Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #151 - THE ROLLING STONES VS. TIM ARMSTRONG (Part 1)


Summary

Gavin McInnes and Matty O'Dell are back, and this week, Gavin is joined by the intern with too much responsibility, Ryan Rivera, to discuss a variety of topics, including the death of Vin Diesel, the new G-Sauce ad, and the current state of the economy. Also, Matty tries to figure out how to dress up as the Heatmiser from Jack Frost, and Gavin talks about how he's obsessed with old stop-motion cartoons, including Jack Frost and the Abominable Snowman, and how he thinks the government is trying to take control of your money through the use of stolen gold and other precious metals. And, of course, there's a new segment on the show called "Vince's Day Off" where they talk about the Antifa attack on the stand-up comedy club in which they were shot at by members of the counter-protest movement, and why they think it's a good idea to have gold and precious metals in your possession in the event of a civil war. Also, we talk about how the economy is in the tank and how important it is to have a backup plan in case shit hits the fan, and what to do in case it does hit the fan and you don't have enough money to get through the worst of the worst possible day of your life. Get Off My Lawn Live is a show that's coming to Orlando, FL on June 25th, 2019. Get your tickets here! Get off my Lawn and enjoy the show! Get On My Lawn LIVE! Subscribe to the show here on Gavin' Live from New York here on Tuesday, June 25, 2019! and get 20% off your first month with the discount code GAVIN! at checkout at checkout, and get 15% off the entire month of the show, Gavyn's Place! GAVEN'S DAY OFF for the month of May, GAVN'S PLACE! Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about the show on social media and on GAVON'S LUNCHEON GIVEN HERE! . . . . Gavon McINnes is a guy who does standup comedy, and he does stand up, and GAVon is a dude who does it all, so he does it right here in person too! , and he also does it in person, too. .


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:49.000 Hello folks and welcome back to Get Off My Lawn live every Thursday night.
00:00:54.000 I'd like to welcome our co-host Matty O'Dell.
00:00:58.000 What's going on everybody?
00:00:59.000 Good to be back.
00:01:00.000 As well as the intern with too much responsibility Ryan Catsoup Rivera.
00:01:10.000 That went to a Slim Jim.
00:01:13.000 We were trying to Vin Diesel us?
00:01:15.000 Maybe.
00:01:15.000 What was that?
00:01:16.000 Did you see the Asian Vin Diesel?
00:01:18.000 The Asian Vin Diesel?
00:01:20.000 Somebody sent me on Twitter.
00:01:21.000 It was very insulting.
00:01:22.000 Isn't that Vin Diesel?
00:01:24.000 He's every race in the world.
00:01:25.000 He's like Fred Armisen.
00:01:26.000 Picture Vin Diesel but Chinese.
00:01:27.000 He's 32 races.
00:01:29.000 That's Vindasian.
00:01:30.000 Vindasian.
00:01:32.000 It's a very difficult Vindasian.
00:01:34.000 You know, our ad guy is telling me to read this new thing, G-Sauce.
00:01:38.000 I don't know.
00:01:40.000 I'm sick of him.
00:01:41.000 It takes forever to get paid.
00:01:44.000 Fuck him.
00:01:44.000 I'm not reading his shit today.
00:01:46.000 I'm going to read the people that contact us directly that we work with.
00:01:50.000 I think your days are numbered here, old Vince.
00:01:52.000 You're a retard.
00:01:54.000 Fop Medals.
00:01:56.000 Today's episode is brought to you by Fop Medals.
00:01:58.000 It's counterintuitive how it's spelled.
00:02:01.000 P-H-A-U-P.
00:02:03.000 The economy is in the tank.
00:02:05.000 We are at the brink of a civil war.
00:02:08.000 If shit does hit the fan, you're not going to want the government to be in control of your finances.
00:02:15.000 You're going to want to have something tangible in your hand.
00:02:19.000 Just like you should have some extra water in the basement for a water shortage, you should have a generator for an electrical shortage, you should have precious metals for a money shortage.
00:02:33.000 So if you go to FAUP, P-H-A-U-P, metals.com, put in the promo code GAVIN, you get 15% off.
00:02:42.000 What's that?
00:02:42.000 Free shippings on orders over 150 bucks?
00:02:44.000 Get like 150 bucks.
00:02:45.000 I don't know.
00:02:48.000 Get 200 bucks.
00:02:50.000 Just have it around.
00:02:51.000 It's good to have.
00:02:53.000 I have five pounds.
00:02:54.000 And we're not, we're not, you have five pounds?
00:02:57.000 Of silver, yeah.
00:02:57.000 Where in your house?
00:02:59.000 Well, I can't say that.
00:03:00.000 Come and get it.
00:03:03.000 Where roughly?
00:03:04.000 By the way, Matty is obsessed with these old stop-motion cartoons, uh, animation, and he is dressed tonight as the Heat Miser.
00:03:14.000 From, uh... Jack Frost, I think that was?
00:03:17.000 I'm Mr. White Christmas.
00:03:20.000 He's up there with the Abominable Snowman.
00:03:22.000 Yeah.
00:03:23.000 Those cartoons were so fucking good.
00:03:25.000 I loved it.
00:03:26.000 When I was looking at you when it was worse, 50% of my mind was going, who the fuck does he look like?
00:03:32.000 It's killing me.
00:03:33.000 So then I spent a good hour on the computer going through the people who made Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
00:03:42.000 Brooke Baskin or something like that?
00:03:44.000 Carol Baskins.
00:03:46.000 Carol Baskins.
00:03:47.000 And that's how I got to the Heatmizer.
00:03:51.000 There he is.
00:03:52.000 There's Matty O'Dell.
00:03:54.000 Yes, my nose was horrendous when I got back Friday night.
00:03:59.000 Saturday was worse.
00:04:01.000 But I've been putting all sorts of creams and ointments on it.
00:04:04.000 So it's getting better.
00:04:05.000 It was bleeding.
00:04:06.000 Yeah.
00:04:08.000 I thought you said the abominable snowman.
00:04:10.000 Yeah.
00:04:11.000 I've always had a lot of trouble with that word.
00:04:13.000 Abominable.
00:04:13.000 We're gonna have a lot of snowflakes.
00:04:15.000 We're gonna make people cold.
00:04:16.000 A lot of cold folks.
00:04:17.000 That's why he's so worried about global warming.
00:04:19.000 He doesn't want to melt.
00:04:20.000 Yeah.
00:04:21.000 Anyway, phaupfopmedals.com.
00:04:24.000 Thank you for sponsoring the show.
00:04:26.000 I don't know if they're vets.
00:04:27.000 They might be our only non-vet.
00:04:28.000 Oh, there it is.
00:04:29.000 Veteran Owned.
00:04:30.000 This was not a plan.
00:04:32.000 The Veteran Owned thing.
00:04:33.000 It just happened.
00:04:34.000 I guess because vets don't care when Antifa emails them and says, you're supporting fascism.
00:04:41.000 And they go, no, I know what fascism is.
00:04:43.000 It shot at me.
00:04:45.000 So I'm not listening to you.
00:04:48.000 Although in other news, our show on June 25th in Orlando, Maddie will be there.
00:04:55.000 Ryan will be there.
00:04:56.000 Jim Gold will be there.
00:04:58.000 Josh, Kumia and I will be doing our stand up comedy.
00:05:02.000 We've always will be doing in the past, but well, Josh can still do it.
00:05:06.000 But Kumia and I are banned everywhere.
00:05:10.000 So I haven't done stand-up since the last time I did it, everyone went to jail.
00:05:16.000 You will not be going to jail, of course, this time.
00:05:20.000 No, that's not the correct URL anymore, Ryan.
00:05:23.000 We went through this quite a bit, actually.
00:05:25.000 Did we not?
00:05:26.000 It's censored.tv slash... So why would you put up... You just put up a URL as I'm explaining why that URL doesn't work.
00:05:36.000 Correct.
00:05:37.000 That's a feat.
00:05:39.000 This guy's impressive.
00:05:41.000 So we have a problem with our AC, our HVAC.
00:05:44.000 The door was left open on the thing on the roof and the insulation on the door started tearing apart and getting sucked into the fan and sucked into our whole system.
00:05:53.000 So occasionally a little bit of what looks like Grover fur.
00:05:58.000 It looked like a Grover was killed on the roof and they'll fall down on the ground.
00:06:03.000 Other little fragments of the inside of the door because the fan is sucking at the door.
00:06:08.000 So Ryan comes up to my desk about a week ago, and we had a big fire way down the street, like a block away.
00:06:15.000 He doesn't want to touch one of these particles for some strange reason.
00:06:18.000 It's just insulation, fragments, debris, whatever.
00:06:21.000 So he's using tongs.
00:06:23.000 The tongs he's using are the little brown plastic things that are in a coffee lid.
00:06:29.000 I don't know what those are, by the way.
00:06:30.000 The Dunkin'.
00:06:31.000 What are those?
00:06:32.000 Are those to prevent the water, the coffee splooshing out when you drive?
00:06:36.000 I think so.
00:06:37.000 So he has two of those and he's holding this little thing and he goes, check this out.
00:06:42.000 I go, first of all, why aren't you touching it?
00:06:44.000 That's gross!
00:06:45.000 Ooh, it's so gross.
00:06:47.000 And he goes, I know what this is.
00:06:48.000 I finally figured it out.
00:06:50.000 Everyone calls me Detective Shitty.
00:06:51.000 Oh yeah?
00:06:52.000 Who's laughing now?
00:06:54.000 It's debris from the fire.
00:06:56.000 Particles floated down the street and then went into our shit.
00:07:03.000 But here's my favorite part.
00:07:05.000 When the HVAC guy came and he went up there, we didn't go up there, he showed us pictures and he explained everything and you could see the insulation ripped from the door in the fan, you could see it all caught up in there.
00:07:16.000 We had a little video.
00:07:17.000 We got a video, we got the whole system.
00:07:21.000 This is the amazing part and this is why Ryan's dumb.
00:07:24.000 Because he has a brick wall around his brain where he's never wrong.
00:07:30.000 So he never improves like a good scientist goes off at a tangent thinking that's this and then once he realizes that's not that he goes oh shit I'm wrong.
00:07:40.000 Now you'll notice with the left and who's a Nazi they'll be like Proud Boys are Nazis and you go wait there's black dudes and there's Proud Boys Israel and there's gays and they go
00:07:49.000 Huh.
00:07:50.000 You can be a Nazi Jew.
00:07:53.000 I didn't realize that.
00:07:55.000 Or you could be a not like white guys who own slaves.
00:07:58.000 They would fuck their slaves.
00:07:59.000 So you can be a racist with a black wife like Thomas Jefferson.
00:08:04.000 In other words, they don't veer off their course.
00:08:07.000 They stick with the thing, even as the evidence hits him.
00:08:10.000 Ryan's the same way.
00:08:11.000 You know what he said like an hour ago?
00:08:12.000 I go, well, it looks like your terrible theory about fire debris didn't pan out.
00:08:17.000 And he goes, no, I still think it's true.
00:08:20.000 I haven't had a good belly laugh like that in many weeks.
00:08:23.000 They look burned.
00:08:26.000 The evidence is presented to him by a professional and he sticks with theory A. He probably thinks Proud Boys are Nazis too.
00:08:34.000 I haven't seen any evidence against it.
00:08:36.000 I haven't seen them zig hailing but I haven't seen them not zig hailing.
00:08:40.000 Fantastic.
00:08:42.000 So that opening song was Viagra Boys, Punk Rock Loser.
00:08:45.000 What a fantastic band.
00:08:47.000 They just keep hitting it out of the park.
00:08:49.000 Rarely, it's very rare a band is so consistent.
00:08:52.000 You know, it's a real, it's another sprinkles from God where he just goes, I'm going to make this guy a hit machine.
00:09:00.000 And the Viagra Boys, every song is fucking perfect.
00:09:04.000 I was listening to Rancid in the car today, and I think he wrote a lot of Lars Erikson's songs, and you think of him with Operation Ivy, and you're just like, the guy's a fucking hit machine.
00:09:14.000 He's like Billy Joel or Bruce Springsteen, or, well, I guess Sword of the Stones, but he just keeps sprinkling all these hits.
00:09:23.000 Actually, you know what?
00:09:24.000 No, not the Stones.
00:09:25.000 The Stones have been around since before I was born, and they've got like 10 bangers.
00:09:33.000 Tim, what's his name?
00:09:35.000 From Rancid.
00:09:36.000 What's his name again?
00:09:37.000 The main guy?
00:09:39.000 Operation Ivy were the early 90s.
00:09:42.000 Joel Madden?
00:09:43.000 No, that's Joel Madden.
00:09:46.000 And Tim Armstrong.
00:09:47.000 Tim Armstrong.
00:09:49.000 That Lars Fredricksen, did I say Lars earlier?
00:09:52.000 Lars Fredricksen was like a few years ago.
00:09:55.000 So in 20 years, oh actually it's about the same number of years, some of the theories will be shit.
00:10:03.000 But the Stones are way bigger, so it goes to show that Rancid, although they're not as big, they came out with just as many hits as the Rolling Stones, which everybody's creaming their damn jeans about.
00:10:17.000 Yeah, but we're not talking about that.
00:10:19.000 We're talking about the amount of time it takes to have a bunch of hits.
00:10:23.000 Yeah, but I'm saying they had the same amount of time, same amount of hits, but yet they're not as big as the Stones?
00:10:30.000 What the hell?
00:10:32.000 Okay.
00:10:33.000 I'm not enjoying this conversation anymore.
00:10:34.000 Uh, the other night I kept trying to remember the word, your own facility, your own power of autonomy.
00:10:42.000 And we must've got a hundred emails saying the word you're looking for Gavin is agency.
00:10:46.000 Ah, you're saying we don't have their own agency.
00:10:50.000 Yes.
00:10:51.000 You're denying someone of their agency, meaning their ability to conduct themselves and be in control of their actions.
00:10:59.000 So.
00:11:00.000 Thank you for that.
00:11:01.000 I'll never make that mistake again.
00:11:02.000 So there we go.
00:11:03.000 That's the correct URL.
00:11:05.000 Censored.TV slash Orlando.
00:11:09.000 And not to give too much away, but Donald Trump is going to be there.
00:11:13.000 That's true.
00:11:15.000 And Jordan Peterson.
00:11:17.000 Chin Diesel.
00:11:18.000 And Jesse Lee Peterson via Ryan, by the way.
00:11:21.000 Oh, that's Chin Diesel.
00:11:23.000 I like him.
00:11:25.000 He got vinned.
00:11:26.000 I rived my rife a quarter kilometer at a time.
00:11:30.000 I didn't even read that.
00:11:31.000 That's hilarious.
00:11:36.000 It looks like Vince, I mean, yeah, Vin and the guy that he kicked off the set, the director that quit.
00:11:42.000 Oh yeah, they had a baby.
00:11:43.000 That's why they quit.
00:11:44.000 Yeah.
00:11:44.000 Irreconcilable diffs.
00:11:49.000 So as you know, the way this show goes, it's free to everyone in the world.
00:11:53.000 Thanks to the sponsors.
00:11:54.000 We go behind a paywall around half an hour in.
00:11:57.000 We read letters.
00:12:00.000 Which I have some bad news about.
00:12:02.000 And we take calls.
00:12:04.000 Then we have the super chat.
00:12:05.000 Up here in the corner, the super chat goes to Max and John.
00:12:09.000 Those are the guys who went to jail the last time I did stand-up comedy.
00:12:12.000 And obviously I'm talking about the talk at the Metropolitan Club in New York where Antifa ambushed them and they beat the shit out of Antifa, which is Verboten.
00:12:22.000 That's the DNC's paramilitary wing.
00:12:25.000 So they were sent away for four years.
00:12:27.000 They're on their last year now.
00:12:28.000 And I'd like them to have some cash when they get out.
00:12:32.000 John Kinsman, who incidentally has a black wife, lost his welding inspector's license.
00:12:39.000 It expired in there.
00:12:41.000 So they're going to need some time.
00:12:42.000 I think Max, who works in the railroads, has retained his job and they'll take him back.
00:12:49.000 That's one good thing about diversity.
00:12:50.000 They're used to having a lot of black guys there and they're used to criminal records.
00:12:54.000 And people going away for a while.
00:12:56.000 Also, speaking of going away, great news.
00:12:59.000 The left is being punished.
00:13:01.000 Michael Avenatti got four years for robbing Stormy Daniels, which is exactly what Tucker said on the show.
00:13:09.000 He said, why are you ripping off this poor woman?
00:13:12.000 She's not rich.
00:13:13.000 She's going to these small strip clubs in butt-fuck Idaho and having people sign her tits.
00:13:20.000 Wait, that doesn't make sense.
00:13:22.000 I want to go sign a celebrity's tits.
00:13:24.000 If I meet Billie Eilish, I'm going to say that.
00:13:26.000 Can I sign your tits with your name?
00:13:30.000 No, she's doing those autograph signings and fucking pathetic strip dancing.
00:13:35.000 Oh my god, what's the matter with my brain?
00:13:37.000 I took this pre-workout this morning and I've had the most erratic day.
00:13:40.000 I've been to the studio three times today.
00:13:43.000 Went to the gym, went back to the gym, was bringing my daughter to the gym, cancelled it, went back and forth.
00:13:49.000 Rode my motorcycle, my car, and I forgot my fucking computer.
00:13:52.000 So the mail will be read by... Down syndrome.
00:13:56.000 Rivera.
00:13:58.000 Did you take guerrilla mode?
00:14:00.000 Yes.
00:14:02.000 I don't know if I want it anymore.
00:14:04.000 And I worked out so hard I puked.
00:14:06.000 Have you ever tried a pre-workout with beta alanine in it?
00:14:10.000 Well, I worked out with you, so I've tried it with beta Rivera.
00:14:19.000 Are those fake eyelashes peeking out under your hat?
00:14:24.000 Did you rob a black girl on the way here?
00:14:26.000 Those things are getting so fucking absurd.
00:14:31.000 I've had enough of those fake eyelashes.
00:14:33.000 They look like palm fronds.
00:14:36.000 It used to be a ghetto thing.
00:14:38.000 Now it's upper middle class, Texan women, white women, everyone is wearing them like they don't look like a clown dressed as a woman for Halloween.
00:14:48.000 You look ridiculous!
00:14:52.000 You look fucking retarded!
00:14:54.000 Those don't look like eyelashes!
00:14:58.000 Stop!
00:14:58.000 Please!
00:14:59.000 They're not even put on well.
00:15:02.000 A poodle!
00:15:03.000 You can see like the glue and it's just pathetic.
00:15:06.000 Fake eyelashes are for girls who have no eyelashes to try to look like they have some eyelashes.
00:15:11.000 It's not for girls who have normal pretty eyelashes to add these fucking weird parakeet hands lifting up to God, praying on the top of your fucking eyes.
00:15:23.000 You look like Ryan Catzee Rivera's bangs.
00:15:26.000 Thank you.
00:15:30.000 It's true.
00:15:32.000 It's true?
00:15:32.000 That's true.
00:15:36.000 Oh shit!
00:15:36.000 You know what just happened?
00:15:39.000 What is a woman is launched right now.
00:15:42.000 I heard.
00:15:43.000 Matt Walsh's documentary.
00:15:44.000 They tried to shut it down, I heard.
00:15:45.000 Oh fuck.
00:15:46.000 He's a survivor.
00:15:49.000 We rebounded from our ticket sales.
00:15:50.000 Wait, I'm all over the place here.
00:15:51.000 So did I finish the ticket sales thing?
00:15:53.000 Orlando Weekly was handling the ticket sales.
00:15:56.000 They do that for most venues.
00:15:57.000 They've got a great infrastructure where you go to their site, you buy the tickets, they send the money to the venue, they take a massive percentage.
00:16:04.000 And they got harassed by a couple of BITER male comedians.
00:16:11.000 I think I know who it was but I don't want to give them the pleasure of talking about them.
00:16:17.000 But these failed comedians who are clearly on the spectrum and they get revenge on comedy for rejecting them by making it reject other people.
00:16:25.000 And Orlando weekly chickened out.
00:16:28.000 So that's why we're doing it through Eventbrite.
00:16:31.000 They will likely chicken out too.
00:16:34.000 And we have plan BCD all the way to the end of the alphabet, which is the way you have to do things.
00:16:40.000 And I assume Daily Wire and Matt Walsh are the same, but they're not that controversial.
00:16:44.000 The thing about Daily Wire and Matt Walsh is they get complaints from far-left lunatics.
00:16:53.000 We get complaints from everyone.
00:16:57.000 So it's a much wider swath of the offended.
00:16:59.000 Like, who does Ben Shapiro offend?
00:17:03.000 Palestinians, that's about it.
00:17:06.000 But anyway, can we pull it up?
00:17:07.000 Can we look at it?
00:17:09.000 Yes.
00:17:09.000 Luckily, uh, my wife is signed up.
00:17:13.000 And I, and I'm going to pull... Whoa!
00:17:15.000 The rad zone!
00:17:18.000 Look at that.
00:17:18.000 Palm trees, baby.
00:17:19.000 Look at all that shit I bought you.
00:17:21.000 Thank you.
00:17:22.000 Palm trees, not pine trees.
00:17:25.000 Palm fronds.
00:17:27.000 Eyelash trees.
00:17:27.000 Let's see here.
00:17:30.000 So let's, well, let's introduce it first.
00:17:31.000 So 1-2 introduces it.
00:17:34.000 This is obviously Matt Walsh with his woman wife and his... His woman wife, yes.
00:17:39.000 As opposed to... No sound?
00:17:42.000 New documentary shows pediatricians saying prepubescent kids are ready for trans hormone therapy whenever they ask for it, and claiming you can pause hormones like music with the same drugs used to chemically castrate pedophiles.
00:17:56.000 Now, I'm kind of way too trusting sometimes, and when they said it's reversible, I thought, huh, maybe all the shit I read is just wrong.
00:18:06.000 It's not reversible.
00:18:08.000 You're permanently infertile as a woman if you block your puberty.
00:18:12.000 And that's pretty obvious!
00:18:15.000 Like, this is what we use to chemically castrate pedophiles.
00:18:18.000 Puberty, obviously, is a massive tsunami.
00:18:23.000 Remember?
00:18:24.000 Remember when you were going through it?
00:18:26.000 And getting dumped was like having your legs ripped off?
00:18:29.000 And falling in love with a girl was like doing heroin and cocaine in your fucking placenta?
00:18:36.000 And getting in a fight was the scariest thing in the world?
00:18:39.000 And then fighting was turning into a fucking Tasmanian devil?
00:18:44.000 I mean, wanting to kill someone, wanting to marry someone.
00:18:47.000 The emotions are overwhelming.
00:18:50.000 Fuck, it's intense.
00:18:51.000 And being good at it, if you will.
00:18:53.000 It's a Slayer song for five or six years.
00:18:56.000 Not to mention the insane horniness.
00:18:59.000 Praying to God to stop masturbating.
00:19:02.000 Please, please.
00:19:03.000 I'm so fucking horny.
00:19:05.000 I come really, really hard.
00:19:08.000 Remember unwanted boners on the bus and in class?
00:19:12.000 Looking down, saying, just go away.
00:19:14.000 You're constantly hiding your fucking boners.
00:19:18.000 And I'm not even getting the full scope of it.
00:19:21.000 Waking up in the middle of the night with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of your head.
00:19:29.000 God, I got Biden Mouse tonight.
00:19:31.000 I'll eat your ass.
00:19:32.000 It's hilarious.
00:19:33.000 You can't yell at your child.
00:19:35.000 You can't discipline them.
00:19:36.000 Can't smack him on the ass, can't do any of that, but you can fucking chemically castrate him.
00:19:41.000 You can stop a chemical tsunami happening to him.
00:19:44.000 It's Chinese foot binding is what it is.
00:19:47.000 And we saw with the Chinese, we saw these old ladies, they're still alive, these 90-year-old Chinese ladies, and their feet are a closed fist from Chinese foot binding.
00:19:57.000 Can eight-year-olds vote?
00:19:59.000 I do not... No, they may not.
00:20:01.000 Can they drive?
00:20:02.000 They may not.
00:20:03.000 But they're going to decide what gender they're going to be.
00:20:05.000 They can't get tattoos, but they can... No offense, but it sounds like some fucking commie gobbledygook.
00:20:13.000 It's... It's... The parents, the doctors, all should be sent to fucking prison.
00:20:17.000 Yes.
00:20:18.000 That do that to these children.
00:20:19.000 The foot binding is just your feet.
00:20:20.000 It's incredibly painful, but it's just your feet.
00:20:22.000 This is your entire body, your entire essence, and we're blocking.
00:20:25.000 We have no idea what the long-term effects are.
00:20:28.000 This is all brand new.
00:20:29.000 Anyway, this pediatrician that's on the show, she shuts down the interview.
00:20:32.000 Everyone seems to shut down the interviews on this because he says horrible things like what is a woman and what is truth.
00:20:38.000 She dresses like Gandhi and yeah, she is in complete denial about the dangers of this fucking drug and says you could just pause it.
00:20:49.000 But I hate the way she dresses like Gandhi.
00:20:53.000 What is that?
00:20:54.000 Is it 180 degrees in that room?
00:20:57.000 Are you in Lahore, Pakistan?
00:21:01.000 Are you an extra in Tatooine on Star Wars?
00:21:04.000 That was pretty good.
00:21:07.000 Then why didn't I laugh?
00:21:08.000 Did I take laugh blockers?
00:21:10.000 No, it was just true.
00:21:11.000 It's not funny.
00:21:13.000 Getting bigger and busier and they're worried about all kinds of masculine changes.
00:21:17.000 So your penis is getting busier?
00:21:18.000 Your penis is getting busier.
00:21:19.000 I've got a meeting.
00:21:20.000 I can't fuck you.
00:21:21.000 I'm sorry.
00:21:21.000 Hey Dick, hurry up.
00:21:22.000 I gotta piss.
00:21:22.000 Sorry man.
00:21:24.000 I can piss at 3.30 on Friday.
00:21:26.000 What?
00:21:29.000 I gotta piss now.
00:21:30.000 Can't do it.
00:21:31.000 I'm answering emails.
00:21:33.000 Bluetooth headset on it?
00:21:35.000 I'm sorry, what's that on you?
00:21:37.000 My dick is so big, you know where I would get the Bluetooth headset for my dick?
00:21:41.000 Where?
00:21:41.000 From a normal Bluetooth headset store.
00:21:44.000 Nice.
00:21:48.000 You want to see all the accessories I would get for my dick if it was a person?
00:21:51.000 Go into a person store.
00:21:53.000 The iPhone Max?
00:21:55.000 A motorcycle helmet that would go on my dick is a motorcycle helmet.
00:22:00.000 That would happen to go on my dick.
00:22:01.000 Yeah.
00:22:02.000 You want to see the kind of leather jacket I put on my penis?
00:22:04.000 Go to a store and buy a leather jacket.
00:22:06.000 Go to the big and tall section.
00:22:08.000 Get yourself a nice leather.
00:22:11.000 You know where I get my underwear?
00:22:13.000 What?
00:22:14.000 Kohl's.
00:22:15.000 The tent store.
00:22:17.000 The tent, so you wear a tent.
00:22:20.000 My god, that's a big penis.
00:22:21.000 Always take it one joke too far.
00:22:23.000 I need to circumcise my jokes.
00:22:25.000 Yeah.
00:22:26.000 You do, you have the key impelitis.
00:22:28.000 Where they send every bit into like outer space.
00:22:31.000 Well that's a different problem.
00:22:33.000 I'm talking about too many examples.
00:22:35.000 I give example exhaustion.
00:22:36.000 They over exaggerate.
00:22:38.000 That's true.
00:22:39.000 Which is an annoying word I can't believe I just used.
00:22:40.000 So let's see more of her.
00:22:42.000 And don't have permanent effects are wonderful because we can put that pause on puberty.
00:22:48.000 Just like if you were listening to music, you put the pause on.
00:22:52.000 Sounds great.
00:22:52.000 Stop the blockers and puberty would go right back to where it was.
00:22:57.000 The next note in the song just delayed that period of time.
00:23:01.000 You can just pause puberty.
00:23:02.000 Can I just, can I start puberty up when I'm 40?
00:23:06.000 Right.
00:23:06.000 I'll have no pubes.
00:23:08.000 A high voice.
00:23:09.000 And then all of a sudden it's back to what's... Who's the guy who's done this before?
00:23:12.000 All these crazy experiments on kids.
00:23:13.000 His name is Dr. Mengele.
00:23:14.000 Right.
00:23:17.000 Well, he was bad.
00:23:18.000 They're good.
00:23:19.000 Nazis are okay sometimes, according to the left.
00:23:21.000 We have the Azov Battalion.
00:23:22.000 They're fine.
00:23:23.000 Not good.
00:23:24.000 Can we make Azov Battalion shirts with, like, the flag all over the place?
00:23:28.000 The Ukrainian flag?
00:23:29.000 We're not banned enough.
00:23:30.000 Let's start dancing around swastikas.
00:23:35.000 Okay, go to 1-3.
00:23:51.000 More teasers.
00:23:53.000 It's kind of a dumb idea to say, let's check out this hour and a half long documentary for five minutes.
00:23:59.000 I think we'll cover it with the intros and we can all watch it on our own.
00:24:03.000 Oh, so here she is fucking up.
00:24:05.000 Oh no, this isn't the one where she stopped the interview.
00:24:07.000 This is one where she, he says, is a chicken male or female?
00:24:11.000 No, your sperm don't make you male.
00:24:13.000 Then what does?
00:24:15.000 It's a constellation.
00:24:16.000 In reality.
00:24:18.000 In truth.
00:24:19.000 Okay?
00:24:20.000 Whose truth are we talking about?
00:24:22.000 The same truth that says we're sitting in this room right now, you and I. No.
00:24:25.000 You're not listening.
00:24:26.000 If I see a chicken laying eggs and I say that's a female chicken laying eggs, did I assign female or am I just observing a physical reality that's happening in the world?
00:24:34.000 Does a chicken have gender identity?
00:24:36.000 Does a chicken cry?
00:24:37.000 Does a chicken commit suicide?
00:24:39.000 Let's frame it... Because you're talking... You're trying to... A chicken has sex like any biological organism.
00:24:44.000 A chicken has an assigned gender.
00:24:46.000 I love that line.
00:24:46.000 That's why I only really showed that.
00:24:48.000 Does a chicken cry?
00:24:49.000 Dude, that's a drop.
00:24:53.000 Does a chicken cry?
00:24:54.000 Does a chicken cross the road?
00:24:55.000 In fact, we should say that every time we get cancelled or banned, like when Orlando Weekly chickens out, we go, does a chicken cry?
00:25:01.000 You should throw that into like a riveting speech.
00:25:03.000 You're just not listening.
00:25:05.000 When we get fired, when we get cancelled by our family for who we like politically, think, does a chicken cry?
00:25:12.000 We have to get out there.
00:25:14.000 Hey, I'm not Braveheart, you know.
00:25:16.000 I'm not Mike Tyson.
00:25:18.000 I'm no fancy warrior.
00:25:19.000 I'm just like you.
00:25:20.000 I get scared.
00:25:21.000 Does a chicken cry?
00:25:22.000 Yeah!
00:25:24.000 This chicken cries.
00:25:25.000 And then just skip right over it and be like, do you remember the fucking chicken?
00:25:28.000 She said, does a chicken have identity?
00:25:30.000 Yeah.
00:25:31.000 The fucking rooster, the cock?
00:25:33.000 Yeah.
00:25:34.000 It's crystal clear who the males and the females are in the chicken world.
00:25:39.000 You're just not listening.
00:25:41.000 And I'm glad she brought that up because on farms, they'll bring in, like to a turkey farm, they'll bring a male turkey in
00:25:49.000 Just to sort of calm everyone.
00:25:52.000 He's not fucking anything.
00:25:53.000 They've already worked all that out.
00:25:55.000 Everyone here is dying.
00:25:56.000 They're for Thanksgiving.
00:25:57.000 But his presence there stops them from infighting and attacking each other.
00:26:02.000 He creates an order.
00:26:03.000 Similarly with cows.
00:26:05.000 They'll bring a bull in.
00:26:05.000 He's not there to fuck anyone, but just his presence there seems to calm the herd.
00:26:10.000 Same thing with guppies in a fish tank.
00:26:12.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
00:26:13.000 Really?
00:26:14.000 Yeah.
00:26:16.000 Okay, so this is the last one we'll show, and I guess, will we show the movie?
00:26:20.000 That'd be dumb.
00:26:20.000 I have a gender identity.
00:26:23.000 Not that one.
00:26:23.000 1-4.
00:26:24.000 Fucking 1-4.
00:26:25.000 It's a thing.
00:26:26.000 I can't tell if it's male or female, but Matt just keeps saying, what is truth?
00:26:35.000 And it's his N-word.
00:26:37.000 And when I say his N-word, I don't know what he's talking to.
00:26:41.000 What's up, my truth?
00:26:44.000 Is that a lesbian who took a bunch of testosterone, do you think?
00:26:48.000 This one?
00:26:49.000 Yeah.
00:26:50.000 I can't tell you.
00:26:50.000 Well, not Matt Walsh.
00:26:52.000 Is he trying to grow a scruffy beard?
00:26:54.000 Probably.
00:26:55.000 They always have that wispy beard.
00:26:57.000 I can't tell if that's a super-duper low-T male or a super-duper high-T female.
00:27:02.000 So far, the body shape looks like a man.
00:27:04.000 Yeah.
00:27:05.000 You know, the frame.
00:27:06.000 Padded suit shoulders.
00:27:07.000 Yeah, the body language is a giveaway.
00:27:08.000 Like that fatty they showed before who said that they were lying about the paws.
00:27:13.000 Zero gender studies.
00:27:14.000 Yeah, that's a woman who took... And you can... He sits all weird.
00:27:18.000 That was Chaz Bono.
00:27:19.000 Like a fake macho stance.
00:27:23.000 Right, right.
00:27:26.000 I'm not even talking about social context.
00:27:27.000 I'm just, I'm just trying to start by getting to the truth, you know.
00:27:31.000 Fuck you.
00:27:33.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm really uncomfortable with that language of, like, getting to the truth.
00:27:37.000 Again, in social life... Why is that uncomfortable?
00:27:40.000 Because that, it sounds actually deeply transphobic to me.
00:27:44.000 Truth?
00:27:44.000 And if you keep probing, we're going to stop the interview.
00:27:47.000 Whoa.
00:27:47.000 If I probe about what the truth is?
00:27:49.000 You keep invoking the word truth, which is condescending and rude.
00:27:53.000 I'm saying to you... How is the word truth condescending and rude?
00:27:58.000 Why don't you tell me what your truth is and you're walking on 30 seconds more of Thin Ice before I get up.
00:28:04.000 30 seconds more of Thin Ice.
00:28:05.000 That's a good name of his autobiography.
00:28:08.000 30 seconds more of Thin Ice.
00:28:09.000 Here's my ultimatum.
00:28:11.000 That is awesome.
00:28:12.000 What is going on with my nomenclature tonight?
00:28:15.000 New York, New York, New York.
00:28:18.000 Hello, what are you doing?
00:28:22.000 30 seconds of thin ice.
00:28:23.000 30 seconds.
00:28:24.000 I will not be fucking up any other words for the rest of this show.
00:28:28.000 I'm not Joe Biden.
00:28:32.000 Do you want to click on it?
00:28:33.000 Should we see anything?
00:28:34.000 What's going on?
00:28:34.000 Sure.
00:28:35.000 Did you have to pay for it?
00:28:36.000 You have to be on Daily Wire, right?
00:28:37.000 Yeah.
00:28:40.000 I have to get your wife's account password.
00:28:42.000 No, we're in.
00:28:43.000 I know, I want to watch it later on my own.
00:28:47.000 I wonder if our hackbox... I like to come out here and think.
00:28:49.000 Did you know, Matty, you can call the guy and he'll put movies on?
00:28:52.000 Really?
00:28:53.000 Yeah.
00:28:54.000 There's no guarantees, but I got 2,000 mules.
00:28:54.000 Nice.
00:28:58.000 I couldn't get Freak Scene, the Dinosaur Jr.
00:29:01.000 documentary.
00:29:02.000 Anyway, I'm ruining this movie.
00:29:03.000 What do you got there?
00:29:04.000 But what is truth?
00:29:07.000 Real men don't need vests.
00:29:10.000 You're either cold enough for a jacket or you just wear a shirt.
00:29:16.000 Vests are effeminate because you need to be this perfect temperature.
00:29:19.000 All the men in Westchester wear them.
00:29:23.000 We should write an article about that.
00:29:26.000 My takeaway from what is a woman.
00:29:29.000 Yeah, I should do a movie review of this.
00:29:31.000 It's a thousand words on why wearing a vest is not manly.
00:29:35.000 That is the future of... It's crazy though in Westchester, they all look exactly the same.
00:29:41.000 It's a Patagonia vest with black tubing across it.
00:29:46.000 Then in the winter they have that quarter zipper sweater with a tie underneath and then a blazer on top which must be boiling as shit.
00:29:54.000 Frida Kahlo.
00:29:54.000 Isn't it funny how they're all about dialogue and they keep stopping the interview and taking the laugh off?
00:30:16.000 I'm definitely informed by feminist family therapy and the idea is that we live in gendered worlds where there are certain imperatives that are placed on us about who we are and what we do based on how we've been gendered.
00:30:29.000 These people speak their own language.
00:30:30.000 From the minute I was assigned female, I was told... Imagine you're at a bar and you said, how about this shooting in Ovade, huh?
00:30:41.000 And she was like, well, I think it's important that we establish a dialogue about gun control and the dangers there.
00:30:47.000 Tulsa, yeah.
00:30:49.000 Tulsa was yesterday.
00:30:52.000 What was the shooting today, Maddie?
00:30:55.000 It was either a hospital or a funeral.
00:30:57.000 There was the hospital shooting and then there was a funeral that got shot up, but they were both black guys.
00:31:01.000 So those stories are... So basically it's based on genitalia.
00:31:06.000 So people looking at
00:31:07.000 Is it called a blowjob if you go down on a woman's penis or is that eating out a penis?
00:31:11.000 Is it cunnilingus?
00:31:12.000 Can you give a woman a blowjob?
00:31:30.000 I don't even like the term.
00:31:31.000 I don't want to.
00:31:31.000 I don't even like the term.
00:31:33.000 What is a woman?
00:31:33.000 I hope the answer is no.
00:31:34.000 Yeah.
00:31:36.000 What is a woman?
00:31:37.000 That doesn't mean that this is like who I am as a person.
00:31:41.000 All right, let's stop all this shit.
00:31:45.000 I like to give the freeloaders a taste of Thursday night.
00:31:49.000 So before we kick them off the show and go behind the paywall, how have you been cutting it recently, Ryan, as far as... Whoa!
00:31:56.000 Whoa!
00:31:57.000 As far as the free shit goes.
00:32:00.000 Do you do it strictly at the half-hour mark or do you wait for my goodbye?
00:32:03.000 I wait for the goodbye.
00:32:04.000 Okay.
00:32:05.000 Because there was some controversy there earlier where you were claiming you would just cut it off.
00:32:10.000 Yeah, but we would talk about it like should we just cut them off and you'd be like, yeah, just cut them off at 30.
00:32:14.000 We would always say it.
00:32:17.000 It's all available for free on Censored.TV.
00:32:19.000 So instead of going to BitChute or anything like that, you can watch the free versions on Censored.TV under Free Shit.
00:32:25.000 What's going on with Matty's mic?
00:32:26.000 He just kicked it over.
00:32:28.000 Now he's getting a laugh.
00:32:28.000 He's angry.
00:32:29.000 He just whispered to me that you're pissing him off.
00:32:32.000 Matty, why don't you try going behind the bar?
00:32:34.000 Oh, you wanna show how tall I really am?
00:32:36.000 I think it's a good look.
00:32:48.000 Can I get your order, sir?
00:32:50.000 What do you have?
00:32:51.000 What do you have, fellas?
00:32:52.000 Hopefully not top shelf.
00:32:55.000 We have well... We only have well vodka, well tequila.
00:33:00.000 Yeah, I forgot what I was talking about.
00:33:06.000 I jumped on that as if I'm the tallest guy in the world.
00:33:09.000 At the end of that, I secretly got... Who's taller, Matty or Ryan?
00:33:12.000 I don't know.
00:33:13.000 I say I'm 5'7", but all my doctors and nurses laugh at me and go, no, you're like 5'6 and 3 quarters.
00:33:19.000 I do the same thing, but nobody laughs at me because I don't, I just stay in.
00:33:23.000 I say I'm 5'10 and a half and then my doctors start laughing and I pull down my pants and they see my cock and they go, holy shit.
00:33:32.000 It's got a Bluetooth headset.
00:33:33.000 That is small.
00:33:36.000 We watched Get Off My Lawn live, we thought it was huge.
00:33:39.000 That's not what I heard on the show.
00:33:40.000 It hung like an elevator button.
00:33:42.000 Are you cold, Mr. McInnes?
00:33:44.000 Would you like a parka?
00:33:45.000 They start panicking.
00:33:46.000 Get this guy a warm bath of water, he's freezing to death.
00:33:51.000 Shout out to Jed, by the way, who recognized me at my gym.
00:33:55.000 Yeah, that's not worth interrupting the show, Ryan.
00:33:58.000 That's actually embarrassing and annoying.
00:34:00.000 What the fuck?
00:34:01.000 What a fucking dumb thing to do.
00:34:05.000 Jason Momoa is Sam Hyde now.
00:34:07.000 Did anyone know that?
00:34:08.000 Yes.
00:34:09.000 You knew that?
00:34:10.000 Yeah.
00:34:11.000 That's exciting.
00:34:13.000 I like both those guys.
00:34:14.000 So the fact that they've merged, the same way Vin Diesel did with his director,
00:34:22.000 His nostrils have even flared out like Sam's.
00:34:25.000 Yeah, that is interesting.
00:34:27.000 And maybe there's something about... By the way, there's way too much slack on those overhead lights.
00:34:34.000 Maybe there's something about the thickness of glasses that makes Sam's and Jason's eyes bug out a little bit more than normal?
00:34:40.000 Is that what's happening there?
00:34:43.000 I haven't seen Sam without glasses in many years.
00:34:45.000 Oh, really?
00:34:46.000 Anyway, let's take a couple calls and go through...
00:34:53.000 Um, and make a little love.
00:34:59.000 So we're behind the paywall in... No, no, no.
00:35:02.000 I want to take calls before we go behind the paywall.
00:35:04.000 Okay.
00:35:05.000 And we got a... I thought I made that clear.
00:35:06.000 What's it called?
00:35:07.000 Some super chats I could put up in the meantime, but here's the number for those listening.
00:35:11.000 Let's do the... Thanks for calling.
00:35:15.000 718-400-6959.
00:35:15.000 Yet again.
00:35:16.000 1718-400-6959.
00:35:25.000 You are on the air.
00:35:26.000 I'm here to have a conversation.
00:35:28.000 This is a fucking loser.
00:35:30.000 And you want me to learn, share, listen, understand why.
00:35:33.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?
00:35:35.000 You have one thing.
00:35:36.000 Thank you for calling.
00:35:37.000 It was great hearing from you.
00:35:38.000 Bye bye!
00:35:39.000 Alright, next call.
00:35:40.000 Bye bye!
00:35:44.000 Tomorrow's going to be an incredible show.
00:35:47.000 I haven't done a GOML in a week, right?
00:35:51.000 So I got a week of shit.
00:35:52.000 Because every time I'm on my phone looking at stuff, which is way too often, I send it to myself and it goes into the various categories.
00:35:58.000 My Pet Biden, Antifa, Feminism, LGBT, Racism.
00:36:04.000 And so we have like 68 links to get through it.
00:36:07.000 I thought, oh, I could parse them out and spread it out and bank shows.
00:36:10.000 And then I thought, no, I want to do it all in one big super marathon.
00:36:14.000 And then you can parse through it on your own.
00:36:17.000 The calls are bugging out.
00:36:21.000 I haven't really gone on vacation for a decade because I've been getting my career built up.
00:36:24.000 What?
00:36:26.000 What kind of thing is that to say?
00:36:28.000 You couldn't find three days?
00:36:30.000 Nose to the grindstone.
00:36:31.000 That's how millennials talk.
00:36:33.000 Finally at a point where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor.
00:36:35.000 Got any suggestions on where to go?
00:36:37.000 Buddy Barrett.
00:36:37.000 Costa Rica.
00:36:40.000 Check the weather.
00:36:41.000 I think, you know what, you want to avoid rainy season there, but Costa Rica is fucking fun.
00:36:46.000 And you can do it on the cheap or you can spend tons of money.
00:36:51.000 A friend of mine just went to Belize and said it was cheap as shit and very nice too.
00:36:55.000 I don't like Mexico.
00:36:56.000 Is Belize in Mexico?
00:36:57.000 I don't think so.
00:36:58.000 No, it's it's own country.
00:36:59.000 Well, it's Mexican.
00:37:00.000 Probably started like 1985.
00:37:02.000 Brown white supremacists in the house.
00:37:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:05.000 Don't you think they're pushing hard on turning men into women so there's less resistance to their authoritarian agenda?
00:37:09.000 Maybe.
00:37:10.000 I was also thinking...
00:37:12.000 The biggest assholes in the world, their biggest push is don't have kids, shatter the family, you should get a vasectomy, and recently I've kind of been going, yeah.
00:37:26.000 I mean, I don't want people getting abortions because it's murdering babies, but you fucking losers aren't getting married and you're not having kids?
00:37:32.000 I feel like that means that my grandchildren won't have to deal with your bullshit.
00:37:38.000 You wanna, you wanna fuckin' ethnically cleanse yourselves?
00:37:42.000 Okay.
00:37:43.000 Go ahead.
00:37:45.000 Ideologically cleanse yourselves and the world?
00:37:47.000 You gotta turn your mic on?
00:37:49.000 Uh, oh yeah.
00:37:51.000 So this guy's asking about circumcising his kid.
00:37:53.000 The only thing you have to do is as they get old enough to wash themselves, you tell them to pull back the foreskin.
00:38:03.000 Now you're not going to do it, but I sell it hard to the boys.
00:38:07.000 Like I hope you're pulling that back when you wash.
00:38:10.000 You don't want to get shmegma.
00:38:11.000 No, my buddy Aiden, he never pulled his back.
00:38:14.000 His dad never told him to.
00:38:15.000 So by the time we were living together at 18, he's having a bath and there was like 10 of us in the house.
00:38:23.000 And we didn't care about naked.
00:38:25.000 And I was like, dude, what the fuck's with your dick?
00:38:28.000 It's like, what do you mean?
00:38:29.000 I go, have you ever pulled it back?
00:38:31.000 And he's like, yeah, it hurts when I do.
00:38:33.000 His foreskin had formed like small.
00:38:39.000 So it hadn't formed, and then when he finally pulled it back, it tasted disgusting.
00:38:46.000 I know a guy that had that happen in his like 30s.
00:38:49.000 He had to get circumcised.
00:38:50.000 Oh yeah, yeah, I know a couple of those dudes.
00:38:52.000 He was like strangling his fucking cock head.
00:38:54.000 Well see, that's the problem with modern medicine.
00:38:58.000 All of these doctors are circumcised.
00:39:00.000 Half of them are Muslim.
00:39:01.000 So when they see a Swarovski, they're like, what's this doing here?
00:39:05.000 And they, I was told, I cut mine.
00:39:07.000 Some girl when I was 13 gave me this, or 14, gave me this crazy hand job, and it cut the frenulum, which is this.
00:39:15.000 Underneath the toe.
00:39:17.000 So, but what you do is you take baths, you slowly stretch it, you don't jerk off for six months, and it heals itself.
00:39:24.000 I fixed it.
00:39:26.000 I had a chance to be circumcised.
00:39:27.000 But yeah, it's apparently one of the most painful things imaginable.
00:39:31.000 And then you go, well, it's probably not very fun for a baby.
00:39:36.000 They don't have different nerve endings.
00:39:38.000 You don't think babies have nerve endings?
00:39:39.000 Pinch one.
00:39:40.000 See how they do.
00:39:42.000 See how Zee feels about that.
00:39:44.000 We've got 484 on the line.
00:39:47.000 What's up, 484?
00:39:47.000 Go ahead, call it.
00:39:53.000 Go ahead, buddy.
00:39:56.000 Call her.
00:39:57.000 Call her.
00:39:59.000 484, we're talking to you.
00:40:02.000 Chalo.
00:40:03.000 Chalo, it's a caller.
00:40:06.000 This is Matt.
00:40:07.000 My name's my boy.
00:40:09.000 Hey, man.
00:40:11.000 Yo.
00:40:11.000 What's up, boy?
00:40:12.000 Come on, man!
00:40:15.000 Come on, dawg.
00:40:18.000 So listen, I was calling in to say y'all missed it.
00:40:21.000 That crazy fucking bitch that Matt Walsh was talking to said kiddos.
00:40:27.000 You know, I didn't, I may have missed it then, but I didn't miss it before, and guess what I did?
00:40:34.000 I texted Libs of TikTok chick, and I'm still trying to get her as a friend, it's not going great, but I said, uh, they always say kiddos.
00:40:44.000 It's a red flag.
00:40:46.000 Yes it is.
00:40:47.000 I've never heard a parent here on Earth say kiddos.
00:40:52.000 It's always a weird trans fucking teacher or one of these activist kiddos.
00:40:59.000 It sounds like they're covering up for something.
00:41:01.000 Like, I love them.
00:41:02.000 They're my little kiddos.
00:41:03.000 I'm not trying to fuck them.
00:41:04.000 Part of their grooming process.
00:41:09.000 Yeah.
00:41:09.000 Alright, thanks for calling.
00:41:11.000 Fucking weird.
00:41:12.000 Hey, thanks for calling.
00:41:17.000 That's our line.
00:41:18.000 Alright, now the bad news is that I forgot my Macputer.
00:41:21.000 The good news is that I've been through all the mail thanks to this crazy mess that is Gorilla Mind pre-workout.
00:41:30.000 So, everything is flagged, Ryan.
00:41:34.000 There's about a hundred purple flags in the mailbox.
00:41:37.000 Sweet.
00:41:38.000 The only problem is people have to hear a Puerto Rican try to read.
00:41:41.000 That's okay.
00:41:42.000 Hi, I am calling for this, oh no, this is a letter to you.
00:41:46.000 Dear Gavin, my name is Ryan.
00:41:48.000 I went to Bronx Public School.
00:41:51.000 I read like someone's pointing a gun to my head.
00:41:53.000 I do not.
00:41:56.000 Hey, uh, Whistler, you're on the line.
00:41:58.000 Hey Whistler, what's up there?
00:42:00.000 Hey, what's going on?
00:42:02.000 Hey, ooooh!
00:42:04.000 Ooooooh!
00:42:08.000 What's up?
00:42:08.000 Hey, yo, you guys earlier were talking about, uh, foreskin.
00:42:11.000 You know what they, uh, they call that it's a rabbi chewing gum.
00:42:21.000 Hey, uh, what's up with this whole, um, live show and, uh, getting in for free with this bald eagle tattoo?
00:42:29.000 Is that still a thing?
00:42:31.000 Yes, that is still a thing.
00:42:32.000 It has to be this exact bald eagle tattoo.
00:42:36.000 Yeah.
00:42:37.000 But, and it's the $35 tickets that you get, not the VIP or anything fancy.
00:42:43.000 But yes, if you have this specific, uh, the bird, which is the bald eagle tattoo, you get in for free at the Orlando show.
00:42:50.000 Oh man, I get in free.
00:42:52.000 That's great.
00:42:53.000 So I will be getting in.
00:42:55.000 Maddie, Ryan and I will be getting in free to our own show.
00:42:57.000 That's true.
00:42:58.000 Nice.
00:42:59.000 But yeah, I was reluctant to enforce that because it's the kind of thing you got to talk to, talk to the club owner about blah, blah, blah, but then fuck it.
00:43:09.000 We already committed.
00:43:09.000 Alright, thanks for calling.
00:43:13.000 Stop saying thanks for calling to me.
00:43:15.000 That's my thing.
00:43:17.000 It feels weird.
00:43:18.000 It's like if you're making out with your wife and she like pulls your hair or something.
00:43:22.000 You know we're living in a society...
00:43:25.000 Or you ever have, like, chicks try choking you while she's on top?
00:43:31.000 My T isn't as low as yours, so it never occurs to them.
00:43:35.000 You've had girls try to choke you?
00:43:37.000 Attempt.
00:43:40.000 But I shut it down.
00:43:42.000 Too bad this can't be edited out.
00:43:44.000 You may not want to say that.
00:43:45.000 I don't care.
00:43:46.000 That's live.
00:43:46.000 I'm fine.
00:43:47.000 Choke?
00:43:49.000 Pulling hair is kind of embarrassing.
00:43:51.000 Slapping, I mean, that'd be pretty embarrassing.
00:43:53.000 But choke?
00:43:54.000 What does she do?
00:43:54.000 She goes, you like that, you little whore?
00:43:57.000 No, they didn't say that to me at all.
00:43:59.000 I won't love it, but I'll kiss.
00:44:01.000 Does she smack your ass, too, when she's taking you from behind?
00:44:04.000 Literally not any of that things.
00:44:07.000 Does she hold your ankles like this?
00:44:09.000 No, that's ridiculous.
00:44:12.000 Does she say, call me daddy?
00:44:13.000 No, she doesn't say, wait, no.
00:44:17.000 She doesn't, uh... I did have a girl, like back when I was 18, tie my wrist together, like tie me up.
00:44:23.000 That's worse.
00:44:24.000 And it was just, I just undid the knots and then held them there for a bit to make her feel better.
00:44:30.000 And did you hold up the thing where you're like, I am not doing this.
00:44:34.000 That's exactly what I did.
00:44:35.000 Good memory.
00:44:36.000 Yeah, it was me.
00:44:40.000 You know what a cop sent me a footage of a bachelorette where a woman was dumped by her husband He canceled the wedding when he saw the footage of what the strippers were doing Would be wrong to put that in front of a paywall So as soon as we go behind the paywall, we will be showing you the bachelorette party that ruined a wedding These are the kind of treats you get behind the magic wall, but we're about to go Bye-bye
00:45:06.000 And only the people that pay about a beer and a half to two beers a month, depending where you live.
00:45:11.000 If you're in the South, it's maybe two beers a month.
00:45:15.000 If you're in Manhattan, it's less than a beer a month.
00:45:19.000 And it is more shows than you could possibly handle.
00:45:23.000 I don't think you should watch 100% of what Censored.TV puts out.
00:45:27.000 It's too much.
00:45:28.000 You need a life.
00:45:29.000 You'd be troubled.
00:45:30.000 You literally need to go outside.
00:45:32.000 Look at my getter.
00:45:33.000 I sent you this link about this guy going, is this the biggest challenge I've ever had?
00:45:37.000 Jesus, are you testing me?
00:45:40.000 And Jesus, I'm ruining the joke, but Jesus is like, you literally need to just put your phone down and go outside.
00:45:46.000 Calm down.
00:45:47.000 So if you, uh, you could just go to my getter, Ryan, like I told you.
00:45:51.000 I got it.
00:45:52.000 You can, uh, if you were to watch everything we give you, you will look like that guy on the left.
00:45:59.000 It's too much goodness.
00:46:01.000 So I would say never miss my show.
00:46:02.000 Of course, it's the greatest.
00:46:04.000 AIU, Jim Goad.
00:46:06.000 Dusty Baugen.
00:46:07.000 Dusty Baugen.
00:46:09.000 Don't take it all in or you'll die.
00:46:11.000 We're offering you too much.
00:46:12.000 They say, if you want to destroy a man, give him whatever he wants.
00:46:15.000 Look, Anthony Kumi is on there.
00:46:17.000 We got the singer of the Misfits.
00:46:19.000 Let's not forget Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen.
00:46:20.000 Yeah, of course!
00:46:22.000 Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen, where... What's the most recent episode we put up?
00:46:26.000 Salsa Verde.
00:46:27.000 Salsa Verde.
00:46:28.000 Well, you guys were on your hunger strike.
00:46:30.000 The religious hunger thing, so... I couldn't make the food I wanted to make, but the salsa... I'm sorry.
00:46:37.000 Well, for those of you who trust us, I told you I cheated a million times on that.
00:46:41.000 I didn't eat food, but I drank a lot of beer.
00:46:43.000 Way to show your fucking login.
00:46:45.000 That's alright.
00:46:50.000 When, on that episode, you see Ryan taste the tip of a knife of salsa verde, that is the only thing he ate for seven days.
00:46:58.000 Only solid foods swear on everything.
00:47:00.000 And it was liquid.
00:47:01.000 He swore on his daughter.
00:47:02.000 Liquid.
00:47:03.000 It is a liquid, frankly.
00:47:05.000 Are you considering abortion with your daughter, by the way?
00:47:07.000 No, she's born already, so no, that's... That's irrelevant.
00:47:10.000 That's become irrelevant.
00:47:12.000 My truth doesn't include... If you guys change your mind, you and your wife should sit down with your physician and decide if abortion is right for you.
00:47:20.000 No, she's the most cutest, most baby, and... The woman on the street says it's the woman's choice.
00:47:25.000 Well, remember that, I was thinking about that dude today, the guy who said, I believe 10 years, but that's, I'm a man, it's not up to me.
00:47:32.000 10 years.
00:47:32.000 So, say his universe existed.
00:47:35.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:47:36.000 And there's just body bags of 8-year-olds and 7-year-olds.
00:47:40.000 Call me old-fashioned, that's supposed to be a nightmare.
00:47:43.000 That's supposed to be the most unthinkable horror, is piles of dead children.
00:47:49.000 Not in the left.
00:47:49.000 It's like the school shooting.
00:47:51.000 Dead children.
00:47:52.000 They freak out about the school shooting and then they say you can abort an entire Hispanic nursery school in Ivalde, Mexico.
00:48:00.000 I love that argument that the left says you know we got to protect our children take all the guns away but yet you want to kill born children up into a certain amount after the birth.
00:48:10.000 What?
00:48:12.000 Those aren't children.
00:48:14.000 Those aren't people.
00:48:15.000 It's a fetus.
00:48:16.000 It's a clump of cells.
00:48:18.000 Even at two years old.
00:48:19.000 Even a nine-year-old is just a clump of cells.
00:48:21.000 Matt Wall should do an abortion documentary.
00:48:23.000 What's happening now?
00:48:33.000 Oops.
00:48:34.000 Oh my god, you're really fucking up.
00:48:38.000 If I were you, I'd either kill yourself or get a time machine and erase the part where you said girls choke you, and then erase the part where you showed a video of your email, and then erase the part where you showed a video of you tussling your hair.
00:48:54.000 That was me doing my testosterone test, ironically.
00:48:58.000 And now that happened.
00:49:01.000 Don't you have a money jar for when you play with your hair?
00:49:03.000 That counts.
00:49:04.000 That cannot count.
00:49:05.000 Yes, it counts.
00:49:07.000 It's the same suffering that the viewer has to endure of you playing with your hair.
00:49:11.000 I don't like the way you pronounce endure, but okay.
00:49:14.000 Sorry, endury.
00:49:16.000 The viewer has to endury... How much is in that jar?
00:49:20.000 Two.
00:49:20.000 Can you buy a fucking Maserati yet?
00:49:22.000 No.
00:49:23.000 And it wouldn't be my money that's donated to the National Hair Foundation.
00:49:31.000 But yeah, Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen, the next one coming out.
00:49:33.000 Holy fucking shit.
00:49:35.000 It's fucking awesome.
00:49:37.000 And he reads your messages.
00:49:38.000 So, email Matty.
00:49:39.000 It's mailbaddy at censored.tv, MSLK being the subject.
00:49:45.000 MSLK.
00:49:46.000 Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen, MSLK.
00:49:48.000 Please make sure that's the subject.
00:49:49.000 He has a phrase now.
00:49:51.000 He has a what?
00:49:52.000 Remember?
00:49:53.000 Matty has his own catchphrase now.
00:49:55.000 What is that?
00:49:55.000 Two fingers piecing them out?
00:49:57.000 Nope.
00:49:58.000 It's about seven sentences long.
00:50:01.000 Do you remember it?
00:50:02.000 You're like, keep watching, enjoy the food.
00:50:03.000 You need to keep going and believe in yourself.
00:50:05.000 Never let yourself down and always cook if you can, no matter what the size of your kitchen is.
00:50:11.000 Yes, exactly.
00:50:11.000 That is pretty good.
00:50:14.000 I think it's this.
00:50:15.000 It's a paragraph long post.
00:50:18.000 But, um, next week is whole chicken.
00:50:20.000 No, that's... That was the last week.
00:50:23.000 The following week, yeah.
00:50:24.000 I'm out of order.
00:50:25.000 Here it is.
00:50:28.000 Keep cooking.
00:50:29.000 Keep enjoying.
00:50:30.000 Keep watching.
00:50:31.000 Keep writing in.
00:50:32.000 Keep commenting.
00:50:34.000 I gotta keep a lot of shit.
00:50:37.000 I need a storage unit for all that shit I'm keeping.
00:50:40.000 That is catchy.
00:50:41.000 Get fired, get in trouble.
00:50:42.000 No, step aside.
00:50:44.000 Caught up in the moment.
00:50:45.000 Caught up in the moment.
00:50:48.000 All right.
00:50:48.000 So before we go, we're going.
00:50:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:51.000 Have we read an email yet?
00:50:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:53.000 Yeah.
00:50:53.000 Wait, wait.
00:50:54.000 No, we haven't.
00:50:55.000 I lied.
00:50:56.000 OK.
00:50:56.000 We did not.
00:50:59.000 So let's read an email.
00:51:00.000 Okay.
00:51:00.000 What's the first purple flag?
00:51:02.000 First purple flag.
00:51:03.000 Hey fellas, I'm a subscriber for a few years now.
00:51:06.000 Love what you are doing, Gavman.
00:51:08.000 Ryan, not so much.
00:51:10.000 Just wanted to ask Matty a question.
00:51:11.000 What are the poached scrambled eggs?
00:51:13.000 Do you poach and then scramble?
00:51:15.000 Or do you just scramble then poach?
00:51:17.000 I'm a cook living for a living.
00:51:18.000 I love your show.
00:51:19.000 MSLK is for the next Scottish dish you teach.
00:51:21.000 Have you tried cock-a-leaky pie?
00:51:24.000 Here's a link to the recipe.
00:51:25.000 It's so good, you'll fuck Stacey Abrams for a slice.
00:51:28.000 It's also a simple, shitty little kitchen meal.
00:51:30.000 Love your new sunglasses.
00:51:34.000 Like when I say poached scrambled eggs, it's just they're cooked in a lot of butter.
00:51:39.000 And the culinary term would be they're blonde eggs.
00:51:44.000 But a scrambled egg has been mashed to shit.
00:51:47.000 A poached egg still has the yolk.
00:51:49.000 Yeah, but it's scrambled, but when you put it in the pan, it's like a medium-high heat, and then as soon as the eggs hit the pan, you turn the flame down real low.
00:52:01.000 There's not supposed to be any color on, like, like omelets or scrambled eggs, like, no brown or anything like that.
00:52:07.000 Okay.
00:52:08.000 And there's tons of butter.
00:52:09.000 It looks liquidy like they're runny eggs, but they're not, because it's like poached in butter.
00:52:13.000 But like poached eggs in like water with like vinegar and stuff like that, it's totally different.
00:52:17.000 Oh.
00:52:18.000 Wait, am I fucking up?
00:52:20.000 What are the things that are in the little cups?
00:52:21.000 Is that eggs benedict?
00:52:22.000 That's poached egg.
00:52:23.000 Okay.
00:52:23.000 Right.
00:52:24.000 I'm saying it's like poached in, it's cooked in like a fucked ton of butter.
00:52:29.000 But when the eater gets it, it's in a little cup.
00:52:33.000 No.
00:52:35.000 No little cup.
00:52:36.000 It's not cooked in a little cup?
00:52:37.000 The little cup doesn't participate?
00:52:39.000 But I thought that's what defined a poached egg.
00:52:40.000 A real poached egg is cooked not in a little cup.
00:52:44.000 They usually put it in water with like vinegar.
00:52:47.000 Yeah.
00:52:47.000 Okay, I know less now than I did going into this.
00:52:50.000 You don't put it in that cup because that egg actually gets cooked by steam.
00:52:54.000 What's Eggs Benedict?
00:52:56.000 Eggs Benedict has hollandaise sauce and stuff on it.
00:52:58.000 Hollandaise, yep.
00:52:59.000 So what's that I'm looking at?
00:53:00.000 That's Eggs Benedict?
00:53:01.000 That's a poached, well yeah, it's poached eggs on like a bread with like ham and then a hollandaise sauce on top.
00:53:08.000 Okay.
00:53:08.000 See that's a poached egg right there.
00:53:10.000 A real traditional poached egg in water with vinegar so it keeps its form and stuff.
00:53:17.000 Ryan, look up like a blonde.
00:53:20.000 I want to see Eggs Benedict now.
00:53:22.000 I'm lost.
00:53:22.000 Is it who you're talking about?
00:53:23.000 In a ramekin?
00:53:24.000 No, no, no.
00:53:25.000 Eggs Benedict.
00:53:26.000 It's gonna be... Eggs and ramekin.
00:53:28.000 What the fuck are you doing now?
00:53:31.000 Eggs and ramekin.
00:53:32.000 Now we're going over to Kenoshi, Japan?
00:53:35.000 Eggs in the ramekin.
00:53:36.000 That's Eggs Benedict.
00:53:37.000 Okay.
00:53:38.000 I love Eggs Benedict.
00:53:39.000 What's the difference between a poached egg and a Benedict egg?
00:53:41.000 Well, you use a poached egg, but it's got, it's got like Canadian ham.
00:53:44.000 Oh, it's just the topping.
00:53:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:46.000 English muffin and hollandaise sauce.
00:53:47.000 Okay, okay.
00:53:48.000 We're catching up now.
00:53:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:53:49.000 So now let's get back.
00:53:50.000 The original question is, what is...
00:53:54.000 What was it again?
00:53:54.000 Put like a blonde omelette or poached scrambled egg.
00:53:58.000 A poached scrambled egg.
00:53:59.000 Yeah.
00:53:59.000 Coming up, folks.
00:54:03.000 I don't know if it'll come up on a picture, but... One of these guys?
00:54:06.000 That looks like the dick that lesbians get.
00:54:08.000 Yeah, it does.
00:54:09.000 Go scroll down.
00:54:11.000 You see that one right there?
00:54:12.000 This one?
00:54:13.000 Yeah.
00:54:14.000 With the spaghetti in it?
00:54:16.000 Ah, it's got a shit ton of onions in it.
00:54:18.000 But you see all that brown on the scram- like, on those eggs?
00:54:21.000 That's not supposed to be there.
00:54:22.000 It's supposed to be called blonde.
00:54:23.000 Oh yeah, all this.
00:54:24.000 Right.
00:54:25.000 That's not the way you cook eggs.
00:54:27.000 Okay.
00:54:27.000 Like, okay, over there on the left.
00:54:29.000 See, you got the chives at the bottom left corner?
00:54:31.000 Oh yeah, yeah.
00:54:32.000 Bottom left corner.
00:54:32.000 Bottom left corner.
00:54:34.000 There.
00:54:34.000 Yeah.
00:54:35.000 That's, like, that's called blonde.
00:54:37.000 Yum.
00:54:38.000 Yeah.
00:54:38.000 Oh, that shit looks dope.
00:54:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:40.000 Yeah, I don't like the texture when it gets all brown like that, too.
00:54:42.000 It gets tough.
00:54:43.000 Yeah, it sounds racist.
00:54:44.000 Those aren't really good eggs.
00:54:46.000 Okay, we're going to leave, but before we do, we'd like to thank our other sponsor for today's show, Johnny Apple CBD.
00:54:54.000 They've been with us since day one.
00:54:56.000 All the magic of that evil drug marijuana without the illegal part.
00:55:01.000 You can even get a buzz off the Delta 8s.
00:55:04.000 You got the gummies, help you sleep, give you groovy dreams.
00:55:08.000 You've got the tincture for the coffee.
00:55:11.000 You've got the cartridges for the vape pen.
00:55:15.000 It's amazing the variety at johnnyapple.com.
00:55:19.000 You've got the creams, the topicals.
00:55:21.000 You know, my wife swears by the topicals if she's going out for the night with high-heeled shoes.
00:55:25.000 You put on your feet, your feet don't hurt.
00:55:28.000 JohnnyApple.com.
00:55:29.000 JohnnyAppleCBD.com also works, obviously.
00:55:32.000 The promo code is GAVIN.
00:55:34.000 You get 15% off.
00:55:36.000 God bless these guys for sticking with us through thick and thin since day one.
00:55:42.000 Very impressive, these guys.
00:55:44.000 Whenever you see a sponsor on this show, know they've been through hell.
00:55:47.000 Orlando Weekly couldn't hack it.
00:55:50.000 They couldn't take the heat.
00:55:51.000 JohnnyApple.com has been telling assholes to fuck off since our very first episode.
00:55:57.000 So God bless them, and they're caught.
00:55:59.000 You want to do a fun thing?
00:56:00.000 Here, hold these three.
00:56:01.000 Two of them are not gonna get me blazed, and one of them is.
00:56:06.000 Okay.
00:56:07.000 That's a fun game.
00:56:08.000 I'll get one randomly.
00:56:10.000 Okay.
00:56:17.000 Oh.
00:56:18.000 Oh, this is a bad one.
00:56:19.000 I could feel it because of the tape.
00:56:22.000 That's not cheating.
00:56:27.000 But that's legal what you're doing right now in every country in the world, right?
00:56:30.000 No THC?
00:56:33.000 Smooth.
00:56:34.000 Ninja.
00:56:36.000 By the way, in the future, Ryan, when you give me three things, and one of them has a skull and crossbone on it, know that I'm going to make sure that your hand goes to the skull and crossbone one.
00:56:45.000 You were supposed to shuffle those, though.
00:56:47.000 In the interest of fairness.
00:56:48.000 Yeah.
00:56:50.000 In the interest of fun-ness, I'm obviously going to give you whatever has the Poison logo on it.
00:56:55.000 That is a good point.
00:56:58.000 Anyway, that should give you a reasonable taste of what Thursday nights are like here at GOML.
00:57:04.000 It's not really what the typical shows are like.
00:57:06.000 Typical shows, much more formal.
00:57:08.000 I've got a suit on.
00:57:09.000 We do green screens.
00:57:11.000 We do segments.
00:57:12.000 The show is very well organized.
00:57:14.000 It's like Tucker Carlson meets Opie and Anthony meets Howard Stern, but much ruder.
00:57:22.000 I think that's an accurate assessment.
00:57:23.000 So until we see you freeloaders next week,
00:57:27.000 Here comes the saying, and to all you guys we'll see tomorrow, here comes the saying.
00:57:33.000 Keep watching, keep writing in comments, keep eating, keep doing what you do, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:57:47.000 And I don't go to parties where folks get dressed up.
00:57:51.000 I go to the function just to fuck shit up.
00:57:55.000 I want you baby, that ain't juice in my cup.
00:57:58.000 It's Domethazine and a little 7-Up.
00:58:04.000 I tried to warn you that I'm bad and I'm loose.
00:58:07.000 I'm looser than a piece of...