Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #143

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:44.000 This is Daryl Tron, a guy I met in Frederick, Maryland, doing karaoke at a dive bed.

00:01:11.000 He's a funky guy like Prince.

00:01:19.000 It's called Daryl Tran.

00:01:23.000 Not a tranny thing, but he's named Daryl, but he's also futuristic and 80s.

00:01:29.000 So like, I guess he should have done Daryl Tron.

00:01:34.000 But he's a very, very funky guy.

00:01:37.000 Did he play the bass?

00:01:39.000 No.

00:01:43.000 I think he mostly plays the keyboard.

00:01:44.000 I don't think he plays the bass.

00:01:46.000 But at this particular night at karaoke, he got up and he did James Brown.

00:01:51.000 Perfect.

00:01:52.000 Short little guy, mustache.

00:01:54.000 Wears like those crumpled up black Reeboks that guys who hate Giuliani would wear in the 90s.

00:02:02.000 Kind of baggy pants that don't fit him very well.

00:02:05.000 But he got up and he did James Brown and just nailed it beautifully.

00:02:09.000 Sex Machine?

00:02:11.000 I think it was Sex Machine.

00:02:13.000 So then everyone's like, yeah, that was good, blah, blah, blah.

00:02:16.000 Then he stands near the mic because I think he intends to return.

00:02:23.000 And this guy goes, that was really good.

00:02:27.000 And then Daryl Tron, Tran, goes, thanks, can I sit here?

00:02:31.000 And then the original guy goes, yeah.

00:02:33.000 Now, I don't know if Daryl might be gay and he thought that he had a boyfriend here or maybe he's just very lonely and he thought he might have a friend.

00:02:40.000 But there was something happening here.

00:02:43.000 There was some potential for a relationship.

00:02:46.000 And then the other guy gets up and he does some song like CCR and nails it too.

00:02:53.000 And you realize, oh, these guys are like pool sharks.

00:02:55.000 Like they're here to rock.

00:02:58.000 So we have a bond here.

00:02:59.000 We're both the best karaoke guys here.

00:03:02.000 On the East Coast.

00:03:03.000 On the entire East Coast.

00:03:05.000 And then this fucking bitch, Yoko Ono, shows up and sits with the guy who said that was good.

00:03:10.000 Now Daryl doesn't have a friend anymore.

00:03:13.000 And his whole body language changed and he changed his chair like this.

00:03:18.000 Now he's just watching the singers.

00:03:20.000 Fuck you two.

00:03:20.000 You dumped it.

00:03:21.000 Wow.

00:03:22.000 And if you check his Facebook, you see that he's a pretty sad guy.

00:03:30.000 Can you scroll down?

00:03:32.000 Happiness in music.

00:03:34.000 Okay.

00:03:38.000 Are you not on Facebook on that computer, Ryan?

00:03:40.000 No.

00:03:41.000 You should be.

00:03:43.000 You got to be for work.

00:03:45.000 But check out his other song that I sent you.

00:03:48.000 It's much more sad.

00:03:49.000 A lot of emotions in that second one.

00:03:52.000 I saw one of his Facebook posts was, yesterday was a pretty tough day.

00:03:56.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:03:58.000 I'm not on Facebook, but do people type that?

00:04:03.000 It's amazing.

00:04:05.000 People will tell you every second of their life and then wonder why you know everything they do.

00:04:12.000 They question it.

00:04:13.000 Like, how do you know?

00:04:14.000 It's crazy.

00:04:14.000 It's insanity.

00:04:16.000 Had diarrhea again on Thursday.

00:04:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:04:19.000 They have no, they, no restrictions.

00:04:22.000 Look how sad he is.

00:04:24.000 I think Daryl needs a date.

00:04:28.000 There he is headed home and it's what is that, a purple turtleneck?

00:04:33.000 Yeah, it's very 80-ish.

00:04:42.000 I've been listening to this CD in my new Jaguar.

00:04:46.000 Because we have a CD player and a cassette player.

00:04:48.000 Yeah, it's got that cool shit in the back where you can put in 16.

00:04:53.000 Of 16.

00:04:54.000 16.

00:04:55.000 11!

00:04:58.000 Good thing it wasn't 11.

00:04:59.000 Anyway, that's my new obsession, Daryl Campbell.

00:05:02.000 Can you show his video, his YouTube page?

00:05:03.000 Stefan Scottish name.

00:05:05.000 Campbell.

00:05:07.000 Daryl Tron.

00:05:08.000 Wait, is that Daryl Tron?

00:05:10.000 It is Tron.

00:05:11.000 Am I misreading that.

00:05:14.000 Oh, it's just got such a fancy O that it resembles an A, but it is Daryl Tron.

00:05:20.000 Okay, we're good now.

00:05:21.000 We're back.

00:05:22.000 I'm going to collab with him.

00:05:24.000 You should.

00:05:24.000 He does reggae.

00:05:26.000 He does Mexican music.

00:05:29.000 He's got a song about nachos.

00:05:31.000 The guy's talent knows no bounds.

00:05:36.000 All right, let's start the show.

00:05:38.000 Welcome back to JoMl Live.

00:05:40.000 Maddie O'Dell is back.

00:05:42.000 What's up, everybody?

00:05:43.000 Thank you for all the well wishes and kind words that you sent or posted about me.

00:05:48.000 I appreciate it.

00:05:48.000 His feet are just too purple.

00:05:51.000 It looks like he's wearing fuzzy slippers, but it's his feet.

00:05:54.000 It's kind of funky.

00:05:56.000 And you've got your own shirt, your own baby monster shirt.

00:06:00.000 I do.

00:06:01.000 I do.

00:06:03.000 I love it.

00:06:05.000 I can't wait to get the big, expanded one.

00:06:08.000 Yeah, that's going to be much better.

00:06:09.000 That's too small.

00:06:10.000 It's going to be awesome.

00:06:11.000 And I designed the shirt.

00:06:13.000 I didn't draw that.

00:06:14.000 My cartoonist friend did.

00:06:16.000 But I designed the shirt thinking of a big, huge, outlandish print.

00:06:20.000 It's not meant to be subtle.

00:06:21.000 Right.

00:06:21.000 It's not a horse.

00:06:22.000 It's supposed to be exaggerated.

00:06:24.000 Yeah.

00:06:29.000 So you know how it works?

00:06:33.000 The show is free for the first half hour.

00:06:35.000 Then we jump behind the paywall.

00:06:37.000 We take calls.

00:06:38.000 This show, we get to know the people.

00:06:41.000 That's key.

00:06:42.000 But before we do, we'd like to welcome back Johnny Apple CBD.

00:06:46.000 What?

00:06:54.000 Well, I talked to our friend at seven.

00:07:02.000 But they fired What's His Face for being a retard.

00:07:10.000 Now, I'm done trusting people.

00:07:13.000 Like, we are living in an era of telephone that's brutal.

00:07:17.000 Like, I got a call from Ethan Nardine's lawyer, who's a great guy, by the way, and that case is fucking nuts.

00:07:24.000 But he's like, you're trying to raise money for Ethan?

00:07:27.000 I go, I mean, I could try, but no?

00:07:30.000 I thought Ethan had money.

00:07:32.000 He goes, oh, that's what people are saying.

00:07:35.000 I'm sick of this, like, I heard that you want to do that.

00:07:39.000 No.

00:07:40.000 No more.

00:07:42.000 I'm talking to the boss.

00:07:46.000 HNIC, Apple CBD, the CEO of CBD.

00:07:54.000 Not another word word for end.

00:07:57.000 It's a nice guy to announce Johnny Apple CBD to the end.

00:08:00.000 I heard that too.

00:08:09.000 And go with what you know.

00:08:35.000 The story is the rebranding, so don't say Johnny Apple TV.

00:08:46.000 Okay.

00:08:47.000 Thank you.

00:08:48.000 Thank you.

00:08:51.000 Yeah.

00:08:53.000 All right.

00:08:54.000 You're also going to work on your own bullshit detector there, Rygai.

00:08:58.000 So we'd like to welcome back, Welcome Time, JohnnyApple.com.

00:09:04.000 AH DVD.

00:09:07.000 What can you use this shit for?

00:09:08.000 Oh, everything.

00:09:10.000 Sleeping better at night.

00:09:12.000 You got sore joints.

00:09:14.000 You got sore muscles from working out.

00:09:16.000 You put the DVD on.

00:09:18.000 It instantly stops the aching pains.

00:09:20.000 It's a magical thing.

00:09:21.000 I think God is sending his little wink wink when he made whatever is in this.

00:09:28.000 The hemp plant.

00:09:29.000 It's not THC, right?

00:09:30.000 There's no THC.

00:09:32.000 Well, you can get CBD gummies with Delta 8, and it'll make you feel like you're half a kite.

00:09:39.000 Yeah, my wife had too many of those, and we had a bit of a night.

00:09:43.000 It's totally legal, but not a fucking joke, so be careful.

00:09:46.000 You know what's going on with that shit?

00:09:47.000 Do not have three if you don't have a high talent.

00:09:50.000 You know what I had to do to keep her alive?

00:09:52.000 Sing and dance and tell stories.

00:09:55.000 Basically do the Gavin McInnes show like full blast for till 2.30 in the morning.

00:10:02.000 To prevent a bad trip.

00:10:03.000 Yeah, just keeping her laughing and like, hello, my baby.

00:10:05.000 Hello, my honey.

00:10:06.000 Whoa.

00:10:06.000 And then I was over here and telling stories.

00:10:09.000 Yeah, because if you don't, then you get those moments where she's like, we're all going to die one day, aren't you?

00:10:13.000 Paranoia.

00:10:14.000 I had to just keep on.

00:10:15.000 And then she goes, you love that kind of shit.

00:10:18.000 No, the court jester does not love singing and dancing till 2.30 in the morning to save you from having a bad trip.

00:10:25.000 But anyway, you know what she used it for once?

00:10:28.000 On her feet, on a night out when she's going to be wearing high-heel shoes, she put the CBD cream on her feet to avoid aches there.

00:10:37.000 They do say transdermal is the best way to absorb it.

00:10:43.000 So Johnny Apple CBD, also johnnyapple.com.

00:10:48.000 Tinctures are great in your coffee.

00:10:50.000 Takes the edge off the caffeine.

00:10:52.000 It's kind of spooky how effective this is in virtually any shape or form that you sell it.

00:10:58.000 There's something magical about the hemp plant, and I think God is sending us a message because it just makes your life better.

00:11:05.000 I was talking to Alex Stein today.

00:11:08.000 Prime Time 99.

00:11:09.000 Alex Stein, the guy who's been trolling all these...

00:11:13.000 Patrolling all these town halls.

00:11:16.000 And he thinks that the marijuana use that he does is curing his own cancer.

00:11:22.000 He doesn't have cancer, but he thinks it's keeping it away.

00:11:25.000 Kind of a genius, that guy, and kind of a nut.

00:11:29.000 Is that the guy that's been going around talking about his trans five-year-old nephew that wants me?

00:11:36.000 Yeah.

00:11:38.000 I commend him.

00:11:39.000 And he's like Johnny Appleseed, speaking of Johnny Apple CBD.

00:11:43.000 He's going all over the country with these, from Hawaii to Portland to Mesquite to fucking Dallas.

00:11:50.000 And then he's getting other guys to do their own.

00:11:54.000 It's awesome.

00:11:55.000 And it really reveals how nothing of a job these local politicians have.

00:11:59.000 It's such garbage.

00:12:00.000 They do nothing.

00:12:02.000 But what are you saying?

00:12:03.000 It cancels.

00:12:04.000 It's just...

00:12:06.000 It's amazing.

00:12:08.000 I can't say what normal human being would sit in that room and just absorb that as if it's okay.

00:12:14.000 Well, that's the real key right there.

00:12:16.000 It's not just fuck you guys, this sucks.

00:12:18.000 They're actually very well-written diatribes.

00:12:21.000 Like the one where he was the soldier saying we need to go fight and die in World War III for Zelensky.

00:12:27.000 Yeah.

00:12:28.000 It was eloquent.

00:12:29.000 It was beautifully written.

00:12:30.000 Like if you read it, you'd go, this is a really good speech.

00:12:33.000 So now we're drifting from trolling and pranks to performance art.

00:12:40.000 Very talented guy.

00:12:41.000 Johnny Apple CDD.

00:12:43.000 Okay, that's enough for Johnny Apple.

00:12:47.000 Look at this.

00:12:47.000 So I got my car.

00:12:49.000 You can show the car, Ryan.

00:12:51.000 We got the Jag.

00:12:52.000 Car Guys episode coming up.

00:12:55.000 I won't give anything away, but we've made some incredible discoveries.

00:12:59.000 Jag achieved.

00:13:02.000 Look at that.

00:13:05.000 Speaking of Alex Stein, he deals in used cars.

00:13:08.000 I told him I paid $20,000 for that, and he goes, it's worth $6,500.

00:13:13.000 So that was not great.

00:13:14.000 But you got everything new under the hood, too.

00:13:17.000 And the suspension he mentioned.

00:13:18.000 He replaces the suspension.

00:13:20.000 I think he got a nice little deal there.

00:13:23.000 They put the first bid was $8,000.

00:13:26.000 It ended up at $13,000.

00:13:28.000 I had to trailer it to their shop.

00:13:30.000 That was another, I don't know, $15.

00:13:32.000 They did like $3,000 of repairs.

00:13:34.000 It kept adding up until it was around $20,000.

00:13:36.000 But anyway, those guys get free shit from Budweiser, which, you know, makes one come in his drawers.

00:13:43.000 But then you see it.

00:13:45.000 And you go, though it's still the king of beers, the king didn't spread the budget.

00:13:51.000 It's also the king of shit.

00:13:54.000 Like, look at this.

00:13:56.000 This is one thing they get.

00:13:57.000 And they encourage him to wear this and stuff.

00:13:59.000 This is like the kind of gross hat your dad wears.

00:14:02.000 Like, my dad wears a hat like this.

00:14:03.000 It says Iowa Hawks.

00:14:04.000 He has no idea who the Iowa Hawks are.

00:14:06.000 He just found it.

00:14:08.000 It's a Forduroy or no?

00:14:10.000 No, it's just red, whatever.

00:14:12.000 Cotton.

00:14:14.000 This is one of your dad's found hats.

00:14:17.000 So that's a no.

00:14:21.000 Garbage sunglasses.

00:14:22.000 I love your new sunglasses.

00:14:24.000 I like your new sunglasses.

00:14:25.000 Look at these.

00:14:26.000 Am I in Devo?

00:14:27.000 Yeah, crack that whip.

00:14:29.000 Beer koozie, whatever.

00:14:30.000 And then just like an undershirt.

00:14:32.000 I don't know.

00:14:33.000 Life beater.

00:14:34.000 It looks like a Filipino street vendor would have this on.

00:14:39.000 And the weird thing is the label is like frayed to shit, implying they get these from the Philippines and they put their logo on it.

00:14:48.000 I don't know.

00:14:49.000 It's got a bit of a used vibe.

00:14:51.000 So that's good.

00:14:52.000 It would probably cost about 56 cents for all that stuff per box.

00:14:58.000 Now look at these.

00:15:00.000 Like the reason I love 80s Bud merch is it's all high quality.

00:15:03.000 Like my Bud hat is blue corduroy and leather and stuff.

00:15:06.000 These are Budweiser overalls, right?

00:15:14.000 And it's the same kind of vibe when your wife makes, you know, buys the whole family some Christmas, you know, fake Christmas sweaters or little jumpsuits from pajama.com or whatever.

00:15:27.000 What kind of material is it?

00:15:29.000 Good question.

00:15:30.000 It feels like adult diapers.

00:15:33.000 Is it a synthetic picture?

00:15:34.000 You wouldn't want to wear it near.

00:15:36.000 Polyester.

00:15:37.000 Hey, you don't want to wear that near fire.

00:15:39.000 Like a grill or stove.

00:15:42.000 It'll melt.

00:15:44.000 It's just fucking shit.

00:15:47.000 Like pure shade.

00:15:50.000 And then check out this.

00:15:52.000 This is the king of beers, right?

00:15:54.000 King of beers.

00:15:56.000 So it's a garbage party city crown with foam in it.

00:16:02.000 And then just this shit cake.

00:16:04.000 It almost looked like burger cake.

00:16:06.000 Yeah, like.

00:16:07.000 Are you going to wear that around?

00:16:11.000 It's the kind of thing where you're going to a Halloween party and they go, oh, you have to dress up.

00:16:16.000 And you go, oh, I didn't bother.

00:16:17.000 And they go, come on, dude, everyone's dressing up.

00:16:19.000 You have to.

00:16:19.000 And you go, ah, okay, can we stop in here?

00:16:22.000 There, I'm a king.

00:16:23.000 Hey, I'm a king.

00:16:26.000 So I don't want to be sponsored by Bud.

00:16:29.000 It's quiet.

00:16:30.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.

00:16:31.000 It's really quiet.

00:16:34.000 Hard pass.

00:16:35.000 In the news, we have a new Biden-ism.

00:16:39.000 I thought this could be fun where we try to figure out what the fuck he's saying.

00:16:43.000 I think we're getting really good at understanding Joe Biden.

00:16:48.000 Speaking Joe Biden.

00:16:49.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:16:53.000 That's been a long time for that one.

00:16:54.000 It was great the other day how he was just dismissed when Obama was at the White House.

00:17:00.000 He was like caught outside of the stream of air and he was just spinning around.

00:17:04.000 Well, you know what I like?

00:17:06.000 Everyone's talking about that nonstop and it's got so much more meat to that bone than the fucking Will Smith slap where you injured that for a week.

00:17:15.000 Shut up.

00:17:16.000 Oh, it's still going on now.

00:17:17.000 Someone lost his temper and he's a moron and he hit another pussy.

00:17:21.000 Okay, gotcha.

00:17:22.000 But this, ignoring Joe Biden and abusing him publicly.

00:17:30.000 That's not a good look for the country.

00:17:31.000 That's not a good look for the country.

00:17:33.000 It also shows that they've completely given up on him.

00:17:37.000 He's dead to them.

00:17:40.000 And when I say them, I mean Obama, Biden's chief of staff, who's running the country, Valerie Jarrett, Kamala Harris, and basically everyone in the White House, too.

00:17:49.000 Like the way they were fawning over Barry, Barack Toboggan.

00:17:53.000 Yep.

00:17:55.000 Biden.

00:17:56.000 On him I can defend.

00:17:58.000 My pet.

00:18:00.000 Biden.

00:18:00.000 A monster of a president.

00:18:03.000 He's big and food.

00:18:04.000 Sleepy.

00:18:05.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:18:07.000 My cat.

00:18:08.000 Biden.

00:18:09.000 Wait, what?

00:18:09.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:18:14.000 Stop.

00:18:16.000 You ready?

00:18:18.000 I want you guys to prick up your ears, as they say in England.

00:18:22.000 See if you can do this.

00:18:23.000 You might need a pen.

00:18:30.000 To ensure this be raid of America, we upheld a promise.

00:18:34.000 Whoa.

00:18:35.000 A promise.

00:18:38.000 You know what it is.

00:18:39.000 Most people don't.

00:18:40.000 Okay.

00:18:40.000 Are we ready?

00:18:41.000 What?

00:18:42.000 Wait, wait, wait, give me a second.

00:18:43.000 We're doing it one more time.

00:18:44.000 This has got to be...

00:18:46.000 It's a game show with Kyle Dunnegan, but I think this would be a fun game show mainstream.

00:18:50.000 You know what it is?

00:18:51.000 Most people...

00:18:53.000 I know.

00:18:54.000 Okay, you ready?

00:18:55.000 You want to do the beginning?

00:18:56.000 Yes.

00:18:57.000 Go.

00:19:00.000 To ensure this reveable America wins.

00:19:03.000 That's the really hard part.

00:19:05.000 To sure we're an agreeable America?

00:19:08.000 That's to ensure is, I'm pretty confident on that.

00:19:11.000 I think you said it was to ensure we're an agreeable America.

00:19:16.000 Okay, the beginning is, you know what it is.

00:19:19.000 Most people don't.

00:19:20.000 To ensure, then I have a lot of trouble.

00:19:24.000 And then I go, we upheld a promise.

00:19:26.000 It's easy at the end.

00:19:27.000 It's like a bronosaur or a brachiosaurus.

00:19:32.000 It's pretty easy at the beginning, then it gets really difficult in the middle, and then it's easy again at the other end.

00:19:41.000 Jesus Christ.

00:19:42.000 You know what it is.

00:19:43.000 Most people don't.

00:19:44.000 Got it.

00:19:46.000 To ensure that we live with America, we upheld a promise.

00:19:50.000 Oh, we upheld a promise.

00:19:52.000 That part.

00:19:53.000 To ensure that we something America.

00:19:57.000 And then, what is it after we upheld a promise?

00:20:00.000 I got that.

00:20:07.000 Hey, we're only missing like one word here.

00:20:09.000 This is like...

00:20:10.000 Sounds like an agreeable.

00:20:11.000 This is wordle.

00:20:12.000 Yeah.

00:20:13.000 We got all the vowels.

00:20:16.000 To ensure the agreement of America.

00:20:18.000 We up.

00:20:20.000 Agreeable America is seeming like it.

00:20:23.000 Best bet so far.

00:20:25.000 To ensure the dream of America.

00:20:27.000 No, to ensure the...

00:20:30.000 Can you turn it up?

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:32.000 I find blaring it really helps.

00:20:34.000 And as much as this sounds crazy, you've been looking at the actual clip.

00:20:39.000 Oh, is it not behind me?

00:20:40.000 No.

00:20:42.000 We should also make clear, Maddie doesn't have a screen.

00:20:44.000 The Mets are opening now.

00:20:46.000 Can you aim the camera at the Mets?

00:20:48.000 Is it just...

00:20:49.000 Oh, he's talking.

00:20:50.000 There he is.

00:20:51.000 There we go.

00:20:54.000 Contributors, rebearer America.

00:20:56.000 We are public.

00:21:01.000 The agreeable American...

00:21:02.000 Rebuild America.

00:21:05.000 Oh, that's better.

00:21:06.000 We made a promise to rebuild, build back better.

00:21:09.000 But...

00:21:10.000 Why are you wearing a fucking hat and a suit?

00:21:12.000 Do you just like making me crazy?

00:21:17.000 He's wearing a fluorescent green beanie and a fucking gray suit.

00:21:21.000 Rebuild and agreeable.

00:21:23.000 Rebuild?

00:21:24.000 Rebel?

00:21:24.000 Yeah, rebuild.

00:21:25.000 Because we made a promise.

00:21:28.000 You know what it is.

00:21:28.000 Most people don't.

00:21:29.000 To ensure that we rebuild America.

00:21:32.000 We upheld a promise.

00:21:33.000 Yep.

00:21:34.000 I think that's pretty solid there.

00:21:36.000 Yeah.

00:21:37.000 I'd throw that in, throw it down in the ring.

00:21:40.000 How did we get that channel back on it?

00:21:42.000 It wasn't dead.

00:21:43.000 What happened?

00:21:46.000 Interfile section.

00:21:47.000 However, some fucking up shit.

00:21:52.000 I didn't even pay it.

00:21:53.000 I don't even know when it went out.

00:21:56.000 Okay, well here.

00:22:02.000 You try to figure it out.

00:22:03.000 It's in my favorites.

00:22:04.000 SNY is in my favorites in TV, mate.

00:22:09.000 What are you doing, right?

00:22:15.000 Okay.

00:22:18.000 Because I want to read the next sponsor.

00:22:21.000 Oh, shit.

00:22:26.000 This is not very exciting TV here.

00:22:29.000 We're blowing it.

00:22:33.000 Did you honestly wear that hat to make me crazy?

00:22:36.000 You did it to style your locks.

00:22:41.000 What the fuck?

00:22:43.000 And you know what you do when you mess with your hair, you change it like 1%.

00:22:48.000 Maybe.

00:22:50.000 It doesn't look different to anyone but you.

00:22:52.000 When you do it 1%.

00:22:56.000 And Maddie looks super dark.

00:22:59.000 Yeah.

00:23:00.000 The light went out.

00:23:02.000 Oh, it went out?

00:23:04.000 No, it didn't.

00:23:09.000 This is terrible TV.

00:23:10.000 Okay.

00:23:13.000 I want to thank Beard Vet for coming back.

00:23:15.000 Let's worry about the technical shit in a second.

00:23:17.000 Let's get Beard Vet out there.

00:23:19.000 Beard Vet, two things.

00:23:21.000 It's a lot of things.

00:23:23.000 Most of these vets that we have sponsoring us have incredible work ethics, so they never just sell one thing.

00:23:31.000 Even when they sell the coffee or the beard cream, there's always like kits involved and all kinds of shit.

00:23:39.000 Maybe they get, do they get the work ethic from being in the military?

00:23:43.000 Or is being in the military just a natural thing for them because they already had good work ethic and discipline when they went there?

00:23:51.000 Beard oils, beard grooming kits, beard grooming products.

00:23:55.000 We drink the coffee here.

00:23:56.000 El Diablo is a kick in the ass.

00:23:57.000 You know what's fun to do?

00:23:58.000 You get the El Diablo from Beard Vet, and then you give a little sprinkle of the Johnny Apple CBD tincture.

00:24:06.000 So you get the intense roller coaster ride of their strongest coffee without any of the sketchiness that most coffee has.

00:24:15.000 Beardvet.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off.

00:24:21.000 And my point with all of these is you're getting coffee, so why not get coffee from one of us?

00:24:28.000 Someone who supports free speech, someone who wants to make America great again.

00:24:32.000 You know?

00:24:33.000 Absolutely.

00:24:35.000 When I found an optometrist who was MAGA, he's in the city, but I go see him every time I need glasses.

00:24:40.000 Because I'm getting glasses anyway.

00:24:41.000 I might as well direct it towards him.

00:24:44.000 So direct your coffee buying to beardvet.com.

00:24:48.000 Use promo code Gavin and show them that you support the troops, you support America, and you want to make America great again.

00:24:56.000 Beardvet.com, promo code Gavin.

00:25:00.000 All right, what's happening over there?

00:25:02.000 I don't know where your favorite is.

00:25:08.000 Okay, in the meantime, I'd like to walk you all through a very easy to do thing.

00:25:15.000 So we're going to go to the live show, and we're going to show you how to send a super chat or a paychat.

00:25:23.000 Legally, we can't say super chat, but we know what it is.

00:25:27.000 So you'll go to the live show on a desktop.

00:25:31.000 You'll click the live show thing, and there's a little button here, donate to read a message on air.

00:25:38.000 And you'll click that, and you'll fill it out, and then you will have a little thing that you can send into the show.

00:25:46.000 And it would look like this.

00:25:49.000 Gavin, can you rank the members of your whack pack from healthiest to unhealthiest?

00:25:56.000 Maddie's not really a whack packer, obviously, but whatever.

00:26:00.000 Sylvia and Donovan.

00:26:05.000 I don't know what Donovan's disease does.

00:26:08.000 Do they live a long life?

00:26:10.000 I think they might.

00:26:13.000 Is he kind of like Stephen Hawkins?

00:26:15.000 Have you seen Donovan with his?

00:26:18.000 He has the exact same disease as that guy with the normal head and the garbage body who's always on social media with his girlfriend.

00:26:26.000 You've heard me today.

00:26:27.000 And they're always doing the same thing.

00:26:30.000 It's like, it's a TikTok where it's like, is she your nurse?

00:26:34.000 Your helper?

00:26:34.000 Your blah, blah.

00:26:35.000 No, she's my wife.

00:26:37.000 And you go, you guys, I know why you chose him now because you're a fucking attention whore and you love being the woman who's dating the gimp.

00:26:46.000 If there was no social media, she'd be gone.

00:26:50.000 She was in a little village in Ireland.

00:26:51.000 Oh, geez.

00:26:52.000 She'd be like, sorry, I got to go fuck a strong farmer.

00:26:54.000 No one's paying attention to me.

00:26:58.000 She's probably still doing that because he's not getting it up.

00:27:02.000 Now that Gav is gone, Rye, I'm coming for that ass.

00:27:05.000 I want that Asian zing.

00:27:07.000 Yes.

00:27:08.000 That sounds sexual and threatening at the same time.

00:27:12.000 Yeah.

00:27:13.000 Living dangerously.

00:27:16.000 Some gay jokes aren't funny.

00:27:18.000 Like some gay jokes where they go, I'm not gay, but I really would love to fuck you.

00:27:22.000 You're at the top of my list.

00:27:23.000 You're like, that's not how we do our gay jokes.

00:27:27.000 This guy's being a dad.

00:27:28.000 Congrats.

00:27:29.000 Thanks for everything, Gavin.

00:27:31.000 I'm finally becoming a dad.

00:27:32.000 Many thanks to you.

00:27:32.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:27:33.000 We don't have to read the ones under $100.

00:27:37.000 All right.

00:27:38.000 This isn't really a normal thing to do at the show, but maybe we should throw in a quick war on kids because that's been a constant theme here.

00:27:50.000 You can play the interstitial.

00:27:53.000 I like people getting a taste of what we've been playing through.

00:27:55.000 Hello, fam!

00:27:56.000 I had a text change upgrade.

00:27:58.000 Who wants to pay up my back?

00:28:00.000 We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.

00:28:06.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.

00:28:18.000 So we did...

00:28:19.000 Can I see how you do the Mets game?

00:28:22.000 Yes.

00:28:25.000 That'll be exciting.

00:28:30.000 Top of the fourth.

00:28:32.000 O-O-O-O.

00:28:36.000 Oh, no.

00:28:37.000 We have no degrome.

00:28:41.000 Yeah, I still haven't heard how long he's going to be out.

00:28:45.000 I'm not happy about that.

00:28:46.000 No, I don't think anybody was.

00:28:50.000 He's our Cy Young superstar.

00:28:51.000 Anyway, so I think it was Monday's show, Tuesday's show.

00:28:56.000 By the way, if I lose tonight, I lose 120.

00:29:01.000 Ouch.

00:29:02.000 Which is annoying.

00:29:03.000 That's a big one.

00:29:06.000 Is that like the normal?

00:29:07.000 What's the average game you're paying?

00:29:09.000 I both on the team, by the team.

00:29:10.000 Sometimes it's 120.

00:29:12.000 Sometimes I lose 80, depending the odds.

00:29:14.000 Okay, so that's the range.

00:29:15.000 Yeah.

00:29:16.000 Okay.

00:29:16.000 I think.

00:29:17.000 But I got Gino Biscante betting 50 bucks on every Padres game, and then his buddy Matt betting $50 on every Yankees game, which is gay.

00:29:26.000 Yankees.

00:29:27.000 And then we have the bet with Jimmy.

00:29:29.000 And then I have the bet with Jimmy where...

00:29:31.000 He says you're going to be plus $11, and you say you're going to be down $1,100.

00:29:35.000 I say $1,800.

00:29:36.000 Oh, $1,800?

00:29:37.000 Yep.

00:29:37.000 So whoever's closer wins.

00:29:39.000 I like it, though.

00:29:40.000 It's already making this game more fun.

00:29:42.000 Yeah.

00:29:43.000 Got a little skin in the game.

00:29:44.000 Yeah, I see those 0-0s and I go.

00:29:47.000 Well, I don't know when's the last time a major league team, even the Mets, lost every game.

00:29:55.000 I hope it's never happened.

00:29:57.000 No.

00:29:58.000 So on Monday, Tuesday, we were talking about this war on kids.

00:30:01.000 It's been a constant theme with the show this week.

00:30:04.000 We are wondering, there's definitely a gay agenda in schools.

00:30:10.000 There's definitely a gay agenda at Disney.

00:30:14.000 Are you trying to fuck kids or are you just trying to create little revolutionaries and separate us from our kids?

00:30:21.000 There's a good argument for both.

00:30:23.000 I have trouble thinking that entire industries are dying to groom kids.

00:30:28.000 I know what happens with the Muslims in Britain, but I think it's just misguided, brainwashed liberals who might even be a little gay, just pushing gay shit because it's the new civil rights.

00:30:42.000 It's the new anti-racism.

00:30:44.000 I don't, I have trouble believing this many people, 50% of Disney want to fuck kids.

00:30:52.000 But anyway, Chris Ruffio is the sort of brave heart of this entire monitoring movement.

00:31:00.000 And the bulwark, which is a weird, bulwark means wall, but it's ironically an anti-Trump, allegedly Republican site, and it's just sellout cucks like the Lincoln Project who hate the right, but pretend to be right.

00:31:15.000 So it sounds more noble, you know?

00:31:17.000 Rhinos.

00:31:18.000 Rhinos.

00:31:19.000 They're like, we're policing our own.

00:31:21.000 Yeah.

00:31:22.000 So they wrote an entire article claiming that Chris Ruffio's report that Disney wants a minimum of 50% characters to be LGBTQ IA?

00:31:33.000 I thought I was on the cutting edge of this shit.

00:31:36.000 What's IA?

00:31:38.000 Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer intersex.

00:31:46.000 Intersex.

00:31:47.000 Intersex.

00:31:48.000 Oh, like if you have a cunt and a dick?

00:31:50.000 Wouldn't that be a hermaphrodite?

00:31:52.000 Yeah.

00:31:53.000 I think it is a hermaphrodite.

00:31:56.000 Because they always bring up, they don't say hermaphrodite anymore.

00:31:58.000 They say intersex.

00:31:59.000 And they always bring that up to talk about women in sports.

00:32:04.000 And they're like, what team should intersex people play on?

00:32:07.000 And you're like, oh, you mean all three of them?

00:32:09.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 Out of the 300.

00:32:11.000 There's allegedly Jamie Lee Curtis.

00:32:13.000 And then there was Chyna, the wrestler, whose clit was so big it looked like a kid's dick.

00:32:18.000 I think that might have been doing massive amounts of testosterone.

00:32:21.000 Could testosterone turn your clit into a kid's dick?

00:32:27.000 Yuck.

00:32:27.000 Anyway, she found a team just fine.

00:32:31.000 But look how stupid this is.

00:32:37.000 You know what I mean?

00:32:38.000 LGBTQQIP2SAA.

00:32:42.000 There's not one gay person in America that knows what that means.

00:32:45.000 Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirits, androgynous and asexual.

00:32:53.000 Well, you know who knows it by heart.

00:32:55.000 It's the 400-pound pink and light blue baby, like rainbow fucking Skittle hair with glasses.

00:33:01.000 She's got like 8,000 things coming out of her face.

00:33:04.000 And she's talking about her life.

00:33:07.000 She memorizes it like nerds memorizing.

00:33:09.000 She's saying like forwards and backwards.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, and those are the ones doing the actual hard work of banning you from social media because they played video games as a chick.

00:33:17.000 They became trans.

00:33:18.000 They're not trans.

00:33:19.000 They're not even gay.

00:33:20.000 They're just lonely and bored and ugly and fat and weird.

00:33:23.000 So when you insult trans, they take it personally.

00:33:26.000 And that's why you'll notice censorship these days is fucking brutal on anyone who says anything remotely anti-trans.

00:33:32.000 Like when the Babylon Bee said that Rachel Levine should win the Man of the Year Award, they freaked out, kicked him off Twitter.

00:33:39.000 You know what?

00:33:40.000 I'm having a hard time with this thing about when they're talking about the voting on the K through 3, talking to kids about being gay and trans.

00:33:50.000 I'm like, we have like a fucking parental guidance.

00:33:55.000 I don't even know if it's like a consortium or a.

00:34:00.000 They make rules for when you had TV, you had G rated for kids and general audience.

00:34:04.000 Yeah, PG-13 and PG and then R. Like, you don't start talking about sex with fucking kids.

00:34:11.000 You don't start talking about like, oh, you said you wanted to be a girl today.

00:34:15.000 And then you keep just bombarding with that, oh, he's deciding that he's going to be a girl.

00:34:20.000 There's also the implication that these topics are floating around kids' heads.

00:34:24.000 It never comes up.

00:34:26.000 Here's the thing.

00:34:26.000 The fucking human brain isn't fully developed until you're 25.

00:34:30.000 You can't fucking do anything on your own.

00:34:32.000 You can't have any medical procedures by yourself without your parents' consent if you're a minor.

00:34:37.000 Like, have they just fucking foregone every fucking thing that this society has done since day one?

00:34:43.000 Like, how do you talk to a fucking five-year-old about gender brain?

00:34:47.000 People they know, kids know who fuck, are their parents.

00:34:50.000 And why is anyone giving them?

00:34:51.000 There's nothing worse than the thought of your parents having sex.

00:34:54.000 So you're literally bringing up the worst thing that they know of.

00:34:57.000 But why would any adult, any God, like intelligent adult want to sit down with someone else's child and talk about any sex?

00:35:05.000 Yeah, something's wrong.

00:35:06.000 Heterosexual, gay, whatever.

00:35:08.000 Bill Burr says that.

00:35:09.000 He goes, I used to love kids hanging out with kids.

00:35:11.000 They're like little drunk guys.

00:35:12.000 And now I'm just so scared of being called a pedophile that when they come up to me, I'm like, ugh.

00:35:15.000 And it's true.

00:35:16.000 Whenever you hang around with kids these days, you see a kid at like a barbecue or something, there's always this like, hey, I'm not a pedophile.

00:35:24.000 Hey, it's going to be fun because they've mainstreamed sex in kids so much that you feel like you have to make it clear that you're not one of them.

00:35:32.000 You just want to throw a ball back and forth.

00:35:34.000 You know, are they going to let them get tattoos too?

00:35:37.000 Because they know if they could change their gender, they should know what artwork they want on their body.

00:35:41.000 Why is questioning in the acronym?

00:35:44.000 If you're questioning, well, that's fine.

00:35:46.000 Come back to me when you figure out what letter you are.

00:35:48.000 You suck a dick and let me know how it was.

00:35:49.000 Yeah.

00:35:50.000 I want to be in the Hells Angels maybe or the Pagans.

00:35:53.000 I'm not sure.

00:35:55.000 Okay.

00:35:55.000 Well, we're not going to bring you in here as a maybe.

00:35:59.000 You don't need a group to make that decision for you.

00:36:02.000 Yeah.

00:36:03.000 You're not invited to the team.

00:36:05.000 You're a family.

00:36:05.000 If you're quite individual.

00:36:07.000 Sorry.

00:36:07.000 I wish you nothing but the best.

00:36:09.000 Do your research.

00:36:10.000 I think you're probably going to end up Q. But until you have a letter, you're not invited.

00:36:16.000 One of the letters is not knowing what letter you are.

00:36:19.000 Yeah.

00:36:19.000 I have a theory of how all this, like, these groups of these misfits, like the Rainbow Skittle Hairs, 400 pounds, you know, non-binary.

00:36:30.000 It's when everyone got a fucking participation trophy because they hated to be there.

00:36:35.000 They were forced to be there.

00:36:37.000 So they just looked at everything that was going on without them, but they were forced to be there.

00:36:43.000 And they just picked it apart and they found solidarity with it.

00:36:46.000 That's a good theory.

00:36:47.000 My theory is that it's for ostracized losers who are ugly and have no social skills and they've never had any power.

00:36:55.000 But then they got into tech.

00:36:56.000 They got into video games because they were bored and alone.

00:36:59.000 And that led them to tech and that led them to code.

00:37:02.000 And now they're working at like Twitter, Facebook, whatever.

00:37:05.000 And they're making up all these dumb rules and they get to enforce these stupid rules.

00:37:10.000 Anyway, so the Bulwark told Chris Ruffo that he was lying when they said that they want 50% to be POCs or LGBTs.

00:37:19.000 It doesn't work out.

00:37:20.000 And then on their site, Chris points out that by 2022, 50% of regular and recurring characters across Disney General Entertainment scripted content will come from underrepresented groups.

00:37:31.000 So they called his theory a conspiracy theory, but it's true.

00:37:36.000 This is why the word conspiracy theory is no longer an insult.

00:37:40.000 Maybe you just put it appropriate to what the population is.

00:37:43.000 So what is trans like 0.0004?

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:48.000 1%.

00:37:48.000 Wait a minute.

00:37:49.000 Oh, I guess, yeah, you could say 50% are under the agenda.

00:37:52.000 That would be representative of the community that you're from.

00:37:55.000 They all add up to 50%, I guess.

00:37:59.000 Anyway, here's another clip.

00:38:00.000 Did I include that in the notes?

00:38:03.000 Where this woman said she admitted to the gay agenda?

00:38:06.000 I don't think I did.

00:38:07.000 I don't see it here.

00:38:08.000 It's this black woman, and she said, when I first started working at Disney, I was told they're really conservative and they don't like this and they don't like that and you can't swear and you can't do this.

00:38:21.000 But then I got there and they all totally supported my not-so-secrety gay agenda.

00:38:28.000 Maybe, oh, I sent it to you in a separate email.

00:38:30.000 That's what it is, Ryan.

00:38:31.000 Okay.

00:38:31.000 I knew I sent it to you.

00:38:34.000 My not-so-secret gay agenda.

00:38:38.000 And everyone at Disney loved it.

00:38:40.000 Well, they must have all hated the company policy then.

00:38:42.000 So that to me means those crazy theories about the red panda representing homosexuality.

00:38:48.000 Although I've heard people say it represents sexuality in general because it's a period.

00:38:53.000 Menstruating.

00:38:54.000 Because she goes to the bathroom and the red is there and she's embarrassed.

00:38:59.000 God damn it, you fucking perverts.

00:39:01.000 Can't you just do funny cartoons?

00:39:03.000 Like Tom and Jerry?

00:39:05.000 You want to see a cat beat up a mouse?

00:39:08.000 Yeah.

00:39:10.000 God, fuck it.

00:39:11.000 Try to kill each other every day.

00:39:13.000 Watch what happens when Tom catches Jerry.

00:39:15.000 It's like, I love Disney's content.

00:39:17.000 I grew up watching, you know, all of the classics.

00:39:20.000 They have been a huge, like, informative part of my life.

00:39:22.000 But at the same time, like, I worked at small studios most of my career.

00:39:26.000 And I'd heard, you know, who hear whispers.

00:39:28.000 Like, I'd heard things like, oh, you know, they won't let you show this at a Disney show.

00:39:32.000 And I'm like, okay.

00:39:33.000 So I was a little like sus when I started.

00:39:36.000 But then my experience was bafflingly the opposite of what I had.

00:39:42.000 It's such an LA way to talk, too.

00:39:44.000 Like, you know, crowdfunding.

00:39:46.000 It was so bafflingly different.

00:39:49.000 And I had a career.

00:39:50.000 I mean, we were working already.

00:39:51.000 They call that cape in.

00:39:53.000 When they do that at the end, then they're upspeaking.

00:40:00.000 So we cut her off there.

00:40:01.000 Go back.

00:40:03.000 Our leadership over there has been so.

00:40:05.000 Thank God there's closed captions and a sign language interpreter, just in case you're deaf and illiterate.

00:40:13.000 Like my not-at-all secret gay agenda.

00:40:15.000 And so I feel like attention deficit ordered kid can't read the fucking words or figure out the sign language and doesn't miss his movie.

00:40:26.000 Did you hear what she said?

00:40:28.000 My not-at-all secret gay agenda.

00:40:31.000 On my little pocket of like, you know, CrowdFamily Disney TVA, the showrunners were super welcoming.

00:40:38.000 Meredith Roberts and like our leadership over there has been so welcoming to like my like not at all secret gay agenda.

00:40:47.000 And so like I feel like I felt like...

00:40:50.000 Was she out there like pushing it on the crowds or was she like in an almost like she's a culturally appropriating annoying white woman?

00:40:58.000 I mean like maybe it was that way in the past but I guess like something must have happened in the last like like they're turning it around they're going hard and then all that like momentum that I felt like that sense of I don't have to be afraid to like let's have these two characters shut up.

00:41:16.000 I'm so sick of these people.

00:41:17.000 So sick of this shit.

00:41:20.000 Fucking it's like the most annoying girl in high school is now running the whole world.

00:41:27.000 It's the tyranny of the oppressed.

00:41:30.000 It's the tyranny of the shrill minority.

00:41:33.000 It's the tyranny of the rejected.

00:41:35.000 It's revenge of the nerds.

00:41:38.000 Revenge of the boring.

00:41:39.000 Over and over.

00:41:40.000 Can we get back to meritocracy, please?

00:41:44.000 Over and over and over.

00:41:45.000 The person running things used to be really qualified.

00:41:48.000 I don't think the family of five that's sitting on the fucking line for four hours going a magic, I mean, Space Mountain gives a fuck what you do in your bedroom.

00:41:58.000 Nice fucking thousand degree weather.

00:42:00.000 My wife and I are monogamous except during Lent where we have orgies.

00:42:07.000 That's 40 days a year.

00:42:10.000 We look forward to it all year and it's back to monogamy.

00:42:14.000 Dan Savage does that.

00:42:16.000 The gays are having trouble with monogamy in their marriages.

00:42:20.000 So they're coming up with all these hacks.

00:42:22.000 And one of them is like, you get a month off a year to go fuck other dudes.

00:42:29.000 They may say that.

00:42:30.000 They go fuck dudes every other.

00:42:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:33.000 You guys don't get it.

00:42:34.000 That's not the design here.

00:42:36.000 What is a month anyway?

00:42:37.000 What is what?

00:42:38.000 What is a month anyway?

00:42:41.000 Which month?

00:42:42.000 I was using the Aztec calendar.

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:44.000 It won't be February or the other months with 28 days.

00:42:48.000 It'll be February.

00:42:49.000 Every month with 28 days.

00:42:51.000 How's the Mets game going?

00:42:53.000 Still 0-0, bottom four.

00:42:54.000 Yes.

00:42:55.000 Oops.

00:42:56.000 All right.

00:42:57.000 So that's enough newsy shit.

00:42:59.000 Let's take one call so people can see what our people are like.

00:43:06.000 Does that say how long DeGrom's going to be out for?

00:43:11.000 15 stars last season.

00:43:14.000 I have a theory that he is super far on the autism spectrum.

00:43:20.000 Really?

00:43:22.000 Yeah, in every interview, it's like he's a fucking robot.

00:43:26.000 I like having fun, baseball, in school.

00:43:31.000 Are you going to do some of your funny imitations, Ryan?

00:43:33.000 Yep.

00:43:34.000 There's no calls so far.

00:43:35.000 Guys, call in.

00:43:36.000 The number is, if you're listening, 718-400-6959.

00:43:40.000 Yet again, that's 41869559.

00:43:42.000 Why don't you play the mailbag thing and we'll start opening letters.

00:43:47.000 Okay.

00:43:47.000 Oh, we have calls coming in now.

00:43:49.000 Okay.

00:43:49.000 Maybe we'll hit a little bit of this.

00:43:52.000 You are on air.

00:43:54.000 I'm here to have a conversation.

00:43:55.000 This is a fucking loser.

00:43:57.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.

00:44:00.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

00:44:02.000 You have one thing.

00:44:03.000 Thank you for calling.

00:44:04.000 It's great meeting from you.

00:44:06.000 Bye-bye.

00:44:07.000 All right, next call.

00:44:10.000 Did I show you the Gavs tab sign?

00:44:12.000 No.

00:44:14.000 I sent it to you.

00:44:15.000 I have it.

00:44:16.000 Pull it up here.

00:44:18.000 Thank you to the guy who made this.

00:44:20.000 He also sent you, Ryan.

00:44:22.000 He had his four-year-old draw.

00:44:24.000 We don't need to see commercials, thanks.

00:44:26.000 He had his four-year-old draw a Buzz Lightyear for you.

00:44:29.000 That's the sign that's on the door to the laundry room.

00:44:34.000 That's at my home bar now.

00:44:35.000 Look at that.

00:44:36.000 Conceived of something, and then it happened.

00:44:39.000 You brought it to fruition.

00:44:40.000 Oh, that's awesome.

00:44:41.000 Did I show you my pool table?

00:44:43.000 Did we talk about that?

00:44:44.000 You showed me.

00:44:45.000 I don't know what you showed Ryan.

00:44:46.000 Did we talk about this on the show?

00:44:50.000 We got a pool table last night, a small one, right?

00:44:52.000 Because we got kids, so it should be easy.

00:44:55.000 My wife's renovating the bathroom upstairs or having it renovated.

00:44:58.000 They pour cement on the floor to...

00:45:02.000 They think they've totally sealed it with all the silicon and everything.

00:45:05.000 Then they pour the cement on top.

00:45:07.000 Cement drips through the floor into the basement, covers the pool table.

00:45:11.000 From showing you the shower pan or the tub, yeah?

00:45:13.000 That's post-cleaning.

00:45:15.000 Go to the other one.

00:45:21.000 I called the pool guys.

00:45:22.000 I thought this might be kind of good, actually, because I thought the pool table was a little small.

00:45:27.000 I'll just write it off for my insurance and then get a new one.

00:45:30.000 And the contractor's like, I'll pay you everything you need.

00:45:32.000 It's on my insurance, and I don't want it to go up.

00:45:36.000 I had a flood at my old house, and we spent like $15,000 fixing up the front room perfectly.

00:45:44.000 It didn't do shit to my insurance.

00:45:48.000 there's fear of like using your insurance, I don't think it's justified.

00:45:52.000 Yeah, turn that mic on.

00:45:53.000 That was the only pool picture.

00:45:55.000 But we do have a doll?

00:45:56.000 No, I sent you another one.

00:45:57.000 I definitely did.

00:45:59.000 On my email, maybe.

00:46:01.000 No, it was a text.

00:46:02.000 I just checked him.

00:46:04.000 Okay.

00:46:05.000 I triple-checked, actually.

00:46:07.000 Do you want to show this doll?

00:46:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:10.000 Someone made a doll of me.

00:46:12.000 I can't bring it into the house.

00:46:14.000 I think they're making fun of me, but guess what?

00:46:16.000 You gave me a huge cock and a six-pack.

00:46:20.000 There's an Indian on my back with a baby Indian.

00:46:24.000 That was nice.

00:46:27.000 What are you wearing?

00:46:29.000 I seem to be wearing lace shorts.

00:46:33.000 Yeah.

00:46:35.000 Is there a tattoo on your leg?

00:46:37.000 There's a tattoo on your leg that says Gav?

00:46:39.000 Yes.

00:46:39.000 Cool?

00:46:40.000 Cool.

00:46:41.000 It's kind of inaccurate, but nice.

00:46:43.000 Nice touch.

00:46:45.000 What, I'm not Gav?

00:46:47.000 You don't have a tattoo.

00:46:47.000 This is Gav.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, you've got to see this picture.

00:46:49.000 This is a really good picture.

00:46:50.000 I've played pool on this brand new table.

00:46:52.000 Plus, we live in fucking Bavaria now in America.

00:46:56.000 So we've waited about five months for this pool table, and that's what it looked like today.

00:47:02.000 That's cement.

00:47:04.000 Wow.

00:47:04.000 It looks like a Pink Floyd album cover or something.

00:47:07.000 Yeah, that's pretty trippy.

00:47:09.000 We got a caller on the line.

00:47:10.000 But I called the pool guys, and they said, we'll just replace the felt.

00:47:13.000 It'll be like 600 bucks.

00:47:14.000 Yeah, slate's not going to get damaged.

00:47:16.000 Right.

00:47:17.000 Yeah.

00:47:17.000 Emily was all worried about the wood buckling.

00:47:19.000 And I go, it's not wood under there.

00:47:21.000 It's slate.

00:47:22.000 Yeah.

00:47:23.000 Fucking slate.

00:47:24.000 Slate.

00:47:26.000 Caller, you're on the line.

00:47:28.000 Hello.

00:47:29.000 What's going on there, Caller?

00:47:31.000 Hello.

00:47:31.000 Uhuru.

00:47:32.000 Uhuru.

00:47:34.000 I have a recommendation of someone who would make a fantastic, like, censored presents interview with Gav.

00:47:42.000 I'm not sure if you've heard of him.

00:47:45.000 Ryan might know him because more plates Moroccan actually did a video about his test levels a couple weeks ago.

00:47:51.000 His name's Andrew Tate.

00:47:54.000 Andrew Tate.

00:47:57.000 Did his ancestors live somewhere in between the bag and the butthole?

00:48:02.000 Yeah, in between Alberta and wherever you grew up in in England.

00:48:07.000 I don't know.

00:48:08.000 But no.

00:48:11.000 What's his name?

00:48:11.000 He actually had Andrew Tate, T-A-T-E.

00:48:16.000 Ah, okay.

00:48:17.000 So he actually had a beef with Scott Adams that, man, blew up into just crazy stuff.

00:48:30.000 So during when COVID first started, Scott Adams was completely on the whole mask up and quarantine and government.

00:48:41.000 And Andrew Tate on Twitter called him out on it and was like, hey, man, you're a coward.

00:48:46.000 Now you're trying to walk back all the stuff you said at the beginning of the pandemic.

00:48:50.000 Like you weren't a freaking lapdog for the left.

00:48:54.000 And now you're trying to flip the script, but you're a coward.

00:49:00.000 And they were just going back and forth on Twitter.

00:49:04.000 And it was just this huge ordeal.

00:49:06.000 So what Andrew did was he messaged his wife.

00:49:12.000 He started messaging Scott Adams' wife on Instagram and offered to fly her to his house.

00:49:21.000 And she was completely on board with it.

00:49:24.000 And right when that happened, he aired out all of the Instagram DMs he did with his wife on Twitter.

00:49:33.000 And now they're divorced.

00:49:36.000 That was his wife, that little girl?

00:49:38.000 He was with like a 23-year-old.

00:49:40.000 Well, to be honest, his wife.

00:49:42.000 The marriage was over way before that.

00:49:45.000 Yeah.

00:49:46.000 Yeah, that was his wife.

00:49:48.000 Your wife shouldn't be one MMA DM away from saying bye-bye.

00:49:54.000 Yeah, but I mean, it was really hilarious.

00:49:56.000 It's just like, women hate cowards.

00:49:58.000 Scott Adams is a coward.

00:50:00.000 Look how his wife talks to other men in her DMs.

00:50:03.000 You know what I guarantee happened with their marriage?

00:50:06.000 You fuck this beautiful, awesome 23-year-old.

00:50:08.000 The tits are amazing.

00:50:09.000 You haven't had tits like that in a while.

00:50:11.000 Her ass is like you can bounce a dime off it.

00:50:14.000 Then after about six months of jizzing, you're like, can you fucking shut up?

00:50:22.000 I don't care.

00:50:25.000 And then you're stuck with her.

00:50:27.000 And yeah, later details came out about that.

00:50:30.000 Apparently, she was screwing her ex-boyfriend and his flight instructor for part of the time.

00:50:39.000 And yeah, Scott Adams just got exposed as a total cuck.

00:50:44.000 I mean, it's just everyone who comments that on his Twitter just gets blocked immediately.

00:50:51.000 I got blocked immediately.

00:50:53.000 But it was really funny, like, back and forth.

00:50:56.000 All right.

00:50:57.000 Thanks for calling.

00:50:57.000 Juicy Gossip.

00:50:58.000 We're considering.

00:50:59.000 I are beware for his ex-wife.

00:51:01.000 You know, I wanted these sit-downs to be free of links because the show is so link-heavy.

00:51:07.000 But if we were interviewing him, we'd have to pull up all this shit, right?

00:51:14.000 You can't just talk about them like they're this sort of ethereal, non-existent, philosophical idea.

00:51:20.000 Sunglasses inside, corny.

00:51:24.000 Let's see.

00:51:25.000 Also, by the way, guys, you come up with these guests.

00:51:27.000 If that guy's been on Tom Segura's podcast, then he's mainstream.

00:51:32.000 No one mainstream is going to touch me with a million-foot pole.

00:51:36.000 He might be one of those guys that don't give a F. Zubi came and saw you.

00:51:43.000 Zubi?

00:51:43.000 Yeah, that was weird.

00:51:44.000 There's a group of people.

00:51:45.000 You were flying private jets out of Miami the other day.

00:51:48.000 Really?

00:51:49.000 Yeah.

00:51:51.000 We might get Zuby on the network.

00:51:53.000 But like John Joseph Cro-Mags, I texted him the other day.

00:51:56.000 Maybe he's got a new number, but no response.

00:51:58.000 Just moved to Florida.

00:52:00.000 Okay.

00:52:01.000 I'm trading for the triathlon.

00:52:02.000 Tom, you're online.

00:52:03.000 Oh, we should kick off the freebies.

00:52:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:07.000 So that was a long time to spend in freebie town.

00:52:11.000 We're going to go behind the paywall now.

00:52:13.000 You guys took advantage of us.

00:52:15.000 You used us.

00:52:15.000 You raped us, and we're done with you.

00:52:17.000 So, to everyone who is watching this or hearing this for free, go fuck yourself.

00:52:23.000 Go to censor.tv and unfuck yourself for $10 a month.

00:52:27.000 Get fired.

00:52:28.000 Get in trouble.

00:52:29.000 Be brave.

00:52:30.000 Unt never stop fighting this.

00:52:45.000 These times are kind of strange.

00:52:53.000 I kind of drive the pain from putting the shores because I look fast.

00:53:01.000 I just wanna come and do my.

00:53:04.000 But the maiden I'm gonna do said it's dangerous.

00:53:09.000 And I just wanna show ya what I can do back dangerous.

00:53:16.000 I'm just staying home and be lazy.

00:53:20.000 And you know I wanna die somewhere.

00:53:24.000 But I'm just staying home and see baby.

00:53:28.000 And you know I'm gonna buy two passions.

00:53:35.000 This was crazy.

00:53:39.000 It's at the water park.

00:53:40.000 It was going in every direction.

00:53:41.000 I had to clean up the toilet after.

00:53:43.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:53:44.000 I had four different jets.

00:53:45.000 It's got away from you.

00:53:47.000 With his foreskin peeled back and still choo-choo choo chew.

00:53:52.000 Is that one of those ones where you have to separate the p-hole?

00:53:55.000 I should have.

00:53:56.000 Apparently.

00:53:56.000 I've never separated the p-hole before.

00:53:58.000 Usually it works.

00:53:59.000 Maybe I didn't have to go piss bad enough so it didn't just come blasting out.

00:54:02.000 I have a Prince Albert, so I have a.

00:54:04.000 Do you?

00:54:05.000 Yeah.

00:54:06.000 What the fuck?

00:54:06.000 I didn't know this.

00:54:07.000 I've seen it.

00:54:08.000 Oh.

00:54:10.000 I'm not adverse to not pulling my penis out in the bar every now and then.

00:54:15.000 So do you still have the actual jewelry in your dick?

00:54:18.000 Not right.

00:54:19.000 I don't have it in the second, but I put it in probably three weeks out of the month.

00:54:25.000 For old times?

00:54:26.000 Three weeks out of the month?

00:54:27.000 I've had it since like 1991.

00:54:29.000 So when we're sitting at the bar and I'm talking to you, you have jewelry in your dick.

00:54:34.000 And when you piss, does it come out different holes?

00:54:37.000 Well, it'll drip out of the bottom.

00:54:41.000 Like right where your head ends and it gets a shaft, it'll drip out of there.

00:54:44.000 And then it hits the ring and it goes immediately right back into a stream.

00:54:49.000 Oh, and what if the ring isn't there?

00:54:50.000 Does it come out of two holes?

00:54:53.000 It'll still drip out of the bottom a little bit.

00:54:56.000 Underneath.

00:54:58.000 Hey, Gavin and Maddie, have you guys ever celebrated Tartan Day?

00:55:00.000 It's basically Pat's for Scots Americans.

00:55:02.000 Great way to get fucked up.

00:55:03.000 Oh, hi.

00:55:04.000 Yeah, I think there's a big parade in New York.

00:55:06.000 The Tartan Day Parade.

00:55:07.000 Yeah, it's fun.

00:55:09.000 I remember they were going to have Sean Connery fronting it once, and my grandmother was really pissed off.

00:55:14.000 She goes, he's as Irish as the pegs of Doggerty.

00:55:18.000 He has a tattoo of Scotland forever on his forearm.

00:55:20.000 Oh, really?

00:55:21.000 Yeah.

00:55:22.000 He's got that weird fucking accent.

00:55:25.000 Maddie's got some bad news.

00:55:27.000 Oh, by the way.

00:55:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:30.000 I was hurt yesterday.

00:55:35.000 So you're on a Triumph message board.

00:55:37.000 Yeah, I'm on Facebook.

00:55:39.000 Okay.

00:55:39.000 I'm on this, you know, Triumph Tiger 1200 parts in sales.

00:55:46.000 And there was a guy up there.

00:55:47.000 He said, if, you know, if anybody needs Triumph Tiger parts, let me know.

00:55:51.000 So I was probably like the fifth or sixth person that was in there, like, communicating with the guy.

00:55:57.000 And, you know, he sold me on it.

00:56:00.000 He had pictures of both parts of the ship.

00:56:02.000 He sold you on what?

00:56:03.000 Well, he sent me.

00:56:04.000 I said, well, let me see the picture.

00:56:05.000 I wanted to see underneath.

00:56:06.000 But the viewers don't know what you're talking about.

00:56:08.000 Oh, the seat on my triumph.

00:56:10.000 You wanted to get a new seat?

00:56:11.000 Yes.

00:56:12.000 I wanted to get a new seat.

00:56:14.000 The top is all, I've got 40,000 miles on that bike now, so it's starting to deteriorate.

00:56:20.000 So, you know, new, they go from like 300 bucks to like 699 bucks.

00:56:25.000 So me being Scottish and cheap, I'm going to go buy a used one.

00:56:30.000 I should have just went and bought a fucking new one because the guy beat me for $180 fucking dollars.

00:56:35.000 So he took your money and you sent it via what?

00:56:38.000 Zell.

00:56:39.000 I zelled it to him.

00:56:40.000 Now, I'm new to all this stuff.

00:56:41.000 Yeah, I'm not too familiar with it either.

00:56:43.000 It's like...

00:56:44.000 Is it insured?

00:56:45.000 No, it's almost like a cash-to-cash transaction.

00:56:48.000 Like, if I handed him money.

00:56:50.000 Is he right about that, Ryan?

00:56:51.000 Yeah.

00:56:52.000 That's my understanding.

00:56:54.000 It's called the P2P.

00:56:56.000 That chemicals to make personal meth.

00:57:00.000 But it's called person-to-person.

00:57:03.000 So it's not, I don't think it's not, most institutions won't cover it.

00:57:07.000 Ryan's a big Venmo guy.

00:57:08.000 Ryan, have you ever sent money and then it was wrong and you got it back?

00:57:12.000 The only time they'll do it is if you send it to the wrong person.

00:57:15.000 Yeah, I think that's it, and then I stopped it.

00:57:20.000 Unintentionally sent it to the wrong person.

00:57:22.000 Right, so that's still this wrong person.

00:57:26.000 So you're like, well, who are you sending it to?

00:57:28.000 I'll be like, I don't know.

00:57:29.000 Someone with a bike.

00:57:30.000 I got to find him.

00:57:32.000 So it's like, oh, send it to my partner's email.

00:57:35.000 Because you just sent an email, like, attached it to the email and went, it was it.

00:57:40.000 So you got played for $180.

00:57:44.000 Got suckered by, from what I understand, a guy's 68 years old.

00:57:48.000 He lives in North Carolina.

00:57:49.000 His name is Ron Ron Ron Ron Ron.

00:57:52.000 And then he just blocked me.

00:57:54.000 Whoa.

00:57:55.000 So you're fucked.

00:57:56.000 Because the reason I bring this up, because I've been there before, you just lie in bed and you steam.

00:58:01.000 I slept two hours and 56 minutes last night.

00:58:05.000 Wow.

00:58:05.000 Because I was steaming.

00:58:09.000 I was pacing.

00:58:10.000 It was bad.

00:58:10.000 And the worst part is, because I had a guy rip me off with the Budweiser bag, and then we had a baby monster nice enough to get a cool one.

00:58:19.000 And I finally track him down, and I find his house on Google Maps, whatever, and it's like it's worth 40 grand.

00:58:27.000 It's barely a house in the middle of nowhere.

00:58:29.000 And I'm like, what am I going to do?

00:58:32.000 Sue this guy?

00:58:33.000 Yeah, this guy lived in a trailer park, and it was a pretty new one because his daughter had just paid $125,000 for it.

00:58:40.000 Oh, really?

00:58:41.000 Yeah.

00:58:41.000 That must be a nice fucking trailer.

00:58:44.000 Yeah, in the trailer park.

00:58:46.000 This guy loves you.

00:58:46.000 He's gay.

00:58:47.000 Yeah, see, that's what I meant when I was saying earlier.

00:58:49.000 Like, when gay jokes are just sort of like weird.

00:58:52.000 Love you, Maddie.

00:58:53.000 I'm gay.

00:58:53.000 Burton Stantal Cummings.

00:58:55.000 Yeah.

00:58:55.000 Life are the gay guys that love me.

00:58:57.000 That's not how we do gay jokes.

00:59:00.000 $100.

00:59:01.000 How you do gay jokes is it has to be remotely plausible that you want to fuck the guy.

00:59:06.000 So there's some possible, like, how much of this is a joke?

00:59:11.000 It has to sound believable.

00:59:12.000 When it's just like, I love you, I'm gay.

00:59:14.000 Shut up.

00:59:15.000 My wife and I love your show married for poker years.

00:59:20.000 What does that say?

00:59:21.000 For over three years.

00:59:25.000 Over three years.

00:59:26.000 It's not even a drop in the bucket.

00:59:27.000 You're an amateur, dude.

00:59:28.000 How do you even have time to do it?

00:59:30.000 You're still getting over the honeymoon.

00:59:32.000 I want many kids.

00:59:32.000 She's from Germany.

00:59:33.000 Uh-oh.

00:59:34.000 She likes kids, but well, that's a problem.

00:59:38.000 I get this hesitant vibe.

00:59:39.000 Misplaced maternal instinct for sure is visible in the dog, goats, and chickens we have.

00:59:43.000 How can I convince her that y'all just jizen her, dude?

00:59:46.000 Fucking jizzen her.

00:59:47.000 Is she like...

00:59:48.000 I've heard this a million times, especially from Europeans.

00:59:51.000 I wonder if she's German, like German proper, like raised there.

00:59:54.000 Oh, she is.

00:59:55.000 Because their way of talking, it's so frightened.

00:59:59.000 It sounds like they're yelling all the time.

01:00:01.000 They might just be missing.

01:00:02.000 And they're so mean.

01:00:04.000 I'm not interested in speaking with you because I think you tend to have a slightly lower IQ than me, so I'm struggling to sort of dumb down my quotes.

01:00:12.000 So we're going to have to end this conversation.

01:00:14.000 I have to stay five meters away from you.

01:00:16.000 Too honest.

01:00:17.000 They call me Peter.

01:00:19.000 Somebody sent this in.

01:00:20.000 It's a bird which is the bald eagle on a radio station.

01:00:24.000 Stereotyping food racist.

01:00:26.000 Food racist.

01:00:27.000 Okay, Cole.

01:00:28.000 You want the four-packed Knotts Berry Farm?

01:00:30.000 What's a food racist?

01:00:32.000 Well, God bless America and the bird which is the bald eagle.

01:00:35.000 Thank you, guys.

01:00:35.000 There you go.

01:00:37.000 Thank you so much.

01:00:40.000 I love when he says that with a southern accent.

01:00:42.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:00:44.000 That sounds like something Rodney do during a toast.

01:00:46.000 That's right.

01:00:46.000 Hello, Liz.

01:00:48.000 That sounds like a good show.

01:00:50.000 Heidi and Frank joking about food racists.

01:00:56.000 Caller, I've been waiting for a bit here.

01:00:59.000 Oh, shit.

01:01:00.000 Okay, there we go.

01:01:01.000 Tom, 610, you're on the line.

01:01:04.000 What up, fellas?

01:01:05.000 Happy Thursday.

01:01:06.000 What's happening?

01:01:07.000 Happy Thursday to you.

01:01:09.000 Nada.

01:01:10.000 All right.

01:01:10.000 I have a funny question for Gavin.

01:01:12.000 Gav, LC Sound Systems had a 20th anniversary party recently.

01:01:17.000 I assume you were not invited to that.

01:01:20.000 I feel like James Murphy's borderline pilled.

01:01:24.000 Give any input there?

01:01:25.000 He seems almost cool, but obviously he's been around too much corny Brooklyn artist garbage for too long.

01:01:32.000 Yeah, that's got to seep into your skull.

01:01:34.000 I mean, if you're red-pilled in that scene and he's talking about James Murphy LCD sound system, the sort of early hipster electronic music people from the early aughts who became very successful, those guys are always pretty funny and kind of tough in a weird way.

01:01:51.000 Not tough like they're going to beat you up, but kind of edgy.

01:01:54.000 Like we signed this band Vietnam, and I think they were all junkies.

01:02:00.000 And James ran a record label too, and he emailed us and he says, don't make the same mistake Nixon made.

01:02:11.000 Get out of Vietnam now.

01:02:16.000 And he was right.

01:02:17.000 They were a fucking mess.

01:02:17.000 Is that Jimmy from Murphy's Law?

01:02:19.000 No, no, no.

01:02:20.000 Someone else?

01:02:21.000 Yeah, that LCD sound system, that hipster dance music.

01:02:27.000 But yeah, those guys do seem like they're good people.

01:02:31.000 But, you know, you check, sometimes I check up on these old friends and I check the Instagram and it's like, stop killing black people, please.

01:02:41.000 You're like, et too, Brute?

01:02:44.000 Like, you fell for all this shit?

01:02:46.000 You were funny.

01:02:47.000 You told racist jokes that made me uncomfortable.

01:02:50.000 And now you're like, I swear to God, if I see a fucking Nazi, I'm going to just burn him alive.

01:02:56.000 What come?

01:02:57.000 And the stupid, even like ex-girlfriends I dig up or ex-babysitters we had for my kids that were super funny and tattooed and hilarious.

01:03:08.000 And then I see their Instagram.

01:03:10.000 It's just like every single person in fucking New York.

01:03:12.000 The only ones who aren't complete idiots in Manhattan, as far as people I used to know, are cops.

01:03:21.000 I think people in New York, their Instagram, that's just all virtue signaling.

01:03:25.000 That might not be necessarily what their private opinions are.

01:03:29.000 Well, I think what happens after a while is the two meld.

01:03:33.000 Oh, I'm sure.

01:03:34.000 There's some frost pollination there.

01:03:35.000 You know, like British people, when they're working class and they're embarrassed of their East London accent, they start doing a middle class accent.

01:03:43.000 And then you go, do your real accent.

01:03:45.000 Then when you grow up, and they can't do it anymore.

01:03:46.000 Yeah, it's like my mother's family was nine brothers and sisters or something like that.

01:03:51.000 Maybe ten one passed away.

01:03:54.000 And like some of them are closer to my age.

01:03:56.000 Like I have an aunt that's not much older than me.

01:03:59.000 And the first four or five kids, they had like a different broken down, like slummy Glasgow accent.

01:04:07.000 And the other ones are a little more exact same story as my dad's family.

01:04:11.000 A little bit posh.

01:04:12.000 Yeah.

01:04:12.000 My aunt Irene, she would be like, because they were driving around Glasgow once and the family, the Aunt Irene would pretend they were more wealthy than they were.

01:04:24.000 She was living over in Bears Den.

01:04:26.000 Yeah, and so my cousin was driving around with her in Glasgow and he's like, oh, I want to see the house you grew up in, Mom.

01:04:31.000 The garbles.

01:04:32.000 And it's a shithole.

01:04:35.000 But she said, no, we will not be doing that.

01:04:41.000 The McKinnises only move forwards.

01:04:44.000 We do not move backwards.

01:04:47.000 And that accent is a totally fake accent.

01:04:49.000 My dad has it.

01:04:50.000 He has it like, how are you, my boy?

01:04:52.000 Absolutely A1.

01:04:54.000 And I'm like, what are you, from England?

01:04:56.000 And he goes, I have to speak like this because I've Learned over the years, I have to enunciate, or people don't understand me.

01:05:05.000 And then when he's asleep, he's like, See you, you'll fucking body.

01:05:09.000 So well, he seriously screams out loud in his sleep.

01:05:13.000 I don't want to go right before he retired.

01:05:18.000 He hated going to work so much that he would say that in his sleep, like when the alarm came out, I don't want to go.

01:05:26.000 That's got to be sleep.

01:05:27.000 That's got to be torture.

01:05:30.000 Thanks for calling.

01:05:31.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

01:05:33.000 I forgot that was a caller.

01:05:34.000 I forgot we had a call on the way.

01:05:36.000 Caught up in the old Scottish show.

01:05:39.000 Got another one here.

01:05:40.000 727, you're a line.

01:05:43.000 What's going on, caller?

01:05:48.000 Hello.

01:05:49.000 American people, Ribbon America.

01:05:54.000 Promise.

01:05:56.000 You guys know this.

01:05:57.000 I'm doing the promise of Ribald America.

01:06:00.000 Not everybody else does.

01:06:03.000 You put the bomb and the bombs and bombs and bombs.

01:06:05.000 People talking about what he was about to say.

01:06:08.000 727, you're on the line.

01:06:10.000 You're amazing.

01:06:11.000 You're amazing.

01:06:12.000 Bite up.

01:06:13.000 Burner?

01:06:14.000 You want to talk about hot water or something like that?

01:06:17.000 We didn't have hot water back then.

01:06:22.000 The only thing we ate was cookies.

01:06:25.000 Yeah, they call them cookies because if you have any cookies, they're going to get taken.

01:06:30.000 So better bite them suckers while I last.

01:06:34.000 Last at the breakfast table in the morning, you got your cookies.

01:06:37.000 I love kookies.

01:06:39.000 Caller, come on, man.

01:06:41.000 Come on, dude.

01:06:42.000 He hung up.

01:06:43.000 Someone talk to Teddy Bear.

01:06:45.000 Samantha.

01:06:47.000 720.

01:06:48.000 Hello.

01:06:48.000 Hi.

01:06:49.000 Hi.

01:06:49.000 What's going on there, Samantha?

01:06:52.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:06:53.000 How's it going?

01:06:53.000 Good.

01:06:54.000 I'm right here.

01:06:56.000 So I called in because I've seen on the news that a lot of states have these new emphasis bills.

01:07:04.000 California has AB2223 and Maryland has, I think it's 669.

01:07:14.000 And basically, you can kill your baby for up to 28 days.

01:07:18.000 And the way they're sneaking this in is that they call them perinatal miscarriages.

01:07:25.000 And most people think that perinatal means like stillborn.

01:07:29.000 It just means the first month of birth or the first month of life.

01:07:34.000 You know what's nuts?

01:07:35.000 I think that's the hill to die on.

01:07:37.000 And I wanted to know your opinion.

01:07:39.000 Can I interject this real quick?

01:07:40.000 So Dan Hollow just had a pro-life rallies with the church.

01:07:46.000 And they had an FBI raid for the people that were protesting against abortion because they confiscated or broke into a materials dumpster outside.

01:07:58.000 They found over 110 babies.

01:08:02.000 And so the FBI stormed in on them for obtaining this evidence of just dead babies.

01:08:10.000 Well, yeah, I heard about that woman, but it was five.

01:08:12.000 She had five fetuses in her house.

01:08:15.000 And we talked about this on the show.

01:08:16.000 The angle was, this woman pretends she's pro-life, but she has fucking dead babies in her house.

01:08:23.000 And it's like, yeah, she confiscated them from the people as evidence to show that these fetuses are being murdered.

01:08:30.000 Now, I can't understand how they could say 20 days after it leaves the womb.

01:08:36.000 Yeah, we haven't even started to get that.

01:08:38.000 Unfortunately, I know someone dear and close to me who was at a very young age, like preprevescent, 12, 13 years old, who ended up having a late term, like almost the baby's coming out and they put like a needle in the head.

01:08:56.000 Why didn't she get an abortion earlier?

01:08:58.000 She hit it.

01:09:00.000 So was she 12?

01:09:02.000 13?

01:09:03.000 Somewhere around there.

01:09:04.000 So remember this, was it Northam, Ralph Northam, where they said, because I remember the Giuliani said, sorry, Cuomo said, you can have an abortion up to nine months.

01:09:18.000 Trudeau, and then that's the law in New York.

01:09:20.000 Trudeau made that law for all of Canada.

01:09:23.000 You can have a baby up until nine months.

01:09:25.000 And then obviously people start going, wait a minute, what about nine months in one minute?

01:09:30.000 What about when it comes out?

01:09:32.000 And then Ralph, I think it was Ralph Northern, who said, well, that would be a discussion you'd have with your physician, and you guys would decide what was best.

01:09:40.000 And everyone freaked out about that.

01:09:42.000 Then we didn't really hear anything after that.

01:09:45.000 I had assumed that the political left went, okay, I guess that's an area we should probably avoid.

01:09:52.000 But now, according to this caller, things are way fucking worse than Ralph Northam's glitch.

01:10:00.000 If we're talking about killing a 30-day-old baby.

01:10:04.000 Yeah, that's exclusively murder.

01:10:08.000 That should be...

01:10:09.000 Like, my goal with abortion is to get the argument down to, like, 20 weeks.

01:10:16.000 There has to be at least seven, I think.

01:10:18.000 If whatever is the earliest it could survive outside the womb, I think life begins at conception.

01:10:24.000 But let's at least get the debate down to that area where it couldn't survive outside the womb.

01:10:31.000 Now they're doing the opposite.

01:10:32.000 They're extending it 30.

01:10:34.000 How the fuck do you kill it with a ball peen hammer?

01:10:37.000 Throw it in bleach?

01:10:38.000 You can't.

01:10:40.000 So that's the kicker.

01:10:41.000 It's lack of aid that you're allowed to kill it.

01:10:46.000 So essentially, you can let your baby starve and die of exposure.

01:10:50.000 That's how it's legal.

01:10:51.000 I mean, if you have it out already, just give it up for adoption.

01:10:53.000 People need to start taking up arms.

01:10:56.000 Exactly.

01:10:56.000 And I don't want to hear excuses about those babies anymore either.

01:11:01.000 You've been raped, you know it, and you should take a Plan B pill immediately.

01:11:05.000 And that motherfucker should be hung in the streets.

01:11:08.000 How do you make that decision?

01:11:11.000 Like, the rape thing is totally exaggerated.

01:11:14.000 And they exaggerate it to ridiculous proportions.

01:11:17.000 What if the father rapes the daughter and she's 12?

01:11:20.000 Can she have an abortion?

01:11:21.000 And you're like, that's a pretty good time where you'd think they probably should.

01:11:27.000 But why are you letting that freak occurrence, which I believe has happened in America once, defining the laws for the abortion?

01:11:38.000 That's incredible, Carl.

01:11:39.000 In Louisiana, they track how often just wanting an abortion for no reason is done.

01:11:46.000 It's 57%.

01:11:49.000 And what do you mean by no reason?

01:11:52.000 Like, she's a mother.

01:11:54.000 It's not a rape.

01:11:56.000 She's not underage, like, 14 or 15.

01:11:59.000 There's nothing wrong with the baby and no reason to abort it other than I don't want to be a mom.

01:12:04.000 I'm not a husband.

01:12:05.000 You know, Howard Stern always talks about how it's, and you can tell he means black.

01:12:08.000 But he goes, these poor women, they're having cracked babies, and you want them to keep the babies.

01:12:14.000 Then those babies end up being criminals and they end up going to jail.

01:12:18.000 Believe it or not, the statistics show it the opposite way.

01:12:22.000 If I remember, I've heard conversation a few times.

01:12:25.000 If I remember correctly, the majority of them are upper middle-class white females.

01:12:32.000 Yes.

01:12:32.000 And they often already have a kid.

01:12:35.000 And they go, I don't feel like one.

01:12:36.000 I know a woman who was about to get married.

01:12:39.000 She got pregnant.

01:12:41.000 She wasn't quite ready then.

01:12:43.000 So she had an abortion.

01:12:45.000 And then she got pregnant like four months after she was married.

01:12:48.000 So the kid was murdered for being like eight months early.

01:12:52.000 Early.

01:12:53.000 Sorry.

01:12:54.000 All right.

01:12:55.000 Thanks for letting me call.

01:12:56.000 I do appreciate your time.

01:12:58.000 I think I'm surprised that we talked about Civil War, about MAGA, and they're shitting their pants about J6, but this isn't a topic for Civil War, baby murder.

01:13:11.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:13:12.000 That's more than that.

01:13:13.000 Thanks for calling.

01:13:14.000 That's probably the heaviest call we've ever had on the show.

01:13:16.000 I didn't realize that was happening.

01:13:17.000 Now, the next question, of course, is, how often does that happen?

01:13:21.000 Because that's the left defense, which is a weird defense.

01:13:24.000 That's like saying, it's okay to fuck babies.

01:13:26.000 It's not illegal.

01:13:27.000 And then you get mad and they go, almost nobody does this.

01:13:30.000 Calm down.

01:13:32.000 We just don't want it to over-incarcerate.

01:13:35.000 Actually, this is worse.

01:13:36.000 Killing a baby is worse than fucking a baby.

01:13:39.000 You don't fuck with children.

01:13:40.000 Period.

01:13:41.000 Well, we've gone beyond.

01:13:42.000 We've gone beyond with...

01:13:44.000 We've gone beyond not feeding them or slapping them around.

01:13:48.000 Yeah, I'm going to starve them to death.

01:13:49.000 I'm going to starve a baby to death.

01:13:52.000 So wait a minute.

01:13:54.000 What's negligence now?

01:13:57.000 It's fucking homicide.

01:13:58.000 Yeah, it's homicide.

01:13:59.000 I remember seeing a vegan couple whose baby starved to death because they gave it an all-vegan diet, and they went to prison.

01:14:08.000 Is that not illegal anymore?

01:14:10.000 Well, it would be children.

01:14:11.000 At least in those two states she mentioned, right?

01:14:14.000 Wow.

01:14:14.000 They may have not gotten convicted of murder.

01:14:18.000 Maybe involuntary manslaughter because they thought they were feeding it.

01:14:20.000 Right.

01:14:21.000 You know what a lot of this is, too?

01:14:24.000 We're the pussy generation.

01:14:25.000 We're in weak times.

01:14:26.000 And I think a lot of news is just like people just can't handle it.

01:14:32.000 That's what happened with South Africa.

01:14:33.000 Everyone goes, why did we turn our backs on South Africa?

01:14:35.000 I'll tell you why.

01:14:36.000 Because we saw some of the murders and we went, ew, and changed the channel.

01:14:43.000 Because it was too gross.

01:14:44.000 The bubble that's sugar-coated, and it's America.

01:14:47.000 Yeah.

01:14:48.000 I mean, they can't handle the truth.

01:14:50.000 I think this story will die because your average person and news has become something everyone watches at dinner and stuff you're eating.

01:14:58.000 And the average person cannot fucking handle the idea of a 28-year-old baby being murdered.

01:15:04.000 I don't want to handle it, but we have to.

01:15:07.000 All right, that's going to become a thread on the show.

01:15:09.000 We have to keep updating that because that is.

01:15:12.000 One, they're too level absorbed in themselves.

01:15:14.000 And second, they could think about it and go, oh my God, that's, I can't feel, I can't even picture that.

01:15:20.000 And they just brush it off.

01:15:22.000 But they've never seen like the dead baby right in front of them.

01:15:25.000 Yeah.

01:15:26.000 Yeah, I've always said you should never do anything you can't Google image.

01:15:29.000 Don't eat meat if you can't Google image an animal dying or being processed or whatever.

01:15:34.000 And don't have an abortion if you can't Google image it.

01:15:37.000 Most people can't Google image abortion.

01:15:41.000 Wait a minute.

01:15:41.000 What is this?

01:15:42.000 Is this feminist?

01:15:43.000 Are we supporting women's need for freedom?

01:15:47.000 I thought the whole thing was my body, my choice.

01:15:50.000 It's not even in your fucking body anymore.

01:15:51.000 Right, but what's it now?

01:15:52.000 My living room anymore.

01:15:55.000 My bedroom, my choice.

01:15:56.000 You're responsible for that body, but it's not in your body anymore.

01:16:01.000 You did the hard part.

01:16:03.000 Holy shit.

01:16:04.000 Gavin, I know you're a fan of buying lingerie for the wife as I am.

01:16:07.000 I check out this company on Instagram.

01:16:08.000 I have searched far and wide the internet, and this one really speaks to my boner.

01:16:13.000 Worbless lingerie.

01:16:16.000 Also, why isn't all lingerie crotchless?

01:16:18.000 The best part of it.

01:16:19.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:16:21.000 It's not like she's going to be walking around for a few hours in her fucking panties.

01:16:27.000 Some of them have snaps.

01:16:28.000 One time I bought my wife a corset, and it took forever to arrive, like five weeks.

01:16:34.000 And we finally got it, and I thought my daughter had bought it, and I go into a room, I go, this is not appropriate.

01:16:43.000 And she goes, that's not mine.

01:16:45.000 I didn't buy that.

01:16:45.000 I'm like, okay.

01:16:48.000 Leave me the room.

01:16:49.000 That's embarrassing.

01:16:50.000 You know the problem with these, this kind of lingerie?

01:16:52.000 You give it to your wife, and it's a pile of spaghetti.

01:16:55.000 That's just garter belts and sockings.

01:16:57.000 And she's got, no, no, but look at the top ones.

01:16:59.000 Those are complicated.

01:17:00.000 And now she's got to sort of untangle it and figure out what goes where.

01:17:06.000 It looks sexy as hell, but you know, it's the visual.

01:17:11.000 Yeah.

01:17:12.000 Well, when you're married, you don't get it every day, so when it finally comes around, you're like, ooh, la la.

01:17:21.000 I want to put some sprinkles, chocolate sprinkles on my ice cream.

01:17:26.000 Can I get a beer?

01:17:27.000 Sure.

01:17:27.000 Gotcha.

01:17:28.000 Get another callie here.

01:17:29.000 Baby monster calling in 970.

01:17:31.000 You're on the fucking line.

01:17:32.000 Go ahead, 970.

01:17:35.000 Let's go.

01:17:36.000 Let's go.

01:17:37.000 TikTok.

01:17:38.000 TikTok, boys.

01:17:39.000 TikTok.

01:17:40.000 TikTok, Tika.

01:17:43.000 Hey, I married a Sikh.

01:17:45.000 Oh, you make me seek.

01:17:48.000 Listen, dude, I don't want to, unless you want to know my details.

01:17:54.000 I know you said you struggled with your marriage.

01:17:56.000 You came very, very close to divorce, and it discarded away.

01:18:00.000 How'd you do it?

01:18:01.000 Do you mind sharing that?

01:18:02.000 Or do you want to hear my shit?

01:18:04.000 Are you about to get divorced?

01:18:07.000 I don't think so, but we're kind of in the shitter.

01:18:11.000 How long have you been married?

01:18:14.000 Well, that's complicated.

01:18:15.000 So, like I said, if you don't want to hear the details, I would rather hear from Gavin.

01:18:19.000 It's not complicated.

01:18:20.000 Just tell us how long.

01:18:21.000 Are you legally married?

01:18:24.000 Yeah, well, okay, so she's Sikh.

01:18:27.000 Her parents were not cool with any sort of, like, you know how they live, right?

01:18:32.000 So when she told them, like, a white guy, I liked this white guy, they basically disowned her for a period of about eight years.

01:18:42.000 It's weird how you move to a country and it's for Boden to assimilate with the locals.

01:18:48.000 Like, imagine you move to Japan.

01:18:49.000 It's called racism.

01:18:50.000 And you're like, I don't want any fucking nips coming over here in my American house here in Tokyo.

01:18:55.000 Ooh, that's a hate crime right there.

01:18:57.000 Well, I mean, that's the problem.

01:18:58.000 They didn't assimilate well, but they're actually pretty cool.

01:19:01.000 Now, for about eight years, it was like, you know, the princess bride story.

01:19:07.000 I ended up like stealing her from her home and she lived with me.

01:19:11.000 And for about eight years, we were kind of on the lamb.

01:19:15.000 They didn't talk to her.

01:19:16.000 And then finally, we did legally get married, but only like, you know, on my side of the family was involved and all that shit.

01:19:24.000 That's married.

01:19:25.000 Fast forward about like another five or seven years.

01:19:29.000 We have a four-year-old now.

01:19:30.000 And then when we had our first child, they finally came around.

01:19:34.000 You know, they snapped out of their, whatever you want to call it.

01:19:38.000 And they came around.

01:19:41.000 They like me and all this shit.

01:19:42.000 But I don't know, between COVID and the whole career paths that we have and all family life and all that shit, it's gone south.

01:19:57.000 So trying to preserve what I have and try to keep it together.

01:20:04.000 So you got one kid and he's four.

01:20:07.000 Yeah.

01:20:08.000 Go on a shitty, cheap vacation.

01:20:11.000 I don't know where you are, but Jersey Shore, Dollywood.

01:20:14.000 Go somewhere, not expensive, kind of lame.

01:20:18.000 Camping is a lot to ask for, especially with a four-year-old.

01:20:22.000 But just some stupid place.

01:20:23.000 If you're into baseball, Cooperstown, where are you in the world?

01:20:28.000 Just not Disneyland.

01:20:30.000 We're in the southwest.

01:20:31.000 We live in Arizona.

01:20:33.000 Nice.

01:20:34.000 Off the A Mountain, Hoover Dam.

01:20:36.000 Yeah, there's all kinds of cool shit to do over there.

01:20:40.000 You know, I would get so busy sometimes and other things.

01:20:44.000 And my wife and I would spend time together after not seeing each other for like weeks.

01:20:49.000 And she'd go, oh yeah, I forgot I like you.

01:20:53.000 So what happened was the dynamic changed.

01:20:56.000 Like when we were kind of eloping, I was the kind of the breadwinner and the provider and that kind of thing.

01:21:05.000 And when her family basically abandoned her, I was, you know, I was a top priority.

01:21:13.000 But then she's very ambitious and she eventually became more successful than me.

01:21:20.000 And then the roles kind of split now.

01:21:23.000 She became kind of the breadwinner and I took a back seat.

01:21:27.000 And I listened to, I don't know, about a week ago, you talked about how, you know, guys who marry women who have good jobs and shit, you know, they deal with insecurity.

01:21:37.000 I think I had that problem.

01:21:39.000 Well, I hear you guys aren't exactly drowning in blowjobs.

01:21:44.000 Dude, you got to be.

01:21:45.000 Don't even go there.

01:21:46.000 Yeah.

01:21:47.000 What do you want?

01:21:48.000 It's a problem.

01:21:48.000 She comes home with her OR scrubs on in her briefcase.

01:21:51.000 You're there in a house.

01:21:53.000 No, no, it's not in the middle of the day.

01:21:53.000 A long beard with a bowl of cheeriest.

01:21:57.000 We're in the same.

01:21:58.000 We're in the same industry, and I actually have more.

01:22:01.000 I have by leagues, leagues, leagues beyond.

01:22:05.000 Let's put it this way.

01:22:06.000 We're in the same industry, and I have much more talent, much more experience, and much more savvy.

01:22:12.000 But I'm a white male, and she's a Sikh woman.

01:22:15.000 What's the industry?

01:22:18.000 Airline.

01:22:19.000 Ah, okay.

01:22:20.000 Did you see on the show yesterday they're talking about Boeing with tequila bottles all over the fucking place because they were marrying Mexicans?

01:22:29.000 No.

01:22:30.000 No, I thought that was fucking interesting in hell, but no, she's got a high-paying job, you know, because she fits the demographic.

01:22:37.000 I'm not saying it's affirmative action.

01:22:39.000 I mean, she's definitely driven and all that shit, but it's a factor.

01:22:43.000 I think, buddy, you got to just take charge in the relationships.

01:22:46.000 I think a lot of women, they sort of put out these divorce feelers to see if you're in it for the long haul.

01:22:53.000 And you got to be like, no.

01:22:57.000 Did she get mad because her parents excommunicated her?

01:23:01.000 Like, did she blame you?

01:23:03.000 That's always been a contention.

01:23:05.000 Like, I left my family for you.

01:23:07.000 I left my family for you kind of thing.

01:23:08.000 You know, that has always been a thing.

01:23:10.000 But then when they came around, like, they loved, her family loved me.

01:23:15.000 She's always been a bitch to my family.

01:23:18.000 Right.

01:23:19.000 I think that mentality has always been there.

01:23:23.000 It's kind of a scar, right?

01:23:24.000 But I'll take my licks.

01:23:31.000 I haven't been the best father or husband because when she took the lead role in the parenting and kind of thing, she makes all the cash.

01:23:41.000 I still provide and I still pay all the shit.

01:23:44.000 But, you know, I took a huge hit when COVID rolled around and I was out of a job and I got super, you know, into my vices and stuff and just kind of put, you know, pay attention to the mess and I'll wake up and drink from the time I get up to the time I get down.

01:24:04.000 When COVID hit around, I didn't drink a glass of water.

01:24:06.000 I drank beer any waking moment, it was all beer from the bottom.

01:24:12.000 Would you be wasted like bedwetting and slurring your words?

01:24:15.000 No, not like you.

01:24:16.000 I have a good fucking bladder and all that, but I would, and I didn't even really get drunk.

01:24:21.000 It was just like, you know, I would consider.

01:24:23.000 Yeah, that's fine.

01:24:24.000 That's all perfectly legal.

01:24:26.000 I think what's happening here is you, and we've Turned into the dating site here.

01:24:32.000 You are putting your own insecurities onto yourself in this relationship, and you're pushing her away with all of this self-doubt by saying, Yeah, I get it.

01:24:42.000 You probably want to divorce me, right?

01:24:43.000 You're like, loser.

01:24:45.000 You're like, Yeah, not interested.

01:24:47.000 I get it.

01:24:48.000 You're looking at me and you're thinking, You're the breadwinner, and I'm a zero.

01:24:51.000 You got to stop that shit.

01:24:53.000 You have to take charge.

01:24:55.000 A relationship with a woman is not a democracy.

01:24:58.000 It's a benevolent dictatorship.

01:25:00.000 You are Tito.

01:25:02.000 You are Stalin.

01:25:04.000 You are running the show.

01:25:05.000 So you decide you're going somewhere for a while.

01:25:09.000 You handle something with your kid where you tell the kindergarten teacher that was unacceptable.

01:25:14.000 Like, you got to get involved in shit.

01:25:17.000 Plan stuff.

01:25:18.000 Do stuff.

01:25:18.000 Buy something.

01:25:20.000 Buy a car.

01:25:21.000 You know what I mean?

01:25:22.000 Like, make major decisions.

01:25:24.000 Because when you were on the lamb, you were making all the decisions, keeping everyone safe.

01:25:29.000 And now you've given up the decision-making thing.

01:25:32.000 That's your role.

01:25:33.000 That's what she finds attractive about you.

01:25:36.000 So you have to get back to taking charge.

01:25:38.000 Even if you're full of shit, by the way.

01:25:41.000 Like, I've been on planes with my wife where we're on, like, a one-prop plane in Costa Rica.

01:25:46.000 The turbulence is about to kill us all.

01:25:48.000 And I'm sitting there with my butt cheeks clenched like I'm getting raped, just going, honey, it's a bus in the sky, okay?

01:25:56.000 Buses on the ground crash way more than buses in the fucking sky.

01:26:00.000 You need to calm down.

01:26:01.000 I'll hold your hand.

01:26:03.000 And then I'm just looking at the window going, we're all going to fucking die.

01:26:08.000 You know what I mean?

01:26:09.000 Like, don't show any more weakness.

01:26:10.000 I've heard that one before.

01:26:12.000 It's my favorite go-to when we're talking about not showing weakness.

01:26:17.000 You just got to pick a new mission.

01:26:19.000 I followed your guidance because when this subject has been ongoing, actually, conveniently, this subject has been ongoing for a while.

01:26:29.000 And I listened to it.

01:26:30.000 And yeah, initially she's like, I want you to move out.

01:26:33.000 It's the best thing to do.

01:26:35.000 You know, separation is the key.

01:26:36.000 And then, like, I think we could patch things up if you leave.

01:26:39.000 And I'm like, okay, okay, I'll do it.

01:26:41.000 I'll do it.

01:26:42.000 I'll do it.

01:26:44.000 I took a look.

01:26:45.000 Hold on a minute.

01:26:45.000 Give me a moment.

01:26:47.000 I took a two-week sabbatical and I got some shit together.

01:26:51.000 And I came back and I said, look, no, that's not going to happen.

01:26:53.000 You know, I took the Gavin mentality.

01:26:56.000 I said, look, look at this.

01:26:57.000 No, we're not breaking up this thing.

01:26:59.000 This is bullshit.

01:27:00.000 So now we're back to kind of ground zero.

01:27:03.000 And she's like, well, I'm looking for places to move out.

01:27:05.000 I'm going to go.

01:27:07.000 And so, yeah, if you're just going to stay here, I'm going to fucking move out.

01:27:10.000 And then, so what happens to a situation where I'm 40.

01:27:15.000 No, four.

01:27:16.000 I mean, there's a four-year-old around and people are talking about moving out.

01:27:21.000 Yeah, it's fucking stupid.

01:27:22.000 That's such a 40.

01:27:23.000 You gave up your family for eight or ten years and you're just going to throw it away now?

01:27:28.000 Yeah, that's another question.

01:27:29.000 All you do to the end.

01:27:31.000 We're thinking like men, right?

01:27:33.000 Okay, so let's think like men.

01:27:34.000 So don't say that to her.

01:27:36.000 That won't go over well.

01:27:39.000 So what I'm saying is, yeah, the whole situation, like, I'm looking for houses and I'm going to move out.

01:27:44.000 And I'm like, yeah, I'm calling her bluff.

01:27:47.000 What does she want me to do?

01:27:49.000 And again, it's like counseling.

01:27:51.000 You need to deal with your addiction.

01:27:52.000 You need to deal with your addiction.

01:27:53.000 Go into counseling.

01:27:54.000 I want marriage counseling.

01:27:55.000 I'm like, I got to pay some fucking jerk off to some liberal nut job to try to die.

01:28:02.000 That's bad news.

01:28:04.000 My inefficiencies and my addictions.

01:28:07.000 Come on, give me a fucking break.

01:28:08.000 I don't have time for that shit.

01:28:10.000 You're attracted to brunettes, right?

01:28:12.000 You're attracted to packies?

01:28:14.000 Dark, yeah.

01:28:15.000 Well, that's what I'll do.

01:28:16.000 So here's my advice.

01:28:18.000 I wrote an article about this once.

01:28:20.000 Divorce your wife.

01:28:22.000 In your brain, divorce your wife.

01:28:24.000 She's dead.

01:28:25.000 All right, bye.

01:28:26.000 Now you want a woman who looks like your type, who's into your kid and your kid likes.

01:28:33.000 Okay, how about that woman that's in your house right now?

01:28:37.000 Pretend she's this new seek chick in the neighborhood.

01:28:42.000 Court her again from scratch.

01:28:45.000 Call, you know, make all the decisions and stuff, just like you do when you're courting a woman, you're trying to date a chick, and remarry her in your mind.

01:28:54.000 Don't tell her any of this, but start from scratch.

01:28:58.000 Yeah, we got eight-year anniversary coming up in a week, and we have the same birthday.

01:29:07.000 What would Gab WWGD?

01:29:10.000 Well, it depends what your history is.

01:29:12.000 If you guys fish, you fish.

01:29:13.000 If you camp, you camp.

01:29:14.000 If it's a movie, you movie.

01:29:16.000 Well, we used to go.

01:29:17.000 Get your parents to look after the kid.

01:29:19.000 You know what you should do?

01:29:20.000 Get your parents to look after the kid and go get a hotel.

01:29:24.000 No, we fucking hate hotels, dude.

01:29:26.000 We used to fly around all the time on the lamb, party, and drink.

01:29:30.000 Well, maybe you should recreate that.

01:29:34.000 What did Chinky say?

01:29:36.000 His mic sucked.

01:29:37.000 Maybe you should recreate that situation.

01:29:41.000 I may believe.

01:29:42.000 Chinese people.

01:29:44.000 Anyway, we got to get another call.

01:29:45.000 Thanks for calling.

01:29:46.000 That's a lot to digest.

01:29:48.000 I think we missed an important message there I wanted to answer.

01:29:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:52.000 Can you go back to the maiden?

01:29:55.000 Yeah.

01:29:56.000 What happens if Mercedes gets a guilty verdict?

01:29:58.000 Do you write off the political bias?

01:30:00.000 Do you dare to continue to support a convicted child molester?

01:30:02.000 I think it's bullshit, but how can anyone actually know what happened?

01:30:05.000 Yeah, that's a tough one.

01:30:07.000 Let me just rephrase the question and make it super easy for me.

01:30:10.000 What happens if Mercedes is guilty?

01:30:13.000 Then she's dead to me.

01:30:15.000 I can't believe I trusted her.

01:30:17.000 I'm stabbed in the back.

01:30:18.000 I've been talking to a pedophile for the past fucking seven years on a regular basis, reading her letters, talking to her from prison.

01:30:26.000 Everything I know is upside down.

01:30:28.000 It would be almost the same as finding out Maddie was a pedophile.

01:30:33.000 I've known Maddie much better, but I used to talk to Mercedes once a week.

01:30:39.000 I hung out with her and her husband.

01:30:40.000 She's a really cool person.

01:30:42.000 I suspect that this is political persecution.

01:30:49.000 I think there's a 99% chance she's innocent.

01:30:51.000 There's a 1% chance she's guilty.

01:30:54.000 But you didn't ask that.

01:30:55.000 You said gets a guilty verdict.

01:30:57.000 Right.

01:30:58.000 You'll never know if she's truly guilty.

01:30:59.000 You'll know if the state or the courts find her guilty.

01:31:02.000 Well, there's things like you look at the way Ethan Nordine is being treated right now or Joe Biggs.

01:31:07.000 So like if Ethan Nordine is found guilty, guilty doesn't matter.

01:31:11.000 that's an easy one.

01:31:11.000 I laugh it off and go, fuck you.

01:31:13.000 I know exactly why he's not guilty.

01:31:15.000 Same with Joe Biggs.

01:31:17.000 Say with Brendan Vaughan, who did two months in jail for defending himself after he was strangled.

01:31:23.000 Those guilty verdicts are simple.

01:31:25.000 But I guess with this one, I'll say, okay, what made her guilty?

01:31:29.000 The evidence.

01:31:30.000 And if it was just still that girl, her daughter, saying some shit once, I think I would still believe Mercedes.

01:31:38.000 Right.

01:31:38.000 She still has a right to an appeal.

01:31:40.000 And even if she did lose a trial and then did lose an appeal where it could still exhaust it to the Supreme Court.

01:31:47.000 But even if all her appeals are exhausted, she still got counts guilty, you could always just go to the court and get all the records and look at it yourself.

01:31:56.000 Yeah.

01:31:56.000 What about a plea deal where you're saying you're guilty, but we all know that you're not guilty.

01:32:00.000 I wouldn't take any plea deal that had that attached to it, sure.

01:32:04.000 Well, her point is, she's lost her daughter forever anyway.

01:32:07.000 It's not like she's going to become friends with her daughter.

01:32:09.000 And when her child gets older.

01:32:11.000 Yeah, when she gets older.

01:32:12.000 She'll be able to understand the situation a lot better.

01:32:14.000 So all we have for evidence is that the child implied there was sexual stuff going on.

01:32:19.000 The child was, I think, 11 at the time.

01:32:22.000 The dad was a born-again Christian who was back in her life.

01:32:25.000 He had abandoned her.

01:32:26.000 He was into surfing and stuff.

01:32:28.000 But she's getting older now.

01:32:29.000 She's easier to guide.

01:32:32.000 And he wanted her back.

01:32:33.000 What?

01:32:33.000 And he's the chief medical guy for the children.

01:32:35.000 No, that's a different ex-husband.

01:32:36.000 Oh, a different ex-husband.

01:32:37.000 Yeah, she's got a few.

01:32:40.000 And so there was a massive incentive to get in her head and get her to say stuff.

01:32:45.000 Well, obviously.

01:32:46.000 They confiscated all of Mercedes' computers.

01:32:48.000 Zero kiddie porn there.

01:32:50.000 They go, well, proof of it is you have cameras around your bed and you have mess and you have guns.

01:32:56.000 In other words, a porn star's house.

01:32:58.000 I had four point restraints on the corner of my bed post.

01:33:01.000 I had guns and crystal method too.

01:33:03.000 And cameras.

01:33:04.000 Yeah.

01:33:05.000 It's not that bad of a girl.

01:33:07.000 Believe me, it's on my mind all the time, though.

01:33:09.000 It's like when I had that guy from the Memphis 3 on my old show, and I talked to Anthony about this because he was accused of killing little kids, right?

01:33:17.000 The West Memphis 3.

01:33:19.000 And most people accept that he was framed.

01:33:22.000 But I'm sitting across from him face to face going, I really hope we're all fucking right about you being framed.

01:33:28.000 Because if we're not, then I'm sitting here with a guy who murdered little kids.

01:33:35.000 And that's bad.

01:33:36.000 And by the way, since this happened, they...

01:33:39.000 Although it's legal in two states, according to our previous caller.

01:33:41.000 Sorry.

01:33:42.000 They put out pictures of her and the guy asking if there were any other victims, and nobody's come forward.

01:33:51.000 Because there was...

01:33:53.000 See, that's what's sick, because now they're trying to prove that they're innocent when you're supposed to be presumed innocent.

01:34:01.000 And they have to...

01:34:02.000 It's now that she's trying to make the evidence, she has the burden to prove herself innocent when it's supposed to be the opposite way in America.

01:34:11.000 It's fucking tough, man.

01:34:14.000 And I've been through the court, they don't play fair.

01:34:16.000 Because at the end of the day, the people who are in control of that environment and who are in the positions to make the decisions that could either fucking fuck destroy your whole life or vindicate you, they don't give two fucks about you.

01:34:31.000 No.

01:34:31.000 They're going to go home and they're going to order some Moojo white.

01:34:34.000 Solid evidence came out that Mercedes had molested her daughter.

01:34:38.000 I wouldn't know what up and down meant anymore.

01:34:42.000 I'll accept it.

01:34:44.000 I mean, I'm not going to fucking go to bat for a pedophile under any circumstances.

01:34:49.000 But, you know, all of my instincts, everything I know about her, she's not even very sexual.

01:34:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:34:58.000 Like, she's not very flirty.

01:35:00.000 It's only your job.

01:35:02.000 Yeah.

01:35:02.000 In fact, maybe that's why she was so good at porn because she didn't really feel anything about it.

01:35:06.000 I don't think we ever had any, like, I've flirted with fucking Sylvia more.

01:35:13.000 Like, I don't think we ever had a, like, oh, wouldn't you like that, you dirty dog?

01:35:18.000 Like, zero.

01:35:21.000 Anyway, it's a tough one, though.

01:35:23.000 And it's, believe me, anyone who supports her, like Mark Randaza, I was talking to him about six months ago.

01:35:29.000 It's all in the back of our minds.

01:35:31.000 It's all possible.

01:35:33.000 I remember when you asked me to find out where she actually was.

01:35:38.000 And I never didn't really watch too much porn.

01:35:42.000 I didn't know who she was professionally.

01:35:44.000 But I don't know.

01:35:46.000 I'll write her a letter and say, hey, you know, friend of Gavin's, no one who actually told him where you were, blah, blah, blah.

01:35:51.000 Keep your head up.

01:35:52.000 But I never seemed to get around.

01:35:53.000 I'm bad.

01:35:54.000 I don't write to anybody in jail that I know.

01:35:56.000 She's been waiting for her first trial for what is it now?

01:36:00.000 Five years?

01:36:02.000 By the time they were.

01:36:04.000 Before Trump was elected, right?

01:36:06.000 Yeah.

01:36:06.000 Right thereafter?

01:36:07.000 It was post-Trump.

01:36:09.000 I think it's because of Trump.

01:36:11.000 See, but they got COVID because when they say, you know, you have the right to due process, the court, it's detrimental to make it drag out for social companies.

01:36:24.000 They're going to say, oh, we couldn't go to court.

01:36:26.000 COVID, this, that, and the other thing.

01:36:27.000 Because when you stop your defense or the prosecution stops the prosecution, like, you each get a allotted certain amount of time.

01:36:38.000 Like, you have to do stuff.

01:36:39.000 So, like, you'll hear the attorneys and the DA and the judge say, listen, you know, I want to adjourn it for three months.

01:36:46.000 You could take it against my time.

01:36:48.000 Like, mark it against me is making it go further than what it is.

01:36:52.000 Because everything is supposed to be a good thing.

01:36:53.000 Have you ever heard?

01:36:54.000 Like, five years waiting in jail for your first court date, that's got to be a world record.

01:37:02.000 Remember there was that guy at Rikers who killed himself, the black kid?

01:37:04.000 I got a piss.

01:37:06.000 Hey.

01:37:08.000 Yeah, but it's crazy.

01:37:10.000 Tell people what the typical amount of time to wait is.

01:37:13.000 Oh, at least a year, 12, 13 months?

01:37:16.000 Minimum?

01:37:18.000 You know, there's just so much, well, I don't know about in less populated areas, but here in New York, just because the caseloads are so big and, you know, trying to get motions r done and everything In a timely manner, it's life gets in the way, and that's why they let you adjourn it for X amounts of months.

01:37:36.000 You could charge it against your time and all sorts of good shit.

01:37:40.000 But again, like I said, I'm Maddie Shit Old Kitchen trying to be in a position to get yourself thrown in jail.

01:37:48.000 You know, it's ironic is that while this is happening and she's waiting her court date, the world is now becoming an accepting of child pornography and child.

01:37:59.000 So it's like, what the fuck are we even...

01:38:00.000 By the time she gets the rain, maybe they just fucking be like, this hero.

01:38:04.000 Come out a hero.

01:38:05.000 Yes, you're the best rapist.

01:38:06.000 Joe Biden's mystery man, Corn Pop.

01:38:09.000 Corn Pop, man.

01:38:10.000 Corn Pop did it.

01:38:13.000 Crazy.

01:38:13.000 Corn Pop.

01:38:14.000 He was a crazy dude.

01:38:15.000 If you look into it, there's not a lot of substantial evidence there.

01:38:19.000 And there was like a leading questions thing with the fucking thing.

01:38:23.000 I don't know.

01:38:23.000 But there's no physical evidence of it.

01:38:26.000 There's zero physical evidence.

01:38:27.000 And the gun charges were all her computers, all her hard drives.

01:38:29.000 They tried to hit her with the gun charges.

01:38:31.000 Those dropped because they were not loaded.

01:38:35.000 They didn't check the...

01:38:37.000 But her crime wasn't having drugs in a house with guns in them.

01:38:41.000 Well, that was one of the charges.

01:38:42.000 They dropped that.

01:38:44.000 Possession of a controlled substance while armed with a handgun.

01:38:46.000 So there was nobody armed.

01:38:48.000 They were not loaded.

01:38:49.000 And they didn't test the containers which are identified visually as small containers of methamphetamine.

01:38:55.000 No lab report was introduced in the court demonstrating that the powder was indeed a controlled substance.

01:38:59.000 Visual alones don't constitute...

01:39:01.000 Right.

01:39:02.000 They have to tell you what it is.

01:39:03.000 Same thing with a firearm.

01:39:05.000 Just because you see what looks like a fucking handgun, unless you see the fucking gun operate, visual alone.

01:39:11.000 It could just be a prop.

01:39:13.000 Right.

01:39:13.000 Visual...

01:39:14.000 It's in the fucking...

01:39:17.000 But wasn't that your charge?

01:39:18.000 Wasn't your charge just visual?

01:39:20.000 Yeah.

01:39:20.000 No, well, the undercover agent ended up taking it, had it in his possession for a small period of time.

01:39:27.000 So he would have operated it then?

01:39:29.000 No, he didn't.

01:39:31.000 And then he gave it away to somebody who said it was suicidal.

01:39:35.000 It was crazy.

01:39:36.000 Okay, so that's...

01:39:37.000 He never proved it was a gun.

01:39:38.000 You could have said it was a prop...

01:39:40.000 If I have my appeal from the Supreme Court.

01:39:44.000 So your argument was it could have been a prop gun from an action gun?

01:39:47.000 Because the gun was, there was no chain of custody.

01:39:50.000 He said I gave it to him at, like, say, 9 o'clock on a Friday.

01:39:54.000 He said he had it for a very limited period of time because the gun was supposed, because I was leaving, I was in just outside of Alexandria, Virginia, Fairfax.

01:40:03.000 And I was going to Ocean Beach, Maryland.

01:40:06.000 So I was going there for a party.

01:40:07.000 So when I was leaving the bar where we were hanging out, all the black suburbans and shit were there.

01:40:12.000 I'm like, yo, as soon as we pull out of here, we're getting jacked up.

01:40:14.000 So I had a fella.

01:40:16.000 I'm not supposed to have a gun.

01:40:17.000 They're going to tear the car apart anyway.

01:40:19.000 So my buddy who was actually driving called the prospector over and happened to be the undercover guy.

01:40:26.000 And I said, are you going to Maryland tomorrow?

01:40:28.000 He says, yeah.

01:40:29.000 I said, all right, well, bring this to me to Maryland.

01:40:31.000 I said, you know, because down there, anyone over 21 can carry a gun wherever.

01:40:36.000 It didn't make a difference.

01:40:37.000 I just couldn't have it.

01:40:38.000 I couldn't be in the vehicle with it.

01:40:40.000 So I said, if you're coming to the party tomorrow, just bring this to me and I'll take it off your hands there.

01:40:43.000 And David end up getting searched by all those black suburbans?

01:40:46.000 No.

01:40:48.000 That was the fucking kicker.

01:40:53.000 That's almost worse than sending $180 for a bike seat as well.

01:40:57.000 Somebody you don't fucking know with very limited information.

01:41:01.000 All right, we're down to the wire here.

01:41:02.000 We got 20 minutes left.

01:41:03.000 Let's go bananas with these things.

01:41:06.000 And I've never been so annoyed about a call.

01:41:12.000 Okay.

01:41:16.000 Are ties between you and Richard Spencer completely cut?

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:22.000 Hey, lazy asses.

01:41:23.000 Not Maddie.

01:41:24.000 I don't want to die.

01:41:25.000 I pitched a censored golf show a few weeks ago.

01:41:27.000 No, thanks.

01:41:30.000 Golf is like fun to watch at the bar because it's pretty and you're watching a ball roll in.

01:41:35.000 But getting into the semantics of golf, no.

01:41:39.000 Logan's on the line.

01:41:40.000 Okay, what's up, Logie?

01:41:44.000 Hey, how you guys doing?

01:41:45.000 What's going on?

01:41:48.000 Hey, so I had a question for Davin and Maddie.

01:41:50.000 Just because you guys are older, probably more experienced with this.

01:41:54.000 So I just got broken up with this woman that I've been dating for a little bit over three years.

01:42:01.000 And she broke up with me while I was in Alaska, which really sucked.

01:42:06.000 And so when I came back home, you know, like she'd already said she was done.

01:42:10.000 Like she wanted me to move my stuff out.

01:42:12.000 But then we had gotten intimate a few times.

01:42:16.000 And obviously when you see someone again, like some of those old feelings might come to the surface.

01:42:20.000 But, you know, like, so I seen her like a week ago and we were intimate and like it was really nice.

01:42:27.000 And then like four or five days go by because, you know, I moved out.

01:42:30.000 I still had a few things there.

01:42:31.000 But she pretty much just did like a 180 and totally changed her mind.

01:42:35.000 So I guess my question is, when do you know when to just tip your hat and sort of walk away?

01:42:40.000 Because I'm kind of, I don't know what to do.

01:42:42.000 Well, how old are you?

01:42:43.000 How old is she?

01:42:45.000 She's 22 and I'm 27.

01:42:48.000 Okay, so you started dating her when she was 19.

01:42:51.000 Both pretty young.

01:42:52.000 Yeah, around there.

01:42:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:54.000 I remember I had almost the same, similar issue with my ex-wife when we first separated.

01:43:00.000 We were getting divorced.

01:43:00.000 We knew we were getting divorced, but every now and then we would, you know, talk on the phone, I'll come get you and fuck our brains out and all that shit.

01:43:09.000 So I had actually left and I went to my mother's house for, I think, about four weeks.

01:43:16.000 And because I didn't have a new apartment and I didn't want to bring my son to like some fucking little shitty slummy.

01:43:22.000 So I went to my mother's house.

01:43:24.000 So my wife, my ex-wife knew I was staying there and I had my son that weekend.

01:43:32.000 So my son's in his room.

01:43:34.000 He had his room in my mother's house.

01:43:35.000 So my ex-wife, I guess, gets a little horny or whatever and decides she's going to come to my mother's house at like 1.30 in the morning.

01:43:43.000 So I hear someone knocking on my old bedroom door and she cracks the door and she's like, Maddie's Tracy.

01:43:49.000 I'm like, what?

01:43:50.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here?

01:43:51.000 It's like 1.30 in the morning.

01:43:53.000 She's like, I thought you would be up.

01:43:54.000 I go, I got Dylan.

01:43:56.000 Are you going to be up in the morning with him?

01:43:58.000 So she's like, no.

01:43:59.000 So I was like, what are you doing?

01:44:00.000 She's like, I don't want to drive drunk.

01:44:02.000 She was going back to where we lived.

01:44:05.000 I said, well, stay here.

01:44:06.000 I said, whatever.

01:44:07.000 So she, you know, gets a naked, falls from the bed.

01:44:09.000 She starts pooling around, and I'm like, man, this is not.

01:44:13.000 She got mad there because I said, no.

01:44:15.000 And she goes, what do you mean?

01:44:16.000 I go, listen, Tracy, there's nothing more that I want to do right now than fuck your brains out.

01:44:21.000 I said, but then he's going to fucking fuck my head up.

01:44:25.000 I said, one, we're going to have to deal with Dylan in the morning because he's going to come in my room the way.

01:44:29.000 How old was he at the time?

01:44:30.000 Oh, he was young, like three, four.

01:44:33.000 And what did he do?

01:44:35.000 I said, and then second, I'm going to have fucking think that everything's going to be good again.

01:44:40.000 And you're going to be like, no, no, fucking, we're still getting divorced.

01:44:42.000 Fuck that.

01:44:43.000 Because she was drunk and horny and right.

01:44:45.000 And that's what it happened at fucking like two o'clock in the morning at my mother's house.

01:44:49.000 I hate you.

01:44:50.000 And in the morning, my son came knocking on the door and he comes in.

01:44:52.000 He goes, and he looks at me.

01:44:54.000 He goes, is that mommy?

01:44:56.000 I go, yeah.

01:44:56.000 He goes, how'd she get here?

01:44:58.000 I was like, oh, man.

01:45:00.000 I go, that's your plusy girl.

01:45:03.000 Did you fuck her?

01:45:04.000 No.

01:45:04.000 Really?

01:45:05.000 Yep.

01:45:05.000 Did she blow you?

01:45:07.000 Nothing.

01:45:07.000 Really?

01:45:08.000 Slept naked in the bed next to me.

01:45:09.000 Trust me.

01:45:10.000 It was not easy.

01:45:12.000 I'm going to come.

01:45:13.000 I was probably 25.

01:45:15.000 Here's what you do, Caller.

01:45:18.000 You have to accept it.

01:45:19.000 You do whatever you want.

01:45:20.000 She drew first blood.

01:45:21.000 So now the ball's in your court.

01:45:23.000 You go out, you don't flaunt it with other girls, but you cheat on her, whatever that means.

01:45:28.000 You fuck around.

01:45:30.000 If she calls you, hey, we're at bowling.

01:45:32.000 If you feel like going bowling, you go bowling.

01:45:35.000 If you're out with your friends, she calls you.

01:45:36.000 You're bored that night.

01:45:38.000 At 22, 27.

01:45:39.000 Yeah, then you're like, yeah, come on by.

01:45:41.000 Whatever, man.

01:45:42.000 Everything's cool.

01:45:43.000 Everything's groovy.

01:45:44.000 Right?

01:45:45.000 And then there's going to be that time where she says, I love you.

01:45:50.000 And then you know what you do?

01:45:52.000 You turn her around and you fuck her in the ass for all of the bullshit that she put you through.

01:45:58.000 Ready?

01:45:58.000 This is what's going to happen.

01:46:00.000 Every time she calls him, he's going to go because he wants to get laid and he wants to hang out with her, try to salvage it.

01:46:07.000 The time he calls her and says, hey, why don't you come over?

01:46:10.000 She's going to be like, nope.

01:46:11.000 No, busy.

01:46:12.000 He's never calling her.

01:46:14.000 Oh, I would.

01:46:16.000 But he's just living his life now.

01:46:18.000 If she calls him, he's like, yeah, come on by.

01:46:21.000 We're having a bud.

01:46:24.000 Yeah, that time when she says no, that's it.

01:46:27.000 Yeah, don't fucking call her.

01:46:29.000 But if you're horny and bored and she wants to come by, like find a five or six.

01:46:32.000 You know what I mean?

01:46:32.000 Just use and abuse her until she says I love you and then punish her and start again.

01:46:37.000 Oh my god.

01:46:38.000 Get back in the field.

01:46:39.000 Go bang a bunch of fives.

01:46:41.000 Bang some fives.

01:46:42.000 I almost said that to my son the other day.

01:46:43.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:46:44.000 He's 13, so I'm glad I didn't say it.

01:46:47.000 But I think he has a girlfriend, but he wants to be.

01:46:48.000 Oh, he's thinking about it.

01:46:50.000 And I'm like, are you guys still together?

01:46:52.000 How's it going with your girl?

01:46:53.000 And he's like, I don't know, whatever.

01:46:56.000 And I go, boy, when you get dumped, it really sucks.

01:47:00.000 And I said, you're not a real man until you beat the shit out of someone, had the shit beaten out of you, broken a heart, and had your heart broken.

01:47:08.000 And I go, so you might have one of those around the corner, the heart-broken one, and it's going to blow.

01:47:14.000 And then I almost said, but if that does happen, the secret is to fuck a slew of fives, some fatties, and that'll get you going again.

01:47:24.000 That'll get you back in the lineup.

01:47:26.000 But you don't say that to 13-year-olds.

01:47:27.000 No, no.

01:47:29.000 16-year-olds, you might say it to.

01:47:32.000 Fuck some fatties, son.

01:47:34.000 And if you see your mom this weekend, just tell her, Satan, Satan, Satan!

01:47:39.000 Hail Satan.

01:47:41.000 Hail Satan.

01:47:43.000 Jeremy.

01:47:44.000 Spoke in class today.

01:47:48.000 Jeremy spoke in.

01:47:50.000 Hello.

01:47:52.000 I'm a 110-year-old black guy.

01:47:56.000 Hey, what's going on there, Jeremy?

01:47:59.000 Hey, how's it going, guys?

01:48:01.000 Good.

01:48:04.000 Okay.

01:48:05.000 Good.

01:48:05.000 Good show tonight.

01:48:08.000 Hey, I just wanted to say, Gavin, I think you need to fuck the mainstream.

01:48:14.000 Nobody needs or wants it anymore.

01:48:16.000 So don't even waste your time chasing those people.

01:48:18.000 There are plenty of great up-and-comers, if you will, like Alex Stein, John Doyle.

01:48:26.000 We've got to figure out, it's not necessarily a line, but what does it even mean to be a conservative anymore?

01:48:34.000 Like, you and Ryan were talking about it in the car ride yesterday with Dave Rubin and his husband.

01:48:39.000 It's like, this has been a point of contention with my wife and I. And the slope started with us.

01:48:46.000 It started with conservatives trying to open the gate for more people to come in.

01:48:54.000 Say you.

01:48:55.000 No, you're right.

01:48:56.000 You're right.

01:48:58.000 I still feel that way, though.

01:48:59.000 Like, I would never want to say gays can't be proud boys, but I think what the normal right does is they bend over backwards and they make sure that the black woman and the gay are at the very front on every pamphlet,

01:49:15.000 on every pin, just like the left does.

01:49:19.000 It's fucking pandering, and I'm sick of doing it, and I'm sick of hearing about it.

01:49:24.000 So yeah, I don't do that.

01:49:25.000 But I have no interest in getting accepted by Prager U or Turning Point USA and getting on stage with Benny Johnson and saying, all right, are we ready to rock?

01:49:41.000 I did that at the beginning of this site and spent a fucking fortune getting Dinesh D'Souza and Michael Sherman in the same room.

01:49:48.000 But I'd rather just have my Michelle Malkins and my Ann Coulters that will happily call me back and hang out.

01:49:54.000 It's higher quality.

01:49:56.000 And I really did have an epiphany at AFPAC.

01:49:58.000 Like seeing those thousand people in that room that were totally 100% unaffected by any accusations of bigotry or racism.

01:50:09.000 They didn't give a fuck about that.

01:50:12.000 And my generation, Gen X, is just so worried about it.

01:50:16.000 More than boomers.

01:50:17.000 I don't know.

01:50:18.000 I don't think it's us.

01:50:20.000 Well, not you and I, but generally, Gen Xers and young boomers are just still constantly tripping over themselves.

01:50:28.000 And I'm done.

01:50:30.000 I'm done.

01:50:31.000 Yeah, I'm with you.

01:50:32.000 I'm with you.

01:50:33.000 The only thing I'm saying is, like, I'm the same way.

01:50:37.000 I mean, I don't need to give you whole backs through here or anything, but like, you do you.

01:50:42.000 That's always kind of been, you know, I think most Americans kind of agree with that.

01:50:46.000 Like, hey, you do what you want to do.

01:50:49.000 What you do in your bedroom, what you do in your house, that's fine.

01:50:52.000 I don't care.

01:50:53.000 Don't push it on me.

01:50:55.000 Don't push it on my kids.

01:50:56.000 But at some point, like, I think that's got us into trouble, though, by not, I don't know.

01:51:03.000 We live in a society that rewards aggression and violence.

01:51:07.000 And when you are diminutive and submissive, people don't reward you.

01:51:12.000 You're punished for that.

01:51:13.000 So even like six months ago, I'm writing this book right now.

01:51:16.000 There's a burden.

01:51:17.000 And I did a whole chapter on 10 things I hate about the Jews and how it's been misinterpreted and I love the Jews and I'm a Zionist and blah, blah, blah.

01:51:24.000 And it's like, it's one of like 13 chapters.

01:51:27.000 Like, why is it taking up almost 10% of this book?

01:51:31.000 So I just went back in and I was just like, look, this was a funny video, blah, blah, blah.

01:51:36.000 And, you know, there is some problems with that group and some problems with anti-Semites.

01:51:42.000 And I cut it down to like a tenth of its size because I'm sick of apologizing and overexplaining everything.

01:51:51.000 I did a funny video that had an offensive title.

01:51:54.000 Go fuck yourself.

01:51:58.000 Do you want to get into anti-Semitism?

01:51:59.000 Okay, I'll have a discussion with you about it.

01:52:01.000 But this whole like, please, please, I didn't mean that.

01:52:06.000 It's so fucking boring.

01:52:10.000 I agree.

01:52:11.000 Couldn't agree more, actually.

01:52:12.000 And, you know, there's a ton of kids out there ready to be adopted.

01:52:17.000 That's my stance on it.

01:52:19.000 Like, Dave and his husband had other options to get kids.

01:52:23.000 I just think it's kind of a bastardizing.

01:52:27.000 My wife and I have the same arguments, and we're right, and they're wrong.

01:52:33.000 These gays are creating designer babies from scratch that were not there before.

01:52:38.000 You know, these same fuckers argue about rescue dogs and say, don't get a purebred, get a rescue dog.

01:52:44.000 Except when it comes to humans, then spend 30 grand and get yourself a perfect little white cherub because we all are secretly into eugenics when you lie about it.

01:52:55.000 I'm supposed to adopt a baby.

01:52:57.000 Because birth of our semen is just as important as the other.

01:53:00.000 Yeah, fuck them.

01:53:02.000 All right.

01:53:02.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:53:05.000 You're starting a kid at a disadvantage.

01:53:07.000 Now, you know, when this topic becomes philosophically uncomfortable, what about the deaf and the blind?

01:53:14.000 Should deaf people make babies knowing the kid will be deaf?

01:53:18.000 You're knowingly starting a kid off with a disadvantage.

01:53:21.000 What about midgets?

01:53:23.000 Should they be breeding?

01:53:25.000 Of course I can.

01:53:27.000 But you're starting a kid off with a disadvantage.

01:53:29.000 You never seen the little people show?

01:53:32.000 Most parents are small and they have regular children.

01:53:34.000 Yeah.

01:53:35.000 I'm just asking the question.

01:53:36.000 I'm not saying.

01:53:37.000 Did Helen Keller have kids?

01:53:38.000 What?

01:53:39.000 Did Helen Keller have kids?

01:53:41.000 I don't know.

01:53:43.000 Can you fuck her without raping her?

01:53:45.000 You know my kids' generation.

01:53:47.000 I used to torture her.

01:53:48.000 I say, go put her in a round room.

01:53:50.000 Tell her to go stand in the corner.

01:53:52.000 My kids' generation don't believe in Helen Keller.

01:53:56.000 Never married or have children, no.

01:53:58.000 Okay.

01:53:58.000 She almost married Peter Fagg?

01:54:01.000 Is that guy's name Peter Fagg?

01:54:03.000 Peter Fagan.

01:54:04.000 Oh, Fagan.

01:54:08.000 Yeah, people think that her handler was just parading around and faking her, like teaching her to seem smart.

01:54:17.000 That's a theory.

01:54:18.000 It's a conspiracy theory.

01:54:19.000 But I know people that were deaf mutes that had kids.

01:54:22.000 Deaf mutes.

01:54:24.000 Are you more likely to pass it on?

01:54:26.000 No, the children were good.

01:54:27.000 Huh.

01:54:28.000 Yeah, so that's fine.

01:54:29.000 But with a midget.

01:54:32.000 The odds are like, I don't know what they are.

01:54:33.000 One in five, you're going to make another midget.

01:54:36.000 Because my argument with single mothers having kids without the baby daddy around is, fuck you, you knowingly started a kid off with a major disadvantage.

01:54:45.000 My problem with gays adopting when they're not just repairing a lonely kid but making one from scratch is, fuck you, you're starting a kid off with a major disadvantage, which is not having a male and female parent.

01:54:58.000 So couldn't you make the same argument about deaf people and midgets?

01:55:06.000 Or what about Ryan?

01:55:07.000 He made, he's ugly and he knowingly made a baby.

01:55:10.000 Now it happened to be cute.

01:55:12.000 He's a mutt.

01:55:14.000 But what if it were turned out as ugly as him?

01:55:16.000 The rescue.

01:55:18.000 I disagree.

01:55:21.000 Well, if Ryan were a toad.

01:55:23.000 If I were to be a toad.

01:55:26.000 Do you want to watch one final video?

01:55:28.000 It sounds pretty funny.

01:55:31.000 Who's saying this?

01:55:33.000 Ryan is sick because he doesn't have a path.

01:55:36.000 He's going to ran away when he found a USA.

01:55:44.000 Wait, what kind of mutiny is this?

01:55:46.000 We don't usually do final videos on Thursdays.

01:55:48.000 It's a fun mutiny.

01:55:50.000 Mutiny on the belly?

01:55:51.000 Ryan has hijacked the show, folks.

01:55:53.000 Holy shit.

01:55:54.000 Whoa.

01:55:54.000 Well, I was going to make a pirate reference, but then I know you hate pirates.

01:55:59.000 I hate pirates.

01:56:00.000 I bought for my new Jag.

01:56:02.000 I bought cassettes on eBay.

01:56:03.000 I bought License to Ill.

01:56:05.000 And then there's that song that's all about Mutiny on the Bell is what we're all about.

01:56:10.000 And I'm like, shut up, fucking.

01:56:12.000 Well, here's one, since you hate fucking pirate jokes.

01:56:16.000 What's the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

01:56:20.000 R. No, you think it would be an R, but it's the C. And you could always do it backwards if they do that.

01:56:28.000 Yeah.

01:56:28.000 If they say C. So I haven't seen this yet, but it looks funny.

01:56:32.000 You haven't seen it, but it looks funny.

01:56:33.000 Yes.

01:56:33.000 Oh, this is a fucking ancient Chinese secret.

01:56:37.000 This is from three years ago, dude.

01:56:40.000 He gets on the thing and he smashes headfirst into the water.

01:56:43.000 We're at the San Diego Yacht and Boat Show.

01:56:45.000 Good morning, everybody.

01:56:46.000 I'm hanging out with my friend John.

01:56:47.000 Fox Five Morning News starts.

01:56:48.000 Look over there.

01:56:49.000 And it starts right now.

01:56:52.000 We're at the San Diego.

01:56:54.000 Okay, oops.

01:56:55.000 Wow, Ryan.

01:56:56.000 So did you watch the video first?

01:56:58.000 He's going to look good, though.

01:56:59.000 It looked good.

01:57:00.000 It looked good, but you didn't look at it.

01:57:02.000 Yeah.

01:57:03.000 You hijacked the show.

01:57:05.000 You stuck a final video in.

01:57:07.000 People are waiting online to call.

01:57:09.000 And you put up a shitty - it's not even the full version of the video.

01:57:14.000 Oops.

01:57:15.000 You just explosive diarrhea all over the show.

01:57:21.000 I had faith in it.

01:57:22.000 You've heard me tell you.

01:57:22.000 You know what they...

01:57:23.000 Faith?

01:57:24.000 Why have faith?

01:57:25.000 You could have looked at the video in your own time.

01:57:29.000 How's that faith working out for you?

01:57:30.000 Do we have dinosaurs or not?

01:57:32.000 See this terrible video that you can't even see what's going on.

01:57:34.000 I can't even see it.

01:57:35.000 It falls off a boat, obviously.

01:57:37.000 It's out of there.

01:57:38.000 It's done.

01:57:39.000 What do you mean it's done?

01:57:40.000 It's an NFT?

01:57:41.000 We can't see it again?

01:57:42.000 It's a non-fungible token.

01:57:44.000 It dissolved, my friend John.

01:57:46.000 Fox 5 Morning News starts.

01:57:47.000 Look over there.

01:57:48.000 And it starts right now.

01:57:52.000 I almost died on one of those.

01:57:55.000 A boat?

01:57:56.000 No.

01:57:56.000 No, a TV show.

01:57:58.000 Oh.

01:57:59.000 A microphone.

01:58:00.000 Weekly.

01:58:01.000 No.

01:58:02.000 One of those.

01:58:02.000 An awkward wasted time.

01:58:04.000 Excuse you.

01:58:05.000 No, one of those jetpacks.

01:58:08.000 Oh, yes.

01:58:10.000 Why?

01:58:10.000 What happened?

01:58:11.000 You went in and started going down and down and down?

01:58:13.000 Yeah, so Hodge used to do videos for Action Park, and I did a commercial for them.

01:58:18.000 I did a training video for them.

01:58:22.000 That was a long time ago.

01:58:23.000 Those things must have just come out.

01:58:24.000 They just came out.

01:58:25.000 So you have these things, and you could turn them up and turn them down, and you can turn them all over the place, frankly.

01:58:31.000 You really could.

01:58:32.000 And you just couldn't make turns.

01:58:33.000 Just couldn't make the turns.

01:58:36.000 That's a really bad jump on purpose.

01:58:38.000 So fucking, I'm in the thing, and I have an ear set on with a helmet, and I'm like, you're bogged down.

01:58:44.000 You know, you're just like here.

01:58:45.000 So you're almost drowning just to start.

01:58:48.000 And the guy's in the ear.

01:58:49.000 He's like, all right, you're going to want to turn the jets up?

01:58:51.000 And I'm like, I turned him up.

01:58:52.000 And then like I start sinking because now the weight shifted.

01:58:56.000 So my face is there and I can't get like swim out of it.

01:58:59.000 My fucking face is down here.

01:59:01.000 And he hasn't hit the jets.

01:59:03.000 If you hit the jets, I'm going up in the air.

01:59:05.000 He just hasn't done it yet.

01:59:06.000 So I'm just like for 10 seconds underwater panicking.

01:59:10.000 And I'm like, this is how I die.

01:59:11.000 This is how I fucking die.

01:59:12.000 And then the fucking lifeguard lady didn't even jump in.

01:59:16.000 And he finally starts the jets up.

01:59:18.000 And now I'm flying in the air like an awesome guy.

01:59:20.000 But I mean, it was like I'm going to die.

01:59:23.000 The two times I was going to die with Hodge.

01:59:25.000 The fucking...

01:59:26.000 Wait, 10 seconds having to hold your breath?

01:59:28.000 This is like yesterday where you go, sorry, man.

01:59:30.000 I only slept seven hours less than a day.

01:59:32.000 Okay, picture you don't see any way out of drowning.

01:59:35.000 Was it in a pond or a pool?

01:59:36.000 It was in a pool.

01:59:38.000 Definitely weren't dying.

01:59:39.000 It was a drowning fear.

01:59:40.000 Maybe it was more than 10 seconds, but there was no way to get your head up at all.

01:59:43.000 Like, you couldn't even like.

01:59:45.000 I wish she did die that day.

01:59:46.000 But how did you not have control of the thrusters?

01:59:49.000 Exactly.

01:59:50.000 Yeah.

01:59:50.000 That's not in my control.

01:59:52.000 That was entertaining for him.

01:59:53.000 Pushing the gas.

01:59:55.000 Yeah.

01:59:55.000 He was playing a video game with you through the game.

01:59:59.000 And he was losing.

02:00:01.000 All right.

02:00:01.000 Well, let's do one more call.

02:00:03.000 All right.

02:00:04.000 Is there one more call?

02:00:05.000 Yep.

02:00:08.000 Let's see.

02:00:10.000 This guy is talking about Zach's card.

02:00:13.000 I don't think that's accurate.

02:00:14.000 607.

02:00:17.000 Go ahead, call it.

02:00:19.000 Hey, I have a question for Gav.

02:00:22.000 Okay.

02:00:25.000 What did the vax cards?

02:00:30.000 You think it's alright to fake one?

02:00:33.000 One more time?

02:00:34.000 You sound like you're calling from the show MASH.

02:00:37.000 I think you said something about Space Force?

02:00:39.000 Vax cards.

02:00:40.000 Oh, vax cards.

02:00:40.000 What do we think about the vax cards?

02:00:42.000 Is it safe to fake them?

02:00:43.000 Yeah, would it be all right to fake one of those?

02:00:46.000 You don't need them anywhere here.

02:00:47.000 Well, this is a litigiously complex question to answer on a public forum wherein.

02:00:54.000 All right, if you were playing Minecraft.

02:00:57.000 Oh, and Minecraft?

02:00:58.000 Well, that's different.

02:00:59.000 Well, we all take risks, sir.

02:01:01.000 Some do, some don't.

02:01:02.000 Sometimes they pay off, sometimes they don't.

02:01:04.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

02:01:06.000 I don't discuss the pros and cons of illegal activity.

02:01:09.000 I think anywhere in New York now needs them.

02:01:11.000 I think the dane...

02:01:12.000 No, no, you're right.

02:01:12.000 But there's some private places that have to do whatever they want.

02:01:18.000 Like some restaurants, they'll be like, we still do the vax checks.

02:01:21.000 Although I was in a...

02:01:23.000 No, in New York State, there's not even government buildings.

02:01:26.000 The only place you need is a hospital.

02:01:29.000 We checked someplace and they were like, for certain restaurants or private businesses, they can still do that.

02:01:34.000 And they do anyway.

02:01:36.000 Which is shitty.

02:01:36.000 But I think the comes outweighed the business.

02:01:38.000 Last message.

02:01:39.000 Proposed to my girlfriend last weekend.

02:01:40.000 That's awesome.

02:01:41.000 We want to know how much to have Ryan perform at the wedding.

02:01:44.000 You want to get divorced the day you get married?

02:01:46.000 Yeah.

02:01:47.000 Her special day.

02:01:49.000 There will be highs.

02:01:50.000 There will be lows.

02:01:51.000 There will be lows.

02:01:52.000 All his YouTube hits.

02:01:53.000 It will be April 2023.

02:01:54.000 I'll have his Peter Franz YouTube.

02:01:56.000 I bet.

02:01:57.000 Ryan isn't good at this kind of thing.

02:02:00.000 He'll just be like either $1 or a million dollars.

02:02:03.000 So here's the deal.

02:02:04.000 If it's within the New York area, like within a two-hour drive, he'd do it for $100, maybe $200.

02:02:11.000 He'd be thrilled to do it.

02:02:13.000 And then free food?

02:02:14.000 Free food and everything.

02:02:16.000 Well, you clearly can spend $500, so let's do $500.

02:02:20.000 But that would include his travel and everything like that.

02:02:23.000 He'd have to pay for his own gas to get there.

02:02:26.000 If it's like in L.A., I think it should go up to $1,000.

02:02:32.000 And they should pay your hotel and your air.

02:02:35.000 Everything per diem.

02:02:36.000 Food and stuff for the day.

02:02:38.000 You don't want to fucking fly to L.A. for $500.

02:02:41.000 That's true.

02:02:41.000 It's going to be two days out of your life.

02:02:43.000 If you were to do it per hour, right, from me leaving my house, playing the music, da-da-da-da-da, coming back home.

02:02:50.000 If you counted up all those hours, I'm probably making like five bucks an hour.

02:02:54.000 So that's no good.

02:02:56.000 But I don't know.

02:02:57.000 You could record it, Ryan.

02:02:58.000 Maybe that could become your new little side project.

02:03:01.000 Well, I am playing some gigs.

02:03:03.000 Got some gigs coming up.

02:03:04.000 Are you allowed to say them?

02:03:06.000 Yes.

02:03:08.000 What do you think the average wedding band gets played?

02:03:11.000 He's playing like a...

02:03:12.000 Ryan's playing an incel Doom concert.

02:03:16.000 It's like, remember Incel Fest that happened in Georgia?

02:03:19.000 Yep.

02:03:20.000 It's like a sequel to that.

02:03:22.000 It's the third, you know, one of those.

02:03:26.000 Great, and you're playing at it.

02:03:27.000 With Hollowed, yeah, I'm playing bass.

02:03:29.000 Hollowed is playing.

02:03:30.000 There's definitely no chance of anyone getting laid.

02:03:32.000 Well, no, no, but that's not.

02:03:34.000 No, that's not.

02:03:36.000 No, no.

02:03:37.000 Well, the first one was called Virgin Fest.

02:03:40.000 So, yeah, they fancy the best.

02:03:42.000 Fucking not big on their parties.

02:03:43.000 By choice, guys.

02:03:44.000 By choice.

02:03:45.000 Thanks for tuning in.

02:03:46.000 This was a fun show.

02:03:48.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:04:13.000 But it is what it is.

02:04:15.000 That's a feeling it hung.

02:04:17.000 So what you want to do, what you are.

02:04:23.000 Cause I'm meaning alone.

02:04:26.000 But you said, but you said I couldn't come over.

02:04:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 08, 2022

GOML LIVE #143 - THE DATING SHOW

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