Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #146 - MATTRESS BOY

00:00:12.000 Hey, yo, be your friend.

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:28.000 When a girl gets pregnant, a man is gonna run around. 0.93

00:00:31.000 This a couple numbers when it's born, he wants to come around.

00:00:34.000 Talking out sorry for what I did.

00:00:36.000 And all of a sudden, he now wants to see his kids.

00:00:39.000 She had to bury by herself and take care of it by herself.

00:00:42.000 And giving us some money for milk won't really help.

00:00:45.000 Half of the fathers with sons and daughters don't even want to take them.

00:00:48.000 But it's so easy for them to make them.

00:00:50.000 It's true.

00:00:50.000 If it weren't for you.

00:00:54.000 That was Ed OG, known to his close friends as Ed Og or Ed Og.

00:01:00.000 Big Boston rapper. 0.88

00:01:02.000 Probably the most popular Boston rapper outside of fucking Jump Around Dudes, House of Pain. 0.74

00:01:08.000 The first to break it into the international scene. 0.98

00:01:11.000 And this was back in the 90s when blacks rapped about culpability and said, we got to stop the violence and save our communities and be better men and stick around our babies. 0.73

00:01:26.000 And then the left got involved and said, no, no, no, just complain. 0.81

00:01:31.000 It's way cooler to complain.

00:01:33.000 And we lost culpability on a lot of different fronts.

00:01:38.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:01:39.000 We have Maddie Odell in the studio for a change. 1.00

00:01:41.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:01:43.000 For a change?

00:01:44.000 Yep.

00:01:44.000 I'm here every week.

00:01:45.000 Besides that, it's rarely here.

00:01:49.000 And of course, a Japanese man named Ryan Katsu Rivera is visiting us.

00:01:56.000 Japanese and Puerto Ricans.

00:01:57.000 So you know how this goes?

00:01:58.000 The first half hour is free.

00:02:00.000 Then we go behind the paywall.

00:02:01.000 We've got sponsors paying for the free part.

00:02:04.000 We make the video and the audio free.

00:02:07.000 And it's not really that typical of the show.

00:02:09.000 Usually on the show, we go through the news, we make some jokes, we mostly make fun of people.

00:02:14.000 We're very rude.

00:02:16.000 And on this show, it's more about getting in touch with the guys who pay.

00:02:23.000 So we talk to the subscribers, we do a live chat, we do calls, and we go through the letters.

00:02:31.000 I've painstakingly gone through the mailbag today and selected only the very few.

00:02:38.000 But before we get into any of that, I want to talk about something pretty serious that happened to me in my home.

00:02:50.000 Not unlike Bob Odenkirk's home invasion.

00:02:53.000 This was a violation of my most sacred space.

00:02:57.000 Ryan, these new backgrounds don't work. 0.98

00:02:58.000 They're too dark.

00:03:00.000 You lose the contrast.

00:03:03.000 No, they have to be like white. 0.99

00:03:05.000 Anyway, Bob Odenkirk claims he was home invaded three times, which does not make any fucking sense. 0.98

00:03:13.000 No one is home invaded 1.5 times. 0.94

00:03:18.000 First of all, if someone's home invaded, there was that porn star who got home invaded. 0.98

00:03:22.000 She got like gang raped. 0.94

00:03:23.000 And that's how I know who Mercedes Carrera is. 0.99

00:03:27.000 And that's why we still talk on a regular basis because the left totally abandoned her because she's a porn star. 1.00

00:03:33.000 That's gross. 0.98

00:03:35.000 Now, I'm not pro-porn.

00:03:36.000 I'm anti-porn.

00:03:37.000 But criminals, porn stars, they're all still human beings. 1.00

00:03:43.000 And believe it or not, if you're a porn star, you do not deserve to be gang raped in your own home. 1.00

00:03:49.000 You do deserve to be gang raped on any bridge in the surrounding area, near your home. 1.00

00:03:55.000 Consensually. 1.00

00:03:56.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:57.000 Consensually gang raped. 0.98

00:03:58.000 Oh, that's a good name for a band. 0.99

00:04:00.000 Oh, there you go.

00:04:03.000 So Mercedes freaked the fuck out when everyone ignored that girl, and I appreciated that. 1.00

00:04:10.000 But anyway, this shirt I'm wearing, I'm wearing this shirt like Mattress Girl.

00:04:17.000 Remember Mattress Girl?

00:04:18.000 She claims she was raped, and she carried a mattress around with her for her entire school year.

00:04:23.000 No way.

00:04:24.000 Yeah.

00:04:25.000 She was on the cover of New York Magazine as the new sexual revolution. 1.00

00:04:29.000 Now, if she was raped, yeah, that's pretty intense. 0.98

00:04:32.000 And I support you.

00:04:33.000 That's a good way to bring attention to it. 0.99

00:04:36.000 But what happened was she was going in the vagina hole in doggy style, and her German exchange student boyfriend, with whom she discussed anal regularly, put it in the wrong hole momentarily. 0.99

00:04:51.000 And she claims that was the rape. 1.00

00:04:53.000 What's going on with her fucking Barack Obama fro there? 1.00

00:04:58.000 Is that her new look? 1.00

00:05:00.000 That's my new look.

00:05:01.000 That's a bad look, dude.

00:05:04.000 For a chick. 1.00

00:05:06.000 I've had the mattress. 0.98

00:05:08.000 A lot of folks say I wasn't raped.

00:05:10.000 But I was.

00:05:12.000 So anyway, if you look at what she literally went through, I have been through this yesterday.

00:05:20.000 And that's why I'm wearing this shirt.

00:05:21.000 Allow me to tell you the story.

00:05:23.000 So two days ago, I was wearing this shirt.

00:05:26.000 It's a very cozy shirt.

00:05:27.000 It's made by the Ogden brothers, I believe.

00:05:30.000 We'll find that out in a second when I take it off.

00:05:32.000 But I had my reading glasses and my normal glasses.

00:05:35.000 I had my normal glasses in my pocket, and I was wearing my reading glasses.

00:05:40.000 And I was alone at Gavstav watching Better Call Sol, which has become my new tradition.

00:05:46.000 And I put it on a chair.

00:05:49.000 And I have these canary yellow bar stools.

00:05:52.000 So to see the shirt on the chair is hurting the aesthetic of GavzTav.

00:05:56.000 So I'm annoyed by it.

00:05:58.000 When I go upstairs, I grab the shirt.

00:06:00.000 I throw it over my shoulder.

00:06:01.000 I know my glasses are in it.

00:06:03.000 And I throw it on another, like on the couch upstairs while I'm closing up the house and making sure everything is secure before bed.

00:06:10.000 Next day I wake up.

00:06:12.000 I go to get my glasses.

00:06:13.000 I can't find them anywhere.

00:06:16.000 Anywhere.

00:06:18.000 I search for 40 minutes.

00:06:23.000 The kitchen, the bedroom, under the bed, every single kid's bed.

00:06:28.000 I'm going to rooms like my daughter's room that I was nowhere near from like 6 p.m. on.

00:06:35.000 I know I had my glasses post 6 p.m.

00:06:40.000 And I had been to my, had been in my daughter's room after that.

00:06:44.000 So there's no reason to check my daughter's room.

00:06:47.000 I check it.

00:06:48.000 Then I start going crazy.

00:06:50.000 I start checking hiding spots.

00:06:52.000 I catch myself checking the fridge.

00:06:55.000 And then I'm starting to look at spots that I've already checked several times, like the dirty laundry.

00:06:59.000 It'll magically appear there.

00:07:01.000 It'll magically appear.

00:07:02.000 You did, you looked here before, but you were wrong.

00:07:05.000 You didn't look here before.

00:07:06.000 You just think you did.

00:07:08.000 Going over the same. 1.00

00:07:09.000 I'm going through my wife's laundry bag 40 fucking minutes. 1.00

00:07:14.000 I'm late for the gym, which ended up being late. 0.99

00:07:17.000 I didn't have my glasses all Wednesday.

00:07:23.000 So this goes on, and my son was, he's got a broken wrist, so he was staying in, sleeping in late.

00:07:30.000 He didn't have to go to school until 10.

00:07:31.000 I go, have you seen my glasses?

00:07:34.000 They're in a blue shirt.

00:07:36.000 This blue shirt.

00:07:37.000 They're in a blue shirt.

00:07:39.000 And he's a teenager.

00:07:40.000 So of course I get, oh.

00:07:44.000 Like, I could be on fire and go, hey, man, do you know if there's a fire extinguisher around here?

00:07:48.000 I don't know.

00:07:49.000 Well, I'm burning to death.

00:07:51.000 I'm self-emulating.

00:07:54.000 Emulating?

00:07:57.000 So he goes, no, I don't know.

00:07:58.000 Okay, so that sticks up here.

00:08:02.000 And then I go to work all day.

00:08:03.000 I go into the city.

00:08:04.000 Compound media is canceled.

00:08:07.000 So I go back to the Bronx.

00:08:09.000 We shoot a show here.

00:08:12.000 I get home, and I just can't relax. 1.00

00:08:14.000 I can't do anything until I find those fucking glasses. 0.99

00:08:17.000 Our house is not that big. 0.99

00:08:20.000 So I start doing what I call a sweep.

00:08:21.000 You know when you leave a hotel room?

00:08:23.000 You do a sweep.

00:08:25.000 You go into the bathroom.

00:08:26.000 You check every nook and cranny in case you left a charger or a toothbrush.

00:08:30.000 There's always something.

00:08:31.000 There's always an iPhone charger, especially if you're with a family.

00:08:35.000 There's always an iPhone charger.

00:08:37.000 So you start in one corner and you rule out every room.

00:08:39.000 You look under the beds.

00:08:41.000 Then you can leave the hotel room. 1.00

00:08:42.000 So I'm doing that to my own fucking home. 0.99

00:08:45.000 And I'm going deep, boys. 0.99

00:08:47.000 I'm going under couches.

00:08:48.000 I'm going into laundry rooms.

00:08:50.000 I'm checking fridges again.

00:08:53.000 I already checked the fridges.

00:08:56.000 Eventually, my wife, I've been texting her all day.

00:08:59.000 I know this is crazy.

00:09:00.000 I know you're busy, but have you seen my blued shirt with my glasses? 0.98

00:09:04.000 She doesn't even fucking respond. 0.96

00:09:07.000 That's the level of disrespect we're dealing with here. 1.00

00:09:10.000 I hate this fucking shit. 1.00

00:09:13.000 Oh, it gets worse. 1.00

00:09:15.000 So eventually they notice that I'm grumpy and I can't talk because what I'm doing now is I'm in the FBI and I'm ruling out every single area in the house. 0.96

00:09:26.000 Fridges, bars, fucking storage units, places where we store stuff. 0.98

00:09:34.000 My dogs like food. 0.99

00:09:37.000 I'm going through everything.

00:09:39.000 And I can go, I can definitively say this area has no shirt with glasses in it, right?

00:09:45.000 So pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

00:09:47.000 I'm upstairs now.

00:09:49.000 And my wife eventually goes, maybe it's in our son's dirty laundry or his clean laundry. 0.97

00:09:55.000 This has been 36 hours.

00:09:58.000 Okay, maybe not 36 hours, right?

00:10:00.000 I woke up.

00:10:01.000 Okay, it's only been like 10 hours since I lost them.

00:10:06.000 She goes to my son's bed. 0.99

00:10:10.000 What the fuck is there? 1.00

00:10:14.000 This shirt. 1.00

00:10:16.000 What's that?

00:10:17.000 Say that again?

00:10:18.000 This shirt.

00:10:20.000 What?

00:10:22.000 With my glasses in it.

00:10:23.000 What?

00:10:24.000 Fold it up?

00:10:26.000 No. 1.00

00:10:26.000 Thrown like a piece of trash. 1.00

00:10:28.000 Oh, Lord. 0.99

00:10:29.000 Discarded? 1.00

00:10:31.000 She, as she's, and this is what my wife does, and it drives me fucking nuts. 1.00

00:10:36.000 She thinks she's cleaning up when she grabs random piles of things and puts them in a neat pile. 0.95

00:10:42.000 So you could have a broken light bulb, a used syringe, a banana peel, and a notebook, and she would just go like, notebook, broken glass, used syringe, banana peel, and they'd be in a neat little stack.

00:10:54.000 That's not cleaning up. 0.88

00:10:57.000 Most of that shit goes in the garbage, and the notepad goes in the notepad section. 1.00

00:11:01.000 It's not a joke. 1.00

00:11:02.000 You've got to stay alert when you're cleaning up.

00:11:04.000 It's not a dumb job cleaning up.

00:11:06.000 It takes concentration. 0.99

00:11:09.000 You don't just fucking like not make it look like a bomb dropped. 0.97

00:11:13.000 You have to, everything in its place, a place for everything. 0.92

00:11:17.000 So anyway, she eventually notices that I'm freaking out. 0.89

00:11:25.000 I'm starting to think I'm insane, actually, because I know that this shirt has these glasses and something's fucked up.

00:11:32.000 So she checks my son's bed. 0.89

00:11:34.000 It's right there at the very top with a bunch of his other. 1.00

00:11:38.000 The kids will all wear like sweatshirts and fucking sweatpants. 0.99

00:11:41.000 She picks it up. 1.00

00:11:42.000 Oh, there it is. 1.00

00:11:44.000 Now this fucker, my son, has been sitting on his ass saying, oh, while it was two feet from him. 1.00

00:11:51.000 I know what you're saying. 1.00

00:11:52.000 Gavin, why didn't you check his room?

00:11:54.000 I did.

00:11:55.000 But the bed that he was like one foot away from, I figured it can't be that.

00:12:00.000 You're right, you're right, you're right.

00:12:01.000 I should have been more thorough in his room.

00:12:03.000 But he's going like, well, you just burst in my room, playing MLB or whatever. 0.99

00:12:08.000 And I go, I got to find my fucking shirt. 0.99

00:12:10.000 I need my glasses. 0.99

00:12:11.000 And then glasses all day.

00:12:14.000 He's like, whatever.

00:12:16.000 And then I go, she gives me the shirt and I go, it's been here the whole time?

00:12:23.000 And then my son goes, oh my God.

00:12:26.000 And I go, what are you, oh my God, I didn't have my glasses all day.

00:12:31.000 It's not just a shirt.

00:12:34.000 And then I exaggerated my nearsightedness.

00:12:36.000 I don't really need these.

00:12:38.000 I need them for reading.

00:12:39.000 How are you doing, Gavin?

00:12:40.000 They're just like reading glasses that I can wear on my face.

00:12:45.000 I miss my glasses all day.

00:12:46.000 And then I look at her and I just go.

00:12:50.000 And I decide I'm going to do something new. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Instead of going, what the fuck? 0.99

00:12:56.000 I swear to God, it was the last time. 0.99

00:12:58.000 I told you like 10 times I was trying to find my shirt with my glasses.

00:13:02.000 I was like, no, no, no, no.

00:13:04.000 This is revenge.

00:13:06.000 So guess what I did?

00:13:08.000 Nothing.

00:13:09.000 she started wearing slides. 0.99

00:13:11.000 I fucking hate slides almost as much as Crocs. 0.99

00:13:16.000 So her slides are gone. 0.99

00:13:18.000 So, is it Crocs, slides, and flip-flops or just it goes flip-flops are bad.

00:13:26.000 Slides are worse. 1.00

00:13:27.000 Crocs are unacceptable. 1.00

00:13:30.000 Especially for a woman.

00:13:32.000 You know, a grown woman, a mom.

00:13:34.000 Like, you don't have to wear stilettos every day, but you have to try a little bit.

00:13:39.000 Those are gone.

00:13:40.000 I'll never tell you.

00:13:41.000 You could torture me for 10 hours.

00:13:42.000 I would never tell you where I hid those slides.

00:13:47.000 And then with the boy, I'm Scottish.

00:13:51.000 My stomach does not work very well.

00:13:53.000 We're used to like meat pies and beer, really.

00:13:58.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 We're not good with spice or anything, but I drink a lot of liquor and eat a lot of Mexican food, a lot of jalapenos.

00:14:05.000 So my shits in the morning are... 0.99

00:14:08.000 There's a special section in the basement for me that I've been. 0.99

00:14:11.000 The IP room.

00:14:12.000 Yeah.

00:14:14.000 Gavstav.

00:14:15.000 Yes, there's a bathroom in Gavstav.

00:14:17.000 I'm supposed to use that.

00:14:18.000 No, not this morning.

00:14:19.000 I used the bathroom that's next to his room.

00:14:22.000 I destroyed that.

00:14:24.000 And I think I know why.

00:14:25.000 You blew it up, as they would say.

00:14:28.000 So that's my new form of parenting and being a husband.

00:14:32.000 And I think you should vacillate. 0.95

00:14:34.000 You can be a grump for four days. 0.80

00:14:36.000 You can get in a fight. 0.96

00:14:37.000 Or you can just smile and go, thanks for my shirt.

00:14:40.000 Thanks for my glasses.

00:14:43.000 I wish you nothing but the best. 0.94

00:14:45.000 Evil and vindictive.

00:14:46.000 The darkness behind the eyes would really alert me.

00:14:50.000 With respect to yourself.

00:14:53.000 And good luck brushing your teeth tomorrow.

00:14:56.000 Because both of you are in for a world of hurt. 1.00

00:15:00.000 And then, while they're wondering, like, why was that shit so bad? 1.00

00:15:04.000 He doesn't usually shit in my bathroom. 0.99

00:15:06.000 And where are my slides? 0.99

00:15:08.000 They look over and I'm just like stirring my coffee with this same shirt on. 1.00

00:15:13.000 Like, hey, hot shit. 0.99

00:15:17.000 How's it going? 1.00

00:15:18.000 Oh.

00:15:19.000 Notice you're wearing your normal shoes today instead of your usual slippers.

00:15:26.000 You've just been gaved.

00:15:28.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:15:30.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:15:34.000 Let's say thank you to Johnny Apple CBD, our oldest sponsor, our most wonderful sponsor.

00:15:42.000 We always talk about the tincture that we put in the coffee.

00:15:44.000 We always talk about the gummies that help you sleep.

00:15:48.000 We always talk about the vapes and the cartridges they sell and the delicious cookies they have at johnnyapple.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off.

00:16:00.000 But I was always reluctant to mention the non-THC totally legal high you get.

00:16:07.000 Because I'm like, is that good for them?

00:16:09.000 Do they want to support that?

00:16:11.000 Well, here they are saying, mention our new nighttime tincture with CBN and the HHC Super Hemp Stem Vape Pen.

00:16:22.000 The nighttime tincture is CBN infused with CBD and a really powerful relaxant.

00:16:27.000 The super hemp stem is a blend of CBN, CBD, and HHC distillate, a derivative of THC.

00:16:38.000 And it will get, here's them talking here.

00:16:40.000 It will get users extremely high and sedated. 0.99

00:16:45.000 So I know they wanted to avoid anything illegal and they do, but I didn't know if they wanted to promote the fact that some of this shit gets you real toasted. 0.99

00:16:56.000 Zonked. 1.00

00:16:58.000 Zonkified. 1.00

00:16:59.000 So take it easy on the gummies, folks. 1.00

00:17:04.000 Especially the HHC, whatever it is, super hempstem.

00:17:09.000 Like my wife had two, and she had to put an ice pack on her chest, and I had to do the Gavin McInnes show slash G-O-M-L till 2 a.m. to keep her grounded. 0.85

00:17:22.000 Of course, she said, you loved it. 1.00

00:17:23.000 No, bitch. 1.00

00:17:25.000 I didn't love staying up till 2 a.m. making sure you laughed all night. 1.00

00:17:29.000 And I don't like looking for my glasses for hours.

00:17:32.000 And by the way, with that previous story, I searched all morning.

00:17:38.000 I was not happy all day knowing that physics had been defied and a shirt that I knew should be easy to find had vanished.

00:17:48.000 I'm starting to think someone broke into my house.

00:17:51.000 Over and over.

00:17:53.000 But I do know what cheered you up yesterday.

00:17:56.000 Maddie's fantastic meat pie.

00:17:58.000 Scotch pies.

00:18:01.000 I assume that everyone in Britain loves scotch pies as much as you and I. No one in Britain has heard of them but Scottish people.

00:18:10.000 Well, James is James.

00:18:13.000 Here's my theory. 0.99

00:18:14.000 The land is so shit in Scotland that there's no arable land, so they have that weird lard pastry and then lamb on the inside. 0.99

00:18:22.000 That's all they can make with some beans. 1.00

00:18:25.000 But fuck it's good. 1.00

00:18:27.000 With lard. 1.00

00:18:28.000 You nailed it. 0.99

00:18:28.000 Now, I don't know if this will air in the next Maddie's shitty kitchen, right? 0.99

00:18:34.000 Oh, yeah, next Wednesday. 0.96

00:18:36.000 Yep.

00:18:37.000 Yesterday was the pork.

00:18:40.000 No, the shrimp peanut spicy noodles.

00:18:42.000 Maddie, could you aim the mic to your mouth a little more?

00:18:45.000 Sure.

00:18:46.000 Yeah, the spicy noodles, which was delicious.

00:18:48.000 I don't want to sound critical here because it was a fantastic meat pie, but you told me that you got the wrong pepper.

00:18:55.000 So I had pepper in my head when I bit it.

00:18:57.000 Bit it.

00:18:58.000 When I ate it.

00:18:59.000 And so it tasted peppery, but I think that may have been the result of suggestion.

00:19:06.000 The power of suggestion.

00:19:07.000 I think so.

00:19:08.000 I mean, my cousin Michael, he was there towards the tasting part.

00:19:14.000 And he's the one who mentioned it to me because Ryan and he were eating them at first.

00:19:18.000 And then I had some.

00:19:20.000 Oh, so Mike noticed it was peppery.

00:19:22.000 Yeah.

00:19:22.000 Okay, so it's not just in my head.

00:19:24.000 No, no, no.

00:19:25.000 But me planning that, see, when I said to you, hey, it was supposed to be white pepper, not black pepper.

00:19:32.000 I've got a pretty incredible guess.

00:19:34.000 Why did 14% of the recipe produce 50% of the flavor?

00:19:40.000 That's what I'm wondering.

00:19:41.000 Why, you thought it was peppery, too?

00:19:43.000 No, it was like a black violence statistics joke. 0.95

00:19:46.000 Well, don't give away the joke, dude.

00:19:48.000 Are you sorry?

00:19:49.000 Sorry, I'm checking out my phone for our imminent guest.

00:19:54.000 El gueste eminante.

00:19:56.000 So you got to give me a little more time to catch up on the joke.

00:19:59.000 Should I take a poke of this?

00:20:01.000 Now, I put a skull and crossbones on this.

00:20:04.000 This is the Delta 8.

00:20:06.000 Should we see what happens to me if I take a couple poke?

00:20:08.000 Okay.

00:20:09.000 Because I might not perform as well, which would be...

00:20:12.000 That would be impressive if you could get possibly worse.

00:20:15.000 If you get any worse than what you are now, I didn't know you'd go below zero, but that would be something.

00:20:22.000 Bye-bye.

00:20:24.000 I remember that in high school, you'd have acid, and you'd be like, see you later.

00:20:30.000 Well, that was a big poof. 1.00

00:20:35.000 Don't date.

00:20:36.000 Let's see what it do, what it does.

00:20:37.000 Back in the Adderall days, we would also, you'd have an Adderall and a large coffee, and you'd come up back when I had the ad agency, we would do a lot of Adderall.

00:20:44.000 Not a lot, actually, five milligrams. 0.96

00:20:46.000 To young people today, that's fucking to anyone today. 0.98

00:20:49.000 You're taking the peachy stirrups. 0.99

00:20:50.000 It's a lot for me.

00:20:51.000 So a large coffee and five milligrams, and I'd just go up to my business partner and go, I am high as a guy on the 4th of July.

00:21:02.000 So I'm not going to announce this guest until we call her, in case she doesn't answer.

00:21:07.000 But let's give it a whirl here, folks.

00:21:11.000 You ready?

00:21:12.000 Sure.

00:21:19.000 Tell me how the volume is there, Rye Guy.

00:21:21.000 Sounding good so far.

00:21:22.000 She's stoned to know. 0.99

00:21:25.000 I know.

00:21:32.000 Three ringy dingies, as Gilda Radner would say? 1.00

00:21:37.000 Four ringy dingies. 0.90

00:21:39.000 Not looking good, folks.

00:21:41.000 I might have to call my parents to make up for this.

00:21:50.000 Please leave your message for click on the draw.

00:21:55.000 I almost gave her a phone number.

00:21:57.000 I think they can parse the rest.

00:22:00.000 They'll just click four and then try every other combination. 1.00

00:22:03.000 You fucked up. 1.00

00:22:04.000 We all did. 1.00

00:22:07.000 It's not even four.

00:22:08.000 I don't know why she said a fuff sound.

00:22:10.000 That's Libs of TikTok.

00:22:14.000 Well, thanks for coming on.

00:22:15.000 I got her number.

00:22:16.000 She said, I saw you requested an interview.

00:22:20.000 Glad you guys got in touch.

00:22:21.000 You guys have supported me from the beginning.

00:22:23.000 I just said, I feel like I just got a text from Elvis.

00:22:26.000 And I said, love to do a sit-down, but we'll take what we can get.

00:22:28.000 She goes, let's just talk on the phone.

00:22:30.000 Sure.

00:22:30.000 And I was like, 9.15.

00:22:35.000 And I'll just explain that we're live.

00:22:39.000 By the way, speaking of live, you can go to the live desktop thing.

00:22:48.000 You click live.

00:22:49.000 Donate to read a message on air.

00:22:51.000 We'll read most of them.

00:22:53.000 $100, we'll definitely read it.

00:22:55.000 But you click right here, fill it out, read your message.

00:22:59.000 One of the reasons that this shirt was off is because it's so warm.

00:23:05.000 So that's a bit of a curse.

00:23:07.000 But I can't recommend these shirts enough.

00:23:09.000 This is...

00:23:11.000 Sorry, I was wrong.

00:23:12.000 I said Ogden Brothers.

00:23:13.000 Orton Brothers, clothing company, Western Vermont.

00:23:17.000 This is a medium.

00:23:19.000 I'm fairly fat.

00:23:20.000 I'm 5'10.5.

00:23:23.000 It's not at all snug on me.

00:23:25.000 Mediums can be pretty small.

00:23:27.000 So I weigh 196.

00:23:30.000 I think this medium would fit you if you meet any of those criteria.

00:23:34.000 But Orton Brothers, fantastic shirts.

00:23:37.000 I'm 196.

00:23:40.000 Yes, but you're petite. 1.00

00:23:42.000 Yes, I'm short.

00:23:44.000 Join the Baby Monsters Telegram group.

00:23:47.000 Okay. 0.89

00:23:48.000 Stand black and stand by. 0.97

00:23:51.000 T.m. 1.00

00:23:52.000 E slash baby monsters.

00:23:54.000 Nice.

00:23:56.000 With a zero for an O and a three for an E. Gotcha.

00:24:01.000 For our listeners out there.

00:24:03.000 So I want to ask Livs at TikTok a few things.

00:24:06.000 One, do you think you caused the don't say gay bill?

00:24:09.000 Because I think she did.

00:24:11.000 And then two, I wanted to ask her about the Taylor Lorenz defense.

00:24:16.000 So Taylor Lorenz is the, I don't know, HuffPo, Daily Beast.

00:24:19.000 They're all the same to me.

00:24:21.000 Journalist who doxed her.

00:24:24.000 The left's defense is there was two women with that name. 0.98

00:24:29.000 I wanted to make sure I didn't expose the wrong one.

00:24:33.000 So I went to the house of the other Chaya, whatever LaBlof, very like Israeli-sounding names, to say, are you the one that slips with TikTok or is it the other one?

00:24:44.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:24:46.000 Which makes you go, okay, like, say I do take that side.

00:24:50.000 Why are you so determined to find the name of the person doing the account?

00:24:55.000 Yeah.

00:24:55.000 Like, why is that so important to you?

00:24:58.000 But the reporter was all over the news a couple of months prior to that, literally crying.

00:25:04.000 Yes.

00:25:05.000 Because she was doxed.

00:25:06.000 And how horrible of a thing it was.

00:25:08.000 And then she turns around and does it.

00:25:11.000 You know, graffiti artists are popular all over New York City. 0.99

00:25:14.000 Why is there not this giant push to find out who the fuck this particular graffiti artist is? 0.98

00:25:19.000 Why do you need to know the name of the woman who's doing that? 1.00

00:25:23.000 Who cares?

00:25:24.000 Why don't you defend the people that she's exposing and point out why their ideas are awesome? 0.97

00:25:29.000 Anyway, we're missing a lot of these fucking live chats. 0.95

00:25:34.000 I feel bad. 0.98

00:25:34.000 Go back to the first one, Ryan. 0.98

00:25:36.000 Something about...

00:25:38.000 No, not that one.

00:25:39.000 Can you discuss Milo in more depth?

00:25:42.000 Why he left the industry?

00:25:44.000 What exactly is he doing?

00:25:45.000 Did he split from his husband?

00:25:48.000 He left.

00:25:49.000 We had a negotiation about pay, and it kept going up and up and up and up and up.

00:25:56.000 And then I said, dude, this is getting crazy.

00:25:58.000 And he said, I can see which way the wind is blowing.

00:26:02.000 Goodbye.

00:26:02.000 I was like, all right.

00:26:06.000 Because he's used to big money.

00:26:07.000 He's used to millions and millions of dollars.

00:26:10.000 So when he's negotiating with a Scotsman, I'm just like, I don't know.

00:26:13.000 That's a bit rich. 1.00

00:26:15.000 And then he told me to fuck off. 1.00

00:26:17.000 not in a bad way. 1.00

00:26:18.000 He just said, like, I can see which way the wind is blowing.

00:26:20.000 And I said, okay, bye.

00:26:21.000 And then I think it took him by surprise because he expected the money he was asking for.

00:26:26.000 But and then, you know, he's like me.

00:26:28.000 He's canceled.

00:26:29.000 So where else is he going to go?

00:26:30.000 So he goes to Church Militant.

00:26:32.000 They take him in.

00:26:34.000 And he's doing a great job there.

00:26:36.000 I don't know if he's split from his husband.

00:26:38.000 I mean, he says he's not gay anymore, right?

00:26:41.000 I'm going to say yes.

00:26:42.000 I'm going to guess yes.

00:26:44.000 Do you believe he will return to the scene in the coming months?

00:26:48.000 Well, this brings up the confusing question, the unanswerable question, can you come back from being canceled?

00:26:58.000 And I don't think so.

00:27:00.000 Will I ever have a Jimmy Kimmel show on NBC?

00:27:05.000 Is it even fathomable?

00:27:08.000 No, that's like a different universe.

00:27:09.000 That's a multiverse.

00:27:11.000 You think the Elon Musk Twitter thing, let's say you were back on Twitter.

00:27:14.000 If I'm back on Twitter, I'll be banned in a month.

00:27:18.000 I don't know.

00:27:20.000 Let's say you weren't.

00:27:21.000 Couldn't that put you, couldn't that start like kind of a revolution kind of revolution?

00:27:25.000 If I am back on Twitter, I'll tell you what my first tweet will be.

00:27:28.000 What? 0.99

00:27:28.000 Niggers cause the Holocaust. 0.99

00:27:30.000 I wouldn't do that. 0.98

00:27:31.000 They did.

00:27:32.000 I understand that, but I don't think.

00:27:35.000 Through basketball.

00:27:36.000 I know.

00:27:37.000 I've seen the documentary.

00:27:41.000 But.

00:27:43.000 Can you imagine?

00:27:44.000 Look, this is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.

00:27:48.000 And I'm going to say the most outrageous part first. 0.67

00:27:51.000 Niggas cause the Holocaust through basketball. 1.00

00:27:56.000 Now, I hate that word. 0.96

00:27:58.000 Basketball.

00:28:00.000 But.

00:28:02.000 No, I don't know.

00:28:03.000 I think that might, because all eyes would be on you.

00:28:05.000 They'd be like, let's see how bad you're going to be able to do it.

00:28:06.000 No, but when you're in a situation like that, you just can't resist saying the worst thing imaginable.

00:28:11.000 Yeah, I hear you.

00:28:13.000 Well, he said, Elon tweeted today that he's next going to buy Coca-Cola so he could put cocaine back in it.

00:28:18.000 Yeah, he did say that, yeah.

00:28:19.000 Do you know why Coca-Cola doesn't have cocaine?

00:28:23.000 Because it's illegal.

00:28:24.000 But why was it made illegal?

00:28:28.000 I guess people were getting hooked on it. 0.96

00:28:32.000 The American government decided that the Negro gets too crazy on cocaine. 0.93

00:28:38.000 And it's not good for society as a whole. 0.91

00:28:41.000 That's why they banned it?

00:28:42.000 They outlawed it?

00:28:44.000 They outlawed it.

00:28:45.000 They're hoping it would cut out the basketball thing that started the Holocaust. 0.99

00:28:49.000 Okay, let me...

00:28:50.000 Wait, we have hopes for Libs of TikTok. 0.90

00:28:55.000 The rest of that Milo message, they said that he's our generation's Christopher Hitchens.

00:28:59.000 Oh, he's great.

00:29:00.000 I love him.

00:29:01.000 I love him.

00:29:02.000 I always will.

00:29:03.000 You ever see the Hitchens versus brother debate?

00:29:06.000 Christopher, and what's his name, Peter?

00:29:08.000 I think so.

00:29:08.000 Hello?

00:29:09.000 Hello, Libs of TikTok. 0.78

00:29:12.000 Hi.

00:29:13.000 Hi, how are you?

00:29:14.000 Good.

00:29:15.000 How are you?

00:29:16.000 Good.

00:29:17.000 You sound like you're maybe 33.

00:29:24.000 I'm not going to confirm or deny anything about my age.

00:29:28.000 You sound like you have a large mole above your left eyebrow.

00:29:35.000 I will neither confirm nor deny anything about it.

00:29:38.000 You sound like you have a neck tattoo of an eagle giving America the finger.

00:29:44.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:29:46.000 Hi, how you doing?

00:29:48.000 I'm good.

00:29:49.000 Are we live now?

00:29:50.000 We're live.

00:29:50.000 You were being recorded.

00:29:51.000 You're being broadcast.

00:29:52.000 This is it.

00:29:54.000 Okay.

00:29:55.000 I hope I didn't pressure you into this call.

00:29:58.000 I'm more excited that you want to be my best friend, so we can scrap any interviews if I can retain that friendship.

00:30:06.000 Okay, yeah.

00:30:07.000 I mean, I'm happy to do this for you guys, but people have been sending me clips of you guys mentioning me for months already.

00:30:14.000 So I know that you guys have been supporters from the beginning, and I appreciate that.

00:30:18.000 You know, I did an interview recently where they said, Andrew Breitbart said that politics is downstream from the culture.

00:30:24.000 Can you give me an example?

00:30:26.000 And I said, libs of TikTok is the reason we have the don't say gay bill. 1.00

00:30:30.000 Would you agree with that?

00:30:32.000 Well, the left keeps saying that, and I really, really want to believe it's true, because that would make me feel so good about myself.

00:30:39.000 And I believe it's probably, it's like a tiny bit partially true, but I don't think I was the one responsible for it.

00:30:50.000 I mean, the census is obviously really on top of these things.

00:30:53.000 He knows what he's doing, and what he's doing is incredible.

00:30:55.000 And it probably was in the works for a while.

00:30:57.000 But I think it probably helped a little bit and definitely helped rally support for it.

00:31:04.000 Yep.

00:31:04.000 Well, this is the thing.

00:31:07.000 You know, politics and laws are based on the general consensus.

00:31:12.000 Sometimes the general consensus is wrong, but in this case, it was right.

00:31:16.000 And I think what happened was we all knew that kindergarten teachers are pro-gay and very left.

00:31:22.000 And we didn't really care because we thought they're just teaching them ABCs and 123s.

00:31:26.000 And ultimately, most education is just a glorified daycare.

00:31:30.000 But what you did is you took public information and you said, no, these guys are not casual about it. 0.98

00:31:37.000 It's really fucking in your face. 0.96

00:31:40.000 And that's when I think America as a whole went, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 1.00

00:31:45.000 We don't care if you're gay. 1.00

00:31:47.000 We don't care even if you're trans, if you're some chick who managed to grow a beard. 1.00

00:31:50.000 But like, your obsession with it is making me very uncomfortable. 0.83

00:31:57.000 They're obsession with pushing it onto kids. 0.93

00:31:59.000 Yeah.

00:32:00.000 And you know what we always say on this show? 0.97

00:32:02.000 We go, homosexuality is a sexual preference. 1.00

00:32:06.000 Kids are not sexual.

00:32:07.000 Why is this on the books?

00:32:11.000 Yeah.

00:32:11.000 I mean, when kids are old enough to understand, then, you know, they can choose to do whatever they want.

00:32:17.000 But, I mean, it should definitely not be in schools and it shouldn't be part of the curriculum.

00:32:23.000 Like, hey, kids, when you're dating, there's going to be a lot more oral and a lot of foreplay. 0.99

00:32:28.000 Obviously, as you get older, in a marriage, 20 years in a marriage, there's going to be a lot more doggy style than you'd expect. 0.98

00:32:37.000 Missionary is about a tenth of marital sex, okay?

00:32:41.000 It's very important you know that.

00:32:45.000 If you memorize that, then you get an A. Yeah, you can say that back to me without laughing.

00:32:50.000 And you know, another thing they don't get about kids is I have kids, and anytime it's not just sex, but any kind of like kisses or smooching or like even in a movie where two people seem attracted to each other, it disgusts them.

00:33:08.000 They abhor it.

00:33:09.000 Interesting.

00:33:10.000 Do you have, can we ask if you have any?

00:33:12.000 No, I don't have kids.

00:33:13.000 I don't have kids yet.

00:33:14.000 Yeah, they're not into it at all.

00:33:16.000 You might as well be talking to George Costanza about joining the NBA.

00:33:25.000 Anyway, second question.

00:33:27.000 So I follow a lot of leftist accounts, and their review of the Taylor Lorenz thing is that she's totally innocent.

00:33:36.000 She found your name, and then she found another woman with the same name. 0.81

00:33:41.000 So she said, I'm just going to verify that I don't expose the wrong Chaya, whatever, weird Israeli name you have.

00:33:52.000 And so I'm going to meet her to say, hey, I don't want to get you embroiled in this if I got the wrong one.

00:34:00.000 That's their defense.

00:34:03.000 What do you think of that?

00:34:05.000 Well, I think it's funny because she went on an interview afterwards and she said that she was going to post the story anyway.

00:34:14.000 And then she blamed, I don't know if you saw this, but they were saying that before the story even came out, people on Twitter were talking about how she showed up to people, my family members' homes.

00:34:26.000 And so she was blaming them for confirming the story for her.

00:34:31.000 And she was like, oh, well, you know, she murdered herself.

00:34:34.000 And then she went on an interview and literally blamed again those people who posted about her visiting family members' homes.

00:34:42.000 And then in the next sentence, literally, she's like, yeah, well, I was going to post the story.

00:34:47.000 So it's like, she was going to post it anyway.

00:34:49.000 And like, now she's blaming them for confirming my identity.

00:34:53.000 But, I mean, she, I don't even think she knows.

00:34:56.000 She does, I don't, she's lying and she knows that.

00:35:00.000 So it wasn't just one other woman with your same name that she approached.

00:35:04.000 It was all kinds of relatives.

00:35:07.000 She approached quite a few people, and there are a lot of people who actually share my name.

00:35:12.000 So I don't know how she was planning on confirming 100% who it was.

00:35:19.000 What is that name?

00:35:20.000 Is it Israeli? 0.77

00:35:22.000 No, it's not.

00:35:24.000 Okay.

00:35:26.000 I'm not even sure where it originates.

00:35:29.000 Like Eastern European, maybe? 0.77

00:35:32.000 Yeah.

00:35:34.000 So are you suing her?

00:35:35.000 Like, are you thinking of taking legal action?

00:35:39.000 I can't discuss any of that.

00:35:41.000 Sorry.

00:35:42.000 Okay.

00:35:44.000 You're not thinking of suing me, are you?

00:35:47.000 Not yet, but we'll see how the rest of this plays out.

00:35:49.000 Oh, great.

00:35:51.000 I knew this was going to be bad.

00:35:52.000 Well, thanks for calling in.

00:35:55.000 I just want to say that you're an inspiration.

00:35:58.000 I love what you do.

00:35:59.000 And just like Project Veritas, the thing I love about what you do is there's not that much editorial.

00:36:05.000 There's 0.01 editorial.

00:36:08.000 It's just, hey, everyone, I know you abore these people. 0.99

00:36:11.000 You avoid them like the plague because they're fucking annoying. 0.92

00:36:14.000 But here's just, in case you want to dip your toes in, here's what they're saying on a regular basis. 0.99

00:36:20.000 And I was shocked.

00:36:22.000 I thought I was in tune with them, but I was mortified.

00:36:27.000 Yeah, it's mortifying.

00:36:29.000 And when you keep seeing it over and over and over again, it just confirms that it's not just a one-off case.

00:36:34.000 I mean, this is happening constantly.

00:36:35.000 So it's really, it's scary what's going on.

00:36:38.000 And there seems to be an element of animosity to it.

00:36:43.000 Like, oh, you think that I'm going to go your way with the American flag?

00:36:48.000 Not only am I not doing that, these are my flags. 0.99

00:36:51.000 Like, there's a real fuck you element to it that's indicative of Antifa and the radical left. 0.92

00:36:56.000 You know, when I was a kid, my kindergarten teacher was the sweetest old lady you could conceivably imagine. 0.95

00:37:04.000 Yeah, same.

00:37:06.000 And this seems more like some sort of in-your-face, almost like revenge.

00:37:13.000 Yeah, it feels a little bit like organized.

00:37:16.000 Like, I mean, I don't know.

00:37:19.000 They're like, you know, we're going to go into all the schools.

00:37:21.000 We're going to take over all the schools and this is what we're going to do.

00:37:24.000 Yeah.

00:37:25.000 Yeah, it does feel like that.

00:37:27.000 Indoctrination.

00:37:29.000 That's the ultimate question, too, with the radical left is how much is some grandiose plan, and I vacillate from these two options.

00:37:35.000 How much is some grandiose plan, some globalist evil plan?

00:37:39.000 And how much is just like an incompetent virus that gets into the system via unions and spreads like a metastasized cancer against its own will?

00:37:51.000 I don't know.

00:37:52.000 I don't know which one.

00:37:53.000 Yeah, I don't know if we'll ever fully know how this happened and how it was organized.

00:38:00.000 And the other big thing with this is, and Jen Saki was in tears discussing this recently on the news, it's all about defending gay kids who are being bullied.

00:38:11.000 And I've checked in with parents with young kids.

00:38:14.000 The only bullying going on is anyone who doesn't say they're trans or bi.

00:38:20.000 The gay bashing thing is like 30 years out of date. 0.90

00:38:26.000 I think they just really want to be a prox. 0.84

00:38:30.000 They really want to be a what?

00:38:31.000 Oppressed.

00:38:32.000 So they want to be victim.

00:38:34.000 Yeah, and they've got oppression by proxy. 0.95

00:38:37.000 It's Munchausen, where they say, these gay kids are getting bullied and I'm standing up for them.

00:38:41.000 Okay.

00:38:42.000 Well, you may want to check in to see if the gay kids are being bullied before you change the entire educational system forever. 1.00

00:38:48.000 Right.

00:38:49.000 Like, show us evidence of that.

00:38:51.000 Yeah.

00:38:52.000 Well, thanks for calling.

00:38:53.000 We're out of time, but I should probably say this off-air, but can we become friends?

00:39:00.000 let me sleep on it.

00:39:02.000 Okay, that's great.

00:39:03.000 You got time.

00:39:05.000 Okay, all right.

00:39:06.000 Well, it's been nice.

00:39:08.000 Thanks so much for appearing on the show.

00:39:10.000 I know you put a lot of you're risking a lot more cancellation by even speaking to me, but I think you're doing the Lord's work.

00:39:20.000 All right, thank you.

00:39:21.000 Thanks, Libs.

00:39:23.000 Bye.

00:39:28.000 This is a clip from Tucker that's you might not want to be my friend.

00:39:33.000 Are you hurt by that?

00:39:34.000 Yeah.

00:39:35.000 Well, she's a busy woman. 1.00

00:39:37.000 She didn't say no.

00:39:38.000 I might have to put on my hurt shirt again.

00:39:41.000 She kind of said no.

00:39:42.000 Oh, God.

00:39:44.000 Kind of sounded like she didn't like you at all.

00:39:49.000 Didn't sound like she enjoyed the interview.

00:39:51.000 No, she did.

00:39:52.000 But this is a clip from Tucker saying she actually is responsible.

00:39:56.000 DeSantis' spokeswoman or press secretary.

00:40:01.000 Millions of parents are grateful for that.

00:40:02.000 So it's Kratina Pushaw, who's the press secretary for the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis.

00:40:06.000 Tucker, you got to go to the bottom of the partly in response to video.

00:40:09.000 Fly away in the back there.

00:40:10.000 Libs of TikTok that Florida ultimately banned public school teachers from lecturing kindergartners about sex.

00:40:17.000 That's no law.

00:40:18.000 It's one of the most popular laws in the state.

00:40:20.000 The majority of Democrats support it.

00:40:22.000 So Libs of TikTok was getting results, as good journalism does.

00:40:26.000 Not bad for a Twitter feed.

00:40:28.000 So of course that Twitter feed had to be shut down.

00:40:30.000 The Biden administration and its many servants in the news media set to work.

00:40:34.000 Pretty big.

00:40:35.000 It's a big bill.

00:40:36.000 I've never seen that Christina Peshawar retweet her.

00:40:39.000 That's a nickname, by the way, Peshawar.

00:40:41.000 Because see the way she just blows off questions?

00:40:43.000 She's like, Pushaw. 1.00

00:40:45.000 Her last name, I think, is Rudolph.

00:40:48.000 Rudolph?

00:40:50.000 I love your repetition.

00:40:51.000 But what's your fake name?

00:40:52.000 What's your fake name?

00:40:54.000 Well, I usually use Lemieux.

00:40:58.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:40:59.000 Before we go behind the paywall, let's say thank you to Beard Vet.

00:41:02.000 Beard Vet is a veteran-owned company.

00:41:04.000 Stay warm and caffeinated with Beard Vet Coffee and stay looking great with Beard Vet grooming equipment.

00:41:09.000 Beard Vet has great beard grooming products and coffee.

00:41:13.000 Check out our exclusive GOML discount at beardvet.com with promo code Gavin for 15% off all orders.

00:41:21.000 All of them.

00:41:22.000 Beard Vet has the El Diablo Coffee Blend.

00:41:25.000 That's what we have here at the studio.

00:41:26.000 Why?

00:41:27.000 That's why we're so wired and we deliver such incredible shows.

00:41:31.000 That's why, by the way, when Cumiya canceled yesterday's show, boom, we were able to pound out a brand new one from scratch because we were on El Diablo Coffee Blend.

00:41:42.000 Brazilian Roast Blend, and they are all on sale with promo code Gavin.

00:41:47.000 Plus, free shipping on all orders when you go to beardvet.com, promo code Gavin.

00:41:52.000 Sean, the owner of BeardVet's one of us.

00:41:54.000 He's a good egg.

00:41:55.000 We like him more than a friend.

00:41:56.000 Like most of our sponsors, Beard Vet is a veteran-owned and operated company.

00:42:00.000 Beard Vet stands for the national anthem.

00:42:02.000 Beard Vet kneels to the cross.

00:42:04.000 And Beard Vet's charitable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.

00:42:08.000 We support them and they support us.

00:42:10.000 Treat yourself to some excellent coffee and grooming gear.

00:42:13.000 Beardvet.com, promo code Gavin, 50% off.

00:42:17.000 CallerOne and Caller Two are getting a free gift pack from Sean and the Beard Vet team tonight.

00:42:24.000 So there's two things.

00:42:26.000 If you have a beard and you groom it, go to beardvet.com.

00:42:31.000 If you don't, do not.

00:42:34.000 If you buy coffee, why not buy it from someone who's vet owned and vet operated and supports us and supports free speech?

00:42:42.000 That seems like a no-brainer to me.

00:42:45.000 I keep telling you, my optometrist, no, not my optometrist, who do you buy your glasses from?

00:42:52.000 Uh-oh.

00:42:55.000 This is a free call from Mercedes Carrera.

00:42:58.000 Oh.

00:42:59.000 An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

00:43:04.000 This call is not private.

00:43:05.000 It will be recorded and may be monitored.

00:43:07.000 If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions.

00:43:22.000 Hey, Mercedes, you're live on the air.

00:43:24.000 Hey, Gavin.

00:43:26.000 And hey, everybody, live on the air.

00:43:28.000 What's going on?

00:43:31.000 Not much.

00:43:32.000 I'm just here in wonderful West Valley Detention Resort.

00:43:39.000 San Bernardino's been all over the news recently.

00:43:41.000 Someone just killed a Hell's Angel in a club there.

00:43:44.000 There was another major murder that went on, I think, yesterday.

00:43:49.000 Oh, really?

00:43:50.000 That place is hopping. 0.97

00:43:52.000 Yeah, it's the place to be if you want to get murdered.

00:43:57.000 How's life in jail?

00:44:00.000 Well, it is as absolutely unextraordinary as always.

00:44:08.000 They say that's the biggest part of it is it's boring.

00:44:12.000 Very mundane.

00:44:13.000 You know, it is boring, although I have to say, in the last three years, I have given myself a PhD in history.

00:44:19.000 I've read probably a thousand books. 0.99

00:44:22.000 So, you know, it's not bad for somebody who wants to read as long as you can tune out all of the idiot sounds. 1.00

00:44:31.000 Okay, so you're totally focused. 1.00

00:44:32.000 You're in your cell.

00:44:33.000 You're reading about China.

00:44:34.000 You're reading about Russia.

00:44:36.000 You're learning Mandarin.

00:44:39.000 You're investigating conspiracy theories like Russians orchestrated 9-11.

00:44:44.000 All this stuff.

00:44:45.000 Give us a grand picture of the past hundred years.

00:44:49.000 What's really going on?

00:44:52.000 What do I think is going on?

00:44:53.000 Yeah.

00:44:54.000 Okay, well, I mean, really, what we have right now, or what's going on in myself, are you asking about the money?

00:45:01.000 No, no, I mean the globe, history, Russia, China, the West, the East.

00:45:08.000 Okay, well, actually, what's happening right now, what Russia's doing, is what Russia did in the 19th century.

00:45:14.000 There's a great book by Peter Hawkirk called The Great Game.

00:45:18.000 And so the picture in Ukraine is exactly what happened with the Circassians.

00:45:27.000 The Russians invaded an area of Georgia called Circassia in about the 1830s.

00:45:35.000 And the British at the time went into an extreme amount of Russophobia.

00:45:40.000 And they did exactly what America is doing now.

00:45:43.000 America is the new Anglo-American Empire. 0.96

00:45:45.000 And the British were unwilling to fight the fight, but they armed the Circassians.

00:45:50.000 And the Circassians were absolutely leveled. 0.72

00:45:53.000 They were destroyed in this battle because the Russians have always been a disorganized army, that they will throw endless amounts of men at the fight. 0.97

00:46:03.000 So they destroyed Circassia, and they ended up annexing the empire. 0.95

00:46:08.000 The Russians are always, always expanding. 1.00

00:46:12.000 Catherine the Great always had designs for Constantinople.

00:46:16.000 Turkey has absolutely come back to life. 0.99

00:46:19.000 Most people don't know this, but there's a fight right now in Armenia and Azerbaijan.

00:46:25.000 This has come back to life.

00:46:26.000 This is because Turkey is awakening.

00:46:28.000 Catherine the Great named her two grandsons, Constantine and Alexander.

00:46:34.000 Putin wants to go down in history as Putin the Great.

00:46:37.000 He has designs to re-expand the Russian Empire.

00:46:41.000 If you notice on his podium, there's the two-headed eagle.

00:46:44.000 Do you think that there's going to be a world war?

00:46:49.000 I don't know if there will be a world war, but I think there's a handing off of power.

00:46:52.000 Most people don't know that the Russians and the Chinese are creating their own cryptocurrency that's blockchain-backed.

00:47:01.000 And whenever you see currencies change, see part of the reason that these currency blockades have not affected them is because they have created their own currency system, this blockchain-backed currency.

00:47:14.000 The Swiss sanctions have not affected them.

00:47:18.000 This is a big deal, because if they have their own currency system, then they are able to create their own transfers in Eurasia, right?

00:47:28.000 And that's why they banned Bitcoin.

00:47:30.000 90 to 95% of Bitcoin was actually mined in the Xinjiang region.

00:47:35.000 This is getting too complicated for my tiny brain.

00:47:38.000 Mercedes, we got to go.

00:47:40.000 But are we all going to die in a nuclear war within the next week?

00:47:45.000 I don't think so.

00:47:46.000 But you know what?

00:47:47.000 The Christians have been predicting the Paduusia and the resurrection of Christ and the end of the world since about 70 AD.

00:47:57.000 And it hasn't happened since then.

00:47:58.000 And I don't think it'll happen now. 1.00

00:48:00.000 I think the world will continue to repeat itself over and over because humans are very stupid and they do the same thing. 0.99

00:48:05.000 As Voltaire always said, history doesn't repeat itself, but man always does. 0.99

00:48:10.000 All right, Mercedes, thanks for calling.

00:48:12.000 All right.

00:48:13.000 Love you guys.

00:48:14.000 Love you.

00:48:14.000 Bye.

00:48:15.000 Bye.

00:48:16.000 Yeah, that's a like a I've heard that rumor that Putin actually owns Bitcoin.

00:48:23.000 Really?

00:48:24.000 Yeah.

00:48:25.000 Well, we should also make it clear before we leave that Mercedes has been accused of one of the most heinous crimes imaginable, child molestation. 0.99

00:48:33.000 There's been no evidence of that.

00:48:36.000 The authorities confiscated her hard drives and found nothing.

00:48:39.000 She's a good friend of mine, has been for many years.

00:48:43.000 I have to keep open in my mind the 1 to 2% chance that she's guilty, but you're innocent until proven guilty.

00:48:50.000 And I strongly believe that she's a victim of this political witch hunt. 0.59

00:48:57.000 She's sexy and cool and fun and interesting and smart, and she was making MAGA sound cool. 0.86

00:49:03.000 And I believe she was framed.

00:49:05.000 She's got a born-again Christian ex-husband who wanted custody of the kid and got the kid to say horrific things.

00:49:14.000 And the reason the whole case got wings, and she hasn't even been able to see a judge for three years, has it been now?

00:49:23.000 Yeah, I think it's just.

00:49:24.000 Because she's MAGA.

00:49:26.000 And my evidence, of course, is everyone else I know that's MAGA in prison, not getting any justice.

00:49:31.000 From Ethan Nordine to Joe Biggs to Max Hare to John Kinsman, the list goes on.

00:49:36.000 Brendan Vaughan, Nick Ox.

00:49:40.000 We don't have justice in this system.

00:49:42.000 We have a deep swamp mob. 0.97

00:49:45.000 And it's fucked up because we're even wondering, you know, what's true and what's not, even amongst our own friends. 0.99

00:49:53.000 It's the Soviet Union. 0.98

00:49:54.000 You don't know who to trust.

00:49:56.000 You don't know who's listening. 1.00

00:49:57.000 You don't know who's going to frame you tomorrow and throw you in prison for bullshit. 1.00

00:50:03.000 Moles everywhere. 1.00

00:50:04.000 Moles everywhere. 0.98

00:50:05.000 Can I say this too?

00:50:07.000 Ethan Nordine.

00:50:09.000 He has written a letter about his experience in there and just some of the things about the system that everybody should read.

00:50:16.000 If you go to Julie Kelly's Twitter, at Julie Kelly, at Julie underscore Kelly2, it's there at AMGreatness.com.

00:50:25.000 So that just came out today, which should be pretty huge.

00:50:27.000 Oh, good.

00:50:28.000 Yeah, we're going to get Ethan on the show.

00:50:30.000 I had trouble with SecureCorps.

00:50:31.000 I applied to SecureCorps' video messaging with him, and they let me down.

00:50:36.000 They said, no, you did not pass.

00:50:38.000 The jail refuses to let you video chat with him.

00:50:41.000 Whoa.

00:50:41.000 But Ryan got through.

00:50:42.000 I did.

00:50:43.000 Wow, that's crazy. 0.99

00:50:45.000 Anyway, it's fucking insane. 0.99

00:50:47.000 These times we're living in. 0.98

00:50:51.000 Definitely.

00:50:53.000 We saw the cops let them in.

00:50:55.000 I mean, it was a meandering, not an insurrection.

00:51:00.000 And it's...

00:51:04.000 I was talking to a bartender last night in Grand Central who was saying his wife is from Moscow.

00:51:09.000 And she goes, to this day, if they're talking about anything controversial, she takes his phone and her phone and she puts it in another room.

00:51:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:18.000 Because that's how she grew up.

00:51:20.000 But he said, but with her in Moscow, she was worried someone had a glass up against the wall.

00:51:25.000 And I was like, they did.

00:51:27.000 And he goes, yeah, they did.

00:51:29.000 It wasn't paranoia.

00:51:30.000 Wow.

00:51:31.000 And as Michael Malice points out, they would have family members turning each other in.

00:51:35.000 So you're sitting at dinner looking at everyone.

00:51:39.000 So yeah, when I talk to Mercedes, of course, there's a little tiny part of my brain going, what if my friend is lying?

00:51:45.000 What if my friend did molest a child?

00:51:48.000 It's not a fun thing to have in the back of your mind.

00:51:51.000 No.

00:51:51.000 But I'm 98% sure that she's innocent.

00:51:56.000 I think that's, she should be happy with that, right?

00:52:00.000 Yeah.

00:52:02.000 What are you at, Ryan?

00:52:03.000 With her innocence, like yeah, 90-something percent.

00:52:07.000 In the 90s?

00:52:09.000 Anyway, we're going to go behind the paywall now.

00:52:11.000 We usually only do half an hour, but we had some hot guests.

00:52:16.000 We're going to start taking calls and reading letters.

00:52:19.000 So, to the freeloaders who are not willing to spend $10 a month, you're really, I don't know, why don't you just try it for one month?

00:52:29.000 My show alone is now five days a week.

00:52:32.000 It's fantastic.

00:52:33.000 It gives you all the news you need.

00:52:34.000 It touches all the hot topics.

00:52:36.000 Tonight, we're going to be talking about what's the big hot topic. 0.96

00:52:40.000 Fucking obviously Elon Musk is big, but... 0.88

00:52:45.000 Well, if you're subscribed, you could talk to us. 0.99

00:52:48.000 Otherwise, we don't give a shit about you. 0.99

00:52:49.000 Oh, Chris Pratt. 0.98

00:52:50.000 They're trying to cancel Chris Pratt because I guess he's not rapidly left-wing the Guardians of the Galaxy guys, like for what?

00:53:00.000 For your made-up witch hunt? 0.80

00:53:01.000 So my point is going to be, this is all it takes to push back against the mob.

00:53:05.000 It takes one person in control, a CEO, a director, the manager of the restaurant, to go, yeah, I know what he did.

00:53:13.000 I know what he did.

00:53:13.000 I know what he said.

00:53:15.000 He still works here.

00:53:16.000 That's fine. 0.99

00:53:17.000 Like, I was at a pizza place the other day, and I see this fucking boomer couple freaking out and staring at me. 0.98

00:53:23.000 I'm in Westchester, and they're on the stairs, and they're pointing. 0.99

00:53:27.000 They're rich.

00:53:28.000 I can tell this guy makes $2 million a year.

00:53:30.000 Him and his wife are loaded, white couple, not Jewish, Italian, it seemed. 0.98

00:53:37.000 And he goes, he's pointing at me.

00:53:39.000 And then, and I go, hi, because the cat's out of the bag.

00:53:44.000 He goes inside the restaurant.

00:53:45.000 We're at the patio.

00:53:46.000 He goes inside the restaurant.

00:53:47.000 He complains to the owner. 1.00

00:53:50.000 And he goes, you have a fascist out there or some shit. 1.00

00:53:54.000 And the fascist, then the manager goes, we don't ask our customers their political affiliations. 0.99

00:54:00.000 It's not really my job to make sure that everyone I serve food to agrees with me politically.

00:54:05.000 So that's not really on the table.

00:54:08.000 That's all it takes.

00:54:09.000 He didn't agree with me.

00:54:10.000 I don't support the proud boys.

00:54:13.000 He doesn't have to say.

00:54:15.000 He doesn't have to Zeke Heil.

00:54:18.000 But he, so then the guy runs out.

00:54:21.000 I think I've told you this story before.

00:54:22.000 Runs out and starts going.

00:54:24.000 He has no adrenaline control.

00:54:26.000 And he goes, I know who you are.

00:54:30.000 I was telling them, I don't want you here.

00:54:32.000 I don't like you in this town.

00:54:35.000 I know your name.

00:54:36.000 You don't know my name.

00:54:37.000 I'll tell you my name.

00:54:39.000 And I go, I don't care what your name is.

00:54:41.000 I said, my usual, if you want to debate, we can debate.

00:54:44.000 If you want to fight, we can fight. 1.00

00:54:45.000 But otherwise, fuck off. 1.00

00:54:46.000 I don't care what a stranger thinks. 1.00

00:54:48.000 And he goes, I don't want you here.

00:54:51.000 I just go, why would you think I would care?

00:54:54.000 You're a stranger.

00:54:55.000 Who cares what strangers think about themselves?

00:54:59.000 I would have said, how's it feel to want? 1.00

00:55:01.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

00:55:02.000 And then he leaves, and then he comes back and he goes, oh, Jesus. 1.00

00:55:11.000 Making a movie for nothing.

00:55:12.000 I managed not to cry the entire time.

00:55:16.000 But when that fungu came out, it brought me back to happy days.

00:55:20.000 And the fonds.

00:55:23.000 And the way he would treat Richie Cunningham and Potsy.

00:55:27.000 Ralph Mouth. 0.99

00:55:28.000 And Ralph fucking Mouth. 0.99

00:55:30.000 And I thought, I came in here thinking I was Sticks, the black guy who played the drums on a few episodes. 1.00

00:55:37.000 And I'm walking out of here like a Ralph Mouth with a fucking stick up his ass. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Get fired. 1.00

00:55:45.000 Get in trouble.

00:55:46.000 Be brave.

00:55:47.000 And never stop fighting.

00:56:08.000 Joy into your life.

00:56:09.000 You can still be called daddy if the mother's not your wife. 0.99

00:56:12.000 Don't be scared.

00:56:12.000 Be prepared.

00:56:13.000 Cause love is gonna get you.

00:56:14.000 It'll always be your child.

00:56:16.000 Even if she ain't with you.

00:56:18.000 So don't run on your child when it's your own.

00:56:20.000 Cause if you're for now, then you'll regret it.

00:56:22.000 When it's grown, be a father to your child.

00:56:28.000 Be a father to your child.

00:56:33.000 Be a father to your child.

00:56:36.000 Be a father to your child.

00:56:37.000 That song would be racist today. 0.91

00:56:40.000 If that was a country song and it had all black people in the video and it was... 0.94

00:56:44.000 Probably any other genre.

00:56:45.000 Try to be a father to your child. 0.96

00:56:48.000 Black man. 0.99

00:56:57.000 I didn't get a lot of warning there, Ryan. 0.94

00:56:59.000 Sorry.

00:57:01.000 You have hurt me today.

00:57:04.000 Well, I want a new video dropped.

00:57:06.000 There's a scene in Husbands and Wives where Judy Davis, I think her name is. 0.86

00:57:12.000 And what's his name?

00:57:15.000 Where's like, were you the infant?

00:57:18.000 Get in the car, you infant is good.

00:57:20.000 But what's his name again?

00:57:22.000 Seymour Grande?

00:57:23.000 Seymour Grande, yeah, that's got to be it.

00:57:28.000 She's going on a date with a guy, and he wants to go to an opera, and she's been fighting with her ex-boyfriend. 0.99

00:57:36.000 What the fuck's his name? 0.98

00:57:38.000 And he goes, the new guy on the date goes, I can't go. 0.99

00:57:45.000 I'm upset.

00:57:48.000 Hi, Sally.

00:57:49.000 There he is.

00:57:50.000 Thank you very much.

00:57:51.000 Come into my rent-stabilized den.

00:57:53.000 Can I take your coat?

00:57:54.000 It's lovely.

00:57:56.000 I love it.

00:57:58.000 Thank you.

00:58:00.000 Is this the scene?

00:58:01.000 Yeah.

00:58:02.000 I thought we'd have a drink, and I was able to get some tickets to Don Giovanni.

00:58:06.000 Great.

00:58:06.000 Oh, another Don Juan story.

00:58:08.000 Yes, yes.

00:58:09.000 Sidney Pollack.

00:58:10.000 What would you like?

00:58:11.000 Anything.

00:58:12.000 She's a white white wine.

00:58:17.000 Every time I see these old New York movies, I'm like, how'd you get that apartment?

00:58:22.000 I mean, it's like, it would be $3,700 today.

00:58:24.000 Those are pre-war, too, because they get the high ceilings.

00:58:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:28.000 What's your job?

00:58:29.000 That's why he said rent-controlled Ben.

00:58:32.000 Well, how'd you get a rent-controlled place?

00:58:34.000 Rent control is law.

00:58:35.000 You can only go up 3%.

00:58:37.000 Right, but they're impossible to get.

00:58:40.000 Yeah, because it's either got to be a family member.

00:58:42.000 Puerto Rican grannies live in those things. 1.00

00:58:44.000 Yeah, and then they're like grandchildren are moving because they're family.

00:58:47.000 Right, yeah.

00:58:47.000 It'll keep them.

00:58:48.000 It's like friends. 1.00

00:58:49.000 Because you see that giant apartment, you're like, fuck you, this is bullshit. 1.00

00:58:53.000 Yeah, it's only allowed illegally to go up by 3% a year. 1.00

00:58:56.000 So what's the drop in here?

00:58:57.000 You'll see.

00:58:59.000 Because I do.

00:59:00.000 Yes, I heard. 1.00

00:59:04.000 Don't give me that shit. 1.00

00:59:05.000 It's been three fucking weeks. 1.00

00:59:06.000 How did you meet someone so fast? 1.00

00:59:09.000 Oh, bullshit. 1.00

00:59:10.000 You had to have known it before. 1.00

00:59:13.000 Bullshit! 1.00

00:59:13.000 Don't give me that shit! 1.00

00:59:17.000 Oh, you're in love. 1.00

00:59:20.000 So fast? 0.99

00:59:24.000 I don't fucking believe it. 0.99

00:59:27.000 You were seeing whoever it is all along. 1.00

00:59:31.000 Quintessential American male.

00:59:33.000 Of course I expected things to happen, but not so fast.

00:59:37.000 Are you that sure?

00:59:38.000 Okay, maybe jump ahead a bit.

00:59:40.000 You've got a personal thing.

00:59:42.000 Really?

00:59:42.000 Don Joe.

00:59:43.000 Think of it as Mozart. 0.99

00:59:45.000 Fucking Don Wands. 1.00

00:59:47.000 They should have cut his fucking dick off. 1.00

00:59:54.000 Can I get that some more wine? 1.00

00:59:56.000 I hate white collars with a different colored body. 1.00

01:00:02.000 Of course it's gay. 1.00

01:00:03.000 It's like a convertible. 0.99

01:00:04.000 I've never seen someone in a convertible that's not a douche.

01:00:09.000 Oh, no, no.

01:00:09.000 Oh, wait, go back.

01:00:11.000 What you like? 0.99

01:00:12.000 No, no, not that far, psycho. 0.70

01:00:14.000 I think it was final.

01:00:14.000 I didn't realize you were having anything.

01:00:16.000 Of course, you went back to the cave days.

01:00:19.000 What time do we have to be there?

01:00:21.000 Listen, I don't really think I can do this.

01:00:25.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:27.000 There.

01:00:28.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:30.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:32.000 So when I'm freaking out about something or something's going bad for the show, you can just pipe in.

01:00:38.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:40.000 That's great.

01:00:43.000 Feeling upset.

01:00:44.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:46.000 I'm feeling upset.

01:00:47.000 It's got a music.

01:00:48.000 Myrtle.

01:00:49.000 Myrtle.

01:00:50.000 Oh, my.

01:00:51.000 First of all, who's going to allow somebody that they just met to use their home phone?

01:00:57.000 Long drawn out.

01:00:58.000 They're on a date.

01:01:00.000 They're dating her.

01:01:01.000 What are you going to say?

01:01:01.000 No?

01:01:03.000 She's arguing about her previous lover having a new girlfriend.

01:01:07.000 Yeah, what are you going to say? 1.00

01:01:08.000 Get off my fucking phone, bitch. 1.00

01:01:10.000 I'm like, yo, this is not the time or place to have that conversation. 1.00

01:01:14.000 Well, you're working class. 0.95

01:01:17.000 These are elites.

01:01:19.000 Oh.

01:01:19.000 These are the Upper West Side Manhattanites.

01:01:23.000 Okay.

01:01:23.000 They don't say, my man, we're not doing this right now.

01:01:27.000 This is not happening here.

01:01:28.000 Well, that's a good segue into our first letter.

01:01:30.000 Should we do the mailbag segue?

01:01:32.000 Did we do that?

01:01:33.000 We didn't do it.

01:01:34.000 Let's do it.

01:01:35.000 The interstitial?

01:01:35.000 Sure.

01:01:36.000 Why the hell not? 1.00

01:01:38.000 Ryan, shut up. 1.00

01:01:40.000 You don't have a dad. 1.00

01:01:42.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:01:48.000 Let me touch it.

01:01:50.000 So this letter is called, Did Maddie Get Into a Situation on a Bus?

01:01:54.000 Question Mark.

01:01:54.000 On a bus.

01:01:55.000 And I don't think Maddie takes the bus, but someone claims to have footage of Matthew O'Dell on a bus dealing with some pox.

01:02:04.000 Loading.

01:02:06.000 Let's see this.

01:02:07.000 I'd love it.

01:02:09.000 Maybe it could be old footage.

01:02:10.000 You know, we don't know.

01:02:11.000 But if my computer pulls this, this does look like one second.

01:02:17.000 Is that you?

01:03:24.000 See, palm trees.

01:03:26.000 Yeah.

01:03:26.000 That guy has no tattoos.

01:03:28.000 Yeah, that's got to be Oakland.

01:03:31.000 So that's before you got tattoos?

01:03:36.000 I watched that whole thing.

01:03:37.000 They go back and forth.

01:03:38.000 I started getting tattoos at 14, Ryan. 1.00

01:03:40.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:03:41.000 So this is when you were 13 years old. 1.00

01:03:43.000 You look older, though.

01:03:44.000 That's crazy.

01:03:46.000 I was probably on the bus at 13. 1.00

01:03:49.000 Damn. 0.99

01:03:49.000 Stand clear of the doors. 0.99

01:03:54.000 So did he do anything?

01:03:56.000 Because everybody would have been dead if that was Maddie.

01:03:59.000 That's my assumption.

01:04:00.000 There was a lot of talk, allegedly.

01:04:02.000 Yeah.

01:04:02.000 That's called making movies.

01:04:04.000 You can go out making movies out here.

01:04:06.000 Welcome a new Gavin into the world.

01:04:07.000 Hey, Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan.

01:04:09.000 Please welcome Gavin Eric into the world, a boy who was named after one of the biggest positive influences in my life.

01:04:16.000 Eric the Midget, I guess he means.

01:04:19.000 From Stern Show.

01:04:20.000 Of course.

01:04:21.000 Don't worry, Gavin.

01:04:22.000 Oh, high-pitch Eric, he means.

01:04:24.000 He's my second son. 0.97

01:04:25.000 I don't plan on being a fag, so there should be more to come. 0.98

01:04:29.000 Little cutie this guy. 0.98

01:04:30.000 Show the cutie?

01:04:32.000 Isn't it weird how that one baby blanket is universal for all babies everywhere in the hospital?

01:04:38.000 Oh, in the hospital nursery?

01:04:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:41.000 Like, whoever invented that fucking blanket is doing pretty good for themselves. 1.00

01:04:47.000 That is the blanket. 1.00

01:04:50.000 And the hat.

01:04:51.000 And the hat.

01:04:52.000 The little hat, yeah.

01:04:53.000 The little hat there.

01:04:54.000 They wouldn't let us keep it. 0.99

01:04:55.000 I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:04:56.000 What? 1.00

01:04:57.000 Yeah.

01:04:57.000 You should have just said, oh, I'll give it back.

01:04:59.000 Yeah.

01:05:00.000 As soon as I find it.

01:05:01.000 Yep.

01:05:03.000 Like the other nurse took it.

01:05:04.000 I don't know.

01:05:05.000 She never brought it back.

01:05:06.000 I gave it to the other nurse. 0.96

01:05:07.000 I thought my wife was going to be on my team with that. 1.00

01:05:09.000 I was like, we have to have it.

01:05:10.000 Yeah.

01:05:10.000 And she's like, we can't.

01:05:12.000 Women hate scams. 1.00

01:05:14.000 We got to.

01:05:15.000 You know what you pay for childbirth? 1.00

01:05:18.000 It's coming home.

01:05:19.000 Yeah.

01:05:19.000 It's going home.

01:05:19.000 Yeah.

01:05:21.000 That's going to baby scrapbook. 0.97

01:05:23.000 Childbirth's weird.

01:05:24.000 Like, I have a weird insurance where if it's sort of like emergency insurance, so if something breaks a thousand, then it pays.

01:05:30.000 Yeah.

01:05:30.000 But otherwise not.

01:05:33.000 Your wife had teacher's insurance, right?

01:05:35.000 Something like that.

01:05:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:36.000 Some sort of shit. 1.00

01:05:37.000 I was working when my son was born. 1.00

01:05:40.000 I was working for Great Spring Mortars of America, Poland Springs, and Nestle.

01:05:46.000 And, you know, we had a good HMO.

01:05:48.000 I think it was Aetna.

01:05:49.000 I can't remember what the hell insurance was back then.

01:05:52.000 But of course, my wife has to go to a doctor outside of the plan. 1.00

01:05:57.000 So I got to pay cash.

01:05:59.000 And what was that?

01:05:59.000 10 grand.

01:06:00.000 Wow.

01:06:01.000 Wow.

01:06:02.000 Yeah.

01:06:04.000 Exactly.

01:06:05.000 To have my beautiful son into the world.

01:06:08.000 Yeah.

01:06:09.000 Yeah, 10 grand out of pocket in 1995.

01:06:12.000 Whoa.

01:06:14.000 But I love her.

01:06:14.000 I love him.

01:06:16.000 It worked out.

01:06:17.000 Are you guys ever going to get back together?

01:06:19.000 Never.

01:06:20.000 I mean, you and your son.

01:06:24.000 Hey, Gav, you mentioned Viet Cong, now known as preoccupations and their whole situation with the name change.

01:06:29.000 But have you had any experiences for the thoughts on the band, their music, members, previous band, women with focalists mathfligo? 0.94

01:06:36.000 No, I couldn't give less of a shit about the band Vietnam. 0.92

01:06:40.000 And they were called Vietnam, not Viet Cong. 0.99

01:06:43.000 So that's a boring letter message.

01:06:48.000 MSLK knife.

01:06:49.000 Hey, Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan.

01:06:51.000 Maddie, can you tell us about the knife you use while prepping food on MSLK?

01:06:56.000 I never thought of the show as an acronym before.

01:06:59.000 MSLK.

01:07:00.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

01:07:01.000 Why don't we just lose shitty and just call it the MLK show? 0.96

01:07:04.000 Because MLK is already taken. 0.95

01:07:06.000 By who?

01:07:06.000 Martin Luther King.

01:07:08.000 The Protestant guy who lost the tablets?

01:07:14.000 I rely heavily on my Cutco French chef knife, and I'm wondering why you chose the one you choose.

01:07:22.000 That's just a vegetable chopping knife that I use.

01:07:24.000 I think the actual brand on it, I mean, I don't know, it's not that expensive or anything.

01:07:30.000 I think it's Kamikoto.

01:07:31.000 But Joanna here, oops, I said her name, is asking why you chose that particular knife.

01:07:39.000 You used to work at a kitchen distributor, right?

01:07:41.000 So you had access to anything.

01:07:43.000 Yeah.

01:07:44.000 I mean, knives, some knives are like $600.

01:07:49.000 Cutting knives, carving knives.

01:07:51.000 Okay, why'd you choose the one you chose? 1.00

01:07:54.000 Answer the fucking question. 0.99

01:07:56.000 To be honest with you, I liked the way it looked. 1.00

01:07:58.000 Because it's a very thick, wide blade, and it's very blunt on the end.

01:08:03.000 Is that the Japanese one in the case? 0.89

01:08:05.000 Yeah, that's a set.

01:08:06.000 There's two cases, and there's four knives in it.

01:08:09.000 I never showed you mine.

01:08:10.000 It's the Shun Premier Santuco.

01:08:13.000 Eight inch.

01:08:14.000 Did your dad give you that instead of love?

01:08:16.000 No.

01:08:17.000 Oh, not even that.

01:08:18.000 No, not even that.

01:08:21.000 Ryan, can you pull up a clip real quick?

01:08:24.000 Like, I'm chopping the red bell peppers.

01:08:26.000 Oh, yeah, let me see if I got that.

01:08:29.000 You can see the night.

01:08:31.000 Well, we'll jump to the next song letter. 0.97

01:08:34.000 When we find that, this one's called Shit Music. 0.96

01:08:36.000 Ryan, you don't have to find it. 0.96

01:08:37.000 There's nothing here but text. 1.00

01:08:39.000 What's up, Faggots? 1.00

01:08:41.000 Ouch, which I don't like. 1.00

01:08:42.000 That hurts my feelings because it was derogatory.

01:08:44.000 This person is obviously not a member of the LGBTQIA community.

01:08:50.000 Don't forget the plus.

01:08:51.000 Plus community.

01:08:53.000 Do you know what IA is?

01:08:56.000 IA? 0.67

01:08:57.000 Yeah, LGBTQ.

01:08:59.000 Inclusive.

01:08:59.000 IA.

01:09:01.000 Isn't it inclusive or intersex? 0.89

01:09:04.000 Intersex. 0.94

01:09:05.000 Oh. 0.95

01:09:05.000 And A is asexual. 0.95

01:09:08.000 Oh.

01:09:08.000 Asexual.

01:09:10.000 Neither of us have been laid in like a couple weeks.

01:09:12.000 I guess we're A?

01:09:14.000 Yeah.

01:09:15.000 I mean, I'm not happy about it, but I'm definitely A since we renovated our bathroom.

01:09:21.000 See how it's blunted at the end?

01:09:25.000 There's like no tip or anything.

01:09:26.000 It's just...

01:09:27.000 That's what Siddiq Khan wants in London to stop all the murders.

01:09:30.000 He thinks it's the fact that knives are pointy.

01:09:33.000 Oh, I heard you lost your temper making the meat pies.

01:09:36.000 Oh.

01:09:37.000 Little baby monster one on camera.

01:09:40.000 I told Ryan that you're going to have to do like an outtake part for like a day.

01:09:44.000 No, no, that's an intake.

01:09:47.000 That's going in the...

01:09:48.000 That's making the.

01:09:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:51.000 Yeah, the lack of counter space was definitely.

01:09:57.000 Well, we know you have access to a fancy business kitchen, but I want to save that for like something major.

01:10:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:03.000 50 lasagnas.

01:10:05.000 Oh, definitely.

01:10:06.000 Put it this way.

01:10:09.000 Oh, you have him losing his temper?

01:10:11.000 Oh, yeah, he has it here.

01:10:13.000 Is this it, Ryan?

01:10:14.000 You can give a little sneak peek, I guess.

01:10:16.000 You can give a little sneak peek.

01:10:17.000 Yeah, why not?

01:10:18.000 That looks like the poop emoji.

01:10:22.000 So I'm rolling this pen.

01:10:23.000 I'm rolling this out.

01:10:24.000 This one might be the success.

01:10:25.000 Turn it up.

01:10:26.000 I want to hear him.

01:10:27.000 This is the success one, I think.

01:10:31.000 Okay.

01:10:31.000 So now we got our...

01:10:34.000 You'll notice it because there's less and less stuff against the wall.

01:10:38.000 Because I'm trying to get space to roll it.

01:10:44.000 You got to go to the ones where there's nothing there, Ryan.

01:10:47.000 Like against the back wall.

01:10:52.000 Wait, did I cut before that?

01:10:54.000 Oh, you don't have it?

01:10:55.000 No, no, we have it on the GoPro for sure.

01:10:58.000 But we have to pick it up.

01:11:01.000 It would start ripping and tearing.

01:11:03.000 Don't worry about that.

01:11:05.000 Oh, here it comes, dude.

01:11:08.000 I'm getting nervous already.

01:11:09.000 All right.

01:11:09.000 Scratch that for a second.

01:11:13.000 Retake.

01:11:15.000 Don't seem mad. 1.00

01:11:17.000 I tell you, the fucking rolling pin gets smashed on the counter and everything. 0.99

01:11:21.000 Yeah, it's on the GoPro. 1.00

01:11:23.000 Okay, so you let us down.

01:11:25.000 All right.

01:11:25.000 Well, this is a sneak peek.

01:11:27.000 If you don't have it, just don't get our fucking hopes up. 0.99

01:11:30.000 Hang on. 1.00

01:11:31.000 I gotta step away for a second.

01:11:34.000 This is gonna turn away.

01:11:35.000 I'm gonna step away from it.

01:11:36.000 Real fast.

01:11:37.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:37.000 No, this is all here.

01:11:38.000 Okay.

01:11:39.000 Now you want this to sink in.

01:11:44.000 Oh, is it I gotta I gotta step away for a second. 1.00

01:11:51.000 Yeah, this is gonna turn to a shit show real fast. 0.99

01:11:54.000 Is it more flour it needs or something? 1.00

01:11:56.000 No.

01:11:58.000 I'm rolling it too thin.

01:12:00.000 It's too delicate.

01:12:01.000 I'm just letting my emotions get the best of me.

01:12:04.000 Yep.

01:12:04.000 Ooh, look at them.

01:12:10.000 Oh, I think right about now.

01:12:18.000 And it's just funny because it's just like a little cute little ball of dough.

01:12:23.000 That's the thing that's got the... 0.99

01:12:25.000 Oh, every time that flipped up to it, I was like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:12:28.000 See, now see the lip on the stove there? 0.99

01:12:31.000 I can't get the rolling pin to go flat.

01:12:35.000 That's why I'm like rolling it like this. 0.99

01:12:38.000 That's why the show is called Maddie's Shit. 1.00

01:12:40.000 In the kitchen. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Rewind that for a second, Ron.

01:12:46.000 Wait, that's all it was?

01:12:48.000 Oh, but...

01:12:50.000 It literally...

01:12:51.000 Look at it before he hit it and look at it after it.

01:12:54.000 It literally has a permanent dent in there.

01:12:57.000 That's not there before.

01:12:59.000 Oh, he keeps getting pissed.

01:13:00.000 I mean, but show me more. 1.00

01:13:07.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:13:09.000 Wait, where's the rolling pin? 1.00

01:13:11.000 It's right there.

01:13:12.000 I mean, the rolling pin smash.

01:13:15.000 He smashed it.

01:13:16.000 Well, go back.

01:13:17.000 Let's see the smash better.

01:13:19.000 Oh. 1.00

01:13:20.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:13:22.000 That's nothing. 1.00

01:13:23.000 Oh. 1.00

01:13:25.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:13:26.000 My dad would total the entire kitchen. 1.00

01:13:28.000 The chairs would just be toothpicks.

01:13:30.000 Oh, I said it.

01:13:31.000 I said everything on this counter.

01:13:33.000 They get everything that was around it.

01:13:34.000 I said, it's going to end up all over my apartment.

01:13:36.000 I was like, it was driving me bananas.

01:13:39.000 But I managed to squeak three out. 1.00

01:13:41.000 What's up, Faggots? 1.00

01:13:42.000 I like everything about recent Maddie's shitty little kitchen except for the fucking depressing music playing in the background. 1.00

01:13:48.000 It's creepy and it doesn't fit with the chill vibes. 0.99

01:13:52.000 If that's Ryan using his own music as a soundtrack, he should have his hands cut off.

01:13:57.000 It's not my own music.

01:13:58.000 The best will.

01:14:00.000 It is not my own music.

01:14:01.000 And I think it adds a good something, something.

01:14:04.000 I don't know.

01:14:05.000 Where do you get it from?

01:14:06.000 I get it from a very exclusive, expensive site.

01:14:10.000 Okay.

01:14:11.000 And in fear of any literature.

01:14:14.000 Brian does put it in there by himself.

01:14:16.000 I'm not really involved in the music.

01:14:19.000 It should be like for the Scotch pies, you should use just bagpipe music.

01:14:22.000 Yeah, I try.

01:14:23.000 Scotland and Brave.

01:14:24.000 I tend to, you know, I mean, like, pork shoulder doesn't really have, like, an ethnic theme or anything, but I just kept it chill.

01:14:30.000 Oh, are they talking about the electric stove?

01:14:36.000 Welcome to another edition of Mac Cheese.

01:14:37.000 Oh, I did put the electric slide in one of the.

01:14:42.000 Because my stove is electric, and the oven is electric.

01:14:45.000 It's electric.

01:14:46.000 So I think when I was doing it, I was like, oh, yeah, it's electric.

01:14:49.000 So he put the song, it's electric, playing in the background.

01:14:53.000 Immediate action.

01:14:54.000 But the music is.

01:14:55.000 I need the action drills in there.

01:14:57.000 Okay, last one before we take calls.

01:15:01.000 Hey, G-Dog, Jackety-Chan. 0.99

01:15:05.000 And Maddie, there was recently a book published by the American Association of Pediatrics all about puberty, but including all this trans shit. 1.00

01:15:13.000 They also talk about puberty blockers and how they're healthy and safe. 0.98

01:15:16.000 I attached an NPR article that conveniently leaves out the puberty blockers.

01:15:20.000 Also, my pet Biden spoke at a Teacher of the Year event and told the teachers that kids don't, yeah, we're going to cover that tomorrow.

01:15:28.000 Kids don't belong to the parents.

01:15:29.000 They belong to the schools.

01:15:31.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:15:32.000 So this NPR article about a new puberty guide for kids leaves out the puberty blockers part, which are permanently damaging. 0.99

01:15:42.000 If girls take puberty blockers, they are unable to have kids for the rest of their fucking lives. 1.00

01:15:48.000 Oh, geez. 1.00

01:15:50.000 How did we end up here?

01:15:51.000 I don't know.

01:15:52.000 That's disgusting. 0.98

01:15:53.000 They might be racist, and they might start a world war. 0.99

01:15:58.000 No? 1.00

01:15:59.000 But let's ignore adults giving fucking eight-year-old girls, or I guess puberty blockers must come around 12 and 13, must block their puberty. 1.00

01:16:10.000 You would never even conceive of what does it serve? 0.99

01:16:12.000 I could never conceive of that as a thing.

01:16:15.000 Mengalu.

01:16:16.000 Puberty blocker.

01:16:17.000 Yeah, what purpose is it? 1.00

01:16:19.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:16:19.000 Why does that even exist? 0.99

01:16:22.000 Like, I can understand there's a market for death blockers.

01:16:26.000 You don't want to die.

01:16:27.000 Menopause blockers, maybe.

01:16:29.000 Puberty blocker.

01:16:30.000 How did that... 0.99

01:16:32.000 How'd they get money to fucking create that? 0.99

01:16:35.000 Yeah, that's disturbing. 0.99

01:16:37.000 I don't like that when I turned 40, I could no longer read without glasses.

01:16:42.000 We don't want to have to carry on reading glasses everywhere.

01:16:45.000 Fix that.

01:16:46.000 Puberty, not a thing.

01:16:48.000 Everyone goes through it.

01:16:50.000 Yeah.

01:16:50.000 Everyone on this planet that's over 50 times beating off six times.

01:16:53.000 15 went through puberty.

01:16:56.000 $100 by Scott Johnson.

01:17:00.000 What pharmaceutical company distributes that?

01:17:03.000 Who is the scientist who said, I have an idea? 1.00

01:17:05.000 Who's the fucking doctor that prescribes menstruation with women? 0.99

01:17:09.000 Why don't I work on preventing pubes? 1.00

01:17:13.000 Nashville is only a seven-hour drive from Chicago.

01:17:16.000 If you did the live event in Nashville instead of Orlando, maybe Crip Daddy could attend.

01:17:21.000 Also, I'm the one who told Libs of TikTok about you and Anthony, and that's why she follows him on Twitter.

01:17:26.000 Oh, thank you, Scotch and Brye.

01:17:29.000 That's amazing.

01:17:30.000 And yeah, we're going to do more of these.

01:17:32.000 Nashville.

01:17:34.000 If you could freak your Friday into any of your co-hosts' bodies, who would you pick, assuming everything you see you get to record used for content?

01:17:43.000 Oh.

01:17:45.000 I got to say Crip Daddy.

01:17:49.000 Okay.

01:17:49.000 He does count.

01:17:50.000 I would want to know what it's like to be paralyzed.

01:17:52.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:17:54.000 And not just for a minute, but for like, I would like to be Crip Daddy for a week.

01:18:00.000 Wouldn't you?

01:18:01.000 No, I had a cellmate that was paralyzed from the waist down.

01:18:05.000 It was crazy.

01:18:07.000 So was a chair in his cell?

01:18:08.000 Yeah, he had a wheelchair.

01:18:10.000 I was in the infirmary at the time'cause of my heart condition.

01:18:13.000 Oh.

01:18:14.000 And uh, yeah, like he c he would sometimes add like to like adjust his leg.

01:18:20.000 'Cause he had a steel rod.

01:18:21.000 Like, I guess when you have those injuries, when you're paralyzed from the waist down, mid-body down, like, he had a rod inserted into his back to help him, like, support his upper body.

01:18:30.000 So, I guess he was, like, it hurts after a while.

01:18:32.000 So, he was like, yo, can you, like, adjust my.

01:18:34.000 And I'd have to pick his leg up by the cuff of his pant, like this.

01:18:38.000 And just like, like, picking the leg up and just feeling that it was just like a dead fish. 0.94

01:18:45.000 It was so fucking freaky. 0.64

01:18:47.000 And to make him feel better, you just sway it? 0.97

01:18:50.000 Like, I would just move it over towards wherever he...

01:18:53.000 Because he said when he first got paralyzed like that, he started burning himself.

01:19:00.000 Like, with hot water.

01:19:01.000 Because you can't feel the hot water.

01:19:03.000 And they try to do it with lighters.

01:19:05.000 It was bizarre, man.

01:19:06.000 Because he got paralyzed in a car accident when he was like nine or ten years old.

01:19:12.000 The funny thing?

01:19:13.000 You know what he was in jail for?

01:19:15.000 Kidnapping.

01:19:17.000 He's in a wheelchair.

01:19:21.000 What did he do?

01:19:22.000 Grab her and slump her over the chair?

01:19:24.000 No, it was some girl that you used to talk to online, and she told him that she was over 18, and she was like, yeah, I'm coming down your way.

01:19:31.000 And he lived in New, I don't know if he lived in New Jersey or the girl lived in New York.

01:19:35.000 That's why he was in New York prison.

01:19:37.000 He had nine years for it.

01:19:40.000 What kind of kidnapping, though?

01:19:42.000 Because kidnapping is the weirdest thing.

01:19:43.000 He went and picked her up and jumped on your car and you drive, you kidnapped him.

01:19:47.000 Right, but she, he drove up there and the girl got in his car and then they went back to his house and then she started acting real weird. 0.99

01:19:57.000 So I think he dropped her off in like Coney Island or something like that.

01:20:02.000 And then she got like wigged out and said, I'm underage and said, you know, I'm not 18.

01:20:08.000 She was like 17.

01:20:10.000 And she said, you kidnapped me. 1.00

01:20:12.000 And the fucking police came and got her. 1.00

01:20:14.000 And then they locked him up and gave him nine years. 1.00

01:20:16.000 Wow.

01:20:17.000 He said, how did you force her to get in a car? 1.00

01:20:20.000 You can't get out of the car.

01:20:21.000 Push her in there with your wheelchair. 1.00

01:20:23.000 Right. 1.00

01:20:24.000 Yeah, it was fucked up, man. 0.99

01:20:26.000 So I'm trying to play devil's advocate here, and it's not working. 0.99

01:20:30.000 Like, should he have asked for ID, I guess?

01:20:33.000 No, I mean, I. But you don't ask for ID when you're dating.

01:20:36.000 He was probably like 19 or something when he was in jail. 1.00

01:20:38.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:20:39.000 Wow, that's a judicial mistake. 1.00

01:20:41.000 Nine years. 1.00

01:20:42.000 Nine fucking years. 1.00

01:20:43.000 Nine years in maximum security prison. 1.00

01:20:46.000 All of his 20s gone.

01:20:47.000 Gone. 1.00

01:20:50.000 Fucking crazy. 1.00

01:20:52.000 Damn. 1.00

01:20:53.000 Bananas. 1.00

01:20:55.000 Too bad he wasn't black. 1.00

01:20:56.000 Kim Kardashian would be trying to be. 0.98

01:20:59.000 Not good enough.

01:21:01.000 Did he look white?

01:21:06.000 He had a similar complexion to Ryan.

01:21:08.000 Yeah, not good enough.

01:21:11.000 I just found it, because I thought he was bullshitting me when I first was in the cell with him. 0.96

01:21:16.000 I was like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:21:18.000 He's like, dude, he's like, I got nine years for fucking kidnapping. 0.99

01:21:22.000 I'm like, your wheelchair, like, like, try not to offend a guy. 0.99

01:21:25.000 I'm like, you've been paralyzed since you're 10 years old from the waist down.

01:21:30.000 What do you mean you kidnapped somebody?

01:21:32.000 Do you think today's society is beyond you own?

01:21:37.000 I can't read that one.

01:21:38.000 Your own conception.

01:21:39.000 Your own conception of how Sodom and Gomorrah was.

01:21:41.000 I perceived SNG to have been rife with sexual deviancy, which we all see today.

01:21:45.000 But were they doing post-birth abortions and distorting simple universal truths to promote generalized confusions and fear?

01:21:53.000 I don't know.

01:21:54.000 Are we worse than Sodom and Gomorrah?

01:21:55.000 Or what about the pre-World War II, what do they call that in Berlin? 1.00

01:21:59.000 The fucking... 0.99

01:22:00.000 I always forget this when I'm trying to remember it, but the culture of Germany before World War II with the old ladies prostituting themselves. 1.00

01:22:10.000 Are we that bad?

01:22:12.000 Yes, is the answer.

01:22:13.000 There's no justice.

01:22:15.000 No justice.

01:22:17.000 The people who are in jail are not meant to be in jail.

01:22:21.000 Cops can't do their jobs. 1.00

01:22:24.000 It's a fucking mess. 1.00

01:22:26.000 Great time to murder someone if you're interested. 1.00

01:22:28.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

01:22:30.000 What is the best way to approach hit on women in the gym? 1.00

01:22:33.000 I've never done that.

01:22:34.000 I don't like...

01:22:35.000 Top hitting them on in the gym because they feel vulnerable.

01:22:37.000 I don't like women at boxing gyms. 1.00

01:22:40.000 I don't know why they're there. 0.97

01:22:42.000 They punch the bag so softly.

01:22:44.000 I'm just like, this is an irrelevant gesture. 0.76

01:22:48.000 Baby monster tattoo.

01:22:50.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan and Maddie.

01:22:53.000 I want to attach a picture of my baby monster tattoo so you can see the trend catch fire for yourselves.

01:22:59.000 I hope you don't mind that I took some liberties with the shading.

01:23:04.000 I think you did a fantastic job, sir.

01:23:06.000 I deeply regret not getting a shine on my bald eagle's head like you have.

01:23:13.000 I ruined the joke.

01:23:14.000 I got the shine.

01:23:15.000 Do you have a shine on yours?

01:23:17.000 Yeah.

01:23:18.000 I got the shine.

01:23:19.000 I thought it would look bald.

01:23:21.000 It doesn't look bald.

01:23:23.000 They don't look bald.

01:23:25.000 I have a little tiny one.

01:23:27.000 Because their hair is slicked back. 1.00

01:23:29.000 So people just think it's a fucking eagle. 1.00

01:23:31.000 And I have my baby monster tattoo. 1.00

01:23:35.000 The OG.

01:23:37.000 Yeah, the original.

01:23:38.000 All right, let's take some calls.

01:23:39.000 We haven't taken any Khazals. 0.97

01:23:43.000 And before we do, we'd like to thank you for calling, Frankly. 0.99

01:23:46.000 Oh, remember the callers get beard vet shit. 0.99

01:23:49.000 Yep, the first two. 1.00

01:23:51.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

01:23:53.000 You want me to learn, share? 1.00

01:23:55.000 Understand why.

01:23:56.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:23:58.000 You got one thing.

01:23:59.000 Thank you for calling.

01:24:00.000 It was great hearing from you.

01:24:02.000 All right, next call.

01:24:06.000 That's such a good jam.

01:24:08.000 I might want to get into that band.

01:24:10.000 Uh-oh, dude, I've turned this on a couple times.

01:24:12.000 I turned it on before. 1.00

01:24:13.000 The thing is, the fucking button stinks. 0.99

01:24:16.000 Like, you'll hold it and you'll be like, no, it's not. 1.00

01:24:19.000 It's on now.

01:24:20.000 Yeah.

01:24:20.000 Yeah, it's full battery on.

01:24:22.000 The button's going to turn itself off?

01:24:23.000 The button stinks.

01:24:24.000 No, no, no.

01:24:25.000 It just, when you hold it, sometimes it turns on, sometimes it doesn't.

01:24:28.000 You have to just keep pressing and holding the button. 0.65

01:24:30.000 It stinks.

01:24:34.000 Thanks for coding.

01:24:36.000 I called Glenn Beck's producer and I said, I have a story here.

01:24:40.000 Hear me out.

01:24:41.000 And I told her the story of my shirt with my glasses. 0.57

01:24:45.000 And I go, I am so fucking mad about this that it would be a very passionate segment.

01:24:51.000 And it might be cool for Glenn to have a segment that's not political. 0.68

01:24:56.000 And she's like, no.

01:24:59.000 No.

01:24:59.000 Not interested.

01:25:00.000 Not interested.

01:25:02.000 Okay.

01:25:04.000 This is why I make the big bucks because I think outside the box.

01:25:07.000 Especially because you spent 40 or 45 minutes on the bottom.

01:25:12.000 Five.

01:25:13.000 I could have spent, I want to do a documentary about it.

01:25:18.000 Three night series.

01:25:20.000 We don't have a lot of cameras in the house.

01:25:22.000 We have a lot of cameras outside the house.

01:25:24.000 But when I did have more cameras in the house, I would use them all the time for finding my glasses and finding keys.

01:25:32.000 And it's such a funny thing to do to see yourself be like. 1.00

01:25:37.000 And you're watching going, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:25:40.000 One time I watched myself leave my wallet in the taxi and the taxi driveway. 1.00

01:25:47.000 And I'm trying to see the license plate. 1.00

01:25:48.000 I'm like, you fucking idiot. 1.00

01:25:50.000 Your wallet is in that taxi, you fool. 1.00

01:25:56.000 Anyway, someone there? 1.00

01:25:57.000 Yep.

01:25:58.000 Hello.

01:26:00.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:26:01.000 Hello.

01:26:02.000 Hello, caller.

01:26:06.000 How's it going?

01:26:07.000 Good.

01:26:07.000 How are you?

01:26:09.000 I'm doing all right.

01:26:10.000 Hey, it's a pleasure to talk to you guys.

01:26:12.000 Right on.

01:26:14.000 Hey, I started a podcast, and I am looking for advice how to grow it, and what you guys would do if you're starting from ground zero.

01:26:25.000 Well, my honest advice would be to just keep churning it out.

01:26:29.000 I mean, you're a sperm swimming upstream right now.

01:26:33.000 There's a million people with podcasts.

01:26:35.000 And make it as true to your own culture as possible.

01:26:40.000 I don't know if there's anything unique about what you do.

01:26:42.000 Maybe you're like a helicopter mechanic, and you could get into that and get that niche.

01:26:47.000 But if it's just generally blabbing away, I would probably just give up.

01:26:52.000 It's not going to go anywhere.

01:26:54.000 Sure.

01:26:55.000 Well, it is more politically driven, I guess.

01:26:58.000 What's it called?

01:27:00.000 Let's think about this.

01:27:02.000 What?

01:27:03.000 What's it called?

01:27:04.000 Let's think about this.

01:27:05.000 Let's think about this.

01:27:06.000 Let's think about this.

01:27:08.000 Is it on YouTube?

01:27:10.000 And.

01:27:11.000 Well, I'll use anchor.fm, and they'll send it out to like Spotify and Apple Podcasts and stuff like that.

01:27:17.000 All right, boring.

01:27:18.000 Thanks for calling. 0.99

01:27:19.000 I don't fucking care. 0.99

01:27:20.000 Yep. 0.99

01:27:23.000 Yep.

01:27:23.000 I'm boring.

01:27:24.000 I think this is it.

01:27:26.000 Let's think about it.

01:27:28.000 Okay.

01:27:28.000 Let's think about it.

01:27:30.000 Nice free ad.

01:27:31.000 And I gave them a theme song.

01:27:33.000 And he wins, too.

01:27:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:27:35.000 Yeah, he gets a number saved.

01:27:39.000 All right.

01:27:40.000 Thanks for calling.

01:27:42.000 Gina is on the Lena. 0.90

01:27:45.000 What's going on, Gina?

01:27:46.000 Hello?

01:27:47.000 Hello?

01:27:48.000 Hello.

01:27:50.000 Hi.

01:27:51.000 I'm calling about the war on kids.

01:27:54.000 Okay. 1.00

01:27:55.000 Last week, I think you played a cartoon, and it showed like little kids how to masturbate, all kinds of weird shit. 0.99

01:28:05.000 Well, pretty much a lot of state similar cartoons are going around. 0.99

01:28:09.000 And I noticed that after they show these awkward kids trying to masturbate in cartoons, they directly go to something about trans kids. 0.90

01:28:20.000 So it's like, I get this feeling like they're leading this awkwardness about, you know, showing kids masturbating. 0.97

01:28:26.000 And, oh, well, if you feel weird, maybe you're trans. 0.99

01:28:31.000 Otherwise, what does trans have to do with masturbating? 1.00

01:28:35.000 Here's the million-dollar question, caller. 0.98

01:28:38.000 There's two things at play here. 1.00

01:28:40.000 One is, I want to fuck kids. 0.99

01:28:44.000 Please don't take that out of context. 1.00

01:28:46.000 So I'm going to groom them, and masturbation is something that's going to come across your plate. 0.99

01:28:51.000 So I'll start with that, and then I'll crowbar in trans, and then I'll crowbar in gays, and maybe I can eventually crowbar in minor attracted persons, right? 1.00

01:29:02.000 So there's a plan there to fuck kids. 1.00

01:29:04.000 All right, so that's a thing. 0.99

01:29:06.000 I don't know what the percentages are.

01:29:08.000 And then there's also, as we discussed earlier, there are people who are naive and easily manipulated. 0.74

01:29:16.000 I'm talking about teachers and educators who go, I hate the idea of gay kids being bullied, as we all do. 0.87

01:29:22.000 That sounds mean. 0.81

01:29:24.000 So I want to make content and decisions for the kids that say, hey, don't hurt gay kids. 0.97

01:29:31.000 Gay kids aren't evil. 0.65

01:29:32.000 They're just different. 0.98

01:29:34.000 So that's another percentage.

01:29:36.000 So the first percentage is purposely grooming children. 0.96

01:29:42.000 The second percentage is inept people, you know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. 1.00

01:29:49.000 So inept fucking idiot leftists accidentally sexualizing children. 1.00

01:29:56.000 What's the percentage here? 1.00

01:29:58.000 How much, what out of 100, what percent is knowingly, you know, polluting children's minds in order to fuck them? 1.00

01:30:09.000 And what percentage are just fucking idiots who've been brainwashed and are walking into a pile of shit? 1.00

01:30:14.000 Was this targeted for like pubescent teens? 1.00

01:30:18.000 Oh, no, no, eight-year-olds, nine-year-olds.

01:30:20.000 Primary school. 0.99

01:30:21.000 Like, what the fuck are they doing? 0.98

01:30:24.000 You don't, like, I remember the first videos about how to learn how to master. 0.99

01:30:28.000 I was like 11.

01:30:29.000 It wasn't sexual.

01:30:31.000 12, 13, it started getting sexual. 1.00

01:30:34.000 8, my dick was just a piss stick. 1.00

01:30:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:38.000 Like, at what point? 0.82

01:30:42.000 Like, I could tell I liked girls, you know, because they were nice, but I didn't want to, like, lick them. 0.95

01:30:49.000 You know what I mean?

01:30:50.000 But, like, I'm probably going to marry one of those one day.

01:30:52.000 Everything like movies and books, like, parental guidance is obscene language and your music.

01:30:58.000 And what happened to all these parental, like, Tipper Gore and all that?

01:31:01.000 Yeah, PMRC swearing.

01:31:06.000 You're going to show eight-year-olds videos. 1.00

01:31:09.000 You had a masturbate. 0.99

01:31:10.000 What do you think, Carler? 1.00

01:31:11.000 What's the percentage I'm leaning towards?

01:31:15.000 It's definitely intentional.

01:31:17.000 I would say 70% intentional.

01:31:20.000 Wow.

01:31:21.000 I don't have the answer, but that's a big number, my dear. 0.97

01:31:28.000 The dirty jurors. 1.00

01:31:29.000 I'm going to go much lower, and I could be wrong, and I might change my mind tomorrow, but I'm going to go for 10% evil globalist child rapists, 90% fucking idiots, easily manipulated, you know, 1.00

01:31:46.000 tools, tools for these guys. 1.00

01:31:48.000 What are they called?

01:31:49.000 I'm really high towards purposefully, but not purposefully.

01:31:52.000 I'm sorry.

01:31:53.000 Thank you.

01:31:55.000 Thank you for not getting a lot of people.

01:31:56.000 There's a lot of money involved in the grooming and a lot of, you know, like you say all the time that without all this victimhood, the money goes away.

01:32:07.000 So I think they know what they're doing. 1.00

01:32:11.000 Yeah, but are they knowingly grooming kids so they can fuck them? 1.00

01:32:16.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:32:16.000 That part, I don't know, because it's like greed versus perversion. 1.00

01:32:22.000 I don't know. 0.90

01:32:23.000 Oh, that's disgusting.

01:32:25.000 Yeah, I think.

01:32:26.000 That might be lower, like you said. 0.93

01:32:28.000 Yeah, they're just, the thing that's disturbing is, you know, they tried making blacks pets. 0.99

01:32:34.000 They tried making feminism the thing. 1.00

01:32:39.000 They use trans now.

01:32:41.000 That's the newest pet. 0.88

01:32:42.000 But the disturbing thing is, you go, wait a minute, kids are getting sexualized. 1.00

01:32:46.000 And they're like, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:32:48.000 I got to get more votes. 1.00

01:32:49.000 I got to get more power.

01:32:52.000 Those kids can go. 1.00

01:32:53.000 Like that video we showed yesterday says, fuck they kids. 1.00

01:32:58.000 I know. 1.00

01:32:59.000 That was disgusting.

01:32:59.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:33:01.000 That Instagram post or thing about how it's okay to kill the newborn baby? 0.99

01:33:06.000 Right. 0.80

01:33:07.000 28 days after it's been born? 1.00

01:33:09.000 I just think that a very small population wants to have sex with kids. 0.99

01:33:15.000 And maybe I'm just being naive. 0.95

01:33:18.000 But what I think is really happening here is the left is so power hungry. 1.00

01:33:22.000 They're such amoral Bolsheviks that they are attracting kid fuckers and they don't care. 1.00

01:33:30.000 Like that long Twitter thread we read the other day where they go, the left doesn't literally want to fuck your kids. 1.00

01:33:36.000 They want to breed young revolutionaries. 0.99

01:33:39.000 The fact that there's this side thing happening where we're accidentally grooming young kids, they could give a fuck about. 0.99

01:33:45.000 They could walk kids off a cliff as long as they gain more power. 0.99

01:33:49.000 I'm more inclined to believe that thing.

01:33:53.000 But none of this is good, folks.

01:33:55.000 None of this is good.

01:33:56.000 No.

01:33:57.000 I've been to some awesome Pig Rose parties at the Scorpions Clubhouse in Oakland County and have some stories from those times.

01:34:03.000 So I'd like to ask Maddie, what are the craziest, coolest parties he's been to?

01:34:08.000 And does he have a story he'd like to share?

01:34:10.000 Well, that's a big ask.

01:34:12.000 Craziest parties.

01:34:13.000 I've been to some crazy parties.

01:34:14.000 I mean, like a big giant party.

01:34:17.000 I was kind of had like other people outside of the circles that I was traveling in.

01:34:25.000 Those were pretty tame.

01:34:26.000 So the Hell's Angels, do they have gangs that they are friends with?

01:34:30.000 Clubs, sorry?

01:34:31.000 Yeah, support clubs and stuff like that.

01:34:34.000 So who's a motorcycle club that has no beef with Hell's Angels and they're all buddies?

01:34:41.000 The Kinglings?

01:34:43.000 No, I mean, yeah, I mean, they've coexisted peacefully.

01:34:47.000 You know, there's been some personal issues between certain members, but no, they've they've existed kind of relatively good, but you know, um I'm trying to think like they're all small, like they're not like nationally known.

01:35:00.000 If I said like, you know, Satan's soldiers have existed peacefully with the Hell's Angels.

01:35:06.000 That's a local New York and New Jersey.

01:35:09.000 Then like say the Immortals or you know, there was a club.

01:35:19.000 The club I was in before that, Savage Creed, stuff like that.

01:35:22.000 Did the parties have beer?

01:35:24.000 Yeah, beer.

01:35:25.000 Alcoholic beer.

01:35:27.000 And cigarettes.

01:35:28.000 Well, I don't smoke cigarettes, so.

01:35:30.000 But they had them there for if you wanted to smoke.

01:35:32.000 Well, you'd have to bring your own.

01:35:35.000 Nobody's going to be like standing there selling cigarettes.

01:35:38.000 Sometimes in the bar they have a machine.

01:35:40.000 You put a couple dollars in there.

01:35:42.000 They haven't had cigarette machines in bars in quite a long time.

01:35:45.000 Yeah, and you can get a condo and a temp on inside the machines.

01:35:49.000 Jesse's a little older, so he's from the 50s.

01:35:53.000 I mean, I remember having the cigarette machines where it had a million pull handles on it.

01:35:57.000 Oh, I love those things.

01:35:58.000 I actually hurt myself.

01:36:01.000 It's a very appealing design.

01:36:02.000 Yeah.

01:36:03.000 It's like a game, like slot machines, but you definitely.

01:36:06.000 I had all the different brands.

01:36:07.000 It had two rows of these plastic handles that gambled.

01:36:11.000 The game you're playing is gambling your own health.

01:36:14.000 Wow.

01:36:14.000 It's lung cancer Russian roulette.

01:36:17.000 It's like non-lucky stripes.

01:36:21.000 Lucky strike out.

01:36:22.000 Strike three, you're out.

01:36:23.000 Camo.

01:36:26.000 I mean, I've had some awesome ZO, do a little partying, have a little beer.

01:36:32.000 He's not going to sit here and tell a 40-minute story about an insane biker rally that he was at.

01:36:39.000 Did you ever have a biker party where a metal robot with a German accent walked in and he said, let me get your boots and your motorcycle and clothes?

01:36:48.000 And then you had a big brawl with him and you stick a pool key through his chest, but you realize he's a robot.

01:36:53.000 No, no.

01:36:54.000 Like on a small channel?

01:36:56.000 Okay.

01:36:57.000 No artificial intelligence.

01:36:59.000 I'm the Terminator.

01:37:02.000 Here's one.

01:37:03.000 Wedding slash Chris Plant from Monday's show.

01:37:06.000 Gavin Mayer of FagZone.

01:37:07.000 Glad you discovered Chris Plant.

01:37:09.000 He does a great show weekdays on our DC Metro radio station.

01:37:12.000 Got to meet him on a job a couple years ago.

01:37:14.000 He enjoys beer almost as much as you enjoy whiskey.

01:37:16.000 P.S. Got married this weekend.

01:37:18.000 We couldn't be happier.

01:37:19.000 I've attached a picture. 0.99

01:37:21.000 Thanks for the extra motivation to, quote unquote, put a ring on it and stop fucking around. 0.97

01:37:27.000 Feel free to give my bride a 1 to 10 rating. 0.99

01:37:30.000 Congratulations.

01:37:31.000 Kind of weird, doesn't it?

01:37:32.000 Yeah, congratulations.

01:37:33.000 Congratulations, buddy.

01:37:35.000 You look short.

01:37:38.000 Merger. 0.76

01:37:40.000 Well, I guess we have to rate her now.

01:37:42.000 She seems fantastic.

01:37:44.000 It's funny with ratings, too.

01:37:45.000 There's like someone you want to bang in an alley, and there's someone you want to marry.

01:37:49.000 And this is a great wife.

01:37:51.000 Like, you want her around for 40 years.

01:37:54.000 57. 0.99

01:37:55.000 You want those tits to be hanging down to her waist when she's 86. 1.00

01:38:00.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:38:01.000 Yeah.

01:38:02.000 I used to remember all the time.

01:38:04.000 We used to have a show called Raiders of the Lost Ark.

01:38:09.000 I mean, this is her wedding day, so she looks pretty darn good.

01:38:12.000 I'm going to say 7.4.4.

01:38:16.000 4.

01:38:18.000 And I'm going to give him a 6.

01:38:22.000 It's got to be a good one.

01:38:23.000 $700,000 and a trillion three hundred billion dollars. 0.99

01:38:27.000 Damn. 0.99

01:38:29.000 Alright, we got more calls. 1.00

01:38:31.000 On the line.

01:38:35.000 Go ahead.

01:38:36.000 Okay.

01:38:37.000 You're on the line, 609.

01:38:43.000 Go ahead, Decall.

01:38:44.000 Hello.

01:38:46.000 Hello.

01:38:47.000 What's going on, Cole?

01:38:48.000 Hello.

01:38:51.000 Hello, this is Jesse.

01:38:53.000 Oh, it's another Jesse.

01:38:55.000 Oh.

01:38:56.000 What happened?

01:38:57.000 Yeah, we had met at the convention a few weeks ago, and I decided to take the...

01:39:13.000 Yeah, Brian had told me that he does an impersonation of me, and it's very good.

01:39:22.000 I'm seeing on the show that he is using my face, and that's fine with me.

01:39:31.000 He is very good at doing the makeup, and he does it very quickly.

01:39:36.000 It's amazing.

01:39:39.000 I like how he does that.

01:39:41.000 And I saw him on the, he was doing cameo apps.

01:39:45.000 He's making a lot of money doing me.

01:39:48.000 Maybe I have him come on my show.

01:39:51.000 I take a day off and no one will know that it's not really me and his Brian.

01:39:58.000 That would be amazing.

01:39:59.000 His name's Ryan.

01:39:59.000 Isn't it Ryan?

01:40:02.000 Yeah, I would ask you something.

01:40:06.000 Because I'm watching a show, and I just want to know when Jesus come back, because the world is crazy right now, and Jesus coming back, it's in the prophecy. 0.62

01:40:21.000 And when he come back, do you really want to be on the TV sucking on a turd? 0.96

01:40:29.000 That's terrible, Gather. 0.99

01:40:32.000 Yeah.

01:40:34.000 I think we may have a cultural thing here.

01:40:36.000 You're a black southern Christian.

01:40:39.000 My background's Scottish.

01:40:41.000 We're more like jackassy.

01:40:43.000 So I know we agree on everything as far as like culture goes, or maybe not even culture, but religion and the West and God and family and all that and being an ethical person.

01:40:55.000 But as far as what's over the line, I think you and I differ quite a bit on that. 0.99

01:41:01.000 Like the sucking the shit thing registers in my head 0% of the day. 0.99

01:41:09.000 I seen it. 1.00

01:41:12.000 Oh my goodness.

01:41:13.000 What happened?

01:41:15.000 I seen it and it was very disturbing, to be honest with you.

01:41:19.000 And yes, I am a black man.

01:41:21.000 I know Brian's an Oriental. 1.00

01:41:24.000 And I just want y'all to know that I don't have an issue with him using my face on the cameo on the show.

01:41:31.000 And he does a fantastic job with the makeup.

01:41:34.000 He does it very fast.

01:41:35.000 And it's very amazing.

01:41:36.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:41:37.000 We got it.

01:41:38.000 As soon as you repeat a joke, you're out.

01:41:40.000 Amazing.

01:41:41.000 He's actually pretty good.

01:41:42.000 Like, as a normal KLP?

01:41:45.000 That was, I don't know. 1.00

01:41:48.000 I got high standards with this little fucking Chinaman here. 1.00

01:41:50.000 If I get replaced, I'm going to be pushed. 1.00

01:41:53.000 It's not going to be amazing.

01:41:55.000 It's not going to be amazing.

01:41:56.000 It's going to stink.

01:41:58.000 You know what I would love to see? 0.94

01:41:59.000 And I can't wait till I die because I heard that when you die, you get a thing called God Hoogle.

01:42:03.000 Wow.

01:42:04.000 And you can look up anything you want.

01:42:06.000 Really?

01:42:07.000 And it comes up.

01:42:08.000 Let's see Jesse Lee Peterson's finances from birth till now.

01:42:14.000 Okay.

01:42:15.000 Income, what it comes from, what he makes.

01:42:18.000 You could tell me that Jesse Lee Peterson makes grosses, like his new network and everything.

01:42:26.000 You could tell me it grosses $100,000 a year.

01:42:30.000 And you could tell me it grosses $11 million a year.

01:42:35.000 And anything in between. 0.98

01:42:37.000 I have no fucking clue what that man makes. 0.99

01:42:44.000 I know he's popular. 1.00

01:42:45.000 He's got his followers.

01:42:47.000 Is he more popular than me?

01:42:49.000 I don't even know.

01:42:51.000 He could be a tenth as popular as this show or 10 times more popular. 0.99

01:42:55.000 I have no fucking clue. 0.99

01:42:57.000 It's more popular. 1.00

01:43:03.000 Jesse Lee.

01:43:06.000 I spent some time today with Jesse Lee.

01:43:08.000 That's right.

01:43:10.000 Yeah, we filmed a brand new celebrity menback show.

01:43:13.000 You know, Ryan and I were setting up my new arcade game in my house.

01:43:17.000 Oh, God, yeah.

01:43:19.000 It's big as the studio.

01:43:20.000 It's monolithic.

01:43:22.000 It's the size of a sub-04.

01:43:24.000 I love the bottle opener, right?

01:43:25.000 Yeah, it's got a bottle opener.

01:43:27.000 It's so big that the pixelization is terrible because it's not designed for a screen that big.

01:43:33.000 Some of the games.

01:43:36.000 And so we were speaking Chinese the whole time.

01:43:38.000 Like, okay, you've got to key.

01:43:42.000 You've got to open that up.

01:43:43.000 Come on, man.

01:43:44.000 Why are you doing that? 1.00

01:43:45.000 You're so stupid. 1.00

01:43:46.000 Come on. 1.00

01:43:47.000 You took a big machine, press button, everything, turn on.

01:43:51.000 So we're having some trouble loading up the software.

01:43:54.000 So we call Tech Support, and it's a small company.

01:43:57.000 They're called CreativeArcade.com.

01:44:00.000 Game Tech Arcade Stoppers.

01:44:04.000 They're really cool.

01:44:05.000 And it's some Asian dude, I think, who runs a company.

01:44:09.000 So he's an Asian dude, and he's like, hey, man, just FaceTime me and we'll go through it. 1.00

01:44:13.000 Okay, I can see what wires are done.

01:44:15.000 Open up the panel.

01:44:16.000 Your yellow wire became unplugged during shipping.

01:44:20.000 So just, and it's taking 900% of my willpower to stop the Asian guy we've been doing for the past hour. 1.00

01:44:29.000 Look at your hand.

01:44:29.000 You even karate chopped this.

01:44:31.000 I even karate chopped it.

01:44:32.000 And I'm like.

01:44:34.000 Yes.

01:44:35.000 I'll grab the yellow wire and I'll plug it in.

01:44:41.000 Okay.

01:44:43.000 You're going to sound like the generic white guy.

01:44:45.000 But I can do it. 1.00

01:44:46.000 I'm fucking. 1.00

01:44:47.000 You're Asian. 1.00

01:44:48.000 Put the FaceTime on me.

01:44:49.000 And then like, the second we hung up, it was like, okay.

01:44:53.000 Oh, my God.

01:44:56.000 Hey, smash the subscribe, you got it.

01:45:00.000 Then I was worried I didn't hang up properly.

01:45:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:03.000 The Asian face Ryan's been using lately is hilarious. 1.00

01:45:06.000 What the?

01:45:07.000 That's my favorite guy.

01:45:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:10.000 No. 1.00

01:45:12.000 Idiot. 1.00

01:45:14.000 No. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:45:15.000 He's kind of like that.

01:45:17.000 Oh, God. 1.00

01:45:19.000 Ryan's so dumb that I don't get his jokes half the time. 0.99

01:45:23.000 Like, we're at the laundromat, and there's these little flyers, like, at, you know, belly level that say, like, you don't come here no time. 0.99

01:45:31.000 If you want to be here, you leave your ticket, and then you go here.

01:45:35.000 And then there's another one that says, like, please leave a deposit.

01:45:38.000 No, you don't.

01:45:38.000 Oh, you wear a mask.

01:45:40.000 And there's scribbles all over them.

01:45:42.000 And Ryan goes, what kind of guy scribbles all over a flyer or a little sign like that?

01:45:50.000 What kind of very short, disrespectful.

01:45:52.000 And I'm like, it's called a child, Ryan.

01:45:55.000 They're called kids.

01:45:56.000 They got a pen because their mother's doing laundry.

01:45:58.000 Yeah.

01:45:59.000 And they're just like...

01:46:01.000 And Ryan's like, you'd be surprised, man.

01:46:03.000 I've seen some dudes.

01:46:04.000 I'm like, you mean graffiti?

01:46:05.000 What are you talking about?

01:46:07.000 Well, Ryan's new to the child, Arena.

01:46:10.000 A grown man just going, Daphne's not able to.

01:46:13.000 We're in the hood, too.

01:46:13.000 We're in the Bronx.

01:46:14.000 I think, yeah.

01:46:16.000 So there's no parental anything.

01:46:17.000 Yeah.

01:46:18.000 Some angry person is talking to them, and while they're talking to them, you're still sticking with that story.

01:46:25.000 Wait until Daphne's like five or six and you're trying to get something done.

01:46:29.000 This guy is the titanic of arguments.

01:46:33.000 I don't know.

01:46:33.000 I still think it could have been a guy.

01:46:35.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:46:36.000 He could have broken in.

01:46:55.000 There you go.

01:46:56.000 Another caller?

01:46:57.000 Oops.

01:47:00.000 Je don't cevic Johnny Depp?

01:47:04.000 Je don't cevc Johnny Depp.

01:47:05.000 De foi.

01:47:06.000 5-4-wee.

01:47:07.000 Gavin.

01:47:08.000 Yes. 1.00

01:47:09.000 I am the Johnny Depp bed shitter, and I will shit again. 1.00

01:47:12.000 Not you again. 1.00

01:47:13.000 Fudge.

01:47:14.000 Dude, you've ruined their marriage.

01:47:19.000 Let's play a game, Gavin. 0.90

01:47:21.000 Oh, no, he's bullshitting me.

01:47:23.000 I'll play a game.

01:47:23.000 You get this.

01:47:24.000 I'm going to get you more chances to figure out what song this is. 0.99

01:47:29.000 If you can't answer it, I'm going to shit all over Crip Daddy. 1.00

01:47:33.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:47:34.000 As long as you don't shoot on my fucking bed, you fucking piece of shit. 1.00

01:47:37.000 All right, let's start this off. 1.00

01:47:38.000 Fuck you, dude. 1.00

01:47:40.000 And I'm running into first, and my pants begin to burst. 1.00

01:47:45.000 Oh, that's like a kid song.

01:47:47.000 Like, I'm running into first, and my pants begin to burst.

01:47:49.000 It's diarrhea. 0.72

01:47:50.000 Baby shark.

01:47:51.000 That sounds called diarrhea. 1.00

01:47:55.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:47:57.000 All right, sounds too easy. 1.00

01:47:59.000 I will shit again, though. 0.99

01:48:01.000 All right, thanks for calling. 0.99

01:48:02.000 That was great.

01:48:03.000 Johnny Depp.

01:48:04.000 I keep getting people write in letters going, why aren't you covering the Johnny Depp divorce trial?

01:48:11.000 It's a civil trial.

01:48:12.000 A civil trial?

01:48:13.000 And I'm like, we did cover. 0.96

01:48:14.000 How much should I should I cover it as much as fucking dailymail.co.uk? 0.94

01:48:19.000 No. 0.97

01:48:20.000 No, we got it.

01:48:22.000 Just cover it a little bit. 1.00

01:48:23.000 She's a crazy bitch that fucked up his life. 1.00

01:48:26.000 And he left his wife because she got old and she didn't look like a young girl anymore. 1.00

01:48:31.000 He fucked a young piece of tang and he realized, oh my God, what the fuck have I done? 1.00

01:48:36.000 Exactly like husbands and wives, by the way. 1.00

01:48:40.000 No prenup.

01:48:41.000 I forgot that guy's name again.

01:48:43.000 Sidney Poiche. 1.00

01:48:45.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:48:46.000 Lloyd Weber. 1.00

01:48:48.000 Lloyd Weber.

01:48:49.000 And so, do we really need to follow?

01:48:51.000 Sammy Gelman?

01:48:53.000 No, that's an author. 0.99

01:48:57.000 Oh, fuck, what was his name? 0.99

01:49:00.000 Sidney Gelmore. 1.00

01:49:02.000 I don't think it's fucking Sylvie Gilmore. 0.99

01:49:04.000 Sammy Gelman. 0.99

01:49:06.000 Sidney Poitier.

01:49:08.000 Sammy Sosa. 1.00

01:49:09.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:49:10.000 There's certain names you just can't fit in your head. 1.00

01:49:13.000 Slappy Swanson Sally.

01:49:14.000 Oh, it was Samsonite.

01:49:16.000 It was on there the whole time.

01:49:17.000 It was the Fecal Delight. 0.57

01:49:18.000 Slappy Samsonite?

01:49:20.000 Yep.

01:49:21.000 Sidney.

01:49:22.000 I was way off.

01:49:24.000 Fecal Delivery.

01:49:25.000 Sidney Pollack.

01:49:27.000 Sidney Pollock.

01:49:28.000 Who's dead now?

01:49:29.000 God bless his cotton socks.

01:49:31.000 One of the best actors in the history of cinema.

01:49:35.000 What's happening? 1.00

01:49:36.000 No, just fuck that guy. 1.00

01:49:38.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

01:49:39.000 Why? 1.00

01:49:39.000 Because he shit all over the bed and ruined my marriage. 1.00

01:49:43.000 Oh, the shit guy. 1.00

01:49:44.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:49:45.000 Sorry.

01:49:46.000 All right, let's take another call.

01:49:48.000 Take another letter.

01:49:48.000 Are you putting up the live stream still, Johnny Depp?

01:49:51.000 Yes.

01:49:53.000 Because we've only got 10 minutes left.

01:49:55.000 Okay, here we go.

01:49:59.000 You're on the line.

01:50:00.000 6-10.

01:50:02.000 Go ahead, 6-1.

01:50:05.000 What's up, Daddy?

01:50:08.000 Old Well, hey, Maddie.

01:50:10.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:50:12.000 Old Well.

01:50:13.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:50:13.000 Hey, Maddie, by the way, stay healthy, man.

01:50:15.000 Ryan, you should start smoking cigarettes immediately. 0.97

01:50:18.000 I used to think you should kill yourself, but now that you have a kid, you should just start doing something unhealthy. 0.99

01:50:24.000 Thank you. 0.98

01:50:26.000 Anyway, I was calling to talk about talking to like old men. 0.99

01:50:32.000 So, at my local, there's a lot of old guys. 0.94

01:50:34.000 I'm 37.

01:50:35.000 I have four kids.

01:50:36.000 I'm one of the youngest people who hangs out there.

01:50:39.000 And it's talking to old people, man, they've got great stories.

01:50:44.000 Sometimes they drone on too long.

01:50:46.000 I guess this is what's impressive about old men.

01:50:50.000 They can sit there and they'll be prattling on for literally seven to ten minutes.

01:50:54.000 Yep.

01:50:55.000 And like, if you have to pee or like you're trying to leave or go somewhere else, you can just cut them off and go, hey, hey, all right, thanks, man.

01:51:03.000 Save it.

01:51:03.000 I got to go.

01:51:05.000 And no hard feelings.

01:51:06.000 They're like, okay, cool, man.

01:51:07.000 Talk to you later.

01:51:09.000 Nobody there against me.

01:51:12.000 I've tried doing that to ladies. 1.00

01:51:16.000 I have an aunt.

01:51:17.000 She loves to talk.

01:51:18.000 And she gets so offended if I'm not hanging on every word.

01:51:22.000 And I'll go, okay, hey, listen, Aunt Deb or whatever.

01:51:26.000 Aunt Deb, can we talk about this later?

01:51:29.000 And she's like, oh, well, I guess you don't have time for me.

01:51:32.000 And it's just one of those things.

01:51:34.000 Yeah, it just reminded me of you. 1.00

01:51:36.000 Men are so amazing because they can just, you can tell them to eat shit and I'll like, hey, man, eat shit. 1.00

01:51:42.000 I'm too busy for you right now. 1.00

01:51:43.000 And they're like, okay, whatever. 1.00

01:51:44.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:51:45.000 Bye. 1.00

01:51:48.000 Yeah, they do get sick of it.

01:51:51.000 I love those old dudes.

01:51:53.000 They get in a story loop sometimes.

01:51:56.000 They'll say the same story four times in a row, like Jackson and Unreliable.

01:52:03.000 And sometimes they get into a negative thing, I find.

01:52:06.000 And I think it's natural to be negative when you're on the back nine, as they like to say.

01:52:10.000 You're on a downslope.

01:52:12.000 When you're over 60, they're like, you know what?

01:52:14.000 I'm glad I'm not going to be around for too long because you guys are in a real pickle here.

01:52:20.000 You're in big trouble, boy.

01:52:21.000 The way this country's going.

01:52:23.000 And you're like, okay, I know why you're saying that because you can't say, I'm sad I'm leaving. 0.67

01:52:28.000 You've got to say the party sucks if you're on your way out. 0.79

01:52:32.000 But it can be a little fucking depressing to constantly hear about how we're all going to die and things were better back then. 0.95

01:52:39.000 But they do have awesome stories. 0.95

01:52:41.000 And they've all like worked for the mob.

01:52:44.000 They all drove a taxi for, you know, some major murderer.

01:52:50.000 It's fascinating to talk to them.

01:52:51.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:52:52.000 Dear Gavin, I was wondering if you would be able to send prayers for my son and wife.

01:52:57.000 He was born April 26th.

01:52:58.000 He's only 25 weeks, premature.

01:53:00.000 My wonderful wife had to be life flighted from Elkhart, Nevada to Salt Lake, Utah. 1.00

01:53:06.000 I'm worried sick for him.

01:53:07.000 His name is Tyr.

01:53:10.000 It would be an honor if you would pray for him.

01:53:12.000 Okay, let's all have a moment of silence for Tyr.

01:53:15.000 I hope I'm pronouncing that name right.

01:53:27.000 I hope it works out for you, buddy. 0.98

01:53:29.000 That must be fucking stressful. 0.98

01:53:32.000 I don't know if I'm man enough to handle that. 0.98

01:53:36.000 We definitely need some booze to get through that. 0.98

01:53:39.000 A lot of time in an incubator.

01:53:42.000 God bless, man.

01:53:44.000 9-10 is online.

01:53:46.000 9-10, what's up?

01:53:49.000 Yo, Gav.

01:53:49.000 Yo, bro.

01:53:51.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:53:52.000 You.

01:53:53.000 So, hey, I'm getting ready to retire from active duty military after 20 years. 1.00

01:54:00.000 You're going to become retarded? 1.00

01:54:02.000 No, he's retiring from the military after 20 years. 0.99

01:54:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:06.000 That's more normal.

01:54:08.000 Yeah.

01:54:08.000 Yo, hey, Maddie, I'm also part of an MC plus by 1% that doesn't support.

01:54:15.000 There you go. 1.00

01:54:16.000 That's a fucked up boy. 1.00

01:54:18.000 What does that mean doesn't support? 1.00

01:54:20.000 They would say independent.

01:54:21.000 They don't really.

01:54:22.000 We don't wear patches.

01:54:23.000 Yeah.

01:54:24.000 Okay. 1.00

01:54:25.000 But, yo, Gavin, you would be surprised how liberal and stupid the military has become. 1.00

01:54:35.000 Really? 1.00

01:54:35.000 That's why I'm actually retiring early because I'm sick of this shit. 1.00

01:54:42.000 Like, they have affirmative action and equal opportunity, which means a ethnic woman will get promoted over a white male based off of her ethnicity and her gender, but not off her merit. 0.99

01:55:01.000 It's fucking everywhere now, isn't it?

01:55:03.000 I saw something at my kids' school for internships, and one of the things was like some country club, some golf thing, and it said who it's eligible to, like who can apply, and it said people of color. 0.98

01:55:18.000 Those are the only people that can apply to this program. 0.95

01:55:21.000 It's so wild because they push this equality shit, but then they say, you know what, we have to promote so many, you know, ethnicities, we have to promote so many women, and then, you know, 0.99

01:55:38.000 white males who actually qualify, who are better than them, have to take a third step. 0.99

01:55:47.000 They will get promoted after them by the virtue of being a white male. 0.62

01:55:53.000 And again, if they were promoting albinos or any other group, it would be just as bad.

01:55:58.000 It's not about, no one's saying blacks don't deserve jobs.

01:56:02.000 What we're saying is racism doesn't exist, so you're correcting an affliction that isn't there.

01:56:09.000 And what you're doing is you're hurting meritocracy and thwarting people who would be great at the job.

01:56:16.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:56:16.000 What a fucking mess. 1.00

01:56:18.000 It's about promoting affirmative action and racism because we have to push these people up because they've been so hurt by bullshit that happened 70 years ago. 1.00

01:56:36.000 And it's also like, and it pertains to everything, like when they go the first Native American astronaut. 0.80

01:56:40.000 The implication is that there was tons of qualified Native American astronauts and they're being held back by, I don't know, cowboys? 0.99

01:56:49.000 Exactly.

01:56:50.000 Like who was saying?

01:56:51.000 Why are we not promoting the first African American to own a major social media platform?

01:56:59.000 Why are we not celebrating that?

01:57:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:57:01.000 He finally did it.

01:57:02.000 All right.

01:57:03.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:57:04.000 Here's an interesting email we got. 0.98

01:57:07.000 Bullshit lawsuit. 0.99

01:57:08.000 It's called, hey, Gavin, low-tee. 0.99

01:57:10.000 I work in a trade, and it seems to be that it's made up of 50% older guys who have their nose to the grindstone and 50% slacker douchebag millennials who will not move out of their parents' house and have a number of get-rich quick schemes. 0.98

01:57:25.000 One particular boy I used to work with just settled a lawsuit which awards him $180,000 after the lawyers got their cut.

01:57:34.000 He's an addict of anything that will get him high. 0.99

01:57:37.000 One night, he's riding in a car with a few fucking grease balls, the kinds who eat scabs off their faces, to a party. 1.00

01:57:45.000 They were doing Coke on the way. 1.00

01:57:47.000 That's in quotes.

01:57:49.000 Come to find out there was fentanyl in it.

01:57:51.000 He ODs in the front passenger seat.

01:57:54.000 By OD, this guy doesn't mean die.

01:57:57.000 They arrive at the party and the guys in the back want out of the back seat.

01:58:01.000 It's a two-door.

01:58:02.000 They push his seat forward and whammo, his limp body falls forward and gets the old eyeball in the gear shift treatment.

01:58:09.000 Whoa. 0.77

01:58:11.000 They leave him and go to the party for an undetermined amount of time, realize he's fucked up much later and drive him a block away from his mother's house and then they dump him on the boulevard as good friends are known to do. 0.83

01:58:24.000 He comes to and crawls home for his mother to find him lying on the doorstep.

01:58:30.000 He survived but came away with a dead eye and drop foot.

01:58:34.000 What's drop foot? 0.95

01:58:35.000 It's when your foot, like the tendons and the muscles in your foot, like you can't arch your foot this way.

01:58:42.000 Like if you picked your foot up off the ground, it would flop to the ground.

01:58:45.000 Can you still feel and everything in it?

01:58:47.000 Yeah, but you just don't have any control of it.

01:58:49.000 I mean, it's pretty common.

01:58:51.000 I know a few people that have had it and they've regained control of it.

01:58:55.000 Not 100% sure.

01:58:56.000 I think a lot of nerve damages and stuff like that, it kind of played out.

01:59:00.000 So we had no junkies would get that all the time.

01:59:02.000 They fall asleep on a part of their arm.

01:59:04.000 It doesn't get blood for so long that it starts dying.

01:59:09.000 And then they lose function in it.

01:59:11.000 He sued his mother's car insurance.

01:59:16.000 What?

01:59:17.000 And settles a couple years later for $180,000 for doing drugs. 0.99

01:59:21.000 What the fuck kind of lesson is that for a fuck-up? 1.00

01:59:24.000 If you throw enough shit at a wall, something will stick and you'll be handed a bunch of money. 1.00

01:59:29.000 Not to be a fag or anything, but I am worried about the guy. 1.00

01:59:32.000 I've known him since he was a kid, and apart from being a lazy dog fucker with zero work ethic, this must be a Canadian. 1.00

01:59:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:40.000 He's a good kid, and giving an addict $180K is a death sentence. 1.00

01:59:45.000 I'm sure inside of a year, he'll be found dead under an overpass with a needle sticking out of his arm and a dick hanging out of his pants for some reason. 1.00

01:59:52.000 Just thought it was a good example of the fucked up court system here in Canada. 0.99

01:59:56.000 I'm not sorry for it being a long story. 1.00

01:59:58.000 Fuck off. 0.99

01:59:59.000 We aren't apologetic up here. 1.00

02:00:01.000 Well, you are.

02:00:02.000 You invented the word sorry.

02:00:05.000 Have a good one, guys.

02:00:06.000 Love you more than a friend.

02:00:07.000 What a doozy.

02:00:08.000 Hey, only your friend can help for himself.

02:00:12.000 Yeah.

02:00:13.000 Like these kids, like my brother just had a friend who died, and he was rich.

02:00:18.000 He made a lot of money in tech, and he lived alone in an apartment, and he got into opioids.

02:00:24.000 And he, you know, we're social creatures.

02:00:28.000 And in Canada, it's basically Shanghai, or it was a while ago.

02:00:32.000 And he couldn't socialize, and he lost his sense of self, and he got deeper and deeper into opioids.

02:00:38.000 And he's dead.

02:00:42.000 In a way, they die of boredom.

02:00:45.000 Anyway, testosterone shortage show Amazon meeting.

02:00:50.000 The reason Amazon management showed the customer tape was because they knew the statements the customer made were factually wrong.

02:00:56.000 As long as they let the anonymous customer make the statement.

02:00:59.000 Yeah, but why were the employees bawling their eyes out and freaking out?

02:01:03.000 All right, let's do one more call and then we got to go.

02:01:06.000 I hope it's an up call.

02:01:07.000 I feel like we're getting a little too down.

02:01:08.000 469, you're on the line.

02:01:12.000 Hey, dude, what's up?

02:01:13.000 Yo, dude.

02:01:15.000 Yeah, I got a story.

02:01:18.000 A buddy of mine told me about his time in jail, and I've never been in jail, so I figured I could run it by Maddie and see if it sounds reasonable to him.

02:01:26.000 Okay, let's hear.

02:01:29.000 So, you know, he spent 30 days in jail, not too long, but according to him, he was the only guy in there that was in there for drugs and not something more serious.

02:01:41.000 So he's setting the very scary tone, I guess.

02:01:44.000 And he just kind of minded his own business, kept to himself, went back to his room as much as he could.

02:01:53.000 But then the guards come in, they say, hey, dude, you're getting out today.

02:01:57.000 And so he goes back to his room.

02:02:00.000 He's minding his own business.

02:02:02.000 And then, like, as he tells it, the scariest dudes in there all come into his cell. 0.99

02:02:08.000 And he's like, oh, shit, what's going to happen? 0.99

02:02:11.000 And so they all come up and they surround him and they go, hey, we heard you're getting out today. 0.99

02:02:17.000 And we're going to give you a story that no one will ever believe.

02:02:20.000 And so he's scared shitless.

02:02:22.000 And they hold him down and they just tickle him for like five minutes.

02:02:27.000 And then they say, no one's ever going to believe you. 0.85

02:02:31.000 Keep your mouth shut.

02:02:32.000 And they just walk out.

02:02:33.000 Does that sound like something that would make sense?

02:02:36.000 I don't know where he was, but to be the only person in the cell block that's there for drugs, that unusual.

02:02:43.000 That's a very good idea.

02:02:43.000 That's weird in and of itself.

02:02:44.000 That's a biggie.

02:02:46.000 There was this.

02:02:47.000 But I mean, like, if you're there for a while and you make friends, but you're saying if the guy was kind of a loner, I don't know if anyone would approach him. 0.64

02:02:56.000 They would give two fucks less about who's leaving.

02:02:58.000 They're not leaving. 0.80

02:02:59.000 Why is there a giant funny squad?

02:03:01.000 Well, like, if you're, say, if you're doing like eight months or a year, like, you got to do a little bit of time in a county jail.

02:03:07.000 Because jail and prison are different. 0.99

02:03:09.000 Like, the night before, like, dudes may steal all your linens and your pillow and case, your fucking bedding. 0.98

02:03:16.000 And you got to sleep on, like, just a plain mattress. 0.99

02:03:18.000 Because you're leaving in the morning.

02:03:19.000 Like, you know.

02:03:20.000 Yeah, that sounds funny and real. 1.00

02:03:21.000 Yeah, like, shit like that will happen. 0.99

02:03:23.000 But, you know, it's the guy you piled around with. 0.99

02:03:26.000 Coolest, funniest guys in the whole prison.

02:03:28.000 He didn't think of him.

02:03:29.000 I don't know.

02:03:29.000 Got together and came up with amazing conversations.

02:03:32.000 It doesn't sound believable to me. 0.96

02:03:33.000 it sounds like horseshit, dude. 0.92

02:03:35.000 But I don't know what institution he was in. 1.00

02:03:38.000 Your friend's a liar?

02:03:40.000 I don't know either. 0.93

02:03:40.000 Because what guy's going to allow people that he doesn't know to walk in and be like, I'm going to tickle you. 0.93

02:03:46.000 I hate liars. 0.95

02:03:48.000 You hear a funny story and you go, let me file that in my brain. 1.00

02:03:51.000 And then you realize, this might be total horseshit. 0.99

02:03:53.000 Now I got to delete it from my fucking hard drive. 0.99

02:03:56.000 There you go. 1.00

02:03:57.000 I think your friend's full of shit, dude. 1.00

02:03:58.000 You should be mad at him. 1.00

02:04:00.000 I'm going to pretend it was real, though.

02:04:02.000 Okay, have fun.

02:04:03.000 You should tickle him and make it real.

02:04:05.000 And while you're at it, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:04:11.000 Oh, that one does.

02:04:14.000 Put yourself in his position and see what you've done.

02:04:17.000 But just keep in mind that you're somebody's son.

02:04:20.000 How would you like it if your father was a stranger?

02:04:22.000 And then tried to come into your life and tried to change the way your mother raised you.

02:04:26.000 Now wouldn't that amaze you?

02:04:28.000 To be or not to be?

02:04:29.000 That is the question.

02:04:30.000 When you're wrong, you're wrong.

02:04:31.000 It's hard to make a correction.

02:04:33.000 Harassing the mother for being with another man.

02:04:36.000 But if the brother man can do it better than you can, let him.

02:04:39.000 Don't sweat him, dude.

02:04:41.000 Let him do the job that you couldn't do.

02:04:44.000 You're claiming you was there, but not when she needed you.

02:04:47.000 And now you wanna come around for a day or two.

02:04:49.000 It's never too late to correct your mistakes.

02:04:52.000 To get yourself together for your child's sake.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 29, 2022

GOML LIVE #146 - MATTRESS BOY

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript