Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #169

00:00:03.000 Tonight, it's gonna be a big one.

00:00:07.000 Gabby's got his best show on, so we head down to Mae's for free drinks.

00:00:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!

00:00:20.000 Mainly because Mave's girlfriend's dumped in.

00:00:23.000 Mickey's been diagnosed with irritable sweat syndrome, so we just need a bit of a release, yeah.

00:00:30.000 You know?

00:00:30.000 Let's start off some spoons, let's have it.

00:00:33.000 Chicken, chicken, it's over, all fine and I. I threw me up with some parts of longer and I'll be alright.

00:00:40.000 I'm gonna come on up, angels alive.

00:00:44.000 I'll lock me up with wine and said burger, everything's alright.

00:00:48.000 Yeah, we'll be alright.

00:00:49.000 *music*

00:00:57.000 Things start getting a little bit juicy.

00:00:59.000 The Gaga bomb starts to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:04.000 This is Get Off My Lawn Live Thursday nights.

00:01:06.000 We got Matty O'Dell in the house.

00:01:11.000 Wait, your mic's on.

00:01:13.000 This mic's not on?

00:01:15.000 The plugged in?

00:01:16.000 Yeah.

00:01:17.000 We should probably test that before we go live.

00:01:19.000 Straight for Glasgow, Matty O'Dell.

00:01:25.000 Hey, that you?

00:01:27.000 It wasn't a plugged in.

00:01:28.000 So you're back for the hospital, by the way, there, big man.

00:01:31.000 Aye.

00:01:32.000 And you had a steel umbrella put up your crotch through your juggler vein into your heart after burning holes through various ventricles.

00:01:43.000 And the new, you got a wee steel mesh like a colander.

00:01:47.000 Aye, son.

00:01:48.000 In a wee corner.

00:01:51.000 Do we all have that same corner?

00:01:53.000 Yeah.

00:01:53.000 But yours was problematic.

00:01:55.000 The left atrial appendage.

00:01:58.000 So why don't they like your left atrial appendage?

00:02:00.000 Because my heart sometimes doesn't function properly like a normal heart.

00:02:05.000 So blood will stay there.

00:02:07.000 It'll get stuck in there.

00:02:09.000 And then it'll start to coagulate and form blood clots.

00:02:13.000 And is that why Rastafarians are so offended by your heart?

00:02:17.000 Because it's got the blood clot.

00:02:20.000 I got the clot, you know.

00:02:21.000 I got Matty's heart closing in on me with all them blood clot.

00:02:25.000 Quit your crying.

00:02:27.000 This episode is brought to you by betdsi.com.

00:02:29.000 The NFL is back, and BetDSI is where I bet and make extra money right now.

00:02:33.000 By the way, I'm getting all this shit about my Mets bet.

00:02:36.000 People are like, ah, well, the Mets fucked you over.

00:02:38.000 Why?

00:02:38.000 Because we didn't win the World Series.

00:02:41.000 I didn't fuck Eva Mendez, but I fucked a lot of chicks, and I'm pretty happy with it.

00:02:45.000 I won $809.

00:02:48.000 I was wrong when I said 268.

00:02:50.000 809.

00:02:52.000 Lost 700 with two Cubs games.

00:02:54.000 That was the most painful part.

00:02:56.000 But I did really well.

00:02:57.000 I'm very happy with it.

00:02:59.000 Right now, my listeners get 100% bonus match up to $1,000.

00:03:03.000 That's W your Money with promo code Gavin100.

00:03:07.000 Not just Gavin.

00:03:08.000 Gavin100.

00:03:09.000 Oh, that's not my hair.

00:03:10.000 That's the logo.

00:03:12.000 Bet on 2020 updates, an election with me.

00:03:14.000 Bet on the MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL, UFC, and all the other major sports and politics.

00:03:19.000 Go to betdsi.com and win extra money.

00:03:23.000 Promo code Gavin2020.

00:03:25.000 Play, win, and get paid.

00:03:27.000 If you want to win big money, go to betdsi.com, promo code Gavin100.

00:03:31.000 First two listeners to email confirmation that they signed up and deposited at betdsi.com with promo code Gavin100.

00:03:38.000 Get a $50 wait a minute.

00:03:43.000 Bubba and Hank's gift card?

00:03:46.000 Dude.

00:03:48.000 I'm getting mad.

00:03:48.000 This is what I'm seeing.

00:03:51.000 I'm getting mad.

00:03:53.000 I'm calling him.

00:03:56.000 What?

00:03:57.000 They don't exist.

00:03:58.000 And they went like 10 months without paying me.

00:04:01.000 That doesn't mean you can't still get a gift card.

00:04:04.000 What's his name again?

00:04:05.000 What is it?

00:04:06.000 It starts with a V. Yeah, but he might be on my phone.

00:04:11.000 Yeah, here we go.

00:04:15.000 Wait, do you want to?

00:04:16.000 Okay.

00:04:18.000 Bubba and Hanks?

00:04:19.000 Like this guy.

00:04:22.000 Hey, Mr. McKinnis, how you doing, buddy?

00:04:24.000 You're on the air.

00:04:25.000 Hey, man, what's going on with this Bet DSI?

00:04:28.000 They get a Bubba and Hanks gift card.

00:04:33.000 I've got the Reads, Live Reads, 10-13-2022.

00:04:38.000 Bet DSI live read ends with, use promo code GAM100 and get a $50 Bubba and Hanks card.

00:04:47.000 Let me open up the document.

00:04:51.000 We're looking at it.

00:04:51.000 That's not the case.

00:04:53.000 Yeah, dude, this is a pattern with you.

00:04:55.000 Like, Gavin loves gold.

00:04:57.000 You got that URL wrong.

00:04:58.000 We had that twice.

00:05:00.000 Remember that?

00:05:01.000 Gavin likes gold?

00:05:06.000 Yeah, turn off the show.

00:05:09.000 Turn off the show.

00:05:10.000 I get to hear my drops.

00:05:12.000 Okay.

00:05:13.000 Okay, what's going on?

00:05:15.000 Bubba and Hanks?

00:05:16.000 Didn't they bilk us out of like five grand?

00:05:21.000 Actually, yeah.

00:05:23.000 He died in January and then Hank totally fucked us.

00:05:27.000 But I. Hold on one sec, dude.

00:05:33.000 Oh, offense, but it sounds like some fucking commie fingers typed that.

00:05:39.000 These are billionaires, right here.

00:05:42.000 Hold on one sec, dude.

00:05:43.000 I got so many documents open.

00:05:44.000 I'm not trying to fuck with you.

00:05:46.000 Well, maybe he's gay.

00:05:47.000 You ever thought about it?

00:05:48.000 I got so many documents open.

00:05:49.000 How hard is it to see the last?

00:05:52.000 The subject was sent at 6.54 p.m. today.

00:05:58.000 Live reads.

00:05:59.000 The subject is live reads 10.13, 2022.

00:06:02.000 How could that be hard to find?

00:06:05.000 I have it open.

00:06:07.000 All on one moment.

00:06:08.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:06:11.000 Everything wrong with that.

00:06:13.000 See what I'm saying?

00:06:15.000 Okay, let me go to items.

00:06:20.000 See what I'm dealing with with this guy, by the way?

00:06:22.000 He's on mute.

00:06:23.000 I'm on mute.

00:06:24.000 Fucking quiz!

00:06:27.000 Like, it's.

00:06:28.000 This is.

00:06:29.000 Women want to Be in the workforce, all you have to do is say who generated the message.

00:06:34.000 This is the workforce, ladies.

00:06:35.000 It did not flub at all.

00:06:36.000 This is what you want to be on.

00:06:38.000 There was no fucking flub.

00:06:39.000 I don't know how to reply.

00:06:41.000 You're not doing a motherfucking call.

00:06:43.000 I've ever met in my entire life, and you're not someone I want to piss off.

00:06:47.000 How did you type it?

00:06:48.000 It's quiet.

00:06:49.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet.

00:06:50.000 That's the thing.

00:06:51.000 They're not even a company, dude.

00:06:53.000 Like, they're going.

00:06:54.000 Who wrote this?

00:06:55.000 Who wrote this read?

00:06:57.000 I write all the reads.

00:06:58.000 Okay.

00:06:59.000 Come on, man.

00:07:00.000 How did you write get a $50 Bubba and Hank's gift card?

00:07:07.000 I will bet you.

00:07:09.000 Yeah.

00:07:11.000 I don't know.

00:07:12.000 Shut up, Janet.

00:07:13.000 I didn't write that.

00:07:14.000 It's a document that I sent via Microsoft Outlook.

00:07:22.000 There's nobody haven't done any Bubba and Hanks since Bubs died in January, dude.

00:07:27.000 So did you write this episode is brought to you by betdsi.com?

00:07:32.000 Yes, absolutely.

00:07:33.000 So you wrote the whole paragraph, but somehow Microsoft Outlook added get a $50 Bubba and Hanks gift card.

00:07:42.000 Well, it's not like Microsoft is magic or anything like that, but no, I absolutely did not copy and paste that, nor have I looked at a Bubba.

00:07:50.000 Fuck, dude, I haven't looked at a Bubba and Hanks anything in the last You know what?

00:07:56.000 I think you work for like Antifa or something, and you were sent to give me an aneurysm.

00:08:06.000 Well, thank you.

00:08:07.000 I appreciate it, but no, I am certainly not.

00:08:10.000 Dude, what's your defense here?

00:08:12.000 That you wrote all of it, but a sentence jumped in magically?

00:08:17.000 Dude, I did not fucking write that.

00:08:20.000 Okay, what is in your sent messages?

00:08:23.000 Is it the Bet DSI live read?

00:08:26.000 It's DSI, GoldCo, and I'm not telling one.

00:08:32.000 Let's focus on this Bet DSI.

00:08:34.000 Rock and roll, Vider.

00:08:36.000 What?

00:08:37.000 I'm preparing myself to film this.

00:08:40.000 Rock and roll.

00:08:43.000 Who Jako?

00:08:46.000 He's so moved.

00:08:47.000 So this episode is brought to you by betdsi.com.

00:08:50.000 The NFL is back.

00:08:51.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:08:53.000 Betdsi.com, promo code Gavin100, right?

00:08:55.000 First two listeners to email confirmation that they signed up and deposited at betdsi.com with promo code gavin100.

00:09:03.000 Get a, and then did you write something else?

00:09:07.000 Oh, Joy.

00:09:08.000 I can read the live read to you.

00:09:10.000 I'm more than happy to.

00:09:11.000 Can I read the last sentence of the live read of Bet DSI?

00:09:15.000 I just read it.

00:09:16.000 I was in front of my computer.

00:09:17.000 I saw that.

00:09:18.000 Can I posit a theory?

00:09:19.000 I'll get the Detective Shitty bumper ready and everything, but I think this is an old sponsor of ours.

00:09:25.000 Ours, they just came back.

00:09:26.000 So you probably copy and pasted the last time they popped up because everything stays the same.

00:09:30.000 The promo code is the same.

00:09:31.000 And what happened?

00:09:32.000 Accidentally, did you copy it?

00:09:34.000 Possibly.

00:09:35.000 I sent you two emails with the live reads, man.

00:09:38.000 Like, I'm not trying to fuck with you, Gavin.

00:09:41.000 Shut up, shut up, shut up.

00:09:42.000 So you copy and pasted from an old version is what happened.

00:09:47.000 No, no, no, no.

00:09:48.000 I copied and pasted the live read.

00:09:50.000 I didn't say anything about fucking Bubba and Hanks to it.

00:09:53.000 Dude, you copy and pasted the live read from a time when we were working with Bubba and Hanks.

00:09:58.000 Yeah, it's a mistake.

00:09:59.000 It's fine.

00:10:02.000 All right.

00:10:03.000 Well, I'm fucking retarded.

00:10:05.000 Yeah, that's clear.

00:10:06.000 But now I want you to understand why you're retarded.

00:10:09.000 So, do you understand what happened at least?

00:10:13.000 Yes, I certainly do.

00:10:16.000 Shot fired suspects down.

00:10:19.000 But I have no idea how Bubba and Hanks wound up in there.

00:10:23.000 Because you copy and pasted from an old live read with Bet Dia Sai when we were working with Bubba and Hanks.

00:10:33.000 How do you not get that?

00:10:36.000 Everybody knows you never go full return.

00:10:38.000 I proofread everything.

00:10:40.000 So you proofread it, and what happened?

00:10:47.000 Hold on, I'm coming.

00:10:48.000 I didn't mean, nor did I put anything about Bob and Hanks in there.

00:10:54.000 I don't know how you feed yourself and go to the bathroom.

00:10:58.000 Do you have a woman roll you over and wash your body so you don't get bed sores?

00:11:03.000 Do you know who Terry Shivo is?

00:11:07.000 That is your ideal mate.

00:11:10.000 Well, it is a very unfortunate situation.

00:11:13.000 There's certain people where they're going to stay dumb forever because they just didn't want to own it.

00:11:20.000 They don't, like, information doesn't go in.

00:11:22.000 He's a great job.

00:11:23.000 Ryan is guilty of this too.

00:11:25.000 I'll be like, dude, you forgot the thing.

00:11:26.000 And he's like, no, I didn't.

00:11:27.000 It's really like, well, it's there on your desk.

00:11:30.000 Well, I don't know.

00:11:31.000 I don't know how that happened.

00:11:32.000 You forgot it.

00:11:34.000 No, I brought it, actually.

00:11:36.000 Oh, so it jumped out of your car and got back to your desk?

00:11:38.000 I don't know.

00:11:39.000 Think about what you'd think about.

00:11:42.000 I don't know, man.

00:11:42.000 I didn't type up and hanks.

00:11:44.000 Yeah, we know you didn't type it.

00:11:46.000 You cut and pasted it.

00:11:47.000 Well, I proofread it.

00:11:49.000 So it wasn't there?

00:11:50.000 It wasn't there when you proofread it?

00:11:53.000 Maybe Outlook does a thing to it.

00:11:55.000 He's got a brain, and this brain is not uncommon, where you can just go, I don't know, I'm out of here.

00:12:04.000 Bye.

00:12:04.000 What do you want me to do?

00:12:05.000 Is this live footage of his brain?

00:12:06.000 I'm in his brain.

00:12:07.000 Live footage of his brain.

00:12:08.000 Bye-bye.

00:12:10.000 Bye, everybody.

00:12:12.000 It's like this.

00:12:13.000 I ordered this Italian food once when we lived in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and it didn't come.

00:12:17.000 And I called the guy and I was like, dude, we've been sitting here for an hour.

00:12:20.000 What's going on?

00:12:21.000 And he goes, hold on, let me check.

00:12:23.000 This is the owner of the restaurant.

00:12:25.000 And then he goes, yep, your order's not here.

00:12:28.000 And I go, wait a minute.

00:12:30.000 So it never came up?

00:12:31.000 And he goes, dude, it's not here.

00:12:33.000 And I go, okay, so are you saying that I never ordered my food?

00:12:38.000 And he's like, well.

00:12:41.000 And I go, so I'm lying.

00:12:43.000 I just called you up and I was like, hey, I ordered some food an hour ago.

00:12:48.000 Yeah, that was supposed to be.

00:12:50.000 Are you calling me a liar?

00:12:51.000 And he goes, look, buddy, either you're a liar or I'm a liar.

00:12:53.000 And I know I'm not a liar.

00:12:55.000 It doesn't say that.

00:12:56.000 You're a liar.

00:13:00.000 So I hang up and I'm just like, what?

00:13:04.000 And then I go, wait a minute.

00:13:05.000 I know all the specials.

00:13:06.000 So I call him back and I'm like, the specials tonight are Fettuccine Alfredo.

00:13:10.000 And you have some beef Noki.

00:13:14.000 and I named all the specials and I go, how do I know the specials if I hadn't called earlier?

00:13:20.000 And then he pauses and he goes, oh, okay.

00:13:23.000 And then he sends a bottle of wine and our fucking order three hours later.

00:13:29.000 And I'm sorry.

00:13:31.000 To sit there and go, look, I don't know what to tell you, dude.

00:13:34.000 I didn't write Bubbin Hanks.

00:13:36.000 So I don't know what you get as far as gift cards go, but I promise you, it has nothing to do with a dead steak company that fucked us over for five grand.

00:13:46.000 Okay?

00:13:46.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:13:50.000 You notice in the Christopher Columbus Day thing, I think it was last year when the Antifa showed up to take down the statue, or at least, I don't know, throw shit on it.

00:13:58.000 All the Italians were there from Philly, South Philly, and they were all like, they kept saying that to the Antifa guys.

00:14:04.000 They're like, aren't you embarrassed?

00:14:06.000 Really?

00:14:06.000 I don't know if they got it from Maniscalco or it was just the local vernacular.

00:14:11.000 It's a good question because the guy was on a bicycle.

00:14:15.000 Oh, that reminds me of my talk.

00:14:17.000 Yeah, Pesobic was tweeting it out.

00:14:20.000 So the panic about me going to Penn State, the real panic is I deperson.

00:14:25.000 Yeah, that's the guy.

00:14:26.000 Nice timing, Ryan.

00:14:27.000 Thanks.

00:14:30.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:14:31.000 Oh, shit.

00:14:33.000 I'm giving you my business card, sir, if there's a problem.

00:14:35.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:14:35.000 Are you embarrassed?

00:14:41.000 You're embarrassed.

00:14:42.000 You're an embarrassment.

00:14:43.000 You're an embarrassment.

00:14:44.000 So what do you think about how Christopher Columbus is?

00:14:46.000 What do you think about how Christopher Columbus cards are?

00:14:49.000 They were fucking savages back then.

00:14:52.000 This guy just hit me in the card.

00:14:53.000 They weren't savages.

00:14:55.000 Sir, can I have my bike back?

00:14:57.000 Sir, let me have my bike back.

00:14:59.000 What kind of world are we in where you go up to some old fucking Italians with your bicycle and they have bats and you're like, sir, I can give him my business card?

00:15:07.000 How do we end up here?

00:15:08.000 Yeah, there's a compute.

00:15:10.000 Like, if a fucking gang of bikers are wrong and they're worshiping, I don't know, Hitler, there we go.

00:15:18.000 Hello?

00:15:20.000 The idea of like, yes, how do you feel about the fact that Hitler murdered six million Jews?

00:15:25.000 Is that funny to you?

00:15:28.000 No.

00:15:29.000 Don't fucking know.

00:15:31.000 You're not going to win that battle.

00:15:33.000 What do you think they're going to do?

00:15:34.000 Go, touche.

00:15:36.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 Well, you got a point.

00:15:37.000 You know what?

00:15:39.000 Take it down.

00:15:41.000 Take down that statue.

00:15:43.000 That guy in the bicycle with a business guard just nailed us.

00:15:46.000 It's people who have been.

00:15:47.000 Turn around and walk away.

00:15:49.000 People who have not been punched.

00:15:50.000 It's fucking pathetic.

00:15:51.000 Speaking of people.

00:15:54.000 Find something better else to do with their fucking time.

00:15:57.000 Worry about a guy that came around and punched in the face would be the best thing for your life.

00:16:01.000 Yeah.

00:16:02.000 Most guys have never been punched in the face, but.

00:16:05.000 Speaking of punch in the face, I'm doing this talk at Penn State.

00:16:07.000 Everyone's freaking out.

00:16:08.000 The lefties are freaking out.

00:16:09.000 They're not freaking out about the other comedy tour.

00:16:11.000 I don't quite know why.

00:16:12.000 I think it's because Penn State is a university, and the fact that I'm talking there is legitimizing my existence, and that's their biggest nightmare.

00:16:18.000 I think mostly because they'd like to be invited to Penn State.

00:16:21.000 And then the staff is freaking out because they know my speech is going to be about how incompetent they are and how you see them as professors because they have a briefcase and they're smart.

00:16:30.000 But I'm their age, and I remember these guys from high school.

00:16:33.000 And they were the guys that were picked on.

00:16:34.000 And this is all revenge.

00:16:36.000 You're living in a revenge cult where they get to be the boss.

00:16:40.000 And these people are morons.

00:16:42.000 And that scares them because I'm threatening their trade.

00:16:45.000 But one of the big takeaways is when Gavin did a talk at the Metropolitan Club, there was violence.

00:16:51.000 Well, yeah, there was violence because Antifa kept jumping people.

00:16:56.000 And they go, two men went to jail.

00:16:58.000 Yeah, because we live in a clown world.

00:17:00.000 The guys who went to jail beat up dudes who jumped them.

00:17:04.000 And they go, they attacked protesters.

00:17:06.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:17:08.000 If protesters jump you and then you win the fight, are you attacking protesters?

00:17:13.000 I don't know.

00:17:15.000 Someone, I attacked this person.

00:17:18.000 I shot him.

00:17:18.000 What were they doing?

00:17:19.000 Oh, it was a home invasion.

00:17:20.000 They came into my house, so I blew them away with a shotgun.

00:17:23.000 Oh, okay.

00:17:24.000 No one says you attacked a home invader.

00:17:27.000 And that's what these people were.

00:17:28.000 They were talk invaders.

00:17:30.000 So yeah, there was violence.

00:17:31.000 It was towards us.

00:17:32.000 We had a mob attack us at NYU.

00:17:35.000 They pepper sprayed me.

00:17:37.000 They jumped.

00:17:38.000 About fucking, I'm going to say 50 people jumped the 10 guys I was with.

00:17:43.000 The 10 guys won.

00:17:45.000 Ryan went to jail.

00:17:46.000 Yep, I won separately.

00:17:49.000 10 Antifa went to jail.

00:17:50.000 Two Proud Boys went to jail.

00:17:52.000 The rest just weren't charged, got away with it.

00:17:56.000 And it was 10 against 50.

00:17:58.000 Is that violence?

00:18:00.000 Is that me bringing my violent thugs to attack protesters?

00:18:04.000 The protesters aren't sitting there going, hey, we disagree.

00:18:08.000 They're like fucking Nazi, throwing bottles of piss.

00:18:12.000 Minor detail you left out.

00:18:14.000 And John and Max got fucking four years for a 17-second fight for winning a 17-second fight that they did not start.

00:18:22.000 Is that relevant?

00:18:23.000 What's that?

00:18:24.000 Say that again?

00:18:26.000 Is it a comedy show or a speaking engagement?

00:18:30.000 It's both.

00:18:30.000 Both.

00:18:31.000 It'll be comical.

00:18:32.000 Yeah, listen to the on the radio.

00:18:36.000 Oh, yeah, we got that on the site there.

00:18:37.000 Your radio spot.

00:18:38.000 It's cool hearing you on the radio.

00:18:40.000 That's fucking cool.

00:18:41.000 Does that get broadcast on stations in Jim?

00:18:44.000 I think they're syndicated in a few stations, but I think they're all Pennsylvania.

00:18:47.000 I don't know.

00:18:47.000 That's awesome.

00:18:50.000 In today's crazy world, quality sleep and much-needed relaxation can be hard to come by.

00:18:54.000 Enter Shell Shock CBD, the nation's fastest-growing veteran-owned CBD and Delta 8 supplement company.

00:18:58.000 Shellshock offers a variety of non-THC products as well as products that contain THC.

00:19:03.000 Try a THC-free rackout CBD gummy infused with melatonin for superior sleep.

00:19:10.000 I'm against melatonin for kids, by the way.

00:19:12.000 I don't like these Aussie sleep things for kids.

00:19:14.000 It's not healthy.

00:19:16.000 But for adults, it's fucking awesome.

00:19:18.000 Oh, the Ollie vitamins, the chew?

00:19:19.000 Yeah, I don't like those Ollies.

00:19:21.000 That's not cool.

00:19:22.000 And there have been studies that they're bad for kids.

00:19:24.000 But, you know, we're adults.

00:19:25.000 We get stressed out.

00:19:26.000 We have to deal with people who promote dead state companies that owe us five grand.

00:19:31.000 I advertise dead people.

00:19:33.000 What?

00:19:34.000 I advertise dead people.

00:19:36.000 It's a six cents.

00:19:37.000 No, God bless them.

00:19:38.000 But bad business.

00:19:40.000 No, not God bless, you moron.

00:19:42.000 Well, yes, you're such a woman sometimes.

00:19:44.000 Life and death.

00:19:44.000 I mean, you got to God bless that.

00:19:46.000 Oh, you're God blessing the dead guy?

00:19:47.000 Yes.

00:19:47.000 Oh, okay.

00:19:48.000 I thought you were God blessing the moron who fucked up this first reason.

00:19:51.000 No, no, God not bless that guy.

00:19:54.000 But yeah, we're stressed out.

00:19:55.000 We're adults.

00:19:56.000 We got a lot on our plate.

00:19:57.000 Our buddy Maddie just had a steel umbrella stuck in his fucking heart.

00:20:01.000 We worry about our friends.

00:20:02.000 You wake up at four with the horrors, with the terrors.

00:20:08.000 The horrors.

00:20:08.000 And when you take these, it's just fucking going to the movies all night long.

00:20:18.000 Or a Delta 8 THC Halo Gummy, now available in cotton candy flavor, to experience a euphoric high and premium relaxation.

00:20:25.000 They also offer sample packs of all of their gummies.

00:20:28.000 That's a good idea to start with.

00:20:30.000 See which one you like best.

00:20:33.000 They're good, too.

00:20:34.000 Yeah, I know.

00:20:34.000 I was just about to say, they should make them less good.

00:20:37.000 Oh, you've tried them.

00:20:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:20:38.000 I have them right here.

00:20:40.000 I have the rackouts on my nightstand.

00:20:42.000 Oh, really?

00:20:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:20:44.000 Interesting.

00:20:45.000 You can't just eat one.

00:20:46.000 So, like, you'll be easy to overdose.

00:20:50.000 I did the mistake of taking two of the Delta 8s the first time.

00:20:56.000 Woo!

00:20:57.000 Not a good.

00:20:58.000 No bueno.

00:20:59.000 When I got up to take a piss in the middle of the night, I was holding on to the wall.

00:21:05.000 I woke up in the morning, I was still like, all right.

00:21:08.000 Don't take two at once.

00:21:10.000 No.

00:21:10.000 Nibble.

00:21:11.000 You know what I do with these things?

00:21:13.000 I don't ever take a full gummy.

00:21:15.000 I bite, I micro-dose.

00:21:16.000 I take a little tiny bite.

00:21:18.000 Then if it's not working, I might take another bite, but that would be like two hours later.

00:21:21.000 You'll meet guys that you know in high school, it was shrooms or acid or something, and they're like, didn't work on me.

00:21:27.000 Didn't work.

00:21:27.000 And you're like, it's got to process through your liver when you eat it.

00:21:31.000 Yeah.

00:21:32.000 And then you see the guy like an hour later, and he's like, dude, we're going to die.

00:21:38.000 And you're like, what's going on?

00:21:39.000 Did you have more?

00:21:40.000 He goes, yeah, I had three.

00:21:42.000 What?

00:21:44.000 I told you to wait.

00:21:45.000 It wasn't working on me.

00:21:47.000 Well, it sure is now.

00:21:49.000 You fixed your problem.

00:21:50.000 Bye-bye.

00:21:51.000 Home to mommy.

00:21:52.000 Home to mommy.

00:21:53.000 She probably likes me.

00:21:55.000 A different galaxy, frankly, or in a different way.

00:21:59.000 I always said, if people are bad tripping, sorry, you've got to go.

00:22:02.000 Yeah, but you don't have to go home, but you've got to go upstairs to my sister's bedroom or something.

00:22:09.000 You can go sit there.

00:22:10.000 You've got to wait out your bummer, fucking bad trips.

00:22:13.000 You've got to ride that wave.

00:22:14.000 Bad trips are contagious.

00:22:15.000 Get the hell out of here, brown people.

00:22:18.000 Brown acid people.

00:22:20.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:22:21.000 But the secret to a bad trip, by the way, I haven't done drugs in many years, but the secret to a bad trip is to go, I'm not dying.

00:22:29.000 This is not stage four cancer.

00:22:30.000 This is just a very, very heavy, shitty trip, and it will not last forever.

00:22:35.000 People clean out the sewers.

00:22:37.000 People are in war zones.

00:22:39.000 Six hours, I just got to sit here.

00:22:41.000 Imagine you're waiting for a bus, and there's no other way to get home, and the next bus is in six hours.

00:22:47.000 You got to sit at the bus station and have a shitty time.

00:22:49.000 You'll make it.

00:22:50.000 You'll make it.

00:22:51.000 Somebody on Rogan said you have to be, it's like you're a warrior.

00:22:54.000 You have to battle through it.

00:22:54.000 And I was like, that really helped.

00:22:56.000 Yeah.

00:22:57.000 I don't know if you can save a bad trip.

00:23:00.000 I don't know.

00:23:00.000 I think I've saved one.

00:23:01.000 I haven't tripped in a long time.

00:23:03.000 No.

00:23:04.000 I don't know if I did anything to save it or if it just kind of went away.

00:23:07.000 I remember the biggest problem with bad trips was you read about that dude who did acid once, and then he was on acid for the rest of his life, and you're like, I'm one of those.

00:23:14.000 He thought he was a glass of orange juice or something.

00:23:16.000 You heard that one?

00:23:18.000 Yeah.

00:23:18.000 Well, I knew a dude who was a banana for a year and a half.

00:23:23.000 Not a banana for a year and a half, but he was a lot of shit for a year and a half.

00:23:26.000 But then I found out later he did like a sheet.

00:23:32.000 He was a lot of shit for a year and a half.

00:23:33.000 He did like this many tabs.

00:23:36.000 Yeah, 100 hits in a bladder.

00:23:38.000 So, yeah.

00:23:39.000 He was on the bus.

00:23:40.000 He said, I interviewed him for Vice back when we were newsprint.

00:23:43.000 And he would like wake up and his face was melting.

00:23:46.000 He had, his mom would like bring him soup.

00:23:48.000 He would eat like once a day, a few spoonfuls.

00:23:51.000 He'd lost like 80 pounds.

00:23:52.000 Wow.

00:23:52.000 He would sleep on a bare mattress with no sheets or anything.

00:23:55.000 And he'd get on the bus and like everything was an episode of Gumball, the cartoon.

00:24:01.000 Jesus.

00:24:02.000 Like the bus was made of fucking balsa wood.

00:24:05.000 People were bleeding to death on the bus.

00:24:07.000 One of the guys was a fellow banana.

00:24:10.000 And then he got better.

00:24:11.000 It's quiet.

00:24:12.000 Yeah, no, it's nice.

00:24:14.000 Then there was another dude.

00:24:16.000 I ever told this story?

00:24:17.000 It's a long one, but I met my friend Rupert Bottenberg, I think was his name.

00:24:22.000 He's a cartoonist in Montreal.

00:24:24.000 And we go there, and everyone's really uncomfortable.

00:24:26.000 And I'm fucking a bull in a china shop my entire life.

00:24:30.000 And I walk up, I'm like, what's up?

00:24:31.000 No, what's up, faggots?

00:24:34.000 And there's this one guy, like, he's super tall.

00:24:36.000 He's like 6'2 ⁇ .

00:24:37.000 And he's grown out.

00:24:39.000 Take a quarter right here and just grow that.

00:24:42.000 Ew.

00:24:44.000 Then he had it braided with beads on it.

00:24:46.000 So he's got this weird like rat tail from the very top of his head grown out to here with beads on.

00:24:52.000 And I'm like, dude, what the fuck is with your hair?

00:24:57.000 I mean, rat tails are one thing, but you've got a beaded rat tail at the top of your head?

00:25:02.000 Do you think he was a monk or something?

00:25:03.000 What are you thinking?

00:25:05.000 And he goes, oh yeah, check this out.

00:25:07.000 And then he starts going.

00:25:09.000 And then it becomes like a propeller on the top of his head.

00:25:13.000 That's the point of it, I guess.

00:25:14.000 And I go, dude, you seem like one of these fucking weirdos that took acid once, and then you were permanently on acid.

00:25:21.000 And then everyone looks at me and going, what the fuck?

00:25:23.000 And I go, this is a bad vibe here.

00:25:25.000 Everyone's so uncomfortable.

00:25:26.000 I go piss.

00:25:27.000 Aren't you all always, the apartments all have stairs in them?

00:25:31.000 I go, it's very long and skinny and tall, right?

00:25:34.000 I go piss, and there's a woman on the stairs who I guess is my age now.

00:25:39.000 She's probably, no, actually younger.

00:25:40.000 She's maybe like 40.

00:25:41.000 He was 20.

00:25:42.000 And I realized, holy fuck, he is that guy.

00:25:47.000 Actually, it was explained to me later.

00:25:48.000 The mom brought him there to hang out with his friends to see if it might sort of trigger some normalcy and get him to stop being a banana for a while.

00:25:57.000 Wow.

00:25:59.000 And so she's, I think she heard what I said in the living room and she's mortified.

00:26:03.000 She's just like, but I'm talking to you.

00:26:09.000 Anyway, not a great way to advertise shell shock CBD.

00:26:13.000 None of that will happen with this.

00:26:14.000 We're going on a very, very far tangent with a drug called LSD, where this guy probably did the equivalent of what we've done in our.

00:26:22.000 Yeah, might get the munchies.

00:26:25.000 Oh, Jordan Peterson is here.

00:26:27.000 Yeah, that's about it.

00:26:28.000 Maybe, you know, in the middle of your night, you'll be like watching cartoons or playing video games.

00:26:34.000 You're like, oh, boy, I'm hungry.

00:26:36.000 So maybe that'll happen.

00:26:37.000 But that's about it.

00:26:39.000 Yeah, if you're scared of getting too high, don't take the ones with THC.

00:26:44.000 When you try their products and love them, be sure to sign up for a subscription to receive 10% off your order every month and to ensure you're never without your favorite products.

00:26:54.000 Don't miss out on their limited Halloween edition booberry-flavored CBD bomb drops.

00:26:59.000 Shell Shock products are 100% grown, harvested, and manufactured right here in America.

00:27:03.000 All products are also third-party tested to ensure optimal quality is always achieved and transparency is always given.

00:27:11.000 Go to Shell Shock CBD, spelled like that, cbd.com slash Gavin and use codes Gavin or G-O-M-L for 20% off your first order.

00:27:26.000 Follow them on Instagram at Shell Shock Wellness or go to Bubbaandhanks.com for a free sample pack of Shell Shock.

00:27:40.000 See, how did that happen?

00:27:42.000 Because they were never together.

00:27:44.000 Surprised me in the least.

00:27:45.000 Wait.

00:27:46.000 So this guy who does our ad sales, I was like, just fire him, dude.

00:27:51.000 He's got to go.

00:27:53.000 Fucking Gavin loves gold like three times in a row.

00:27:57.000 But let me just see.

00:27:59.000 Because the guy that I know who hired him was like, don't worry, man.

00:28:04.000 He's back on track.

00:28:06.000 Well, he's a friend of mine.

00:28:07.000 I mean, I've known him for years.

00:28:08.000 Through us.

00:28:11.000 No, a little bit before that from Compound.

00:28:14.000 Hey, man.

00:28:19.000 Yeah, I'm doing the show, but I'm just hanging out, talking to people.

00:28:22.000 Oh, shit.

00:28:28.000 That was weird.

00:28:30.000 Did you just get forwarded to a voicemail during your call?

00:28:36.000 Uh.

00:28:38.000 Did he pay you the 5K?

00:28:43.000 Because last time I asked him about the money he owed, he was like, yeah, yeah, he's mailing us a check.

00:28:47.000 It's going to be here in like two weeks.

00:28:50.000 But is he walking?

00:28:51.000 Yeah, it's been.

00:28:54.000 Oh, hi.

00:28:55.000 It'll be here in a fortnight, son.

00:28:57.000 Oh, my God.

00:28:57.000 Wait a minute.

00:28:58.000 The next one is Gold Coat.

00:29:00.000 That's Gavin Loves Gold, right?

00:29:02.000 Let's see.

00:29:03.000 No, no.

00:29:04.000 Pull up Gavin Loves Gold.

00:29:10.000 I proofread them.

00:29:11.000 He's got that Chicago accent, which Howard Stern has been doing of late.

00:29:15.000 What did you type in to get that?

00:29:16.000 Gavin Loves Gold.

00:29:18.000 He's got Gavin Likes Gold.

00:29:20.000 Wait, I think that's the one that originally worked.

00:29:22.000 I think they bought both.

00:29:24.000 No, go look up Gavin Likes Gold.

00:29:26.000 It's one of the baby monsters who made a fake.

00:29:29.000 That's the one, right?

00:29:32.000 Yeah.

00:29:34.000 Oh, boy.

00:29:34.000 I got to fucking...

00:29:39.000 This is amazing.

00:29:40.000 Amazing.

00:29:41.000 Fucking EJ.

00:29:41.000 Okay.

00:29:49.000 This is the third week in a row.

00:29:55.000 Dude, have you seen the Goldco copy?

00:30:00.000 Yes, I sent you two emails.

00:30:03.000 Yes.

00:30:04.000 What do you mean you sent me two emails?

00:30:07.000 I email you every Thursday.

00:30:09.000 Okay.

00:30:10.000 So, go look at the Goldco copy.

00:30:17.000 Alright.

00:30:18.000 Hold on a moment, please.

00:30:21.000 I got time.

00:30:25.000 If I catch any of you fuckers along.

00:30:27.000 Hey, there's Ryan.

00:30:30.000 Turn off the show.

00:30:31.000 Okay.

00:30:32.000 He's feeding back.

00:30:34.000 No problem.

00:30:36.000 I also don't want him to hear me talking shit about him.

00:30:39.000 What is the issue now?

00:30:40.000 Please.

00:30:41.000 Please go to the Goldco.

00:30:43.000 Why are you talking like an air traffic controller?

00:30:47.000 Because that's going to be a bumpy advertisement.

00:30:50.000 I'm trying to be very polite.

00:30:52.000 I'm celebrating five years of being open as a business today.

00:30:57.000 Yeah, just.

00:31:00.000 All right, so what do you want me to look at?

00:31:02.000 In the Goldco?

00:31:04.000 Yeah.

00:31:05.000 Look at the URL.

00:31:09.000 Congratulations.

00:31:10.000 We bought both URLs.

00:31:11.000 Oh, you did?

00:31:13.000 Yeah, we made sure that just in case someone made an error, if it's likes or love.

00:31:19.000 Oh, that's smart.

00:31:21.000 That's smart.

00:31:22.000 Yeah, no.

00:31:23.000 You're no dummy.

00:31:24.000 So go to gavinlikesgold.com.

00:31:28.000 Okay.

00:31:29.000 I love them.

00:31:34.000 Please.

00:31:35.000 Copy.

00:31:39.000 Fuck.

00:31:40.000 I got the bears on in the background, so if you hear some fox and shit, that's my concern.

00:31:46.000 That's my top concern is swears in the background.

00:31:50.000 Not the most Nazi cartoon in the world.

00:31:54.000 I was going to say that does look a little Hitler propaganda-y.

00:31:58.000 Yeah.

00:31:58.000 Why did you do that?

00:31:59.000 I took them like 12 images of you.

00:32:01.000 I did not create this image.

00:32:03.000 That I can also back up.

00:32:08.000 Buddy, they didn't make that website.

00:32:12.000 This is someone fucking with us who bought the URL.

00:32:16.000 That is an anti-Semitic trope to make us look bad.

00:32:21.000 And I got to admit, it's pretty funny as a diss, but it is an effective fuck you to me.

00:32:28.000 Yeah, but I'd never tell you to fuck you.

00:32:31.000 That's not my MO, buddy.

00:32:33.000 Like, we're effortless.

00:32:35.000 I enjoy working with you and Tony and Ryan.

00:32:39.000 Does he not understand that at all?

00:32:41.000 How do you not understand what's going on here?

00:32:43.000 Someone else owns Gavin likes gold.

00:32:46.000 Like, just think of, first of all, forget like the cartoon.

00:32:49.000 Think of that as a swastika, okay?

00:32:53.000 That's what it is.

00:32:54.000 So someone has made a swastika site with one of our sponsors because we were stupid, you were stupid, and put Gavin likes gold instead of Gavin loves gold.

00:33:04.000 So they thought, this is an opportunity for comedy.

00:33:06.000 I'm going to buy Gavin likes gold and make it racist.

00:33:10.000 Not because of the guy's racist, because he's funny.

00:33:13.000 But it's bad.

00:33:15.000 The gentleman that owns the country is a really nice guy, man.

00:33:18.000 Like, he would not...

00:33:20.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

00:33:21.000 We got Gavin likes gold and Gavin loves gold.

00:33:24.000 So I'll fix the graphic for you.

00:33:27.000 That's not a problem.

00:33:29.000 He has no comprehension of that.

00:33:31.000 So the graphic is just like an unfortunate mistake.

00:33:35.000 You don't think it's like on purpose?

00:33:39.000 Gavin, we've done too much work together.

00:33:44.000 We ever sacrifice.

00:33:47.000 And it just, come on, man.

00:33:50.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a traditional...

00:33:53.000 I'd never do that to you.

00:33:58.000 Now I'm convinced that you're a genius.

00:34:01.000 Oh, thank you.

00:34:02.000 Come on, nah, dog.

00:34:04.000 Now I'm going from a frown to a smile, so I don't mind being insulted ever.

00:34:09.000 No, you're pretty good.

00:34:11.000 You're pretty good.

00:34:11.000 Touche.

00:34:12.000 You're fired.

00:34:13.000 By the way, you're fired.

00:34:14.000 But if this was a prank, you did a fucking pretty good job.

00:34:22.000 Anyway, goodbye.

00:34:26.000 How did he try to turn around and play the victim there?

00:34:28.000 It's got to be a prank.

00:34:30.000 This is next level prank.

00:34:33.000 Because we have received tens of thousands of dollars from him.

00:34:36.000 So I'm at like 50-50.

00:34:38.000 The guy is either so retarded, I can't believe he knows how to wipe his own ass.

00:34:44.000 Or he is like next level Kaufman, outdid me a hundred times, and he got a job at a place and became so shitty that he like, but the weird thing is, like, shell shock, everything's fine.

00:35:00.000 So that's part of it, I guess.

00:35:01.000 Like, you let real shit go.

00:35:03.000 Yeah, that's the setup.

00:35:04.000 The setup's never funny.

00:35:06.000 But then you, like, throw Bubba and Hanks in there, just little things.

00:35:10.000 Like, a great prank is I heard, I can't remember who this was, some celebrity.

00:35:14.000 It might have even been, and I'm sad to admit this, but George Clooney, I heard he, like, he was on a movie set, and he would take his co-star's shoes, Matt Damon or something, and he would, he would buy the same shoes, but like half a size smaller every day.

00:35:30.000 So Matt Damon was going nuts because he's like, what the fuck is with my feet?

00:35:35.000 They keep growing.

00:35:36.000 That's the level of joke this is, if it's a joke.

00:35:39.000 Where you get the Bubbin Hanks gift card, and then you say, no, no, no, we bought Gavin likes gold.

00:35:45.000 It's cool.

00:35:46.000 It's not a joke.

00:35:47.000 Dude, it's an anti-Semitic trope dressed as me.

00:35:50.000 Look, if you don't like the graphic, I can change the graphic.

00:35:55.000 Yeah, I don't like the graphic.

00:35:57.000 Nobody likes the graphic, but Nazis.

00:36:00.000 Gavin dislikesgraphic.com.

00:36:03.000 Okay, you don't want a swastika now, I know.

00:36:06.000 But he keeps sending the wrong one.

00:36:09.000 What?

00:36:10.000 It's Gavin loves gold.

00:36:11.000 Right.

00:36:12.000 And he keeps sending you on the read, Gavin likes gold.

00:36:14.000 Yes.

00:36:15.000 Homeboy is going to be easy.

00:36:16.000 But he thinks that's fine because Gavin loves gold, which is this, and Gavin likes gold, are both owned by us.

00:36:25.000 Yes.

00:36:25.000 And I don't know why he would do that.

00:36:27.000 He'd send them images, plenty of images.

00:36:29.000 But don't do anything.

00:36:30.000 But don't, that's another.

00:36:31.000 Okay, there's two, we'll call him dude.

00:36:34.000 There's two dudes here.

00:36:35.000 There's the guy who's pranking us, who deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.

00:36:38.000 That's so fucking sad.

00:36:39.000 And I'm very impressed with you, by the way.

00:36:41.000 I'd like to hire you again.

00:36:42.000 You're now unfired.

00:36:45.000 Stop pranking me, though.

00:36:46.000 That's one of the criteria at your new job is all pranks have to be away from here.

00:36:53.000 With respect to the company.

00:36:56.000 So that's one dude.

00:36:57.000 We'll call him Dude A. Dude B is the stupidest person I've ever worked with in my life.

00:37:02.000 Now, dude B was told by my baby monster, don't worry, man, I have Gavin likes gold.

00:37:10.000 And by the way, that guy's funny too, if it is dude B. So he goes, he's like, okay, okay, look, the bears are on, but look, Gavin loves gold.

00:37:20.000 So the site, can you just redirect it there?

00:37:23.000 And then I bet this dude goes, sure, just send me some graphics.

00:37:27.000 And he's like, oh, okay.

00:37:29.000 I guess that's for the splash page.

00:37:31.000 So he sends the guy pictures of me.

00:37:33.000 And then the guy is like, fuck you.

00:37:35.000 I'm not doing those.

00:37:36.000 And then he makes the fucking Nazi trope.

00:37:38.000 But it still doesn't excuse it.

00:37:40.000 Change it on the fucking paper from Gavin likes gold where it's supposed to be.

00:37:43.000 Yes.

00:37:44.000 Like, that's the point.

00:37:44.000 No, no.

00:37:45.000 That's the point.

00:37:46.000 Sort of.

00:37:47.000 Yes, that's a good point.

00:37:48.000 But if, in all good faith, our guys own Gavin likes gold, then it doesn't matter.

00:37:54.000 You don't have to fix the typo.

00:37:56.000 Because Gavin likes gold is going to have a fun graphic of me going, sorry, wrong one.

00:38:00.000 And then direct you to Gavin Loves Gold.

00:38:05.000 So, yeah.

00:38:09.000 You know, I googled this dude because the first time I met him, he was so annoying.

00:38:13.000 I thought, this guy's a genius and he's a prankster.

00:38:15.000 And I looked up his company and they had one client who was some real estate woman who, like, it fucking, what's the one with the hot air balloon?

00:38:26.000 Is that Flow or Progressive?

00:38:28.000 No.

00:38:28.000 Oops.

00:38:28.000 No, real estate shit for brands.

00:38:33.000 Something Max.

00:38:34.000 Yeah, whatever it was, right?

00:38:36.000 It wasn't that.

00:38:36.000 It's just something like that.

00:38:38.000 And she's like, I had a great time working with these guys.

00:38:40.000 They're really good.

00:38:41.000 Century.

00:38:43.000 Whatever.

00:38:44.000 And that's different.

00:38:45.000 That's not the hot air balloons.

00:38:48.000 And I thought, okay, you have one client, huh?

00:38:53.000 I would rather have, say this guy is dude B and he's just incompetent.

00:38:57.000 I would rather just from my own wallet promote, I don't know, brands I like, like Budweiser and Makersmark, and receive no money than have to deal with this motherfucker's bullshit ever again.

00:39:12.000 They are retarded, he's fired in some ways.

00:39:14.000 They're genius, he's 100% fired.

00:39:17.000 No, this is why are you such a pussy?

00:39:20.000 Because there's so much fun here.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, it's so much fun.

00:39:25.000 Hey, man.

00:39:27.000 Did you get oh, wait, you're on the air?

00:39:30.000 Let me get you off the air.

00:39:31.000 Did you get the check for $5,000?

00:39:34.000 $10?

00:39:41.000 Okay.

00:39:43.000 He is fired.

00:39:44.000 He's either the greatest prankster in the world, and that's kudos to him, but we finally caught on five months in, or he's the most incompetent Cro-Magnon man ever born.

00:39:58.000 Either way, we don't want him around.

00:40:00.000 So I'm happy to pay out of my fucking salary the money we lose for not having sponsors, but I'm not working with this fucking clown ever again.

00:40:07.000 I don't want to know his life.

00:40:09.000 I don't, if he gets, if fucking a drone strikes his house, I don't want to hear about it.

00:40:15.000 I don't fucking care.

00:40:17.000 Agreed?

00:40:20.000 All right.

00:40:21.000 Bye.

00:40:23.000 I can tell.

00:40:24.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed.

00:40:25.000 He's like, agreed, man.

00:40:27.000 Agreed.

00:40:30.000 I got to start.

00:40:31.000 I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have been like, we got to start smoking pot.

00:40:35.000 New Year's resolution.

00:40:37.000 Get back.

00:40:38.000 I asked her brother, I was once, because he's a fucking raging pothead.

00:40:41.000 I was like, how much pot do you smoke, bro?

00:40:44.000 And he's like, I try to smoke once a day.

00:40:48.000 And I'm like, it's not working out.

00:40:53.000 I have my days where I fuck up and I don't smoke weed.

00:40:56.000 But I try to get in once a day.

00:40:58.000 Once a day.

00:41:04.000 I want to get back to it.

00:41:06.000 I don't know.

00:41:07.000 Weed?

00:41:08.000 Yeah.

00:41:09.000 I want to get back into weed.

00:41:11.000 I thought about that too.

00:41:12.000 Fall is the perfect season.

00:41:14.000 Yeah.

00:41:14.000 Fall is the perfect season for that.

00:41:17.000 Yeah, the giggles.

00:41:18.000 It's great for your marriage.

00:41:19.000 The constant giggling.

00:41:22.000 I could totally picture that.

00:41:23.000 We just sit there, we watch a movie, and now it's like exciting again.

00:41:27.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 Like laughing your fucking face off with your wife.

00:41:31.000 That's the best marriage therapy anyone can have.

00:41:35.000 So we've kind of done this gold co-read.

00:41:37.000 This may be the last of our sponsors forever.

00:41:40.000 But my fellow Americans, if you have an IRA 401k or savings account, things are getting scary out there.

00:41:44.000 The Biden administration has already printed more.

00:41:47.000 Of course you're fired for allowing for an anti-Semitic trope to be one of your sponsor's websites.

00:41:54.000 Like, duh.

00:41:56.000 If you're not fired for that, what the fuck are you, if you're not fired for this, what the fuck are you fired for?

00:42:07.000 This is worse than sleeping in.

00:42:09.000 This is like as bad as it gets.

00:42:14.000 Like, who said, yep, that's good.

00:42:16.000 Let's put this.

00:42:16.000 What you're doing?

00:42:17.000 He didn't check.

00:42:18.000 He didn't check.

00:42:19.000 And he sent it as a read.

00:42:21.000 And then the read is fucking Shylock Jew of our clients.

00:42:26.000 Like, dude, you couldn't be a better saboteur.

00:42:29.000 And by the way, if you're an ad sales dude and people assume that you're a brilliant saboteur, you probably suck.

00:42:37.000 You're probably really bad at your job.

00:42:41.000 Wow.

00:42:43.000 Wow.

00:42:44.000 But anyway, thank you, Goldcoat, for sponsoring the site.

00:42:48.000 I'm sorry that you've had to suffer through this incompetence.

00:42:52.000 I mean, this ad's free, by the way.

00:42:54.000 I'm not charging you for this one.

00:42:56.000 But the Biden administration has already printed more money in the past two years than the previous 100 years combined.

00:43:02.000 National debt just hit a record $30 trillion, and inflation is the highest we've seen since 1982.

00:43:07.000 It's only a matter of time before the House of Cards comes crashing down.

00:43:11.000 If you have retirement savings, your money could be at serious risk.

00:43:14.000 Talk to my friends at Goldco to see how you can protect your retirement with gold and silver before it's too late.

00:43:20.000 Go to gavinlovesgold.com, and they will give you up to $10,000 in free silver when you open an account.

00:43:27.000 That's GavinLovesGold.

00:43:30.000 I think you'll know if you got the right page.

00:43:32.000 You might know the difference.

00:43:34.000 If there's swastikas on the site, probably not for you or 99.9% of the population.

00:43:43.000 If there's a nice graphic with silver and that stuff and in God We Trust, yeah, you're probably at the right fucking place.

00:43:50.000 If there's one guy around that I could laugh at their incompetence, that makes me so happy to think of it.

00:43:58.000 You're Steve Bannon compared to him.

00:44:00.000 That's why I want him to stay so bad.

00:44:02.000 Not only do I like the guy, it's entertaining.

00:44:04.000 Sorry.

00:44:05.000 You never know what you're going to get.

00:44:06.000 Sorry.

00:44:07.000 Worst case scenario, things go smoothly.

00:44:11.000 Dude, if that guy is like a Kartnark genius, then I want to meet him.

00:44:21.000 Let's make a list of all the things he said.

00:44:23.000 The bears are on the background.

00:44:24.000 He's got the show playing.

00:44:25.000 We could hear the echoing of the last drop we just did.

00:44:28.000 Yeah, dude.

00:44:28.000 And then the bears on.

00:44:30.000 That guy's a fucking.

00:44:31.000 I'm trying to keep my temper down because it is our five-year anniversary today.

00:44:37.000 You're right.

00:44:37.000 This is a scary Perry Kartnerick fucking dude.

00:44:41.000 Now, in my defense, I was not in charge of sponsorships.

00:44:47.000 I gave that to someone else at the company.

00:44:49.000 I was like, look, I'll do reads.

00:44:50.000 You find it.

00:44:51.000 I'm not a sales guy.

00:44:52.000 I suck at that.

00:44:53.000 He's like, don't worry, I got it.

00:44:55.000 So the guy who I just called, dude, you're in trouble too, because you allowed for this unbelievable incompetence.

00:45:02.000 Wait, how long has that fucking Shylock graphic been up?

00:45:06.000 A couple weeks.

00:45:06.000 Couple weeks.

00:45:08.000 Before I was in the hospital, it was up.

00:45:13.000 And it never changed on the read.

00:45:14.000 It was always Gavin likes gold.

00:45:16.000 So we're directed to that.

00:45:19.000 Well, yeah, but we caught that, and we would say Gavin loves gold.

00:45:22.000 Right.

00:45:22.000 And then I would get mad when I saw Gavin likes gold was still in the piece of paper.

00:45:25.000 How you remember is, I love gold from gold member.

00:45:29.000 But even that became a little tricky.

00:45:31.000 You shouldn't have to remember.

00:45:32.000 It should just be the right URL.

00:45:34.000 This is the problem with being a prankster.

00:45:38.000 Like, I love dishing it out.

00:45:39.000 Not a big fan of taking it.

00:45:42.000 I hate this fucking shit.

00:45:43.000 I'm a hypocrite.

00:45:45.000 I want to hit shit with my golf club.

00:45:47.000 I don't want my shit hit with a golf club.

00:45:49.000 I hate this fucking shit.

00:45:51.000 With tears in your eyes.

00:45:54.000 It was a joke.

00:45:55.000 I was here.

00:45:56.000 It's a joke.

00:45:57.000 Dude, I just watched when Sal, no, Vito, fell in love with that dude with Johnny Cakes.

00:46:05.000 I showed it to Anthony and he's like, this is the gayest thing that has ever been on TV, including rent.

00:46:11.000 No, you haven't seen Dahmer.

00:46:13.000 Dahmer is pretty gay.

00:46:15.000 No, but have you seen the Johnny Cakes episode?

00:46:17.000 Of course.

00:46:17.000 Vito falls in love with this fucking guy who works at a diner with a handlebar mustache.

00:46:21.000 And then he sees a fire and the dude shows up on a Harley to fight the fire in his fire gear.

00:46:29.000 And then he puts on the fire hat.

00:46:30.000 He saves like a kid.

00:46:32.000 And Vito's just sitting there with the boner.

00:46:34.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:35.000 Oh, boy.

00:46:36.000 It's so over the top, gay.

00:46:38.000 It's so over the top, gay, I couldn't even tell if it was Vito's fantasy or if this was really happening.

00:46:44.000 Because you don't see a lot of firemen show up on fucking Harley's.

00:46:48.000 I love you, Johnny Cakes.

00:46:51.000 Now we're going to get sucked in, but let's try not to.

00:46:57.000 It's good.

00:46:58.000 First time here, try the Johnny Cakes.

00:47:00.000 Next time I'm at a diner and someone says, first time here, try the Johnny Cakes.

00:47:04.000 I'm going to say, fuck you, faggot.

00:47:06.000 Let me guess.

00:47:07.000 Your Harley's outside.

00:47:08.000 You're looking at my cock, you fucking homo.

00:47:12.000 No, we sell Johnny cakes.

00:47:15.000 So he's a fireman and works as a short-order cook in a diner?

00:47:18.000 Yeah, firemen make pretty good money.

00:47:22.000 And we know you're not paying for a divorce because you're gay.

00:47:25.000 Yeah, look at him pouring those eggs onto us.

00:47:28.000 Like, even a straight guy wouldn't get that horny for any sort of shape of checkpoint.

00:47:32.000 Oh, I'd have a boner right now.

00:47:33.000 He looks like Terry Richardson.

00:47:35.000 I had a boner for him.

00:47:36.000 Terry.

00:47:38.000 I just told a Terry joke to my kid this morning.

00:47:42.000 Well, maybe he's gay.

00:47:43.000 You ever thought of that?

00:47:44.000 If you're American when you're outside of the bathroom, what are you when you're inside of the bathroom?

00:47:48.000 European.

00:47:49.000 That's right.

00:47:49.000 European.

00:47:50.000 Wait, go back to the Harley scene.

00:47:54.000 Did we pass it?

00:47:55.000 Yeah, you did.

00:47:56.000 The clapping was him rescuing the baby.

00:47:58.000 There he is.

00:47:59.000 He shows up with his gear on.

00:48:02.000 Nice.

00:48:03.000 Isn't it funny the difference that we are with women and gays?

00:48:15.000 Like, we want women in lingerie alone at home.

00:48:18.000 Like, they just go to the bath or something.

00:48:21.000 and they're just lying there being zombies.

00:48:24.000 And men and girls, I mean gays and girls are like, He needs props.

00:48:31.000 Yeah, he has to do all this shit.

00:48:33.000 Our sexual desires are just like, don't do shit.

00:48:36.000 Don't read a book.

00:48:37.000 It's either a sexual fantasy or a Joe Tonelli story.

00:48:43.000 Literally the same life.

00:48:45.000 Oh, my God.

00:48:45.000 Maybe he got this from this.

00:48:48.000 He's like, you guys should try.

00:48:49.000 We know if Joe ever says, like, you guys ever tried Johnny Cakes?

00:48:52.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:48:53.000 This is Vito's inner monologue.

00:48:55.000 I'll eat your ass.

00:48:56.000 Oh, he's sitting there tapping his hand.

00:48:58.000 I looked up today, by the way, I looked up a bunch of shit where corporations had to pay a billion dollars because that was Alex Jones' fine for probably $960 billion or something.

00:49:11.000 Probably being incorrect about Sandy Hook.

00:49:14.000 Probably calling bullshit on something that was probably not bullshit.

00:49:20.000 What should the fine for that be?

00:49:21.000 The fine for that should be $0.

00:49:23.000 You're setting a hell of a precedent here.

00:49:26.000 How many times have we all been wrong about shit?

00:49:28.000 It's now a billion-dollar fine for being wrong?

00:49:33.000 What?

00:49:34.000 Joe Biden must be fucking fined eight training.

00:49:38.000 I met the chick from the Game of Thrones who was a Targaryen.

00:49:44.000 Targaryen.

00:49:46.000 The chick, the blonde who ran the dragons.

00:49:49.000 I saw her in that movie Han Solo, and I was like, that's the most beautiful woman that's ever been created.

00:49:56.000 Did you see her in?

00:49:57.000 I think it's called Han.

00:49:59.000 It's Solo, I think it's called, right?

00:50:00.000 Solo.

00:50:01.000 Maybe it's Solo.

00:50:02.000 What the fuck's your name?

00:50:03.000 Super Gorgeous Pants?

00:50:05.000 I believe that's the first time I've been talking about it.

00:50:06.000 After that thing, if you go to bubbaandhanks.com.

00:50:14.000 Promo code Gary.

00:50:16.000 Nielsie Gold.

00:50:18.000 Promo code Shylock.

00:50:19.000 Gavin likes Shylock.

00:50:21.000 You'll see who I'm talking about.

00:50:24.000 No, look up.

00:50:24.000 It's probably in the trailer for a solo.

00:50:26.000 I'm looking it up here.

00:50:27.000 Amelia Clark.

00:50:28.000 Amelia Clark.

00:50:28.000 So find the solo thing.

00:50:31.000 She's as hot as that.

00:50:32.000 I didn't mean to shut you out.

00:50:35.000 Kimbra?

00:50:36.000 Kimbra.

00:50:36.000 She's as hot as Kimbra in that movie.

00:50:38.000 What the fuck?

00:50:39.000 I was like, okay, well, I'm killing my wife and I'm stalking her.

00:50:43.000 I'm going to pretend that I still own vice and I want to do a cover story.

00:50:49.000 I googled it.

00:50:50.000 It says that you were long gone.

00:50:53.000 Yeah, that's a ruse.

00:50:55.000 It's a fucking joke.

00:50:56.000 It's a joke.

00:50:58.000 My mouse died, so this is as good as a mouse died.

00:51:01.000 Yeah.

00:51:02.000 It's not even clicking anymore.

00:51:06.000 What the fuck?

00:51:07.000 Because it's out of batteries?

00:51:08.000 No, it would have told me low battery.

00:51:11.000 I'm just clicking around helplessly.

00:51:13.000 All right.

00:51:13.000 Well, this does not make for great television.

00:51:15.000 Well, there she is.

00:51:16.000 I can't remember the last time I watched Tucker and heard a guy going, Tucker, my mouse broke.

00:51:21.000 The Martina Markota light is now on the screen.

00:51:27.000 Click on an all-Amelia Clark scenes on solo.

00:51:31.000 Get another mouse.

00:51:32.000 Go get my mouse from my office.

00:51:35.000 This is my other computer.

00:51:37.000 Okay, so find all Amelia Clark scenes.

00:51:42.000 Alright, I wish I was that guy in the vest.

00:51:44.000 Can't really see what's going on.

00:51:45.000 What are we going solo?

00:51:47.000 Yeah.

00:51:50.000 Can't really see anything.

00:51:56.000 Play dark movie, literally.

00:52:02.000 Can't see it.

00:52:05.000 maybe that's why I thought she was so hot in this.

00:52:07.000 I couldn't fucking see her.

00:52:08.000 It's worth at least 800 credits, maybe more.

00:52:13.000 There we go.

00:52:14.000 That's a perfect 10, right?

00:52:16.000 No.

00:52:17.000 I gotta see the body.

00:52:19.000 You what?

00:52:20.000 I gotta see her body.

00:52:22.000 I think it's pretty reasonable.

00:52:24.000 You can tell she's not a fan.

00:52:25.000 Oh, yeah, definitely.

00:52:27.000 What do you think about this?

00:52:29.000 There can be eights that you feel a four-level attraction to.

00:52:33.000 Oh, yeah.

00:52:33.000 Lady Gaga.

00:52:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:35.000 Lady Gaga, Katy Perry.

00:52:37.000 Both eights.

00:52:38.000 My dick is not interested.

00:52:39.000 I feel a three for her.

00:52:43.000 Really?

00:52:43.000 Yes.

00:52:44.000 Well, that's because you've seen the thing we're about to show, which we've discussed many times.

00:52:49.000 But I'm using it as an example.

00:52:50.000 So I said, she's a 10.

00:52:52.000 She's perfect.

00:52:53.000 Kill your wife and kids on Christmas Day just for the courtesy of kissing one of her butt cheeks.

00:52:58.000 Nice.

00:52:59.000 Then she did a song.

00:53:00.000 With those shoes.

00:53:03.000 With those shoes.

00:53:16.000 She's got a million dollars now because of that?

00:53:18.000 That's with her pants.

00:53:21.000 I know.

00:53:22.000 She looks dumpy there.

00:53:23.000 She's got no bra on.

00:53:28.000 She looks like a friend's little sister.

00:53:30.000 I hate how the Coldplay guy said it's racist if you do a Jamaican accent, but you can have the tonation.

00:53:39.000 Why is it racist to do a Jamaican accent?

00:53:41.000 What?

00:53:42.000 Why is it racist to do a Jamaican?

00:53:44.000 It's not my rules.

00:53:46.000 Just the thing.

00:53:46.000 She reminds me of my friend John's little sister who would come around when we're all high and just be weird.

00:53:52.000 Like that doesn't give anyone any context.

00:53:55.000 That puts her in the four zone for me.

00:53:56.000 She looks like a fucking 40, a hot 48-year-old.

00:54:01.000 Yeah, what's happening there?

00:54:03.000 They're very scary and...

00:54:05.000 Blech.

00:54:06.000 Call me the nearest, I get it.

00:54:08.000 Call me the nearest.

00:54:11.000 Can I just watch Kitty Porn instead?

00:54:14.000 That would be an upgrade.

00:54:15.000 So anyway, I was wrong about that woman's sex appeal.

00:54:19.000 I have to pay $0.

00:54:21.000 That's the way it should be.

00:54:23.000 Alex, $964 million.

00:54:26.000 And I saw, I was looking at things today.

00:54:28.000 Count Dankula was coming up with the different things people had to pay that fine for.

00:54:33.000 It's always a corporation that's massive.

00:54:36.000 A multi-billion dollar corporation.

00:54:38.000 And it's always for like a gas spill that killed 15,000 people or a pharmaceutical company lying about the drug and getting people hooked on OxyContin or whatever.

00:54:51.000 What's this?

00:54:54.000 What are you showing, Ryan?

00:54:55.000 This is the...

00:55:03.000 This is her.

00:55:09.000 Look at the little hand.

00:55:11.000 Looks like a dark crystal puppet.

00:55:15.000 That's not the same girl.

00:55:16.000 No, but this is the same energy.

00:55:19.000 This is Jewish rap.

00:55:20.000 Stop that.

00:55:21.000 It's LA Jew rap.

00:55:23.000 This is GavinLikesGold.com.

00:55:26.000 If you go to Gavin LikesGold right now, dude, I'll never know, by the way, I will never know if that guy was just a genius prankster.

00:55:36.000 We have to have a vote to see if he comes back.

00:55:38.000 Was he Cartnark?

00:55:39.000 I saw a good Cartnark the other day.

00:55:41.000 Uh-oh.

00:55:42.000 He was on Rollerblades, and you could tell by the video that he was on blades.

00:55:49.000 And some black dude was going to murder him.

00:55:52.000 He's like, oh, this guy's getting real violent.

00:55:54.000 This lazy bones.

00:55:56.000 In the video, I don't know if you can pull this up, but he has a new magnet that he sticks on cards.

00:56:00.000 By the way, folks at home, if you don't know what I'm talking about, Cartnark is a gentleman who volunteers to go to various stores and antagonize people who don't put their card away.

00:56:11.000 Yeah, this is the one.

00:56:14.000 And if they don't put their card away, he puts a magnet on their card that calls them lazy bones.

00:56:20.000 But he has a new one for people who advocate for this behavior, and he calls them lazy bone allies.

00:56:27.000 There's no reason to do this.

00:56:29.000 He doesn't make a penny.

00:56:30.000 He risks his life on a daily basis.

00:56:33.000 Turn it up.

00:56:34.000 Take it off my car, sir.

00:56:35.000 You know why I did it?

00:56:36.000 Sir.

00:56:37.000 Sir?

00:56:38.000 Take it off my car.

00:56:38.000 You know what they call those magnets?

00:56:40.000 Magnet cardas.

00:56:42.000 I just made that up.

00:56:43.000 Please, you left your cart block in the handicaps button.

00:56:45.000 I'm made a cart.

00:56:45.000 It's fine.

00:56:46.000 They got people who do that.

00:56:47.000 Yeah, where are they?

00:56:48.000 They're here right now?

00:56:48.000 You know them?

00:56:49.000 You're coming right out, sir.

00:56:50.000 Oh, I don't say.

00:56:51.000 Because that's funny.

00:56:51.000 I don't see them.

00:56:53.000 See, you know where the cars go, right?

00:56:56.000 That car returned right behind you.

00:57:00.000 I got a crushed bone in my foot, too, okay?

00:57:02.000 Does it look like I'm in very clear?

00:57:03.000 I got a forced car in my foot, too, okay?

00:57:06.000 This isn't insane, sir.

00:57:07.000 It's life and death for the carts.

00:57:10.000 Sir, I like your chains, by the way.

00:57:13.000 Now, if you had a chime, you can see it.

00:57:14.000 I like your chains, by the way.

00:57:16.000 Yeah, did he make his voice more grating?

00:57:18.000 He sounds like that dude, that hacker guy who pretends to be an old lady and catches Indian hackers and exposes them.

00:57:24.000 Oh, yeah, with that.

00:57:25.000 You know that guy?

00:57:26.000 He's got some filter on his computer that's like, I'm just trying to help out.

00:57:31.000 That guy rules too.

00:57:32.000 Everybody, get out of your car and litter.

00:57:34.000 You couldn't have taken the car where it belongs, sir.

00:57:38.000 That guy just got out of jail.

00:57:39.000 As I am, I worked by you.

00:57:41.000 12 years for murder.

00:57:45.000 I can't let people treat me like shit.

00:57:48.000 Just go on, man.

00:57:49.000 Hey, man, you need to get these guys out your parking lot, man.

00:57:52.000 With this, you need to get these guys off the parking lot, man.

00:57:56.000 I got one more for you.

00:57:58.000 You need to get these guys off your parking lot, man.

00:58:01.000 You need to get these guys off the parking lot.

00:58:04.000 Oh, he's trying to talk to the security.

00:58:06.000 You hear me?

00:58:07.000 You need to get him out your parking lot, man.

00:58:09.000 Over here putting shit on people's cars.

00:58:10.000 You need to talk to these fellas.

00:58:11.000 He's leaving his carts in the handicap.

00:58:16.000 What's my problem going to?

00:58:18.000 I'm going to snap the shit out of you.

00:58:19.000 But I'm an old man.

00:58:20.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:58:20.000 Oh, I get it.

00:58:22.000 He's not on rollerblades.

00:58:23.000 He's on a walker.

00:58:24.000 And he's disguised himself as an old man.

00:58:28.000 Wow.

00:58:29.000 Yeah, that's why you see A cardigan when he puts his hand out.

00:58:32.000 Wow.

00:58:33.000 That's great.

00:58:34.000 See, this is who our ad sales guy is.

00:58:37.000 It might be the same dude.

00:58:40.000 I've never seen Cardigan has been running our podcast sponsor.

00:58:45.000 No.

00:58:45.000 He's been told to turn around and tried to beat him up and fell chasing him.

00:58:51.000 I'm older than you.

00:58:52.000 Don't be putting that shit in my car.

00:58:54.000 You're literally so much.

00:58:55.000 You know what?

00:58:55.000 I'm going to give you one of the big ones this time.

00:58:59.000 I don't think you would.

00:59:00.000 I got my walker in the way.

00:59:01.000 You better take your ass off.

00:59:02.000 No.

00:59:03.000 Will you take your car back there?

00:59:05.000 You better go.

00:59:10.000 You were sure I walked in good for that broken bone.

00:59:14.000 Hey.

00:59:15.000 You better take your ass somewhere, man.

00:59:19.000 Look, I got.

00:59:20.000 Hey.

00:59:21.000 You better take your ass somewhere.

00:59:22.000 It's not a joke.

00:59:23.000 It's not a joke, man.

00:59:25.000 It's about what you think.

00:59:26.000 Made in America.

00:59:28.000 I got two words.

00:59:29.000 Made in America.

00:59:30.000 I got hairy legs and a broken foot.

00:59:33.000 Come on, man.

00:59:33.000 Look.

00:59:34.000 There's one word that sums up America.

00:59:42.000 Look.

00:59:43.000 You know the thing.

00:59:44.000 We got it.

00:59:46.000 Look, man.

00:59:47.000 Come on, man.

00:59:49.000 Look.

00:59:50.000 There's two.

00:59:51.000 I did everything I said I was going to run on when I run on.

00:59:54.000 Please just take me out of here.

00:59:56.000 I want to play golf.

00:59:58.000 I don't know why I fucking ran for president.

01:00:00.000 Wouldn't that be awesome at a press conference?

01:00:02.000 I don't know why the fuck I ran for president.

01:00:04.000 Sure, you should do it.

01:00:05.000 I'm really sorry.

01:00:06.000 Right now.

01:00:07.000 I don't like this.

01:00:09.000 I have not understood one thing any of you have said.

01:00:12.000 I didn't know one thing I signed.

01:00:14.000 The speeches are just gobbledygook.

01:00:17.000 They might as well be Chinese.

01:00:18.000 I can barely get through them.

01:00:19.000 I love golf.

01:00:21.000 I love my place in Delaware.

01:00:23.000 I really enjoy the show Matlock.

01:00:26.000 I like modern shows too.

01:00:28.000 I love this comedian, Jim Carey.

01:00:31.000 Have you seen Cable Guy?

01:00:33.000 Hilarious.

01:00:34.000 Cable Guy.

01:00:36.000 So without further to-do, I would like to say I am officially resigning as president.

01:00:43.000 I haven't told anyone this, by the way.

01:00:44.000 They think I'm doing a talk about climate change.

01:00:47.000 But yeah, I knew they would try to talk me out of it and shoot more fucking Adderall at my ass.

01:00:52.000 I don't like that drug, by the way.

01:00:54.000 I'm a fucking chatty Kathy for an hour, and then I'm in bed for three days.

01:00:58.000 So I'm done.

01:01:01.000 I'm never doing this.

01:01:02.000 I'm going to die soon, obviously.

01:01:03.000 So I'm obviously never doing this again.

01:01:05.000 But I feel like I let a lot of people down.

01:01:08.000 And I know I ruined my legacy.

01:01:10.000 I was kind of known as a ballsy, tough guy who threw everyone in jail.

01:01:13.000 I liked that legacy.

01:01:15.000 Kamala had it too.

01:01:16.000 We don't tolerate drugs and we'll throw blacks in jail.

01:01:19.000 I don't want a racial jungle.

01:01:20.000 I was kind of racist.

01:01:22.000 And that was kind of cool.

01:01:24.000 But this asshole, if you don't vote for me, you ain't black.

01:01:27.000 I'm floundering.

01:01:28.000 So anyway, I'm out.

01:01:31.000 I hate Trump, by the way.

01:01:32.000 I hope he doesn't come back in, but it's not my fight to fight.

01:01:37.000 DeSantis seems okay.

01:01:38.000 That Tulsi Gabrichik's okay.

01:01:41.000 I guess who do we have?

01:01:42.000 I don't really care.

01:01:43.000 That's the whole thing.

01:01:45.000 I don't fucking care anymore.

01:01:47.000 And if you want me to be brutally honest, I never cared.

01:01:51.000 I liked being vice president.

01:01:52.000 That seemed cool because it got Jill horny.

01:01:55.000 But yeah, even vice president, Obama made fun of me all the time.

01:02:00.000 He treated me like a second-class citizen.

01:02:02.000 He's a fucking snob.

01:02:03.000 I didn't like that guy.

01:02:05.000 I'm not racist.

01:02:05.000 I'm not going to call him an N, but I'm more likely to call him like a snob.

01:02:10.000 He's like a snobby academic.

01:02:13.000 So my job has been a joke, I would say, for the past 20 years.

01:02:20.000 First 30 years I liked.

01:02:21.000 And I wish I had retired then.

01:02:23.000 Anyway, I don't know why the fuck I'm president.

01:02:25.000 And I've probably already talked too long.

01:02:27.000 And you'll notice I'm wearing a Let's Go Brandon shirt.

01:02:30.000 That's kind of the point.

01:02:31.000 Anyway, that's why he was stuttering that whole time.

01:02:34.000 Because he was faking it.

01:02:35.000 Now he's no stutters in this speech.

01:02:37.000 Sorry, guys.

01:02:38.000 We've had a lot of different presidents over the years.

01:02:40.000 We've made a lot of mistakes.

01:02:42.000 I don't know if he should have gone into World War II, to be honest.

01:02:44.000 Vietnam, obvious huge accident.

01:02:46.000 Cuban Missile Crisis.

01:02:47.000 We've had some flubs.

01:02:49.000 And I'm a human flub.

01:02:51.000 Hopefully I can vindicate my legacy by being honest right now.

01:02:54.000 And this is the last time you're going to see me.

01:02:56.000 I'm going home.

01:02:57.000 The Clintons might kill me.

01:02:58.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:03:00.000 My son's dead.

01:03:02.000 My other son's a complete, useless, drug addict, fuckhead that ruined my legacy again, made it even worse.

01:03:10.000 So yeah.

01:03:10.000 Anyway, sorry.

01:03:12.000 Alright, peace.

01:03:13.000 *Sings*

01:03:26.000 I'd be like, fair game, Joe.

01:03:28.000 Fair game.

01:03:29.000 Well played.

01:03:30.000 Well played, mate.

01:03:31.000 Well played.

01:03:32.000 Not bad, geez.

01:03:34.000 Bring the country to the brink of World War III and nuclear war and bow out.

01:03:38.000 Yeah, people are like, whoa, whoa, what about Ukraine?

01:03:41.000 That's getting heavy.

01:03:44.000 Sorry.

01:03:45.000 It is.

01:03:46.000 It's a tumultuous time in the world.

01:03:49.000 We've passed a trillion, $75 million, billion.

01:03:53.000 I thought he was Jacob Zuma.

01:03:55.000 Right.

01:03:55.000 And the energy problem, we're going to deal with the whole notion of global warming.

01:04:00.000 We passed $368 billion worth of help, which, as the same bankers talk about, is going to bring $1,700 billion off the sidelines and investment.

01:04:13.000 You know what's scary?

01:04:14.000 I understand.

01:04:14.000 I ran on.

01:04:15.000 I said we're going to deal with anything.

01:04:16.000 We've passed $360 billion put aside for various projects.

01:04:22.000 And as Wall Street agrees, that's going to take $750 billion, almost a trillion, off the sidelines and back into the economy.

01:04:38.000 That I don't like.

01:04:39.000 When I start speaking, Joe, you're fucking losing.

01:04:42.000 Who are you?

01:04:44.000 I'm like E.T. He's Elliot.

01:04:48.000 We just touch fingers, and I understand him.

01:04:52.000 Trillion $700, billion dollars, billion dollars.

01:04:57.000 I understood that one, too.

01:04:58.000 I'm embarrassed to admit.

01:05:00.000 Okay, wow.

01:05:01.000 Lots of blabbing.

01:05:02.000 We had to deal with Cartnark firing Kartnark as our ad sales guy.

01:05:08.000 I sent him tons of pictures.

01:05:10.000 Yeah, that, that I don't know why he chose that one.

01:05:14.000 The Bears in the background, that's a fucking giveaway.

01:05:18.000 And he says, dude, they're great guys.

01:05:19.000 I know that guy.

01:05:20.000 He likes you.

01:05:21.000 Why would he do that?

01:05:22.000 But then he tried to spin.

01:05:23.000 He was like, you know, doing good work.

01:05:27.000 I would never do that to you.

01:05:28.000 Yeah.

01:05:30.000 He's like, why are you mad at me?

01:05:31.000 Why are you yelling at me?

01:05:32.000 Well, the easy part of this is whether he's a prankster or incompetent, that fucking today's blunders are obviously grounds for firing.

01:05:40.000 That's easy.

01:05:41.000 So we're good there.

01:05:43.000 But now I got to sort of sit.

01:05:46.000 You know when you fucking come to these conclusions?

01:05:49.000 6 a.m., the sun is coming up.

01:05:52.000 You're lying in bed and you go, dude, he fucking blah, blah, blah.

01:05:59.000 Like when Tony, Soprano, was sitting at the diner and he goes, wait a minute, when he was dressed as Santa, Saul was wearing a wire.

01:06:10.000 That's why he showed up already dressed as Santa so he could have the wire on already.

01:06:16.000 And that's why he freaked the fuck out when someone touched his costume because they'd feel the wire.

01:06:20.000 And he goes, hey, the fuck off the costume.

01:06:22.000 Don't touch it.

01:06:24.000 That's why he was being such a dick.

01:06:25.000 And that's why he went straight to talking about business when he sat down with me.

01:06:28.000 And that's why he threw the bottle of booze at the jukebox.

01:06:34.000 I always name drop David Cross, but he told me once that he was at a party and he was like dancing ska to a song.

01:06:44.000 And these two people come up to him and they're like, hey, man, what's that dance you're doing?

01:06:48.000 And he's like, oh, I'm skanking.

01:06:51.000 And they go, how do you, that's a cool dance?

01:06:53.000 How do you do that dance?

01:06:54.000 He's like, oh, it's really just sort of jogging on the spot.

01:06:57.000 And then you sort of have.

01:06:59.000 And you go with the music and you sort of dance, you sort of jog on the spot.

01:07:03.000 And it's like a ska thing.

01:07:04.000 It's from Britain.

01:07:05.000 It's from the ska moving the specials, you know, like English beat and all that.

01:07:08.000 And they go, oh, cool.

01:07:10.000 That's amazing.

01:07:11.000 And he said, he goes to bed that night.

01:07:13.000 And then he wakes up at like six in the morning and goes, oh, they were making fun of me.

01:07:20.000 Oh.

01:07:22.000 He was just caught up in the moment dancing, feeling good.

01:07:25.000 Yeah.

01:07:25.000 Plus, when you're wasted and you're all trustworthy.

01:07:28.000 But like, I feel like I'm going to wake up at six in the morning and think of him going, yeah, the bears are on in the back.

01:07:32.000 He's probably not even from Chicago.

01:07:34.000 Sorry if you hear curse words.

01:07:36.000 Sorry if you hear curse words.

01:07:37.000 Like, come on.

01:07:38.000 Dude, yeah.

01:07:39.000 Yeah, that's fucking.

01:07:41.000 Sorry if you hear any cursing.

01:07:43.000 Dude, if this is a prank, that comedian, I hope you have a good career, dude.

01:07:48.000 Like, I hope your Kartnark levels in your career because you're a fucking genius.

01:07:53.000 You're like, what's his name on Stern?

01:07:56.000 Stinky Shoes?

01:07:58.000 Stinky Shoes?

01:07:59.000 Sour Shoes.

01:08:00.000 Sour Shoes.

01:08:01.000 You're Sour Shoes level of talent.

01:08:03.000 And I hope you're paying the bills.

01:08:05.000 But Sour Shoes is so talented that he's also nuts.

01:08:08.000 So I think he lives in his parents' basement and just like does perfect imitations all day.

01:08:13.000 So pretending to have this job is holding you back.

01:08:17.000 It's a wasted long con that you just.

01:08:20.000 No, it's great on your resume.

01:08:23.000 And whatever your next job is, you deserve it.

01:08:27.000 It should be good.

01:08:28.000 And this is, if you're a liberal, by the way, this is a good thing to put on your resume.

01:08:32.000 I fucked over Captain Meas.

01:08:36.000 I was his head of sales.

01:08:37.000 Yes.

01:08:38.000 And I made one of his clients a Nazi site.

01:08:42.000 Jesus Christ.

01:08:44.000 Congratulations, dude.

01:08:45.000 Good diss.

01:08:46.000 All right.

01:08:47.000 So you know how this goes?

01:08:49.000 We go behind the paywall shortly.

01:08:50.000 We usually go way.

01:08:52.000 We used to do a half hour before the paywall, but this is fucking nuts.

01:08:56.000 Now we're an hour and 15 minutes.

01:09:01.000 We take calls.

01:09:02.000 We have a super chat.

01:09:03.000 The super chat is raising money for Max and John.

01:09:06.000 We're up to almost 20 grand.

01:09:08.000 We have not read one yet.

01:09:10.000 We've not read one.

01:09:11.000 They're easy to get through, though.

01:09:12.000 We 100% guarantee we will read the $100 ones, but we will make the other ones appear.

01:09:24.000 And how you do that?

01:09:25.000 You're asking me.

01:09:26.000 Well, I'll tell you.

01:09:27.000 You go to the site censored.tv on a browser, and you click the live banner, watch live.

01:09:34.000 And you'll notice under the player of this very show, there's a little button here, a blue button.

01:09:38.000 You click donate to read a message on air.

01:09:41.000 And then it will pop up in this fashion.

01:09:44.000 Okay, so what's that, $10 or zero bucks?

01:09:48.000 My eyes aren't great.

01:09:51.000 If we go from the bottom up, because those are liable to disappear.

01:09:56.000 Like if a new one comes in, the bottommost one will disappear.

01:09:58.000 Okay, so what's the oldest one from today?

01:10:01.000 CUG, $50.

01:10:03.000 Okay, Gavin, could you please...

01:10:08.000 This is the smallest type ever.

01:10:10.000 You should see my phone.

01:10:12.000 I've seen your phone.

01:10:13.000 Millennials laugh.

01:10:16.000 Gavin, could you please expand on your ideas regarding Trump as being the first punk rock president?

01:10:22.000 I've been saying this since the beginning, and yet friends, Brian Eady, cannot seem to understand this.

01:10:29.000 An outsider with as much fuck you money as Trump, dude, we've got to make this type bigger.

01:10:36.000 This is like, I'm at the optometrist right now.

01:10:41.000 Gets set at the table, does not come along too often, I believe.

01:10:46.000 Yeah, that's spelled right.

01:10:48.000 You don't have to, oh, there you go.

01:10:51.000 You don't have to blow the guy, but you should definitely respect his efforts.

01:10:54.000 My apologies for any grammatical or punctual errors.

01:10:56.000 I'm just a lowly Tennessee carpenter with a big dick.

01:10:59.000 Sir, I don't think you have many errors there.

01:11:02.000 Could doesn't need to be capitalized, but I think we're doing well there.

01:11:06.000 Yeah, Trump is an outsider.

01:11:09.000 He is an asshole.

01:11:11.000 He doesn't follow any of the rules.

01:11:14.000 He's totally unpredictable.

01:11:16.000 He has zero respect for the establishment.

01:11:18.000 I mean, how many punk rock boxes do you have to check off?

01:11:22.000 He's rich.

01:11:23.000 That's probably not very punk per se.

01:11:26.000 But Johnny Rotten's rich.

01:11:28.000 I don't know.

01:11:29.000 Did he get his money from stealing?

01:11:32.000 He declared bankruptcy 50 times.

01:11:34.000 Shut the fuck up.

01:11:35.000 You go do real estate in New York and get back to me.

01:11:39.000 And the way he made his money, too, going through the Bronx, getting rent from people and projects when they're not paying their rent.

01:11:47.000 That's pretty fucking badass.

01:11:50.000 He's very like oi, like Sham69, the business, that kind of vibe.

01:11:56.000 But how people don't understand that, I don't understand.

01:12:01.000 Like, if he said, I mean, I could understand not liking Bolsonaro.

01:12:06.000 I fucking love Bolsonaro, but I guess I understand how he's an acquired taste.

01:12:09.000 Trump isn't an acquired taste.

01:12:11.000 He's caught in candy.

01:12:13.000 Like, how do you not like sugar?

01:12:16.000 Bolsonaro is spicy beef.

01:12:18.000 That's weird.

01:12:19.000 I get it.

01:12:21.000 But anyway, that's all I can do to expand on that.

01:12:24.000 Gavin, what's your opinion on the Polynesians?

01:12:27.000 They're the furthest thing from white people, yet starting in 1,000 B.C., they travel the entire Pacific Ocean, colonizing Hawaii, New Zealand, Easter Island, using advanced...

01:12:43.000 In what?

01:12:44.000 A hollowed-out canoe?

01:12:48.000 Using advanced scientific knowledge and ships, navigation, and logistics.

01:12:52.000 They even reached the Americas.

01:12:54.000 There we go.

01:12:54.000 Centuries before Columbus or the Vikings.

01:12:56.000 Jason MoMA.

01:12:59.000 Just Jason MoMA.

01:13:00.000 Momoa.

01:13:01.000 Momoa.

01:13:02.000 Are they the true master race, and are you ashamed to be Scottish in comparison?

01:13:06.000 Yes, you guys win.

01:13:07.000 Polynesians, you fucking rock.

01:13:09.000 So anyway, we leave the cheaper ones up there.

01:13:11.000 You can read them on your own time.

01:13:13.000 We also take calls on Thursdays, get in touch with the people.

01:13:17.000 They tell us what we're doing wrong.

01:13:19.000 They're usually wrong.

01:13:21.000 And we also answer letters.

01:13:25.000 What's hit us?

01:13:26.000 Thanks for calling, Bump.

01:13:29.000 Okay.

01:13:30.000 Hidden.

01:13:32.000 You are on the air.

01:13:35.000 This is a fucking loser.

01:13:37.000 You know, I'm here to learn, share.

01:13:39.000 Understand why.

01:13:40.000 Hey, why does everyone get two things?

01:13:42.000 You have one thing.

01:13:43.000 Thank you for calling.

01:13:44.000 It's great hearing from you.

01:13:46.000 Bye-bye.

01:13:46.000 All right, next call.

01:13:52.000 We are on the air.

01:13:53.000 Okay, first letter.

01:13:58.000 This is confusing here.

01:13:59.000 Gavin and Ryan, you dumb.

01:14:01.000 And then he uses a racial epithet for African Americans, which I don't advocate for.

01:14:07.000 The guy who made the Gavin likes gold site is the same dude who did the FOP Medals fake page.

01:14:13.000 He went to one of your shows.

01:14:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:16.000 I met him in Orlando.

01:14:17.000 That's not what we're talking about, dude.

01:14:19.000 That's funny.

01:14:20.000 We like that guy.

01:14:21.000 He's very funny.

01:14:22.000 Yeah.

01:14:23.000 If you go to FOPFOPmetals.com, not P-H-A-U-M.

01:14:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:27.000 That doesn't mean that our guy is not Andy Kaufman.

01:14:31.000 Just because someone else is fucking with us.

01:14:35.000 The question here is, is this guy the greatest fucking fuck with us of all?

01:14:41.000 used your art in his scheme.

01:14:43.000 Yeah, that's...

01:14:46.000 God, the arrogance of young people drives me insane.

01:14:49.000 Dude, you fucking idiot.

01:14:51.000 The guy who made the fake sites did another fake site.

01:14:54.000 Yeah, I know.

01:14:56.000 But this genius who fucked with us for five months now, I don't even know if Bubba and Hanks exist.

01:15:03.000 No, I did get meat from them.

01:15:05.000 Fuck, was it fake meat?

01:15:07.000 I ate it.

01:15:08.000 I ate it.

01:15:10.000 Seemed pretty good.

01:15:10.000 Was it real?

01:15:11.000 Wasn't that awesome?

01:15:12.000 He left his number, so I figured we could.

01:15:14.000 I figure we can call him.

01:15:15.000 Fats Flavor.

01:15:18.000 He left his number.

01:15:19.000 Who?

01:15:20.000 The guy who just wrote that.

01:15:23.000 Hey.

01:15:25.000 Yeah.

01:15:26.000 How's it going?

01:15:28.000 It's good.

01:15:30.000 Is this Ryan?

01:15:33.000 This is Ryan, yeah.

01:15:34.000 So the guy who made that, so you made GavinlikesGold.com.

01:15:38.000 The guy who sent you a bunch of other pictures, I don't know why.

01:15:41.000 We think he might be like a genius prankster sent in to drive me insane.

01:15:50.000 Well, I don't know.

01:15:52.000 I think it's fucking hilarious, man.

01:15:53.000 So you think it's a different guy than that fat metal fella?

01:15:57.000 No, no, no.

01:15:58.000 Wait, who are you?

01:16:00.000 I'm the guy who fucking gave you Joe Diggs' original address and shit, dude.

01:16:06.000 Ryan, who is this?

01:16:07.000 He's the guy who wrote the letter.

01:16:10.000 Oh, okay.

01:16:12.000 Yeah, I don't know why we're calling you.

01:16:14.000 You left your number.

01:16:15.000 I just figured.

01:16:15.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:16:16.000 Thanks for calling.

01:16:17.000 I'm also huge for us, David.

01:16:20.000 What do you say?

01:16:20.000 I don't know.

01:16:21.000 I'm also a huge boy.

01:16:22.000 And then it faded.

01:16:24.000 We missed Lorraine and Jimmy.

01:16:26.000 They spelled my mother's name right.

01:16:27.000 That's unique.

01:16:29.000 Unique.

01:16:30.000 Why are they not on the show?

01:16:31.000 Good point.

01:16:32.000 Let's call mom and dad.

01:16:35.000 Calls are.

01:16:36.000 Diggs's lawyer, Max and John's lawyer.

01:16:38.000 Calls are stacking up.

01:16:40.000 Call the number at the bottom of the screen.

01:16:43.000 718-400-6959.

01:16:46.000 You're on the line.

01:16:47.000 Mom.

01:16:48.000 718-400-6959.

01:16:54.000 So you know how to call, you know how to super chat, you know how to email.

01:16:58.000 Mailbag at sensor.tv.

01:17:01.000 These are the ways.

01:17:14.000 Three ringy dinghies.

01:17:16.000 Hello.

01:17:17.000 Hello.

01:17:19.000 Hello?

01:17:20.000 Hello?

01:17:21.000 Hey.

01:17:22.000 Hello.

01:17:23.000 Hi, Mom.

01:17:25.000 Hi, Kelly.

01:17:26.000 How's it going?

01:17:27.000 Good.

01:17:27.000 How are you?

01:17:29.000 Good, good.

01:17:30.000 We're kind of just out for the canyon.

01:17:33.000 You know, we're old.

01:17:34.000 We're old.

01:17:35.000 Yeah, I feel bad calling.

01:17:37.000 And I feel even worse for why I'm calling.

01:17:39.000 I was kind of checking in to see if you guys had died yet.

01:17:43.000 Oh, I know.

01:17:44.000 I'm sorry, honey.

01:17:45.000 I'm working on it.

01:17:46.000 I'm working on it.

01:17:46.000 Yeah, no rush.

01:17:48.000 No rush.

01:17:48.000 I feel terrible for even asking.

01:17:50.000 I feel like the worst guy ever.

01:17:52.000 I'm sorry.

01:17:55.000 How are things going with you?

01:17:57.000 Pretty good.

01:17:59.000 I got the kids alone this week.

01:18:01.000 The wife is away.

01:18:03.000 That's not that bad.

01:18:04.000 The secret to being a good stay-at-home dad is you just don't drink, you don't go to the bar and you don't go to the gym.

01:18:10.000 And it gives you like an extra three hours a day.

01:18:13.000 So you're around.

01:18:14.000 Oh, amazing.

01:18:16.000 Yeah, I should tell Dad that because he's usually quite not out by 11 in the morning.

01:18:23.000 What do you mean, knocked out by 11 in the morning?

01:18:24.000 He passes out drunk at 11 a.m.

01:18:28.000 No, he just never wakes up.

01:18:30.000 He sleeps all day.

01:18:31.000 He's at that age, you know?

01:18:33.000 Yeah.

01:18:33.000 But we're not sure if he's got a pulse or not.

01:18:36.000 We just kind of leave him there and then, you know, some people think that we sleep so wooden and anyway, Kyle and Nicole are back in the air.

01:18:49.000 Oh, you gotta tell her she's on the air.

01:18:52.000 Legally, she might sue you.

01:18:55.000 Oh, that'll be cool.

01:18:56.000 Okay.

01:19:10.000 I don't know what I should do here.

01:19:12.000 This didn't work out.

01:19:16.000 could be saying secrets now Mom, mom, mom, I actually got to focus on more important things right now.

01:19:27.000 I'm sorry.

01:19:28.000 Did you originally get attracted to dad because he reminded you of Steve McQueen?

01:19:35.000 Well, he's pretty far from that.

01:19:38.000 Well, now.

01:19:39.000 Now he looks like a turtle with AIDS.

01:19:42.000 But back in 1960.

01:19:44.000 I mean, he was like a beautiful flower that you bought at its prime, and then from that point on, the petals all fall off.

01:19:54.000 He just wilted away.

01:19:55.000 Skinny old stem, you know.

01:19:57.000 When did the petals fall off?

01:20:00.000 Oh, probably after the second year we were married.

01:20:06.000 Did you like, though, that he had a broken nose and he was a hard man in Glasgow and he's a bad boy?

01:20:13.000 Yeah, I guess there was an element of that.

01:20:16.000 It was sort of dangerous to know and dangerous to love.

01:20:20.000 If you know what I mean.

01:20:21.000 Why was he dangerous to know and dangerous to love?

01:20:24.000 Did he have a bad rep in the gorbels?

01:20:28.000 Yes, he did, in his mind.

01:20:32.000 But then he let, when he got involved in any fights, he would let shove a little Alan in, his older brother who was smaller.

01:20:41.000 And if he got beaten up, he would say, oh, I recognize that guy's technique.

01:20:46.000 I can beat him up.

01:20:48.000 So then he would leap in.

01:20:49.000 And meanwhile, poor Realan is lying on his back on the floor with a bloody nose.

01:20:55.000 I wouldn't say, I think he didn't play by what they call it, the rules?

01:21:00.000 So he would use Alan as sort of like fodder to test out what the opponent's techniques were.

01:21:07.000 Exactly, to test their mettle.

01:21:10.000 Plus they were tired after beating up Alan.

01:21:12.000 Queensbury rules.

01:21:14.000 That's not right.

01:21:16.000 Yeah, Glasgow's not known for its Queensbury rules.

01:21:19.000 No.

01:21:21.000 You get the heat.

01:21:22.000 If you pen down, you just get the heat.

01:21:27.000 All right, Mom.

01:21:27.000 Well, thanks for making the show better.

01:21:30.000 Is Dad passed out?

01:21:32.000 What's he doing?

01:21:33.000 He's here.

01:21:34.000 I'm over here.

01:21:35.000 Oh, how you doing, Dad?

01:21:38.000 I'm doing great.

01:21:39.000 We're on this business of Steve McQueen.

01:21:42.000 I used to, Irene used to put a pillowcase over my head, then paint a picture of Steve McQueen on it.

01:21:52.000 And she's a great artist, so it probably looked believable.

01:21:56.000 Yeah.

01:22:01.000 But inevitably, the pillow is going to shift a bit, and it's going to look like Steve McQueen broke his neck or something.

01:22:08.000 Oh, that's exactly what happens.

01:22:10.000 Do you remember that time?

01:22:11.000 We won't say her name, but there was a family friend over at our house in Ottawa, and she was complaining about her lack of intercourse.

01:22:19.000 And she said in her hoser accent, she's like, I can't, I don't get why you two are still fucking together, still fucking for fuck's sakes.

01:22:27.000 And she goes, I'm not getting fucked.

01:22:29.000 My dildo's running out of batteries.

01:22:32.000 And then, Dad, you said, well, the secret is I put a paper bag over my head.

01:22:39.000 And Lorraine just pretends I'm whoever comes to mind.

01:22:44.000 And she was like, I'm fucking serious, Jim.

01:22:48.000 This isn't a joke.

01:22:49.000 Remember the time you were having diarrhea at a party, which you guys had every night, even though I had school the next day.

01:22:57.000 You're listening to fucking dire straits and smoking shitty weed with your skin-tight jeans and brown nylons on.

01:23:04.000 The Sultans of Swing blaring as I begged you all to go to sleep.

01:23:08.000 And you had chronic diarrhea, as you're wont to do.

01:23:11.000 And Diane, oops, I just said her name.

01:23:15.000 Daron came into the bathroom and sat on the bathtub as you were shitting.

01:23:21.000 And she was like, Jim, you got to wake up because you got a great thing here with Lorraine.

01:23:26.000 And you're not treating her with the fucking respect she deserves, eh?

01:23:29.000 And you're like, for fuck's sakes, I'm taking a shit woman.

01:23:36.000 You remember that?

01:23:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:39.000 She was never discreet.

01:23:43.000 Didn't she leave one of our parties, one of our pool parties, in a bikini and somehow hitchhike home, which was like half an hour away?

01:23:52.000 Yes.

01:23:54.000 Actually crackled.

01:23:57.000 The reason she wasn't getting late is she had a gray crew cut.

01:24:00.000 She looked like she was in the military.

01:24:07.000 Grow your hair long, lady.

01:24:09.000 Jesus, she was her shoulders, she looked like a linebacker.

01:24:12.000 Jesus.

01:24:13.000 Well, maybe she was a transgender male.

01:24:17.000 Maybe.

01:24:18.000 She was a pioneer.

01:24:21.000 Oh, she'll be older age now.

01:24:25.000 Yeah, like Stefan Nee.

01:24:26.000 Did you see that Toronto guy?

01:24:28.000 He's like seven feet tall.

01:24:30.000 He Dumped his wife and his six kids to become a six-year-old girl.

01:24:35.000 Oh, God.

01:24:37.000 What about the guy with the boobs?

01:24:39.000 Yeah, I like the theory that he's tricking everyone, and he was getting in shit for being like too, you know, right-wing.

01:24:48.000 So he said, All right, let's play this game.

01:24:50.000 And he wore those ridiculous tits to fuck with him and they can't fire him.

01:24:56.000 I'm 50% sure that this is a brilliant prank.

01:24:59.000 I heard that yesterday.

01:25:00.000 Yeah.

01:25:00.000 That it was.

01:25:01.000 Yes.

01:25:07.000 Yeah, I love it.

01:25:08.000 Problem is, we looked up those tits online.

01:25:11.000 It's like a latex almost vest.

01:25:13.000 It's almost 500 bucks.

01:25:14.000 It must be so hot.

01:25:17.000 Oh, the sweat that must be pouring out of it.

01:25:19.000 God, the rashes you must have.

01:25:21.000 Your armpits are growing mold.

01:25:23.000 It must be.

01:25:24.000 What a commitment to the bit, though.

01:25:26.000 Very impressive.

01:25:28.000 You probably cut some holes in it.

01:25:31.000 All right, guys.

01:25:32.000 So I got to go, but I assume the will is in order.

01:25:35.000 God forbid anything should happen to you.

01:25:36.000 I assume that the finances will be pretty easy to...

01:25:46.000 So it's a 60-40 split?

01:25:51.000 So you're, I mean, hanging by a thread.

01:25:54.000 You're not out of the will, but you're, as Tlorine said, you're hanging by a thread.

01:25:59.000 Are we talking 65-35, 90-10?

01:26:02.000 What have we?

01:26:02.000 95-5?

01:26:04.000 I don't want to go into the details of it, but let me tell you, you'd better start treating us right.

01:26:13.000 I'm not sure what's worse, having to treat you right for the money or just not getting the money.

01:26:19.000 Well, all you have to do is sign up, but you wipe my ass.

01:26:25.000 Keep your fucking money.

01:26:27.000 Goodbye.

01:26:29.000 Thank you.

01:26:31.000 Fuck that.

01:26:33.000 Well, thanks for calling.

01:26:34.000 So we've got 17 calls on the MF flight.

01:26:38.000 All right, so let's take one call and then we'll go goodbye.

01:26:41.000 All right.

01:26:43.000 518, you're on the line.

01:26:45.000 518, what's going on?

01:26:47.000 Welcome to Censored WXPR FM in Cincinnati.

01:26:56.000 518.

01:26:57.000 518, wake up.

01:26:59.000 Trying to see if it's my fault.

01:27:01.000 Yep, we can hear you.

01:27:02.000 What's up, dog?

01:27:03.000 All right, man.

01:27:04.000 So I can tell, Gavin, how artistic you are, how good you are at putting together a show, okay?

01:27:10.000 So I want to say that up front.

01:27:12.000 But the big complaint I have is every episode you talk about transgender people and how fucking disgusting their surgeries are, them getting deformed and it's nasty.

01:27:25.000 And I can't handle it anymore.

01:27:26.000 It's fucking disgusting.

01:27:28.000 It makes you want to gag every time you start talking about it.

01:27:31.000 Okay, so no more talk of the sex change and the cheese blint stick.

01:27:36.000 Oh, oh.

01:27:37.000 What about what Maddie went through with the weird camera soldering iron that went up his femoral artery into his heart?

01:27:47.000 Yeah, less of that.

01:27:48.000 Less of that.

01:27:49.000 More, you know, talking shit about the hood and all that kind of stuff.

01:27:53.000 But all these trans people that are that disgusting, oh, you got to tone it down a bit.

01:27:58.000 Okay, but what about talking about Drag Queen Story Hour and they just had another one and there was kids there.

01:28:04.000 Do I have to drop that?

01:28:06.000 No, I think it needs to be talked about, of course.

01:28:09.000 I think it absolutely needs to be talked about.

01:28:11.000 It's important.

01:28:12.000 But for the level of detail and yeah, we already covered it.

01:28:18.000 Okay, no more fucking gross sex change talk.

01:28:21.000 You can go back and watch it again.

01:28:22.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:28:23.000 Good tip.

01:28:24.000 Good tip.

01:28:24.000 Love you.

01:28:25.000 Love you.

01:28:26.000 Good tip.

01:28:26.000 Speaking of tip, don't they cut the tip of the penis off and they turn that into the clean?

01:28:30.000 Yeah, we have actually a photo of that.

01:28:33.000 The head of the cock lying in a cold little tub.

01:28:38.000 I love the shit they put in the thing.

01:28:40.000 Like when they're doing a boob job, they cut the nipples off and they put them on these bowls of ice.

01:28:44.000 They just sit there, these little pepperonis.

01:28:48.000 You know, when my daughter was born, her nipples were unbelievably small and the same color as her skin.

01:28:56.000 And my mother-in-law came to visit.

01:28:59.000 I like her.

01:28:59.000 She doesn't like me.

01:29:01.000 And I was like, let's call her Julie.

01:29:04.000 And I was like, Julie, where are my daughter's nipples?

01:29:08.000 And she's like, what?

01:29:10.000 And I go, you took my daughter's nipple?

01:29:12.000 That seems weird.

01:29:14.000 Were you going to sell them in the black market?

01:29:17.000 And she's like, I never touched that.

01:29:19.000 Did she not find that funny at all?

01:29:21.000 And she's funny.

01:29:22.000 Indians are funny.

01:29:23.000 Ho-chunks are funny.

01:29:24.000 So I didn't get why she didn't get it.

01:29:27.000 And it turns out she did steal the nipples.

01:29:30.000 So before she left from her first visit, and she was a great, great mother-in-law, great, great grandma, tended to the kid a lot.

01:29:37.000 I took two pepperonis from the fridge.

01:29:39.000 I put them in a sandwich bag and I put them in her luggage.

01:29:42.000 Oh, okay.

01:29:42.000 Like in one of the zip things on the carry-on.

01:29:44.000 How does she not like you?

01:29:45.000 And she's like, okay, well, we're gone.

01:29:47.000 I was like, okay.

01:29:49.000 I hope you don't take this the wrong way.

01:29:52.000 But do you mind if I looked in your bag for one second?

01:29:55.000 And she's like, what?

01:29:56.000 And I go, I kind of have a hunch that something's in there that belongs to us.

01:30:01.000 And she's like, how?

01:30:02.000 Are you out of your mind?

01:30:04.000 I was like, okay, well, I'll look like a real dummy then if there's nothing there.

01:30:08.000 And she's like, and then she didn't even say yes or no.

01:30:10.000 She was just sort of flabbergasted.

01:30:11.000 And then I unzipped the first little pocket and I pulled out the sandwich bag and I pulled out the two pepperonis and I was like, oh my God.

01:30:18.000 What the fuck are these?

01:30:20.000 And she was like, I don't know.

01:30:22.000 And I go, these are Sophie's nipples.

01:30:26.000 You've had these the whole time?

01:30:28.000 And she's like, I didn't put those there.

01:30:31.000 Just like our buddy with fucking.

01:30:32.000 I'm still not.

01:30:34.000 I didn't put that sentence there.

01:30:35.000 It just showed up.

01:30:37.000 Yeah, I'm looking.

01:30:39.000 Look, I got the bears on in the background.

01:30:41.000 There's going to be some fucks and shits.

01:30:43.000 That one is hard to recognize.

01:30:44.000 As if he doesn't know that.

01:30:45.000 Microsoft did it.

01:30:47.000 Yeah.

01:30:47.000 As if I'm going to be like, hey, why are there some fucks and shits?

01:30:50.000 Yeah.

01:30:52.000 All right, let's take another call and then we'll go behind the paywall.

01:30:57.000 Nate, 587, make it good.

01:31:02.000 What's going on, Nate?

01:31:03.000 What's going on, eh?

01:31:04.000 Back in the A, dude.

01:31:05.000 All right, Derek.

01:31:06.000 So I wanted, I agree with Gavin on like 90% of things, right?

01:31:11.000 There's always that 10% that I disagree with.

01:31:13.000 I thought it'd be interesting to have a conversation about one of those things.

01:31:17.000 Okay, Hoser.

01:31:19.000 Okay, uh, abortion.

01:31:21.000 Right?

01:31:22.000 I'm personally against abortion, but I'm not against women doing it.

01:31:29.000 However, Capital Gain states to course correct this kind of fucking buck culture that we have now.

01:31:38.000 It would be best if, in parallel, men could abort at the same rate as women.

01:31:45.000 For instance, first trimester, you could choose to abort the baby, or the man could choose to financially abort the baby.

01:31:54.000 And I think it would self-correct the market.

01:31:57.000 Capitalist solution.

01:31:58.000 So men don't have to pay for the baby if you didn't get an abortion.

01:32:03.000 Well, he has the same option, right?

01:32:05.000 So if she goes, well, no, I'm going to baby trap this guy.

01:32:08.000 And the guy goes, fuck you.

01:32:09.000 It was a one-night stand.

01:32:10.000 You told me you're on birth control.

01:32:12.000 You know, he can go, no, I'm done.

01:32:15.000 I'm out.

01:32:16.000 It's all you.

01:32:17.000 And on the same note.

01:32:18.000 Yeah, but dude, you're not talking about actual cases that you've experienced.

01:32:22.000 You're talking about a concept.

01:32:23.000 You're being an academic here.

01:32:25.000 You know that in real life, if you talk to people who do this, first of all, there's billions and zillions of cases we've all heard of with our friends where she goes, you know what?

01:32:34.000 Don't worry about it.

01:32:35.000 I'm going to keep the baby.

01:32:36.000 It's not your problem.

01:32:38.000 So the financial thing is not a big deal.

01:32:40.000 And when it is a big deal, and she's like, you're going to pay for this, motherfucker.

01:32:44.000 He never pays for it.

01:32:45.000 I can't tell you how many even middle class, upper middle class divorced couples I know where he doesn't pay the child support.

01:32:51.000 He's like fucking six months behind.

01:32:54.000 Oh, he's going to get arrested, whatever.

01:32:56.000 It's not really.

01:32:58.000 Women are not keeping their babies to fuck over dudes.

01:33:01.000 They get money from the government.

01:33:02.000 The dudes don't pay.

01:33:03.000 If you're such a miscreant, if you're such a lowlife that you want to use your dude and make him pay, then he tends to not pay.

01:33:11.000 I don't know.

01:33:11.000 He skips down.

01:33:12.000 He gets in shit.

01:33:13.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:33:14.000 That's fucking Canadians being pontificators.

01:33:18.000 We see that a lot.

01:33:18.000 Anyway, we're going behind the paywall now.

01:33:22.000 We only have 20 minutes left.

01:33:23.000 We usually leave you like an hour and a half ago.

01:33:28.000 But goodbye to the freeloaders.

01:33:31.000 I understand you're cheap.

01:33:33.000 It's $10 a month to go to censored.tv.

01:33:36.000 Unlimited content.

01:33:37.000 More content than you should watch.

01:33:39.000 If you watch every single one of our shows, you have a problem.

01:33:43.000 When we started this network, it was only like me doing four hours, five hours a week, five one-hour shows.

01:33:50.000 Now it's like three or four hours, five hours of content a day.

01:33:55.000 So if you watch all of this, you've got to get a life.

01:33:57.000 It is what's going on in the world with a funny take, super positive vibes.

01:34:02.000 We cry when we look at little kids.

01:34:04.000 It's pro-family.

01:34:05.000 It's pro-fun.

01:34:07.000 And I think you would be remiss not to at least try it for a month.

01:34:12.000 But if you're not, then you're getting cut off right now.

01:34:16.000 Come see our shows.

01:34:17.000 We've got a show in Chicago coming up on the 20th.

01:34:20.000 I'm going to be at Penn State, much to the left's histrionic chagrin on the 24th, just doing normal.

01:34:30.000 They're going to film it.

01:34:31.000 I might put it up here, the Penn State one.

01:34:33.000 And you're just going to see a normal guy saying normal shit like this while people are outside screaming Nazi.

01:34:42.000 And for all you subscribers, I'll see you fucking tomorrow.

01:34:45.000 Fuck.

01:34:45.000 No, subscribers will see you right away.

01:34:48.000 Well, yeah, okay.

01:34:49.000 So subscribers will see you in 12 seconds.

01:34:53.000 But I'll also see you tomorrow.

01:34:56.000 And for all you other people, I'll see you next week.

01:34:58.000 And until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:35:02.000 But Mickey gets around it and gets in one anyway.

01:35:06.000 We're all a bit skint at the moment, so to keep things lively, I'll stick to the next round of it.

01:35:12.000 Get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:35:18.000 Violent podcast over a speaker on campus here.

01:35:21.000 Fuck you, Norman.

01:35:22.000 He is a Canadian, writer, actor, comedian.

01:35:25.000 He's the co-founder of Viking.

01:35:26.000 Oh, fuck another vagina, you gross pig.

01:35:32.000 Serious active movie plug on the movie of the speaker.

01:35:35.000 You got big fucking pigs.

01:35:41.000 I watched that and I said, this chick's too retarded the fuck.

01:35:44.000 You shouldn't do it.

01:35:45.000 They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around.

01:35:49.000 This is the part of Seth that's gonna get real mean before I leave.

01:35:52.000 Wow.

01:35:53.000 R.I.G.

01:35:54.000 40!

01:35:54.000 I stay naughty!

01:35:55.000 I stay naughty!

01:35:56.000 I stay R.I.G.

01:35:57.000 No more filthy.

01:35:59.000 You king.

01:36:01.000 They think we want to tell those kind of jokes.

01:36:10.000 The only two things in the diary tomorrow are focused on the match of the day.

01:36:15.000 Mickey then's put something in my dream and I know it because suddenly the music's fucking a big opportunity possible You've now tuned into the GOML lo-fi stream where all you zoomers can study candles.

01:36:33.000 I hate scents.

01:36:34.000 I hate perfume Incense.

01:36:38.000 Yeah, we're ready to announce the venue in Chicago.

01:36:42.000 Are we?

01:36:44.000 Oh that shit.

01:36:46.000 I thought we were just doing a shout out to me motherfucker.

01:36:48.000 Nah, nah.

01:36:49.000 I just thought maybe we would give a general location.

01:36:52.000 Oh, we're changing the vibe.

01:36:53.000 Okay.

01:36:54.000 This is a really popular YouTube thing.

01:36:56.000 It's more popular than AMR.

01:36:58.000 It's lo-fi streams.

01:37:00.000 So it's just chill music.

01:37:04.000 And a lot of generation sucks.

01:37:06.000 A lot of Zoomers stream with this in the background and it makes things less cringe.

01:37:11.000 Less cringe?

01:37:13.000 That's subjective.

01:37:14.000 Yeah.

01:37:16.000 This is mostly the music, the type of music I use for Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen too, if you notice.

01:37:21.000 Oh yeah, I get comments on it.

01:37:23.000 What do they say?

01:37:25.000 Do they like it or no?

01:37:27.000 What do they say?

01:37:28.000 They hate it.

01:37:30.000 They hate me.

01:37:30.000 They think I'm gay.

01:37:31.000 They say, Who puts the music in there?

01:37:33.000 I go.

01:37:34.000 No.

01:37:36.000 It doesn't slap?

01:37:38.000 No, nothing you do slaps.

01:37:40.000 You know what I thought?

01:37:41.000 It needed balance.

01:37:42.000 The food slaps so hard, we need some unslappable music to kind of chill things out.

01:37:47.000 Chill music that's not fucking gay.

01:37:50.000 But it's not license-free.

01:37:53.000 You know what?

01:37:53.000 I'll find some better stuff.

01:37:54.000 It's just we don't want stuff with lyrics, so now we're like, what?

01:37:57.000 Jazz?

01:37:58.000 You know, what?

01:37:58.000 Where do we get jazz?

01:38:00.000 We don't want jazz.

01:38:01.000 This is like a nice...

01:38:05.000 Why can't I find it?

01:38:06.000 Right now, Maddie's pulling out a brick of Truly's butter, 250 days on past.

01:38:11.000 Brewer House near Lombard.

01:38:13.000 Cracking some eggs.

01:38:16.000 Put them in the pan there.

01:38:18.000 They're sizzling up.

01:38:20.000 Do you know the venue, Ryan?

01:38:21.000 I don't.

01:38:22.000 Brewer House or something?

01:38:24.000 I don't know it.

01:38:26.000 I know that on our Twitter.

01:38:27.000 Oh my god, this music is fucking so annoying.

01:38:29.000 Your taste in music is...

01:38:34.000 Lombard Venue.

01:38:36.000 So on our Twitter, we have the vague location announcement.

01:38:41.000 What changed?

01:38:41.000 Brower House.

01:38:42.000 Brower House.

01:38:43.000 The ticket sales are so bad that we're like, all right, let's just fucking follow the ticket sales up.

01:38:51.000 Wait a minute.

01:38:52.000 I might be wrong.

01:38:55.000 A lot of good vibes.

01:38:56.000 Maddie, did you see the good vibes on this post?

01:39:00.000 I knew you were putting it up, but I didn't get a chance to see it today.

01:39:02.000 I was running around.

01:39:03.000 People are like, you know.

01:39:04.000 Well, not physically running around, but.

01:39:06.000 Yeah, it is Brower House.

01:39:08.000 B-R-A-U-E-R.

01:39:11.000 Schemin.

01:39:12.000 Temmi Chicken Masala.

01:39:14.000 All right, let's take some calls.

01:39:16.000 We've only got 50 minutes left, folks.

01:39:18.000 Lots of great stuff here from peeps.

01:39:22.000 All right.

01:39:23.000 We got calls.

01:39:24.000 Let's see.

01:39:24.000 Oh, wait a minute.

01:39:25.000 Hey, Gab, did you hear what happened at the end of today's tax episode between Kevin Brennan and Stupid Gino?

01:39:31.000 They had to cut the feed early.

01:39:33.000 Now, I did hear on Tuesday's show, Kevin Brennan saying, I'm going to fuck him up.

01:39:40.000 He's giving up my number.

01:39:43.000 He's an asshole.

01:39:45.000 He already fucked up Pat Dixon.

01:39:47.000 And apparently they had to shut this thing down.

01:39:49.000 There was a fight in the studio.

01:39:52.000 That I didn't.

01:39:53.000 I saw it.

01:39:54.000 Okay, Wolves hold it up.

01:39:55.000 Yeah, I'm going there now.

01:39:57.000 Hmm.

01:39:58.000 That's interesting.

01:40:00.000 The last I heard, I actually heard it on my jog today.

01:40:03.000 I was listening to Anthony.

01:40:06.000 And no, they have not posted the episode.

01:40:09.000 The last one is Compound Censor.

01:40:11.000 Shit.

01:40:12.000 I saw some screenshots.

01:40:14.000 Let's see some screenshots.

01:40:15.000 All right.

01:40:16.000 Juicy.

01:40:16.000 Juicy, guys.

01:40:17.000 Juicy.

01:40:18.000 Juicy.

01:40:19.000 He's a wee benefit, son.

01:40:21.000 Oh, I. We got in lots of trouble there.

01:40:26.000 Let's call Gino.

01:40:30.000 This has been a very call-heavy episode.

01:40:34.000 We got the...

01:40:43.000 Turn off that fucking music, you elevator.

01:40:47.000 That's the most hurtful thing I've ever heard.

01:40:49.000 Good.

01:40:51.000 I want to hurt you.

01:40:51.000 Now it feels naked.

01:40:54.000 Yeah, because you ruined everything.

01:40:57.000 A fucking Tony Chicken Masala.

01:41:00.000 What is that from?

01:41:01.000 What is that?

01:41:02.000 Fucking chicken.

01:41:04.000 I have no idea where Chicken Masala comes from.

01:41:06.000 Oh, the song.

01:41:07.000 Okay.

01:41:08.000 Yeah, the opening song.

01:41:10.000 We just played it.

01:41:10.000 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:41:11.000 Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.

01:41:16.000 Gino Giscanti.

01:41:18.000 We're hanging out!

01:41:21.000 Fuck this, fuck this.

01:41:22.000 No, no, no.

01:41:23.000 Come on, Kevin.

01:41:28.000 Well, why don't we have Pat Dixon?

01:41:29.000 No, no, go back.

01:41:30.000 Go back.

01:41:30.000 That's what I think.

01:41:30.000 Is that the whole thing?

01:41:31.000 That's the whole thing.

01:41:32.000 What?

01:41:34.000 Did he call him Kevin?

01:41:35.000 Come on, Kevin.

01:41:36.000 Kevin.

01:41:39.000 Go back.

01:41:41.000 That was it.

01:41:42.000 Well, I want to see it again.

01:41:47.000 Maybe Anthony can respond.

01:41:49.000 Fuck this, fuck this.

01:41:50.000 No, no, no.

01:41:51.000 Come on, Kevin.

01:41:56.000 Fuck this, fuck this.

01:41:57.000 No, no, no.

01:41:58.000 Come on, Kevin.

01:42:01.000 See if there's more clips.

01:42:02.000 I'm looking.

01:42:04.000 Here, look, here's a clip of Levy holding back Brennan and Bobby holding back Brennan.

01:42:13.000 We can get Pat Dixon on the line.

01:42:15.000 What's Pat going to do?

01:42:17.000 Talk he was there.

01:42:19.000 Well, you can...

01:42:21.000 Make stuff up?

01:42:21.000 Go over the...

01:42:22.000 Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging.

01:42:29.000 What causes a man to attack a Gino?

01:42:31.000 That's all conjecture and surmise.

01:42:32.000 That's true.

01:42:33.000 Or we can just watch Geno.

01:42:34.000 So what is...

01:42:40.000 Because the fucking studio.

01:42:41.000 On Tuesday, he was saying, I'm going to fuck him up.

01:42:43.000 Seems to be the only thing he understands.

01:42:45.000 I wouldn't fuck up anyone for giving away my phone number.

01:42:48.000 It's rude.

01:42:49.000 I don't like it, but it's not really punch.

01:42:51.000 Punching is like insulted your family stuff.

01:42:57.000 I don't really care.

01:43:01.000 Am I a pussy, Maddie?

01:43:02.000 No.

01:43:02.000 Yeah.

01:43:03.000 I wouldn't care about like, because if somebody really wants your information, they're going to get it.

01:43:06.000 Yeah.

01:43:08.000 I was listening to this for a while.

01:43:09.000 It's a stream that these guys did because they threw a comedy show.

01:43:12.000 Bob Levy threw a comedy show.

01:43:15.000 Tino bombed.

01:43:16.000 He blamed the venue.

01:43:17.000 You can get rid of that bottom third anytime now.

01:43:20.000 Okay.

01:43:21.000 Face.

01:43:22.000 Yeah, that's what I was going to say, because they probably talked a lot of shit about you on the way back, but good.

01:43:27.000 Good.

01:43:27.000 I don't have to see them anymore.

01:43:29.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:43:30.000 You think I give a fuck if they come back?

01:43:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:43:34.000 When are you bringing back the guys that struggled?

01:43:37.000 When are you bringing them back?

01:43:38.000 You know?

01:43:39.000 Hey, let's put them in a fucking potato sack and see if they can get out of it on stage this next time.

01:43:45.000 Are you fucking kidding me?

01:43:46.000 This was a great stream.

01:43:48.000 To see Bob Levy so pissed.

01:43:50.000 Very cool.

01:43:50.000 I used to see him open up one of Louis C.K. shows where the crowd's just like, huh?

01:43:57.000 Dude, Kevin is very funny.

01:43:59.000 I used to, I don't know.

01:44:02.000 I just said, Gino, please call me.

01:44:03.000 It's serious.

01:44:05.000 It's about you.

01:44:06.000 I know it'll get done.

01:44:08.000 Where are you?

01:44:09.000 How are we doing with chats?

01:44:13.000 Oh, we got some chaz.

01:44:16.000 Okay.

01:44:17.000 Five, I don't care about.

01:44:19.000 Kanye's talking to Project.

01:44:20.000 I heard that.

01:44:21.000 Cool.

01:44:22.000 Pretty neat.

01:44:24.000 Copy Guy is an Owen Benjamin fan.

01:44:27.000 Who's Copy Guy?

01:44:28.000 I don't know.

01:44:29.000 Oh, that's a good guess.

01:44:31.000 But I've been having problems with Copy Guy since day one.

01:44:35.000 Like, since we started this network.

01:44:37.000 So I don't think he's an Owen Benjamin guy.

01:44:39.000 I think if he's a prankster, he's just been like a funny dude who hates me for a long time.

01:44:46.000 How do you pick up chicks in public?

01:44:48.000 I fucked a few in high school, but dated the same girl for seven years.

01:44:51.000 I've completely lost my mojo.

01:44:53.000 Anytime I think about accosting a woman in public, I feel like a pervert.

01:44:57.000 Yeah, well, you can't just go up to him on the street, right?

01:45:00.000 I've known dudes who did that.

01:45:01.000 They're just like, hey, what's up?

01:45:02.000 I'm Tony.

01:45:03.000 What's your number?

01:45:04.000 You got to be pretty darn handsome to pull that off.

01:45:06.000 I just constantly talking into fat chick on the side.

01:45:10.000 I mean, I can't just.

01:45:12.000 Gino Beskant.

01:45:14.000 Beskanty.

01:45:15.000 Gino Beskent.

01:45:18.000 This best can be good.

01:45:20.000 That didn't work.

01:45:21.000 Hey, man.

01:45:22.000 What's up, buddy?

01:45:24.000 You're on the airport.

01:45:25.000 I'm worried about what's going on.

01:45:28.000 Talk to me.

01:45:29.000 I'm just worried that you're going to get fired.

01:45:31.000 I'm worried Anthony's really mad.

01:45:34.000 I don't know what you want me to do or what I should have done.

01:45:38.000 Apologize.

01:45:39.000 Maybe you could call Kevin and apologize.

01:45:43.000 He threatened to kill me because I was in the studio.

01:45:46.000 I have the show afterwards.

01:45:49.000 I know, but it's just so much drama.

01:45:51.000 I just wish there was a way to resolve it.

01:45:54.000 Look, you know me well, and I agree.

01:45:57.000 Like, we're just, I said to him, I went, I wanted to hug him.

01:46:00.000 I wanted to apologize, but he just wasn't hearing it, you know?

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:06.000 I had a long talk with Anthony yesterday after he left, you know?

01:46:10.000 And like, it's just all this shit that goes on offline with Kevin attacking me in personal texts.

01:46:18.000 And then I say shit on there.

01:46:19.000 I'm like, all right, well, fine then.

01:46:20.000 Then it's done.

01:46:22.000 But like, I'm talking.

01:46:24.000 I'm just telling you what I know.

01:46:26.000 I just feel like you're such a great guy and Kevin's such a great guy.

01:46:30.000 I wish you guys could work it out, you know?

01:46:33.000 I mean, we were fine two weeks ago.

01:46:36.000 Yeah.

01:46:37.000 And you guys have such a great report.

01:46:40.000 Yeah.

01:46:40.000 And I was trying, I don't know what you can do when he gets like that.

01:46:45.000 But again, I'm like, I don't know what I could have done.

01:46:47.000 I've never seen it.

01:46:48.000 See, no, I'm just kidding.

01:46:50.000 I couldn't care less if you both shoot each other in the head.

01:46:56.000 I was killing, I killed this story all the time.

01:46:59.000 I go up and like, dude, I'm really sorry I'm shitting on Pattex.

01:47:02.000 And you're like, I care if you kill Pat Ticks.

01:47:05.000 Fuck you.

01:47:07.000 I'm like, I don't know.

01:47:08.000 You're like, we have a great report.

01:47:09.000 I love it.

01:47:10.000 I'm like, yeah, we got a great report.

01:47:11.000 Oh, it was so hard to say that without having a spit take.

01:47:15.000 I want my dollar 65 back, fuck him.

01:47:18.000 I won $809 on my Mets bet.

01:47:21.000 $809.

01:47:22.000 Suck that.

01:47:24.000 Suck it.

01:47:25.000 Shut it.

01:47:26.000 I know.

01:47:26.000 I was wrong.

01:47:27.000 I was wrong when I said $2.68.

01:47:29.000 You were wrong.

01:47:30.000 What?

01:47:31.000 I said, thank God you were wrong.

01:47:32.000 That made no sense.

01:47:34.000 But it doesn't surprise me with gambling.

01:47:36.000 And everyone's shitting on the Mets going, haha, you loser.

01:47:39.000 Oh, I didn't win the World Series.

01:47:40.000 I'm pretty darn happy with what?

01:47:42.000 How many games did we win?

01:47:43.000 100 games?

01:47:44.000 Yeah, you were the smart man.

01:47:46.000 You're like, I didn't bet on them in the postseason.

01:47:47.000 I bet on them in the regular season.

01:47:50.000 And I made money.

01:47:52.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 So what did happen?

01:47:54.000 So Kevin Brennan's mad.

01:47:55.000 You gave out his phone number.

01:47:56.000 He showed up to kick your ass.

01:47:58.000 No, this is it in a nutshell.

01:48:01.000 Okay.

01:48:01.000 Like last week, and they call last week a fan calls in, right?

01:48:06.000 And he says, hey, is Kevin Brennan's number still whatever?

01:48:09.000 And I don't know anyone's number, but it was, right?

01:48:11.000 And I go, yeah.

01:48:12.000 And I don't care about numbers being given out because from my days back in Philly radio, when you had a landline and fucking it mattered if someone had your number, people would give mine out and I got used to it, right?

01:48:25.000 So I didn't care.

01:48:26.000 And then fucking that weekend, I get a text from Kevin Brennan saying, wow, you really love my number on that episode.

01:48:35.000 You really are a fucking nigger.

01:48:36.000 And I take offense to that because everyone's like, Gina screams nigger.

01:48:40.000 I say, well, I don't.

01:48:42.000 I don't.

01:48:42.000 But now in a text, I'm being called.

01:48:45.000 And I said, I said, thanks for the screen grab fucking with him.

01:48:48.000 And he got all mad like I was going to post it.

01:48:51.000 And then I said, you gave out Calta's number on Kunya's show a week earlier.

01:48:58.000 And then you went on Kunya's show after it happened with us.

01:49:01.000 And, you know, everything's a fucking theater with Brennan.

01:49:04.000 And he goes, yeah, Gino, they gave out my number on his show, but who gives a fuck?

01:49:08.000 No one watches it.

01:49:08.000 And I said that to him.

01:49:09.000 Like, so you give out Calter's number.

01:49:11.000 You give me a pussy.

01:49:12.000 You call me a pussy after you shit on me.

01:49:14.000 I'm like, fine.

01:49:15.000 I'm like, whatever.

01:49:16.000 And then I apologize three different times.

01:49:18.000 I'm like, look.

01:49:19.000 Yeah, the part I don't get is.

01:49:23.000 All right, so we got this.

01:49:26.000 Is this number still 646?

01:49:30.000 Gavin, I know he was talking about a place to move in the south that is anti-woke, blah, blah, blah.

01:49:35.000 Wait, this is $10?

01:49:37.000 My shitty eyes show me $0, by the way.

01:49:40.000 That's a long $10.

01:49:43.000 Super chat.

01:49:44.000 And go back to it.

01:49:46.000 And for someone who has traveled around the last 10 years in the film industry, I got to say, the perfect area, for is Mammoth County.

01:49:52.000 New Jersey?

01:49:53.000 New Jersey.

01:49:54.000 Really?

01:49:54.000 Near the shore.

01:49:55.000 I don't like shore.

01:49:56.000 I'm so sick of it.

01:49:58.000 I love Jersey.

01:49:58.000 I hate beaches.

01:50:00.000 You got to be by the beach.

01:50:02.000 Fuck a beach.

01:50:03.000 I hate beaches.

01:50:06.000 Which is basically like, what, you like just sitting on a towel and baking like a potato?

01:50:10.000 I like being close to the water.

01:50:11.000 It's a good escape option.

01:50:13.000 It's just, I like the water.

01:50:14.000 I don't like being landlocked.

01:50:15.000 Yeah.

01:50:16.000 That's what idiots like you and me say when we're from Montreal and New York.

01:50:20.000 Do you know directly behind your building is water?

01:50:23.000 Yes, I love it.

01:50:25.000 I love it.

01:50:28.000 Sorry.

01:50:28.000 Let's see your hair again, moron.

01:50:30.000 Oh, geez.

01:50:31.000 I love it.

01:50:33.000 Look at his hair.

01:50:34.000 Cat dog.

01:50:34.000 It's like a chia pet.

01:50:36.000 It's like a dog.

01:50:37.000 When you see a dog with bangs and hair in its eyes, you just go, you stupid creature.

01:50:43.000 You don't even mind that you can't see it, you fucking loser.

01:50:46.000 My dog.

01:50:47.000 My dog, I think they just cut it recently, but for like two weeks, Leroy had his hair right in his eyes.

01:50:54.000 And I was just like, how does that not bother you, fucking idiot?

01:50:57.000 And then my wife would come with scissors at him, and he'd go like, because he thinks, I don't know, she's going to stab his eyes.

01:51:05.000 And I'm like, good.

01:51:06.000 Stab your fucking Ryan hair.

01:51:10.000 Leroy's.

01:51:11.000 Get this dumb background out of my face.

01:51:13.000 You don't like the lo-fi?

01:51:14.000 No.

01:51:15.000 All right.

01:51:16.000 Anyway, that guy's showing his shit.

01:51:18.000 Any other things there?

01:51:21.000 I'm just warning everybody.

01:51:23.000 That lo-fi thing, it's been suggested from a certain place that has interest in the show.

01:51:33.000 It's a suggestion passed down from somebody.

01:51:35.000 I cannot look at you with that fucking hair.

01:51:38.000 You have mesh.

01:51:39.000 Like when a woman is at a funeral name, she has mesh over her eyes.

01:51:42.000 What?

01:51:44.000 Okay, so what are you saying in your dumb cryptic way that no one cares about?

01:51:48.000 It was suggested by important people that might have some influence on the show that we do a little more Zoomer type content.

01:51:57.000 What?

01:51:58.000 Shareholders?

01:51:59.000 Yeah.

01:52:00.000 And also animals.

01:52:03.000 More animal stuff does really well.

01:52:04.000 We'll talk about it later, but I thought I'd sneak it in before.

01:52:08.000 I think he's got to finish.

01:52:09.000 My Air Force wife is pilot.

01:52:12.000 Uh-oh.

01:52:13.000 She's going to die.

01:52:14.000 Wants me to bang her.

01:52:15.000 She's a thousand miles away.

01:52:16.000 Should I do it?

01:52:18.000 My Air Force wife is pilot.

01:52:20.000 Wants me to bang her.

01:52:21.000 This pilot wants me to bang her.

01:52:23.000 Oh, by the way, I got something you might want to see.

01:52:26.000 Let's take a call.

01:52:27.000 We've got very limited time.

01:52:29.000 Like Rayleota.

01:52:31.000 Hey, are you okay?

01:52:32.000 Is he sick or something?

01:52:34.000 Hey, here he is.

01:52:35.000 I'm not doing a show with Geno's here.

01:52:37.000 I'm leaving so you can do this.

01:52:39.000 That's the name of today's show.

01:52:40.000 I'm not doing a show of Geno's here.

01:52:42.000 He is.

01:52:42.000 All right, I'm in, my buddy.

01:52:44.000 Wow.

01:52:44.000 Get the fuck out of here, you fucking cow.

01:52:46.000 Holy shit, you want to dance?

01:52:47.000 Whoa, what are you doing?

01:52:50.000 Holy shit, you want to dance?

01:52:51.000 What the fuck is that?

01:52:52.000 No, just say, look, I said I said, break your other fucking jaw, you fucking bitch.

01:52:56.000 You only got one.

01:52:57.000 There's two sides to it.

01:52:58.000 Who's filming?

01:52:59.000 It's that.

01:53:00.000 I think it's that camera they have that rotates your one single jaw.

01:53:05.000 You're going to pay away your life to take a swing at me.

01:53:08.000 Why do you take a swing at someone?

01:53:09.000 What the fuck are you?

01:53:10.000 You're a fucking nigger and a faggot.

01:53:12.000 Oh, God.

01:53:13.000 Now I've seen a few of those out on the sidewalk.

01:53:20.000 Gino, I'm going.

01:53:21.000 You didn't take damage.

01:53:22.000 You think that worked?

01:53:23.000 Oh, shit.

01:53:29.000 We got Manix rolled.

01:53:32.000 Well, we didn't really get Manix rolled.

01:53:34.000 We got a lot of content out of that.

01:53:35.000 Yeah, I suppose.

01:53:38.000 So we have a guy calling it about Pitbulls.

01:53:40.000 817, you're on the line.

01:53:41.000 You've been waiting for 13 minutes.

01:53:42.000 Hopefully, he's still there.

01:53:43.000 David.

01:53:45.000 One of the fag capitals of the world.

01:53:48.000 Fag capital of the world.

01:53:51.000 What's up, you bunch of cuties?

01:53:52.000 Oh, cuties.

01:53:53.000 What's happening?

01:53:54.000 Let's start calling each other cuties.

01:53:56.000 That's funny.

01:53:56.000 I like that.

01:53:57.000 That's a new thing.

01:53:58.000 What's up, cutie?

01:53:59.000 Yeah, from now on, I'm calling everyone I know cutie.

01:54:04.000 Hey, did you guys see the story about the fucking pit bull attack in Tennessee last week?

01:54:10.000 Yeah, that guy has the most punchable face in the world.

01:54:12.000 He's got some hipster buffon, and they've got their two fucking pit bulls.

01:54:17.000 Gorgeous.

01:54:20.000 They ate the kids.

01:54:22.000 She must have weighed like 100 pounds.

01:54:23.000 Yeah, she had the two kids in the backyard that got just destroyed by her two pit bulls, and she couldn't stop them.

01:54:30.000 What do you think, Maddie?

01:54:31.000 You're a pit bull guy.

01:54:32.000 How do you feel about that murdering?

01:54:35.000 I knew.

01:54:36.000 Well, I used to work at, like, hang out in this tattoo studio, and it was a girl who used to come in and get tattooed and stuff.

01:54:43.000 And that had happened to her.

01:54:45.000 She was sitting there in a chair getting tattooed, and she was telling the story of how she left the dog with her niece or somebody to watch it.

01:54:54.000 She had to go to work, and the fucking dog tore the kid apart.

01:54:57.000 Like, literally tore the kid apart.

01:54:59.000 But, you know.

01:55:00.000 Killed it dead.

01:55:01.000 Killed it dead, yeah.

01:55:02.000 Like, dismembered the kid.

01:55:05.000 He was a little toddler.

01:55:07.000 I mean, why would you leave a four-year-old alone with a pit bull?

01:55:10.000 That's illegal.

01:55:11.000 No, no, no.

01:55:12.000 Well, I guess it was the family dog.

01:55:14.000 Oh, I see.

01:55:14.000 She had to go to work, and she left.

01:55:17.000 Somebody in her family came to watch the kid, so she'd go to work.

01:55:20.000 Oh, I see, right.

01:55:21.000 And then while she was at work, whatever happened.

01:55:23.000 I gotta go.

01:55:23.000 I'm sorry, Maddie.

01:55:24.000 All pit bulls need to die, including Coco.

01:55:27.000 Well, you can't blame all pit bulls.

01:55:29.000 Yeah, I can't.

01:55:30.000 It's called a pattern.

01:55:31.000 A disproportionate number of people.

01:55:33.000 They just shouldn't be fucking family, though.

01:55:35.000 It's like maybe a single man that can handle a fucking pit bull and keep it contained at all times can be a little bit more.

01:55:41.000 Yeah, good point.

01:55:42.000 Good point.

01:55:43.000 Maddie's cousin walks his pit bull.

01:55:46.000 He's alone.

01:55:47.000 I mean, I had pit bulls my entire life.

01:55:49.000 We had two and a half.

01:55:50.000 Even though there was no toddlers around.

01:55:53.000 Nieces.

01:55:56.000 I've got pictures of getting licked.

01:55:58.000 They're like in their little bassinet spot of Christmas trees and dogs all.

01:56:01.000 Kill them all.

01:56:01.000 Let God sort them out.

01:56:03.000 Look at these memes.

01:56:04.000 There's so many fucking hilarious memes.

01:56:06.000 I went down the rabbit hole and like I'm with you, guys.

01:56:09.000 They're fucking terrible.

01:56:11.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:56:12.000 There's so many hilarious pit bull memes.

01:56:14.000 I saw this one.

01:56:15.000 It was like a pit bull.

01:56:16.000 And it was like, they deny us our medicine.

01:56:20.000 And no, they give us medicine.

01:56:22.000 And they deny us what helps us.

01:56:26.000 So we're left to starve.

01:56:27.000 And it was like, they deny us our medicine and it's a baby crawling.

01:56:34.000 And it's like, yeah.

01:56:36.000 They deny us what helps us or something.

01:56:37.000 It's a baby crawling that's like they fill us full of medicine and it's like drugs.

01:56:43.000 I'm not doing them mean justice.

01:56:44.000 I'll tell you what you get.

01:56:46.000 You get what you fucking deserve.

01:56:47.000 Shreds an infant.

01:56:51.000 How about another mauling, Marae?

01:56:53.000 Their fucking head is a jaw.

01:56:56.000 Earplugs in, crackpipe smoke.

01:56:59.000 I've got tons of pictures like that, like the newborn and the dog.

01:57:02.000 What?

01:57:03.000 I said, I've got tons of pictures that my kids, nieces, and nephews.

01:57:06.000 Before pictures?

01:57:08.000 No, the one touch five.

01:57:10.000 Fatal, you can help by expanding it.

01:57:13.000 Okay.

01:57:14.000 literally any child level nine friendly pitbull level 11.

01:57:27.000 Return.

01:57:28.000 That's a.

01:57:29.000 I don't get that one.

01:57:30.000 It's like a white supremacy thing.

01:57:32.000 Oh, I see.

01:57:33.000 Return.

01:57:35.000 I'm crying.

01:57:36.000 Wow.

01:57:39.000 All right.

01:57:39.000 If you go to Gavin LikesGold, there's a fucking bunch of labs that says return.

01:57:45.000 There's a whole yeah, gavinlikespitbulls.com.

01:57:51.000 You must have done something.

01:57:52.000 Poor dog was scared, confused, being protective.

01:57:56.000 You could apply all these to ghetto blacks who murder people for no reason.

01:58:01.000 My end would never bite.

01:58:05.000 Let's take some calls.

01:58:07.000 We got two minutes.

01:58:10.000 All right.

01:58:11.000 All righty.

01:58:12.000 Two minutes?

01:58:13.000 Oh, man.

01:58:13.000 That one quick.

01:58:14.000 Derek is on the line.

01:58:16.000 Go ahead, Derek.

01:58:19.000 Hey, Gap.

01:58:20.000 I was just curious if you would give some more time to the Alex Jones story.

01:58:24.000 It's crazy to me that he pretty much deals in sensationalism and like conspiracy theory.

01:58:32.000 And obviously, like CNN, MSNBC, they're wrong all the fucking time and they hide behind the fact that, oh, they do opinion pieces.

01:58:42.000 And I know you're more of a journalist, editor, you know, like have a good background in that.

01:58:49.000 Just kind of curious how the fuck this is not just a politicized attack on Alex Jones.

01:58:56.000 Obviously, they're just trying to take him out.

01:58:58.000 I was curious if you had some more thoughts on that.

01:59:00.000 Yeah, I mean, we talked about it a lot yesterday with Anthony, but it is clearly a way to subjugate the opposition to stifle Trump supporters.

01:59:11.000 This is about Trump.

01:59:12.000 If this was Keith Olbermann, if this was Rachel Maddow, she, I don't know, might be suspended for a week or some shit like that.

01:59:22.000 This is a guy who has been right on almost everything he said.

01:59:27.000 He allegedly got something wrong.

01:59:30.000 And I don't understand the legal precedent for paying a billion dollars for getting something wrong.

01:59:38.000 Even if he thought and said it wasn't true, it was the actors and all that.

01:59:45.000 It's still not illegal.

01:59:46.000 You can say whatever the fuck he wants.

01:59:47.000 Like, what if I say Australia doesn't exist?

01:59:49.000 It's fake.

01:59:50.000 The earth is flat.

01:59:52.000 It's a fake country.

01:59:53.000 And the airlines, they just go in a circle and they drop you off at a fake Australian Walt Disneyland.

01:59:59.000 And then people start killing Australians.

02:00:02.000 That's horrific.

02:00:03.000 But should I be...

02:00:08.000 No one killed any Sandy Hook parents.

02:00:11.000 Am I culpable?

02:00:13.000 I mean, I was wrong.

02:00:14.000 I thought Australia didn't exist.

02:00:16.000 They went after him for slander or like what do you call it?

02:00:21.000 Like when you sued the SPLC defamation.

02:00:24.000 Defamation.

02:00:25.000 Defamation.

02:00:27.000 People didn't call them out by their names.

02:00:29.000 Right.

02:00:30.000 Yeah.

02:00:30.000 That's not like you went up and said, okay, these parents or this couple of this.

02:00:35.000 It seems like a very simple free speech thing.

02:00:37.000 Yeah.

02:00:38.000 I mean, just because you have the judgment against him.

02:00:40.000 Like, I'm against him getting a fine, but just like with Max and John, like, if you are going to punish them, I don't know.

02:00:47.000 Community service, four days in jail.

02:00:50.000 What should his fine be that his negligence led to someone getting harassed?

02:00:56.000 I don't know.

02:00:56.000 A $1,000 fine?

02:00:58.000 Fucking he can't go on the air for a week?

02:01:02.000 A billion dollars?

02:01:04.000 What?

02:01:05.000 That's what a corporation has to pay if they create a chain of water parks and the water parks decapitate people.

02:01:12.000 There was a kid, I forget the water park.

02:01:14.000 Action Park.

02:01:16.000 He lifted up his head.

02:01:17.000 He got his head cut off.

02:01:19.000 The parents got $25 million, which, by the way, is the same as, I think, that ugly chick from Fox News who sued Bill Riley.

02:01:27.000 That's, I guess, the ballpark of these crazy cases.

02:01:31.000 And that's a dead child, by the way.

02:01:34.000 A billion dollars?

02:01:35.000 Like, a billion dollars is like Philip Morris, class action suit, Pfizer smoking, and long cancer.

02:01:41.000 It's Pfizer with OxyContin.

02:01:43.000 It's not a guy with his own show who allegedly got something wrong.

02:01:48.000 This is groundbreaking.

02:01:51.000 It's going to set a bad precedent.

02:01:52.000 But you're going to have to pay me for a theory.

02:01:54.000 But even still, I mean, just because you get a judgment lean against him, most people, you don't have to pay.

02:01:59.000 Fuck the judgment.

02:02:00.000 All right, thanks for calling.

02:02:01.000 Yeah, O.J. Simpson apparently never paid one red cent, as Anthony said.

02:02:05.000 He said it's a civil suit.

02:02:06.000 It's not criminal.

02:02:06.000 By the way, speaking of our buddy Ant and his show, this is the clip.

02:02:11.000 Two minutes, 17 seconds.

02:02:13.000 Are we ready for extreme violence, blood, and murder?

02:02:15.000 Juice.

02:02:16.000 Jose.

02:02:17.000 Four times in the thread.

02:02:18.000 Did he apologize to you personally?

02:02:20.000 No.

02:02:21.000 All right.

02:02:22.000 Would you like my number now?

02:02:23.000 Huh?

02:02:24.000 Garrett, do you have the thread?

02:02:26.000 Would you like to know?

02:02:29.000 Now you're telling Garrett what to do, but you can't tell him to take out my number, you fucking faggot.

02:02:34.000 I didn't think it was a problem.

02:02:36.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:02:37.000 No, no, no.

02:02:38.000 No fighting.

02:02:39.000 Shut the door.

02:02:40.000 Close all airtight doors.

02:02:45.000 Close all airtight doors.

02:02:47.000 No, no.

02:02:48.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:49.000 I just made it in time.

02:02:50.000 Holy shit.

02:02:51.000 Bravo to the producers, by the way, for keeping the angles where they ought to be.

02:02:56.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:56.000 This is so much better than hood fights where you can't see anything.

02:03:00.000 Do you not want us to show the thread where I apologize for you?

02:03:04.000 How about that?

02:03:04.000 Fuck this.

02:03:05.000 Fuck this.

02:03:05.000 No, no, no.

02:03:06.000 Come on, Kevin.

02:03:10.000 Joy Gino.

02:03:11.000 Gino's got all the answers.

02:03:12.000 He always does.

02:03:13.000 Oh, Kevin.

02:03:16.000 Kevin.

02:03:18.000 Oh, Kevin.

02:03:18.000 No, no, no.

02:03:19.000 It's so.

02:03:20.000 Oh, my God.

02:03:20.000 He's like a black woman in a Wawa.

02:03:23.000 Kevin.

02:03:24.000 You breaking the camera?

02:03:25.000 That'd be a big deal, man.

02:03:26.000 That thing is fucking expensive.

02:03:28.000 Don't hit him.

02:03:29.000 Don't punch him.

02:03:30.000 Don't punch Gino.

02:03:32.000 Don't punch him.

02:03:34.000 You can't have assaults happen on this.

02:03:36.000 On this.

02:03:37.000 Oh, my God.

02:03:38.000 The security camera.

02:03:40.000 The security camera.

02:03:41.000 13th of October.

02:03:43.000 Both of October.

02:03:44.000 I'm so glad E-Rock's here to take care of this.

02:03:47.000 Oh, my God.

02:03:48.000 Wait a minute.

02:03:49.000 He's coming through the door.

02:03:50.000 Trying to break the glass.

02:03:51.000 I don't have a problem with me breaking this, do you?

02:03:53.000 No, no.

02:03:53.000 That's Gino's fucking logic.

02:03:55.000 Breaking what?

02:03:56.000 Breaking the camera.

02:03:57.000 No, no, you can't break the camera.

02:03:58.000 I don't have a problem with it.

02:04:00.000 Do you?

02:04:00.000 No, I would have a problem with it.

02:04:02.000 Gino's logic.

02:04:03.000 I don't have a problem giving out my number.

02:04:05.000 Why shouldn't?

02:04:07.000 Imagine Anthony just, you know what?

02:04:08.000 And he just gets up and lays him out.

02:04:10.000 I'd be like, oh, shit.

02:04:12.000 I mean, I wouldn't want that to happen, of course.

02:04:14.000 I feel like Ant's one of these guys who get him mad.

02:04:17.000 You keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

02:04:19.000 He's like, that's fine.

02:04:19.000 We're joking.

02:04:20.000 No.

02:04:21.000 And then if you grab that camera and smash it, he'd be like, click.

02:04:25.000 He's on testosterone.

02:04:26.000 He's a pit bull now.

02:04:27.000 Yeah, he's a pit bull.

02:04:29.000 And Kevin's a toddler.

02:04:33.000 But we already been through.

02:04:34.000 No, no numbers.

02:04:35.000 No, he's still.

02:04:36.000 I still get a fucking door because he's a faggot.

02:04:38.000 Look at him.

02:04:39.000 He's a fucking dick.

02:04:40.000 Everybody calls him.

02:04:41.000 Oh, I don't have a problem because you don't have a problem.

02:04:43.000 I'll fucking kill you, you fucking faggot.

02:04:46.000 Oh, oh, oh, no, no.

02:04:48.000 Oh, no.

02:04:50.000 Those are like $800 mics.

02:04:51.000 Yeah, I was going to say, that's an expensive mic.

02:04:54.000 There he goes.

02:04:54.000 Fucking faggot.

02:04:55.000 You're a fucking faggot nigger, I assume?

02:04:58.000 I assume so.

02:04:59.000 Well, that's what he addressed him as when he first started, the argument.

02:05:02.000 That's not his actual god-given name.

02:05:04.000 Sure, those are not my pronouns?

02:05:05.000 Yes, those are.

02:05:06.000 Juicy gossip over at Compound.

02:05:09.000 Nice, juicy.

02:05:11.000 It really is a ship of fools over there.

02:05:13.000 Great network.

02:05:14.000 I love all the shows.

02:05:17.000 They're great.

02:05:18.000 But yeah.

02:05:18.000 I love Chrissy Mayor.

02:05:19.000 That was my previous alma mater.

02:05:22.000 Okay.

02:05:23.000 Does that count?

02:05:24.000 Sure.

02:05:24.000 Yeah.

02:05:24.000 I just want to say that.

02:05:26.000 Yeah, you can say it.

02:05:27.000 I want an alma mater.

02:05:28.000 There you go, folks.

02:05:29.000 We got the gossip.

02:05:29.000 I hope I'm not shit with Anthony for showing that.

02:05:32.000 Oh, well.

02:05:32.000 I wouldn't think so.

02:05:34.000 No, because the tweet said we'll show it later.

02:05:36.000 It's going to be on demand later.

02:05:38.000 That's the show.

02:05:39.000 We went five minutes over.

02:05:41.000 I'm very punctual.

02:05:42.000 Tomorrow we'll have an awesome show.

02:05:46.000 $100.

02:05:47.000 Oh, shit.

02:05:48.000 Gavin is a dick, but this is for the boy.

02:05:50.000 $100.

02:05:51.000 Touching.

02:05:52.000 We're $1,000 away, boys.

02:05:56.000 From giving a bunch of money to Max and John when they get out.

02:05:59.000 Why not give that to them now?

02:06:01.000 I don't know.

02:06:02.000 I trust everyone around them, but I would rather just give it to the actual human being.

02:06:06.000 Yeah, that'll feel better.

02:06:07.000 That's the best thing to do.

02:06:09.000 This way you know it got to where it was supposed to go.

02:06:10.000 Yeah.

02:06:11.000 And if they fuck it up and they lose it, that's on them.

02:06:13.000 It's on them.

02:06:14.000 They can trick it up any way they want.

02:06:19.000 So that's it.

02:06:20.000 We'll see you tomorrow.

02:06:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:06:21.000 20th and 24th.

02:06:22.000 I'm gone for two days for the Chicago show, two days for the Penn State show.

02:06:26.000 So we'll have banked episodes.

02:06:27.000 It'll be fun.

02:06:28.000 Don't worry.

02:06:28.000 We won't rip you up.

02:06:29.000 You'll get tons of good shit, but it might not be two hours.

02:06:33.000 I like you more than a friend.

02:06:34.000 I'll see you tomorrow.

02:06:35.000 And until we meet again, get fired.

02:06:39.000 Get in trouble.

02:06:40.000 Be brave.

02:06:42.000 And never stop fighting.

02:07:05.000 Things start getting a little bit more.

02:07:06.000 Fucking good, you fucking rat, stomped, fucking bad.

02:07:10.000 Dave said he's not having one, cause he's got work tomorrow.

02:07:13.000 What if I were to say I want to be a toad?

02:07:17.000 We're all a bit skinned at the moment, so to keep things lively, I want to be a woman.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 14, 2022

GOML LIVE #169 - HERB TARLEK IS CART NARC

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript