GOML LIVE #159
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 6 minutes
Words per Minute
153.34999
Hate Speech Sentences
100
Summary
Jack and Jack are back with a new guest, Ryan Katsu Rivera, a man who is wearing a bulletproof vest and nothing else. Also, we have a new sponsor, Silk City Hot Sauce, a spicy hot sauce that encapsulates everything about the show in a hot sauce.
Transcript
00:00:15.000
With a purposeful primace and a terrible sound, He pulls the spinning high tension wires down.
00:00:36.000
He picks up a muscle and he throws it back down.
00:00:39.000
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town.
00:02:54.000
History shows again and again how nature points up the polyoffer.
00:03:18.000
How nature points up the valley of men Godzilla.
00:03:28.000
How nature points up the valley of men Godzilla.
00:04:28.000
Is it any wonder that my mind's on life in prison by the blood of what to do?
00:04:39.000
Is it any wonder that my jokes are lie and the joke's on you?
00:07:16.000
I think that guy died of Coke, which is pretty fucking rare.
00:07:23.000
I've probably done enough to kill eight horses in my lifetime.
00:07:38.000
We also have Ryan Katsu Rivera, a man who is wearing a bulletproof vest and nothing else.
00:08:03.000
I think that's a politically correct way to refer to you, Ryan.
00:08:14.000
And he can feed himself, and he washes his balls and stuff.
00:08:22.000
You know what clip you're going to take from Whitney and I?
00:08:32.000
And every time I'm being a pussy, in my own head, I'll just be like, you need working on, boy.
00:08:47.000
Now, I'm reading a script here, so it's not going to sound like me.
00:08:54.000
It is a hot sauce called the G Sauce, and it is a spicy sauce that encapsulates everything about the show, but in a hot sauce.
00:09:04.000
And if you have hot sauce in your cupboard, wouldn't it be cool to have a little Gav sauce?
00:09:18.000
There are only 500 bottles, so grab yours quick.
00:09:25.000
And it's a signature hot sauce of GML, obviously.
00:09:30.000
It's funny, that picture, I was trying to be incognito at a Project Veritas event.
00:09:40.000
And then someone took a picture of me, and I guess that's become my photograph.
00:09:43.000
So that becomes a, I ended up achieving the opposite of what I wanted to achieve.
00:09:48.000
Featuring a blend of smoked merita and habanero peppers, fresh melons, garlic, scallion, and sweet roasted red peppers.
00:09:58.000
It is a solid medium heat, slightly sweet and smoky sauce, perfect for eggs, chicken, steak, and breakfast tacos.
00:10:11.000
We'll have to try it in Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen.
00:10:15.000
What's the next Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen?
00:10:17.000
I did a London broil, baked potato, and Brussels sprouts with honey balsamic glaze.
00:10:27.000
But you did have a little bit of a kick to the meatloaf.
00:10:34.000
The G sauce is available at silkcityhotsauce.com.
00:10:49.000
SilkCityHotSauce.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off your order.
00:10:54.000
That's a weird cum joke when you're selling food.
00:10:58.000
We currently have a Christmas sauce being developed with Silk City Hot Sauce.
00:11:03.000
SilkCityHotSauce.com, promo code GAVIN 15% off.
00:11:21.000
And even this one's a little small, but it's deeper, so.
00:11:56.000
Let me see if I can get the original file out so I can scrub it.
00:12:20.000
No, we took about an inch or two off the whole top of the camera.
00:12:34.000
I think my boxing skills are going to go because I get hit and then I duck out.
00:12:45.000
Because Pyrex dissipates the heat, so the whole dish gets hot.
00:12:51.000
That's why it exploded, like, not just one little section, and it was like a big plate left over.
00:13:00.000
Well, you know, back in the day, that's what they used to cook cracking.
00:13:17.000
Yeah, of course it's the brand name, but what makes it special?
00:13:29.000
A line of clear, low thermal expansion borosilicate glass used for laboratory glassware at kitchenware.
00:13:42.000
Well, I know how they came across Post-it notes.
00:13:44.000
They were trying to make the most intense industrial glue they could find, and they ended up making pussy glue.
00:13:50.000
And they're like, actually, this could be good if you just want to stick it on a thing and take it off and leave no mark.
00:13:58.000
Which is what I said the day after I lost my virginity.
00:14:26.000
We read whatever you, we read most of them, but we 100% guarantee we'll read the things that are over 100 bucks.
00:14:32.000
And the fun thing about the super chat is 100% of that money, I will not touch a dime, goes to Max and John.
00:14:44.000
I've been giving them money for, remember the doodles we did for a while?
00:14:48.000
They got all that money, but I want to give them like a big bag of cash when they get out of jail.
00:14:54.000
And I don't, I have no idea what we're up to with these super chats.
00:15:15.000
How much have we raised with the Sioux per chat?
00:15:20.000
Would you rather be blind or paraplegic for $100 Bryce?
00:15:24.000
Bryce is the guy offering a job to John when he gets out, by the way.
00:15:29.000
He's that welder up in Rhode Island or New England or whatever.
00:15:40.000
I had a cellmate that was when I was in the infirmary.
00:15:46.000
He broke his back like mid-back, and it was fucking...
00:15:53.000
A blind guy can get a blowjob, and it's awesome.
00:16:00.000
Tomorrow's episode is all about hot chicks on the right.
00:16:07.000
Well, the other good thing about being blind now is you've seen shit.
00:16:11.000
So, like, say you were to meet a girl and you're single.
00:16:32.000
Well, yeah, but I'm talking about looks and stuff.
00:16:34.000
So now when you're fucking her, you can imagine pretty well what she looks like.
00:16:46.000
And, you know, a blind guy, I'm a firm believer in a man's facility, a man's ability to command things.
00:17:13.000
But the guy I had looking at our house in Costa Rica, the sort of house sitter, he was like, I live in a prison, a tropical prison.
00:17:23.000
But now that I'm older, I realize what he was saying.
00:17:25.000
Like, he couldn't go to his mother's funeral in Chicago.
00:17:34.000
If he got pulled over for drunk driving, he was completely fucked up the ass.
00:17:40.000
So he always had that sort of Damocles over his head, and that's not what men like.
00:17:44.000
I'm sure women don't love it either, but I feel like with men, there's more pain there.
00:17:48.000
So, I mean, I've been blind for over a minute now, and it's not great.
00:18:03.000
My pronouns are they, them, and I'm wearing a blue dress.
00:18:13.000
I'm wearing an ironic t-shirt that talks about queefs, but a common sort of 80s monster truck thing that culture was like, I don't break for faggots or something.
00:18:24.000
But in this iteration of it, we're talking about queefs, and we're referring to if you're having sex with a woman and she was to go out her pussy, would you stop and be like, oh no, what the hell was that?
00:18:40.000
And we're of the ilk where you wouldn't even acknowledge it.
00:19:02.000
I guess you don't know the hot rod sort of genre of cartooning.
00:19:16.000
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
00:19:35.000
My dad used to work at a hotel in Scotland, and everyone would fight to take the day off when a blind group was coming.
00:19:44.000
They're always complaining, they're always mad at the world, which I get.
00:19:47.000
I'd be pretty pissed off too if God denied me eyeballs.
00:19:56.000
We'd like to thank Fop Metals for supporting the show.
00:20:00.000
This show is free because of sponsors like Fop Metals, who have been here since day one.
00:20:05.000
The government isn't sure if we're in a recession or not.
00:20:10.000
They keep changing the definition of recession.
00:20:13.000
It's clear things are going real bad because we gave everyone a ton of money, like an idiocracy.
00:20:20.000
Remember when George Orwell's 1984 and Mike Judge's Idiocracy were interesting works of fiction that have no bearing on reality?
00:20:32.000
Those are both documentaries now, and we are in them.
00:20:36.000
We gave everyone thousands of dollars not to go to work, and then we had a problem finding people to work, believe it or not.
00:20:45.000
We just kept printing it and printing it, and believe it or not, the dollar went down in value.
00:20:49.000
The left's justification for all this is, yeah, but it's bad in Europe too.
00:21:04.000
So I believe it makes sense to allot at least some of your savings to precious metals.
00:21:14.000
But allot some of your money to FOPMetals.com, P-H-A-U-P, not F-O-P, P-H-A-U-P-Metals.com, promo code GAVIN.
00:21:28.000
It's really unlimited how much you can spend on silver and gold and these precious metals.
00:21:34.000
But I think you would be remiss not to at least impart some of your savings to precious metals in these times of economic uncertainty.
00:21:48.000
So tomorrow we're devoting most of the show to Hot Chicks on the Right.
00:21:56.000
It's pre-taped because I'm going to be out of town.
00:22:23.000
God must want us to mix if he's doing shit like that.
00:22:31.000
It's funny when you're trying to remember an...
00:22:49.000
Wait, is it that chick, the MMA fighter that was in Mandalorian?
00:23:20.000
Yeah, Gina Carano got fired from Disney and all that.
00:23:27.000
She said, the way you're treating conservatives is not unlike the way they treated Jews during World War II.
00:23:39.000
It's becoming a deal breaker for me, by the way.
00:23:41.000
Anyone who uses a Hitler analogy, I'm just like, I gotta go.
00:23:46.000
Another deal breaker is you're gonna get raped in prison.
00:23:52.000
And when I say deal breaker, I mean, I don't want to talk to that person anymore.
00:24:04.000
Female boxing is actually, as far as female sports go, it's one of the better female sports.
00:24:14.000
We have a big fight this weekend, tomorrow, Saturday.
00:24:17.000
Yeah, I'm a little uncomfortable seeing a woman have her head kicked in, especially when it's someone like, what's her name, Fox, the tranny?
00:24:30.000
And I assume they're both lesbians whenever I see it go down.
00:24:38.000
The way female basketball and female soccer is terrible.
00:24:54.000
I would not, if I was fighting these girls, I would not have my hands up.
00:25:00.000
I guess the battle is waiting for the other chick to get tired and then hopefully don't throw too tired of a punch.
00:25:08.000
I guess with female boxing, it's about getting as many.
00:25:20.000
Is the headgear just to keep their hair in place?
00:25:24.000
I don't know if it's mandatory in the Golden Gloves, but most people wear headgear.
00:25:32.000
By the way, it turns out we got some intel from a baby monster of sorts, a very elite baby monster, that Pyrex isn't thermal shock proof anymore, and here's what you need to know.
00:25:43.000
If you've been a long-term user of Pyrex, you deserve to know that the company changed the quality of its glass years ago, which caused it to be less resilient than we thought.
00:25:52.000
The brand has been a kitchenware staple for over 100 years with its glass cookware, measuring cups, and more that could withstand temperature changes.
00:26:00.000
But in 1998, the Pyrex brand changed the type of glass used for its U.S. I Can't See products.
00:26:09.000
The brand first used brosilicate glass, which could withstand thermal shock, i.e., the glass wouldn't shatter due to strong temperature changes.
00:26:19.000
The new glass was soda lime glass, which is strong, but it hasn't stopped people's Pyrex glass products from breaking from time to time.
00:26:28.000
Cooking Late also calls out the fact that if you have vintage Pyrex glassware that's over 20 years old, it's a hot commodity.
00:26:36.000
That old casserole dish is sufficiently heat resistant and thermal shockproof and will withstand even the most extreme temperature changes since it's of the original glass.
00:26:48.000
That's sort of like my, I told you about my dishwasher downstairs at Gas Staff.
00:26:56.000
And it comes out looking like it's a brand new glass I got from a glass shop.
00:27:01.000
My super expensive brand new dishwasher upstairs, dude, I was typing it in the other day.
00:27:14.000
Can you imagine how much glassware you could wash in three fucking hours?
00:27:24.000
I do most of my, I mean, in my house, I do everything by hand.
00:27:33.000
Like a crazy Thanksgiving dinner would be back before we had dishwashers, I remember it.
00:28:08.000
It takes away the coolness of the armor, I believe.
00:28:19.000
They don't make them like they used to anymore, folks.
00:28:39.000
Remember we used to make fun of African politicians?
00:29:16.000
Companies hide rising costs by shrinking the size of everyday products.
00:29:25.000
But Walmart great value paper towels went from 168 sheets to only 120.
00:29:36.000
Why did you hijack the show to talk about the size of a Hershey's Kiss?
00:29:45.000
Yeah, you don't have permission to hijack the show with your boring consumer reports.
00:30:00.000
And by the way, I saw you on Maddie's show call peas corn.
00:30:16.000
If the corn that you're eating is green and perfectly spherical, it's a pea.
00:30:23.000
If it's yellow and it burns your tongue, it's urine.
00:30:29.000
Now I'm going to take a really particularly juicy piece, mix it with the taters, a little bit of corn.
00:30:44.000
Who looks at peas and goes, a little bit of corn?
00:31:12.000
And then, as Larry Barnes would say, and versa vice.
00:31:16.000
Look up on YouTube Jacob Zuma each time when I come here.
00:31:31.000
Well, if they ask not to get credit, maybe don't give him credit.
00:31:42.000
He used to be in DMS, and he was a member of my charter, actually.
00:31:59.000
And I spoke to him actually about two or three days ago.
00:32:20.000
Now, I noticed you're very diplomatic and careful when the club, the motorcycle club, comes up.
00:32:40.000
I mean, he's still, he's selling his t-shirt collection of hardcore t-shirts.
00:32:47.000
But yeah, his name, I mean, I don't want to say his last name, but his first name is Kevin.
00:32:51.000
He's married, got two kids, lives in South Carolina.
00:32:56.000
What kind of motives you like to hook up with him when he moved out?
00:33:00.000
Been to state prison in New York and all that good stuff.
00:33:22.000
But his nickname that everyone knows him in the street is called Breeze.
00:33:29.000
I thought it was Febreeze because he's always so clean.
00:33:51.000
Because you have the dimensions of a baby and a very short fuse.
00:33:56.000
I have like short stack, itty bitty, little angry guy, head and shoulders, Maddie No Neck.
00:34:11.000
Maybe I ran a blowtorch up someone's feet or inside of their face.
00:34:33.000
I want to say to people on the West Coast, we're not doing the West Coast for a long, fucking time.
00:34:39.000
So if you're in L.A., San Francisco, anywhere that's remotely near Las Vegas, I would highly recommend you come to the Las Vegas show.
00:34:51.000
And then we're going to be out partying with you.
00:34:57.000
Blackjack, we're going to be painting the town red the whole night of September 10th.
00:35:07.000
So West Coasters, we will make it down to California, Orange County at some point in 2023.
00:35:15.000
But as far as getting on the Cognitive Dissonance Tour, this is your opportunity.
00:35:20.000
And Ryan has put together a pretty impressive update on our previous sizzle reel that I'd like to show you.
00:35:59.000
I watched that and I said, this shit's too much harder to fuck you to do it.
00:36:02.000
They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around.
00:36:07.000
This is the part of Seth that's going to get real mean before I leave.
00:36:17.000
You can they think we want to tell those kind of jokes.
00:36:34.000
All right, let's advertise our last sponsor, which is Johnny Apple CBD.
00:36:43.000
Fantastic sponsor, selling us hemp products without the THC, without the illegal parts.
00:36:50.000
You've got your tincture taking the edge out of your coffee.
00:36:54.000
You've got your topicals helping your aching bones.
00:36:58.000
Ladies, if you're wearing high-heel shoes, put those on.
00:37:02.000
You've got the gummies that make you sleep through the night and have fucking amazing dreams.
00:37:08.000
Like, you should probably bring some popcorn to bed so you can sit there and watch the incredible trilogy of adventure and science fiction that goes on in your brain when you take a gummy before going to bed.
00:37:21.000
There's also the, I've never tried this, but Ryan's a huge enthusiast of the vapes.
00:37:30.000
And, you know, this one has a score and crossbones on it.
00:37:38.000
And trust me, after these boxing workouts, you could use a little bit of poof.
00:37:44.000
Wait, after you work out boxing, you smoke a really potent non-THC hemp vape from johnnyapple.com.
00:37:55.000
And it calms down your muscles and it chills you up.
00:37:59.000
Okay, so you're not watching this show for scientific facts.
00:38:04.000
You're watching the show for opinions and experience.
00:38:07.000
And apparently this guy thinks that smoking Johnny Apple calms down his muscles.
00:38:14.000
But if you go to johnnyapple.com, use promo code Gavin, you will get a 15% discount, like with all our sponsors.
00:38:23.000
And my pitch with this is, if you're a CBD guy, why get CBD from someone who doesn't support free speech?
00:38:30.000
What if you're buying CBD from someone who thinks Biden is really good at speaking English?
00:38:39.000
Why are you pouring money into asshole retard culture?
00:38:43.000
Why not pour money into someone who supported free speech since day one?
00:38:47.000
I'm not saying they're political, but they are against political correctness.
00:38:53.000
And they're clearly supporting something that could get them in trouble, and they don't give a shit.
00:38:58.000
They happily support This show, and we appreciate them for it.
00:39:02.000
Much like Nita Fashions, who has also been there since day one.
00:39:09.000
And folks at home, please support johnnyapple.com.
00:39:26.000
And then that gives us permission to harness all three avenues of input, which is super chats, the mailbag, and the calls.
00:39:40.000
There's probably another one I'm not even thinking.
00:40:05.000
Let's put in Maddie because a lot of people will send us messages on like Friday.
00:40:13.000
And by the time Thursday rolls around, the Maddie message is long gong.
00:40:31.000
My problem with Philly cheesesteak is I hate American cheese.
00:40:41.000
Because when you get it in Philly, it's the movie theater cheese, that fucking orange garbage.
00:40:55.000
American cheese, yellow and white, are like molecules away from plastic.
00:41:02.000
I'm never buying popcorn in a movie theater ever.
00:41:04.000
When I do Philly cheesesteaks, I use propalone.
00:41:17.000
I think they're completely artificial, like 100%.
00:41:24.000
Like, I use, like, the cherries I use in drinks, like Manhattan's or old-fashions and stuff, are Luxador.
00:41:32.000
What do you mean when you use at your home bar?
00:41:36.000
Well, you know, I've been known to make a Manhattan.
00:41:50.000
I don't keep any beer or alcohol actually in there.
00:41:53.000
I actually have some homemade rum that was brought up from the South.
00:42:03.000
It's clear, but it's actually rum made from molasses and stuff.
00:42:14.000
So wait, are those cherries, real cherries from real life?
00:42:18.000
After the cherries are pitted, they're placed in large bags where they receive their coveted color and flavor.
00:42:55.000
That's like $20 a jar for that little chocolate.
00:43:07.000
Am I the only guy that gets horny when you say split pea soup with ham hocks in it?
00:43:18.000
Okay, this guy is getting way too much attention for such a shitty email.
00:43:23.000
And questions/slash requests for both Maddie and Ryan.
00:44:15.000
That's the first spit take on the show, I believe.
00:44:30.000
This is for Maddie as well as Boss Man and Horseshack.
00:44:40.000
Could it be why I chose a shitty musician husband from a lady and a few wasted years after with the same type?
00:44:48.000
Or is he the sexiest badass motherfucker who can sing his ass off?
00:45:13.000
Well, no, Buck Cherry, their first major single was I Love the Cocaine.
00:45:19.000
Does that have anything to do with Hell's Angels?
00:45:30.000
Yeah, I thought it was like a Hell's Angels band.
00:45:47.000
Yeah, but I mean, this all goes, hey, reading non-screen letters that are fucking garbage.
00:46:02.000
We want to give a shout out to all the bands here today, tonight.
00:46:29.000
He looks like the default singer and guitar hero.
00:46:45.000
This is the song that like his retarded tattoos.
00:47:30.000
I hate the short order cook who made their fucking carrots.
00:47:46.000
Finally, you say something that's not retarded.
00:47:52.000
I mean, the Dragon introduced a song out for like hours.
00:48:19.000
Like, I honestly prefer drag queens and trannies.
00:48:24.000
But a man being a sexy guy and fucking singing about sex is fucking gross.
00:49:02.000
The doors used to do shit just like this, but it's just, it was good because the doors are.
00:49:35.000
This is the joke at the end of that Jack Black movie, Chillo, it's a bass, School of Rock, where they lose to the sexy band.
00:49:43.000
It's been well established that male sexy singers...
00:49:47.000
He had a shirt that was like leather sleeves and then the front of it didn't exist?
00:49:57.000
But it's the band at the end of School of Rock that they lose to.
00:50:04.000
All right, let's, while you find that, because it's worth checking out, we should start taking calls.
00:50:27.000
Especially in the summer when they make you a nice linen suit or a light blue, thin suit where you can go to work.
00:50:57.000
If you want to say the painting, maybe you just banned me.
00:51:15.000
Google Image School of Rock competition winners.
00:51:25.000
No, if we do the interstitial for thanks for calling, does that change the background?
00:51:52.000
It's weird to walk down the street and have people recognize you.
00:52:00.000
They get drunk with power, they get high with drugs, and their lives are destroyed.
00:52:05.000
Every kid involved in that movie is an absolute fucking mess.
00:52:09.000
Don't get your kids into Hollywood, don't get them into movies.
00:52:15.000
I got the full movie here, and it's going to go bad for you if I find it.
00:52:19.000
Did they play after Jack Black's band or before?
00:52:46.000
And I have tons of pictures of the band No Vacancy.
00:52:59.000
I got the pictures, and now we'll get the video.
00:53:09.000
This guy's been doing this job for so long and he's inept.
00:53:13.000
So it's the guitarist of No Vacancy that I was talking about.
00:53:18.000
But you have no internet because you haven't ironed out that yet.
00:53:50.000
Then I find them and then I text them to you on your phone while I'm also talking and entertaining people.
00:54:18.000
That's the guy I was talking about in the background.
00:54:25.000
As he's undulating in the background with his bass-string seahorse.
00:55:11.000
He's about to become a drug addict because he got too famous.
00:55:15.000
Let's do one call and then get behind the paywall.
00:55:18.000
Well, we'll have to thank people for calling, you know.
00:55:49.000
There's a bar I've been frequenting called Hellgate on the park in Astoria Queens.
00:55:57.000
There's a group of bikers that are always there.
00:56:00.000
I can't tell if these guys are old guys with Harleys or if they are indeed guys I should be careful around.
00:56:05.000
I like hanging out there because it's a Trump bar and they seem to like me, but my mouth has gotten me into trouble before with them.
00:56:14.000
I realized I'm a soft-handed faggot with good intentions, so they gave me a pass.
00:56:25.000
You got regular guys that hang out with the major clubs.
00:56:36.000
Tim Poole just stopped his live stream with Ariel Pink and Alex Lee Moyer after 10 minutes.
00:56:42.000
Ariel was talking about how cancellation doesn't work and the government will have to start killing people.
00:57:06.000
I've already watched the entire clip, by the way.
00:57:16.000
No, I'm saying, like, canceling is not the answer.
00:57:20.000
You really need to allow people to communicate.
00:57:25.000
I think their prison reform is so important that people have access to the outside world still and are able to communicate with their families.
00:57:38.000
There's two states in the United States that allow people to fight.
00:57:40.000
Force people underground and expect them not to go crazy.
00:58:01.000
All right, let's take a call and then say goodbye.
00:58:32.000
Yeah, why don't you just talk on the phone normal?
00:58:58.000
Yeah, I saw this thing earlier today, and I wondered to get your opinion on this.
00:59:03.000
How weak and pandering they are with this Britney Granger chick.
00:59:09.000
You know, they're negotiating a deal with some Russian orange dealers for her and someone else.
00:59:18.000
You know, it's just because she's a lesbian black female.
00:59:23.000
Like, you know, that's like their target audience.
00:59:28.000
The guy they are negotiating with, the guy that they are willing to set free is basically a Batman villain.
00:59:35.000
You could not get worse than this fucking dude.
00:59:50.000
He's one of our biggest catches as far as international terrorism goes.
00:59:56.000
And we're like, we really don't want this vape pen chick to have a bad month.
01:00:02.000
The number 25,000 is in my head for some reason.
01:00:15.000
Because even I was in the shoe at the same time in MCC, different from MDC.
01:00:34.000
And then you had where the terrorists and all the international people were on 10.
01:00:45.000
And they kept all the super international criminals up there.
01:01:05.000
You don't trade Victor Boot for a basketball player.
01:01:10.000
Like, if we were pressball, you don't negotiate with that.
01:01:12.000
If we were doing, like, fantasy football, but it was fantasy prisoner exchange, that would be, you'd lose the game.
01:01:20.000
This may overlap with tomorrow's episode because tomorrow's pre-recorded.
01:01:24.000
All right, we should get behind the paywall now.
01:01:25.000
We've given these people way too much free content.
01:01:28.000
So we are officially closing the free portion of the show.
01:01:32.000
We're going to continue to read super chats, talk to people, and read emails.
01:01:38.000
Thursday is getting in touch with the people day.
01:03:25.000
MDC is Metropolitan Detention Center, which is in Brooklyn, Sunnyside.
01:03:32.000
And MCC is Metropolitan Correctional Center, which is on 150 Park Road, Manhattan.
01:03:47.000
And the pirate that took over the, one of the pirates that didn't get killed when they took over the Mersk, Alaska.
01:04:00.000
Well, I don't know if it was at that exact time.
01:04:04.000
One of the survivors were flown to New York and held in federal court.
01:04:10.000
When I went in 2010 to MCC to finish up my full term, I had to go do all my time because I was violating supervised release.
01:04:21.000
Victor Boot came in then, well, he's free to go now because someone wanted to smoke pot in Russia.
01:04:33.000
And if you recall, folks at home, we warned about this.
01:04:36.000
We said, we want her freed because she's an American, but we don't want to play Victor Boot.
01:04:49.000
It was our best get since the fucking Rosenbergs who got the electric chair for being fucking spies.
01:05:04.000
And I don't really care about the actual individual.
01:05:11.000
Like, I was talking to some dude who was on vacation recently with Secret Service guys, and he was asking him, What's going on with the Secret Service?
01:05:28.000
And the guy goes, the fucking Russians are insane.
01:05:32.000
Like, you go to shoot them, they catch the bullet in the air, and they whip it at your head, and you die.
01:05:44.000
Please do a better job with Maddie's microphone.
01:05:53.000
It's better if you really eat the mic, so that way we don't get to eat the mic.
01:06:04.000
Calling Victor Bout a terrorist is fucking bullshit.
01:06:10.000
It's not his fault that the people he sold them to did bad things.
01:06:13.000
Should gun manufacturers be called terrorists too?
01:06:27.000
I added the Tony Stark thing into the letter, by the way.
01:06:33.000
I used to, I had all my books at the old studio, so I would just pull one off the shelf and then talk about it.
01:06:40.000
Now they're at my home, and I don't feel like bringing a book in every day.
01:06:47.000
Cleanse the palette with the darkest red by the agony scene after this crap.
01:07:01.000
It's going to be a huge bummer that we're all going to hate.
01:07:29.000
I got to stop taking the Lord's name in vain, but you guys really test my patience.
01:08:03.000
Well, I got herpes and they told me to take the HPV vaccine.
01:08:13.000
I guess they're saying you're sexually promiscuous, so you're going to get venereal warts, so you might as well take the venerea warts vaccine because you're a slut.
01:08:23.000
I think the HPV vaccine was taken off because they were giving it to kids between like 14 and 18, that little window slot.
01:08:35.000
I had venereal awards a million times, and I have herpes.
01:08:39.000
The problem with herpes is something you would talk about.
01:08:43.000
I wanted to hear if you had any stories about it, any tips and tricks about outbreaks, anything.
01:08:48.000
The worst part of all SCDs is they hurt your ears because you get angry phone calls from girls screaming their fucking heads off.
01:09:04.000
But, you know, when you're stressed out, you'll get them on your lip and stuff.
01:09:08.000
And it used to be like genital herpes and oral herpes.
01:09:14.000
So when your parents are in town, you're going to get oral herpes on the outskirts of your lip because you're stressed out.
01:09:20.000
And as far as your genitalia goes, well, the first outbreak fucking sucks and hurts like shit.
01:09:29.000
And then you get another outbreak in six months.
01:09:31.000
And then you get another outbreak in two years.
01:09:33.000
And then you get another outbreak in six years.
01:09:36.000
And then it's like every seven lifetimes you get an outbreak.
01:09:41.000
Yeah, but HPV for men is not that big of a deal.
01:09:46.000
When I was a young swinger, they would blast it with liquid nitrogen.
01:09:50.000
When women get it, it's the leading cause of cervical cancer.
01:09:57.000
I know you might die from throat cancer from it.
01:10:06.000
I knew a guy who actually had gotten throat cancer from HPV.
01:10:33.000
That are descriptive or precise, of course, are horrifying to people who want to control your brain because they give you too much information about what things really are.
01:10:45.000
But as long as they're going to change the name, we should have some role in naming it.
01:10:50.000
It shouldn't be left up to Tony Fauci and Deborah Burks.
01:11:32.000
Did you expect him to say schlong COVID at all?
01:11:36.000
No, but the beauty of it is it's perfectly viable as far as censorship goes.
01:12:08.000
How does anybody hate people who are Tucker or Trump?
01:12:13.000
When I was talking to that bartender at Grand Central, and we're bitching about the state of the Union, and he just goes, and he had no idea that I've ever met Tucker.
01:12:22.000
And he goes, can you believe how fucked we'd be without Tucker?
01:12:31.000
He's the guy saying the British are coming, basically.
01:12:35.000
The guitarist from No Vacancy is now a district attorney in Texas.
01:12:56.000
Like, Henry Rollins, Black Flag, those guys practiced eight hours a day, six days a week.
01:13:04.000
When I was in a hardcore cover band, we tried to cover Black Flag and Bad Brains.
01:13:11.000
Like Cro-Megs, with all due respect, Cro-Megs and what's the other big New York band that we used to do?
01:13:27.000
And for some reason, circle jerks are in the same category and they're fucking retard rock.
01:13:33.000
They only have one good song, which is, what's it called?
01:13:43.000
And Keith Morris is just a weird loser nerd who has just kept riding this hardcore thing.
01:14:04.000
Now it's people spending hundreds of thousands of dollars making him look cool.
01:14:15.000
He's sitting there with one tab of acid in a bag.
01:14:47.000
Miguel here, and since today you were talking about LA or Hollywood and Mexican food.
01:14:54.000
I'm a Mexican-American in LA that loves Mexican food.
01:15:09.000
About 30% of my pisses and shits hurt my orifices because I eat so many jalapenos.
01:15:23.000
Well, this morning I didn't have a care burrito, so thanks for calling.
01:15:33.000
They're like in a corn husk and they're made of like a corn husk.
01:15:45.000
That's like, did a bird eat that and then barf it into your mouth?
01:15:53.000
You can ride your bicycle and eat a cheeseburger.
01:16:13.000
Why am I putting my food in some weird corn thing?
01:16:21.000
It's made, like you said, with smashed plantains.
01:16:33.000
When you go to Israel, they're like, oh my God, where do you have the food?
01:16:38.000
And you're like, the red dip is just minced tomatoes.
01:16:44.000
This is in the entire Middle East, too, not just Israel.
01:16:53.000
And you grab this thing and you dip it in that thing and then you scoop up this thing.
01:16:59.000
Like Maddie's shitty little kitchen destroys the entire Middle East.
01:17:11.000
The smashed potatoes, the meatloaf, the corn, according to Puerto Ricans.
01:17:28.000
It's a half-folded piece of fucking pita bread with a pile of shit in it.
01:17:40.000
A burrito, yeah, you could argue a burrito is a pretty good design.
01:18:06.000
I'd rather watch gay porn than hear about a Puerto Rican tamale.
01:18:23.000
Hey, so my younger brother is 22 years old and getting married.
01:18:27.000
He's a listener of yours and definitely was inspired by that get married young idea.
01:18:37.000
So how do I plan the best bachelor party I can for this guy?
01:18:47.000
If they want strippers and shit, then I would just recommend going very mainstream with it and like finding, like when I planned a bachelor party for a New Yorker who wanted strippers and everything, I went to the Village Voice, I went to the back page,
01:19:07.000
And it was good that I didn't go through a friend to a friend.
01:19:10.000
I just did a very generic Costco kind of setup.
01:19:24.000
And for a moment there, all the guys were by them like this.
01:19:30.000
And they're like, no, no, no, no, no videos, no videos.
01:19:37.000
And the limousine company obviously was in cahoots with the various bars we visited, which is fine.
01:19:45.000
So it was like strippers in the limousine bar, strippers.
01:19:49.000
And that's because I called a very well-established company that has done this a million times.
01:19:54.000
However, my personal experience has been men are shying away from the whole strippers and coke thing.
01:20:08.000
There was no food, actually, which was problematic.
01:20:10.000
I think we ordered pizza one of the three days.
01:20:13.000
And it was just three days of intense focusing on alcohol.
01:20:18.000
And my brother's bachelor party is going to be the same thing.
01:20:26.000
But I think the stripper chick thing makes more sense when, you know, you've had like three girlfriends and you're never going to kiss a girl on the lips again.
01:20:38.000
So you want one more smooch, one more set of boobies.
01:20:42.000
We've all fucked like 700 women in the ass and then fucking jizzed on their face.
01:20:48.000
So the idea of like, I need one more kick at the can, I think has died out, especially with porn and everything.
01:20:54.000
So this is, I'm judging this just from my own personal experience, but I think that bachelor parties have become just the guys.
01:21:03.000
Now, I don't know what your friend, what your brother wants.
01:21:06.000
So you got to find out if your brother wants A or B. If he wants B, it's EZ P's.
01:21:10.000
You find a guy with a farm who wants to have a big bonfire.
01:21:22.000
And by the way, even the most mainstream fucking dudes who like rent a stand-up limo, that guy's going to have Coke.
01:21:32.000
So you don't have to worry about getting Tony Soprano to set it up because you're a bad boy.
01:21:36.000
The most mainstream clinical bachelor party company has whores and Coke and everything bad.
01:21:46.000
But the good thing about the mainstream shit, when they take an ad is you can sue them if they fuck up and they're not going to steal your money and it'll be, you know, legit.
01:21:59.000
Where it's like you have strippers and then games.
01:22:08.000
Hey guys, I'm one of those people that absolutely detests the conspiratard right.
01:22:13.000
I was enemy number one to the most influential QAnon grifters, and I've been vindicated on every single issue.
01:22:20.000
These are largely normies and boomers who fall for every single made-up piece of info thrown at them.
01:22:27.000
Mike Lindell's efforts to prove election fraud is a perfect example of this.
01:22:31.000
People that gained influence in this movement were able to influence people like Lindell, all while never even having any sort of expertise on the topics they were commenting on.
01:22:42.000
Matt Brainerd and Look Ahead America took time to investigate Lindell's claim of more than 20,000 fraudulent voters participating in the 2020 election in Wisconsin.
01:22:56.000
Rather than look into it, Lindell claims this definitive proof of election altering fraud sorry, Lindell claims this is proof of election altering fraud.
01:23:07.000
A simple investigation reveals that the system in Racine County, Wisconsin used a default phone number for the voter rolls when no phone number was provided by the voter.
01:23:19.000
Then look ahead, America dug deeper, the numbers got worse.
01:23:22.000
I've attached screenshots of the key parts of the report with the relevant info highlighted and the full report is linked as well.
01:23:28.000
I find it amazing that everyone knew the mail-in ballots were the least secure method and would likely produce massive fraud, yet that was ignored at every turn.
01:23:37.000
Because the conspiratard right thought that super hackers and voting machines was much cooler.
01:23:43.000
Those influencers consisted of General Flynn, Lynn Wood, Sidney Powell, Ron Watkins, a literal nobody LARPer, and many more.
01:23:51.000
They relied on known fraudsters to help them make their claims.
01:23:55.000
One of the women advising Powell was a career scam artist and con woman who had recently claimed to be a brain surgeon and a high-tier CIA intelligence analyst.
01:24:09.000
They all know nothing, and that's what makes them so confident.
01:24:13.000
Had we been able to focus on mail-in ballots, we could have had a fighting chance.
01:24:17.000
We have to save the boomers from this perpetually harmful scam.
01:24:21.000
They may be retards, but they're our retards, and they don't deserve to be swindled.
01:24:26.000
Likewise, we don't deserve to lose as a result of grifting Scumbags.
01:24:36.000
That reminds me of a QAnon dude who sent us a letter about Chrissy Teigen.
01:24:47.000
But man, when you look at Chrissy Teigen's tweets about fucking kids in a row, it's pretty bad.
01:24:59.000
I'm not sure if everyone realized in the 2016, the order was issued to all celebs and people of power.
01:25:05.000
The order states, if you assist Donald Trump to get elected, all of the blackmail material will be released in a coordinated media campaign.
01:25:15.000
Now, I believe that Jeffrey Epstein's island was a Mossad.
01:25:20.000
It was an Israeli secret police endeavor wherein Israel noticed that the left was starting to turn against them.
01:25:29.000
So they said, let's get Clinton and his friends to fuck young girls.
01:25:33.000
And if they talk shit about us, we'll say, we're going to destroy your life.
01:25:47.000
But this guy is saying, no, it was a Trump thing, where if you shit on Trump, no, if you don't shit on Trump, we're going to ruin your life.
01:25:59.000
If we don't feel you were taking Trump enough, blah, blah, blah.
01:26:03.000
You also have Rosie O'Donnell, Joy Beher, Chelsea Handler, Tom Arnold, who gladly shilled for Epstein's group.
01:26:13.000
He exposed Seth Green for having kids in his private mansion behind a secret bookshelf wall.
01:26:21.000
Isaac screwed up and said something he shouldn't have said.
01:26:24.000
We never found out what it was, but his last live stream explained this all.
01:26:27.000
He said, guys, it was just so stupid what I did.
01:26:52.000
So Seth Green has a secret room behind his house?
01:26:56.000
I mean, behind his bookshelf, where he keeps kids?
01:27:08.000
And it's amazing how much, how many times she alluded to sex with a child.
01:27:14.000
A little boy in the pageant now, finally some eye candy for me, toddlers and tiaras.
01:27:25.000
Like, there's plenty of eye candy for men with toddlers and tiaras, but finally a boy is in it now.
01:27:34.000
I just saw a baby that looked like a porn star.
01:27:42.000
Like, that's not the end of the world as a joke, as a one-time thing, amidst a sea of other silly jokes.
01:27:49.000
But seeing little girls do the splits half-naked, just, I want to put myself in jail.
01:28:04.000
Karina Bellanoff is serving a nice four-old cheese pizza with adrenochrome.
01:28:11.000
She's a weird-looking fucking human, isn't she?
01:28:20.000
Their kids could either be gorgeous or elephant men.
01:28:32.000
Joe Biden's Twitter account follows 11 White House affiliated profiles and Chrissy Teigen.
01:28:47.000
I don't really stop laughing and make fun of all my friends who are held hostage.
01:29:00.000
He just said the cleanest and best pleasure is to have sex with a 13-year-old.
01:29:12.000
I know what parents go through when they are forced to tie their kids up in the basement.
01:29:19.000
Like, individually, none of these tweets, or at least most of these tweets, aren't the end of the world.
01:29:24.000
But it's the culmination of them all together that gets you suspicious.
01:29:28.000
I can't think of better company for International Women's Day than Speaker Pelosi and Chrissy Teigen.
01:29:34.000
Of all the celebrities in the world, like, what has she done?
01:29:42.000
I don't know what she's done in the real world.
01:29:50.000
Well, the fucking kids, fuck her and John Lynch.
01:30:02.000
And then, like, co-hosting lip sync battle and other dumb shit.
01:30:32.000
Okay, well, hey, Gavin, you really changed my life and inspired me to get married and stuff, just like fucking random chicks and stuff.
01:30:42.000
And so I've been married and we have a child and he's the most perfect little boy.
01:31:03.000
It's the best thing I ever did with my life for sure.
01:31:06.000
But the problem is me and his mom, you know, or my wife, aren't we really not getting along, and she's talking about leaving me.
01:31:16.000
And, yeah, sorry to get emotional, but I'm just, yeah, I wanted your advice.
01:31:25.000
You know, she doesn't respect me, and she, like, really tries to, like, cuck me a lot.
01:31:34.000
And I, like, you know, just by being disrespectful, not, like, cheating on me or anything, and just, like, saying mean things and, like, slamming doors and storming out of the house and stuff.
01:31:48.000
And I recently got, like, really mad at her and, you know, yelled back at her.
01:31:53.000
And, you know, that was like a really bad mistake.
01:32:03.000
Long story short, what I'm getting at is, how do you handle a wife that doesn't have any respect for you and doesn't treat you well?
01:32:10.000
Like, I'm really struggling to keep this relationship together.
01:32:14.000
Well, I can tell you what I do in my marriage is I slap the shit out of my wife.
01:32:22.000
You'll notice if you ever meet my wife, she has giant sunglasses on, and she'll always go like, I'm such a klutz.
01:32:28.000
And she'll have a foot brace on or a crutch, and she'll be like, there I go, falling down the stairs again.
01:32:35.000
Like, make sure when you hurt her that you give her a story so she can explain her bruises.
01:32:42.000
And if you hit her, hit her with the telephone book.
01:32:45.000
The sunglasses don't even do the trick, though.
01:32:46.000
She looks like Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
01:32:51.000
I can hear Ron, but I can't hear what he's saying.
01:32:56.000
Look, I don't know all the nuances of your relationship, but divorcing with a one-year-old is fucking insane.
01:33:05.000
There's no major thing like a lawsuit or, I don't know, a terrorist attack.
01:33:16.000
Now, if she's being a crazy bitch, there could be all kinds of hormones.
01:33:21.000
Postpartum lunacy, I guess, can go as late as a year.
01:33:26.000
But I would recommend if there's a huge fight, she's screaming and ready to kill you, and you want to murder her, and I totally get that, by the way.
01:33:37.000
You don't leave, but you go away for a couple hours.
01:33:43.000
That's actually where I am right now, and I can't believe it worked out to where y'all were doing a live, and I could call in because that's what I'm doing right now.
01:33:50.000
I left, and I've been gone for about three or four hours now.
01:34:00.000
But if she's hysterical, what are you going to do?
01:34:09.000
That's a long time as far as adrenaline goes to calm things down.
01:34:13.000
But you've got to keep control of the marriage.
01:34:17.000
You have to draw a line in the sand and say, this is what we're doing.
01:34:25.000
If you're like doing Coke all day and forgetting to pick up your kid at daycare, your kid's too young for that.
01:34:32.000
Like if you're constantly fucking up, that's one thing.
01:34:36.000
But if you're not sinning, you're not fucking up, you're not a drunken drug addict, you're not wrecking your life, but she's still mad at you, you've got to just sort of take it on the chin and go, look, we're going to get through this.
01:34:49.000
If you want to fight, I'm going to leave for a couple hours.
01:34:52.000
I think sometimes with a lot of women, it's a test.
01:34:56.000
And it's like, I want to see if you're in for the long haul.
01:34:59.000
I'm going to be a nightmare and see if you buckle and leave me.
01:35:04.000
If you can take me at my worst, you're worthy of my best.
01:35:10.000
If you're handle my worst, me at my worst, then you can take me at my worst.
01:35:20.000
But also don't be a cuck and say like, I'm so sorry.
01:35:25.000
You have to be like, no, look, this is what's going on.
01:35:30.000
And if you want to have a temper tantrum, I'm going to leave for a couple hours.
01:35:36.000
And I've also noticed the best way to please your wife is to please your kids.
01:35:44.000
And a woman, when she sees you playing with your kids and enjoying them, I don't know.
01:35:54.000
Like, if I want to fuck my wife, nothing does it better than me taking the kids out and having a mini putt and mini golf and fucking rock climbing and stuff and doing all kinds of shit with them.
01:36:06.000
Not that I do that with them to get laid, but nothing seduces her more than me focusing on the kids.
01:36:13.000
Because I think it says to her subconscious, I chose the right partner.
01:36:17.000
So I guess what I'm saying to you is the stupidest thing you could do is throw in the towel or get mad at her and want to fight her.
01:36:29.000
You need to stick with the kids, focus on the kids and the kid.
01:36:46.000
I descend from, my family descends from Wales and Ireland.
01:36:49.000
And yeah, maybe I just have a really bad temper because like, yeah, like the thing she does, like, I thought that too.
01:37:04.000
And that lasted for like two days before I was like, fuck.
01:37:13.000
And every morning you just punch a giant leather bag literally hundreds of times.
01:37:19.000
And when you do that, it just changes your whole demeanor.
01:37:23.000
There's no relationship that doesn't have rough patches.
01:37:27.000
It just makes you appreciate the good Times more.
01:37:30.000
Yeah, and no one's saying don't lose your temper.
01:37:46.000
I've got to get his number because if they get divorced, I want to fuck his wife.
01:38:00.000
I've seen the women in my league, and they are hideous.
01:38:29.000
I saw this thing on TikTok, and it's about China and Russia doing a currency together based off of minerals.
01:38:44.000
And they've already been buying fuckloads of gold for how long so?
01:38:50.000
Yeah, so will it be based on gold or based on other precious minerals?
01:38:56.000
I was thinking it was like uranium and probably gold, I was thinking, yeah.
01:39:08.000
If it's myanium, then I already have a major stake in it.
01:39:16.000
Yeah, that is really disturbing and confusing, what is going on.
01:39:23.000
America, America needs to recognize that Russia and China are our enemies.
01:39:30.000
They seem to have figured out it out with Russia, though I'm suspicious of their motive, especially with this Ukraine shit.
01:39:46.000
With Putin in charge, Russia is not playing the long game.
01:39:50.000
I don't know if China would back Russia 100% because they're playing the long game.
01:39:59.000
By the way, those are not a great pair of enemies to have.
01:40:02.000
One group that wants to stab you tonight and the other group that wants to slowly poison you until you die.
01:40:08.000
Well, you also have to understand, there's tons of Muslims.
01:40:11.000
Hey, I gotta go, but shout out to Muslims and Jewish King Calgary.
01:40:22.000
This guy gives us a homework assignment and his goodbyes.
01:40:26.000
Russia and China are great adversaries right now.
01:40:43.000
One of the most important stories of our lifetime happened this week, and almost no one covered it.
01:40:48.000
Russia joined forces with China to create their own new reserve currency.
01:40:58.000
This means that the new reserve currency won't be the US dollar for one thing, which is earth-shattering, right?
01:41:05.000
But it's also earth-shattering for another few reasons.
01:41:08.000
This new currency will be based on rare earth minerals, guys.
01:41:12.000
Gold, silver, uranium, nickel, copper, real tangible things, guys.
01:41:18.000
This means that Russia and China are tying their country's fortunes to minerals out of the ground and then sell to the rest of the world.
01:41:53.000
Like cryptocurrency, like Bitcoin, is owned by fucking Russia.
01:42:03.000
Other than the U.S. dollar and a pound sterling, that's the world standard.
01:42:10.000
Especially when the entire turd world is fixated on cryptocurrencies and phone stuff.
01:42:19.000
I understand, but like, remember that Moneyball movie where instead of getting the best baseball players, they just had a ton of mediocre players and they ended up winning the Oakland A's with Brad Pitt?
01:42:31.000
Russia and China can get a bunch of mediocre players and destroy us with sheer numbers.
01:42:39.000
Believe it or not, Russia's population is fucked up.
01:42:46.000
Their population isn't as strong as it used to be.
01:42:50.000
Because, one, they export a lot of fucking women in the slave trade factory, but they're not having kids.
01:43:28.000
So if it goes down at all, that means it's not growing with everybody else.
01:43:32.000
I mean, it is the largest landmass in the entire world.
01:43:35.000
Right, and they can't defend all their borders.
01:43:40.000
All right, well, let's hear the rest of this video.
01:43:42.000
Stockpiling gold over the last 20 years, while the United States went further and further into debt and printing money.
01:43:53.000
And this was all happening right out there in the open.
01:43:56.000
Here is a headline two years before the war with Ukraine broke Out.
01:44:00.000
China and Russia ditch dollar and move toward financial alliance.
01:44:07.000
Even before the Ukraine conflict started, both China and Russia were stockpiling gold and working on denominating transactions outside of the United States dollar.
01:44:16.000
It was another secret that was all right there out in the open for anyone to pay attention to.
01:44:22.000
This is a massive challenge to the U.S. dollar, which isn't based on gold or anything.
01:44:27.000
If you've been watching, you know that it's based on air.
01:44:29.000
Nothing since we moved off the gold standard in the 1970s.
01:44:42.000
So how does our basic debt work out for us, right?
01:44:45.000
China and Russia are sitting on mountains of minerals that the United States and Europe are clamoring for.
01:44:59.000
Yeah, we're begging for oil from Saudi Arabia, too.
01:45:34.000
He's not going to come to the Bronx from Long Island.
01:45:44.000
I'm actually, I've developed my own irritation with the way I pronounce those words.
01:45:51.000
I met a woman, but she's not like any other of those other women.
01:45:56.000
Hey, Gavin, were female rock stars as promiscuous as male rock stars?
01:46:03.000
Obviously, I know Motley Crew got tons of pussy, spelled weird.
01:46:06.000
But were people blowing security guards and stagehands to fuck Hart or Joan Jett?
01:46:19.000
I find that amazing that someone wants to fuck Motley Crew so bad that they blow like three strangers down an alleyway backstage to get to them.
01:46:31.000
I've been on a couple of tour buses for like God's Mac, Metallica.
01:46:54.000
Singer Nico Case admits she doesn't get hit on and shows the difference between minimum.
01:47:02.000
But do you really want your pussy eaten by a stranger every night?
01:47:10.000
I said, yeah, I mean, I heard Janice Joplin used to be a little bit of a free spirit and fuck a lot of dudes, but that was back in the 60s, free love.
01:47:20.000
The idea of whore back then was probably like, I've had four lovers this year.
01:47:25.000
I mean, now, with porn and everything, we're just like, how many people did you fuck tonight?
01:47:32.000
But Joan Jett probably had like a different boyfriend every month.
01:48:00.000
I can't hear Ryan, but I know y'all are on a time constraint here.
01:48:03.000
So Gavin got three actresses, all of them from the office.
01:48:14.000
Ryan, cannabinoids are a natural anti-inflammatory.
01:48:18.000
That's what you need to drop in your fucking CBD pin ad.
01:48:21.000
Matt Gas is the truth, Maddie, and you fucking know it.
01:48:33.000
She's really attractive to Indian ladies, but she don't do it for me.
01:48:45.000
Who, by the way, is very proud of being a single mom.
01:48:47.000
She turns out is the HR chick that winds up marrying Michael.
01:48:56.000
No, no, not the real estate agent, the girl in HR that takes Toby's place.
01:49:09.000
She's the exact opposite of how she seems in the show.
01:49:30.000
We'll stay real because we're going to fucking be real.
01:49:38.000
By the way, the band Cypress Hill, is that named after Cypress Hill in East New York?
01:49:52.000
But there's a Cypress Hill in East New York that's a very bad area.
01:50:02.000
Cypress, but not Cypress Hill, Avenue, Cypress.
01:50:09.000
It was like a metaphor for the hill to get up there.
01:50:12.000
Cypress Hills is like where all the murders happen in New York.
01:50:19.000
Myrdle Boulevard goes from Fort Greene, Brooklyn, straight through Queens, baby.
01:50:23.000
Wouldn't it be awesome if the New York Times had this, actually did journalism and they had this massive Expose.
01:50:40.000
No, I was going to a house party where Biggie Smalls lived, and we went out at 4 o'clock in the morning, rolling my ass off on ecstasy to go get some water.
01:50:49.000
And I went with my buddy Takis, and we went to the Bodega to get some water because we were all fucked up on ecstasy.
01:50:56.000
So as we're walking back, two guys started following us up Myrtle Avenue onto Prospect Street.
01:51:09.000
It's funny because my younger sister was at that party.
01:51:11.000
I felt bad because she got kind of freaked out about it.
01:51:13.000
But I tapped my buddy Taco and says, yo, we're going to get around the corner.
01:51:17.000
We'll break into the, as soon as we went around the corner, it was the second building on the left.
01:51:23.000
So I said, just go in and get the lobby door open.
01:51:30.000
So we, so, you know, now him and his buddy come shuffling up behind us.
01:51:34.000
Is he, let me get us, first he asked for a cigarette.
01:51:39.000
So I tapped my buddy and we broke into the lobby, and the fucking lobby door was fucking closed.
01:51:44.000
And he's hitting all the buttons to fucking open it.
01:51:56.000
So I'm going to talk, he's open the door, open the door.
01:51:59.000
So all of a sudden, the guy that's on the outside, I see this 357 Magnum come over the shoulder.
01:52:10.000
Yeah, yeah, we went through the, now the door is open because there's no glass.
01:52:14.000
So we run up the fucking stairs and I get into the first landing and I can see their feet.
01:52:25.000
Because I had the guy dead to rights who came in with the knife.
01:52:33.000
Motherfucker, take one move and I'm going to fucking kill you right here.
01:52:40.000
I threw my gun over to Manhattan Bridge as I left Brooklyn the next morning.
01:52:48.000
As he went up, because where Myrtle Avenue comes out, you come to like the Flatbush Avenue and you go right over to Manhattan Bridge.
01:52:54.000
As I was mid-span, I was just right into the East River.
01:53:06.000
My buddy was DJing the party and he had his gun.
01:53:12.000
Hold my gun because as he's leaning over the table as he's DJing, he's like, he's bothering me.
01:53:32.000
Did you see Kamal Harris's Wakanda Forever video?
01:53:47.000
Yeah, you can tell it's a joke because she actually is sane in it.
01:53:52.000
And we are dealing with the dumbest administration in America.
01:54:18.000
Hey, have you guys seen or covered the Bruin ruling that the Supreme Court has recently done?
01:54:29.000
What the fuck is going on with your phone there, E.T.?
01:54:37.000
I don't usually miss landlines, but this is grim.
01:54:45.000
Have you heard about the Bruin case, though, with the Second Amendment and the Supreme Court?
01:54:50.000
They basically said, and now California, New York, and different states are basically going right against that and saying, no, we're going to ban this or that.
01:55:00.000
But the Supreme Court basically says, like, there shouldn't be any gun laws, which is what the.
01:55:06.000
Right, the Supreme Court said this is ridiculous that certain people are eligible for guns and others aren't based on power and fame or some shit.
01:55:18.000
And that's a big deal in New York State and California.
01:55:23.000
And the states are refusing to honor that decision.
01:55:29.000
And well, they went even further, though, when they did, I think Clarence Thomas, they basically said, if you can't go back to the time of the founding and find something that is analogous to that, I don't even know if that's a word, to been near the laws today,
01:55:48.000
You know, anybody, like, any gun law is illegal, basically, because if you read the Second Amendment, it just shall not be infringed.
01:56:02.000
I went in front of the criminal justice system.
01:56:08.000
I went and served that punishment, and I am free from all prejudice.
01:56:16.000
I don't want to say, what is it, handicapping restrictions?
01:56:26.000
You let your bike get stolen because you didn't lock it.
01:56:29.000
Your parents say you're not getting a new bike, and you're grounded for two weeks.
01:56:34.000
After those two weeks, you may even get a bike, by the way.
01:56:37.000
But you no longer are guilty of letting your bike get stolen.
01:56:41.000
The legal term is called a relief of disabilities.
01:56:45.000
Like in New York State, when they say convicted felons can't vote, that's not true.
01:56:50.000
While you're incarcerated in custody or on probation or parole, your right to vote is suspended.
01:56:59.000
Once you get relieved of, once you've paid your served all your time and done your business.
01:57:04.000
But can't some convicts that are doing time also vote?
01:57:08.000
Vermont is one, and I believe it's Rhode Island.
01:57:14.000
I know Vermont for sure because there was a guy with me in federal prison.
01:57:19.000
He was there for bank robbery and he was allowed, he voted while we were in prison.
01:57:34.000
I should be able to enjoy all my God-given unalienable rights.
01:57:47.000
Well, Canada has their own laws, a different country.
01:57:53.000
And in the Western world, you should be punished for a crime.
01:58:03.000
Why are you fucking dragging me down for the rest of my life?
01:58:06.000
Even probation and all this, those dumb classes that you want to take.
01:58:21.000
Wait, I thought his trial, James told me his trial was delayed again.
01:58:38.000
Because you don't seem to agree with me on this.
01:58:51.000
He keeps feigning an illness right before his court date.
01:58:58.000
You just keep going to the hospital before you have your trial, and they keep delaying your trial until eventually the system goes, you know what?
01:59:22.000
But if there's a hospital report, and he did it like four times.
01:59:28.000
So he's not, the guy is so retarded, he's smart.
01:59:32.000
The guy is not going to do any time for drunk driving.
01:59:43.000
And it's getting dropped down to a violation, not even a crime.
01:59:47.000
He has to do 90 days mad, which his mother's against drunk driving, and 90 days community service.
01:59:55.000
The dumbest guy you and I know, not including mentally ill people like Linda and Al and others, beat the system.
02:00:06.000
Hey, Gav, Moto Maddie, and Bag of Fag Long Bangs, Ryan.
02:00:32.000
Just wanted to let you know the whole family loves the content.
02:00:36.000
Oh, this is the guy who flew to Bubba and Hanks.
02:00:40.000
Can't wait to celebrate when all the guys get out.
02:00:54.000
The idea of just spontaneously doing Joker faces when anyone throws some money at Max and John is untenable.
02:01:04.000
So I don't want anyone else asking for Joker faces because this isn't a month order in.
02:01:57.000
By the way, the guy who made the shirt just texted me and said, finally, I made the live stream.
02:02:04.000
And by the way, the guy who made these shirts, I don't want to speak out of term, but he's a major player at Nickelodeon.
02:02:13.000
But you'd be surprised how many baby monsters there are in top positions.
02:02:35.000
I think we've spilled those beans before to be honest.
02:02:47.000
I missed the OG GML bookshelf and trinkets because he directed.
02:02:50.000
I think it's cool that it's like, it's like, you know, it harkens back to the days of yore.
02:02:57.000
I'm hearkening back to the time when I didn't have to piss my pants.
02:03:07.000
So I have two gyms now to make up for leaving my old gym.
02:03:10.000
But I thought it'd be funny to be in my bathing suit at the pool and be like, oh, shit, oh, shit.
02:03:17.000
You're like, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
02:03:36.000
I always thought that would be a great episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm to have Larry David go, go up, someone would be like, I saw you come in here.
02:03:52.000
I don't want to get kicked out of another place.
02:03:54.000
But have Larry David go up and be like, I saw you come in here.
02:04:17.000
Larry, if you're looking for a writer for Kirby Enthusiasm, I am available for bits.
02:04:27.000
Someone said, yes, Gavin, Ryan was wrong to play that Kirby Your Enthusiasm end.
02:04:39.000
Ryan, next time Gavin's in Larry David mode, use this one instead of that theme song.
02:04:48.000
This song is more like you're being a Larry David.
02:05:06.000
He was being interviewed, and he said, why do you choose that song?
02:05:12.000
It was an old Italian opera song, and I just thought it perfectly summed up the sort of slapstick that I wanted to do with the show.
02:05:19.000
And then we were doing a commercial about a year after I heard him say that.
02:05:23.000
And we're going through free music because we don't want to pay.
02:05:29.000
And we're going through old-timey like trombone music, whatever.
02:05:53.000
I took a walk the other day and thought about how things used to be.