Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 07, 2022


GOML LIVE #138 - INTRODUCING SYL (Part 1)

Topics
lat spread baseball strike jail cuisine Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Matty O'Dell Cher Hillary Clinton Tinkerbell Putz Sam Harris Donald Trump Alex Jones Spicarama Maddie Biden Dude Max Hare Ryan Katsu-Rivera Shitty Kitchen Little Kitchen Mother Rucker Corey Feldman Charlie Sheen and 23 more
GOML LIVE #138 - INTRODUCING SYL S4E95 - DON'T SAY GAY

Episode Stats


Length

38 minutes

Words per minute

138.25

Word count

5,311

Sentence count

777

Harmful content

Misogyny

59

sentences flagged

Toxicity

218

sentences flagged

Hate speech

43

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gavin McInnes is joined by Ryan Katsu Rivera (Shitty Kitchen) and Matty Odell (Maddie's Shitty Kitchen). The guys talk about guns, farting, and the dumbest dumbbells you can use to lift weights. Also, Gavin talks about how he's a pussy and Ryan talks about farting a lot. Get Off My Lawn is a podcast hosted by Gav, Matty, and Ryan. Produced in Los Angeles, CA and edited by Riley Bray. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in the world of Gav and Ryan! P.S. Don't forget to tell us what you thought of the episode and what you think of it in the comments section below! Got a rebuke? we'd love to hear your thoughts on a future episode of GAVIN'S PLACE on the pod. Send us a message and we'll get it on the next episode! Thanks for listening, Matt & Ryan Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ and Cheers. -EDUCATION -Gav & Matty & Ryan, AKA The Putts -The Best Podcasts EVER! -GAVIN & RYAN RANEYE & THE PODCAST EVER AGAIN! - P.O. & CHEERRADIO AND RYERRYAN WELCOMEVERYTHING! - THANK YOU! -PODCAST WITH A FRIENDS AND MADDIE'S SHITTY KELLY AND GOULDY'S BECAUSE HE'S AVAILABLE? -THEY'LL HAVE A PRODUCING A PROOF AND GIV ME A TALKING ABOUT THIS EPISODES AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S GOOD AND TAYLOR AND OTHER THAN THAT AND A THAN A THING AND A VOTY AND A MOST OF THOTTERRY AND AN IDEA AND A PEDCAST AND A FOLKEYS AND A TOTALLY SOMETODCAST AND SOMETOR AND A JOTIE AND A DOUBLY SOMETORY AND A LOT MORE AND A LIP AND A GOTTER AND A PLOT AND A COULTER?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:03.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:41.000 Hello, America, and the rest of the Western world.
00:00:44.000 I'm sure there's a few holdouts in the Eastern world.
00:00:47.000 Japan?
00:00:48.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
00:00:50.000 Welcome back, Matty Odell.
00:00:53.000 The co-host with the most.
00:00:54.000 What's going on, everybody?
00:00:55.000 Good to see you.
00:00:56.000 The star of Maddie's Shitty Kitchen, which is a raging hit.
00:01:00.000 Thank you.
00:01:01.000 Glad it went well.
00:01:02.000 And of course, Ryan Katsu Rivera, a.k.a.
00:01:05.000 The Putts.
00:01:06.000 That's right.
00:01:07.000 As you know, the way this show goes is we are live and free for the first half hour.
00:01:15.000 Then we go behind a paywall.
00:01:18.000 The reason we're free is because sponsors pay for the first half hour.
00:01:22.000 Sponsors like
00:01:24.000 Tactical Walls, veteran-owned Tactical Walls.
00:01:27.000 Go to TacticalWalls.com for the best products in America.
00:01:31.000 Use the promo code GAVIN for 20% off all orders.
00:01:36.000 TacticalWalls.com. 0.98
00:01:37.000 You know, it's funny, reading this copy, it used to be like a paragraph and a half of like, we rock and he's a veteran and you know, don't fucking, fuck you with my heels on, all this fun stuff that he would use inside jokes. 0.99
00:01:49.000 And I kept ridiculing the copywriter until I broke him. 0.59
00:01:53.000 Gavin 15 also works as a promo code.
00:01:56.000 And now it just says in brackets, say whatever you want.
00:01:59.000 Yeah.
00:02:01.000 And I can't even help but make fun of that.
00:02:04.000 Dude, whatever is one word.
00:02:07.000 So you wrote, say whatever you want.
00:02:10.000 That's so I'm even making fun of you quitting your job as a copywriter. 1.00
00:02:15.000 You're fucking that up. 1.00
00:02:16.000 Promo code Gavin15, Gavin, Modwall, look at this shit. 1.00
00:02:21.000 Show off your guns, enjoy yourself. 0.99
00:02:23.000 We are currently at 100%.
00:02:26.000 Veteran-owned sponsors on Get Off My Lawn.
00:02:31.000 Not one of our sponsors is not veteran-owned.
00:02:33.000 You know why?
00:02:35.000 Because when you support a slightly controversial show like this, you get attacked by the mob.
00:02:41.000 And when veterans get attacked, they act the way we all used to act in the 80s, which is what?
00:02:47.000 Oh, you got a problem with them? 1.00
00:02:49.000 And fuck off. 1.00
00:02:52.000 As opposed to now where they go, I'm sorry, we'll take care of it. 1.00
00:02:55.000 It won't happen again.
00:02:58.000 So most cool people live in areas that are not in the South Bronx where you can have a gun.
00:03:06.000 And we don't live there.
00:03:07.000 So on our tactical walls, we have bric-a-brac.
00:03:11.000 Some mugs.
00:03:13.000 We've got E.T.
00:03:15.000 That's a statue my wife gave me with the fingers crossed. 0.59
00:03:18.000 And it says, please be a fart. 0.99
00:03:21.000 And I was just saying earlier, since COVID fried my guts, my farts don't smell like shit anymore. 0.99
00:03:28.000 So I fart with reckless abandon. 0.99
00:03:31.000 I was at the gym earlier, brought the kids to boxing, and I'm surrounded by Mexican gentlemen.
00:03:37.000 Jalapeno was there.
00:03:39.000 And I'm just farting. 1.00
00:03:41.000 Now, normally, you would let a fart like that go and people go, what the fuck, dude, what's the matter with you? 0.99
00:03:48.000 But because it smells like a burnt match, people just go, oh, I guess there was, like, fireworks here yesterday. 0.99
00:03:56.000 It's kind of a gift.
00:04:01.000 Yeah, I'm jealous I'm not full cobalt.
00:04:03.000 You're not full cobalt?
00:04:04.000 No. 1.00
00:04:05.000 My wife says my shit still, like, smells like shit, but also cobalt. 1.00
00:04:09.000 Dude, I was mentioning on Anthony's show, people call me a pussy for this. 1.00
00:04:09.000 Or weird. 1.00
00:04:15.000 Tell me if this is a pussy, okay? 1.00
00:04:17.000 It's the drop-down bar, whatever you call that, 105 pounds, 20, then 20, you're sitting on a chair and you're pulling it to your chest, then 20, and then 95 bar, 20 shrugs, and then 20 of these. 1.00
00:04:39.000 All of that three times.
00:04:40.000 How much weight are the these?
00:04:43.000 Is it a bar or dumbbells?
00:04:44.000 95.
00:04:44.000 Whoa.
00:04:44.000 Well, 95 is a bar.
00:04:47.000 No, the bar is a bar.
00:04:49.000 The bar and the weights is 95.
00:04:51.000 Gotcha.
00:04:52.000 The pulldown, and I can't even lift my arms up, the pulldown is, that was 105.
00:04:57.000 Oh, the lat pulldown, where you're sitting down, you pull the bar down.
00:05:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:01.000 Lat pulldown. 0.96
00:05:02.000 Yeah, it does the V. It's kind of gay to know all the names, Ryan. 0.99
00:05:06.000 I mean, putts. 0.99
00:05:07.000 I don't know all the names.
00:05:09.000 I got a good spread nowadays, but...
00:05:09.000 Yeah, the lats.
00:05:12.000 Yeah, let me see your spread. 1.00
00:05:14.000 What do you mean?
00:05:14.000 What?
00:05:15.000 Well, it's hard to describe how to do it, but basically you would go like... It's known as your wings.
00:05:21.000 Your wings.
00:05:22.000 See these?
00:05:23.000 Oh, these?
00:05:24.000 It's weird to do, but you could easily raise your arms and not engage them, but to let the curtain go out, you have to kind of roll your arms forward, yeah.
00:05:32.000 Okay, you want to play hardball?
00:05:34.000 Yeah.
00:05:34.000 I'll show you my wings.
00:05:36.000 They're fucking basically bat wings. 0.99
00:05:39.000 No, no, no. 0.99
00:05:40.000 I'm Alex Jones.
00:05:41.000 I've turned into Alex Jones.
00:05:43.000 Go like this.
00:05:43.000 You have to relax your... You have to relax your arms.
00:05:47.000 You're not, like, tensing your arms. 0.98
00:05:49.000 Damn relaxed. 0.99
00:05:50.000 You're just rolling. 0.99
00:05:51.000 Now, you put your arms down.
00:05:53.000 And now, out to the side.
00:05:55.000 Like, yeah.
00:05:57.000 And now, try to push these things forward.
00:06:01.000 Like, kind of rock your... Like, point this part of your elbow forward.
00:06:05.000 That was your shoulder.
00:06:06.000 Okay.
00:06:07.000 Kinda.
00:06:08.000 Okay, so do that until you could feel these, like, this meat.
00:06:13.000 Until you feel this meat coming forward.
00:06:14.000 Okay, this is tedious.
00:06:15.000 This is tedious.
00:06:16.000 Stuff.
00:06:17.000 It's really not easy to do unless they're, like, totally big.
00:06:21.000 You know, I feel like it's a waste to be standing here and being this sexy without a chick, a groupie by my side.
00:06:29.000 Oh. 1.00
00:06:30.000 Let's get some fucking bitches in here. 1.00
00:06:33.000 Let's get some groupies. 1.00
00:06:34.000 Do you have any girls you could call on?
00:06:36.000 I do. 1.00
00:06:38.000 Shall we get some chicks up in this bitch? 1.00
00:06:39.000 Hell yeah! 1.00
00:06:40.000 Alright, let's do it!
00:07:17.000 Yeah, the lat spread is hard.
00:07:25.000 I don't want to... You don't want that?
00:07:27.000 I don't want to knock that over. 0.99
00:07:28.000 It's garbage. 0.99
00:07:30.000 It doesn't really exist. 0.99
00:07:36.000 Okay, I'm good.
00:07:37.000 And you can lean on these TVs.
00:07:38.000 This is Silk.
00:07:43.000 You may recognize her as the doctor from Futurama. 0.96
00:07:47.000 The mad woman of the South Bronx, Mother Rucker. 0.99
00:07:51.000 She's a loco. 1.00
00:07:53.000 Born and raised in the South Bronx.
00:07:55.000 We're big fans.
00:07:58.000 Married seven times.
00:08:00.000 Seven is a lucky number.
00:08:03.000 A lot of people, a lot of BIPOCs. 1.00
00:08:06.000 Oh yeah, hell yeah.
00:08:07.000 You had a lot of black indigenous people of color. 0.93
00:08:09.000 You had five black husbands? 1.00
00:08:11.000 Yes.
00:08:12.000 One Jew boy, and one Spicarama. 1.00
00:08:18.000 Spicarama, that's my favorite show.
00:08:21.000 And what would you call your... Are you Jewish, Italian, what are you? 0.98
00:08:25.000 I'm a nut job. 0.99
00:08:27.000 Okay. 0.97
00:08:28.000 I'm a Jew girl, and one quarter Russian, and pure Americana.
00:08:33.000 But you're wearing a Christian cross.
00:08:35.000 Well, I converted.
00:08:37.000 Jesus helped me out, so I said, OK, you're my man, Jesus.
00:08:41.000 Nice.
00:08:42.000 How did Jesus help you out?
00:08:44.000 Well, how?
00:08:46.000 Yeah.
00:08:48.000 He smiled on me.
00:08:48.000 You had lung cancer for a while.
00:08:50.000 He smiled on me and said, I'll show you the right way to be.
00:08:55.000 I said, OK, you're my man.
00:08:56.000 I'll follow you.
00:08:58.000 OK, so you're Christian.
00:09:01.000 He was king of the Jews.
00:09:05.000 I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
00:09:20.000 No, I did not make it to church yesterday. 1.00
00:09:23.000 So you're going to hell in a handbasket.
00:09:25.000 He hasn't gone to church in 27 years.
00:09:27.000 I don't think Ash Wednesday is a priority.
00:09:31.000 No, it's not a priority.
00:09:32.000 I heard you burnt down St.
00:09:33.000 Peter's.
00:09:36.000 Could have happened.
00:09:36.000 Was that 15 years ago?
00:09:38.000 Can we still talk about that?
00:09:39.000 If I walked in, the walls fell down.
00:09:41.000 The Vatican, the Pope is hiding when he hears your name. 0.99
00:09:47.000 He locks himself in the bedroom and says, uh oh, here comes the crazy American. 0.98
00:09:56.000 This is the thing about dudes in bars. 0.63
00:09:59.000 You'll have a bar buddy for 10 years and then you'll go, do you have kids?
00:10:05.000 Or like, what's your job? 0.89
00:10:06.000 Are you gay? 0.95
00:10:10.000 Like how long before we knew Dee, I won't say his name in case he's watching, but like I didn't know he was gay until two years of knowing him. 0.99
00:10:19.000 After he wrapped his tongue down your throat you knew he was gay. 1.00
00:10:25.000 I didn't know he was gay until he came from me fucking him. 1.00
00:10:29.000 That's like wow, what kind of fag is enjoying himself like this? 1.00
00:10:33.000 Meantime his Indian 1.00
00:10:35.000 Cochise will murder him tonight. 0.97
00:10:37.000 Look out, South Bronx. 0.98
00:10:39.000 We'll hear them wail and rock. 0.99
00:10:41.000 Here comes Stinkerbell, the virgin, the only virgin in the USA, the only girl who's a friggin' virgin. 0.99
00:10:49.000 And she's not Catholic either. 0.98
00:10:51.000 Syl, you can't see, but Syl is referring to her chihuahua, who is in the studio.
00:10:55.000 Pick her up, put her on the... Oh, she's in my room. 0.88
00:10:59.000 There she goes.
00:10:59.000 Get her set up here.
00:11:01.000 I have actually a nice little
00:11:07.000 Oh, she'll like it.
00:11:08.000 She loves olives.
00:11:09.000 Well, it's more of a... for her to go to the bathroom on, isn't it?
00:11:16.000 You bit me last time.
00:11:18.000 She's playing hard to get. 0.90
00:11:20.000 Well, she's mad because I put a dress on her. 1.00
00:11:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:11:23.000 Can you pick her up?
00:11:25.000 I can't go that low.
00:11:27.000 She won't bite you.
00:11:28.000 She bit me before. 0.95
00:11:29.000 No, she won't now.
00:11:32.000 She wants to be picked up.
00:11:36.000 She's good now.
00:11:37.000 I'm like once burnt, twice shy.
00:11:40.000 So yeah.
00:11:42.000 What are your religious beliefs, Matty O'Dell?
00:11:44.000 Like I said, I was born and raised Roman Catholic.
00:11:49.000 I don't know if I... Do you believe in God?
00:11:54.000 Yes.
00:11:55.000 Do you believe you will go to heaven when you die? 0.79
00:11:57.000 Maybe.
00:11:59.000 I'm hoping.
00:12:00.000 He's hoping.
00:12:01.000 Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
00:12:05.000 Yeah, I believe Jesus was the Son of God, you know, the Holy Trinity.
00:12:10.000 What about you?
00:12:12.000 Well, my father told me when I was a wee little girl, there's only one God.
00:12:17.000 Man calls Him by many names.
00:12:20.000 And His name's not Budweiser.
00:12:23.000 Well, your dad was wrong.
00:12:25.000 Because Jesus was the King of Kings, but Budweiser is the King of beers.
00:12:34.000 Bravo Bud!
00:12:36.000 Go Bud! 1.00
00:12:36.000 To get the Mets in the Knicks! 1.00
00:12:38.000 Go Bud! 1.00
00:12:39.000 Screw the Yankees!
00:12:42.000 So we were going to go through Biden's speech the other night.
00:12:46.000 A lot of people said we should have live streamed it.
00:12:49.000 I guess I should be open to that, but I just see like... That's good in a dementia home, a nursing home. 0.99
00:12:55.000 He's a lame duck. 0.97
00:12:56.000 He's Mr. Magoo. 0.96
00:12:58.000 What were the highlights?
00:12:59.000 He said you can surround Kiev with tanks, but you'll never win the heart of Iranians. 1.00
00:13:05.000 Yeah, the hearts and minds of the Iranians.
00:13:06.000 He said a wall can't keep out the vaccine.
00:13:10.000 I don't know.
00:13:11.000 Oh, he switched on.
00:13:12.000 He said let's fund the police now.
00:13:15.000 Yeah, but that wasn't a typo, Putz. 0.98
00:13:17.000 Plus, he's a racist. 0.73
00:13:20.000 Did you see Nancy Pelosi going like this? 1.00
00:13:22.000 Yeah, she's an asshole. 1.00
00:13:24.000 Her mouth is too big from sucking dick all the time. 1.00
00:13:28.000 Any Republican, she's sucked off, so they hate her guts. 1.00
00:13:32.000 She's got fantastic tits, though, for her age. 1.00
00:13:35.000 Yeah, sure. 0.99
00:13:37.000 Plastic surgery will do it all the time. 1.00
00:13:39.000 Yeah, fake tits. 1.00
00:13:40.000 Do you wear a bra? 1.00
00:13:43.000 I forgot it.
00:13:44.000 Tinkerbell wanted it.
00:13:45.000 We had a fight and I didn't have time to put on. 0.99
00:13:48.000 My tits fell. 1.00
00:13:49.000 When you get old, your ass fell. 1.00
00:13:51.000 Balls. 1.00
00:13:52.000 Your tits fall. 1.00
00:13:53.000 The only thing that don't fall is your belly button. 1.00
00:13:56.000 Gravity.
00:13:57.000 Gravity gets its revenge as you get older.
00:13:59.000 I'm still active.
00:14:00.000 Right. 0.99
00:14:01.000 Would you say you still have a sexual libido, Syl? 0.98
00:14:04.000 Oh yeah, I don't know why people think when you're older you have no sex urge. 0.98
00:14:08.000 I've been a passionate sex freak the day I was born. 1.00
00:14:14.000 You're a freak. 1.00
00:14:17.000 Would you call yourself an American hoe? 1.00
00:14:19.000 An American slut. 1.00
00:14:20.000 I'd say more an American call girl slut. 1.00
00:14:27.000 American call girl slut. 1.00
00:14:28.000 That's far more, yeah. 1.00
00:14:30.000 Have you ever done sex work? 0.95
00:14:33.000 Did I get paid for sex? 0.98
00:14:35.000 Yeah.
00:14:39.000 No, you could get paid for sex from the time of dawn civilization to now until 10,000 years later.
00:14:48.000 Sex... Look, God gave us three things. 1.00
00:14:51.000 Suck oxygen, have the desire to eat, and fuck your brains out for sexual urge. 1.00
00:14:57.000 Okay? 1.00
00:14:57.000 We all have it. 1.00
00:14:59.000 With some, it's more than others.
00:15:00.000 Some are buried, you gotta bring it about.
00:15:03.000 Now, the host of the show and the co-host
00:15:08.000 No he's not. 1.00
00:15:09.000 Matt and I have fucked hundreds of women. 1.00
00:15:18.000 Ryan's probably plowed like 20. 1.00
00:15:26.000 I'm not gonna say my number, that's not... Say your number!
00:15:30.000 No, I don't know my number.
00:15:30.000 He goes along quietly seducing them, this Japanese Chinaman.
00:15:34.000 You know who the best lovers are supposed to be? 1.00
00:15:36.000 Japanese men.
00:15:37.000 Really?
00:15:38.000 Yeah.
00:15:39.000 It's like they have to work for it, you know, like... No, they don't have to work for it.
00:15:43.000 They send in a kamikaze! 0.98
00:15:45.000 Since we're not gifted... And everything explodes! 1.00
00:15:48.000 That's how they eat pussy, like kamikazes, they just go... 1.00
00:15:54.000 They whip themselves to death. 1.00
00:16:09.000 You alright?
00:16:11.000 I don't think she feels safe up here.
00:16:14.000 It's alright, baby.
00:16:15.000 Sit on this.
00:16:15.000 Sit on the mats.
00:16:17.000 Did you know there's a baseball strike going on?
00:16:19.000 Yeah, I just found out yesterday.
00:16:21.000 I found out yesterday, too.
00:16:23.000 And people go, you're not a sports fan if you don't know this.
00:16:26.000 Did everyone know this?
00:16:28.000 Syl didn't know this.
00:16:30.000 Oh, I knew it.
00:16:32.000 Last time I checked, none of those teams were putting money in my bank account. 1.00
00:16:37.000 But the last big baseball strike was the Montreal Expos asking for so much money that they just said, fuck you, and they left. 0.99
00:16:45.000 And that was the end of baseball in Montreal forever. 1.00
00:16:48.000 The end of the stadium, the end of culture, the end of childhoods.
00:16:52.000 Over.
00:16:53.000 Yeah.
00:16:54.000 Don't they make ten million dollars a year? 1.00
00:16:54.000 What are these fuckers? 1.00
00:16:56.000 Yeah, they do. 1.00
00:16:57.000 Well, some make more than that.
00:16:58.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:16:59.000 And they're all retards, too. 1.00
00:17:01.000 It's not like they need a yacht. 0.99
00:17:02.000 Their tastes are like fancy steak.
00:17:05.000 They're not exactly bright.
00:17:07.000 Cocaine, occasionally. 1.00
00:17:09.000 And pussy. 1.00
00:17:10.000 Pussy. 1.00
00:17:11.000 That's not that expensive. 1.00
00:17:12.000 A million dollars a year, you can do all the coke and pussy and vacations you could possibly handle. 1.00
00:17:12.000 No. 1.00
00:17:21.000 But you don't get Hillary Clinton's seal of approval.
00:17:26.000 I don't think... What's next?
00:17:29.000 So the opening day's been delayed? 0.77
00:17:31.000 I think Hillary Clinton is an undercover dyke. 1.00
00:17:31.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:17:35.000 Yeah, it's called a walkout. 1.00
00:17:38.000 I don't understand all of it. 0.98
00:17:40.000 We should do a sports show where we all just try to guess what the fuck is going on. 0.98
00:17:44.000 I agree with you, Sil, that... 1.00
00:17:46.000 Hillary's a dyke. 1.00
00:17:47.000 I think she was fucking Uma Abedin, that hot pachyderm. 1.00
00:17:50.000 She probably was. 1.00
00:17:51.000 What's the matter with your eyes? 1.00
00:17:55.000 Are you sad because you wanted to fuck Hillary and Uma got her? 1.00
00:18:00.000 No, she's not my type. 1.00
00:18:01.000 Now Bill Clinton's got a loose stick and a loose mouth. 1.00
00:18:05.000 He's fucked so many Southern Belles that his head is chiming. 1.00
00:18:10.000 Wow. 0.99
00:18:16.000 Uh, on that note, we should, uh, we did a live chat here where we raised money for Max Herr and Jon Kinsman who, uh, got in a 17-second fight with Antifa and are spending four years in prison for it.
00:18:30.000 I have an update on that, actually.
00:18:33.000 So, Max and Jon are in separate prisons, but
00:18:37.000 In both prisons, everyone is getting fucked over with the six months they all worked on to have taken off their sentence.
00:18:46.000 Matty's more of an expert than me, but my understanding is you go to prison, if you work in the cafeteria, you work here and there, they take six months off your sentence.
00:18:55.000 If you do a year and a half,
00:18:57.000 Yeah.
00:18:57.000 $0.06 an hour.
00:18:58.000 In Florida you make $0.03.
00:18:58.000 In stock market.
00:19:17.000 You know it's more than the allotted good time but they got charged with violent crime so they got to do 85% which is like 54 days a year good time but like we used to in the feds we would get six months halfway house which you could get lose and all that shit but it's called IPA in the states.
00:19:35.000 Yes that was it.
00:19:36.000 Max said we all lost our IPA.
00:19:38.000 So word on the street is not from Max Hayer COs don't punish him from this but I talked to other people
00:19:45.000 at Governor.
00:19:47.000 Gouverneur.
00:19:49.000 And they just said, yeah, we're canceling all IPAs for the entire prison.
00:19:55.000 We don't care if you've been scrubbing the floors, teaching English, teaching Spanish. 1.00
00:20:00.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:20:02.000 So he's sitting around and someone's eating an apple and they're chewing it and then spitting the skin on the ground. 1.00
00:20:09.000 And he's like, can you stop doing that? 0.57
00:20:11.000 That's disgusting. 0.76
00:20:14.000 And the guy's just like.
00:20:17.000 Now, there's a red button that the CEO pushes to say inmates are fighting and our friend may or may not have said to the CEO, are you going to push the red button? 0.99
00:20:30.000 Because I'm about to fucking lose it. 0.97
00:20:33.000 And the CEO goes, Nope. 0.99
00:20:36.000 So whack-a-mole! 0.99
00:20:38.000 He picks up the apple eater, slams him on his back, knocks the wind out of him, tunes him up a little bit, and he's handcuffed and denied all his privileges, but who gives a fuck? 0.99
00:20:48.000 He's in there for another year. 0.99
00:20:50.000 Four years, folks.
00:20:51.000 He's still got another year.
00:20:53.000 And we had all this big party planned for him.
00:20:56.000 And as Matty pointed out, there's no party.
00:20:59.000 You got to get right to your location after you're released.
00:21:04.000 So it's like a race to beat the clock from the moment you're released to when you check in at night, especially when you're in the Canadian border area.
00:21:12.000 Yeah, they take that into consideration, but before you get released, you have to tell them if you're going to take public transport, like if they're going to give you a bus ticket to the train station and then take the train to give you more time. 0.99
00:21:24.000 At least give them a fucking party. 0.99
00:21:27.000 I hear you. 1.00
00:21:28.000 When we were in Cuba, me and my dad were shitfaced. 0.85
00:21:31.000 He was drinking vodka out of a Milwaukee-like king can. 0.98
00:21:35.000 And there was a Chinese guy there and totally racist entertainment. 0.75
00:21:40.000 I'm not talking long ago, by the way.
00:21:42.000 This is like 10 years ago.
00:21:44.000 And the guy's up there and they go, so where are you from?
00:21:47.000 And he goes, oh, I'm from Toronto.
00:21:48.000 And they go, I don't think so.
00:21:53.000 All the Cubans are laughing like the staff and everyone in the audience is going, oh, because they're from Toronto with him.
00:22:00.000 And then they do this banana eating contest where they blindfold you and you have to eat bananas, but they blindfold everyone.
00:22:06.000 Then they take everyone blindfolds off.
00:22:08.000 So this Asian guy is fanatically eating bananas alone.
00:22:14.000 And then they're done and they go, oh, you win.
00:22:16.000 And he's like, oh, he doesn't realize that he's been alone eating bananas with a blindfold when everyone's unblindfolded, which is probably funny in primitive cultures. 0.97
00:22:25.000 But me and my dad were just like, oh, for fuck's sakes, give him a bottle of vodka. 0.98
00:22:32.000 Give him a prize. 0.99
00:22:35.000 And I feel the same way about prisoners.
00:22:36.000 You did your time.
00:22:37.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:22:38.000 Have a party when you get out for fuck's sake. 0.99
00:22:40.000 But now he's got supervised release. 0.99
00:22:42.000 Now a lot of people knock the South Bronx.
00:22:45.000 You get the greatest people.
00:22:48.000 Even Paul Newman made a movie in the South Bronx.
00:22:52.000 What was that?
00:22:52.000 The Go-Getters.
00:22:54.000 Port Apache.
00:22:57.000 Fort Apache, isn't that the worst police station?
00:23:00.000 That's just up the street from us.
00:23:01.000 Isn't that the worst police station on earth?
00:23:03.000 Yeah, but the people that live around there are the greatest human beings.
00:23:08.000 They'll share their chicken with you, their milk, their women. 0.99
00:23:12.000 They're great!
00:23:13.000 Now, when we walk around the South Bronx, we're petrified.
00:23:17.000 At least, I'm speaking for myself here.
00:23:19.000 Me and Putz. 0.95
00:23:20.000 Murderers everywhere. 0.91
00:23:21.000 There's murderers all over the world.
00:23:25.000 When you were a young girl in the South Bronx, skipping along, playing stickball.
00:23:29.000 That's so hard to remember.
00:23:32.000 But was it dangerous back then?
00:23:34.000 In the, what, 60s?
00:23:35.000 No more than it is now.
00:23:37.000 Come on! 0.61
00:23:39.000 You're saying the South Bronx is just as dangerous now as it was in the 60s?
00:23:42.000 Hell yeah. 0.99
00:23:44.000 As long as you don't act scared of them, they ain't gonna fuck with you. 1.00
00:23:47.000 You act scared of them, they're gonna hurt you. 0.98
00:23:50.000 Have you ever been mugged or assaulted?
00:23:52.000 Oh yeah.
00:23:55.000 You could have an aneurysm on a toilet!
00:23:58.000 You never know.
00:23:59.000 Oh, have you ever been attacked or assaulted in the South Bronx?
00:24:04.000 No.
00:24:05.000 Really?
00:24:07.000 Wow. 1.00
00:24:08.000 As long as you act like you're not scared in your mind, your P's and Q's, I ain't gonna fuck with you. 1.00
00:24:14.000 I wonder if it's because then they assume you live there, so they don't want to shit where they eat. 0.99
00:24:18.000 They don't know whether you live there or not. 0.99
00:24:20.000 I was a little girl.
00:24:21.000 I think they could tell that you're from the South Bronx.
00:24:23.000 With a bow and pigtails.
00:24:24.000 No, they don't know.
00:24:26.000 I don't look... Well, people thought I was Irish. 0.99
00:24:28.000 I was just a crazy nutjob. 0.90
00:24:29.000 They didn't know if I was Irish or not. 1.00
00:24:33.000 So what if I kissed a blondie's throat every three steps? 1.00
00:24:36.000 They didn't know.
00:24:40.000 OK, so we're going to go behind the paywall soon, but I like to show the cheapskates who don't subscribe the culture of the show.
00:24:48.000 So maybe we should take some calls and let's change things with the super chat.
00:24:53.000 OK, because last time I felt I felt it was abusive.
00:24:59.000 Was abusive.
00:25:00.000 I felt hampered.
00:25:02.000 I didn't feel free.
00:25:04.000 Right.
00:25:04.000 When I had to read and read and read every $5 thing.
00:25:07.000 So the cheap ones we'll put up on the screen by all means.
00:25:11.000 But I'm only going to read the $100 ones for Max and John.
00:25:15.000 Sounds good.
00:25:16.000 OK.
00:25:16.000 All right.
00:25:16.000 So we're going to start the show.
00:25:18.000 Let's start the show.
00:25:23.000 Oops.
00:25:24.000 Uh oh.
00:25:25.000 What happened here?
00:25:26.000 Careful, Syl, you're about to get attacked by an eagle and Donald Trump.
00:25:31.000 Oh, I know what happened.
00:25:32.000 That was exciting.
00:25:34.000 I know what happened here.
00:25:35.000 We've got some sort of technical glitch.
00:25:37.000 Boop.
00:25:38.000 OK, what happened? 1.00
00:25:39.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99
00:25:42.000 She's right. 1.00
00:25:44.000 Here we go.
00:25:45.000 Oh, watch out, Sylvia.
00:25:50.000 And then an eagle takes him away.
00:25:51.000 Are you a Trump? 0.85
00:25:56.000 Hell no.
00:25:57.000 No.
00:25:59.000 I always knew his personality, him as a man.
00:26:07.000 As a president, the only good thing he did was get a lot of jobs for Americans.
00:26:12.000 So that part was good. 0.99
00:26:13.000 But Biden's a fuckin' wimp. 1.00
00:26:19.000 He's a reaper? 1.00
00:26:21.000 Yeah, he's a reaper too, but he's also a retard. 1.00
00:26:24.000 I think he's afraid of the reaper. 0.98
00:26:26.000 You can't understand a word he says.
00:26:29.000 He has dementia and Alzheimer's.
00:26:31.000 What did you expect?
00:26:32.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 Caramel Harris, who hates his guts, is the real president.
00:26:34.000 Agreed.
00:26:39.000 That cunt. 1.00
00:26:41.000 Agreed. 1.00
00:26:42.000 Isn't it funny how Kamala Harris sold herself as black when there's nothing remotely black about her? 1.00
00:26:48.000 She came to fruition.
00:26:51.000 Her formative years were in Montreal. 1.00
00:26:56.000 Fucking bitch. 1.00
00:26:57.000 They got a man off a death row who was innocent. 1.00
00:27:01.000 She tried to block it, the bitch. 1.00
00:27:03.000 She put so many people in jail over tiny bits of marijuana. 1.00
00:27:08.000 She had no fucking good. 1.00
00:27:11.000 If she becomes president, I'll shoot everyone in the ass. 1.00
00:27:16.000 No, not babies. 1.00
00:27:17.000 We allow them to live unharmed.
00:27:18.000 Am I pro-life?
00:27:18.000 I'm pro-me, baby.
00:27:31.000 Have you ever had an abortion?
00:27:33.000 Eight.
00:27:35.000 Besides that? 0.98
00:27:38.000 It's like a plunger sucking your guts out. 0.55
00:27:41.000 So it's not so bad.
00:27:43.000 No, it sounds kind of bad to me.
00:27:46.000 You as a man wouldn't know what true agony as a woman is. 1.00
00:27:52.000 Except when you orgasm all over our bellies and tits. 1.00
00:27:58.000 As they call it in French, le petit mort. 1.00
00:28:01.000 The little death.
00:28:02.000 Yeah, I like that.
00:28:08.000 Let's just read letters as we wait for calls to come in.
00:28:11.000 Ryan, do you want to put the number on the screen?
00:28:13.000 Oh yeah. 0.88
00:28:14.000 Matty's shitty little kitchen was great. 1.00
00:28:16.000 The background music was a nice touch. 0.96
00:28:17.000 It was nice to see Matty doing his thing.
00:28:19.000 Can't wait for the next one.
00:28:21.000 Now Matty, your plan, we talked about making a prison little kitchen. 0.62
00:28:29.000 You want to experience jail cuisine.
00:28:35.000 Which is tricky because there's jail and there's prison, right?
00:28:38.000 And jail is less creative. 0.98
00:28:40.000 Jail is shitty cuisine. 0.98
00:28:42.000 Prison is hardcore. 1.00
00:28:43.000 Bad.
00:28:44.000 Prison is a little different because there's more access to
00:28:49.000 There's microwaves, there's kettles.
00:28:51.000 And the commissaries are a lot bigger.
00:28:53.000 So, we're talking about food.
00:28:55.000 Oh, the food is hardcore.
00:28:57.000 Making food.
00:28:57.000 No, no, no.
00:28:58.000 Because these guys make food in their cells.
00:29:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:29:01.000 So, when you make food in your cell in jail, it's basically ramen is your best bet.
00:29:05.000 And then in prison, you can get a microwave, you can make, like, empanadas.
00:29:10.000 Frozen pizza sticks.
00:29:12.000 Have you ever been to jail?
00:29:14.000 In Miami, yeah.
00:29:15.000 For what? 0.99
00:29:17.000 Prostitution. 0.98
00:29:18.000 Really? 0.99
00:29:22.000 That shocks me.
00:29:23.000 Dane County.
00:29:24.000 I never would have guessed that.
00:29:25.000 I did it for love.
00:29:27.000 What do you mean?
00:29:29.000 You were in love with your pimp?
00:29:29.000 My husband was in trouble, so I turned some tricks to help him out.
00:29:34.000 And how much money did you make?
00:29:35.000 I don't know.
00:29:38.000 Eight, nine hundred.
00:29:40.000 Oh, wow.
00:29:42.000 We got calls.
00:29:43.000 Oh, you want to turn that mic on again?
00:29:45.000 Oh, yes.
00:29:46.000 And Maddie too.
00:29:53.000 Let me just read this letter.
00:29:58.000 Well done on the new output of content on the network lately.
00:30:00.000 Outstanding.
00:30:01.000 My boy still to watch the old G-Dog shows.
00:30:03.000 But Ryan and Matty made a decent show with Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen. 0.96
00:30:06.000 Matty brought his knowledge from the live shows into cooking and Ryan asked all the right questions and got shots.
00:30:12.000 I'm proud of your boy.
00:30:13.000 Okay.
00:30:13.000 Thank you.
00:30:14.000 I appreciate it.
00:30:15.000 I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised at what a hit Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen was. 0.98
00:30:20.000 Delicious.
00:30:20.000 It was fun.
00:30:21.000 I learned.
00:30:22.000 Um,
00:30:26.000 I made a similar meal inspired by your show.
00:30:28.000 Says someone else in Maddie's Little Kitchen.
00:30:30.000 I too am not a trained chef, but love to cook and eat good food.
00:30:34.000 I cook all the big meals in my house.
00:30:36.000 Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter.
00:30:37.000 I've become partial to deep fried my turkeys.
00:30:40.000 Excuse my gas.
00:30:42.000 It's just amazing, easy and delicious.
00:30:44.000 Have you ever tried doing that?
00:30:45.000 Anyway, I love the show, except Gavin.
00:30:47.000 Stop doing that annoying.
00:30:48.000 And then he uses the N word.
00:30:50.000 Mm hmm.
00:30:53.000 That's the worst word there is, right?
00:30:55.000 No.
00:30:56.000 What's the worst word? 1.00
00:30:57.000 Fuck you, motherfucker. 1.00
00:31:01.000 Well, uh, please. 1.00
00:31:03.000 Otherwise the show has been very enjoyable.
00:31:05.000 And then he's included a picture of his steaks.
00:31:08.000 And his potatoes.
00:31:11.000 And his scallions.
00:31:12.000 Oh, and he's got some asparagus there.
00:31:14.000 Have you got that one?
00:31:15.000 It's called Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen, Ryan.
00:31:17.000 No.
00:31:18.000 Okay.
00:31:19.000 It's from a guy named Jason.
00:31:21.000 Got it.
00:31:22.000 Gotta be careful not to dox him.
00:31:25.000 People send in letters anonymously, Syl, because they don't want to be identified with the show.
00:31:31.000 They don't want to get fired for watching.
00:31:33.000 They don't want to get fired watching the show. 1.00
00:31:36.000 They're cowardly. 1.00
00:31:38.000 They don't have a set of balls, no spunk or spirit to them. 1.00
00:31:42.000 They're cowardly. 1.00
00:31:43.000 What's going on with your eyes? 0.94
00:31:44.000 Are these lights bothering your eyes?
00:31:45.000 No, I have a thyroid condition that
00:31:49.000 It burns.
00:31:50.000 No, life don't bother me at all.
00:31:52.000 We got sunglasses.
00:31:53.000 Yeah, I gotta buy some.
00:31:54.000 I was gonna wear them tonight, but I thought you'd think I was incognito.
00:32:01.000 Hey, Matty?
00:32:02.000 In that tactical wall that's above my bicycle, there's a dish of sunglasses.
00:32:08.000 Could you bring one of them over, please?
00:32:12.000 He didn't show us the finished product.
00:32:14.000 I know, that's weird.
00:32:15.000 Who shows ingredients?
00:32:17.000 That's like when you're a little kid and you're working on your first poem and you write out rhyming lines.
00:32:24.000 And then you show, hey mom, look at this.
00:32:27.000 I'm almost ready to start.
00:32:30.000 Maybe this is what he considers cooked?
00:32:32.000 It looks like he's using a heater, like an actual heater.
00:32:34.000 These are for children, but she's petite. 0.99
00:32:37.000 I have a little face.
00:32:38.000 Thank you.
00:32:38.000 Let's see if that works.
00:32:44.000 Thank you, it helped.
00:32:45.000 Really?
00:32:45.000 Oh great.
00:32:46.000 Thank you.
00:32:49.000 We'll leave those there.
00:32:51.000 Have we got a call or should I get another?
00:32:54.000 We do have calls.
00:32:55.000 Okay.
00:32:55.000 Let's talk to a caller and then we're going to leave.
00:32:57.000 Then we're going to go behind the paywall and you guys don't get any of this.
00:33:00.000 You don't get Tinkerbell.
00:33:02.000 You don't get Silk.
00:33:03.000 I heard a beep.
00:33:04.000 Can I talk yet?
00:33:05.000 Yes.
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:05.000 Okay.
00:33:06.000 Sorry.
00:33:07.000 Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:33:08.000 Hello.
00:33:08.000 I'm sorry.
00:33:09.000 No, I'm sorry, caller.
00:33:10.000 I'm sorry.
00:33:11.000 No, no, no.
00:33:12.000 No, it's me.
00:33:13.000 I overstood.
00:33:15.000 I overspoke.
00:33:16.000 I wouldn't shut up.
00:33:17.000 It's me.
00:33:19.000 No, you could speak as much as you want.
00:33:21.000 I'll get to my point real quick here so I could leave you all alone.
00:33:25.000 It's kind of a fan favorite, I think, and I think Phil's insight might make it even better if you listen to just a selection of Ryan's musical output.
00:33:35.000 Oh, thank you.
00:33:38.000 Wait, what?
00:33:38.000 Do you have any suggestions?
00:33:42.000 So hold on a sec.
00:33:45.000 Hold on a sec.
00:33:46.000 This is shocking.
00:33:47.000 So we have a baby monster calling in who enjoys Ryan's music and wants to hear more.
00:33:52.000 Oh, I get it.
00:33:53.000 Ironic.
00:33:54.000 Like Corey Feldman.
00:34:00.000 Well, it just seems to be a fan favorite, so I just want to have... I'm caught up now.
00:34:05.000 You hate him as much as I do.
00:34:07.000 No, it sounds like he enjoys... No, Ryan.
00:34:10.000 It's like going to see Charlie Sheen.
00:34:11.000 You want to hear about tiger blood.
00:34:13.000 Thank you for calling.
00:34:15.000 Yeah, let's hear your latest jams.
00:34:17.000 Okay.
00:34:17.000 Bring it on, Ryan!
00:34:19.000 Thank you.
00:34:20.000 Let's see.
00:34:21.000 I have... This was from today.
00:34:22.000 Oh! 0.60
00:34:23.000 I was doing... He makes terrible music.
00:34:27.000 I do not.
00:34:28.000 It's great.
00:34:29.000 This is Cher.
00:34:31.000 Cher! 1.00
00:34:32.000 All guys love Cher.
00:34:34.000 If there's one thing, you're at the local bar, and you're just like, hey dudes, let's put on some Cher on the jukebox.
00:34:40.000 And everyone's like, thank God.
00:34:41.000 Ryan Frampin.
00:34:45.000 Thank you.
00:34:59.000 No, you sit here.
00:35:01.000 Alright.
00:35:25.000 Is that better?
00:35:26.000 Yeah, much better.
00:35:27.000 You feel that?
00:35:27.000 Yeah.
00:35:28.000 Alright, let me take your mic.
00:35:31.000 I knew your back was gonna hurt.
00:35:34.000 Dang it.
00:35:51.000 No, we have to find a better chair for you.
00:35:54.000 That's the solution.
00:35:56.000 I'll bring one from home.
00:35:58.000 Alright, so I'm gonna be sitting in Syl's spot, but... No, no, I have the mic.
00:36:05.000 That's your mic now.
00:36:06.000 I have your mic.
00:36:07.000 Are we good, Ryan, with switching?
00:36:08.000 Yeah, just aim the mic towards her a little more. 1.00
00:36:13.000 Uh, you can point it down there too, hon.
00:36:15.000 Yeah, you really gotta eat it. 0.99
00:36:17.000 Pretend it's a cock. 0.99
00:36:18.000 Well... Oh, well not... Love it, baby! 0.99
00:36:20.000 This is like ASMR.
00:36:26.000 Uh, so we're going to go behind the paywall now and take some calls and read some live chats and have some fun.
00:36:32.000 But, uh, for all you freeloaders there, you've got to sign up for Censored.tv.
00:36:36.000 Ten bucks a month.
00:36:38.000 All you can eat.
00:36:39.000 Every night.
00:36:40.000 You get Tinkerbell.
00:36:41.000 You get Sill.
00:36:42.000 You get Matty O'Dell.
00:36:44.000 You get Ryan Katzu-Rivera, a.k.a.
00:36:47.000 Putz, doing covers of Cher.
00:36:49.000 I mean, what else is there in the world?
00:36:51.000 Nothing!
00:36:52.000 And if you don't want to join us, well then, as our goodbye, we would like to say to you, get fu- Oh, okay. 1.00
00:36:59.000 Get fucked. 1.00
00:37:00.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 1.00
00:37:23.000 Well, I know that I've been through this
00:37:55.000 I don't know.
00:38:16.000 Do you believe in life after all?
00:38:20.000 I can feel something inside me say...