Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #166 - TAKIN A RIDE (Part 1)

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:43.000 That was The Replacements, 1981's... Sorry, Mara, I forgot to take out the trash.

00:00:52.000 I just got this weird box set.

00:01:05.000 I read about it from my old pal Johnson Cummins of the Doughboys.

00:01:10.000 Catching up on my old pals from Montreal.

00:01:13.000 He's still writing and he was writing about this. 0.67

00:01:15.000 I have the vinyl already so that's kind of gay. 0.95

00:01:18.000 But it comes with this cool booklet.

00:01:22.000 Back before we had cell phones, kids, we would sit and just look at records and the booklets that came with them, or just stare at the record itself, like the case the LP came in.

00:01:36.000 But the reason I got this is because, according to Johnson Cummins, the live CD out of the four CDs here, the live one is apparently quite a big deal. 0.98

00:01:47.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:01:48.000 I hate when they do this. 1.00

00:01:49.000 It's hard to put it back in.

00:01:54.000 Seminole, Minneapolis band.

00:01:54.000 So we'll be checking that out.

00:02:01.000 Bob Stinson was the bassist.

00:02:05.000 He always wanted them to stay hard, stay heavy.

00:02:07.000 So they started getting better at their instruments and they started wanting to play more poppy stuff.

00:02:12.000 And it pissed him off.

00:02:13.000 So on the album Tim, they had the song One Good Dose of Thunder to try to appease him, but he was pissed off that they were becoming a pop band.

00:02:21.000 They're a great band to go through adolescence with, because you go from hardcore to like great pop. 0.94

00:02:27.000 But he's joined a band with Cheetah Chrome from the Dead Boys, and it was called Cheetah Chrome and the Motherfuckers.

00:02:33.000 And we were opening for them in Ottawa at Zaphod Beeblebrox.

00:02:36.000 And on the way over the border, Bob Stinson of The Replacements,

00:02:42.000 Got out of the van and pissed on the border guard.

00:02:46.000 The little booth where they take your passports.

00:02:48.000 He just got out and pissed.

00:02:50.000 And they had hired a guy, paid a guy, to make sure that Bob doesn't do anything like that.

00:02:55.000 So Bob was, I mean, that guy was promptly fired.

00:02:58.000 And Bob died of, I think, alcohol soon after that.

00:03:03.000 So that's sad.

00:03:04.000 Poor Bobby Stinson.

00:03:06.000 What a fantastic band, though.

00:03:08.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn Live.

00:03:11.000 We have Matty O'Dell, the co-host here.

00:03:14.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:03:15.000 Up to his old tricks again.

00:03:16.000 He looks like Knicky in Greece there. 0.51

00:03:18.000 And it looks like Lord of Flatbush.

00:03:23.000 You remember that movie?

00:03:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:25.000 And then, of course, we have Sylvia back.

00:03:28.000 Oh, right.

00:03:30.000 Sylvia's been planning to show up for a while here, but she was under the weather feeling weak.

00:03:36.000 What was going on with you?

00:03:38.000 It's just the dizziness.

00:03:40.000 And what's the dizziness from?

00:03:42.000 Too much sex. 0.98

00:03:46.000 So you've had, you've had 14 less fucks this week and it's made you, I mean, it's turned you into John Waters, but you're still able to show up to the show and perform for us and deliver your funny takes on everything. 0.99

00:04:01.000 Right? 0.96

00:04:02.000 It's fun.

00:04:03.000 Yeah.

00:04:04.000 Are you going to have some funny takes today?

00:04:07.000 Some what?

00:04:08.000 Funny takes.

00:04:09.000 Of course. 0.99

00:04:10.000 Because if you don't, you're fucking fired. 0.99

00:04:11.000 You're not getting a penny. 0.99

00:04:13.000 Oh, we're getting it on.

00:04:15.000 Funny as could be.

00:04:17.000 You better be.

00:04:17.000 Ryan, can you hear OK?

00:04:18.000 Because if we can't hear you, you're fired.

00:04:20.000 Line them up.

00:04:21.000 No, loud and clear, we hear you.

00:04:22.000 I might pay you per quip.

00:04:24.000 PPQ.

00:04:29.000 Yeah, quid pro quip.

00:04:32.000 This shirt I'm wearing is not for sale.

00:04:33.000 Someone gave this to us at one of the shows.

00:04:36.000 I think it was the Vegas show.

00:04:38.000 Yes.

00:04:39.000 It's nice.

00:04:39.000 Yeah.

00:04:41.000 I don't think it'll sell, so we won't make it.

00:04:43.000 But someone had a Sylvia shirt on. 1.00

00:04:46.000 Yeah.

00:04:47.000 At the show.

00:04:49.000 Check this out.

00:04:51.000 I just opened the bottle with my cap gun.

00:04:54.000 Right. 1.00

00:04:54.000 And now I'm going to shoot to kill Sylvia. 1.00

00:04:57.000 All right, I'm ready. 0.99

00:04:59.000 You're supposed to put it back before you open it up. 0.99

00:04:59.000 Oh, I fucked up. 0.99

00:05:04.000 Stupid boy, stupid boy. 1.00

00:05:06.000 You ready, Sylvia? 1.00

00:05:07.000 I'm ready.

00:05:09.000 This could be the end of you.

00:05:10.000 Oh, I didn't make it.

00:05:14.000 How far does that go?

00:05:15.000 Not very... Close, but no cigar.

00:05:17.000 Yeah, it went about 20 feet.

00:05:20.000 They should specify that.

00:05:21.000 I feel like the next one's going to be big.

00:05:24.000 I like how the girl behind him has a don't do shots or coke hat on.

00:05:33.000 I, um, I used to, I was such a drunk as a young man.

00:05:37.000 I would write messages on my body to girls. 0.82

00:05:39.000 Like, please put a condom on this. 0.99

00:05:42.000 I wrote it on my belly when I was passed out.

00:05:45.000 And then I would write, don't let me do shots or Coke on my shirt.

00:05:49.000 And then I started making them.

00:05:50.000 I made a, like one with an iron on and then we started manufacturing them.

00:05:53.000 It's not a joke.

00:05:54.000 It's not a joke.

00:05:55.000 It's not a joke, man.

00:05:56.000 It's not a joke.

00:05:56.000 Not a joke.

00:05:59.000 I think about the years, how old I am, I think about it as much as a fly.

00:06:04.000 We'll be getting to that tomorrow.

00:06:05.000 We have pre-recorded a four-hour episode of Get Off My Lawn for you guys tomorrow.

00:06:10.000 Jam-packed!

00:06:12.000 Speaking of packed, let's give a shout-out to Shell Shock CBD. 1.00

00:06:12.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:06:16.000 In today's crazy world, quality sleep and much-needed relaxation can be hard to come by. 0.99

00:06:20.000 Enter Shell Shock CBD, the nation's fastest-growing

00:06:24.000 Veteran-owned CBD and Delta-8 supplement company, Shell Shock offers a variety of non-THC products as well as products that contain THC.

00:06:36.000 Try a THC-free Rackout CBD Gummi infused with melatonin for superior sleep or a Delta-8 THC Halo Gummi to experience a euphoric high and premium relaxation.

00:06:48.000 Now, Matty, you tried having two Delta-8s at once.

00:06:51.000 Yeah.

00:06:52.000 That was a bit much, would you say?

00:06:54.000 Two at once was a bit much.

00:06:54.000 Yeah.

00:06:56.000 One is good.

00:06:57.000 Two, you wouldn't recommend.

00:06:59.000 Don't recommend two.

00:07:00.000 It's like sleeping with a female bodybuilder. 1.00

00:07:02.000 No bueno.

00:07:03.000 No bueno.

00:07:04.000 Even when I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I had my hand on the wall as I walked from my bedroom to the bathroom.

00:07:11.000 I'm like, Oh Jesus, I'm still high.

00:07:14.000 But they're good.

00:07:16.000 No doubt about it.

00:07:17.000 Well, when my wife had some, she had to put ice on her chest and I had to basically sing and dance like a court jester till one in the morning to avoid having to take her to the hospital.

00:07:28.000 She was freaking out.

00:07:31.000 They also offer sample packs of all their gummies as well as their all new CBD energy sticks and Delta ATHC chocolate bars.

00:07:38.000 Shell Shock products are 100% grown, harvested, and manufactured right here in America.

00:07:43.000 All products are also third-party tested to ensure optimal quality is always achieved and transparency is always given.

00:07:50.000 Go to Shell Shock CBD

00:07:55.000 Okay.

00:07:56.000 Shell Shock.

00:07:58.000 S-H-E-L-L. 0.98

00:08:00.000 Shock is spelled normal.

00:08:01.000 S-H-O-C-K. 1.00

00:08:03.000 And then CBD.com forward slash Gavin.

00:08:07.000 And use codes Gavin or G-O-M-L.

00:08:10.000 G-O-M-L for 10% off your order.

00:08:12.000 And be sure to follow them on Instagram.

00:08:14.000 Shell Shock Wellness.

00:08:16.000 Why can't you just get high on life?

00:08:20.000 Life doesn't always supply.

00:08:22.000 Life will often fall short of CBDs.

00:08:27.000 What about, you used to do tons of drugs.

00:08:29.000 You used to do heroin before you turned into John Waters.

00:08:32.000 Who?

00:08:32.000 Not me.

00:08:33.000 Yes you!

00:08:34.000 Never.

00:08:36.000 We see the tracks in your arms, Sylvia.

00:08:38.000 Never did, never.

00:08:40.000 Did cocaine in bed, and it wasn't true.

00:08:44.000 Cocaine does not make you go longer, sexually.

00:08:48.000 That's the only drug I ever did, cocaine.

00:08:51.000 Well, cocaine isn't supposed to make women go longer. 1.00

00:08:53.000 No, in bed, sexually.

00:08:55.000 It doesn't make you go longer. 0.99

00:08:57.000 If anything, it numbs your sexual apparatus.

00:09:02.000 Yeah, but that would make you go longer, wouldn't it? 0.62

00:09:05.000 No, it doesn't. 1.00

00:09:07.000 My experience with cocaine and intercourse is, if it's a new girl, you could just kill your dick and you might ruin it. 1.00

00:09:13.000 But if it's someone that you have been a girlfriend with for a while, or a wife, then you can't not get it up. 1.00

00:09:20.000 Because it's just like you.

00:09:22.000 No, you get it up, it just numbs it.

00:09:26.000 That's what happened to me and this guy.

00:09:30.000 Who?

00:09:31.000 What was his name?

00:09:32.000 John Toluca.

00:09:34.000 So he's an Italian gentleman?

00:09:36.000 Half Italian, half Spanish.

00:09:40.000 And the cocaine did not help his performance?

00:09:43.000 No, he got hard, but it just didn't, we didn't go longer.

00:09:49.000 The only reason we did it was to go longer sexually.

00:09:52.000 So you did it too?

00:09:54.000 Me and him, yeah. 0.99

00:09:56.000 Have you ever put cocaine on your genitalia? 0.99

00:09:58.000 Yes, that's what I'm talking about. 0.99

00:10:00.000 Wake up and smell the roses. 1.00

00:10:04.000 So, did he snort it or he put it on his penis and you put it on your vagina? 1.00

00:10:08.000 No, he put it on his dick and he put it on me. 1.00

00:10:10.000 Huh. 1.00

00:10:12.000 And all it does is numb you.

00:10:15.000 Yeah.

00:10:16.000 Have you ever tried that?

00:10:17.000 I've tried that.

00:10:18.000 No.

00:10:19.000 I've had girls sniff it off.

00:10:22.000 I've sniffed it once and all it does is make you go way up to heaven and then crashing down to the pits of hell.

00:10:30.000 So it's not for me. 0.99

00:10:32.000 I sniffed it off a dude's dick once just because there was no table around. 1.00

00:10:37.000 And we were like, shit man. 1.00

00:10:38.000 And then he was like, I'll just get a boner. 1.00

00:10:39.000 That'll be the table. 0.99

00:10:40.000 And I was like, okay, but no homo. 1.00

00:10:41.000 And he's like, it's just a portable table. 0.97

00:10:44.000 Pause, no homo. 1.00

00:10:45.000 Yeah.

00:10:46.000 A portable table.

00:10:48.000 So you know how this show goes.

00:10:51.000 It's free to everyone in the entire world and that's why we read ads.

00:10:56.000 We don't normally read ads on this show.

00:11:01.000 Are off to Dallas tomorrow doing a show.

00:11:03.000 It's kind of badly organized.

00:11:07.000 It's a tiny venue.

00:11:08.000 I think we had about 500 people in Orlando.

00:11:12.000 So we went, okay, well this place holds like 250 or 100.

00:11:17.000 So let's just book it four times.

00:11:19.000 One, two, three, four.

00:11:22.000 But I don't think we're getting 500 people.

00:11:24.000 So I think it might be four shows of 50 people.

00:11:28.000 Which is weird.

00:11:30.000 That's like driving someone somewhere and just taking one person at a time in the passenger seat.

00:11:36.000 We'll see how it goes.

00:11:38.000 I'm gonna do Glenn Beck's show tomorrow so I think it's behind the paywall but we'll get something out of it.

00:11:46.000 We'll get some freebie from him.

00:11:47.000 Maybe he'll let us, I know his producer, maybe she'll let us keep it and put it on the air.

00:11:52.000 What are you printing out over there?

00:11:53.000 We just got another reed.

00:11:56.000 Fresh from the presses.

00:11:58.000 I don't play the oboe.

00:11:59.000 I'm not excited about extra reeds.

00:12:03.000 That was a weird one.

00:12:04.000 Yeah, that was a good one.

00:12:06.000 Clean humor.

00:12:08.000 Clean humor.

00:12:10.000 Reeds in the woodwind family.

00:12:12.000 60 second reed?

00:12:13.000 No, I'm not doing that.

00:12:17.000 So yeah, we do the reads, we got the guests, and this is also a show where we try to raise money for Max and John, as I'll discuss tomorrow, which I discussed today. 0.98

00:12:28.000 Antifa beat the living shit. 0.99

00:12:30.000 They mobbed two Marines, said, you're white supremacists, you're proud boys. 1.00

00:12:35.000 They said, no, we're Mexicans. 0.92

00:12:36.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:12:38.000 And they said, fuck you, spick. 1.00

00:12:40.000 Fuck you, wetback. 1.00

00:12:40.000 Spat on them as they were pounding them. 1.00

00:12:43.000 The authorities seized three of these gentlemen.

00:12:45.000 One of them was a major player in Antifa, which is just an idea.

00:12:48.000 It's not an organization, according to Joe Biden, a guy who compares himself to a fly.

00:12:55.000 No charges.

00:12:56.000 No nothing.

00:12:56.000 No probation.

00:12:57.000 No misdemeanor.

00:12:59.000 Don't worry about it, guys.

00:13:00.000 You can beat up our military anytime you want.

00:13:03.000 I'm a little disappointed, by the way, that the Marines lost. 0.99

00:13:08.000 When I get out my Amazon Prime account, and I watch Reacher, and I watch the list, the Marine wins those fights, especially up against these fat loser turds. 0.94

00:13:21.000 You should see these guys. 0.94

00:13:22.000 Pull them up, Brian. 0.99

00:13:23.000 Get the hell out of here, brown people! 1.00

00:13:29.000 That was actually their quote. 0.99

00:13:32.000 The producer, Beck, goes, you want to talk about anything in particular?

00:13:34.000 And I go, yeah, I have something on my mind.

00:13:38.000 The allegations we get from the left are never accurate.

00:13:41.000 You follow QAnon. 0.99

00:13:43.000 You, uh, you are scared of homosexuals. 0.99

00:13:47.000 You want trans people not to exist. 1.00

00:13:50.000 You want to kill them all. 1.00

00:13:52.000 Not even close. 1.00

00:13:53.000 None of that's close. 0.99

00:13:55.000 Trump said Mexicans are rapists.

00:13:57.000 Trump said that there's good people on both sides. 0.98

00:14:00.000 Nazis can be good. 1.00

00:14:01.000 He never said that.

00:14:03.000 And I'm just like, I want a valid allegation.

00:14:06.000 I want to be able to argue my points.

00:14:08.000 You've got me arguing other people's points.

00:14:12.000 So that's who the Marines can't beat up?

00:14:15.000 Dude.

00:14:16.000 Maybe they chose not to.

00:14:17.000 They chose not violence that day. 1.00

00:14:19.000 Well, that's dumb. 0.99

00:14:20.000 Who are those? 0.99

00:14:21.000 Rapos?

00:14:22.000 Those are Antifa.

00:14:23.000 And but the guy first guy with the glasses is a major player.

00:14:26.000 Kroll?

00:14:27.000 And the reason that guy, Beardy.

00:14:32.000 But the reason they got away with it, of course, is it's a Soros appointed D.A.

00:14:36.000 And it's the reason that Proud Boys and any Patriots.

00:14:38.000 It's the reason the Jan Six guys are in jail right now. 0.99

00:14:41.000 Soros. 0.78

00:14:42.000 You can buy America. 0.74

00:14:43.000 You can buy American justice.

00:14:46.000 That means we're Venezuela by the way.

00:14:54.000 So yeah, we take calls.

00:14:56.000 We go through the mailbag.

00:14:59.000 And then we have this live chat that is for Max and John.

00:15:02.000 We've raised $17,000 for them.

00:15:04.000 They get out in, I think, March.

00:15:06.000 I'm going to go visit them in a couple weeks.

00:15:10.000 It's funny because the only way we can make the seven hour trip bearable is to stop at bars and get wasted.

00:15:18.000 So then you get there, it's like 3 a.m.

00:15:22.000 And then you got to get up at like six. 0.99

00:15:25.000 So when you're visiting them, you're hungover, you feel like shit, you look like shit, and you're just like, hey, so what's going on? 0.98

00:15:32.000 And they're like, hey, oh, wow, it's great to see you. 0.98

00:15:34.000 Okay, so you wouldn't believe what's going on here. 0.93

00:15:36.000 This Muslim guy got beat up and blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:15:38.000 And you're just like, oh, it sucks. 1.00

00:15:41.000 Anyway, we should probably get going here.

00:15:43.000 It's not a good setup.

00:15:44.000 Should probably leave two days early.

00:15:50.000 Yeah, one day to recuperate so we're all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when you meet them.

00:15:50.000 One day to recuperate.

00:15:56.000 And so we read these, we read the letters and all that stuff and then we go behind the paywall in anywhere from 10 minutes from now to 40 minutes from now and then it gets a little raunchier.

00:16:09.000 And Sylvia gets nude.

00:16:11.000 She brought a whole thing of lingerie and she's going to be doing a sexy dance. 1.00

00:16:16.000 And here's the funnest part about Sylvia's striptease that she's going to do. 0.98

00:16:20.000 We brought kids!

00:16:22.000 So she's going to be doing a sexy dance and kids are going to be giving her money and she's going to put it in her underwear. 1.00

00:16:31.000 That'll be cool, right?

00:16:32.000 I don't wear underwear. 0.99

00:16:35.000 They'll be putting it in your butt crack. 1.00

00:16:37.000 But show that video you were just talking about, Ryan. 1.00

00:16:40.000 Like, we don't like the Drag Queen Story Hour, and we don't give a fuck about drag queens. 1.00

00:16:44.000 Go nuts. 0.99

00:16:44.000 We know there's drag queens in every bar in the world. 0.99

00:16:46.000 This isn't drag queens. 1.00

00:16:48.000 This is actual strippers now. 1.00

00:16:50.000 We've crossed the line.

00:16:51.000 Well, this should have been the first step before the drag strippers. 1.00

00:16:57.000 It's kind of like they're going backwards.

00:16:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:00.000 Now, that might be some sort of weird dude with a taped-up dick. 1.00

00:17:03.000 I don't... Do you know? 1.00

00:17:05.000 I don't think so.

00:17:05.000 It looks like a female body to me.

00:17:08.000 But I guess they're good at that?

00:17:11.000 No, they're not. 0.99

00:17:12.000 What the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:17:16.000 Like, my parents were big drinkers, partiers. 1.00

00:17:19.000 If they saw this, and I was 8 there, they would- Hey, look at the kid in the corner.

00:17:25.000 That's who I'm talking about.

00:17:26.000 He's gotta be 7?

00:17:27.000 Yeah, 7 or 8.

00:17:30.000 He's younger than my youngest boy.

00:17:34.000 What? 0.75

00:17:36.000 And I can't believe that we've been sitting here saying, look, it's not that you're gay. 0.98

00:17:39.000 It's like, what if there was a stripper? 0.95

00:17:41.000 We'd have a problem with that.

00:17:43.000 And they go, oh, we got strippers. 1.00

00:17:45.000 What does, what does Libs of TikTok say about that one?

00:17:49.000 That's a new level here.

00:17:51.000 A stripper performs at an all ages drag show while a kid in the front row attempts to hand the stripper a cash tip.

00:17:56.000 So that might be a dude. 0.99

00:17:59.000 You know, you take enough estrogen, you get fake tits, you probably get hips. 1.00

00:18:05.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:18:09.000 Is that the show?

00:18:12.000 All Ages Drag Show, this is their whole thing here.

00:18:15.000 Drag Party, let's see, one of the flyers.

00:18:19.000 Here we go. 1.00

00:18:19.000 You know, the allegation from the far right is that they're there to groom kids to fuck them. 1.00

00:18:25.000 I don't think it's that simple or that complicated. 1.00

00:18:28.000 I think it's just a giant fuck you to Christians, to the right, to everything. 1.00

00:18:34.000 Uh-oh, I think this might be out of batteries, Rye Guy. 1.00

00:18:36.000 All Ages event, it says.

00:18:38.000 Oh, no, no.

00:18:39.000 When you try to turn it on without the hub turned on, I don't turn on the hub.

00:18:42.000 Oh, I see.

00:18:44.000 Bye, Felicia! 0.98

00:18:45.000 It's so weird that they've taken this new angle in life. 1.00

00:18:53.000 Drag queens were always the clowns of the gay community. 1.00

00:18:57.000 It wasn't political. 1.00

00:18:58.000 It was a silly exaggeration.

00:19:01.000 It wasn't even as serious as that strike a pose Vogue thing where they fall down and all that.

00:19:05.000 That was more serious.

00:19:07.000 That was considered their like breakdancing. 0.99

00:19:11.000 It was as ridiculous and gay as everything else, but it had more credibility in a way. 1.00

00:19:15.000 But the drag queens were just like silly, like literally clowns. 1.00

00:19:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:21.000 No one went like, did you hear what Miss fucking garbage cunt had to say about Ukraine? 1.00

00:19:28.000 It was just, and I think they made most gays uncomfortable, just like clowns do. 1.00

00:19:33.000 But now they're an integral part of the international discussion on children's welfare. 0.99

00:19:39.000 How the F did we get here?

00:19:41.000 Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how did we arrive here?

00:19:44.000 And like, who brings their kids there?

00:19:47.000 Like, who are the people that bring their kids there?

00:19:50.000 Single moms. 0.96

00:19:52.000 Disgruntled liberals.

00:19:54.000 You know what it's really about?

00:19:55.000 The core of it is about hatred of Trump.

00:19:58.000 Hatred of Republicans.

00:20:00.000 They know that we don't like it, so they do it. 0.74

00:20:03.000 If eating out of the ashtray pissed us off, they would all have ashes all over their lips.

00:20:09.000 It's just to spite us.

00:20:11.000 And they haven't thought anywhere past that.

00:20:14.000 And we wish they would. 0.98

00:20:15.000 Because sexualizing children is gross. 0.75

00:20:18.000 It's not cringe, it's not offensive, it's gross. 0.86

00:20:27.000 The other thing too is, I keep repeating this, children and sex, like they're very weirded out by any kind of adult intimacy.

00:20:36.000 Seeing adults kiss, a heterosexual couple kiss when you're eight, you're just like,

00:20:42.000 Get out of here! 0.99

00:20:43.000 I remember when my boy was about seven, he drew a picture and it was two people on a couch and they were watching TV and I go, what's going on here? 0.97

00:20:53.000 And he goes, oh, it's just two losers watching people kiss. 0.98

00:21:01.000 Gav, I accidentally shit my neighbor's cat. 1.00

00:21:03.000 Oh, shot. 0.99

00:21:04.000 That makes a lot more sense.

00:21:06.000 I accidentally shot my neighbor's cat the other night, thinking she was the pesky armadillo that's been rooting up my yard.

00:21:13.000 When I found out what I'd done, I had no remorse.

00:21:16.000 Something just felt right about it, but I doubt I'll ever do it again.

00:21:19.000 I don't think you can do it again.

00:21:20.000 Is the cat alive?

00:21:22.000 My completely unrelated question is, where would one find a place to dispose of dead cats?

00:21:29.000 Like a lot of dead cats.

00:21:30.000 Like eight dead cats.

00:21:32.000 You know that?

00:21:33.000 You had the makings of a true serial killer.

00:21:33.000 What?

00:21:36.000 Yeah, well he did.

00:21:38.000 He serial killed cats.

00:21:40.000 Yeah, I know. 0.91

00:21:41.000 I had a dead cat in my neighbor's yard that my neighbor, my old neighbor, was such an absolute cock and he wouldn't look at me and I'd smile and he'd just frown I guess because he hated racists.

00:21:53.000 You know what's amazing about you? 0.94

00:21:55.000 You have so much animal instinct in you and yet you kill a poor innocent cat.

00:22:02.000 Wait, I didn't kill a cat.

00:22:06.000 Oh, who did it?

00:22:07.000 Your mother?

00:22:08.000 No, Raymond... I'm reading a letter we got.

00:22:12.000 Can you not see the screen?

00:22:14.000 It's a $50 donation to the Max and John Fund where the guy killed a cat.

00:22:20.000 I ain't killed no cat!

00:22:21.000 You just got done saying you took a knife and you killed a cat!

00:22:25.000 A knife? 0.53

00:22:26.000 Yeah!

00:22:27.000 No, I'm reading a letter from a guy who shot a cat, Sylvia!

00:22:32.000 I ain't killed no cat, I got time for that!

00:22:34.000 You said you had a knife, the cat was at the door, it annoyed you and boom!

00:22:39.000 This is the second time this has happened to me in my life.

00:22:43.000 When I was about 14, I was walking to school and I saw a dead cat.

00:22:48.000 You know how they have that face?

00:22:51.000 What's that sound?

00:22:55.000 Someone mess around in the parking lot?

00:22:58.000 Anyway, I picked it up, I brought it to school, and then in our old school, the Earl of March in Kanata, there was a giant rock in front of the school.

00:23:06.000 So I propped it up on the rock in front of the school.

00:23:11.000 So when you exited the school, 1,500 people at the Earl of March, they saw this cat, like, because it had rigor mortis, so I could prop it up.

00:23:19.000 So 1,500 people saw a cat going, and they were screaming and crying.

00:23:23.000 It was really funny.

00:23:24.000 But the rumor became that I walked out my door, I picked up a cat, and I just smashed its head against the wall, killed it, and then brought it to school.

00:23:33.000 So this is the second time I've been accused of killing a cat.

00:23:35.000 Never killed a cat. 0.64

00:23:37.000 Don't care enough about cats to kill them. 0.71

00:23:40.000 So my neighbor had this dead cat stinking up the whole neighborhood, and I thought, I could be a nice guy and tell him that there's a dead cat... I think it was on our lawn?

00:23:51.000 I can't remember exactly where.

00:23:52.000 Was it his cat?

00:23:53.000 Maybe.

00:23:54.000 Or just a stray.

00:23:55.000 Maybe, but he had a gigantic, massive mansion. 1.00

00:23:58.000 I'd have to walk up the walkway and then deal with his bullshit. 1.00

00:24:01.000 Maybe he thinks I'm a criminal, I'm gonna shoot him, and I'm holding a dead cat. 1.00

00:24:04.000 So I just plopped it next to a tree on his property, and then I had a bunch of dirt for gardening and stuff, and I just poured it on top of the cat. 0.90

00:24:13.000 And then I left a note facing his property that said, dead cat with an arrow. 0.99

00:24:19.000 Maybe he thinks I fucking killed it. 0.98

00:24:23.000 Oh, I think the noise is back there. 0.99

00:24:24.000 Yeah.

00:24:29.000 So my advice for you, sir, would be to put eight cats in a large hole. 1.00

00:24:33.000 And I'm only humoring your stupid joke because you paid 50 bucks to Max and John. 1.00

00:24:37.000 Twenty five dollars each. 1.00

00:24:40.000 Patrick Bet David on YouTube just released a five hour podcast interview with Andrew Tate.

00:24:45.000 Yeah, that's from last week.

00:24:47.000 It's very interesting.

00:24:48.000 Ryan could probably.

00:24:49.000 Ryan, we got a letter.

00:24:52.000 Let's open the mailbag.

00:24:53.000 Okay.

00:24:54.000 That's inspired me.

00:24:55.000 We should play the interstitial.

00:24:57.000 Go down to...

00:24:57.000 Here we go!

00:25:17.000 Pretty good Andrew Tate impression.

00:25:20.000 Now this is a weird instinct.

00:25:22.000 I'm excited to watch this because I think it's going to hurt your feelings because you've been working on your Andrew Tate so hard and failing and this guy just knocked it out of the park.

00:25:30.000 Let's see.

00:25:31.000 And I'm happy that it's going to hurt you.

00:25:32.000 That's how cruel I am.

00:25:33.000 I don't get hurt very easily.

00:25:35.000 So Andrew, what do you think about drowning?

00:25:37.000 Drowning? 1.00

00:25:38.000 The fuck are you drowning for? 1.00

00:25:40.000 I don't care. 1.00

00:25:41.000 I don't want to hear the excuses.

00:25:43.000 You've been drinking water your entire life.

00:25:46.000 Just swallow it.

00:25:47.000 Drink the water.

00:25:48.000 Drink it.

00:25:50.000 And then breathe the air.

00:25:51.000 Imagine you're lying there and a lifeguard comes over.

00:25:55.000 It's CPR time.

00:25:58.000 Let's check if he's breathing. 1.00

00:25:59.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:26:00.000 I don't care. 1.00

00:26:01.000 It's fucking ridiculous. 1.00

00:26:02.000 Imagine you're surrounded. 1.00

00:26:05.000 If you're a real tough G, you breathe the air, you get up, you shake it off, and do some push-ups. 0.99

00:26:10.000 That's what I want to fucking see. 0.99

00:26:12.000 That is what I want to fucking see. 0.99

00:26:13.000 And that's beautiful. 1.00

00:26:16.000 The brown people are leaving! 1.00

00:26:17.000 We're so excited! 1.00

00:26:18.000 Go brown people, go! 1.00

00:26:19.000 Don't come home! 1.00

00:26:21.000 Did you make the Joe Biden Nazi fags one yet? 1.00

00:26:24.000 What? 0.99

00:26:25.000 What are you talking about?

00:26:27.000 Oh yeah, that doesn't make sense.

00:26:30.000 So are you hurting as much as I want you to?

00:26:32.000 No.

00:26:33.000 What?

00:26:34.000 That's someone who took away something that you wanted.

00:26:37.000 Usually when I hear a good impression I go, wow.

00:26:40.000 No, I want you to be bitter.

00:26:41.000 I'm like Howard Stern.

00:26:43.000 All my questions are like, so were you jealous when you saw your brother was Bill Murray?

00:26:47.000 But that's gotta hurt your feelings, doesn't it?

00:26:50.000 You gotta resent that, right?

00:26:52.000 Did you always get mad?

00:26:53.000 I heard him when I was going on that road trip recently to Albany.

00:26:57.000 He was interviewing Rosie O'Donnell, and you think of all the things you could talk about. 1.00

00:27:00.000 I don't like Rosie O'Donnell, but she's done a lot of shit. 1.00

00:27:03.000 And his main thing, and he came back to this three times, was you had the biggest talk show in the world, and you quit it, and do you look back and think of all the money you could have made? 0.99

00:27:14.000 And does that bother you?

00:27:16.000 She's worth like, I don't know, 300 million dollars. 1.00

00:27:19.000 She's a fucking lesbian. 1.00

00:27:21.000 She doesn't need any money. 1.00

00:27:23.000 She's got a bunch of adopted kids she doesn't give a shit about. 1.00

00:27:26.000 What? 0.99

00:27:27.000 I wish I had 400 million?

00:27:29.000 What is he? 1.00

00:27:30.000 He's such a fucking... 1.00

00:27:34.000 Petty, bitter, Long Island nerd. 1.00

00:27:38.000 Yes, I'm avoiding the other word. 0.96

00:27:41.000 You did a... Damn. 1.00

00:27:43.000 Jerk. 1.00

00:27:47.000 Juicy shithead. 1.00

00:27:51.000 He's from New Jersey. 0.99

00:27:52.000 Daughter worked in a store.

00:27:55.000 Sylvia, are you a Jew or a Christian?

00:27:57.000 I'm a Christian.

00:27:59.000 What?

00:28:00.000 I'm a Christian.

00:28:03.000 But you're Jewish. 0.95

00:28:04.000 Yeah.

00:28:05.000 So is Jesus.

00:28:12.000 My daughter worked in a toy store. 0.99

00:28:14.000 Rosie O'Donnell came in, looked at everything, bugged the shit out of my daughter. 1.00

00:28:20.000 How much is this? 0.98

00:28:21.000 How much is that?

00:28:22.000 Didn't buy anything.

00:28:24.000 Then she said, where's the ladies room? 1.00

00:28:26.000 My daughter was the only one working the store. 0.99

00:28:29.000 She said, it's over there.

00:28:31.000 Oh no, you gotta take me to it.

00:28:33.000 She says, oh no, I don't.

00:28:36.000 I'm not leaving the register.

00:28:39.000 And she kept telling him, oh you gotta take me to the bathroom. 0.96

00:28:43.000 My mom cut Sherry Oteri's hair and she didn't tip. 1.00

00:28:47.000 Really?

00:28:47.000 Yeah.

00:28:49.000 These Irish people are sounding a lot like the Chosen Ones. 1.00

00:28:54.000 They're part of the tribe.

00:28:55.000 That's charitable, huh? 1.00

00:28:58.000 Yeah, I heard she's a nightmare shitty mom. 1.00

00:28:59.000 Is Whoopi Goldberg still alive? 1.00

00:29:02.000 Who?

00:29:02.000 Whoopi Goldberg.

00:29:04.000 I thought you said Rube Goldberg.

00:29:08.000 Well yeah, he died.

00:29:10.000 A big white hand came and hit a ball that knocked down a thing and then that went over a long circular thing that started some dominoes and that flew up and popped a balloon which then ignited a flame and burnt his house down.

00:29:25.000 Um, yeah, Whoopi Goldberg's still alive.

00:29:27.000 I mean, sort of.

00:29:28.000 She's supposed to be very sick, physically.

00:29:34.000 She had the nerve when Donald Trump caught the virus and was in the hospital.

00:29:40.000 Oh, he probably made it up.

00:29:42.000 Now, come on. 0.99

00:29:43.000 How friggin' petty can you be? 1.00

00:29:46.000 What if we did a deep dive on everything stupid Whoopi Goldberg has ever said? 1.00

00:29:50.000 It would be a fucking marathon episode. 1.00

00:29:54.000 I like this one comedian goes, okay, she's a comedian, right? 0.99

00:29:57.000 That's how she made her name. 0.99

00:29:59.000 That's her bread and butter. 1.00

00:30:00.000 Name a joke.

00:30:02.000 What joke has Whoopi Goldberg ever said?

00:30:07.000 My fellow Americans, if you have an IRA, 401k or savings account, things are getting scary out there.

00:30:12.000 The Biden administration has already printed more money in the past two years than the previous 100 years combined.

00:30:18.000 Doesn't that sound like a lie?

00:30:20.000 That can't be true.

00:30:22.000 Yet it is.

00:30:24.000 The national debt just hit a record $30 trillion, and inflation is the highest we've seen since 1982.

00:30:30.000 It's only a matter of time before the House of Cards comes crashing down.

00:30:34.000 I mean, it already is coming crashing down in a sense.

00:30:36.000 If you have retirement savings, your money could be at serious risk.

00:30:40.000 You know, when when Biden was elected president, my dad took out 100 percent of all his investments, stocks, bonds, 401k.

00:30:47.000 He lost.

00:30:49.000 I don't think it was 100,000, but he lost tens of thousands of dollars.

00:30:52.000 And my brother and I made fun of him.

00:30:54.000 And he he.

00:30:56.000 Stirred, he stewed, he was pissed.

00:31:01.000 And here he is now going, I told you so.

00:31:05.000 Now you can't leave.

00:31:06.000 Yeah.

00:31:08.000 And he was totally right.

00:31:09.000 He wins.

00:31:10.000 He was smart to turn his savings into cash.

00:31:13.000 He's making like, I don't know, 1% a year and he's way ahead of everyone else.

00:31:19.000 Not losing.

00:31:22.000 Talk to my friends at Gold Co.

00:31:25.000 to see how you can protect your retirement.

00:31:27.000 Ideally, there's a Gold Co.

00:31:28.000 that comes up behind me, Ryan.

00:31:31.000 That would be perfect.

00:31:33.000 Talk to my friends at Gold Co.

00:31:34.000 to see how you can protect your retirement with gold and silver before it's too late.

00:31:38.000 Go to GavinLikesGold.com.

00:31:43.000 Any day now we could go there.

00:31:45.000 The link doesn't work.

00:31:47.000 Really?

00:31:48.000 Let me see.

00:31:49.000 I'm going to try Gavinlovesgolds.com.

00:31:52.000 I'm being told.

00:31:52.000 And they will give you up to $10,000 in free silver when you open an account.

00:31:56.000 There we go.

00:31:56.000 Gavinlovesgolds.com.

00:31:59.000 So the mentally unstable, absolute trash bag of a sales guy got the name of the URL wrong in the ad. 0.99

00:32:08.000 That's impressive. 0.99

00:32:09.000 That almost lost us the ad.

00:32:12.000 You know what I've noticed? 0.97

00:32:13.000 I have this pain in my tits and it hurts to go like that. 0.96

00:32:18.000 I haven't been to the gym since I broke my hand. 0.95

00:32:22.000 Why?

00:32:23.000 And then I realized we have that weight set in the garage.

00:32:26.000 I get drunk and I go to the garage and max out till I'm like bleeding.

00:32:30.000 That's really dangerous, man.

00:32:33.000 Why?

00:32:33.000 Do you have those stoppers?

00:32:35.000 What, it's going to fall and choke me?

00:32:37.000 Well, here's what you do.

00:32:37.000 Do you put the collars on that clip the weights on?

00:32:40.000 Yeah.

00:32:40.000 Don't.

00:32:41.000 Because if it falls on you, you could just dump it.

00:32:43.000 Dude, I'm not lifting 500 pounds.

00:32:45.000 Dude, a 45 could still... I looked it up.

00:32:49.000 It's happened like 13 times in world history.

00:32:52.000 And one of them was a guy who was going to court in a case that involved Hillary Clinton.

00:33:00.000 And a couple days before the case, perfectly balanced on his neck.

00:33:06.000 Wow.

00:33:07.000 I mean, you think of all the different ways to get out of that.

00:33:10.000 I understand you really hurting your windpipe.

00:33:13.000 I understand you bruising yourself, crushing yourself.

00:33:16.000 But like holding a weight and balancing it like a seesaw on your neck until you suffocate?

00:33:24.000 Not possible, but not likely.

00:33:27.000 Yeah.

00:33:29.000 Anyway, I just stuffed an anti-Hillary Clinton conspiracy theory within an advertisement.

00:33:33.000 That's the beauty of this show.

00:33:35.000 So go to Gavin, not likes, loves gold, and they will give you $10,000 in free silver when you open an account.

00:33:45.000 Gavinlovesgold.com.

00:33:47.000 Gavin loves gold!

00:33:51.000 I was at our local, by the way, today to pick up Sylvia.

00:33:55.000 Had a couple beers first.

00:33:56.000 Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

00:33:59.000 I like him.

00:34:00.000 This sort of haggard chick and then the quiet guy who always sit around the corner.

00:34:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:05.000 Just fucking filling up the jukebox with new country for an hour. 1.00

00:34:10.000 Toby, I don't dislike Toby Keith, but some of the other shit 1.00

00:34:15.000 Like, that's the biggest tires I've ever seen on a pickup truck! 0.99

00:34:18.000 You're just like, dude... Shut up! 1.00

00:34:23.000 Oh boy. 1.00

00:34:23.000 It's like Sylvia cannot get here fast enough. 1.00

00:34:26.000 I gotta get out of this.

00:34:26.000 I can't walk?

00:34:32.000 Um... Alright, so uh... We've opened that Pandora's box of the letters.

00:34:39.000 And why don't we open that Pandora's box of the calls?

00:34:47.000 That's exactly what they were playing.

00:34:59.000 Maybe I'm a grump and I'm not used to being at bars past 3 p.m.

00:35:08.000 or 5 p.m.

00:35:10.000 Is that normal?

00:35:11.000 You go out more than me. 0.98

00:35:12.000 Is it like normal to be there at 630 and they're fucking rocking out? 0.95

00:35:16.000 I guess they're just coming home from work. 0.95

00:35:18.000 Having a couple beers before they go home.

00:35:22.000 But you don't even like music in any bar.

00:35:24.000 I don't like music.

00:35:25.000 Whatever makes you happy.

00:35:26.000 In fact, I think that's a song on this album.

00:35:28.000 I don't like music.

00:35:30.000 I don't like music.

00:35:30.000 It's got too many notes.

00:35:33.000 Play that song, Ryan.

00:35:38.000 Where is it?

00:35:40.000 I'm in trouble.

00:35:41.000 Something to do.

00:35:42.000 Don't ask why.

00:35:43.000 This album is really good.

00:35:45.000 It's funny because they're a hardcore band at this point.

00:35:46.000 They're just little kids.

00:35:48.000 I think Tommy Stinson was like 13.

00:35:50.000 This is a really good music song.

00:36:03.000 Get those ear pods out.

00:36:04.000 So this is an old song but they're making new music videos for it?

00:36:06.000 No, it's a fan video.

00:36:08.000 This is the official Rhino Records thing though.

00:36:13.000 Oh cool, I guess Rhino Records made a video of it.

00:36:35.000 I think he was 13 when he made this song and now he's like 40.

00:36:39.000 No, he's 55.

00:36:45.000 1981.

00:36:47.000 I was 11.

00:36:49.000 He was 13, so he's older than me.

00:36:52.000 That chick's hot. 1.00

00:36:54.000 Oh dude, you want to talk about hot chicks? 0.99

00:36:59.000 Check this out.

00:37:02.000 I almost cried when I saw this, by the way.

00:37:06.000 I'll send it to you.

00:37:07.000 And the reason I almost cried, it's kind of hard to explain. 0.98

00:37:10.000 I thought the chick was black, but I think she's a half nip. 1.00

00:37:15.000 To see someone who's worked their ass off 1.00

00:37:19.000 And they perform a routine perfectly, not a stupid dance routine. 0.99

00:37:25.000 Something that's really, really hard that I don't think Maddie and I could do if they had a gun to our head for the rest of our lives. 0.98

00:37:33.000 Like we ate right.

00:37:34.000 We practice every day.

00:37:35.000 I don't know how many years we have left, but I don't think we could ever do anything even close to this.

00:37:41.000 I'm not sure I could ever have done it ever if I started when I was 12, but this little Caitlin Ohashi.

00:37:49.000 is perfectly in her element.

00:37:51.000 She's doing something she's practiced eight billion times, and she absolutely masters it perfectly.

00:37:58.000 And she sort of reinvents the wheel a bit, like that hip-hop ballet, which is annoying, right?

00:38:04.000 Yeah.

00:38:04.000 But hip-hop ballet isn't annoying to me if you can do it.

00:38:08.000 I mean, if you can do the main thing.

00:38:10.000 So you could break the rules if you know what the rules are.

00:38:14.000 So she shows you that she knows what the rules are and then she has fun and parties in between her totally amazing things. 0.98

00:38:20.000 Look at this.

00:38:24.000 Make it bigger. 1.00

00:38:30.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:38:42.000 What? 1.00

00:38:43.000 I've watched the Olympics before.

00:38:45.000 I've never seen anything like that.

00:38:54.000 She's invented new moves. 0.95

00:38:57.000 Is it gay to be impressed by this, Maddie? 1.00

00:38:59.000 No. 0.75

00:39:00.000 Am I less of a man?

00:39:01.000 I could never do that, ever.

00:39:03.000 Dude, what percentage of the population can, even if they practice from birth? 0.57

00:39:06.000 Her.

00:39:13.000 I'm gonna learn how to do a standing backflip.

00:39:15.000 Yeah, Ryan can do this.

00:39:17.000 He's better than Jimi Hendrix.

00:39:18.000 No, I couldn't do this, but I'm gonna learn how to do a standing backflip.

00:39:21.000 No, you're not.

00:39:22.000 Yes, I am.

00:39:31.000 The dancing is a tiny bit cringe, I will admit.

00:39:40.000 What?

00:39:41.000 Her legs are like stiff as she does the flips. 1.00

00:39:44.000 Yeah.

00:39:45.000 She landed in a split. 1.00

00:39:47.000 Every time you watch the Olympics and they land something like this, there's a little stutter or something after they land.

00:39:53.000 This is zero stutter.

00:39:54.000 It's like, it's as control as you and I would be if we jumped one foot.

00:39:58.000 Yeah.

00:39:59.000 Standing long jump.

00:40:00.000 Me taking a step.

00:40:02.000 Going up the stairs.

00:40:03.000 Yeah.

00:40:03.000 Getting high fives at the top of the stairs.

00:40:05.000 Yes!

00:40:06.000 You nailed it!

00:40:08.000 Yeah, that was amazing.

00:40:09.000 Could you do that, Sylvia?

00:40:11.000 Of course.

00:40:12.000 Really?

00:40:13.000 It's a breeze.

00:40:14.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:40:17.000 Gavin likes gold. 1.00

00:40:19.000 What a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:40:19.000 In my younger days. 1.00

00:40:22.000 Love gold!

00:40:23.000 We got a couple more.

00:40:24.000 Come on, man.

00:40:25.000 I love gold.

00:40:26.000 If somebody sends one more, they're going to disappear, man.

00:40:28.000 So we got to read these superchats.

00:40:29.000 I don't think about the years as much as I think about fly.

00:40:32.000 As much as a fly does.

00:40:34.000 Come on, man.

00:40:35.000 Roughneck454, Bingus, Seamus, and TinyHatBear have all contributed.

00:40:41.000 OK.

00:40:43.000 By the way, we only guarantee we will read these if it's over 50 bucks.

00:40:49.000 But whatever, we got some time and Ryan forgot that rule. 1.00

00:40:52.000 Is it true that Ryan found out Gavin is gay because Gavin's dick tastes like shit all the time? 1.00

00:40:57.000 Is that true, Ryan? 1.00

00:40:58.000 No, that's disgusting, false, and you should be ashamed of yourself. 0.99

00:41:02.000 I also have wet wipes in my desk drawer. 0.99

00:41:04.000 Did you check your Ouija board?

00:41:06.000 Wet wipes Rivera.

00:41:14.000 Gav, what are your thoughts on aliens in the infinite expanse of the universe?

00:41:17.000 Do you believe we are alone?

00:41:19.000 Yes, I believe in God.

00:41:20.000 We are the chosen ones.

00:41:22.000 We're the Jews.

00:41:23.000 We're the special ones.

00:41:25.000 And the universe revolves around us.

00:41:27.000 You know what it means, the chosen ones?

00:41:29.000 It means the Jews were chosen by God and Moses to keep the Ten Commandments.

00:41:36.000 That's all it means.

00:41:37.000 We were the bodyguards of the Ten Commandments.

00:41:41.000 Okay.

00:41:42.000 I shouldn't have used the chosen ones.

00:41:44.000 I just meant we're special.

00:41:45.000 The universe revolves around us.

00:41:47.000 And this is why atheists are so depressed. 0.99

00:41:48.000 They're like, what's the point of all this?

00:41:50.000 The point of all this is us.

00:41:52.000 We're the plan.

00:41:54.000 Animals are just God's jizz.

00:41:57.000 Plants, they're all pretty and everything.

00:41:58.000 I like a petunia, don't get me wrong.

00:42:00.000 But it's just the, it's the ephemera.

00:42:02.000 It's the waste.

00:42:04.000 Like you go to a wood shop and you see sawdust on the ground.

00:42:07.000 The sawdust is the animals and the plants and everything.

00:42:09.000 That's what was on the floor when they made us.

00:42:12.000 We're here for a reason.

00:42:13.000 We're incredibly special.

00:42:14.000 We're a gift.

00:42:15.000 And we're also almost God-like.

00:42:17.000 I know this sounds blasphemous, but we're almost God-like ourselves.

00:42:21.000 Because they made us, he made us into his image.

00:42:23.000 And we're the only ones there are.

00:42:26.000 Now, if an alien comes down and he's like, hey, you're wrong.

00:42:30.000 I guess I was wrong.

00:42:31.000 It could be a trick from the devil, though.

00:42:33.000 Yeah, I'll be doing tests.

00:42:36.000 Yeah.

00:42:37.000 You can't just walk up to me in a green suit and say, you are wrong.

00:42:42.000 Gavin, who are the other people on your network?

00:42:45.000 We got an alien here, Nancy Pelosi. 0.88

00:42:48.000 What?

00:42:51.000 I repeat myself, we got an alien here, Nancy Pelosi. 0.96

00:42:55.000 That's a good one, yep.

00:43:11.000 Dusty Bogan is like a Canadian, I mean an Australian redneck and he's a hoser.

00:43:16.000 He opens up a whole continent for us.

00:43:18.000 Jim Goad got me into writing.

00:43:22.000 When we started Vice in 1994, we were obsessed with Answer Me and we copied it.

00:43:29.000 I learned my writing style from him.

00:43:31.000 I also learned to be a grammar Nazi from him.

00:43:34.000 If you look at the old Answer Me's, you will not find one mistake, one comma in the wrong place.

00:43:41.000 He's a great copy editor, which sounds boring to most people, but I love the English language.

00:43:47.000 It's not pretty.

00:43:48.000 It's not Latin.

00:43:49.000 It's not French or Italian, but it just, it's a leather man.

00:43:53.000 It just gets the job done. 0.99

00:43:55.000 And to see fucking dollar signs on the right hand side of the number. 1.00

00:44:05.000 ...is abortion. 1.00

00:44:07.000 It breaks my heart.

00:44:08.000 I have a whole thing on my phone.

00:44:10.000 I have like 40 of them.

00:44:11.000 Every time I see one, I take a screen grab and I put it in the... So ridiculous. 0.97

00:44:15.000 ...dollar sign folder. 0.94

00:44:17.000 I've seen it on Sign Signs.

00:44:20.000 $40 off.

00:44:22.000 Now, in Europe, the euro is on the right hand side, so I will forgive the Quebecois. 1.00

00:44:27.000 If you're in Quebec and you put the dollar sign on the wrong side, I will give you a pass.

00:44:32.000 If you have an accent in French,

00:44:34.000 But the rest of the English-speaking world?

00:44:39.000 What are you doing?

00:44:41.000 Craziness.

00:44:43.000 Matty, is that Sil's lipstick on your lips?

00:44:46.000 No.

00:44:48.000 Just a good old-fashioned cold sore.

00:44:51.000 Just a good old-fashioned cold sore.

00:44:55.000 Coming through.

00:44:56.000 Got it from Sylvia.

00:44:58.000 Sylvia, you didn't kiss Matty on the lips to give him that? 0.78

00:45:00.000 No.

00:45:01.000 He's too young.

00:45:03.000 You like your men older.

00:45:06.000 He's so young.

00:45:07.000 So does John Waters.

00:45:08.000 I'd wear him out.

00:45:11.000 Gavin.

00:45:11.000 Yeah, so we answered.

00:45:12.000 So we got all those.

00:45:13.000 All right, let's let's take some calls.

00:45:15.000 Oh, okie dokie.

00:45:16.000 Oh, whoa.

00:45:17.000 And then let's go behind the pay dubs. 1.00

00:45:20.000 Motherfucker pay dubs. 1.00

00:45:22.000 Wow. 1.00

00:45:23.000 The fashions.

00:45:28.000 Just a reminder that Eric Adams said the Wild Wild West when talking about what he meant the Wild West.

00:45:33.000 I was thinking about that the other day.

00:45:35.000 I was like, that is very underrated.

00:45:37.000 That's underratedly hilarious.

00:45:38.000 Remember that, Matty?

00:45:39.000 What's that?

00:45:40.000 Eric Adams, who is, if you want to see Eric Adams with clear eyes, he's a 13 year old who won the lottery.

00:45:47.000 That's how you have to see him.

00:45:48.000 He's Tom Hanks in big.

00:45:50.000 That's who Eric Adams is.

00:45:51.000 That's who our lawyer, our lawyer, our mayor is. 1.00

00:45:55.000 He was a shitty cop. 1.00

00:45:56.000 Everyone hated him when he was a cop. 1.00

00:45:57.000 He was always complaining about racism and suing people and complaining to get moved up.

00:46:02.000 And he was talking about crime in New York and how bad it is.

00:46:07.000 Yes.

00:46:07.000 Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

00:46:09.000 And he said, it's like the Wild Wild West because of the movie. 1.00

00:46:12.000 It's in his fucking 12 year old cranium. 0.99

00:46:15.000 This ain't the Wild Wild West out here. 1.00

00:46:19.000 We will not allow the men and women of the police department to be.

00:46:23.000 We will not allow our city to live in fear that everyone around us is armed and that any altercation could evolve into a shootout.

00:46:36.000 We will not allow the men and women of the police department to be subjected to further danger, making their already difficult jobs even more harrowing.

00:46:48.000 Harrowing?

00:46:49.000 Not harrowing, but horroring.

00:46:52.000 It's like a horror movie.

00:46:56.000 He probably thinks that harrowing comes from horror.

00:47:00.000 Oh, it was Halloween was so scary.

00:47:03.000 It was horror-ing.

00:47:04.000 Horror-ing?

00:47:05.000 Oh, I was giving out candy all night to kids dressed up as monsters.

00:47:08.000 It was the most horror-ing night of my life.

00:47:10.000 Yeah, he's, uh...

00:47:25.000 Cisco.

00:47:26.000 He's quoting Cisco.

00:47:27.000 Not even Will Smith.

00:47:31.000 Not even Will Smith.

00:47:33.000 Will Smith is too cool to say Wild Wild West.

00:47:35.000 We cannot allow New York to unleash the dragon.

00:47:38.000 That's another song by him.

00:47:40.000 We are closing strip clubs in New York City and if there are adult dancing places you will only be able to see a thong thong thong thong thong. 1.00

00:47:52.000 We gotta cover your asses. 0.99

00:47:53.000 We ain't trying to see your thongs or thongs or thongs. 1.00

00:47:57.000 We are instituting a curfew in New York City because we have noticed through our statistical research that the freaks come out at night. 0.98

00:48:07.000 A lot of y'all bitches be scandalous and you know that Eric can't handle this. 1.00

00:48:13.000 I was born and raised in New York City. 0.99

00:48:16.000 I used to read Word Up magazine.

00:48:22.000 She's a child! 0.99

00:48:24.000 Even look at her, like she's in the fuckin' F1 Brotherhood. 0.99

00:48:27.000 What is that public enemy guy? 0.97

00:48:29.000 The soldiers that they'd have?

00:48:31.000 The S1Ws? 1.00

00:48:32.000 Yeah, she's standing there like an S1W. 1.00

00:48:34.000 Calm down there, Mrs. Griff.

00:48:40.000 Now listen, California knows how to party, but New York, New York is a city where dreams is made of.

00:48:47.000 You know?

00:48:48.000 We want to enforce better health codes in New York City.

00:48:52.000 A lot of the restaurants since COVID have been thwarting these laws.

00:48:56.000 The peas are mushy and the chicken tastes like wood.

00:49:00.000 So I want everyone on the right.

00:49:04.000 We have Republicans and we have Democrats in New York City.

00:49:09.000 On the Democrat side, I want to hear you say there's a party over here. 1.00

00:49:12.000 Fuck you over there. 1.00

00:49:14.000 Now, can I clear my throat, ladies and gentlemen? 1.00

00:49:18.000 Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

00:49:23.000 He just needs a beatbox.

00:49:24.000 That S1W should just start going... He's done absolutely nothing. 0.98

00:49:31.000 He is retarded. 1.00

00:49:32.000 And we told... I told you. 1.00

00:49:35.000 I said, he's not a cop.

00:49:37.000 The New York Post fell for the whole cop thing, hook, line and sinker.

00:49:40.000 They're like, finally, law and order.

00:49:42.000 We got a cop.

00:49:43.000 Tough on crime.

00:49:44.000 You don't have a cop. 0.99

00:49:46.000 This is not fucking Kojak. 1.00

00:49:49.000 This is a silly child who sues at the drop of a hat because he's lazy. 1.00

00:49:55.000 And look at him at that gala. 1.00

00:49:58.000 Gala? 1.00

00:49:59.000 Where he had like a Keith Haring wannabe right all over his fucking gay coat. 1.00

00:50:06.000 He's always at parties. 1.00

00:50:08.000 That's why I say the 13-year-old.

00:50:10.000 He's Tom Hanks in big.

00:50:12.000 He spends every night out partying, going to launches.

00:50:17.000 His budget this year is $100 billion.

00:50:21.000 That is every person on earth donating $14 to Eric Adams.

00:50:26.000 Starving babies in Africa. 1.00

00:50:28.000 Some woman in India in that river where there's like a hand floating next to you. 1.00

00:50:33.000 Some Thai rice farmer with a big straw hat has to pull out $14 for Eric Adams. 0.86

00:50:42.000 $100 billion?

00:50:43.000 I was outraged when we sent $40 billion to Ukraine.

00:50:47.000 Who knew that was nothing? 0.99

00:50:51.000 What the fuck is this? 0.99

00:50:52.000 Who is that? 1.00

00:50:55.000 What was that picture?

00:50:56.000 Who does that?

00:50:57.000 You don't get it. 0.68

00:50:57.000 Putin is like Hitler. 0.68

00:50:58.000 We have to stop him.

00:50:59.000 Why is she in a Hennessy glass? 1.00

00:51:13.000 Is that some shit in the hood I do not understand? 1.00

00:51:15.000 Oh my god! 1.00

00:51:16.000 You're right! 1.00

00:51:17.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

00:51:18.000 She's meant to be swizzled? 1.00

00:51:20.000 What do they call it when you swirl around?

00:51:22.000 Swill?

00:51:23.000 Who puts their dead mother in a glass of alcohol? 1.00

00:51:26.000 My mama always wanted to be swilled.

00:51:28.000 My mother died of alcoholism and we support that. 0.92

00:51:32.000 She was the best drunk in the world.

00:51:34.000 She was a fun drunk. 1.00

00:51:35.000 And she was proud of her alcoholism.

00:51:37.000 And we don't see it as a bad thing.

00:51:41.000 We're proud of her.

00:51:42.000 She would drink a bottle of Hennessy every day.

00:51:45.000 Every day New York is going to realize that they deserve the right to stand in the city also.

00:51:49.000 Uh, yes.

00:51:51.000 They deserve the right?

00:51:52.000 They deserve the right. 0.53

00:51:53.000 Can we be not stabbed?

00:51:55.000 Oh my God, do they have Eric Adams masks on? 1.00

00:51:58.000 Holy shit, dude. 1.00

00:52:00.000 That's what Mugabe does. 1.00

00:52:02.000 Mugabe has his own textile.

00:52:06.000 Yeah. 0.78

00:52:07.000 Which I would kill for, by the way. 1.00

00:52:08.000 If there's any Zimbabweans out there, I'll pay top dollar for a fucking Nita fashions. 1.00

00:52:14.000 If you're listening, can you make me a Mugabe suit? 1.00

00:52:18.000 Oh boy.

00:52:19.000 I, I met a woman whose housekeeper is from Zimbabwe and I was like, I need merch.

00:52:24.000 I need merch.

00:52:26.000 What do you got?

00:52:27.000 Can you, she goes back to visit her family.

00:52:29.000 Can you get me Mugabe gear? 0.99

00:52:32.000 And then she didn't give me shit, but a baby monster heard and I got a Zimbabwean. 1.00

00:52:36.000 I believe it's a $3 million bill. 0.99

00:52:39.000 You know, that is.

00:52:40.000 Yeah.

00:52:41.000 It's worth like $4.

00:52:43.000 It's our merch guy.

00:52:45.000 Oh, is that our merch guy that got me that?

00:52:46.000 Yeah.

00:52:46.000 That's it's it's beautiful.

00:52:48.000 Don't get me wrong. 0.99

00:52:50.000 We're going to have a merch set up in Dallas to all y'all motherfuckers. 1.00

00:52:54.000 Mugabe is such a good leader, was such a good leader that the majority of Zimbabweans were millionaires. 0.99

00:53:03.000 I mean, you can't beat that.

00:53:09.000 I don't know what this is.

00:53:18.000 Seems a little boomery, so we're gonna stop that. 1.00

00:53:21.000 We've got calls.

00:53:23.000 We do, we do. 1.00

00:53:23.000 Let's take a call, but first I'm gonna shoot Sylvia and kill her. 1.00

00:53:27.000 Sylvia, you had a good run? 1.00

00:53:31.000 Let's say goodbye.

00:53:32.000 I'm angling this now that I know it doesn't shoot that directly.

00:53:35.000 Ready?

00:53:36.000 Wait, does she have any last words?

00:53:37.000 Do you want to say goodbye to your daughter or anything? 1.00

00:53:41.000 You can't kill a Jew. 0.99

00:53:44.000 Oh yeah, the Romans did. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Lights out, Jew bag! 1.00

00:53:50.000 Close, but no cigars. 0.92

00:53:53.000 It does 20 feet, I would say.

00:53:54.000 So would that do the cap and the gap?

00:53:56.000 Yeah, right?

00:53:56.000 Yeah.

00:53:56.000 Okay.

00:53:59.000 Yeah, but I'm going to have to become a fucking Jesse James Ninja to calculate the arc. 0.98

00:54:04.000 Because it's not much of an arc. 0.96

00:54:05.000 You got a good aim, though.

00:54:07.000 Oh, really?

00:54:08.000 Yeah, you do.

00:54:09.000 Thank you, Sylvia.

00:54:10.000 Thank you. 0.86

00:54:11.000 You try to shoot someone in the head and they're like... That was... You have good aim. 0.99

00:54:15.000 Danny's on the line. 0.97

00:54:17.000 What's up, Danny?

00:54:19.000 Hey, Gavin.

00:54:20.000 How's it going, buddy?

00:54:21.000 Good.

00:54:23.000 Hey, I got a song request for you.

00:54:26.000 Okay.

00:54:27.000 I didn't know we were DJing, but let's do it.

00:54:30.000 I would like you to give your honest opinion on it.

00:54:32.000 This guy named Slopaxo.

00:54:34.000 He's from my hometown.

00:54:35.000 Ryan, pull this up on YouTube.

00:54:37.000 S-L-O-P-A-X-O. 1.00

00:54:41.000 He just released a song two days ago.

00:54:43.000 Slopaxo.

00:54:46.000 Passo?

00:54:47.000 Slopaxo.

00:54:48.000 I don't really know how to pronounce it.

00:54:49.000 You don't know how to pronounce your friend's band?

00:54:51.000 Where are you from?

00:54:52.000 What town is this?

00:54:54.000 Orange County, California.

00:54:55.000 I think he lives out in L.A.

00:54:57.000 now.

00:54:57.000 He's an old childhood buddy, and every time I see what he's up to, I see his songs going off.

00:55:03.000 But I don't want to influence your opinion, so I won't say mine.

00:55:06.000 Okay, I'll give you my honest opinion.

00:55:07.000 Alright, thanks for calling.

00:55:12.000 Yeah! 0.98

00:55:13.000 Sucks, boring, what a waste of time. 1.00

00:55:19.000 Stop! 1.00

00:55:20.000 We already gave the verdict.

00:55:23.000 Verdict is in.

00:55:23.000 What an absolute waste of time that was.

00:55:26.000 What a shit, boring, stupid, garbage... That was a true stinky drinking. 1.00

00:55:30.000 ...third world song. 1.00

00:55:33.000 G-Dog, did you notice that there were butt boys at your Vegas show? 0.87

00:55:37.000 What?

00:55:38.000 There's a guy in a chair with two dudes.

00:55:40.000 You let us slide in there and take a pic with you.

00:55:43.000 Butt boys for life.

00:55:45.000 What do you mean?

00:55:45.000 Someone was butting in line for selfies?

00:55:48.000 Huh.

00:55:50.000 It was a guy in a chair.

00:55:51.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:55:52.000 You should have shot him. 1.00

00:55:54.000 Oh. 1.00

00:55:54.000 Stabbed him. 1.00

00:55:55.000 Oh.

00:55:56.000 The guy in the wheelchair.

00:55:59.000 Yeah.

00:55:59.000 That doesn't count.

00:56:00.000 Yes, it does.

00:56:01.000 Wheelchair people have to wait in line. 1.00

00:56:03.000 I don't know.

00:56:04.000 What?

00:56:05.000 I'm kind of pro wheelchair get to do whatever they want guy. 0.99

00:56:08.000 No fucking way. 1.00

00:56:10.000 First of all, you're sitting in a chair. 0.99

00:56:12.000 I don't know why they get to get in front of us at the airport.

00:56:15.000 I'll show you why.

00:56:17.000 This is a thing that Donovan commented on also.

00:56:20.000 Yeah, that's different.

00:56:22.000 You saw it?

00:56:23.000 Yes.

00:56:25.000 Hi everyone, I'm Jenny.

00:56:26.000 I'm a wheelchair user and I'm paralyzed from the waist down.

00:56:28.000 Okay, one detail she's leaving out. 1.00

00:56:30.000 She was wiping her ass. 1.00

00:56:32.000 I didn't know that. 1.00

00:56:33.000 They did not have toilet paper on that plane, so she wiped her ass down the aisle. 0.99

00:56:37.000 And nobody shoot her off the carpet? 0.99

00:56:38.000 This is how I get onto a plane, usually using an aisle chair.

00:56:43.000 This is what they got me onto the plane with, but unfortunately on my flight they didn't have an aisle chair.

00:56:48.000 You know how bad I'd feel if like Donovan came all the way out to see Limp Bizkit with me and this is what he had to do? 0.99

00:56:53.000 The problem with being a man there that wants to help her, what the fuck do you do? 0.99

00:56:57.000 Drag her, I guess. 1.00

00:56:58.000 Like, you can't just grab her t-shirt and pull her.

00:57:00.000 You gotta get your, you gotta be strong enough to get your hands under her armpits.

00:57:04.000 But now that you put your hands under her armpits, it makes her arms, like, wider, and I don't think they would- We can get through, yeah.

00:57:10.000 I don't think there's anything you could do.

00:57:11.000 Like, outside of putting a rope would be ideal. 0.99

00:57:14.000 You get a rope under her tits, and through her armpits, that, then I could pull her. 1.00

00:57:18.000 And I could handle that. 1.00

00:57:20.000 But I can't help you in the aisle, dear.

00:57:23.000 ...told me that disabled people should just wear nappies on board, which I find bizarre that people think that that is the solution to this scenario.

00:57:30.000 I got a solution.

00:57:31.000 Move your legs.

00:57:34.000 What?

00:57:35.000 Like, why would you just stand up and walk down the aisle?

00:57:39.000 Obviously.

00:57:41.000 Why is she doing that? 1.00

00:57:42.000 I don't know if they can.

00:57:43.000 No, it's laziness.

00:57:47.000 She's so lazy that she won't move her legs. 1.00

00:57:50.000 She wants attention. 0.99

00:57:52.000 Yes, she's doing it for attention. 0.99

00:57:56.000 Sorry, you can't travel, Gims. 1.00

00:58:00.000 Let's take another call and hope it doesn't suck as bad as that. 0.98

00:58:04.000 Absolute stinkeroo. 0.98

00:58:05.000 This one's about music, too.

00:58:06.000 587, you're on the line.

00:58:10.000 By like a hundred Jesus, it's so nice to get through to you, boys.

00:58:15.000 Thank you.

00:58:17.000 How's it going, fellas?

00:58:18.000 So, uh, I was going to talk about music, but that last talk kind of really sucked, so let's not do that.

00:58:23.000 Yeah.

00:58:24.000 Um, my girlfriend is from Zimbabwe and I asked her about that textile.

00:58:29.000 So it's not available.

00:58:31.000 It's not available to the public there.

00:58:33.000 I think he got it made for himself.

00:58:35.000 Okay.

00:58:36.000 That doesn't mean you give up.

00:58:37.000 That means you've got to break into the palace and find it or find someone who worked for him or pay a maid.

00:58:43.000 You've got to find the Indians that made it for him. 1.00

00:58:46.000 Yeah it's probably you know honestly it's probably actually easier just to make it ourselves but because you know you know every time I have a dream like this I talk to a guy who talks to a guy and then someone sets it up and then I pay like 800 bucks and then this guy sends it and you finally get it and it's like Halloween costume garbage polyester and you're like this is not what I imagined although he is such a megalomaniac it's probably high quality fabric

00:59:15.000 Is he wearing the Jurassic Park?

00:59:16.000 Wait, how'd you just change the color there?

00:59:18.000 It's keyed out for the Super Chat.

00:59:20.000 Oh, I see.

00:59:25.000 Sorry, sir.

00:59:26.000 Go ahead.

00:59:26.000 Go ahead, caller.

00:59:27.000 Sorry. 1.00

00:59:29.000 Oh, I said the one I saw, it was like a bright orange pumpkin color with his stupid face all over it. 1.00

00:59:36.000 Exactly like those Eric Adams masks. 0.99

00:59:38.000 Yeah, it would be funny to show up at an important event like an awards ceremony and just have like the Academy Awards and just have a Mugabe suit on and never mention it. 0.88

00:59:49.000 But would it be funnier if it was his face or your face in his image?

00:59:55.000 With the Zimbabwean... Look at that suit! 1.00

00:59:58.000 My kingdom for that suit! 0.98

01:00:01.000 That's the ultimate Chad move, Gavin.

01:00:04.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:00:06.000 Yeah, maybe you're right.

01:00:07.000 That could be funny.

01:00:08.000 It's a different kind of joke though. 1.00

01:00:09.000 What the fuck is on your head? 1.00

01:00:11.000 I guess it's just a beret. 1.00

01:00:14.000 You have to have a beret.

01:00:16.000 Everyone needs a beret.

01:00:18.000 Look at that.

01:00:18.000 And so it's not just, it's not just one or two suits.

01:00:22.000 His entire wardrobe is Robert Mugabe based.

01:00:26.000 I remember I read this great article about his, he had these gold glasses that were 100% like 14 karat gold.

01:00:32.000 And the writer who was African said, it is unclear if he is wearing the glasses or the glasses are wearing him.

01:00:40.000 Did you hear about his secretary?

01:00:58.000 So he has a bunch of kids and he sent them overseas to get educated or whatever, and then he just gave the country to his secretary that he was phoning.

01:01:04.000 Yeah, yeah, because she gave good head. 1.00

01:01:06.000 And that started a revolution, obviously, because the people were not happy about some slut getting the country as a gift. 1.00

01:01:13.000 All right, thanks for talking. 0.95

01:01:18.000 I'm simply out of time.

01:01:22.000 Bye.

01:01:23.000 Oh, that's a Perry reference.

01:01:25.000 I'm simply out of time.

01:01:27.000 I'm De Niro, baby!

01:01:28.000 Okay, I think we should go behind the paywall now.

01:01:31.000 But before we do, guys, we have new sauces coming next week.

01:01:35.000 A new precious metals company coming onto the show this month.

01:01:38.000 Sports betting is coming back this month.

01:01:40.000 And those established titles, guys, are coming back in November.

01:01:43.000 You're actually gonna be able to buy a plot of land next to my plot of land in Scotland.

01:01:48.000 So stay tuned.

01:01:49.000 Thanks.

01:01:49.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:01:53.000 Again, Nita Fashions is on tour.

01:01:55.000 Contact them.

01:01:56.000 I'm out.

01:01:58.000 I didn't really hurt.

01:01:59.000 It just scared me.

01:02:00.000 Oh, my first instinct.

01:02:01.000 Now, what's wrong with my Scottish accent?

01:02:04.000 It puts me in a bad mood for hours. 0.99

01:02:06.000 But what exactly about it suck?

01:02:08.000 I really worked on it after I do a sentence and then I'll do a sentence.

01:02:12.000 OK, well, how about you do it first?

01:02:15.000 No, that's cheating.

01:02:15.000 OK, let's see.

01:02:19.000 So, the real problem that we've got... Like, real?

01:02:22.000 Why do you gotta come in with real? 0.58

01:02:23.000 Why do you gotta suck it up into your face so much? 1.00

01:02:25.000 Well, I think they do a lot of trillin' that arse. 1.00

01:02:27.000 A lot of trillin' that? 0.99

01:02:30.000 They do a lot of trillin' that?

01:02:31.000 Are you from Norway?

01:02:33.000 Are you a Scottish guy that lived in Finland for a long time?

01:02:36.000 They real?

01:02:38.000 When you wear a coat... When you wear a coat?

01:02:40.000 When you're out there on the field, I fight for my meals.

01:02:46.000 It's not to be persistent, or whatever you call it.

01:02:50.000 It's not bad is it?

01:02:52.000 It's got a tinge of like not so... When you wear a kilt, when you're out there, you fight for your meals.

01:02:58.000 You've got this thing where you go down like that.

01:03:03.000 You know who I'm basing it on?

01:03:05.000 This Mulatto guy. 1.00

01:03:07.000 Now, the reason why he talks so anglicized is because if I were to talk- Wait, that's that fucking retard who injects racism into all of British history. 1.00

01:03:18.000 He's been totally eviscerated by that dude with the mustache who goes through all the blackifization of history in general, but also British history. 0.99

01:03:29.000 Bruce Fummey?

01:03:30.000 Yeah, he's a white dude who happens to have a black dad and I'm talking about the guy you just showed and Is there a debate that he does?

01:03:40.000 Oh, maybe that's a different guy, actually. 0.52

01:03:42.000 I mean, he does inject racism. 0.99

01:03:44.000 Don't learn your Scottish impression from a fucking... Like, if you want to learn Scottish, dude, watch Rab Nesbitt. 1.00

01:03:56.000 That's that's Glaswegian. 1.00

01:03:58.000 I think that's a step above a regular Scottish accent.

01:04:02.000 Yeah.

01:04:03.000 So if that's going on, if you want to spar, spar with someone who's a better fighter than you.

01:04:07.000 That's true.

01:04:09.000 Just watch Trainspot.

01:04:09.000 You're fighting a girl.

01:04:14.000 Jet.

01:04:15.000 Was that a fight?

01:04:16.000 I thought it was a coo. 1.00

01:04:17.000 I banged a bitch like that. 1.00

01:04:18.000 Alright. 1.00

01:04:20.000 Is that a coo?

01:04:20.000 I thought it was a cow.

01:04:22.000 A coo?

01:04:23.000 He thought it was a cow.

01:04:24.000 He said it was a coo.

01:04:24.000 They call cows coos.

01:04:25.000 That's a fat ugly girl. 1.00

01:04:27.000 I thought it was a fucking coo. 1.00

01:04:29.000 Let me see. 1.00

01:04:29.000 Yeah, wait a minute. 1.00

01:04:31.000 Jet, what is it?

01:04:32.000 I'm looking for this drum here.

01:04:34.000 You any idea where it is?

01:04:39.000 That's when his son ran away from home and he had to go to London and he asked this British guy, he goes, see you, see my ween?

01:04:46.000 He's going away and all that, I can't find him. 0.94

01:04:48.000 I'm fucking driving all over London trying to find my ween. 0.81

01:04:51.000 And the British guy's like, I'm sorry, I can't understand you. 0.99

01:04:55.000 Then you're English.

01:04:56.000 And he goes, you can't understand me, you watch EastEnders!

01:05:00.000 And he goes, EastEnders, the show, yes, I enjoy it very much.

01:05:04.000 And it's from, it's an Australian soap opera. 0.99

01:05:06.000 He's like, that's fucking from halfway around the world! 0.99

01:05:09.000 I'm from up the road! 1.00

01:05:11.000 And you cannae understand me!

01:05:16.000 Or watch Still Game with subtitles.

01:05:19.000 I feel like I'm on since a year of culture, haven't I?

01:05:23.000 City of culture.

01:05:26.000 Are you George Bush?

01:05:28.000 Hi, George Bush!

01:05:29.000 Ask him if he's Kate Bush, man, ask him! 1.00

01:05:31.000 Shut up, man, shut up! 1.00

01:05:34.000 Are you Kate Bush? 1.00

01:05:35.000 Aye, that's right. 0.94

01:05:37.000 Couple of eejits.

01:05:41.000 No. 1.00

01:05:42.000 You stupid, old coo! 1.00

01:05:44.000 Relax, Martin, you don't need pie and biscuit anymore! 1.00

01:05:48.000 Yeah, you do need subtitles.

01:05:50.000 You don't, you didn't get that?

01:05:51.000 No! 1.00

01:05:51.000 You stupid coo? 1.00

01:05:53.000 That I heard. 1.00

01:05:54.000 Now what she said.

01:05:54.000 Martin, you don't... No.

01:05:57.000 You stupid old cow! 1.00

01:06:05.000 You've got an Empire Biscuit in there. 1.00

01:06:06.000 He's obviously special and he likes Empire Biscuits. 0.98

01:06:13.000 Matty, when you see that, do you think of, like, going there as a kid in the fucking rain? 0.98

01:06:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:18.000 And the drich, and the grey. 0.99

01:06:22.000 Ugh, where would they be without booze? 0.90

01:06:26.000 Wait, now I'm addicted.

01:06:39.000 I heard all that, yeah.

01:06:40.000 What kind of Scottish accent is that?

01:06:42.000 It's classical.

01:06:43.000 Is it?

01:06:43.000 Yeah.

01:06:43.000 Rob Nesbitt is like working class drunk slur.

01:06:45.000 These guys are more buttoned up, but they're from the same street.

01:07:12.000 They must be taking over Naveed's shop.

01:07:15.000 I've never seen this episode.

01:07:19.000 It gives me great pleasure to be here today.

01:07:22.000 See?

01:07:22.000 He does go great.

01:07:23.000 They do roll the R's. 0.98

01:07:24.000 I never said they don't roll their R's. 1.00

01:07:26.000 Oh, okay.

01:07:26.000 I just don't like the oopa loopa ooky dooky thing you do.

01:07:31.000 All right, cheer.

01:07:33.000 It's like, it's not an uppy downy.

01:07:35.000 It's like a constant exhale.

01:07:37.000 Like, see yous people, hanging's too good for yous. 1.00

01:07:39.000 I'm not going to tolerate this, by the way there, big man. 0.97

01:07:41.000 I've been doing this for too long, to be waiting around, listening to you go up and doing and up and doing up the fucking Glen Carey, Glen Ross and all that, by the way there, big man. 0.97

01:07:50.000 It's absolutely unacceptable. 0.98

01:07:52.000 It's... There's no ooky booky.

01:07:57.000 All right.

01:07:59.000 It's a car pulling into a driveway.

01:08:01.000 See yous people, it's going to be no more than that.

01:08:03.000 I'll tell you that right now and it's not going to change in a million years by the way there, big man.

01:08:07.000 Now I don't know what content to, let's see.

01:08:15.000 Mugabe suit!

01:08:15.000 I used to work for a motocross manufacturer where we would use a process called dye sublimation and heat transfer to create jerseys.

01:08:25.000 Not the kind your spinster aunt uses for her etsy store.

01:08:28.000 We're talking pro mx jerseys.

01:08:32.000 There were many different types of fabric we used.

01:08:34.000 Pretty sure there's a basic that would sublimate well and still feel like a good suit.

01:08:41.000 If you can't get the actual Mugabe fabric, I think this may be the

01:08:44.000 The Root.

01:08:44.000 Okay, what about this?

01:08:46.000 What if I talk to Anita Fashions and I say, how much roll do you need for a suit? 0.98

01:08:53.000 I don't know, say it's like five yards by a yard, right?

01:08:58.000 Five by one yards.

01:09:01.000 So I ship that to these guys

01:09:05.000 And I get my Mugabe suit.

01:09:07.000 Oh.

01:09:08.000 I could do it on Photoshop, maybe.

01:09:10.000 So they, yeah, we get the print.

01:09:12.000 That's easy enough.

01:09:13.000 We can just look at it and recreate it.

01:09:16.000 And that wrinkle you just saw was because it's a finished t-shirt.

01:09:20.000 I'm going to be sending them just five yards of fabric.

01:09:23.000 There's going to be no wrinkles to worry about. 0.99

01:09:25.000 And then I send it back to Nita Fashions, and they make my fucking Mugabe suit. 0.98

01:09:31.000 And then I start going to important functions. 0.98

01:09:34.000 It was a Mugabe suit.

01:09:35.000 In a Mugabe suit?

01:09:37.000 Funerals?

01:09:37.000 Yeah, you're just booking funerals to go to?

01:09:39.000 Yeah.

01:09:40.000 Important talks?

01:09:41.000 Oh my god, I'm doing a talk at Penn State in October.

01:09:44.000 That would be so good to get out there.

01:09:47.000 Hello!

01:09:47.000 In the beginning... It turns into that frog.

01:09:59.000 Uh, let's get behind the paywall.

01:10:02.000 You've had enough fun, we're gonna go take some calls, get to know our people.

01:10:05.000 My favorite thing about Thursday nights is we get to know the Baby Monsters.

01:10:08.000 We get to know the people who pay ten bucks a month to watch all of our shows, which are

01:10:13.000 I'd say like five hours a day of total content. 0.99

01:10:15.000 A lot of shit, more than you should be watching. 0.99

01:10:17.000 If you're watching everything on censored.tv, you gotta get a life. 1.00

01:10:21.000 When we started it, I felt bad saying, new shit every day, because it wasn't true. 0.97

01:10:25.000 So I didn't say it. 0.98

01:10:26.000 But now it's, oh yeah, there's more than you can watch, more than you can handle.

01:10:31.000 And I do six days a week.

01:10:36.000 Sometimes the show's an hour, if Ryan's away and we're in a rush.

01:10:40.000 Sometimes, like tomorrow, it's four hours.

01:10:42.000 And that's how you hear about fun events, like our show in Dallas this weekend, Friday and Saturday.

01:10:48.000 Our show in Chicago coming up, starring Crip Daddy!

01:10:51.000 Woo! 1.00

01:10:52.000 Crip Daddy can't get on planes with that stupid wheelchair. 1.00

01:10:56.000 So one of the only opportunities he has to do his stand-up, which is ironic, is when the promoters are in Chicago. 1.00

01:11:06.000 So he's going to be there in his little chair doing his little like, hey, I got a joke.

01:11:12.000 It's so funny that he looks like the scariest guy in Better Call Saul.

01:11:15.000 And he's the least scary guy in Better Call Earth.

01:11:20.000 But, um, yeah, he'll be there.

01:11:22.000 And then we have a New York thing.

01:11:23.000 We'll have to announce that like eight seconds before, because New York is a big Antifa town.

01:11:30.000 Although maybe we should just tell them and rough them up like we do.

01:11:34.000 I will clap some cheeks.

01:11:36.000 When we did at NYU, we beat up like dozens of Antifa when I did my NYU talk.

01:11:43.000 Until some of the guys felt bad.

01:11:46.000 Remember Friar Tuck?

01:11:47.000 Yeah.

01:11:48.000 He was like, I got to stop. 0.99

01:11:50.000 He's a monster.

01:11:51.000 He was, he played football in college. 0.88

01:11:53.000 He's like 30 feet tall.

01:11:55.000 He's a giant.

01:11:57.000 And he goes, after a while, it wasn't fun.

01:11:59.000 It was kind of sad.

01:12:00.000 Anyway.

01:12:01.000 Yeah.

01:12:03.000 So, uh, see you in Dallas tonight.

01:12:06.000 And, uh,

01:12:08.000 For those of you who are willing to forego the cost of a beer and a half a month, we will stick around.

01:12:15.000 And for you freeloaders, sorry, party's over.

01:12:19.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting!

01:12:26.000 Violent protests over a speaker on campus here. 1.00

01:12:29.000 Fuck you, Normie. 1.00

01:12:31.000 He is apparently a Canadian writer, actor, comedian. 1.00

01:12:33.000 He's the co-founder of Vice. 1.00

01:12:34.000 Go fuck another vagina, you gross pigs. 1.00

01:12:40.000 Serious XF pulling the plug on Anthony Cumia this week. 1.00

01:12:43.000 You got big fucking tits! 1.00

01:12:49.000 I watched that and I said, this chick's too retarded to fuck. 1.00

01:12:52.000 You shouldn't do it. 1.00

01:12:53.000 They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around. 0.98

01:12:57.000 This is the part of Seth that's going to get real mean before I leave. 1.00

01:13:04.000 No more... Filthy... You... They think we want to tell those kind of jokes. 0.98

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 23, 2022

GOML LIVE #166 - TAKIN A RIDE (Part 1)

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript