Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 08, 2022


GOML LIVE #160 - AVOCADO TOAST (Part 1)

Topics
horseshoe crab tracks gummies dreams
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Chuck E. Cheese Alex Jones Frank Rizzo Rack Ops Elmo Matty Odell Tommy Robinson Jesse James Joe Tonelli Sam Hyde Jessie Zoey Female Ben Shapiro Kick Proud Boys Jackie Martling Frank Howell Sandy Hook Maddie Hitler and 57 more
S4E151 - THE PRISON INTERVIEWS S4E152 - BANANA REPUBLIC

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per minute

153.65

Word count

10,676

Sentence count

1,520

Harmful content

Misogyny

65

sentences flagged

Toxicity

327

sentences flagged

Hate speech

71

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gavin McInnes and Matty Odell talk about music, crack heads, and the New York City Police Department. Matty also talks about his new music taste, and Gavin talks about the new Disney movie 101 Dalmatians. Matty and Gavin also talk about crack heads and crack heads in New York. Also, Matty talks about how he doesn t like buttcheeks. The guys talk about the history of Cruella De Vil and how it s a good thing he s not a criminal. And Matty gives us a run down of some of the craziest things he s seen in the news lately. Enjoy this episode of Get Off My Lawn! Get off my lawn! Get on my lawn, Gavin! GAVEN McINNES & MATTY O'Dell Get On My Lawn with Gavin McINnes & Matty O'Donnell Subscribe to get exclusive sneak peeks at upcoming episodes of the podcast! Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Leave us a review on iTunes! Enjoy & Retweet this episode and tell a friend about it on your favorite streaming service! Thanks for listening! Cheers! -Matty & Maty - Matty & Ryan Mattie Thanks to Matty & Ryan for coming on the pod! XOXO Thank you so much for listening and supporting the podcast, Gavin & Ryan! Take care of Matty! Love ya! xoxo, Ben & Ben XOdave and Ben and Ben & Ryan, xo Love you're amazing (and Ben & the gang at the rest of the crew at the Rock & Roll Crew, too much love, Gave you a chance to make it all the love and support you can be a little bit more than that, Ben and the rest can do it so much more than you can handle it, you know what you can do that, so much love you're all of that's not enough, thank you appreciate it, and all of the love you do it, etc., etc. - Thank you, thanks so much, thanks, Ben, Thank you for being awesome, love you, etc, etc. etc, good vibing, good night, good day, good days, etc etc, and much more, etc..

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:53.000 Who is that guy, Ryan? 1.00
00:00:55.000 Some gay fucking band. 1.00
00:00:57.000 I hate seeing buttcheeks. 1.00
00:00:58.000 That's so gay. 1.00
00:00:59.000 Oh, you do not like the buttcheeks. 0.99
00:01:00.000 Ryan, I own chaps.
00:01:01.000 Well, I'm sure you wear stuff under the chaps. 0.79
00:01:04.000 Sure.
00:01:22.000 Unless it's hot. 0.99
00:01:23.000 It's just, I like, it's so gross to see buttcheeks, guys buttcheeks, that's disgusting. 1.00
00:01:28.000 That's gay. 1.00
00:01:29.000 So what's the name of the band? 0.98
00:01:30.000 Oh.
00:01:31.000 Um, they're called the Humpasaurus.
00:01:35.000 Oh yeah, Humpasaurus.
00:01:35.000 Bunch of sexy guys.
00:01:36.000 It's a little, uh, similar to Primus.
00:01:40.000 Yeah, I can see that.
00:01:42.000 When we were setting up the show, Ryan was playing like Cambried and Cobria.
00:01:47.000 No, it was not Cobria. 1.00
00:01:48.000 Fucking garbage. 1.00
00:01:49.000 It was not Coheed. 1.00
00:01:50.000 Guitar center teacher garbage shit. 1.00
00:01:53.000 Not true. 1.00
00:01:53.000 And then I put on, or someone, he puts on Rock the Casbah, but it comes on. 1.00
00:01:59.000 I put it on.
00:02:00.000 Yeah, but it's because of me you put it on.
00:02:01.000 Yes.
00:02:01.000 So I put it on.
00:02:03.000 And I go, see, how can you not objectively see that this song is better than the Guitar Center shit you were playing? 0.91
00:02:09.000 And he's like, I want to see what the new guys are up to. 0.85
00:02:11.000 I want to see what the new guys, that's old stuff. 0.99
00:02:14.000 Okay, that dumb song is new. 0.93
00:02:18.000 That's funny and weird and interesting. 1.00
00:02:20.000 Like your Guitar Center shit is fucking garbage. 1.00
00:02:25.000 It's for people who teach guitar. 1.00
00:02:27.000 I do teach guitar.
00:02:28.000 And because you're Puerto Rican that means basura. 0.84
00:02:31.000 You don't teach guitar.
00:02:32.000 I've taught.
00:02:33.000 To who?
00:02:34.000 My daughter for one night?
00:02:36.000 I've taught other people guitar.
00:02:38.000 How many times?
00:02:39.000 My friend Frank Howell, I taught him how to play La Bamba and Free Fallin. 1.00
00:02:44.000 Play that shit you were playing before, just so everyone can see your terrible taste in music. 0.99
00:02:48.000 Okay, warning, this is a banger. 1.00
00:02:50.000 Let me guess, it's Slap. 0.99
00:02:51.000 This is the Thag Zone music. 0.99
00:03:02.000 I work out to that.
00:03:03.000 It's like emo Motley Crue. 1.00
00:03:05.000 It's fucking, you should be embarrassed. 1.00
00:03:08.000 It's tight. 1.00
00:03:10.000 Welcome back, Matty Odell.
00:03:11.000 Hey everybody, good to see you.
00:03:16.000 I hate your taste in music.
00:03:17.000 That's fine.
00:03:18.000 It's not different.
00:03:19.000 It doesn't shake me one little... It's not like when I see someone into polka music and I go, oh, I don't get that, or someone into rap and I'm like, I'm not a big rap guy, or country I respect, but your taste in music doesn't slap.
00:03:31.000 Oh, it slaps.
00:03:32.000 And you know how I react when you tell me my music doesn't slap?
00:03:36.000 You play Melissa Etheridge again and say, that don't impress me much.
00:03:40.000 That's Shania, How Dare You. 1.00
00:03:41.000 I do this, I go,
00:03:44.000 Is that a booger?
00:03:47.000 Oh, so you do one of my jokes when I insult you?
00:03:49.000 Okay, I got you.
00:03:50.000 Maybe that's from yesterday.
00:03:51.000 I don't remember eating that.
00:03:53.000 You offered to teach me how to play the guitar.
00:03:56.000 I could, and I will.
00:03:57.000 Cover the New York Post, 10 people, 945 days, 485 crimes.
00:03:58.000 Most are still free. 1.00
00:04:05.000 It is a fucking war zone in this town, folks. 1.00
00:04:09.000 An absolute shithole war zone. 1.00
00:04:11.000 I saw the Daily Mail. 0.99
00:04:12.000 I just sent you this.
00:04:13.000 They found one of these guys.
00:04:15.000 These career criminals.
00:04:17.000 Me?
00:04:18.000 New York City's most... Oh, not anymore, dude.
00:04:22.000 You did like four crimes.
00:04:24.000 That you got caught for.
00:04:43.000 He's like in that new, speaking of 101 Dalmatians, that new Disney movie that's all a punky that my daughter watched and loved.
00:04:52.000 The girl with the half black hair with Kirsten Dunst.
00:04:57.000 You know what I'm talking about?
00:04:57.000 No, no.
00:04:58.000 That wouldn't pass me by.
00:05:00.000 The new like Cruella de Vil thing.
00:05:02.000 It's the history of Cruella de Vil.
00:05:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:05:05.000 And it didn't pass you by.
00:05:06.000 You watched it as an adult.
00:05:08.000 You said new.
00:05:08.000 That was two years ago.
00:05:11.000 Yeah, well in the history of film it's considered pretty new.
00:05:14.000 But you know those kind of bad guys, those kind of career criminals who like steal a locket?
00:05:19.000 Do you see the numbers though?
00:05:20.000 101 arrests, 15 convictions.
00:05:25.000 Not a good ratio.
00:05:26.000 No.
00:05:27.000 See, when I see this guy, I don't think of like the old burglar like in Disney cartoons where they have the black thing around, they have the striped thing. 1.00
00:05:36.000 This guy is an imbecile. 0.99
00:05:41.000 Like, I don't think he's, uh... Hello? 1.00
00:05:46.000 I don't think it goes up, Ryan.
00:05:48.000 Oh, turn the whole thing up.
00:05:50.000 I don't think this guy is like, ooh, I've got a new plan to invade Target this time, where we're gonna go through the back door.
00:05:56.000 Like, you watch Better Call Saul, the new Better Call Saul, and he starts giving the security guard Cinnabons, and he notices that it takes him like 3.8 seconds to eat a Cinnabon, and he's not looking at the screens when he eats it, so then he plans an attack to rob all these stores based on 3.8 minutes.
00:06:16.000 The guy hits his head and gets knocked out, and that fucks up the whole plan, but the point is,
00:06:20.000 That there's some scheming going on.
00:06:21.000 I don't think this is a schemer.
00:06:23.000 No, that's the guy sitting on a milk crate in front of the bodega around the corner.
00:06:26.000 Yeah, this is a lemur, not a schemer. 0.99
00:06:29.000 This is a... look at the fucking art he likes. 1.00
00:06:32.000 This is a retard. 1.00
00:06:34.000 This is a guy who would make Ryan Rivera look like a super genius. 1.00
00:06:41.000 He is a super genius.
00:06:44.000 According to our sources, Ryan Katzu Rivera was caught on hidden camera being a secret genius and liking the coolest music that actually slaps.
00:06:55.000 Speaking of genius, let's, uh, I want to give you guys a little brain teaser.
00:06:59.000 Sure.
00:07:00.000 Okay?
00:07:00.000 I sent you a picture, Ryan, and I want all three of us to try to figure it out.
00:07:05.000 Gotcha.
00:07:06.000 Truth be told, I spent 20 minutes on this and I think I got it.
00:07:10.000 So I'm cheating.
00:07:12.000 And I think Maddie might come close.
00:07:16.000 But I could, I could lock Ryan in a cell for three years.
00:07:22.000 I would not like that.
00:07:23.000 And I could be like, Ryan, you can get out the second you solve this mystery. 0.99
00:07:28.000 What the fuck happened here? 1.00
00:07:29.000 The second you solve it, you're out. 1.00
00:07:32.000 I know what it is already.
00:07:33.000 Okay.
00:07:33.000 What happened?
00:07:34.000 That's the fucking tracks that a fucking horseshoe crab makes. 1.00
00:07:37.000 Okay. 1.00
00:07:41.000 We're not, that's the step one.
00:07:44.000 So what happened here?
00:07:45.000 Go back to the picture.
00:07:47.000 That's a horseshoe crab in the middle.
00:07:50.000 So it went in a circle?
00:07:50.000 Right.
00:07:52.000 Yeah.
00:07:53.000 Okay.
00:07:54.000 Why is it where the circle meets the main track?
00:07:57.000 There's no overlap.
00:08:00.000 There's a disturbance there behind his tail.
00:08:02.000 Yes, but where, where at the top there, where the loop meets itself, there's no disturbance.
00:08:11.000 So it had to have started there.
00:08:15.000 Or maybe he was there and another one walked around him.
00:08:19.000 What do you think, Ryan?
00:08:21.000 Hmm.
00:08:23.000 I'm still, uh... Yeah, unfortunately, Matty nailed it, so Ryan can just sit here in the dust.
00:08:29.000 I don't see those anymore.
00:08:31.000 Like, when I was a kid growing up, at the beach, there was horseshoe crabs everywhere.
00:08:36.000 That's why it looks like tire tracks in the sand.
00:08:39.000 Right.
00:08:40.000 Here's what happened.
00:08:41.000 You ready?
00:08:42.000 The horseshoe crab you saw is dead.
00:08:45.000 So go back to the picture.
00:08:47.000 Tides coming in and out, in and out.
00:08:49.000 A horseshoe crab is deposited where that braid meets the tracks.
00:08:57.000 That's where it lands from scratch.
00:09:00.000 The water washes out.
00:09:01.000 The dead horseshoe crab is already there.
00:09:05.000 It then goes ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka.
00:09:07.000 Ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka tick
00:09:07.000 Wait, the other way.
00:09:27.000 That's what happened.
00:09:29.000 That horseshoe crab you see has nothing to do with those horseshoe crab tracks.
00:09:35.000 It's a red herring.
00:09:36.000 That is your conjecture on Somalis.
00:09:38.000 We have no proof.
00:09:40.000 Now can you imagine how long Ryan would be in a cell trying to understand even the question?
00:09:48.000 And this is why we should annex Puerto Rico.
00:09:52.000 Just let it go.
00:09:53.000 Why do we have Puerto Rico?
00:09:54.000 It's only a commonwealth.
00:09:56.000 It's like Guam.
00:09:57.000 I know, but they get our welfare. 0.91
00:09:59.000 Cut them loose.
00:10:02.000 What have they brought us besides Ryan Rivera? 1.00
00:10:05.000 And the only reason he has an IQ is because his penis injected a Puerto Rican with some Japanese sperm. 1.00
00:10:10.000 There are some hot Puerto Rican chicks. 1.00
00:10:13.000 Yes, I'm not going to deny that.
00:10:15.000 And Cardi Rum.
00:10:18.000 So that's the only reason we have Puerto Rico is for sexiness? 0.91
00:10:21.000 And they're good boxers.
00:10:23.000 Like who?
00:10:24.000 It's questionable.
00:10:25.000 Uh, I don't know.
00:10:26.000 Koto?
00:10:27.000 Is that one?
00:10:28.000 Koko, the gorilla?
00:10:29.000 Koto?
00:10:30.000 Yeah.
00:10:33.000 I got my glasses on.
00:10:34.000 What about these?
00:10:35.000 But you can't do these.
00:10:38.000 What, what are those?
00:10:41.000 The diving bell that Psylocke Fox and Max Mouse are using has snapped its chain.
00:10:47.000 A rescue team can reach Skylock and Max within 20 minutes, but there are only 50 minutes of air left.
00:10:53.000 What will Skylock do?
00:10:57.000 Can he just open that and they can swim up?
00:10:59.000 Let's see.
00:11:01.000 Solution.
00:11:02.000 He'll use the lug wrench to remove the sunken car's tires and release the air into the diving bell.
00:11:09.000 Oh, that's weird.
00:11:10.000 Yeah.
00:11:11.000 How do we know that the lug wrench will open that door?
00:11:11.000 Wait a minute.
00:11:17.000 The sunken car's tires.
00:11:18.000 Oh, release their air into the diving bell. 0.80
00:11:22.000 Is that good air?
00:11:22.000 Is that breathable air?
00:11:24.000 Check this one out, but don't read the... Maybe in a pinch, I wouldn't want to take it right out of the fucking tire. 0.98
00:11:28.000 No thanks. 0.96
00:11:31.000 Two treasure hunters are trying to divide items they retrieved from an undersea shipwreck.
00:11:35.000 How does Slylock Fox suggest the quarreling shipmates arrange their split so that way each feels equally satisfied?
00:11:44.000 Well, that's easy.
00:11:44.000 They break each and every item in two and they each take half.
00:11:49.000 Hmm.
00:11:50.000 Let's see.
00:11:50.000 Anyway, we should get started.
00:11:52.000 Well, let's see if you're right.
00:11:53.000 Can you print out the sponsors tonight, Ryan?
00:11:57.000 I think our ad sales guy is back.
00:11:59.000 Yes.
00:12:00.000 I don't know what's going on with her.
00:12:01.000 Solution.
00:12:02.000 Slylock suggests one partner divide the items into two piles and the other partner be given first choice.
00:12:06.000 Yeah, that's how you split a cookie. 0.98
00:12:07.000 That's like the problem with your retard kid ones is they're so simple that it's impossible to figure out how retarded they are. 1.00
00:12:16.000 I see. 0.97
00:12:17.000 Like everyone knows if you want to split something with someone the other guy cuts it and then the other guy chooses.
00:12:22.000 That's from like kindergarten.
00:12:28.000 But way to take my totally cool thing and make it kindergarten.
00:12:34.000 Yeah, so we'd like to thank our sponsors tonight.
00:12:36.000 I think we have some new ones.
00:12:37.000 Ryan, are they behind you?
00:12:38.000 Yeah, they're printing right now.
00:12:41.000 Let's start with Nita Fashions. 0.72
00:12:43.000 Haven't given them a shout out in a while.
00:12:45.000 I usually wear a suit on the show and when I wear a suit, don't worry about printing out the others until I'm done this readout.
00:12:50.000 Focus on pulling up Nita Fashions.
00:12:53.000 The way it works is you contact them.
00:12:55.000 Now, there's a million ways you can do this, obviously.
00:12:57.000 But what I'm noticing is the pattern with our viewers, our subscribers, and that is they contact them on their Instagram page.
00:13:04.000 They DM them.
00:13:05.000 This is what the kids are up to today.
00:13:08.000 And they say, hey, I'd like to meet you online.
00:13:14.000 And so they meet online, and they set up a meeting where they get measured.
00:13:19.000 And the guy's girlfriend, whatever...
00:13:22.000 Does all the various basic chest measurements, inseam, all that stuff.
00:13:27.000 The next thing you know, they have like a blueprint of your body.
00:13:30.000 And then you can start going through swatches, suits.
00:13:32.000 I sent them a suit I saw in an old timey picture and they made it.
00:13:36.000 But once they have your blueprint, then they can make anything for you.
00:13:40.000 A suit, a shirt, a cheap $50 shirt, a super thick, cool, high quality $250 shirt.
00:13:46.000 Whatever you want.
00:13:49.000 You can have one suit, you can have a hundred suits.
00:13:51.000 Every time, almost every time you see me wearing a suit on the show, it's a Nina fashion suit.
00:13:56.000 And I gotta say, it's one of the most comfortable experiences in the world to have a suit that is personally tailored to you.
00:14:04.000 It feels amazing.
00:14:05.000 What's going on with that second picture there with the black guy?
00:14:07.000 That looks like a dress. 0.99
00:14:10.000 Is he wearing a dress?
00:14:11.000 He's obscured by a stump.
00:14:13.000 Oh, you're banned from the internet.
00:14:16.000 So I can't even click the picture.
00:14:18.000 I thought you were gonna use mine.
00:14:20.000 I can log in with yours?
00:14:20.000 I don't care.
00:14:22.000 Oh, I see.
00:14:22.000 There's a stump in the way.
00:14:23.000 That would be funny if they just made a nice dress. 1.00
00:14:25.000 You know, one time I was getting fitted for Anita Fashions because they also, I didn't mention this, because the odds of it matching up with you are pretty low, but they also do these tours where they're in New York, Glasgow, fucking San Diego, San Jose, whatever.
00:14:42.000 They're all over the world.
00:14:44.000 And you go and get fitted for that.
00:14:46.000 And then one time I was there and there was a woman there. 0.62
00:14:50.000 And I was like, what, what are you doing here?
00:14:54.000 Why do you guys always have to come to our things?
00:14:57.000 And I said to the guys, I go, what's going on with her?
00:14:59.000 And they go, oh, she wants like a custom skirt and stuff. 1.00
00:15:02.000 And female clients are tough because they always want, you know, you to revamp it and they don't like the way it turns here and twists there. 1.00
00:15:09.000 And I was like, it's like a woman showing up to a barbershop, which happens all the time.
00:15:15.000 And you go, can we have, we don't want a lot of areas.
00:15:19.000 We want barbershops, custom fittings with tailors, and dive bars. 0.99
00:15:26.000 I think that's it.
00:15:27.000 I can live on that.
00:15:27.000 Yeah.
00:15:28.000 That's all we ask.
00:15:29.000 100%? 0.96
00:15:29.000 It's like the gays. 0.96
00:15:32.000 We gave them Israel. 0.99
00:15:33.000 We gave them the West Village.
00:15:35.000 And then we see the East Village.
00:15:37.000 They're all holding hands. 0.93
00:15:38.000 And I'm like, no problem with the gays.
00:15:41.000 I moved into the city when I was 18 in 1988.
00:15:44.000 I've never not been around gays.
00:15:46.000 But we gave you a quadrant.
00:15:48.000 We gave you a zone.
00:15:49.000 Christopher Street.
00:15:51.000 And then you go to Hell's Kitchen, and it's feather boas and leather pants and holding hands and you're like, wait, so now you have the Lower West Side, the Lower East Side, and the Upper, sort of the Upper East Side.
00:16:07.000 Sort of the Southern Upper East Side. 0.95
00:16:10.000 Like, guys, they just keep fucking spreading. 0.99
00:16:12.000 And it's the same with women. 1.00
00:16:13.000 Anyway, I'm not sure they'd like me shitting on broads in our, um, Need of Fashions segment. 0.99
00:16:19.000 What if they would do a kilt? 0.98
00:16:20.000 What?
00:16:20.000 Would they make a kilt?
00:16:21.000 I'm sure they can.
00:16:22.000 Nice.
00:16:23.000 Dude, I sent them a Jesse James suit and they made it.
00:16:26.000 Sweet.
00:16:27.000 So anyway, check out Need of Fashions. 1.00
00:16:28.000 Make sure you drop our name for a discount.
00:16:30.000 It's not really a specific thing, like 20% off.
00:16:33.000 If you say Gavin, it's more of a vibe, but they'll give you a good deal.
00:16:37.000 And then once they have your blueprint,
00:16:40.000 And they can, if you get fat or skinny, they can incorporate that.
00:16:43.000 You just resize yourself.
00:16:45.000 But then you just, like, look at a swatch, you look at a shirt, you look at a suit, and then you just have them make it, and it arrives in the mail. 0.64
00:16:51.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.66
00:16:56.000 Wow, it's amazing how fast the first half hour goes. 0.98
00:17:00.000 We're almost done.
00:17:03.000 Did you see that chick, the pot chick, who brought the vape pens? 1.00
00:17:06.000 People think she's a dude now.
00:17:11.000 Brittany Grenier, gender speculated after old Instagram image showing her to be a man goes viral.
00:17:18.000 On sentencing day, she got her boots smoked.
00:17:24.000 That might be cool if you get sentenced to a Russian prison. 0.99
00:17:29.000 Well, she doesn't like America. 0.60
00:17:31.000 Yes.
00:17:32.000 Well, she got nine years.
00:17:33.000 Yeah.
00:17:34.000 He got nine years, it looks like.
00:17:36.000 Look at this guy.
00:17:36.000 Did you hear his voice?
00:17:39.000 No.
00:17:40.000 They've pled guilty to my charges.
00:17:42.000 I understand everything that's being said against me, the charges that are against me, and that is why I pled guilty.
00:17:50.000 But I had no intent to break any Russian laws.
00:17:54.000 I never meant to hurt anybody.
00:17:56.000 I never meant to put in jeopardy the Russian population.
00:17:59.000 I never meant to break any laws here.
00:18:03.000 I made an honest mistake.
00:18:05.000 That's like the guy that trains us.
00:18:08.000 Ryan.
00:18:16.000 Yeah.
00:18:17.000 Similar.
00:18:18.000 Similar vibes.
00:18:18.000 I feel really bad for that guy.
00:18:20.000 Girl.
00:18:21.000 Why?
00:18:22.000 I don't know.
00:18:22.000 It feels like nine years seems a little tough in a Russian prison.
00:18:25.000 Nine years is pretty nuts. 1.00
00:18:26.000 That's fucked up. 0.99
00:18:27.000 Playing on her basketball team just in America, she was making a quarter of a million dollars a year. 0.99
00:18:32.000 She's in the one percent.
00:18:34.000 But then she started petitioning that she's not going to stand for the national anthem.
00:18:38.000 I get that.
00:18:39.000 I get that.
00:18:40.000 But do you want your political opponents to go to jail for ten years?
00:18:43.000 No.
00:18:44.000 She's like everything I dislike. 1.00
00:18:45.000 I hate her guts, don't get me wrong. 1.00
00:18:49.000 I hate his guts. 0.99
00:18:51.000 Let's go back to that tit pic. 0.98
00:18:53.000 Is there any evidence of surgery?
00:18:56.000 Is there a scar under that tit?
00:18:58.000 I don't think there was.
00:19:01.000 What?
00:19:02.000 Sir.
00:19:03.000 Jury.
00:19:04.000 He puts the sir in surgery.
00:19:06.000 And he got convicted by a jury, so sir first jury.
00:19:10.000 I hate you tonight.
00:19:13.000 But zoom in on that tit. 0.99
00:19:16.000 It's a guy tit.
00:19:17.000 Yeah, there's zero scarring there.
00:19:20.000 That may be photoshopped though.
00:19:20.000 That's a dude's tit.
00:19:22.000 It's kind of blurry and like the... Yeah, get closer.
00:19:25.000 But you would have to have her
00:19:28.000 Right where her solar plexus is, it's kind of fuzzy.
00:19:31.000 It is a little blurry.
00:19:32.000 But she'd be completely shirtless on Instagram? 0.93
00:19:34.000 I believe nine years is extremely harsh for what she'd had.
00:19:39.000 Right, but you know why they're doing nine years, so they can argue that we need the Death Merchant back. 0.99
00:19:47.000 I wouldn't be surprised, Biden is such a pussy, I wouldn't be surprised if not only do they get the Death Merchant back, 0.99
00:19:55.000 The guy who was charged with trying to murder Americans, but they also get back another... He's only got 10 more years to deal on his sentence. 1.00
00:20:06.000 That guy.
00:20:09.000 He got 25 years.
00:20:11.000 Can you believe that?
00:20:13.000 They'll give people life for drugs, for selling drugs in America, but this guy's supplying everyone all over the world.
00:20:17.000 You convict him in Manhattan and you give him 25 years.
00:20:19.000 Yeah.
00:20:22.000 Makes sense.
00:20:23.000 That's why they gave nine years, because this other guy has ten years left.
00:20:26.000 It's symbolic.
00:20:28.000 What?
00:20:29.000 Yeah, it's like, you give him ten years, then I'm gonna give her ten years.
00:20:33.000 I don't think symbolic is the word.
00:20:35.000 It's, they're trying to do a straight trade.
00:20:37.000 Tip for that.
00:20:38.000 So it's, yeah, it's ten versus ten.
00:20:41.000 Symbolic.
00:20:43.000 Just showcasing, you know, what I can do.
00:20:46.000 That is not a woman. 1.00
00:20:47.000 Yeah, no.
00:20:48.000 The first time I saw that video, I was like, that's a guy.
00:20:49.000 Kinda like... That's the body of a guy!
00:20:53.000 Like you know a female's body. 1.00
00:20:55.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:55.000 Must be great though when you're a lesbian and you meet a chick and she has a penis. 1.00
00:20:58.000 And you're like, this is awesome. 1.00
00:21:00.000 I hate dudes. 0.89
00:21:01.000 I hate strap-ons. 0.74
00:21:02.000 You gotta wash them.
00:21:02.000 They're hard to find.
00:21:03.000 Does she have an Adam's apple there? 1.00
00:21:05.000 Go back like three seconds, Ryan.
00:21:07.000 Watch her talk.
00:21:08.000 Oh yeah.
00:21:13.000 Come see what I can do.
00:21:15.000 I'm really good at basketball.
00:21:21.000 It's so empowering seeing women play basketball.
00:21:26.000 Second reading of the day.
00:21:28.000 The comments.
00:21:30.000 Seems like a nice young fella.
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00:23:02.000 Nice! 0.94
00:23:03.000 We've got the Rack Out gummies!
00:23:05.000 Those put you to sleep.
00:23:07.000 Had one of those the other night.
00:23:08.000 Oh yeah?
00:23:09.000 That's a military term, Rack Out.
00:23:11.000 Rack Out.
00:23:12.000 What does Rack Out mean?
00:23:14.000 I'm about to commence Rack Ops.
00:23:16.000 You gonna sleep?
00:23:17.000 THC free?
00:23:18.000 As you read, they call you Rack.
00:23:19.000 Oh, I see.
00:23:24.000 I noticed too, when you take gummies to sleep, your dreams are fascinating.
00:23:30.000 Like, bring the popcorn to bed, you're about to go on a wild ride, boys!
00:23:34.000 I took one the other night to go to sleep.
00:23:36.000 And were your dreams crazy?
00:23:38.000 Yeah, they were really vivid.
00:23:40.000 But I slept well, I think I only got up once.
00:23:42.000 You gonna try one?
00:23:47.000 I'm not going to try one now that I'm doing a show.
00:23:48.000 Good point.
00:23:50.000 You can try one.
00:23:51.000 It's THC free.
00:23:51.000 I tried one.
00:23:55.000 So it's not going to mess me up.
00:23:56.000 But they have Delta 8 and Delta 9.
00:23:59.000 That I'm assuming will F you up.
00:24:01.000 Okay, so that goes back to the end of the ad read.
00:24:05.000 Shellshockedcbd.com.
00:24:07.000 Welcome aboard.
00:24:08.000 Forward slash Gavin.
00:24:10.000 Dude, I almost went to our local today.
00:24:13.000 Oh yeah?
00:24:14.000 Guess what was going on?
00:24:17.000 At the local?
00:24:18.000 Yes.
00:24:20.000 A. Joe Tonelli is back. 1.00
00:24:24.000 Speaking his dumb shit. 1.00
00:24:25.000 Really? 1.00
00:24:26.000 Seriously?
00:24:26.000 Seriously?
00:24:27.000 Come on, Gavin.
00:24:28.000 Really?
00:24:28.000 Really?
00:24:30.000 He's back as a patron or an employee?
00:24:32.000 A patron.
00:24:34.000 I mean, yeah, yeah, patron.
00:24:37.000 Talking to Abigail, who it looks like she's going to the Academy Awards in the Caribbean and is a drag queen.
00:24:46.000 She's hard on the eyes. 1.00
00:24:49.000 First of all, she's hideous, but she dresses like a fucking weirdo drag queen. 1.00
00:24:53.000 Five inch stiletto heels, red leather short shorts. 1.00
00:24:57.000 Her hair's in a bun with jewelry on the bun.
00:25:01.000 And I don't have a problem with any of that. 0.98
00:25:03.000 I'm ugly.
00:25:04.000 I'm fine. 1.00
00:25:05.000 But the fucking perfume hits the ceiling fans and we're all dying. 0.99
00:25:11.000 Relia Bill was literally in tears. 0.99
00:25:14.000 His eyes were watering.
00:25:15.000 He stumbled out of there.
00:25:19.000 So she's sitting down talking to Joe Tonelli in her weird super formal gear.
00:25:24.000 Like what?
00:25:25.000 Why are you dressed like a drag queen at the Academy Awards? 1.00
00:25:27.000 It's a dive bar.
00:25:29.000 You're 40 minutes from Yonkers.
00:25:33.000 She takes an Uber.
00:25:34.000 Why'd you take an Uber?
00:25:36.000 She's got money like that. 1.00
00:25:37.000 And if she's a Fed, why did they send the worst person in the world?
00:25:40.000 As I said the other day, the only two senses she doesn't violate are taste and touch. 0.99
00:25:48.000 So she needs to shit on a piece of sandpaper and rub it on my tongue, and then she will have hit all five senses in a bad way. 1.00
00:25:56.000 Can we not do this, please? 1.00
00:25:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:26:00.000 So, uh... Can we not do this?
00:26:02.000 And then there's the Puerto Rican, or whatever he is, the Italian Jew, Puerto Rican Jew. 0.91
00:26:02.000 And then it gets worse. 0.91
00:26:06.000 Yeah.
00:26:07.000 Who plays all that weird yacht rock.
00:26:10.000 I'm going back to Florida!
00:26:11.000 And then sings his head off.
00:26:12.000 He's gotta be on coke, that guy.
00:26:14.000 He's on something.
00:26:16.000 He's non-stop.
00:26:19.000 And I didn't go in.
00:26:20.000 I just heard from James that that's what's going on.
00:26:23.000 I'm like, three strikes, you're out.
00:26:24.000 I'm not going there.
00:26:25.000 Yeah, I would've passed.
00:26:26.000 That would've been a hard no.
00:26:27.000 Can't do it.
00:26:28.000 Not gonna do it.
00:26:29.000 Would've been a hard no.
00:26:30.000 To which and to whom, Mrs. Zoom?
00:26:34.000 Man.
00:26:36.000 Uh, let's... We don't often cover actual news. 1.00
00:26:40.000 During this shit? 0.99
00:26:41.000 But let's just for fun, we were talking about this with Kumi on Wednesday, have a look at some of these mascots ignoring kids. 1.00
00:26:49.000 Because it seems like bullshit to me that a racist would work at Chuck E. Cheese or Sesame Place and be like, look, I like being a giant furry guy, but I'll tell you what, when these goddamn little piccolinis and these negrets come up to me, I ain't touching them for shit. 1.00
00:27:10.000 Even though I got giant fur hands and I wouldn't really be touching him. 0.99
00:27:14.000 I don't want him around me.
00:27:15.000 I ain't no furry pedo. 1.00
00:27:17.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:27:18.000 Get them the fuck away. 1.00
00:27:19.000 Why are they even allowed at Sesame Place? 1.00
00:27:21.000 I want an all white Sesame Place.
00:27:24.000 So obviously we know what's going on here.
00:27:26.000 No one believes that for a second.
00:27:28.000 Not even the parents.
00:27:29.000 But they see a lawsuit.
00:27:31.000 So they go, I don't know.
00:27:33.000 Who knows how much money I get.
00:27:34.000 This could be 14 million dollars.
00:27:37.000 Do you know how many grits that is?
00:27:42.000 That's a lot of money.
00:27:43.000 You can get rich with shrimp then.
00:27:45.000 What's this black? 1.00
00:27:49.000 Okay, so stop. 0.95
00:27:50.000 Stop.
00:27:51.000 So I took my kids on a Disney cruise when my daughter was that age. 0.97
00:27:55.000 You got to line up for a fuck ton of time to talk to these women. 1.00
00:28:01.000 And then you see them and they move on. 0.85
00:28:03.000 And when it's time for them to go, they get ushered away. 0.75
00:28:05.000 It looks like this black chick showed up at the 11th hour demanding that she get a pic. 1.00
00:28:10.000 But we'll see. 0.93
00:28:11.000 They have a tight skedge.
00:28:12.000 They got a very tight skedge.
00:28:16.000 Can't see it.
00:28:17.000 Yep.
00:28:18.000 Can't see it.
00:28:21.000 They got a normal name.
00:28:27.000 How's it spelled though?
00:28:33.000 P X 4 3 dash umlaut at symbol.
00:28:37.000 Guys on the left there look a little old to be getting autographs.
00:28:42.000 Well, you gotta be careful who you mock with these things.
00:28:45.000 Cause you can be dealing with a special needs dude.
00:28:47.000 Oh, right, right, right. 1.00
00:28:48.000 So you're like, ha, you fucking fag loser. 1.00
00:28:50.000 And then he's like, I don't agree with you. 1.00
00:28:53.000 And you're like, oh no, what have I done?
00:28:57.000 He might be special.
00:28:59.000 Go to the back.
00:29:03.000 Okay, got a picture.
00:29:05.000 There y'all go.
00:29:05.000 You waited in line.
00:29:09.000 Wait, what about us?
00:29:10.000 Yeah, she's done her shift.
00:29:12.000 Believe it or not, you showed up late.
00:29:15.000 She walked off when she saw y'all.
00:29:16.000 Just like the Elmo.
00:29:18.000 Just like the Elmo.
00:29:21.000 Excuse me, ma'am.
00:29:22.000 You waved at everybody except for them.
00:29:25.000 What is with that accent?
00:29:26.000 Ain't this what the Sesame- Excuse me, sir, just walking with the princess.
00:29:30.000 Sesame?
00:29:31.000 She waved at everybody except for them. 0.98
00:29:34.000 Sesame?
00:29:34.000 We don't understand you, ma'am.
00:29:36.000 Is there a way we can scroll back and hear that bizarre new language?
00:29:39.000 I cannot.
00:29:40.000 Y'all see this? 0.96
00:29:44.000 Yeah, the Elmo walked past all the black kids. 1.00
00:29:48.000 Oh great, and show that in your children. 0.99
00:29:50.000 Meanwhile, she's hanging out with black kids she bumped into.
00:29:53.000 Elmo did not walk past any children.
00:29:55.000 That was my friend Telly.
00:29:58.000 That was who, sorry Elmo?
00:29:59.000 My friend Telly.
00:30:01.000 He's a different color.
00:30:02.000 Telly.
00:30:03.000 Telly.
00:30:04.000 And is Telly a boy or a girl?
00:30:06.000 Telly's a boy.
00:30:08.000 But you can be whatever you wanna be.
00:30:11.000 But was Telly a racist boy?
00:30:17.000 Oh, so now it's coming out.
00:30:19.000 So there is some truth to these stories.
00:30:22.000 A lot of these guys are racist.
00:30:24.000 One time he took Elmo aside and he said, Elmo, look over there in the Sesame Park. 0.95
00:30:30.000 There's one, two, three.
00:30:34.000 Never.
00:30:36.000 He said that to Elmo.
00:30:38.000 Oh my god, okay. 0.99
00:30:39.000 So I was coming at this in a very cynical sort of a, this is bullshit, this is lawsuit stuff. 0.98
00:30:45.000 But we just spoke to a member of the Sesame Place family, a guy named Elmo, who speaks out of below his mouth, he speaks out of a hole in his chin. 0.98
00:30:52.000 Yeah.
00:30:53.000 And his contention is that, yeah, some of them are pretty bad.
00:30:57.000 So you sure it was Telly?
00:31:00.000 No.
00:31:02.000 Yeah, it's the pink one in the top.
00:31:04.000 Telly looks like he had the end card.
00:31:07.000 Telly's got a very big nose.
00:31:08.000 Telly can see it!
00:31:10.000 Telly's Jewish, clearly. 1.00
00:31:11.000 That looks... That looks like a Hasidic Jew. 1.00
00:31:14.000 He's saying oy vey in that picture.
00:31:15.000 Oy vey! 0.99
00:31:16.000 What?
00:31:17.000 With the little kids?
00:31:18.000 I can't even see them!
00:31:19.000 So what?
00:31:19.000 I ate some shrimp.
00:31:20.000 I'm a little bit... I'm still angry about Crown Heights and what was going on with the... I should've stayed home!
00:31:24.000 They call themselves the Black Hebrew Israelites!
00:31:27.000 I don't agree!
00:31:28.000 Oh yeah, that's... Alright, let's do 3-5.
00:31:30.000 This might be the same one.
00:31:38.000 This is the OG.
00:31:40.000 This is what started the whole thing.
00:31:42.000 Meh, I didn't get what I want, so it's race. 1.00
00:31:44.000 Meh.
00:31:47.000 Remember that fun game I taught you?
00:31:48.000 Pretend you're black for a day, and pretend that everything you see is a slight, and you will be shocked at how many things can be interpreted as anti-you because of your race.
00:32:03.000 Cabs will go by.
00:32:05.000 People will move their chair when you sit down.
00:32:09.000 There's a whole myriad of things that have nothing to do with you or your race that you can interpret as that if you have this myopic obsession with everything being about you and your race.
00:32:20.000 Wait, this is a new one.
00:32:22.000 I don't think I've seen this one.
00:32:24.000 What is this?
00:32:25.000 This trend?
00:32:26.000 You don't like me enough.
00:32:37.000 He wasn't putting his hand up.
00:32:39.000 Yeah. 0.73
00:32:41.000 I mean, they're dancing around that black girl. 1.00
00:32:43.000 By the way, the black girl's not participating. 0.99
00:32:48.000 Not every single one of them. 0.62
00:32:49.000 Wait, let me watch that again.
00:32:51.000 Oh, cool.
00:32:52.000 I'm allowed to.
00:32:56.000 Like, one walks off, but I don't see where the slight is.
00:32:59.000 Yeah, let's see the slight.
00:33:02.000 I love you little white girl.
00:33:03.000 That kid's spinning around.
00:33:04.000 You can see the kid's hand in the shadow.
00:33:08.000 Yeah.
00:33:09.000 Doing a high-five.
00:33:10.000 The black kid in the blue is doing his own thang. 1.00
00:33:13.000 Right.
00:33:13.000 Are they saying that you walk by the girl in the orange dress?
00:33:18.000 Like that's who was slighted?
00:33:19.000 Or... I don't even understand their argument with that one.
00:33:23.000 But that's... find me the telly one.
00:33:26.000 Does that not work because you're kicked off Instagram?
00:33:29.000 These guys are effectively hurting our show by killing my producer's accounts.
00:33:34.000 Yeah, I tried to make another account too, so that way I have it for the show and I can't.
00:33:38.000 They know it's me.
00:33:39.000 Well, here, Matty can set you up.
00:33:41.000 Alright, cool.
00:33:41.000 And then maybe you can go to the next one.
00:33:43.000 Ignorance child.
00:33:46.000 Well, that was Legoland, so you got the Legoland one. 0.85
00:33:49.000 I did not understand the Legoland one.
00:33:51.000 Do you know the password?
00:33:54.000 Oh, this one, okay.
00:33:55.000 I think this is the...
00:33:56.000 That's not Telly.
00:33:57.000 That's, um, Zoey.
00:34:00.000 Ugh, it's so embarrassing that you know these names.
00:34:02.000 I was a kid and I went to the- they had Zoey when I was a kid.
00:34:05.000 But how do you remember that?
00:34:05.000 Yeah?
00:34:07.000 It just came to me.
00:34:08.000 I mean, when you're a kid, there's five things.
00:34:10.000 There's Spider-Man, Elmo, and Zoey.
00:34:13.000 No.
00:34:15.000 Oh, yeah. 0.96
00:34:17.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.78
00:34:18.000 How do you remember it? 0.95
00:34:20.000 Well, I don't remember the name of everyone there.
00:34:21.000 I remember the name of the venue.
00:34:24.000 But they're not international. 0.99
00:34:28.000 So look at this guy just excited to get a fucking paycheck. 0.99
00:34:32.000 Thanks man. 1.00
00:34:35.000 So the only question I have is how much of this shit do you believe? 1.00
00:34:43.000 Go back to that black father. 1.00
00:34:46.000 Is that a thing? 0.98
00:35:17.000 That we used to be slaves in them lands.
00:35:20.000 Slaves! 0.94
00:35:25.000 Okay, what's going on here?
00:35:27.000 Trying to log in.
00:35:28.000 It's not letting me log in now.
00:35:29.000 Try the one underneath it.
00:35:30.000 There's two of them.
00:35:34.000 I'll do that in a second. 1.00
00:35:35.000 The only time we do a new segment on the live show, it's the fucking shitshow. 1.00
00:35:40.000 Black Panthers. 0.99
00:35:53.000 Educator and broadcaster Will Mega, who's quoted in the flyers, is not involved in organizing the shutdown.
00:35:59.000 He's asked the Pennsylvania Human Rights Commission to investigate Sesame Place.
00:36:04.000 While he supports an economic boycott, he's urging people to leave the guns at home.
00:36:09.000 I think our children have been traumatized.
00:36:12.000 Leave the guns at home?
00:36:13.000 Don't kill... What's her name, Ryan?
00:36:16.000 Zoe. 0.86
00:36:17.000 Don't kill Zoe.
00:36:18.000 I understand you're mad, but don't shoot the person in the suit.
00:36:23.000 Please, let's have a moment of peace. 0.99
00:36:25.000 Clearly, we talked about this before, what happened here is she high-fived the tall person and then went, shit, I wasn't supposed to do that because of COVID. 0.94
00:36:34.000 I'm not supposed to high-five people. 0.98
00:36:36.000 It was a reflex when the other person put their hand up.
00:36:41.000 So then when the other two girls do it, she's like, sorry, I can't do high-fives. 1.00
00:36:44.000 It's a thing.
00:36:47.000 I might be able to hug you.
00:36:49.000 But I can't do high fives.
00:36:50.000 That's a metaphor! 1.00
00:36:52.000 Shoot him in the pocket! 1.00
00:36:53.000 Uh... 0.99
00:37:09.000 Not a good choice of words, but... Go to Chuck E. Cheese. 0.96
00:37:12.000 So don't shoot, don't shoot that mascot in the head. 1.00
00:37:15.000 Shoot him in the crotch. 1.00
00:37:17.000 To the right of their pelvis. 1.00
00:37:19.000 Another mascot is accused of racism.
00:37:21.000 Mom rushes to claim costume worker at New York's Chuck E. Cheese.
00:37:24.000 New Jersey Chuck E. Cheese. 0.99
00:37:25.000 Have you ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese around the Bronx and shit? 0.99
00:37:28.000 Never. 1.00
00:37:29.000 It's all Mexicans and Muslims. 0.98
00:37:32.000 It's not that black. 0.99
00:37:34.000 And Muslims with, like, the burqa thing, the whole deal. 1.00
00:37:38.000 The hijab? 0.95
00:37:39.000 The hijab.
00:37:40.000 Burqa? 0.83
00:37:41.000 Well, it's crazy.
00:37:43.000 You know how they say new immigrants come to an area like the Lower East Side and then they work hard and they slowly move out to the suburbs? 0.97
00:37:49.000 New immigrants come to Chuck E. Cheese and slowly work their way out. 1.00
00:37:55.000 So what did this Chuck E. Cheese guy do wrong?
00:37:58.000 This mouse.
00:37:59.000 Yeah.
00:38:00.000 That should be, uh...
00:38:03.000 3-7, yeah.
00:38:04.000 Alright, so what do you do here?
00:38:06.000 Kids jumping up and down.
00:38:07.000 Huh.
00:38:11.000 What happened?
00:38:13.000 Am I blind?
00:38:15.000 Maybe you are allowed to, I don't know.
00:38:17.000 Yeah ma, hey! 1.00
00:38:33.000 Saw that, right?
00:38:35.000 Look, right here.
00:38:36.000 White girl gets a hug. 1.00
00:38:39.000 Black girl, ick. 1.00
00:38:41.000 She gets a hug. 0.99
00:38:42.000 Maybe they've had problems with the parents. 1.00
00:38:43.000 Be like, what the fuck you doing hugging my baby, pervert ass motherfucker? 1.00
00:38:46.000 Probably. 1.00
00:38:47.000 Yeah.
00:38:47.000 Also, I don't know what he can see.
00:38:50.000 Those big fucking heads, they got that mesh inside. 1.00
00:38:50.000 I know. 1.00
00:38:54.000 Yeah.
00:38:54.000 He feels a hug and he's like, that seems like a hug.
00:38:57.000 Okay.
00:38:57.000 Hi, how are you?
00:38:59.000 But here, like, think of the allegation.
00:39:02.000 How's it going?
00:39:03.000 Yo, you work at Chuck E. Cheese?
00:39:05.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:39:06.000 Been a lot of them black kids running around. 1.00
00:39:08.000 Dude, it fucking sucks! 1.00
00:39:11.000 Tell you what though, I hug the white kids, I try to make my time, but I will never go through one of them negroes. 1.00
00:39:16.000 I will never touch him, I swear to God. 0.99
00:39:19.000 You swear on your life, Cletus!
00:39:21.000 That... I do, I swear to God, I don't touch him!
00:39:25.000 I would never ever... Why would a racist take that job? 0.94
00:39:25.000 Ick! 0.94
00:39:30.000 You dummies. 0.99
00:39:34.000 And then, so, this is blowing up, and everyone's petrified of getting sued. 0.92
00:39:39.000 So now we have Toy Story,
00:39:42.000 Disney, Pixar, cucking through the roof, petrified of getting caught.
00:39:47.000 And Ryan, you should be petrified of this not loading because you didn't figure out how to handle getting banned yet.
00:39:57.000 You know what?
00:39:58.000 Stop.
00:39:58.000 Stop.
00:40:00.000 Go back to the beginning of this because this is gloating.
00:40:05.000 Woody is making sure Jesse doesn't get canceled next and then a laughing emoji.
00:40:10.000 So what I'm getting from Grindface, my favorite hood account, is we knew it wasn't racist. 0.99
00:40:17.000 We was just fucking with you. 0.98
00:40:19.000 We wanted to freak y'alls out. 1.00
00:40:20.000 It's the new Puerto Rican lottery.
00:40:22.000 So now they're laughing and gloating that they changed the dynamic.
00:40:26.000 And this is what I always said about white people's fear of racism. 0.93
00:40:30.000 They shoot at white people's feet and white people start dancing. 0.99
00:40:34.000 And it's embarrassing. 1.00
00:40:35.000 Just say, you know what, the mascot was obviously not trying to fucking avoid anyone. 0.96
00:40:40.000 The mascot works with kids. 0.95
00:40:42.000 In 2022, they're not going to be deciding which kids they don't want to touch.
00:40:46.000 And it certainly won't be based on race. 0.92
00:40:48.000 So that's a ridiculous allegation and we're ignoring it. 0.86
00:40:50.000 Instead, what do they do? 0.73
00:40:51.000 They issue statements and apologies and they tell their staff. 1.00
00:40:55.000 If you see any black kids, trip over yourself to go hug them, or we're all dead! 1.00
00:40:59.000 See, it's so quick. 0.99
00:41:01.000 Like, a couple months ago, they were all behind Disney, and Disney was behind all the LGBT, all these people. 1.00
00:41:07.000 Now at their turn... Yeah, it doesn't pay off.
00:41:09.000 Capitulation doesn't pay off. 1.00
00:41:10.000 Just ignore these assholes. 1.00
00:41:12.000 Because they don't even believe it. 1.00
00:41:14.000 The parents complaining about racism in these scenarios, don't believe it for one second.
00:41:19.000 They just want a paycheck.
00:41:21.000 And they don't believe it because it's not true, and they can tell what's true. 0.98
00:41:25.000 So let's see Woody here fucking cuck his face off, trying not to be part of this mythical trend. 0.98
00:41:38.000 Jessie! 1.00
00:41:40.000 Jessie! 0.95
00:41:43.000 Don't worry, I'll get her.
00:41:45.000 Don't worry.
00:41:45.000 I'll get her.
00:41:47.000 I know you're black. 1.00
00:41:48.000 Here, let me run over here. 0.99
00:41:48.000 Don't worry. 0.99
00:41:49.000 Jessie, please, please. 0.79
00:41:51.000 And then she runs over. 0.99
00:41:54.000 I don't want to get in shit! 0.99
00:41:55.000 I don't want to get fired! 0.99
00:41:56.000 I love you!
00:41:57.000 I love you!
00:41:58.000 Okay, you're great.
00:42:06.000 What was Ryan's joke?
00:42:07.000 Well, that's the music that should be playing.
00:42:10.000 Because it's the sad Toy Story music.
00:42:10.000 Oh.
00:42:13.000 I don't get your joke.
00:42:16.000 Well, it's just like, I don't know, it feels like strange things are happening to me.
00:42:16.000 Again.
00:42:22.000 He's on a roll.
00:42:23.000 You're like a senior citizen. 0.84
00:42:32.000 You're like Shecky Green. 0.97
00:42:34.000 That's funny.
00:42:35.000 Or Foster Brooks or Jackie the Jokeman but without the jokes.
00:42:39.000 Jackie Morton.
00:42:40.000 Or without the man.
00:42:41.000 That would have been funny.
00:42:43.000 And not being Jewish. 1.00
00:42:44.000 So you're like Jackie the Jokeman if 100% of everything about him was removed.
00:42:51.000 Is Jackie Jewish? 0.56
00:42:52.000 You're like Jackie the Jokeman after a nuclear war.
00:42:54.000 Are you sure Jackie's Jewish?
00:42:56.000 Jackie Martling?
00:42:57.000 Yeah.
00:42:58.000 Martling?
00:42:59.000 No, Jackie Martling's different than Jackie.
00:42:59.000 Who knows?
00:43:01.000 I've hung out with him. 1.00
00:43:02.000 We've filmed shit with him. 0.99
00:43:05.000 I don't know if he's Jewish, my sir. 1.00
00:43:06.000 He's gotta be.
00:43:09.000 He makes lots of jokes and he has a big nose.
00:43:09.000 Martling.
00:43:12.000 True.
00:43:13.000 Case closed.
00:43:14.000 That's how it works.
00:43:17.000 Last sponsor, we're gonna go behind the paywall relatively soon. 0.99
00:43:20.000 Did I forget my fucking computer again? 1.00
00:43:23.000 Oh, for fuck's sake, son. 1.00
00:43:24.000 Oh. 1.00
00:43:25.000 God.
00:43:25.000 My.
00:43:26.000 That's three shows in a row.
00:43:28.000 By the way, tomorrow's show is pre-taped.
00:43:29.000 I'm going out of town.
00:43:31.000 And, uh, I talked about Alex Jones on it, but after we recorded it, Alex Jones was fined four million dollars for denying Sandy Hook happened.
00:43:42.000 So you can now be punished financially because of what you believe.
00:43:46.000 You can be punished financially for what you believe.
00:43:48.000 You can be punished financially for doubting something that happened.
00:43:52.000 How many 9-11 truthers are there?
00:43:54.000 How many people, how many Turks deny Armenian genocide?
00:43:59.000 The Turks killed a million Armenians.
00:44:02.000 Okay, how is that Alex Jones' problem?
00:44:03.000 Yeah.
00:44:21.000 You can't control other people and their actions.
00:44:24.000 I just sat here right now and denied that mascots at kids things were racist.
00:44:29.000 I'm denying something happened.
00:44:32.000 If people were to harass the parents of these kids, do I gotta pay them four million dollars?
00:44:37.000 You openly denied the hugger cost?
00:44:41.000 Finally a good joke!
00:44:43.000 Zing! 1.00
00:44:44.000 Jesus!
00:44:46.000 I feel like naked and afraid and I just found a grub.
00:44:48.000 Only took 45 minutes.
00:44:49.000 Oh Jesus.
00:44:55.000 You know why all your friends are gone, Ryan?
00:45:05.000 Because they're perceptive.
00:45:07.000 Yeah.
00:45:08.000 They saw the writing on the wall.
00:45:09.000 That was one of my favorite Joe Tonelli jokes. 0.99
00:45:12.000 Where, uh, remember he was getting pussy for some weird little blip in time? 0.99
00:45:15.000 Yeah, he was on a hot streak there for a few weeks. 0.99
00:45:18.000 It was literally three weeks.
00:45:20.000 And we've known him for years.
00:45:22.000 And then he was getting laid.
00:45:22.000 Really?
00:45:24.000 What?
00:45:24.000 All of a sudden.
00:45:26.000 I think they found out he shits himself and he got cancelled on all the social media apps, but whatever. 0.82
00:45:30.000 And I go, what about that chick, Karen, that was around? 0.52
00:45:33.000 What happened to her?
00:45:34.000 No comment.
00:45:35.000 And he goes, oh, didn't work out.
00:45:38.000 Didn't work out.
00:45:40.000 And I go, oh, so she dumped you.
00:45:43.000 Well, you know, neither was, you know.
00:45:45.000 And I go, uh, negative.
00:45:47.000 It must be really painful, Joe, to be dumped by someone who's clearly so perceptive.
00:45:47.000 No.
00:45:56.000 And then I go to piss, and as I'm pissing I'm like, that was a good one, G-Dog. 0.65
00:46:02.000 And then I come back out and he goes, I told you about my daughter?
00:46:06.000 What?
00:46:07.000 Yeah, she slit her wrist. 0.97
00:46:08.000 She's in the bath. 0.67
00:46:09.000 She got in the bath, slit her wrist, took a Xanax.
00:46:11.000 She's in the hospital now, Arizona Hospital.
00:46:14.000 So, you mock him, you enjoy it, and then he needs to get back into the credibility books, so he invents a dead relative, or dying relative.
00:46:25.000 And someone offered to buy a plane ticket to go right to Arizona right there on the spot, but it's credit card on the bar, I believe, right?
00:46:30.000 Well, that was for the grandson.
00:46:33.000 Who's on a respirator, who doesn't exist.
00:46:33.000 Oh.
00:46:35.000 He doesn't have a daughter, by the way.
00:46:36.000 No, I know.
00:46:38.000 Or a granddaughter.
00:46:40.000 Can we not do this, please?
00:46:42.000 Okay, sorry.
00:46:43.000 Can we not do this?
00:46:46.000 Last sponsor, Silky City Hot Sauce, the G-Sauce. 1.00
00:46:51.000 I've been sort of saving this.
00:46:52.000 It's an exciting announcement.
00:46:53.000 I have my own hot sauce, the G-Sauce. 0.72
00:46:57.000 We've sold over 150 bottles so far, and there are only 500 bottles to grab.
00:47:01.000 So... I'm gonna have to buy one.
00:47:03.000 That is basically a third have already been sold.
00:47:08.000 We're 33 bottles away from a third.
00:47:11.000 And Silk City Hot Sauce is... This is my own brand.
00:47:16.000 Don't buy these other ones!
00:47:18.000 Only buy the G-Sauce.
00:47:21.000 Is it advertised?
00:47:22.000 There we go.
00:47:23.000 The G-Sauce. 1.00
00:47:26.000 What are they going for, for a bottle?
00:47:27.000 What?
00:47:28.000 What are they going for, for a bottle?
00:47:29.000 Ten bucks.
00:47:31.000 Pull it up.
00:47:32.000 Reasonable.
00:47:33.000 Get a three pack for, what is that, 22? 1.00
00:47:35.000 Shit. 1.00
00:47:36.000 27. 0.99
00:47:36.000 G-Sauce is made by Silk City Hot Sauce. 0.99
00:47:38.000 Silkcityhotsauce.com.
00:47:41.000 Spelled exactly as you think it would.
00:47:44.000 Limited Edition G-Sauce is the signature hot sauce of GOML, featuring a blend of smoked Morita and habanero peppers, fresh melons, garlic, scallion, and sweet roasted red peppers.
00:47:56.000 It's not brutal.
00:47:57.000 The stuff does not rip your face off.
00:47:58.000 It's got a nice little sweet tang to it.
00:48:01.000 I recommend it for tacos, burritos.
00:48:04.000 I recommend it for ramen.
00:48:06.000 It is a fun thing to have it with.
00:48:08.000 It's sold... Wait, what?
00:48:09.000 Sorry, what?
00:48:12.000 Ryan, wanted to interrupt, what?
00:48:14.000 No, it was me.
00:48:14.000 I don't know.
00:48:15.000 I don't know.
00:48:17.000 It is a solid medium heat, slightly sweet and smoky sauce.
00:48:21.000 Perfect for eggs, chicken, steak and breakfast tacos, which is what we designed it for.
00:48:27.000 The G-Sauce is available at SilkCityHotSauce.com.
00:48:30.000 Use my discount code GAVIN for 15% off.
00:48:34.000 Buy a single bottle for $10 or buy a three pack for $22.
00:48:39.000 These things are flying off the shelf.
00:48:40.000 Silkcityhotsauce.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off your order of the G-Sauce.
00:48:46.000 We have more sauces coming.
00:48:48.000 We currently have a Christmas sauce being developed with Silk City Hot Sauce.
00:48:51.000 Stay tuned.
00:48:52.000 Silkcityhotsauce.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off.
00:48:57.000 Maybe a certain guy with a cooking show.
00:48:59.000 Can I propose something?
00:49:00.000 I'm going to buy a couple of three-packs.
00:49:03.000 You don't have to buy them.
00:49:04.000 I'm going to ask you to sign them and we can auction them off and donate the money to Max and John.
00:49:10.000 That's a great idea.
00:49:12.000 I love it.
00:49:13.000 Let's do it.
00:49:14.000 And Miami Mike must be watching because he just hit me up on the phone and says I want a three pack.
00:49:19.000 Okay.
00:49:21.000 I'll get a case sent down.
00:49:23.000 We'll do some freebies.
00:49:28.000 Without further to do, let's hit the mailbag and start taking calls.
00:49:36.000 And we're not going to cut off the free part yet.
00:49:39.000 I don't think the free part should be the first half hour anymore.
00:49:41.000 There's too much to get to.
00:49:44.000 So let's do the thanks for calling interstitial, and then we can start taking calls.
00:49:50.000 And then we'll also do the mailbag interstitial, and then we'll start taking mail.
00:49:56.000 You are on the air.
00:49:58.000 I'm here to have a conversation. 1.00
00:50:00.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00
00:50:02.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00
00:50:05.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?
00:50:07.000 You have one thing.
00:50:08.000 Thank you for calling.
00:50:09.000 It was great hearing from you.
00:50:10.000 Bye-bye!
00:50:11.000 All right, next call.
00:50:13.000 Bye-bye!
00:50:14.000 I've been saying that nonstop about everything.
00:50:17.000 Yep.
00:50:18.000 It's great.
00:50:20.000 Hey, there's a Ferentimor lizard that's going extinct in Japan.
00:50:25.000 Bye-bye!
00:50:26.000 Home to Mommy!
00:50:27.000 That's right.
00:50:31.000 So my grandmother's done with her vacation. 0.63
00:50:33.000 She's heading back home.
00:50:34.000 Bye-bye!
00:50:36.000 Bye-bye.
00:50:36.000 So are you guys out of here?
00:50:38.000 Are you leaving?
00:50:39.000 Looks like you already paid your check.
00:50:41.000 Bye-bye!
00:50:42.000 I'm out of here.
00:50:43.000 Bye.
00:50:44.000 Home to Mommy.
00:50:46.000 She probably likes you.
00:50:47.000 Bye-bye.
00:50:48.000 Bye, everybody.
00:50:50.000 It's insane.
00:50:54.000 He's a Sesame Street character. 0.99
00:50:58.000 I hope he isn't mean to black kids. 0.96
00:51:01.000 That was right out of Sesame Place. 0.98
00:51:03.000 Amazing.
00:51:03.000 Wow.
00:51:05.000 Wow.
00:51:06.000 Wow.
00:51:08.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.
00:51:10.000 Talking about Big Bird, obviously.
00:51:13.000 Enough.
00:51:14.000 Please.
00:51:17.000 Um, so yeah, now the phone lines are open.
00:51:19.000 We'll let those accumulate.
00:51:20.000 We also have the super chat where we take money for Max and John.
00:51:26.000 There should be a column though, Ryan, don't you think?
00:51:30.000 Like other super chats.
00:51:31.000 We can, Maddie and I can be split to a third of what we are.
00:51:35.000 Yeah.
00:51:35.000 And then there can be a, just a column that's going up rather than you having to frame each one and put them up and it covers our face.
00:51:41.000 That's, that's half assed and shitty. 0.98
00:51:43.000 That's annoying. 0.98
00:51:46.000 Isn't that how like those twitch things work? 0.99
00:51:48.000 Yeah it should be like the twitch shit. 0.89
00:51:49.000 It's all on the right. 0.90
00:51:50.000 It should be twitchy.
00:51:51.000 I've never really been on that so I don't know.
00:51:54.000 Do you ever play video games?
00:51:55.000 No.
00:51:57.000 I haven't played video games since ColecoVision and television and the original Atari.
00:52:02.000 Yeah.
00:52:03.000 When did you last play video games Ryan?
00:52:06.000 Um... Last night.
00:52:07.000 No.
00:52:08.000 Certainly not.
00:52:09.000 Um... I don't remember.
00:52:11.000 Last it was... I think Hitman.
00:52:14.000 I played the demo for this game Hitman. 0.97
00:52:17.000 It's like you're a sneaky guy and you have to kill... You're a sneaky guy. 0.77
00:52:22.000 How long ago? 0.97
00:52:23.000 It was like, uh, it only let you play like 30 minutes.
00:52:25.000 By the way, he's furiously working on his bangs, and the camera's not even on him.
00:52:29.000 Yeah, they look odd today.
00:52:30.000 But, the question was, how long ago?
00:52:32.000 I understand.
00:52:33.000 I'm just telling you, while this question goes, he's at a hair salon.
00:52:36.000 Before we moved.
00:52:38.000 So, two weeks ago?
00:52:40.000 Something like that.
00:52:40.000 Are you ready to showcase your new bangs you just fluffed?
00:52:43.000 No, they're not ready yet.
00:52:44.000 Well, let's see.
00:52:46.000 I'd rather not.
00:52:46.000 No, do it.
00:52:48.000 They're not ready.
00:52:49.000 This is the Kill Ryan episode. 1.00
00:52:52.000 Fucking show your fucking face. 1.00
00:52:56.000 Happy. 1.00
00:52:58.000 You have hurt me today.
00:52:58.000 Because I'm not.
00:52:59.000 You are herpes. 0.98
00:53:01.000 I have Ryan's. 0.99
00:53:06.000 Uh...
00:53:08.000 So yeah, let's get the Super Chat set up.
00:53:10.000 We don't have to read the $5 ones.
00:53:13.000 We read the $100 ones for sure.
00:53:15.000 You left them out of the Hot Young Conservatives for some reason.
00:53:18.000 Morgan Zegers and Brett Cooper.
00:53:22.000 Female Ben Shapiro.
00:53:24.000 Oh, I remember Brett Cooper.
00:53:25.000 Yeah, she's... She's attractive. 1.00
00:53:29.000 Morgan Zegers I don't really remember.
00:53:31.000 She's the one with the funny nose. 1.00
00:53:34.000 Not sure. 0.97
00:53:34.000 I gotta say, I fucked up by sleeping on Amanda Milius and Ashton Witte, but I didn't miss a lot of them. 0.97
00:53:44.000 She's very nice. 0.98
00:53:45.000 She's a beautiful young lady.
00:53:47.000 I don't feel like I'm a loser for not having her in the hottest chicks in the new right.
00:53:52.000 And Bette Cooper, I feel the same way.
00:53:55.000 Wonderful gal. 0.88
00:53:56.000 Solid seven.
00:53:58.000 I had to do the ten most scorching hot new right chicks. 1.00
00:54:03.000 Was Tommy Lahearn on there?
00:54:05.000 No, because what has she done for me lately?
00:54:09.000 It had to be modern.
00:54:11.000 I did mention Tommy.
00:54:12.000 We had a whole, like, Gilfs and Milfs section.
00:54:15.000 And that's why Amanda Milius got let off, because she's slightly older. 1.00
00:54:19.000 She's not a mom, but I was like, does she really fit in with, like, the Isabellas and the Gina Carbone and all these other young girls?
00:54:28.000 But she's definitely, I mean, if I had to choose a wife, I'd probably start with Amanda Milius. 0.99
00:54:32.000 Who's that one on Gutfield?
00:54:33.000 Kat?
00:54:34.000 Or something with the glasses?
00:54:35.000 Kat Timpf.
00:54:37.000 Yeah, I'm not... Something about her.
00:54:38.000 I'm not feeling it at all.
00:54:39.000 No?
00:54:40.000 I could dig that.
00:54:41.000 The glasses seem fake.
00:54:42.000 I don't know.
00:54:44.000 I know her well.
00:54:45.000 You have that image in your head of girls with glasses. 1.00
00:54:49.000 Yeah.
00:54:50.000 I've never been sexually attracted to her in any way, shape or form.
00:54:55.000 I don't know why.
00:54:56.000 Maybe because when I met her, she had a boyfriend and I was hoping that they would get back together.
00:55:00.000 I mean, sorry, they would get married and stuff.
00:55:02.000 So I came at her as like the dating guy. 0.99
00:55:07.000 Not that I would have fucked her if she wasn't doing that. 1.00
00:55:09.000 She looks better with dark hair. 1.00
00:55:14.000 Yeah, I know.
00:55:17.000 And this is just one guy. 0.98
00:55:19.000 I'm sure there's a hundred dudes jerking off right now, freaking out. 0.94
00:55:22.000 I'm not saying that I'm correct. 0.94
00:55:23.000 To us?
00:55:25.000 I'm just saying, yeah.
00:55:27.000 I'm just saying that, uh, this is my personal opinion.
00:55:30.000 Yeah?
00:55:31.000 Mic's on, fellas.
00:55:32.000 We got calls, and we've got calls in a really big way.
00:55:35.000 We got 206 here on the Licks.
00:55:37.000 Go ahead, 206.
00:55:40.000 Hey, Gavin.
00:55:41.000 Uhuru.
00:55:41.000 Uhuru.
00:55:44.000 Hey, so, comedically, who is funnier?
00:55:47.000 Nick Mullen or Sam Hyde?
00:55:49.000 Thanks for calling.
00:55:51.000 Sam Hyde.
00:55:53.000 Gavin, have you ever discussed with him or considered giving Tommy Robinson a show? 1.00
00:55:57.000 Dude, are you fucking retarded? 1.00
00:55:59.000 How many of these messages are we gonna get? 1.00
00:56:03.000 You think Tommy Robinson is clamoring to get a show on my network and I'm like, meh, I don't know, no. 1.00
00:56:12.000 Obviously, I would eat a mile of shit just to get to his ass. 1.00
00:56:17.000 Same with Sam Hyde, same with anyone. 1.00
00:56:21.000 And, you know, 0.83
00:56:22.000 Like I was talking earlier about some fantasy where we made this super network that had Daily Wire and Compound and The Blaze and all this shit. 0.76
00:56:31.000 Everyone has that fantasy.
00:56:33.000 It's not possible.
00:56:35.000 You'd have to pay like Ben Shapiro a billion dollars to make this super network.
00:56:42.000 And even then it would fall apart and fragment.
00:56:45.000 I might be able to get Alex Stein, maybe, but that's just because he's a fan of mine.
00:56:50.000 But this whole idea of, like, you should get the Rolling Stones to play your birthday party.
00:56:54.000 Thanks for the tip.
00:56:56.000 That would be cool. 1.00
00:56:57.000 Hitler was a jerk as a Norm Macdonald bit. 1.00
00:56:59.000 I believe he was talking about a, um, mass murderer. 1.00
00:57:04.000 And I came out with Hitler was a jerk in 2008. 0.99
00:57:07.000 In fact, it was a street carnage shirt. 1.00
00:57:10.000 So, yeah.
00:57:13.000 I can prove I came out with that before him.
00:57:15.000 Hundred dollar super chats get read.
00:57:18.000 Can you please explain in detail the method slash technique for making a boy?
00:57:22.000 My buddy's about to have his fourth girl and desperately needs your help.
00:57:25.000 Chris.
00:57:26.000 Okay.
00:57:27.000 Let's do it.
00:57:28.000 Doggy style.
00:57:32.000 We had a leg day at the gym the other day and my legs aren't what they used to be.
00:57:39.000 So, and my knee hurts from being thrown from that Jeep.
00:57:43.000 Look, it's all bruised up too.
00:57:47.000 Look at that.
00:57:50.000 It looks like it hurts.
00:57:52.000 It's not bad now.
00:57:56.000 You want a little cheese with that wine?
00:57:58.000 I've never heard that one before.
00:58:01.000 Quit your greeting, son!
00:58:02.000 So this is normal doggy style, right?
00:58:06.000 And you go in a normal amount.
00:58:08.000 And it's good because it doesn't feel too great.
00:58:11.000 So you can usually last longer than you want.
00:58:14.000 The problem with the plunge
00:58:19.000 is it feels too good because you're going soup to nuts, balls to nuts, pubes to nuts, balls to nuts.
00:58:27.000 You're going balls deep to nuts.
00:58:31.000 So it goes way too deep to last, right?
00:58:35.000 If you're doing this,
00:58:37.000 You're going like, vroom, it's going right up into her throat. 0.98
00:58:40.000 Now that's bad for lasting, but it's great for sperm, because sperm has to be dropped off right at the front door. 1.00
00:58:46.000 So you fuck her in standing doggy, you do the deep plunges, and then when you jizz, you hold it there until, like, the pubes are meshed together and your fucking nuts are, like, up her ass. 1.00
00:58:59.000 And then... Then when you're done, 1.00
00:59:07.000 You fill her up with the jizz. 0.98
00:59:10.000 And you hold it there, deep, deep, deep as you can. 0.96
00:59:12.000 And then you don't pull out.
00:59:14.000 You fall forward onto her like a collapsing lawn chair.
00:59:20.000 And then you still hold it there.
00:59:23.000 So you jizzed, you're still squatting.
00:59:25.000 1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000, 4, 1,000.
00:59:26.000 Then you fall down with her.
00:59:34.000 You're both collapsed lawn furniture and then still it's 1 1,000, 2 1,000, 3 1,000, 4 1,000, 5 1,000, 6 1,000, 7 1,000, 8 1,000, 9 1,000, 10 1,000, 11 1,000, 12 1,000, 13 1,000.
00:59:40.000 15 seconds.
00:59:50.000 Now you can pull up and lie on your back.
00:59:53.000 Does she have to go in a corner and do a handstand for like 30 minutes? 1.00
00:59:56.000 No, you already took care of all that.
00:59:57.000 Alright.
00:59:58.000 The boys are at the front door.
00:59:59.000 My next kid, I'm gonna try that.
01:00:07.000 Alright, should we take a call?
01:00:08.000 Yep.
01:00:09.000 Sure.
01:00:10.000 631, you're on the run.
01:00:11.000 Go ahead there, Long Island.
01:00:15.000 What do you say to this?
01:00:15.000 Frank Rizzo, how's it going?
01:00:17.000 Frank Rizzo?
01:00:17.000 What's up, Frank Rizzo?
01:00:18.000 Frank Rizzo, open your fucking ears, jackass! 1.00
01:00:22.000 Man, oh man! 1.00
01:00:25.000 Okay, we're ready.
01:00:25.000 What do you got?
01:00:26.000 Do you recognize the voice?
01:00:28.000 Yeah, Frank Rizzo.
01:00:29.000 Yeah, you were the mayor of Philadelphia for a while? 1.00
01:00:31.000 Ah, get the fuck out of here. 0.98
01:00:34.000 We're gonna race cars for 18 years, alright? 0.99
01:00:36.000 Can you drive a truck?
01:00:40.000 What's that? 1.00
01:00:40.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:00:42.000 Can you drive a truck? 1.00
01:00:43.000 Let me get to my question here.
01:00:45.000 The whole Chuck E. Cheese thing.
01:00:47.000 You ever think about the possibility that the person works there?
01:00:50.000 Possibly to work in the cahoots?
01:00:52.000 You ever think about that?
01:00:57.000 It's all a scandal.
01:00:59.000 I set everybody up just to make a bunch of million dollars, alright?
01:01:02.000 I like the way you think, sir.
01:01:04.000 You can't figure it out for yourself.
01:01:07.000 That's a good angle I never thought of. 0.82
01:01:11.000 But the problem with that is, if the guy in the suit is black, that's gonna come out. 1.00
01:01:16.000 And doesn't that kill their case? 1.00
01:01:18.000 Yeah, no shit! 1.00
01:01:20.000 Who else works at Chuck E. Cheese but the black people? 1.00
01:01:22.000 Come on! 0.99
01:01:23.000 Okay, so why would Chuck E. Cheese settle if the alleged racist is a black man? 0.73
01:01:31.000 Well, they're all brothers. 1.00
01:01:32.000 I mean, come on, what the fuck are we talking about here? 0.99
01:01:33.000 Yeah, I don't think they would out them as black. 0.99
01:01:35.000 They wouldn't be like... Or... Well, they would out them as black if they're looking at paying $14 million. 0.98
01:01:42.000 I guess the lawyer would have to ask what color they are.
01:01:44.000 Yeah, it's all divided amongst the whole neighborhood.
01:01:45.000 I mean, it's pretty easy to recognize, huh?
01:01:47.000 Yeah, sorry Frank, your story just fell apart.
01:01:50.000 I mean, what do you think you could possibly get from that?
01:01:53.000 A million bucks.
01:01:54.000 What are the damages?
01:01:55.000 A million bucks.
01:01:56.000 Really?
01:01:57.000 Sure.
01:01:58.000 Here's the problem with all lawsuits.
01:02:01.000 It goes to the jury.
01:02:02.000 The jury hates you.
01:02:03.000 They love fighting racism and they overcompensate. 1.00
01:02:08.000 Like, um, fucking, uh, uh, Alex Jones. 0.99
01:02:13.000 Alex Jones was wrong about Sandy Hook. 0.99
01:02:16.000 Okay, take me to wrong jail.
01:02:19.000 But the jury hates him.
01:02:22.000 We'll talk about this on tomorrow's show.
01:02:24.000 I have a feeling.
01:02:25.000 And there's so much vitriol from the left towards Alex Jones.
01:02:29.000 I think it's because he's successful and right-wing and that really pisses them off.
01:02:33.000 And they can't hurt him because he's been cancelled and barred and
01:02:37.000 New York City cockroach. 0.98
01:02:39.000 Can't kill him. 0.99
01:02:39.000 Yeah, why can't I destroy Alex Jones? 0.99
01:02:47.000 So now that he's got this thing they're like their whole thing is like you'll have fun in jail and of course the raping in jail. 0.73
01:02:54.000 Hey Trump don't bend over for the soap.
01:02:57.000 Yeah but you don't you would never go to jail for a civil suit.
01:03:00.000 Well what they think is that he'll incriminate himself by committing perjury in the civil suit and then they'll have a new trial.
01:03:07.000 Right for my defense I changed my mind.
01:03:11.000 I no longer have that thought.
01:03:13.000 Ryan, don't skip over this question again. 0.96
01:03:15.000 Is the retard coming with you when you move to South Carolina, or are you abandoning him just like his father did? 0.99
01:03:21.000 Oh, I thought you were talking about me. 0.98
01:03:24.000 Well, this is hard because, once again, the baby monsters have some sort of grammar deficiency.
01:03:34.000 Ryan, comma, don't skip over this question again, semi-colon. 0.97
01:03:39.000 Gavin, is the retard coming with you when you move to South Carolina? 1.00
01:03:44.000 Like, obviously he doesn't mean Ryan. 0.70
01:03:46.000 So you start out the question with Ryan, and then you change the subject with a couple of dashes. 1.00
01:03:52.000 Fuck you! 1.00
01:03:54.000 And yes, Ryan would be coming with me. 1.00
01:03:55.000 What else is he gonna do?
01:03:56.000 Join the military? 1.00
01:03:58.000 I'm drawing the damn... Wait, what is it? 1.00
01:04:01.000 Military school with the goddamn Finkelstein shit, kid. 1.00
01:04:05.000 Remember that from Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke? 1.00
01:04:07.000 Nope.
01:04:08.000 Whaaat?
01:04:08.000 Can't say that anymore.
01:04:09.000 I haven't seen Up in Smoke since 1979.
01:04:11.000 Oh, for Frick's Pete.
01:04:14.000 Uh, I don't think Matty's coming though, is he?
01:04:16.000 I have no ties to New York now.
01:04:18.000 Really? 0.99
01:04:19.000 Oh shit, party! 1.00
01:04:21.000 What about your whole heart shit? 1.00
01:04:24.000 I travel for doctors. 1.00
01:04:25.000 They got doctors on there.
01:04:27.000 South Carolina's not far.
01:04:29.000 Wow.
01:04:30.000 Cheaper to live.
01:04:32.000 I always assumed you had this.
01:04:34.000 I've been planning for the last couple of years because believe it or not, it's a big month this month.
01:04:39.000 The 30th of August, I'll be five years diagnosed with my heart condition.
01:04:42.000 74% of the people that get my condition are dead by now.
01:04:46.000 So I'm ahead of the game.
01:04:48.000 This is all gravy.
01:04:49.000 Yeah, it's all gravy now.
01:04:52.000 So, like I said, my son, when I was younger, my son, I wanted to get for him to graduate high school and stuff like that.
01:04:58.000 Be around.
01:04:59.000 But now he's 27.
01:05:00.000 He's going to Florida or Rhode Island.
01:05:03.000 I was thinking about Virginia because I got family there.
01:05:05.000 My older brother and I have friends there.
01:05:07.000 But, I don't care.
01:05:10.000 Meet Virginia.
01:05:11.000 Is your son gonna hook up with that chick that he was dating? 1.00
01:05:14.000 Yeah, they're still going together.
01:05:16.000 It's funny, they were at my house last night.
01:05:18.000 He went to Vegas today.
01:05:20.000 I was kind of mad at him.
01:05:21.000 He goes, yeah, I just got back from the city.
01:05:22.000 I had to get a suit made.
01:05:25.000 I go, you got a custom suit made?
01:05:27.000 He goes, yeah.
01:05:28.000 I go, why didn't you tell me?
01:05:30.000 Yeah, we could have done it with Gina Fashion.
01:05:32.000 Right!
01:05:33.000 He's in a wedding party.
01:05:34.000 Dude, you have a custom shipment in New York.
01:05:35.000 It's like five grand.
01:05:37.000 Well, it wasn't that much.
01:05:38.000 He went on the cheap side.
01:05:39.000 He's Scottish.
01:05:40.000 Right.
01:05:40.000 He's a true Scotsman.
01:05:41.000 He squeaks when he walks.
01:05:43.000 But he's left for Vegas today.
01:05:46.000 He comes over to borrow money.
01:05:48.000 Well, I told him it's his birthday money.
01:05:49.000 He goes, yeah, I got a Ford GT500 reserved and a Lamborghini Huracan when I get there.
01:05:58.000 To rent?
01:05:59.000 Yeah, to drive while he's out there.
01:06:00.000 I didn't even know you could rent those.
01:06:02.000 Yeah.
01:06:03.000 It's probably something ridiculous like $2,000 a day, 50 cents a mile.
01:06:06.000 Yeah. 0.69
01:06:07.000 My son's not too bright, but he loves cars.
01:06:09.000 But yeah, he was pissed off. 0.98
01:06:11.000 I was like, you should have fucking told me you needed a custom suit. 0.98
01:06:14.000 I said, there's a sponsor on the show. 0.99
01:06:16.000 I would have told you to go to Nita Fashions.
01:06:19.000 But it's too late now.
01:06:20.000 Have you ever ridden in a Lamborghini?
01:06:22.000 I've been in them.
01:06:24.000 The guy we started the garden stores with, he had a Huracan.
01:06:30.000 They're a nightmare.
01:06:31.000 They're terrible.
01:06:32.000 You're basically lying on the ground.
01:06:35.000 You could probably drive under most cars. 0.99
01:06:37.000 And every bump is a pain in the ass, literally. 0.99
01:06:41.000 It's very unpleasant. 0.99
01:06:42.000 Not a car to have in New York.
01:06:43.000 No.
01:06:44.000 Maybe out in the desert.
01:06:45.000 Yeah, maybe in the Bonneville Salt Flats or in Dubai.
01:06:48.000 That's what I told him.
01:06:49.000 Don't kill yourself in the cars that you rent.
01:06:55.000 Let's do an email.
01:06:56.000 Oh wait, let's end this.
01:06:58.000 So we've talked to people on the phone.
01:07:00.000 We've shown the thingamadoodles.
01:07:02.000 You probably get the idea with the mailbag, right?
01:07:07.000 Let's do one mailbag and then we'll say goodbye.
01:07:08.000 Should we mention the shows?
01:07:10.000 Yep.
01:07:12.000 We just did the, we put the lower third down there.
01:07:14.000 Oh, you put the bumper up?
01:07:14.000 Yep.
01:07:14.000 I think some people need to hear that.
01:07:17.000 Tinyurl.com, censored live.
01:07:19.000 We've got a New York date now in November.
01:07:21.000 We've got Vegas coming up September 10th.
01:07:24.000 We've got Dallas, what's that, September 23rd or 24th. 0.96
01:07:28.000 Lots of exciting shit coming up with these comedy shows. 0.95
01:07:32.000 Don't be scared, be there. 0.98
01:07:35.000 So let's do one call and then we'll, I mean, sorry, one letter, Ryan.
01:07:39.000 Make sure it's purple.
01:07:41.000 We've got one letter all set up.
01:07:45.000 It's just a picture.
01:07:49.000 Kick Proud Boys out of your neighborhood.
01:07:51.000 It's funny because that was obviously a reinterpretation of like a Nazi thing.
01:07:55.000 Yep.
01:07:56.000 But it's a really good drawing.
01:08:01.000 Well done.
01:08:02.000 And it's it's funny because that was probably made like during the punk years.
01:08:06.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:08:07.000 To as a fuck you to Nazis, which is like my culture and Proud Boys are my culture. 1.00
01:08:11.000 So you took my culture and turned it in on itself. 1.00
01:08:14.000 Fuck you. 1.00
01:08:16.000 And get fired. 1.00
01:08:17.000 Get in trouble.
01:08:18.000 Be brave.
01:08:19.000 And never stop fighting.
01:08:42.000 Violent protests over a speaker on campus here. 1.00
01:08:45.000 Fuck you, Normie. 1.00
01:08:46.000 He is apparently a Canadian writer, actor, comedian. 1.00
01:08:49.000 He's the co-founder of Vice. 1.00
01:08:50.000 Go fuck another vagina, you gross pigs. 1.00
01:08:53.000 Serious XF pulling the plug on Anthony Cumia this week. 1.00
01:08:56.000 You got big fucking tits. 1.00
01:09:05.000 I watched that, and I said, this chick's too retarded to fuck. 1.00
01:09:08.000 You shouldn't do it. 1.00
01:09:09.000 They take anything you say, and then fucking twist it around. 0.98
01:09:13.000 This is the part of Seth that's going to get real mean before I leave. 0.99
01:09:20.000 Wow.
01:09:21.000 No more.
01:09:23.000 Filthy. 0.78
01:09:24.000 You can't.
01:09:26.000 They think we want to tell those kind of jokes.
01:09:28.000 Tom, coming back.