Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #148 - SHITSHOW

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:18.000 Kevin McGuinness, my little radio.

00:00:31.000 Hey, little radiator. 0.96

00:00:36.000 We got some buffering.

00:00:38.000 You gonna take me home?

00:00:41.000 I already know the title of the show, Shit Show.

00:00:45.000 I'm writing it down right now.

00:00:46.000 Shit Show.

00:00:48.000 It's been a shit show, and we haven't even started yet.

00:00:55.000 We lost the Bobby Lee's there with their song Radiator.

00:00:58.000 What do you say, Radiator or Radiator?

00:01:00.000 Radiator.

00:01:02.000 You say Radiator?

00:01:03.000 Radiator.

00:01:04.000 Rad.

00:01:05.000 I got my wrong glasses on.

00:01:06.000 Hold on.

00:01:07.000 Mike Prague.

00:01:08.000 Mike Prague.

00:01:08.000 Glasses from my office, Matty.

00:01:10.000 Gotcha.

00:01:13.000 We had our TriCaster crash.

00:01:16.000 We did.

00:01:16.000 We were having buffering problems.

00:01:21.000 The Bobby Lee's aren't coming out.

00:01:23.000 Don't get your hopes up, folks.

00:01:25.000 This show is going to suck.

00:01:27.000 But there is a silver fox providing a silver lining to the show, which is Sylvia. 1.00

00:01:37.000 Sylvia's back, folks.

00:01:39.000 I'm back.

00:01:40.000 Woo! 0.99

00:01:41.000 She looks like a little embryo there in some sort of Arctic igloo.

00:01:48.000 How are you feeling, my dear?

00:01:50.000 I feel on top of the world.

00:01:52.000 No pain at all?

00:01:53.000 Zero pain.

00:01:54.000 Zero pain.

00:01:56.000 Really?

00:01:57.000 Because you said even like two days ago, you still had a bit of pain.

00:02:00.000 Yeah, two days ago, I was in pain.

00:02:03.000 When I think about Biden, I get into a great deal of pain.

00:02:08.000 Wow.

00:02:09.000 So we haven't seen you in two months because you fell and broke your hip.

00:02:13.000 Is that correct?

00:02:14.000 I fractured my hip.

00:02:16.000 Okay.

00:02:17.000 And they didn't give you a new hip. 1.00

00:02:18.000 They just, what?

00:02:19.000 No, my hip is in one piece.

00:02:22.000 They stapled it back together again?

00:02:23.000 And now you're fine.

00:02:25.000 Yeah, I'm good.

00:02:26.000 Good to go.

00:02:27.000 Well, we're very happy to have you back.

00:02:30.000 And of course, the 50% of Get Off My Lawn Live, Maddie Odell.

00:02:35.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:02:36.000 Good to see you.

00:02:37.000 I would say Maddie Odell is 50% of the show. 1.00

00:02:40.000 I'm 50% of the show.

00:02:42.000 Ryan is like 10%.

00:02:44.000 And then Sylvia is like 38%.

00:02:47.000 That's over 100%.

00:02:49.000 I do Dr. Joe Biden math.

00:02:51.000 So, you know the way this show goes?

00:02:53.000 We do live chats where we send all the money to Max and John.

00:02:57.000 They're going to get out in less than a year now.

00:02:59.000 And when they get out, we'd like them to have some scratch.

00:03:02.000 Nice.

00:03:02.000 So I'm hoping to give them like, I'm committed to spending $100,000 on Max and John, but I'm going to deduct all the money we've raised.

00:03:11.000 So $100 total, everything I've paid for lawyers and everything.

00:03:14.000 So I'm guessing I'm up to $50.

00:03:17.000 I want to raise another $50, so that's $25 each over the course of the next year.

00:03:24.000 We also make the first half hour or so live, and then we go behind the paywall.

00:03:31.000 So sponsors pay for this, so everyone in the world can see it for free.

00:03:35.000 We put it on what, Bumble?

00:03:36.000 We put it on BitChute, but soon, actually after this episode and going forward, they're all going to be available on censored TV for free.

00:03:43.000 Oh, right, right, right.

00:03:44.000 Which is weird because people can't promote it.

00:03:47.000 You can't send a censored.tv link because the word itself, the URL itself is banned.

00:03:54.000 Already starting with the shit show, Ryan, you should have the QR code here for our live show in Orlando on Saturday, June 25th.

00:04:03.000 We'll announce the venue day of.

00:04:06.000 People are asking me, can I go...

00:04:09.000 Wait, does that work?

00:04:11.000 Tinyurl.com censored live?

00:04:13.000 Yes.

00:04:14.000 You can make...

00:04:15.000 I didn't know you could do that.

00:04:16.000 You can make it whatever you want to make it.

00:04:18.000 Damn.

00:04:20.000 Not a maiden. 1.00

00:04:22.000 We make him sound retarded. 0.99

00:04:24.000 Well, he doesn't sound not retarded. 1.00

00:04:26.000 And then at the top, look at the top left of that screen.

00:04:29.000 You could QR the show.

00:04:30.000 See, the problem with this QR code is people are watching it on their phone.

00:04:35.000 But if you're watching it on someone else's phone, maybe your girlfriend can grab the phone.

00:04:38.000 Yeah, get a friend.

00:04:39.000 Digimon.

00:04:40.000 A letter someone sent from Paris, and they go, we are from France, and we want to come to Orlando to see your show.

00:04:46.000 But we have a six-month-old.

00:04:48.000 Will he be able to come to the event?

00:04:53.000 Yeah, but don't bring it.

00:04:55.000 What?

00:04:56.000 Don't come.

00:04:58.000 It's going to be hot.

00:04:59.000 You're bringing it.

00:05:00.000 It's hot.

00:05:01.000 I don't know.

00:05:01.000 You don't bring a six-month-old on a plane to go see a fucking show.

00:05:05.000 What are you, bad parents?

00:05:07.000 Plus, he'll grow up racist if he comes to this show.

00:05:10.000 It's true.

00:05:11.000 Hope starts in the womb.

00:05:13.000 Bigotry starts in the womb. 0.97

00:05:15.000 Sylvia, when did you become a racist?

00:05:18.000 A racist?

00:05:19.000 The only thing I ever raced for was potato pancakes.

00:05:24.000 I'm not a racist.

00:05:26.000 I love everyone.

00:05:27.000 I don't care what color.

00:05:28.000 You did marry five blacks.

00:05:31.000 Right?

00:05:32.000 Racist is an ugly disease.

00:05:36.000 It's a disease.

00:05:38.000 A disease of observation.

00:05:40.000 I grew up with everybody.

00:05:42.000 Why can't I hear her very well?

00:05:44.000 Is she coming through the gaze?

00:05:45.000 Can you put her through the speaker?

00:05:46.000 Keep talking, man?

00:05:48.000 Well, she doesn't have to come through the speaker. 0.99

00:05:49.000 Well, actually, she does.

00:05:51.000 Go ahead.

00:05:52.000 But she's definitely going on tape, right?

00:05:54.000 Do you mind saying something, hun?

00:05:56.000 Yeah, it was the same issue with Tim the other day.

00:05:58.000 He's slow, but he was on.

00:06:00.000 Sylvia, count to 10, please.

00:06:02.000 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

00:06:10.000 Who put a quarter in you?

00:06:11.000 You really sprung to life.

00:06:12.000 That should be coming through.

00:06:14.000 Yeah.

00:06:15.000 Okay.

00:06:16.000 Also, we are advertising our new awesome shirts.

00:06:20.000 I've been working with the cartoonist who did this for months on these, getting everything perfect.

00:06:26.000 I don't break for queefs. 1.00

00:06:29.000 And the great thing about It is it's elusive, so it's not like people see it and go, Oh, there's a gentleman who, while he's fornicating in an air pocket, gets caught in his partner's vagina, he doesn't discontinue the intercourse.

00:06:43.000 They just see a truck and they don't get it.

00:06:45.000 It's up to you to explain.

00:06:46.000 And look at this: bag of Coke.

00:06:49.000 The apostrophe on the don't is a can of bud.

00:06:53.000 We've got a bong floating in the air.

00:06:55.000 There's boobies there. 1.00

00:06:56.000 The rat fank dude's hat says BM, baby monster. 0.97

00:07:01.000 Sprockets, smoke. 0.80

00:07:05.000 I think we should make this into posters.

00:07:06.000 It's really good.

00:07:07.000 I wouldn't recommend flying Delta Airlines with it on, though.

00:07:10.000 No.

00:07:12.000 Well, that's just it.

00:07:13.000 The captain wouldn't get it.

00:07:14.000 You're not going to have some flight attendant going, I queef. 1.00

00:07:18.000 You got a problem with our queefs?

00:07:20.000 You don't break for them?

00:07:22.000 But it's pro-Qeef.

00:07:23.000 It's like, I don't see your queefs as an issue. 0.99

00:07:26.000 Nope.

00:07:27.000 Big Kimmy, the girl I lost my virginity to, she was totally ostracized at our school, Bell's Corners Public School, when we were little kids because everyone thought she farted. 1.00

00:07:38.000 But she was closing her pencil case and it was like very thick, sort of whatever you call the zippers.

00:07:47.000 But the things on the zipper, whatever you call those.

00:07:50.000 Teeth.

00:07:50.000 Yeah, the zipper teeth were so big that it went...

00:07:54.000 Nice.

00:07:55.000 Poor Kimmy. 1.00

00:07:56.000 She had a rough life.

00:07:57.000 So yeah, the Bobby Lee's, to go back to the beginning of the show, a band from Woodstock, New York, fantastic band in the vein of Black Lips and all those awesome bands.

00:08:07.000 How do you, it's amazing to me that there are still new great bands.

00:08:11.000 Like listen to these guys.

00:08:20.000 It's sort of like painting.

00:08:21.000 Like how are there still people painting and it's good to look at them.

00:08:37.000 I think HR for the fabric.

00:08:41.000 Let's also get down to our sponsors.

00:08:44.000 We're sponsored by Silk City Hot Sauce.

00:08:48.000 We have our own barbecue sauce coming out with Silk City Hot Sauce.

00:08:51.000 My gorgeous face will be on it.

00:08:54.000 Check out their website, Levinsky TopShelf.com, L-E-V-I-N-S-K-Y, promo code Gavin.

00:09:04.000 The sauce is called G-Sauce.

00:09:06.000 I don't know how can they have it for sale already.

00:09:08.000 I haven't even sent them a picture of myself looking red.

00:09:12.000 They're that good.

00:09:14.000 Produced by Soak City BBQ, and we're going to be giving away some sauce.

00:09:17.000 These guys work directly with a big farm in southern Vermont that grow a variety of hot peppers exclusively for them.

00:09:23.000 There's several flavors to choose from.

00:09:25.000 Here's a taste of what you'll see.

00:09:28.000 If you want to pull that up there, Ryan, erotic fever.

00:09:32.000 Fire-roasted habanero with maple syrup.

00:09:34.000 Killer hot.

00:09:35.000 Now, a lot of people will see erotic fever and they'll think, this is a sexual sauce.

00:09:39.000 I should put it on my genitalia when I fornicate. 1.00

00:09:41.000 Do not do that.

00:09:43.000 Do not.

00:09:43.000 Warning.

00:09:44.000 Don't try this at home.

00:09:46.000 That's just the name of it.

00:09:47.000 It's called erotic fever.

00:09:49.000 It's not meant to be incorporated into your sexual stuff.

00:09:52.000 It'll burn your genitals. 1.00

00:09:53.000 It'll burn your genitals. 1.00

00:09:54.000 It can burn a woman's penis. 1.00

00:09:56.000 It can burn a man's vagina. 1.00

00:09:57.000 That's right.

00:09:58.000 2022 burns.

00:10:00.000 I got 2022 burns.

00:10:02.000 That's a great rap.

00:10:03.000 Habanero and ghost pepper blend with honey badass jew. 0.99

00:10:07.000 I don't know what that means.

00:10:08.000 That's Aaron Berg's fucking.

00:10:10.000 Oh, Aaron Berg has a sauce with these guys.

00:10:12.000 Yes, and what happens is the hot sauce gets an opportunity and leaves your house.

00:10:17.000 You look like you're four feet tall.

00:10:20.000 Sorry, I ruined your joke.

00:10:21.000 I said the hot sauce finds a better opportunity and then leaves your house.

00:10:25.000 Oh, okay.

00:10:26.000 I'm just kidding.

00:10:26.000 Nobody knows who Aaron Berg is, Ryan.

00:10:28.000 Aaron Berg recently left his show with Gino Biscante on Compound Media, which is Anthony Cumia of Opi and Anthony's Network.

00:10:36.000 Anthony, I mean, Gino was very upset.

00:10:38.000 I don't know if you saw, but because apparently Aaron has a clean bill of health, but before he said, I'm leaving the show, big reason, open heart surgery.

00:10:48.000 And then Gino was like, nobody recovers that fast, blah, blah, blah.

00:10:52.000 Yeah, he was really mad.

00:10:53.000 Aaron implied he was dying.

00:10:55.000 He was like, I prayed for him.

00:10:56.000 So there's dramas there.

00:10:58.000 And you could watch Gaffer.

00:10:59.000 That's a shitty thing to do, but I have an announcement to make.

00:11:01.000 I'm getting open heart surgery.

00:11:03.000 Are you serious?

00:11:05.000 Best case scenario with stint, probably open heart surgery.

00:11:09.000 And I talked to the doctor there, and I said, What are we doing?

00:11:13.000 He goes, you need a heart transplant.

00:11:15.000 And I said, what the fuck?

00:11:16.000 So I go on a waiting list?

00:11:17.000 And he goes, yes.

00:11:18.000 And I go, my friend Maddie's on a waiting list.

00:11:20.000 And he goes, yeah.

00:11:20.000 And he showed me the list.

00:11:22.000 And he said, here's Maddie and you're way down here.

00:11:24.000 And I said, what if I give you $100,000?

00:11:26.000 He crossed Maddie's name off the list.

00:11:29.000 Dude.

00:11:30.000 And then in Crayon, wrote my name where Maddie's was.

00:11:33.000 Nice.

00:11:33.000 And I took his place.

00:11:35.000 That's not nice, Maddie.

00:11:36.000 I asked the doctor one time, I said, what if I can get a heart?

00:11:39.000 Right, right.

00:11:40.000 Provide my own.

00:11:41.000 No questions asked.

00:11:43.000 He just looked at me like, I was like, I was just saying.

00:11:47.000 Totally hypothetically.

00:11:49.000 B-Y-O-H. 1.00

00:11:50.000 Do we do that?

00:11:52.000 Dude, I feel like I'm making veteran jokes like false valor in front of a real veteran here.

00:11:58.000 When it comes to heart stuff.

00:12:00.000 You didn't make a heart joke.

00:12:01.000 I did.

00:12:02.000 Okay.

00:12:02.000 That's true.

00:12:03.000 You're not good at life and thinking and existence and air and water.

00:12:09.000 As long as he's not mad at me.

00:12:12.000 There's several flavors to choose from.

00:12:14.000 Here's a taste of what you'll see.

00:12:14.000 Erotic fever, we mentioned that.

00:12:16.000 Killer Hot.

00:12:17.000 Habanero and ghost pepper blend with honey.

00:12:19.000 Badass Jew, that's Aaron Berg's. 0.97

00:12:21.000 A green jalapeno sauce zipped up with habanero.

00:12:24.000 Jezebel.

00:12:26.000 The raspberry habanero sauce.

00:12:28.000 Hot syrup.

00:12:29.000 That's hot pepper infused apple cider, maple syrup.

00:12:31.000 And their brand new Bloody Mary cocktail mixer, Silk City.

00:12:36.000 It's made in small batches with high quality ingredients.

00:12:39.000 The proof is in the sauce.

00:12:40.000 Go to silkcityhotsauce.com and use promo code Gavin for 15% off Silk City.

00:12:48.000 We'll also throw in a free bottle of hot sauce with every order.

00:12:52.000 Save when you buy a three or six mix pack.

00:12:55.000 Look out for my G Sauce.

00:12:57.000 It's coming hard.

00:12:58.000 Levinsky, sort of like Monica Lewinsky, but with a V, Levinsky, top shelf, right?

00:13:05.000 The best booze in the bar.com.

00:13:07.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:13:09.000 And don't forget, this applies to all orders.

00:13:12.000 Now, the thing I always say about our sponsors is: these guys get flack, Antifa harasses them, they get threatened all the time for promoting this show, for sponsoring this show.

00:13:25.000 You need hot sauce.

00:13:26.000 You need it on your eggs.

00:13:28.000 You need it in your Bloody Mary.

00:13:29.000 So why not get the hot sauce from the guys who have the balls to support free speech?

00:13:35.000 Same with the coffee, same with every other necessity in your house.

00:13:39.000 Like I said before, I met an optometrist who was MAGA in the city, old mob dude.

00:13:45.000 I'm like, well, now I got my guy.

00:13:46.000 I got to get glasses, so I'm going to get them from this guy.

00:13:49.000 Get your hot sauce from these guys.

00:13:52.000 They are, what did Biden say today?

00:13:54.000 Ultra MAGA?

00:13:56.000 Yeah.

00:13:56.000 And he called Trump the MAGA king.

00:14:00.000 Is that what he said, or did he say king MAGA?

00:14:03.000 These insults are getting more and more true as his presidency goes on.

00:14:08.000 Like he said, these guys are going to try to tell you inflation and your anger.

00:14:13.000 I know your anger about inflation.

00:14:16.000 He goes, I can taste it.

00:14:19.000 What?

00:14:20.000 You can taste my anger at inflation?

00:14:24.000 I don't recall sending any bodily fluids your way.

00:14:28.000 But he goes, he says, these MAGA parties are going to take that anger from the inflation that I can taste, and they're going to try to mobilize that anger and make it show up at the polls, make it affect your vote.

00:14:44.000 And I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what we want to do.

00:14:47.000 And there's nothing smart about you, Joe.

00:14:49.000 That's what democracy is.

00:14:51.000 When you fuck up and inflation gets too high, people try to vote you out.

00:14:56.000 That's the deal.

00:14:57.000 These people are going to trick you.

00:14:58.000 They're going to try to say that because I'm doing a bad job, then I should go.

00:15:03.000 That's not how it works.

00:15:04.000 Never mind the fact that I suck.

00:15:06.000 I should get a reward.

00:15:10.000 I got a bone to pick for Fox News.

00:15:12.000 Years ago, if a reporter or journalist had a different view of the news than Fox News, it was okay.

00:15:21.000 They'd let it slide.

00:15:23.000 Nowadays, you've got a different view of the news on Fox News and some of the other news channels, they fire you.

00:15:31.000 What the heck ever happened to free speech?

00:15:34.000 It's being murdered in this country.

00:15:38.000 Well, even Tucker Carlson, who I consider one step down from Jesus Christ, he won't go near Dinesh D'Souza's 2000 Mules thing.

00:15:48.000 Same with Newsmax.

00:15:50.000 They won't go near, and I think it might be because Dominion is so litigious, but Newsmax, Tucker Carlson will not go near Dinesh D'Souza's new movie, 2000 Mules.

00:16:04.000 Which I have yet to see.

00:16:05.000 You know, everybody talks like they've got something to say, but nothing comes out when they move their lips.

00:16:10.000 Just a bunch of gibberish.

00:16:12.000 In act, they act like they forgot about Dre.

00:16:15.000 You are ruining my sleep at night, Donald.

00:16:18.000 Donald, you plagiarized that.

00:16:21.000 What do you mean?

00:16:22.000 You didn't make that up.

00:16:24.000 It's a rap.

00:16:25.000 You just said a rap lyric like you made it up.

00:16:27.000 Said a rap lyric?

00:16:28.000 That doesn't sound familiar to me, but what does is that you guys forgot about Dre.

00:16:33.000 Really, in a big way.

00:16:34.000 If you look at it, you've forgotten about Dre.

00:16:37.000 Man, Mike Suey.

00:16:41.000 I think Trey's gay, by the way.

00:16:42.000 Yeah.

00:16:42.000 I've heard that.

00:16:43.000 That's clear, right?

00:16:44.000 Why are you wearing a Yankees hat on a Mets show?

00:16:46.000 Well, I'm glad you asked.

00:16:47.000 Tomorrow, my first concert at Madison Square Garden will be Limp Biscuits.

00:16:53.000 Yeah, so I'm wearing the red hat.

00:16:55.000 I got it today.

00:16:56.000 Are Limp Biscuit Yankees fans?

00:16:59.000 But that was just, I don't know.

00:17:00.000 That's a good question, but he wore this hat, the Yankees hat.

00:17:03.000 So I don't think he's from Jane.

00:17:05.000 You're sure it was a Yankees hat?

00:17:06.000 It was backwards.

00:17:07.000 No one ever saw what was on the front of his.

00:17:08.000 Oh, it was a Yanker. 0.80

00:17:10.000 It was a Yanker.

00:17:11.000 So you're going to see Limp Biscuit.

00:17:13.000 Who else is going to be there?

00:17:13.000 Jane's Addiction?

00:17:15.000 No, no.

00:17:16.000 Maybe it's a whole festival.

00:17:17.000 What do you got?

00:17:17.000 Early Jane, Late Jane's, Pepper Summer Age?

00:17:20.000 No, no, just Limp Biscuit.

00:17:22.000 And maybe an opening act.

00:17:26.000 Bam.

00:17:27.000 Boom.

00:17:28.000 Yankee Hat.

00:17:29.000 It was backwards, but he's got it forward sometimes.

00:17:31.000 Limp Biscuit really got blamed for that 90, what was it, 99 Woodstock Rape Festival where it was just fucking absolute chaos.

00:17:40.000 Yeah, when they played Break Stuff.

00:17:42.000 Yeah, Give Me Something to Break.

00:17:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:44.000 And then they had bonfires.

00:17:46.000 My wife was watching a documentary about that Woodstock. 0.91

00:17:48.000 I've kind of had forgotten about it.

00:17:50.000 You know that the Porta Potty's all overflowed.

00:17:53.000 So when you see those people dancing around in mud, it's shit mud. 0.99

00:17:57.000 My mom went there for one day.

00:17:59.000 I tried to like ask her about it right after we had watched.

00:18:01.000 Oh my god, you're so young that your mother was at 99 Woodstock.

00:18:06.000 Yes.

00:18:06.000 Not the old one.

00:18:07.000 She was too unborn to go to the first one.

00:18:09.000 1994, I believe.

00:18:10.000 Oh, 94.

00:18:11.000 So when were you born?

00:18:12.000 Wait, she might have went to 92 or 94?

00:18:16.000 When were you born, Ryan?

00:18:17.000 1989.

00:18:18.000 The year of our Lord.

00:18:19.000 No, that's called the year of the fag, at least with the Chinese calendar.

00:18:22.000 That's not true.

00:18:23.000 Yeah, it is.

00:18:24.000 It's like a character is like that.

00:18:26.000 I don't like that.

00:18:27.000 To promote it.

00:18:28.000 It's a Chinese symbol that looks like a limp wrist.

00:18:30.000 I know.

00:18:31.000 Limp risket.

00:18:34.000 Really?

00:18:34.000 I really hope I didn't...

00:18:36.000 Huh?

00:18:36.000 Didn't you call them that like one minute?

00:18:38.000 No, I'm limp risket because I'm a fag wearing their hat and they're limp biscuit because they're rad and they rule. 1.00

00:18:45.000 I made my own insult, essentially.

00:18:48.000 I made my own insult from scratch.

00:18:50.000 Homemade insults.

00:18:54.000 So yeah, we get the super chats where we give the money to Max and John.

00:18:59.000 I don't know how much money we've raised so far, maybe two grand or so.

00:19:03.000 We have a year to get to 25, to 50, really.

00:19:07.000 25 each.

00:19:08.000 And then we take phone calls and we talk to you.

00:19:12.000 And then we also take, well, it's like an AMSR.

00:19:17.000 M-N-S-B-L-L-R. 1.00

00:19:18.000 AMSR?

00:19:19.000 AMSR with Sylvia.

00:19:20.000 AMSMR, sorry.

00:19:21.000 Sylvia taking off her coat.

00:19:22.000 You can hear every molecule because she's sitting on the mic.

00:19:26.000 Hey, Sylvia. 0.99

00:19:28.000 If you're going to fart, make sure you fart on the mic so we hear it.

00:19:31.000 We need it, yes.

00:19:31.000 Oh, that's not allowed.

00:19:33.000 Jewish women don't fart. 1.00

00:19:35.000 Only Goyish girls fart. 1.00

00:19:38.000 Do you?

00:19:39.000 So you'd ever fart?

00:19:40.000 Never.

00:19:41.000 Do people...

00:19:42.000 Unconstitutional.

00:19:44.000 I just realized, and this has nothing to do with Jewish or Goyam.

00:19:47.000 I just realized I've never heard an old person fart.

00:19:50.000 Are you serious?

00:19:51.000 Really?

00:19:51.000 When they sneeze?

00:19:52.000 It's fart city.

00:19:54.000 Oh, really?

00:19:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:55.000 I've heard plenty of, like, simultaneous farts with coughs and skins. 0.90

00:19:58.000 Go to an old age home or a nursing home. 0.98

00:20:00.000 I'm sure they fart like crazy.

00:20:02.000 Oh, my God.

00:20:03.000 Will you ever go to a nursing home?

00:20:04.000 Stuck them there.

00:20:05.000 Will you ever end up at a nursing home?

00:20:07.000 Me, never.

00:20:08.000 I'd rather commit suicide.

00:20:11.000 But when your hip was being repaired, you weren't just at the hospital the entire time.

00:20:15.000 I was in a hospital, not a nursing home.

00:20:17.000 The whole time that it was a hospital.

00:20:19.000 You were in a hospital for two months?

00:20:21.000 I was a month in the hospital, then a month in rehab.

00:20:26.000 Jesus.

00:20:26.000 And where was the rehab?

00:20:27.000 That's a hospital.

00:20:29.000 Jewish Sarah Newman rehab, where they have physical therapy.

00:20:36.000 They also have nursing homes.

00:20:38.000 Once you're in a nursing home, you can't get out.

00:20:41.000 So the Sarah Newman thing is a hospital.

00:20:44.000 Sarah Newman is not a hospital.

00:20:47.000 It's a rehab.

00:20:48.000 Rehabilitation, like if you have an accident.

00:20:51.000 Okay, so it's not called a hospital, and it's not a nursing home.

00:20:54.000 It's not a hospital.

00:20:55.000 Because our good friend Joe Tonelli, a scam artist who grew up in New Rochelle, Mamaraneck area, and pretended to be a nurse for many years.

00:21:06.000 If you look him up, you can see plenty of warnings, people saying, don't trust this guy.

00:21:10.000 He has been in an old folks' home for two months.

00:21:15.000 I think because he was on Medicaid.

00:21:19.000 They didn't want to keep paying for a room in the actual hospital.

00:21:23.000 So that's the same way that all those old people got COVID because there's some sort of paperwork somewhere that says, save money, stick them in an old folks' home. 1.00

00:21:32.000 And Como got away with it.

00:21:37.000 They didn't prosecute him because he didn't, yeah, he didn't go to jail, but his reputation is mud, and we're never going to see him again.

00:21:45.000 What did they say?

00:21:46.000 Lady Justice is blind. 0.95

00:21:49.000 Can you focus on Sylvia a little bit better here on today's shit show? 0.98

00:21:54.000 Do I focus on what?

00:21:57.000 The camera.

00:21:58.000 You seem a little blurry.

00:21:59.000 Oh, she's punched in a lot.

00:22:01.000 But let me see if I can.

00:22:02.000 I'm very upset with what's going down in this world.

00:22:07.000 Be more sensitive.

00:22:07.000 Not the world I grew up in.

00:22:11.000 In what sense?

00:22:13.000 The world I grew up in, there was justice.

00:22:16.000 There was respect for your elders.

00:22:19.000 There was respect for knowledge and education.

00:22:25.000 You know, Soviets. 0.98

00:22:26.000 When they grew up, they knew they had to work for a living.

00:22:29.000 They didn't feel like owed them something.

00:22:32.000 They didn't go around with a chip on their shoulder.

00:22:34.000 They didn't do drugs.

00:22:36.000 The most they did to get hard was drink beer in the schoolyard.

00:22:41.000 Now, everyone talks these days about how racist everything is and how America hasn't progressed since the 50s and blah, blah, blah.

00:22:47.000 When you think of like South Bronx in the 60s and 70s, were we over...

00:22:53.000 Maybe not the 60s, but in the 70s in New York City, like did people talk about racism this much?

00:22:58.000 No, the 70s was great.

00:23:01.000 Everybody got along good.

00:23:02.000 There was no friggin' racism.

00:23:05.000 The only thing that I remember in the 60s, they started with black power, white power. 0.97

00:23:11.000 That's pure bullshit.

00:23:14.000 You know, that's racist.

00:23:18.000 We're all the same.

00:23:20.000 People don't want to admit it.

00:23:21.000 We're all the same.

00:23:23.000 We're all made the same way.

00:23:27.000 One is not better than the other.

00:23:29.000 You might be smarter than the other.

00:23:31.000 You might have native intelligence.

00:23:34.000 But nobody's better than somebody else.

00:23:37.000 If you think you do, you're digging a deep ditch for yourself.

00:23:41.000 You're going to wind up at the short end of the stick.

00:23:44.000 Little do you know.

00:23:47.000 Hoist it on your own.

00:23:48.000 Either that or hang out with people who are Democrats like Biden.

00:23:55.000 Beard Vet is a veteran-owned company.

00:23:58.000 Stay warm and caffeinated with Beard Vet Coffee and stay looking great with Beard Vet grooming equipment.

00:24:03.000 So there seems to be two main focuses with our sponsor, Beard Vet, this vet-owned badass dudes who sell beard grooming products and coffee.

00:24:14.000 And again, you're buying coffee, so why don't you get it from our sponsors?

00:24:20.000 This background is wrong, shit show.

00:24:22.000 That's my new nickname for you, shit show.

00:24:24.000 That's pretty good.

00:24:28.000 Beard Vet is great beard grooming products and coffee.

00:24:32.000 Check out our exclusive GOML discount at beardvet.com with promo code Gavin.

00:24:38.000 15% off all orders.

00:24:40.000 They have the El Diablo Coffee Blend, which we use here, the Brazilian Roast Blend.

00:24:44.000 They're all on sale with promo code Gavin, plus free shipping on all orders when you go to beardvet.com, promo code Gavin.

00:24:53.000 Sean, the owner of Beard Vet, is one of us.

00:24:58.000 And again, they are veteran-owned and operator.

00:25:00.000 Beard Vet stands for the national anthem, but they kneel to the cross.

00:25:05.000 Did I say owned and operated?

00:25:06.000 Am I turning into Joe Biden where words just become a series of vowels?

00:25:10.000 You're owned and operated.

00:25:12.000 The chartable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.

00:25:17.000 Who support them?

00:25:18.000 They support us.

00:25:19.000 Show yourself.

00:25:20.000 Some excellent coffee and grooming gear.

00:25:23.000 Beardvet.com.

00:25:25.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:25:26.000 15% off.

00:25:29.000 Here's a promo code.

00:25:30.000 It's not a joke.

00:25:32.000 It's not a joke.

00:25:33.000 I can taste it.

00:25:34.000 You know what I feel like is hard?

00:25:35.000 Like, coming up with an actual, accurate, Joe Biden accurate Bidenism.

00:25:40.000 Like, it would be like, you know, you get the soldiers out there, man.

00:25:43.000 One time it did salute under the hot sun, right?

00:25:47.000 Salute under the hot sun.

00:25:49.000 Everybody.

00:25:50.000 They ordered arms.

00:25:51.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:25:52.000 Because the shit that comes out of his mouth is so alarmingly random.

00:25:56.000 Like when he was talking to those people in yesterday's episode, or sorry, Tuesday's episode, where he goes, yeah, Iraq 50 times, 48 times.

00:26:05.000 Yeah, every time you go.

00:26:07.000 Like, how are you going to riff that?

00:26:08.000 I don't know.

00:26:09.000 It's hard to come up with the true fucking Bidenism.

00:26:12.000 I think I got close.

00:26:13.000 Like, I can taste it.

00:26:14.000 I never would have come up with that.

00:26:15.000 No.

00:26:16.000 No.

00:26:17.000 Caller one and caller two tonight are getting a free gift pack from Sean and the Beard Vet team.

00:26:22.000 Right.

00:26:23.000 Thank you, Beard Vet.

00:26:25.000 Now, we did need a fashions last week, right?

00:26:28.000 Did we do them every second week?

00:26:29.000 I don't recall that we did, honestly, to be fair.

00:26:32.000 Okay.

00:26:33.000 Well, we might go past the half-hour mark and indulge.

00:26:39.000 How have you been doing, Maddie?

00:26:41.000 I'm all right.

00:26:41.000 Can't complain.

00:26:42.000 So today we saw you make toast.

00:26:45.000 Yes, that was the episode that dropped today.

00:26:47.000 That was a viewer request.

00:26:49.000 Miles M wrote that in.

00:26:52.000 So we got to please the baby monsters.

00:26:54.000 And why did you choose margarine instead of butter?

00:26:57.000 Because if you're going to request toasts, you're going to get nothing but the best.

00:27:02.000 Yeah, you're not a gourmand if you're just asking how to make toast.

00:27:05.000 White wonder bread and margarine.

00:27:08.000 You know what I had in Nashville?

00:27:10.000 There was a fried bologna sandwich, and I was like, I've never had that before.

00:27:13.000 I'll try it.

00:27:14.000 And I got it, and it's just a BLT, but instead of B, it's fried bologna.

00:27:19.000 Dude, it was heaven on earth.

00:27:22.000 Especially on a night out drinking, where you're like, I want salty, but I don't want to pig out, but I'd like a little oomph.

00:27:29.000 I've had a few fried bologna sandwiches.

00:27:32.000 Was it a BLT?

00:27:33.000 No, it was just bologna, cheese.

00:27:36.000 Well, when we were inside, it was just like a slice of bologna and meat and bread.

00:27:44.000 In the microwave.

00:27:46.000 Yeah.

00:27:47.000 It's a popular dish in receiving.

00:27:50.000 Maddie and I have both done time.

00:27:52.000 No need to get into the specifics of how much.

00:27:55.000 I don't think that's important.

00:27:56.000 Definitely not.

00:27:57.000 No.

00:27:58.000 That's a pissing contest.

00:28:00.000 Yeah.

00:28:00.000 That's petty.

00:28:02.000 Now that's how guys talk to one another.

00:28:04.000 What matters is that we're both ex-cons.

00:28:06.000 I found a rarity in the supermarket.

00:28:09.000 They stopped selling it.

00:28:11.000 Maybe they're racist.

00:28:13.000 I don't know.

00:28:14.000 Hebrew National Salami.

00:28:16.000 Now, Genoa Italian salami is great, but Hebrew National Jewish Salami makes it, puts it to shame. 1.00

00:28:25.000 It is dynamite.

00:28:26.000 You can make it on Jewish rye bread, or you could slice it up make an omelet.

00:28:34.000 It is great.

00:28:36.000 And you couldn't find it?

00:28:38.000 I found it.

00:28:39.000 Okay, but I thought you were starting this out saying there's some sort of indication.

00:28:43.000 These stores don't have it anymore.

00:28:45.000 It's very hard to find.

00:28:47.000 Dude, we could do a whole show, Dudette, on what harbingers of the decline of Western civilization can be located at the grocery store.

00:28:56.000 I looked for about an hour, three different stores, just trying to find beans.

00:29:01.000 Yeah.

00:29:02.000 Cowboy beans, England beans.

00:29:05.000 Now, as far as exotic Japanese beans and all kinds of fucking Hispanic beans, oh my God, there's entire sections of the grocery store.

00:29:14.000 But the original white beans, gone.

00:29:17.000 Hand-cut fries, done.

00:29:19.000 Erased from society.

00:29:22.000 Dude, they've been making things.

00:29:23.000 We should start marching around grocery stores with tiki torches saying you will not replace us.

00:29:28.000 Did you notice everything is smaller now?

00:29:30.000 Like it comes in like smaller packaging?

00:29:32.000 I noticed that with hot pockets, there's just two in a box.

00:29:35.000 I've noticed that with co-hosts where the guy will be like five foot seven and he'll be dressed like Hans and Franz pump you up.

00:29:45.000 That was pretty funny.

00:29:47.000 What are you?

00:29:49.000 You know what you look like with your shirt tucked into your sweatpants?

00:29:53.000 You look like the most shit together guy at the Mental Institution.

00:29:57.000 Where you're like, I'll help.

00:29:58.000 Don't worry, I'll clean it up.

00:30:00.000 And you like, you volunteer.

00:30:01.000 I mean, you're blurry, obviously.

00:30:04.000 The base of your microphone shaft is perfectly crisp, but everything else is blurry.

00:30:09.000 And you look like the guy who some of the, whatever you call them, interns, the guys who work at the mental institution, they're like, why is he even here?

00:30:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:17.000 He seems like he has it together.

00:30:19.000 The orderlies?

00:30:20.000 Then you like start losing.

00:30:21.000 He looks like a bouncer.

00:30:23.000 He like beats the shit out of a fridge.

00:30:24.000 He looks like a bouncer.

00:30:26.000 Thank you.

00:30:28.000 A bouncer at fucking Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, maybe.

00:30:32.000 Hey, excuse me, Veruka.

00:30:33.000 He's got those muscles on his arms.

00:30:35.000 Mrs. Salt, Miss Veruka, you cannot have whatever you want. 0.97

00:30:39.000 You cannot buy an Oompa Loompa.

00:30:42.000 So you're out of here.

00:30:44.000 Okay, so it's the half hour mark.

00:30:47.000 Sometimes I feel like we should allow the freeloaders just to take a dip.

00:30:51.000 You want to give them the whole thing?

00:30:53.000 What do you mean, the whole first hour?

00:30:55.000 Yeah.

00:30:56.000 No, suck my balls dry. 1.00

00:30:58.000 You know, I had sex with my wife this morning, and we did it in the living room where there's a bookshelf, and I've started reading the titles to buy myself time.

00:31:08.000 Nice.

00:31:09.000 But from her perspective, it must have been weird because it started out like, oh, yeah, because it's been a while.

00:31:15.000 The barber, my barber was like, you people that are married, you have pizza every night.

00:31:20.000 I get pizza one night, buttiger one night.

00:31:22.000 I get steak one night.

00:31:23.000 I have different, all my bitches, I'd mix it up. 1.00

00:31:26.000 I'm like, dude, I don't get pizza every night.

00:31:28.000 When I get pizza, I devour it because it's the only food and it's rare.

00:31:32.000 I'm in a desert.

00:31:33.000 Anyway, I don't even get pizza Friday shit.

00:31:35.000 I got pizza August.

00:31:38.000 That was funny.

00:31:40.000 I know.

00:31:40.000 I'm just cool.

00:31:43.000 So the beginning, I'm like, oh yeah, oh fuck feels so good.

00:31:47.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:48.000 And then I look over the bookshelf and start my new technique.

00:31:51.000 So all of a sudden it goes, I'm like, oh yeah, ought.

00:31:57.000 And I'm just reading.

00:31:58.000 But it worked.

00:32:00.000 I think it bought me 30 seconds.

00:32:02.000 Nice.

00:32:03.000 Maybe even a minute.

00:32:05.000 Which in 20 years marriage years is an hour.

00:32:11.000 An eternity.

00:32:12.000 At my age, you're trying to get from like five, seven minutes up to 11 minutes.

00:32:20.000 11.

00:32:21.000 11?

00:32:22.000 No, you're young.

00:32:23.000 That's baloney.

00:32:25.000 You got to try new techniques and you'll go for a whole hour non-stop.

00:32:32.000 Just pounding for an hour.

00:32:35.000 It's more than pounding.

00:32:38.000 You got to try new ways.

00:32:41.000 I see I got to teach you all over again.

00:32:44.000 Tell me a technique then.

00:32:46.000 Like, tell me how to fuck.

00:32:50.000 What do I do?

00:32:53.000 You play her like a piano.

00:32:55.000 First, you suck her toes. 1.00

00:32:57.000 Oh, shit.

00:32:58.000 Then you take your dick and put it by her tit and rub her nipple. 1.00

00:33:03.000 Okay.

00:33:04.000 I've never played a piano like that before.

00:33:06.000 What song is that?

00:33:08.000 Then you pretend her belly button is her cunt and you just caress it. 0.99

00:33:14.000 Then you take your dick by her ear and you rub it. 1.00

00:33:18.000 What?

00:33:19.000 Then you take your dick by her throat and you caress it. 0.99

00:33:23.000 Then she's all wet and dying for you, and then you shove it in nice and gentle and slow. 0.71

00:33:33.000 Shove it.

00:33:34.000 And how long after that is the pumping going on for?

00:33:38.000 For as long as you and her want it.

00:33:41.000 It'll be way more than 11 minutes, guaranteed.

00:33:46.000 Well, you marry mostly blacks. 0.91

00:33:48.000 No, I married any man I love.

00:33:51.000 Color had nothing to do with it.

00:33:53.000 I understand, but your sexual experience has been out of seven husbands, five have been...

00:33:58.000 I had over 100 men in bed before I got married, baby. 0.69

00:34:02.000 Oh, my.

00:34:02.000 I had Arabs.

00:34:04.000 I had Iranians.

00:34:08.000 Who are the best lovers from the top down? 0.89

00:34:12.000 Latino men.

00:34:14.000 That's funny because my barbara was saying the same thing of Latino women. 1.00

00:34:17.000 Latino and black.

00:34:18.000 You know why?

00:34:19.000 They're not like white boys. 0.97

00:34:21.000 They don't have any inhibitions and they'll do anything and everything to please you.

00:34:27.000 Or to please themselves.

00:34:28.000 Would they sit on your face?

00:34:32.000 No comment.

00:34:39.000 Perfect smile.

00:34:42.000 Can somebody edit that where she said it's like playing a piano and it's like, first you got to suck the balls and then every time you're blurry.

00:34:52.000 Before we go to start taking calls, I want to say a shout out to our oldest sponsor as far as being there from day one, which is Nita Fashions.

00:35:03.000 I don't usually wear t-shirts on this show, but Thursday nights we want to promote our awesome merch.

00:35:09.000 But every time you see me wearing a suit, I'm wearing a Nita Fashion suit.

00:35:13.000 I heard they have a get off my lawn lining now.

00:35:16.000 I can't believe they didn't tell me this.

00:35:18.000 It says never stop fighting in the lining.

00:35:22.000 And they live in Hong Kong.

00:35:23.000 They're Indian dudes, dot, not feather.

00:35:26.000 And I'm like, okay, guys sure you want to get behind this show that much?

00:35:30.000 Like a lot of businesses get canceled.

00:35:32.000 And they're like, we don't give a fuck, buddy.

00:35:35.000 They don't swear.

00:35:36.000 They're very, very prim and proper.

00:35:38.000 I don't know.

00:35:38.000 They don't say buddy tailors.

00:35:40.000 But they were like, we get to get off my lawn sensor TV client every day.

00:35:46.000 We are loving it.

00:35:47.000 Let me tell you.

00:35:50.000 So yeah, I call it the tailor for cheap rich people.

00:35:56.000 You go there, you get a suit for $800.

00:35:59.000 You get a shirt for $50.

00:36:01.000 It's perfectly tailored to you.

00:36:03.000 It feels like pajamas.

00:36:04.000 You've never lived until you've worn a suit that was made specifically for your exact body shape.

00:36:10.000 It's awesome.

00:36:11.000 If you get drunk, you end up passing out in it because you're so fucking comfortable.

00:36:16.000 In the summer, going to meetings, you're so comfortable every day.

00:36:20.000 So the way to set this up is they do sort of world tours.

00:36:24.000 And I mean literally world tours.

00:36:26.000 Where you go there.

00:36:26.000 They were just in New York and you go there and they have all these swatches and you get set up.

00:36:30.000 But the next one won't be for a while, I don't think.

00:36:33.000 They're still on it now.

00:36:34.000 I'm not sure where they are.

00:36:36.000 But you contact them.

00:36:38.000 Instagram seems to be the most popular way for our viewers.

00:36:41.000 You DM them.

00:36:42.000 You set up a meeting.

00:36:43.000 Your girlfriend has a measuring tape. 1.00

00:36:46.000 She measures your neck and everything, your waist, your inseam. 1.00

00:36:49.000 And then you pick various...

00:36:51.000 They can send you swatches or you can just do it by sight.

00:36:54.000 And then a suit just arrives.

00:36:55.000 FedEx.

00:36:56.000 Here you go, sir.

00:36:59.000 It's much better, though, when they meet you and you get to feel the swatches and everything.

00:37:03.000 And the fun part, too, is that sort of pampering you get when they show up at the hotel in your town and you go there and choose all the fabrics and stuff.

00:37:13.000 It's awesome.

00:37:14.000 And I know if you work construction or something, you don't need 10 suits, but you have funerals, you have weddings, you need at least one suit that fits you perfectly.

00:37:23.000 Ooh, do it for your wedding.

00:37:24.000 That's smart.

00:37:25.000 So yeah, go to NitaFashions.

00:37:27.000 What's the actual URL, Ryan?

00:37:29.000 It's nitafashions.com.

00:37:31.000 Once again, that is nitafashions.com.

00:37:34.000 That is Nita, N-I-T-A, NitaFashions.com.

00:37:39.000 All right, let's start the mailbag.

00:37:41.000 We'll read one letter and then we will disappear behind the paywall.

00:37:46.000 Sound good?

00:37:46.000 Sound good.

00:37:48.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:37:53.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

00:37:59.000 Let me touch it.

00:38:02.000 Oh, fuck.

00:38:03.000 We have FOP medals in Johnny Apple, too?

00:38:06.000 We do.

00:38:07.000 That's five sponsors.

00:38:09.000 That seems a little heavy.

00:38:10.000 So maybe we'll have to do the whole first hour free.

00:38:13.000 That means we're popular.

00:38:14.000 So we had a problem with the letters.

00:38:17.000 We were getting too many.

00:38:18.000 I was getting 100 a day, and they're all gold.

00:38:21.000 And I thought, well, we'll have Ryan do celebrity mailbag.

00:38:24.000 That will eat it up.

00:38:24.000 But that only eats up like 20.

00:38:26.000 And then I realized the solution to the problem.

00:38:29.000 Become the ultimate male snob.

00:38:33.000 So now if your letter is not the greatest thing I've ever read and it doesn't deserve the Poet Laureate Award, I just turf it.

00:38:41.000 Bye-bye.

00:38:42.000 Bye-bye.

00:38:44.000 Home to mommy.

00:38:46.000 I'm out of here, bye.

00:38:48.000 You should have the background Thursday Night's Live shit show.

00:38:53.000 This guy?

00:38:54.000 Yeah, the one that incorporates mail calls and everything.

00:38:57.000 True.

00:38:59.000 Okay, I have to say, off the bat here, out of the gate, I got a thousand letters telling me to fuck off because I laughed at Ryan for saying cutlery can rust.

00:39:10.000 Of course.

00:39:12.000 A shocking amount of letters saying that.

00:39:14.000 Yes.

00:39:14.000 I still am on my side.

00:39:18.000 When was the last time you looked at your sink and you went, oh, damn it, I left these forks here too long.

00:39:24.000 They're all rusty.

00:39:25.000 Now, I understand there might be some $900 Japanese knife that's not supposed to get wet for more than a minute.

00:39:31.000 No one has those.

00:39:33.000 $300, I got a shooting.

00:39:35.000 No one has a shoon. 0.99

00:39:36.000 A lot of people have a shooting.

00:39:38.000 No one has a shoon. 0.99

00:39:39.000 I assune you, people have a shoon. 1.00

00:39:41.000 I've shooned it myself.

00:39:44.000 Maddie, can cutlery rust?

00:39:48.000 I've never particularly seen it myself.

00:39:51.000 No.

00:39:52.000 But I don't leave dishes in the sink for long.

00:39:54.000 There you go.

00:39:55.000 Well, that's my thing.

00:39:57.000 I leave shit in the sink for like a couple days.

00:39:59.000 I've never seen any rust on them.

00:40:02.000 Anyway, here's one of the only letters we got that didn't tell me to fuck off and didn't say Ryan is awesome.

00:40:09.000 So it's the one I'm focusing on, clearly.

00:40:11.000 And it says, Detective shitty on kitchen knives.

00:40:15.000 Stainless steel is almost impossible to rust in a lifetime.

00:40:19.000 Unless your water is one on the pH scale, you're fine.

00:40:23.000 And then he sends a link.

00:40:25.000 Wustoff.

00:40:26.000 Wustoff, they're German knives. 0.58

00:40:28.000 The person who trained me about knife work and stuff like that, he had a Wustoff.

00:40:32.000 Knife work?

00:40:33.000 What do you mean?

00:40:33.000 When you worked at that sushi place?

00:40:34.000 No, no, no.

00:40:35.000 I worked at a high-end, like a winery, very nice winery up in Warwick.

00:40:41.000 And they had an amazing kitchen.

00:40:44.000 I worked in that kitchen.

00:40:45.000 Why do you sound like you're at gunpoint right now?

00:40:48.000 I really wish I could cut to me and then there's like a gun there, but it's just me.

00:40:54.000 Jason Jones and Samantha B, family friends.

00:40:59.000 They were our neighbors upstate.

00:41:02.000 Nice.

00:41:03.000 Gavin, I'll get the ass lapping over with now and say big fan, blah, blah, blah. 0.81

00:41:07.000 I'm writing you because I recently watched a show that aired from 2016 to 2019 called The Detour.

00:41:13.000 Your old pals Jason Jones and Samantha B wrote it.

00:41:15.000 I thought it would be woke, but it actually pokes fun at both sides.

00:41:18.000 That's where, especially for that time frame, makes me wonder if they both have come more to the center.

00:41:23.000 Anyways, thought you might want to check it out.

00:41:26.000 Yeah, I used to hang out with Jason Jones.

00:41:28.000 You know, we'd get a drink every couple months, and he knew I was a righty, and he was clearly a lefty.

00:41:35.000 But it was normal.

00:41:38.000 This was back pre-Trump where you could talk to the other side, and they'd roll their eyes, and you rolled your eyes.

00:41:45.000 I always found, though, back when I had liberal friends, it wasn't both of us rolling our eyes.

00:41:51.000 It was them rolling their eyes at me, because I didn't think that fucking Snow was racist.

00:41:57.000 And then me going, how can you possibly think that blah, blah, blah?

00:42:03.000 And I'm still there now.

00:42:06.000 Like with Biden.

00:42:07.000 Oh, wow, that was a good fucking stunt.

00:42:11.000 With Biden, I'm just like, how can you fucking, a friend of mine in Tacoma was a lawyer and he's a liberal and he's like, about a month ago I said, what would you give Biden?

00:42:22.000 And he goes, B minus.

00:42:25.000 I'm not even mad at that.

00:42:26.000 I'm just confused.

00:42:28.000 B minus.

00:42:29.000 I understand homosexuality more than I understand liking Biden.

00:42:34.000 I haven't spoken to him since, so not because I'm mad, but I've been meaning to call him.

00:42:38.000 But like, it's got to be a D right now.

00:42:42.000 Minimum.

00:42:43.000 I think Biden would give Biden a D. Biden is not blown away by Biden.

00:42:47.000 Didn't he say something about that too, that he wasn't doing so good?

00:42:50.000 Yeah, he said, I'm the shittiest president in the history of America.

00:42:55.000 Let's call my mom.

00:42:57.000 Let's see what she thinks.

00:42:58.000 She hasn't spoken to me since I missed Mother's Day.

00:43:02.000 Even though I didn't miss Mother's Day, she forgot to check her messages.

00:43:05.000 Now, guys, for everybody who doesn't know, if you're watching for the first time, you go to the site, censored.tv, and on the...

00:43:12.000 You will be charged as per your international plan.

00:43:15.000 Under the live page, you can donate to read a message on air.

00:43:19.000 That's right.

00:43:20.000 You go to the live stream and underneath the player.

00:43:25.000 Who is that handsome guy?

00:43:28.000 And you can see your message.

00:43:30.000 Calling my mom, Sylvia.

00:43:31.000 I hear that.

00:43:32.000 It's about time.

00:43:33.000 Get on it.

00:43:37.000 Someone's asking about your dog.

00:43:40.000 Tinkerbell.

00:43:41.000 Sylvia is Tinkerbell.

00:43:42.000 Hi, mom.

00:43:44.000 Hi, how are you, Looney Tunes?

00:43:47.000 Good, good.

00:43:48.000 You're on the air.

00:43:48.000 We're live.

00:43:51.000 Really?

00:43:52.000 Oh, my God.

00:43:54.000 Dad wants on speaker because, you know, he's stupid.

00:44:00.000 I was just talking about a liberal friend of mine who gives Biden a C minus.

00:44:06.000 What would you give Biden as a grade?

00:44:07.000 You were a teacher for many years.

00:44:10.000 Okay.

00:44:12.000 Is there a minus, C minus, minus?

00:44:16.000 Yeah, I think it's called Nest.

00:44:20.000 They're all idiots.

00:44:22.000 I mean, you can't get anything more stupid than turtle.

00:44:27.000 Justin Trudeau, yes.

00:44:28.000 Justin Turdo.

00:44:30.000 Turtle.

00:44:31.000 The guy calls himself a teacher.

00:44:34.000 He was a drama teacher for two months.

00:44:37.000 And then he got fired for God knows what all.

00:44:40.000 I don't know.

00:44:42.000 I mean, why do we have leaders like this?

00:44:47.000 Two smart, advanced countries full of really smart people.

00:44:52.000 I know.

00:44:53.000 I mean, we spent four months, five months in America, in Florida.

00:44:59.000 I just don't get it.

00:45:01.000 The world has gone so crazy that we've now got leaders that are just not appropriate to what people want and need.

00:45:11.000 You know?

00:45:12.000 Do you want inflation?

00:45:14.000 Do you want to have no power?

00:45:16.000 You cancel.

00:45:18.000 What the?

00:45:20.000 She canceled the call.

00:45:21.000 She probably pushed a button or something.

00:45:24.000 The government is a little too hip to her truth.

00:45:27.000 I like, whenever I'm stalked by journalists too, they call, You know, they want to call your relatives and everything, and they find your wife's number and stuff.

00:45:34.000 I can't believe Biden's wife went to college.

00:45:39.000 That I could believe.

00:45:40.000 And she took philosophy.

00:45:44.000 So, where does she get the colossal nerve to be called a doctor? 1.00

00:45:49.000 Give me a early childhood education is her doctorate, and it's the lowest IQ PhD you can get.

00:45:56.000 I mean, how do you fuck it up?

00:45:57.000 Here's how five-year-olds should be educated.

00:46:00.000 How do you get that wrong?

00:46:02.000 How is she a doctor?

00:46:05.000 She needs a doctor. 1.00

00:46:06.000 So does he.

00:46:07.000 You ever see him coming off the going up the airplane?

00:46:11.000 Yes, he fell.

00:46:12.000 He falls when he walks.

00:46:14.000 They say he suffers from dementia.

00:46:16.000 I don't know if he does or not.

00:46:18.000 And he blames inflation on the Ukraine war.

00:46:23.000 Okay?

00:46:24.000 He's not doing nothing to lower gas prices.

00:46:28.000 The salaries suck.

00:46:31.000 Okay?

00:46:32.000 At least when Trump was president, people prospered.

00:46:36.000 And he wasn't scared to face the dictators.

00:46:41.000 You look like you're disappearing into that couch the way Homer Simpson disappears into that couch.

00:46:46.000 He disappeared to face the dictators.

00:46:48.000 He had gumption.

00:46:50.000 Biden couched them.

00:46:54.000 Biden tried to make a deal with Iran of all insulting things.

00:46:58.000 What is he, a retard? 1.00

00:47:01.000 Well, Obama's deal with Iran was particularly...

00:47:04.000 Well, Obama I could forgive because he was naive, but Clinton wasn't.

00:47:09.000 And they gave them so much money, American taxpayer money, then when the inspectors went to look at their plants, they said, oh, you could go to these, but not this one.

00:47:23.000 So we gave away money.

00:47:25.000 Why is it in this country, even many years ago, I believe it was the early 60s, Russia was starving.

00:47:32.000 We stunt potatoes.

00:47:34.000 Why in this country, other countries badmouth us, look down on us, but when they're in trouble, we're the first ones, they run to help, help, help.

00:47:44.000 What do we look like?

00:47:46.000 We look like pussies internationally.

00:47:49.000 Like saps.

00:47:50.000 You're like saps.

00:47:51.000 Like saps.

00:47:53.000 We had a message earlier that said hipster, hacker, hustler.

00:47:55.000 Explain that.

00:47:56.000 It's a thing I stole from some Japanese marketing guy. 0.95

00:47:59.000 I said, every successful company has to have a hipster, a hacker, and a hustler.

00:48:03.000 So the hipster is the guy who cares about all the culture and what's going on in the world and can tell you what LOL means when it first comes out.

00:48:11.000 That's important to have.

00:48:13.000 You need a hacker who can figure out why your machines don't work, why your message isn't getting out, why these cameras keep failing.

00:48:20.000 And then you need a hustler, which is like a sales guy who is going out there getting new clients and everything.

00:48:26.000 And people can be combinations.

00:48:28.000 Like Ryan and I are both hipsters in the sense that we're both heavily involved in pop culture.

00:48:36.000 But he's the hacker.

00:48:39.000 And then the hustler is a guy you guys don't know.

00:48:41.000 We have like a sales dude out there that we hired that handles all that.

00:48:44.000 And then we have the hacker, our tech dude.

00:48:48.000 But you need those three elements to have a successful business.

00:48:51.000 With Vice, I was the hipster, obviously.

00:48:55.000 Shane was the hustler.

00:48:57.000 And I guess Sarush was sort of the hacker.

00:49:00.000 I'm a hustler.

00:49:02.000 And I only hustle what I believe in.

00:49:05.000 I'm aggressive.

00:49:06.000 I always have been, always will.

00:49:08.000 Have you ever been to prison?

00:49:11.000 No, I had husbands who did heavy time.

00:49:17.000 Okay, let's take a Sejoran briefly over to FOP Medals.

00:49:21.000 Now, this is spelled P-H-A-U-P, not FOP, which is a derogatory term for wealthy Englishmen used mostly in Australia.

00:49:35.000 It's also used to refer to dandies.

00:49:39.000 Wait a minute.

00:49:40.000 Is that what Australians call Englishmen?

00:49:42.000 FOBS?

00:49:45.000 I don't know, maybe not.

00:49:46.000 But FOB, P-H-A-U-P, is a sponsor of ours.

00:49:51.000 They're going to make us their own coin, right?

00:49:54.000 Well, I thought that would be a good idea.

00:49:55.000 We're not sure yet.

00:49:57.000 Okay.

00:49:59.000 The economy could not be worse.

00:50:01.000 What's going on there with your shit there, Ryan?

00:50:03.000 Shit show.

00:50:06.000 Will you stop that fucking notification?

00:50:09.000 I'm not doing it on purpose.

00:50:10.000 It's running out of memory.

00:50:12.000 What?

00:50:12.000 Our computer.

00:50:14.000 How is your computer running out of memory?

00:50:15.000 Well, that's the old one.

00:50:16.000 The new one's doing it.

00:50:17.000 We clearly don't have a hacker on board here.

00:50:20.000 No.

00:50:22.000 So the economy is collapsing.

00:50:23.000 You know, when Biden was elected, my dad took all of his money out of his stocks and he put it in a bank.

00:50:29.000 And he lost, I think, 50 grand or something in actualized losses by cashing out.

00:50:34.000 And my brother and I mocked him.

00:50:36.000 We laughed in his face and he was very angry about it.

00:50:41.000 But, dude, you're showing all your work here behind us.

00:50:47.000 It turns out he was right.

00:50:48.000 The economy is so bad right now that it does make sense to have pulled your money out.

00:50:54.000 I don't know about now.

00:50:55.000 We have Bitcoin down to fucking zero.

00:50:57.000 But one thing that does not fluctuate is precious metals.

00:51:01.000 Go to FopMetals.com.

00:51:04.000 Use promo code GAVIN for 15% off.

00:51:07.000 And at least invest some money in silver.

00:51:12.000 At least have something tangible in your home that you know when the shit hits the fan, you can touch this currency.

00:51:19.000 You can hold it in your hand and know you're safe.

00:51:22.000 Fopmetals.com sends you silver at a reduced rate.

00:51:28.000 It is reliable and tangible in an era where nothing is real, in an era where clown world reigns supreme, where we have a new press secretary coming out, a black lesbian who is convinced that everything she looks at is racist. 0.91

00:51:45.000 And she'll be representing the president who cannot speak English.

00:51:49.000 And he talks about tasting anger over inflation.

00:51:53.000 That's the economy we're living in, a clown economy. 0.70

00:51:56.000 So buy something solid that you can touch, that You can safely know is there for you if the shit hits the fan.

00:52:03.000 You can go on the run, go on the lamb.

00:52:06.000 If we lose everything and it becomes Venezuela, you have silver. 0.92

00:52:11.000 Put all your life savings on it.

00:52:12.000 What?

00:52:13.000 They call it God's money.

00:52:15.000 God's money.

00:52:16.000 I wish the Federal Reserve was based on gold.

00:52:20.000 That would save everything.

00:52:22.000 But anyway, FOP Medals.

00:52:23.000 P-H-A-U-P-Medals.com.

00:52:26.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:52:28.000 We should have a Sylvia silver dollar.

00:52:31.000 Print-minted. 0.58

00:52:32.000 Sounds good to me.

00:52:34.000 I'm writing that down on my notes.

00:52:35.000 If FOP is going to make us silver, I want it to be Sylvia's face.

00:52:40.000 Yes.

00:52:42.000 A Sylvia coin.

00:52:44.000 Let's write that down.

00:52:45.000 I'm writing that down.

00:52:46.000 Sylvia dollars.

00:52:47.000 A Sylvia coin.

00:52:50.000 Invest in Sylvia.

00:52:52.000 What about gold?

00:52:54.000 I heard gold shot up in price.

00:52:57.000 They have gold on the side as well, I believe.

00:52:59.000 Oh, really?

00:53:00.000 Check that out on Florida.

00:53:00.000 Drop a little today.

00:53:02.000 Gold drop?

00:53:03.000 It was like $1,830 an ounce.

00:53:05.000 Good time to buy.

00:53:06.000 I know a guy who works at a factory where they make, I don't know, gold bars or they have gold.

00:53:11.000 And you go in there, they brush your whole body with like these metal detector things.

00:53:17.000 And then they scan your whole body.

00:53:19.000 You have to leave all your shit outside.

00:53:20.000 You put on like a bunny suit.

00:53:22.000 And then they weigh you when you go in and they weigh you when you go out.

00:53:27.000 Yeah, just in case you put a little fucking ring in your stinker. 0.95

00:53:31.000 That's a good band name.

00:53:33.000 Put a little ring in your stinker. 0.99

00:53:36.000 All right, let's take a call.

00:53:38.000 Fucking A. Take a fucking call.

00:53:43.000 So the show in Orlando is going to be fun.

00:53:46.000 Maddie will be there.

00:53:48.000 I will.

00:53:49.000 Sylvia Ideali would be there.

00:53:51.000 Where is this, Orlando?

00:53:53.000 Orlando, Florida, yeah.

00:53:55.000 Probably not.

00:53:56.000 I don't see you.

00:53:56.000 I'm going to leave Tinkerbell alone.

00:53:58.000 I left too many times.

00:54:00.000 It's hard to get you here to the studio.

00:54:03.000 Or I could take a train there with her.

00:54:07.000 I don't want the six-month-old, and I don't want the 79-year-old.

00:54:11.000 That's my baby.

00:54:14.000 So what I want to do is, this is how I picture it in my head.

00:54:19.000 Ryan comes out.

00:54:22.000 Great people.

00:54:24.000 He's doing his shit.

00:54:25.000 He has his phone doing his Snapchat face.

00:54:29.000 Behind you on the screen is you, but with the Trump face.

00:54:34.000 That's cool.

00:54:36.000 We must have the technology.

00:54:38.000 I think we do.

00:54:39.000 So people who look at you right there in front of them see you holding a phone going, bye-bye, home to mommy.

00:54:47.000 But we see Trump.

00:54:49.000 That would be amazing.

00:54:50.000 And then you introduce Josh Denny.

00:54:52.000 Then you come out and do the same thing as Jordan Peterson.

00:54:55.000 Introduce Kumia. 0.94

00:54:57.000 Then you come out as Jesse Lee Peterson.

00:54:59.000 Introduce me.

00:55:01.000 And then we all go backstage.

00:55:04.000 Then we come out.

00:55:04.000 We set up a table like Kill Tony.

00:55:08.000 And we all sit down and do a podcast just to show.

00:55:11.000 Maybe we also have the screen.

00:55:12.000 We can refer to pictures and videos.

00:55:14.000 Maybe highlights our favorite things of the past year.

00:55:18.000 Like, of course, for me, it's Eddie Gloud.

00:55:20.000 I watch that every day.

00:55:22.000 The myths and the legends and bear the brunt of it.

00:55:27.000 Privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

00:55:33.000 Had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

00:55:38.000 I hereby bet my fortune that those glasses are not prescription.

00:55:43.000 Damn!

00:55:46.000 He loves his little blue frames.

00:55:47.000 Maybe I'm naive, but I don't say that apologetically.

00:55:51.000 I believe the Washington insurrection, I don't believe Trump started it.

00:55:58.000 He was being patriotic.

00:56:00.000 He felt he was wrong.

00:56:01.000 He was angry.

00:56:03.000 I think the people that went ahead and twisted what he said, they twisted it.

00:56:09.000 They wanted an excuse.

00:56:11.000 Well, we got Lori Lightfoot calling for violence, demanding a revolution, and there's no ramifications.

00:56:19.000 Trump said very clearly, legally make your voices heard.

00:56:24.000 Legally.

00:56:25.000 He didn't ask for any storming of any capitalists.

00:56:27.000 No, he didn't.

00:56:28.000 And they always wanted to.

00:56:29.000 Although the way the cops let them in, it sure looked like the cops asked for it.

00:56:32.000 They blamed him unfairly.

00:56:35.000 He never got a good review from the press.

00:56:38.000 They always picture him out of president.

00:56:41.000 We have to do it.

00:56:42.000 They nailed it once again.

00:56:44.000 They didn't do it to Obama because Obama was our first black president.

00:56:50.000 Let's take a call and then we'll say thank you to Johnny Apple CBD and then we will sneak behind the paywall.

00:57:01.000 You know, stop all this free shit.

00:57:02.000 The people that you're kicking off, the freebies, this is what they had to say about you.

00:57:07.000 Gavin the demon.

00:57:09.000 You know that, right?

00:57:12.000 Whoa.

00:57:13.000 I like how efficient she is at taking the kinks out of her water bottle. 1.00

00:57:17.000 Gavin the demon.

00:57:18.000 You know that, right?

00:57:20.000 Boom.

00:57:21.000 Water bottle's brand new.

00:57:22.000 It's fucking nude.

00:57:23.000 One second, that water bottle is brand new.

00:57:26.000 All those hours of crinkles erased.

00:57:31.000 So we have our calls coming in, of course.

00:57:33.000 And the first two callers will have one, I think.

00:57:36.000 A beard vet.

00:57:37.000 A beard vet vet.

00:57:39.000 Gavin.

00:57:40.000 Am I on?

00:57:40.000 Yes.

00:57:41.000 Go ahead, call it.

00:57:42.000 All right.

00:57:43.000 Phil, you're an angel.

00:57:45.000 Ryan, you have sprinkles, but they're fecal sprinkles.

00:57:49.000 Maddie, I'm too scared to compliment or insult you, frankly.

00:57:52.000 Gavin, you are the modern-day Jesus Christ.

00:57:56.000 Today, I walked around a supermarket with my MAGA hat on, and what I the reason I did is I saw in the news, Kanye West is out of his mind, but no matter how crazy he is, he has a part that can recognize what's going on with the left.

00:58:11.000 And he said, the MAGA hat makes him feel like a superhero.

00:58:15.000 And when I heard that, I was like, I'm going to put it on because I didn't wear it except on 4th of July last year and see how it makes me feel.

00:58:21.000 And everyone started giving disgusting looks.

00:58:24.000 I got maybe two or three yells from cars on the street.

00:58:27.000 I was in San Diego.

00:58:30.000 And what I saw.

00:58:31.000 One of the yells like, fuck you!

00:58:34.000 Yes, yes, just fuck you and fuck Trump or Nazi.

00:58:38.000 Like two of those, two or three.

00:58:40.000 But what I recognized is, I think what I have, what I put the hat on, is it doesn't make me special, but what it makes me is, I think it emphasizes that I have freedom of thought.

00:58:51.000 And when people freak out and they're ingrained in Trump is a Nazi and whatever, the red hat symbolizes whatever they decipher Trump has, as Hitler and whatever.

00:59:03.000 But the red cat, for me, I felt like I was a superhero.

00:59:10.000 The red hat symbolized that I had freedom of thought.

00:59:12.000 And Gavin, I just want to know what your opinion is on that because also, obviously, I don't want to go to restaurants with the hat on.

00:59:19.000 You obviously get bit in your food all the time just being Gavin McKinnon.

00:59:23.000 So you have to be smart about it.

00:59:25.000 Yeah, I'm at the point now, and thanks for calling, where if people don't spit on my food, it tastes dry.

00:59:32.000 But it's amazing what that hat means.

00:59:34.000 What that hat really means today is, especially in a liberal city like New York or San Diego, it means I don't give a shit about your made-up hysteria.

00:59:45.000 That's what this means.

00:59:46.000 It means, I know you think this is racist.

00:59:49.000 I don't care what you think is racist.

00:59:51.000 It means I don't want three bathrooms.

00:59:56.000 And when you tell me why there should be a male and a female and a trans bathroom, instead of like most Americans, I'm going, okay, let me hear you out. 0.91

01:00:04.000 You might have a point.

01:00:05.000 I'm just going, no, no.

01:00:07.000 Like when Trump said, kept saying anchor babies, that the Univision, whatever journalist said, can you use a better term?

01:00:14.000 He said, what term?

01:00:15.000 And the guy said, I don't know, the undocumented workers of, no, the natural-born citizens of undocumented workers.

01:00:22.000 And Trump said, nah.

01:00:24.000 Now that nah is crucial. 0.90

01:00:27.000 Nah.

01:00:28.000 Nah.

01:00:29.000 That takes too long.

01:00:30.000 I'm going to say anchor babies.

01:00:31.000 The nah is what the red hat means.

01:00:34.000 It means, nah, I'm not listening to your like gender shit. 1.00

01:00:38.000 I'm not saying I'm against it or I'm offended by it or I want to argue with you about it.

01:00:44.000 We're not playing that.

01:00:45.000 No.

01:00:47.000 Nah.

01:00:48.000 No, I'm out.

01:00:50.000 Well, we want to have a cis-born male compete in a female swimming thing because she identifies as a woman.

01:00:58.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:01:00.000 No, we're not doing that.

01:01:01.000 We're not doing that.

01:01:02.000 Well, can we debate it?

01:01:03.000 No.

01:01:04.000 We're just not doing it.

01:01:05.000 Nothing to debate?

01:01:06.000 No.

01:01:06.000 Well, she's here.

01:01:08.000 The starting gun's about to go off.

01:01:10.000 Okay, well, hold on.

01:01:11.000 Let me grab him. 0.75

01:01:12.000 Hey, buddy.

01:01:12.000 Sorry.

01:01:12.000 We're not doing it.

01:01:13.000 No.

01:01:14.000 Get your hands off of me. 1.00

01:01:16.000 Okay, sorry.

01:01:16.000 Well, get back to the changing room and I'll get my hands off you.

01:01:20.000 But yeah, we're not.

01:01:21.000 That's what I love about the MAGA hat.

01:01:23.000 It's a non-statement.

01:01:24.000 And the way the left is now is, if you're not 100% with me, you're 100% against me.

01:01:29.000 So just by simply not joining their maniacal crusade, it's the most evil thing you could possibly do to them is to go, I don't even disagree with you.

01:01:40.000 I'm not getting involved.

01:01:42.000 Your thing is gay. 1.00

01:01:44.000 Your thing is retarded. 0.99

01:01:47.000 You talk like a fag and your shit is all retarded. 1.00

01:01:50.000 And I'm not paying any attention to your various new made-up rules that change on a daily basis.

01:01:58.000 Imagine being mad at someone for not...

01:02:01.000 It's like when I was a punk rocker as a teenager, me walking down the street and seeing people without mohawks and without bondage pants and going, what the fuck?

01:02:10.000 We're trying to have a revolution here.

01:02:13.000 And they're like, I'm just not into punk.

01:02:15.000 I think it's noisy.

01:02:16.000 Well, that's not true.

01:02:18.000 Fuck you.

01:02:20.000 What about bow wow wow?

01:02:21.000 They're musical.

01:02:22.000 There's a lot of poppy stuff within the punk genre.

01:02:26.000 Come on.

01:02:27.000 Come on board.

01:02:28.000 Nah.

01:02:29.000 Bow, wow, wow.

01:02:31.000 I'm not coming on board.

01:02:33.000 All right.

01:02:34.000 Last sponsor before we leave.

01:02:36.000 I don't like, by the way, Ryan, how Maddie and I are different sizes.

01:02:39.000 We look like different species.

01:02:42.000 Yeah.

01:02:43.000 Do you look a little pale?

01:02:45.000 No, you don't.

01:02:46.000 Yeah, normal color.

01:02:49.000 Johnny.

01:02:49.000 Wait, I smell weed.

01:02:52.000 It could be the Johnny Apple CBD that I've been puffing on.

01:02:55.000 Are you puffing on the Delta 8?

01:02:58.000 I make it a habit during the live show to take at least one little puff.

01:03:02.000 But isn't the Delta 8 super strong?

01:03:05.000 Yep.

01:03:06.000 So aren't you going to be too baked to work?

01:03:08.000 Might you do an even shittier job than you usually do?

01:03:11.000 Are you going to become shit show squared?

01:03:14.000 Let's see.

01:03:15.000 This is the stem to go.

01:03:17.000 You can recharge it, but it's a one-time use little just boppity boop.

01:03:21.000 And it's got super hemp in there. 0.58

01:03:22.000 It makes you feel good.

01:03:24.000 Super what?

01:03:25.000 Super hemp.

01:03:26.000 Super hemp in it.

01:03:27.000 Super hemp?

01:03:28.000 You bidened that.

01:03:29.000 You said it's got simohemp in it.

01:03:31.000 It's a blaze.

01:03:32.000 Oh, man.

01:03:32.000 I was the vice principal under Brock Toboggan.

01:03:34.000 And you got to try this nighttime tincture, man.

01:03:37.000 Come on in.

01:03:37.000 Come on, nighttime.

01:03:38.000 Taste it.

01:03:39.000 You can taste it.

01:03:40.000 You can taste that.

01:03:41.000 They have some, all this stuff is good.

01:03:43.000 And that shit tastes good.

01:03:44.000 The tincture?

01:03:44.000 A couple of drops under the tongue.

01:03:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:47.000 So, yes, Johnny Apple CBD.

01:03:49.000 I like the gummies at night.

01:03:50.000 They help me sleep.

01:03:52.000 Sometimes I sleep so hard that when I wake up in the middle of the night, my hands are tingling.

01:03:57.000 Not like pins and needles, but just like tingling.

01:03:59.000 You ever get that?

01:04:01.000 I get that when I drink a lot, too.

01:04:02.000 I wake up in the morning and my hands are tingling.

01:04:05.000 Do you ever get that?

01:04:06.000 Yeah, I've had that experience.

01:04:07.000 What is that?

01:04:09.000 I would say it's nerves or something.

01:04:11.000 Drinking cuts your sex urge.

01:04:14.000 Drinking cuts your sex urge?

01:04:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:04:17.000 How about it makes you last?

01:04:19.000 That's probably why your Puerto Rican colored guys last so long. 1.00

01:04:23.000 They're drunk.

01:04:24.000 No, they weren't drunk.

01:04:26.000 I never went to bed with a drunk man.

01:04:29.000 I don't mean shit face, but like...

01:04:31.000 I don't mean drunk.

01:04:32.000 No liquor in them.

01:04:34.000 Four drinks.

01:04:36.000 No, no liquor at all.

01:04:38.000 Really?

01:04:38.000 How about marijuana?

01:04:39.000 They don't have the same inhibitions like white dudes.

01:04:44.000 They do not have it.

01:04:46.000 What do you think marijuana does to the sex? 0.54

01:04:49.000 Latinos are very romantic.

01:04:52.000 They'll say verbally things to you to a woman where you want to open your legs like a butterfly. 1.00

01:04:59.000 Like what?

01:04:59.000 What would be a good quote?

01:05:02.000 Your vagina looks like two pink slugs making love in the night sky. 1.00

01:05:11.000 It's been so long I can't remember.

01:05:13.000 Okay, well, that would be a good one.

01:05:16.000 So, yeah, JohnnyApple CBD, johnnyapple.com, promo code Gavin.

01:05:21.000 We've got the cookies.

01:05:22.000 No longer make cookies, sorry.

01:05:24.000 We don't have the cookies anymore.

01:05:25.000 No.

01:05:26.000 We have the tincture you put in your coffee to take the edge off.

01:05:31.000 We have the CBD cream that you put on your muscles after, you know, remember you have a leg day at the gym and then going up and down the stairs is a fucking nightmare for the next 24 hours?

01:05:43.000 Not with the CBD ointment.

01:05:46.000 My wife will put it on her feet if she's going to go out on a date with me and wear high-heeled shoes all night. 1.00

01:05:52.000 She puts CBD in her Tootsies.

01:05:55.000 It makes the high-heel shoes more tolerable.

01:05:57.000 What's good about that, too, is it masks the pain, but it doesn't speed up the recovery process.

01:06:04.000 So if you were to take something that speeds up the recovery, now that your body's like, oh, I don't know if I'm Mike Myers every time you explain something.

01:06:16.000 We're going to watch The Pentavert?

01:06:18.000 Yeah.

01:06:19.000 Oh, we should all watch that together.

01:06:20.000 That should be an episode.

01:06:21.000 We'll watch The Pentavert.

01:06:23.000 You know what would be cool?

01:06:24.000 We watch it in this format.

01:06:26.000 Yeah.

01:06:27.000 That would be cool.

01:06:28.000 So like you sit there, Ryan sits there, I sit here, and we just go through it all.

01:06:33.000 I wonder how F we're going to do it now that they blocked us from capturing their screen, remember?

01:06:39.000 We'll figure out a way.

01:06:40.000 Yeah.

01:06:41.000 But we could put it on that TV and film it.

01:06:45.000 But I bet you that will end up being, with all the pauses, like four or five hours.

01:06:51.000 So we could play that if we're ever going to go away for like a week, we could play that in like four parts.

01:06:57.000 True dance.

01:06:58.000 Anyway, fun idea.

01:06:59.000 This is all in a commercial for johnnyapple.com.

01:07:02.000 Johnny Apple CBD.

01:07:04.000 Great guy, Johnny Appleseed.

01:07:06.000 You know, a lot of people think that he was planting apple trees because he loved apples and wanted people to make apple pies.

01:07:12.000 No.

01:07:13.000 He was a drug dealer, basically, and the drug was booze.

01:07:18.000 So he would go on the outskirts of the pioneer's land and predict what direction they're going to go in, like years ahead, plant apple trees.

01:07:27.000 By the time they got there, there'd be apple trees.

01:07:29.000 He'd sell them apples for cider.

01:07:31.000 They'd get drunk on the apple cider.

01:07:34.000 Because everyone was drinking booze back then.

01:07:36.000 Because life sucked.

01:07:37.000 Because we were at war with the Indians for 400 fucking years. 0.92

01:07:42.000 Instead of ripping down statues and everything, how about we go, wow, you guys went through some shit.

01:07:48.000 North and South.

01:07:49.000 We're very impressed that you got us here.

01:07:51.000 Thanks for that, great-great-grandpa.

01:07:53.000 As opposed to fucking ripping down Johnny Rebel.

01:07:57.000 You rip down that.

01:07:58.000 The way that statue in particular, the way it crumpled and curled in on itself, just with the gravity and the weight that they used.

01:08:06.000 It's like, this guy was conscripted.

01:08:08.000 Do you think he had slaves?

01:08:10.000 Slaves were Lamborghinis back then. 1.00

01:08:12.000 2% of the population had them.

01:08:15.000 You're beating the shit out of some poor schmuck who was 17 and got ripped off a farm and sent to die.

01:08:22.000 Fuck you, Nazi. 0.69

01:08:24.000 Anyway, I'm not sure Johnny Apple endorses all of these takes on Confederate history, but they do endorse a good time.

01:08:33.000 So just inhale and relax at johnnyapple.com.

01:08:37.000 All right.

01:08:39.000 That's enough for the freeloaders.

01:08:41.000 We are supposed to give them 30 minutes.

01:08:42.000 We gave them 70.

01:08:45.000 I can't believe we did that.

01:08:46.000 I feel dirty inside.

01:08:47.000 I feel like a whore.

01:08:49.000 I feel like a slut.

01:08:51.000 But we did squeeze in five sponsors.

01:08:54.000 So this is the way we end the show behind the paywall.

01:08:57.000 And by the way, the show is five days a week, Monday to Friday.

01:09:00.000 And then on Saturdays, I play reruns of my old show, which you haven't seen, which is called the Gavin McInnes Show.

01:09:06.000 And you can watch that and watch the Proud Boy slowly emerge from 2015 on.

01:09:13.000 So in the interim, when you're out there, don't be ashamed of who you are.

01:09:18.000 Don't hide it.

01:09:21.000 It could get you dumped.

01:09:22.000 It could get you ostracized from your friends.

01:09:25.000 If you say how you truly feel about things, you may even lose your job.

01:09:28.000 Now, don't go out of your way to lose your job.

01:09:31.000 But if hiding and never saying what you mean in a very diplomatic and fair and legal fashion is going to get you fired, well then fuck that job.

01:09:41.000 It's not for you.

01:09:42.000 You'll get cancer if you stay bottled up and never say what's on your mind.

01:09:47.000 You should say what's on your mind.

01:09:50.000 Defend yourself.

01:09:51.000 Be rational.

01:09:52.000 Don't say stupid shit like I want to fuck kids and blacks should go back to Africa. 0.67

01:09:58.000 If that's how you feel, you're a retard and you shouldn't just shut up. 0.99

01:10:01.000 You should kill yourself.

01:10:03.000 But for the rest of us sane people, speak rationally.

01:10:07.000 State your case.

01:10:09.000 Get fired.

01:10:10.000 Get in trouble.

01:10:11.000 Be brave.

01:10:13.000 And never stop fighting.

01:10:16.000 It's just us now.

01:10:19.000 We're all alone.

01:10:23.000 Bye-bye.

01:10:33.000 I'm out of here, buddy.

01:10:37.000 Hey, little radiator. 0.96

01:10:48.000 Ain't nobody get in time for this.

01:11:00.000 I'm done here.

01:11:04.000 I wanna go.

01:11:07.000 Hey, little radiator. 0.96

01:11:12.000 I forgot to say this in front of the paywall.

01:11:15.000 Our buddy Geyser.

01:11:17.000 Proud Boy.

01:11:19.000 Five points.

01:11:20.000 From the Five Points.

01:11:20.000 Well, it's what it's on my computer here.

01:11:23.000 Nice.

01:11:23.000 Five points MYC Proud Boys.

01:11:25.000 Hey, Ryan, you pull that up?

01:11:29.000 But If she said he watches every week, he's probably a freeloader who just watches on the free show, so he's going to miss this.

01:11:36.000 No.

01:11:37.000 No?

01:11:38.000 I don't think they would be.

01:11:40.000 Okay.

01:11:42.000 Geyser, good luck with you.

01:11:44.000 Geyser, good luck.

01:11:46.000 Work hard.

01:11:46.000 Bust your ass.

01:11:48.000 You can do this.

01:11:49.000 Proud of your boy.

01:11:53.000 I'd love to join the army, especially when they try to break you.

01:11:57.000 I would never break you.

01:11:57.000 You break down and build you back up.

01:12:00.000 It's fun talking to Joe Biggs and Ethan Nordine on the phone and John and Max because they're just like, they're never fucking breaking me.

01:12:09.000 Never.

01:12:09.000 And Joe Biggs especially, he goes, I read sometimes a book a day.

01:12:14.000 He's read 200 books since he's been in there.

01:12:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:17.000 And he's like, and I'm telling you, they're never going to break me.

01:12:21.000 And I'm saying it now to you because I know they're listening to this call.

01:12:24.000 Oh, I'm hoping.

01:12:25.000 And I want them to know that I could be here for the rest of my life.

01:12:29.000 It's kind of weird that I've got that black dude right in my ear. 0.99

01:12:37.000 Isn't that a weird placement for him?

01:12:40.000 I know that guy.

01:12:40.000 I've met him a few times.

01:12:42.000 He's a Long Island dude.

01:12:44.000 He wears like 14 whole Dr. Martins.

01:12:48.000 So yeah, guys, congratulations.

01:12:50.000 I hope you're seeing this because we were told you only watched the Thursday show and then the three show.

01:12:55.000 All the best.

01:12:58.000 Let's do another letter, shall we?

01:13:00.000 Sure.

01:13:02.000 Guy knocks out a female after 12.

01:13:05.000 Now, I have a very controversial view on hitting a woman. 0.99

01:13:09.000 I think it's acceptable if she hit you 12 times.

01:13:15.000 How do you feel about that, Maddie?

01:13:19.000 I would probably restrain her and subdue her. 1.00

01:13:21.000 I don't know if I would actually, like, cold cock her. 0.94

01:13:24.000 Yeah, that's another thing, too.

01:13:26.000 Like, I had a fight once with this girl where she would be punching me, and she was giving good punches. 1.00

01:13:32.000 And I would just go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

01:13:36.000 And then at 12, I would go, boom, and just punch her here in the chest. 0.97

01:13:40.000 She'd go flying across the room, and then she'd come back and do the same thing again. 0.99

01:13:45.000 Yeah.

01:13:45.000 She had a big black bruise.

01:13:46.000 I would definitely restrain her or subdue her so that she would no longer be able to strike me. 0.99

01:13:51.000 Okay, so now you're like on top of her and she's squiggling around and then she's going to get up and just keep punching. 1.00

01:13:58.000 You could do a little bit.

01:13:59.000 If you want to act like a man, you're going to get hit like a man. 0.94

01:14:03.000 Playtime's over.

01:14:05.000 Well, this particular guy, he took 18 hits and then knocked her out.

01:14:13.000 Let's see.

01:14:14.000 Sylvia, can you see this monitor when we play this video?

01:14:16.000 No, I can see it.

01:14:18.000 Tell me what you think if this is acceptable or not.

01:14:20.000 All right.

01:14:21.000 It's pretty rich, but on the other hand, go full screen on that, Ryan, because you got to watch the details.

01:14:28.000 Okay.

01:14:29.000 Don't hit my fucking phone, you fucking piece of shit. 0.71

01:14:32.000 Don't fucking come in.

01:14:33.000 Fucking eat her and fucking piece. 0.99

01:14:35.000 Yeah.

01:14:37.000 Take my fucking glasses and break it.

01:14:40.000 You're punching me.

01:14:42.000 Really, Nate.

01:14:44.000 She punched me! 1.00

01:14:46.000 You need to back the fuck off, Veda. 0.97

01:14:48.000 You don't feel no remorse.

01:14:51.000 You literally are here to use this girl.

01:14:56.000 To use her.

01:14:57.000 You don't feel nothing for her, and I just knocked her out, alright?

01:15:01.000 Yeah.

01:15:01.000 And she went down.

01:15:03.000 Yeah, you knocked her out on camera. 1.00

01:15:07.000 Everyone here is wasting their minds.

01:15:10.000 It's like a daycare.

01:15:12.000 I mean, I could go either way on that.

01:15:15.000 I could go, fuck you, you piece of shit. 1.00

01:15:18.000 The punches were obviously not doing any damage to him.

01:15:22.000 She's not doing anything to him.

01:15:24.000 He couldn't step backwards.

01:15:25.000 She couldn't hit him.

01:15:26.000 He's still like in the car.

01:15:27.000 Okay.

01:15:28.000 Yeah.

01:15:29.000 They weren't like, you know, sizing up punches.

01:15:32.000 They were like, book, book, book, book, boom.

01:15:34.000 It doesn't matter.

01:15:35.000 Once you start hitting a man, you deserve to get hit.

01:15:38.000 You want to act like a man, you're going to be treated like a man.

01:15:42.000 Okay, so officially the vote is Sylvia says that bitch had it coming. 1.00

01:15:46.000 She got what she deserved.

01:15:47.000 And Maddie's saying, no, you didn't have to do that.

01:15:51.000 Equal rights, equal fights, bitch. 1.00

01:15:53.000 What about you, Ryan?

01:15:54.000 What do you think?

01:15:55.000 Not only did he do the right thing, I think Veda should have gotten some, too.

01:16:00.000 That was a lot of punches.

01:16:01.000 I have a controversial take on this, and I don't think anyone's going to agree with me, but I think after he knocked her out, he should have pulled down her pants and raped her.

01:16:09.000 That's a good point.

01:16:10.000 That's a good point.

01:16:11.000 I'm saying.

01:16:12.000 I think he should have raped her when she was down.

01:16:14.000 Because the door was in between them.

01:16:17.000 She's bad news.

01:16:18.000 Why rape her? 1.00

01:16:19.000 Girlfriend bring her there? 1.00

01:16:20.000 Why rape her, period? 1.00

01:16:22.000 I don't know.

01:16:22.000 She's bad news.

01:16:23.000 Contact her.

01:16:24.000 She damaged goods to begin with. 0.99

01:16:26.000 I wouldn't rape her, period.

01:16:27.000 That would be gross.

01:16:28.000 No.

01:16:29.000 Yeah.

01:16:29.000 She doesn't deserve it.

01:16:31.000 Here's a letter here that says, some racist shit from a mixed blue check. 1.00

01:16:36.000 Blue check.

01:16:37.000 Okay, that's a good term.

01:16:39.000 Someone has a blue check on Twitter.

01:16:41.000 Maybe it's just me, but as a mixed race woman, one of the things I struggle with is loathing my whiteness.

01:16:48.000 I've witnessed and experienced so much hate and conditional love/slash support from my white household and upbringing that I've developed an internal self-loathing that I work on every day.

01:17:00.000 Meanwhile, you're just a fucking white chick, Dylan Gonzalez. 1.00

01:17:05.000 Like all of these fucking brunettes, calling themselves women of color because they have a slightly weird last name. 1.00

01:17:12.000 I'm so bored of this.

01:17:13.000 You're a brunette. 1.00

01:17:15.000 You're Veronica in Betty and Veronica.

01:17:18.000 The clan would have no idea who you were.

01:17:21.000 It just makes no sense to me.

01:17:22.000 Like people like that, why would you...

01:17:27.000 That's what...

01:17:28.000 Why do you got to bring that all day long that you're half white and you loathe? 1.00

01:17:32.000 Well, why do you got to bring that in to begin with?

01:17:35.000 Yeah, like, you don't pick.

01:17:36.000 Why do you got to play the rice card?

01:17:39.000 The rice card.

01:17:40.000 I play the rice card.

01:17:42.000 I play the rice card every time I have sushi.

01:17:44.000 It's true.

01:17:47.000 Look her up, though.

01:17:48.000 Who's Dylan Gonzalez?

01:17:49.000 I see this bitch. 1.00

01:17:51.000 Fucking.

01:17:52.000 Who the fuck?

01:17:53.000 Get it?

01:17:53.000 Fucking...

01:17:54.000 Dylan Gonzalez.

01:17:55.000 Dyl Gons or Two Gons? 0.88

01:17:58.000 Does she have any hits I'd know?

01:18:01.000 See, this is why we need it.

01:18:02.000 This is where Ryan should be the hipster and know all this.

01:18:05.000 Ryan, what is the drip doctor?

01:18:07.000 The drip doctor?

01:18:08.000 Probably a doctor that checks up on your style. 0.99

01:18:12.000 Or he comes and fixes it.

01:18:14.000 Yes.

01:18:16.000 Oh.

01:18:16.000 54,000 followers?

01:18:18.000 I mean, that's.

01:18:19.000 I just barfed three times.

01:18:20.000 Yo, that's crazy.

01:18:23.000 Does she have a video?

01:18:25.000 Oh, she's a singer? 1.00

01:18:36.000 She says Trey Songs is racist.

01:18:39.000 So he's black.

01:18:42.000 Anyway, let's take a call.

01:18:44.000 I'm getting annoyed by this entire universe.

01:18:47.000 Yeah.

01:18:47.000 Meaning the world of Dylan Gonzalez and Trey Songs.

01:18:50.000 Dylan Gonzalez.

01:18:53.000 All right.

01:18:53.000 541, you're on the line.

01:18:55.000 And you won also beard vet stuff.

01:18:59.000 What's going on, 541?

01:19:02.000 I couldn't remember earlier.

01:19:05.000 That thing, Black Lives Matter. 0.51

01:19:07.000 Hold on, Carler.

01:19:08.000 Sylvia has something to say.

01:19:09.000 Black lives matter.

01:19:11.000 That's a bullshit thing.

01:19:13.000 I was in New Rochelle Hospital.

01:19:15.000 A technician, I said to him, oh, black lives matter? 1.00

01:19:19.000 White lives don't matter. 1.00

01:19:21.000 In God's eyes, all lives matter.

01:19:24.000 He shot me a dirty look.

01:19:26.000 That was his answer to me.

01:19:28.000 Thank you for that, Sylvia.

01:19:30.000 Go ahead, Carler.

01:19:33.000 Yeah, when Ryan first started doing his impressions, I thought he sucked.

01:19:37.000 But man, I'll have to say he's getting pretty good and maybe even getting to the level of like Kyle Dunnegan.

01:19:45.000 He did his Owen Benjamin last week, and Owen Benjamin, first thing Monday morning, said that he saw Ryan's impression, and he said he loved it, and he thought it was really good.

01:19:58.000 Dude, it was really good.

01:19:59.000 Like, he gets me.

01:20:01.000 Have you ever interviewed Owen Benjamin or dealt with him much, Gab?

01:20:08.000 Yeah, we had him on the show and shit a hundred times.

01:20:10.000 If you search, you know, Owen Benjamin on the site.

01:20:13.000 Have you subscribed to censored.tv?

01:20:17.000 Yeah, I'm subscribed.

01:20:18.000 I mean, that's why I was curious.

01:20:20.000 Get searching, buddy.

01:20:20.000 It's there.

01:20:21.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:20:22.000 Yeah, dude.

01:20:24.000 I'm glad he brought that up.

01:20:26.000 He really liked it.

01:20:28.000 Your gay little pastor gave you a binder and molested you on a field trip? 0.53

01:20:32.000 This is not the right place for that.

01:20:33.000 That sounds like an Owen Benjamin imitation.

01:20:35.000 Yeah, it does.

01:20:37.000 Let's talk about how Ryan is.

01:20:38.000 Neither of the Angels nor the Saxons I've met have free will, haha. 0.98

01:20:41.000 That's one of the seven deadly sins.

01:20:43.000 So, Mr. Krabs is greed.

01:20:45.000 Clearly, clearly greed, dude.

01:20:48.000 Dude, he's a grabbler.

01:20:49.000 Wow.

01:20:51.000 He's a grabbler.

01:20:52.000 Oh, he's a grabbler.

01:21:02.000 He's always eating stuff.

01:21:05.000 In season four's, have you seen it?

01:21:07.000 He breaks down how I break him down.

01:21:12.000 Because he's just nailing how I think.

01:21:14.000 Like, the mockery, which is deserved, is that I'll come up with a new bizarre theory and act like it's super obvious for everyone.

01:21:23.000 I get that.

01:21:24.000 That's a funny thing to point out about me.

01:21:27.000 Where I'm like, dude, it's always been in plain sight.

01:21:29.000 I mean, it's so obvious.

01:21:30.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:21:31.000 It's one thing to imitate someone.

01:21:33.000 Imitate someone?

01:21:34.000 Wow.

01:21:35.000 Very difficult to imitate.

01:21:38.000 But it's another thing to grasp the patterns of what they say, which is what you said earlier about Biden, to try to come up with the next Bidenism.

01:21:47.000 Like, would you rather be in jail for a month or be in jail until you can come up with the next Bidenism?

01:21:53.000 I'm going to take the 30 days, thanks.

01:21:55.000 Oh, that one I'll take the 30 days.

01:21:56.000 I'll be at Rikers.

01:21:57.000 I'll mind my own beeswax.

01:21:59.000 I'll play Scrabble with the COs.

01:22:01.000 I'll try not to get in any fights.

01:22:04.000 I'll mind my business at the shower, but I'll meet people's eyes in the shower and make it clear I'm not a victim.

01:22:11.000 But yeah, it could be a thousand years.

01:22:13.000 Because every single one of them, you go, what?

01:22:19.000 I can taste your outrage at inflation.

01:22:26.000 Inflation tastes like shit.

01:22:27.000 I mean, go back to the hairy legs.

01:22:30.000 Hairy legs.

01:22:31.000 Would you rather do a year in prison or stay until you can come up with, or you can guess that he's going to talk about how when he worked as a, no, when he was sitting in the pool, not when he's a lifeguard, that's a whole other thing with corn pop.

01:22:45.000 The kids would smooth down his leg hairs.

01:22:47.000 I don't even believe that, by the way.

01:22:50.000 Disturbing.

01:22:51.000 Kids don't do that. 1.00

01:22:52.000 Like, kids don't play with your leg hairs.

01:22:55.000 It's not a thing.

01:22:56.000 Disturbing.

01:22:57.000 Kids don't get into the nuances of adult bodies.

01:23:01.000 Like, I've got a fucking big mustache.

01:23:04.000 Maybe when my kids were babies, they might like grab my beard a little bit.

01:23:09.000 But kids don't really like, or they'll grab your glasses when they're babies.

01:23:13.000 But kids don't really get into like your ear holes and stuff when they're more than like one.

01:23:19.000 Yeah.

01:23:19.000 They don't play with your leg hairs.

01:23:23.000 That's like saying, kids used to put the sugar cubes in between my toes.

01:23:30.000 What?

01:23:30.000 Leg bears.

01:23:32.000 Kids are not into adults and the nuances of their bodies.

01:23:37.000 Wait a minute.

01:23:37.000 Maybe we've just stumbled across some weird pedo shit.

01:23:42.000 Yeah, it always sounded pedo-y to me.

01:23:43.000 I was like, they play with your hairs and you're talking about it?

01:23:47.000 Like, think about when you're a little kid, your dad's leg hairs, you're just like, ugh.

01:23:51.000 Like, get my dad out of here.

01:23:53.000 He's gross.

01:23:54.000 It's disturbing.

01:23:56.000 I still am freaked out by human feet because my dad's fucking toes were so disgusting because he was so poor when he was a kid.

01:24:03.000 His toes were like folded up upon themselves because he had small shoes.

01:24:08.000 And today it looks like Chinese footbinding.

01:24:10.000 I cannot look at it.

01:24:12.000 And he wants to see anyone else's feet.

01:24:14.000 That's why I can't watch MMA.

01:24:15.000 There's too many fucking toes.

01:24:20.000 Toe bear.

01:24:23.000 He gave me a good compliment.

01:24:24.000 He said, good impressions are about the internal world of the person, and you're really good at That.

01:24:30.000 And he sort of shits on Alex Klein, which is kind of funny and unnecessary.

01:24:35.000 He's like, see, dude, Alex, like, he talks about Hillary Clinton.

01:24:38.000 Like, dude, I don't get into that.

01:24:40.000 Like, I'm not paranoid.

01:24:41.000 But, like, Ryan gets me, dude.

01:24:43.000 And he's like, he called him a huck Finn or something.

01:24:47.000 He's like, it's basically just like a light-hearted insult.

01:24:51.000 But we're happy here.

01:24:52.000 He's already.

01:24:53.000 He's alright.

01:24:54.000 And I sent it to him because Alex was pumped.

01:24:56.000 He's a big fan of Big Bear.

01:24:57.000 And before we did the interview, he was like, so, what, we don't like Owen?

01:25:01.000 We're making fun of Owen?

01:25:02.000 I was like, no, I love Owen.

01:25:04.000 We're also just doing a best form of flattery imitation.

01:25:07.000 You see, it was on TV.

01:25:09.000 The Secret Service that used to work for her and Bill Clinton.

01:25:14.000 He said they used to have tremendous arguments, Bill Clinton and his charming wife, Hillary.

01:25:20.000 She gave him a black eye. 0.98

01:25:22.000 She broke her bars. 0.99

01:25:24.000 And that she has a terrible violent streak in her.

01:25:30.000 Yeah, she gave him a black eye, and then the Clintons gave America a black eye. 1.00

01:25:36.000 But two wrongs don't make a right.

01:25:39.000 Exactly.

01:25:39.000 We don't want either.

01:25:43.000 Here's a letter, must read trans posts.

01:25:45.000 What's up, fags? 1.00

01:25:47.000 Me and Buddy had the best time reading these two posts.

01:25:50.000 Absolutely hysterical.

01:25:52.000 It reads like satire, but this whole subreddit is full of these brain twisters.

01:25:56.000 Would love to hear y'all go through these.

01:25:58.000 So here's one.

01:25:59.000 I guess the reddit is called Ask Transgender.

01:26:03.000 And the first one is, how can I tell trans women to fuck off with their silencing me as a trans man while avoiding trans misogyny? 0.55

01:26:15.000 Okay, there's so many like two negatives to make a positive here.

01:26:18.000 So how can I tell trans women, so that's a dude. 0.97

01:26:21.000 So how can I tell gays to fuck off with their silencing of me as a lesbian while avoiding whatever?

01:26:29.000 That's really just a lesbian saying she wants to tell gays to fuck off as they both compete to be something they're not. 1.00

01:26:35.000 And then the content of the thing is, had a couple trans women recently who told me it's not my place to talk about abortion or that I need to sit down and listen because of my male privilege.

01:26:47.000 Meanwhile, they don't have vaginas and she does. 1.00

01:26:52.000 Had another respond to me, basically making it about her and how I need to be more sensitive about triggering pregnancy dysphoria.

01:27:00.000 Well, fuck me for needing support around the fact that there are a fuck ton of people in the world who want to make me into a forced incubator.

01:27:08.000 I literally have a uterus and can get pregnant.

01:27:11.000 My privilege ain't saving me from shit here.

01:27:13.000 I felt totally silenced and felt like I didn't know what to do because honestly, in my head, I was just so fucking angry.

01:27:20.000 I knew whatever I said next would be something I regret.

01:27:24.000 So I'd like to figure out beforehand how to respond to this kind of thing in a dignified manner, but I'm pretty fucking socially in that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:27:30.000 Well, yeah, you're mentally ill if you're trans. 1.00

01:27:32.000 Her male privilege.

01:27:33.000 Yeah.

01:27:34.000 So two guys in drag are talking about how important it is to have abortion rights, even though they have dicks.

01:27:42.000 They're yelling at a lesbian with a fake mustache who's sitting there going, I care about abortion. 1.00

01:27:48.000 And then they tell her to shut up because it's the ladies are talking. 1.00

01:27:54.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:27:55.000 The ladies with dicks are talking. 1.00

01:27:56.000 So shut up, dude, with a vagina. 1.00

01:27:59.000 It's almost like a little puzzle, these fucking things.

01:28:02.000 I don't have the capacity in my brain to digest that.

01:28:06.000 Here's another one.

01:28:07.000 Is it transphobic that I'm happy my boyfriend is AFAP? 1.00

01:28:11.000 Now, I had to look this up.

01:28:12.000 What the fuck is that?

01:28:14.000 It's assigned female at birth.

01:28:18.000 So me and my boyfriend who has a vagina, right? 1.00

01:28:23.000 So this is like Gigi Gorgeous.

01:28:27.000 Is it transphobic that I'm happy my boyfriend?

01:28:29.000 So just basically, let's just say, instead of my boyfriend is Afab, just say, my girlfriend.

01:28:37.000 Me and my girlfriend and both...

01:28:39.000 Wait, pull it up, Brian, and I'll speak it there.

01:28:43.000 You keep pulling up that Sylvia and her dog thing.

01:28:46.000 It's been pulled up 100 times now.

01:28:48.000 We got it.

01:28:50.000 Think about my baby.

01:28:52.000 Yes.

01:28:52.000 When I left it tonight, I never heard her.

01:28:55.000 She's 15 years old, April 12th.

01:28:58.000 She cried fiercely, and she wanted Gavin.

01:29:02.000 She recognized him as a true Republican.

01:29:05.000 She barked. 0.98

01:29:06.000 She wanted him to pick her up.

01:29:08.000 But she bit me when I went to touch her. 0.99

01:29:10.000 Well, because she doesn't know you.

01:29:14.000 She doesn't know if you're a Biden fan or a Trump fan.

01:29:18.000 Okay.

01:29:19.000 But she recognized me as a Republican and she knew me.

01:29:21.000 Yeah.

01:29:22.000 All right.

01:29:23.000 So let me, you can pull it up in the original format, and I'm going to translate it into English, okay?

01:29:28.000 So me and my girlfriend are both hypersexual, and we fuck a lot.

01:29:33.000 And because of this, I tend to think to myself, I'm happy that she's got a pussy for the sole reason that considering how much sex we have, he would have undoubtedly, she would have gotten me pregnant. 0.94

01:29:47.000 Oh, so it's just a lesbian. 1.00

01:29:50.000 So it's a lesbian saying, is it transphobic that I enjoy my lesbian relationship?

01:29:54.000 Lesbian.

01:29:56.000 Here, you can't buy condoms until you're 18, so that wouldn't have been an option.

01:29:59.000 The pill isn't either.

01:30:00.000 I've shared this with her, and she agrees with me saying it would have been a mess.

01:30:05.000 But I'm starting to think this is a transphobic mindset.

01:30:08.000 I'm sorry.

01:30:09.000 Jesus Christ.

01:30:10.000 Where in the world can't you buy a condom until you're 18?

01:30:14.000 Yeah, Salt Lake City, maybe?

01:30:16.000 Everywhere.

01:30:20.000 They're impossible to avoid.

01:30:23.000 All right, let's take a call.

01:30:26.000 Have there been any $100 super chats I haven't read?

01:30:28.000 I will check.

01:30:30.000 So far we have Daniel on the line, 260.

01:30:32.000 You're on the line.

01:30:33.000 What's up, Daniel 260?

01:30:41.000 Hey, dude, I just wanted to say your superware can only rust if you have a well.

01:30:51.000 Hard water.

01:30:53.000 Hard water.

01:30:54.000 You know who has a well?

01:30:56.000 Who?

01:30:57.000 Nobody.

01:30:59.000 I do.

01:31:00.000 You get 100% of your water from your own well?

01:31:04.000 Yes, I do.

01:31:05.000 Okay, you're a freak.

01:31:07.000 I grew up with well water.

01:31:08.000 You should be in Ripley's, believe it or not.

01:31:11.000 That's fucking rare.

01:31:12.000 I think your house upstate probably had a well.

01:31:15.000 Well, maybe a well for like the entire street.

01:31:17.000 It's not uncommon.

01:31:19.000 It's very common.

01:31:20.000 Yeah, but I grew up in the city, and I never had rusty silverware.

01:31:25.000 So there's something with the city water.

01:31:26.000 Huh.

01:31:27.000 Well, it's got a ton of chlorine in it.

01:31:30.000 Got fluoride and shit.

01:31:32.000 Yeah.

01:31:33.000 Got fucking fluoride.

01:31:35.000 That's one thing I don't agree with.

01:31:38.000 What?

01:31:39.000 Go ahead.

01:31:40.000 There's fucking fluoride in the water.

01:31:42.000 It's turned the frogs gate.

01:31:43.000 Yeah, good.

01:31:44.000 There is some fluoride in Britain and Japan's water, and their teeth make homeless people look like they're in an ad for Kogate. 0.75

01:31:53.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:31:55.000 Turns the frogs gate.

01:31:56.000 Yeah, a toast to baby monsters.

01:31:58.000 Here's to each one of you finding a wife that will look you straight in the face and ask, so what?

01:32:03.000 Who's John Floyd?

01:32:05.000 As did mine during the peak melee of the 2020 BLM riots.

01:32:10.000 John Floyd.

01:32:11.000 John Floyd.

01:32:12.000 Wait, we should make shirts.

01:32:14.000 Oh my God.

01:32:15.000 Can we make tribute shirts that say it's like the graffiti, you know, hood tribute shirts?

01:32:22.000 It's a John Floyd, but it's his face.

01:32:25.000 Yeah, you know what would be funny?

01:32:27.000 You have a George Floyd shirt.

01:32:28.000 It says R.A.P. John Floyd.

01:32:31.000 And then people come up to you and like, what the fuck, man?

01:32:34.000 And you go, what's the matter?

01:32:35.000 They go, it's George Floyd, motherfucker.

01:32:37.000 And you go, oh, my God, I had...

01:32:41.000 I can't believe I didn't notice that.

01:32:43.000 Holy shit.

01:32:46.000 Dude, that would be awesome.

01:32:47.000 I tried Sylv's sex advice.

01:32:49.000 It didn't go great.

01:32:51.000 Sylvia, we have a super chat here.

01:32:54.000 Someone called in.

01:32:55.000 They said they've tried your sex advice since we started the show.

01:32:59.000 I guess they sucked on some toes. 0.95

01:33:02.000 And they said it didn't go great.

01:33:04.000 Well, they didn't do it right.

01:33:05.000 In the ear?

01:33:06.000 They didn't do it well.

01:33:07.000 They tried the dick on the throat, dick in the ear. 1.00

01:33:09.000 You got to get the feeling.

01:33:12.000 You got to get the mood.

01:33:14.000 And you've got to do light touching, very not rough touching, like you're grabbing a piece of meat.

01:33:20.000 You do light strokes.

01:33:24.000 That is probably what happened.

01:33:26.000 He didn't do light enough strokes.

01:33:28.000 Like you're stroking a pussycat or your dog or your favorite doll when you were a little kid.

01:33:36.000 Or if you were a boy, your Superman doll.

01:33:40.000 So you should touch a woman's body, her tits and everything, the same way you would touch a Superman doll. 0.99

01:33:46.000 Yeah, lightly.

01:33:47.000 Light strokes, like you're painting.

01:33:50.000 Light strokes.

01:33:51.000 Light.

01:33:53.000 Light and caressing.

01:33:55.000 There you go.

01:33:59.000 Gently touch the Superman cape smoothly with your fingertips.

01:34:05.000 Go get Lex Luthor, Superman.

01:34:07.000 Light strokes.

01:34:08.000 Save Lois Lane.

01:34:10.000 Very essential.

01:34:12.000 Lois Lane is dying.

01:34:15.000 It works.

01:34:17.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryan, Maddie, and Sill.

01:34:19.000 On Jacob's most recent show, he's talking, of course, of Jacob Wall, he implied that men who make sexual innuendo jokes with another are likely closeted gay men.

01:34:31.000 Uh-oh, that's about 88% of my jokes.

01:34:36.000 14% to 88% of my jokes.

01:34:38.000 Sexual innuendo jokes.

01:34:39.000 Do you have any other shows on your network hosted by very straight guys who work out shirtless on OnlyFans for hundreds of gay men?

01:34:47.000 Ryan, you should do that.

01:34:49.000 I should.

01:34:50.000 Dude, you would get tons of money.

01:34:51.000 On my cameo, you could ask me to do whatever.

01:34:54.000 Wink, wink.

01:34:57.000 How many cameos have you done?

01:34:59.000 Twink, twink? 0.95

01:35:00.000 I've done, I want to say 80 or 60.

01:35:04.000 And how much do you get per one?

01:35:07.000 Cameo takes a cut, so I get about fucking I set it at 30. 0.97

01:35:14.000 The price is 30, so I probably get like 26 or something like that.

01:35:17.000 And then if people buy it on the app, it takes $10 away from that, so $16.

01:35:22.000 So that sucks.

01:35:23.000 How do they not buy it on the app?

01:35:25.000 Just go to the actual site, like even on your phone or something like that.

01:35:28.000 Just look up the website and do it.

01:35:29.000 Okay, so I only care about how much you gross. 0.93

01:35:31.000 So 30 times, what would you say, 65?

01:35:36.000 1950.

01:35:37.000 I've done 69.

01:35:38.000 So I've made $1,900.

01:35:40.000 You made about two grand?

01:35:41.000 $1,900?

01:35:43.000 And it's really all thanks to you.

01:35:44.000 I don't think people would have known me, obviously, if it wasn't for you.

01:35:46.000 But remember when I guess-hosted your show?

01:35:48.000 I got like 2,000 followers that day on my original Twitter.

01:35:52.000 Well, really back.

01:35:53.000 That's funny.

01:35:53.000 It's funny that you got 2,000 followers because I got zero cares.

01:35:57.000 And yeah, and that.

01:35:58.000 Fucks given zero. 1.00

01:36:02.000 That was rude.

01:36:04.000 He adds, there's a swamp behind my local truck stop, and I was thinking of letting truckers shoot scorching hot ropes of calm into the bog while admiring my asshole to make up for telling me my friend he was a hottie. 0.62

01:36:14.000 That's funny.

01:36:15.000 Who's this?

01:36:16.000 We have Laura on the line.

01:36:17.000 Oh, wait, we got a caller here.

01:36:18.000 Mercedes.

01:36:20.000 Oh.

01:36:20.000 Sorry, Laura, put you back on hold.

01:36:24.000 An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

01:36:29.000 This call is not private.

01:36:30.000 It will be recorded and may be monitored.

01:36:32.000 If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.

01:36:39.000 To accept this free call, press 1 to refuse the thank you for using Securis.

01:36:44.000 You may start the conversation now.

01:36:46.000 Hey, Mercedes, you're on the air.

01:36:49.000 Oh, fantastic.

01:36:50.000 Hi, everybody.

01:36:52.000 How are you doing?

01:36:54.000 I'm in jail.

01:36:55.000 I know.

01:36:56.000 It's such a generic question that we all ask to each other every day, but when someone is in prison, I feel so stupid saying it.

01:37:04.000 But what are you supposed to say?

01:37:08.000 Well, I'm here.

01:37:09.000 I am alive.

01:37:11.000 And I'm in this fantastic facility that is evidently 48 mattresses short.

01:37:18.000 That's a lot of mattresses.

01:37:20.000 Yeah, so one must one go, and then they don't have cleaner.

01:37:25.000 Yeah, they're sort of cleaners.

01:37:27.000 When you say cleaner, you mean what?

01:37:29.000 Like to mop the floors and wash the walls?

01:37:31.000 Yeah, cleaner to mop the floor, cleaner to clean the clothes. 0.59

01:37:34.000 Yeah, these are things that I was informed of by a sergeant.

01:37:38.000 Wow.

01:37:38.000 What did you have for dinner?

01:37:39.000 I mean, for breakfast this morning?

01:37:44.000 A piece of bread and some peanut butter.

01:37:48.000 And then water, or what did you drink?

01:37:52.000 They gave us milk.

01:37:53.000 Yeah.

01:37:54.000 And what did you have for lunch?

01:37:56.000 Well, you know what?

01:37:57.000 I'm actually foiled because I'm on the kosher diet.

01:38:01.000 Oh, you converted to Judaism?

01:38:04.000 Well, I'm a Jew.

01:38:06.000 I'm ethnically a Jew.

01:38:07.000 I never knew that.

01:38:10.000 I told you this like 10 times.

01:38:12.000 And then you always say, I never knew that.

01:38:14.000 This is the thing that always happens.

01:38:15.000 I keep unknowing this fact.

01:38:18.000 Yes.

01:38:19.000 Because I don't want it to be true.

01:38:20.000 I always thought of you as a spic. 1.00

01:38:23.000 I am a spic.

01:38:24.000 I'm a Jewish Spic.

01:38:25.000 Oh.

01:38:25.000 A chick.

01:38:26.000 I'm a Murano.

01:38:27.000 I'm a Marano.

01:38:29.000 Oh.

01:38:30.000 The people are Portuguese Jews that came over to the islands, the slave traders, actually, as you must know.

01:38:37.000 Okay.

01:38:38.000 What'd you have for dinner?

01:38:42.000 A turkey sandwich.

01:38:44.000 Again, because I'm spoiled.

01:38:45.000 Everybody else gets balanced.

01:38:48.000 And are you left hungry after this?

01:38:51.000 I mean, is it enough to fill you up?

01:38:53.000 You know what?

01:38:54.000 It's enough for me because I wear size small scrubs, but I would imagine the men are kind of hungry.

01:39:00.000 And the fat souls must be going nuts.

01:39:03.000 Well, you know what?

01:39:04.000 That's why they eat ramen noodles every day.

01:39:07.000 Right.

01:39:07.000 They fill up with the carbs and the ramen.

01:39:10.000 Yeah.

01:39:11.000 Well, you know what's interesting, though, is the men tend to leave jail either fat sos or really fit, but the women tend to leave quite large.

01:39:22.000 Oh, really?

01:39:23.000 Women get fatter in prison. 1.00

01:39:25.000 Yeah, unless they have really, really great self-control, like I do.

01:39:29.000 Do you get to exercise?

01:39:32.000 I mean, only if you choose to.

01:39:36.000 The men do.

01:39:37.000 Wait, why do you keep talking about the men like you're in some sort of co-ed jail?

01:39:42.000 No, I just happen to know what the men's behaviors are because they will write about it.

01:39:49.000 Okay, but there's no men around you for 100 miles.

01:39:52.000 No, no, no.

01:39:54.000 Not at all.

01:39:55.000 It's funny that our relationship, you know, I had you on the show as a porn star five years ago.

01:40:01.000 So our whole dialogue was always very sexual back and forth about various sexual details.

01:40:07.000 And now that you're in prison, we've never discussed anything remotely sexual since you got in there.

01:40:13.000 It's always like China, Russia's goal globally, the mathematics of Chinese characters. 0.80

01:40:22.000 There's nothing sexy in here.

01:40:24.000 Oh my God.

01:40:25.000 Like, you know what?

01:40:27.000 You want to actually become an absolute aesthetic?

01:40:31.000 You want to actually become celibate for the rest of your life?

01:40:34.000 Come to a women's jail unit. 1.00

01:40:38.000 This is probably the most disgusting place ever.

01:40:43.000 Like everyone's like, ooh, sexy lesbians. 1.00

01:40:46.000 I'm like, oh, God, the fat hairy moth, like, gag me.

01:40:50.000 Like, I have been a celibate for the last three years, however many months I've been here.

01:40:58.000 Yeah, I can imagine.

01:41:00.000 Yeah, this is not the place for sexual activity, I promise you.

01:41:05.000 Okay, before we go, we've got to wrap it up here.

01:41:08.000 What's your latest political theory?

01:41:11.000 My latest?

01:41:12.000 What are you obsessed with these days?

01:41:14.000 Ukraine?

01:41:16.000 Oh, God, you're really putting me on the spot here.

01:41:19.000 Well, every time we talk, you've got some overarching theory about JFK or 9-11 was orchestrated by Russians.

01:41:28.000 Johnson did JFK.

01:41:30.000 Pick that one.

01:41:31.000 Yeah, I think that's a good theory.

01:41:34.000 In fact, Roger Stone wrote a book on it.

01:41:37.000 Oh, there you go.

01:41:38.000 See?

01:41:38.000 Roger Stone is right.

01:41:41.000 Wait, I was supposed to send you something.

01:41:43.000 Fuck, I totally spaced on that.

01:41:44.000 What was I supposed to send you?

01:41:45.000 Same picture.

01:41:47.000 Oh, yeah, a picture.

01:41:48.000 Send me a picture.

01:41:52.000 There's something sexy.

01:41:53.000 I'm going to get off the gown in my jail cell.

01:41:58.000 All right.

01:41:58.000 Thanks for calling.

01:41:59.000 Keep in touch.

01:42:01.000 All right.

01:42:01.000 Love you, Bob.

01:42:02.000 Bye-bye.

01:42:04.000 Now that she doesn't talk sex anymore, she believes in none of this and none of that.

01:42:13.000 I noticed some baby monsters were mad that we have her on the show because of her heinous accusations that she molested her daughter, which, of course, we would want her dead if she did it. 1.00

01:42:25.000 You think she did?

01:42:27.000 No.

01:42:28.000 The only evidence they have is a heavily influenced interview with their daughter that was put on by her born-again Christian dad who was trying to get custody.

01:42:37.000 And then they go, well, there was proof.

01:42:38.000 There was paraphernalia at her house. 1.00

01:42:41.000 There was cameras pointing to the bed.

01:42:43.000 Yeah, she's a pornster. 1.00

01:42:45.000 They all have cameras pointing to their bed.

01:42:47.000 That's what they do.

01:42:48.000 It's well documented.

01:42:49.000 You know, it's a sad fact.

01:42:51.000 Parents that want custody of the child, men and women, the first thing they say is the child was raped or molested.

01:43:00.000 That's how evil people could get over custody.

01:43:04.000 Yeah, I think that happened to Woody Allen.

01:43:06.000 I mean, he's a creep for dating Sun Yi or whatever her name is, but I don't think he touched that other chick.

01:43:13.000 Chick. 0.98

01:43:14.000 Child.

01:43:18.000 There's no cure for rapos.

01:43:20.000 There's no cure for pedopaws. 1.00

01:43:22.000 Centuries ago, if men were rapos, they had them as eunuchs watching the princesses and the slave girls.

01:43:33.000 They cut off their nuts.

01:43:36.000 They desec them.

01:43:38.000 Sounds good to me.

01:43:39.000 You know, I've hung out with Mercedes and her husband a bunch of times.

01:43:42.000 They're not a very sexual couple.

01:43:44.000 Like, I talk about sex way more.

01:43:46.000 Sylvia and I talk about sex way more than they talk about sex.

01:43:49.000 It's not really their thing.

01:43:52.000 They're more into like politics and conspiracies and Russians and Chinese and Islam and what's happening to the West and all that kind of subject.

01:44:01.000 Why'd she go to jail? 1.00

01:44:04.000 Because she's in a custody battle with her husband, ex-husband.

01:44:08.000 He got the kid to say that all this horrible stuff went on.

01:44:11.000 They took that interview, they threw her in jail. 0.99

01:44:13.000 She hasn't been to the judge.

01:44:15.000 Her trial hasn't begun.

01:44:16.000 It's been three years she's been waiting for her trial.

01:44:18.000 She's dying to go to trial. 1.00

01:44:20.000 They took all the hard drives in her house and went through them all.

01:44:24.000 Nothing remotely kiddy anywhere.

01:44:26.000 What state?

01:44:28.000 California.

01:44:29.000 Oh, no wonder.

01:44:30.000 San Bernardino.

01:44:32.000 Fontana County.

01:44:34.000 Okay, let's do another letter before.

01:44:36.000 Don't we have someone on hold?

01:44:38.000 Yes.

01:44:40.000 Laura.

01:44:41.000 Laura.

01:44:42.000 Laurie.

01:44:43.000 You're on the line.

01:44:44.000 Laura.

01:44:44.000 You're online.

01:44:45.000 You're online, Laura.

01:44:47.000 Laura.

01:44:50.000 Hello, Laura.

01:44:52.000 Oh, maybe it's not Laura.

01:44:53.000 Hey, how you doing, dude?

01:44:54.000 614, you're online.

01:44:56.000 Oh, 614?

01:45:00.000 Hello?

01:45:02.000 Can you hear me?

01:45:03.000 Yes, I can.

01:45:05.000 How are you?

01:45:06.000 Good.

01:45:07.000 Are you in Australia?

01:45:09.000 I am.

01:45:10.000 Right on.

01:45:11.000 How's it going?

01:45:13.000 What was I going to say?

01:45:14.000 Who have you been getting into the Australian music scene?

01:45:17.000 Oh, we never stopped, man.

01:45:19.000 Australia's been on fire for like five years.

01:45:23.000 I know, I know.

01:45:24.000 We're producing good music for a shitty little country like ours.

01:45:27.000 The chats and that chick, that Mick Jagger chick with the moves. 0.74

01:45:33.000 What's her name again?

01:45:34.000 Ammon and the Sniffers.

01:45:35.000 Oh, Amo and the Sniffers.

01:45:36.000 Yeah, fantastic.

01:45:38.000 So much good shit.

01:45:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:40.000 Well, I've got another recommendation.

01:45:41.000 They're called hiatus coyote.

01:45:45.000 One more time?

01:45:46.000 Give them a look.

01:45:47.000 Hiatus Coyote?

01:45:48.000 Hiatus Coyote. 0.93

01:45:49.000 That sounds familiar.

01:45:52.000 I think the Australian, I don't want to call it punk, but like bare bones rock scene, yeah, punk scene, whatever, is as good as like London in 1977 or New York in 1977.

01:46:05.000 We have these things called the Sharpies.

01:46:08.000 Oh, remember the Sharpies?

01:46:09.000 Those weird skinheads back in the 70s.

01:46:12.000 Yeah.

01:46:13.000 No, this music scene right now is way better than Sharpies days.

01:46:17.000 This is fucking exciting.

01:46:18.000 You're going through a renaissance.

01:46:20.000 Yeah, no, no, it's good.

01:46:21.000 Good live scene.

01:46:23.000 The other video I was going to recommend, Mark McGowan is a WA Premier, and he had a video telling all the Aboriginals to get jabbed. 1.00

01:46:34.000 And he's translating Aboriginal.

01:46:37.000 Yeah, we showed it on the show, dude.

01:46:40.000 Thanks for calling.

01:46:41.000 We never should ever give callers two things.

01:46:45.000 Ha ha.

01:46:45.000 Every single time.

01:46:47.000 Thank you for calling.

01:46:49.000 Thank you for calling.

01:46:51.000 Every time callers get two things, the second thing sucks.

01:46:55.000 He spent $50 on the call because he's been on...

01:46:57.000 How do you spend $50 on a call?

01:46:59.000 International Gabbin.

01:47:00.000 Oh, shit.

01:47:02.000 Sorry, Mike.

01:47:04.000 But their money goes backwards there, so it doesn't matter.

01:47:08.000 But let's go back to the hiatus monkey.

01:47:13.000 No videos?

01:47:18.000 Sounds like Nope Yup.

01:47:31.000 Kind of reminds me of Kid Koala, or what was that other guy?

01:47:36.000 DJ Kidd from the early odds.

01:47:43.000 There's a music video by them.

01:47:47.000 Australia is going through a musical renaissance that puts punk to shame.

01:47:59.000 Okay, I hope that pays for his 50 bucks.

01:48:03.000 Yeah.

01:48:04.000 We're down the last 10 minutes of the show, guys.

01:48:06.000 We got another caller, 610 on the line.

01:48:12.000 Yellow, 610, you're on the line.

01:48:15.000 Bugging, hey.

01:48:18.000 Go ahead, 610.

01:48:19.000 Kevin.

01:48:20.000 Yeah.

01:48:21.000 Hey, man.

01:48:23.000 I had a theory about this.

01:48:24.000 Everyone's freaking about having to cross state lines or whatever to get abortions.

01:48:29.000 Like, you know.

01:48:30.000 God forbid you should have to go on a road trip.

01:48:33.000 Well, here's what I think it is.

01:48:34.000 Like, I know you're retarded when it comes to guns and gun laws and stuff. 1.00

01:48:39.000 But the gun laws that they've set up in this country as far as from state to state, especially with handguns, it's like almost impossible.

01:48:46.000 If you live in Pennsylvania and you travel to Virginia and you want to buy a handgun, you can't just buy a handgun in Virginia and then take it back across state borders.

01:48:56.000 You have to fill out, you have to have them send it back over to your state with an SSL and then pass a background check back in your state.

01:49:04.000 Like they make all these crazy loopholes, or not, I'm sorry, not loopholes, all these crazy rules if you want to try to do it.

01:49:11.000 They purposely make it difficult to do.

01:49:14.000 So I think all these libs are like, hey, wait a minute, are we going to do to abortions the same thing that we've done to gun rights? 0.91

01:49:21.000 Because if we are, it's going to be really hard to do.

01:49:24.000 Right.

01:49:24.000 Well, they also say, look, just because you ban abortions doesn't mean it's going to stop abortions.

01:49:29.000 And we're like, yeah, that's what we've been screaming about guns.

01:49:33.000 But I used to have a place up in Berryville, New York that was right by New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York, all within a mile.

01:49:41.000 You get a handgun in Pennsylvania pretty darn easy.

01:49:44.000 You got a driver's license, you go in there, and it's yours.

01:49:47.000 You fucking take a wrong turn off of the 17 and you end up in New York or New Jersey with your handgun.

01:49:56.000 You're looking at five years.

01:49:57.000 Jersey would be the same.

01:49:58.000 Oh, dude, I live outside of Philly and I know a guy and I've done this.

01:50:02.000 There's a wrong turn you can make going into Philadelphia where you end up on a bridge heading into New Jersey and there's no turning around.

01:50:08.000 A friend of mine, he had a Glock 19 with 15 rounds in it.

01:50:14.000 Got on the bridge, was like freaking out.

01:50:16.000 He's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to New Jersey because you can't take a gun from Philly to New Jersey.

01:50:21.000 That's against the law.

01:50:22.000 So he's speeding to get out of there.

01:50:24.000 He wants to get off the first on-ramp to get off and turn around.

01:50:27.000 Cops pull him over.

01:50:29.000 I think it was a mandatory 10 years plus a dollar for every hollow point, but he pled out.

01:50:36.000 He pled out to a year basically for a moving violation that they caught a gun on him for.

01:50:43.000 It's ridiculous.

01:50:44.000 And it's this.

01:50:44.000 So, how did they find the gun?

01:50:48.000 You know, he was probably stupid enough to admit to it.

01:50:51.000 Yeah.

01:50:52.000 I never got hit.

01:50:55.000 10 fucking years for a long turn. 0.94

01:50:57.000 If he was on the bridge and could not get off to the first exit to go back into Pennsylvania, that would have to be the biggest dick cop in the world.

01:51:07.000 Say, listen, I got on the bridge.

01:51:09.000 I didn't realize I had my gun on me.

01:51:11.000 I'm trying to get back over and turn around and come back in.

01:51:13.000 It's the first exit.

01:51:14.000 Like, for a cop to arrest you for that, that's got to happen.

01:51:17.000 And for a judge to hit the gavel, but the law still exists. 0.82

01:51:21.000 It's just because you're in a disturbance.

01:51:22.000 You can say what you want about the cops, but yeah, if they want to follow the law, which, you know, most of the times you want the cops to follow the law to a T. It's when they start not following the laws when things get weird.

01:51:31.000 This is the whole problem, too.

01:51:33.000 The reason we have a federal government is because states got sick of shit like this.

01:51:37.000 But here's the best of it.

01:51:38.000 Where one state has to follow these rules, and it gets hampered by that, and the state right next door gets to prosper and not follow all these dumb EPA rules.

01:51:48.000 And then they go, okay, let's make all the rules the same, but they don't do it with guns.

01:51:52.000 And when we threaten to do it with abortion, everyone shits their pants.

01:51:57.000 There's constitutional carry laws in 24 states.

01:52:00.000 24 states put forth.

01:52:02.000 Meanwhile, constitutional carry is supposed to be federal.

01:52:05.000 Yes.

01:52:07.000 It's the opposite.

01:52:07.000 Abortion is now going through what gun rights have been going through for decades.

01:52:14.000 It should be a federal regulation, but they've let the states handle it.

01:52:18.000 And it's a big fucking mess now because the states have been handling who can carry guns and who can't for a long time.

01:52:23.000 And now abortion is going to have the same kind of thing. 1.00

01:52:26.000 Anyway, I love you all.

01:52:27.000 Fuck you.

01:52:28.000 Affiliate.

01:52:28.000 Love you, man.

01:52:29.000 The abortion bill got knocked down.

01:52:30.000 Shot down.

01:52:31.000 Didn't pass.

01:52:33.000 But was it even done?

01:52:34.000 I thought what leaked was them thinking about it.

01:52:37.000 No, it's got shut down.

01:52:38.000 Joe Manchin from West Virginia sided with the GOP.

01:52:41.000 It was 5149.

01:52:43.000 It's over.

01:52:44.000 It's over.

01:52:45.000 Nothing happened.

01:52:46.000 Nothing overturned.

01:52:48.000 He's fucking.

01:52:50.000 Now, they're trying to pass H.R. 28, which is if you're legally allowed to carry a gun in one state, it should be honored in all 50 states.

01:52:59.000 That'll probably never see the light of day.

01:53:01.000 But 24 states already have passed what they call H.R., I mean, constitutional carry.

01:53:09.000 Anyone over the age of 21 years old can carry a gun concealed, unconcealed, whatever you want to do.

01:53:14.000 Well, it has the word constitution in it.

01:53:16.000 Yeah, constitutional carry.

01:53:18.000 It should be the normal.

01:53:19.000 Because your right to bear arms shall not be infringed.

01:53:22.000 Yeah, it's a God-given right.

01:53:24.000 Yeah.

01:53:24.000 Pretty much inalienable.

01:53:26.000 Except for somebody who's multiple violent felon.

01:53:31.000 Wow.

01:53:32.000 I didn't even know.

01:53:33.000 Who does that apply to the people?

01:53:34.000 I don't even know the rule with those scumbags, to be honest.

01:53:37.000 Those guys don't follow the rules, so none of it applies.

01:53:39.000 Because the deal is, you did your crime, you did your time, you should be absolved.

01:53:43.000 100%.

01:53:44.000 You're back into society.

01:53:45.000 Like when the kids are bad, they get a timeout in the corner.

01:53:48.000 They're now normal kids again.

01:53:51.000 100%.

01:53:51.000 You face the corner for five minutes, you're good.

01:53:54.000 I've been rehabilitated.

01:53:56.000 Yeah.

01:53:56.000 If you slack off at work so much, you agree you should be fired, but instead get promoted, should you quit because you're working for clowns?

01:54:05.000 No.

01:54:07.000 Have fun.

01:54:07.000 Enjoy yourself, dude.

01:54:09.000 The time you need to avoid working at work, it's easier just to do the job, usually.

01:54:15.000 Yeah, the time would go by so slowly.

01:54:17.000 It's more trying to occupy your time when doing nothing.

01:54:21.000 Yeah, but this guy is doing it and having a great time, and he got a raise.

01:54:26.000 Do it, dude.

01:54:28.000 Have you not seen the movie Office Space?

01:54:30.000 It's a great way to live.

01:54:32.000 That's a big fuck you because you're just taking their money and you're like, all right, you fucking idiots.

01:54:36.000 Or just wear a MAGA hat if you really want to get quitting.

01:54:38.000 Or maybe you're more talented than you know.

01:54:40.000 With quitting, too, I always say, don't jump off a train if there's not another train next to it.

01:54:46.000 Jump off the train onto the other train and then ride that train.

01:54:50.000 Don't quit unless you got something set up or you're going to go broke.

01:54:55.000 Polaris is another good Australian band.

01:54:57.000 It's so many fucking amazing bands out of Australia.

01:54:59.000 It's amazing.

01:55:03.000 What's that?

01:55:04.000 Ryan, can we get a Jordan Peterson?

01:55:05.000 Yeah, you absolutely can.

01:55:07.000 But I would totally prefer if you went to cameo.com.

01:55:12.000 Oh, now you're taking away from the show so you can make your own money on the show.

01:55:16.000 No, but you could have me say it to you.

01:55:19.000 Wish you happy birthday, for instance.

01:55:21.000 Don't try to scoop the show.

01:55:24.000 Show your Jordan Peterson face.

01:55:26.000 So right now, I have such little memory on the computer, I have to figure out, I'm probably going to have to do a restart, but it will not load the thing.

01:55:33.000 There's not enough memory on the computer.

01:55:35.000 See, this is what I'm worried about in Orlando.

01:55:38.000 You should probably go to Orlando tomorrow and start working on this technology so we get what we want.

01:55:44.000 Well, I am going to be there this weekend for Creative Clash.

01:55:48.000 Well, pop by the venue and talk to them.

01:55:51.000 Okay.

01:55:53.000 It's in Tampa.

01:55:54.000 Tampa's close to Orlando.

01:55:56.000 No.

01:55:56.000 It's not?

01:55:57.000 Nowhere near it.

01:55:58.000 Oh, fuck.

01:55:58.000 Never mind.

01:55:58.000 Why would you say that?

01:55:59.000 Because I know friends that live there and they were like, it's close enough to go.

01:56:04.000 Tampa's on the Gulf of Mexico.

01:56:06.000 Oh.

01:56:06.000 Orlando's in the center of the state.

01:56:08.000 Yeah, it's close enough to go, meaning we'll drive for five hours.

01:56:11.000 I'll drive for five hours.

01:56:12.000 I wonder how ticket sales are doing with this show.

01:56:14.000 Is there a way to check, I wonder?

01:56:17.000 Yeah, she's going to tell us on Monday.

01:56:18.000 Okay, so Monday.

01:56:20.000 Bam, there you go.

01:56:23.000 Why'd you take the QR code?

01:56:24.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:56:25.000 Put that back up.

01:56:26.000 So I don't know if you can scan it on.

01:56:28.000 If it sells out, we'll do two shows.

01:56:31.000 Oh.

01:56:32.000 And then if it really sells out, we'll do a bunch.

01:56:35.000 Like we'll do Chicago, we'll do LA.

01:56:38.000 Although LA, can you imagine the fucking Antifa lunatics, how mad they'd be?

01:56:42.000 But maybe we could do no, not Oakland, San Diego.

01:56:46.000 Maybe Northern California, Big Sur or something?

01:56:52.000 I heard some good things about San Diego.

01:56:54.000 Wait, what's that?

01:56:55.000 Al Cajon, but Orange County?

01:56:57.000 Isn't there like a MAGA part near LA?

01:57:01.000 We knew one guy who was a little bit more.

01:57:02.000 There was a fight on a beach.

01:57:03.000 Remember that?

01:57:04.000 Is it Huntington Beach?

01:57:05.000 Something like that?

01:57:06.000 Something like that.

01:57:06.000 Maybe we could do that.

01:57:10.000 All right, we've got fucking seconds left.

01:57:14.000 Seconds.

01:57:15.000 I think we have time for one more call.

01:57:16.000 Okay.

01:57:17.000 It's 10.57.

01:57:18.000 We have three minutes left.

01:57:20.000 Okay.

01:57:22.000 Here's a letter I wanted to read.

01:57:23.000 I don't know why.

01:57:24.000 Hold on a sec, caller.

01:57:27.000 Government, my wife and I take care of her 91-year-old grandma in Utah.

01:57:32.000 She's from Ohio and will be visiting in June.

01:57:36.000 Her ID has expired, and we tried to get one here in Utah so she can fly. 1.00

01:57:40.000 They won't accept her old ID as proof, along with bills and mail.

01:57:44.000 They told us they need her original birth certificate, not a copy.

01:57:48.000 She's fucking 91 years old. 1.00

01:57:51.000 Who did I think?

01:57:52.000 Well, it's not her original.

01:57:54.000 It's just a certified copy from where she was born.

01:57:59.000 Oh, okay.

01:58:00.000 You'd have to find out where she was born and go to the court clerk. 0.99

01:58:03.000 Yikes.

01:58:04.000 And they will give you a new one that's got a barcode and a stamp.

01:58:08.000 And then Bose.

01:58:11.000 Pain in the ass, but especially if she's born out of state. 0.99

01:58:15.000 This is their policy, and they won't change it for anyone.

01:58:17.000 I lost my mind on these people.

01:58:18.000 I may never be welcome with that DMV again.

01:58:20.000 Maybe you're wrong, dude.

01:58:22.000 Maybe it's just, I'm not saying you're wrong, Maddie.

01:58:24.000 I'm saying the writer is wrong.

01:58:26.000 And maybe it's just a matter of fucking working a little harder there, pal.

01:58:31.000 Sorry.

01:58:32.000 All right.

01:58:33.000 Final call for the show.

01:58:35.000 John, 979, you're on the line.

01:58:38.000 What's going on, John?

01:58:39.000 What's up, Johnny?

01:58:40.000 Can you hear me?

01:58:41.000 Yes, sir.

01:58:44.000 Yeah, man.

01:58:47.000 Up until about a year ago, I pretty much disassociated myself with social media for probably about two, three years.

01:58:58.000 And well, anyway, I went to rehab and everything, and I came out.

01:59:02.000 And so I started with Instagram and shit like that.

01:59:08.000 And all this stuff, man, this war on white people is fucking starting to make me one racist motherfucker.

01:59:19.000 And I try not to be.

01:59:21.000 I really try not to be, but dude, there's this guy named Charleston White on, I see him on fucking YouTube and Instagram.

01:59:31.000 He talks all this fucking shit.

01:59:34.000 And I mean, if a white dude was to even say a quarter of what he said, he'd be put on a fucking no-fly list.

01:59:42.000 It just fucking irritates the fuck out of my ass.

01:59:46.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:59:51.000 Exactly.

01:59:54.000 So what's this guy's deal?

01:59:56.000 There's so many black rap dudes who are political and they want to create a black state.

02:00:03.000 If whites wanted to create a white fucking restaurant, they would be annihilated. 0.99

02:00:08.000 Anyway, sir, you're opening a Pandora's box at the very end of the show, but that's a good point.

02:00:13.000 Thanks for calling.

02:00:14.000 I remember Roger Ailes, when I was at Fox, he said that.

02:00:16.000 He said, just anytime there's a confusing situation, just reverse the races and see how outrageous it is.

02:00:24.000 And I think that's a good gauge on how inequitable, how unegalitarian we've become.

02:00:32.000 But that's time for another show.

02:00:34.000 We'll actually be discussing that tomorrow as we look at nationalism when it relates to whites, blacks, and browns and how the government and the media treat those three different groups from the proud boys to the not fucking around coalition and why do they treat them differently.

02:00:50.000 Hint, one group is Marxist, the other is not.

02:00:54.000 At any rate, that's for tomorrow.

02:00:56.000 Thank you for tuning in.

02:00:57.000 I'd like to thank my Gumar and Sylvia.

02:01:01.000 It's a pleasure always.

02:01:03.000 We're so glad to have you back.

02:01:05.000 So happy to be back with you wonderful guys.

02:01:08.000 Glad to see you in good health.

02:01:10.000 We'd like to thank my co-host, Maddie Odell.

02:01:14.000 The great chef.

02:01:15.000 And of course, we wouldn't have a show without our very own shit show.

02:01:21.000 That's me.

02:01:21.000 Brian, the great cameraman.

02:01:24.000 The great Filipino.

02:01:26.000 Yeah.

02:01:28.000 Filipino.

02:01:30.000 So, without further ado, get fired, get in trouble, be brave.

02:01:35.000 Get Gabbin.

02:01:36.000 And never stop fighting.

02:01:38.000 I'm going to throw this right at the camera.

02:01:44.000 Oh, we're all alone.

02:01:48.000 Hey, little radiator. 0.96

02:01:53.000 You gonna take me.

02:02:15.000 I'm gonna come.

02:02:18.000 You're not supposed to be a joke.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 13, 2022

GOML LIVE #148 - SHITSHOW

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