Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #161

00:00:37.000 Born to run by Bruce Bingstein.

00:00:39.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:03:07.000 So this is the same problem we had last time we had multiple guests, right?

00:03:10.000 Yeah, now it's back.

00:03:12.000 We lost audio for a second there, folks.

00:03:14.000 I have a feeling we're going to be losing it again, right?

00:03:19.000 Possible.

00:03:19.000 It's possible.

00:03:20.000 Do you have that override thing that caused the last problem?

00:03:23.000 We're keeping an eye on it, and the last fix has worked again.

00:03:27.000 So that's good.

00:03:28.000 So we have consistency, at least.

00:03:30.000 I'm dubious.

00:03:31.000 So that Silk Sauce read, I think we need to redo.

00:03:36.000 Well, how much did we lose of it?

00:03:38.000 Good question.

00:03:41.000 I think the full thing, let's do the full thing.

00:03:42.000 Yeah, I just got it back that it's fixed.

00:03:45.000 Okay, got it back then.

00:03:47.000 So just to remind you folks that SilkCityHotSauce.com, spelled exactly as you think it is, SilkCityHotsauce.com, is out of the G-Sauce.

00:03:58.000 Unfortunately, that's the bad news.

00:04:00.000 It sold out in two weeks.

00:04:02.000 The good news is we've got five new sauces at SilkCityHotSauce.com, where the promo code Gavin gets you 15% off every order.

00:04:10.000 I'll read it backwards now.

00:04:11.000 Sauce 5, Maddie's getting a sauce.

00:04:14.000 And Silk City Hot Sauce wants to hear your suggestions.

00:04:18.000 Sauce 4, Ryan's getting his own sauce.

00:04:20.000 Sauce 3 is a deadly sauce called Ghost, where listeners can submit artwork for the ghost sauce made with ghost peppers.

00:04:27.000 So we'll leave that open to you to create.

00:04:30.000 And then sauce two, it ain't easy to be in G. It's going to be a little sweeter.

00:04:34.000 And sauce one, of course, is the G Spot.

00:04:36.000 That's the original.

00:04:37.000 I guess we're recreating it, right?

00:04:38.000 No, no, no.

00:04:39.000 G Sauce was the original.

00:04:40.000 G Spot's a new one.

00:04:42.000 So thank you for supporting SoakCityHotSauce.com.

00:04:44.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:04:45.000 15% off every order.

00:04:47.000 That includes our signature sauces.

00:04:49.000 These are all collector's items.

00:04:51.000 Let us know what sauce you like best.

00:04:53.000 Let's make more of it for you.

00:04:56.000 Okay.

00:04:58.000 Gavin gets you 15% off every order.

00:05:00.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:05:01.000 SoakcityHotSauce.com.

00:05:03.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:05:05.000 Now I feel like we're walking on eggshells, Ryan.

00:05:08.000 Because this could go at any moment.

00:05:10.000 Did we get the introductions to Maddie and...

00:05:14.000 I think we visually got them, but let's make sure we verbally got them.

00:05:17.000 We have Maddie Odell.

00:05:18.000 In the house.

00:05:19.000 Good to see you guys.

00:05:20.000 Okay, so I guess I should pull my phone out and have it here for when people text me things are going wrong.

00:05:27.000 Because last time this was a problem, we had too many guests and the system got overridden, which is not good.

00:05:34.000 The system should be able to handle that.

00:05:37.000 And then we got Syl.

00:05:39.000 Sylvia's here.

00:05:40.000 Do we...

00:05:41.000 I had a little bumper because I thought that we would have multiple female guests here, but I think Syl is good enough, obviously.

00:05:49.000 But would you want to see what it would be like?

00:05:51.000 Yeah, every time we ask Sylvia for her opinion, we're going to go...

00:05:55.000 Hey, ladies!

00:05:56.000 Did you know that I never did?

00:06:03.000 Is this in a foreign country, Israel?

00:06:08.000 Here's a dumb question.

00:06:09.000 What continent is Israel in?

00:06:13.000 Asia.

00:06:14.000 Asia, yeah.

00:06:16.000 No, it's not in Europe.

00:06:18.000 I thought it was Africa.

00:06:21.000 It's in the South Bronx.

00:06:24.000 You got to hold the microphone up to your mouth a little more.

00:06:27.000 South of the border.

00:06:29.000 There we go.

00:06:29.000 There are Jews in Mexico.

00:06:33.000 I know one.

00:06:34.000 What a Mexican.

00:06:36.000 the USA.

00:06:37.000 So I was just in the car with Sylvia, and she told me that my local bartender secretly hates my guts and thinks I'm a Nazi, and the only thing he likes about me is my wallet.

00:06:48.000 Oh.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:06:51.000 That hurts.

00:06:52.000 Damn.

00:06:52.000 So I thought we should give him a call.

00:06:54.000 Sure.

00:06:56.000 I'm not your bartender.

00:06:57.000 I don't.

00:07:00.000 Let's see.

00:07:07.000 Can you hear that okay?

00:07:08.000 Audio still working?

00:07:10.000 Can you tell when the audio's out?

00:07:12.000 Yeah, I have a visual thing here that I'm going to keep my eye on before I had a notification from our tech guy who's on top of it.

00:07:20.000 Sylvia, feel free to chime in.

00:07:22.000 What?

00:07:23.000 During this call.

00:07:25.000 Because he's going to deny it.

00:07:29.000 Will he hear her?

00:07:33.000 If it's speakerphone and she talks loud enough, then yes.

00:07:41.000 Alright.

00:07:42.000 Dang it.

00:07:46.000 I'm just going to say, dude, you said proud boys are Nazis?

00:07:54.000 And the only thing...

00:07:56.000 Why would he say it to her knowing I'm about to pick her up?

00:08:00.000 What I like about me is my wallet.

00:08:05.000 Question mark?

00:08:09.000 Let's see what transpires with that.

00:08:10.000 You know how this show goes every week, folks?

00:08:13.000 We take calls.

00:08:15.000 We check the mailbag.

00:08:19.000 We have a live chat, which we got to improve the live chat.

00:08:22.000 I want the live chat just to be going up this side of the wall the whole show.

00:08:27.000 The fact that you have to keep clicking on it and bring it up, that's retarded amateur hour, don't you think, Ryan?

00:08:33.000 Yeah.

00:08:34.000 So why don't we do that?

00:08:36.000 Why isn't it like other super chats where it just appears?

00:08:42.000 All of those, all the money from the super chats, I think we've raised like three grand so far, I'm not sure, goes to Max Hare and John Kinsman, who are serving four years for beating up Antifa after they picked a fight.

00:08:54.000 They got into a 17-second fight with those fucking rich kid losers here in New York.

00:09:00.000 We've tracked down a bunch of them since the fight.

00:09:03.000 And they're like, they're people who summer, they're trans people who summer in the Netherlands.

00:09:09.000 That's the kind of people they are.

00:09:12.000 And they picked a fight by throwing bottles of piss at these two proud boys.

00:09:16.000 Proud boys kick the shit out of them.

00:09:19.000 Antifa said, we don't want to press charges.

00:09:21.000 But the state pressed charges.

00:09:24.000 That's a new one.

00:09:25.000 I've heard of that with domestic abuse.

00:09:26.000 I never heard about that with street fights.

00:09:28.000 But they're serving time for that now, so we want them to have a bunch of money when they get out.

00:09:32.000 It won't be crazy.

00:09:35.000 We don't read $5 super chats out loud, but they appear.

00:09:39.000 But the $100 ones, we guarantee they will be read out loud.

00:09:42.000 And here's a great shirt that's available on the site now.

00:09:46.000 It is.

00:09:46.000 What happened in Vegas?

00:09:48.000 Question mark.

00:09:50.000 I'm kind of impressed, Ryan.

00:09:52.000 Thanks, dude.

00:09:53.000 Kind of impressed.

00:09:55.000 Happy to hear it.

00:09:55.000 And yeah, you can get it on the shop tab of the website.

00:09:58.000 Yeah, the print came out really good.

00:10:00.000 It's a direct-to-garment print.

00:10:01.000 It feels like what I wanted it to, which is a souvenir.

00:10:05.000 Like you're in Vegas, you get a souvenir, and they're asking a good question of what the fuck happened?

00:10:10.000 I love those kind of questions.

00:10:11.000 Like the pipe bomb on January 6th.

00:10:14.000 Right.

00:10:15.000 That got dropped.

00:10:17.000 We've got 100 million hours of video of Patriots behaving badly.

00:10:23.000 But what about, and there was a, wasn't there a pipe bomb outside the DNC and the GOP headquarters?

00:10:30.000 Or what about that weird dude who was smashing windows that day?

00:10:36.000 Remember him?

00:10:37.000 Ray Epps-looking dude?

00:10:39.000 Yeah.

00:10:39.000 Who was wearing all black and he had a black umbrella, I think, or maybe not.

00:10:43.000 And he was smashing windows of businesses back when everyone was trying to keep it cool.

00:10:48.000 Wasn't that on...

00:10:49.000 That wasn't Gen 6, was it?

00:10:51.000 Remember the guy?

00:10:52.000 I feel like there was a guy that was doing that.

00:10:54.000 I don't think that was Gen 6.

00:10:55.000 That was George Floyd.

00:10:57.000 During the George Floyd.

00:10:59.000 Look it up.

00:11:00.000 Mystery Man smashing windows.

00:11:02.000 He had the gait of a cop.

00:11:04.000 He walked like a cop.

00:11:05.000 He acted like a cop.

00:11:07.000 All this shit.

00:11:08.000 Their shit's always brand new when they're feds.

00:11:11.000 Nothing's broken in.

00:11:12.000 That's one thing about Antifa.

00:11:13.000 You can tell they're authentic because their clothes are completely shredded.

00:11:17.000 The denim has so much human skin in it, it looks like leather.

00:11:23.000 You can't smell a photograph, but you almost can with Antifa.

00:11:27.000 But with these feds, it's always a brand new Nazi flag with folds in it and brand new cargos.

00:11:33.000 Yeah, umbrella man.

00:11:39.000 He was a white supremacist trying to...

00:11:42.000 Of course, the Washington Post take is that this fed is a Nazi.

00:11:46.000 But where were they at?

00:11:52.000 Minneapolis.

00:11:53.000 No.

00:11:54.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:11:55.000 Not shallow.

00:11:56.000 May 27th protest after George Floyd's death.

00:12:00.000 So this might be a point for the left where they have feds trying to spark riots, I guess, to make the left look bad.

00:12:12.000 But anyway, whatever happened with him.

00:12:14.000 Or I just saw Steve Bannon was saying, hey, Ray Epps, remember when you were suggesting everyone storm the Capitol on January 5th and baked Alaska and everyone was going, Fed, Fed, Fed, Fed, Fed.

00:12:29.000 And then we have footage of you whispering into everyone's ear that day?

00:12:33.000 Where's your trial?

00:12:35.000 Why aren't you in prison?

00:12:36.000 Why didn't the FBI storm your fucking compound?

00:12:41.000 Very fishy business.

00:12:45.000 It's a different America.

00:12:47.000 Yeah.

00:12:48.000 So the reason everything is free today is that we have sponsors who pay for it.

00:12:54.000 But eventually, between half an hour and an hour in, we go behind the scenes.

00:13:01.000 And what the fuck?

00:13:02.000 Behind the scenes.

00:13:03.000 Behind the paywall.

00:13:04.000 Behind the paywall.

00:13:05.000 This glamorous tabloid background is confusing me.

00:13:08.000 And then that's just for people who are willing to pay $10 a month to get unlimited content.

00:13:15.000 We do two hours a day, every day.

00:13:17.000 At least, that's just me.

00:13:19.000 We also provide all kinds of other people, Jim Goad.

00:13:23.000 We've got Josh LaCash.

00:13:25.000 We've got Soph.

00:13:26.000 We've got Atheism is Unstoppable.

00:13:29.000 Endless.

00:13:30.000 I don't think you should watch all our content.

00:13:32.000 I'm the only network that says, don't take it all in.

00:13:37.000 You need to have a life.

00:13:39.000 Maybe you should take it all in if you're a carpenter and you're working on projects all day and it's just on in the background.

00:13:45.000 But to sit down and truly take it in, I don't think you should do much more than my show and maybe some Sunday shows.

00:13:55.000 Plus, we jam-pack it with so much footage and other shit that to just have it on the background, it's not radio, this is video.

00:14:02.000 You'll notice that with Tucker, when you're looking at your phone, you have to constantly pause and go back because you miss something fundamental.

00:14:11.000 Did you know Dave Bracke from Gore?

00:14:13.000 He was on Reddit.

00:14:14.000 Yeah.

00:14:15.000 I opened for Gore with my band Leatherass ButtFuck.

00:14:18.000 And I think I seduced, almost seduced, the female in the band.

00:14:22.000 She invited me back to the tour bus.

00:14:25.000 And as I'm sitting on the tour bus, Dave Bracky comes in and he goes, who the fuck was that shitty opening band?

00:14:36.000 Holy shit, they sucked.

00:14:38.000 And I'm like, guilty as charged.

00:14:44.000 Wow.

00:14:44.000 Okay, we're trying to iron out the kinks.

00:14:47.000 There's definitely some hurdles we got to get over and trying to get better as a band.

00:14:52.000 Work in progress.

00:14:53.000 Yeah, we're still trying to get there, trying to get to the gore levels.

00:14:58.000 It was a drum machine.

00:15:00.000 Our band had a drum machine.

00:15:02.000 And then two guitarists and me.

00:15:03.000 So the sound guy was often very confused, and it didn't sound great occasionally.

00:15:09.000 You know, I come from a punk rock school, and I stand in solidarity with the revolutionaries of the world.

00:15:14.000 I'm dedicated to the destruction of the multinational Globo Corporation.

00:15:19.000 I'm into bands like MDC, Millions of Dead Cops, you know?

00:15:23.000 And that's what I came up on.

00:15:24.000 We're not making shit and breaking shit.

00:15:26.000 That's what I came up on.

00:15:26.000 Bands like Black Flag.

00:15:28.000 Okay.

00:15:28.000 It's like everything now.

00:15:30.000 Dude, you can't be normal with that face on.

00:15:33.000 It's just in the fact that when you go to shows.

00:15:36.000 You got to say like, we are for total destruction and annihilation.

00:15:40.000 You can't talk about like capital gains tax and various hardcore bands are influenced by.

00:15:49.000 You know what I remember about those dudes?

00:15:53.000 They were calling their families.

00:15:55.000 They were getting older.

00:15:56.000 When we opened for them, it was probably 1992.

00:16:02.000 And they'd been around for a while.

00:16:04.000 And you could, these bands, after they've gone through their initial honeymoon phase, when they get back to the hotel or even the tour bus, they're just calling their families going, yeah, we're back.

00:16:15.000 It went fine.

00:16:16.000 I miss you guys like crazy.

00:16:18.000 Fuck am I doing here?

00:16:20.000 Touring is a young man's game.

00:16:22.000 And I remember I got so wasted back at their hotel.

00:16:25.000 I wasn't fucking anyone.

00:16:28.000 This happens almost every time I go back to a hotel with a band.

00:16:31.000 I just remember a roadie picking me up when I'm blackout drunk, taking me in the hallway and just going, whoosh.

00:16:37.000 And I'm thrown out as a drunken buffoon.

00:16:42.000 One time with the strokes, I was being thrown out and I still had my tape recorder on.

00:16:47.000 And I could hear myself say the most embarrassing drunken shit.

00:16:51.000 I was like, hey, what?

00:16:52.000 Are you crazy?

00:16:53.000 Get your hands off of me.

00:16:54.000 Look at me.

00:16:55.000 I can't feel my left arm.

00:16:56.000 My hair's all blown out.

00:16:59.000 That's what it says on the tape.

00:17:00.000 I want to hear that so bad.

00:17:02.000 Does that exist?

00:17:03.000 I mean, it's on a micro cassette somewhere.

00:17:05.000 I bet I have it.

00:17:07.000 But what had happened was I fell asleep in a weird position, so my left arm was flopping around.

00:17:11.000 And the reason I was saying my hair's blown out is because I was probably like sleeping in a weird position.

00:17:16.000 I fell asleep on their stage.

00:17:19.000 I was sitting there and watching the band.

00:17:21.000 I was reporting on it for NME.

00:17:22.000 I fell asleep on their stage, but not like way off to the edge, like near Albert Hammond Jr.'s feet.

00:17:29.000 So you're watching a band and there's just a guy asleep on the stage.

00:17:35.000 That's kind of metal.

00:17:36.000 That's kind of various.

00:17:37.000 It means the person is too old to be reporting on rock and roll.

00:17:41.000 It was not Lester Bangs or the dude in that movie who's super young.

00:17:45.000 You know that movie where he's following the band around?

00:17:48.000 Almost famous?

00:17:49.000 Yeah.

00:17:50.000 Again, young man's game.

00:17:52.000 Hi.

00:17:55.000 Sylvia is looking like a fine piece of ass.

00:17:58.000 Will a $500 donation get me any kind of perks with her?

00:18:02.000 Perks with the big ass Asian gal in the booth.

00:18:07.000 Ryan is not a gal.

00:18:08.000 I think the mustache should have made that clear.

00:18:11.000 But if you want, are you talking about sexual favors with Sylvia for money?

00:18:16.000 That's illegal.

00:18:18.000 Yeah, we do not endorse sexual favors for money, sickos.

00:18:22.000 We do endorse everything to be free and fun-loving.

00:18:26.000 Yep, that's a good attitude.

00:18:28.000 When you attach money to it, it kind of takes the pleasure out of it.

00:18:34.000 I agree.

00:18:35.000 At that point, it's just like, why not just use a sex doll?

00:18:38.000 Yeah.

00:18:38.000 Like, she doesn't like you.

00:18:40.000 You don't like her.

00:18:40.000 It's sort of like with prostitutes, they want you to wear a condom on your penis.

00:18:44.000 And you're like, that's what I'd do if I had to suck a piece of frozen shit if I lost a bet.

00:18:50.000 Which we did do right here on this show.

00:18:52.000 We sucked off a piece of frozen shit in the condom.

00:18:54.000 So if your penis is to a woman the same as a frozen piece of shit, you guys are not having a sexual exchange.

00:19:03.000 Yeah.

00:19:03.000 You know, it's almost like going on a trip.

00:19:06.000 You're on a train trip, but there needs to be a piece of plexiglass between you at all times.

00:19:12.000 We're not really hanging out.

00:19:14.000 There's some horny ass viewers today.

00:19:16.000 Yeah.

00:19:17.000 It blocks everything.

00:19:19.000 You know what we do endorse, though?

00:19:20.000 We do endorse Shell Shock CBD.

00:19:23.000 In today's crazy world, quality sleep and much-needed relaxation can be hard to come by.

00:19:27.000 Enter Shell Shock CBD, the nation's fastest-growing veteran-owned CBD and Delta 8 supplement company.

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00:19:49.000 They also offer sample packs of all their gummies as well as their all-new CBD energy sticks and Delta 8 THC chocolate bars.

00:19:58.000 Not chocolate bars, but chocolate bars.

00:20:01.000 Shell shock products are 100% grown, harvested, and manufactured right here in America.

00:20:05.000 All products are also third-party tested to ensure optimal quality is always achieved and transparency is always given.

00:20:12.000 Go to shellshockcbd.com.

00:20:18.000 We've got to make lower thirds for these URLs.

00:20:20.000 Slash Gavin and use codes Gavin or GOML for 10% off your order.

00:20:27.000 Be sure to follow them on Instagram.

00:20:29.000 And the Instagram account is called at Shell Shock Wellness.

00:20:35.000 Have you ever done CBDs?

00:20:39.000 Sylvia, do you even know what they are?

00:20:41.000 Yeah, of course.

00:20:43.000 Have you ever had them?

00:20:44.000 Gummies?

00:20:46.000 No, it didn't really interest me, not even today.

00:20:50.000 There's so many natural things that can keep you happy and flowing.

00:20:58.000 Like what?

00:21:01.000 Good question.

00:21:02.000 The sun, the rain.

00:21:04.000 These are natural, though.

00:21:05.000 The moon.

00:21:05.000 These come from the earth.

00:21:06.000 These are natural, but I will agree with Sylvia that they cannot compete with the sun and the rain and the moon.

00:21:11.000 No, no, no.

00:21:12.000 But once you get over the sun, the rain, and the moon, you're looking for more than just what's the sun?

00:21:18.000 Is it a planet?

00:21:19.000 It's a star.

00:21:20.000 And then the moon, I think, is, is that a planet?

00:21:23.000 Is that just a fragment of Earth or something?

00:21:25.000 A moon is a moon, I believe, right?

00:21:27.000 Right.

00:21:27.000 And then the rain, that's just excessive condensation in the sky, I guess.

00:21:33.000 It's a very difficult condensation.

00:21:36.000 Very much so.

00:21:38.000 But besides that, Shell Shock CBD.

00:21:42.000 Dude, I've been eating the shit out of these.

00:21:44.000 Dude, I wasn't on CBD, but I usually am.

00:21:47.000 I've tried this new thing, not getting shit-faced.

00:21:50.000 Wow.

00:21:51.000 Yeah.

00:21:52.000 Your workout's better in the morning.

00:21:55.000 You sleep better.

00:21:56.000 And your dreams are more urgent.

00:21:58.000 Well, I should say they exist.

00:22:00.000 Like, last night, we're being invaded by aliens.

00:22:04.000 I put on this Optimus Prime suit with a helmet.

00:22:08.000 And then I had these Doc Martin boots with shin pads.

00:22:11.000 I was ready to fight the aliens.

00:22:13.000 And then my parents fucking went and hid my boots because they didn't want me fighting the aliens.

00:22:17.000 That's an effective way.

00:22:18.000 And I'm like, where the fuck are my boots?

00:22:20.000 And they go, I don't know.

00:22:22.000 And I go, I need my boots.

00:22:24.000 Get them back here.

00:22:25.000 And one was hidden there, one was hidden there.

00:22:26.000 So I got them back on.

00:22:27.000 And I'm sitting with my gun.

00:22:29.000 And one of the aliens, they were in a giant traffic jam of spaceships.

00:22:33.000 And we were all like poised to fight.

00:22:35.000 And one of them turns around on a loudspeaker.

00:22:37.000 He goes, this guy's wearing an Optimus Prime body armor that's made of plastic.

00:22:45.000 And I was like, fuck, it is actually plastic.

00:22:47.000 That's like a children's toy.

00:22:49.000 And he goes, Optimus Prime killed his nephew.

00:22:53.000 And you're wearing his gear?

00:22:55.000 I was like, I never really watched Transformers.

00:22:57.000 Did he kill his nephew?

00:22:59.000 I don't know.

00:22:59.000 I've never seen a movie.

00:23:01.000 Did you look that up when you woke up?

00:23:03.000 I didn't look it up.

00:23:03.000 No, I don't.

00:23:04.000 If fucking Optimus Prime killed his nephew, then either it's in my subconscious.

00:23:11.000 So then after that, I was like, yeah, that alien is right.

00:23:15.000 Like, if we're going to be fighting here, plastic is not going to cut it.

00:23:19.000 So I got plates, and then I have a World War II helmet here in the storage, so I got the helmet on.

00:23:24.000 I was like, now we have a bit of a fighting chance.

00:23:27.000 Fingers crossed.

00:23:29.000 But then I kept dreaming these wonderful non-alcoholic dreams.

00:23:33.000 And I think I got a message from God.

00:23:38.000 So I contacted Nick Fuentes.

00:23:40.000 And while I was asleep and just coming to, I was like, I got to contact him the second I wake up.

00:23:48.000 This is crucial.

00:23:49.000 But then when I got to work in the morning and started typing it out, I was like, this is fucking very gay and creepy to send to a young man.

00:23:59.000 But I thought, maybe God was sending me a message in my dreams, so I'm going to just plow forward with it anyway.

00:24:04.000 Did you contact him?

00:24:05.000 Yes.

00:24:06.000 No.

00:24:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:07.000 Oh, wow.

00:24:08.000 So here's what I said, and here's what God told me to say in my dreams.

00:24:11.000 Are you okay there, Sylvia?

00:24:12.000 Yeah, I'm good.

00:24:13.000 I think we're getting the.

00:24:17.000 You're going to get what?

00:24:20.000 I forgot to get her chips.

00:24:21.000 God dang it.

00:24:22.000 I don't know if we...

00:24:22.000 I know we have tortilla chips, right?

00:24:25.000 I don't think we have chips.

00:24:26.000 You're hungry?

00:24:29.000 What is your sort of cycle as far as food goes?

00:24:31.000 Because if I'd known that you were an 8.30 eater, I would have had some snacker doodles.

00:24:40.000 Anyway, so this is what I sent him.

00:24:42.000 I go, Nick, I wrote an article a long time ago called From Charney to Seagal, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, or something like that.

00:24:50.000 I forget what it's called.

00:24:53.000 In that article, I was doing these research about these frivolous lawsuits about sexual harassment.

00:24:58.000 Dove Charney went through hell.

00:24:59.000 Steven Seagal almost went through hell.

00:25:01.000 But in both those cases, they said, yeah, fuck you.

00:25:05.000 We're not settling.

00:25:07.000 Because I talk to a lot of lawyers in LA with actors and stuff.

00:25:10.000 And what they do is they just go, here's 40 grand.

00:25:14.000 Please fuck off.

00:25:16.000 Like the dude from Bones, you know that crime show Bones?

00:25:20.000 He's a hunky guy.

00:25:22.000 And some girl was like, he jerked off in front of me.

00:25:25.000 What these people do is they just go, here's 40 grand.

00:25:28.000 I never want to see you again.

00:25:29.000 I never did that, but fuck off.

00:25:31.000 The way you get rid of that is you have people fight it, and very few do, but Dove and Segal did.

00:25:37.000 Anyway, the accusation with Segal was he was sex trafficking.

00:25:43.000 He was importing sex slaves, then using them as his personal property.

00:25:49.000 And that sounds real bad.

00:25:51.000 So you would pay 40 grand to not have that true about you.

00:25:53.000 Steven Segal goes, I'm not paying shit.

00:25:55.000 Let's go to court.

00:25:56.000 Because here's the truth.

00:25:58.000 This hot Asian chick Contacts him.

00:26:00.000 She goes, I want to be your assistant.

00:26:02.000 He's like, That sounds good.

00:26:03.000 I'm shooting a reality show in Louisiana.

00:26:05.000 You want to come down and work on the show?

00:26:07.000 And she's like, Yeah, yeah, but I have no money.

00:26:09.000 She's a useless whore.

00:26:10.000 She's been on every fucking show.

00:26:12.000 She calls herself a lipstick lesbian.

00:26:14.000 She's been on a million reality shows, half Vietnamese or something.

00:26:18.000 And so he goes, Yeah, come down.

00:26:23.000 Okay, I'll pay for your plane ticket.

00:26:25.000 Come down here.

00:26:25.000 You can start working here.

00:26:27.000 So he pays for her plane ticket.

00:26:28.000 She comes to Louisiana where he's shooting that show where he's a sheriff.

00:26:31.000 And he's like, he thinks he's Mr. Oriental Ninja Guy, right?

00:26:36.000 So he's like, on the set, in front of everyone, he goes, would you like to give, I mean, not a Reiki, but want me to give you a fucking Jiguksu massage?

00:26:43.000 No, Jesus.

00:26:44.000 And she's like, yes.

00:26:46.000 So then he starts doing his stupid shit, right?

00:26:50.000 You listening, Sylvia?

00:26:51.000 Yeah.

00:26:52.000 And she's like, whatever.

00:26:56.000 Nothing happens.

00:26:57.000 And later on, the PA, all the production people, they notice that all she does is Coke.

00:27:05.000 So they go, you got to get her out of here, dude.

00:27:06.000 I know she's pretty, whatever.

00:27:07.000 Get her fucking out of here.

00:27:08.000 She's a nightmare.

00:27:10.000 So they fire her for being a cokehead.

00:27:14.000 She then sues him and says the story is he imports these sex slaves.

00:27:20.000 So the sex was the massage.

00:27:22.000 And the fact that he paid for her plane ticket means he's human trafficking.

00:27:29.000 Oh, Lord.

00:27:30.000 So this is what my crazy dream made me say to Nick.

00:27:33.000 Dude, watch it.

00:27:36.000 They're going to get some 16-year-old, because I know you'd never hire a woman.

00:27:40.000 They're going to get some 16-year-old boy who looks 17, maybe with a beard.

00:27:45.000 He's going to say, I want to work for America first, man.

00:27:48.000 Let's get started.

00:27:49.000 I'm really eager to get started.

00:27:51.000 You're going to pay for his plane ticket.

00:27:53.000 He's going to be alone with you in a room and say you grab his dick or something.

00:27:56.000 Oh, jeez.

00:27:57.000 It's going to be your word against his.

00:27:58.000 The headline is going to be Nick Fuentes, pedophile, and don't fucking use this as a drop.

00:28:06.000 Child sex trafficker.

00:28:10.000 That'll be the front page.

00:28:11.000 You'll be vindicated, obviously, and your vindication won't even make page 63.

00:28:18.000 So, and this is going to sound crazy, but I honestly think God put this in my dream to warn Nick.

00:28:25.000 I said, don't ever pay for anyone's plane ticket, and don't ever be alone in a room with anyone without cameras.

00:28:35.000 Don't trust a fucking soul.

00:28:37.000 Trust your mom and your dad, and that's it.

00:28:39.000 Don't trust someone that you've been working with at America First for 10 years because there's massive pressure to take you down.

00:28:46.000 And I've since learned this FBI agents, one particular woman, totally devoted to destroying him.

00:28:52.000 And we've just seen what the FBI does to Trump.

00:28:54.000 They've been weaponized.

00:28:56.000 So they're looking for not a hole, not for him to like do a bump at a party or like fuck a prostitute.

00:29:03.000 They're not looking for that.

00:29:04.000 They know they're not going to get that at a Nick.

00:29:06.000 They're looking for a place where they can frame him.

00:29:09.000 And so I thought of that as a semi-loophole.

00:29:14.000 Never be alone with somebody.

00:29:17.000 FBI, you can go ahead and cancel that bearded 16-year-old.

00:29:21.000 But keep the bacon coming.

00:29:24.000 I ordered bacon also.

00:29:27.000 Oh, because the FBI gives him bacon as like a payment.

00:29:30.000 They pay me bacon.

00:29:32.000 What's the deal with Nick?

00:29:34.000 Why is he not flying out that 16-year-old?

00:29:38.000 Doesn't matter.

00:29:38.000 Want the bacon.

00:29:40.000 Can you believe Sylvia Jim Gaffigan is here?

00:29:48.000 You want to know who's funny?

00:29:48.000 I'm here.

00:29:49.000 You know my cousin who's Ringo Starr's personal assistant?

00:29:52.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 You know who he was an assistant for before that?

00:29:54.000 Who?

00:29:55.000 Stephen Seagal.

00:29:56.000 Really?

00:29:57.000 Whoa.

00:29:58.000 Yeah.

00:29:59.000 Didn't he get the Ringo Star job by saying, I don't really like the Beatles?

00:30:02.000 He's like, I know fuck all about the Beatles.

00:30:04.000 And Ringo was like, that's why I'm hiring you.

00:30:06.000 Good.

00:30:06.000 I'm the best one, by the way.

00:30:09.000 Every hardcore Beatles fan.

00:30:12.000 Clarence Clemens, the saxophone player from the Beat Street band.

00:30:15.000 Yeah.

00:30:15.000 And then he went to Steven Seagal and then to Ringo Star.

00:30:18.000 Clarence Clemens.

00:30:21.000 Did you see us talking about Obama and Spring Scene talking about Clarence Clemens?

00:30:25.000 No.

00:30:26.000 It's on their stupid fucking podcast that I want the FBI to invade.

00:30:31.000 And Obama's like, you had a black man on the stage.

00:30:36.000 And people in the audience, New Jersey, they're screaming and yelling.

00:30:40.000 And these are the same guys.

00:30:42.000 If he was at their local bar, they'd be calling him nigger.

00:30:45.000 No way.

00:30:46.000 Yeah.

00:30:48.000 And the worst part was, the boss was like, yep, that's a thing.

00:30:54.000 That's the way the world was.

00:30:56.000 Dude, if Clarence Clemens showed up to a fucking clan rally, they'd be like, this guy's pretty cool.

00:31:02.000 He's one of the good ones.

00:31:04.000 You know who hated Clarence Clemens?

00:31:06.000 Zero people on earth.

00:31:09.000 He's probably the most loved person to ever be born.

00:31:13.000 No one disliked Clarence fucking Clemens.

00:31:17.000 What?

00:31:18.000 The saxophone player.

00:31:19.000 Oh, by the way, that's why I played that Born to Run thing because I was in the car on the way when I went to pick up Sylvia.

00:31:27.000 And I was remembering doing a lot of nose beers back in the early aughts after moving to New York.

00:31:34.000 I was with my friend Sharky.

00:31:36.000 And we would take his beat-up Honda Civic, I think, to strip clubs in Long Island City and Queens.

00:31:45.000 Fox's was big back then.

00:31:47.000 Circles was a big one, but Fox's was like disgusting Puerto Ricans with long tits, which was my cup of tea back then.

00:31:54.000 Circles was more his vibe, and it was Polax.

00:31:58.000 And my problem with Russian strippers is...

00:32:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, in Greenpoint.

00:32:02.000 My problem with Russians is like, you don't know if they're sex slaves.

00:32:05.000 They smell like onions.

00:32:08.000 Telling you, all Russian strippers I ever came across smell like onions.

00:32:11.000 Really?

00:32:13.000 I don't know if it's their body odor or they're just fucking rubbing onions over them.

00:32:18.000 Fucking all those.

00:32:19.000 Like with Puerto Ricans, they're in their element.

00:32:22.000 They're from this culture.

00:32:24.000 And when I say this culture, I don't mean America.

00:32:26.000 I mean like that part of Queens or Brooklyn.

00:32:30.000 Like they're from 20 minutes away.

00:32:32.000 When someone is from the third world, and I include the Soviet Union and fucking Eastern Europe with that, Russia, I'm like, I don't know how you got here.

00:32:40.000 I don't know if you're paying off a debt to some fucking Russian coyote.

00:32:44.000 That's depressing to me.

00:32:46.000 Now you're a slave.

00:32:47.000 Slave.

00:32:48.000 Call me politically correct, but sex slavery is not a turn-on to me.

00:32:52.000 I used to date a Russian stripper from Brighton Beach.

00:32:55.000 She lives on Brighton 4.

00:32:56.000 And I would take her from the strip club and keep her for like, you know, she would come voluntarily.

00:33:02.000 But then I would get calls from the strip club like, Maddie, you got to bring her back.

00:33:06.000 They're calling asking about her.

00:33:07.000 Now, that's the million-dollar question.

00:33:09.000 Like, how much did they own her?

00:33:12.000 Is this McDonald's saying, bring back our top manager?

00:33:15.000 Or is this fucking gangsters saying, that's our property, you're overusing it?

00:33:20.000 But, yeah, she goes, oh, she goes, oh, I found out about you.

00:33:24.000 You're a bandit.

00:33:25.000 She used to call me a bandit.

00:33:26.000 I was cracking up.

00:33:28.000 So then she ended up marrying some Major League Baseball player and having a kid with him.

00:33:31.000 Oh, good.

00:33:32.000 She obviously got out of it.

00:33:33.000 That means she's relatively westernized.

00:33:36.000 Oh, by the way, the bartender also casted aspersions on you.

00:33:42.000 Clarence.

00:33:43.000 Clarence Thomas is a...

00:33:45.000 He's a mama.

00:33:49.000 Yeah.

00:33:52.000 Okay, he responded.

00:33:53.000 She's crazy.

00:33:55.000 Sylvia's crazy, Sylvia.

00:33:58.000 No fucking way.

00:33:59.000 You got to pick up the microphone there, Sylvia.

00:34:01.000 I'd expect you to know better.

00:34:03.000 Now he's mad at me, which is a good tactic if you get caught gossiping.

00:34:06.000 You're like, fuck you for thinking that would be true.

00:34:09.000 Or my other tactic is, yeah, I did say that.

00:34:12.000 You are a fat pig.

00:34:14.000 Get in shape.

00:34:15.000 You hurt me today.

00:34:17.000 She brought up money.

00:34:18.000 He cut my pay in half.

00:34:19.000 Said it's because he got dropped on social media.

00:34:22.000 He's a f- I didn't say that, but.

00:34:27.000 And then he said he's a fair guy.

00:34:28.000 If you're worth $100, you'll get $100.

00:34:30.000 As far as Prowl Boys go, she brought up you're their founder.

00:34:33.000 I said, it was good he distanced himself so he didn't have to deal with Jansex, J6 bullshit.

00:34:39.000 But what about you said that he said that the Prowboys are anti-Semitic?

00:34:45.000 You gotta pick up the mic there, so you need the mic.

00:34:51.000 You basically are a white terrorist who promotes hatred and discourse.

00:35:00.000 Yeah, can you hear me?

00:35:02.000 Yeah, I can hear you.

00:35:03.000 Oh, he hung up on you.

00:35:07.000 You know if Clarence Clemens went into that bar?

00:35:09.000 You know what they call him?

00:35:10.000 Jimmy.

00:35:12.000 Hey, can you hear me?

00:35:14.000 They call him a spook.

00:35:19.000 He's also the bartender from Withnail and I. Hello?

00:35:24.000 Hello?

00:35:27.000 I think he hung up on you.

00:35:31.000 They would call Pete Seeger a faggot after he went to the bar.

00:35:35.000 Yeah.

00:35:35.000 These same people that would go to a Prince concert, they'd be trying to lynch his brother.

00:35:40.000 You know, being a Negro.

00:35:42.000 You know, James Brown, when he was, he got a hernia.

00:35:45.000 And they had him, you know, they put a cape around him and dragged him off stage.

00:35:49.000 People in the crowd were yelling, I hope he broke his balls.

00:35:51.000 Most of these wiggers, they only pretended like rap so they could entrap the rapper and then beat him like Emmett Till.

00:35:58.000 They call Lil Wayne a spade.

00:36:01.000 I don't know if you know.

00:36:02.000 A lot of folks, they call him a jigaboo.

00:36:09.000 So the reason I play that song, though, is I keep meaning to get to this.

00:36:13.000 So we're nose beering it up.

00:36:14.000 And nose beering it up when you're like 29 and you just moved to New York City.

00:36:20.000 Full out.

00:36:20.000 And you're going to strip clubs, but like strip clubs in Montreal are great, but they're kind of too great.

00:36:27.000 Like it's a very sex-positive town.

00:36:29.000 So the girls there are not damaged.

00:36:31.000 And they're all naked.

00:36:32.000 They're all naked, and it's sex-positive, and they don't have tattoos, and they don't have three kids, and their tits don't hang to their ankles.

00:36:38.000 They're French-Canadians.

00:36:39.000 They're French Canadians, and it's a French culture.

00:36:42.000 So it's like les casual fold.

00:36:44.000 Like it's Pigal.

00:36:47.000 It's just like, do, do, do, we're out sexy ladies.

00:36:49.000 And you're like, ah, this is too nice.

00:36:51.000 I need some degradation.

00:36:52.000 Then you come to New York and they're like selling you Coke.

00:36:56.000 FTB, Bryce Reagan.

00:36:58.000 Thanks.

00:36:58.000 FTB.

00:37:00.000 For the boys.

00:37:01.000 Oh, for the boys.

00:37:01.000 Nice.

00:37:04.000 So I'm loving that.

00:37:06.000 I'm happy we moved to New York.

00:37:07.000 I wasn't making any money in Montreal.

00:37:08.000 After we moved down here, I was making tons of money.

00:37:11.000 Nose beers are fucking going crazy.

00:37:13.000 And there's one of my favorite sayings from Cormac McCarthy, the guy who did the road.

00:37:16.000 He said, there's no joy at the tavern as great as the road there too.

00:37:21.000 And the drive over the bridge to Fox's in some shitty part off like the BQE, I forget where it was, but it's like by a graveyard.

00:37:32.000 Yeah, that's one of the largest.

00:37:33.000 It's right by Maurice Avenue.

00:37:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:37:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:37:37.000 Not circles, but Foxes.

00:37:39.000 Foxes, yeah, yeah.

00:37:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:39.000 They were close to each other.

00:37:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:41.000 That fucking cemetery is huge.

00:37:43.000 It goes on forever.

00:37:44.000 I think every dead person in the world is there.

00:37:48.000 Yeah, but that's Maurice Avenue get off.

00:37:50.000 We'd be driving there from like the hipster part of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to go to there, blaring this song, and the breakdown with that one, two, three.

00:38:00.000 You got to play this, Ryan.

00:38:02.000 Because I was hearing in the car and I was like, this is one of the greatest moments of my life.

00:38:08.000 And the strip club was fine.

00:38:10.000 That was fun.

00:38:11.000 And, you know, the hipster bars we were at before, while we were getting the nose beers, that was fine.

00:38:16.000 And that was fun.

00:38:17.000 And we were talking to people and everything.

00:38:18.000 But the fucking, like, hitting the bridge so hard that the wheels come off.

00:38:23.000 And then this song is playing.

00:38:24.000 And we're screaming it, holding on to the dash, possibly with nose beers on the dash.

00:38:29.000 Dude, what a fucking great time.

00:38:34.000 What's the name of the song again?

00:38:35.000 Born to Run.

00:38:36.000 The opening song, you tard.

00:38:38.000 I know that song very well.

00:38:40.000 No wonder you ruined the fucking country.

00:38:42.000 You can't even remember a song from 42 minutes ago.

00:38:46.000 I can tell you who the saxophone player is, though.

00:38:54.000 We got the windows down.

00:38:56.000 It's kind of cold out.

00:38:57.000 The wolves are going out the window like, whoa!

00:39:07.000 Here's another thing.

00:39:08.000 Because of being alternative from 1988 to 1999, I hadn't really checked out Bruce Pringstein.

00:39:17.000 We were like too cool for mainstream rock.

00:39:20.000 So he introduced me to all these crazy bands.

00:39:23.000 Oh, there's the N-word.

00:39:24.000 Like Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen and, you know, popular rock bands.

00:39:31.000 The Who.

00:39:32.000 I guess I knew about The Who because of the mod thing.

00:39:37.000 You know, people go around saying they're called new Springsteen because they wanted to hang him so bad.

00:39:45.000 I saw him in Jersey with the same guy.

00:39:48.000 He kind of wrecked the show by pointing his bottom to the audience and going like this.

00:39:54.000 New.

00:39:55.000 As all the women screamed at him.

00:39:56.000 Jimmy said he tried to call you.

00:39:59.000 Yeah, he did 80 times.

00:40:01.000 Oh.

00:40:04.000 Okay, we'll get to Jimmy in a sec.

00:40:12.000 He's got a couple songs like this, like the record company just gave me a big advance.

00:40:16.000 Rosalita.

00:40:17.000 Yeah.

00:40:20.000 Dude, now he's calling me a hundred times.

00:40:22.000 Sylvia, you've opened a Pandora's box.

00:40:25.000 Okay, here it is.

00:40:37.000 All the anticipation.

00:40:48.000 Whoa, look at that.

00:40:51.000 It looks like grass.

00:40:59.000 He's like, what the fuck?

00:41:00.000 There's a lot of fucking people.

00:41:01.000 Is that Sanders?

00:41:04.000 Oh, hey, I guess you want to hear me play a couple?

00:41:08.000 Okay.

00:41:10.000 We're going to get to that place.

00:41:12.000 We really want to go.

00:41:15.000 Anyway, that doesn't do it justice.

00:41:16.000 Of course it doesn't do it justice.

00:41:18.000 Alright, look.

00:41:19.000 He's calling and calling now.

00:41:26.000 Sylvia.

00:41:28.000 Oh, now he's calling from the bar.

00:41:30.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:35.000 Can you hear that okay?

00:41:47.000 Mr. McGinnis.

00:41:49.000 Jimmy, I thought we were friends.

00:41:52.000 Dude, she's crazy.

00:41:55.000 Did you say the Proud Boys are anti-Semitic?

00:41:59.000 Am I here?

00:42:01.000 Maybe.

00:42:03.000 Don't you have to tell me that?

00:42:05.000 No, not in New York.

00:42:06.000 It's a one-party consent state.

00:42:08.000 Okay, well, I don't care if I am.

00:42:11.000 That's not what I said.

00:42:12.000 What I said was, you had the tag.

00:42:15.000 What I said was, it's good for you that you distance yourself.

00:42:19.000 She brought up that you were their father.

00:42:22.000 And I was like, well, he's not really associated with them anymore.

00:42:26.000 And with everything that's going on now, that's probably good for him.

00:42:29.000 But you know they're not anti-Semitic, right?

00:42:32.000 Come on, there's Proud Boys Israel.

00:42:35.000 There's plenty of Jews in every chapter, especially in New York.

00:42:40.000 Okay, well, that smacks goes out.

00:42:42.000 Well, I have lots of black friends, so I can't be racist.

00:42:45.000 Yeah.

00:42:46.000 What's the matter with that?

00:42:47.000 Look, I don't know anything about them, positive or negative, so I don't judge.

00:42:53.000 But do you think that they're anti-Semitic?

00:42:59.000 I don't know.

00:43:00.000 I really don't know.

00:43:01.000 I don't know.

00:43:02.000 Come on, man.

00:43:03.000 Do you think that they're racist?

00:43:06.000 No.

00:43:07.000 Okay, so they might hate Jews.

00:43:12.000 Well, everybody else does.

00:43:14.000 There's Proud Boys Israel.

00:43:16.000 What about the chapter in Israel?

00:43:17.000 Isn't that a deal-breaker?

00:43:21.000 You know a lot more about it than me, so is it?

00:43:24.000 But isn't that like, I hate that whole, I have tons of black friends, I'm not racist.

00:43:28.000 That sounds like a legitimate defense to me.

00:43:32.000 You hate it, but it's legitimate.

00:43:35.000 I hate it, but it's legitimate.

00:43:36.000 How can you hate black people if you have tons of black friends?

00:43:39.000 Surely your hatred doesn't run very deep.

00:43:44.000 You can be prejudiced against a group of people, but have certain ones you're like, yeah, he's black, but he's my boy.

00:43:50.000 Yeah, but then your hatred doesn't go very deep.

00:43:53.000 In fact, it's at an irrelevant level.

00:43:56.000 Well, I would hope it doesn't go deep.

00:43:58.000 Why are you racist?

00:44:00.000 Why am I racist?

00:44:01.000 Why is you?

00:44:02.000 Why is anybody?

00:44:04.000 I don't think anyone is.

00:44:05.000 I think the whole thing is a myth.

00:44:07.000 I think that...

00:44:09.000 That's fun.

00:44:10.000 What?

00:44:12.000 That's fun with me.

00:44:13.000 We can go with that.

00:44:15.000 Okay, let's go with that.

00:44:17.000 Thanks for coming on the show.

00:44:19.000 All right, bro.

00:44:21.000 We're in an impasse here, Sylvia.

00:44:23.000 He says that you're lying.

00:44:26.000 Where would I get these things from?

00:44:28.000 How would I know he did it 11 years ago?

00:44:34.000 Oh, yeah, we forgot to look in that.

00:44:52.000 Whoa, I lost vision there.

00:44:53.000 Just so you know, he has no respect for you or your beliefs.

00:44:59.000 And when you say you, you mean Maddie and I or just me?

00:45:02.000 Professor you.

00:45:05.000 You, Maddie.

00:45:09.000 You, me?

00:45:10.000 Hey, you know what I wanted to cover before we get into like mailbags and stuff?

00:45:14.000 Have you seen this shit about Britney Spears that Kevin Federline put out about what a psychotic bitch she is?

00:45:21.000 She's nuts.

00:45:22.000 I follow her on Instagram.

00:45:24.000 Yeah.

00:45:25.000 But the least nutty she is is her mothering.

00:45:28.000 So he puts up these, By the way, she's been paying his way, you know, buying his weed since he dropped hot ones in her.

00:45:36.000 Since he dropped hot ones in her, and he exposed her, quotation marks, for the horrible mother she is.

00:45:43.000 And I'm watching these, I'm ready for like, you always wanted to be me, you'll never be a rock star.

00:45:49.000 You want to cut out mommy's heart, snip, snip, snip.

00:45:52.000 Fuck you, you little faggot.

00:45:55.000 You know, like my mother would do when she was drunk.

00:45:58.000 And Kevin Federline put out these videos that they all recorded of her being a mom.

00:46:03.000 And I'm watching it going, yeah, this is a mom.

00:46:07.000 Being a normal mom.

00:46:09.000 And I'm also comparing it to my mom.

00:46:11.000 And I assume your mom, Maddie.

00:46:14.000 She might cross Mary.

00:46:16.000 I told you this the time I told her to fuck off.

00:46:20.000 No, I said, fuck you.

00:46:21.000 And she took a chair at my college and threw it a football field long and said, no, fuck you.

00:46:31.000 And it soared for two miles in the air as Asians that were in the extra study room went, oh my.

00:46:41.000 I remember one time she was a little bit.

00:46:42.000 And it was speaking their language when it fell.

00:46:45.000 They were like, wow.

00:46:46.000 They're like, my mother's a what?

00:46:49.000 My mother was a corporal punishment boy.

00:46:53.000 Oh, my God.

00:46:54.000 I remember one time she was beating me.

00:46:57.000 But I was now 14 and I had the reflexes of fucking Peter Parker.

00:47:01.000 So I was just like, blocking everyone.

00:47:06.000 And then eventually, after like 300 hits, I just held her wrists.

00:47:10.000 And she goes, oh, you're hunting me.

00:47:13.000 My mother would hit you and hurt herself hitting you.

00:47:15.000 And then she would find something to hit you with.

00:47:18.000 So she wouldn't hurt her hand.

00:47:19.000 Yeah.

00:47:21.000 And the last thing, like, how many times on this show have we sat down and went like, our mothers were fucking horribly abusive.

00:47:28.000 It was a nightmare of a childhood.

00:47:30.000 Oh, have you.

00:47:31.000 It wouldn't even occur to you to say.

00:47:32.000 I love her to die.

00:47:33.000 Have you told you stories about when they were kids in Scotland and went to school?

00:47:36.000 What the teachers would do?

00:47:38.000 Oh, my God.

00:47:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:39.000 They'd wallop you.

00:47:40.000 Oh, they'd kill you.

00:47:41.000 They had the nine tails, the rulers, everything.

00:47:43.000 Yeah.

00:47:43.000 And if you moved, it was 10 times worse.

00:47:45.000 Shit.

00:47:46.000 They got it on the knuckles with a ruler if they were left-handed.

00:47:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:51.000 That's the devil's work.

00:47:53.000 Because, like I said, my mother went to Scotland Street School.

00:47:56.000 They made it into a museum now, but they were brutal.

00:48:00.000 Brutal.

00:48:02.000 So this is supposed to be the worst mom ever, and this is a scandalous example of a mother abusing her bratty fucking spoiled kids.

00:48:14.000 You've lost your fucking mind.

00:48:16.000 Have you lost your fucking mind?

00:48:19.000 I do care, but I'm shocked as fuck with you.

00:48:22.000 And I don't know what to do.

00:48:24.000 And I'm scared of you because you're weird.

00:48:27.000 I'm scared of you because you're weird.

00:48:29.000 I'm shocked.

00:48:32.000 Her talking to her kids.

00:48:33.000 Oh.

00:48:34.000 Yeah.

00:48:34.000 So if her kid did something normal, like he was drawing a picture and it was maybe the devil or something, well then she's a psycho bitch.

00:48:42.000 Let's see what he did that made her freaked out by him.

00:48:46.000 Going through puberty.

00:48:47.000 I don't know what to say, but I do care more than you know.

00:48:51.000 But don't be, my little body can't handle all of that.

00:48:54.000 It's like sometimes I just don't even know what to say with you.

00:48:58.000 I was in shock.

00:48:59.000 And I do care.

00:49:00.000 No, you don't.

00:49:03.000 This is my mother sober as a joke.

00:49:07.000 Literally.

00:49:08.000 I was in shock in the stair and I looked down at Jamie.

00:49:11.000 How are you so cool about that?

00:49:12.000 That's a beautiful.

00:49:12.000 Your brother being with Bears, big feet, size 13 now?

00:49:16.000 Well, he's my brother.

00:49:17.000 And all the more.

00:49:19.000 Exposed?

00:49:20.000 His feet were blood and eyebrows.

00:49:21.000 Whoa, he's being punished for something.

00:49:24.000 I'm about to tell you what he did.

00:49:25.000 But the other brother is like, well, he's my brother.

00:49:27.000 I'm standing up for him.

00:49:28.000 That's how I go.

00:49:29.000 If I'm giving one of my kids shit, the other two are like, right.

00:49:34.000 Because if you chimed in, you were next.

00:49:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:37.000 I don't want to die.

00:49:38.000 So they would just be like, sucks to be you, dude.

00:49:40.000 The last thing they do is be like, why are you taking his fucking phone?

00:49:44.000 Yeah.

00:49:44.000 What are you, stupid?

00:49:46.000 You just lost your phone, motherfucker.

00:49:49.000 It's like Bender in breakfast cups.

00:49:51.000 I got you for two weeks.

00:49:53.000 Go for another one.

00:49:54.000 You want more?

00:49:55.000 You just got another two weeks.

00:49:58.000 Usually I'm familiar with the opposite where the other kids are like, I actually tried to stop him, Mom.

00:50:04.000 He's my breakfast.

00:50:05.000 Yeah.

00:50:07.000 Luckily, my kids aren't.

00:50:08.000 The pendulum had swung that way either.

00:50:10.000 But yeah, there's plenty of snitches out there.

00:50:12.000 Mom, I was going to tell you, but.

00:50:14.000 He did it actually worse than what you saw.

00:50:16.000 Oh, fuck.

00:50:17.000 He's a fucking dick, mom.

00:50:19.000 We're in a size 13.

00:50:22.000 You'll soon see why size 13 is relevant and why it's weird and why this little tiny woman, she's probably five feet tall, is freaked out and is grasping at straws for discipline.

00:50:32.000 So she took a phone.

00:50:33.000 What's she gonna do?

00:50:34.000 Beat him up?

00:50:34.000 If you got size 13 feet, you're fucking 6'5.

00:50:38.000 Shop in Alaska weather?

00:50:41.000 Don't you think that's a little odd?

00:50:43.000 No.

00:50:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:44.000 I think your phone should be gone.

00:50:46.000 Okay.

00:50:46.000 For a very long time.

00:50:48.000 Uh, yeah.

00:50:48.000 For not wearing shoes.

00:50:49.000 Yeah.

00:50:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:51.000 My phone's just gonna be taken away forever.

00:50:53.000 Because you know what, Jaden?

00:50:54.000 Mom decides to take it away for me not wearing shoes.

00:50:58.000 Jaden?

00:50:59.000 Uh-huh.

00:50:59.000 That's hilarious.

00:51:02.000 Jaden obviously thinks she's.

00:51:04.000 You want any attention, babies?

00:51:05.000 Is that why you're saying these things?

00:51:06.000 Well, apparently, I wanted to do that in the first place, but you keep interrupting every sentence I say.

00:51:11.000 So what I seem like in my mind.

00:51:13.000 What are these kids?

00:51:14.000 How are they talking to their mother like that?

00:51:16.000 My jaw would be on the floor.

00:51:18.000 It would be broken.

00:51:19.000 I don't talk to a KFC cashier like that.

00:51:21.000 I told you this story where I was listening to Billy Bragg interview in the car, and my dad goes, turn that shite off.

00:51:26.000 And I go, hey, I was listening to that.

00:51:27.000 He goes, oh, he's an asshole.

00:51:29.000 I go, you're an asshole.

00:51:32.000 We're in the gravel.

00:51:36.000 I'm out standing by the side of the highway.

00:51:39.000 Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

00:51:43.000 They're back on.

00:51:44.000 I got to cross like 60 lanes of highway, walk through four farmers' houses.

00:51:49.000 On the QEW.

00:51:50.000 On the QEW.

00:51:51.000 Eventually end up at a shopping mall, try to figure out the maps for the buses, and get home that fucking way.

00:51:58.000 This is pre-Uber.

00:52:02.000 These kids have no idea.

00:52:04.000 I think we've passed the part where what happened.

00:52:07.000 He had no shoes on.

00:52:09.000 They're in Alaska.

00:52:10.000 It's fucking freezing out.

00:52:12.000 Snow is everywhere.

00:52:13.000 And this Galoop walks clomps into the store through the snow, stands there with his giant fucking blue feet standing in a store.

00:52:23.000 And she's like, what the fuck are you doing?

00:52:26.000 You're weird.

00:52:27.000 Yeah.

00:52:28.000 I have to do some kind of punishment because that's not bad.

00:52:32.000 It's not immoral.

00:52:33.000 You didn't rape anyone.

00:52:35.000 But walking around bare feet in the snow, it's disturbing.

00:52:38.000 It makes me think you have a mood.

00:52:40.000 And by the way, I've had mental health issues.

00:52:42.000 This is Brittany talking, not me.

00:52:44.000 And I'm worried about that with you guys.

00:52:46.000 I'm worried I passed it on.

00:52:47.000 So when you act fucking crazy and walk around with barefoot in Alaska at midnight, and then when my other son is being insubordinate while I'm trying to discuss how weird this is, and now I'm the bitch, he wanted to do a two first.

00:53:05.000 No.

00:53:06.000 That's what he said.

00:53:07.000 The answer is no.

00:53:08.000 Yeah.

00:53:09.000 You cannot be barefoot in Alaska in the winter.

00:53:13.000 You cannot be naked and afraid when we go to 7-Eleven to get slurpees.

00:53:19.000 In that age, you should know better.

00:53:20.000 And that's what he put out.

00:53:21.000 You're not a boy, but you're not yet a man.

00:53:23.000 Psychotic mother?

00:53:24.000 Yeah, this is an example.

00:53:26.000 And it's funny seeing, because he put it out there, and you can tell what class of person someone is, or at least what class they grew up in, by the reactions.

00:53:34.000 Because the upper class, middle class people are like, that's fucking insane.

00:53:38.000 What a bitch.

00:53:39.000 And then everyone below 50 grand a year is like, what?

00:53:44.000 This is, they're lucky they got away with this.

00:53:47.000 I would have had my tan hided to death.

00:53:50.000 It wouldn't have been so much for wearing no shoes.

00:53:52.000 It would have been for talking back.

00:53:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:55.000 Well, keep going, because it gets more talky-backy.

00:54:02.000 You just care about yourself because you won't let us speak one word and you won't let us speak.

00:54:06.000 So what do we have to do?

00:54:07.000 I want to hear what you have to say.

00:54:08.000 I'm listening.

00:54:09.000 Well, I forget because you interrupt me and then I forgot what I'm going to say.

00:54:12.000 What a bitch.

00:54:13.000 You hear that?

00:54:14.000 You don't let me say, you don't let us get one word in.

00:54:16.000 Okay, what do you have to say?

00:54:17.000 I forgot.

00:54:18.000 I'll have none of your cheeks.

00:54:19.000 You're a bitch, mom, and you make me forget what I was going to say.

00:54:23.000 Anyway, I want to be barefoot at 7-Eleven.

00:54:25.000 Kids do not have rights.

00:54:26.000 Sorry.

00:54:27.000 Sorry.

00:54:27.000 I always say that to my kids.

00:54:28.000 It's not a democracy.

00:54:29.000 It's a benevolent dictatorship.

00:54:31.000 That's how you agree to get it.

00:54:32.000 You make it less benevolent every time you open that fucking yap of yours.

00:54:36.000 Is that what you're doing?

00:54:37.000 No, I don't know how, and I don't want to go to that place.

00:54:39.000 And we never agree.

00:54:39.000 Wait, what is that?

00:54:40.000 I'm going to say.

00:54:42.000 Do you want to skate?

00:54:43.000 Is that what you're doing?

00:54:43.000 No, I don't know how.

00:54:44.000 And I didn't want to go to that place.

00:54:46.000 And we never agreed to roller skating.

00:54:47.000 I mean, ice skating, baby, is easier than roller skating.

00:54:51.000 Baby.

00:54:51.000 Roller skating is actually harder because the grips on the screen.

00:54:54.000 So here she's talking about how he didn't want to try ice skating because he thinks it's too hard.

00:54:59.000 And she's like, it's actually not harder than roller skating.

00:55:02.000 Roller skating is, one of them is easier.

00:55:04.000 She's trying to help him try out a thing that he doesn't want to try out.

00:55:07.000 That fucking bitch.

00:55:08.000 She's making it fun again to be like, hey, let's get over this.

00:55:10.000 Hey, Brittany, is this the same clip?

00:55:12.000 Yeah.

00:55:13.000 So she's already over the insubordination and the barefoot thing.

00:55:16.000 And she's trying to smooth it over, which I think is way too nice.

00:55:19.000 She's doing great.

00:55:20.000 This is great mom stuff.

00:55:22.000 I think it's too nice.

00:55:23.000 Yeah.

00:55:23.000 This is my problem with it.

00:55:25.000 Hit him, baby, one more time.

00:55:30.000 Ice is like smooth.

00:55:32.000 Like a skateboard.

00:55:33.000 Actually, skateboarding is way worse.

00:55:37.000 What a chill-ass mom.

00:55:38.000 She maybe has a bit of a wine buzz there, maybe.

00:55:41.000 But like, I've seen wine buzzes on my mom that could be in the Guinness Book of World Record.

00:55:46.000 Oh, there would have been no ice skating.

00:55:49.000 We would have been in the car turned around going back home.

00:55:51.000 Oh, I'd have no feet.

00:55:54.000 And then the brutality would have started.

00:55:56.000 I'd get, you want bare feet at 7-Eleven?

00:55:59.000 Here we go.

00:56:02.000 Make you throw all your shoes away.

00:56:03.000 She would leave my bare feet that she cut off at 7-11, and then I'd have stubs for the rest of my life.

00:56:10.000 What's the other one, though?

00:56:15.000 I love how the news, not that this is the news, but you know what I mean?

00:56:21.000 When there's a pop culture item, it ends up saying so much about the people taking it in.

00:56:26.000 And that wasn't the goal.

00:56:28.000 This was supposed to make you go, what a scandalous bitch.

00:56:31.000 Now we're like, what's the matter with America?

00:56:33.000 That was a California beating we just saw right there.

00:56:36.000 Oh, this is a good one.

00:56:37.000 I like this one.

00:56:38.000 I'm glad you.

00:56:40.000 They thought something was wrong with me because I had sis.

00:56:43.000 Your boobs are poking out.

00:56:45.000 Come in here when we're trying to go to bed and then you just go and you.

00:56:49.000 This is my house.

00:56:49.000 If I forget something about it.

00:56:51.000 This is my house.

00:56:52.000 If I want to come in here and give you lotion for your face because it is cold.

00:56:56.000 By the way, they just cut out all the escalation, all the back talk that would cause her to have this.

00:57:00.000 We don't know why she's there.

00:57:01.000 All right.

00:57:02.000 Worse.

00:57:03.000 And all you tell me, no, it's fine.

00:57:05.000 It's fine.

00:57:06.000 No, it's not fine.

00:57:07.000 You all better start respecting me.

00:57:10.000 Are we clear?

00:57:12.000 Yeah.

00:57:12.000 And when Robin calls, and you're all, you're all, even Robin's a fucking kid.

00:57:17.000 She goes, what have you been doing to your kids?

00:57:20.000 You're all, you all need to start treating me like a woman with worth.

00:57:24.000 I am a woman.

00:57:26.000 Okay?

00:57:27.000 Be nice to me.

00:57:28.000 Do you understand?

00:57:30.000 Yeah.

00:57:31.000 She really got that southern accent going on.

00:57:33.000 Yeah, she is.

00:57:34.000 That's a southern mom.

00:57:35.000 Yeah, I felt like going.

00:57:37.000 Yeah, I understand.

00:57:38.000 Yes.

00:57:39.000 She's in his room.

00:57:40.000 They go, your boobs poking out or some shit.

00:57:43.000 Like, sorry, I'm not wearing a gown when I come into your room late at night.

00:57:46.000 But he's got coarse skin, so she has lotion for his face.

00:57:52.000 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with any of that.

00:57:55.000 Free Britney.

00:57:56.000 It's clear now.

00:57:57.000 It's clear she was.

00:57:58.000 No more conservative shit.

00:57:59.000 No.

00:57:59.000 Yes.

00:57:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:00.000 Thank God.

00:58:01.000 God bless her cotton socks.

00:58:03.000 Brittany is free, guys.

00:58:04.000 She is a woman.

00:58:06.000 That's right.

00:58:06.000 Respect her.

00:58:07.000 And be nicer.

00:58:08.000 Yeah, you can tell that they double team her.

00:58:10.000 Like, they just dogpile on her.

00:58:14.000 That Kevin Federline is just sitting there smoking Britney's weed.

00:58:18.000 He's like, your mom's a fucking bitch, dude.

00:58:20.000 Getting fatter and fatter.

00:58:21.000 He's a fucking backup dancer that she boned backstage.

00:58:25.000 And he dropped some loads in her.

00:58:27.000 He's like, this weed sucks, by the way.

00:58:30.000 What a bitch.

00:58:31.000 Look at What the fuck is that?

00:58:33.000 What a bitch.

00:58:34.000 What is that?

00:58:34.000 I don't have a double chin.

00:58:37.000 I have a beard and then a neck and a weird line.

00:58:43.000 Damn.

00:58:44.000 Poor girl.

00:58:45.000 But she puts out like a daily dance video on Instagram.

00:58:49.000 Oh.

00:58:51.000 Is she damaged now?

00:58:53.000 Let me be clear.

00:58:55.000 I'm not necessarily advocating everything that Britney Spears has ever done.

00:58:59.000 No.

00:59:00.000 I don't keep abreast of her.

00:59:02.000 But those examples are fucking ridiculous.

00:59:06.000 And if you think that is child abuse, then you are a spoiled fucking brat.

00:59:12.000 There you go.

00:59:17.000 Daily, this is Daily.

00:59:21.000 Look at the jump cuts.

00:59:31.000 Okay, that is fucking weird.

00:59:32.000 Yeah, she's weirdo.

00:59:34.000 She had one like the Garage Gym.

00:59:36.000 There it is.

00:59:37.000 She was the OG pop star hottie, though.

00:59:41.000 Can't take that away from me.

00:59:42.000 I don't know.

00:59:42.000 That's pretty impressive.

00:59:45.000 That's a sweaty crotch.

00:59:46.000 Sorry.

00:59:47.000 Yeah.

00:59:48.000 That looks like me after boxing.

00:59:51.000 I would like to dry that out with my facial blow dryer.

00:59:55.000 Yeah.

00:59:57.000 My mustache could take in some of that moisture.

00:59:59.000 You just go.

01:00:03.000 No, I would go.

01:00:05.000 Oh, you would Zamboni it?

01:00:09.000 Sylvia, did you ever disrespect your mom?

01:00:13.000 My mother, I didn't get along with her.

01:00:16.000 Did you ever say, fuck you, mom?

01:00:18.000 No, I never said that to her.

01:00:21.000 Never.

01:00:21.000 I just kind of ignored her.

01:00:24.000 It's like Slick Rick says, don't be a dumb dummy and disrespect your mommy.

01:00:28.000 Yep.

01:00:29.000 True.

01:00:30.000 Slick Rick the ruler.

01:00:32.000 Slick Ricky D. MC Ricky D the ruler.

01:00:36.000 All right, let's open up the phones.

01:00:39.000 Yes.

01:00:40.000 Take a couple calls.

01:00:42.000 Of course.

01:00:43.000 And then fucking, God, we got a million people sending in emails about Brittany.

01:00:49.000 One million people.

01:00:51.000 Holy crap.

01:00:53.000 I checked.

01:00:53.000 I cleaned out the mailbag at like noon today.

01:00:57.000 And it is bursting at the seams.

01:01:00.000 Should we put a little bump?

01:01:02.000 Which bump?

01:01:03.000 Thanks for calling?

01:01:04.000 Let's do you.

01:01:05.000 Ryan, shut up.

01:01:06.000 You don't have a dad.

01:01:07.000 Oh.

01:01:08.000 Yo, mailbaggage.

01:01:11.000 Oops.

01:01:12.000 Whoopsie.

01:01:13.000 That's not the...

01:01:14.000 Holy fuck.

01:01:14.000 There's a hundred.

01:01:17.000 They're on fire tonight.

01:01:19.000 I guess they think they're going to get red if they do.

01:01:22.000 You don't have a dad.

01:01:24.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:01:30.000 Let me touch it.

01:01:33.000 All right.

01:01:34.000 This guy emails us about 100 times a day.

01:01:37.000 Does his name start with a J?

01:01:39.000 Yes.

01:01:39.000 Okay.

01:01:41.000 Gavin Maddie.

01:01:43.000 Somehow Ryan's mom is not mentioning this, probably because she abandoned you shortly after your dad did.

01:01:49.000 That is not true.

01:01:50.000 Well, 14 years after you did.

01:01:51.000 That is also not true.

01:01:53.000 She moved, gave me the option to move with her to Lake Carmel, and I did not want to because I was in high school.

01:01:59.000 But she was very close, and I mean, I don't need my mom or you're not.

01:02:03.000 The kids don't get an option.

01:02:04.000 Yeah, I got the option.

01:02:06.000 You're abandoned.

01:02:07.000 Gavin Maddie, this never would happen.

01:02:09.000 With my ma, you cunt, she would tell you where to go.

01:02:11.000 You're not going to wear shoes, you're ungrateful, wee bastard.

01:02:14.000 I was off to school.

01:02:15.000 If you asked for something to eat, she would say, fuck.

01:02:18.000 Folk who don't go to school kind of have stuff to eat.

01:02:21.000 See, why did I read that?

01:02:22.000 Why am I reading letters that...

01:02:27.000 Hey, Gabman and Fagboy, I've been seeing this hot chick for a few months.

01:02:31.000 She's cool as shit, and I'm into her for a lot of reasons.

01:02:33.000 But she used to be fat, like over 200 pounds fat.

01:02:36.000 Are you listening to this, Sylvia?

01:02:38.000 Yeah, I'm mentally.

01:02:39.000 She was fat most of her life until around a year ago, and she has some obese family members.

01:02:45.000 If things progress between us, how concerned should I be about her getting too comfortable and blowing up again?

01:02:52.000 How could I try to prevent that or address if she starts to plump up?

01:02:57.000 Because she's my lover girl.

01:02:59.000 My lover girl.

01:03:00.000 And she never got a bump up.

01:03:02.000 Because she loves her.

01:03:03.000 And I love a bump up.

01:03:05.000 It's a tip.

01:03:08.000 If you allow me one other thing, this chick is into the Red Scare podcast.

01:03:12.000 You know about it.

01:03:13.000 Do you have any thoughts?

01:03:13.000 It's geared towards young broads and fags or making conservative ideas like Catholicism and Alex Jones cool to that young crowd.

01:03:19.000 They're a godsend for dudes like me who get bonus for autistic hip rods, but can't always bring myself to lie about what I think.

01:03:27.000 This is a coin toss.

01:03:32.000 The odds are one and two she gets fat again.

01:03:34.000 Yeah.

01:03:36.000 I would say if that's a deal breaker for you, like you're super anti-fat, don't risk it.

01:03:40.000 One and two are not great odds.

01:03:42.000 But I don't know.

01:03:43.000 But it's obviously now at this point in time in her life that she's conscious about her image and weight if she's lost all the weight.

01:03:50.000 Yeah, Maddie's fat.

01:03:52.000 I still love him.

01:03:54.000 I'm scared.

01:03:56.000 I'm big boned.

01:03:57.000 Maddie's big boned.

01:04:01.000 This is ancient news, but I'll read it anyway.

01:04:03.000 I recently graduated from HBCU, historically black college or university.

01:04:08.000 I hate to sound racist, but I'm...

01:04:11.000 Oh, wait a minute.

01:04:11.000 We didn't ask Sylvia.

01:04:12.000 Sylvia, what do you think of that guy?

01:04:15.000 His girlfriend used to be fat.

01:04:17.000 He's worried she's going to get fat again.

01:04:21.000 You've got to hold the mic to your mouth a little more.

01:04:23.000 If he really loves her, it doesn't matter.

01:04:26.000 No, even closer.

01:04:27.000 You've got to really blow it.

01:04:28.000 I know you Jews don't like blowing it.

01:04:30.000 If he really cares about her, her weight should never be an issue.

01:04:35.000 When you love someone, you've got to accept them the way they are, not the way you want them to be.

01:04:41.000 There we go.

01:04:42.000 Okay.

01:04:42.000 The voice of reason.

01:04:45.000 I don't know historically black colleges well, but I'm willing to guess that the level of education is a fucking joke.

01:04:52.000 And I remember Naomi Schaefer-Riley, she was fired from an academic journal for analyzing a bunch of black PhDs.

01:05:00.000 And she goes, her husband's black, by the way, Jason Riley.

01:05:02.000 So I guess she thought she could get away with it.

01:05:04.000 But she's like, every fucking PhD is about racism and oppression and how horrible it's been for that person and slavery.

01:05:12.000 Like, can't they do one PhD on the Great Depression or the Civil War or something?

01:05:18.000 Speaking of the Civil War, by the way, when I was in the South, I'm watching a documentary in the hotel about the Civil War.

01:05:24.000 And all the white guys are like, well, the problem with the Battle of Gettysburg was it was on a hill, so they had to shoot down, and that was their kind of contribution.

01:05:33.000 That's not an actual thing, but you know what I mean?

01:05:35.000 And then every time a black guy came on, he was like, the white soldiers hated the black soldiers, even though they were on the same team, because they were all racists.

01:05:48.000 And you're like, okay, that might even be true.

01:05:50.000 I don't fucking know.

01:05:50.000 But can a black historian just be a black historian?

01:05:54.000 Just be a historian.

01:05:56.000 Why does your angle always, why do you have to be the black fucking guy?

01:06:01.000 Tell me about like the quality of food back then or their shirts.

01:06:05.000 The cotton was really stiff.

01:06:06.000 It was really painful.

01:06:07.000 They got hot.

01:06:08.000 Some of them died of heat exhaustion.

01:06:09.000 No, it's got to be slavery.

01:06:11.000 So I'm guessing that black colleges are the same.

01:06:15.000 It's just fucking...

01:06:16.000 Let me take this history of oranges and make it all about slaves picking oranges and racist orange eaters.

01:06:27.000 Someone's sending us a Spotify link, like we all can get onto Spotify.

01:06:33.000 Our daughter's, my daughter uses my Spotify account, so every time you send me a Spotify link, I can't open it.

01:06:40.000 I got it here.

01:06:40.000 It's this one.

01:06:42.000 Did you know some men blow dry their toes?

01:06:45.000 Oh, this guy sent this a few times.

01:06:48.000 But there's no clip.

01:06:50.000 He should.

01:06:51.000 I'm just supposed to listen to that for an hour?

01:06:53.000 It's only an hour and 23.

01:06:54.000 Yeah, let's sit here for an hour and 23 minutes, you fucking idiot.

01:06:58.000 Did you know some men blow dry their toes?

01:07:03.000 So that was a $100 one, so we'll read it.

01:07:06.000 But what is he bringing that for?

01:07:07.000 This guy sent this email about 10 times, by the way.

01:07:10.000 He says that, Ryan, you've gotten better over the years, but you should still try your best.

01:07:14.000 Okay.

01:07:15.000 Thanks, shithead.

01:07:17.000 You're lucky you spent $100.

01:07:19.000 So the girl's Instagram post is causing a lot of controversy because she took nude photos on campus.

01:07:29.000 The caption really makes the photo.

01:07:31.000 Also, she made a follow-up post to address the thousands of quote-unquote haters in the comments.

01:07:36.000 A lot of people want her degree taken away.

01:07:39.000 What?

01:07:40.000 Bullshit.

01:07:43.000 So that's a picture she did.

01:07:46.000 What's this?

01:07:47.000 Turn it up?

01:07:50.000 Other than that, you have made me proud.

01:07:53.000 I'm proud of you, really.

01:07:56.000 Thank you so much.

01:07:58.000 We're very, very proud of you.

01:08:01.000 Aw, thank you so much.

01:08:04.000 Well, I'm so proud of you.

01:08:06.000 So proud of you for being a dumb whore.

01:08:10.000 I ain't never heard you say that was passage down that deep disappointment.

01:08:17.000 I'm just happy for you.

01:08:20.000 This guy says the audio was out for the entire episode until the end of the hot sauce ad.

01:08:26.000 So no intro, nothing.

01:08:30.000 Somebody tech-wise said after we introduced Maddie, right after that point.

01:08:36.000 Okay.

01:08:38.000 Gavin's either too cheap to buy better equipment or Ryan is fucking up.

01:08:43.000 Could be somewhere in between.

01:08:48.000 Someone wants to see behind the scenes.

01:08:50.000 That's boring.

01:08:51.000 Someone finds Brooke Goldstein attractive.

01:08:54.000 That's nice.

01:08:57.000 All right.

01:08:58.000 I'm no longer reading letters.

01:08:59.000 I have no idea.

01:08:59.000 We got lots of calls.

01:09:00.000 Yeah, let's take some calls.

01:09:02.000 Maybe we should get motherfuckers.

01:09:03.000 I get annoyed when I see shitty emails coming up.

01:09:05.000 We got $100.

01:09:06.000 Would you rather Britney Spears crazy ass in her prime or Demi Lovato's crazy ass?

01:09:13.000 I have a disappointing answer to this.

01:09:15.000 It's Demi Lovato, even though I know Britney Spears is a higher quality person, but I'm into brunettes over blondes, so I'm giving you an answer that you should be disappointed in.

01:09:28.000 I'd say Brittany, because Demi Lovato doesn't know if she's a woman or not.

01:09:31.000 That's true.

01:09:32.000 Yeah, what if she switches it up?

01:09:33.000 They're both nuts in a way.

01:09:35.000 Yeah.

01:09:37.000 But although Demi's back with her.

01:09:39.000 And she just changed her pronouns again.

01:09:41.000 Wait, from she, her?

01:09:42.000 Back to she, her.

01:09:44.000 All right, so she's back.

01:09:45.000 We had a rocky road there with some of they, thems.

01:09:48.000 They are about a year for now.

01:09:50.000 What did she say she was pansexual or some shit?

01:09:53.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:09:53.000 Pansexual.

01:09:54.000 Does that mean I come home and you're fucking some dude?

01:09:57.000 Oh.

01:09:58.000 That's a no.

01:09:59.000 Mike's on, fellas.

01:10:00.000 Mike's on.

01:10:02.000 Oh, sorry.

01:10:03.000 Mike's on.

01:10:04.000 And we got, speaking of Mike, we don't have Mike on the line.

01:10:06.000 We have 360.

01:10:09.000 Go ahead there, 360.

01:10:12.000 What's up, 360?

01:10:14.000 Hey, Gavin, Maddie, Rygai.

01:10:17.000 What's up?

01:10:18.000 What's happening?

01:10:20.000 Hey, what's up, hey?

01:10:22.000 Long time listener, first time caller, brother.

01:10:25.000 Let's see here.

01:10:26.000 Calling from Washington, Seattle.

01:10:28.000 Okay, let's get to the point.

01:10:36.000 Sylvia, what do you think of this call so far?

01:10:39.000 I find it fascinating.

01:10:41.000 What do you guys think of the fundamental attribution error?

01:10:46.000 The fundamental attribution error?

01:10:49.000 I think it's awesome.

01:10:50.000 Kind of icky.

01:10:53.000 Kind of icky.

01:10:54.000 It is awesome.

01:10:56.000 So you know what that is, the fundamental attribution error?

01:10:59.000 Of course I do.

01:11:00.000 It refers to an individual's tendency to attribute another's actions to their character or personality while attributing their behavior to external situational factors outside their control.

01:11:12.000 I'm just guessing here.

01:11:13.000 That's pretty impressive.

01:11:14.000 So that's a tendency.

01:11:16.000 What people do is they have a tendency to attribute other people's behavior to that other person's personality.

01:11:24.000 They have a tendency to attribute their own behavior to circumstantial factors, Circumstances.

01:11:31.000 So it's like a hypocrisy, you know.

01:11:35.000 And so I know you guys don't necessarily get real philosophical there, but I appreciate your level-headedness.

01:11:42.000 And it's good to talk to you.

01:11:45.000 So, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:11:47.000 Give us an example.

01:11:48.000 So, I say, like, Brittany Spears is nuts because she's a crazy bitch.

01:11:52.000 And then when I do something crazy, I go, well, that's because I was beaten as a child.

01:11:57.000 Yeah.

01:11:58.000 Right.

01:11:59.000 Exactly.

01:12:00.000 Or white people attack us because they're racist and not just.

01:12:04.000 And then we attack people because we're not.

01:12:05.000 We tend to think about personality when we're judging other people, and we tend to think about circumstances when we're judging ourselves.

01:12:11.000 Interesting.

01:12:13.000 But that was interesting.

01:12:14.000 So where do you stand with nature or nurture?

01:12:18.000 What percentage of our personalities are nature?

01:12:20.000 And what percentage is nurture?

01:12:23.000 Oh, boy, that's a good question.

01:12:24.000 You know, hey, that's the $6,000 question.

01:12:30.000 The answer is 95,5.

01:12:32.000 Nature over nurture.

01:12:35.000 Okay, yeah, I would go for that.

01:12:37.000 You know, maybe.

01:12:38.000 All right, bye.

01:12:39.000 Thanks for calling.

01:12:40.000 Thanks for calling.

01:12:42.000 You got Sylvia a question here.

01:12:43.000 I don't know if you're interested, but can Sylvia please share her makeup routine?

01:12:48.000 Who's her blush guy?

01:12:49.000 What's your lipstick here?

01:12:50.000 I think nurturing is very important.

01:12:54.000 And whoever receives the nurturing is okay, too.

01:12:59.000 That's the makeup routine, folks.

01:13:01.000 It revolves and evolves.

01:13:04.000 It works both ways.

01:13:05.000 It revolves and evolves.

01:13:07.000 Yes.

01:13:08.000 Sickly.

01:13:11.000 So, Sephora, take note.

01:13:13.000 Yeah.

01:13:14.000 Can you guys hear me?

01:13:16.000 Yeah, we can hear you.

01:13:18.000 I always feel like I'm getting a direct line in question to Jesus Christ himself when I'm on here.

01:13:23.000 Like I'm going to fumble the bag.

01:13:26.000 But anyway, Gavin, so I hear you talk a lot about guys getting married early.

01:13:33.000 But man, I'm 21 years old.

01:13:34.000 I'd say I'm maybe like a 7.5, 8, 6'2.

01:13:38.000 Man, women, at least I live in Southern California, it's bad, man.

01:13:43.000 Like, I understand where you're coming from, and I think you're 95% right on how men need to approach young women.

01:13:49.000 But there's something that you don't know about these women, man.

01:13:52.000 They are so sluggy.

01:13:54.000 They are so low quality.

01:13:56.000 I just, like, I'm giving up at this point, man.

01:13:59.000 Like, your mind would be blown if you got to experience the utter, I don't know what the word is for.

01:14:09.000 Depravity.

01:14:10.000 I think, dude, it's just fucking a nightmare.

01:14:13.000 And it's like these women, and here's the problem, Gavin, and I think you'll agree with this, is that back in the day, people didn't have access to every fucking woman they want.

01:14:22.000 Women go on social media, there's a seven, an eight, a nine, and a, not a 10, a 10, fucking the 2% that women always want.

01:14:29.000 That are ready to fuck them.

01:14:30.000 Guys, seven and eight, dude, it's just the imbalance is making men angry.

01:14:35.000 And I think you've heard of Andrew Tate, and 25% of what he says is complete bullshit.

01:14:41.000 But he is here because men are getting sick of this feminist bullshit.

01:14:46.000 And the skill always turns.

01:14:48.000 Isaac Newton's general law is that there's always an equal or greater reaction.

01:14:53.000 And the greater reaction is this fucking asshole who the majority of what he says is right.

01:14:59.000 But, I mean, that's why I listen to you because you're just an upgrade on him.

01:15:02.000 You're fucking Jesus Christ himself.

01:15:05.000 Hell yeah, man.

01:15:06.000 That's what I have to say.

01:15:09.000 All right.

01:15:09.000 Thanks for calling.

01:15:11.000 I can imagine it's pretty rough.

01:15:12.000 We just have some breaking news here that's not good for us.

01:15:19.000 I just sent you the link, Ryan.

01:15:21.000 I'm sure it is tough out there.

01:15:23.000 And I guess what I was saying, too, with the young men dating is if you get the one and you're like, well, I'm too young, then you should ignore that instinct and just fucking marry her.

01:15:32.000 If, however, you're drowning in sluts and none of them are worthy, obviously don't be desperately throwing a wedding ring around.

01:15:41.000 So this is a guy who attacked the FBI.

01:15:44.000 He's been linked to the Proud Boys, according to Daily Mail.

01:15:48.000 I got an email or a text from a Proud Boy in Ohio saying, just so you know, we don't know this dude.

01:15:53.000 And I was like, why are you saying that?

01:15:55.000 Is he linked to Proud Boys?

01:15:56.000 And he goes, no, but I know that you're always paranoid about that.

01:16:00.000 But here it says Schiffer attended the January 6th Capitol riot and had ties to extremist groups, including the Proud Boys.

01:16:08.000 Ties.

01:16:08.000 Boy, like what, liking a post or something?

01:16:11.000 What the fuck?

01:16:12.000 Well, we'll see.

01:16:14.000 He has ties to the Proud Boys, it says in the belly of the article.

01:16:20.000 Then there's a whole thing about the Proud Boys, who they are.

01:16:24.000 Vice Media co-founder Gavin McInnes.

01:16:27.000 We're now doing Me News.

01:16:28.000 Started the all-male Proud Boys, blah, blah, blah.

01:16:31.000 Politically incorrect men's club.

01:16:35.000 Group that overtly espouse racist and anti-Semitic views.

01:16:40.000 According to someone.

01:16:43.000 Fuck me.

01:16:45.000 Wait.

01:16:46.000 A politically incorrect men's club for Western chauvinists and deny affiliations with forward extremist groups that overtly espouse racist and Semitic views.

01:16:56.000 The Alabama-based Salary and Poverty Law Center called them a hate group, saying its members often spread outright bigger, bigotry, and anti-Muslim, yes, and misogynist rhetoric, yes.

01:17:08.000 Over the internet, blah, blah, blah.

01:17:11.000 And have posted social media pictures of themselves with prominent Holocaust deniers, white nationalists, and known neo-Nazis.

01:17:20.000 So you've been in a photo with bad men.

01:17:23.000 The current leader, Enrique Tario, marched in Charlottesville.

01:17:26.000 That's not true.

01:17:27.000 They've been involved in a series of high-profile violent clashes.

01:17:31.000 In New York City, in October 2018, police arrested several Proud Boys members who brawled with anti-fascist protesters.

01:17:39.000 You always know where they come from when they say anti-fascist instead of Antifa.

01:17:42.000 Following a speech by McInnes, yeah, and they got four years in prison for that.

01:17:47.000 That's why we're trying to raise money for these poor bastards.

01:17:50.000 They frequently clash with counter-protesters at rallies in California and Oregon.

01:17:54.000 Most recently, the group took part in the siege on the Capitol.

01:17:58.000 In February, they designated a Terrorist group in Canada.

01:18:05.000 Here we go.

01:18:06.000 In another tweet, he referenced his affiliation with the Proud Boys, all-male far-world extremist group involved in a series of high-profile violent crises and political events.

01:18:16.000 And here we have, oh, the packing.

01:18:19.000 The packing could be here.

01:18:21.000 Schiffer posted last May.

01:18:23.000 Save ammunition.

01:18:24.000 Get in touch with the Proud Boys and learn how they did it in the Revolutionary War.

01:18:29.000 Because submitting to tyranny while lawfully protesting was never the American way.

01:18:36.000 So, so far, the only solid affiliation is get in touch with the Proud Boys.

01:18:42.000 And we're done.

01:18:43.000 You guys were around in the Revolutionary War?

01:18:45.000 Yeah.

01:18:46.000 Wow.

01:18:47.000 That's a really long-standing group of men you got there.

01:18:51.000 Thanks for noticing.

01:18:53.000 It's the first men's club that was invented in a time machine.

01:18:57.000 Yeah.

01:18:59.000 So of course it's a fucking chick behind this, Natasha Anderson.

01:19:04.000 So this guy says, get in touch with the Proud Boys, and now he's affiliated with the Proud Boys.

01:19:11.000 Because he mentioned the group's name.

01:19:13.000 Yeah.

01:19:15.000 Let's look at this bitch.

01:19:16.000 I need to see.

01:19:19.000 Yeah, they always look like this.

01:19:23.000 They're always like 22-year-old sex in the city chicks.

01:19:30.000 Natasha Anderson.

01:19:32.000 She's a child.

01:19:33.000 She's a babysitter.

01:19:35.000 No world experience whatsoever.

01:19:37.000 U.S. online reporter for DailyMail.com.

01:19:44.000 Like, these women use white nationalists and proud boys just to mean like boys who didn't fuck me in high school.

01:19:52.000 And I'm glad they didn't, because I'm doing great on my own.

01:19:56.000 No, there's a better picture under LinkedIn, Ryan.

01:20:02.000 You don't have to be on LinkedIn.

01:20:05.000 Anyway, that was a good way to end it.

01:20:07.000 We're going to keep going with calls and the super chats.

01:20:11.000 And you also talk about, Ryan, how to get on the live chat on the site.

01:20:17.000 Is that only for subscribers?

01:20:19.000 It should be.

01:20:20.000 The page, yeah.

01:20:22.000 Yeah, there she is.

01:20:23.000 She kind of looks like a weird thumb.

01:20:26.000 Hi.

01:20:28.000 Remember those oranges when they used to put the eyes and the mouth and the orange?

01:20:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:20:32.000 He's in the Proud Boys.

01:20:34.000 He said, contact your local Proud Boys.

01:20:36.000 And then there's a giant part of the article is this sidebar explaining the Proud Boys.

01:20:43.000 And by the way, when they say denies anti-Semitism and racism, they put that in so I can't sue them.

01:20:51.000 It's a little trick.

01:20:53.000 But the general message still gets through where you go, those guys sound like Nazis.

01:20:59.000 Or they'll say, Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups.

01:21:03.000 You can't sue for that.

01:21:05.000 Proud Boys, you could say the Mets and other MLB teams.

01:21:11.000 No, wait, that doesn't work.

01:21:13.000 You could say the Mets and other sports.

01:21:15.000 No, that doesn't work.

01:21:17.000 There's a way where they go, the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups and the white supremacist sticks to the other and not the first guys.

01:21:28.000 Is that possible?

01:21:29.000 Anyway, that's the problem with this shit.

01:21:31.000 The media is embroiled in semantics, and you have to parse through these wordplay games to catch them fucking up because the only way you can sue is when they make a clerical error.

01:21:43.000 But if you say, white nationalists want you to work out and get in shape, an obsession the Proud Boys are happy to support.

01:21:53.000 And you're like, well, wait a minute, that's technically true, but I don't like the way that comes out.

01:22:00.000 Can't sue for the way that comes out.

01:22:02.000 Anyway, we are now closing down the free section of the show.

01:22:07.000 Thanks, Silk City Hot Sauce.

01:22:09.000 Thanks, Shell Shock CBD.

01:22:12.000 And we will be back free next week on Thursday.

01:22:18.000 I don't think that's enough for you, though.

01:22:20.000 This is like, we were very generous today.

01:22:22.000 It's an hour and a half.

01:22:23.000 We gave you free.

01:22:24.000 We usually do half an hour.

01:22:27.000 If you subscribe to censored.tv, you get more than you can handle.

01:22:30.000 We got Anthony Coome on the network every Wednesday.

01:22:33.000 That's a wild ride.

01:22:34.000 And it is unlimited, honest news that is totally unbiased and funny.

01:22:43.000 The problem with the right, I find, is great guys.

01:22:46.000 Daily Wire, I love.

01:22:47.000 I listen to Michael Knowles and Ben Shapiro when I'm driving around in my old-fashioned car that only has the radio.

01:22:54.000 I love Chris Plant on Talk New York.

01:22:57.000 Great dudes.

01:22:58.000 I need more humor from the right.

01:23:00.000 And that's what you get here on censored.tv.

01:23:03.000 We joke around.

01:23:04.000 We riff.

01:23:05.000 We have fun.

01:23:05.000 We call a bartender if we think he was talking shit about us.

01:23:09.000 You don't see that anywhere else.

01:23:10.000 So give it a whirl and you won't regret it.

01:23:12.000 So without further ado, and please stop sending me emails saying I got that colloquialism wrong.

01:23:18.000 I'm aware of that.

01:23:20.000 Get fired.

01:23:21.000 Get in trouble.

01:23:22.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.

01:24:01.000 He's a fucking comedian, writer, actor comedian.

01:24:04.000 He's the co-founder of my fucking other vagina, you gross pig.

01:24:12.000 Who is the fuck on the empty comedian speaker?

01:24:14.000 You got big fucking pigs.

01:24:20.000 I watched that and I said, this chick's too retarded the fuck.

01:24:22.000 You shouldn't do it.

01:24:24.000 They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around.

01:24:28.000 This is the part of Seth that's gonna get real mean before I leave.

01:24:36.000 No more filthy.

01:24:38.000 You king.

01:24:40.000 They think we wanna tell those kind of jokes.

01:24:50.000 Oh shit.

01:24:52.000 The fact that we used Bruce Springsteen for the free thing might get us in trubs.

01:24:58.000 Just with Twitter, right?

01:25:00.000 I mean Twitch.

01:25:01.000 No, there was no sound.

01:25:03.000 No, there was no sound.

01:25:06.000 But we did talk about it later.

01:25:07.000 Yeah.

01:25:09.000 Yo, popcast, whatever they call them, they'll be using free songs all the time.

01:25:13.000 I'll listen to it.

01:25:15.000 We'll see what happens.

01:25:17.000 I think it's YouTube who are the real Nazis about that kind of music.

01:25:23.000 Here's a funny tranny meme from Wingo Bingo.

01:25:27.000 It has a Chad saying the N-word and a black Chad saying fuck you.

01:25:33.000 Then it has a Chad saying faggot and a gay Chad saying fuck you.

01:25:38.000 And then it has a Chad saying Tranny.

01:25:40.000 I got frozen male.

01:25:41.000 Hold up.

01:25:42.000 Chad?

01:25:43.000 Yeah.

01:25:44.000 What is that a nickname for?

01:25:46.000 It's like a meme for...

01:25:47.000 It used to be an insult for alpha males and then it's been co-opted and now it means awesome dude.

01:25:54.000 I'm not familiar with that terminology.

01:25:57.000 And then the last one, it says tranny, and it has a reclamed tranny saying, why are you so obsessed with trannies?

01:26:04.000 It's because you actually want to fuck trannies.

01:26:06.000 Actually, it's because you're a closeted tranny.

01:26:08.000 Back to poll, Chud.

01:26:09.000 You are triggered by trannies.

01:26:11.000 Sorry, you'll never be with a trans queen.

01:26:14.000 Remember that guy, Steph on Knee?

01:26:18.000 God damn it.

01:26:20.000 He was the most ridiculous tranny.

01:26:21.000 He was at the forefront of the whole thing.

01:26:24.000 A gigantic man, like 6'8, 300 pounds.

01:26:29.000 He decides he's a four-year-old girl named Stephanie, but it's spelled Steph on Knee.

01:26:36.000 And he starts getting fucked up the ass.

01:26:40.000 Some perverted, disgusting couple in Canada adopts him, and they fuck him up the ass.

01:26:46.000 So they're pedophiles, right?

01:26:48.000 Because he's pretending to be a little girl.

01:26:50.000 He says, can I get pregnant?

01:26:51.000 We showed it on my show years ago, and they since deleted the podcast because I guess they realized a gigantic man pretending to be a four-year-old girl and getting fucked up the ass is probably not a positive experience.

01:27:04.000 I don't know where I saw it, but yesterday, there was a township that's shutting down a place called My Inner Baby.

01:27:12.000 Oh, that was on the show, yeah.

01:27:14.000 It was.

01:27:14.000 We cover on the show.

01:27:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:16.000 That's where.

01:27:16.000 Okay, yeah.

01:27:17.000 I'm like, where the hell did I see that?

01:27:20.000 I actually saved a message from quote-unquote her that's years old now.

01:27:27.000 And because I joked around that Stefan Ni, I want to fuck her.

01:27:34.000 Did she have a baby?

01:27:36.000 She did not get pregnant from her pedophile ass raping.

01:27:40.000 Oh, weeks.

01:27:40.000 That's the wrong person.

01:27:42.000 I'll send this to you, Ryan.

01:27:44.000 I wish I had saved the date.

01:27:46.000 Did I save the date?

01:27:46.000 Or is this a bit about her?

01:27:48.000 Make of all this.

01:27:51.000 It's bloody ridiculous.

01:27:52.000 He's not.

01:27:53.000 He is.

01:27:54.000 It's embarrassing.

01:27:55.000 It's a load of bullocks.

01:27:57.000 I'm trans.

01:27:58.000 Deal with it.

01:27:59.000 You're not trans.

01:28:00.000 You're having a breakdown.

01:28:01.000 Transphobic.

01:28:02.000 It's not transphobic.

01:28:03.000 You're not trans.

01:28:04.000 I am trans.

01:28:05.000 I haven't got a problem with trans people.

01:28:06.000 Real trans people.

01:28:08.000 I couldn't give a shit what gender people want to be or become or what they want to be called or how they want to dress or whether they keep them.

01:28:14.000 Not with the family they were born with.

01:28:15.000 I couldn't give a shit.

01:28:16.000 But you are not trans.

01:28:17.000 You're having a fucking breakdown.

01:28:20.000 I identify as an eight-year-old girl.

01:28:22.000 Oh, you're not an eight-year-old girl.

01:28:24.000 You are what you identify as.

01:28:27.000 Pulls this sort of shit all the time.

01:28:29.000 You saw a documentary once about MA.

01:28:31.000 Had that for a year.

01:28:32.000 That was a nightmare.

01:28:34.000 You tell it all the time.

01:28:34.000 I couldn't work.

01:28:35.000 It was bullshit.

01:28:36.000 Dude, this is definitely inspired by Stefan Nietzsche.

01:28:39.000 Yeah.

01:28:39.000 Like, directly, I think.

01:28:41.000 Yeah.

01:28:43.000 You know, that show was about him.

01:28:47.000 What was it called?

01:28:48.000 I forget what that show was called.

01:28:50.000 It's so much more bearable.

01:28:52.000 Afterlife than Afterlife.

01:28:54.000 That's not Afterlife.

01:28:55.000 It says Afterlife Season 2.

01:28:57.000 Oh, really?

01:28:58.000 Fuck, Afterlife has become so hokey now about love.

01:29:03.000 And, you know, you're my angel, ultimately.

01:29:06.000 I've got your text message here.

01:29:07.000 I've learned that.

01:29:09.000 Yeah, so I should have saved the date, but I joked that you want to fuck me so bad.

01:29:13.000 I want to fuck her.

01:29:14.000 And Stefan Neese DM'd me back when I was on Twitter and said, I want to make you completely aware of my intention to not only never let you fuck me, but also know that I'm not one of your 255,000 stupid lemmings.

01:29:30.000 Let me block you out of my life, dumbass.

01:29:34.000 So I want you to see who just made it clear I will never get to fuck her.

01:29:40.000 Ever.

01:29:41.000 Which is unfortunate because I would fuck her for 800 million?

01:29:54.000 Even then, though.

01:29:56.000 Look at that.

01:29:57.000 It looks like the thing.

01:29:59.000 Yeah, it does.

01:30:02.000 She's a ginger.

01:30:05.000 Oh, look, that's the couple that fucked her at the top.

01:30:09.000 Right there?

01:30:10.000 Yeah, that man on the left is a, I'm convinced he's a pedophile.

01:30:16.000 He fucked that guy.

01:30:18.000 So they adopted him and the Canadian media, you think liberal media in America is bad.

01:30:22.000 Canada's media, Canadian liberals, actually all of Canada, has this fucking reinvent the wheel compulsion where they're like, love doesn't exist.

01:30:32.000 Up is down.

01:30:32.000 And because it's such a new country, they're always like, maybe cars should go backwards.

01:30:38.000 We're going to have reverse day.

01:30:40.000 And they're always thinking outside the box, which can be a very endearing quality.

01:30:45.000 You know, it's not like Britain where there's this uptight classism, but it can be fucking annoying.

01:30:50.000 Like when it comes to adopting a 50-year-old man who abandoned his six kids and then fucking him up the ass as a four-year-old while he worries about him getting pregnant.

01:31:03.000 See if you can pull them up, those three.

01:31:05.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:31:07.000 Because I think it's been deleted.

01:31:08.000 I wonder where that guy is now.

01:31:11.000 I remember back then, someone in Toronto was his neighbor, and they're like, I'm his fucking neighbor, dude.

01:31:17.000 And I go, okay, you're feeding a squirrel here.

01:31:21.000 This is not easy, but we need to get Steph on me on the show, on video.

01:31:27.000 Oh my Lord.

01:31:29.000 She was Paul.

01:31:32.000 And she's still Paul.

01:31:34.000 She is Paul.

01:31:37.000 Here's some cells pretending to be full of shit.

01:31:41.000 What does this have to do with Paul?

01:31:44.000 Born a male.

01:31:46.000 She was Paul for 40, 50 years.

01:31:50.000 When I grew up, being transgendered was a sickness, it was a disorder.

01:31:55.000 Yep.

01:31:55.000 And it was something to be embarrassed about.

01:31:57.000 Well, guess what?

01:31:58.000 It still is.

01:31:59.000 We're still going strong.

01:32:01.000 Wait, how do you abandon...

01:32:03.000 Oh, good.

01:32:03.000 I thought that was a sick.

01:32:04.000 Stephanie Walsh rarely comes back to her hometown of Mount Albert, Ontario.

01:32:10.000 Population, 3,000.

01:32:13.000 Is that her nickname, Mount Albert?

01:32:16.000 She is Mount Albert.

01:32:18.000 In fact, she hasn't lived here in five years.

01:32:21.000 The main reason?

01:32:22.000 She was driven out by a restraining order.

01:32:26.000 But make no mistake.

01:32:27.000 Wait, that sounds like she's a victim.

01:32:28.000 She's a victim of that, huh?

01:32:29.000 I love how they just gloss over that the restraining order couldn't possibly be justified.

01:32:34.000 She's away from the town.

01:32:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:36.000 She's a victim.

01:32:38.000 All she did was accost his ex-wife, and he was asked to leave.

01:32:46.000 But still doesn't mean you have to leave town.

01:32:48.000 No.

01:32:50.000 Just stay away from the woman you were accosting.

01:32:52.000 Stephanie is no stranger here.

01:32:55.000 For nearly 50 years, everyone knew her as Paul.

01:33:00.000 But what people didn't know was that Paul harbored a deep secret.

01:33:05.000 A secret idiot that only one person knew about, his wife.

01:33:10.000 Maria uncovered it well before they were married.

01:33:14.000 It was when they were dating as teenagers 30 years ago.

01:33:17.000 Wait, just pause.

01:33:18.000 This is Paul's version of events.

01:33:21.000 We're not going to hear from her and how she didn't know what the fuck was going on until one day he showed up dressed as a four-year-old and said, good luck getting alimony from me.

01:33:32.000 Bye, bitch.

01:33:34.000 And gave all his kids serious mental issues.

01:33:41.000 Oh, that's when she caught Paul with his Sears catalog.

01:33:47.000 I was trans before we married.

01:33:50.000 I was a trans parent for 23 years.

01:33:55.000 No, you weren't.

01:33:57.000 You were not a trans parent.

01:33:59.000 Dude, he's built like a brick shithouse.

01:34:01.000 Yeah.

01:34:02.000 I should watch it.

01:34:03.000 Like, Stefan Nihil throw me across the road into an 18-wheeler.

01:34:09.000 That's all still there.

01:34:10.000 Six kids?

01:34:12.000 It floored me.

01:34:13.000 It scared me because I didn't know how to not be trans.

01:34:18.000 Shut up.

01:34:20.000 You're rewriting history.

01:34:23.000 Oh.

01:34:24.000 Is that a trap they set?

01:34:25.000 Thank God.

01:34:27.000 No, it's not a trap.

01:34:29.000 It's a three-ton piece of cement wrapped in canvas.

01:34:34.000 Doesn't trap anything.

01:34:36.000 It obliterates it.

01:34:37.000 Oh, so you just admitted you don't want trans to exist.

01:34:42.000 I don't want Paul to exist.

01:34:44.000 Stefani.

01:34:45.000 Whatever's behind that black curtain, I hope it says Acme on it.

01:34:50.000 He gets the Wile E treatment.

01:34:53.000 Wiley Coyote.

01:34:54.000 Like a lot of ladies, I just fucking take out transmissions, re-calibrate them, and pop them back in.

01:35:01.000 A lot of shops don't like to do transmissions, but as a tranny, I feel that it's my right.

01:35:08.000 Look at this.

01:35:08.000 Stefani came over.

01:35:09.000 Typical chicks.

01:35:10.000 Ricky's sitting out the air filters.

01:35:12.000 Needed some fixing, so fucking Stefan Nik came over.

01:35:15.000 Checking the oil.

01:35:16.000 You know how women are.

01:35:17.000 She fixed it up real good, gave us a couple of smokes.

01:35:20.000 Testosterone suppressors on spirolactin.

01:35:23.000 And January, I began taking estrogen and began transitioning.

01:35:28.000 Didn't work.

01:35:31.000 Where is he now?

01:35:33.000 Where is Stefan Ni now?

01:35:36.000 I would fucking kill to get Stefan Knee on a show.

01:35:39.000 We gotta...

01:35:39.000 I keep talking a big game like mantis shrimps and stuff, and then I let it fall apart.

01:35:44.000 We still gotta build that liberal version of the site where we can lure in people like Meet Walsh did with his fucking training doc.

01:35:52.000 We got tons of calls.

01:35:53.000 We got 19 calls.

01:35:54.000 Oh, right.

01:35:54.000 We had to get through the calls.

01:35:56.000 We got fucking 20 minutes.

01:35:57.000 That's a minute a call.

01:35:59.000 We had way more, but they dropped off because they were waiting too long.

01:36:02.000 They dropped off, T?

01:36:03.000 T 913, you're on the lead.

01:36:07.000 What's up?

01:36:08.000 What up, dog?

01:36:09.000 Yo, what's happening?

01:36:12.000 So, Gab, you know that Homelander clip you showed earlier this week where he blows the guy's head off, and you're like, that's what they, the libs, see us as?

01:36:20.000 Yes.

01:36:21.000 Well, it's actually a little bit worse than that because that's supposed to be Trump saying he can shoot someone on Fifth Street or whatever he said, and no one would care.

01:36:30.000 And throughout the entire season, they've set this guy up to be Trump.

01:36:34.000 Like, he starts firing all kinds of people, doing all this ridiculous stuff.

01:36:40.000 And in the previous season, there was some chick who's like a secret Nazi, and she's like talking about white genocide, and everyone's like, yeah, awesome.

01:36:47.000 And it's like a weird, stupid.

01:36:51.000 This is like Dennis Prager says, and I think he stole it from Krauthammer.

01:36:54.000 They think we're evil.

01:36:56.000 We just think they're wrong.

01:36:58.000 I don't want them to die.

01:36:59.000 I just joked about Stefani, but you get the point.

01:37:03.000 But when you hear their fantasies, like my mother-in-law the other day just said, I'm going to have a huge party when Trump dies.

01:37:09.000 They really want him to die.

01:37:10.000 Anyway, we've got a minute to call.

01:37:11.000 Thanks for calling.

01:37:12.000 Next call.

01:37:13.000 It's true.

01:37:16.000 Well, go ahead, they call it.

01:37:17.000 $100.

01:37:19.000 $100.

01:37:20.000 We will be heard.

01:37:21.000 Uhuru.

01:37:22.000 I'm not magic.

01:37:23.000 I can't fucking...

01:37:25.000 Oh, this is the guy who wants...

01:37:28.000 The baby monsters Want you, Ryan, to do streeters.

01:37:32.000 Okay.

01:37:33.000 That's their demand.

01:37:34.000 Got it.

01:37:35.000 Thanks.

01:37:36.000 Does it have to be so intense?

01:37:38.000 Yeah, chill the fuck out.

01:37:40.000 Until our demands are met, we get a certain amount.

01:37:43.000 We'll get him to do streeters.

01:37:44.000 Calm down.

01:37:45.000 I don't really like the vocabulary of threatening my family, too.

01:37:49.000 It's not really a kidnapping kind of stuff.

01:37:52.000 It's not a good look.

01:37:53.000 Another $100 ones, bang it up.

01:37:54.000 This week, my girl and I are having a little boy, first kid, the age of 36.

01:37:57.000 What can I do to raise him out to be a complete failure like Ryan?

01:38:00.000 How dare you?

01:38:01.000 A tickback ride.

01:38:01.000 Do not want a son who jams out on YouTube to four people on a Friday night.

01:38:05.000 I really don't do that anymore.

01:38:06.000 Oh, touche.

01:38:08.000 Touche.

01:38:09.000 That's the old me.

01:38:10.000 I quit vaping.

01:38:11.000 I now chew mastic gum.

01:38:12.000 Okay, stop.

01:38:14.000 I would say, I used to say, don't get your kids, don't be political around your kids and let them find their own way.

01:38:21.000 I regret that one thing, and I would say, red pill them from birth.

01:38:25.000 I'm doing it with my younger kid.

01:38:27.000 My wife said today, she's like, hey, you want to watch the new Bad News Bears to my youngest boy?

01:38:31.000 And he goes, is it woke?

01:38:33.000 Nice.

01:38:34.000 I was like, okay, I got one.

01:38:36.000 The other one, the eldest boy, is apolitical because he sees that it fucked up our families.

01:38:40.000 He's like, I don't want anything to do with that.

01:38:41.000 And then the daughter, I think she might be pretty left.

01:38:45.000 Anyway, let's get to some calls.

01:38:46.000 We're not doing one a minute.

01:38:47.000 Yeah.

01:38:48.000 905.

01:38:49.000 You're on the live.

01:38:51.000 Go ahead, 905.

01:38:53.000 Hello, butt boys.

01:38:55.000 Hi.

01:38:58.000 I've got a plane to catch next week.

01:39:01.000 And as soon as it lands, I'm button past everybody.

01:39:04.000 And I'm going to get to the front of the plane as fast as I can.

01:39:07.000 And there's nothing you or the butt boys can do to stop me.

01:39:11.000 That's not happening, my friend, because we tracked your phone, and we are going to check your itinerary, and I'm going to make sure there's a butt boy on that plane to stop you from going before your row.

01:39:25.000 We're everywhere.

01:39:26.000 If you're in row 18, you should be in the group 18 to get out.

01:39:31.000 It's a very simple concept.

01:39:33.000 So keep dreaming, motherfucker.

01:39:35.000 Goodbye.

01:39:36.000 Thank you for calling.

01:39:37.000 By the way, when I was going to, what was it, Greenville?

01:39:41.000 I was super hungover, and there was a naive-looking Indian, and I obviously mean Dot, not Feather, who looked like he was going to butt.

01:39:50.000 And I was like, I don't want to be a butt boy today, man.

01:39:52.000 I'm weak.

01:39:53.000 I'm fragile.

01:39:54.000 I'm hungover.

01:39:55.000 This guy doesn't seem malicious.

01:39:56.000 He seems naive.

01:39:57.000 And then something in me went, oh, yeah.

01:39:59.000 Do you think the guys on D-Day could say, I'm hungover?

01:40:04.000 Yeah, that's not how it works.

01:40:06.000 They've got to storm the beach anyway.

01:40:07.000 They got to storm the beaches.

01:40:09.000 This is B-Day.

01:40:10.000 You're a butt boy.

01:40:11.000 The second you buy a plane ticket, you're a butt boy.

01:40:15.000 And I fucking got up and I made it clear.

01:40:18.000 And he was like, what's going on, buddy?

01:40:20.000 And I just was sort of like, we're not doing this.

01:40:22.000 He's like, no, you're butt boy.

01:40:23.000 And he wasn't even mad.

01:40:24.000 It wasn't a confrontation at all.

01:40:26.000 I was sweating because I was so hungover.

01:40:29.000 But I was like, just, and I just sort of motioned for him to go back.

01:40:33.000 It was perfectly smooth.

01:40:36.000 Not every butt-boy confrontation is a confrontation.

01:40:39.000 It's often educational.

01:40:41.000 And it's like, hey, man, welcome to America.

01:40:45.000 You're 19.

01:40:46.000 This is 18.

01:40:48.000 So you're going to be after all the 18s.

01:40:52.000 Next call.

01:40:56.000 Okay.

01:40:56.000 We got 580.

01:40:58.000 You're in life.

01:40:59.000 Go ahead there, 580.

01:41:02.000 Hey.

01:41:03.000 Hey.

01:41:05.000 This is, I guess I'm an old monster instead of a baby monster.

01:41:12.000 I'm one year older than you are, Gab.

01:41:14.000 But I was going to say, hey, is Maddie going to be at the show in Dallas?

01:41:19.000 Very likely.

01:41:20.000 Yeah.

01:41:21.000 We'll see how the ticket sales pan out if we can afford it.

01:41:23.000 I'd like to meet y'all all, and I'm going to piss you off because I'm going to get a selfie and an autograph.

01:41:30.000 Yeah, you know what?

01:41:32.000 I take back my aversion to selfies.

01:41:35.000 I get it.

01:41:36.000 It's the fastest way to move things forward.

01:41:38.000 So selfie it up.

01:41:39.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:41:40.000 Next call.

01:41:43.000 53.

01:41:45.000 We got 250 in life.

01:41:49.000 Yeah, 250.

01:41:50.000 Hey, guys.

01:41:51.000 Hey, you still can't hear Ryan, but hey, Gab, you should look up the book of queer on Discovery Channel.

01:41:58.000 They try to claim that Abraham Lincoln was a fag and a few other weird ones.

01:42:05.000 Oh, and that some of the one of the versions of the Bible was written by a gay guy, I guess.

01:42:13.000 I got to say, dude, the Lincoln thing has a little bit of credence to it.

01:42:18.000 Oh, does it?

01:42:19.000 Like, he had his secretary that was his best pal.

01:42:23.000 And he wouldn't hang out with his wife.

01:42:25.000 He was constantly hanging out with his secretary.

01:42:27.000 Oh, look, they're very subtle about it.

01:42:33.000 We'll help you dig it up.

01:42:34.000 There's not a ridiculous.

01:42:36.000 And they show it in Canada, on YouTube, on our TV.

01:42:40.000 Like, they are plowing the book of queer down our throats here.

01:42:45.000 It's unreal.

01:42:47.000 Someone needs to tell everyone what the percentages are.

01:42:51.000 Gays are 1% of the population.

01:42:54.000 Blacks are 14% of America.

01:42:57.000 Canada, it's probably 5.

01:43:01.000 Asians are 5% of America.

01:43:03.000 Jews are 3.5% of Americans.

01:43:08.000 It's all just Hispanics and whites, really, in America here.

01:43:12.000 And all these other oppressed minorities that think they dominate the landscape.

01:43:17.000 I'm sorry.

01:43:18.000 I don't think...

01:43:19.000 Here's a percentage.

01:43:21.000 80% of blacks don't realize that they are 14% of the population.

01:43:25.000 And I think I know why.

01:43:27.000 Because of TV and commercials.

01:43:29.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:43:31.000 Thanks for calling.

01:43:32.000 No, he can't tell me things.

01:43:34.000 He said it first, sir.

01:43:35.000 That's like when you're at the airport and they go, have a nice flight, and you go, you too.

01:43:39.000 And then you go, what the fuck?

01:43:42.000 Yeah.

01:43:43.000 They say that.

01:43:44.000 Why?

01:43:45.000 She's not going on a flight.

01:43:47.000 973, you're on the lee.

01:43:50.000 Go ahead there, 973.

01:43:51.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:43:53.000 It's God.

01:43:54.000 Oh, hi, God.

01:43:55.000 How are you?

01:43:56.000 How are you?

01:43:57.000 Good.

01:43:58.000 Weird messages this month.

01:44:00.000 I know.

01:44:00.000 I have a bone to pick with you.

01:44:02.000 Uh-oh.

01:44:03.000 Do you know why I created the red-hot chili peppers?

01:44:07.000 No.

01:44:09.000 Because they create big fucking hits.

01:44:12.000 Yay.

01:44:14.000 All right.

01:44:15.000 Thanks for calling.

01:44:17.000 Take on Anthony Cumier there?

01:44:19.000 Good spin.

01:44:20.000 Even God needs to call in, they say.

01:44:22.000 There you go.

01:44:23.000 So God likes RHCP.

01:44:24.000 He's a big fan.

01:44:25.000 I assume he likes early RHCP.

01:44:28.000 Like that MoFo party plan stuff.

01:44:31.000 And Ertle the Turtle and all that stuff.

01:44:34.000 He's more of a can't funky punk guy.

01:44:35.000 I can't believe that God likes California Kiss on with his fucking gloves and his long hair and he's all sexy.

01:44:46.000 He likes around the world.

01:44:50.000 That's his favorite.

01:45:03.000 Anthony loves singing red-hot chili peppers, dude.

01:45:06.000 I liked them, though, in the 80s.

01:45:09.000 I remember being fucking 14 and trying to get into the show when they played Ottawa, Canada.

01:45:15.000 And I couldn't get in.

01:45:18.000 Too young.

01:45:30.000 This is Anthony rapping.

01:45:33.000 He does the other hits, too.

01:45:34.000 The other give it away.

01:45:36.000 Let's give it away.

01:45:37.000 He does the other ones.

01:45:38.000 Okay.

01:45:39.000 Let's take some calls.

01:45:40.000 We got 10 minutes left.

01:45:41.000 Okay, Liam, 831.

01:45:44.000 You're on the run.

01:45:46.000 What's going on there, Liam?

01:45:47.000 Yeah, dirty bastard.

01:45:49.000 Hey, is that me?

01:45:50.000 Yes, sir.

01:45:51.000 Is that you?

01:45:52.000 It's both of us.

01:45:52.000 Naddy.

01:45:53.000 What's going on?

01:45:54.000 I have a quick question regarding AIU.

01:45:57.000 I was recently listening to an old episode, and I believe he was saying that he thinks that men should sit down to pee.

01:46:05.000 What do you guys think about that?

01:46:08.000 Obviously, that's wrong.

01:46:09.000 However, if it's the middle of the night and you can't see in the bathroom, I think it's acceptable to sit down.

01:46:18.000 Also, if you're on a first date and you get up in the middle of the night and you don't want her to hear like, and you're using her bathroom, you could sit down.

01:46:30.000 But you've got to watch farts because you're going to unleash the fucking gas.

01:46:34.000 But obviously, in the daytime...

01:46:36.000 You can't sit on the bowl.

01:46:36.000 It amplifies it.

01:46:37.000 It gets louder.

01:46:38.000 Right.

01:46:39.000 So don't fart on the bull if you're trying to be quiet, obviously, that you've just sat on a trombone.

01:46:44.000 But the old thunderbox.

01:46:46.000 If you cannot sit down to pee in the day, there's an arguable excuse for the middle of the night.

01:46:55.000 But if you sit down to pee in the day, you're no friend of mine.

01:46:58.000 And AIU will be off this network if he does it in the day.

01:47:01.000 Tomorrow.

01:47:02.000 He also said that we should be shaving our armpits.

01:47:04.000 How do you feel about that?

01:47:07.000 Man, this guy brings in a lot of subs, so I can't really complain.

01:47:12.000 But God exists.

01:47:14.000 Grow your armpit hair and stand up to pee.

01:47:18.000 Hi, Trimmy.

01:47:20.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:47:22.000 I like how now this is a sign of rebellion.

01:47:24.000 Yeah.

01:47:24.000 I've got armpit hair.

01:47:26.000 I've got armpit bush.

01:47:28.000 Yeah.

01:47:31.000 I call it.

01:47:32.000 Oh, that was the same guy.

01:47:33.000 Wait a minute.

01:47:34.000 Can we just jump to a letter for a second here?

01:47:36.000 Of course.

01:47:37.000 Brittany Grenier is a woman, says Derek.

01:47:41.000 I normally agree with you on just about everything, but not this.

01:47:43.000 I've attached photos from her Sports Illustrated nude photo shoot.

01:47:47.000 Now, it doesn't show her disgusting vagina, but it's pretty clear there's no penis there either.

01:47:52.000 And she'd have to pay some serious hush money to anyone that was on set that day.

01:47:56.000 I still love you and have no feelings towards Ryan.

01:48:00.000 I've looked at these pictures, and I'll admit, this could appear to be a deal breaker.

01:48:08.000 But you've got to understand that someone that is this devoted, Jesus Christ, look at those feet, that is this devoted to their thing, when they tape their dick and balls down,

01:48:24.000 it's not like they use a fucking piece of hockey tape like the way we would if we tried it for the first time.

01:48:29.000 They've been doing this for months and months and months.

01:48:32.000 They have a skin-colored, maxi-pad-ish mesh tape thing, and they're total experts at taping their balls down in between their butt cheeks.

01:48:44.000 Also, while the cameraman was setting up, he's got his hand over his crotch.

01:48:50.000 Go back to that one you just showed and look at those fucking feet.

01:48:56.000 Is this a chick's foot?

01:48:58.000 Wait, what are you doing here?

01:49:00.000 Those are stompers, bro.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, those are a dude.

01:49:03.000 And I'm getting guy vibes from like...

01:49:07.000 Put shorts on that.

01:49:09.000 That looks like a guy's fucking leg, dude.

01:49:12.000 They're from Africa.

01:49:13.000 Guyanese?

01:49:14.000 Or they're Guyanese.

01:49:18.000 Shit.

01:49:19.000 So, like, you're assuming that during this shoot, in between shots, he was just like, all right, should we shoot my cunt?

01:49:26.000 Or we probably don't want my cunt in the shot, right?

01:49:28.000 No, he's being super coy, and he's got, like, a towel.

01:49:32.000 And then when they're ready to shoot, he takes off the towel, and he's like, okay, I think I'm ready now.

01:49:37.000 That doesn't look like a guy, body to you, like for real.

01:49:39.000 Like, just look at that, just isolated.

01:49:43.000 Yeah.

01:49:43.000 See that part?

01:49:44.000 He kind of looks like our trainer, Ryan.

01:49:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:48.000 I remember you mentioned that before.

01:49:50.000 And yeah, I see a little bit of it.

01:49:52.000 The ass, when he's in that jump shot, that ass is a very dude ass.

01:49:57.000 Dudas.

01:49:58.000 Isn't that who killed Jesus Christ?

01:50:00.000 Dudas?

01:50:01.000 Dude ass priest.

01:50:04.000 Anyway, I don't think this is a deal breaker.

01:50:06.000 I'm sorry, let's get back to calls.

01:50:08.000 We've got six minutes left.

01:50:09.000 Six minutes, Dougie, fresh your own.

01:50:12.000 That's nine minutes, actually.

01:50:14.000 Go ahead, Dead Cole.

01:50:15.000 And the lads are in for a surprise.

01:50:18.000 949, you're on the line.

01:50:25.000 He's got a date.

01:50:27.000 The guy on the phone has got a date.

01:50:29.000 Hopefully that's related.

01:50:31.000 Yeah.

01:50:31.000 Can I have one of those guys?

01:50:33.000 I don't even know what his name is.

01:50:34.000 Hello?

01:50:35.000 He's got his phone now.

01:50:36.000 Is this legal to listen to?

01:50:37.000 I like hearing these.

01:50:41.000 He's got a date.

01:50:42.000 Is he wearing high-heeled shoes?

01:50:43.000 He's walking through.

01:50:44.000 You're like, clunk, clink, clunk.

01:50:48.000 It's probably his knife on his cutting board.

01:50:49.000 He's watching Maddie Shell kitchen in the background.

01:50:52.000 Halfway through.

01:50:53.000 Chopping garlic.

01:50:56.000 Sylvia, I feel like we're losing you over there.

01:51:01.000 Okay.

01:51:02.000 You don't find here with this movie.

01:51:07.000 That's true.

01:51:10.000 No one can hear you without your microphone.

01:51:13.000 Your microphone.

01:51:14.000 No one can hear you without it.

01:51:16.000 Women look at the world differently than men.

01:51:21.000 But in the end, why is it women survive longer?

01:51:25.000 Less stress.

01:51:26.000 Longer than men.

01:51:28.000 Do you know why?

01:51:29.000 Less stressful.

01:51:30.000 Women take longer for everything.

01:51:32.000 Because we're the creators of life.

01:51:35.000 That's why.

01:51:36.000 That's the only reason for nature.

01:51:40.000 Twitch calls?

01:51:41.000 I agree with you.

01:51:42.000 Can I have the firearm, please?

01:51:46.000 Firearm.

01:51:49.000 Let's skip to the next call.

01:51:51.000 All right.

01:51:52.000 9.15.

01:51:53.000 You're on the list.

01:51:54.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:51:54.000 How's it going?

01:51:55.000 What's going on?

01:51:55.000 915.

01:51:57.000 Hey.

01:51:58.000 So, Gavin, I'm watching you on Mad as Hell on YouTube.

01:52:02.000 Your live show for free.

01:52:04.000 How do you feel about that?

01:52:05.000 Do you think that's good?

01:52:06.000 Because I'm definitely going to start subscribing you now.

01:52:10.000 Is it on Mad as Hell right now?

01:52:14.000 Yeah.

01:52:14.000 It's live.

01:52:16.000 And how does that work?

01:52:17.000 Mad as Hellfell about doing that.

01:52:19.000 I think we got to shut that down.

01:52:20.000 That's a bit rich.

01:52:21.000 Oh, no, technically.

01:52:24.000 It's fair use because, look, he's in the bottom screen.

01:52:26.000 He's in the bottom corner.

01:52:27.000 And I have another question for you, Gavin.

01:52:29.000 Do you believe the rapture will happen soon?

01:52:31.000 700 people.

01:52:33.000 Yeah, I'm not really worried about 700 people.

01:52:36.000 Do I believe the rapture will happen soon?

01:52:38.000 No.

01:52:39.000 Sorry.

01:52:41.000 Okay.

01:52:41.000 Thank you.

01:52:42.000 All right.

01:52:42.000 Bye.

01:52:44.000 Bye.

01:52:51.000 Never listening to us.

01:52:52.000 I typed in a comment.

01:52:53.000 I said, hey, what the hell?

01:52:55.000 Oh, no.

01:52:56.000 I'm sorry.

01:52:56.000 So what the heck?

01:52:59.000 Um, Jim.

01:53:02.000 Oh, hey there, Jim.

01:53:03.000 678.

01:53:04.000 You're late.

01:53:05.000 Wait, let's do something to get him kicked off of YouTube.

01:53:08.000 What's going on, 678?

01:53:10.000 Jim.

01:53:11.000 Jim.

01:53:11.000 Hey.

01:53:12.000 What's happening?

01:53:14.000 Oh, I'm on.

01:53:15.000 Yeah.

01:53:16.000 Okay.

01:53:17.000 So, I've been trying to, well, my YouTube channels are nothing much, but trying to...

01:53:28.000 We have a great affinity for the Pride Boys, and we want to get together a boxing match.

01:53:41.000 I'm 5'11 and 3 quarters.

01:53:44.000 He's waving at us.

01:53:45.000 One long three.

01:53:46.000 I've tried to get a hold of Gavin to challenge him in a boxing match.

01:53:54.000 Is it legal to fight handicapped people?

01:53:56.000 What are the parameters with this?

01:53:59.000 Trust me, bro.

01:54:00.000 I don't want to go to hell.

01:54:04.000 I would love it.

01:54:06.000 I love you, but I would be drained.

01:54:09.000 Maybe I could drink Drano and try to get to a level where we could be equals.

01:54:16.000 Maybe.

01:54:17.000 Maybe I had a stroke that might make it more even for you, Kevin.

01:54:23.000 I think this is an act to get you to catfish.

01:54:26.000 He's gav fishing you.

01:54:28.000 Oh, so then I go there and he's like, motherfucker, I ain't had no stroke.

01:54:31.000 You're going to die.

01:54:32.000 You just drank Drano for no reason.

01:54:34.000 You're going to die.

01:54:37.000 All right.

01:54:37.000 Wanting to fight a stranger is gay, but yeah, I'm happy to fight you.

01:54:41.000 I would like to get together a fundraiser for the cowboys because they're suffering greatly in jail.

01:54:51.000 So I'd love, if I could, to offer my service.

01:54:57.000 I would like to accept your challenge.

01:55:01.000 And we can do this presently by and by.

01:55:05.000 Get a hold of me.

01:55:06.000 All right.

01:55:08.000 Get his number down, Ryan, and we will set it up.

01:55:13.000 And I can get in a wheelchair with him, or we can get him out of his wheelchair.

01:55:19.000 We could suspend him.

01:55:22.000 We could suspend you on some sort of elastics.

01:55:25.000 I'm from the South, like you've been down to South Carolina thing recently.

01:55:32.000 So one of us didn't know.

01:55:36.000 All right.

01:55:36.000 Thanks for calling.

01:55:37.000 I love how Southerners think they're the only people who fight.

01:55:40.000 Dude, you better watch it.

01:55:41.000 We're from the South.

01:55:42.000 We fight all the time.

01:55:44.000 Yeah, because New Yorkers never fight.

01:55:47.000 New Yorkers have never been in a fight in their lives.

01:55:50.000 They're constantly avoiding conflict.

01:55:52.000 If there's one thing you don't get in New York City, it's conflict.

01:55:55.000 No.

01:55:56.000 Oh, God.

01:55:57.000 That's the best thing about it.

01:55:58.000 Everyone is petrified of combat in New York City.

01:56:05.000 Next call.

01:56:06.000 How many do we have left?

01:56:07.000 Do we plow through these like I hoped we would?

01:56:10.000 Shit.

01:56:11.000 Not even close, right?

01:56:12.000 Hell no.

01:56:13.000 Hell no.

01:56:15.000 We have 11 left.

01:56:16.000 720.

01:56:17.000 Hey guys, how's it going?

01:56:18.000 Hey, finally, a lady.

01:56:22.000 Hey.

01:56:23.000 I called in because I have a better place to move than North Carolina where that guy was from.

01:56:29.000 South Carolina.

01:56:30.000 Okay.

01:56:30.000 I've been talking about Greenville, South Carolina, but okay.

01:56:35.000 Regardless.

01:56:36.000 All right, I'm going to sell you on it before I tell you where because otherwise you'll be like, fuck that.

01:56:40.000 All right.

01:56:41.000 You don't want to be landlocked.

01:56:42.000 You want more shoreline in California.

01:56:45.000 You want somewhere you can wear a hive is and be cool.

01:56:48.000 Your kids can play in the suburbs.

01:56:50.000 Ryan wants to go to Kid Land with his baby.

01:56:53.000 Sometimes.

01:56:54.000 Maddie wants to ride bikes through the hills.

01:56:57.000 And you all want privacy and 2A respected, Right?

01:57:01.000 Yeah, that's a pretty good pitch.

01:57:06.000 Branson, Missouri.

01:57:08.000 Oh my God.

01:57:09.000 What?

01:57:10.000 Branson, Missouri.

01:57:11.000 Isn't that the Russian guys thing?

01:57:13.000 Yakov Shmirnov's dinner adventure.

01:57:15.000 I'll be in Missouri, Missouri.

01:57:17.000 Next week.

01:57:17.000 We're going to Branson a shit ton.

01:57:19.000 It's where we took all our class trips.

01:57:22.000 There's endless shows.

01:57:24.000 You guys won't feel out of place there.

01:57:26.000 We're not 60 years old.

01:57:29.000 Am I like, I want to go to more shows?

01:57:32.000 I'll be in Missouri next week.

01:57:34.000 You'll be in Missouri next week?

01:57:36.000 Yeah.

01:57:38.000 I'll be in Arkansas, Missouri.

01:57:40.000 All through there.

01:57:42.000 Would you show Maddie around?

01:57:44.000 I've been through Branchon.

01:57:47.000 You've been to Branchstone too?

01:57:49.000 Arkansas, Tulsa.

01:57:50.000 I've been all through Missouri.

01:57:53.000 I'll be through that area next week.

01:57:55.000 Is there income tax in Missouri?

01:57:59.000 I heard you ask somebody else that the personal income tax is like 4%, business tax is like 6%.

01:58:07.000 Wow.

01:58:08.000 Do you live there?

01:58:11.000 I'm from there.

01:58:11.000 I lived there for 17 years.

01:58:13.000 But why'd you move?

01:58:14.000 We're going to be moving back as soon as we can.

01:58:17.000 Where do you live now?

01:58:17.000 I'm a very, very small town, and I wanted to go out and see the world.

01:58:21.000 We currently live in Colorado.

01:58:24.000 Well, this is a tough sell if you're in Colorado and you're talking about how awesome your hometown is.

01:58:29.000 Colorado.

01:58:30.000 We're moving back.

01:58:32.000 Okay.

01:58:33.000 Nice.

01:58:33.000 All right.

01:58:34.000 Interesting.

01:58:35.000 Like, I know when I first brought this up, I got a million suggestions and I put them all on a topographical map.

01:58:43.000 And there'd be like a Branson, Missouri, and a Montana and Indiana.

01:58:49.000 But the density of dots around eastern Kentucky, North Carolina, and South Carolina was insane.

01:58:58.000 Knoxville, Charlotte, Asheville, Greensboro.

01:59:00.000 Everybody knows that we have so much water.

01:59:02.000 You could own a boat and ride your bike through the woods.

01:59:06.000 There are horse shows and petting farms for the kids.

01:59:09.000 Oh, and your boy loves baseball.

01:59:12.000 Baseball is the pitch in Missouri.

01:59:15.000 My school didn't have football.

01:59:17.000 It had basketball and baseball.

01:59:20.000 Okay, good suggestion.

01:59:21.000 Thanks for calling.

01:59:22.000 Interesting.

01:59:23.000 We'll check it out.

01:59:24.000 I have a quick idea here.

01:59:25.000 I mean, well, we don't have time for your idea, unfortunately, Ryan.

01:59:28.000 We're out of time.

01:59:29.000 It's 10 o'clock.

01:59:31.000 Maybe you could do your idea tomorrow.

01:59:34.000 A celebrity.

01:59:36.000 What are you doing?

01:59:37.000 Well, I just thought maybe it'd be a good idea for our free viewers to enjoy one of the greatest movies ever.

01:59:44.000 It's called Star Wars, you see.

01:59:47.000 Oh, great.

01:59:48.000 Yes, and we also have...

01:59:49.000 That's fun.

01:59:50.000 Why is the screen black?

01:59:52.000 Well, let's see.

01:59:54.000 Oh, look at this.

01:59:54.000 We've got R2D2.

01:59:56.000 And the good thing is, like, one of the greatest bands ever.

01:59:58.000 Let's not talk over it and ruin it.

02:00:00.000 Your boy loves baseball.

02:00:02.000 When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary.

02:00:06.000 Oh, the Beatles and Star Wars.

02:00:08.000 My two favorite things.

02:00:11.000 Let it be.

02:00:15.000 And in my arm of darkness, she's standing right in front of me.

02:00:21.000 Speaking words of wisdom.

02:00:24.000 Let it be.

02:00:25.000 It kind of works.

02:00:25.000 Yeah, it does.

02:00:26.000 It's like Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon.

02:00:33.000 And it's kind of like...

02:00:35.000 Hey, Luke, just stay home.

02:00:36.000 It's going to get real shitty out there.

02:00:39.000 They're going to beat your dad.

02:00:40.000 He's going to chop your hand off.

02:00:42.000 Stay home in fucking that two moon place.

02:00:46.000 Luke always wanted to give peace a chance, too.

02:00:48.000 Yeah.

02:00:49.000 You've got some cool robots.

02:00:50.000 Oh, looks like he's choosing not to show this.

02:00:54.000 There's a reason.

02:00:55.000 That's a shame.

02:00:57.000 We're going to cut you off, Matt as hell.

02:00:59.000 Here, see what you can do with them.

02:01:01.000 I'll be right back.

02:01:04.000 So, yeah, we have a lot of fun shows coming out.

02:01:07.000 We're talking to Isabella Reilly about a show.

02:01:10.000 We're talking to Anna Perez about a show.

02:01:13.000 And we're talking to Pat Dixon about a show.

02:01:16.000 Nice.

02:01:18.000 We'll try them out, see how they do with the viewers, see if any baby monsters are interested.

02:01:23.000 If they're not, they're gone.

02:01:25.000 And until tomorrow, get fired.

02:01:29.000 Get in trouble.

02:01:30.000 Be brave.

02:01:31.000 Oh, wait.

02:01:31.000 Thanks, Sylvia, for coming.

02:01:33.000 Thank you, Phil.

02:01:33.000 Thank you.

02:01:34.000 Maddie O'Dell for your rapporteur.

02:01:35.000 Thank you.

02:01:36.000 Thank you.

02:01:40.000 Free spirit.

02:01:41.000 Free spirit.

02:01:42.000 I love it.

02:01:43.000 Get fired.

02:01:44.000 Get in trouble.

02:01:45.000 Be brave.

02:01:46.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 12, 2022

GOML LIVE #161 - FREE BRITNEY 2!

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