Hey, Sel, do you get turned on when you see a guy getting a fight for a sense of honor, whether he's defending a woman or defending himself?

02:06:07.000 Yeah, I like that.

02:06:08.000 Does that make you horny?

02:06:09.000 I don't want to get turned on, but I appreciate it.

02:06:13.000 Does it make your pussy wet? 1.00

02:06:14.000 So when a man defends your honor, like if you're out with a guy and some other guy tries to hit on you and your man steps up and tells him, hey, that's my girl, back off.

02:06:26.000 And they get into little fisticuffs.

02:06:29.000 How do you feel about that?

02:06:31.000 I like it.

02:06:32.000 Love it.

02:06:33.000 Amazing.

02:06:34.000 It's amazing.

02:06:35.000 Can you say amazing?

02:06:36.000 That's what a man's supposed to do.

02:06:38.000 There you go.

02:06:39.000 Sil, can you say amazing?

02:06:42.000 Amazing.

02:06:44.000 And I don't mean amazing grace either.

02:06:48.000 Okay, we're coming to the end of the show.

02:06:50.000 Got two minutes left.

02:06:53.000 Someone sent us in a letter called Breast Mutilation. 0.86

02:06:58.000 And it says, after eight attempts of acquiring better tits, what do we got here? 0.99

02:07:05.000 Oh, God.

02:07:06.000 Breast augmentation? 0.99

02:07:08.000 Better tits. 1.00

02:07:09.000 Better tits. 1.00

02:07:10.000 Better tits. 1.00

02:07:12.000 Better tits, better ingredients. 1.00

02:07:13.000 Papa Jones.

02:07:15.000 I'm not a big titanium.

02:07:16.000 Oh, not safe for anybody, by the way.

02:07:19.000 Let's check it out here.

02:07:20.000 Oh, my God.

02:07:21.000 So we got those balloons in the top left.

02:07:23.000 That's a bad move.

02:07:24.000 The bottom left, I mean, I don't like them, but they're not the worst.

02:07:27.000 Yeah, then look at those kind of cars.

02:07:30.000 They look horrible.

02:07:31.000 They look autoficial.

02:07:32.000 That's got to be a drug dealer just like giving her money to destroy herself. 1.00

02:07:38.000 It looks like the one in the top left looks like they went in through the navel.

02:07:42.000 How is that eight?

02:07:43.000 That's three.

02:07:44.000 It looks like plastic surgery.

02:07:46.000 Oh, yeah, 100%.

02:07:48.000 Yeah, that is likely plastic surgery.

02:07:51.000 Well, you see the little scar above the navel?

02:07:54.000 Yep.

02:07:54.000 That was the way they used to go in and put the implants in through there so you wouldn't have scars underneath.

02:08:01.000 Fucking gross.

02:08:03.000 Just leave us with your shitty tits. 1.00

02:08:05.000 We never asked you to change.

02:08:08.000 The worst thing ever is feeling a girl's titties and you can feel the implants. 1.00

02:08:13.000 Yes.

02:08:14.000 I broke up with a girl because of that.

02:08:16.000 We had long talks about my problems with her.

02:08:19.000 Why do women outlive men? 1.00

02:08:22.000 Why do women outlive men? 1.00

02:08:24.000 Yeah.

02:08:26.000 I think nature has designed them to be more important so they're more valuable because they breed.

02:08:33.000 Less stress, too.

02:08:34.000 Less stress, too.

02:08:35.000 We outwit them, outsmart them.

02:08:37.000 Behind every man, there's a woman. 0.99

02:08:41.000 Pushing them, telling him to stop doing all this stressful, successful stuff.

02:08:46.000 Pegging him.

02:08:48.000 You're not capable of having a baby, carrying it in your belly for nine months. 1.00

02:08:53.000 Nope.

02:08:54.000 You couldn't handle it.

02:08:55.000 Women can. 1.00

02:08:57.000 That's true.

02:09:00.000 They call us the weaker sex.

02:09:02.000 They're out of their minds.

02:09:04.000 They are out of their minds, Syl. 0.99

02:09:06.000 And that's the end of the show.

02:09:09.000 Speaking of fake tits, before you change something about yourself, before you make these drastic reductions or drastic plans to change the course of your life, make sure it is an issue first.

02:09:22.000 I think a lot of us want to correct things that don't need correcting.

02:09:26.000 We're constantly fixing ourselves, improving ourselves.

02:09:30.000 Not just how we look, but how we behave.

02:09:33.000 We're doing something wrong.

02:09:35.000 Maybe you're not doing something wrong.

02:09:36.000 Maybe everything you're doing is pretty reasonable.

02:09:39.000 I mean, make sure it pits in your boyfriend's or husband's mouth if you're going to have plastic surgery on your tits. 1.00

02:09:49.000 Amen.

02:09:50.000 So be moral, be honorable, help people.

02:09:55.000 Don't be lazy.

02:09:57.000 Clean your room.

02:09:58.000 Do your job.

02:09:59.000 Show up to work on time.

02:10:00.000 But, you know, outside of that, I don't know if what you're doing is so bad.

02:10:04.000 And I don't know if you need to be improved that much.

02:10:07.000 Maybe you're looking a little too much outwards for ideas on self-improvement and not enough inwards.

02:10:15.000 In other words, I'm proud of you.

02:10:17.000 You're doing a great job.

02:10:20.000 So, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:10:27.000 Beautiful.

02:10:28.000 That was beautiful.

02:10:34.000 I might be in prison.

02:10:43.000 I don't remember getting a strike.

02:10:56.000 The red damn fight is me to his off.

02:11:02.000 I don't want to death in a fear.

02:11:08.000 Sucking eyes.

02:11:09.000 They make it so they make it right.

02:11:19.000 Why we burn it?

02:11:30.000 Yeah.

02:11:36.000 You do that shit, Buffalo.

02:11:41.000 I can't really hard.

02:11:47.000 I don't like the buckshit.

02:11:53.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

02:11:59.000 It's not a joke.

02:12:07.000 My son's on the cover of a magazine.

02:12:13.000 Nothing wrong with that.

02:12:18.000 Speaking.

02:12:24.000 Wake up on this music front.

02:12:40.000 Up from the engines.

02:12:43.000 Up to your fingers.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 04, 2022

GOML LIVE #138 - INTRODUCING SYL

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