Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #142 - NAZI BUNS (Part 1)


Summary

The Eagle and the Bear of people living in fear of nuclear war. Gavin McInnes talks about The Clash s iconic song England Is a Bitch and how it was written by a Jamaican immigrant from Jamaica named Linton Kwesi Johnson, who was a pioneer of anti-colonialism and anti-British sentiment in the 60s and 70s. He also talks about the early days of the Ska movement in Jamaica, and how the band helped pave the way for punk and reggae music in the UK. And he talks about how the Clash s song, England is a bitch, was written and recorded by a man who came from a poor, poor background, and became one of the most influential musicians of his time. Get Off My Lawn is out now on all good podcast directories, if you search for it, you'll find us. Get off my lawn if you like what you hear, and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! Get on my lawn! P.S. Don't forget to leave us a review and tell us what you thought of this episode in the comments section below! If you liked it, we'd love to hear your thoughts on the episode and what you think of it! We'll be listening to it in the next week's episode of the podcast, and we'll be looking out for the next episode of Get On My Lawn! Subscribe to the podcast on Anchor.fm/GetOffMyLawn Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices and become a supporter of The Eagle and The Bear of People Living in Fear. Thank you for supporting The Eagle by Gavgan Subscribe at gavgan.me/The Bear of Fear is a podcast about The Eagle & The Bear and The Eagle/The Eagle/ The Bear by The Bear/ The Dragon of People living in Fear at Gavgave Me a chance to be featured on next week s episode of Gav's new show on the new podcast Get On His Lawn on Gav s Gave Me My Lawn Gav talks about his new album, Gavbie's new book, Geezer & the Bear. Gav has a book out now out now! . Gav is out on all of the social media platforms Gav gives out free copies of his new book Gav got out in the world!


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:24.000 The eagle and the pair of people living in fear of impending nuclear warfare.
00:00:25.000 But as a matter of fact, believe it or not, plenty people don't care whether it imminent or not.
00:00:27.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:29.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:30.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:32.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:33.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:34.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:36.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:37.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:38.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:40.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:41.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:42.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:44.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:45.000 First going to attack with the human race about survival or not.
00:00:47.000 First going to
00:00:50.000 Fucking guy, man!
00:01:12.000 Linton Kwesi Johnson, yet another yardie, an immigrant from Jamaica to England after the mass diaspora, the exodus of 69.
00:01:23.000 Jamaica declared independence and said fuck you England and five years later said yo England wagwan!
00:01:33.000 Would you mind if I came ashore, you know?
00:01:36.000 Oh, what happened to your little island?
00:01:37.000 Yeah.
00:01:39.000 I kinda... It's not as good since you left.
00:01:43.000 Oh.
00:01:44.000 Okay.
00:01:45.000 Yeah, come over.
00:01:46.000 You like soccer and Guinness.
00:01:47.000 You're part of the club already.
00:01:49.000 You'll blend in nicely.
00:01:50.000 There was a couple riots, like the cover of the Clash album.
00:01:54.000 Right?
00:01:56.000 The guns of Brixton and all that.
00:01:58.000 But, um... They did pretty well.
00:02:02.000 And then you have emigrates like Lynton Quasey Johnson, unlike the specials and all the great ska bands.
00:02:11.000 Um, Linton Kwesi Johnson did a new kind of assimilation.
00:02:16.000 He's actually a pioneer for this kind of assimilation, which is, I'm going to bitch and gripe about this country, and you people will love it.
00:02:24.000 And it's true.
00:02:25.000 Americans, Brits, Europeans, Westerners love shitting on their country.
00:02:31.000 And they love it when you come here and go, this place sucks.
00:02:35.000 So one of his biggest hits of course was England is a bitch bitch bitch.
00:02:40.000 There's no escape in it England is a bitch for true as you have white his whole white band like so true
00:02:52.000 Sonny's letter was all about the police and how evil they are and they beat up this kid and he's in jail now.
00:02:57.000 And then that song, what do you got there?
00:03:00.000 England is a bitch.
00:03:01.000 So he's a poet, right?
00:03:03.000 The band was all supplied by the country he hates.
00:03:08.000 England is a bitch.
00:03:10.000 There's no escape in it.
00:03:12.000 Okay, then leave!
00:03:15.000 That's got to be fun to talk that way though.
00:03:21.000 That's what I would do if I, I don't know, had nothing but free time and no family and no studio and no show and was forced to do this at gunpoint.
00:03:30.000 I want to do a documentary about Puerto Rican Spanish.
00:03:34.000 Glaswegian English, Jamaican English.
00:03:36.000 Actually, that's not a good triad, is it?
00:03:40.000 Jamaican English, Glaswegian English, and it had to be another English.
00:03:45.000 Like maybe deep, deep south.
00:03:47.000 It couldn't be black either.
00:03:48.000 You already covered black with Jamaicans.
00:03:50.000 Some other weird English, but I love the bastardization of language.
00:03:56.000 It's interesting to me.
00:03:57.000 But anyway, that song, the eagle and the bear of people living in fear, is where we're at now, right?
00:04:04.000 The eagle, America, and the bear, Russia, we're living in fear of an impending nuclear warfare.
00:04:10.000 You can rhyme fear and fair in Jamaica.
00:04:15.000 And the funny part about his version of events is, why are you so worried about a nuclear war?
00:04:21.000 We're living in hell now.
00:04:23.000 There is annihilation and poverty everywhere in this shithole called England.
00:04:28.000 But I kind of, it's very relevant today.
00:04:33.000 I mean, I kind of agree with him in many ways.
00:04:35.000 Why are you worrying about nuclear annihilation when we're dealing with this brutal economy and we've got pedophile teachers?
00:04:45.000 And we've got fucking oil prices through the roof, and unemployment, and nothing can get done, and the supply chain is all fucked, and we've sort of lost our hubris, and we're in a national divorce where one side hates the other, and fucking Proud Boys up in Connecticut, what was the name of the town?
00:05:05.000 Check my getter.
00:05:06.000 They just did a food drive.
00:05:08.000 They got 800 pounds of food.
00:05:11.000 Cans, chips, everything.
00:05:14.000 Donated it to Loaves and Fish Shelter food service thingamajiggy for the homeless They said thank you so much for bringing this then some cunt journalist I think I may have caught him calls them up and goes you know that's from Proud Boys, right?
00:05:34.000 And they go no.
00:05:35.000 Thank you.
00:05:35.000 It's garbage Dude, what are you doing?
00:05:38.000 That's like from a hundred years ago
00:05:41.000 What the hell?
00:05:45.000 And so they've refused it.
00:05:46.000 And Proud Boys go, what are you doing?
00:05:48.000 You're not going to take our donation?
00:05:51.000 Yeah, Einfeld, Connecticut.
00:05:54.000 Loaves and Fishes.
00:05:55.000 So go down one.
00:05:58.000 This woman, presumably an affirmative action hire, Maya Nicole Matthews.
00:06:03.000 She gets the job to run Loaves, what's it called?
00:06:07.000 Loaves and Fish?
00:06:08.000 Go up one.
00:06:11.000 Yep, loaves and fishes right obviously a biblical reference, and she says no doesn't that mean first of all she's making her own career and Political aspirations she's putting that above the people the homeless people there who I presume are disproportionately black That's the pattern in the country, so she's putting her own fucking politics above poor people getting food and
00:06:34.000 Isn't that a violation of their 501c?
00:06:36.000 Are you not a non-profit anymore if you're making it political?
00:06:39.000 Because that's political.
00:06:41.000 Now the fact that she's wrong isn't that relevant.
00:06:44.000 Should you be analyzing the politics of the people who donate?
00:06:48.000 What if they were Nazis?
00:06:50.000 If I'm starving, you can feed me Nazi buns.
00:06:58.000 Is that a good name for a band, Nazi Buns?
00:06:59.000 Yes, I was just thinking, I was trying to work some pun.
00:07:04.000 What if that was the chapter, what if like in the history books and Wikipedia one day they were like, and then the Nazis actually started coming around.
00:07:10.000 They started donating food to disproportionately black homeless people.
00:07:14.000 Well that's the other thing, like I don't want to get in the weeds of why she's wrong to call them that.
00:07:19.000 Right.
00:07:20.000 That's a waste of time, that's so two years ago.
00:07:23.000 But, uh, yeah, if you do want to get in the weeds, why would Nazis be donating to, uh, black people, Mexican people?
00:07:31.000 I mean, if they were Nazis, they'd have a caveat, right?
00:07:34.000 That says this is just for whites.
00:07:35.000 Right.
00:07:36.000 Or it's like shit that only white people would like.
00:07:39.000 Like, I don't know.
00:07:40.000 Like what?
00:07:40.000 Jell-O?
00:07:41.000 What do only white people eat?
00:07:43.000 Everyone else goes, what the fuck?
00:07:45.000 You crazy motherfucker!
00:07:47.000 Shortbread?
00:07:48.000 Please write in with your... Yeah.
00:07:50.000 BLTs?
00:07:52.000 No, I think they've ever seen a black guy of a BLT.
00:07:55.000 I've never really seen black people eating a BLT, but They some of them do hate pork, right?
00:08:02.000 Well, yeah, that's not as common as it is on TV though anyway
00:08:07.000 So, I don't know, I thought it was funny that... Oh, I'm sorry.
00:08:11.000 That song is so prescient and it also is one of my favorite subjects.
00:08:14.000 Amen, great.
00:08:15.000 I want you to call up... Now, don't be racist with that woman and do something stupid like, you fucking black bitch.
00:08:20.000 Then you're just justifying.
00:08:22.000 That's right up her alley.
00:08:24.000 But I think, and I did this, I think you should call her and go, so what's going on here?
00:08:29.000 You check the political affiliations of your donors and you deny them food?
00:08:35.000 There was 800 pounds of food there yesterday.
00:08:38.000 And they said, if you don't come and pick this up, we're throwing it in the garbage.
00:08:43.000 Poor people are there going, could I have a nibble?
00:08:46.000 And then I talked to some people, there's a rumor going around, this hasn't been validated, but there's a rumor going around that
00:08:53.000 Plowboys waited outside and said, fine, fuck you, we'll just feed them as they come in for help.
00:08:58.000 And they were like, uh, no thank you.
00:09:00.000 And I think, and I have it by good authority, that the homeless people were told, if you accept any food from those Nazis, you're never coming here again.
00:09:11.000 So they're like, sorry, I can't eat, sorry.
00:09:15.000 Go back, what's her name?
00:09:17.000 Maya Matthews.
00:09:20.000 Mrs. Matthews?
00:09:22.000 What a cunt.
00:09:24.000 With a nose ring.
00:09:25.000 Yeah.
00:09:26.000 How old are you, man?
00:09:27.000 You don't have to say, I agree with this group and everything they do.
00:09:30.000 When you get asked by the journalist or whatever, you just go, it's not my job to get into the political affiliations of the donors.
00:09:38.000 That's not what we do here.
00:09:40.000 We're a Christian organization that's here to help the poor.
00:09:42.000 I'm not going to do a, what do they call it?
00:09:47.000 An audit.
00:09:48.000 I'm not going to do an ethical audit on everyone who walks in the door.
00:09:51.000 I don't have time.
00:09:56.000 By the way, one of the journalists, I said to him, the guy who wrote that article, I said to him,
00:10:06.000 I said, you ready for this?
00:10:09.000 Here's the article here.
00:10:10.000 Why isn't it displaying?
00:10:11.000 Do you get this?
00:10:12.000 On journalenquirer.com.
00:10:14.000 What it doesn't display?
00:10:16.000 Yeah, I said, you don't find it kind of unusual that a black woman is denying and then I put in brackets, presumably disproportionately, black people food?
00:10:26.000 And he goes, he goes, what would make you assume, presume that?
00:10:33.000 So he's baiting me like I'm gonna say something racist like, well black people are always hungrier.
00:10:37.000 I don't know what the fuck he's trying to make me say.
00:10:40.000 Black people say it themselves.
00:10:42.000 They complain about that all the time.
00:10:44.000 I go, oh cute, you're acting coy so I'll say something racist.
00:10:47.000 How totally not an activist and totally a journalist of you.
00:10:50.000 First of all, we didn't bring identity politics into this.
00:10:52.000 You and Maya did.
00:10:54.000 I'm just explaining your hypocrisy using your logic.
00:10:56.000 The general pattern is blacks are overrepresented in the homeless population.
00:11:00.000 It's safe to assume this pattern rears its ugly head in your neck of the woods also.
00:11:05.000 The big picture here, however, is letting personal optics trump people getting help.
00:11:10.000 Perfectly sums up why so many people hate assholes like you.
00:11:13.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:11:14.000 Which is my new favorite thing to say.
00:11:18.000 It kind of means the end of the discussion, too, doesn't it?
00:11:20.000 Yeah.
00:11:21.000 I mean, how could you- Go fuck yourself.
00:11:22.000 You can't talk anymore if you're fucking yourself.
00:11:24.000 It's better than fuck you, I think.
00:11:26.000 Right.
00:11:27.000 Fuck you makes you sound a little vulnerable.
00:11:30.000 Like, I don't know.
00:11:32.000 Fuck you.
00:11:33.000 Right.
00:11:34.000 I'm mad.
00:11:35.000 Please go.
00:11:36.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:11:38.000 Means like you go away and I don't care what you do when you're gone away.
00:11:43.000 You're away for good.
00:11:45.000 Right.
00:11:46.000 It's better than Tucker's, uh, fuck you.
00:11:49.000 I hate you.
00:11:50.000 Yeah.
00:11:53.000 Fuck you, I hate you.
00:11:54.000 I love it.
00:11:55.000 It was my second favorite.
00:11:56.000 It was big last week.
00:11:58.000 But the problem with fuck you, I hate you is it's sort of like I'm reluctantly saying goodbye.
00:12:03.000 Fuck you.
00:12:04.000 I hate you.
00:12:06.000 It's like this revelation that I don't like you anymore and I can't believe we've come to this.
00:12:11.000 Right.
00:12:11.000 It's too vulnerable.
00:12:13.000 Yeah.
00:12:13.000 It's like I'm not even done with you.
00:12:15.000 It's announcing that I'm done with you.
00:12:16.000 It's like how you would announce divorcing your wife.
00:12:19.000 Like, I can't believe we're here after 20 years, but fuck you.
00:12:24.000 I hate you.
00:12:25.000 Fuck you.
00:12:27.000 I hate you.
00:12:28.000 I like the smile though.
00:12:30.000 That's awesome.
00:12:32.000 If you could smile and say fuck you, like- Fuck you.
00:12:35.000 I hate you.
00:12:35.000 I hate you.
00:12:36.000 And it's like refreshing, it's like- Yeah, it sounds like an abused woman who's finally had enough, and his intimidation doesn't do anything to her anymore.
00:12:46.000 So she's just like, fuck you.
00:12:50.000 I hate you.
00:12:51.000 You have no power over me.
00:12:53.000 All of that shit is vulnerable.
00:12:56.000 The beauty of go fuck yourself is it's like, I'm not even considering what you have to say.
00:13:02.000 Right.
00:13:03.000 Get out of here, go over there, and stick your dick in your ass.
00:13:07.000 Yeah, that's quite the command.
00:13:10.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:13:11.000 Right.
00:13:13.000 Yeah.
00:13:13.000 Because I'm not gonna fuck you.
00:13:15.000 You know, if I say fuck you, it's like now I'm saying fuck you.
00:13:18.000 And a way you know it's real is like,
00:13:21.000 I know I would never say it to a friend, or my wife, or my dad, or anyone that I genuinely cared about.
00:13:27.000 Ever.
00:13:27.000 I can't even imagine saying it.
00:13:29.000 If I said it to you, you'd be fired.
00:13:33.000 If I said, fuck you, I hate you, I've probably said that 20 times today.
00:13:35.000 That's how you say hello.
00:13:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:13:38.000 Like, go fuck yourself.
00:13:40.000 We're done.
00:13:42.000 By the way, for those of you not just listening to the audio, I'm sure you've tuned in and you see our baby monster shirts, I'm not happy.
00:13:50.000 These are not thrilling to me.
00:13:52.000 The thing about a cartoon shirt, especially this obtuse and ugly, is it's got to be loud.
00:14:00.000 This is way too subtle.
00:14:01.000 Now, I talked to the t-shirt guy.
00:14:03.000 He sent me these as a 50 shirt sample because, as Linton Quasey Johnson points out in The Eagle and the Beer, we already can't get t-shirts on time.
00:14:14.000 And the only, the normal silk screening printer shops are all down.
00:14:18.000 Supply is way, the few that are available, they're in way over their heads.
00:14:23.000 So we have iron-ons left.
00:14:24.000 That's all that's left.
00:14:26.000 And I'm like, iron-ons?
00:14:26.000 I remember those from the 80s.
00:14:27.000 They fall apart after one wash.
00:14:28.000 And he goes, no, technology's improved.
00:14:30.000 But the problem is they only are like 11 inches wide.
00:14:34.000 And I was like, not good enough, dude.
00:14:35.000 I want this to be like armpit to armpit, massive face.
00:14:39.000 So I'm describing the new Baby Monster shirt.
00:14:41.000 So what we'll do is we'll have these as a limited run.
00:14:45.000 50 small prints, we'll call them.
00:14:47.000 Maybe we'll spell it P-R-I-N-C-E for some dumb reason.
00:14:51.000 And then I've now ordered like the big huge ones.
00:14:55.000 Baby Monster!
00:14:57.000 Yeah.
00:14:58.000 And for those of you who are not familiar with why we are so excited about this term, Baby Monster, I think fans are gay.
00:15:07.000 And Katy Perry has kitty cats and Lady Gaga has her little monsters.
00:15:14.000 So we want to refer to the viewers and the subscribers on a regular basis.
00:15:19.000 Both those words are lame.
00:15:21.000 Fans are lame.
00:15:22.000 So let's mock.
00:15:23.000 I'm ruining the joke right now.
00:15:25.000 Let's mock all of those other clubs by pretending we're just the same.
00:15:29.000 And then, of course, Baby Monster refers to Matty O'Dell when he was in prison.
00:15:33.000 Someone stole his
00:15:35.000 What are they called?
00:15:35.000 Pornomags?
00:15:36.000 Their binder?
00:15:37.000 Their book?
00:15:38.000 Their sex book or something?
00:15:41.000 Pornomags are banned from prison, but if you have one previously, they're grandfathered in.
00:15:45.000 So they're like laminated with tape and people treat them like the Bible.
00:15:49.000 And someone stole his.
00:15:50.000 So he lost his fucking shit, he tied up his shoes tight, he tucked his pants into his socks, his shirt into his pants, and he made it very clear in the common area that whoever fucking has it is gonna get tuned up.
00:16:03.000 No matter what, and if it was given to you, I'm gonna tune you up, and then you can take it up with the guy who gave it to you.
00:16:09.000 But someone's gonna fucking die.
00:16:11.000 And he unplugged the TV and did a bunch of other shit, and was screaming at everyone.
00:16:15.000 I've seen him lose his temper a few times, it's not pretty.
00:16:18.000 And he had a friend who was a murderer in there, and later on the friend, let's pretend he's Daniel Trehouse.
00:16:25.000 Trehouse, you know that guy?
00:16:26.000 Danny Treho.
00:16:27.000 Machete.
00:16:28.000 Machete.
00:16:29.000 A machete type guy comes by, and
00:16:32.000 He says, hey man, has anybody seen my fucking baby monster around?
00:16:38.000 From then on, Matty's been known as Baby Monster.
00:16:40.000 He's got a tattoo.
00:16:41.000 So we said, perfect.
00:16:43.000 So Lady Gaga signed up and we'll describe our guys.
00:16:45.000 A lot of pushback with Baby Monsters.
00:16:48.000 They want to be called pool shitters.
00:16:50.000 We got some pool shitters still in the comments.
00:16:52.000 Absolutely not.
00:16:53.000 Women don't want to be called shitters.
00:16:54.000 Women don't shit.
00:16:56.000 So anyway, that's Baby Monster.
00:16:58.000 And speaking of Baby Monsters, where is Crip Daddy, our severely handicapped friend in the wheelchair?
00:17:04.000 Where is Sylvia, our 110-year-old sex addict?
00:17:10.000 Where is Baby Monster, our ex-con biker?
00:17:15.000 My whack pack is sick.
00:17:18.000 Crip Daddy's, I don't know, too ill to do stuff.
00:17:21.000 Actually, he's fine.
00:17:21.000 We never even asked him.
00:17:23.000 Just helps this joke.
00:17:25.000 Matty is brutally ill.
00:17:28.000 He can't get out of bed.
00:17:30.000 He's got the heart of a warrior.
00:17:36.000 No, an ex-meth head.
00:17:41.000 His heart's garbage.
00:17:41.000 It's got a defibrillator stitched into it.
00:17:44.000 It's got a heart monitor.
00:17:45.000 He's got five doctors checking their phones, constantly watching his heart move.
00:17:48.000 He's on the heart transplant list, so he has bad days.
00:17:51.000 Today's a bad day.
00:17:52.000 So my Whack-a-Pack cannot be here.
00:17:54.000 Sylvia, as you know, fell.
00:17:56.000 Syl fell.
00:17:58.000 And she cracked her hip, so she won't be here for a couple of weeks.
00:18:02.000 That's rough.
00:18:02.000 So you're gonna get a lot of gav over the next two hours, guys.
00:18:07.000 I found out white people food.
00:18:09.000 Potato salad with raisins in it.
00:18:11.000 Never had it.
00:18:12.000 So there's a big meme.
00:18:14.000 People don't get us whites!
00:18:19.000 Raisin and potato salad?
00:18:20.000 That must be like a, it must be Germanic and it must be in the deep deep Midwest.
00:18:25.000 Because that's never come across my desk.
00:18:29.000 I think it's a little, I think maybe Southern, too.
00:18:30.000 Yeah.
00:18:32.000 A little touch of the South in there.
00:18:34.000 BeardVet, veteran-owned company, our favorite sponsor, and next to Nita Fashions, of course.
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00:18:47.000 What is BeardVet?
00:18:48.000 It's two things.
00:18:49.000 It's beard grooming and coffee.
00:18:51.000 You have a big beard, your beard gets wiry.
00:18:54.000 Women don't like making out with a beard that feels like steel wool.
00:18:58.000 Get BeardVet's beard grooming tips, kit, everything.
00:19:03.000 It's not just like they have one little thing.
00:19:05.000 They have a whole beard grooming culture that you can see there on Ryan's desktop.
00:19:13.000 Um, so get that.
00:19:15.000 They've got the 15% off everyone who uses Gavin, but they also have fantastic coffee.
00:19:20.000 It's the coffee we drink here at the studio.
00:19:22.000 And I got to say the Diablo gives you a real kick boy.
00:19:26.000 Whoa.
00:19:27.000 Does that get you going in the day Diablo?
00:19:30.000 And as I keep saying, you have to get coffee, right?
00:19:33.000 Everyone needs coffee.
00:19:34.000 It's what we do.
00:19:35.000 It allegedly started the Industrial Revolution, according to Michael Pollan, who was about a hundred years off.
00:19:41.000 But why not, when you're buying this necessity, which is up there with water and electricity, make sure you get it from vets who support free speech.
00:19:53.000 That's a double whammy.
00:19:54.000 So you're supporting vets, you're supporting an American-owned business, you're supporting a vet-owned business, and you're supporting free speech.
00:20:01.000 These guys, everyone who supports us gets harassed, just so you know.
00:20:06.000 Everyone who is a sponsor for this gets attacked, they get calls.
00:20:11.000 I mean, that's kind of why I said you should call this woman from the food bank, whatever it's called.
00:20:20.000 Because they're doing it to us.
00:20:21.000 So why don't we call them back?
00:20:22.000 Don't harass her, obviously.
00:20:24.000 Just ask her why she did that.
00:20:27.000 And these guys put up with lunatics calling them all day, and they say, go fuck yourself.
00:20:32.000 Which is the best thing to say to people like that.
00:20:34.000 So go to BeardVet.com, put in the code GAVIN, 15% off, all beard grooming and coffee products.
00:20:42.000 Thank you, BeardVet.
00:20:44.000 Look at this shit, apparel.
00:20:46.000 Wait, go back.
00:20:47.000 So we've got the coffee, the apparel, cool mugs.
00:20:51.000 What else?
00:20:52.000 Beard oils, beard grooming kits.
00:20:55.000 Remember I said it's not just one little cream.
00:20:57.000 Beard grooming products.
00:21:00.000 Lots of fantastic shit there.
00:21:02.000 They got rubs.
00:21:03.000 The rubs.
00:21:04.000 What are rubs?
00:21:05.000 I think for meat, right?
00:21:06.000 Yeah.
00:21:07.000 Oh, cool.
00:21:07.000 That's new.
00:21:08.000 It's a caffeinated, it must be a caffeinated rub.
00:21:11.000 I've never tried that.
00:21:13.000 Have you ever tried a coffee rub on steak?
00:21:16.000 I don't think I had a coffee rub.
00:21:17.000 That might be a white thing.
00:21:19.000 I don't see cayenne pepper, brown sugar, range rum, coffee.
00:21:25.000 Okay, so they put their own coffee in there.
00:21:27.000 Well yeah, Ryan, I assumed it would be caffeinated when the picture on the front has tons of coffee beans.
00:21:32.000 I thought those were little bugs.
00:21:34.000 I thought those are little appetizing bugs.
00:21:34.000 Bugs.
00:21:38.000 Please be kidding.
00:21:39.000 Please.
00:21:39.000 I'm totally kidding.
00:21:40.000 Oh, wow.
00:21:41.000 Look at that.
00:21:42.000 They sponsor a car.
00:21:43.000 Oh, I can reason.
00:21:45.000 All right.
00:21:45.000 Let's get back to the show.
00:21:47.000 Yes.
00:21:48.000 So we've covered those two things.
00:21:54.000 I guess we should wrap it up.
00:21:56.000 What we do on this show.
00:21:59.000 Is we take calls, we go through the letters page, we've got a ton of letters here, and we have a live chat, a super chat, where people donate money.
00:22:10.000 I read everything that's 100 bucks, and 100% of that money goes to Joe Biggs.
00:22:16.000 Various charities over the years, but Joe Biggs is a biggie.
00:22:20.000 He's going to court end of May to defend himself because he committed the most horrendous crime imaginable.
00:22:28.000 He trespassed on the Capitol.
00:22:31.000 And what do we do when we pray?
00:22:34.000 Forgive us our trespasses and we forgive those who trespass against us.
00:22:37.000 Well, the state does not forgive Joe Biggs for his trespassing.
00:22:42.000 So we're trying to get money for his lawyer, Dan Hall.
00:22:45.000 The guy's already put in $100,000 of his own money to fight this case.
00:22:50.000 So we're just trying to, I don't know, give him some gas money.
00:22:53.000 I think we're up to about $10,000 so far on the give-send-go.
00:22:57.000 Please keep giving her on that.
00:23:00.000 Update on a very similar case, Brendan Vaughan.
00:23:05.000 Brendan Bond got in a fight with a Palestinian at a pro-Israeli thing.
00:23:09.000 He's a proud boy.
00:23:11.000 Back in 2017, Palestinian strangled him.
00:23:16.000 He tuned the guy up very briefly.
00:23:18.000 Bonk, bonk, shove.
00:23:20.000 Shoved the guy to the ground.
00:23:23.000 He came back to Canada.
00:23:25.000 It was ignored.
00:23:26.000 The police saw the whole thing and went, alright, well you strangled him and then he strangled you then you shoved him.
00:23:31.000 Okay, self-defense.
00:23:32.000 He saw the Jewish Defense League actively kicking the shit out of the guy after he went to the ground.
00:23:36.000 Some of those guys got arrested.
00:23:39.000 But Brendan comes back to Canada, years go by, word gets out that he's a proud boy.
00:23:44.000 That's a big deal in Canada now.
00:23:46.000 So they retroactively go back to the flight and make it a hate crime.
00:23:50.000 Bang goes his door, they pick him up like Hannibal, tie him up, handcuff him, throw him on a plane to DC.
00:23:58.000 He's been in jail for two months.
00:24:00.000 D.C.
00:24:01.000 is the shittiest jail in America.
00:24:03.000 All murderers, by the way.
00:24:04.000 There's no one in there for jaywalking.
00:24:06.000 D.C.
00:24:07.000 doesn't prosecute.
00:24:08.000 So if you end up in a D.C.
00:24:09.000 jail, you're a bad man.
00:24:12.000 And there's no whites in there, apparently.
00:24:15.000 So, uh...
00:24:17.000 He's in there and he can't get any information, his lawyer can't get any information.
00:24:21.000 I got him a lawyer a long time ago, the first wave of this, when the first wave of this hit, and the media gets every detail.
00:24:31.000 In fact, the lawyers were going to the local Canadian media to find out what's going on with his case because they couldn't get anything.
00:24:38.000 And sometimes it was, just don't come back to America, you'll be free tomorrow.
00:24:41.000 And other times it was, you're looking at 15 years.
00:24:44.000 So after, plus this is COVID, right?
00:24:46.000 So he's not allowed out of his cell.
00:24:47.000 So after two months of solitary confinement, he starts considering suicide.
00:24:51.000 And this just happened last month with a guy, I don't want to get his name wrong, Matt Sherpa?
00:25:00.000 Joe Sherpa?
00:25:01.000 Sounds familiar.
00:25:02.000 His aunt was just on Tucker's show.
00:25:06.000 She didn't cry, which I was crying watching it.
00:25:09.000 What a rock she is.
00:25:11.000 So her pet Perna, I think his name was Matt Perna, and I believe he killed himself on February 25th of this year.
00:25:20.000 At his home.
00:25:20.000 He was only looking at six years, but he'd already been through the ringer.
00:25:25.000 Because of the persecution going on here, he had lost his job, ability to make money.
00:25:30.000 His friends hated him.
00:25:31.000 Oh, you're an insurrectionist.
00:25:32.000 Everyone in his community fell for it, outside of his immediate family.
00:25:35.000 So he became an agoraphobe.
00:25:36.000 He stayed at home all day.
00:25:38.000 And looking at going away to jail for six years and having no future, he just hanged himself.
00:25:44.000 This happens a lot, by the way.
00:25:46.000 The narrative committing murder.
00:25:49.000 Like, remember that dude?
00:25:52.000 That's not her.
00:25:55.000 Matthew Perna.
00:25:55.000 Yep, I got his name right.
00:25:59.000 Remember that dude?
00:26:01.000 He was a vet.
00:26:03.000 Very.
00:26:03.000 He had PTSD, very closely attached to his dog.
00:26:06.000 He was defending his bar.
00:26:08.000 This is like something like Colorado or something.
00:26:11.000 Yes.
00:26:12.000 And they're all vandalizing the place.
00:26:14.000 And he's like, I'm on your side.
00:26:15.000 I'm a lefty.
00:26:15.000 Black Lives Matter.
00:26:16.000 Just please don't fuck with the bar.
00:26:18.000 Some black kid gets in his face.
00:26:20.000 He's like, please, please stop.
00:26:22.000 I don't want any trouble.
00:26:23.000 Him and his dad are there just defending the bar.
00:26:25.000 They've got their guns.
00:26:28.000 And the black kid beats him up.
00:26:30.000 And in the kerfuffle, the black kid gets shot dead.
00:26:33.000 So the narrative is he's a racist.
00:26:35.000 He was out hunting blacks during the George Floyd riots.
00:26:40.000 He is damaged from, you know, being a vet.
00:26:45.000 And he's ostracized, he closes down the bar, he moves, the stigma follows him, and he offs himself.
00:26:59.000 Jack Gardner from Oregon.
00:27:01.000 Jack Gardner.
00:27:02.000 Oregon.
00:27:04.000 Hillsboro, Oregon.
00:27:08.000 I calculate and I've done presentations on this if for those of you don't watch the show regularly Mondays and Tuesdays we do a lot of deep dives into these kind of things and I count about 35 deaths from BLM and Antifa during the George Floyd riots.
00:27:27.000 A lot of them black guys killed.
00:27:30.000 By various assholes.
00:27:31.000 Five black teens shot at Chaz and Chop.
00:27:34.000 There he is, Jack Gardner.
00:27:36.000 How dare he support the President of the United States?
00:27:40.000 I hope he rots in hell!
00:27:41.000 Just kidding, God!
00:27:45.000 We're getting close to the half hour mark where we boot everyone.
00:27:48.000 Some more white people food.
00:27:49.000 You know what I want to do?
00:27:50.000 Uh... Berries?
00:27:53.000 Black people don't eat berries?
00:27:55.000 I don't think they like water either.
00:27:56.000 Maybe that's racist to assume, but I'm pretty sure I heard something about they don't like water.
00:28:03.000 I want to do a deep dive on Monday about all of these people that had their moment in the Sun and laughed at those of us who got married and got our girlfriends pregnant our wives pregnant and Now it's ten years later, and they're sort of going to what the fuck have I done?
00:28:22.000 like
00:28:25.000 Pauly Shore.
00:28:26.000 I saw him on Joe Rogan.
00:28:28.000 And he goes, it was so awesome.
00:28:29.000 I was a teenager.
00:28:30.000 I was a number one guy in the country.
00:28:32.000 Everyone loved me.
00:28:34.000 And I was partying every day.
00:28:36.000 And then, and now it's all gone.
00:28:40.000 And then Rogan's like, what do you want to do?
00:28:41.000 You want to go back to that?
00:28:42.000 And he goes, yeah, I love partying.
00:28:44.000 And Joe Rogan goes, well, just party every day then.
00:28:46.000 You have money.
00:28:47.000 It's not that expensive, beer.
00:28:49.000 These are still a buck each.
00:28:51.000 They haven't gone up since I first tried one in 1984.
00:28:54.000 Not the book, the year.
00:28:59.000 Wow, you laughed at that?
00:29:00.000 Yeah, because that would have seemed like you're in the book and you tried one in 1984.
00:29:04.000 I got it.
00:29:06.000 Yikes.
00:29:08.000 And Pauly Shore goes, no, no, now I want to go to a Korean spa and have a juice and watch the news.
00:29:14.000 Oh, so there's a hole in your life.
00:29:17.000 You didn't have a wife and kids, dummy.
00:29:19.000 That's what I was writing in my hit book, Death of Cool.
00:29:23.000 It's awesome to party, I gotcha, but that's a chapter.
00:29:27.000 You gotta turn the page.
00:29:29.000 Or another one I wanna get into, I'm kind of spilling the beans now, ruining the whole green screen, but Elizabeth Plank, Liz Plank, possibly the sexiest woman in the world, also a brainwashed, woke feminist, who had a real sort of anti-male thing, you know, 10 years ago, and now she's trying to channel her feminism through a love of men.
00:29:50.000 Look at her, that's a 10.
00:29:52.000 I know you get mad when I throw the word number 10 around.
00:29:55.000 She's a 10.
00:29:56.000 But these are all old pictures.
00:29:58.000 She's not a 10 anymore.
00:30:02.000 And now you can tell that she's getting forgotten, especially in New York.
00:30:06.000 She's living in New York now.
00:30:07.000 She's from Montreal.
00:30:09.000 But it's an elephant's graveyard for ovaries here, ladies.
00:30:11.000 Do not come here.
00:30:13.000 If you're a pretty girl like Liz was, you gotta fucking few years to grab your rich guy, and then he's gonna start fucking someone five years younger than you, because men in New York have too many opportunities, and men are only as loyal as their opportunities.
00:30:29.000 Sorry.
00:30:30.000 I don't like that about us, but it's the way most of us are.
00:30:33.000 And she's got her laugh lines now.
00:30:36.000 And she's got things like, uh, you know, talk.
00:30:40.000 She has instructional things on like when he's just not that into you.
00:30:45.000 There she is.
00:30:45.000 Look at that one.
00:30:46.000 Need a pandemic.
00:30:48.000 You see what just happened there?
00:30:50.000 That's a woman that just lost her looks.
00:30:55.000 Now, if she had two kids and a husband, she'd be the hottest mom wife on the block.
00:31:02.000 But she's, I think, she's subconsciously realizing now that there's ramifications for all of this ignoring the herd.
00:31:14.000 And yeah, she was doing a thing on it.
00:31:15.000 So many people ask me, Liz,
00:31:19.000 Isn't this being kind of like... No, that's an ad for Sonos that she did.
00:31:23.000 But she's got one of these videos where she's like, hey, what you got to say to him if he's not calling you back is that you're not active enough for me.
00:31:31.000 I like a little more stuff.
00:31:32.000 And then you indicate that you're going to break up with him and stuff like that.
00:31:35.000 And I'm just like, yeah, I've been that guy.
00:31:38.000 And when there's pussy everywhere, you're just like, all right, I guess I'll just cross you off my to do list.
00:31:43.000 I got another 10 here.
00:31:46.000 And another chick that I'm obsessed with is Publicity.
00:31:51.000 P-U-B-L-Y-S-I-T-T-Y.
00:31:53.000 I guess I'm not doing this anymore.
00:31:54.000 I just ruined the whole thing.
00:31:56.000 But she has put on too much weight.
00:31:59.000 But you can see through the weight that she's a 10.
00:32:02.000 And she's really cool and fun.
00:32:04.000 And she's got this great podcast on Barstool Sports called Spilling Tea or something like that.
00:32:10.000 That's her there.
00:32:11.000 You can see the 10 behind the jowls.
00:32:13.000 Not the jowls, but the chubbiness.
00:32:15.000 Wait, stop.
00:32:15.000 Don't show this yet.
00:32:17.000 If you look her up when she's younger though, before she got fat, she's shockingly beautiful.
00:32:22.000 Anyway, you look at her and she's like, hi everyone, this is what I do on Sundays.
00:32:26.000 I go out and I get tea and then I have a sandwich and then I talk about boys and you're just like...
00:32:33.000 You would be such a great mom.
00:32:34.000 You're so organized.
00:32:36.000 You should be making shit with construction paper for them.
00:32:39.000 You should be organizing their little baby books.
00:32:42.000 Instead, you're organizing books on, like, various shoes!
00:32:48.000 And you see that, I don't wanna call her a shit chest, but you see all of these, not just women too, Pauly Shore is a dude, but all these people who are like, I'm partying dude, fuck you!
00:32:58.000 Remember we used to do that, we used to get wasted doing bumps and shit, and on Sunday night we'd be like, hey, this is to Monday morning, fuck you bitch!
00:33:07.000 And we were saying fuck you to Mondays, to the next morning.
00:33:10.000 We used to make jokes about the next morning and how it can go suck my dick or something like that.
00:33:15.000 And that's the way you say in your twenties about the future, but you have to, you know, take it with a grain of salt.
00:33:22.000 It's almost like being a punk and going fucking live fast, die young dude, and then dying.
00:33:27.000 You're like, no, you're not supposed to literally die.
00:33:31.000 Like it's a thing.
00:33:32.000 It's just a party saying, and I see how these people get older and they're like, I don't know what it is, but there's something not right with my life.
00:33:40.000 And I'm like,
00:33:42.000 Yeah, you didn't have kids.
00:33:44.000 You didn't put a ring on it.
00:33:46.000 I never thought about it like this before, but women that don't have kids are like...
00:33:50.000 Permanent like little girls or something like when men are nerds in their 40s and 50s like I love Star Wars so the new Star Wars came out that's like what it is but for a female.
00:34:00.000 Yeah and what do they talk about relationships constantly like okay look at these two girls realize what we've been screaming for years which is don't give the milk away for free if you want anyone to ever buy the cow.
00:34:13.000 And Bill Schultz were not speaking because he said, oh, I know what you're doing, Gavin.
00:34:17.000 You hate that you can't go out and fuck chicks anymore because you're married.
00:34:21.000 So you want all of us to have shitty lives.
00:34:23.000 And I'm like, first of all, fuck you for desecrating my marriage.
00:34:26.000 Not even fuck you.
00:34:27.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:34:28.000 I guess it was a go fuck yourself.
00:34:29.000 Yeah.
00:34:30.000 But secondly, no, dude, I'm trying to help this shit that we're about to show you.
00:34:35.000 I've seen this a billion times.
00:34:38.000 You think I go up to 23-year-olds and I go, you guys should stop partying, man.
00:34:43.000 Hey, enough with the wet t-shirt contest.
00:34:45.000 I have a blow dryer.
00:34:46.000 I'm drawing them off.
00:34:47.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:34:48.000 Look, here's a dry chemise.
00:34:51.000 Sit down.
00:34:51.000 You guys are getting way too crazy.
00:34:54.000 No, I don't talk about early 20s people.
00:34:57.000 I talk about late 20s, early 30s and say, guys, guys, guys, whoa, trust me, you're going to regret it if you don't fucking dial it in.
00:35:05.000 Ladies in New York City, over 32, you are a colostomy bag for the entire city's cum.
00:35:15.000 You're not gonna like that after a while when you sober up and look around.
00:35:20.000 It's like Jello Biafra says in the Dead Kennedys song Riot.
00:35:24.000 Tomorrow you're homeless.
00:35:25.000 Tonight it's a blast.
00:35:27.000 Alright, finally we're ready for this milk cow thing.
00:35:31.000 Excuse you.
00:35:39.000 I agree.
00:35:40.000 I also just think you're only really hurting yourself.
00:35:43.000 And I do think with friends with benefits, I do think there's a chance where if you were to cut them off, they would maybe come around if they're just dragging their feet and it's just easy for them.
00:35:53.000 But I also think there's a chance they just know you're not their person that they're going to end up with and they might never come around.
00:35:58.000 But either way, what's the benefit for you?
00:36:01.000 What I always say, and I urge you all to ask yourself this, why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?
00:36:07.000 Anytime you're in a situation- Keep watching!
00:36:09.000 You missed the beginning so- Oh great, now we gotta loop it all around again?
00:36:16.000 Anytime you're in a situation-ship and it's not becoming serious within two to three months, get out of there.
00:36:22.000 I agree, I also just think- Okay, so isn't that amazing?
00:36:26.000 This is like when fucking Rogan and all those comedians go, we came up with a thing, it's called Sober October, and for about 40 days, we don't drink.
00:36:36.000 Yeah, it's called Lent.
00:36:38.000 This has been thought of before.
00:36:40.000 Hey, we came up with NoFap.
00:36:42.000 It's this cool thing where you don't beat off.
00:36:44.000 No wanks, I'm guilty of it too.
00:36:46.000 Yeah, that's all been covered by Christianity.
00:36:49.000 And this whole, if he's not into you after two months, he's not into you after 20 months.
00:36:54.000 This has all been covered.
00:36:56.000 Talk to an old person.
00:36:57.000 Any old lady could have told you that.
00:36:59.000 But these young girls are sort of discovering all of these traditional things from scratch, like it's a new thing they discovered from trial and error.
00:37:07.000 And I guess, to them, it is.
00:37:10.000 Anyway, we're gonna go behind the paywall now, start taking some calls.
00:37:15.000 Before we do, however, I'd like to thank our longest sponsor.
00:37:19.000 I feel bad saying BeardVet was our favorite sponsor, because I feel like I'm cheating on my wife, Nita Fashions.
00:37:25.000 But Need of Fashions is where we get all our custom suits, custom shirts.
00:37:31.000 You call them up, contact them.
00:37:33.000 You guys seem to like, you baby monsters seem to like contacting them via their DM on Instagram, where ironically you cannot type out censored.tv.
00:37:44.000 Set up a meeting with them, they can measure you up.
00:37:46.000 They'll probably come to your town soon enough.
00:37:48.000 And when I say your town, I mean Glasgow, Sydney, Toronto, Hong Kong, New York, Chicago, like everywhere.
00:37:56.000 But if you can't wait that long, set up a meeting with these guys online.
00:38:00.000 They'll show your girlfriend how to measure you up using a tape measure.
00:38:04.000 And then once they have your measurements, it's just calling in, getting any suit you want, there's the G-Dog, and it fits you so fucking well, it's so comfortable.
00:38:15.000 I honestly, I wear, I LARP as a blue collar guy when I'm not wearing suits, and my red wings and my fucking,
00:38:23.000 Wax welding pants and my Carhartt jackets are so much more uncomfortable than my suits.
00:38:29.000 My suits are PJs and I often do sleep in them.
00:38:34.000 And the great thing about them too is their range.
00:38:38.000 Like you could get a custom suit for probably six, seven hundred bucks.
00:38:42.000 You can get a dress shirt for fifty bucks.
00:38:45.000 Or you can get like a super thick, incredible quality dress shirt for more like 120 bucks and it's, you know, it doesn't even wrinkle, it's so thick.
00:38:55.000 Same with the suit.
00:38:56.000 Get a wool suit, a corduroy suit, a plaid suit, a black funeral suit.
00:39:01.000 Every man should have one suit at least.
00:39:02.000 I don't care if you're a fucking, if you work in the sewers.
00:39:06.000 You should have one suit for funerals and weddings that fits you perfect, makes you a professional.
00:39:10.000 And guys, you look like such an asshole when your top button is not done up.
00:39:16.000 I just saw that in a movie recently.
00:39:18.000 Oh, Jackass!
00:39:20.000 Johnny Knoxville was wearing a suit when he's playing some suit guy, and his top button wasn't undone.
00:39:24.000 I'm like, dude, that's not the character.
00:39:26.000 It looks so amateur.
00:39:29.000 It looks like you borrowed a shirt.
00:39:30.000 That's not a good look.
00:39:32.000 Get your tux there.
00:39:34.000 My marathon tux I wore was Nina Fashions.
00:39:36.000 Every time you see me wearing a suit,
00:39:38.000 Look at him.
00:39:39.000 Get your fucking top button done up.
00:39:41.000 I thought you were just being picky, but that looks like shit.
00:39:44.000 It looks like a kid at his first job interview.
00:39:48.000 By the way, you know what I found in my junk drawer?
00:39:50.000 Did I tell you this already?
00:39:51.000 No.
00:39:52.000 Johnny Knoxville's Adderall prescription bottle.
00:39:55.000 I remember you had that.
00:39:56.000 It says PJ Clap on it.
00:39:58.000 That's probably worth money, right?
00:40:00.000 Yeah.
00:40:01.000 Especially with the ODs.
00:40:03.000 But I'm gonna put it in a little plexiglass case.
00:40:05.000 I don't want it at my house because I don't want my kids saying like, Daddy's friends do pills.
00:40:09.000 I'm still pals with Knoxville, but you get what I mean.
00:40:12.000 That's why I never had any Sid Vicious or Dash Snow pictures in the house.
00:40:16.000 I don't want to glorify dead junkies.
00:40:20.000 Anyway, that's a tangent.
00:40:22.000 So NitaFashions.com.
00:40:24.000 On Instagram, their what?
00:40:25.000 What's their Instagram account?
00:40:27.000 Nita.Fashions.
00:40:28.000 Nita.Fashions.
00:40:29.000 If you get a chance to see them in person too, you could look through those swatches forever.
00:40:32.000 Oh, it's so fun.
00:40:33.000 Touching them, looking at them, it's amazing.
00:40:35.000 Talking for hours about yourself and things that you like.
00:40:38.000 It's a real Mary Antoinette indulgence that men rarely experience.
00:40:42.000 It's a pampering.
00:40:43.000 Yeah, it's really like, it's like the male equivalent of going to a spa.
00:40:47.000 And you go through all these different, you know, swatches and everything.
00:40:50.000 They can mail you swatches too.
00:40:52.000 They'll FedEx them for free.
00:40:53.000 If you want to go through that kind of stuff.
00:40:55.000 There's something about wearing a suit, too.
00:40:56.000 It's like, when you have a nice suit or a nice piece of clothing, like the pants that I got from them, awesome material, and they look great, you know that they're there.
00:41:07.000 So even if you don't wear them that day, you're like, I'm gonna wear them for something.
00:41:10.000 And now you have this day in the future that you're looking forward to wearing those pants.
00:41:14.000 You know what I was thinking about today, too?
00:41:17.000 In London, England, because in the 60s, 70s and 80s, all the gangsters wore suits.
00:41:23.000 If you're wearing a suit and you don't look like a ponce and there's a bit of skin art or something and you look like you might be a hard man, people are like, oh, fuck, that's a murderer.
00:41:32.000 Like, it's scary to wear a suit in England.
00:41:35.000 Yeah.
00:41:37.000 And that's the book I'm reading right now.
00:41:39.000 I Am Not a Gangster by Bobby Collins.
00:41:42.000 Great book, not well written, which is my comfort food.
00:41:46.000 I love badly written books by cops and criminals because the more typos, the more authentic.
00:41:54.000 You know what might be a great date if you have a chick that you're talking to and you haven't quite gotten to have her come over and then measure you be like I just listen I uh if you're a single guy like can you come over and just help measure me I got to do this thing and now you're doing something together you get a little wine and you're rich put on music yeah you're like it's about but you better have a nice apartment
00:42:14.000 Yeah.
00:42:15.000 Or at least a weird apartment.
00:42:16.000 Or you just lie and say you got a good job.
00:42:18.000 You're like, it's coming in soon, so I just figured I'd get the nice suit.
00:42:21.000 Or I'm crashing here while my apartment gets renovated.
00:42:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:42:24.000 This is my friend's stupid apartment.
00:42:25.000 He's getting gutted.
00:42:27.000 I don't know why he has pictures of me all over the place, but it's my buddy's.
00:42:29.000 He's kind of obsessed with me.
00:42:32.000 Okay, let's get behind the paywall now.
00:42:35.000 And talk to the baby monsters.
00:42:39.000 And to all your freeloaders who just watched or heard all this for free, I'd like to tell you to go to censored.tv, sign up.
00:42:46.000 You can sign up just for a month, three months.
00:42:48.000 You can have someone gift you a month.
00:42:51.000 Maybe, maybe ladies blow a guy and say, you now owe me a hundred bucks.
00:42:57.000 Get me a prescription to censored.tv medication or I'm going to say you raped me.
00:43:05.000 Works every time.
00:43:05.000 Throwing out ideas there.
00:43:06.000 I don't know.
00:43:07.000 I don't know how you live your life.
00:43:10.000 Anyway, I guess I'll see your freeloaders next week.
00:43:13.000 For all you people who pay, we'll see you... Oh, we'll have new shit on Friday.
00:43:21.000 We'll see you Monday, but I got my Jag.
00:43:24.000 So we're gonna go to DC and pick up my new car and we're gonna film an episode of Car Guys.
00:43:28.000 So that's coming next week.
00:43:30.000 Isn't that exciting?
00:43:31.000 Anyway, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting!