Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #139 - STOLEN MUSIC

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:20.000 Everybody on the deathbed that there will be some dark songs.

00:00:30.000 Say a prayer for everybody on the deathbed that there will be some dark songs.

00:03:46.000 this song weakness i was only joking when i said i'd like to mash you but he didn't i would get if he said it's an homage he didn't well if it's an homage you wouldn't say i was only joking the same exact lyrics from one of their biggest hits that appears to have what is that 8.9 million views that's correct relatively well-known song pretty common i saw that super hot vapid oh jesus what am i doing maddie odell is here in

00:06:17.000 to death for using a the guy's 78 years old we're still not at the level where they're giving them awards for it they're just giving them light sentences i think if you zoom forward five years they'll start giving them ribbons like you did your part to fight racism well what i find most disturbing about that story is i guarantee if I went on the streets and asked,

00:06:39.000 especially around here in the South Bronx, I asked average Joes, what do you think of that? 1.00

00:06:44.000 I bet you most of them, especially the white people, would be like, well, you shouldn't have said it. 0.72

00:06:48.000 You know.

00:06:49.000 Yeah, but do you deserve to die?

00:06:51.000 It's a bad word.

00:06:52.000 It's very rude.

00:06:54.000 But if you call an old lady cunt, should you be beaten to death? 0.99

00:07:00.000 Speaking of old ladies and cunts, let's bring in our special guest, shall we? 1.00

00:07:04.000 Ladies and gentlemen, part two of our secret special guest, Sylvia.

00:07:24.000 Things can collapse in the trend.

00:07:27.000 I'm afraid I'm telling you I'm okay.

00:07:36.000 Broken heart, I broken train.

00:07:40.000 Brain doesn't work, so don't recommend.

00:07:56.000 You take it everywhere you go.

00:07:58.000 Okay.

00:08:00.000 Well, tonight it's exciting as usual.

00:08:03.000 We're going to talk about love and marriage.

00:08:08.000 Okay.

00:08:09.000 Love and love and marriage.

00:08:11.000 Do you think, if an old man who's 78, I believe that's around your age, calls an African-American gentleman the N-word twice, he said, don't say that again, and he's like, whatever, N-word.

00:08:25.000 I don't use it because I'm an anti-racist activist.

00:08:29.000 What should the young black boy who beat him to death have to what should the consequences be?

00:08:37.000 I think he should just kick him in his nuts and spit on him and walk away.

00:08:43.000 Right.

00:08:43.000 But if the guy kicks him in the nuts so hard he dies, it should be manslaughter.

00:08:50.000 It should be, I don't know, 15 years or...

00:08:52.000 Friendly persuasion, probation, and community service.

00:08:58.000 Okay, no.

00:08:59.000 Now, if you murder an old person, and I'm about to right now, you should go to... 0.99

00:09:05.000 Is that a hen?

00:09:07.000 You should go to jail.

00:09:07.000 Get off my lawn, baby.

00:09:09.000 You should go to jail for a long time.

00:09:12.000 It's murder.

00:09:13.000 15 to life.

00:09:15.000 Okay, well, that was quite a jump from the kicking the balls.

00:09:18.000 What do you think, Maddie?

00:09:20.000 Well, they're going to say that because he only punched them.

00:09:24.000 I don't know all the specifics, but if you punch somebody, you don't necessarily have the intent to kill them.

00:09:34.000 Right, so that's manslaughter.

00:09:35.000 Right.

00:09:36.000 Right, right, right.

00:09:37.000 I mean, every one of us is petrified of a bar fight where you hit the guy and he hits a potted plant on the way down, and next thing you know, he just accidentally killed a guy.

00:09:48.000 It's not premeditated murder.

00:09:50.000 Right.

00:09:51.000 You didn't.

00:09:52.000 There was no...

00:09:53.000 I mean, the intent was there to hit him, but not to kill him.

00:09:56.000 Not to kill him.

00:09:57.000 But yeah, it would still be...

00:09:58.000 It would be like involuntary manslaughter or manslaughter.

00:10:00.000 It should be a few years.

00:10:02.000 Usually like four.

00:10:04.000 It should be more than Max and John who kicked some Antifa that didn't even mind.

00:10:10.000 Yeah.

00:10:10.000 I mean, two years house arrest is.

00:10:14.000 Maybe that's how they do it in Florida.

00:10:16.000 What about being a serial killer and we do not mean sugar pops?

00:10:21.000 Those guys should get...

00:10:23.000 Life.

00:10:24.000 They should just be killed in the electric chair.

00:10:26.000 Yeah, because they're not going to change.

00:10:28.000 You've got to stamp them out like a disease, like we're going to stamp out Putin.

00:10:33.000 I'm very liberal when it comes to punishments, but fucking kids and serial killing, that's just like human garbage. 0.90

00:10:42.000 You're out.

00:10:43.000 You're kicked out of society.

00:10:45.000 Speaking of kicked out of society, you may have noticed I usually look amazing.

00:10:49.000 Amazing.

00:10:50.000 Amazing on the show.

00:10:51.000 Not like a maiden. 1.00

00:10:53.000 And that's because my suits are exclusively made by Nita Fashions.

00:10:59.000 Now, you're not here for the suit episodes, but usually I'm decked out in tailored suits.

00:11:06.000 And I got to say, Nita Fashions, when you wear a suit and a shirt that has been custom-made specifically for you, it's PJs.

00:11:16.000 It's more comfortable than my normal clothes.

00:11:20.000 Like my Sunday clothes or my Thursday night clothes, I just wear these welder pants, my Gucci sneaks.

00:11:29.000 This is less comfortable than my suits.

00:11:33.000 Nita Fashions is so, you look more comfortable.

00:11:36.000 That's why we say, get off my lawn.

00:11:39.000 Yeah, okay, okay.

00:11:41.000 We're doing a commercial right now.

00:11:44.000 So you contact Nina Fashions.

00:11:47.000 Our guys, the baby monsters, seem to prefer DMing through Instagram.

00:11:52.000 Okay, whatever floats your boat.

00:11:54.000 And what they do is they measure you up.

00:11:57.000 You sit there.

00:11:57.000 Your girlfriend will use the whatever it's called, measuring thing.

00:12:04.000 Not measuring tape.

00:12:05.000 Is it tape?

00:12:06.000 Yeah, measuring tape.

00:12:07.000 Okay.

00:12:07.000 Measuring tape.

00:12:08.000 They use the measuring tape.

00:12:09.000 They measure you up.

00:12:11.000 You do your neck and everything.

00:12:12.000 They get your full body.

00:12:13.000 And then they'll make your suit and send it to you.

00:12:15.000 Ship it from Hong Kong.

00:12:18.000 It was described to me by a producer at Fox News.

00:12:22.000 This is like 10 years ago.

00:12:24.000 My top button was undone.

00:12:26.000 And he goes, what are you doing?

00:12:27.000 You look like a fucking clown.

00:12:29.000 And I go, oh, I can't do it.

00:12:30.000 It kind of chokes me.

00:12:31.000 And he goes, yeah, that's for little kids.

00:12:35.000 If your top button can't be done up, you're wearing a shirt that you got off a rack.

00:12:39.000 That's not what adults do.

00:12:40.000 And I go, well, I can't afford to have my own tailor.

00:12:42.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah.

00:12:44.000 First of all, you can.

00:12:45.000 You're just too cheap.

00:12:46.000 And cheap rich guys like me, we go to Nita Fashions where we get everything decked out for totally reasonable prices.

00:12:53.000 You get a shirt for $50.

00:12:55.000 Now, that's the bottom of the line.

00:12:56.000 You can go way up to like $150.

00:12:59.000 And with suits, you could go crazy and get a $3,000 suit, which is the kind of price you have to pay in New York.

00:13:04.000 But you could also go way down, you could get a $600 suit.

00:13:08.000 And this isn't just a suit, this is a custom suit cut to your approval.

00:13:13.000 Perfect.

00:13:14.000 If there's any mistakes, you send it back and they'll tweak it.

00:13:17.000 And now you have a perfect suit.

00:13:19.000 Even if you're a blue-collar welder, you need a suit for weddings, for funerals.

00:13:23.000 You should have at least one suit.

00:13:25.000 Now, if you're a lawyer, you're in marketing, I think you've got to have 10.

00:13:30.000 Is this the reads?

00:13:34.000 So go to Nita Fashions, N-I-T-A, NitaFashions.com, Family Business.

00:13:39.000 We've been going there forever.

00:13:42.000 It's basically every suit I have, every suit you see.

00:13:47.000 And we'd like to thank them for sponsoring the show since day one.

00:13:51.000 Why do you look so mad all the time?

00:13:56.000 You look like you disapprove.

00:13:58.000 I'm just doing a commercial for you.

00:13:59.000 I love it.

00:14:00.000 Okay.

00:14:00.000 I wish they made women's suits.

00:14:03.000 Well, they do.

00:14:03.000 They have a few female clients.

00:14:07.000 I don't know why.

00:14:08.000 I don't want to disrespect Nita's customer base, but I have seen some women there when we do our fittings. 1.00

00:14:14.000 Oh, I forgot to mention that.

00:14:15.000 They'll come to your city, contact them.

00:14:17.000 They do these tours.

00:14:18.000 They couldn't do it because of COVID, but now they do these tours where they're at a hotel in New York, in fucking Berlin, in London, all over the world.

00:14:27.000 You go in there, and then you don't have to have your girlfriend use the measuring tape. 1.00

00:14:31.000 They do it.

00:14:32.000 But sometimes I see women there, and I'm like, what are you doing here? 0.98

00:14:37.000 This is not your area.

00:14:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:14:42.000 Women love coming into our zones. 1.00

00:14:45.000 We do.

00:14:46.000 Like, you come into my bar.

00:14:48.000 That's a man's zone. 1.00

00:14:51.000 We have to make an imprint.

00:14:55.000 Can you hold the mic up to your mouth a little bit?

00:14:57.000 We have to make an imprint to let you know we exist.

00:15:02.000 I think you have to.

00:15:02.000 Because, as they say, it's a man's world.

00:15:05.000 It's a man's world. 1.00

00:15:06.000 I think you just get horny.

00:15:09.000 Oh, we get horny too.

00:15:12.000 Can't factor that out.

00:15:14.000 Even at the gym, like, today I'm watching, I was just doing the workout in the back, but I'm watching the girls in the front. 0.85

00:15:21.000 This is totally sexist.

00:15:22.000 But I'm just like, bitch, what are you doing? 1.00

00:15:25.000 They hit the heavy bag in a way where it could be your actual scrotal sack.

00:15:31.000 And you'd be like, they're loving it.

00:15:33.000 What are you kidding?

00:15:35.000 They're getting off watching you do push-ups.

00:15:39.000 Maybe.

00:15:40.000 You could do the push-ups, so you could do the lat pull-downs.

00:15:42.000 But the girls, they hang around, they're doing the weights, they're doing the lightweights, you know, they're doing the high reps, lots of volume, but not a lot of weight. 0.99

00:15:50.000 No, I'm not even talking about that, Arnold.

00:15:52.000 I don't mind women going to weights. 1.00

00:15:53.000 I understand that.

00:15:54.000 You're toning.

00:15:55.000 But women hitting the heavy bag, they look so silly. 1.00

00:15:58.000 It's dainty.

00:15:58.000 They're going to hurt their hands.

00:16:01.000 They do when they do, like, left, right?

00:16:02.000 They're going, punk, punch.

00:16:04.000 Say that to Mohammed Ali's daughter.

00:16:07.000 I bet you can punch, but she's got a lot of testosterone because of the genetics, you know. 1.00

00:16:13.000 I mean, it's true.

00:16:14.000 I mean, what do you want me to say?

00:16:15.000 It's true.

00:16:16.000 It's true.

00:16:18.000 Anyway, so the women in the gym, they're taking the pictures of themselves with the Instagram and they look in the mirror with the butthole showing. 0.99

00:16:25.000 And it's like, get out of here.

00:16:27.000 You know, it's man's world.

00:16:28.000 Like she said, you know, Sil said it's man's world.

00:16:32.000 Yeah.

00:16:33.000 Their attitude is do it or do it.

00:16:36.000 Do it or do it.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:16:38.000 Doing Arnold is hack, but it's sort of like playing Louie Louie.

00:16:41.000 Like, if you do it well, it's a nice thing to do with a lot of people.

00:16:44.000 I do a subdued one with a lot of his...

00:16:47.000 What people do is they go like, and that's hack.

00:16:50.000 But I watch the pumping ion and I talk about the different things and his different cadences.

00:16:55.000 And so that's where it really picks up a lot of slack where the hack people live off.

00:17:00.000 You know what I noticed?

00:17:02.000 Since I stopped drinking whiskey for Lent, I'm getting into other people's shit and it's bothering them.

00:17:09.000 What do you mean?

00:17:10.000 It makes you into a busybody.

00:17:12.000 Like I could hear my daughter was doing vocabulary questions with my wife and one of the words was cadence.

00:17:18.000 And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, then I get over there and I'm like, the way you remember words is you draw something, you photographic memory.

00:17:25.000 So let's do a drawing for each one of these words, insidious and cadence, and doing drawings and stuff.

00:17:31.000 And she's like, uh.

00:17:33.000 And then they get my salad wrong at the pizza joint.

00:17:37.000 And I'm like, guys, what's going on?

00:17:38.000 I knew you were going to fuck this up.

00:17:39.000 You have these college students working there.

00:17:41.000 And then I see the guy on the street tonight.

00:17:44.000 This was an order they fucked up on Sunday.

00:17:46.000 And he's like, hey.

00:17:47.000 And I go, oh, shit, they're mad at me because I yelled at the woman I hung up on her.

00:17:51.000 So then I go into the place and say, look, man, it's just, it was frustrating that that's twice the salad's been fucked up.

00:17:59.000 And they're like, I didn't even know it was you.

00:18:01.000 And I realized the guy that was like Harump, he's probably got his own problems.

00:18:04.000 His mother might have breast cancer.

00:18:06.000 And I'm sitting there going, they're pissed off that I hung up about the salad thing.

00:18:09.000 Being a non-drunk, you're like worried all the time.

00:18:13.000 Are you mad at me?

00:18:15.000 Did I offend?

00:18:16.000 Even my cousin, we're in the city last night.

00:18:20.000 And he goes, his wife, after the dinner, his wife goes, we're not going to come to the burbs to meet you tomorrow.

00:18:26.000 We've got a bunch of stuff to do.

00:18:27.000 And I'm like, did I fuck up?

00:18:29.000 Did I offend you?

00:18:30.000 Because I was talking about Zelensky all night.

00:18:33.000 I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

00:18:34.000 If someone was offended, you misinterpreted what I said.

00:18:38.000 He's like, will you calm down?

00:18:40.000 My daughter's running errands and my wife doesn't want her running around the city alone. 1.00

00:18:44.000 No liquid courage.

00:18:45.000 It's just non-liquid counseling.

00:18:47.000 It's not like I'm scared.

00:18:48.000 Oh, shit.

00:18:49.000 I'm just receptive of all the answer to that.

00:18:52.000 Yeah, you're like more aware of everyone's feelings.

00:18:55.000 The answer to that is drink up, chump. 1.00

00:19:00.000 When did you last get drunk?

00:19:02.000 Oh, I can't tell.

00:19:04.000 That would be telling on myself.

00:19:06.000 That's a no-no.

00:19:09.000 You were a big drinker in your day, though, right?

00:19:11.000 Never.

00:19:11.000 Nope.

00:19:12.000 No, really?

00:19:13.000 I was Jew in you.

00:19:15.000 Jew stones. 0.83

00:19:15.000 Sit at the peppermint lounge with one screwdriver the whole friggin' night and twist the night away. 0.83

00:19:26.000 Everyone did the twist.

00:19:28.000 I met the beetles.

00:19:30.000 really?

00:19:31.000 Yeah.

00:19:31.000 I went to Paul McCartney and I said, if you're a beetle, they have beetle bugs in Florida, huge beetle bugs with wings.

00:19:42.000 I said, if you're a beetle, let me see you fly.

00:19:45.000 He turned to John Lennon and said, what do I tell the bird?

00:19:49.000 He said, shut her up and tell her, you want our autographs on stupid me? 1.00

00:19:54.000 I said, no.

00:19:55.000 Who the fuck wants you? 0.99

00:19:56.000 No, I don't think they're worth much.

00:19:58.000 Where's the peppermint lounge?

00:20:00.000 That was on 47th Street.

00:20:02.000 Everybody, the young people from all the boroughs would go there and twist the night away.

00:20:12.000 Twitch, twitch.

00:20:13.000 You must be like that?

00:20:16.000 Seems like a ridiculously easy dance.

00:20:20.000 What year are we talking here?

00:20:22.000 We're talking in the 60s and 50s.

00:20:24.000 You've got to bring the mic up closer.

00:20:26.000 We're talking in the 50s and 60s, long before you were born, Gavin.

00:20:31.000 I was born in 1959.

00:20:34.000 Oops.

00:20:35.000 And I used to go to the Peppermint Club as a baby and deal Coke from my diaper.

00:20:43.000 Me, I prefer heroin and Dilauda.

00:20:46.000 Dilauda, wow.

00:20:48.000 Did you do heroin?

00:20:49.000 No.

00:20:50.000 Heroin did me.

00:20:51.000 Speaking of Hebrew National Salami, chopped liver, and pastrami, cats. 0.71

00:20:58.000 Send out pastrami to a boy in the army.

00:21:01.000 Chicken matzo ball soup.

00:21:03.000 Speaking of chicken matzo ball soup, Beard Vet is a veteran-owned company.

00:21:08.000 Almost all of our sponsors are veteran-owned.

00:21:10.000 Outside of Nita Fashions, I think is the only one.

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00:21:21.000 Stay warm and caffeinated with Beard Vet Coffee.

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00:21:36.000 Beard Vet has the El Diablo Coffee Blend, which is what we have here at the office.

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00:21:54.000 Just to the ad sales guy, stop typing out www.

00:22:01.000 The fuck are you doing, dude?

00:22:04.000 I don't think you've had to type www.since 2000.

00:22:09.000 It's a 20-year-old thing.

00:22:11.000 Just go to beardvet.com.

00:22:13.000 Your browser will figure out what you're going for, and it'll handle the HTTP semicolon slash slash.

00:22:21.000 Do you want to go sit down?

00:22:22.000 Yeah, I got it.

00:22:23.000 I got it.

00:22:24.000 Take that mic with you.

00:22:25.000 I'll take it.

00:22:27.000 Why do you wear flip-flops?

00:22:30.000 It's winter.

00:22:31.000 It's snowing today.

00:22:40.000 Sean the owner is one of us, and like all of our sponsors, he's a veteran.

00:22:45.000 Beard Vet Samsung, the national anthem, Beard Vet Kneels to the Cross, Beard Vet charitable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.

00:22:53.000 We support them and they support us.

00:22:55.000 Treat yourself to some excellent coffee and grooming gear.

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00:23:02.000 Caller One and Caller Two tonight are getting a free gift pack with Sean and the Beard Vet team.

00:23:09.000 This isn't a Christmas giveaway.

00:23:11.000 Is it AdGuy?

00:23:12.000 We'll find out the hard way when Caller One and Caller Two show up.

00:23:16.000 But yeah, we have their coffee here right in the equipment room behind us.

00:23:22.000 And that stuff gets us cooking.

00:23:24.000 Maybe one of the reasons this show is so didactic.

00:23:27.000 Didactic.

00:23:29.000 Is because we're on El Diablo.

00:23:32.000 It's equipment.

00:23:33.000 It's equipment for the show.

00:23:34.000 That's why we keep it with the wires and cords.

00:23:36.000 Right.

00:23:37.000 Because it's a functional part of the show.

00:23:39.000 And if you don't want your beard to look like Santa Claus started doing mess, you should try their beard grooming products.

00:23:47.000 I use a little bit of it.

00:23:48.000 I don't need it much.

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00:23:55.000 And again, 15% off when you use Gavin.

00:23:58.000 And please do use Gavin so they can see that this shit works, that this advertising thing works.

00:24:04.000 And also, you're buying coffee, so why not buy coffee from a vet-owned business?

00:24:10.000 It's like when I found my glasses guy, my optician, I found out he was MAGA, and I'm like, okay, well, I have to buy glasses, so I'm going to be going with this guy forever.

00:24:22.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:22.000 Like, say you found a milk supplier and a Cheerios supplier and a fucking broom and dustpan supplier and that you found out they're vet owned and they support our brothers overseas.

00:24:35.000 You go, I'm in, I'm going with them.

00:24:38.000 It beats fucking DuPont.

00:24:45.000 Okay, so we're getting close to the part where we cut off the freeloaders and we go behind the paywall.

00:24:54.000 But just to finish up what I was talking about before I interrupted myself 20 times, chicks getting into dude things. 1.00

00:25:02.000 Mr. Odell, in your biker days, the Hell's Angels are only dudes. 0.63

00:25:08.000 Correct.

00:25:09.000 Were there chicks like, what a podify? 1.00

00:25:13.000 Well, back in the 60s, there were some.

00:25:16.000 I think there were three female members at one point. 0.99

00:25:19.000 What is that?

00:25:20.000 Why do you want to be in our thing?

00:25:25.000 I guess women say the same thing about drag queens and trans men. 0.97

00:25:30.000 You know, men trying to do their thing. 0.71

00:25:33.000 Do women, though, know their place in biker culture in 2022? 1.00

00:25:38.000 Yes.

00:25:40.000 Definitely.

00:25:41.000 I mean, I would imagine they still do.

00:25:45.000 I mean, if you can't have your...

00:25:47.000 If you can't control your old lady, what else? 0.99

00:25:50.000 You can't control that.

00:25:52.000 You're in big trouble.

00:25:53.000 Yeah.

00:25:53.000 So you don't get chicks saying, I'd like to play a more prominent role in the club.

00:25:58.000 No.

00:25:59.000 Well, there's no more female members in the club that I would. 1.00

00:26:01.000 I understand, but not just...

00:26:02.000 I'm not talking about members.

00:26:03.000 I'm talking about girlfriends.

00:26:04.000 You know, like...

00:26:05.000 No, they, no.

00:26:08.000 there's no women in the meetings or anything like that. 1.00

00:26:12.000 Women are not members, they're not brought up for membership. 1.00

00:26:17.000 They're nothing to the club.

00:26:18.000 I mean, not nothing.

00:26:20.000 They're tolerate whatever, but basically they're like second-class citizens.

00:26:26.000 They're ought to have anything to do with hell's angels.

00:26:31.000 They don't dictate anything.

00:26:33.000 So can you wait till we call on you?

00:26:38.000 Call on me?

00:26:39.000 I don't want to sound like I'm trivializing your input here, but.

00:26:44.000 They truly, in this instant, are the weaker sex when it comes to Hell's Angels.

00:26:50.000 They know their place.

00:26:52.000 Can you make sure you get a row of stars there, Rygai?

00:26:57.000 Okay.

00:26:58.000 Who do you think you could beat up, Sylvia? 1.00

00:27:02.000 Who can I beat up?

00:27:03.000 Yeah.

00:27:04.000 Anybody who fucks with me.

00:27:09.000 Yeah, I was talking to Zenoa Kinsman about an hour ago.

00:27:14.000 Her eldest boy looks like Juicy Smollett.

00:27:18.000 And Juicy Smollett just got 150 days in jail, $120,000 fine, and 30 months of probation. 1.00

00:27:29.000 That sounds pretty exactly perfect.

00:27:32.000 I saw that he was getting sentenced today.

00:27:35.000 I didn't catch the sentencing, the actual sentence that he got.

00:27:42.000 I think it's a great sentence.

00:27:44.000 It is.

00:27:45.000 Yeah, 150 days.

00:27:46.000 It's commendable.

00:27:47.000 He cost a lot of people a lot of time and money.

00:27:51.000 Like, detectives are running around looking for these bad guys.

00:27:54.000 Yeah.

00:27:54.000 Phantoms of the night.

00:27:57.000 Not here.

00:27:58.000 So that's the monetary problem.

00:28:02.000 Uh-oh.

00:28:05.000 Who is it?

00:28:06.000 Answer it.

00:28:12.000 Answer it, Sylvia.

00:28:13.000 Scam likely.

00:28:15.000 I'm trying to shut it off.

00:28:18.000 Scam likely.

00:28:19.000 The American public should be aware.

00:28:22.000 Scams all over the place.

00:28:24.000 Your cell phone, the news, the politicians.

00:28:29.000 That's why we call this show Keep Off My Lawn. 1.00

00:28:33.000 We don't come for scams.

00:28:35.000 Company in nature.

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:36.000 Toe in the line.

00:28:39.000 Good company man.

00:28:40.000 So Zenoa's in these like strongman competitions. 0.98

00:28:45.000 And they have a woman's division. 1.00

00:28:47.000 Okay.

00:28:48.000 Okay.

00:28:49.000 Now, Zenoa knows her place.

00:28:52.000 And she's like, look, the deal is men, if they lift 1,000 pounds, they get $1,000.

00:28:58.000 Women have a different standard. 1.00

00:29:00.000 They're not expected to lift 1,000 pounds.

00:29:01.000 But if they lift 600 pounds, they get $600.

00:29:05.000 Okay, that sounds pretty fucking basic.

00:29:08.000 That's pretty.

00:29:09.000 Dollar a pound.

00:29:10.000 Yeah.

00:29:11.000 But some of the women are mad because they're like, we should get the same amount of money for 600 pounds. 1.00

00:29:17.000 That kind of says everything, doesn't it?

00:29:19.000 Yeah.

00:29:20.000 That doesn't.

00:29:21.000 No.

00:29:22.000 Sorry.

00:29:23.000 And then one of the women's argument was like, well, we have to give birth and do all this other stuff, so we should still get $1,000 for the $600. 1.00

00:29:32.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:29:34.000 And I said this because I didn't want to call like what she's doing trans, but I said, if there was a competition called the Perfect Lady Competition, right? 0.99

00:29:43.000 And it was fair and not biased, and you know it would be, it would be biased towards trans, Caitlin Jenner would definitely win it. 0.90

00:29:49.000 But say it was fair.

00:29:51.000 Trans men and drag queens would do worse than cis women at the Perfect Lady competition because they've been ladies their whole lives. 0.99

00:30:02.000 They move around like ladies. 1.00

00:30:04.000 And even if you take testosterone as a chick today, I think Joe Rogan pointed this out with that Fox MMA fighter who was trans.

00:30:14.000 Fractured girl's skull.

00:30:15.000 Yeah.

00:30:16.000 We've had these fucking amazing pipes since we were babies.

00:30:22.000 So I would wager that even if you like could a woman could just like plop her brain in your head tomorrow and with the same man's body, she's not used to it. 1.00

00:30:33.000 Right.

00:30:34.000 I mean these men who have had upper body strength their whole lives, you take testosterone and it's not real testosterone, it's synthetic, and now you have this sort of fake man thing.

00:30:47.000 Can you cut away from Maddie when he yawns, please?

00:30:50.000 That's nice.

00:30:51.000 Well, unfortunately, if you could notice my voice and my stuffy nose, my good friend Gavin passed a little cold off to me, so I took cold medicine earlier today.

00:31:02.000 And it's kind of kicking my butt.

00:31:03.000 I gave it to my kids.

00:31:04.000 I apologize for the yawn.

00:31:07.000 Your nose runs like a faucet until you just put tissue paper up your nose.

00:31:11.000 Stay off the cocaine.

00:31:12.000 Day three.

00:31:13.000 You cannot do what's not in you to begin with.

00:31:18.000 So women ought to get over themselves. 1.00

00:31:20.000 A man is still a man. 0.86

00:31:23.000 Right.

00:31:23.000 Don't try to imitate them.

00:31:25.000 It's not in you.

00:31:27.000 It's called a strong man competition.

00:31:30.000 And these women are complaining that... 1.00

00:31:32.000 They're born out of jealousy.

00:31:34.000 They're not doing well.

00:31:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:35.000 So that's the end of the story.

00:31:36.000 So the end of the story is this chick goes, I'm going to compete. 0.98

00:31:41.000 Zanoa assumed she was competing with her and the other women in the woman's portion of the strongman. 0.93

00:31:47.000 Right.

00:31:47.000 And she goes, no, I'm a man.

00:31:50.000 I'm competing as a man.

00:31:52.000 And Zenoa, she was obviously a woman. 0.99

00:31:55.000 And Zenoa goes, oh, oh, okay, sorry.

00:31:58.000 Yeah, I didn't know.

00:32:00.000 And she's thinking in her head, I thought you were just a fucking dyke. 1.00

00:32:04.000 I didn't know thought you were a dude.

00:32:07.000 And the woman goes, yeah, I'm trans, so I'm a man, and I'm competing with the men. 0.55

00:32:13.000 And Zenoa goes, well, you know you're going to lose, right?

00:32:17.000 And she goes, no, I'm not.

00:32:20.000 And Zanoa goes, but you're competing with men who have had real testosterone their whole lives.

00:32:25.000 And she goes, I actually take testosterone, so I'm competing on an even playing field.

00:32:30.000 Fucking woman, if that's what she feels? 1.00

00:32:33.000 It's just so.

00:32:33.000 delusional.

00:32:35.000 You think you could, and both sides of the trans thing are delusional. 0.95

00:32:39.000 You think you take a testosterone pill and boom, you're a dude?

00:32:42.000 No, you're more masculine than most women. 0.98

00:32:46.000 Right.

00:32:47.000 Still a long way to go to dude town.

00:32:49.000 You know what's wild?

00:32:50.000 Is that on Survivor, my wife's got me watching Survivor, there's a tranny who fucking looks like a dude. 1.00

00:32:59.000 But she didn't disclose that or something like that.

00:33:03.000 Oh, that's ancient Chinese secret, right? 0.94

00:33:04.000 This is brand new.

00:33:06.000 Okay, so then this is the second time this has happened.

00:33:09.000 Yeah, I believe so.

00:33:10.000 Yeah, on Survivor.

00:33:10.000 I remember like last year or two years ago, there was a tranny who was outed during their like Tiki Torch thing.

00:33:18.000 Yeah.

00:33:19.000 And it was a huge deal.

00:33:20.000 And they go, one of the guys goes, well, maybe one of the reasons is that he used to be a chick.

00:33:27.000 And then the music is like, whoa.

00:33:30.000 You ever watch that show Naked and Afraid?

00:33:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:34.000 This new season, there's one with a trans girl.

00:33:38.000 Right, right.

00:33:39.000 And a trans girl is a guy who has transitioned to a girl.

00:33:43.000 So it's going to be two guys.

00:33:44.000 Right, right.

00:33:45.000 You can see that wide square body, male body.

00:33:49.000 So, but this one is weird because trans girls. 1.00

00:33:52.000 Sorry, Ryan, just one second.

00:33:53.000 So it's a guy that's a normal guy.

00:33:54.000 It's usually a guy and a girl.

00:33:56.000 Right.

00:33:57.000 And they're naked and they're going to last three months.

00:33:59.000 And they're afraid.

00:33:59.000 Now naked and really afraid.

00:34:01.000 Now, the guy's a biological male, but the female is a trans. 0.59

00:34:08.000 Is there a dick involved?

00:34:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:12.000 I would imagine.

00:34:13.000 I mean, I didn't see it.

00:34:15.000 I would imagine, too.

00:34:16.000 But they're like, oh, this is going to be a surprise for my partner or teammate or whatever they call each other.

00:34:22.000 Well, that's actually advantageous because I've always thought on that show, they must drink cum.

00:34:27.000 Excuse me?

00:34:28.000 It's protein.

00:34:29.000 Oh, right.

00:34:31.000 So it's like, I don't mean on day one.

00:34:34.000 Three weeks into it.

00:34:35.000 Three weeks into it.

00:34:37.000 And you've been eating bull weevils.

00:34:39.000 And the guy's like, well, I have a pile of protein in my scrotum that I'm not using.

00:34:44.000 You can have it.

00:34:45.000 And she's like, okay, make sure the cameras are off.

00:34:47.000 But now they both have cum sacks. 0.83

00:34:51.000 So maybe the other guy's blowing the train.

00:34:54.000 But the bottom line, when it comes to women and men, we outlive them, outsmart them, outpuck them, and outbox them. 0.99

00:35:04.000 Well said.

00:35:05.000 You don't outsmart us.

00:35:08.000 But behind every man, there's a woman using our brains and our smarts. 1.00

00:35:14.000 Men think with their dick, get real. 0.52

00:35:17.000 Making a genius a sandwich is not really outsmarting him.

00:35:22.000 We outlive you.

00:35:24.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:35:26.000 It's outsmart is the only one I have a problem with.

00:35:29.000 You outfuck us, sure.

00:35:31.000 Although you don't really get...

00:35:32.000 You're the only woman I know that got horny after menopause. 1.00

00:35:37.000 Oh, well.

00:35:38.000 You were horny before menopause.

00:35:39.000 That's a fantasy that women, when they get older, have no sex urge. 1.00

00:35:44.000 That's not true at all.

00:35:47.000 I am a living example.

00:35:49.000 So you're still horny like tonight.

00:35:51.000 Correct.

00:35:52.000 Homeboys get like. 0.51

00:35:55.000 I will knock off a piece of ass as soon as I get home.

00:35:59.000 All I gotta do is go into Duck's Inn and take whatever I want.

00:36:05.000 And he won't quack either.

00:36:10.000 When did you last get laid?

00:36:13.000 Recently.

00:36:14.000 With whom?

00:36:16.000 With Kevin.

00:36:18.000 What's he look like?

00:36:20.000 He's Irish.

00:36:21.000 He's good looking.

00:36:23.000 Nothing wrong with God.

00:36:24.000 And you don't blow anyone, so he just fucked you from behind? 0.71

00:36:28.000 Jewish women don't suck dick. 1.00

00:36:32.000 So what did you do?

00:36:33.000 Just doggie at your house?

00:36:34.000 No, you do everything else.

00:36:36.000 Everything else perverted and enjoyable.

00:36:40.000 What else is there?

00:36:42.000 There's doggy, there's missionary? 0.67

00:36:45.000 No.

00:36:46.000 They look at you like you're a big lollipop.

00:36:49.000 They have to lick you, suck you from your head to your toes for starters. 1.00

00:36:54.000 Damn.

00:36:55.000 Before they even stick it in you.

00:36:57.000 What are you kidding?

00:36:58.000 Wow.

00:37:01.000 On that.

00:37:02.000 Wait, so the thing about the tranny, they lied about being on lithium, like antipsychotic medicine. 1.00

00:37:08.000 And so the guy comes up and he's like, the host, he's like, I usually don't walk to the tribes and say anything, but we have a situation here.

00:37:17.000 We can't give this fucker medicine. 1.00

00:37:20.000 And everybody, like, the women cry. 0.98

00:37:22.000 They're like, oh, my God, you're leaving us.

00:37:24.000 Because the night before, he's like, I am a woman, actually.

00:37:27.000 And everybody's like, wow, pretty good fucking transition.

00:37:31.000 But because he didn't disclose his fucking medical information, he now has taken a spot from somebody who could have legitimately been on the show.

00:37:41.000 And they're all kissing his ass.

00:37:43.000 I hate that your story's so touching shit.

00:37:47.000 They kiss his ass. 0.66

00:37:48.000 Meanwhile, if anybody had done that and they weren't a tranny, it would have been like, you're fucking the worst. 1.00

00:37:54.000 You've lied to us.

00:37:55.000 And now everyone over.

00:37:56.000 They literally.

00:37:58.000 And also, what's crazy is that they make these challenges for six people and now they have to just deal with like five.

00:38:05.000 So now they're like having people sit out and they have to change all this shit because of fucking Jackson's ass.

00:38:11.000 Fuck you, Jackson.

00:38:12.000 It's sort of like these guys where they've been married for, you know, 20 years.

00:38:17.000 They have five kids and they go, it was a British guy that I'm thinking of.

00:38:20.000 He's like, I'm actually gay.

00:38:22.000 And everyone goes, that is so brave.

00:38:26.000 And this woman is sort of going, yeah, it was really like Chris Jenner and Caitlin Jenner.

00:38:32.000 I've been a woman this whole time, baby.

00:38:35.000 Oh, gross.

00:38:36.000 I was sucking a woman's dick for like 15 years? 1.00

00:38:40.000 Isn't that rape? 1.00

00:38:42.000 Yeah.

00:38:42.000 Or longer.

00:38:43.000 It could have been 40, 45.

00:38:47.000 Here's the summarization.

00:38:49.000 You're not brave if you waste people's time.

00:38:52.000 New rule.

00:38:53.000 New rule.

00:38:54.000 New rule.

00:38:55.000 New rule.

00:38:56.000 You're not brave if you're wasting people's time.

00:39:01.000 Just because you tuck it and use duct tape.

00:39:03.000 I believe he was originally from Westchester.

00:39:05.000 Who?

00:39:06.000 Bill Maher?

00:39:07.000 No, Bruce Jenner.

00:39:08.000 Oh, yeah?

00:39:09.000 Oh, wow.

00:39:10.000 Bruce is from Terrytown.

00:39:12.000 Or Sleepy Hollow, one of those.

00:39:13.000 I like Terrytown and Sleepy Hollow.

00:39:15.000 Isn't Terrytown very copy?

00:39:18.000 Very copy?

00:39:19.000 Cop-like.

00:39:20.000 Lots of cops?

00:39:22.000 It's a small department.

00:39:23.000 No, no, I mean retired cops live there.

00:39:26.000 Oh, I'm not a...

00:39:26.000 I don't know about the demographics.

00:39:28.000 The best place is the South Bronx on the rooftop.

00:39:32.000 You get it good.

00:39:33.000 I think you're talking about something else, honey.

00:39:35.000 I think you're talking about...

00:39:36.000 Your sex, you mean?

00:39:37.000 Did you say you were raped on a rooftop in Harlem?

00:39:40.000 That's what she meant.

00:39:41.000 She did.

00:39:43.000 Wait a minute.

00:39:44.000 Get whatever you want on the rooftop in the South Bronx.

00:39:48.000 But you were raped on a rooftop in Harlem.

00:39:50.000 That was in Harlem, though.

00:39:51.000 That was in Harlem.

00:39:53.000 So wait a minute.

00:39:54.000 Wait a minute.

00:39:54.000 Do you have a pattern?

00:39:56.000 Ryan, you're fucking up the screens.

00:39:58.000 Do you have a pattern of fornicating on roofs?

00:40:02.000 No, only when it shingles my tingles.

00:40:08.000 I don't know what that means, but it sounds graphic.

00:40:10.000 She likes to hang out on the rooftops.

00:40:12.000 I heard that dragon.

00:40:15.000 What about under the boardwalk?

00:40:18.000 I've heard of under the boardwalk.

00:40:19.000 I've heard of drag queens talking about, or like Amanda Lepore and her friend, whatever the other one, Sophia Lamar, talking about how much they love sex in bathrooms at nightclubs. 1.00

00:40:29.000 I've heard of that.

00:40:31.000 I've never heard of rooftop sex being a thing.

00:40:34.000 The best place is any place when the urge comes over you.

00:40:39.000 Any place is the right time to be with the one you want to fuck. 1.00

00:40:44.000 When pizza's on a bagel, you could eat pizza anytime.

00:40:48.000 Even a slippery bagel.

00:40:51.000 Okay, so let's open up the phone lines just before we...

00:40:55.000 Because I was going to cut everyone off now.

00:40:57.000 We're 15 minutes past the deadline, but I want at least some people who are too cheap to subscribe to censored.tv for $10 a month, where you don't just get my show, which is amazing, by the way.

00:41:10.000 You get Jim Goads, Jacob Wall.

00:41:15.000 Atheism is unstoppable.

00:41:17.000 We have Milo Yiannopoulos episodes.

00:41:20.000 He's no longer with us, but you got to understand when these people leave, we still have all the episodes banked.

00:41:25.000 We still, you come to this site, you still see Roger Stone, Candace Owens, Cornell West, Josh LaCash.

00:41:32.000 We've got Compound Censors, a show I do once a week with Anthony Comee.

00:41:36.000 And we have Miss Spitz vocalist Michael Graves.

00:41:41.000 We've got Soph and Lotus and Katie Hopkins.

00:41:46.000 It's a network.

00:41:48.000 Like when you turn on Fox News and there's always a show on, there's way more content you could possibly handle.

00:41:54.000 Our newest hit show is Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen. 1.00

00:41:57.000 Yeah, everyone should watch it.

00:42:00.000 He has the smallest kitchen in the world.

00:42:03.000 Yes, that is true.

00:42:05.000 And he makes unbelievable...

00:42:07.000 Dude, your potatoes taste like steak.

00:42:10.000 Yeah, the potato, I like, you know, I guess it comes from the heritage.

00:42:15.000 The Scottish heritage.

00:42:16.000 What is the secret to your potatoes again?

00:42:19.000 Well, it depends on me.

00:42:20.000 I mean, roasted.

00:42:21.000 Those ones we have.

00:42:22.000 You put sugar in the water.

00:42:24.000 Oh, the ones that I made for the first episode was they were boiled for about between, depending on how many are in the water, maybe 12, 14 minutes.

00:42:34.000 I had salt, sugar, and a little bit of dill.

00:42:37.000 And then I pan-fried them in the beef rendering, the fat rendering, and the grease and everything.

00:42:44.000 That's probably what it is.

00:42:45.000 Hot shit.

00:42:46.000 Hot shit.

00:42:48.000 So the boiling is pretty normal, and the water.

00:42:50.000 You don't get to get the texture right.

00:42:53.000 But it's the panel.

00:42:54.000 You have to comment on how they were consistently good all the way through.

00:42:59.000 I had a lot of housewives sending us letters going, I've been cooking for 30 years or whatever, and this totally revamped the way I'm going to do steak and potatoes.

00:43:08.000 Yeah.

00:43:09.000 So that's just one show we're off at a tangent about.

00:43:13.000 The one you want badly is getting next week.

00:43:18.000 Prison food.

00:43:20.000 Like the county jail smash up, mashup, whatever you want to call it.

00:43:25.000 I mean, that's the whole favorite thing in the world is like people under duress coming up with solutions to their problems.

00:43:33.000 And the way they make chicken nuggets and burritos and I'll explain ramps.

00:43:39.000 Soup and all that shit.

00:43:40.000 They go to the concession stand.

00:43:42.000 What's it called?

00:43:43.000 Commissary.

00:43:44.000 Commissary.

00:43:44.000 Some people call it, it depends where in the country you are.

00:43:46.000 Some people call it canteen.

00:43:48.000 Some call it commissary.

00:43:50.000 You know.

00:43:50.000 The commissary's in town.

00:43:52.000 Uh-oh.

00:43:53.000 But it's just basically the store where you can shop.

00:43:56.000 And they make these elaborate meals with their limited resources.

00:44:02.000 I mean, county jails are a lot tougher because it's a limited commissary and people aren't there.

00:44:10.000 There's not a lot of people working in the facility.

00:44:15.000 Right.

00:44:16.000 But like in prison, the meals become very elaborate, very good.

00:44:20.000 Yeah, Max has five rooms, have a microwave.

00:44:28.000 Some state prisons in New York still have ovens, stoves that you can use.

00:44:34.000 But in the feds, you just have a microwave.

00:44:37.000 County jails, if they have them.

00:44:39.000 Like I was in a county jail in Virginia waiting for my federal trial, and they had no microwave, no hot water, no nothing.

00:44:45.000 It was just water out of the sink.

00:44:48.000 I mean, I know, I understand you want to punish bad guys, but you also want a sense of efficiency.

00:44:52.000 And if they can make their own food, everyone's better off.

00:44:57.000 No?

00:44:58.000 They're not animals.

00:44:59.000 No.

00:45:00.000 That's something that the populace needs to figure out.

00:45:04.000 Right, yeah.

00:45:06.000 And they're doing their time.

00:45:08.000 That's another thing that bothers me about inmates is this whole concept that they have to be punished after they get out.

00:45:16.000 I beat up an old man to death because he said the N-word.

00:45:20.000 You gave me my horrible punishment of watching Netflix for two years.

00:45:24.000 Two years house arrest.

00:45:25.000 But after that, look, I think he should have got worse.

00:45:29.000 But if that's the punishment, then this post-probation and like anger management courses, it's just the problem is a lot of them are repeaters.

00:45:40.000 Whatever crime they did, they do the time and they do the crime.

00:45:45.000 They come out and do the same thing over and over.

00:45:48.000 Well, I'm not sure that's true with murder and serious crimes.

00:45:52.000 That tends to be a one-off.

00:45:54.000 Did you know Maddie?

00:45:56.000 Did you know Maddie's been to prison many times, Sylvia?

00:46:00.000 He's a shortstop.

00:46:01.000 Are you kidding me?

00:46:02.000 He's a baby monster.

00:46:03.000 Guy doing 13 to 30 years in prison and then tell me about it.

00:46:08.000 Two of my husbands did that.

00:46:11.000 She's claiming stolen prison value. 1.00

00:46:13.000 He's done time that's similar to that.

00:46:15.000 Look at that yardboard.

00:46:16.000 Wait, you had an ex-husband that went to jail for murder?

00:46:19.000 Was it one of the...

00:46:20.000 What did you do?

00:46:20.000 You murdered a fly in the air?

00:46:24.000 Yeah, something like that.

00:46:26.000 You raped a fly to death.

00:46:26.000 Fly swater.

00:46:27.000 He raped a fly to death.

00:46:29.000 He swatted the fly to death.

00:46:32.000 What did your man do who got 30 years?

00:46:34.000 Was that one of your black husbands?

00:46:36.000 I'm just guessing.

00:46:37.000 Husband number seven, murder.

00:46:40.000 Who did he murder?

00:46:41.000 Why do 50% of your husbands commit...

00:46:43.000 Oh, wait, no.

00:46:45.000 He murdered this man that followed him and his girlfriend on the subway.

00:46:51.000 So were you married to him before or after that?

00:46:53.000 Hold the mic closer to your mouth.

00:46:55.000 After.

00:46:56.000 After he committed the murder.

00:46:59.000 So how long did he do?

00:47:01.000 About 34 years in prison.

00:47:04.000 Damn.

00:47:05.000 And you got with him after that?

00:47:07.000 Correct.

00:47:08.000 So he must have been old as shit.

00:47:10.000 No, not all that old.

00:47:12.000 He was very young when he went to prison in his early 20s.

00:47:16.000 Huh.

00:47:17.000 So he was like 56, 57 when you got him?

00:47:20.000 Yeah.

00:47:21.000 And then how long did you guys stay together for?

00:47:24.000 We're still together legally, but because of domestic violence, I'm not with him anymore.

00:47:31.000 No kidding.

00:47:32.000 Now, Camille Pagney got in big trouble for saying what no one mentions about domestic violence is the sex is often quite hot. 0.96

00:47:43.000 Make up sex? 0.75

00:47:44.000 Well, once your husband or your boyfriend starts using you as a punching bag, they're not going to change and they're not going to stop, no matter how much they may love you.

00:47:53.000 So the best thing is to cut them loose, Bruce.

00:47:56.000 That sounds logical.

00:47:57.000 But was the sex particularly hot?

00:48:00.000 The sex was great. 0.86

00:48:01.000 Like your legs would vibrate after?

00:48:04.000 No, he would never slap me.

00:48:07.000 He'd punch me.

00:48:08.000 I kept thinking he'd change.

00:48:11.000 No, no, I mean, your orgasms.

00:48:13.000 He has a very bad Latino temper. 1.00

00:48:16.000 Were your orgasms earth-shattering?

00:48:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:20.000 Hell yeah.

00:48:21.000 Nothing like a Latino lover. 1.00

00:48:23.000 The best lovers in the world are Latinos and blacks.

00:48:27.000 They don't have the inhibitions that white dudes have.

00:48:30.000 They'll do anything and everything to please a woman. 1.00

00:48:32.000 It kind of contradicts what you said last week.

00:48:34.000 You said that that was a myth that they outscrew.

00:48:38.000 No.

00:48:38.000 The only myth about black men is the size of their penis.

00:48:42.000 That's a myth.

00:48:44.000 They're like anybody, any other man. 0.98

00:48:46.000 The main thing with any man is not the size, it's does he know how to use it.

00:48:52.000 That's all that really counts.

00:48:54.000 As a boring milquetoast white man, what do these Latinos do that is different? 0.99

00:49:01.000 Like, what should I be doing?

00:49:02.000 Casting at some point.

00:49:03.000 Should they reach around and diddle your bean?

00:49:05.000 No.

00:49:06.000 Like Morocco?

00:49:07.000 Number one, they will talk to you very romantically and make your legs open like a butterfly before they ever lay a finger on you.

00:49:15.000 They could read off a grocery list in Spanish.

00:49:18.000 Talk very romantically.

00:49:19.000 Like what?

00:49:20.000 And going.

00:49:21.000 Your lips are like two.

00:49:23.000 How your skin is like an angel.

00:49:27.000 Your lips are like two larvae making love in a pink roof.

00:49:32.000 You sparkle like a diamond.

00:49:35.000 Duel sparkle like un diamando.

00:49:37.000 Your nipples are like two purged pepperoni calling out to me. 0.99

00:49:45.000 Your pussy is like a razor slit on a stuck pig. 1.00

00:49:50.000 Like a ravenous mountain.

00:49:52.000 Like, honestly, if you...

00:49:53.000 Your anus is like a Hershey's kiss. 0.98

00:49:56.000 If you say the floor is wet in English and you say in Spanish, Spanish says a lot sexier. 0.98

00:50:00.000 It's like, el piso es mojado.

00:50:03.000 Or you're like, the floor is wet.

00:50:06.000 So wet is mojado.

00:50:08.000 We've been giving these fucking freeloaders way too much free content.

00:50:12.000 Let's take a call, read one call, read one letter, have one super chat, and then get these fuckers out of here so we can be with our baby monsters. 1.00

00:50:21.000 Just a reminder, guys, you can call in with the number on the screen there.

00:50:25.000 And also, you can super chat by going to the live show.

00:50:29.000 Watch live.

00:50:30.000 Are you saying we don't have anyone?

00:50:31.000 And then...

00:50:32.000 Oh, no, we do have calls.

00:50:33.000 And we have a thing right here, a button right under the show.

00:50:37.000 Donate to read a message on air.

00:50:39.000 How much money have we raised for Max and John with these super chats?

00:50:42.000 I can inquire for our super technical.

00:50:45.000 My gut says five grand.

00:50:48.000 Total?

00:50:48.000 Grand total?

00:50:49.000 Grand, grand total.

00:50:53.000 Let's do a bet.

00:50:54.000 Last time we bet, I failed miserably.

00:50:56.000 I think it's 30.

00:50:57.000 No, I think it's 45.

00:50:58.000 38,000.

00:50:59.000 So right under yours.

00:51:00.000 It's definitely not 38,000.

00:51:04.000 She's doing prices right technique.

00:51:07.000 It's between 32 and 5,000.

00:51:09.000 I'll say 47.50.

00:51:11.000 Ooh.

00:51:12.000 Final answer.

00:51:13.000 That 50 really adds confidence.

00:51:14.000 It's like, I know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.

00:51:16.000 Now I'm shook.

00:51:18.000 The auctions, it's funny the different fundraisers, because we can't do normal fundraisers for them.

00:51:22.000 They get shut down.

00:51:25.000 The live chats are okay.

00:51:27.000 The doodle auctions usually raise about $5,000, but it takes like 15 drawings in a couple months.

00:51:35.000 But man, that Christmas drive we did for Zenoa, boom, $12,000.

00:51:40.000 Yeah, that was good-looking out.

00:51:44.000 I'm going to try just doing a give, send, go normal page saying, look, here's the truth.

00:51:49.000 Max and John, four years for fighting Antifa.

00:51:52.000 They're going to get out in a year.

00:51:55.000 No early release.

00:51:56.000 Yeah, they lost their six months.

00:51:59.000 That's all thrown away.

00:52:01.000 So they're going to be out in a year.

00:52:03.000 Can they have a little cushion while they get back on their feet?

00:52:06.000 John Kinsman lost all his steel inspection licenses.

00:52:11.000 They expired.

00:52:15.000 I knew somebody willing to give him a job when he gets out, too, but he probably has to have that certification, I'm guessing.

00:52:20.000 Well, he can obviously redo the classes.

00:52:22.000 Sure, sure.

00:52:22.000 He knows what he's doing.

00:52:24.000 It's like me redoing a class in pussy eating. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Like, okay.

00:52:27.000 I'm an expert.

00:52:29.000 I'm already an expert.

00:52:30.000 If you're classy.

00:52:31.000 You start slow.

00:52:35.000 We're taking some calls.

00:52:36.000 Let's take a call.

00:52:39.000 You are on the air.

00:52:40.000 We'll have a conversation.

00:52:42.000 This is a fucking loser.

00:52:44.000 You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why.

00:52:47.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

00:52:49.000 You have one thing.

00:52:50.000 Thank you for calling.

00:52:53.000 It's on.

00:52:53.000 All right, thanks for calling.

00:52:55.000 Cool.

00:52:55.000 I'm not a tarded.

00:52:57.000 I'm not appalled.

00:53:00.000 We have lives of TikTok video.

00:53:02.000 Libs of TikTok video.

00:53:06.000 Hello.

00:53:07.000 Hello.

00:53:08.000 Hi, mister.

00:53:09.000 Yo! 1.00

00:53:10.000 Oh, trucker.

00:53:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:13.000 Is that a real trucker?

00:53:14.000 Yeah, sounding like you.

00:53:16.000 Yes.

00:53:17.000 Yes, sir.

00:53:18.000 Driving a rig right now.

00:53:19.000 Fucking eight.

00:53:20.000 Right on, guy.

00:53:22.000 Right on, right on.

00:53:24.000 Hey, I got a question for anyone here that wants to take it.

00:53:28.000 I'd like to know what you think the percentage of, either percentage of women or maybe is it a regional thing that actually believe that bullshit that you showed on Anthony's show or you showed on your show the other day? 0.95

00:53:43.000 What bullshit?

00:53:44.000 Is it regional or can you quantify a percentage?

00:53:47.000 What bullshit?

00:53:50.000 Talking about the patriarchy and the feminism thing they were talking about in the video.

00:53:58.000 Which home was this now?

00:53:59.000 The woman who said that being fat is a feminist statement and being skinny is... 1.00

00:54:07.000 Yes.

00:54:07.000 Yeah.

00:54:09.000 And you know, because I was at a bar yesterday and a girl that I grew up with was working in the bar and was kind of on the same subject.

00:54:16.000 And then she said, I've never heard anyone say this, but she goes, as a woman, you're guilty until proven innocent. 0.81

00:54:22.000 And I just was like, man, I feel like it's infected my generation.

00:54:27.000 But there's two things going on at the same time here.

00:54:30.000 There is like, how many people would say that?

00:54:33.000 And then how many truly believe?

00:54:35.000 Like, I want to give a lot of these liberals heroin, inject their veins and go, okay, now, do you really believe that cops are hunting black people?

00:54:44.000 And you can, I imagine them just going, I've seen that, but that's what everyone's doing.

00:54:51.000 So I'm doing it.

00:54:56.000 Right on, yeah.

00:54:57.000 I feel the same way.

00:54:58.000 But wait a minute.

00:54:59.000 So you listen to this show in your truck?

00:55:02.000 Yeah, right now, yeah, I am.

00:55:04.000 I'm driving it.

00:55:04.000 I have it on my phone, but you're coming through my big Bluetooth trucker headset.

00:55:09.000 It's harder to hear you, actually.

00:55:10.000 Maddie's microphone is coming through clearer than yours is.

00:55:14.000 Okay.

00:55:17.000 So you're using Wi-Fi?

00:55:21.000 No, my data.

00:55:23.000 And you have unlimited data?

00:55:25.000 Yep.

00:55:26.000 So it's just like you listen to this show the way someone else just looks at Instagram through their phone without Wi-Fi.

00:55:36.000 Yeah.

00:55:37.000 And is there enough...

00:55:39.000 Through the censored app.

00:55:40.000 Is there enough bandwidth to watch the video?

00:55:47.000 To watch the video.

00:55:50.000 I just had it live.

00:55:51.000 I get the notification that you guys are live, and I just, boom, it comes in the middle.

00:55:54.000 So you can see all this.

00:55:56.000 And how big is your screen?

00:55:59.000 It's an iPhone 12 Pro Max.

00:56:01.000 I'm not actually looking at it right now because I am driving back into PA, driving a rig right now.

00:56:07.000 Because that's illegal, probably, right?

00:56:09.000 Does PA stand for penis?

00:56:10.000 How do you hear that, Phil?

00:56:11.000 PA is Pennsylvania.

00:56:12.000 Okay.

00:56:14.000 Okay, let's try to solve this man's question.

00:56:17.000 So, this is a tough one.

00:56:20.000 It's a real mind teaser.

00:56:22.000 So on the compound censored, we were talking about this crazy bitch who said that if you lose weight, you're catering to the patriarchy. 1.00

00:56:33.000 And the whole concept of a fat woman is made up by men who have a very narrow view of what a woman is.

00:56:41.000 And if you try to acquire that kind of beauty where you're not a fatso, you are basically some sort of a slave. 0.98

00:56:52.000 I want to phrase this in a nice way.

00:56:55.000 It wasn't.

00:56:56.000 Articulating to the shithead.

00:56:58.000 But she's fat. 1.00

00:57:00.000 Yeah, that's what we're doing on Monday with Crip Daddy.

00:57:02.000 You just blew the surprise.

00:57:04.000 No, it's the thing we talked about on Compound Censored.

00:57:07.000 Let's see.

00:57:08.000 I have it in this program here.

00:57:10.000 Did you not watch the show?

00:57:12.000 I watched it late because you jumped in early, and I didn't expect that.

00:57:16.000 Okay, so it's at the very beginning of the...

00:57:18.000 But anyway, it's a video we already talked about on the show.

00:57:20.000 That woman who said that it's patriarchal to want to be thin. 0.99

00:57:25.000 That's basically the crux of it.

00:57:27.000 So how many people, how many women think that being obese is perfectly healthy and to try to not be fat is sexist as opposed to healthy?

00:57:38.000 I'm going to go with, first let's do the whole country.

00:57:42.000 I'm going to go with 70% of women in America understand that being fat is unhealthy and being thin is healthy and it's got nothing to do with sexism.

00:57:56.000 I would say that's her.

00:57:59.000 I would say 5 to 10%, let's say like 6.987% of American women think that being slim is a male patriarchy thing. 1.00

00:58:15.000 It's an unattainable body image.

00:58:17.000 Now in New York City, in Berkeley, in Portland, you're going to get, you're in the eye of the storm.

00:58:24.000 So that 6.9% is going to sound like 50% of the people around you because you're in the eye of the 6.9%. 0.99

00:58:34.000 But that's the problem with America now is this shrill minority of lunatics are defining what we think the American ethos is.

00:58:46.000 And not just on TikTok, obviously.

00:58:48.000 The reason that went viral is because people identify with it.

00:58:52.000 In the New York Times, in the Washington Post, MSNBC, all of these mainstream media sources will say stupid shit like that.

00:59:02.000 Women's magazines, they all say it and they believe it.

00:59:06.000 So that's our answer, sir.

00:59:08.000 70% think that it's healthy to be thin.

00:59:12.000 7% thinks it's sexist to say that.

00:59:16.000 And then we've got another ambiguous 20-something percent floating around who could give a fuck either way.

00:59:24.000 They just want their French fries.

00:59:26.000 They want their fried food.

00:59:28.000 Thanks for calling.

00:59:29.000 Okay, so that's a call.

00:59:33.000 Tough brain teaser from that guy.

00:59:35.000 Real homework assignment.

00:59:36.000 Talking about women getting lighter sensors.

00:59:38.000 That was a tough one.

00:59:40.000 It was.

00:59:42.000 You handed it well, Gavin, per a man.

00:59:45.000 Thank you, Sylvia.

00:59:46.000 Look at this.

00:59:47.000 This is pretty fun.

00:59:49.000 Notice, quote unquote, per a man.

00:59:51.000 Of course, a woman could have handled it a hell of a lot better. 1.00

00:59:55.000 That's true.

00:59:56.000 Okay, take it away.

00:59:58.000 Women could do things that men are not capable of imagining. 1.00

01:00:03.000 Okay, so the question was...

01:00:04.000 We're the creative force.

01:00:07.000 Man is the doer, the protector, the strong one physically, but women are the creators of mankind. 1.00

01:00:17.000 Great point.

01:00:18.000 You won this one.

01:00:19.000 And if they put their head against the wall and take a couple of steps back, they can lift up a chair and stand back up, whereas men can't. 0.99

01:00:27.000 Yep.

01:00:28.000 It was on all in the family.

01:00:29.000 We are the chair that man lifts up.

01:00:34.000 Okay, let's take a letter.

01:00:36.000 This was...

01:00:37.000 I just saw this today, and I think this hits on the same thing about girls getting unfavorable sentences or something.

01:00:42.000 It's an orbital look for my girlfriend to hit me. 0.75

01:00:45.000 She says, yes, blah, blah, blah.

01:00:47.000 Nothing comes up.

01:00:48.000 You type in boyfriend.

01:00:50.000 Something fun happens.

01:00:52.000 It immediately goes for help is available.

01:00:58.000 Loser's got to get a new screen. 1.00

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:01.000 I think maybe his girlfriend threw it.

01:01:03.000 Okay.

01:01:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:07.000 This is someone stealing something I said, which reminds me, I'd like to toot my own horn, if I may.

01:01:16.000 I was talking on my MAGA dad chat about Kamala Harris.

01:01:22.000 And they were talking about her imminent speech in Poland, I believe it was.

01:01:27.000 And we were talking about what an idiot she's going to sound like. 1.00

01:01:30.000 And I hereby predicted the following speech.

01:01:34.000 Okay?

01:01:34.000 This is what I said Kamala Harris was going to say.

01:01:39.000 Ready?

01:01:40.000 Ready.

01:01:44.000 What do we learn from times like these?

01:01:47.000 We learn what has already been learned for centuries.

01:01:50.000 We learn that this is now and we need to be aware of what the future will hold.

01:01:58.000 And that is what the past has already told us.

01:02:03.000 That war has no real victors but those who write the stories we all try to accept as the truth.

01:02:11.000 But don't until we do.

01:02:15.000 Long dramatic pause.

01:02:18.000 Until we do.

01:02:20.000 Amen.

01:02:21.000 And then she awaits an applause and nothing happens.

01:02:24.000 So that's what I guessed her speech would be.

01:02:26.000 Now, Ryan, I emailed this to you.

01:02:28.000 This is her speech.

01:02:31.000 I think it's the same thing.

01:02:32.000 It's the same picture.

01:02:34.000 I predicted this speech.

01:02:38.000 That's why we're here today.

01:02:41.000 Because we have the ability to see what can be.

01:02:44.000 Wow.

01:02:44.000 Unburdened by what has been.

01:02:47.000 Wow.

01:02:47.000 And then to make the possible actually happen.

01:02:52.000 I don't know what the f ⁇ that was. 0.92

01:02:55.000 Wait, that's fucking crazy.

01:02:58.000 And you have receipts.

01:03:00.000 I believe you.

01:03:00.000 I have receipts.

01:03:01.000 I can prove this.

01:03:02.000 Holy shit.

01:03:03.000 That's crazy.

01:03:04.000 That's even better than her response if the Russian question proposed by the reporters yesterday that has Russia and America discussed the refugees?

01:03:17.000 She just laughs.

01:03:18.000 She laughs and says, you showed me this.

01:03:21.000 She laughs and says, a friend in need is a friend in need.

01:03:24.000 She's like asking for Poland's president.

01:03:29.000 She cackles the way the question was like, is it true in college you ate a salad bowl full of M ⁇ Ms?

01:03:36.000 And then she goes, let's not get into the M ⁇ Ms. 0.90

01:03:40.000 That was a crazy time.

01:03:42.000 No, no, no.

01:03:43.000 We're not asking about a silly thing that you did as a dare.

01:03:46.000 We're talking about foreign policy and refugee status in America and how that will affect our population.

01:03:53.000 She laughs like it's some sort of inside joke we should all be laughing at.

01:04:01.000 Uh-oh, that's someone calling me a Satanist for believing in evolution.

01:04:06.000 What?

01:04:09.000 So we got that, and then we have to do a mailbag, right?

01:04:12.000 Do we want to hit the intro to show the people what that looks like?

01:04:15.000 We did hit the mailbag.

01:04:16.000 What do you think?

01:04:16.000 No, we did the thanks for calling.

01:04:21.000 Haven't I read a letter yet?

01:04:22.000 Okay, I've got a letter right here, ready to rock.

01:04:24.000 Okay.

01:04:25.000 So this is a guy named Buck, and he's this, though, I know why we went off at a tangent because he's stealing what I've said a million times.

01:04:34.000 Last drop of pee solution.

01:04:39.000 This man states, basically you trick your dick into thinking it's in your pants.

01:04:45.000 If I'm at home, I'll sometimes just leave my dick out of my pants.

01:04:49.000 If I wash my hands and a drop of pee will fall on the bathroom floor.

01:04:52.000 Or you can wrap your dick in a piece of paper and put it away. 0.94

01:04:55.000 That way you won't get pee in your goddamn knickers, he calls them.

01:04:59.000 We all know They're wrong with this.

01:05:02.000 They're what's wrong with this country.

01:05:04.000 I, Gavin McInnes, hate Knickers.

01:05:06.000 That's a very clunky email, but yeah, here's a trick I learned on my own: you go piss, you shake it, and you go to your penis, who's looking up at you like, I can't wait to fucking piss in this guy's drawers.

01:05:21.000 And you go, oh, well, that was a great pee.

01:05:24.000 I'm done.

01:05:25.000 You put it in your underwear, you don't let go, and you pull it right back out again.

01:05:33.000 There's four more drops.

01:05:34.000 Dude, I've tried everything.

01:05:35.000 And that works for you?

01:05:36.000 That works for me.

01:05:37.000 It doesn't for me.

01:05:38.000 I do it all the time.

01:05:39.000 I put the paper in the thing, and I'm like, all right, we're done.

01:05:42.000 I even walk away.

01:05:43.000 I take a toilet paper, I put it on the head, and then I start walking away with it in my pants.

01:05:48.000 But you have to remember, it is not a drumstick.

01:05:51.000 You cannot keep tapping it.

01:05:54.000 That's true, but it feels good.

01:05:56.000 So I do it.

01:05:57.000 No, but sometimes there's still like, if your dick is a syringe, there's still like five CCs of piss sometimes.

01:06:03.000 It just zoof.

01:06:04.000 I've been pissing for half a century, and I still, if I don't do that trick or some other like milking or there's the whole prostate thing where you're supposed to get up.

01:06:12.000 From your gooch.

01:06:12.000 From your gooch, you feel me.

01:06:13.000 From your shovel.

01:06:14.000 I don't have time to fucking make love to myself.

01:06:17.000 I got to get back to work.

01:06:18.000 But still, like, you'll walk out for the bathroom and you'll feel like, baboo, babo, babo.

01:06:24.000 Shake three times and rock.

01:06:26.000 No matter how you shake your peg, the last weed drop runs down your leg.

01:06:29.000 And I go commando in my sweatpants and it shows.

01:06:33.000 Like every, I've tried everything.

01:06:35.000 I've tried your techniques.

01:06:36.000 I think you and Anthony were talking about this too, and it's like, there's just nothing you could do.

01:06:39.000 Why do you go commando in your sweatpants?

01:06:41.000 Why are you wearing sweatpants?

01:06:43.000 So many questions.

01:06:43.000 Around my house.

01:06:45.000 You know?

01:06:46.000 Just to...

01:06:47.000 I wear shoes and pants and a buttoned-up shirt in my house.

01:06:51.000 You do?

01:06:52.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 Well, I like to be a little comfier.

01:06:55.000 And I go to the gym a lot, too, so I just, you know, throw it in the camera.

01:06:58.000 When I go to the gym, I change out of my pants and I put on my sweatshorts that I have in my gym bag at the gym, which I haven't washed in six years.

01:07:08.000 Basically, I piss my pants.

01:07:10.000 Right for the pickets.

01:07:12.000 Okay, have we covered everything there?

01:07:14.000 Because we've given these people way too much.

01:07:16.000 I go commando everywhere.

01:07:19.000 Get it?

01:07:21.000 Yeah, we get it.

01:07:22.000 Knock three tons on the wall if you're ready.

01:07:26.000 That's a different thing, but also a technique that we use.

01:07:33.000 Okay.

01:07:33.000 So we've done all the service to these freeloaders.

01:07:36.000 Gave them an hour 14.

01:07:38.000 I know, that's ridiculous.

01:07:39.000 Damn, yo. 0.98

01:07:39.000 I'm not good at my job. 0.98

01:07:40.000 I'm supposed to have cut them off 40 minutes ago.

01:07:44.000 45 minutes ago.

01:07:46.000 48 minutes.

01:07:48.000 Let's do a super chat, and then we will have done everything.

01:07:51.000 That's correct.

01:07:53.000 Okay.

01:07:55.000 Let's see.

01:07:56.000 Did we read this one?

01:07:57.000 Kebine.

01:07:58.000 We did, Gebin.

01:08:00.000 Kebine.

01:08:02.000 Gavin, what would be your strategy if you had to do 12 rounds of boxing against Maddie for the WBO, whatever the fuck you weigh, weigh title of the world, fellow Scotsman?

01:08:10.000 We're actually around the same weight right now.

01:08:15.000 I'm 195.

01:08:16.000 What are you weighing in at these days?

01:08:18.000 195.

01:08:18.000 Wow.

01:08:20.000 I'm 106 and loving it.

01:08:22.000 So Maddie has a heart condition. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Yeah.

01:08:24.000 He can't fight.

01:08:25.000 So let's pretend that he's in tip-top shape.

01:08:28.000 My biggest fear wouldn't be the punches.

01:08:30.000 Not that I'm not scared of Maddie's punches.

01:08:31.000 I know they'd be brutal.

01:08:33.000 But my biggest fear here is the number 12.

01:08:38.000 I mean, that's fucking murder.

01:08:41.000 So my strategy would have nothing to do with actually fighting because I feel like I've already got my vocabulary for punches and it's not great.

01:08:49.000 But it's not like I'm going to learn some crazy fucking super punch.

01:08:56.000 So I would not drink.

01:08:59.000 I would jog three miles a day.

01:09:02.000 Nothing crazy.

01:09:02.000 Road work.

01:09:03.000 Two miles a day.

01:09:05.000 And just try to get my cardio up so I could last.

01:09:08.000 I mean, I could always block and take punches and stuff.

01:09:12.000 No, you have to kick and bite.

01:09:15.000 Damn.

01:09:16.000 That's another thing women could do that men can't. 1.00

01:09:17.000 I did not know that was an option.

01:09:19.000 Yeah.

01:09:20.000 I would kick and bite.

01:09:22.000 WBO.

01:09:25.000 My friend Larry fought for the WBO title.

01:09:29.000 Yeah.

01:09:29.000 He's getting inaugurated in the Hall of Fame May 1st.

01:09:32.000 Nice.

01:09:32.000 Congratulations, Larry.

01:09:34.000 We celebrate carnivalism.

01:09:38.000 Not officially on the show.

01:09:39.000 That's not our stance officially.

01:09:40.000 But some people can have that secret.

01:09:42.000 Yes.

01:09:43.000 We're not supposed to tell anyone that.

01:09:44.000 Okay.

01:09:44.000 So there we did it.

01:09:45.000 We did a letter.

01:09:46.000 We did a call.

01:09:48.000 Chat.

01:09:48.000 Silvio.

01:09:49.000 Silvio, we've got Maddie.

01:09:52.000 We've explained the context here.

01:09:53.000 We've done way more than we should.

01:09:55.000 We only have 45 minutes behind the paywall, but I will tell you that once we go behind the paywall, things get much raunchier.

01:10:02.000 Much more bitch. 1.00

01:10:04.000 Much more involved.

01:10:06.000 I've sort of been taken easy because I'm scared.

01:10:09.000 I'm weak and scared that we're going to get kicked off.

01:10:12.000 It's quiet.

01:10:14.000 Podcast land.

01:10:15.000 So thank you for tuning in, you fucking freeloaders.

01:10:18.000 We're about to go behind the paywall now.

01:10:20.000 We're going to do mostly calls probably.

01:10:22.000 That seems to be the pattern here.

01:10:24.000 And in the interim, for everyone, both freeloaders and subscribers, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:10:36.000 Safer for everybody on the deathbed that there will be some dark stars.

01:10:50.000 Safer for everybody on the deathbed that they will be some dark stars.

01:11:00.000 Time for not alone.

01:11:06.000 Time for the alone.

01:11:09.000 Not alone.

01:11:13.000 I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.

01:11:17.000 Cause you're not alone.

01:11:22.000 You're not alone with me.

01:11:46.000 Say it pray for me.

01:11:48.000 Wait, if you ripped off more of the, maybe all the songs are ripoffs.

01:11:53.000 And just boom, boom, boom.

01:11:55.000 Look at that beat.

01:11:55.000 Yeah, anyone out there know boom boom boom boom Do you want to call him get out of my way?

01:12:01.000 I'm gonna blow you away.

01:12:02.000 I can call him boom boom boom I said it to my daughter and I go get out of my way.

01:12:07.000 There's a song going on This is pretty woke.

01:17:46.000 levitating where she's like if you want to remake with uh elton john that's the new one so play the first song that's the hit yeah yeah yeah yeah that's another tick tock song i want you baby if you want to run away with me i know i feel like shitting like a chicken for a ride I had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm where the music don't speak for life.

01:18:17.000 So we got that.

01:18:18.000 Now play Miguel Bossé.

01:18:34.000 It's coming up.

01:18:34.000 Have faith.

01:18:35.000 I was going to say this pretty far.

01:18:38.000 The judge is going to say no.

01:18:40.000 Until.

01:18:49.000 They said Cajones.

01:18:51.000 Isn't this kind of creepy that he's a devil?

01:18:53.000 There's a lot of little kid asses. 0.99

01:18:54.000 This is bad.

01:18:57.000 No, okay.

01:18:58.000 What you're having there is cadence similarity, but the whole...

01:20:34.000 fucking censored.tv according to Grace Note there are 80 million songs out there as of 2011 yeah but that's probably just trademarked right the winner by knockdown victory the number one arrival welderway in the world you hear that dance dan dan yep the fight second fight 0.53

01:24:37.000 watching did you want to ask well someone mentioned wanted me to mention bald eagle I guess for whatever reason bald eagle yeah they like mentioned him the great bird or something like that I don't know what they wanted Is there something about the Eagle?

01:24:49.000 That's his MK Ultra trigger.

01:24:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:24:51.000 Now I'm sporting Ukraine.

01:24:55.000 They kind of failed, but nice.

01:24:57.000 Try at least.

01:24:58.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:24:59.000 The bald eagle.

01:25:00.000 Shows you that the elites don't watch our show.

01:25:04.000 Did you want to ask any?

01:25:07.000 G-O-M-L Live question. 1.00

01:25:10.000 Any thoughts about getting Anal Chinook back together? 1.00

01:25:14.000 You should do it here on the show.

01:25:15.000 Did you guys ever play with anyone cool?

01:25:17.000 Yeah, we play with lots of people cool.

01:25:20.000 We opened for the Daglow Abortions, who the bassist, we drank almost a 2-4 in an hour with the Daglow Abortions.

01:25:30.000 And the bassist projectile vomited on stage and didn't stop playing, which I was very impressed with.

01:25:36.000 I couldn't imagine doing that.

01:25:38.000 Projectile vomit, that's when you lie on the bathroom floor with your shirt off, trying to get like cold on your skin.

01:25:45.000 And he's just like, They have a song now called Anal Chinook because of that show.

01:25:53.000 And then, of course, the Dead Milkman we played open for.

01:25:59.000 We did a whole plot where Ozzy Osborne was killed.

01:26:03.000 And we had to bring him back from the dead.

01:26:06.000 And we did that by shitting in a bucket.

01:26:09.000 And he was killed by a priest at the beginning of the show.

01:26:12.000 We had a lot of theatrics at our shows.

01:26:14.000 And the priest was Rodney Anonymous Mellencamp, the singer of Dead Milkman.

01:26:18.000 He liked that we had costumes and stuff.

01:26:20.000 And I had a leg brace at the time because I tried to run up a wall to do a flip.

01:26:25.000 And I'm not that talented.

01:26:26.000 And I landed on my knee and I broke my knee.

01:26:28.000 So I had a leg brace.

01:26:29.000 But the show was about the time when it was about to take off the leg brace.

01:26:32.000 It had been like, I don't know, a couple months.

01:26:34.000 So we had Ozzy come and heal me.

01:26:38.000 And I took my leg brace off and I was saved by Ozzy Osborne.

01:26:42.000 And then Rodney Navis jumps out of nowhere, kills Ozzy.

01:26:44.000 Ozzy's dead.

01:26:45.000 And then the whole show, we have songs about Ozzy.

01:26:48.000 We change the lyrics, trying to get him back.

01:26:50.000 And then we end up shitting in a bucket together.

01:26:52.000 And then we throw the shit in the audience.

01:26:54.000 My mom was in the audience, actually.

01:26:57.000 The shit was a bunch of chocolate bars without their wrappers.

01:27:01.000 She thought it was feces that flew by her head.

01:27:03.000 Oh, boy.

01:27:03.000 The funniest part of the whole thing was the guy we got to play Ozzy was just like this average black dude with like a box cut.

01:27:10.000 Nothing Aussie about him. 1.00

01:27:12.000 There's nothing Aussie about him. 1.00

01:27:16.000 Yeah, you should make Aussie one of your guys. 1.00

01:27:18.000 Yeah, I'm thinking about it right now.

01:27:21.000 We opened for MDC in drag, and a bunch of Nazi skinheads showed up and wanted to fight.

01:27:27.000 They did fight because it was the Millions of Damn Christians album, and MDC had a song called Skinhead that went to the tune of S is because you're so stupid, K, like the KKK, I because you're an idiot, and then a Nazi too, 0.67

01:27:43.000 H is because we hate you, E, H and every day. 0.96

01:27:48.000 A, because we promote anarchy, and D, destroy the state.

01:27:53.000 And they weren't happy about that.

01:27:55.000 Although I heard in the South, there were so many skinheads at the show there to kill them, like 200, and there was only 50.

01:28:04.000 And Dave MDC told me that he changed the lyrics to like, S is because you're super, and K, just like you're the crazy cool, and I, because you're intelligent.

01:28:17.000 Oh, man.

01:28:20.000 They buckled.

01:28:21.000 Buckled under the pressure.

01:28:23.000 There we go.

01:28:24.000 $100 Super Chat.

01:28:25.000 We read the $100 super chats.

01:28:27.000 Gavin, when are you releasing your relationship book, How to Handle a Savage, Keeping Your Squaw in Line? 0.99

01:28:32.000 Shout out Romeo Brown.

01:28:34.000 I'm not, like, the thing about being married for a long time is you're not exactly kicking ass and taking names.

01:28:41.000 Like, you think as soon as she says, I do, she's your bitch. 1.00

01:28:45.000 And I remember hearing that when I was eight years old.

01:28:46.000 Dale Aiken, he said, once you get married, you can just go, hey, show me your tits. 1.00

01:28:53.000 And she has to be like, and show you at any time.

01:28:59.000 And you can eat her pussy. 1.00

01:29:00.000 You're going to be like, lie down.

01:29:02.000 And I was like, I remember being like maybe 10 and going, oh man, when I get married, I'm going to put my face right in her vagina. 1.00

01:29:08.000 I'm just going to go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:29:10.000 You motorboating son of a bitch.

01:29:12.000 Yeah, but if I said to my wife tonight, hey, let me see your tits, like she wouldn't even look up. 1.00

01:29:18.000 She'd just be like making eggs. 0.52

01:29:20.000 It wouldn't even register.

01:29:22.000 So you're constantly courting.

01:29:25.000 You're never really in the clear when you're married.

01:29:29.000 You're always figuring it out as you go.

01:29:35.000 We've got a live letter here talking about what we just talked about.

01:29:38.000 Is it true Tom Green stole your band's shit?

01:29:41.000 I said he did on his Instagram live when he's oot.

01:29:45.000 Yeah, so we were doing this clowny shit with a lot of projectors in the background and plots to the show and costumes and different actors running out on stage.

01:29:57.000 I believe the Wikipedia term is clown punk.

01:30:02.000 But yeah, we were doing it before his band was.

01:30:07.000 His rap band was called, it's a pun about crime.

01:30:15.000 Fuck.

01:30:15.000 Look up Tom Green's rap band.

01:30:17.000 And they would come out with ski boots on their head and they did all the same shit.

01:30:20.000 Yeah.

01:30:21.000 But he's a very talented dude and I spotted that from way back.

01:30:27.000 I discovered him the same way that a black guy invented the light bulb. 0.93

01:30:32.000 The light bulb was already invented.

01:30:34.000 He just also invented it.

01:30:35.000 Organized rhyme.

01:30:36.000 That's it.

01:30:38.000 But light bulbs were going to be fine without the black guy. 1.00

01:30:40.000 He just simultaneously invented a filament that he wanted patented.

01:30:45.000 So when I say I discovered Tom Green, Tom Green was already on his trajectory to fame.

01:30:51.000 And as he was at the very, very beginning, I go, this guy's going places.

01:30:55.000 And I told him, I go, dude, you're fucking very talented.

01:30:58.000 You're going to be rich one day.

01:31:00.000 You got the sprinkles.

01:31:01.000 And he took off.

01:31:02.000 Now, that doesn't mean that he wouldn't have done anything without me.

01:31:05.000 But the reason I knew he had the sprinkles was in Ottawa, Canada, on CKCU, there was a, or maybe it was a local public radio, it was some like local shitty radio station.

01:31:16.000 He got on and people would call in and he would fuck with them.

01:31:20.000 Like, this isn't that exciting of a dynamic.

01:31:24.000 We're doing it right now.

01:31:25.000 But he would do these things where he'd, I guess cell phones had just started and he would have people walk around and he goes, okay, go into the pizza joint.

01:31:34.000 And so he has this guy go into a pizza joint and then he says, give the pizza joint guy, the pizza maker, the phone.

01:31:41.000 I got a funny order.

01:31:42.000 And he goes, yeah, okay.

01:31:43.000 And then the guy gives the pizza dude the phone.

01:31:47.000 And then Tom goes, this man has kidnapped my daughter.

01:31:53.000 We are the FBI.

01:31:55.000 This is very important.

01:31:56.000 You need to keep him there as long as you can until we can get law enforcement there.

01:32:03.000 This is the biggest sting in the history of whatever Canadian CESIS, the RCMP.

01:32:09.000 And he convinces the pizza guy that he's dealing with a criminal.

01:32:14.000 And then the guy gets the phone back and he's like, what did you say to that guy?

01:32:18.000 He's freaking the fuck out.

01:32:20.000 And I was like, that's talent.

01:32:22.000 But yeah, Tom Green did our shit.

01:32:25.000 I'm babbling here.

01:32:27.000 That's illegal.

01:32:28.000 You can't do that, you know?

01:32:30.000 You can't go into a pizza restaurant and tell people they're fucking terrorists, man.

01:32:36.000 How is it illegal?

01:32:38.000 You can't do it.

01:32:39.000 It's against the law of law, you know?

01:32:41.000 That's not.

01:32:42.000 I'm lying right now.

01:32:44.000 Okay.

01:32:47.000 Sharon.

01:32:48.000 Sharon!

01:32:50.000 I got my fucking glasses, man.

01:32:53.000 Fucking, we did Coke off the back of a fucking armadillo's tail, man.

01:32:58.000 Sylvia, you ever do Coke?

01:33:00.000 No comment.

01:33:02.000 That sounds like a yes.

01:33:04.000 Now I've done it.

01:33:06.000 Oh, you gotta use the mic a little bit more, honey.

01:33:08.000 Use the mic, girl. 1.00

01:33:10.000 Well, I read in this book by Robbins.

01:33:18.000 You put Coke on your pussy and he puts it on his dick. 0.99

01:33:22.000 Oh, Tony Robbins.

01:33:23.000 And you go for hours.

01:33:24.000 Not true at all.

01:33:25.000 All it does is fucking numb you.

01:33:27.000 You're much better off snorting coke.

01:33:29.000 The only bad thing with cocaine is you snort it, you go up to heaven, and then you go crashing down to the pits of hell.

01:33:38.000 True.

01:33:38.000 So I think you're better off with crack or marijuana.

01:33:41.000 Well, you can do the ups all night, and then the hell doesn't come till the next day.

01:33:48.000 Yeah, but it's still coming.

01:33:49.000 But I have, I remember when I first would do Coke, it's actually after I moved to New York.

01:33:55.000 It wasn't that big in Montreal.

01:33:57.000 And you'd be doing your party all night Saturday.

01:33:59.000 You're up till like fucking 10 a.m. 0.86

01:34:02.000 And then you open up the gates to the bar because you were in the basement and the sun is blinding.

01:34:08.000 You're like, wow, that was a fucking great party.

01:34:11.000 That was fun.

01:34:11.000 It was a heavy session.

01:34:13.000 And then on Monday, you're like, why am I so blue?

01:34:18.000 Why am I depressed?

01:34:20.000 You've got a Maddie fan there.

01:34:22.000 Yeah, and you're just like, I'm not a depressed guy.

01:34:25.000 I'm a happy guy.

01:34:26.000 And nothing's really going wrong with my life.

01:34:29.000 My mom doesn't have cancer or anything.

01:34:31.000 Why am I so upset?

01:34:32.000 And you go, oh, cocaine wants its money back from Saturday night.

01:34:40.000 Wait, what was this?

01:34:41.000 What state has the highest number of censored.tv subscribers?

01:34:44.000 It's funny you say that, my friend.

01:34:46.000 Georgia.

01:34:48.000 Because I was in a meeting for about an hour today with Chatty McGee, Josh Denny, and we were talking about a censored.tv live event.

01:34:58.000 Ooh.

01:35:00.000 And he was saying, well, let's get the data from the subscribers and see what the most popular state is.

01:35:10.000 And then we'll have it there.

01:35:14.000 My gut just says Orlando would be the best place for this.

01:35:18.000 Too many old people. 1.00

01:35:19.000 Orlando has the best?

01:35:21.000 I think it would be the safest, the funnest people ever.

01:35:24.000 There's like fucking seven Proud Boys chapters just in that area.

01:35:30.000 Better off of Savannah, Georgia.

01:35:35.000 She knows our metrics.

01:35:37.000 Everything is peachy down in Georgia.

01:35:39.000 I want it to be...

01:35:40.000 Orlando's a great hub to fly into, too.

01:35:43.000 But it's all old people. 1.00

01:35:46.000 Orlando?

01:35:47.000 Yeah.

01:35:48.000 No, not Orlando proper.

01:35:50.000 The surrounding areas.

01:35:51.000 My parents live an hour away.

01:35:54.000 But I don't think Orlando itself.

01:35:58.000 Orlando is an old age home, baby.

01:36:01.000 I lived in Orlando.

01:36:02.000 Are you ageist?

01:36:04.000 I'm aged list.

01:36:06.000 Not bad.

01:36:07.000 You're A-list.

01:36:12.000 Don't let evolution make a monkey out of you, says a writer.

01:36:16.000 Nepa. 0.96

01:36:19.000 Evolution teaches that through millions and billions of years, death brought man into the world.

01:36:25.000 God's word teaches that through one man's sin, Adam, man brought death into the world.

01:36:33.000 Who's the fucking woman, man? 0.99

01:36:35.000 She gave him a fucking Nepu. 1.00

01:36:37.000 She said, here, take this, and Adam took it.

01:36:41.000 Come on, man.

01:36:45.000 Yeah, I guess I get what you're saying, but I think death is inevitable.

01:36:52.000 And with evolution, God's plan after the big boom and the first domino was, I'm going to start this evolution thing going, and eventually we're going to get to man, which is my perfect creation.

01:37:05.000 And he's going to keep getting better.

01:37:07.000 I mean, our lifespan was pathetic when we started out.

01:37:10.000 Even in the 50s, it sucked.

01:37:12.000 It was pretty low.

01:37:13.000 And now it's like 75 for men and 80 for women.

01:37:19.000 That's going to keep going up.

01:37:20.000 Social Security fucked up in America.

01:37:23.000 Yeah.

01:37:24.000 With pensions for cops and firemen, they're like, let's give them $100,000 a year because they're only going to last Another five years.

01:37:32.000 They'll get it at 65 or well, you get it at 64 or 67.

01:37:36.000 But the life expectancy was like 62.

01:37:39.000 Yeah.

01:37:40.000 Now it's $4 million.

01:37:42.000 Yeah, it's like 80, what is it, 78 for Americans?

01:37:48.000 40, 45 million.

01:37:49.000 Yeah.

01:37:50.000 I think it's 45.

01:37:50.000 If you're a cop and you hurt yourself on the job, which COVID is racking those numbers up, you got blood clots.

01:37:58.000 Okay, that was on the job.

01:38:00.000 So now they're like 75% tax-free of your best year or the best of your last four years.

01:38:08.000 So say that's $140.

01:38:10.000 Now you're up to like $100,000 a year tax-free.

01:38:13.000 Then you get Social Security.

01:38:16.000 You're only 40 years old.

01:38:17.000 Well, you can only get 60 years.

01:38:18.000 You've got another 35 years.

01:38:21.000 What?

01:38:21.000 You get Social Security at 64.

01:38:23.000 You don't get it when you retire.

01:38:25.000 Okay.

01:38:26.000 So I guess Social Security will start at 64.

01:38:29.000 Yeah.

01:38:30.000 Which is coming up if you retire at, well, not really at 44.

01:38:35.000 I didn't know that.

01:38:36.000 I thought you get Social Security right away.

01:38:38.000 No, no, no.

01:38:39.000 You get your pension right away from your apartment.

01:38:43.000 You could take an early retirement.

01:38:45.000 What's your money from, Sylvia?

01:38:48.000 Sex, sex, and more sex.

01:38:52.000 Do you get a pension?

01:38:54.000 On sex?

01:38:55.000 Hell yeah.

01:38:57.000 Okay.

01:38:57.000 You have a nice apartment.

01:38:58.000 I belong to the Curl Girls. 0.99

01:38:59.000 I brought you to your apartment last week.

01:39:01.000 It looked very nice.

01:39:03.000 I belong to the Call Girls Union.

01:39:06.000 Whoa.

01:39:07.000 Hey now.

01:39:08.000 Oldest profession in the world.

01:39:10.000 Got a lot of callers in the land, by the way.

01:39:12.000 All right, let's do some calls.

01:39:13.000 Spread them and thread them.

01:39:19.000 Bar fights.

01:39:21.000 Bar fights.

01:39:22.000 Sorry, you've been on the line for an hour.

01:39:24.000 You might know.

01:39:25.000 There you are.

01:39:25.000 Hey, buddy.

01:39:27.000 Hey, question for you.

01:39:30.000 So I like to consider myself a fairly tough guy.

01:39:33.000 I played rugby for a lot of years, broke my nose about a thousand times, broke both my arms, all that shit.

01:39:39.000 Went to boarding school, but to this day, I've never actually been in a straight-up bar fight.

01:39:44.000 So what's your advice?

01:39:47.000 Oh, this is Maddie's area of expertise.

01:39:49.000 I'm a pussy.

01:39:50.000 Anyone can get in a bar fight.

01:39:53.000 It's pretty simple.

01:39:54.000 Do you need to go out and just need to go out and look for it, or do you just wait till it comes to the business?

01:39:58.000 Wait, do you want to experience a bar fight?

01:40:00.000 I mean, if, I mean, listen, I don't advocate for violence.

01:40:04.000 It'd be wrong with me.

01:40:08.000 I mean, I've been in plenty of fights.

01:40:10.000 Been in plenty of bar fights.

01:40:13.000 Wait, sorry, Maddie.

01:40:14.000 Let me interrupt you.

01:40:16.000 Sir, are you asking what to do in a bar fight or how to get into a bar fight?

01:40:22.000 No, I'm asking, like, I mean, I'm 26.

01:40:24.000 It's kind of gay to not have been in a bar fight right now, right? 0.91

01:40:28.000 Well, have you ever been in fights with anybody ever?

01:40:31.000 I mean, doesn't have to necessarily be in a bar.

01:40:36.000 Not like swinging, you know?

01:40:38.000 I mean, I'm almost at the point where it's like, it's almost worth going out and getting knocked out just to, you know, feel it, you know?

01:40:44.000 Yeah.

01:40:45.000 I mean, if you're out there late, when we get close to last call, two o'clock.

01:40:52.000 There's always something going on.

01:40:55.000 There's some black dude who won't leave a table of girls alone, and they've asked him to leave them alone twice.

01:41:01.000 I remember Harold Hunter.

01:41:03.000 He's dead now.

01:41:04.000 I think he died of a cocaine overdose.

01:41:06.000 One of the only people in the world, that skater dude.

01:41:08.000 I remember he would always be harassing these tables of girls, and you felt like a pussy if you didn't go over and do, go, guy, Harold, Harold, just, they're not into it. 0.92

01:41:17.000 Let's, let's go.

01:41:18.000 Then he'd get violent and ornery.

01:41:22.000 There always seems to be trouble.

01:41:23.000 I like fights in bars because they last like 10 seconds.

01:41:28.000 And there's no, they get broken up and you look great.

01:41:32.000 And then you get pulled back and you get all the glamour.

01:41:34.000 And none of the...

01:41:35.000 My biggest fear, I've never had anything close to this, but you get knocked out, you're lying there, and then someone's jumping on your head.

01:41:45.000 That's the worst thing in the world.

01:41:49.000 You can get so wrong.

01:41:50.000 You can really get stomped at by a lot of guys.

01:41:53.000 Donald Trump!

01:41:54.000 That's right.

01:41:55.000 Frankly, I'm here.

01:41:58.000 I didn't even know he was here.

01:41:59.000 I feel like a Nelk boy. 1.00

01:42:00.000 No, don't you like it?

01:42:03.000 Wow, this is great.

01:42:04.000 Thank you, sir.

01:42:05.000 And thanks for calling, buddy.

01:42:07.000 Wow, this is an honor, Mr. Trump.

01:42:09.000 Thank you for coming by.

01:42:10.000 Not a problem.

01:42:11.000 Gavin, I love the show.

01:42:12.000 Love what you do with it.

01:42:13.000 But I had no idea.

01:42:15.000 Of course.

01:42:15.000 The bird, which is the...

01:42:19.000 You know the whole bird thing?

01:42:21.000 I like bird.

01:42:22.000 We have bald eagle tattoos.

01:42:23.000 I like your new sunglasses.

01:42:25.000 This guy knows all around such a lot.

01:42:27.000 Put it there.

01:42:28.000 Nice.

01:42:29.000 Sylvia, Donald Trump is here.

01:42:31.000 Hey, Donald.

01:42:32.000 Donnie boy.

01:42:33.000 I'm jealous of your black clips.

01:42:37.000 Well, let me tell you what.

01:42:39.000 I would fuck you with my heels on. 1.00

01:42:44.000 Your heels? 0.74

01:42:45.000 You don't wear heels on.

01:42:46.000 You sound like a super fan.

01:42:47.000 You're a baby monster.

01:42:49.000 Donald Trump is officially a baby monster.

01:42:51.000 This is amazing.

01:42:52.000 Amaving.

01:42:53.000 Baby boy.

01:42:54.000 Come to mama.

01:42:56.000 I will come to mama and I'll go home to mommy.

01:42:59.000 Okay, and that's frankly you.

01:43:01.000 But I've been to a lot of bar fights.

01:43:03.000 A lot of people, you know, I'm leaving I'm getting a scotch or something like that.

01:43:07.000 And then I don't drink.

01:43:08.000 I just hold it.

01:43:09.000 I look cool.

01:43:10.000 I was going to say, I don't think the brother was.

01:43:15.000 I heard you drink carrot juice, Donald.

01:43:17.000 I do drink carrot juice.

01:43:19.000 Unless you're dissing me because of my big bunny.

01:43:22.000 Because of my color.

01:43:24.000 Which is not very cool.

01:43:25.000 But I love Syl.

01:43:26.000 She's great.

01:43:27.000 Great addition.

01:43:28.000 But the bar fights, they're kicking people. 0.88

01:43:31.000 Have you seen what they're doing?

01:43:32.000 They take you to the bar.

01:43:34.000 They fight you, the blacks, I don't want to say, the African-American. 1.00

01:43:39.000 And then you're on the ground and they're kicking you in the head.

01:43:41.000 And it's like, when does it end?

01:43:44.000 It's like being raped.

01:43:46.000 They're raping you with their foot.

01:43:48.000 What a violation to be kicked in the head when you're unconscious.

01:43:51.000 It just every time I see a foot.

01:43:53.000 You never know what hits you.

01:43:54.000 Everything online or anything, it just makes me go.

01:43:58.000 It's like seeing hell.

01:43:59.000 I don't know.

01:44:00.000 It's just something that's so beyond the pale of the head.

01:44:03.000 When you wake up, you suffer amnesia.

01:44:06.000 You don't know who you are.

01:44:08.000 You don't remember what the hell happened.

01:44:10.000 It's like a roofie.

01:44:11.000 It's like taking a roofie, for instance.

01:44:13.000 Here's a crazy thing to say: say there's a fight, and then you notice during the fight some psycho stabs someone in the fight.

01:44:20.000 That's horrible.

01:44:22.000 Those are not the rules.

01:44:24.000 Kicking a passed-out guy in the head is worse.

01:44:28.000 Of course.

01:44:30.000 Both just dangerous and could be deadly.

01:44:33.000 It's so immoral.

01:44:35.000 Now you'll have brain damage your whole damn life.

01:44:39.000 Mr. Trump, will you stick around?

01:44:41.000 Of course.

01:44:41.000 I love the show, and I'm going to stick around for the callers.

01:44:44.000 I mean, you can call in right now, 718-400, they say that.

01:44:48.000 400, right?

01:44:50.000 6959.

01:44:51.000 Those are the numbers.

01:44:52.000 So if you're listening, now you can call.

01:44:54.000 Okay.

01:44:57.000 What's the matter with your eyes?

01:44:59.000 Donald, my bad.

01:45:01.000 It's crazy.

01:45:03.000 I tell you what, these eyes, they're nuts.

01:45:05.000 These eyes.

01:45:07.000 Melania.

01:45:08.000 These eyes will never see them.

01:45:11.000 Like you.

01:45:13.000 These eyes.

01:45:15.000 You know that song, Sylvia?

01:45:16.000 Of course.

01:45:17.000 Burton Cummins.

01:45:18.000 Mine eyes have never, never seen the likes of you.

01:45:22.000 You go, Donald.

01:45:24.000 Now we could see your eyes.

01:45:26.000 In your eyes, the light, the heat, right?

01:45:29.000 I am complete in your eyes.

01:45:30.000 What's your bedtime usually, Sylvia?

01:45:34.000 When I'm done with sex.

01:45:36.000 Oh.

01:45:39.000 So never.

01:45:40.000 So you never sleep.

01:45:41.000 The city that never sleeps.

01:45:42.000 Shine on Harvest Moon.

01:45:46.000 The Sylvia that never sleeps.

01:45:49.000 Okay, let's take some more calls.

01:45:51.000 We're running out of time here.

01:45:52.000 We're down to the last 14 minutes of the show.

01:45:55.000 All right, we have Calvin.

01:45:56.000 Hello.

01:45:57.000 Calvin Candy, any relation?

01:45:58.000 Go ahead.

01:45:59.000 Hello.

01:46:00.000 Hello.

01:46:02.000 Gavin, can you hear me?

01:46:03.000 Yes.

01:46:05.000 First of all, Uhuru.

01:46:07.000 Second of all, you are an American hero.

01:46:09.000 I want to say hi to Phil, Maddie, and the chink. 1.00

01:46:13.000 Always a pleasure.

01:46:14.000 No, just kidding.

01:46:15.000 What's up, Ryan?

01:46:16.000 What's up?

01:46:18.000 So I came across a joke today, and I wanted to get your expert opinion, Gavin, if this was true.

01:46:25.000 Back in the day, obviously, in medieval times, women wouldn't wash down there, right, for months. 0.99

01:46:34.000 And how was it not rampant diseases and STDs?

01:46:39.000 Because at that point, if you're not washing down there for months, it's like a marinated pussy, right? 1.00

01:46:44.000 I mean, it's horrible.

01:46:47.000 Yeah, but wouldn't they use like a warm facecloth and like soap it up and just do a horse bath? 0.56

01:46:55.000 Sylvia, in the 60s, how often would a woman wash her vagina in 1968? 1.00

01:47:01.000 Every other day.

01:47:03.000 Oh, really?

01:47:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:05.000 In these evil times, the French would not bathe.

01:47:11.000 That's how perfume came about. 1.00

01:47:14.000 But they also didn't circumcise, and the dick cheese in the foreskins must have been alarming. 0.92

01:47:20.000 Men were always dirtier than women, okay? 1.00

01:47:25.000 But the women's parts are on the inside. 1.00

01:47:28.000 The men's parts are on the outside.

01:47:32.000 So women, basically, I hate to tell you, Cola, are cleaner than men. 1.00

01:47:37.000 Get over it and live through it.

01:47:39.000 Amen.

01:47:41.000 You know, and the main reason for calling was I've been with my girlfriend for about two years, ex now.

01:47:49.000 Everything was going well, and about a week ago, I find pictures in her phone of her naked brother.

01:47:57.000 I wish I was joking, but I am not.

01:48:00.000 We live here in South Dakota, so it's kind of made a joke here, but this honestly happened, and I wanted to get away.

01:48:10.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

01:48:12.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:48:14.000 Okay, first of all, the nakedity.

01:48:17.000 Is this like sexual or is it like a guy jumping off a dock at a party skinny dipping?

01:48:23.000 Definitely sexual.

01:48:25.000 It's absolutely abhorrent.

01:48:28.000 How positive are you that that's her brother and she wasn't lying about some guy she's fucking?

01:48:33.000 And when you found out, she goes, oh, that's just my brother.

01:48:37.000 Well, I know for a fact it's her brother because I've met her brother.

01:48:41.000 And they've always been very close.

01:48:43.000 And I actually had made jokes because they were very touchy.

01:48:47.000 But I was like, there's no way there's any connection here sexually, obviously.

01:48:52.000 Are you 100% positive that's the brother?

01:48:55.000 100% positive.

01:48:56.000 100 is a big number.

01:48:58.000 You know, condoms, they say 99.9%.

01:49:01.000 It is her brother.

01:49:02.000 It's absolutely disgusting.

01:49:04.000 Broke up, and I'm appalled.

01:49:06.000 And right when I thought this is a woman of my dreams, that happened. 0.55

01:49:11.000 So, I mean, there's no chance.

01:49:13.000 I mean, obviously I'd miss her, but there's no way in hell I should take her back, right?

01:49:17.000 No.

01:49:18.000 If she is sexually attracted to her brother, I'm afraid that's a deal breaker.

01:49:24.000 Thanks for calling.

01:49:26.000 That wasn't a tough one.

01:49:27.000 Let's go back to some hundreds, though.

01:49:29.000 We skipped over a few hundreds.

01:49:32.000 Why no golf episodes with Gavin Crewe?

01:49:35.000 That's a great idea.

01:49:36.000 We should do a golfing app.

01:49:37.000 It's getting warm again.

01:49:38.000 I can't believe we didn't have winter in New York.

01:49:41.000 There was like three or four snowy days.

01:49:44.000 There was two or three very and now it's over?

01:49:48.000 No, Saturday.

01:49:50.000 Rain and snow.

01:49:51.000 A lot of it.

01:49:52.000 We had rain and snow yesterday, and today it was bullshit.

01:49:56.000 Like there was barely any snow.

01:49:58.000 I'm coming back Saturday.

01:49:59.000 This is a bullshit winter.

01:50:00.000 I'm going to have a great snow.

01:50:02.000 I'm petrified of what the summer is going to hold.

01:50:04.000 We're going to have a great St. Patty's Day.

01:50:06.000 Everyone, tune in to Keep Off by Lawn.

01:50:09.000 St. Patty's Day will rock your world.

01:50:12.000 K-O-M-L, baby. 1.00

01:50:15.000 Okay, that's one of the hundreds.

01:50:16.000 Next.

01:50:18.000 Maddie looks like the Tootsie Pop owl. 0.57

01:50:20.000 That's true.

01:50:20.000 Can you say one?

01:50:21.000 A Toho?

01:50:22.000 One.

01:50:22.000 A three.

01:50:23.000 Two.

01:50:23.000 Three licks to get to the center of Tootsie Row Pop.

01:50:26.000 The world may never know.

01:50:28.000 You should get a tattoo of that guy.

01:50:30.000 Now I got to look him up.

01:50:32.000 What's the other $100 one, though?

01:50:33.000 Tell Thirsty Gav and Chink on a train story again. 1.00

01:50:37.000 No.

01:50:37.000 We just did.

01:50:38.000 I didn't tell Thirsty Gav and Chink on a train story. 1.00

01:50:40.000 Like two weeks ago we did.

01:50:41.000 What's that one?

01:50:42.000 The one where he ate corn.

01:50:44.000 Oh, my God.

01:50:45.000 That's not even a good story.

01:50:47.000 Come on, guy.

01:50:51.000 What's the other 100 one, though?

01:50:53.000 Why you don't review books anymore?

01:50:55.000 No, that was it.

01:50:56.000 I went back to it twice.

01:50:58.000 Do you guys read it?

01:50:59.000 No, there's another 100, though.

01:51:00.000 There is no 100?

01:51:02.000 That was the 100, but I passed it twice, so it looks like it was two.

01:51:06.000 Tootsie Pop Al has big round glasses, though.

01:51:09.000 I wear glasses.

01:51:11.000 Are they big and round?

01:51:12.000 Big round glasses.

01:51:13.000 Yeah, I don't have those.

01:51:16.000 Like John Lennon, the round ones.

01:51:19.000 Yeah.

01:51:20.000 They're great.

01:51:22.000 Okay, I feel like we have an Unturned Stone, though.

01:51:25.000 Unturned Roger Stone.

01:51:26.000 Are you sure that we're not missing a $100 one?

01:51:29.000 Oh, yeah, that was it.

01:51:30.000 Right.

01:51:30.000 And I thought it was $100.

01:51:32.000 Someone said, check the news, they just bombed a nuclear reactor.

01:51:36.000 I don't think that's correct.

01:51:37.000 They bombed a children's hospital, and then I saw that two days ago, Ryan.

01:51:42.000 Go to Twitter, 9, 12 p.m.

01:51:44.000 Moments.

01:51:46.000 Twitter.

01:51:47.000 I always go to Twitter for this kind of shit.

01:51:50.000 I got a piss.

01:51:52.000 I think we should end with a song by John Lennon.

01:51:56.000 Imagine.

01:51:58.000 Imagine all the people living peacefully.

01:52:02.000 Imagine there's no religion.

01:52:05.000 Imagine there's no heaven.

01:52:07.000 And one day the world will be one.

01:52:12.000 You may say I'm a dreamer.

01:52:14.000 I'm not the only one.

01:52:16.000 Come join me so the world will be one.

01:52:20.000 Amen.

01:52:21.000 That's so true.

01:52:22.000 Go for it, suckers.

01:52:23.000 Go big time.

01:52:25.000 Uh-oh.

01:52:26.000 Ukraine has lost all the community.

01:52:26.000 Audio on out.

01:52:28.000 Chernobyl nuclear power plant official agency says.

01:52:35.000 Ukraine has lost all communication with a Chernobyl nuclear power plant.

01:52:42.000 Here's a dumb thing.

01:52:44.000 Is Chernobyl in Ukraine?

01:52:45.000 Yeah.

01:52:46.000 Yes.

01:52:46.000 Oh, I didn't realize that.

01:52:48.000 But it's been like a desolated, like, what was the word they've...

01:52:54.000 It's like an o-gozone since like 1984 or 86.

01:52:58.000 Of course, yeah.

01:52:58.000 But they say if they don't have electricity, they can't cool the cobalt or whatever.

01:53:05.000 Oh, we can't cool our cobalt either.

01:53:08.000 I had a cobalt fart in the car the other day with the kids in it, and my daughter goes, oh, whose breath smells like that?

01:53:15.000 A robot?

01:53:17.000 And they brave Johnny.

01:53:18.000 Wow.

01:53:19.000 My nine-year-old.

01:53:19.000 They're like, is that you?

01:53:21.000 I go, kids' breath doesn't smell bad.

01:53:23.000 I can tell you last Thursday, after the show, we went for.

01:53:28.000 Oh, yeah.

01:53:28.000 They were not cobalt.

01:53:31.000 Not by any stretch of anyone's imagination.

01:53:33.000 Was there any weird smell of it?

01:53:34.000 Was it poo-poo? 0.83

01:53:36.000 They were rancid.

01:53:37.000 They were rancid.

01:53:38.000 They almost killed me and Jimmy.

01:53:40.000 I know.

01:53:40.000 You had to leave.

01:53:41.000 No, it was terrible.

01:53:42.000 You went to the bathroom and closed the door and you didn't have to go to the bathroom.

01:53:45.000 It would have been better if it was this Thursday because I can't smell anything.

01:53:48.000 True.

01:53:49.000 But was it poo-poo? 0.88

01:53:52.000 It was shit.

01:53:53.000 It was sulfur.

01:53:54.000 It was pure, unadulterated shit.

01:53:58.000 Really?

01:53:58.000 Yeah.

01:53:59.000 Okay, that's good news.

01:54:00.000 And they were silent and deadly.

01:54:02.000 That's good news because it shows that I'm getting some of my feces back.

01:54:06.000 Yeah.

01:54:07.000 Sylvia, if you're not familiar, we've noticed that since we got COVID, our farts don't smell like shit anymore.

01:54:12.000 But Maddie's saying, good news, you're back.

01:54:14.000 You smell like French perfume.

01:54:17.000 Promise her anything, but give her shit.

01:54:21.000 Not give her a pen.

01:54:22.000 Give us shit.

01:54:23.000 You know what we've brought this show back to?

01:54:25.000 This is Manhattan cable access, public access.

01:54:31.000 Like, remember Robin?

01:54:33.000 Remember Robin, what's her name, that porn star?

01:54:37.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:38.000 See if you can dig her up.

01:54:39.000 She had a cable access show.

01:54:41.000 It was really good.

01:54:43.000 And we would just watch it.

01:54:45.000 The fact that everyone was naked was irrelevant.

01:54:48.000 Robin Bird?

01:54:49.000 Robin Bird, yeah.

01:54:51.000 She clicked because her belly button sank. 0.97

01:54:54.000 Do you know Robin Bird?

01:54:55.000 Do you remember her?

01:54:56.000 I know Robin Big.

01:54:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:59.000 It would be broadcast to the South Bronx.

01:55:02.000 It was Manhattan.

01:55:03.000 And I lived 17 years on the west side of the world.

01:55:06.000 There she is.

01:55:08.000 She sued Time Warner to keep her show on the air.

01:55:12.000 God, it's funny when...

01:55:15.000 I think our tastes change over time.

01:55:17.000 Because I remember thinking she's the hottest woman in the world.

01:55:20.000 And now I'm looking at someone with like some dude with shit on his face.

01:55:26.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.

01:55:31.000 That was his complexion.

01:55:33.000 So lucky that is a lucky bird.

01:55:36.000 But see if they have any footage.

01:55:37.000 Look up Robin Bird footage.

01:55:40.000 That's my goal with Get Off My Lawn Live, is to reach the point where we're Robin Bird Live.

01:55:47.000 Well, we have Robin and Owl, so Robin Bird.

01:55:52.000 Your wife is going to kill you, Gavin. 1.00

01:55:55.000 Really?

01:55:56.000 Oh, yeah.

01:55:57.000 No.

01:55:58.000 Hi.

01:55:59.000 Hi there.

01:56:00.000 I want to welcome you all to my special Convention Years Hour.

01:56:07.000 I want you to...

01:56:09.000 She looks like a fucking jump in the middle. 1.00

01:56:13.000 This is at a convention, I think.

01:56:14.000 That's a big production.

01:56:15.000 Yeah.

01:56:16.000 It costs way over budget.

01:56:19.000 Don't we love that, right?

01:56:21.000 When we just spend all that money.

01:56:23.000 So what are you doing?

01:56:24.000 Okay, anyway.

01:56:25.000 You get the idea.

01:56:26.000 We're down to the last three minutes of the show, folks.

01:56:29.000 Oh, my.

01:56:30.000 Let's focus on being bros together.

01:56:36.000 Okay.

01:56:39.000 We've got Dylan talking about video games.

01:56:41.000 Dylan, you're on the line.

01:56:43.000 Hello.

01:56:44.000 Hey, man.

01:56:46.000 What's up?

01:56:47.000 Hey, Gavin, back in your Ripple news days, you were talking about how video games were just a passion and just a hobby.

01:56:55.000 You talked about JonTron being one of those people you mentioned in the videos Back then.

01:57:01.000 What actually changed that?

01:57:03.000 What changed what?

01:57:05.000 Your views on video games.

01:57:07.000 I've never changed my views on video games.

01:57:09.000 You asked this last week.

01:57:11.000 Remember?

01:57:11.000 No, I'm not the same guy.

01:57:12.000 Oh, you're not the same guy.

01:57:15.000 So, your spin on it is this JonTron guy.

01:57:17.000 I met JonTron.

01:57:18.000 Seemed like a cool dude.

01:57:19.000 I met him with Lauren Southern in the city.

01:57:23.000 That doesn't mean I like video games.

01:57:26.000 Yeah, but you guys said video games were a hobby and a passion.

01:57:30.000 I can name the video if Ryan wants to look it up.

01:57:32.000 It's the video where you're mentioning the different sections of the right.

01:57:35.000 You go from, you know, middle line, trenchline, and conservatives to people on the far right.

01:57:40.000 And that was, you mentioned John Tron in that video, and you said video games were a hobby.

01:57:44.000 And so I wanted to know what happened.

01:57:46.000 Okay, they're a hobby.

01:57:46.000 Fine.

01:57:47.000 They're a hobby.

01:57:48.000 You spend way too much time with your stupid fucking hobby.

01:57:51.000 Like, imagine your trains were your hobby, and you spent six hours a day with your fucking trains.

01:57:56.000 Wouldn't that be embarrassing?

01:58:00.000 Okay, that's a fair point.

01:58:01.000 Okay.

01:58:01.000 All right.

01:58:02.000 Thanks for calling.

01:58:02.000 Get a life.

01:58:04.000 Stop playing fucking video games.

01:58:07.000 Get a life.

01:58:08.000 You know what it's almost like?

01:58:10.000 It's almost like people reinterpreting the Bible.

01:58:12.000 Be like, well, you did say in chapter Rebel News, we could interpret that as you think video games are going to be.

01:58:17.000 I understand how you defend sitting there for six hours being Spider-Man or being, in Ryan's case, a woman who's running through the jungle killing dinosaurs.

01:58:30.000 Robot dinosaurs.

01:58:31.000 Like, are you in jail?

01:58:33.000 If you were in jail, I'd go, wow, you figured out a way to pass the time.

01:58:36.000 Nice one.

01:58:37.000 Ooh, 100.

01:58:39.000 Gavin, would you rather pose for 100 selfies?

01:58:45.000 Would you rather have been the AFPAC?

01:58:49.000 I do what we pose for 100 selfies on a regular basis.

01:58:51.000 But guys, when you're doing would you rather, don't throw in gay shit. 0.99

01:58:56.000 Obviously, like, suck 10 dicks for a billion dollars. 1.00

01:59:02.000 No.

01:59:02.000 You wouldn't do anything gay for any amount of money because later on, you're walking down the street and you're like, I sucked 10 dicks.

01:59:12.000 Say you have your own jet plane.

01:59:14.000 Everyone's on board.

01:59:15.000 We're going to a visa. 0.98

01:59:17.000 Hey, great.

01:59:17.000 How'd you get this?

01:59:18.000 I sucked 10 dicks. 1.00

01:59:20.000 I had gay sex. 0.98

01:59:21.000 Ah, see.

01:59:25.000 It's not happening.

01:59:26.000 Would you rather do this or fucking jerk off your dad?

01:59:30.000 I don't care what this is.

01:59:32.000 I'm not doing that.

01:59:33.000 So stop making gay things part of ultimatums or someone fucks your wife or you jerk off your dad. 0.76

01:59:41.000 Like all of those ones are outside of death.

01:59:43.000 They're obviously a no.

01:59:47.000 It should be like, here's the perfect would you rather.

01:59:50.000 Would you rather dance 100% of everywhere you went, even if you get up in the middle of the night to go pee, or eat a piece of shit about the size of a walnut every morning?

01:59:59.000 You can just put it like you can throw it down and then chug milk.

02:00:03.000 What would you rather do?

02:00:06.000 There's no homo shit. 1.00

02:00:07.000 There's no weird gay shit bothering me forever. 1.00

02:00:09.000 There's no dad shit.

02:00:11.000 Come on, guys.

02:00:12.000 Grow up.

02:00:13.000 Stop playing video games.

02:00:15.000 Get fired.

02:00:16.000 Get in trouble.

02:00:17.000 Get a life.

02:00:17.000 Be brave.

02:00:18.000 Be brave.

02:00:19.000 And never stop fighting.

02:00:21.000 Cheers, everybody.

02:00:25.000 Thanks, Maddie, for coming to the show.

02:00:27.000 Thanks, Sylvia.

02:00:27.000 Oh, yeah, always.

02:00:29.000 Pleasure, pleasure.

02:00:33.000 Can I not get my call in?

02:00:36.000 With me.

02:00:40.000 Say a prayer for everybody on the deathbed that there will be dark stars.

02:00:54.000 Say a prayer for everybody on the deathbed that there will be dark stars.

02:01:08.000 Say a prayer for.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 11, 2022

GOML LIVE #139 - STOLEN MUSIC

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