Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #162 - NO WACK PACK (Part 1)

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:01:12.000 That was Psychic TV.

00:01:18.000 Starring Genesis P. Orridge.

00:01:21.000 One of the lifelong eccentrics of the modern world.

00:01:25.000 I mean, this guy has been a weirdo since before you were born.

00:01:29.000 And I respect that.

00:01:31.000 He commits to the bit.

00:01:33.000 It's interesting that this song goes, where were you?

00:01:37.000 Talking about where were you, we were the originals.

00:01:40.000 And Gen X, my favorite band, has a song called, where were you in 75 when there were no gigs?

00:01:48.000 We were jamming.

00:01:54.000 Maybe Billy Idol got it from Genesis P. Orge.

00:02:01.000 Because Genesis P. Orridge started Generation X. What happened was the Sex Pistols were the sex band, meaning the clothing store Sex, Malcolm McLaren's shop.

00:02:17.000 They not only had a clothing store, they had their own punk band, a rock band.

00:02:22.000 So the guys of Boy of London, who Genesis P. Orridge helped create, go, we want a band.

00:02:30.000 So Genesis goes, okay, what about Chelsea?

00:02:34.000 Because your store's in Chelsea.

00:02:36.000 And they go, great, let's get, who do you got?

00:02:38.000 And they got Billy Idol, they got a bunch of guys, and then they changed their name to Generation X. Created a band that might be as good as the Sex Pistols?

00:02:47.000 I don't know.

00:02:49.000 Turn this up, these guys.

00:03:00.000 It's all about Brian Jones.

00:03:02.000 Genesis thinks that Brian Jones was murdered.

00:03:06.000 Apparently he was trying to start a band with Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix.

00:03:13.000 And that's too much rock?

00:03:16.000 I don't know what... The problem with these conspiracy theorists is, what's the motive?

00:03:21.000 So Genesis is like, too much rock.

00:03:25.000 I actually don't know what he thinks the motive is, but...

00:03:31.000 I sort of got into a rabbit hole with these guys because of this Nardwaur interview that A Baby Monster sent. 1.00

00:03:40.000 1-3.

00:03:40.000 It's a really good interview.

00:03:41.000 It's really fun. 1.00

00:03:42.000 By the way, that guy's a fucking, whatever you think of him, you call him a decrepit tranny. 1.00

00:03:49.000 He's got fake tits. 1.00

00:03:50.000 He's a man. 1.00

00:03:51.000 He was doing trans before anyone even thought of it.

00:03:54.000 He got a bunch of plastic surgery to look like his wife, which has never been done.

00:03:59.000 That's pretty impressive.

00:04:02.000 The guy's 70.

00:04:04.000 He looks better than my dad.

00:04:07.000 Sorry.

00:04:08.000 Sorry, Jimmy McInnes. 0.99

00:04:10.000 But this lunatic mental patient must be doing something, right? 0.95

00:04:17.000 Anyway, it's weird. 0.98

00:04:18.000 Play some of that.

00:04:19.000 It's funny hearing Nardwar's accent juxtaposed.

00:04:30.000 You know, he reminds me of Givo Shea, my friend from Crass who doesn't love me anymore because I'm Trump.

00:04:35.000 But they always have, like, all these old punks, all these old anarchists, all these old hippies.

00:04:40.000 They have this whole thinking outside the box thing.

00:04:44.000 Where you're like, do you want me to pass you the salt?

00:04:47.000 Why pass anything?

00:04:48.000 Why not throw me the salt?

00:04:51.000 Everything has got to be weird.

00:04:56.000 Why speak into the microphone?

00:05:01.000 Why not speak outside of the microphone?

00:05:03.000 What is a question?

00:05:10.000 That's Ed Lee O'Dell, that's me.

00:05:12.000 Welcome to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

00:05:16.000 Thank you.

00:05:17.000 Right off the bat, Genesis, I have a gift for you.

00:05:21.000 Brian, come back, you

00:05:25.000 I'll forgive him. 1.00

00:05:26.000 Bastard! 0.99

00:05:28.000 Anyway, you get it. 1.00

00:05:29.000 You can look that up on your own.

00:05:31.000 Silk City Hot Sauce is sponsoring the show.

00:05:34.000 Guys, we already sold out of the G-Sauce in two weeks.

00:05:37.000 I gotta say, we get a lot of product reviews.

00:05:40.000 People seem happy with the things we promote, but nothing like this Silk City Hot Sauce. 0.98

00:05:46.000 People are fucking tripping over themselves to ingest it.

00:05:51.000 My limited 500 bottle rum with Silk City is gone, but we're announcing five new sauces in the next two weeks. 0.98

00:05:56.000 We're going to have Sauce 1, G-Spot.

00:05:59.000 G-Spot is hot.

00:06:00.000 That's the one we just sold.

00:06:01.000 We're going to reproduce that.

00:06:03.000 Sauce 2, It Ain't Easy Being G. It's going to be a little sweeter. 1.00

00:06:07.000 Great for chicken and brisket tacos.

00:06:09.000 500 bottles.

00:06:10.000 Sauce 3, Ghost.

00:06:13.000 Ghost is bad news, guys.

00:06:17.000 Listeners can submit logo artwork for our ghost sauce made with ghost peppers.

00:06:21.000 It's a very wild ride.

00:06:23.000 Very dangerous.

00:06:25.000 The winner will receive a gift box from the Censored.TV team.

00:06:28.000 This is our Halloween sauce.

00:06:29.000 Get in the Halloween spirit and make some artwork.

00:06:32.000 Sauce for, of course, is Ryan getting his own sauce, which I call Ryan Jizz.

00:06:36.000 I thought that would be a fun name for it.

00:06:37.000 That would be cool.

00:06:38.000 And just like that Kiss comic book.

00:06:39.000 Remember that?

00:06:40.000 They all put a little bit of their blood inside of the red ink.

00:06:43.000 Right, you should put a bit of jizz in there. 0.99

00:06:44.000 Just like you put a little tiny bit of jizz in your wife every year and a half. 1.00

00:06:47.000 Just about.

00:06:49.000 Matty's getting his own sauce.

00:06:51.000 500 bottles. 0.99

00:06:52.000 That's called don't joke about Matty or I'll kill you.

00:06:56.000 Chime in with what flavors you want to taste.

00:06:57.000 We're all open to suggestions.

00:06:58.000 Guys, thanks for supporting.

00:07:00.000 Silkcityhotsauce.com.

00:07:04.000 Promo code Gavin gets you 15% off every order.

00:07:07.000 That includes our signature sauces.

00:07:09.000 I'm kind of surprised what a hit this was.

00:07:12.000 Yeah.

00:07:12.000 You know what Maddie's could be?

00:07:14.000 Your throat here.

00:07:15.000 You know he's got that tattoo?

00:07:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:16.000 That's a great idea.

00:07:17.000 But it's in like hell. 0.92

00:07:18.000 Like your throat here.

00:07:19.000 Yeah, it's gonna hurt your throat. 0.99

00:07:21.000 I'm not gonna kill you, but it's gonna hurt your throat. 0.99

00:07:23.000 These are collector items. 0.91

00:07:25.000 Let us know what sauce you like best.

00:07:26.000 We'll make it more of it for you.

00:07:27.000 Promo code Gavin, 15% off every order.

00:07:30.000 Silkyhotsauce.com.

00:07:31.000 Promo code Gavin gets you 15% off every order.

00:07:35.000 Guys, I want to say, 0.96

00:07:38.000 Much to my chagrin, because I asked you to send me high-vis tees and you sent me fucking dozens. 0.96

00:07:45.000 So now I'm looking at a thousand dollar bill. 0.95

00:07:47.000 But we finally got our high-vis tees.

00:07:50.000 They look sick.

00:07:52.000 And you know what I love about wearing these?

00:07:54.000 No one knows that I'm wearing my own shirt.

00:07:57.000 Right.

00:07:59.000 So there's the front.

00:08:01.000 Here's the back.

00:08:02.000 La Frenta.

00:08:03.000 GOML Lawn Care.

00:08:07.000 Real phone number.

00:08:08.000 You have a mouse on your head for some reason.

00:08:10.000 I'm not sure why that is.

00:08:11.000 Me and my wife were trying to figure that out.

00:08:13.000 I was like, either it's because I have a rat's nest on my head, some would say, or it's like a Ratatouille thing, where I could only be smart enough to mow a lawn if there was a rat controlling me in a Disney-esque fashion.

00:08:26.000 That's way too ambitious.

00:08:27.000 Let me text the guy who made the shirt.

00:08:30.000 I'm smart enough to think of that. 0.89

00:08:33.000 No, because that's a retarded eerie. 0.99

00:08:35.000 Wait, okay, well. 0.55

00:08:37.000 Here, let's call again.

00:08:38.000 I'm trying to get this yellow matched. 0.85

00:08:39.000 It's really fucking hard.

00:08:45.000 Here, this is what it actually looks like, guys. 0.89

00:08:48.000 No, it doesn't look like that.

00:08:49.000 Well, that's the yellow.

00:08:51.000 That's the orange.

00:08:52.000 Hey man, you're on the show.

00:08:53.000 Don't say your name or your home address or your pin.

00:08:56.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:58.000 Oh, great.

00:08:59.000 What's up, guys?

00:09:00.000 Hey, we got the shirts. 0.92

00:09:01.000 We're fucking thrilled. 0.94

00:09:01.000 They look beautiful. 0.94

00:09:06.000 Why is there a mouse in Ryan's hair?

00:09:12.000 Because he always makes fun of him how he watches cartoons.

00:09:16.000 My thought process was the whole Ratatouille thing.

00:09:23.000 He's controlling him, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:09:25.000 Okay, so that was his theory and I just told him that's fucking idiotic. 1.00

00:09:30.000 It's still idiotic. 1.00

00:09:33.000 That was my thought process too with his lawnmower. 1.00

00:09:36.000 It's like a toy lawnmower.

00:09:38.000 That's why it's all chunky and stuff like that. 1.00

00:09:41.000 He's too stupid to mow a lawn, so he needs a rat in his hair telling him how to do it. 0.99

00:09:47.000 And his grass, you'll see, it's pushed down. 1.00

00:09:49.000 It's not cut.

00:09:50.000 It's just like his grass is pushed down.

00:09:52.000 Like my hair. 0.55

00:09:52.000 It's like anything kind of retarded I was thinking of. 0.55

00:09:56.000 What's, like, the dumbest thing that somebody could do is, like, using a toy lawnmower on real grass while a mouse is controlling them? 0.94

00:10:02.000 I have a flat tire as well. 0.83

00:10:04.000 I don't know how it goes.

00:10:05.000 Yeah, one of them is flat. 0.99

00:10:06.000 You know, you Mexicans got a lot of balls making fun of the Japanese. 1.00

00:10:10.000 Oh, yeah, man. 1.00

00:10:11.000 We hate all races, especially Chinese and blacks. 1.00

00:10:15.000 All right. 1.00

00:10:16.000 Thanks, Beast. 1.00

00:10:18.000 That guy sucks, man. 1.00

00:10:20.000 I hate him. 1.00

00:10:22.000 He seems pretty cool to me. 1.00

00:10:24.000 Oh yeah, he's a fucking racist. 1.00

00:10:25.000 Racist is gross. 1.00

00:10:26.000 Yes, we don't like that. 1.00

00:10:27.000 He humiliated you.

00:10:29.000 He tried.

00:10:30.000 So we're gonna find out what his phone number is and cancel his... You just called him.

00:10:33.000 We're gonna cancel his prescription.

00:10:35.000 Okay, well that's... okay.

00:10:38.000 In other news, great news, the turgid tattletale Brian Stetler has been fired for being annoying.

00:10:46.000 Yes.

00:10:48.000 That makes me feel good.

00:10:49.000 You like to see your enemies fail.

00:10:53.000 I got a bunch of clips on that.

00:10:58.000 Maybe start with one of them.

00:11:01.000 You know what I realized about my hair recently?

00:11:03.000 It's cultural appropriation.

00:11:06.000 I have a Jewfro.

00:11:07.000 I have a Scottish Jewfro.

00:11:10.000 I wear black woman's perm cream and I get this gorgeous locks with this brilliant sheen.

00:11:19.000 I am appropriating black culture. 1.00

00:11:22.000 I'm like Beyonce in reverse.

00:11:24.000 But aren't they appropriating white culture by making their hair straight anyway? 1.00

00:11:29.000 Well, white cultures always had bro cream.

00:11:33.000 So they just have like the best bro cream in the universe.

00:11:38.000 So let's show this.

00:11:39.000 He's gone. 0.98

00:11:39.000 Sorry, your ratings suck. 0.98

00:11:40.000 Look at his fucking face! 1.00

00:11:44.000 Look at this guy's face! 1.00

00:11:47.000 Look at his face!

00:11:48.000 What is that?

00:11:50.000 What is that thing?

00:11:52.000 That is the best argument for abortion I've ever seen. 0.69

00:11:55.000 It's a weird beaver egg.

00:11:59.000 He's a beaver egg. 0.86

00:12:02.000 One time, back when I was on Twitter, I said, it's so weird to go through my feed and see this weird, disgusting little man saying his opinions and he's in my hand. 0.97

00:12:11.000 And then he banned me immediately.

00:12:15.000 Look at him.

00:12:16.000 It's Brian Stelter.

00:12:17.000 There it is.

00:12:17.000 Oh my God.

00:12:19.000 I mean, that is a horror movie cover.

00:12:21.000 Seriously, he is scarier looking than Hit the Clown.

00:12:24.000 I mean, would you let your children anywhere near that psychopath? 0.99

00:12:28.000 I mean, that is a psychopath right there. 0.98

00:12:31.000 I mean, look at him. 0.99

00:12:32.000 God.

00:12:33.000 He goes off on his face.

00:12:35.000 It cries out, danger, danger, alert, alert. 1.00

00:12:39.000 I am a scumbag. 1.00

00:12:41.000 I am filth. 1.00

00:12:42.000 I am your enemy.

00:12:44.000 So he treads, like, lightly now after this whole, like, defamation thing, but he comes really close to saying that basically he's like, you don't trust him around your kids.

00:12:54.000 Yeah, I wouldn't trust him around my kids.

00:12:56.000 Would you?

00:12:56.000 Allegedly, I would not.

00:12:57.000 Would you let Daphne be babysat by Brian Stelter?

00:13:00.000 Allegedly, I wouldn't even have her in the same room as Stutler. 0.98

00:13:03.000 Allegedly.

00:13:05.000 Someone reminded me of this while talking about him where he talked about how the pandemic got so bad he cried.

00:13:11.000 He crawled into bed and cried.

00:13:14.000 If I crawled into bed.

00:13:16.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:13:16.000 You got the right link.

00:13:18.000 CNN's Brian Stelter crawled in bed and cried over coronavirus.

00:13:23.000 Whose bed?

00:13:24.000 Derek's?

00:13:25.000 Yeah, your own bed?

00:13:27.000 Imagine you crawled in bed and cried.

00:13:30.000 You'd be like, did your mom die?

00:13:32.000 No worse.

00:13:33.000 Oh, you're, you're, you got prostate cancer?

00:13:37.000 No way worse.

00:13:39.000 Um, I have a pretty good imagination, but I'm kind of stumped right now.

00:13:43.000 People are having to wear masks and stay at home due to a made up pandemic.

00:13:48.000 A plandemic.

00:13:50.000 Oh, okay.

00:13:51.000 Well, that's not your problem. 1.00

00:13:54.000 You fucking turgid pussy. 1.00

00:13:56.000 He's right guys. 1.00

00:14:00.000 Look at his red socks.

00:14:01.000 This is what he will be remembered for this.

00:14:05.000 Maybe I am a Yankees fan because I hate his red socks.

00:14:07.000 I mean, frankly, if you look at it. 1.00

00:14:13.000 Okay, so that guy fucked up. 1.00

00:14:18.000 And then Stelter showed this. 1.00

00:14:24.000 Me, me, me. 1.00

00:14:27.000 So much of this shit is megalomania too. 1.00

00:14:30.000 Not just leftist politics or CNN, but trans shit. 1.00

00:14:35.000 Every time you really analyze the left, you get hit with this tsunami of self-indulgence and megalomania. 1.00

00:14:41.000 By the way, men in red socks is like kinky. 0.97

00:14:46.000 You know what I mean?

00:14:47.000 Yeah.

00:14:48.000 Like our socks should be black for suits.

00:14:50.000 I've got a little secret.

00:14:51.000 Grey.

00:14:52.000 Wait, you have tons of red socks?

00:14:54.000 You're wearing them now?

00:14:56.000 No, that's like a little, I got a little secret.

00:14:58.000 It's like a weird sexy thing. 1.00

00:14:59.000 Like if my wife wore red socks, I'd probably rape her in the hallway. 1.00

00:15:04.000 Because I'd be so horny because it's kind of weird. 1.00

00:15:08.000 You know? 0.75

00:15:09.000 But a man wearing red socks, it's very sexual.

00:15:14.000 It's very unusually sexual.

00:15:18.000 What are you doing, Ryan?

00:15:21.000 You sound like you're taking off some socks and throwing them away.

00:15:31.000 Is that Brian Stetler?

00:15:33.000 It's supposed to be.

00:15:34.000 You sound like a chick. 0.99

00:15:37.000 No, this is how Brian Stittler talks.

00:15:39.000 Listen.

00:15:39.000 This was me live on CNN with just two minutes notice talking with Wolf Blitzer about Trump's Twitter account being banned.

00:15:48.000 You remind me of publicity.

00:15:50.000 Let's follow his career according to Carpe Donctum from day one.

00:15:55.000 It's been quite a trajectory.

00:15:58.000 Go! 0.95

00:16:00.000 Make it bigger.

00:16:06.000 My brains! 0.98

00:16:11.000 I'm going into my... Ludicrous speed! 0.98

00:16:15.000 Go! 0.95

00:16:15.000 Hmm. 0.95

00:16:30.000 Here's something crazy.

00:16:32.000 I'm not an atheist.

00:16:34.000 I'm a Catholic.

00:16:35.000 I believe in God.

00:16:36.000 I think it's inarguable, but I'm happy to argue it.

00:16:39.000 But I saw Sam Harris.

00:16:40.000 I read his book, The End of Faith.

00:16:42.000 Really good book.

00:16:43.000 Fascinating read.

00:16:44.000 He's a great reader, writer.

00:16:48.000 I like that he dared to attack Islam more than any other religion. 1.00

00:16:53.000 But I can hang out with atheists.

00:16:56.000 I would say our number two most watched videos on censored.tv are Atheism is Unstoppable. 0.64

00:17:04.000 No problem with that.

00:17:05.000 It's a different angle. 0.97

00:17:06.000 He's got a lot of intelligent shit to say about pop culture, so yeah, come on board. 0.99

00:17:11.000 We disagree about God? 1.00

00:17:12.000 Who fucking cares? 0.99

00:17:14.000 Who cares if your co-workers disagree? 0.99

00:17:20.000 Sam Harris, I think atheism is unstoppable, but AIU is a big fan of Sam Harris. 1.00

00:17:26.000 Sam Harris said this today, and I'm just like, you're smart, but you're a fucking 1.00

00:17:33.000 Retard! 1.00

00:17:34.000 I mean, Hunter Biden, at that point, Hunter Biden literally could have had the corpses of children in his basement.

00:17:42.000 I would not have cared, right?

00:17:44.000 What?

00:17:44.000 There's nothing.

00:17:46.000 First of all, it's Hunter Biden, right?

00:17:48.000 It's not Joe Biden, but even if Joe Biden- No, they're linked.

00:17:52.000 Whatever scope of Joe Biden's corruption is, if we could just go down that rabbit hole endlessly and understand that he's getting kickbacks from Hunter Biden's deals in Ukraine or wherever else, right?

00:18:04.000 Or China.

00:18:06.000 It is infinitesimal.

00:18:09.000 Compared to the corruption we know Trump is involved in.

00:18:13.000 It's like a firefly to the sun.

00:18:17.000 It doesn't even stack up against Trump University.

00:18:22.000 Trump University is the same as Bounce U. It's the same as if we did Censored U.

00:18:31.000 We would set up a course, hey, we'll have like Devin, me, Anthony, do a thing, teach you how to, I don't know, analyze media, some bullshit, and we give you a degree at the end.

00:18:44.000 We'd all put in like 30 hours of work and eventually, it's a totally rational, plausible business plan.

00:18:51.000 My brother was actually trying to make us do this, make us do this, help us do this.

00:18:58.000 Lots of people do this, they have these courses, right?

00:19:01.000 It's no one for a second with an IQ over 80 thinks that it's a literal university.

00:19:11.000 When you go to Trump U you get it's a crash course in how to do real estate. 0.89

00:19:17.000 It's a very helpful silly little course.

00:19:20.000 No one thinks you have a PhD in it. 1.00

00:19:23.000 It's not fraudulent, you fucking moron. 1.00

00:19:26.000 How is a guy this smart such a fucking idiot? 1.00

00:19:31.000 Trump you? 1.00

00:19:33.000 Really? 1.00

00:19:34.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:19:35.000 How about that? 1.00

00:19:36.000 You have a PhD in fuck you. 1.00

00:19:38.000 You like that? 1.00

00:19:41.000 Yes.

00:19:45.000 ...is worse than anything that could be in Hunter Biden's laptop.

00:19:49.000 Wait, hold on, hold on.

00:19:51.000 Wow.

00:19:51.000 So, Hunter Biden was setting up deals with the Chinese and with Ukraine, and he was using his vice president father as the big guy to help facilitate these deals.

00:20:05.000 Not just the mining thing in Ukraine, but major hedge funds, along with, I think it was John Kerry's son,

00:20:13.000 Where they are getting multi-million dollar kickbacks, quid pro quo total corruption.

00:20:19.000 When Biden found out they were investigating it, this is Vice President Biden, he bragged about it on air and said, by the time I land my plane on my six hour flight, this investigator is going to be fired.

00:20:32.000 So these guys are involved in using Obama and Vice President Biden to facilitate major global deals.

00:20:41.000 Millions and millions of dollars. 1.00

00:20:44.000 Yes, the crack cocaine shit is bad. 1.00

00:20:46.000 All that shit is bad. 1.00

00:20:47.000 But also, the crack cocaine shit is also bad because it can be used by our enemies to bribe you. 1.00

00:20:55.000 To facilitate other deals where we're going to show fucking Hunter Biden's dick in some 16 year old. 1.00

00:21:03.000 So it's not just random crack use we're concerned about. 1.00

00:21:07.000 No one's cared about that for a long time.

00:21:09.000 We're worried about how it affects the most powerful administration in the world, the most powerful country in the world.

00:21:17.000 It's not irrelevant, Sam.

00:21:20.000 What's the matter with you? 1.00

00:21:21.000 I fucking hate this guy now. 1.00

00:21:23.000 And I think I remember, I got a warning sign a long time ago where he, a good red flag is shitting on Proud Boys. 1.00

00:21:31.000 If they say the Proud Boys are violent or racist or something, you know you're dealing with someone who's not necessarily an idiot, but who is not really involved in what they're saying. 0.99

00:21:42.000 They'll throw people under the bus without doing any research. 0.98

00:21:46.000 Basically you sound like someone made you say that Like when I shit on Sam Harris allegedly at 825 make sure you say the script I sent you and I almost forgot to so I rushed it out I don't want to get fired and then they will throw you under the bus no matter what happens. 1.00

00:22:05.000 Yeah Keep going with this fucker 1.00

00:22:13.000 Now that's not, that doesn't answer the people who say it's still completely unfair to not have looked at the laptop in a timely way and to have shut down the, you know, the New York Post's Twitter account. 0.99

00:22:27.000 Like that's just a conspiracy, that's a left-wing conspiracy to deny the presidency to Donald Trump.

00:22:34.000 Absolutely it was, absolutely, right?

00:22:37.000 But I think it was warranted.

00:22:38.000 Right.

00:22:39.000 And again, it's a coin toss as to whether or not that particular piece is... Sam, I'm sorry.

00:22:42.000 I'm really sorry.

00:22:43.000 I was the one that said we should move on, but you've just said something I really struggle with, which is you support... The kids in the basement?

00:22:51.000 No, no. 1.00

00:22:51.000 Fuck the kids in the basement. 1.00

00:22:53.000 I'm interested in democracy. 1.00

00:22:55.000 You're saying you are content

00:22:57.000 With a left-wing conspiracy to prevent somebody being democratically re-elected as president.

00:23:03.000 Well, no, I'm content, but the thing is it's just not left-wing, right?

00:23:06.000 So Liz Cheney is not left-wing, right? 0.99

00:23:09.000 Liz Cheney is doing everything in her power.

00:23:10.000 You're content with a conspiracy to prevent somebody being democratically re-elected?

00:23:13.000 No, but there's nothing, conspiracy, it's not, it was a conspiracy out in the open, but it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what part's conspiracy.

00:23:20.000 Did you miss the part where he said, 1.00

00:23:23.000 He said, oh, Gavin McInnes and his loser balls that are ugly. 1.00

00:23:27.000 What? 1.00

00:23:27.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:23:29.000 Oh, I thought I'd watched that video before.

00:23:31.000 Oh you did? 1.00

00:23:32.000 What's the matter with my balls? 1.00

00:23:34.000 No one's ever insulted my balls before. 1.00

00:23:35.000 I think I'll rewind it a little bit. 0.98

00:23:38.000 It doesn't matter what part's conspiracy, what part's out in the open. 0.99

00:23:43.000 He's still talking about your balls. 0.97

00:23:44.000 Like which ball is out in the open. 0.99

00:23:45.000 When you wear short shorts, one of them might be out in the open.

00:23:48.000 I don't like that. 0.99

00:23:49.000 Yeah, no, it's fucked up. 1.00

00:23:50.000 I don't like the guy. 1.00

00:23:51.000 Dick. 1.00

00:23:51.000 Now I hate him twice as much. 1.00

00:23:53.000 One for each ball.

00:23:54.000 What should we do about this phenomenon?

00:23:57.000 He said one's wrinkly, one's smooth.

00:24:00.000 Don't it's a wrinkly ball.

00:24:02.000 Is that true?

00:24:04.000 I don't know. 0.98

00:24:04.000 I don't think I felt my balls in like years. 0.98

00:24:07.000 Hmm Normal grape, feeling a normal grape. 0.98

00:24:12.000 Gotcha.

00:24:13.000 Grape isn't a great size either.

00:24:14.000 He mentioned that too.

00:24:16.000 Big grape.

00:24:17.000 Mmm, the biggest grape ever.

00:24:19.000 Big grape, feeling a normal big grape.

00:24:22.000 There's definitely zero texture to these things as far as what I can feel.

00:24:26.000 Okay.

00:24:27.000 It seems like he's, I don't know, he's got his facts all over the place.

00:24:30.000 If there was an asteroid hurtling toward Earth. 1.00

00:24:31.000 I was talking about your ass. 1.00

00:24:33.000 Anyway, but here's some of the comments that Posobic retweeted about him. 0.99

00:24:38.000 Oh wait, no, that's not it.

00:24:39.000 Here we go.

00:24:39.000 Elon Musk wants Republicans to be nice and Sam Harris wants to lock up his opponents.

00:24:43.000 See the problem?

00:24:44.000 Here's another one.

00:24:45.000 Anyone notice these supposed atheists and intellectuals always use children as their examples?

00:24:48.000 Yeah, that's a big thing.

00:24:50.000 He did.

00:24:51.000 He literally did. 1.00

00:24:52.000 By the way, when anyone uses your children in an analogy or in an argument, they're a fucking idiot evil person. 1.00

00:25:00.000 What if your daughter was raped? 1.00

00:25:03.000 How do you feel now? 1.00

00:25:05.000 Well, I feel irrational and angry and I want to kill everyone. 0.99

00:25:09.000 Okay, now I want to argue with you. 0.98

00:25:11.000 He wouldn't have cared if Hunter Biden literally had corpses of children in his basement.

00:25:17.000 That's not a great quote there, Sammy Boy.

00:25:18.000 I wouldn't care.

00:25:19.000 I would be pretty carey.

00:25:20.000 Isn't that how we caught John Wayne Gacy? 1.00

00:25:23.000 He had a bunch of kids in his fucking, under his deck. 0.99

00:25:26.000 Yeah, do you not care about him? 1.00

00:25:27.000 Or what do you do? 0.99

00:25:30.000 What a fucking... Next subject, before we start the show. 0.99

00:25:36.000 This guy David Weissman came up while I was looking at that tweet, and that guy's so fucking weird, man. 0.99

00:25:42.000 David Weiss?

00:25:43.000 He's one of the weirdest people I know.

00:25:45.000 No?

00:25:46.000 David Weissman.

00:25:47.000 Okay.

00:25:48.000 Look at his picture.

00:25:51.000 Army vet.

00:25:52.000 Former Republican. 1.00

00:25:54.000 Fucking badass. 1.00

00:25:55.000 Murderer. 1.00

00:25:57.000 Guy who fucking throws people over tanks. 1.00

00:26:01.000 My dick fucks chicks. 1.00

00:26:03.000 I don't even know about it. 1.00

00:26:04.000 I'm asleep and I wake up and some chick is slapping me. 1.00

00:26:08.000 I'm like, what the fuck's the problem? 1.00

00:26:09.000 And I find out my anaconda went out partying and fucked tons of chicks. 1.00

00:26:16.000 And my cock has like a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses on. 1.00

00:26:21.000 Like Sanjay and Craig, that cartoon with the snake. 1.00

00:26:24.000 And I'm like, dude, what the fuck did you do? 0.99

00:26:27.000 All these chicks are pissed off at me. 1.00

00:26:30.000 Sorry, man, I gotta get laid and you're a pussy and a fag. 1.00

00:26:33.000 Fag? 1.00

00:26:35.000 I fucked Eva Mendez all day. 1.00

00:26:36.000 Yeah, that's one chick. 1.00

00:26:38.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:26:40.000 You know what? 1.00

00:26:40.000 Fuck you, dick. 1.00

00:26:42.000 Pull up Sanjay and Craig. 1.00

00:26:44.000 So that's what you think when you see that picture. 1.00

00:26:46.000 You go, Jesus Christ, that guy has constant fights with his dick over the various women they fuck together, separately, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:26:55.000 I had him on my show a million years ago. 1.00

00:26:59.000 But that's his dick. 1.00

00:27:05.000 All right, let's see here. 0.99

00:27:10.000 I don't like that that Sanjay is or Craig is voiced by that annoying nerd Chris Hardwell Hardwick, whatever.

00:27:18.000 Oh, yeah, where'd he go?

00:27:20.000 Oh, he does the he does like talking Saul.

00:27:23.000 Oh, he does that?

00:27:24.000 Okay.

00:27:24.000 Yeah, Better Call Saul.

00:27:25.000 Which, you watch a fictional show, you don't want to see it explained.

00:27:29.000 Yeah, that's what you should be doing with your friends afterwards.

00:27:31.000 With the producer and the director and stuff.

00:27:33.000 By the way, I get all these emails, people are like, so do you think the ending was gay or do you think it was awesome?

00:27:38.000 And I'm like, wait, that was the end?

00:27:41.000 Oh.

00:27:42.000 I didn't know.

00:27:44.000 I'm all excited for next Tuesday.

00:27:46.000 Oh.

00:27:47.000 It's over, dude.

00:27:49.000 It didn't feel endy?

00:27:51.000 Now, every episode of Better Call Saul felt endy.

00:27:54.000 Wow.

00:27:56.000 And I don't want to do any spoilers.

00:27:58.000 Spoiler alert!

00:28:00.000 But this woman figures out that he's Saul Goodman, so he runs out of her house.

00:28:05.000 And you're like, OK, can't wait till next week.

00:28:07.000 Oh, but you see, they can't really do a crazy amount with him because... Because?

00:28:12.000 Because... Is working in the Bronx affecting your accent?

00:28:17.000 That's an affectation that I like to do.

00:28:19.000 I like to put that on.

00:28:25.000 They can't really do much with the character because in Breaking Bad he's still gotta be alive, you know?

00:28:31.000 That's not a big restriction.

00:28:33.000 Yeah, but you can't kill them all. 0.98

00:28:34.000 You have to live. 0.99

00:28:36.000 That's about it.

00:28:36.000 Pretty good.

00:28:39.000 You see Gavin, out here in America, where speakers go boom boom, you got your little red Dixie cup, you got your Daisy Dukes hacked all the way up to your butt. 0.99

00:28:48.000 You can do whatever you want. 0.98

00:28:50.000 It's America. 0.99

00:28:52.000 What's that goddamn Better Call Saul? 0.99

00:28:56.000 Better Call Saul's a show made here in America. 0.98

00:28:59.000 A grassroots enterprise made by Americans just like you and me.

00:29:02.000 Basically every show made in America?

00:29:05.000 Except that show about extras?

00:29:06.000 Not Squid Game.

00:29:09.000 Squid Game, yeah.

00:29:10.000 There's that French show about a CAA acting agency.

00:29:14.000 That's one other show.

00:29:16.000 I think like 99.9% of shows anyone talks about are made in America.

00:29:21.000 Including the top shows in the Congo.

00:29:25.000 Like I have a cheat box and I go to Jamaican shows and I look at Jamaican Cartoon Network.

00:29:33.000 It's just, it's just American shows.

00:29:35.000 Hmm.

00:29:36.000 So what are you talking about?

00:29:38.000 And who are you by the way?

00:29:39.000 Luke Bryan.

00:29:42.000 The like Nazi hunter who has a Nazi family?

00:29:45.000 No, no.

00:29:46.000 I'm a country music star.

00:29:47.000 Oh, that's Luke O'Brien.

00:29:48.000 Luke Bryan.

00:29:51.000 Speaking of names that are similar, David Weissman's a weird guy that you don't like.

00:29:54.000 You ever hear about David Weiss?

00:29:56.000 The flat earther?

00:29:57.000 He wants to interview you and have a whole special about flat earthers.

00:30:00.000 I want to talk to a flat earther.

00:30:03.000 I think people would love to see that.

00:30:05.000 Would they?

00:30:06.000 Absolutely.

00:30:07.000 Here's the only way I should do it.

00:30:08.000 I'll get a guy who's an expert. 0.99

00:30:11.000 So when this asshole says like, the Great Lakes are actually flat and if you look at them you don't see a curve. 0.98

00:30:17.000 And I don't have to sit there and go, I've looked that up and that's that. 0.99

00:30:20.000 I can have the smart guy go, yeah dude it's the refraction of the sun.

00:30:25.000 It still would be fun to just see how much he can get away with saying.

00:30:29.000 Here's a funny thing, when the callers call in, see how much of them will actually say that they're 100% sure that the earth is not flat?

00:30:38.000 For every caller, we'll ask them that and we'll see what's what.

00:30:40.000 How crazy are your viewers?

00:30:46.000 Can't wait to have you down south, Gabbo.

00:30:56.000 Can't wait to go down south.

00:30:57.000 Salute.

00:30:58.000 Salute.

00:31:00.000 Very French thing to say. 0.78

00:31:01.000 So that's David Weissman on Twitter, right?

00:31:05.000 Badass.

00:31:05.000 Let's go back to that.

00:31:08.000 So he looks like he will just like your throat here he'll murder you for saying the wrong thing.

00:31:14.000 And this is a great example of the way people on social media portray themselves and the way they are.

00:31:20.000 Let's look at who David Weissman is in person.

00:31:24.000 OK. 1.00

00:31:24.000 Let's see that badass murderer fucking vigilante. 1.00

00:31:28.000 Tennessee Holler Facebook Live. 1.00

00:31:30.000 We're tnholler.com, at the TN Holler on Twitter and Facebook.

00:31:34.000 Thank you to everybody who supports us and helps amplify the messages.

00:31:38.000 Ship in a few bucks, that's how we survive.

00:31:40.000 Today we have a very special guest, David Weissman.

00:31:43.000 He has a really interesting story to tell, one that I find to be really important.

00:31:47.000 David, how are you today?

00:31:48.000 Good, thank you for having me on.

00:31:49.000 What? 0.99

00:31:51.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

00:31:52.000 Yeah, you don't know this guy? 1.00

00:31:54.000 Oh my lord.

00:31:54.000 Hi, thanks for having me on.

00:31:56.000 That's not an exaggeration.

00:31:57.000 Hey, you guys.

00:32:00.000 David, how are you today?

00:32:01.000 I'm good, thank you for having me.

00:32:03.000 Thank you for having me.

00:32:05.000 I feel bad.

00:32:06.000 I appreciate you coming on.

00:32:08.000 I really appreciate you being so open about the story, because not many are.

00:32:14.000 Now I'm one of you guys.

00:32:15.000 Can I come aboard?

00:32:17.000 And now you no longer are.

00:32:18.000 Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

00:32:20.000 Yeah, I was in the military for a transient years.

00:32:22.000 Been deployed.

00:32:23.000 Transient years? 0.95

00:32:24.000 Are we sure?

00:32:25.000 How many years?

00:32:25.000 Did an IUD blow up his nose?

00:32:27.000 I was in the military for transient years.

00:32:30.000 If that's like a result of like action, then I feel bad. 0.92

00:32:33.000 I remember when I had him on my old show, I was, I was like, Oh, this guy's a badass Israeli fucking cool right winger.

00:32:40.000 Um, and then he's like, hi, I'm happy to be here. 0.99

00:32:44.000 And I went, Oh shit. 0.99

00:32:47.000 This is another NPR voice. 1.00

00:32:50.000 This is another Ira Glass.

00:32:52.000 It's a low T voice.

00:32:54.000 Sorry, Jews. 1.00

00:32:55.000 You tend to have low T guys in your stable. 0.96

00:32:59.000 He's like a stern whack-knacker level. 0.99

00:33:00.000 This guy, Justin Canu, just Canu, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:33:04.000 And it's not good. 0.99

00:33:05.000 I've been, Justin, I've been in your shoes.

00:33:07.000 I've been in your shoes, Canus.

00:33:20.000 When did you start to become a Trump fan?

00:33:22.000 What was it about him that you appreciated?

00:33:24.000 Boring!

00:33:25.000 Megalomania! 0.66

00:33:26.000 Tons of jump cuts he had to make too.

00:33:28.000 Megalomania! 0.66

00:33:29.000 Wow.

00:33:51.000 Um, Shell Shock CBD, second sponsor for today's show.

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00:34:20.000 I've been taking gummies at bed.

00:34:22.000 Their gummies are sick.

00:34:23.000 I can't lie. 0.97

00:34:24.000 The dreams are pretty nuts, man.

00:34:26.000 Pretty, pretty wild ride.

00:34:29.000 My daughter had a sleepover the other day and one of her friends sleepwalks.

00:34:33.000 That's fun. 0.97

00:34:34.000 And I could have shot her in the head as I heard someone walk around my master bedroom bathroom. 1.00

00:34:41.000 But thanks to the gummies, this sleepover girl lived. 1.00

00:34:46.000 And I could hear like walking and I knew she was friendly fire because my dog wasn't barking. 0.88

00:34:54.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

00:34:55.000 If like when the garbage man comes to pick up the fucking recycling, the dog goes nuts. 0.99

00:35:00.000 So if you're within a hundred yards of our house, my dog goes insane and it makes me mad sometimes, but I appreciate it. 0.99

00:35:07.000 It's doing his job.

00:35:08.000 But he was silent as a mouse, which means I trust her.

00:35:11.000 So I was like, okay, the dog's not barking.

00:35:13.000 No one broke into the house.

00:35:15.000 And then I can hear her in my master bedroom and I hear like a plastic cup go ting, diddling, ting, ting.

00:35:23.000 Like falling inside, and I'm nude, so I guess I gotta put on underwear, and I don't wanna see her.

00:35:31.000 Like, I don't wanna see a 16-year-old girl being like, hello, what?

00:35:37.000 And then, so you go, okay, well, lock your bedroom door.

00:35:40.000 Eh, I'd rather take the hit.

00:35:43.000 I don't want her going into my son's room that's next to my daughter's room, or my other son's room.

00:35:49.000 So I'm like, come on in, sleepwalker.

00:35:51.000 And I know she sleepwalks, I've heard of this before.

00:35:53.000 That's hilarious.

00:35:55.000 So I was stoned out of my mind and it actually helped the situation because I was, I had a higher IQ and I was like the Terminator like assessing the situation.

00:36:07.000 I knew what the cup was and I knew how long she'd been in there for. 0.67

00:36:10.000 Then I heard her like leave the master bedroom and wander out in the hallway and go back into my daughter's room. 1.00

00:36:20.000 Sleepwalking, that's fascinating.

00:36:21.000 I've always been kind of jealous that I didn't sleepwalk.

00:36:24.000 I know, it is kind of FOMO.

00:36:25.000 Like, you'd think that would be cool.

00:36:28.000 That sounds so cool.

00:36:29.000 Although, if you really want to sleepwalk, just black out drunk.

00:36:35.000 Yeah, but, yeah. 1.00

00:36:36.000 But, you know, that has consequences because you wake up and you feel like shit. 0.99

00:36:40.000 If you get that drunk. 0.99

00:36:43.000 But this is like, you're just sober.

00:36:45.000 I told you a story about my friend Jamie McCabe, right?

00:36:48.000 I don't know. 0.98

00:36:50.000 We were tree planting and tree planting you're mostly living in a tent but occasionally if the demographics and the geographics align you end up in a motel and being in a shitty motel in rural Canada in North Bay or Etobicoke or not even Etobicoke that's way too south but like Cobalt Ontario for example speaking of our shits

00:37:17.000 Ryan Miranda in Quebec, any sort of northern Ontario place. 0.80

00:37:23.000 Being in a motel is heaven on earth.

00:37:26.000 It's a bed, there's no bugs, it's climate controlled.

00:37:28.000 Like the shittiest motel in the world is heaven when you're a tree planter.

00:37:34.000 So I heard Jamie sleepwalks.

00:37:38.000 And so he tells me, he's like, dude, I gotta warn you tonight, I sleepwalk.

00:37:42.000 So I was on a cot, they were sharing a queen bed, and me and there's all three foremen, we were foremen telling people how to plant trees.

00:37:52.000 And he goes, yeah, I should warn you, I sleepwalk.

00:37:57.000 I'm like, okay. 0.99

00:37:58.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:37:59.000 And he goes, if I approach you, just explain the logical fallacy with what I'm saying and I'll fall back asleep. 1.00

00:38:07.000 Wow.

00:38:07.000 I'm like, okay, thanks for the homework assignment.

00:38:10.000 And he goes, for example, again, TMI, for example, when I was much younger, I was, I told my brother, I ran downstairs and I screamed at him, I go, there's a stampede of married women chasing me. 0.76

00:38:25.000 And, um, my brother goes, okay, this is pre-internet, of course.

00:38:30.000 How did they meet?

00:38:32.000 Uh, what's their motive?

00:38:33.000 Do they, do they talk on the phone?

00:38:35.000 Why are they, why are they chasing you?

00:38:37.000 What's in it for them?

00:38:38.000 Aren't they going to get arrested?

00:38:40.000 And after I laid all that down, I, my brother laid all that down.

00:38:44.000 I went, oh, and I, I went to bed.

00:38:47.000 This is Jamie talking.

00:38:49.000 So I'm like, uh, okay, got it.

00:38:51.000 Don't care.

00:38:52.000 Cremation of care.

00:38:54.000 But, uh, okay.

00:38:56.000 So that night at about three in the morning, he comes over to my cot and he sits next to me.

00:39:03.000 He's like, Hey, I'm like, what was outing?

00:39:06.000 Hello.

00:39:07.000 And he goes, let me explain something to you.

00:39:10.000 Okay, what are we going to fight?

00:39:12.000 Should I get my shiv?

00:39:14.000 He goes, I have two posters in my room.

00:39:18.000 I have a Maurice, the Rocket Richard poster above my bed.

00:39:23.000 It's right there.

00:39:25.000 And then I have a BMW poster just says BMW.

00:39:28.000 It's the logo of BMW and that's at the other end of my bed.

00:39:32.000 Then I have my chest of drawers and everything else.

00:39:34.000 That's a fact.

00:39:35.000 You can call my parents.

00:39:36.000 You can look that up.

00:39:38.000 It's indisputable.

00:39:40.000 And I'm like, okay, got it.

00:39:43.000 Thanks.

00:39:46.000 And then he goes to bed.

00:39:48.000 So the next morning,

00:39:50.000 I go, thanks for the heads up about the posters in your room, Jamie.

00:39:54.000 He's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:39:57.000 And I told him what I just told you.

00:39:58.000 And he goes, I don't have any posters in my room.

00:40:01.000 Whoa. 0.99

00:40:02.000 I got a bunch of stupid like frame things my mom put up. 0.99

00:40:04.000 I didn't really decorate my room. 0.99

00:40:05.000 I'm not into rooms.

00:40:08.000 So his sleepwalking self was like, someone's threatening me.

00:40:15.000 They're threatening my existence.

00:40:17.000 So I have to go and cover my tracks.

00:40:20.000 It's almost like multiple personalities.

00:40:21.000 That is wild.

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00:41:08.000 They taste very good. 0.98

00:41:10.000 All right, so we should probably, we'll go behind the paywall soon, but we should probably start taking calls, opening up the chats, all that shit. 0.97

00:41:20.000 I should say, Matty's gone. 0.63

00:41:23.000 Oh yeah, he was saying he can call in or video in.

00:41:26.000 We don't want him, we fired him.

00:41:28.000 Oh.

00:41:29.000 He tried to molest Ryan. 1.00

00:41:33.000 Now, I'm not saying that- He grabbed Ryan's ass. 1.00

00:41:36.000 And that's a deal breaker here at the show. 1.00

00:41:39.000 Our people are not sexual objects.

00:41:42.000 Thank you.

00:41:43.000 And what I didn't do, I didn't bend down.

00:41:45.000 No, I'll tell you what Ryan did, he started crying.

00:41:48.000 Yes, I did.

00:41:49.000 And then I walked in, I go, what's going on here?

00:41:51.000 And Maddie goes, I'm just joking.

00:41:52.000 I'm just joking around.

00:41:54.000 And Ryan was, his mascara was streaming.

00:41:57.000 I don't have mascara.

00:41:58.000 You had mascara on that day.

00:41:59.000 No I didn't.

00:42:01.000 He was crying his eyes out.

00:42:02.000 The way I reported the story to Fire Matty was that.

00:42:06.000 And Fire Matty is a government institution at this point.

00:42:10.000 It's 612, you call 612 and anytime Matty gets a job you dial 612 and you're like, Matty did this.

00:42:17.000 It's like a 911 or a 411 but he has his own government call line.

00:42:22.000 Fire Matty is also the name of the hot sauce that we're coming out with.

00:42:26.000 Actually it is now.

00:42:27.000 Yes.

00:42:27.000 Literally.

00:42:28.000 He's on a road trip doing some shit. 0.98

00:42:30.000 But I also tried to get Sylvia and Linda. 0.99

00:42:37.000 Linda was not having it.

00:42:40.000 Hey Linda, I'm coming by to pick you up. 0.99

00:42:42.000 Oh, okay.

00:42:42.000 Well, I have to talk to some people that uh, I can arrange that.

00:42:47.000 Do you need that right now?

00:42:49.000 Like she hates committing to things.

00:42:50.000 I go, Linda, I'll just pick you up. 0.97

00:42:52.000 Where are you?

00:42:52.000 I'll drive.

00:42:53.000 I'm in my car.

00:42:55.000 Oh, okay.

00:42:55.000 Well, um, that's actually, I don't think I can do that immediately.

00:42:59.000 I go, I'll give you a hundred dollars to come on the show. 0.91

00:43:03.000 You just sit there.

00:43:04.000 Yeah.

00:43:04.000 I actually was not prepared to work tonight.

00:43:07.000 So, uh,

00:43:08.000 This woman calls me a hundred times a day. 1.00

00:43:11.000 She sends me an emoji an hour.

00:43:13.000 Okay, that math doesn't add up, but you know what I'm saying.

00:43:17.000 And then we have Sylvia. 0.99

00:43:20.000 Dude, I was talking to a cop in New Rochelle, where she used to live, and he goes, yeah, she was a fucking nightmare. 0.99

00:43:28.000 Did I tell you this yet? 0.99

00:43:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:30.000 About the black and the n-word?

00:43:33.000 Okay, wait, no.

00:43:33.000 Did we talk about this?

00:43:34.000 No. 1.00

00:43:35.000 He goes, yeah, that husband she wants to reunite with, Jose, he's a fucking nightmare, total racist psycho, he hates niggers. 1.00

00:43:45.000 Yes, I think I do remember this. 1.00

00:43:46.000 Did we talk about this on the show?

00:43:47.000 Yeah.

00:43:48.000 So I talked to her, I go, is that true?

00:43:49.000 And she goes, that's not true at all. 0.99

00:43:51.000 He, no, I said he hates, the cop said he hates blacks. 1.00

00:43:55.000 And then Sylvia goes, no, he hated niggers because a nigger killed his son. 1.00

00:43:58.000 He loves blacks. 1.00

00:44:00.000 Okay.

00:44:01.000 And then the cop also said, he's like, dude, we get calls from her all day, every day, which is now my calls.

00:44:07.000 I get them.

00:44:09.000 Siete negro teenagers? 1.00

00:44:26.000 Okay, combine that with her saying, I was a call girl, with her saying, I'm an American slut, I'm not Italian or Jewish, I'm an American slut. 1.00

00:44:34.000 Combine that with her saying to me once, my biggest regret was my addiction to cock. 1.00

00:44:41.000 What, you love sucking dick? 1.00

00:44:42.000 I don't know, I'm Jewish, I don't suck dicks. 1.00

00:44:44.000 But just my love of cock, it ruined all seven of my marriages. 1.00

00:44:49.000 I think guys would go to her house and they would fuck her for 10 bucks. 1.00

00:44:55.000 And there'd be 10 in a day and she'd make a hundred bucks. 1.00

00:44:59.000 That is my theory of my friend, Sylvia.

00:45:03.000 Anyway, so she calls me yesterday and she's like, why didn't you call back?

00:45:09.000 I'm like, I'm putting my kid to bed.

00:45:11.000 What's going on now?

00:45:13.000 I don't know.

00:45:14.000 Call me later.

00:45:15.000 And then 10 minutes later, she texts me, I'm dying.

00:45:18.000 Okay.

00:45:20.000 That's bad.

00:45:22.000 So I call her back.

00:45:23.000 No answer.

00:45:25.000 I text her back, obviously, no answer.

00:45:27.000 I'm in, like, just shorts, nothing else.

00:45:30.000 I'm like, thank you.

00:45:31.000 And I go, I guess I gotta, like, drive down there.

00:45:35.000 So I call my buddy Mike, who lives in her building, or next to her building, and he's like, yo, I just went down there.

00:45:41.000 He's got a giant pit bull.

00:45:42.000 I just went down there.

00:45:44.000 No answer, dude.

00:45:45.000 Looks bad. 1.00

00:45:47.000 So I go, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:45:48.000 So I get in the car and I start driving, and I'm like, 1.00

00:45:53.000 What if she's blue when I get there?

00:45:56.000 I don't mean down.

00:45:58.000 Right.

00:45:58.000 I don't mean pornographic.

00:46:01.000 Do I gotta like... Gotta?

00:46:07.000 Do I gotta CPR her? 0.98

00:46:12.000 If she's dead, I just made out with a dead woman. 1.00

00:46:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:16.000 That's up there with sucking a dick. 1.00

00:46:18.000 Is it not? 1.00

00:46:19.000 Yeah, necrophilia is worse than... You ever suck a dude's dick? 1.00

00:46:23.000 Like, say you're at a party. 1.00

00:46:24.000 You're talking to some straight men. 1.00

00:46:25.000 You ever suck a dude's dick? 1.00

00:46:27.000 I did. 1.00

00:46:28.000 In college. 0.99

00:46:28.000 I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. 0.99

00:46:30.000 Okay, that's gross. 0.99

00:46:33.000 Did you ever make out with a dead woman? 0.90

00:46:35.000 I did.

00:46:35.000 Well, I didn't make out.

00:46:36.000 It was CPR.

00:46:38.000 That's as gross.

00:46:41.000 Isn't it?

00:46:43.000 In the eyes of the Lord, it might be worse. 1.00

00:46:44.000 No, fuck the Lord. 1.00

00:46:45.000 No offense, God. 1.00

00:46:47.000 But as far as, like, your nightmares.

00:46:50.000 Like, you're lying in bed, you know when you get the terrors when you drink too much and it's like four in the morning and you're thinking about terrible stuff?

00:46:57.000 What's more in your head?

00:46:58.000 The time you blew a dude in college?

00:47:00.000 Or the time your... your lips were on a dead woman's mouth?

00:47:09.000 Now, in the interim, from this event to now, I talked to a guy who's like a lifeguard expert.

00:47:15.000 He trains lifeguards. 0.99

00:47:17.000 And he's like, yeah, CPR is bullshit. 1.00

00:47:19.000 He goes, they're all bullshit, actually. 1.00

00:47:21.000 The only thing that matters is the all clear ca-junk. 1.00

00:47:25.000 And I go, what about the uh, uh, uh, uh, stayin' alive, stayin' alive, uh, uh?

00:47:31.000 He goes, that's like an iron lung.

00:47:34.000 So what you're doing is the heart's dead.

00:47:36.000 You're pumping the blood.

00:47:38.000 You're faking the heart into pumping the blood.

00:47:41.000 Yeah.

00:47:41.000 Like an iron lung.

00:47:43.000 You're not keeping, you're not helping her live per se.

00:47:47.000 You're just pumping, you're fake pumping the blood.

00:47:49.000 He goes CPR unless they're drowning and you're trying to get them to barf and like breathe.

00:47:53.000 95% of what you breathe out is carbon dioxide.

00:47:58.000 So you're only breathing a little bit of oxygen into them. 0.97

00:48:02.000 So CPR is gay. 0.99

00:48:04.000 He goes, do that until EMT gets there and then they spark it and she might be saved. 0.53

00:48:11.000 But he goes, you're also banking on the fact that she died like one second before you got there.

00:48:16.000 Right.

00:48:17.000 He's like, think of drowning.

00:48:18.000 If you showed up two minutes after someone was lying at the bottom of the pool, are you helping?

00:48:24.000 Hey, I brought her back.

00:48:28.000 Her brain's only been dead for two entire minutes. 0.99

00:48:33.000 So anyway, that's going through my head and I go in the hallway and there's Mike with his fucking gigantic pitbull that has like a full body brace. 0.99

00:48:40.000 It's so strong. 0.98

00:48:42.000 And I'm like, what's going on?

00:48:43.000 And he goes, Oh, she's in that door.

00:48:46.000 Oh, I got the wrong door.

00:48:48.000 Thanks.

00:48:49.000 Thank you.

00:48:50.000 So then I get to her door and I hear,

00:48:52.000 I don't know if she's gonna like him or not, because they've been dating for ten years!

00:48:58.000 She's got, like, The Bachelor on.

00:49:01.000 Eleven.

00:49:02.000 It's shaking the door.

00:49:04.000 So I go, well, she's clearly alive.

00:49:06.000 So I open the door.

00:49:07.000 This is shaking, screaming.

00:49:11.000 And I go, can you turn it down?! !

00:49:15.000 So she's like, what, oh! 0.56

00:49:17.000 Her blind chihuahua is going, oh, oh, oh! 1.00

00:49:20.000 And Mike's pit bull is like, spitting out phlegm onto the floor.

00:49:26.000 I'm like, dude, your pit bull's about to eat that blind chihuahua.

00:49:29.000 You should just get out of here. 1.00

00:49:31.000 And then her with her cockeyed fucking doctor from Futurama face is like, Gavin, what are you doing here? 0.99

00:49:38.000 I go, Syl, you said you're dying. 0.99

00:49:42.000 And she goes, I am!

00:49:46.000 To see what happens on The Bachelor!

00:49:48.000 I go, well we're all dying, technically.

00:49:54.000 Babies are dying the day they're born.

00:49:56.000 But I had assumed when you texted me and said you're dying and then didn't answer any other texts, um, that you were dying within the next 10 minutes.

00:50:05.000 If you're dying within the next year or two, no need to send me an emergency text.

00:50:10.000 I'll be at your funeral.

00:50:13.000 So,

00:50:15.000 Then she calls me tonight.

00:50:16.000 I knew Matty wasn't going to be here, he's on his road trip, but I thought it would be cool if we could get... Hey ladies! 0.95

00:50:23.000 Play the interstitial.

00:50:24.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:26.000 We could have Sylvia and Linda on the couch.

00:50:29.000 Wouldn't that be awesome?

00:50:30.000 Hey ladies! 1.00

00:50:31.000 Did you know that I never did?

00:50:33.000 Hey ladies! 1.00

00:50:35.000 And he's a retard. 1.00

00:50:37.000 He's a reaper? 1.00

00:50:38.000 Is this in a foreign country?

00:50:39.000 Israel? 0.53

00:50:43.000 He's a reaper?

00:50:44.000 Yeah he's a reaper.

00:50:45.000 We could have had that.

00:50:46.000 I thought that would be great.

00:50:49.000 So I was calling them incessantly and that's how I got Linda being like, I hear you're calling me a lot I can't work tonight. 0.99

00:50:55.000 Work?

00:50:57.000 Work?

00:50:59.000 And Sylvia goes, last night I told you I was dying you show up you didn't even offer me a glass of water or nothing! 1.00

00:51:10.000 First of all, it's your apartment you go get your own fucking water. 1.00

00:51:14.000 You're watching reality TV. 1.00

00:51:15.000 You're fine You're not even lying in bed.

00:51:17.000 You're sitting on your bed So it would have been weird if I was like hi.

00:51:21.000 Oh, you're alive.

00:51:22.000 Can I get you a glass of water?

00:51:24.000 Anyway 1.00

00:51:28.000 What a pile of shit. 1.00

00:51:30.000 So we didn't get our ladies tonight. 1.00

00:51:33.000 Let's start to think about wrapping it up as far as the freeloaders go.

00:51:38.000 And let's, I guess, open the mail.

00:51:43.000 It's thanks for calling in the mailbag.

00:51:45.000 So let's do the thanks for calling interstitial.

00:51:47.000 I just like that song.

00:51:48.000 That's a fun one.

00:51:49.000 It's a beautiful song.

00:51:50.000 We don't get to hit it as much.

00:51:51.000 Reminds me of Norah's article.

00:51:52.000 You are on air.

00:51:53.000 Um, you have a conversation. 1.00

00:51:55.000 This is a fucking loser. 1.00

00:51:57.000 You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why. 1.00

00:52:00.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

00:52:02.000 You have one thing.

00:52:03.000 Thank you for calling.

00:52:04.000 It was great hearing from you.

00:52:06.000 Bye bye!

00:52:07.000 Alright, next call.

00:52:08.000 Bye bye!

00:52:11.000 Home to mommy!

00:52:13.000 That's true.

00:52:14.000 Back to mommy's basement. 0.99

00:52:16.000 She probably likes me.

00:52:20.000 Let's start taking calls.

00:52:21.000 Put the number down there, Ryan.

00:52:24.000 And then at the same time, we can start looking at letters we've received to the show.

00:52:29.000 We receive about... Correct.

00:52:32.000 I would say 50 to 100 a day.

00:52:33.000 And so now we're going to ask people if they're 100% sure that the Earth is not flat.

00:52:40.000 And I think we'll be kind of surprised.

00:52:42.000 I don't really want to talk about that.

00:52:44.000 We won't talk about it.

00:52:45.000 We won't get into it.

00:52:46.000 We'll just see. 0.97

00:52:47.000 No, it's retarded. 1.00

00:52:48.000 Why did you come up with that plan?

00:52:51.000 Because we brought up David Weiss.

00:52:52.000 Do you think the Earth is flat?

00:52:55.000 I'm not sold on that.

00:52:57.000 I like listening to videos about it.

00:52:58.000 I like to consider... No one asked that, Ryan.

00:53:02.000 So you think the Earth is flat?

00:53:04.000 No, I don't.

00:53:05.000 I'm not certain of anything.

00:53:06.000 You're not certain the Earth is a sphere?

00:53:08.000 Correct. 1.00

00:53:10.000 I don't believe shit from nobody. 0.99

00:53:11.000 Can you believe what I work with here, folks? 1.00

00:53:13.000 Yeah, I don't believe shit. 1.00

00:53:15.000 No wonder he has a rat on his head mowing the lawn with a broken toy lawnmower. 0.99

00:53:19.000 Dear Gavin, Ryguy and Maddie, unfortunately Maddie's not here in this video at 8.

00:53:24.000 Jeremy, who you'll recognize shortly, talks about how he read this business book called The One Thing, which talks about how you need to find the one thing you can do to make everything else in your life easier.

00:53:37.000 I would say being honest.

00:53:39.000 That would be my one thing.

00:53:40.000 If any of you guess what the one thing Jeremy decided on is, I'll give you $100.

00:53:45.000 He eventually gives the answer at $920, going on a separate tangent.

00:53:50.000 Okay.

00:53:52.000 So, uh, let's click on that.

00:53:54.000 This is right.

00:53:54.000 You're a fan of this guy, right?

00:53:58.000 I'm trying to get Maddie on here. 1.00

00:53:59.000 Let's see.

00:54:01.000 Um, I'm in mailbag and this is called Genesis Briar Porridge.

00:54:08.000 What are you talking about?

00:54:10.000 This is called Jeremy fragrance bet.

00:54:12.000 So yeah, Jeremy's not that similar.

00:54:15.000 Not so similar at nine minutes in.

00:54:17.000 Okay.

00:54:21.000 How are we doing?

00:54:28.000 Okay.

00:54:31.000 Long pause.

00:54:32.000 Not great for TV.

00:54:33.000 Here we go.

00:54:35.000 Okay, buffering, loading, we have a 56k modem.

00:54:38.000 But you know what? 0.98

00:54:39.000 I said at some point, fuck it, I will read this stuff. 0.99

00:54:43.000 And the first business book I read was The One Thing. 0.99

00:54:48.000 Meaning, the message of this book is, what is the one thing you can do to make everything else easier?

00:54:57.000 And I read tons and tons of other business books, which I think suck, because I don't want to know how to manipulate people.

00:55:05.000 I don't want to know that people give me more attention when I repeat their name, always at the end of the sentence, like, uh-huh, is that right, Steve?

00:55:14.000 So we make a good deal for you, Steve.

00:55:16.000 This is how we do it for you, Steve. 1.00

00:55:18.000 And I said, this is fucked up manipulation shit. 1.00

00:55:22.000 This is like the snake that manipulated 1.00

00:55:25.000 Eva in the Bible. 1.00

00:55:28.000 We don't do that shit. 0.99

00:55:30.000 And however, I got very successful, like most human beings, when you use certain techniques to not trick people but to me. 0.99

00:55:40.000 And I'm very, very, very aggressive with my own self and the honesty.

00:55:48.000 I feel ashamed if I use techniques

00:55:51.000 And women should be ashamed and men should be ashamed if they use techniques. 1.00

00:55:57.000 All right.

00:55:58.000 Let's keep it cool.

00:55:59.000 Let's continue what's going on.

00:56:00.000 Wait a minute.

00:56:01.000 Hold on a sec.

00:56:02.000 We've been making fun of this guy for a very long time.

00:56:07.000 Unless he is conceding that despite his instincts he does use techniques that was pretty great.

00:56:16.000 Like that was awesome to say I don't want to repeat their name.

00:56:21.000 I've always hated and I feel the same way.

00:56:23.000 I've always hated all those sales tactics and you can see them when they happen.

00:56:27.000 When I interview people they'll say my name.

00:56:30.000 Well I'm glad you asked that Gavin.

00:56:31.000 They always do it on Tucker too.

00:56:33.000 Thanks for asking Tucker.

00:56:35.000 Tucker what we're doing here

00:56:37.000 Stop saying the guy's name.

00:56:38.000 It's such an obvious ploy.

00:56:42.000 But I was worried he would concede that he does use those techniques.

00:56:46.000 But using techniques is for facts.

00:56:49.000 Don't do it.

00:56:51.000 Right, Ryan?

00:56:52.000 Yes.

00:56:56.000 Uh-oh.

00:56:57.000 There's a Mets game going on.

00:56:58.000 I think we're losing.

00:56:59.000 Can you check in on that?

00:57:03.000 What are you doing right now?

00:57:04.000 So go to 920 and see what he admitted was his thingamadoodle.

00:57:09.000 Okay.

00:57:11.000 Okay, it's 2-2 with the Braves right now.

00:57:16.000 The one thing that I decided to do, I'm not going to wear underwear. 0.99

00:57:22.000 How did that stupid thing happen? 0.99

00:57:24.000 Well, long story. 1.00

00:57:27.000 First of all I had stuff doing in the gay community where I didn't wear underwear because it was convenient and sexual shit. 1.00

00:57:37.000 Oh he's a fag? 1.00

00:57:37.000 I had sex with a woman in New York City and I showered but I didn't want to put on the same underwear after I showered so I just on my suit 1.00

00:57:48.000 Put on no underwear. 0.99

00:57:50.000 And I said, you know what?

00:57:52.000 That's actually funny.

00:57:53.000 On my suit, I put on no underwear.

00:57:54.000 No, you don't put on no underwear.

00:57:56.000 But you're going to get a little drop.

00:57:58.000 No matter how you shake your peg, the last wee drop runs down your leg.

00:58:02.000 No, but I'm not wearing underwear.

00:58:04.000 Therefore, I'm totally calm in this situation because they have no idea what's going on.

00:58:11.000 So I'm literally cool. 0.98

00:58:13.000 You could say I'm a whore. 1.00

00:58:14.000 I'm an asshole. 1.00

00:58:15.000 I'm a rapist. 1.00

00:58:17.000 Point a gun to me. 1.00

00:58:18.000 I said, yeah, all right.

00:58:19.000 This guy's a bit aggressive.

00:58:20.000 You keep it totally cool because it's like the same thing that people in front of you are naked or... Okay, shut up. 0.99

00:58:29.000 We've had enough of this. 1.00

00:58:31.000 Shut up, retard. 1.00

00:58:33.000 What a moron. 1.00

00:58:33.000 He's a himbo. 1.00

00:58:36.000 Can we take some calls?

00:58:37.000 Are there any calls there?

00:58:38.000 Yes.

00:58:41.000 I got Matty on my phone, but not on the computer here.

00:58:44.000 Okay.

00:58:44.000 Put your phone up to the thing.

00:58:46.000 Here we go in three, two, one.

00:58:52.000 Matty, why did you abandon us?

00:58:55.000 Because I wanted to come see this beautiful sunset in Indiana.

00:59:00.000 Is it worth it?

00:59:01.000 Do you regret your move?

00:59:03.000 No, I mean, you know, I get my throttle therapy out there on the road.

00:59:09.000 Dude, that sunset looks fake.

00:59:13.000 The sunset, it looks fake.

00:59:15.000 Oh, you got the blur on. 1.00

00:59:16.000 I want to let you know that I got the email from HR and I have to go to sensitivity training now because I grabbed Ryan's ass. 0.98

00:59:25.000 Yeah, I'm glad we could do that through formal procedures and not have to discuss it with each other face to face. 0.97

00:59:32.000 I just hope I don't have to draw pictures. 0.98

00:59:34.000 Dude, is that a real fucking sunset? 0.99

00:59:37.000 It looks fake. 0.99

00:59:38.000 No, it's real.

00:59:39.000 It looks like fake clouds and...

00:59:43.000 A Shell station and a Burger King and some kind of diner.

00:59:49.000 And what would you say was the average velocity of your trip so far?

00:59:53.000 Yeah, that's the real sunset.

00:59:55.000 It's beautiful.

00:59:56.000 What was your average velocity this drive?

01:00:00.000 Um, I got on the road at 5.07 this morning and I was in Indianapolis at 5 o'clock.

01:00:10.000 So it was 12 hours total, but you know, I stopped for lunch.

01:00:14.000 So that was probably like 40 minutes and then gas stops every 125 miles.

01:00:17.000 But I put in, uh, 660 miles today.

01:00:21.000 And how fast were you going?

01:00:23.000 90?

01:00:23.000 Um, my top speed today was 114 and the average was like 78, 79.

01:00:32.000 Well, I'm just going to assume that's the bike.

01:00:34.000 Cause if I was on my bike that fast, I'd be bald.

01:00:42.000 We have a saying, if you're not doing 90, you ain't moving.

01:00:46.000 Alright man, well have fun. 0.99

01:00:48.000 And if you're going to fornicate, use a condom. 1.00

01:00:50.000 I'll be back next week. 1.00

01:00:51.000 You know?

01:00:52.000 Wait, what?

01:00:53.000 I'll be there next Thursday.

01:00:54.000 I don't know, are you going to be around next week?

01:00:58.000 Uh, no.

01:00:59.000 Well, we'll see.

01:01:01.000 Alright.

01:01:01.000 Yeah, I'll see you when I get back.

01:01:03.000 I'll be back Tuesday.

01:01:04.000 Alright buddy, Alex is more than a friend.

01:01:06.000 What kind of shirt are you wearing right there?

01:01:11.000 What happens in Vegas?

01:01:12.000 What happened in Vegas?

01:01:14.000 Righteous.

01:01:15.000 I'm putting it out there.

01:01:18.000 I'm asking people.

01:01:19.000 And we got one of these shirts for you too when you come back.

01:01:22.000 Uh oh, we in this shirt?

01:01:24.000 Yeah, well look, we got the hi-viz.

01:01:26.000 Oh, they came in finally.

01:01:30.000 They came in. 0.60

01:01:31.000 Nice! 0.94

01:01:32.000 Alright, well I'm gonna go grab some roast beef sandwiches from Arby's because it's holding junk food around.

01:01:36.000 And I'm going to go finish watching the show.

01:01:38.000 I'll see you guys on Tuesday.

01:01:40.000 Love you guys.

01:01:41.000 Be safe. 0.98

01:01:41.000 All you baby monsters. 0.98

01:01:43.000 Anybody that's in Indianapolis, Indiana or Arkansas, let me know. 0.95

01:01:48.000 Peace!

01:01:49.000 Did you see that thing that Jordan Peterson said?

01:01:52.000 No.

01:01:53.000 It's in the mailbag where he's like, don't let the baby monsters under the carpet.

01:01:58.000 Oh yeah.

01:01:59.000 Clean your room.

01:02:01.000 And if you let the baby monsters dominate, it's going to be a problem. 0.85

01:02:07.000 Up yours, woke leftists!

01:02:08.000 We'll see who cancels who! 0.99

01:02:11.000 We'll see who's the baby monster! 1.00

01:02:13.000 Don't hide baby monsters under the carpet.

01:02:17.000 They will flourish.

01:02:19.000 They will grow large in the dark.

01:02:22.000 Then, when you least expect it, they will jump out and devour you.

01:02:30.000 Come on, like is that just a coinkydink? 1.00

01:02:33.000 I've never heard anyone in the world to use the term baby monster.

01:02:37.000 Samesies. 0.99

01:02:39.000 Leah Romini is so fucking hot I'd arm and crawl five miles through explosive men's skin diarrhea just to get a whiff. 0.99

01:02:44.000 I might meet her next month. 0.99

01:02:47.000 No.

01:02:47.000 I know one of her childhood friends.

01:02:49.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:02:50.000 I have two questions for her. 1.00

01:02:53.000 One, why was the writing on King of Queens so high caliber? 1.00

01:02:58.000 It's a stupid mainstream American comedy show. 0.99

01:03:02.000 It was written like beyond Monty Python levels of brilliance. 1.00

01:03:06.000 The second question, does it start with, can I squeeze?

01:03:08.000 Second question is, so you're surrounded with like tough, cool chicks from the Bronx. 1.00

01:03:14.000 That's where you grew up.

01:03:16.000 Puerto Ricans and Italians and everything.

01:03:19.000 People around this studio now.

01:03:21.000 Um, when you would talk about full clarity and you're achieving this level, they must've sort of been going,

01:03:29.000 Yeah, okay.

01:03:31.000 Best of luck. 0.97

01:03:33.000 Like, it must have been fucking awkward. 0.99

01:03:35.000 And then when you came out of the Scientology closet and went, what the fuck was I doing? 0.99

01:03:40.000 They must have been going, yeah, thank God. 1.00

01:03:42.000 That shit you were talking about was embarrassing. 1.00

01:03:45.000 Well, not only Puerto Ricans and stuff like that, they do tarot cards and crystals and shit. 1.00

01:03:51.000 So they might be like, oh, that's bogged out. 0.99

01:03:54.000 I believe it.

01:03:55.000 Clarity?

01:03:56.000 We got a 4-6-3.

01:03:57.000 You know what we should do tomorrow?

01:03:59.000 What's up?

01:03:59.000 We should do 10 things about Puerto Ricans.

01:04:03.000 Oh.

01:04:04.000 Just break it down.

01:04:06.000 The 10 most substantial things we've learned, or I've learned, you can interject because you're more involved being Puerto Rican yourself, about Puerto Ricans.

01:04:15.000 Nice.

01:04:16.000 Huepa! 0.99

01:04:18.000 What does that mean?

01:04:19.000 I don't know, it's like, hey, let's go.

01:04:20.000 Do I hear someone on the line clicking around? 0.99

01:04:22.000 It's basically the Puerto Rican, let's fucking go. 1.00

01:04:23.000 Who's there? 0.99

01:04:24.000 Hello?

01:04:24.000 463, you're on the Lee.

01:04:29.000 Hello?

01:04:29.000 Oh, you got a, is your mic on?

01:04:32.000 Yeah, it is.

01:04:33.000 Yeah, it's on.

01:04:33.000 I just talked to Matty.

01:04:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:04:35.000 Oh, wait, no, wait, that was just through my phone, though.

01:04:38.000 To be fair.

01:04:39.000 Hello? 0.98

01:04:42.000 If you're gay, say nothing. 1.00

01:04:44.000 He has been on the line for like a minute, so he might not know that we're talking to him right now. 0.64

01:04:47.000 Hello!

01:04:49.000 I'll put him on mute.

01:04:51.000 Oh, you're there?

01:04:54.000 Speak, sir. 0.99

01:04:55.000 Or forever hold your piss. 0.96

01:04:58.000 Alright, he's in trouble. 0.99

01:05:01.000 We're gonna hang up on him.

01:05:02.000 We don't have time for this.

01:05:03.000 We got Kevin.

01:05:05.000 Oh.

01:05:05.000 Hi Kevin, you sound like a chick.

01:05:07.000 Yeah, you do.

01:05:10.000 Guys, if I'm on the line, you gotta answer me.

01:05:13.000 Uh, we're answering you.

01:05:14.000 Can you hear me? 0.99

01:05:15.000 Ryan's probably fucking up again. 0.99

01:05:16.000 Can you hear me? 0.99

01:05:17.000 Can you hear me?

01:05:18.000 Check, check, check.

01:05:21.000 I think our other people speak.

01:05:23.000 Ryan, she can't hear me.

01:05:24.000 Come on.

01:05:25.000 Hello!

01:05:26.000 Hello!

01:05:27.000 I don't know if that helps.

01:05:32.000 I'm just gonna... Hold on.

01:05:35.000 Hold on.

01:05:36.000 I'm gonna start over this call.

01:05:39.000 Gavin you don't you don't need to do that anymore That's not See what oh, we'll wait for me to connect and then you could scream hello Hello host you are now in the host room and can manage your callers from the call-in studio web interface Can I see the moon during the day

01:05:59.000 Uh-oh, we got a flat earther. 0.96

01:06:01.000 Okay.

01:06:02.000 Why can she see the moon during the day? 0.68

01:06:03.000 Flat earther.

01:06:04.000 Incoming.

01:06:05.000 Why can you see the moon during the day?

01:06:07.000 Like, this is the problem with arguing with you people.

01:06:11.000 So, it's not possible that I could be sitting on the earth and have an angle wherein I could see the moon?

01:06:18.000 We don't know.

01:06:19.000 Hello?

01:06:20.000 She said, oh, she, like, she tapped out after that.

01:06:23.000 Oh, that's just like her slam dunk. 0.99

01:06:24.000 Yep.

01:06:24.000 463?

01:06:25.000 Yeah, 463, you're on the lead.

01:06:32.000 Yeah, the lines are all acting weird, but I'm from Indianapolis.

01:06:38.000 Cool.

01:06:38.000 What's your thing?

01:06:42.000 I want to say that...

01:06:45.000 That's a good point.

01:06:46.000 A lot of guys, now that I talked about doing the 10 funniest shows of all time, I'm getting a lot of people pushing Whitest Kids You Know. 0.90

01:06:53.000 Yeah.

01:07:05.000 Not feeling it.

01:07:06.000 They were impactful for that generation.

01:07:08.000 Sure.

01:07:09.000 Great.

01:07:09.000 Maybe I'm too old.

01:07:10.000 I know one of the guys.

01:07:11.000 Like, I hung out with those dudes.

01:07:13.000 Yeah.

01:07:14.000 And they sent us a bunch of 40s and a VHS tape in 2001, I'd say.

01:07:22.000 Nice.

01:07:24.000 So I was into those dudes before anybody.

01:07:25.000 I don't know.

01:07:27.000 Dude, that Tartos bit.

01:07:28.000 The sketches seemed quite good.

01:07:30.000 But, like, I'm talking about the best in the world.

01:07:32.000 You're up against Monty Python. 0.94

01:07:35.000 And I know Jordan Peele you're like well fuck it those guys are just as funny, but yeah For better for worse Jordan Peele had a billion dollars for every sketch. 0.75

01:07:43.000 They were all perfect anyway Tartos is the funniest thing I've ever seen Thank you I mean, I've never seen anything like it. 0.96

01:07:55.000 Well.

01:07:56.000 It's about an invisible dog and might I say there's your title I

01:08:00.000 Oh, uh, excuse me, uh, what is this?

01:08:02.000 Uh, this is tart toast.

01:08:04.000 Oh, thank you.

01:08:12.000 What the?

01:08:13.000 Hey, buddy! 0.96

01:08:14.000 What the hell, man? 0.97

01:08:16.000 What? 0.98

01:08:17.000 What do you mean, what?

01:08:18.000 What the hell is this?

01:08:19.000 It's tar toast. 0.62

01:08:21.000 I just said that.

01:08:22.000 This is not edible.

01:08:23.000 No, it's tar on toast.

01:08:25.000 What, did you eat it?

01:08:26.000 Yeah, I ate it.

01:08:27.000 You served it to me.

01:08:29.000 Whoa, I served it to you?

01:08:30.000 Yeah.

01:08:32.000 Is that like street tar?

01:08:33.000 Yeah, it's like street tar.

01:08:35.000 Why did you eat it?

01:08:36.000 Because you told me to!

01:08:38.000 What is wrong with you, man?

01:08:40.000 You asked me what this was, I said it was Tart Toast, and then you put it in your mouth and ate it.

01:08:46.000 Tart Toast.

01:08:47.000 And the other thing they keep pushing on us is Always Sunny, which I'm like, no.

01:08:51.000 Yeah, I can't get into Owe Sunny.

01:08:53.000 And I know it's funny.

01:08:54.000 It's just corny.

01:08:57.000 The fact that I know it's funny kind of ruins it for me.

01:08:59.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:09:00.000 Is that gay? 0.97

01:09:00.000 I don't know. 0.97

01:09:01.000 859, you're on the line.

01:09:02.000 It's like Kirby enthusiasm, you can imagine it being true.

01:09:06.000 Sunny is like so obviously fake. 0.96

01:09:08.000 It's just a silly world. 0.99

01:09:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:09:09.000 It's like crack. 0.99

01:09:10.000 We get it.

01:09:11.000 Crack is wild.

01:09:12.000 Yeah.

01:09:12.000 Yes, sir.

01:09:14.000 Hello?

01:09:16.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:09:17.000 I just want to say thank you for inspiring me to have my first kid.

01:09:21.000 Me and my old lady, we just had our first son.

01:09:24.000 And when he was born, he actually didn't have any eyelids.

01:09:28.000 And we were really freaked out about it.

01:09:31.000 But we had a great doctor, a great surgeon, and they actually took care of his eyelids when they did his circumcision.

01:09:39.000 And he's a little cockeyed now, but he's doing great.

01:09:42.000 Thank you, Time Machine Man, for the oldest joke that's ever been said on this show.

01:09:50.000 Congratulations.

01:09:51.000 Did you actually have a kid?

01:09:55.000 By the way, speaking of kids, the woman who did our tats, this one, this one, and this one, and this one, just had her baby. 1.00

01:10:04.000 We're showing the pic?

01:10:06.000 Showing the pic.

01:10:07.000 Lauren Dowdy's got a little gal. 1.00

01:10:10.000 Look at her.

01:10:10.000 A little munchkin, a little blob, a little shrumpy little kid just lying on you.

01:10:17.000 You went through a pretty harrowing experience.

01:10:20.000 It's all over now.

01:10:21.000 Nine months of waiting for this experience.

01:10:24.000 Then you go through tough mutter.

01:10:26.000 You're basically passing gallstones while being punched in the head.

01:10:30.000 The worst sparring.

01:10:31.000 You're sparring Mike Tyson, basically.

01:10:34.000 Go back, dude.

01:10:35.000 Then you finally finish it.

01:10:38.000 And the reward is a little tiny human.

01:10:42.000 Yep. 1.00

01:10:43.000 I don't mean to get all Joe Biden on your ass, but you got a little human being there lying on you. 1.00

01:10:50.000 And it's not any human being. 1.00

01:10:52.000 It's a human being you just made. 0.98

01:10:55.000 Now, as a dad, you see that and you go, that's fucking awesome. 1.00

01:10:59.000 Holy shit, I'm so lucky. 0.99

01:11:01.000 I can't believe all this worked out. 0.99

01:11:03.000 What was I waiting so long for?

01:11:04.000 You touch them, you touch the baby, you touch your wife, and it's amazing.

01:11:10.000 It's inexplicably wonderful, but it's from afar, in a sense.

01:11:15.000 What she's experiencing is men will never know.

01:11:20.000 And this is what I hate about the whole trans movement. 1.00

01:11:22.000 What Lauren is experiencing right now is so beyond her husband, me, the doctors, like it's another universe.

01:11:32.000 Her and her daughter right now are in outer space.

01:11:37.000 They're time traveling, they're in another dimension.

01:11:40.000 They're experiencing, I might even tear up just talking about it. 0.99

01:11:43.000 They're experiencing shit that is more intense than we could ever fathom. 0.98

01:11:51.000 And it's an honor just to be in the room with them. 1.00

01:11:55.000 You're like, you're watching someone time travel and go into another dimension and experience this outer space shit. 1.00

01:12:01.000 This magical shit. 1.00

01:12:02.000 They're basically at one with God. 1.00

01:12:05.000 And we're just like, I'm happy I'm here.

01:12:07.000 But what you must be going through is something else.

01:12:10.000 And hey, Trannies. 1.00

01:12:12.000 Hey, Parker Malloy.

01:12:14.000 Hey, Caitlyn Jenner. 1.00

01:12:16.000 Hey, you pathetic phonies. 1.00

01:12:18.000 Who's the one in Vancouver who always fights journalists? 1.00

01:12:21.000 Jessica Yaniv.

01:12:23.000 You're not part of this, my friend.

01:12:26.000 Sorry.

01:12:27.000 What you're experiencing is a pale imitation of the reality of womanhood. 1.00

01:12:34.000 No, that doesn't mean you're a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. 1.00

01:12:38.000 It means that this picture should prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that you can never accrue womanhood. 0.96

01:12:49.000 Anyway, let's go behind the paywall now. 0.86

01:12:52.000 Goodbye, cheapskates. 1.00

01:12:53.000 I really think you should sign up for Censored.TV.

01:12:56.000 No one pays for it besides you.

01:12:59.000 True. 0.99

01:12:59.000 So when you see this shit, you're getting my honest opinion and our honest opinions of what's going on in the news, but Bill Gates didn't pay for us to talk about climate change. 0.99

01:13:11.000 So it's pretty rare in this day and age you can see cultural commentary that is totally unbiased. 0.99

01:13:18.000 And I'm often wrong.

01:13:19.000 People will mail in and go, that wasn't true, that thing you saw was a meme, blah, blah, blah.

01:13:24.000 We correct those things too.

01:13:26.000 We're all learning together.

01:13:27.000 This is not an agenda.

01:13:29.000 Which is remarkably rare.

01:13:32.000 All journalists and mainstream media are political activists now.

01:13:36.000 They work at a PR firm.

01:13:38.000 And we've seen that with the death of the internet.

01:13:41.000 And how they're burning books on it.

01:13:43.000 On a daily basis.

01:13:44.000 Anyway, we're going to keep taking calls.

01:13:46.000 We're going to keep doing the live chats.

01:13:48.000 We're going to talk to you people.

01:13:50.000 But I only want to talk to the people that are willing to pay a beer and a half a month.

01:13:56.000 to see this show. 1.00

01:13:56.000 The rest of you can go fuck yourselves. 1.00

01:13:58.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 1.00

01:14:04.000 We'll be back in 20 seconds.

01:14:06.000 Ryan Katsu Rivera says, did you hear what the news is saying about the bird

01:14:25.000 Which is the bald eagle.

01:14:26.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:14:31.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:14:39.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:14:41.000 It sounds cool when you say the bird which is the bald eagle.

01:14:56.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:14:58.000 What are you talking about?

01:15:03.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:15:08.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 21, 2022

GOML LIVE #162 - NO WACK PACK (Part 1)

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Summary

Transcript