Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #147

00:00:52.000 That is one of the craziest songs in the fucking world.

00:00:57.000 That is HR Human Rights is his name.

00:01:01.000 And he's singing Don't Blow No Bubbles, which is an anti-gay diatribe, really.

00:01:10.000 I think HR is gay.

00:01:12.000 He once broke in allegedly to his record label's headquarters in drag with a gun and a paper bag and a skirt and high-heeled shoes.

00:01:22.000 And go back to the picture of this.

00:01:24.000 You can see who I'm talking about.

00:01:26.000 This is what I'm told, this guy there in the middle.

00:01:29.000 And he said, I need my check.

00:01:31.000 And they're like, dude, we sent you your check.

00:01:32.000 Just like Vin Diesel the other day.

00:01:34.000 Like, you get your check through the, we're not holding your check.

00:01:39.000 And then he starts prancing around, allegedly going, now everybody's going to know.

00:01:43.000 Now everybody's going to know.

00:01:46.000 So I think he's a gay.

00:01:47.000 But they were a pretty anti-gay group because they're Rastafarians.

00:01:52.000 And the Jamaicans are not big on menstrual cycles and homosexuals.

00:01:59.000 I think we all hate one of those things.

00:02:03.000 And so when the Bad Brains stayed at the Big Boys house in Texas, Big Boys were a really cool, gay, hardcore band.

00:02:11.000 They wrote Blood Clot Faggot on their home.

00:02:17.000 And I interviewed Daryl Jennifer, the bassist from the band, or guitarist, I don't know.

00:02:21.000 I said, what was going on with that?

00:02:23.000 And he said, HR is a very creative motherfucker.

00:02:25.000 He's a very creative individual.

00:02:30.000 Okay, that's actually a good answer, isn't it?

00:02:34.000 And I was reminded of that song.

00:02:36.000 So that song, Don't Blow No Bubbles, has lyrics like, Don't Blow No Bubbles, meaning don't suck off the monkey bubbles.

00:02:45.000 Because he was under the impression that Michael Jackson was filleting his pet monkey, sucking his little weird monkey dick, which I didn't know you could do.

00:02:54.000 Can you do that?

00:02:55.000 Don't look at me.

00:02:56.000 I got to try.

00:02:57.000 That's on my bucket list.

00:02:59.000 That's on my fuck it list.

00:03:00.000 Fuck monkey.

00:03:04.000 But also in that song, he says, don't blow no spikes, which is, as Maddie would know, spikes is...

00:03:11.000 Hypodermic needle?

00:03:12.000 No, no hypes.

00:03:13.000 No pipes.

00:03:14.000 No pipes.

00:03:15.000 So hypodermic needle is a spike.

00:03:18.000 So you're not allowed to do that.

00:03:19.000 And he's saying, it's the way you can't stop the AIDS.

00:03:23.000 So don't blow monkeys.

00:03:24.000 Don't be gay is the subtext.

00:03:27.000 Don't have intravenous drug use.

00:03:32.000 And then he says, ask Ja and he'll make the change.

00:03:35.000 Meaning, pray to your God and he'll help you be un-gay.

00:03:38.000 Well, that makes sense now because at first they thought AIDS came from guys fucking monkeys.

00:03:45.000 Oh yeah.

00:03:46.000 And maybe JR got that confused.

00:03:48.000 Yeah.

00:03:48.000 And he was like, it came from gays regularly fucking monkeys.

00:03:52.000 Well, people.

00:03:54.000 I don't know if they were.

00:03:56.000 Is that make you gay if you fuck a monkey?

00:03:58.000 A guy monkey?

00:03:59.000 That's bestiality.

00:04:00.000 I've fucked a lot of animals in my time.

00:04:04.000 But I pull up the clip of Cheryl Crow.

00:04:06.000 I'll get to introducing the show in a second here.

00:04:08.000 But I'm still talking about the intro song.

00:04:11.000 She's fucking 60, dude.

00:04:14.000 More like 60.

00:04:15.000 Autoplastic surgery.

00:04:16.000 If my wife looked like that at 60, I'm going to fuck her.

00:04:21.000 Right in the vagina.

00:04:23.000 There you go.

00:04:24.000 Mark my words.

00:04:26.000 I marked them down.

00:04:27.000 If my wife looks like that in 15 years, she's getting laid.

00:04:33.000 That's Cheryl Crove?

00:04:34.000 Yeah.

00:04:35.000 It looks nothing like her.

00:04:37.000 Okay, then I hereby condone plastic surgery starting now.

00:04:43.000 Anyway, click of the thing.

00:04:45.000 Click of the thing.

00:04:47.000 Watching Amos and Andy, and then the chimpanzee is there in the room with you.

00:04:53.000 In order to discipline the chimpanzee, he starts poking in the chest.

00:04:58.000 You mean a chimpanzee?

00:05:00.000 No, it's like a kind of a fruity chimp.

00:05:02.000 A chimpanzee.

00:05:03.000 A chimpanzee.

00:05:04.000 Yeah.

00:05:05.000 Look up the pronunciation of that.

00:05:07.000 That can't be right.

00:05:08.000 A chimpanzee?

00:05:11.000 A chimpanzee?

00:05:12.000 And you know Howard Stern is pretending to be an animal rights dude because the person who sucks his dick is obsessed with animal rights.

00:05:19.000 So he's pretending that he gives a fuck about a monkey from 100 years ago.

00:05:24.000 Dude, she's had a lot of work.

00:05:26.000 My self-control, not doing racist jokes right now, is...

00:05:31.000 I deserve a purple heart.

00:05:32.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:33.000 Yeah, chimpanzee.

00:05:35.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:36.000 I would even give the Z a little more oomph.

00:05:40.000 Like the Tapan Z bridge.

00:05:42.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:43.000 Now I'm forgetting the chimpanzee bridge.

00:05:45.000 He fucked my head up.

00:05:46.000 Now I don't even know how to say it.

00:05:48.000 Chimpanzee?

00:05:49.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:51.000 What did she say?

00:05:52.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:53.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:53.000 It doesn't sound right either.

00:05:54.000 Chimpanzee.

00:05:55.000 It's like my parents called TPs Tape's.

00:05:59.000 Tattoos, Tattoos.

00:06:01.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:03.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:04.000 No, that's a major bridge that gets you to Nyack.

00:06:08.000 The Tappanzee.

00:06:09.000 The Tappanzee-ass bridge.

00:06:11.000 Anyway, go back to this fucking...

00:06:13.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:14.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:06:15.000 It's chimpanzee.

00:06:19.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:20.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:21.000 Howard's, if you love chimpanzee so much, how come you've never said the word before?

00:06:27.000 Go ahead.

00:06:28.000 By that, that he was Poking this poor little chimpanzee in the chest with a pen.

00:06:34.000 You must have been appalled.

00:06:36.000 Well, this poor little chimpanzee that could have picked him up and thrown him out the window.

00:06:40.000 No, she's using his pronunciation to not seem rude because she doesn't want to seem dumb.

00:06:44.000 So she's like, wow, his wife's an animal rights person.

00:06:47.000 That must be how you say it.

00:06:49.000 Chimpanzee.

00:06:52.000 What's next, albinos?

00:06:54.000 I ripped his face off.

00:06:55.000 I ripped his face off, yeah.

00:06:57.000 Right.

00:06:59.000 I'm just trying to like stay in my body because Michael's laughing at Amos Nanny and throwing popcorn and poking bubbles in the chest.

00:07:08.000 And I'm just this, you know, girl who just moved to L.A. seven months ago, who used to be a school teacher.

00:07:16.000 You're sitting there with Michael Jackson, biggest pop star in the world.

00:07:19.000 Anyway, don't blow your monkey.

00:07:21.000 Don't blow no bubbles.

00:07:22.000 It's the way you can stop the AIDS.

00:07:24.000 Let's start the show.

00:07:25.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:07:28.000 We are here with Maddie O'Dell, the co-host.

00:07:31.000 Up, everybody.

00:07:32.000 Good to be seen.

00:07:33.000 Good to be here.

00:07:34.000 He just finished up Fantastic Maddie's shitty little kitchen where he made scotch pies.

00:07:39.000 Yeah.

00:07:39.000 Which we'll be able to do.

00:07:40.000 Everyone enjoys that as much as I did making them.

00:07:43.000 A little heavy on the pepper, but.

00:07:46.000 White pepper next time.

00:07:47.000 White pepper.

00:07:48.000 Just a sprinkle.

00:07:49.000 And we have a special guest.

00:07:51.000 Sylvia is not back.

00:07:54.000 There's Tim Dickman, retired state trooper.

00:07:58.000 He has had a severe accident, road accident, so he can't really speak.

00:08:05.000 Hello, everybody.

00:08:06.000 It's pretty good having me here.

00:08:08.000 Happy to be here.

00:08:10.000 Yeah.

00:08:10.000 See?

00:08:12.000 He's brain damaged.

00:08:13.000 He can't talk correctly.

00:08:16.000 We did our thing where we said, hey, can you guys send us high-vis teas?

00:08:22.000 Dude, we're drowning in high-vis teas now.

00:08:26.000 That's what we're all wearing.

00:08:27.000 I'm going to send you guys a high-vis tee for sending it to us.

00:08:31.000 We got a lot from Illuma Wood.

00:08:33.000 What do we got here?

00:08:34.000 Look at all our awesome high-vis teas.

00:08:36.000 Safety first from Giorno construction injury lawyers.

00:08:44.000 They sound like ambulance chasers.

00:08:47.000 We got...

00:08:48.000 It's not construction, it's Bongiorno.

00:08:50.000 Central paving.

00:08:53.000 We got fucking...

00:08:57.000 Safety, productivity, quality over at Rico.

00:09:02.000 We got more central paving, more central painting.

00:09:07.000 When you guys sent me these, you didn't tell me what size you want in return.

00:09:12.000 Classic aluma wood covers.

00:09:16.000 I don't know what Illuma wood is.

00:09:17.000 I assume it's a combination of aluminum and wood.

00:09:20.000 They're getting free advertising here.

00:09:22.000 Look how cool their merch is, though.

00:09:25.000 They build.

00:09:28.000 There you go.

00:09:29.000 Build it and they will come.

00:09:32.000 What does yours say, Ryan?

00:09:33.000 Skate or die?

00:09:34.000 Pave or die?

00:09:35.000 Shade or die.

00:09:37.000 Shade or die.

00:09:38.000 That's the winner there.

00:09:39.000 I'm taking it.

00:09:39.000 Two guns.

00:09:41.000 Royalty Electric, of course.

00:09:44.000 It's electric.

00:09:46.000 And then some people just like bought a shirt.

00:09:48.000 Like, I got this Pepsi sweatshirt.

00:09:50.000 It still has the tag on it.

00:09:52.000 Yeah, it's for the high-vis drivers when they're delivering.

00:09:55.000 I picked up my son from baseball today, and I go, I got all my high-viz tees.

00:10:04.000 They're all your size.

00:10:05.000 You're a large.

00:10:06.000 And he's like, you look ridiculous in that thing.

00:10:10.000 And I'm like, dude, we live in a wealthy neighborhood.

00:10:15.000 The only concern the neighbors, the parents at your school have is that you join the old boys club, not you per se, but their kids.

00:10:24.000 And don't dilute the brand.

00:10:28.000 Don't fucking marry a working class person.

00:10:31.000 Stay upper middle class.

00:10:33.000 Don't learn a trade.

00:10:35.000 Don't blow it for us.

00:10:37.000 They don't want their daughters to marry the top plumber in New York State who, by the way, earns.

00:10:44.000 If you work for the city like Juliani or sorry, Eric Adams, and you're a plumber, you're looking at $300,000 a year.

00:10:50.000 They'd much rather they marry a guy in finance who makes $100,000 a year because he's part of that echelon.

00:10:58.000 So you wearing these shirts would be revolutionary.

00:11:03.000 But you can't fucking talk to kids.

00:11:06.000 No.

00:11:06.000 You both have teenage boys.

00:11:08.000 Well, your teenage boy's 10 years past teenagehood.

00:11:11.000 He's 26.

00:11:12.000 He'll be 27 in August.

00:11:14.000 But Tim, you have a teenage son.

00:11:16.000 Yep.

00:11:17.000 Does he like you?

00:11:18.000 He's starting to like me.

00:11:20.000 You got to hold the mic closer.

00:11:22.000 Hold the mic like it's the rock's dick.

00:11:27.000 But he didn't like you for the past three years.

00:11:30.000 He hated me.

00:11:31.000 So when did the hate start?

00:11:32.000 13?

00:11:33.000 Oh, hate started right at high school.

00:11:36.000 So like, yeah, 14 maybe?

00:11:38.000 Yeah, that's what I got.

00:11:40.000 Yep.

00:11:41.000 You know, I had to start disciplining him.

00:11:43.000 Right.

00:11:44.000 Well, it becomes an adversarial relationship, which I assume you guys are cops and criminals, which I assume is like a cop-criminal dynamic where you're like, don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you.

00:11:56.000 We're not friends.

00:11:58.000 I don't know how to do it.

00:11:58.000 I'm not relaxing on your watch.

00:12:01.000 I mean, discipline is the word, but you start to hold them more accountable for their actions as a person.

00:12:07.000 And then with their accountability or lack thereof, then you got to discipline.

00:12:12.000 Well, I'm also at zero tolerance.

00:12:14.000 Like, he comes downstairs last night and he goes, the laundry room was behind Gavstav at home bar.

00:12:22.000 And I said to them, no more fucking laundry.

00:12:25.000 You can do laundry once a week.

00:12:26.000 I do a laundry once a month.

00:12:28.000 I have a million pairs of socks and underwear.

00:12:31.000 And I wear the same outer shirts, you know, a lot.

00:12:34.000 So, you know, if you're not working on a farm, you don't need to do laundry.

00:12:39.000 So I go, you can do laundry once a week.

00:12:41.000 Because what these fuckers do is they have their favorite pants.

00:12:44.000 So they just wash the pants and then dry the pants.

00:12:46.000 And our con ed bill was, it's not, it was 30 bucks a day this month, but previously it was 50 bucks a day.

00:12:55.000 So no, we're stopping.

00:12:57.000 So I catch him outside GazTav last night.

00:13:00.000 And I'm like, what's going on?

00:13:01.000 He goes, doing a laundry.

00:13:03.000 Like, everything I say is the stupidest thing in the world.

00:13:07.000 Like, where's Africa?

00:13:10.000 It's the whole fucking continent, dude.

00:13:13.000 It's like below Europe.

00:13:14.000 Like, get it together.

00:13:16.000 So I'm not asking that.

00:13:17.000 I'm saying, what are you doing?

00:13:18.000 And he goes, I'm doing a laundry.

00:13:20.000 I got to wear khakis for baseball.

00:13:22.000 Okay.

00:13:23.000 Well, you seem to have quite a load there.

00:13:25.000 What?

00:13:26.000 I had outlawed washing your clothes too much.

00:13:28.000 So he had stacked up his pile with clean clothes.

00:13:33.000 And I go, what the fuck are these?

00:13:36.000 They're my wife's Lululemons.

00:13:38.000 What are these doing in the pile?

00:13:39.000 He goes, oh no.

00:13:41.000 She left them on my floor.

00:13:43.000 First of all, it's not she.

00:13:45.000 It's mom.

00:13:46.000 Don't call her she.

00:13:48.000 Isn't that a cow?

00:13:49.000 Are you doing your mother's laundry now?

00:13:51.000 Or are you fluffing up?

00:13:53.000 I mean, I kind of appreciate it because it shows that he's going to become a hustler and fuck over the IRS one day.

00:14:00.000 That's good.

00:14:01.000 But I'm the IRS in this house.

00:14:04.000 So show me the stain on your pants and we'll scrub that out.

00:14:08.000 The IRS, irate, retarded Scottishman?

00:14:14.000 Well, the irony is the stain on his pants was actually impossible to get.

00:14:17.000 It was a menstrual stain.

00:14:18.000 Ew.

00:14:18.000 Because my son is trans.

00:14:20.000 Oh, I see.

00:14:21.000 He was born female.

00:14:22.000 Oh.

00:14:23.000 Yeah.

00:14:23.000 Did not know that.

00:14:24.000 I never told you that?

00:14:25.000 No, it's a good transition.

00:14:27.000 Yeah, we didn't get top surgery.

00:14:29.000 He straps his breast.

00:14:31.000 Huge bench.

00:14:32.000 He has huge tits.

00:14:33.000 Oh, geez.

00:14:34.000 Big fucking tits.

00:14:36.000 So he uses duct tape and polyurethane.

00:14:39.000 Oh.

00:14:40.000 So he gets rashes.

00:14:42.000 I would imagine.

00:14:43.000 Yeah, there's so much plastic under his skin.

00:14:44.000 Can't breathe.

00:14:45.000 Yeah.

00:14:46.000 The skin.

00:14:47.000 It's the new corset.

00:14:52.000 So, as you know, we take calls, we promote our sponsors on these shows.

00:14:57.000 I don't have our sponsors list, by the way.

00:14:59.000 Yeah, I messaged our guy and I said, hey.

00:15:03.000 I know about FOP.

00:15:04.000 FOP Metals.

00:15:05.000 FOP Metal.

00:15:06.000 FOP Metal, selling silver.

00:15:07.000 So we do the first part of the show free, and then we just take calls.

00:15:11.000 We do a live chat and we answer emails.

00:15:15.000 And you obviously can ask a cop or a criminal.

00:15:18.000 I want to bring back our game show today, cop or a criminal.

00:15:22.000 Let me just, for the first callers, let me just pull up a random text, right?

00:15:28.000 From either a cop or a criminal, and you have to decide who texted me, okay?

00:15:38.000 I'm going to have to go into Instagram for this particular one, okay?

00:15:44.000 And he says he's sending this cop or criminal is sending an article that says, a 2021 F Freedom Information request revealed the CDC purchased cell phone location data to track citizens' movement and compliance.

00:16:04.000 And this person who sent me this added with the link, he added, this is fucked up.

00:16:10.000 These fuckers lied.

00:16:14.000 Okay?

00:16:15.000 So that's all I'm telling you.

00:16:17.000 And when callers call in, we'll try to decide if that's a cop or a criminal.

00:16:24.000 But before we get to any of that, I guess we have to discuss things that will be old news by tomorrow.

00:16:30.000 Madison Cawthorne has been doxxed for humping a guy's face.

00:16:35.000 And I'm glad you two are here, actually, because I have a feeling, coming from a European city like Montreal and Ottawa and Canada, European culture, you're going to be more offended by this than I am.

00:16:50.000 Ryan, can you play the first link where I say sorry, but this is funny?

00:16:55.000 So this is, they say, Madison Cawthorne is over now because of this.

00:16:59.000 One of the hairiest butt cracks I've ever seen.

00:17:01.000 Turn it up.

00:17:04.000 Someone added Benny Hill music.

00:17:12.000 So that's his friend there.

00:17:14.000 And as you know, his lower half doesn't work.

00:17:16.000 He seems to be dangling his penis, his presumably dead penis, on his friend's face.

00:17:26.000 You guys both come from very machismo cultures.

00:17:29.000 I've done this kind of shit one billion times.

00:17:34.000 In fact, Ryan, when we last did our, you do the State of the Union with Censor TV where we meet the accountants and the tech guy and we all rent the hotel room.

00:17:43.000 We go over all the paperwork and see what costs too much and what costs too little and what and we party and get wasted.

00:17:50.000 And I broke into our tech guy's room nude and slithered into bed with him and started grabbing him as he screamed hysterically.

00:18:00.000 I consider that to be top-notch humor.

00:18:02.000 The guy that was humping the other person's face was in the wheelchair?

00:18:06.000 No, that's Madison Cawthorne.

00:18:09.000 I know who that is.

00:18:10.000 He's a Republican congressional candidate.

00:18:13.000 What is he now?

00:18:15.000 He's a very prominent dude.

00:18:18.000 Maybe go up.

00:18:21.000 Click on him.

00:18:22.000 He's running for North Carolina.

00:18:25.000 Honored to serve as a congressman for North Carolina's 11th district.

00:18:28.000 Okay.

00:18:28.000 America First.

00:18:29.000 He's in a chair.

00:18:30.000 He can stand up with a bunch of harnesses.

00:18:35.000 But it goes back to with Kavanaugh, they said.

00:18:40.000 He fucking jumped on some naked people that were fucking and he was nude.

00:18:45.000 He raped them.

00:18:46.000 And you're like, no, he...

00:18:47.000 Funny.

00:18:48.000 Well, we don't know who the person underneath him is.

00:18:51.000 Why does it matter?

00:18:53.000 Who knows if it's consensual or not?

00:18:55.000 He says it was his cousin.

00:18:56.000 And he was making, it was a funny thing.

00:18:58.000 It's not...

00:18:59.000 Wait, are you arguing whether it's rape or not?

00:19:01.000 Whether it's funny or not.

00:19:03.000 Oh, it's funny as hell.

00:19:04.000 Yeah.

00:19:05.000 Imagine you're at your cousin's house or your friend's house, and he's a gimp, and like Crip Daddy, if Crip Daddy, I was sleeping in a hotel, we shared a hotel room, and he started slithering over to me with his little praying mantis arms and rubbed his dick on my face, I would be laughing and punching him.

00:19:22.000 It would not be blackmail material.

00:19:24.000 No.

00:19:25.000 Like, it's not like the guy has a boner and he's going, oh, yeah.

00:19:31.000 It's not rape.

00:19:33.000 What do you think, Tim?

00:19:35.000 Ironically named Dick Man.

00:19:37.000 Who's the guy he's humping?

00:19:39.000 Just some random buddy, like a cousin or something.

00:19:41.000 And he has no problem with it?

00:19:42.000 He's laughing his head off.

00:19:44.000 Oh.

00:19:45.000 That's no problem.

00:19:46.000 I've done worse.

00:19:48.000 I've done worse today.

00:19:49.000 Dude, you know what I did today?

00:19:51.000 I came in here, the ladder that the ghetto blaster's on was in my way.

00:19:56.000 I said, what the fuck is this doing here?

00:19:58.000 I kicked it over, and then I pulled up my dick and I pissed on it.

00:20:02.000 And you were like, this is what I think of your ladder.

00:20:05.000 Pointing at me.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, I said, I hate your fucking ladder, and I pissed on it.

00:20:08.000 And then I decided to run out of the room and finish my piss in the bathroom.

00:20:12.000 Clean up the piss.

00:20:13.000 It's your ladder.

00:20:14.000 Come on.

00:20:15.000 We have a whole episode where I'm in the bath nude with Ryan, constantly rubbing my feet in his face, trying to make him uncomfortable.

00:20:22.000 Cowering in the corner like...

00:20:25.000 Yeah, I did not like it.

00:20:27.000 It's too much of indecency.

00:20:28.000 I believe it's in this bumper.

00:20:30.000 Dude, in the 80s.

00:20:31.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:20:32.000 That's me, nude.

00:20:34.000 Hey.

00:20:35.000 In the 80s, we used to pull out our dicks and just piss on guys.

00:20:39.000 I mean, our friends.

00:20:40.000 So what you do is you walk up to your buddy, you pull out your dick at a bush bash or something, and you start urinating on his pants, but you don't obviously tell him, and you go, hey, man, I got to talk to you.

00:20:50.000 There is some weird shit going on with Brian.

00:20:52.000 Like, I feel like he's mad, but he's not showing it.

00:20:57.000 And then the guy's wondering why you're gossiping for the first time ever.

00:21:00.000 And then inevitably, you start cracking up and you go, I don't know why Brian is so mad.

00:21:06.000 And then he's like, why is this guy enjoying this story so much?

00:21:10.000 And then he looks down and goes, oh, for fuck's sake.

00:21:13.000 Because piss is body temperature.

00:21:16.000 So you don't feel it on your leg.

00:21:18.000 It's going from body to body.

00:21:20.000 I'm cracking up just talking about it.

00:21:23.000 A bush bash.

00:21:25.000 Bushbash.

00:21:26.000 Partying out in the woods.

00:21:27.000 It's the only way we could party in the suburbs.

00:21:31.000 I guess we should discuss.

00:21:32.000 We're 25 minutes in.

00:21:34.000 We haven't even discussed our sponsors yet who dominate the first quarter of the show.

00:21:39.000 Let's start with Beard Vet.

00:21:42.000 Like all of our sponsors, for some bizarre reason, they're all vets.

00:21:47.000 Cops, vets, and criminals seem to be the demographic of this show.

00:21:51.000 And Beard Vet provides two things.

00:21:54.000 Fantastic coffee, especially the brand we drink here at the studio, El Diablo, and beard grooming products.

00:22:03.000 Now, my beard's a little small for beard grooming products.

00:22:06.000 Whoa, look at this new view.

00:22:09.000 Hey now.

00:22:10.000 Wow.

00:22:11.000 It's not perfect.

00:22:13.000 Ryan, I said, I want it over your head.

00:22:14.000 I know.

00:22:15.000 I just got to get something to affix it to.

00:22:19.000 Yeah, young people don't understand affixing things.

00:22:26.000 They don't understand like, get a stick and a clamp.

00:22:28.000 Like, they don't know what a vice is or a plumbing clamp.

00:22:31.000 But anyway, yeah, we drink the Diablo coffee.

00:22:36.000 It is a wild ride.

00:22:38.000 Very intense.

00:22:38.000 Gets you going.

00:22:39.000 I'm starting to think there's only like a couple drugs in the world.

00:22:43.000 Like, caffeine is fucking everywhere.

00:22:45.000 All that pre-workout shit is just caffeine and sugar.

00:22:49.000 Mountain Dew, Red Bulls, Fortune, all just caffeine.

00:22:54.000 Now, in the illegal world, there's opioids, there's heroin and cocaine, but that's basically it.

00:23:02.000 And caffeine is...

00:23:03.000 Don't forget my favorite.

00:23:05.000 Bobby P. Crystal Mass.

00:23:08.000 Lovely.

00:23:11.000 It's alarmingly common, especially in the South.

00:23:16.000 My drug of choice when I was able to party.

00:23:19.000 Yeah, not anymore.

00:23:21.000 No.

00:23:22.000 Advanced heart failure will put an end to that.

00:23:26.000 So Beard Vet does not endorse the consumption of amphetamine.

00:23:30.000 No, no, no.

00:23:31.000 I don't endorse it either.

00:23:33.000 But they do endorse fantastic beard grooming products.

00:23:37.000 This is vet-owned, fantastic coffee.

00:23:39.000 Look, you're buying coffee anyway, right?

00:23:41.000 You have to buy coffee.

00:23:42.000 It's toilet paper.

00:23:43.000 It's a necessity.

00:23:44.000 It's something you need.

00:23:45.000 So you might as well buy it from our guys.

00:23:47.000 And I hereby officially vouch for it.

00:23:49.000 It's fantastic coffee.

00:23:51.000 So don't get your coffee from some giant corporation that is woke and has a Black Lives Matter mural outside their office in Daytona Beach, Florida.

00:24:00.000 Go to beardvet.com, enter the promo code Gavin, and get 15% off your next order of Beard Vet El Diablo coffee or the Beard Vet grooming ship, which is fantastic.

00:24:17.000 All right, should we start taking some calls?

00:24:20.000 Well, the other news item I feel like might be old news tomorrow.

00:24:23.000 Everyone wants us to talk about the Amber Heard trial more.

00:24:27.000 And I'm like, why?

00:24:29.000 Is this still going on?

00:24:31.000 Yeah.

00:24:32.000 And if you go to Daily Mail or New York Post, it's just fucking 17 articles about them.

00:24:40.000 And I mean, is there any mystery here?

00:24:43.000 One of the most famous, very handsome, 100 millionaire guys in the world dumps his wife because she starts showing her age.

00:24:52.000 He gets some young dumb bitch who's a retard, fucks her a bunch of times, instantly gets bored, as we all would if we pursued that route, and then goes, get her the fuck out of here, and now they're embroiled in legal shit.

00:25:07.000 I mean, every time they're talking about their fights, he would do heroin, and then he'd get wasted, and then he'd shit himself, or other times he would do speed, and he'd hit me, and I was like, yeah, I figured.

00:25:18.000 I figured that was going on.

00:25:20.000 Like, didn't this, as my wife said tonight, didn't this go on with Elizabeth Taylor and fucking, what's the other guy's name?

00:25:29.000 Elizabeth Taylor and.

00:25:31.000 Oh, who was she?

00:25:32.000 Who's that guy?

00:25:33.000 Anyway, famous movie stars.

00:25:36.000 We just assume that they're getting wasted and beating each other up.

00:25:40.000 I mean, Sean Conner would brag about how women need a good slap.

00:25:44.000 You got tons of money and nothing to do.

00:25:46.000 There's like three months in between movies.

00:25:48.000 You're fucking loaded.

00:25:50.000 It's L.A. You can't go walk to a pub and hang out with guys.

00:25:54.000 We all assumed you were spending your millions getting fucked up.

00:25:58.000 And when you spend your millions getting fucked Up, you slap each other around.

00:26:02.000 It's a given.

00:26:03.000 I don't care.

00:26:05.000 I'm still trying to figure out why they're televising a civil suit.

00:26:10.000 I still don't understand.

00:26:11.000 Dude, it's on in my house, in my kitchen, on my wife's iPad.

00:26:14.000 It's just on all day.

00:26:15.000 Yeah, I don't get it.

00:26:16.000 It's like a civil suit.

00:26:18.000 So, I mean, a criminal trial.

00:26:19.000 So he's suing.

00:26:20.000 I guess we have, for the sake of our jobs, we have to talk about what's going on.

00:26:25.000 So she's suing.

00:26:26.000 He's suing her.

00:26:28.000 For like, what, 50 million?

00:26:29.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:26:30.000 And then she's counter-suing him because he made her unpopular.

00:26:36.000 Now she's not an Aquaman or maybe she isn't.

00:26:39.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:26:40.000 Like, do I have to get into the semantics of this?

00:26:41.000 I'm more interested in some fucking drug dealer who got caught selling Coke under the Manhattan Bridge.

00:26:48.000 But I thought that it was funny watching her act her head off because this is really all this is for them.

00:26:54.000 It's a movie.

00:26:55.000 They're acting in a movie.

00:26:56.000 They're in front of the cameras.

00:26:58.000 They're in front of the cameras.

00:26:59.000 And this is what they do.

00:27:00.000 Actors are retards.

00:27:01.000 They're empty vessels.

00:27:03.000 So you pour in a personality.

00:27:05.000 The reason he's so good and so successful is, besides the fact that he's handsome, is they can go, okay, you're a pirate now.

00:27:12.000 And he's like, okay, I'll be Keith Richards.

00:27:14.000 Fine, I don't give a fuck.

00:27:15.000 Just be a pirate.

00:27:16.000 So then he's Keith Richards, and then that's his personality.

00:27:19.000 Or he hangs out with Shane McGowan, and then he's Mr. Irish Guy.

00:27:23.000 Or he hangs out with Hunter Thompson.

00:27:27.000 Now he's Mr. Drug Guy.

00:27:29.000 And then the Cherokee Nation broke.

00:27:31.000 Oh, yeah, Cherokee Nation.

00:27:32.000 He plays fucking Tonto.

00:27:35.000 Next thing you know, he's talking like a ho-chunk from Madison.

00:27:39.000 I never really lost that.

00:27:40.000 But I guess that's what happened.

00:27:41.000 You know, he got famous pretty young.

00:27:44.000 Like, he was in like Nightmare on Elm Street, the first movie.

00:27:48.000 Yeah.

00:27:48.000 And then he was on 21 Jump.

00:27:50.000 Like, he never had a normal life as an adult.

00:27:53.000 I was exploded into blood in that movie.

00:27:57.000 If you have a low IQ and you're handsome, or you have a low IQ and you're beautiful, which seems to be normal for chicks, invest in that person.

00:28:04.000 They're going to be rich.

00:28:06.000 He's got to be worth, what, $300 million?

00:28:08.000 Yeah.

00:28:09.000 $40, $45.

00:28:12.000 But go to the, the thing I like about her on trial is, and I'm reluctantly doing this by popular demand, she talks to the entire courtroom.

00:28:22.000 So the lawyer will ask her a question.

00:28:24.000 Instead of staring at the lawyer and responding, she'll look around the room and try to like say like, at one point in this, she goes, I have a, yes, I have a baby sister.

00:28:33.000 I have a little sister.

00:28:34.000 I have an older sister, too.

00:28:37.000 I would imagine she's talking to the jury.

00:28:40.000 Yes.

00:28:41.000 I live in Yucca Valley, California.

00:28:44.000 In high desert.

00:28:44.000 Pretty yucca to shit in somebody's bed, I'd say.

00:28:47.000 How old are you, Amber?

00:28:48.000 I am 36.

00:28:50.000 I just celebrated.

00:28:51.000 The other thing I don't get about this is we don't have any evidence for this shit.

00:28:56.000 So it's just two people that hate each other's guts saying bad shit about each other.

00:29:01.000 Yeah, they recorded each other back and forth.

00:29:03.000 Yeah, so that we'll talk about.

00:29:05.000 That should be in the trial.

00:29:06.000 But like the shitting in the bed, unless you have a DNA sample, I don't believe you.

00:29:10.000 Yeah, there's no proof of that.

00:29:12.000 And do you have a daughter?

00:29:13.000 How old was she when you did the movie with her?

00:29:15.000 She's 36 now.

00:29:18.000 So 26.

00:29:19.000 Oh, 10 years ago in that movie?

00:29:21.000 I fucked her during that night.

00:29:25.000 Yep.

00:29:25.000 Very nice.

00:29:26.000 Many talented Mr. Ripley.

00:29:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:30.000 I'm glad you brought that up.

00:29:32.000 I forgot about that.

00:29:33.000 I texted that to Ryan.

00:29:35.000 You didn't fuck her.

00:29:38.000 Well, I didn't say I literally put my penis in her vagina.

00:29:40.000 I fucked her, meaning that we walked down the street together for four minutes.

00:29:43.000 Well, that's not fucking I remember.

00:29:44.000 On film.

00:29:45.000 How's that not fucking?

00:29:46.000 That's porn.

00:29:47.000 If that's fucking, then I'd fuck my aunt and fucking strangers.

00:29:50.000 Well, then you've got some talking to do to the big guy upstairs because you are not going to heaven if you fucked your aunt.

00:29:56.000 In the Cherokee tribe, you'd be named the one who shits out of his mouth because you're diarrhea.

00:30:04.000 Falsities.

00:30:08.000 I don't know.

00:30:09.000 I have a twitch.

00:30:10.000 She didn't.

00:30:11.000 The only thing I know about Amber Heard with that thing when we did the movie was I told you this before, the paparazzi was everywhere.

00:30:17.000 And she goes, yeah, they're here for me.

00:30:19.000 And I was like, who are you?

00:30:20.000 I looked on my phone and I saw a bunch of indie flicks.

00:30:22.000 And I was like, what?

00:30:23.000 You're in a bunch of shitty movies like the one we're in right now.

00:30:27.000 And then I found out later she's sucking Johnny Depp's dick.

00:30:31.000 And I wish I knew that because I could have said, I have a feeling this might not be the terrible indie films you've been in and the fact that you're sucking the most famous dick in the world.

00:30:40.000 And that dick is in the trial.

00:30:42.000 But yeah, as Tim points out, there's a moment in the trial where she's talking about how when you were with him and things were going well, the light would shine upon you.

00:30:51.000 But when things were going bad, you were a persona non grata.

00:30:54.000 It's in the talented Mr. Ripley verbatim.

00:30:57.000 Oh my God.

00:30:58.000 Check your text, Ryan.

00:31:00.000 Plagiarism at its best at the trial.

00:31:03.000 That's what happens.

00:31:04.000 And that's what I love about actors like Matthew McConaughey.

00:31:07.000 They deliver these incredible speeches that are written by nerds who have been writing their whole lives and have finally mastered the craft of writing a speech, which is very tricky.

00:31:17.000 I don't have it in my text.

00:31:18.000 You got to go hypothesis, conclusion, three supporting paragraphs.

00:31:24.000 There's got to be a good arc.

00:31:26.000 You better fucking not have this in your text or anybody else.

00:31:29.000 I don't.

00:31:30.000 It's true.

00:31:31.000 Well, look up talented Mr. Ripley then.

00:31:35.000 Maybe I sent it to myself.

00:31:37.000 You've done that on occasion.

00:31:39.000 Yes, I sent it to you.

00:31:43.000 On the floors of Tokyoho, a doubted London town's go-go.

00:31:48.000 Oh, here it is.

00:31:49.000 I think we got it here.

00:31:50.000 I found it.

00:31:51.000 I found it too.

00:31:52.000 I found it first.

00:31:54.000 Okay.

00:31:55.000 Quoting.

00:31:55.000 Like, even that fucking gay voice.

00:31:59.000 That's not your accent, dude.

00:32:02.000 Alright, guys.

00:32:03.000 Now I would like to show you something you would not.

00:32:06.000 I can't listen to Europeans.

00:32:10.000 Okay, so.

00:32:10.000 Alright, guys, we're going to be going through the Ama Hood, talented Mr. Ripley.

00:32:15.000 Plagiarism here, guys.

00:32:16.000 It's going to be totally cool.

00:32:18.000 And then later on, we're going to go to a rave.

00:32:22.000 She did quote.

00:32:24.000 We're going to be dancing and fucking totally partying, you guys, at the disco.

00:32:30.000 Do you like to go to the disco?

00:32:34.000 Every time people get hard on the blacks in America, I go, guys, I've been to places where whites have no blacks.

00:32:41.000 It's not utopia.

00:32:42.000 It's super corny.

00:32:44.000 They have blonde bangs like this, skin-tight, distressed denim, and they talk about going to the disco, you guys.

00:32:53.000 I said it to you, Ryan.

00:32:54.000 Okay.

00:32:56.000 Or sorry, Johnny.

00:33:03.000 See, this is what happens when we try to cover news on the Thursday night shows.

00:33:11.000 Okay, here we go.

00:33:11.000 We neglect our sponsors.

00:33:14.000 Here he is.

00:33:16.000 What else to do?

00:33:17.000 And I stopped laughing, but I didn't know what else to do.

00:33:21.000 Wait.

00:33:22.000 Is that what I just sent you right now?

00:33:24.000 Well, you sent me this.

00:33:26.000 Yeah, she did say she didn't know what scene that was.

00:33:30.000 And in her opening monologue, she's literally quoting the talented Miss Ripley.

00:33:33.000 It's looking like she's taking things out of books and movies and making them about her.

00:33:37.000 So click on the first pick.

00:33:40.000 Talent of Miss Ripley, actual quotes from the movie.

00:33:43.000 The thing with Johnny...

00:33:44.000 Oh, sorry, this is her talking.

00:33:46.000 The thing with Johnny, it's like the sun shines on you and it's glorious.

00:33:50.000 And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold.

00:33:53.000 When you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world.

00:33:56.000 That's why everybody loves him so much.

00:33:59.000 Okay, that sounds good.

00:34:00.000 And then move over to the next one.

00:34:04.000 The thing with Dickie, it's like the sun shines on you and it's glorious.

00:34:08.000 And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold.

00:34:10.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:34:12.000 When you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world.

00:34:16.000 That's why everybody loves him so much.

00:34:18.000 I mean, fucking Jesus.

00:34:20.000 Verbatim.

00:34:21.000 Not even the.

00:34:22.000 Not even the general concept.

00:34:25.000 Oh, my Lord.

00:34:28.000 That's like blowing her ear.

00:34:30.000 She needs a refill.

00:34:31.000 Go back to Amber acting her ass off in the first clip, Ryan.

00:34:35.000 Oh, here on Josh's thing.

00:34:37.000 He's got a clip of it posted up there.

00:34:41.000 Like, when I was around Johnny, I felt like the most beautiful person in the world.

00:34:46.000 You know, it made me feel seen.

00:34:47.000 It made me feel like a million dollars.

00:34:51.000 It felt like a dream.

00:34:54.000 It felt like an absolute magic.

00:34:58.000 Okay, that's not the sun shining on you.

00:35:00.000 And then he would disappear.

00:35:04.000 And there'd be just no way to get a hold of him.

00:35:06.000 There'd be just no way to contact him.

00:35:08.000 Stop.

00:35:09.000 I know what the disappear is.

00:35:12.000 He goes to visit an old friend who's good at keeping her mouth shut.

00:35:17.000 She's a fat chick.

00:35:19.000 They do heroin together.

00:35:21.000 I'm guessing, by the way, but I feel good about this.

00:35:24.000 Tons of tattoos.

00:35:25.000 She's tattooed like her toes are tattooed.

00:35:30.000 And they go and they have a session, like three or four days of just smack and falling asleep and shitting themselves and cleaning up the shit and just like actually they don't shit because they're constipated.

00:35:45.000 I caught you, didn't I, Johnny?

00:35:47.000 I don't know what you're talking about.

00:35:49.000 And he leaves her like 2,000 bucks after he leaves to keep her mouth shut.

00:35:53.000 I don't know, maybe 10,000.

00:35:55.000 And then she gets more smack.

00:35:56.000 It's a wonder she's still alive.

00:35:58.000 She's a bartender in the East Village.

00:36:00.000 She was.

00:36:00.000 On St. Mark's.

00:36:01.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:36:03.000 Oh, you just...

00:36:05.000 He who throws arrows in the dark and gets a bullseye.

00:36:10.000 Nostra Guinness strikes again.

00:36:13.000 Anyway, that's not what we're accusing her of.

00:36:18.000 I think this might be it.

00:36:21.000 Thing with Dickie.

00:36:24.000 It's like the sun shines on you and it's glorious.

00:36:31.000 And then he forgets you when it's very, very cold.

00:36:35.000 So I'm learning.

00:36:37.000 When you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world.

00:36:41.000 Actors.

00:36:42.000 But wait a minute.

00:36:43.000 Guys.

00:36:44.000 But they don't have hers.

00:36:45.000 This is not what Amber.

00:36:46.000 I don't have evidence of her saying.

00:36:48.000 That's true.

00:36:50.000 Yeah, this is not evidence.

00:36:53.000 She didn't say.

00:36:55.000 So now we have an ill-prepared show, and now we look like assholes.

00:36:59.000 Well, we got to the bottom of it.

00:37:00.000 But we debunked.

00:37:01.000 We're like snoops.

00:37:04.000 But go back to the clip I sent you where she's just like talking to the crowd.

00:37:11.000 She also celebrated her birthday recently.

00:37:14.000 She's one.

00:37:14.000 Okay.

00:37:15.000 We don't care.

00:37:16.000 What is your profession?

00:37:18.000 So she's talking about her birthday, and then she says her daughter just celebrated her birthday too.

00:37:23.000 She's one.

00:37:25.000 I'm a great person.

00:37:26.000 You should like me and vote in my favor.

00:37:31.000 I am an actor, mostly.

00:37:35.000 Mostly.

00:37:36.000 No.

00:37:37.000 Why are you here?

00:37:41.000 I am here because my ex-husband is suing me for an op-ed I wrote.

00:37:50.000 What's the next link?

00:37:54.000 Actually, fuck the next link.

00:37:55.000 I'm done talking about this.

00:37:56.000 All right.

00:37:57.000 Let's start the show.

00:37:59.000 Oh, okay.

00:38:01.000 We're going to start the show and then we want to take calls.

00:38:05.000 I'm actually embarrassed that we spent so much time on that shit.

00:38:08.000 Hampa Heard.

00:38:09.000 You heard?

00:38:19.000 Do we get rid of the freeloaders?

00:38:22.000 So now change the background to the males.

00:38:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:29.000 I've got to keep telling you how to do your fucking job.

00:38:31.000 We have a new fancy one.

00:38:32.000 Look at this.

00:38:34.000 This says it's back to back.

00:38:35.000 When I was around Johnny, I felt like the most beautiful person in the whole.

00:38:39.000 The thing with Dickie, it's like the sun shines on you.

00:38:46.000 It's the same.

00:38:47.000 No, it's not the same.

00:38:48.000 And then he would disappear.

00:38:52.000 And there'd be just no way to get a hold of him.

00:38:55.000 There's no darkness and no light crap.

00:38:57.000 Yeah, that's not verbatim.

00:38:58.000 I was sitting here laughing my head off.

00:39:00.000 You can't copyright the idea of when a guy likes me, I feel good, and then he doesn't like me, and I don't feel as good.

00:39:09.000 Sorry, that's called relationships.

00:39:12.000 That's called Every Chick I Ever Fucked, by the way.

00:39:15.000 Wait, do we?

00:39:16.000 What a fucking dumb wild goose chase that was.

00:39:19.000 That was a lie.

00:39:20.000 I'm annoyed.

00:39:23.000 I feel betrayed.

00:39:24.000 How do you feel, Tim?

00:39:26.000 I feel ashamed that I brought it up.

00:39:30.000 Yeah.

00:39:30.000 Oh, good point.

00:39:31.000 Should I leave?

00:39:32.000 It's Tim's.

00:39:33.000 You should be more ashamed that you drink Michelob Ultra.

00:39:36.000 What is that?

00:39:37.000 You're trying to slim down?

00:39:39.000 Yep.

00:39:39.000 $94.

00:39:40.000 Why?

00:39:41.000 No one wants to fuck you.

00:39:43.000 You're married to one woman and she's not interested.

00:39:46.000 I felt worthless.

00:39:48.000 I felt ugly.

00:39:48.000 I felt gay.

00:39:53.000 So she didn't quote the movie at all.

00:39:55.000 She quoted the general concept of rejection, which is like, yeah?

00:40:00.000 My wife brought that to me after she saw it on a TikTok.

00:40:03.000 Like it was.

00:40:04.000 Yeah, me too.

00:40:04.000 Well, in your defense, I sent it to Ryan because I was like, holy shit, she's quoting movies.

00:40:10.000 No, there's a movie that said a guy likes me and he didn't like me.

00:40:14.000 And she said, Johnny Depp liked me and then he didn't like me.

00:40:18.000 Anyway, this is the problem with covering fucking Amber Heard.

00:40:21.000 By the way, free speech.tv was an awesome URL.

00:40:26.000 I was very happy to get it.

00:40:27.000 And then we got sued or threatened to be sued by someone at the trademark.

00:40:31.000 They didn't own the site.

00:40:32.000 They own the trademark to FreeSpeech TV.

00:40:34.000 So we had to switch it to censored.tv.

00:40:37.000 I was not thrilled about that.

00:40:39.000 Censored is a weird word.

00:40:41.000 People spell it wrong all the time.

00:40:43.000 People think it's censored.tv, or uncensored is another big mistake.

00:40:50.000 But serendipity, God is smiling down on me.

00:40:54.000 It's becoming like the most used word in the American vernacular.

00:41:00.000 Look at that.

00:41:00.000 Front page of the New York Post today.

00:41:02.000 Censored.

00:41:03.000 Conservatives instantly gained followers after Elon by proof of Twitter's secret shadow banning.

00:41:12.000 We also discovered today, by the way, that Soros, the Clintons, and Obama have been pressuring advertisers on Twitter to boycott Twitter if Elon buys in.

00:41:25.000 Because Joe Biden is not president.

00:41:28.000 Obama is president.

00:41:29.000 And Obama is pushing this misinformation shit because he wants to control the American conversation the same way Britain controls the British conversation with the BBC and the same way that Canada controls the Canadian conversation with the CBC and Justin's bizarre donations to random media companies.

00:41:50.000 That's pretty big.

00:41:51.000 We'll be discussing that tomorrow.

00:41:55.000 We do have fought medals.

00:41:56.000 We do have what?

00:41:58.000 Oh, fought medals.

00:41:59.000 Yes.

00:42:01.000 You know, I keep saying to people, buy books.

00:42:04.000 Don't throw out your CDs.

00:42:06.000 Don't throw out your cassettes and buy hardcover books.

00:42:10.000 I have a book called When Harry Became Sally.

00:42:13.000 I just picked it up for like 10 bucks about 10 years ago.

00:42:17.000 And it is unavailable now.

00:42:20.000 Similarly, buy silver.

00:42:22.000 Look, I don't know shit about Bitcoin.

00:42:24.000 I'm not getting involved in that.

00:42:26.000 I'm too old to figure it out.

00:42:27.000 Silver is tangible.

00:42:29.000 Silver, I know.

00:42:31.000 Veteran-owned FOP medals have trust and transparency.

00:42:36.000 You know what you're getting.

00:42:37.000 You can hold on to it.

00:42:39.000 If the shit hits the fan, you're holding silver in your hand.

00:42:43.000 Go through that site, Ryan.

00:42:45.000 Let's see everything they have available.

00:42:46.000 No, not your homepage.

00:42:48.000 It's called God's Money.

00:42:50.000 Yeah.

00:42:51.000 I wish I met, was it Steve Forbes at Fox News once, and he was all about getting the Fed back to the gold standard.

00:43:02.000 That would be awesome.

00:43:04.000 That's what we need to do here, because look at what Biden's doing, just printing infinite money.

00:43:09.000 And the problem with the death of math in education is young people, Zoomers and millennials go, I don't understand.

00:43:16.000 Just make, if you need money, just make another $100 bill.

00:43:19.000 Yeah, T-notes.

00:43:20.000 They have the fucking, they have the capabilities.

00:43:24.000 If we're low on dough, just make more dough.

00:43:27.000 What could possibly be the problem?

00:43:30.000 Silver's up 3% today, too.

00:43:32.000 Oh, really?

00:43:32.000 Do you invest in silver?

00:43:34.000 Yeah, I have silver.

00:43:34.000 I have precious metals.

00:43:35.000 Oh, wow.

00:43:36.000 What about you, Tim?

00:43:37.000 Nope.

00:43:41.000 I got.

00:43:42.000 You do?

00:43:42.000 I do.

00:43:43.000 Really?

00:43:44.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:46.000 A guy who bought like a fucking ton of gold brush all over his house.

00:43:49.000 What'd you say?

00:43:50.000 I got a bunch.

00:43:51.000 And then Hollow.

00:43:53.000 It's like a lie.

00:43:54.000 No, I do.

00:43:54.000 I have five pounds of silver.

00:43:56.000 I have a couple of ounces of it.

00:44:00.000 Where?

00:44:01.000 In coins, different coins.

00:44:03.000 We have a bullet that my wife wanted to get a bullet.

00:44:06.000 We went to a silver convention.

00:44:07.000 We went to like a coin convention.

00:44:09.000 That's where I got all this weird money.

00:44:11.000 I got this like Jewish money and Nigerian money.

00:44:13.000 Isn't all money Jewish money?

00:44:15.000 Hey.

00:44:16.000 Just kidding, FOP Metals.

00:44:19.000 Well, goodbye, FOP Metals.

00:44:20.000 It's been real.

00:44:21.000 This is our last ad with FOP Metals.

00:44:24.000 Yeah, another vet-owned company.

00:44:26.000 So use promo code GAVIN when you go to FOPMetals.com.

00:44:30.000 By the way, if you're just hearing the audio here, it's a strange spelling.

00:44:33.000 P-H-A-U-P.

00:44:36.000 FOP.

00:44:36.000 P-H-A-U-Pmetals.com.

00:44:40.000 What's going on over there?

00:44:42.000 Oh.

00:44:43.000 I believe we do also, we want to, I don't know if they're going to be down for this, but we want to mint a coin with them.

00:44:50.000 Oh, that would be fun.

00:44:50.000 So it says G-OML on one side and then maybe a baby monster on the back, like the one that we have the shirt graphic for.

00:44:56.000 That'd be amazing.

00:44:57.000 I want the URL, gofuckyourself.com, so badly.

00:45:00.000 I looked it up.

00:45:01.000 It's some message board for porn stars.

00:45:04.000 Look, people who make porn.

00:45:06.000 It's called gfy.com.

00:45:07.000 Now, what if you add something to it?

00:45:09.000 They're not using gofuckyourself.com.

00:45:11.000 How about gofuckyourself loser?

00:45:13.000 No, no, that's done.

00:45:14.000 Because I want when people ask me what I'm doing, I want to go, yeah, I do a site called gofuckyourself.com.

00:45:20.000 That is pretty good.

00:45:21.000 And they're like, okay, calm down, calm down.

00:45:23.000 No, you're not on Fox News anymore.

00:45:25.000 I'm not trying to start a fight.

00:45:26.000 Like, no, I'm not trying to start a fight either.

00:45:28.000 That's my site.

00:45:32.000 All right, can we take some calls?

00:45:33.000 Should we check some mail?

00:45:35.000 Do we also have Johnny Apple CBD?

00:45:41.000 Are you sure we have Johnny Apple CBD?

00:45:44.000 All I know is I got an updated copy and we were to kind of update uh now it's fifteen percent.

00:45:51.000 So going back in time, if we've ever advertised twenty percent, it's fifteen percent.

00:45:56.000 Okay, and they also have been wrong about virtually everything that's come out of your mouth.

00:46:00.000 I got some new emails from that.

00:46:01.000 Are you sure that we have johnnyapplecbd.com as a okay, so johnnyapplecbd.com.

00:46:08.000 They've been with us since day one.

00:46:11.000 And the variety on their site is shocking.

00:46:14.000 It's not just vape stuff.

00:46:17.000 It's not just the gummies.

00:46:18.000 By the way, the gummies have this weird shit in them.

00:46:21.000 You can get one particular, I think it's called the Delta, where you're baked.

00:46:25.000 Delta 8 gets you baked.

00:46:26.000 Delta 8.

00:46:27.000 That's how you remember.

00:46:28.000 Delta 8.

00:46:29.000 You're fucking stoned out of your mind.

00:46:31.000 Totally legally.

00:46:34.000 No THC whatsoever.

00:46:36.000 Everything is by the book.

00:46:38.000 And you're fucking high.

00:46:40.000 Take it at night.

00:46:41.000 Go for a nap.

00:46:43.000 Have the craziest dreams you've ever had.

00:46:45.000 Holy shit.

00:46:47.000 I just remembered that I was taking CBDs and I had a dream about Superman.

00:46:53.000 I dreamt a sketch.

00:46:55.000 Interesting.

00:46:56.000 You want to hear it?

00:46:57.000 Oh, please.

00:46:58.000 Okay.

00:46:59.000 I dreamt a comedy sketch on Johnny Apple CBD.

00:47:04.000 It's a woman in a car and it's coming from the sky.

00:47:08.000 And she's yelling at the passenger seat.

00:47:10.000 She's like, Superman, help, help, Superman.

00:47:14.000 And then he catches the car and brings it down.

00:47:17.000 And then he's like, why the fuck was the car flying in the sky?

00:47:24.000 And she's like, oh, nothing.

00:47:26.000 And then they drive away.

00:47:28.000 Can't you go?

00:47:30.000 No prime reason.

00:47:31.000 No, I can't explain it.

00:47:33.000 And then another one is some guy, some kid is at his house and he has to eat octopus.

00:47:39.000 And he's like, Superman, hope, hope.

00:47:41.000 And Superman flies through their front of their...

00:47:44.000 I'm remembering, I dreamt this.

00:47:46.000 Well, you know, not really dream, like semi-awake.

00:47:49.000 He walks through the front of their house, destroys their bay window.

00:47:53.000 He goes up to the kid.

00:47:55.000 The kid spits out the shitty food in his mouth and he throws it down on the ground.

00:47:59.000 And Superman goes, that's fucking gross.

00:48:03.000 And then he flies out the hole he made.

00:48:05.000 And then the parents start hitting the kid because he fucked up the front of the house by calling for Superman.

00:48:13.000 So that's funny.

00:48:14.000 That's the kind of funny shit you come up with when you're on Johnny Apple CBDs at johnnyapple.com.

00:48:21.000 Promo code Gavin, 15% off.

00:48:24.000 Tank sure to take the edge off.

00:48:26.000 What?

00:48:26.000 Hey guys, good news.

00:48:28.000 It's 20% off.

00:48:31.000 So, wait a minute.

00:48:32.000 I have the read here.

00:48:33.000 That would mean you were wrong.

00:48:34.000 It's correct.

00:48:36.000 But I was correct about being wrong.

00:48:39.000 You were correct about being wrong.

00:48:41.000 That's a new one.

00:48:42.000 That gels with me.

00:48:43.000 That feels about right.

00:48:44.000 That's about the amount of responsibility I'd like to take.

00:48:47.000 Correct about being wrong.

00:48:49.000 I put a skull and crossbones on the Delta 8 one because it gets you lidy.

00:48:54.000 And I don't partake in anything.

00:48:56.000 I don't smoke weed.

00:48:58.000 I barely drink.

00:48:59.000 If I'm at Doomerfest, I'll drink.

00:49:02.000 But here we go.

00:49:03.000 And by the way, I've been taking a nighttime nootropic to try to get me to bed.

00:49:09.000 Now, they're expensive.

00:49:10.000 I'm going to try to go onto their...

00:49:12.000 It's called Nighttime Tincture, which will put you to sleep with CBN.

00:49:17.000 Not CBD, CBN.

00:49:19.000 And they have an HHC super hemp stem vape pen that's brand new.

00:49:24.000 And the tincture is CBN.

00:49:26.000 It's infused with CBD and a really powerful relaxant.

00:49:29.000 Am I the only guy dying of boredom right now?

00:49:32.000 It's just quality information.

00:49:35.000 Okay.

00:49:38.000 Let's go to the mailbag.

00:49:40.000 Thank you, Johnny Apple.

00:49:41.000 Actually, let's say goodbye to the freeloaders.

00:49:45.000 Yeah, they're gay.

00:49:47.000 So, guys, $10 a month, unlimited content.

00:49:51.000 You literally could not watch it all.

00:49:53.000 If you do watch it all, I'm worried about you because you're spending eight hours a day watching censored.tv.

00:49:59.000 You need to get a life.

00:50:00.000 But we don't just riff and joke about shit.

00:50:04.000 We cover all the top stories.

00:50:06.000 So when you're going to censored.tv again every day, you're not missing out on anything.

00:50:11.000 The war in Ukraine, we hit all the top trending stories, but we also fuck around and have plenty of laughs.

00:50:18.000 And the beauty of it is that it's 100% woke-free.

00:50:23.000 There is no woke shit on this show ever.

00:50:27.000 In fact, it gets alarmingly racist at times.

00:50:31.000 Just kidding.

00:50:33.000 So if you want to talk, if you want us to talk to you the way you talk to your friends in bars, go to censored.tv, pay the price of, what, two beers a month?

00:50:44.000 And have unlimited quality content.

00:50:47.000 Maddie Odell alone, just one guy.

00:50:50.000 You get him at the live show on Thursday nights.

00:50:53.000 He also does his own show, Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen, where in his tiny apartment, he makes incredibly elaborate dishes.

00:51:00.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:01.000 We got Anthony Coomi and I. We got Jim Goad on the site.

00:51:05.000 And we have Lotus.

00:51:06.000 She just posted a video for the first time in a long time.

00:51:09.000 Yep.

00:51:10.000 So we got Bits.

00:51:13.000 If you're watching for free, there's a whole free shit section.

00:51:15.000 Yeah, we have a whole free shit segment you can send to your friends.

00:51:18.000 I think Katie Hopkins...

00:51:20.000 No, I know Katie Hopkins and Wayne Dupree are no more.

00:51:23.000 They're no longer more.

00:51:24.000 One of the reasons is this asshole demanded a raise.

00:51:27.000 I'm not giving him more of my money.

00:51:29.000 So I said, okay, I'll give you two new shows, and I'll cut out two shows.

00:51:34.000 So I cut those shows out, and now he does Celebrity Mailbag, where he reads the mail as a person, a famous character.

00:51:44.000 Tomorrow's Own Benjamin, so write in.

00:51:46.000 He does Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen.

00:51:49.000 Yes.

00:51:50.000 We're very transparent on the show.

00:51:51.000 So goodbye, you assholes.

00:51:52.000 Get fired.

00:51:53.000 Get in trouble.

00:51:54.000 Be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:53:05.000 Tim, I can't believe I haven't asked you anything about your job.

00:53:09.000 You were the canine unit for the New York State Troopers, and your job was bomb diffusal.

00:53:17.000 Sort of, yep.

00:53:19.000 And there has never, you guys never diffused one bomb in the history of New York State or America.

00:53:26.000 That is incorrect.

00:53:29.000 Well, I've done it.

00:53:30.000 I think what I told you was the canine has not detected a bomb on a search.

00:53:39.000 Okay, a police dog has never discovered a bomb, ever.

00:53:43.000 I don't have any evidence of this, but that's the statistic that I was always told.

00:53:49.000 But army dogs have caught bomb dogs.

00:53:51.000 Absolutely.

00:53:51.000 You know, I don't think, I didn't make it clear, like, you know, bomb dogs can find guns and people, you know, they track human scent and do other things.

00:54:00.000 But, you know, I just meant like on a random search of, say, a dignitary motorcade or something like that, I was told there was never an explosive found.

00:54:12.000 Have you ever found an explosive otherwise?

00:54:16.000 You were in the bomb squad.

00:54:17.000 Did you ever come across a bomb squad?

00:54:19.000 Yeah, we would get called as a bomb, as a bomb technician, I would get called to bombs all the time.

00:54:23.000 Have you ever diffused a bomb?

00:54:25.000 Like a hand entry?

00:54:26.000 Like that whole thing with the red wire?

00:54:28.000 No.

00:54:29.000 No.

00:54:30.000 If you have a red wire and a blue wire, which one should one choose?

00:54:35.000 That would depend on the x-ray.

00:54:38.000 You would have to...

00:54:41.000 Didn't you tell me the other day some guy was making a bomb for a gender reveal and he blew his fucking self to smithereens?

00:54:47.000 Yes.

00:54:48.000 Yep.

00:54:49.000 That was public knowledge in the paper.

00:54:51.000 See it on the news.

00:54:51.000 Yeah, that made international news, I think.

00:54:53.000 Yeah, it was in Sullivan County.

00:54:55.000 And it was just blood everywhere.

00:54:57.000 Yeah, it was pretty bad.

00:54:58.000 What did he do?

00:55:00.000 He made a pipe bomb.

00:55:04.000 He drilled out a hole where you would maybe put a fuse.

00:55:07.000 He filled the center of the bomb with Pyrodex powder, black powder.

00:55:12.000 And then he filled the ends of it with blue powder, because he was going to have a boy.

00:55:17.000 And then he drilled in the end caps of the pipe bomb.

00:55:22.000 He thought that when he lit the center hole, the pressure from the black powder would push the blue powder out the ends and would reveal the gender.

00:55:34.000 But obviously he didn't account for the release of energy that would happen when you ignite that black powder and it blew up like a pipe bomb would.

00:55:44.000 And so one of the end caps into his head.

00:55:48.000 And he was just dead instantly.

00:55:50.000 So what were the escape routes for the energy?

00:55:53.000 Just that tiny hole he drilled?

00:55:54.000 Yeah.

00:55:55.000 Where the fuse was?

00:55:56.000 Yeah.

00:55:56.000 No other.

00:55:58.000 Nope.

00:55:59.000 Well, no.

00:56:00.000 The two end caps had holes in them also, which what was expected.

00:56:03.000 Oh, you got a powder to shoot out.

00:56:05.000 I was hoping for like fizz.

00:56:07.000 Yes.

00:56:09.000 But the energy didn't have time to get out of those holes.

00:56:11.000 No, it's no way.

00:56:13.000 You know what John told me at the pub?

00:56:16.000 I don't know if I mentioned this in the show today or in the past, but he was talking about how advanced our tanks are.

00:56:24.000 And we now have, instead of like bombs or bullets on tanks, we have these spears.

00:56:30.000 Stop me if I've talked about this before.

00:56:32.000 Spear?

00:56:33.000 Spears.

00:56:34.000 It's a long sort of a bullet.

00:56:37.000 It's a tungsten rod that's shaped like a spear.

00:56:41.000 And it's dead non-radioactive uranium.

00:56:44.000 Apparently uranium, after it's dead, is like the densest thing in the universe.

00:56:48.000 You couldn't pick up like a uranium stick.

00:56:51.000 It weighs like 400 pounds, even though it's just this big.

00:56:54.000 Okay.

00:56:55.000 So they put these in the tanks and they shoot it at an enemy tank.

00:57:01.000 It goes through the tank like a fucking hot knitting needle through butter.

00:57:10.000 It goes out the other side.

00:57:12.000 It creates a vacuum as it goes out the other side and sucks everything out a tiny hole, exit hole this big.

00:57:21.000 Which it can't, but it has to because there's so much energy going out of this little hole, just like a pipe bomb.

00:57:28.000 So the men that are in the tank get sucked out as much as they can.

00:57:33.000 And when you open up the tank after, it's just jam.

00:57:36.000 Yeah.

00:57:37.000 Soup.

00:57:38.000 It's just jam and bones.

00:57:42.000 Is it the kinetic energy penetrator?

00:57:46.000 Maybe.

00:57:46.000 Remind me not to be on the receiving end of that.

00:57:50.000 Our tanks are fucking badass.

00:57:53.000 So did you ever, like, did you wear the big bomb stuff?

00:57:57.000 I should have asked you this during the free part.

00:57:59.000 Yes.

00:58:01.000 And is that relatively reliable?

00:58:04.000 You could have an open casket at your funeral.

00:58:07.000 I see.

00:58:08.000 But you're going to die.

00:58:10.000 Well, it all depends on, you know, how many.

00:58:12.000 How many bombs did you deal with in your career?

00:58:15.000 You say bombs.

00:58:16.000 I mean, we went from everything to fireworks calls to military ordnance calls to kids making pipe bombs in their bedroom.

00:58:25.000 So a lot, if you add up all the calls, I would go.

00:58:28.000 But I'm talking about like...

00:58:29.000 A few times a month we would go on.

00:58:33.000 That's rare.

00:58:35.000 And everyone going who's getting closer, you know, big bomb clear blast area with the pylons and everything?

00:58:44.000 A few times a year.

00:58:46.000 A couple times a year.

00:58:47.000 Really?

00:58:47.000 Yeah.

00:58:48.000 I mean, well, what do you like?

00:58:50.000 We had one up in the center of the state.

00:58:53.000 The guy put a container full of, you know what, what's the exploding target?

00:59:03.000 Tannerite.

00:59:03.000 He put the tannerite in the, like a big plastic container, and you shoot tannerite.

00:59:08.000 The exploding targets, you feel like those?

00:59:10.000 He put it under a guy's car in the middle of the night.

00:59:14.000 And then he, I think he drove up with maybe an SUV or something and shot at the back because he didn't have any rounds, but he missed the container of tannerite, but he had it wedged underneath a guy's truck.

00:59:27.000 He shot all around it, completely missed the tannerite.

00:59:30.000 We didn't know what it was under there, but yeah, I had to go back down there in the suit and x-ray it and figure out what it was.

00:59:37.000 X-ray it?

00:59:38.000 Yeah.

00:59:38.000 You have a portable x-ray machine?

00:59:40.000 You sort of blast at it?

00:59:41.000 We have x-ray equipment, yep.

00:59:42.000 Do you wear regular clothes underneath the bombsuit?

00:59:46.000 What'd he say?

00:59:46.000 He said, do you wear regular clothes underneath the bombsuit?

00:59:50.000 A regular what?

00:59:51.000 Clothes.

00:59:53.000 Yeah.

00:59:54.000 Like jeans?

00:59:55.000 I usually pack shorts because it gets very hot in the bombsuit.

00:59:58.000 I would imagine something.

01:00:00.000 How heavy is that whole thing?

01:00:02.000 Oh, the helmet weighs like 30 pounds.

01:00:05.000 So it's heavy.

01:00:06.000 Yeah.

01:00:07.000 You're good for about 20 minutes on a hot day, and that's it.

01:00:10.000 So have you ever had a moment where you were like shaking and there was a red wire and a blue wire and you went?

01:00:19.000 No.

01:00:20.000 So the movies lied to you?

01:00:22.000 It's pretty uneventful.

01:00:23.000 It's slow, monotonous, step-by-step.

01:00:29.000 Pretty sexy job, though.

01:00:30.000 You work with dogs.

01:00:31.000 Women love those animals, guys.

01:00:34.000 And then your job is to diffuse bombs.

01:00:37.000 I started in the canine unit with a bomb dog, and then I worked my way into the bomb disposal unit.

01:00:44.000 And what is your pension?

01:00:45.000 What's every check you get?

01:00:46.000 What is that?

01:00:48.000 Well, I've only retired.

01:00:50.000 I've only collected one check.

01:00:52.000 It was sweet, though.

01:00:54.000 I'm going to guess you make $120 a year for the rest of your life till you die.

01:01:01.000 I'll go down to $80 if you get really angry.

01:01:04.000 But yeah.

01:01:05.000 See, this is how you find out how much people make.

01:01:08.000 You say, what do you make?

01:01:09.000 And they're like, I don't want to get into that.

01:01:10.000 And you're like, $70,000?

01:01:12.000 It's public knowledge.

01:01:13.000 Yeah, you could look on a...

01:01:14.000 $21C Through New York.

01:01:16.000 It's public knowledge, my pension.

01:01:18.000 So what is your pension?

01:01:20.000 It's averaged right now at like $127 a year.

01:01:24.000 Wow.

01:01:25.000 That's amazing.

01:01:26.000 And businesses are booming.

01:01:28.000 Get it?

01:01:29.000 And all your bills are paid.

01:01:30.000 Your mortgage is paid or damn near close, I bet.

01:01:35.000 I worked a lot of overtime in the last seven years or so.

01:01:39.000 And they factor that in, right?

01:01:41.000 It's like 80% of overtime.

01:01:42.000 But I heard they're trying to cut back on that because guys were abusing it.

01:01:46.000 Yeah, the tiers have changed since I got on the job.

01:01:48.000 Oh, you're tier three?

01:01:49.000 I'm tier two.

01:01:50.000 Oh, you're better.

01:01:52.000 My brother was tier three, I think.

01:01:54.000 They're up to tier six now.

01:01:55.000 Yeah, my brother, I believe, was tier three when he retired.

01:01:58.000 Now, what is your guys' beef with the NYPD?

01:02:03.000 There's no beef.

01:02:04.000 Yes, there is.

01:02:05.000 Occasionally, you might get a trooper that stops an NYPD.

01:02:10.000 You know, a lot of NYPD guys live outside the city, so they commute into the city.

01:02:14.000 They live in, what's that, River Three Rivers?

01:02:17.000 Pearl River?

01:02:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:19.000 In Rockland County?

01:02:20.000 Yeah, there's a lot of cops and firemen there.

01:02:21.000 It's cop land.

01:02:23.000 But occasionally, you know, you'll have an incident between a trooper and an off-duty NYPD guy on his way to work, and it gets figured out.

01:02:30.000 The unions get together.

01:02:32.000 Why are you denying this feud?

01:02:34.000 We know the feud.

01:02:35.000 Are you saying it died down?

01:02:36.000 You've got to acknowledge there was a feud.

01:02:38.000 Maybe I haven't checked in on it.

01:02:39.000 It was short, though.

01:02:40.000 It happened maybe a month or so, and then they figured it out.

01:02:43.000 A month?

01:02:44.000 Yeah.

01:02:45.000 It was like Army versus Navy.

01:02:47.000 FDMY, NYPD.

01:02:49.000 It was the fucking bloods in the crypts.

01:02:52.000 It's never that bad.

01:02:54.000 Because it was because a state trooper gave an NYPD guy a ticket.

01:02:59.000 Yeah, he feels disrespected.

01:03:02.000 Maybe, you know what I mean?

01:03:03.000 So he writes him a ticket, and then it blows up into this.

01:03:06.000 And then NYPD guys start writing state troopers.

01:03:09.000 And the trooper starts, oh, we're going to write every city cop we stop.

01:03:13.000 And then, yeah, I think a city cop locked up a trooper for DWI and the Bronx.

01:03:20.000 It was a little cute going on, but it didn't last that long.

01:03:23.000 It comes down to a dick measuring contest.

01:03:25.000 Yeah.

01:03:26.000 So is that over now?

01:03:28.000 Yeah.

01:03:28.000 It was a couple years ago.

01:03:31.000 Then it'll happen again.

01:03:32.000 There's no need to blow things out of proportion.

01:03:35.000 Can't hear him.

01:03:36.000 What do you think?

01:03:37.000 He said, there's no need to blow things out of proportion.

01:03:41.000 Ryan, so Tim can see you.

01:03:43.000 You might want to take over my back screen when you say things.

01:03:46.000 Oh, he can see me from the camera over there, right?

01:03:49.000 Oh, he can't.

01:03:50.000 That's Jesse Lee Peterson.

01:03:52.000 We have the AC blasting.

01:03:53.000 I want to ask one question, though.

01:03:55.000 When people say, how's your job?

01:03:57.000 You can say, businesses are booming.

01:04:01.000 You can take that one.

01:04:02.000 Me and the bomb tech.

01:04:04.000 It's booming.

01:04:05.000 Wouldn't it be amazing?

01:04:08.000 You guys have high-vis tees we can have?

01:04:11.000 The bomb squad?

01:04:13.000 Yeah.

01:04:13.000 No.

01:04:14.000 I guess you don't want to be high-vis.

01:04:16.000 Or the big suits, that'd be cool.

01:04:19.000 You must have cool merch.

01:04:20.000 I saw that you gave us a couple patches.

01:04:22.000 They're the coolest patches of all of you.

01:04:24.000 Oh, that was you.

01:04:24.000 Yeah, I'm going to get you some sweatshirts and stuff and t-shirts.

01:04:30.000 Why don't you have a tattoo of that bomb with the wings on it?

01:04:34.000 It's a cool logo.

01:04:35.000 I thought about it.

01:04:36.000 Okay, I'm getting boring.

01:04:39.000 Let's take a call.

01:04:41.000 And we do have the super chat.

01:04:45.000 So you would go to the site.

01:04:47.000 You guys all know how to do it.

01:04:48.000 You go to the site, and you go to live page, and then you click under donate to read a message on air.

01:04:56.000 And it would look like this.

01:04:58.000 We do have a caller on the line.

01:05:00.000 You might need to turn your mic on, Gav.

01:05:02.000 Oh, yes.

01:05:03.000 This plug doesn't work anymore, right?

01:05:06.000 Hello.

01:05:06.000 No, it does now.

01:05:07.000 It's fixed.

01:05:07.000 It was the fuse.

01:05:08.000 Hey, what's going on, caller?

01:05:09.000 Hey, man.

01:05:10.000 Hey, Bernan from Fort Lauderdale here.

01:05:13.000 I just wanted to see if we could get Ryan to do an impression of Crick Daddy with the hand and all.

01:05:20.000 You know, I've tried because me and my wife were not laughing at him, but the fact that he's always turned, it makes him look like he's suspicious of you.

01:05:31.000 He's always like this.

01:05:34.000 So it looks like he's suspicious.

01:05:38.000 Oh, fuck.

01:05:39.000 My bad.

01:05:41.000 I can't.

01:05:42.000 I've tried.

01:05:42.000 It's not good.

01:05:43.000 It would just be insulting.

01:05:44.000 I can do it in imitation of Crypt Daddy.

01:05:46.000 Oh, God.

01:05:47.000 It goes a little like this.

01:05:48.000 Oh, Ryan, I'm Crypt Daddy.

01:05:51.000 Oh, I've been cutting it.

01:05:54.000 Oh, I can't.

01:05:55.000 Oh, hey, what's going on?

01:05:56.000 What are you guys doing?

01:05:58.000 Hey, I have a fucking thing in my neck.

01:06:02.000 I'm Crypt Daddy.

01:06:05.000 Yeah, I don't want to do that.

01:06:06.000 How was that?

01:06:08.000 Terrible.

01:06:08.000 It was mean.

01:06:09.000 That was good.

01:06:10.000 No, it was not good.

01:06:11.000 I think I nailed it.

01:06:13.000 Terrible?

01:06:15.000 But I really want to see Ryan try.

01:06:17.000 Like, really, just try.

01:06:18.000 Just try, Ryan.

01:06:19.000 It's easy.

01:06:20.000 Just talk like those guys who have their neck things and then talk at an angle.

01:06:24.000 Tracheotomy.

01:06:25.000 Tracheotomy guy at an angle.

01:06:28.000 Yeah, I have been playing Elden Ring, but it's not very fun.

01:06:32.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:33.000 That's your worst he got.

01:06:35.000 I don't have the heart to do it.

01:06:36.000 It's not even like it's that.

01:06:38.000 You had the heart.

01:06:39.000 Now you're being more whatever racist you call it.

01:06:43.000 Racist.

01:06:44.000 You're being more crippledist by thinking it's too delicate.

01:06:48.000 I literally tried it.

01:06:49.000 It's so new on the side.

01:06:50.000 Okay, you're fine with things going.

01:06:51.000 Anyway, I could do the face swap.

01:06:54.000 I really want to see Ryan drop.

01:06:56.000 Yeah, I agree, Caller.

01:06:58.000 You're not off the hook till you try, you fucking faggot.

01:07:01.000 All right, well, I will try, but, yeah, basically, you know.

01:07:07.000 It's more of a grind.

01:07:09.000 Yeah.

01:07:10.000 He's not like that.

01:07:11.000 Oh, I didn't mean I don't have it in my heart.

01:07:13.000 I meant I don't have it in my vocal cords because I'm too able-bodied.

01:07:17.000 Okay, just do it.

01:07:18.000 I did it.

01:07:20.000 That was terrible.

01:07:21.000 Well, you want me to do it till it's good?

01:07:23.000 Wait, get close to good?

01:07:26.000 Hey, guys.

01:07:27.000 I'm Crip Daddy.

01:07:29.000 Oh, man.

01:07:30.000 I'm awesome.

01:07:30.000 Oh my god.

01:07:33.000 That's like fireworks.

01:07:34.000 I'm also pretty baked.

01:07:36.000 I'm not going to lie to you.

01:07:37.000 Oh, that's why.

01:07:38.000 That Delta fucked you up.

01:07:39.000 That was a lot more sense.

01:07:40.000 I was really feeling the Jesse Lee Peterson asking bomb guy questions.

01:07:44.000 Just be like, oh, you hate white, but just stupid shit.

01:07:47.000 But now I'm getting into it.

01:07:49.000 I'll take another call.

01:07:50.000 So now you're bumping your own microphone with.

01:07:52.000 Hey, Dweebs, I was the first second caller weeks, and you told me I won something from Beard Vet.

01:07:58.000 Tried to contact you via mailbag.

01:08:00.000 Do it again.

01:08:01.000 Okay, do it again.

01:08:02.000 We're sorry.

01:08:03.000 We fucked up.

01:08:04.000 Yes.

01:08:04.000 This is a great tweet from the mailbag.

01:08:07.000 Jesus Christ is the subject.

01:08:10.000 But it says, Kyle, this is going around.

01:08:13.000 It actually went pretty viral.

01:08:14.000 Jack Pisobic talking about Kyle Rittenhouse and saying, Kyle Rittenhouse, trigger discipline, I discipline.

01:08:24.000 And this horny teen has managed to not look at Lara Logan's tits, which are phenomenal.

01:08:33.000 Some of the greatest tits in the history of the MAGA movement.

01:08:38.000 Look at those things.

01:08:39.000 Not fake.

01:08:42.000 If you recall, Lara Logan was the one who was gang raped by Muslims.

01:08:49.000 Yeah, she was the one who...

01:08:51.000 She's looking pretty old there.

01:08:52.000 She was the one who was so woke that she went to the Arab Spring on behalf of 60 Minutes and said, hello.

01:09:01.000 She's like South African or something.

01:09:03.000 Hello.

01:09:04.000 What gives you the rat?

01:09:06.000 We are here with the Arab Spring and everything is going great.

01:09:09.000 It's just like the hippies.

01:09:11.000 It's just like Kent State.

01:09:12.000 Everything is awesome and Arab men are not sexist.

01:09:15.000 And I'm walking around with my blonde hair in no burqa.

01:09:19.000 What could go wrong?

01:09:21.000 And then they whip her back there and fucking finger her butthole, her vagina, tear at her tits, almost rip her tits off, her gorgeous tits off.

01:09:32.000 And that's when she realized, um, liberals don't have my best interest in mind.

01:09:37.000 I think I'm going conservative.

01:09:39.000 And that's when she joined Fox Nation.

01:09:42.000 And then, 60 Minutes, Australia, like four months later, went to some, I don't know, Denmark or some shit.

01:09:51.000 And they started interviewing Somalian refugees, expecting everything would go groovy.

01:09:56.000 And they got attacked.

01:09:57.000 They beat up the Somalians, beat up the cameramen.

01:10:00.000 Like, come on, guys.

01:10:03.000 But Lara Logan is a fucking Benjamin Buttons babe.

01:10:08.000 She gets hotter every year.

01:10:13.000 Somebody said engineers getting Lego cars to cross gaps is a gay for men type moment.

01:10:20.000 Interesting.

01:10:22.000 Okay.

01:10:24.000 Um, I don't understand what you just sent me.

01:10:26.000 It seems logical to me that a really long thing could get across a gap.

01:10:32.000 Um I'm told there's a Mets emergency right now.

01:10:35.000 Well my wife just texted me and said, what the fuck is going on?

01:10:41.000 908's on the line also.

01:10:45.000 8-7, final.

01:10:47.000 Uh-oh.

01:10:49.000 The Mets lost?

01:10:50.000 No, we're winning 8-7 now, but it's in the final.

01:10:53.000 It's very heated.

01:10:54.000 Can you pull up the game?

01:10:56.000 Do you know how to do that, Ryan?

01:10:58.000 I'm looking into it.

01:11:01.000 We have somebody on the line.

01:11:02.000 I don't know if they're...

01:11:03.000 Okay, let's talk to them.

01:11:04.000 908.

01:11:05.000 Go ahead, Paul.

01:11:07.000 Hi, how's it going?

01:11:08.000 Good.

01:11:10.000 Well, I was curious regarding the recent SCOTUS leaks on Rogie Wade.

01:11:17.000 So obviously a lot of people are upset.

01:11:20.000 I know you're anti-abortion, as am I, actually, but what is your opinion on people since abortions are going to happen regardless of whether it's legal or not?

01:11:30.000 So what is your opinion on people who wait too long and then they have to get an abortion?

01:11:36.000 Or they choose to get an abortion, but it's now illegal in their state, so then they're going to risk getting injured or whatever.

01:11:44.000 Where?

01:11:44.000 On a road trip to a Red City?

01:11:46.000 Yeah.

01:11:47.000 That's going to be medical torture.

01:11:49.000 This is what no one writing about this understands.

01:11:52.000 Right now, you have to have abortions legal in the entire country.

01:11:57.000 They want to overturn that.

01:11:59.000 That doesn't mean that the states can't still have abortion.

01:12:03.000 They're not making abortion illegal in 100% of America.

01:12:06.000 So New York City, every red city, which is basically all the big ones, will have abortion.

01:12:12.000 So these dumb sluts are protesting a road trip.

01:12:17.000 Medical tourism.

01:12:19.000 Sorry.

01:12:21.000 I'm sorry you had to sit in the car because you got so drunk you let some asshole, black guy usually, come in you and you got pregnant.

01:12:31.000 We're going to be deep diving on this tomorrow because it's a big subject, but it's, you know, all my MAGA dad buddies are like, this is really bad for us.

01:12:43.000 We're going to get slaughtered in the midterms because this was bad timing.

01:12:48.000 And I get that because it's going to get these Democratic housewives off the couch and voting because they're like, holy shit, we're going to lose abortion.

01:12:57.000 But I don't know if I agree with that because 50% of women are pro-life.

01:13:02.000 This isn't a female-male thing.

01:13:05.000 It's an ethical discussion about when a life is a life.

01:13:09.000 So lots of women are Christian and they don't think that abortion is kosher.

01:13:16.000 So I think it might have the adverse effect and have a lot of conservative women running to the polls and saying, I'm voting against or I'm voting for the GOP because I'm so happy that they're finally going to overturn Roe v.

01:13:32.000 Wade.

01:13:33.000 By the way, Jane Rowe had that baby.

01:13:36.000 She didn't want an abortion.

01:13:39.000 She was paid to pretend she wanted an abortion.

01:13:43.000 Her name isn't Jane Rowe.

01:13:44.000 It's like Nicholas, I think she's Scottish, Nikki McClowski or something.

01:13:50.000 She had her baby, gave it up for adoption, and she became pro-life.

01:13:56.000 Totally fake hero of theirs.

01:13:58.000 Just like fucking Rosa Parks.

01:14:00.000 That wasn't the girl who was at the back of the bus.

01:14:02.000 The black woman who was at the back of the bus, or at the front of the bus, who was sent to the back of the bus, was a potty mouth.

01:14:11.000 And she was like, motherfucker, you think you can make me sit where you want to say, I'll fuck you up and I'll rape your mother, you bitch.

01:14:17.000 I stabbed your grandma in the cunt with a broken bottle.

01:14:22.000 And they're like, huh.

01:14:23.000 Verbatim.

01:14:25.000 Can we get someone else?

01:14:26.000 And then they found some old woman who I don't think is black.

01:14:29.000 I think Rosa Parks is Indian.

01:14:32.000 There's no kink here.

01:14:33.000 And Rosa Parks was like, I wear white gloves and I hold my purse like this.

01:14:39.000 Okay, well, you get on a bus and do the thing that the other bitch did, but not as Leslie Jones.

01:14:46.000 Like, try to be a little more Denise Huxtable.

01:14:50.000 And she's like, no problem.

01:14:51.000 That's who I am because I'm a Cherokee.

01:14:53.000 I'm not even fucking black.

01:14:56.000 They keep having these fake heroes represent them.

01:14:59.000 But yeah.

01:15:01.000 Thanks for calling.

01:15:02.000 I stuck you on the line there quite a bit.

01:15:06.000 Now we got.

01:15:09.000 Motherfucking.

01:15:11.000 541.

01:15:13.000 You're in line.

01:15:14.000 Gavin.

01:15:17.000 I'm going to need you to keep talking about Amber Heard and that of a man, Johnny Depp.

01:15:23.000 How dare you?

01:15:23.000 Fuck you.

01:15:25.000 Okay.

01:15:25.000 It's the mad shitter.

01:15:27.000 Is it the mad shitter?

01:15:28.000 Wait, you're the guy who shot in that bed?

01:15:30.000 You piece of shit?

01:15:31.000 I did.

01:15:35.000 It's been making it really easy for me.

01:15:37.000 Everybody thinks it's her.

01:15:39.000 You know, normally I have to blame my shits on the dog or grandma.

01:15:43.000 Oh, yeah.

01:15:44.000 How did you get into their house?

01:15:45.000 Don't they have security?

01:15:48.000 It's a lot easier than you'd think.

01:15:50.000 Hmm.

01:15:52.000 What kind of shit was he like?

01:15:54.000 Because nobody's even thinking it's me.

01:15:56.000 Did you lay out a huge log or was it more of like a shart?

01:16:00.000 It was pretty fucking juicy.

01:16:02.000 It was like liquidy.

01:16:04.000 It was encased in a little bit of liquid when it came out.

01:16:07.000 Fuck you, dude.

01:16:08.000 You ever had one of those?

01:16:09.000 I am burdened you were a fag.

01:16:13.000 All right.

01:16:13.000 Thanks for calling.

01:16:14.000 Appreciate it.

01:16:16.000 Here's a letter to Maddie from Maddie's shitty little kitchen.

01:16:21.000 Maddie, I cooked the spicy peanut noodles and they came out great.

01:16:25.000 Thank you.

01:16:25.000 They were wicked easy to make.

01:16:27.000 Sounds like we have a Bostonian here.

01:16:29.000 Yeah.

01:16:30.000 Do you have any favorite recipes that include chicken breast?

01:16:34.000 Most of the time we go for thighs or drumsticks, but sometimes my wife picks up the breasts.

01:16:41.000 I'd say about 75% of the time they turn out dry, shitty, and bland.

01:16:46.000 Yeah, I'm not a big chicken breast, unless I just throw them on the grill and grill them.

01:16:51.000 But I like chicken leg quarters and stuff like that, dark meat, thighs, and drumsticks.

01:16:59.000 But chicken breasts, they'll be on the show.

01:17:02.000 We've got a chicken coming up.

01:17:04.000 Coming up.

01:17:05.000 Brian, show the picture, you fucking douche.

01:17:08.000 Oops, sorry.

01:17:09.000 Maddie's shitty little kitchen is the subject heading.

01:17:12.000 I got it right here.

01:17:16.000 Have you heard this whole thing about how chickens are gross now?

01:17:20.000 Look at that.

01:17:21.000 And they weren't with the good.

01:17:23.000 In the 50s and 60s, they would focus on the taste of the chicken, and now we're all about size, so we've ruined the taste of chicken.

01:17:32.000 I don't know how you gauge the taste of something 50 years ago, but allegedly, chickens have become shitty.

01:17:43.000 I buy organic free range.

01:17:47.000 Is there a big difference with the taste?

01:17:49.000 Yeah, they're smaller birds.

01:17:51.000 They're not big oversized birds that are grown for a couple of months and then slaughtered just for their size.

01:17:56.000 That's all the antibiotics and growth hormones and all that stuff they give them.

01:18:02.000 All right, let's take a call.

01:18:04.000 Maddie, have you ever been in a riot or had to fight your Sally?

01:18:08.000 I've been in a fight with a Sally.

01:18:10.000 Who was that?

01:18:11.000 What happened to you?

01:18:13.000 He was picking on another guy.

01:18:15.000 I've told the story on the show before.

01:18:17.000 He was mad because another Celly, I was in a 10-man cell in Virginia.

01:18:23.000 10-man cell.

01:18:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:18:24.000 It was originally for four men.

01:18:27.000 There was four bunks bolted to the wall, and then they threw three sets of other bunk beds in there.

01:18:32.000 So originally for four guys, we had 10 guys in there.

01:18:35.000 And this was in a private jail in Orange, Virginia.

01:18:42.000 CVRJ, Central Virginia Regional Jail.

01:18:45.000 The only time I actually had to fight a Selly.

01:18:47.000 And this kid was mad because there was another scrawny little white kid, kid Kyle.

01:18:54.000 And this guy, Randy, told Kyle to wake him up so he can go get his hair cut.

01:18:59.000 Kyle forgot, and Randy was picking on him and kind of like screaming at him, abusing him a little bit.

01:19:06.000 Were they all white?

01:19:07.000 And I said, your fucking alarm clock.

01:19:09.000 And they turned and they made a move at me.

01:19:10.000 And I just put him in Gatine, choked him out, dragged him in the cell.

01:19:15.000 And was everyone white in this story?

01:19:16.000 Yeah, all whites.

01:19:20.000 And no riots?

01:19:22.000 I've been in prisons where there have been riots, but I wasn't involved in them.

01:19:26.000 I got the word from the Spanish guys to stay out of the yard, but I went to the yard anyway.

01:19:31.000 We climbed up on the backstop of the softball field while 50 DC blacks fought about 150 Mexicans.

01:19:39.000 Wow.

01:19:40.000 Yeah.

01:19:40.000 That sounds like a fun.

01:19:41.000 Oh, flash grenade, bomb, bomb, bomb.

01:19:44.000 That was crazy.

01:19:46.000 I think we were in a month-long institutional lockdown after that.

01:19:50.000 That must have been one of the most entertaining things you could possibly see.

01:19:54.000 Oh, it was fun.

01:19:56.000 Some people got fucked up.

01:19:58.000 There's weapons and everything involved.

01:20:00.000 But what they do is everyone gets locked down.

01:20:04.000 So now wherever you were, and everyone has to get strip searched because they have to do a body check to see if you have any cuts or bruises, see if you were involved.

01:20:12.000 And then everyone gets locked in their housing units once everyone gets strip searched and all that stuff.

01:20:17.000 And then they start going through the video footage.

01:20:19.000 So as they're got the, because they don't know what started, they don't know what's, if it's going to keep going.

01:20:24.000 So every now and then you'll see like people come up and grab like four people out of this unit, two people out of this unit, and they walk them down to the shoot.

01:20:32.000 They're going to the hole because they're getting transferred.

01:20:36.000 And then what sucks about that is like you get like one hot meal a week, but you get like these boxed lunches and shit like that.

01:20:42.000 And then they have to let you out for a shower like once a week.

01:20:46.000 And literally they're like, you got three minutes in the shower.

01:20:49.000 And they're there with their watch.

01:20:50.000 And I watched many people go to the hole with a towel around their waist filled with shampoo in their hair.

01:20:58.000 Three minutes is tons of time.

01:21:00.000 Huh?

01:21:01.000 Armpits, foreskin, butthole, we're done.

01:21:05.000 These dudes sitting in a stink cell with their cellmate on lockdown, pissed off and disgruntled, wanted to push the limits.

01:21:13.000 So they went right to the bucket.

01:21:17.000 Yeah, they don't play.

01:21:18.000 When they tell you, they're going to bring you there.

01:21:19.000 Don't worry, they got a place for you.

01:21:22.000 But yeah, I was not involved in that.

01:21:24.000 I just try to stay out of the politics internally.

01:21:28.000 I don't do drugs in prison.

01:21:29.000 I don't gamble.

01:21:30.000 Yeah, that's what I keep hearing.

01:21:32.000 Just don't do drugs.

01:21:33.000 Don't rip off drug dealers.

01:21:35.000 Don't get involved and you're fine.

01:21:37.000 I had to sign what you call a tough guy sheet.

01:21:38.000 Like when you get in the federal system, like when you're, I don't want to say gang when I was in the club.

01:21:43.000 Because that's in my jacket, you know, I have known enemies, like say another outlaws or the banditos or the pagans or the Mongols.

01:21:52.000 So if there's people from those gangs on the compound, like when you first come in, they'll either put you right in the shoe for what they call captain's review.

01:22:01.000 So then you'll go to the shoe, then we'll put you in population right away, and then they're going to sit down with the captains.

01:22:06.000 You'll be like, you know, you got known enemies, you know.

01:22:08.000 Then you have to basically sign a waiver saying that you understand that you have known enemies on the compound and that the BOP, which is the Bureau of Prisons, is not responsible if you get hurt or killed.

01:22:18.000 They call you tough guys.

01:22:20.000 You have to sign something that says that?

01:22:22.000 To go in the general population.

01:22:23.000 I can die.

01:22:24.000 I can die.

01:22:25.000 And my family can't sue.

01:22:28.000 That's amazing.

01:22:29.000 Because, you know, they're in, what is it?

01:22:30.000 Care, custody, and control.

01:22:32.000 That's their job.

01:22:34.000 Right.

01:22:35.000 So care doesn't involve you.

01:22:37.000 Right, they're saying, listen, you may potentially be killed if we put you here.

01:22:42.000 Do you want to go on here?

01:22:43.000 Knowing that?

01:22:44.000 Yeah.

01:22:46.000 Because you can't go to PC in Punk City.

01:22:48.000 You can't be a, you know, did you ever have pagans or other criminals?

01:22:52.000 Oh, yeah, there was a pagan and an outlaw there.

01:22:54.000 Who were angry at you and said, have we got to fight?

01:22:57.000 No, it took me about three days to track down who they were on the compound.

01:23:02.000 And then, you know, I went up and addressed, you know, and they were like, listen, there's only 94 white guys in this jail.

01:23:10.000 I'm going to have another decent white guy here.

01:23:13.000 You know, all politics aside.

01:23:16.000 Huh.

01:23:17.000 That's what you said.

01:23:19.000 Well, pretty much, you know, inside, what's happening in the streets is happening in the streets.

01:23:25.000 But East Coast and West Coast time is totally different.

01:23:28.000 East Coast time, like, you see bloods and crips walking down the same, talking to each other, like, like nothing's...

01:23:33.000 In the East Coast.

01:23:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:23:35.000 But no politic is hard by race on the East Coast.

01:23:40.000 It's like racially segregated, like divided.

01:23:42.000 Like hard.

01:23:44.000 East Coast is racially segregated.

01:23:46.000 No, no, no.

01:23:46.000 The West Coast is segregated.

01:23:47.000 Oh, West Coast is rigid.

01:23:49.000 Like, you don't mess outside of your race.

01:23:55.000 They're so liberal, but they have the most segregated prisons.

01:23:58.000 Yeah.

01:23:58.000 Well, that's internal.

01:23:59.000 Wouldn't that be funny if that was your crusade as a liberal?

01:24:02.000 We need to get the prisons in the West Coast more diverse.

01:24:06.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:07.000 We need to desegregate them.

01:24:10.000 I want to set up Bloods and the Aryan Nation, a meeting where they can get together and hold hands.

01:24:18.000 There was actually only one.

01:24:19.000 What a soccer game.

01:24:20.000 I think there was one AB guy on my compound, and he actually overdosed on heroin and died.

01:24:28.000 What's an AB guy?

01:24:30.000 Aryan Brotherhood.

01:24:31.000 Oh, AB.

01:24:32.000 Yeah.

01:24:33.000 Like, even though he's all tatted out, they ate all that stuff.

01:24:36.000 But it is what it is.

01:24:38.000 How do you feel, Tim, hearing all this, knowing that you sent thousands of men to prison to live in that hell zone for as little as smoking a marijuana joint or going five miles over the speed limit?

01:24:52.000 Yeah.

01:24:53.000 No.

01:24:54.000 I always hear that statistic that people are in jail for marijuana.

01:24:59.000 No.

01:24:59.000 I don't think there is anybody in jail for a little bit of marijuana.

01:25:02.000 Unless it's like a local county jail and the guy's like a shoplift and he's caught with a joint or something.

01:25:08.000 Yeah, but that's not the case.

01:25:09.000 Nobody's really in punishment.

01:25:09.000 If you're in jail for pot, it's because there was 700 other things we couldn't get you on.

01:25:14.000 It's like Al Capone with tax evasion.

01:25:16.000 Yeah.

01:25:18.000 Listen, you know, when I was doing my thing, I knew the rules.

01:25:25.000 I never held grudges against.

01:25:28.000 Yeah, I think you're a different generation of criminal, though.

01:25:31.000 Like, you guys, you did the crime, you did the time.

01:25:35.000 The new guys are like, this is fucking bullshit.

01:25:38.000 Ow, you're hurting me.

01:25:39.000 Like, that's their job.

01:25:41.000 You know, they're going to break your chops when they pull you.

01:25:43.000 Like, you know what?

01:25:44.000 Like, it is what it is.

01:25:46.000 Don't be mad.

01:25:46.000 You know that bald guy at the bar who's got the weird-shaped head?

01:25:51.000 Our buddy there, ex-cop.

01:25:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who you're talking about.

01:25:55.000 And he was like, he was like, yeah, you know, 20 years ago, I'd be locking Maddie up.

01:26:02.000 Now he's my best friend.

01:26:03.000 Yeah.

01:26:04.000 And I go, yeah, but Maddie knew that he could go to jail for his crimes.

01:26:09.000 Right.

01:26:10.000 And he punched a cop in the face semi-accidentally.

01:26:14.000 Yeah.

01:26:14.000 Hit me with a nightstick from behind.

01:26:16.000 And I know what he did.

01:26:17.000 They handcuffed him to a chair at the station.

01:26:19.000 And when they walk by, they just punch him in the face and tune him up.

01:26:22.000 My ass.

01:26:23.000 And he was like, that's what I signed up for.

01:26:26.000 That was in the 80s?

01:26:27.000 Late 80s.

01:26:28.000 Holy shit.

01:26:30.000 So I love that because it's like there's no paperwork as a taxpayer.

01:26:34.000 I don't have to pay for any of that.

01:26:35.000 That's like almost 35 years ago.

01:26:37.000 34 years ago.

01:26:38.000 Wow.

01:26:40.000 Now you couldn't get away with that.

01:26:42.000 No.

01:26:42.000 I mean, it happens, don't get me wrong.

01:26:44.000 I've seen people come into jails where they've had their fucking ass stomped out.

01:26:49.000 Well, I wanted our friend because Tim Poole keeps getting swatted.

01:26:53.000 I was like, can you come swat us, the Bronx cops, because we're right down the street from the station.

01:27:01.000 And he's like, maybe in 2004, maybe I wouldn't lose my pension and get my life ruined and everything.

01:27:11.000 But there's no fucking way we could joke come to your studio.

01:27:18.000 No fuck.

01:27:19.000 My career would be over.

01:27:21.000 My wife's career would be over.

01:27:22.000 My great-grandchildren would be fucking arrested.

01:27:26.000 Like, no.

01:27:27.000 And then the city would probably sue you for the waste of resources and time and manpower and putting Jesse Smollett on you.

01:27:36.000 He goes, just don't, that fun shit is gone.

01:27:39.000 Yeah.

01:27:40.000 But in Ireland, Jack's brother, when they were all down there, they fucking arrested him, threw him in a paddy wagon, drove him back to the police station all as a gag because his brother was a cop.

01:27:54.000 Yeah, well, he was in the middle of nowhere, Ireland, on some farm.

01:27:58.000 Dublin?

01:27:59.000 No, but this was in Dublin.

01:28:00.000 Oh.

01:28:02.000 So there's still some humor somewhere.

01:28:04.000 I recently came across Mike Ma, the author of Harassment and Gothic Violence, which shed some light on who he is and what you know about him.

01:28:10.000 Scottish Hammer.

01:28:12.000 What?

01:28:13.000 Okay.

01:28:14.000 Thanks, Scottish Hammer, whatever the fuck you're doing.

01:28:16.000 It's Harassment Architecture.

01:28:18.000 Oh, this is a $100.

01:28:20.000 We always read the $100 ones.

01:28:21.000 Veneration of the Housewife.

01:28:23.000 You may be interested in this movie, Eve in Exile, the Restoration of Femininity.

01:28:29.000 It seems to be in line with the Proud Boy's tenet of venerating the housewife.

01:28:33.000 Check out this one-minute-long teaser.

01:28:37.000 Okay, and thank you for spelling tenant right and not writing tenant.

01:28:42.000 Appreciate that.

01:28:43.000 Joam?

01:28:45.000 Joe Mama.

01:28:46.000 The worst part about multiculturalism is the fucking names.

01:28:50.000 Well, it's Joe Mama.

01:28:51.000 Oh.

01:28:52.000 Yes.

01:28:53.000 So that's.

01:28:56.000 You know, my son, Johnny, at boxing, back during the pandemic, everyone had to sign their names.

01:29:02.000 And he wrote his name as Joe Mama.

01:29:06.000 And the owner of the gym came up to me.

01:29:08.000 He's like, dude, your son wrote Joe Mama.

01:29:12.000 And I was like, that's funny.

01:29:14.000 And he goes, well, it's kind of disrespectful.

01:29:18.000 Oh, come now.

01:29:19.000 In the gym.

01:29:20.000 I mean, you're trying to show respect to your teacher's son manners and stuff.

01:29:24.000 And I was like, yeah, that's a good point.

01:29:26.000 No, no, it's funny.

01:29:29.000 I don't know.

01:29:30.000 You're not a priest.

01:29:34.000 What system?

01:29:36.000 Can you provide a definition for the word woman?

01:29:39.000 I can't.

01:29:40.000 I'm not a biologist.

01:29:41.000 Our culture is a diverse.

01:29:42.000 Someone who wants to suck my dick.

01:29:47.000 That's actually probably mostly dudes.

01:29:50.000 You just want there to be no rules, no lines, no definitions.

01:29:53.000 As a woman, what is that?

01:29:55.000 What's to each their own?

01:29:58.000 Yeah, women teach their own.

01:30:01.000 We're Christian women, and we want to live in the way God told us to.

01:30:05.000 But we're looking out over this current playing field and wondering where on earth we are supposed to stand.

01:30:10.000 Okay, can you just pause it for a sec?

01:30:12.000 This is what I'm talking about.

01:30:14.000 Like, isn't it good that there was a leak about Roe v.

01:30:17.000 Wade?

01:30:18.000 Wouldn't that get pro-life women psyched and eager to vote for the Republicans to help push this?

01:30:26.000 Because the thing I keep saying about the pro-choicers is they used to be more subtle and say, what if you're raped by your dad and all that?

01:30:34.000 Now they're just like, fuck it.

01:30:35.000 I love it.

01:30:37.000 I love killing them.

01:30:38.000 I get horny when they die.

01:30:42.000 Kill them all.

01:30:43.000 How about killing them 10 months after they're born?

01:30:46.000 What about 51 years after they're born?

01:30:49.000 Why does my mom kill me?

01:30:51.000 She regrets it now.

01:30:54.000 Sorry, go back.

01:30:59.000 Our daughters are Born into the ruins of what used to be a Christian nation, and we are raising them in the wreckage of the West.

01:31:08.000 What does obedience look like in this madhouse?

01:31:22.000 That's a great quote.

01:31:23.000 What does obedience look like in this madhouse?

01:31:26.000 Hmm, hmm.

01:31:28.000 Very eloquent.

01:31:29.000 That looks cool.

01:31:30.000 Thanks for the plug.

01:31:32.000 We got a call.

01:31:33.000 Okay, we haven't had calls in a minute.

01:31:35.000 904, you're on the line.

01:31:37.000 Go ahead, call it.

01:31:40.000 Hey, what's up?

01:31:42.000 Hey, man.

01:31:43.000 Happy Cinco de Mayo.

01:31:44.000 Yeah.

01:31:45.000 Cinco de Mayo.

01:31:46.000 What the fuck is Cinco de Mayo?

01:31:48.000 Mexico took back Mexico from the Spanish for like an hour?

01:31:55.000 I don't know, Holmes.

01:31:56.000 I just drink the Coramos.

01:31:58.000 Okay, man.

01:31:59.000 Well, it's a bullshit holiday, essay.

01:32:04.000 What's going on?

01:32:05.000 I had a epiphany about the boxer.

01:32:12.000 What's his name?

01:32:13.000 Larry Bonds.

01:32:14.000 Larry Bonds.

01:32:16.000 He sees himself as the guy giving the speech, the retired champ, training the next generation.

01:32:26.000 That's why he connects with that speech so much.

01:32:29.000 Oh.

01:32:30.000 You said you knew Mike Tyson.

01:32:31.000 No, I did not.

01:32:32.000 I said I was on a presser with him once in Atlantic City.

01:32:35.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:32:36.000 That's probably why that movie stuck with him with such adeasive clarity.

01:32:42.000 Because it was his life.

01:32:45.000 Damn.

01:32:45.000 Because that's what you are as a boxer.

01:32:47.000 Like, he was at Madison Square Garden regularly.

01:32:50.000 He was in the Coliseum.

01:32:51.000 There was 80,000, 100,000 people watching him fight.

01:32:55.000 He fought Trinidad for the Belt, right?

01:32:57.000 Yep.

01:32:58.000 Yeah.

01:32:58.000 Yep.

01:32:59.000 But he told me about Susan Sarandon and Michael Douglas and Jack Nicholson, all these people coming up to him.

01:33:06.000 They all knew him back then.

01:33:08.000 So he was a gladiator.

01:33:10.000 Yeah, then that guy wasn't just a gladiator.

01:33:13.000 He was a retired gladiator who made it out and was now training other gladiators to fight like Larry's doing now.

01:33:23.000 Yeah, great theory, dude.

01:33:26.000 All right.

01:33:26.000 Thanks for coming.

01:33:27.000 One more thing, please.

01:33:28.000 Please, please.

01:33:28.000 Sorry, but my son is having open heart surgery.

01:33:31.000 Home to mommy.

01:33:32.000 My son is having open heart surgery.

01:33:35.000 What?

01:33:36.000 Dude, if you're lying, you're going to have to.

01:33:37.000 He's going to be born in a couple months.

01:33:39.000 He's going to have open heart surgery.

01:33:40.000 Just pray for him.

01:33:42.000 Thank you.

01:33:42.000 We are praying for him.

01:33:44.000 Okay.

01:33:44.000 We're going to pray for you.

01:33:45.000 We're going to assume that's true.

01:33:47.000 Why wouldn't you start with that?

01:33:49.000 That's interesting.

01:33:52.000 You're born with open heart surgery?

01:33:55.000 Yeah.

01:33:55.000 Oh, I don't know what the condition is, but I had a cousin who was born with a hole in her heart.

01:33:59.000 Like, she had massive amounts of surgery before she was, like, one or two.

01:34:02.000 Whoa.

01:34:03.000 Jesus.

01:34:04.000 I don't think I could handle the idea of that.

01:34:08.000 How about some reverence for that?

01:34:09.000 Wow.

01:34:09.000 You know, have I told you this story before?

01:34:11.000 I'm in Israel.

01:34:13.000 I'm talking to a Christian Arab.

01:34:16.000 He's our tour guide.

01:34:17.000 Because our Israeli tour guide could only do Israel.

01:34:20.000 When we went to the Palestinian side, they're not allowed over there.

01:34:24.000 So we had to get Christians.

01:34:25.000 But the way Christians see Jews over there is the same way Arabs, I mean, Muslims do, which is fuck the Jews.

01:34:33.000 So he was not cool about the wall.

01:34:39.000 And, okay, whatever.

01:34:42.000 But the whaling wall?

01:34:43.000 What?

01:34:44.000 The whaling wall?

01:34:44.000 No, no, the wall that separated.

01:34:46.000 They have a Trump wall.

01:34:48.000 It's fucking awesome.

01:34:50.000 And near, like, Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, it's, you know, 50 meters high.

01:34:56.000 But, you know, for the rest of Israel, it's a smart fence where you touch it and someone's there in a minute.

01:35:02.000 It's what we need.

01:35:03.000 It's exactly what we need.

01:35:05.000 But anyway, he's showing me, we're having lunch after the tour, and he's showing me pictures of his daughter and very cute kid.

01:35:15.000 She's like two, whatever.

01:35:17.000 But some of the pictures, she's got tubes up her nose.

01:35:20.000 And I'm like, oh, what's going on there?

01:35:21.000 And she goes, oh, she had heart surgery.

01:35:24.000 She had a heart transplant when she was one.

01:35:26.000 Or I don't know if it's a heart transplant, but a valve replaced or something.

01:35:29.000 And I'm like, hmm.

01:35:31.000 So a tour guide in the Middle East is probably middle class.

01:35:36.000 So let's say it's the American equivalent of 50 grand a year, 60 grand a year.

01:35:41.000 Your sick daughter gets to go to Israel and get the top medicine in the world.

01:35:48.000 Can you fucking imagine operating on a two-year-old's heart?

01:35:52.000 No, not me personally.

01:35:53.000 What the fuck is...

01:35:54.000 You're opening the little ribs up.

01:35:57.000 Yeah.

01:35:58.000 You're getting in there with a little heart that's probably this, it's the size of a fucking die.

01:36:04.000 And you're just replacing a valve there.

01:36:07.000 And his attitude was like, fuck the Israelis.

01:36:10.000 I don't know, they saved your daughter's life.

01:36:13.000 Maybe say thanks, shithead.

01:36:15.000 And that's indicative of the whole world's view of the West.

01:36:19.000 You know?

01:36:20.000 They hate us.

01:36:21.000 We were colonists.

01:36:22.000 And they love using our fucking cell phones and inventions.

01:36:26.000 Anyway, here's a few ideas.

01:36:27.000 Plan Parenthood hands out free birth control.

01:36:30.000 Plan B, pill at drugstore.

01:36:31.000 Close your legs.

01:36:34.000 Yeah.

01:36:35.000 But sure.

01:36:38.000 I love how their whole thing is like, we're going to go on a sex strike.

01:36:44.000 We're not going to fuck you anymore until you're married.

01:36:47.000 And as conservatives, we're like, yeah.

01:36:50.000 That's what we were going for.

01:36:52.000 Stop being a fucking whore.

01:36:55.000 And dude, stop jizzing in chicks.

01:36:57.000 If there was repercussions, I think there'd be a lot less guys going, all right, let's take a call.

01:37:04.000 The $5 ones can just sit up there.

01:37:05.000 You can read them.

01:37:08.000 Or a call thing has an issue.

01:37:13.000 So we might want to go to these.

01:37:15.000 What's going on?

01:37:16.000 Our call-in thing has an issue.

01:37:18.000 Hold on one second.

01:37:19.000 Okay, well, let's go to the mailbag then.

01:37:21.000 This is an amazing pick, and I want to feature it.

01:37:25.000 A guy named Chris sent this in.

01:37:27.000 He goes, this might be one of the most craziest picks I've ever Seen.

01:37:31.000 Hey, stunning and brave Gavin and BIPOC Ryan.

01:37:34.000 Check out this incredibly sane ally, spelled wrong, of the black struggle.

01:37:40.000 I think if we were all as brave as this person, we could end racism overnight.

01:37:46.000 Uhuru.

01:37:48.000 What the fuck is going on?

01:37:53.000 Kill the phone number for a second, Ryan.

01:37:56.000 That's a dummy he made.

01:37:59.000 And if you look closely, you can see there's a pole up his ass.

01:38:03.000 Yeah, but by the light.

01:38:05.000 His black friend is made from newspapers and garbage bags.

01:38:14.000 And then he's bought, like, everything is on Amazon here.

01:38:18.000 And he bought some black babies to hold on to.

01:38:22.000 What the fuck is going on?

01:38:26.000 Wait, what's the Q thing?

01:38:28.000 Is that the QAnon logo?

01:38:30.000 I don't know.

01:38:32.000 Is this a joke now?

01:38:34.000 I don't know.

01:38:36.000 This is the problem with divorced men.

01:38:39.000 They're starving.

01:38:40.000 They're alone, they're bored, they come up with funny ideas.

01:38:44.000 They have too much money, and they just start fucking blowing it on Amazon bullshit.

01:38:49.000 I can't tell if this is a parody or not.

01:38:54.000 Now I've got to look up the QAnon logo.

01:38:56.000 Alright, let's take another call.

01:38:58.000 Oh, still working on it.

01:38:59.000 Oh, shit.

01:39:00.000 Sorry.

01:39:02.000 8-7, the Mets are still winning.

01:39:06.000 Q-Anon Spade logo.

01:39:13.000 QAnon bullet.

01:39:16.000 The QAnon bullet is a logo that includes a QAnon logo and a spade.

01:39:20.000 Some people have mistakenly called this the Queen of Spades Anon, which is not.

01:39:24.000 The spade is supposed to be an ace of spades, referred to as a death card.

01:39:30.000 Oh.

01:39:30.000 QAnon bullet is worn by someone considered elite in the QAnon movement.

01:39:35.000 What the fuck is going on here?

01:39:37.000 I don't even...

01:39:40.000 I think he's making fun of the left, actually.

01:39:43.000 Because he's making himself pregnant.

01:39:49.000 What a messy joke.

01:39:51.000 Yeah.

01:39:54.000 All right, another letter.

01:39:55.000 This is a lull in the show, Ryan.

01:39:58.000 You're killing the whole momentum.

01:40:02.000 Everyone's seen this, right?

01:40:03.000 MSNBC anchor bussed driving three hours to meet a little boy for sex.

01:40:11.000 Now, we don't know the whole story.

01:40:13.000 A lot of the time, these young boys will wear red leather short shorts and look super hot in their outfits.

01:40:19.000 And the guy will just...

01:40:22.000 This guy's defense.

01:40:24.000 Hey, yeah.

01:40:25.000 This guy's defense was he was going to meet the boy to tell him to get off of these apps.

01:40:32.000 Yeah.

01:40:33.000 But he had a six-pack box of condoms in the blue.

01:40:37.000 Yes.

01:40:38.000 In case he met an adult male on the way there or back.

01:40:43.000 Did he cross state lines?

01:40:45.000 He did cross state lines, which is okay.

01:40:49.000 Just to fuck kids.

01:40:51.000 Crossing state lines is only bad if you have a gun.

01:40:55.000 But at one point I noticed in this video he goes, why are you harassing gay men?

01:41:00.000 Because you want to have sex with a fucking child.

01:41:02.000 I hope this works.

01:41:04.000 And they're like, it's nothing to do with you being gay.

01:41:07.000 And you could tell he immediately goes, yeah, I'm not going to pursue that.

01:41:10.000 What's up, man?

01:41:12.000 Zach, right?

01:41:12.000 What you thought was going to happen?

01:41:14.000 You know where the golf stuff's at?

01:41:16.000 Let's have a talk before we get the cat logs.

01:41:18.000 You know what?

01:41:19.000 That's okay.

01:41:19.000 Because here's the thing.

01:41:20.000 I wasn't looking to meet him.

01:41:22.000 Yeah, that's not what the chat log said.

01:41:24.000 All right, well, let's have a talk before we get the cops.

01:41:26.000 If we leave this, it's going to be a lot worse.

01:41:28.000 Come on.

01:41:32.000 He's not an MSNBC contributor.

01:41:35.000 He's an anchor.

01:41:36.000 All right, we want you to preview case.

01:41:38.000 All right.

01:41:39.000 Listen.

01:41:40.000 I'm a poster, man.

01:41:41.000 Sick individual.

01:41:45.000 If you Google him in all this video.

01:41:50.000 You have no fucking purpose to be there.

01:41:56.000 Other than to meet the child you've been sexting with.

01:42:04.000 I'm going to film you.

01:42:08.000 I got you.

01:42:09.000 Yeah, but I'm going to film you going to jail.

01:42:13.000 I'm going to film you being mean to pedophiles.

01:42:16.000 That's going to ruin your career.

01:42:20.000 Maybe in about five years it would.

01:42:23.000 Yeah.

01:42:25.000 Let's figure that out.

01:42:25.000 No, no, no.

01:42:26.000 Let's chip that out.

01:42:27.000 First of all, you guys were on an athlete.

01:42:29.000 Hold your kids 18 years and older.

01:42:31.000 I thought the kid was 18.

01:42:32.000 I wasn't looking.

01:42:34.000 You knew he wasn't 18.

01:42:36.000 You might be a good talker.

01:42:37.000 Not this time.

01:42:38.000 I was here to hang.

01:42:42.000 I gotta go.

01:42:43.000 You don't have to go.

01:42:44.000 You got all the time in the world.

01:42:45.000 You were gonna go watch movies.

01:42:47.000 No, I was not, actually.

01:42:48.000 If I was a 12-year-old, I don't want to fuck anyone, including adults, but that's the last adult I want to fuck.

01:42:56.000 I want maybe to fuck Farah Fawcett, or at least try to.

01:43:01.000 I don't advocate that.

01:43:02.000 Sorry.

01:43:03.000 Bad jump.

01:43:04.000 And he'll get like probation.

01:43:07.000 He'll get nothing.

01:43:08.000 Yeah.

01:43:09.000 He'll be fine.

01:43:11.000 We got calls.

01:43:12.000 Okay, we're back with the calls.

01:43:14.000 B with the C's.

01:43:15.000 847, you're on the line.

01:43:18.000 Go ahead, call.

01:43:19.000 Wow.

01:43:21.000 Hello.

01:43:22.000 Hello.

01:43:24.000 I like your new sunglasses.

01:43:27.000 I like your new sunglasses, too.

01:43:31.000 Bag.

01:43:33.000 So, oh, wait.

01:43:34.000 So, you know that her name's Kentagi Jackson Brown, right?

01:43:39.000 That attorney?

01:43:40.000 The pro pedophile Supreme Court judge?

01:43:43.000 Yes.

01:43:44.000 Did you know she was the one who oversaw that whole Comet Pizza thing?

01:43:50.000 Really?

01:43:52.000 Yeah.

01:43:53.000 No, I didn't know it.

01:43:55.000 What was Case?

01:43:56.000 I couldn't hear him.

01:43:57.000 Remember Comet Pizza?

01:43:58.000 The whole rumor that they had to kill.

01:44:01.000 They were fucking kids, and then they said, They're fucking them in the basement.

01:44:04.000 Then the defense was there's no basement.

01:44:06.000 And you're like, Okay, so I got the room wrong.

01:44:11.000 Not really a get out of jail free card.

01:44:14.000 The whole thing is very fishy, but uh, she so she oversaw that, and there the guy, some random guy went there, like a independent investigator, citizen, with an AR-15 and fired one round,

01:44:33.000 and the round hit the hard drive of their computer.

01:44:37.000 And then she was overseeing that case.

01:44:40.000 He got four years, I just saw.

01:44:43.000 Yeah, he went there to allegedly save the children from the basement.

01:44:47.000 His bullet, his one bullet hit the hard drive.

01:44:50.000 It must have been a crazy JFK magic bullet to go through.

01:44:54.000 Let me tell you something.

01:44:56.000 Just because you shot a fucking hard drive does not fucking mean this.

01:45:01.000 I've seen people cut hard drives in half and they fucking taped them back together and got the information off them.

01:45:09.000 Really?

01:45:10.000 Forensic fucking...

01:45:12.000 Yeah.

01:45:12.000 They can take that story, stick it up their ass.

01:45:15.000 That bullet is not stopping them from getting fucking information off the hard drive.

01:45:21.000 And then the owner of the place, so I guess basically what I'm saying, do you think there's a little more validity to the whole Pizzagate thing?

01:45:30.000 If that's true?

01:45:31.000 Because I don't know.

01:45:34.000 I'd love to fucking know.

01:45:35.000 As a citizen, as someone with kids, I'd really like to know if elites are fucking kids.

01:45:42.000 I'd really love it if the fucking media could do their jobs.

01:45:47.000 But I have no idea if Pizzagate is bullshit or not.

01:45:51.000 I have no idea what's going on with these giant trucks of kids where they're trafficking fucking sex slaves for all we know.

01:45:59.000 I have no idea what's going on with MS-13 and El Chapo bringing kids across the border.

01:46:04.000 These fake siblings, these fake offspring, these fake kin of illegal aliens that come across the border and they're like, oh, that's my son.

01:46:14.000 Oh, really?

01:46:14.000 Why doesn't your DNA match up?

01:46:16.000 Where the fuck?

01:46:18.000 And law enforcement, too.

01:46:19.000 Law enforcement is also culpable for this.

01:46:22.000 Why don't we know what's going on with these illegal aliens and the kids involved at the border?

01:46:29.000 We don't know that because we're totally focused on the meandering, someone being racist, conservatives having a skeleton in their closet where some dude in a wheelchair joke fucked his friend.

01:46:43.000 What?

01:46:44.000 That's their focus.

01:46:46.000 They're not concerned about child rape.

01:46:49.000 I am.

01:46:49.000 Call me old-fashioned.

01:46:52.000 Well, I would say that's because they're in someone's pocket.

01:46:57.000 The media is definitely in someone's pocket, and the police's fucking bosses are in someone's pocket as well.

01:47:04.000 That's why these things don't get looked into.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, well, my other problem is I don't think they're getting paid.

01:47:11.000 I think the media is so naive that they're happily doing the bidding of the DNC and acting as a PR firm for zero money or zero anything.

01:47:23.000 At least these Soros DAs get money.

01:47:26.000 I don't think these retarded journalists you see fighting extremism on the right are getting a sense.

01:47:33.000 No, no, no, no.

01:47:34.000 No, no, they're just, they're puppets.

01:47:36.000 Like, those people are, yeah, they're just running with the wind.

01:47:42.000 They're not actually thinking the puppets.

01:47:44.000 Dude, your phone connection sounds like you're in a pile of dirty laundry.

01:47:50.000 Really?

01:47:50.000 It does sound soggy and stinky.

01:47:52.000 Are you in an orange?

01:47:56.000 Are you James from the Giant Peach fame?

01:47:59.000 Thanks for calling.

01:48:00.000 What'd you say, Ryan?

01:48:01.000 Jane?

01:48:02.000 James and the Giant Peach.

01:48:03.000 Oh, okay.

01:48:04.000 I thought you thought it was Jane and the Giant Peach.

01:48:07.000 No.

01:48:08.000 You saw that.

01:48:08.000 They'll probably do it, though.

01:48:10.000 Yeah, well, maybe James is now James.

01:48:12.000 It'll be Josiah and the Giant Peach.

01:48:14.000 They actually transitioned.

01:48:15.000 The Peach is now...

01:48:16.000 Oh, good news.

01:48:17.000 We've got a question for Tim.

01:48:19.000 The Peach is a plum now.

01:48:21.000 Tim, is policing a viable career still for guys who actually want to do real cop stuff?

01:48:27.000 Awesome.

01:48:28.000 I'll answer that.

01:48:30.000 Tim had a horrible career.

01:48:32.000 His life is miserable.

01:48:34.000 And he doesn't want anyone to pursue it, especially canines, because a lot of the dogs are dicks and they're very hard to work with.

01:48:42.000 And the bomb shit is very dangerous.

01:48:44.000 You can blow your face off.

01:48:46.000 So he deeply regrets doing anything with bomb stuff, and he fucking hates dogs.

01:48:51.000 Right, Tim?

01:48:52.000 Yep.

01:48:57.000 No, but seriously, would you want your son to pursue your career?

01:49:00.000 I wouldn't.

01:49:01.000 But when I came on the job, everybody said, kid, you missed the good old days.

01:49:07.000 It's not what it used to be.

01:49:09.000 And I don't want to be the same guy.

01:49:11.000 It has changed, and it's going to constantly change every 20 years or so.

01:49:16.000 So I would say, yeah, it is still a viable career.

01:49:20.000 If it's something you want to do and you're interested in.

01:49:24.000 The body cameras, I think they're terrible.

01:49:28.000 I think they need to go away.

01:49:30.000 That kind of scared me away.

01:49:32.000 I didn't wear one much because I wasn't on patrol the last almost 10 years of my career.

01:49:37.000 But I just think you second guess everything you do when you're worried about somebody looking at you and saying something.

01:49:45.000 Not just looking at you.

01:49:46.000 Come into your house.

01:49:47.000 Remember Derek Chauvin?

01:49:49.000 Like, they came to his house.

01:49:50.000 They wanted to kill his family.

01:49:52.000 Yeah.

01:49:53.000 So you see a black dude and he's acting like a lunatic and you're like, if I kill this guy and I'm wrong, my kids are dead.

01:50:00.000 I was more worried about stupid shit I would say.

01:50:03.000 Because you can't talk to somebody the way the job wants you to.

01:50:07.000 Some people don't understand that kind of language.

01:50:09.000 You have to talk to them in their language.

01:50:12.000 And sometimes it's not safe for work type language.

01:50:16.000 And if you're worried about every little word you say and you're worried about getting in trouble, you're going to get yourself hurt or somebody else hurt.

01:50:24.000 I don't like it.

01:50:26.000 I don't really mind the camera.

01:50:27.000 I don't like the audio personally.

01:50:30.000 Oh, I see.

01:50:31.000 Well, the worst part about the cameras, too, is the two seconds you see.

01:50:36.000 Yeah.

01:50:36.000 Like you just see a black 13-year-old getting punched in the face by a giant white dude.

01:50:42.000 Yeah, remember the case with the, it was an older black cop, and he was down at a Waffle House fighting a kid in a tuxedo that was like a prom night.

01:50:50.000 Oh, man.

01:50:51.000 You remember that?

01:50:52.000 And it was just like, if the cop wins the fight, it looks like he's beating somebody up.

01:50:58.000 You know what I mean?

01:50:59.000 You can't even win the fight, even though he's trying to place the guy under arrest.

01:51:03.000 And he's like, because he's a high school kid, he's fighting a cop.

01:51:10.000 He's legally trying to place that guy under arrest.

01:51:13.000 You can't fight a cop.

01:51:14.000 That's called resisting.

01:51:15.000 Yeah.

01:51:16.000 But it just looks bad.

01:51:17.000 And people just say, oh, my God, he was a high school student.

01:51:20.000 And I think the kid was gay.

01:51:22.000 But just put your hands behind your back and let him.

01:51:26.000 I love the narrative, too, that the cop sees a gay black kid and he's like, well, looky here, boy.

01:51:32.000 Well, the cop was black, too, so it wasn't even a racial thing.

01:51:35.000 It was just him bullying this, I guess, gay high school kid.

01:51:38.000 The kid was, you know, he needed to get locked up.

01:51:41.000 How do you feel about liberal cops?

01:51:44.000 I don't know a lot of them.

01:51:45.000 On my job, there was a few, I can think of one female liberal cop.

01:51:50.000 I think she was just a rank and file liberal.

01:51:54.000 I think she really believed that she was doing the right thing for the...

01:51:59.000 I don't think she thinks conservatives were evil or anything like that.

01:52:02.000 I think she just thought that Democrats and she was fighting for the downtrodden and the poor.

01:52:11.000 I don't know.

01:52:12.000 I don't know a lot of liberal cops.

01:52:13.000 I was a New York City cop for a few years.

01:52:16.000 Politics didn't really come up in the 90s that much.

01:52:19.000 We didn't really discuss.

01:52:20.000 So as troopers, you don't see a lot of liberals, but a few females.

01:52:26.000 A lot of black cops are liberals.

01:52:28.000 I'll send you a write-up, Ryan, of a guy.

01:52:33.000 I was looking at his page today on Twitter, and I was just like...

01:52:38.000 The only thing I could come up with is spite.

01:52:42.000 Like, I don't know.

01:52:44.000 He's a cop and everything, but he just hates white people.

01:52:47.000 All right, well, that's the only thing that's...

01:52:49.000 I think what I'm just trying to say is that they're not leftists.

01:52:53.000 They just tend to be a little more liberal because they think they're helping the poor.

01:52:58.000 As I said on social media today, sober Scots, straight flight attendants, and liberal cops make me very uncomfortable.

01:53:06.000 Look at this guy.

01:53:07.000 Joe is your president is his name.

01:53:12.000 And he's all pro-Biden tweets he's a cop.

01:53:15.000 Joel's.

01:53:17.000 No, he's...

01:53:18.000 Joe, that's a capital I, Ryan.

01:53:20.000 Joe, oh.

01:53:20.000 Joe, I'm this.

01:53:22.000 I know what you mean, though.

01:53:22.000 He should have used the lowercase I. Joe, yeah.

01:53:26.000 But isn't that weird?

01:53:27.000 I told you about my son's friend.

01:53:30.000 My youngest boy's buddy is black and his dad's a cop.

01:53:34.000 And I said, oh, you're a cop.

01:53:35.000 Great.

01:53:36.000 We're in fucking Liberalville.

01:53:40.000 I love cops and I love beer.

01:53:42.000 Let's grab a beer.

01:53:43.000 And he's like, I don't like cops and I don't drink.

01:53:47.000 Okay.

01:53:49.000 You don't like cops.

01:53:54.000 Are you a chicken who loves Colonel Sanders, too?

01:53:58.000 We've got 614 James on the line.

01:54:00.000 How are we doing for live chats?

01:54:02.000 Have we neglected those?

01:54:04.000 A little.

01:54:05.000 Okay.

01:54:06.000 We've got five minutes left.

01:54:07.000 You're on the line, sir.

01:54:08.000 You might have to say you're on the line.

01:54:10.000 You're on the line.

01:54:12.000 Hello?

01:54:13.000 Hello.

01:54:15.000 Hello.

01:54:16.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:54:17.000 Yeah.

01:54:18.000 Hey, sorry.

01:54:19.000 Yeah, I'm calling from Australia, so hopefully the line's all right.

01:54:22.000 What is it?

01:54:22.000 11 a.m. there?

01:54:26.000 At 12.54 in Sydney.

01:54:29.000 So what's tomorrow?

01:54:33.000 It's pretty sunny.

01:54:34.000 It's just busy at work.

01:54:35.000 Is there going to be a world war?

01:54:37.000 You're in the future.

01:54:38.000 No.

01:54:40.000 Lottery numbers?

01:54:41.000 No, but isn't the share market getting a massive hit today?

01:54:45.000 I think that's the thing that I'm looking at right now.

01:54:47.000 The share market?

01:54:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:54:50.000 Tell us about the stock market.

01:54:51.000 Maybe we can bet against it if you're in the future.

01:54:54.000 What's happening to the Dow Jones?

01:54:56.000 Should I buy gold?

01:54:58.000 It's like $60 billion getting knocked off Wall Street or something like that.

01:55:01.000 So everybody's jittery in Australia.

01:55:04.000 Okay.

01:55:05.000 What can I do for Aussie?

01:55:08.000 Mate, it's actually just a question to Ryan.

01:55:10.000 So I'm a huge fan of your impressions, mate.

01:55:14.000 And it's like a really, really special skill to have.

01:55:18.000 And I can see that there are certain impressions that you do where I feel like you could just do it all day.

01:55:22.000 Like when you do Jesse and you're talking about ice cream soup and all that kind of stuff, it feels like you could slip into that all day.

01:55:30.000 So I just wanted to ask Ryan, what's your favorite impression?

01:55:33.000 Which one could you do for like a week straight?

01:55:36.000 I also love your West African guy, like the Ikebupu.

01:55:40.000 So yeah, just a question to Ryan.

01:55:43.000 I think, yeah, Jesse Lee Peterson and Derek from More Plates, More Dates.

01:55:50.000 I do that around the house.

01:55:51.000 But nobody knows who he is in this circle, so it's hard.

01:55:56.000 But yeah, you can fucking do Derek.

01:55:58.000 More plates, more dates.

01:55:59.000 Fucking all fucking D. He's Canadian.

01:56:02.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:56:04.000 In the future, if you have any calls that are complimenting Ryan, we're not taking them.

01:56:09.000 That is terrible.

01:56:12.000 Isn't that me?

01:56:13.000 Why do you eat the poo-poo?

01:56:15.000 You eat the poo-poo.

01:56:17.000 I heard on In Hot Water on Gina Bisconti's show on Compound Media, they had a guy call in his Elon Musk, but the guy didn't realize that South Africa and Normal Africa is a different accent.

01:56:31.000 So he's like, hello, I am Elon Musk.

01:56:35.000 I want to talk to you about buying Twitter.

01:56:40.000 I guess he's never listened to Elon talk.

01:56:42.000 Yeah.

01:56:43.000 Elon has a very subtle South African accent that is not eating the poo-poo.

01:56:51.000 Why did Anthony spend so much time on that troll caller from the day before?

01:56:54.000 I've never seen you check your phone in boredom.

01:56:56.000 I think you did during that segment.

01:56:58.000 I was trying to find a clip.

01:57:00.000 I'm checking my phone on that show.

01:57:02.000 I'm trying to find a clip to send to Garrett.

01:57:04.000 But yeah, the guy's a fucking loser.

01:57:09.000 I don't know.

01:57:11.000 Anthony Kumia and Jim Goat are older than me, not by much.

01:57:15.000 But when those trolls come on, they get more mad than me.

01:57:20.000 And I think it's a generational thing.

01:57:22.000 Because I think they're more used to being able to punch someone in the face when someone talks shit.

01:57:28.000 And when they can, it's frustrating.

01:57:30.000 For Gen X and millennials, we're more like, we've been through the rage of wanting to strangle the person you can't see, but now we're over it.

01:57:43.000 So, yeah, I don't waste time on shit like that.

01:57:47.000 But I thought it was pretty cool that Anthony got the guy, found him, and saw that he was exactly what he was accusing Anthony of, which is a fucking loser with nothing going on.

01:57:58.000 That's always the way it is with these critics.

01:58:02.000 Who was that, Opie?

01:58:05.000 Oh, shit.

01:58:06.000 Shots fired.

01:58:08.000 Use your face on social media.

01:58:10.000 Use your name.

01:58:12.000 Or you're not really on social media.

01:58:14.000 Katie's on the line.

01:58:16.000 Hello?

01:58:17.000 Hello there.

01:58:21.000 619.

01:58:22.000 Hello?

01:58:25.000 Hello?

01:58:26.000 Hey, what's going on?

01:58:27.000 Hi, Katie.

01:58:29.000 Hi.

01:58:33.000 Well, I wanted to talk about how these puberty blockers that they're giving to kids are worse than I think people are really realizing.

01:58:44.000 I went to high school with one of these kids that had taken them.

01:58:53.000 So, like, the whole trans kid thing got really bad my last two years of high school.

01:58:58.000 Luckily, I graduated in 2019, so no more of that bullshit.

01:59:04.000 But one of them was a 14-year-old female about to start taking testosterone after going on puberty blockers at age 10 or 11, something like that,

01:59:20.000 I believe.

01:59:22.000 It's fucking criminal.

01:59:24.000 So, yeah, it's the same chemical that they're giving to pedophiles to castrate them, but when you give it to a child, literally what you're doing is completely stopping all normal childhood development,

01:59:39.000 including brain development, height, you know, things like that.

01:59:44.000 So, like, this kid is like technically 14 or 15, technically the age of like high schoolers, but is, you know, like way under five foot,

02:00:00.000 like maybe, maybe five, seven at best, or four, seven, excuse me, at best.

02:00:05.000 So, like, and all completely like a 10-year-old in all other aspects, like mannerism, you know, speech patterns, like, it's, it's completely, you're completely stopping the normal development that you go through through puberty,

02:00:23.000 like, completely.

02:00:24.000 There's nothing else.

02:00:25.000 Isn't it also weird how you're preserving the childhood of a potential victim?

02:00:34.000 Oh, yeah.

02:00:35.000 I mean, Michael Jackson didn't want your voice to break.

02:00:38.000 He didn't want you to grow pubes.

02:00:40.000 He wanted to fuck you when you were still a kid.

02:00:43.000 I just don't want to.

02:00:43.000 So if you're a pedophile, you don't want young men to go through puberty.

02:00:48.000 You want them to stay as little publess kids so you can keep fucking them.

02:00:54.000 I can't see why that's not considered.

02:00:56.000 What they're doing to people is you're essentially manufacturing a retard.

02:01:01.000 Like, it's like it's the type of autism that is where you're developmentally younger than you actually are.

02:01:13.000 That's what they're doing to people.

02:01:15.000 It's like you're creating it artificially with medication.

02:01:23.000 They're permanently infertile after that medication.

02:01:27.000 It's chemical castration drugs, and it permanently alters them.

02:01:35.000 And you're radical if you have a problem with that.

02:01:37.000 All right, thanks for calling.

02:01:39.000 We've got to wrap it up here, folks.

02:01:40.000 Thank you.

02:01:42.000 Kind of a bummer note to go out on.

02:01:45.000 But it's a bummer subject.

02:01:47.000 Living in bummer towns.

02:01:48.000 Don't get it.

02:01:50.000 But we might be getting back to a semblance.

02:01:54.000 I'll never be back on Twitter.

02:01:56.000 A Twitter insider made that very clear to me that no.

02:01:59.000 You and Antifa.

02:02:00.000 You have to try it.

02:02:01.000 Proud Boys and Antifa are out.

02:02:03.000 I will.

02:02:04.000 But I think the majority of conservatives might get back on, and I'm optimistic about the pendulum swinging back because these fucking loonies have really peeled back the curtain.

02:02:16.000 And they really got lazy with it.

02:02:18.000 I think they're spoiled.

02:02:20.000 They're so used to getting their way that look at those trans teachers on Libs of TikTok where they go, my classroom is like the gayest fucking place on earth.

02:02:33.000 Well, you've clearly been winning too long.

02:02:35.000 Imagine a fucking white nationalist going, my kindergarten classroom is the most racist place on earth.

02:02:42.000 He'd clearly be in the driving seat too long.

02:02:45.000 And so I think that the driving seat's about to change.

02:02:48.000 The midterms will be a big deal.

02:02:50.000 I'm not as alarmed by this abortion leak as everyone else is.

02:02:54.000 I kind of think I could argue that it's good.

02:02:57.000 But of course, the big question is 2024.

02:03:00.000 I mean, the only thing alarming about that is that it actually was leaked.

02:03:04.000 I mean, it is the highest court in the country.

02:03:06.000 There's Democrats everywhere.

02:03:09.000 I mean, it came down to like 60 people had access to that file.

02:03:13.000 Chief Justice Roberts says he's calling in the Marshal.

02:03:15.000 He's going to do a thorough investigation.

02:03:17.000 Ooh.

02:03:19.000 We want to blast through these champs.

02:03:21.000 We've got about 10.

02:03:23.000 Okay, blast them through.

02:03:25.000 Funky will hate you.

02:03:26.000 God bless.

02:03:27.000 We don't have to read the ones that are just five bucks.

02:03:31.000 Was there any place where your wife went to detox from her phone in society?

02:03:34.000 Mine desperately needs it, P.S. That one has to be.

02:03:37.000 It's in like uh Arizona.

02:03:42.000 I forget what it's called.

02:03:43.000 Well, there's a $100 one.

02:03:45.000 Yeah, we read that one already.

02:03:47.000 This one wants to be shaved.

02:03:48.000 Well, it's a $10 one.

02:03:49.000 Mine needs to shave his head totally bald.

02:03:52.000 Okay.

02:03:54.000 Close up, Christian, you whore.

02:03:56.000 Just wait.

02:03:58.000 Does that mean someone's gonna rape me?

02:04:00.000 Was that a rape threat?

02:04:01.000 I don't know.

02:04:03.000 Fuck, I don't want to get raped.

02:04:04.000 Hey, Grisha.

02:04:06.000 She wrote me a letter.

02:04:07.000 My ass is about to get fired from Home Depot because I pulled a girl's hair after she was trying to braid mine.

02:04:12.000 I felt like she was trying to beta me, so I nipped it in the bud.

02:04:16.000 What?

02:04:16.000 Bitch started crying like a little bitch and shit.

02:04:19.000 Women should not be in the workforce.

02:04:21.000 Great show, yeah.

02:04:21.000 Sounds like you'd be scared.

02:04:22.000 Sounds your hair braided.

02:04:22.000 You should be fired, by the way.

02:04:24.000 Sounds like you'd be a person.

02:04:26.000 Bitch was trying to braid my hair.

02:04:28.000 I fucked her up.

02:04:29.000 Spot a new Audi, and it's beautiful, but the passenger seatbelt is a little frayed on the edge.

02:04:34.000 You're the best mechanic in the Northeast.

02:04:35.000 How the fuck am I going to get this thing?

02:04:37.000 Just trash it.

02:04:38.000 It's garbage.

02:04:38.000 Yep.

02:04:40.000 Hoffa is grandpa.

02:04:41.000 Dave is still brown.

02:04:43.000 Proud of your boy.

02:04:44.000 I don't know what that means.

02:04:46.000 Interesting.

02:04:47.000 Hoffa's dead.

02:04:48.000 All right, guys.

02:04:49.000 Get fired.

02:04:49.000 Get in trouble.

02:04:50.000 Be brave.

02:04:51.000 And never stop fighting.

02:04:56.000 Don't blow no trouble.

02:04:57.000 That's it.

02:05:00.000 Don't blow no trouble.

02:05:03.000 There's got to be a bit of wind.

02:05:05.000 Don't blow no spikes.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 06, 2022

GOML LIVE #147 - COPS AND CRIMINALS

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