Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 27, 2022


GOML LIVE #150 - FOSTER PARENTS (Part 1)

Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Bert Kreischer Pee-Wee Trump Tim Pool Josh LaCasse Ari Shafir Aerosmith Anthony Antifa Mollie Brett Johnny Apple CBD Warm Doucher Mick Jagger Johnny Depp Joe Rogan Sylvia Maddie Ernie Steven Tyler and 35 more
S4E120 - HACK THE GOVERNMENT S4E122 - MEMORIAL DAY MAIL BAG 1

Episode Stats


Length

41 minutes

Words per minute

146.28

Word count

6,029

Sentence count

839

Harmful content

Misogyny

46

sentences flagged

Toxicity

226

sentences flagged

Hate speech

28

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week's episode of Get Off My Lawn Live from New York City, Gavin McInnes and Ryan Henderson are joined by the late Max Herr and John Kinsman, two men who are in their last year of prison time for fighting Antifa. They talk about what it's like to be a lawyer for the left, and why it's a bad idea to press charges against someone for a crime they didn't commit. Plus, the boys talk about a new music video for a song that's been making waves in the punk rock community, and how to get your ass kicked by a woman who's not your date. And, of course, there's a call-in from a guy who wants to know if he should be charged with a crime he didn't actually commit. Get off my lawn! Subscribe to the podcast and get 15% off your first purchase when you use the promo code "getoffmylawn" at checkout. Get off My Lawn is a news show where we are sort of like Howard Stern meets Tucker Carlson and we go through the news, but we don't do the news the way Howard and Tucker do it on this show, and we do it for free. Get OFF MY LODGE LIVE from NYC. Get Off my Lawn Live! is a show we do for free every Thursday. Get it? Get it on your lawn! Get it! Get It? with GAVIN'S LODGING! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Rate/subscribe to our new sponsor, Gavynchances and get 20% off the first month of your ad-free version of the show! If you decide to become a supporter of the podcast, we'll be giving you a discount code "GAVIN" and a FREE shipping on all future episodes starting on January 1st, only $99.00 OFF YOUR FIRST SUBSCRIBE GET OFF MY LAED, AND FREE PROMO CODE "GavIN" starts on January 31st, 2019. Gav and Ryan gets a discount on his first month FREE on all other places he gets 15% OFF THE FASTESTIMARY OFF THE PODCAST AND FREE OFF THE FIRST MONTH AND FRIENDS PROMOTED AND FREE ON ALL PRODUCED ON ALL CHALLENGE AND VIP PROM OFF THE FROG AND PODCED!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:53.000 I don't know.
00:01:03.000 Hello folks, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
00:01:08.000 This is the show we do for free every Thursday, where we get in touch with the baby monsters who follow the show.
00:01:16.000 It's funny that we use it to give you a sample of Get Off My Lawn, but it's nothing like Get Off My Lawn.
00:01:23.000 Get Off My Lawn is a news show where we are sort of like Howard Stern meets Tucker Carlson and we go through the news.
00:01:35.000 Something that Daily Wire would do if they were funny.
00:01:40.000 But we don't do that here.
00:01:41.000 I tried doing the news on this show, but there's so many sponsors and we gotta peace out in like half an hour and go behind the table.
00:01:49.000 Ain't nobody got time for that.
00:01:50.000 Ain't nobody got time for that. 1.00
00:01:53.000 So we just shoot the shit. 0.99
00:01:55.000 That was, uh, the opening song was a band called... What are they called? 1.00
00:02:01.000 Warm Doucher.
00:02:02.000 Warm Doucher.
00:02:03.000 How do you spell that?
00:02:04.000 Show the people at home.
00:02:05.000 It's a really cool band.
00:02:07.000 They were formed as a joke to...
00:02:11.000 For a house party.
00:02:13.000 And they're British.
00:02:14.000 The vocalist is an American gentleman.
00:02:18.000 And they're real good.
00:02:19.000 Good vibes.
00:02:20.000 The animation's like a cross between Ralph Steadman and the Monty Python guy.
00:02:24.000 Who did the art?
00:02:25.000 Terry Gilliam style animation.
00:02:27.000 No, it's Basquiat, you douche.
00:02:29.000 Oh, I see.
00:02:31.000 It's a really cool background.
00:02:32.000 I'm tempted to just keep that up.
00:02:34.000 That's dope. 0.93
00:02:36.000 Okay.
00:02:37.000 Good to know.
00:02:38.000 So, we'll be taking calls.
00:02:41.000 On this show, we'll be going through letters that we get, and we will also have a Super Chat up there.
00:02:51.000 And the money we get for that Super Chat, it's usually about 800 bucks, we give it to Max Herr and John Kinsman, who are in their last year of four.
00:03:01.000 They're serving prison time for fighting Antifa, and they committed the crime of winning the fight.
00:03:07.000 Antifa started a fight, they finished it, 0.99
00:03:10.000 That is verboten in this day and age because Antifa is the paramilitary wing of the DNC, and you do not fuck with them. 1.00
00:03:20.000 They can fuck with you. 1.00
00:03:22.000 We just had those two lawyers, maybe not specifically Antifa, but that same group, that same vibe, throw a Molotov cocktail into a cop car. 1.00
00:03:32.000 I believe they got a year for that.
00:03:35.000 Maybe two.
00:03:36.000 The trial's not done. 0.97
00:03:38.000 So, according to Modern Society, burning policemen alive is 25% as bad as beating up Antifa when they pick a fight with you by throwing a bottle of piss at your head.
00:03:52.000 And don't press charges, too.
00:03:53.000 And don't want to press charges.
00:03:56.000 You think you get to meet your accuser in court?
00:03:58.000 You don't.
00:04:00.000 So you do the math on that.
00:04:02.000 You figure that out.
00:04:03.000 It sounds kind of unusual to me.
00:04:07.000 Our sponsors this week are, of course, BeardVet.
00:04:12.000 BeardVet is two things.
00:04:14.000 It is a fantastic coffee company that knocks your socks off with their Diablo blend, right?
00:04:24.000 Diablo.
00:04:25.000 If you go there now to their site BeardVet.com, use the promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.
00:04:33.000 So just the coffee alone is fantastic.
00:04:35.000 That's what we drink here at the station.
00:04:37.000 If you've noticed, we are incredibly effervescent and gregarious, and that is because we are high on caffeine when we do this show.
00:04:48.000 But totally separate from that, these veterans that are willing to die for our country also make beard grooming products to keep your beard soft and smooth.
00:05:02.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:05:04.000 Look how smooth Ryan's beard is.
00:05:06.000 Are you using BeardVet, Ryan?
00:05:08.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:05:09.000 I didn't even know the camera was on me.
00:05:10.000 Yeah, I was about to use the BeardVet Clove and Sage beard grooming juice. 0.94
00:05:17.000 Now, your beard usually looks like a black man's chest. 0.98
00:05:20.000 It's got these circular little afro things, but when you use BeardVet, it calms out and looks more like an Asian woman's pubic hair. 0.85
00:05:29.000 Um, you know, that's not a flattering, but it is an inaccurate synopsis.
00:05:33.000 Remember, I was dating this Korean named Min, and I was like, Min, you gotta, like, take care of it down there. 1.00
00:05:39.000 It looks like a little punk rocker down there.
00:05:41.000 Because it wouldn't curl, it would just grow straight.
00:05:45.000 So yes, BeardVet.com. 0.87
00:05:46.000 These people are willing to die for our country and they are willing to bust their asses to satisfy your cravings for beard grooming products and coffee. 0.92
00:05:58.000 BeardVet.com, promo code GAVIN. 0.91
00:06:04.000 How are you doing, Ryan?
00:06:05.000 How was your day today?
00:06:06.000 We did an interview with some British nerd at two.
00:06:11.000 Didn't really do much else.
00:06:13.000 Ed Dutton, I believe.
00:06:14.000 After the show yesterday, I went to the bar with Anthony.
00:06:18.000 We had a long talk.
00:06:20.000 I think he finally likes me now.
00:06:22.000 Anthony?
00:06:23.000 Yeah.
00:06:24.000 Finally likes?
00:06:25.000 He loves you.
00:06:26.000 I know, but we're now friends.
00:06:28.000 It was an 8-year courtship.
00:06:31.000 Yeah, like, sometimes you do good on-camera stuff and then you don't hang out afterwards.
00:06:34.000 Yeah, he would always zip home right after.
00:06:36.000 Well, he's a zip. 0.87
00:06:39.000 How else is he supposed to go home?
00:06:41.000 But we're finally friends.
00:06:42.000 That's dope. 0.93
00:06:43.000 That was an 8-year courtship.
00:06:44.000 Too long.
00:06:46.000 Too long.
00:06:47.000 I'm over him now.
00:06:48.000 Yeah, that's what's fun.
00:06:49.000 He finally likes me, and I have other friends.
00:06:51.000 It's like dating, yeah.
00:06:52.000 It's like you chase him for so long, now he likes you, and now you're like, yeah, I'm over you.
00:06:55.000 That's pretty fun.
00:06:59.000 Some Proud Boys showed up I haven't seen in a while.
00:07:01.000 A couple of Mikes. 1.00
00:07:02.000 Oh yeah, fuck. 1.00
00:07:03.000 And they were doing nose beers and drinking. 1.00
00:07:05.000 I don't think people in the media realize the insurmountable amount of cocaine that the Proud Boys do.
00:07:13.000 Yeah, we literally need it really is for all the racism that is discussed in the white nationalism.
00:07:18.000 It's people against cocaine who should hate them.
00:07:22.000 Like at we went to a house party at West Fest in Vegas.
00:07:25.000 There was a mirror.
00:07:26.000 I'm not going to exaggerate.
00:07:29.000 Oh my god.
00:07:29.000 Yeah.
00:07:30.000 This big.
00:07:32.000 It was on the pool table.
00:07:35.000 It was over the pool table.
00:07:36.000 You couldn't play pool.
00:07:37.000 What?
00:07:38.000 It was like overlaid.
00:07:41.000 There was hanging edges of the mirror.
00:07:43.000 Yes, it was bigger than the pool table.
00:07:44.000 And I would say there was $1,200 worth of coke on it.
00:07:48.000 Yeah.
00:07:49.000 Like there was separate stations of lines.
00:07:53.000 I've never seen an amount where I'm like, I've never actually said I'm good.
00:07:56.000 There's never been enough around for me to be like, I'm good.
00:07:59.000 Oh yeah, it's weird.
00:08:00.000 It's weird walking by cocaine.
00:08:02.000 Like, nah, no thanks.
00:08:04.000 It's like walking by a Victoria's Secret model diddling her bean and you're just like, okay, enjoy yourself. 0.89
00:08:09.000 Don't make a mess, please.
00:08:12.000 Don't go squirting on my nice rug.
00:08:13.000 I was Karen-ing the guys.
00:08:14.000 I was like, that's probably enough.
00:08:16.000 You should stop.
00:08:16.000 Guys, wrap it up.
00:08:17.000 Wrap it up.
00:08:17.000 They all got COVID because they were sharing the same straw.
00:08:20.000 That whole house was fucking drenched in COVID. 0.99
00:08:22.000 You gotta use your own bills. 0.99
00:08:25.000 But yeah, white nationalism comes up 0.0001% of the time.
00:08:31.000 Cocaine comes up 46% of the time.
00:08:34.000 Yeah.
00:08:35.000 I'll never forget.
00:08:35.000 Proud Boys do hurt minorities though.
00:08:38.000 My septum was pretty ached afterwards.
00:08:41.000 They hurt minority septums. 1.00
00:08:43.000 I'll never forget that.
00:08:44.000 Remember that douche?
00:08:45.000 Was it last year?
00:08:47.000 Who... Because, like, a lot of Proud Boys live in major cities like New York City, Montreal, whatever.
00:08:53.000 They have some street smarts. 0.94
00:08:55.000 But a lot of them are Midwesterners who haven't been around prostitutes or even black people, for example. 0.76
00:09:01.000 So they're in Vegas and they're in nice guy mode. 0.93
00:09:04.000 They're almost like Swedes. 0.98
00:09:07.000 Yeah, Midwesterners are Swedish in many ways. 1.00
00:09:11.000 So they're gambling and whatever and these black women, total pieces of trash, start hitting on them. 1.00
00:09:18.000 And instead of their spidey senses, you know, crawling up, they go, damn, those girls like me. 1.00
00:09:27.000 I must be handsome as shit. 1.00
00:09:32.000 I'm a Vegas tan. 1.00
00:09:35.000 Girls don't usually crawl all over me like this. 1.00
00:09:38.000 Great guy though.
00:09:51.000 No, he's not. 1.00
00:09:52.000 He's an asshole. 1.00
00:09:53.000 If I had any druthers, I would have had him kicked out. 1.00
00:09:55.000 I hung out with him the whole time.
00:09:56.000 I felt bad he was disenfranchised and... Yeah, no one would speak to him.
00:09:59.000 Yeah.
00:10:00.000 Yeah, well you do that.
00:10:01.000 You hang out with detritus. 0.99
00:10:02.000 You're... Detritus. 1.00
00:10:03.000 You hang out with insects.
00:10:06.000 So, uh... He brings the girls up to the room, and what do they do?
00:10:10.000 One of them's making out, the other goes through everyone's wallet.
00:10:13.000 And what do you have in Vegas?
00:10:14.000 You have cash.
00:10:16.000 So, the maker-outer distracted our fat friend, and the other girl stole $1,500 cash from the various passed-out Proud Boys. 1.00
00:10:26.000 They made a run for it.
00:10:28.000 That happened the previous year with the now-deceased Levi Romero, and they didn't get any money, and as they were running away, he threw a beer at them down the hallway and hit them in the head.
00:10:40.000 Oh yeah, that's right. 0.96
00:10:41.000 That's how you do it to prostitute scammers. 1.00
00:10:45.000 But these guys were not savvy. 1.00
00:10:50.000 I see the guy by the pool the next day, and I hear the story I just told you, and he's like, yeah man, it's fucked up. 1.00
00:10:55.000 And I was like, you fucking idiot. 1.00
00:10:58.000 And I had just been in the pool, so my bare feet were out. 1.00
00:11:05.000 And my toenail was like, you know, old and crusty and broken in the middle or something, the way real men's toenails are. 0.99
00:11:11.000 And he's like, oh shit. 0.99
00:11:14.000 Damn, that's pretty banged up. 1.00
00:11:16.000 I can see why you, no wonder you hate flip flops. 0.99
00:11:20.000 And I was like, hold on a second. 1.00
00:11:22.000 Your naivete just lost your fellow, your brother's $1,500 and you're complaining about my fucking toenails? 1.00
00:11:34.000 You're dead to me. 1.00
00:11:35.000 You don't exist. 1.00
00:11:36.000 Fuck off. 1.00
00:11:37.000 I didn't know the toenails thing. 1.00
00:11:39.000 Imagine noticing a man's toenail. 0.99
00:11:43.000 I think the noble thing to do after you do something like that and you get your friends robbed is to stand up on top of the hotel you're in and say, sorry guys!
00:11:53.000 And then jump off to your death.
00:11:56.000 He watched my stuff for me when I was in the pool. 0.79
00:11:58.000 I was nice to him.
00:11:59.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:00.000 So he made up for it.
00:12:01.000 Yes.
00:12:01.000 What stuff?
00:12:02.000 Your GoPro?
00:12:04.000 Yeah, my GoPro, phone.
00:12:11.000 I can't wait till I'm king of the world.
00:12:12.000 There's so many things we're going to implement.
00:12:15.000 There's going to be landfills full of flip-flops. 0.98
00:12:20.000 Landfills.
00:12:27.000 Let's start the show, right?
00:12:28.000 Shall we start the show?
00:12:30.000 I wasn't prepared for it, but we can absolutely start the show.
00:12:33.000 We can start the show.
00:12:34.000 Let's get started. 0.99
00:12:35.000 We've got two hours with you clowns. 0.98
00:12:38.000 We're gonna do what we call starting the show. 0.98
00:12:40.000 A monster truck's gonna come from this side. 0.51
00:12:43.000 It's gonna go that way.
00:12:44.000 Trump is gonna appear here on an eagle, wave, and it's gonna say 3, 2, 1.
00:12:57.000 That was fun.
00:12:58.000 It has started.
00:12:59.000 It has begun.
00:13:00.000 What did you do today, Ryguy?
00:13:01.000 I guess I'm here.
00:13:02.000 I am not starting the show after this.
00:13:03.000 Start the show.
00:13:04.000 Did a little swim lessons with uh... Well, not lessons. 1.00
00:13:07.000 With your idiotic baby that sucks. 1.00
00:13:10.000 She rules. 1.00
00:13:11.000 She's a loser, dude. 1.00
00:13:12.000 Literally the best baby in the whole world. 1.00
00:13:13.000 How many friends does your daughter have?
00:13:16.000 None.
00:13:16.000 Two.
00:13:18.000 Mom and dad don't count.
00:13:20.000 Name one friend your baby has.
00:13:22.000 Zero.
00:13:23.000 Exactly. 1.00
00:13:24.000 Your baby's not popular because she's a idiot. 1.00
00:13:29.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:13:31.000 That's so stupid. 1.00
00:13:32.000 She likes water, but she's afraid of it too. 1.00
00:13:36.000 Like why wouldn't, I don't know.
00:13:38.000 Why would, why'd you shave her head too? 1.00
00:13:40.000 She's bald.
00:13:40.000 She's young.
00:13:42.000 So your daughter's bald. 1.00
00:13:43.000 So she's a loser. 1.00
00:13:44.000 She has no friends and she's bald. 1.00
00:13:46.000 She has plenty of friends.
00:13:47.000 There is a tuft of hair.
00:13:48.000 It's fuzzy, but it's there.
00:13:51.000 Is she in a band?
00:13:52.000 She's a beard vet.
00:13:53.000 No, she's not in a band. 1.00
00:13:54.000 She's a loser. 1.00
00:13:55.000 I played a guitar today. 1.00
00:13:56.000 You know who is in a band?
00:13:58.000 Mick Jagger.
00:13:59.000 He's cool.
00:14:00.000 Your daughter's no Mick Jagger.
00:14:02.000 Didn't Mick Jagger just relapse?
00:14:04.000 Steve Tyler of Aerosmith just relapsed.
00:14:06.000 Oh really?
00:14:07.000 Too bad I didn't care-lapse.
00:14:09.000 Carosmith.
00:14:11.000 I saw some headline in the New York Post and it said, Johnny Depp did cocaine with the guitarist from Aerosmith.
00:14:22.000 Wait, what?
00:14:24.000 Isn't that illegal?
00:14:28.000 The headline, a headline that would grab me would say, Johnny Depp didn't do cocaine with the guitarist from Aerosmith. 1.00
00:14:36.000 I'd go, what the fuck? 1.00
00:14:37.000 Why not? 1.00
00:14:38.000 What happened?
00:14:40.000 Was he hungover?
00:14:41.000 Did he just have a nosebleed?
00:14:42.000 What?
00:14:42.000 Why wouldn't you?
00:14:45.000 So, Steve Perry or Steven Tyler relapsed?
00:14:49.000 Yeah, he checked himself into rehab because he did some no-no stuff. 0.95
00:14:54.000 That's gay. 1.00
00:14:55.000 Isn't that gay? 0.99
00:14:57.000 It's gay to be a rock star and not dabble a little bit, I think. 0.99
00:15:02.000 You know what's crazy?
00:15:02.000 I remember back when Obama was president and Joe Biden was vice president and a guy named Hunter Biden that no one had heard of was caught doing cocaine.
00:15:14.000 And I tweeted out, that's how long back we're going, I tweeted out, I'm not sure I want to live in a country where the vice president's son doesn't do cocaine.
00:15:22.000 Yeah.
00:15:23.000 This was like 2004.
00:15:25.000 Good point, man.
00:15:26.000 Oh, Tim Pool's here.
00:15:27.000 Yeah, a lot of evidence came out, and guess what?
00:15:30.000 The corrupt Democrats tried to hide it. 1.00
00:15:33.000 Disgusting. 1.00
00:15:35.000 Tim, why don't you have a girlfriend? 0.99
00:15:36.000 I actually do have a girlfriend.
00:15:38.000 Yep. 0.54
00:15:39.000 Okay, well, why don't you marry and make babies? 1.00
00:15:41.000 You got good money.
00:15:42.000 We saw your studio.
00:15:43.000 It looks awesome.
00:15:44.000 Thanks.
00:15:44.000 Yeah, no, we're thinking about it right now, but we just... Thinking about it?
00:15:48.000 What are you thinking about?
00:15:48.000 Getting a boner?
00:15:50.000 Well, there's Gavin for you, but no, no, we're extending the chicken coop.
00:15:55.000 See, we have like a chicken city, right?
00:15:57.000 And so we're live-streaming it, and so you can send super chats to the chickens.
00:16:02.000 I'm asking you, why don't you breed? 0.95
00:16:03.000 That's all that matters.
00:16:04.000 Well, the chickens breed.
00:16:05.000 It matters a lot more than chickens.
00:16:06.000 The chickens breed, and they give us ether.
00:16:07.000 No, no, I'm not talking about chickens.
00:16:09.000 Don't change the subject to chickens.
00:16:10.000 For eggs.
00:16:10.000 Make babies.
00:16:12.000 Get married.
00:16:13.000 Make babies.
00:16:13.000 That's all that matters.
00:16:15.000 The only thing that exists in the world is babies. 1.00
00:16:18.000 You're dead. 0.99
00:16:20.000 Here's something I want to say to you single people. 0.99
00:16:22.000 Louis C.K.
00:16:22.000 used to joke about it.
00:16:23.000 He's like, you could die.
00:16:24.000 No one would care.
00:16:26.000 You're not alive. 0.78
00:16:28.000 You're dead. 0.99
00:16:30.000 Now, I'm not saying your life sucks. 1.00
00:16:32.000 But you're not born. 0.99
00:16:34.000 It can't suck if it doesn't be. 0.99
00:16:37.000 Yeah, until you get married and have kids, you're a larvae. 0.98
00:16:43.000 And there's nothing wrong with being a larvae, that's fine.
00:16:46.000 But just know you haven't begun.
00:16:48.000 I actually, I look back on my larvae years as awesome.
00:16:52.000 Good stuff. 0.98
00:16:54.000 Lots of partying, lots of funny shit. 0.98
00:16:56.000 It was cool. 0.99
00:16:58.000 But then you have kids and you go, oh, OK, this is what it is.
00:17:02.000 It's like this theory I had a few years ago where I was like, maybe we're in heaven now and being born is dying. 0.99
00:17:09.000 So when you're a sperm, you're a useless nothing. 0.98
00:17:13.000 And then you. 1.00
00:17:16.000 Get life, and that's heaven.
00:17:18.000 Just like, like right now, we can't imagine what heaven is.
00:17:21.000 It's not sitting on a cloud playing a harp in a dress.
00:17:24.000 It's much bigger than that.
00:17:25.000 It's unimaginable, right?
00:17:28.000 The same way a sperm can't conceive of this, we can't conceive of heaven.
00:17:34.000 So maybe this is heaven, and we're dead.
00:17:38.000 And then within that paradigm, 1.00
00:17:41.000 Before you have children, you're just a silly little thing swimming around like a sperm. 1.00
00:17:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:17:49.000 No, I totally agree. 1.00
00:17:50.000 And then you have kids and you go, Oh, and it's, it's funny too.
00:17:55.000 Cause I remember Lauren Southern talking about this one. 0.57
00:17:57.000 She said, you know, studies say that people who have kids are less happy.
00:18:02.000 And it's true, but the problem is the definition of happiness becomes so much more broad.
00:18:11.000 Like, NFL players are disappointed with their performance.
00:18:17.000 I bet you guys in the NFL are much less content and much more dissatisfied with their performance at football than I am.
00:18:27.000 I'm perfectly content with how good I am at football.
00:18:30.000 I think I'm just great. 1.00
00:18:32.000 And I obviously suck. 0.96
00:18:33.000 Because I'm not in that level. 1.00
00:18:36.000 But you talk to like a master penis, like the one in my pants, and they are like, oh, I suck on my fucking scales. 1.00
00:18:45.000 I really got to get going on those. 1.00
00:18:49.000 You know?
00:18:50.000 Yeah.
00:18:52.000 So you're only as happy as your least happy child, but you're in a new universe of joy when you have kids.
00:19:00.000 Yeah, when you have chickens, like you said- No, not chickens. 0.99
00:19:04.000 Chickens, I think, are the dumbest animal in history. 0.99
00:19:06.000 Oh, you said children. 1.00
00:19:08.000 Okay.
00:19:09.000 Sorry.
00:19:12.000 Chickens.
00:19:13.000 Honestly- I think even vegetarians can eat chickens.
00:19:16.000 They're really just plants.
00:19:19.000 You shouldn't eat a monkey. 1.00
00:19:20.000 That's fucked up. 1.00
00:19:23.000 You shouldn't eat a labradoodle. 1.00
00:19:25.000 But a chicken?
00:19:26.000 It's just a plant with eyes.
00:19:28.000 Or a cow?
00:19:29.000 It's just really a hill with legs.
00:19:33.000 Gavin, it's integral, not intregal. 0.99
00:19:37.000 You sound like a dummy.
00:19:40.000 Intregal. 0.99
00:19:41.000 Maybe it's a British thing?
00:19:44.000 I do have some strange carryovers from the various nations I've lived in.
00:19:50.000 Centrifugal?
00:19:51.000 Aluminium?
00:19:54.000 Feral you guys say feral I guess By the way in order to super chat of course many of you guys already know this but if you're new to this You would click the top banner watch live you would be clicking the watch live thing and then below it There's a little button that says donate to read message on air If you're logged in
00:20:13.000 Uh, I gotta confess, I'm worried that the show in Orlando is gonna sell out.
00:20:17.000 And you're not gonna get a chance to hang out with us.
00:20:19.000 It's going to be insanely fun.
00:20:21.000 June 25th.
00:20:23.000 The venue will be released the day of.
00:20:26.000 Uh, so get a- Here's a clue, it's central Orlando.
00:20:30.000 It's nowhere weird. 0.85
00:20:30.000 It's not gonna be like out by the airport or some shit. 0.85
00:20:33.000 So, uh, get your tickets now.
00:20:35.000 It's me doing stand-up comedy, Kumi doing stand-up comedy.
00:20:39.000 We're not gonna show it on Censored.TV.
00:20:41.000 Ryan's gonna be up there doing his various guys.
00:20:44.000 And then, when we're done, we're gonna have, like, a Kill Tony type of thing with a table, and we're gonna record a podcast.
00:20:53.000 A talk show.
00:20:55.000 And then, on top of that,
00:20:57.000 We have like a meet-and-greet with the selfies and the hangout and the beer and the talking and that's gonna have more than just me and Anthony and Josh Denny.
00:21:05.000 We'll probably have Josh LaCasse there, Jim Goad, AIU might stop by.
00:21:10.000 We're gonna have all the greats hanging out.
00:21:13.000 So that the VIP meet-and-greet is sold out but
00:21:18.000 Yesterday we changed the room and now we added 50 tickets, so it's now unsold out sick It was a hundred tickets we sold I think for the meet-and-greet so now there's 150 tickets 150 people that can meet and greet hang out
00:21:34.000 It's going to be a very fun time.
00:21:36.000 Yeah, can't wait.
00:21:38.000 Josh had a really good idea.
00:21:39.000 He just wanted to go on stage with me, with Ryan Katzu Rivera, sorry.
00:21:42.000 And just bomb.
00:21:44.000 And just completely embarrass himself.
00:21:46.000 Josh who?
00:21:46.000 Josh LaCashe.
00:21:47.000 No.
00:21:48.000 Okay.
00:21:49.000 So there's that.
00:21:52.000 So there's that.
00:21:53.000 Sorry Josh.
00:21:54.000 There's that minor detail.
00:21:57.000 You can come.
00:21:58.000 Feel free to attend though.
00:22:01.000 Johnny Apple CBD.
00:22:02.000 Ah, next sponsor on the list.
00:22:06.000 What do they have available at their site?
00:22:08.000 Limitless CBD products.
00:22:10.000 CBD is a way for you to legally get the magic of hemp without any of the illegal stuff.
00:22:18.000 You can even get high. 1.00
00:22:19.000 The Delta 5 shit gets you fucking baked. 1.00
00:22:22.000 Delta 8, my dude. 1.00
00:22:23.000 Delta 8, sorry.
00:22:25.000 Delta 5 is a punk band from Leeds.
00:22:27.000 The Vape Pen.
00:22:30.000 Ryan's a big fan of.
00:22:32.000 I'm not a big vaper.
00:22:32.000 I like the tincture in my coffee.
00:22:35.000 Takes the edge off the caffeine.
00:22:37.000 Prolongs the buzz.
00:22:38.000 Sort of like putting butter in it.
00:22:41.000 Ever try that?
00:22:42.000 Butter and coffee?
00:22:45.000 The topical cream is great for aching muscles.
00:22:50.000 Do they still have the cookies?
00:22:52.000 No more.
00:22:52.000 No more cookies.
00:22:54.000 And the gummies.
00:22:54.000 They were really good though.
00:22:55.000 The gummies are magical.
00:22:56.000 The gummies taste good.
00:22:57.000 They have that weedy taste.
00:22:58.000 I gave a gummy to my dog.
00:23:00.000 He's stressed out because we got a rabbit and he feels like he's second best.
00:23:03.000 You know why?
00:23:04.000 Because he's second best.
00:23:06.000 Ouch.
00:23:07.000 Yeah, I love him less now.
00:23:09.000 You're right.
00:23:10.000 By the way, when you're a kid and your parents have a baby and you're freaked out, you're right.
00:23:14.000 There's less love to go around.
00:23:16.000 It's just been diluted.
00:23:19.000 I remember when my second son was born, I told my daughter who was two, I go, we got you a baby.
00:23:24.000 And she loved it.
00:23:26.000 She was so happy.
00:23:27.000 And then that night she goes, I want the baby in my crib tonight, please.
00:23:31.000 And I go, uh, I didn't want my new baby to die.
00:23:36.000 So I said, uh, that's probably not, we're not going to do that. 1.00
00:23:40.000 And then I think it dawned on her, this motherfucker's lying to me. 1.00
00:23:45.000 This is bullshit. 1.00
00:23:48.000 It's another kid in the house. 1.00
00:23:50.000 It's not mine.
00:23:51.000 It's theirs.
00:23:53.000 And she was weird for 10 days. 0.97
00:23:56.000 And I think she was right to be weird.
00:23:58.000 That's what I always say to my daughter.
00:24:00.000 Trust your emotions.
00:24:02.000 They're valid.
00:24:03.000 Jealousy, anger, rage.
00:24:07.000 You may be petty or it might be something that you shouldn't act on, but you're right.
00:24:19.000 You're right, my dear.
00:24:21.000 Your anger is justified. 0.82
00:24:24.000 Anyway, Topical's great for aching muscles.
00:24:28.000 We've got the stem, what does that say?
00:24:29.000 Stem pods? 0.64
00:24:31.000 Stem 2 pods.
00:24:33.000 Stem 2 pods, isolates and wakes.
00:24:38.000 Amazing variety of stuff at JohnnyAppleCBD, and if you're gonna get any CBD stuff, why not go with someone who supports us, braves the radical leftist storm, and can handle supporting free speech.
00:24:49.000 These guys have been with us since day one.
00:24:52.000 Years and years, JohnnyApple.com has been with us.
00:24:56.000 So use promo code GAVIN and get 15% off your order, and enjoy yourself.
00:25:01.000 Oh, here we go.
00:25:02.000 Yeah, I was kind of wondering what this in my hand right here is.
00:25:05.000 The Super Hemp. 0.56
00:25:06.000 I know it's good.
00:25:07.000 The ultimate blend of CBD, CBN, and HHC for a euphoric and buttery smooth experience.
00:25:12.000 The Delta 8, which I have right here with the skull and crossbones on it, because it gets you fudged up.
00:25:19.000 Yeah, it's a little intense.
00:25:21.000 I'm too old for Delta 8.
00:25:23.000 You're doing a Delta 8 right now?
00:25:26.000 Why don't you do it?
00:25:26.000 That'd be funny.
00:25:28.000 Okay, I've done it before.
00:25:29.000 It just makes me question everything I do.
00:25:31.000 I usually just, like, blast forward with my retardation, but then I just question it, so it's just less of me. 0.90
00:25:37.000 I think maybe you should question your retardation. 1.00
00:25:40.000 It'll be a weird show.
00:25:41.000 I mean, you did say, I love football, but I don't watch it.
00:25:44.000 That's true.
00:25:45.000 That's something that should probably be questioned.
00:25:50.000 Oh, you may have noticed we have no Sylvia and no Maddie today.
00:25:53.000 Sylvia's feeling under the weather, as many 79-year-olds do.
00:25:56.000 A lot of our mainstays have medical issues, like our severely handicapped crip daddy, Donovan.
00:26:05.000 Uh-oh.
00:26:12.000 Okay.
00:26:19.000 I don't want to be stoned for this show.
00:26:21.000 No, that's not Delta 8, I promise.
00:26:23.000 I wouldn't dose people. 0.99
00:26:23.000 That's fucked up. 0.99
00:26:24.000 I would not do that. 1.00
00:26:26.000 Legit.
00:26:26.000 Yeah, dosing someone?
00:26:28.000 That's fucked up. 1.00
00:26:28.000 That's one of the most- That's like stabbing- It's a rape. 1.00
00:26:32.000 That's rape. 1.00
00:26:32.000 And it's almost as invasive as rape. 1.00
00:26:36.000 More. 0.99
00:26:36.000 Because you can- Well, don't trivialize rape, you dummy. 0.99
00:26:39.000 I'm sorry. 0.97
00:26:41.000 But, yeah, if you slip someone LSD against their will, that's like sending them to outer space.
00:26:49.000 What a fu- That's one of the scariest, most evil, dark things you could possibly do.
00:26:54.000 Didn't Louis Gomez and the- Ari Shaffir did it.
00:26:58.000 Ari Shaffir did it to who? 1.00
00:26:59.000 To Burt Kreischer.
00:27:00.000 Ari Shaffir did it to Burt Kreischer?
00:27:02.000 I think it was Molly. 1.00
00:27:04.000 Really fucked up. 0.99
00:27:05.000 That's exactly as bad. 1.00
00:27:06.000 I don't think I would forgive that guy.
00:27:08.000 Dude, it was a big problem.
00:27:09.000 That's a friendship ender.
00:27:11.000 It was a big problem.
00:27:13.000 Yeah.
00:27:13.000 Brett should dump him.
00:27:16.000 Burt?
00:27:17.000 Burt should dump him.
00:27:18.000 And Brett.
00:27:20.000 Brett shouldn't be cool with that either.
00:27:22.000 You know what I would do? 0.99
00:27:24.000 If that happened to Burt, I would have Ernie kick the shit out of him. 0.99
00:27:29.000 Hey, Burt. 1.00
00:27:31.000 You dosed me on acid, Ernie.
00:27:34.000 I went to the cardiologist and he was like, this is done.
00:27:38.000 Really?
00:27:38.000 And he's like, hey man, you're getting a fatty liver.
00:27:42.000 I've never done Mollie.
00:27:43.000 Mollie's just pure ecstasy. 1.00
00:27:45.000 Yeah, I've never done Mollie.
00:27:46.000 It's way better.
00:27:50.000 I'm Joe Rogan.
00:27:52.000 What are you talking about?
00:27:53.000 That's my meme, dude. 1.00
00:27:55.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99
00:27:59.000 I don't think there's a drug Joe Rogan hasn't done. 0.99
00:28:01.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:28:02.000 Definitely not heroin.
00:28:03.000 Definitely not meth.
00:28:04.000 He's definitely done heroin.
00:28:05.000 What?
00:28:08.000 Yes.
00:28:09.000 Wow.
00:28:09.000 Wow.
00:28:11.000 I'm completely talking out of my ass right now, by the way. 1.00
00:28:13.000 I thought so. 0.99
00:28:13.000 I'm actually doubting the words as they leave my lips. 0.99
00:28:16.000 So, you said on your show I did heroin, man.
00:28:18.000 Yeah, like East Coasters have done mass heroin, all ecstasy, but not like DMT.
00:28:26.000 West Coasters have done DMT.
00:28:28.000 Both coasts have done Special K, but West Coasters have never done crack.
00:28:33.000 Everyone on the East Coast has done crack.
00:28:37.000 Right?
00:28:37.000 Yeah, man.
00:28:39.000 A lot of people have.
00:28:41.000 Okay, let's read a letter and take a call and then go behind the paywall.
00:28:48.000 What do you think of that?
00:28:49.000 Sounds about right.
00:28:50.000 Alright, here's a letter I haven't vetted yet. 1.00
00:28:55.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.99
00:28:59.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00
00:29:05.000 Let me touch it. 0.97
00:29:09.000 Hey, gook who plays with hair too much, that's a racist insult directed towards you, Ryan. 0.99
00:29:17.000 That's crazy, man. 0.97
00:29:18.000 It's accurate because you do play with your hair too much, but the word gook is a racial epithet.
00:29:23.000 Well, yeah.
00:29:24.000 So, that's hurtful.
00:29:26.000 Wow. 1.00
00:29:27.000 And then he says, and I believe he's coming at me next with, and cheap-ass motherfucking Scotsman. 1.00
00:29:35.000 Not so bad. 1.00
00:29:37.000 I am a cheap ass. 0.98
00:29:38.000 You don't have to show the attachment, but please watch it. 0.98
00:29:40.000 I really don't give a damn if you do show it though.
00:29:43.000 I owe you for convincing me during COVID to say screw it, go for it, have another kid. 0.69
00:29:49.000 This is the result.
00:29:50.000 My third child and first child playing together with whatever is in front of them, this time a box, calms me down and makes me happier than anything after a 14-hour workday in construction.
00:30:02.000 I don't know why my wife gets the bed. 1.00
00:30:03.000 Mommy's bed. 1.00
00:30:03.000 It's also daddy's bed, you assholes. 1.00
00:30:05.000 But I would fight them. 0.99
00:30:22.000 And obviously I'm not trying my hardest with the deer on the foil, but you have to kind of let them get a leg up where they sort of get you down.
00:30:29.000 And then once they get you down, they just pile drive you and jump on you.
00:30:32.000 And it's fun.
00:30:35.000 Can't do it anymore.
00:30:35.000 My son is six feet tall.
00:30:40.000 And then he says, P.S.
00:30:41.000 Ryan, you're a great dad.
00:30:43.000 Oh, thanks.
00:30:44.000 And maybe husband, according to social media.
00:30:46.000 Keep it up, bro.
00:30:47.000 Thank you, bro.
00:30:48.000 You as well.
00:30:49.000 How do you know he's a great dad? 0.99
00:30:51.000 He could beat the shit out of those two things after the movie's over. 0.68
00:30:58.000 There was so much there that was very offensive, and I apologize for it. 0.67
00:31:02.000 Another letter here.
00:31:02.000 Hey, G-Dog.
00:31:03.000 Amber Heard's team said she did coke with Ryan, Maddie, and Syl. 1.00
00:31:08.000 You weren't invited because she said you said you will never see my hemorrhoid-riddled sexy ass again. 1.00
00:31:13.000 She claims that you turned up to her house expecting a meal and then proceeded to make fun of her in Johnny's new sunglasses. 1.00
00:31:19.000 What a complete total and a waste of time.
00:31:21.000 This man, Jamie Pennyquick, sends us about 37 emails a day.
00:31:27.000 I should probably.
00:31:28.000 Some of them were good though.
00:31:29.000 He lays the five bricks.
00:31:30.000 One time I took a screen grab of all of his emails and there was like one a minute and I go, get a life.
00:31:38.000 I like when you were attending the mailbag.
00:31:40.000 By the way, I need some more mail for Tim Poole's thing.
00:31:42.000 Can we ask people?
00:31:43.000 Okay.
00:31:44.000 Hello everyone.
00:31:45.000 Celebrity mailbag this week is Tim Poole.
00:31:47.000 So if you have any questions for Tim Poole, send them to
00:31:53.000 Mailbag.
00:31:53.000 One word at censored.tv.
00:31:57.000 Subject mailbag?
00:31:58.000 I mean, celeb mail.
00:31:59.000 We have a Canadian Baby Monster sending us a True Dope. 1.00
00:32:07.000 Latest, he says, right-wing terrorism is on the rise in Canada. 1.00
00:32:12.000 What a moron. 1.00
00:32:13.000 I honestly, I'm so vain. 1.00
00:32:15.000 I think he's doing all this because I make fun of him too much.
00:32:18.000 That the world is changing rapidly and getting more dangerous in new ways than ever before.
00:32:26.000 When we look at the prevalence of misinformation, of disinformation, the way social media has been weaponized both by foreign actors and by people within Canada pushing extremist views, trying to foment anger and discord.
00:32:42.000 Whether it's extremist ideology and right-wing terrorism on the rise in Canada or whether it's examples like the illegal protests we saw in the winter.
00:32:54.000 There are a whole new set of challenges that we need to be responding to and that's why we're working closely with 0.99
00:33:01.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! 0.99
00:33:04.000 That's enough. 1.00
00:33:27.000 Shut up! 1.00
00:33:32.000 Shut up! 1.00
00:33:33.000 Shut your mouth! 1.00
00:33:36.000 Well, it sounds like we should, um... I guess he meant Discord? 0.98
00:33:44.000 Right?
00:33:45.000 He mispronounced Discord.
00:33:46.000 Huh.
00:33:47.000 Alright, let's, uh, let's take, which means, by the way, a lack of agreement or harmony, uh, between person, things, or ideas.
00:33:53.000 Active quarreling.
00:33:56.000 I forgot, that's what Discord means.
00:33:59.000 Uh, dude.
00:34:00.000 Yup.
00:34:01.000 Let's take a call.
00:34:02.000 Alright.
00:34:04.000 You are on the air.
00:34:05.000 Um, we need to have a conversation. 1.00
00:34:07.000 This is a fucking loser. 0.99
00:34:09.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00
00:34:12.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?
00:34:14.000 You have one thing.
00:34:15.000 Thank you for calling.
00:34:16.000 It was great hearing from you.
00:34:17.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:18.000 Alright, next call.
00:34:19.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:20.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:23.000 Frankly, you've got- Frankly!
00:34:26.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:27.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:29.000 You go full volume with that, huh?
00:34:31.000 Frankly!
00:34:32.000 Bye-bye!
00:34:33.000 That's Pee-Wee Trump.
00:34:37.000 Frankly for too long!
00:34:38.000 That's the word of the day.
00:34:39.000 That's the one impression you could do, I mean, literally a thousand times better than me.
00:34:43.000 What, Pee-Wee? 1.00
00:34:44.000 Yes.
00:34:44.000 Yeah, I'm thinking about having a Pee-Wee museum where I'll have chronically famous Pee-Wees throughout history.
00:34:51.000 Ah!
00:34:52.000 That's perfect.
00:34:54.000 I don't even want to do it, I would embarrass myself.
00:34:55.000 And I've done it before, and frankly, it's not good.
00:34:58.000 Well, hello!
00:35:00.000 Can you do Pee-Wee Trump?
00:35:02.000 No.
00:35:05.000 What's Pee-Wee Trump?
00:35:06.000 Just be Pee-Wee, but say Trump.
00:35:10.000 Baby!
00:35:13.000 Ha! 0.89
00:35:13.000 You just gotta talk about how the numbers, you looked at the numbers, and frankly, they're... Yeah, I looked at the numbers, and frankly... 0.89
00:35:20.000 They're not adding up.
00:35:22.000 I don't know.
00:35:23.000 That wasn't too bad.
00:35:24.000 It's too hard.
00:35:24.000 It's hard doing mashups.
00:35:27.000 Do we have someone on the line?
00:35:29.000 Yes, we do.
00:35:29.000 I'm going to put the number on the bottom of the screen for those listening.
00:35:32.000 609, you're on the line.
00:35:37.000 Hello?
00:35:39.000 Hello, 609.
00:35:39.000 Mikey.
00:35:42.000 What'd you say?
00:35:43.000 Mikey.
00:35:45.000 Mikey! 0.65
00:35:48.000 Come on, man!
00:35:50.000 Mikey! 0.65
00:35:53.000 All right, question for you.
00:35:56.000 That's implicit.
00:35:58.000 Newly married, in our 20s, having fertility issues.
00:36:05.000 What do you do? 0.98
00:36:06.000 Are you putting it in the butt solely? 0.99
00:36:12.000 No, sir. 0.98
00:36:14.000 P to V. Okay, well, it's very simple, my friend. 0.61
00:36:19.000 Stop watching porn. 0.99
00:36:21.000 All you have to do to make a baby is never masturbate and never watch porn. 0.98
00:36:26.000 But I don't watch any, and I got a test done, and it's zero. 0.98
00:36:31.000 What?
00:36:32.000 You got a test done in what?
00:36:33.000 Zero.
00:36:35.000 And the count is zero.
00:36:36.000 What?
00:36:37.000 What does that mean? 0.54
00:36:38.000 Your sperm count is zero. 0.96
00:36:40.000 You have no sperm? 0.99
00:36:40.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:36:41.000 Wait, what could they inject?
00:36:42.000 Get over here, let me taste that. 1.00
00:36:44.000 Can we inject the, like, you know, I'm not even being facetious. 0.99
00:36:47.000 Could you take from the balls? 0.99
00:36:49.000 Maybe there's a problem with the delivery system? 1.00
00:36:51.000 That Chinese cop who was killed, he got his wife pregnant after he died via his balls. 1.00
00:36:57.000 Are you less fertile than a dead man? 1.00
00:36:58.000 How'd that happen? 0.99
00:36:59.000 You're less fertile than a dead chink? 1.00
00:37:01.000 That's a t-shirt. 0.99
00:37:02.000 Rest in peace. 0.71
00:37:05.000 Sorry, by the way, dead Chinese cop.
00:37:07.000 It just was a very funny way to say that, okay? 0.52
00:37:09.000 I apologize.
00:37:10.000 Wenjian Liu.
00:37:12.000 Dead Chinese man isn't as funny as the hard K. I'm sorry. 1.00
00:37:17.000 So I've never heard of this. 0.99
00:37:18.000 So your sperm count is zero. 0.82
00:37:19.000 You have no sperm. 0.98
00:37:20.000 What are you? 1.00
00:37:21.000 Maybe God hates you.
00:37:23.000 It's possible. 0.99
00:37:24.000 Yeah, are you evil?
00:37:25.000 Maybe you're not meant to procreate. 0.89
00:37:26.000 Yeah, do you have horns? 0.99
00:37:27.000 Are you red?
00:37:28.000 Do you have a pointy tail and hooves?
00:37:35.000 Do you like when people sin and show their inner darkness?
00:37:39.000 Do you like Black Sabbath at all?
00:37:40.000 Do you eat children? 1.00
00:37:42.000 I don't understand, so what comes out of your penis when you ejaculate? 1.00
00:37:47.000 Well, so sperm, that's the seed. 1.00
00:37:53.000 Oh yeah. 0.95
00:37:58.000 So if I would, if you were to jizz on my microscope, I would just see like the fluid.
00:38:02.000 There'd be no swimmers. 0.53
00:38:04.000 Yeah, yep.
00:38:05.000 I don't think that's a microscope. 0.99
00:38:06.000 Well, why the fuck are you calling me? 0.98
00:38:08.000 What am I gonna do? 1.00
00:38:09.000 Do you think that I do the voodoo?
00:38:12.000 Do you think I have the juju? 0.98
00:38:15.000 Okay, I will burn... What we do is we burn a bat's eyes in the middle of the night. 1.00
00:38:21.000 Then we bury that with the plantation beans from the Ugu plant. 0.99
00:38:28.000 And then your sperm count will be... 0.90
00:38:31.000 A million billion! 1.00
00:38:32.000 And then they eat my poo-poo!
00:38:34.000 And they were eating the poo-poo all over the place. 0.99
00:38:37.000 First we lay you down in a bed of straw.
00:38:39.000 What I was saying was, you know, you always talk about how it's the most fulfilling thing you can do.
00:38:45.000 So what I'm saying is like, if that's not a possibility, how does one cope?
00:38:53.000 Adopt! 0.98
00:38:54.000 Yeah, get yourself a black kid. 1.00
00:38:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.93
00:39:01.000 Why is that unrealistic?
00:39:04.000 I know four people who have adopted kids.
00:39:06.000 What?
00:39:06.000 I didn't say adopt an 18 year old.
00:39:08.000 Adopt a baby.
00:39:17.000 I don't know, man.
00:39:18.000 I know, man.
00:39:19.000 Adopt. 0.98
00:39:20.000 Get yourself a negro. 1.00
00:39:24.000 Is this Jazz Jennings' wife? 0.88
00:39:29.000 Anyway, we gotta go.
00:39:30.000 Thanks for calling.
00:39:32.000 Sorry, sir.
00:39:32.000 Alright, that I think was a good taste of the variety of superchats, which I don't see one there, phone calls, and mail.
00:39:42.000 We mentioned our sponsors.
00:39:45.000 I do Need of Fashions every second week, but I believe I mentioned them last week.
00:39:49.000 Don't hesitate to go to needoffashions.com.
00:39:51.000 Make sure you mention my name and you'll get a good deal.
00:39:54.000 It's for cheap, rich people like me.
00:39:56.000 They make all my suits.
00:39:58.000 And that is it for the freebies.
00:40:03.000 I would like to apologize for the racial epithets I said on this show.
00:40:07.000 That's not who I am.
00:40:09.000 It's not what this network is.
00:40:13.000 And if I'm not fired and I'm here tomorrow, that'll be a good thing. 0.97
00:40:20.000 But on the off chance this is my last show ever for saying the word chink, I want to say I am sorry and I fucked up.
00:40:28.000 I know this isn't what you want and I'm sorry. 0.93
00:40:32.000 So get fired, which I'm about to be, get in trouble, be brave, und never stoppin' de feischenschnuffen! 1.00
00:41:03.000 Fuck the kids on the sidewalk that laugh at me when I fall over. 1.00
00:41:07.000 Fuck that old lady that gives me that fucking stink eye. 1.00
00:41:11.000 Fuck that little stupid dog with a... 1.00