Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #142 - NAZI BUNS

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Up My One with Kevin McGuinness The Eagle and the Pearl Living here of the pending nuclear warfare.

00:00:30.000 What does the matter of fact?

00:00:32.000 Believe it turned back.

00:00:34.000 Plenty people don't care whether it came in and turned out.

00:00:38.000 First one quarter with the young man rears about survival.

00:00:42.000 Destruction is a fear.

00:00:44.000 Them life already coming like a knife.

00:00:50.000 And you can see it everywhere.

00:00:52.000 The famine and the fear.

00:00:54.000 The doubt and the drought.

00:00:55.000 Desperation and the fear.

00:00:57.000 And you can see it all around.

00:00:59.000 The massacres abound.

00:01:00.000 Dead bodies all around.

00:01:02.000 The tragedies abound.

00:01:04.000 Missing persons can't be found.

00:01:08.000 Fucking guy, man.

00:01:12.000 Linton Quasi Johnson, yet another yardy, an immigrant from Jamaica to England after the mass diaspora, the exodus of 69. 0.72

00:01:23.000 Jamaica declared independence and said, fuck you, England.

00:01:28.000 And five years later said, yo, England, Waguan.

00:01:33.000 Would you mind if I came ashore, you know?

00:01:36.000 Oh, what happened to your little island?

00:01:38.000 Yeah.

00:01:39.000 That's kind of, it's not as good since you left.

00:01:42.000 Oh, okay.

00:01:45.000 Yeah, come over.

00:01:46.000 You like soccer and Guinness.

00:01:48.000 You're part of the club already.

00:01:49.000 You'll blend in nicely.

00:01:50.000 There was a couple riots, like the cover of the Clash album, right?

00:01:56.000 The Guns of Brixton and all that.

00:01:58.000 But they did pretty well.

00:02:02.000 And then you have immigrates like Linton Quasy Johnson. 0.93

00:02:05.000 Unlike the specials and all the great ska bands.

00:02:12.000 Linton Quasy Johnson did a new kind of assimilation.

00:02:16.000 He's actually a pioneer for this kind of assimilation, which is, I'm going to bitch and gripe about this country, and you people will love it. 0.71

00:02:24.000 And it's true. 0.56

00:02:25.000 Americans, Brits, Europeans, Westerners love shitting on their country.

00:02:31.000 And they love it when you come here and go, this place sucks.

00:02:35.000 So one of his biggest hits, of course, was England is a bitch, bitch, bitch. 1.00

00:02:40.000 There's no escape in it.

00:02:43.000 Did it?

00:02:44.000 England is a bitch, Fitrue. 1.00

00:02:47.000 As you have white, his whole white band, like, so true. 0.99

00:02:52.000 Sonny's Letta was all about the police and how evil they are, and they beat up this kid, and he's in jail now.

00:02:57.000 And then that song, what do you got there?

00:03:00.000 England is a bitch. 1.00

00:03:01.000 So he's a poet, right?

00:03:03.000 The band was all like supplied by the country he hates.

00:03:08.000 England is a bitch. 1.00

00:03:10.000 There's no escaping.

00:03:13.000 Okay, then leave.

00:03:14.000 England is a bitch. 1.00

00:03:17.000 Eskiapen.

00:03:18.000 That's got to be fun to talk that way, though.

00:03:19.000 Eskiapen.

00:03:20.000 Eskiapen.

00:03:21.000 That's what I would do if I, I don't know, had nothing but free time and no family and no studio and no show and was forced to do this at gunpoint.

00:03:30.000 I want to do a documentary about Puerto Rican Spanish, Glaswegian English, Jamaican English.

00:03:36.000 Actually, that's not a good triad, is it?

00:03:40.000 Jamaican English, Glaswegian English, and it has to be another English.

00:03:45.000 Like maybe deep, deep south.

00:03:47.000 They couldn't be black either.

00:03:48.000 You're already covered black with Jamaicans. 1.00

00:03:50.000 Some other weird English.

00:03:52.000 But I love the bastardization of language.

00:03:56.000 It's interesting to me.

00:03:57.000 But anyway, that song, The Eagle and the Beer, people living in fear, is where we're at now, right?

00:04:04.000 The Eagle, America, and the Bear, Russia. 0.81

00:04:06.000 We're living in fear of an impending nuclear war fair.

00:04:10.000 You can rhyme fear and fair in Jamaica.

00:04:15.000 And the funny part about his version of events is, why are you so worried about a nuclear war?

00:04:21.000 We're living in hell now.

00:04:23.000 There is annihilation and poverty everywhere in this shithole called England.

00:04:28.000 But I kind of, it's very relevant today.

00:04:33.000 I mean, we do, I kind of agree with him in many ways.

00:04:35.000 Like, why are you worrying about nuclear annihilation when we're dealing with this brutal economy and we've got pedophile teachers and we've got fucking oil prices through the roof and unemployment and nothing can get done and the supply chain is all fucked and we've sort of lost our hubris and we're in a national divorce where one side hates the other and fucking proud boys up in Connecticut.

00:05:03.000 What was the name of the town?

00:05:05.000 Check my getter.

00:05:06.000 They just did a food drive.

00:05:08.000 They got 800 pounds of food, cans, chips, everything.

00:05:13.000 Donated it to loaves and fish shelter, food service thingamajiggy for the homeless.

00:05:25.000 And they said, thank you so much for bringing this.

00:05:27.000 Then some cunt journalist, I think I may have caught him, calls them up and goes, you know that's from Proud Boys, right? 0.99

00:05:34.000 And they go, no, thank you.

00:05:35.000 It's garbage.

00:05:37.000 Dude, what are you doing?

00:05:38.000 That's like from 100 years ago.

00:05:41.000 What the hell?

00:05:45.000 And so they've refused it.

00:05:46.000 And Proud Boys go, what are you doing?

00:05:48.000 You're not going to take our donation?

00:05:50.000 Yeah, Einfeld, Connecticut.

00:05:54.000 Loaves and Fishes.

00:05:55.000 So go down one.

00:05:58.000 This woman, presumably an affirmative action hire, Maya Nicole Matthews, she gets the job to run Loaves. 0.74

00:06:06.000 What's it called?

00:06:07.000 Loaves and Fish?

00:06:08.000 Go up one?

00:06:11.000 Yep, Loaves and Fish.

00:06:12.000 Loaves and Fishes, right?

00:06:13.000 Obviously a biblical reference.

00:06:15.000 And she says, no, doesn't that mean, first of all, she's making her own career and political aspirations.

00:06:21.000 She's putting that above the people, the homeless people there, who I presume are disproportionately black.

00:06:25.000 That's the pattern in the country.

00:06:27.000 So she's putting her own fucking politics above poor people getting food. 1.00

00:06:34.000 Isn't that a violation of their 501c?

00:06:36.000 Are you not a nonprofit anymore if you're making it political?

00:06:39.000 Because that's political.

00:06:41.000 Now, the fact that she's wrong isn't that relevant.

00:06:44.000 Should you be analyzing the politics of the people who donate?

00:06:48.000 What if they were Nazis? 0.52

00:06:50.000 If I'm starving, you can feed me Nazi buns. 1.00

00:06:58.000 Is that a good name for a band?

00:06:59.000 Nazi buns? 0.63

00:07:00.000 I was just thinking, I was trying to work some pun.

00:07:04.000 What if that was the chapter, what if like in the history books and Wikipedia one day they were like, and then the Nazis actually started coming around.

00:07:10.000 They started donating food to disproportionately black homeless people.

00:07:14.000 Well, that's the other thing.

00:07:15.000 Like, I don't want to get in the weeds of why she's wrong to call them that.

00:07:19.000 Right.

00:07:20.000 That's a waste of time.

00:07:21.000 That's so two years ago.

00:07:23.000 But yeah, if you do want to get in the weeds, why would Nazis be donating to black people, Mexican people?

00:07:31.000 I mean, if they were Nazis, they'd have a caveat, right? 0.51

00:07:34.000 That says this is just for whites. 0.96

00:07:35.000 Right.

00:07:36.000 Or it's like shit that only white people would like.

00:07:39.000 I don't know.

00:07:40.000 Like what?

00:07:40.000 Jell-O?

00:07:41.000 What do only white people eat? 0.72

00:07:43.000 Everyone else goes, what the fuck?

00:07:45.000 You crazy, motherfucker.

00:07:46.000 That's a good one.

00:07:47.000 Shortbread.

00:07:48.000 Please write in with your...

00:07:50.000 Yeah.

00:07:50.000 BLTs?

00:07:52.000 No, I think they're not.

00:07:53.000 Have you ever seen a black guy have a BLT? 0.72

00:07:55.000 I've never really seen black people eating a BLT, but some of them do hate pork, right? 1.00

00:08:01.000 Well, yeah, that's not as common as it is on TV, though.

00:08:04.000 Anyway.

00:08:07.000 So I don't know.

00:08:08.000 I thought it was funny that the song is so prescient, and it also is one of my favorite subjects, Amen Grates.

00:08:15.000 And I want you to call it.

00:08:16.000 Now, don't be racist with that woman and do something stupid like you fucking black bitch. 1.00

00:08:20.000 Then you're just justifying.

00:08:22.000 That's right up her alley. 1.00

00:08:24.000 But I think, and I did this, I think you should call her and go, so what's going on here?

00:08:29.000 You check the political affiliations of your donors and you deny them food.

00:08:35.000 There was 800 pounds of food there yesterday.

00:08:38.000 And they said, if you don't come and pick this up, we're throwing it in the garbage.

00:08:43.000 Poor people are there going, could I have a nibble?

00:08:46.000 And then I talked to some people.

00:08:47.000 There's a rumor going around.

00:08:48.000 This hasn't been validated, but there's a rumor going around that plowboys waited outside and said, fine, fuck you.

00:08:55.000 We'll just feed them as they come in for help.

00:08:58.000 And they were like, no, thank you.

00:09:00.000 And I think, and I have it by good authority, that the homeless people were told, if you accept any food from those Nazis, you're never coming here again.

00:09:11.000 So they're like, sorry, I can't eat.

00:09:13.000 Sorry.

00:09:15.000 Go back.

00:09:15.000 What's her name?

00:09:17.000 Maya Matthews.

00:09:20.000 Mrs. Matthews?

00:09:22.000 What a cunt. 1.00

00:09:24.000 With a nose ring.

00:09:25.000 Yeah.

00:09:26.000 How old are you, ma'am?

00:09:27.000 You don't have to say, I agree with this group and everything they do.

00:09:30.000 When you get asked by the journalists or whatever, you just go, it's not my job to get into the political affiliations of the donors.

00:09:38.000 That's not what we do here.

00:09:40.000 We're a Christian organization that's here to help the poor.

00:09:43.000 I'm not going to do an, what do they call it?

00:09:47.000 An audit.

00:09:48.000 I'm not going to do an ethical audit on everyone who walks in the door.

00:09:51.000 I don't have time.

00:09:53.000 Yeah.

00:09:56.000 By the way, one of the journalists, I said to him, the guy who wrote that article, I said to him, I said, you ready for this?

00:10:09.000 Here's the article here.

00:10:10.000 Why isn't it displaying?

00:10:11.000 Do you get this?

00:10:12.000 On journalinquirer.com.

00:10:15.000 Where it doesn't display?

00:10:17.000 Yeah.

00:10:17.000 I said, you don't find it kind of unusual that a black woman is denying and then I put in brackets, presumably disproportionately, black people food?

00:10:26.000 And he goes, what would make you assume, presume that?

00:10:32.000 So he's baiting me like I'm going to say something racist, like, well, black people are always hungrier.

00:10:37.000 I don't know what the fuck he's trying to make me say.

00:10:40.000 Black people say it themselves.

00:10:43.000 They complain about that all the time.

00:10:44.000 I go, oh, cute.

00:10:45.000 You're acting coy, so I'll say something racist.

00:10:47.000 How totally not an activist and totally a journalist of you.

00:10:50.000 First of all, we didn't bring identity politics into this.

00:10:52.000 You and Maya did.

00:10:54.000 I'm just explaining your hypocrisy using your logic.

00:10:56.000 The general pattern is blacks are overrepresented in the homeless population.

00:11:00.000 It's safe to assume this pattern rears its ugly head in your neck of the woods also.

00:11:05.000 The big picture here, however, is letting personal optics trump people getting help perfectly sums up why so many people hate assholes like you. 0.57

00:11:13.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:11:14.000 Which is my new favorite thing to say.

00:11:18.000 It kind of means the end of the discussion, too, doesn't it?

00:11:20.000 Yeah.

00:11:21.000 I mean, how can you...

00:11:22.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:11:22.000 You can't talk anymore if you're fucking yourself.

00:11:24.000 It's better than fuck you, I think.

00:11:26.000 Right.

00:11:27.000 Fuck you makes you sound a little vulnerable.

00:11:30.000 Like, I don't know.

00:11:31.000 Fuck fuck you. 0.99

00:11:33.000 Right.

00:11:34.000 Like, I'm mad.

00:11:35.000 Please go.

00:11:36.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:11:38.000 Means, like, you go away and I don't care what you do when you're gone away.

00:11:44.000 You're away for good.

00:11:45.000 Right.

00:11:46.000 It's better than Tucker's, fuck you.

00:11:49.000 I hate you.

00:11:50.000 Yeah.

00:11:53.000 Fuck you, I hate you.

00:11:54.000 I love it.

00:11:55.000 It was my second favorite.

00:11:56.000 It was big last week.

00:11:57.000 But the problem with fuck you, I hate you is it's sort of like I'm reluctantly saying goodbye.

00:12:03.000 Fuck you.

00:12:04.000 I hate you.

00:12:06.000 It's like this revelation that I don't like you anymore and I can't believe we've come to this.

00:12:11.000 Right.

00:12:11.000 It's too vulnerable.

00:12:13.000 Yeah.

00:12:13.000 It's like I'm not even done with you.

00:12:15.000 It's announcing that I'm done with you.

00:12:16.000 It's like how you would announce divorcing your wife.

00:12:19.000 Like, I can't believe we're here after 20 years, but fuck you.

00:12:24.000 I hate you.

00:12:25.000 Fuck you.

00:12:27.000 I hate you.

00:12:28.000 I like to smile, though.

00:12:30.000 That's awesome.

00:12:32.000 If you could smile and say fuck you, like...

00:12:34.000 Fuck you.

00:12:35.000 I hate you.

00:12:36.000 And it's like refreshing.

00:12:37.000 It's like, yeah, it sounds like an abused woman who's finally had enough. 1.00

00:12:42.000 And his intimidation doesn't do anything to her anymore.

00:12:46.000 So she's just like, fuck you. 1.00

00:12:50.000 I hate you.

00:12:51.000 You have no power over me.

00:12:53.000 All of that shit is vulnerable.

00:12:56.000 The beauty of go fuck yourself is it's like, I'm not even considering what you have to say.

00:13:03.000 Get out of here, go over there, and stick your dick in your ass. 1.00

00:13:08.000 Yeah, that's quite the command.

00:13:10.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:13:12.000 Right.

00:13:12.000 Yeah.

00:13:13.000 Because I'm not going to fuck you.

00:13:15.000 You know, if I say fuck you, it's like now I'm saying fuck you.

00:13:18.000 And a way you know it's real is like I know I would never say it to a friend or my wife or my dad or anyone that I genuinely cared about ever.

00:13:27.000 I can't even imagine saying it.

00:13:29.000 If I said it to you, you'd be fired.

00:13:32.000 That wouldn't be.

00:13:33.000 If I said fuck you, I hate you.

00:13:34.000 I've probably said that 20 times today.

00:13:37.000 That's how you say hello.

00:13:38.000 You know what I mean?

00:13:39.000 Like, go fuck yourself.

00:13:40.000 That's, we're done.

00:13:41.000 Yeah.

00:13:42.000 By the way, for those of you not just listening to the audio, I'm sure you've tuned in and you see our baby monster shirts.

00:13:47.000 I'm not happy.

00:13:50.000 These are not thrilling to me.

00:13:52.000 The thing about a cartoon shirt, especially this obtuse and ugly, is it's got to be loud.

00:14:00.000 This is way too subtle.

00:14:01.000 Now, I talked to the t-shirt guy.

00:14:03.000 He sent me these as a 50-shirt sample because, as Linton Quasi Johnson points out in De Eagle and De Beer, we already can't get t-shirts on time.

00:14:14.000 And the normal silk screening printer shops are all down.

00:14:18.000 Supply is way, the few that are available, they're in way over their heads.

00:14:22.000 So we have iron-ons left.

00:14:24.000 That's all that's left.

00:14:26.000 And I'm like, iron-ons?

00:14:26.000 I remember those from the 80s.

00:14:27.000 They fall apart after one watch.

00:14:29.000 And he goes, no, technology's improved.

00:14:30.000 But the problem is they only are like 11 inches wide.

00:14:34.000 And I was like, not good enough, dude.

00:14:35.000 I want this to be like armpit to armpit, massive face.

00:14:39.000 So I'm describing the new baby monster shirt.

00:14:41.000 So what we'll do is we'll have these as a limited run.

00:14:44.000 50 small prints, we'll call them.

00:14:47.000 Maybe we'll spell it P-R-I-N-C-E for some dumb reason.

00:14:51.000 And then I've now ordered like the big, huge ones.

00:14:55.000 Baby monster.

00:14:57.000 Yeah.

00:14:58.000 And for those of you who are not familiar with why we are so excited about this term, baby monster, I think fans are gay. 0.99

00:15:07.000 And Katy Perry has kitty cats and Lady Gaga has her little monsters.

00:15:14.000 So we want to refer to the viewers and the subscribers on a regular basis.

00:15:18.000 Both those words are lame.

00:15:21.000 Fans are lame.

00:15:22.000 So let's mock.

00:15:23.000 I'm ruining the joke right now.

00:15:25.000 Let's mock all of those other clubs by pretending we're just the same.

00:15:29.000 And then, of course, Baby Monster refers to Maddie O'Dell when he was in prison.

00:15:33.000 Someone stole his, what do they call porno mags?

00:15:36.000 Their binder, their book?

00:15:38.000 Their sex book or something?

00:15:41.000 Porno mags are banned from prison, but if you have one previously, they're grandfathered in. 0.98

00:15:45.000 So they're like laminated with tape and people treat them like the Bible.

00:15:49.000 And someone stole his.

00:15:50.000 So he lost his fucking shit.

00:15:52.000 He tied up his shoes tight.

00:15:53.000 He tucked his pants into his socks, his shirt into his pants.

00:15:56.000 And he made it very clear in the common area that whoever fucking has it is going to get tuned up.

00:16:03.000 No matter what.

00:16:04.000 And if it was given to you, I'm going to tune you up and then you can take it up with the guy who gave it to you.

00:16:09.000 But someone's going to fucking die.

00:16:11.000 And he unplugged the TV and did a bunch of other shit and was screaming at everyone.

00:16:15.000 I've seen him lose his temper a few times.

00:16:16.000 It's not pretty.

00:16:18.000 And he had a friend who was a murderer in there.

00:16:21.000 And later on, the friend, let's pretend he's Daniel Trehouse.

00:16:25.000 Treyhouse, you know that guy?

00:16:26.000 Daniel Trejo.

00:16:27.000 Machete. 0.56

00:16:28.000 Machete. 0.56

00:16:29.000 A machete type guy comes by.

00:16:31.000 And he says, hey, man, has anybody seen my fucking baby monster around?

00:16:38.000 From then on, Maddie's been known as Baby Monster. 1.00

00:16:41.000 He's got a tattoo.

00:16:41.000 So we said, perfect.

00:16:43.000 So Lady Gaga sent up and we'll describe our guys.

00:16:45.000 A lot of pushback with baby monsters.

00:16:48.000 They want to be called pool shitters.

00:16:50.000 We got some pool shitters still in the comments.

00:16:52.000 Absolutely not.

00:16:53.000 Women don't want to be called shitters. 1.00

00:16:54.000 Women don't shit. 1.00

00:16:56.000 So anyway, that's baby monster.

00:16:58.000 And speaking of baby monsters, where is Crip Daddy, our severely handicapped friend in the wheelchair?

00:17:04.000 Where is Sylvia, our 110-year-old sex addict? 0.95

00:17:10.000 Where is Baby Monster, our ex-con biker?

00:17:15.000 My whack pack is sick.

00:17:17.000 Crip Daddy's, I don't know, too ill to do stuff.

00:17:21.000 Actually, he's fine.

00:17:21.000 We never even asked him.

00:17:23.000 Just helps this joke.

00:17:25.000 Maddie is brutally ill.

00:17:28.000 He can't get out of bed.

00:17:30.000 He's got the heart of warrior.

00:17:36.000 No.

00:17:37.000 An ex-mess head.

00:17:40.000 His heart's garbage.

00:17:41.000 It's got a defibrillator stitched into it.

00:17:44.000 It's got a heart monitor.

00:17:45.000 He's got five doctors checking their phones constantly watching his heart movies on the heart transplant list.

00:17:50.000 So he has bad days.

00:17:51.000 Today's a bad day.

00:17:52.000 So my whack pack cannot be here.

00:17:54.000 Sylvia, as you know, fell.

00:17:56.000 Syl fell. 0.99

00:17:58.000 And she cracked her hip. 1.00

00:17:59.000 So she won't be here for a couple of weeks.

00:18:02.000 That's rough.

00:18:03.000 So you're going to get a lot of gav over the next two hours, guys.

00:18:07.000 I found out white people food.

00:18:09.000 Potato salad with raisins in it.

00:18:11.000 Never had it.

00:18:12.000 So there's a big meme.

00:18:14.000 People don't get us whites. 0.85

00:18:19.000 Raisin and potato salad?

00:18:20.000 That must be like a...

00:18:21.000 It must be Germanic and it must be in the deep, deep Midwest. 0.99

00:18:26.000 Because that's never come across my desk.

00:18:29.000 I think it's a little...

00:18:29.000 I think maybe Southern too.

00:18:32.000 Yeah.

00:18:32.000 Touch at the sale from there.

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00:19:03.000 It's not just like they have one little thing.

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00:19:20.000 It's the coffee we drink here at the studio.

00:19:22.000 And I got to say, the Diablo gives you a real kick.

00:19:25.000 Boy, whoa!

00:19:26.000 Does that get you going in the day?

00:19:29.000 Diablo.

00:19:30.000 And as I keep saying, you have to get coffee, right?

00:19:33.000 Everyone needs coffee.

00:19:34.000 It's what we do.

00:19:35.000 It allegedly started the Industrial Revolution, according to Michael Poland, who was about 100 years off.

00:19:42.000 But why not, when you're buying this necessity, which is up there with water and electricity, make sure you get it from vets who support free speech.

00:19:53.000 That's a double whammy.

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00:19:56.000 You're supporting an American-owned business.

00:19:58.000 You're supporting a vet-owned business.

00:19:59.000 And you're supporting free speech.

00:20:02.000 These guys, everyone who supports us gets harassed, just so you know.

00:20:06.000 Everyone who is a sponsor for this gets attacked.

00:20:09.000 They get calls.

00:20:11.000 I mean, that's kind of why I said you should call this woman from the food bank, whatever it's called.

00:20:19.000 Because they're doing it to us.

00:20:21.000 So why don't we call them back?

00:20:22.000 Don't harass her, obviously.

00:20:24.000 Just ask her why she did that. 1.00

00:20:27.000 And these guys put up with lunatics calling them all day, and they say, go fuck yourself.

00:20:32.000 Which is the best thing to say to people like that.

00:20:34.000 So go to beardvet.com, put in the code Gavin, 15% off, all beard grooming and coffee products.

00:20:42.000 Thank you, Beard Vet.

00:20:44.000 Look at this shit.

00:20:45.000 Apparel.

00:20:46.000 Wait, go back.

00:20:47.000 So we've got the coffee, the apparel, cool mugs.

00:20:51.000 What else?

00:20:52.000 Beard oils, beard grooming kits.

00:20:55.000 Remember, I said it's not just one little cream, beard grooming products.

00:21:00.000 Lots of fantastic shit there.

00:21:02.000 They got rubs?

00:21:03.000 The rubs.

00:21:04.000 What are rubs?

00:21:05.000 I think for meat, right?

00:21:06.000 Yeah.

00:21:07.000 Oh, cool.

00:21:07.000 That's new.

00:21:09.000 It must be a caffeinated rub.

00:21:11.000 I've never tried that.

00:21:13.000 Have you ever tried a coffee rub on steak?

00:21:16.000 I don't think I had a coffee rub.

00:21:17.000 That might be a white thing. 0.97

00:21:19.000 I don't see cayenne pepper, brown sugar, range rum, coffee.

00:21:25.000 Okay, so they had put their own coffee in there.

00:21:27.000 Garlic pepper.

00:21:28.000 Yeah, Ryan.

00:21:28.000 I assumed it would be caffeinated when the picture on the front has tons of coffee beans.

00:21:32.000 I thought those are little bugs.

00:21:34.000 Bugs?

00:21:36.000 I thought those are little appetizing bugs.

00:21:38.000 Please be kidding.

00:21:39.000 Please be kidding.

00:21:39.000 I'm totally kidding.

00:21:41.000 Wow.

00:21:41.000 Look at that.

00:21:42.000 They sponsor a car.

00:21:44.000 Oh, wow.

00:21:44.000 Fucking raise and round.

00:21:45.000 All right, let's get back to the show.

00:21:47.000 Yes.

00:21:48.000 So we've covered those two things.

00:21:54.000 I guess we should wrap it up.

00:21:56.000 What we do on this show is we take calls.

00:22:01.000 We go through the letters page.

00:22:03.000 We've got a ton of letters here.

00:22:06.000 And we have a live chat, a super chat where people donate money.

00:22:10.000 I read everything that's $100.

00:22:12.000 And 100% of that money goes to Joe Biggs, various charities over the years.

00:22:17.000 But Joe Biggs is a biggie.

00:22:20.000 He's going to court end of May to defend himself because he committed the most horrendous crime imaginable.

00:22:29.000 He trespassed on the Capitol.

00:22:32.000 And what do we do when we pray?

00:22:34.000 Forgive us our trespasses, and we forgive those who trespass against us.

00:22:37.000 Well, the state does not forgive Joe Biggs for his trespassing.

00:22:42.000 So we're kind of trying to get money for his lawyer, Dan Hall.

00:22:45.000 The guy's already put in $100,000 of his own money to fight this case.

00:22:50.000 So we're just trying to, I don't know, give him some gas money.

00:22:53.000 I think we're up to about $10,000 so far on the give, send, go.

00:22:57.000 Please keep giving her on that.

00:23:00.000 Update on a very similar case, Brendan Vaughan.

00:23:04.000 Brendan Vaughn got in a fight with a Palestinian at a pro-Israeli thing.

00:23:09.000 He's a proud boy back in 2017.

00:23:13.000 Palestinians strangled him.

00:23:16.000 He tuned the guy up very briefly.

00:23:18.000 Bonk, bonk, shove. 0.97

00:23:20.000 Shoved the guy to the ground.

00:23:23.000 He came back to Canada.

00:23:25.000 It was ignored.

00:23:26.000 The police saw the whole thing and went, all right, well, you strangled him, and then he strangled you, then you shoved him.

00:23:31.000 Okay, self-defense.

00:23:32.000 He saw the Jewish Defense League actively kicking the shit out of the guy after he went to the ground.

00:23:36.000 Some of those guys got arrested.

00:23:39.000 But Brendan comes back to Canada.

00:23:41.000 Years go by.

00:23:41.000 Word gets out that he's a proud boy.

00:23:44.000 That's a big deal in Canada now.

00:23:46.000 So they retroactively go back to the fight and make it a hate crime.

00:23:50.000 Bang goes his door. 0.80

00:23:52.000 They pick him up like Hannibal, tie him up, handcuff him, throw him on a plane to D.C. He's been in jail for two months.

00:24:00.000 D.C. is the shittiest jail in America.

00:24:03.000 All murderers, by the way.

00:24:04.000 There's no one in there for jaywalking.

00:24:06.000 D.C. doesn't prosecute.

00:24:08.000 So if you end up in a D.C. jail, you're a bad man.

00:24:12.000 And there's no whites in there, apparently.

00:24:15.000 So he's in there, and he can't get any information.

00:24:20.000 His lawyer can't get any information.

00:24:21.000 I got him a lawyer a long time ago, the first wave of this, when the first wave of this hit.

00:24:26.000 And the media gets every detail.

00:24:31.000 In fact, the lawyers were going to the local Canadian media to find out what's going on with his case because they couldn't get anything.

00:24:38.000 And sometimes it was, just don't come back to America.

00:24:40.000 You'll be free tomorrow.

00:24:42.000 And other times it was, you're looking at 15 years.

00:24:44.000 So after, plus this is COVID, right?

00:24:46.000 So he's not allowed out of his cell.

00:24:47.000 So after two months of solitary confinement, he starts considering suicide.

00:24:51.000 And this just happened last month with a guy.

00:24:56.000 I don't want to get his name wrong.

00:24:58.000 Matt Sherpa?

00:25:00.000 Joe Sherpa?

00:25:01.000 Sounds familiar.

00:25:02.000 His aunt was just on Tucker's show.

00:25:06.000 She didn't cry, which I was crying watching it.

00:25:09.000 What a rock she is.

00:25:11.000 So her pet Perna, I think his name was Matt Perna.

00:25:15.000 And I believe he killed himself on February 25th of this year at his home.

00:25:20.000 He was only looking at six years, but he'd already been through the ringer because of the persecution going on here.

00:25:27.000 He had lost his job, ability to make money.

00:25:30.000 His friends hated him.

00:25:31.000 Oh, you're an insurrectionist.

00:25:32.000 Everyone in his community fell for it outside of his immediate family.

00:25:35.000 So he became an agoraphobe.

00:25:36.000 He stayed at home all day.

00:25:38.000 And looking at going away to jail for six years and having no future, he just hanged himself.

00:25:44.000 This happens a lot, by the way.

00:25:46.000 The narrative committing murder.

00:25:49.000 Like, remember that dude?

00:25:52.000 That's not her. 0.97

00:25:54.000 Matthew Perna.

00:25:56.000 Yep, I got his name right.

00:25:59.000 Remember that dude?

00:26:01.000 He was a vet.

00:26:03.000 He had PTSD, very closely attached to his dog.

00:26:06.000 He was defending his bar.

00:26:08.000 This is like some like Colorado or something.

00:26:11.000 Yes.

00:26:12.000 And they're all vandalizing the place.

00:26:14.000 And he's like, I'm on your side.

00:26:15.000 I'm a lefty.

00:26:15.000 Black Lives Matter.

00:26:16.000 Just please don't fuck with the bar.

00:26:18.000 Some black kid gets in his face. 0.99

00:26:20.000 He's like, please, please stop.

00:26:22.000 I don't want any trouble.

00:26:23.000 Him and his dad are there just defending the bar.

00:26:26.000 They've got their guns.

00:26:28.000 And the black kid beats him up. 0.78

00:26:30.000 And in the kerfuffle, the black kid gets shot dead.

00:26:33.000 So the narrative is he's a racist.

00:26:35.000 He was out hunting blacks during the George Floyd riots.

00:26:40.000 He is damaged from, you know, being a vet.

00:26:45.000 And he's ostracized.

00:26:47.000 He closes down the bar.

00:26:48.000 He moves.

00:26:50.000 The stigma follows him.

00:26:52.000 And he offs himself.

00:26:59.000 Jack Gardner?

00:27:00.000 From Oregon.

00:27:01.000 Gardner.

00:27:02.000 Oregon.

00:27:04.000 Hillsboro, Oregon.

00:27:08.000 I calculate, and I've done presentations on this.

00:27:12.000 For those of you who don't watch the show regularly, Mondays and Tuesdays, we do a lot of deep dives into these kind of things.

00:27:19.000 And I count about 35 deaths from BLM and Antifa during the George Floyd riots.

00:27:27.000 A lot of them black guys killed by various assholes.

00:27:32.000 Five black teens shot at Chazin Shop.

00:27:34.000 There he is, Jack Gardner.

00:27:36.000 How dare he support the president of the United States?

00:27:40.000 Hope he rots in hell.

00:27:41.000 Just kidding, God.

00:27:45.000 We're getting close to the half-hour mark where we boot everyone.

00:27:48.000 Some more white people food. 0.63

00:27:49.000 You know what I want to do?

00:27:52.000 Berries?

00:27:53.000 Black people don't eat berries? 1.00

00:27:55.000 I don't think they like water either.

00:27:56.000 Maybe that's racist to assume, but I'm pretty sure I heard something about they don't like water.

00:28:01.000 Hmm.

00:28:03.000 I want to do a deep dive on Monday about all of these people that had their moment in the sun and laughed at those of us who got married and got our girlfriends pregnant, our wives pregnant.

00:28:16.000 And now it's 10 years later and they're sort of going, what the fuck have I done?

00:28:22.000 Like Pauly Shore, I saw him on Joe Rogan and he goes, it was so awesome.

00:28:29.000 I was a teenager.

00:28:30.000 I was the number one guy in the country.

00:28:32.000 Everyone loved me.

00:28:34.000 And I was partying every day.

00:28:37.000 And then now it's all gone.

00:28:40.000 And then Rogan's like, what do you want to do?

00:28:41.000 You want to go back to that?

00:28:42.000 And he goes, yeah, I love partying.

00:28:44.000 And Joe Rogan goes, well, just party every day then.

00:28:46.000 You have money.

00:28:47.000 It's not that expensive.

00:28:48.000 Beer.

00:28:49.000 These are still a buck each.

00:28:51.000 They haven't gone up since I first tried one in 1984.

00:28:54.000 Not the book, the year.

00:28:58.000 Wow, you laughed at that?

00:29:00.000 Yeah.

00:29:01.000 Because I would assume like you're in the book and you tried one in 1984.

00:29:04.000 I got it.

00:29:06.000 Yikes.

00:29:08.000 And Paulie Shar goes, no, no, now I want to go to a Korean spa and have a juice and watch the news.

00:29:13.000 Oh, so there's a hole in your life.

00:29:17.000 You didn't have a wife and kids, dummy.

00:29:19.000 That's what I was writing in my hit book, Death of Kool.

00:29:23.000 It's awesome to party.

00:29:24.000 I got you.

00:29:25.000 But that's a chapter.

00:29:27.000 You got to turn the page.

00:29:28.000 Or another one I want to get into.

00:29:30.000 I'm kind of spilling the beans now, ruining the whole green screen.

00:29:33.000 But Elizabeth Plank, Liz Plank, possibly the sexiest woman in the world, also a brainwashed, woke feminist who had a real sort of anti-male thing, you know, 10 years ago. 1.00

00:29:46.000 And now she's trying to channel her feminism through a love of men. 1.00

00:29:50.000 Look at her.

00:29:51.000 That's a 10.

00:29:52.000 I know you get mad when I throw the word number 10 around.

00:29:55.000 She's a 10.

00:29:56.000 But these are all old pictures.

00:29:58.000 She's not a 10 anymore.

00:30:02.000 And now you can tell that she's getting forgotten, especially in New York.

00:30:06.000 She's living in New York now.

00:30:07.000 She's from Montreal.

00:30:09.000 But it's an elephant's graveyard for ovaries here, ladies. 1.00

00:30:12.000 Do not come here.

00:30:13.000 If you're a pretty girl like Liz was, you got a fucking few years to grab your rich guy. 1.00

00:30:21.000 And then he's going to start fucking someone five years younger than you because men in New York have too many opportunities and men are only as loyal as their opportunities.

00:30:29.000 Sorry.

00:30:30.000 I don't like that about us, but it's the way most of us are.

00:30:33.000 And she's got her laugh lines now.

00:30:36.000 And she's got things like, you know, she has instructional things on like, when he's just not that into you.

00:30:45.000 There she is.

00:30:45.000 Look at that one, Nita Pandemic.

00:30:48.000 You see what just happened there?

00:30:50.000 That's a woman that just lost her looks. 1.00

00:30:55.000 Now, if she had two kids and a husband, she'd be the hottest mom wife on the block. 1.00

00:31:02.000 But I think she's subconsciously realizing now that there's ramifications for all of this ignoring the herd.

00:31:14.000 And yeah, she was doing a thing on. 1.00

00:31:15.000 So many people ask me, Liz.

00:31:19.000 Isn't this being kind of like...

00:31:20.000 No, that's an ad for Sonos that she did.

00:31:23.000 But she's got one of these videos where she's like, hey, what you got to say to him if he's not calling you back is that you're not active enough for me.

00:31:31.000 I like a little more stuff.

00:31:32.000 And then you indicate that you're going to break up with him and stuff like that.

00:31:35.000 And I'm just like, yeah, I've been that guy.

00:31:38.000 And when there's pussy everywhere, you're just like, all right, I guess I'll just cross you off my to-do list. 1.00

00:31:43.000 I've got another 10 here.

00:31:46.000 And another chick that I'm obsessed with is publicity.

00:31:51.000 P-U-B-L-Y-S-I-T-T-Y. 1.00

00:31:53.000 I guess I'm not doing this anymore.

00:31:54.000 I just ruined the whole thing.

00:31:56.000 But she is put on too much weight, but you can see through the weight that she's a 10. 1.00

00:32:02.000 And she's really cool and fun. 0.53

00:32:04.000 And she's got this great podcast on Barstool Sports called Spilling Tea or something like that.

00:32:10.000 That's her there.

00:32:11.000 You can see the 10 behind the jowls.

00:32:13.000 Not the jowls, but the chubbiness.

00:32:15.000 Wait, stop.

00:32:15.000 Don't show this yet.

00:32:17.000 If you look her up when she's younger, though, before she got fat, she's shockingly beautiful.

00:32:22.000 Anyway, you look at her and she's like, hi, everyone.

00:32:25.000 This is what I do on Sundays.

00:32:26.000 I go out and I get tea and then I have a sandwich and then I talk about boys And you're just like, you would be such a great mom.

00:32:34.000 You're so organized.

00:32:36.000 You should be making shit with construction paper for them.

00:32:39.000 You should be organizing their little baby books.

00:32:42.000 Instead, you're organizing books on like various shoes.

00:32:48.000 And you see that, I don't want to call her a shit chest, but you see all of these, not just women too. 1.00

00:32:54.000 Paulie Shore's a dude, but all these people who are like, I'm partying, dude, fuck you.

00:32:58.000 Remember, we used to do that.

00:32:59.000 We used to get wasted doing bumps and shit.

00:33:02.000 And on Sunday night, we'd be like, hey, this is to Monday morning.

00:33:05.000 Fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:33:07.000 And we were saying, fuck you to Mondays, to the next morning.

00:33:10.000 We used to make jokes about the next morning and how it can go suck my dick or something like that.

00:33:15.000 And that's the way you say in your 20s about the future.

00:33:20.000 But you have to, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

00:33:22.000 It's almost like being a punk and going, fucking live fast, die young, dude, and then dying.

00:33:27.000 You're like, no, you're not supposed to literally die.

00:33:31.000 Like, it's a thing.

00:33:32.000 It's just a party saying.

00:33:34.000 And I see how these people get older and they're like, I don't know what it is, but there's something not right with my life.

00:33:40.000 And I'm like, yeah, you didn't have kids.

00:33:44.000 You didn't put a ring on it.

00:33:46.000 I never thought about it like this before, but women that don't have kids are like permanent, like little girls or something. 1.00

00:33:53.000 Like when men are nerds in their 40s and 50s, like I love Star Wars.

00:33:57.000 So the new Star Wars came out.

00:33:58.000 That's like what it is, but for a female. 1.00

00:34:01.000 Yeah.

00:34:01.000 And what do they talk about?

00:34:02.000 Relationships constantly.

00:34:03.000 Like, okay, look at these two girls realize what we've been screaming for years, which is don't give the milk away for free if you want anyone to ever buy the cow. 1.00

00:34:13.000 And Bill Schultz, we're not speaking because he said, oh, I know what you're doing, Gavin.

00:34:17.000 You hate that you can't go out and fuck chicks anymore because you're married.

00:34:21.000 So you want all of us to have shitty lives.

00:34:23.000 And I'm like, first of all, fuck you for desecrating my marriage.

00:34:26.000 Not even fuck you.

00:34:27.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:34:28.000 I guess it was a go fuck yourself.

00:34:30.000 Yeah.

00:34:30.000 But secondly, no, dude, I'm trying to help.

00:34:34.000 This shit that we're about to show you, I've seen this a billion times.

00:34:38.000 Do you think I go up to 23-year-olds and I go, you guys should stop partying, man?

00:34:43.000 Hey, enough with the wet t-shirt contest.

00:34:45.000 I have a blow dryer.

00:34:46.000 I'm drawing them off.

00:34:47.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:34:49.000 Look, here's a dry chemise. 0.97

00:34:51.000 Sit down.

00:34:51.000 You guys are getting way too crazy.

00:34:54.000 No, I don't talk about early 20s people.

00:34:57.000 I talk about late 20s, early 30s and say, guys, guys, guys, whoa.

00:35:02.000 Trust me, you're going to regret it if you don't fucking dial it in.

00:35:05.000 Ladies, in New York City, over 32, you are a colostomy bag for the entire city's come. 1.00

00:35:15.000 You're not going to like that after a while when you sober up and look around.

00:35:20.000 It's like Jello Biafra says in the Dead Kennedy song Riot.

00:35:24.000 Tomorrow you're homeless.

00:35:25.000 Tonight it's a blast.

00:35:27.000 All right.

00:35:28.000 Finally, we're ready for this milk cow thing.

00:35:34.000 Who brings in the most money for you?

00:35:35.000 Because you're on YouTube.

00:35:38.000 Okay, you've got a little bit of a bunch of people.

00:35:39.000 I agree.

00:35:40.000 I also just think you're only really hurting yourself.

00:35:43.000 And I do think with friends with benefits, I do think there's a chance where if you were to cut them off, they would maybe come around if they're just dragging their feet and it's just easy for them.

00:35:53.000 But I also think there's a chance they just know you're not their person that they're going to end up with and they might never come around.

00:35:58.000 But either way, what's the benefit for you?

00:36:01.000 What I always say, and I urge you all to ask yourself this, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?

00:36:07.000 Anytime you're in a situation.

00:36:08.000 Keep watching.

00:36:09.000 You missed the beginning.

00:36:11.000 Oh, great.

00:36:12.000 Now we got to loop it all around again.

00:36:16.000 Anytime you're in a situationship and it's not becoming serious within two to three months, get out of there.

00:36:22.000 I agree.

00:36:23.000 I also just want to say that.

00:36:24.000 So isn't that amazing?

00:36:26.000 This is like when fucking Rogan and all those comedians go, we came up with a thing.

00:36:31.000 It's called Sober October.

00:36:32.000 And for about 40 days, we don't drink.

00:36:36.000 Yeah, it's called Lance.

00:36:38.000 This has been thought of before.

00:36:40.000 Hey, we came up with no fap.

00:36:42.000 It's this cool thing where you don't beat off.

00:36:44.000 No wanks. 0.97

00:36:44.000 I'm guilty of it too. 0.97

00:36:46.000 Yeah, that's all been covered by Christianity. 0.87

00:36:49.000 And this whole, if he's not into you after two months, he's not into you after 20 months.

00:36:54.000 This has all been covered.

00:36:56.000 Talk to an old person. 1.00

00:36:57.000 Any old lady could have told you that.

00:36:59.000 But these young girls are sort of discovering all of these traditional things from scratch, like it's a new thing they discovered from trial and error.

00:37:07.000 And I guess to them it is.

00:37:10.000 Anyway, we're going to go behind the paywall now, start taking some calls.

00:37:15.000 Before we do, however, I'd like to thank our longest sponsor.

00:37:19.000 I feel bad saying Beard Vet was our favorite sponsor because I feel like I'm cheating on my wife, Nita Fashions.

00:37:25.000 But Nita Fashions is where we get all our custom suits, custom shirts.

00:37:31.000 You call them up, contact them.

00:37:34.000 You guys seem to like, you baby monsters seem to like contacting them via their DM on Instagram, where ironically you cannot type out censored.tv.

00:37:44.000 Set up a meeting with them.

00:37:45.000 They can measure you up.

00:37:46.000 They'll probably come to your town soon enough.

00:37:48.000 And when I say your town, I mean Glasgow, Sydney, Toronto, Hong Kong, New York, Chicago, like everywhere.

00:37:56.000 But if you can't wait that long, set up a meeting with these guys online.

00:38:00.000 They'll show your girlfriend how to measure you up using a tape measure. 1.00

00:38:04.000 And then once they have your measurements, it's just calling in, getting any suit you want.

00:38:10.000 There's the G-Dog.

00:38:12.000 And it fits you so fucking well.

00:38:14.000 It's so comfortable.

00:38:15.000 I honestly, I LARP as a blue-collar guy when I'm not wearing suits.

00:38:20.000 And my red wings and my fucking wax welding pants and my Carhartt jackets are so much more uncomfortable than my suits.

00:38:29.000 My suits are PJs.

00:38:31.000 And I often do sleep in them.

00:38:34.000 And the great thing about them too is their range.

00:38:38.000 Like you could get a custom suit for probably $600, $700.

00:38:42.000 You can get a dress shirt for $50.

00:38:45.000 Or you can get like a super thick, incredible quality dress shirt for more like $120.

00:38:51.000 And it's, you know, it doesn't even wrinkle.

00:38:53.000 It's so thick.

00:38:55.000 Same with the suit.

00:38:56.000 Get a wool suit, a corduroy suit, a plaid suit, a black Funeral suit.

00:39:01.000 Every man should have one suit at least. 0.86

00:39:02.000 I don't care if you're a fucking if you work in the sewers. 0.95

00:39:06.000 You should have one suit for funerals and weddings that fits you perfect, makes you professional.

00:39:10.000 And guys, you look like such an asshole when your top button is not done up.

00:39:16.000 I just saw that in a movie recently.

00:39:18.000 Oh, jackass.

00:39:20.000 Johnny Knoxville was wearing a suit when he's playing some suit guy, and his top button wasn't undone.

00:39:24.000 I'm like, dude, that's not the character.

00:39:26.000 Like, it just, it looks so amateur.

00:39:29.000 It looks like you borrowed a shirt.

00:39:30.000 That's not a good look.

00:39:32.000 Get your tux there.

00:39:34.000 My marathon tux I wore was Nina Fashions.

00:39:36.000 Every time you see me wearing a suit, look at him.

00:39:39.000 Get your fucking top button done up. 0.95

00:39:41.000 I thought you were just being picky, but that looks like shit.

00:39:44.000 It looks like a kid at his first job interview.

00:39:48.000 By the way, you know what I found in my junk drawer?

00:39:50.000 Did I tell you this already?

00:39:51.000 No.

00:39:52.000 Johnny Knoxville's Adderall prescription bottle.

00:39:55.000 Oh, I remember you had that.

00:39:56.000 It says PJ Clap on it.

00:39:58.000 That's probably worth money, right?

00:40:00.000 Yeah.

00:40:01.000 Especially if he ODs.

00:40:03.000 But I'm going to put it in a little plexiglass case.

00:40:05.000 I don't want it at my house because I don't want my kids saying like, daddy's friends do pills.

00:40:10.000 I'm still pals with Knoxville, but you can get what I mean.

00:40:12.000 That's why I never had any Sid Vicious or Dash Snow pictures in the house.

00:40:16.000 I don't want to glorify dead junkies.

00:40:20.000 Anyway, that's a tangent.

00:40:22.000 So NitaFashions.com on Instagram, what's their Instagram account?

00:40:27.000 Nita.fashions.

00:40:28.000 Nita.fashions.

00:40:29.000 If you get a chance to see them in person, too, you could look through those swatches for touching them, looking at them, talking for hours about yourself and things that you like.

00:40:38.000 It's a real merry Antoinette indulgence that men rarely experience.

00:40:42.000 It's a pampering.

00:40:43.000 Yeah, it's really like the male equipment of going to a spa and you go through all these different swatches and everything.

00:40:50.000 They can mail you swatches too.

00:40:52.000 They'll FedEx them for free if you want to go through that kind of stuff.

00:40:55.000 There's something about wearing a suit too.

00:40:56.000 It's like when you have a nice suit or a nice piece of clothing, like the pants that I got from them, awesome material and they look great.

00:41:06.000 You know that they're there.

00:41:07.000 So even if you don't wear them that day, you're like, I'm going to wear them for something.

00:41:11.000 And now you have this day in the future that you're looking forward to wearing those pants.

00:41:14.000 You know what I was thinking about today, too?

00:41:17.000 In London, England, because in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, all the gangsters wore suits, if you're wearing a suit and you don't look like a Ponce and there's a bit of skin art or something and you look like you might be a hard man, people are like, oh, fuck, that's a murderer.

00:41:32.000 Like, it's scary to wear a suit in England.

00:41:37.000 And that's the book I'm reading right now.

00:41:39.000 I Am Not a Gangster by Bobby Collins.

00:41:42.000 Great book, not well written, which is my comfort food.

00:41:46.000 I love badly written books by cops and criminals because the more typos, the more authentic.

00:41:54.000 You know, it might be a great date if you have a chick that you're talking to and you haven't quite gotten to.

00:41:59.000 Have her come over and then measure you. 1.00

00:42:01.000 Be like, I just listen, if you're a single guy, like, can you come over and just help measure me?

00:42:06.000 I got to do this thing.

00:42:06.000 And now you're doing something together.

00:42:08.000 You get a little wine and you're rich.

00:42:09.000 You put on music.

00:42:10.000 Yeah, you're like, $2,000.

00:42:14.000 Yeah.

00:42:15.000 Or at least a weird apartment.

00:42:17.000 Or you just lie and say you got a good job.

00:42:18.000 You're like, it's coming in soon, so I just figured I'd get the nice suit.

00:42:21.000 Or I'm crashing here while my apartment gets renovated.

00:42:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:42:24.000 This is my friend's stupid.

00:42:25.000 Getting gutted.

00:42:26.000 I don't know why he has pictures of me all over the place, but it's my buddies.

00:42:29.000 He's kind of obsessed with me.

00:42:32.000 Okay, let's get behind the paywall now and talk to the baby monsters. 1.00

00:42:39.000 And to all your freeloaders who just watched or heard all this for free, I'd like to tell you to go to censored.tv, sign up.

00:42:46.000 You can sign up just for a month, three months.

00:42:48.000 You can have someone gift you a month.

00:42:52.000 Maybe ladies blow a guy and say, you now owe me $100. 1.00

00:42:57.000 Get me a prescription to censored.tv medication.

00:43:02.000 Or I'm going to say you raped me. 1.00

00:43:04.000 Works every time.

00:43:05.000 Throwing out ideas there.

00:43:07.000 I don't know.

00:43:07.000 I don't know how you live your life.

00:43:10.000 Anyway, I guess I'll see you freeloaders next week.

00:43:13.000 For all you people who pay, we'll see you.

00:43:18.000 Oh, we'll have new shit on Friday.

00:43:21.000 We'll see you Monday.

00:43:22.000 But I got my jag.

00:43:24.000 So we're going to go to DC and pick up my new car, and we're going to film an episode of Car Guys.

00:43:28.000 So that's coming next week.

00:43:30.000 Isn't that exciting?

00:43:31.000 Anyway, get fired.

00:43:33.000 Get in trouble.

00:43:33.000 Be brave.

00:43:35.000 On't never stop in Z fighting. 0.98

00:43:51.000 And you can see it all around.

00:43:53.000 The massacres abound.

00:43:55.000 The buddies all around.

00:43:56.000 The atrocities abound.

00:43:58.000 Missing persons can't be found.

00:44:00.000 The theaters.

00:44:02.000 He must mean the whole world when he's talking about the famine and the fear.

00:44:06.000 He can't mean all that horrible famine in England.

00:44:11.000 Although England is a bitch. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Seem?

00:44:16.000 There's no escape in it.

00:44:18.000 Should we start the show?

00:44:20.000 England is a bitch, Vitru. 0.98

00:44:23.000 Why don't we do a little start the show?

00:44:26.000 Okay, start the flood of fucking show, oops.

00:44:40.000 No button.

00:44:41.000 Yeah, no Biden would pay for that.

00:44:44.000 Let's also...

00:44:46.000 So let's set up the calls.

00:44:47.000 I turned my mic on.

00:44:48.000 Uh-oh.

00:44:49.000 I think my mic might be dead, bro.

00:44:51.000 Okay, I could switch out some mics.

00:44:53.000 Because we don't have Maddie or Sylvia here.

00:44:56.000 It is true.

00:44:56.000 People seem confused about her name.

00:44:59.000 Syl is an abbreviation for Sylvia.

00:45:02.000 If it's easier, we can call her Sylvia.

00:45:06.000 Yeah, this motherfucker's dead.

00:45:08.000 You know what I've been thinking about?

00:45:10.000 I'm probably going to be called to the courtroom for Joe Biggs' trial.

00:45:15.000 And I know what they're going to do.

00:45:17.000 They're going to find me saying the N-word and say, do you think that's funny?

00:45:21.000 And I'm going to say, yeah.

00:45:25.000 And they're going to go, I'm going to say, the problem with you're doing is you're going through 700 hours Or more.

00:45:31.000 Shit, it was 700 hours five years ago.

00:45:33.000 You're going through thousands of hours of content and you're cherry-picking things that you find offensive.

00:45:39.000 You could do the same and prove that I'm gay.

00:45:41.000 You could do the same to prove that I'm a homophobe.

00:45:43.000 That's the way it works when you have that much content.

00:45:47.000 Oh, but have you used the N-word?

00:45:49.000 Have you discussed the Holocaust?

00:45:50.000 Are you denying that you've mentioned rape and giggled about it?

00:45:55.000 And I'll go, no, I'm not denying that.

00:45:57.000 There's times, there's contexts where those three things can be funny.

00:46:01.000 Oh, really?

00:46:03.000 He thinks he's got me, right?

00:46:04.000 Right.

00:46:06.000 Can you give me an example, Mr. McInnis, of the N-word being funny? 1.00

00:46:14.000 Okay.

00:46:17.000 In boxing, most people go like this, right?

00:46:20.000 But Mike Tyson, he came up with the peekaboo technique, where you put your gloves in front of you so you can see better.

00:46:27.000 And it doesn't block the sides of your head as well, but it enables you to see better than this.

00:46:34.000 And it would be funny if I was talking to a bunch of dudes that were all real boxers and they were being really serious about boxing.

00:46:40.000 And I said, oh, not me.

00:46:41.000 I'm more of a peekaboo nigga. 0.86

00:46:44.000 And I guarantee you people would laugh, especially in the context of black dudes there that were all like professionals and I was just being an idiot. 1.00

00:46:52.000 I don't find that funny.

00:46:53.000 I don't think the jury does.

00:46:55.000 Well, maybe it's my delivery, but trust me, that's a funny concept.

00:46:58.000 Okay, well, why don't you enlighten us, Mr. McKinnis?

00:47:01.000 Why don't you tell us how the Holocaust is funny? 1.00

00:47:04.000 Let's hear one of your best Holocaust jokes. 1.00

00:47:08.000 Okay, well, I can tell you my dad's favorite.

00:47:10.000 What's the difference between that weird sort of bit of fat that women have on their lower, the lower part of their arms and the Holocaust? 1.00

00:47:20.000 Well, you can make jokes about the Holocaust. 0.89

00:47:24.000 And then he'd say, I don't get it.

00:47:26.000 Does anyone get it?

00:47:28.000 All the women are just crossing their arms. 0.99

00:47:30.000 And then lastly, he'd say, okay, well, one last example, Gabby.

00:47:33.000 And we gave you three.

00:47:34.000 Why don't you tell us how rape is funny? 1.00

00:47:37.000 Can you give an example of a funny rape joke? 0.90

00:47:40.000 Well, I'm not really a joke guy, but I can tell you about a funny thing where I would use the word rape. 1.00

00:47:45.000 For example, during Lent, I quit hard liquor.

00:47:49.000 And I say, you know, someone will say, you want to do a shot?

00:47:51.000 And I go, I can't till Easter, but I'll cheers you with a beer.

00:47:57.000 And then they'll have a Jameison there, and they'll go, well, we bought it for you anyway.

00:48:01.000 It's just going to get thrown out.

00:48:02.000 And I'll go, okay, well, you know, now you're raping me. 0.98

00:48:06.000 And I would do the shot.

00:48:07.000 Right.

00:48:09.000 That kind of goes to, it's kind of on the topic of, I thought about this.

00:48:13.000 I was like, would I be okay with a canceling at all?

00:48:16.000 Like, what's your line for canceling somebody?

00:48:20.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:48:21.000 I don't think saying the N-word...

00:48:22.000 Like, Kramer.

00:48:23.000 Would I cancel someone for saying the N-word?

00:48:25.000 Like, if Anthony said it, I'd be like...

00:48:27.000 Bad news.

00:48:28.000 I heard you say the N-word.

00:48:30.000 Compound censored is done.

00:48:32.000 And by the way, go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:48:34.000 I make $5 commission every time I say it.

00:48:37.000 It's like an anti-swear jar.

00:48:39.000 I don't even get what the fuck you're talking about.

00:48:40.000 Like, I feel bad that would I X someone over? 0.89

00:48:44.000 Yeah.

00:48:44.000 Or, no, if somebody like a celebrity like Kramer, he was X for saying the N-word on stage.

00:48:50.000 Yeah, but I'd be.

00:48:50.000 Are you asking me personally?

00:48:51.000 Because I think that was stupid.

00:48:53.000 He said a bad word.

00:48:55.000 Okay, next.

00:48:56.000 True.

00:48:56.000 I don't think he should be canceled for that.

00:48:57.000 Are you asking me if there's a situation where I think, well, that's good.

00:49:01.000 That person should have been canceled.

00:49:02.000 Yeah, like, what's your line?

00:49:04.000 You had.

00:49:04.000 Anophilia, obviously.

00:49:06.000 Okay, but when it comes to race or it comes to...

00:49:09.000 No line.

00:49:10.000 I have a line, and I figured it out.

00:49:13.000 It's if somebody says, I'm not trying to be funny, I hate these types of people.

00:49:19.000 And then they have a video of themselves hurting physically somebody of that type.

00:49:24.000 And they're like, that's because they're this, not because of anything else.

00:49:27.000 And then I'd be like, that's a bad guy, and he shouldn't work in Hollywood.

00:49:32.000 Okay.

00:49:33.000 So according to an act of violence, someone saying, I hate chinks, making it very vocal.

00:49:40.000 That's fine.

00:49:40.000 Talking about chinks all the time.

00:49:42.000 Then there's a video of them beating up Asian people like they do here in New York and then getting caught and saying, yeah, I had to clean up the streets.

00:49:49.000 There was chinks everywhere. 1.00

00:49:51.000 Yes.

00:49:51.000 Yeah.

00:49:52.000 Or verbally harassing people.

00:49:53.000 I don't think that'll be coming up anytime soon.

00:49:55.000 I think you'll be safe.

00:49:56.000 I don't think you'll be applying those particular parameters to any living being anytime sooner.

00:50:03.000 Especially in Hollywood, you fucking stupid chink. 1.00

00:50:08.000 Well, that's true.

00:50:10.000 But I'm saying that we should all be enjoying the fact that there's no actual racism like that.

00:50:17.000 I don't see that sort of aggression.

00:50:18.000 Well, yeah, we live in the least racist fucking country in the world.

00:50:24.000 It's pretty chill.

00:50:25.000 I'm going to do a green screen on Jon Stewart's journey to wokeness.

00:50:31.000 And we'll air that when we're in D.C., get in the car.

00:50:33.000 But there's not just one video, there's a whole bunch.

00:50:36.000 And he did a panel with this fat chick. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Uh-oh.

00:50:46.000 So we're recording all this, but my computer restarted.

00:50:49.000 That I noticed.

00:50:50.000 But the...

00:50:53.000 I'm going to have to stop the stream for a second.

00:50:56.000 So the internet went out here at the office.

00:50:58.000 Oh, that's probably because of the Hi-Hawk. 1.00

00:51:02.000 I'm going to stream again, and I'm going to test.

00:51:06.000 Okay.

00:51:06.000 So all of this is being recorded for posterity.

00:51:12.000 Okay.

00:51:13.000 Okay.

00:51:14.000 Let me go to sensor.tv and get off my lawn live.

00:51:23.000 That was very peculiar because...

00:51:25.000 Well, that's why there's that beeping behind us.

00:51:30.000 Where's Get Off My Lawn Live?

00:51:34.000 There we go.

00:51:37.000 Are we in?

00:51:37.000 There's nothing up.

00:51:38.000 Oh, shit.

00:51:40.000 But I don't even see an option for Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:51:44.000 You go to Get Off My Lawn Live on the shows, it just takes you to last week.

00:51:50.000 Oh, there's that live tab.

00:51:52.000 Oh, there it is.

00:51:53.000 Sorry.

00:51:54.000 No live streams available.

00:51:55.000 We're not live right now.

00:51:56.000 Interesting.

00:51:57.000 Might have to restart the TriCaster.

00:52:01.000 Well, does that mean it'll stop recording?

00:52:04.000 Yeah, of course it does.

00:52:07.000 Okay, so let's try now.

00:52:10.000 Without restarting, I just clicked off and then clicked back on.

00:52:13.000 Okay, I just quit the app.

00:52:15.000 This is not making for very exciting smell-ovision.

00:52:18.000 We could put it out.

00:52:19.000 Click the live tab.

00:52:21.000 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:52:23.000 Okay, coming back.

00:52:24.000 We're back.

00:52:25.000 Now, we're going to do...

00:52:27.000 We're back.

00:52:31.000 Explaining this, if you're right.

00:52:33.000 Okay.

00:52:37.000 Hi.

00:52:38.000 We went down recently, the internet cut off, because we were swatted not by police, but by the National Ethics Committee.

00:52:48.000 They just kicked down the door and said, you're making everything too racial.

00:52:52.000 I had used a racial epithet involving Asians.

00:52:54.000 I meant it sarcastically, but I was annoyed that Ryan rolls up the sleeves on his extra-large t-shirts.

00:53:02.000 So they shut our internet down.

00:53:04.000 We said, we'll never use any bad language again.

00:53:07.000 And we also said, fuck fossil fuels and go Biden.

00:53:12.000 And they said, okay, if you renounce everything you've ever said and you support the Democrat Party, we'll turn your internet back on.

00:53:21.000 And we did.

00:53:22.000 So this is now, we're going the way of the lefty.

00:53:26.000 So there's going to be a lot of boring circular arguments about how racist everything is, but it's that or nothing.

00:53:32.000 I pray for Ukraine.

00:53:33.000 I pray for Ukraine.

00:53:35.000 I support you.

00:53:42.000 It's weird that the internet went out and the none of the power went out.

00:53:45.000 Yeah, it is.

00:53:46.000 It's very strange.

00:53:49.000 I think it was a glitch.

00:53:51.000 A glitch in the system.

00:53:52.000 So anyway, to get back to what I was saying, there's a bunch of videos floating around of Jon Stewart trying to become John Wokeman.

00:53:59.000 And one of them is Andrew Sullivan, some fat cunt who keeps talking about white supremacy in the system. 0.87

00:54:07.000 There you go.

00:54:08.000 And then some other guy named Chip who's also like, we need, us white people, need to fix the problem and not ask black people to blah, blah, blah. 0.97

00:54:16.000 I hate that shit.

00:54:17.000 It's so boring.

00:54:18.000 But it's just weird how they all talk to Andrew Sullivan like he's an idiot.

00:54:22.000 I think he's a gay centerist.

00:54:25.000 And all he's saying is, you know, I'm an immigrant.

00:54:27.000 I came here from Britain.

00:54:28.000 I think he shat on me many years ago and said, I believe it's about vice.

00:54:34.000 And he was calling me racist back in the 90s or maybe the early aughts.

00:54:38.000 And he said, oh, those crosses burning on our lawn.

00:54:41.000 We were just being ironic.

00:54:44.000 So he's been one of them for a long time.

00:54:46.000 But anyway, he was just saying, I don't really find it that racist here.

00:54:49.000 I mean, maybe it was, but as far as today goes, stop complaining.

00:54:55.000 And that was like, that's the new David Duke.

00:55:00.000 If buying and owning a suit, one suit only, what color?

00:55:03.000 I like black.

00:55:04.000 I got a lot of shit for saying black, though.

00:55:06.000 People go, what?

00:55:07.000 For funerals?

00:55:08.000 It's a good look.

00:55:08.000 It's like reservoir dogs.

00:55:11.000 But if you're not ready to handle that kind of a commitment with a black suit and a black tie, which I think looks great, it's much safer to go with dark gray.

00:55:20.000 But I think that's a pussy move. 1.00

00:55:22.000 Ryan, put the camera on yourself while you set stuff up, explain the calls.

00:55:28.000 Actually, why don't you also start the interstitial for mailbag?

00:55:31.000 I'm going to turn off that annoying alarm.

00:55:33.000 Got it.

00:55:34.000 Mailbag time.

00:55:37.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.

00:55:42.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

00:55:44.000 It's mailbag.

00:55:48.000 Let me touch it.

00:55:50.000 And we're back.

00:55:52.000 Okay, so if you guys don't know about the super chats, if you're new here, you go to the live show on a browser, and then under it is a little donate to read a live message on there.

00:56:07.000 So there's that.

00:56:08.000 You can go ahead and you could do that.

00:56:10.000 You could also call in at the number below.

00:56:12.000 For those of you just listening, it's 718-400-6959.

00:56:17.000 Again, that's 718-400-6959.

00:56:22.000 Okay, first letter.

00:56:26.000 This bitch is a nine in my book, and if you disagree, you're a fag and a racist. 1.00

00:56:32.000 But I'm curious, what would you give her?

00:56:35.000 This is a pretty interesting challenge because it brings up all kinds of problems.

00:56:41.000 Like, obviously, I'd love the idea of those giant tits in my face, like now. 1.00

00:56:48.000 But when you're judging a girl, aren't you also thinking about a potential mate?

00:56:54.000 What's with my eyes just peering out over this little Chiron? 1.00

00:57:00.000 And if you are judging for a potential mate, those things are a real pain in the ass to lug around.

00:57:08.000 You know what I mean?

00:57:10.000 Like, you're kind of marrying a freak.

00:57:13.000 So in that sense, that would lower her score like crazy.

00:57:18.000 Like, think of you and her and your kid going to Disneyland with those big stupid tits flopping around. 1.00

00:57:26.000 Obviously, you want them for sex, but...

00:57:30.000 And then her face, obviously, is exquisite.

00:57:32.000 I don't know.

00:57:32.000 Let's watch her move around a little bit.

00:57:34.000 This isn't a video, unfortunately.

00:57:36.000 Let's see.

00:57:36.000 Did he link?

00:57:37.000 He linked the video, you absolute retard. 1.00

00:57:39.000 Okay.

00:57:42.000 Like, what I'm noticing when I have my computer is things are up and ready to go within seconds.

00:57:52.000 Okay, we don't need to see this.

00:57:53.000 It's approaching.

00:57:54.000 It's like my hot girl summer.

00:57:56.000 This is the time for some relationships in.

00:57:59.000 People want to be out for the summer.

00:58:01.000 People getting their vaccinations.

00:58:03.000 And they feeling good.

00:58:04.000 Like it's time to get out.

00:58:06.000 So now that the pandemic is kind of tapering off, people going back outside, getting away from the people that is.

00:58:14.000 She has dead batteries in her smoke alarm, which is a trait of a lot of certain types of people. 1.00

00:58:19.000 Stuck with in the house, dormitory.

00:58:21.000 Is it beeping?

00:58:22.000 Yeah, it went.

00:58:25.000 I think there's going to be a surge of outings and parties and brunches and all that.

00:58:33.000 Brunches. 1.00

00:58:35.000 Oh, Marvell.

00:58:36.000 Doesn't that sound exciting?

00:58:36.000 A brunch.

00:58:38.000 Yeah.

00:58:38.000 I had the dumbest fight at the bar today.

00:58:40.000 This guy's like, he goes, Tony Soprano wasn't killed.

00:58:46.000 And I go, yeah, he was killed.

00:58:48.000 I go, he goes, oh, David Chase said what it was.

00:58:52.000 And I go, yeah.

00:58:53.000 But we always knew he was killed.

00:58:54.000 The show was from Tony's perspective, and it went to black because he had his head blown off.

00:58:58.000 And we know it wasn't AJ and Meadow because we saw them in a car commercial last week.

00:59:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:59:03.000 And he goes, okay, blah, blah, blah.

00:59:05.000 Yeah, I'm reading here.

00:59:07.000 And they were at a dinner.

00:59:09.000 And then they, oh, sorry, they were at a diner.

00:59:13.000 They weren't at dinner.

00:59:14.000 And I go, oh, there was both.

00:59:16.000 And he goes, no, no, it was a diner.

00:59:19.000 And I go, I know it was at a diner, but you can't have dinner at a diner.

00:59:22.000 And he goes, no, you have like a brunch.

00:59:24.000 Like, it's like 11 to 1.

00:59:26.000 What?

00:59:26.000 I go, that's not true.

00:59:28.000 That's probably when most of us go to a diner, but plenty of people have dinner at a diner.

00:59:34.000 And it was dark out.

00:59:35.000 And it was dark out.

00:59:36.000 And he goes, no, it wasn't.

00:59:37.000 Yes, it was.

00:59:38.000 And I go, now you're just saying that because you want to win this dumb dinner-diner argument.

00:59:42.000 And he goes, look, I pronounced it dinner.

00:59:44.000 I didn't see there was one N. I corrected myself and said diner.

00:59:48.000 And I'm like, well, now you're going back to the beginning and pretend this discussion never happened.

00:59:52.000 But I was there and it was about 40 seconds ago.

00:59:55.000 Yeah, David Chase does not need to talk about this for me to understand what just happened.

00:59:59.000 This is not a mystery.

01:00:00.000 And then he read the whole article to himself and he fucking goes, yeah, I think he did kill.

01:00:05.000 He was dead.

01:00:07.000 The guy's a cokehead and he's so fucking loud. 1.00

01:00:12.000 That kind of reminds me of I actually watched one of the new Change My Minds with Crowder.

01:00:17.000 And there's this one guy, he's a Rolling Stone journalist, and he's talking about the amount of people that are transgender or something.

01:00:23.000 Oh, that's a famous piece going on.

01:00:25.000 He looks pretty good.

01:00:26.000 He's got like a cool hat on and an Army surplus jacket.

01:00:29.000 Yes.

01:00:29.000 And he makes a total idiot of himself by doing that thing liberals do.

01:00:32.000 They do it with abortion. 1.00

01:00:33.000 Like, what if the dad raped her?

01:00:35.000 Could she have an abortion then? 1.00

01:00:37.000 And you're like, how many times does that fucking happen?

01:00:39.000 And his case was like, what about the people that are, oh, what's the word?

01:00:43.000 Intersex. 0.94

01:00:44.000 Intersex. 0.94

01:00:45.000 Like a chick born with a dick that's, I mean, a clit that's so big it's a dick. 1.00

01:00:50.000 Like China, the wrestler.

01:00:51.000 China.

01:00:52.000 Or allegedly Jamie Lee Curtis.

01:00:55.000 I don't know.

01:00:56.000 Are we going to sit here and make policy for three people?

01:00:59.000 And then he says it's actually 1.8% of the population.

01:01:03.000 Because he had it ready on his phone.

01:01:04.000 And Crowder looked it up later and it's like 0.00000000000001.

01:01:10.000 Yeah, the one that I saw, he...

01:01:12.000 Obviously.

01:01:13.000 When was the last time you met a dude?

01:01:14.000 He's like, you know that chick I fucked the other day? 0.99

01:01:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:17.000 Clit's a dick. 1.00

01:01:19.000 What?

01:01:20.000 Yeah, she has a vagina, but where the clit is, it's like a little kid's penis. 1.00

01:01:24.000 Oh, that's fucking gross.

01:01:26.000 Did it get hard?

01:01:27.000 Sort of.

01:01:28.000 Oh.

01:01:29.000 Well, I've heard of that before.

01:01:32.000 Yeah, why even tell me?

01:01:34.000 If your friend told you that, you'd faint.

01:01:37.000 You'd be like, oh, my Lord in heaven.

01:01:42.000 I would faint.

01:01:43.000 First of all, I wouldn't believe you.

01:01:44.000 First of all, I would go, oh, shit.

01:01:49.000 What the fuck is that?

01:01:50.000 Did you not know I had that?

01:01:51.000 Nah, nigga, what the fuck? 1.00

01:01:53.000 It's saved for neutron bombs.

01:01:55.000 I have what?

01:01:56.000 Tattooed on the inside of my mouth.

01:01:58.000 Since Quen.

01:02:01.000 1996.

01:02:02.000 You're kidding.

01:02:03.000 I heard, you know, somebody told me that those go away in like five years.

01:02:06.000 Not mine.

01:02:07.000 What the fuck?

01:02:07.000 I think he went real deep.

01:02:09.000 This is so weird.

01:02:10.000 I've known you for four or five years, more, six?

01:02:14.000 Too long.

01:02:16.000 And when a guy has a lip tattoo and you didn't know about it, it's weird to me.

01:02:20.000 Well, I obviously forget about it.

01:02:22.000 Wait, I want one.

01:02:23.000 Okay, let's get you one.

01:02:24.000 Anyway.

01:02:25.000 What's your mind say?

01:02:26.000 Never mind.

01:02:27.000 I'll think of it on my own.

01:02:29.000 Yeah.

01:02:29.000 You're thinking of something rude.

01:02:30.000 Come.

01:02:31.000 I knew it.

01:02:33.000 But first I would go, what?

01:02:38.000 Wait, what?

01:02:40.000 Fuck you.

01:02:41.000 Then there'd be a whole ritual of swear on your mother's grave. 0.58

01:02:44.000 Swear you want your children to have cancer if you're lying.

01:02:46.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:02:48.000 All of that stuff.

01:02:49.000 We get through all that.

01:02:51.000 And then when I finally, finally believed you, or, you know, you just wished your mom had cancer just to get this over on me.

01:02:58.000 I guess I would finally believe you.

01:03:00.000 And then you could start saying it.

01:03:02.000 And I wouldn't, oh, the night's over, by the way.

01:03:05.000 Like, I got to drive home.

01:03:06.000 Yeah, I got to buy pearls to clutch them.

01:03:09.000 Yeah.

01:03:09.000 Because, whoa, dude.

01:03:11.000 My wife, I'm going to go home.

01:03:12.000 My wife's going to be like, why is the light on? 0.99

01:03:15.000 And I'll just be like, I can either lie here awake all night staring at the ceiling or I got to tell you something because you're going to fucking shit your pants.

01:03:23.000 So anyway, all of that is to say it's not a thing.

01:03:27.000 So we don't need to start coming up with massive sport policies based on China and Jamie Lee Curtis.

01:03:36.000 My favorite moment is he brings it up on his phone.

01:03:39.000 He won't let him see it.

01:03:39.000 He's all ready to go.

01:03:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:41.000 And he was like, okay.

01:03:42.000 He's like, the number is 0.018.

01:03:45.000 And then he's like, what's the number?

01:03:46.000 He's like, well, it's 0.08.

01:03:50.000 He's like, no, no, no.

01:03:51.000 What's it say?

01:03:52.000 He's like, 0.018 something.

01:03:56.000 Like, he just tries to just tell him he's right.02%.

01:04:00.000 The guy's literally right up.

01:04:02.000 It's eight.

01:04:03.000 Hold it up for it.

01:04:04.000 Anyone that's brought up PubMed and it's going to reflect what you just reflected on.

01:04:09.000 App Shag. 0.94

01:04:13.000 0.0018%, almost 100 times lower than Fausto Sterling estimate of 1.7%.

01:04:19.000 So it is because they're consistent.

01:04:24.000 And then he says, I'm going to check PubMed.

01:04:26.000 He's like, you just checked PubMed.

01:04:28.000 0.0018.

01:04:30.000 He's like, but there's still people.

01:04:31.000 He's like, yeah.

01:04:32.000 I know there's a lot of Americans in this country, 331 million.

01:04:35.000 But can we just all agree to ignore anything that is as low as 0.0018?

01:04:43.000 I don't care what it is.

01:04:45.000 I mean, I'm sorry, but school shootings, as far as the number of kids in school and how many have died in the past, say, 10 years, I bet we're in the 0.0018.

01:04:56.000 I know Europeans love to say, oh, you with your guns.

01:05:01.000 You're always your school shootings.

01:05:03.000 You may have a problem with us here in Europe, but at least we're not having our children slaughtered every day when they're just trying to read a book in school.

01:05:13.000 Yes, school shootings are horrific, but alarmingly rare, I'm afraid.

01:05:20.000 You sure hear a lot about them, but as far as the hundreds of millions of people here, it's pretty fucking rare.

01:05:26.000 And another thing I was thinking about with guns the other day, everywhere in the world we have criminals murdering people with guns.

01:05:36.000 Everywhere in the entire world.

01:05:38.000 And most of these people don't have any kind of gun regulation.

01:05:42.000 We have tons of gun regulation, and we have the exact same scenario.

01:05:48.000 Britain's got stabbings.

01:05:50.000 I'd rather get shot than stabbed.

01:05:51.000 Maybe I'm just retarding.

01:05:54.000 Australia has plenty of gun crime.

01:05:56.000 And Britain, they got their gun crime.

01:06:01.000 They also have a severe rape epidemic going on.

01:06:04.000 Do you really want to compare us to Britain?

01:06:07.000 But like, I'm talking about the darkest parts of Brazil, the Congo, fucking Malaysia. 1.00

01:06:13.000 There's gangsters murdering people with guns.

01:06:16.000 But yeah, it's our gun policy that's causing the problem.

01:06:19.000 Fuck, did you see that horrific video of this 12-year-old girl playing with a revolver that has a crazy clip on it that has like 900 bullets? 1.00

01:06:30.000 It's round, like an old Tommy gun.

01:06:33.000 Right, right.

01:06:33.000 And she's playing with it, and she's like, ooh, I'm going to shoot you.

01:06:39.000 Shoots him.

01:06:40.000 And I think the kickback makes her shoot herself. 0.97

01:06:44.000 Whoa.

01:06:45.000 13-year-old and a 12-year-old.

01:06:48.000 That's a video I will not be watching.

01:06:50.000 It's pretty harsh.

01:06:51.000 And then the video keeps going because it's Facebook Live.

01:06:54.000 And you see everyone else trying to get into the bathroom.

01:06:57.000 And you see them open the door.

01:06:58.000 And they look down.

01:06:59.000 They must see a 12-year-old, 13-year-old in a sea of, you know, much heads bleed.

01:07:03.000 Yeah.

01:07:04.000 Just in a sea of blood, not moving at all.

01:07:07.000 I would still like try to revive them.

01:07:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:11.000 Remember that other video of the girl doing the exact same thing and they're all like 20?

01:07:16.000 And she's like, yo, yo. 0.57

01:07:18.000 And then exact same thing.

01:07:20.000 He's just going, and blood is just pouring.

01:07:24.000 They both run out of the car.

01:07:26.000 He's alive now.

01:07:27.000 Wow.

01:07:28.000 But he's like in a chair and he says, he just goes like, I think one of his eyes is still shut.

01:07:35.000 He's like, don't play with guns.

01:07:40.000 We need more gun regulation.

01:07:43.000 That'll stop that happening.

01:07:45.000 Yeah, if those, that's the video I was just talking about.

01:07:48.000 And there he is.

01:07:48.000 One of his eyes are closed.

01:07:50.000 If only there was gun regulation, they wouldn't have been fucking around in their car with their drugs and their other and their bombs.

01:07:56.000 Look at this poll.

01:08:07.000 She turned that guy into a zombie. 1.00

01:08:11.000 Their drugs and their bombs. 0.78

01:08:15.000 80% of people would rather be shot than stabbed, you know, according to this poll.

01:08:21.000 I think I'm in the...

01:08:22.000 There's a lot of caveats there.

01:08:23.000 Yeah, I know.

01:08:24.000 In the eye?

01:08:25.000 What are we doing here?

01:08:26.000 This is truth.

01:08:27.000 Would you rather survive a gunshot or a stabbing, I guess?

01:08:31.000 Well.

01:08:31.000 Gunshot.

01:08:32.000 I'll tell you what, I want to survive.

01:08:34.000 There was a girl that was being raped on the train by a gang of thugs.

01:08:40.000 I don't care what race they are, despite what you think I want. 0.98

01:08:43.000 And I said, guys, this isn't happening tonight.

01:08:48.000 Not on my watch.

01:08:49.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

01:08:50.000 No, that's way.

01:08:51.000 I started out kidding, and then I tried to get serious, and I was kidding again.

01:08:54.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:08:55.000 Rewind, rewind.

01:08:56.000 Hey! 0.99

01:08:58.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

01:09:00.000 What the fuck you going to do, old man?

01:09:02.000 He's a redneck, okay? 0.98

01:09:04.000 Racist.

01:09:08.000 Well, you can stick around and find out.

01:09:11.000 Or you can leave her the fuck alone and get out of here. 0.99

01:09:13.000 Fuck you, motherfucker. 0.99

01:09:14.000 Big fight.

01:09:16.000 I'm winning.

01:09:17.000 But getting me.

01:09:18.000 Uh-oh.

01:09:19.000 And then I got cut.

01:09:22.000 Right across my eye.

01:09:23.000 This eye's garbage.

01:09:24.000 Oh, hell yeah.

01:09:24.000 Guess what I got to do now?

01:09:27.000 Wear a fucking eye patch.

01:09:30.000 An eye patch with a scar?

01:09:33.000 Eye patch?

01:09:34.000 Scar.

01:09:35.000 That's sick.

01:09:36.000 So a red-blooded American male does not secretly wish for that every night that he gets his eyes slit into.

01:09:44.000 For real, though, it's a look.

01:09:46.000 It's a look, man.

01:09:47.000 I would give up the glasses.

01:09:49.000 I'd blow that guy right now.

01:09:51.000 Yep.

01:09:52.000 And he's a cartoon.

01:09:53.000 Yeah.

01:09:54.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:55.000 Snake Plisskin?

01:09:57.000 Drool.

01:09:58.000 Drool.

01:09:59.000 I know a guy at the bar.

01:10:00.000 Not so much.

01:10:02.000 He's not a great-looking guy.

01:10:03.000 He works at the post office.

01:10:05.000 He's dead in one eye.

01:10:06.000 And I'm like, what the fuck don't you have an eye patch?

01:10:08.000 You got to buy him one.

01:10:09.000 And he goes, I don't, Gavin.

01:10:11.000 He always says Gavin all the time.

01:10:13.000 He goes, Gavin, I don't want people knowing that I've got a vulnerability.

01:10:16.000 Now you got one up on me.

01:10:18.000 I don't want you knowing that.

01:10:19.000 I'm blind in one eye.

01:10:20.000 I'm like, why?

01:10:21.000 Are we having a fork fight later on?

01:10:25.000 Oh, I know you can't see me coming up on this side.

01:10:30.000 Great look.

01:10:31.000 Is there one guy who's not attractive who has an up?

01:10:34.000 I mean, this guy's kind of pushing it, but I mean, imagine him with strings.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:10:39.000 This guy.

01:10:41.000 It would be kind of weird, though, in the suburbs, like picking your kid up from T-ball.

01:10:48.000 You're just like, hello.

01:10:52.000 I'm sorry I'm late.

01:10:54.000 I hate pirate jokes.

01:10:55.000 I hate anything pirate.

01:10:56.000 It was a little hack.

01:10:57.000 Pirate Day.

01:10:59.000 Remember that in that Dodgeball movie?

01:11:01.000 Pirates are so fucking corny, man.

01:11:04.000 We got some calls.

01:11:05.000 And arms back on.

01:11:07.000 I could fix it.

01:11:09.000 Congratulations, guys.

01:11:11.000 It's a healthy baby.

01:11:13.000 8 pounds, 7 ounces.

01:11:14.000 PBLI would like to welcome the world, our brother Matt's first child, Natalie Lynn, after much trying.

01:11:19.000 Born this Saturday, March 26th.

01:11:21.000 A nice, healthy 8 pounds, 7 inches.

01:11:23.000 Congratulations, brother Matt.

01:11:28.000 You got a rocky seven weeks coming up, buddy.

01:11:31.000 Right, Ryan?

01:11:32.000 Get your sleeping while you can because they're crying.

01:11:36.000 But after that seven weeks, it's all gravy.

01:11:38.000 It's Evan.

01:11:41.000 We read that for Joe Biggs' prayers.

01:11:44.000 Government's from ICIA Globalist.

01:11:46.000 Fucking true.

01:11:47.000 Yep.

01:11:47.000 Great time to be an anarchist.

01:11:48.000 Too bad the anarchists have been taken over by the government.

01:11:52.000 The government has ruined everything, including the anarchist movement.

01:11:56.000 And now you have Antifa going to anti-mandate rallies and going, get your fucking vax.

01:12:02.000 Put a mask on.

01:12:03.000 The government said I'm an anarchist.

01:12:07.000 Grandmaster Gav Rye Guy and Rawdog Maddie, who unfortunately is probably just watching this from home at best.

01:12:12.000 You guys are all absolute legends.

01:12:14.000 You know what's funny about Maddie too? 0.95

01:12:15.000 I go, hey man, if you die, you owe me $100 from that thing.

01:12:21.000 Can you leave it like under a rock or something before you go to the hospital?

01:12:25.000 And he's like, yeah, I'll leave it.

01:12:26.000 And then he told me a hiding spot.

01:12:29.000 I'm like, is it possible he thinks I'm serious?

01:12:32.000 That would be the saddest $100 to claim.

01:12:34.000 Like he leaves behind a thing with a little joke, be like, told you I get it.

01:12:37.000 And you'd be like, it'd be so sad.

01:12:40.000 Hey, Buster.

01:12:42.000 What do you buy with that?

01:12:44.000 PJs? 0.98

01:12:45.000 Fuck.

01:12:46.000 Lots of flowers.

01:12:47.000 No, that's gay.

01:12:48.000 For him.

01:12:50.000 Oh, then it's not gay. 0.82

01:12:53.000 I live in Southern Florida, been down here 10 years.

01:12:55.000 For God's sake, it is a nursing home here on the plantation.

01:12:59.000 I mind as well be dead at the age of 27.

01:13:03.000 Thank you all for keeping me alive.

01:13:05.000 Yeah, Florida's got a lot of great shit about it, but it's also got a lot of fucking old folks. 1.00

01:13:12.000 They're almost like, it's almost like living in an Amish community or in a black part of town or in some other place where there's this very big group that clearly dominates the area and you're not one of them.

01:13:26.000 It's weird when you see young people and like when I visit my parents at New Smarna Beach, I see these young people out, you know, working the tables and stuff and having fun with each other.

01:13:36.000 And they're in an area that's 90% geriatric.

01:13:42.000 This guy says, moved from France to Tampa about a year ago, and yes, Florida is boring.

01:13:46.000 At first, it looks like this.

01:13:48.000 Not too bad, right?

01:13:49.000 Then you realize the weather does not change year-round.

01:13:52.000 It's something you appreciate and you miss.

01:13:54.000 Blah, blah.

01:13:56.000 Personally, I think I'd like to live in Florida.

01:13:58.000 I know a lot of cool people there, but maybe they're right, though.

01:14:01.000 The flatness.

01:14:02.000 Like, New York is, I like the geography.

01:14:06.000 Let's get back to this black chick. 1.00

01:14:08.000 I'm going to take the boobs as not an asset, believe it or not. 0.80

01:14:13.000 I don't want those tits that big in my life. 1.00

01:14:16.000 Like, they're just, they're all consuming.

01:14:19.000 So, obviously, the face is like a nine, but I'm going to, and I'm going to have fun the first week with the tits, but then when we're like at Disneyland with the kids, I'm going to be kind of annoyed.

01:14:29.000 So I'm going to give her.

01:14:32.000 You're not going to like this.

01:14:33.000 I'm going to give her a 7.8.

01:14:35.000 Wow.

01:14:36.000 What about you, Ryan?

01:14:38.000 That's kind of high, right?

01:14:39.000 But...

01:14:40.000 No, it's not.

01:14:40.000 Look at her.

01:14:41.000 Let's see.

01:14:43.000 She does have a very pretty face.

01:14:44.000 You're right.

01:14:46.000 And she got that good hair. 0.97

01:14:48.000 And here's the full body wig.

01:14:51.000 There's not too much issue there, right?

01:14:54.000 She's pretty chubs. 1.00

01:14:55.000 All right.

01:14:56.000 Next letter.

01:14:59.000 Gavin Rye guy, I'm sick of Autistic Fans sending you sprinkles. 1.00

01:15:03.000 This guy is ancient secret, but he actually has talent.

01:15:07.000 Actual sprinkles.

01:15:09.000 This won't be sprinkles, I guarantee.

01:15:12.000 But it is.

01:15:13.000 We'll hit the gong if it's really an ancient Chinese. 1.00

01:15:18.000 Why isn't the audio?

01:15:23.000 Ain't I famous?

01:15:24.000 Hey.

01:15:25.000 I ain't got...

01:15:26.000 Oh, and look at all these condom, I got hella condemn.

01:15:31.000 Hey, man.

01:15:32.000 Who got condom on the day? 0.90

01:15:34.000 I got two, four, fifty-five-15 condom in here.

01:15:37.000 Put that in the dad, boy.

01:15:39.000 Put that boy with the chip and the gun.

01:15:42.000 We don't drill on the gun.

01:15:45.000 Fuck you, asshole. 0.99

01:15:47.000 Stop wasting our time.

01:15:49.000 Fuck, I hate you.

01:15:50.000 I'm suspicious of drugs, by the way.

01:15:52.000 Ugh.

01:15:53.000 When you're feeling good on a little on a perk buzz and you can disassociate from yourself and do impressions real good.

01:15:59.000 I go through all of the emails before we do this show, but then I get new ones that have started since we went live.

01:16:05.000 So sometimes I get greedy and I jump on those and I end up with some actual spinkers.

01:16:13.000 This is a $100 thingy.

01:16:17.000 Tell TG to read his email and respond to Plopless.

01:16:23.000 I can sponsor this damn show.

01:16:25.000 Also, what is your solution to relatives always showing up to your house?

01:16:28.000 We have a 15-month-old and they want to see the kid.

01:16:30.000 I get that, but I'm sick of it and ban them all until further notice they were showing.

01:16:34.000 Let me see.

01:16:35.000 I could find out the full respond topless?

01:16:41.000 Don't do that.

01:16:43.000 Well, tell TG, who's TG?

01:16:46.000 The Gav.

01:16:47.000 Oh, I think.

01:16:48.000 Fucking annoying.

01:16:50.000 To read his email and respond.

01:16:52.000 I can sponsor this damn show.

01:16:54.000 What does that mean?

01:16:55.000 Let me see.

01:16:55.000 TPC.

01:16:56.000 He wants to be a sponsor, so you probably got a company here.

01:16:59.000 Here, I got the full message.

01:17:01.000 Here we go.

01:17:03.000 I'm so annoyed right now.

01:17:04.000 You don't like that?

01:17:05.000 That actual sprinkles really piss me off.

01:17:07.000 Oh, that is.

01:17:08.000 That's ruining everything else.

01:17:11.000 And respond, also, what is your solution?

01:17:13.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:17:14.000 I'm sick of it.

01:17:14.000 Abandon them off there showing up between five to seven times last year.

01:17:18.000 Now actually look, yeah, you're an asshole, dude.

01:17:21.000 More visitors, the better.

01:17:22.000 Get the baby off your hands. 0.99

01:17:24.000 You're a dick, so that's two dicks in a row.

01:17:27.000 Number three.

01:17:30.000 First of all, this is from Australia.

01:17:32.000 I'd like to say thank you for helping me realize that marriage and children is the best and most meaningful thing to aim for.

01:17:37.000 Just over a month ago, I married my fiancé.

01:17:39.000 We plan to knock her up this year. 1.00

01:17:40.000 I'm 29.

01:17:41.000 She's 26.

01:17:43.000 One child is for losers.

01:17:46.000 Two children is for fags. 0.99

01:17:50.000 Three is the bare minimum.

01:17:52.000 It's hard to get three or more when you start as late as I did.

01:17:57.000 So actually, you're not much earlier than me, Ryan.

01:18:00.000 I was 36.

01:18:01.000 30.

01:18:02.000 Yeah, I was 36 when I had my first kid.

01:18:04.000 You're what, 31?

01:18:05.000 Yep.

01:18:06.000 I was always afraid of, yeah, like being too late.

01:18:10.000 But now, number two is like, now I'm afraid of number two being too late.

01:18:14.000 But you know, it'd be fun.

01:18:15.000 Older brother, we're just thinking about this.

01:18:17.000 If she's like two years older than a little brother, so she's like able to speak and express herself, and then you got a little baby, like, you know, being little, like, if it's a boy.

01:18:27.000 Two years is the max gap.

01:18:29.000 More than two years, they're just like roommates.

01:18:32.000 Anyway, our wedding was an absolute jam with GOML references peppered throughout.

01:18:36.000 My suit was made by Nita Fashions.

01:18:39.000 The recessional song was The Bonnie.

01:18:42.000 You can beld a bonnie. 0.97

01:18:45.000 And my best man finished off his speech by hoping we saw like the bird which is the bald eagle.

01:18:49.000 Oh, that's fantastic.

01:18:51.000 My wife is an incredibly strong woman. 0.79

01:18:54.000 She is 6'4 and weighs 460 pounds.

01:18:58.000 She won the top bodybuilding award for Malaysia because she lifted what is considered their heaviest, what they call their heaviest human stone.

01:19:08.000 I guess over there, human stones are stones that a human could lift.

01:19:12.000 Obviously, their biggest stone is being much bigger.

01:19:15.000 Her feet are size 14, and she has to buy gloves online from the NBA because her fingers are over six inches in diameter.

01:19:26.000 Wow.

01:19:28.000 I am clearly a fag if I'm attracted to a woman this masculine. 0.65

01:19:31.000 So fuck you. 0.68

01:19:32.000 No, I wasn't reading the letter.

01:19:34.000 She's an incredibly strong woman.

01:19:36.000 She's Malaysian and her family's Muslim.

01:19:38.000 In her teen years, she already knew that she wanted nothing to do with that shit.

01:19:41.000 When we told her parents, she's not a bodybuilder.

01:19:45.000 That was a joke, people.

01:19:48.000 All he said was strong woman, and then I went off on a joke bit.

01:19:51.000 When we told her, I have to explain these things because Ryan doesn't get these things.

01:19:55.000 I do represent a lot of people.

01:19:57.000 She's strong.

01:19:59.000 I represent a lot of people that might not get that.

01:20:02.000 When we told her parents we were engaged, they said to convert to Islam, blah, blah, blah.

01:20:05.000 And they say we ignored their demands and got married anyway.

01:20:07.000 Her mom still messages us saying, please do it for us so we can move past this and be a family.

01:20:12.000 I used to tell her not to ignore the messages and take the high road.

01:20:15.000 But since they're still doing it after the wedding, which they didn't attend, fucking Jesus.

01:20:21.000 Muslims.

01:20:24.000 I'm over this shit.

01:20:25.000 Next time I see my mother, I'm likely to lose my shit at her. 1.00

01:20:27.000 What would you do?

01:20:28.000 Continue to ignore it?

01:20:29.000 Continue to be pleasant?

01:20:29.000 I want to fuck with my heels.

01:20:31.000 Here's my advice, sir.

01:20:32.000 And you've sent this letter a few times, but whatever.

01:20:35.000 I guess it worked.

01:20:38.000 I would lie.

01:20:39.000 Obviously, you're dealing with cave people, right?

01:20:42.000 These are not human beings.

01:20:44.000 If they're not coming to your wedding because she didn't convert, then they're archaic cave fuckheads. 1.00

01:20:51.000 And they're Muslims.

01:20:52.000 I mean, who cares about their feelings?

01:20:55.000 I would just go, mom, great news.

01:20:57.000 I don't know why I'm assuming this Malaysian woman has an Australian accent.

01:21:01.000 We converted.

01:21:02.000 Oh, thank you.

01:21:03.000 The blessings are.

01:21:04.000 Praises due to Allah.

01:21:05.000 Now the mother is Indian somehow. 1.00

01:21:07.000 I have limited accents, okay?

01:21:11.000 And then say, yeah, oh, who is your Imam?

01:21:14.000 And what was the mosque's, you know, she maybe asked some skill testing questions and go, oh, I think his name was Eddie and the mosque is like the Al-Shabaz.

01:21:21.000 I kind of forget.

01:21:25.000 Just lie.

01:21:26.000 You want the parents.

01:21:26.000 The grandparents should be part of the child's life.

01:21:29.000 As long as they're not going to fucking honor kill her for shaming the family. 0.97

01:21:34.000 But if they're not that extreme, I would just say lie.

01:21:36.000 Yeah, yeah, we did that.

01:21:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:38.000 Oh, we're Muslims.

01:21:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:40.000 Not drink around them and make it work.

01:21:43.000 And if they catch you, I don't know, continue to deny, deny, deny.

01:21:47.000 That would be my advice.

01:21:49.000 Like, you're talking about them like they're equals.

01:21:52.000 I wouldn't lie to Ryan about being Muslim because I see him as, this hurts me to say, but I see him as an equal.

01:22:01.000 But if he was like, what are you doing?

01:22:03.000 You need to convert to the, I just, yeah, I would tell that person to fuck off. 1.00

01:22:07.000 But if it was like a human rodent that was like, I'm still little.

01:22:11.000 I can only fly my little plane around your studio if you say, Allah, Allah.

01:22:16.000 Okay, Allah, Allah.

01:22:19.000 That's what I do.

01:22:20.000 There's no skin off your bum.

01:22:22.000 And the kids get to see their grandparents.

01:22:24.000 Like, don't let her gay rules fuck up your child's future. 1.00

01:22:29.000 Would you rather take a punch to the face by Ryan once a week?

01:22:33.000 He's probably going to get better at it.

01:22:34.000 You know, he's going to see where, like, he gets the most.

01:22:36.000 That's if I wanted to hurt you.

01:22:38.000 I mean, I probably wouldn't be so amped to do this.

01:22:40.000 Or take a punch to the body by Mike Tyson once a month.

01:22:44.000 You know, it'd be funny.

01:22:44.000 Most days I would just do it just like this just to get over it.

01:22:47.000 No, no, no.

01:22:48.000 You get like stabbed.

01:22:49.000 Obviously, the people who've set this up have thought about you not punching me are dumbass.

01:22:54.000 Damn it.

01:22:59.000 Yeah, that Mike Tyson or that could do some real damage.

01:23:03.000 But then, so could a Ryan punch.

01:23:07.000 It's not like...

01:23:08.000 Was it every day with the Ryan punch?

01:23:12.000 Let's see.

01:23:13.000 Once a week.

01:23:15.000 Once a month.

01:23:17.000 I'm going to go...

01:23:18.000 You can get your eye patch dream fulfilled.

01:23:20.000 Oh, he's punching my body.

01:23:22.000 No, but from you?

01:23:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:23:25.000 That's a really good one, I gotta say.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, that's good.

01:23:27.000 But I'm gonna go with the Tyson body, and I'm just gonna devote my every morning to working on my core and strengthening my core so he doesn't break my ribs.

01:23:38.000 He's getting older, too.

01:23:40.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:23:41.000 And plus, if you're braced for it, I think you might be able to survive.

01:23:47.000 But like, once a week, a punch, I'm gonna start having my orbital socket or whatever smashed in and my retina separated from my eye and all kinds of dental damage.

01:23:59.000 And ugh.

01:24:01.000 It could get really damaging.

01:24:03.000 Yeah.

01:24:04.000 You might piss blood and shit.

01:24:06.000 Yeah, no, fuck that.

01:24:06.000 I'd take a face punch.

01:24:09.000 Well, Brian, I just said I'm going with the Tyson thing.

01:24:13.000 And you said, yeah, I agree with you.

01:24:15.000 I'm going with the face punch too.

01:24:17.000 No, but you said you were like, either you're going to get a lot of body damage and stuff.

01:24:20.000 And I was like, yeah, that's...

01:24:21.000 No, I was discussing my face.

01:24:24.000 My retina, orbital, my teeth.

01:24:26.000 These are all in.

01:24:27.000 I don't know where you store your teeth.

01:24:28.000 Mine are in my head.

01:24:30.000 Really?

01:24:31.000 That's weird.

01:24:32.000 Yeah.

01:24:35.000 This guy sent us a picture, Remember When.

01:24:38.000 Okay.

01:24:39.000 Remember when is the lowest form of conversation?

01:24:43.000 I didn't know that.

01:24:44.000 Let's see, remember when.

01:24:45.000 It's just a picture?

01:24:47.000 It said a video.

01:24:48.000 Oh, there we go.

01:24:50.000 You're on the line.

01:24:52.000 307, you're on the line.

01:24:54.000 Hey, how's it going, guys?

01:24:55.000 What's going on?

01:24:57.000 Hey, I was the first caller.

01:24:59.000 I was calling back to demand my free shit.

01:25:01.000 Yeah, the first two callers.

01:25:03.000 Oh, for free.

01:25:04.000 Right on.

01:25:05.000 But hey, I'm also in the market for a suit.

01:25:07.000 I'm out in Wyoming.

01:25:09.000 And I was thinking about Nina Fashions, but I'll tell you, I ordered some Censore TV t-shirts two weeks ago coming out of Vegas, and they're not to Wyoming yet.

01:25:21.000 So that guy is the correct winner of the suit, by the way.

01:25:25.000 Yes, so we got him.

01:25:26.000 Yeah, we got to get him a suit.

01:25:28.000 That's true.

01:25:30.000 You're a correct sir.

01:25:31.000 I'm on it.

01:25:32.000 We're very slow with these things, I should say.

01:25:35.000 I don't usually handle stuff like that.

01:25:36.000 And by the way, I've got some news about sucking off a piece of shit.

01:25:41.000 People say, I got a letter that said, stop, stop, don't suck off a piece of shit.

01:25:45.000 You won the bet.

01:25:47.000 The bet was you drink a glass of bourbon or I suck off a piece of shit.

01:25:53.000 And there are people there saying that I won the bet.

01:25:57.000 Now, what was the bet?

01:25:58.000 Well, that's a great question.

01:25:59.000 Yeah.

01:26:02.000 How to boost Rye Guy's low IT?

01:26:05.000 I mean, tee.

01:26:07.000 Quit video games.

01:26:10.000 Laser?

01:26:11.000 Oh, loser.

01:26:12.000 Stop playing with your bangs.

01:26:14.000 Yes, please.

01:26:15.000 Three, take responsibility for one.

01:26:17.000 So that would be nice.

01:26:18.000 No excuses and not having to get the last word in.

01:26:20.000 And four, don't be Asian. 1.00

01:26:22.000 Okay, well, that's going to be tough.

01:26:24.000 I can't do that.

01:26:25.000 I am cut with Puerto Rican, though, too, so that should help. 1.00

01:26:28.000 Would you rather discover incontrovertible evidence that flat earth is real or Trump won the 2020 election?

01:26:41.000 I would rather discover, I have discovered that Trump won the election.

01:26:46.000 If you're talking, I assume in this thing, I get evidence that I can take to court.

01:26:51.000 As far as the earth being flat, if the earth is flat, everything I know is a lie.

01:26:57.000 God doesn't exist.

01:26:59.000 Nope.

01:27:00.000 Physics is wrong.

01:27:01.000 God superexists.

01:27:02.000 It's in the Bible.

01:27:02.000 It says the firmament, and then it mentions a lot of flat earth stuff.

01:27:08.000 So that would double your Bibleness. 0.55

01:27:10.000 Okay.

01:27:11.000 Where are you with your flat earth, Mr. Different Brain every week?

01:27:15.000 I don't.

01:27:16.000 I'm not solid on it, but I have reasons to believe that maybe we don't live on a globe.

01:27:24.000 I don't trust the sources.

01:27:26.000 You know what I saw?

01:27:26.000 I saw a meme that said it was the Tower of Babel, and it said man's first attempt at space travel, and it was the Tower of Babel.

01:27:34.000 And I was like, pretty good.

01:27:40.000 You're immune to the music.

01:27:41.000 What about the moon?

01:27:42.000 Isn't the moon awfully round?

01:27:43.000 They say the moon now is made of plasma, and it's a reflection of the earth.

01:27:50.000 I've just heard that from Josh LaCash.

01:27:52.000 Now, it's interesting.

01:27:55.000 I don't believe.

01:27:56.000 Here's what I do.

01:27:57.000 I don't believe.

01:27:58.000 Here's what I do know.

01:27:59.000 Here's what I do know.

01:27:59.000 No, no, no.

01:28:00.000 I don't believe in flat or globe earth.

01:28:04.000 I just know that I have reasons to disbelieve.

01:28:06.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.

01:28:06.000 That's such a pussy-out bullshit thing that you always do where you go, I'm just, I'm asking questions.

01:28:12.000 I believe Plato said the only thing we know is that we know nothing.

01:28:16.000 So, really?

01:28:18.000 You should talk to Plato.

01:28:19.000 You guys have the same IQ.

01:28:20.000 I like playing with Plato.

01:28:22.000 I used to eat it as a child.

01:28:23.000 Yeah, that was my joke, shit lips.

01:28:26.000 Hey, boys, what the fuck is the deal with Mexicans throwing poop paper in the trash? 1.00

01:28:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:31.000 They don't.

01:28:32.000 In Central and South America, they don't have the same ability to handle paper in their sewage system.

01:28:40.000 They can only handle shit and piss. 1.00

01:28:42.000 So when Colombians, Dominicans, whatever, I see this at the boxing gym all the time, they wipe their ass with toilet paper, not just paper towels, toilet paper, and then they put it in the waste paper basket. 1.00

01:28:52.000 So there's Spanish signs at my gym that say, El no tiembro los paperos no tolete in the garbaggio.

01:29:01.000 That's impressive.

01:29:04.000 You may have run into this guy to AFPAC.

01:29:06.000 He's in America.

01:29:06.000 First guy running for office.

01:29:07.000 Just got fired from his job for saying he didn't like Dave Rubin gay adopting a baby.

01:29:12.000 If I recall you and Camille were talking about that recently, he probably would be a good guy to talk to.

01:29:15.000 His name is King Nub. 0.85

01:29:17.000 Oh, yeah, King Nub's great.

01:29:19.000 We did the one-arm push-ups together, and he got fired from his job.

01:29:23.000 Oh, he's in our movie.

01:29:25.000 Yes.

01:29:27.000 King Nub.

01:29:28.000 Yeah, he got fired from his shit.

01:29:31.000 For not being for gay adoption.

01:29:34.000 He's such a nice dude, too.

01:29:36.000 Like, somebody said some bullshit to him.

01:29:38.000 There he is with you.

01:29:39.000 Yeah.

01:29:40.000 Somebody said some bullshit to him in this.

01:29:42.000 Like, they were like, ironic how you're standing up for blah, blah, blah.

01:29:45.000 Oh, no, not him.

01:29:46.000 You're for traditional family, but you don't have traditional arms.

01:29:49.000 Ever think of that?

01:29:51.000 That's pretty funny.

01:29:53.000 Some asshole was giving him shit, and he was just being nice to him.

01:29:57.000 He was like, hey, good joke, but no, dude, I actually have four kids and shit, so nice try, but nope.

01:30:02.000 I love when people flex like that.

01:30:04.000 You probably aren't even getting laid.

01:30:05.000 Or the other one is like, you probably have such a small dick. 0.96

01:30:10.000 It's like you're worried about my dick.

01:30:12.000 You prefer large dicks. 1.00

01:30:14.000 Is that what you're saying when you're talking to men?

01:30:17.000 Interesting.

01:30:17.000 Your dick probably tastes gross.

01:30:21.000 I bet your dick feels like a little worm in my hand if I touch it.

01:30:25.000 It probably takes forever to get hard.

01:30:27.000 And even when it is hard, it's not like rock hard.

01:30:29.000 It's just like kind of hard.

01:30:32.000 You still bend?

01:30:33.000 I bet when you shoot a load, it's just like, it would just be like a few drops of my beard.

01:30:37.000 It wouldn't even like fill my glasses.

01:30:40.000 Remember we were joking like that on the train once?

01:30:43.000 And we got a lecture from some old lady, Karen, who took her aside and told us we're everything wrong with this country?

01:30:48.000 Yes.

01:30:49.000 I called her, told her, mind her own fucking business, you stupid cunt. 1.00

01:30:53.000 And she went.

01:30:56.000 Yep.

01:30:56.000 She didn't get shut down.

01:30:58.000 This is an important one.

01:30:59.000 There are some frogs that don't just let you eat they ass. 1.00

01:31:04.000 Okay.

01:31:05.000 Okay.

01:31:06.000 Clicking.

01:31:07.000 And click.

01:31:08.000 I've already clicked and watched.

01:31:09.000 Unloading.

01:31:10.000 Okay, I'm going to fix the alarm while you guys watch a snake and a frog and a frog not give up.

01:31:16.000 A toad.

01:31:28.000 Answer.

01:31:29.000 So the snake has the frog by the right foot.

01:31:34.000 Trying to eat some frog legs.

01:31:36.000 Now he's got his body now.

01:31:38.000 Oh! 0.60

01:31:38.000 The frog has escaped and is traversing the fence. 0.60

01:31:45.000 And the snake is nowhere to be seen anymore.

01:31:50.000 Yeah.

01:31:51.000 Now the frog's on the wall.

01:31:52.000 No chance for the snake.

01:31:54.000 Sorry, snake.

01:31:55.000 Maybe try again next time.

01:32:00.000 I think I turn it off.

01:32:01.000 I mean, what is more annoying than a fucking alarm?

01:32:04.000 This isn't our alarm, by the way.

01:32:06.000 We share a hallway with another office.

01:32:10.000 And every fucking night we come here.

01:32:14.000 The alarm is going, beep, beep, beep, beep.

01:32:17.000 And then Ryan says, this is amazing.

01:32:19.000 He goes, we should tell them to disarm their alarm for when we're here.

01:32:24.000 And I go, what do you mean?

01:32:26.000 Why do you think it's going off because we're here?

01:32:28.000 We don't go into their area.

01:32:30.000 And he goes, well, maybe it's when we open our front door.

01:32:33.000 Why would our front door be linked to their alarm?

01:32:39.000 I didn't think it out too much, but I did speak instantly.

01:32:46.000 That is a t-shirt.

01:32:49.000 You are the Kamala Harris of Censored TV.

01:32:53.000 Did you hear her Jamaican speech?

01:32:55.000 That's one of the letters we didn't get to.

01:32:58.000 It was her usual...

01:33:00.000 Like, now I'm hearing her, and I'm like, don't you have a speechwriter at this point?

01:33:09.000 No one's really impressed.

01:33:11.000 I mean, there's JFK and all that, but when a normal, mediocre, run-in-the-mill politician does a talk and it's good, we're not like, wow, you're smart.

01:33:22.000 We just go, okay, he's got a good speechwriter and he managed to read it right.

01:33:26.000 But when someone, and then when they do like a Q ⁇ A, you get to see how smart they actually are, right?

01:33:31.000 Because they're not reading those translucent teleprompters.

01:33:35.000 But when you see fucking Kamala Harris, you're like, is she just going off the grid? 1.00

01:33:42.000 I'm off the grid.

01:33:44.000 What is this?

01:33:45.000 Is this just, hey, Kamala, we have the speech ready and we have the teleprompters.

01:33:48.000 No, actually, I'm going to just wing it.

01:33:52.000 Because that's how she's talking.

01:33:54.000 And, you know, I always say Tucker Carlson should just wing it.

01:33:58.000 If there's anyone who should not be reading a teleprompter, it's Tucker Carlson.

01:34:02.000 If there's anyone who should, it's fucking Pina Colada Harris. 1.00

01:34:07.000 Pretty good.

01:34:08.000 I stole a few more.

01:34:09.000 We also recognize, just as it has been in the United States for Jamaica, one of the issues that has been presented as an issue that is economic in the way of its impact has been the pandemic.

01:34:21.000 So to that end, we are announcing today also that we will assist Jamaica in COVID recovery by assisting in terms of the recovery efforts in Jamaica that have been essential to, I believe, what is necessary to strengthen not only the issue of public health,

01:34:40.000 but also the economy.

01:34:43.000 Okay, I know what happened there.

01:34:44.000 She has a piece of paper that says, we will continue to assist Jamaica.

01:34:51.000 We will consist them both economically and with the pandemic.

01:34:56.000 It's like three sentences like that.

01:34:58.000 And she's so confident, she's like, you know what?

01:35:00.000 I'll use these, but they're going to be like my spine.

01:35:04.000 They're going to be my basic beats.

01:35:05.000 And then I'm going to fucking add some other floral language to it to make it awesome. 1.00

01:35:11.000 Because people keep making fun of me.

01:35:13.000 And I'm sick of it.

01:35:14.000 And I am good at talking.

01:35:16.000 I was a lawyer for many years.

01:35:18.000 So watch me take these three sentences and weave them into this incredible tapestry of beautiful vocabulary.

01:35:27.000 And no.

01:35:27.000 When I saw her say that, I thought, weren't you in court ever?

01:35:31.000 Like, wasn't she a lawyer?

01:35:33.000 Didn't she have to deliver closing statements? 0.99

01:35:37.000 See if there's footage of her lawyer.

01:35:38.000 She's worse than Saul Goodman.

01:35:44.000 Someone is sending us the crazy hot matrix again.

01:35:48.000 Guys, if you're trying to make me mad, that's not as effective as putting the dollar sign on the wrong side of the number.

01:35:57.000 Oh, we haven't taken a call yet.

01:35:59.000 We have not taken a call.

01:36:00.000 Sorry, folks.

01:36:02.000 Shiza.

01:36:03.000 Shaisa.

01:36:04.000 That's your job, dude.

01:36:05.000 My bads.

01:36:06.000 All right.

01:36:07.000 37 minutes on the hold.

01:36:09.000 You're now.

01:36:10.000 Sorry, caller.

01:36:12.000 Yo, what up?

01:36:13.000 What up, dog?

01:36:14.000 What's happening?

01:36:16.000 Nothing.

01:36:19.000 How many generations do you think the average millennial generations back do you think the average millennial knows like their grandparents?

01:36:29.000 What?

01:36:31.000 How many grandparents do you think the average millennial knows of theirs?

01:36:37.000 Four?

01:36:39.000 So your grandparents, grandparents, grandparents, grandparents?

01:36:45.000 Oh, you mean like generations or like how many people that are millennials and grandparents?

01:36:51.000 Oh.

01:36:52.000 I would say most people my age have no grandparents.

01:36:55.000 I'm 50.

01:36:56.000 I would say most people Ryan's age, 30, have like two or three.

01:37:01.000 And I would say most people that are around 20 have all four.

01:37:06.000 Is that what you mean?

01:37:07.000 No, like the history.

01:37:07.000 No, like the history of it.

01:37:09.000 Do I know my grandparents' grandparents?

01:37:12.000 Oh, you're right.

01:37:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:14.000 No, none of us know that.

01:37:15.000 That's sad, but I guilt myself for that.

01:37:17.000 None of us know anything about our grandparents' parents.

01:37:21.000 Yeah, I think that's the problem.

01:37:23.000 I do, but...

01:37:24.000 I don't know.

01:37:24.000 Look, I'll never forget.

01:37:26.000 I was at a cemetery in Paris on my honeymoon, and I was looking at these gravestones and they were gone.

01:37:33.000 Like you couldn't read anything on them.

01:37:35.000 But occasionally you could make out a date and the date would be like 1910.

01:37:40.000 And I realized that we're talking about grandparents' parents here and the gravestones were gone.

01:37:46.000 Now there was no effort to replace them because some people go to their grandparents' gravesite.

01:37:51.000 No one goes to anyone else's.

01:37:54.000 Like you don't go to your grandparents' parents.

01:37:56.000 So yeah.

01:37:58.000 And the thing about boomers, like the greatest generation, they were just happy to be alive.

01:38:03.000 So they didn't really carry on any kind of history of their parents, at least not in my culture.

01:38:08.000 In Scottish culture, like my grandfather didn't even tell his kids his real name, which was McGinnis.

01:38:15.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:38:17.000 I think it's a myth that we used to have this great connection with our ancestors and now we don't.

01:38:24.000 I get what he's saying, but I don't think that's a thing.

01:38:26.000 Yeah, because the guys at the Knights of Columbus, they got some bomb-ass stories.

01:38:29.000 They won't even tell you.

01:38:30.000 And they're, you know, that's weird, right?

01:38:34.000 Like, you think if they had these bad things.

01:38:36.000 It's a totally different subject, Ryan.

01:38:37.000 Well, those guys are talking about the 70s when they were alive.

01:38:40.000 They're not talking about their grandparents.

01:38:43.000 But I think as you go up in generations, they're less likely to just tell you about their lives.

01:38:50.000 It's like, oh, that's a story for another day.

01:38:52.000 You're like, come on, man.

01:38:53.000 Fucking tell me something.

01:38:55.000 This guy's Engage 206.

01:38:58.000 Hey, Gavin, Uhuru.

01:38:59.000 Uhuru.

01:39:01.000 Hey, so I called a couple weeks ago talking about engagement, and you shared the story about how you can fuck it up pretty bad.

01:39:08.000 So, you know, do it well.

01:39:10.000 So, needless to say, a couple weeks ago, got engaged to my now fiance.

01:39:15.000 Nice.

01:39:15.000 And it was the time of her life.

01:39:17.000 She was over the moon.

01:39:18.000 We're both very ecstatic and looking forward to marriage and kids.

01:39:22.000 And yeah, honestly, one of the greatest decisions of my life.

01:39:25.000 So thanks for pushing me in that direction.

01:39:27.000 No problem, pal.

01:39:29.000 It's got a lot of letters like this today.

01:39:31.000 This message has been the predominant message for this show.

01:39:36.000 Well, I think it's important, especially for guys my age, you know, 25, 26 that are hesitant towards commitment.

01:39:42.000 And it's huge.

01:39:44.000 So, you know, I just was curious, could you highlight the importance of the nuclear family, especially in like 2022?

01:39:54.000 Yeah.

01:39:54.000 I mean, I hate that people say, you know, I'm glad I'm on the back end and, you know, my life's over and give up.

01:40:02.000 There's no sense in carrying on.

01:40:04.000 But all of these problems that we have with America, they're all pretty circumstantial and superficial.

01:40:14.000 And nothing changes your life more drastically than getting married and having kids.

01:40:18.000 So that's what you should be focused on.

01:40:20.000 Not the Dow Jones or a potential war with fucking Russia or any of that stupid shit.

01:40:28.000 And once you have these kids, you realize how silly it was and how petty it was for you to be worried about all that other dumb shit, Ukraine and fucking everything else. 0.83

01:40:38.000 I mean, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be concerned about issues like the fagification of youth, but once you have kids, you realize that all that is just ancillary and what really matters is you and your offspring every day. 0.99

01:40:53.000 And of course, nothing raises kids like two parents staying together.

01:40:58.000 It's not even really, it's a jalopy, it's a patched together piece of shit of a childhood when your parents are divorced.

01:41:08.000 So, I mean, you're still parenting, I guess, but that doesn't really count.

01:41:12.000 So, yeah, stay together, make babies, party if you want to party.

01:41:18.000 But as we've learned from Pauly Shore and Liz Plank and publicity, like these women are fucking miserable because they fucked up. 1.00

01:41:27.000 Partying isn't that great.

01:41:29.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:41:31.000 Thanks, Kevin.

01:41:32.000 Thanks for calling.

01:41:35.000 Now we got this bloke.

01:41:38.000 Scott wants to talk about big fucking tits. 1.00

01:41:43.000 Someone sent me a video of Ava Devine being throat fucked, and it's very distracting.

01:41:51.000 Hey, bro.

01:41:52.000 Whoa.

01:41:53.000 Hello.

01:41:56.000 Bro, hey, I got this idea yesterday, and I thought it would be a great idea.

01:42:01.000 Are you calling from the apocalypse?

01:42:03.000 Yeah, what's it like over there, sir?

01:42:06.000 It's hot.

01:42:07.000 It's very hot.

01:42:08.000 We can't hear you.

01:42:10.000 Yeah, it sounds like shit.

01:42:11.000 All right, one sec.

01:42:12.000 Let me try taking it off the headset.

01:42:17.000 How's that?

01:42:19.000 A little better.

01:42:20.000 A little better.

01:42:21.000 A little shitty.

01:42:23.000 Okay, I was thinking about a show with about big fucking tits where some dudes sit around and they talk about shit at the bar, you know, like, hey, you see that chick over there? 1.00

01:42:35.000 Yeah, I fucked her last night. 1.00

01:42:38.000 Starring Elliot Page and Chaz Bono.

01:42:43.000 Okay, that's a funny idea.

01:42:45.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:42:46.000 We can't hear you.

01:42:46.000 It's all staticky and shitty.

01:42:48.000 Sorry, sure.

01:42:55.000 Okay, we got 847 on the line.

01:43:00.000 Hello.

01:43:01.000 Can you hear me?

01:43:02.000 What's going on, buddy?

01:43:04.000 How's it going, buddy?

01:43:06.000 Oh, my gosh.

01:43:07.000 What is cooking up the old chimney, pal?

01:43:12.000 I don't know.

01:43:13.000 Just a little carry, and you know.

01:43:16.000 But anyway, I had serious questions for you.

01:43:18.000 I'm going to cut the shit.

01:43:21.000 I was curious about how your wife and your mom react to the anti-Femite talk.

01:43:29.000 My wife doesn't watch this show. 1.00

01:43:30.000 I agree with you.

01:43:32.000 My wife doesn't watch this show at all. 1.00

01:43:35.000 My mom has brought it up a couple of times where she goes, you know, you talk about women in the workforce and you say that I stayed home, but as soon as you started going to school, I was employed.

01:43:46.000 I was like, no, really?

01:43:47.000 You were like a teacher, so you could come home when it was time for me to come home.

01:43:52.000 I wasn't a latchkey child like all my friends were.

01:43:56.000 But she objects a lot, but you know, she gets it.

01:44:00.000 I think my anti-Femite stuff is ultimately kind of feminist, and most women that watch this show appreciate it, because I'm not saying you're too stupid to be in the workforce.

01:44:10.000 I'm saying you tend not to belong.

01:44:12.000 It's like women in fucking combat sports. 1.00

01:44:15.000 Now, d are women offended when you say you shouldn't be fighting Mike Tyson or you shouldn't be at rallies like Heather Heyer was? 1.00

01:44:24.000 I don't think normal women are offended by that. 1.00

01:44:27.000 And that's why I always make it clear to call them shit chests and not normal women. 1.00

01:44:32.000 Like the kindergarten teachers we had when we were kids, they were nice ladies who said boys will be boys. 1.00

01:44:38.000 They were wonderful, loving human beings.

01:44:40.000 It's this twisted, shitty robot that we have now.

01:44:45.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:44:46.000 Yeah, I agree with that.

01:44:47.000 I do worry sometimes, though, like if my daughter ever sees this show, that she's going to think that I don't think that she can be whatever she wants to be.

01:44:54.000 And I want to be clear here.

01:44:56.000 Best prime minister Britain ever had was Margaret Atwood.

01:45:04.000 Margaret Thatcher.

01:45:05.000 Sorry.

01:45:07.000 Yeah, so some of my, I don't think women can write, but my favorite writers are women. 1.00

01:45:13.000 There's things called exceptions to the rules.

01:45:15.000 So if you're determined to be the greatest female oncologist in the world, all the power to you. 0.77

01:45:22.000 I'm just saying, most women are kidding themselves when they take on these male roles. 0.99

01:45:28.000 Here's one.

01:45:29.000 Mr. Kevin, you're incredulous with Thomas Sowell's Black Rednecks. 1.00

01:45:33.000 You suggested that Sowell hasn't read Albion Seed, and it has nothing to do with the South.

01:45:39.000 Sir, I've read it, have you?

01:45:41.000 There's a whole section called Borderlands to the Back Country about the Scotch-Irish and border culture and how it influenced Virginia and Southern culture.

01:45:52.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

01:45:58.000 He's got you there, Gavin.

01:46:01.000 And another thing, too.

01:46:03.000 You thought you made a mistake before when you said Margaret Atwood.

01:46:08.000 But let me riddle you this, big guy.

01:46:11.000 Did you ever see a picture of them side to side?

01:46:14.000 Have you?

01:46:15.000 No.

01:46:15.000 Have you ever seen them in the same room?

01:46:19.000 No.

01:46:20.000 That's the same person.

01:46:22.000 Holy shit.

01:46:24.000 They're micro.

01:46:24.000 I have no idea.

01:46:25.000 Yep.

01:46:26.000 Well, Margaret Atwood does a really good British accent. 0.92

01:46:29.000 It's a clever trick.

01:46:30.000 It's like the Clark Kent.

01:46:32.000 Like, he just makes his hair different, and you think it's a different person.

01:46:37.000 We're not fooled.

01:46:39.000 No, I have to address this, though.

01:46:42.000 You're right.

01:46:43.000 I only read the first quarter of Albion Seed and I found it really boring.

01:46:47.000 I also gave up because I thought, why am I reading about just the Northeasts?

01:46:52.000 I care more about Scots and the South and stuff.

01:46:56.000 So I guess I abandoned the book before I got to the part.

01:46:58.000 But then I read a whole review about it, and I thought it didn't say anything about the South.

01:47:04.000 So I was wrong.

01:47:05.000 I fucked up.

01:47:06.000 I would like to hereby professionally apologize to Mr. Soul.

01:47:12.000 Okay?

01:47:13.000 You got me.

01:47:14.000 I fucked up.

01:47:15.000 I was wrong.

01:47:17.000 You know, they used to call me Mr. Soul in high school.

01:47:21.000 What happened?

01:47:21.000 I was Asian.

01:47:23.000 Let's take some more calls here.

01:47:25.000 I feel bad we pushed the calls till so late.

01:47:28.000 We got 331.

01:47:31.000 You're on the line.

01:47:34.000 Amazing.

01:47:35.000 Amazing.

01:47:36.000 Beta! 0.86

01:47:38.000 I know.

01:47:39.000 Beta.

01:47:40.000 I know it's kind of aching a Chinese secret, but I remember Gavin talking about one of the shows about everyone wearing ski masks and whatnot.

01:47:49.000 And Ryan, you're actually right.

01:47:51.000 They are Balaklavas. 1.00

01:47:52.000 I live here in Chicago, and especially in the rap scene and all that, everyone just loves wearing the face mask because I guess it was popularized by this rapper Poosh Icy.

01:48:04.000 And now everyone wears the ski mask.

01:48:06.000 And there's even rappers now that are associating it with their image, just like wearing the ski mask.

01:48:11.000 So you walk down the street and you see everyone, well, not like everyone, but all these pretty much mainly black people and ghetto people just wearing ski masks because they think it's like cool. 0.98

01:48:25.000 I guess it's like a trend now, but yeah.

01:48:27.000 It looks so fucking stupid, it drives me insane.

01:48:31.000 That trend, like who knew, who knew saggy jeans would be the least of our worries?

01:48:37.000 Those retarded eyelashes that are not just black, that's everywhere now. 0.99

01:48:42.000 The black shower caps that we see on the plane, and now this, with just showing this part of your face, it's embarrassing.

01:48:54.000 You look like you just took your helmet off from an F-14 fighter jet and you're wondering what is going on with the fuel injection.

01:49:02.000 But you're getting a jacket out of the trunk.

01:49:06.000 I fucking hate it.

01:49:08.000 Anyway, thanks for calling, sir.

01:49:11.000 So this is again with the predominant theme of tonight's show.

01:49:15.000 Gavin, you're the reason for my happiness.

01:49:17.000 I'll try to condense the story behind my gratitude.

01:49:19.000 A few years back, I was a cringe liberal feminist. 1.00

01:49:21.000 This is from a woman.

01:49:24.000 I overheard my boyfriend listening to JuML.

01:49:27.000 I thought you were funny and interesting, but you pissed me off with some comments you made about divorce.

01:49:31.000 I'm divorced.

01:49:33.000 When I realized the reason for this was that I actually agreed with you, I went to seek similar uncomfortable truths.

01:49:39.000 Part of that involved consuming nearly all of your content.

01:49:42.000 While this was happening, I noticed your name often paired with white supremacists.

01:49:46.000 And of course, the Proud Boys paired with Hate Group in the media and various posts written by people I respect and trusted.

01:49:52.000 I was surprised.

01:49:53.000 If I had listened to you talk for hundreds of hours, wouldn't I pick up on any Nazi vibes, however subtle?

01:49:58.000 How could people I previously thought of as intelligent make those accusations with such confidence when they clearly hadn't done any critical thinking to get there?

01:50:08.000 Thus began my journey away from the left.

01:50:11.000 I actually met Ryan a while back when I was in town for work and I came to the studio on a night you weren't there.

01:50:18.000 I think I could have met you at karaoke afterward, but missed you due to timing, if I recall correctly, your wife said I look like Selena Gomez.

01:50:27.000 So wait, my wife was out partying with you guys doing karaoke and I wasn't there?

01:50:31.000 I don't think she met your wife.

01:50:35.000 Oh wait.

01:50:36.000 No.

01:50:38.000 That was the night you, me, and Tony and their missuses did a karaoke.

01:50:44.000 No, Detective Shitty's wrong again.

01:50:47.000 Oh, wait.

01:50:47.000 I do remember my wife going out with Proud Boys, and I couldn't be there for some reason.

01:50:53.000 I think I was out of town completely, like in another city.

01:50:57.000 And I set up the meet.

01:51:00.000 Interesting.

01:51:01.000 Yeah.

01:51:02.000 But I know her.

01:51:02.000 She's really cool, really smart.

01:51:05.000 But incredibly overweight.

01:51:08.000 She is a huge, disgusting beast. 1.00

01:51:11.000 But smart.

01:51:14.000 Fast forward a bit.

01:51:15.000 Not smart about her food choices, though.

01:51:17.000 Yeah.

01:51:18.000 Just smart reading everything but the menu.

01:51:22.000 Not the nutritional facts.

01:51:24.000 That's for sure.

01:51:26.000 Fast forward a bit.

01:51:27.000 I joined the Gavin McKinnon Discord after the MA you did and ended up meeting the guy I'm currently engaged to.

01:51:31.000 Congratulations.

01:51:33.000 Congratulations.

01:51:36.000 Let me just ask my ass what it thinks. 0.85

01:51:43.000 Congratulations.

01:51:44.000 That's butt cheeks for congratulations. 0.98

01:51:46.000 That's Nazi buns for congratulations. 0.99

01:51:48.000 I'll even kiss the men.

01:51:51.000 You rescued me from the circus and brought me to the land of logic.

01:51:53.000 You helped me embrace my femininity and find fulfillment in my God-given purpose of being a wife and mother.

01:52:00.000 Without you, I wouldn't be getting remarried next year to a man who shares my values and is capable of leading a family.

01:52:08.000 I am eternally grateful.

01:52:10.000 I know this sounds corny, but I cannot tell you how many letters I have like this.

01:52:15.000 And people, every time I talk to a journalist, they're like, are you going to take any ownership for the violent rhetoric you said and how so many proud boys are in jail?

01:52:25.000 Don't you wish you had not started this whole thing in the first place?

01:52:28.000 If you were never born, those guys wouldn't be in jail.

01:52:32.000 I'm like, okay, thanks.

01:52:33.000 I got you.

01:52:34.000 But I couldn't tell you the hundreds and hundreds of letters I get from people saying, thank you for telling me to put a ring on it.

01:52:41.000 Thank you for getting me away from video games.

01:52:43.000 Thank you for telling me to get in shape.

01:52:45.000 Thank you for telling me to stop being a fucking loser and begin my adult life.

01:52:49.000 Thank you for telling me to stop wearing shirts that say stupid shit on them and wearing, dressing like an adult.

01:52:57.000 Yeah, be like, how many lives have you literally created in babies?

01:53:01.000 Yeah.

01:53:01.000 You know?

01:53:02.000 Yeah.

01:53:03.000 I've created your baby.

01:53:04.000 Yeah.

01:53:05.000 You went from the godfather of hipsterdom to just the godfather.

01:53:09.000 No, I went from the godfather of hipster to the father.

01:53:12.000 Period.

01:53:14.000 I'm also enraged at the incompetence of your employee.

01:53:17.000 Excuse you?

01:53:18.000 You?

01:53:19.000 Me?

01:53:19.000 I won a box of meat last year when I called into the live show, and despite numerous reminders, I'm still meatless.

01:53:25.000 You know what?

01:53:26.000 I passed that.

01:53:26.000 I did my part.

01:53:28.000 Okay, but I'm angry for you now because if it was in my hands, I would just send you a...

01:53:34.000 Well, fucking.

01:53:35.000 Rachel, if you'll allow me to apologize, the guy did die.

01:53:42.000 Like, Bubba and Hanks were our meat suppliers, and Bubba croaked.

01:53:47.000 So I'm sorry if he didn't do a great job of supplying you with meat, but I think they were still getting orders after, and it wasn't an easy cleanup there.

01:53:55.000 It's not like one of the fry guys at McDonald's died.

01:53:59.000 Ronald McDonald died.

01:54:01.000 Yeah.

01:54:03.000 I'm still meatless.

01:54:04.000 Well, I found another meat in the sense that I've bought other meats since then, and I haven't been a vegetarian.

01:54:09.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:54:11.000 Your number one baby monster.

01:54:13.000 Oh.

01:54:14.000 Self-dubbed.

01:54:15.000 Wow.

01:54:22.000 All right.

01:54:23.000 We got five minutes left.

01:54:24.000 Let's cram in as many calls and live chats as we can.

01:54:27.000 All right, fucking Robert.

01:54:28.000 What's up, Rob?

01:54:32.000 We're doing a super speed mega call.

01:54:35.000 We're going to get through 11 calls in five minutes.

01:54:38.000 Rob, are you there?

01:54:39.000 Yo, what's going on?

01:54:41.000 Nobody, what's up?

01:54:43.000 Hey.

01:54:44.000 About the 12-year-old killing herself and her cousin, what actually happened is she actually accidentally killed her cousin.

01:54:55.000 And when she realized that she just murdered someone, she killed herself on purpose.

01:55:01.000 Yeah, that's what everyone says.

01:55:03.000 But I looked at the video, and it looks like the second shot is immediately after the first shot.

01:55:08.000 Bang, bang. 0.99

01:55:09.000 No, no, no.

01:55:11.000 It wasn't immediately after.

01:55:13.000 There was a good, like, three seconds before that where she collapses to the ground, then she, like, offs herself. 0.98

01:55:22.000 But yeah, there's been a couple of articles about it, and they're all saying the same thing, that it was an accidental killing, and then, you know, she.

01:55:31.000 All right, well, thanks for calling.

01:55:32.000 We got the timing off on the gun shot.

01:55:35.000 I don't know, though.

01:55:36.000 I listened.

01:55:36.000 I didn't hear that second shot.

01:55:38.000 I heard the bonk bonk, but who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:55:40.000 And everyone says it was an accident.

01:55:43.000 Well, no.

01:55:44.000 They're little kids, 12 and 13, and they're smoking pot, posing with guns.

01:55:49.000 The accident happened way before the accident happened.

01:55:52.000 Yes, go ahead, please, call her.

01:55:54.000 Hey, can you hear me, Gavin?

01:55:56.000 Yes.

01:55:57.000 All right, cool.

01:55:59.000 First thing is, Gavin, you're hilarious, man.

01:56:02.000 When you're talking about the 460-pound Malaysian bodybuilder, I was like, how is Gavin not completely destroyed this man for marrying her right off the bat? 0.87

01:56:11.000 The second thing is I figured out Ruth Gator Binsberg.

01:56:14.000 Yeah, you don't get a second thing.

01:56:16.000 Sorry.

01:56:16.000 Thanks for calling.

01:56:17.000 You blew your first thing on compliments.

01:56:20.000 Anyway, next caller, please.

01:56:22.000 Sorry, sir.

01:56:23.000 Try again next time.

01:56:24.000 You've made the mistake that a thousand before you have made.

01:56:27.000 Hey, stop kissing ass, Faggot. 1.00

01:56:29.000 You're such a woman.

01:56:29.000 I was buying time.

01:56:32.000 I don't know where it's going.

01:56:34.000 So here's some cash for the Kinsman show at Central Illinois.

01:56:36.000 This is actually going to Joe Biggs.

01:56:38.000 Yes.

01:56:39.000 We have a year left with Max and John.

01:56:41.000 So we'll really be ramping up the fundraising for them.

01:56:44.000 Yep.

01:56:45.000 And now we're going to have.

01:56:46.000 Fuck it.

01:56:46.000 Don't.

01:56:47.000 Fuck it.

01:56:48.000 Don't suck it.

01:56:49.000 Okay.

01:56:51.000 Fuck it.

01:56:51.000 Don't suck it.

01:56:52.000 Thanks for calling.

01:56:53.000 That's a shirt.

01:56:54.000 Next caller.

01:56:55.000 Sorry, you already used your thing.

01:56:57.000 Be very careful.

01:56:58.000 Yeah, one thing.

01:56:59.000 We have fucking three minutes left.

01:57:01.000 Next call.

01:57:02.000 207.

01:57:03.000 207.

01:57:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:57:04.000 Hi, guys.

01:57:04.000 Yeah, I called about the JFK assassination.

01:57:07.000 I heard you guys talking about it with Anthony.

01:57:09.000 One of the best theories I've ever heard is the best thing about this.

01:57:14.000 You can kind of keep the stuff about the mafia and whatever else you want to keep.

01:57:19.000 But one of the things that happened, or one of the things that people think happened, is, and it's a great book by, and this is not a fake name.

01:57:26.000 His name's Bonner Man.

01:57:27.000 Stop interrupting yourself.

01:57:31.000 What?

01:57:32.000 You keep interrupting yourself.

01:57:33.000 And this is a theory, and it's not a theory that you have to have.

01:57:36.000 It's also a book.

01:57:37.000 It's a great book.

01:57:40.000 Tell us.

01:57:41.000 The thing is, Lee Harvey Oswald fired a shot.

01:57:44.000 He did hit JFK one time, but the Secret Service is all getting wasted the night before at a strip club or something in Dallas.

01:57:51.000 And they had like a B squad up for the motorcade.

01:57:57.000 And when the shot went down, everything went down, they freaked out.

01:58:00.000 One of the Secret Service agents named George Hickey actually accidentally shot JFK in the back of the head.

01:58:06.000 And this guy named Donnie, he would spend his life researching it, doing all the ballistic stuff, the forensic stuff.

01:58:13.000 And there's a really good documentary called JFK The Smoking Gun.

01:58:17.000 If you have any time to look it up.

01:58:19.000 He's right.

01:58:20.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:58:21.000 Interesting theory.

01:58:22.000 I think I did hear something about that.

01:58:24.000 The guy's name is funny, though.

01:58:26.000 Bonner Meninger.

01:58:28.000 What do you got in your pants?

01:58:30.000 That's a Bonnermeninger. 1.00

01:58:33.000 Infiltrate 60, you're on the lean.

01:58:37.000 And on the line.

01:58:38.000 You're on both.

01:58:39.000 You're on the lean.

01:58:40.000 G-Dog.

01:58:41.000 Hey, man.

01:58:42.000 G-Dog, my guy.

01:58:44.000 One minute left.

01:58:45.000 What's up, dude?

01:58:47.000 Hey, I lived down the street from where the Proud Boys were.

01:58:52.000 I saw them.

01:58:53.000 I didn't know anything that they're Proud Boys.

01:58:56.000 I wish I did.

01:58:56.000 I would have yelled a Huru or a fucking the bird which is.

01:59:01.000 Where are you talking about?

01:59:02.000 Long Island?

01:59:04.000 No, Enfield.

01:59:06.000 Oh, really?

01:59:08.000 Yeah, well, if you're in Enfield, go by that place and say, what's going on here?

01:59:15.000 Don't get violent.

01:59:16.000 Don't harass any of that stuff, obviously.

01:59:18.000 But just say, I don't understand.

01:59:20.000 Like, I want them to know how many people are confused by this shit.

01:59:25.000 Oh, you should have seen the bashing people were doing on Facebook on the local forum.

01:59:30.000 All these people with fucking dog pictures, anime pictures, none of their faces.

01:59:36.000 It's insane.

01:59:37.000 What, bashing Proud Boys for daring to donate 800 pounds of food?

01:59:43.000 Yes.

01:59:44.000 It's insane.

01:59:46.000 It's clownware world.

01:59:48.000 Fucking clownwear.

01:59:49.000 Sorry?

01:59:49.000 Can't say it anymore.

01:59:51.000 Like, I don't understand.

01:59:52.000 So what's their argument?

01:59:54.000 You're trying to launder your image.

01:59:56.000 It's not going to work, assholes.

01:59:58.000 You guys are fascist neo-Nazis.

02:00:01.000 You know, the regular, the regular bullshit.

02:00:04.000 But now they're saying they're going to donate to make up for the bullshit that they threw out.

02:00:10.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:00:11.000 I heard that.

02:00:12.000 So the liberals, and I talked to one of the Proud Boys involved tonight about that, and he goes, okay, so the only way we can get you liberals to donate anything to the poor is when we do it, and then you want to outdo us just to spite us.

02:00:26.000 Okay.

02:00:27.000 Poor people are getting fed.

02:00:28.000 At least we got some money raised, you fucking dunces.

02:00:32.000 All right, thanks for calling.

02:00:33.000 Seriously.

02:00:34.000 And on that note, I'm on my way to California holiday.

02:00:36.000 I will try to visit Mercedes.

02:00:38.000 She's in Rancho Cucamunga, San Bernardino.

02:00:42.000 We've been writing each other letters.

02:00:43.000 Oh, good.

02:00:43.000 Okay.

02:00:44.000 Also writing letters to John Kay.

02:00:45.000 Isn't that great?

02:00:46.000 Yeah, that's fantastic.

02:00:47.000 That guy had a great How Dare You Media YouTube video that he just put a compilation of The War on Kids.

02:00:53.000 Check that out.

02:00:54.000 Here is 500 bucks for a crow where we live in where Biggs, a national hero.

02:00:58.000 He's literally a national hero, by the way.

02:01:00.000 He has two purple hearts.

02:01:01.000 His Humvee blew up.

02:01:03.000 He went over a landmine or a, sorry, an IUD, no, IED over there.

02:01:10.000 This guy is not just plucked out of nowhere.

02:01:13.000 Yet Ryan gets to rock out on YouTube for an audience of eight each day as a free man.

02:01:18.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:01:19.000 Sometimes there's 13.

02:01:20.000 If we could do anything, we would switch places with Ryan.

02:01:22.000 I wouldn't.

02:01:23.000 And Biggs.

02:01:24.000 But we do want to thank you for the...

02:01:27.000 $500 is not a...

02:01:29.000 Thank you.

02:01:29.000 That's a great donation.

02:01:31.000 All right, folks.

02:01:32.000 See you soon.

02:01:33.000 See you Monday.

02:01:34.000 Got plenty of surprises to fill in the hole on my Friday absence.

02:01:39.000 And Tuesday, we're going to go pick up that jag.

02:01:41.000 So we'll make sure we make it fun for you.

02:01:43.000 New episode of Car Guys.

02:01:45.000 It's been a while.

02:01:46.000 I'm going to put up all my old free speech podcasts on the site, as well as a little documentary I did with the punk band Crass about the murder, state overreach murder that inspired them.

02:02:02.000 Anyway.

02:02:04.000 Uh-oh.

02:02:04.000 I thought you promised to suck off a piece of shit when someone donated $100 and had something to do with the prostitute doing the same delicious act.

02:02:11.000 Hmm.

02:02:11.000 That doesn't ring a bell for me.

02:02:12.000 That doesn't ring a bell.

02:02:13.000 I wouldn't.

02:02:14.000 How does that, the glass of bourbon, with Ryan then?

02:02:17.000 Yeah.

02:02:18.000 Okay, guys.

02:02:19.000 So maybe, Ryan, you can keep those running.

02:02:21.000 How many do you have left of those?

02:02:22.000 Two more.

02:02:23.000 Okay, so you're gonna have to get shampoo.

02:02:25.000 And I'm gonna say, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:02:46.000 And you can see it everywhere, the famine and the fear.

02:02:50.000 The doubt and the drone, perspiration and the fear.

02:02:53.000 And you can see it all around.

02:02:55.000 The massacres abound.

02:02:57.000 Dead bodies all around.

02:02:58.000 The tragedies abound.

02:03:00.000 Missing persons are found.

02:03:02.000 The fatas get the drone. 0.64

02:03:03.000 New down there will be found.

02:03:07.000 The eagle and the fear of people living in fear of impending nuclear warfare.

02:03:13.000 But as a matter of fact, believe it or not, plenty people don't care whether it's imminent or not.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 01, 2022

GOML LIVE #142 - NAZI BUNS

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